Jail bait youngest

i have a friend (she’s a 25 year old woman) who’s in the shittiest situation ive ever seen in my life.
it’s a long story, so in short: she got pregnant by a guy who she had only known for one month (at the time). they were coworkers who met at mcdonald’s.
my friend is extremely poor, lives in an inherited family trailer with no utilities, water, sewer, etc. i’m not rich, or even wealthy, but when i have extra money i help her. she doesn’t have any family- they have all died from drugs, cancer, or are in prison. her life is very sad.
anyway, she’s pregnant, extremely poor, unsafe living environment, and on top of all this she told me a few nights ago that the man who impregnated her r*ped a 13 year old child. this alone would have been ammunition to abort if i were her, but she still wants to have a fairytale life with this dude.
i am pro choice. so i support a woman’s decision to keep or abort her child. my friend has been teetering the line of both decisions since she was 6 weeks pregnant (she’s 9 weeks now). at 6 weeks i told her i had abortion pills that she could take. she accepted my offer then back tracked because she said her ex who just got out of prison (not the baby daddy, a different man) said he’d marry her and raise the child as his own- this dude beat her and is addicted to heroin and alcohol. i tell her this is not a good idea, and she’d get more benefits from the state as a single poor mom but she says “i just don’t want to be alone”.
i guess i should add, we live in texas. so my friend didn’t take the abortion pills i offered her because 1) she’s afraid she’ll go to jail & 2) she thinks the r*pist baby daddy is going to suddenly change and be a family man
i’ve explained to her countless times, unless she told someone about the abortion pills, no one will know. now that she’s 9 weeks pregnant the pills are no longer an option though (i think).
she’s always complaining to me how depressed she is and how her depression will negatively impact the baby, she called me one night saying she had a gun to her head because she feels alone. she got on her knees and begged her abusive felon ex to take her back when the r*pist blocked her on his social media and said he wanted nothing to do with her anymore.
this woman’s life is in fucking shambles. i’m getting nervous about this baby of hers.
she had so many opportunities to abort with the pills i gave her.
im an outsider in the situation and don’t know what to do. aside from offering the pills i really don’t know what to do as a friend. not to sound like a monster, but the baby should not be born. the r*pists genes do not deserve to be passed on.
also i feel like when the baby is born, it will be in danger and notifying cps would be the best thing to do for the babies safety, but she’s told me several times that she would kill herself if something like that happened.
thank you to whoever read all this. also, i’d like to add i know this sounds like a rage-bait karma farm story. it’s not. east texas is filled with a lot of people like this unfortunately. i just don’t have anyone to talk to this about so im turning to this sub like i always do.

My situation is very complicated and I don’t know who to turn to. Backstory: My youngest daughter (16) is the product of an affair her father and I had. I was not married, but he was, and told me they were separated. He denied we ever had relations until courts forced DNA test. We battled for custody for 5 years. We ended up with 50/50 custody, and we both signed a contract saying neither of us could file to modify the parenting plan without mediation first.
We did that for a year or so but then my situation destabilized. Long story short, I ended up homeless, and had to move from TN to WA with my older 2 kids. I knew I couldn’t take her out of state without going through court, and being homeless with small children, and having no time to spare, I left her with him. We agreed when I got there and got stable, we would meditate to work out a different plan. As soon as I got here, he and his whole family deleted all social media and changed their numbers. He even moved.
That was 10 years ago, and I’ve been trying with limited resources to find her ever since. I look all the time, and finally, he has a new insta and Facebook. His guard is finally down I guess. I catfished him. I found out that a few months after I left, he got arrested and sent my daughter to live with his sister. He was in jail for 6 months, but his sister wouldn’t give back our child, and he didn’t see her for 6 years. She ended up giving her back in 2020 when she got Covid and almost died. The whole family has been trying to get her back from him, and obviously still keep her from me.
He has fled with her and is now living in a 5th wheel camper with her in a very small town in Ohio. What can I do? Where do I start? Should I call cps in Ohio? I know he’s on drugs. Should I call the police in tn since he has left the state with her? He has never been back to court in all these years. As far as TN knows, the same parenting plan is in place. Any advice would be welcome and appreciated.

Ok this is going to be a long one but this is my first ever post about my life this is a burner account. My girlfriend (f 31) of 14 years broke up with me (m 32) a few months ago and we still live together we broke up because I let myself get too far gone. I suffer from depression and anxiety as well as PTSD from having an abusive schizophrenic mother who's a narcissist, I also got into gangs when I was young to give you some background anyway our problems started almost a year into our relationship i didn't know i had PTSD yet but I got into fights with friends and even my dad a man I respect and am closer to than anyone other than my ex and my kids anyway I always had fits and one day she tried to hit me and I smacked her hand to the table she fractured her arm and I took her to the hospital she panicked and made up something about being jumped and the cops came and I think she told them I was the cause after a while but renigged her statement later they interrogated me for hours at the station I knew not to tell the police the truth is I felt bad I felt guilty I loved her so I told the truth we both missed each other and she lived with me and my parents we rented an apartment from my dad and him and my mom lived in another at the time we had a no contact order but she got on the phone when I called my parents and pretended to be someone else and we talked and they brought it up in court I ended up having to take a dv charge I was set to win the case but they used the phone calls against us and threatened charges on her and my parents if i didn't plead guilty so I pleaded guilty and when I got out she got pregnant she was working a good job at the time but she got into a car accident she already took a pregnancy test so we knew she was pregnant and I was happy I knew she would make a good mother and I knew i wanted her to be the mother of my children and my forever since the day we met we had already had a miscarriage and she had a whole in her heart from a child that she took care of in her past relationship she was a runaway and had past trauma of her own her mother was abusive as well and every boyfriend she ever had abused her I was supposed to be different I didn't know I was so broken if I knew I had PTSD I would have left her alone but we fell in love deeply I want to say nothing happened when she was pregnant but it did we got into a bad argument and I kicked the basinet and it hit her in the stomach immediately snapped out of it after that nothing else happened until the baby was born our child was born 3 weeks premature and was my pride and joy still is my ex had postpartum so I spent a lot of time with the baby and because of the accident my ex was passing out and having seizures which later we found out were psudo seizures but they felt real and sometimes she passed out or had a seizure and woke up not knowing where she was who she was who I was but she said my voice calmed her down and I was always able to bring her back to reality she got a few concussions from her seizures but also a few from me if I'm being honest I went to the neurologist with her because of the concussions she got from the seizures but to later give her one I was disgusted with myself but she couldn't work anymore so I looked for job i couldn't find anything so I worked for the apartments under the table but that dried up I found something else it dried up too I kept looking but it was useless I had to move back in with my parents with my ex and our first born they had a 3 bedroom and we paid them well she did I eventually got on SSI because of the physical pain from my mother's abuse bipolar disorder depression and PTSD I already went to get help when my ex was pregnant because I wanted to know why I was doing what I was doing my parents wanted me to get a check so they sent me to the counselor but I wanted to get help with my relationship and being honest helped me get my diagnosis but I lost that counselor like I lost every counselor I ever actually felt i could actually open up to anyway we are in my parents house and my mom is a big trigger for me we were paying rent and she accused us of stealing even coming in our room uninvited by then she was pregnant with our youngest and I wasnt perfect then either I was still struggling with my PTSD I did for years I pushed her in the closet and told her she couldn't leave my mom was there watching a constant trigger I snapped out of it but things got bad between my ex and my mom and they started to fight each other never physical but verbal and after she had the baby she almost died she lost a lot of blood I didn't know if I could trust my mom with the baby so I didn't go I still regret that decision but when she came back we waited for a few more and I used my back pay to get her a car and to get out of my mom's house our oldest has high spectrum autism and is really smart and talkative but after that short time living with my parents she developed selective mutism and we had to take her to speach therapy so we put up with roaches for 15 months just to get away from my mom and at the new place she got her lick back she was trying to beat on me and she was trying to stab me from time to time i had a PTSD attack and it would be back and forth but to be honest this started a new problem i was young and I used to flirt i kissed a girl once when we first started dating it was an ex she also slept with her ex best friend before I got locked up again just background truth is i was a flirt for a few years I was young and still searching for the approval i never got from my mom in other women I'm not proud of it though I was talking to women on Craigslist friends only and casual encounters sadly I wasn't trying to cheat i wanted someone i didn't know to talk to about my problem I stopped talking to all my female friends and she stopped talking to her male friends at each other's requests because of the cheating and I stopped talking to anyone that would be around a lot of women and all my other friends were either too gangster to listen or already in happy situations so I wanted to talk to a stranger that was a woman for advice I don't know what it is but women give better advice so I foolishly went to Craigslist and got caught but I ended up actually cheating months later with an ex that I thought I could be friends with but she was my first love and I told her some of what I was going through and we ended up having sex I was feeling guilty and took forever to get hard she had an IUD it was horrible tbh and on top of that she tried to 3 way my ex just to get me to admit it was her after my ex called her and acted like she wasn't the one i cheated with the whole time she tried to ruin my relationship after that after a year of trying and going to specialist my ex got her own SSI check and we got out of our roach infested apartment things were ok I had been trying to work on my triggers and had way less PTSD attacks and things were better for a few years she had a problem with me liking pictures on Instagram and I admit I hate being told what to do especially when I feel I'm doing nothing wrong and I was liking everything not just girls and I never commented anything but where did you get that shirt my girl would love that or happy birthday or thank you and I never slid in dms none of that I just liked pictures and I worked on it eventually because it was the only thing we argued about after a while but then everything changed we got into a big fight and I called her a name she ran at me got on the bed and punched me in the jaw so hard like I'm pretty tough I been hit in the face with a bat and when I tell you she hit me she hit me and when she went to hit me again I just reacted I flipped her then I blacked out I woke up and my hands were wrapped around her neck I snapped out of it and my parents took her to the hospital another thing I never learned to drive my step dad the man I call dad is a good man and a hard worker but he was a drug addict and a thug who was a alcoholic so he never had a license my whole life and my mom was to selfish to teach me I was always to poor for lessons my girl is the best driver I know but never taught me because she would say things like I'll be cheating as soon as I learn to drive so I never learned I regret that too anyway they took her to the doctor and she tore her hamstring I tried to take care of her but she wasn't having it she didn't stay rested she stayed on her feet one time she even punched me when I tried to help we were still in love but it was dying we eventually made up but every year after that she was telling me she needed help telling me she was falling out of love she asked me to help around the house I was lazy at the beginning of our relationship and I got used to her cleaning but by the time we got out of the roaches my depression got so much worse I was trying to get help until COVID kept losing counselors to the point I stopped telling them about my whole life and I started skipping straight to me and my ex I wanted help I was tired of hurting the woman I love but something else happened we got into an argument and I said something slick and she tried to stab me I evaded her and calmed her down but the argument went into the next day I locked myself in the bathroom and she tried to break the door down we had a sword in the bathroom for security and I threatened to stab her with it she had a panic attack and called the police I got a misdemeanor harassment charge but I never got mad I worked on myself I didn't want us to argue like that anymore I got out of jail and I was ordered to go to anger management I wish they made me go the very first time but when I went I embraced it and used it to help me with my triggers and that helped not only with my PTSD but with my fight or flight response as well after I got out I came clean about everything and even about the ex I cheated with man she beat me in the head so bad I got multiple concussions but I wasn't mad I actually felt good because I didn't black out I was doing it i was working on my triggers but we kept arguing and every year she told me that she still loves me and wants to make it work but she's losing interest and I told her I'd change and I wanted to but i couldn't my parents didn't take much medicine my mom took Wellbutrin and other things but they made her sleep all day she was dead to the world and I took paxil and Adderall as a kid and I felt like a zombie not to mention my dad was afraid of pills and side effects so I was afraid to take medicine but I needed it my depression was so far gone that I stopped feeling empathy I was empty and I let my guilt and regret and hatred of myself lead to more depression I'm a good singer and rapper I stopped doing music I blamed her but it was depression she suffers from cyclic vomiting syndrome and I just sat on my ass when she got sick I didn't help I wasn't doing dishes but I couldn't even wake up and take a shower or brush my teeth it was horrible I didn't love myself and I was angry at the world and I took it out on her I felt useless so when we argued about me not helping I called her useless everything I felt about me I projected onto her I was numb and I think she was too then I got on tiktok and found something I was good at again I got a lot of followers very quick but that one ex that I cheated with came back and this time It was innocent but my ex told me any interaction with her and it's over but she had a large following and I was trying to get paid but my ex found out and like an idiot I was trying to not delete or block her because im a man and I'm trying to get ahead you aren't a man you can't even help the woman you love you idiot then she kept telling me she was done but we dragged it on because we loved each other by December 2023 we were done but we were still acting like a couple I was in denial thinking we were fixing it because before my birthday at the beginning of 2022 I was diagnosed with high blood pressure I decided to have 1 last year of holiday food and going out to eat and we started working out 2023 and I have lost 108 lbs with her help and her love and support we started a diet and worked out in the house 5 days a week she saved my life once again of course I was in denial of course I was trying to work it out but those last few months were crazy that last year was crazy in 2022 she got into a car accident and she was sore for a while but she found out that she actually broke her rib and healed it messed up and never knew so she got into working out to lose weight and we started our diet in 2023 but in 2022 I found Kevin Samuels and all that alpha male red pill male chauvinist poison it was bull shit I was insecure trying to convince myself that the most feminine beautiful woman I know is some how masculine and modern wtf is modern i wasn't true masculine I wasn't high value i was a loser that couldn't get off my ass for the woman I love and those ideas are disgusting even if you have money you shouldn't be allowed to cheat that's crazy I would just spew that horse shit when we argued she told me thats what really started pulling her away every time she argued that she needed help I started to act like it wasn't my place and that if I had a job I wouldnt have to clean but the truth is I got anxiety every time I saw those dishes piled up I felt like my chest was caving in same with laundry or any chores working out forced me to shower every day but I still made excuses not to shower we did 15-30 minute workouts if I had to go to the gym I might have died from getting fatter I lost my motivation and looking back I should have taken meds but I told y'all how my parents looked at medicine and my experience not to mention my girl trying to fix stomach problems and sleep problems literally experienced so many side effects I was just afraid to take the medicine but I wish I did because I would have saved my relationship neither one of us takes depression meds I looked for work but I don't even have a GED if you want that story I'll save it for the comments btw I forgot to say our child also gets a check so together we make enough money to live we just struggle for some wants everyone has clothes but there's not always a lot of money to shop for every one so we rotate between buying things for them and us through the months we even had to pay rent in two different places at the end of our lease and we made it happen off our checks and donating plasma we paid 2700 between two places with teamwork and sacrifice but like I said we broke up December 2023 we broke up and I was in denial and thought we were working out we were losing weight together going out doing couple things still having amazing sex it was always mutually great i was big on massages and running baths i was a great gift giver but I didn't lift a finger she was sick and all I did was roll a blunt and run a bath I was letting fruit flies fly around the house we were going out to eat spending money we didn't have to go out to eat that's why I gained all that weight in the first place I don't understand I love her and my kids with all my heart I never thought she would never leave me I was afraid she would leave but I just let it happen she is the love of my life afraid or not I should have taken the pills but that too gave me so much anxiety but I should have risked side effects feeling like a zombie sleeping all day anything is better than this because if I took the medicine we might still be together and since she was able to get past her depression and she feels like she was forced to get out of her depression because she was a mom she hates me she comes from a vacationing family I couldn't give them a lot of that but we still go camping and go out of town sometimes we have a car that's almost paid off but we are 32 and she has nothing to show for being with me but a car an apartment and no savings and if I loved her i would have tried harder but I couldn't i was paralyzed by depression and anxiety she doesn't believe me because she overcame her depression and anxiety we moved in our new place and I was planning on ending my life God spoke to me for the first time and my ex always wanted me to find God but my mom was gullible when it came to scamming preachers and she wasted so much of our money on books and prayer cloths that I went away from my faith for years so finding God was weird but I was accepting of his love he told me to fight for my family and that the path might be long but I can get my family back if im reborn and I make the promises I couldn't keep all of a sudden im reading the Bible every day cooking every day cleaning every day even looking for a job everyday but she says it's too late we sleep in the bed together so I don't have to sleep on the couch we slept together like twice but it didn't mean anything she wouldn't even kiss me and she cut me off we always promised we would at least have a sexual friendship relationship but i think i messed it up i just want to make it work i even told her she could have 2 boyfriends so I can work on being who she needs and have some one to help her with everything else until I can show I can be her problem solver she says it's over but we were in love for 14 years we were in love 6 months ago but in March I made a joke that killed us she was listening to a song called john redcorn and we got to arguing and I said that's some John redcorn shit she thought I meant my daughter our youngest and after what I put her through when she was pregnant she couldn't do it and like an idiot I doubled down and she thought i was saying our youngest wasn't mine it was horrible I told my kids everything they are 10 and 12 they lost hope in our relationship for a while but they want me back with they're mom I know I have to stay this man for the rest of my life if I want to get her back i have to work on communication and keep a job im even going back to counseling but she thinks I never loved her because I let it get this far what do I do?

