Words to write in a best friends birthday card
Credit Cards
2008.09.14 19:08 Credit Cards
A subreddit for discussing credit cards. Be sure to read sub rules before posting, use the resources linked in the sidebar / about section of the sub, and use search to see if your question has already been answered.
2012.02.05 07:54 doginabathtub For photos that are, you know, mildly interesting
Aww, cripes. I didn't know I'd have to write a description. How many words is that so far, like a hundred? Soooo, yeah. Mildly interesting stuff. Stuff that interests you. Mildly. It's in the name, ffs.
2019.06.27 18:21 r/AquaticAsFuck
For anything water related. Watersports (SFW), oceans, ponds, lakes, sea life, etc. Redditors, please post your best water content here. Thanks!
2024.05.19 06:51 Wade_The_Heathen Coaches Corner with WadeTheHeathen. Special Edition: Who is WadeTheHeathen?
Hello and greetings once again my fellow CUEnthusiasts!
This post is going to be different from the usual ones you may be accustomed to because I feel I should have done this first lol.
To some, I just kinda popped up here and started posting these Coaches Corners without providing anything about myself or my back story. Like, who’s this guy?
I feel like a bit of a proper introduction and a brief digital card collecting history may help. Even most of the folks on discord don’t know this lol.
To keep it CUE, I will not name/mention or describe in detail other apps at all, just some general info that helps to understand my history and why I know the stuff I do and am now sharing it with all of you. To be honest, my CUE adventure started, in part, due to these apps :)
I started trading and collecting digital cards in 2016. But don’t worry, like I said I’ll be brief lol. The apps I was on were all individual but also kind of connected, and it’s wasn’t a game, just collecting and trading. I’ll give some insight to what they were like, as it’s kinda relevant but won’t be too detailed or revealing.
The majority of people traded within an individual app, accounts could span all the apps, but cards never transferred across apps. There was a method to trade between apps we called cross trading. I want to note, this was all ok and approved by the apps devs, but we did so at our own risk. Again, I won’t go into detail and this is as specific as I’ll get.
The reason I mention this is because in order to do this well, I had to know values for cards across quite a few apps and be able convert values amongst them. In order to do so effectively and accurately I studied and worked hard and learned all I could because that was the game.
I was selected for and assigned a trade evaluator role on one of their larger discord servers where players could ping us and get a quick evaluation. If needed, I was required to explain as briefly and as detailed as possible, a breakdown of a trade if needed and do so without bias. I did this until about 2021/2022. I was fairly well known and regarded as one of the better traders on each app I was on. But that comes second hand when you learn to play the collecting and trading game fairly and well. And that’s as far as I’ll go with that. Because next comes my CUE story.
It’s was actually a good friend from those previous apps that introduced me to CUE back in 2020, as my cake day indicates lol. However I was pretty casual on cue as my time was invested elsewhere for a number of reasons that I won’t get into.
I got into and went full time with CUE as my main app in around 2021/2022, and it has been my only card app since. I do want to describe my earlier, cue focused days a bit because it lends a bit to my back story and why I’ve been enjoying making these posts.
When I started, like many, I didn’t use any social platform. I had no idea as to the values other than what I knew from my past as a trader and collector. I also didn’t really play the game, so I never grasped the playability aspect of cards until later.
I managed to apply what I knew and successfully complete the app without ever knowing there was a value systems in place and readily available. I was able to figure which cards were hot, in demand and had value, what to pull (I wasn’t spending much back then, I was grinding trades), and when i found out there were hoarders (one card collectors), I had a good idea of to how to trade with them and, for the most part, any level of player. Little by little I was able to eventually piece together the basic trade economy. I can promise, like most players new to a card app, I sent some bad offers, and accepted them too. It happens lol.
All this means is, I write these posts because I’ve experienced what I’ve written about. I’ve learned the trading game, and applied and integrated what I knew successfully. And if I can help some people skip the years it took me, why not?
I’ve been a member on the CUE official discord for maybe a year, maybe a bit more lol it’s a blur. I can say though, it was just like home. Information readily available, a value system in place, trade evals, hoarders(one card collectors), the players who trade heavily. I made it a priority right then and there to learn the value system there in and out. This didn’t require me to be on discord all the time but I made it on as often as I could, and I took it all in and applied it. I knew how important this was going to be, especially when directly working out deals with people live. I had done this before, and was about to again lol.
My years on CUE have been an amazing and incredibly fun experience. And the people I’ve met along the way have become some great friends. Some of my favorite times are on discord talking digital cards and stuff. Makes the game that much more special and enjoyable.
My journey with cue is far from over, although I’m busy with life and that’s my main focus, I feel a deeper connection to that game and a bit of a different appreciation for it. Sorry, it may not make sense to you, but it does to me xD
Doing these segments have been extremely enjoyable and rewarding for me. It’s been a joy to look back and rememberelive times when I was just in my collecting infancy.
I feel like and hope what I’m writing about and passing on is both helpful and useful, as I may have said before. I’ve seen guides and strategies for playing the card game and deck building that go into great depth. I just hope I’m filling, what to me seemed like a gap. And that’s the trading and collecting aspect of the game.
I’ll be posting the next segment of Coaches Corner very shortly, so please, stay tuned :)
As always, Happy Trading and keep it Cue, see you in game!
submitted by Wade_The_Heathen to cuecardgameAvid [link] [comments]
This post is going to be different from the usual ones you may be accustomed to because I feel I should have done this first lol.
To some, I just kinda popped up here and started posting these Coaches Corners without providing anything about myself or my back story. Like, who’s this guy?
I feel like a bit of a proper introduction and a brief digital card collecting history may help. Even most of the folks on discord don’t know this lol.
To keep it CUE, I will not name/mention or describe in detail other apps at all, just some general info that helps to understand my history and why I know the stuff I do and am now sharing it with all of you. To be honest, my CUE adventure started, in part, due to these apps :)
I started trading and collecting digital cards in 2016. But don’t worry, like I said I’ll be brief lol. The apps I was on were all individual but also kind of connected, and it’s wasn’t a game, just collecting and trading. I’ll give some insight to what they were like, as it’s kinda relevant but won’t be too detailed or revealing.
The majority of people traded within an individual app, accounts could span all the apps, but cards never transferred across apps. There was a method to trade between apps we called cross trading. I want to note, this was all ok and approved by the apps devs, but we did so at our own risk. Again, I won’t go into detail and this is as specific as I’ll get.
The reason I mention this is because in order to do this well, I had to know values for cards across quite a few apps and be able convert values amongst them. In order to do so effectively and accurately I studied and worked hard and learned all I could because that was the game.
I was selected for and assigned a trade evaluator role on one of their larger discord servers where players could ping us and get a quick evaluation. If needed, I was required to explain as briefly and as detailed as possible, a breakdown of a trade if needed and do so without bias. I did this until about 2021/2022. I was fairly well known and regarded as one of the better traders on each app I was on. But that comes second hand when you learn to play the collecting and trading game fairly and well. And that’s as far as I’ll go with that. Because next comes my CUE story.
It’s was actually a good friend from those previous apps that introduced me to CUE back in 2020, as my cake day indicates lol. However I was pretty casual on cue as my time was invested elsewhere for a number of reasons that I won’t get into.
I got into and went full time with CUE as my main app in around 2021/2022, and it has been my only card app since. I do want to describe my earlier, cue focused days a bit because it lends a bit to my back story and why I’ve been enjoying making these posts.
When I started, like many, I didn’t use any social platform. I had no idea as to the values other than what I knew from my past as a trader and collector. I also didn’t really play the game, so I never grasped the playability aspect of cards until later.
I managed to apply what I knew and successfully complete the app without ever knowing there was a value systems in place and readily available. I was able to figure which cards were hot, in demand and had value, what to pull (I wasn’t spending much back then, I was grinding trades), and when i found out there were hoarders (one card collectors), I had a good idea of to how to trade with them and, for the most part, any level of player. Little by little I was able to eventually piece together the basic trade economy. I can promise, like most players new to a card app, I sent some bad offers, and accepted them too. It happens lol.
All this means is, I write these posts because I’ve experienced what I’ve written about. I’ve learned the trading game, and applied and integrated what I knew successfully. And if I can help some people skip the years it took me, why not?
I’ve been a member on the CUE official discord for maybe a year, maybe a bit more lol it’s a blur. I can say though, it was just like home. Information readily available, a value system in place, trade evals, hoarders(one card collectors), the players who trade heavily. I made it a priority right then and there to learn the value system there in and out. This didn’t require me to be on discord all the time but I made it on as often as I could, and I took it all in and applied it. I knew how important this was going to be, especially when directly working out deals with people live. I had done this before, and was about to again lol.
My years on CUE have been an amazing and incredibly fun experience. And the people I’ve met along the way have become some great friends. Some of my favorite times are on discord talking digital cards and stuff. Makes the game that much more special and enjoyable.
My journey with cue is far from over, although I’m busy with life and that’s my main focus, I feel a deeper connection to that game and a bit of a different appreciation for it. Sorry, it may not make sense to you, but it does to me xD
Doing these segments have been extremely enjoyable and rewarding for me. It’s been a joy to look back and rememberelive times when I was just in my collecting infancy.
I feel like and hope what I’m writing about and passing on is both helpful and useful, as I may have said before. I’ve seen guides and strategies for playing the card game and deck building that go into great depth. I just hope I’m filling, what to me seemed like a gap. And that’s the trading and collecting aspect of the game.
I’ll be posting the next segment of Coaches Corner very shortly, so please, stay tuned :)
As always, Happy Trading and keep it Cue, see you in game!
2024.05.19 06:50 SomeGuy6942024 I (19m) can’t tell if my friend (21f) likes me and is flirting with me or if I am just being dumb
So this has all happened within the past few weeks. A girl Im friends with at college is a senior, and I will be a sophomore. I jokingly said that she should help me practice kissing for next semester and she said that if I didn’t kiss at all when I graduated she would kiss me. I then jokingly said that I gotta wait three years and then she said that she’ll do it at her graduation instead which is next year. She is 100% serious. What does this mean? Does she like me? Think Im attractive? Or just wants to do something nice for me because she’s a really good friend? I sorta like her and find her pretty attractive but I already like another girl who just got in a relationship. She has told me she likes another guy but she hasn’t really elaborated much past that. However she knows the guy she likes doesn’t like her back. She wanted to FT me that same night to fall asleep because she’s wasn’t feeling well and having birthday depression because she doesn’t like her birthday. What does this add to the story already talked about?
Then cut to the day after where she went swimming and when she told me I jokingly said to not send swimsuit photos and she then later sent a mirror photo of her smiling, however she was in a tank top and jean shorts and not her swimsuit. Then a couple hours later she sent me another mirror photo in said tank top and jean shorts showing me her sunburn, she was making a sorta laughing smirking face with puffed out cheeks. However she sent a photo to a group chat we are both in but it was a different photo of her. It was definitely taken back to back with each other and the gc photo was more a goofy face/expression. Could that mean anything? Then fast forward to tonight where she asked me if she could send me a photo of her “looking good” (her words). I ofc say yes and she sends another mirror photo in a black tank top and black nike pro shorts, while having a flirty smirk on her face. She said she needed approval before she sent the photo to her mom and when I asked why she need approval to send a picture to her own mother, she responded with she’s scared of sending photos to her mom which I asked why and she replied with “Idk why I’m weird ok.” She then told me that she used to have someone to approve her photos but doesn’t anymore and that she can be herself around me, I told her she can always come to me for approval and she said she appreciated it. Was that photo meant for me or actually for her mom? Is she genuinely just wanting my opinion on photos of her? Or is there something else Im not seeing?
Then yesterday she was out boating and swimming again and she sent me a picture captioned “I hope I stay this tan” and its just a photo of her sitting down and her camera is just showing off her thighs and legs. Is there anything in that or am I just being crazy?
submitted by SomeGuy6942024 to dating_advice [link] [comments]
Then cut to the day after where she went swimming and when she told me I jokingly said to not send swimsuit photos and she then later sent a mirror photo of her smiling, however she was in a tank top and jean shorts and not her swimsuit. Then a couple hours later she sent me another mirror photo in said tank top and jean shorts showing me her sunburn, she was making a sorta laughing smirking face with puffed out cheeks. However she sent a photo to a group chat we are both in but it was a different photo of her. It was definitely taken back to back with each other and the gc photo was more a goofy face/expression. Could that mean anything? Then fast forward to tonight where she asked me if she could send me a photo of her “looking good” (her words). I ofc say yes and she sends another mirror photo in a black tank top and black nike pro shorts, while having a flirty smirk on her face. She said she needed approval before she sent the photo to her mom and when I asked why she need approval to send a picture to her own mother, she responded with she’s scared of sending photos to her mom which I asked why and she replied with “Idk why I’m weird ok.” She then told me that she used to have someone to approve her photos but doesn’t anymore and that she can be herself around me, I told her she can always come to me for approval and she said she appreciated it. Was that photo meant for me or actually for her mom? Is she genuinely just wanting my opinion on photos of her? Or is there something else Im not seeing?
Then yesterday she was out boating and swimming again and she sent me a picture captioned “I hope I stay this tan” and its just a photo of her sitting down and her camera is just showing off her thighs and legs. Is there anything in that or am I just being crazy?
2024.05.19 06:50 Cel-747Live Discover the Best Online Casino Games for Beginners: A Beginner's Guide to Nuebe Gaming
The dazzling lights, the electrifying atmosphere, the chance to test your luck and strategic prowess – the allure of casino games is undeniable. But for those new to the scene, the vast world of online casino games at platforms like Nuebe Gaming can seem intimidating. Fear not, budding player! This guide will illuminate the path to your online casino adventure, highlighting the best games for beginners at Nuebe Gaming and equipping you with the knowledge to navigate them with confidence.
Nuebe Gaming: Your Safe and Secure Playground for Online Casino Exploration
Before diving into specific games, let's prioritize safety and security. Nuebe Gaming takes this responsibility seriously. They employ state-of-the-art encryption technology to safeguard your personal information and financial transactions. Additionally, they promote responsible gambling by offering tools like deposit limits and self-exclusion options. With Nuebe Gaming, you can focus on exploring the exciting world of online casino games with peace of mind.
The Art of Choosing Your First Game: Understanding Key Concepts
Before selecting your first game, grasping some fundamental concepts is crucial:
Now, let's explore some of the best online casino games for beginners at Nuebe Gaming:
Nuebe Gaming understands the needs of new players and offers additional features to make your online casino journey even more enjoyable:
The world of online casino games awaits, brimming with excitement, strategic challenges, and the potential for significant rewards. Nuebe Gaming provides the perfect platform for beginners to embark on this adventure. With a diverse selection of beginner-friendly games, innovative features, a commitment to responsible gambling, and a user-friendly interface, Nuebe Gaming empowers you to learn, play, and potentially win.
submitted by Cel-747Live to u/Cel-747Live [link] [comments]
Nuebe Gaming: Your Safe and Secure Playground for Online Casino Exploration
Before diving into specific games, let's prioritize safety and security. Nuebe Gaming takes this responsibility seriously. They employ state-of-the-art encryption technology to safeguard your personal information and financial transactions. Additionally, they promote responsible gambling by offering tools like deposit limits and self-exclusion options. With Nuebe Gaming, you can focus on exploring the exciting world of online casino games with peace of mind.
The Art of Choosing Your First Game: Understanding Key Concepts
Before selecting your first game, grasping some fundamental concepts is crucial:
- Random Number Generators (RNGs): These complex algorithms ensure fair play by producing random outcomes for every spin, roll, or card dealt in online casino games, mimicking the randomness of a real casino environment.
- Return to Player (RTP): Expressed as a percentage, RTP indicates the theoretical amount of money a game pays back to players over time. Higher RTP generally means better odds for the player in the long run.
- House Edge: This represents the casino's inherent mathematical advantage in each game. Understanding the house edge for different games helps you make informed decisions about where to place your bets.
Now, let's explore some of the best online casino games for beginners at Nuebe Gaming:
- Slots: The Gateway to Online Casino Fun: Slots are undeniably the most popular online casino game, and for good reason. Nuebe Gaming offers a vast library of slots, catering to diverse preferences. Beginners will appreciate the ease of play – simply choose your bet size and spin the reels. Look for slots with lower volatility for more frequent, smaller wins to build your confidence. Utilize the demo mode (if available) at Nuebe Gaming to familiarize yourself with the gameplay before wagering real money.
- The Timeless Charm of Roulette: This classic casino game offers a thrilling blend of simplicity and excitement. At Nuebe Gaming, you can place bets on where the ball will land on a numbered wheel. There are various bet types, offering different odds and payouts. Beginners can start with outside bets, like red/black or odd/even, which offer lower payouts but higher winning probabilities.
- The Allure of Baccarat: A Game of Chance with a Twist:** Baccarat is another excellent choice for beginners at Nuebe Gaming. It's a simple card game where you bet on which hand (player or banker) will have a higher score closer to 9. The minimal player interaction makes it a relaxed and easy game to grasp. Understanding the house edge for both player and banker bets is crucial before placing your wagers.
Nuebe Gaming understands the needs of new players and offers additional features to make your online casino journey even more enjoyable:
- Mobile Compatibility: Enjoy your favorite games anytime, anywhere, with Nuebe Gaming's mobile-optimized platform. Play on your smartphone or tablet with a user-friendly interface, perfect for quick and convenient gaming sessions.
- Lucrative Bonuses and Promotions: Jumpstart your online casino experience at Nuebe Gaming with generous welcome bonuses and ongoing promotions. These incentives boost your bankroll and extend your gameplay time, allowing you to explore more games and hone your skills.
- User-Friendly Interface: Finding your way around Nuebe Gaming is effortless. The platform boasts a clear categorization system and game filters based on genre, features, and even volatility levels for slots, making it easy to find games that suit your preferences.
- 24/7 Customer Support: Nuebe Gaming's dedicated customer support team is available 24/7 through various channels, including live chat and email. They are committed to addressing your questions and concerns promptly and professionally, ensuring a smooth and enjoyable online casino experience.
The world of online casino games awaits, brimming with excitement, strategic challenges, and the potential for significant rewards. Nuebe Gaming provides the perfect platform for beginners to embark on this adventure. With a diverse selection of beginner-friendly games, innovative features, a commitment to responsible gambling, and a user-friendly interface, Nuebe Gaming empowers you to learn, play, and potentially win.
2024.05.19 06:49 rubberstacks Turning 18 is the worst.
I'm the oldest in all my friend groups so a lot of my friends turn 18 much later in the year and I've been having a crisis about my age everyday since my birthday.
It's like I'm suddenly hyper aware of everybody's age and what they've achieved. Almost anybody famous will have some anecdote about how at 15/16 they made or did something cool. All the news articles will be about some 13-16 year old changing the world or achieving the impossible.
Every competition I come across, there's an under 18 category and an over 18 category, I thought about participating in this essay writing competition after I was done with school but got freaked out when I saw I no longer fit in the "13-17" category but instead the "18 and above" category, and so I let the deadline pass. It's like suddenly I'm supposed to be that good, no longer do I have the "oh look at this cool high school kid doing this cool thing to do at their age" cushion.
