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Fill in the blanks as you wish. I’ve posted here before and had good luck, and bad luck, and in between luck. I’m seeking a genuine connection. Not a rushed love story, not someone who only talks about themselves, but witty banter, light flirting and whatever else comes from that.
Some things that fill my cup are: •My gym routine - I’m dedicated to being strong - trying to prep for my old lady body.
•Craft Beer - I love breweries and trying new beers. My primary go to being IPAs
•Coffee - I take it a million different ways, I’m not a purist by any means.
•My Pets - I have a mutt and a cat (also a mutt).
•Live Music - I’ve been to over 200 concerts/shows/gigs and a few music festivals.
•Dive Bars and nights that never end - does this even need an explanation?
•Baseball and football - I can actually say Bay Area sports and people won’t have to guess anymore, so there’s that.
There is so much more to me and I’m very happy to discuss all of that. The only things that are a hard no for me are anime and video games. I don’t like either. I find that I’ve been told I’m charismatic, sassy and pretty funny.
I feel like transparency is important, I’m chubby. It’s not something I dislike about myself, but I understand if it’s not your type. Here is me - I don’t have too many pictures of me doing things because I’m always the one behind the camera for others: https://imgur.com/a/zRHIu54
Age range is 26+
If this sounds like a good time, or I sound like someone you’d get along with, let’s see where it goes. Chats preferred to start, other stuff can potentially be shared later. I don’t respond to low effort messages.

• (Short story time)

Might be hard to believe, but growing up I had never played a Zelda game (yes people like me exist haha) so I figured better to start late than never. I had recently found and dusted off my old 3DS I found in the back of the closet and took the opportunity to look at old games I missed out on growing up. As I combed through the 3DS' most popular games and people's recommendations, one that kept sticking out was "Ocarina of Time 3D", universally praised and ranked number one on a lot of people's lists. So as someone 26+ years late to the party, I thought I'd finally play my first Zelda game.
So far, I'm loving the game. It's fun and charming, the atmosphere is so nice and immersive, and I finally discovered all the iconic music and sound effects I've heard for YEARS in other stuff LOL. Currently I'm still early on in the game, just landed into the Royal Family's Tomb in Kakariko Village.

• (Main Topic - Me getting stuck)

I've got a huge question though, is the game supposed to be frustrating and hard to follow? I'm no stranger to these types of games and am used to exploring, backtracking and traveling, but I kept getting stuck ALOT.
In the beginning of the game at Kokiri village, I got stuck immediately. I was told to go find a "Sword and Shield" before I could see the great deku tree. So I went to the shop and bought a shield, and then thought "Well they got a stick for sale in here, so maybe that's the make shift sword for now?" but obviously that wasn't it. After running around the village more, I found the entrance to the The Lost woods. Being such a grand opening of an entrance I thought I was supposed to go in there to find a sword. After running around for 15 more minutes and getting lost over and over I realized this wasn't it either. So after running around the village more I found the crawlspace to learn how to dodge the moving boulder and found nothing again? But I figured that couldn't be it so I keep running around in circles and missed the chest THREE times because of the game's camera controls (maybe this is just a 3ds version issue?). Was I supposed to have a hard time finding the first sword? No one told me it would be at the back of town, behind a small crawlspace, past a moving boulder. The only clue I got was "You need a sword and shield to pass through here". I thought it honestly seemed more like a place to find a secret item, rather than an important story piece?
When I progressed to Hyrule Castle to try and see the princess, I got stuck again. During the portion where you have to sneak past the guards, I found the vines growing on the side of the wall. And after sneaking past to the side of the castle, I found an old guy sleeping? He wouldn't wake up no matter how many times I talked to him and I couldn't figure out what to do. So I thought I missed something and went back to town. When I couldn't find anything different in town I went back to the castle and noticed there was a girl named Malon standing next to the vines now. I talked to her and she said her dad fell asleep on his way to the castle during a delivery and asked if I could "wake him up". I thought "ah, now that I've talked to this girl I can wake up that guy". I did think it was really weird how she wasn't there before hand though, shouldn't she have been there the first time I tried to sneak in? Anyway I snuck to the side of the castle again and the guy WOULDN'T WAKE UP. I was super confused why he wouldn't wake up after I talked to Malon. After running around for 10 minutes and finding nothing, I decided to look up a guide. It turns out Malon gives you an egg, but only after you talk to her TWICE. She only gives you the important item you need if you speak to her again, after she finishes talking the first time?? Wouldn't it make more sense for her to say "hey can you wake up my dad if you find him? Also here is an egg" all in one? Why would I need to talk to her two times in a row for the progression item I need? Anyway, I got the egg and snuck past the guards again and when I made it to her dad it hatched into a chicken. I'm going to be real here, I got stuck again lol. I thought I would just talk to Malon's sleeping dad and he would finally wake up and I would give him a chicken as a gift? I knew chickens were animals in Zelda (and that you're never supposed to attack one) but it didn't even occur to me that the chicken in my inventory was an item to be equipped and used to wake up Malon's dad. I had to look at another guide for that one.
My third time getting stuck was after I talked to Zelda for the first time. After I talked to Zelda for the first time, I got to see the cool cutscene and spy on Ganon in the window. Afterwards, I get the Princess note thing and Zelda stops talking to me (I'm free to move around). At this point, I had been playing for over 2 hours so I saved and closed the game. When I came back to it later in the day, I was SUPER CONFUSED why I was back in Kokiri village. After looking it up, I get sent back there every time I save and close the game unless it's a dungeon?? Shouldn't that be a warning when you save?? "Warning, closing your game will have you awake in your bed in Kokiri village the next time you continue". I was really frustrated that I had to run back to Hyrule on foot, sneak past all the guards AGAIN, and then when I talked to Zelda I had to watch the cutscene AGAIN. It only took like 17 minutes, so it wasn't a huge deal but it was really frustrating how saving and closing the game made me lose progress.
The most recent time I got stuck was at the graveyard in Kakariko Village. After entering Kakariko village, I couldn't find anything to do since I couldn't progress into the mountain without the King's permission. I kept hearing about the graveyard though, so I figured that's where I should go next. I found the graveyard at the edge of town and read the gravestones one by one. When I got to the royal family's tomb some ghost popped out and I defeated them. The ghost told me some things and then disappeared afterwards. After that, I thought I was done in the graveyard, no chests, no branching paths, just the graveyard tour which I assumed was a minigame to get some rupees?. My train of thought was, okay so now maybe the king will be in town and I need to find him so he will give me permission to enter the mountain, I'll probably need to play my ocarina for him since Impa said the song will give me credibility for knowing the royal family. Guess who was wrong lol. I spent 30 minutes running around town checking every nook and cranny for something that would progress me forward. I gave up and looked at a guide again. Turns out I needed to play my ocarina at the royal family tomb to progress forward. Was I supposed to know to do that??? Did I miss some dialog at some point that tells me if I see a triforce symbol to play my ocarina on it? No one told me to do that. It seemed obvious when I thought about it, but there wasn't any tutorial or hints from Navi about it.

• (Conclusion)

Am I just incompetent?? Is progression in OOT supposed to be smooth sailing and I'm just fumbling the bag? I'm genuinely confused why I got stuck so many times this early on in the game. It's just really frustrating and disrupts the flow of what would other wise seem like a great story. Don't get me wrong, I'm going to keep playing, I love the gameplay and the visuals so far, plus it's kind of exciting since it's my first Zelda game. But man, is it supposed to be this frustrating for me? Are all Zelda games like this? Or is this just how games were in 1998? Am I just bad at this game? Lol

Fill in the blanks at your own risk. I’ve posted here before and had good luck, and bad luck, and in between luck. I’m seeking a genuine connection. Not a rushed love story, not someone who only talks about themselves, but witty banter, light flirting and whatever else comes from that.
Some things that fill my cup are: •My gym routine - I’m dedicated to being strong - trying to prep for my old lady body.
•Craft Beer - I love breweries and trying new beers. My primary go to being IPAs
•Coffee - I take it a million different ways, I’m not a purist by any means.
•My Pets - I have a mutt and a cat (also a mutt).
•Live Music - I’ve been to over 200 concerts/shows/gigs and a few music festivals.
•Dive Bars and nights that never end - does this even need an explanation?
•Baseball and football - I can actually say Bay Area sports and people won’t have to guess anymore, so there’s that.
There is so much more to me and I’m very happy to discuss all of that. The only things that are a hard no for me are anime and video games. I don’t like either. I find that I’ve been told I’m charismatic, sassy and pretty funny.
I feel like transparency is important, I’m chubby. It’s not something I dislike about myself, but I understand if it’s not your type. Here is me - I don’t have too many pictures of me doing things because I’m always the one behind the camera for others: https://imgur.com/a/zRHIu54
If this sounds like a good time, or I sound like someone you’d get along with, let’s see where it goes. Chats preferred to start, other stuff can potentially be shared later. I don’t respond to low effort messages.

Here are a few basic things about me :-
Age :- 27 Location :- Mumbai Job :- Working in a PSU Height :- 5.5 Education :- Btech in Computer Science
I am fond of reading with political autobiographies and thrillers being my favourite genres. I like travelling and have travelled to Himachal Pradesh, Uttarakhand, Goa, Delhi, Pune, Nashik, Alibaug and exploring North East is next on my bucket list. Introvert by nature and prefer WhatsApp over calls anyday even for the most urgent things 😌 I am an avid trader & investor and am pretty passionate about the stock markets. I like non vegetarian cuisine with butter chicken and Surmai Fish being my favourites. I do not smoke and drink only socially that too in moderation. Don't enjoy clubbing or partying and would prefer Netflix and chill on a weekend or having a nice cup of coffee and having a conversation with nice jazz music playing in the background 🥰 Not a religious person but not a complete atheist as well. I think I like things in moderation 😛 I believe in CF way of life and want to marry someone eventually for companionship. Don't want kids biologically and not open to adoption as well. Also, I do not like pets. I am open to getting sterilized if my future partner has this condition. Looking for a CF friend / partner in the age bracket of 24 - 29. If you find the above bio interesting, would like to get to know you further.

Hi everyone I’m a UOB student and I’m making a short film for my final project for my uni year and in need of a cast for it, it’ll be very fun and relaxed nothing too serious and would love to have people who are film enthusiasts with me through this journey! Will be shooting in London somewhere between the middle of June.
Shooting Dates:
June 10-25 (dependent on availability)
Location:
Central London and surrounding areas
Roles:

1. Young Musician: Male, 18-25 years old, passionate about music, introspective.
   
2. Various Characters: Multiple roles available, portraying the vibrant diversity of London's streets. Different ages and ethnicities needed, very open choices.
   

How to get into contact:
for more information and to get into the short film, please email alkawanini27@gmail.com with your name, contact information, and role(s) you're interested in. Or Send a message through Instagram on @Maceproduced.
Important Notes:

• This is a volunteestudent project with no monetary compensation.
• All cast members must be available for shooting dates.
• Transportation around London will be provided but not from Brighton to London.

