Bible verses about friends leaving

DepthHub: A jumping-off point for deeply-involved subreddits

2010.03.30 21:42 DepthHub: A jumping-off point for deeply-involved subreddits

DepthHub gathers the best in-depth submissions and discussion on Reddit. You can use [the DepthHub](http://www.reddit.com/useLappem/depthhub) as an alternative front page with high-quality discussion and inquiry.
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2008.05.27 06:57 Catholicism: All about the Catholic faith

/Catholicism is a place to present new developments in the world of Catholicism, discuss theological teachings of the Catholic Church, provide an avenue for reasonable dialogue amongst people of all beliefs, and grow in our own spirituality. Catholic Christianity offers the world the fullness of the Christian Faith.
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2014.06.15 04:05 marhavik Christianity supplemented with psychedelics

For Christians who take psychedelics for spiritual growth and to strengthen their faith.
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2024.05.19 01:47 Fluffy-Walk-7027 A new mentality

My ex and I had a very messy 1 year relationship. He was incredibly narcissistic and toxic, he made me distance myself from my family and was very selfish. He also cheated on me many times with his ex. He was also a relationship hopper who did not love himself and did not know how to be alone. I tried to help him many times and took him to therapy but he just did not want help.
Despite all of this, he helped me understand my depression and he made good music that really helped me heal.
The last time he cheated on me was with someone much younger who he met on tinder. I left and never looked back. I blocked him on everything and despite doing this before, we could never keep no contact. But this time I was determined to do so. It was incredibly hard because I cared so deeply for this person and it hurt knowing he was with someone else. They moved in together after 2 weeks and this is when I cut ties.
It took me a good 8 months to forget he existed.
3 years later.. out of the blue, I get an email from him asking if we could speak. I didn’t really want to as I know how manipulative he can be and my friends all told me no, but something in my heart was telling me this was different.
I was SHOCKED he reached out because he has an ego the size of Texas and so I never expected him to contact me.
Something seemed so off.. He called me crying (something he never did) and he apologized for everything he put me through and tells me that I was the only person who truly accepted him for who he was and his deepest regret was treating me the way he did blah blah I didn’t take too much of it to heart as I know how manipulative he can be.
Regardless, I told him I forgave him a long time ago as I truly don’t hold space in my heart for hate or resentment and that I just hope he is now being a better person to others.
We planned to meet face to face a couple of days later.
The day came and he never showed, I texted him but he never replied. I got a call that same day from him at stupid o’clock but I was so mad that he stood me up, so I didn’t answer. I couldn’t believe I was made a fool once again and I fell for his antics.
Well, little did I know that he passed away that night. His pain and regret for the things he did was too much for him to face.
As I spent the next couple of years grieving him, I learned that I actually loved and cared for him more than I thought I did and so did he. At his funeral, I had the chance to speak to his mother who always supported us and who also tried to help him to change. She told me that they did have to go through all of his things with the police, including his phone and computers. I was shocked to hear about how many songs, poems and messages expressing his love and regret. I never thought he actually cared about me at all.
This taught me that you should never underestimate the hole your absence will leave in someone’s life. However, you must give them space to miss you. Sadly, men only learn value via losing.
On the other side, protect your peace, guard your heart and forgive yourself. Apologize to them if you need to, cry if you need to and let it go.
His family kindly allowed his demos to be uploaded onto Spotify for me and his friends to listen to.
If you’re ever wondering if he misses you, of course he does but people miss people dead or alive, it’s nothing new.
Whoever you meet, always try to leave them better than how you found them - and I don’t mean baby them or try and change them - what I mean is, SHOW them, using your actions, how people SHOULD be. No matter how bad of a person they are, always be kind, always be patient, always forgive (but you don’t need to forget) - you may ask why, as some people really don’t deserve it, but please understand that you might be the closest thing to love someone will ever experience.
I hope this made sense ❤️
submitted by Fluffy-Walk-7027 to ExNoContact [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 01:47 Grumpy_bard I don’t want to tell my mom I’m pregnant with my second

Here’s the thing. I have not talked to my mom for some time, aside from empty “happy mother’s day” gifs from her followed by her usual “much love” texts (never I love you). When I had my first, she offered to “help”, but I refused knowing that would go poorly. But she did weird shit when she was visiting, like ditching us during his first Christmas because I had lunch with my friends for two hours a few days prior while she was in town for a couple weeks, or getting jealous because I needed to leave somewhere early because my son needed to go home so she pouted and insulted me in front of people later and told me to “take a joke.” She was so self-absorbed and deliberately hurtful any time I took time away from her, but obviously my baby comes first and the fact she doesn’t get that is completely befuddling to me. So now I’m in a dilemma. My first is just shy of three and I’m pregnant with my second. I do NOT want to tell my mom. I really don’t want her anywhere near us, actually. Should I just say “fuck it? You don’t get to be a part of my kid’s lives?” I can’t help but feel guilty about this, too. Any thoughts? Anyone else going through this?
submitted by Grumpy_bard to raisedbynarcissists [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 01:47 cubensisgratitude61 (20F)how to confront (M19) hikikomori that mess in his room caused a roach problem?

My (20f) friend wanted me to ask on Reddit for her as she isn’t a redditor like me. She , 20F, who a roommate, M19, that doesn’t clean up after himself. The mess is usually contained in his room, the mess is bad, really really bad. Things like from reusable bags, expired food, soda cans, and he refuses help from anyone. He doesn’t help out with chores and leaves trash bags to collect dust. He doesn’t wash dishes or upkeep the house at all. He lives a hikikomori lifestyle and this had led to there being a bad roach problem in the apartment. All places where there are roaches have been by his door.We are aware of mental health issues possibly being at play or something deeper but how is my roommate supposed to address the problem. He keeps keeps to himself and is other wise a nonconfrontational roommate. There is even a bed frame that was not built that partially blocks his door from being used properly. They moved together and haven’t really spoken as he is very anti-social and spends all of his time in his room. He said he prefers text over actually speaking. My question is how can we keep it civil and respectful without coming across as nosey or nitpicky?
TLDR: (20F)how to confront (M19) hikikomori about mess that has caused a roach problem?
submitted by cubensisgratitude61 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 01:44 United-Error-5336 [UPDATE] WIBTAH for going on a family trip when my bf told me not to…

Not sure if anyone cares for an update but...
The reason this whole predicament and Reddit post came about is because my friend and I found out she planned a weekend trip to a theme park with him (this weekend.)
When up until now we thought they were still not speaking because last we heard (May 6) he had removed her and her sisters off everything when they were keeping it cordial. We honestly thought she was finally out after all this time but he crawled his way back.
She said they spoke after work last night and she decided to stay with him. He still is NOT okay with her going on the trip so she is still saying she won't be going. She hopes by the time the trip comes around in June, he will change his mind. I can assure you she has read hundreds of your guys comments but, is continuing to make excuses for him and defending him based on some of the same comments.
My friend and I tried talking to her again this morning after we got the "I'm still going with him this weekend" text. My friend and I are sad for her and we really hope she realizes how much more she deserves and gains the strength to one day leave and never look back.
I'm not sure if there will be another update but if there is, it will probably be about if she did end up going on the upcoming trip in June and if it's because he ended up "letting her" or because they broke up again... thank you everyone for your comments and those who private messaged. Have a good weekend everyone!
submitted by United-Error-5336 to TwoHotTakes [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 01:43 absolutelyunsure_ Is it generally acceptable to ask for space from pregnant friends sharing details of their pregnancy?

