Cursive side tats

Throughout the latest seeson of on cinema joey has been a thorn in greggs side. As a gregghead myself and many other gregg heads we were upset that joey was trying to uproot gregg with his own rating system and pre-record segmants. We were sending emails and letters to gregg to let him know. We thought that was the end of it al
Unfortunately on what was supposed to be an oscer special night, Joey threw greg into a wall after having his heart brocken by kaylie and his oscer knowledge snufed by Tim. After this we were on a hole new level of mad and angery at Joey for doing this. Lots of people were calling joey names in anger (and rightfuly so) like joey "peenis" or joey "poo" patreon. When the District atenrny of san diego failed to mention chagres against Joey we were even more upset. Gregg heads wanted justice for the damage done to greg that night by Joey. Joey got 0 popocorns
However after tonights joey interview there was good news. While police did not lock him up it sounds like greg got compinsation for his troubles not just for being flung at a wall but throughout the seseon of on cinema. It is unknown if joey is being troothful when hee says he didnt know who greg was but maybe gregs dumbledorf costume was just that good we dont konw it's equaley as likely. But regardl ess our Gregg resident Buff has gotten compinsation.
We dont konw the compensaition but i would lik eto extend an apology to joey for being really mean to him. Hopefully this compensiation is a cash infushion tat will keep the VFA afloat or maybe even reporen The Victorville Cinemas or a worldwide expansion of the VFA starting int Toronto, the TFA. I have emailed greg about this idea and he has told me its a great idea so maybe itll happen. Eitehr way. The future of VFA seems promizing and we have Joey to thank for that.
Also congrats to brown bill for his promotion and mr. g for his retirement hopefully the fruits of his pep boys investment in memorabilia will keep him cozy
\- Greg heads
P.s. but kylie one messaage for yoo to take home is that you were very rude and yoo need to make amends with Greg because at least Joey reeched out! At least finish a game ovf movie links.

I am looking for experiences transitioning an older primary child to Montessori from either parents or guides.
We finally moved to an area that has authentic Montessori schools, and have finally received a spot at our desired school after 1.5 years on a waitlist (August 2024 start date). He would remain in the program through upper elementary (there is no middle school option in my area), so this would not be a short term stop for him. He would start in a primary classroom and likely transition to elementary within a year due to his age.
My son has been at a regular run of the mill academic focused daycare since about 1 year old and is finishing up his “pre-k” year.
He is neurotypical, no known disabilities (although I do suspect some slight attention issues - I myself have ADHD but managed to thrive in Montessori as a child). He is empathetic, sweet, and very social (another of my concerns in switching to montessori). He is an excellent reader, loves art, and of course playing (what kid doesn’t). He is very eager to please and is used to having a lot of engagement and routine in his current / previous schools.
My question is - how do children at this age adapt to Montessori when they have been accustomed to such an extrinsic motivation system? How can I prepare him to succeed during the transition period? I am primarily concerned with his happiness at this point, I overall trust the Montessori philosophy in terms of skill/ content acquisition and we have many Montessori materials in our home.
A side question, the school we got a spot in teaches only cursive. He has worked very hard on his print writing in his current program and is rightfully very proud of his work. How should a guide approach this with him as to not discourage or put down the hard work he has already done? What should I look out for?

I loved Rebirth, and while the side quests were vastly improved they were still pretty hit or miss. Which side quests did you like/hate?
I’ve decided to review all 36 quests for some ungodly reason.
Grasslands:

• Flowers from the Hill - C
  • Kinda cute storyline, but they missed an opportunity for some Aerith backstory - idk, what’s her favorite flower or something? Or a memory tied to flowers? Devious on hard mode.
• Lifeline in Peril - F
  • I don’t like Kyrie, I don’t really like to not like Kyrie. A collectathon and doesn’t have much to do with Barret. A unique boss, but not a very interesting one.
• A Rare Card Lost - A
  • I like the bartender’s dialogue and VA, you get a great reward, and there’s a nice scene with Tifa that gets referenced later in a meaningful way. Wish there was more to Thorin, though.
• Livestock’s Bane - D
  • You get some Red development, but it’s a tracking quest and I don’t like the setup or enemy at the end.
• Where the Wind Blows - A
  • A lot of setup required, but the Broden stuff is good and is referenced later. The boss fight is pretty good (the first time). Doesn’t have much to do with Red.
• Hustle and Grind - C
  • I don’t really like Beck’s Badasses, but the interview is silly and you get to see the motorbike dudes. An annoying fight and doesn’t have anything to do with Barret, though.

Junon:

• Stuck in a Rut - C
  • Kind of awkward setup but I like the wrinkly old tatted dude and you get a good view of the cost from the hut on the cliff. Following the map was OK.
• When Words Won’t Do - A+
  • Probably my favorite quest and it’s an escort mission! Top tier banter between Barret and Cloud and the bow wow wow song is so good.
• Calling All Frogs - B
  • I wish there were fewer enemies for the frog encounter because it drags on for too long. Quirky, weird, and Tifa and Cloud flirt. Also frogs are cool.
• The Hardest Sell - D
  • I still don’t like her. The decorations bump it up to a D, though. Red has nothing to do with this quest.
• Dreaming of Blue Skies - C
  • A nice scene with Tifa at the end, but it’s a tracking quest. Not particularly interesting, but overall OK.
• Tides of War and Worry - A
  • I liked this mini game. Revisiting it once much later on was fine and it doesn’t overstay its welcome (and it’s pretty easy).
• Beneath Still Waters - C
  • A unique boss, and we get to see our infantry bros again, but aside from them not turning us in there’s nothing interesting about this encounter. Not any Aerith development.

Corel:

• The Saga of the Seaside Inn - B
  • Unique premise, and Yuffie and Cloud continue talking about it as you have to come back to it later. I don’t like collecting the wood blocks - mindless busy work.
• Rendezvous in Costa del Sol - F
  • Look I really don’t want to do those mini games again. The Aerith date is kind of off-putting. Fair enough, it makes some sense but it’s still a bummer.
• Bodybuilders in a Bind - D
  • I had trouble finding the group of monsters on the hill. The food talk with Tifa is OK, but kind of boring. Missed opportunity to talk about Zangan which would have been much more interesting. The sit-up mini game was way too unforgiving.
• Of Robed Men and Ransoms - C
  • A unique mini dungeon with a unique vibe is cool. Makes sense that it’s a Red quest. I don’t like the team rocket duo at the end, they aren’t really interesting in any way.
• Missing: Mr. Birdie - F
  • Cute premise, but I did not like setting and then returning to the traps.
• Trouble in Paradise - C
  • Kyrie, but you get to threaten to kill her. Also a cool boss fight at the end of this quest. A Yuffie quest even though she really has nothing to do with it.
• Gold Cup or Bust - F
  • I really like the lore for this quest, and it’s only a bit of a stretch for it to be a Tifa quest. But man, you have to do a LOT of races for this one. Too many.
• Sand and Circuses - C
  • Cool to see Leslie again, will probably come back next game. Some of those fights were kind of annoying, and it forced me to use the materia menu a lot which is always a pain.
• Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop - F
  • He should have stopped. Luckily it wasn’t bugged for me.

Gongaga:

• The Pursuit of Perfection - A
  • I liked following the pictures. Nothing to complain about here.
• O Chicken, Where Art Thou - F
  • Annoying AF. Funny ending.
• Teach Me, Great Warrior - D
  • Despite the Zach connection I wasn’t really feeling it. The enemies died too quickly to be staggered, that was annoying.
• The Spice of Life - F
  • Too much work and not really any payoff. Not really any Aerith development either.
• Escape from Endless Writer’s Block - C
  • Kind of annoying to actually get the photos, but story-wise it was nice.
• Woodland Vigil - F
  • I did not like going back and forth to do the spotting, and we don’t really learn anything about Zach or Cissnei.

Cosmo Canyon:

• Bonds of Trust - F
  • Did not like this mini game. And you have to do it three times. The story is boring and predictable. Really wish the chocobos could just fly, gliding isn’t nearly as fun.
• Absence of a Sign - D
  • A cute moment between Aerith and Cloud, but I didn’t like fighting that same scorpion 3 times and taking the pictures was finicky.
• From Whence Life Flows - D
  • I didn’t like following this particular map, I didn’t like having to do them in a specific order and I feel like you don’t really learn much lore from this quest which is kind of annoying.
• Promises to Keep - D
  • Didn’t like running across the desert and the story is kind of nonsensical? I like how they handled the Gi overall in this game, though.
• Victim of Circumstance - F
  • Hated following the signal, hated fighting enemies that can swallow party members.

Nibel:

• Esoteric Secrets of the Elders - C
  • Picking up the plants is kind of fun, there’s a kooky guy in a chocobo onesie.
• My White-Haired Angel - C
  • A little too long, a little too annoying of an escort quest. Still nice and it’s kind of funny to keep the cat catching theme going. Funny to have the cats in the piano performance at the end.
• Lament of the Damned - D
  • Shinra manor was kind of a letdown, and even though you get to go on a quest with Vincent the actual encounters in the combat simulator were way too repetitive.

Phew. Well what does everyone else think?

