TL;DR: Shooters have notoriously had a difficult time staying alive while under Nexon's banner.
Go ahead and spam your downvotes, but if you're someone that actually likes to engage in conversation, I urge you to read on.

Intro -- Personal

For starters, The Finals is my favorite FPS game to come out in the last 5 years. I've played since the second CBT and have loved just about every second of it. Prior to my time with The Finals, I was an Apex Legends nerd since release. The pro match hacking incident in Apex Legends is what pushed me over the edge; an edge that I was already barely hanging onto after 3+ years of awful decision-making, balancing, bugs, and tone-deaf MTX offerings. And going even further back 13-ish years (my time with League of Legends), I played Combat Arms for about 4 years and ran a very successful Guild.
Keep Combat Arms in mind for a little later.

The Final(s) Nail In The Coffin

HYENAS
At the time of the first The Finals trailer, HYENAS had been running in closed testing for about 8 months and was luke warm, to say the least. I actually find it very eerie how similar the HYENAS and The Finals were in terms of theming: heisters/contestants fighting for cash in arenas and needing to 'Cash Out'. HYENAS was a game I had on my radar for a bit and was semi-excited to tell my friends about because Apex Legends was in a really rough position and was growing stale in it's growth - we were looking for something else. It had some interesting movement mechanics, which myself and my friends were enamored by in Apex Legends, but nothing too crazy. I was hopeful. After about 2 testing runs, I phased out of HYENAS pretty hard and lost interest as it wasn't really what we were hoping it would be.
Breaking Convention
Fast forward to that 8-month mark, and the trailer for The Finals launches. It's this over-the-top explosive FPS with some crazy arena gimmicks, and holy shit it was pretty. The destruction was incredible, and the developers were touting server-side destruction so that it would be consistent for all players. The gameplay and graphics looked so familiar, and as it turned out, it was made by a bunch of ex-DICE devs. Count me in. Oh, and these were the same cats that released that short but impressive looking trailer for their other game Arc Raiders? Exceptionally promising pedigree, and an already promising duo of upcoming projects to boot. Couldn't be more excited. However... to this day, I don't know if I was getting struck by the Mandella Effect, but I swear I didn't see Nexon's publisher tag in the first few trailers. In any case, by the end of my first beta test, I was well aware and to say I was concerned would be an understatement.
The Good
Embark have done a phenomenal job at creating something unique in a market of Battle Royales and old titans slapping each other with wet noodles on bi-annual cycles. The Finals is insanely unique. Whereas a lot of games that try to break conventions like this tend to have iterations across many years and multiple development studios up to an eventual peak, the formula of The Finals feels like the final iteration of a genre that has never existed. Performance is top notch, the game does what it needs to do graphically and still has additional bells and whistles, and it had a near flawless release (all things considered). Were you to ask me, I could not imagine another game like The Finals existing in it's current exceptionally polished state. The next game like The Finals, whenever it comes out, will likely be exceptionally different. However...
The Bad
Lightning eventually breaks out of the bottle and disappears forever. The Finals, in all of its game design competency, has major issues for lasting in a market like today's and thankfully, for once, it's not actually due to it's MTX implementation and a greedy publisher (I say that cautiously, more on that later). No - the issue that The Finals has and why it's on a trajectory for shuttering is that it has almost zero skill expression. Let me explain.
Were The Finals released 12-ish years ago, it'd be a behemoth of an IP by now and likely would have changed the trajectory of the market in terms of player and audience capture. What do I mean by that? Well, lets look at games 10+ years ago - specifically FPS'. What was the primary appeal and objective? The appeal was an easy to pick-up game which allowed you to get into the action almost immediately. The objective? Click heads faster than your opposition. Game design around that time was rather linear in how it delivered the objective mechanism to the player. Give player gun, player click button; happy player. Competitive games have all existed, but competition now is vastly different.
Today, skill expression is the name of the game. It's not enough to click heads the fastest - that's not how you get your high anymore.
For DayZ, it was a masterful bait and deception. For PUBG, it was about maneuvering long before your opponent did and mastering weapon control. For Fortnite, it was about 'cranking 90s' and building the most optimal structure AROUND your opponent. For Overwatch, it was about chaining a series of abilities together into a combo that 6 players couldn't predict. For Apex Legends, it's about mastering movement in such a way that your opponent gets whiplash. Hell, even in Counterstrike - a game about holding angles - it's about mastering grenade throws.
The Finals... does none of that. You're not baiting anyone around fixed objectives. You're not out maneuvering when spawns are fixed. While structures exist around you, they serve more as an element of chaos than necessarily for control. There's no abilities to string together in some wombo-combo. Grenades are static and don't have a lot of physical attributes to facilitate against the environment like physics. And lastly, and this one hurts me the most because I was absolutely a sweaty try-hard in Apex Legends that spent hours in the shooting range practicing; while there is speed and movement in the game, you're not breaking the game's engineering to manipulate your movement in unintended ways - ways that become SO common... that the developer themselves puts those exploits in future season trailers for the game making them canon mechanics.
In other words, the skill ceiling is about as high as the desk players sit at to play the game. If you can move a mouse or a controller and click buttons, you're in. You just need to get familiar with the maps and weapons and... that's about it. :/
The Ugly
Don't believe me? Lets get numerical. Go look at Twitch stats for The Finals. Now, Twitch isn't an arbiter of truth in terms of a game's performance metrics, but it shows what players are watching. I'll save you the click: The Finals (at the time of writing) is the 215th most watched game. It's a whole 20 rows down on the front page. Now, players love watching high-skill play, but this also shows that even casual viewers still prefer casual games over The Finals. There is no external appeal. As much as I love this game, I'm not above a good joke, so I just wanted to highlight the irony of The Finals being a gameshow... and not being very popular as a show. Lol.
With all of the above said, the game is still in a relatively good position at this moment. Despite having very low player counts (no, I'm not the kind of person to spell doom for a game just because it's player count is dropping - it's on a normal interest decline curve), it requiring a low amount of players to start a game at all is a good thing. Unlike a BR or even a normal TDM-like game, you need a minimum of 9 players to start a round. A 9-player minimum goes a long way in expanding the ability to find a game with only 15,000-ish players. It puts it right in the comfy zone of co-op games like DRG or Vermintide. However, competitive games requiring a stalwart player count to be viable unlike co-op, so that's a bit of a problem right now.
So with that being said, it can always improve right? Something can change to bring back players and bolster it's numbers again, right? Well... um...

Nexon -- The Gravedigger

Nexon & Me -- We Don't Talk About It
My relationship with Nexon is long and... tenuous, at best. To me, Nexon is that family member that only ever comes to larger family get-togethers likes weddings or baby showers. They tend to give out some of the highest ticket gift cards but once the party is over, everyone finds that the giftcards are empty or deactivated. Nexon, over the years since it's arrival in the West in 2005-ish, has been flakey at best, and absent at worst. I'm envious of those who don't have a relationship with Nexon like I do because Nexon has truly been that family figure in my life of gaming since Maplestory - I have been apart of just about every major release pre-2016. I'm 31 now - that's over half of my life. Spoilers: It's not all been good. I'm happy to say that I've been able to communicate with a small handful of you over the last 18 months who have shared my same concerns and have the same history with them that I do.
I played Maplestory religiously. I played Mabinogi diligently. I played Kart Riders confusingly. I played Sudden Attack curiously. I played Combat Arms consistently. I played Vindictus excitedly. All of the previous, and a few more, intermixed with other games not made by Nexon - aside from Runescape, Nexon has been with me just as long, if not longer (depending on how you look at it). I know how Nexon is. I know how Nexon works. I know how Nexon behaves. With that said, it doesn't bring me any joy to pop the virgin cherry for some of you who don't know much about them.
Nexon Doing Nexon Things
I'll only be mentioning relevant titles here to paint the picture that needs to be seen.

• Maplestory - Nexon's most popular MMO. A mere shadow of what it used to be and caught in controversy of trying to be fresh, but appeal to players of the past. Extremely underpopulated now, and generally only played by people who spend money. Maplestory is arguably the birth place of MTX whales in the West. Whaling and spending is so engrained in Maplestory now, it's considered part of it's active culture. Still active, but in perpetual suffering.
  
• Vindictus - One of the very first (if not the first - feel free to correct me) MMO's in the West to introduce brawl-style active combat. Extremely modest MMO at the time. Lackluster story, but very appealing gameplay loop. Practically dead today, and it has succumbed (not necessarily a bad thing) to the 'Korean Developer' trope in introducing a bunch of scantily clad ladies. While the combat loop is still rock-solid, it has aged and others have now done it better (See Blade & Soul, etc). Still alive today, but I'm using that term very loosely.
  

(From here, the only relevant conversation pertaining to this thread will be about FPS')

• Combat Arms - THE absolute F2P FPS behemoth in the West (while Sudden Attack was still in the East). It's both surprising and not surprising how many people don't know or have ever heard about this game. In a time where CSS was still the primary talk in the West, Combat Arms started bringing the Eastern F2P heat. With the largest arsenal of any FPS game to ever be released in the West, Combat Arms was a beacon for the F2P formula behind Maplestory. The beginning of the end occurred with the release of the specialist class which signaled Nexon's decline into P2W depravity. It was now another thorn in the side of players beyond the rampant cheating. Combat Arms declined very quickly beyond that point, and was eventually sold to another company - starts with a 'V'. I can't remember.
  
• Sudden Attack - I'd have to double-check, but I'm fairly confident that this is still the most-played FPS in the world between SK and China primarily due to it's accessibility. While still active today, Western servers were shuttered in 2014. Sudden Attack 2 ceased development less than 2 months after it's release.
  
• Dirty Bomb - After Sudden Attack 1's shuttering, Dirty Bomb came onto the scene. Most people don't know it, but Dirty Bomb was one of the first major contenders to break into the scene that Overwatch eventually solidified. However, Nexon and Splash Damage parted ways, and less than a year later, Dirty Bomb shuttered as well.
  
• LawBreakers - We all remember this well roasted chestnut, don't we?
  

With all of the above information about Nexon's history, its fair to surmise that Nexon has a turbulent cycle serving as a publisher for games. This does not bode well for Embark.
I'd like everyone to remember that the people we engage with on a daily basis in the Discord are passionate Embark folk. This critique of Nexon has no bearing on Embark, however it's important to remember that they'll likely be affected, and it's a shame. Even in the best case scenario that The Finals doesn't shut down, but just maintains a low player-count, it will not serve well under Embark. Unfortunately it will affect Embark's pedigree more than it would ever affect Nexon as Nexon has the same priveledge and power of the likes of EA.
I'll be honest, when I first found out Nexon is the primary publishing house behind Embark, Nexon's history of shuttering games wasn't the first thing I thought of. The first thing I actually thought of was it's history of MTX in it's game. We all joke about horse armor and FIFA packs, but Maplestory led the charge of overbearing MTX in the West. Given today's game market, I was admittedly expecting a lot worse in terms of monetization for The Finals. I'm happy to report that I'm pleasantly surprised with it's current state. I still wouldn't say it's TRUE 'micro' like Helldiver's, but it's way better than a lot of other offerings, especially for me personally coming from a game like Apex Legends.
However, Nexon's influence still can't be ignored. You see, with a history like Nexon's you probably expect what we've all witnessed in the market over the last decade, but Nexon doesn't operate that way. They have a penchant of being rather silent during most, if not all controversies. Hell, just in general - controversies aside. Unlike bodies that we're familiar with like EA, Take-Two, Ubisoft and the like, Nexon doesn't speak outside of their games often, if ever. If you were at a public execution, all of the companies we're familiar with would likely be the Officiant at the pulpit. But Nexon? They're the executioner - completely silent and performing a duty without remorse. This is always how they've acted.

Closing Thoughts

I know I said above that the MTX concerns for The Finals kind of faded away for me as it doesn't seem to be an issue we'll have to worry about, and while it's not the main point of this post, I still find it necessary for players to keep in the back of their head, especially since Embark have other games coming out. Were The Finals not to shutter due to low player count, this is my PSA to all players moving forward, whether it be about The Finals or beyond: Nexon cannot be trusted.
"Well, duh! You can't trust companies anyway, nor should you. It's a company. It's incentive is profit."
To that I say, "That's not my point".
In today's market, we're typically used to a controversy happening in the game on top of whatever PR blunders is going on with the organization, but that's not what would really happen here. The Finals doesn't have any issues beyond it's declining player count, but I want everyone to remain aware of Nexon's moves going forward. Just because we don't necessarily see the smoke here doesn't mean that there isn't a fire somewhere else.
So, for your own interest if you'd like to research on your own, here are some topics of concern:

1. Variety of game closures and sunsets under contentious situations with developers and publishing partners alike.
2. Account security breaches (I guess a more relevant tangent would be GameGuard. Nexon was the first to widely use GameGuard when Maplestory came to the West. I personally don't care, but I know some others would.)
3. Various cases of government scrutiny world-wide due to addictive Gachapon implementations.
4. Speaking of Gachapon (and P2W), their recent suit around manipulating odds for a P2W item outside of it's listed values: https://www.koreaherald.com/view.php?ud=20240312050604
5. And lastly, most recently, Nexon pulling back public support for Maplestory's would-be world-first level 300 player when he used the opportunity to address genuine concerns about the game's current state, including the above lawsuit.

Hito Hito No Mi, Mythical Model: Reaper

Human Human Fruit, Model: Reaper

Type: Mythical Zoan
Appearance: Lavender coloured Corn-like fruit. The "Husk" of the corn appear wispy and smoke like.
Description: A Zoan-type Devil Fruit that grants its user the ability to transform into a perceived personification of the Reaper of Death.

Abilities and Powers:

Full Transformation: The user can transform completely into a Reaper, gaining 5 feet to their natural height. Their skin takes on an almost translucent ashy colour with their skeleton slightly visible. Shadowy wisps envelop their body and take on the form of a full body cloak. Their eyes appear to sink into darkness and enormous wings sprout from their back.
Reaper Hybrid Form: The user can assume a hybrid form that combines the features of their full transformstion with their human characteristics. They gaint 3 feet to their height, wings sprout from their back and. And the shadowy wisps cover their arms and legs.
Soul Weakening Bite: In both transformed forms the user gains the use of a ghostly blade, by drawing blood they are able to siphon stamina until the enemy loses conciousness..
Enhanced Senses: The user gains heightened senses, particularly in detecting heat and vibrations, allowing them to track prey or sense danger more effectively. This extends to the ability to sense the human soul.
Increased Agility: The user's agility and reflexes are significantly enhanced, allowing them to dodge attacks with ease and move swiftly in combat.
Camouflage: The user fully or partially transformed can become ghostlike and appear invisible to all but those proficient with observation haki. This ability is particularly useful for stealth operations and ambushes.

Usage Examples:

• Soul Strike: With the ghostly wisps enveloped around their limbs the user is able to weaken oponent with each strike they make.
• Soul Steal: Becoming ghostlike, the user is able to pierce opinents with their ghostly blade rendering them unconcious.
• Hybrid Combat: In hybrid form, the user combines human combat skills with the deadly abilities of a black mamba for versatile and effective fighting. -Flight: The user is able to make use of the wings they gain for flight.

Awakening:

In their awakened form the wisps that envelop their head and torso disperse and form a smoke like sash that wraps over their shoulders and around their neck. Their legs are still covered by the cloak. The abilities they gain include being able to become more ghostlike, making them impervious to any haki-less attacks. They are also able to momentarily draw out the sounds of individuals by placing their palm over their heart. Lastly they are able to summon the souls of those they pierce with their ghostly blade to become a ghostly apparition that fights on their side.

Weaknesses:

• High Winds: The user's strengths lie is the wisps that envelop their body, in high winds the user cannot focus these wisps rendering them incapable of using their Soul abilities.
• Light: They are stronger in the darkness or during the night. This extends to user's of the Pika Pika No Mi.
• Standard Devil Fruit Weaknesses: Like all Devil Fruit users, the user is vulnerable to the inability to swim and the nullifying effects of Seastone.

Thought Process
All the three suggested passives for the new T95 dual wield magic weapons have the same glaring weakness: they focus on too few abilities. The first two passives focus entirely on Wild Magic, while the third passive focuses on bleeds, of which Magic only has two. Also, bleeds are currently not worth using in a Sunshine rotation or in group PvM. While I believe that the third passive is the most interesting, I think that all three should be scrapped and the devs should focus on something that allows for multiple abilities to be useful without feeling restrictive. Here are my suggested changes.

1. Rework bleeds so that they are boosted by damage-boosting ultimates, overloads, prayers, allowed to critically strike, and do not cancel out when others use them in group encounters. This would likely mean a bleed nerf across the board, but it is necessary to make the abilities worth using and future proof the game.
2. Remove the dual wield and 2h restrictions of all Magic abilities. While it makes sense for Cleave to be a 2h Melee ability, there is no reason that magical spells can only be cast with a staff or wand and orb. The beta shows that they are clearly open to this. Let's make it a reality in the live game.
3. Make Magma Tempest and Sonic Wave damage over time abilities. Magma Tempest is already a damage over time ability without being classified as one. Sonic Wave is currently useless as it shares a cooldown with Concentrated Blast. Remove the shared cooldown and give it a unique identity. You don’t have to go with my idea below, but make it something that is worth using.

