I have brown spots on my body
HairDye
2013.03.16 16:46 ModestSilence HairDye
The HairDye community is devoted to hair dye and dyed hair. Any posts of your dyed hair, or questions relating to dying your hair are welcomed; Anything from Brown to Rainbow. So go ahead, let the world see your gloriously dyed hair!
2016.07.23 02:42 Bocaj1000 True stories and sightings of the pale, thin cryptid
Crawler is a commonly-seen cryptid with pale skin, long-limbs, and a tall, thin body. They are generally seen around 8 feet tall if standing. There are stories of this creature all throughout America, and it has even inspired modern culture such as Until Dawn's Wendigo, the Rake, and Slenderman.
2014.03.06 00:54 selfabortion Two-Sentence Horror Stories: Bite-sized scares.
Give us your scariest story in two sentences (or less)!
2024.05.19 06:12 thatbumasschick What is this?
 | Please tell me this isn't a brown recluse? I saw the brown body with light brown butt and freaked, smooshed it. If it's not a brown recluse, then what is it because this is the fourth one spotted in my house by just me alone. My roommates have seen them too. submitted by thatbumasschick to whatsthisbug [link] [comments] |
2024.05.19 06:10 PunkPrincess_02 I please men and write about it. Attached is a true story. If interested read my bio and PM me.
The sun was setting on our way up McKelligon Canyon. We had hoped the sun would set before we got to our destination. It wasn’t looking good, we might not get the privacy we were hoping for as the area was filled with runners and cyclists.
I made small talk trying to calm your nerves. We discussed my stories and what they did to you, every word turning you on. You wanted to find out if indeed I was as good as I claimed to be and now you were about to find out. Were my lips soft enough to massage your dick? Was my throat big enough to take your dick? Would it be as slippery and sloppy just how I described it?
We arrived at our spot, the sun still out. Surrounding us was desert brush, picnic tables, and people enjoying the evening. I thought your nerves would ask me to take you back but instead you jumped to my backseat, and let me know you were ready.
I joined you in the backseat and that’s when you let me know you were nervous. No one had ever made you cum from a blow job before. I took the challenge and reassured you that my mouth had never failed to make a guy cum.
You quickly pulled your shorts down and positioned your hips towards me and waited. I placed one hand on the seat, leaned over and used the other to hold your dick.
The tip of my tongue meets the bottom of your shaft and your balls. My mouth swiftly moves over your cock then down all the way till my lips reach your pubes. I slowly pulled up releasing each inch as your dick is inflated. It was no longer soft but rock solid. You released sounds of pleasure and confirmed my lips felt good.
You push my head down and thrust your hips up. You lean back as my mouth is filled with your cock. You hold me down for a moment. The warm feeling of my tongue pressed against you, felt good. With a tight squeeze I managed to move my tongue in circular motions sending chills all over your body.
I come back up, releasing strings of mixed saliva and precum. I pull back as you observe a clear string of saliva briefly connecting from the top of your head to my lips. When it snaps, I know it’s time for me to return your dick down my throat.
While I pleased your dick, I couldn’t help but rub my hands up and down your smooth crack and balls. My tongue and mouth had already impressed you with my oral skills, I wonder how you would feel if my tongue traveled down your crack.
I start under your balls, my tongue is on a mission to give you the best orgasm. Traveling down your taint, my tongue finally reaches your hole. You didn’t hesitate or stop. You instead release a soft moan. I gently licked up and down your hole, then swirled in and around. My hands holding on to your dick, it wasn’t forgotten.
I return to your mouth watering dick. My craving for it made your dick easily slip and slide in and out of my mouth. My lips reach the bottom of your shaft where I held it for a second. Your head snug up in my throat, my saliva escaping the corners of my lips and soaking your pubes. I pull back up and right as I release your cock from my mouth like a monsoon of saliva falls down on to your dick and drips down all over you.
No longer nervous and lost in the euphoric feeling, you take off your shirt. Now, you’re completely naked only wearing blank socks, and ready to cum. You stroke your cock and enjoy the sounds of mixed precum and saliva. You admit you like it extra sloppy. So I lean down and begin to release saliva onto your head all over your hand while you stroke hard.
I hold my lips pressed against your head, and with every thrust of your hand I slightly open. I tease your head with my tongue and lick your fingers. Making sure that in between I release warm saliva now dripping all over your cock and hands.
The slippery feeling of my saliva and the warm feeling of mouth must have been enough to make you explode. You release large amounts of creamy white cum all over your pubes and stomach. I press my lips against your cum then pull back creating a string of cum from your head to my mouth. I did this a couple of times before I asked if I lived up to my stories. You said I did and gave me a 10/10.
submitted by PunkPrincess_02 to ElPasoSeriousDating [link] [comments]
I made small talk trying to calm your nerves. We discussed my stories and what they did to you, every word turning you on. You wanted to find out if indeed I was as good as I claimed to be and now you were about to find out. Were my lips soft enough to massage your dick? Was my throat big enough to take your dick? Would it be as slippery and sloppy just how I described it?
