Monterrey Mexico 1994, there a CE-5 contact team attracted a large craft which hovered on a mountainside. A blinding beam of light emanated from the UFO and the silhouettes of beings could be seen moving in front of the beam.

Shari Adamiak was a dedicated, disciplined volunteer contact worker who I had the honor to serve with as a fellow CE-5 Working Group Coordinator from 1992 till 1998. I honor her memory by posting her report describing an amazing encounter in Monterrey Mexico in 1994.

Prolonged telepathic exchanges reportedly occurred with two types of non-human beings, very small ones and a larger humanoid being.

Joseph Burkes MD 2024

https://preview.redd.it/3n19p6awbm0d1.jpg?width=344&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2ab154ed65a2403a5660ab1f927065c2b7016ff9
CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE FIFTH KIND IN MONTERREY,
MEXICO - DECEMBER 1994
By Shari Adamiak ©1995, Executive Director of CSETI

Introduction:
The following is an account - from my point of view - of events that occurred during a CSETI investigative team activation to Monterrey, Mexico in December of 1994. While necessarily somewhat subjective based on my own experiences, every attempt has been made to present an accurate depiction of events that were experienced by myself and our team.
CSETI Reacts to Flap in Mexico:
After seeing a tape of a "Hard Copy" program showing an active wave of UFO activity in Monterrey, Mexico - the third largest metropolis in Mexico - we made an effort to contact the researcher who had taken those videos. Santiago Yturria is a thorough researcher and skilled videographer who, along with Diana Perla Chapa, the host of a popular live talk show on Mexican network television, has had a UFO group for over 20 years in the state of Nuevo Leone.

Dr. Steven Greer, international director of CSETI, activated a CSETI Rapid Mobilization Investigative Team (RMIT) to Monterrey to investigate this current flap. Santiago, Diana, and the entire Ovni Club of N.L. assisted us, took us to sites, shared their evidence and graciously welcomed us to Monterrey. Dr. Greer, myself, a woman from New York and a man, also a videographer, from Minneapolis made up the CSETI team. (Names furnished upon request.)
Consciousness Connections:

Lucid dream activity played a significant role in the events that unfolded in Monterrey. Three of the team had dreams that proved to be portents of happenings on this project. I had a dream in the early hours of December 13th. In it, the extraterrestrials were showing us the spot where we should come in order to have a meeting with them. They showed me aerial views, in stop motion - each one closer to the ground - and marked the site with a strobing turquoise laser pattern. They showed me a view from the ground, looking up at some steep peaks, and showed it to me both in day and nighttime views. The night view revealed two stars in a particular configuration over one of the peaks.

That very afternoon, Santiago and his friends drove us to Las Mitres mountains, well known as an area of many sightings of UFOs. As we approached, it dawned on me that it was identical to what I was shown in my dream. We decided to use the spot as our field research site that night. When we came to Las Mitres (so named because the mountain peaks resemble a bishop's miter hat) that night, the two stars were indeed in the sky in the same position as I had seen in my lucid dream.

The Team Gets to Work:

The CSETI team had observed some anomalous objects in the sky at two different sites on the nights of December 11th and 12th, but the next two nights, the 13th and 14th at the Las Mitres sites, proved to be exceptional. The Las Mitres mountains contain a large cave where the local investigators believe that spacecraft conceal themselves when coming to the Monterrey area. And, unusually dense low clouds were known to form over the cave and other parts of the peaks very quickly. On the night of December 13th, the entire CSETI team set up camp at the base of Las Mitres. We were joined by an American woman who was a friend of one of our teammates, who was married to a Mexican man and living in Monterrey. She had arranged our lodging and transportation for us.

Around 10:30 pm, following our first Coherent Thought Sequencing (a CSETI protocol) session, we observed a very bright light that appeared in the zenith of the sky, traveling rapidly in an upward arc that terminated in the center of the constellation Orion. At 10:45 pm, very dense clouds materialized within a minute on parts of the sheer mountain cliffs.
The Close Encounters Begin:

At approximately 1:00 am, Dr. Greer and another team member were standing slightly down the gravel road when they observed a bright, strobe-like white light to appear at the edge of the mountain. At about the same time, I had gotten up and walked closer towards the brush at the base of the mountain. Dr. Greer looked for me to tell me of the strobe light and found me at the spot where it had appeared. As we stood there, another round light came rolling down the side of the steep slope. Just then, I felt some invisible energy that felt as if it were gently pulling me in deeper to the brush. Both Dr. Greer and I felt there was a presence nearby that, from past experience, led us to feel there was a spacecraft and extraterrestrial beings very nearby.

Just then, I began to perceive small, square-shouldered beings in the brush around us. They could be sensed and dimly seen, but a clear view of them wasn't possible. The little beings were extremely shy and reticent. They would scurry close to us, then backtrack quickly into the brush. We could not hear any brush moving or footsteps but we could dimly see them. To me, they seemed to have on uniforms that covered their body and legs that were a dull orange-rust color. They were very short, just up to my knees (I am 5'7"). I became aware of a telepathic message - they were concerned about our video camera, behind me to the right. I turned my head and looked. Sure enough, unknown to me previously as I had not seen it in the dark, was our teammate's professional camera set up on a tripod. I send back the mental message to them not to worry, the camera wasn't on and we wouldn't let him touch it. They seemed to trust my assurance, as the event continued to unfold. I related this two-way communication to Dr. Greer, who went back to the other three people and instructed them to stay where they were unless he called them forward.

These rich, rare exchanges with what appear to be extraterrestrial life forms are very delicate scenarios. Any sudden, rash or extreme emotion or movement can thwart the entire event and bring it to a screeching halt, and the extraterrestrials vanish. Sometimes our second-guessing of what is needed to allow an event to unfold in all its possible fullness is accurate; sometimes it is not. It is almost like hesitant dance partners, longing but afraid to get closer. Until we as a people are more accepting of close contact with extraterrestrials, our interactions are likely to continue in this way.