I'm walking through a bustling underground train station. I push and shove my way through all the other commuters onto the platform. As I look around, there seems to be endless rows of platforms in both directions, stretching well into a dense fog. Further ahead, neat lines of railway tracks extend out from the fog and through the platforms. I instinctually look up at the info screen
Next train in ### minutes
I furrow my brow, squint to try and focus on the numbers but they're heavily pixelated and illegible. I look around at the other commuters, who stream onto the platform completely unaware of the anomaly. Most people are on their phone, or wearing headphones while some are talking to each other. No one seems to notice the malfunction with the screen.
That's when the absurdity of the situation clicks for me. Endless platforms, a wall of fog, unreadable numbers and people that don't care. It's all a dream. I bring my hand up to my face and pinch my nose, trying to breathe through it. An old reality check I remembered from back when I was trying to learn to lucid dream.
My heart rate jumped when I realised, that I couldn't breathe through my nose. Before I could even process this, another problem presented itself. I didn't know why I was here. I didn't know where I was going and I definitely did not know how I even got here. It seems as if reality ceased to exist right before I walked onto this platform. Just like it typically feels in a dream, you spawn in out of nowhere and don't really know what happened prior - except this wasn't a dream.
I knew I was sure of it because deep inside my bones I felt this anxious urgent message. I need to catch this train. It was a primal feeling.
At this point, my head is spinning and I need to sit down somewhere. I choose a silver bench with a middle aged woman sitting on it. She shuffles further to the left as I sit down next to her clutching my head and racking my brain to try and figure out what it is happening. This is what amnesia feels like, I thought to my self as I gnawed at scraps of messy muddled memories. Each image that came into my mind was just a fragment - A school, a library, sickeningly white walls. It hit me that I didn't even know my name. I was starting to hyperventilate but then my body kicked into autopilot. I started to take deep breaths, focusing on my diaphragm and calming myself down. It felt like I was trained to do this. I started to focus on the current situation.
Where was my ticket? Instinctually, I knew I had to have gotten one on my entry to the train station. I reached into my pockets and pulled out a scrap of paper. Scrawled in very familiar cursive:
*In case of memory loss, read the journal in your backpack*
Strange message but I didn't have any choice then to at least give the instructions a try. I removed my backpack and rummaged through it for the journal. I wouldn't really call it a backpack - more a tattered and frayed bundle of cloth that was reminiscent of a backpack. I finally found a series of small thick journals, bundled in cloth with their leather covers on the verge of disintegration. The pages still seemed in good condition though. Each cover was sequentially labelled which I'm guessing corresponded to the chronological order of the writings within.
The lady next to me was weirdly getting agitated. She kept stealing glances, her body shaking and eyes burning with a fierce rage. I slowly got up from the bench and began to step backwards. My backpack bumped into a pillar. The dull thud it made seemed to cause a drastic change to everyone around me though. They all snapped their heads, locking eyes on me and staring through my very soul. I felt exposed.
The rumble of an arriving train stole away their attention and within a split second everyone was ignoring me again, going back to their usual activities. It seriously felt like I had just imagined it and it was becoming more and more clear that I was having some sort of mental breakdown. Nevertheless, as the train slowed to a stop on the platform, I walked into it and found a seat. The train seemed to be old and new at the same time. Typical blue seats with abstract dirty patterns complete with a modern sleek interior of gentle curves clashing with a boxy dull metallic exterior and doors that looked like they belonged on a rusty submarine.
I opened the first of the journals and began to read. I soon realised that the handwriting was mine and within the next few moments I was attacked by a barrage of memories that had remained repressed and buried in the back of my mind.
*
My name is Jacob and I have been stuck here in this place called *The Limbo* for an eternity. When I say 'eternity', I don't mean it lightly. Back when I used to keep track I counted over 500 years through my wristwatch that never seemed to run out of battery. Now I know counting is meaningless. There have been periods like this where my mind falls into a deep trance and I lose my whole identity as I mindlessly wander in this place much like the entities that inhabit it. Occasional periods of lucidity breach this trance and then I find myself lost and confused. It's why I keep the journals with me. I think its some sort of psychological survival mechanism that human brains develop when faced with the infinite vastness of The Limbo.
Speaking of The Limbo, I've come to learn a few things about its nature through my stay here. Some of its been through people that I've come across (Yes others are also stuck here) and some has been through my own experiences. Perhaps the most important is the question of where I get my food and water. The answer is weird. I have never felt hungry or thirsty. The sensation of having cool water slide down my throat remains a memory so distant that it feels like the snippet of a childhood dream.
I guess the next natural topic about this place would be time. Through various experiences of mine (that you'll get to read about) and discussions with others, the leading theory of mine is that The Limbo exists outside of time itself. While I myself have fallen here sometime during 2001, I've met many others from various years like the 80s, 90s and even one recent fellow from 2043.
Most people in The Limbo eventually fall into a trance, withering away until they become one of the entities or become mere tools for them. It's probably naive but I keep going through this place with only two hopes. The first is to somehow get out of here at the right time point and see my son, who I never got to see. The second is to come out of this place and die so that I no longer have to live out the empty agony of eternity (I'll explain how you can't age or die in The Limbo later). Perhaps my hopes will dwindle as the centuries pile and I will become just like those who I look upon in pity now.
I am writing this consolidated diary of my experiences for several reasons. I'd like someone to know of my unending journey in this place. To be aware of the capacity of the human spirit to keep going in the worst of situations. I have never had a long term friend in The Limbo, but know that I consider you the reader a dear friend even if I never get to meet you because you will know my story. I'm also sharing this in hopes that there is more awareness of The Limbo. Perhaps the military and scientists can actually figure out what it is. Perhaps all of us can be brought home. Or maybe this can serve as a survival guide to those who may be unfortunate enough to fall through.
There are small holes in The Limbo. Most of them are barely large enough for a pinkie finger to fit in let alone a person, but sometimes I've come across one large enough for this journal to go through. I'm not sure what time or place these holes lead to, so the safe passage of this book into a person capable of reading it has about the same chances as me ever leaving this place.
The train I'm on supposedly leads to the edge of The Limbo, where the holes are large enough for humans to fit through. It's really more of a legend amongst the poor souls that are trapped here and I've followed trails and clues for a long time to even find this train.
There are only two ways this goes. Both outcomes would lead to you reading this book in your hands. I'll either find my way out of this hell or give up hope and slip this journal through a Hole. You will find my fate at the end.
I should stop rambling now though. It would be best to start at the very beginning.
*
I was rushing out of work in pure ecstasy. My wife had gone into labor while I was at work and been rushed to hospital. I needed to get there fast. People were glancing over at me over their cubicles in confusion as I packed up my work bag and rushed out to the elevators. I couldn't stop thinking about seeing my first son as the elevator made its way down. The elevator doors finally opened and I rushed out.
The ground entrance of the building I worked at, particularly near the lobby, is an intersection of various hallways. I was already walking to close to the wall when someone came rushing around the corner and bumped me right into the wall. I was only able to hear half their apology when I fell *through* the wall like it was just a holographic projection. In hindsight, I find it oddly funny how easy it is for a life to get ruined. Just when you think you've got it all, when everything is going smoothly, a small incident like that is enough to take it all away.
I found myself in a room that resembled a classroom. It looked as if someone who had never stepped inside a classroom was asked to imagine the space. Desks were arranged in messy uneven rows with the chairs facing various directions. The board at the front of the room was a seamless patchy mixture of both chalk and modern whiteboard and mounted way too low on the wall, nearly hugging the floor. A large teachers desk sat in the front of the room. The walls were filled with posters of absolute gibberish along with diagrams and pictures that seemed like they showed something tangible but no matter how close you looked you could never identify anything in the picture.
The initial confusion was replaced by an immense panic. My heart was drumming against my chest as I searched the room for a doorway to exit it. My mind was trying to rationalise the situation. I was trying to convince myself that this was just some old part of the building and I had fallen into a hallway instead of the wall.
I ran through the doorway at the far end of the room and found myself in a large hallway that seemed to extend forever in both directions. The walls were a muted grey and the floors were that typical dirty linoleum. Soon I would find out that the regularly spaced doorways on either side of the hall led to other nonsensical classrooms.
I ran down the hallway screaming for help in pure panic, which was a terrible mistake in hindsight. I stopped running down the hallway when I suddenly heard the distinct scratch of chalk against board. In this large empty space, the sound echoed and boomed. Since I was still refusing to buy in to the reality of the situation, my hopes were momentarily increased by the supposed presence of another person here.
I slowly walked over to the doorway that the sounds were coming from. My stomach filled with an uneasy dread. This deep primal instinct within me urged me to hold back. I peeked carefully in the classroom and saw a woman with their back turned to me drawing something on the chalkboard.
It took me a few moments to notice that it was a very realistic portrait of my face.
She was drawing lines across my throat, her long dark hair swaying as she drew in the details. The drawing was completed with a terrible slash across the throat, blood gurgling out. I was frozen in place, transfixed on the hauntingly beautiful realism of the picture.
She began to turn around slowly while humming a high pitched tune. To this day I can't describe the face I saw. It is still etched into my mind. A face full of so much hatred, so much anger that I don't think its possible for a human to make that face. It expressed an emotion beyond human understanding. No artist in the world could ever render the expression on the paper. No words could describe the pure fear that coursed through my veins as she stared at me and began to approach.
I turned around to run, only to realise that a bunch of school children had gathered around me. They were headless, the bleeding stumps dripping thick blood onto the floor in a rhythmic patter. Somehow they were laughing.
I shoved through the group and ran down the hallway. I wasn't sure where I was going. My whole world had shattered and now I was completely aimless in some nonsense dimension with horrors beyond imagination that wanted me dead.
*
The extract above is from this journal I found at the foot of a large tree on a hiking trail. It's a miracle that I spotted its faded leather cover given that it was almost buried under rotting leaves. I really don't know what to make of what I'm reading, so I'll be slowly transcribing bits of it in separate posts over the next few days.
I know this subreddit is good for this sort of stuff. I'd love if someone else could share anything they know about The Limbo. This whole journal feels like some sort of prank, but the words and memories within feel way too real.
I can't help but feel a connection to this story. My mum doesn't speak much of my Dad, who I know left before I was born. No one ever found out where he went.
I was born in 2001
X