Ok this is going to be a long one but this is my first ever post about my life this is a burner account. My girlfriend of 14 years broke up with me a few months ago and we still live together we broke up because I let myself get too far gone I suffer from depression and anxiety as well as PTSD from having an abusive schizophrenic mother who's a narcissist I also got into gangs when I was young to give you some background anyway our problems started almost a year into our relationship i didn't know i had PTSD yet but I got into fights with friends and even my dad a man I respect and am closer to than anyone other than my ex and my kids anyway I always had fits and one day she tried to hit me and I smacked her hand to the table she fractured her arm and I took her to the hospital she panicked and made up something about being jumped and the cops came and I think she told them I was the cause after a while but renigged her statement later they interrogated me for hours at the station I knew not to tell the police the truth is I felt bad I felt guilty I loved her so I told the truth we both missed each other and she lived with me and my parents we rented an apartment from my dad and him and my mom lived in another at the time we had a no contact order but she got on the phone when I called my parents and pretended to be someone else and we talked and they brought it up in court I ended up having to take a dv charge I was set to win the case but they used the phone calls against us and threatened charges on her and my parents if i didn't plead guilty so I pleaded guilty and when I got out she got pregnant she was working a good job at the time but she got into a car accident she already took a pregnancy test so we knew she was pregnant and I was happy I knew she would make a good mother and I knew i wanted her to be the mother of my children and my forever since the day we met we had already had a miscarriage and she had a whole in her heart from a child that she took care of in her past relationship she was a runaway and had past trauma of her own her mother was abusive as well and every boyfriend she ever had abused her I was supposed to be different I didn't know I was so broken if I knew I had PTSD I would have left her alone but we fell in love deeply I want to say nothing happened when she was pregnant but it did we got into a bad argument and I kicked the basinet and it hit her in the stomach immediately snapped out of it after that nothing else happened until the baby was born our child was born 3 weeks premature and was my pride and joy still is my ex had postpartum so I spent a lot of time with the baby and because of the accident my ex was passing out and having seizures which later we found out were psudo seizures but they felt real and sometimes she passed out or had a seizure and woke up not knowing where she was who she was who I was but she said my voice calmed her down and I was always able to bring her back to reality she got a few concussions from her seizures but also a few from me if I'm being honest I went to the neurologist with her because of the concussions she got from the seizures but to later give her one I was disgusted with myself but she couldn't work anymore so I looked for job i couldn't find anything so I worked for the apartments under the table but that dried up I found something else it dried up too I kept looking but it was useless I had to move back in with my parents with my ex and our first born they had a 3 bedroom and we paid them well she did I eventually got on SSI because of the physical pain from my mother's abuse bipolar disorder depression and PTSD I already went to get help when my ex was pregnant because I wanted to know why I was doing what I was doing my parents wanted me to get a check so they sent me to the counselor but I wanted to get help with my relationship and being honest helped me get my diagnosis but I lost that counselor like I lost every counselor I ever actually felt i could actually open up to anyway we are in my parents house and my mom is a big trigger for me we were paying rent and she accused us of stealing even coming in our room uninvited by then she was pregnant with our youngest and I wasnt perfect then either I was still struggling with my PTSD I did for years I pushed her in the closet and told her she couldn't leave my mom was there watching a constant trigger I snapped out of it but things got bad between my ex and my mom and they started to fight each other never physical but verbal and after she had the baby she almost died she lost a lot of blood I didn't know if I could trust my mom with the baby so I didn't go I still regret that decision but when she came back we waited for a few more and I used my back pay to get her a car and to get out of my mom's house our oldest has high spectrum autism and is really smart and talkative but after that short time living with my parents she developed selective mutism and we had to take her to speach therapy so we put up with roaches for 15 months just to get away from my mom and at the new place she got her lick back she was trying to beat on me and she was trying to stab me from time to time i had a PTSD attack and it would be back and forth but to be honest this started a new problem i was young and I used to flirt i kissed a girl once when we first started dating it was an ex she also slept with her ex best friend before I got locked up again just background truth is i was a flirt for a few years I was young and still searching for the approval i never got from my mom in other women I'm not proud of it though I was talking to women on Craigslist friends only and casual encounters sadly I wasn't trying to cheat i wanted someone i didn't know to talk to about my problem I stopped talking to all my female friends and she stopped talking to her male friends at each other's requests because of the cheating and I stopped talking to anyone that would be around a lot of women and all my other friends were either too gangster to listen or already in happy situations so I wanted to talk to a stranger that was a woman for advice I don't know what it is but women give better advice so I foolishly went to Craigslist and got caught but I ended up actually cheating months later with an ex that I thought I could be friends with but she was my first love and I told her some of what I was going through and we ended up having sex I was feeling guilty and took forever to get hard she had an IUD it was horrible tbh and on top of that she tried to 3 way my ex just to get me to admit it was her after my ex called her and acted like she wasn't the one i cheated with the whole time she tried to ruin my relationship after that after a year of trying and going to specialist my ex got her own SSI check and we got out of our roach infested apartment things were ok I had been trying to work on my triggers and had way less PTSD attacks and things were better for a few years she had a problem with me liking pictures on Instagram and I admit I hate being told what to do especially when I feel I'm doing nothing wrong and I was liking everything not just girls and I never commented anything but where did you get that shirt my girl would love that or happy birthday or thank you and I never slid in dms none of that I just liked pictures and I worked on it eventually because it was the only thing we argued about after a while but then everything changed we got into a big fight and I called her a name she ran at me got on the bed and punched me in the jaw so hard like I'm pretty tough I been hit in the face with a bat and when I tell you she hit me she hit me and when she went to hit me again I just reacted I flipped her then I blacked out I woke up and my hands were wrapped around her neck I snapped out of it and my parents took her to the hospital another thing I never learned to drive my step dad the man I call dad is a good man and a hard worker but he was a drug addict and a thug who was a alcoholic so he never had a license my whole life and my mom was to selfish to teach me I was always to poor for lessons my girl is the best driver I know but never taught me because she would say things like I'll be cheating as soon as I learn to drive so I never learned I regret that too anyway they took her to the doctor and she tore her hamstring I tried to take care of her but she wasn't having it she didn't stay rested she stayed on her feet one time she even punched me when I tried to help we were still in love but it was dying we eventually made up but every year after that she was telling me she needed help telling me she was falling out of love she asked me to help around the house I was lazy at the beginning of our relationship and I got used to her cleaning but by the time we got out of the roaches my depression got so much worse I was trying to get help until COVID kept losing counselors to the point I stopped telling them about my whole life and I started skipping straight to me and my ex I wanted help I was tired of hurting the woman I love but something else happened we got into an argument and I said something slick and she tried to stab me I evaded her and calmed her down but the argument went into the next day I locked myself in the bathroom and she tried to break the door down we had a sword in the bathroom for security and I threatened to stab her with it she had a panic attack and called the police I got a misdemeanor harassment charge but I never got mad I worked on myself I didn't want us to argue like that anymore I got out of jail and I was ordered to go to anger management I wish they made me go the very first time but when I went I embraced it and used it to help me with my triggers and that helped not only with my PTSD but with my fight or flight response as well after I got out I came clean about everything and even about the ex I cheated with man she beat me in the head so bad I got multiple concussions but I wasn't mad I actually felt good because I didn't black out I was doing it i was working on my triggers but we kept arguing and every year she told me that she still loves me and wants to make it work but she's losing interest and I told her I'd change and I wanted to but i couldn't my parents didn't take much medicine my mom took Wellbutrin and other things but they made her sleep all day she was dead to the world and I took paxil and Adderall as a kid and I felt like a zombie not to mention my dad was afraid of pills and side effects so I was afraid to take medicine but I needed it my depression was so far gone that I stopped feeling empathy I was empty and I let my guilt and regret and hatred of myself lead to more depression I'm a good singer and rapper I stopped doing music I blamed her but it was depression she suffers from cyclic vomiting syndrome and I just sat on my ass when she got sick I didn't help I wasn't doing dishes but I couldn't even wake up and take a shower or brush my teeth it was horrible I didn't love myself and I was angry at the world and I took it out on her I felt useless so when we argued about me not helping I called her useless everything I felt about me I projected onto her I was numb and I think she was too then I got on tiktok and found something I was good at again I got a lot of followers very quick but that one ex that I cheated with came back and this time It was innocent but my ex told me any interaction with her and it's over but she had a large following and I was trying to get paid but my ex found out and like an idiot I was trying to not delete or block her because im a man and I'm trying to get ahead you aren't a man you can't even help the woman you love you idiot then she kept telling me she was done but we dragged it on because we loved each other by December 2023 we were done but we were still acting like a couple I was in denial thinking we were fixing it because before my birthday at the beginning of 2022 I was diagnosed with high blood pressure I decided to have 1 last year of holiday food and going out to eat and we started working out 2023 and I have lost 108 lbs with her help and her love and support we started a diet and worked out in the house 5 days a week she saved my life once again of course I was in denial of course I was trying to work it out but those last few months were crazy that last year was crazy in 2022 she got into a car accident and she was sore for a while but she found out that she actually broke her rib and healed it messed up and never knew so she got into working out to lose weight and we started our diet in 2023 but in 2022 I found Kevin Samuels and all that alpha male red pill male chauvinist poison it was bull shit I was insecure trying to convince myself that the most feminine beautiful woman I know is some how masculine and modern wtf is modern i wasn't true masculine I wasn't high value i was a loser that couldn't get off my ass for the woman I love and those ideas are disgusting even if you have money you shouldn't be allowed to cheat that's crazy I would just spew that horse shit when we argued she told me thats what really started pulling her away every time she argued that she needed help I started to act like it wasn't my place and that if I had a job I wouldnt have to clean but the truth is I got anxiety every time I saw those dishes piled up I felt like my chest was caving in same with laundry or any chores working out forced me to shower every day but I still made excuses not to shower we did 15-30 minute workouts if I had to go to the gym I might have died from getting fatter I lost my motivation and looking back I should have taken meds but I told y'all how my parents looked at medicine and my experience not to mention my girl trying to fix stomach problems and sleep problems literally experienced so many side effects I was just afraid to take the medicine but I wish I did because I would have saved my relationship neither one of us takes depression meds I looked for work but I don't even have a GED if you want that story I'll save it for the comments btw I forgot to say our child also gets a check so together we make enough money to live we just struggle for some wants everyone has clothes but there's not always a lot of money to shop for every one so we rotate between buying things for them and us through the months we even had to pay rent in two different places at the end of our lease and we made it happen off our checks and donating plasma we paid 2700 between two places with teamwork and sacrifice but like I said we broke up December 2023 we broke up and I was in denial and thought we were working out we were losing weight together going out doing couple things still having amazing sex it was always mutually great i was big on massages and running baths i was a great gift giver but I didn't lift a finger she was sick and all I did was roll a blunt and run a bath I was letting fruit flies fly around the house we were going out to eat spending money we didn't have to go out to eat that's why I gained all that weight in the first place I don't understand I love her and my kids with all my heart I never thought she would never leave me I was afraid she would leave but I just let it happen she is the love of my life afraid or not I should have taken the pills but that too gave me so much anxiety but I should have risked side effects feeling like a zombie sleeping all day anything is better than this because if I took the medicine we might still be together and since she was able to get past her depression and she feels like she was forced to get out of her depression because she was a mom she hates me she comes from a vacationing family I couldn't give them a lot of that but we still go camping and go out of town sometimes we have a car that's almost paid off but we are 32 and she has nothing to show for being with me but a car an apartment and no savings and if I loved her i would have tried harder but I couldn't i was paralyzed by depression and anxiety she doesn't believe me because she overcame her depression and anxiety we moved in our new place and I was planning on ending my life God spoke to me for the first time and my ex always wanted me to find God but my mom was gullible when it came to scamming preachers and she wasted so much of our money on books and prayer cloths that I went away from my faith for years so finding God was weird but I was accepting of his love he told me to fight for my family and that the path might be long but I can get my family back if im reborn and I make the promises I couldn't keep all of a sudden im reading the Bible every day cooking every day cleaning every day even looking for a job everyday but she says it's too late we sleep in the bed together so I don't have to sleep on the couch we slept together like twice but it didn't mean anything she wouldn't even kiss me and she cut me off we always promised we would at least have a sexual friendship relationship but i think i messed it up i just want to make it work i even told her she could have 2 boyfriends so I can work on being who she needs and have some one to help her with everything else until I can show I can be her problem solver she says it's over but we were in love for 14 years we were in love 6 months ago but in March I made a joke that killed us she was listening to a song called john redcorn and we got to arguing and I said that's some John redcorn shit she thought I meant my daughter our youngest and after what I put her through when she was pregnant she couldn't do it and like an idiot I doubled down and she thought i was saying our youngest wasn't mine it was horrible I told my kids everything they are 10 and 12 they lost hope in our relationship for a while but they want me back with they're mom I know I have to stay this man for the rest of my life if I want to get her back i have to work on communication and keep a job im even going back to counseling but she thinks I never loved her because I let it get this far what do I do?