I could mentally 'hear' concerned conversation going on amongst the small beings. They eventually conveyed to me the message, again mentally, that they were having difficulty adjusting our energies in preparation for a meeting because my physical energy was concentrated on my stomach, trying to digest some food. Just before all this began, I had eaten about a half of a Power Bar, a dense protein energy food. It was cold and hard from being in my gear bag for hours and I could feel it kind of just laying in my stomach. At this point, I sent a very deliberate message to the life forms: "I give you permission to take it out of my body". Suddenly, I felt as if someone were standing some distance away with a fishing line whose hook was inside my stomach. It felt as if someone were slowing reeling in the line as the food came back out the way it went in. Now, I detest vomiting more than almost anything and I was struck by the gentleness that was used in removing this food from my body. It was only mildly unpleasant. Dr. Greer, an emergency physician, asked me if I was alright. I told him that I was fine and that this was being done with my permission. After this little purging, the energy felt softer, with less intense vibration.

Soon the little beings sent both Dr. Greer and I the message that if we removed our glasses, we would be able to see them better. Although I normally use contact lenses, glasses are preferable for field work when wind and dust often get blown into my eyes, plus the fact that we are often in the field until the wee hours of the morning. After receiving this message, we each removed our glasses. One last request from the little ETs - that we remove our hats (it had been a chilly night.) At this point, I could actually feel a harmonious flow of energy between us, the little beings, and some other unseen source.

Another Being is Perceived:

At this point, the small life forms disappeared. Shafts of golden light began to come from an unknown, unseen source and lay across the bushes in front of us. We learned later that the three other team members behind us could see this as well, although they had not been able to perceive the small beings. I could feel one of these shafts of light approach me and fill my torso with a warm, golden glow. After the light rays faded, a large oval of bluish fog began to form about ten feet in front of us. As the blue mist began to coalesce, Dr. Greer and I became aware of a being within it. Although again we could see him only dimly, he appeared very humanoid, tall, with long and straight silverish hair. He appeared to be clothed in a light blue and silver uniform.

We learned later that one team member saw a tendril of the blue fog travel along the ground towards her. It frightened her a little until the mist reached her foot and began to send wisps around her feet. She later told us that there was a gentle kindness about the fog and all misgivings vanished. However, our American friend who was not an actual team member became very frightened by the golden light and blue fog.

We learned later that it was all too much for her - something the extraterrestrial would tell us. For as we stood there facing one another, the tall being sent us a message that they would very much like to manifest more fully in the physical to meet with us, but that if they did so, one of our team members would be dangerously frightened. Their caution and concern were touching. And a far cry from the crying wolf that goes on so often when extraterrestrials are said to be heartless, devoid of feeling, and out to harm human beings. We in CSETI feel that this type of encounter points up the absolute need and appropriateness of doing real-time field work in our efforts to learn exactly what these beings are all about.

It is important, and interesting, to note that both Dr. Greer and myself received nearly identical mental messages each time there was a communication from the extraterrestrial.

Dr. Greer and I consulted one another and decided to send a joint message. We told the tall being that if they could not come to us, it was okay with us if they could take us to where they were. We could sense this was being discussed with a 'central command control', or his more senior team members. Dr. Greer and I saw a copper-gold sphere, ten to twelve feet in diameter, begin to coalesce to the left of the tall being. It never reached material solidity but soon began to disperse. The tall being then sent us a message that it would frighten our teammates just as much to see us disappear in front of their eyes as it would for the ETs to manifest right there. At this time, we had no idea that any member of our team was having difficulty coping with these events.
Soon Again, Soon Again:

Finally, after what seemed like a few moments, the tall being sent us a message that they would not be able to manifest fully in the physical this night. But they sent a message: "soon again; soon again". At this point, Dr. Greer went back to speak with the other team members and I stayed put. For the next five minutes, the being and I exchanged blessings to each other, to our teams. It was poignant and lovely. I cannot recall any of the actual 'words' or specific communications; it was not a left-brained exchange, but was beyond the bounds of linear thought.

Their Reluctance is Proven Out:

When I joined the others, I learned that our American friend had become extremely frightened, so much so that she had taken refuge in our vehicle. We had designated the big Suburban as the 'safe area". We do this on all our field research - setting aside a specific enclosure that any team member can go to if unfolding events prove fearful to them. In fact, it is our policy to send a 'buddy' along, who remains with them the entire time they wish to stay in the safe area. We divide into buddies at the beginning of our field session so that each team member is accounted for, and accountable, at all times. She told us that if she had seen anything more from the ETs, she would have run screaming down the mountainside.

Preparation is Key:

Her reactions impressed upon us the importance of training for each team member. It served as a strong reminder to us to be more stringent in adherence to our policies regarding untrained guests who wanted to join our field work. Much to my surprise, Dr. Greer and I learned from our teammates that we had been standing there, exchanging communication with the extraterrestrials, for nearly two hours. We both thought no more than thirty minutes had elapsed. By this time, it was nearly 3:00 am, so we broke camp and went home.

The Encounters Continue:

The following day was a busy one with an appearance on Diana Chapa's live TV show in the morning, a field trip to another site in the afternoon, and a talk at the Ovni Club that evening. It was about 11:30 pm by the time we were driving up the narrow road to our Las Mitres site. Interestingly, our videographer teammate was absent from field work. He had decided to stay in the city to visit his friend and her son. As the Suburban headed up the gravel lane, Dr. Greer and I simultaneously observed a small, bright light on the side of Las Mitres. We knew from the previous night that there was no light normally in that area. Tonight we also had with us our American friend's Mexican husband. He and our driver assured us there were no houses, no power lines, no roads, nothing on the sheer cliffs of Las Mitres.

As we came to the base of the mountain, Dr. Greer jumped from the Suburban while it was still rolling. The other woman and I jumped out and grabbed the bare necessities of field gear: a 500,000-candle power portable halogen light, our night vision scope, binoculars, a small camcorder, and a hand-held micro-cassette recorder.

Because of the reaction by an untrained participant the previous night, we sent our driver and his friend down the road. We told them we could not afford any panic this night. Unbeknownst to us at the time, the men went to a spot at the bottom of the road where they could clearly see the events that unfolded.

