Memorial poems for husband

\"What's a cult? It just means not enough people to make a minority.\"- Robert Altman
HELLO EVERYONE! I'M BAAAACCKKKKK! Sorry, it's been a while, college and all. Now that I'm Back from college, I should post more regularly. The story shall continue! I might be a bit rusty, but I'm definitely getting back into the swing of things. Hope you all enjoy it.
This fanfic is based on the fanfic The Isolationists, by Seeyouon_otherside, and a continuation of the stronger_together series. Constructive criticism is appreciated.
Time Since First Contact: Y:0 M:1 W:0 D:0
Memory transcript: Commander Fango Feral, Tiwond of the Enforcers.
“Again,” I told Sunclick. He nodded as the security feed from the incident at the mall played once more in front of us. My niece Canilia Lieutenant Feral, Sunclick, along with the commander lieutenants of each district, all observed what was happening on the screen in front of us, from the human known as Sixer interacting peacefully with a couple, then that brat, who came out of nowhere, who was chasing some poor Zeyzell, then Ashina, who came out of the bathroom and slammed the brat on the ground. Then he and his friends left only for the brat, who disappeared before he left the door. “And his friends have no idea where he went?” I asked one of the commander lieutenants.
“No, sir. My husband was one of the people on that recovery team, and after heavy interrogation of the kids' friends, he simply disappeared. He left his friends completely abandoned and confused. They don’t know where he went. It was like he just vanished.” One of the commander lieutenants spoke up.
“Thank you for the confirmation,” I told him. He swished his tail in acknowledgment and then started talking to the others as they bounced theories and questions off one another. Leaving me and my niece to ourselves, my niece stepped forward.
“Sir, I understand this is personal for you, especially since it involved Ashina.” my niece told me.
“Thank you for understanding that. You don’t have to call me sir. You are my niece.”
“I know, it's just a professional courtesy.” She responded flatly.
I nodded. “Thank you. I know you and her didn’t always get along, especially after her parents died, but I’m glad you, too, have become such close friends after we let her in under our roof,” I whispered to my niece. Looking at my niece's face, I wished I could take off that gas mask to see her smile. However, I knew what was under it, and any real chance of her being truly happy was most likely long, long gone. Ever since she lost her gift, she has been bitter and angry, focusing solely on protecting others from the same fate that befell her. Wait a minute, isn’t the staying human Dominic staying with her? “Canilia, how are things with that human? You don’t talk about him much.”
She was silent. Then I heard a weird, cracking sound. It was very faint, but I could hear it as she was right next to me. It was coming from her mouth. I know that cracking sound. It’s what’s left of her cheek, curling into a smile. A Small one, but a smile nonetheless. “He is very kind to me. He likes hugs, he likes to talk, and he likes to listen. I like that he likes to help me, although I have yet to show him this.” She gestured to her stomach, where her gift once was. I nodded. She was...happy...
I nodded to Sunclick, who then took over the conversation so I could talk to my niece. He drew the attention away from us, allowing us to speak. “Do you think the aliens will be able to help you reclaim your gift?” I asked.
She shrugged. “I sure hope so, another thing, however.” She spoke much more quietly. “ I’ve been staring at the neighbors' kids again. I don’t know how long I’ve been doing it, but Dominic’s caught me doing it twice. He knows something, and he will think less of me when he finds out.” She hung her head with despair. With all my heart, I wish I could reach out, grab her by the head, and yell at her that losing your gift isn’t a sign of dishonor. She was wounded in combat. None of it was her fault, and that she should forgive herself. But I know that wouldn’t work, she’s too stubborn like me, one of the few traits. I wish she had never gotten it from me. If my sister was here now, she would kill me.
“What has he done about it?” I asked. “When he saw you looking at the little ones.”
She moved a little bit, causing her power armor to creek, then looked back up at me with the sort of, well, I don’t know, I've never seen that look in her eyes. It was like Hope and joy, but more. “He knows something is wrong. It’s his medical training that tells him it and his instincts, he’s actually baked a few meats for me, and sometimes when I snap out of it, there’s a blanket over me and a hot cup of…coco, I believe he calls it next to me. He is an excellent caretaker.”
I couldn’t help but smile. She finally found someone who isn’t intimidated by her, who is willing to care for her that isn’t me. I felt an odd pride at that, but I’ll take that pride.
“Is the great Canilia Feral Smiling? Oh, I never thought I would see the da-.”