Welcome back to a little more MARRIED Mary Mania before I wrap things up with The Abridged Goblinization. I decided that this bit deserved its own chapter. Some of you seem to be entertained by Mary (or at least entertained by your own loathing of her), so I hope this will prove amusing. In my life, I've encountered an inordinate number of low-key lolcows (probably because I was far too patient and far too passive for far too long), so I might as well throw just enough distortion on the page to protect the good guys and the genuinely reformed beards. But I'm also gonna shine a bright, unflattering spotlight on the lolcows, creeps, weirdos, pervs, and BEARDS, both neck and leg.
And I'll very, very cautiously tiptoe over the bit where I do a bunch of mental gymnastics, squint my eyes, tilt my head, and convince myself that dating Whisky might be a welcome change of pace. I have no delusions when I look back on it. This was a dumb move in retrospect, but all the mental gymnastics in the world can't bring me to a reasonable scenario where I was psychic and thus able to predict what he'd become once he stopped pretending to be a gentleman. Nor can the most elite, Olympic-level mental gymnastics execute a double salto layout with a half-twist perfectly enough to force me to concede the "logical point" that I should have spotted warning signs that I'd never freakin' seen before. Okay, that's enough saltiness for today. Don't worry. This chapter mostly focuses on Mary's mania. Whisky's just kind of... there.
So there I was... dating a guy who called when he said he would, remained constant in his affections, never asked for weird stuff in the sack (in fact, we weren't even intimate at that point), and claimed to be a secular humanist who practiced elements of Hinduism (as opposed to conveniently becoming born-again whenever it suited his needs to wallow in shame). And we seemed to have similar enough tastes in media, which made for pleasant movie nights and enjoyable conversations about nerdy stuff. It felt like a step up. It felt safe. At that point in time, I was content.
But here's a shameful admission for ya. My original intention was to make Whisky the "for now guy." I knew I could do better. I was formally educated, I was in shape, I was normatively attractive, and I tended to be successful in both my theatrical and academic endeavors. Plus, I was super friendly and good with people. Whisky was kind of a bump on a log. Sure, he seemed nice. He was sometimes able to make interesting conversation. But my overall sentiment regarding the relationship was, to quote Whisky's favorite catch phrase, "Meh."
I knew he was mooching off his mysterious "big bro," and he wasn't doing this with the intention of saving up and eventually becoming self-sufficient. He just kicked up a fuss whenever he wanted something, and... it usually appeared. I still thought he was physically unattractive, too. I hate nasty-ass beards, I have a strong preference for shorter guys (they don't need to be as short as Dennis, but I don't exactly love being towered over), and Whisky had whatever the dude version of resting bitch face is. I admonished myself for being shallow and decided to soldier on. Date after date. And I did kind of get used to all the shallow things I objected to.
But, really... Dating Whisky at all was a dick move on my part. Then again, how many Nice Guy (TM)s want girls to do exactly what I did? Not attracted? Think he's kind of a bum? Find him a bit boring? Just give him a chance!!! Go on a crap-ton of dates with him until you like the familiarity enough to settle for him. That's the key to a healthy relationship!!! It never works. You could flip this around and apply it to Nice Girls who want pity dates, too.
Anyway. Lucy knew I was dating Whisky, and she thought it was great. She was honestly just happy to see that I was no longer pining over Dennis and that Whisky was no longer getting relentlessly stalked by Mary. Speaking of Mary... She'd had an imaginary dramatic breakup with Scumbanger not long after she crashed Lucy's brunch. Murky aside... The following summer, I'd do another show with the pervy pest and I'd find out that Mary had given the former Rum Tum Tugger a tug in the parking lot of The Imp and had let him motorboat her. When dozens of lewd messaged filled his inbox the following day, the most indiscriminate playboy I'd ever met in my freakin' life blocked that clingy legbeard's number and never had any further contact with her. But seeing as neither of them are especially reliable sources, my best guess is that the truth is somewhere in between.
After the dramatic "breakup" with Scumbanger, Mary immediately became obsessed with the new tech guy (and his wife). They allegedly had something of a throuple situation going on, but no one ever witnessed any hard evidence of this. And then Mary and Tech Guy's wife allegedly had a catfight in the middle of the fancy restaurant where the three spent their date nights. Mary did have a shiner and a scraped knee for a few weeks, and she intimated to me that Chuckie was actually the one responsible for her looking a little rough...
I believed her because there was something very different about her demeanor when she told me this. When she was in larger groups, she just screeched about how she thought the catfight was foreplay until Tech Guy ghosted her. Yet again, we'll never know the truth. But I err on the side of belief when someone tells me that DV is going on in their home, even if I generally regard that person as a delusional pathological liar. Plus, Mary had never badmouthed Chuckie before and she never made excuses for her philandering. She just felt entitled to any ding-dong she desired. Bottom line, I think there was an unfortunate incident, and I urged her to report it. She didn't; but that doesn't mean it didn't happen.
And, yes. I think we're allowed to show compassion for Mary if Chuckie did indeed do what she was accusing him of. She absolutely deserved to get dumped in a spectacular fashion. No one deserves violence, though. But I think we're also allowed to laugh at Mary when she's acting like a crank-crazed maniac.
Moving on to lighter topics! Mary claimed to be having a hot, steamy affair with the artistic director of The Imp. At first, this seemed outlandish. But he had been the one to hire her. And he repeatedly refused to replace her when she consistently failed to learned her lines, ran around naked, and contributed little more than mukbangs to the comedy (again, I personally found it funny when she did that, but I was in the minority).
Some skullduggery was definitely afoot. Was it "sexy time," as Mary enthusiastically claimed? Who knows. Chuckie might have been paying the dude to give Mary a hobby. But not long after Mary started boasting about boning the artistic director, he suddenly began calling her out on her unprofessional behavior. They "broke up," but Mary managed to avoid getting kicked out of the improv troupe, bragging that she could sue the director for sexual harassment if he fired her.
And then... there was the pièce de résistance of Mary's misadventures in mating. She met a biker dude at Filthy McNasty's. This guys was disgusting. Most of her previous dudes had been questionable, weird, or possibly imaginary. But we all saw this one. He was as fat as a Hutt, he smelled like a grease trap, motor oil, B.O., and a very specific type of cheese... The few teeth that he had were black and green, his fingernails were yellowed and a few of them oozed pus. Finally, the volume and crackly, bubbly properties of his frequent farts indicated to George Gay that he, "definitely had a virgin booty." Mary's lard-ass loverboy called himself "Hogg," which was probably a reference to the two-wheeled vehicle that he was very obviously too large to actually ride. Or it might have just been an obvious nickname for a filthy fat fuck.
But Hogg, like Tech Guy a few loverboys ago, had a wife. And she made frequent appearances at Filthy's as well. Hogg's wife was shockingly... kind of pretty. A little rough around the edges. Didn't smell the greatest. But she stood in stark contrast to her repugnant hubby, even with her fried hair, her sloppily inked tats, and her imprecisely applied eye makeup. Her teeth were free of obvious rot. She had a beautiful figure. And she had a carefree attitude that was probably attractive to a number of people. She'd fart right along with Hogg, she didn't shave her legs, and the profane compound nouns she came up with always cracked me up (lard-tard, smegma-booger, felch-belcher).
And Mary was once again claiming to be in a throuple with The Hoggs. But this time, there was hard evidence. They'd get busy in some corner of the establishment, and even got booted from the dive bar a few times for lewd behavior, offensive odors, and illegal drug use. On one particular night, Mrs. Hogg lit one of her hubby's gargantuan ass-rippers while Mary was doing her thing, completely shrouded by his big belly. The blue flame ignited some spilt booze on the dingy floor, and a small fire erupted. The staff were able to stomp it out, but the nasty throuple was unceremoniously banished.
Alas, management allowed Mary to re-enter the bar because she apparently had some sort of sway with one of the bartenders. Instead of meeting her...uh... "partners" for some more boom-boom, Mary decided to come back inside and gush about Hogg's majestic rooster to all of us. She smelled like D cheese, ammonia, and burnt farts as she plopped down at our table, already screeching about how much bigger her "new boo" was, compared to that vile turd of an artistic director.
George Gay: Fuck me, Mary!!! You reek. Go wash the uncircumcised methhead off your hands and then you can sit with us.
Mary started to protest. Lucy cut her off. "Your whole body is probably a veritable Petri dish from fooling around with those nasty-ass people." She handed Mary some Purell. "Was the junkie junk off, keep the bottle, and don't you fucking touch me when you come back!"
Mary's bottom lip began to quiver and she looked pleadingly at me. "Just wash up," I told her. "You're too pretty to go around smelling like that.”
Off she went to the dingy bathroom. Maybe I wasn't harsh enough, but flattery got results in this instance. And when she returned, she had managed to dilute the stench enough so that we could stand to sit at the same table with her.
Mary took a deep breath in preparation to gush about something that would have undoubtedly been disgusting, but George cut her off this time. "Mare. How do you even BANG someone with a belly like that?"
Mary (speaking a bit more quickly than usual): Oh, it just takes some creative positioning. We get him to lie down. If Mrs. Hogg is taking in the rod, I hold his bowl of jelly up with both arms and stick my cooter in his face. He eats it like his mommy made it! And when it's my turn to get blasted, the missus uses a bunch of yoga straps to hold it up. I have to take it from behind because my own little tiny bit of va-jiggle-jaggle bumps up against his bowl of jelly if why try to smash like vanilla people. It's so much fun, though!!! And then he props his bowl of jelly up on the coffee table and plays with himself while he watches his honey strap on a dil...
George: I so regret asking.
Mary: They're sooo fun to fool around with! I think they might be my forever partners! (Her hands were too shaky to slide down her body in unbridled ecstasy, so she clasped them together and hid them underneath her itty bitty little gunt.)
Lucy: So when are you gonna dump Chuck?
Mary: Well... Hogg and the missus don't have much scratch. And what they do have, they spend on smokeables. When I meet a real sugar daddy, I'll get rid of Chuckle. He pretended to be a baller before we got married. But he's just middle management and he's content to stay there. Pffffftt. No ambition.
Mary launched into another long, unnecessarily graphic gushing about her garbage partners and their nasty-ass boom-boom. So I decided this would be a good time to clear my conscience about dating Whisky. Mary hadn't so much as mentioned him in months. She was inexplicably smitten with The Hoggs. And her ultimate dream man was obviously some filthy rich dude (perhaps a literally filthy dude who was also rich), which took Whisky out of the running. I still think it would have been amusing if Mary had tried to date Mori...
I waited for her adult film star gasp to wind down before I finally interjected, "Wow. Sounds like you've got a fantastic sex life right now!"
Mary: I do! You need to get over that born-again weirdo and find a real man so that you and I can have good girl talk!
Me: Well... I'm not banging anybody, but I am dating somebody. Sort of. It's not really that big of a deal. I'm not even sure that I'm completely into him. But he's been super sweet to me...
Lucy put her arm around me, almost as if she knew I was about to need protection.
Mary: TELL ME!
I hesitated. "Well... It's Whiskers."
In an instant, George jumped up and grabbed Mary by the shoulders, lest she lunge at me.
But Mary got very quiet. Silent tears welled up in her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. She gasped and buried her face in her hands, now emitting one seemingly endless, impossibly high-pitched whine.
George loosened his grip and began to pat her on the back. Lucy's grip tightened on me and she whispered, "Here we go. Overreaction sequence has commenced."
Mary lifted her red, tear-stained face and glared at me. "HOW COULD YOU???"
Me: Mary, I swear. I thought you hated his guts. I haven't heard you talk about him in ages. When he asked, I thought it would be good for me to give him a chance since he's always been really sweet to me.
Mary: But what about the way he treated ME??? He was such an asshole!
Lucy: Was he? Mary, you stalked the guy. If he was rude, it was only because you weren't taking NO for an answer.
Mary: He never told me he wanted to end things. He just kept ghosting me. But whenever I showed up at his house and jumped on him, we always wound up smashing. Eventually.
I didn't have the gumption at that point in my life to suggest to Mary that it's wrong on every imaginable level to coerce someone into intimate activity, regardless of gender. And even knowing what Whiskers would eventually become, he didn't deserve THAT. I should have called her out. Instead I tried to steer the conversation back to her current bedroom bliss and try to get her to resume thinking the disgusting thoughts that delighted her so much.
Me: Who cares what he's doing now?! Aren't you insanely happy with your fun new lovers???
Mary: NO! THEY STINK! HE'S FAT. I want my sexy Whisky-Boo Whiskers back!!! Give him back, Valley! Puh-leeee-eeee-eeeee-eeeease.
Me: I don't "have" him. I'm just seeing him. If he hurt you this much, why don't you try to sit down and have a real conversation with him? It might be good for both of you to clear the air.
Mary: He blocked me on everythi-iiiiiii-iiiii-iiiiiing. Waaaaaaaaaah!
Me: Well, I guess that's your answer. You probably overwhelmed him. He seems like a bit of a softy. Personally, I need a softy right now. But I think you need a manly man.
Mary rose. She gave me an icy stare. And then she cooed in an unnervingly sweet tone. "I love you, Valley-Boo. I know you didn't mean to break my heart."
Me: Thank you, Mary. Really, I wouldn't have even considered his initial invitation if you hadn't been calling him "Satan," and telling us all that you hated him, and dating all these new guys. I didn't do it to spite you, I swear. It just happened.
Mary (still creepily, icily sweet): Yes. We're so alike, you and I. It's perfectly understandable that the same guy would go for both of us. But you owe me. You owe me big.
Me: I'm gonna disagree with that. If you think I slighted you, just tell me to fuck off. If you really do understand that these things happen, then you'll accept that there was no malice on anyone's part.
Mary: Mmmm-hmmmm. We'll see about that.
She jiggled her Jupiters, tossed her hair, and stalked out of the dive bar...

AND THEN SHE BANGED DENNIS.

middle aged woman calls us this morning requesting a refill on Gabapentin (you already know where this is going) “OK!” , I reassure her that it will be taken care of.
“what is the prescribers NUMBER you have FOR MY PRESCRIPTION?” she cries out.
“XXX-XXX-XXXX is the number we have on file for your prescriber.”
“ NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! “ she actively screams into the phone. “You have to use XXX-XXX-XXXX as the updated phone number. You know, im really getting tired of this pharmacy & im scared you guys are gonna mess something up! This is the second time ive called! Whats going on?”
(the doctors phone number we had on file was associated with a previous practice that was located on the other side of town, where said prescriber would send RXs from just 3 weeks ago……)
at this point im over it & dont feel like going tit for tat so I tell her : “OK well contact your doctor, is that all?”
(🙄🙄🙄!!!) Her: “But how will I know when its ready?”
Me: you should receive a text message when your doctor sends over your RX but theres nothing we can do about it at this moment. You can try calling him to expedite the process since we have 60+ refill calls to work on, but thats all I can tell you right now.
maniacally The middle ager!!! : “HAHAHA 😝 thats not my job. HAHAHAHAHA, thats YOUR job! 😝👹”
hahaha you silly, silly, silly, SILLY lady! the jokes actually on you because I get to go home after this & relax. Im not the one who needs the Gabapentin- my nerves are fine. Youre the one who’s gonna have to go without (since youre so above advocating for yourself)
Whats wrong with these people? NO! unless youre actively on fire or dying, im not gonna stop what im doing for another patient because you “NEED” to be prioritized.
Take you and your gabapentin somewhere else. we dont wanna deal with you & your shitty ass prescriber.
Needless to say, I didnt get around to calling her doctor because there was so much to do. Despite prematurely warning her to contact MDs office & make them aware she was OUT of her gabapentin, since we were backed up, she refused….. Now when she has anxiety or pain tonight & tomorrow- guess whos fault shes gonna make it? 😍 🎉 mine!!!!! slay!!!!!