I posted earier today in another subreddit sharing my story about having a recent miscarriage and then having my sister-in-law announce her pregnancy a few days later.
Original post: https://www.reddit.com/TryingForABaby/comments/1cuy68t/just_need_to_vent_about_this_impossible/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
She did not know about my miscarriage and I let her give her announcement and share any/all details and excitement for a few hours, including watching a video of my MIL finding out she’s going to be a grandma before leaving for the night with a smile and congratulations. At no point did I give any indication that anything was wrong and I was engaged in the conversation. I then cried the whole way home.
After making my post on Reddit and getting so many kind words and support, I decided to reach out to her via text this morning with a very carefully worded message explaining I am so immensely happy for her, but I just had a miscarriage a few days ago and we coincidentally had the same due date. I asked for a bit of space and for her to not share too many details with me during this time while I process everything, and reiterated that I am NOT asking her to not talk about her pregnancy. Just to try to keep “the baby is as small as an orange seed” and conversations like that to a minimum if possible.
I said again how excited I am for them and how sorry I am to ask this - I repeated that I would not be telling them any of this unless I felt it absolutely necessary to protect my heart.
She did not take it well at all. She replied that it is “completely unacceptable for them to share the biggest news of their lives and not even 24 hours later I tell her that she can’t share the details of her pregnancy.” And that it made her “so so so sick to her stomach” that I would text that to her.
I’m at a loss. I feel horrible for ever telling her, but at the same time, I told her because I imagined she would have even a shred of empathy and understanding. I apologized for telling her and offered to call her so we can make sure we get any weird feelings squashed. She said “a phone call is not necessary. Everything has been said. Have a good weekend!” And ended the conversation.
I’m just…baffled? Did I do something wrong by sharing this with her? I have told no one else aside from my best friend, so it’s not like I’m stealing her spotlight. I’m just so disheartened and grossed out by the response.
submitted by absolutelyunsure_ to Miscarriage [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 01:43 AbaloneAmazing6149 Abusive nonprofit CEO being protected by board

I'm a nurse practitioner in a small nonprofit community health center that also functions as an emergency room for our rural community. It's run by a CEO, who reports to a volunteer board of directors. The board has an executive committee of three people, and the CEO uses clinic money to take the executive committee out to dinner every week, and flies the entire board to go on a retreat every year at a cost of tens of thousands of dollars to our struggling clinic.
The staff universally detests the CEO, and until recently, I thought that he was only bullying and insulting staff, which is obnoxious, but not criminal. Lately, he has been giving lots of unwanted attention to a 17 year old who works at the clinic front desk, including cornering her when she's alone in rooms, pulling her pigtails when he's standing behind her in the grocery store, and telling her on the day of prom that she should call him when she gets drunk for a ride. She told him that she doesn't drink, and doesn't want a ride from him, but he insisted over and over that she needs to call him when she gets drunk.
Every single one of the 23 staff members at the clinic, from the lab, to the front desk, providers, and nurses, has had enough. The medical director sent an email to the president of the board, telling her that all of the staff are requesting a meeting with the board, without the CEO, to tell them how awful it is working here. She gave details of his grooming of the 17 year old, and inappropriate comments that he made to the medical director.
Instead of scheduling an executive session of the board to listen to the staff's concerns, the executive committee of the board hired a lawyer who is now contacting several staff members to hear our stories. The three executive members of the board did not inform or involve any other board members in their response. The staff would prefer if the investigation was done by an independent group, rather than a lawyer chosen by the board, as we don't know whether the lawyer is independent, or is being hired to protect the board's friend, the CEO. The executive committee initially emailed the staff to tell us that the CEO is on administrative leave, which seems like it would be the appropriate response, but then a few hours later, wrote to "reassure" us that he is just working from home, and is available for whatever we need him for.
The staff really don't feel safe working in the building while the CEO is there. We have talked about things like going on strike with just one provider and one nurse in the clinic for emergencies (there's no nearby emergency room), going to the local newspaper, and filing complaints against the clinic with agencies that fund us, like HRSA.
We'd appreciate any advice about what steps might be helpful, and also about how much we should engage with the board's attorney.
submitted by AbaloneAmazing6149 to AskALawyer [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 01:43 juanitasdiner 5 Top-Rated Steakhouses in Wildomar, California 2024

Welcome to the scenic city of Wildomar, California, where the serene landscape and welcoming community create the perfect backdrop for a culinary adventure. If you're a steak enthusiast, you're in for a treat! In 2024, Wildomar is home to some of the finest steakhouses in the state, each offering a unique dining experience that will leave your taste buds begging for more. Whether you're a local or just passing through, here's a rundown of the 5 top-rated steakhouses in Wildomar, California, 2024. Get ready to indulge in juicy, flavorful cuts of beef that are cooked to perfection!

The 5 Top-Rated Steakhouses in Wildomar, California 2024

1. The Rustic Fork Steakhouse

The Rustic Fork Steakhouse, a local favorite, has earned its reputation as one of Wildomar's top-rated steakhouses. Nestled in the heart of the city, this charming eatery combines rustic decor with a modern twist, creating a cozy yet upscale atmosphere.

What Makes It Special?

2. Wildomar's Steak Haven

For a more intimate dining experience, head over to Wildomar's Steak Haven. This hidden gem is known for its warm, welcoming atmosphere and exceptional service.

Why You'll Love It

3. The Butcher's Block

The Butcher's Block is where steak lovers go for a hearty, no-frills meal. This steakhouse prides itself on delivering high-quality steaks in a laid-back, casual setting.

Highlights

4. The Urban Cowgirl

If you're looking for a modern dining experience with a touch of Western flair, The Urban Cowgirl is the place to be. This trendy steakhouse combines contemporary decor with classic steakhouse charm.

What Sets It Apart?