I read all these reddit posts where everybody says things like "he/she is 18, they're responsible for what they say/do, hence they deserve xyz consequence" and it just always gets me thinking about how I don't feel like a mature person- I'm incredibly impulsive and irresponsible, I feel like I've been the same person since 13, I get jealous and petty and lazy and stupid: how can I possibly be someone who can be held accountable?
I feel like I'm becoming every older kid my parents would talk to me about in disgust, "oh she's in this mediocre college, she didn't do very well in school", "oh he's in some stupid job, he's just wasting his time there", "oh he's been sitting unemployed for months after graduating, all that money they invested in him for his education, all for nothing".
It's like turning 18 takes everything you hate about yourself and anxieties you have about the future- and multiplies it tenfold.
submitted by rubberstacks to teenagers [link] [comments]
It's like I'm suddenly hyper aware of everybody's age and what they've achieved. Almost anybody famous will have some anecdote about how at 15/16 they made or did something cool. All the news articles will be about some 13-16 year old changing the world or achieving the impossible.
Every competition I come across, there's an under 18 category and an over 18 category, I thought about participating in this essay writing competition after I was done with school but got freaked out when I saw I no longer fit in the "13-17" category but instead the "18 and above" category, and so I let the deadline pass. It's like suddenly I'm supposed to be that good, no longer do I have the "oh look at this cool high school kid doing this cool thing to do at their age" cushion.
I read all these reddit posts where everybody says things like "he/she is 18, they're responsible for what they say/do, hence they deserve xyz consequence" and it just always gets me thinking about how I don't feel like a mature person- I'm incredibly impulsive and irresponsible, I feel like I've been the same person since 13, I get jealous and petty and lazy and stupid: how can I possibly be someone who can be held accountable?
I feel like I'm becoming every older kid my parents would talk to me about in disgust, "oh she's in this mediocre college, she didn't do very well in school", "oh he's in some stupid job, he's just wasting his time there", "oh he's been sitting unemployed for months after graduating, all that money they invested in him for his education, all for nothing".
It's like turning 18 takes everything you hate about yourself and anxieties you have about the future- and multiplies it tenfold.
2024.05.19 06:49 Ok_Start1379 Should I (27F) break up with my (28M) ex-fiancé?
My (ex)fiancé and I had been together for almost 6.5 years, engaged for almost 2.5. Over the last several months, my (ex)fiancé has sat me down to talk about our relationship about once a month. Before these conversations, he would shut down and barely speak to me for several days even when I would ask what was wrong. Then he would finally tell me he was ready to have a conversation and would express his frustrations with the relationship. By the time of our conversations, I would already be on the defensive from his recent behavior. I also generally do not receive feedback well. When he would try to tell me that he was unhappy in our relationship because I didn't compliment him enough, flirt with him enough, or tell him I loved him enough, I would shut down. I was not able to hear what he was really trying to tell me. Instead, I put up a wall and told him to love me for who I am. I basically asked him "If I'm happy in our relationship despite my frustrations, why can't you be?" I now realize that is not an appropriate or healthy response when your partner is trying to communicate with you.
I did try to hear him. I gifted him some lingerie for the first time and let him take a boudoir photo shoot of me wearing it. I started sending a few more cute messages. I tried to make more time to cuddle with him when he would ask. I tried to give him more hugs. I tried to thank him more for picking up around the house. I wrote him a cute letter and surprised him with a few gifts for Easter. However, about a month ago, we had another one of those conversations. Except this time the first things he brought up were 'wondering what else is out there' and talking about how other girls are always complimenting him. Again came the walls and extra defensiveness. I ended up writing him a letter talking about how I didn't know if I could ever be what he wanted me to be and that maybe he should think about calling things off. This was obviously a defense mechanism to try to beat him to the punch line and talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy. Three weeks later he would sit me down and tell me he wanted to know what else was out there again and that he didn't know if he could go through with marrying me. My efforts did not feel like enough for him and I understand why. I was having a hard time connecting my emotions with my actions which made my actions seem reactionary and not genuine or provoked by love.
I have been through a lot more trauma in my life than I realized. My dad was in the Navy while I was growing up. We had to move every three years. A very pivotal point in my life was when we moved when I was in the 6th grade. I lived right next door to my best friend. I was finding my love for math and theater. I also played soccer and was a Girl Scout. When we moved, I became very depressed, though I didn't understand that's what it was at the time. I stopped all of my extracurricular activities. I stopped getting too close to people because I knew I would have to move or they would have to move eventually. I mostly stayed in my room and kept to myself, even from my family. I also have struggled with anxiety for as long as I can remember. Then, in my senior year of high school, I got my first-ever boyfriend. We were in a relationship for over 4 years. In that relationship, I would always be the one to try to talk about our problems. I would be the one who would always want longer hugs and more cuddles. But it was not a healthy relationship. We broke up and got back together many times. I found several illicit texts to other girls on multiple occasions and he would always gaslight me by saying his younger brother stole his phone or I misinterpreted the messages. I think this caused me not to want to show my emotions because it wasn't reciprocated and resulted in heartache. Then, three years ago my younger brother died in a tragic car accident at the age of 17.
When I realized I could lose the love of my life, I realized that he was right about me not being affectionate enough. I had built up walls to protect myself. I thought I had made progress on my anxiety and depression, but I realized I was wrong. I also realized that I have issues with communication, trust, and vulnerability. I was a great partner in other ways and I did express my love in other ways. I moved across the country, coast to coast, with him to a state where I didn't know anyone so that he could attend his dream school. I take care of the household. I get the majority of the groceries. I do all of the cooking. I do all of the maintenance cleaning. I take care of our 2 cats and 1 dog. I say all of those in the present tense because we currently still live together but are sleeping in separate rooms. I also financially supported him by lending him money and letting him pay less of the rent because I made more money. I accept all of him including that he has terrible time management skills, he can have a hard time controlling his emotions at times, and he is disorganized and messy. I also accepted that I would have to wait for marriage and children because of his school and accepted that he did not have a lot of free time between school, work, and his hobbies. I supported his love for his hobbies by accepting his purchasing of expensive equipment even when he owed me money, traveling to watch several events that were important to him, and traveling to see him win an award from his job. I would write heartfelt cards for every holiday. I also bought him dozens of children's books about love that I wanted us to read to our children one day.
When I realized I could lose him, I felt something change inside me. It was like I could feel a hole being blown in the wall I had built up. I felt all my love for him overwhelm me. I couldn't hug him, kiss him, or tell him I love him enough. I tried to talk to him to apologize for my behavior and how badly I'd hurt him. I tried to explain how I felt like a different person and how I really wanted to work hard on improving myself as a partner to make our relationship work. I tried to prove my words with actions. I wrote a list of things I needed to work on including communication and being more affectionate. I also wrote out a list of ways to work on those things and actually started doing the things on the list. Some of the items I had already begun to do like hug and kiss him more and tell him I love him more. I also tried to ask more questions about his interests/hobbies/day. I was more vulnerable and talked with him about my feelings more. I even initiated intimacy, something I had really only done once in a blue moon when I was intoxicated.
Despite all of my efforts, over the next two weeks, he continued to say he did not know if he could be with me and wanted to know what else was out there. He was very wavering and said multiple times "I don't know what the right decision is." He said he could not trust that my changes would last and that it was probably too late. I begged him to try couples therapy, but he refused and said "Therapy takes too long" and basically said it wasn't worth the time. He finally broke up with me after 2 weeks of going back and forth and I was devastated. He later talked to a mutual friend of ours and changed his mind about therapy. I was so happy to hear that he had changed his mind. However, now I feel like I can't even trust him anymore. He's turning into a person I don't recognize and I don't know what he's capable of anymore. I don't know if the man I love still exists. When he told me he was now agreeable to try therapy he said "We're still broken up, but I won't talk to any other girls." and then promptly said "And it will give me more time to find a place to live if things don't work out." He deleted several Instagram posts that had photos of me after he agreed to try therapy which makes me think he's not actually that open to healing our relationship. He complained to me about how he might have to take out student loans after I told him he needed to pay me for half of the rent while we're broken up and not decreased rate he had been paying me. He also "checked on me" on the night of the 3rd year anniversary of my brother's death when he heard me crying. Then he just sat on the end of the bed scrolling his phone while I cried as if he was checking on me because he felt like he had to and not because he wanted to. When I asked him if he had some sort of deadline in mind for the therapy, because he had previously mentioned that it takes too long, he said July or August and I have a suspicion that is because a girl he likes is leaving for summer break but will be back at the end of August for the next semester.
I just feel like the way he has been acting is not how you act towards someone you were in a relationship with for almost 6.5 years. Especially after saying you still love them and have no negative feelings towards them. That means even though you don't think you are a good relationship match, you should still want to treat them with respect. You should care that they are hurting during this time. You should want to comfort them in their grief of a separate event. You should mean it if you say you want to try therapy.
TL;DR : So should I break up with my ex-fiancé or should I keep fighting to get back the man I love?
submitted by Ok_Start1379 to relationships [link] [comments]
I did try to hear him. I gifted him some lingerie for the first time and let him take a boudoir photo shoot of me wearing it. I started sending a few more cute messages. I tried to make more time to cuddle with him when he would ask. I tried to give him more hugs. I tried to thank him more for picking up around the house. I wrote him a cute letter and surprised him with a few gifts for Easter. However, about a month ago, we had another one of those conversations. Except this time the first things he brought up were 'wondering what else is out there' and talking about how other girls are always complimenting him. Again came the walls and extra defensiveness. I ended up writing him a letter talking about how I didn't know if I could ever be what he wanted me to be and that maybe he should think about calling things off. This was obviously a defense mechanism to try to beat him to the punch line and talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy. Three weeks later he would sit me down and tell me he wanted to know what else was out there again and that he didn't know if he could go through with marrying me. My efforts did not feel like enough for him and I understand why. I was having a hard time connecting my emotions with my actions which made my actions seem reactionary and not genuine or provoked by love.
I have been through a lot more trauma in my life than I realized. My dad was in the Navy while I was growing up. We had to move every three years. A very pivotal point in my life was when we moved when I was in the 6th grade. I lived right next door to my best friend. I was finding my love for math and theater. I also played soccer and was a Girl Scout. When we moved, I became very depressed, though I didn't understand that's what it was at the time. I stopped all of my extracurricular activities. I stopped getting too close to people because I knew I would have to move or they would have to move eventually. I mostly stayed in my room and kept to myself, even from my family. I also have struggled with anxiety for as long as I can remember. Then, in my senior year of high school, I got my first-ever boyfriend. We were in a relationship for over 4 years. In that relationship, I would always be the one to try to talk about our problems. I would be the one who would always want longer hugs and more cuddles. But it was not a healthy relationship. We broke up and got back together many times. I found several illicit texts to other girls on multiple occasions and he would always gaslight me by saying his younger brother stole his phone or I misinterpreted the messages. I think this caused me not to want to show my emotions because it wasn't reciprocated and resulted in heartache. Then, three years ago my younger brother died in a tragic car accident at the age of 17.
When I realized I could lose the love of my life, I realized that he was right about me not being affectionate enough. I had built up walls to protect myself. I thought I had made progress on my anxiety and depression, but I realized I was wrong. I also realized that I have issues with communication, trust, and vulnerability. I was a great partner in other ways and I did express my love in other ways. I moved across the country, coast to coast, with him to a state where I didn't know anyone so that he could attend his dream school. I take care of the household. I get the majority of the groceries. I do all of the cooking. I do all of the maintenance cleaning. I take care of our 2 cats and 1 dog. I say all of those in the present tense because we currently still live together but are sleeping in separate rooms. I also financially supported him by lending him money and letting him pay less of the rent because I made more money. I accept all of him including that he has terrible time management skills, he can have a hard time controlling his emotions at times, and he is disorganized and messy. I also accepted that I would have to wait for marriage and children because of his school and accepted that he did not have a lot of free time between school, work, and his hobbies. I supported his love for his hobbies by accepting his purchasing of expensive equipment even when he owed me money, traveling to watch several events that were important to him, and traveling to see him win an award from his job. I would write heartfelt cards for every holiday. I also bought him dozens of children's books about love that I wanted us to read to our children one day.
When I realized I could lose him, I felt something change inside me. It was like I could feel a hole being blown in the wall I had built up. I felt all my love for him overwhelm me. I couldn't hug him, kiss him, or tell him I love him enough. I tried to talk to him to apologize for my behavior and how badly I'd hurt him. I tried to explain how I felt like a different person and how I really wanted to work hard on improving myself as a partner to make our relationship work. I tried to prove my words with actions. I wrote a list of things I needed to work on including communication and being more affectionate. I also wrote out a list of ways to work on those things and actually started doing the things on the list. Some of the items I had already begun to do like hug and kiss him more and tell him I love him more. I also tried to ask more questions about his interests/hobbies/day. I was more vulnerable and talked with him about my feelings more. I even initiated intimacy, something I had really only done once in a blue moon when I was intoxicated.
Despite all of my efforts, over the next two weeks, he continued to say he did not know if he could be with me and wanted to know what else was out there. He was very wavering and said multiple times "I don't know what the right decision is." He said he could not trust that my changes would last and that it was probably too late. I begged him to try couples therapy, but he refused and said "Therapy takes too long" and basically said it wasn't worth the time. He finally broke up with me after 2 weeks of going back and forth and I was devastated. He later talked to a mutual friend of ours and changed his mind about therapy. I was so happy to hear that he had changed his mind. However, now I feel like I can't even trust him anymore. He's turning into a person I don't recognize and I don't know what he's capable of anymore. I don't know if the man I love still exists. When he told me he was now agreeable to try therapy he said "We're still broken up, but I won't talk to any other girls." and then promptly said "And it will give me more time to find a place to live if things don't work out." He deleted several Instagram posts that had photos of me after he agreed to try therapy which makes me think he's not actually that open to healing our relationship. He complained to me about how he might have to take out student loans after I told him he needed to pay me for half of the rent while we're broken up and not decreased rate he had been paying me. He also "checked on me" on the night of the 3rd year anniversary of my brother's death when he heard me crying. Then he just sat on the end of the bed scrolling his phone while I cried as if he was checking on me because he felt like he had to and not because he wanted to. When I asked him if he had some sort of deadline in mind for the therapy, because he had previously mentioned that it takes too long, he said July or August and I have a suspicion that is because a girl he likes is leaving for summer break but will be back at the end of August for the next semester.
I just feel like the way he has been acting is not how you act towards someone you were in a relationship with for almost 6.5 years. Especially after saying you still love them and have no negative feelings towards them. That means even though you don't think you are a good relationship match, you should still want to treat them with respect. You should care that they are hurting during this time. You should want to comfort them in their grief of a separate event. You should mean it if you say you want to try therapy.
TL;DR : So should I break up with my ex-fiancé or should I keep fighting to get back the man I love?
2024.05.19 06:47 SeaweedSundae BF of five years suddenly unsure about relationship, and life in general.
Apologies for the long post, please bear with me. I'm really scared and confused and not sure what to do and any/all advice is appropriated.
My bf of five years and I are currently long distance but were in the planning stages of moving in together sometime this year or early next year. Around 10 days ago, he proposed the idea of maybe exploring sexual non monogamy together, and said that he'd been wondering what he really wanted in life. My initial response was bad and I own up to that and Im making a notable effort to do better. We eventually decided to compromise and say that flirting and sexting were ok, but we'd prioritize each other and wait until we're stably in person before exploring physical intimacy with other people.
The days after that, there was some tension between us, but despite my best efforts to do better and work through my paranoia, it kept feeling like he was keeping me at arms length. When asked, he would say that he kust didnt know what he wanted with his life, and he was uncertain about everything, including me. He emphasized that it wasnt anything i did, just that its something he'd been thinking about for a while. Despite this, over text he seemed to go through the motions of talking with me like his boyfriend and calling me pet names and whatnot.
I sought verbal reassurance and reaffirmation since the uncertainty of the situstion frightened me immensely. In passing, i asked "hey do you like being my boyfriend" and that caused him to just say "i dont know" and just shut down a bit. After a lot of discussion, my bf said that he just doesnt know whats going on anymore in life, and that he'd had some experiences with people asking him if he was truly happy and what he wanted to do with life. Again he emphasized that it was him and not me that was the cause of anything, but suggested maybe we should take a break while he navigates this. However, he still would like me around as his best friend.
However, we seem to have hit a wall with what a break actually looks like. I considered that we set a time frame, and are just taking time away from each other romantically to reflect and recoup, but he seems to want to do that, and also freely go on dates with other people. I would be ok with this with the condition that we plan to come back to each other, but he doesnt seem to want that. In his words, he sees a break as not being in a romantic relationship until circumstances improve and then we can reevaluate if we want to be together.
Where Im personally stuck is that I'm still in love with him, but he doesnt know what he's feeling. My heart has been shattered into a million pieces and I'm scared to take a chance on this break since its not certain that he'll want me again. I'm scared to be just his friend, i don't want that.
In a lot of ways I feel like things are stacked against me. I wanted to pursue other options like couples counseling or other support before just being friends, but he was worried about hurting me in his self discovery process. He was adamant that he wants me to be prominent in his life but i dont know that my heart can take it.
I'm in love with him and I just want things to go back to the way they were but my bf doesn't know what he wants, and also saif that he thought returning to that would be untenable, and to me seems like he doesnt want to even try to mend it.
I'm scared, and I'm confused and I don't want to just be his friend. Im haunted by songs that we shared that are our songs, and games that we played together and special memories different things illicit. Due to circumstances, its been nearly 2 years since we've seen each other in person, and the timeframe for the break is until we can see each other in person again, but I'm scared even if he sees me in person, there might just not be a spark. I'm also scared that if he dates while on break, he might just find someone better and just toss me aside..
Apologies again for the long story, and thank you if you read all the way here...
submitted by SeaweedSundae to askgaybros [link] [comments]
My bf of five years and I are currently long distance but were in the planning stages of moving in together sometime this year or early next year. Around 10 days ago, he proposed the idea of maybe exploring sexual non monogamy together, and said that he'd been wondering what he really wanted in life. My initial response was bad and I own up to that and Im making a notable effort to do better. We eventually decided to compromise and say that flirting and sexting were ok, but we'd prioritize each other and wait until we're stably in person before exploring physical intimacy with other people.
The days after that, there was some tension between us, but despite my best efforts to do better and work through my paranoia, it kept feeling like he was keeping me at arms length. When asked, he would say that he kust didnt know what he wanted with his life, and he was uncertain about everything, including me. He emphasized that it wasnt anything i did, just that its something he'd been thinking about for a while. Despite this, over text he seemed to go through the motions of talking with me like his boyfriend and calling me pet names and whatnot.