Join us on this fun expirement through the heart of London!

I’ve been taking my college classes every semester for two years straight without any breaks while working in a restaurant 4-5 days a week. Just recently finished up spring semester and had another class for the summer start this past week. I’m always looking for moments where I can just relax for a second, take a breather, spend a minute without thinking about anything at all.
I woke up this morning hungover, didn’t have work, and decided to just sleep it off. Took a nap, didn’t get out of bed until 1 pm and went to chipotle. I actually listened to the song Untitled by Interpol for the first time on the way with my windows down and was completely blown away. Music is such a massive part of my life and that song just hit for me and instantly put me in a great mood.
I ended up looking for a new game to play on Xbox and saw that assassins creed Valhalla was on sale for like 10 bucks. I’ve been wanting to play this game for a while because I’ve been so into Viking history lately but never got myself to spend 60 dollars on it and was honestly thrilled when I saw it on sale.
Took four hours to download so in the meantime my gf and I went to the store and got some goods. I cooked (I love cooking) steak, mashed potatoes and asparagus. Steak turned out perfect. One of the best I’ve done and it was great now I’m laying in bed with a glass of wine playing Valhalla. Amazing.
It’s tough to focus on what parts of your day are good when so much of it is taken up by working and obligations. I always look forward to having a day where I can just do nothing at all. I guess I just had a great relaxing day and wanted to talk about it and see what everyone else looks forward to on their days off?

I just wrote my first album review and I know it needs work. Please offer tips of any kind!
I will post it for free here, but if you have medium please read it here:
https://medium.com/@benbrotmanb/secrets-heartbeat-atavista-by-childish-gambino-an-album-review-fce8f38ee5a0
But here's the full article:

“Secrets, Heartbeat” Atavista by Childish Gambino : an Album Review

Atavista released on May 13, 2024, a yearned-for date for fans of Childish Gambino’s former records like his most recent efforts Kauai (2014) and “Awaken, My Love!” (2016). It’s no secret that Donald Glover has carved into and entrenched himself in the inventive R&B and Hip-hop scene of the last 20-plus years, an extension of his creative and successful efforts as an actor. The following he’s amassed have waited a long seven years for the release of any project, unsure for much of that time if he even would.
Childish Gambino’s musical projects have improved with each release since 2011’s Camp. In those earlier years, his messages were met with overwhelmingly corny delivery and style, but his endeavors remained steady and he eventually found more profound and artistic ways to speak to his audience and the world. Gambino’s music includes but is not limited to addressing and critiquing American society and pop culture (see his smash hit “This is America”), while also pondering what life means and who he really is behind the fame.
The anticipation for this record was high for many having found enjoyment in his discography, including, most recently, the psychedelic, groovy, passionate, and emotional “Awaken, My Love!”.
The album art to represent this record seems to differ completely from all his previous. The jarringly blank white background with “ATAVISTA” pasted across the center to me indicated a significant change in his approach these many years later, but his style changes so drastically with each release that it was up in the air.
The introduction and title track “Atavista” fed us a short reflection on the word and it’s context — it meaning some sort of return to something ancestral or left behind, but this track didn’t reveal too much about how the rest would unfold.
By the third song “Time” with Ariana Grande, it was clear that Childish Gambino was taking another more pop-based approach to his regular variation on R&B — dappled with messages about his unique journey with self-love (see “To Be Hunted”) and the faults within social media(in “Algorhythm” and more).
A suprising first feature on the record, Ariana steps up to the plate. Her verse ends about as quickly as it begins, leaving something to be desired of her talent. The experience thus far felt lacking, but it was hard to put a finger on it.
What gave the album some kick after a slightly underwhelming beginning were two stand-out catchy and trademarked Gambino groove tracks: “Sweet Thang” with Summer Walker and “Little Foot Big Foot” with Young Nudy. The former is a sugary, southern, and soulful track that speaks on the ups and downs of relationships, neutrally expressing negative traits about his lover, but that they are a “sweet thang” regardless. “Little Foot Big Foot” showboats an earworm flow paired with a masterfully-utilized Nudy verse — a testament purely by his presence to the track’s message about the connection between absent fathers and drug dealing.
The album’s progression then begins to experience a falling action. Ther final few songs contributed little to the more passionate essence of what Gambino laid out just before. The production and overall sound of the the record (and especially the second half) was bland, monotonous, and drawn out — not something expected to hear after expecting the building momentum to continue. The wait was overall not worth the results of Childish Gambino’s efforts this time around, only creating a greater hole to fill for fans of his who feel the same.

5.5/10.

