A homemade gift for my girlfriend
Ramen!
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2008.07.26 09:29 Unique gift ideas for your loved ones..
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2008.05.27 01:47 Happy Holidays!
For the people who love the time when the Christmas Holidays come around Santa comes and visits us and we celebrate Christmas!
2024.05.19 10:05 ggwplucky [Abandoned Pools] Sony Connect Track by Track Interview
![[Abandoned Pools] Sony Connect Track by Track Interview](https://b.thumbs.redditmedia.com/Wh_F6hlvj3-qiM2-gJFE7A7mKUd6-BFPlteTdOzhJWY.jpg "[Abandoned Pools] Sony Connect Track by Track Interview") | A while back I was messing around with the Wayback Machine & came across this diamond in the rough on AP's MySpace page. Also found some photos, but most importantly, a track-by-track [Armed To The Teeth] interview from Sony Connect that they did back in '05 (presumably around the same time they did the Sony Connect set with the acoustic songs). submitted by ggwplucky to AbandonedPools [link] [comments] In the interview, Tommy tells the story behind each track on Armed To The Teeth (except Lucky). You'll also find tidbits about the process, lyrically & sonically of these songs, and much more! If you want to read it/see it from the "raw" source and discover more, here's a link with the Wayback's capture I found on the interview blog: https://web.archive.org/web/20071005015435/http://www.myspace.com/abandonedpools Now without further ado, the Sonic Connect Interview: A track by track discussion of Armed to the Teeth from the Sony Connect Store interview: LETHAL KILLERS TW: As far as how that [demo of the] song was constructed ... I did this trick where I would take a half-time drum loop and sort of nudge it one way and then put in another track and nudge it the other, and we got this sort of double time, rolling drum feel. So that - plus the sort of round-robin type of guitar parts that we have going - was sort of a very easy construction for a song. And then you start moving the bass part around, and, boom, you've got a song. But I think that lyrically - I want to make it clear that that song isn't necessarily [about] "church is bad, government's bad." I think it's a little bit more complicated than that, though sometimes if you mix the two of religious power and government power, that can be bad for both of them. And I kinda like the idea of not living a life saying, "Well, you better live life in a certain way because then, you know, everything's gonna be great later in heaven." You know, the idea of, like, if this is all we have now, if that idea was just a little bit more embraced, our world could be a little bit better. I just find that a little bit more satisfying, too, if you think like, this is all you have and then you're gonna die. [Laughs] It seems a little bit more like, "Oh, okay, well!" instead of, like, thinking that there's some other life at some other time and you can put things off. RABBLE TW: Well, a lot of the songs on this record - about two-thirds of it - have to do with a relationship I had that went south, and you know when you go through relationships you always have such a good 20/20 hindsight about things. And I think "Rabble" is just trying to basically say to somebody, "I just wanted to know you better" . . . It's just one of those things where, with this relationship in particular, I wish it would have turned out better. And there's a lot of things that happened that shouldn't have happened, and it's just sort of one of those "oh, what could have been?" scenarios. THE CATALYST TW: "The Catalyst" is definitely along the same lines. I think the main line in that one is "I wish I could say something beautiful to make you fall in love again." There's a Coachella reference in there, too: "Love has slowly faded away like spotlights shining into space." Have you ever been to Coachella? Of course you have. You know, there's all those spotlights that shoot up in the air. I just thought that was kinda cool, like, how far do those lights really go? "The Catalyst" was also the last song written for the record. It was demoed while we were in the studio. And it's one of those songs that I said two-thirds of the record was written for somebody. That's one of them. TIGHTER NOOSE TW: "Tighter Noose" is the oldest song on the record by far. It was probably written back in '99, 2000, or somewhere in there. I was thinking about it for the first record [2001's Humanistic], but it didn't really fit in with those kind of songs, so I kept it around and we'd even play it live occasionally. I think it fits in with these songs way better. [As for what "Tighter Noose" is about,] that song is one of those breaking-off-on-your-own- what-have-you-got-to-lose kind of things, because that was written sort of in the wake of when I was in The Eels. It wasn't a terribly happy situation, so I was like, well screw it, I'm just gonna go off and do my own thing. And then it's sort of like, well, you know: "I'm gonna go start my own thing. Uh, I have to learn to sing and write songs now." [Laughs] It's kinda funny: "Screw you guys! I'm gonna go get a deal!" And then like, "Uh oh." But really, I'm a firm believer in that [idea that] you just gotta go for it. And so it was like, well, this is gonna be difficult, but it's gonna be better than what I had before. And actually, with some distance on that situation, I realized I made the right decision and made a lot more money and was a lot more happy as a result. So that was sort of a leap of faith, you know. I didn't want to be someone's stupid bass player. Now I'm my own stupid bass player. WAITING TO PANIC TW: There was a lull between record companies. The first record [Humanistic] was on Extasy - I don't know if you know about that company, but we were basically the poster-child for the implosion of an indie label. I came off the road in 2002, the label's folding, and I'm like, well, I'm just gonna go back and give this my best shot and we'll get another deal. It seemed highly unlikely, but we ended up doing it. And there was just a lull in there where nobody was interested. I had attorneys not returning my phone calls - that kinda stuff. It felt like, I'm just waiting around and I'm really anxious. So that was a song of frustration that was written and demoed all in one day - it was a song that just came out of me in like eight hours. We also put an EP out [The Reverb EP] and on the EP is the version of that demo that I did in one day. It doesn't happen [like that] very often. Usually I build bed tracks and come back to it a few weeks later and add something, and then come back a couple of days later. This one was all in one shot. HUNTING TW: My friend Ross Golan, who has his own band Ross Golan and Molehead, had been following the wake of the relationship. He's like, "You just gotta write her a song and use her name." And I'm like, nah, nah, it's not covered enough. And he's like, "No, just do it. Go for it." So I did. I wrote this song and I wrote it for her for her birthday and I used her name, which is in the first lyric of the song, which is "Ginny." So I just went for it and wrote it. It was basically a birthday gift, and it was basically saying, like, you know, "Oops!" [Laughs] It didn't get me very far, but I like the song. We're friends, she's a good girl, absolutely, but back at that time, it was kinda like, "Erraaghhh! Here's a song!" But I like the song and I just think it was one of those times where I was really putting myself out there, and I know she liked it, too. But then, I think that's a myth where you just write a song and all of a sudden the girl just says, "Oh! Okay!" But, you know, hey. There it is. It's on the record. That's the romantic notion of how they'll react to the song, at least. TW: Exactly. And I'm really glad we're past that whole ironic phase, which I was part of with The Eels, where everything was super ironic and we'd play "The Macarena" on stage - [sarcastically] and that was funny! I'm glad we're through all that stuff, even though I was still a Beck fan when he was doing all that stuff, too. But I like being sincere and sappy and romantic. I kinda think that's a great thing. ARMED TO THE TEETH TW: This is one of the first songs written when we came off the road and I had a lot of momentum. If you look at the state of the industry you can see a lot of corporations that seem to have to buy everything in sight. They just have to own everything, and to what purpose? Does it really make the industry much better? No. There's fewer outlets, there's a lot more gatekeepers. They want to buy stuff and it just kinda makes things bad for everybody. All the radio stations play the same shit - except for Indie 103.1 and KCRW in L.A. In spite of it all, I'm just gonna try to do my best and have a career anyway. When we came off the road I felt like I had a lot of momentum. Performing live is inspiring to writing, so it was just the whole idea of, "Alright, now that I have one record under my belt, I'm gonna really go for it in spite of all the forces that be." Even though they're pretty much indifferent to us, [laughs] their actions do affect us. It's sort of a song of bravado. Why did you also choose "Armed To The Teeth" as the name of the album, too, which, in turn, implies it as the overall theme? TW: Yeah, which is funny, since I kinda decided on that theme early on, thinking I was gonna go in a certain way, but then, like I said, two-thirds of the record is love songs. So "Armed To The Teeth" doesn't really fit in a certain way, but I also liked it just because [of] that idea of, like, now I'm really ready to make a record, and also I think it reflects the state of the country a little bit. Everything's a little bit aggressive, we're at war, and I thought it was sort of timely in that way SOONER OR LATER TW: "Sooner Or Later" is another one of those tracks that was written after we got signed, so it's a newer song. I mentioned that sort of double time drum loop thing with "Lethal Killers" - this is the same thing. It's a half time drum loop that I nudged in one direction and then put in another track and nudge it in the other, then "boom," it's double time. And I like that, it's a good effect. It really sets up this kind of overlapping, rolling sound that a real drummer can't do. And things flam a little bit, and I really like that feel, so this song was constructed in the same manner where you have a rolling drum loop and then you put over a couple of guitar parts here and there and all of a sudden you got a song - I think this song is over six minutes. This is, um, I guess it's a couple things. Lyrically, it's sort of saying, like, whatever you do or whatever you say, there's no point in hiding anything because it all comes out in the end - which is the tagline in the chorus. There's no hiding. And in the verse it says, "Sooner or later / It's all coming down." In some way or another, whether you acknowledge it or if it just eats at your self, you can't really get away with anything. It's sort of fatalistic that way, but also in terms of, like, seeing how I also look at as a bigger picture of, like, politically, and since we're at war right now, it seems like things are getting a little scary. And that's kind of like one of those doomsday scenarios. If you look around a little you can really freak yourself out if you're reading about, like, bio-warfare and things like that. So a lot of this talk about "smoking gun in the shape of a mushroom cloud" and all that, it sort of brought up for me a lot of doomsday scenarios. So it's two-fold: it's that doomsday scenario, in terms of as far as the world is concerned, and then, personally, if you do stupid shit then you're eventually gonna pay for it somehow. SAILING SEAS TW: Like "Hunting," this is probably the most direct, out-there storytelling song. Instead of using her [real] name, it's switched to "Holly," which is in the chorus. So it's another one of those songs talking straight to somebody. And there's a lot of details in there that I wouldn't talk about in normal conversation. That's the funny thing about songwriting where I wouldn't talk about this, but then I can put it in this song and you can still hear it and you still understand, but it's sort of masked a little bit. It's presented in a certain way where it's somehow okay to say that when you're in a major key or something. Because like, the second verse is about pretending you're outside a room listening to somebody [you love] have sex [with someone else], and that's a situation to put yourself into to really torture yourself. I created this scenario in my head and I put it in a song, and it's kinda brutal, but the [beat of the] song is upbeat and happy. RENEGADE TW: This is a sample-based type song [with] drum loops. The cello was originally a Bjork sample and we replaced it. This one is sort of hard to explain. To me it’s just sort of like just a creation, because some of the record is social commentary, and I think there's a lot of that in this song, and it's like little snippets and ideas, and not necessarily one unifying idea. I think it's just kind of a song based on looking around and taking stock of things. This song in particular isn't really even about anything. It's just, like, observations, pretty much. And, oh, by the way, Billy Howerdel, the guitarist from A Perfect Circle, is playing guitar on that song. He jumped on that track and he's the one that makes it sound scary. MAYBE THEN SOMEDAY TW: That was one of the first songs written in the wake of the breakup. It was one of those kind of "well-it-just-didn't-work-out-but-maybe-one-day-we'll-see-what-happens" kind of things. Because the circumstances are such that it wasn't gonna happen immediately so I was kinda like, well, we'll see. I don't have much to say about that; it's just grouped in with "songs about her." GOODBYE SONG TW: That was also written when there was not a lot going on for me and we hadn't really nailed down the record deal. She [Tommy's ex-girlfriend] always thought she was bad luck - she'd show up and bad things would start happening - so she thought it was her fault that I hadn't got a deal. She actually moved away and soon as she did, we got a deal. [Laughs] I think it's funny to sort of say, like the first line of the song is "I'm not washed up / And you're not bad luck for anyone," so, you know, get off the ledge, really. And it's just one of those things; it's one of those yearning songs. I think with a lot of those songs there's a certain amount of effort spent on presenting evidence, like, "Look, I know this is how you feel, but look at all the other stuff." It's almost like making a case for your self [in a song]. And like I said, it didn't get me far, but it's still a good venting process. And I sort of realize when I say things like, "I wrote this for her" or whatever, it's not really for her. It's more self-indulgent to get this stuff out. And in a way you're saying, "Yeah, I wrote this song for you," but no, you wrote it for yourself so you could say things that you felt like saying. So I realize that and I think I realized that while I was writing them, but my job is to write songs so you take from what's around you to make it happen. |
2024.05.19 09:49 AdvancedApartment705 AITA for wanting to act like my daughter dad never showed up?
TLDR: MY daughter dad showed up 2 years ago and has been inconsistent at best in these two years. AITA for wanting to block him and proceed as if he never contacted us?
AITA
This is gonna be probably pretty long and all over the place but I'll try and keep it straight and to the point.
So I have a daughter. She is 11 almost 12. For the first 9+ years of her life her dad had not been involved. ( She was a fortune product of a one night stand) When he showed up almost two years ago it was with some fabricated story that a child support case worker alienated him and threatened him with harassment if he pursued a relationship with his daughter. I did try to reach out a couple times when she was younger trying to encourage a relationship between them and all attempts went ignored. He says this is because he was afraid I was setting him up. Well up until this past December I took him at his word. He was semi involved until that point. In December he met a woman and all contact stopped minus a few check ins and multiple inappropriate messages to me considering he was in a relationship. Each time this happened I would lay a boundary. During one of these contacts he promised he'd send his child support and $100 for Christmas/Birthday gift for her. That did not happen. He instead sent me a dirty video saying he "hoped that made up for it" 🤮🤮🤮 at this point I lost my iiisssshhhhh on him and told him essentially he was in a relationship and needed to knock it off. I didn't want to see that and it was disrespectful to me and his partner.
He moved in with this partner within a month of meeting her. Red flag right?
Before he met her I was trying to help him find an apartment locally as he lives 200 miles away. I absolutely advocated for him to have a relationship with his daughter from the second he showed up because I've never been the type to keep my children from their father unless it was for good reason. He was supposed to get her a phone and pay for it so they could maintain contact. Never happened. I supplied the phone and the service and it was silent.
After he had sent me that video I had put him on restricted on FB so I didn't get any messages from him. I finally get a call from him on Valentine's day apologizing for his behavior and letting me know he was sending some child support that day.
Then at some point in March he reaches out again saying he was no longer with this girl and he was sorry for his absence and he'd do better. The following week our daughter's phone caught fire and I let him know (not that he was contacting her anyways). The next day he said his cousin had gifted him a phone and he wanted to send it to our daughter. Cool. Let's do it. Then he texts a few days later saying he would be in a town 45 miles south of me and could I meet him and said girlfriend to receive the phone and bring our daughter so he could see her. (At this point the last I knew him and chick had broken up). I said no thanks you can drop it in the mail and I would not be bringing our daughter to meet him with the on again off again girlfriend. I found that extremely disrespectful as he had stopped contact with our daughter when he met this woman and I did not feel comfortable bringing my daughter to meet her or even really dealing with her myself. They obviously have an unstable relationship. He called me petty, we had som choice words and again I didn't hear from him.
Two days ago our daughter was admitted to a psychiatric facility after I found some very concerning diary entries by my daughter talking about Una living herself.
Since coming into our lives my daughter has turned into a mean spirited person. She will fat shame her brothers, hit and push her you get siblings and is just kind of generally abusive to everyone around her. She's told me multiple times she's angry at him and very hurt.
Anyways, I figured he ought to know she's being admitted as this is pretty serious. His response was "we are trying to figure a way up there". As in him and the girlfriend were going to come up while our child was in crisis. I went off again. Telling him again he has chosen this woman over our daughter and how dare he think it's appropriate to bring this woman up here while outr daughter is in crisis. I told him it is up to our daughter if they are involved and just showing up ESPECIALLY with the person she feels (justifyibly so) that he chose over her while she's in crisis. He come back with he has no idea why I'm bringing it back to him and the girlfriend when we should be focusing on getting our daughter better. My stance is, he brought it up. He asked for eventually for us all to be able to be cool and again he implied he was going to try and bring her up here to visit our daughter in the hospital. I laid a boundary. And some how I am the one not focusing on our daughter right now.
This was yesterday and I have not heard one word from him. He has not inquired as to how our daughter is, what facility she is at, how he can contact her. Nothing. I am so irate at this point I am seeing red.
AITA for being so angry at him? In my state abandonment is after 6 months. He was gone for 9 years. He has been inconsistent at best especially the last 6 months or so. Would I be justified in just blocking him and continuing on with our life like he never showed up?
submitted by AdvancedApartment705 to AITAH [link] [comments]
AITA
This is gonna be probably pretty long and all over the place but I'll try and keep it straight and to the point.
So I have a daughter. She is 11 almost 12. For the first 9+ years of her life her dad had not been involved. ( She was a fortune product of a one night stand) When he showed up almost two years ago it was with some fabricated story that a child support case worker alienated him and threatened him with harassment if he pursued a relationship with his daughter. I did try to reach out a couple times when she was younger trying to encourage a relationship between them and all attempts went ignored. He says this is because he was afraid I was setting him up. Well up until this past December I took him at his word. He was semi involved until that point. In December he met a woman and all contact stopped minus a few check ins and multiple inappropriate messages to me considering he was in a relationship. Each time this happened I would lay a boundary. During one of these contacts he promised he'd send his child support and $100 for Christmas/Birthday gift for her. That did not happen. He instead sent me a dirty video saying he "hoped that made up for it" 🤮🤮🤮 at this point I lost my iiisssshhhhh on him and told him essentially he was in a relationship and needed to knock it off. I didn't want to see that and it was disrespectful to me and his partner.
He moved in with this partner within a month of meeting her. Red flag right?
Before he met her I was trying to help him find an apartment locally as he lives 200 miles away. I absolutely advocated for him to have a relationship with his daughter from the second he showed up because I've never been the type to keep my children from their father unless it was for good reason. He was supposed to get her a phone and pay for it so they could maintain contact. Never happened. I supplied the phone and the service and it was silent.
After he had sent me that video I had put him on restricted on FB so I didn't get any messages from him. I finally get a call from him on Valentine's day apologizing for his behavior and letting me know he was sending some child support that day.
Then at some point in March he reaches out again saying he was no longer with this girl and he was sorry for his absence and he'd do better. The following week our daughter's phone caught fire and I let him know (not that he was contacting her anyways). The next day he said his cousin had gifted him a phone and he wanted to send it to our daughter. Cool. Let's do it. Then he texts a few days later saying he would be in a town 45 miles south of me and could I meet him and said girlfriend to receive the phone and bring our daughter so he could see her. (At this point the last I knew him and chick had broken up). I said no thanks you can drop it in the mail and I would not be bringing our daughter to meet him with the on again off again girlfriend. I found that extremely disrespectful as he had stopped contact with our daughter when he met this woman and I did not feel comfortable bringing my daughter to meet her or even really dealing with her myself. They obviously have an unstable relationship. He called me petty, we had som choice words and again I didn't hear from him.
Two days ago our daughter was admitted to a psychiatric facility after I found some very concerning diary entries by my daughter talking about Una living herself.
Since coming into our lives my daughter has turned into a mean spirited person. She will fat shame her brothers, hit and push her you get siblings and is just kind of generally abusive to everyone around her. She's told me multiple times she's angry at him and very hurt.
Anyways, I figured he ought to know she's being admitted as this is pretty serious. His response was "we are trying to figure a way up there". As in him and the girlfriend were going to come up while our child was in crisis. I went off again. Telling him again he has chosen this woman over our daughter and how dare he think it's appropriate to bring this woman up here while outr daughter is in crisis. I told him it is up to our daughter if they are involved and just showing up ESPECIALLY with the person she feels (justifyibly so) that he chose over her while she's in crisis. He come back with he has no idea why I'm bringing it back to him and the girlfriend when we should be focusing on getting our daughter better. My stance is, he brought it up. He asked for eventually for us all to be able to be cool and again he implied he was going to try and bring her up here to visit our daughter in the hospital. I laid a boundary. And some how I am the one not focusing on our daughter right now.
This was yesterday and I have not heard one word from him. He has not inquired as to how our daughter is, what facility she is at, how he can contact her. Nothing. I am so irate at this point I am seeing red.
AITA for being so angry at him? In my state abandonment is after 6 months. He was gone for 9 years. He has been inconsistent at best especially the last 6 months or so. Would I be justified in just blocking him and continuing on with our life like he never showed up?
2024.05.19 08:24 FoxFengzTTV Running Away, like always..
I guess this is my attempt to reflect and vent.
