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As it did for several of us, the Outlaw grouping has set my mind afire. I’ve been working on these since that was announced: a big bunch of cute heckin’ squirrels to kick off a Rodent typal group. I’ll probably do Mice next to beat Bloomburrow, but Capybaras are sorely lacking too, and they’ll be after the Mice.
Please give me any and all feedback you can! Treat all cards as a Commander-only set, illegal in all other formats. I know I’m a little wordy, as usual. And I know I’m stretching a couple templating things (I think reminder text using “Add {hybrid mana}” would be acceptable since “size” is, but it’s not technically correct; Foods are also not predefined, I don’t believe, but for the sake of spacing I’m assuming that one day they will be). But overall I’m pretty happy with these, and I hope my lil squirrels brighten your day.

This cat has come around three times now, we like to leave the inside door open for our cat bc he likes to watch the squirrels and birds out on our balcony but as of yesterday this random ragdoll cat shows up. Yesterday it came by before I left for work at about 8AM, today it showed up at around 11AM, my partner sent me some pictures, and again just now at 9:30PM. Everytime it shows up neither of the cats get aggressive or make angry noises, Pumpkin (my void) simply stares and paws at the screen making little meows, though, his tail gets quite bushy, the ragdoll has never moved closer than the last step and remains silent, it runs away the second me AND my partner come to the door so I think it’s afraid of too many people. What should I be doing? Is this fine to happen as long as we monitor? We never leave this door open when no one is home, could our cat maybe make a friend or could this be stressing him out and dangerous? Our cat is male and fixed, obviously, I have no idea about the sex or fix of the Ragdoll.
Unimportant side note, I’m a little worried for this Ragdoll as the hours it shows up seem to suggest it’s outside 24/7, we live in the city and on a decently busy area as well. Haven’t seen any missing posters or social media posts and while it’s the first time it’s come up our stairs to our door, I’ve seen it downstairs in our yard before so hopefully it has a home here somewhere.

This cat has come around three times now, we like to leave the inside door open for our cat bc he likes to watch the squirrels and birds out on our balcony but as of yesterday this random ragdoll cat shows up. Yesterday it came by before I left for work at about 8AM, today it showed up at around 11AM, my partner sent me some pictures, and again just now at 9:30PM. Everytime it shows up neither of the cats get aggressive or make angry noises, Pumpkin (my void) simply stares and paws at the screen making little meows, though, his tail gets quite bushy, the ragdoll has never moved closer than that step and remains silent, it runs away the second me AND my partner come to the door so I think it’s afraid of too many people. What should I be doing? Is this fine to happen as long as we monitor? We never leave this door open when no one is home, could our cat maybe make a friend or could this be stressing him out and dangerous? Our cat is male and fixed, obviously, I have no idea about the sex or fix of the Ragdoll.
Unimportant side note, I’m a little worried for this Ragdoll as the hours it shows up seem to suggest it’s outside 24/7, we live in the city and on a decently busy area as well. Haven’t seen any missing posters or social media posts and while it’s the first time it’s come up our stairs to our door, I’ve seen it downstairs in our yard before so hopefully it has a home here somewhere.

Beginnings. Illustrious. Vivacious. Monstrous. Scintillating. Star-Studded. Nautical. Creeping. Vainglorious. Luminous. Villainous. Venerable. Exuberant. Esteemed. Legendary…. Epic. Wonderful, Briliant, Victorious, Foundational, Iconic!!! Champions. Sixteen of them. One prize. One Ultimate Champion. Who will beat all other winners and become the ultimate winner themselves? As we get ready to close the curtain one last time on Bunny’s Big Brother, let’s find out who is the Shining Star of our champion cast in Bunny’s Pokémon Big Brother CHAMPION ROYALE!
Season Finale: CHAMPION ROYALE!!!
Meet the Cast:
Season 1 – Lance the Escavalier
Season 2 – Carlos the Pangoro
Season 3 – Nickels the Nickit
Season 4 – Xio the Meowscarada
Season 5 – Selene the Lampent
Season 6 – Candy the Wigglytuff
Season 7 – Splaatz the Stunfisk
Season 8 – Dirk the Kricketune
Season 9 – Echo the Arctibax
Season 10 – Mobee the Bewear
Season 11 – Professor Bane the Crobat
Season 12 – Lisette the Solrock
Season 13 – Maeva the Chimeco
Season 14 – Dayley-Jane the Dewgong
Season 15 – DJ Volt Switch the Emolga
Season 16 – Benedict the Chespin
Intro: We are reporting live at the site of Bunny’s Pokémon Big Brother Finale House! The crowd is thick and loud as fans from all over are excited to watch the sixteen champions enter the house LIVE! We stand in Poketopia, home of the Battle Revolution! The Shining Neon Colloseum, in a penthouse suite in the grand city is where the final bout will begin! Here come the Legendary Sixteen right now!!!! Lance the original winner is so stunning in his armor! Carlos has evolved and looks much tougher. Nickels is strutting in conifdent as ever next to Xio, who looks completely unphased by all of the winners around her! Selene fits right in with the bright lights. Looks like Candy is evolved as well and—OH—she tripped over Splaatz. That’s embarrassing and you can tell she isn’t happy even if she’s putting on a smile. Dirk and Echo are next, both eyeing up the competition already. Echo being evolved now already ups his threat level. Mobee gets an uproarious cheer from the crowd! And WOW the Professor gracefully glides over the crowd! He really did escape capture back in Mazda’s Season. Lisette seems to be meditating and Maeva is pumping herself up. She looks a bit snooty now that we know how she really is but we are eager to see how she plays. Dayley-Jane gets another huge cheer from the crowd. She really is a lovable gal ain’t she? DJ clicks a track on the DJ booth to keep one last song playing but then hops out to join the entourage. She’s still keeping up her day job too, so inspiring! Finally, Benedict walks up. Unlike the others, he looks somber. Wonder what his deal is? Oh well, let’s watch them all compete in the bright stadium for the first HOH!
First HOH: In this bright lights HOH, the houseguests all race to complete a task, with the first to complete it knocking someone out of the running. In the first heat, Maeva clears first and knocks out Bane because he came in second and is a huge comp threat. In the next round, Echo wins and takes out Maeva, who just won. Splaatz wins round three by accident and takes out Day, who was big on his original season. Candy wins next and takes out Nickels. Xio takes out DJ, followed by Benedict winning and immediately knocking Xio out. Candy wins again and takes out Dirk. Echo then wins again to take out Candy before she gets too much momentum. Carlos wins and takes out Lance, Mobee then wins and takes out Carlos, Benedict then wins and takes out Mobee! Splaatz wins again and takes out Selene as she is hiding in the background. Lisette wins the next round to take out Benedict. In the final three, Echo wins again and takes out Lisette, as she did a good job hiding til then. In Splaatz versus Echo, the fish surprisingly keeps up with the dragon and at the last second, takes over?!?!?! Splaatz is the first HOH!
Week 1: Splaatz is very confused how he won that last round but Echo comes up and congratulates him. The two get along well and Splaatz works up the courage to ask to be in an alliance, which the dragon happily agrees. Bane goes to Candy to tell her that the villains need to stick together, she agrees and they grab Maeva. She is initially reluctant, not trusting Bane, but she agrees eventually. Mobee goes to monitor the living room like before and DJ flies up to him. They end up chatting and realize they enjoy each other. At the nomination ceremony, Splaatz has decided to put up DJ and Dirk, saying how he doesn’t want to make too much waves and this seems to be the way to do it best. Dirk is unamused and DJ is frightened. Echo gets suspicious of Bane and shares his thoughts with Nickels, they pull in Carlos to form an anti-villain alliance. Benedict eavesdrops and plans his next move. He goes up to Nickels and makes up how Dirk must be playing the villain this time, because he is acting weird. Nickels considers his approach but ultimately decides to trust him as an alliance member. At the veto, Carlos, Echo, and Mobee all play but it comes down to Carlos and Splaatz. Splaatz ends up winning again but while actually trying and is exuberant! DJ pleads with him but he ultimately keeps his noms the same.
After the veto ceremony, Benedict tells DJ to do as he says and trust him, as Gigi did. She agrees and starts buttering up to the villains. She gets Candy to be even nicer to the house and apologize to Splaatz. She also helps Bane create a new game. Meanwhile, Benedict starts prodding Dirk and Day, causing them to be at odds with each other. Dirk eventually snaps and lashes out at Day, shocking everyone. Maeva can tell something fishy is happening but rolls with it since it is week one. At the eviction ceremony in the glittering colosseum, the two nominees tell why they should stay. Dirk is more bitter while DJ stays heartfelt, convincing everyone but a suspicious Maeva. In the end, by a vote of 12 to 1… Dirk, you have been evicted.
Week 2: The next HOH is a high flying roulette-themed obstacle course, based off of the Neon Colosseum’s roulette rules. DJ and Mobee work together to get to the end but Nickels keeps up with them. In the final stretch, Mobee sees Nickels catching up and throws DJ, giving her just enough of an edge to win the HOH! Nickels and Maeva both approach DJ to tell her their suspicions on Benedict’s behavior. At first, they fight, but realizing they have the same goal causes them to cut it out long enough to tell her. DJ is reluctant but Maeva reminds her how he betrayed Gigi and she is firm. Benedict and Carlos become the nominees. Day, Echo, and Maeva play in the veto and Echo actually manages to come out on top over Day. Echo talks with Nickels about saving Carlos but she is hesitant, telling him that Carlos makes a good pawn next to benedict because everyone likes Carlos. He ends up not using it. During the week, Benedict begins making breakfast early, irritating his roommate Carlos and causing him to be grumpier. Xio confronts Benedict for this, telling him he is purposefully making Carlos mad and it’s brutal. He tells her he doesn’t understand the problem if Carlos doesn’t like breakfast. She sneers but doesn’t have a comeback. The next day, Benedict holds a house meeting. He apologizes if he’s been rubbing people the wrong way but he is just trying to fit in since he is newer. Lisette says that everyone should give him a chance, which the villains, Selene, and Mobee agree with. Echo, Carlos, Nickels, and Maeva are all hesitant. At the eviction ceremony, Carlos is grumpy and bitter and doesn’t do much to defend himself. Benedict, again apologizes. In a 9 to 3 vote… Carlos is evicted.
Week 3: Several house membets are completely shocked by Carlos going home, including HOH DJ and his two allies, Nickels and Echo. Also surprised is Xio. The next HOH is an endurance comp called the floor is lava based off of the Lava Colosseum! Mobee, Splaatz, and Xio are the last three remaining. Knowing she was on the outs of the last vote, Xio fights hard to survive, fighting her pain. Splaatz eventually drops and Mobee remains with Xio. Eventually, Mobee drops and Xio wins! Xio already knows her noms. She puts up Benedict next to Selene, as she was one of the people vouching for him last round. Benedict chooses to stay back and not make too much of a scene this round, lest he blow up his cover. Meanwhile, DJ and Mobee plan how to move forward. Maeva is listening in to this convo and realizes how close they are. At the veto, a mental comp, Selene ends up winning by a landslide, saving herself. Maeva rushes to Xio about the DJ and Mobee situation, and points out how Mobee is a comp threat as well. Xio decides Mobee is a good replacement, as he is likeable and a good pawn next to Benedict. Mobee holds a house meeting and cries during it, thinking he was doing so much better at being friendly this time. Maeva calls him out for his crocodile tears and argues that he is putting on an act. Lisette calls out Maeva for being so harsh and chastises her for being such a villain. Maeva asks her if she is planning on voting for him to stay and she is silent, but says that shouldn’t matter. Maeva retorts and says it’s not jury so jury management doesn’t exist yet. At the eviction, Mobee is shaking next to a smug Benedict. Benedict’s speech touches on how Mobee doesn’t seem ready for the big leagues. The bear gets up angrily and almost picks up Benedict, shocking everyone. He stops himself and realizes what he did. The vote comes in and by a vote of 8 to 3, Mobee, you have been evicted.
Week 4: The next HOH begins as they houseguests must ascend a glimmering rock wall, themed after the Crystal colosseum. Day and Maeva take an early lead but are caught up by falling rocks. Lisette closes the gap and eventually surpasses Maeva. Day and Lisette race for the end and… Lisette win! Lisette in her HOH room ponders about who to put up and ally with. She turns to Xio, Day, and Selene as her allies. The Witch’s Coven, as they call themselves, wants to shift the focus, as Benedict is doing too well at not going home. Instead, Lisette targets Maeva, who is playing sneaky, as well as Benedict’s ally, Echo. Bane laughs at Maeva being on the block and she is enraged with him. He says “it doesn’t matter since it’s not jury yet.” Having her own words turned on her, Maeva storms out and swears she will get revenge on him and Candy. At the POV, the witches’ coven is playing with three members and Xio ends up winning! She chooses to keep the nominations the same. Splaatz goes to Lance to tell him how much it means to be there with one of his heros, but Lance mishears him and calls him out for calling him a rude name. The two get in a petty argument where Lance’s bad hearing keeps making things worse. Meanwhile, Maeva tries to get the vote off of her by spreading anti-Benedict propaganda around the house. Day has a change of heart about this and wants to vote out Echo, even while her alliance is targeting Maeva. Benedict, aware his name is still out there, pleads to DJ not to vote out his ally. At the eviction, Maeva thinks she has done enough work but the vote comes out and is a 5 to 5. The Coven is shocked, one of their own must have flipped. But Lisette gets to break the tie, and is all too happy to evict her target, Maeva.
Week 5: The next HOH is themed after the Sunset colosseum, and sees the houseguests racing to stack piles of rubble. Echo, DJ, and Xio make the highest stack but DJ’s crumbles before the time limit. Both wanting to take control, Echo and Xio try really hard to build the highest. The timer buzzes aaaand Echo is the winner! Benedict instinctively high fives Echo and celebrates with him. Later, Nickels is peeved that Echo is so publicly working with Benedict. Echo tells her she had the opportunity to have a good ally but she chose to burn that bridge and that’s her fault. Offended, she tells him to make that alliance with Benedict work out but she won’t be part of it. Echo is saddened, but doesn’t want to put Nickels up. Instead, he shifts the target to former villains, with Bane being the target and Selene going up next to him. Xio cheers that Selene could be going home, making the Lamp angry at her, since they were supposed to be working together. Benedict goes on to win the veto and vows to Echo not to use it. However, at the veto ceremony, he uses it to save Selene, shocking everyone as he winks at Xio. Echo then solidifies this by putting Xio up. Selene goes to her to tell her she is sorry for their misunderstanding but they work together. Candy turns to Lisette and tells her she is tired of working with Bane and if she helps her get the Professor out this week, she will work with her. Lisette agrees, knowing everyone wants Bane out anyways. At the eviction, Xio seemingly patches things up with everyone. The vote comes in, by a unanimous vote… Bane, you are evicted.
Double Eviction: Surprise! The Jury starts tonight and the next HOH is beginning right now with one more person leaving! A quiz colosseum is held in the Sunset colloseum, with one miss causing someone to be out of the running. It comes down to DJ, Nickels, and Lisette. But Lisette gets the last question right and the other two miss, with Lisette winning her second HOH. Lisette puts up Nickels and Day. Nickels because she is playing a lowkey game but making waves in the Benedict situation. Day because she wavered on her vote for Benedict. She doesn’t put down Benedict as he is good for drama and polarizing the house, which is good for her game. Nickels wins the veto and takes herself off. Lisette decides to put up Splaatz, because she is worried he will fumble his way to the end. Most people seem to share this idea except for Echo, who wants to wotk with Splaatz. The vote comes in. By a vote of 7 to 1… Splaatz, you have been evicted and will be moving into the jury house.
Week 6: The Next HOH begins as a race through the mysterious mansion in the courtyard colosseum. No one can tell where anyone is but Candy comes out first and wins! As HOH, Candy calls in Benedict. She tells him he has been playing a sloppy and obvious villain game and he is gonna get evicted too soon if he doesn’t simmer down and get some real allies. He is shocked and admits he just wants to win. She says they all do and the least they can do is help each other. She says she will help him if he keeps causing more chaos and also gets DJ on their side. He agrees and talks to DJ. The squirrel is hesitant but decides it would be a great way of getting revenge on Benedict if she gets the chance. Candy puts up Lance as the pawn next to her target, Xio, who has been against Benedict’s chaos this whole game. DJ goes on to win the veto and chooses to not give Candy any suspicion by not using it. Meanwhile, the witches coven fractures, with Day not agreeing with Lisette and Xio feeling not supported on the block by Selene. DJ infiltrates this meeting after storms out, telling them about Xio being the real target but she has a plan to keep her without drawing suspicion if they can get Day to play nice. Xio borrows an item from Lisette and breaks it. Lisette then goes to “rant” to Day, who is being nice with her, thinking they both will vote Xio. Echo, meanwhile, confirms his alliance with Benedict, and feels like he is finally gaining more traction. But the house takes this the wrong way. At the eviction, the vote comes in, and by a vote of 4 to 3… Lance, you have been evicted.
Week 7: The next HOH begins, a waterfall diving competition, based off of the Waterfall Colosseum. Whoever makes the biggest splash wins! With her natural watery prowess, Day dives in and wins the HOH! Day is approached in the HOH by Candy and Benedict, who ask her to work with them. DJ sees whats happening and goes back to Lisette and Selene. The two talk and realize that they can’t beat Benedict’s control of the house by just going against him, but they have to work with him. So the three of DJ, Lisette, and Selene enter the HOH “accidentally” and propose the six will control the house. They say they want Echo to go on the block, as he is getting too good at the comps. Benedict is hesitant but Candy nudges him, as secretly this will be great for her game. He agrees and tells Day he won’t be mad if this happens. Echo goes up next to Nickels. The two former allies face off in the veto, both bitterly making jabs at the other for turning on them. It comes down to just the two nominees and… Echo edges her out, winning the veto. Echo saves himself and puts the power in Day’s hands to put up a replacement. Her choice is the person not in her alliance who has made affronts to her, Xio. Lisette has the whole house do tarot readings to ease the tension which goes down well. Lisette gets the Sun, a symbol of positivity and creativity. Benedict draws the Moon, symbolizing Illusion and inner conflict. He shudders when the white moon of the card turns red in his hands. Echo draws the Fool, a card of new beginnings but also endings. Selene draws death, the card of change in the game. Nickels draws the Hermit, a card of isolation and reflection. Candy draws the Lovers, with the card representing connections and pairs, symbolizing her manipulation of Benedict. Day draws Strength, a card of inner strength and Willpower. Xio draws the Tower, representing sudden downfall and incredible sudden changes. She shudders and uses the moment to apologize to everyone, saying she wants to be a beacon of hope but got lost. The house receives this well. Benedict considers flipping to Xio because of her show of faith being bad but Candy reminds him that Xio is on the bottom of the pecking order on that side, likely meaning they don’t even have to take her out. He relents and the eviction goes through. The vote comes in and by a vote of 5 to 1, Nickels you have been evicted.
Week 8: The Next HOH begins in the Sunny Park colosseum, with contestants having to hunt for pellets and use them to knock out targets. DJ and Echo prove the most adept but in a last second victory, Echo wins. Benedict goes to Echo in the HOH but Echo has realized too late that Benedict is working with everybody, even causing him to turn on Nickels. Benedict doesn’t try to hide his smug smirk as he agrees and walks out, daring him to put him on the block. He feels this must be hiding something and starts asking around the house for their opinions. Xio reveals the existence of the Witches Coven, and how they have been together for weeks, including saving her last week. Knowing of this alliance, Echo saves Xio and puts up Selene and Day. At the veto, Selene wins. Selene approaches Echo, telling him she knows of someone playing both sides, revealing DJ trying to play double agent. After she pulls herself off the block, DJ goes up as the replacement. Candy works on ingratiating herself with the outsiders in Xio and Echo, trying to forge paths ahead. But is unsuccessful at breaking Echo. Echo is accosted by DJ for putting her up over Benedict. He asks her to say why she was double crossing and she says its because she was trying to sabotage Benedict. If anything, Day, Selene, and Lisette should be the real double agents. Echo goes to rage to Selene for how she tricked him but she swears it was the truth completely, and he chose to believe it in a negative light, not her. Day joins the fight and lashes out at Xio and Selene for being the reason she is on the block. Lisette stays out of it, knowing the time to jump ship is coming up. At the eviction, Dj and DayJay give their pleas, but the votes are tallied. By a unanimous vote… Dayley-Jane, you have been evicted.
Double Eviction!!: Second double eviction because you know we gotta! The HOH starts with a lightning round of dodgeball on wooden poles. Selene is knocked out first. Then DJ gets knocked out by Candy. Lisette falls off on her own. Xio goes after Benedict but is taken out by Candy. Then Candy expertly dodges and takes out Benedict, winning the HOH. She nominates the two people who are on the bottom of the pecking order, Echo and Xio. The veto plays out with Benedict winning. Echo pleads for Benedict to help him out, as they were friends. Benedict doesn’t even look him in the eye as he chooses to not play the veto. Echo pleads to the voters to let him keep playing and he will take out Benedict, but Lisette and Selene have basically already jumped ship and moved on. The vote comes in, and by a vote of 4 to 0… Echo, you have been evicted.
Week 9: With Six houseguests remaining, they are taken to the Gateway colosseum to have mock Pokemon battles. In the first round, Xio beats Lisette and Selene beats DJ, with Benedict drawing a spot in the top 3. In a first to win two times in a row scenario, Selene beats both and comes out victorious. Selene and Lisette decide that they have to cut ties and work with the more devious players to have a better shot at the end. Selene puts up DJ and Xio, with DJ being the target. Benedict is alone in his room when he hallucinates more blood on his paws. He shouts and Xio comes in to see whats up. She helps him calm down and he realizes he is down a bad path. She helps him calm down and he thanks her, even with him harassing her all game she still helped him. Candy witnesses the two help each other out and is beyond irritated, she goes to Selene, who is still iffy on Xio, to warn her. At the veto, Candy wins it. She takes off DJ and Selene spitefully puts up Benedict, who trembles going to the block. Lisette confronts Selene for making such a rushed decision, as the goal was to keep Benedict and his threat around longer. At the eviction, Benedict argues that he has realizes how the game has changed him and he wants to prove how he changed. Lisette doesn’t believe him but DJ seems to be enamored. The vote comes in, and by a vote of 2 to 1… Xio you have been evicted.
Week 10: Five stars remain and there are five points in the Stars of the Main Street colosseum, where the houseguests go to do a full BPBB quiz! Lisette misses one question and gets behind as the other get ahead. It comes down to a tie-breaker between Dj and Benedict and the winner is… DJ! Benedict goes to apologize to DJ for real and she forgives him, happy to see his true self back again. She feels played by Selene and Candy so they go on the block. Lisette is still suspicious of Benedict and starts watching him for suspicious activity, noticing him look at his paws a lot. She decides to talk to him with the ruse of working together. At the veto, DJ wins again and claims her game, choosing not to use the veto. Realizing the danger they are in, Selene and Candy go to their respective closest allies, Benedict and Lisette. The two touch base with Benedict telling Lisette he is fine voting Candy with her, as he doesn’t want to force DJ to have to break a tie. At the eviction, the votes are read and by a vote of 2 to 0… Selene, you have been evicted. Benedict looks over at Lisette with a shocked look, realizing she caught on to him.
Week 10: As the final HOH starts, the houseguest are in the Stargazer colosseum for an epic triathlon of quizzes, endurance, and races. In the first part, Benedict pulls ahead, with Lisette on his tail. He falls behind in part two, giving Lisette and Candy a chance to catch him. The three are neck and neck in part three but Lisette comes out on top! Benedict goes to Lisette on her HOH to grovel but she stops him, saying she misheard the vote last week and though the vote was for Selene anyways so its good he didn’t make poor DJ break the tie. He feels reassured and goes back out. Lisette puts up DJ and Candy as the nominees. Lisette reassures DJ about how Benedict likes her and she wouldn’t go home. Benedict touches base with Lisette, claiming that he knows DJ has too much social traction and needs to go next because of this. On his way out, Candy enters the room and chats with Lisette. She says that the noms should stay the same so DJ can be evicted for sure this week. Lisette doesn’t trust her and tells her to her face she is no better than Benedict, but is powerless without him. The two stare each other down. At the veto, Lisette wins it, and Benedict sighs a sigh of relief. But Lisette shocks everyone by saving Candy and puts up Benedict. Lisette calls him out for faking his turnaround to play with everyone’s emotions. He breaks down, claiming his intense want, no, NEED to win the game. He can’t get it out of his head and it burdens him with the thoughts of betrayal, including the allies he betrayed this season, with Nickels, Echo, and even Xio who showed him so much kindness leaving because of him. DJ is in tears and even Candy can’t watch. Afterwards, Benedict goes to his only real ally, Candy. He begs her for advice on how to get out of this, as she helped him so much. She looks him in the eye as she tells him that he did this to himself. At the eviction, Candy gets the sole vote to evict and casts it to evict, Benedict.
The Reunion: Folks we are live again right outside the Neon Colosseum for the Finale of Bunny’s Pokémon Big Brother Champion Royale! Our Sixteen winners have been whittled down to three and it is not what we expected at all! In a house where everyone wants to be the biggest truck on the highway, we have three mid-sized sedans who have slipped through the gaps and swept their way to the end. DJ VOLT SWITCH, Elesa’s iconic Emolga who created the jams we are listening to even right now! She plays up her social game very well with honesty and loyalty, but is no slouch in the competitions. Though she has been left out of some secrets in the game, she was well=liked in the house and leveraged her position between alliances to get information! Sweet Candy the Wigglytuff who played Sickly Sweet last but downright Sick this time. She got in close with all of the villains but managed to be the cherry flavored licorice that was easier to manage. She avoided detection aligning with big villain Benedict and hiding behind the scenes of his chaos, even almost controlling his moves at points. The Sunstone herself, LISETTE the Solrock, who foresaw victory once, but is this a double reading? Lisette bided her time throughout the game, getting whatever information she could and waiting to play it until the time was right. She was at the center of multiple alliances but always stayed just far enough away from the drama that no one was even targeting her. The Sun? No Lisette is after The World!
Joining us on stage now are the 9 jurors! Starting with Splaatz—Ope watch your step, you gotta be careful or else you’ll trip. Here comes Lance the OG! Though he is old he is still our knight in shining armor. Nickels struts up so casually ooh lala. Here comes Echo, kind of sheepishly, don’t be shy buddy! Day gracefully swims up on stage, still to audience cheering. Wait, the cheering is getting louder? Oh it’s Xio! She is surprisingly well-received. Selene keeps the applause growing. She seems to be goading the audience on with her behavior, not wanting to stay out of the spotlight hmm. And then—oh wow I can’t hear anything with the thunder of the crowd for… Benedict? Interesting outcome here that our little villain has become a real crowd pleaser. Even as he walks to his seat with his head held low.
The jurors speak with our lovely reporter. Lance speaks about how great it was to come back and how this game is way changed from when he won season 1. Xio and Nickels agree, but they still worked hard to adapt to the changes. Selene scoffs a bit, another early winner, she notes that herself and Candy were very well integrated, they just needed to change their approach. Xio says it was much harder playing from the bottom rather than the top and it was a fight, but she had a ton of fun doing so. Day mentions she felt the same way. A house full of winners is not to be underestimated for a second, as they all could be planning many different things behind each other’s backs. Splaatz is—oh he’s asleep… moving on. Nickels asks Echo about how he changed his game this time, and why he turned on her. He apologizes, saying he was blinded by seeing opportunities with Benedict because he didn’t fight with him, only told him what he wanted to hear. And he realized too late that that was a ruse. She accepts his apologies and all eyes turn to Benedict. He looks up, seemingly just noticing eyes are on him. He looks down at his paws. “All I’ve seen since last season is blood on my paws. The need to win never left me. I had to do it at all cost. I lost myself in that game and resorted to every trick in the book to make the winners trust me. And it worked… but I fell deeper and deeper down the hole. And now, I don’t feel like I deserved to win at all.” Xio jumps up and makes him look up. “You deserved your win as much as we all deserved ours. It’s a game, it doesn’t have to define you. You define you, so get up and prove it.” Benedict is in disbelief that Xio is still defending him. “You hear that crowd? They were entertained, we entertained them! Your devioushness entertained them! You gave them a show by tricking a bunch of winners, so own up to it and be the entertainer we know you are.” He gives off a small, barely noticeable,but definitely real this time, smile. Xio turns to the crowd “ARE YOU GUYS READY FOR OUR FINAL THREE???” The crowd erupts in excitement!! “THEN GET READY BECAUSE HERE THEY ARE!!”
Final HOH Part 1: The HOH opens on top of the rotating Roulette wheel in the Neon Colosseum, with the audience now filled and the three houseguests circling in the middle, holding on for dear life. At the same time, they are throwing dodgeballs at each other. Candy is targeting Lisette out of spite, putting on a performance for the audience about how Lisette is a traitor to their alliance. DJ is caught in the crossfire but expertly dodges. She manages to catch a ball that Candy threw and chucks it back, knocking her out. Lisette smiles at DJ but DJ knows she still has to win. She tells Lisette she is sorry but she is done working with people and has to take her game into her own hands, not relying on others to fail but herself to succeed. Lisette agrees, but she wants to be the one to succeed. Lisette lobs a ball at Dj and knocks her out, winning Part 1.
Final HOH Part 2: Part begins with Candy and DJ on the Rotating Roulette platform again, racing around to land the colored balls in order of the competitions and the winners of each one. DJ takes an early lead, having been very aware of the game the whole beginning. Candy struggles at first but when she catches up to leaving the villains alliance and joining Benedict, she takes off, knowing how well she played Benedict as her own puppet that she controlled votes for that she easily crushes the midgame part. Her lead takes her ahead on time going into the endgame. DJ misses a key vote and has to go back, but Candy remembers who saved Benedict countless times, and gets it right, winning part 2.
Final HOH Part 3: The crowd is in uproars as Candy and Lisette reach the stage for final quiz, again on our roulette platform (we paid a lot of money for that). Each juror question goes by, with Lisette and Candy answering in tandem, Both get question after question correct, eventually reaching the last question about Benedict. The crowd is shocked as they both answer together again and… get it wrong. Well, that’s anticlimactic. Benedict sighs, no one knew his true self. But the tie-breaker is revealed, how many rotations has the rotating platform made? With both answering two numbers away from each other, Candy goes just over, eliminating her, and crowning Lisette the final HOH. Lisette has both DJ and Candy in front of her. She doesn’t say much but looks at them. She says that DJ played an impeccable social game and is incredibly loved by the fans and the house. Candy, meanwhile, played a strategic game and almost fooled her a couple times. She turns to Candy “I made a gamble with bringing a social threat to the end before with Amni, but not this time. Candy, let’s give em a show.” And casts her vote to evict DJ.
The Jury Questioning: DJ isn’t shocked, she did a lot this time around and knew she made herself a bigger threat. She exits the house and gets cheers from the audience! She hops to the DJ booth and begins playing the final epic track for the showdown between Candy and Lisette. Both have been in this position before in the final 2 and both have won, but now, only one can become a two-time winner and be crowned the ultimate Champion! Lisette opens with her speech first. She pitches her game strong, how she gravitated towards groups in the early game without committing too strongly, so she didn’t go down with the ship. She still managed to control so many votes in the house by having reach with her Witches Coven and eventually jumping ship and siding with Benedict, as she knew he was under Candy’s thumb and she could infiltrate that alliance to get to the end and destroy it. The jury is impressed by her showing and all eyes turn to Candy. Candy starts saying how she knew her game was already known going into the house and she had to play different. Her main strategy was to fall into the background and connect with the players playing sloppier than her so she could be the puppetmaster and sneak to the end. And for her, that was found in Benedict, who she found it very easy to manipulate. She is the villain they all knew she was but she wasn’t targeted because of her great strategy. She saved Benedict’s game and carried him to the end so that she could have a guaranteed extra life in the endgame with him. Murmurs arise from the jury, Benedict looks incredibly hurt. Xio asks Candy what her biggest move was outside of controlling Benedict. Candy says that she made sure that the villains she worked with got cut before she could get too powerful, even working with Lisette to get out Bane and Maeva. DJ gets up from the booth and asks Lisette why she went to the end with Candy instead of her if she thought Candy was going to be tougher. Lisette clarifies that she thought Candy would be good at explaining her game, but she knows not to rely on other’s failing but on herself to succeed, and DJ has a great story and was well-loved and if she wanted to win, she had to cut DJ and masterfully explain her game to the jury. Benedict finally speaks up to ask Candy if he meant anything to her at all throughout the game. She hesitates, caught off guard, before replying in all honesty that, she wanted to mentor him to be a better player. He says he did well enough for making it to the end twice and didn’t need her to do all that. In their final speeches, Candy says that she used other people as her pawns and navigated a really good game to make it to the end hidden amongst the other players. Lisette says that she played a perfect game, not even touching the block and noting that she has not received a vote against her in either of her games, this one being perfect. She finishes by saying how she played more up front and aggressive to counter the sneakier players of the season and did not back down from the threats that all the winners possessed. The jury is impressed and goes to cast their votes.
Jury Voting: Splaatz says he had a fun time playing again and wants to vote for someone who played really good, even showing him more how to play. Lance says that while some people are old school, some people are REALLY old school, but can still play with the best of the best and be even better. Nickels says she is honored to be in the winners season but one winner played like how she thinks a winner should. Day says she worked with both finalists, but she always felt the house pulling towards one player, as the sun has a lot of gravity and control over the tides. Echo says point blank that he felt the manipulation from both sides, but one felt malicious, and another felt like game, and he knows which he respects more. Xio says that some lines shouldn’t be crossed. Selene says that she was honored to be so thoroughly outplayed, turning from the Queen to the Pawn who was merely a stepping stone in someone elses game, it was thrilling. Benedict silently casts his vote. DJ cues the final tune before hopping down with her vote, saying that it should be obvious. The votes come in… by a vote of 9 to 0… the winner is…
Winner: Lisette!
Runner-Up: Candy!
Confetti cannons and flamethrowers start lighting up the sky with neon streams shining bright all over the sky! Though it is the dead of night, it is as bright as the sun, and Lisette is feeling absolutely radiant. Candy sits in shock, in disbelief. Lisette throws her the Lovers card again. “You misread it the first time so maybe you can learn before you try to tell the fortune teller what her fortune is.” Candy throws the card on the ground in anger and pouts. The jurors go and cheer for Lisette, the ultimate champion and two time winner, STILL having never received a single vote to evict in two entire seasons. The fan favorite vote comes in and… IT’S A TIE???
Fan Favorites: Benedict and Xio!!!
Benedict goes up to Candy, still fuming, and looks her in the eyes. “You know what, you really did teach me something. You taught me that some people never change, but I don’t have to be one of them.” Xio comes up and takes Benedict back to the celebration, sticking her tongue out at Candy as she leaves. The party goes through the night. The sun eventually rises, as Lisette has risen to the top of the competition, as this era of Bunny’s Pokemon Big Brother has come to an end.
My Thoughts: I enjoyed this season a lot. It kept me on the edge as the winners played their games again, some way better than others. Gameplay-wise, I think I preferred last season but I think it’s more so because of the subtle moves made in the dark as no one wanted to be too big of a target. The villains ended up flopping early, which kind of was to be expected, given that everyone else is a relaly smart player to have won. Candy surprised me this time, sneaking in to take over Benedict, being a key player in his storyline, even a bigger villain than he tried to be. It really helped me tie up the storyline really well and I like how it happened. She also played a stellar game again, controlling things from the chaos in the shadows. The other side of the house was not slouching though. Lisette, Selene, Xio, and Day all played smart games, not committing too much to each other but still working well enough to not crumble. Lisette as a winner for this season is great! She put in work to keep her position, as it was in danger of falling apart so much. She leveraged every ally she had and every competition she had to get forward every week. And it worked as she got to the end without hitting the block AGAIN and played a PERFECT game, not receiving a single vote to evict and getting every vote to win. She did that in a winner season too, ultimate winner for sure!
So whats next? Well... that's the end. I knew since the beginning that Season 17 would be the end but it coming up still feels so weird. I am about to start a busy summer and don't have as much time for all of my hobbies but I still feel sad finishing this series. I think I am going to make a series epilogue soon so stay tuned for that but... otherwise that's it. I thank you all again so much for sticking with me the whole time, it's been a wonderful journey!