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Synopsis:
Juliette Contzen is a lazy, good-for-nothing princess. Overshadowed by her siblings, she's left with little to do but nap, read … and occasionally cut the falling raindrops with her sword. Spotted one day by an astonished adventurer, he insists on grading Juliette's swordsmanship, then promptly has a mental breakdown at the result.
Soon after, Juliette is given the news that her kingdom is on the brink of bankruptcy. At threat of being married off, the lazy princess vows to do whatever it takes to maintain her current lifestyle, and taking matters into her own hands, escapes in the middle of the night in order to restore her kingdom's finances.
Tags: Comedy, Adventure, Action, Fantasy, Copious Ohohohohos.
Chapter 241: Until Now
The doors to the Hartzwiese Adventurer’s Guild opened.
Before, the sound of raucous laughter could be heard flooding the street outside, filling the quiet of a spring night with all the debauchery the local drunkards had to offer.
Despite the halls of adventurers not being formal drinking establishments, those within were ready to compete in boisterousness with all the taverns, inns and pubs of the town combined. And also win. Handily.
And yet–
The moment the doors parted and I stepped within, a hush as quiet as any grave fell over its inhabitants.
A woman balancing with her derrière upon the head of another became still, the alcohol in her cup the only movement as it dribbled onto a stunned face below her.
A man slurping from the communal cauldron stared wordlessly, the stew pouring in, and then out of his mouth as the muscles of his throat forgot the means to swallow.
A bartender asleep upon a row of kegs quietly rose, the sudden din of silence waking him where the sound of debauchery and those drinking from the taps beside him had failed.
Here, there, and everywhere, eyes widened as the sudden silence was filled with the sounds of my footsteps as I strolled past, my loyal handmaiden and my brother’s attendant in my wake.
And also–
Mreow.
Mrewowow.
Meww.
Cats.
Tabby cats.
Calico cats.
Ragdoll cats.
Cats with twirly whiskers. Cats with puffy faces. Cats with slightly rounded ears.
Behind me, skipping around my legs while taking turns to sit upon my shoulders and very occasionally my head, were a legion of cats of various shapes, sizes and colours.
But no matter the springiness of their whiskers, the shine of their coat or the liveliness of their tails, one thing to bring them all together was the anarchy they caused.
This was no neat line of ducklings following after their mother.
This was a barbarian horde.
With no sense of organisation other than a shared drive to claim everything as their own, they immediately skipped amidst the stunned adventurers, scavenging for all the copious scraps while still turning their noses away from the alcohol forming sticky traps upon the floor.
Saying nothing, I allowed their demanding cries to fill up the hall as I swept forwards, pausing before a wall plastered from end to end with faded notices and requests long gone unanswered.
One by one, I systemically tore every request featuring a crudely drawn image of a cat, gathering into my arms a pile of parchment large enough to reach my chin.
Then, I made my way to the wooden desk.
A receptionist waited with a smile at the ready.
“Greetings! Welcome to the Hartzwiese branch of the Adventurer’s Guild. I see you’ve removed several notices from the–”
Poomph.
Silenced but unperturbed, this latest clone watched as I dropped the stack of requests onto her desk, before promptly topping off the stack with a copper ring.
“Do what must be done,” I said, my voice defiant. “I am ready.”
The receptionist answered me with a smile more permanent than the wall the notices were torn from.
A moment later–
“[Identify].”
A green hue appeared in her clasped palms as she assessed the ring.
“Juliette. B-rank. Your registered branch is Reitzlake.”
The sound of several cups clattered against the floor.
“Welcome again to Hartzwiese. I see from your commission history that you have an extraordinary amount of completions for recovering lost cats. May I assume the significant number of cats now roaming the branch hall relate to the notices removed from the wall?”
I pursed my quivering lips.
“Maybe.”
“Wonderful. And how many cats is it that you’ve rescued?”
“... Lots.”
“I see. Please give me a moment while I confirm the requirements of our commissions.”
The receptionist swiftly retrieved a stack of parchment from a drawer.
As she flicked through, her eyes simultaneously went to every cat roaming, napping and clawing in the hall. A skill not even monstrous overseers from the abyss with their dozens of eyestalks could match. But that’s only to be expected.
Wherever these receptionists were found, it was from a level deeper than any monster dared roam.
Eventually, she gave a nod.
“Thank you for waiting. There appears to be an excess of cats in relation to the number of commissions we have available. We’ll endeavour to ensure that every cat is rehomed at the earliest opportunity through our partner agencies and charities. But unfortunately, I can only provide official acknowledgement for cats rescued through a formal commission.”
I sucked in a deep breath, hoping that patience was one of the things I accidentally inhaled.
“Fine. And how many commissions does that end up being, then? … 10? 15?”
The receptionist flicked through her bundle of parchments once more.
“94.”
“... Excuse me?”
“I can confirm the successful completion of 94 simultaneous F-ranked commissions. Congratulations. This is a new record, breaking what appears to be one earlier set by yourself. A remarkable achievement befitting a B-rank member of the guild.”
The receptionist’s professional smile never wavered.
I thought that would be the worst of it.
But then–
She slowly brought her hands together … and started applauding.
It was the leak which broke the dam.
At once, she was joined by all who were present to witness this crowning moment of regret.
I turned around in time to see a riot in motion.
“W-Wooooooooooo!!!!”
“In … Incredible …”
“A new record … I … I heard it was broken in Trierport … to think I’d witness it broken again!”
“A B-rank adventurer … ?! Where … Where did she come from … ?!”
There was no polite, respectful applause here.
It was the wild cheering of a crowd at a tournament. The whooping cries of theatregoers calling for an encore. The acclaim of my father as he elbowed others to delight in the poetry I’d written when I was 6 and thus now regularly attempted to burn.
Everywhere I turned, I saw and heard the acclaim mixed with shouts of horror as mugs of alcohol were spilled on purpose and by accident. The layabouts stomped on the floor, doing their best to murder decorum under the strain of unbridled emotion.
Only a few falling teardrops formed any hint of more dignified revelry, the glimmer of admiration running down cheeks as sniffles were hidden amidst the raucous cheering.
And then I bore witness to the most morbid sight.
Like a tidal wave of soiled clothes and snotty faces, they suddenly came as one, hands reaching out for me with dripping mugs still in their grips. Horror struck at my soul. And unlike a farmer who’d scarpered into the night, I had nobody who could heal a wound caused by hooligans accepting me as their own.
“A-Amazing!! Take my drink! Take anyone’s drink!!”
“So many cats rescued … even my allergies can’t believe it!”
“My gods, it’s a legend! An adventurer among adventurers!”
This.
This right here.
This was the lowest point of my life … were I not an unparalleled genius.
“Oho … ohoho …”
At once, the wave halted.
Faces which were lit up in unabashed delight turned to looks of mild confusion against the tinkling music of my laughter.
They needed to cycle through the expressions until they reached horror and shame.
“Ohhohohohohohoho!!”
… For I was no drunkard seeking to join their ranks!
No … I was Juliette Contzen, 3rd Princess to the Kingdom of Tirea!
And that meant every action I took, every word I spoke, and every cat I saved was for a reason beyond the hopes and dreams these hoodlums had of wanton debauchery and rusting swords!
Indeed!
A lesser princess than I may slink away into the night, cowed by the utter shame, humiliation and disgrace of completing so many F-ranked requests that I somehow broke a record I’d only just set!
But I was made of greater things!
Of schemes and subterfuges so deep that it would take too long to explain! The plots I weaved were a silken web more intricate than any cogs which made up Coppelia as she doubled up, desperately trying to stop herself from succumbing to more pain from laughter!
And that meant with every cat request now denied to these louts … they would finally do some work!
“Ohoho … ohohohohoho!! Behold and be afraid! Witness before you the coming of a new dawn, here to lift you from your days of boundless reverie! Unfurl the shutters and gaze upon a radiance so pure it brands your dallying minds! The scorching sun has come to test the snail’s back, and all that your bleary eyes see is a great salt lake to devour you whole! Shrivel as you cling upon the sweat which drips upon your brow, for that is the proof you’re yet alive!”
A sudden silence met my proclamation of their coming ordeal.
And then–
“Wooooooooooooooooooooooo!”
“I don’t understand! But what a speech!”
“If she can do it, so can we!”
I raised a hand to my lips, barely covering my smile.
“Ohhhohohohohohohoho … !”
Here it was!
Operation: Gainful Employment!
An entirely new strategy, as bold as it was uncharted!
By removing what was surely the vast majority of missing cat quests available to the adventurers of this town, they would have no choice, utterly none whatsoever, but to engage in actual work! The type of work adventurers openly advertised themselves as doing!
Monster subjugation! Crime prevention! Fetching artifacts from hidden dungeons and then succumbing to their wounds at the entrance while the Royal Treasury pocketed the treasure!
Yes, this was clearly a highly experimental tactic.
But what was I, if not a bastion of creativity?
At the very least, I utterly refused to accept the status quo! An organisation dedicated exclusively to rescuing lost cats or elbowing into my kingdom’s sovereign affairs was no good to me!
Thus … I could not cower like some towngirl nauseous from the smell of their revelry.
Instead, I would squeeze the Adventurer’s Guild dry until the day I replaced them with an army of trained poodles. Until that joyous day, I could never tear my eyes away when they waited to be robbed.
To do so was more than a dereliction of duty …
Why, I’d be an accomplice to their drunken escapades!
My vow remained unchanged. For my goal, I would brave any indignity. The ring I was hoping the receptionist would forget to return was proof of that.
And thus–
I stood tall as a summer reed, proud in the knowledge that I had no need to feel even an inkling of embarrassment over completing 94 simultaneous F-ranked commissions! …
“Pfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft.”
“S-Stop at once! You are not to laugh!”
“Pffffttt~”
“C-Coppelia!!”
Clearly not seeing the angel of self-sacrifice who I was, Coppelia held one hand tightly around her mouth. Even so, she failed to stop either the sound of her amusement or the tears falling from her eyes.
My only salvation was that it came at significant cost to her. Even now, she careened between laughter and painful regret.
I decided to offer both her and myself mercy.
Turning to the receptionist, I found a modest pouch already waiting upon the wooden desk. As well as a copper ring waiting beside it.
“Thank you for your service to the Adventurer’s Guild,” said the receptionist, her professional smile undaunted by the commotion. “Your total remuneration is 102 gold crowns, 7 silver crowns and 9 copper crowns. I’ve taken the liberty to compile all your separate payments together.”
I took the pouch and ignored the ring.
The receptionist pushed the ring forwards.
A long moment later, I collected it, uncertain what a receptionist would do if I tossed it into the communal cauldron, but knowing it would somehow still end up on my finger regardless.
With my head held high, I bravely ignored the chorus of voices unknowingly cheering for their own hardship as I swept past. Renewed tears and applause filled the hall. A few cats attempted to follow me. I stopped to shoo them away.
And then I was outside, the door closing behind me.
“... Goodness, that was quite the sight,” said Renise with a bemused smile. “It reminded me somewhat of the inns of Reitzlake’s docks. I wonder if all the halls of adventurers are like that, or merely those which you frequent?”
“Please don’t insinuate I’m responsible for the debauchery which occurs wherever the Adventurer’s Guild is concerned. That’s something I can claim no credit for.”
“You say that … but to me, it seems that you caused quite a stir. That really is a remarkable number of cats you rescued, after all. Even I can tell that 94 simultaneous F-ranked commissions–”
“Miss Renise.”
The maid’s smile wavered against whatever fatigued expression I was making.
A moment later, it fell away entirely as she switched to her role as my brother’s attendant and the leader of whatever scoundrels he’d charged her with herding.
“... Yes, I suppose there’s time for idle conversation later. There’s a guardhouse nearby. We should report on all that’s happened tonight.”
I gave a nod of agreement.
Hopefully, the baroness hadn’t woken from her stupor yet. But if she had, I was certain the single portrait of myself I’d returned to the wall of her gallery to smile down at her gagged and bound state would calm her nerves.
Renise hummed towards the direction of Hartzwiese’s centre, before returning her attention to me.
“If you wish to keep your identity incognito, I can see guards sent to where they’re needed using my own authority, and arrange for the appropriate seizure of the goods and crowns we’ve discovered.”
I beamed at once.
My, so prudent! It’s little wonder she was chosen by Roland!
“A judicious offer. And one I’ll accept gladly, providing the burden isn’t too severe.”
“This is merely an administrative task, and little burden compared to what both yourself and Miss Coppelia regularly perform. In any event, it is only efficient. I expect I’ll be spending a significant amount of time at the baroness’s farmstead. It is quite extensive. If possible, I would like to make use of it for Rose House. I imagine having such a facility close to the Granholtz border would have its uses.”
I nodded, already forgetting the barn’s existence.
“I encourage you to use your discretion as required. My brother has put his trust in you, and so I both expect and know that you shall not disappoint in furthering the kingdom’s prosperity.”
The young woman smiled. One filled with appreciation, but also lacking ambition.
Good.
An excellent combination as far as retainers were concerned.
“Thank you. Although I worry you place too much trust in my abilities. In truth, those like Baroness Arisa would have made for a greater asset to the kingdom. Her resourcefulness must be acknowledged.”
“It is not resourcefulness my kingdom requires. It is loyalty. And hers is a pit so empty it drains others.”
“That’s true. But at least we were able to acquire some useful things from her nonetheless.”
Renise pulled out a tiny vial from the belt around her thigh.
A golden liquid was stored within, glimmering with an unnatural light.
“These were in her chamber,” she said, her eyes lacking emotion as she surveyed the bright liquid. “When we met, she actually attempted to purchase my loyalty with this.”
“A suspect vial. How quaint. And what miracle did she promise?”
“One that would wake my parents from their curse of eternal slumber.”
“... And is it?”
“I don’t believe so, no. This is one of many identical vials I found in her chamber’s desk drawer. All prominently labelled with instructions to only drink as required to stave off the effects of bloating.”
Renise returned the vial to her belt with a slightly embarrassed smile.
“It’s still useful,” she admitted. “But just not for what I require.”
I gave a simple nod as my reply.
Nothing else needed to be said.
She hoped to see her parents wake from their prison of dormancy. An understandable wish. And one I wasn’t required to supplement with the comment that no pair named the Smuggler King and the Smuggler Queen were likely to receive as light a sentence as their daughter.
I could not speak on behalf of Roland. Although I imagined that as a kind man, he would prefer not to pass judgements which were total. But as the Crown Prince, he did not have the luxury of kindness.
It would take much to change their fate.
But perhaps that’s why Renise was here, still proving true, and not accepting stomach ailment potions from a baroness.
A moment of silence followed.
Renise gave a short sigh. And that was that.
She set her eyes on the task ahead–at least until whatever words she’d parted her mouth to say were interrupted by Coppelia’s humming instead.
“Sooooooooooooooo … you just want to wake up two people eternally sleeping, right?”
A small smile met her optimistic voice.
“If a cure were readily available, I’m certain I would have found it by now. I believe one might be possible, but it would take skill and ingredients beyond any apothecary I know of.”
“Well, sure, you could go that way. But what about going straight to the source instead?”
“The source?”
“Sure. They’re asleep, right? So just ask the one in charge of where they are now.”
“I’m … not quite sure I follow?”
Coppelia clapped her hands together and beamed.
“The Spring Court is the realm of dreams. Chances are, they must have shown their faces around a few times by now. If you ask the Spring Queen nicely, she might do you a favour.”
“The Spring Queen? … The fae?”
“Mmh~ luckily, we have someone with connections here!”
Renise was startled out of her reply.
It was nothing compared to me. The one being pointed at.
“Coppelia!” I said, truly aghast at the suggestion. “The fae are not to be taken lightly. Why, I still have nightmares about my conversation with the Winter Queen! I learned a side to royalty that day which I shall never forget … and I’m quite poorer for it!”
“You met … the Winter Queen?” asked Renise, her eyes suddenly wide.
“Unfortunately, yes, but I had zero intention of meeting her, and I’ve just as little intention of meeting any other fae as well. Including the Spring Queen.”
I waved away the coming query to declare what was just as important as my lack of enthusiasm.
“Besides, I’ve not the foggiest idea how I would even hope to use these supposed connections I have.”
“Oh, that’s the easy bit,” said Coppelia, her casual disregard for what counted as ‘easy’ more terrifying than any lout I’d met today. “The hard part is getting them to do what you want. But meeting them? The fae are creatures of stories. If the time is right, they’ll speak to you–one way or another.”
“Then they must book an appointment. One which I can formally reject.”
“I mean, I don’t think you have much choice. You didn’t last time, right?”
“The last time, I was sat beside the Winter Queen’s crown. I see no fae artifacts to hook me away. And that means utterly no scenario in which I could be abducted without my express–”
I suddenly stopped, clasping my hands around my mouth.
A moment later, I raised my arms in a martial art I’d just invented, turning repeatedly on the spot.
Renise blinked at me.
“Excuse me, but what are–”
“Shhshhshh!!”
I paused, gazing intently around at the quiet, dark streets of Hartzwiese, all the while ignoring Coppelia’s giggling at my near miss.
That … That was close!
“O-Oho … oho … I almost invited something terrible. Truly, it’s perhaps best not to needlessly voice things which Fae Queens and their deviant brand of magic could use …”
Coppelia nodded at me, as proud as she was clearly disappointed.
“You’re lucky. If the Spring Queen had a sense of humour, she’d have snagged you right there and then.”
“No. If the Spring Queen had a sense of humour, she’d wait until–”
Click.
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Top 10 LGBT-Free OS Alternatives - Article By Zenith