5. The Golden T-Bone

Last but certainly not least, The Golden T-Bone stands out as one of Wildomar's top-rated steakhouses thanks to its exceptional quality and impeccable service.

Reasons to Visit

FAQs About Dining in Wildomar

What are the must-try steaks at these top-rated steakhouses?

Each steakhouse offers its own specialties, but some must-try steaks include:

Are reservations necessary?

While not always required, making a reservation is highly recommended, especially during weekends and peak dining hours. This ensures you get a table without a long wait.

Do these steakhouses offer vegetarian options?

Yes, most of these steakhouses offer vegetarian dishes or sides. The Urban Cowgirl and The Rustic Fork Steakhouse, in particular, have a variety of vegetarian options.

What is the dress code for these steakhouses?

The dress code varies:

Are these steakhouses family-friendly?

Absolutely! While some might have a more romantic or upscale atmosphere, all the mentioned steakhouses welcome families and offer kid-friendly menu options.

Conclusion

Wildomar, California, might be a small city, but it's big on flavor, especially when it comes to steaks. In 2024, the 5 top-rated steakhouses in Wildomar are setting the bar high for culinary excellence. Whether you're in the mood for a rustic, intimate dinner at Wildomar's Steak Haven or a vibrant night out at The Urban Cowgirl, there's a steakhouse in this charming city that will cater to your cravings.
So, what are you waiting for? Grab your friends, family, or that special someone and embark on a steak-filled adventure in Wildomar. Bon appétit!
submitted by juanitasdiner to u/juanitasdiner [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 01:43 lukatsucurry silly talks

hii, first time posting on reddit on this account, crazy stuff i know.
basically, what's happened is that my boyfriend (who is a very big gamer, more context about this in a bit) was playing games with his friends tonight. (context time ) my boyfriend really loves to play games in general but especially with his friends as after he moved schools they dont see eachother as much irl anymore so them gaming together is essentially the only time they actually spend together.
Tonight in particular, they were all on roblox, my boyfriend has never been against me joining games when he's playing with his friends but i never joined due to fact majority of the time i wasnt interested. Tonight was a bit different in the fact that i did geniunally want to play with him and his friends but everytime i would try to join him, i would get really anxious and end up leaving the game almost immediatly, ive never met or interacted with in anyway with any of his friend so technically if i were to join tonight, this would be my first time meeting them.
the only thing im wondering (plus the reason why im writing this in the first place) is why am i so worried about joining this and why is it making me so anxious. perhaps you guys may be able to see something that i may have missed.
submitted by lukatsucurry to teenagers [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 01:42 TheYourPetGuide The Ultimate Guide to Dog Boxes 2024

If you're looking to understand more about dog boxes, you're in the right place. Dog boxes are essential for many pet owners, especially for those who travel frequently or need a secure place for their dogs. Here’s a comprehensive guide to help you make an informed decision.

What is a Dog Box?

A dog box, also known as a dog crate or kennel, is a secure, enclosed space designed for dogs. It serves multiple purposes such as transportation, training, and providing a safe, comfortable environment for your pet.

Types of Dog Boxes

Plastic Dog Boxes
Wire Dog Boxes
Soft-Sided Dog Boxes
Heavy-Duty Dog Boxes

How to Choose the Right Dog Box?

Size Matters
Purpose and Usage
Durability and Safety

Benefits of Using a Dog Box

Training Tool
Travel Safety
Preventing Destructive Behavior

Tips for Introducing Your Dog to a Dog Box

  1. Make it Comfortable: Add soft bedding and your dog’s favorite toys.
  2. Positive Reinforcement: Use treats and praise to encourage your dog to enter and stay in the box.
  3. Gradual Introduction: Start with short periods and gradually increase the time your dog spends in the box.

FAQs about Dog Boxes

Q: Can I use a dog box for potty training? A: Yes, dog boxes are highly effective for potty training. They help teach your dog to hold their bladder until they are let outside.
Q: How long can I leave my dog in a dog box? A: It depends on the dog’s age and training. Puppies should not be left for more than a few hours, while adult dogs can stay for longer periods if they are well-trained and comfortable.
Q: What should I put in my dog’s box? A: Include soft bedding, toys, and water (especially for longer periods). Avoid leaving food inside for extended periods to prevent messes.
By understanding the different types of dog boxes and how to choose the right one, you can ensure your furry friend has a safe, comfortable space whether at home or on the go.
submitted by TheYourPetGuide to u/TheYourPetGuide [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 01:40 naivaall I (17f) feel robbed of the teenage experience + behind socially.