Me and Lila always carved dozens of jack o’ lanterns every October, so they’d absolutely saturate our lawn on Halloween night. It was our thing. But looking back on it, now that I’ve lost her, I just feel bad for the pumpkins. I almost relate to them, somehow. The way they were carved up, had everything of substance inside of them torn out, and left as hollow, rotting shells with forced smiles.
Needless to say, I didn’t cope with her death well. I didn’t want to cope with it. I wanted the world to drown in the black sludge of my grief. I loathed the people I saw going about their lives, unaware that the world had already ended the moment Lila died. The Earth shouldn’t keep spinning. Life shouldn’t go on. Not without her.
Even my relatives bringing me along on a trip to Kauai only made it worse. The most gorgeous place on Earth, and it made me sick with hatred. Nothing that beautiful deserved to exist if Lila wasn’t ever going to get to see it. It wasn’t fair.
I thought I’d never enjoy or care about anything again. Then I discovered media preservation.
It started with taking some of Lila’s old VHS tapes to a video repair place to fix some issues with the footage before it’s digitized. The job fascinated me. In a universe based on entropy, where everything inevitably fades away and is forgotten… restoring something lost is like snatching it from the jaws of death, right? Like flipping the bird to the universe and its so-called ‘natural order’. People die, but information doesn’t have to.
Now, it doesn’t matter how small — be it some god-awful plug-and-play licensed game, or a cereal commercial from 80’s — it’s my mission to recover it in as high a quality as I’m able, and make sure it’s freely available online for as long as possible.
A couple weeks ago, I came across a big haul. Four boxes of old VHS tapes offered up on E-Bay for dirt cheap. Most of the tapes were just recordings of Cheers episodes already preserved in higher qualities, but one Maxell E-240 caught my interest.
First of all, I’d never seen one so melted. Sure, sometimes they were left in an attic too long, and the colors and audio start to degrade. But this one looked like it had survived a house fire. It was covered in soot and the smell of smoke, and had the overall shape of a chocolate bar left out in the sun a little too long.
Second was the label, which read in neat sharpie: ᴇᴘɪꜱᴏᴅᴇ 4,679,329 ᴍᴀʀ 8 2035.
The casing was so disfigured, I had to bust it apart just pull out the tapes and respool them in a fresh cassette. I tried to iron out the creases in the tape as best I could, but I had no illusions about it accomplishing much — the mylar surface had been irreparably warped in places by whatever fire had half-melted the thing.
Imagine my despair at the sight of that dreaded ‘ɴᴏ ꜱɪɢɴᴀʟ’. I could clearly see the tape wasn’t blank, yet no amount of adjusting the tracking or trying different TVs or VCRs accomplished anything. Just as I was about to give up, though, the thing just suddenly started playing properly at the exact instant the clock struck 3 AM, as if it had only now decided to work. My all-nighter had paid off.
I didn’t dwell on the fact that this ‘miracle fix’ had been impossible. If I’d had any sense, I’d have torn the horrid thing out of my VCR and buried it beneath holy ground. Instead, fool I was, I sat down and watched.
At first, the thing seemed unwatchable. The audio was so distorted that the show’s theme song emerged as a low, crackling, staticky wail that made my head throb, and the logo was completely indistinguishable through the flickering and interference. I thought it was a lost cause for a moment. But then a figure appeared and cleared away the static, like Moses parting the Red Sea.
It was the sight of the show’s host that hooked me. He was just… perfect. Perfect in every way. I knew it just looking at him. Infinitely handsome and likable and charismatic, and he always said the exact perfect thing. The only issue is, I don’t remember a single thing about him now, in the same way you can’t remember a dream that seemed so clear to you while you were experiencing it. He just appears in my memory as this abstract blur in a sharp suit. Yet at the time, I was awestruck, even before he said a single word.
I can’t even remember a word he said. It was like he was speaking another language, one I felt as opposed to heard. I’ll try and transcribe it as best I can into words, but know that it’s only a pathetic imitation.
“... for another night of laughs, prizes, and fun for the whole family, with your host, #####!” I noticed that the audio and visual distortion seemed to suddenly intensify the instant he said his name, rendering it completely illegible. Idiot I was, I figured that was a coincidence. “Tonight is a night of celebration, folks, because thanks to the support of loyal viewers like you, we have just been approved for, get this: two hundred thousand more seasons!”
The “live studio audience” went wild with applause. I put that in scare quotes because, as far as I could tell, besides the host, the studio seemed completely empty. As if he was standing on a plain white stage that extended outwards into infinite darkness on all sides.
“For those just joining us, the game here is simple…” He explained that this was some sort of a trivia show. Every time a guest got an answer wrong, it brought them a little closer to some sort of unspecified ‘punishment’. And if they got it right? He smirked. “Well, they get to delay the inevitable.”
I wondered what he meant by ‘inevitable’. I didn’t have to wonder long.
The host gestured to a curtain that hadn’t been there moments ago, which raised to reveal a middle-aged man. You know the type — bushy mustache, gray hair, round-rimmed glasses. Kind of guy you’d have doing your plumbing. He couldn’t look any more out of place stood up and restrained in that — what the hell is that?
I recognized that metal coffin-looking thing from a medieval torture museum I went to once. The iron maiden. The lid hung open, countless long, needle-like blades poking inwards, threaten to poke a million new holes in him if it was shut.
His situation was not lost on him. “Where… where am I? What the hell is this!?”
“Oh, lucky guess!” The host ‘joked’. More canned laughter. “I know you always loved watching those trivia shows, Malcolm? Weren’t you always sitting there, grinding your teeth, seething that it wasn’t fair? That you should be the one up on stage, winning big?”
The man paused. Even he seemed mesmerized by the unreal perfection of the host before him. “I… this is a… game show?”
“All you have to do is answer a few questions! Think you can handle that, Malcolm?” He pulled out a cue card without waiting for an answer. “And our first question! What were you doing the night of February 18th, 1998?”
The man seemed baffled. “Just… sat on my couch watching the NFL, I think? I’m not sure how I’m supposed to remember —“
He let out a startled squeal as a horrid buzzer sounded. On cue, the lid slid a third of the way closed, making him flinch. “Oooh, I’m afraid that’s the wrong answer, Frank! But you know what? I’ll give you one more chance. What were you —“
“Following a girl home!” The man cried out. “F-from the bar. There, are you happy?”
“Cor-rect!” The canned audience began cheering! “Such honesty! Now, our second question: just what were you carrying while you followed her?”
He hesitated for a little too long. And then the buzzer sounded again, and the lid slid so near to closing that its blades began poking uncomfortably against his skin. He tried to press himself against the back of the maiden as well as his restraints would allow. “Jesus! Okay! A knife, a knife!”
“Awww, if only you’d said that just a second earlier!” Another big question. “Our third question: why, Malcolm? Why did you do it?”
That set Malcolm off. He started thrashing, clawing, screaming. “Let me out of this thing, you maniac! You can’t do this to me! Do you know who I am? Is this some sort of sick joke? My lawyers will have your head for this, you—“
And then the buzzer. All of a sudden, the lid slammed shut full-force, and the man was utterly silenced save for an unnatural, drawn-out wheeze. “Another wrong answer, Malcolm! I’m afraid I was looking for: ‘because if I can’t have her, no one can’!”
I admit it. I laughed. Out of shock more than anything. How was this allowed on TV? I took it as some sort of dark comedy show, and it was kind of satisfying to see that freaky character get his comeuppance. Still, there was something unnerving to me, seeing the man’s eyes through the openings in the maiden. Wide and red and terrified. They just looked a little… too real.
But the maiden disappeared as quickly as it came, before I could dwell on it too much. “Oh, envy! Definitely one of my favorite sins.” More laughter. “Stay tuned, folks! We’ve still got a night of fun and games in store for you! But first… how’s about a word from our sponsors?”
Cut to a corporate logo which I again couldn't recognize.
“This segment was made possible by Buer Health, which has recently announced a brilliant new initiative to protect our citizens from skin cancer by removing their skin completely.”
The camera cut to a massive industrial building, resembling a solid concrete cube around 50 meters in width and height. Its surface bore arcane symbols etched using carvings of wailing, tormented faces. The host would occasionally be rendered inaudible by a deafening metallic scraping from within, though he didn’t seem to notice. The only protrusion from the building’s cubic shape was a single smokestack, belching a scarlet red smoke into the atmosphere. A queue of gaunt figures waited at the entrance, herded and coerced by their grim overseers, and there were no words to describe the procession of scarlet ghouls limping out the building’s other end.
“Owing to the nonlinearity of time, the brand new Grand Skinpeeling Machine has spontaneously appeared several years before construction deadlines, and indeed, before it was even conceived of by anyone in our timeline. People have rushed all the way from Malebolge just to try this miracle of technology out on opening day, and so far, the reviews have been stellar!”
He shoved his microphone in the face of a shambling thing that could only scarcely be called a human. Tatters of flesh clung to its exposed musculature, blowing in the wind. Its eyes were the only hint of color in that sea of bloody red, and they were wide, white and terrified. The thing screamed and wailed for as long as it could before the last tendons connecting its jaw to its face snapped, and it was left to choke and gurgle.
“An amazing wail! The results speak for themselves, folks. The Grand Skinpeeling Machine is a hit!”
So far, I was still laughing along and having a good time. The sight of the next ‘guest’, however, started making me nervous.
It was an old lady.
She couldn’t be a day younger than sixty, the sort of sweet elderly woman who in a just world would be cooking chocolate chip cookies for her grandchildren in a comfy cottage somewhere. But here she was, tied to a metal chair, eyes wide, shaking like a leaf. Unlike the last contestant, she seemed to know exactly what was happening.
“In exchange for our loving endorsement, they’ve agreed to loan us one of their star employees. Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for: the Liqisma!”
Something slunk from the darkness far behind her — or perhaps it’d be more apt to say that the darkness birthed it whole-cloth. It was like a living shadow, and it took my eyes a moment to register what I was even seeing.
How do I even begin describing this creature? I could say it looked almost human, or at least like something that may have been human long ago. Or I could start with its skin, which was all black and shiny as latex and seemingly smooth on first glance, but if you looked closer you’d realize it was covered in a million tiny reptilian scales, almost like a shark. Its head was a bald man’s, utterly devoid of any distinguishing features, like the basic stock template for a human being. It was notable only for a complete lack of pupils and irises, its eyes a pure white.
Its body defied basic biology in so many key ways, I had to stare it at for what felt like an eternity just to wrap my mind around its physiology. It was at least five or six meters long, by my estimate, composed of multiple human torsos stacked one on top of the other like segments of a centipede, each melding with the ones around it at the waist and shoulders. Each torso sported a pair of short, stubby arms that propelled it with terrifying grace. It ended with a pair of human legs, perpetually bent on their knees, beneath a ‘tail’ that looked more like its coccyx was poking free from its body.
The old last could clearly hear it, and kept futilely trying to turn her head around enough to get a peek at what stood behind her. I mouthed uselessly, don’t. You don’t want to know.
“Glad you could join us again, Miss Wethersby! Judging by our ratings last week, you seemed to have been a fan favorite!”
Her voice was so soft, I could barely hear it below the static. “Oh, God. Please, why won’t you people let me go? I’ve told you, I’ve never done anything, never hurt anybody. There must be some sort of—”
He waved a hand over her, and it seemed to forcefully snap her mouth shut. “Please, Miss Wethersby, save your breath for our questions!” Another cue card. “Your first question, my friend: where did you and your husband buy your first home?”
She had to think about it for a long time. Eventually, she cried out, “Alabama! Tuscaloosa, Alabama!”
“Ding ding ding! Why, you’re already doing better than our first contestant! Next question: what breed of dog was your childhood pet?”
She had a pained look on her face as she thought. Eventually, a timer started ticking down. It wasn’t visible, so it wasn’t clear how much time she had left exactly, but the sound it made got more shrill and high-pitched with every second. “Miss Wethersby, need I remind you that we have a time limit on this show?”
A tear ran down her cheek. “I… I keep telling you people, I don’t know. I have dementia, I can’t remember, please—”
That buzzer again. “I’m afraid that was the wrong answer! Liqisma?” The old lady shuddered at the sounds of hundreds of feet drawing a little closer to her. “Now, your first grandchild. What did he look like? What color were his eyes? His hair?”
She was crying harder now, like it hurt her that she couldn’t remember something so dear to her. “I told you I can’t remember! Why are you doing this to me!?”
“If you don’t remember them, why would they remember you?” The host mocked as the buzzer sounded, and the beast drew a little closer. “Really, do you believe they still even think about you? Or do you think they’re glad that the old bag of bones isn’t there sucking up their inheritance?”
This went on for… God, it could have been an hour. I was glued to the screen all the while, frozen with terror, praying for this nightmare to just end, for her to make it out okay somehow. He poured over every little detail of the life she lived and the people she loved, delighting in how little of it she could still recall.
And the thing grew closer, and closer… until she finally felt multiple pairs of hands resting upon her shoulders. The thing was looming over her now, and a long, black tongue a few feet in length emerged from its mouth and ran trails of dark saliva over the back of her head. She looked broken down, eyes raw from crying, and I could tell by the dampness of her dress that she’d wet herself.
“Now, Miss Wethersby, our time here has been fun, but I do believe it is time for our final question. Tell me, what is the name… of your only son?”
She couldn’t even answer anymore. She just stared ahead, like her mind was a million miles away. He cackled as the buzzer sounded one final time, and threw his cue cards aside. “Thank you for playing, Miss Wethersby. Better luck next time.”
I would say the thing unhinged its jaw like a snake, but that’d be an understatement. The way the thing’s face malformed and wrinkled and stretched as it opened its maw, it no longer looked even remotely human. Its jaws must have parted at least thirty centimeters apart, revealing a second, pharyngeal pair of jaws that lashed out and gripped the woman’s skull, pulling her headlong into that darkness.
I could hear bones crunching and snapping as its throat constricted down around her body, peristaltic muscles compacting her into a meat slurry, bit by bit. Yet she just wouldn’t die. Even as her skull and upper body were already crushed and compacted, organs and muscles pressed into mulch, she still kicked her legs, twitched her fingers, let out a gurgling that must have been some attempt at screaming. She was squirming even as the beast snapped its jaw shut around the last of her, condemning her to whatever torments awaited her inside the creature.
And all the while, that horrible laughter. “Don’t worry, folks! She’ll be back next week! And the next. And the next…”
Needless to say, I wasn’t having fun anymore. In fact, I had to turn away and fight the urge to throw up. I stood, about to turn the TV off and —
“Ah, ah, ah! Don’t touch that dial, now!” I froze. There was something chilling about the way he said that, staring right into the screen as if reacting to what I was doing. I hated that grin on his face. “The real show is just beginning.”
And with the barely restrained excitement of a child on Christmas morning, he yanked back another curtain, and I recognized everything.
I recognized that crappy bootleg knockoff Always Sunny in Philadelphia jacket that was so gaudy and terrible it instantly became her favorite thing in her wardrobe. I recognized those subtle hints of slight acne she disguised as fake freckles. I recognized the way her gray eyes would remind me of those overcast mornings at the beach at Hilton Head and pointing out all the cannonball jellyfish washed up on the sands. I recognized that tattoo of the name ʀᴏᴄᴋʏ, how I’d held her all night long as she cried into my shirt after her childhood cat had died.
It was Lila.
I shuddered, gasped, fell from my seat as if I’d been punched in the stomach and the air had been knocked out of me. I couldn’t breathe. This couldn’t be real. I was dreaming right now. I must be. I just had to wake up.
But I couldn’t wake up. Nothing I could do dispelled the sight of her curled up in that… that thing. That bronze statue of a bull, horns jutting on either side of a head that roaring silently up at the heavens, all while the love of my life was locked in its hollowed out belly, visible only through a pane of glass. I could hear her cry out in shock at where she’d found herself, and every whimper felt like it drove a knife through my chest.
The host soaked in the moment. It was ecstasy for him, the suffering of it all. He stared dead into the camera like he was looking right at me as she called, “What is this? Where am I?”
“Why, I have good news, my dear Lila! You’re exactly where every American dreams of being: you’re on TV.” He pointed to the camera. “And we have a very special guest in the audience tonight. Your very own beloved Jackson!”
I shuddered, hearing my own name ooze from his fetid lips. His façade of perfection was slipping, and there was something so profoundly ugly beneath it. Her eyes snapped to the camera, confused, despairing. “Jackson? Baby? What — what’s happening? What is this?”
I don’t know, I thought, gripping the sides of the TV so hard my knuckles turned white, but I’m going to get you out of there, baby. I’m going to find whoever did this and I’m going to bury them all so far beneath that studio that they’ll never-
“I’m afraid Jackson hasn’t joined us quite yet, my dear. But if you truly love him, surely you’ll give him a show to remember, won’t you?” He taunted her. “All I want, after all, is to ask you a few questions! In fact, I’ll offer you a special deal: get even a single answer right, and I’ll let you go free! But get one wrong and, well…”
On cue, a fire was lit beneath her. Small, smoldering for now, but she whimpered as she noticed the heat. We both realized in that instant what this was. By now, I was screaming things I can’t repeat here, and slamming my hands against the TV screen as if I could reach through and save her.
She bit her lip and acquiesced. Not like she had any room to argue. The host grinned and readied a cue card. “Your first question: where are you, Lila?”
“I… I don’t know. How am I supposed to know?”
“You do know, Lila. You know exactly where you are.” He smirked at her. “Here’s a free hint: what’s the last thing you remember, before you woke up here?
She thought about it… and choked back a sob, visibly shaking as the realization slowly settled in. “But… but why? I… I…”
The horrible wail of the buzzer cut her off. “Oooh, too bad! I’m afraid you’ve run out of time!”
Seemingly as if on its own, the fire doubled in size. Sparks licked the belly of the bronze bull, and began to ever-so-slowly heat the surface. She pawed around in the tight confines, searching for any reprieve from the scalding heat all around her as the metal grew hot like it’d been left out in the sun on a summer’s day. “Please! Oh, God, let me out of this thing! It hurts! It hurts!”
The host seemed to breathe in her pain as if stealing a moment’s indulgence. “Now that there is no doubt about where you are, my dear, let us proceed to the second question.” He switched to his next card. “Did you believe in God, in the end?”
“O-of course!” She pled her case as if she was being tried in court. “My entire life… every day I gave to the poor, helped the sick, did whatever I could to honor Hi-“
“I’m afraid you misunderstood my question. I asked, did you believe in him at the end? The very moment your pitiful little life was snuffed out?”
“I always believed! I’d never forsake Him!”
“Yes, yes, I know. You lived a good and holy life, didn’t you?” He cackled. “But what of the very end? You and your little husband were so excited to deliver your first little baby boy. But o, tragedy! It all went wrong, didn’t it? Your precious little boy didn’t make it through childbirth… and you followed closely behind.”
“That whole business with the botched pregnancy, it was… what do you call it? Ah, yes. A ‘test of faith’. And I’m afraid you failed. In your final moments, you watched the light fade from your child’s eyes, and you assumed — wisely, in my humble opinion — that no ‘kind’ and ‘loving’ God would allow something like that to happen.” He laughed. “Funny how after a lifetime of dutiful service, all it takes is one little mistake at the end… to bring you here. To us.”
I’d never seen such depths of despair in a person’s eyes. Such emptiness. Like with every word, he’d been scooping out another piece of her until she was hollow. And then that buzzer roared again, more shrill than ever, and I could barely see her little window through the smoke and flames. The belly of the bull was turning orange in places, and I could hear her flesh start to sizzle like meat on a grill. There are no words for the noises she made. No words at all.
“And our last, final question,” he continued. “What were your last words to your poor, beloved Jackson?”
“I love you!” I called out the answer. Bloody fingerprints stained the TV screen from my slamming my hands against it, as I screamed the answer over and over. “I love you, I love you, I love you!” At some point, I forgot that there was ever a question. I was just screaming it at her as if hoping that she could hear it, that it could bring her a modicum of comfort in that place.
The buzzer sounded again. I couldn't bring myself to look. All I could hear was the roaring of the bull, and the steam rising from its bronze nostrils.
The curtain fell. Silence drowned the sound. The host dropped all pretense that he hadn’t been speaking directly to me. “Now, Jackson. You just might be one of my new favorite audience members this show had ever had. I know this must have been hard for you. But if you’ll just stay tuned, I have one more show I know you’re certain to love!”
I didn’t bother to touch the remote. After all, nothing could be worse than what I’d just seen, right?
Wrong. Horror wracked me as the curtain rose, and I saw the man chained to a chair. I pulled away like a caveman witnessing fire, cringing and stuttering, face wet with sweat. It was the sort of fear that worked its way into your bones like a bad chill, that left you shaking, teeth chattering.
It was me.
An older me, sure. But not by much. Ten years, maybe. A gaunt and hollow version of me, one twisted by ten years of depression and hard drugs. But it was unmistakable.
His eyes widened as he recognized the host. “Oh — oh God, God please no! It can’t be — oh Christ, let me out of this chair, you —“
“Come, now! We wouldn’t want to use the lord’s name in vain, would we? I mean, that would be a sin!” The host laid a hand on the other me’s shoulder. “It may have been a few years since you watched our program, but I’m sure you remember the rules, don’t you, old friend?”
The other me was wordless, on the verge of hyperventilating, just as I was. The host was giddy with delight. “Now! Our first and only question is one I’m sure our viewer will be very interested in: what sins, exactly, do you think landed you here?”
The other me tried to speak, but the words caught in his throat. I could see it in his eyes. The years of self-destruction, the bitter hopelessness, the whirlpool of nihilism and vice and decay. The suffocating depths of a man. The darkness. How could he put it into words?
The sound of the buzzer was like a pig’s squeal. “Mmm, I’m afraid that our viewer is going to have to figure that out for himself! In the meantime, your punishment? Well, we wouldn’t want to spoil anything…”
The curtains slowly began to fall just as a couple other of those black, grotesque monstrosities emerged from the darkness. The curtain covered them all before I could get a good look at their obscene, twisted, asymmetrical figures. All I could hear was the crunching, the sound of skin tearing like paper, the screaming that went on for longer and louder than a human throat or vocal chords could endure.
The image and audio were beginning to distort, glitch, burn away. The tapes were physically melting as they played. My VCR was starting to overheat, sparks pouring from its front panel. The host voice jumped around in tone, his voice fading into the static blur as the tapes bubbled and boiled and distorted. “But, my friends, I’m afraid that concludes tonight’s episode of our show! So, with a final farewell to our dear, beloved viewer, Jackson…”
Just before the image melted away, the camera seemed to jump forward until his face filled the screen, his eyes piercing into mine as he cackled in that singsong voice.
“See you sooooon~”