Are We in a Spielberg Movie?:

Dr. Greer grabbed the halogen light and sent a signal to the star-like light on the hillside. Instantly, the light transformed into a gigantic, brilliant round beam that shot light down the entire mountainside! We were astonished. It came close to being the time we always joke about - when events are so incredible that we'll wish we had on "Depends" undergarments! We continued to have a Close Encounter of the Fifth Kind - a human-initiated or human-interactive experience - with this craft for the next two hours and fifteen minutes. An exchange like this, with a team in the field, is unprecedented. During the lengthy encounter, we sent light signals to the craft. The craft would signal back to us in the exact same sequence. Then its lights would extinguish. Within a few minutes, it would again illuminate and initiate a signal to us. This went on and on. Twice during this time period, we saw the shadows of beings walking in front of the blinding beam. At times, the beam would rotate upon itself, appearing to the left of its original position - then back where it was. Once the light seemed to turn over on itself, illuminating the sparsely forested slope behind it. This was one of the times when figures were seen to move in the beam.

Hoaxability Ration - Low to Zero:

It must be emphasized that this is a very remote area devoid of roads. For anyone to have hoaxed this event would have required something on the scale of a major motion picture crew. There was simply no way to have moved equipment like this onto these sheer slopes. It would have caused quite a commotion in the suburbs below if a crew of that magnitude had traversed those sheer cliffs that day. The area would have been swarming with lookie-loos. At the end of the two hours and fifteen minutes, the light, which by now had split into two candle-flame colored round lights, turned to brilliant red, shot out a lightning bolt of energy and vanished. We saw a golden streak shoot through the sky towards the direction of the ancient volcano, Topochico. And the energy was gone. It was not until this point that we fully appreciated that
1) we'd been standing up for all that time, and
2) our hair had stood on end the entire time.

As a side note, I want to report that when we first got out of the vehicle at the base of the mountain, I heard crickets chirping in stereophonic synchronicity. One would chirp on our right, then one would chirp on our left. The chirping was loud and distinct. When I heard it, I told my teammates that it was significant. I had heard similar chirping prior to another major encounter in the past. It was moments later that the gigantic craft illuminated before us.

Eventful Trip Home:

We signaled to our drivers to bring up the Suburban. When they arrived, we learned that the men had gone to a vantage point and had seen everything, giving us two independent witnesses. In fact, from their extra distance the light was not so blinding and they were able to discern the craft. They both reported seeing a very large disc-shaped craft with a domed top. The men were extremely excited. They said they felt bonded now, like brothers. The American's husband said that his life would never be the same again.

As we were riding on our 30-minute drive home, Dr. Greer remarked that he felt the ETs would follow us. Within a minute, the man in front was exclaiming, "la luz, la luz!" (the light, the light!) We could then see that the gigantic light was visible from the road, showing itself to us on the opposite side of the mountain from where it had been at our field site! We stopped at a closed gas station, signaled and videoed (which came out fuzzy and blurred). You will recall that, of all nights, our videographer was not with us this night. Coincidence or orchestrated by the ETs? So many such things happen that we have to ponder the possibility. This time, the light was not appearing as two lights side by side. Instead, they were two lights stacked one on top the other. We continued to observe it on the remainder of the homeward ride, stopping twice more to observe.

When we arrived home, we climbed up to our flat roof. We could still see it, even though the entire valley of the city of Monterrey was now between us, the back side of Las Mitres and the rest of the range. The lights were still there. They had changed position again and were now staggered, one atop the other. They had been so bright that we could see the rock face behind it illuminated. As we watched, the lights dimmed down to about half their luminosity.

The Craft Revealed:

At this point, we could clearly see the structure of the craft. It was indeed a large disc with a sloped dome on top. By measuring with fingers at arm's length, Dr. Greer determined that the craft was between one-half to one full city block in size. As the birds began to sing and the sky began to lighten, we bid goodbye and heartfelt thanks to our visitors for these remarkable experiences and went inside to sleep, and dream of them.

Shari Adamiak, Executive Director, CSETI ________________________

Final Notes:

I wish to advise that the three persons who interacted with the craft as described above included three very responsible and stable individuals. Dr. Greer is a practicing trauma physician, father of four, world-renowned expert on extraterrestrial intelligence. He is the founder of CSETI, and the visionary and guiding force of it. Our teammate from New York is cofounder of a research foundation and is personal friends with world leaders in both the political and private sectors. And I myself have been educated in the sciences and the law and worked for many years as a paralegal, which gives me a logical mind upon which to base my ongoing extraterrestrial experiences. - Shari Adamiak

I describe how I first met Shari in 1992. It was an experience that I will never forget:
https://contactunderground.wordpress.com/2022/03/05/i-meet-shari-adamiak-the-first-ce-5-working-group-coordinato

