56 years ago today, a group that would be known as The Catonsville Nine would break into a draft board office and proceed to take 378 draft files and proceed to burn them. The Berrigan Brothers, Philip and Daniel, were put on the radar of America, the world, and the government.
Daniel's spirit led words of "apologies, good friends, for the fracture of good order, the burning of paper instead of children.… our hearts give us no rest for thinking of the Land of Burning Children" gave me pause the first time I heard them as fracturing good order is what following Christ, God, the Universe is all about. Yes, you can keep to yourself and not make a difference, but where's the life in that? A life well lived comes with its own bumps and bruises, who doesn't like a good scar story?
What will you do to turn the tide? What will you do to dismantle systems of oppression? What will you do to make a difference?
As Mother Teresa put it, "not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love."
Hang in there my beloveds and go fracture good order!
https://youtu.be/d3NM3xaNuLk?si=rvW77EPBlrOvY5E6

Thank you for this universe!
And many thanks to for being a full co-writer on this project!
Kaeden and Vichee belongs to and I thank them so much for working with us! It was an honor!
Sven belongs to Bjorn the Copper Paladin from Discord. I hope to do more with them in the future, and have tons of fun!
And don’t you worry about that final in the title! We have some news at the end!
[First]- [Prev]- {Next Story!!}

{Is the reason that everything happened to Tarlim in the first place?}

{Only up to the ramps, mostly. Trying to impress upon people the importance of accessibility for those with extenuating circumstances. At least according to the records I have access to.}

{The average person knows as much about his friends as they do about Mike Collins.}
<...Who?>
{Exactly. 20th century human spaceman, was there for their first lunar landing. Didn’t get to put boots on the ground, and nobody remembers his name now.}

{Hell, I didn’t even know about him until I put in a search query of niche historical figures just to give you an example. Yeesh…}

(Program Selected.)
(Resume Selected Media? [Y])
(Playing…)
Archived Closed Circuit Security Video - Establishment: Exterminator’s Office - Dawn Creek Division - Subbasement - Date Recorded (ST): OCT 31, 2136 - Timeframe (ST): 11:42 - 11:45
The parking bay is silent. Vans are parked neatly in their spots which frame the hallway to the armory and fuel storage for the camera. A ding is heard and something moves in the hallway. Five fully suited Venlil and a Zurulian step out of an elevator and run towards a van. The sound of a door slamming open comes from the hall roughly 6 seconds later. A stream of Exterminators pour out into the hall from the stairwell.
Their voices are indecipherable as they speak over each other. A Sulian runs into the armory and reappears with a huge flamer tank on their back. Another Zurulian can be seen with an extinguisher tank, but a Venlil bleats at them and tosses it aside. They drag the quadrupedal alien quickly into the parking garage before physically throwing them into the back of a van.
From the back of the hallway, a fluid can be seen spreading across the ground. A trio of Venlil back out of a room while holding their flamers up. They are unlit, instead spewing fuel out of their nozzles. The trio twirl around in an overly animated manner as they walk down the hall to the parking garage. A van pulls out of its spot with windows down so the passengers could let out a cheer.
A black-suited Venlil runs up to the spraying trio while waving their arms to get them out into the garage. The microphone just barely manages to catch him saying, “We need to save some for the predators!” One of the other Venlil replies, “Yes sir, Mafchi!” A short flurry of curses is heard as the gathered exterminators pile into the three other visible vans. Two of the vans speed out of the garage, forcing some other Venlil exterminators to dive out of the way in the process.
The black-suited Mafchi picks up a fuel canister that had been dropped and twists off its cap. He slings it under his shoulder and pours a line of fuel. He marches straight to the final van and hops up into the open rear. The van backs itself up to turn out of the garage. The fuel canister clatters to the ground as it pulls away. Before it clears the view of the camera, the Black-suited Venlil is seen standing in its open back. He is holding what appears to be a flare gun.
The flare sails through the air shortly after the van leaves the frame and impacts the ground. It bounces and rolls until it touches the fuel and ignites it in an instant. A small wall of fire proceeds down the provided trail into the hallway, igniting more fuel as time passes. The hallway is quickly engulfed in vividly red fire. Thick black smoke begins to pour out into the garage as the fire inches closer to the primary fuel tank.
Movement can be seen in the hallway between the flickering flames. The silver form of a Venlil Exterminator is seen rushing out of the stairwell and fighting to head towards the fuel storage room. Before they reach, a white flash fills the screen. The feed goes dead, the error code consistent with electrical interruption.
(Specified Media Concluded.)

{Who was what? Mafchi?}

{Hmmm, there aren’t any tags embedded for them. The suits do a rather good job at making the officers anonymous. Let me see…oh.}

{The, uh… the employment records for that Office were…terminated.}

{It looks like…yes, here. Record wipe in 2497. Media with less than 1 bistandannual visit were removed to save space on the university’s central server. It’s…they’re gone, gone gone.}