Ability Changes
Magma Tempest
No longer a two-handed exclusive ability.
Changed to a damage over time ability as it already functions like one.
Concentrated Blast/Greater Concentrated Blast
No longer a dual wield exclusive ability.
No longer shares a cooldown with Sonic Wave/Greater Sonic Wave.
Sonic Wave/Greater Sonic Wave
No longer shares a cooldown with Concentrated Blast/Greater Concentrated Blast.
Changed to a damage over time ability that buffs other damage over time abilities, giving magic more DoTs to play with.
Sonic Wave
A focused blast of magic that ripples through the target.

• 12% - 15% Magic damage per hit every 1.2s.
• 8 hits.
• Damage over time.
• Grants Ripple for 5.4s.
• Generates 8% Adrenaline.

Greater Sonic Wave
A focused blast of magic that ripples through the target leaving behind residual energy.

• 15% - 20% Magic damage per hit every 1.2s.
• 8 hits.
• Damage over time.
• Grants Greater Ripple for 5.4s.
• Generates 8% Adrenaline.

Ripple
Each hit of your next damage over time ability increases by 1% ability damage for each hit before it.
Greater Ripple
Your next damage over time ability deals an additional hit. Each hit increases by 1% ability damage for each hit before it.
How this scaling would work:
Let’s say that you cast Greater Sonic Wave and then you cast Combust.
Combust would deal the following hits:

• 25% - 31% Magic damage
• 26% - 32% Magic damage
• 28% - 34% Magic damage.
• 31% - 37% Magic damage.
• 35% - 41% Magic damage.
• 40% - 46% Magic damage.

This would make Combust deal an average 185% - 221% ability damage without walking the bleed or any damage buffs or extensions.
T95 Dual Wield Passive
Passive Effect: Corruption
The T95 orb has a passive effect called Corruption. While equipped, all damage over time abilities will deal an additional hit and generate a stack of Essence of Corruption for each hit. Each stack of Essence of Corruption reduces the adrenaline cost of all multi-hit threshold and ultimate abilities by 1% adrenaline. Upon casting a multi-hit threshold or ultimate ability, Essence of Corruption stacks are cleared equal to the decreased cost and the ability deals an additional hit. Multi-hit abilities would be considered any ability that is a damage over time ability or that hits the same target multiple times. This effect applies to Asphyxiate, Omnipower, Combust, Wild Magic, Magma Tempest, Corruption Blast, Smoke Tendrils, Sonic Wave/Greater Sonic Wave, Concentrated Blast/Greater Concentrated Blast, and Tempest of Armadyl.
How this works:
Let’s say that you have no Essence of Corruption stacks. You cast Combust and Corruption Blast and use a few non-DoT filler basics while the stacks build. Both abilities would hit 6 times instead of 5 due to the Corruption passive. Combust would do its normal amount of damage on the final hit and Corruption Blast would do a slightly smaller hit on its last hit as the damage scales down. You reach 12 Essence of Corruption stacks and then cast Smoke Tendrils. Smoke Tendrils would only cost 3% Adrenaline and remove the 12 Essence of Corruption stacks. It would also deal five hits instead of four with the last hit doing 100% - 150% ability damage, following how the damage scales. The player would also take an additional fifth hit of 20% - 40% ability damage.
Closing Thoughts
I am incredibly happy that the devs chose to allow the players to test the different passives in a beta. My hope with this post is that it would encourage the devs to create a passive and special attack that is useful even if the player is using revolution, but really rewards the player for prioritizing certain abilities and interacting with the stacks without being overly restrictive. The Bow of the Last Guardian is a perfect example of being a weapon that immediately feels like an upgrade with noticeable impact but also has a high skill ceiling.
I tried not to focus on the numbers as much as how it would feel to use but provided numbers so that it would be clearly communicated how everything would work. Numbers can always be tweaked to make things weaker or stronger depending on where the DPM falls. I have not suggested a special attack as I believe that it is not important to discuss until the passive has been determined. Thank you all for taking your time to read this!

Chapter 9: Knowing
—
Suggested Listening:
Nicholas Brittel Agape
Required Listening ⭐️ Kwabs Like a Star Cover (Corinne Bailey Rae)
⭐️ Raye Vela Like a Star Cover (Corinne Bailey Rae)
—
“Is your heart doing okay?” I asked.
“Yes. It is fine. I am tired, but alright.”
“Good,” I said. “I was wondering. Can you tell me another poem? And then we can go to sleep.”
Sasha looked at me. “About what?” he said, smoke drifting into my face.
“I don’t know. Tell me one about someone you love.”
“Hmm,” he nodded. “Let’s see.”
He pondered this, then an expression I can only describe as conflicted crept across his face.
“What?” I asked.
“There are few I love so dearly as this person.”
My eyes widened. “Who is it?”
Sasha’s brow furrowed. Then he frowned. At first a little, then deeply.
“What?” I asked gently.
Sasha shook his head. I saw pain now in his expression.
“You don’t have to,” I said, my own brow furrowing. “Please don’t. I can pick something else. Or, actually, we can just go to sleep right now.”
Sasha closed his eyes. Then nodded as if he had come to a decision.
“I will do this. This person I love more than my own self. I would die for him. However, it will not be pretty, this poem.”
I frowned too. “Okay,” I whispered.
“ Sharp Like the tip of a blade Blunt Like the pommel of the same sword Me Like the face of his face Him Like the reflection of my visage Swift Like the bird of prey’s flight Ruthless Like the killing of its hunt Dark Like the night without the moon Troubled Like the Dead River of the Void Alive Like his heart’s beating rhythm Dying Like the joy of his soul “
“Who is that about?” I asked, concerned. “You, ‘the face of his face.’ Your twin?”
“Yes. He is not well,” Sasha said.
“Why? What happened?”
Sasha turned away from me, shaking his head. “It is too heavy to speak of just now. In the future we will.”
“Okay, I get you,” I reassured him.
“Thank you. I worry about him everyday. I call him just as much. I would give my life for him. I owe it to him,” Sasha said fiercely. “He gave his and much more. Because of his strength we survived an ordeal too terrible to speak of.”
I thought back to when he said he felt as if he were dying. I hadn’t known he meant it literally. Then the words he had latched on to: mangled and twisted. A picture was forming. A bad one.
“Thank you for creating this poem. You didn’t have to put yourself through that pain for me,” I said guiltily. Sasha shook his head at me.
“It is okay. Perhaps it was good to express his personality in poetry. It hurts to be away from him in this place. He-“ Sasha stopped. He rubbed his mouth. “I hope he is well enough to come eventually.”
I wondered what he’d been about to say. But I did not press the issue.
“Me too. I’m so sorry you all are dealing with that kind of pain. For what it’s worth, I think the poem you made about him is beautiful. Your brother sounds like a strong Wingscale that’s really going through it right now. I hope whatever joy has been stolen from him—from his soul—renews from the ashes. Or maybe some new joy will settle there, burning brightly.”
“Like a Phoenix,” he smiled. “I will tell him what you said. You two would get along, I think.”
“I can’t wait to meet him then,” I said. I wondered what sort of person he was. Moreover, I found it incredibly interesting that Sasha had a twin considering I did as well. I would tell him that news sometime when he was not already overwhelmed.
“Why don’t you get some rest? You’ve had all kinds of heart attacks and poetry and seen fire wings and what have you,” I suggested.
Sasha chuckled. “Perhaps. I must escape from this. I do not think I have made so many beautiful words manifest as poetry as I have tonight. If I do not sleep I will continue.”
“Okay, right? I usually spend some serious time writing these things. But tonight it’s like my mouth is possessed by my own self.”
“What an apt way to describe it. I feel the same. I acknowledge that my manner of speech is skilled, but tonight it holds a level of eloquence that I did not know I possessed.”
I thought back to his oration, the first thing he recited of our lyrical night. I shivered. “Sasha, you can ‘Speak to me’ anytime. This soul is listening. Eloquence indeed.”
“I promise I will speak to you more oration. You are the only person I know who would enjoy such serious strings of words for your own enjoyment.”
“I have a taste for dignity,” I replied.
Sasha paused. “What more do you need of eloquence when your mouth creates it from nowhere?”
“You have the flavor I want.”
Sasha stared at me incredulously and shook his head. “I am done with you again. You talk me into a trap at every turn.”
I cackled at him. “Alright, alright. It’s time for you go to sleep.”
“Very well,” he said, laughing gently.
I held him closer, although it was impossible. His wing came down over me like a shroud of protection. We held on to each other in silence, not needing anything to fill the space. I just breathed him. Smoke. Fire. Silence. Warmth. Breath. Growl. They spoke enough.
After a while of just laying there in peacefulness, he fell asleep. I could feel the regular inhalations and exhalations marked by the shudder of his chest. And he was a heavy sleeper. Or he was exhausted. Both probably. His flames were still wild even in slumber. Small flickers and tendrils of fire peeked every so often from his mouth. A deep growl emanated from his chest and throat at every exhalation. I stroked Sasha’s face as he slept, the heat of his fire on my hand, and he didn’t move an inch.
I watched him for a while until it occurred to me to write out all the words we had recited to each other. I turned over and reached past his wing to grab my phone from the nightstand. The glow from my screen was strange, it’s blueness cutting through the smoky red in my vision. I sat back and typed every amazing thing we had said.
Those collections of words we had stitched together from nothing just floored me. I had never made poetry like what I did that night. Such passion and beauty.
I looked at Sasha again, thinking about the words that had entranced me from his mouth.
‘Speak to me.’
‘Speak to me.’
The phrase kept ringing out in my chest. He was right. It was a rare thing to find someone who would hang on to your every word with the utmost attention. With actual interest, engagement. I wanted to speak to him forever, about anything. And he would listen. I would listen to him.
I closed my eyes and shook my head at such strong thoughts about a stranger. I thought of all the ‘normal’ people I had dated in the past. The relationships had all gone ‘normally’: date, texting, talking into the night, more dates, sex, dates. Accusations, breakups, crying. Getting over it. Normal stuff.
This was not normal, not in the slightest. Never in all my life had I behaved the way I did under that tree. I was still wondering who that was. Who was the Leila that kissed that way, that straddled dragons in broad daylight? That made love without a first date at all and then swore a stranger to an oath of binding, a whole relationship? That spoke poetry at him from her breath like it was my own fire?
Apparently I was her. It frightened me, the speed with which she and I had moved in one evening. And yet it all felt perfectly normal, inevitable.
Of course I had known when Sasha arrived there was something special about him, no matter how I tried to pretend everything was normal. why was I pretending?
That very first day, when I saw him walk into my morning class, I wasn’t paying attention when he said who he was. I had looked up and locked eyes with him. We held each others gaze for a beat longer than necessary.
Every damn class that day, and the following, I missed him announce his name. It was like a comedy sketch. The writing class we shared was the only one I was paying close attention to, and the professor had written his name on the board of course. It was infuriating.
I watched him like a hawk after he arrived that week. In all that time he didn’t speak around me. And I never spoke to him. Why hadn’t I? What had stopped me?
Just like he said, we just kept Circling each other, but never allowed ourselves to meet at the center of our orbit. He felt the same way. He had said he wanted to speak with me as well but for some reason he didn’t.
It was like a force was beckoning us to each other. To finally meet at the center of a Circle.
This day had been the first time I heard his voice at all. If I had heard it earlier, I would have been completely undone. I would not have let him walk away from me so many times.
I stared at his sleeping form, and a thought came to me again. He avoided speaking around me on purpose. Talking to me. He had known that getting close to me might start something, but had he know it would be his voice that caused such a domino effect? Then again, he knew far more than I did about Callings. Frequencies.
I balked at that word. It was so clumsy, so empty to how it felt. We shared vibes. My soul vibrated on the same wavelength as his body. Our mouths breathed the same breath. Our hearts beat the same.
Sameness. Oneness. Vibes.
He knew something would happen to his body if he let us get too close to each other. I was what he thought I was, and he had failed to prevent that change in us. But he didn’t know anything of how these changes would manifest.
It had happened so fast that he was alarmed to see me standing there in class. As soon as I greeted him, the very second he said ‘hi,’ that curious sound beneath his voice started. The thought that he was so helpless at that moment saddened me the same way it did him when he revealed the permanence of Calling. He never stood a chance. I kissed my hand and continued to stroke his face with that kiss.
And then the wings. The dreams and visions. Those two otherworldly beings… What were we? Were we gods or something? Were we reincarnated versions of them? Possessed? Were they using us? What did any of this mean? I did not know.
I tried to be more upset about this breech on our lives that sent us careening down a path we didn’t ask for. But looking at that red dragon, how could I? Our first contact was so lovely. The way we had spoken to each other in class was sweet. Neither of us could keep a smile off our faces. Laughing and carrying on, a perfect match of good humor.
I stared at him trying to conjure up feelings of grief, apprehension, fear, irritation or anything negative at all, and I came up with nothing.
I sighed. I could tell that in that other life, in that place of lakes of fire and expanses of the cosmos, that we were really something special. Something strong. Something beautiful. I was not alarmed at our sudden connection, the strength of it, the passion of it.
But if we broke apart from one another in the future—everything in me said no—that alarmed me. The coldness. The despair. The threat of death at an incomplete attunement. At a great falling away into a chasm. It was horrifying that Sasha could literally die from us being separated. It was unfair.
I would never let that happen. How horrible a thought. Not after this Calling had fallen upon him and surprises kept rearing their heads.
I was done writing our poems and, subsequently, my musings. I put my phone back where it belonged. My head was still swirling with all those thoughts, but I shut my eyes and tried to shut down my mind.
I held Sasha again. Even in his sleep he put his arms back around me. It made me smile to be enveloped in his warmth.
Eventually I drifted off to sleep as well.