Backstory we were together for over 2yrs in a long-distance relationship (2.5hr drive)
I messed up big with my FP.. Couple weekends ago we made plans and got ourselves an airbnb to spend time together and connect. Day comes and I ended up coming down with a cough, which in result made me extra tired (my sleeping too much on our time together has been a sore spot). Anyways everything we were doing I ended up passing out during; laying in a hammock, relaxing on the bed watching tv, back rubs, most of the first day I slept through. Which she brought up saying it makes her sad - I did not handle this well and ultimately things went downhill and I said "if your feelings are you're sad bc I'm tired then thats stupid". She ended up spending an hour outside away from me while I continued to stew in bed.. she came back eventually and had a pillow between us so I didnt attempt to cuddle or anything and just went to bed. Woke up to her crying and telling me "i want to go home", so I started packing up my things 🙃 basically after 2hrs arguing I left. Ran away. When we still had 2days left on the airbnb.
She seemingly forgave me for this as I hadnt left like that before, and given that I promised not to do it again. So I offered to come over the following weekend to make up for the bad one. Things went well the first day.. but the sexond day when night time came and I asked "if (M) would mind that I stole one of his edibles to watch the northern lights" and she immediately got upset and asked why? (Context she doesnt like me smoking weed, but said edibles were fine). So i responded "Nevermind sorry I even asked then" and went to lay down. She was not accepting of this apology as it was said with a tone and now I was closed off. I apologized several more times, before getting upset we couldn't just move past this and asked that we talk about it in the morning. Nope, we had to talk about it then. So i was overwhelmed and started packing up my things to leave..again. I ended up staying til morning and woke up to a buncha gifts I gave her packed next to my things. When I saw her get up I told her "I dont want the stuff I gave you back, I dont give gifts just to take them back'. We ended up talking for FOUR HOURS before I finally called it quits when we both came to the conclusion that we dont know what resolve there is to fix this. So I started packing up to leave. She told me "if you leave again we're done". I responded "then I guess we're done." And made my exit..
We've still been talking bc she wants me to understand and help alleviate this frustration Ive caused.. but it feels like its best to just let her find someone better fitting. It just sucks.. i dont want to be this way. We're both unhappy with the outcome, but there is no fixing whats broken 💔 if you made it this far thank you! Kind words, words of wisdom, relating, feedback is all welcome 🙏
TLDR: I run away from conflict, left my girlfriend twice and now shes not coming back.
submitted by FoxFengzTTV to BPD [link] [comments]
Backstory we were together for over 2yrs in a long-distance relationship (2.5hr drive)
I messed up big with my FP.. Couple weekends ago we made plans and got ourselves an airbnb to spend time together and connect. Day comes and I ended up coming down with a cough, which in result made me extra tired (my sleeping too much on our time together has been a sore spot). Anyways everything we were doing I ended up passing out during; laying in a hammock, relaxing on the bed watching tv, back rubs, most of the first day I slept through. Which she brought up saying it makes her sad - I did not handle this well and ultimately things went downhill and I said "if your feelings are you're sad bc I'm tired then thats stupid". She ended up spending an hour outside away from me while I continued to stew in bed.. she came back eventually and had a pillow between us so I didnt attempt to cuddle or anything and just went to bed. Woke up to her crying and telling me "i want to go home", so I started packing up my things 🙃 basically after 2hrs arguing I left. Ran away. When we still had 2days left on the airbnb.
She seemingly forgave me for this as I hadnt left like that before, and given that I promised not to do it again. So I offered to come over the following weekend to make up for the bad one. Things went well the first day.. but the sexond day when night time came and I asked "if (M) would mind that I stole one of his edibles to watch the northern lights" and she immediately got upset and asked why? (Context she doesnt like me smoking weed, but said edibles were fine). So i responded "Nevermind sorry I even asked then" and went to lay down. She was not accepting of this apology as it was said with a tone and now I was closed off. I apologized several more times, before getting upset we couldn't just move past this and asked that we talk about it in the morning. Nope, we had to talk about it then. So i was overwhelmed and started packing up my things to leave..again. I ended up staying til morning and woke up to a buncha gifts I gave her packed next to my things. When I saw her get up I told her "I dont want the stuff I gave you back, I dont give gifts just to take them back'. We ended up talking for FOUR HOURS before I finally called it quits when we both came to the conclusion that we dont know what resolve there is to fix this. So I started packing up to leave. She told me "if you leave again we're done". I responded "then I guess we're done." And made my exit..
We've still been talking bc she wants me to understand and help alleviate this frustration Ive caused.. but it feels like its best to just let her find someone better fitting. It just sucks.. i dont want to be this way. We're both unhappy with the outcome, but there is no fixing whats broken 💔 if you made it this far thank you! Kind words, words of wisdom, relating, feedback is all welcome 🙏
TLDR: I run away from conflict, left my girlfriend twice and now shes not coming back.
2024.05.19 08:13 ExpensiveComplex745 People say I 20M changed because of my girlfriend 19F , what do you think?
I 20M started dating a girl 19F around 8 months ago. She was the best thing that happened to me. Even before meeting her, I was pretty good and socially popular, but meeting her was just icing on the cake (she was literally the best, she comforted me, she did all my homework, and somehow Idk if it's good at all but it seemed I was the center of her life, all her future plans were with me, her every action connected to me somehow). She on the other hand had severe emotional trauma, and an identity crisis, including a lack of independence, and a lack of awareness of what she wants (all accredited to her parents). She also had some personality crisis, like she had been faking herself for so long that she forgot who she really was. I helped her through all of these things, she can now accept her true personality and be as she is (she was always pressurized to be this certain version by her parents), and she knows what she wants (earlier all her outfits were selected by her mom, now she has a voice of her own and wears what she likes), etc. Lately, every person and I'm not just talking friends here, the uni authorities the educators, the seniors, everyone has just one thing to say - this girl is sucking the life out of this boy, he is not the same cheerful kid he was some months ago, and his smile is long gone. My question is is it even possible, I don't suspect a thing, but everyone around me is thinking the aforementioned and not a single is saying otherwise. The seniors are saying that I'd end up ruining my career if I stick with her, I really don't know if it's possible - she's the sweetest most innocent girl I've ever seen. One thing that stuns me is that we've never in 8-9 months had an argument, never have we had a fight (minor things exist like I crack a joke and she's not in the mood, but that's very rare), and never have her opinions been different from mine! To be honest I'm a very difficult guy to be with, for eg since we almost spend the entire day together in uni, I'm not the guy to specially take her out on weekends, I'm not really the gifting type either (tho I'll add that I verbally praise her a lot), i crack a lot of offensive jokes, especially targetted at her parents (ya know, for what they did to her), I make her jealous often (all in good spirits, lol), and she somehow agreed with everything as well, like she had no problem with anything whatsoever. I'm actually so surprised at these points that make me question if what everyone is saying is true (like the too good to be true case). I didn't wanna bring this point in, but (and let me say i do not believe in astrology), 3 astrologers (first when I was around 10, the other when I was around 15, and the last very recently) told my family, that before I turn 21 a girl would come in my life, who would distance me from my mom and eventually, ruin my careelife. My mom has disliked my girlfriend since the 3rd month or so, earlier she tried hard to like her. My mom has had huge fights and given silent treatments to me for the last 5 months, and the epicenter of almost all fights (when I say fights I literally mean hours of yelling) and silent treatments (which I do not defend at all, and have been min 3 to max 10 days long) have been her. My mom, in addition to all the points she has against my gf, thinks that she might be a gold digger. I really don't know what to say, tbh it goes without saying that earlier I was very cheerful and had a very positive mindset as compared to the present, like in the last sem vs this sem. Please, is it even possible??!
submitted by ExpensiveComplex745 to Advice [link] [comments]
2024.05.19 07:30 throwRA_5312723 My parents (67M, 68F) is forcing me (25M) to leave my gf (25F) solely because of her medical condition. What should I do?
Me (25M) and my gf (25F) has been together for more than 6 years. We survived long-distance relationship for the first 3 years and had a amazing relationship for the subsequent 3 years. She is my best friend, close confidant and we cannot imagine our lives without each other. We rarely ever argues and our personality complements each other, and our friends too always said we are a perfect couple. Essentially, she's the perfect one for me.
Initially, my parents loved her a lot too. They always showered her with gifts and really supported us being together. In fact, my parents had been nagging us to get married soon.
However, my gf is a carrier of BRCA-2 gene mutation, which means, she will be at a higher risk of getting breast cancer and ovarian cancer in the future.
I am well aware of her condition and am ready to support her and walk with her, as her future husband. We planned everything we needed to do: such as getting IVF done to prevent the gene from being passed down and her getting her breasts removed to prevent cancer from developing.
Unfortunately, I decided to tell my parents about my gf's gene mutation, hoping to get their understanding and support. However, they did not take it lightly. My mom threw a massive fit and demanded me to leave my girlfriend immediately. Essentially, they don't want my girlfriend to be "imperfect" and they don't want me to potentially suffer from taking care of my gf in the future such as bringing her to hospital appointments and stuff. They also said that the costs of IVF and her treatment can be too expensive (even though we have medical insurances already) and denied us together.
My girlfriend had been really heartbroken because of this but she's still willing to put up with my parents if it means us getting married and be together.
Today, my mom has placed an ultimatum on me: either leave my girlfriend or be disowned by them (I am their only son btw). I love my girlfriend too much and I can't imagine breaking up with her. I also do feel it is way too cruel to leave my girlfriend JUST because of her genetic predisposition to cancer.
So, I don't know what to do. Any advice will be appreciated!
TL,DR: my gf and I had a 6-year strong relationship together and my parents loved her. But my gf has a genetic mutation that places her at higher risk of getting cancer in the future. Now my parents is asking me to either leave her just because of her cancer risk or be disowned by family. What should I do?
submitted by throwRA_5312723 to relationships [link] [comments]
Initially, my parents loved her a lot too. They always showered her with gifts and really supported us being together. In fact, my parents had been nagging us to get married soon.
However, my gf is a carrier of BRCA-2 gene mutation, which means, she will be at a higher risk of getting breast cancer and ovarian cancer in the future.
I am well aware of her condition and am ready to support her and walk with her, as her future husband. We planned everything we needed to do: such as getting IVF done to prevent the gene from being passed down and her getting her breasts removed to prevent cancer from developing.
Unfortunately, I decided to tell my parents about my gf's gene mutation, hoping to get their understanding and support. However, they did not take it lightly. My mom threw a massive fit and demanded me to leave my girlfriend immediately. Essentially, they don't want my girlfriend to be "imperfect" and they don't want me to potentially suffer from taking care of my gf in the future such as bringing her to hospital appointments and stuff. They also said that the costs of IVF and her treatment can be too expensive (even though we have medical insurances already) and denied us together.
My girlfriend had been really heartbroken because of this but she's still willing to put up with my parents if it means us getting married and be together.
Today, my mom has placed an ultimatum on me: either leave my girlfriend or be disowned by them (I am their only son btw). I love my girlfriend too much and I can't imagine breaking up with her. I also do feel it is way too cruel to leave my girlfriend JUST because of her genetic predisposition to cancer.
So, I don't know what to do. Any advice will be appreciated!
TL,DR: my gf and I had a 6-year strong relationship together and my parents loved her. But my gf has a genetic mutation that places her at higher risk of getting cancer in the future. Now my parents is asking me to either leave her just because of her cancer risk or be disowned by family. What should I do?
2024.05.19 06:10 Trichogamma 1000 Days on Estrogen!
Hello! I am planning a small celebration for my girlfriend's 1000th day on estrogen and am wanting to get her a gift. I am a cis female and want to give her something appropriate and supportive for the occasion. We are both broke college students so we usually make gifts for each other, but I saved up some money to buy her something. She likes jewelry, music (she plays the Trombone), video games, and cats. Any ideas?
submitted by Trichogamma to asktransgender [link] [comments]
2024.05.19 06:04 ExpensiveComplex745 People say I 20M changed because of my girlfriend 19F , what do you think?
I 20M started dating a girl 19F around 8 months ago. She was the best thing that happened to me. Even before meeting her, I was pretty good and socially popular, but meeting her was just icing on the cake (she was literally the best, she comforted me, she did all my homework, and somehow Idk if it's good at all but it seemed I was the center of her life, all her future plans were with me, her every action connected to me somehow). She on the other hand had severe emotional trauma, and an identity crisis, including a lack of independence, and a lack of awareness of what she wants (all accredited to her parents). She also had some personality crisis, like she had been faking herself for so long that she forgot who she really was. I helped her through all of these things, she can now accept her true personality and be as she is (she was always pressurized to be this certain version by her parents), and she knows what she wants (earlier all her outfits were selected by her mom, now she has a voice of her own and wears what she likes), etc. Lately, every person and I'm not just talking friends here, the uni authorities the educators, the seniors, everyone has just one thing to say - this girl is sucking the life out of this boy, he is not the same cheerful kid he was some months ago, and his smile is long gone. My question is is it even possible, I don't suspect a thing, but everyone around me is thinking the aforementioned and not a single is saying otherwise. The seniors are saying that I'd end up ruining my career if I stick with her, I really don't know if it's possible - she's the sweetest most innocent girl I've ever seen. One thing that stuns me is that we've never in 8-9 months had an argument, never have we had a fight (minor things exist like I crack a joke and she's not in the mood, but that's very rare), and never have her opinions been different from mine! To be honest I'm a very difficult guy to be with, for eg since we almost spend the entire day together in uni, I'm not the guy to specially take her out on weekends, I'm not really the gifting type either (tho I'll add that I verbally praise her a lot), i crack a lot of offensive jokes, especially targetted at her parents (ya know, for what they did to her), I make her jealous often (all in good spirits, lol), and she somehow agreed with everything as well, like she had no problem with anything whatsoever. I'm actually so surprised at these points that make me question if what everyone is saying is true (like the too good to be true case). I didn't wanna bring this point in, but (and let me say i do not believe in astrology), 3 astrologers (first when I was around 10, the other when I was around 15, and the last very recently) told my family, that before I turn 21 a girl would come in my life, who would distance me from my mom and eventually, ruin my careelife. My mom has disliked my girlfriend since the 3rd month or so, earlier she tried hard to like her. My mom has had huge fights and given silent treatments to me for the last 5 months, and the epicenter of almost all fights (when I say fights I literally mean hours of yelling) and silent treatments (which I do not defend at all, and have been min 3 to max 10 days long) have been her. My mom, in addition to all the points she has against my gf, thinks that she might be a gold digger. I really don't know what to say, tbh it goes without saying that earlier I was very cheerful and had a very positive mindset as compared to the present, like in the last sem vs this sem. Please, is it even possible??!
submitted by ExpensiveComplex745 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
2024.05.19 05:54 brothersgfpost AITA for telling my mom it's bullshit how she favors my brother's gf over my gf?
My brother (21) has been dating Maya (20) for 3 years now. I'm pretty sure my mom likes Maya more than my brother. Maya is always included in family events, my mom talks to her all the time, Maya calls her "mom", they even go out to eat without my brother. Maya has little siblings that she helps take care of and my mom even spoils them so much that they call her auntie. Maya had a pregnancy scare and my mom was reassuring them that she'd help with childcare, they can move in with her, she'll take care of expenses, etc. not one thing about being more responsible.
I've (23) been dating Laura (24) for 3 years. My mom is civil with Laura but it's nothing like her relationship with Maya. For Christmas this year she got Maya a pandora bracelet and earrings and she gave Laura a $50 target gift card. She also treats them differently when it comes to family gatherings. It's a given that Maya will be there. Nobody has to ask. If I bring Laura without asking my mom, she's pissed.
My family celebrated mothers day because my mom is an ER doctor and had to work on Mother's Day. I asked if I could bring Laura and she said no, family only. I show up alone and Maya's already there drinking wine with my mom.
I was pissed but I didn't say anything about it until later when our family vacation was brought up. I found out that my mom invited Maya on our trip to Costa Rica with us and is even paying for her and my brother to get their own room. My mom even joked that if my brother fucks up before the vacation he'll have to find another place to stay because she's only paying for one room. My mom and I will be sharing a hotel room.
I asked about Laura and my mom said she could come if she wants but the most she's willing to do is split the cost of our own room. Laura would be expected to pay for all of her expenses on the trip.
I told my mom that it's bullshit how much she favors Maya over Laura. How she gives Maya gifts twice as expensive and way more meaningful than Laura's gifts right in front of Laura, how Maya is at the "family only" lunch that Laura was not allowed to attend, how when Maya might get pregnant she's all excited to be a grandma but I was told to make sure Laura doesn't get pregnant until we can afford to take care of a kid on our own and that she won't be able to help much, and how Maya is automatically invited and paid for on our vacation but the only way Laura can come is if she pays for herself.
My mom says she just gets along better with Maya and that she's not obligated to do anything for my girlfriend anyways. My brother took her side and I left early. AITA for saying it's bullshit how she clearly favors Maya?
submitted by brothersgfpost to AITAH [link] [comments]
I've (23) been dating Laura (24) for 3 years. My mom is civil with Laura but it's nothing like her relationship with Maya. For Christmas this year she got Maya a pandora bracelet and earrings and she gave Laura a $50 target gift card. She also treats them differently when it comes to family gatherings. It's a given that Maya will be there. Nobody has to ask. If I bring Laura without asking my mom, she's pissed.
My family celebrated mothers day because my mom is an ER doctor and had to work on Mother's Day. I asked if I could bring Laura and she said no, family only. I show up alone and Maya's already there drinking wine with my mom.
I was pissed but I didn't say anything about it until later when our family vacation was brought up. I found out that my mom invited Maya on our trip to Costa Rica with us and is even paying for her and my brother to get their own room. My mom even joked that if my brother fucks up before the vacation he'll have to find another place to stay because she's only paying for one room. My mom and I will be sharing a hotel room.
I asked about Laura and my mom said she could come if she wants but the most she's willing to do is split the cost of our own room. Laura would be expected to pay for all of her expenses on the trip.
I told my mom that it's bullshit how much she favors Maya over Laura. How she gives Maya gifts twice as expensive and way more meaningful than Laura's gifts right in front of Laura, how Maya is at the "family only" lunch that Laura was not allowed to attend, how when Maya might get pregnant she's all excited to be a grandma but I was told to make sure Laura doesn't get pregnant until we can afford to take care of a kid on our own and that she won't be able to help much, and how Maya is automatically invited and paid for on our vacation but the only way Laura can come is if she pays for herself.
My mom says she just gets along better with Maya and that she's not obligated to do anything for my girlfriend anyways. My brother took her side and I left early. AITA for saying it's bullshit how she clearly favors Maya?
2024.05.19 04:52 Celta4Doors Where to buy nice souvenirs
Hi everyone!! I’m living in Toronto for a few months and in June I’m going back to Brazil to visit my girlfriend and my parents. I want to buy some nice souvenirs to gift them but I have no clue where and what I could get for them.
Any suggestions? Thanks
submitted by Celta4Doors to askTO [link] [comments]
Any suggestions? Thanks
2024.05.19 04:50 nessalovesholly my MIL is making me feel so nostalgic for my Narc mother’s love
I don’t like being around my MIL anymore, especially after what my boyfriend told me. there was already fucking weird, tension beforehand. It was my gut telling me that something was wrong.
my boyfriend exposed his mom because she wanted to talk shit about me when I’ve done nothing wrong…… 😔 it really hurt me. because if she has a problem with ME, or has a QUESTION ABOUT ME, she should tell ME, to my FACE, NOT her fucking son. my boyfriend should have defended me. Instead, he didn’t.
All I do “wrong” is when we come over, I bring a bowl of food for everyone to have. for example, a bowl of watermelon, pineapple or a loaf of homemade banana bread. The fact that she and my FIL and BIL don’t eat it, is not my fault. She told my boyfriend that she doesn’t like it when I bring food for everyone to eat because nobody eats it. and that she’s tired of “throwing away my food” for me. I’m just trying to share with everyone! what the fuck.
something else that hurt me was that on mother’s day i gave her a gift, she was all happy about it… little did I know that she would be capable of wanting to talk bad about me!
so much for building a fucking relationship with her. I’m just glad I can’t have kids because i am NOT giving this woman any grandkids.
No wonder she refuses to build a relationship with me. It really hurts me because I miss my mom so much. And it’s so ironic because i’m the second woman in this family, she’s been the only woman in this family for many years, because it’s always been her, my boyfriend, her other son, and husband. I thought for the sake of being the second woman, she would be different. I wish she would invite me somewhere to go with her, but nope. If my mom knew how this lady is, she’d be so fucking furious. She’d probably advise me to break up with my bf ASAP and have me move back home.
When my birthday comes around, I don’t want anything from this woman. Nor do I want a hug or gifts from her, nothing.
I’d rather spend my birthday with my boyfriend at the cheesecake factory than with her. I hate this fucking tension. I hate it.
submitted by nessalovesholly to raisedbynarcissists [link] [comments]
my boyfriend exposed his mom because she wanted to talk shit about me when I’ve done nothing wrong…… 😔 it really hurt me. because if she has a problem with ME, or has a QUESTION ABOUT ME, she should tell ME, to my FACE, NOT her fucking son. my boyfriend should have defended me. Instead, he didn’t.