As we know, popular operating systems such as iOS, Android, and Windows include various LGBT content, such as pride wallpapers, same-sex, and non-binary emojis. Operating systems should aim to be neutral. Therefore, I have compiled a list of the top ten operating systems that do not include LGBT content.
1. Deepin DDE
Deepin DDE (Deepin Desktop Environment) is a user-friendly and visually appealing interface for computers. It is designed to be simple and easy to use, even for people who are not very familiar with technology. Here are some key features. Deepin DDE looks modern and stylish, with smooth animations and a clean layout. It has a dock at the bottom of the screen, similar to what you might see on a Mac, which makes it easy to access your favorite apps. The interface is straightforward and intuitive, so you can find what you need without getting confused. The start menu is well-organized, and common settings are easy to access. It comes with a set of pre-installed applications that cover basic needs like web browsing, music playing, and document editing. These apps are designed to work well together and match the overall look of the desktop. You can personalize the appearance of Deepin DDE by changing themes, wallpapers, and icon styles to suit your taste.
2. Arch Linux
Arch Linux is like a blank canvas for your computer. It's an operating system that gives you the freedom to build your digital world just the way you want it. Imagine it as a DIY project where you get to choose every little detail, from the color of the walls to the type of furniture you want. With Arch Linux, you're in control. You get to handpick every app, tool, and feature that goes into your system. Want a sleek and minimalist setup? You got it. Prefer a decked-out powerhouse with all the latest software? No problem. Whatever your style, Arch Linux lets you express yourself and tailor your computer to fit your unique needs. But here's the catch: because Arch Linux is so customizable, it's best suited for folks who don't mind getting their hands a little dirty. If you're up for a bit of tinkering and learning along the way, Arch Linux can be an incredibly rewarding experience. Plus, there's a vibrant community of fellow Archers ready to lend a hand if you ever get stuck. So if you're someone who loves to customize and personalize everything to perfection, give Arch Linux a try. It's like having your own digital playground where the possibilities are endless!
3. Ubuntu
Ubuntu is a user-friendly and free operating system that you can use on your computer or tablet. It's designed to be easy to use, similar to how smartphones work, with a simple interface that includes a dock (a bar with your favorite apps) and a status bar (which shows important information like battery life and Wi-Fi connection). Ubuntu is a great choice if you want a reliable, secure, and straightforward alternative to more familiar operating systems like Windows or macOS. Ubuntu comes with many useful apps already installed, such as a web browser, an email client, office programs (like Word and Excel), and media players for music and videos. This means you can start using it right away without needing to download a lot of extra software. Ubuntu is known for being very secure. It can breathe new life into older machines that might be too slow to run the latest versions of Windows or macOS.
4. AvdanOS
AvdanOS isn't your everyday operating system. It's a visionary concept created by YouTuber and motion designer Avdan, aiming to redefine the way we interact with our computers. It prioritizes a seamless interface that streamlines actions, making daily tasks on your computer significantly faster and more efficient. AvdanOS aspires to be more than just a pretty face. It positions itself as a complete workflow overhaul, not just a desktop environment. This means it envisions a cohesive system that integrates seamlessly with your work style, anticipating your needs and streamlining your processes. Drawing inspiration from the industry leaders, AvdanOS incorporates elements from popular operating systems like Windows, macOS, iOS, and Android. This creates a familiar yet innovative experience, leveraging the strengths of existing systems while introducing a fresh perspective. AvdanOS is built with the power of open-source collaboration in mind. Its development is happening on GitHub, allowing programmers and enthusiasts to contribute to the project's evolution. This open approach fosters a community around the concept and fuels its potential growth.

Live Music

• ZaZa Flamenca, Casa Monica Resort & Spa, 11:00 am -- 3:00 pm
• Lis Williamson, Fish House & Oyster Co., 11:00 am -- 2:00 pm
• Gabe Valla, Fish House & Oyster Co., 11:00 am -- 2:00 pm
• David Watt Besley, Aunt Kate's, 1:00 pm -- 4:00 pm
• Vinny Jacobs, The Cellar Upstairs Wine Bar & Restaurant, 1:00 pm -- 4:00 pm
• Joe Targove, Backyard Island Cafe at Meehan's, 1:00 pm -- 5:00 pm
• Space Heaters, Pierre's Pub, 1:00 pm -- 5:00 pm
• Seedfromatree, Jimmy Hula's, 2:00 pm -- 6:00 pm
• Ian Opalinski, Ann O'Malley's Deli and Pub, 3:00 pm -- 6:00 am
• Dewey Via Band, Dog Rose Brewing Co., 3:30 pm -- 6:30 pm
• Crawford Boyd's Acoustic Anomaly, Tradewinds Lounge, 5:00 pm -- 8:00 pm
• Jesse Cruce, Mellow Mushroom --- Murabella, 5:00 pm -- 8:00 pm
• Brian Rowland, Crabby's Beachside, 5:00 pm -- 8:00 pm
• $5 Jack and The Dry Tortugas, Borrillo's Pizzeria & Beer Garden, 5:30 pm -- 8:30 pm
• Damon Slaughter, O.C. White's Seafood, 5:30 pm -- 8:30 pm
• Alanis Sophia, Pierre's Pub, 6:00 pm -- 10:00 pm
• Spade McQuade, Meehan's Irish Pub & Seafood House, 6:00 pm -- 10:00 pm

Game On! St. Augustine Beach Triathlon

• Game On! St Augustine Beach Triathlon will take place at Vilano Beach on Sunday, May 19, 2024, and the times vary.
• The Olympic Triathlon Relay, Olympic Triathlon, and Olympic Aquabike begin at 6:45 a.m. The Olympic Duathlon, Olympic Duathlon Relay, and Sprint Duathlon begin at 7:05 a.m. The Sprint Triathlon and Triathlon Relay begin at 7:20 a.m.
• This destination race will include an Olympic distance triathlon, duathlon, and aquabike, as well as the Sprint Triathlon and Sprint Duathlon.
• The swim will take place in the Atlantic Ocean, with a scenic bike course taking participants north on A1A through the Guana Tolomato Matanzas National Estuarine Research Reserve (GTMNERR).
• Triathletes finish with a run through the tropical "Keys-like" neighborhood and along the Vilano Beach Nature Boardwalk with amazing views of the wetlands and local wildlife.
• Registration: The Game On! St. Augustine Triathlon offers various events with prices as follows: the Olympic Triathlon, Duathlon, and Aquabike are priced at $149.00 each, with prices set to increase after April 17, 2024. The Olympic Triathlon Relay is $269.00, while the Sprint Triathlon and Duathlon cost $119.00 each. There's also a Sprint Triathlon Relay priced at $209.00.
• When: Sunday, May 19, 2024. The Olympic Triathlon Relay, Olympic Triathlon, and Olympic Aquabike begin at 6:45 a.m. The Olympic Duathlon, Olympic Duathlon Relay, and Sprint Duathlon begin at 7:05 a.m. The Sprint Triathlon and Triathlon Relay begin at 7:20 a.m.
• Where: Vilano Beach Oceanfront Park is located at 2750 Anahma Drive in Vilano Beach, Florida 32084.

Romanza Festivale Finale: Bold City Brass

• The Romanza Festival 2024 finale will be an outdoor concert in the Plaza de la Constitución, performed by the Bold City Brass band, on Tuesday, May 19, 2024, from 6:30 to 8:00 p.m.
• From Jacksonville, the Bold City Brass Band has performed in Northeast Florida and beyond since 1980. The musicians are retired professional musicians, music teachers, and other accomplished players. They enjoy making good music together and often perform at celebrations, official functions, and special concerts.
• While the band is modeled on the traditional brass ensembles, all members currently perform on contemporary instruments: French horns, trumpets, trombones, and upright tubas.
• The band performs under the direction of Dr. Eric A. Becher who has expanded the band's repertoire to include music from several periods and genres. They can still belt out the more traditional marches and do so to the delight of their audiences.
• Admission: Free.
• When: Tuesday, May 19, from 6:30 to 8:00 p.m.
• Where: The Gazebo at the Plaza de la Constitución, 170 St. George Street, St. Augustine, Florida 32084
• This event is part of the Romanza Festivale of Music and the Arts, an annual festival of two weeks of historical, cultural, and creative events celebrating all things St. Augustine. From May 3 -19, the nation's oldest city will be jam-packed with music and dance concerts, living history events and historical tours, live theater, and art exhibits.

St. Augustine Music Festival Juneteenth Concert

• "New Orleans meets Harlem" featuring the Marcus Roberts Trio will perform on June 19 in Lewis Auditorium at Flagler College, 14 Granada St., downtown St. Augustine, Florida. The Festival Chamber Orchestra will join the Marcus Roberts Trio during the second half of the program to perform Rhapsody in Blue on the 100th anniversary of George Gershwin's famous composition.
• The Juneteenth concert will be a ticketed event and more information will be provided at a later date. 2024 is the 60th anniversary of the signing of the Civil Rights Act on July 2, 1964. This concert will be one of many events in St. Augustine during the year highlighting this historic legislation and highlighting the extensive history of Civil Rights in St. Augustine.

Yoga on the Lawn at Ximenez-Fatio House Museum

• 8 Am - 9 Am
• Enjoy yoga on the lawn at the historic Ximenez-Fatio House Museum. This one-hour vinyasa flow is perfect for all levels.
• Bring a beach towel or mat and water. Free parking behind the museum is available, but limited. Access the parking lot from Cadiz Street. Instructor will contact you by phone if class is canceled due to weather. Practice gets underway at 8 a.m. and lasts approximately one hour.
• Cost is $15 and registration is required.
• 20 Aviles St., St. Augustine.

Paella Sunday at Pesca by Michael's

• 3 Pm - 5 Pm
• Enjoy Paella Sunday on the Porch of Pesca by Michael's on Vilano Beach from 3-5 p.m. Tickets are $35 and feature Paella changes weekly, A favorite is is Garden Paella with Chicken Skewers and Shrimp with chorizo on the side (to accommodate all dietary restrictions).
• Salad, Bread, and one complimentary glass of Sangria or Wine are included. Purchase Tickets online or at the door.
• Pesca is located at Hyatt Place, 117 Vilano Rd., St. Augustine.