-Template-

.Name, Size (#, Place) Rank, Alignment, Type, Color [Optional], Goal, Area, Location, Leader[s] (name, gender and race plus any other info), items (what they offer), Creatures (#of Creatures of a kind in it), Dungeon (Yes or no, Size, Type), Base (yes or no, Describe)

-Size- 1. hardly worth an issue or such with like 1 spot ant only influencein a Settlement or Thorp [Settlement=20people or less, Thorp= 20-60ish people] 2. ok maybe possible interest, with still 1 place but maybe more then influence in a Hamlet or Village[Hamlet= 60-120ish, Village= 120-500ish] 3. Maybe a decent Group to help for medium rewards or be a rival or such so more dangereward with Maybe 1-2 locations with inspiration in a Small/Large Town, (Small= 500-2,000ish. Large= 2,000-5,000ish) 4. A majorly Large influence like in small city or large city and some lower areas (u get the point) 5. Almost a hole contadent knows it and is in a metropolis 6. Is a hole continent known to and major Base in a mega city (and you get it)
-Ranks- - Tiny (lv 1-4) - Small (lv 5-10) - Medium (lv 11-16) - Large (lv 17-20) - ? (any) -Location- - Ant Territory - Beetle Terratory - Deeper Territory (Crabs, reefs, lobster) - 8 leg Territory (Spider, Scorpion such) - Mantine Territory (Mantus) - Pollener Territory (Bees, Wasps, caterpillar and moth and butterfly ext) - Rodent Territory (Rats, Squirrel, Raccoon, - Badgers, Skaven, ext) - (Any other one related to bugs, rodents,and crustaceans)
-Options/Role- 1. The Arrogant larva Company. Size: 2 Village rank: Small. Alignment: Neutral, Type: Cooking Guild, Goal: Control their Trade, Area: Grassland/Plain, Located: in Ant Territory Leader: Arcrasal (male, Antkin), item: Grain, flower, Bread, Creatures: 3 ankegs, 6 Thri-kreens, Dungeon: No, Base: A muddy hut With crumbs making a path of grain seeds 2. Fellowship of the narrow seekers. Size: 3 large Town Rank: Large, Alignment: Neutral, Type: Adventurers Guild, Goal: find hidden passages in the most dangerous areas, Area: Coastal/Mountains, Location: Between- Beetle and Deeper Territory, Leaders: Unknown (literally Unknown), Items: Maps of different passes, Creatures: 2 young purple worms, 5 Beetlekin, 5 crab folk 1 kraken. Dungeon: Yes, Medium, coastal ruin. Base: Yes a large mountain that looks like fallen ruins of something Unknown but Build like a fort. 3. Order of the Junkers. Size: 4, Large City. Rank: Medium. Alignment: Chaotic Neutral. Type(s): Blacksmith and Adventurers Guild. Color: Black. Goal: Gain Power through battle and hords of scraps. Area: Urban/Underground. Location: Rodent Territory. Leader: a group of rodents with a Smart Oger Wererat named Skin Whip (Male). Items: junky metal and weird metal fusions and warriors. Creatures: 12 Giant Rats, 39 rat Warriors (Dand Wiki), 257 Rat Slaves (Dand Wiki), 500 Human Commoners (5e MM, Servants). Dungeon: Yes, 2, both Medium. Base: Unknown 4. The Chittering Collective. Size: 3 Large Town. Alignment: Lawful Evil. Rank: Tiny. Color: Black, Blue, Green. Type: Informery. Goal: find info for the emperor. Area: Forest/Urban/Swamp Location: 8 Leg Territory. Leader: A Drider Noble known as the lady of webs and secrets. Items: Secrets. Creatures: 53 Chitines, 26 Driders, 14 Ettercaps. Countless Spiders and spider swarms, Dungeon: Yes, Small. Base: Unknown 5. The Honey Hide Company. Size: 4 Small City. Alignment: Neutral. Rank: Medium. Type: Food Guild. Goal: share the love of honey with everyone. Leader: Lady Sweetheart (Female Male Mix, Beekin). Items: Honey. Creatures: (Unknown), Dungeon: Yes, Large. Base: (Unknown)