Hey everyone, my wife left our son and I just last night and this is the fourth time within the last 2 years (we've been married for 6 years). I don't really know where to begin but I guess I'll start from the beginning of when the issues started.
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About 2 years ago my wife started to change, it was very subtle but she began to cut off people, including her own mother and siblings. She started to claim she was an independent woman and didn't need anyone as she began hanging out with her co-worker (female) often and showing up at home 5-6 hours after work (usually drunk). After I confronted her about not being there and causing me to do all of the housework after I got off of work she got defensive and left to stay the night at her co-workers house and showed back up two days later without even saying sorry.
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On the second occurrence she just randomly started bringing up the past while we were talking about how life was going well and we could pay off our mortgage loan in two years. She started to break down out of nowhere and brought up her past and how she was raped at 13 years-old by her guidance councilor, how her mother and siblings abused her, and how she had nobody. I comforted her and she pushed me away and no matter what I said to calm things down she twisted everything I said to make it sound like I was attacking her. She then stormed off without even wearing shoes, or grabbing her phone and went to the ER at midnight. She came back three days later after staying at an old friends.
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Afterwards she started counselling and got on medications and was diagnosed with CPTSD and bipolar depression.
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On the third occurrence it was Christmas Eve and everything was going well (or so I thought) as it had been 5 months since her last episode and again, out of NOWHERE she started bringing up her past and said some awful things. She told me that she was a horrible wife and mother and that she was broken and not good enough to be with anyone. She went off on my mother who was present and when my mother asked what was going on my wife pushed her to the ground and stormed out the back door and ended up going to the ER again and was committed to a mental health center where she spent 5 days. She came back home afterwards and things went well for quite a while, until yesterday.
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On this latest occurrence she came home drunk as hell (she rarely drinks) and was straight-up looking for a fight with me, she baited me into getting mad at her by verbally attacking me and twisted everything I said negatively and when she couldn't do that she just cried while telling me she was worthless and in all honesty, she had her mind set on leaving no matter what I did. She ended up leaving again to go to the ER and was committed yet again for about a week and when I called her after 3 days she said she was doing well and couldn't wait to come home and things seemed to be doing better.
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Fast forward two days after she got out and she left AGAIN and blocked my number despite me doing nothing wrong and trying to be supportive.
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I am not perfect by any means, I am too down to earth and lack ambition I guess you could say. I'm content with just being financially stable and providing a decent life for us and our son but my wife has always had very lofty goals. She wants to move to a different state and cut off everyone and has her mind set on acquiring a house well beyond our means and has hinted that she would go there on her own and leave our son and I behind if need be and that she didn't need us and could get whatever she wanted on her own.
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The thing is, when I met my wife she was homeless and did ANYTHING it took to get by and hung around a lot of unsavory types because she just didn't care and lived day to day not caring what happened. She broke free from that life when she met me and was doing well for years until for some reason her past caught up to her. I blame a lot of what has happened on her getting back in contact with her old best friend who is heavily into meth who used to also be her old FWB. He is homeless and gets by through robbery and stealing and has been in jail a few times.
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I feel like maybe I'm not street smart enough for my wife, there are many times where she tried to convince me to steal items or even hit her and I feel like I wasn't abusive enough for her to be happy (it doesn't make sense to me but that's all I can come up with). I feel like my wife enjoys the struggle of losing control while high, not knowing where she will sleep, not knowing where her next meal will come from, and in all honesty she has never cared about our son.
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There are times when she'd just bend over naked in front of our son and ask me to have sex with her then and there for instance.
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I have truly wanted this marriage to work but I feel like it's just pointless even bothering anymore. The first three times I was heartbroken but this time I just feel indifferent honestly. To the point that I feel so disillusioned that I could literally divorce her tommorow and get into a new relationship with somebody who is the polar opposite of my wife and not even miss a step or look back whatsoever.
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When my wife introduced me to her mother early on in our relationship (before we got married obviously) her mother pulled me to the side and warned me that her daughter was a severe hypochondriac, I ignored it at the time but as each day passed I feel like this was the truth. There were many times when my wife was just experiencing a cold or was on her period and would whine constantly until I took her to the ER where we got nothing but a bill.
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I can honestly say that my wife has been to the ER at least a dozen times in just the past two years and we've accumulated a lot of debt due to this which has led to getting loans and taking out more loans to pay off loans in an endless cycle where we went from financially secure to living paycheck to paycheck at best.
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I'm not trying to sound insensitive by any means, I am just calling it as I see it and I feel like I was abused but worse yet... that our son was abused due to having to go through all of this and witness his mother in states he should never have to witness.
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I guess that about covers things though, I would like to say I'm hurt over all of this but I'm not whatsoever. All of my sympathy/empathy for her ended after what I've been through while being with her. The sad thing is that without my wifes income and the amount of debt I now have there is no possible way that I can afford the house so I'm either moving back in with my parents or going to be homeless, at 34 years-old.... yeah...
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If anything I'm just angry because I did everything right and it didn't matter because I never had a say in anything despite paying most of the bills, preparing 99% of meals, cleaning the house 99% of the time, taking our son to school 99% of the time, and pulling 99% of the weight in the relationship overall. All my wife ever did for me was provide sex often and spontaneously and when it comes to our son... she gave birth to him?
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At least when my time comes decades from now I can die knowing I tried my best and I was a DAMN good father, better than even my own father who was excellent and raised my brother and I the best he could manage.
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I honestly pity my wife because she is incapable of knowing love and just fakes it to make it when it comes to everything. I get that her past was rough but I feel as though she blew everything out of proportion and from her stories she told me through the years, she always had a thing for older guys and was masturbating multiple times a day from a young age and called me "daddy" during sex so I honestly just don't know what to believe anymore when it comes to her.
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I know that she isn't genuine when it comes to a lot of things and fabricates issues and has a kink for abuse and enjoys suffering, none of which I understood as it was irrational to me but I played along just to placate her.
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Sorry, I guess I am rambling at his point but I had to get all of that off of my chest before the shellshock wears off. Thank you all for your time and I appreciate any replies that bear fruit because this basket is empty right now and I can't tell apples from oranges because I don't have any.

Ok this is going to be a long one but this is my first ever post about my life this is a burner account. My girlfriend of 14 years broke up with me a few months ago and we still live together we broke up because I let myself get too far gone I suffer from depression and anxiety as well as PTSD from having an abusive schizophrenic mother who's a narcissist I also got into gangs when I was young to give you some background anyway our problems started almost a year into our relationship i didn't know i had PTSD yet but I got into fights with friends and even my dad a man I respect and am closer to than anyone other than my ex and my kids anyway I always had fits and one day she tried to hit me and I smacked her hand to the table she fractured her arm and I took her to the hospital she panicked and made up something about being jumped and the cops came and I think she told them I was the cause after a while but renigged her statement later they interrogated me for hours at the station I knew not to tell the police the truth is I felt bad I felt guilty I loved her so I told the truth we both missed each other and she lived with me and my parents we rented an apartment from my dad and him and my mom lived in another at the time we had a no contact order but she got on the phone when I called my parents and pretended to be someone else and we talked and they brought it up in court I ended up having to take a dv charge I was set to win the case but they used the phone calls against us and threatened charges on her and my parents if i didn't plead guilty so I pleaded guilty and when I got out she got pregnant she was working a good job at the time but she got into a car accident she already took a pregnancy test so we knew she was pregnant and I was happy I knew she would make a good mother and I knew i wanted her to be the mother of my children and my forever since the day we met we had already had a miscarriage and she had a whole in her heart from a child that she took care of in her past relationship she was a runaway and had past trauma of her own her mother was abusive as well and every boyfriend she ever had abused her I was supposed to be different I didn't know I was so broken if I knew I had PTSD I would have left her alone but we fell in love deeply I want to say nothing happened when she was pregnant but it did we got into a bad argument and I kicked the basinet and it hit her in the stomach immediately snapped out of it after that nothing else happened until the baby was born our child was born 3 weeks premature and was my pride and joy still is my ex had postpartum so I spent a lot of time with the baby and because of the accident my ex was passing out and having seizures which later we found out were psudo seizures but they felt real and sometimes she passed out or had a seizure and woke up not knowing where she was who she was who I was but she said my voice calmed her down and I was always able to bring her back to reality she got a few concussions from her seizures but also a few from me if I'm being honest I went to the neurologist with her because of the concussions she got from the seizures but to later give her one I was disgusted with myself but she couldn't work anymore so I looked for job i couldn't find anything so I worked for the apartments under the table but that dried up I found something else it dried up too I kept looking but it was useless I had to move back in with my parents with my ex and our first born they had a 3 bedroom and we paid them well she did I eventually got on SSI because of the physical pain from my mother's abuse bipolar disorder depression and PTSD I already went to get help when my ex was pregnant because I wanted to know why I was doing what I was doing my parents wanted me to get a check so they sent me to the counselor but I wanted to get help with my relationship and being honest helped me get my diagnosis but I lost that counselor like I lost every counselor I ever actually felt i could actually open up to anyway we are in my parents house and my mom is a big trigger for me we were paying rent and she accused us of stealing even coming in our room uninvited by then she was pregnant with our youngest and I wasnt perfect then either I was still struggling with my PTSD I did for years I pushed her in the closet and told her she couldn't leave my mom was there watching a constant trigger I snapped out of it but things got bad between my ex and my mom and they started to fight each other never physical but verbal and after she had the baby she almost died she lost a lot of blood I didn't know if I could trust my mom with the baby so I didn't go I still regret that decision but when she came back we waited for a few more and I used my back pay to get her a car and to get out of my mom's house our oldest has high spectrum autism and is really smart and talkative but after that short time living with my parents she developed selective mutism and we had to take her to speach therapy so we put up with roaches for 15 months just to get away from my mom and at the new place she got her lick back she was trying to beat on me and she was trying to stab me from time to time i had a PTSD attack and it would be back and forth but to be honest this started a new problem i was young and I used to flirt i kissed a girl once when we first started dating it was an ex she also slept with her ex best friend before I got locked up again just background truth is i was a flirt for a few years I was young and still searching for the approval i never got from my mom in other women I'm not proud of it though I was talking to women on Craigslist friends only and casual encounters sadly I wasn't trying to cheat i wanted someone i didn't know to talk to about my problem I stopped talking to all my female friends and she stopped talking to her male friends at each other's requests because of the cheating and I stopped talking to anyone that would be around a lot of women and all my other friends were either too gangster to listen or already in happy situations so I wanted to talk to a stranger that was a woman for advice I don't know what it is but women give better advice so I foolishly went to Craigslist and got caught but I ended up actually cheating months later with an ex that I thought I could be friends with but she was my first love and I told her some of what I was going through and we ended up having sex I was feeling guilty and took forever to get hard she had an IUD it was horrible tbh and on top of that she tried to 3 way my ex just to get me to admit it was her after my ex called her and acted like she wasn't the one i cheated with the whole time she tried to ruin my relationship after that after a year of trying and going to specialist my ex got her own SSI check and we got out of our roach infested apartment things were ok I had been trying to work on my triggers and had way less PTSD attacks and things were better for a few years she had a problem with me liking pictures on Instagram and I admit I hate being told what to do especially when I feel I'm doing nothing wrong and I was liking everything not just girls and I never commented anything but where did you get that shirt my girl would love that or happy birthday or thank you and I never slid in dms none of that I just liked pictures and I worked on it eventually because it was the only thing we argued about after a while but then everything changed we got into a big fight and I called her a name she ran at me got on the bed and punched me in the jaw so hard like I'm pretty tough I been hit in the face with a bat and when I tell you she hit me she hit me and when she went to hit me again I just reacted I flipped her then I blacked out I woke up and my hands were wrapped around her neck I snapped out of it and my parents took her to the hospital another thing I never learned to drive my step dad the man I call dad is a good man and a hard worker but he was a drug addict and a thug who was a alcoholic so he never had a license my whole life and my mom was to selfish to teach me I was always to poor for lessons my girl is the best driver I know but never taught me because she would say things like I'll be cheating as soon as I learn to drive so I never learned I regret that too anyway they took her to the doctor and she tore her hamstring I tried to take care of her but she wasn't having it she didn't stay rested she stayed on her feet one time she even punched me when I tried to help we were still in love but it was dying we eventually made up but every year after that she was telling me she needed help telling me she was falling out of love she asked me to help around the house I was lazy at the beginning of our relationship and I got used to her cleaning but by the time we got out of the roaches my depression got so much worse I was trying to get help until COVID kept losing counselors to the point I stopped telling them about my whole life and I started skipping straight to me and my ex I wanted help I was tired of hurting the woman I love but something else happened we got into an argument and I said something slick and she tried to stab me I evaded her and calmed her down but the argument went into the next day I locked myself in the bathroom and she tried to break the door down we had a sword in the bathroom for security and I threatened to stab her with it she had a panic attack and called the police I got a misdemeanor harassment charge but I never got mad I worked on myself I didn't want us to argue like that anymore I got out of jail and I was ordered to go to anger management I wish they made me go the very first time but when I went I embraced it and used it to help me with my triggers and that helped not only with my PTSD but with my fight or flight response as well after I got out I came clean about everything and even about the ex I cheated with man she beat me in the head so bad I got multiple concussions but I wasn't mad I actually felt good because I didn't black out I was doing it i was working on my triggers but we kept arguing and every year she told me that she still loves me and wants to make it work but she's losing interest and I told her I'd change and I wanted to but i couldn't my parents didn't take much medicine my mom took Wellbutrin and other things but they made her sleep all day she was dead to the world and I took paxil and Adderall as a kid and I felt like a zombie not to mention my dad was afraid of pills and side effects so I was afraid to take medicine but I needed it my depression was so far gone that I stopped feeling empathy I was empty and I let my guilt and regret and hatred of myself lead to more depression I'm a good singer and rapper I stopped doing music I blamed her but it was depression she suffers from cyclic vomiting syndrome and I just sat on my ass when she got sick I didn't help I wasn't doing dishes but I couldn't even wake up and take a shower or brush my teeth it was horrible I didn't love myself and I was angry at the world and I took it out on her I felt useless so when we argued about me not helping I called her useless everything I felt about me I projected onto her I was numb and I think she was too then I got on tiktok and found something I was good at again I got a lot of followers very quick but that one ex that I cheated with came back and this time It was innocent but my ex told me any interaction with her and it's over but she had a large following and I was trying to get paid but my ex found out and like an idiot I was trying to not delete or block her because im a man and I'm trying to get ahead you aren't a man you can't even help the woman you love you idiot then she kept telling me she was done but we dragged it on because we loved each other by December 2023 we were done but we were still acting like a couple I was in denial thinking we were fixing it because before my birthday at the beginning of 2022 I was diagnosed with high blood pressure I decided to have 1 last year of holiday food and going out to eat and we started working out 2023 and I have lost 108 lbs with her help and her love and support we started a diet and worked out in the house 5 days a week she saved my life once again of course I was in denial of course I was trying to work it out but those last few months were crazy that last year was crazy in 2022 she got into a car accident and she was sore for a while but she found out that she actually broke her rib and healed it messed up and never knew so she got into working out to lose weight and we started our diet in 2023 but in 2022 I found Kevin Samuels and all that alpha male red pill male chauvinist poison it was bull shit I was insecure trying to convince myself that the most feminine beautiful woman I know is some how masculine and modern wtf is modern i wasn't true masculine I wasn't high value i was a loser that couldn't get off my ass for the woman I love and those ideas are disgusting even if you have money you shouldn't be allowed to cheat that's crazy I would just spew that horse shit when we argued she told me thats what really started pulling her away every time she argued that she needed help I started to act like it wasn't my place and that if I had a job I wouldnt have to clean but the truth is I got anxiety every time I saw those dishes piled up I felt like my chest was caving in same with laundry or any chores working out forced me to shower every day but I still made excuses not to shower we did 15-30 minute workouts if I had to go to the gym I might have died from getting fatter I lost my motivation and looking back I should have taken meds but I told y'all how my parents looked at medicine and my experience not to mention my girl trying to fix stomach problems and sleep problems literally experienced so many side effects I was just afraid to take the medicine but I wish I did because I would have saved my relationship neither one of us takes depression meds I looked for work but I don't even have a GED if you want that story I'll save it for the comments btw I forgot to say our child also gets a check so together we make enough money to live we just struggle for some wants everyone has clothes but there's not always a lot of money to shop for every one so we rotate between buying things for them and us through the months we even had to pay rent in two different places at the end of our lease and we made it happen off our checks and donating plasma we paid 2700 between two places with teamwork and sacrifice but like I said we broke up December 2023 we broke up and I was in denial and thought we were working out we were losing weight together going out doing couple things still having amazing sex it was always mutually great i was big on massages and running baths i was a great gift giver but I didn't lift a finger she was sick and all I did was roll a blunt and run a bath I was letting fruit flies fly around the house we were going out to eat spending money we didn't have to go out to eat that's why I gained all that weight in the first place I don't understand I love her and my kids with all my heart I never thought she would never leave me I was afraid she would leave but I just let it happen she is the love of my life afraid or not I should have taken the pills but that too gave me so much anxiety but I should have risked side effects feeling like a zombie sleeping all day anything is better than this because if I took the medicine we might still be together and since she was able to get past her depression and she feels like she was forced to get out of her depression because she was a mom she hates me she comes from a vacationing family I couldn't give them a lot of that but we still go camping and go out of town sometimes we have a car that's almost paid off but we are 32 and she has nothing to show for being with me but a car an apartment and no savings and if I loved her i would have tried harder but I couldn't i was paralyzed by depression and anxiety she doesn't believe me because she overcame her depression and anxiety we moved in our new place and I was planning on ending my life God spoke to me for the first time and my ex always wanted me to find God but my mom was gullible when it came to scamming preachers and she wasted so much of our money on books and prayer cloths that I went away from my faith for years so finding God was weird but I was accepting of his love he told me to fight for my family and that the path might be long but I can get my family back if im reborn and I make the promises I couldn't keep all of a sudden im reading the Bible every day cooking every day cleaning every day even looking for a job everyday but she says it's too late we sleep in the bed together so I don't have to sleep on the couch we slept together like twice but it didn't mean anything she wouldn't even kiss me and she cut me off we always promised we would at least have a sexual friendship relationship but i think i messed it up i just want to make it work i even told her she could have 2 boyfriends so I can work on being who she needs and have some one to help her with everything else until I can show I can be her problem solver she says it's over but we were in love for 14 years we were in love 6 months ago but in March I made a joke that killed us she was listening to a song called john redcorn and we got to arguing and I said that's some John redcorn shit she thought I meant my daughter our youngest and after what I put her through when she was pregnant she couldn't do it and like an idiot I doubled down and she thought i was saying our youngest wasn't mine it was horrible I told my kids everything they are 10 and 12 they lost hope in our relationship for a while but they want me back with they're mom I know I have to stay this man for the rest of my life if I want to get her back i have to work on communication and keep a job im even going back to counseling but she thinks I never loved her because I let it get this far what do I do?