For example, in the tit for tat conflict between Iran and Israel neither recognizes each other diplomatically and neither declared war on the other. Therefore, any action could be considered an act of war by one side but a crime, such as murder, on the other side. This could matter in the event of the capture of prisoners, whether they would be treated as POWs or criminals.

hii i'd love to get to know more people online! some of my interests include true crime, travel and sports! and it's totally okay if we don't share the same interests, i love hearing about other people's interests!
i'd prefer F within the age bracket of 16-19 because i haven't had very good experiences with the men on Reddit. but still, if you think we'd vibe, drop a dm!! just be nice and don't be a creep!
on a side note, i'm thinking about getting a tattoo next year on my birthday so if you have any tats or advice send em my way!!

So I was looking through AO3 define a fanfiction cuz I was bored and something that just drives me insane so much is when authors side to use like fancy lettering that are really hard to read in their summaries cuz I'm dyslexic so I already have a hard time reading a lot of stuff but then when you use fonts that are like cursive or Don't know what it's called but this is literally a word directly from the one I saw that made me want to talk about this "𝕔𝕙𝕚𝕔𝕠" I don't know what this font is called but it drives me insane It is so hard to read please I am begging you if you are making a summary please put it in regular font

(Warning, it’s not short)
So boom, I’m the new guy at work, as of rn, I’ve been there for under under 2 months. I came in w intentions of keeping to myself, because I am experienced w the toxicity of warehouse work culture. So there’s a guy at work, he’s tall and cute, turns out he thought I was cute too.
After weeks of us walking past each other, his uncle forced us to stop being cowardly and we exchanged numbers. So I think where I messed up at is not setting boundaries w him, initially. We just met and from the jump, honestly, he’s been a bit too touchy and affectionate, which I get because he said it’s his love language(it’s mine as well), but we known each other for all but 3 weeks. I finally set boundaries w him recently, and told him we have to take it(and I told him explicitly that this is a friendship) a bit slower. No more of the arm holding, thigh groping, trying to kiss me etc. because people at work talk, and I don’t need others in our business. Not because of our sexuality, but because I have messy co workers, and it would be extra frustrating if we didn’t fall through and had to walk past each other, and gossiping goes around. Also, I’m still getting used to him, yet he over sexualizes me and the conversation, sometimes…
So one of his “work family” said she doesn’t approve. Now before I continue, I wanna say his work family is a big group, like damn. She said we were cute, but she didn’t like “this”, pointing at us. Except tho there’s no “this”, we just are friends, vibing together. Idk if they felt I took him away from them or what. Mind you this happened the second wk of us being friends(around the start of the 2nd shift I ever spent w him). And the rest of that shift, we kept getting(mainly me), negative energy/staring & his work family ppl coming up to us. One of the fam was slyly asking him why is he he not where he usually works. And when I asked him about the unexplained tension, I was befuddled by his response.. He said they got the vibe that I’m ghetto, messy, super feminine, and the stuck, conceited up kind of gay. Sometimes ppl always have this annoying perception of me I stg. Mind you they don’t know me irl, and just @ the start of may, I was cordial and friendly when they spoke to me. I thought they were chill, and glad he had accepting middle aged people at work, that support him as a young gay man. Mind you, they all actually wanted us to speak, so the switch up is insane.
Today one of them came up and asked me why I don’t visit them when “my lil friend” don’t work those days. The one next to her was giving me a cold stare ( she usually does this), and then says “she’s mother”, referring to the one who questioned me…so now it’s giving this is some serious clique-y family” energy that I just walked into. My issue is I keep forgetting how fake and messy warehouse co workers are, and why my past history shows it’s best not to mix/mingle, just wrk and go home. Now I will say, he already told me he doesn’t care what they think, and he’s told them he’s gonna do what he wants to do, and I believe that. But I don’t have the time for work drama because of side comments and stares from those work family ppl TWICE me and his age(I’m 22, he just turned 23). No younger than 35 for sure on their end.
Should I put distance between me and him? Should I address their weird behavior? I’m leaning towards a friend zone, but not sure yet.
EDIT: not all of his work family is bad, a few are friendly to me, open minded, and give me a genuine vibe. Like the uncle and this other pretty lady w arm tats. But the other 70% are weird vibes, and I don’t like them, and keep my distance as a result. I can’t fake with people I don’t like, it’s a disservice to them. My spirit wouldn’t let me.

I’m a little weirdo and a sweet girl who’s into music festivals and love almost all music but especially love emo and EDM. I can nerd-out about aliens, true crime (deep interest in serial killers), the paranormal, film, fashion, music, Disney, space and animals (especially cats 😽). I’m a night owl and I love going to film festivals, music festivals/raves, concerts, traveling, fine dining and the beach. I am an extroverted introvert and have a little bit of social anxiety 🥺. But if I seem to vibe with someone and they feel trustworthy I warm up quickly. I’m currently employed as a phlebotomist. I have a car as well. I guess I’m decent looking? (pretty hard on myself about my looks 🥺)
I want to get to know someone that lives in California (or seriously willing to relocate to California), in their late 20s/30s/early 40s and have a genuine wholesome connection, no nsa, no couples, no poly- a monogamous relationship only, BE SINGLE, no cheaters, don’t have a wife/gf/partner and/or children, Someone kind, attractive, giving , intelligent (intellectual-types a big plus), makes me laugh/similar humor (Superbad, Pineapple Express, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Borat, Bruno-that kind of humor) has a job and a car, stable job/career, has their own place or is living with roommates, likes animals especially cats, a night owl, someone who wants to get married in the near future and have a family, similar interests/tastes especially in the arts, decent sense of fashion/style and taste, talkative but also has good back and forth banter and can have long deep convos, expressive emotionally, similar values and societal/political views (towards the liberal side), not afraid to be vulnerable/open with their feelings, cultured/worldly, honest from the start, humble, trustworthy, open to other povs and ideas, emotionally intelligent, understanding of mental health and can handle someone with mental health issues, has some mental health issues of their own so we can relate to each other, makes their partneSO/whoever they are dating their priority, knows what they want, mentally strong, likes taking care of others and compatible in intimacy. I am only interested in someone who wants to jump with both feet in. I want a risk taker and is ready to fall in love- not someone who is super cautious and calculated when looking for their potential partner in life. Life is short. I am looking for someone who longs for that passionate fiery love.
Would love someone that is into EDM, film/TV, the arts, a little bit of gaming, cats or animals in general, film festivals, a reader, loves traveling or wants to travel, enjoys fine dining or just good food and the loves the beach. Emo, goths, ravers, tats/piercings or just has a cool/edgy aesthetic is a huge plus! Feel free to hit me up on chat (not DM) and send a pic (I’ll send one back if I’m interested) so I can put a face to who I am talking to :) (Physical attraction is important in building a connection so If you can’t send a photo showing your face in the beginning please don’t respond to this post)

About a week ago my mother (75 years old) called me up and asked if I would go to The Rolling Stones concert in Vegas with her. She had bought two tickets, her and my father and she told me she wanted to attend but that my dad wasn’t feeling very well. He is on oxygen when he is at home. He has COPD, a lung disease, and cannot get around much. Since it was a chance to hang with my mom a day before Mother’s Day and see the Stones I said heck yeah!!
I had already mentioned to my wife that on Mother’s Day when I return, we should grill some steak and scallops and lounge out a bit… play it by ear. My wife mentioned that grilling probably wasn’t a great idea and that the oldest of our two kids, our daughter, would be heading to Europe about an hour after we return home from Vegas the day after the concert (Sunday the 12th).
Our youngest (18 years old son) accompanied me to Vegas to stay at the relatives while my mother and I went to the Stones concert.
The next morning, Mothers Day, I woke up at my parents house, texted my wife Happy Mothers Day before even jumping out of the covers. We had a family church obligation to attend to until about noon before traveling back home to see my daughter off to the airport to Europe.
Here is where the drama begins. With all the hubbub of the concert the night before, the relatives and grandma being around, my son doesn’t text or call my wife (his mom) HMD that morning. I didn’t get a text back immediately from my wife when I texted her at about 8 am, HMD… I figured I’d let her sleep in if that’s what she wanted to do. My son and I do our church thing, my wife finally responds to my text saying that they are packing and repacking for my daughters Europe trip and that they want the packing job to be right. When we finally get home late in the afternoon, I give her the present that I bought my wife (her favorite perfume that she is nearly out of) and my son gives her his present… (a note and a Pink Yeti mug I had actually bought my wife a week ago that I hadn’t given her yet, just in case one of the kids hadn’t gotten her a gift for Mother’s Day).
Side note… My wife is very big on gifts. She is a great gift giver and anticipates good gift receiving.
When I walked in home from traveling I could also smell that she was cooking something, and there was a salad on the table. I figured she planned something she wanted to have for dinner, since I had been with my own mother since the day before and she, my wife had been with our daughter having a fun girls time, watching movies, getting a mani/pedi, having pho… THIS WAS NOT THE CASE. I got the evil eye right away. She started talking snarky to me, saying snide remarks which in turn, much to my chagrin I returned the remarks. It’s been tit for tat for the last 24 hours. She said her Mother’s Day was ruined and that it was my fault. That I should have planned the day for her. The blame is all in my court.
Ugh… I feel like every birthday, anniversary, Mother’s Day, Valentine’s Day, Christmas… whatever day that retail America says I’m obligated to spend money to buy gifts… I’m not doing a good enough job. My wife buys our kids presents for Easter for hells sake. It’s too much. I don’t want anymore of it. Keep all the stupid gifts. It’s just the act of buying a thing and giving it. Its ridiculous.
Also… Am I supposed to be doting all over my wife on Mother’s Day with palm leaves and figs? If I am, I am. I just don’t see husbands doing all the work. I see kids…. Kids rubbing their moms back and making coupons for dishwashing and various chores. Kids taking care of moms and telling them what a great job they do raising them. In the arguments up to now, she is treating me like I am responsible for her Mother’s Day happiness and pointing at me saying she didn’t get what she wanted and that she didn’t have a good time. I can see how the husbands job is to orchestrate what the kids do for the moms but if I am wrong, I am wrong.
She is a great mom and I tell her that constantly. She knows I know that. I value her. My wife and I have a great relationship 99% of the time but this silly.

Hello! I have an oli leak on the main cylinder of the soft top on my w124, i found a guy who can fix them but asked me to remove the cylinders my self and send them to him; the problem is that the torx bolt tat fix that cylinder are su`per hard to remove and i'm currently tryin to remove the soft top itself so i can remove those bolts. I already removed all the bolts that fix the soft top sr¡tructure to the car and all the fluid lines that are connected to the cylinders but im not able to lift the softop because there is something in the right side that isn't letting me but i don't know what could it be, Can nyone here help me with that?
Thank you!

Hello! I have an oli leak on the main cylinder of the soft top, i found a guy who can fix them but asked me to remove the cylinders my self and send them to him; the problem is that the torx bolt tat fix that cylinder are su`per hard to remove and i'm currently tryin to remove the soft top itself so i can remove those bolts. I already removed all the bolts that fix the soft top sr¡tructure to the car and all the fluid lines that are connected to the cylinders but im not able to lift the softop because there is something in the right side that isn't letting me but i don't know what could it be, Can nyone here help me with that?
Thank you!