We arrived at our spot, the sun still out. Surrounding us was desert brush, picnic tables, and people enjoying the evening. I thought your nerves would ask me to take you back but instead you jumped to my backseat, and let me know you were ready.
I joined you in the backseat and that’s when you let me know you were nervous. No one had ever made you cum from a blow job before. I took the challenge and reassured you that my mouth had never failed to make a guy cum.
You quickly pulled your shorts down and positioned your hips towards me and waited. I placed one hand on the seat, leaned over and used the other to hold your dick.
The tip of my tongue meets the bottom of your shaft and your balls. My mouth swiftly moves over your cock then down all the way till my lips reach your pubes. I slowly pulled up releasing each inch as your dick is inflated. It was no longer soft but rock solid. You released sounds of pleasure and confirmed my lips felt good.
You push my head down and thrust your hips up. You lean back as my mouth is filled with your cock. You hold me down for a moment. The warm feeling of my tongue pressed against you, felt good. With a tight squeeze I managed to move my tongue in circular motions sending chills all over your body.
I come back up, releasing strings of mixed saliva and precum. I pull back as you observe a clear string of saliva briefly connecting from the top of your head to my lips. When it snaps, I know it’s time for me to return your dick down my throat.
While I pleased your dick, I couldn’t help but rub my hands up and down your smooth crack and balls. My tongue and mouth had already impressed you with my oral skills, I wonder how you would feel if my tongue traveled down your crack.
I start under your balls, my tongue is on a mission to give you the best orgasm. Traveling down your taint, my tongue finally reaches your hole. You didn’t hesitate or stop. You instead release a soft moan. I gently licked up and down your hole, then swirled in and around. My hands holding on to your dick, it wasn’t forgotten.
I return to your mouth watering dick. My craving for it made your dick easily slip and slide in and out of my mouth. My lips reach the bottom of your shaft where I held it for a second. Your head snug up in my throat, my saliva escaping the corners of my lips and soaking your pubes. I pull back up and right as I release your cock from my mouth like a monsoon of saliva falls down on to your dick and drips down all over you.
No longer nervous and lost in the euphoric feeling, you take off your shirt. Now, you’re completely naked only wearing blank socks, and ready to cum. You stroke your cock and enjoy the sounds of mixed precum and saliva. You admit you like it extra sloppy. So I lean down and begin to release saliva onto your head all over your hand while you stroke hard.
I hold my lips pressed against your head, and with every thrust of your hand I slightly open. I tease your head with my tongue and lick your fingers. Making sure that in between I release warm saliva now dripping all over your cock and hands.
The slippery feeling of my saliva and the warm feeling of mouth must have been enough to make you explode. You release large amounts of creamy white cum all over your pubes and stomach. I press my lips against your cum then pull back creating a string of cum from your head to my mouth. I did this a couple of times before I asked if I lived up to my stories. You said I did and gave me a 10/10.
2024.05.19 06:06 cmkrog Perimenopause long period the pill
I recently had a dramatic event and had several panic attacks. I'm 45 and have missed my last few periods. haven't been on the pill since my early 20's and wanted to do perimenopause naturally. After this event, I had some brown sluffing for a week and then had a semi normal period. Now it's close to 3 weeks and continue to have red spotting. I talked to my doctor and she put me on the low dose pill. I woke up today and it was so much better. Then tonight came and I'm back to red spotting. How long does the pill start working to make it completely go away? Thank you for any help. I deal with extreme anxiety and I feel like once I calm down, the quicker this will go away.
submitted by cmkrog to birthcontrol [link] [comments]
2024.05.19 06:01 JustSayIt_Pls Tell them you love them. Don't make the same mistake I made.
Hello all. I wanted to share this story in the hopes you don’t make the same mistake I did.
I (27m) have always had issues expressing my love for people. I know I love people like my family and friends, I just can’t bring myself to tell them. It has been at least 12 years since I have told my mom that I loved her, even though I cannot imagine going through life without her. I told my dad that I loved him when he was going through a rough spot with my mom 6 years ago and we both broke down crying, which made me not want to do that again in a way. It took me 18 months to tell my girlfriend that I loved her and it was an intense moment for me. I don’t know why I have so much trouble telling people they matter to me, but that may be something to explore in therapy.
3 years ago, I lost my uncle to pancreatic cancer. I found out in October the previous year and he was dead by April - in 6 months, he went from functional to in horrible pain and dying. His wife was useless as they had not been getting along so it was my parents and me that cared for him. I took him to countless doctor appointments, chemotherapy and radiation treatments, and emergency trips to the ER. I was happy to do it. He and I had a close bond as I was growing up. He would take me to McDonalds on weekends and include me in his family’s celebrations (he was my uncle by marriage). We weren’t related by blood but he treated me as such and I will forever be grateful.