In the very heart of bible country, nearly the buckle of the belt, is the state of Oklahoma. It was October in Oklahoma, leaves were changing color, and the heat was gone. The fall hunting season was already on its way to another good year turnout of hunters for Oklahoma.
The Oklahoma City Walmart was stocked to the brim with Halloween candy, costumes, and color hair spray as far as the eye could see. And there were always many little eyes alight with delight as Halloween was known as the signal for the “holidays”.
Children dream. The possibility of becoming a ninja, superhero, Greek goddess, or even the main villain out of that summer movie, the one that everyone had to see. You know that villain.
These Children were easily found anywhere costumes were to be had. It was nothing to see a little head bob up over the isle of half shelf, the ones that ran for acres. And in a very juvenile voice, one could hear the pleading, “Please, please mommy.” Spooky sounds playing over the k-mart speaker system. As costumes were picked out with love and a small giggle of fun. A giggle of fun Michael Rhodes would no longer be able to share with his children.
In September of 2012, Brittany Dillard, one of the seven nieces and nephews staying with Michael Rhodes, when Britanny was asked to leave. Her behavior had gotten out of control and the Rhodes’s felt she was being irresponsible to her baby, by dating a gang member, especially sense he was a Crip and she was not. Some of her other behavior had been less than lady like behavior outside the home.
Brittany felt she was the victim of this, and she hadn’t been given a chance to explain how things really were. But her auntie and uncle were not here foolishness. Both parties were very head strong. Maybe because they were related.
Michael Rhodes was a family man. The beautiful wife and four kids plus the seven nieces and nephews meant stretching the budget to make it all work. Sometimes there was a stretching of the patience too thin, a consequence, Ms. Dillard discovered.
Michael Rhodes was a family man, with a teddy bear heart when it came to his wife, four kids and 7 nieces and nephews. He didn’t tolerate any foolishness either, didn’t do anyone any good. His nieces and nephews had been the victim of a different crime altogether.
Having just been received back from the Watchful Eyes of DHS, they were just getting settled back into some kind of home life. With the “holidays” fast approaching, they were excited the costumes were out in the stores.
A phone call, to Brittany Dillard, one of the 7 Rhodes had taken in, would start the evening of October 19, 2012, and shattered lives.
On the late evening of Oct. 19. Driving into the neighborhood, members Dulxw women, a small group of the gang known as 107^th Hoover Rolling Crips stop and get out of the car. Within just a few minutes, they had fired a weapon, slashed the tire of the family car, and threw rocks breaking two windows. No one was home at the time, much to the ire of the entire group. Then they left, they would go to call Fuston. Even though he rolled out of Enid, they were able to get him to Oklahoma City.
Brian Bulter went to Pennon’ s house before the incident took place. Bulter had ridden with Howard. Bulter had agreed to “rob some Mexicans”, but then he got to help kill an innocent person and nearly his daughter.
The police were called and there was a small investigation conducted. Without any evidence, there was not much that could be done.
For the safety of the children, Rhodes had the children picked up. Brittany was asked to leave as well. This was concerning the drama she had brought upon their household.
Brittany called and went to stay with Mrs. O’Neal, the maternal grandmother of Brittany’s baby.
On the evening of the Oct. 20t, Mrs. Rhodes had spent all day getting harassing phone calls from the women of Dulxw. Mrs. Rhodes repeatedly told them; Brittany was not there. The land line just rang with call all from these women. After it seemed to finally die down, Mrs. Rhodes and her daughter left the house to go to dinner. They wouldn’t even reach the place they were headed out the next evening with her friends to get a little rest from the ongoing drama dropped at her doorstep. She left her youngest daughter and her 19-year-old son, Jalan at home with their father.
That night late on the evening of the 20^th, Fuston and his crew rolled up on Rhodes’s house in two cars. Ronnie Fuston was impulsive, angry, and looking for another chance to kill. This Dillard woman fit the bill no matter what, but they all had to die, according to Fuston.
Ronnie Fuston, Terral Howard, butler, pennon, and Jordan crept up in the thick darkness. Anothy brown JR was told to remain in the car, according to court documents. The darkness of the neighborhood added to their stealth. The car had not had its tires replaced and thus sat in the driveway for them to hide from line of sight of the front door. It would only take a second for Fuston’s hot raging impulses to kick in. He ran for the door at a full barrel roar. With the other in tow, he kicked in the front door to find Rhodes on the couch half asleep with Rhodes three-year-old on his chest. The first hit was in the shoulder of Rhodes, the blood spattered on his toddler. The noise and the blood woke her, Rhodes dropping her on the couch behind him in protection. She screamed and cried, covering her ears.
Rhodes never had a chance to react as two more bullets struck him. Everyone else had fired wildly hitting nothing. They didn’t search the house, had they, they would have found Rhodes’ 19-year-old son, Jalan.
They ran out leaving the door wide open. Hearing the shots, neighbors were stepping out to see what happened, one neighbor would see Fuston speed away. She would later tell the police she saw it only leaving and didn’t have anything else.
Having heard the gunshots, Jalan had been playing video games in his room. He ran into the living room. Jalan found the door open and that his dad was on the floor up against the couch. He helps sit his father up and called 911. As he did, he snatched up his little sister.
Jalan tried to wipe some of the blood from face as he held his phone with his free hand. He had sat her on the edge of the couch so he could see both her and his father.
Rhodes was holding his son’s hand as he lay there and bled out. His eyes went dark as Jalan didn’t know if and how to do CPR. For Christ’s sake, he was just a kid!
When the police arrived at the scene, Mr. Rhodes was deceased. He was taken by ambulance to the hospital where he was officially pronounced. His wife and children were thrown into the middle of chaos and Mrs. Rhodes blamed Brittany for her bad choices and what she had done to bring this tragedy down on them.
This is not where this story ends. Things would take the road not taken with full knowledge of the consequences
The police would question every family member to see what they could learn. They even decided to question the three-year-old daughter. All she could tell them was, “monsters hurt my daddy.” This broke a lot of hearts. This child was fatherless, and the worst part, she was in his ears when Mr. Rhodes was murdered. When she was questioned, she was still wearing her father’s blood.
Jalan hadn’t seen the actual incident. This made his mother very thankful, and she praised God. She would praise him for saving her son and daughter again when hearing in court that Fuston wanted them all dead.
Fuston drove back to Enid with Butler, there would be no victory had in the split between Brittany and Dulxw Women. During the drive Fuston changed his cell phone number. Now did he change it to run from the murder or run from the girls, after a botched hit. It was time to cool his heels for a bit.
Butler told him on the ride back this murder was going to come back to haunt him. Fuston just shrugged it off. Either way, Fuston had the confidence of a gambling addict as he told butler confidently, that girl won’t testify.
For about a month, there was nothing in the investigation. But it had not grown cold.
Minor thefts and other minor offenses had been occurred. Nothing to really raise an alarm. Just the way it was designed to be by this “Lil’ thug that couldn’t.”
One night in December, thinking his murder of Rhodes was over for him, he continued his thug life just the way he liked it. After all, it was Oklahoma City, there are NY style clubs and women.
In 2012, Trelon Haley, Anthony Brown, Donta Young, and Ivan Williamson were all friends. They spent a great deal of time hanging out in “the Ville.” And often were found at the Martson Sisters or Judd Julian. When not there, they could be found at a vacant lot near Fuston’s mother’s old home.
This vacant lot was one of the places used to keep a cache of weapons. This was the place they stowed.
In October, around the time of the Rhodes murder, Fuston found himself at his cousin’s house, Judd Julian, where Fuston was using Judd’s computer to surf Facebook. Fuston found a picture of someone named “Marciano,” with a wad of cash in his gob.
He told Judd that he was going to “hit a lick” which meant he wanted to go kill someone. Judd didn’t take him seriously at the time.
On the evening of December 22^nd, 2012, Fuston decided he was going to get that money from “Marciano”. Fuston load Haley, young, brown, into the car. Haley drover. Fuston was sitting in the passenger seat, leaving the other two in the back. Fuston gave directions to Haley, he drove.
The location that Fuston directed Haley to, was a trailer home.
The four crept up, the darkness of the trailer court holding their shadows in secret. Haley was on one side of the door, brown and young on the other. When Fuston knocked, he used his best Hispanic voice and called out to behind the door.
Crites was home sick for work today and was certainly home when his unwelcome guests arrived. Crites opened the door, when he saw who it was, he tried to close it. Fuston’s name and face were all over the news, and not to mention they all lived in Enid together. Fuston prevented him from closing the door by placing his arm in between the door and the facing.
Fuston fired his gun into the trailer house. Crites had been hit with such a wild shot, that luck was not on his side, and Fuston shoved his way in, taking his cohorts with him. Crites was hit in the shoulder. When Brown and Young entered the trailer, Crites was holding his left shoulder with his right hand. Both walked past the scene and moved to toss the bedrooms.
Crites swore he had nothing. Angry, Fuston yelled at him and shoved him on his back. Fuston had taken the stance, rigidly over Crites in a fashion one might find a police officer standing over a suspected and again he screamed at Crites. “where’s the stuff? Where’s the money?”
Crites held his palm up to prove he wasn’t a threat. All Crites could do was think about his loving wife, Kelly Churchill. He loved her so much and was hoping, praying in his head they would just leave. “I don’t have anything, please don’t hurt met.”
Moments later, while searching for the bedrooms for drugs, and money, Young would hear shots ring out, as he later testified. Young left the residence after finding nothing in the bedrooms and heard one or two more gunshots.
They were all back at the car and moved out of there quickly. Haley was driving. The shots woke neighbors and at least one resident was able to make out the car as it sped away.
The ride back quiet, when the events just happened were brought up, Fuston said, “it was self-explanartory.”
Fuston couldn’t help himself not long after the murder of Rhodes was already bragging about it with the pride of a newborn’s father. Later when Crites was killed again with the chest thumping. This would not be his downfall, come on, it’s Oklahoma we all gossip.
Between 1:30 and 2:00 am, Churchill could not reach Crites by phone. He was late picking her up from work. Churchill caught a right home with two co-workers. She was taken to a house with all the lights on and the front door was standing wide open. Churchill ran up to the trailer home and walked inside. She found Crites lying in the middle of his own blood. Churchill called Crites’ boss then 911.
Sgt. Nick John with the Enid police department received the call around 2:18 AM. He was called to the residence of Crites regarding a homicide at his address. When Sgt. John arrived at the scene, Churchill was hysterical.
Through the hiccupping sobs, Churchill told the Sargent what she had found. Sergeant John went inside the residence and checked Crites for a pulse. He had none, there were others in the home at the time, Sargent ordered everyone out.
Tommy Rose, an evidence tech with Enid police department was called in around 5 am. Rose recovered 10 .45 caliber shells casing from the Trailer House. Rose submitted these to the Oklahoma Bureau of investigations for test.
The state medical would work on Christmas eve to complete the autopsy on Crites. Crites suffer eleven gunshot wounds in total. The Bullets recovered from the left arm, pubic bone, and the spine. The cause of death was ruled a homicide.
Sometime just after Christmas Williamson was walking with Fuston down to the store. Fuston asked if Williams had heard of the Columbia Street murder. When Wilson indicated he did and pointed to himself and looking crazy. Fuston said he went to somebody’s house, disguised his voice as Hispanic, when the man opens the door, Fuston fired.
January 9^th, 2013, Fuston was jailed on an unrelated charge. During a phone call to Haley, he was head telling Haley to get rid of the hammers.
Williamson went to the house on Wabash, where the vacant lot was. He then called a gentleman by the area of Oakley. Williamson would then send Haley a Facebook message letting him know the gun had gone.
On January 11^th the Enid Police contacted Oakley and informed him he had possibly received stolen property. After speaking with his attorney, Oakly gave him the .45 Taurus, purchased from Williamson.
During the summer of 2013, Judd Julian, was with Young, brown, Haley. While together young told Julian about the Crites murder. Julian would later testify about what Young.
All of which landed Ronnie Fuston on death row and a child without her daddy.