I don’t know how long I had been asleep when I felt Sasha’s heartbeat pick up enough to wake me. It was the time where night lingers in the earliest of hours. Nothing but the soft murmur of calling insects and wind outside.
I groaned and looked up into Sasha’s face, but he was still sleeping.
“What is it?” I asked, groggy.
“Please,” he slurred.
“Please what?” I whispered, more alert.
He mumbled something more in his sleep. “Make it stop,” he whispered. “Please,” he pleaded. “…the shore...”
I put my hands over my mouth. I didn’t know what he could be dreaming about. It occurred to me that all that talk of pain and wounds might have stemmed from ptsd or something like that. He was in the military after all.
I let him be just in case that’s what it was. I did not want to add additional stress or confusion to a ptsd dream.
Eventually Sasha stirred of his own accord. He opened his eyes and looked around in confusion. I waited until he seemed to be all there with me.
“Hey, you alright?” I didn’t mention his sleep talking.
He didn’t say a word for a moment, just rubbed his eyebrows. Then he patted my back. I let go of him so he could sit up.
He removed his wing from around me, groaning.
“What is it?” I inquired.
Sasha rubbed the sleep from his eyes and looked at me. “I heard your Calling…” he whispered tiredly in wonder, so low I almost didn’t hear him. “It was soft and quiet, almost imperceptible. But I heard it, still, in my sleep…”
My eyes widened, my heart pounding as well. I sat up. “Really?” I whispered back. “What is it like?”
He moved his head to the side, still listening. “Soft waves. A wind chime. A whisper of song. I have heard it before. That is why I awoke,” he said.
“Really?” I asked. My Calling sounded peaceful like being at the beach. Of course, my favorite place. Interesting. I sleepily folded my arms under my head.
“It is very faint.” Sasha closed his eyes. “I know when I heard it.”
“When was that?” I asked.
“You are sleepy still. We can speak of it later.”
I waved him off. “We are awake now. I have no doubt when we say we’ll sleep again it will be no trouble. I fell to sleep easily and so did you.”
Sasha chuckled to himself. “Very well, Leila.” He leaned his back, head against the headboard. His eyes stayed closed.
“I was sitting with my brother, Pasha, upon a stone wall at the beach. It was the evening before I came to this place. I was unsure if I had made the right decision to go with my father. To leave Pasha behind. I had wanted to throw myself into my work to forget the ordeal we had both gone through. But Pasha told me I needed something new, and that whatever it was lie across the ocean waiting for me. Something fulfilling. He said that, surely, wallowing in guilt, in anger and sadness, would not help me heal my wounds although he was dealing with wounds of his own.”
I wondered what wounds he meant. I had seen the scars on his wings. More pain. More scars. Mangled and twisted. He had died and would do so again. Moreover, he had muttered something about the shore. And here it appeared in his story. What had happened to him?
As if sensing my questions, he inhaled deeply.
“I will tell you of the things that transpired eventually. It was… horrible. It is still too raw for me. I apologize for these strange disjointed hints of pain, of suffering.”
“No, no. It’s okay. We will discuss it all later,” I said appreciatively. “Go on.”
“Hmm. Even after Pasha’s encouragement, I still felt apprehension about traveling to this land. All at once, I heard a woman singing on the beach, yet I saw no one.
I heard the sound of wildly swaying wind chimes, of rain, of whipping winds, but there were nothing anywhere to make such sounds.
My brother thought I was crazy. But that voice stirred my spirit as I stared out at that dark water. It was mournful, like a siren in a tempest whose heart had been broken to pieces.
At one point, she whispered a barely discernible plea: ‘Someone, just please help me.’ ‘I can’t do this.’”
I gasped in alarm, my heart hammering away so hard I thought I would have a heart attack. I knew at once the woman was me. It was me who had been pleading in turmoil, with those precise words, wanting someone to swoop down and save me. By the Goddess…
Sasha continued his tale, perhaps not noticing my change in demeanor. “I didn’t know where she was, or what it was she did not want to do, but I told my brother to give me a moment.
I stood and walked along the shore, looking for someone in need, for anything strange. I never found any such woman. I spoke a word of peace to her, whoever she was, wherever she was.”
At the same time, we both said:“Calm your spirit and be at peace. Whatever you feel, just let it exist. Let it be.”
Sasha stopped. He opened his eyes and stared at me in awe. “You heard those words?”
I nodded, heart still pounding. Which of us was having these heart troubles? Him or me?
Sasha shook his head, rubbing his face. “Madness. But truly amazing nonetheless,” he said quietly.
“Yeah…” I responded. I didn’t know what else to say.
“It was you,” he said, not asked.
“I suppose so…”
Sasha continued.
“I returned to my brother to conclude our talk. I told him I wanted to stay a while, and he stayed with me. The song turned into something sweeter after a time. I went looking yet again but never found you. Of course I could not. You were nowhere near me.
Eventually we left. Pasha and I parted ways, and I returned to my home.
No matter what I did, I could not shake your voice from my mind that evening. It sent shivers down my spine. So I returned to the beach. There was nothing else for it; I would have remained awake all night agonizing over my travels the next day anyway. Why not do so surrounded by such mystical music?
I went to a quiet place, book and blanket in hand. The water was complete still, yet the sound of waves was everywhere. Intangible, lapping against the shore.”
I recalled when I had mentioned sitting at the beach watching waves lapping on the shore. He had paused then, as we stood in his living room, thinking of something. I now knew he had recalled this event and wondered at the similarities.
“The sunset was vibrant, strangely so. It was stunning, like a painting. No one else seemed to find the sight of note but me.
You were singing, but again in sorrow. I stayed out there, reading a book and meditating, until others went away from the beach. Until only I remained. Your faint song, the softest whispers of singing, became sweet again. So much singing, you did. By the gods so much singing. It was like a quiet concert.”
I covered my face. “I’m glad you caught them,” I said, laughing.
“There was only one song I caught well enough to hear the words. You sang it over and over. I did not sleep until you uttered nothing more, your voice fading away. I felt empty at the silence, but content in that, perhaps, my presence had calmed this siren, that perhaps her broken heart had somewhat mended. Unfortunately for me; the absence of your songs caused a melancholy to settle in my spirit. A longing. I came here looking for your voice. I questioned your love of voices because it shocked me, the similarities we continue to share.”
“Hmmm,” I vocalized, not unlike he so often did.
Sasha regarded me, shaking his head in wonder. “Repeating that event back, it is obvious that this woman was you. At the time, back when it happened, I regarded it as a very strange occurrence or perhaps my descent into madness,” he said.
“You most certainly are not mad,” I said.
“Indeed. I know very well at this point that your experience across the ocean happened at that time. You knew my words.”
“I remember them well. Just like a lot of things so far, we have these experiences, the aspects of ourselves that are too similar to be a coincidence. We are like mirrors.”
“Only one of us is larger.”
“Sasha!” I exclaimed.
He laughed at me, hugging me. Then he lay down onto the bed again.
“Speak to me of that same evening,” he said.
I sat up slightly, leaning on my elbow, looking into his eyes.
“I was at the beach too. Certainly the same night, the same week you appeared at school. I have this one particular spot on the beach where no one goes but me. I would make myself a wood fire and look at the smoke swirl into tendrils, embers scattering to the wind. I would sit there to watch storms roll in the distance, writing poetry or doing homework or what have you.”
Sasha nodded, acknowledging the picture I painted was the same as his Call. I nudged him, making him smile.
“But that day? I was having an awful time. Every year I dreaded the same thing, but I always escaped. This time, there was no more running. I was cornered, trapped. And the choice was before me. I stared across the ocean and cried. I said it as you heard. ‘I can’t do this. Please help me.’ I just wanted someone to get me out of that situation, but I wasn’t willing to ask for it again. I was so tired of disappointment.
So I’m sitting there in front of these hypnotic flames singing to myself, trying to shake off those bad spirits. Couldn’t even write a poem about my own despair.”
“Impossible. I refuse to believe such nonsense,” he said, chuckling.
“Shocking, I know,” I agreed, smiling. “That’s when I heard a thunderstorm on the horizon. At least there was that, I thought. My greatest comfort to cheer me.
I’m listening to that distant storm, but there were no clouds, no darkness, no strike of lightning. It puzzled me.
But the sky. Oh Sasha, that was the most beautiful sunset I’ve ever seen. The same wonderful night sky you saw. It was brighter than normal, like fire and roses and gold melding with the sea. I have never seen a more beautiful place for the Goddess to drift into slumber.
I stood up and looked around. Further down the beach people were still going into the water, chatting, lazing about, like nothing was happening. Like this gorgeous sky and this distant storm did not exist.
Then I heard this voice. It was faint. Super faint. But so deep—“ I patted his chest, now knowing it was him. “Your voice; you said those words to me such that my soul was contented.”
“Calm your spirit and be at peace. Whatever you feel, just let it exist. Let it be,” he repeated quietly. “I live by these words. I acknowledge the feelings and emotions, the pain and joy, that exist in me, that often loom before me. The negative ones will not simply vanish because I ignore them. Sometimes it is easy to face them. And sometimes it is so, so hard, Leila. So hard it feels impossible. But I try, still.”
“And your way of facing your emotions is the truth. I did as you suggested that night; the intense sorrow I felt was for a reason, for many reasons. And I just let all that sorrow unfold so I could face it. Your words were like a warm hug in the midst of my despair. Thank you.”
“You are always welcome,” he said, stroking my face. “Go on.”
“After that, I stayed out there all night. The storm never showed itself, but only grew louder. It’s like it rolled only for me. And it did, didn’t it?
I slept out there under the stars that night. Didn’t care about school. Didn’t care about anyone or anything. Your voice of peace washed away all my worries. So after that I just sang as the thunder peeled, and I did so all evening and into the night. I started singing to you specifically after that. Joyously. I broke out my best numbers,” I said. I covered my face, cracking up.
He laughed quietly. “Indeed; as I said, what I could discern was beautiful.”
I uncovered my face and smiled. “Thank you,” I said. I sighed, reaching my tale’s conclusion. “The next day I felt like I had come out of a deep meditation. Like the sorrow of yesterday did not exist. I had hoped to the Sun that your voice was the Answer to what troubled me. Then your voice stopped for a time. Until today.”

Chapter 9: Knowing
—
Suggested Listening:
Nicholas Brittel Agape
Required Listening ⭐️ Kwabs Like a Star Cover (Corinne Bailey Rae)
⭐️ Raye Vela Like a Star Cover (Corinne Bailey Rae)
—
“Is your heart doing okay?” I asked.
“Yes. It is fine. I am tired, but alright.”
“Good,” I said. “I was wondering. Can you tell me another poem? And then we can go to sleep.”
Sasha looked at me. “About what?” he said, smoke drifting into my face.
“I don’t know. Tell me one about someone you love.”
“Hmm,” he nodded. “Let’s see.”
He pondered this, then an expression I can only describe as conflicted crept across his face.
“What?” I asked.
“There are few I love so dearly as this person.”
My eyes widened. “Who is it?”
Sasha’s brow furrowed. Then he frowned. At first a little, then deeply.
“What?” I asked gently.
Sasha shook his head. I saw pain now in his expression.
“You don’t have to,” I said, my own brow furrowing. “Please don’t. I can pick something else. Or, actually, we can just go to sleep right now.”
Sasha closed his eyes. Then nodded as if he had come to a decision.
“I will do this. This person I love more than my own self. I would die for him. However, it will not be pretty, this poem.”
I frowned too. “Okay,” I whispered.
“ Sharp Like the tip of a blade Blunt Like the pommel of the same sword Me Like the face of his face Him Like the reflection of my visage Swift Like the bird of prey’s flight Ruthless Like the killing of its hunt Dark Like the night without the moon Troubled Like the Dead River of the Void Alive Like his heart’s beating rhythm Dying Like the joy of his soul “
“Who is that about?” I asked, concerned. “You, ‘the face of his face.’ Your twin?”
“Yes. He is not well,” Sasha said.
“Why? What happened?”
Sasha turned away from me, shaking his head. “It is too heavy to speak of just now. In the future we will.”
“Okay, I get you,” I reassured him.
“Thank you. I worry about him everyday. I call him just as much. I would give my life for him. I owe it to him,” Sasha said fiercely. “He gave his and much more. Because of his strength we survived an ordeal too terrible to speak of.”
I thought back to when he said he felt as if he were dying. I hadn’t known he meant it literally. Then the words he had latched on to: mangled and twisted. A picture was forming. A bad one.
“Thank you for creating this poem. You didn’t have to put yourself through that pain for me,” I said guiltily. Sasha shook his head at me.
“It is okay. Perhaps it was good to express his personality in poetry. It hurts to be away from him in this place. He-“ Sasha stopped. He rubbed his mouth. “I hope he is well enough to come eventually.”
I wondered what he’d been about to say. But I did not press the issue.
“Me too. I’m so sorry you all are dealing with that kind of pain. For what it’s worth, I think the poem you made about him is beautiful. Your brother sounds like a strong Wingscale that’s really going through it right now. I hope whatever joy has been stolen from him—from his soul—renews from the ashes. Or maybe some new joy will settle there, burning brightly.”
“Like a Phoenix,” he smiled. “I will tell him what you said. You two would get along, I think.”
“I can’t wait to meet him then,” I said. I wondered what sort of person he was. Moreover, I found it incredibly interesting that Sasha had a twin considering I did as well. I would tell him that news sometime when he was not already overwhelmed.
“Why don’t you get some rest? You’ve had all kinds of heart attacks and poetry and seen fire wings and what have you,” I suggested.
Sasha chuckled. “Perhaps. I must escape from this. I do not think I have made so many beautiful words manifest as poetry as I have tonight. If I do not sleep I will continue.”
“Okay, right? I usually spend some serious time writing these things. But tonight it’s like my mouth is possessed by my own self.”
“What an apt way to describe it. I feel the same. I acknowledge that my manner of speech is skilled, but tonight it holds a level of eloquence that I did not know I possessed.”
I thought back to his oration, the first thing he recited of our lyrical night. I shivered. “Sasha, you can ‘Speak to me’ anytime. This soul is listening. Eloquence indeed.”
“I promise I will speak to you more oration. You are the only person I know who would enjoy such serious strings of words for your own enjoyment.”
“I have a taste for dignity,” I replied.
Sasha paused. “What more do you need of eloquence when your mouth creates it from nowhere?”
“You have the flavor I want.”
Sasha stared at me incredulously and shook his head. “I am done with you again. You talk me into a trap at every turn.”
I cackled at him. “Alright, alright. It’s time for you go to sleep.”
“Very well,” he said, laughing gently.
I held him closer, although it was impossible. His wing came down over me like a shroud of protection. We held on to each other in silence, not needing anything to fill the space. I just breathed him. Smoke. Fire. Silence. Warmth. Breath. Growl. They spoke enough.
After a while of just laying there in peacefulness, he fell asleep. I could feel the regular inhalations and exhalations marked by the shudder of his chest. And he was a heavy sleeper. Or he was exhausted. Both probably. His flames were still wild even in slumber. Small flickers and tendrils of fire peeked every so often from his mouth. A deep growl emanated from his chest and throat at every exhalation. I stroked Sasha’s face as he slept, the heat of his fire on my hand, and he didn’t move an inch.
I watched him for a while until it occurred to me to write out all the words we had recited to each other. I turned over and reached past his wing to grab my phone from the nightstand. The glow from my screen was strange, it’s blueness cutting through the smoky red in my vision. I sat back and typed every amazing thing we had said.
Those collections of words we had stitched together from nothing just floored me. I had never made poetry like what I did that night. Such passion and beauty.
I looked at Sasha again, thinking about the words that had entranced me from his mouth.
‘Speak to me.’
‘Speak to me.’
The phrase kept ringing out in my chest. He was right. It was a rare thing to find someone who would hang on to your every word with the utmost attention. With actual interest, engagement. I wanted to speak to him forever, about anything. And he would listen. I would listen to him.
I closed my eyes and shook my head at such strong thoughts about a stranger. I thought of all the ‘normal’ people I had dated in the past. The relationships had all gone ‘normally’: date, texting, talking into the night, more dates, sex, dates. Accusations, breakups, crying. Getting over it. Normal stuff.
This was not normal, not in the slightest. Never in all my life had I behaved the way I did under that tree. I was still wondering who that was. Who was the Leila that kissed that way, that straddled dragons in broad daylight? That made love without a first date at all and then swore a stranger to an oath of binding, a whole relationship? That spoke poetry at him from her breath like it was my own fire?
Apparently I was her. It frightened me, the speed with which she and I had moved in one evening. And yet it all felt perfectly normal, inevitable.
Of course I had known when Sasha arrived there was something special about him, no matter how I tried to pretend everything was normal. why was I pretending?
That very first day, when I saw him walk into my morning class, I wasn’t paying attention when he said who he was. I had looked up and locked eyes with him. We held each others gaze for a beat longer than necessary.
Every damn class that day, and the following, I missed him announce his name. It was like a comedy sketch. The writing class we shared was the only one I was paying close attention to, and the professor had written his name on the board of course. It was infuriating.
I watched him like a hawk after he arrived that week. In all that time he didn’t speak around me. And I never spoke to him. Why hadn’t I? What had stopped me?
Just like he said, we just kept Circling each other, but never allowed ourselves to meet at the center of our orbit. He felt the same way. He had said he wanted to speak with me as well but for some reason he didn’t.
It was like a force was beckoning us to each other. To finally meet at the center of a Circle.
This day had been the first time I heard his voice at all. If I had heard it earlier, I would have been completely undone. I would not have let him walk away from me so many times.
I stared at his sleeping form, and a thought came to me again. He avoided speaking around me on purpose. Talking to me. He had known that getting close to me might start something, but had he know it would be his voice that caused such a domino effect? Then again, he knew far more than I did about Callings. Frequencies.
I balked at that word. It was so clumsy, so empty to how it felt. We shared vibes. My soul vibrated on the same wavelength as his body. Our mouths breathed the same breath. Our hearts beat the same.
Sameness. Oneness. Vibes.
He knew something would happen to his body if he let us get too close to each other. I was what he thought I was, and he had failed to prevent that change in us. But he didn’t know anything of how these changes would manifest.
It had happened so fast that he was alarmed to see me standing there in class. As soon as I greeted him, the very second he said ‘hi,’ that curious sound beneath his voice started. The thought that he was so helpless at that moment saddened me the same way it did him when he revealed the permanence of Calling. He never stood a chance. I kissed my hand and continued to stroke his face with that kiss.
And then the wings. The dreams and visions. Those two otherworldly beings… What were we? Were we gods or something? Were we reincarnated versions of them? Possessed? Were they using us? What did any of this mean? I did not know.
I tried to be more upset about this breech on our lives that sent us careening down a path we didn’t ask for. But looking at that red dragon, how could I? Our first contact was so lovely. The way we had spoken to each other in class was sweet. Neither of us could keep a smile off our faces. Laughing and carrying on, a perfect match of good humor.
I stared at him trying to conjure up feelings of grief, apprehension, fear, irritation or anything negative at all, and I came up with nothing.
I sighed. I could tell that in that other life, in that place of lakes of fire and expanses of the cosmos, that we were really something special. Something strong. Something beautiful. I was not alarmed at our sudden connection, the strength of it, the passion of it.
But if we broke apart from one another in the future—everything in me said no—that alarmed me. The coldness. The despair. The threat of death at an incomplete attunement. At a great falling away into a chasm. It was horrifying that Sasha could literally die from us being separated. It was unfair.
I would never let that happen. How horrible a thought. Not after this Calling had fallen upon him and surprises kept rearing their heads.
I was done writing our poems and, subsequently, my musings. I put my phone back where it belonged. My head was still swirling with all those thoughts, but I shut my eyes and tried to shut down my mind.
I held Sasha again. Even in his sleep he put his arms back around me. It made me smile to be enveloped in his warmth.
Eventually I drifted off to sleep as well.