I sought verbal reassurance and reaffirmation since the uncertainty of the situstion frightened me immensely. In passing, i asked "hey do you like being my boyfriend" and that caused him to just say "i dont know" and just shut down a bit. After a lot of discussion, my bf said that he just doesnt know whats going on anymore in life, and that he'd had some experiences with people asking him if he was truly happy and what he wanted to do with life. Again he emphasized that it was him and not me that was the cause of anything, but suggested maybe we should take a break while he navigates this. However, he still would like me around as his best friend.
However, we seem to have hit a wall with what a break actually looks like. I considered that we set a time frame, and are just taking time away from each other romantically to reflect and recoup, but he seems to want to do that, and also freely go on dates with other people. I would be ok with this with the condition that we plan to come back to each other, but he doesnt seem to want that. In his words, he sees a break as not being in a romantic relationship until circumstances improve and then we can reevaluate if we want to be together.
Where Im personally stuck is that I'm still in love with him, but he doesnt know what he's feeling. My heart has been shattered into a million pieces and I'm scared to take a chance on this break since its not certain that he'll want me again. I'm scared to be just his friend, i don't want that.
In a lot of ways I feel like things are stacked against me. I wanted to pursue other options like couples counseling or other support before just being friends, but he was worried about hurting me in his self discovery process. He was adamant that he wants me to be prominent in his life but i dont know that my heart can take it.
I'm in love with him and I just want things to go back to the way they were but my bf doesn't know what he wants, and also saif that he thought returning to that would be untenable, and to me seems like he doesnt want to even try to mend it.
I'm scared, and I'm confused and I don't want to just be his friend. Im haunted by songs that we shared that are our songs, and games that we played together and special memories different things illicit. Due to circumstances, its been nearly 2 years since we've seen each other in person, and the timeframe for the break is until we can see each other in person again, but I'm scared even if he sees me in person, there might just not be a spark. I'm also scared that if he dates while on break, he might just find someone better and just toss me aside..
Apologies again for the long story, and thank you if you read all the way here...
2024.05.19 06:44 Peachbobafae Need to vent
Trigger warning: Mentions of losing a loved one and chronic illness
This has been the absolute worst year for me so far. In order; my best friend passed away, my chronic illness has gotten significantly worse, my boyfriend lost his job, and my mom has become homeless.
I’m the only one between my mom, boyfriend, and I with an income. I am struggling to make rent on my own due to my health (I call out at least once a week these days and I know I’m going to possibly lose my job but I can’t help that my endometriosis has grown onto my gallbladder and kidney).
I am also struggling to help my mom out in every which way I can. She can’t live with my boyfriend and I, but I have her sleep over every once in a while and make sure to cook her meals and let her use whatever she needs (laptop, shower, kitchen to cook, etc). I pay for her hotels when she needs a place to stay, but can’t do it anymore because I don’t make enough to cover my rent and rooms for my mom.
My boyfriend and I are on the verge of breaking up, because on top of me being the only one who has a job, I handle most of the chores. He complains when I ask him to do chores, but I am too sick to handle even basic tasks on my own. He called me entitled one night, and that lead to a fight between us because I am far from entitled. I work hard even with the state I am in.
He even asked me to pay for his haircut when my birthday is next week, and I don’t even have the money to take myself out. His response to me telling him this was, “Everyone has a birthday.” He puts his family’s birthdays first before everything else, so hearing him say this broke me.
My mental health has been absolute shit since my best friend passed away. And everything that has happened since is just building onto my stress.
I just feel so stuck because I don’t have the means to leave my boyfriend or my job, and I need surgery on top of everything.
I’m just so tired.
submitted by Peachbobafae to u/Peachbobafae [link] [comments]
This has been the absolute worst year for me so far. In order; my best friend passed away, my chronic illness has gotten significantly worse, my boyfriend lost his job, and my mom has become homeless.
I’m the only one between my mom, boyfriend, and I with an income. I am struggling to make rent on my own due to my health (I call out at least once a week these days and I know I’m going to possibly lose my job but I can’t help that my endometriosis has grown onto my gallbladder and kidney).
I am also struggling to help my mom out in every which way I can. She can’t live with my boyfriend and I, but I have her sleep over every once in a while and make sure to cook her meals and let her use whatever she needs (laptop, shower, kitchen to cook, etc). I pay for her hotels when she needs a place to stay, but can’t do it anymore because I don’t make enough to cover my rent and rooms for my mom.
My boyfriend and I are on the verge of breaking up, because on top of me being the only one who has a job, I handle most of the chores. He complains when I ask him to do chores, but I am too sick to handle even basic tasks on my own. He called me entitled one night, and that lead to a fight between us because I am far from entitled. I work hard even with the state I am in.
He even asked me to pay for his haircut when my birthday is next week, and I don’t even have the money to take myself out. His response to me telling him this was, “Everyone has a birthday.” He puts his family’s birthdays first before everything else, so hearing him say this broke me.
My mental health has been absolute shit since my best friend passed away. And everything that has happened since is just building onto my stress.
I just feel so stuck because I don’t have the means to leave my boyfriend or my job, and I need surgery on top of everything.
I’m just so tired.
2024.05.19 06:43 Dear-Investment-3514 Do I [18F] Break up with my [18M] Boyfriend?
I guess I'll start off by giving backstory. I am a (18F) in a relationship with my boyfriend(18M). We originally met back in February on a dating app, and we are long distance (of an hour away from each other), and our relationship is a secret from my dad (strict parent). My mom is aware of the relationship however because she is concerned for me getting found out, she limits my hangouts with my boyfriend. My boyfriend and I try to see each other every week, sometimes every other week.
I just want to make it clear: from the beginning of our relationship I have been the one to mess things up. Or that is how (him and me) mostly see it. I think I've come to realize it's because I have a lot of mental immaturity. From what I recall, one of the first arguments we had was my inability to communicate properly with my boyfriend. Such as: texting him small updates or, checking things he would send me on social media and not reply to his iMessage back. Very minor communication. The others were a bit more extreme. One of the more extreme ones stemmed from the whole strict parent thing. See, originally my boyfriend asked me out the first month in which we met. However, I turned him down because although I wanted to say yes, I didn't want to lie about the status of my relationship to my parents. Eventually, I wanted the two of us to become official after a few months of us talking, so I can then introduce him as my boyfriend to my parents. This created a big issue between us, in which he started developing a sense of not having security in the relationship. This would be the cause of many arguments. I think my fault in this was instead of reassuring him and making him feel heard; I would apologize over and over again trying to offer solutions. On his birthday I wrote him a long love letter and I told him I wanted to make things official, the truth is I felt pressured because a week before his birthday we had the same reoccurring argument. We've had a lot of arguments piling since then, many of them having to with me such as: making conversations about his feelings about myself, in which then he feels pressured to comfort me. Our most recent argument was completely my mistake and I recognize this.
About three weeks ago, one of my friends was preforming at my former highschool. It was going to be a concert like event in which students and their rock bands would preform. So I invited my Best Friend (18M) and my Boyfriend. (To clarify, my best friend has been my friend for 7 years and he is gay, this doesn't have to do with my best friend being a man; my boyfriend himself is comfortable with our relationship.) I had not seen my boyfriend for a week or so prior to this event and so I would constantly tell him about how I miss him and how I was looking forward to see him, hence why I invited him. Before the event started, the three of us (me, Boyfriend, and Best friend) decided to go to a cafe to get a drink since it was a 5min walk from my former highschool (where the event was being held). I thought I was giving him attention by being affectionate in holding his hand, trying to include him in conversation, and clinging to his arm would be enough: showing my boyfriend that I missed him. However, when we walked back from the cafe to line up outside the event, I noticed he was going quiet and even got out of line to sit down at a nearby bench. When we entered the event, us three sat down and my Boyfriend put his head down immediately. I knew from that, that this wasn't his vibe. After the first two songs, he got up and left (with letting me know) and went back to his car. I asked him if he was okay, and he just told me he wanted to lay down. The event was three hours, I stayed for the first hour almost two, before receiving a text from my boyfriend. In which he said "should I just leave", so I left the event and went to his car to talk to him. He told me that he felt unappreciated especially because I said I had missed him so much, that I didn't even say "thank you baby for driving an hour to be here". We ended up talking this out and we went to dinner after. The reason why I am bringing this up is because my best friend was actually quite annoyed at this. This week, me and my best friend went out to Koreatown which we were talking about my boyfriend. My best friend brought up his behavior from the event, and demonstrated the way my boyfriend had his head down expressing how annoyed it made him feel that I left early, and even missed some of my friend performance which was the reason why I went. I made the mistake of mentioning this to my boyfriend. He got extremely upset, and took my best friend as mocking him and disrespecting him, he got mad at me for not defending him. This was a very big argument. My boyfriend has expressed and even shown throughout the arguements we've had, that he is losing his patience and feels as though I am abusing him ;"Let me continue to beat you mentally and ask for forgiveness with no promise of a promising future for myself in change (he told me this)". Lately, although I should have been doing this from the beginning have been trying to put my best foot forward in changing attitude, I've been trying to be more supportive and not making conversations about myself, in making sure that he knows that I understand him, however I keep messing up and its very frustrating to me.
I've talked to my therapist and my own mom about my problems, because I really want to stay with my boyfriend and I really want to change. My last relationship I was sexually and verbally abused, and although me and my boyfriend have a lot of problems he really is the best and the first person I have seen a future with. I sometimes struggle with the trauma from my last relationship, which is why sometimes I get scared of expressing myself (my ex would call me stupid or a manipulator when I expressed myself so I get scared of retaliation). My boyfriend gets sometimes frustrated when I explain this because he tells me "well I'm not him and you know that".
Although I love this person, I don't know whether to break up with him or not. We have both stayed with each other because we want to work things out, however as he has expressed to me and I have noticed: this creating an unhealthy environment and he feels like he is in an unhealthy environment. I never want to keep my boyfriend in an environment in which he feels unsafe and not happy. A lot of the time I worry because of the several arguements we have had, that he is not happy but yet he stays. I cry a lot and I feel terrible. I never open to my mom about things ever but, I did the last argument because of how terrible I feel about it all. I feel like I'm not enough. I find myself trying but even I know my efforts aren't enough for this relationship. Any advice will help which is why I've taken it to here. I can't fully explain my whole relationship and timeline of events but hopefully this was enough information (if not I will try to update this) thank you if you read this.
submitted by Dear-Investment-3514 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
I just want to make it clear: from the beginning of our relationship I have been the one to mess things up. Or that is how (him and me) mostly see it. I think I've come to realize it's because I have a lot of mental immaturity. From what I recall, one of the first arguments we had was my inability to communicate properly with my boyfriend. Such as: texting him small updates or, checking things he would send me on social media and not reply to his iMessage back. Very minor communication. The others were a bit more extreme. One of the more extreme ones stemmed from the whole strict parent thing. See, originally my boyfriend asked me out the first month in which we met. However, I turned him down because although I wanted to say yes, I didn't want to lie about the status of my relationship to my parents. Eventually, I wanted the two of us to become official after a few months of us talking, so I can then introduce him as my boyfriend to my parents. This created a big issue between us, in which he started developing a sense of not having security in the relationship. This would be the cause of many arguments. I think my fault in this was instead of reassuring him and making him feel heard; I would apologize over and over again trying to offer solutions. On his birthday I wrote him a long love letter and I told him I wanted to make things official, the truth is I felt pressured because a week before his birthday we had the same reoccurring argument. We've had a lot of arguments piling since then, many of them having to with me such as: making conversations about his feelings about myself, in which then he feels pressured to comfort me. Our most recent argument was completely my mistake and I recognize this.
About three weeks ago, one of my friends was preforming at my former highschool. It was going to be a concert like event in which students and their rock bands would preform. So I invited my Best Friend (18M) and my Boyfriend. (To clarify, my best friend has been my friend for 7 years and he is gay, this doesn't have to do with my best friend being a man; my boyfriend himself is comfortable with our relationship.) I had not seen my boyfriend for a week or so prior to this event and so I would constantly tell him about how I miss him and how I was looking forward to see him, hence why I invited him. Before the event started, the three of us (me, Boyfriend, and Best friend) decided to go to a cafe to get a drink since it was a 5min walk from my former highschool (where the event was being held). I thought I was giving him attention by being affectionate in holding his hand, trying to include him in conversation, and clinging to his arm would be enough: showing my boyfriend that I missed him. However, when we walked back from the cafe to line up outside the event, I noticed he was going quiet and even got out of line to sit down at a nearby bench. When we entered the event, us three sat down and my Boyfriend put his head down immediately. I knew from that, that this wasn't his vibe. After the first two songs, he got up and left (with letting me know) and went back to his car. I asked him if he was okay, and he just told me he wanted to lay down. The event was three hours, I stayed for the first hour almost two, before receiving a text from my boyfriend. In which he said "should I just leave", so I left the event and went to his car to talk to him. He told me that he felt unappreciated especially because I said I had missed him so much, that I didn't even say "thank you baby for driving an hour to be here". We ended up talking this out and we went to dinner after. The reason why I am bringing this up is because my best friend was actually quite annoyed at this. This week, me and my best friend went out to Koreatown which we were talking about my boyfriend. My best friend brought up his behavior from the event, and demonstrated the way my boyfriend had his head down expressing how annoyed it made him feel that I left early, and even missed some of my friend performance which was the reason why I went. I made the mistake of mentioning this to my boyfriend. He got extremely upset, and took my best friend as mocking him and disrespecting him, he got mad at me for not defending him. This was a very big argument. My boyfriend has expressed and even shown throughout the arguements we've had, that he is losing his patience and feels as though I am abusing him ;"Let me continue to beat you mentally and ask for forgiveness with no promise of a promising future for myself in change (he told me this)". Lately, although I should have been doing this from the beginning have been trying to put my best foot forward in changing attitude, I've been trying to be more supportive and not making conversations about myself, in making sure that he knows that I understand him, however I keep messing up and its very frustrating to me.
I've talked to my therapist and my own mom about my problems, because I really want to stay with my boyfriend and I really want to change. My last relationship I was sexually and verbally abused, and although me and my boyfriend have a lot of problems he really is the best and the first person I have seen a future with. I sometimes struggle with the trauma from my last relationship, which is why sometimes I get scared of expressing myself (my ex would call me stupid or a manipulator when I expressed myself so I get scared of retaliation). My boyfriend gets sometimes frustrated when I explain this because he tells me "well I'm not him and you know that".
Although I love this person, I don't know whether to break up with him or not. We have both stayed with each other because we want to work things out, however as he has expressed to me and I have noticed: this creating an unhealthy environment and he feels like he is in an unhealthy environment. I never want to keep my boyfriend in an environment in which he feels unsafe and not happy. A lot of the time I worry because of the several arguements we have had, that he is not happy but yet he stays. I cry a lot and I feel terrible. I never open to my mom about things ever but, I did the last argument because of how terrible I feel about it all. I feel like I'm not enough. I find myself trying but even I know my efforts aren't enough for this relationship. Any advice will help which is why I've taken it to here. I can't fully explain my whole relationship and timeline of events but hopefully this was enough information (if not I will try to update this) thank you if you read this.
2024.05.19 06:43 NotYourAverageBot2 Candles
As the morning sun finally breaks through the night I am already getting dressed for my first day of second grade. As I’m struggling to button up my white collar shirt my dad walks into the room.
“You getting ready for school champ?” He asks me, clearly proud of how grown I looked.
“You betcha Dad!” I exclaimed as a wide smile beamed across my face,
Dad bent down and helped me finish buttoning my shirt.
“So…” he started asking, “what’s the plan for today? You know,” he paused trying to find the right words, “so you don’t have another one of those outbursts?”
These “outbursts” as Dad called them weren’t really outbursts. I’d had outbursts before but these were different. I’ve only had a handful of these breakdowns but they were the worst thing I’d ever experienced. It felt almost like someone was clawing into my skull. The pain was almost unbearable. Then there were the voices… ugh, I shuddered thinking about the voices.
It was because of these outbursts that we had to move cities. They were so bad I was kicked out of every school in Saint Louis.
Now that we moved to my crazy old grandmother’s house in Maryland, my parents were hoping I’d grow out of the breakdowns. They had tried everything they could to “fix” me but to no prevail. No matter how many doctors or therapists I went to none of them could ever find out what was wrong with me. It made me feel hopeless like I was doomed to be the weird kid for the rest of my life.
I still remember my 6th birthday all too well. I had invited every kid in my class to my party and was so excited to have people over.
You see, I had never had a real friend before and I was hoping by having people over at my house I could finally make one. That’s how dumb of a thought process I had in kindergarten. Now that I was in second grade I realized that wasn’t how the world worked. When it came time to have my party no one except my older brother Nathan and my older sister Jess showed up.
“I’m sorry Weston.” I remember Nathan saying, “Maybe next year you’ll have friends.”
Nathan didn’t mean that in a mean way but it sure felt like that. That year when I blew out my candles all I wished for was a single friend, a friend whom I could talk to, a friend whom I could play with and laugh with, a friend who cared about me.
But like most wishes, it never came true. And now here I am ready to reinvent myself and ready to try again. Hopefully, things were different in Baltimore, hopefully the kids were nicer.
“I’ll try not to freak out again Dad.” I finally replied to him as he finished tying my navy blue tie around my neck. “I promise.”
“I know you will Westy. I know. Just please try to take deep breaths like the kind therapist told you to.”
“Dad,” I said longingly, “I told you those silly techniques don’t work.”
“They worked for me.” My older sister Jess said as she walked into the room and sat on my bed, “I used to have the same outbursts happen to me.” She paused, “Matter of fact, the feelings never go away, you just learn to mask them.” She looked at Dad, “That’s just what the Man does to you.
“Jessica!” My dad scolded, “Stop scaring your brother. It’s his first day after all.”
“Weston.” He said turning to me, “Don’t listen to her. Do you understand me?”
I nodded submissively,
Dad turned and walked out of the room leaving me and Jess to finish getting ready.
“He doesn’t get it Westy.” She said to me once she knew he was out of earshot, “But just so you know it gets worse when he visits you again.”
“Again?” I replied in horror, “Jess you’ve got to be kidding me.”
“I’m not I swear Weston. Now normally I wouldn’t be telling you this at your age but you seem pretty mature so I think you can handle it.”
She was wrong, I couldn’t handle it.
"Weston, Jess!” My dad yelled from the kitchen, “Time for school!”
I arrived at school in my dad’s big, grey, Chevy Silverado and hopped down on the curb. I waved goodbye to my dad while Jess grabbed my hand and walked me to my classroom.
Ever since mom died, Jess has stepped up to be the motherly figure in my life though never fully replacing my mom. My mom was a beautiful woman with brown chestnut-colored locks of curly hair and beautiful blue eyes as pale but vibrant as the ocean on a cloudy day. I loved my mom but ever since the Man first showed up at our doorstep she was never quite the same. After the incident with the Man, she turned into a hollow shell of a person. Until, until she’d had enough.