{Maybe, but that’ll do us no good if we don’t know their name. And because of the chaos of that incident, nobody has been able to accurately reconstruct where every individual was in that office. We’d have to already know who they were to find them.}
<...I guess that’s another person I’ll have to remember then, huh?>
{...Guess so. Speaking of remembering, perhaps you should check out Tarlim’s view again? Seeing how we were just talking about him.}
<...Sure. At least people remember his name, right?>
(Command: [exitprogram])
(Are you sure? [Y])
…
{-Program Selected-}
{-Restart From Last Playback Point? Y/(N)-}
{-[USERID-11229KMD]: procViewHist -}
{-Retrieving Transcription Viewing History…-}
{-List Retrieved - Select Desired Subject: (Tarlim)-}
{-Restart From Last Playback Point? (Y)/N-}
{-Playing…-}
Memory Transcription Subject: Tarlim, the Venbig. Date [Standardized Human Time] October 31st, 2136
No matter how much Sven and Anso griped about it, having them leave and return with the trailer was a great idea. The humans who had gone with them the first time were, to my dismay, excited to try and ride in the back. I had at least been able to impress on those four that I couldn’t let anyone else ride like that, and that they were to help with rigging a trailer with some seats.
I had to admit; they did a good job!
Several couches sat bolted to the floor of the covered trailer and even had some ropes that could be hooked across the armrests as impromptu belts. It wasn’t perfect by any means, but it would work as well as any bus or short train ride! Certainly superior to jumping in the bed of a truck.
I strode out into the parking road and swayed my ears to greet Anso. Sven had stayed behind here to meet with the humans and entertain the kids, a job which he was slightly less unenthusiastic about compared to last time. “Greetings, Anso! Have you made the necessary preparations for the humans to leave with you?”
The Yotul hopped out of the truck bed and bounced to me. “We have! I have to say those humans were great workers to have helped get this whipped up so quickly! I hope Sven has been behaving himself?”
I let my tail wag behind me remembering my last glimpse of him. He should really secure his sheath straps! “He has! Been entertaining the refugees while I made sure they all had their belongings ready to go. Come on inside, let’s go gather them.”
I guided him with a wave of my arm as we turned back to the door. To be truthful, I hadn’t expected Sven to win the humans over as quickly as he did. Needless to say, his primitive attire seemed to spark joy within them, a joy sorely needed amidst the sadness of recency.
As we entered the building I noticed something, or rather, the lack of something. When I had exited only a few [minutes] prior, the building had been full of life and noise. Now, it was almost dead quiet, save for the sounds of a holovision coming from the lobby. Rather heated sounds, at that.
“I didn’t think it was already main rest claw,” Anso mused as he, too, recognized the aggravated voices coming from the lobby. “And what are they watching in there? Sounds…angry.”
“Yeah…” I trailed off as I followed the noises. As I approached the lobby, the sound of what I assumed was a Gojid yelling. “You know nothing about my family. TALK, JUST FUCKING TALK, NOW!” My ears pinned back at the foul language at play, hoping that Sven and the children were somewhere else.
As I entered the room, I saw that I was only half right. The children were thankfully nowhere to be found, but Sven was obviously present, as was most of the facility staff. I was about to ask what was going on before another voice drew my attention to the holovision, the same as everyone else. The voice of none other than Chief Nikonus.
“There were three of us who laid out the groundwork for the Federation. When Kolshian explorers came in contact with the Farsul, more than a thousand years ago, the galaxy was young. We were the first in this sector to escape our gravity well. You know about the founding of this institution, but I reiterate it just in case.”
“The Krakotl were the third,” another voice piped up from behind the camera. I thought it might’ve been another Gojid, but the voice was far too breathy. Harchen, maybe? I wasn’t given a chance to consider it further as Nikonus continued. “Yes, they were a problem from the start; aggressive, disagreeable. We tried to identify the problem, and why they were so ill-equipped for spacefaring.”
“We learned they were scavengers, who would occasionally go for fish as well.”
His next line was rendered inaudible by the shocked gasps of both the refugees and residents in the room. I was no different, drawing in a sharp breath at the abrupt admission. I remembered that Arvi had said some aliens were revealed to have eaten meat in the past, but was this the way it was decided to be revealed? With such abject callousness?
Nikonus continued to speak, looking not just proud, but smug with his words. He went on about how the Federation had saved these aliens with their manipulations, but the entirety of his body language seemed to indicate he reveled in how devastating this information would be to the people he was speaking to. How they manipulated an entire culture, a RELIGION!
What if they did the same to ours?
That horrifying thought struck through my mind like a derailing train. I had relied upon the Tenets in some of my darkest moments. Found comfort in them when there was none elsewhere to be found. To have such a comfort revealed as a lie in its entirety, used only for some other group to control you…
The voice of Nikonus hit my ears again. “Oh Sovlin, I already told you. For the small minority of species who don’t find herbivory alone, we teach them the right way. Doesn’t the religion against predators sound familiar?”
The Kolshian was insufferably proud of those words. There was no doubt in my mind now; this was mocking. Mocking a Gojid for following The Protector. For being a predator. For being different, but expecting to still be treated as a person. The Gojid were predators, they couldn’t help it, and they were already being mocked for it.
What might happen to all the other species?
I shifted my focus away from the screen to the crowd, searching for one in particular. Vichee, a Krakotl already so different from everyone else, and now my concerns for them were multiplied with every word that fell from Nikonus’ mouth. Were they okay? They had come in here to see Sven, I had seen them. Where are-
I spotted Kaeden in the corner of the room. Next to him, slumped against the wall, was Vichee. The dual colored Krakotl’s eyes were glazed over as they stared at nothing. I strode over quickly, my instincts wanting to comfort them. Kaeden was simply standing there, it was confusing that he didn’t seem to be comforting Vichee at all. As I got closer, their head tilted up to me, regarding me with an unfocused eye.
“He was right.” They said quietly. My implant almost didn’t pick it up over the sounds of the lobby. “Kaeden had asked me soon after our first meeting if Krakotl had once been meat eaters. Said it was the shape of our beaks. ‘More suited to capturing small wriggling prey than filtering algae’. He told me. I nearly flew away right then… If I had, I would have been alone with this news.”I listened, kneeling down to be closer to their level. “You’re not alone, your herd is here. Right Kaeden?”
He looked over at me and nodded. “Vichee was there with me when Earth was attacked. I’m here for them now. Kaabra and Venik are… together, elsewhere at the moment. But they will be here too.”
I flicked my ears in understanding. “Then I hope they may help in hugging Vichee until their tears are dry.” I turned an eye to Vichee. “Please, I just want you to know that you are still you. What your body does has no effect on your personhood.”
Vichee still sat, their mind still likely whirling with the new information. They lifted their differently colored wings. “I’m well aware. This lesson I already learned. But thank you, I understand what you mean.” Kaeden nodded slowly and Vichee returned to their thoughts.
“There’s going to be trouble soon, Tarlim,” Kaeden stated gravely. “News like this? Nothing good will come of it. I can already tell this won’t go over well. Keep your eyes open.”
As if in response to his words, the sound of clanking metal hits my ears. They shoot up, pivoting to locate its source. There, dashing towards the door, was the armored figure of Sven. I didn’t know him enough to know how this broadcast would affect him, but running was never the best sign. I flicked my ears goodbye to my friends and rose, following after the metal man. In my periphery, I saw the television screen had shifted to show Rolem moving onto the stage. I would have to miss whatever it was he had to say, so ducked through the doors and continued to follow the sound of metal.
As I exited, I saw that I wasn’t the only one to see Sven’s actions. Anso was bounding behind him, shouting something I couldn’t hear. Sven didn’t seem to either as he kept running, but his gait wasn’t one of fear. He looked purposeful, sprinting in a straight line. A line pointed right towards-
Towards the observing Exterminator Van.
The metal Venlil didn’t even hesitate at the presence of the fence. He leapt up in a display of strength and agility, vaulting over the barrier and continuing his beeline into the van. It was like phased through the doors with how fast he moved. There were sounds of commotion that followed his entry, and soon two Exterminators fell out of the van. One Venlil…and one Krakotl. I wonder how Kalek is taking things.
I, too, cleared the fence with only a high step and reached the van, peering in to see Sven at the controls. “Sven! What are you doing?” I asked, the Krakotl officer shivering on the ground in my periphery.
“They got my girl!” He huffed, “She’s a Gojid, they got her, I can’t let them do anything worse to her!” He tried to activate the vehicle to no avail, but his words brought up something that I hadn’t thought much over. I remember hearing about temporary emplacements that were being set up. Paly had texted me about exterminators bringing people there. Her too. And that would mean-
-THOOOOOOOMMMMM-
The wind hit me like a truck and rocked the van I was standing next to. Sven even stopped trying to fiddle with the controls to see what had just happened. In the distance, near the center of town, an enormous black cloud rose into the air, the vestiges of fire still burning in the suspended embers. I couldn’t look away from it as my mind raced with horrible possibilities as my mind tripped over itself trying to concoct a plan of action.
I wasn’t given long to think before the radio in the van crackled to life, startling both Sven and myself. “Attention all True Exterminators! The truth has come out about the taint in our midst! For too long we have lived with its danger in our presence! If any of you still hold the safety of The Herd in your hearts, come join us so we may burn ALL the predator taint from this District! Rendezvous at Vulen’s apartment complex, we shall start our cleansing there!”
The name of one of my landlords sparked familiarity in my mind. They had been working to build a series of new apartments to add to his old, and if I remembered, had agreed to house the Gojid refugees. The Gojid! Paly was housed with them!!
In an instant, I reached into the van and grabbed Sven by the arm. He tried to pull away, but my grip was too strong. “Sven! They’re gonna kill the Gojid! They’re gonna burn Paly!”
He finally managed to shake himself free as my paws became jittery from stress. “I gotta save my girlfriend! She’s in a facility! I gotta save her!”
“But they’re gonna burn people here!” I protested, “we have to do something! We need- We need People who can fight them! Kaeden! I need to get Kaeden! We can save them!”
I pulled myself away from the van and spotted Anso nearby. He must have had to go through the gate, but this was good timing. I pointed a claw at him. “Do Not Let Him drive off before I get back!”
I didn’t give him, nor the Exterminators who had recovered from their shock, time to ask questions. Paly was in danger, as were who knew how many others. I faintly heard my data pad chime from within my shoulder bag, the signal my heart was beating too fast, but I couldn’t deal with it right now. I could get the heart rate under control during the drive. Right now I needed Kaeden, he knew how to fight! How to save people when others were trying to kill them!
My paws guided me and I was back in the cafeteria before I knew it. Some of the crowd had dissipated, but Kaeden and Vichee were still in the same corner I had left them in, but with their Venlil friends now joined. Without leaving time for protest, I grabbed Kaeden’s arm and pulled him away. I heard Vichee squawk behind me, but I was in too much of a hurry. I can’t let her get hurt. I Won’t.
Kaeden started to slap my arm as I dragged the soldier across the lobby. “Tarlim! What the fuck are you doing?? What’s going on?”
“No time, they’re going to burn everyone,” I breathlessly said as I burst the facility doors open to get him to the van.
“What? Who?” Kaeden questioned, still resisting my pull. I could hear a tinge of worry in his voice, and I knew he would understand. Anso looked back from his position as he heard my approach, and upon seeing me dragging Kaeden along, he grew visibly concerned.
“On the radio, something about True Exterminators,” I attempted to explain to him as we neared the gate doors. This time, I simply spread them apart with my free paw, metal screeching against itself as the gate was forced open. “They’re going to burn every cured species they can find, and That Means Paly. I Won’t Let Them.”
Kaeden had stopped struggling as I explained the bare essentials to him, and once we approached the van, he finally had enough sense to ask the right questions. “So what exactly is the plan to stop them? We’re strong, sure, I could probably take most of them. But just two of us against a wall of those flamers?”
“Not two,” I corrected, letting go of his arm and throwing open the back doors of the van. Still seated in the drivers side was Sven, who looked back once he heard me permit entrance into the back. “We have him too.”
“Wh- the LARPer??” Kaeden asked incredulously. I wasn’t familiar with the term he used, but his tone told us all we needed to know. Sven’s eyes narrowed at the perceived insult, but Kaeden continued. “Do either of you have any formal military training?? Rushing down there is only going to get you both killed along with the others! For fucks sake, slow down! We need a plan!”
“T-There won’t be t-time f-for one,” a voice peeped in from behind us. We all turned to face the source, and we found it was the Venlil Exterminator. They recoiled under the sudden gaze of our entire party, but they managed to continue. “I-I recognized the v-voice. It w-was one of the n-new recruits. They m-might as well be Y-Yulpa. If you w-want to stop them, it’s now or n-never.”
We all stared at them for a moment in disbelief that they’d willingly hand over that information to us. They were Exterminators, weren’t they? They should be allied with the voice on the radio! Kaeden, after considering the information, gave voice to my confusion. “And why are you telling us this? You’re an exterminator, shouldn’t you be trying to help them?”
“M-My husband is the Krakotl that was in the van with me!” They yelled back, stamping their footpaw on the ground in agitation. “I-I don’t care what his ancestors did a t-thousand years ago, I will not stand for those zealots burning who knows how many people! We’re not all the same, h-human!”
I was taken aback by their words. I had given up hope that there were any redeemable souls amongst the ranks of those silver-suited brahkasses, but living proof of the contrary stood before us. Their breathing was only matched by mine as my pad continued to chime in my pack. Maybe there’s hope after all.
Kaeden started frantically looking all around, his focused gaze falling on the facility, the exterminator in front of us, and the rising smoke in the distance. After a moment's hesitation, he growled to himself and shook his head. “Fine! Fucking- if you want to prove you’re different, you and your partner stand guard at the gate! They’ll probably try to send a division here, so keep on guard! And for the love of God, go ask for help if that happens!”
My tail wagged behind me as I interpreted what that meant. “So you’ll help us, Kaeden?”
He paused for a second, an agonizing second as he fully took in the situation in his mind. But ultimately, he nodded. “Let’s go, we can figure things out along the way.”
Seizing the moment, Anso quickly jumped into the van and pushed Sven out of the driver's seat, much to their visible frustration. Kaeden quickly hopped into the passenger seat, leaving me with the problem of finding a space that would fit me. I stepped over to the back of the van and threw the doors open.
The flamers and their fuel tanks were useless to us, easy to toss all three sets out onto the ground behind me. I made sure that the flamers were disabled first, of course. Just had to snap the pilot lighters and slice a hose with my claw. Even if these two said they weren’t like these “True Exterminators” I didn’t trust them one bit. I crawled inside the cramped vehicle and wiggled myself to close the doors behind me.
As I got myself settled, I watched as the Venlil Exterminator started to inspect the destroyed remains of their weapons. I squinted a glare at them and positioned myself so they couldn’t enter with me. “You two aren’t coming,” I hissed. “You know why you’re not. Try anything with the humans, and they will stop you.”
I slammed the doors shut as their expressions fell, just in time for Anso to get the van into gear. I curled myself up against the wall of the van, watching out the back window as we sped down the road. We were on our way now. On our way to save Paly and all the people gathered because their ancestors ate meat. My heart hammered in my chest, but I would need to control it for what we were about to do. I needed to focus. I needed to breathe. I needed to be calm.
Focus. Breathe. Calm
Focus.
Breathe.
Calm…
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Memory Transcription Subject: Sol-Vah, Fleeing Predator. Date [Standardized Human Time] October 31st, 2136
My legs couldn’t carry me anymore. I had to keep going, but I didn’t have the strength. My pants became wheezes as my body struggled to keep up with the physical exertion of running almost halfway through town. I hadn’t even looked up before now, at least with eyes not blinded by tears. The pain of Mute’s rejection still stung in my soul, a pain so visceral it threatened to rip me apart worse than any Arxur. Protector, what did I do to deserve this? Is there even a Protector, or did the Federation just- just make that up?
I didn’t have time to think about that now, I needed to get to the office. From what little I caught of the broadcast, Nikonus had said they saved us before. I knew what it likely was, but…I was desperate. I just wanted to go back home and have him embrace me like he did before. The safety and love I had felt from him was still fresh in my mind, and if there was any chance I had to get it back?
I’ll happily take it.
As I approached the office, however, something seemed off. I could smell soot in the air, but not the kind of soot that came from our flamers. This was- was…dirtier smelling, as if the fuel had been impure. Upon looking up, however, I saw something that made my stomach drop. A huge plume of smoke, billowing up into the sky. It shadowed the sun itself with its immensity and hate. Did the Exterminators burn more drugs? Or…or…
I felt a renewed vigor as I started to run towards the plume, hoping against hope that I was wrong. As soon as I turned the corner, though, my worst fears were realized. Where the office once stood now sat a burning stack of glorified rubble, every single window in sight shattered and multiple holes in the outer walls. The building was split, it was as if a giant knife had come down and sloppily sliced off its front half to spill flaming debris everywhere.
I stood in front of the building I had once called my home, surrounded by screams and the awful sound of flames roaring. I knew now there was no hope of salvation, no way this could ever be undone. I would never be able to go back to the way things were, never feel the happiness I had for that brief time. I was doomed to this life, abandoned by my love, and forced to live as an abomination devoid of a home.
I suppose that’s all a predator like me deserves.
[First]- [Prev]- {Next Story!!}
You read it right: This is going to be the final chapter of "Of Giants and Journalists." With the conclusion of Sharnet and Vekna's adventure, we will now take the time to show how this announcement has affected our characters and the galaxy at large. We're excited to announce our new series, Nature of a Giant: Aftermath! This series will not be quite as in-depth temporally as Of Giants and Journalists was, mainly because not as much will be happening in as short of a time. Rest assured, though, there will still be plenty of action across the board! You just won't have to deal with over half the story only covering a week of time!
In that vein, we are also excited to announce we are working on another bonus series, one that was teased a long time ago, Venric Lawven: Legal Legend! It will be filling the gap for content while we work on the first few chapters of Aftermath to make sure the scenes are as quality as they deserve, but will have a reduced upload schedule to once a week to accommodate for writing two series at once. On behalf of both of myself and , we'd like to thank all of our readers for sticking with us on this journey. It's hard to believe this series has been going on for over a year in one form or another, but I wouldn't have it any other way! Thank you all again for your continued support, and we look forward to seeing you again with Legal Legends! And then...
The Aftermath!!