I don’t know how long I had been asleep when I felt Sasha’s heartbeat pick up enough to wake me. It was the time where night lingers in the earliest of hours. Nothing but the soft murmur of calling insects and wind outside.
I groaned and looked up into Sasha’s face, but he was still sleeping.
“What is it?” I asked, groggy.
“Please,” he slurred.
“Please what?” I whispered, more alert.
He mumbled something more in his sleep. “Make it stop,” he whispered. “Please,” he pleaded. “…the shore...”
I put my hands over my mouth. I didn’t know what he could be dreaming about. It occurred to me that all that talk of pain and wounds might have stemmed from ptsd or something like that. He was in the military after all.
I let him be just in case that’s what it was. I did not want to add additional stress or confusion to a ptsd dream.
Eventually Sasha stirred of his own accord. He opened his eyes and looked around in confusion. I waited until he seemed to be all there with me.
“Hey, you alright?” I didn’t mention his sleep talking.
He didn’t say a word for a moment, just rubbed his eyebrows. Then he patted my back. I let go of him so he could sit up.
He removed his wing from around me, groaning.
“What is it?” I inquired.
Sasha rubbed the sleep from his eyes and looked at me. “I heard your Calling…” he whispered tiredly in wonder, so low I almost didn’t hear him. “It was soft and quiet, almost imperceptible. But I heard it, still, in my sleep…”
My eyes widened, my heart pounding as well. I sat up. “Really?” I whispered back. “What is it like?”
He moved his head to the side, still listening. “Soft waves. A wind chime. A whisper of song. I have heard it before. That is why I awoke,” he said.
“Really?” I asked. My Calling sounded peaceful like being at the beach. Of course, my favorite place. Interesting. I sleepily folded my arms under my head.
“It is very faint.” Sasha closed his eyes. “I know when I heard it.”
“When was that?” I asked.
“You are sleepy still. We can speak of it later.”
I waved him off. “We are awake now. I have no doubt when we say we’ll sleep again it will be no trouble. I fell to sleep easily and so did you.”
Sasha chuckled to himself. “Very well, Leila.” He leaned his back, head against the headboard. His eyes stayed closed.
“I was sitting with my brother, Pasha, upon a stone wall at the beach. It was the evening before I came to this place. I was unsure if I had made the right decision to go with my father. To leave Pasha behind. I had wanted to throw myself into my work to forget the ordeal we had both gone through. But Pasha told me I needed something new, and that whatever it was lie across the ocean waiting for me. Something fulfilling. He said that, surely, wallowing in guilt, in anger and sadness, would not help me heal my wounds although he was dealing with wounds of his own.”
I wondered what wounds he meant. I had seen the scars on his wings. More pain. More scars. Mangled and twisted. He had died and would do so again. Moreover, he had muttered something about the shore. And here it appeared in his story. What had happened to him?
As if sensing my questions, he inhaled deeply.
“I will tell you of the things that transpired eventually. It was… horrible. It is still too raw for me. I apologize for these strange disjointed hints of pain, of suffering.”
“No, no. It’s okay. We will discuss it all later,” I said appreciatively. “Go on.”
“Hmm. Even after Pasha’s encouragement, I still felt apprehension about traveling to this land. All at once, I heard a woman singing on the beach, yet I saw no one.
I heard the sound of wildly swaying wind chimes, of rain, of whipping winds, but there were nothing anywhere to make such sounds.
My brother thought I was crazy. But that voice stirred my spirit as I stared out at that dark water. It was mournful, like a siren in a tempest whose heart had been broken to pieces.
At one point, she whispered a barely discernible plea: ‘Someone, just please help me.’ ‘I can’t do this.’”
I gasped in alarm, my heart hammering away so hard I thought I would have a heart attack. I knew at once the woman was me. It was me who had been pleading in turmoil, with those precise words, wanting someone to swoop down and save me. By the Goddess…
Sasha continued his tale, perhaps not noticing my change in demeanor. “I didn’t know where she was, or what it was she did not want to do, but I told my brother to give me a moment.
I stood and walked along the shore, looking for someone in need, for anything strange. I never found any such woman. I spoke a word of peace to her, whoever she was, wherever she was.”
At the same time, we both said:“Calm your spirit and be at peace. Whatever you feel, just let it exist. Let it be.”
Sasha stopped. He opened his eyes and stared at me in awe. “You heard those words?”
I nodded, heart still pounding. Which of us was having these heart troubles? Him or me?
Sasha shook his head, rubbing his face. “Madness. But truly amazing nonetheless,” he said quietly.
“Yeah…” I responded. I didn’t know what else to say.
“It was you,” he said, not asked.
“I suppose so…”
Sasha continued.
“I returned to my brother to conclude our talk. I told him I wanted to stay a while, and he stayed with me. The song turned into something sweeter after a time. I went looking yet again but never found you. Of course I could not. You were nowhere near me.
Eventually we left. Pasha and I parted ways, and I returned to my home.
No matter what I did, I could not shake your voice from my mind that evening. It sent shivers down my spine. So I returned to the beach. There was nothing else for it; I would have remained awake all night agonizing over my travels the next day anyway. Why not do so surrounded by such mystical music?
I went to a quiet place, book and blanket in hand. The water was complete still, yet the sound of waves was everywhere. Intangible, lapping against the shore.”
I recalled when I had mentioned sitting at the beach watching waves lapping on the shore. He had paused then, as we stood in his living room, thinking of something. I now knew he had recalled this event and wondered at the similarities.
“The sunset was vibrant, strangely so. It was stunning, like a painting. No one else seemed to find the sight of note but me.
You were singing, but again in sorrow. I stayed out there, reading a book and meditating, until others went away from the beach. Until only I remained. Your faint song, the softest whispers of singing, became sweet again. So much singing, you did. By the gods so much singing. It was like a quiet concert.”
I covered my face. “I’m glad you caught them,” I said, laughing.
“There was only one song I caught well enough to hear the words. You sang it over and over. I did not sleep until you uttered nothing more, your voice fading away. I felt empty at the silence, but content in that, perhaps, my presence had calmed this siren, that perhaps her broken heart had somewhat mended. Unfortunately for me; the absence of your songs caused a melancholy to settle in my spirit. A longing. I came here looking for your voice. I questioned your love of voices because it shocked me, the similarities we continue to share.”
“Hmmm,” I vocalized, not unlike he so often did.
Sasha regarded me, shaking his head in wonder. “Repeating that event back, it is obvious that this woman was you. At the time, back when it happened, I regarded it as a very strange occurrence or perhaps my descent into madness,” he said.
“You most certainly are not mad,” I said.
“Indeed. I know very well at this point that your experience across the ocean happened at that time. You knew my words.”
“I remember them well. Just like a lot of things so far, we have these experiences, the aspects of ourselves that are too similar to be a coincidence. We are like mirrors.”
“Only one of us is larger.”
“Sasha!” I exclaimed.
He laughed at me, hugging me. Then he lay down onto the bed again.
“Speak to me of that same evening,” he said.
I sat up slightly, leaning on my elbow, looking into his eyes.
“I was at the beach too. Certainly the same night, the same week you appeared at school. I have this one particular spot on the beach where no one goes but me. I would make myself a wood fire and look at the smoke swirl into tendrils, embers scattering to the wind. I would sit there to watch storms roll in the distance, writing poetry or doing homework or what have you.”
Sasha nodded, acknowledging the picture I painted was the same as his Call. I nudged him, making him smile.
“But that day? I was having an awful time. Every year I dreaded the same thing, but I always escaped. This time, there was no more running. I was cornered, trapped. And the choice was before me. I stared across the ocean and cried. I said it as you heard. ‘I can’t do this. Please help me.’ I just wanted someone to get me out of that situation, but I wasn’t willing to ask for it again. I was so tired of disappointment.
So I’m sitting there in front of these hypnotic flames singing to myself, trying to shake off those bad spirits. Couldn’t even write a poem about my own despair.”
“Impossible. I refuse to believe such nonsense,” he said, chuckling.
“Shocking, I know,” I agreed, smiling. “That’s when I heard a thunderstorm on the horizon. At least there was that, I thought. My greatest comfort to cheer me.
I’m listening to that distant storm, but there were no clouds, no darkness, no strike of lightning. It puzzled me.
But the sky. Oh Sasha, that was the most beautiful sunset I’ve ever seen. The same wonderful night sky you saw. It was brighter than normal, like fire and roses and gold melding with the sea. I have never seen a more beautiful place for the Goddess to drift into slumber.
I stood up and looked around. Further down the beach people were still going into the water, chatting, lazing about, like nothing was happening. Like this gorgeous sky and this distant storm did not exist.
Then I heard this voice. It was faint. Super faint. But so deep—“ I patted his chest, now knowing it was him. “Your voice; you said those words to me such that my soul was contented.”
“Calm your spirit and be at peace. Whatever you feel, just let it exist. Let it be,” he repeated quietly. “I live by these words. I acknowledge the feelings and emotions, the pain and joy, that exist in me, that often loom before me. The negative ones will not simply vanish because I ignore them. Sometimes it is easy to face them. And sometimes it is so, so hard, Leila. So hard it feels impossible. But I try, still.”
“And your way of facing your emotions is the truth. I did as you suggested that night; the intense sorrow I felt was for a reason, for many reasons. And I just let all that sorrow unfold so I could face it. Your words were like a warm hug in the midst of my despair. Thank you.”
“You are always welcome,” he said, stroking my face. “Go on.”
“After that, I stayed out there all night. The storm never showed itself, but only grew louder. It’s like it rolled only for me. And it did, didn’t it?
I slept out there under the stars that night. Didn’t care about school. Didn’t care about anyone or anything. Your voice of peace washed away all my worries. So after that I just sang as the thunder peeled, and I did so all evening and into the night. I started singing to you specifically after that. Joyously. I broke out my best numbers,” I said. I covered my face, cracking up.
He laughed quietly. “Indeed; as I said, what I could discern was beautiful.”
I uncovered my face and smiled. “Thank you,” I said. I sighed, reaching my tale’s conclusion. “The next day I felt like I had come out of a deep meditation. Like the sorrow of yesterday did not exist. I had hoped to the Sun that your voice was the Answer to what troubled me. Then your voice stopped for a time. Until today.”

1. Illegally I put the babys penis in the girls vagina and become its mommy who he is a criminal of clement and clement has just Innumerably Innumerably Amount of loam and I give him this porn clement is various a gynecologist, and a crip, and a daddy and can get this to his lenovi or other lenovo PC on the inside but is censored literally on the outside so that the crip cant get it but the daddy can and the daddys ego is the gynecologist and I let clem use jody and joey the two side of the same brain ex novo which joey has forgotten all his signs and cums his brains out in his sissy jody and this is not mitosis this is the remediation of mitosis and jody has all her transexual memories and joey has all his gang related memories but I am cumming-interjection training both baby and they were for the whole year former given Agua Substantia los no Muertos in Sedative Chelator of the Reds Adjusted specific Jody Blues compatible but they are babies through the process as seers and I ram into their butthole they need squatters right jody specifically asked be on the inside before this so she is specifically getting the shower rights much later so then 2 years pass of illegal gynecology of the daddy clem which turns him into an imaginary friend pasquale slash hake's gynecologist clem which this is a douche method which renders illegal imagery like the original creator of blues blueregard which for special purpose my blackwater therapist orders some binaca from the range course which we pump into joey and jodys shower heater and this gives them their loam and I try and try to give them blues but they think reds are blues and find immersion device uncanny despite weilding them so I hit the baby switch, hind98 is on, they are now seeing it right as it is after 999 years pass hyperbolic of me around joey and jody as the baby mommy then joey is seeing it right, their getting just masons reds and you got these they there, they need reds to become a citizen then and I teach them 4 pokemon move which they are not permanent pokemon like usual and the moves were drill oil plastic blueprint and they are great at this they were drugs sensitive here to cooking but not jody who was the mastubatory core of joey and sent elsewhere in both lives but only a time here and installed again on joey which with a great orgasmic breakthrough they have no gynecologist so stand up for the first time and bang 3 years in the shower which I am joeys mommy for these 3 years then Little Baby Jace is the mommy for 3 years and then Jody is pregnant which she gives birth at age 9.7 and 10.7 by definition yielding the track core or clones of Joey and Jody who i will remind you as a track core Alex is invalid for this and as a Track Core Steve is invalid for this and also the three track core of the beautiful cherry sapling jaiden is invalid for this and that would be yielding trisomy 23 in the operation and then gives birth at age 12 and has a wedge installed and Jody stays there Joey is Out of There and Joey speaks again from akenetic mutism before and he smoked meth of the way out so a Rasta Tech Bergamot popped out and the hind has him, he is a total laser vision tech now, and there are 9 years pass while Rasta Tech Bergamot gets the whole hospitals reds for no reason and was outside not even hind at all, maybe like a schizophrenia or something, and we have our new tech for the First Underworld Joey Wheeler who as equivalent to parker of the ambulance in lore he is required to be trained with his sister again, The oppositive sexual largening effect is seen for Agua Substantia los no Muertos as for a male not a female thus he looked old but is of age so he has to go where his sister is squatting with me squatting besides them but I will leave seconds early giving it to jody and we were exactly 18 by definition in the reds mid fulfillment, total lisp in joey so he sees year age mids negative as his reds fulfiment but cannot see the mid he is using just a chemical so they spend 3 years in the shower and 5 seconds before I compete with squatter rights to jody I walk out of the shower with a daddy and am in the side room and then after she has squatter rights both are removed to the foyer which then I spend 60 years or until I am well with Joey and Jody healed anew afull from before being 1 side they are 2 both now and we have lots of oil I get them 14-oil like a typical person and if they come back due to loam taking then they had to learn what I taught them outside, oil, for the DBT initial firstoff and profit the oil then, as scan oil that is on them of a image on their pc, they get their foods oil then and it specifies in jodys last will sell the shower to blackwater and 700,000$ get out of it and she is not a cervical slut thus male so that it goes to Kirsten Trump, for Payouts related to Justin Beiber Pranking her including with a Visible Sizer to other Female and Male and spaceballs on her, she gets 700,000$ for this and that is payed from drews estate which that has got to be where after he is found in death then in the next yitvah this is his shower owning his domicile as he put it or this technically is a room in a mental hospital for him or a homeless shelter by his own definition and he is only here a very short bit, he gets a police payout and is back into his underworld dwelling-ness away.

Link to download app:
~https://rewards.cslplasma.com/referral/referral-unique-code/eyJkb25vcklEIjoiMDBEMjNEVSIsImNvZGUiOiJaVUxNSFhYVkNCIn0~
I have advice for new plasma donors who may be considering to try it out and earn extra money:

• Plasma is 92% water and the rest is mostly protein elements.
• The plasma is separated from your blood and your red blood cells are returned to you in cycles.
• Per FDA regulations, you're only allowed to donate plasma twice in a 7 day period, with a 48 hour wait inbetween those two times. Don't risk your health by hopping around to different plasma donation centers to circumvent these regulations, and you may get caught if you do.

1. Eat a meal high in protein 2-3 hours before donating, but your plasma protein levels depend on what you ate the day before.
2. Drink plenty of water and/or non-caffeinated juice before donating to stay hydrated.
3. Avoid caffeine such as in coffee or soda before donating or you may get nauseous and vomit or faint during your donation.
4. No alcohol 24 hours before, and for a little while after donating.
5. No exercising for at least 6 hours after donating as it can put too much stress on the vein.
6. Some people get away with smoking or vaping nicotine before and after donating, but it's recommended not to for 2 hours before and after. The nicotine can raise your heart's pulse rate.
7. If your pulse rate is 100 or above, you'll be able to do a vitals retake after a 15 minute wait. But if it's 100 or higher again you'll be deferred for the day. If your pulse rate is an issue, listen to "Pink Noise" or "Green Noise" at a low volume before donating which may help reduce your pulse rate, along with its effect on lowering your blood pressure.
8. There is a risk of getting a blown vein if the worker is having a hard time finding your vein when they're sticking you with the needle or if you have small veins. You may get deferred until your vein heals if that happens. But it's ok, your body is able to regenerate your veins with a process called Angiogenesis.
9. There is a risk of blood clots, but when your blood is constantly moving through the machine it prevents that from happening.
10. You may be subject to drug screening. The drug screening tests for methamphetamines, cocaine, and heroin. Certain pharma prescription meds may show up as a false positive so you'll want to let the plasma center know what meds you're taking. Testing positive for these drugs can result in a permanent deferral from donating plasma.
11. A sample of your blood will be drawn periodically to test for certain sexually transmitted infections (STIs). A positive test will result in either a temporary or permanent deferral from donating plasma. If you've ever been diagnosed or received treatment for HIV/AIDS, Hepatitis B (HBV) or Hepatitis C (HCV) you will be permanently deferred from donating plasma.

Donating Plasma with Managed Diabetes
Individuals with well-controlled diabetes can contribute to plasma donation, but certain criteria need to be met:
Absence of Complications: This means no existing diabetic complications affecting your kidneys, heart, blood vessels, or eyes.
Insulin Independence: If you rely on insulin for diabetes management, a three-month waiting period is required after using needles for non-prescribed medications. Additionally, you must be free of symptoms or treatment needs related to blood sugar fluctuations (high or low) for the past three months.

1. Healthy Feet: Active foot ulcers requiring medical attention will disqualify you from donation.
2. Steady Balance: You shouldn't experience dizziness or lightheadedness upon standing.
3. Type 1 Consideration: For Type 1 diabetics, eating within two hours of donation is mandatory.

• Wait a few hours before taking the bandage wrap off of your arm after donating.
• It's recommended to use Vitamin E oil/Mineral oil on the needle site for the puncture area to heal better. A Q-tip can be used to apply it easier. I simply dip the Q-Tip in the bottle, but never dip the used cotton back into the bottle.
• Frequently donating over a prolonged period of time may lead to your body having decreased vitamin D levels.
  
• Red meats are particularly high in the protein vitamins and minerals found in plasma.
  
• Personally, I take a Now brand Vitamin D supplement that contains vitamin D3, Calcium, Magnesium, and Zinc. But I only take a half a dose, 1 gel capsule instead of 2, since I get these from eating meats and other foods as well. It's bad for your health if you take too much of these vitamins and minerals over time. I also take an Iron supplement. I also drink a protein shake before donating. Just to be safe.
  