My niece and I turned at the same exact time. Our combined staring rivals that of any sun's power, with how intense our staring was at the damned soul who dared make a comment like that at her. The moment our eyes landed on the poor soul, he shriveled faster than a drumling that was absorbed into a flesh pit. He quickly hung his head and scurried out of the room to the laughter of the other lieutenant commanders. I turned back to Sunclick, who was having a bit of a chuckle of his own, he looked up at me and gave him the thumbs up, and I returned the gesture. “Have the scanners picked anything up? The cameras, have they picked anything up about this person?” I asked him, the laughter quickly leaving the room as we returned to full seriousness mode.
“Sorry, commander, nothing, we’ve picked up absolutely nothing about this guy. We’ve run background checks, and we believe a few leads and we have some units out there checking out all the leads, however, will take some time as there are quite a few, and we don’t really know much about this kid. There are almost no files on him. The only thing we have turned up is a birth certificate and seventeen residences, which cannot be right. However, we did find something rather interesting. After talking to some of the people on the scene, we were able to discern a possible motive, which gave us a very good lead. Then, looking into that motive, we found a few of these.” Sunclick pointed to a stack of extremely old newspapers, the ones the type that came right after the third unification war, when hyperpaper was very rare, and the plants that needed to be used in hyperpaper production were almost all wiped out during the war, and these are made on type of cloth to save hyper paper. I walked over and picked one up, looking at the article that was circled. It read, “Boy's mother, abducted by aliens? Fact? Or postwar terrorist?” I looked at Sunclick.
“I remember the post-war terrorist, and I put a few down myself.” My niece spoke out loud as she looked over my shoulder. One of the lieutenant commanders came up, picked up the newspaper stacks, and started handing them out to the others.
“Sunclick, I trust your judgment, but can you explain…this?” I asked him. His eyes lit up like a Titan bug after it had ingested a bunch of parasites that were making their way out of its body.
“I would love to! You see, this kid, for whatever reason, believes that aliens abducted his mother. Now, post-war terrorists were common, and they are running around, and it might even be true that a post-war terrorist kidnapper killed his mother. However, the body was never actually found like most terrorist killings. After the war, there was so much confusion because people didn’t know what to do, and many were still bitter that we had won. For whatever reason, this kid got this idea into his head that aliens had kidnapped his mother, which everyone was kind of obsessed about, even more so that there are some literally living among us. Much to everyone’s delight, I must say. However, with that single statement, that single line, and what witnesses told us at the scene. We have a much more narrow view of who this kid is, the only problem is, that the kid was never properly documented. He’s a ghost in the system. The good news is his friends have been more than helpful, as they didn’t realize he would go that far. They've been telling us everything about him, but after some digging, it turns out they know just as much as we do, next to nothing. Either this kid is extremely paranoid or…” Sunclick went silent.
“Please, Sunclick, tell us.” my niece asked.
He took a deep breath. He shifted nervously in his seat. “He’s a part of the cult of the old God.”
The emotion and general vibe of the room immediately shifted when the cult of the old god was mentioned: those rat bastards. “Do you think they moved up this far north?” I asked him.
“Honestly, I think so, I’ve been working with some of the lesser district managers since all of you guys have been busy with the aliens, which I don’t blame you for. They’re pretty freaking awesome. However, since their arrival, the cult of the old God activity has practically tripled twenty-fold. It’s insane what they’ve been pulling off, from stealing military equipment to assassinating low-level political members-"
"WHY IN THE OLD VOID WAS I NOT MADE AWARE OF THIS!?!" I screamed. Everyone in the room winced except my neice. Sunclick, who had received the full force of my explosive outbursts, had his ears pinned on his head and looked somewhat afraid of me now. I sighed and motioned him to continue. "Please continue."
"....uh sorry...I was going to tell you eventually, as things are out of hand, which is probably about right now. However, you were busy with the aliens and...never mind, it's not important now. If this kid is a part of the cult of the old God, they’ve gotten extremely bold, and they will become a major problem for the aliens. Their whole goal is to purify the planet and kill the great protector so that their own God, the old God, the one who came before the great protector, can reign again, and we can expand past the red lightning veil and enter the greater galaxy. These aliens represent a massive threat to that ideology. Now they know there’s another life out there, other empires, they will see the aliens as a huge threat. This means they’ll be number one on their bucket list to take out, and if they do that, the aliens could turn against us, seeing us as all hostile, which is not happening at all, considering just how nice they’ve been, they’re also extremely cuddly, I mean, have you seen the way they-.”
“Sunclick, I understand you enjoy discussing advanced science with humans, but we need you to focus.” One of the commander lieutenants said. Sunclick stopped and nodded.