Need to get this off my chest. I'm slowly failing out of grad school and I don't know what to do.
I've been in grad school since 2021, full-time (i.e. not working). I've been "working" on my master's thesis for over a year, full time, with very little to show for it - and the shame I feel is getting to be too much to bear.
Every day for the past year+, I have intended to finally "get to work" - every semester for the past 4 semesters has been "the one" where I'll "finally buckle down" - "I have so much time".
So I eat breakfast, I sit down at my desk and - I can't make myself work. I never know what to do. And I've been stuck now for almost 16 months, doing nothing with my life, all the while telling friends, family I just need "one more semester."
I feel immense amounts of shame about this, constantly. It's destroying me.
For context, my advisor is friendly and responsive, but not proactive. He is very responsive when I reach out, but he doesn't reach out to me (I think that's fair, and I know my academic success is my own responsibility). He's supportive, and I told him I'm dealing with some personal issues.
I have a decent foundation of analysis I did and maybe 40+ research papers annotated. Zero writing outside of my year-old proposal.
I looked into ADHD and got a scrip - but the meds don't seem to make anything click.
I'm immensely grateful that my life conditions are such that the bills get paid - but I've now spent nearly 4 years out of work, and I did mostly odd jobs before that. Coupled with my slow failure on this thesis, I feel a massive pit in my stomach when I think about my life. Other students are putting out theses, graduating, getting jobs, some now having started the program after me - & I'm just stuck.
I am seeing a therapist, but 1 hour a week is barely enough.
If I can't complete the thesis - which will be hard to stomach - I can "downgrade" into smaller research projects and get the credits I need. I want to "prove" to myself that I can do the thesis, that I won't throw in the towel - but maybe that's just sunk-cost fallacy. Maybe I need to just move on.
Anyway - couldn't sleep and needed to get this off my chest. Entering the umpteenth "do-or-die" phase. I'm going to keep trying for the next few weeks and see if I can get this off the ground.
tl;dr taking way too long to complete my master's thesis. feel like a major failure.
Words of encouragement would be much appreciated.

im crazy wasting time looking for your words of love for me. believe me i know they arent coming. your not gonna want me back one day i understand. im just here making myself more sad and talking to people and wasting trolls time. i dont expect you to ever holler at me saying how youve missed me and regret things done. honestly i wouldnt trust it if u did. id prpbably smash if u let me but thats different, we always had great sex. i just want u to know im not really here looking for you. i do lash out at ppl that seem like you but i know theyre not you. im just coping with specific things in an unhealthy way.

This is just a vent I suppose, maybe it's also something that will make learners of Portuguese and Italian feel less bad about struggling with this phoneme as well haha
I was born/raised in Brazil and later moved Portugal, so I'm 100% a native Portuguese speaker. However, as a child I had buck teeth, which is the only reason I can think of that justifies this problem. I also realized I clench my teeth when pronouncing /l/ for some reason?? My pronunciation of /l/ sounds completely fine though, it's just that my mouth doesn't move the same way as everyone else.
So regarding /ʎ/, my parents said I definitely didn't pronounce it correctly when I still had buck teeth. Nowadays, if I'm just speaking casually and not thinking too much about it, I'll pronounce it correctly; people actually get surprised when I tell them I struggle with this sound. I guess it's only noticeable when I'm nervous or too excited/angry/sad etc.
But yesterday, I was teaching this class of 5th graders and taught that "garlic" meant "alho". They didn't understand so I got slightly nervous as in "oh no, they've noticed" so I tried repeating the word but now with the nervousness I just mispronounced it completely. So again they didn't understand. After a 4th time embarrassing myself I just wrote it on the board and confessed my struggle. Which was a terrible idea because they proceeded to bully me till the end of the lesson😭
Anyway, that's the vent. I wonder if anyone else struggles with a particularly difficult sound of their own language. And to learners of Portuguese and Italian, if you're having difficulty with "lh" or "gl", just remember that even some native speakers have a hard time with /ʎ/ too

I have never heard anyone use that word off the internet. It is so unnecessary. Outside the internet, a platonic friend is just called, no points for guessing... a friend.
When someone says friend, the implication is quite clearly that they are just the normal definition of friends, so by prefixing it with platonic you make it look like you're either protesting too much, or just trying to sound smart by being all verbose, depending on the context.

PREFACE

• I (F21) met my crush (NB24) roughly ten months ago.
  • I have had a crush on them for four months.
• We are both a part of the same friend group, including my ex of six months.
  • I broke up with said ex roughly two months ago.
  • My relationship with my ex was an open-relationship, so flirting was allowed.
  • My ex even encouraged my crush.

BACKSTORY

My breakup with my ex was kind of messy. I instigated it—he violated a few of my boundaries, said things that made me uncomfortable, and I made myself a doormat for him—but I was still polite and tried my best to be very accommodating and gentle with him. His behavior was ultimately cruel to me and he said things that hurt me very much afterwards, but I forgave him. He is currently blocked.
Considering we were all a part of the same friend group (messy, messy) I didn't know what to do at the time; was I supposed to leave everyone that I grew to love and care about? Who knows. I made a separate group chat of people I wanted and called it a day. We've been in the server since the end of March.
My relationship with my crush was intended to stay platonic. I planned on getting over the emotions, coping, and forgetting about it. This all was because I was told 1 (one) time that "flirting is allowed as long as it's platonic" and I took it to heart. I didn't want to ruin my friendship.
However, my vulnerability after the breakup kind of made me... clingier. My crush is highly reserved—very quiet, shy, and oftentimes busy—but I went out of my way to talk to them in DMs and help them open up to me. I wanted to get to know them better, even if underneath it all there was something a bit selfish going on.

CURRENT EVENTS

Nonetheless, I'm absolutely dogshit at staying quiet.
Fairly recently, after literally being sleep deprived, I made a joke in the groupchat and everyone obviously commented on it. My crush was a very 'open secret' type of thing and I got teased for it often for being "(Crush)'s #1 Fan". Anyway, after the joke was made I felt extremely guilty about it because of my own personal shame (I beat myself up often every single time I flirted with them because I was a bit of an idiot) and DMed them an apology.
I then bit the bullet, of course, and said there was a conversation me and them needed to have. My crush—who was equally as sleep deprived—basically called me out on liking them.
We had a bit of a discussion while falling asleep over text, but the feelings were reciprocated! I'm ecstatic. I don't want to compare relationships—that is never the best course of action—however when I think of this versus my ex... With my ex, I was confused, pliant, and easygoing. I didn't feel butterflies, get excited, or start rolling around in my bed and stay up for six more hours cleaning my house because of all the nerves and excitement in my body. With my crush, I feel safe. I feel comfortable. I feel like I can show the worst of myself and even if they were angry with me, they'd somehow make it gentle. I'm not being judged for not being perfect. My crush has seen the worst of me, and doesn't care. God, they said they admire me.