[F4A] Autumn Spirit Takes You on a Date

This is the first of a little series about four seasonal spirits interacting with a special human who can see them and converse with them. As the children of Mother Earth herself, they decided to find a lonely human child to befriend. They chose the listener many years ago when they were only a small child. No one else can see the spirits but the listener.
free to monetize! to credit, just link my YT channel (found in my profile)! Thanks! :D free to genderbend!
Location/Ambience: autumn town ambience, light traffic, bike sounds, people talking, cafe ambience, footsteps, leaves rustling Listener: stressed young worker, has known the spirit since childhood Voice: Talkative, bright, playful, slightly flirty, innocent, energetic Theme: de-stressing, slight comfort, wanting what’s best for you, childhood roots
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(door opens and shuts, town ambience starts, breeze blows)
Ah! There you are! Finally! How can you even breathe in that musty dusty building? I feel like the gates of Hades just spat someone out at me!
Not THAT warm in there? Look at you, you’re all sweaty and your cheeks are… all rosy and red.
Shrug, then snicker
Maybe it was because YOU were in there for too long… giggle What were you trying to do, cook everyone?
Flirty laugh
Hahaha, don’t deny it. But anyway, I’ve got you outside now, so you’d better enjoy this breeze! I’ve arranged it just for you.
You’re welcome. Only the best for you, dear.
I’ve prepared the perfect autumn day for you - just how you like it! Crisp, cool air, bright blue sky, golden setting sun… C’mon, let’s head down to the park! All the leaves are really coming down and the girls club is selling cookies! You can buy some for me!
I - well, no, you’re right, I can’t exactly eat because I’m a spirit… but we can pretend! Remember, just like old times! We used to play in the leaf piles, and your mom would call you inside for cookies, but, everytime, you came back out with some for me?
I pretended for five whole years before you realized that I couldn’t actually eat. Haha. I always returned the cookies you gave me when you weren’t looking. You never noticed till five whole years later!
Hearty laugh
Mhm. haha.
So anyway, tell me - how was work today? Apart from making you all stiff and stuffy?
…(pause)
Ugh… same old story… what a witch that lady is.
…
She WHAT?! Sorry… repeat that??? She SAID that to you?!
Frustrated sigh
Seriously… one of these days I’m going to send a flock of migrating birds to poop all over her car - or make her slip on some wet leaves… or blow a gust of wind so hard that her ugly dress flies off -
What? No, she deserves it! Anybody with the nerve to be that rude to you OUGHT to have a terrible life!
Well… anyway… go on…
…(pause)
Mhhm. Oh, that guy's terrible too…
…
Wait wait wait why did you agree to take on more work like that? He already made you do the -
Frustrated sigh
You… I have to ask. Why are you still working for these people? They’ve got to be the sneakiest, most uncaring, manipulative group of -
...
Yeah yeah, nice benefits, promised vacation time, discounts... and it keeps you paying rent… and food on your table… but… I’ve been listening to your heart more deeply since I returned a few weeks ago… and… you haven’t been the same. I thought maybe you were sick at first, but your body is technically fine. On the other hand… your heart - your mind, your feelings, your soul…
I’m just… worried about you. It just doesn’t seem like you’ve been enjoying my gifts as much lately. At first I thought I’d done something wrong, but I noticed it’s all because of your job… and those people…
Pause, then flustered sounds as the subject is changed
OH WELL YOU KNOW ANYWAY… I know just what you need! We need to go back to the basics! I think you just need to have some fun! Since you’re older now, you’re doing all these grown up things… but it seems like the grown up things are getting in the way.
You used to rake up the leaves all afternoon and we’d kick them up into the air, jump in them and roll around in them. We used to lay in the field and watch the geese migrating - oh and remember when we saw the cedar waxwings? You were so excited because you’d never seen them before!
It was so magical… Remember going pumpkin picking with your family? You insisted on taking me with you, even though I didn’t want your family to think you were weird for “talking to yourself” the whole time. You claimed you had an “imaginary friend,” and that really made my day.
We used to sit out in the cold nighttime and watch the harvest moon rise. You told me all about school, your friends, teachers, and how much you hated that one teacher… What was her name? Mrs. Bentley? Haha. Yeah. Finally free from her!
Sad pause
But now there’s others… might be worse than her…
But anyway… we had so much fun back then!! I remember watching football for the first time, too. It still doesn't quite make much sense to me -
…
What? No, the game itself makes sense, but… you humans… sometimes you scare me with how much you rave about it. Haha.
Do you have anything else in particular you remember that made you happy? You and me together?
…
Mhhm! I remember that! The apple cider at your school event! I added some autumn magic… and boy, nobody could get enough of it! Your best friend had the biggest smile!! She’s still hooked on it, isn't she?
…
You… haven’t heard from her? Oh… I thought you both were so close.
…
But… if you haven’t spoken to her in three years, then, how…? Oh, the internet. You should message her and see how she’s doing!
…
She’s married now?! WOW! Well how does that stop you from saying hi?
…
Oh… I… well… you humans are really weird that way… with your social rules and things… I feel like if you love someone, you should be able to talk to them…
…(pause, the listener moves on talking about how they got lost in a hurricane)
Oh! Wait yeah! I remember that too! That was a really scary night for me… When Mother sent the hurricane… and you tried to run away from home right in the middle of it! I could have strangled your parents for making you that angry… and I could have strangled you too…
…
For what? For being so reckless of course! Hurricanes… are something I can’t stop, you know. The only thing I could manage was to blow the tree down over the bridge... instead of on top of you.
…
(Quietly) I… I know. I don’t LIKE being destructive… I would stop the hurricanes if I could. But Mother is stronger.
…
Thank you… I wish I could apologize to all the people... It’s just that… Mother… she’s in pain… she can’t help it either.
…
Yes! I saw that you convinced your neighbors to quit spraying all that poison on their yards! I was so excited when Summer told me! Summer might not like me very much, but she was really happy to find out we have yet another safe location for bees, fireflies, squirrels, bats, birds, mice, rabbits - you have no idea how much it helps us… and Mother.
We need more trees, more complete forests! I still don’t get how you humans - well, not YOU, but the others… how they can’t see what they are doing to Mother… and themselves...
BUT ANYWAY! I’m not supposed to be here rambling on about all of the world’s problems! I’m supposed to be making you happy again! Let’s see… What do we want to do…
Leaf pile? Pumpkin picking? Collecting acorns? Make a leaf wreath? Make some magic apple cider again? Bake some cookies? Hay ride? Or maybe you need some pumpkin spice -
…
What do you mean? Those aren’t childish! Don’t laugh! Actually no, you NEED to laugh…
Quiet chuckle
Ahh… you… well, what sort of things do grown-up humans prefer to do to make them happy?
…
Seriously? Uh… well… Out of that list of very boring and… self-destructive activities… the date sounds the nicest.
Gasp
I’ve got it! We’ll go on a date - you and me - and we’ll do all the fun things I just listed! There IS a full moon tonight, so we can finish our date off by watching it rise over town. It’s decided.
…
Nope, I don’t care about whatever “grown up homework” you have to do! Work is for work, not for home, and last time I checked, you're not on the clock!
Ah ah, don’t test me! YOU need some relaxation time, and that requires indulging in what Mother Nature has to give you this season. I’ll be your guide - c'mon, who better than to go on an autumn date than the Spirit of Autumn herself?
Oh look, there’s the perfect start - an apple cider stand. Perfect! let's go add some magic to it! Hurry up!
(running footsteps, then fade out)
(END)

I've used InDesign years ago, and found it...not impossible. I didn't use it for long though (long enough to get a good grade) I've resurrected that computer for a project, and will need InDesign. I'm working with CS6
My layout is in Word for now. Each entry is a table with basic information followed by several conventional paragraphs. Each entry will be 1/2 page, 1 page, or 2 pages. For example...
VERMONT MAPLE SQUIRRELS
Place of Origin Maple Corner, Calais, Vermont
Purpose Maple Syrup Collection Size Disturbingly Large
Coloration Grade II
Attitude Sweet, clingy
Paragraphs describing the breed, etc, etc.
column break
Repeat
The tables in Word allow me to have horizontal borders/lines between sections of the table, and "lock" things in place. Word doesn't seem to like tables & columns much (I can put a page break in the beginning of a table but not a column break; that has to go outside the table and adds a blank line).
Is there a better way to do this in InDesign? Text boxes instead of cells? Text boxes and do each entry as a separate file in a book? I've got dropdown menus in several cells; is that something InDesign can do? Once I get the various entry templates set up (1/2 vertical; 1/2 horizontal; 1 page; 2 page) the rest should be fairly straightforward (ToC; How-To-Read-Entries; Entries; Appendices; Index)
Thanks for the assist; I got rid of my guidebooks a while ago, and haven't had a chance to grab new ones yet.
(Project has gotten to the size that it's actually real; I don't want to keep going in Word and then switch the whole thing over to ID; makes more sense to me to set up ID now and feed into it as I go. Right? I tend to be visual and completionist in my writing; it's nice to see something about what it might actually look like.)

Sales Doc💜
I changed the layout of my doc and have made a separate doc for the pets in the eStore that I can get for you! It will be linked on the doc <3
You can bundle any pet on this doc!! The $10 pets are all negotiable pricing :) DM me if interested 🩷
I have all of these pet codes available immediately:

• Afghan Hound
• Airborne Puppy x2
• Akita Puppy
• Avocado Bear
• Baby Monkey
• Baby Sloth
• Be Merry Fawn
• Betta Fish x2
• Big Top Elephant
• Blossom Fish
• Blossom Sea Turtle
• Blue Bison Calf
• Blue Ribbon Cow
• Blue Tang
• Brilliant Penguin
• Brilliant Tortoise
• Brown Arabian
• Bubblegumasaurus x2
• Cairn Terrier
• Camo Cow
• Candy Apple Camel
• Charming Panda
• Charming Rat
• Cheshire Cat x2
• Choco Vanilla Pony
• Chow Chow Puppy
• Clover Lion
• Cookies and Cream Koala
• Copper Husky Puppy
• Dandy Lion
• Dapple Dachshund
• Denim & Lace Giraffe
• Diamond Doggy
• Donkey Foal
• Earthly Fox
• Eluvant x2
• Endangered Asian Elephant
• Fennec Fox
• Fur Seal Pup x2
• Gelato Parrot x2
• Glitter Fawn
• Golden Eagle
• Golden Fawn
• Good Fortune Hedgehog
• Grey Arabian
• Ice Cream Scoop Snail
• Iceberg Bear
• Koala
• Leonberger
• Licorice Fish x2
• Lil Otter Pup x2
• Lil Panda
• Love Lion
• Love Spaniel
• Lovely Fox
• Lovely Love Kitten x2
• Magical Hippogriff x2
• Magnificent Macaw
• Maple Moose
• Mint Chocolate Sheep
• Mystical Crab
• Mystical Squirrel
• Narwhal
• Neon Pallas Cat
• Northern Trails Bear
• Northern Trails Otter
• Northern Trails Stag
• Owlet
• Panther
• Peace Bear
• Petal Print Giraffe
• Petal Print Skunk
• Pink Pony
• Polar Gummy x2
• Polar Penguin
• Pom Pom Chinchilla
• Porcupette
• Prehistoric Mammoth
• Puggle Puppy
• Pumpkin Puppy
• Purple Dragonfly
• Purple Floral Fawn
• Purple Persian Kitten
• Quirky Carnival Cub x2
• Rainbow Rascal
• Renaissance Palace Butterfly
• Rock Candy Croc x2
• Scruffy Puppy
• Seafoam Sparkle Dolphin x3
• Seaspray Dolphin
• Sequin Peacock
• Sifaka Lemur
• Signature Bull Terrier
• Signature Cocker Spaniel
• Signature Koala
• Signature Lion x2
• Signature Small Black Lab
• Silver Fox
• Sizzling Swan
• Small Signature Golden Retriever
• Sock Elephant
• Sock Monkey
• South African Springbok
• Strawberry Chiffon Squirrel
• Sun Fox
• Teal Zebra
• Thunderbird
• Tigerlily Pup
• Tinkercat
• Tinkerpup
• Upbeat Chic Giraffe
• Waffle Wallaby
• Webkinz Rockerz Cat
• Webkinz Rockerz Cow
• Webkinz Rockerz Coyote
• Webkinz Rockerz Lion
• Wild Piglet
• Winged Tiger x2
• Wolf x2
• Wolverine
• Wooly Piglet
• Zebra Foal x2

Back in the days when Maine was only knee-high as a state, when the caribou roamed its Northwoods, and oysters thrived in the Damariscotta when the woodsmen had scarcely seen the tall virgin pines of the Allegash, there came into the forests a massive giant of a man. Whence he came, nobody knew nor took the trouble to find out. He was a timber chopper such as had never been seen before, more than a rod tall, he stood in his moose hide moccasins, and his shoulders were three regular axe handles wide. A heavy square-cut black beard decorated his chin, and his eyebrows resembled a birds-nest.
Stories of his fame and deeds soon were told from the Saco to the Saint John, of how his mighty axe with the two-foot blade could drop a tall pumpkin pine with one clean blow, and how he could clear ten acres in a day, and forty teams and eighty men were unable to yard the logs after him. Behind him, the squirrels looked hungry, and the beavers were at a loss for food and building materials. The quiet trout streams either roared like torrents or dried up altogether.
The Spirit of the Forest was worried - very worried. With this Giant in action, there would soon be no trees left. Without trees, the water would quickly wash away the earth, the winds would blow away the topsoil, and the land would be left only barren rocks and sand. No gardens, no food, no people, no fish, no birds, no animals, no anything. So the Spirit of the Forest decided to call a council of all the other Spirits to determine how they should best stop the destruction. The awful matter was discussed in the best Spirit fashion, and it was agreed the only probable weakness of the Giant was in his stomach. From all his exercise, of course, he worked up a tremendous appetite, and the tales were being told of the cartload, or so, of food that he ate every evening when his day's work was done, so around this, the Spirits laid their plan.
As he chopped to the South, one day, he came to the ocean. Now, mind you, he was a backwoodsman and had never tasted shellfish or Maine lobsters, so the Spirits had arranged an enormous clambake for his meal. There were clams and oysters, crabs and lobsters, and with some misgivings probably, the Giant fell to eating with both fists. The oysters, clams, and crabs he found to be hardly worth the trouble for one of his size and appetite, but the lobsters pleased him to no end after he got used to the looks of the strange creatures. Now, to a giant, one lobster is scarcely a taste. He was delighted by this new food but bored by the task of picking out the meat, so, before long, he just popped a whole one in his mouth and crunched it up. This was much easier, and he kept roaring and calling for more and more until he had gobbled up two dory loads. Then he stretched out by the fire and went to sleep. This was just what the Spirits had planned for! They had begged the help of an Imp of Mischief, whose golden eyes gleamed for fun. Over his long nose, they put a giant lobster claw and two more over his pointed ears. Another slipped one over his beard, and his face was painted sea-green.
The Giant twisted and rolled in his sleep, for lobster shells are hard to digest, especially two dory loads. The Imp of Mischief, whose name, by the way, was Kattywumpus, sat on the Giant's chest and tweaked his nose. The Giant moaned in his sleep, dreaming of huge waving claws, bulging eyes, probing feelers, and many crawling legs like the strange creatures he had stuffed himself with. Suddenly, he awoke and when he saw Kattywumpus crouched on his chest, he leaped to his feet with a roar heard from Cape Neddick to Monhegan. He crashed off through the forest, heading westward at top speed. Years later, tall tales of a similar giant with a pet blue ox filtered back to the State of Maine from beyond the Great Lakes. Perhaps that is where he went, for he never was seen in these parts again. Kattywumpus was so pleased with himself that he continued to wear his disguise and prowl the forests of New England as a protector. Many of the weird stories from lumber camps, such as the one about the footprints in the snow that suddenly vanished into the air, of the piercing screams from the top of the bunk house in the dead of night, and others are perhaps his doings. No one has ever caught a glimpse of him, but sometimes, we see the gleam of his golden eyes on the outer circle of the campfire light. He is ever on the watch for those who would destroy the forests, land, and game by careless or wanton cutting or fire.