They been saying the main reason they no longer ( MAFIA ) allowed to be clam and they agreed to change the names for the respect to keep the 13 from what I heard. Now the west side get they own 13, they go by JM13 and the south central go by both JRM13 or JM 13. I were told they decided to keep the junior for the respect of all they homeboy the are locked up, half of them guys are lifer and few are them coming out with in no longer and they all have JRM tatting on them. There no longer ( Jr Mafia ) they all drying out in BG and they hood were took away by BG BTZ 13. And now SC & WS gets their own hood as they agree with. Some interesting stories about those gangs

(Side note: This is super long. Excuse any lousy spelling and punctuation.)
I was supposed to go out on a date with a co-worker Sergio but that didn't happen. My date was planned for the same day as my cousin Isabel's wedding day. I agreed to the date last Friday because I already knew I would not be attending Isabel's wedding. However, all that changed because my Family members were very upset and would not drop it. They didn't know my part of the story and they did not want to listen to it, they only knew Isabel's part which was an entire lie. Then they all decided that I was an a**hole and being 'overly dramatic' just from hearing her side. Overall it's a mess. I only went because I wanted the family to leave me alone. From all the drama and from Isabel running her mouth I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of thinking I was still in pain. I know her invite was just to make her seem like the bigger person but I know it's all a fake. Now the reason I was not going to attend was because Isabel stole my boyfriend Anthony and is now getting married to him. Honestly, it's all insane to me because everything has happened so fast.
Back story. Back on 12/19, I came back home early in the morning about 2am(ish) from work (I work a night shift). From the outside, you'd notice that all lights were off inside, so I assumed that Anthony was not there and would most likely be back at the apartment packing up his stuff. I recently just bought this house and already had all my stuff there. I texted him, told him I left work early, and asked if he could come home, but I got no response. I assumed he was asleep. However, he is usually up and waiting for me, but since we have been moving his stuff, it's been tiring. I had decided to shower and then get ready and get some food because I didn't have the energy to dig through boxes for pans to cook something. I got out of the car and started heading towards the front door. As I approached the door, I could hear music and stuff that no person ever wanted to hear in the early morning. I froze, and my mind went blank. I started to unlock the door slowly and quietly. I turned on the light and saw Isabel and Anthony doing the nasty on the couch. I screamed and began to cry out of anger. They screamed as well, and Isabel fell off of Anthony when he pushed her off of him. He, of course, like any cheating person, would say, "It's not what It looks like." I didn't say much because I didn't know what to say; I was speechless. I told Anthony, "Get out." and told Isabel, "Get out. I don't understand how you could do this to me. Just get out." Both of them quickly grabbed their clothing and got dressed. Anthony tried to talk to me, but I wasn't listening. He tried to hug and apologize and kept telling me he was sorry and loved me. I just told him we were over and I could never forgive him and to leave. He started to cry and just stood there staring at me, then looked over at Isabel, giving her a pissed-off look. She was standing there glaring at me. I honestly was ready to throw hands with her because I was so pissed off and the same with him. I didn't want things to escalate; I didn't want to deal with cops or wake up my new neighbors. At this point, I just wanted to sleep. I had to repeat myself multiple times for them to leave my house. They both refused to go, so I did threaten to call the cops, and that's what got them out. Anthony walked out first and didn't say anything. Isabel started to walk out, but before she walked out the door, she told me something I will never forget. She told me, and I remember what she said exactly word for word. She told me,
"You ruin everything. You ruined my love life when you stole Anthony from me. I knew him first and loved him first. You just came and stole him from me, You should know better than to be stealing someone's boyfriend. I never did anything to you for you to do what you did. You don't know how much pain you put me through. Don't talk to me ever again. I never want to see you. I don't want you around me at all. I hate you so much because you f***ed up my life. Don't talk to me. I hope your epilepsy kills you because that would make me feel so much better. It would be best for you to not be around anymore. I wish we weren't related. I wish you were dead."
There were a few things I wanted to say to that, but the 'I hope your epilepsy kills you' threw me off and hurt me even more. She walked out, slamming my door behind her. Few things I want to get clear. One when I met Anthony I didn't know she was in love with him. Two, they were not dating when we met or got together; they said they were just friends. Three, she never told me how she felt about him. I don't understand why she didn't just say something because if she had said something when he asked me out, I would have told him "No." and said the reason why. And Four, I was never told anything about the so-called 'Pain' I put her through. When she told me not to talk to or be around her, I thought it was better that way because I didn't want to talk to or be around her.
Fast forward to 2/14, I'm sitting next to Sergio and I am showing him a video on Instagram. I got a message from Isabel which was weird cause we had not talked since the cheating happened. I ignored the message and continued to show the video. I didn't care about whatever it was she messaged about nor did I even want to open it. After the video was over I went in and deleted the message without looking at it. Then I got another one from Isabel. Those messages kept coming in until I went in and blocked her. I didn't block her before because she didn't bother me after everything that happened. After the blocking, I just continued to scroll through Instagram. I stopped on a post that was posted by my cousin Eliyana (She is Isabel's youngest sister.) She posted a few videos and photos with the caption reading 'Congratulations to my sister Isa and future brother-in-law Anthony on their engagement. You guys make a beautiful couple.' Scrolling through the pictures I saw a few of my family members in it, some of our mutual friends, and then of course Isabel and Anthony. I sat at the table kind of shocked but then again not really. I was only shocked because I found it surprising that they would get married so soon and I thought it was a little too fast. Then I reminded myself that they had known each other for a very long time so I guess it might make sense in their twisted minds but it's whatever. I proceeded on with my night since the bell had rung to go back to work.
Time skip to when I got out of work the next day 2/15 technically speaking. I stood outside my work building waiting for my friends to come out. I checked my phone because I had left it in my bag in the breakroom cubby-hole thingy. While checking the notifications I had seen I got missed calls and a bunch of text messages from the family. Then got an incoming call from my cousin Ryan (Isabel's oldest brother). I answered it but as soon as I answered my friends came out. I had to tell Ryan that I would call him when I got home because I was busy at work. I hung up on him but doing so he was trying to talk. I continued to talk to my friends. We stood outside the work building for a good 15 minutes or so to wait for the parking lot to clear. Everyone is so in a hurry to get home it's insane but understandable because it's early as f*** and everyone is tired. When most of the lot was cleared we started to go our separate ways. I had given Sergio are ride so he was with me. We started walking to my car and reflecting on how the rest of our shifts went after lunch. Once we got to my car I unlocked threw my phone on the seat and opened up the trunk. I started to throw my lunch box, backpack, and other stuff in the trunk while Sergio put all his stuff in the back seat and got in the car. My phone started ringing again and I told Sergio to answer it. Didn't know it was my cousin trying to call me again. When Sergio answered he didn't even get a word in because my cousin started talking saying... "Dude. I know you are busy and you are at work but I need to talk to you about Isa and I don't- who the f*** are you? where's my cousin?" Lol, I did not know it was a FaceTime call and for me, it was kind of funny. Sergio proceeded to tell my cousin I was doing something and for him to hold on. My cousin was trying to yell at Sergio asking who he was and other nonsense. I got in the car and Sergio handed me my phone and told him "You didn't tell me if was a FaceTime call. haha." He laughed and said "Dude I wasn't even paying attention. I just answered it." Then we both laughed and I got on the FaceTime call. Saw my cousin sitting with his Girlfriend but she wasn't paying attention she had her headset on and was playing a video game. "What's up?" I asked. He proceeded to spill all that went down at my cousin's party. He told me how she made a speech and practically dragged my name through the mud. He told me to ignore all messages, vm, voicemails, and other methods when it came to the family trying to contact me. I told him I didn't plan on viewing anything or hearing anything and I was not surprised she talked sh*t about me. I also told him I wouldn't have answered the phone if he called either because I didn't know if he took her side or not. He understood why I told him that but he also said he could tell that she was lying but he wanted to also get my side of the story. I told him I'd have to talk to him once I got home and I would call him back later. He agreed and apologized to Sergio because he thought he had stolen my phone or something.
Once I had gotten back home I called my cousin before I passed out. I explained to him what happened when I got home from work that day. Then told him what she said to me about my epilepsy and how that added to not wanting to be around her but mainly because she said she didn't want me around. I told him word for word about what she said. I gave him every detail he needed and I spoke the truth. Then he gave me the breakdown of the story she told the family. She told the family that we were not together anymore but we were just living together because of the bills and both our names being on the apartment lease. She also advised the family that she was staying at the apartment because she was moving in once I was out. She told the family that everything that happened was at the apartment and I did what I did was out of jealousy and because I was crazy. She claimed I was just being a bch and didn't like that I was being replaced because he dumped me. She said she did nothing wrong because we were already broken up. She claimed to have reached out to me to talk about what happened but when she called I answered and told her to fk off and that I said some other nasty things to her that 'broke her heart' because words like that aren't meant to be said to family. During her speech that she did, she talked so much sh*t about me and some of the family agreed but some of the other family didn't.
Ryan went into detail about a lot of things she said. He explained to me that from his perspective her story did not make any sense. I explained my side of the story to him and he said it made more sense to him about what happened. He believed me and told me which family members believed her side was confusing because they knew some details the other side didn't. For example, they knew I got a house and from their understanding, we were still together because of a video I posted to Facebook about being so happy we got a house together. Another thing was that Anthony tried to keep it a secret but he opened up his big mouth about wanting to propose to me soon after getting everything situated. Therefore one side knew and the other didn't and I don't understand how they didn't. Overall Ryan believed me and apologized for Isa's behavior even though he shouldn't because he's not Isa and he had nothing to do with what happened.