It was right after my 6th birthday when the Man came. Maybe he was the answer to my birthday wish. In some ways, I guess he was. It was raining that day. I can still hear the pitter patter of the raindrops hitting the pavement outside my house when all of a sudden there was a knock on my door. I ran to open it, having not been able to sense danger at such a naive age, and was surprised when a tall man wearing an all-black attire stood there staring at me. When my mom saw who it was from the kitchen she immediately dropped the knife in her hand and started running toward me but not before the Man grabbed me by the shoulder and yanked me out the door. I remember being frozen in fear, not sure whether to cry or scream. I ended up doing nothing. The man shoved me into the back seat of his car and drove off as my mom came running down the driveway. I couldn’t tell if she was crying or if it was just the rain rolling down her face but I remember wondering whether or not I’d ever see her again.
I think about this now as I walked up the steps into the elementary school with my sister’s hand in mine. Once we reach the outside of my classroom, I turn and stare at my sister.
“I don’t wanna go in there,” I said, my anxiety acting up again,
“Come on Weston,” She replied, “I’m sure it will be fine.”
I usually trusted my sister when it came to stuff like this but this time it felt different, something felt wrong. Either way, I decided to suppress my fear and turn to the classroom door. Too short to look into the window of the door, I reach up and turn the handle instead, without looking inside to evaluate the classroom. I crack open the door and peer inside, what I see when I open the door makes me scream at the top of my lungs with fear. I’m struck with fear and can feel the voices coming back.
The Man was sitting at the teacher’s desk, coffee in hand, feet resting on the desk itself.
“It’s nice to see you again William.” He said as a maniacal grin crossed his face,
“Remember me?”
submitted by NotYourAverageBot2 to nosleep [link] [comments]
“You getting ready for school champ?” He asks me, clearly proud of how grown I looked.
“You betcha Dad!” I exclaimed as a wide smile beamed across my face,
Dad bent down and helped me finish buttoning my shirt.
“So…” he started asking, “what’s the plan for today? You know,” he paused trying to find the right words, “so you don’t have another one of those outbursts?”
These “outbursts” as Dad called them weren’t really outbursts. I’d had outbursts before but these were different. I’ve only had a handful of these breakdowns but they were the worst thing I’d ever experienced. It felt almost like someone was clawing into my skull. The pain was almost unbearable. Then there were the voices… ugh, I shuddered thinking about the voices.
It was because of these outbursts that we had to move cities. They were so bad I was kicked out of every school in Saint Louis.
Now that we moved to my crazy old grandmother’s house in Maryland, my parents were hoping I’d grow out of the breakdowns. They had tried everything they could to “fix” me but to no prevail. No matter how many doctors or therapists I went to none of them could ever find out what was wrong with me. It made me feel hopeless like I was doomed to be the weird kid for the rest of my life.
I still remember my 6th birthday all too well. I had invited every kid in my class to my party and was so excited to have people over.
You see, I had never had a real friend before and I was hoping by having people over at my house I could finally make one. That’s how dumb of a thought process I had in kindergarten. Now that I was in second grade I realized that wasn’t how the world worked. When it came time to have my party no one except my older brother Nathan and my older sister Jess showed up.
“I’m sorry Weston.” I remember Nathan saying, “Maybe next year you’ll have friends.”
Nathan didn’t mean that in a mean way but it sure felt like that. That year when I blew out my candles all I wished for was a single friend, a friend whom I could talk to, a friend whom I could play with and laugh with, a friend who cared about me.
But like most wishes, it never came true. And now here I am ready to reinvent myself and ready to try again. Hopefully, things were different in Baltimore, hopefully the kids were nicer.
“I’ll try not to freak out again Dad.” I finally replied to him as he finished tying my navy blue tie around my neck. “I promise.”
“I know you will Westy. I know. Just please try to take deep breaths like the kind therapist told you to.”
“Dad,” I said longingly, “I told you those silly techniques don’t work.”
“They worked for me.” My older sister Jess said as she walked into the room and sat on my bed, “I used to have the same outbursts happen to me.” She paused, “Matter of fact, the feelings never go away, you just learn to mask them.” She looked at Dad, “That’s just what the Man does to you.
“Jessica!” My dad scolded, “Stop scaring your brother. It’s his first day after all.”
“Weston.” He said turning to me, “Don’t listen to her. Do you understand me?”
I nodded submissively,
Dad turned and walked out of the room leaving me and Jess to finish getting ready.
“He doesn’t get it Westy.” She said to me once she knew he was out of earshot, “But just so you know it gets worse when he visits you again.”
“Again?” I replied in horror, “Jess you’ve got to be kidding me.”
“I’m not I swear Weston. Now normally I wouldn’t be telling you this at your age but you seem pretty mature so I think you can handle it.”
She was wrong, I couldn’t handle it.
"Weston, Jess!” My dad yelled from the kitchen, “Time for school!”
I arrived at school in my dad’s big, grey, Chevy Silverado and hopped down on the curb. I waved goodbye to my dad while Jess grabbed my hand and walked me to my classroom.
Ever since mom died, Jess has stepped up to be the motherly figure in my life though never fully replacing my mom. My mom was a beautiful woman with brown chestnut-colored locks of curly hair and beautiful blue eyes as pale but vibrant as the ocean on a cloudy day. I loved my mom but ever since the Man first showed up at our doorstep she was never quite the same. After the incident with the Man, she turned into a hollow shell of a person. Until, until she’d had enough.
It was right after my 6th birthday when the Man came. Maybe he was the answer to my birthday wish. In some ways, I guess he was. It was raining that day. I can still hear the pitter patter of the raindrops hitting the pavement outside my house when all of a sudden there was a knock on my door. I ran to open it, having not been able to sense danger at such a naive age, and was surprised when a tall man wearing an all-black attire stood there staring at me. When my mom saw who it was from the kitchen she immediately dropped the knife in her hand and started running toward me but not before the Man grabbed me by the shoulder and yanked me out the door. I remember being frozen in fear, not sure whether to cry or scream. I ended up doing nothing. The man shoved me into the back seat of his car and drove off as my mom came running down the driveway. I couldn’t tell if she was crying or if it was just the rain rolling down her face but I remember wondering whether or not I’d ever see her again.
I think about this now as I walked up the steps into the elementary school with my sister’s hand in mine. Once we reach the outside of my classroom, I turn and stare at my sister.
“I don’t wanna go in there,” I said, my anxiety acting up again,
“Come on Weston,” She replied, “I’m sure it will be fine.”
I usually trusted my sister when it came to stuff like this but this time it felt different, something felt wrong. Either way, I decided to suppress my fear and turn to the classroom door. Too short to look into the window of the door, I reach up and turn the handle instead, without looking inside to evaluate the classroom. I crack open the door and peer inside, what I see when I open the door makes me scream at the top of my lungs with fear. I’m struck with fear and can feel the voices coming back.
The Man was sitting at the teacher’s desk, coffee in hand, feet resting on the desk itself.
“It’s nice to see you again William.” He said as a maniacal grin crossed his face,
“Remember me?”
2024.05.19 06:41 Holy_Oblivion Current Situation within Christian Nationalism Nationwide
Salutations and greetings brothers and sisters in Christ.
Having posted last week about the current situation and end state/long term objectives, I would like to identity what the current state of the country is in relative openness to meeting our criteria. A lot of what I write comes from research sources from government websites (such as the US Census Data), research websites from trusted sources (such as the PRRI), or good primary source content from creators or first-person perspectives. Today I want to share a report from PRRI that I references previously in my post about end state and objectives. This will lay out what states have the highest concentrations of support for Christian Nationalism based on research, large groups/concentrations of Orthodox Churches, Large groups/Concentrations of Mainline Protestant churches, and then large groups/concentrations of Evangelical concentrations/groups. Using this data we can distil down to the various different states that would have the highest success rate for growing support for our objectives and end states.
Looking at the data from PRRI: Data Here You can see the breakdown of the different states which have high or higher percentage of support to the cause of Christian Nationalism. What this means for us, is it allows us to narrow down to our targeted 38 states we need to achieve our objectives. While we want to be advancing on all fronts, these 38 will have the highest chance of making mounting or achievable impact on Christendom at large.
As always, please let me know what you think and what can be done to improve. Is this too wordy? Is everyone able to follow along fairly well? Let me know or join the conversation!
submitted by Holy_Oblivion to Christian_Nationalism [link] [comments]
Having posted last week about the current situation and end state/long term objectives, I would like to identity what the current state of the country is in relative openness to meeting our criteria. A lot of what I write comes from research sources from government websites (such as the US Census Data), research websites from trusted sources (such as the PRRI), or good primary source content from creators or first-person perspectives. Today I want to share a report from PRRI that I references previously in my post about end state and objectives. This will lay out what states have the highest concentrations of support for Christian Nationalism based on research, large groups/concentrations of Orthodox Churches, Large groups/Concentrations of Mainline Protestant churches, and then large groups/concentrations of Evangelical concentrations/groups. Using this data we can distil down to the various different states that would have the highest success rate for growing support for our objectives and end states.
- Large groups of mainline protestants function as a potential recruiting opprotunity. As these churches become liberalized and lose membership/die out, it allows for those aligned with our values to recruit and convert these individuals co-oping them into the cause.
- Large congregations of Orthodox Churches can be used as a staging ground for the Neo-Orthodoxy revival within America and support the conversion of these churches into an Autocephalous Western Right Apostolic Holy Orthodox Church of America. Our objective number 1 for achieving our end state.
- Large support for Christian Nationalism already exists within Evangelical Christianity. This means while conversion to the Neo-Orthodoxy movement to achieve our first objective, it is not strictly necessary if individuals join Evangelical Christian groups which support Christian Nationalism.
- These three sources of Christian believers to support the desired end state for Christian Nationalism is essential.
Looking at the data from PRRI: Data Here You can see the breakdown of the different states which have high or higher percentage of support to the cause of Christian Nationalism. What this means for us, is it allows us to narrow down to our targeted 38 states we need to achieve our objectives. While we want to be advancing on all fronts, these 38 will have the highest chance of making mounting or achievable impact on Christendom at large.
- As previously stated: "New York, Massachusetts, Oregon, Nevada, Maryland, Virginia, Illinois, California, Washington, Connecticut, and New Jersey are below the 25% general support for Christian Nationalism." What this means is that while we should try and spread the cause in all directions to all different states, these states have the lowest chance of it catching flame or finding a foundation.
- Interestingly enough however, many of these states have large concentrations of old Orthodoxy residing within them: California, Massachusetts, Illinois, New York, and New Jersey all have large amounts of Orthodox Concentrations. Data Here Sadly they are drowned out by large amounts of non-Christians within these locations. New York, Illinois, and California have large amounts of Mainline Protestant which have the highest amounts of potential pickups of those leaving the denominations after becoming super liberalized towards Orthodox/Christian Nationalists sympathetic groups. Data Here
- What this means is that while growth opportunity exists in New York, California, and Illinois we will struggle to gain and maintain a majority within the state just do to the demographic nature and the percentage game. Not that it is not worth our time, but we cannot rely on it. That said we could focus efforts in select swing districts at the local/congressional level in New York, California, and Illinois to possibly bring about pushing them towards the bubble and eroding hyper liberal power bases.
- As previously stated: "Wisconsin, New Hampshire, Vermont, Maine, Arizona, Utah, Rhode Island, Delaware, Colorado, Hawaii, Pennsylvania, and Michigan are on the 25-29% cusp of supporting Christian Nationalism. Growth opportunity exists but could easily swing the other way.". What this means is that we would need to focus on these swing states and select at least one to focus our attention to bring it above the 30% thresh-hold for sustained and consistent push towards the cause to for fill our objectives.
- The largest concentrations of Mainline Protestant denominations and Orthodoxy residing within them is Pennsylvania, with Michigan and Wisconsin in solid second place leading the others. Arizona and Colorado are behind Michigan and Wisconsin but hold a solid base in both Mainline and Orthodoxy. Meaning it would not take much to swing Colorado and Arizona to be more inline with our stated goals that we need to achieve.
- Out of the rest, Hawaii might be the biggest outlier and most difficult to change do to geographic reasons. While a solid base for what we wish to accomplish exists, the demographics of such a place are working against us in % of population vs base. I would advocate for throwing out Hawaii and placing it into the below general support category.
- Utah is a special case. Mormons, which would best be classified as a wild card, dominate Utah politics along with other Christian denominations. Forward progress will be difficult in Utah, but it might be more of a dialogue than a genuine need for conversion/bringing Utah into alignment.
- What this means is that Delaware, Vermont, Rhode Island, New Hampshire, and Maine will be the long haul in this process to round out our 38 required states to align with the Anglosphere Western Right Orthodoxy / support for Christian nationalism. Naturally Vermont and Delaware will present interesting challenges. It would require demographic changes and construction of large amounts of mission work and proselytizing. Alternatives would have to be sought for these two otherwise if needed: Viriginia and New Jersey are likely candidates given the high number of Orthodoxy or Mainline protestants vs Delaware and Vermont.
- Alabama, Alaksa, Arizonia, Arkansas, Colorado, Delaware*, Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, New Hampshire, New Jersey*, New Mexico, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah**, Vermont*, Virgina*, West Virginia, Wisconsin, and Wyoming.
- Delaware and Vermont can be changed for New Jersey and Virgina respectively which is the reason for the call out. Utah is also a special case given its high Mormon population.
- Colorado, New Mexico, Texas, and Arizona have unique opportunities with the largest growing non-white Christian Nationalists groups: Hispanics who are Evangelicals. Continued growth in this area can eventually turn all four corners into solid supporters for our socio-cultural fabric which we wish to layout. Of them, Colorado faces the most pushback but growing areas of support.
- Different regions within the 38 states are going to have to move/work in different ways to achieve our objectives. Just because a state has +30% of Christian Nationalists support already AND might traditionally thought politically as a "red" state, that does not mean they align with our core values or end state. New Mexico and Arizona are wildly different than Tennessee, Alabama, and Georgia. Requiring different approaches to changing the views on a local level.
- The flexibility of Mainline and Evangelical Protestantism is simultaneously a blessing and a curse. The common faith shared across state borders and regions does not always align culturally or politically. One socio-cultural norm must exist. While sub-cultures are welcome, they cannot deviate from the overarching Anglosphere cultural norm which must dominate to align the whole country with our values and preserve the Republic.
As always, please let me know what you think and what can be done to improve. Is this too wordy? Is everyone able to follow along fairly well? Let me know or join the conversation!