If I’ve made any mistakes, let me know! Here’s a mod list before the long, typo-infested, rambly bits!
u/lonelytwatwaffle (x3)
u/Jane_Q
u/JaimeKJ
u/kittycatcon
u/babyraspberry (x6)
u/bluedecemberart (x5)
u/comingtogetyoubabs (x5)
u/constructionlower549 (x7)
u/cswl (x6)
u/DoraDoodle (x4)
u/ez330 (x4)
u/isar-love
u/Jdoodle7 (x4)
u/jvanct88 (x2)
u/korewrites (x2)
u/libertyprogrammer
u/LeeElla
u/mikepenpal6 (x5)
u/mlks00 (x2)
u/monetmonkey
u/mydinosaurdidit (x8)
u/onelittlericeball (x4)
u/pinkpengin (x7)
u/TigerLady13 (x4)
u/travel4me22
u/umeshufan (x14!)
I’ll start this with a huge apology. It was never my intention to take so long on my break or to post a thank you for all the amazing mail you’ve been sending. A few months were super… not stellar, and I just kind of wanted to hide under a rock so I wouldn’t bother anyone until I could feel a bit more like myself, and with all of that, you guys have just been the sweetest. I got so many sweet messages checking in and felt so loved despite the fact that it’s taken me half a year to get back on here. Thanks for all your patience with me. You guys are the absolute greatest! <3
An additional thanks to u/pinkpengin for sending a card basically inviting me to come back to the cool kid’s table to play this week! :D
Allsssooo also, I wrote half of these in January if any of them are odd, and I’ve also not detailed the cards that have been sent to family members as I didn’t read them myself, just added them on my count here, and sorry if the formatting is a bit wonky. I'm copying this from a document, so I might edit if it's terrible.
To start, I received a fun Meet-Up card from some now irl friends on here! Thank you guys! I really wish I could have made it to this one:
u/lonelytwatwaffle (x3)
u/Jane_Q
u/JaimeKJ
u/kittycatcon
u/babyraspberry (x6), You sent such happy mail with your world postcard day envelope! I love the picture of a beach in Portugal. It makes me want to take a vacay ASAP! I also loved the fun little fact you put about the Peach Springs, AZ USPS! So cool! You also included cute star cut-outs, a little packet of stickers, and washi on what looks like a fun space cat playing card! I’m seriously giddy to get to the pic!
Thank you so much for the sweet hot cocoa and New Year’s card you sent! You also included a pretty saguaro cactus card and lovely pastry scrapbook paper, because you’re so thoughtful like that! I love how pretty every single envelope and card is that you send! I’m also excited to hear that you’re getting settled into the new(er) place a bit more! I hope you had a great time with the family visits!
Oh, my goodness, the wintery cards you sent my way were just stunning! I really liked hearing about your walk on the frozen lake and what an adorable “Cake of Friendship” recipe! The stamp stickers are always just the perfect colotheme, too! It always gives me heart eyes!
u/bluedecemberart (x5), Your Halloween card was adorable! You made it even cuter with the stickers. You mentioned “catching up on mail someday”........... Lol! You sent me about 50 cards to my…. ahem… completely non-existent ones. You’re a treasure, friend!
Thank you so much for my massive care packet of cards in an envelope that was just the cutest, with cats and Totoro stickers! It was beautiful! Every single bit in the envelope was so thoughtful!
You sent a “You’ve Got Mail” postcard, which reminds me… I should rewatch that movie someday so u/comingtogetyoubabs can stop laughing at the fact that I mix up all the Meg Ryan/Billy Crystal movies. I can’t be the only one… or maybe I am?!
You also sent the cutest envelope and added little address cardstock labels to add some zest to my envelopes along with so many cute stickers of cats, dogs, and squirrels! So sweet! I really loved the “Support Your Local Librarians” sticker! We are so lucky to live close to a very nice library with super active librarians who really care about the community, and it breaks my heart that they’re being given extra nonsense to add to their worries right now. :(
I especially love the card that has “You can do anything! Just not Everything” on the front. What a perfect reminder. You are so caring and thoughtful, and I’m so thankful for you!
u/comingtogetyoubabs (x5) How do you always find the perfect cards and things to say?! I love the whole envelope filled with citrus-themed cards, stickers, washi, all of it! Your puns were cracking me up! You even made the address label with little lemons! Super cute!
Then you also sent cards that were bee-related and stickers galore! I’m pretty sure that’s the first cat bee return label I saw in-person! They are adorable!
You sent a fun fall card with such pretty watercolor animals on it! The little hedgie sticker matches perfectly! It’s giving me heart eyes! Thank you, m’dear!
u/constructionlower549 (x7) Ugh, your holiday postcards are always so cute! I love the pic with you and the pupper (both smiling) on the front! It’s seriously so sweet and happy! I also loved the sweet card you sent with the New Year’s plans/updates. It’s seriously been entirely too long since I’ve sent an update! I definitely agree… Christmas is a bit overwhelming for me every year, tbh. I always look forward to the New Year knowing that we’ve made it through another hectic season of cooking/visits/everything! XD I always feel like I drop so many balls and last year was one of the biggest times I’ve done that. I didn’t even send holiday cards last year. :/
What a cool Starbucks postcard! I had no idea they even had postcards, but I love the gold and white on this one! The sparkly purple pen you used on it is just chef’s kiss perfection! Thank you!
I loved hearing about your bday trip! It sounds like such a fun adventure! I know you mentioned you did a lot of HUGE things, but I saw, “hung out by the pool,” and for some reason that part was the bit that I was like, “WHOA! WHAT?! IN FEB?! …living her best life by going somewhere beautiful!” XD
Then I got the most cards (I really, really love the hydrangea ones) with backstories from some of the postcards you sent! <3 I loved hearing about your dog-sitting adventure! Ugh, I need to send you a recipe for ice cream when you’re there next time! It’s blueberry pie-flavored, and it’s basically the only one I make in the summers, though I haven’t made it for a few summers now. I was laughing at the “behind-the-scenes” stories from your trips! It’s so funny catching up with people from school, especially when they’ve become parents! It almost feels like a secret club sometimes, knowing things about them but only discussing it in front of kids basically in code language! XD Oh! You asked at the end… I think the postcard lady would definitely be the highest contender for my demise! Lol! I’d totally take an entire litter of rabid cats over her! :D
u/cswl (x6), Thank you for the lovely Halloween card with the glittery witch skirt and the little cat on a walk! So cute! Our cat actually loves taking walks on his harness, but it’s been too cold to go out with him recently, and our old sweet old man of a dog thinks it’s a bit of a pain to go out on big walks now too. Can’t wait for spring! (I wrote this part of your thank-you in January! Spring has been nice indeed!)
The school supply postcard is so cute! I love LouPaper designs and the little rounded edges! The bright rainbow colors on it is just so happy! <3
Such a great “M” card made out of mustaches, too! Very cool design!
What a cool Veteran’s Day card you sent my way! I haven’t seen very many for the holiday, so it was super fun to get one! Thank you!
I also liked your secret “Walt Whitman” card. I have been wondering how work has been going for you. I have done some “extra” work tidying myself at old jobs when I’ve been feeling less than good about them myself.
It was also fun hearing about the 2 festivals in one weekend… was super happy you didn’t have to cook that weekend! That’s kind of a mini-vacation in itself!
u/DoraDoodle (x4), You sent such a pretty Halloween card as well as such adorable cats in costume stickers! They were so sweet! You even finished off the card with a tiny skull and crossbones stamp on the back. Your attention to detail makes everything so perfect! I always love seeing how you perfectly coordinate the papers to make such nice designs!
We all loved your gorgeous handmade Christmas card! It was displayed with the ones we received from family! I definitely missed out on the fun and didn’t send a single holiday card last year. :(
Oh, my goodness, I loved getting your beautiful watercolor card from your trip. That is actually one of our family’s bucket list places! Were you able to catch the Northern Lights while there? I hope you were treated with a lovely view!
u/ez330 (x4), I loved the colorful tulip card you sent and hearing about what had been happening with you. Thank you for checking in with me! You also included such sweet stickers, one of a corgi cupcake that I absolutely adore! Our dog is red with the cute Dorito ears like a corgi, so I’m a little partial to those types of breeds because of him! <3
Oh, my goodness, how was your trip to the National Postal Museum?! My grandma was a retired postmaster, and I think she would’ve loved traveling there! I hope you had the best time!
I loved getting your sweet flower heart postcard too! Thank you so much for caring and sending notes my way. You’re so thoughtful!
What a gorgeous handmade Valentine’s Day card! The light aqua blue with red were actually my wedding colors, so every time I see them together, it just makes me smile! Thank you for thinking of me! It made my day!
u/isar-love, I loved your dragonfly postcard! I love learning differences in language and I really think “dragonfly” is much prettier in yours! My son has a book about bugs from close-up views, and the dragonfly picture is on the cover! I always thought that photograph was especially pretty! He’s terrified of bugs now, unfortunately, but every time I see a dragonfly now, I think of when he first asked if they were actual dragons as a preschooler, and I thought it was just so cute!
u/Jdoodle7 (x4) Thank you so much for sending such sweet cards my way to check on me! My birthday card was just so pretty, and I really like how you did the washi on a diagonal. It really set off the envelope! You even have birthday return address labels, and I just absolutely adore them!
I have out another card you sent recently, the one mentioning Monty Python! Oh, my word! I am so excited to meet someone who gets my references now! :D Poor E, I had to introduce him to it years ago when he mentioned he’d never seen it (can you believe it?!), but now he grudgingly chuckles or rolls his eyes when I quote it in passing!
u/jvanct88, Thank you so much for the super pretty I’m thinking of you card with a holo cat silhouette! I loved getting the life updates! Just so you know, I can’t use the tea you sent because the little packets are so cute! Oh, they’re in with my tea, yes, but only for showing off the cute designs on display! :) Thank you! <3
u/korewrites (x2), thank you for the postcards you’ve been sending my way! I liked hearing about your travels to visit friends. The place you went in January sounds particularly exciting! I hope you had the best time catching up with them!
u/libertyprogrammer, thank you for the lovely card with the super fun stamps on them! What a good idea to send it before the price increased (again), too! The stickers match the pretty dusty rose color of the envelope and I love how you made the card inside with such cute Snoopy washi! It is so good hearing from you! Oh, I might have mentioned in the last post, but I have finished all of your book recs, and I was absolutely blown away by one series in particular! Kind of bouncing up and down over the fact that a certain author has new author pics!!! Did you see?! I know everyone online is saying not to get our hopes up, so OF COURSE MY HOPES ARE SKY HIGH that we get a new book ASAP! :D I can’t believe there are some people who have been waiting for decades when I’ve only been excited for a few months!
u/LeeElla, thank you for the sweet card with the cherry blossoms and cute washi and stickers! I loved getting to hear about your travels. I feel like my family and I will start doing a small bit more of that this year finally, and I love hearing where others have been!
Also, your writing is lovely!
u/lonelytwatwaffle, I loved hearing about your beach trip! What a nice getaway! My family took trips there when I was little. I think it was maybe the first time I saw the ocean! It sounded like such a nice, relaxing time! I hope you had a blast!
u/mikepenpal6 (x5) I loved your purple Halloween card with the pumpkin and owl! What pretty scrapbook paper in the background, too! You always find the most festive and adorable carding supplies!
What a gorgeous handmade Christmas card! I love how glitzy it is with the little rhinestones and all the cute stickers and washi you used! I hope you had a wonderful Christmas!
Ooh, I loved hearing about the concert you saw! That would’ve been so incredible! I’m super jealous and also really excited that you could go! I saw that one of my faves is going to be about 2 hours away from me very soon, so I went on the ticket site to buy them. E said that I definitely should, but I told him, “Meh, it’d be way past my bedtime.” lol I’m such an old lady now.
Your handmade Valentine’s Day card was absolutely stunning! I always love seeing the cute little gemstone stickers ppl use! I actually didn’t do a ton for this Valentine’s Day. I usually bake for our littles, make them a heart-shaped pizza for dinner, and cook something for E that he likes, but this year, our tiniest got covid (on my birthday! boo!), so we were all sick by Valentine’s Day, and we basically stayed at the house for the rest of the month to make sure we didn’t spread the joy to anyone else. Yuck! I really am glad you were able to do fun things and enjoy the weather with the family!
u/mlks00 (x2), Thank you so much for the sweet Christmas card you sent to the fam and me, especially with the handmade snowflake! How cool! I feel like I haven’t done those in too long. Have you seen the ones you can print online with Star Wars characters snuck into the designs?! They look so cute!
I always love getting your check-ins and updates! I really like this “hello” card stationery too! How classy! I hope you’re doing well, friend!
u/monetmonkey- Oh, what an adorable avocado holiday card! Thank you! Not only that, but you included such cute stickers with a sweet fox and snowy day scene! I loved all of it as well as how you decorated the inside of the card with the diagonal washi. Such a cool effect!
Of course I loved the fun stamps, especially the Maine Coon one! Our kitkat isn’t quite as massive as that, but he’s close, at over 7.5 kg/17ish lbs!
Loved the way you addressed the envelope vertically, too! It really made it stand out!
u/mydinosaurdidit (x8) You sent such happy mail to me last FALL (it’s been way too long since I’ve been here), and it was just so touching that you thought of me for it. It’s beautiful, thoughtful, and I was so taken aback at your generosity! Know that I have it set out for my next project now! I’ve been waiting to make something with it for the summer, and I’m so excited! I’ll send pics when I get it finished! I’ve had a pattern I’ve been wanting to make, but I’ve not had the right materials…until now, and the fact that it’s sentimental is just the cherry on top!
Oh, you gave me ideas for my bullet journal by sending me a sample-type page, and I really like how you have it set up! I’ve been book journaling a bit more lately and still use a bullet journal for my busier months, but I’ve been converting most of the dates to a wall calendar and still using a bullet-style on there for the tasks. It’s so helpful!
What a pretty holiday card you sent with tea and everything! I loved the adorable little paper stars to match the color of the font, and the message made me laugh!
I got the sweetest check-in card from you, typed and everything. It made me a bit teary-eyed. You even included journaling pages and stickers. You are so thoughtful, friend. A few months there were super not super, and I just kind of wanted to hide, and there you were telling me it was okay to just exist. You’re an absolute treasure. <3
Then you sent a kitty postcard with “You’re alive!” on it, and I burst out into laughter! It made me think of Schrödinger's cat, and it just made me ridiculously happy on top of it just being so freakin’ adorable! Thank you, friend!
Such a cool state card you sent! I like the ones with the different flowers/flags/birds on them to see how many I remember from my fourth grade class! :D We visited our state capitol building (where I lived growing up) during school, and the only part I remember was being so nervous that I’d be too loud walking around the halls with the echo-y marble floors… and then I suddenly stopped fretting over that when I realized how slippery the stone made the stairs and imagined falling down them making way more noise than walking funny ever would. XD I was a nervous child… glad I’m not anymore….ummm :D
Thank you for the sweet birthday wishes as well! You handmade a gorgeous pop-up card with a rainbow quilt, and it just blew me away!
The second (!) kitty postcard you made with all the rainbow writing/washi/stickers was just so happy! It made me smile!
u/onelittlericeball (x4), thank you so much for the gorgeous cards you send! I always love seeing your handwriting and the pretty washi/sticker combos you use!
I really liked getting updates on things that have been going on with you lately. It's so nice hearing from you, and I have your latest in my "reply ASAP" stack now!
u/pinkpengin (x7) The fam loved our cute black cat purpley Halloween card! The Halloween donut washi you have is top notch!
Your Jane Goodall Institute card is so cool! She’s one of my heroes (as are you, of course)! I actually bought this little amigurumi book where you could make little feminist icons, mostly because one of the characters is her! I digress… Okay, so as of that card, you had 22 kitters… have there been any more foster fails since then (bc I can absolutely say I’d be such an enabler about that! I nearly got another one myself last month)?
Oh, what a cute little fox riding a bike! I think these notecards are just adorable! You absolutely did not need to write a thank-you, but of course you’re just super sweet and thoughtful like that, and it made me smile! :)
Your sweet holiday card was displayed with the family cards we received this year, and it was so cute! Thank you! We all really enjoyed it. Maybe I’ll get my act together by winter and send some myself this year?! Here’s to hoping!
You also sent such a sweet Valentine with two additional mini cards inside! You are so thoughtful. The envelope was so pretty with how you decorated it! I think Valentine’s Day might be my favorite holiday… I don’t really do anything to celebrate other than baking, but I think that’s maybe why I like it! It’s low stakes! :D
You also sent an extra special holiday card VERY recently… but I’ll be commenting on that one elsewhere. ;)
u/TigerLady13 (x4), I really loved the Christmas card you sent! The stamps were so cute on the envelope, and the Santa in the woods feeding apples to the horses were so just so pretty! Thank you so much!
You have been sending such sweet cards my way! Thank you! My birthday cards were so super sweet. Both were decked out with the cutest washi and stickers galore! You are so very thoughtful! I really like the envelopes! They both had ribbon streamers on the insides of them! How festive!
u/travel4me22, thank you for the fun Blue Ridge Parkway postcard saying hello and checking in! That was so thoughtful! I hope your year has been great so far!
u/umeshufan (x14!) Your pop-up llama card (so cute!) along with an additional note was so cute to get! I really liked the signatures that you and a family member added to it! It was from 15 Nov, so I had the biggest smile reading about a recent event that happened there! <3
The Christmas card you sent made me laugh! I’ve seen shirts with that sentiment on motorcycle drivers, and to see it on the back of a reindeer was just the absolute best! XD You find the most hilarious cards! I definitely need to up my card game!
Thank you so much for the beautiful cards from all your travels over the past 6 months as well as sending notes to other family members! You have been to so many places already this year, and it’s always fun getting to live vicariously through your descriptions of each place!
The NZ sheep postcard is adorable with the little sheep, and I loved hearing about each stop along the way. The “Where’s Wally/Waldo?” one is extra cool! Thank you for sharing it with us! You’re always so thoughtful!
Oh! One of the cards you sent from NZ had another person added to the card, and I don’t know if I’m mentioned, but I think their handwriting is just beautiful! I especially like their A’s! That was so sweet hearing from them as well!
During one of your trips, you were in the same time zone as I was, and I was so excited to get FOUR cards from there! It was so fun getting cards that arrived so very quickly! I always love seeing The Snooty Bookshop cards! They’re hilarious!
You also sent 6 cards just last month, completely putting me to shame! I have them out for a reply just as soon as I pick up some different cards from the store. I think part of my extra long hiatus has made me not want to dig out the perfectly fine old cards I had but start fresh… capitalism at its finest, I suppose… :/
Thank you for sending so many cards to the family over the past half year as well. Your cards always brighten our day! You’ll be getting some replies from E soon, too. He’s not been on RAoC recently either, so I’m adding some of his on my post for him.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 4
The time that elapsed between the next time King Creole called me was much less than the second time. He wasted only a day before calling me in the middle of a rare moment of spending time with my dad after he had finally gotten a day off. We had been holed up in the living room watching movies together when my phone began to vibrate in my pocket.
“Son of a bitch,” I grumbled as I saw who was calling me. I held up a finger to my dad when he was about to ask who it was before I answered the phone and quickly stood up from the couch. “Yes?” I didn’t want to call him ‘sir’ in front of my dad since the last thing I wanted was to have him think that I had some kind of job on the side that he didn’t know about. I had also expected Creole to be still pissed at me after trying to buy the Jeff and Tom voodoo dolls. But he still sounded as cheery as ever.
“Mace, darling! Sorry to interrupt your movie day with your dear ol’ dad.” Creole’s voice laughed through the mic, making my blood cold when he mentioned my dad. I glanced over at my dad as he was barely paying attention to the movie and was starting to doze off on the couch. “Y’all can finish your movie if you’d like, but as soon as you’re free I need you here at the shop. Something’s come up that requires your lovely picking skills. Don’t take too long, darling.” He chuckled before hanging up on me before I could even respond to him.
I let out a pained groan into my hand as I shoved my phone back into my pocket. I walked back over to the couch and plopped myself down on it, not even stirring my dad who had fully conked out. It wasn’t even that I was upset at missing the movie since it was one that me and dad had watched plenty of times together. I was just annoyed and sad that I had to ‘work’ on the one day he had a day off.
With the movie finishing up not long after I shook my dad awake. With a snort he shot up from the couch, probably thinking that he was late to work or something, before he reorientated himself to where he was.
“Sorry, Daddy,” I told him, smiling at the confused and tired look on his face. “I’m going out for a bit, okay?” I told him as I quickly checked my pocket to ensure that I had my lockpick tools with me this time. I’d rather not have a repeat of having to run back home for them.
“Oh, okay sweetheart,” my dad said with a bit of relief. I figured he just wanted more sleep, so I guess it worked out for the both of us that Creole needed me for some other horrible job. I hugged him and he made sure to give me one that succeeded in popping my back in several places. After he let me go I went over to the front door and started making my way down to the voodoo shop.
The sun was beginning to set on the horizon which gave me some hope that this job would cause me less anxiety than the last two, but also scared me because it seemed like I was starting to get used to all this. The last thing that I wanted was to be getting used to this shit. I pushed all those thoughts to the back of my mind when I entered the shady part of town where the voodoo shop was located. As I rounded the corner down the street from where the voodoo shop was, my path was blocked by two guys I had known back in high school.
“Mace?” Jacob, the taller of the two asked as he turned to look at me when he realized that I was standing awkwardly there. I wasn’t close to Jacob at school. He was known as the drug dealer and wannabe gang member. He had been expelled from the school just a few months before graduation and had apparently disappeared off the face of the Earth. And of all the places I could’ve run into him it had to be near the voodoo shop.
“Hey,” I said, looking at the two guys before noticing the small zip-lock bag being passed between the two of them. “Sorry didn’t mean to interrupt your…business.” I cleared my throat as I tried to just walk past them. It wasn’t any of my business what these two guys did with their free time and money.
“She a cop or something?” The mystery dude said and it was obvious that he was tweaking. Nothing about me screamed cop but in this dude's mind, I must have been the biggest narc in the city. I was just going to walk past them and leave them be, but the druggie reached out and grabbed me.
“Get the fuck off me!” I shouted at him as I kicked him as hard as I could in the crotch. When my life is on the line fighting dirty is most definitely on the table. The junkie doubled over in pain and gagged with pain with how hard I had driven my shoe into his crotch. Jacob backed up from me after I did that and didn’t try to stop me from continuing on my way. I got only a few more steps forward before I felt a hand reach out and grab me. Before I could turn around to deal with whatever was grabbing me I also felt a sharp and intense pain in my neck.
“You fucking cunt,” The junkie coughed out as I felt the pain increase in intensity and warm liquid began seeping into my shirt. I looked down at my right side and cried out in gargled pain as I looked down at the knife sticking into my neck and being twisted around by the junkie. “You are a fucking cop aren’t you?!” He screamed out as he pulled the knife out and stabbed it back into me.
I tried to get away from him but his grip increased on me and I quickly felt my strength leaking out of me along with my blood. I could hear Jacob’s voice and he seemed to be distressed but I couldn’t tell what he was saying as the world began to spin and I felt increasingly lightheaded. And before I knew it I had somehow ended up on the sidewalk floor. I could hear screaming and fighting just near me, but my eyelids grew increasingly impossible to keep open and I struggled to be able to breathe. Just before I lost consciousness I felt like I was being lifted off of the floor. I thought that maybe I would be going to heaven after all.
When I next woke up, I was inside the voodoo shop, inside King Creole’s office. I was sitting down on a plush upholstered chair and felt like I had just been run over by a steamroller. When I tried to move even a muscle I found it impossible to so much as move my pinkie.
“Goodness! You’re awake already.” Creole’s voice frightened me for a second, as the silence was suddenly broken by it. He walked past me and sat down on a small stool that was in front of the chair I was sitting on. I have to admit he looked absolutely ridiculous sitting on that stool and it made me smile, and if I could I would’ve probably laughed.
When I tried to open my mouth to speak only a horrible croaking sound came out. And that scared me more than anything else. The feeling of hearing your voice in your head and not matching what comes out of your mouth is terrifying.
“I wouldn’t recommend talking at this moment, Mace my darling,” Creole told me as he was busy picking a few items off of his desk before swiveling on the stool back to face me. “That addict did quite a number on your throat.” He had needle and thread in his hand and I was apprehensive about letting him near me with those things, but it wasn’t like I had much choice in the matter. So I allowed him to sew my neck up, and to my surprise, he finished almost as quickly as he started.
“My momma taught me how to sew real well.” He chuckled as he produced a long pair of scissors to cut the thread. “Now to help you recover your voice.” He held up a small bottle filled with a deep blue liquid in it. “Drink this in one gulp,” he told me as he handed the small item to me. I nodded and uncapped it, letting the small cork drop to his floor. But he didn’t seem to mind at all as I tipped my head back and allowed the viscous liquid to slide down my throat. It had no real taste at first but as more time passed it left a slight taste of citrus behind.
“H-how do I sound?” I asked after a few seconds of letting the liquid settle. My voice had returned but it sounded very far away. Almost like the last hint of an echo. Creole nodded and carefully patted me on the head.
“It’ll get stronger as time goes on. You’re lucky I got to you in time. Any later and I don’t think I would’ve been able to save you in this state.” He sounded sincere for the first time since I’d had the displeasure of first meeting him. And yet even after being in his debt, he had still saved my life.
“What about…them?” I asked him, my voice still so quiet despite the fact I was trying to shout it out at him. Even Creole took a few moments to figure out what I was trying to say before that horrible smile I knew so well from him returned to his face.
“Well, that horrible addict has been dealt with. But I’ve not yet decided what to do with Jacob.” He chuckled, standing up from the stool walking back over to his desk, and taking a seat behind it. While I was more than happy to hear that the person responsible for stabbing me had been dealt with, however horribly Creole may have done that. But in my mind, Jacob hadn’t done anything wrong but try and get by just like I was.
“Is there…a way for you to spare him? I don’t feel like he deserves to be hurt,” I said as I slowly felt my strength returning to my body. It was enough to be able to sit up in the big comfy chair he had sat me down in. This seemed to catch Creole off-guard and he stared at me with his giant button eyes for a moment.
“Hmm,” He humed in thought for a moment. “I suppose I can consider it.” He shrugged his shoulders as he leaned back in his chair. “But for now, you still have a job to do, darling,” he said with a smile and stood up from his chair excitedly. I was about to complain to him, mostly about the fact I had almost been murdered a few minutes ago. But I didn’t have any arguing points.
“What is it this time?” I asked, startled at the slight increase in the volume of my voice. Creole kicked the stool out of the way and dangled a doll in front of me. It was a small puppet held up by strings and I noticed that he didn’t have one of those puppet controllers, the strings were coming out of his fingertips.
“A couple came in here with their child today. And while their backs were turned, the kid took a voodoo doll off the shelf.” The little doll danced in front of me and it took me longer than I should’ve probably realized that the doll resembled the junkie to a frightening degree.
“And you need me to get it back.” I finished his statement and he nodded excitedly. “Is it in the same neighborhood as the last two?” I asked, really just wanting to keep talking in the hope that by doing so my voice would return faster. To my surprise, he shook his hand and turned his gaze down to the puppet. Suddenly in the puppet’s little hands was a drawing.
“This address should be more familiar to you,” he said with that creepy happy smile plastered on his face. I reached out and took the drawing from the puppet and when I did that, the strings retracted into his fingertips and he gripped the puppet tightly in his fist when it came up along with the strings.
I shuddered at his sudden display of violence and looked down at the drawing. And to my shock, I was presented with an address that was in my neighborhood. I quickly looked back up at him and he stared down at me, his size causing me to cower deep into the comfy chair. I had gotten used to the routine of going to some stranger's neighborhood. But this was in my crib, and there was a chance that I knew these people.
“It ain’t going to be a problem, is it my darling Mace?” He reached out and held my face in his gloved hand. I shook my head quickly and stood up quickly. All my strength returned just to get me away from him. Something told me that a dick kick wouldn’t do anything to him so it was better just to get as much distance between us as possible.
“I-I’ll get right on it, sir,” I told him, stuffing the drawing which I hadn’t even paid attention to into my pocket. “R-right on it,” I repeated as I turned to leave his office. I walked past the basement door and was startled by the frantic banging that greeted me as I did so. I panted softly as I turned into the main shop and was again startled when I saw that Jacob was tied up with a gag stuffed into his mouth. He was sitting down in the register chair and he frantically screamed at me though it was nothing but muffled nonsense.
“Don’t worry about him, Mace,” Creole told me as he suddenly appeared behind me and gripped my shoulder tightly. “I’ll take good care of him.” He laughed softly, a different tone from his normal cheery chuckles. This was a laugh that curdled my blood. Jacob’s eyes were wide with fear as he stared at me and he mumbled toward me. I shut my eyes as tightly as I could and simply ran toward the front door.
I had my own problems to worry about. I couldn’t be worrying about Jacob. In truth, I didn’t want to end up like him, and maybe that’s why I ran away so quickly and so blindly. I was already back in my neighborhood before I realized it and came back to reality. It only then occurred to me to check on the damage that had been done to me. I pulled my phone out and dared to point the selfie cam at my neck. I nearly burst out in tears at the sight of the gnarly stitching on my neck and throat.
I quickly shoved my phone back into my pocket and did my best to pull my shirt up a bit to hide the horrible wound under it, though it didn’t do much but succeed in making me look more shifty. I pulled the drawing out of my pocket to double-check the address and only then looked down at the voodoo doll I was being sent to retrieve.
It looked smaller than the others in the drawing. Creole had made the effort to make it smaller in the picture and it appeared to be a child wearing an outfit I’d describe as a 1950s aesthetic. I could only imagine what this poor kid was going to have unleashed on themselves. I sighed and hoped that I would get there before it was too late.
I arrived at the home and was immediately glad that it wasn’t someone I knew. And by the looks of it, the parents were still at work as no car was in sight. Though there was the possibility of it being in the garage. What turned me off instantly though was the sight of a home defense advertisement on their front lawn. Meaning I only had a certain amount of time before their alarm went off. I was about to whisper a curse when I suddenly felt my pocket get significantly hotter. I quickly reached into my pocket and pulled out the drawing.
To my surprise, it was on fire. But only on one side and that soon quickly ended. Smoke rose from the drawing and I was greeted by both a message and a code. ‘Figured you might need this, KC’ the message said. That feeling of being watched returned to me and the hair stood up on the back of my neck.
I quickly reached into my pocket and pulled out my tools to get to work on this. The quicker this was over the quicker I could ask him to somehow cover up this scar on my neck. I reached the door and quickly got to work. I hated to admit it but the locks here in my neighborhood were nowhere near as good as the ones in the rich suburbs were. It was like picking a cheap padlock used on a bike because before I knew it the door was open, and I was quickly scrambling inside to input the code to deactivate the alarm.
Once that was done, I quickly went about looking for the doll. If the kid had taken it, it was obvious to begin searching in their room. I walked past some family pictures and confirmed my thinking that the kid had been a girl. It would make sense for her to take a small doll that was seemingly made for little girls. Like a horrible haunted American girl doll. As I started up the stairs, I started hearing giggling and laughing. Not malicious or anything, the sounds of children playing.
I arrived outside the girl’s room and did my best to try and peek in without being noticed. Two girls were sitting on the bed and giggling with each other. And one of them was wearing the same outfit as the voodoo doll. Which meant that I was too late. And I had no talisman to change the little girl back into a doll like I had done with the killer lumberjack. I had no idea what to do. Leaving the girls to play I quickly went into the other room across the hall which turned out to be a spare bedroom by the look of it. I silently closed the door behind me and quickly pulled my phone out to call Creole.
The phone rang for an agonizing amount of time before he finally picked up. I wish he hadn’t because as soon as he did loud screaming came pouring out of the mic. It soon quickly subsided into gargles that resembled the ones that I had made when I had been stabbed in the neck.
“Mace! To what do I owe the pleasure of your call?” Creole asked me as he struggled against something on his end. I was quickly regretting this call but if he wanted me to do something about this little girl I needed him to give me something.
“Sir, the voodoo doll has become a little girl. And I don’t have a talisman to turn her back.” I told him quickly, keeping my already quiet voice down which was shockingly quiet. I swear to God I must have sounded like a mouse to him.
“Ah, well that is unfortunate. I had hoped that you might be able to get to her before that happened. Lil’ Miss Sarah is quite the manipulator. Especially with fellow children.” He hummed into the receiver as he was thinking about something. I nervously tapped my foot on the carpeted floor and looked at the door separating me from the girls. And my eyes widened as I saw the door slowly close.
“Sir…I think they might know I’m here.” I whispered into my phone. There was silence on his end and I looked down at my phone to see if he’d hung up on me. “Sir?” I asked with desperation in my voice. I started nervously pacing around the room waiting for him to answer me.
“Get out of that house, Macedonia,” he told me in a serious tone. He didn’t have to tell me twice I was already heading for the door to get out of the room and out into the hallway. I opened the door and started making my way toward the stairs. Just before I could reach the first step I felt two pairs of small hands shove me down the stairs. My phone flew out of my hand as I came tumbling down to the first floor. The second time on one of these jobs I’d fallen down a flight of stairs.
“Great job, Em!” A small southern voice shouted out. I groaned and rolled over on my back, quickly met by someone sitting on my chest and holding a knife to my neck. This was quickly turning into the worst day ever, almost on par with when I first met King Creole. When my vision finally focused on the tiny figure straddling my chest I saw that it was the living voodoo doll girl. She was wearing a small 50s-style dress with brown hair tied in pigtails, she looked almost like Shirley Temple. Although I don’t think she was in any mood to give me animal crackers.
“W-what should we do now, Sarah?” a softer voice asked. Turning my head to the side, I saw standing behind us on the stairs was a little girl who also had pigtails. The voodoo doll who was named Sarah looked back at the little girl and then back down at me. A smile came across her face as she inched the knife close to my fresh stitches.
“Call the police, Em. I’ll keep her here,” she ordered the other girl, who quickly scurried off to go and find a phone. I stared up at the little girl and could tell from the look on her face that she wasn’t a normal little girl if the fact that she was a living voodoo doll was any indication of that being the case.
“You’re going back to the store.” I threatened her. She giggled and poked the tip of her knife into the gaps in the stitches of my neck. I shuddered and tried to remain perfectly still as she silently threatened me.
“You’re stupid if you think he’s going to let you go after you complete his tasks.” She told me. She may have been a little girl but he had the mind of a deranged killer by the sound of her. I believed her of course, it was something I thought about often. What was going to stop him from turning me into a voodoo doll or something worse?
“What choice do I have?” I asked her, wishing so badly I could simply just shove her off of me. But with how her knife was held at my throat one wrong move and I wouldn’t have Creole close by to save me a second time. The little girl looked down at me and then back up towards upstairs momentarily.
“It’s been almost sixty years and so much has changed. But I do know one thing.” Sarah giggled maniacally as she looked back at me with a deranged look on her face. “I’m going to enjoy carving her like a pumpkin.” She motioned toward the upstairs. I clenched my fists and without even thinking decked the little girl in the face, sending her flying off of me. I acted quickly and started running toward the front door.
I barely got a few feet before I was tackled to the floor. The one time the cops arrived on time and it had to be the time that I was running from them. I kicked and tried to get them off of me but I realized real quickly that that wasn’t going to get me anywhere and simply went limp. My first thought was how my Mom and Dad were going to react to this. As I was shoved into the police cruiser I glanced over to the front door where Sarah and Em were standing staring at me. And Sarah had her arm wrapped around Em and staring with a sadistic smile at me.
When I arrived at the police station I was quickly booked and tossed into an interrogation room. I quickly sat in the corner of the room and curled up in a ball on my chair. All I could think about was how my parents were going to react to this. They had tried so hard to prevent me from going down this path and here I was, under arrest and probably about to be thrown into jail. How exactly could I tell them that I was working for a living voodoo doll, tracking down his escaped voodoo doll children? I sighed as I fumbled around with the handcuffs that were on my wrists to pass the time.
When the door to the interrogation room opened three hours later, I expected the stereotypical overweight cop to be interrogating me. Instead, I was met by a uniformed cop who looked like he’d just seen the most horrendous things that had ever happened. He fumbled around with his keys before unlocking my handcuffs and helping me stand up.
“I’m so sorry. We had no idea of knowing that you worked for Mr. Creole. If you had told us that we wouldn’t have even brought you here.” He was in an absolute panic. His words were going a million miles an hour and it took me a few seconds to process everything. I rubbed my wrists and he quickly exited the room and told me to follow him. The entire station was muttering to themselves as they saw me walk past them.
“You guys know King Creole?” I asked the officer leading me toward the lobby of the station. He looked back at me and sighed as he held onto this bulletproof vest like every cop does.
“We have…an understanding with him. He keeps crime low. We…stay out of his way,” he told me in shame. My mouth dropped at that revelation. It all made sense. How the murders in the house with the lumberjack doll were never investigated, why my ‘missing’ friends weren’t found. Why I was now suddenly being released without so much as a slap on the wrist. He had the police in his pocket.
At the lobby of the station, I was met by a horrifying sight. I had expected Creole to be there to pick me up. But instead, it was Jacob. Or rather what had once been Jacob. His eyes had been replaced by buttons and he was as pale as Creole was. It looked like he had been cut straight down the middle and was being held together by stitches and metal staples. His mouth, unlike Creole’s, was sewn shut and tightly. He bowed down at me as if I was someone important or royalty.
“I take it, this freak is with you?” the officer escorting me asked, to which I nodded and shuddered in fear. I hadn’t known Jacob very well. But to see someone I knew at all turned into one of Creole’s playthings again like Jess, had almost sent me into a full-blown panic attack.
I was realsed into Jacob’s company and he opened the door for me to exit the station. And to my confusion and horror, we had somehow stepped out into the voodoo shop. I looked back at Jacob as he followed me through the door and silently motioned for me to go to the register. I hesitated at first before following his instructions. He went in the back, probably to get his new boss, and left me standing before the counter.
“Mace!” Creole shouted excitedly, his entire body drenched in blood. I shuddered and stepped back as he took his place at the register picked up the template doll from the register and began tossing it up and down in his hand. “Quite the mess you caused. You left me to clean it up.” He teased me as he continued to toss the doll up and down.
“I-I’m sorry, sir.” I apologized submissively, staring down at the floor like a child about to be scolded. “It just…all got out of hand.” That could be used to explain my current situation or my entire life since first breaking into this hellhole.
“Apology accepted. It felt nice to step out of the shop for once,” he said as he stopped tossing the doll up and down and pointed with a bloodstained gloved finger toward the wall of voodoo dolls. I followed his gaze and saw that Sarah had been returned to voodoo doll form and was back on the wall, much higher up this time. “Unfortunately I didn’t get there in time to save poor Miss Emily.” He sighed sadly, his finger drifting down toward a doll just under Sarah,
I covered my mouth in horror as I saw a doll that looked exactly like Emily under her. “What happened?” I asked him. He looked at me and held up his finger to his bloodstained face.
“It’s better ya don’t know.” He hummed out. “Sarah was quite the little murderer back in the 50s. You wouldn’t believe the amount of trouble I had getting her to walk into my shop,” he said with a smile as he tossed the template doll back on the register and leaned in closer to me.
“Even though you failed to get her back, I’ll still count this as your favor done.” He held up two fingers. “Two more to go.” I nodded and reached up to pick at my stitches, just wanting some way to relieve the mounting stress and anxiety building up inside of me.
“Do you…have something to hide these?” I asked, pointing toward my wound. He looked at me and slapped the register table. I thought he was about to fly off the hinges and tear me apart or something, but instead, he looked shocked.
“Dear me, where is my head at?! Of course, darling. One moment. Jacob my boy?” He snapped his fingers toward the now mute Jacob. He went rigid like a soldier at attention, ready to receive whatever order his new boss had for him. “Go into my office and fetch the ointment for lil’ Miss Macedonia here.” He ordered and Jacob dutifully nodded and walked back toward Creole’s office.
I was left alone with him as Jacob went to get my ointment. He stared at me with his button eyes for an uncomfortable amount of time. When the banging started up again from the basement door I watched as his face contorted from his usual cheerily creepy smile to one of annoyance and rage. When Jacob finally returned with the ointment it wasn’t quick enough. I took it from him and was so happy that it came with instructions.
I left the shop just as Creole stood up to go toward the basement. I applied the ointment as I walked along the sidewalk back toward my house. To my immense relief, I watched through my phone as the hideous scar and stitches disappeared before my eyes. I was left with a horrifying dilemma.
When Creole was done with me, would he turn me into a voodoo doll? Or a mutilated living corpse like Jacob.