I am unable to post the sources because they are getting flagged as spam since they are all similar in name. So please visit this site for the list.
Written out urls here tinyurl.com/yjkw32kd

For future events please visit the Discord.

https://discord.gg/NG4eZSWAgR

Live Music

• ZaZa Flamenca, Casa Monica Resort & Spa, 11:00 am -- 3:00 pm
• Lis Williamson, Fish House & Oyster Co., 11:00 am -- 2:00 pm
• Gabe Valla, Fish House & Oyster Co., 11:00 am -- 2:00 pm
• David Watt Besley, Aunt Kate's, 1:00 pm -- 4:00 pm
• Vinny Jacobs, The Cellar Upstairs Wine Bar & Restaurant, 1:00 pm -- 4:00 pm
• Joe Targove, Backyard Island Cafe at Meehan's, 1:00 pm -- 5:00 pm
• Space Heaters, Pierre's Pub, 1:00 pm -- 5:00 pm
• Seedfromatree, Jimmy Hula's, 2:00 pm -- 6:00 pm
• Ian Opalinski, Ann O'Malley's Deli and Pub, 3:00 pm -- 6:00 am
• Dewey Via Band, Dog Rose Brewing Co., 3:30 pm -- 6:30 pm
• Crawford Boyd's Acoustic Anomaly, Tradewinds Lounge, 5:00 pm -- 8:00 pm
• Jesse Cruce, Mellow Mushroom --- Murabella, 5:00 pm -- 8:00 pm
• Brian Rowland, Crabby's Beachside, 5:00 pm -- 8:00 pm
• $5 Jack and The Dry Tortugas, Borrillo's Pizzeria & Beer Garden, 5:30 pm -- 8:30 pm
• Damon Slaughter, O.C. White's Seafood, 5:30 pm -- 8:30 pm
• Alanis Sophia, Pierre's Pub, 6:00 pm -- 10:00 pm
• Spade McQuade, Meehan's Irish Pub & Seafood House, 6:00 pm -- 10:00 pm

Game On! St. Augustine Beach Triathlon

• Game On! St Augustine Beach Triathlon will take place at Vilano Beach on Sunday, May 19, 2024, and the times vary.
• The Olympic Triathlon Relay, Olympic Triathlon, and Olympic Aquabike begin at 6:45 a.m. The Olympic Duathlon, Olympic Duathlon Relay, and Sprint Duathlon begin at 7:05 a.m. The Sprint Triathlon and Triathlon Relay begin at 7:20 a.m.
• This destination race will include an Olympic distance triathlon, duathlon, and aquabike, as well as the Sprint Triathlon and Sprint Duathlon.
• The swim will take place in the Atlantic Ocean, with a scenic bike course taking participants north on A1A through the Guana Tolomato Matanzas National Estuarine Research Reserve (GTMNERR).
• Triathletes finish with a run through the tropical "Keys-like" neighborhood and along the Vilano Beach Nature Boardwalk with amazing views of the wetlands and local wildlife.
• Registration: The Game On! St. Augustine Triathlon offers various events with prices as follows: the Olympic Triathlon, Duathlon, and Aquabike are priced at $149.00 each, with prices set to increase after April 17, 2024. The Olympic Triathlon Relay is $269.00, while the Sprint Triathlon and Duathlon cost $119.00 each. There's also a Sprint Triathlon Relay priced at $209.00.
• When: Sunday, May 19, 2024. The Olympic Triathlon Relay, Olympic Triathlon, and Olympic Aquabike begin at 6:45 a.m. The Olympic Duathlon, Olympic Duathlon Relay, and Sprint Duathlon begin at 7:05 a.m. The Sprint Triathlon and Triathlon Relay begin at 7:20 a.m.
• Where: Vilano Beach Oceanfront Park is located at 2750 Anahma Drive in Vilano Beach, Florida 32084.

Romanza Festivale Finale: Bold City Brass

• The Romanza Festival 2024 finale will be an outdoor concert in the Plaza de la Constitución, performed by the Bold City Brass band, on Tuesday, May 19, 2024, from 6:30 to 8:00 p.m.
• From Jacksonville, the Bold City Brass Band has performed in Northeast Florida and beyond since 1980. The musicians are retired professional musicians, music teachers, and other accomplished players. They enjoy making good music together and often perform at celebrations, official functions, and special concerts.
• While the band is modeled on the traditional brass ensembles, all members currently perform on contemporary instruments: French horns, trumpets, trombones, and upright tubas.
• The band performs under the direction of Dr. Eric A. Becher who has expanded the band's repertoire to include music from several periods and genres. They can still belt out the more traditional marches and do so to the delight of their audiences.
• Admission: Free.
• When: Tuesday, May 19, from 6:30 to 8:00 p.m.
• Where: The Gazebo at the Plaza de la Constitución, 170 St. George Street, St. Augustine, Florida 32084
• This event is part of the Romanza Festivale of Music and the Arts, an annual festival of two weeks of historical, cultural, and creative events celebrating all things St. Augustine. From May 3 -19, the nation's oldest city will be jam-packed with music and dance concerts, living history events and historical tours, live theater, and art exhibits.

St. Augustine Music Festival Juneteenth Concert

• "New Orleans meets Harlem" featuring the Marcus Roberts Trio will perform on June 19 in Lewis Auditorium at Flagler College, 14 Granada St., downtown St. Augustine, Florida. The Festival Chamber Orchestra will join the Marcus Roberts Trio during the second half of the program to perform Rhapsody in Blue on the 100th anniversary of George Gershwin's famous composition.
• The Juneteenth concert will be a ticketed event and more information will be provided at a later date. 2024 is the 60th anniversary of the signing of the Civil Rights Act on July 2, 1964. This concert will be one of many events in St. Augustine during the year highlighting this historic legislation and highlighting the extensive history of Civil Rights in St. Augustine.

Yoga on the Lawn at Ximenez-Fatio House Museum

• 8 Am - 9 Am
• Enjoy yoga on the lawn at the historic Ximenez-Fatio House Museum. This one-hour vinyasa flow is perfect for all levels.
• Bring a beach towel or mat and water. Free parking behind the museum is available, but limited. Access the parking lot from Cadiz Street. Instructor will contact you by phone if class is canceled due to weather. Practice gets underway at 8 a.m. and lasts approximately one hour.
• Cost is $15 and registration is required.
• 20 Aviles St., St. Augustine.

Paella Sunday at Pesca by Michael's

• 3 Pm - 5 Pm
• Enjoy Paella Sunday on the Porch of Pesca by Michael's on Vilano Beach from 3-5 p.m. Tickets are $35 and feature Paella changes weekly, A favorite is is Garden Paella with Chicken Skewers and Shrimp with chorizo on the side (to accommodate all dietary restrictions).
• Salad, Bread, and one complimentary glass of Sangria or Wine are included. Purchase Tickets online or at the door.
• Pesca is located at Hyatt Place, 117 Vilano Rd., St. Augustine.

I am unable to post the sources because they are getting flagged as spam since they are all similar in name. So please visit this site for the list.
Written out urls here tinyurl.com/yjkw32kd

For future events please visit the Discord.

https://discord.gg/NG4eZSWAgR

The moment a lot of you have been waiting for is here!
A couple of notes before you read (or after because I would just jump into the list right away too)

1. Direct quotes from Ali herself are in italics.
2. I tried my best to keep everything in timeline order. Some people like The Come Back Kid I placed in the order where they reconnected/talked about on the pod. But I did my best to note this.
3. All this information came from the FMH podcast, the Patreon, the original FMH blog, TikTok and other podcast that feature FMH/Ali. I also crossed reference information with this sub. I got most of this done with the help of the Patreon and listening to 1.75x speed but I lost accessed to the Patreon because my subscription ended.
4. I'm open to edits! Things around the matchmaker era confused me and if anything is incorrect or if I'm missing someone, please let me know! I will note where corrections are made.
5. Some people don't have anything simply because only a name was said or I couldn't find any details about the person/date
6. And of course, please be respectful of all the sub rules!

Names on the original FMH blog

• Mr. Adorable aka The Coach
• Trouble
• Waffles
• Future Husband Brian (FHB)
• Cookie
• Peter Pan
• Ambiguous Goodbye Guy
• Bad Bitch Man