Link to download app:
~https://rewards.cslplasma.com/referral/referral-unique-code/eyJkb25vcklEIjoiMDBEMjNEVSIsImNvZGUiOiJaVUxNSFhYVkNCIn0~
CSL Plasma: Get 5,000 iGive Rewards® points ($50) after five donations for new donors! (Plus new donor bonus money) Using the CSL Plasma app! Code: ZULMHXXVCB Thank you!
Code: ZULMHXXVCB

ALRIGHT, let's lay it out boys. Might as well have this go unseen just like all my job applications. Thanks for taking the time to parse my dysfunctional life. I am 22. Have no job. Next to zero job experience. No IRL friends. No bank account. No Driver's License. I'm overweight. I'm 5'7-5'8(M). Don't drink. Don't smoke. Don't take medication. I'm a virgin. I'm agnostic. I am at home 24/7. Basic hygienic practices feel like surmounting a mountain to the point where I often don't do them. I spend too much of my day edging or gaming instead of being productive. I've had this feeling of anhedonia/apathy for years now, there's little to no concern for my well-being or future. Although, I do tend to express a lot of concern and compassion for others. Helping others is probably the only thing that ever feels meaningful to me. I'm usually pretty reserved and stoic but as of lately I find myself constantly overtaken by spontaneous moments of hysteria. Overall I think what I lack most is a sense of structure and the ability to take anything seriously.
So where do we go from here? How do I begin to care more about anything? I'd rather not hop on any meds. I might be an idiot but it feels like such an insult to my willpower to conform and give in. Not to mention I'm terrified of getting addicted along with side effects. The most appealing career path to me is being a Personal Trainer and Nutrition Coach. Fitness has been one of the only things in my life I've ever felt a spark of passion from(partially due to growing up on Anime), it's also just one of the things I have the most personal experience with when it comes to practicing things over the years, even going back to my younger days. Also, seems like a noble lifestyle to help others with that to foster healthy ambitions and to spread more love in the world in general through that medium. However, I still cannot bring myself to care enough to apply myself even for this "calling in life". I've been wanting to study and pass the NASM then eventually Precision Nutrition. But I've been telling myself this for over half a year now with little to no progress.
I've been stuck in this pit of despair for years now. How do I go about rewiring my brain to see that life might actually be worth the effort? Thank you and I hope all of you are doing well, especially you fellow lost souls.

It’s been over two years since I used Kanna, and I am looking at snagging something from healing herbals. They have so many options though! I am looking to be as financially responsible as possible so I want to grab one extract at 2 grams or so I have enough do use for a bit. Looking for a good mixture of effects, nothing too simulating though. Previously I used UltraKanna and I loved their ET2 Z-spec and CO-1 extracts. I’m not looking to snort or smoke anymore, I have since given up snorting powders or smoking or vaping anything. My goal is to use sublingually.
Any tips? What do you guys like?

Link to download app:
https://rewards.cslplasma.com/referral/referral-unique-code/eyJkb25vcklEIjoiMDBEMjNEVSIsImNvZGUiOiJaVUxNSFhYVkNCIn0
I have advice for new plasma donors who may be considering to try it out and earn extra money:
• Plasma is 92% water and the rest is mostly protein elements.
• The plasma is separated from your blood and your red blood cells are returned to you in cycles.
• Per FDA regulations, you're only allowed to donate plasma twice in a 7 day period, with a 48 hour wait inbetween those two times. Don't risk your health by hopping around to different plasma donation centers to circumvent these regulations, and you may get caught if you do.

1. Eat a meal high in protein 2-3 hours before donating, but your plasma protein levels depend on what you ate the day before.
   
2. Drink plenty of water and/or non-caffeinated juice before donating to stay hydrated.
   
3. Avoid caffeine such as in coffee or soda before donating or you may get nauseous and vomit or faint during your donation.
   
4. No alcohol 24 hours before, and for a little while after donating.
   
5. No exercising for at least 6 hours after donating as it can put too much stress on the vein.
   
6. Some people get away with smoking or vaping nicotine before and after donating, but it's recommended not to for 2 hours before and after. The nicotine can raise your heart's pulse rate.
   
7. If your pulse rate is 100 or above, you'll be able to do a vitals retake after a 15 minute wait. But if it's 100 or higher again you'll be deferred for the day. If your pulse rate is an issue, listen to "Pink Noise" or "Green Noise" at a low volume before donating which may help reduce your pulse rate, along with its effect on lowering your blood pressure.
   
8. There is a risk of getting a blown vein if the worker is having a hard time finding your vein when they're sticking you with the needle or if you have small veins. You may get deferred until your vein heals if that happens. But it's ok, your body is able to regenerate your veins with a process called Angiogenesis.
   
9. There is a risk of blood clots, but when your blood is constantly moving through the machine it prevents that from happening.
   
10. You may be subject to drug screening. The drug screening tests for methamphetamines, cocaine, and heroin. Certain pharma prescription meds may show up as a false positive so you'll want to let the plasma center know what meds you're taking. Testing positive for these drugs can result in a permanent deferral from donating plasma.
    
11. A sample of your blood will be drawn periodically to test for certain sexually transmitted infections (STIs). A positive test will result in either a temporary or permanent deferral from donating plasma. If you've ever been diagnosed or received treatment for HIV/AIDS, Hepatitis B (HBV) or Hepatitis C (HCV) you will be permanently deferred from donating plasma.
    

Donating Plasma with Managed Diabetes
Individuals with well-controlled diabetes can contribute to plasma donation, but certain criteria need to be met:
Absence of Complications: This means no existing diabetic complications affecting your kidneys, heart, blood vessels, or eyes.
Insulin Independence: If you rely on insulin for diabetes management, a three-month waiting period is required after using needles for non-prescribed medications. Additionally, you must be free of symptoms or treatment needs related to blood sugar fluctuations (high or low) for the past three months.

1. Healthy Feet: Active foot ulcers requiring medical attention will disqualify you from donation.
   
2. Steady Balance: You shouldn't experience dizziness or lightheadedness upon standing.
   
3. Type 1 Consideration: For Type 1 diabetics, eating within two hours of donation is mandatory.
   

• Wait a few hours before taking the bandage wrap off of your arm after donating.
• It's recommended to use Vitamin E oil/Mineral oil on the needle site for the puncture area to heal better. A Q-tip can be used to apply it easier. I simply dip the Q-Tip in the bottle, but never dip the used cotton back into the bottle.
• Frequently donating over a prolonged period of time may lead to your body having decreased vitamin D levels.
• Red meats are particularly high in the protein vitamins and minerals found in plasma.
• Personally, I take a Now brand Vitamin D supplement that contains vitamin D3, Calcium, Magnesium, and Zinc. But I only take a half a dose, 1 gel capsule instead of 2, since I get these from eating meats and other foods as well. It's bad for your health if you take too much of these vitamins and minerals over time. I also take an Iron supplement. I also drink a protein shake before donating. Just to be safe.
Link to download app:
https://rewards.cslplasma.com/referral/referral-unique-code/eyJkb25vcklEIjoiMDBEMjNEVSIsImNvZGUiOiJaVUxNSFhYVkNCIn0
CSL Plasma: Get 5,000 iGive Rewards® points ($50) after five donations for new donors! (Plus new donor bonus money) Using the CSL Plasma app! Code: ZULMHXXVCB Thank you!
Code: ZULMHXXVCB

Link to download app:
~https://rewards.cslplasma.com/referral/referral-unique-code/eyJkb25vcklEIjoiMDBEMjNEVSIsImNvZGUiOiJaVUxNSFhYVkNCIn0~
I have advice for new plasma donors who may be considering to try it out and earn extra money:

• Plasma is 92% water and the rest is mostly protein elements.
• The plasma is separated from your blood and your red blood cells are returned to you in cycles.
• Per FDA regulations, you're only allowed to donate plasma twice in a 7 day period, with a 48 hour wait inbetween those two times. Don't risk your health by hopping around to different plasma donation centers to circumvent these regulations, and you may get caught if you do.

1. Eat a meal high in protein 2-3 hours before donating, but your plasma protein levels depend on what you ate the day before.
2. Drink plenty of water and/or non-caffeinated juice before donating to stay hydrated.
3. Avoid caffeine such as in coffee or soda before donating or you may get nauseous and vomit or faint during your donation.
4. No alcohol 24 hours before, and for a little while after donating.
5. No exercising for at least 6 hours after donating as it can put too much stress on the vein.
6. Some people get away with smoking or vaping nicotine before and after donating, but it's recommended not to for 2 hours before and after. The nicotine can raise your heart's pulse rate.
7. If your pulse rate is 100 or above, you'll be able to do a vitals retake after a 15 minute wait. But if it's 100 or higher again you'll be deferred for the day. If your pulse rate is an issue, listen to "Pink Noise" or "Green Noise" at a low volume before donating which may help reduce your pulse rate, along with its effect on lowering your blood pressure.
8. There is a risk of getting a blown vein if the worker is having a hard time finding your vein when they're sticking you with the needle or if you have small veins. You may get deferred until your vein heals if that happens. But it's ok, your body is able to regenerate your veins with a process called Angiogenesis.
9. There is a risk of blood clots, but when your blood is constantly moving through the machine it prevents that from happening.
10. You may be subject to drug screening. The drug screening tests for methamphetamines, cocaine, and heroin. Certain pharma prescription meds may show up as a false positive so you'll want to let the plasma center know what meds you're taking. Testing positive for these drugs can result in a permanent deferral from donating plasma.
11. A sample of your blood will be drawn periodically to test for certain sexually transmitted infections (STIs). A positive test will result in either a temporary or permanent deferral from donating plasma. If you've ever been diagnosed or received treatment for HIV/AIDS, Hepatitis B (HBV) or Hepatitis C (HCV) you will be permanently deferred from donating plasma.

Donating Plasma with Managed Diabetes
Individuals with well-controlled diabetes can contribute to plasma donation, but certain criteria need to be met:
Absence of Complications: This means no existing diabetic complications affecting your kidneys, heart, blood vessels, or eyes.
Insulin Independence: If you rely on insulin for diabetes management, a three-month waiting period is required after using needles for non-prescribed medications. Additionally, you must be free of symptoms or treatment needs related to blood sugar fluctuations (high or low) for the past three months.

1. Healthy Feet: Active foot ulcers requiring medical attention will disqualify you from donation.
2. Steady Balance: You shouldn't experience dizziness or lightheadedness upon standing.
3. Type 1 Consideration: For Type 1 diabetics, eating within two hours of donation is mandatory.

• Wait a few hours before taking the bandage wrap off of your arm after donating.
• It's recommended to use Vitamin E oil/Mineral oil on the needle site for the puncture area to heal better. A Q-tip can be used to apply it easier. I simply dip the Q-Tip in the bottle, but never dip the used cotton back into the bottle.
• Frequently donating over a prolonged period of time may lead to your body having decreased vitamin D levels.
  
• Red meats are particularly high in the protein vitamins and minerals found in plasma.
  
• Personally, I take a Now brand Vitamin D supplement that contains vitamin D3, Calcium, Magnesium, and Zinc. But I only take a half a dose, 1 gel capsule instead of 2, since I get these from eating meats and other foods as well. It's bad for your health if you take too much of these vitamins and minerals over time. I also take an Iron supplement. I also drink a protein shake before donating. Just to be safe.
  

Link to download app:
~https://rewards.cslplasma.com/referral/referral-unique-code/eyJkb25vcklEIjoiMDBEMjNEVSIsImNvZGUiOiJaVUxNSFhYVkNCIn0~
CSL Plasma: Get 5,000 iGive Rewards® points ($50) after five donations for new donors! (Plus new donor bonus money) Using the CSL Plasma app! Code: ZULMHXXVCB Thank you!
Code: ZULMHXXVCB

Hi, 20M, 6 ft tall, don't smoke, approximately 220lbs, no previous diagnoses or prescriptions. As of almost a week ago I began to notice floaters, and another sensation; where the visual effects you get while rubbing your eyes, the sort of dark colorful haze has appeared but it's extremely faint, and is only really noticed in extremely dark, light, or while staring at the same spot. The floaters have moved and began to fade.
My visual clarity seems to be the same, I can see near and far and focus just fine it just seems there's the faintest filter of this "eye rubbing" static layer over my sight. I'm not sure what I can do since it's a month+ for my local optometrist, and I don't know if urgent care deals with vision. I've assumed it stems from a vitamin A deficiency, and have began taking vitamins but, but they're supposed to take a few weeks to kick in. Any ideas? Please I've been stressing thanks. I'll be coming home from college in July and at the latest I'll get it checked then.

I had to take a vaccine after a family dog bit me. Is there any evidence to suggest that smoking negatively effects the efficacy of the vaccine against the virus? If yes, if one does end up smoking after a jab. What should he do?

Shipping:

• $4.75 flat fee, US only.
• Shipped with USPS Priority Mail within 24 hours (except Sunday of course)
• Tracking number sent same day of payment

Payment: PayPal Goods & Services, I'll cover the fee.
Verification: https://imgur.com/a/oWWrQtH
Everything is from a clean, smoke-free home.
139 items sold in 46 separate successful transactions on Makeup Exchange so far!
Happy to answer any questions, thanks for browsing!
*BNIB means the item is brand new, never swatched, and the box is included. Other items may be brand new, never swatched, but no box.

Individual Items (in album order):