2024.05.19 06:41 Sweet-Count2557 Best Restaurants in Rapid City Sd
 | Best Restaurants in Rapid City Sd Welcome to our culinary adventure through Rapid City, South Dakota! Prepare to indulge in a smorgasbord of flavors as we uncover the best restaurants this vibrant city has to offer.From the aromatic spices of Everest Cuisine to the sizzling steaks at Delmonico Grill, there's something to satisfy every craving. Quench your thirst at Independent Ale House or satisfy your taco cravings at Eddies Tacos RC.Join us as we embark on a gastronomic journey through Rapid City. Let's dig in!Key TakeawaysEverest Cuisine, Kathmandu Bistro, and Qu Pasa? Cantina offer authentic Indian, Nepalese, and Tibetan cuisine with must-try dishes like vegetable samosa, mixed vegetable curry, chicken tikka masala, and fish tacos.Delmonico Grill is an upscale steakhouse known for its romantic setting and seasonal meals crafted by chefs. Must-try dishes include bacon-wrapped shrimp, soup of the day, and On Green Dolphin Street Ribeye.Independent Ale House is a laid-back tap house with a wide selection of beers, pizzas, and salads. Must-try dishes include handcrafted beers, Alien with an Attitude, Caesar salad, and spicy chicken pizza.Tallys Silver Spoon is a landmark dining place since 1930 that offers sumptuous meals made with fresh ingredients. Highly recommended by locals, it is known for sourcing ingredients from local food growers.Everest Cuisine, Kathmandu Bistro, and Qu Pasa? Cantina: Authentic Indian, Nepalese, and Tibetan CuisineOur favorite restaurants in Rapid City, SD for authentic Indian, Nepalese, and Tibetan cuisine are Everest Cuisine, Kathmandu Bistro, and Qu Pasa? Cantina. These establishments offer unique dining experiences with a diverse range of tastes.At Everest Cuisine, you can indulge in traditional dishes like vegetable samosa, mixed vegetable curry, and chicken tikka masala. For those seeking a more adventurous palate, Qu Pasa? Cantina serves up alligator tikka masala and combo biryani. Kathmandu Bistro offers a fusion of flavors with dishes like shrimp Kadai and reshmi kebab.Everest Cuisine, located in downtown Rapid City, provides a welcoming atmosphere with friendly staff. The restaurant's interior reflects the rich cultural heritage of Nepal and India. The menu is filled with mouthwatering options that cater to both vegetarians and meat lovers. The fragrant aromas and bold spices will transport you to the streets of Kathmandu or the bustling markets of Mumbai.Kathmandu Bistro, also located downtown, offers a cozy ambiance with warm lighting and authentic decor. The chefs at Kathmandu Bistro are skilled in the art of creating flavorful dishes that showcase the best of Nepalese and Indian cuisine. From the first bite, you can taste the freshness of the ingredients and the care that goes into each dish.Qu Pasa? Cantina, situated in the heart of Rapid City, is a two-floor Mexican restaurant that stands out for its wide selection of tequila. The simple yet attractive architecture adds to the overall dining experience. The must-try dish at Qu Pasa? Cantina is their fish tacos, which are bursting with flavor and served with all the traditional toppings.When it comes to places to eat in Rapid City, these three restaurants are top contenders for anyone craving authentic Indian, Nepalese, and Tibetan cuisine. Whether you're a local or a visitor, you won't be disappointed with the flavors and dining experiences they have to offer.Delmonico Grill: Upscale Steakhouse With a Romantic SettingFor an upscale steakhouse with a romantic setting, Delmonico Grill offers a dining experience like no other. Founded by local chef Pete Franklin, this fine dining establishment is known for its exquisite seasonal meals and elegant ambiance. From the moment you step inside, you'll be greeted by the warm and inviting atmosphere, perfect for a special date night or anniversary celebration.Delmonico Grill takes pride in sourcing the highest quality ingredients to create their culinary masterpieces. Each dish is carefully crafted by their talented team of chefs, ensuring a delectable and unforgettable meal. Start your evening with the tantalizing bacon-wrapped shrimp, a perfect combination of smoky flavors and succulent textures. Pair it with the soup of the day, a comforting and flavorful option that changes daily.When it comes to the main course, the On Green Dolphin Street Ribeye is a must-try. This perfectly cooked steak is tender and juicy, offering a melt-in-your-mouth experience that will leave you craving for more. Accompanied by a variety of handcrafted side dishes, such as creamy mashed potatoes or grilled asparagus, each bite is a symphony of flavors.The knowledgeable and attentive staff at Delmonico Grill are always on hand to guide you through the menu and offer recommendations. Whether you're a steak aficionado or looking to explore new culinary horizons, they'll ensure that your dining experience exceeds your expectations.With its upscale atmosphere, exceptional cuisine, and romantic setting, Delmonico Grill is the ideal choice for those seeking a special dining experience. Indulge in the finest cuts of meat, savor the exquisite flavors, and create lasting memories at this remarkable steakhouse.Independent Ale House: Known for Beers, Pizza, and SaladsWe can't wait to tell you about Independent Ale House, known for their wide selection of beers, delicious pizza, and fresh salads. Here's why you should pay them a visit:First true tap house in Rapid City: Independent Ale House takes pride in being the first establishment of its kind in the city. With 50 beers on rotation, they offer a diverse selection that will surely satisfy any beer lover's cravings. Whether you prefer a hoppy IPA, a smooth stout, or a refreshing cider, they've something for everyone.Laid-back atmosphere with friendly bar staff: The moment you step into Independent Ale House, you'll feel a sense of freedom and relaxation. The laid-back atmosphere, combined with the friendly and knowledgeable bar staff, creates an inviting environment where you can unwind and enjoy your time with friends or family.Must-try dishes: While Independent Ale House is known for its beers, they also offer a mouthwatering selection of food. Don't miss out on their handcrafted beers, such as the popular Alien with an Attitude. Pair your drink with a fresh Caesar salad or indulge in their spicy chicken or chicken, bacon, and ranch pizzas for a satisfying meal.Now that you know what Independent Ale House has to offer, get ready to satisfy your cravings for great beer, pizza, and salads. But before you head out, let's move on to the next section about 'Eddies Tacos RC: Family-Owned Mexican Food Truck'.Eddies Tacos RC: Family-Owned Mexican Food TruckBut don't overlook Eddies Tacos RC, a family-owned Mexican food truck that offers a unique setup and a menu filled with tasty options. This hidden gem is a must-visit for those craving authentic Mexican flavors in Rapid City. Eddies Tacos RC is known for its vibrant and flavorful dishes that are sure to satisfy your taste buds.The food truck is run by a warm and welcoming family who puts their heart and soul into every dish they serve. The setup is simple yet inviting, with colorful decorations and a friendly atmosphere that adds to the overall dining experience. Whether you're grabbing a quick bite or looking to cater a special event, Eddies Tacos RC has got you covered.When it comes to the menu, Eddies Tacos RC offers a wide variety of options to choose from. Their all-meat combo burrito is a fan favorite, packed with juicy meats and topped with fresh salsa and guacamole. If you prefer tacos, you can't go wrong with their taco plate, filled with your choice of meat and accompanied by flavorful toppings. And for those who love quesadillas, their meaty quesadilla is a must-try, oozing with melted cheese and savory fillings.As we transition to the next section about Tallys Silver Spoon, another iconic dining place in Rapid City, it's worth mentioning that Eddies Tacos RC perfectly embodies the freedom and diversity of cuisine in this city. With their mouthwatering Mexican dishes, this family-owned food truck adds a unique flavor to the culinary scene of Rapid City.Tallys Silver Spoon: Landmark Dining Place Since 1930As we delve into the topic of Tallys Silver Spoon, a landmark dining place since 1930, we're transported to a bygone era of culinary excellence in Rapid City, SD. This historic restaurant holds a special place in the hearts of locals and visitors alike, offering a taste of tradition and a glimpse into the past.Here are three reasons why Tallys Silver Spoon continues to be a beloved dining destination:Rich History: Tallys Silver Spoon has been serving the community for over 90 years, making it one of the oldest restaurants in the area. Its longstanding presence is a testament to its commitment to quality and exceptional service. Stepping inside the restaurant feels like stepping back in time, with its charming decor and vintage ambiance.Upscale Dining Experience: Over the years, Tallys Silver Spoon has transformed from a humble cafe to an upscale eatery. The restaurant prides itself on using fresh ingredients sourced from local food growers, ensuring that every dish is bursting with flavor and quality. From delectable seafood to mouthwatering steaks, the menu offers a wide range of options for every palate.Local Recommendation: Tallys Silver Spoon comes highly recommended by locals, who appreciate its rich history and consistently delicious food. Whether you're a first-time visitor or a regular patron, the friendly staff and warm atmosphere make you feel right at home. It's a place where memories are made and cherished.Texas Roadhouse: Popular Steak Restaurant Founded in 1993Let's explore Texas Roadhouse, a popular steak restaurant founded in 1993, known for its savory American dishes and friendly staff.Texas Roadhouse is a favorite among locals and tourists alike for its delicious steaks and lively atmosphere. As soon as you step inside, you'll be greeted by the mouthwatering aroma of seasoned meats sizzling on the grill.The menu at Texas Roadhouse offers a wide range of options, from juicy steaks cooked to perfection to fall-off-the-bone ribs that are sure to satisfy any carnivorous cravings. One of their most popular dishes is the Prime Rib, a tender and flavorful cut of meat that's sure to leave you wanting more. For those looking for a taste of the South, their Fall-of-the-Bone Ribs are a must-try, slathered in a tangy barbecue sauce that will have your taste buds dancing.But Texas Roadhouse isn't just about the steaks. Their handcrafted side dishes are equally as impressive. From their buttery mashed potatoes to their crispy seasoned fries, each side dish is made with care and attention to detail. And don't forget to save room for their famous homemade rolls, served warm and accompanied by a delicious cinnamon butter.What sets Texas Roadhouse apart from other steak restaurants is its friendly and energetic staff. The servers go above and beyond to make sure you have a memorable dining experience. They engage in lively banter, perform line dances, and even let you choose your favorite songs on the jukebox.Frequently Asked QuestionsWhat Are the Vegetarian Options Available at Everest Cuisine, Kathmandu Bistro, and Qu Pasa? Cantina?At Everest Cuisine, Kathmandu Bistro, and Qu Pasa? Cantina, we offer a variety of vegetarian options.At Everest Cuisine, you can try the vegetable samosa, mixed vegetable curry, and the combo biryani.Kathmandu Bistro has delicious vegetarian dishes like the vegetable samosa and the mixed vegetable curry.Qu Pasa? Cantina offers vegetarian options like the Caesar salad and the spicy chicken pizza.These restaurants provide diverse and flavorful vegetarian choices for those seeking a meat-free dining experience.Can You Provide More Information About the Seasonal Meals Offered at Delmonico Grill?At Delmonico Grill, we offer a delightful array of seasonal meals that are crafted by our talented chefs.Our fine dining experience is set in a romantic ambiance, perfect for a special occasion.From the bacon-wrapped shrimp to the On Green Dolphin Street Ribeye, our must-try dishes are sure to tantalize your taste buds.With a commitment to using fresh and quality ingredients, Delmonico Grill is a top choice for an unforgettable culinary experience in Rapid City.How Many Different Types of Beers Are Available at Independent Ale House?At Independent Ale House, you can choose from a rotating selection of 50 different types of beers. We offer a diverse range of craft beers, ensuring that there's something for everyone's taste.Our laid-back atmosphere and friendly bar staff create a welcoming environment to enjoy your favorite brews.Whether you're a beer enthusiast or just looking to try something new, Independent Ale House is the perfect spot to indulge in handcrafted beers and delicious food.What Are the Catering Services Offered by Eddie's Tacos Rc?Eddie's Tacos RC offers catering services for special events. They're a family-owned and operated Mexican food truck, known for their unique setup and tasty menu.Whether it's a birthday party or a corporate gathering, they can provide delicious Mexican cuisine to cater to your guests' tastes. From their all-meat combo burrito to their mouthwatering tacos and quesadillas, Eddie's Tacos RC will bring the flavors of Mexico to your event with their exceptional catering services.Can You Recommend Any Specific Dishes at Tallys Silver Spoon Made With Fresh Local Ingredients?At Tally's Silver Spoon, we highly recommend trying their sumptuous meals made with fresh local ingredients. As a landmark dining place since 1930, Tally's has been sourcing their ingredients from local food growers, ensuring the highest quality and supporting the community.Whether you're in the mood for breakfast, lunch, or dinner, Tally's offers a diverse menu that's sure to please your taste buds. Don't miss out on this local favorite for a truly unforgettable dining experience.ConclusionAs we conclude our culinary journey through Rapid City, South Dakota, one thing is for certain - this city is a food lover's paradise.From the exotic flavors of Everest Cuisine to the classic elegance of Delmonico Grill, there's no shortage of dining options to satisfy every palate.Whether you're in the mood for a laid-back atmosphere at Independent Ale House or the historic charm of Tallys Silver Spoon, Rapid City has it all.So, what're you waiting for? Come explore and indulge in the best restaurants this vibrant city has to offer. submitted by Sweet-Count2557 to worldkidstravel [link] [comments] |
2024.05.19 06:35 Own_Ninja4698 Aita for being upset that my friend didn’t get me a bday present
AITA for being upset that my friend didn’t get me a bday present
We got in a fight for a year , I didn’t wish her happy birthday during that year . It started with her not putting any effort into talking to me and I was always texting her first and once i stopped putting in effort to see if she would initiate conversations it took her a month to even realize that we stopped talking . Normally , I would always stay up late to wish her happy birthday and I would get her something.
We recently became friends again and I forgave her for the past . Later I found out that she kind of switched up the story of why we’re not friends anymore and shit talked me to all her friends and to this day her friends still shit talk me and she’ll watch them do it but she won’t defend me. I still got her something for her birthday and stayed up until 12 am to wish her .
Today was my bday and she sent me this message about how she’s happy that we’re friends again but she didn’t offer to get me anything back or even ask me what I wanted. She didn’t even have to get me anything just something small or even just a card would’ve been nice . But no nothing . I don’t want to have to feel like I’m watering a dead plant all over again .
submitted by Own_Ninja4698 to AITAH [link] [comments]
We got in a fight for a year , I didn’t wish her happy birthday during that year . It started with her not putting any effort into talking to me and I was always texting her first and once i stopped putting in effort to see if she would initiate conversations it took her a month to even realize that we stopped talking . Normally , I would always stay up late to wish her happy birthday and I would get her something.
We recently became friends again and I forgave her for the past . Later I found out that she kind of switched up the story of why we’re not friends anymore and shit talked me to all her friends and to this day her friends still shit talk me and she’ll watch them do it but she won’t defend me. I still got her something for her birthday and stayed up until 12 am to wish her .
Today was my bday and she sent me this message about how she’s happy that we’re friends again but she didn’t offer to get me anything back or even ask me what I wanted. She didn’t even have to get me anything just something small or even just a card would’ve been nice . But no nothing . I don’t want to have to feel like I’m watering a dead plant all over again .
2024.05.19 06:31 Ok-Fact-168 Struggle to let myself be happy
My partner and I have a truly wonderful relationship. She’s one of a kind and I do have this deep feeling and knowledge that we are a perfect fit for each other.
We of course have standard relationship issues. I struggle with communication a lot. I am simply horrible at communicating. It’s been a problem for the entirety of our relationship of two years. Aside from that, I love her and I love us. I struggle a lot with letting myself be happy in our relationship. We’re both very loving, supportive, closely bonded, all the good things that would signify being happy. I just have this undying expectation of how I should feel more and more in love with her everyday. How I should have this warm feeling inside, I should look her at feel this burst of love every time, I should just feel love and happiness and I think my expectations get in the way of just existing with her.
I really love her so much, there’s not a thing I wouldn’t do for her. I know if I didn’t have rocd, we’d honestly probably be engaged and I wouldn’t have such a fear of marriage and commitment. She’s my best friend and the best person I could’ve asked for. I just don’t know how I can let go of this constant wondering why I don’t feel this way, questioning my lack of ‘feels’. I will continue to stick this out with her because I can’t imagine not being with her and giving up on something so precious, something I’ve always wanted, something that can fulfill me but I just won’t let it.
I notice I feel really great when I’m occupying myself with cooking, fitness, gardening, anything I enjoy. But as soon as I get lazy in my hobbies, is when I start to notice an advance in intrusive thoughts and stressing. Some days I just really don’t want to do anything, I lose focus and motivation. I lose an interest in many things and that’s when ocd gets me.
We’re only 21 and I know I have a lot to figure out. I feel that I need to find happiness within myself to feel all the good things with her. Does anyone else feel like their expectations of what a relationship ‘should’ be, let affect their reality too much? How do I let go of my unrealistic expectations and just go with the flow and accept what I have is amazing? It’s a lack of abundance I think and I would love nothing more than to have that abundance. I don’t want more, I just want to be with happy with her.
Together for 2 years. She some times tells me that she wishes I had experienced a relationship before her to know what is normal, something to compare to and I don’t disagree there. For all my life, I have experienced limerence and never an actual love. What we have is a true love, I know that. But I just can’t let go of this feeling of being in love and smitten. We see each other everyday as we do live together, realistically I know I can’t feel completely in love everyday but there’s always the nagging thought that I should! I just need contentment.
This is really just a rant because I was doing good for several weeks but the past week kinda hit me and is leaving me a bit agitated. I remember right before experiencing this year long ROCD episode and living in it everyday, I was at such a good place. I was genuinely feeling my love for her grow more and more. I couldn’t haven’t been happier. It wasn’t until we decided to get an apartment and we were coming up on our one year where this all hit one random day. Writing it down and seeing it for what it is, makes total sense. And I know the thoughts don’t go away, it’s the anxiety and the reaction to them that needs work but why is it so relentless. Thinking about how this is something I have to deal with for the rest of my life is scary. I’m currently in therapy but I do engage in compulsions all the time. I’m not sure where this rant is going but I needed to write it out.
I love the damn girl and I will marry her one day, just gotta get over this shit and grow up really
submitted by Ok-Fact-168 to ROCD [link] [comments]
We of course have standard relationship issues. I struggle with communication a lot. I am simply horrible at communicating. It’s been a problem for the entirety of our relationship of two years. Aside from that, I love her and I love us. I struggle a lot with letting myself be happy in our relationship. We’re both very loving, supportive, closely bonded, all the good things that would signify being happy. I just have this undying expectation of how I should feel more and more in love with her everyday. How I should have this warm feeling inside, I should look her at feel this burst of love every time, I should just feel love and happiness and I think my expectations get in the way of just existing with her.
I really love her so much, there’s not a thing I wouldn’t do for her. I know if I didn’t have rocd, we’d honestly probably be engaged and I wouldn’t have such a fear of marriage and commitment. She’s my best friend and the best person I could’ve asked for. I just don’t know how I can let go of this constant wondering why I don’t feel this way, questioning my lack of ‘feels’. I will continue to stick this out with her because I can’t imagine not being with her and giving up on something so precious, something I’ve always wanted, something that can fulfill me but I just won’t let it.
I notice I feel really great when I’m occupying myself with cooking, fitness, gardening, anything I enjoy. But as soon as I get lazy in my hobbies, is when I start to notice an advance in intrusive thoughts and stressing. Some days I just really don’t want to do anything, I lose focus and motivation. I lose an interest in many things and that’s when ocd gets me.
We’re only 21 and I know I have a lot to figure out. I feel that I need to find happiness within myself to feel all the good things with her. Does anyone else feel like their expectations of what a relationship ‘should’ be, let affect their reality too much? How do I let go of my unrealistic expectations and just go with the flow and accept what I have is amazing? It’s a lack of abundance I think and I would love nothing more than to have that abundance. I don’t want more, I just want to be with happy with her.
Together for 2 years. She some times tells me that she wishes I had experienced a relationship before her to know what is normal, something to compare to and I don’t disagree there. For all my life, I have experienced limerence and never an actual love. What we have is a true love, I know that. But I just can’t let go of this feeling of being in love and smitten. We see each other everyday as we do live together, realistically I know I can’t feel completely in love everyday but there’s always the nagging thought that I should! I just need contentment.
This is really just a rant because I was doing good for several weeks but the past week kinda hit me and is leaving me a bit agitated. I remember right before experiencing this year long ROCD episode and living in it everyday, I was at such a good place. I was genuinely feeling my love for her grow more and more. I couldn’t haven’t been happier. It wasn’t until we decided to get an apartment and we were coming up on our one year where this all hit one random day. Writing it down and seeing it for what it is, makes total sense. And I know the thoughts don’t go away, it’s the anxiety and the reaction to them that needs work but why is it so relentless. Thinking about how this is something I have to deal with for the rest of my life is scary. I’m currently in therapy but I do engage in compulsions all the time. I’m not sure where this rant is going but I needed to write it out.
I love the damn girl and I will marry her one day, just gotta get over this shit and grow up really
2024.05.19 06:28 gh0stm3n My Mom is psychotic, and nobody cares.
My (18m) mom is psychotic, but for whatever reason nobody in my family gives a shit. She has always been a little crazy (she believes in every conspiracy theory in the book), but she didn’t really go off the deep end until my dad divorced her when I was 4. Since then, she has gotten progressively crazier to an unmanageable level. I could write an epic just filled with everything she’s done that’s crazy, but I will just hit the highlights.
submitted by gh0stm3n to offmychest [link] [comments]
- when I was in kindergarten, she told me on the way home from school that Santa Claus, the Easter bunny, and everything in between were not real.
- when I was a child, she constantly filled my head with the idea that I was going to be tortured and killed in the future for being a Christian. She also made it seem like I was going to go to hell if I sinned at all. I used to shower and bathe at the hottest temperature possible as a kid because i wanted to get prepared for hell.
- when I was 8 years old, she joined a cult (or pseudo religion, or whatever you want to call it) called Hebrew Roots. The basic premise was Judaism plus Jesus, but with no grace. From 8 years old and on she had me follow the rules of Judaism (rest on Friday and Saturday, don’t eat certain foods, etc,) even though I am not Jewish.
- since I was 8, she has taken me on numerous “vacations” which mostly consisted of visiting a friend in her religion (most notably a Native American chief) and studying the Old Testament for 10-12 hours a day.
- my sister used to live with my mom. For her 21st birthday, she “wore a revealing dress and went to the club on a Friday night (sabbath)” my mom kicked her out of the house for this, and she was homeless for some time.
- she said to me “where did we go wrong with you?” Because I said I didn’t like to cook (not in a joking way)
- she constantly pitted me against my dad when I was a kid, from sending him an email to “not persecute my religion”, to telling me my brother chose my dad and my sister chose her, and I would have to choose a side
- she constantly has childlike temper tantrums and meltdowns for no reason. I always have to comfort her, and most of my life I have felt like I had to be a parent to her instead of the other way around -she gets upset at anything and everything “non-biblical”
- one time, I wasn’t showing just enough excitement about what she was talking about (I think Old Testament numerals) and she started to sob and recount everything bad that has ever happened to her (everything from my dad divorcing her to her high school boyfriend cheating on her)
- one time, she saw MF DOOM rings I had put in the Amazon shopping cart, and said that I was “opening a portal to the spirit world”
- I started seeing a therapist about a year and a half ago, and she has probably said 25 plus times that she “respects confidentiality.” Then, in a recent vacation, she had a meltdown when I refused to share what I talked to my therapist about, and told my dad I “have no interest in having a relationship” with her.