Am I above taking a shot at the lowest of low-hanging fruit just to score some easy upvotes? Apparently not. On the other hand, I can legitimately see billionaire Wall Street fund managers doing something like this.
If you prefer to listen rather than read, you can find this story on my Youtube channel: The Warlocks of Wall Street
*
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Seven men stood around the pentagram. One at each of the five points of the unholy star, and two more by the altar. Each man was cloaked in a black robe and an aura of shadow that clung to them like oil.
​
The sacrilegious chant echoed off the stone walls of the chamber. Foul texts were inscribed thereon, their words unreadable to any sane man. Words of protection. Words of binding. Deep in the grooves of each inscription was a dark residue that shone rust-red as it caught the candlelight from the pentagram.
​
The candlelight also caught the blade in the Magister's hand. The chanting accelerated, syllables streaming out of the mouths of the hooded figures, unknowable phrases that seemed to coil through the air as they left the cultists' mouths, like the smoke rising from the candles. The knife flashed, and the goat that had been laying entranced upon the altar started gushing bright, red blood.
​
"Baalchazar, Baalchazar, we summon you!" The final words rang out, and then... silence.
​
For a moment the cultists stood there, and from the way their hoods turned fractionally towards their neighbours, you might almost think they were looking for reassurance. Their feet shifted, uncertainly.
​
Then the candles flared, casting distorted shadows of the seven cultists across the walls, before dying down again so dim that darkness almost swallowed the chamber. There was a soft noise, as of someone letting go a breath, then...
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"Alright, I'm here, I'm here. What do you want?"
​
The candles flickered into life again. There were no longer seven figures in the room. Now there was an eighth, and he was standing in the centre of the pentagram. He looked like a man, in an expensive yet nondescript suit. It was only his eyes that gave him away, still smouldering red with the fires of hell.
​
The Magister wiped the blood from his knife and approached the circle, slowly.
​
"Well?", the demon asked. "I haven't got all day, you know."
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The Magister hesitated, perhaps slightly put off by the new arrival's relaxed attitude. Then he mustered his occult authority, and proclaimed in sonorous tones: "Baalchazar, demon of the second rank, servant of the Pit, master of foretellers and soothsayers, by the rites of Ancient Ur and the bindings of the Edomites, we adjure thee!", he proclaimed, raising his hands in a manner he probably thought was dramatic, but looked more like he was signalling a touchdown.
​
The demon rolled his eyes. "Well yes, obviously, that was implied by all... this.", he said waving his hand vaguely at the pentagram, candles, and robed figures. "*What* do you adjure me? Presumably you had something in mind and didn't call me up here just to have a chat."
​
The hoods looked at each other again. It was pretty clear that they hadn't done this before, and whatever they'd been expecting, it wasn't this.
​
"We demand... uh...", the Magister started in his stentorian voice, then hesitated. Then he coughed. He looked like he sensed the whole production was starting to slip away from him, but clearly he had a script and he intended to stick to it. "We demand of you arcane knowledge! By Lucifer, by Lilith, in the name of Pandaemonium and Dis, we command you to tell us..."
​
There was a pause. Possibly for dramatic effect, possibly because the Magister realised that having put so much effort into the lead-up anything he said now would be an anti-climax.
​
"Yes...", the demon said encouragingly.
​
"... what will be in the NVidia quarterly report?"
​
You could have cut the tension in the air with a knife, which the goat would no doubt have preferred. Seven men waited with baited breath to see whether their transgressions against all the laws of man and god were about to pay off - like Hollywood producers on Oscar night.
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Baalchazar shrugged. "Oh, is that all. Net profits will be twelve point three billion, up forty-six percent from the previous quarter. We done here?"
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"We... uh... is that it?"
​
"Is what it? You asked, I answered."
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"Yes, but...", the Magister hesitated.
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One of the other cultists spoke up: "We were expecting that you'd... you know, make it a bit more difficult for us. Answer in riddles, something like that. 'NVidia's price shall rise as high as the moon on the fifth night of June.'"
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Baalchazar winced at this attempt at poetry, then shrugged. "Yes, well, that's normally the sort of thing I'd do, but it's not worth the effort this time because - and I really can't stress this enough - I don't care."
​
"You don't care?"
​
"Not in the slightest. This is just not the sort of thing that interests me, it's all a bit... trite, to be honest. No offence.", he said. Like everyone who has ever used that phrase, clearly intending to be offensive. "If you were a dark brotherhood seeking to unlock secrets of blasphemous sorcery to make yourselves gods amongst men, then I might actually take an interest. But this? Well put it this way, for me this is like being a classically trained Shakespearean actor having to sit through a kid's school play."
​
"Well that was uncalled for.", one of the cloaked figures said, a little peevishly.
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"No, the designer robes were uncalled for. Why does Armani even have a range of hooded cloaks anyway?"
​
"They make them for orgies.", one of the other cultists volunteered cheerfully. "My wife and I have a matching set."
​
"Circling back to the focus of the... summoning.", the Magister said, biting down before he said 'meeting'. "You're saying that NVidia will see a 46% rise in profits this quarter? You're really just going to give it to us as easy as that?"
​
"Yep. Hey, since we're here: Tesla is going to be down twenty percent, Goldman Sachs is going to have a surprise rally starting at three-ninety before topping out at four hundred fifty a share, and oil prices are going to rise by ten dollars a barrel."
​
"Oh come on, now you're just fucking with us.", one of the cultists said, crossing his arms. "It can't be that simple, there has to be a catch."
​
"No catch. Scouts honour.", Baalchazar said, giving them the three-fingered salute. "You know how the summoning works: I can't lie."
​
"That's right.", the Magister confirmed. "The ritual compels the demon to answer truthfully. That's why there's usually all that chicanery with the riddles and stuff, to stick to the letter of the rules while still being as unhelpful as possible."
​
"Which, like I said, is exactly what I would do... if I cared.", the demon said, tapping his feet. "But I don't, so you get a freebie this time. Now, are we done here?"
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The hooded figures looked at each other again.
​
"You're not even going to try and tempt us?", one of them asked, sounding almost disappointed, as if he'd been looking forward to at least window-shopping the treasures on offer for his soul.
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Baalchazar raised an eyebrow. "You guys work on *Wall Street*. I think it's pretty much a given that we're going to be seeing you down below sooner or later. Not really much for me to do here."
​
"Well, I guess...", the Magister started. "I mean, that's it, isn't it? Time to send him back? We've got what we wanted, right?"
​
"I still think it's a trick.", the cultist with his arms crossed said bluntly.
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"It can't be... the spell..."
​
"We shouldn't let him go! Get him to give us more!"
​
There was a hubbub of voices for a moment as the cultists all started trying to shout over each other, and suspicion, greed, and the pressing desire of one cultist to end the summoning so he could go to the bathroom, all vied against each other. Then the Magister put up his hands.
​
"Okay, okay, enough!", he shouted, and the cultists started to simmer down. "He's answered our question. We got as clear an answer as we're going to get, there's no reason to keep him here."
​
"I still think we should pump him for more information.", said one of the greedier cultists.
​
"Well if you really want to know more secrets,", Baalchazar said, "We could always discuss who's sleeping with who's wives."
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"Never mind.", the cultist mumbled.
​
"Right.", the Magister said firmly, clinging onto his control over the situation by the very tips of his fingers. "Then we're all agreed: we're done here." He looked around the circle, and one by one, the hoods nodded. He looked back at Baalchazar: "By the ancient compacts between the Lord of Damnation and his servants, we have summoned thee, and we have bound thee, and we have compelled thee to offer forth thine secrets. Now, by the ancient oaths of Akkad and the bindings of Alhazred we have heard thine words..."
​
Baalchazar rolled his eyes and made the rotating hand gesture for 'let's move this along, shall we'.
​
The Magister sighed. This had been a very trying experience, in ways he hadn't been expecting. "Alright, let's just get this done. We all remember the banishment ritual?" There was a round of nods. "Okay then: a one, a two, a one two three four..."
​
As the chant started and began to ramp up, the trace of a smile began to spread across Baalchazar's face. Partly because this whole farce was finally over. But mostly because they'd taken the bait.
​
If he'd answered with a riddle they would analysed it to hell and back, metaphorically speaking, but they would have been confident in their results. After all, that was all in the game. But cooperating? They hadn't expected that, and it set the gnawing worm of paranoia loose in their mind.
​
It just so happened that one of the men present here knew someone at Goldman Sachs. He would make discreet enquiries with this person, just using the information as a benchmark to judge how far to trust Baalchazar's other answers.
​
Although the man with the friend at Goldman Sachs wouldn't touch their stock himself - that would be insider trading, after all - three of the other robed dipshits here tonight would make massive bets on it. Enough to draw the SEC's attention, given that everyone was currently expecting the stock to tank. The Goldman Sachs employee could be linked to them through his friend, and because he was a nervous sort who folded as soon as he was put in a room with an SEC investigator, he'd mention he might have let certain details slip... they'd never find an actual paper trail, but all four men involved had provably collaborated on stock trades, and that was enough. After all, there was no *rational* explanation for their sudden good fortune.
​
Once the first conviction loomed, all seven of the cultists would turn on each other one by one, hoping to stay out of jail by pointing the finger at their compatriots' other dubious dealings. Fines would be levied, marriages would fall apart, careers would go down in flames. Half of them would go to jail anyway. In a very short time, every man in this room would be ruined by their own greed, cowardice, and betrayals.
​
Baalchazar just managed to hold in his laughter until the banishment spell finished in a flare of candlelight. Really, his job was almost too easy sometimes.
​
​

I got sent to suws wilderness program when I was younger, looking to reconnect with anyone that went with me or hear your own horror stories. As an adult now I wish I could confront the "therapist" that I never saw, what a bait and switch program there was absolutely no therapy in place. Abuse, neglect, isolation.. tried running away at night with no shoes and made it to a ranch. The owners ended up calling the police. I would've rather been to jail than in that harmful program.

I got sent to suws when I was younger, looking to reconnect with anyone that went with me or hear your own horror stories. As an adult now I wish I could confront the "therapist" that I never saw, what a bait and switch program there was absolutely no therapy in place. Abuse, neglect, isolation.. tried running away at night with no shoes and made it to a ranch. The owners ended up calling the police. I would've rather been to jail than in that harmful program.