• Items come from a non-smoking household but I do have cats.
• Shipping - U.S.A. Shipping will be weight based but starts at $4. Anything over 16 ounces will be shipped Priority mail. Tracking is included in the shipping cost. If I include anything extra in the package, I will pay for the additional weight, not you. Spend $50 and get free shipping.
• I will send you an invoice through Paypal. Payment must be made within 3 hours of being invoiced/notified, otherwise failure to pay will result in the item being offered to next interested party or relisted.
• MINIMUM PURCHASE OF $10. If you want to see more pictures of an item or have questions, please ask beforehand. As I have a few GWP/minis - please check the size as I don't want you to have any misunderstandings on what is listed.Colors in my pictures may not be true to life - so please google swatches for more accurate coloring. Please click on pictures to enlarge. They are to show usage.
• Please reply within a few hours, otherwise I will move on to the next interested party. I do not hold items.
• Freebies: Spend $25 or more and pick anything $5 or less as a free gift. Just pay for shipping. Maximum 3 free items per person.

Pat McGrath ($110 w/free shipping if you take the whole lot):

• New Eye Ecstasy Subversive MINI eyeshadow palette. Discontinued. $17
• MTHRSHP Subversive La Vie en Rose palette (right, pink covered palette). Discontinued. Most shades used 1x. $35
• MTHRSHP Sublime Bronze Ambition palette (left, green/gold covered palette). Discontinued. Most shades used 3-4x. $35
• Iconic Illumination quad. Used 4x. $30
• Blitztrance lipstick in Rebel Red 075. Discontinued. Used 2x. $15

Guerlain ($140 w/free shipping if you take the whole lot):

• BNIB Meteorites Perles D’Etoile LE 2014. $70
• Meteorites Gold Pearl LE 2017. Used 1x. $45
• Madame Rougit 4 Colours Blush LE 2013. Used 2x, overspray gone. $30
• Rouge G in Geraldine 77. Used 1x. $25

Viseart 12 pan palettes. These are NOT the newer Slimline Pro ones. These are the original palettes where the pans are not removable. Many of the clear lids are scuffed (see pics for scuffing).

• Paris Nude. Shadows look weird because I put too much alcohol on the shadows. Hinges are completely broken off. SOLD
• Bridal Satin. Some shades used 2-4x. Hinges on both sides are broken (see picture). $25

*Cool Mattes. Most shades swatched or used 2-3x. Hinge on one side is starting to break (see picture). SOLD

• Boheme Dream. Most shades unused/~4 shades swatched. $40
  
• Neutral Mattes. Most shades swatched. $40
  
• Dark Mattes. ~1/2 shades used 1-2x. SOLD
  
• Bijoux Royal - ~1/2 shades swatched 1-2x. $40
  

SUQQU:

• SUQQU FACE POWDER BRUSH. Discontinued. This is made from squirrel, not synthetic. The new brushes are all synthetic. In good condition. Comes with box. $250
• SUQQU Designing Color Eyes in 07 Hikuikou. Used 2x. $50
• SUQQU Designing Color Eyes in 116 Shakuyousa. Used 1x. $55
• BNIB SUQQU 15th Anniversary Palette Genshibeni. $79
• SUQQU Nude Illuminating Highlight Stick 101. See pic for usage. $15

Rouge Bunny Rouge ($30 for all)

• Highlighter Powder in 006 Sweet To Touch. Used 3-4x. $15
• Colour Burst Lipsticks in 013 Word of Mouth (new, left) and 018 Raw Silence (used 1x, right). $5 each or $8 for both
• Long-lasting Eyeshadow in 018 Resplendent Quetzal. Swatched. $10
• Long -lasting Duo Eyeshadow in 038 A Major fis Minor. Used 2x. $8

Sleek. Palette & blush trios are $3 each & blush singles are $1 each.

• i-Divine eyeshadow palette in Storm 578. Most shades used 2-3x.SOLD
• Blush trios in Sweet Cheeks (top left), Pumpkin (top right), Pink Spirit (bottom left), Flame (bottom right)
• single blushes in Sunrise 924 (left) & Antique 142 (right)

Vincent Longo ($25 for all)

• Vincent Longo Chiara Flush Stick in Ibisca. Case is scratched up from being in makeup drawer. Used 3x. $5
• Vincent Longo Pearl X Eyeshadow in Morning Glory. BNIB $10 (left) & used 2x $5 (right)
• Vincent Longo Pearl X Eyeshadow in Novalei. Used 3-4x. $5
• Vincent Longo Cangiante Dimensional eyeshadows in Don't Speak (left) and Hypnotize (right). Used 1x. $5 each or $8 for both

Misc. Lipsticks:

• Charlotte Tilbury Matte Revolution lipstick in 1975 Red (left) and ~~Miranda May (right) SOLD~~ . Both used 3-4x. $15 each
• Charlotte Tilbury Airbrush Flawless Lip Blur in Pillow Talk Blur. Used 1x. SOLD
• Rodin Olio Lusso Luxury lipstick in Winks. Used 3x. $10
• Besame Merlot (right) $10 and Noir Red (left and has wax bloom as can be seen on pic) free w/$25 purchase or $1 SOLD
• BNIB Nars mini Powermatte lipstick in Dragon Girl. SOLD
• Tarte Color Splash Shade Shifting lipstick in Yacht Week & Pink Sand. Used 2x. $5 each
• Urban Decay x Gwen Stafani lipstick Firebird (used 5-6x) & lipliner Firebird (see pic for availability). Scuffing on lipstick case. $10 for both
• Urban Decay Vice in Backtalk Matte MINI. Used 1x. $2
• New Revlon Lipbutter in 040 Red Velvet. $5
• New Revlon Superlustrous in Fifth Ave Red. $8

Misc Face Stuffs:

• Burberry London with Love blush/highlighter. Used 2x. $40
• Anastasia Beverly Hills Amrezy highlighter. Used 3-4x. $34
• Surratt Artistique Blush in Rougeur. Used 4-5x. $15
• Nars x Pierre Hardy in Boys Don't Cry. Outer casing is sticky (typical w/Nars packaging). Used 4x/overspray gone. $15
• Laura Geller Baked Gelato Swirl Illuminator in Peach Glow (left) SOLD and Charming Pink (right). Used 2x each. $9 each
• Lancome Teint Idole Ultra Wear stick blush in Bright Red 201. Used 3x. $5
• Tarte Amazon Clay 12 hour Highlighter MINI in Stunner (0.007 oz/2.2 gm). Used 2-3x. $5

Misc Eye Stuffs:

• Chanel Les 4 Ombres eyeshadow quad in 18 Kaska Beige. Discontinued. Used 3-4x. $45
• Anastasia Beverly Hills Subculture (top) $18 and Modern Renaissance (bottom) $18. Or $30 for both. Velvet cases are a little dirty as can be seen here. SOLD
• BNIB Tom Ford Eye Color Quad in Last Dance. SOLD
• Tom Ford Eye Color Quad in Seductive Rose. Used 2x. $45
• Natasha Denona eyeshadow single in Cygnus 515SF (from Xenon palette). Swatched. $5
• Coloured Raine Cheers to the Beauty palette. Most shades used 3-4x. $15
• Nars Dual Intensity eyeshadow in Desdemona. See pic for usage. Case is slightly sticky as usual per Nars packaging. $5
• Shu Uemura pressed eyeshaodw in ME Brown 860. See pic for usage. $5
• Ardency Inn Modster Manuka Honey Enriched Pigments in Orchid (top right), Peacock (bottom) and Punch (top left). $5 each or $12 for all 3
• Le Metier de Beaute True Colour Eyeshadow in Fig/Figue (left) and Alexandrite (right). Sticky packaging. Both used 2x. $8 each or $14 for both
• BNIB Too Faced Better Than Sex MINI mascara. SOLD
• BNIB Benefit Gimme Brow MINI in Warm Deep Brown #4. SOLD

Misc Brushes:

• Sonia G Sculpt One brush (right $75) and Sculpt Four brush (left $58). Other sides of brush. Both are in great shape and discontinued.
• New MAC 168 NATURAL haired brush(not the new synthetic). Discontinued. Authentic (bought from Macy's MAC counter). Still in plastic sleeve. $40
• Sonia Kashuk blush brush (right) $5
• Sephora 56.5 Pro MINI Flawless Airbrush VIB Rouge red handle (left) $5

Foundation/Concealer:

• Surratt Dew Drop foundation in 1.5 with sample packet in 1.5. Used 5x. $30
• BNIB YSL Touche Eclat High Cover sample packet. $2

All $1 or pick one with $25 spend. Maximum 3 freebies per person.