2024.05.19 06:21 SugarApprehensive633 I’m the unluckiest lucky man alive
Listen at this point I think I’m cursed because I swear I keep having one of 2 things happen to me in my life. Either I do something incredibly stupid or something incredibly unlucky happens to me and yet somehow I come out unscathed, example being on more then one occasion me dropping glass items due to a completely unlucky set of circumstances yet somehow catching it perfectly or even better having it LITERALLY BOUNCE ON HARD FLOOR and me stopping it before breaking. Or I have the luckiest things happen to me and it looks like I’m guaranteed to succeed in something and then at the absolute last minute despite all odds I fuck it up somehow. Just today I had both of these happen simultaneously. I really liked this girl and I asked her to prom and she said yes. Mind you I literally got full confirmation from her friend that it was a good idea before doing it so it wasn’t a big surprise. Now in the time between asking and prom we progressed so quickly that we agreed to actually start dating after prom. Which honestly I never expected to happen and I was so happy. Prom comes along and I actually nail it. We hugged we held hands we felt like an actual couple and it was great. We even kissed at the end. But of course my curse couldn’t just let me be happy. I said “i love you” and we’d really only been dating for like a week so it’s way too early to say that and I really meant that I just really liked her but my brain just kinda shortened it to one word. Now she didn’t seem mad at first or weirded out so I thought it was fine but it definitely wasn’t. I dropped her off at a party after prom cause I couldn’t stay any later and when I got home I messaged her that shit again CAUSE IM A FUCKIN DUMBASS WHO THOUGHT IT WAS FINE. Come the next day she wasn’t really talking to me and I wasn’t sure why at first but i had this lingering thought that she might be trying to ghost me despite what seemed like a lot of evidence against that. So I asked if she was ok to which she responded with no and explained how she WAS in fact weirded out by it and needed some space. So here we are I’m about to just accept the fact that this shit happened again like it always fucking does and I was about to just be depressed but instead I actually tried to work out. And I explained to her what happened and she understood but said she still needed more time. So I’m thinking welp I tried and I had to get to work anyway so I tried to push it out my mind. But then she messaged me and apologized for being slow to respond to my messages originally because she was “a little hungover.” Now call me a bitch but I don’t drink and don’t plan on it for the foreseeable future so this caught me so off guard cause she also has stated she doesn’t plan to drink. So suddenly I’m thinking shit because I said ONE FUCKING WORD WRONG I stressed her out causing her to drink. Now imagine going to work and trying to serve customers while trying to deal with the fact that you might’ve been the sole cause for an incredibly stupid fucking decision that someone you care about a lot made. Safe to say I was internally having a meltdown while trying my best to seem fine on the outside. My manager could tell something was up and let me take a 15 minute break (which definitely ended up being longer then 15 minutes) where I just fucking broke down in my car cause I was so fucking done with myself. Literally one word was the difference here. One word was the difference between me having a girlfriend and me maybe not having a girlfriend and also causing her to make a horrible decision. But I pulled myself together enough to talk to her about it. She confirmed to me that I was definitely not the reason she was drinking, although I still don’t believe her, and that she would’ve done it no matter what. And on top of that, we talked about the other thing more and how I was seriously still sorry about that and I felt awful. Now I’m still under the assumption that I’ve completely fucked this but then she comes out of nowhere and we actually talked it out like a lot and she was worried about me despite what I had said. And told me she actually understood why I had said that and wasn’t mad at me. She just said she was very taken aback. She then proceeded to grill me to make sure I was ok (in a very similar fashion to how I’d grill her when she wasn’t ok) and also wanted to make sure that WE were ok. At this point I told her exactly why I was so scared and why I was definitely not ok earlier and she told me that I didn’t fuck it up and that this stupid shit I said wasn’t going to change how she felt about me and she still really cared about me and liked me a lot. This all happened in the span of like 2 days btw so I was on the biggest emotional roller coaster. Swear to god I dealt with every single emotion in those two days. Now the crazy part is I realized just now that my curse infact struck twice today. This whole time I’m thinking this shit is screwing me over as always but I forgot about the first part of my curse. The part where I somehow come out unscathed after the stupidest most unlucky shit happens. Now this happened in two ways during this incident. One is the fact that we worked it out despite the chaos. Two which still dumbfounds me is the fact that she didn’t ghost me. She told me that literally EVERY SINGLE ONE OF HER FRIENDS WERE TELLING HER TO JUST GHOST ME! THAT ORIGINAL FEAR I THOUGHT WAS UNWARRANTED WAS ACTUALLY ALMOST TRUE! BUT SHE DECIDED AFTER I ASKED IF SHE WAS OK TO ACTUALLY TALK TO ME CAUSE SHE STILL FELT I HAD THE RIGHT TO KNOW. That god damn curse is also a blessing cause once again the stupidest most unlucky shit happens but somehow by pure fucking luck it ends up avoiding becoming worst case scenario and actually works itself out. When she told me literally all her friends were telling her to ghost me I was actually floored. I swear I thanked her like 5 different times for not ghosting me and actually talking it out. In summary I am the luckiest unlucky man alive and it’s a blessing and a fucking curse.
submitted by SugarApprehensive633 to Rants [link] [comments]
2024.05.19 06:19 Check828 I just want to run away from everything
Probably going to get lost on this sub and thats ok i just need to get this off my chest more than anything TLDR at the end. I also apologize for the bad sentence structure.
Preface information: Gay 23 Year old male living in a rural/small town area diagnosed with Depression Anxiety Asthma and ADHD (ADHD was not diagnosed as a child)
Exactly as the titles says i just want to run away and start over but i can't. Is it healthy no but I just don't know what else to do at this point. Compared to most people probably has a decent life with a supportive family, but I am unhappy with all of it and haven't been happy since I was 16.
I have been to multiple therapists but have yet to have a consistent one and currently my newest one I see maybe once a month due to high demand in my area. And we have not even begun to actually begin helping my issues. (Have been seeing her for 2 months now. I believe I am being properly medicated however I forget even with alarms set to take my meds (and lost my depression meds which yes I know is not helping).
I just got hired for a 3rd shift job making decent pay and hopefully can start a decent saving so i can eventually move away. I also have a prior commitment working for someone during the day watching their storefront while they are out with a trailer at different places. This is not every day but more like every other weekend for now until summer when i am excreted to watch the store more frequently. This will have me working 10pm-6am and 11am-6pm some days which I know won't work. I need to tell the store owner I can't do it but I don't want them to get mad and screw them over as they won't be able to find someone to cover their store if I don't. (And yes that's their problem not mine but still)
I have aging grandparents and my mom/dad doesn't have the time to help them or spend a lot of time with them nor does my sister make an effort to most of the time either. My grandfather on my dad's side is more worse off than my grandmother on my mom's side due to his age and having a stroke (but not telling anyone he had one). He constantly answers obvious scam calls and orders stuff off the TV or elsewhere and when we try to help him he fights with us because he doesn't want to be the steotypical old person (which he is) my dad's brothers still live at home mooch off him and do not acknowledge his existence 99% of the time as well.
I have tried to go to college twice couldn't get into the institution I wanted and flunked out both times due to the pressure, teachers insulting me, and my mental issues that were the colleges refused to acknowledge even with my attempting to give them the paperwork to do so through proper channels. This is to the point where I don't even know if it is worth going back as everyone I graduated with for the most part is either graduated already, have great careers, have kids, or just are overall very happy and content with their lives.
One of my best friends also died in early 2022 and I could not attend the funeral as I was working and had moved away for college (or attempted to) and everyone back home completely forgot I even existed as a friend to him. I had to beg and plead to get something to remember him by (one of his deckboxes for card games) and I'm still not even over his death as he and I spent almost every night playing video games together and I can't even touch those games without being reminded of him. This also includes the card games I play too mainly Yu-Gi-Oh as he played that slong with my other best friend but it's just not the same.
Most of my issues stemmed from high school where I feel my life just ended. I was diagnosed with asthma at 16 after having a lot of issues with cross country and swimming and subsequently diagnosed with Depression and anxiety a couple of months later due to constantly bullying from teammates and one of the cross country coaches that I was either faking it or that asthma is not real. I was one of the star swimmers in our school until our original coach left and one of the cross country coaches took over. Because of my asthma my mental illness and non supportive coaching staff I just drifted to a point where I was basically one of the worst on the team and had no idea what I was doing with my life and still don't to this day. I was the gifted kid growing up but once I got to high school and asked for help I was told I would just figure it out like I always do I was a smart kid so my cries for help were always ignored.
EDIT: almost forgot but I have 0 love life no one around me wants to date and I have very little options where I live one guy I went to school with moved to a big city close by and seems to have no trouble finding guys who actually want to date so I guess I'm just also jealous of that and want the same options he has.
TLDR: I want to run away and start over because of 1. No consistent mental health 2. I don't like people depending on me 3. I have too many commitments and I don't know to say no 4. Aging grandparents that expect me to be at their beck and call 5. Issues with School feeling left out/behind 6. Death of a close friend and not being able to get over it 7. Issues stemming from High school where I feel my life ended. 8. Issues with lack of love life.
If anyone has any advice I'm all ears otherwise just needed to air it out to someone/people that wasn't someone I know basically. Thanks.
submitted by Check828 to mentalhealth [link] [comments]
Preface information: Gay 23 Year old male living in a rural/small town area diagnosed with Depression Anxiety Asthma and ADHD (ADHD was not diagnosed as a child)
Exactly as the titles says i just want to run away and start over but i can't. Is it healthy no but I just don't know what else to do at this point. Compared to most people probably has a decent life with a supportive family, but I am unhappy with all of it and haven't been happy since I was 16.
I have been to multiple therapists but have yet to have a consistent one and currently my newest one I see maybe once a month due to high demand in my area. And we have not even begun to actually begin helping my issues. (Have been seeing her for 2 months now. I believe I am being properly medicated however I forget even with alarms set to take my meds (and lost my depression meds which yes I know is not helping).
I just got hired for a 3rd shift job making decent pay and hopefully can start a decent saving so i can eventually move away. I also have a prior commitment working for someone during the day watching their storefront while they are out with a trailer at different places. This is not every day but more like every other weekend for now until summer when i am excreted to watch the store more frequently. This will have me working 10pm-6am and 11am-6pm some days which I know won't work. I need to tell the store owner I can't do it but I don't want them to get mad and screw them over as they won't be able to find someone to cover their store if I don't. (And yes that's their problem not mine but still)
I have aging grandparents and my mom/dad doesn't have the time to help them or spend a lot of time with them nor does my sister make an effort to most of the time either. My grandfather on my dad's side is more worse off than my grandmother on my mom's side due to his age and having a stroke (but not telling anyone he had one). He constantly answers obvious scam calls and orders stuff off the TV or elsewhere and when we try to help him he fights with us because he doesn't want to be the steotypical old person (which he is) my dad's brothers still live at home mooch off him and do not acknowledge his existence 99% of the time as well.
I have tried to go to college twice couldn't get into the institution I wanted and flunked out both times due to the pressure, teachers insulting me, and my mental issues that were the colleges refused to acknowledge even with my attempting to give them the paperwork to do so through proper channels. This is to the point where I don't even know if it is worth going back as everyone I graduated with for the most part is either graduated already, have great careers, have kids, or just are overall very happy and content with their lives.
One of my best friends also died in early 2022 and I could not attend the funeral as I was working and had moved away for college (or attempted to) and everyone back home completely forgot I even existed as a friend to him. I had to beg and plead to get something to remember him by (one of his deckboxes for card games) and I'm still not even over his death as he and I spent almost every night playing video games together and I can't even touch those games without being reminded of him. This also includes the card games I play too mainly Yu-Gi-Oh as he played that slong with my other best friend but it's just not the same.
Most of my issues stemmed from high school where I feel my life just ended. I was diagnosed with asthma at 16 after having a lot of issues with cross country and swimming and subsequently diagnosed with Depression and anxiety a couple of months later due to constantly bullying from teammates and one of the cross country coaches that I was either faking it or that asthma is not real. I was one of the star swimmers in our school until our original coach left and one of the cross country coaches took over. Because of my asthma my mental illness and non supportive coaching staff I just drifted to a point where I was basically one of the worst on the team and had no idea what I was doing with my life and still don't to this day. I was the gifted kid growing up but once I got to high school and asked for help I was told I would just figure it out like I always do I was a smart kid so my cries for help were always ignored.
EDIT: almost forgot but I have 0 love life no one around me wants to date and I have very little options where I live one guy I went to school with moved to a big city close by and seems to have no trouble finding guys who actually want to date so I guess I'm just also jealous of that and want the same options he has.
TLDR: I want to run away and start over because of 1. No consistent mental health 2. I don't like people depending on me 3. I have too many commitments and I don't know to say no 4. Aging grandparents that expect me to be at their beck and call 5. Issues with School feeling left out/behind 6. Death of a close friend and not being able to get over it 7. Issues stemming from High school where I feel my life ended. 8. Issues with lack of love life.
If anyone has any advice I'm all ears otherwise just needed to air it out to someone/people that wasn't someone I know basically. Thanks.
2024.05.19 06:17 FridayXIII [WTS] Ontario Rat 1 & Extra Hardware Retired Leatherman's
Hello knife connoisseurs, thanks for looking at my sharp and pointy things. Finding new forever homes for those that never get carried or used.
Purchasing and shipping information listed at the bottom of the post
(FridayXIII 05.19.24)
submitted by FridayXIII to Knife_Swap [link] [comments]
Proof of Ownership:
T I M E S T A M P
Additional images available upon requestTrade Interests:
Revolving ISO & Trade Interests
Mini Revolving ISO & Trade Highlights- Custom Bugout reblades. (TK, Gersh, Rek etc…) Will take a full build or blade only.
- Spyderco Exclusives & Sprints Regular Production (MagnaCut, Cru-Wear, M4, K390 etc.)
- Benchmade Bugout & Osborne (M4)
- Spyderco Sage 5 & Native 5 (M4)
- Quiet Carry Drift & Drift L/LC
- Knafs Landers 2
- Leatherman Charge+ G10 Earth
Please be reasonable if you are making an offer.
I work 2nd shift and tend to post sales early in the morning before retiring for the evening. Please be patient if Yolo’n a knife or making offers. I will get with you ASAP, probably midafternoon, possibly sooner. Please be mindful Yolo’s take precedence over PM/Chats.Purchasing and shipping information listed at the bottom of the post
For Your Consideration:
SOLD >>> Ontario Rat 1 & Extra Hardware
- Sale Value -
$25 - Ownership - First
- Centering/Lockup - Blade favors show side with a solid lockup
- Condition - The Rat 1 blade is off center, but it doesn’t rub the liner. Only by a gnat’s hair though, a note card can be passed between the blade and liner. The action is good without any blade play and solid lockup. I changed the pivot on the Rat 1 thinking it may correct the centering, but I didn’t and I’m giving up on the project. The knife has original hardware and additional hardware of pivot’s, screws, standoffs, washers, clips are included. Also worthy of mention the Rat 1 has been used and shows signs of use like snail trails, scuffs, etc.
- Edge Condition - Looks like a factory edge, but lets say I have sharpened it in the past because I don’t remember if I had or haven’t.
- Blade Style/Edge - Drop Point / Plain edge
- Included - Knife and extra hardware, no box
- Modifications - Yes, New pivot, pivot screws, and washers were installed from the hardware kits.
- Disassembled - Yes to lube and exchange parts to fix the centering issue
- Action - Smooth action but I have the pivot tightened more to my liking instead of being drop shut smooth
- Finish/Blade Steel - Satin / AUS-8
- Handle Material - Green G10
- Blade Length - Blade length: 3.625” Overall length: 8.625”
Retired Leatherman's (Super Tool/PST/PST) Bundle
- Sale Value - $100
- I will not be breaking up this set of vintage Leatherman’s
Leatherman Super Tool
- Date Code - 0797
- Ownership - Multiple
- Condition - Good used condition with surface dirt and scuffs. The tools and all seem to be in good working order and open smoothly. I would suggest a good cleaning with warm soapy water, compressed air and lubed.
Leatherman PST
- Date Code - 0797 & 0897
- Ownership - Multiple
- Condition - Good used condition with surface dirt and scuffs. The tools and all seem to be in good working order and open smoothly. I would suggest a good cleaning with warm soapy water, compressed air and lubed.
Leatherman PST II
- Date Code - 1099 & 1199
- Ownership - Multiple
- Condition - Good used condition with surface dirt & rust, and scuffs. The tools and all seem to be in good working order and open smoothly. I would suggest a good cleaning with warm soapy water, compressed air and lubed.
Transaction Details:
- Shipping
- U.S. Shipping via USPS or UPS at my discretion (unless USPS is required for a PO box)
- U.S. Territories, and international shipping at cost (Please message before buying)
- Payment
- PayPal Friends & Family or Zelle (NO NOTES)
- Claiming
- Yolo > Chat/PM rules apply, I reserve the right to choose the buyer at my discretion
- Payment must be made in full within an hour of confirmation of the sale, i.e. Yolo, dibs, or Claiming
- Trades Under 25 Flair
- Option 1: - Send me your knife first, and once I receive it, I’ll send you mine.
- Option 2: - Send both knives simultaneously. You can pay the full amount for my knife via PayPal F&F. Once I receive your knife, I’ll promptly refund the amount paid.
(FridayXIII 05.19.24)
2024.05.19 06:14 just_hanging_around8 Big Box Pet Store refused to sell me and my Papa fish
Weird title, and weird story, but I have to get this off my chest and tell somebody about it because it upset me so so badly.
My grandpa is in the middle stages of dementia, and he likes to watch animals. Birds outside, the neighborhood cats outside of his window, squirrels, live cams of animals on TV, all that kind of stuff keeps his attention and make him less antsy for a long time. So for his birthday in early April, I got him a 20 gallon fish tank to keep on the table next to his recliner. Now, I did some research into fish, and found out it was best to run the tank for a while before putting fish in it. Ok, so I set it all up on his birthday, put some aquatic plants in it, and let it run until I got home from college, about a month later.
The other day I decided it was finally time to get some fish. Although I could have done this without my Papa, I decided it would be good to get him out and about, and get his say on what color of fish we were gonna get. We talked about what fish we wanted before this, and decided that wanted at least 4 Tetras, so we could name them after the Beatles.
We get to the big chain pet store, Papa picks out a little yellow submarine to put in his tank, all is well, until we get to the actually getting of the fish. A worker comes out and asks me what type of fish I want, I point out the exact fish, and ask my Papa what colors he would like. The worker stops me, and asks me who exactly the fish are for, and seeing no reason to lie, I tell the worker that they are for my Papa. Who, at this stage of dementia, it is quite obvious he is not at 100% mental capacity. Suddenly, the worker gets all strange, and begins interrogating me on my tank. What size it is, how long the filter has been running, etc. Again, I see no reason to lie to him, so I tell him everything already covered. The worker says that my tank is way to small, that I need at least 30 gallon tank to hold any fish, and that my filter hasn't been running for long enough, blabbers on for about 30 minutes about how irresponsible it would be for me to have this fish, an insists the only thing that can live in my tank is plants. He says he will not sell us fish, any fish. He then proceeds to practically force us to buy a plant (picked one off the shelf, put it in my hand, and walked us to the register). I buy the plant and my Papa's yellow submarine.