1. Divide and Conquer - 4/5 (Slapper intro. Pretty good for a pilot episode, but it felt like they rushed into character drama a little too quickly. Like, I only JUST now met Robin and Cyborg for the first time, so this big breakup doesn't really hit as hard as I imagine it could had it been a later episode. The animation of this show is very fun and different from typical action cartoons, though. Stuff like the characters turning into chibis and going horrendeously off-model for gags is great stuff.)
2. Sisters - 3/5 (Immediately more character conflict and drama. I'd say this one works a little better, but again, I only really now just met Starfire, so there's not a hugely established friendship between her and the Titans enough yet. On the other hand, perhaps that's for this episode's benefit, as it's about her feeling replacable, which would not be very realistic after having been established as BFFs for several seasons. And I did think her and Robin's chat was really sweet, so whatever. Also, Blackfire is just a color swap of Starfire. Sunny Tennyson much?)
3. Final Exam - 4/5 (So this episode was the first to air, but is not the "real" pilot. Strangely enough, it would almost have worked better as a pilot, since it introduces the characters in their HQ immediately followed by showing how they work as a team. The H.I.V.E. aren't the most interesting villains but Gizmo was pretty amusing. What was with the lighting in the scene where they get out of the water though? Looked strange.)
4. Forces of Nature - 4/5 (Thunder's Sonic eyes is freaking me out. Please separate them... Anyway, decent episode, even if it's mostly just Thunder and Lightning wreaking havoc and getting moral lessons from Beast Boy.)
5. The Sum of His Parts - 5/5 (Fixit. Wow, clever name. Sarcasm aside, pretty great episode. It's interesting to see Cyborg's abilities explored, and the eerieniess of Fixit about to forcibly make him a full robot was highly engaging. Although while that IS the main story, the majority of this episode is spent with the other Titans fighting Mumbo Jumbo for some reason. Not that it's back, since I liked the zany wackiness of it. But it definitely didn't need take up that much time. Also, he briefly became a Canadian from South Park.)
6. Nevermore - 4/5 (Thunder and Lightning, Mumbo Jumbo, and now Doctor Light? So far this show has had really lame villains. Not that it's a huge detriment, because unlike other superhero cartoons, the focus in most episodes seem to be more on the inner workings of the Titans themselves as opposed to whatever villain they're facing, so I guess they just pick goofy ones to jumpstart the actual plots. Which in this episode was pretty amusing. Raven's a lot more mellow than her appearance would let on. I thought she would nearly murder Cyborg and Beast Boy for breaking into her room, but she was just slightly upset. Oh and, uh, what was up with intro being in Japanese?)
7. Switched - 4/5 (Just as I mentioned the villains being "lame" in the last episode, I thought Puppet King was pretty interesting. He's not like, compelling as a character or anything, but I found the puppet schtick fairly amusing to watch. As for the actual story, while "body swap" is not the most original idea for these kinds of shows, I still found it endearing how Raven and Starfire learned about one another. But the fact that they still keep their voices makes me go grrr.)
8. Deep Six - 3/5 (There's that Japanese intro again! Apparently it's used for episodes that are more comedic, while the English is for the "serious" ones. Guess I'll see if that assessment holds up under scrutiny. So this is mostly an underwater episode, which, while not a bad setting by default, feels pretty uninspired when it's nothing but blue backgrounds and rocks. Raven horning for Aqualad sure was a sight to behold, though. Felt a bit out of character.)
9. Masks - 4/5 (Wow, Red X was Robin? No way. It's not like they had the exact same voice or anything. Anyway, as good as this episode might be, it's really just some setup for Slade's schemes, which is really only vaguely hinted at whatever it is. As a result, I don't really have much to say. Starfire's lecture about Robin not trusting them was a bit "wha" though, because, yeah, if they knew Red X was Robin, they would've held back, and it would not be convincing.)
10. Mad Mod - 3/5 (Sheesh, this episode hurts my eyes. It's a funny one, though. And it has the Japanese intro, so I guess that fact about it was true. It's nothing but the Titans chasing some Brit for the entire episode. 20 minutes of pure zaniness. And Mad Mod was a pretty amusing gag villain. I also really liked the song "K2G" that played during that Scooby-Doo parody montage.)
11. Car Trouble - 3/5 (Gizmo drove away with Cyborg's car JUST as he arrived to confront the guys who initially stole it. He would have been right in the vicinity of it, how did he not notice it driving away? LOL. Also why do the two crooks calmly tiptoe around and vaguely say they "lost it" instead of just "some guy drove away with it right behind you like 10 seconds ago!".)
12/13. Apprentice - 5/5 (Slade merely wanting an apprentice is a bit of a confusing motivation. Like, for what purpose? Once he's fully molded Robin, what does he intend to do next? Take over the world? Not that it matters, since the conflict of Robin having to betray his friends to save their lives was thrilling enough. Although part 2 is obviously the better half, because the first is mostly just setup for that. Robin also makes a sick Batman reference, but can't directly mention him because of the Bat-embargo. LOL. Side note, the effect of the probes being the characters becoming...orange with a buncha circles wiggling around them was odd.)
14. How Long is Forever? - 5/5 (Robin just brooding in front of the speakers was funny. LOL. Anyway, the way time travel is handled here is confusing. I suppose it always is, but here it seems to function so that during the period Starfire was travelling 20 years, she simply did not exist during them. But she came back to the past in the end, meaning historically, she always returned. So instead of time travel looping around itself, I guess in this series when you travel, you're just gone. And if you return, the timeline you go back to will be a completely different one. That aside, it was neat to see the future Titans, although sheesh my guy Beast Boy aged horribly. And I find it hard to believe the entire city would become a dystopia like this, considering the Titans aren't the only heroes around.)
15. Every Dog Has His Day - 5/5 (Pretty solid for a zany comedy episode. Beast Boy becoming a dog to get bitches (pun intended) was funny. And the whole schtick of the Titans mistaking an actual green dog for him lent itself to a lot of good comedy. The reveal that that the dog is actually intelligent and can speak sort of "ruins" what made that aspect funny in the first place, but it doesn't affect the episode's quality or anything, so that's just a nitpick. Soto was pretty freaky though. Reminded me of Tiny from Ben 10.)
16. Terra - 4/5 (Yikes, Terra is scrawny. She's like a walking stick. I guess she has earth powers, although it's not really explored how or why. Though, at this point in the show, I've obviously learned that stuff is not something it prioritizes. Anyway, this episode is very good, but it's mostly just introduction to Terra and then a teaser that she is Slade's new apprentice victim. I'm interested for where that goes, but I don't have much else to say about this one specifically.)
17. Only Human - 4/5 (Not to go all Facts & Logic:tm:, but humans also have a limit to which they can use their muscles, so on a technical sense, Cyborg's conflict in this episode doesn't make much sense. Especially since he exceeds 100% by the end anyway, showing it was always possible. Not to diminish the story or anything, because I did find his conflict around it genuinely engaging. And the moment when he rises up to the challenge to actually beat Atlas is obviously very cathartic and rewarding. But also LOL that Atlas picked a beef with Cyborg over losing in a video game.)
18. Fear Itself - 4/5 (Here I spent the entire episode expecting the "obvious" reveal that everything scary that happened was a prank by the Titans to prove to Raven that she can be scared. Guess I was a little overconfident in that since it turns out she was just accidentally doing it herself.)
19. Date with Destiny - 4/5 (Hey, it's Spider-Man. I mean, Fang. That was a pretty freaky character design. Just a guy with a huge spider as his entire head. This episode felt like it ramped up the wacky animation to 11, particularly with nearly every motion Kitten makes. And that bit with Starfire's mouth falling into the punch stuck out, too. That aside, pretty cute episode. Starfire's jealousy is amusing.)
20. Transformation - 3/5 (Does the Titan Tower only have bathroom? That's ridiculous. It's huge! Anyway, not to complain about power inconsistency or whatever, but Starfire being able to instantly fly several hundred thousand kilometers away from Earth pretty much instantly, not to mention be able to breathe in space is a bit excessive. She's not Green Lantern... That aside, this was alright. It's neat to find out more about Tamaranians, but Starfire has already learned the "my friends will like me no matter what" lesson before.)
21. Titan Rising - 4/5 (Why is Raven so pissy at Terra? Like, I know she's moody and has a low temper, but raging at someone just trying their best? A bit out of character. That said, I still enjoyed the rivarly. I like Terra on the team. It's fun that they're expanding the roster.)
22. Winner Take All - 3/5 (Why does the Master of Games need people to lose a battle before he can absorb them and their powers? Why doesn't he just do it to all of them on the spot? I found it funny that Beast Boy lost the first round. When the episode began I was expecting some epic final battle between the three main characters. But nope, he just loses and is gone for the rest of the episode.)
23. Betrayal - 4/5 (That was a bit of a rushed betrayal. Terra is introduced in one episode, instantly leaves within the same one, makes a big comeback 4 episodes later, and betrays them in the very next while it's treated like some devastating loss to the team. Well, there is the game episode in between. But also she isn't even in that save for a silent cameo in one shot in the end, so that barely counts! That said I still liked the emotional beats of the story from Beast Boy's perspective and such, so I'm not hating on how this was done. I just think this could've meant more if she actually was a member of the Titans for the episodes leading up to this betrayal. On a lighter note, I liked Beast Boy's theatrical scenarios of how he should have asked her out.)
24. Fractured - 3/5 (So in-between the previous, serious, dramatic episode, and the upcoming 2-part finale which will obviously be about Terra, they felt they needed an episode about some annoying imp doing zany nonsense. Not that the show is a stranger to that stuff, but this wasn't nearly as charming as Mad Mod.)
25/26. Aftershock - 4/5 (Pretty standard "epic finale" fare, but obviously it's good because I liked this Terra arc, as rushed as it may have been. Her turning on Slade and even being the one who ends up killing him was pretty thrilling stuff. I didn't think they'd actually go that far, considering he's like the main villain of the series. But while that final battle between Beast Boy and Terra was pretty great due to the resonance and such it contains, I feel like the episode took up a lot of time having the Titans fight various miscellaneous characters leading up to it, that just wasn't as interesting. Side note, Raven and Terra just being colored completely brown to simulate being muddy stuck out to me. I don't know why. Mainly because most shows would draw wiggly lines to simulate the muddiness, not just one blank color.)
27. Deception - 4/5 (I know this show is episodic so stuff like this is bound to happen, but it is a bit eyerolling that characters seem to just learn the same lessons over and over. Like in this episode, Cyborg is beating himself up over being a cyborg, but by the end he accepts himself the way he is. A lesson he has learned in 2 episodes prior to this already. Not that I didn't think it was well done. His chat with Starfire was sweet, and the whole thing about him being undercover was entertaining too, so it's not much of an issue.)
28. X - 4/5 (So some guy steals Robin's Red X costume and takes up the mantle... But he also conveniently sounds exactly like Robin? Sure, because THAT makes sense. For the most part this episode is just baiting you into wanting to know who Red X is, but then NEVER answers it. Pretty rude. Nevertheless, it was still interesting. Also Professor Chang's design reminds me of Inspector 13 from Ben 10.)
29. Betrothed - 3/5 (Titans just casually flying to another planet like it's a mere road trip. OK. Is The Batman funding this or what? Also, that scene of Robin outside the spaceship made me LOL. Anyway it's interesting to see Tamaran thoroughly explored upon and such, but it's a bit absurd that every single person on the planet wears basically the exact same outfit.)
30. Crash - 4/5 (Cyborg's cybernetic features are confusing. Firstly, how could a digital virus affect his brain, which is clearly a biological component? Second, how and why are there red blood cells flowing in the "veins" of his mechanical parts? Nitpicking logic in a goofy joke episode aside, this was great stuff. I liked that they had to reluctantly get Gizmo to help, and Cyborg going nuts was just entertaining in its own right. I think the interior of his cybernetic parts were interestingly designed, and Beast Boy as an amoeba is just absurd but fun. Although it's inconsistent that he's able to talk while in that form, since he can't when he's any other animal.)
31. Haunted - 5/5 (This was pretty grim, but very thrilling. Given Slade was established as like the main villain of the show, even though it seemed obvious he was imaginary, I kept asking myself if he was actually real or not to come capacity, since I doubt the series would get rid of its main villain that easily. And well, they DID imply somebody else activated the hallucination chemical from the mask, so, like, yeah, he's clearly coming back. That said, if it was all in Robin's head, how did he get all those bruises and rips in his clothes? By punching the air? And why did Beast Boy have a cold in this episode? I guess they needed some comedic relief so it wouldn't be too grim for Cartoon Network.)
32. Spellbound - 4/5 ("Kardiak, you're under arrest". I get it. Because he is a heart. Pretty amusing. Anyway, yikes, Beast Boy sure was mean for NO reason. But the way they made up in the end with Raven even joining him and Cyborg's game of "stankball" was cute. As for Malchior, well, I thought he was a girl until he spoke.)
33. Revolution - 3/5 (Pretty much a rehash of the first Mad Mod episode. He has the Titans trapped in a maze of illusions and they chase him around and defeat him. Which I get is the whole gimmick since he's just a joke villain, so yeah. This was good, but not AS good. The pop-art backgrounds were pretty cool, and I liked how the British flag was the sky in the background the entire time. Plus, British Beast Boy was funny. The "message" about patriotism, democracy or whatever, felt a but muddled.)
34. Wavelength - 3/5 (I guess Brother Blood is growing to be Cyborg's arch nemesis or something. This was pretty average, so I barely got anything to say. Aqualad asks for help, so they take down Blood's underwater weapon and...Yeah. But I liked Bumblebee, and her fight scene with Cyborg had a lot of funny visuals. The bit where he shuts the door on her was amusing too.)
35. The Beast Within - 5/5 (This was great. You'd think it would be fairly predictable to tell a werewolf story with Beast Boy, but the execution really makes it work. Yeah, it's obvious he's acting strange because of the chemicals from the beginning. But his gradual shift from acting macho, to asshole, to picking a physical fight with Raven for NO reason was interesting because of how bizarrely out of character it is. Especially when his "beast" form took the Raven beef to the next level. But on top of that I especially enjoyed the twist that the Adonis guy from the beginning was a second werewolf, and the actual culprit. Robin seemed awfully quick to immediately lock Beast Boy away or straight up murder him though. For a guy who himself was blackmailed into being evil, you'd think he would be more considerate to other possibilities.)
36. Can I Keep Him? - 3/5 (This was alright. Pretty simple concept for a comedy episode is all. Beast Boy fosters a giant maggot and then it becomes bigger and dangerous. Kind of amusing how Starfire got more attached to it in like a day than Beast Boy did while hiding it for months. As a sode note, I liked the design of Rancids robot dog and dinosaur.)
37. Bunny Raven... or ...How to Make A Titananimal Disappear - 3/5 (Pretty good for a zany episode. The Titans as animals were amusing designs, and Beast Boy becoming a lamp instead was funny. Mumbo's song was catchy.)
38/39. Titans East - 4/5 (I like the concept of Titans East, although the only member I find particularly interesting is Bumblebee. I'm always fond of shrinking abilities for the potential practical uses that often go unacknowledged. She never really does anything with it besides shoot some lasers in the bad guys face, though. Speedy and Aqualad are kind of generic, and Más y Menos are just gag characters, so yeah. Cyborg's conflict here was pretty interesting, but the way he gets decapitated piece by piece was pretty brutal. But him sticking it to Brother Blood was pretty awesome, and I liked the sweet ending where he decides to stick with the Titans.)
40. Episode 257-494 - 3/5 (Steve Irwin gets mauled by a bear. Anyway, this episode is decent, but it's just an endless stream of references to other things, many of which I am not familiar with, so even as a comedy episode, a lot of the jokes don't work very well. That woman from the lame soap opera was still with Cyborg in the real world by the end because THAT makes sense. But it was funny.)
41. The Quest - 4/5 (Yeah, it was pretty obvious the old lady was the great master. Robin going through challenges was pretty entertaining though, but that snake one... He won by merely grabbing the snake? Sure, okay. The rest of the team dressing up as and pretending to be Robin was probably the best part, especially even Raven joining in.)
42. Birthmark - 4/5 (Welcome back, Slade. This was a very thrilling episode. Really just has you asking tons of questions. Like how is Slade back, why is he targeting Raven now, etc. But also, it was interesting how this potrays Robin and Raven as having a very close friendship. I mean I guess all the Titans are good friends, but these two haven't been explored as a duo at all, so it was interesting, if not a bit awkward.)
43. Cyborg the Barbarian - 4/5 (Silly concept, but I like it. Though given how time travel has been established in this show, Cyborg can't really do anything to affect the future, because everything he will do has already happened in the past. I like the design of the demon... Thingies)
44. Employee of the Month - 4/5 (I found it interesting how this acknowledges Beast Boy a physical task, as opposed to Raven or Starfire's breezy levitating. Beast Boy working at a meat shop itself was pretty funny, and the Tofu villain in the end sells the whole thing for me. LOL.)
45. Troq - 3/5 (The racism episode. The fact that we know what word "troq" is supposed to represent makes it very weird how often we see it used. I mean imagine an episode where they used the actual word this much... Yeah. I think this is pretty well done and what not in terms of being sweet and emotional, especially Cyborg's talk with Starfire and Robin instantly changing his mind on Val-Yor once he finds out. But the action plot they wrapped all this around didn't really have me hooked, and it's a pretty big chunk of the episode.)
46. The Prophecy - 3/5 (This is neat and all, but for the most part it really feels like nothing but setup for a grander plot than something to stand on its own. So while I'm sure the context of this will make the season finale more rewarding, this is just okay. I did get a kick out of Raven pulling up Slade as he was trying to leave just to jerk him around a little.)
47. Stranded - 4/5 (This is a fun episode, but it has one of the worst common TV tropes of all time; Character refusing to explain an easily explainable situation this creating conflict because of misunderstanding. I mean, yeah, Starfire DID describe what a "girlfriend" was, but then she just described what could also be platonic. Robin could have easily explained to her that there's a difference between platonic and romantic.)
48. Overdrive - 3/5 (I like the Billy Numerous theme music, but that's about it really.)
49. Mother Mae-Eye - 3/5 (Well, funny at times, I'll give it that. But ehhhh. Yeah, I don't know, there isn't much to be said here. Liked the scene where Robin spiked up his hair.)
50/51/52. The End - 5/5 (Yeah, pretty epic. The Titans using Raven's power was also cool. I was hoping to finally see Slade's face when his mask was knocked off, but I suppose a creepy half decomposed skeleton is also interesting... Don't really understand Trigon's motivation for, well, all of this though. He wants to take over the Earth and get rid of all life on it, just so he can sit in a giant chair and relax? I mean, the real story here is supposed to be about Raven, so I know it doesn't matter, but that's pretty thin for what's supposed to be the most threatening villain of the show to date.)
53/54. Homecoming - 3/5 (I love specific character focused episode where we see something more personal to them, but Beast Boy's background isn't that interesting and most of the team besides Elastigirl weren't very interesting. But I do find Negative Man's powers cool. Brain is a pretty cool villain too, I love his voice, really intimidating vibes. How are any of the Doom Patrol alive after what happened though? Never explained)
55. Trust - 4/5 (An entire Hot Spot episode? Interesting, since I always find it fun when shows divert from the main cast. Overall fun, but that ending was pretty frustrating though. Hot Spot was so obviously Madame Rouge!)
56. For Real - 3/5 (I do like the Titans East, but this was disappointing. I was hoping for more of a genuine episode in their own town, seeing their feats as a team and friends, as opposed to goofing off with Control Freak. Also one of the villains Brain had lined up two episodes ago is in jail here?? Were Más y Menos permanently translated to English for the audience to understand them? I mean I guess I prefer it, since having them two speaking what sounds like gibberish to the rest of the team makes it hard for them to appear as genuine friends, especially since they're mostly attached to each other as opposed to the whole team.)
57. Snowblind - 4/5 (Already loved Red Star and then he's immediately killed before my eyes!! Whyyyy! I was hoping he would gain control of his powers and aid the Titans. How has he still been getting tanks to fill up with radioactive liquid for so many decades though? And that's a pretty small room for two tanks a day over the span of decades.)
58. Kole - 3/5 (This entire season so far the Titans have just been around the world, given last time they were in what appears to be Russia, and now it's somewhere in Scandinavia. It's been an interesting change of pace, sure, but this episode wasn't terribly interesting. They meet some caveman with a little girl, Dr. Light is up to no good, etc.)
59. Hide and Seek - 3/5 (Bobby turning out to be real was a pretty fun "twist". Got dragged out for a while though.)
60. Lightspeed - 4/5 (Another non-Titan focused episode. Kid Flash is randomly horning on Jinx because why not, I guess? This Jinx redemption came out of absolutely nowhere, given how little we've seen of her prior. But Kid Flash is fun, so whatever.)
61. Revved Up - 3/5 (This episode is neat, but given how they are racing for the entirety of it, the constant action was pretty exhausting to sit through. Why did Raven sneezing and Starfire saying the Tamaranean equivalent of "bless you" inform all the villains they are Titans though? Also, infuriating we never got to see what's in the briefcase.)
62. Go! - 5/5 (Love seeing the origins of the team, though it's pretty oddly convenient that these 5 superpowered people (well 4 with powers) just so happened to stumble upon each other, same day, same time, same situation. I imagine shortly after this they occasionally stumbled upon each other trying to fight the same bad guy every so often and decided to start a team. Which would have been more realistic for their first interactions, not all 5 meeting at once. Pretty on the nose Batman reference but they still absolutely refuse to mention Batman.)
63/64. Calling All Titans!/Titans Together - 5/5 (Why is Beast Boy climbing up the mountain as a goat instead of just... Flying? This was quite the epic episode, I enjoyted the intensity of seeing nearly every hero be ambushed separately by different villains. It's a bit strange for the final part to mostly be from Beast Boy's perspective, and with the strange heroes he ends up meeting. I was expecting to see how the rest of the Titans made it to the Brotherhood of Evil base, but it's probably better this way, since it leaves it up to imagination, and it doesn't really matter. Seeing the brain finally defeated when all heroes went into battle was satisfying. Jericho's powers were pretty cool.)
65. Things Change - 4/5 (The amount of quiet and awkward scenes with that sad music was... Well, very strange. The whole Terra thing is a bit weird like, sure, if someone you don't know jumps up to you, acts as if they know you and tells you you've gotten amnesia, you'd think they were insane. But Beast Boy surely has photo proof? Or if not, he could get testimony from the rest of his team?? No??? It doesn't have to jog her memory back, but at the very least she'd realize the truth and know who she was instead of just being so vague and saying cryptic things. Some things she said implied perhaps she did know, because any real person would just yell out the weirdo stalking them, not give emotional speeches about the girl you once knew being gone etc. But all that aside, why did Slade send a robot out just to tell Beast Boy that he had nothing to do with what's happened to Terra? Also, that creatures ability to turn himself into any matter he touches is really cool.)
Movie: Trouble in Tokyo - 3/5 (This has pretty much one of the things I dislike most about movies based on TV shows; Instead of actually focusing on the iconic aspects of the series in question, it goes out of it's way to be as far removed from it as possible by setting it in a whole other country. Bummer, because an ideal Titans movie would really focus on the whole team, and THEIR city. Instead, they're just in Tokyo stopping a corrupt commander (who I knew was gonna be the bad guy from the get-go) who's creating crimes to be a hero. And the thing is with these kind of movies is, perhaps if they actually did focus on the characters relationships, it would be good. But instead they are mostly separated the entire time, just goofing off. And cue the obligatory relationship between Robin and Starfire. I mean, it was obviously going to happen, so it's not as if I mind it, but the drama feels pretty forced. They're heroes, yes, but they lounge around and take time off all the time when criminals aren't around. There really isn't much more to say about this. High-tier average. Although, admittedly, I was finding myself ready to close my eyes and fall asleep nearing the hour mark.)
-The Lost Episode - 3/5 (It's half the length of a normal episode, so it's hard to judge it, given it's not even serious at all. A fun little watch, for sure. Beast Boy walking around with a boombox on his shoulders was funny because of how dated it is.)
-New Teen Titans Shorts (Can't really rate them since they're just shorts, but here's a few throwaway thoughts: I like the artstyle. The lowercase T tower is a funny visual gag. Was Blackfire just killed? So, they finally actually showed Batman on screen (technically)? The hell was up with Cyborg's voice in one of these?)