All I do “wrong” is when we come over, I bring a bowl of food for everyone to have. for example, a bowl of watermelon, pineapple or a loaf of homemade banana bread. The fact that she and my FIL and BIL don’t eat it, is not my fault. She told my boyfriend that she doesn’t like it when I bring food for everyone to eat because nobody eats it. and that she’s tired of “throwing away my food” for me. I’m just trying to share with everyone! what the fuck.
something else that hurt me was that on mother’s day i gave her a gift, she was all happy about it… little did I know that she would be capable of wanting to talk bad about me!
so much for building a fucking relationship with her. I’m just glad I can’t have kids because i am NOT giving this woman any grandkids.
No wonder she refuses to build a relationship with me. It really hurts me because I miss my mom so much. And it’s so ironic because i’m the second woman in this family, she’s been the only woman in this family for many years, because it’s always been her, my boyfriend, her other son, and husband. I thought for the sake of being the second woman, she would be different. I wish she would invite me somewhere to go with her, but nope. If my mom knew how this lady is, she’d be so fucking furious. She’d probably advise me to break up with my bf ASAP and have me move back home.
When my birthday comes around, I don’t want anything from this woman. Nor do I want a hug or gifts from her, nothing.
I’d rather spend my birthday with my boyfriend at the cheesecake factory than with her. I hate this fucking tension. I hate it.
2024.05.19 04:30 nessalovesholly my MIL is making me feel so nostalgic for my Narc mother’s love
I don’t like being around my MIL anymore, especially after what my boyfriend told me. there was already fucking weird, tension beforehand. It was my gut telling me that something was wrong.
my boyfriend exposed his mom because she wanted to talk shit about me when I’ve done nothing wrong…… 😔 it really hurt me. because if she has a problem with ME, or has a QUESTION ABOUT ME, she should tell ME, to my FACE, NOT her fucking son. my boyfriend should have defended me. Instead, he didn’t.
All I do “wrong” is when we come over, I bring a bowl of food for everyone to have. for example, a bowl of watermelon, pineapple or a loaf of homemade banana bread. The fact that she and my FIL and BIL don’t eat it, is not my fault. She told my boyfriend that she doesn’t like it when I bring food for everyone to eat because nobody eats it. and that she’s tired of “throwing away my food” for me. I’m just trying to share with everyone! what the fuck.
something else that hurt me was that on mother’s day i gave her a gift, she was all happy about it… little did I know that she would be capable of wanting to talk bad about me!
so much for building a fucking relationship with her. I’m just glad I can’t have kids because i am NOT giving this woman any grandkids.
No wonder she refuses to build a relationship with me. It really hurts me because I miss my mom so much. And it’s so ironic because i’m the second woman in this family, she’s been the only woman in this family for many years, because it’s always been her, my boyfriend, her other son, and husband. I thought for the sake of being the second woman, she would be different. I wish she would invite me somewhere to go with her, but nope. If my mom knew how this lady is, she’d be so fucking furious. She’d probably advise me to break up with my bf ASAP and have me move back home.
When my birthday comes around, I don’t want anything from this woman. Nor do I want a hug or gifts from her, nothing.
I’d rather spend my birthday with my boyfriend at the cheesecake factory than with her. I hate this fucking tension. I hate it.
submitted by nessalovesholly to motherinlawsfromhell [link] [comments]
my boyfriend exposed his mom because she wanted to talk shit about me when I’ve done nothing wrong…… 😔 it really hurt me. because if she has a problem with ME, or has a QUESTION ABOUT ME, she should tell ME, to my FACE, NOT her fucking son. my boyfriend should have defended me. Instead, he didn’t.
All I do “wrong” is when we come over, I bring a bowl of food for everyone to have. for example, a bowl of watermelon, pineapple or a loaf of homemade banana bread. The fact that she and my FIL and BIL don’t eat it, is not my fault. She told my boyfriend that she doesn’t like it when I bring food for everyone to eat because nobody eats it. and that she’s tired of “throwing away my food” for me. I’m just trying to share with everyone! what the fuck.
something else that hurt me was that on mother’s day i gave her a gift, she was all happy about it… little did I know that she would be capable of wanting to talk bad about me!
so much for building a fucking relationship with her. I’m just glad I can’t have kids because i am NOT giving this woman any grandkids.
No wonder she refuses to build a relationship with me. It really hurts me because I miss my mom so much. And it’s so ironic because i’m the second woman in this family, she’s been the only woman in this family for many years, because it’s always been her, my boyfriend, her other son, and husband. I thought for the sake of being the second woman, she would be different. I wish she would invite me somewhere to go with her, but nope. If my mom knew how this lady is, she’d be so fucking furious. She’d probably advise me to break up with my bf ASAP and have me move back home.
When my birthday comes around, I don’t want anything from this woman. Nor do I want a hug or gifts from her, nothing.
I’d rather spend my birthday with my boyfriend at the cheesecake factory than with her. I hate this fucking tension. I hate it.
2024.05.19 04:12 pizzapillowfort FMH Master Doc
The moment a lot of you have been waiting for is here!
A couple of notes before you read (or after because I would just jump into the list right away too)
Mentioned on Tiktok and on the pod once
Myspace Boyfriend
Mentioned on Tiktok
Third Boyfriend
Met on eCrush.com in 2002 and this was mentioned on the Cracked Up podcast, The Dave Glaser Podcast and Tiktok
The Kiwi
Met on a 2 week Model UN type youth trip in high school when Ali was 15, never a boyfriend but she had a huge crush on him, he tried to kiss Ali and she literally ran away, didn’t talk the rest of the trip but exchanged numbers and screen names (Ali’s was FineGal13 or BeachJewel760), she made him a mixtape cd called “Ali’s really cool mix for The Kiwi” but never sent it and she still has it. In 2021, he DM’d her when she posted photos of her and her mom in France and invites her to visit him in London, she says she can’t but says they should catch up if he comes to NYC
Fourth Boyfriend
Met on OkCupid when you had to use it on the computer, this was mentioned on Tiktok
The Homecoming Date or Light Switch
First boyfriend? (she goes back and forth calling him her first bf or a situationship), a family friend, a month younger than Ali, dated in high school but went to different high schools, football player, made him ask her to her Homecoming dance over email (her words), Ali hid in the bathroom the whole Homecoming dance, 3-4 revisits of this situations as adults, saw him on Bumble a few years ago and texted him that he had a typo in his bio, “he very much wanted to be with me” and now he’s married with a kid. His mom is still “obsessed” with Ali and she listens to FMH
Random college guy
Freshman year of college, Ali doesn’t have a nickname for him/doesn’t remember his real name, met this guy through a friend, was texting him to invite him over to hot tub but her phone autocorrected to “how about some hot rubbing tonight?” but Ali didn’t noticed/didn’t correct it and he never replied, Ali had a house party and got really drunk and was all over him, he left the party early, she messaged him on MySpace 3-4 times asking why he left
The Resident
Matched on Match.com, first guy she dated in NYC after college, older than Ali, a doctor, lasted 3 months ”maybe”, he didn’t like Ali’s friends, got a card from him on her birthday and it said “Love, The Resident” and it took Ali back a little, Ali drinks black coffee because of him, he coordinated having her mom visit NYC for her birthday then he broke up with her a week later
The Ghost
Met at a bar when she was 25, turns out they matched on OkCupid and they already had a date scheduled next week, they dated for 6-8 weeks, had sleepovers, “The worst ghosting experience I’ve ever had”, he borrowed The Great Gatsby from Ali’s roommate, planned to make dinner together after a beach trip in August with her friends and never showed up, Ali is blowing up his phone and gets no reply, two weeks later she finally texts “are you alive? check yes or no” and he responds “Yes”, Ali then ask if he could return the book and gets no reply again, 5 months go by and she receives the book in the mail with the note: “Here’s the book back. Sorry. P.S. sorry about last summer. I was in a bad place. You’re a great person and your salmon is amazing”, since then she has ran into him twice on the streets and matched with him on Bumble
The Coach/Mr. Adorable
First serious boyfriend at 26/27 in 2013, matched on Match.com or met through work depending if you’re listening to the pod or reading her OG blog, clean-cut look, played volleyball, Ali invited him to a friend’s birthday party and they made out in the streets at 4am, on their second date he asked Ali if she was seeing any one and when Ali said no he ask her to be his girlfriend 3 days after their first date, dated for almost 1.5 years or almost 2 years depending on if you’re listening to the pod or the Patreon, first time saying “I love you” to a guy, “lovely guy“, never would posted Ali on his instagram until Ali said something, he “lived” with her for two weeks while he was in between apartments, tried blind folding/hair pulling during sex and she didn’t like it, by the end of their relationship Ali didn’t like sex and thought she wasn’t a very sexual person, after they broke up Ali drunk texted him at 2am and he picked her up and she spent the night and she took her things in the morning in a rolly suitcase, from her blog in 2015: “I just want to be careful I don’t end up with another Mr. Adorable situation, where I find myself dating my platonic best friend”, had drinks with him in 2016 from the blog: “Not in a romantic way (at least on my end)”, Ali still talks to him sometimes through casual instagram DMs, he’s currently (as of 2021) dating someone for 4+ years and Ali thinks they’re going to get engaged
Trouble
OG 2015 FMH blog, never mentioned on the pod, “I was immediately enamored with him”, met at a Beer Olympic party but he worked with one of Ali’s best friends (Ali was still dating The Coach at the time), lived in BK, tattoos and stubble, Ali’s best friend said he was a “fuck boy”, “he very much made me see that it was the right thing for me and The Coach to not be together”, from her blog in 2015: “he has this look in his eye like he’s constantly laughing at me – in a super sexy way”, he texted her saying he didn’t see anything romantically with her and she sent a gif of someone shrugging
Personal side note: Ali has mentioned she has cheated on someone but never disclosed who she cheated on or with. I feel like she cheated on Mr.A/The Coach with Trouble because of the timeline. Just a guess.
Waffles
Matched on Bumble, OG 2015 FMH blog, he asked Ali fuck/marry/kill breakfast foods, dated 2 months around summer time, on Fourth of July while watching fireworks he said how they had a great day and Ali replied with something along the lines with “yeah, it would be better if I could call you my boyfriend”, he said he wanted a relationship but just not with Ali and shortly afterwards they stopped seeing each other
The Buffalo
Lived in Buffalo NY, 6’5, Scorpio, met in 2015 at Adults National volleyball (Ali’s team won that year) where he was heckling her while she was playing, asks Ali’s mom for her number and Ali’s mom said “I guess you’re tall enough” and told him to ask her himself, he flew her out and she met his parents, dated over summer, exclusive but never boyfriend/girlfriend (but called him her LD boyfriend on TikTok), texted and talked on the phone a lot, Ali’s best friend’s favorite ex “they had really good banter”, in October he invited her to his cousins wedding and she invited him to her friends wedding, after Ali bought her ticket to his cousins wedding (with the promise he would buy her ticket to her friend’s wedding) he ghosted and stonewalled her, she “poured her heart out to him on voicemail” and he never replied, she asked him to pay her back for her ticket and he got mad that she “made this about money”, 2 years later he told Ali that he freaked out because he really liked her and saw a future with her but knew she would never move to Buffalo and it would “never work”, Ali said at the time she would have considered moving for him, Ali used to have him blocked on Facebook and told all her friends not to update her on info about him (unless she asked). He’s now married and goes to Disney with his wife (which Ali kind of scoffs at?), Ali said on TikTok that she dodged a bullet
Baby Bic
Met him at Adults National years ago, had a flirtationship with him in 2016 when he was 19 years old, ran into him at the Adults Nationals 2021, last texts she got from him were about getting his fake ID taken away at the bar and him visiting her in NYC but Ali didn’t want to buy him beer and drink at her apartment
The Chef
Matched on Tinder around 2016, he loved karaoke, “total shit”, asked Ali to be his girlfriend and to meet his mom after a month, off and on dating, broke up the first time because he was talking to his ex, lied and flew to Mexico to see his ex while dating Ali, that ex sent Ali a Snapchat of them in bed together on that Mexico trip, Ali broke up with him via text and called him a shitty boyfriend, he’s the reason Ali deleted her Snapchat because of drunk Snaps he would send post break up, FB messaged Ali 6 years later (while Roark was visiting/staying with Ali) and said sorry for being a shit head. Ali’s best friends hated him
The Dentist
Met on Halloween in the wild, Canadian, dated NYE 2016- May 2017 “nice guy, not my guy”, one of Ali’s best friend’s favorite ex “he adored you, “he was too sweet for me” and “he had no edge to him”, he painted Ali’s cat for her 30th birthday but she was annoyed it was just Rory and not both cats, The Chef texted Ali while on a date/sleeping at his house
ASV - Aspiring Sober Vegan
Met through a friend (her best guy friend’s college roommate) the day before she had to fly out to her dad’s memorial, a doctor, into meditation, remembered him “being cuter” when they went on a first date, felt “the spark”, had “omg this is awesome sex”, Ali described this relationship as a “slow burn” and “the most attracted she ever been to a partner” even thought she didn’t think he was that cute in the beginning, dated 2-3 months before he tried to ghost Ali but they talked and broke up, four months later they start casually dating/FWB because he’s moving but this turns into a ‘middle distance relationship’ and he moves to Philly, had a lot of communication issues but didn't have a lot of fights, wants to live in Ohio and give a % of his income to charity, Ali was close to saying ‘I love you’ but didn’t, he uninvited her to meet his extended family and they got in a fight, broke up with her a couple weeks before their 6 month anniversary at the park while on a picnic and told her that she’s still his favorite person, Ali used to think he was “the one that got away” and would frequently have dreams about him. From what Ali knows, he's sober but not vegan
The Scientist
2017 or 2018ish, from San Diego, went on one date, Ali ended up ghosting him due to the decline in her dad’s health, saw him on Hinge while she was in San Diego for 3 months in 2020, texted him and apologized for ghosting him, ended up going on 2-3 more dates, took a selfie in front of his house and sent it to him but acted like she didn’t know that was his house and made a TikTok about it, things ended up not working but she doesn’t make it clear on who ended it. She can now see she shouldn’t have been going on dates during this time when her dad was sick.
Good on Paper Divorced Dude
Met a couple of years ago (she told this story on TikTok in 2020) on Bumble
The Groomsman
Met at her friend Ashley’s wedding in Chicago Oct 2019, had a “two night stand” with him, texted/talked/FT’d for 3-4 months, divorced, never dated seriously/FWB, saw each other a couple time when he came to NYC, Ali stopped talking with him due to FMH and her trying to find a serious relationship, he starts dating someone, follows FMH on insta, slid into her DM in 2022 and then sent her soup while she was sick, turns out he’s single again, 2 months later Ali is heading to Chicago and texts him “Hello! Reminder that my arrival to your neck of the woods is imminent” and turns out he is now seeing someone and Ali doesn’t see him while in Chicago (at least she doesn’t mention it)
Unnicknamed person
He was her plus one at her best friend from college’s NYE wedding 2019/2020, met and hung out with Ali’s mom, posted photos of them together on her personal Insta story, “fully dating but weren’t official hehe” doesn’t have a nickname/never gave him a nickname? This could be The Latvian/the person she texted her friend in DC about saying “I think I’m on a date with my husband”
He was browsing Bumble while Ali was in the bathroom during their first date, he was banned from Bumble and was using his grandma phone number. Ali turned down a second date
The Duke
Early FMH, went for long periods of time in between texts, 7-8 Zoom dates while Ali was in San Diego and he was in NY, Ali said you could see three of his ex’s on his instagram page (without scrolling), they finally went on one date and it was “meh” but they did kiss on their date
The Oyster
Matched on Bumble (he had one photo and no bio) two weeks before Valentines Day, Gemini, a lawyer, part of the 13 First Dates in 30 Days series (he was #13), dated Feb 2020-Aug 2020, love bomber, felt “the spark” and became official after 3 dates, best first date ever??? at the time, said “I love you” to Ali after two weeks, “For most of my relationship with The Oyster, he didn’t live in the city he had moved to Connecticut without telling me”, would fight all the time, opposite political views, Ali felt like a “fucking summer camp director” because she planned all their dates and he would get upset if Ali didn't have a plan, sought out a therapist (Megan) because of her relationship struggles because of him, went to Mass/church, he wanted a traditional marriage/life/wife/kids (at one point had Ali thinking she wanted that), didn’t want to live in NYC, didn’t support BLM, Cindy hated him
The Pilot
Went on 3 dates, texted a lot, didn’t hear back from him in four days and when she said she was looking to date someone who showed more consistency, he replied saying he met someone the day after their last date who seems to have more free time than Ali and he wants to pursue that but would like to be friends, Ali said on TikTok that this other women “bent her schedule to his schedule” and she was unwilling to do that. Mostly talked about him on TikTok
The Analyst
Matched on Bumble two years ago and went on one date, re matched in 2021 and he stood Ali up, she send him a text “getting stood up” script and he never replied. Only mentioned him on TikTok (?)
First date on the pod? I couldn't find anything else about him
The Scuba Diver
The Music Man
One date, “he didn’t do anything wrong, he’s just not for me”, amped up small talk, complimented Ali a lot which made her feel awkward cause she wasn’t feeling it, he texted her and asked for a second date and Ali sent the no ghosting script
The Bet
Uses the phrase “ok bet”, 28 years old shoe designer, only went on one dinner date to a spot he picked, turns out its cash only and he didn’t bring cash, was not into him , not looking for the same thing
The Dinosaur
Nickname was previously The Hawaiian, first date at Dinosaur BBQ, stood in a parking spot to save for Ali, he asked for a kiss after their date and Ali declined saying maybe next time
The Rose
He sent her a rose on hinge, first date was an hour long walk in the park while drinking beer
The Comic
Matched on Hinge, older than Ali (Ali’s friends express how happy they were to hear that), had brunch on their first date (was the first part of a double header but the second guy canceled), listed as “moderate” politically on Hinge, good and easy convo, went back and forth twice over text and then never heard back from him, “technically not ghosting...”