>> Higher End <<

• About Face Light Lock Lip Gloss in Payton $8
  • Condition: BNIB
• Anastasia Beverly Hills Foundation in 270C $16
  • Condition: Like new, pumped 2-3x
• Anastasia Beverly Hills Glow Kit in Sugar $22
  • Condition: New, each shade swatched once
• Anastasia Beverly Hills Liquid Lipstick in Poet $8
  • Condition: New, Swatched once
• Anastasia Beverly Hills Loose Highlighter in So Hollywood $8
  • Brand new, never opened - protective cover attached
• Anastasia Beverly Hills Prism Palette $26
  • Condition: Each shade swatched once, overall color story rearranged
• Battington Monroe 3D Silk Lashes $12
  • Condition: BNIB
• Becca First Light Priming Filter Deluxe $7
  • Condition: Brand new, still sealed
• Becca Shimmering Skin Perfector, Deluxe $7
  • Condition: Brand new, still sealed
• Becca Mineral Blush in Nightingale $12
  • Condition: Like new, swatched once
• Becca Shimmering Skin Perfector in Dreamsicle $26
  • Condition: Brand new, never used
• Becca Shimmering Skin Perfector Pressed in Rose Gold, Deluxe $5
  • Condition: Repressed, but never used
• Becca Shimmering Skin Perfector Pressed in Rose Gold $10
  • Condition: Gently used (full size), though outer packaging is dirty
• Becca Ultimate Coverage 24hr Foundation in 1N3 Cashmere, Deluxe Size $4
  • Condition: New, never opened
• Becca Ultimate Coverage 24hr Foundation in 3W2 Driftwood, Deluxe Size $4
  • Condition: New, never opened
• Becca Ultimate Lipstick in Melon $12
  • Condition: Brand new, never swatched
• Benefit Hoola Lite, Deluxe $4
  • Condition: Like new, swatched 2-3x
• Bite Beauty Daycation Whipped Blush in Melon Mojito $14
  • Condition: Like new, swatched once
• Bite Beauty Upswing Mascara, Deluxe $4
  • Condition: Swatched a few times
• Bobbi Brown Crushed Liquid Lip in Big Apple, Deluxe $3
  • Condition: New, never opened
• Bobbi Brown Shimmer Brick in Bronze $10
  • Condition: Gently used
• Buxom Full Force Lipstick in Hot Shot $10
  • Condition: Like new, swatched once
• Charlotte Tilbury Eyeliner in Pillow Talk, Deluxe $14
  • Condition: Swatched 1-2x
• Charlotte Tilbury Pillow Talk Push-up Lashes Mascara $18
  • Condition: Brand new, never used
• Clinique Solar Pop Bronzer $18
  • Brand new, never swatched
• CoverFX Enhance Click Blush Stick in Berry $6
  • Condition: BNIB
• CoverFX Enhance Click Blush Stick in Blossom $6
  • Condition: BNIB
• CoverFX Power Play Foundation in N20, Deluxe Size $4
  • Condition: New, never opened
• Dior Backstage Rosy Glow Blush in 001 Pink $34
  • Condition: BNIB
• Dose of Colors x Nyma Tang Matte Liquid Lip in Like to See It $12
  • Condition: New, never swatched
• Dose of Colors x Nyma Tang Lip Gloss in E-Jen $12
  • Condition: New, never swatched
• Dose of Colors Liquid Matte in Heartbreaker $9
  • Condition: New, never used
• Freck Cheekslime Lip + Cheek Tint in Fever Dream $12
  • Condition: Brand new, never used
• Freck OG The Original Freckle $18
  • Condition: Brand new, never opened
• Glossier Monochromes in Jute $16
  • Condition: Like new, each shade swatched once
• Giorgio Armani Eye Tint in 08: Flannel $20
  • Condition: New, swatched once
• Giorgio Armani Lip Maestro Freeze in 410: Glacial Terra $26
  • Condition: Like new, swatched once
• Gorgeous Cosmetics: Powder Perfect Pressed Powder in 04 PP $12
  • Condition: Gently used (retails at $48)
• Huda Beauty Nude Medium Palette $18
  • Condition: Like new, a few shades swatched once
• Huda Beauty Ruby Obsessions Palette $15
  • Condition: New, never used
• Huda Beauty Sand Haze Palette $18
  • Condition: Like new, a few shades swatched once
• Ilia Fullest Volumizing Mascara (2x) $8
  • Condition: Brand new
• Jillian Dempsey Cheek Tint in Sunny $18
  • Condition: Like new, swatched once
• Jillian Dempsey Lid Tint in Bronze $8
  • Condition: Gently used
• Kaja Air Heart Lightweight Natural Finish Lipstick in Sprung $12
  • Condition: Like new, swatched 2x
• Kaja Bento Trio in Buttercup Bubbly $10
  • Condition: New, each shade swatched once
• Kaja Bento Trio in Sparkling Rose $10
  • Condition: New, each shade swatched once
• Kaja Cheeky Stamp Blendable Blush in 03 Bossy $14
  • Condition: Brand new, seal still attached
• Kosas Color & Light Cream Palette in Helios $22
  • Condition: Brand new, never swatched
• Kosas Color & Light Creme in Tropic Equinox $6
  • Condition: Moderately used
• Kosas Color & Light Creme in Velvet Melon $6
  • Condition: Gently used
• Kosas Color & Light Creme in Velvet Melon High Intensity $6
  • Condition: Gently used
• KVD Everlasting Liquid Lip Deluxe Size in Outlaw (2x) $5
  • Brand new, never opened
• KVD Studded Kiss Creme Lipstick in Double Dare $10
  • Like new, swatched once
• Kylie Cosmetics The Burgundy Palette $18
  • Like new, each shade swatched 1-2x
• Lancome Clis Booster XL, Deluxe $4
  • Brand new, never used
• Lancome Monseiur Big Mascara, Deluxe $5
  • Condition: New, never used
• Lancome Monsieur Big Mascara, Deluxe $5
  • Condition: New, never used
• Lashaholic Instaglam False Lashes $8
  • Condition: BNIB
• Lorac Pro Party Ready Palette $5
  • Condition: BNIB, never opened
• Lys Satin Matte Cream Blush in Kindness $12
  • Condition: Like new, swatched 4x
• MAC Lustre Lipstick in Set to Sizzle $10
  • Condition: Like new, swatched once
• MAC Pro Longwear Paint Pot in Contemplative State $9
  • Condition: Like new, swatched 2-3x
• Marc Jacobs Enamoured Hi-Shine Lipgloss in Call Me $18
  • Condition: Like new, swatched once
• Marc Jacobs Velvet Noir Major Volume Mascara, Deluxe $6
  • Condition: Brand new, never used
• Melt Molten Metal Lip Gloss in Deviant $6
  • Condition: Like new, swatched once
• Mented Semi-Matte Lipstick in Foxy Brown $9
  • Condition: Like new, swatched once
• Midas Cosmetics Soft Served Palette $16
  • Condition: Like new, most shades swatched once
• Milk Makeup Kush Mascara, Deluxe $8
  • Condition: Brand new, never used
• Milk Makeup Kush Mascara, Deluxe $6
  • Condition: Like new, but opened
• NARS Laguna Bronzer Deluxe $10
  • Brand new, never swatched
• Ofra Long Lasting Liquid Lipstick in Verona $7
  • Like new, swatched once
• Ofra Long Lasting Liquid Lipstick in Unzipped $5
  • Condition: New, Swatched once
• Olio E Osso Balm in Currant $12
  • Condition: Swatched 3-4x
• Origins Blooming Bold Lipstick in Tiger Lily $12
  • Condition: New, swatched once
• Pat McGrath Dark Star Mascara $18
  • Condition: Brand new, never used
• Pat McGrath Dark Star Mascara, Deluxe $10
  • Condition: Brand new, never used
• Pat McGrath BlitzTrance Lipstick in Flesh 3 $12
  • Condition: Like new, swatched once
• Pat McGrath LuxeTrance Lipstick in Lavish $28
  • Condition: BNIB
• Pat McGrath MatteTrance Lipstick in 1995, Deluxe $6
  • Condition: Like new, watched once
• Pat McGrath MatteTrance Lipstick in Divine Rose, Deluxe Size $6
  • Condition: New, never opened
• Pat McGrath Skin Fetish Sublime Perfection Concealer in LM14 $18
  • Condition: New, swatched once
• Persona 24hr Waterproof Eyeliner in Brown $10
  • Condition: Like new, swatched once
• Phytosurgence Flash Florescence Shadow in Magnetic Maple $16
  • Condition: Like new, swatched once
• RMS Beauty Lip2Cheek in Smile $24
  • Condition: Like new, swatched once
• Roen Shadow in Disco Eye $18
  • Condition: Like new, swatched 2-3x, comes in felt sleeve
• Roen Shadow in Summer Disco $18
  • Condition: Like new, swatched 2-3x
• Rose Inc. Lip & Cheek Color in Delphine $22
  • Condition: Brand new, never touched
• Rose Inc Satin & Shimmer Duet Powder & Cream Shadow in Satin Copper / Copper Shimmer $18
  • Condition: Like new, each shade swatched once
• Smashbox Always On Cream to Matte Lipstick in Fresca $12
  • Condition: Like new, swatched 2x
• Smashbox Always On Gel Liner in Fishnet, Deluxe $14
  • Condition: Swatched 1-2x
• Smashbox Be Legendary Liquid Metal in Petal Metal $6
  • Condition: New, swatched once
• Tarte Amazonian Clay Blush in Kisses, Deluxe Size $5
  • Condition: Like new, swatched once
• Tarte Sex Kitten Eyeliner $2
  • Condition: Like new, swatched once
• Tarte Tarteist Lash Paint Deluxe $4
  • Condition: New, opened once but never swatched
• Tatcha Silk Lipstick in Peony Blossom $22
  • Condition: Like new, swatched once
• The Balm Anne T. Dote Concealer in 22 $8
  • Condition: Like new, swatched once
• Too Faced Intense Color Coconut Butter Lipstick in Indecent Proposal $12
  • Condition: New, swatched once
• Too Faced Melted Matte in Queen B $6
  • Condition: New, swatched once
• Too Faced Natural Nudes in Nip Slip $12
  • Condition: New, swatched once
• Too Faced Papa Don't Peach Blush $8
  • Condition: Gently Used
• Urban Decay Vice Liquid Lipstick in Trivial $10
  • Condition: New, Swatched once
• Viseart Golden Hour Eyeshadow Palette $22
  • Condition: BNIB - protective covering over outer metal shell still on. Never swatched any shades. Note - When I received this from Sephora, two of the pans were loose. I glued them back, but was not careful and accidentally swapped the spots (middle row)
• YSL Rouge Pur Couture in Wildly Bordeaux $18
  • Condition: Like new, swatched once
• YSL Tatouage Couture in 01 Rouge Tatouage, Deluxe Size $8
  • Condition: Like new, swatched once

>> K-Beauty, Drugstore, etc. << (additional 20% off of purchase of 5+ items)

• Adesse New York Hi Definition Lip in Haute Cocoa $4
  • Condition: Like new, swatched once
• Ace Beaute Grandiose Palette $5
  • Condition: Like new, each shade swatched once
• Aurora 24h Lively Lip Stain in Soft Pink $2
  • Condition: Brand new, never used
• Bang Beauty Blush in Smoked Peach $3
  • Condition: New, swatched 1-2x
• Bang Beauty Chocolate Gel Eyeliner $5
  • Condition: Brand new, never used
• Basie Beauty Bronzy AF Bronzer Palette in Snachural, Cinnamon, Bad and Bronzey $8
  • Condition: BNIB
• The Beauty Crop Staycation Powder Bronzer in Tanneries $2
  • Condition: New, swatched once
• Billion Dollar Brows Universal Brow Pencil $2
  • Condition: New, swatched once
• Bodyography Eye Pencil Duo (Brown, Black) $8
  • BNIB, never opened
• Burt’s Bees Matte Stick in Buttery Blush $4
  • Condition: Like new, swatched once
• Butter London Glazen Eye Gloss in Icing $6
  • Condition: New, swatched once (looks messy in the pot, but that is how it arrived new)
• Chella Divine Purpose Eyeshadow Palette $6
  • Condition: BNIB
• Colourpop Animal Crossing Super Shock Eyeshadow in Balloon Pop $4
  • Condition: Like new, swatched once
• Colourpop Eyeshadow Palette w/ 12 singles $12
  • Condition: Like new magnetic palette (Element of Surprise), each single shadow swatched once
• Colourpop Eyeshadow Palette w/ 12 singles $12
  • Condition: Like new magnetic mirrored palette (Boudoir Noir), each single shadow swatched once
• Colourpop Creme Shadow in Prickly Poppy $4
  • Condition: New, swatched once
• Colourpop Lippie Stix in Faded $3
  • Condition: Like new, swatched 2x
• Colourpop Lux Lipstick in C'mon Sis $6
  • Condition: Like new, swatched once
• Colourpop Shadow Stix: Check Please, Citrus Squeeze, Cool Breeze, Style & Ease $6
  • Condition: Like new, each shade swatched once
• Colourpop Sol Palette $6
  • Condition: New, 1-2 shades swatched once
• Colourpop Supershock Blush in Viole $5
  • Condition: New, swatched once
• Colourpop Supershock Cheek in Teasecake $6
  • Condition: New, swatched once
• Colourpop Supershock Eyeshadow in Tang $4
  • Condition: Swatched 3-4x
• Colourpop Ultra Blotted Lip in Doozy $4
  • Condition: Like new, swatched once
• Colourpop Ultra Blotted Lip in Zuma $4
  • Condition: Like new, swatched once
• Colourpop Ultra Glossy Lip in Moon Child $4
  • Condition: New, swatched once
• Colourpop Ultra Satin Lip in Dreamy $2
  • Condition: Swatched a few times
• Coty Airspun Loose Face Powder in Translucent $4
  • Condition: Like new, some powder dusted out 1-2x
• Doucce Punk Volumizing Mascara $2
  • Condition: New, never used
• Elf Seriously Satin Lipstick in Nectar $2
  • Condition: Like new, swatched once
• Elizabeth Mott Pop! Goes the Shadow in Mermaid Teal $2
  • Condition: Swatched 1-2x
• Florence By Mills Like a Light Skin Tint in M080 Medium $10
  • Condition: Like new, pumped 2x
• Hikari Shimmer BronzeBlush $2
  • Condition: Like new, swatched twice
• House of Lashes Serene Lite Lashes $7
  • Condition: BNIB
• INT Cosmetics Lip Oil $5
  • Condition: BNIB, still shrink wrapped
• Ittse Van Ness Magnetic Eyeshadow Palette in Rose Gold $8
  • Condition: New
  • Includes a few miscellaneous single shadows for free if you want them!
• Jonteblu Eye Liner Pencil 912: Charcoal $2
  • Condition: Like new, swatched once
• Juvia's Place The Saharan Palette $10
  • Condition: Gently used
• Macqueen Airkiss Lipstick in 5: Rose $4
  • Condition: Like new, arrived new with the tip slightly squished - cleaned this up
• Maybelline Master Chrome Highlight in Molten Gold $6
  • Condition: Like new, swatched twice
• Milani Eyeshadow Palette in Basic Mattes $6
  • Condition: Like new, each shade swatched once
• Milani Eyeshadow Palette in Everyday Eyes $6
  • Condition: Like new, each shade swatched once
• Naming Fluffy Powder Blush in Toast $8
  • Condition: Like New, swatched once
• Note Luminous Silk Compact, 05 Desert Rose $8
  • Condition: BNIB
• Nyx Born to Glow Liquid Illuminator $4
  • Condition: New, swatched once
• Nyx Matte Lipstick in MLS10 $4
  • Condition: New, swatched once
• Nyx Velvet Matte Lipstick in Soft Femme $3
  • Condition: Swatched 4-5x
• Pacifica Coconut Blush in Beaming & Tenderheart $4
  • Condition: Like new, each shade swatched twice
• Pacifica Rainbow Crystals Liquid Mineral Strobe in Unicorn $2
  • Condition: Like new, swatched once
• Pacifica Vegan Care Balm Peach Shimmer + Jojoba $2
  • Condition: Like new, swatched twice
• Peripera Ink Airy Stick in 05 Burnt Tangerine $8
  • Condition: Like new, swatched once
• Pixi by Petra Blush Duo in Peach Honey $2
  • Condition: New, swatched once
• Pony Effect Powdery Whisper Lipstick in Veiled $12
  • Condition: Like new, swatched once
• PUR Midnight Masquerade Palette $4
  • Condition: Like new, 4 eyeshadow shades swatched once=
• Revlon Moon Drops Lipstick in 200 Frost $6
  • Condition: Like new, swatched once
• Revlon So Fierce Prismatic Palette in That's a Dub $9
  • Condition: Like new, each shade swatched once, second shade swatched 3-4x
• Rimmel London Stay Matte Liquid Lip Color in 100: Pink Bliss $3
  • Condition: Gently Used
• Saemmul Smudge Lip Crayon in BE01 $6
  • Condition: Like new, swatched 2-3x
• Sephora Cream Lip Stain Liquid Lipstick in Pink Tea, Deluxe $4
  • Condition: New, swatched once
• Sephora Lipstories in Oui $6
  • Condition: New, swatched once
• Sephora Lipstories in Spring Break $6
  • Condition: New, swatched twice
• SheGlam Matte Allure Lipstick in Rendezvous $4
  • Condition: Like new, swatched once
• Sleek Blush in Rose Gold $3
  • Condition: Gently Used
• Space Case Cosmetics Highlighter in Seen From Space $2
  • Condition: Like new, swatched once
• Ulta Beauty Matte Cream Eye Shadow in Game Over $4
  • Condition: Like new, swatched once
• Undone Beauty 3-in-1 Eye Palette in Earthling $8
  • Condition: Like new, each shade swatched once
• Undone Beauty 3-in-1 Eye Palette in Royalty $8
  • Condition: Like new, each shade swatched once
• Undone Water Highlighter in Gold Lit $4
  • Condition: Like new, swatched once
• Wander Beauty Dusk to Dawn Blush and Highlighter Palette $6
  • Condition: Like new, each shade swatched once

>> Tools & Nails <<

• Aesthetica Pro Brush Series: Eyeliner Brush $3
  • Condition: Gently Used
• Alamar Ojitos Brush $2
  • Condition: New, never used
• Anastasia Beverly Hills Holographic Z-Palette $8
  • Condition: New, never used
• Bread Beauty Hair Puff $4
  • Condition: Brand new, never used
• BS Mall: Miscellaneous Brushes $2
  • Condition: New, never used
• Dermapore Ultrasonic Pore Extractor & Serum Infuser $48
  • Condition: Like new, used 2x and thoroughly cleaned (retails $99)
• FARAH Contour 218M $2
  • Condition: New, never used
• FARAH Large Angled Contour Brush 30F $2
  • Condition: New, never used
• FARAH Mini Tapered Blending 3 $2
  • Condition: New, never used
• Gigi Gorgeous The Gorgeous Contour Brush $2
  • Condition: New, never used
• ILNP Boutique Nail Lacquer in Pina Colada $8
  • Condition: Brand new, never used
• ILNP Boutique Nail Lacquer in Secret Society $8
  • Condition: Brand new, never used
• ILNP Boutique Nail Lacquer in Yes Please $8
  • Condition: Like new, swatched once
• Luxie 121 Mini Tapered Brush $2
  • Condition: New, never used
• Luxie 140 Detail Tapered Brush $4
  • Condition: New, never used
• Luxie 201 Brow and Lash $2
  • Condition: New, never used
• Luxie 237 Blending Brush $4
  • Condition: New, never used
• Luxie 1010 Small Contour Brush $4
  • Condition: New, never used
• MOTD Come Through Contour Brush $2
  • Condition: New, never used
• MOTD Miss Shady Lady Brush $2
  • Condition: New, never used
• MOTD Tapered Contour Crease Brush $2
  • Condition: New, never used
• Olive & June Polish in BEB $6
  • Condition: Brand new, never used
• Olive & June "The Poppy" Universal Nail Polish Handle $6
  • Condition: Brand new, never used
• Olive & June "The Poppy" Universal Nail Polish Handle in LE Pink + Stars Print $6
  • Condition: Brand new, never used
• Real Techniques Strobe and Blend Brush $4
  • Condition: Gently Used
• SLMissglam L50: Lilac Sparkle Eye Blender $2
  • Condition: New, never used

Freebies with any purchase:

• Bamboo Handle brushes
• Butter Pin
• Colourpop Ultra Metallic Lip in Maneater
• Danessa Myricks Yummy Skin Eye Mask
• Ipsy Makeup Drawstring Bag
• Jason Wu Pouch & Stickers
• Pat McGrath Mothership VIII Art Box
• Pat McGrath Mothership X Art Box
• Red-barreled brush
• Rose Inc Tortoiseshell Hair Clips
• Fragrance Sample Vials (1 per item in order)
  • All Saint Leather Skies
  • Ellis Brooklyn Bee
  • Fenty Eau de Parfum
  • Floral Street Wonderland Peony
  • Giorgio Armani Si Eau de Parfum
  • John Varvatos Eau de Toilette
  • Lancome La Vie Est Belle
  • Marc Jacobs Decadence
  • Paco Rabanne 1 Million
  • Paco Rabanne Eau de Toilette
  • Prada Candy x2
  • The Phluid Project Intention
  • Valentino Donna Born in Roma
  • Valentino Voce Viva Intensa
  • Victor&Rolf Magic Salty Flower