“Right, right, sorry. As I was saying, the aliens represent a massive threat to their organization. However, this attack could’ve been a totally one-off situation where some random member decided to prove themselves. However, it also could have been something to test the alien's reaction to one of their own getting attacked. The aliens were mad, sure, but they trusted us to keep them safe. The aliens themselves didn’t do much other than send down more equipment for us and some of their own people to monitor the situation.” Sunclick finished.
I nodded my head. “Thank you, good work as always.” he smiled and nodded as his ears returned to normal, then returned to his computer. I looked back at the lieutenant command, who had the Zeyzell and citizen who were assaulted under her watch. “How are the two that were assaulted?”
She grimaced. “Not great, I'm afraid. The Zeyzell has been having regular panic attacks, and the citizen has refused to come out of their house in the past two days. They’re too scared for their Zeyzell counterpart. The two have become great friends, which is good for AR, though.” She said,
“AR?” I asked.
“Sorry. Many of the grunts have been using it, and it’s very catchy. It’s called alien relations, AR.”
I nodded and turned back to the screen as the scene played again. It was the kid, limping off out of the door, who would then disappear from his friend's arms. I glanced up at the screen a little higher, and that’s when I noticed it. A camera is not connected to the system, barely a pixel on the screen. It’s a private camera. How did we not see that? “Sunclick, look up top of the ceiling on the screen,” I told him. He looked up, and his eyes went wide.
“It's a private camera! How could we miss that?” he said out loud.
“Not important right now. Can you get access to it?” I asked him. This is the chance I've been waiting for to get this person who would dare assault the alien who's making my daughter so happy.
“Yes, sir, I can do that!” he proudly exclaimed. After a few quick taps on his computer, multiple connections, errors, and unknown errors, he punched the computer and got a connection. The tape played this time from the front. The angle was a bit weird, so we couldn’t get a good look at the kid's face, But it was what was around his neck that mattered.
“I’ll be damned, a pendant of the cult of the old God.” my niece said as we all looked at it in surprised silence. “ I’m gonna have fun tearing that kid apart.” She said as she flexed her power armor claws. I looked at the pendent in silent anger. "Bold of the kid to wear it around in the open like that." She said aloud, and we all agreed.
I turned around to the face of other lieutenant commanders. “This is what we’ve been preparing for. You know the drill: get your districts, alert every enforcement office if possible, and get the enforcers on the streets. Get everyone on higher alert. I want more patrols, and I want everything more. Not enough to alert the population that something is happening yet, just more than usual.” They all nodded and streamed out of the room. I turned to leave. However, an open door caught my eye. I turned and walked through it to see my niece standing on the balcony overlooking the city. I wandered out myself, power armor slightly clanking the entire time, the metal hitting the cold, polished concrete of the floor. I also looked at the sprawling metropolis we had built from this hell hole of a planet, its towering walls lined with guns and cannons to keep out the beasties. I walked up beside her and saw that something was in her hands. “What do you have there?” I asked her.
I looked at it closely, and it seemed to be some sort of scarf. I didn’t recognize the design or patterns. “Dominic made this for me. I don’t exactly know why. He just kind of did. He didn’t ask for anything in return. He just gave it to me. He said he didn’t want me to get a cold.” She brought the scarf to her neck, which was a perfect fit. She tied it around just underneath her mask, and when she was finished, she let out a puff of steam from her mask.
“It's a perfect fit,” I replied, smiled, and looked back out over the city. Looking over it, I thought about our history, the feral's bloodline, and how we have served as the world’s protectors for so long. Now, it was threatened because only two ferals were left: me and my niece. Now, we have aliens to deal with. They seemed nice so far…
I leaned a little farther over the railing. A glint of metal in the sky caught my eye and I looked up to see one of the Zeyzell transports coming down, most likely More Humans. I tracked it with my eyes as it landed in one of the newer landing pads with a loud clang, the landing gear hissing as it landed, and saw a large number of my people standing around there waving signs that said “Welcome!” and “Hello new friends!” and other signs that said similar welcoming messages. I smiled and looked over at my niece. “How has the city’s morale been since the aliens have come here?”
She quickly opened her wrist computer and typed minor keys on the tiny keypad. I still don't understand how she can use that, the screen is so tiny. “From last time, when it was already an eighty percent increase, an additional twenty-three point four percent.”