My relationship with Anthony wasn't exactly perfect because what relationship is? However, we hardly fought and always trusted each other. When we did fight it was over the little things like washing dishes, taking trash out, and other stuff. We talked things out like we should. I thought I could trust him. Now I feel like I can't trust anyone.
Fast forward to 4/3. Time had passed and it felt like it went by quickly but as time went on I let go of everything that happened and slowly started to get over Anthony. As time passed I started to have a thing for Sergio because he was such a sweet guy. We started to spend a lot more time together outside of work as well. I also had barely spoken to the family except a few like Ryan, My grandmother, my Uncle (My Grandma's youngest son), and some of my other cousins. I also had to explain my story to the mutual friends I shared with my cousin and some of those friends believed me and others didn't so to me it was a whatever kind of thing I was over it. It's like you either believe me or you don't the choice is yours. Anyway, I went to Grandmother's house before heading to work to drop off some groceries I had gotten her and to tell her she didn't have to worry about her phone and electricity bill. When I got there I went inside and saw Isabel and Anthony sitting at the table sharing a meal with my Grandma. Just said 'Hi' and then looked away from them and looked at Grandma. I told her what I needed to tell her then was going to leave. Before I could leave she told me to sit and eat. I told her I had to get to work. She didn't take no for an answer and I of course was not going to argue with her so I sucked it up and sat down. They were talking about the wedding and I sat there in silence. Them talking about the wedding didn't bother me it was the staring coming from Anthony that bothered me. I continued to eat and ignore it but I was thinking about Sergio the whole time. My phone started ringing so I looked to see who was calling and it was Sergio. I answered my phone and they all looked at me. Sergio just wanted to know if we were going to take something for lunch or just eat whatever was at the snack area at work. I told him I could pick up a pizza or something for us before heading to work. Then we ended the call. Grandma asked me who it was that called and I told her it was one of my co-workers. We didn't talk about him after that. Once I had finished eating I told my Grandma thank you and I was going to head to get that pizza and head to work. Before I could leave my cousin gets up and heads to the counter going through a bag. She pulled out a pink envelope that had my name written on it in cursive and then handed it to me. Then tells me.
"I don't want to fight anymore. I want you to come to the wedding. I'm sorry and I want you to be there and you can bring a plus one if you want. This fighting is stressful I love you very much. Of course, I know that you know what you did was uncalled-for childish but we can overlook that."
My thoughts went elsewhere and wanted to say something but I didn't want to say anything in front of my Grandma. My Grandma didn't want anything to do with what happened and she didn't know much. She said she could never choose between her Grandchildren. I knew my cousin's apology was a fake one. I knew because she gave me a dirty look and she got away with it because she was facing away from my Grandma while I was facing towards her. I was fighting the urge to slap or punch her. I was no longer mad about her stealing Anthony from her I was mad at the fact that she said it was my fault when it wasn't, she was still going with her lies.
I grabbed the invitation anyway. I told my Grandma bye and left. I headed to get the pizza and then went to work. After doing all that I finally got to work and was sitting in the parking lot. I was frustrated and wanted to punch something. I wanted to throw and burn the invitation but I got curious and opened it up. The wedding was set for 5/10 at 4 pm till whenever I guess. I already made the decision that I would not be attending. I tore the invitation up and then got out of my car. I grabbed my stuff and then walked toward the nearest trashcan and tossed the invitation inside. I continued with my day.
Now to the present(ish). Back on 5/2, I was at work having lunch with Sergio. I've spent a lot of time in and outside of work with him and he confessed his emotions towards me and I told him how much I liked him as well. He asked me out on a date on our day off which was last Friday (The day of my cousin's wedding.) I agreed of course and I forgot about that date being my cousin's wedding but it didn't matter because I wasn't planning on going anyway. So I agreed to the date and he told me it would be a surprise what we would do and I agreed and didn't mind. I was just so happy that I was going to be going on a date with him because I had fallen so hard for this guy.
From that point on throughout the week I was getting calls and messages from the family asking if I would be attending my cousin's wedding. They knew she had given me an invitation but she was telling the family she was not sure if I was going to go. Now at the point like I had put I had forgotten about it. I told them I would not be able to attend because I had an important thing going on that I could not miss. Then I was told I needed to stop being childish and move on. Also being told I just need to be happy for Isabel and Anthony and stop being bitter. I told them I was not bitter I just had something important going on and it was not a lie. They claimed I was lying. They of course told me there was nothing more important than family and I would regret not going. I wanted to ignore them so much but they kept contacting me from so many different numbers and creating fake accounts just to message me and stuff. They even came to my house. It was getting super irritating.
Ryan even came to the house before I headed to work. Now Ryan I don't mind because we of course are getting along. He showed up a few hours before I had to go to work. I let him in knowing he was going to talk to me about going to the wedding. Our conversation wasn't bad or anything. He just told me that I should go to the wedding so it could shut the family up and prove to them I was over the situation (In which he knew I was. He even knew about Sergio because I told him about him.). He told me just like everyone else to bring a plus one and recommended I bring Sergio. (Now I didn't tell him I was going to go on a date with Sergio and of course, had not told him it was on the day of the wedding.). He told me it would prove a point to the family and I would win the war. Which made me laugh when he said that.
I knew he had a point though. If I went it would possibly shut the family up. It would be so that I could care less about them being in a relationship. However scared at the same time because anything is possible with my family it could end up being bad or good something you'd never know. I didn't even know who I could bring as a plus one that would keep me sane because I was not comfortable bringing Sergio because I didn't think he would feel comfortable. Another thing was if I decided to go then I would have to cancel things with Sergio and I don't want to. My heart broke just thinking about canceling. But then I decided that I might just go to the wedding because like my cousin said it might shut up the family. I was just disappointed I would have to cancel my plans and I hope he wouldn't be mad at me. Sergio does know everything about what happened with my family though because I vented to him about everything.
When my cousin left and I got to work I texted him that I would go. I would go to just prove a point. I was not happy at all I felt so sad. I needed to find a way fast to tell Sergio that I was not going to be able to go on a date with him. I sat in my car and Sergio tapped on my window. I opened the door and let him in. He scared me to be honest because I was in my world at that point. We sat in my car until it was time to go in. In that time I managed to find the words to tell him what I needed to tell him. I even told him how sad I was about it but also told him I wanted my family to leave me alone and they were stressing me out. He understood and told me he could understand I was under a lot of stress. I had asked if we could reschedule for the day after. I was scared he was going to say no. However, what surprised me was he asked if he could escort me just to help me prove my point but mainly because he still wanted to spend time with me. I told him only if he wanted to and if he felt comfortable and he said yeah. I told him the time and all the other stuff he needed to know.
Now wedding day rolls around 5/10. We go together and stuff feels so awkward and I'm about to lose my mind from all the awkwardness. The only one that was chill was Sergio which made me feel a little better. The family acknowledged us and was happy that I came. The other side who was still giving me problems was of course surprised and of course, talking about me being there. I was holding Sergio's hand as we walked into the venue. I talked to some of my family and introduced Sergio to them. They of course asked questions like how we met, how long we've been dating, and everything else. We sat down at a table with Ryan and his Girlfriend. We talked amongst ourselves. I started to ease up and not care about my family staring. When Ryan got up to go dance with His Girlfriend it was just me and Sergio sitting and talking up until he asked me to dance to a slow song they were playing. I told him I don't dance but he got me to dance anyway. While slow dancing I noticed my family still staring at us. Specifically, the side that was mad at me. I focused on Sergio as we danced and talked. We were laughing while dancing because I am a horrible dancer. When he spun me around I saw my cousin dancing with Anthony but as they were dancing their attention was on us the whole time. Once the song was over we went straight to the table. We honestly spent most of the night at the table talking. That was something I didn't mind because I love the times when we just sit and talk. Some of my family had come up to us and talked to us and I of course introduced Sergio to them. The night itself wasn't too bad we just kept to ourselves we only got up a few times from the table. We had left earlier than everyone else because I had proven my point and I just wanted to be alone with him and not spend so much time around the family. I said goodbye to the ones I do get along with.
Now for yesterday. Since Friday I've been continuing to get nasty messages. I swear I cannot win with my family. They told me I was being a hoe and being rude for bringing the guy that I cheated on Anthony with. I was told that I was stealing the spotlight from my cousin by bringing a more attractive guy than Anthony as my plus-one (Now that one made me laugh because I agree Sergio is more attractive but like I just found it funny that they said that because how is that even a thing?). They told me I was being petty. Told me that I embarrassed myself by coming. Told me I looked horrible. Was told that my cousin is upset I stole the spotlight from her and I did it on purpose. I was told I shouldn't have brought him with me because it was unnecessary and I was just trying to get attention. Then advised it was an a**hole move and if it was a stunt I was gonna pull I shouldn't have gone. That's just a few things that were said there was so much more.
I do not understand how I stole the spotlight or anything at all. I went and didn't do anything. I had one dance with Sergio and we stayed at the table talking. We talked to some of the family and that is all. They make it seem like I went and did something to my cousin. AITA?