NEXT STEPS

The major issue, frankly, is that even though I am extremely happy that my crush likes me, I am ultimately not in the headspace or correct mentality for a relationship. I have deteriorated and fallen back into bad habits, I have made no personal progress to improving my lifestyle, and I simply don't want to treat my crush like a rebound (even if, for all intents and purposes, it kind of is one).
I don't know when I'll be ready. I don't know if it'll be a month from now, two months, or an entire year. I have no idea what I want.
I live in a very impoverished part of the USA—the lower, southern portion—and my crush lives in Canada. It's silly, but I'm very insecure about being southern and my ex even used to blatantly refuse to visit me because of it. Not only that, but I'm disabled. I have health issues and need physical therapy before I'd be able to get a job and an income to afford anything.
To me, I am not worthy of being loved in the state I am because I can only give words or phone calls. I can't give gifts, my love, or my body. I can't visit them and probably won't be available to for at minimum two years. A lot of my past relationships relied on me being a giver. I'm too used to it. It's selfish to think this way and quite pedantic, but I'm not sure what else to do. I know I need to work on my self worth, and that's my goal too.
Regardless, not the point of the post.
Considering me and my crush reciprocated feelings, both feel that we aren't ready for a relationship, and both don't really have the means to do anything with or for one another, do I still stay? Do I still hope for it? Or do I just acknowledge that we like each other and make no move to build and foster it into something that lasts?
What do we do now that it's in the open?

TL;DR

I have just gotten out a relationship with someone from a mutual friend group as my crush. I have known them for nearly a year, and recently confessed. I am not mentally ready to be in a relationship with them and the distance—given I have no means to actually visit them at all for probably literally two/three years—is daunting. Do I keep fostering this relationship and hope they wait for me? Or do I accept that even though me and my crush like each other, it will probably disappear by the time we're both ready for something?
What do we do now that we know we like each other?

FINAL WORDS

Being brutally honest about my situation like this is a bit embarrassing—I understand how it can paint me in a bad light—however realistically I think it should be addressed and at least... aired out.
I don't want to fuck this up.

So I made a post few hours ago in a sub, and it was related to the observations I made about this whole controversy around body counts, and how I believe that most of the reasons behind female subjugation is connected to their sexuality. In my post I wrote following sentence(repeating here word for word):
“Men have never faced the violence that women have to endure all over the world, and throughout centuries in case they failed to prove that they are virgins.”
Guess what? One person quoted half of the sentence “men have never faced the violence that women have to endure” and said that it’s not true because men have experienced more violence. Massive smfh moment. Another man did the same thing, and made the same argument.
That sentence is related to a specific context, that is violence against women in case they fail to prove their virginity, since men weren’t ever even expected to show the proof that they are virgins.
That sentence was starting point of whole paragraph on honour based violence, and ended with me talking about blooded bed sheets, virginity tests, and restoration practices.
This is not the first time it has happened to me. It almost always happens whenever I make a post.

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Since I began contributing to this sub, I've noticed that almost all sheets, even the ones with a lot of data and complexity, aren't very readable. This is not unexpected, though … most people working with sheets are not graphic designers or user experience experts.
Though I too am neither of these things, I have worked on front ends on several projects and worked with some world-class UX folks, so I've picked up some tips along the way. I thought it would be helpful to describe my approach to formatting sheets to give an example of the kind of things that can help make data more easily readable. The idea is not that everyone should format sheets the exact way I do, but rather focus on the more general principles that don't even occur to most people.
Here's a new sheet with some fake data and minimal formatting.
Default formatting
The only formatting that's been done here is bolding the header row, applying default number format to the GPA column, and some column width tweaks. Not so great.
Before I start focusing on eye candy, the first thing I would do to a sheet like this is normalize the data itself. I would put different data in different columns. Specifically, I would split first and last names into different columns. An easy way to do this is select the column and go to Data > Split text to columns. Then, the last names need to be changed from upper case. To do this, insert a column right, then use the formula in C2: =PROPER(B2) and copy it down the column, select those properly formatted values and copy, paste special, values only over B2:B, and then delete the C column with the formulas.
The next thing is to make the column headers as terse as possible. It's preferable to use an abbreviation and move the full explanation into a note attached to that column heading. Also, I would not use initial caps on every word, it's not a title, it's just a heading. Finally, set the significant digits on numerical data. For the GPA, we're only tracking to one decimal point, so get rid of the second one.
Here's where we're at so far after fitting column widths to data:
After normalizing data
Now we can start on the eye candy.
I follow the Tufte school of table design, which means less is more.
First step is to get rid of all lines, colors, and text formatting (bold, italics, etc), and only add back formatting that actually makes the data more readable. This means turn off gridlines, no bolded headers. To make the data easier to follow, increase the font size one or two steps of the headers, and add back faint horizontal lines.
Next step is to align headers with data. Since numerical data is right-aligned, the headers for those cols should match. Also, all data on the sheet should be top-aligned except for headers, which are bottom-aligned. Also, let long headers wrap.
Give the tab a meaningful name. Keep it terse, there's no need for words like "info", "data", etc. Just say what's on that tab.
Finally, freeze header row and name columns (this makes the table easier to navigate on small screens, like mobile). Get rid of excess rows and cols. It can make sense to keep a handful of spare rows at the bottom, but once you have the basic sheet laid out there's not really a good reason to keep any excess cols to the right. When new columns are needed, you'll almost always be inserting them based on a current column's format anyway, so you won't generally want to just use a spare one off to the right. (if you didn't know, inserting a col left or right inserts it with the formatting of the col it's based on.)
Here's where we're at (I renamed the EC col and dropped its note):
Cleaner format
Now it's a good idea to go through the cols and apply explicit formatting. Set text cols to text, numbers to numbers, etc.
Add more formatting on the data. Change places to smart chips instead of just using state codes. Use people smart chips if possible as well. Change cols with limited values to dropdowns (Gender, Class). Do data validation on cols (GPA must be between 0 and 4 and Class rank must be greater than or equal to 1).
If there's a way to limit the values in extracurriculars, bring in another tab with all legal values and limit the values in that col as well. This will help normalize all of the data so that you won't see different ways of representing the same data ("Track & field", "Track and Field", etc.).
Finally, here's where we end up:
Final formatted sheet
This is a far more readable and information-rich sheet than where we started, and the data it contains is far more constrained so that any inconsistencies or irregularities will be marked with an error. This can now serve as a solid base on which to start building more advanced functionality. For instance, we could add a col at the far right and get the Google Maps URL for the home state if we wanted to by putting in I2: =H2.url. If these students had accounts in the same Google Workspace domain and they were representable using People smart chips, we may be able to extract a lot of information in the other cols that way.
Again, this isn't the end-all be-all for formatting, if you read Tufte's advice on representing richer data sets you'll find a lot more advice for formatting much more complex data and keeping it readable. But I hope this convinces some folks that even fairly simple sheets can benefit a lot by avoiding approaches that draw more attention to formatting than the data itself.

Hi everyone, I was wondering if someone could provide insight on my situation.
My ex boyfriend and I (26,23) have been together for 2,5 years. We both agreed that the connection was very special from the beginning, I think I could say he was my first "real" love. During this time we had two long-distance periods of 5 months due to me studying abroad. The first one was planned, went just fine and everything was right back after. The second one wasn't planned, but he encouraged me to take the opportunity. It was rough as we were in different time zones, but when I came back everything "clicked" for me again.
Two months after I got back he broke up with me out of the blue, saying that he just doesn't love me anymore and had been feeling that way for a few months already. I understand that our relationship has gotten a bit "stale" due to me being busy studying, but I genuinely felt fulfilled and happy and he never indicated any problems. He said he still wants us to be "best friends" and agreed to go to relationship counseling on "neutral grounds". A week after the breakup he said he was going on a date. I was naturally upset and said I'm still going to get counseling, alone or with him. A day before our first session he came over, said he canceled the date and went with me. For about a month it was going well, then he suddenly said he wanted to date the other girl because he's in love with her and not with me. That was a week ago. They're not even together yet and she's already the wallpaper of his phone, saved as "my eternal love", all the works lol, I suspect it was like that the whole time, although he swears he didn't cheat. It's all so gross, she's like the polar opposite of me, he says "her personality fits him better" and "they share more hobbies and do more stuff".
Obviously I'm heartbroken. I feel like I have made too many mistakes to hope for reconciliation, I should have gone NC from the beginning. It's also very confusing for me, the day after he told me he wanted to be with someone else he came over, cuddled with me all night and then we impulsively slept together in the morning. He's begging me not to move away, texts me every day, and claims he still wants to "do stuff" together. That all makes me feel like he's just in a rebound, but it might just be wishful thinking. I'm still seeing a counselor myself, this has been actually traumatic for me. I have already made the decision to go NC last week and stopped initiating conversation, but he texts me every day (basic low effort stuff like how are you, updates from his day, etc), even a concerned "I haven't heard from you, is everything okay?" What on earth does he want??? Can we reconcile somehow?
This is all so convoluted. I'll be thankful for any supportive words :)

And I’m scared shitless now. Because I actually feel better. After 2 1/2 years of failed treatments, millions of appointments, too many medications, and knowing nothing but pain that feels like my entire right side of ribs are all broken, on fire, and being stabbed all at once (CONSTANTLY), I’m scared of the pain relief I’m feeling. I’m scared to get my hopes up that this relief will last anything longer than a day. The most relief I’ve ever had has been for a day, after a 4-hour ketamine infusion. Then the pain returned. And we tried another 4-hour ketamine infusion (which suck ass but I’ll always try literally anything for relief), and even after the second one, the response had diminished. I barely felt any relief for a few hours. I’m so scared to get my hopes up right now, but I’m also trying to be positive and not manifest failure myself. I do understand I’ll likely need them regularly for continued relief. But obviously I can’t get them every day. I’m just desperate for this relief to last like AT LEAST 2 months. I could do this every 2 months (I should add my clinic is 4 hours away so I have to make that trip for any procedure/PM appointment). How do I try to stay positive and manifest success with this treatment when all I’ve known is heartbreaking disappointment? I almost feel medical PTSD. I’m just so terrified to do anything that might magically snap me back into my pain (even though I know that’s not how it works). I’m just worried I’m manifesting my own failure. I have way too much anxiety to have chronic pain, it’s not fair (I’m sure that can be said for many of us lol). Anyways, sorry for the long rant. Any words of support or advice from people who have been in similar situations and/or felt the same conflicting and chaotic feelings would be most welcome 🤍