• Becca Beach Tint in Papaya. Still smells & works well. Used 4-5x
• BNIB Kylie Matte Liquid lipstick in Koko K 300 MINI (left) SOLD
• Revlon Matte in 005 Strawberry Suede (left) and Lipbutter in Peach Parfait (right). See pic for usage
• Fenty Beauty Mattemoiselle in Griselda MINI (right). Used 2x
• L'Oreal Infallible eyeshadow in Amber Rush (left) & Pink Sapphire (right). Used 3-4x
• Catrice Absolute Eye Colour in I Like to Mauve It 560. Used 4-5x

As we're nearing the lineup release, here's a list of bands eliminated from playing Riot Fest by their tour schedule, either because they'll be someplace 500+ miles away from Douglass Park that weekend, or because they have another date near Chicago this summefall. (Keep in mind that Riot seems to use a sliding scale on their radius restrictions, and makes some exceptions every year.) If something new gets announced or I missed something, post a comment with a link, and I'll update the list.
Big thanks to u/Specialist-Berry-492 for compiling all this info.
Artists eliminated because they have dates over Riot Fest weekend:
AFI
The Airborne Toxic Event
All That Remains
The Avett Brothers
Bandits of the Acoustic Revolution
The Beaches
Been Stellar
The Bellrays
The Black Keys
Black Veil Brides
Blaqk Audio
The Breeders
Boys Like Girls
Childish Gambino
Chromeo
Coal Chamber
Converge
Culture Club
Dance Gavin Dance
Dashboard Confessional
Denzel Curry
Dinosaur Jr
The Dirty Nil
Dreamcar
Elvis Costello
Everclear
Explosions in the Sky
Falling In Reverse
Father John Misty
Five Finger Death Punch
The Flaming Lips
Folk Implosion
Fontaines DC
Frank Turner
Future Islands
Glass Animals
Gojira
Green Day
Greta Van Fleet
The Grogans
Ice Nine Kills
Idles
James
Jimmie's Chicken Shack
Johnny Marr
Killswitch Engage
King Crimson
Korn
Kreator
Kublai Khan TX
Lamp
The Lemon Twigs
The Linda Lindas
Lorna Shore
Lucius
Machine Head
Madness
Mammoth WVH
Marcy's Playground
Megadeth
Melvins
Metallica
The Midnight
Moby
Mr Bungle
Mudvayne
Nails
The National
Neko Case
Ocean Alley
Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark
Overkill
Paul Weller
Pianos Become the Teeth
Possessed
Pouya
Pretty Girls Make Graves
Pulp
Rancid
The Red Chord
Sebadoh
The Sisters of Mercy
Slackers
Smashing Pumpkins
Social Distortion
Spiritbox
Squeeze
Stars
Sting
Streetlight Manifesto
$uicideBoy$
Taylor Acorn
Tech N9ne
Testament
The The
Tokyo Police Club
Tool
Twenty One Pilots
Twiztid
The Wallflowers
The War on Drugs
Wednesday 13
Weezer
Whitechapel
Willow
Yo La Tengo
The Zutons
Artists unlikely with other dates in Chicagoland:

Artist	Venue & Date
Pixies	Northerly 6/19
Modest Mouse	Northerly 6/19
Cat Power	Northerly 6/19
They Might Be Giants	Vic 6/19
Murder By Death	Durty Nellies 6/19
Wildermiss	Durty Nellies 6/19
Quasi	Lincoln Hall 6/19
Marnie Stern	Lincoln Hall 6/19
Glazed	Cobra Lounge 6/19
The Used	Hard Rock Gary 6/20
Story of the Year	Hard rock Gary 6/20
Violent Femmes	Ravinia 6/21
The Spill Canvas	Bottom Lounge 6/21
Punchline	Bottom Lounge 6/21
Protomartyr	Empty Bottle 6/21
Los Campesinos	Thalia Hall 6/22
Short Fictions	Thalia Hall 6/22
I Am the Avalanche	Bottom Lounge 6/22
Be Well	Bottom Lounge 6/22
Such Gold	Bottom Lounge 6/22
Sludgeworth	Beat Kitchen 6/22
Feral Tact	Beat Kitchen 6/22
The Fray	Brookfield Zoo 6/22
HIRS Collective	Reggies 6/22
Cuss	Reggies 6/22
The Young Fresh Fellows	Hideout 6/22
JC Brooks Band	Off North Shore Skokie 6/22
Aaron West & the Roaring 20s	Bottom Lounge 6/23
Future Teens	Bottom Lounge 6/23
Maura Weaver	Bottom Lounge 6/23
Reverend Horton Heat	Cobra Lounge 6/23
Arrows In Action	Lincoln Hall 6/23
Pedro the Lion	Thalia Hall 6/24
Squirrel Flower	Thalia Hall 6/24
Kurt Vile	Space 6/25
Pallbearer	Thalia Hall 6/26
REZN	Thalia Hall 6/26
The Keening	Thalia Hall 6/26
Dandy Warhols	Metro 6/27
Sisters of Your Sunshine Vapor	Metro 6/27
Hawthorne Heights	Salt Shed 6/28
I See Stars	Salt Shed 6/28
Anberlin	Salt Shed 6/28
Emery	Salt Shed 6/28
This Wild Life	Salt Shed 6/28
Third Eye Blind	Northerly 6/28
Yellowcard	Northerly 6/28
Arizona	Northerly 6/28
The Church	Vic 6/28
The Afghan Whigs	Vic 6/28
Ed Harcourt	Vic 6/28
The Hold Steady	Space 6/28
AJR	Allstate 6/29
mxmtoon	Allstate 6/29
Almost Monday	Allstate 6/29
Metric	Hard Rock Gary 6/29
Venus & the Flytraps	Hard Rock Gary 6/29
Anxious	Avondale Hall 6/29
One Step Closer	Avondale Hall 6/29
Koyo	Avondale Hall 6/29
Prize Horse	Avondale Hall 6/29
The Dog and Everything	Bottom Lounge 6/29
AM Taxi	Bottom Lounge 6/29
Super Happy Fun Club	Bottom Lounge 6/29
Night Spice	Bottom Lounge 6/29
Softcult	Cobra Lounge 6/29
Present	Cobra Lounge 6/29
Counting Crows	Tinley 6/29
Early November	Bottom Lounge 6/30
Spitalfield	Bottom Lounge 6/30
Cliffdiver	Bottom Lounge 6/30
Prince Daddy & the Hyena	Subterranean 7/1
Saturdays at Your Place	Subterranean 7/1
Riley	Subterranean 7/1
Carpool	Subterranean 7/1
Fresh	Beat Kitchen 7/1
Party'z	Beat Kitchen 7/1
Plain White T's	Frontier Days 7/4
Supersuckers	Reggies 7/5
Lords of Altamont	Reggies 7/5
Ravagers	Reggies 7/5
Old 97's	American Music Festival
The Jayhawks	American Music Festival
Robert Randolph Band	American Music Festival
Ha Ha Tonka	American Music Festival
Joe Pug	American Music Festival
Ike Reilly Assasination	American Music Festival
Waco Brothers	American Music Festival
My Morning Jacket	Rose on the River
Thundercat	Rose on the River
Tash Sultana	Rose on the River
Vulfpeck	Rose on the River
badbadnotgood	Rose on the River
Tank & the Bangas	Rose on the River
Eidola	Bottom Lounge 7/6
Royal Coda	Bottom Lounge 7/6
Wolf & Bear	Bottom Lounge 7/6
Hoobastank	Frontier Days 7/6
Os Mutantes	Outset 7/7
JXDN	Concord 7/7
Gunnar	Concord 7/7
Lolo	Concord 7/7
Cracker	Space 7/7
Iron & Wine	Salt Shed 7/8
D.R.U.G.S.	Reggies 7/10
Savage Hands	Reggies 7/10
Downswing	Reggies 7/10
The Requiem	Reggies 7/10
Grails	Empty Bottle 7/10
New Pornographers	Old Town School of Folk 7/11
Powerman 5000	Vixen 7/11
Sponge	Vixen 7/11
Tantric	Vixen 7/11
Barenaked Ladies	Brookfield Zoo 7/12
Pegboy	Metro 7/12
The Arrivals	Metro 7/12
Canadian Rifle	Metro 7/12
Criminal Kids	Metro 7/12
Mother Mother	Northerly Island 7/13
Cavetown	Northerly Island 7/13
Pussy Riot	Outset 7/13
Radar Waves	Sideouts 7/13
Black Lips	Empty Bottle 7/14
Journey	Wrigley 7/15
Def Leppard	Wrigley 7/15
Cheap Trick	Wrigley 7/15
Strand of Oaks	Empty Bottle 7/15
Redd Kross	Lincoln Hall 7/16
Black Pumas	Pitchfork
Alanis Morrisette	Pitchfork
100 Gecs	Pitchfork
Jeff Rosenstock	Pitchfork
De La Soul	Pitchfork
Bratmobile	Pitchfork
Les Savy Fav	Pitchfork
Crumb	Pitchfork
Wednesday	Pitchfork
Mannequin Pussy	Pitchfork
Model/Actriz	Pitchfork
Hotline TNT	Pitchfork
Unwound	Pitchfork
Hobo Johnson	Vic 7/17
Remo Drive	Vic 7/17
BabyJake	Vic 7/17
OFF!	Lincoln Hall 7/18
Mates of State	Subterranean 7/18
Reverend Peyton	Fitzgeralds 7/18
The Queers	Reggies 7/19
Sloppy Seconds	Reggies 7/19
Bollweevils	Reggies 7/19
Raging Nathans	Reggies 7/19
Mae	The Piazza 7/19
Hembree	The Piazza 7/19
Weekend Nachos	Cobra Lounge 7/19
Frozen Soul	Cobra Lounge 7/19
Bulldoze	Cobra Lounge 7/19
Creeping Death	Cobra Lounge 7/19
Hope Conspiracy	Cobra Lounge 7/20
Modern Life is War	Cobra Lounge 7/20
Conservative Military Image	Cobra Lounge 7/20
Waking the Cadaver	Cobra Lounge 7/20
The Maine	Salt Shed 7/20
Mayday Parade	Salt Shed 7/20
The Wonder Years	Salt Shed 7/20
We The Kings	Salt Shed 7/20
Real Friends	Salt Shed 7/20
Knuckle Puck	Salt Shed 7/20
The Summer Set	Salt Shed 7/20
Daisy Grenade	Salt Shed 7/20
Diva Bleach	Salt Shed 7/20
Saw Doctors	Aragon 7/20
Limp Bizkit	Tinley 7/20
Bones	Tinley 7/20
N8Noface	Tinley 7/20
Corey Feldman	Tinley 7/20
Riff Raff	Tinley 7/20
Schoolboy Q	Ramova 7/20
Vanilla Ice	Riveredge Park 7/20
311	Salt Shed 7/21
Awolnation	Salt Shed 7/21
Neon Trees	Salt Shed 7/21
I Prevail	Tinley 7/21
Halestorm	Tinley 7/21
Hollywood Undead	Tinley 7/21
Fit For a King	Tinley 7/21
As I Lay Dying	House of Blues 7/21
Chelsea Grin	House of Blues 7/21
Entheos	House of Blues 7/21
Closure in Moscow	Bottom Lounge 7/21
Toehider	Bottom Lounge 7/21
Misery Signals	Avondale Hall 7/24
Oolong	Beat Kitchen 7/24
Newgrounds Death Rugby	Beat Kitchen 7/24
A Day to Remember	Northerly 7/25
The Story So Far	Northerly 7/25
Four Year Strong	Northerly 7/25
Scowl	Northerly 7/25
And So I Watch You from Afar	House of Blues 7/25
Caspian	House of Blues 7/25
Superdrag	Wicker Park Fest
All Time Low	Salt Shed 7/26
Courtney Barnett	Out of Space Fest 7/26
Bob Mould	Out of Space Fest 7/26
Pretenders	Chicago Theatre 7/26
Bowling for Soup	Vic 7/26
Keep Flying	Vic 7/26
Eternal Boy	Vic 7/26
Still Woozy	Salt Shed 7/27
Thee Sacred Souls	Out of Space Fest 7/27
St Paul & the Broken Bones	Out of Space Fest 7/27
Jeremie Albino	Out of Space Fest 7/27
Vampire Weekend	Northerly 7/27
Ra Ra Riot	Northerly 7/27
Princess	Northerly 7/27
Local H	Merchant Street Music Fest 7/27
Radkey	Merchant Street Music Fest 7/27
Vertical Horizon	Merchant Street Music Fest 7/27
Gin Blossoms	Brookfield Zoo 7/27
Breathe Carolina	Sound-Bar 7/27
Lambrini Girls	Sleeping Village 7/27
Guster	Out of Space Fest 7/28
The Lone Bellow	Out of Space Fest 7/28
Devon Gilfillian	Out of Space Fest 7/28
The War And Treaty	Thalia Hall 7/28
Irontom	Beat Kitchen 7/28
Stick Figure	Salt Shed 7/30
Soja	Salt Shed 7/30
Scene Queen	Concord 7/30
Magnolia Park	Concord 7/30
The Home Team	Concord 7/30
Stand Atlantic	Concord 7/30
Honey Revenge	Concord 7/30
Letdown	Concord 7/30
Snõõper	Empty Bottle 7/30
DIIV	Thalia Hall 7/30
The Killers	Lollapalooza
Blink 182	Lollapalooza
Deftones	Lollapalooza
Pierce the Veil	Lollapalooza
Killer Mike	Lollapalooza
TV Girl	Lollapalooza
Hippo Campus	Lollapalooza
Two Door Cinema Club	Lollapalooza
Vince Staples	Lollapalooza
Kevin Abstract	Lollapalooza
In This Moment	Lollapalooza
The Last Dinner Party	Lollapalooza
Waterparks	Lollapalooza
Destroy Boys	Lollapalooza
Cults	Lollapalooza
Fleshwater	Lollapalooza
Militarie Gun	Lollapalooza
Slow Pulp	Lollapalooza
Worry Club	Lollapalooza
Brigitte Calls Me Baby	Lollapalooza
Wolves of Glendale	Lollapalooza
The Verve Pipe	Roberts Westside 8/3
Beach Boys w/ John Stamos	Ravinia 8/7
Bush	Northerly 8/7
Jerry Cantrell	Northerly 8/7
Candlebox	Northerly 8/7
Green Jelly	Hobart Art Theatre 8/7
The Convalescence	Hobart Art Theatre 8/7
Jason Isbell & the 400 Unit	Ravinia 8/8
Buffalo Tom	Metro 8/8
Pantera	Soldier Field 8/9
The Revivalists	Salt Shed 8/9
Flipturn	Salt Shed 8/9
Hootie & the Blowfish	Tinley 8/9
Collective Soul	Tinley 8/9
Fear	Reggies 8/10
Giuda	Reggies 8/10
30 Seconds to Mars	Northerly 8/10
AFI	Northerly 8/10
Poppy	Northerly 8/10
Kennyhoopla	Northerly 8/10
Stray Cats	Hard Rock Gary 8/10
SeeYouSpaceCowboy	Bottom Lounge 8/10
Callous Daoboys	Bottom Lounge 8/10
Iration	Salt Shed 8/11
Pepper	Salt Shed 8/11
Indigo Girls	Ravinia 8/11
Cage the Elephant	UIC 8/14
Young the Giant	UIC 8/14
Bakar	UIC 8/14
Stacked Like Pancakes	Reggies 8/14
Robot Civil War	Reggies 8/14
Dang!t	Reggies 8/14
Rude Echoes	Reggies 8/14
Mad Caddies	Reggies 8/15
Creed	Tinley 8/16
3 Doors Down	Tinley 8/16
Finger Eleven	Tinley 8/16
Santigold	Concord 8/17
The Struts	Riviera 8/17
Barns Courtney	Riviera 8/17
Juvenile	Radius 8/17
O.A.R.	Ravinia 8/23
Fitz and the Tantrums	Ravinia 8/23
Built to Spill	Metro 8/23
Kittie	Concord 8/23
VCTMS	Concord 8/23
Conquer Divide	Concord 8/23
Incubus	Allstate 8/24
Coheed and Cambria	Allstate 8/24
Dillinger Escape Plan	Salt Shed 8/24
The World is a Beautiful Place	Salt Shed 8/24
No Men	Salt Shed 8/24
The Roots	Ravinia 8/24
Digable Planets	Ravinia 8/24
Arrested Development	Ravinia 8/24
La Luz	Subterranean 8/26
Why?	Outset 8/28
Glen Hansard	Salt Shed 8/28
Gaslight Anthem	Salt Shed 8/29
Joyce Manor	Salt Shed 8/29
Pinkshift	Salt Shed 8/29
Bikini Kill	Salt Shed 8/30
T-Pain	Tinley 8/30
Pearl Jam	Wrigley 8/31
King Gizzard & guest	Northerly 9/1
Geese	Northerly 9/1
Powerwolf	Vic 9/3
Unleash the Archers	Vic 9/3
Suicide Machines	Bottom Lounge 9/6
Hey Smith	Bottom Lounge 9/6
Kill Lincoln	Bottom Lounge 9/6
Bad Operation	Bottom Lounge 9/6
Peter Hook	Riviera 9/7
The Lox	Concord 9/7
Avril Lavigne	Northerly 9/10
Simple Plan	Northerly 9/10
Girlfriends	Northerly 9/10
Live	Northerly 9/11
Stone Temple Pilots	Northerly 9/11
Soul Asylum	Northerly 9/11
Dirty Heads	Rise Up McHenry 9/12
Sublime with Rome	Rise Up McHenry 9/12
Ted Leo & the Pharmacists	Metro 9/14
Soft Kill	Bottom Lounge 9/14
Beton Arme	Bottom Lounge 9/14
Goth Babe	Salt Shed 9/15
Ritt Momney	Salt Shed 9/15
Crash Test Dummies	City Winery 9/19
Sigur Ros	Auditorium Theatre 9/21
Thievery Corporation	Outset 9/28
Sunny Day Real Estate	House of Blues 9/24
Lake Street Dive	Salt Shed 9/26
Badflower	Riviera 9/27
Slothrust	Riviera 9/27
American Football	Thalia Hall 9/27
Kneecap	Concord 9/27
Kings of Leon	Northerly 9/28
Phantogram	Northerly 9/28
Previous Industries	Schubas 9/28
Spirit of the Beehive	Outset 9/28
Fugitive	Reggies 9/28
Brain Bleed	Reggies 9/28
Snuffed	Reggies 9/28
Till Lindemann	Aragon 9/29
Twin Temple	Aragon 9/29
PJ Harvey	Salt Shed 9/30
Bob Vylan	Subterranean 10/1
Mt Joy	Salt Shed 10/3
Yard Act	Metro 10/4
Toad the Wet Sprocket	Northwestern U 10/5
Duster	Thalia Hall 10/9
Dirty Art Club	Thalia Hall 10/9
Nada Surf	Thalia Hall 10/10
Office Dog	Thalia Hall 10/10
Illuminati Hotties	Lincoln Hall 10/10
Daffo	Lincoln Hall 10/10
Boris	Ramova 10/11
Starcrawler	Ramova 10/11
Superchunk	Lincoln Hall 10/15
Nothing But Thieves	Aragon 10/16
Sports Team	Aragon 10/16
Rise Against	Salt Shed 10/18
Osees	Thalia Hall 10/18
Iguana Death Cult	Thalia Hall 10/18
Hinds	Thalia Hall 10/21
Iron Maiden	Allstate 10/24
The Hu	Allstate 10/24
Enter Shikari	Bottom Lounge 10/25
You Me At Six	Bottom Lounge 10/25
Yours Truly	Bottom Lounge 10/25
Lawrence	Aragon 10/25
The Go! Team	Lincoln Hall 10/28
Drive By Truckers	House of Blues 11/1
The Garden	Aragon 11/7
Animals As Leaders	House of Blues 11/10
Front 242	Metro 11/15
Underoath	Salt Shed 11/24
Static Dress	Salt Shed 11/24
The Blood Brothers	Thalia Hall 12/20

I've always been a girl who loves animals, and now that I have two pet rabbits, both adoped within the last year, I am extra excited about the return of Nui Cobalt's Critters collection! This collection isn't entirely sweet cuddly woodland creatures, but it does have a lot of those, including three of my all-time favorite Nui Cobalts: Little Brown Rabbit, Little White Rabbit, and Lilac Rabbit. When Forest posted in the Facebook group asking which Critters we'd like to see return, or which animals we'd love to see emerge as new Critters, I waxed rhapsodic about the Rabbits and suggested a bunch of other colorings of rabbits that could become amazing perfumes... so I'm hopeful that we might even get a new Rabbit this year. I would just about die of happiness if she really did make a Blue Otter Rabbit after my sweet bun Hazel. She also teased a Ladybug scent for this year, which would be SO CUTE!
Anyway, the Critters are due back this Friday, with the newsletter announcing them on Thursday, and I am excited. As usual, I thought I'd post my thoughts on all the past Critters I've tried in case that might help you formulate your wishlist. And if you've tried any of these, I'd love to hear your thoughts! Was your experience similar to mine?
My preferences: I especially love snuggly scents, incense, golden amber, cardamom, black tea, beeswax, non-gourmand vanillas, and white florals (particularly tiare, honeysuckle and tuberose; sadly I am allergic to lilies and jasmine doesn’t work on me). I don't like hay, overly sweet gourmands, excessive musk, dragon’s blood, leather, patchouli, labdanum, or any really dark scents in general. To my great devastation, Nui Cobalt’s apricot and pear notes don’t tend to work on me, though I haven’t given up hope and I continue to try new blends with those notes occasionally.
Most of these perfumes were provided as press samples by Nui Cobalt in exchange for an honest review.
​

Rabbits

Little Brown Rabbit [Nutmeg and tonka bean nuzzle up against fluffy marshmallow, cottonflower, pink pepper, and a trace of carrot seed] (this perfume is so popular that it is also in the Continuous Collection and available all year 'round!) - This is one of my absolute top perfume oils. It comforts me on hard days, it cozies me on laid-back evenings, it cheers me on rainy days. My husband recognizes it immediately and honestly I think he finds it cuddly too when I'm wearing it, and it's also his primary frame of reference when he sniffs a new sample I'm trying - "that smells a bit like Little Brown Rabbit" is high praise from him. Wet, it's very strongly nutmeg and caramel, almost mapley, but also with just a bit of pepperish bite from the carrot seed - this is as gourmand as I'm willing to get. Once it dries, the caramel dissipates and it becomes the most marvelously snuggly scent. Having a bad day? Little Brown Rabbit can cheer you up. Having a cozy day? Little Brown Rabbit will make it that much better. Wanting to unwind in the evening? Little Brown Rabbit is my go-to snuggly evening scent. And I think it's the absolute must-try from Nui Cobalt.
Little White Rabbit [Nutmeg and tonka bean nuzzle up against cottonflower, white peppercorn, clove, vanilla marshmallow creme, pale blue cashmere, carrot seed, and honeyed almond] - When the news broke that NCD was releasing a new little rabbit variant two years ago, I was SO excited (little did I know that it would seemingly become an annual thing!), and I blind-bought a full-size (something I never do). Especially because Little White Rabbit adds that wonderful cashmere note to Little Brown Rabbit, this one was a no-brainer for me, and my trust was easily rewarded. Nui Cobalt has outdone themselves with this, their most snuggly of perfumes. I expected this to be a lot like LBR only less mapley and perhaps more cashmere-y (and yes, it is both of these things), but truly, LWR feels even more like it's built on a base of Spidersilk vanilla (Starlight and Spidersilk: [Slender strands of cotton flower hung with trembling dewdrops, cold crystalline musk, and tiny black vanilla beans]), with some of the LBR spices (the peppercorn and carrot seed, but I don't sense any cloves) plus the comforting warmth of the cashmere and almond of Silver Fox (see below), another favorite of mine. And then finally, the marshmallow ties it all together into a pillowy cloud of coziness. It's frankly astonishing. Love at first sniff even just from the vial, and on my skin it blossoms into the most comforting scent. Do I love it even more than LBR? I still can't tell, even years later. I love them both. One final note that may be helpful to some of you: the cottonflower is pretty strong with this one, which is part of why it reminds me so much of the Spidersilk vanilla, but if you're not so much a fan of "clean" laundry-like scents, this one might not be quite your cup of tea - go for LBR instead.
Lilac Rabbit [Nutmeg and tonka bean nuzzle up against toasted marshmallow, carrot seed, summerweight cotton, allspice, and pale lilac in a smooth fur accord] - Oh friends, I hoped and pleaded for another new Rabbit last year, and the universe (and Nui Cobalt) answered! I'm not actually all that fond of lilac and I think I have ended up destashing all of my perfumes with lilac notes, but I was willing to risk it for the chance of a floral Rabbit. Lilac Rabbit is gorgeous - but really, did you expect it to be anything else? I get primarily marshmallow, allspice, and cotton. It sits exactly halfway between the other two Rabbits, with the allspice and peppery carrot seed spices of Little Brown Rabbit (but without the maple quality), and also with the silky, slightly soapy fabric aspect of Little White Rabbit. There is perhaps just a touch of musky lilac, but it doesn't really read to me like a floral perfume. Lilac Rabbit is comfortable. The closest metaphor I can think of is a day when you're wearing a new outfit, one that fits perfectly and really suits you, but it's also completely comfy, with no itchy spots or seams that dig in, and it moves with you. It's like a day where you feel perfectly yourself, fully at ease, and completely put-together. This new Rabbit is everything I could have possibly dreamed of, and it immediately became one of my favorite spring & summer scents.