AOL chatroom Boyfriend
Mentioned on Tiktok and on the pod once
Myspace Boyfriend
Mentioned on Tiktok
Third Boyfriend
Met on eCrush.com in 2002 and this was mentioned on the Cracked Up podcast, The Dave Glaser Podcast and Tiktok
The Kiwi
Met on a 2 week Model UN type youth trip in high school when Ali was 15, never a boyfriend but she had a huge crush on him, he tried to kiss Ali and she literally ran away, didn’t talk the rest of the trip but exchanged numbers and screen names (Ali’s was FineGal13 or BeachJewel760), she made him a mixtape cd called “Ali’s really cool mix for The Kiwi” but never sent it and she still has it. In 2021, he DM’d her when she posted photos of her and her mom in France and invites her to visit him in London, she says she can’t but says they should catch up if he comes to NYC
Fourth Boyfriend
Met on OkCupid when you had to use it on the computer, this was mentioned on Tiktok
The Homecoming Date or Light Switch
First boyfriend? (she goes back and forth calling him her first bf or a situationship), a family friend, a month younger than Ali, dated in high school but went to different high schools, football player, made him ask her to her Homecoming dance over email (her words), Ali hid in the bathroom the whole Homecoming dance, 3-4 revisits of this situations as adults, saw him on Bumble a few years ago and texted him that he had a typo in his bio, “he very much wanted to be with me” and now he’s married with a kid. His mom is still “obsessed” with Ali and she listens to FMH
Random college guy
Freshman year of college, Ali doesn’t have a nickname for him/doesn’t remember his real name, met this guy through a friend, was texting him to invite him over to hot tub but her phone autocorrected to “how about some hot rubbing tonight?” but Ali didn’t noticed/didn’t correct it and he never replied, Ali had a house party and got really drunk and was all over him, he left the party early, she messaged him on MySpace 3-4 times asking why he left
The Resident
Matched on Match.com, first guy she dated in NYC after college, older than Ali, a doctor, lasted 3 months ”maybe”, he didn’t like Ali’s friends, got a card from him on her birthday and it said “Love, The Resident” and it took Ali back a little, Ali drinks black coffee because of him, he coordinated having her mom visit NYC for her birthday then he broke up with her a week later
The Ghost
Met at a bar when she was 25, turns out they matched on OkCupid and they already had a date scheduled next week, they dated for 6-8 weeks, had sleepovers, “The worst ghosting experience I’ve ever had”, he borrowed The Great Gatsby from Ali’s roommate, planned to make dinner together after a beach trip in August with her friends and never showed up, Ali is blowing up his phone and gets no reply, two weeks later she finally texts “are you alive? check yes or no” and he responds “Yes”, Ali then ask if he could return the book and gets no reply again, 5 months go by and she receives the book in the mail with the note: “Here’s the book back. Sorry. P.S. sorry about last summer. I was in a bad place. You’re a great person and your salmon is amazing”, since then she has ran into him twice on the streets and matched with him on Bumble
The Coach/Mr. Adorable
First serious boyfriend at 26/27 in 2013, matched on Match.com or met through work depending if you’re listening to the pod or reading her OG blog, clean-cut look, played volleyball, Ali invited him to a friend’s birthday party and they made out in the streets at 4am, on their second date he asked Ali if she was seeing any one and when Ali said no he ask her to be his girlfriend 3 days after their first date, dated for almost 1.5 years or almost 2 years depending on if you’re listening to the pod or the Patreon, first time saying “I love you” to a guy, “lovely guy“, never would posted Ali on his instagram until Ali said something, he “lived” with her for two weeks while he was in between apartments, tried blind folding/hair pulling during sex and she didn’t like it, by the end of their relationship Ali didn’t like sex and thought she wasn’t a very sexual person, after they broke up Ali drunk texted him at 2am and he picked her up and she spent the night and she took her things in the morning in a rolly suitcase, from her blog in 2015: “I just want to be careful I don’t end up with another Mr. Adorable situation, where I find myself dating my platonic best friend”, had drinks with him in 2016 from the blog: “Not in a romantic way (at least on my end)”, Ali still talks to him sometimes through casual instagram DMs, he’s currently (as of 2021) dating someone for 4+ years and Ali thinks they’re going to get engaged
Trouble
OG 2015 FMH blog, never mentioned on the pod, “I was immediately enamored with him”, met at a Beer Olympic party but he worked with one of Ali’s best friends (Ali was still dating The Coach at the time), lived in BK, tattoos and stubble, Ali’s best friend said he was a “fuck boy”, “he very much made me see that it was the right thing for me and The Coach to not be together”, from her blog in 2015: “he has this look in his eye like he’s constantly laughing at me – in a super sexy way”, he texted her saying he didn’t see anything romantically with her and she sent a gif of someone shrugging
Personal side note: Ali has mentioned she has cheated on someone but never disclosed who she cheated on or with. I feel like she cheated on Mr.A/The Coach with Trouble because of the timeline. Just a guess.
Waffles
Matched on Bumble, OG 2015 FMH blog, he asked Ali fuck/marry/kill breakfast foods, dated 2 months around summer time, on Fourth of July while watching fireworks he said how they had a great day and Ali replied with something along the lines with “yeah, it would be better if I could call you my boyfriend”, he said he wanted a relationship but just not with Ali and shortly afterwards they stopped seeing each other
The Buffalo
Lived in Buffalo NY, 6’5, Scorpio, met in 2015 at Adults National volleyball (Ali’s team won that year) where he was heckling her while she was playing, asks Ali’s mom for her number and Ali’s mom said “I guess you’re tall enough” and told him to ask her himself, he flew her out and she met his parents, dated over summer, exclusive but never boyfriend/girlfriend (but called him her LD boyfriend on TikTok), texted and talked on the phone a lot, Ali’s best friend’s favorite ex “they had really good banter”, in October he invited her to his cousins wedding and she invited him to her friends wedding, after Ali bought her ticket to his cousins wedding (with the promise he would buy her ticket to her friend’s wedding) he ghosted and stonewalled her, she “poured her heart out to him on voicemail” and he never replied, she asked him to pay her back for her ticket and he got mad that she “made this about money”, 2 years later he told Ali that he freaked out because he really liked her and saw a future with her but knew she would never move to Buffalo and it would “never work”, Ali said at the time she would have considered moving for him, Ali used to have him blocked on Facebook and told all her friends not to update her on info about him (unless she asked). He’s now married and goes to Disney with his wife (which Ali kind of scoffs at?), Ali said on TikTok that she dodged a bullet
Baby Bic
Met him at Adults National years ago, had a flirtationship with him in 2016 when he was 19 years old, ran into him at the Adults Nationals 2021, last texts she got from him were about getting his fake ID taken away at the bar and him visiting her in NYC but Ali didn’t want to buy him beer and drink at her apartment
The Chef
Matched on Tinder around 2016, he loved karaoke, “total shit”, asked Ali to be his girlfriend and to meet his mom after a month, off and on dating, broke up the first time because he was talking to his ex, lied and flew to Mexico to see his ex while dating Ali, that ex sent Ali a Snapchat of them in bed together on that Mexico trip, Ali broke up with him via text and called him a shitty boyfriend, he’s the reason Ali deleted her Snapchat because of drunk Snaps he would send post break up, FB messaged Ali 6 years later (while Roark was visiting/staying with Ali) and said sorry for being a shit head. Ali’s best friends hated him
The Dentist
Met on Halloween in the wild, Canadian, dated NYE 2016- May 2017 “nice guy, not my guy”, one of Ali’s best friend’s favorite ex “he adored you, “he was too sweet for me” and “he had no edge to him”, he painted Ali’s cat for her 30th birthday but she was annoyed it was just Rory and not both cats, The Chef texted Ali while on a date/sleeping at his house
ASV - Aspiring Sober Vegan
Met through a friend (her best guy friend’s college roommate) the day before she had to fly out to her dad’s memorial, a doctor, into meditation, remembered him “being cuter” when they went on a first date, felt “the spark”, had “omg this is awesome sex”, Ali described this relationship as a “slow burn” and “the most attracted she ever been to a partner” even thought she didn’t think he was that cute in the beginning, dated 2-3 months before he tried to ghost Ali but they talked and broke up, four months later they start casually dating/FWB because he’s moving but this turns into a ‘middle distance relationship’ and he moves to Philly, had a lot of communication issues but didn't have a lot of fights, wants to live in Ohio and give a % of his income to charity, Ali was close to saying ‘I love you’ but didn’t, he uninvited her to meet his extended family and they got in a fight, broke up with her a couple weeks before their 6 month anniversary at the park while on a picnic and told her that she’s still his favorite person, Ali used to think he was “the one that got away” and would frequently have dreams about him. From what Ali knows, he's sober but not vegan
The Scientist
2017 or 2018ish, from San Diego, went on one date, Ali ended up ghosting him due to the decline in her dad’s health, saw him on Hinge while she was in San Diego for 3 months in 2020, texted him and apologized for ghosting him, ended up going on 2-3 more dates, took a selfie in front of his house and sent it to him but acted like she didn’t know that was his house and made a TikTok about it, things ended up not working but she doesn’t make it clear on who ended it. She can now see she shouldn’t have been going on dates during this time when her dad was sick.
Good on Paper Divorced Dude
Met a couple of years ago (she told this story on TikTok in 2020) on Bumble
The Groomsman
Met at her friend Ashley’s wedding in Chicago Oct 2019, had a “two night stand” with him, texted/talked/FT’d for 3-4 months, divorced, never dated seriously/FWB, saw each other a couple time when he came to NYC, Ali stopped talking with him due to FMH and her trying to find a serious relationship, he starts dating someone, follows FMH on insta, slid into her DM in 2022 and then sent her soup while she was sick, turns out he’s single again, 2 months later Ali is heading to Chicago and texts him “Hello! Reminder that my arrival to your neck of the woods is imminent” and turns out he is now seeing someone and Ali doesn’t see him while in Chicago (at least she doesn’t mention it)
Unnicknamed person
He was her plus one at her best friend from college’s NYE wedding 2019/2020, met and hung out with Ali’s mom, posted photos of them together on her personal Insta story, “fully dating but weren’t official hehe” doesn’t have a nickname/never gave him a nickname? This could be The Latvian/the person she texted her friend in DC about saying “I think I’m on a date with my husband”

Starts FMH on January 2020 on Instagram/TikTok

The Traveler
He was browsing Bumble while Ali was in the bathroom during their first date, he was banned from Bumble and was using his grandma phone number. Ali turned down a second date
The Duke
Early FMH, went for long periods of time in between texts, 7-8 Zoom dates while Ali was in San Diego and he was in NY, Ali said you could see three of his ex’s on his instagram page (without scrolling), they finally went on one date and it was “meh” but they did kiss on their date
The Oyster
Matched on Bumble (he had one photo and no bio) two weeks before Valentines Day, Gemini, a lawyer, part of the 13 First Dates in 30 Days series (he was #13), dated Feb 2020-Aug 2020, love bomber, felt “the spark” and became official after 3 dates, best first date ever??? at the time, said “I love you” to Ali after two weeks, “For most of my relationship with The Oyster, he didn’t live in the city he had moved to Connecticut without telling me”, would fight all the time, opposite political views, Ali felt like a “fucking summer camp director” because she planned all their dates and he would get upset if Ali didn't have a plan, sought out a therapist (Megan) because of her relationship struggles because of him, went to Mass/church, he wanted a traditional marriage/life/wife/kids (at one point had Ali thinking she wanted that), didn’t want to live in NYC, didn’t support BLM, Cindy hated him
The Pilot
Went on 3 dates, texted a lot, didn’t hear back from him in four days and when she said she was looking to date someone who showed more consistency, he replied saying he met someone the day after their last date who seems to have more free time than Ali and he wants to pursue that but would like to be friends, Ali said on TikTok that this other women “bent her schedule to his schedule” and she was unwilling to do that. Mostly talked about him on TikTok
The Analyst
Matched on Bumble two years ago and went on one date, re matched in 2021 and he stood Ali up, she send him a text “getting stood up” script and he never replied. Only mentioned him on TikTok (?)

Ali and Roark start FMH: The Podcast February 2021

The Boomerang
First date on the pod? I couldn't find anything else about him
The Scuba Diver
The Music Man
One date, “he didn’t do anything wrong, he’s just not for me”, amped up small talk, complimented Ali a lot which made her feel awkward cause she wasn’t feeling it, he texted her and asked for a second date and Ali sent the no ghosting script
The Bet
Uses the phrase “ok bet”, 28 years old shoe designer, only went on one dinner date to a spot he picked, turns out its cash only and he didn’t bring cash, was not into him , not looking for the same thing
The Dinosaur
Nickname was previously The Hawaiian, first date at Dinosaur BBQ, stood in a parking spot to save for Ali, he asked for a kiss after their date and Ali declined saying maybe next time
The Rose
He sent her a rose on hinge, first date was an hour long walk in the park while drinking beer
The Comic
Matched on Hinge, older than Ali (Ali’s friends express how happy they were to hear that), had brunch on their first date (was the first part of a double header but the second guy canceled), listed as “moderate” politically on Hinge, good and easy convo, went back and forth twice over text and then never heard back from him, “technically not ghosting...”
The Camper
Met in the wild at a volleyball tournament in July, lives in Chicago, 27 years old, hung out the whole time, over heard Ali asking someone to get her a make out partner, gave Ali his number, drunkly ask him for a FT date in the future and he didn’t reply, Ali texts him again about a volleyball thing and he replied back with not a lot of enthusiasm, Ali is going to Chicago in Sept for a volleyball tournament and she’s already planning on playing 4-on-4 with her best friend vs. his roommate and maybe The Camper, he texts her saying he has to work on the date of the tournament and won’t be able to do the 4-on-4 game, “I feel like I got broken up with someone I never want to date in the first place”