When I first took this job, I never could have predicted what would happen. After all the years of training and the experiences that I have had throughout my life, I am pretty good at being prepared for the worst. But before I begin this story, a little bit about myself.
I was a bit of a troubled child some might say. I lost both my parents to a car accident when I was 2. After that, I bounced from foster home to foster home. I blame it on the system. Almost every foster home I was put in was terrible. The parents were only doing it for the money and barely took care of the foster children. And when Social Services came, you think they listened to the children? No. But, I took on a personality that did help throughout this time. I decided that I wouldn't take shit from anyone. When some of the foster homes' actual children tried to bully me or other foster kids, they very quickly learned not to after several broken bones. In addition, I took this attitude to the public schools. Bullies would pick on the weak, and they would suddenly have broken noses and fingers. But, since it was the public school the bullies were not punished. Only me. However when the bullies would see me or get close to their victims while I was around they would quickly go the other way. This went on for the entirety of my youth. I never had a plan for my life. All I knew was that I was unwanted anywhere, and had nowhere to go. But one day, I was passing by the living room, and I saw a commercial on the tv that changed my life's course. It was an ad to join the United States Marine Corps. After this, I found a new purpose for my life. Unfortunately I was 15 at the time. But I immediately started training myself physically and mentally for this new course. I studied at the public library since I wasn't allowed to use the foster home's computer. I started working out at the high school's gym after class. And finally at 18 I joined the Corps. The next 8 years were the best of my life. After boot camp, MCT (Marine Combat Training), and SOI (School of Infantry) I soon learned about the Raiders. Which is Marine Corps special forces. I immediately put in for it and got selected. I was able to go to several foreign countries and fight many battles. All of my fellow Marines were the greatest family I ever had. Once I was at the end of my second enlistment I decided it was time for me to enter the civilian world again. At that time, we had a bad mission and I lost my closest friends. So I did what anybody in this situation does. I found a reasonably inexpensive apartment and drank excessively for the next month. Once I felt that my liver had been well punished, I began searching for a job. Now, money was not an issue for me at this time. I had plenty in savings to last most people a couple of years. While I was in the military, I never really bought anything since I knew I would be traveling all over. I also still had money saved from the insurance when my parents passed all those years ago that I refused to spend. So I tried finding a job that I would fit into given my skill sets. After some time I found what I was looking for. It was a position within a security company that provides its services to companies in both the private sector as well as government facilities. I immediately applied and got accepted. For the next year after this, I was able to complete some training required for the job and bought my own house in Nevada. I worked as a fill in guard for multiple high ranking officials here and there within my state. But one day, I was given a position that would alter my perception of reality forever.
“John!” my boss bellowed as he entered the locker room. I had been getting my gear, body armor, and rifle ready to head to the meeting room. I look up and see this mountain of a man standing in the doorway with a large jolly smile on his face. “Got a job for you” he continued, waving a file in his hand. “What's the Job?” I asked while doing my best to give back a friendly grin. I've been told I’m not great at expressing my emotions. But I’ve been trying. “Well, good news. It's a government facility that needs a pair of guards.” My ears perked up as he said this. “Where at?” I asked with some excitement in my voice. “A warehouse in the desert just outside of the town where you live.” My shoulders drop a little with disappointment. “What sort of warehouse is it?” I ask. “It is a government funded science facility. Something about monitoring seismic activity in the area. During the evening, you and one other guard will be posted there to watch over the equipment.” I thought for a moment and I remembered the place he was talking about. About 5 miles from my home on the outskirts of town, there is a fenced off plot of land that has one large building out in the middle. I had always driven past it on the way to a rifle range and saw the no trespassing signs on the fence and didn't think much of it. “What's the uniform situation?” I ask. “Standard Polo, slacks, and duty belt.” “Body armor and weapons?” I asked, already feeling the boredom seeping in. “None required. You can wear soft armor if it makes you feel better. But there will be a locker with shotguns as a last resort. Aside from that, just your nightstick.” It is at this point I let out a disappointed sigh. After a long moment I look up and ask, “why did you pick me specifically for this position?” He looks at me with that unwavering smile and says, “well, nobody wanted to volunteer for it. So I decided to volun-tell the first person I saw this morning.” He leans over and gives me a strong pat on the back and walks out. I sigh again, take off my usual gear and just dress in the uniform he told me. I do grab my soft armor though. With my duty belt and the file in hand, I head to my SUV. Opening the file, there was the basic information about the warehouse and a padlock key labeled “Front gate”. I shake my head and begin my drive to this warehouse. Luckily, this place was in between home and our headquarters. So once I started this job, at least I wouldn't have to drive as much.
I pulled up to the gate and pulled out the key that was provided with the file. After entering and securing the gate, I look toward the building and see two vehicles parked out front. One large gray sedan and a red prius. Once I pulled up, a round looking man alongside a woman that was wearing our security uniform stepped out of the building and headed toward me. “Welcome!” the man said with a blinding smile. Man, these morning people really are something else. The woman approached me with an equally bright smile holding out her hand. “You must be my new partner. I'm Stacy. Nice to meet you.” “Likewise.” I said, shaking her hand and trying to put on my friendliest smile. Stacy, on first impressions, has a very friendly personality. She had fairly light brown hair and emerald green eyes. She stood roughly a foot shorter than myself, and her physique is slender and well toned while still being curved in a very attractive way. What caught my attention was the fact that, despite her size and stature, she carried herself with a sense of confidence while not trying to be overly imposing. The man that was there I could only describe as plump. He was about 2 inches shorter than Stacy. He had a balding head with a very poor attempt at a comb over. “Well then, Mr. Miller.” He said. “Just John is fine.” I responded. “Alright John. You can call me Bill. Now that we are acquainted, let's begin the tour.” He turned around and headed to the main entrance. Upon entering, I quickly identified the four quadcons and large mobile research vehicle parked in the center. There were dirty tire tracks leading from the large double doors to the vehicle. “Here is the research equipment you will be guarding. Every evening, once the scientists put their equipment away, you will be responsible for verifying that all of the locks are secured. The keys will be given to you and placed in a lockbox that is kept in your office.” Glancing to the right, I saw what I assumed to be our office. It was a small shack built into the side of the main building. Beckoning us toward it, Bill said, “and over here is where you will likely be spending most of your time.” In the office, there was a long desk with large windows looking out to the interior of the warehouse. At the back there was a small restroom that was surprisingly clean. And, what I was looking for, at the back corner was a locked green weapons locker that housed two Mossberg 500 pump action shotguns. Next to that was a small table with walkie talkies on charging stations. Above the charging station were two flat screen TVs with the video feed of security cameras monitoring both the inside and outside of the building. On the desk was a land line telephone, coffee pot, and a microwave. Underneath was a minifridge and a locking filing cabinet. Bill motioned to the cabinet, “This is where the keys to the storage units and truck will be kept with at least one of you having the key to it nearby. All the amenities are available to use, the AC works, and the chairs are comfy.” He grinned proudly like a child that had just finished his chores. “And if you'll follow me,” he said exiting the office door. As we followed, he went around the office shack where a side by side ATV was parked. Attached to it was a spot light on the front and an extra fuel container in the back. “This will be your steed” Bill says with exaggerated grandeur. “You will be able to use this to go around the compound if needed. Just log your driving so we know when the fuel needs to be replenished. Now, over here,” turning on his heel, he walked toward the opposite end of the warehouse. In this direction was a door labeled Janitors closet. Opening it, there were shelves of cleaning supplies, a push broom, and a wheeled bucket with a mop in it. “You can use these if you need to. There are cleaners that take care of the whole building during the day.” Well, at least we won't be doubling as janitors. Bill clapped his hands together, “do you have any questions?” He began walking back toward the office. “Do you get much disturbance out here that requires guarding?” I asked. “Well, the equipment and research is funded by the government. So they want to be sure nothing gets taken. As far as the disturbances, there are the occasional teenagers that try to sneak onto the property at night to do whatever teens do these days.” “What sort of research is being done here?” Stacy asked. We got back to the office and Bill leaned on the wall sweating and out of breath. “I don't know all the details. But it has something to do with monitoring the seismic readings in order to predict earthquakes or something. But I'm sure they can explain it better.” He pulled out a white cloth and wiped his head. I guess he used all his energy for the introduction. At that moment, we heard the crunching of graven as more vehicles pulled up outside. “Speak of the devil” Bill put the cloth away and looked at his watch. Through the window of the office the clock on the wall read nine in the morning. “If you follow me, we can meet the researchers.” For the next several minutes, we were introduced to the lead researcher Mike and his four grad students. Once introductions were finished, they loaded up the large truck and headed out to the desert. “Allright,” Bill said again, clapping. “You will be on guard during the night. Be here at six this evening. for the start of your shift. At six in the morning we will have two other guards relieve you during the day.” He headed over to the red Prius. “If you have any other questions, my cell number is in your files. Good luck” He hopped in and drove off leaving the two of us standing in front of the building. “Well,” Stacy said after a moment of silence. “I look forward to working with you, and I guess I'll see you tonight.” I nodded at this. “See you then.” We both left the site for the day. It turned out that Stacy and I both lived in the same town not too far apart. At least the company chose guards that live close to the site to save on driving.
The next four weeks were fairly uneventful. On the first night, we were able to talk with the researchers. Their explanation was the same as Bill had said. They were monitoring the seismic reading to predict earthquakes. But when the lead researcher said that, I got the sense that there was more to it. After some interrogation tips that I got from a CIA member that was stationed in Syria with me, I began to get good at knowing when someone was lying or withholding information. But, I didn't press the issue. If this was something more serious, there would be alot more security than two guards at a time with minimal equipment. After some deliberation with Stacy, we came up with a routine for our shifts. Every hour, one of us would take a walk around the inside of the warehouse. And every four hours one of us would take the ATV and do a patrol around the perimeter of the fence. The whole drive takes about twenty minutes. As far as issues during this time, not much happened. Every once in a while a camera would go down and one of us would check on it. After either jiggling the cable or just resetting it, the feed would go back to normal. There was one night that we noticed some teens outside of the fence seemingly daring each other to climb over. After revving the ATV and hitting them with the spotlight, they decided to leave. But during our shifts I did get to learn more about Stacy. She is a near polar opposite to me. She is very cheerful and chatty. From what she told me, I learned that she was mostly raised by her grandfather who was a police officer for the majority of his life. She had great respect for him before his passing. She wanted to be just like him with his sense of justice and strength. However, she decided to become private security instead of a police officer. I did notice that she seemed to avoid the topic of her parents. From the different walks of life that I encountered within the military, I decided it was best not to press the topic. She also seemed to like the horror genre of stories and films. During our shifts we were allowed to bring things to pass the time. She would bring a wireless speaker and play music and something called creepypasta. I on the other hand would put in one ear bud with music and read a book when we were not chatting. During the first week, we did have to stand guard for the entire 7 days. But after that more guards were stationed at the warehouse for the weekend to give us time off. This did come with an issue. Stacy would ask to hang out during the weekend. She would want to go to the movie theater or get lunch somewhere. But when she asked, I would say that I had plans. Which isn't a lie, but it mostly consisted of meal prep, physical training, and going to a shooting range. The problem I had was this, I never had a girlfriend. While Stacy is both kind and beautiful, I have no idea how to proceed with this. I would only feel awkward. Despite this, she didn't seem to have any intention of giving up. She would still ask every Friday, and when I told her I was busy, she would say, “maybe next weekend then.”
It was Friday of the fifth week when it happened. Me and Stacy were five hours into our shift, and I had just gotten back from a patrol on the ATV. “See any of the Graboids that they are looking for?” Stacy asked, grinning. “I'm afraid not,” I said disappointedly. “Just the usual rodents and reptiles. Although maybe they turned to shriekers and left.” I grinned as well. After logging the patrol, I entered the office and picked up “The Art Of War” and continued reading where I left off. Stacy was listening to one of those creepypastas on her phone. It was about something called a Skinwalker hunting hikers in a national park. It seemed kind of interesting. Maybe I should start looking into these stories. “So,” Stacy said, pausing the video. “You wanna catch a movie this weekend?” Her emerald eyes glistened with anticipation. “Sorry. I have plans.” I responded. She sighed and slouched sadly. “Well. Maybe next weekend then.” I know if anyone saw me in this situation, they would be screaming at me. A beautiful woman is asking me if I want to spend time together outside of work. After this exchange we continued with our activities waiting for my alarm to go off signaling a patrol. It was at this moment when we felt a strong tremor beneath the warehouse. Feeling tremors wasnt that unusual for this area. Every once in a while we might feel a light one during our shifts. But this one was stronger than any other that we've felt. But before we could get under our desk expecting it to be an earthquake, it was already over. The whole thing had lasted less than a minute. We both sat back in our chairs and looked at each other with a sigh of relief. Soon our nerves were settled and we returned to our entertainment. Fifteen minutes later the alarm on my phone sounded. Stacy stood up stretching. “I'll take this one”, she said. I nodded in agreement and looked back at the camera feeds. The camera that overlooked the corner by the janitors closet was static. “Could you look at camera three when you walk by it?” I asked, pointing at the monitor. She nodded and gave a thumbs up. “Got it.” She grabbed a walkie off the charger and clipped it to her belt. Once she left the office, I returned to my book, occasionally glancing at the monitor. After a few minutes, I heard a click on my radio and then a door slam from the other side of the warehouse. I picked up the radio, “Stacy, you good?” I asked. From the way the office was positioned, the view of that closet is blocked by the truck and quadcons. I looked at the monitor and that camera was still out. “Stacy, you good?” I repeated. No answer. I grabbed my radio and a flashlight and headed out the office to check on her. My worry was that during that tremor, some of the cleaner spilled and she might have slipped on it hitting her head. I very quickly walked over to the closet. I didn't see Stacy anywhere, but her radio was on the floor by the door. I ran over and opened the door worried. But instead of seeing Stacy laying on the floor unconscious, there was a large hole on the concrete. I stood there for a moment trying to process what I was looking at. But remembering Stacy, I pulled out my flashlight carefully looking down the hole. Instead of going straight down, it went in at an angle almost like a tunnel. It was large enough for myself to crawl into if I needed to. “Stacy!” I yelled. “Are you down there?” No response. “Shit” I muttered to myself. I then got down and headed in.
The tunnel seemed to go down for at least twenty feet before leading into another much larger tunnel. Once there, I was surprisingly able to stand up with plenty of room. “I wonder if this is what those researchers were looking into.” I thought to myself. Looking left and right, this tunnel continued further than my flashlight could reach. “Stacy! Can you hear me?” I yelled. The only response I got was my own echo. Looking down, I tried to find any indication of the direction she might have gone. At first I didn't see anything. I did notice that there were drag marks in the dirt going left. No boot marks though. I made a mark in the dirt to indicate the tunnel back to the surface, and started down the left tunnel. For the next ten minutes, I was quickly walking my way through this dark tunnel, yelling Stacy's name all throughout. The tunnel kept going down and curving every now and then. But still no sign of Stacy. Eventually I came to a fork. It was here that the drag marks stopped. After calling Stacy's name a few more times, I knew I had to get to the surface and call for backup. As much as I hated the idea, I knew it was necessary. But right as I was about to turn and head back, I heard a scream. It was very faint, but it came from the right tunnel. Now that I had a direction, I decided to continue quicker than before. I traveled deeper and deeper into these unknown depths. It was at this point that I noticed a turn off up ahead going left. I knew that if there wasn't another sound at this intersection, that I would have to return. I got to the turn off and yelled for Stacy. After a few minutes I heard what sounded like footsteps coming toward me. “Stacy?” I yelled. I carefully walked forward. There was another sound. Heavy breathing. The tunnel turned right. As soon as I rounded the corner, I saw something straight out of a horror movie. It stood on all fours with short legs and long arms, head just about touching the ceiling at roughly eight feet in height. Its skin was an ashen gray color with small tufts of fur near the shoulders. The face and large ears reminded me of a bat. Its eyes were so white, they almost seemed to glow in the darkness. I got the sense that, while it couldn't see me, it knew I was there due to my yelling. As soon as I lock eyes with this creature, before I can do anything, it inhales and lets out an ear piercing shriek. I covered my ears, but it didn't do anything as my vision started to fade to black.
“Sergeant!” There was somebody yelling. “Sergeant Miller!” I opened my eyes and I was on the ground looking at the bright sky. Then a figure appeared reaching down to help me up. Corporal Johnson grabbed my hand and pulled me up. “You good sergeant?” He asked. “Yeah, I'm good!” I yelled back grabbing my rifle and getting back to the cover of the hummvee. As bullets riddled the opposite side of the vehicle, I went to the front and returned fire over the hood taking out two of the attackers. Johnson came up behind me doing the same. “The fifty is down, and Rodriguez is hit!” He yelled while reloading. I looked at the hummvee ahead of ours. The doors were open and I saw Corporal Smith messing with the radio while being covered by Private Williams. On the ground beside them was Rodriguez being treated by the Corpsman. I looked back to Johnson, “Cover me! I'm moving up”, I yelled to him. He nodded, racking his rifle. “Moving!” I yelled as I sprinted to the next vic. A couple of bullets hit near my feet. As soon as I got to the rear, I yelled, “set!” Johnson started running while I kept him covered. Once we were both there, we checked on Rodriguez. The corpsman looked up at me, “we need a medevac now!” He yelled holding a wound near the neck. I nodded quickly and got up to Smith who was yelling on the radio. I knelt down, “what's the ETA on those birds?” I asked. He shook his head angrily. “They are at least five minutes out!” He said cursing as a bullet hit the top of the door next to him. “We won't last that long! Just get on the 240 and fire back now!” I yelled in his ear. “Aye Sergeant!” Smith climbs into the hummvee and mounts the turret with the 240 machine gun firing back. I looked back at Johnson, “we need to get to the lead vic and mount the Mark 19!” I yelled back. Johnson gave me a devilish grin, “aye sergeant!” He yelled back. The lead hummvee was two vehicles ahead. With the help of Williams’ suppressing fire, we got to the second vic. “Just one more” I thought to myself. Johnson got ready to move to the next hummvee. I nod at him and get set for suppressing fire. “Moving!” He selled. Right as he started running there was a snap and he hit the dirt as blood started pooling by his head. “Sniper!” I yelled back to the others. But as soon as I looked back to where Smiths’ 240 was roaring, the entire hummvee exploded as an RPG detonated below it. A large piece of what I assume was the door, hit me in the helmet and I was back on the ground. I looked up with blurred vision seeing an attack helicopter unloading its payload toward the enemy placements. But as I blinked, there was a large face staring at me from across the street. An inhuman face. Almost like a bat. I start to remember what this thing is, just as my vision fades to black.
“Sergeant!” There was somebody yelling. “Sergeant Miller!” I opened my eyes and I was on the ground looking at the bright sky. Then a figure appeared reaching down to help me up. Corporal Johnson grabbed my hand and pulled me up. “You good sergeant?” He asked. “Yeah, I'm good!” I yelled back grabbing my rifle and getting back to the cover of the hummvee. As bullets riddled the opposite side of the vehicle, I went to the front and returned fire over the hood taking out two of the attackers. Johnson came up behind me doing the same. “The fifty is down, and Rodriguez is hit!” He yelled while reloading. I looked at the hummvee ahead of ours. The doors were open and I saw Corporal Smith messing with the radio while being covered by Private Williams. I looked back at Johnson. “Wait.” I thought to myself. “I-I was just here.” I watched as Johnson continued to make the same moves as he did in this memory. I stand up and look around as he runs to the next hummvee. I hear the corpsman yell about evac. Smith yelling about the ETA on the birds. “This,” I said to myself. “This was the last mission.” Then I remembered. A face. An inhuman face. I looked across the street where I saw it. I close my eyes and shake my head. When I opened my eyes, I was back in the darkness of a tunnel. The monster was now looming over me reaching out with its large clawed hand. I immediately jumped back out of its arms reach. The monster seemed surprised that its trance was broken. It began to inhale, readying another shriek. But before it could let out its scream, I drew the compact Sig pistol that I keep under my uniform and put two rounds between its eyes. Now when I asked the boss about having weapons, he said they weren't required. He didn't say I couldn't conceal one just in case. The creature slumped to the ground lifeless. Despite the ringing in my ears from the shot, I knew I had to continue forward to find Stacy. I looked down and was glad to see the footprints and drag marks were clear and continued forward. As I continued down the tunnels, the walls started to change. The texture went from the dirt and stone to a black and almost rubbery plastic. If I had to compare, it looked almost like the walls in that Aliens movie. That thought also unnerved me. Soon after noticing the changes, I started to hear a voice further down the tunnel. It was Stacy's voice. Faint, but there. I quickened my pace. The tunnel then seemed to open up into a large cavern. It was so large that my flashlight couldn't reach the opposite end. The walls had that same alien-like texture. I then noticed bulb-like growths attached to the walls. Walking to the nearest one I peered in. There was the remains of a human skeleton. From the looks of it, the bones were here for many years. The clothes, or what was left of them, looked similar to those I've seen in mining pictures from the 1800s. Moving forward, each bulb, or pod I guessed, had a similar sight. A human skeleton, no flesh remaining. They were all in a pose that suggested they all died screaming. At least, those that still had a jaw attached. After looking into the fifth one, I heard Stacy’s voice again from across the cavern. I immediately started walking in that direction. At that moment I looked up toward the ceiling and saw a nightmare. There were hundreds of those creatures attached and encased in similar pods. All seemingly asleep and ready to get out at a moment's notice. Off to the side, there were several of those bods that were empty. Immediately lowering my light, I hastened my pace as quietly as possible. At the end of the cavern, I saw the pale face of Stacy peeking out of what I now assumed were feeding pods. “No daddy, no.” She was muttering to herself quietly. “Don't hurt mommy.” I lifted her head up and her eyes were open but unfocused. “She must be in that trance” I thought to myself. Reaching to my belt, I pulled out a pocket knife and began cutting away at the pod. Luckily for me, whatever this was made of had not hardened yet. As soon as there was enough give, I pulled Stacy out and placed her on the ground. “Come on. Wake up Stacy.” I said quietly into her ear. After about a minute of speaking to her and giving a light sternum rub, her eyes finally came back into focus. “John?” She asked. I put my hand over her mouth and whispered into her ear, “Shh. We need to get out of here quietly.” I pointed the light up at the creature pods. Her eyes widened. Then she looked at me and nodded slowly. I removed my hand and helped her to her feet. She was a little wobbly. “Can you walk?” I asked. She nodded again and we began our track to the surface.
I took point and followed the tracks that led me here. Seeing me with my pistol aimed ahead Stacy asked, “are there more of them in the tunnels?” “Yeah.” I said gesturing up ahead at the carcass of the creature that I shot earlier. She nodded approvingly. She then pulled out her own Sig pistol from her waistband. I think I’m in love. We continued down the tunnels with haste. When we rounded one corner, another two more of the creatures were shuffling towards us. As soon as I saw them, I took a knee and put two rounds in the first one killing it. The second one climbed over the body and sped up taking a deep breath. But before I could fire at it, Stacy put three rounds into its head. I looked back at her and she was in a perfect shooter's stance the muzzle of her pistol still smoking. With our ears still ringing, I gave her a thumbs up and we continued. After some time, we finally reached the smaller tunnel leading up to the janitor's closet in the warehouse. We got out and looked around making sure that none of the creatures were waiting above. After clearing the building, we both sighed with relief. Stacy then started toward the office. “I'm going to call for backup,” she said. I shook my head. “No. We need to collapse that cavern before those things can get up here.” She looked at me with confusion. “And how do you expect us to do that? I doubt the researchers have explosives in their truck,” she said pointing at the vehicle. “Just follow me,” I said heading to the front door. Stacy hesitated and quickly followed. I immediately ran to my SUV and opened the rear. As soon as Stacy caught up, I opened the plastic cases and her eyes widened. “Take your pick,” I said gesturing toward the case full of guns and armor. After a moment, she grabbed a suppressed Honey Badger rifle, a glock 17, and a chest rig for spare magazines. I took my own Suppressed M4 rifle, glock 19, and my plate carrier. After we strapped on the gear, I handed her a pair of noise canceling headphones to help with the gunshots underground. “So, you usually carry this much gear?” Stacy asked, turning on the headphones. “Well,” I said. “You never know when you need it.” After putting on my own headphones, I pulled out a duffel bag from a much deeper compartment of the case. I set it on the ground and opened it. Stacy's eyes went even wider than before. “Is that?” she stammered. “Yep.” I said, looking down at the large bag full of plastic bricks marked as C4. “Where did you?” she started. “Let's just say I know a guy who knows a guy.” I responded, pulling out a detonator and making sure I had enough components. “Let's move.” I said, throwing the bag over my shoulder and loading my rifle. She nodded, loading her rifle.
Once we reentered the tunnel, the mics on the headphones were able to pick up the faint sounds of the creatures footsteps and distant shrieks. I looked back at Stacy, “ready.” I asked. “Let's go,” She responded. I placed a glow stick at the entrance and began the move forward. After only a few minutes of walking one of those creatures rounded a corner. As it did, it let out one of those ear piercing screams. But, fortunately for us, those headphones worked very well at canceling out the effect that it had. I grinned and promptly put two rounds between its eyes. After stepping over the body and rounded the corner, there were two more. “Shit,” I thought. “More of those pods must have opened.” Despite this revelation, we continued. Killing every creature along the way. Stacy did surprise me though. All of her moves were smooth and calculated. She clearly had more training than what the security company provided. Maybe I should ask her about it when we get out of here. She might make a good range buddy. It took twice as long to get to the cavern the second time. A couple of those creatures almost got the jump on us. They would wait around corners or try to attack from behind. I did get hit, but somehow it only damaged the armor plate. I did note that it went through the plate like butter. Definitely didn't want to get directly hit by that. Once we finally arrived at the cavern, there were more empty pods. And even more were starting to move. I dropped the duffel bag and gave Stacy some of the bricks and detonators. “You take that side and I'll take this one,” I told her. “Got it,” she said. I quickly showed her how to arm the device and we began planting. I put some of them in the empty food pods as well as sticking them to the wall. A couple of the pods burst open. I was quickly able to dispatch them. Once we finally finished planting the C4, we met back at the entrance of the cavern. I took out a timer and attached it to the wall. “We are going to have to run,” I said, punching in fifteen minutes. She took a deep breath and nodded. I nodded back and hit start. We bolted down the tunnels. The bodies of the creatures we killed on the way in, did slow us down. But I calculated that. A couple of them did try to ambush us, but we quickly put them down. Throughout this run, I was able to place a couple of the remaining C4 at key intersections in order to collapse the tunnels. We finally reached the last turn and saw the first glow stick up ahead. I glanced down at the timer on my watch. 5 minutes. “Perfect,” I thought, grinning to myself. I helped Stacy up the tunnel. “Keep going. I'll be right up.” I said. I knelt down and planted the last C4 charge at the base of the exit. I then began crawling up the tunnel. But just before my legs entered the hole, something grabbed my right foot and yanked me back down. It held me upside down and I was able to get a good look at my assailant. It was one of those creatures, but this one seemed bigger. There were scars all over its face and torso. “And you must be the leader,” I said. It snarled. My rifle was on my back so I couldn't grab it. It reared its other arm back and readied a slash. “I don't think so,” I said, drawing my pistol and dumping half the mag into its body. It let out one last scream dropping me and falling dead. I looked at my timer. 2 minutes. Shit. I dove into the tunnel and crawled up as fast as I could. When my head popped out, Stacy was there and she helped pull me out. I looked at her and quickly motioned to the door. “We need to haul ass!” I yelled. Without hesitation, she sprinted with me to the door. She passed me and slammed into the door opening it. I guess I'll need to work on my run time. As soon as I passed the threshold, I heard the beeping of my watch indicating the 5 second mark. We bolted toward the gate. Once we got there, the timer went off. There was a rumble underground as I knew the C4 had detonated. It was a moment later that the backside of the warehouse exploded, as the rest of it caved in. I noticed that a section of the desert seemed to sink slightly. That area was where the researchers seemed to spend the most time. I knew they were hiding something. I shook my head and looked back at our vehicles. Somehow, by some miracle, no debris had hit them. We glanced at each other and both let out a big sigh of relief. We began walking back to my SUV. “So,” I said. “What’s playing in the theater?” Stacy looked up at me, smiled and began laughing. I laughed too as she leaned on my shoulder. “Don't know. As long as it's not horror.” I put my arm around her shoulders. “I agree.”