I smiled even brighter and looked back down. The Zeyzell transport landed, and everybody cheered, and then the door opened as the Humans and a few Zeyzell came off the transport. My people began shouting names. Most likely for exchange partners. Immediately, the aliens again answered the calls and ran to their new friends. Many embraced in tight hugs and made what I assumed were happy noises based on how their mouths moved, as I could hear very little from up here. A few of the humans even started crying as soon as they embraced the larger frames of my species, practically melting into the "floofy fur" as the humans called it, of our fur. I even saw a pup leap from its mom and “run,” although it was more of a quick waddle over to a human and embrace them, making happy beeping sounds the entire time. The human held them so gently as if they were afraid to break. Then, he immediately started to cry uncontrollably.
However, with all of the joy and happiness down there that I so loved, I was a bit disturbed by the crying. What in the world could they have gone through that would make something like a simple hug so unique? No, it wasn't the hug itself. I thought about my time on board the ARK ship and what I had seen. I have seen many humans embracing each other and hugs, giving each other kisses or their equivalent of it, I've also seen them embracing and hugging Zeyzell. I was also aware of a lot of inter-species couples and marriages on board the ARK ship. I thought about it very hard, deciphering everything that I had learned on board the ARK ship, in addition to the information that was sent to us very early on, and-... then it clicked. “They aren't crying because they're being shown love…”
“What?” My niece asked.
I turned fully to her. “They are not crying because they're being shown love. They are crying because another species is showing them love. They're being shown that someone cares about them other than their own species and the Zeyzell.” I turned back to the landing pad and the ship was leaving as all the aliens had found the people they were looking for and were being carried back to cars, walking alongside them, or simply sitting and talking and sharing a meal. As I stood there, it was as if I could feel the emotions coming from the humans: the joy, the happiness, and the sheer love of being accepted. I couldn't explain it, but I felt as though we shared a deeper connection with humans than we initially thought.
“Do you feel it?” my niece asked. I looked at her and nodded. “I can feel the joy, happiness, and love they are feeling right now from all the way over here.” I nodded my head.
“I think whoever or whatever they were running from was another alien species, based on the information I gathered from the ark ship, the reactions and emotions of the humans down there, and the information I sent to us early on. I had theories before that it was another species they were running from; I know many other people thought that, too, But I think this almost confirms it: they are definitely running from someone. Or were, but now they feel safe here.” I told her as I gestured to all the people below us.
My niece nodded. “When I get home, I'm going to give Dominic a big hug.” We remained silent for a time. Just watching the beautiful scene before us as the snow fell slowly and lightly, the trees swayed in the breeze, ever so slightly bending. The wind made a howling noise as it whipped through the tight streets and architecture of our building. I breathed in and let it out, letting my breath turn to steam. I reached out and let the snow fall onto my hand. I brought my hand close, but the snowflake had already melted. My gaze returned to the Humans and Zeyzell, enjoying the snow alongside my people.
I turned to my niece. “Our planet may be trying to kill us in over a thousand different ways, but it’s beautiful, huh?”
My niece sighed and looked at me. “Yeah, and it’s going to get a lot better now that we have friends, or lovers for some, from beyond the veil.” I nodded and looked back at the snow that now danced in my vision as the Humans and Zeyzell departed with my people. I sighed, and we both returned inside to see Sunclick waiting for us.
“You can go nerd out with the humans now,” I told him.
‘“Thank you, sir!” He shot out of the room and down the hall. I smiled and turned back to my niece.
“Do you want to grab something to eat? The snow is great right now.” I asked
“Sure. However, before that, we should warn the aliens about the cult, huh?”
“Oh, definitely,” I told her. I smiled and we walked over to the communication system connecting us to the Aliens.
First/Previous/Next

After feeling very out of the loop for the last few years on most of the books that got nominated for awards, I have decided that 2024 is my year of reading stuff being currently published. While I will no doubt get sidetracked by shiny baubles from the past, I am going to be completing a bingo card with books solely written in 2024.
I picked up Floating Hotel thinking it would be the newest in a string of cozy fantasy/sci fi books. Generally my expectations for these are relatively low, since the purpose of this genre is more about comfort and safety rather than being boundary pushing. Floating Hotel ended up being neither of those things
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https://preview.redd.it/n9pdxel11e1d1.jpg?width=651&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2ccbff8bd14e87cca667dd7e3b2bca94e660c5ef
This book is good for readers who like quirky characters, light mystery elements, always another secret, found family
Elevator Pitch: Floating Hotel follows the crew and guests of the Abeona, a luxury space yacht that’s fallen on hard times. Managed by a former stowaway, most of the crew has a secret or two, and the guests aren’t much better. You’ll flit between perspectives each chapter: from the former child music star front of house to the sous chef with organized crime connections back home, to the chain smoking academic who is famous for taking money to give kids As.