The Camper
Met in the wild at a volleyball tournament in July, lives in Chicago, 27 years old, hung out the whole time, over heard Ali asking someone to get her a make out partner, gave Ali his number, drunkly ask him for a FT date in the future and he didn’t reply, Ali texts him again about a volleyball thing and he replied back with not a lot of enthusiasm, Ali is going to Chicago in Sept for a volleyball tournament and she’s already planning on playing 4-on-4 with her best friend vs. his roommate and maybe The Camper, he texts her saying he has to work on the date of the tournament and won’t be able to do the 4-on-4 game, “I feel like I got broken up with someone I never want to date in the first place”
Went on a dinner date, was chatting up the waitress in a kind of creepy way, was bragging about a lot of things and it turned Ali off and Ali texted him her no ghosting script
The Accountant
1st matchmaker match, 31 years old, lives in BK, his dad has also passed away, easy to talk to, on the third date she wasn’t sure if she saw a future with him and in her gut doesn’t feel like this would be a slow burn, Ali breaks things off with him, months (?) later he sent Ali a 5 min long voice memo and they said they were both down to see each other as friends. He later on dated and ghosted Erica
The Aussie
Matched on Hinge, in politics, from Australia but lived all over the place, asked Ali what she’s looking for on the first date and he said he’s “casually looking for something serious”, Ali accidentally walks up to a different person on their second date, Ali texts him saying she would love to see him before he leaves on a trip and she wasn’t happy that it took him till the next day to reply and he can’t see her before he leaves
The Goalie
Was supposed to be Ali’s 2nd match, he’s a paying client, Ali didn’t hear back from him for a while when she told him where she lived, he wrote to the matchmaker saying that she lived too far away even though it states where she lives in her matchmaker profile
The Journalist
2nd matchmaker match, ended things because she was dating/pursuing things with The Discoball and paused her matchmakers matches
The Threepeat
Matched multiple times on dating apps but this recent time with Hinge, Amazon seller, first date was a pizza lunch date (with bubbles aka champagne) and he gave her a single yellow carnation, talked a lot about her “side hustles” aka her food blog, coaching, FMH and the pod (Ali didn’t mentioned the name on FMH), had an awkward half kiss during the date and then gave her a peck when they said goodbye, he had no night stands by his bed?, spent the night but told public pod they had a movie night, different kissing styles, 6 dates, broke things off with Ali two days before her first date with The Rower WHILE Ali was on a Halloween girls trip
The Rower
Dated from Halloween 2021 till early Feb 2022, Pisces who is 6 days older than Ali, has an ex-fiancé (they dated for 8 years, engaged for two of them, she broke off the engagement with him 1.5 years ago once he started dating Ali), has a shared dog with this ex, slept together around Xmas on the fourth date and Ali got a UTI, first time having “omg this is awesome sex” since ASV, first person Ali slept next to wearing an eye mask "that's a big step for me", had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, on New Years Day told her that he sees “long term relationship potential” with her but doesn’t want to be exclusive after 5 dates, “we didn’t talk all week”, he said he wasn’t as ready as he though to date someone seriously and “I don’t know why I don’t want to be in a relationship with you” they broke up over the phone, Ali said he’s a good human and wants to date someone like him, 3.5 weeks later Ali drunk texted him at 3:00 am saying “its really hard not to talk to you” which Ali said was a lie, he replied back (few days? A week later?) while Ali was on another date and it made her cry a bit, she replied back saying “the door is closed but not locked” in regards if he wants to get back together. “Fin… for now”
Matched on Hinge but didn’t go on a first date for two week, Gemini, used to be a singer in a band, moved from DC to NYC, went on 7 dates in 2022, had a dog w/ ex and ex got full custody once he moved, met one of his friends on the second date, slept with him on the second date “morning and night”, he tried to find the podcast without knowing the name, podcasted from his house in DC, he would send Ali photos of them together “all the time”, gave a virtual presentation from his hotel room, did Molly together in DC, had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, moved to BK (didn’t see each other for 2 months pre-move), had a sex-less sleepover (a milestone for Ali), he showed up for her on her dad’s death date (something that a person she’s dating has never done), used to listen to the pod but stopped before they stopped seeing each other, ghosted her after they had a talk about moving things forward to exclusive and Ali texted him something along the lines of “your silence is the answer” when she didn’t hear back from him for a week and he ghosted her. Ali said he sucks in #77 AUA
Lisbon
The Brit
M&M
The Come Back Kid
They went on 2-3 dates in Nov 2018 and reconnected in May 2022, "felt immediately comfortable", sat next to a very drunk lady on their second 1st date and was supportive but "didn't step on Ali's toes" when the drunk lady said something offensive to Ali, couldn’t remember if they slept together or not, knows about FMH, ghosted Ali
The Trainer
The Cold Brew
The Nomad
3rd matchmaker match, reminded Ali of The Oyster, wanted kids and didn’t want to live in NYC forever, Ali was upset at first because her matchmaker was supposed to screen for that but the matchmaker DID check and it wasn’t mentioned when she was screening The Nomad, no second date because those are dealbreakers to him
The Catcher
Matched on Bumble, “good not great” after their first date, ~April 2022, talked about sports a lot on their first date
The Gentleman
4th matchmaker match, knew about Ali’s FMH socials before their date, Ali didn’t like his texting style, awkward intro on their first date “like hugging a 2 x 4”, he runs a dating event company and actually email Ali to be a guest on the pod when FMH first started, awkward goodbye, didn’t discuss the actual first date on the main pod because she doesn’t want to give him a reason to reach out again
The Tennis Pro
Ali had a good time on their date, “He is an adult, he’s mature” BUT “I don’t think he was into it”
The Padre
Matched on Bumble, 3 dates, from San Diego, “energy mismatch”, doesn’t want to know or listen to FMH, no psychical connection/kiss, only a kiss on the cheek on their last date, “I haven’t spoken to him since Friday night [a week]”, she didn’t want to do what The Threepeat did to her (break up while on vacation/traveling), she said it might be a MOO
5th matchmaker match, found him on Bumble before their in-person date, ghosted Ali AND the matchmaker???
6th matchmaker match
Last match and Ali states she will not talk about this date or anything about it
JFK Kirk?
Matched on Bumble, didn’t realize he’s located in SD, exchanged personal instagram info, not sure where things went or how things ended
Kirk #1
Met in the wild, make out a lot the night they met, “stealing kisses throughout the night”, exchanged numbers, planned a date (no specifics, just the day) but when Ali texted him day of he asked to reschedule (no specifics again), he replied back that he’s picking up a rental car, told him she’s looking for someone to respect her time and he never replied back
First date of 2023, matched on The League, first nickname was “League Kirk”, hard to talk to, felt like Ali was always reaching for the next topic, likes to travel, “there wasn’t a vibe”, MOO
The Roommate
Used to be her friend’s roommate and have met before (Ali doesn’t remember but it was the day after that exclusive convo with The Rower), “totally cute”, reunited at their mutual friend’s engagement party January 2023, made out at the bar, comes back to her place and sleeps over (no sex), Ali questions why her friends never set them up and its because he was taking a break from dating, first date they made out a lot at the bar (again), “I really felt like we were already a couple”, “It didn’t feel like a first date”, mentions her FMH content has popped up on his FYP, tried texting him after their date and he wasn’t giving effort, she’s glad she didn’t sleep with him because “one night stands aren’t my thing”, MOO
The Belgian
Matched on Bumble, accidentally had their first date during a trivia night at a bar, easy to talk to
The Viking
Ali forgot they had a first date on the day of said date
Tinder Man
Matched on Tinder (duh) on Valentine’s Day, first Tinder date in three years, good convo on first date but got a pushy vibe from him at the second bar they went to, put his hand up her sweater and was kissing her in the bar, made Ali uncomfortable and she told him that after her asked her on a second date
The Historian
Matched on Bumble, good conversation on the first date with a wide range of topics like “urban planning and its impact on feminism”, he’s in grad school
The Georgian
Matched on Hinge, he asked if she was free on Friday and she said yes but didn’t hear back from him in two days and in that time she made plans for Friday, rescheduled for a Saturday afternoon date at a dive bar, ate on her way to her date “it would be next level rude to eat on the subway”, good first date, talked about places he wants to take her to
The Publicist
Matched on Tinder, lives in BK, Jewish, one year younger then Ali, good first date, invited him to the Chaotic Singles Party that night, came over to Ali's apartment (which Ali said was messy) before and he made her favorite cocktail for her, a couple of listeners met him at the CSP, goofy and silly convo mixed with deep and serious convos, second date was at the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens and a tasting menu dinner, he made a Resy reservation and Ali got an email saying she was added to it ”fuck receiving gifts, THAT’S my love language”, he's into words like Ali, he sneezed and Ali said "God bless you" but then corrected herself and said "gesundheit" and he leaned over and kissed her and said he loves that she cares about her words, he met her friends on the third date ”It felt so easy. It felt so comfortable”, her friends took “sneaky” picture and videos of them together which Ali said she loves a sneaky pic, took all their date recap videos on his phone, cooked Ali steak on their fourth date, "it's very comfortable", had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, Ali met two of his friends and some of his teammates he plays a rec sport with, had sex the day they took a trip outside of the city, Erica met him before their trip to Greece and I said “he’s dorky in a good way”, WhatsApp video chatted while in Greece and told her “see you in two days!” at the end of their call, said she felt less anxious about him compared to other relationships while on vacation, sent him a birthday present while she was in Greece, felt an energy shift coming back from vacation and didn’t hear back from him 3 days after she came home, Ali requested a call to talk about this distances she was feeling, ”I did the 12 date rule and it didn’t work!”, she said the distance help her see that they’re not compatible, went on a total of 9 dates. Ali talks about the “break up” on episode 123
Mr. Chaotic
Matched on Tinder but he saw Ali at the Chaotic Singles Party and Cassidy the host is there mutual friend, went to a brewery and played games on their first date (Ali said this was her favorite first dates in episode 147 where they recapped 2023), works in entertainment industry, very high energy, knows about FMH and he said she's entertaining to watch, splits his time between NYC and some unknown city, texted while she was in Greece, ”The man gives good texts”
Random Matchmaker Match
Withdrew his match to Ali because he found her FMH socials. Talked about on #71 AUA
Gone with the Wind
Matchmaker match, said some gross things about women in volleyball outfits on their first date, Ali told her matchmaker about this, ”I would describe him as misogynistic overall”, Ali was glad he did say those weird things so early on so she didn’t waste her time, the matchmaker flagged his account. This was around June 2023
The Rock
Ali knows him from an activity that they used to be involved with in the city (she's very vague about what this is) from 8 years ago, he had a very serious/long term GF when they met, follows her personal Insta, has never talked about him because he’s never been a “prospect”, summer 2023 they met up to catch up and found out that he’s now recently single but he’s moving out of NYC for work, Ali texts Cindy saying she thinks this is a date, Cindy said to tell him that you really want to kiss him, he ends up telling Ali “I really want to kiss you”, made out at the bar, Ali invited him back to her apartment and they had sex the night before Ali ended things with The Publicist, “one night stand vibes” but she said she was down to do it again, Patreon only and talked about on #75 AUA
The Tourist
Matched on Hinge, just moved to Brooklynn, went to a brewery in BK for their first date, Ali showed up to the date dripping in sweat, allergic to cats, he sent Ali a ‘no ghosting’ text the next morning
The Stout
Matched on Bumble, ”we had really great banter right away”, laughed the whole time on their first date, talked about going on a second date during their first date
Speed Racer
Matched on Bumble, drinks first date, axe throwing second date, made out after their second date, MOO, randomly texted Ali ~6 months later because he said one of Ali’s date recap videos about him popped up on his FYP (Ali and Erica think this is a lie), he thought Ali wasn’t into him, he claims he was doing all the work with texting even though there was only a few messages since they exchanged numbers after their second date
Billy Joel
Recently sober, Ali said she felt like they had several inside jokes before they met in person, ate pizza on her way to their first date, second date was getting coffee and going to the museum, they cooked dinner together for their third date at Ali’s apartment and they watched 90 Day Fiancé (he didn’t like it), he Googled how to clean a red wine stain when it spilled on her countertop, he asked if she wanted to have sex and she turned it down, the next day/the day before a 7am flight Ali booty called him and they had sex, she was drunk and said the sex wasn’t good/they stopped mid way, helped Ali pack for her flight, Ali said he’s at a crossroad and he doesn’t seem like a long term fit, Erica found a condom on the ground while cat sitting, Ali said she didn’t regret hooking up with him but wishes she hadn’t done it, MOO
Sales Cycle
30 seconds in and Ali said he was very boring, only really talked about his job, stared at Ali’s boobs, “might be a MOO”, texted her ‘merry christmas’
Matched on The League, 34 years old, requested a nickname change from Pie Guy to Dr. Laundry, he had to cancel their second date because he got hit by a car, went on two dates, Ali sent him a pic of his subway stop saying something along the lines of “the stop isn’t looking as cute today” and turns out someone he dated with in that photo, were supposed to go on a third date the night she got back from a bachelorette party but he didn't answer her text when she said she landed, the next day he asked her how her trip was not acknowledging her previous text at all, Ali expressed her disappointment and he replied that he was tired last night, she said she would've been understanding if he said something then ghosted her
Andddd I stopped listening to the podcast around the Dr. Pie Laundry Guy but have stayed up to date with everything via this sub.
I have a huge interest in dating culture, human behavior and data similar to Ali and this little project of mine was really interesting once I got the framework of this list. I started this list once I found this sub in December 2023 and started re listening to the Patreon while working out (and lost 10 lbs ayeee) and writing down information in my notes app. I did my best to keep this list unbiased and just give facts and information that was said.
My own thoughts after making this list is that I'm very sad for Ali. I didn't realize the extent of her dating history. I think about my own dating history or even my friends who are in their 30's and dating and Ali's dating lore runs so deep. Is Ali unlucky with love? Did she pass on someone that could have been great for her? How has she had so many dates with little success in a long term partner or even going beyond 6-8 dates? Or is Skyline the person she has been waiting for? What's the pattern with all this dates/men? So many questions.
I truly do hope Ali finds her guy because I believe theres someone for everyone. Until then, I'll be hopping into this sub (cause y'all are too funny and give the best advice) and waiting for Ali to find Mr. Height.
Enjoy and I look forward to everyone thoughts! I'll keep my eye out for any edits that need to be made.
Bonus quotes:
“Longest relationship was a little under a year and a half. Haven’t made it past 6 months with anyone else” - AUA #7 11/27/21
“I spent the first 10+ years of my dating life being sort of perennially single” -1. The Actual First One episode 2/21/21
"I think my parent's story is the reason why I think that I can romantically get back together with an ex and it'll work out" -The Dave Glaser Podcast 4/5/21
“Almost every relationship I’ve ever been in, with a couple of exceptions, started as a situationship.” -21. The Undefined One 7/11/21
“All of my boyfriends have been white” -Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“You definitely need an older guy” -Cindy on Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“I’ve been on the dating apps since high school. Dating websites at the time” -Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“Who would be the perfect man for Ali?”
“Clearly a combination of the The Dentist and [the early stages of] The Buffalo” -Cindy on Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“Do you consider The Rower or Disco ball to have been situationships?”
“No, I don't consider either The Rower or The Disco Ball to be situationships” -question asked on TikTok 11/9/22
submitted by pizzapillowfort to findingmrheight [link] [comments]
A couple of notes before you read (or after because I would just jump into the list right away too)
- Direct quotes from Ali herself are in italics.
- I tried my best to keep everything in timeline order. Some people like The Come Back Kid I placed in the order where they reconnected/talked about on the pod. But I did my best to note this.
- All this information came from the FMH podcast, the Patreon, the original FMH blog, TikTok and other podcast that feature FMH/Ali. I also crossed reference information with this sub. I got most of this done with the help of the Patreon and listening to 1.75x speed but I lost accessed to the Patreon because my subscription ended.
- I'm open to edits! Things around the matchmaker era confused me and if anything is incorrect or if I'm missing someone, please let me know! I will note where corrections are made.
- Some people don't have anything simply because only a name was said or I couldn't find any details about the person/date
- And of course, please be respectful of all the sub rules!
- Mr. Adorable aka The Coach
- Trouble
- Waffles
- Future Husband Brian (FHB)
- Cookie
- Peter Pan
- Ambiguous Goodbye Guy
- Bad Bitch Man
Mentioned on Tiktok and on the pod once
Myspace Boyfriend
Mentioned on Tiktok
Third Boyfriend
Met on eCrush.com in 2002 and this was mentioned on the Cracked Up podcast, The Dave Glaser Podcast and Tiktok
The Kiwi
Met on a 2 week Model UN type youth trip in high school when Ali was 15, never a boyfriend but she had a huge crush on him, he tried to kiss Ali and she literally ran away, didn’t talk the rest of the trip but exchanged numbers and screen names (Ali’s was FineGal13 or BeachJewel760), she made him a mixtape cd called “Ali’s really cool mix for The Kiwi” but never sent it and she still has it. In 2021, he DM’d her when she posted photos of her and her mom in France and invites her to visit him in London, she says she can’t but says they should catch up if he comes to NYC
Fourth Boyfriend
Met on OkCupid when you had to use it on the computer, this was mentioned on Tiktok
The Homecoming Date or Light Switch
First boyfriend? (she goes back and forth calling him her first bf or a situationship), a family friend, a month younger than Ali, dated in high school but went to different high schools, football player, made him ask her to her Homecoming dance over email (her words), Ali hid in the bathroom the whole Homecoming dance, 3-4 revisits of this situations as adults, saw him on Bumble a few years ago and texted him that he had a typo in his bio, “he very much wanted to be with me” and now he’s married with a kid. His mom is still “obsessed” with Ali and she listens to FMH
Random college guy
Freshman year of college, Ali doesn’t have a nickname for him/doesn’t remember his real name, met this guy through a friend, was texting him to invite him over to hot tub but her phone autocorrected to “how about some hot rubbing tonight?” but Ali didn’t noticed/didn’t correct it and he never replied, Ali had a house party and got really drunk and was all over him, he left the party early, she messaged him on MySpace 3-4 times asking why he left
The Resident
Matched on Match.com, first guy she dated in NYC after college, older than Ali, a doctor, lasted 3 months ”maybe”, he didn’t like Ali’s friends, got a card from him on her birthday and it said “Love, The Resident” and it took Ali back a little, Ali drinks black coffee because of him, he coordinated having her mom visit NYC for her birthday then he broke up with her a week later
The Ghost
Met at a bar when she was 25, turns out they matched on OkCupid and they already had a date scheduled next week, they dated for 6-8 weeks, had sleepovers, “The worst ghosting experience I’ve ever had”, he borrowed The Great Gatsby from Ali’s roommate, planned to make dinner together after a beach trip in August with her friends and never showed up, Ali is blowing up his phone and gets no reply, two weeks later she finally texts “are you alive? check yes or no” and he responds “Yes”, Ali then ask if he could return the book and gets no reply again, 5 months go by and she receives the book in the mail with the note: “Here’s the book back. Sorry. P.S. sorry about last summer. I was in a bad place. You’re a great person and your salmon is amazing”, since then she has ran into him twice on the streets and matched with him on Bumble
The Coach/Mr. Adorable
First serious boyfriend at 26/27 in 2013, matched on Match.com or met through work depending if you’re listening to the pod or reading her OG blog, clean-cut look, played volleyball, Ali invited him to a friend’s birthday party and they made out in the streets at 4am, on their second date he asked Ali if she was seeing any one and when Ali said no he ask her to be his girlfriend 3 days after their first date, dated for almost 1.5 years or almost 2 years depending on if you’re listening to the pod or the Patreon, first time saying “I love you” to a guy, “lovely guy“, never would posted Ali on his instagram until Ali said something, he “lived” with her for two weeks while he was in between apartments, tried blind folding/hair pulling during sex and she didn’t like it, by the end of their relationship Ali didn’t like sex and thought she wasn’t a very sexual person, after they broke up Ali drunk texted him at 2am and he picked her up and she spent the night and she took her things in the morning in a rolly suitcase, from her blog in 2015: “I just want to be careful I don’t end up with another Mr. Adorable situation, where I find myself dating my platonic best friend”, had drinks with him in 2016 from the blog: “Not in a romantic way (at least on my end)”, Ali still talks to him sometimes through casual instagram DMs, he’s currently (as of 2021) dating someone for 4+ years and Ali thinks they’re going to get engaged
Trouble
OG 2015 FMH blog, never mentioned on the pod, “I was immediately enamored with him”, met at a Beer Olympic party but he worked with one of Ali’s best friends (Ali was still dating The Coach at the time), lived in BK, tattoos and stubble, Ali’s best friend said he was a “fuck boy”, “he very much made me see that it was the right thing for me and The Coach to not be together”, from her blog in 2015: “he has this look in his eye like he’s constantly laughing at me – in a super sexy way”, he texted her saying he didn’t see anything romantically with her and she sent a gif of someone shrugging
Personal side note: Ali has mentioned she has cheated on someone but never disclosed who she cheated on or with. I feel like she cheated on Mr.A/The Coach with Trouble because of the timeline. Just a guess.
Waffles
Matched on Bumble, OG 2015 FMH blog, he asked Ali fuck/marry/kill breakfast foods, dated 2 months around summer time, on Fourth of July while watching fireworks he said how they had a great day and Ali replied with something along the lines with “yeah, it would be better if I could call you my boyfriend”, he said he wanted a relationship but just not with Ali and shortly afterwards they stopped seeing each other
The Buffalo
Lived in Buffalo NY, 6’5, Scorpio, met in 2015 at Adults National volleyball (Ali’s team won that year) where he was heckling her while she was playing, asks Ali’s mom for her number and Ali’s mom said “I guess you’re tall enough” and told him to ask her himself, he flew her out and she met his parents, dated over summer, exclusive but never boyfriend/girlfriend (but called him her LD boyfriend on TikTok), texted and talked on the phone a lot, Ali’s best friend’s favorite ex “they had really good banter”, in October he invited her to his cousins wedding and she invited him to her friends wedding, after Ali bought her ticket to his cousins wedding (with the promise he would buy her ticket to her friend’s wedding) he ghosted and stonewalled her, she “poured her heart out to him on voicemail” and he never replied, she asked him to pay her back for her ticket and he got mad that she “made this about money”, 2 years later he told Ali that he freaked out because he really liked her and saw a future with her but knew she would never move to Buffalo and it would “never work”, Ali said at the time she would have considered moving for him, Ali used to have him blocked on Facebook and told all her friends not to update her on info about him (unless she asked). He’s now married and goes to Disney with his wife (which Ali kind of scoffs at?), Ali said on TikTok that she dodged a bullet
Baby Bic
Met him at Adults National years ago, had a flirtationship with him in 2016 when he was 19 years old, ran into him at the Adults Nationals 2021, last texts she got from him were about getting his fake ID taken away at the bar and him visiting her in NYC but Ali didn’t want to buy him beer and drink at her apartment
The Chef
Matched on Tinder around 2016, he loved karaoke, “total shit”, asked Ali to be his girlfriend and to meet his mom after a month, off and on dating, broke up the first time because he was talking to his ex, lied and flew to Mexico to see his ex while dating Ali, that ex sent Ali a Snapchat of them in bed together on that Mexico trip, Ali broke up with him via text and called him a shitty boyfriend, he’s the reason Ali deleted her Snapchat because of drunk Snaps he would send post break up, FB messaged Ali 6 years later (while Roark was visiting/staying with Ali) and said sorry for being a shit head. Ali’s best friends hated him
The Dentist
Met on Halloween in the wild, Canadian, dated NYE 2016- May 2017 “nice guy, not my guy”, one of Ali’s best friend’s favorite ex “he adored you, “he was too sweet for me” and “he had no edge to him”, he painted Ali’s cat for her 30th birthday but she was annoyed it was just Rory and not both cats, The Chef texted Ali while on a date/sleeping at his house
ASV - Aspiring Sober Vegan
Met through a friend (her best guy friend’s college roommate) the day before she had to fly out to her dad’s memorial, a doctor, into meditation, remembered him “being cuter” when they went on a first date, felt “the spark”, had “omg this is awesome sex”, Ali described this relationship as a “slow burn” and “the most attracted she ever been to a partner” even thought she didn’t think he was that cute in the beginning, dated 2-3 months before he tried to ghost Ali but they talked and broke up, four months later they start casually dating/FWB because he’s moving but this turns into a ‘middle distance relationship’ and he moves to Philly, had a lot of communication issues but didn't have a lot of fights, wants to live in Ohio and give a % of his income to charity, Ali was close to saying ‘I love you’ but didn’t, he uninvited her to meet his extended family and they got in a fight, broke up with her a couple weeks before their 6 month anniversary at the park while on a picnic and told her that she’s still his favorite person, Ali used to think he was “the one that got away” and would frequently have dreams about him. From what Ali knows, he's sober but not vegan
The Scientist
2017 or 2018ish, from San Diego, went on one date, Ali ended up ghosting him due to the decline in her dad’s health, saw him on Hinge while she was in San Diego for 3 months in 2020, texted him and apologized for ghosting him, ended up going on 2-3 more dates, took a selfie in front of his house and sent it to him but acted like she didn’t know that was his house and made a TikTok about it, things ended up not working but she doesn’t make it clear on who ended it. She can now see she shouldn’t have been going on dates during this time when her dad was sick.