I am sharing this as an emotional outlet among other siblings in christ 

My Experience It was January 10, 2011. I’ll never forget that date. It was the day my life changed. Also it was the day of the college football national championship. I was and still am a big college football fan (Go Cal Bears!). Oregon was set to play auburn and i was going to watch it with my neighbor two doors down. I had been doing poorly in school, and yeah was a big pot head, still am, but am much more responsible. Anyways i told myself this semester i was going to actually try in school. I woke up at six am to get ready for my day, something that i never do. I went to put on my shoes and i noticed the laces were missing. Immediately i went to my mom and asked where are my laces? She wouldn’t give me an answer and was just acting so strange. Eventually she left the house and as she was leaving two men were walking up our walkway. I figured they were plumbers considering we had plumbing issues recently. They walked in and before I knew it they walked up to me on either side and slammed me to the ground and handcuffed me. I didn’t react as it was, I didn’t expect it for one, and for two when it began I froze, I didn’t know what to do. Once on the ground I started to squirm, I screamed “Please Help me help me I’m being kidnapped! Please!” They responded No use in screaming no one can hear you. I kept screaming. One of them said go ahead get it over with when your quiet it’ll be over sooner. After probably about ten minutes, I realized no use in fighting, they helped me up and walked me to a small suv and put me in the back and put the seat belt on me. This was the beginning. I remember on the way up to Yoncalla Oregon from Sacramento California we stopped at a burger king. They offered to get me some but food was the last thing on my mind. Looking back I wish I had taken up the offer. I remember being by the ashtray seeing a half smoked cigarette and asking to smoke it, they said I couldn’t. After a long drive we got there they walked me in. The whole way I talked about how I’d get away and run away. Well of course they told the staff at Scott Valley. By the way this is the perfect point to say I was sent to Scott Valley School in Yoncalla, Oregon. One of the many so called trouble teen schools. So being told I had threatened to run away I was put on runaway watch. For about two weeks I was forced to sleep under a light. I obviously didn’t get much sleep. Also I always had two higher phase watchers who would stand on each side of me. They had phases there was like five or six I believe. Most were 2 and 1. There were like 3 phase 3’s and 1 phase 5. There was like 20-30 of us at a time. Anyway where do I start. As I write this, with the emotions and ptsd it comes in full force and yet hazy at the same time. Maybe my head trying to protect me? So I was there seven months, thank god thats it. There were people that had been there years. Some of the people there, my god, I don’t know what to say. From a 12 year old who molested his 1 year old brother and put fish hooks in his carpet so his parents would step on it, to kids that were in there later teens who had used hard drugs, kids that had been molested and acted out as a result, kids that just were wilding out period, a lot of different walks. After I got off of runaway watch I got back on it within two weeks. I was in trouble sitting at the essay table while pe was going on. So one of the punishments was writing essays. But anyway there were two other kids at the table, the twelve year old i mentioned above and the only black kid there on the boys side. I looked at them and said if we worked together we could escape this place. They both just dead stared at me. When it was time to line up, the 12 year old went away first, the other kid looked at me and said were gonna get in trouble, that kid is a snitch and is going to tell on you. He was right. I got put on the “wall” because of that. For two weeks when not eating, sleeping, or using the bathroom, I was staring at a wall were a dot was drawn with a piece of paper on it. I would just let my imagination run wild while this happened thinking about home, friends, family, make believe countries governments politics, anything to keep the mind entertained or semi at peace! There was a green jacket my parents sent up for me that was my grandpa on my mothers side. Grandpa Applegate. It was a super cool green jacket with fake fure on the color, it looked like something you’d wear in the winter in Moscow. They said it had too many pockets and I could hide things in it. So they took it away. They put it in the Pod where all of our extra stuff was stored. Well one pod day where we could exchange stuff, there was a different staff member on duty then the one who said I couldn’t wear it. So i got it out and he didn’t know so i got to wear it for a bit. So when the other staff member got back on shift, he saw the jacket. I was banned from wearing a sweatshirt of any kind for a month. When we had outside pe everyday in Febuary to March I would get so cold. When I would put my hands in my shirt I would get another essay. This is Central Oregon, it gets cold that time of year! So some facts about the living situation, you had three minutes for showers and bathroom. You go over that you get an essay. You get more time the higher phase you get. You ever take a shit in three minutes? If done successfully I commend you. I would go five days without shitting because one of the night workers a guy named Johnny would not keep track of time when I’d get up to ask the restroom in the early morning. Johnny was an angel in a sense. Taking an uninterrupted shit was some of the most bliss I could get. Not trying to be gross but when using the restroom even was so restricted, being able to use the restroom not timed felt like hitting the lotto. When we’d wake up at seven am we only had 1 min to get up and make our bed, timed, if we didn’t make it wed get an essay. I’m naming these things as I remember different events, not necessarily in chronological order, but different events that happened. I had a peach fuzz mustache i was so proud of and long curly hair. They gave me a buzz cut and forced me to shave. My dad sent my grandpa Andrews old electric razor. That’s my dads dad. My biggest hero in my life. His name I got tatted on me at 19. I write this at 29. He died when I was 9. Most of the other kids had razors you could charge, mine needed to be plugged in to work, I didn’t understand that. I had never shaved to begin with, so I thought it was broken. I threw it away and put in a request for a new one. My father told them it was a plug in, but it was already to late so he needed to order me a new one. At a group therapy session thing, yeah we did that every day, and none of the people working there had any degrees that could go to the field they were working in. Anyway my writing is not perfect so as I was saying, at a group therapy thing, Jad one of the main guys working there brought up the razor, he said I knew it wasn’t broken, but I just wanted a new one. You don’t love your grandpa youre just a selfish little bitch. Those words still are ingrained in my mind. I know they are false but god damn they hurt. I cried. As I cried he just continued to tell me how selfish I am and im a bitch a pussy etc. William Frederick Andrews was my grandfathers name, as said I got it tatted on me at 19. He was born 1924, in 2024, my first child, a son, was born, William Frederick Andrews II. I call that a moral victory. Crazy how it worked out to be a 100 year difference. Another time it was 420, I cried because I wanted to smoke and he called me out on it in group therapy. He called me a bitch, a pussy, the usual. Weird things happened there, like one time they did a “fire drill” in the middle of the night, we had to go out into the cold in our underwear for five minutes until it was over. There were girls there but they were in a separate area. When they walked by or vice versa we had to look the other way. One of the many reasons it got shut down is there was a case of a student raping another. Apparently the girl who reported it got hounded in group therapy to the point she recanted. Now I could be wrong, but I think I know the person who did it, only one guy from the male side reached level five to the point where he became staff and could go to the girl side for group therapy. I don’t know for sure but that’s what i assume. At one point they were building a new building and they had us digging the ground around it for construction. Yeah they had us do all the cleaning indoors and out doors. If you were bad you could have your school privileges taken away. I had one kid who was a phase above me copy my work. He got caught. He got demoted, and got repromoted before I left. I never got past phase 1. So phase 1 red shirt. Phase 2 green shirt. Phase 3 Blue shirt. Phase 4 and above whatever you want. Like I said a lot of this is not in order. I am writing this in one go after years of talking about it to my loved ones. Put my thoughts to the pen, or keyboard in this case. So they did this thing were it was like a week, where it was the program or some weird name. They would break you down and “build you up” you would get a demeaning name for a week and then get an empowering name. I got the picture that if you were just a weed smoking low grade getting teen, you wouldn’t be ever seen as getting progress, you had to have “admitting to a bad act” of some sort. I made a story about how I let a girl cut me and drink my blood and how I thought about killing my dad. I know, like why would one lie and say that?!, well I figured if I had said I had done that and then shown to be turned good, it would reward me as changed and out that place. Looking back im like what the fuck. But I just wanted out and I was sure as hell willing to lie my way out. So yeah i went by like blood sucker or something like that for a week, but thats not bad. I remember so well one girl who was adopted and had relations with several boys back where she was from, she got sent there for that, and her name for the week was “Orphan Whore”. Also there were other students who weren’t going through the program that were involved with the process. Elon school or something like that where students yell at other students all sorts of insulting shit The end of it I reclaimed my name or whatever and they had me do like a ballet dance kind of weird thing to show rebirth, not that ballets weird, but in this scenario, yeah. I remember there was a day they said the world was going to end, someday in May 2011 some random wacko said, it made headlines as a joke more than anything, but i remember hearing it and hoping it happens because I wanted out. There was a gym there with rafters. I used to dream of hanging myself from them to get out. I dreamed about a car driving into the school and opening a wall up so we could run away. They used to tell us if we ran away there is bear and cougars out there, if they dont get us the cops will, and theyll put us in juvi just to have us sent back when out. They had these things called group essays. If someone did something and it no one admitted to it wed all have to write an essay about how we could have prevented it. One time a kid wiped shit on all the walls in the bathroom, the kid never admitted to it so we all had to write an essay on how we could have prevented it. I remember one time going to use the bathroom there was semen on the toilet seat, lol teen boys sex drive. I just wiped it off before I sat down. One time late at night I was masterbating in my bed. There was 20 of us sleeping in bunks in the same room, the kid who ended up copying my work i mentioned, saw me making some um, sheet movements, and looked my way giving me a dirty look, i just rolled over pretending like i was scratching, oh snap, almost caught. Not trying to be disgusting, teenage boys, find one that doesn’t masterbate, and i’ll give you some ocean beach front property in Kansas. You got weekly phone calls with your parents, you never dared to say what was going on because they were always listening. Letters same, they read them, so no use in saying something, they’ll just read it and throw it away, later my father asked me why didn’t you tell me what was going on? Well… My gf at the time ended up getting a bf after 6 months of waiting, i don’t blame her. Hey it was teenage love so im not hurt, but at the time it hurt because neither of us willingly ended it. She sent me a bookmark to have up there, it had us kissing on it, they took it from me for it being sexually explicit. They banned me from sitting up in bed and praying. I was atheist from 12 to 27 except for that time, i came back to my faith, praying for my exodus. I’m a christian again now, but only after I found a denomination that was open and affirming because I’m bisexual. Thinking about this, my mind can’t explain the pain, the rain of emotional trauma that falls in my cranium. Many times I’ve turned to cocaine, liquor, and suicidal thoughts because of the pain. It fucked my whole concept of everything in life. My emotions, my understanding of control of my own life, my ability to have healthy relationships, just so much. I still have dreams of being back there and wake up with nightmares, I was sixteen then, i turn 30 this year thirty, i have a beautiful amazing wife, a son who is the biggest blessing in my life, like i got it together now, but I don’t still, obvious by writing this. I remember one time getting to get my glasses prescription. They had to take me to town, the eye doctor, i thought about coming to him for help, but I thought if he works with these people, hell just report me to them, not them to authorities. My grandpa applegate, my moms dad, he died of suicide while I was gone, diagnosed with a terminal cancer he took it into his own hands. I never got to say good bye. When his funeral happened I wasn’t brought home for it, no, I was allowed to “write a letter to be read”. I wrote a letter, and it got read and a lot of family members said how deep it was and mature, I till this day have never watched the funeral video, I can’t. Because I should have been there. When I was on the wall, lookin towards the window could get me in trouble, because it was considered plotting an escape. I read in an english class I know where the caged bird sings, it became my favorite poem because I would watch the birds on the outside of the window and see how free they were. The joy of that. I was a juggalo, they banned me of talking anything icp related. I’d hum icp songs in protest, not like they knew them, also still a juggalo, two scoops of whoop. They day my dad came to get me, well I was peeing, and when I got out I saw him by the front door which was not far from the restroom, I ran up and hugged him saying oh my god dad! I love you! I started crying. He took to the place I always heard the workers there talk about a place called the Sugar Shack, a donut shop. Gosh dang good donuts! Then he took me to some cousins on the coast of oregon. Two days being out I was running on the beaches of the oregon coast. The sand in my feet, the breeze, the feeling of freedom. Scotts Valley School was shut down i think in 2016 for child abuse, i will link articles, but damn that place will forever haunt my head. The bats of the cave of my mind. I am married now with a family. I do my best to be a strong individual and provide, but this place has forever scared me and left me feeling weak. I couldn’t protect myself, so now I want to do everything to protect my family and be there for them. Scotts Valley school, I now live in a place called Scott Valley, the geographic area name, all come full circle? There is probably a lot more I could add to this, but for now, I just wanted to write down the bare minimum. If you have read this, thank you. I have found peace in my mind, heart, and soul as much as I can, and I hope those who have gone through similar ordeals can find some semblance of peace in their existence as well. I thank Jesus for keeping me hopeful in times I wanted to die. God bless you all.
https://www.statesmanjournal.com/story/news/politics/2015/12/14/lack-food-among-abuse-and-neglect-complaints-boarding-school/77246394/
https://www.oregonlive.com/politics/2015/12/hunger_vulgar_names_oregon_air.html
https://www.columbian.com/news/2016/jan/07/oregon-threatens-license-of-teen-boarding-school/
https://www.facebook.com/anorexicchild/posts/scotts-valley-boarding-school-in-yoncalla-oregon-scotts-valley-school-starved-th/368786460137878/
https://media.oregonlive.com/politics_impact/otheScotts%20Valley%20Notice%20of%20Intent%20to%20Revoke%20December%2011%202015.pdf
Ps the starved kid in the please eat post is not me