For context: I’m 31F, my partner “P” (stepsons legal father on his birth certificate but not biological) 37M, my stepson 14M “S”, my oldest son “L” (9M) and youngest son 5M “O” (has epilepsy and autism) from my previous marriage, and my daughters “R” 3F and “M” 1F with P all lived in the same house since January 13th 2023. S came to live with us right before I got custody of L. In the beginning it was great! We all got along and we all had fun and enjoyed each other.
March of 2023 S started acting out I’m at home. I’m a SAHM and P works full time and his schedule isn’t normally the same when he gets home. He works as a master mechanic for a major company and also does side work. Usually I’m home when S got off the bus and P always asked me to make sure S got his homework done. I’d ask him if he had homework and he’s always say no so I never checked because he had decent grades. Come to find out he lied more than 75% of the time about having homework. So since I was home it was my job to make sure he got it done. I was told to look at his school laptop and make sure he got it all done. When this started he began getting an attitude with me every single time I asked about it and checked.
As the year progressed he got more and more verbal towards me about his work and I’d tell P and he’d talk to S and afterwards he’d be fine for a day or so then go right back to being mean.
During summer break I’d ask him for help, like moving furniture to clean with me or picking up dog poop or take the trash out or put the dishes away, very basic things. He always found an excuse for getting out of it either being a bathroom trip that lasted 30 minutes or so or just straight up ignoring me and call me names and say I was a bad mom because I couldn’t do them. Again I’d talk to P and same outcome. My hair started to fall out from stress and I had no voice for 7 weeks from anxiety. I had to go see a therapist who diagnosed me severe anxiety and moderate depression and made me start taking medication which helped. Because of everything I’d have to tell P during the day because of S being mean or rude to me and the other kids it interfered with his job. We almost broke up.
2023 he started high school. Until September he went to all his classes and then started skipping with the wrong kind of people. He went off campus so many times we had to put a tracker in his backpack and I’d have to watch him on my phone to call the school if he wasn’t there. Because of online applications for his school I got a notification every time he wasn’t in class or was late or left without asking. So I’d call him and tell him to go to class and so would P. I caught him smoking in the parking lot and even picked him up from a local park where he was skipping and brought him back to the school.
All of the instances I had to bring R and M with me because I have a small circle and they all work days and so I can’t take them to them.
In October his verbal abuse was so bad to me in front of my kids that one day I yelled back at him and he started screaming at me “what the fuck are you gonna do about it!? You fucking gay loving freak fucking me dad!” And came at me and so I had to defend myself (2nd degree black belt) to get him away from me. When P showed up he said it was my fault and I even apologized for what I did even though if I wouldn’t have he would have hurt me. S was fine other than his ego. We almost broke up.
In December he physically bullied another student and robbed him, which is a very serious federal offense. He was charged and put on parole. In January he went back from break and was doing good for about a week before he started skipping again. His doctors adjusted his meds (ADHD, ODD, and something else I can’t remember) and he started to do better again but still in February is was getting bad again. I’d have to go find him because P was working.
S blamed me for everything that was happening. He’d lose privileges because of his behavior towards me that P set down. He wasn’t given the can money we take in for extra cash because he been so cruel to me with his words and actions by P. P and I both agreed he shouldn’t get a job because they would fire him fast because he has no work ethic. He isn’t allowed sugar because he gets a little more off the rail than normal. He could ride his dirt bike because he was so mean to me by P.
He had his phone privileges taken away because he was just playing on it in class and stole L’s switch and played on that also. P asked me to put a password on it so he could only use it for emergency calls if he needed it. He ended up retrieving his passwords and putting a new one in without us knowing. When we found out we put a different one in and changed some settings so he couldn’t get the password back or it would wipe the phone.
Before he left for school one day I went to check his location on his phone and it didn’t show up. So when P handed it to me to check it had been wiped. He made a new account for it and don’t tell us. P got mad and broke the phone and had an altercation with because of this, he was mad that he just wasn’t getting it and snapped. S ended up not going to school that day and stacked bricks in our backyard all day, his parole officer approved of it. S blames me for it.
Things quieted down except for him not hearing anything I say until the last month of school where he was skipping again. His parole officer was angry and told him if he didn’t do the bare minimum that everyone single adult is asking him to do in his life he will make sure he doesn’t leave the state for any reason. His mother lives in Florida and we had thought about going down there for him to visit. He still didn’t listen.
His mother and grandmother are defending him to the point of enabling him and blaming us also for his behavior. He also lies to them about us saying we beat him all the time or play mind games with him. He gaslit me for the past 12+ months, lied to my face, called all the horrible names, and even bullied L and denied it and makes fun of people with special needs like O. They just let him and it kills me that someone would let their kid be mean like that.
The last week of school at 9:30 in the morning he pulled a knife out on another student that he stole out of Ps truck. He refused to walk out of the school with me and instead got escorted out in cuffs by two police officers. If he would have walked out with me that wouldn’t have happened. He went to juvenile jail and just got out but the judge refused to let him be released back to P because he doesn’t want the kids to get hurt more than they already are from his behavior. P is devastated but puts on a face for it. The judge said he had to go back to Florida with his mother and not get in trouble for 2 years for anything at all and they’d expunge his record. S blames me for that also.
He blames me for letting the cops take him, he blames me for “letting him” get the knife, he stole it. He blames me for literally everything. I had done every single thing P wanted me to do for him. I would tell P in absolute detail what had transpired when it happened and S hated me for it. I had to record it most of the time otherwise he’d lie abut it to make me look like a monster and he’s a victim. He even said he knew he treated me horrible and didn’t care.
My family went to see him tonight so we all could say our goodbyes and he wouldn’t look at meat all and walked away when I was trying to talk to him to clear up some air before he left. I left in tears because I just wanted to wish him luck and hope he does better and he wouldn’t even hear me out.
When we got home I was sad and quiet. I had said to M she needs a change and P thought I was talking to him and mocked me making a mumbling noise and I snapped at him “you aren’t the only one that’s sad and you don’t have to be so mean about it!” And he just made quick cutting short remarks to me the rest of the night like how the freezer was open a little (it was my fault on accident) and other like that. He just went to bed and is currently sleeping what sounds very soundly.
I cried while I was putting M down for bedtime and tried to be quiet. I feel so damn guilty. S blames me for everything. His grades, his chores not getting done, his online access, his phone, his Xbox… his friends, his problems with P…. I’ll admit I called him a bully when he was being one to my kids and it really stung him but he needed it to stop and I have to protect my kids… I’ll admit I’ve had to slap him 3 times total to get him to stop yelling at me and verbally attacking me. I’ve had conversations over and over again with P about how he is still a child and cannot talk to me that way.
He was so terrible to the kids and me so why the hell do I feel so badly about him leaving? And why do I feel like it’s my fault? He won’t help himself. We gave him everything single little thing he needed to do better with his choices and didn’t.
Please any advice would be very much appreciated….