Good on Paper Divorced Dude
Met a couple of years ago (she told this story on TikTok in 2020) on Bumble
The Groomsman
Met at her friend Ashley’s wedding in Chicago Oct 2019, had a “two night stand” with him, texted/talked/FT’d for 3-4 months, divorced, never dated seriously/FWB, saw each other a couple time when he came to NYC, Ali stopped talking with him due to FMH and her trying to find a serious relationship, he starts dating someone, follows FMH on insta, slid into her DM in 2022 and then sent her soup while she was sick, turns out he’s single again, 2 months later Ali is heading to Chicago and texts him “Hello! Reminder that my arrival to your neck of the woods is imminent” and turns out he is now seeing someone and Ali doesn’t see him while in Chicago (at least she doesn’t mention it)
Unnicknamed person
He was her plus one at her best friend from college’s NYE wedding 2019/2020, met and hung out with Ali’s mom, posted photos of them together on her personal Insta story, “fully dating but weren’t official hehe” doesn’t have a nickname/never gave him a nickname? This could be The Latvian/the person she texted her friend in DC about saying “I think I’m on a date with my husband”
Starts FMH on January 2020 on Instagram/TikTok
The TravelerHe was browsing Bumble while Ali was in the bathroom during their first date, he was banned from Bumble and was using his grandma phone number. Ali turned down a second date
The Duke
Early FMH, went for long periods of time in between texts, 7-8 Zoom dates while Ali was in San Diego and he was in NY, Ali said you could see three of his ex’s on his instagram page (without scrolling), they finally went on one date and it was “meh” but they did kiss on their date
The Oyster
Matched on Bumble (he had one photo and no bio) two weeks before Valentines Day, Gemini, a lawyer, part of the 13 First Dates in 30 Days series (he was #13), dated Feb 2020-Aug 2020, love bomber, felt “the spark” and became official after 3 dates, best first date ever??? at the time, said “I love you” to Ali after two weeks, “For most of my relationship with The Oyster, he didn’t live in the city he had moved to Connecticut without telling me”, would fight all the time, opposite political views, Ali felt like a “fucking summer camp director” because she planned all their dates and he would get upset if Ali didn't have a plan, sought out a therapist (Megan) because of her relationship struggles because of him, went to Mass/church, he wanted a traditional marriage/life/wife/kids (at one point had Ali thinking she wanted that), didn’t want to live in NYC, didn’t support BLM, Cindy hated him
The Pilot
Went on 3 dates, texted a lot, didn’t hear back from him in four days and when she said she was looking to date someone who showed more consistency, he replied saying he met someone the day after their last date who seems to have more free time than Ali and he wants to pursue that but would like to be friends, Ali said on TikTok that this other women “bent her schedule to his schedule” and she was unwilling to do that. Mostly talked about him on TikTok
The Analyst
Matched on Bumble two years ago and went on one date, re matched in 2021 and he stood Ali up, she send him a text “getting stood up” script and he never replied. Only mentioned him on TikTok (?)
Ali and Roark start FMH: The Podcast February 2021
The BoomerangFirst date on the pod? I couldn't find anything else about him
The Scuba Diver
The Music Man
One date, “he didn’t do anything wrong, he’s just not for me”, amped up small talk, complimented Ali a lot which made her feel awkward cause she wasn’t feeling it, he texted her and asked for a second date and Ali sent the no ghosting script
The Bet
Uses the phrase “ok bet”, 28 years old shoe designer, only went on one dinner date to a spot he picked, turns out its cash only and he didn’t bring cash, was not into him , not looking for the same thing
The Dinosaur
Nickname was previously The Hawaiian, first date at Dinosaur BBQ, stood in a parking spot to save for Ali, he asked for a kiss after their date and Ali declined saying maybe next time
The Rose
He sent her a rose on hinge, first date was an hour long walk in the park while drinking beer
The Comic
Matched on Hinge, older than Ali (Ali’s friends express how happy they were to hear that), had brunch on their first date (was the first part of a double header but the second guy canceled), listed as “moderate” politically on Hinge, good and easy convo, went back and forth twice over text and then never heard back from him, “technically not ghosting...”
The Camper
Met in the wild at a volleyball tournament in July, lives in Chicago, 27 years old, hung out the whole time, over heard Ali asking someone to get her a make out partner, gave Ali his number, drunkly ask him for a FT date in the future and he didn’t reply, Ali texts him again about a volleyball thing and he replied back with not a lot of enthusiasm, Ali is going to Chicago in Sept for a volleyball tournament and she’s already planning on playing 4-on-4 with her best friend vs. his roommate and maybe The Camper, he texts her saying he has to work on the date of the tournament and won’t be able to do the 4-on-4 game, “I feel like I got broken up with someone I never want to date in the first place”
Ali’s Matchmaker contract starts in August 2021 - 6 matches
The SchmoozerWent on a dinner date, was chatting up the waitress in a kind of creepy way, was bragging about a lot of things and it turned Ali off and Ali texted him her no ghosting script
The Accountant
1st matchmaker match, 31 years old, lives in BK, his dad has also passed away, easy to talk to, on the third date she wasn’t sure if she saw a future with him and in her gut doesn’t feel like this would be a slow burn, Ali breaks things off with him, months (?) later he sent Ali a 5 min long voice memo and they said they were both down to see each other as friends. He later on dated and ghosted Erica
The Aussie
Matched on Hinge, in politics, from Australia but lived all over the place, asked Ali what she’s looking for on the first date and he said he’s “casually looking for something serious”, Ali accidentally walks up to a different person on their second date, Ali texts him saying she would love to see him before he leaves on a trip and she wasn’t happy that it took him till the next day to reply and he can’t see her before he leaves
The Goalie
Was supposed to be Ali’s 2nd match, he’s a paying client, Ali didn’t hear back from him for a while when she told him where she lived, he wrote to the matchmaker saying that she lived too far away even though it states where she lives in her matchmaker profile
The Journalist
2nd matchmaker match, ended things because she was dating/pursuing things with The Discoball and paused her matchmakers matches
The Threepeat
Matched multiple times on dating apps but this recent time with Hinge, Amazon seller, first date was a pizza lunch date (with bubbles aka champagne) and he gave her a single yellow carnation, talked a lot about her “side hustles” aka her food blog, coaching, FMH and the pod (Ali didn’t mentioned the name on FMH), had an awkward half kiss during the date and then gave her a peck when they said goodbye, he had no night stands by his bed?, spent the night but told public pod they had a movie night, different kissing styles, 6 dates, broke things off with Ali two days before her first date with The Rower WHILE Ali was on a Halloween girls trip
The Rower
Dated from Halloween 2021 till early Feb 2022, Pisces who is 6 days older than Ali, has an ex-fiancé (they dated for 8 years, engaged for two of them, she broke off the engagement with him 1.5 years ago once he started dating Ali), has a shared dog with this ex, slept together around Xmas on the fourth date and Ali got a UTI, first time having “omg this is awesome sex” since ASV, first person Ali slept next to wearing an eye mask "that's a big step for me", had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, on New Years Day told her that he sees “long term relationship potential” with her but doesn’t want to be exclusive after 5 dates, “we didn’t talk all week”, he said he wasn’t as ready as he though to date someone seriously and “I don’t know why I don’t want to be in a relationship with you” they broke up over the phone, Ali said he’s a good human and wants to date someone like him, 3.5 weeks later Ali drunk texted him at 3:00 am saying “its really hard not to talk to you” which Ali said was a lie, he replied back (few days? A week later?) while Ali was on another date and it made her cry a bit, she replied back saying “the door is closed but not locked” in regards if he wants to get back together. “Fin… for now”
2022
The DiscoballMatched on Hinge but didn’t go on a first date for two week, Gemini, used to be a singer in a band, moved from DC to NYC, went on 7 dates in 2022, had a dog w/ ex and ex got full custody once he moved, met one of his friends on the second date, slept with him on the second date “morning and night”, he tried to find the podcast without knowing the name, podcasted from his house in DC, he would send Ali photos of them together “all the time”, gave a virtual presentation from his hotel room, did Molly together in DC, had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, moved to BK (didn’t see each other for 2 months pre-move), had a sex-less sleepover (a milestone for Ali), he showed up for her on her dad’s death date (something that a person she’s dating has never done), used to listen to the pod but stopped before they stopped seeing each other, ghosted her after they had a talk about moving things forward to exclusive and Ali texted him something along the lines of “your silence is the answer” when she didn’t hear back from him for a week and he ghosted her. Ali said he sucks in #77 AUA
Lisbon
The Brit
M&M
The Come Back Kid
They went on 2-3 dates in Nov 2018 and reconnected in May 2022, "felt immediately comfortable", sat next to a very drunk lady on their second 1st date and was supportive but "didn't step on Ali's toes" when the drunk lady said something offensive to Ali, couldn’t remember if they slept together or not, knows about FMH, ghosted Ali
The Trainer
The Cold Brew
The Nomad
3rd matchmaker match, reminded Ali of The Oyster, wanted kids and didn’t want to live in NYC forever, Ali was upset at first because her matchmaker was supposed to screen for that but the matchmaker DID check and it wasn’t mentioned when she was screening The Nomad, no second date because those are dealbreakers to him
The Catcher
Matched on Bumble, “good not great” after their first date, ~April 2022, talked about sports a lot on their first date
The Gentleman
4th matchmaker match, knew about Ali’s FMH socials before their date, Ali didn’t like his texting style, awkward intro on their first date “like hugging a 2 x 4”, he runs a dating event company and actually email Ali to be a guest on the pod when FMH first started, awkward goodbye, didn’t discuss the actual first date on the main pod because she doesn’t want to give him a reason to reach out again
The Tennis Pro
Ali had a good time on their date, “He is an adult, he’s mature” BUT “I don’t think he was into it”
The Padre
Matched on Bumble, 3 dates, from San Diego, “energy mismatch”, doesn’t want to know or listen to FMH, no psychical connection/kiss, only a kiss on the cheek on their last date, “I haven’t spoken to him since Friday night [a week]”, she didn’t want to do what The Threepeat did to her (break up while on vacation/traveling), she said it might be a MOO
Roark leaves and Erica joins the pod Oct 31st 2022
Captain Kirk5th matchmaker match, found him on Bumble before their in-person date, ghosted Ali AND the matchmaker???
6th matchmaker match
Last match and Ali states she will not talk about this date or anything about it
JFK Kirk?
Matched on Bumble, didn’t realize he’s located in SD, exchanged personal instagram info, not sure where things went or how things ended
Kirk #1
Met in the wild, make out a lot the night they met, “stealing kisses throughout the night”, exchanged numbers, planned a date (no specifics, just the day) but when Ali texted him day of he asked to reschedule (no specifics again), he replied back that he’s picking up a rental car, told him she’s looking for someone to respect her time and he never replied back
2023
The FalconFirst date of 2023, matched on The League, first nickname was “League Kirk”, hard to talk to, felt like Ali was always reaching for the next topic, likes to travel, “there wasn’t a vibe”, MOO
The Roommate
Used to be her friend’s roommate and have met before (Ali doesn’t remember but it was the day after that exclusive convo with The Rower), “totally cute”, reunited at their mutual friend’s engagement party January 2023, made out at the bar, comes back to her place and sleeps over (no sex), Ali questions why her friends never set them up and its because he was taking a break from dating, first date they made out a lot at the bar (again), “I really felt like we were already a couple”, “It didn’t feel like a first date”, mentions her FMH content has popped up on his FYP, tried texting him after their date and he wasn’t giving effort, she’s glad she didn’t sleep with him because “one night stands aren’t my thing”, MOO
The Belgian
Matched on Bumble, accidentally had their first date during a trivia night at a bar, easy to talk to
The Viking
Ali forgot they had a first date on the day of said date
Tinder Man
Matched on Tinder (duh) on Valentine’s Day, first Tinder date in three years, good convo on first date but got a pushy vibe from him at the second bar they went to, put his hand up her sweater and was kissing her in the bar, made Ali uncomfortable and she told him that after her asked her on a second date
The Historian
Matched on Bumble, good conversation on the first date with a wide range of topics like “urban planning and its impact on feminism”, he’s in grad school
The Georgian
Matched on Hinge, he asked if she was free on Friday and she said yes but didn’t hear back from him in two days and in that time she made plans for Friday, rescheduled for a Saturday afternoon date at a dive bar, ate on her way to her date “it would be next level rude to eat on the subway”, good first date, talked about places he wants to take her to
The Publicist
Matched on Tinder, lives in BK, Jewish, one year younger then Ali, good first date, invited him to the Chaotic Singles Party that night, came over to Ali's apartment (which Ali said was messy) before and he made her favorite cocktail for her, a couple of listeners met him at the CSP, goofy and silly convo mixed with deep and serious convos, second date was at the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens and a tasting menu dinner, he made a Resy reservation and Ali got an email saying she was added to it ”fuck receiving gifts, THAT’S my love language”, he's into words like Ali, he sneezed and Ali said "God bless you" but then corrected herself and said "gesundheit" and he leaned over and kissed her and said he loves that she cares about her words, he met her friends on the third date ”It felt so easy. It felt so comfortable”, her friends took “sneaky” picture and videos of them together which Ali said she loves a sneaky pic, took all their date recap videos on his phone, cooked Ali steak on their fourth date, "it's very comfortable", had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, Ali met two of his friends and some of his teammates he plays a rec sport with, had sex the day they took a trip outside of the city, Erica met him before their trip to Greece and I said “he’s dorky in a good way”, WhatsApp video chatted while in Greece and told her “see you in two days!” at the end of their call, said she felt less anxious about him compared to other relationships while on vacation, sent him a birthday present while she was in Greece, felt an energy shift coming back from vacation and didn’t hear back from him 3 days after she came home, Ali requested a call to talk about this distances she was feeling, ”I did the 12 date rule and it didn’t work!”, she said the distance help her see that they’re not compatible, went on a total of 9 dates. Ali talks about the “break up” on episode 123
Mr. Chaotic
Matched on Tinder but he saw Ali at the Chaotic Singles Party and Cassidy the host is there mutual friend, went to a brewery and played games on their first date (Ali said this was her favorite first dates in episode 147 where they recapped 2023), works in entertainment industry, very high energy, knows about FMH and he said she's entertaining to watch, splits his time between NYC and some unknown city, texted while she was in Greece, ”The man gives good texts”
Random Matchmaker Match
Withdrew his match to Ali because he found her FMH socials. Talked about on #71 AUA
Gone with the Wind
Matchmaker match, said some gross things about women in volleyball outfits on their first date, Ali told her matchmaker about this, ”I would describe him as misogynistic overall”, Ali was glad he did say those weird things so early on so she didn’t waste her time, the matchmaker flagged his account. This was around June 2023
The Rock
Ali knows him from an activity that they used to be involved with in the city (she's very vague about what this is) from 8 years ago, he had a very serious/long term GF when they met, follows her personal Insta, has never talked about him because he’s never been a “prospect”, summer 2023 they met up to catch up and found out that he’s now recently single but he’s moving out of NYC for work, Ali texts Cindy saying she thinks this is a date, Cindy said to tell him that you really want to kiss him, he ends up telling Ali “I really want to kiss you”, made out at the bar, Ali invited him back to her apartment and they had sex the night before Ali ended things with The Publicist, “one night stand vibes” but she said she was down to do it again, Patreon only and talked about on #75 AUA
The Tourist
Matched on Hinge, just moved to Brooklynn, went to a brewery in BK for their first date, Ali showed up to the date dripping in sweat, allergic to cats, he sent Ali a ‘no ghosting’ text the next morning
The Stout
Matched on Bumble, ”we had really great banter right away”, laughed the whole time on their first date, talked about going on a second date during their first date
Speed Racer
Matched on Bumble, drinks first date, axe throwing second date, made out after their second date, MOO, randomly texted Ali ~6 months later because he said one of Ali’s date recap videos about him popped up on his FYP (Ali and Erica think this is a lie), he thought Ali wasn’t into him, he claims he was doing all the work with texting even though there was only a few messages since they exchanged numbers after their second date
Billy Joel
Recently sober, Ali said she felt like they had several inside jokes before they met in person, ate pizza on her way to their first date, second date was getting coffee and going to the museum, they cooked dinner together for their third date at Ali’s apartment and they watched 90 Day Fiancé (he didn’t like it), he Googled how to clean a red wine stain when it spilled on her countertop, he asked if she wanted to have sex and she turned it down, the next day/the day before a 7am flight Ali booty called him and they had sex, she was drunk and said the sex wasn’t good/they stopped mid way, helped Ali pack for her flight, Ali said he’s at a crossroad and he doesn’t seem like a long term fit, Erica found a condom on the ground while cat sitting, Ali said she didn’t regret hooking up with him but wishes she hadn’t done it, MOO
Sales Cycle
30 seconds in and Ali said he was very boring, only really talked about his job, stared at Ali’s boobs, “might be a MOO”, texted her ‘merry christmas’
2024
Pie Guy/Dr. LaundryMatched on The League, 34 years old, requested a nickname change from Pie Guy to Dr. Laundry, he had to cancel their second date because he got hit by a car, went on two dates, Ali sent him a pic of his subway stop saying something along the lines of “the stop isn’t looking as cute today” and turns out someone he dated with in that photo, were supposed to go on a third date the night she got back from a bachelorette party but he didn't answer her text when she said she landed, the next day he asked her how her trip was not acknowledging her previous text at all, Ali expressed her disappointment and he replied that he was tired last night, she said she would've been understanding if he said something then ghosted her
Andddd I stopped listening to the podcast around the Dr. Pie Laundry Guy but have stayed up to date with everything via this sub.
I have a huge interest in dating culture, human behavior and data similar to Ali and this little project of mine was really interesting once I got the framework of this list. I started this list once I found this sub in December 2023 and started re listening to the Patreon while working out (and lost 10 lbs ayeee) and writing down information in my notes app. I did my best to keep this list unbiased and just give facts and information that was said.
My own thoughts after making this list is that I'm very sad for Ali. I didn't realize the extent of her dating history. I think about my own dating history or even my friends who are in their 30's and dating and Ali's dating lore runs so deep. Is Ali unlucky with love? Did she pass on someone that could have been great for her? How has she had so many dates with little success in a long term partner or even going beyond 6-8 dates? Or is Skyline the person she has been waiting for? What's the pattern with all this dates/men? So many questions.
I truly do hope Ali finds her guy because I believe theres someone for everyone. Until then, I'll be hopping into this sub (cause y'all are too funny and give the best advice) and waiting for Ali to find Mr. Height.
Enjoy and I look forward to everyone thoughts! I'll keep my eye out for any edits that need to be made.
Bonus quotes:
“Longest relationship was a little under a year and a half. Haven’t made it past 6 months with anyone else” - AUA #7 11/27/21
“I spent the first 10+ years of my dating life being sort of perennially single” -1. The Actual First One episode 2/21/21
"I think my parent's story is the reason why I think that I can romantically get back together with an ex and it'll work out" -The Dave Glaser Podcast 4/5/21
“Almost every relationship I’ve ever been in, with a couple of exceptions, started as a situationship.” -21. The Undefined One 7/11/21
“All of my boyfriends have been white” -Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“You definitely need an older guy” -Cindy on Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“I’ve been on the dating apps since high school. Dating websites at the time” -Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“Who would be the perfect man for Ali?”