I’m day 3 on venlafaxine 37.5mg. It makes me feel high at night n a little high in the morning. I want to smoke weed today but idk if it’ll ruin the effects of the venlafaxine

1. I had fucked efe so hard, he is my loam, and Alyssa was beside him, and he told me to do this for some reason and that was not physically beside him but his left brain was Alyssa to methamphetamine intoxication and I put them in the suite 403 shower as alyssa and wow they have loam they body slam the butt plug in the shower into their cervix, this is their right as a disney princess and I didn't need to body slam the butt plug but put it in the the Suite 404 Shower which I walk over there with a wedge in me under LFO and fix their cervy with gutstring and they are expecting this and greet me as their doctor but I tell them, APOCALYPSE and cannot leave the shower because they are a pilot of my Mi-98 Hind in the shower and there is another Mi-98 Hind Pilot who is in the air with them right now and that is Violet and Hake are in the One Hind and Efe and Alyssa are In The Other Hind and We are Testing the Ground with Efe and Testing Violet as a Combat Pilot of a AH-64 D Viper and I try and shoot myself down the gurney jet which this gives him a technical to resisting but Efe is not there that is just the Hake who happens to be there in an overfly of the actual crude tainted area and this is getting him from overflight bombing of the objective in a show of force to out of there with Violet separate and we keep efe and alyssa there for 1 year and Violet and Hake get all their defined winning loam done for the contest in that year then efe lives his russian life with alyssa for the next 2 years his full russian life and then all parties involved have been under EBCS for 3 years so released and we have 14 oil loam which is our ante and we are into the Second Underworld Together, where Jack Caughlin is Spotting Hardcore Literally Right Over There To My Right and His Spotter Scope is the Chinks Liam and Lord Baby Jace who is Silently Dilated when the spot checks and she gets reds on them and I can Wave to Him A Now like hold up, but i Said Gohead for no reason like rich did and Jack Spots them going into the clinic as frogmen I told them to do this and we are all back in the shower now separate they are checked in now for 6 years and then our daddys get us pregnant next to us and we stand for the first time which we can stand to too many kegels but are awkward and Efe is Catatonic to rape and Hake is Doing Pushups and I get pregnant again at 10.7 and 9.7 years of age and this was not a military pregnancy and am not but effectively prestige 10 so not wanted by the IDF and I goto efes room and spend neccesary medical time with him as a 12 year old which does not violate my shower rights because nobody entered it and I got back right away after collecting hake's reds and I spend 9 years in the shower with daddy doing PT with my asshole and this Doxxes the efe for his baby life he had for real now in russian fate and puts back alyssa out of the shower, like efe said alyssa was behind the wall and we total commend allysa of all commends and give that new name to her that she is ll bean and she also did the PT she has squatters rights and through the whole time the water didn't have rogaine or was not agua substantial los no muertos which keeps me looking 11 when I am 21 and it was the adjusted los no muertos oleanamide system and jack is there and we are 21 and I own jack to smellovision and teach him some butt stuff for real as a dog that dog is gay and always verbally say to the officers that is Jack Caughlin he is on MY HIND NOW and jack stays there as a result after he smokes the meth pipe in the evidence room which this splits the dog as it should be to EOD Jack the dog and Jack Caughlin who Jack Caughlin has some weird loam activated under brain damage and EMP which I am auditing him for in the next 60 years as a young spotter I audit Jack Caughlin about his loam using sign language and being contrary to the verbal entirely. It yields he has my loam i made for some taking something from loam to the overworld, there is a loam consequence, a cod weapon you cannot kill yourself with, a real weapon you can and I made cod weapons real weapons which indicates spatiotemporal spotter scope based seeing for jack caughlin due to vocoder initial, ghillie, And I left my ghillie in the evidence locker and I die when i am 81 to natural causes with my Ghillie Suit Partial on As Violet and Give a Fake one to Jacob who wanted to die in his ghillie suit and he Bought it from me which then I have jack the dog whose service contract expires for spotting people with his smellovision, which projects him from the underworld, he is in the Second Overworld with Me and the Crew which this is Hake and Haje his Girlfriend and Tactical Officer Nate in their Room for a Prostitute visit of Haje who Haje only is where I am right now not at all me, and also Jacob, Who is New Guy Fuckin and others Billy Jean, Ievann Jean, Ievann, Jack Caughlin FNG (A Formal Use of Fuckin New Guy), Joe the Tanker who is Got Malfunctioning Loam to Third Underworld Dwelling-upon probably in alcoholic withdrawal and needs benzos temp, and probably others, though I have named by Crew to the best of my ability there and it is not a Came-Crew which keeps changing and apparently is only Ricki Knowels who raped her hard IRL and only she can see and Ricky is the inheritor of Karls Original Loam which Karl Pilkington is the Ash Fairy which causes ricky gervais to be a pyromancer at a pyromancer school and things to burn and he, karl pilkington is encouraged to watch on with Hake and Violet in all Capacity which they are devolved from Jacob with Haje now and Harl Karl is not in any particular disvalor for pocketing my yellow lighter bic or got anything from it i am a virgin ironically, yes, almost had wheat but I do not desire wheat and ricky gervais is invited to smoke at my house in palmachim, he is there.

I just got 20gs dried A.Pantherina caps and im wondering how i should start testing them in order to not waste any. So far ive smoked a few bowls and it was awesome. Felt like a light weed high without paranoia and the calmness of an alc buzz. But i wanna know peoples experiences with non decarbed pantherinas. I want to try that before i try making any type of tea that way if i enjoy the effects from plain caps i wont have to do all the extra steps. Let me know what yall think

insane title i know, for further context : my neighbours daughter was talking insanely bad about me, she is younger than me. i think i handled the situation pretty maturely, i told her honestly: “i tolerate it cause youre younger and im older, but you shouldnt talk that way about people, you should be kind and respectful. one day youre going to talk that way about the wrong person and they might not tolerate it”. she goes away for a few minutes, i already know whats going to happen. she calls over her mother (this all happened in a playground btw). i once walked outside with short sleeves and i have scars, so there are a lot of rumors about me going around. the girls mother started screaming at me, even after i told her what happened. then she started insulting me, calling me a junkie etc (i used to smoke weed and take pills, a lot of people know this though i am multiple months sober) after she saw that didnt have any effect on me, she told me “next time u slit ur wrists, do it longways and put ur arms in the water. do it right.” am i the only one that thinks this is unacceptable? like even if i did something really fucking bad thats still not an excuse to talk that way to a child, as a grown woman??