This is long to read if your on mobile (I am) any advice helps, thanks.
I, (17f) am about to be a senior in high school and I’ve kind of realized how behind I feel in life.
For background I have very strict parents, and one of them is emotionally absent (I think she’s a narcissist but we will never know) and I don’t think she likes me very much. That’s besides the point however, but she’s kind of hands off in my life not in the “I don’t care what you do” way, but in the “I don’t want you to do anything but school and home” way but she won’t help me do anything else.
My dad however he’s involved more with me and I really appreciate him, but he’s still strict in the sense that if I go somewhere he has to be the one to take me and bring me back, and I have to let him know weeks in advance. This makes it really inconvenient for me socially because we live in the middle of nowhere. Or not nowhere, but an EXTREMELY car dependent area. Like a shopping center a 10 minute drive away, but a 3 hour walk along a narrow empty road kind of nowhere. Meaning no public transport, and without him I’m physically stuck at home. (Ubers not allowed). My parents also don’t really do family bonding stuff to get new experiences. Every somewhat interesting experience I’ve had in my life thus far has come from my oldest brother and his fiance who I also consider my sister who are both twice my age. Meaning I can’t really relate to them on a personal level, but since my brother knows how my parents are he really makes and effort to be there and help me in basically everything. Like if I didn’t have him, I’d never know what an amusement park like six flags is like, I would never have been to Panera bread, I’d never see a movie, id be typing this on a leapfrog, and I’d literally never do anything. at all. That’s how mundane my parents lives are and since they’re older(60s), and come from a really rough life (they migrated here) they’re kind of content with work, home, eat, sleep, repeat. Maybe once in a blue moon go out to eat, or shop at a department store for furniture or something. My mom in particular has also kind of given up being a parent because of me and my siblings age gap, it’s like I’m a ghost to her. I do a lot of stuff myself not by choice. Like If I was told to pack only my things and go, I’d literally pack my entire room. Everything in it except for the mattress and major furniture was purchased by me, or my brother and sister (his fiance). All my shoes, 80% of my clothes, and all else have been bought by me/siblings since I was 15 i think?
I’ve never had a family trip/vacation even to like somewhere local/close. Everywhere we go has to have some sort of legitimate purpose, and when I bring this up to my parents they bring up those types of trips. “Remember when we went to Florida!” But we stayed for literally a day and a half soley for the purpose of attending my brother’s graduation when I was like 8. “Remember when we went to Canada” again for a day and a half just for some church program thing (super Christian). Again when I was like 12. I’m too young to do anything for fun in their eyes or take public transport, but I’m allowed to have my job. Even then I can’t work more than once a week because they’ll complain about having to take me and pick me up as I’m reliant on them for transportation. I’ve been pushing them to get my lisence, but they keep stalling for god knows why. And to knock this out, no they are not financially struggling. On top of that I have no family aside from them/my siblings in the US, so I literally have nobody. My brother, I love him and his help but I feel like I’m holding him back from truly being able to let them go and be free of constant contact with them for other reasons, because he still wants to be in my life and help me.
Earlier I said one of my parents is emotionally absent, it’s no secret but it’s my mom, pretty sure she hates me and I don’t know why, but I’m over it. Suddenly after I turned 11 she just has this constant need to argue with me, put me down, or literally do anything just to assume the worst of me or not be happy for me. The issue with that is, she also doesn’t DO anything. My dad does literally EVERYTHING. He cooks, he takes me to school, he picks me up, he takes me to the doctor, he goes to any ceremonies, everything. It’s so bad that some of my friends deliberately avoided bringing up mothers because they thought my dad was a single dad (my mom is hands off my life so I never bring her up and she’s never in a position to meet them). So I feel 10x guilty anytime I want to even go to the grocery store because I know it’s going to fall on my dad alone and I don’t want to make it harder for him when he does a lot already. I can’t go out with any friends, but when I want to do something alone I can’t do it because it’s suspicious that I want to do it alone. Relationships have always been out of the question, the romance isn’t worth the shit show aftermath at home. And as I get older when I see people my age driving, going out, getting piercings, dye jobs, tattoos, doing weekday shifts, relationships, it kind of hits me that I’m literally so behind and have accomplished nothing outside of academics. It’s led to “what’s the point” thoughts which I have to work through alone because just my luck in the eyes of my parents depression and sewerslidal thoughts are diseases. It’s so bad that when my mom (shocker) asked me if I was depressed a few days ago I instantly said no because I knew it was not genuine. It was 100% bait that would’ve turned into a long lecture as to why I’m wrong even though I hate to self diagnose but I honestly think I have been for a while. The constant isolation (not by choice) has gotten terrible to the point where I’m starting to hear shit and see shit when I’m alone and it’s kind of freaking me out. My one and only vice is impulsive spending online because I literally have nothing to look forward to having money for.
My brothers done so much for me. He bought me my first phone, everything. I keep telling myself to just wait until I’m 18 to live life, but I then think I’d still have missed a decent or somewhat normal high school experience. All that alone time gives me the opportunity to learn a lot of random stuff, and I always end up viewed as the “mature” or “smart-experienced-therapist-like” figure (key word figure because I’m NONE of that) in my friendships and it sucks because due to past experiences of opening up to my mom, I have trouble expressing how I feel to others. No im not mature and handling my own, I just have no idea how to talk about my issues/feelings to others in person. Like no I’m not some know it all fortune teller. Sometimes I literally just want to have someone to feel stupid with you know? Like I want to be able to leave my brain at home with someone and not feel like I’m breaking character or something. I hate being told I carry myself maturely, or I’m an old soul or down to earth by people older than me etc. I don’t want to be. I hate being looked at weird or with wide eyes when I laugh, smile, or joke because for some reason people think it’s not “like me”. I don’t even know what to do, or where to start. Everyone thinks I just have shit sorted and just make moves in silence or something when I’m literally in crisis. I feel weird to even cry, ME a 17 year old girl feels like it’s a crime to cry infront of anyone. None of my friends have ever seen me cry. And I almost did once infront of two of them because of a really bad moment of clarity that my life sucks. They just stared at me like I was some specimen because they didn’t know I was capable of crying I guess? If anyone even reads this I don’t even know what to do. I don’t even know if I make any sense. And I read this over and edited it in less detail because I think my feelings are corny and it sounds stupid and ik that’s my problem even on Reddit UGH.
And disclaimer, no I am not a danger to myself or anyone else, I’m not itching to kick the bucket it’s just a big “ugh” moment.
submitted by naivaall to Advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 01:39 Accurate_Leek71 Asked my (41f) husband 41m (together 15 years, married 11) get tested for adhd and now apparently we're getting divorced. How to approach?

Asked my (41f) husband 41m (together 15 years, married 11) get tested for adhd and now apparently we're getting divorced. How to approach?
As above. I've known for years but now we're both part time working in the office and part time working from home, we spend a lot more time in each others company. I find it exceptionally difficult to concentrate at work from home and because I earn commission its having a huge effect. I have very recently started weekly therapy so I cam tolerate his 'quirks' and block out the contant disruption that comes with having him in my space. But this is a relationship and I think he should also contribute and at least have adhd ruled out or acknowledged. He has taken this as a massive insult and has (unreasonably) decided this means I hate him and want him medicated to be 'tolerable'. I've asked him to just entertain me but instead has caused damage to our new home on a rampage and has presented me with divorce costs and cost of leaving our current mortgage. Wtf? I genuinely just want us to have a better relationship and want him to have better relationships with friends and family members as he frequently feels down about how he's left out of conversations or events because he's 'not good enough'. Really struggling with this. Tl;Dr How to salvage relationship when husband is adhd but in massive denial
submitted by Accurate_Leek71 to relationships [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 01:37 Independent_Middle15 No friends

How do you make friends as an adult? I’m a homebody and the only time I leave my house is to go to work. I don’t socialize with any coworkers outside of work and I’ve lost contact with all friends from school. I wish I had someone to talk to. Someone to ask about my day and listen to me vent. Someone to take trips with or go shopping.
Any tips?
submitted by Independent_Middle15 to lonely [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 01:37 lukatsucurry silly talks

hii, first time posting on reddit on this account, crazy stuff i know.
basically, what's happened is that my boyfriend (who is a very big gamer, more context about this in a bit) was playing games with his friends tonight. (context time ) my boyfriend really loves to play games in general but especially with his friends as after he moved schools they dont see eachother as much irl anymore so them gaming together is essentially the only time they actually spend together.
Tonight in particular, they were all on roblox, my boyfriend has never been against me joining games when he's playing with his friends but i never joined due to fact majority of the time i wasnt interested. Tonight was a bit different in the fact that i did geniunally want to play with him and his friends but everytime i would try to join him, i would get really anxious and end up leaving the game almost immediatly, ive never met or interacted with in anyway with any of his friend so technically if i were to join tonight, this would be my first time meeting them.
the only thing im wondering (plus the reason why im writing this in the first place) is why am i so worried about joining this and why is it making me so anxious. perhaps you guys may be able to see something that i may have missed.
submitted by lukatsucurry to u/lukatsucurry [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 01:37 Embarrassed_Side_492 AITA for calling out my vet?