“Clearly a combination of the The Dentist and [the early stages of] The Buffalo” -Cindy on Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“Do you consider The Rower or Disco ball to have been situationships?”
“No, I don't consider either The Rower or The Disco Ball to be situationships” -question asked on TikTok 11/9/22
2024.05.19 03:31 Crazy_Bird_1 Is Billie Eilish the most overrated singer of all time?
MEGAN: There is no hope when Billie Elish is the voice of gen Z.
CHRIS: I like her songs. She is gifted.
MEGAN: Just Name three song that she has sung.
CHRIS: Bad guys, no times to die from James bond soundtrack, and there is this song that I watched on MTV her dancing with her girlfriends… it’s on the tip of my tongue I think it’s titled Happier than ever.
MEGAN: That’s a totally different song. The song that you are talking about is lost cause… from the album Happier than ever.
CHRIS: At least, I got the album right.
MEGAN: Okay. Give me the first two line of the lyrics from Bad guys or no times to die.
CHRIS: I am not good at lyrics. But she is talented. She has a soulful voice.
MEGAN: Her songs are depressing. I can’t listen to it while I am cooking or driving to work. I will shoot myself in the head. She is the most overrated singer in the history of music. You know, I want to play songs that make me want to sing along, dance and fall in love… not throw up. She is the voice of our generation. It tells you a lot about the direction we are going. Generation Z in America don’t know what the fuck is going on in this world. They complain too much. They are faking it like Billie Eilish.
CHRIS: I think they are lost. They just want a voice to express their pain, confusion, frustration, and sadness. That’s all.
MEGAN: I know that. But when you listen to music, you want to hear something that resonates with your soul and brings joy to your heart. For example, if you listen to Diana Rose and the Supremes’ Baby love, or come see about me and Where did our love go, you will realize that music is dead with Billie Elish whispering that she’s not happy and talking about how her boyfriend is a loser. You know, you wonder what’s happening to music nowadays. Why is so bad? Billie Eilish and Labrinth singing Never Felt So Alone. It’s a setback for Labrinth from Jealous to Never so Alone. He was our hope. We all counted on him to save music. But he has begun to whisper like Billie Eilish. Everybody is following her footstep. Music Critics are falsely saying that Billie Elish is a trailblazer. She is changing music single handedly. So far, she has received 7 Grammy awards. She is only 21. Diana Rose has never won a grammy in her life. There seems to be something fishy going on. You are not supposed to sing in your head. It’s not real music. It’s MTV. You know, they said that video killed a radio star. But video killed music all together. Thanks to MTV. We get asses, boobs, and whispers instead of real music.
CHRIS: I like MTV. I grew up watching it. It changed how we see music forever. You know, music is not music without a music video. Nobody is going to listen to it if you didn’t put out an amazing music video like Thriller by Michael Jackson. I can’t even imagine what Thriller would have sounded like on a radio. It’s the greatest music video ever made. Every time I watch it, it’s new to me.
MEGAN: I will give you the benefit of the doubt. Thriller deserve special praise. It’s one of its kind. However, music died after the introduction of MTV. At least, they don’t make it like how they used to make it in 60s’.
CHRIS: That’s the golden age of music. It can never be replicated again. But who knows? Billie Eilish might change it if she gets her act together.
MEGAN: I can listen to Vision of love, honey, and fantasy by Mariah Carey or I will always love you and I have nothing by Whitney Houston or Rolling in the deep by Adele a million times over and over. But I can’t listen to Happier than ever more than 1 time. Maybe Ocean eyes and When the party is over. They are okay. But the rest is garbage. She is nowhere near to legendry female singers like Aretha Franklin, Celine Dion, and Sinead O'Connor. You know, when you listen to Natural woman by Aretha Franklin or Celine Dion’s It's All Coming Back to Me Now or Because you loved me or nothing Compared to you by Sinead O'Connor, you get goosebumps. You are witnessing a soul exiting the human anatomy disguised in soundwave. It breezes through your skin, kiss your soul, and intertwine with your DNA before it rewrites the rhythm of your heart with a beautiful melody. You couldn’t help but cry, smile, sing, and fall in love with life whether it is wonderful or a bitch.
CHRIS: You have to give her credit the benefit of the doubt. At least, she writes her own lyrics. I mean, No disrespect to Diana Rose and Supremes, Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey, Adele, Aretha Franklin, Celine Dion, and Sinead O'Connor. God bless her soul - Sinead O'Connor. She was an Angel disguised in fire. Her voice is from another world. When I listen to nothing compare to you, I get goosebumps, too. I have always been blown away by her voice. Don’t even get me started with Whitney Houston. She is an angel. When you listen to “I will always love you,” you know that God loves music more than he loves us. She was flawless. It should be illegal to sing like that. And Maria Carey will shatter the glass in your soul, cut your heart to millions of pieces, kiss it, and heals it without a scar. Your heart can’t help but grow wings, burst out of your chest and fly away. She is phenomenal. Celine Dian is in a different league, so was Aretha Franklin. Nobody can question their gifts. But Billie Eilish has brought hope to a lot of people
MEGAN: I feel like that you are playing the devil advocate for the sake of argument. What hope are you talking about? You haven’t even listened to a song that she sang. You watched her playing with her girlfriend in underwear. All of a sudden, you want to defend her. If you are going to defend her. Defend her from your heart. I know you can’t do it because you hate her songs, too.
CHRIS: That’s not it. Just give her a break. She has a beautiful voice. She just doesn’t want to disappoint her fans. Imagine if she sings I will always love you or vision of love. Her fans will accuse her of selling out.
MEGAN: Fuck her fans. They are fake anyway. They don’t know anything about music. She should not let them hold her back. They just want to see her wearing oversize baggies like a boy, who drops out of high school and who breaks his skating boards, and whisper like a wounded cat that got a fight with a Rottweiler and talk about fake pain, bad relationship, and girls standing up to abusive boyfriends. Even country music has more sense of humor than her.
CHRIS: I like country music.
MEGAN: Don’t get me started with country music. I don’t even know why it’s still alive. It should have died with Western movies long time ago. You know, I would rather listen to Disco and 90s’ electronic dance music than country music.
CHRIS: What’s wrong with 90s’ electronic dance music? DJs still play them at club.
MEGAN: That’s true. But you don’t want to get caught playing that shit in your car. People will look at you weird.
CHRIS: I still listen to What’s love by Hardaway and couldn’t help dancing.
MEGAN: I hear you. Life is not fair. You have songs that makes you want to dance. Before you know it, it goes out of fashion. You have country music talking about how hard they work and their wife living them for their brothers and how they just want to drink whiskey and forget about them.
CHRIS: Country music is not bad. They know how to tell stories. It’s definitely better than electronic dance music when it comes to lyrics.
MEGAN: Okay. name three countries songs and artists.
CHRIS: Dolly Parton.
MEGAN: Dolly Parton doesn’t count. She wrote I will always love you. You would not have known her if she had it written that.
CHRIS: Fair enough. I get the point. What about Garth Brooks?
MEGAN: Okay 1.
CHRIS: Carrie Underwood and Morgan Wallen.
MEGAN: Okay, name three songs.
CHRIS: Friends in low places, by Garth Brook. Before He Cheats by Carrie Underwood. And Island in Stream by Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers.
MEGAN: That’s not bad. I didn’t know that you were a country music fan.
CHRIS: To be honest, I am not a fan of country music. I don’t listen to country. I only know very few songs here and there and Shania Twain. But it doesn’t mean that it’s not good just because it’s not your cup of tea. In fact, country music is becoming popular. They are bringing original materials.
MEGAN: How do you know that they are bringing original materials if you have never listened to country music.
CHRIS: I just assumed that they must have brought original materials. It’s because they are dominating the chart… like Morgan Wallen. His songs are no 1.
MEGAN: What song is that?
CHRIS: I don’t know. But most of his songs are in Billboard top 10. He is bigger than Justin Bieber.
MEGAN: I used to have crush on Justin Bieber. I still listen to his song… except Peaches. I don’t know what was he thinking when sings I get my weed from California. Who care if he got it from Jamaica? The lyrics is terrible. That’s why sometimes, I hate pop songs. They talk nonsense and get away with it.
CHRIS: What kind of music do you like?
MEGAN: I like all kinds of music… except country. Pop is on the top.
CHRIS: What about Billie Eilish? You don’t like her.
MEGAN: Sometimes, I like her. She does have a unique voice. Other times, I can’t stand her when she whispers and talk nonsense. She would have been an amazing jazz singer if she just opens her mouth and sings like a regular person.
CHRIS: You don’t want Billie Eilish to limit herself with only Jazz. Let her try everything: Pop, R&B, rock, blues, jazz, indie what have you. She has a hypnotic, alluring, and haunting voice and she knows how to control the tone of her voice. But if she must limit herself, she should choose classic rock. It soothes her like ice cream melting in her mouth.
MEGAN: What kind of music do you listen to?
CHRIS: I listen all kinds of music. You know, Sexual healing by Marvin Gaye, let’s get together by Al Green, against all the odds by Phil Collins, In your eyes by Peter Gabriel, Kiss from a rose by Seal, and Earn it by Weeknd to name a few.
MEGAN: You have a beautiful taste. Sensual, seductive and erotic and romantic. But what’s your favorite lines in music.
CHRIS: It’s either the way you look tonight by Frank Sinatra. Yes, you're lovely, with your smile so warm
And your cheeks so soft
There is nothing for me but to love you
And the way you look tonight.
Or My girl by Temptations.
I've got so much honey
The bees envy me
I've got a sweeter song
Than the birds in the trees
Well, I guess you'd say
What can make me feel this way
My girl, my girl, my girl
Talkin' 'bout my girl.
MEGAN: You are romantic.
CHRIS: What about you? What’s your favorite lines in music?
MEGAN: Halo by Beyonce.
Hit me like a ray of sun
Burning through my darkest night.
You’re the only one that I want.
Think I’m addicted to your light.
submitted by Crazy_Bird_1 to rock [link] [comments]
CHRIS: I like her songs. She is gifted.
MEGAN: Just Name three song that she has sung.
CHRIS: Bad guys, no times to die from James bond soundtrack, and there is this song that I watched on MTV her dancing with her girlfriends… it’s on the tip of my tongue I think it’s titled Happier than ever.
MEGAN: That’s a totally different song. The song that you are talking about is lost cause… from the album Happier than ever.
CHRIS: At least, I got the album right.
MEGAN: Okay. Give me the first two line of the lyrics from Bad guys or no times to die.
CHRIS: I am not good at lyrics. But she is talented. She has a soulful voice.
MEGAN: Her songs are depressing. I can’t listen to it while I am cooking or driving to work. I will shoot myself in the head. She is the most overrated singer in the history of music. You know, I want to play songs that make me want to sing along, dance and fall in love… not throw up. She is the voice of our generation. It tells you a lot about the direction we are going. Generation Z in America don’t know what the fuck is going on in this world. They complain too much. They are faking it like Billie Eilish.
CHRIS: I think they are lost. They just want a voice to express their pain, confusion, frustration, and sadness. That’s all.
MEGAN: I know that. But when you listen to music, you want to hear something that resonates with your soul and brings joy to your heart. For example, if you listen to Diana Rose and the Supremes’ Baby love, or come see about me and Where did our love go, you will realize that music is dead with Billie Elish whispering that she’s not happy and talking about how her boyfriend is a loser. You know, you wonder what’s happening to music nowadays. Why is so bad? Billie Eilish and Labrinth singing Never Felt So Alone. It’s a setback for Labrinth from Jealous to Never so Alone. He was our hope. We all counted on him to save music. But he has begun to whisper like Billie Eilish. Everybody is following her footstep. Music Critics are falsely saying that Billie Elish is a trailblazer. She is changing music single handedly. So far, she has received 7 Grammy awards. She is only 21. Diana Rose has never won a grammy in her life. There seems to be something fishy going on. You are not supposed to sing in your head. It’s not real music. It’s MTV. You know, they said that video killed a radio star. But video killed music all together. Thanks to MTV. We get asses, boobs, and whispers instead of real music.
CHRIS: I like MTV. I grew up watching it. It changed how we see music forever. You know, music is not music without a music video. Nobody is going to listen to it if you didn’t put out an amazing music video like Thriller by Michael Jackson. I can’t even imagine what Thriller would have sounded like on a radio. It’s the greatest music video ever made. Every time I watch it, it’s new to me.
MEGAN: I will give you the benefit of the doubt. Thriller deserve special praise. It’s one of its kind. However, music died after the introduction of MTV. At least, they don’t make it like how they used to make it in 60s’.
CHRIS: That’s the golden age of music. It can never be replicated again. But who knows? Billie Eilish might change it if she gets her act together.
MEGAN: I can listen to Vision of love, honey, and fantasy by Mariah Carey or I will always love you and I have nothing by Whitney Houston or Rolling in the deep by Adele a million times over and over. But I can’t listen to Happier than ever more than 1 time. Maybe Ocean eyes and When the party is over. They are okay. But the rest is garbage. She is nowhere near to legendry female singers like Aretha Franklin, Celine Dion, and Sinead O'Connor. You know, when you listen to Natural woman by Aretha Franklin or Celine Dion’s It's All Coming Back to Me Now or Because you loved me or nothing Compared to you by Sinead O'Connor, you get goosebumps. You are witnessing a soul exiting the human anatomy disguised in soundwave. It breezes through your skin, kiss your soul, and intertwine with your DNA before it rewrites the rhythm of your heart with a beautiful melody. You couldn’t help but cry, smile, sing, and fall in love with life whether it is wonderful or a bitch.
CHRIS: You have to give her credit the benefit of the doubt. At least, she writes her own lyrics. I mean, No disrespect to Diana Rose and Supremes, Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey, Adele, Aretha Franklin, Celine Dion, and Sinead O'Connor. God bless her soul - Sinead O'Connor. She was an Angel disguised in fire. Her voice is from another world. When I listen to nothing compare to you, I get goosebumps, too. I have always been blown away by her voice. Don’t even get me started with Whitney Houston. She is an angel. When you listen to “I will always love you,” you know that God loves music more than he loves us. She was flawless. It should be illegal to sing like that. And Maria Carey will shatter the glass in your soul, cut your heart to millions of pieces, kiss it, and heals it without a scar. Your heart can’t help but grow wings, burst out of your chest and fly away. She is phenomenal. Celine Dian is in a different league, so was Aretha Franklin. Nobody can question their gifts. But Billie Eilish has brought hope to a lot of people
MEGAN: I feel like that you are playing the devil advocate for the sake of argument. What hope are you talking about? You haven’t even listened to a song that she sang. You watched her playing with her girlfriend in underwear. All of a sudden, you want to defend her. If you are going to defend her. Defend her from your heart. I know you can’t do it because you hate her songs, too.
CHRIS: That’s not it. Just give her a break. She has a beautiful voice. She just doesn’t want to disappoint her fans. Imagine if she sings I will always love you or vision of love. Her fans will accuse her of selling out.
MEGAN: Fuck her fans. They are fake anyway. They don’t know anything about music. She should not let them hold her back. They just want to see her wearing oversize baggies like a boy, who drops out of high school and who breaks his skating boards, and whisper like a wounded cat that got a fight with a Rottweiler and talk about fake pain, bad relationship, and girls standing up to abusive boyfriends. Even country music has more sense of humor than her.
CHRIS: I like country music.
MEGAN: Don’t get me started with country music. I don’t even know why it’s still alive. It should have died with Western movies long time ago. You know, I would rather listen to Disco and 90s’ electronic dance music than country music.
CHRIS: What’s wrong with 90s’ electronic dance music? DJs still play them at club.
MEGAN: That’s true. But you don’t want to get caught playing that shit in your car. People will look at you weird.
CHRIS: I still listen to What’s love by Hardaway and couldn’t help dancing.
MEGAN: I hear you. Life is not fair. You have songs that makes you want to dance. Before you know it, it goes out of fashion. You have country music talking about how hard they work and their wife living them for their brothers and how they just want to drink whiskey and forget about them.
CHRIS: Country music is not bad. They know how to tell stories. It’s definitely better than electronic dance music when it comes to lyrics.
MEGAN: Okay. name three countries songs and artists.
CHRIS: Dolly Parton.
MEGAN: Dolly Parton doesn’t count. She wrote I will always love you. You would not have known her if she had it written that.
CHRIS: Fair enough. I get the point. What about Garth Brooks?
MEGAN: Okay 1.
CHRIS: Carrie Underwood and Morgan Wallen.
MEGAN: Okay, name three songs.
CHRIS: Friends in low places, by Garth Brook. Before He Cheats by Carrie Underwood. And Island in Stream by Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers.
MEGAN: That’s not bad. I didn’t know that you were a country music fan.
CHRIS: To be honest, I am not a fan of country music. I don’t listen to country. I only know very few songs here and there and Shania Twain. But it doesn’t mean that it’s not good just because it’s not your cup of tea. In fact, country music is becoming popular. They are bringing original materials.
MEGAN: How do you know that they are bringing original materials if you have never listened to country music.
CHRIS: I just assumed that they must have brought original materials. It’s because they are dominating the chart… like Morgan Wallen. His songs are no 1.
MEGAN: What song is that?
CHRIS: I don’t know. But most of his songs are in Billboard top 10. He is bigger than Justin Bieber.
MEGAN: I used to have crush on Justin Bieber. I still listen to his song… except Peaches. I don’t know what was he thinking when sings I get my weed from California. Who care if he got it from Jamaica? The lyrics is terrible. That’s why sometimes, I hate pop songs. They talk nonsense and get away with it.
CHRIS: What kind of music do you like?
MEGAN: I like all kinds of music… except country. Pop is on the top.
CHRIS: What about Billie Eilish? You don’t like her.
MEGAN: Sometimes, I like her. She does have a unique voice. Other times, I can’t stand her when she whispers and talk nonsense. She would have been an amazing jazz singer if she just opens her mouth and sings like a regular person.
CHRIS: You don’t want Billie Eilish to limit herself with only Jazz. Let her try everything: Pop, R&B, rock, blues, jazz, indie what have you. She has a hypnotic, alluring, and haunting voice and she knows how to control the tone of her voice. But if she must limit herself, she should choose classic rock. It soothes her like ice cream melting in her mouth.
MEGAN: What kind of music do you listen to?
CHRIS: I listen all kinds of music. You know, Sexual healing by Marvin Gaye, let’s get together by Al Green, against all the odds by Phil Collins, In your eyes by Peter Gabriel, Kiss from a rose by Seal, and Earn it by Weeknd to name a few.
MEGAN: You have a beautiful taste. Sensual, seductive and erotic and romantic. But what’s your favorite lines in music.
CHRIS: It’s either the way you look tonight by Frank Sinatra. Yes, you're lovely, with your smile so warm
And your cheeks so soft
There is nothing for me but to love you
And the way you look tonight.
Or My girl by Temptations.
I've got so much honey
The bees envy me
I've got a sweeter song
Than the birds in the trees
Well, I guess you'd say
What can make me feel this way
My girl, my girl, my girl
Talkin' 'bout my girl.
MEGAN: You are romantic.
CHRIS: What about you? What’s your favorite lines in music?
MEGAN: Halo by Beyonce.
Hit me like a ray of sun
Burning through my darkest night.
You’re the only one that I want.
Think I’m addicted to your light.
2024.05.19 03:18 Empty-Independent772 AITA for Thinking my Girlfriend is Asking for too Much?
Didn't think I would be on reddit but looking for i guess public random help? If I ATA then I will accept it.
I am having issues with my girlfriend and was hoping within the next 10 days to pop the question, and as shitty as it is, she is bringing up and point of view in our relationship I do not agree with in any capacity.
We have known eachother 9 years, Started dating almost 3 years ago. I had strong reservations about this relationship even beginning because I had gotten out of something bad a year prior and she had gotten out fo a 5 year relationship before getting with me.
This is a rare and only time where the girl was asking me out and I was saying no. I had started to learn about boundaries and mental health and it felt like at that moment I could not handle any form of a relationship. She forgets to tell anyone in this story how the longest she has been in single is 6 months and basically hopped from relationship to relationship.
I had told her she needs to spend a year or more figuring out what she wants in life for herself and who she is outside of a relationship because it sounded like a person with no path or direction.
I will admit I was weak and definitely like her, come to find out we liked eachother when we first met it was just bad timing. The only reason I asked her out is because all my friends said we looked and seemed perfect together and they hadn't seen me that happy in a long time.