New Chapter on every MWF (Monday, Wednesday,Friday)
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Chapter 21: Reborn
Gribble sitting alongside his grandfather, Gorp, at a serene lake nestled in the heart of a lush forest. The gentle lapping of the water against the shore and the melodic chirping of birds create a peaceful atmosphere. Gribble's small, green hands grip a fishing rod, his eyes fixed on the unmoving line, frustration etched across his youthful face as time passes without a single catch. The sun's warm rays dance upon the lake's surface, casting a golden glow on the tranquil scene, yet Gribble remains oblivious to the beauty surrounding him, consumed by his growing impatience.
Gorp, a wise and patient goblin with a wrinkled face and kind, knowing eyes, notices his grandson's mounting frustration and offers a reassuring smile. With a gentle touch, Gorp places his weathered hand on Gribble's shoulder, his presence alone seeming to calm the young goblin's restless spirit. In a voice filled with wisdom and understanding, Gorp imparts a profound piece of advice that will forever shape Gribble's perspective: "Patience, my dear Gribble, is the bridge to success; when coupled with an unwavering belief in oneself, it becomes an unstoppable force, capable of overcoming even the most daunting of challenges."
As these words resonate deep within Gribble's mind, the peaceful scene begins to fade, the colors blurring and the sounds growing distant. The harsh reality of the present situation comes crashing back, and Gribble finds himself torn from the comforting memory, thrust once more into the dangerous reality of the cave and the looming threat of the Thundercat
Gribble lies on the cold, hard ground of the cave, his small body battered and bruised from the Thundercat's relentless assault. The air is thick with the scent of blood and the tang of fear, as Gribble struggles to catch his breath, each inhalation sending shockwaves of pain through his weakened frame. The Thundercat looms over him, its massive form casting a sinister shadow across the cavern floor, its electric blue fur crackling with barely contained energy. The creature's eyes gleam with a predatory hunger, its gaze fixed upon the helpless goblin, as if savoring the moment before delivering the final, fatal blow.
Gribble's heart races, his pulse pounding in his ears like a frantic drum, as he stares into the face of death itself. The Thundercat's hot breath washes over him, carrying with it the stench of primal ferocity and unbridled power. Gribble's own breath comes in short, desperate gasps, his lungs burning with the effort of drawing in the damp, musty air of the cave. The cold tendrils of fear wrap around his soul, threatening to suffocate him with their icy grip, as he confronts the terrifying realization that his life hangs in the balance, dependent upon the whims of the savage creature that towers above him.
In this moment of absolute horror, Gribble's mind races, desperately searching for a way out, for some glimmer of hope amidst the overwhelming darkness. He knows that he must act quickly, that hesitation will surely spell his doom, but his body feels leaden, weighed down by the burden of his injuries and the paralyzing fear that grips his heart.
In a last-ditch effort to save himself from the Thundercat's impending attack, Gribble musters the remnants of his strength, drawing upon the very last reserves of his power. He calls out to the earth, seeking to summon the dormant life that lies beneath the cave floor, hoping against hope that his earth vine powers will answer his desperate plea. Gribble's mind races as he focuses all of his energy on this single, crucial task, his brow furrowed in concentration, his eyes squeezed shut as he wills the vines to burst forth from the unyielding ground.
The thick green vine is sluggish in its movements, its progress hindered by the unnatural environment of the cave, but still, it inches forward, guided by Gribble's unwavering determination.
Gribble's heart leaps with a sudden surge of hope as he watches the vine snake its way towards the Thundercat, a small, defiant spark igniting within his chest. He knows that this is his only chance, that the success of his plan hinges upon the strength and speed of the vine, and he pours every last ounce of his will into the endeavor. The vine quivers and strains, as if struggling against an invisible barrier, but Gribble refuses to yield, his mind locked in a silent battle of wills with the very earth itself.
As Gribble watches the vine's sluggish progress, a sudden flash of inspiration illuminates his mind, and a daring plan takes shape. With renewed focus and determination, he directs the vine's growth, shaping and molding it with his earth magic, willing it to take on a new, more deadly form. Slowly, the tender green tendril begins to elongate and narrow, its tip sharpening into a wicked point, until it resembles a crude but effective spear, poised to strike at the heart of the Thundercat.
Gribble's eyes narrow as he concentrates on the newly-formed vine spear, his body trembling with the effort of maintaining his mental grip on the volatile plant matter. The spear quivers in the air, its tip aimed squarely at the Thundercat's broad, muscular chest, as if seeking out the creature's vital organs with a hunter's precision. Gribble's breathing grows shallow and rapid, his heart pounding against his ribcage as he prepares to unleash the improvised weapon, knowing that this single strike may well determine the outcome of the battle, and perhaps, the very course of his life.
With a final, desperate surge of energy, Gribble thrusts his hand forward, his fingers splayed wide as he channels every last ounce of his power into the vine spear. Time seems to slow to a crawl as Gribble watches the spear's progress, his heart in his throat, his eyes wide with a mixture of hope and fear, as he silently prays for the success of his gambit
The vine spear’s sharpened tip finding its mark with a sickening thud as it pierces the Thundercat's muscular chest. The creature lets out a deafening roar of pain and surprise, its voice reverberating through the cave like a clap of thunder, as it staggers backward, its electric blue fur standing on end. The Thundercat's eyes widen in shock and disbelief, its gaze fixed upon the slender green tendril that protrudes from its body, as if struggling to comprehend the reality of its own vulnerability.
Gribble watches in stunned amazement as the mighty Thundercat, the very embodiment of primal power and ferocity, begins to falter, its movements growing sluggish and uncoordinated. The creature's massive frame shudders and convulses, its muscles rippling beneath its fur as it fights to remove the vine. The Thundercat's breaths come in short, ragged gasps, its eyes growing dim and unfocused as the life slowly drains from its body, until at last, it collapses to the ground, a final, shuddering sigh escaping its lips.
The cave falls silent, the only sound the steady patter of the rain outside and Gribble's own labored breathing, as he struggles to come to terms with the magnitude of his victory. He stares at the Thundercat's lifeless form, scarcely daring to believe that he, a small, unassuming goblin, could have felled such a formidable beast. A mixture of relief and exhaustion washes over Gribble, his limbs trembling with the aftershocks of the intense battle, as he slowly begins to process the implications of his triumph.
Gribble crawls towards the fallen Thundercat, his movements slow and painful, each breath sending a fresh wave of agony through his battered body. As he nears the creature's lifeless form, an inexplicable urge takes hold of him, a primal desire that he can neither explain nor resist. Before he can question the impulse, Gribble finds himself drawn to the Thundercat's still-warm chest, his hands moving of their own accord as they seek out the beast's most vital organ.
With trembling fingers, Gribble carefully parts the Thundercat's thick fur, revealing the smooth, blue skin beneath. He hesitates for a moment, his mind reeling at the thought of what he is about to do, but the compulsion proves too strong to ignore. With a deep breath and a quick, decisive movement, Gribble plunges his hand into the Thundercat's chest, his fingers closing around the creature's still-beating heart. The organ pulses in his grasp, its rhythm slowing as he carefully extracts it from the Thundercat's body, a faint crackle of residual electricity dancing across its surface.
Gribble brings the heart to his lips, his eyes wide with a mixture of fear and anticipation, as he contemplates the enormity of the act he is about to commit. The coppery scent of blood fills his nostrils, mingling with the damp, earthy smell of the cave, as he parts his lips and takes a tentative bite of the Thundercat's essence. The taste is overwhelming, a flood of rich, primal flavors that dance upon his tongue, setting his senses alight with a rush of power and vitality unlike anything he has ever experienced. The world narrows to a single, focus point, as if the universe itself is holding its breath, waiting to see what awestriking abilities Gribble will gain from this bold act of consumption.
As Gribble swallows the last morsel of the Thundercat's heart, an electrifying surge of power courses through his veins, setting every nerve ending alight with a tingling, almost painful sensation. The goblin's small frame begins to tremble and convulse, his muscles twitching and spasming as the creature's essence merges with his own life force. Gribble gasps as he feels his body start to change, subtle shifts taking place throughout his musculature and skeleton that quickly escalate into all-consuming physical transformations as the potent powers from the heart take hold.
Gribble's once small, wiry muscles begin to bulge and swell, expanding with newfound strength and vitality, as if the Thundercat's raw power is being transmuted directly into his own cells and sinews. His scrawny limbs thicken and lengthen, the sudden growth of his body accompanied by shooting pains and cramps, as he undergoes an accelerated metamorphosis. The goblin's stature increases rapidly, his height multiplying at an astonishing rate, until he towers over his former self, a new, imposing figure of raw power and potential.
But the changes do not stop with his musculature alone. Gribble's senses sharpen to a degree he would never have thought possible, his eyes able to penetrate the thick darkness of the cave without hindrance, every detail of his surroundings now clear and sharp as if bathed in the bright light of day. The goblin's ears twitch and thrum with a newfound sensitivity, able to pick up the tiniest sounds and vibrations from the depths of the cave. Most astonishing of all, sparks of brilliant blue electricity emerge through the hairs on Gribble's arms, dancing and pulsing with a life force that both fascinates and terrifies him. He has been reborn, a product of the powers that now surge within, his body and mind irrevocably altered by the essence of the Thundercat.
As the initial shock of the transformation begins to subside, Gribble becomes aware of a soothing warmth spreading throughout his body, a sensation that stands in stark contrast to the pain and exhaustion that had plagued him mere moments before. The goblin looks down at his battered and bruised form, his eyes widening in astonishment as he watches the myriad wounds and gashes that mar his skin begin to knit together before his very eyes, the flesh mending itself at an impossible rate.
Deep lacerations seal shut, leaving behind only faint, silvery scars that quickly fade into nothingness, as if erased by an unseen hand. Ugly purple bruises that had blossomed across Gribble's body, testaments to the savage beating he had endured at the claws and fangs of the Thundercat, now rapidly diminish in size and color, until they vanish entirely, leaving his skin unmarked and pristine. Even the bone-deep aches and pains that had settled into Gribble's joints and muscles dissipate, replaced by a newfound sense of strength and vitality that courses through his veins like liquid fire.
As the healing process nears its completion, Gribble slowly rises to his feet, marveling at the ease with which he can now move, his body no longer weighed down by the burdens of injury and fatigue. He flexes his fingers experimentally, feeling the raw power that thrums just beneath the surface of his skin, a barely contained energy that whispers tantalizing of limitless potential. A sense of invincibility washes over the goblin, the knowledge that he has not only survived the brutal encounter with the Thundercat but emerged stronger and more powerful than ever before. Gribble's gaze hardens with a newfound sense of purpose, steadied by the certainty that he can now overcome any obstacle that dares to stand in his path.
Even as Gribble revels in the rush of power and the exhilaration of his miraculous recovery, a faint shadow begins to creep across the edges of his consciousness, an unsettling presence that lurks just beyond the reach of his newfound senses. It is a darkness that seems to emanate from deep within his own being, a nebulous entity that tugs at the corner of his thoughts, whispering of hidden costs and unspoken dangers.
The goblin tries to shake off the growing sense of unease, pushing the troubling thoughts aside as he focuses instead on the incredible changes that have taken place within his body, marveling at the raw strength and vitality that now course through his veins. Yet, even as he seeks to bask in the glow of his transformation, the darkness persists, hovering at the edge of his awareness like a silent, watchful specter.
As Gribble moves through the cave, his steps imbued with newfound purpose and power, he cannot escape the nagging feeling that something fundamental has shifted within him, a subtle alteration that goes beyond the physical changes he has undergone. It is as if the essence of the Thundercat, now intertwined with his own lifeforce, has brought with it a touch of something primal and untamed, a wildness that threatens to consume him from within. The goblin's heart begins to race, a sense of trepidation rising in his chest as he ponders the implications of this strange, unsettling presence, wondering what price he may ultimately pay for the powers he has so eagerly embraced.
Driven by an instinctive need to escape the confines of the cave and the lingering presence of the fallen Thundercat, Gribble makes his way towards the entrance, his steps steady and purposeful, imbued with a newfound sense of strength and determination. As he nears the mouth of the cave, the sound of the pouring rain grows louder, the steady patter of droplets against stone echoing through the cavernous space like a ghostly drumbeat.
Gribble steps out into the downpour, his body immediately assaulted by the cold, stinging droplets that fall from the sky in an unrelenting torrent. The water sluices over his skin, running in rivulets through his hair and down his face, yet the goblin barely registers the sensation, his body thrumming with the power of the Thundercat, the electricity that courses through his veins keeping him warm and insulated against the chill of the rain.
He tilts his face upwards, his eyes closed as he allows the water to wash over him, a silent, almost meditative gesture that speaks of a desperate need for cleansing and renewal. The rain beats down upon Gribble's body, as if seeking to purge him of the darkness that has taken root within his soul, to wash away the lingering traces of the Thundercat's essence that now mingle with his own. Yet, even as the water pours over him in an unending stream, the goblin knows that some stains are too deep to be cleansed by mere rain alone, that the changes that have been wrought within him are irrevocable and permanent.
As Gribble stands there in the pouring rain, he catches a glimpse of his reflection in a nearby puddle, the image distorted and rippling with each falling droplet. The face that stares back at him is at once familiar and utterly alien, a strange amalgamation of the goblin he once was and the creature he has become. Gone is the scrawny, unassuming figure that had entered the cave, replaced now by a being of raw power and untamed potential.
Gribble's once wiry frame is now corded with muscle, his body honed and sculpted by the Thundercat's essence, every sinew and fiber imbued with a strength that defies belief. His eyes, once a dull, unremarkable shade, now glint with a predatory intensity, the pupils narrowed to vertical slits that seem to pierce the very darkness itself. The goblin's skin, too, has undergone a transformation, the surface now alive with tiny bolts of blue electricity that dance and crackle with each movement, a testament to the power that flows through his veins.
As he stares at his altered reflection, Gribble is struck by the realization that he is no longer the same goblin he was before, that the experiences he has undergone and the powers he has absorbed have changed him in ways that go far beyond the physical. He senses a new hardness within himself, a steely resolve that was absent before, tempered by the trials he has faced and the darkness he has embraced. The goblin knows that he has crossed a threshold, stepped into a realm of power and potential that few of his kind have ever dared to tread, and that there can be no turning back from the path he has chosen.
As the initial rush of adrenaline and euphoria begins to fade, Gribble is struck by a profound and unsettling realization, a truth that settles over him like a leaden weight upon his soul. The powers he now possesses, the incredible abilities granted to him by the consumption of the Thundercat's heart, have come at a terrible cost, a price that he is only now beginning to comprehend.
Gribble senses that a part of himself has been lost, consumed by the very darkness that now resides within him, a fundamental piece of his being that has been forever altered by the merging of his essence with that of the Thundercat. It is as if a shadow has fallen over his spirit, a veil of darkness that threatens to engulf the very core of his identity, to erode the values and beliefs that once defined him.
The goblin's mind reels as he ponders the implications of this realization, the knowledge that he has willingly embraced a power that may ultimately consume him, body and soul. He wonders what challenges lie ahead, what trials he will face as he navigates this new and uncharted realm of existence, and whether the strength he has gained will be enough to see him through the darkness that surely awaits.
As Gribble stands there in the pouring rain, his body thrumming with power, his mind haunted by the specter of an uncertain future, he knows that he has set foot upon a path from which there can be no retreat. The goblin steels himself, his jaw set with grim determination, as he prepares to embark upon a journey that will test the very limits of his newfound abilities, and perhaps, the very essence of his being. With a final, lingering glance at the cave that has borne witness to his transformation, Gribble turns his face to the storm and steps forward into the unknown, ready to embrace the challenges and dangers that lie ahead.