My Experience 

It was January 10, 2011. I’ll never forget that date. It was the day my life changed. Also it was the day of the college football national championship. I was and still am a big college football fan (Go Cal Bears!). Oregon was set to play auburn and i was going to watch it with my neighbor two doors down. I had been doing poorly in school, and yeah was a big pot head, still am, but am much more responsible. Anyways i told myself this semester i was going to actually try in school. I woke up at six am to get ready for my day, something that i never do. I went to put on my shoes and i noticed the laces were missing. Immediately i went to my mom and asked where are my laces? She wouldn’t give me an answer and was just acting so strange. Eventually she left the house and as she was leaving two men were walking up our walkway. I figured they were plumbers considering we had plumbing issues recently. They walked in and before I knew it they walked up to me on either side and slammed me to the ground and handcuffed me. I didn’t react as it was, I didn’t expect it for one, and for two when it began I froze, I didn’t know what to do. Once on the ground I started to squirm, I screamed “Please Help me help me I’m being kidnapped! Please!” They responded No use in screaming no one can hear you. I kept screaming. One of them said go ahead get it over with when your quiet it’ll be over sooner. After probably about ten minutes, I realized no use in fighting, they helped me up and walked me to a small suv and put me in the back and put the seat belt on me. This was the beginning. I remember on the way up to Yoncalla Oregon from Sacramento California we stopped at a burger king. They offered to get me some but food was the last thing on my mind. Looking back I wish I had taken up the offer. I remember being by the ashtray seeing a half smoked cigarette and asking to smoke it, they said I couldn’t. After a long drive we got there they walked me in. The whole way I talked about how I’d get away and run away. Well of course they told the staff at Scott Valley. By the way this is the perfect point to say I was sent to Scott Valley School in Yoncalla, Oregon. One of the many so called trouble teen schools. So being told I had threatened to run away I was put on runaway watch. For about two weeks I was forced to sleep under a light. I obviously didn’t get much sleep. Also I always had two higher phase watchers who would stand on each side of me. They had phases there was like five or six I believe. Most were 2 and 1. There were like 3 phase 3’s and 1 phase 5. There was like 20-30 of us at a time. Anyway where do I start. As I write this, with the emotions and ptsd it comes in full force and yet hazy at the same time. Maybe my head trying to protect me? So I was there seven months, thank god thats it. There were people that had been there years. Some of the people there, my god, I don’t know what to say. From a 12 year old who molested his 1 year old brother and put fish hooks in his carpet so his parents would step on it, to kids that were in there later teens who had used hard drugs, kids that had been molested and acted out as a result, kids that just were wilding out period, a lot of different walks. After I got off of runaway watch I got back on it within two weeks. I was in trouble sitting at the essay table while pe was going on. So one of the punishments was writing essays. But anyway there were two other kids at the table, the twelve year old i mentioned above and the only black kid there on the boys side. I looked at them and said if we worked together we could escape this place. They both just dead stared at me. When it was time to line up, the 12 year old went away first, the other kid looked at me and said were gonna get in trouble, that kid is a snitch and is going to tell on you. He was right. I got put on the “wall” because of that. For two weeks when not eating, sleeping, or using the bathroom, I was staring at a wall were a dot was drawn with a piece of paper on it. I would just let my imagination run wild while this happened thinking about home, friends, family, make believe countries governments politics, anything to keep the mind entertained or semi at peace! There was a green jacket my parents sent up for me that was my grandpa on my mothers side. Grandpa Applegate. It was a super cool green jacket with fake fure on the color, it looked like something you’d wear in the winter in Moscow. They said it had too many pockets and I could hide things in it. So they took it away. They put it in the Pod where all of our extra stuff was stored. Well one pod day where we could exchange stuff, there was a different staff member on duty then the one who said I couldn’t wear it. So i got it out and he didn’t know so i got to wear it for a bit. So when the other staff member got back on shift, he saw the jacket. I was banned from wearing a sweatshirt of any kind for a month. When we had outside pe everyday in Febuary to March I would get so cold. When I would put my hands in my shirt I would get another essay. This is Central Oregon, it gets cold that time of year! So some facts about the living situation, you had three minutes for showers and bathroom. You go over that you get an essay. You get more time the higher phase you get. You ever take a shit in three minutes? If done successfully I commend you. I would go five days without shitting because one of the night workers a guy named Johnny would not keep track of time when I’d get up to ask the restroom in the early morning. Johnny was an angel in a sense. Taking an uninterrupted shit was some of the most bliss I could get. Not trying to be gross but when using the restroom even was so restricted, being able to use the restroom not timed felt like hitting the lotto. When we’d wake up at seven am we only had 1 min to get up and make our bed, timed, if we didn’t make it wed get an essay. I’m naming these things as I remember different events, not necessarily in chronological order, but different events that happened. I had a peach fuzz mustache i was so proud of and long curly hair. They gave me a buzz cut and forced me to shave. My dad sent my grandpa Andrews old electric razor. That’s my dads dad. My biggest hero in my life. His name I got tatted on me at 19. I write this at 29. He died when I was 9. Most of the other kids had razors you could charge, mine needed to be plugged in to work, I didn’t understand that. I had never shaved to begin with, so I thought it was broken. I threw it away and put in a request for a new one. My father told them it was a plug in, but it was already to late so he needed to order me a new one. At a group therapy session thing, yeah we did that every day, and none of the people working there had any degrees that could go to the field they were working in. Anyway my writing is not perfect so as I was saying, at a group therapy thing, Jad one of the main guys working there brought up the razor, he said I knew it wasn’t broken, but I just wanted a new one. You don’t love your grandpa youre just a selfish little bitch. Those words still are ingrained in my mind. I know they are false but god damn they hurt. I cried. As I cried he just continued to tell me how selfish I am and im a bitch a pussy etc. William Frederick Andrews was my grandfathers name, as said I got it tatted on me at 19. He was born 1924, in 2024, my first child, a son, was born, William Frederick Andrews II. I call that a moral victory. Crazy how it worked out to be a 100 year difference. Another time it was 420, I cried because I wanted to smoke and he called me out on it in group therapy. He called me a bitch, a pussy, the usual. Weird things happened there, like one time they did a “fire drill” in the middle of the night, we had to go out into the cold in our underwear for five minutes until it was over. There were girls there but they were in a separate area. When they walked by or vice versa we had to look the other way. One of the many reasons it got shut down is there was a case of a student raping another. Apparently the girl who reported it got hounded in group therapy to the point she recanted. Now I could be wrong, but I think I know the person who did it, only one guy from the male side reached level five to the point where he became staff and could go to the girl side for group therapy. I don’t know for sure but that’s what i assume. At one point they were building a new building and they had us digging the ground around it for construction. Yeah they had us do all the cleaning indoors and out doors. If you were bad you could have your school privileges taken away. I had one kid who was a phase above me copy my work. He got caught. He got demoted, and got repromoted before I left. I never got past phase 1. So phase 1 red shirt. Phase 2 green shirt. Phase 3 Blue shirt. Phase 4 and above whatever you want. Like I said a lot of this is not in order. I am writing this in one go after years of talking about it to my loved ones. Put my thoughts to the pen, or keyboard in this case. So they did this thing were it was like a week, where it was the program or some weird name. They would break you down and “build you up” you would get a demeaning name for a week and then get an empowering name. I got the picture that if you were just a weed smoking low grade getting teen, you wouldn’t be ever seen as getting progress, you had to have “admitting to a bad act” of some sort. I made a story about how I let a girl cut me and drink my blood and how I thought about killing my dad. I know, like why would one lie and say that?!, well I figured if I had said I had done that and then shown to be turned good, it would reward me as changed and out that place. Looking back im like what the fuck. But I just wanted out and I was sure as hell willing to lie my way out. So yeah i went by like blood sucker or something like that for a week, but thats not bad. I remember so well one girl who was adopted and had relations with several boys back where she was from, she got sent there for that, and her name for the week was “Orphan Whore”. Also there were other students who weren’t going through the program that were involved with the process. Elon school or something like that where students yell at other students all sorts of insulting shit The end of it I reclaimed my name or whatever and they had me do like a ballet dance kind of weird thing to show rebirth, not that ballets weird, but in this scenario, yeah. I remember there was a day they said the world was going to end, someday in May 2011 some random wacko said, it made headlines as a joke more than anything, but i remember hearing it and hoping it happens because I wanted out. There was a gym there with rafters. I used to dream of hanging myself from them to get out. I dreamed about a car driving into the school and opening a wall up so we could run away. They used to tell us if we ran away there is bear and cougars out there, if they dont get us the cops will, and theyll put us in juvi just to have us sent back when out. They had these things called group essays. If someone did something and it no one admitted to it wed all have to write an essay about how we could have prevented it. One time a kid wiped shit on all the walls in the bathroom, the kid never admitted to it so we all had to write an essay on how we could have prevented it. I remember one time going to use the bathroom there was semen on the toilet seat, lol teen boys sex drive. I just wiped it off before I sat down. One time late at night I was masterbating in my bed. There was 20 of us sleeping in bunks in the same room, the kid who ended up copying my work i mentioned, saw me making some um, sheet movements, and looked my way giving me a dirty look, i just rolled over pretending like i was scratching, oh snap, almost caught. Not trying to be disgusting, teenage boys, find one that doesn’t masterbate, and i’ll give you some ocean beach front property in Kansas. You got weekly phone calls with your parents, you never dared to say what was going on because they were always listening. Letters same, they read them, so no use in saying something, they’ll just read it and throw it away, later my father asked me why didn’t you tell me what was going on? Well… My gf at the time ended up getting a bf after 6 months of waiting, i don’t blame her. Hey it was teenage love so im not hurt, but at the time it hurt because neither of us willingly ended it. She sent me a bookmark to have up there, it had us kissing on it, they took it from me for it being sexually explicit. They banned me from sitting up in bed and praying. I was atheist from 12 to 27 except for that time, i came back to my faith, praying for my exodus. I’m a christian again now, but only after I found a denomination that was open and affirming because I’m bisexual. Thinking about this, my mind can’t explain the pain, the rain of emotional trauma that falls in my cranium. Many times I’ve turned to cocaine, liquor, and suicidal thoughts because of the pain. It fucked my whole concept of everything in life. My emotions, my understanding of control of my own life, my ability to have healthy relationships, just so much. I still have dreams of being back there and wake up with nightmares, I was sixteen then, i turn 30 this year thirty, i have a beautiful amazing wife, a son who is the biggest blessing in my life, like i got it together now, but I don’t still, obvious by writing this. I remember one time getting to get my glasses prescription. They had to take me to town, the eye doctor, i thought about coming to him for help, but I thought if he works with these people, hell just report me to them, not them to authorities. My grandpa applegate, my moms dad, he died of suicide while I was gone, diagnosed with a terminal cancer he took it into his own hands. I never got to say good bye. When his funeral happened I wasn’t brought home for it, no, I was allowed to “write a letter to be read”. I wrote a letter, and it got read and a lot of family members said how deep it was and mature, I till this day have never watched the funeral video, I can’t. Because I should have been there. When I was on the wall, lookin towards the window could get me in trouble, because it was considered plotting an escape. I read in an english class I know where the caged bird sings, it became my favorite poem because I would watch the birds on the outside of the window and see how free they were. The joy of that. I was a juggalo, they banned me of talking anything icp related. I’d hum icp songs in protest, not like they knew them, also still a juggalo, two scoops of whoop. They day my dad came to get me, well I was peeing, and when I got out I saw him by the front door which was not far from the restroom, I ran up and hugged him saying oh my god dad! I love you! I started crying. He took to the place I always heard the workers there talk about a place called the Sugar Shack, a donut shop. Gosh dang good donuts! Then he took me to some cousins on the coast of oregon. Two days being out I was running on the beaches of the oregon coast. The sand in my feet, the breeze, the feeling of freedom. Scotts Valley School was shut down i think in 2016 for child abuse, i will link articles, but damn that place will forever haunt my head. The bats of the cave of my mind. I am married now with a family. I do my best to be a strong individual and provide, but this place has forever scared me and left me feeling weak. I couldn’t protect myself, so now I want to do everything to protect my family and be there for them. Scotts Valley school, I now live in a place called Scott Valley, the geographic area name, all come full circle? There is probably a lot more I could add to this, but for now, I just wanted to write down the bare minimum. If you have read this, thank you. I have found peace in my mind, heart, and soul as much as I can, and I hope those who have gone through similar ordeals can find some semblance of peace in their existence as well. I thank Jesus for keeping me hopeful in times I wanted to die. God bless you all.
https://www.statesmanjournal.com/story/news/politics/2015/12/14/lack-food-among-abuse-and-neglect-complaints-boarding-school/77246394/
https://www.oregonlive.com/politics/2015/12/hunger_vulgar_names_oregon_air.html
https://www.columbian.com/news/2016/jan/07/oregon-threatens-license-of-teen-boarding-school/
https://www.facebook.com/anorexicchild/posts/scotts-valley-boarding-school-in-yoncalla-oregon-scotts-valley-school-starved-th/368786460137878/
https://media.oregonlive.com/politics_impact/otheScotts%20Valley%20Notice%20of%20Intent%20to%20Revoke%20December%2011%202015.pdf
Ps the starved kid in the please eat post is not me

As of May 11, 2024:
Take This to Your Grave
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*Numbers rounded to nearest decimal *Songs listed as “B-Sides”, wherein the album numbering restarts, were not included in these calculations.

Verification/Photo
Please add $15 Priority Shipping CONUS (ship on weekdays). Will combine shipping so only paying once if buy multiple items. Open to discounted price if buying many items!
$800 (including shipping CONUS) takes everything not pending!!! Will also include an Atlas Stationers tote bag from the 2024 Chicago Pen Show.
Pens inked a few times, just not fitting style. If pen does not have internal filling mechanism, I'm including the converter.
Trying to free up capital for future purchases.
Pens:
Nahvalur (Narwhal) Nautilus - Bronze Corydoras Broad [B] $110
Pineider Avatar UR Matte Black M [B] $150
TWSBI Diamond 580 RG II Stub 1.1 [B] $70
Ferris Wheel Press Limited Echoes of Eaton Brush M [B] + Roaring Patina Black matching ink (75% full) $175
Hinze Pen Company Taschensift Northern Lights Stub 1.1 [B] $200
Lamy Safari Matte Black installed with the lamy cursive special nib. Also including the B nib that came with purchase. [A2] $75
Tactile Turn 8-bit Side Click Rollerball [B] $125
Kaweco AL Sport Piston Black BB [B] $150 PENDING