So far we have had it good, and of coure some fights, but if I am being fair her last few relationships have been very abusive and non loving and the abuse goes all the way back to her family as well. So after my many failings I learned how to, not lash out or scream or make instant judgements or start a argument with texts, I have learned a lot from my own short comings and it feels she is where I was years ago. When we fight 80% of her arguments come from a topic that isn't even the issue and that fights feel like , I made her hurt or upset so she is gonna hurt me the same if not worse...
An issue I was warned about when I started dating, was after I inherited some money. I had been told by most of my family that dating financially below me could be tough because they might always see the comparison. And in a couple relationships it has been thrown in my face. Its not great, but it was given to me and I know that isn't fair. I would say I spend most of my money on my friends or significant other well being, not to buy them, but gift giving is a strong love language and I guess I always felt guilty I did nothing to have this money.
The recent conversation has been about her making more money versus me. I stopped working about 6 years ago to try and get into home investments and real estate stuff, I got tired of not being promoted when I showed up early, stayed late kind of crap then being asked to do 100 tasks not in my job description, but the actual on paper description of the person who got promoted over me and was not doing. I don't mind working hard or even for free, but if on paper I meet qualifications and the person promoted doesn't, then I have a problem.
This is her first consistent job that pays okay and has benefits. She job hops year after year and when looking for jobs they want some form of loyalty more than 1 year and she keeps wanting to go back to a bar job downtown that when she first had it was making bank, like 1800.00 every weekend only two days of work, but then when every bar opened up downtown post covid her weekend pay was now like 1200, then 1000, then 900. Not to mention tons of shootings and scary phone calls I would get at 3 AM. So we made a deal if for the next three months the paycheck wouldn't increase beyond 1000 she would quit and not go back... So I have supported her through multiple jobs and quittings and her trying to start her own baking business that she tanked because anytime I set a price for her baked goods, she would give a massive discount and not breakeven... I have even done 24hr straight baking sessions to get massive orders to clients in which killed our oven that I had to fix. I just wish she'd stay somehwere for a while and build a resume that works. I know our whole country is fucked financially and the average survival salary of our state is 100k,.. I already cover everything and pay for everything else...
I have been doing the real estate investing on mostly my own, and obviously it is not going well, trying to be ethical and moral and in the housing market seems like an oxymoron. I still have more money than she brings in and I am working on my real estate license, but I bought the house, take care of her, our dogs, mow the lawn, help out with her family of 9, fix our appliances, take care of her indoor plants, gave her a garden for outside that I also maintain, cook dinner or buy dates most of the time, pay for trips, her dogs surgeries etc, She is saying I need to make even more money so she can take it easy and stop working as much... But she has complained multiple times about wanting to help out around the house mroe and with payments... Idk how she can help if she is gonna take an inconsistent paycheck, and have no benefits of any kind and drive farther...
Am I slacking as her man and better half or is she not stepping up to the plate and doing her share?
submitted by Empty-Independent772 to AITAH [link] [comments]
I am having issues with my girlfriend and was hoping within the next 10 days to pop the question, and as shitty as it is, she is bringing up and point of view in our relationship I do not agree with in any capacity.
We have known eachother 9 years, Started dating almost 3 years ago. I had strong reservations about this relationship even beginning because I had gotten out of something bad a year prior and she had gotten out fo a 5 year relationship before getting with me.
This is a rare and only time where the girl was asking me out and I was saying no. I had started to learn about boundaries and mental health and it felt like at that moment I could not handle any form of a relationship. She forgets to tell anyone in this story how the longest she has been in single is 6 months and basically hopped from relationship to relationship.
I had told her she needs to spend a year or more figuring out what she wants in life for herself and who she is outside of a relationship because it sounded like a person with no path or direction.
I will admit I was weak and definitely like her, come to find out we liked eachother when we first met it was just bad timing. The only reason I asked her out is because all my friends said we looked and seemed perfect together and they hadn't seen me that happy in a long time.
So far we have had it good, and of coure some fights, but if I am being fair her last few relationships have been very abusive and non loving and the abuse goes all the way back to her family as well. So after my many failings I learned how to, not lash out or scream or make instant judgements or start a argument with texts, I have learned a lot from my own short comings and it feels she is where I was years ago. When we fight 80% of her arguments come from a topic that isn't even the issue and that fights feel like , I made her hurt or upset so she is gonna hurt me the same if not worse...
An issue I was warned about when I started dating, was after I inherited some money. I had been told by most of my family that dating financially below me could be tough because they might always see the comparison. And in a couple relationships it has been thrown in my face. Its not great, but it was given to me and I know that isn't fair. I would say I spend most of my money on my friends or significant other well being, not to buy them, but gift giving is a strong love language and I guess I always felt guilty I did nothing to have this money.
The recent conversation has been about her making more money versus me. I stopped working about 6 years ago to try and get into home investments and real estate stuff, I got tired of not being promoted when I showed up early, stayed late kind of crap then being asked to do 100 tasks not in my job description, but the actual on paper description of the person who got promoted over me and was not doing. I don't mind working hard or even for free, but if on paper I meet qualifications and the person promoted doesn't, then I have a problem.
This is her first consistent job that pays okay and has benefits. She job hops year after year and when looking for jobs they want some form of loyalty more than 1 year and she keeps wanting to go back to a bar job downtown that when she first had it was making bank, like 1800.00 every weekend only two days of work, but then when every bar opened up downtown post covid her weekend pay was now like 1200, then 1000, then 900. Not to mention tons of shootings and scary phone calls I would get at 3 AM. So we made a deal if for the next three months the paycheck wouldn't increase beyond 1000 she would quit and not go back... So I have supported her through multiple jobs and quittings and her trying to start her own baking business that she tanked because anytime I set a price for her baked goods, she would give a massive discount and not breakeven... I have even done 24hr straight baking sessions to get massive orders to clients in which killed our oven that I had to fix. I just wish she'd stay somehwere for a while and build a resume that works. I know our whole country is fucked financially and the average survival salary of our state is 100k,.. I already cover everything and pay for everything else...
I have been doing the real estate investing on mostly my own, and obviously it is not going well, trying to be ethical and moral and in the housing market seems like an oxymoron. I still have more money than she brings in and I am working on my real estate license, but I bought the house, take care of her, our dogs, mow the lawn, help out with her family of 9, fix our appliances, take care of her indoor plants, gave her a garden for outside that I also maintain, cook dinner or buy dates most of the time, pay for trips, her dogs surgeries etc, She is saying I need to make even more money so she can take it easy and stop working as much... But she has complained multiple times about wanting to help out around the house mroe and with payments... Idk how she can help if she is gonna take an inconsistent paycheck, and have no benefits of any kind and drive farther...
Am I slacking as her man and better half or is she not stepping up to the plate and doing her share?
2024.05.19 02:38 Cold_Safety_7740 Pregnant GF [21/F] won’t contribute and [21/M] having to take everything on. What should I do?
⭐️Pregnancy⭐️
I have my own place, go to school full time, in a coding boot camp, and taking certificates while also providing all the income for us. I was still actively working right after the military and then lost my tech job after 4 months job due to the whole company going under. The next day I found out she was pregnant. I believe she should have the choice since it’s her body /and she choose to keep the baby.
⭐️The problem⭐️
The 1st problem was she didn’t want to work or get license that I pushed her to do but can’t do it herself. I have been nice about it I’ve made docs, videos of motivation, applied for jobs for her, let her use my car, been with her to do it, but still doesn’t want to do anything so I gave up. A counselor would help but her mom doesn’t believe in that so brings in her mind there no point of getting better. She adores her mom but her mom is a does pills all day who hasn’t worked for over 20 years and even refused to work when they were all on the streets. I took her brother and my girlfriend to Disneyland and mind you spent over of all of the money I earned from the military from the gifts, vacations places, and food because she has never seen any of this before because they live off the goverment.
⭐️Uncle⭐️
her uncle turned homeless and started living with them.( he attempted to s/a her as a kid) but didn’t succeed. Her mom not doing anything and me knowing things she could do to get rid of him ( I even paid her 2,000 dollars) to get rid of him and nobody did anything my girlfriend said she was fine about it and she not much afraid of him and started resenting me because how I felt about her mom. I started doing online classes and staying with her and saving up for an apartment. A month goes by and the uncle TALKS ABOUT HER BOOBS INFRONT OF HER MOM. and yes he is still living there and yes we got the aprartment right after that. she still resented me because of how I felt about her mom and now I’m losing feelings for her because of that and not helping me mentally or with money.(Also I want to say it has never slipped my mind that I would not provide for this child that’s the whole point of doing the college). ⭐️My day⭐️
I feel alone most days and now i would rather watch YouTube or video by myself than with her.the one time we did take a break which was 2 days she cried all day, that’s not right for the baby so I went back to get her. I don’t think she would commit sucicde if we broke up but she says it as a joke but most of the time I can’t take it as a joke( my dad attempted and succeeded when I was 10).
submitted by Cold_Safety_7740 to amiwrong [link] [comments]
I have my own place, go to school full time, in a coding boot camp, and taking certificates while also providing all the income for us. I was still actively working right after the military and then lost my tech job after 4 months job due to the whole company going under. The next day I found out she was pregnant. I believe she should have the choice since it’s her body /and she choose to keep the baby.
⭐️The problem⭐️
The 1st problem was she didn’t want to work or get license that I pushed her to do but can’t do it herself. I have been nice about it I’ve made docs, videos of motivation, applied for jobs for her, let her use my car, been with her to do it, but still doesn’t want to do anything so I gave up. A counselor would help but her mom doesn’t believe in that so brings in her mind there no point of getting better. She adores her mom but her mom is a does pills all day who hasn’t worked for over 20 years and even refused to work when they were all on the streets. I took her brother and my girlfriend to Disneyland and mind you spent over of all of the money I earned from the military from the gifts, vacations places, and food because she has never seen any of this before because they live off the goverment.
⭐️Uncle⭐️
her uncle turned homeless and started living with them.( he attempted to s/a her as a kid) but didn’t succeed. Her mom not doing anything and me knowing things she could do to get rid of him ( I even paid her 2,000 dollars) to get rid of him and nobody did anything my girlfriend said she was fine about it and she not much afraid of him and started resenting me because how I felt about her mom. I started doing online classes and staying with her and saving up for an apartment. A month goes by and the uncle TALKS ABOUT HER BOOBS INFRONT OF HER MOM. and yes he is still living there and yes we got the aprartment right after that. she still resented me because of how I felt about her mom and now I’m losing feelings for her because of that and not helping me mentally or with money.(Also I want to say it has never slipped my mind that I would not provide for this child that’s the whole point of doing the college). ⭐️My day⭐️
I feel alone most days and now i would rather watch YouTube or video by myself than with her.the one time we did take a break which was 2 days she cried all day, that’s not right for the baby so I went back to get her. I don’t think she would commit sucicde if we broke up but she says it as a joke but most of the time I can’t take it as a joke( my dad attempted and succeeded when I was 10).
2024.05.19 02:37 Buggy40788 Going though divorce
I am not really sure where to start or why I am writing this. I just need to get everything out...
Long...
Me (31) and my STBXH (32) have been married for 11 years and together 15 years. We have 3 elementary school kids.
He had his first affair 3 months after I had our last child. This lasted 3 years before I found out. We tried to work it out but he kept lieing and hiding things. It took a year before he told me the "whole" truth. From a drinking problem while he was alone with the kids to bring his affair partner over to the house while I worked and the kids slept. It was very hard to trust him as he refused to do anything I asked to fix the trust. Yet I was made to be the bad guy and him the victim. I have a post about the whole affair in surviving infidelity.
At the beginning of the year I thought we were getting back on track he made me homemade chocolates and got me flowers for valentine's day. That next weekend his new affair partner's baby daddy showed up at our home to confront him and make sure I knew. My daughter (5) witnessed some this before I could pull her into another room. Thankfully the other man left soon after. I asked my STBXH to leave. He said let me pack a bag and that was it. He left and went to pick up his affair partner. They ran off that night taking $900 out of our joint bank account. I put a stop to that by transferring everything to my mother's account till I could make a new one.
A week after we had a written agreement that he signed about support and parenting time. He would send $3100 a month and see the kids everyother weekend supervised. Now I did find out that his new girlfriend had ran off with her kids before disappearing for a month, so in fear of this and that her ex is claiming abuse from her I asked for supervised visits. I do believe that STBXH drinking problem was getting worse. STBXH told me not to get a lawyer we could do this cheap and peacefully. Load of BS I know now. He went back on the agreement a week later. Got a lawyer and claimed he was forced to sign that agreement. This whole time I was filling the paperwork out alone and asking him for help with the divorce. Nothing. He then said he had been talking to a lawyer. So I went out and put down a $3500 retainer on one as well.
For march he sent $1500 in child support and April $900. No court orders.
I have to admit I was a mess. Complete blindsided. This woman he ran off with is my oldest son’s best friend's mom. Lots of soccer games together and lots of sleepovers with her son at my house. STBXH never wanted our son at their house because he said it wasn't safe. I didn't know them that well. He doesn't care about the effect this has had on our oldest son and his best friend. He didn't want to tell our son but I had to force him. They are in the same class and see each other every day. The other boy already knew and our son (9) did not need to hear about how dad ran off with best friend's mom from another 9 year old.
I also found out he hid a gun in the house without me knowing. I had asked him after his first affair to remove all of them after he admitted to depression and drinking problem.
Anyway, our agreement stated 3 day notice before visitation. He didn't do this several times. He can talk to the kids every night on the phone he got them. He only talks to oldest (9) average 2 minutes most night. This past month has been soccer season and he hasn't been to a single game or practice except the last one after I refused to let him take the kids until there are court orders. He hasn't seen them in a month. He is claiming parent alienation. He even missed his last visitation no call no show.
He has bought the police to my house twice now. Once when he picked up most of his things back in February. He was afraid of the other dad showing up and possibly getting beat up. His own fault. This last time he brought the police to the house to pick the kids up and I knew he was coming so we left for my parents before he got there. Told him he could come to the kids games the next day and then to the park. I am not comfortable with him taking physical custody of the kids and having no way to get them back. The police can do nothing and i know he is only trying to bully and intimidated me in to giving the kids up. Again he has no court orders so they can do nothing. I saw him on the ring camera telling them that I am lieing to my lawyer. I'm not I have sent my lawyer a lot of proof of all my claims.
My lawyer has filed and sent in Temporary Orders and we are just waiting on a court date. No time line. I just don't know what to do. I don't trust him. It has been one lie after another. Mind games and blindsiding and playing victim. I just want all this to be over. The stress and always looking over my shoulder. I have had enough of this.
submitted by Buggy40788 to Divorce [link] [comments]
Long...
Me (31) and my STBXH (32) have been married for 11 years and together 15 years. We have 3 elementary school kids.
He had his first affair 3 months after I had our last child. This lasted 3 years before I found out. We tried to work it out but he kept lieing and hiding things. It took a year before he told me the "whole" truth. From a drinking problem while he was alone with the kids to bring his affair partner over to the house while I worked and the kids slept. It was very hard to trust him as he refused to do anything I asked to fix the trust. Yet I was made to be the bad guy and him the victim. I have a post about the whole affair in surviving infidelity.
At the beginning of the year I thought we were getting back on track he made me homemade chocolates and got me flowers for valentine's day. That next weekend his new affair partner's baby daddy showed up at our home to confront him and make sure I knew. My daughter (5) witnessed some this before I could pull her into another room. Thankfully the other man left soon after. I asked my STBXH to leave. He said let me pack a bag and that was it. He left and went to pick up his affair partner. They ran off that night taking $900 out of our joint bank account. I put a stop to that by transferring everything to my mother's account till I could make a new one.
A week after we had a written agreement that he signed about support and parenting time. He would send $3100 a month and see the kids everyother weekend supervised. Now I did find out that his new girlfriend had ran off with her kids before disappearing for a month, so in fear of this and that her ex is claiming abuse from her I asked for supervised visits. I do believe that STBXH drinking problem was getting worse. STBXH told me not to get a lawyer we could do this cheap and peacefully. Load of BS I know now. He went back on the agreement a week later. Got a lawyer and claimed he was forced to sign that agreement. This whole time I was filling the paperwork out alone and asking him for help with the divorce. Nothing. He then said he had been talking to a lawyer. So I went out and put down a $3500 retainer on one as well.
For march he sent $1500 in child support and April $900. No court orders.
I have to admit I was a mess. Complete blindsided. This woman he ran off with is my oldest son’s best friend's mom. Lots of soccer games together and lots of sleepovers with her son at my house. STBXH never wanted our son at their house because he said it wasn't safe. I didn't know them that well. He doesn't care about the effect this has had on our oldest son and his best friend. He didn't want to tell our son but I had to force him. They are in the same class and see each other every day. The other boy already knew and our son (9) did not need to hear about how dad ran off with best friend's mom from another 9 year old.
I also found out he hid a gun in the house without me knowing. I had asked him after his first affair to remove all of them after he admitted to depression and drinking problem.
Anyway, our agreement stated 3 day notice before visitation. He didn't do this several times. He can talk to the kids every night on the phone he got them. He only talks to oldest (9) average 2 minutes most night. This past month has been soccer season and he hasn't been to a single game or practice except the last one after I refused to let him take the kids until there are court orders. He hasn't seen them in a month. He is claiming parent alienation. He even missed his last visitation no call no show.
He has bought the police to my house twice now. Once when he picked up most of his things back in February. He was afraid of the other dad showing up and possibly getting beat up. His own fault. This last time he brought the police to the house to pick the kids up and I knew he was coming so we left for my parents before he got there. Told him he could come to the kids games the next day and then to the park. I am not comfortable with him taking physical custody of the kids and having no way to get them back. The police can do nothing and i know he is only trying to bully and intimidated me in to giving the kids up. Again he has no court orders so they can do nothing. I saw him on the ring camera telling them that I am lieing to my lawyer. I'm not I have sent my lawyer a lot of proof of all my claims.
My lawyer has filed and sent in Temporary Orders and we are just waiting on a court date. No time line. I just don't know what to do. I don't trust him. It has been one lie after another. Mind games and blindsiding and playing victim. I just want all this to be over. The stress and always looking over my shoulder. I have had enough of this.
2024.05.19 01:18 itsaname42 PSA on Razer warranty loophole.
It's been a little while, so time to repost this:
On principle I would say just don't buy a Razer product, but if you are going to, make sure you buy it directly from them, they have a loophole in the warranty policy so they don't have to honor claims for most products purchased on Amazon. I got a Razer Naga X as a gift for my birthday, and after about a year it developed a bunch of scroll wheel bounce (going up when I scroll down and vice-versa) and then one of the thumb buttons stopped registering consistently, so I filed a support ticket, and they told me they wouldn't be honoring the manufacturer's warranty b/c it was sold by an 'unauthorized reseller'. The problem is that it was bought on Amazon (which IS listed as an authorized reseller - my girlfriend, who purchased it, had made sure to check that) but apparently there are TONS of '3rd party sellers' that make up the vast majority of the Amazon listings, even Prime listings (something I didn't even know until all of this) and apparently that gives them a loophole to not honor the warranty. I did a search on Amazon for the same mouse, and it wasn't till the 7th result that I found one that wasn't through one of these storefronts. Most of these storefronts are 'Amazon' sales anyways, it's a way for Amazon to outsource the work of creating listings and marketing without hiring people as actual employees - the 'seller' doesn't store or ship the product - all of that is Amazon - they are just getting a cut of the sale for creating the posting/bringing in business. And, by the way, none of this came up when I successfully registered the mouse on the Razer website upon receiving it.
The entire attempt at the warranty claim was a huge mess that took over six weeks, with a TON of back and forth where they promised to take care of me, only for that to be vetoed by the back office (at least three or four different times as the ticket got escalated) ... First, they told me that I had to contact the seller, that they had first obligation on a replacement, but I was told "I guarantee that we have your back on this" and to come back to Razer support if the seller declined to replace it or didn't respond. Well, the seller didn't respond, and when I contacted Razer again, they said 'Sorry, sucks to be you' (paraphrase, lol).
So... I did a bit of research to see if that was even legal and found an instance where someone raised a stink on Reddit and Razer ended up replacing their device... so I did the same thing; the official Razer account quickly reached out and reopened the ticket, support contacted me asking for a photo of the mouse to verify the serial number (and said they'd process the replacement if the number checked out - which it did)... two days later I got a response saying.. they'd get back to me in two days. Another two days later I got another email saying 'Sorry, that's out of the warranty period' (it's not, it was slightly over one year into a two year warranty) I responded with proof of this, their reply completely ignored the warranty timeframe issue and just went back to the 'unauthorized reseller' line. They also told me that there was no repair option, but if I subscribe to their newsletter I can get $10 of my next purchase and a whole bunch of other marketing spam, which was just salt in the wound if you ask me. I contacted the Reddit account again to tell them how useless and frustrating that had been and they responded that I should "keep replying so the ticket doesn't auto-close from inactivity"... pretty pointless if you ask me since they are dead set on not honoring the warranty. I did keep the ticket open for a while anyways, but they started to auto-respond with the same boilerplate response.