"I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the ending, saith the Lord, which is, and which was, and which is to come, the Almighty."
Rev. 1:8
"I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. In order for someone to be the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end, he would have to know every little thing from eternity, and also every little thing from eternity. the future, including eternity, who can know such a thing but God? Of course, someone could say that it is, but that would be a lie and it would not be true and only God can claim: "I am the Alpha and the Omega the Beginning and the End" because:
God is omniscient
“Lord! You taste me and know when I sit down and when I stand up; You know my thoughts from afar; When I walk and when I rest, You are around me, and you see all my ways on my tongue, but You, Lord, see, You have already covered me behind and in front and placed Your hand on me. Your knowledge is strange to me, I cannot understand from Your spirit, and where would I flee from Your face, You are there. To descend into hell, to rise on the wings of the dawn, and to move to the end of the sea: And there your hand will lead me, and your right hand will hold me darkness hides me; but even the night is like light around me. Even the darkness will not be eclipsed by you, and the night is as bright as the day: darkness is like light, you created me in my mother's womb, that I am wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful, and not a single bone of mine hid from You, although I was woven in the depths of the earth, she saw my embryo all written, and the days were recorded, when they were not yet, how unfathomable are Your thoughts, God! How great are their numbers”
Psalm 139:1-17
In this psalm we see how many facts God knows about us, but that is only a small part because God has far more knowledge about us, but it is practically impossible to express it in words, and here we see that God knows when we sit down, when we stand up, what we do, how we work, he knows all our ways, all our words that we have spoken, he writes that he knows even our thoughts, we can further see that God knows the past, present and future, knows everything about us even before our birth, etc. This clearly indicates that we cannot do anything without God's knowledge, and this applies only to us humans, who are only a small part of God's omniscience.
Here are a few examples that are close to us from life, something that everyone can understand because not all people are scientists or academic citizens, there are far more "ordinary" people, especially throughout history, and the Bible is written in simple understandable language so that everyone can understand him.
And from this it is clearly seen and everyone can understand that God is omniscient.
"There is none holy like the Lord; for there is none other than Thee; and there is no rock like our God. Speak no more haughtily, and let it not come out of your haughty mouth. for the Lord is God who knows everything, and he executes the purposes."
1 Sam.2:2-3
Here, these verses confirm again that the Omniscient God had a practical lesson here, a friendly advice from God, and it applies to our life, it applies to what we do, how we do and what we say, because God knows everything he does to me, so if we persist, we refuse to live according to the will of God, it is our own fault and one day we will bear the consequences for it. Of course, God does not want to force us to do something, it is our choice, but it is great wisdom to listen to the advice that God gives us because God does not want us to perish so that all may live, and that is the meaning of the word "repentance" from 2 Peter.
"The Lord is not late with His promise, as some think He is late, but He is patient with us, because He does not want anyone to perish, but for all to come to repentance.
2 Peter 3:9
God is present everywhere
We said that God is not limited by earthly laws, nor can the essence of God be fathomed. creation, knowledge, giving, forgiveness, salvation, etc.
"But will God really live on earth? Here, the sky and the heavens above the heavens cannot contain You, let alone this home that I am building".
1 Kings 8:27
"For His eyes are turned to the ways of men and He sees all their steps. There is no darkness or shadow of death where those who do iniquity can hide."
Job 34:21-22
"Where would I go from Your spirit, and where would I flee from Your face? If I go to heaven, You are there. To go down to hell, there you are. To rise on the wings of the dawn, and move to the end of the sea: And there Your hand will lead me, and Your right hand will hold me. To say: Yes if the darkness hides me; but the night is also like light around me. Even the darkness will not be darkened by You, and the night is as bright as the day: darkness is like light. For You created what is in me, you formed me in my mother's womb. I praise You, that I am wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful, and my soul knows it well. Not a single bone of mine has hid from You, even though I was created in secret, woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my embryo, in Your book it was all written, and the days were recorded, when there were none of them yet."
Ps. 139:7-16
"The eyes of the Lord are everywhere, seeing the bad and the good."
Proverbs 15:3
"Am I God from near, says the Lord, and am I not God from afar?" Can someone hide in a secret place so I don't see them? Speaks the Lord; do I not fill heaven and earth? Speaks the Lord.”
Jer. 23:23-24
"If they bury themselves in the lowest part of the earth, from there my hand will take them; and if they go up to heaven, I will take them down from there; And if they hide on the top of Carmel, I will find them and take them from there; and to hide before my eyes at the bottom of the sea, there I will command the serpent to bite them"
Amos 9:2-3
"And there is no substance unknown before Him, but everything is naked and exposed before the eyes of the One to whom we speak."
Hebrews 4:13
God is almighty
In the Bible, we find through different time periods and different manifestations of God's omnipotence, so we will mention some.
We see from the Bible that Abraham was 99 years old, but that he had no offspring, and on one occasion God appeared to Abraham and said:
"And when Abraham was ninety-nine years old, the Lord appeared to him and said to him: I am God Almighty, live according to my will, and be honest. And I will make a covenant between me and you, and I will greatly multiply you. And Abraham fell prostrate. And the Lord spoke to him again and said: From me here is my covenant with you that you will be the father of many nations."
Gen.17:1-4
We further see that Avram was not really sure about that, so he thought that he would never have children with his wife Sarah
"Then Abraham fell on his face and laughed, saying in his heart: When will a son be born to a man of a hundred years? And Sarah? Will a ninety-year-old woman give birth?"
Gen.17:17
And here we can see God's omnipotence, because he told Abraham something that was not very clear to the human mind, but it was very clear to God, that's why he said it to Abraham. We later see from the Bible that this promise was fulfilled, and it was fulfilled because God is omnipotent because He possesses all the knowledge and then it is no problem to fulfill the given promise. This or a similar promise can only be given by God because he is omnipotent, and let's imagine that now we humans make a promise about something that will happen in the future. That promise may happen by chance, or only one part of it may come true, or it may not happen at all, we don't know, but God is omniscient and omnipotent, and when he makes promises, he fulfills them.
We can see the fulfillment through the Bible, but here is just one verse.
"The tribe of Jesus Christ, son of David, son of Abraham"
Mtt. 1:1
Next we have the event when the Lord sent Moses to Egypt to lead the people of Israel out of slavery.
Here we can see that God appears to Moses as God Almighty and not under some other name.
"God is still speaking to Moses and said to him: I am the Lord. And I appeared to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob by the name God Almighty, but by my own name, Lord, I would not be known to them."
Exod.6:2-3
The next example is from John's revelation, where we have a scene in heaven where four living beings praise the Almighty God, and in order for someone to be omnipotent, he must possess the power that sustains everything, and such power is possessed only by the Almighty God.
"And after this I heard a great voice of many people in heaven saying: Alleluia! Salvation and glory and honor and power to our Lord;
Rev. 19:1
,, And I heard as the voice of many people, and as the voice of many waters, and as the voice of strong thunders, saying: Hallelujah! For the Lord God Almighty reigns."
Rev. 19:6
It says that the Lord God is glorified in heaven, who is omnipotent and who reigns, and in the Gospel of Luke we can see from where the Lord reigns.
"The Son of Man will sit at the right hand of the power of God."
Luke 22:69
Therefore, the Lord is on the right side of the power of God and reigns from there, it is written about this:
"...All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me."
Matt. 28:18
The Lord reigns because He is El Shaddai or God Almighty. God possesses infinite power or power that is eternal and has no end, and the part of the prayer "Our Father" reminds us of this.
,,...Because Your kingdom, power, and glory are yours forever. Amen"
Matt. 6:13
God can use this force at his discretion without any trouble or difficulty to create something as in the past when he created the earth and everything living on it or as he is creating today or as he will create in the future.
"Ah, Lord, Lord! Behold, You created the heavens and the earth with Your great power and Your uplifted arm; nothing is difficult for You."
Jer. 32:17
,,He made the earth by his power, established the world with his wisdom, and scattered the heavens with his understanding; When he utters his voice, the waters roar in the heavens, he raises steam from the ends of the earth, he sends lightnings with rain, and he brings forth the wind from his stables."
Jer. 10:12-13
Humans are very intelligent beings and practically they can create anything they want up to certain limits, but in creation we read that God used only a word and it was created, he did not need any material like we need to create something and there is another proof that God is almighty.
,, And God said: Let there be light. And there would be light"
Gen.1:3
"By the word of the Lord the heavens were created, and by the spirit of His mouth all their hosts"
Psalm 33:6
In the Gospel according to Matthew, we read about how only the word of God is needed to heal a person and the disease is defeated, God does not need to be
,,.And the captain answered and said: Lord! I am not worthy that you enter under my roof; but just say the word, and my servant will be healed"
Matt. 8:8
Although God with his power has unlimited possibilities, he will never use his power in such a way as to be in conflict with other attributes of God. We have an example in the confrontation of the Lord Jesus with the cross where Jesus could only say a word and angels would be there who could destroy the whole world and not just the enemies who nailed him to the cross.
"Or do you think that I cannot now beg my Father to send me more than twelve legions of angels?"
Mtt. 26:53
If it had happened that way, it would have contradicted the Father's will and the intention with which the Lord Jesus came to earth, and then Jesus would not have been able to say:
"I glorified You on earth; I've done the job you gave me to do"
John 17:4
Here we see that God uses his almighty power for his glory to fulfill God's plan because what he intended must be and nothing but the will of God can change that plan.
"The Lord of hosts swore, saying: Indeed, it will be as I have planned, and as I have planned it will be done."
Isaiah 14:24
God has planned in advance how the nations will receive the Word of God and it is written about in the Acts of the Apostles where it is said that the evangelizers will receive the power of the Holy Spirit and then practically no one will be able to stop them in that work until they fulfill the activities that God has planned.
"But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit descends on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria and there to the ends of the earth."
Acts 1:8
And finally, let's mention something that hasn't happened yet, but it will happen when the Almighty God will say the Word again and it will be what is written in the revelation and after that what we read in Isaiah.
"And out of His mouth came a sharp sword, to slay the Gentiles with it; and He will strike them down with a rod of iron; and He treads on the cauldron of wine and hearts and the wrath of God Almighty."
Rev. 19:15
"For, behold, I will create new heavens and a new earth,"
Isa. 65:17
Let us also mention that with this power the Lord Jesus defeated Satan in the desert
"Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil. And after fasting for forty days and forty nights, he finally got hungry. And the tempter approached Him and said: If You are the Son of God, say that these stones become bread. And He answered and said: It is written: Man does not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God. Then the devil took Him to the holy city and placed Him on top of the church; So he said to him: If you are the Son of God, jump down, because it is written that he will command his angels for you, and he will take you in his hands, so that you do not trip over a stone with your foot. And Jesus said to him: But it is also written: Do not tempt the Lord your God. Again the devil took Him and took Him to a very high mountain, and showed Him all the kingdoms of this world and their glory; And he said to him: I will give you all this if you fall down and worship me. Then Jesus said to him: Get away from me, Satan; because it is written: Worship the Lord your God and serve Him alone. Then the devil left Him, and behold, the angels approached and served Him."
Mtt. 4:1-11
Finally, here are a few more verses that confirm that God is almighty:
,, And God said to him: I am God Almighty; grow and multiply; a nation and many nations will become of you, and kings will come from your loins."
Gen.35:11
"For the Lord your God is God of gods and Lord of lords, a great, mighty and terrible God, who does not look at who is who, nor does he accept gifts;"
Deut.10:17
,,And said, O LORD God of our fathers, art not thou God in heaven? and rulest not thou over all the kingdoms of the heathen? and in thine hand is there not power and might, so that none is able to withstand thee?"
2 Chron. 20:6
"From the north it comes like gold; but in God there is a more terrible glory. He is Almighty, we cannot reach Him; he is of great power, but with judgment and great justice he does not torment anyone"
Job 37:22-23
"Look, I am the Lord God of all flesh, is there anything difficult for me?"
Jer. 32:27
"And Jesus looked at them and said to them: With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."
Matt. 19:26
,,And Jesus looked at them and said: With men it is impossible, but not with God: for all things are possible with God."
Mark 10:27
"Because with God everything is possible that he says."
Luke 1:37
We have seen several examples of God's qualities that confirm the verses that the Lord Jesus gave John to write down. The only "Someone" who possesses the qualities that we have studied can say that he is the Almighty, and that is God, the Lord Jesus Christ.
"I am Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End, says the Lord, Who is, and who was, and who is to come, the Almighty."
Rev. 1:8
The verses we have studied should strengthen us in our faith because if God promises something, He surely fulfills it, and in this case it refers to the coming of the Lord Jesus Christ in glory.
God reveals the fulfillment to us in 21 chapters where he says:
,, And he said to me: It is finished. I am Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End. I will give the thirsty from the spring of living water forever."
Rev. 21:6