Hello everyone. I personally don’t feel as though I am in the wrong here, but my wife said that I may have gone a bit overboard. I would like to know what you guys think.
I love animals, I have ever since I was a little kid. I love all kinds of animals but I am allergic to almost anything that has fur, so I own mostly reptiles and a few tarantulas. I have a bearded dragon who is about 10 years old, and recently he started showing symptoms of an eye infection. We just moved across the country, so I had to find a new vet to take him to. I called around and only one vet near me said they would see exotic animals. Their reviews were good, so I called and booked the next available appointment.
I get to the vet with my bearded dragon, and end up waiting close to an hour in the waiting room. When I finally get taken to a room, the vet tech was very polite and friendly. She asked me a bunch of routine questions while she weighed him and took some notes, and then told me the vet would be in shortly.
When the vet made his way to the room, he said that there were some students shadowing him, and asked if they could sit in on the visit. I said yes because I didn’t see any harm in it. He brought them in and started examining my beardie. He starts explaining to them that bearded dragons are “tropical reptiles,” and says that they need high temperatures and high humidity. He also said that they were “strict carnivores” and that they could not digest plant matter. I was fucking dumbfounded.
For anyone not familiar with bearded dragons, they are desert reptiles. High humidity can cause severe respiratory problems. Along with that, they are omnivores and while they need animal protein in their diets, vegetation is EXTREMELY important for their health.
This is where I may have been the asshole, I cut him off in front of the students. I told him that what he was saying was totally wrong, and that he shouldn’t say that his practice can see exotic animals if he knew nothing about them. He said that he had been in veterinary medicine for over ten years, and I said “It doesn’t show. You know nothing about my pet.”
I ended up leaving and driving to a different clinic almost two hours away to see a vet who specializes in reptiles. My beardie is doing much better now.
This all happened about a week ago, and my wife says I could have handled the situation better. I personally don’t feel like I did anything wrong, since I didn’t raise my voice, didn’t cuss, and paid the exam fee, but I might be wrong. AITA??
submitted by Embarrassed_Side_492 to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 01:34 throwra56666666 Why did my FWB mistreat me but treat other women better? (27F)(29M)

When I(27F) first met this guy(29M) at a bar two years ago, he liked to binge drink on the weekends and do a lot of Coke. I knew it was just a hook-up, but he constantly rubbed other women in my face. He would show me videos of him hooking up with other women and brag about having group sex.
I never expected so much out of the relationship. I had to beg him to wear a condom the first time that we had sex and the entire time that we had sex. He begged me to take it off and asked me every two seconds to take it off.
The next time we had sex, he had left another woman drunk to hang out with me, and I didn’t know until I saw her texting him. Where did you go and her calling him a bunch? I could tell he was mad the next day that he left to hang out with me, even though he was the one who hit me up first, and he called me five separate times. He said I don’t know why I left so early. I don’t know why I went to hang out with you. He was angry with me the following day and said he didn’t remember the night.
His friends came over, and I hid in the closet because I felt hideous that he hated me and that they didn’t want to see me. He was pissed off about that. He looked like he was sulking, and then he asked me to leave because I hid in the closet the next day. He called me a weirdo and stuff. The next time we had sex, my an*s I was bleeding, and he was laughing about it and making it like it was a joke.
Then I asked him to finish quickly because I get nervous during sex sometimes, and he got super upset. He got in my face and told me that he hated me and that my p*ssy stank. Afterward, I gave him a back rub to try to calm him down, then told him to sleep on the other side of the bed. After that, we didn’t talk to each other for eight months, and then I saw him on Halloween.
We had a fun night, but I asked him to finish quickly again, and he got super angry and upset and didn’t even say goodbye to me. He was speaking on the phone that he was hanging out with frat brothers and not me.
Recently, I saw him, and then after, he ghosted me. I am not proud of myself, but I sent a bunch of angry text messages saying that he was short and that he treated me like sh*t. He completely denied treating me like shit and said that I was crazy and that I needed to stop trying to hit him up. When I first met him. He told me he loved me and called me beautiful and stuff when he was drunk and would call me love. I feel stupid.
Why would a man treat me this way? What did I do to deserve to get treated this way? Did the man mistreat me, or?
He mistreated me multiple times, insulted me on numerous different occasions, and made me bleed during sex, but said that he didn’t mistreat me.
TL; Dr. mistreated me multiple times, insulted me on numerous different occasions, and made me bleed during sex, but said that he didn’t mistreat me. Why did he treat me this way?
submitted by throwra56666666 to adhdwomen [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 01:31 solarsoup2 What are your opinions on continuing to be this person's friend? 20F and 20F

I'm a 20 F friends wt another 20 F for the past 10ish years. As children, we were best friends but honestly she had lots of best friends and she was my only one so that dynamic was always a bit one sided as far as levels of appreciation. There was always another friend getting her attention more or she preferred more although she assured me I was her best friend (not that I asked more so always saying I was) and I've always felt like her backup bestie and occasionally her primary. We have the most in common and now as adults she always talks about how close we are by sending reels that go along the lines of being soulmates or being like sisters. So as far as verbally, the situation is fine. Howeverrrr, it's what she's not saying that worries me. I notice she likes alot of posts or reels that contradict my lifestyle. For example posts about not getting married early (where she even commented how stupid it was knowing i married early and she told me the words "if he's willing to make a commitment you should go for it") or ones basically saying spiritual people were delusional (and we talk about spirituality all the time). So it feels like she's hating from a place she thinks I wouldn't see. Further, I'm always the one who has to volunteer to drive or she won't make an effort to hangout unless I have... substances to convince her to drive for (we live an hour away). She also scoffs at the ideas ive had of opening a business or going to college bc she's kind of negative and believes it's worthless. Again she usually never says anything directly it's her reaction to what I'm saying more so (and saying she thought college was worthless as well once). Even when I was leaving the state for an undisclosed amount of time she told me she'd rather see her boyfriend that day whom she hangs out with weekly and hadn't seen me in weeks before I left (which ended up being a year long). Also, the only friends she does put in effort to see are really bad people who have done awful things and she knows that but hangs with them alot cuz they have substances. She doesn't have an addiction but an addictive personality Cue to 3 days ago suddenly her profile says "Instagram user" so I assumed her profile had been removed (she posts alot of negative comments that get her suspended often usually about men). Texted her to no response through my new number, called, then texted again a day later and finally got a "who's this" (didn't even read what I'd sent asking if she was banned), then continued a dry convo that ended with "oops sorry wrong person" n no other response to my previous message. Again: she has never voiced a problem with me and on all levels our daily interactions are chill. Just sending memes and occasionally ranting to each other or just talking ab things. It's the details besides the daily interactions that worry me. The negativity, the shading, the putting everyone else over me unless there's substances involved. It seems like she's not really my friend but doesn't wanna stop talking to me either. (Worth noting we were the weirdos as kids who everyone thought were witches n now she won't even post me but will post her other friends n even showed off to me in messages her friend with 50k followers: the only friend she's ever shown me... (which felt really shallow).
submitted by solarsoup2 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 01:30 euk232 AITA/ for leaving by ex-best friend after she told everyone my fake secrets about me