Hi everyone! First post to the community- I’m happy to say that I finally got the courage to join. This post took almost 2 months to muster up as I couldn’t even stand writing about this- but here I go.
I lost my Aussie that I grew up with for almost 20 years in August of 22’ and it feels like I will never get over the loss of her. She was my absolute best friend in the whole world. Now- many people say their dog is their best friend. But, let me give you some context…
I was an only child, and my first memory was my mom taking me to a ranch to pick out my very first puppy. Out of the 25 puppies that flocked out of the barn doors, only one ran up to my feet with a small tennis ball in tow. I knew she was the one for me then and there- She chose me, so I chose her.
She tolerated my youth ear and nub pulling phase, my games of Hannah Montana dress up, solo concerts, throwing myself from the highest bunk bed and playing lassie, playing vet, and eventual subsequent makeshift agility courses that I set up with bar stools and pop-up tunnels when I turned 10-11. Never once did she shy away from this, almost participating with joy in every moment we spent together.
I was an only child so you can imagine how lonely I was, (Many people don’t have this experience as an only child, but it was mine-) Growing up with a single mom that had an addiction- most of the time it was just me and my dog, and we had to fend for ourselves most nights.
She was there for me after I was SAed when I was 7- unable to communicate what had happened to anyone but her in fear of embarrassment or shame, but I could talk to her- she’d listen to me with nothing but sympathy in those big blue eyes of hers. She was with me when we lost our apartment, moving back in with my grandmother who blatantly hated me because I wasn’t fully white like her other grandchildren. She was with me when I contemplated calling the cops on my mother when she was passed out on the floor of the bathroom and I couldn’t wake her up and I thought she was dead. She was there for me when I was bullied in school for being overweight, unable to eat most healthy things because I was making my own meals most nights. She was there when I got into my preferred high school program that was over an hour away from home, waking me up with a wagging tail despite knowing I’d have to leave at 4am to catch a bus and wouldn’t return until later that night. She was there when I got together with my now fiancé, accepting him into the family as long as he tossed the ball for her a few times- as a lover of football, it was easy to get him to play with her for hours, which she adored. She was there for me when my fiancé and I moved into a small shed away from home, no a/c, no bathroom, no running water, she tagged along happily in the tight living quarters. She comforted me when I found out my grandfather had dementia and he was declining quickly, she whimpered when I cried that we’d have to return to my abusive grandmothers house to take care of him- knowing I’m subjecting myself to a world of pain to care for the one person who was always kind to me. She mediated my fights with my mother, as we ended up arguing most nights about her addiction and how it has affected me in my life.
Despite how many hardships I went through, and how many times I couldn’t find the courage to get out of bed in the morning- she always kept me going. Knowing that someone had stuck by me through my whole life and didn’t even have a thought of leaving my side, made me feel wanted in life.
Not long after I turned 18 years old, she became unable to control her bladder. Many suggested I put her down due to it being an ‘inconvenience’ but I refused- she had so much left to give, and I didn’t mind cleaning up after her mess despite how the tile ended up stained and how much we spent on diapers she’d only kick off moments after putting them on. No one knew how little I cared to be covered in pet urine as long as I got to embrace my dog that cared for me for so long.
When I turned 19, she couldn’t hold her poop anymore, doing her business anywhere and everywhere. I didn’t care, I cleaned it up. She was still my best friend, she took care of me- so I’ll take care of her. She then lost her ability to hear me, so I spoke louder. What’s wrong with screaming ‘I love you’ to a dog that got so excited whenever you said it? If anything it helped me express myself louder than usual, as I am a quiet person. A few months later, she couldn’t play ball as much as she wanted to, getting winded by her arthritis and aging lungs. Then on my 21st birthday, she lost the ability to use her hind legs. I didn’t care, I started looking up dog wheelchairs- because why not? She was still a puppy in my eyes, she had so much time left despite nearing 20 years old. My fiancé warned me that the time may be near, but I ignored him. She’d never die. She couldn’t. She’d live forever. I flipped her position few times a day, fed and watered her, gave her tons of treats, Carried her inside and outside to enjoy the sun. Anything I could do that I knew would lift her spirits.
But 2 weeks after my 21st birthday, I woke up to her whining. Not unusual, since she couldn’t sleep in bed with us anymore and had to sleep at the foot of our bed on a large pillow, but this time I heard a thud. Creeping to the edge of the bed I was met with the most horrifying sight- she was seizing. I jumped off the bed, cradling her as I tried to keep her from throwing herself off of her pillow and hitting her head. My fiancé watched in silence, but he didn’t dare suggest she was getting close to passing, as it had caused fights between us before. I REFUSED to believe my best friend was dying, it had to be a one time thing… Right?
We got maybe a few hour break before it happened again, then again… I had to make the call. She hated the vet, I couldn’t bring her there. I scoured the internet for hours, trying to find a Vet that does home visits. I made an appointment for the morning. Despite the lady driving out and taking one look at my beautiful Aussie and sighing, I immediately asked her if she can pull through this, If there was an alternative, ANYTHING to keep her from leaving my side. My fiancé put his hand on my shoulder, offering what little comfort he thought I could get from what the Vet said next. There was no hope. No enticing her to eat with pieces of sliced cheese, no magical medication to cure her, no quality of life that I could give to a dog so determined to keep living. I didn’t cry, I still held hope, even when the Vet injected her with medication to make her sleep before the final injection. I felt her relax into my arms, so I thought just maybe that would help her sleep it off. But once the lady held up the syringe with the bright pink liquid, I couldn’t stop staring at it. She asked me only once if I was ready, and I said yes immediately- blind to the thought that this would be the last time I would get to hold her warmth. She proceeded slowly, and in the moment I felt no fear- as I thought “She’s too strong for this shot, she’ll pop back up in no time afterwards with a new vigor for life! I’ll prove them all wrong!”… I didn’t know what was to come. Her chest stopped rising, and her nose began to grow cold. I don’t know how many hours I sat by her body waiting for her to wake up. I don’t remember my fiancé leaving the room to pay her for her kind service, I don’t remember him suggesting we bury her before she grew stiff, I don’t remember anything other than her blank stare that never left the vacant space of the wall. It took until later that night for us to start digging, and once we were done, I kept glancing at her body in hopes that she may have changed her mind, that she’d come back to me. It was just a cruel game.
Laying her down in her final resting place, i scowled at the flies that soon began to circle around us. How could they disturb us?! She clearly wasn’t dead…. Just, recovering. But after my fiancé filled the grave, and I dug a tiny hole for her to breath through if she decided to come back. It finally hit me. She was gone. For the first time in my life I was truly alone. I cradled her harness, her tennis ball, my childhood picture of me holding her up to the camera in my stubby arms- and I waited by her grave. I couldn’t leave.
I truly don’t remember much afterwards, other than the empty sorrow that built in my chest- since it never left. I could never love again. Not another person, not another dog. My fiancé saw the change in me, I never left the bed, I didn’t shower, I didn’t eat. I lost 60 pounds. I didn’t care, I just wanted my best friend.
Fast forward to March of 23’ when I found out I was pregnant. First there was an insurmountable joy that I’d now have purpose in life, but then the same ache hit in my chest that I felt the day my best friend died. My sweet Aussie would never get to see me become a mother, she’d never get to see me be married, she’d never get to raise my child as she raised me. The things I always thought she’d be there for, she would never get to see.
I’m 5 months into being a mother now, and still grieving. We’ve thought of getting another dog, but I couldn’t stand even looking at another puppy. I didn’t have the capacity in my heart to go through this again. But will I neglect my own child of feeling this kind of bond with a pet? Of love that is unmatched by a dog companion? Will I continue to neglect my fiancés love for animals due to my fear of my Aussie looking down from wherever she is and feeling betrayed that I replaced her? I’m rambling at this point, but god it’s been so hard. I miss her so much. She was my everything. Even now I struggle with the thought that I could love my baby just as much as I loved my dear Aussie. Is that even normal? It’s been almost 2 years, and I still feel empty.
Despite this post being very self-loathing, I just wanted to get my feelings out and find some peace that anyone else has felt this way. Is it just me? Will this ever go away? Senior dog owners, will this pain ever pass? 🥲
Sincerely,
A girl who misses her best friend. I love you P. 💔

Hey folks, years ago I bought a Mac pro for music production only. While I’m decently proficient in LPX, I’m a complete ignoramus when it comes to general Mac stuff. So much so that I’ve been to scared to ever upgrade the OS from the Mojave it came with…
I do podcast soundtracks, jingles for local ads, etc and the combo of this Mac & LPX has never let me down… but with LPXI out, I’m curious about upgrading to that which would require Ventura.
I’ve attached the ‘about my Mac’ specs… Is it possible to upgrade this machine from Mojave or is it time to retire my 50lb friend? :(
If more info is needed to know, I can prolly find the emails and deeper specs from the eBay shop that did the build way back.
Even if it requires changing out some components I’m open to it. She’s been good to me lol.
Thanks for any help anyone can offer.