Im looking for an app/ a game that makes remembering the words easier. Any suggestions?

I only have the books in audiobook format so sorry if spelling is off. Are there references in legends of the first empire to say who last owned or carried the sword of the word? I can’t fully remember.
Also, was “sword of tesh” carried with him to Muriel’s cabin? This isn’t some subtle hint about him making it out of the mud pit is it?

Hello everyone,
Just for context, I am a self-publisher, and ex-googler (20k copies sold - made 100k+ overall). I coded my author website myself, to include the features that I wanted and are important to me, and after a while, I decided to make it available for other publishers to use for their own businesses.
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I made a list of rules I follow and was wondering what color(s) it would fall under.
My life rules

1. Life will inconvenience you at any time. Expect it. Do not overreact. Overcome.
   
2. Don't value the words of those beneath you. If they hold no control over your life, why would their words.
   
3. Worry about that which is important. Is this essential. Does a situation need to elict an emotional response. In indifference to something trying to get to you gives you power over them and makes them feel less than they already are.
   
4. Assume everyone will do what's in their best interest, not yours.
   
5. Treat failure as a learning experience. Treat success as an obvious outcome, not a surprise.
   
6. Put pride in yourself. Accept what you cannot control but improve what you can.
   
7. Changing yourself is necessary to adapt to the world. Make sure you change for the better.
   
8. Be calm, quiet, serene and live in harmony with the world and people around you. Like it or not, you cannot survive without them. Accept that no matter how self sufficient you are, you cannot survive without health care, farmers, and other essentials we have been indoctrinated into. This is not bad. This is life.
   
9. Embrace your feelings but don't let them control you. Do not do things that will upset you and make you feel bad. If a job isn't working out for you, find a new one. If a relationship isn't working out, leave. Do not complain, do.
   