For a bit of context I became friends with this girl let’s call her Ella in the first year of high school. We were inseparable and had a really good friendship. When we came back after lockdown for our third year of high school I started to see some red flags. In lockdown we both struggled with our mental health. But she made me feel as if my problems were irrelevant or not as bad as hers. But when we came back she started telling everyone about her ED she apparently had. She claimed to not eat for weeks but still come to our competitive swimming training every day. Now I am in no way trying to say she faked it but I don’t think you could swim competitively 9 hours a week without eating. There was also no change in her body whatsoever. She kept making comments on my body and eating habits. The most memorable being, “I’m surprised you don’t have an eating disorder have you looked in the mirror you looking a bit big” and “like are you seriously eating all that do you know how many calories are in that.” Things that generally brought back all the issues I had experience in lockdown meaning I was having a really bad time. I never said anything to her as I felt bad for all she was going through and wanted to be there for her as a good friend. Something happened at the end of the third year of high school that really made me go to rock bottom and whenever I would try to talk to her about it and she would just say you’ve already told me that and talk about some petty problem she had like how our teacher didn’t smile at her today. She was just a pathological liar but I never mentioned anything because I was too nice and felt bad for all she was going through. I was always there for her in her darkest days but she was never once there for me, she may of acted like she cared after I would tell her something I was struggling with by saying oh no that’s so bad but then just move onto how her dad made her cook dinner for something. One example of her lies was she claimed her dad was absive because he accidentally closed a door on her finger and said sorry a million times after. All this stuff only really came to my attention after I ended the friendship because I think I was just so wrapped round her lies One thing though that was really bad was I told her one of my biggest secrets and she went and told our teacher the whole thing bare in mind this was not our of worry for me but just to gossip, I had some serious issues with this teacher as she just treated me so unfairly and then she processed to bring it up in class as I assume Ella had told her it was okay to There are so many things that really I could talk about but I will only mention two more of the ones that are the worse Me and Ella and another friend were having a little sleepover that involved drinking bare in bind she was a bit reluctant to do it but me and my other friend checked about 5000 times to make sure she was comfortable with it and she was she reassured us she was. So we ended up having a fun night where we all got a bit tipsy Then about a week later she messaged us both saying we had forced her to drink and go against the will of God. She made me feel like such as shit friend for making her do this I felt ill and cried for days If you think this is bad the thing that tipped me over the edge was her faking being r worded And you may ask how do I know she was faking it I spent hours and hours making sure that I was sure of it before I cut her off. She basically faked it and claimed she became pregnant and got an abrtion one morning before school. She used to fake having a new bf every week and this particular one let’s call Alex, she showed us all a picture that I later found one Pinterest. We were 14 at the time and he’s was apparently 17 at some point over the few months they were together he ended up in prison apparently He then was then allowed out for a day where this happened and then went back to jail the next. And as far as I’m aware you don’t get leave days just to see your gf. Then he apparently also got out for another day to pay for her ab*rtion. And bear in mind I had her location and she always went straight home from school or just to another one of our friends houses. She also told everyone a different story Be sure I would never accuse someone of doing such a horrible thing unless I was sure of it So AITA for cutting her off or was this well deserved
submitted by euk232 to CharlotteDobreYouTube [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 01:29 Environmental_Sky401 I dont know what to do anymore

I've been taking the SAT for almost a year and atp it makes me want to kill myself, honestly
I started studying last year in the beginning of the summer for the December 2023 one, and it did NOT go well. my parents didnt take it too well and I haven't been allowed to hang out or see any of my friends since. However, this is understandable.
We got a tutor and it managed to bump my score from a 1180 to a 1280 when I took the one in march.
However, the most recent one I just took (may) I went down by 50 points with my reading only increasing by 30.
After thousands spent on tutoring and hundreds of hours studying, I just cant seem to improve. My parents scream at me for not being able to have a future or go to a good college and are threatening to hold me back a year. My dad blames my bf (who I never see outside of school anymore and im never on the phone w him) and screamed at me to cut him off and break up. He already doesnt like the idea of me dating and says im too young (im 17), however, I genuinely will never leave my bf under any circumstance, hes the only thing keeping me sane atp and we both love each other incredibly
It really hurts seeing everyone else around me live their lives and being happy since their parents done care abt the SATs at all
im not against my parents caring abt the tests, it just sucks that they think I'll have no future and won't get into college and won't be successful in life because of it
I really cannot afford to stay back a year, especially since I want to graduate with my class who ive been with for 3 years
I feel like im such a disappointment and I have to have something wrong with my brain because I dont know why im so stupid. my friend who studied for only a week got a high 1400. I just want to die I dont want to do this anymore.
I can hear them screaming at each other about me in the garage rn
submitted by Environmental_Sky401 to Advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 01:29 Hefty_Pumpkin5704 I feel like a puppet