At this point, I am fuming. I kind of caught on to what this worker was about-he assumed my Papa couldn't take care of this fish. But I'm trying to keep my cool, not wanting my Papa to see that I was upset. Papa is of course confused when we get back to the car as to why we have no fish, I tell him that they just didn't have the ones we wanted (now usually I tell the truth but in this situation, I knew he would have stormed back in and demanded the fish if he knew what had happened)
I knew for a fact fish could live in the tank I set up, so I did what I should have done in the first place, go to the local fish store. The reason I didn't do this in the first place is because it is not disability accessible, like so many small business are, unfortunately.
I go to the local fish store, leaving Papa in the car with the Beatles playing (of course), explain to the fish man my situation. Asking him if there are any fish that could live in a 20 gallon tank
"Of course, I've got the perfect fish for you"
You know what they were? Tetras! The only warning the fish man gave me was to keep the food hidden from my Papa as him may over feed them, no problem was gonna do that anyways. Plan was for me to be the fish caretaker in the first place.
So now John, Paul, George, and Ringo are happily living next to my Papas chair with their yellow submarine. My Papa couldn't be happier watching his fish. I'm just so mad we were seemingly discriminated against by the worker at the big chain store, I assume he thought my Papa would be the sole caregiver of the fish, which is an unfair assumption, especially since he didn't ask me who would be caring for the fish-just who the fish were for.
Sorry for the long post, this whole story has had me fuming for days, I though writing it all out for you lovely internet people would help me calm down about it.
TLDR: Big chain store wouldn't sell me and my Papa fish because worker assumed my Papa wasn't capable of taking care of them, local business to the rescue. Paul, John, George and Ringo are now very happy fish.
submitted by just_hanging_around8 to dementia [link] [comments]
My grandpa is in the middle stages of dementia, and he likes to watch animals. Birds outside, the neighborhood cats outside of his window, squirrels, live cams of animals on TV, all that kind of stuff keeps his attention and make him less antsy for a long time. So for his birthday in early April, I got him a 20 gallon fish tank to keep on the table next to his recliner. Now, I did some research into fish, and found out it was best to run the tank for a while before putting fish in it. Ok, so I set it all up on his birthday, put some aquatic plants in it, and let it run until I got home from college, about a month later.
The other day I decided it was finally time to get some fish. Although I could have done this without my Papa, I decided it would be good to get him out and about, and get his say on what color of fish we were gonna get. We talked about what fish we wanted before this, and decided that wanted at least 4 Tetras, so we could name them after the Beatles.
We get to the big chain pet store, Papa picks out a little yellow submarine to put in his tank, all is well, until we get to the actually getting of the fish. A worker comes out and asks me what type of fish I want, I point out the exact fish, and ask my Papa what colors he would like. The worker stops me, and asks me who exactly the fish are for, and seeing no reason to lie, I tell the worker that they are for my Papa. Who, at this stage of dementia, it is quite obvious he is not at 100% mental capacity. Suddenly, the worker gets all strange, and begins interrogating me on my tank. What size it is, how long the filter has been running, etc. Again, I see no reason to lie to him, so I tell him everything already covered. The worker says that my tank is way to small, that I need at least 30 gallon tank to hold any fish, and that my filter hasn't been running for long enough, blabbers on for about 30 minutes about how irresponsible it would be for me to have this fish, an insists the only thing that can live in my tank is plants. He says he will not sell us fish, any fish. He then proceeds to practically force us to buy a plant (picked one off the shelf, put it in my hand, and walked us to the register). I buy the plant and my Papa's yellow submarine.
At this point, I am fuming. I kind of caught on to what this worker was about-he assumed my Papa couldn't take care of this fish. But I'm trying to keep my cool, not wanting my Papa to see that I was upset. Papa is of course confused when we get back to the car as to why we have no fish, I tell him that they just didn't have the ones we wanted (now usually I tell the truth but in this situation, I knew he would have stormed back in and demanded the fish if he knew what had happened)
I knew for a fact fish could live in the tank I set up, so I did what I should have done in the first place, go to the local fish store. The reason I didn't do this in the first place is because it is not disability accessible, like so many small business are, unfortunately.
I go to the local fish store, leaving Papa in the car with the Beatles playing (of course), explain to the fish man my situation. Asking him if there are any fish that could live in a 20 gallon tank
"Of course, I've got the perfect fish for you"
You know what they were? Tetras! The only warning the fish man gave me was to keep the food hidden from my Papa as him may over feed them, no problem was gonna do that anyways. Plan was for me to be the fish caretaker in the first place.
So now John, Paul, George, and Ringo are happily living next to my Papas chair with their yellow submarine. My Papa couldn't be happier watching his fish. I'm just so mad we were seemingly discriminated against by the worker at the big chain store, I assume he thought my Papa would be the sole caregiver of the fish, which is an unfair assumption, especially since he didn't ask me who would be caring for the fish-just who the fish were for.
Sorry for the long post, this whole story has had me fuming for days, I though writing it all out for you lovely internet people would help me calm down about it.
TLDR: Big chain store wouldn't sell me and my Papa fish because worker assumed my Papa wasn't capable of taking care of them, local business to the rescue. Paul, John, George and Ringo are now very happy fish.
2024.05.19 06:14 Mammoth-Mission1386 Nicely worded opinions please
There is no tldr, I don’t know how to summarize this. If you have time PLEASE read. I need opinions/advice/anything. Just please be kind with how you word whatever you want to say if you read to the end. Please. I’m not okay and I don’t have anywhere to go.
I have adopted children with a narcissist ex (friends that think the term narcissist is overused, which I agree with, have told me I’m the exception which is great and validating but who wants to be THAT exception??) My children are beyond high needs. It’s all mental, none of it physical so no one can see it readily. I’ve been divorced long enough I did a little healing. That seems to have made my ability to tolerate being treated horribly much much worse than when I was in the middle of it because I’m not numb anymore. I love my kids. I never wanted any, but my ex did. I let myself get convinced. I let myself fall in love with them. But I hate my life. I’m worried at this rate I won’t be there for them as they get older anyway. I worry I can’t be mentally and psychologically abused by my children every day they are with me, regardless of how much it’s in their control, while never really being able to have space from their father who abused me in every way but leaving a bruise that would show as proof it actually happened. I hate myself. I hate how I can’t be what I know they deserve me to be. My ex has what appears to be a fairly decent new girlfriend. They have a baby together (conceived 2 months after separation and probably within a week of us deciding on divorce). Overall I like her though there’s times she sides with him more than logic dictates but I’ve been in a relationship with him and I know what disagreements feel like so I’m doing my best not to blame her too much. With the foster agency we filled out a checklist of behaviors etc we were okay with and ones we weren’t. The agency did such a horrible job following up on anything the entire year they were “working” with the family prior to removal that they said the kids had no known behaviors when they actually check more than 90% of the boxes we said we weren’t okay with. I know none of this is the kids fault but I also know my limits and abilities and some I ignored and others were ignored by other people. I didn’t want kids. I didn’t want to parent alone. I didn’t want kids with more diagnoses and issues than I can count. I recognize that while I was being manipulated etc etc I may not have been as in control of my choices as I’d like to think I always am. I prefer to take responsibility for myself, often far more than is reasonable. I can’t stand to have any contact with their father. It hurts in a way I didn’t know my feelings could make me physically hurt. I don’t know how to live like this. I don’t know how long I can live like this. I want the best for my kids, I truly love them. So much it hurts me. But I want to live. I want to be okay. Either that or I want to be done. But just knowing the next decade or more of my life is going to be something that never lets me be okay, and hurts constantly, in ways I can’t put into words. How do I live with that? I don’t know that I will I matter how much I try. While I’m in this situation, I don’t see a way I’ll ever be okay. I can’t see how I can be any kind of good example of what to aspire to when you grow up let alone survive long enough for it to matter. Half of me thinks relinquishing my 50% custody would be better for them and 50% doesn’t. I 100% know it’s better for me but fuck me, I can’t do something better for myself just at their expense. If I could I’d have done what would have been better for everyone and disrupted the placement before adopting but that wouldn’t have been better for them at the time, just in hindsight. I don’t have friends, I have 2 people in my life I can talk to and they’re family and I don’t know how to say any of this in this sort of brutally honest way to them. I just need to know how crazy I am. Am I crazy selfish and internet just shove it down and deal or is thinking I deserve to be okay too much because I already made the commitment? But this isn’t what I was committing to. But that’s not their fault. Is giving custody to my ex better for them, knowing all the narcissistic behaviors, but hoping the kids won’t suffer from them in the way I did, because if he treated them like he treated me it would look bad and people WOULD see it, which isn’t usually when narcissists are at their most destructive. Or is it worse for them for me to be half present; or maybe eventually die. Because I’ve sadly had the people that know what it entails for me to keep them and to have to continue interacting with their dad, tell me if I keep them that I’m not going to live more than a year anyway.
submitted by Mammoth-Mission1386 to NarcissisticSpouses [link] [comments]
I have adopted children with a narcissist ex (friends that think the term narcissist is overused, which I agree with, have told me I’m the exception which is great and validating but who wants to be THAT exception??) My children are beyond high needs. It’s all mental, none of it physical so no one can see it readily. I’ve been divorced long enough I did a little healing. That seems to have made my ability to tolerate being treated horribly much much worse than when I was in the middle of it because I’m not numb anymore. I love my kids. I never wanted any, but my ex did. I let myself get convinced. I let myself fall in love with them. But I hate my life. I’m worried at this rate I won’t be there for them as they get older anyway. I worry I can’t be mentally and psychologically abused by my children every day they are with me, regardless of how much it’s in their control, while never really being able to have space from their father who abused me in every way but leaving a bruise that would show as proof it actually happened. I hate myself. I hate how I can’t be what I know they deserve me to be. My ex has what appears to be a fairly decent new girlfriend. They have a baby together (conceived 2 months after separation and probably within a week of us deciding on divorce). Overall I like her though there’s times she sides with him more than logic dictates but I’ve been in a relationship with him and I know what disagreements feel like so I’m doing my best not to blame her too much. With the foster agency we filled out a checklist of behaviors etc we were okay with and ones we weren’t. The agency did such a horrible job following up on anything the entire year they were “working” with the family prior to removal that they said the kids had no known behaviors when they actually check more than 90% of the boxes we said we weren’t okay with. I know none of this is the kids fault but I also know my limits and abilities and some I ignored and others were ignored by other people. I didn’t want kids. I didn’t want to parent alone. I didn’t want kids with more diagnoses and issues than I can count. I recognize that while I was being manipulated etc etc I may not have been as in control of my choices as I’d like to think I always am. I prefer to take responsibility for myself, often far more than is reasonable. I can’t stand to have any contact with their father. It hurts in a way I didn’t know my feelings could make me physically hurt. I don’t know how to live like this. I don’t know how long I can live like this. I want the best for my kids, I truly love them. So much it hurts me. But I want to live. I want to be okay. Either that or I want to be done. But just knowing the next decade or more of my life is going to be something that never lets me be okay, and hurts constantly, in ways I can’t put into words. How do I live with that? I don’t know that I will I matter how much I try. While I’m in this situation, I don’t see a way I’ll ever be okay. I can’t see how I can be any kind of good example of what to aspire to when you grow up let alone survive long enough for it to matter. Half of me thinks relinquishing my 50% custody would be better for them and 50% doesn’t. I 100% know it’s better for me but fuck me, I can’t do something better for myself just at their expense. If I could I’d have done what would have been better for everyone and disrupted the placement before adopting but that wouldn’t have been better for them at the time, just in hindsight. I don’t have friends, I have 2 people in my life I can talk to and they’re family and I don’t know how to say any of this in this sort of brutally honest way to them. I just need to know how crazy I am. Am I crazy selfish and internet just shove it down and deal or is thinking I deserve to be okay too much because I already made the commitment? But this isn’t what I was committing to. But that’s not their fault. Is giving custody to my ex better for them, knowing all the narcissistic behaviors, but hoping the kids won’t suffer from them in the way I did, because if he treated them like he treated me it would look bad and people WOULD see it, which isn’t usually when narcissists are at their most destructive. Or is it worse for them for me to be half present; or maybe eventually die. Because I’ve sadly had the people that know what it entails for me to keep them and to have to continue interacting with their dad, tell me if I keep them that I’m not going to live more than a year anyway.
2024.05.19 06:10 Ok-Specific7061 My mom(60F) lost control and it ended up physical with me (30F). What do I do moving forward?
I have a pretty good relationship with my mom. We butt heads sometimes but she’s usually pretty reasonable. I’m living with my parents right now because I have a chronic illness and I’m working on getting on my feet and then moving out. I have a mental illness. I’m super healthy and have a bunch of healthy habits. I’m not a toxic person like the stereotype, I just struggle and I make sure to help my parents out as much as I can while I’m here. Just two months ago I was hallucinating so I’m on new medication. It’s working really well and I’m doing good. I go to my bipolar support group, I have a therapist and psychiatrist, I take medication. I’m on my shit bc I have to be. I never take my issues out on my parents.
(I know there will be people who blame me or judge me for having a mental disability so if you are going to do that, please don’t)
My mom has been sober for 30 years. Before that she was a mess, she’s told me intense stories. She’s very much involved with AA. She’s pretty high up there, she does speaker meanings in front of hundreds of people, all her friends are sober, her brother is sober, and she still goes to meetings regularly. Honestly, I am so grateful and proud of her sobriety. I know AA has helped her. I am super proud of her. She helps people. I just think she might need actual therapy instead of just AA work.
The thing is, she thinks everyone is an alcoholic. She can be very harsh sometimes. Ever since I started drinking alcohol as an adult, she has judged me. I definitely don’t have a drinking or drug problem. I drink maybe 2-3 times a month, a couple of glasses of beer or wine that’s it. I don’t even drink liquor. I’m happy with just a couple beers. I haven’t been blacked out since I was a teenager and I can’t remember the last time I had a hangover.
The thing is (which isn’t my main issue there’s more to this story) she literally judges me so hard if I ever drink or she hears about me drinking. We can be at dinner with the family, I’ll order a glass of cab to go with my pasta, and she will give me dirty looks and make comments. I’ve been dealing with this for 10 years. The one time I was hungover a long time ago I was vomiting, and she gave me so much grief and was like “wow you drank so much you are sick” and won’t leave me alone. At family functions I’ll have a beer with my cousins and she just vibes me so hard. She treats me like I have a serious drinking problem when I clearly don’t. For 10 years she gets shitty with me if she sees me even have one beer.
Well two days ago I had a great beach day. The beach was empty, my dog and I walked for miles, we ran into an old friend. It was such a good day. I deal with depression a lot so I treasure my good days. I was so sad that my day got ruined because of her.
On the way home I got a tall coors light bc it sounded nice after my beach day. I came home, super happy, talking to my parents, making jokes. I made some food, cleaned up the kitchen, did dishes and went to go to my room. we were walking to our rooms at the same time. As I began to say goodnight to my mom, she turned around, stared at the beer and me and gave me a nasty look. The thing about my mom she often lies, if she says something fucked up and I point it out she will lie . She does these lies and it’s so obvious.
After she gave me that nasty look, I calmly said “I’m 30 years old, I’m allowed to have a beer, don’t judge me”. Then she lied and said I was looking at your glasses. Gaslighting me. I told her, no you weren’t. You gave me a look because I have a beer. She denied it and I said “liar”. She lost her shit. She started saying you’re calling me a liar!!!! And started yelling at me. I stood my ground and said you were lying and I don’t appreciate being treated like that, you gave me a look about my beer. Shehe even admitted it and said that yes I saw you had a tall beer (she said tall as if that means something) and she continued to lie and said I was looking at your glasses too. I retreated to my room bc I didn’t want to have a full blown argument. She followed me.
The thing about my mom, when she is super upset she comes super close to me aggressively, like what people do when they are about to fight.
She came into my room and was yelling at me, saying over and over you called me a liar. She got in my face aggressively. I told her many times to get out of my face. It’s like she was trying to get me to fight her. She kept getting closer and closer until I was up against the wall. I was being rational and saying it’s not okay to treat me like this and she kept mocking me. Over and over, while inches from my face when she had me cornered. She wouldn’t listen and move.
We have a power imbalance in our relationship bc while I recover and get stable, they help me with gas sometimes or things like ordering contacts, or I’ll use it to pick up things for her or stuff like paying when I took her cat to the vet. I pet sit and pay for my bills. She gave me a credit card to keep with me just in case. I barely ever use it, usually just for gas id she says it’s okay. I’ve expressed my gratitude many times that they are helping me, while also sharing how embarassed and ashamed I am to lean on my parents and live at home for now. This hasn’t been how it was forever, I lived alone for 9 years in Northern CA. I just needed time to get more stable and save money, and have a place to live while I go to my appointments.
So she was hysterical freaking out, mocking me and getting aggressive. She all of a sudden yelled give me thee credit card now!! I barely ever use it, I don’t give a fuck about the card, she brought it up to throw the money thing in my face even though she knows how humbling it is for me to rely on them.
I said I’m not giving it to you until you get out of my face. She then grabbed my phone and said fine will your not getting your phone tonight. I said I don’t care about the card and you don’t get to treat me like this. She then ran to her office to cancel the card online. I followed her to get my phone back and got my wallet. She was hysterical yelling at me at her computer, and mocking every single thing I said. She twisted my words around. She also then said “Wow what’s going on with you tonight?” Alluding that I was being mentally ill or unstable, which she knew I wasn’t she just threw the good ol “wow have you taken your meds” to do a low blow about my mental illness. That in itself is so hurtful bc they know how much I’ve struggled with this. I told her I’m not giving you the card until you give me my phone. She got up and cornered me again. She got so close to me aggressively and I just kept telling her to back up. She got me against a wall again. Then she hit me multiple times, and I softly but firmly put my knee up and pushed to get her off me. I threw the card at her desk. I was saying that the card has nothing to do with this, you just brought that up to make me feel bad, you are so toxic, I did nothing wrong. She continued mocking me. I left and went into the bathroom and she finally left. I cried a lot in the shower.
I just treated her to a great Mother’s Day. We had a great time. It made me so sad and so hurtful she treated me like this. It keeps replaying in my head and I can’t believe she got so physical with me and hit me. The mocking, gaslighting, lies. Alluding that I was having an episode… that one hurt a lot. She didn’t say it genuinely she said it as an insult. All over a coors light. Her behavior was so toxic. I am hurt. I can’t believe she hit me.
I want to forgive her but I can’t bring myself to. I really don’t want to talk to her at all. She apologized over text but never in person. I’ve been avoiding her. Tonight, I was in the living room and she turned off the lights , I said don’t turn off the lights I’m in here. She coldly said “I don’t care”.
I need to wait to move out til my meds are stabilized and I saved the money. I’m a good roommate, I help them a lot. I miss living alone.