10. Meditate. Review. We all think about what we could have said long after the opportunity to say it has passed. Look back at yourself and compare the old you to the current you. You should hate younger you. If you don't, you didn't grow as a person.
    
11. Success is different for everyone. The slums may be terrible to you, but could be a paradise for someone living in the streets. Just because you don't have wealth doesn't make you a failure. Don't let others determine what success is. You can be accomplished and happy with little or a lot. It is your choice. No one elses.
    
12. Destiny is in stone. You have the chisel.
    

First I Previous
Chapter 3
“... they’re called the Satura,” Vargas explained, while Mike ladled himself a second helping of the beef bourguignon. “It’s not what they call themselves,” he hastened to add, “it’s just the word ‘enemy’ in some ancient human tongue. At least, that’s what we’ve been told.”
“Told by who?” the sergeant asked.
“By those who reside further in the future,” Amélie informed him. “They have far more knowledge of the enemy than we do.”
He gave the Frenchwoman a confused look. “You must understand, Sergeant Delany, that time travel is extremely difficult,” Vargas continued. “It requires a great deal of energy, and much like your automobile, the farther you go, the more energy is required. Unlike your vehicle, however, it’s not a simple 1:1 ratio. Like the speed of light, it’s bound by the same parameters of the E=mc² equation that Einstein first theorized.”
Mike just stared at him. Vargas sighed. “You do know who Einstein is, right?”
The paratrooper suddenly got defensive. “Of course I know who he is,” Delany sniffed. “German scientist. Something about atoms, I think?” he guessed.
The astronaut looked as if he were physically ill. “Patience, Anton,” Amélie counseled, patting his arm. “Remember how much I struggled with these concepts, at first.”
He nodded his head in agreement. “You’re right,” he grimaced. “My apologies, sergeant. It’s just that Einstein and his Theory of Relativity are famous in my time, and much of the population understands at least some of its ramifications. I occasionally forget that his work was heavily classified during your era, and for good reason.”
Mike’s brow furrowed. “What reason?” he asked.
The other two shared a look before Antonio picked up a small black device and pointed it at a nearby wall. “Do you recall me telling you that World War II… your war… ended a year after your death?” Mike nodded. “Well,” the astronaut continued, “... here’s how it happened.”
Delany’s eyes widened in shock as a massive explosion suddenly appeared on the wall, the detail of the display so realistic he almost hit the deck in response. A massive fireball rose over a ruined city, while a shockwave slammed into the nearby surroundings.
“Hiroshima, Japan,” Vargas said quietly. “August 6th, 1945. America had been working in secret for years to develop an atomic bomb, originally because Nazi scientists were working on the same thing. The thought of them getting hold of this technology first terrified people… with good reason, I might add… only Germany surrendered before a working prototype could be tested.”
He couldn’t take his eyes off the mushroom-shaped cloud. “Were the Japs working on a bomb too?” he asked them.
The astronaut winced at the ethnic slur, but let it pass. “No,” he answered, “that kind of technology was beyond their capabilities. The US used the bomb to force them to surrender, only the one they dropped on Hiroshima wasn’t enough.” He got a distant look in his eyes. “So they did it again, three days later, at Nagasaki. It too, was destroyed.” Blanking the wall screen, he turned back to face the soldier. “A month after that, the Japanese surrendered. Unconditionally. That’s what Einstein’s theory helped to create.”
Mike’s jaw set in a hard line. “Don’t count on me feeling sorry for them.”
Vargas held up his hand. “Two hours ago, you were fighting for your life. I don’t expect you to just suddenly forget all of that. But from my perspective, that war ended a century ago. Germany and Japan are now some of America’s staunchest allies.”
“In your time,” Amélie emphasized.
He took a moment to process all of that. “Well, I appreciate the history lesson. Good to know that we won the war. But what’s any of it got to do with these aliens we’re supposed to be fighting?”
“I was just getting to that,” Antonio replied. “The Theory of Relativity says, among other things, that the closer you get to the speed of light, like ninety percent on up, the energy required to accelerate increases exponentially. It’s why nothing can go faster than that, because it would require infinite energy. Which is impossible.”
Amélie leaned in, a wicked smile on her face. “Unless you cheat, as we do.”
“What she means is there are loopholes within the equations we can exploit,” Vargas clarified. “Moving an object in time, such as a human, requires energy. The further you travel, the more it costs, until eventually, you reach a point where you hit a wall. None of us can journey more than two or three centuries from our point of origin, because of the energy cost requirements. After that?” He shrugged. “You simply bounce off an invisible barrier.”
Mike thought about that for a minute. “Then how can you possibly know what’s happening in the far future?” he asked.
“Way stations,” the Frenchwoman supplied. “Picture a series of forts, strung along the frontier. While we cannot travel physically to the nearby garrisons, we can signal them. Information can be passed from one to another, up and down the line.”
“Much like the old Pony Express,” Vargas supplied. “It’s not a perfect system, unfortunately. Information can be lost, or garbled. But it’s what we have,” he shrugged.
“So… there’s a series of outposts stretching to the distant past and the far future? Sending signals back and forth, working together against a common enemy?” It was a lot to take in, but Mike felt like he was making sense of it.
“Well… you are half right,” Amélie admitted unhappily. “While there are many such way stations in our future, behind us?” She shook her head. “Que dalle. Nothing.”
Mike stared at her. “I don’t understand.”
“It’s the technology,” Antonio sighed. “It’s simply too complicated for someone born much earlier than the late twentieth century to grasp. Take me, for example,” he said, indicating himself. “I was a combat pilot in the Navy, before I became an astronaut, flying aircraft that would have easily defeated the entire Luftwaffe. I also hold advanced degrees in engineering and physics, but when I look at the schematics sent to us from up time?” He held up his hands in surrender. “I feel like a chimpanzee staring at a P-51.”
“Anton has tutored me for years, and there is still much I do not understand,” Amélie informed him.
“Even if we were talking about a certified genius, someone like Da Vinci, for example, for them to make sense of the information they’d need to recreate all of this?” He spread his arms wide, encompassing the structure surrounding them. “It would be like trying to decipher hieroglyphics. We’ve sent messages to the past, hoping that someone somehow managed the impossible, but we’ve never received a reply.” Vargas sighed in defeat. “Which means we are the last line of defense.”
“The three of us,” Mike said, deadpan. “What the hell are we supposed to do?”
“Our mission is threefold,” the astronaut explained. “First, to detect and counter any temporal incursions by the enemy. Second, to take the fight to the enemy, whenever and wherever possible. And finally, to retrieve those like us, individuals who have become untethered in time, and recruit them to the cause.”
Amélie reached out and took Mike’s hand. “The very future of all humanity is at stake,” she said softly, her dark eyes pleading with him. “You are a soldier, and we need you. Will you help us?”
He was silent for a long time. The others waited, having already made their case. Finally, he looked up at them both. “I can’t go back, can I?” he said quietly.
“No… you cannot,” the Frenchwoman agreed. “You no longer belong to that reality. We can make brief visits to accomplish our mission, but any more than a few days, the timeline will reject you, casting you into the void. Et pouf,” she pantomimed, spreading her fingers wide to suggest a magician making something vanish.
“But… wouldn’t you just return here?” he asked them.
“I’m afraid not,” Vargas disagreed. “Like I said, it requires the energy output of a Tachyon weapon to disconnect you from the timeline. We can create a temporary link that will keep you in place, like a climber’s safety harness. But it doesn’t last long, because the physics of our old timeline are already hard at work unraveling it. If you wait too long…” he shrugged.
“... you fall to your death,” Mike finished for him. The other man nodded somberly in agreement. He took a long draught of his wine, his mind spinning as he struggled to make sense of all he’d learned. In the end, he just shrugged.
“In that case, since I don’t have any choice… I volunteer,” he told them both, plastering on his best counterfeit smile as he held out the empty goblet.
“I could use a refill,” he said wryly.
First I Previous

...or how I realized I am much closer to ChatGPT than an actual person.
I thought I'd share a couple thoughts I had about how I experience and use language and how I realized its nothing like neurotypicals use it. I hope someone finds this helpful.
This might be a bit abstract.
For context I speak 4 languages, of which 3 with native proficiency and I always had a “knack” for picking them up.
Basically sometime in the past decade I realized I don't actually participate in "communication" when I speak, write or ingest information. Confusing, I know and really hard to explain.
I effectively only use phrases/sentences I have learned before through context, whether in real life from observing people, television, books, or any other media and I manipulate some of the words or re-combine sentences to make new ones that vaguely fall within the expected output.
I'm just a Large Language Model Algorithm (the algorithm that makes ChatGPT work) - using sophisticated mimicry and a VERY large data set.
The first time I thought about this is when I had a really bad burnout and people speaking to me stopped making sense. I was so burned out that the algorithm had to be shut down, people saying things was just random noises coming out of weird flesh-holes.
Then looking back at my life and my childhood I started identifying more things that lined up. I learned to read when i was 4 and I have devoured books ever since in multiple languages.
When I was 8 i remember a friend of my grandmas remarking about me that I sound like "a 40 year old writer" - and that was true, as I was using largely fiction and non-fiction book phrases for combinations, as that was most of my database at the time.
I was later often told I sound like a robot or a textbook, and to some extent looking back at it I probably did because my use of language was entirely contingent on phrases and combinations i had available.
I have tried my entire life to perfect my usage of language for communication by reading about it, attending seminars and workshops.
As my repository grew, my skill became better, but just like any other algorithm its never going to be "real" because i don’t actually understand how to naturally use language.
Its always going to be to some extent uncanny valley or at worst produce errors (that’s when we get "misunderstandings" or at worst where I just error out with nonsense). And there is also always the problem with being put into communication situations where my repository is insufficient, i.e. speaking to people from different backgrounds, specialties and cultures and there is a significant and long "dial in" period before I can mimic that style and function around them.
Speaking to other neurotypicals it has been a difficult realization how effortlessly NTs use language. That they don't need to dial in their words or consciously have to embellish their sentences to not sound too "robotic" or "rude”.
They just express what they want without the mantal load of having to think about it at all - crazy!
Anyways thank you for coming for my TED Talk