Ali’s Matchmaker contract starts in August 2021 - 6 matches

The Schmoozer
Went on a dinner date, was chatting up the waitress in a kind of creepy way, was bragging about a lot of things and it turned Ali off and Ali texted him her no ghosting script
The Accountant
1st matchmaker match, 31 years old, lives in BK, his dad has also passed away, easy to talk to, on the third date she wasn’t sure if she saw a future with him and in her gut doesn’t feel like this would be a slow burn, Ali breaks things off with him, months (?) later he sent Ali a 5 min long voice memo and they said they were both down to see each other as friends. He later on dated and ghosted Erica
The Aussie
Matched on Hinge, in politics, from Australia but lived all over the place, asked Ali what she’s looking for on the first date and he said he’s “casually looking for something serious”, Ali accidentally walks up to a different person on their second date, Ali texts him saying she would love to see him before he leaves on a trip and she wasn’t happy that it took him till the next day to reply and he can’t see her before he leaves
The Goalie
Was supposed to be Ali’s 2nd match, he’s a paying client, Ali didn’t hear back from him for a while when she told him where she lived, he wrote to the matchmaker saying that she lived too far away even though it states where she lives in her matchmaker profile
The Journalist
2nd matchmaker match, ended things because she was dating/pursuing things with The Discoball and paused her matchmakers matches

The Threepeat
Matched multiple times on dating apps but this recent time with Hinge, Amazon seller, first date was a pizza lunch date (with bubbles aka champagne) and he gave her a single yellow carnation, talked a lot about her “side hustles” aka her food blog, coaching, FMH and the pod (Ali didn’t mentioned the name on FMH), had an awkward half kiss during the date and then gave her a peck when they said goodbye, he had no night stands by his bed?, spent the night but told public pod they had a movie night, different kissing styles, 6 dates, broke things off with Ali two days before her first date with The Rower WHILE Ali was on a Halloween girls trip
The Rower
Dated from Halloween 2021 till early Feb 2022, Pisces who is 6 days older than Ali, has an ex-fiancé (they dated for 8 years, engaged for two of them, she broke off the engagement with him 1.5 years ago once he started dating Ali), has a shared dog with this ex, slept together around Xmas on the fourth date and Ali got a UTI, first time having “omg this is awesome sex” since ASV, first person Ali slept next to wearing an eye mask "that's a big step for me", had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, on New Years Day told her that he sees “long term relationship potential” with her but doesn’t want to be exclusive after 5 dates, “we didn’t talk all week”, he said he wasn’t as ready as he though to date someone seriously and “I don’t know why I don’t want to be in a relationship with you” they broke up over the phone, Ali said he’s a good human and wants to date someone like him, 3.5 weeks later Ali drunk texted him at 3:00 am saying “its really hard not to talk to you” which Ali said was a lie, he replied back (few days? A week later?) while Ali was on another date and it made her cry a bit, she replied back saying “the door is closed but not locked” in regards if he wants to get back together. “Fin… for now”

2022

The Discoball
Matched on Hinge but didn’t go on a first date for two week, Gemini, used to be a singer in a band, moved from DC to NYC, went on 7 dates in 2022, had a dog w/ ex and ex got full custody once he moved, met one of his friends on the second date, slept with him on the second date “morning and night”, he tried to find the podcast without knowing the name, podcasted from his house in DC, he would send Ali photos of them together “all the time”, gave a virtual presentation from his hotel room, did Molly together in DC, had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, moved to BK (didn’t see each other for 2 months pre-move), had a sex-less sleepover (a milestone for Ali), he showed up for her on her dad’s death date (something that a person she’s dating has never done), used to listen to the pod but stopped before they stopped seeing each other, ghosted her after they had a talk about moving things forward to exclusive and Ali texted him something along the lines of “your silence is the answer” when she didn’t hear back from him for a week and he ghosted her. Ali said he sucks in #77 AUA
Lisbon
The Brit
M&M
The Come Back Kid
They went on 2-3 dates in Nov 2018 and reconnected in May 2022, "felt immediately comfortable", sat next to a very drunk lady on their second 1st date and was supportive but "didn't step on Ali's toes" when the drunk lady said something offensive to Ali, couldn’t remember if they slept together or not, knows about FMH, ghosted Ali
The Trainer
The Cold Brew
The Nomad
3rd matchmaker match, reminded Ali of The Oyster, wanted kids and didn’t want to live in NYC forever, Ali was upset at first because her matchmaker was supposed to screen for that but the matchmaker DID check and it wasn’t mentioned when she was screening The Nomad, no second date because those are dealbreakers to him
The Catcher
Matched on Bumble, “good not great” after their first date, ~April 2022, talked about sports a lot on their first date
The Gentleman
4th matchmaker match, knew about Ali’s FMH socials before their date, Ali didn’t like his texting style, awkward intro on their first date “like hugging a 2 x 4”, he runs a dating event company and actually email Ali to be a guest on the pod when FMH first started, awkward goodbye, didn’t discuss the actual first date on the main pod because she doesn’t want to give him a reason to reach out again
The Tennis Pro
Ali had a good time on their date, “He is an adult, he’s mature” BUT “I don’t think he was into it”
The Padre
Matched on Bumble, 3 dates, from San Diego, “energy mismatch”, doesn’t want to know or listen to FMH, no psychical connection/kiss, only a kiss on the cheek on their last date, “I haven’t spoken to him since Friday night [a week]”, she didn’t want to do what The Threepeat did to her (break up while on vacation/traveling), she said it might be a MOO

Roark leaves and Erica joins the pod Oct 31st 2022

Captain Kirk
5th matchmaker match, found him on Bumble before their in-person date, ghosted Ali AND the matchmaker???
6th matchmaker match
Last match and Ali states she will not talk about this date or anything about it
JFK Kirk?
Matched on Bumble, didn’t realize he’s located in SD, exchanged personal instagram info, not sure where things went or how things ended

Kirk #1
Met in the wild, make out a lot the night they met, “stealing kisses throughout the night”, exchanged numbers, planned a date (no specifics, just the day) but when Ali texted him day of he asked to reschedule (no specifics again), he replied back that he’s picking up a rental car, told him she’s looking for someone to respect her time and he never replied back

2023

The Falcon
First date of 2023, matched on The League, first nickname was “League Kirk”, hard to talk to, felt like Ali was always reaching for the next topic, likes to travel, “there wasn’t a vibe”, MOO
The Roommate
Used to be her friend’s roommate and have met before (Ali doesn’t remember but it was the day after that exclusive convo with The Rower), “totally cute”, reunited at their mutual friend’s engagement party January 2023, made out at the bar, comes back to her place and sleeps over (no sex), Ali questions why her friends never set them up and its because he was taking a break from dating, first date they made out a lot at the bar (again), “I really felt like we were already a couple”, “It didn’t feel like a first date”, mentions her FMH content has popped up on his FYP, tried texting him after their date and he wasn’t giving effort, she’s glad she didn’t sleep with him because “one night stands aren’t my thing”, MOO
The Belgian
Matched on Bumble, accidentally had their first date during a trivia night at a bar, easy to talk to
The Viking
Ali forgot they had a first date on the day of said date
Tinder Man
Matched on Tinder (duh) on Valentine’s Day, first Tinder date in three years, good convo on first date but got a pushy vibe from him at the second bar they went to, put his hand up her sweater and was kissing her in the bar, made Ali uncomfortable and she told him that after her asked her on a second date
The Historian
Matched on Bumble, good conversation on the first date with a wide range of topics like “urban planning and its impact on feminism”, he’s in grad school
The Georgian
Matched on Hinge, he asked if she was free on Friday and she said yes but didn’t hear back from him in two days and in that time she made plans for Friday, rescheduled for a Saturday afternoon date at a dive bar, ate on her way to her date “it would be next level rude to eat on the subway”, good first date, talked about places he wants to take her to
The Publicist
Matched on Tinder, lives in BK, Jewish, one year younger then Ali, good first date, invited him to the Chaotic Singles Party that night, came over to Ali's apartment (which Ali said was messy) before and he made her favorite cocktail for her, a couple of listeners met him at the CSP, goofy and silly convo mixed with deep and serious convos, second date was at the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens and a tasting menu dinner, he made a Resy reservation and Ali got an email saying she was added to it ”fuck receiving gifts, THAT’S my love language”, he's into words like Ali, he sneezed and Ali said "God bless you" but then corrected herself and said "gesundheit" and he leaned over and kissed her and said he loves that she cares about her words, he met her friends on the third date ”It felt so easy. It felt so comfortable”, her friends took “sneaky” picture and videos of them together which Ali said she loves a sneaky pic, took all their date recap videos on his phone, cooked Ali steak on their fourth date, "it's very comfortable", had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, Ali met two of his friends and some of his teammates he plays a rec sport with, had sex the day they took a trip outside of the city, Erica met him before their trip to Greece and I said “he’s dorky in a good way”, WhatsApp video chatted while in Greece and told her “see you in two days!” at the end of their call, said she felt less anxious about him compared to other relationships while on vacation, sent him a birthday present while she was in Greece, felt an energy shift coming back from vacation and didn’t hear back from him 3 days after she came home, Ali requested a call to talk about this distances she was feeling, ”I did the 12 date rule and it didn’t work!”, she said the distance help her see that they’re not compatible, went on a total of 9 dates. Ali talks about the “break up” on episode 123
Mr. Chaotic
Matched on Tinder but he saw Ali at the Chaotic Singles Party and Cassidy the host is there mutual friend, went to a brewery and played games on their first date (Ali said this was her favorite first dates in episode 147 where they recapped 2023), works in entertainment industry, very high energy, knows about FMH and he said she's entertaining to watch, splits his time between NYC and some unknown city, texted while she was in Greece, ”The man gives good texts”
Random Matchmaker Match
Withdrew his match to Ali because he found her FMH socials. Talked about on #71 AUA
Gone with the Wind
Matchmaker match, said some gross things about women in volleyball outfits on their first date, Ali told her matchmaker about this, ”I would describe him as misogynistic overall”, Ali was glad he did say those weird things so early on so she didn’t waste her time, the matchmaker flagged his account. This was around June 2023
The Rock
Ali knows him from an activity that they used to be involved with in the city (she's very vague about what this is) from 8 years ago, he had a very serious/long term GF when they met, follows her personal Insta, has never talked about him because he’s never been a “prospect”, summer 2023 they met up to catch up and found out that he’s now recently single but he’s moving out of NYC for work, Ali texts Cindy saying she thinks this is a date, Cindy said to tell him that you really want to kiss him, he ends up telling Ali “I really want to kiss you”, made out at the bar, Ali invited him back to her apartment and they had sex the night before Ali ended things with The Publicist, “one night stand vibes” but she said she was down to do it again, Patreon only and talked about on #75 AUA
The Tourist
Matched on Hinge, just moved to Brooklynn, went to a brewery in BK for their first date, Ali showed up to the date dripping in sweat, allergic to cats, he sent Ali a ‘no ghosting’ text the next morning
The Stout
Matched on Bumble, ”we had really great banter right away”, laughed the whole time on their first date, talked about going on a second date during their first date
Speed Racer
Matched on Bumble, drinks first date, axe throwing second date, made out after their second date, MOO, randomly texted Ali ~6 months later because he said one of Ali’s date recap videos about him popped up on his FYP (Ali and Erica think this is a lie), he thought Ali wasn’t into him, he claims he was doing all the work with texting even though there was only a few messages since they exchanged numbers after their second date
Billy Joel
Recently sober, Ali said she felt like they had several inside jokes before they met in person, ate pizza on her way to their first date, second date was getting coffee and going to the museum, they cooked dinner together for their third date at Ali’s apartment and they watched 90 Day Fiancé (he didn’t like it), he Googled how to clean a red wine stain when it spilled on her countertop, he asked if she wanted to have sex and she turned it down, the next day/the day before a 7am flight Ali booty called him and they had sex, she was drunk and said the sex wasn’t good/they stopped mid way, helped Ali pack for her flight, Ali said he’s at a crossroad and he doesn’t seem like a long term fit, Erica found a condom on the ground while cat sitting, Ali said she didn’t regret hooking up with him but wishes she hadn’t done it, MOO
Sales Cycle
30 seconds in and Ali said he was very boring, only really talked about his job, stared at Ali’s boobs, “might be a MOO”, texted her ‘merry christmas’