Well first of all, I know that I could be a lot worse off and I truly feel for everyone on this sub, some stories are truly heartbreaking. But I don’t feel myself anymore and I feel myself going a lot worse, so I think it would really help to address the problem to prevent it from getting worse.
Firstly my (17F) parents are pretty good parents and all, but I just feel like something is lacking. I’m not being an ungrateful daughter that can just point out faults but something is just… off. I’m quite convinced that my dad has anger management issues, since he’s usually fine. But sometimes something that he would react normally to he EXPLODES. He can also get vicious with me now and again, I’ll say around once a month. In general he’s pretty chilled, but when he’s angry it gets bad.
Next, there’s my mom, who I’m quite sure might have narcissistic personality disorder, explaining it will need a whole other story, but she and my dad just don’t seem to care about my feelings as much as, let’s say, my friends parents. At school I was being borderline bullied, I kept it secret for almost a year and I remember the dread of going in, and when I was there I felt pure fear when I would be in the same class or close proximity to any of the bullies. I could even feel my legs shaking. I would skip PE so I didn’t feel a fool in front of them. And I skipped school quite a few times without my parents knowing. When I finally built up the courage to tell my mom, she didn’t do much at all. She refused to let me move school or be homeschooled, and when I’d come home upset she’d be annoyed at me for being ‘weak’, she also said she was GLAD I was being picked on since it helps ‘build character’. She also refused to do anything since school was nearly over, and she said that I need to focus on my final exams. I honestly think I would have done way better on those exams without having those bullies on my mind for the last couple years. Now I’m looking for a job, which I still don’t have since it’s very hard to find one and a lot won’t take me on coz I’m under 18. My grandma suggested I go with my mom about once a month to her self employed business, so I at least feel a purpose. When I brought this up to my mom she flat out REFUSED and said she ‘has a reputation she needs to keep’. I have begged to go on a training course like a couple of my friends have, but again my parents have said no and that everyone else is doing nails like my friends. I told them that at least I’d be doing something and they can’t complain about that anymore, and that it’s MY life so they can’t dictate what career path I go down.
Another problem in my life right now is church and my grandma. I loved going to church and I love the idea of it, but in my church, the audience can contribute when asked questions in a certain part of the service, which I have basically done all my life. People LOVE it when I comment and they always give me praise, but it has made me popular. So much that if I miss church once, there will be worried people asking my family where I am and my phone will be flooded with text messages. I hate to sound narcissistic but this doesn’t happen to any of the other kids, and I’m normally left thinking ‘why is it always me?’ Whenever any one of my family members is talking to someone from church, my name always gets a mention without fail, they always praise me and even though they’re being kind I’m getting fed up of hearing about myself all the time. Another reason why Im not so sure about being popular is because there’s a big gossip culture in my church and if you step out of line ONCE, everyone’s talking about you. It’s honestly like paparazzi. While some lesser known members of my church can easily slip away and do things unnoticed, I can’t take that risk. I feel like I always need to be perfect and it’s putting so much pressure on me. I have also had to go up on the platform many times, and as much as I don’t like saying it, performing from a young age has contributed to me craving attention. I have a love hate relationship with me being popular since I like to feel wanted but I don’t want to be a puppet. Another problem is that I don’t want to go to church tomorrow and my grandma is FORCING me to. She says she’ll drag me there and make me go. She has 3 grandkids but it’s always me getting pressurised. One of the other 2 wanted to leave the church altogether, but he was just sweet talked into coming back. When I took one day off my grandma threatened having those with authority have a serious word with me. One of my friends has also recently got baptised, I’m so happy for her but my grandma was complaining that I’m not making any progress and that all of my friends will be baptised and that I will have no status to my name still. She was also saying what a great job an 8 year old was doing at church and knew all of the bible scriptures. She told me that I probably couldn’t do that when, first of all, it’s not a competition and second, I actually stood up to a teacher in school about my faith. But this is really depressing me with all this pressure on me there’s literally 3 grandkids and it’s always me getting in trouble for not being good enough, not commenting enough, not performing enough.
Sorry that I ranted, there’s just so much I need to get off my chest. I literally wake up some days with no purpose or hope. I tell my parents about how I feel at church and all I get is the shrug of their shoulders. I’m just curious if it’s valid for all of this to be affecting my mental health and if my parents or church is taking a bigger toll on it. Any advice is always appreciated :)
submitted by Hefty_Pumpkin5704 to family [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 01:29 Hefty_Pumpkin5704 I feel like a puppet

Well first of all, I know that I could be a lot worse off and I truly feel for everyone on this sub, some stories are truly heartbreaking. But I don’t feel myself anymore and I feel myself going a lot worse, so I think it would really help to address the problem to prevent it from getting worse.
Firstly my (17F) parents are pretty good parents and all, but I just feel like something is lacking. I’m not being an ungrateful daughter that can just point out faults but something is just… off. I’m quite convinced that my dad has anger management issues, since he’s usually fine. But sometimes something that he would react normally to he EXPLODES. He can also get vicious with me now and again, I’ll say around once a month. In general he’s pretty chilled, but when he’s angry it gets bad.
Next, there’s my mom, who I’m quite sure might have narcissistic personality disorder, explaining it will need a whole other story, but she and my dad just don’t seem to care about my feelings as much as, let’s say, my friends parents. At school I was being borderline bullied, I kept it secret for almost a year and I remember the dread of going in, and when I was there I felt pure fear when I would be in the same class or close proximity to any of the bullies. I could even feel my legs shaking. I would skip PE so I didn’t feel a fool in front of them. And I skipped school quite a few times without my parents knowing. When I finally built up the courage to tell my mom, she didn’t do much at all. She refused to let me move school or be homeschooled, and when I’d come home upset she’d be annoyed at me for being ‘weak’, she also said she was GLAD I was being picked on since it helps ‘build character’. She also refused to do anything since school was nearly over, and she said that I need to focus on my final exams. I honestly think I would have done way better on those exams without having those bullies on my mind for the last couple years. Now I’m looking for a job, which I still don’t have since it’s very hard to find one and a lot won’t take me on coz I’m under 18. My grandma suggested I go with my mom about once a month to her self employed business, so I at least feel a purpose. When I brought this up to my mom she flat out REFUSED and said she ‘has a reputation she needs to keep’. I have begged to go on a training course like a couple of my friends have, but again my parents have said no and that everyone else is doing nails like my friends. I told them that at least I’d be doing something and they can’t complain about that anymore, and that it’s MY life so they can’t dictate what career path I go down.
Another problem in my life right now is church and my grandma. I loved going to church and I love the idea of it, but in my church, the audience can contribute when asked questions in a certain part of the service, which I have basically done all my life. People LOVE it when I comment and they always give me praise, but it has made me popular. So much that if I miss church once, there will be worried people asking my family where I am and my phone will be flooded with text messages. I hate to sound narcissistic but this doesn’t happen to any of the other kids, and I’m normally left thinking ‘why is it always me?’ Whenever any one of my family members is talking to someone from church, my name always gets a mention without fail, they always praise me and even though they’re being kind I’m getting fed up of hearing about myself all the time. Another reason why Im not so sure about being popular is because there’s a big gossip culture in my church and if you step out of line ONCE, everyone’s talking about you. It’s honestly like paparazzi. While some lesser known members of my church can easily slip away and do things unnoticed, I can’t take that risk. I feel like I always need to be perfect and it’s putting so much pressure on me. I have also had to go up on the platform many times, and as much as I don’t like saying it, performing from a young age has contributed to me craving attention. I have a love hate relationship with me being popular since I like to feel wanted but I don’t want to be a puppet. Another problem is that I don’t want to go to church tomorrow and my grandma is FORCING me to. She says she’ll drag me there and make me go. She has 3 grandkids but it’s always me getting pressurised. One of the other 2 wanted to leave the church altogether, but he was just sweet talked into coming back. When I took one day off my grandma threatened having those with authority have a serious word with me. One of my friends has also recently got baptised, I’m so happy for her but my grandma was complaining that I’m not making any progress and that all of my friends will be baptised and that I will have no status to my name still. She was also saying what a great job an 8 year old was doing at church and knew all of the bible scriptures. She told me that I probably couldn’t do that when, first of all, it’s not a competition and second, I actually stood up to a teacher in school about my faith. But this is really depressing me with all this pressure on me there’s literally 3 grandkids and it’s always me getting in trouble for not being good enough, not commenting enough, not performing enough.
Sorry that I ranted, there’s just so much I need to get off my chest. I literally wake up some days with no purpose or hope. I tell my parents about how I feel at church and all I get is the shrug of their shoulders. I’m just curious if it’s valid for all of this to be affecting my mental health and if my parents or church is taking a bigger toll on it. Any advice is always appreciated :)
submitted by Hefty_Pumpkin5704 to depression [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 01:29 Key_Inspector_1629 I don’t feel patriotic for my country