(Very long post...)
People have told me that they enjoy these sorts of comparisons between the English and Japanese versions of FEH's story and character writing, so I thought to make a post about Freyr and Freyja, who are some of my favourite characters from this game. This was sparked by discussions I've had with friends about how Freyja really feels about her brother. Though she's well known for her love for him, it seems some people adamantly contest whether her feelings are romantic and/or sexual in nature.
It may seem arbitrary, but I quite like taking a closer look at FEH OCs, who are commonly brushed off as shallow and inferior to "main series characters". This doubled with an interest in localization changes, which I enjoy sharing with those who may be unfamiliar with the original Japanese version of media like FEH, inspired me to investigate this topic. It's not rare for FEH's English version to change or tone things down, after all (and from what I can tell, Book IV was hit the hardest), so I wanted to really look into how differently the ENG and JP versions handle Freyja's infamous brother-loving tendencies.
While in my eyes, it's rather apparent that Freyja is yet another case of a long-held Fire Emblem tradition, this post is not intended for me to preach my own perspective. I will instead attempt to provide a balanced perspective and just do my best to compile anything that might provide insight into Freyja's feelings toward him, along with their relationship in general, and compare it with the Japanese version, especially if there are differences. Is it more explicit, confirmed, refuted, or otherwise? Without further ado, let us see.
(Disclaimer: I am not a native Japanese speaker, nor am I fluent in the language. Japanese and English are very different languages, so when translating, I will attempt to do so as faithfully as I can while making it flow more naturally in English.)
From Book IV's Story
(For the sake of efficiency, only the relevant parts of each interaction will be included.)
Freyja's first appearance (albeit without art) in the main story is in Book IV Chapter 4 - 5, where it is immediately established that she holds very strong feelings for her brother, wishing to have his affection and attention all to herself and being envious of mortals for receiving it instead of her.
[ENG] Freyja: It has been so long, Brother...and this is how you greet me, your beloved sister? Freyr: I will ask once more, Freyja... What are you doing here? Freyja: The world is just so dull without you, Brother. You should come to my world... Come with me, to Dökkálfheimr. [...] Freyr: Stop this, Freyja. Mortals should be given pleasant things... All living things deserve so much. Freyja: It's sickening how highly you think of them. Unfortunate such adoration only strengthens my resolve. [...] I alone am worthy of your love, your admiration...your gifts...ANY of it! I will not be made a FOOL by some pitiful beast that can barely manage to control its most base impulses! [...] I can think of no gift more suitable for those who would steal from me my brother's attentions... Suffering!
[JP Translated] Freyja: ...Long time no see, Brother. Freyr: Freyja... Why have you come here? Freyja: Because a world without you is dull, Brother. I will have you come to my world...to Dökkálfheimr. [...] Freyr: Stop this, Freyja. Mortals should live happy lives... Freyja: ...As always, you think of mortals. I am envious. [...] Aah, unforgivable. Unforgivable... To think my brother's love lies with humans... [...] It is time you receive your comeuppance for stealing my brother's heart, mortals...
She's a lot more animated in the English version, eh. The next relevant story segment is Chapter 9 - 3, where they speak with each other once more, and again Freyja expresses her jealousy:
[ENG] Freyja: Ever the stubborn one, Brother. Always concerned with the mortals, but never with me... But this necklace will surely change your mind...isn't that right?
[JP Translated] Freyja: ...You never change, Brother. Always [thinking about] mortals, and never me... Aah...aaah... But, if you wear this necklace...surely you will look at me... Right?
Minimal difference here. Next up is Chapter 9 - 5, which presents nothing we don't already know, but I thought to include it regardless.
[ENG] Freyja: Where is the fun in allowing you such an easy, painless end. Surely thieves who sought to steal my brother's heart deserve a proper amount of punishment...
[JP Translated] Freyja: But, hey. I won't allow you have such an easy ending. Not until after I tease the thieves who stole my brother's heart plenty more...
Next, we get to hear crucial information from Freyr in Chapter 10 - 1:
[ENG] Freyr: I comforted her... But soon she smiled for me alone. Then...having grown, she began to speak of never parting...of wanting to be ever in my gentle presence... [...] Before long, Freyja's beauty blossomed... Many sought to court her, but she allowed none to woo her... For this, too, I am no doubt to blame.
[JP Translated] Freyr: After I gave her words of consolation...my sister began to only show her smile to me. And then...she said that one day, when she grew up, she would like to [marry] someone who is compassionate like me... [...] Eventually, Freyja grew so beautiful that she could steal anyone's heart... Many people asked for her hand in marriage, but she didn't accept anyone's affections... I suppose that is also my sin...
This is one of the most damning pieces of evidence against Freyja's love for Freyr being non-romantic. However, for the sake of the argument, Freyr's words can be interpreted in two ways. On the one hand, Occam's Razor suggests that Freyja refusing courtship from others indicates that she's only interested in Freyr and no one else. On the other hand, it could be that because she was rejected by everyone except Freyr in her childhood, that trauma bred enough resentment within her to where she in turn rejects everyone but her brother, who always stood by her. They're not mutually exclusive by any means, but the first interpretation outright affirms the romantic nature of Freyja's love for Freyr, whereas the second focuses on how Freyja views people besides Freyr and leaves how she feels about him more vague.
As for Freyr's last line about it being his fault, it can also be read in two ways. Applying Occam's Razor again, Freyr could be saying that Freyja rejected everyone who sought to marry her because she wished to be with him instead. However, taking into consideration what we know about Freyr, he has a tendency to feel immense guilt, regretting turning children into álfar and apologizing for Freyja's antics on her behalf. One might see this as just another instance of him placing too much blame on himself. He is also merely speaking from his perspective and may very well not have a complete grasp on what Freyja thinks, so compared to evidence straight from the horse's (well, goat's) mouth, his words might not hold as much weight.