I've posted here before and this is sort of an update & would like feedback. Warning sensitive content
I finally saw a psychiatrist after being referred months ago. She wants to speak to my husband next Friday. She believes my psychosis was cannabis induced and is looking at a bipolar diagnosis or a brain tumour.
I went manic in 2020 and ran off on my husband of 23 years and dated an ex for 6 weeks. I thought my husband was a jail guard and I would scream at him.
In 2021 after a year separated I bought a house I couldn't afford and spent 18 months isolated doing pot and worsening my symptoms. My husband would bring me food on the weekends. My husband co-signed this mortgage even though I had said 2 weeks & 2 days before we couldn't afford it. However, he thought I wanted a divorce.
I then moved into a rental condo we owned in 2023 and asked him if we can afford it and he said yes. Note that my internet barely worked at my house. We couldn't afford it.
By the summer of 2023 I had a complete breakdown and was involuntarily committed to a psych ward. I was released against doctor's orders to my husband.
I then realized our finances were a mess and I couldn't think or speak as I was still having a breakdown. I rented out my house & condo but then I panicked and sold out retirement home to pay off high interest rate mortgages (our mortgage rate had gone from 1.3 percent to 7, with 1 million owing. So we were paying a huge amount per year on interest. I wasn't aware interest rates had increased as I was so detached from reality. I had told my Husband I couldn't make decisions & he agreed to sell our retirement home.
Today we signed at our lawyer to sell the home I bought with 120k loss.
The retirement home that I also bought in 2021 had a net increase of 75k - so I sold as I thought I would owe on the mortgage on the house on closing. It didn't and wish I hadn't sold my retirement home.
These decisions broke me almost completely so I've struggled getting out of bed and have night terrors. I also get mad at my oldest son as when I got out of the hospital he kept telling me I owe him 10k and he couldn't wait for me to pay him as he wanted to buy a car. It is one of the reasons I panicked and sold my retirement home. My son is 21 and I gave him a car when he was 16 and also pay for all his university. When manic I pressured him to invest money in a startup that failed and he was very angry with me.
Anyhow, I stopped all cannabis use but was having trouble coping as I couldn't believe what I had done in the last couple of years & ruined all my relationships. My youngest also failed out of university and was threatening suicide if I made him get a job.
I went into a deep depression and could barely get out of bed. My oldest then told me this week he hates living with me and his brother as we do nothing all day and it is depressing. So he is moving in with his grandparents. Him and I used to be very close. I'm devastated. He said I don't even cook dinner anymore. I try to cook at least 1 meal per week. I order groceries online but I have trouble functioning and getting out of bed. I do try and clean the kitchen each morning as it's a mess when I get up as the kids don't clean. I do a little laundry. Today I vacuumed.
I ruminate alot about what I have done & in particular losing my retirement home. I get upset with my husband for not protecting the family assets and for not making decisions even when I was released from the hospital and saw the financial ruin. The strain of it completely broke me. I can't even explain it. My mind just wouldn't work and it felt like a tonne of weight was being pressed upon me.
I am scared that I will lose my family if I don't get better asap. I have been seeing a psychologist regularly during all this. I had voluntarily checked myself into the hospital and they kept me involuntarily. In 2020 when I felt my mind was going I went to a psychiatrist who said there was nothing wrong with me. The cannabis was prescribed but I abused as I was freaked out and scared from the psychosis. I've stopped all cannabis.
I need to forgive my Husband as clearly I'm at fault. I'm heartbroken with my oldest wanting to move and he is just ashamed of me now. I feel guilty for not being there for my youngest and his mental health. I got him into see a psychologist.
I would appreciate any suggestions to improve so I don't lose my family.

I'm sorry for the long post, however I will try to cut to the chase; For legal reasons, I live in Alabama. To make this a clear as I can, I (F21) have cousins (M55) and his wife (F56) who on her side of the family is related to who I believe is her neice (F25). Her neice has two kids, both from different men. Her first is a little girl (Since she's mostly who I'm talking about, and I will be refering to her as Kay) (F11) and her son (M4) is the youngest, she's still in the same relationship she was in when she had her youngest child. Ever since Kay was first born, they've had nothing, but trouble with cps and all that mess. Her Mama is a terrible person with a history of drug use and abuse, however she convinced the courts she was clean enough to be able to gain custody of her kids. Kay lived with my cousins (Her Nana and Papa) from when she was about 3 to maybe the age of 8 or 9. Since her mother gained custody of her and was also able to keep her son, we haven't seen them since all this happened maybe 2-3 years ago. Growing up, Kay talked about how she was afraid of police, cause they took her Mama to jail, and I would hold her her while she cried about how she was going to be just like her Mom. She told me stories like how her Mama neglected her as a baby. She was telling ne this at 5 years old, and despite everything, all she wanted to do is be with her Mama. Her Mama knowing this, manipulated not the courts, but also her own daughter. I remember warning her that her Mama might be making false promises, but she was only a little girl, and didn't know any better, so she believed all the nice things her Mama was telling her. She just wanted a "Normal" family. When she lived with my side of the family, she had visitation right with her Mama, despite everything that was going on. They let her have the privilege of being able to see her daughter. I knew from the moment that her Mama got full custody that under her watch, we weren't going to see those kids again. Skip ahead a few years. Contact with Kay was few and far between. We know a little of what was going on, but not the extent. I knew that her parents were leaving her alone for long periods out of the day. I knew that they at the very least were manipulative. Given she told me she can't go visit cause "Something might happen to her mom when she's away.". That was as far as I knew for the longest time, until she called the other day sobbing. She was letting all her trauma out over the phone, and I have every reason to believe every word she says. Her Mom and step-dad abuse her physically and emotionally. I have so many stories now. I want to take her to court. Kay told me that life is Hell for her, and she's only holding on for her brother. They hit her, hold her down, pick her apart by comparing her to others, and making fun of her appearance. They favor her brother, they baby him, and then they abuse her. They treat her like garbage. She said cps turned her away. It's not those kids fault. The abuse is so extent that it would be a whole post on it's own. They're homeschooling her now, which I could only imagine that it could make things worse. To make it even worse, she told me that my cousin would touch her, but the examiner found no evidence. I wouldn't think she'd make this up- I want to take everyone to court. I need answers, and she and her brother both needs help, bad. I understand that there's a lot that goes into custody. There's so much I need to know. So many people that deserve karma. I want to be able to take everyone to court and take custody of those kids. I'm already working, but I'm going to get a second job to save up as much as I can, and my fiance and I are going to get married at the courthouse, and we're going to rent out a house for a stable place to stay. I want to do anything to help. Anything. I have so many questions. I told her to take pictures and send them to me, so I can collect the evidence, and to delete the photos after, so she won't risk getting in trouble. I record every phone conversation. I'm trying my absolute best to have the courts on my side. I need advice, I need to know where to start, I need to know what I could tell her. Please if anyone could help, I need answers. Even the costs, I will fight tooth and nail to know those kids are safe. If you've read this for, thank you. Thank you so much for listening. Any advice would mean the world.

I'm sorry for the long post, however I will try to cut to the chase; For legal reasons, I live in Alabama. To make this a clear as I can, I (F21) have cousins (M55) and his wife (F56) who on her side of the family is related to who I believe is her neice (F25). Her neice has two kids, both from different men. Her first is a little girl (Since she's mostly who I'm talking about, and I will be refering to her as Kay) (F11) and her son (M4) is the youngest, she's still in the same relationship she was in when she had her youngest child. Ever since Kay was first born, they've had nothing, but trouble with cps and all that mess. Her Mama is a terrible person with a history of drug use and abuse, however she convinced the courts she was clean enough to be able to gain custody of her kids. Kay lived with my cousins (Her Nana and Papa) from when she was about 3 to maybe the age of 8 or 9. Since her mother gained custody of her and was also able to keep her son, we haven't seen them since all this happened maybe 2-3 years ago. Growing up, Kay talked about how she was afraid of police, cause they took her Mama to jail, and I would hold her her while she cried about how she was going to be just like her Mom. She told me stories like how her Mama neglected her as a baby. She was telling ne this at 5 years old, and despite everything, all she wanted to do is be with her Mama. Her Mama knowing this, manipulated not the courts, but also her own daughter. I remember warning her that her Mama might be making false promises, but she was only a little girl, and didn't know any better, so she believed all the nice things her Mama was telling her. She just wanted a "Normal" family. When she lived with my side of the family, she had visitation right with her Mama, despite everything that was going on. They let her have the privilege of being able to see her daughter. I knew from the moment that her Mama got full custody that under her watch, we weren't going to see those kids again. Skip ahead a few years. Contact with Kay was few and far between. We know a little of what was going on, but not the extent. I knew that her parents were leaving her alone for long periods out of the day. I knew that they at the very least were manipulative. Given she told me she can't go visit cause "Something might happen to her mom when she's away.". That was as far as I knew for the longest time, until she called the other day sobbing. She was letting all her trauma out over the phone, and I have every reason to believe every word she says. Her Mom and step-dad abuse her physically and emotionally. I have so many stories now. I want to take her to court. Kay told me that life is Hell for her, and she's only holding on for her brother. They hit her, hold her down, pick her apart by comparing her to others, and making fun of her appearance. They favor her brother, they baby him, and then they abuse her. They treat her like garbage. She said cps turned her away. It's not those kids fault. The abuse is so extent that it would be a whole post on it's own. They're homeschooling her now, which I could only imagine that it could make things worse. To make it even worse, she told me that my cousin would touch her, but the examiner found no evidence. I wouldn't think she'd make this up- I want to take everyone to court. I need answers, and she and her brother both needs help, bad. I understand that there's a lot that goes into custody. There's so much I need to know. So many people that deserve karma. I want to be able to take everyone to court and take custody of those kids. I'm already working, but I'm going to get a second job to save up as much as I can, and my fiance and I are going to get married at the courthouse, and we're going to rent out a house for a stable place to stay. I want to do anything to help. Anything. I have so many questions. I told her to take pictures and send them to me, so I can collect the evidence, and to delete the photos after, so she won't risk getting in trouble. I record every phone conversation. I'm trying my absolute best to have the courts on my side. I need advice, I need to know where to start, I need to know what I could tell her. Please if anyone could help, I need answers. Even the costs, I will fight tooth and nail to know those kids are safe. If you've read this for, thank you. Thank you so much for listening. Any advice would mean the world.

I'm sorry for the long post, however I will try to cut to the chase; For legal reasons, I live in Alabama. To make this a clear as I can, I (F21) have cousins (M55) and his wife (F56) who on her side of the family is related to who I believe is her neice (F25). Her neice has two kids, both from different men. Her first is a little girl (Since she's mostly who I'm talking about, and I will be refering to her as Kay) (F11) and her son (M4) is the youngest, she's still in the same relationship she was in when she had her youngest child. Ever since Kay was first born, they've had nothing, but trouble with cps and all that mess. Her Mama is a terrible person with a history of drug use and abuse, however she convinced the courts she was clean enough to be able to gain custody of her kids. Kay lived with my cousins (Her Nana and Papa) from when she was about 3 to maybe the age of 8 or 9. Since her mother gained custody of her and was also able to keep her son, we haven't seen them since all this happened maybe 2-3 years ago. Growing up, Kay talked about how she was afraid of police, cause they took her Mama to jail, and I would hold her her while she cried about how she was going to be just like her Mom. She told me stories like how her Mama neglected her as a baby. She was telling ne this at 5 years old, and despite everything, all she wanted to do is be with her Mama. Her Mama knowing this, manipulated not the courts, but also her own daughter. I remember warning her that her Mama might be making false promises, but she was only a little girl, and didn't know any better, so she believed all the nice things her Mama was telling her. She just wanted a "Normal" family. When she lived with my side of the family, she had visitation right with her Mama, despite everything that was going on. They let her have the privilege of being able to see her daughter. I knew from the moment that her Mama got full custody that under her watch, we weren't going to see those kids again. Skip ahead a few years. Contact with Kay was few and far between. We know a little of what was going on, but not the extent. I knew that her parents were leaving her alone for long periods out of the day. I knew that they at the very least were manipulative. Given she told me she can't go visit cause "Something might happen to her mom when she's away.". That was as far as I knew for the longest time, until she called the other day sobbing. She was letting all her trauma out over the phone, and I have every reason to believe every word she says. Her Mom and step-dad abuse her physically and emotionally. I have so many stories now. I want to take her to court. Kay told me that life is Hell for her, and she's only holding on for her brother. They hit her, hold her down, pick her apart by comparing her to others, and make fun of her appearance. They favor her brother, they baby him, and then they abuse her. They treat her like garbage. She said cps turned her away. It's not those kids fault. The abuse is so extreme that it would be a whole post on it's own. They're homeschooling her now, which I could only imagine that it could make things worse. To make it even worse, she told me that my cousin would touch her, but the examiner found no evidence. I wouldn't think she'd make this up- I want to take everyone to court. I need answers, and she and her brother both needs help, bad. I understand that there's a lot that goes into custody. There's so much I need to know. So many people that deserve karma. I want to be able to take everyone to court and take custody of those kids. I'm already working, but I'm going to get a second job to save up as much as I can, and my fiance and I are going to get married at the courthouse, and we're going to rent out a house for a stable place to stay. I want to do anything to help. Anything. I have so many questions. I told her to take pictures and send them to me so I can collect the evidence and to delete the photos after, so she won't risk getting in trouble. I record every phone conversation. I'm trying my absolute best to have the courts on my side. I need advice, I need to know where to start, I need to know what I could tell her. Please if anyone could help, I need answers. Even the costs, I will fight tooth and nail to know those kids are safe. If you've read this for, thank you. Thank you so much for listening. Any advice would mean the world.