I moved from zim to the uk for better opportunities and better quality of life. I can afford food way better, I’m on a path course to becoming an environmental lawyer(something I probably would have never been able to do if I stayed in zim) and I just feel happier than I was in zim. Yes I left some of my family there but I just don’t feel attached to zim as I should. What should I be patriotic about if I had to leave my own country that has a corrupt government just for better opportunities and quality of life. Also I would feel bad saying I’m a proud Zimbabwean in another country in front of the natives of that country cause they would ask”then why did you come here” which I would to because I have friends who also came from zim living here and they wave around the flag being proud of being Zimbabwean but then I’m like why. It’s understandable if you only came here because you wanted a change or different career path but most of these people came here for better chance at life and I’m like if you that proud why did you come to work here
submitted by Key_Inspector_1629 to Zimbabwe [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 01:28 Hefty_Pumpkin5704 I feel like a puppet

Well first of all, I know that I could be a lot worse off and I truly feel for everyone on this sub, some stories are truly heartbreaking. But I don’t feel myself anymore and I feel myself going a lot worse, so I think it would really help to address the problem to prevent it from getting worse.
Firstly my (17F) parents are pretty good parents and all, but I just feel like something is lacking. I’m not being an ungrateful daughter that can just point out faults but something is just… off. I’m quite convinced that my dad has anger management issues, since he’s usually fine. But sometimes something that he would react normally to he EXPLODES. He can also get vicious with me now and again, I’ll say around once a month. In general he’s pretty chilled, but when he’s angry it gets bad.
Next, there’s my mom, who I’m quite sure might have narcissistic personality disorder, explaining it will need a whole other story, but she and my dad just don’t seem to care about my feelings as much as, let’s say, my friends parents. At school I was being borderline bullied, I kept it secret for almost a year and I remember the dread of going in, and when I was there I felt pure fear when I would be in the same class or close proximity to any of the bullies. I could even feel my legs shaking. I would skip PE so I didn’t feel a fool in front of them. And I skipped school quite a few times without my parents knowing. When I finally built up the courage to tell my mom, she didn’t do much at all. She refused to let me move school or be homeschooled, and when I’d come home upset she’d be annoyed at me for being ‘weak’, she also said she was GLAD I was being picked on since it helps ‘build character’. She also refused to do anything since school was nearly over, and she said that I need to focus on my final exams. I honestly think I would have done way better on those exams without having those bullies on my mind for the last couple years. Now I’m looking for a job, which I still don’t have since it’s very hard to find one and a lot won’t take me on coz I’m under 18. My grandma suggested I go with my mom about once a month to her self employed business, so I at least feel a purpose. When I brought this up to my mom she flat out REFUSED and said she ‘has a reputation she needs to keep’. I have begged to go on a training course like a couple of my friends have, but again my parents have said no and that everyone else is doing nails like my friends. I told them that at least I’d be doing something and they can’t complain about that anymore, and that it’s MY life so they can’t dictate what career path I go down.
Another problem in my life right now is church and my grandma. I loved going to church and I love the idea of it, but in my church, the audience can contribute when asked questions in a certain part of the service, which I have basically done all my life. People LOVE it when I comment and they always give me praise, but it has made me popular. So much that if I miss church once, there will be worried people asking my family where I am and my phone will be flooded with text messages. I hate to sound narcissistic but this doesn’t happen to any of the other kids, and I’m normally left thinking ‘why is it always me?’ Whenever any one of my family members is talking to someone from church, my name always gets a mention without fail, they always praise me and even though they’re being kind I’m getting fed up of hearing about myself all the time. Another reason why Im not so sure about being popular is because there’s a big gossip culture in my church and if you step out of line ONCE, everyone’s talking about you. It’s honestly like paparazzi. While some lesser known members of my church can easily slip away and do things unnoticed, I can’t take that risk. I feel like I always need to be perfect and it’s putting so much pressure on me. I have also had to go up on the platform many times, and as much as I don’t like saying it, performing from a young age has contributed to me craving attention. I have a love hate relationship with me being popular since I like to feel wanted but I don’t want to be a puppet. Another problem is that I don’t want to go to church tomorrow and my grandma is FORCING me to. She says she’ll drag me there and make me go. She has 3 grandkids but it’s always me getting pressurised. One of the other 2 wanted to leave the church altogether, but he was just sweet talked into coming back. When I took one day off my grandma threatened having those with authority have a serious word with me. One of my friends has also recently got baptised, I’m so happy for her but my grandma was complaining that I’m not making any progress and that all of my friends will be baptised and that I will have no status to my name still. She was also saying what a great job an 8 year old was doing at church and knew all of the bible scriptures. She told me that I probably couldn’t do that when, first of all, it’s not a competition and second, I actually stood up to a teacher in school about my faith. But this is really depressing me with all this pressure on me there’s literally 3 grandkids and it’s always me getting in trouble for not being good enough, not commenting enough, not performing enough.
Sorry that I ranted, there’s just so much I need to get off my chest. I literally wake up some days with no purpose or hope. I tell my parents about how I feel at church and all I get is the shrug of their shoulders. I’m just curious if it’s valid for all of this to be affecting my mental health and if my parents or church is taking a bigger toll on it. Any advice is always appreciated :)
submitted by Hefty_Pumpkin5704 to raisedbynarcissists [link] [comments]


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