At the end of the same chapter, we get another important scene in the form of Freyr's death. In their final moments together, they exchange these words:
[ENG] Freyja: Brother, no! If you die, I— Are they...truly so dear to you as this? Freyr: Nothing has ever been more important...than you, Freyja. But as long as I am with you, the mortals will suffer...until you finally destroy them. I could not bear to see you become that... So, for your sake... Goodbye...Sister... Freyja: Brother... NOOOOO! [...] ...UuuuaaaAAAGGGHHH!! No... Not like this... This is not... This is not what I wanted... I just...wanted you to smile at me again, Brother... I just wanted to feel loved again... And now... All my hopes...all my...rrrraaaAAAGGGHHH!
[JP Translation] Freyja: Stop it, Brother! Without you, I...! Are mortals truly so...so important to you...? Freyr: To me...you, Freyja, are more important than anything. Perhaps because of what we work as gods...so long as I exist, you will bring calamity upon mortals...until you eventually destroy them all... I love you... And because I do, I do not wish to see you become that... So...for your sake...it is better that I disappear. Goodbye, Sister... ... Freyja: NOOOOO! Brother...Bro...ther... [...] Ah...aah...aaaaah... I didn't... I didn't...wish for this... I just...wanted you to look at me... I just wanted you to love me... And yet...aah...aaah...AAAAAAAAAAAH!
Both versions convey similar things, and it again doesn't establish anything we didn't know already. The next relevant moment comes in Chapter 11 - 3, after Freyja sends Plumeria to stop us:
[ENG] Freyja: Fight, little álfar... Fight to the death. Feel the pain of lost love—the pain I felt when my brother was taken from me...
[JP Translation] Freyja: Kill each other, álfar... You shall also feel the pain, the sorrow...that I felt when I lost my brother.
The word 'love' is only present in the English version here. Next comes before we fight her at the end of the chapter:
[ENG] Freyja: Do not worry. I will not end your lives right away. If I did, the pain...the loss...of my brother would— RrrraaaAAAGGGHHH! Brother! Why?! How could you! After everything! ...AAAHHH!
[JP Translated] Freyja: It's alright, I won't kill you right away. If I don't do that, the pain and grief...of losing my brother would... Aah...aah...AAAAH! Brother...why...AAAAAH!
Another scene with minimal differences between languages, though she's once again more dramatic in the English version. It isn't until Chapter 13 - 3 that Freyja's feelings toward Freyr are addressed again:
[ENG] Freyja: Triandra, tell m— ... ...Isn't that something. With my life, Triandra and Plumeria could... No. None of that matters. The only thing that matters is my brother. Him and him alone. None of that matters...
[JP Translated] Freyja: Triandra, wh... ... ...That's right. Because of my orders, Triandra...and Plumeria...are also... ...That doesn't matter. My brother is all that is precious to me, after all. ...Yes. That doesn't matter...
Yet again, they say functionally the same thing. Now, why did I include the bit about Triandra and Plumeria when they aren't relevant to this topic? Please humour me as I momentarily derail this dissertation to have a nerd moment. See how in the ENG version, Freyja mentions her life, whereas in the JP version, she talks about the commands she gave them. The Japanese word for 'order' is '命令' and the word for 'life' is '命'. Notice how the latter is present in the former? I believe this may have been an oversight by the translators who didn't see the second character of 'order' and thought Freyja said 'life', leading to the discrepancy between versions.
As some have noted, a similar mistake likely occurred in the translation of Book VII's Chapter 7 - 3, where the ENG version initially stated that Nerþuz is Freyr and Freyja's mother when she is supposed to be their aunt. The Japanese word for 'aunt' is '叔母', which incorporates the word for 'mother', '母', so the error could have sprung from overlooking the '叔'. As you may know, this was rectified in a later patch. However, the discrepancy in Freyja's aforementioned line remains untouched, likely because it still works (and serves as a healthy amount of foreshadowing for the finale).
Speaking of which, let's get back on track. At the end of Book IV, Freyja has these words to offer about her brother as she is about to enter her vegetative coma:
[ENG] Freyja: Triandra. Plumeria... I loved my brother—and only him. He was everything to me. I never loved you, because only my brother meant anything to me. [...] I never understood my brother, why he loved humans, why he would throw his life away... [...] I will never understand this. My brother alone meant anything to me, and yet, even still...with you two, here...now... You've made me...smile.
[JP Translated] Freyja: Hey, Triandra...Plumeria... I loved my brother...him alone. [He] was everything to me. I never loved you... Because to me, nothing but my brother held any value. [...] I was never able to understand my brother's heart... Why he cherished mortals... Why he would throw his life away for someone else... [...] ... ...I don't understand. Even though... Even though nothing matters to me besides my brother... ...I am glad...
Negligible difference here. And so ends what we can glean from Book IV of the main story.
From Paralogue 61: Summer's Dream
As far as I can recall, this is the only Paralogue with anything remotely relevant to this debate. Even then, it's only about Freyja's personal growth and not so much about their relationship:
[ENG] Freyja: [...] Perhaps if I wear the clothing of mortals, and learn more about their ways... There's a chance I will learn to understand my brother and his love for such creatures.
[JP Translated] Freyja: [...] If I wear the clothing of mortals, and learn about their ways...perhaps I will be able to understand my brother's heart.
Indeed, post-Book IV Freyja (story-wise) is much more mellow and open-minded due to her world no longer being limited to just her brother. She doesn't, to my knowledge, even talk about Freyr at all in Paralogue 83: Spring Eternal, or the entire Nihility & Dream Tempest Trials+ story. Seeing as no new insight can be gathered from supplementary story segments, let's just end this short section off with their little conversation at the end of the summer Paralogue for curiosity's sake:
[ENG] Plumeria: Dream-King Freyr, what do you think of Lady Freyja's new flower? It suits her well, don't you think? Freyr: Yes... It is...truly beautiful. Freyja: Oh, Brother, you are too kind...
[JP Translated] Plumeria: Lord Freyr, please look at Lady Freyja. Her flower ornament really suits her. Freyr: Yes, it's beautiful. Freyja: Brother...
The English version is a tad 'fluffier', so to speak. Nothing notable, but this is Freyja's last canon interaction with Freyr, so it may be remiss to exclude it.
From Unit Dialogue and Descriptions
Now let's see what information our playable units can provide us with. The amount of dialogue other characters have commenting on Freyr and Freyja's relationship is quite sparse, so this will nearly all be from Freyr and Freyja's various playable iterations. I will tackle all relevant lines starting with Base Freyja's voice lines:
[ENG] "Ah! Unforgivable! You're not Freyr."
[JP Translated] "Ah?! U-unacceptable... Only my brother is permitted to touch me."
Japanese is more on the nose with this one, but it's nothing compared to this next line:
[ENG] "The love my brother and I feel is deeper than most siblings..."
[JP Translated] "My brother and I require a deeper love between us, different than that of a sibling bond."
It's a pretty clunky line to translate, but I tried to retain as much detail and nuance as possible. The most literal translation I can come up with is "For me and my brother, not the bond between siblings, but a deeper love, is needed." This is another pretty incriminating line, so to speak, since she specifies that what she feels they require is not the love between brother and sister. As for what she could possibly be referring to...come to what conclusions you will.
Now let's quickly run through her remaining relevant voice lines:
[ENG] "Since the day Freyr rebuffed me, I have made the realm of nightmares my home." "Why, Freyr? My love for you... Why?" "You resemble him not one iota. So tell me...why do I care?"
[JP Translated] "Since the day my brother rejected me...I have resided in the realm of nightmares." "Aah, Brother...even though I love you so..." "You are someone who is nothing like my brother... Yet, why..."
Nothing much of note. Next, Base Freyja's castle quotes:
[ENG] "I detest mortals... If not for them, I would still be at my brother's side." "When I was young, I was tormented for the way I looked. Only my brother was ever kind to me... Only he showed me love." "You've interrupted my reminiscence. What is it that you want?"
[JP Translated] "I hate humans... They stole my brother's heart, after all..." "When I was young, unsightly as a pig...only my brother treated me kindly... Back then, I..." "What business do you have with me? I am preoccupied with being immersed in memories of my brother."
Quite a few liberties were taken with the ENG lines, but it's not as if much new information is revealed in them either way.
Now then, Base Freyja is the only Freyja alt that has Freyr referenced in her unit description. And lo and behold, she actually has two of them! ...In the English version, at least. It curiously differs between her enemy incarnation in the main story maps and her playable form, while the Japanese description remains consistent:
[ENG] "Queen of Dökkálfheimr, realm of nightmares. Loves her older brother Freyr dearly, raging with bitter jealousy at his care for lesser mortal creatures." (Enemy) "The queen of Dökkálfheimr, the nightmare realm. Her love for her brother Freyr drives her to wish she could stay with him no matter the cost." (Playable)
[JP Translated] "Queen of Dökkálfheimr, the realm of nightmares. Loves her brother Freyr and wishes to have all of him to herself."
It's cool how all three address different aspects of her feelings: her desire to be by his side, her possessiveness of him, and the jealousy she feels toward others. All of it stems from her love for him which, incestuous in nature or not, is evidently very unhealthy. Now let's move onto Summer Freyja's voice lines:
[ENG] "You brought me to the beach alongside my dear brother... So, you can be sensible." "I hope to enjoy the sun and sea here with my brother. *sigh* It has been so long since we've had such time together..."
[JP Translated] "[You brought] me and my brother to the sea...how considerate of you." "I want to have innocent fun with my brother again, just like when we were young..."
Like Base Freyja's castle lines, while the lines are slightly distinct between languages, they don't really provide additional insight. Freyja is being sincere and just wants to spend time with Freyr at the beach, absent any untoward intentions she may or may not have in other scenarios, so I'd say at best it's not proving anything in either direction. Next are her castle lines:
[ENG] "The steady rhythm of the waves reminds me of my gentle brother's comforting voice." "The summer sunlight glittering over the water's surface brings visions of my brother's smile to my mind..."
[JP Translated] "The gentle sound of the waves somehow reminds me of my brother's voice." "The sparkling rays of the summer sun... They surely befit my brother's smile."
Another instance where the ENG version is a bit 'fluffier', but still nothing noteworthy. Now, this is only barely relevant and also not helpful, but I'll include this line at the end of her 5 Star Lvl. 40 conversation for good measure:
[ENG] "[...] But for now, in this moment...let me sink into a dream of summer love and reflect on those days now long past."
[JP Translated] "[...] Right now, in this moment...I shall immerse myself in a dream of summer love, while recalling my brother's voice..."
She only directly references Freyr in the JP version. Now, to take a look at Spring Karla, for whom Freyja acts as a backpack and thereby gains additional dialogue. Here are the only voiced lines related to Freyr:
[ENG] Karla: Lady Freyja, did something also happen between you and your brother? Freyja: Yes. Though my experience is not one you could comprehend. Because no matter if decades or even centuries pass...the distance between us can grow no smaller.
[JP Translated] Karla: Lady Freyja, did something also happen between you and your brother? Freyja: It's not something a human like you can understand. Even if decades or centuries pass...the distance between me and my brother grows no smaller.
Nothing of note. Then there's this castle line, which doesn't offer any new information, but it's the only other line about Freyr:
[ENG] Freyja: I cannot forgive the mortals that took my brother from me. However...I will not hold it against the children enjoying this festival.
[JP Translated] Freyja: I will not forgive the mortals that stole my brother from me. However...I will not have the children enjoying the festival shoulder the blame.
That's all from Spring Karla. Now, Eitr's a tricky case, since she 1. has laser-guided amnesia, and 2. may be a manifestation of Freyja from a time before she would have developed her unhealthy obsession with her brother (seeing as she has the nose mark, she's still on the younger side). However, for completeness' sake, I'll at least include the one time where she does reference Freyr (albeit indirectly):
[ENG] "I...had a dream I...wanted to tell you about. It was a scary one, but... someone was there to save me. I don't remember their face, but they were very kind..."
[JP Translated] "[...] You see, I...had a dream. It was a very scary dream...but someone saved me. I don't remember their face, but they were a very kind person..."
As expected, it's exceedingly unhelpful and probably not admissible in court to boot, but there it is. Now then, let's turn our attention to the other party in this relationship. Here is Base Freyr's only relevant voiced line:
[ENG] "Oh, Freyja... Though I love you, I...I cannot..."
[JP Translated] "Freyja...I love you. But, that is..."
You cannot what, Freyr? That is what, Freyr? Alas, the man trails off before giving any possibly useful information. Perhaps these are the words he spoke back when he rebuffed her, but due to not finishing his sentence, we have been deprived of crucial evidence. His only other Freyja-related line is this castle quote:
[ENG] "My sister, Freyja, is...precious to me. It is my love for her that drives me to stop her from harming mortals..."
[JP Translated] "My sister Freyja is irreplaceable to me. That is precisely why I do not with to see her subject mortals to disaster..."
It's similar to what he says on his deathbed, so it's nothing we've never heard before. Moving on, besides commenting on her presence at the beach, his Summer alt only really addresses Freyja once in this voice line:
[ENG] "How long has it been since you were so untroubled, Freyja..."
[JP Translated] "Freyja... How long has it been since I last saw you smile so innocently..."
This is not to mean that Freyja now smiles at him non-innocently... In this context, it seems to me that he's talking about how unburdened and carefree Freyja is while at the beach, like a child, and he's reminiscing about how she used to be when she was young and not weighed down by as much baggage. Nothing to see here. To end off this section, Attuned Peony is, to my knowledge, the only other unit who comments on Freyr and Freyja's relationship, and even then she doesn't have much to say:
[ENG] "If anything can happen in dreams, then King Freyr and Lady Freyja may still one day find peace once more..."
[JP Translated] "If it's in a dream...surely Lord Freyr and Lady Freyja will be able to make amends (get along again).
Sometimes I wonder just how much or little the fairies know about their lieges' relationship, seeing how they barely address it, if at all. Plumeria especially I imagine would feel quite conflicted if she knew the master she served and adored held untoward desires for her brother, being the game's resident prude extraordinaire, yet she offers no input on the matter. Some take this as an indication that Freyja's feelings aren't romantic/sexual in nature, because surely Plumeria would have much to say if it indeed was, but I'm not certain that suffices as evidence, per se.
From Meet the Heroes
Now comes time to look at the Meet the Heroes entries of the sibling duo's playable versions. Starting with Base Freyja's, which by far goes into the most depth:
[ENG] "[...] Freyja was once a compassionate goddess who treasured love in all its forms. However, a childhood of ridicule left her heartbroken, making her brother Freyr her only source of affection. When Freyr chose to put the mortal world before her whims, Freyja was inconsolable, so she took to living in the realm of nightmares. Envious of Freyr’s love for the mortals, she used her own love to control them, all so Freyr’s smile would be for her alone. And that’s how Freyja came to be the queen of the realm of nightmares. Do you think that things between her and Freyr can ever be the same again?"
[JP Translated] "[...] Freyja was once the Goddess of Love who enjoyed loving and being loved by others. However, she loves her brother Freyr to the point where it exceeds the feelings siblings hold towards one another. Heartbroken after Freyr rejected those feelings, she came to live in the nightmare realm. She began to control the mortals her brother loved using her own love, wanting him to look at her... That's how Freyja came to reign as queen over the realm of nightmares. Please make amends with Freyr someday!"
Unsurprisingly (to me, at least), the Japanese version emphasizes the fact that Freyja's love for Freyr goes beyond sibling affection once again while the English version dances around it. The straightforward reading of this excerpt would be that Freyr didn't reciprocate that kind of love, which led to their falling out and long-time separation. Makes a lot of sense to me, but do share alternative interpretations if you have them. Let's see this section of Summer Freyja's entry now:
[ENG] "She also brought a really cute goat-shaped floatie along with her! Is it just me, or do I see a bit of Freyr in it? Those two really are inseparable!"
[JP Translated] "Her cute goat-shaped floatie seems to be modelled after her brother Freyr. Fitting for Freyja as a big brother's girl (like a daddy's girl or mama's boy)!"
If anything, the fact that the accompanying art for this segment depicts her kissing the floatie is more noteworthy, but it feels kind of disingenuous to use that as evidence of anything, haha. The only other entry with even vaguely useful content is Summer Freyr's:
[ENG] "[...] And what’s that in his hand? Why, it’s a cool, refreshing pineapple juice! I see it has two straws, so he must be meaning to share it with his sister, Freyja! Freyr typically looks calm and serene, but I think I can see a little smile on his face. I hope he and Freyja have a wonderful time at the beach!"
[JP Translated] "[...] The pineapple juice he holds in his hand looks delicious! I hear it has two straws so he can drink it together with his sister Freyja! Freyr is always calm, but he seems to be having more fun than usual. Please enjoy the summer sea to the fullest with Freyja!"
Just like with the floatie kiss, I don't think the fact they intend to share the same drink by using two straws is indicative of one thing or another. Merely a fun little detail.
From the Illustrations Book
Last but not least comes the currently Japanese-exclusive art book, namely the second volume, which covers Book IV (and V, but we're not talking about that right now). Naturally, as a resident Book IV fanatic, I am in possession of a copy. While it's called an illustrations book, it in fact includes things like plot and character summaries and valuable extra lore that you cannot find anywhere else. In the future, I intend to translate the notable parts of the Book IV-dedicated section for those who don't have the art book and/or cannot read Japanese, But for now, all I will include is this excerpt from the overview of the plot line "Freyja's reckless behaviour and jealousy towards humans because she desperately wanted her brother":
https://preview.redd.it/ccqtny1gnh0d1.png?width=657&format=png&auto=webp&s=43387c435f5cedcdcf537e86152a6a920537ef90
The underlined text (フレイヤは兄フロージに対して血縁者以上の感情を抱き) restates that "Freyja holds feelings for Freyr that exceed [what one feels toward] blood relatives". Once more the Japanese version is very eager to highlight this fact. Whether this art book will eventually be translated into English remains to be seen, but I wouldn't be surprised if it ends up being slightly sanitized and less forward with the incestuous undertones (or overtones, depending on your view).
And thus concludes what I have for you all today. I hope this was informative and enjoyable for those who have taken the time to read. Thank you, and please keep things civil in the comments!