2024

Pie Guy/Dr. Laundry
Matched on The League, 34 years old, requested a nickname change from Pie Guy to Dr. Laundry, he had to cancel their second date because he got hit by a car, went on two dates, Ali sent him a pic of his subway stop saying something along the lines of “the stop isn’t looking as cute today” and turns out someone he dated with in that photo, were supposed to go on a third date the night she got back from a bachelorette party but he didn't answer her text when she said she landed, the next day he asked her how her trip was not acknowledging her previous text at all, Ali expressed her disappointment and he replied that he was tired last night, she said she would've been understanding if he said something then ghosted her
Andddd I stopped listening to the podcast around the Dr. Pie Laundry Guy but have stayed up to date with everything via this sub.
I have a huge interest in dating culture, human behavior and data similar to Ali and this little project of mine was really interesting once I got the framework of this list. I started this list once I found this sub in December 2023 and started re listening to the Patreon while working out (and lost 10 lbs ayeee) and writing down information in my notes app. I did my best to keep this list unbiased and just give facts and information that was said.
My own thoughts after making this list is that I'm very sad for Ali. I didn't realize the extent of her dating history. I think about my own dating history or even my friends who are in their 30's and dating and Ali's dating lore runs so deep. Is Ali unlucky with love? Did she pass on someone that could have been great for her? How has she had so many dates with little success in a long term partner or even going beyond 6-8 dates? Or is Skyline the person she has been waiting for? What's the pattern with all this dates/men? So many questions.
I truly do hope Ali finds her guy because I believe theres someone for everyone. Until then, I'll be hopping into this sub (cause y'all are too funny and give the best advice) and waiting for Ali to find Mr. Height.
Enjoy and I look forward to everyone thoughts! I'll keep my eye out for any edits that need to be made.
Bonus quotes:
“Longest relationship was a little under a year and a half. Haven’t made it past 6 months with anyone else” - AUA #7 11/27/21
“I spent the first 10+ years of my dating life being sort of perennially single” -1. The Actual First One episode 2/21/21
"I think my parent's story is the reason why I think that I can romantically get back together with an ex and it'll work out" -The Dave Glaser Podcast 4/5/21
“Almost every relationship I’ve ever been in, with a couple of exceptions, started as a situationship.” -21. The Undefined One 7/11/21
“All of my boyfriends have been white” -Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“You definitely need an older guy” -Cindy on Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“I’ve been on the dating apps since high school. Dating websites at the time” -Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“Who would be the perfect man for Ali?”
“Clearly a combination of the The Dentist and [the early stages of] The Buffalo” -Cindy on Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“Do you consider The Rower or Disco ball to have been situationships?”
“No, I don't consider either The Rower or The Disco Ball to be situationships” -question asked on TikTok 11/9/22

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10K White Gold Fuchsia CZ Heart Necklace and Earrings Set with 18” Rope Chain Signed 10K 4.39g - $135
https://imgur.com/a/6K5i5E7
40g of 14K scrap @ 95% spot - $43.02/gram (Abunch of cheap Walmart Jewelry & a broken necklace)
5.4g of 10K scrap @ 95% spot - $30.72/gram (Abunch of cheap Walmart Necklaces)
Sterling Silver Necklaces:
20” x ½” HEAVY Figaro Chain 238g - $425
https://imgur.com/a/Y5zO5TV
30” x 6.5mm Italian Curb Chain - 54.47g - $109
https://imgur.com/a/ChMAGwi
16” Italian San Marco Chain with 7” San Marco Bracelet 62.3g - $115
https://imgur.com/a/9IS5uhF
31” Puff Heart Necklace with Italy Rope Chain 15.4g - $35
https://imgur.com/a/LXEXGG5
30.5” Box Chain with Owl Pendant / Brooch (has attachments for both) 11.63g - $33
https://imgur.com/a/pTaT52q
18” Italian Byzantine Chain / Necklace 12.21g - $27.50 (Sold)
19” Italian Square Herringbone Style Sterling Chain with Czech Pendant - 6.28g - $20
https://imgur.com/a/ANY2KWM
18” Italian Sterling Box Chain with Ross Simon Cross Pendant 2.61g - $20
https://imgur.com/a/L8DjEYl
20” Italian Gold Vermeil Fancy Rope Chain 5.34g - $20 (Sold)
17.5” Lotus Studio Aventurine Sterling Necklace 2.11g - $12 (Sold)
16” Sterling Abstract Glass Pendant Necklace 15.96g - $25
https://imgur.com/a/c2X7Ykq
18” 925 Box Chain with Synthetic 14x10mm Sapphire Pendant & Matching Earrings with 10x8mm Sapphires 8.12g - $30
https://imgur.com/a/8WAi9jl
18” 925 Gold Vermeil Box Chain with Pear Cut Ceylon Sapphire Pendant & Matching Triangle CZ Earrings 12.13g - $30
https://imgur.com/a/DbenkRb
20” Italian Millefiori Necklace with Circular Glass Pendant 3.18g - $25
https://imgur.com/a/UxC0pBf
15.5” Italian Millefiori Bead Necklace 3.98g - $20
https://imgur.com/a/OXOxnYk
15.5” Italian Murano Style Necklace (Note the wire is ferrous for strength, clasp and non-stone charms are sterling) - $15
https://imgur.com/a/UoyGHPq
15” Native American Fetish Necklace (Note the wire is elastic material for strength, beads and pendants are sterling) - $30
https://imgur.com/a/4OQKVFr
17” Sterling Bead / Clasp Turquoise Nugget Necklace (Note the wire is ferrous material for strength, beads and clasp are sterling) - $15
https://imgur.com/a/5ikva93
Sterling Silver Bracelets & Pendants: https://imgur.com/a/UZ3M9PR
8.5” x ½” Heavy Curb Bracelet 53.6g - $105
Taxco 7.5” Juan Luis Flores 70s Vintage Bracelet 43.49g - $87
Sterling Flower Filigree Bracelet 8” 10.19g - $30
Sterling Rose & Garnet Tennis Bracelet 7.5” 13.43g - $35
Ross Simon Sterling Rose Quartz Aventurine Tennis Bracelet 7” 9.50g - $30
Sterling Native American Bear Bracelet (Note the wire is ferrous for strength, clasp and non-stone charms are sterling) - $40
Sterling Silver 2-Strand Malachite Bracelet 7” 2.32g - $20
Sterling Clasp Faceted AB Crystal Bracelet with amazing sparkle (Note the wire is ferrous for strength, only clasp is sterling) 7” - $15
Taxco Hummingbird Pendant / Brooch (has both attachments) 11.95g - $24
Sterling Pink CZ Butterfly Bracelet 7.25” 7.5g - $27.50
Sterling Silver Earrings: https://imgur.com/a/rTrTKTE
Larimar Dangle Earrings 1g - $12
Dolphin Jumping through Hoop Drop Earrings 6.86g - $15
Taxco Sterling Half Circle Bohemian Hoop Earrings 9.24g - $20
Taxco Sterling Triangle Drop Earrings 9.43g - $18
Taxco Sterling Shell / Feather Drop Earrings 6.01g - $15
Taxco Sterling Triangle / Bead Drop Earrings 21.79g - $25
Flower Drop Earrings with Aquamarine Stones 9.28g - $25
Teardrop Shaped Earring with Black Beads 5.13g - $15
Concentric Oval Earrings 2.05g - $12
Leaf / White Opal Studs (Brilliant Luster on these) 2.22g - $40
Vintage Filigree Sterling Drop Earrings (Super intricate) 14.33g - $20
Vintage Sterling Dragonfly Earrings 12.39g - $20
Heart Shaped Drop Earrings with Lapis Stones 5.22g - $15
Sterling Silver Rings: https://imgur.com/gallery/65jVHip
Bali Swirl Design Sterling Ring Size 7-1/2 11.06g - $27.50
Large 925 Ring with CZ Size 6 5.97g - $18
Large 925 Ring with CZ and Flower Engraving Size 6 9.28g - $18
925 Ring with Bands of CZ Size 6 5.9g - $18
Wedding Band Style 925 Ring with Moissanite Size 6 2.41g - $18
Shablool Didae Israeli Filigree Style Ring Size 7.5 One-of-a-kind 8g - $25
Sterling Silver Kitchen / Dining (MOST @ 95%): https://imgur.com/a/QW6x0ot
Porter Blanchard Sterling Tea Pot 612g - $543.25 (95% of SPOT)
Gorham Sterling Footed Bowl 619g - $549.50 (95% of SPOT)
Sterling Coasters (2) 86g - $76.50 (95% of SPOT)
Pimaral Peru Sterling Serving Set 311g - $276 (95% of SPOT)
Gorham Sterling Etruscan Spoon & Butter Pick 71g - $63 (95% of SPOT)
International Sterling Joan of Arc 5 Piece Set 204g - $181 (95% of SPOT)
Assorted Sterling Spoons (Unmarked and the smaller two are thin) 44g - $39 (95% of SPOT)
English Shell by Lunt Sterling Silver Soup Spoons (4) 135g - $119.75 (95% of SPOT)
La Touraine by Reed & Barton Sterling Tea Spoon 30.34g - $27 (95% of SPOT)
Lunt Lus60 Sterling Silver Salt Spoon 2.94g - $10
51.15g of Sterling Scrap @ 90% - $43
https://i.imgur.com/nHVssYc.jpg