How do I move on from this? Where do I go from here? What should I say to her?
submitted by Ok-Specific7061 to Advice [link] [comments]
(I know there will be people who blame me or judge me for having a mental disability so if you are going to do that, please don’t)
My mom has been sober for 30 years. Before that she was a mess, she’s told me intense stories. She’s very much involved with AA. She’s pretty high up there, she does speaker meanings in front of hundreds of people, all her friends are sober, her brother is sober, and she still goes to meetings regularly. Honestly, I am so grateful and proud of her sobriety. I know AA has helped her. I am super proud of her. She helps people. I just think she might need actual therapy instead of just AA work.
The thing is, she thinks everyone is an alcoholic. She can be very harsh sometimes. Ever since I started drinking alcohol as an adult, she has judged me. I definitely don’t have a drinking or drug problem. I drink maybe 2-3 times a month, a couple of glasses of beer or wine that’s it. I don’t even drink liquor. I’m happy with just a couple beers. I haven’t been blacked out since I was a teenager and I can’t remember the last time I had a hangover.
The thing is (which isn’t my main issue there’s more to this story) she literally judges me so hard if I ever drink or she hears about me drinking. We can be at dinner with the family, I’ll order a glass of cab to go with my pasta, and she will give me dirty looks and make comments. I’ve been dealing with this for 10 years. The one time I was hungover a long time ago I was vomiting, and she gave me so much grief and was like “wow you drank so much you are sick” and won’t leave me alone. At family functions I’ll have a beer with my cousins and she just vibes me so hard. She treats me like I have a serious drinking problem when I clearly don’t. For 10 years she gets shitty with me if she sees me even have one beer.
Well two days ago I had a great beach day. The beach was empty, my dog and I walked for miles, we ran into an old friend. It was such a good day. I deal with depression a lot so I treasure my good days. I was so sad that my day got ruined because of her.
On the way home I got a tall coors light bc it sounded nice after my beach day. I came home, super happy, talking to my parents, making jokes. I made some food, cleaned up the kitchen, did dishes and went to go to my room. we were walking to our rooms at the same time. As I began to say goodnight to my mom, she turned around, stared at the beer and me and gave me a nasty look. The thing about my mom she often lies, if she says something fucked up and I point it out she will lie . She does these lies and it’s so obvious.
After she gave me that nasty look, I calmly said “I’m 30 years old, I’m allowed to have a beer, don’t judge me”. Then she lied and said I was looking at your glasses. Gaslighting me. I told her, no you weren’t. You gave me a look because I have a beer. She denied it and I said “liar”. She lost her shit. She started saying you’re calling me a liar!!!! And started yelling at me. I stood my ground and said you were lying and I don’t appreciate being treated like that, you gave me a look about my beer. Shehe even admitted it and said that yes I saw you had a tall beer (she said tall as if that means something) and she continued to lie and said I was looking at your glasses too. I retreated to my room bc I didn’t want to have a full blown argument. She followed me.
The thing about my mom, when she is super upset she comes super close to me aggressively, like what people do when they are about to fight.
She came into my room and was yelling at me, saying over and over you called me a liar. She got in my face aggressively. I told her many times to get out of my face. It’s like she was trying to get me to fight her. She kept getting closer and closer until I was up against the wall. I was being rational and saying it’s not okay to treat me like this and she kept mocking me. Over and over, while inches from my face when she had me cornered. She wouldn’t listen and move.
We have a power imbalance in our relationship bc while I recover and get stable, they help me with gas sometimes or things like ordering contacts, or I’ll use it to pick up things for her or stuff like paying when I took her cat to the vet. I pet sit and pay for my bills. She gave me a credit card to keep with me just in case. I barely ever use it, usually just for gas id she says it’s okay. I’ve expressed my gratitude many times that they are helping me, while also sharing how embarassed and ashamed I am to lean on my parents and live at home for now. This hasn’t been how it was forever, I lived alone for 9 years in Northern CA. I just needed time to get more stable and save money, and have a place to live while I go to my appointments.
So she was hysterical freaking out, mocking me and getting aggressive. She all of a sudden yelled give me thee credit card now!! I barely ever use it, I don’t give a fuck about the card, she brought it up to throw the money thing in my face even though she knows how humbling it is for me to rely on them.
I said I’m not giving it to you until you get out of my face. She then grabbed my phone and said fine will your not getting your phone tonight. I said I don’t care about the card and you don’t get to treat me like this. She then ran to her office to cancel the card online. I followed her to get my phone back and got my wallet. She was hysterical yelling at me at her computer, and mocking every single thing I said. She twisted my words around. She also then said “Wow what’s going on with you tonight?” Alluding that I was being mentally ill or unstable, which she knew I wasn’t she just threw the good ol “wow have you taken your meds” to do a low blow about my mental illness. That in itself is so hurtful bc they know how much I’ve struggled with this. I told her I’m not giving you the card until you give me my phone. She got up and cornered me again. She got so close to me aggressively and I just kept telling her to back up. She got me against a wall again. Then she hit me multiple times, and I softly but firmly put my knee up and pushed to get her off me. I threw the card at her desk. I was saying that the card has nothing to do with this, you just brought that up to make me feel bad, you are so toxic, I did nothing wrong. She continued mocking me. I left and went into the bathroom and she finally left. I cried a lot in the shower.
I just treated her to a great Mother’s Day. We had a great time. It made me so sad and so hurtful she treated me like this. It keeps replaying in my head and I can’t believe she got so physical with me and hit me. The mocking, gaslighting, lies. Alluding that I was having an episode… that one hurt a lot. She didn’t say it genuinely she said it as an insult. All over a coors light. Her behavior was so toxic. I am hurt. I can’t believe she hit me.
I want to forgive her but I can’t bring myself to. I really don’t want to talk to her at all. She apologized over text but never in person. I’ve been avoiding her. Tonight, I was in the living room and she turned off the lights , I said don’t turn off the lights I’m in here. She coldly said “I don’t care”.
I need to wait to move out til my meds are stabilized and I saved the money. I’m a good roommate, I help them a lot. I miss living alone.
How do I move on from this? Where do I go from here? What should I say to her?
2024.05.19 06:10 brown-habibi I’m (22M) not sure if I’m being overly insecure about my girlfriend (21F) obsessing over a fictional character. How should I address this?
I’m trying to decide whether or not I’m being overly insecure. Before I get to the point, I want to add some context.
My girlfriend and I have been dating for two years, and we’ve been close friends for two years before then. We’re both South Asian (this is somewhat important). During our friendship, she once told me that she would never date a brown guy. This hurt a lot at the time because I was starting to get feelings for her but lo and behold eventually we started dating. I’ve spoken to her about that comment and she’s said she’s very very sorry and she didn’t mean what she said. In either case, that was a long time ago and we’ve moved past it, however sometimes things happen that reopen that wound.
Last year on her birthday, we went to watch the new Hunger Games. During which the protagonist, Snow, a muscular white dude with blue eyes and blonde hair (the exact opposite of what I look like) has a shirtless scene for like 8 minutes. Now that wouldn’t really be a problem but the entire car ride there her best friend was telling her she can’t wait for my gf to see ‘the shirtless scene’ and when the scene came, my girlfriend literally freaked out with her friend and had her jaw wide open. The whole rest of the night she and her friend were joking about how amazing he looked and how much they want to marry him. I was incredibly hurt that night but I didn’t say anything because it was her birthday and there were other things happening in her life that were weighing heavily on her.
Months past and I eventually let it stay in the past, until recently. I started reading the book for which the movie is based off of and I recommended it to my girlfriend. The moment she started reading it I asked her thoughts and she gave me a 10 minute speech about how Snow is her new husband and she wants to marry him and take his last name.
This has been really ruining my day. On one hand, I feel like it’s incredibly insecure and wrong of me to be jealous over a fictional character, on the other I can’t help but feel like shit.
I can’t tell if I’m being overly insecure or if I should just move past these feelings. I’m trying to decide if I should talk to her about it. I almost feel mad at her and I don’t know if that’s fair.
submitted by brown-habibi to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
My girlfriend and I have been dating for two years, and we’ve been close friends for two years before then. We’re both South Asian (this is somewhat important). During our friendship, she once told me that she would never date a brown guy. This hurt a lot at the time because I was starting to get feelings for her but lo and behold eventually we started dating. I’ve spoken to her about that comment and she’s said she’s very very sorry and she didn’t mean what she said. In either case, that was a long time ago and we’ve moved past it, however sometimes things happen that reopen that wound.
Last year on her birthday, we went to watch the new Hunger Games. During which the protagonist, Snow, a muscular white dude with blue eyes and blonde hair (the exact opposite of what I look like) has a shirtless scene for like 8 minutes. Now that wouldn’t really be a problem but the entire car ride there her best friend was telling her she can’t wait for my gf to see ‘the shirtless scene’ and when the scene came, my girlfriend literally freaked out with her friend and had her jaw wide open. The whole rest of the night she and her friend were joking about how amazing he looked and how much they want to marry him. I was incredibly hurt that night but I didn’t say anything because it was her birthday and there were other things happening in her life that were weighing heavily on her.
Months past and I eventually let it stay in the past, until recently. I started reading the book for which the movie is based off of and I recommended it to my girlfriend. The moment she started reading it I asked her thoughts and she gave me a 10 minute speech about how Snow is her new husband and she wants to marry him and take his last name.
This has been really ruining my day. On one hand, I feel like it’s incredibly insecure and wrong of me to be jealous over a fictional character, on the other I can’t help but feel like shit.
I can’t tell if I’m being overly insecure or if I should just move past these feelings. I’m trying to decide if I should talk to her about it. I almost feel mad at her and I don’t know if that’s fair.
2024.05.19 06:07 No-Preference6624 Narcissism or Weaponized Incompetence?
As a writer, I have a conflicted relationship with commissions, but you’re here for the tea. Sorry if this is jumbled, but the client is an amalgamation of every bad commissioner that you have ever read about or that you may have worked for.
First, they ordered a writing commission, but during the first 5000 words they were surprised there was “too much” writing and reading. I told them from the start the first draft would be better off as a script so I could easily adapt into a novel, a D&D homebrew or whatever they desired. They originally had 60 PAGES of characters, but I have cut it down to 31 pages (so far). I gave them three simple ‘homework’ tasks to gather all the information I needed for the three parts of this commission. A plot summary (in bullet points) which took them four months because they insisted on writing it like a novel. The list of characters took six months (they are going back to remake EVERY character reference because it took them so long that the early references are out of date) and they fought me with every character we cut and they still haven’t sent me examples of how they want the D&D homebrew to be formatted. They say they have no idea what to look for as they knew nothing about D&D, but they blew me off for two years playing a D&D game with other friends using a D&D Beyond account ( I do not support Wizards of the Coast). For context, the bullet points took me 2 pages and 2 voice calls with the commissioner to summarize and the list of character names took 3 days and 3 voice calls to compile on Google Doc and move to Trello. What about my plan to script? He INSISTED that I, an expert in my field, should write the novel while he worked with a ‘friend’ of his on the D&D homebrew. Why would he need a script? He didn’t WANT a script.
Only a few weeks later, he ran back to me after being blown off by said ‘friend’, with the genius idea of having me write a script, novel and homebrew. His card is always empty whenever he pays for the next part of the commission because he spends it on $400 sketches and junk food. He refuses to listen when I say he doesn’t need 300+ characters. One of the stories he is plagiarizing is mine. My novel only has 27 characters (including a canine). We will be celebrating the 16 month anniversary of the commission by the time this is posted. He has nine days to finish the characters before I cancel. I’d rather live in my car again. Two hours ago he LITERALLY just made a FULL bio (in the description) with five full body outfits for a character that was deleted. He spent a month adding a shine texture to an npc's tiddies.
After making me wait for 16 months, he has the AUDACITY to get angry at me when I was offline for an emergency and I could only make one of our two commission vcs. Now he’s using the deaths of friend(s) caused by recent global tensions to ADD more characters. Why do you NEED to keep your brother’s ocs? To kill them? Delete them! This psycho has a history of making fictional versions of people who he perceives as having wronged him to kill and/or torture them graphically. Do you really need an entire MONTH? You won’t recycle two characters (that don’t belong to your brother) to fit VITAL roles but you proceed to make two random characters FROM SCRATCH that have nothing to do with those roles. Or last month I asked him for a list of 8 damage modifiers (8 digits) he replied in 12 minutes. This task previously took him an ENTIRE month because he was ‘busy’ with maps (in reality he was blowing up on a ‘friend’ who turned down his art commission on Discord and watching videos). This client is too lazy to browse with Google but he deliberately makes changes in complex organization software to disobey me. I am going to die before this torture ends! Would I be the a–hole if I put a stop to this nightmare?
It’s happening! Finished or not, the commission ends on my birthday. I am sick of getting “Okay.”, "Cool" or "XD" every time I ask him a question about his commission.
Just when I thought I was in the clear, he drops a D&D manual of dice rolling, resting and training mechanics, skill trees and a point buy system he has NEVER mentioned predating these 16 months; all the way back to when we met (2012). He does this the week that I am “finishing” the commission. Did I mention that he has “accidently” erased the maps through his own bad habits. ARGGHH! He’s got until Monday. I don’t care if he pays me one last time. I can’t live like this.
FREEEEEEEEEEEDOM! After 16 months and two weeks.
Since I had writer’s block and another traditional art friend was suffering from art block we decided to remake some of each other's characters in our styles. The subject of this post got excited to join us. What kind of a--holes would we be if we gate kept something this trivial? I remade nine of the subject of this post's characters in my style (in two days). We both use the same program for the same amount of years, but we have developed wildly different styles. Will I ever learn? He spent the whole stream telling me their sweaters were wrong, he disliked the ribbon in one of the girl’s hair because it was too big, asking why do all of the girls have the same stockings (while wearing school uniforms) and why they do not have the exact same skin tones (despite me using the eyedroppecolour picker to show him the neon colours (one background character has eight colours in their hair) he chose in his style does not work with my duller, minimalist palette. Did you ask for me to copy your style or use my own style? After they were done, he listed all of his (multiple) issues with them like nine college essays. I can take criticism, but I had to force one compliment (one word per character) out of him. His criticisms regarded me adapting elements from the references that HE sent me. 90% was negative and 10% positive. Naturally the subject of this post still has not even thought about which character of mine he'd like to remake, but even professionals cannot unravel the web of things this person has done to avoid me even in situations when I am the center of the conversation/activity. I was unsure where to post this since this rant is a bit of most subreddits that I enjoy. Thank you for reading! I have mountains of experiences to share from freelancing and I will have many more in the future.
submitted by No-Preference6624 to EntitledPeople [link] [comments]
First, they ordered a writing commission, but during the first 5000 words they were surprised there was “too much” writing and reading. I told them from the start the first draft would be better off as a script so I could easily adapt into a novel, a D&D homebrew or whatever they desired. They originally had 60 PAGES of characters, but I have cut it down to 31 pages (so far). I gave them three simple ‘homework’ tasks to gather all the information I needed for the three parts of this commission. A plot summary (in bullet points) which took them four months because they insisted on writing it like a novel. The list of characters took six months (they are going back to remake EVERY character reference because it took them so long that the early references are out of date) and they fought me with every character we cut and they still haven’t sent me examples of how they want the D&D homebrew to be formatted. They say they have no idea what to look for as they knew nothing about D&D, but they blew me off for two years playing a D&D game with other friends using a D&D Beyond account ( I do not support Wizards of the Coast). For context, the bullet points took me 2 pages and 2 voice calls with the commissioner to summarize and the list of character names took 3 days and 3 voice calls to compile on Google Doc and move to Trello. What about my plan to script? He INSISTED that I, an expert in my field, should write the novel while he worked with a ‘friend’ of his on the D&D homebrew. Why would he need a script? He didn’t WANT a script.
Only a few weeks later, he ran back to me after being blown off by said ‘friend’, with the genius idea of having me write a script, novel and homebrew. His card is always empty whenever he pays for the next part of the commission because he spends it on $400 sketches and junk food. He refuses to listen when I say he doesn’t need 300+ characters. One of the stories he is plagiarizing is mine. My novel only has 27 characters (including a canine). We will be celebrating the 16 month anniversary of the commission by the time this is posted. He has nine days to finish the characters before I cancel. I’d rather live in my car again. Two hours ago he LITERALLY just made a FULL bio (in the description) with five full body outfits for a character that was deleted. He spent a month adding a shine texture to an npc's tiddies.
After making me wait for 16 months, he has the AUDACITY to get angry at me when I was offline for an emergency and I could only make one of our two commission vcs. Now he’s using the deaths of friend(s) caused by recent global tensions to ADD more characters. Why do you NEED to keep your brother’s ocs? To kill them? Delete them! This psycho has a history of making fictional versions of people who he perceives as having wronged him to kill and/or torture them graphically. Do you really need an entire MONTH? You won’t recycle two characters (that don’t belong to your brother) to fit VITAL roles but you proceed to make two random characters FROM SCRATCH that have nothing to do with those roles. Or last month I asked him for a list of 8 damage modifiers (8 digits) he replied in 12 minutes. This task previously took him an ENTIRE month because he was ‘busy’ with maps (in reality he was blowing up on a ‘friend’ who turned down his art commission on Discord and watching videos). This client is too lazy to browse with Google but he deliberately makes changes in complex organization software to disobey me. I am going to die before this torture ends! Would I be the a–hole if I put a stop to this nightmare?
It’s happening! Finished or not, the commission ends on my birthday. I am sick of getting “Okay.”, "Cool" or "XD" every time I ask him a question about his commission.
Just when I thought I was in the clear, he drops a D&D manual of dice rolling, resting and training mechanics, skill trees and a point buy system he has NEVER mentioned predating these 16 months; all the way back to when we met (2012). He does this the week that I am “finishing” the commission. Did I mention that he has “accidently” erased the maps through his own bad habits. ARGGHH! He’s got until Monday. I don’t care if he pays me one last time. I can’t live like this.
FREEEEEEEEEEEDOM! After 16 months and two weeks.
Since I had writer’s block and another traditional art friend was suffering from art block we decided to remake some of each other's characters in our styles. The subject of this post got excited to join us. What kind of a--holes would we be if we gate kept something this trivial? I remade nine of the subject of this post's characters in my style (in two days). We both use the same program for the same amount of years, but we have developed wildly different styles. Will I ever learn? He spent the whole stream telling me their sweaters were wrong, he disliked the ribbon in one of the girl’s hair because it was too big, asking why do all of the girls have the same stockings (while wearing school uniforms) and why they do not have the exact same skin tones (despite me using the eyedroppecolour picker to show him the neon colours (one background character has eight colours in their hair) he chose in his style does not work with my duller, minimalist palette. Did you ask for me to copy your style or use my own style? After they were done, he listed all of his (multiple) issues with them like nine college essays. I can take criticism, but I had to force one compliment (one word per character) out of him. His criticisms regarded me adapting elements from the references that HE sent me. 90% was negative and 10% positive. Naturally the subject of this post still has not even thought about which character of mine he'd like to remake, but even professionals cannot unravel the web of things this person has done to avoid me even in situations when I am the center of the conversation/activity. I was unsure where to post this since this rant is a bit of most subreddits that I enjoy. Thank you for reading! I have mountains of experiences to share from freelancing and I will have many more in the future.