Squirrels

In past years, they've offered a complete set of all the Squirrels, which was how I tried them all a few years ago. (They've since been discontinued, but sometimes discontinued things return again, or perhaps you might run into one in the swaps, so I'll include all my Squirrel reviews here.) All of the Squirrels are built on the same base of almond + apricot + benzoin, and then each one has different additional notes. Like the Spidersilk variants (all built on the same Spidersilk vanilla base but with different additional notes - my reviews HERE), the Squirrels each have an entirely different vibe. Interestingly, the actual proportion of almond to apricot also seems to vary by Squirrel, perhaps because of the interactions with the different added notes, or perhaps because they actually use different proportions in the Squirrel base for each one. It means that they don't feel anything like near-exact copies of each other, but each have a really distinct identity.
Black Squirrel [A playful blend of almond and spiced apricot, grounded in rich benzoin and copaiba balsam, deepened by black oak, black currant, vanilla bean, and myrrh] - When I first put it on, it's very strongly and exclusively almond - a warm almond that reminds me of baking almond cookies, and it must be the vanilla that helps to make that association. The almond veers slightly towards cherry. As the oil warms on my skin, the apricot emerges and then overtakes the almond. It's apricot skin, soft and velvety, rather than the fleshy fruit of the apricot. These two notes, paired with the woodiness of the balsam and (presumably) black oak, makes this a very bookish scent, perfect for the dark academia aesthetic of my wardrobe in autumn. It's not really an incense-heavy perfume; the myrrh just grounds it and gives it a beautiful dark richness. On me it's not terribly fruity (though I know some folks get mostly dark stone fruits; isn't skin chemistry fascinating!) It's the longest-lasting of the Squirrels, too - the second time I wore it, its throw was a bit too high at bedtime so I washed my wrists, and even so, I could still smell Black Squirrel the next morning!
Flying Squirrel [Raw almond, spiced apricot, and rich benzoin borne aloft by lavender, cotton flower, and tart kumquat] - This one reminds me a lot of Napping in a Flower [Tender ripe apricot, Bulgarian lavender, spiced summer honey, plum blossom, daylily, honeysuckle, and ylang], which makes perfect sense since they share a lot of the same notes, but without the honey and honeysuckle that made Napping too candle-y on me. Husband said this reminds him strongly of Little White Rabbit - he said it's the spices that make that association for him, and I suspect he was also picking up on the shared cotton flower and almond notes. I'm finding it easier to compare Flying Squirrel to other NCD scents than to describe it on its own; its combination of notes feels quite erratic and the concept doesn't feel terribly unified. I couldn't classify this as a "cozy" perfume even though it does have a strong cotton flower note, nor is it citrusy enough for me to think of it as a fruity perfume (even though it has the strongest apricot of all the Squirrels), or herbal enough for it to go in my lavender section (in fact, I'm hoping that some aging brings out the lavender more). If you like Napping in a Flower or Little White Rabbit - two perfumes that are really nothing alike! - you'd probably enjoy this one too.
Grey Squirrel [A playful blend of almond and spiced apricot, grounded in rich benzoin and copaiba balsam, softened with cotton flower, cashmere, and teakwood] - This one gives the effect of eating an almond cookie while snuggled in a wool blanket. This one is super cozy - the autumn cousin of my beloved wintertime snuggly scents (Silver Fox, Snow Cat, Chionophilia, all of which also feature almond and fabric notes - see their full notes lists and my comparative reviews HERE). Grey Squirrel stays pretty static, not morphing like Black Squirrel, and the apricot is only barely present.
Red Squirrel [A playful blend of almond and spiced apricot, grounded in rich benzoin and copaiba balsam, warmed with red musk, red sandalwood, and smoldering amber] - This one is pretty heavy on the red musk, and was in fact partly responsible for me finally figuring out that I don't personally enjoy red musk. The almond, apricot, and sandalwood combination does give this a rather gourmand-adjacent feel to it, more so than the other Squirrels. It's a very rich and warm perfume. It's funny how actually "red" this scent feels - it feels like the experience of watching a bonfire die down, even though there's no smoke note at all. "Smoldering" indeed.
White Squirrel [A playful blend of almond and spiced apricot, grounded in rich benzoin and copaiba balsam, cooled with aloe, white musk, and smooth white amber] - Even without looking at the notes, it was easy to identify the white amber in this one, even though Nui Cobalt only infrequently uses white amber as a note. White Squirrel is very like Grey Squirrel, equally cozy but lighter and airier, with that white amber instead of cashmere. White Squirrel is cooler, more standoffish than Grey Squirrel - that "cool" effect must be the aloe - more a wintertime snuggly scent rather than an autumnal cozy scent. Even the now-familiar almond + apricot base feels daintier and even less foody here in White Squirrel.
Overall--

• Grey Squirrel and White Squirrel are the snuggly ones. Wear Grey Squirrel for cozy blanket vibes, and White Squirrel to be even daintier.
• Wear Red Squirrel for sexy outdoorsy gourmandy vibes (is that a thing? I think Red Squirrel makes it a thing)
• Black Squirrel is the dark academia sibling, and Flying Squirrel is the playful cousin

All the other Critters

Akhal-Teke [Fine ecru suede, raw silk, pearl musk, white amber, precious Hawaiian sandalwood, and creamy pistachio] - As someone put it, "super shiny horse". Silky yet fuzzy and soft, sophisticated yet snuggly. I recognize that pearl musk + sandalwood combination from Cancer [Cotton flower, steamed rice, soft sandalwood, vanilla orchid, coconut milk, and pearl musk] and I love it here too. All of these notes, suede + silk + pearl musk + white amber + sandalwood together, are gentle and just the epitome of softness, yet with just enough body and presence to be soft-on-purpose, assertively soft if that makes sense. This is not a wallflower scent. On to more specifics about the literal smell. At first, the nutty pistachio is pretty present, but it melds beautifully with the gentle suede. The silk and white amber give an elegance. I also definitely get the pearl musk and sandalwood, which take more prominence in the drydown when the pistachio dissipates a bit. This is my favorite stage - just soft, gentle, creamy, and absolutely lovely. Akhal-Teke has low throw but high longevity. I should note that after a year of aging, the pistachio amped quite a lot, overpowering that gorgeous pearl musk/sandalwood base that I loved so much. I'm hoping someday Forest might make one that's basically just pearl musk and sandalwood, without any gourmand elements!
Black-Capped Chickadee [Dogwood saplings, cedar resin, the tang of young stone fruits: still tiny and green, sugar maple, pine nuts, and barely-thawed soil] - I'm not one for dirt notes, so I completely passed this one up for several years, but enough really glowing reviews finally convinced me to try it. In the vial, it smells of wood, honeyed fruits, and hay. On my skin, it's soil, slightly nutty and incensey, with plush fruit and some very cedar-forward wood notes - and yet it's surprisingly dainty, and a perfect encapsulation of a black-capped chickadee. There's something about this scent that reminds me of snow-covered pebbles, and also of Shakespeare's poem "The cloud-capp'd towers" from The Tempest. After much sniffing and pondering, I finally figured out why I made that snowy association - the fruits read to me like cranberry, making this feel like a wintery scent. As for "The cloud-capp'd towers," I think I'm getting that Shakespearean reference from the combination of daintiness and dirt.
Blossom Bat [Humid rainforest blossoms laden with nectar, dense moss, passionfruit, black fig, and bamboo] - This was an order freebie that I wouldn't have picked out for myself, but it's so fun, and it went straight into my "Aloe and dewy" section of my summer perfumes, next to Waimea Mist and Aloha from the Big Island summer collection. Blossom Bat is velvety flower petals against a lush background of aquatic notes. I don't often enjoy moss notes (they often turn into honeydew melon on my skin), but here the moss contributes to the especially verdant feeling.
Blue Jay [Sturdy blue spruce and young oak support the bold elegance of white peony, angelica, blackberry bramble, and rhubarb] - In the vial, it's extremely fruity with a hint of trees. On my skin, it matches the description much more closely: evergreens and forest floor, brightened by fruity sweetness and a hint of floral. If you loved None of Your Beeswax [Thorny brambles of blackberry, elderflower, violet, fennel seed, sacred benzoin, and unfiltered honey] from the Bees collection, do give this one a try - Blue Jay is like None of Your Beeswax's summer cousin. I once wore this to a community theater production of Into the Woods and it was perfect.
Copper Fox [Warm chai with steamed almond milk nestled in sumptuous cashmere, crimson musk, sarsaparilla, and budding birch] - I once went on a quest to find the perfect chai perfume, and of course I had to try Copper Fox! Immediately on application, Copper Fox is root beer, spicy root beer - there's that sarsaparilla in a big way. As it quickly dries, the overwhelmingly root beer-ness of it backs off somewhat, and it becomes much more chai spices + the woody birch (and still with an undercurrent of root beer). Chai latte this is not - it's all the spices of chai (cinnamon and black pepper especially, and probably a bit of ginger as well) without any sweetness or milky creaminess. I should note that at this point my skin has a slight reaction to this perfume; this perfume ended up being part of my discovery that like many others, I too have a slight skin reaction to cinnamon. It didn't hurt a bit and the redness went away fairly quickly, but be forewarned, if you're a person that has a reaction to cinnamon, this might be a blend worth steering away from, or at least planning to wear in a scent locket or in your hair instead of on your skin. Finally, several hours later, Copper Fox has a third stage, and to me the most lovely: chai spices backed by gentle almond and cozy cashmere (and at this stage it's clearly a "Fox" like Silver Fox).
Elf Owl [A bright concoction of liatrix, yellow sandalwood, beach-tumbled teak, solar musk, crushed coriander, and a scant pinch of pale cinnamon] - With the teak and cinnamon, and of course the obvious cue of the "solar musk", I was expecting this to be in the same family as Nui Cobalt's Sun, Heliophilia (Love of Sun), and Sunrise on Spidersilk (comparative review HERE!). Those sun-themed perfumes can be a bit too sharp and masculine on me (I tend to prefer snuggly scents or white florals), but as a great lover of owls (and a huge fan of Nui Cobalt's Snowy Owl [Dried coconut flakes, pale woods, frozen tuberose, vanilla orchid, and fluffy feather musk], with which it admittedly shares not a single note), I absolutely could not pass up Elf Owl. I'm so glad I didn't. This actually isn't in the sun-themed family, nor, of course, does it match the highly white-floral Snowy Owl. Instead, Elf Owl turns out to be much closer to Squash Blossom [Cocobolo wood, orris root, carrot seed, sunflower petals, mandarin zest, and acorn squash baked with brown sugar] from the Autumn 1 collection, though much less vegetal. It's a very well-blended perfume and nothing in particular stands out. The overall effect is gentle: gently floral and slightly vegetal, with vanilla and baking spices but without any sugary sweetness. (Liatrix, for anyone who doesn't know what that note is--I had to look it up myself!--is a "sweet, coumarinic, herbal, tobacco-like floral and offers a pleasant vanilla-like scent".)
Fennec Fox [Blush sandalwood, amber resin, antique Egyptian cotton touched with saffron, spiced peach preserves, and sweet cedar resin] - It's gentle, warm, and spiced, with that snuggly feeling that you get with anything that has NCD's cotton note. If you really look, you can distinguish the wood, saffron, and peach, but they meld together extremely well. Surprisingly, I actually get quite a lot of the same sand note as in Flying South [Pink lemonade, warm sand, tiare blossoms, and a flowy cotton sundress] even though sand is not listed. I wear Fennec Fox in autumn on days when I don't feel like a pumpkin.
Glasswing Butterfly [A diaphanous veil of coconut water, elderflower, moonlit gardenia, silver musk, green lavender, and a slender twist of lime] - Nelophilia (Love of Glass) [Elderflower, silver musk, coconut water, cardamom, silk tree, lime blossom, and smooth hinoki wood] is one of my favorites from the Valentine's collection, but it's been discontinued for some time. So I was delighted to see this one because its notes read like a combination of Nelophilia and Queen Bee [Creamy white gardenia and fluffy whipped honey], both among my favorite NCD perfumes. It's not quite - it's not the same almost-spicy gardenia as in Queen Bee - but it is absolutely divine. Glasswing Butterfly is basically Nelophilia with all its smooth, cool, rainy, white floral nature, but here the cardamom is more present (YES! I love cardamom), and with a bit more floral. After a year of aging, it became quite a LOT more white floral; the heady gardenia came out with a KICK, and it's nearly but not quite indolic.
Honey Badger [Black amber, raw honey, smoked maple wood, and cardamom-infused cream] - I mean, duh, I had to try this one just for the cardamom cream. This is somehow so recognizably a NCD scent. Honey straight from the comb, dripping and golden, rich and sweet, backed by maple wood (but not really maple syrup) and a whiff of cardamom spice. Not nearly enough cardamom for my taste - but then, we all know what I'm like! I'm so glad I tried this one. Since its notes list starts with "black amber," I expected this to be quite a dark scent, but while it's quite rich, it's not ominously dark. Husband really likes this one, which is always a special success.
Hummingbird [Darting from oleander to orange blossom with ripe nectarine, hibiscus tea, and traces of tuberose] - White florals with orange and nectarine fruit notes, chirpy and cheerful. It's a juicy but not sugary scent. I love it for warm spring days - it's an absolute staple of my springtime perfumes - though I find it a little cloying in very hot weather.
Opossum [A bold nocturnal potion of Hatian amyris, soft black suede, red patchouli, freshly-turned earth, copal resin, and Peru balsam] - I get suede, red musk, and brown patchouli; meanwhile Husband, sniffing my wrist, gets pine and petrichor. Yet the combination of all these things is surprisingly gentle, not a shouty, in-your-face kind of scent. Absolutely none of the notes we're picking up on are my thing, but just about all of them very much are Husband's thing, so guess what - he immediately snaffled this one.
Orchid Mantis [Ripe Philippine mango, dragon fruit, tamarind, Indonesian teak, clove bud, sandalwood, tuberose, and a touch of ylang] - This one is bit too sweet for me on application - at first it's all sugary mango - but as it warms on my skin, the other notes creep in: more fruit (but less sugar), a bit of sharp clove for balance, and hints of woodiness and florals. As it dries, those hints of clove and woodiness amp further (and at this point, all my husband smells is cinnamony clove). For some reason, this is one of the very strongest of my NCD scents, with high longevity and even higher throw.
Raccoon [Sepia cashmere, guaiac wood, Egyptian amber, Copaiba balsam, golden musk, a twinkle of coriander, blonde oudh, resinous Himalayan cedar, and myrrh] - It's so well-blended that I can't pick out a single note individually, but something about this feels so quintessentially NCD. Right on application, it makes me think of Cheat Code [Windswept teakwood, cedar, coriander and tea are grounded in black tonka with a hint of fine leather], another one I had trouble describing, and it has a similar level of elegance and polish. Meanwhile, Husband smelled a bit of cola or sarsparilla, and noted an almost chocolatey undertone. As it dries, the cashmere and musk come forward, quite woolly and plush and just a touch animalistic. It seems a similar cashmere musk as in Arctic Fox [Soft amber nestled in sumptuous cashmere, steamed rice milk, winter white musk, and snow-covered fir trees]. If Arctic Fox worked for you, you absolutely must try Raccoon. Since Arctic Fox doesn't work on me (my skin amps that cashmere to unpleasant levels), Raccoon ultimately won't win a place in my collection either - which is a bummer because that opening is so pretty. I'll have to stick with Cheat Code for my polished, sophisticated vibes.
Robin's Egg [Dainty forget-me-nots and lily of the valley, a dollop of whipped blueberry creme, and a cozy birch nest tucked into a flowering dogwood tree] - This one has the same amazing blueberry as Grey Cat [Dry smoked vanilla, fluffy marshmallow creme, fresh blueberries, the gentlest touch of lavender and a warm cup of Earl Grey], House of Transcendence [Top notes of wild blueberry and morning fog, a heart of pale lilac and cashmere, with a base of orris and white amber], and Choreophilia [Wild violets, warm Earl Grey, Dominican blue amber, orris root, a handful of blueberries, and a touch of lime marmalade]. This iteration of the blueberry note is juicy and floral. After a few years of aging, Robin's Egg has become even more gorgeous and creamy, with that stunning blueberry and a vision of dainty blue flowers. This one is discontinued and I'm really sad about that (but you could maybe find some in the swaps if you ask around).
Silver Fox [White tea with honey and rice milk, almond macaron, soft grey cashmere and cool woodland musk] (this perfume is so popular that it is also in the Continuous Collection and available all year 'round) - Stunning. Sophisticated yet snuggly. The cashmere is the most prominent, followed by fir, the sweetness of white amber, and NCD's gentle whipped honey note. I also wouldn't have been surprised to read that copal was a note - there's just that little bit of resinous almost-smoke. When it dries, the sweetness goes away and the fir comes forward. This was a freebie with one of my orders - I hadn't actually bought a sample of this for myself, worried that I wouldn't like the rice milk (which, as it turns out, I don't actually smell), but it has since become one of my favorite wintertime scents.
Sugar Glider [Raw cotton, sugar cane, flannel flower, macadamia nut, pearblossom, palest musk, and dandelion puff] - So here's the thing, I'm wary of gourmands (in fact I always sit out most of the April Fool's gourmand collection). Sugar is listed in the notes description in the very second place, but I am a sucker for cute woodland animals, so that's how I ended up with this sample. After a first sniff in the vial, I got a little nervous about it, because it smelled very sugary, but I figured I'd wear it once, review it for you all, and then in a worst-case scenario, destash it to someone who does love sugary dessert scents. But wait! There's something strangely intoxicating about this one, and it's not really a gourmand. Immediately when I put it on, it reminded me a bit of the Sweettart-ness of my beloved Somniphilia (Love of Sleep) [Lamb's wool accord, orange blossom, barely-budding lavender, melissa, green fig, clary, cloud musk, and weightless vanilla marshmallow meringue]. I was pleasantly surprised that Sugar Glider is not at all dessert, instead more sugar + wood, and really rather cuddly. And then when it dries down, it reminds me so strongly of the blue raspberry note in Dewdrops on Spidersilk [Cerulean strands of cotton flower bejeweled with dewdrops, cold crystalline musk, tiny black vanilla beans, frozen blue raspberry, and gentle incense], except it's not "blue" (nor is it raspberry, but neither is "blue raspberry"). How did they achieve this effect? I have no idea, but it's so addictive: such a delicate, cheerful, springtime scent. It really does remind me of the experience of picking a perfect white fluffy dandelion and making a wish as you blow it. Definitely a springtime favorite.
White-Tailed Deer [Soft brown suede, golden musk, wild forest berries, and roasted chestnuts dusted with maple sugar] - I am always hesitant about suede, but was very happy when this was included as a free sample because I'd heard lovely things about it but wouldn't have purchased it for myself. It's an interesting one because my experience is of it is very different depending on distance. When I'm just smelling it as it wafts around me, it's such a warm, cozy scent, the suede mingling with chestnut and brown sugar. When I bring my wrist directly up to my nose to sniff, the suede does get a bit overwhelmingly leathery, and overtakes the other notes. Once it dries, though, that unpleasantly smoky leatheriness dissipates (even right up under my nose), leaving only the highly autumnal coziness behind. It is indeed very "golden" - or maybe a really rich, warm brown. I don't get any berries at all. It reminds me of the very stylized acorns and hedgehogs that fellow autumn-lovers love to idolize. (And for some reason, Husband gets saffron!)

Personally...

Robin's Egg, Sugar Glider, and Elf Owl are some of my TOP favorite perfumes for spring; Fennec Fox for fall; and Silver Fox for winter. Black Squirrel is my favorite of the Squirrels (in fact I ended up destashing all the others since I continue to have some issues with NCD's apricot note) - it's so beautifully dark-academia. And in my opinion, the three Rabbits are absolute must-tries (and I hold so much hope for a new Rabbit this year!). If you try nothing else from this collection, try whichever of the three Rabbits most calls your name - they're all different but all absolutely stunning.
What are you hoping for this year? Any particular animals you're keeping fingers crossed for? Do we think it'll be mostly woodland creatures this year, or perhaps we'll get some oceanic or other Critters too?

This set has a lot of cards so we are gonna be double up more often.

Name	Prairie Dog
Rarity	U
Cost	1W
Type	Creature — Squirrel
Text	Lifelink
	At the beginning of your end step, if you haven’t cast a spell from your hand this turn, put a +1/+1 counter on Prairie Dog.
	{4}{W}: Until end of turn, if you would put one or more +1/+1 counters on a creature you control, put that many plus one +1/+1 counters on it instead.
P/T	2/2

 

• Have you found yourself going hard at the WU Draw -(Plot)-Go style of deck to grow this and cast spells on your opponents turn, or do you view this as just a solid two mana 2/2 with solid upside that comes up?
• How often have you activated the ability of this little guy?

 

Name	Journey to Nowhere
Rarity	U
Cost	1W
Type	Enchantment
Text	When Journey to Nowhere enters the battlefield, exile target creature.
	When Journey to Nowhere leaves the battlefield, return the exiled card to the battlefield under its owner’s control.

 

• How has enchantment-based removal performed for you overall?
• Do you think this was a good addition to the set via the Breaking News bonus sheet or no?
• While it may rarely come up one thing to note is that this is an old Magic card with old templating, and so if you only have one creature in play and can sac it in response your opponent will have to exile one of their creatures with Journey - no “may”, “up to”, or “opponent controls” clauses here.