Every other warranty claim I have ever made has been based on the serial number and whether the defect was the result of misuse or happened through normal use. This has been the most absurd experience I've ever had with a company's customer support / warranty department; I certainly will never do business w/ Razer again, and I'd recommend the same to everyone else.
Apparently, they want my experience to be an example of their customer experience, since, in their own words: "as much as we would like to proceed in replacing your device, we're afraid that the Warranty Policy we have in place is too important, as it will remind all customers that Razer has exclusions and limitations on its warranty." So... I'm going to continue to share it with as many people as I can. The ironic thing is that they have probably spent more money on payroll dealing with me than they would have if just honored the warranty in the first place (and they would have continued to get positive word-of-mouth from me instead of these PSAs - I'm quite active in the endgame community of a major MMO, I host a lot of training runs and am constantly recommending that new player go get an MMO mouse for all the extra buttons - I used to sing praises about Razer mice before this, my first Razer mouse lasted almost eight years - but now I tell them to get anything but a Razer)
submitted by itsaname42 to razer [link] [comments]
On principle I would say just don't buy a Razer product, but if you are going to, make sure you buy it directly from them, they have a loophole in the warranty policy so they don't have to honor claims for most products purchased on Amazon. I got a Razer Naga X as a gift for my birthday, and after about a year it developed a bunch of scroll wheel bounce (going up when I scroll down and vice-versa) and then one of the thumb buttons stopped registering consistently, so I filed a support ticket, and they told me they wouldn't be honoring the manufacturer's warranty b/c it was sold by an 'unauthorized reseller'. The problem is that it was bought on Amazon (which IS listed as an authorized reseller - my girlfriend, who purchased it, had made sure to check that) but apparently there are TONS of '3rd party sellers' that make up the vast majority of the Amazon listings, even Prime listings (something I didn't even know until all of this) and apparently that gives them a loophole to not honor the warranty. I did a search on Amazon for the same mouse, and it wasn't till the 7th result that I found one that wasn't through one of these storefronts. Most of these storefronts are 'Amazon' sales anyways, it's a way for Amazon to outsource the work of creating listings and marketing without hiring people as actual employees - the 'seller' doesn't store or ship the product - all of that is Amazon - they are just getting a cut of the sale for creating the posting/bringing in business. And, by the way, none of this came up when I successfully registered the mouse on the Razer website upon receiving it.
The entire attempt at the warranty claim was a huge mess that took over six weeks, with a TON of back and forth where they promised to take care of me, only for that to be vetoed by the back office (at least three or four different times as the ticket got escalated) ... First, they told me that I had to contact the seller, that they had first obligation on a replacement, but I was told "I guarantee that we have your back on this" and to come back to Razer support if the seller declined to replace it or didn't respond. Well, the seller didn't respond, and when I contacted Razer again, they said 'Sorry, sucks to be you' (paraphrase, lol).
So... I did a bit of research to see if that was even legal and found an instance where someone raised a stink on Reddit and Razer ended up replacing their device... so I did the same thing; the official Razer account quickly reached out and reopened the ticket, support contacted me asking for a photo of the mouse to verify the serial number (and said they'd process the replacement if the number checked out - which it did)... two days later I got a response saying.. they'd get back to me in two days. Another two days later I got another email saying 'Sorry, that's out of the warranty period' (it's not, it was slightly over one year into a two year warranty) I responded with proof of this, their reply completely ignored the warranty timeframe issue and just went back to the 'unauthorized reseller' line. They also told me that there was no repair option, but if I subscribe to their newsletter I can get $10 of my next purchase and a whole bunch of other marketing spam, which was just salt in the wound if you ask me. I contacted the Reddit account again to tell them how useless and frustrating that had been and they responded that I should "keep replying so the ticket doesn't auto-close from inactivity"... pretty pointless if you ask me since they are dead set on not honoring the warranty. I did keep the ticket open for a while anyways, but they started to auto-respond with the same boilerplate response.
Every other warranty claim I have ever made has been based on the serial number and whether the defect was the result of misuse or happened through normal use. This has been the most absurd experience I've ever had with a company's customer support / warranty department; I certainly will never do business w/ Razer again, and I'd recommend the same to everyone else.
Apparently, they want my experience to be an example of their customer experience, since, in their own words: "as much as we would like to proceed in replacing your device, we're afraid that the Warranty Policy we have in place is too important, as it will remind all customers that Razer has exclusions and limitations on its warranty." So... I'm going to continue to share it with as many people as I can. The ironic thing is that they have probably spent more money on payroll dealing with me than they would have if just honored the warranty in the first place (and they would have continued to get positive word-of-mouth from me instead of these PSAs - I'm quite active in the endgame community of a major MMO, I host a lot of training runs and am constantly recommending that new player go get an MMO mouse for all the extra buttons - I used to sing praises about Razer mice before this, my first Razer mouse lasted almost eight years - but now I tell them to get anything but a Razer)
2024.05.19 00:42 LadyZevia The MIL who cried wolf…
It’s been a week so I feel like it’s alright to post, knowing I’ve calmed down a bit.
I’ll try to keep this short and concise. We’ve worked on some boundaries with our in laws, primarily my MIL. She is narcissistic and feeling quite out of control knowing her kids are all out on their own aka she is an empty nester and widow. I suspect she has an enmeshment issue with by husband, by alas that’s for a different post.
A very lovely Mother’s Day brunch was planned at a restaurant downtown. Now to give you an idea, MIL has lived here her entire life just like us. She is no stranger to downtown. In fact, she visits regularly for restaurants, shows and concerts along with theatre.
We’re not in a huge city…275,000 population.
Husband, myself, BIL and his girlfriend all arrive on time. We chat and set up the table a bit, as there were flowers and gifts for MIL.
About 20 minutes pass by and the brothers are trying to text MIL to ensure she’s okay. MIL walks in and gets to the table.
Immediately bursts out crying. And I mean not the “oh, wow this is so sweet” cry - I mean yowling. Folks are looking at us, waitress walks away sheepishly.
We all exchange looks as that threw us all right off. We ask what’s the matter and if everything is alright.
MIL responds without missing a beat, citing she dislikes downtown and couldn’t find parking. And that the only parking she found was $20. And she’s still wailing. Like loud enough that we officially look like we’re having a problem.
Note: This is weird as my husband actually has her salaried (she plays a small role in the company) so $20 is affordable to her. We know this for a fact.
Mentally, I’m rolling my eyes. She knows this restaurant is husband and I’s favourite and that we’ve been trying to bring her down to enjoy it with us for some time. We even thought the menu was perfect for her love of seafood etc.
A lot of thought went into this and I feel so disturbed that she had a meltdown. Some blame was pushed around and ultimately, it was set on me for arranging the get together downtown at that specific restaurant.
What a wild ride, give it to me straight. What could I have done better?
submitted by LadyZevia to JUSTNOMIL [link] [comments]
I’ll try to keep this short and concise. We’ve worked on some boundaries with our in laws, primarily my MIL. She is narcissistic and feeling quite out of control knowing her kids are all out on their own aka she is an empty nester and widow. I suspect she has an enmeshment issue with by husband, by alas that’s for a different post.
A very lovely Mother’s Day brunch was planned at a restaurant downtown. Now to give you an idea, MIL has lived here her entire life just like us. She is no stranger to downtown. In fact, she visits regularly for restaurants, shows and concerts along with theatre.
We’re not in a huge city…275,000 population.
Husband, myself, BIL and his girlfriend all arrive on time. We chat and set up the table a bit, as there were flowers and gifts for MIL.
About 20 minutes pass by and the brothers are trying to text MIL to ensure she’s okay. MIL walks in and gets to the table.
Immediately bursts out crying. And I mean not the “oh, wow this is so sweet” cry - I mean yowling. Folks are looking at us, waitress walks away sheepishly.
We all exchange looks as that threw us all right off. We ask what’s the matter and if everything is alright.
MIL responds without missing a beat, citing she dislikes downtown and couldn’t find parking. And that the only parking she found was $20. And she’s still wailing. Like loud enough that we officially look like we’re having a problem.
Note: This is weird as my husband actually has her salaried (she plays a small role in the company) so $20 is affordable to her. We know this for a fact.
Mentally, I’m rolling my eyes. She knows this restaurant is husband and I’s favourite and that we’ve been trying to bring her down to enjoy it with us for some time. We even thought the menu was perfect for her love of seafood etc.
A lot of thought went into this and I feel so disturbed that she had a meltdown. Some blame was pushed around and ultimately, it was set on me for arranging the get together downtown at that specific restaurant.
What a wild ride, give it to me straight. What could I have done better?
2024.05.19 00:18 TheHarryPot I love my husband
I just thought this thread could use some happiness and give hope to whoever needs it. I have an amazing relationship with the most loving husband in the world and I just wanted to share some things he/we do.
We tell each other everything and I mean EVERYTHING, I genuinely can’t think of a single thing I wouldn’t tell him. This does mean that both of us have to keep a very open mind and have some tough and embarrassing conversations sometimes. We don’t judge and genuinely listen to the other speak, no manipulation or agenda. We have touch points very regularly where we reflect on the relationship and talk about life overall and we also debrief after every hang out with family and friends to align our thoughts and opinions of people. We also naturally have access to each other’s electronics - it wasn’t a rule that was set but we just knew each other’s passcodes and then after our first anniversary, we used that to be the passcode for all our electronics. That said, I do tell him if I’ve gone through his phone, if there’s anything I wanna talk about, and vice versa. Generally, we keep a very open and accepting environment.
We generally have a pretty good home life, he cleans, I cook. I used to believe that when the cooking is left to the woman, there’s an imbalance. But honestly, it’s been working out pretty well because he loves to clean and does it 1-2 times a day whereas I cook when I feel like it which is 2-3 times a week. We never get angry at the other person for “not doing enough” because the roles are pretty clear and no one is forced to do anything. If he doesn’t wanna clean, we get a cleaner or I do it. If I don’t wanna cook, we order in or he cooks, it’s never a big deal. Most importantly, we ALWAYS thank each other after a task is done because no is forced or expected to do anything and anything done is worthy of a thank you.
We have so much fun, we don’t take life that seriously. I have the same amount of fun if not more with him than I do with my girlfriends, we joke all the time and chill and try things out together, we just enjoy each other’s company more than anyone else’s.
It’s mostly about the little things. Yes we go all out for birthdays and anniversaries and all but we never take each other for granted day to day. We both get each other small gifts throughout the month from flowers to small things we talked about. For example, he learnt how to make my coffee order and would make it for me all the time, it’s so simple but so thoughtful and that’s what it’s all about.
Those are the big things I think and I’m inviting everyone in a loving and healthy relationship to tell us what they do and share your stories too
submitted by TheHarryPot to relationshipgoals [link] [comments]
We tell each other everything and I mean EVERYTHING, I genuinely can’t think of a single thing I wouldn’t tell him. This does mean that both of us have to keep a very open mind and have some tough and embarrassing conversations sometimes. We don’t judge and genuinely listen to the other speak, no manipulation or agenda. We have touch points very regularly where we reflect on the relationship and talk about life overall and we also debrief after every hang out with family and friends to align our thoughts and opinions of people. We also naturally have access to each other’s electronics - it wasn’t a rule that was set but we just knew each other’s passcodes and then after our first anniversary, we used that to be the passcode for all our electronics. That said, I do tell him if I’ve gone through his phone, if there’s anything I wanna talk about, and vice versa. Generally, we keep a very open and accepting environment.
We generally have a pretty good home life, he cleans, I cook. I used to believe that when the cooking is left to the woman, there’s an imbalance. But honestly, it’s been working out pretty well because he loves to clean and does it 1-2 times a day whereas I cook when I feel like it which is 2-3 times a week. We never get angry at the other person for “not doing enough” because the roles are pretty clear and no one is forced to do anything. If he doesn’t wanna clean, we get a cleaner or I do it. If I don’t wanna cook, we order in or he cooks, it’s never a big deal. Most importantly, we ALWAYS thank each other after a task is done because no is forced or expected to do anything and anything done is worthy of a thank you.
We have so much fun, we don’t take life that seriously. I have the same amount of fun if not more with him than I do with my girlfriends, we joke all the time and chill and try things out together, we just enjoy each other’s company more than anyone else’s.
It’s mostly about the little things. Yes we go all out for birthdays and anniversaries and all but we never take each other for granted day to day. We both get each other small gifts throughout the month from flowers to small things we talked about. For example, he learnt how to make my coffee order and would make it for me all the time, it’s so simple but so thoughtful and that’s what it’s all about.
Those are the big things I think and I’m inviting everyone in a loving and healthy relationship to tell us what they do and share your stories too
2024.05.18 23:40 Brodee1977 AITA For Not Including Boyfriend in Mother’s Day Gift?
I special-ordered a gift for my step-mom on Mother’s Day.
It was a custom family display that showed eight people and their first names, all under the family’s last name (e.g. “The Smith Family”). It lights up too. It’s kind of adorable.
There was only room for a maximum of eight people on the display. I listed my father, my step-mom, my sister, me, my wife, and our three children.
When I told my step-mom when to expect delivery, she said she was, “So excited!” Two days after delivery, there was no response. I texted my dad to ask if it was received. “Well...it's very nice, but someone is missing.”
The missing person was my sister’s boyfriend. They’ve been together just over three years. Still just her boyfriend. My sister is my dad and stepmom’s daughter.
“Is that why we didn’t hear back from her (my step-mom)?” I asked.
“Absolutely. It's not something we can display,” my father responded.
I told my dad that while it’s nice they consider my sister’s boyfriend to be family, they’re not married and they could break up tomorrow. “Then it would absolutely never be displayable,” I said. Of course, I also reminded him that I could only feature a maximum of eight people.
Was I supposed to leave myself out of it? Perhaps cut out my youngest child? I listed the eight people who actually have the same last name; who are technically “family.”
My sister (13 years younger than me) has always taken priority no matter what. We couldn’t get together to celebrate the completion of my Master’s degree, because my sister might have wanted to have brunch for her birthday (she was undecided until it was too late).
My dad asked me how I would feel if they did something similar, but left my wife out of it prior to us getting married. However, my wife and I had three children before we were finally married, so I don’t think that’s even in the same vicinity as if she had just been my girlfriend.
Now, the gift, that was well-meaning and (I felt was) thoughtful, can’t be displayed because her boyfriend isn’t part of it? And I don’t get so much as a “thank you?”
Am I the asshole for leaving the boyfriend out, when there wasn’t room for him anyway? Should I have been sensitive to this and not ordered this family gift for my step-mom? Help!
submitted by Brodee1977 to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]
It was a custom family display that showed eight people and their first names, all under the family’s last name (e.g. “The Smith Family”). It lights up too. It’s kind of adorable.
There was only room for a maximum of eight people on the display. I listed my father, my step-mom, my sister, me, my wife, and our three children.
When I told my step-mom when to expect delivery, she said she was, “So excited!” Two days after delivery, there was no response. I texted my dad to ask if it was received. “Well...it's very nice, but someone is missing.”
The missing person was my sister’s boyfriend. They’ve been together just over three years. Still just her boyfriend. My sister is my dad and stepmom’s daughter.
“Is that why we didn’t hear back from her (my step-mom)?” I asked.
“Absolutely. It's not something we can display,” my father responded.
I told my dad that while it’s nice they consider my sister’s boyfriend to be family, they’re not married and they could break up tomorrow. “Then it would absolutely never be displayable,” I said. Of course, I also reminded him that I could only feature a maximum of eight people.
Was I supposed to leave myself out of it? Perhaps cut out my youngest child? I listed the eight people who actually have the same last name; who are technically “family.”
My sister (13 years younger than me) has always taken priority no matter what. We couldn’t get together to celebrate the completion of my Master’s degree, because my sister might have wanted to have brunch for her birthday (she was undecided until it was too late).
My dad asked me how I would feel if they did something similar, but left my wife out of it prior to us getting married. However, my wife and I had three children before we were finally married, so I don’t think that’s even in the same vicinity as if she had just been my girlfriend.
Now, the gift, that was well-meaning and (I felt was) thoughtful, can’t be displayed because her boyfriend isn’t part of it? And I don’t get so much as a “thank you?”
Am I the asshole for leaving the boyfriend out, when there wasn’t room for him anyway? Should I have been sensitive to this and not ordered this family gift for my step-mom? Help!
2024.05.18 23:26 Fragrant_Set_8196 Feeling Guilty for what happened to mom but don't like her current behaviors
Background: presently my mother (f 60s) lives with me (male 30s) in my house that she helped me purchase (she gifted the down payment and contributes towards major purchases) about 3+ years ago. The reason my mom lives with me is because she presently can't afford to live on her own and has gone through some severe health issues from which she's recovered from but will have some permanent side effects from that make living on her own hard as well. She has also gone through severe trauma in her past.
Lately her and I have been at odds as I've been dating. I'm currently in a great relationship with a very understanding girlfriend about my situation with my mom. Specifically, that we could make the living arrangement work long term where my mom could live with us due to her health issues.
However, situations have arisen where my mom will not like or feel comfortable with certain things or times I want to do in my relationship and sometimes this creates A conflict. Things can wind being at odds when my mom will try tocontrol me and say things like this:
"Your girlfriend needs to come over later, we need to do things around the house"
"This is Mother's Day weekend. Don't talk to your girlfriend on the phone. If you do, I won't go out on Mothers day"
"We agreed for you not to go to her church regularly. You're not a man of your word"
These are paraphrased too. For reference, I typically don't see my girlfriend Thursday, Fridays or saturdays to devote time to the house and taking care of my mom (my sister works night these days so she could help outside of these nights). Although if there's certain events I do wind up doing them. My girlfriend has been very very understanding here.
The issues wind up being if there's something I want to do that's she's not comfortable with or if she's feels I'm not being responsible to the house (taking care of the yard, dogs watching, cleaning , her medical needs, etc.), she will throw tantrums or say things like above.
Has anyone dealt with this before? My inclination is to do things based on how I feel things are getting done with the house while prioritizing my relationship. I do tend to feel guilty because of all of things that have happened to her but it feels like her wants are too much.
submitted by Fragrant_Set_8196 to raisedbynarcissists [link] [comments]
Lately her and I have been at odds as I've been dating. I'm currently in a great relationship with a very understanding girlfriend about my situation with my mom. Specifically, that we could make the living arrangement work long term where my mom could live with us due to her health issues.
However, situations have arisen where my mom will not like or feel comfortable with certain things or times I want to do in my relationship and sometimes this creates A conflict. Things can wind being at odds when my mom will try tocontrol me and say things like this:
"Your girlfriend needs to come over later, we need to do things around the house"
"This is Mother's Day weekend. Don't talk to your girlfriend on the phone. If you do, I won't go out on Mothers day"
"We agreed for you not to go to her church regularly. You're not a man of your word"
These are paraphrased too. For reference, I typically don't see my girlfriend Thursday, Fridays or saturdays to devote time to the house and taking care of my mom (my sister works night these days so she could help outside of these nights). Although if there's certain events I do wind up doing them. My girlfriend has been very very understanding here.
The issues wind up being if there's something I want to do that's she's not comfortable with or if she's feels I'm not being responsible to the house (taking care of the yard, dogs watching, cleaning , her medical needs, etc.), she will throw tantrums or say things like above.
Has anyone dealt with this before? My inclination is to do things based on how I feel things are getting done with the house while prioritizing my relationship. I do tend to feel guilty because of all of things that have happened to her but it feels like her wants are too much.
2024.05.18 22:38 Woodentreefarm Girlfriend’s 1st Roo Surprise
Hey, Happy almost Roo✨✨So I just confirmed on my resale tickets and I’m surprising my girlfriend with her first Roo trip. I originally told her I wasn’t going to be able to swing it with school and work but secretly been saving up to go all out for her gift (She’s getting two fests just doesn’t know it). This will be my 4th Roo and I’ve done multiple camping trips/fests but her first camping festival in general. I’m so excited for her to experience Roo for all the magic it is and get all the best experiences. I was wondering if y’all had any advice for “must do” first time Bonnaroo Things? Anything a 1st timer must see or do or experience for it to have been a successful Roo. I’m bringing things to trade and things like that for us to get the fun experiences of meeting like-people but I feel like I’m just too excited to think straight about what to bring/do. She’s like the most lovely human ever and I know she’s going to be interested in doing everything and meeting new friends so I’m just asking for any advice on things I should plan for her to do/experience. She knows we are taking a trip that Roo weekend regardless so idk if I should keep it a full secret up until we leave..idk maybe.. Sorry for the ramble, HAPPY ROO y’all💗✨🌈
submitted by Woodentreefarm to bonnaroo [link] [comments]