What Worked for Me
This book was a real treat to read. I think its bigger accomplishment is how Curtis manages the balance between the rotating points of view and a larger plot. The story starts almost as a slice-of-life story, with the biggest plot point seemingly being that the yacht isn’t raking in the money it once was under Carl’s mentor and former boss. Then slowly, starting with breadcrumbs, a much more serious story begins to unfold. A dire warning from an old friend. A rhythm that suddenly changes. And before you know it you’re neck deep in something altogether more dire than you thought. It’s a story that is most certainly not cosy considering a few of the POVs we get. It never quite hard commits to a thriller or space opera plot either though, because you’ll cut from something really dark happening to the staff movie night where folks are chilling watching illegal films the bellhop dug up from the unused portions of the ship.
The individual characters are also a delight. The book won’t be winning awards for how deep and complex they are, as each feels a bit over-exaggerated. Not quite a caricature, but close enough to one that it avoids pesky claims of realism. But each of them is interesting and fun in their own way. My particular favorite was the professor who is on the ship for an academic conference, who has a ‘takes no shit’ attitude that I truly aspire to emulate one day. And they are (generally speaking) wonderfully supportive. It’s a great example of a found family book excecuted in a way that just sings.
What Didn’t Work for Me
Honestly, precious little. I had a ton of fun with this book. I could see some people getting frustrated that it doesn’t fit neatly into any category. Like the hotel itself, the book lives in a bit of a liminal space, floating between styles and expectations right when you start to nestle in and get comfortable with the direction it’s taken.
But really, the biggest criticism I have of it is that it wasn’t transcendent. It didn’t fundamentally shift the way I envision the genre, or have prose that knocked my socks off. But if my only complaint is that it wasn’t one of the absolute best books I’ve ever read, then that’s a pretty ringing endorsement in my book.
TL:DR: this book is a real joy. It floats between genre and tone a bit, and features not-quite-realistic characters who each have their own beautiful quirks.
Bingo Squares: Criminals (HM), Dreams (HM), Multi-POV (HM), 2024, Character with a Disability (HM, Stutter)
I plan on using this for Multi-POV
Previous Reviews for this Card
Welcome to Forever - a psychedelic roller coaster of edited and fragmented memories of a dead ex-husband
Infinity Alchemist - a dark academia/romantasy hybrid with refreshing depictions of various queer identities
Someone You Can Build a Nest In - a cozy/horroromantasy mashup about a shapeshifting monster surviving being hunted and navigating first love
Cascade Failure - a firefly-esque space adventure with a focus on character relationships and found family
The Fox Wife - a quiet and reflective historical fantasy involving a fox trickster and an investigator in early-1900s China
Indian Burial Ground - a horror book focusing on Native American folklore and social issues
The Bullet Swallower - follow two generations (a bandit and an actor) of a semi-cursed family in a wonderful marriage between Western and Magical Realism

I’m enjoying them both so much!
These are my second and third pens, and my first gold nibs. One was a birthday present from my husband, and the other was a birthday present from myself.
The Pilot 823 WA is so smooth and writes very well at my steep writing angle. I was worried it would be too heavy, but it feels fine after a few pages of continuous writing. I can certainly feel the nib’s quality- it feels slightly soft and gentle on the paper. This nib is a real winner, and I expect it will become the standard that I judge all other smooth nibs by. The barrel looks like it will be difficult to clean; I expect I will fill this with one colour only, and stick with it to avoid cleaning. The ordering process was straightforward. Tokyo Quill Shop Pen replied to my quote request email within a day, advised they had it in stock, then after I paid via PayPal they shipped the pen the next day, and it arrived in Australia less than a week later.
The Sailor PG EF definitely has that famed toothy, pencil-like feedback, which will take some getting used to, but I love the colour, how light the pen is, and how incredibly thin the line is. The pencil-like feedback allows me to write softly without losing grip on the page. The two-tone nib is stunning. I got this second-hand, and it’s in perfect condition. I have only dip-tested it so far, but it wrote pleasantly and reliably at my high writing angle, and one dip was enough to transcribe a whole poem (I think it was Ozymandias).
While this is incredibly subjective, I think Sailor make the prettiest pens, and Pilot make the best writers. I’ve certainly got my eye on some other Pro Gear colours for a future birthday, and maybe an 823 PO nib too.