In the week before his death, I had to take a work trip out of town. I was working in a position that was essential to coordinating different in-person operations of a company during the pandemic so I could not opt out. The night I left, I stopped by his house. His wife was ignoring him and he was alone in the guest room watching YouTube videos. It was clear he was hoping to talk to someone. I got a status report from him and just chatted for a bit. During the entire conversation, each muscle in my body and thought in my hear was screaming at me to tell him how much I loved him and appreciated his time as I grew up. I desperately wanted to tell him how much he meant to me and the profound impact he had on my life. Looking at him, I knew he was going to die very soon. I started to tell him but kept stopping and mentioning something else. I couldn’t do it. My last words to him were “See you next time.” and I patted him on the shoulder.
He died one week later. That was my last interaction with him.
When I got the news he died, I was devastated. I was driving back to town and hoped to meet him, but he died about 4 hours before I got there. It was the toughest drive I have ever had to make. The time between his death and the funeral was a daze. We were incredibly lucky to get a funeral booked during that time due to the COVID deaths and his entire family all came up to me and told me how much he appreciated and respected me. All I could do was thank them.
In the weeks and months after the funeral, I kept thinking about how much of a coward I was. I didn’t give a dying man I loved the message because I was too afraid to do it? I couldn’t believe that. To this day, I still think this is the worst thing I have ever done (or not done) because he needed it and I just couldn’t share how I felt. I wonder to what extent I am capable of incredible cruelty for not sharing, and whether I could tell my mom or dad I loved them on their deathbed. I wonder if it makes me a bad person, or perhaps an incredibly broken one?
I urge you to avoid my mistake. You only live once and it’s really difficult to regret telling someone how much they mean to you, but INCREDIBLY easy to regret not telling them. I just started a new job with therapy benefits so I will be taking advantage of that, but I sincerely hope you tell someone how much you love them. Don’t live with the incredible guilt I live with.
Thank you for listening.
submitted by JustSayIt_Pls to offmychest [link] [comments]
I (27m) have always had issues expressing my love for people. I know I love people like my family and friends, I just can’t bring myself to tell them. It has been at least 12 years since I have told my mom that I loved her, even though I cannot imagine going through life without her. I told my dad that I loved him when he was going through a rough spot with my mom 6 years ago and we both broke down crying, which made me not want to do that again in a way. It took me 18 months to tell my girlfriend that I loved her and it was an intense moment for me. I don’t know why I have so much trouble telling people they matter to me, but that may be something to explore in therapy.
3 years ago, I lost my uncle to pancreatic cancer. I found out in October the previous year and he was dead by April - in 6 months, he went from functional to in horrible pain and dying. His wife was useless as they had not been getting along so it was my parents and me that cared for him. I took him to countless doctor appointments, chemotherapy and radiation treatments, and emergency trips to the ER. I was happy to do it. He and I had a close bond as I was growing up. He would take me to McDonalds on weekends and include me in his family’s celebrations (he was my uncle by marriage). We weren’t related by blood but he treated me as such and I will forever be grateful.
In the week before his death, I had to take a work trip out of town. I was working in a position that was essential to coordinating different in-person operations of a company during the pandemic so I could not opt out. The night I left, I stopped by his house. His wife was ignoring him and he was alone in the guest room watching YouTube videos. It was clear he was hoping to talk to someone. I got a status report from him and just chatted for a bit. During the entire conversation, each muscle in my body and thought in my hear was screaming at me to tell him how much I loved him and appreciated his time as I grew up. I desperately wanted to tell him how much he meant to me and the profound impact he had on my life. Looking at him, I knew he was going to die very soon. I started to tell him but kept stopping and mentioning something else. I couldn’t do it. My last words to him were “See you next time.” and I patted him on the shoulder.
He died one week later. That was my last interaction with him.
When I got the news he died, I was devastated. I was driving back to town and hoped to meet him, but he died about 4 hours before I got there. It was the toughest drive I have ever had to make. The time between his death and the funeral was a daze. We were incredibly lucky to get a funeral booked during that time due to the COVID deaths and his entire family all came up to me and told me how much he appreciated and respected me. All I could do was thank them.
In the weeks and months after the funeral, I kept thinking about how much of a coward I was. I didn’t give a dying man I loved the message because I was too afraid to do it? I couldn’t believe that. To this day, I still think this is the worst thing I have ever done (or not done) because he needed it and I just couldn’t share how I felt. I wonder to what extent I am capable of incredible cruelty for not sharing, and whether I could tell my mom or dad I loved them on their deathbed. I wonder if it makes me a bad person, or perhaps an incredibly broken one?
I urge you to avoid my mistake. You only live once and it’s really difficult to regret telling someone how much they mean to you, but INCREDIBLY easy to regret not telling them. I just started a new job with therapy benefits so I will be taking advantage of that, but I sincerely hope you tell someone how much you love them. Don’t live with the incredible guilt I live with.
Thank you for listening.
2024.05.19 05:25 slumberingdreams 22[M4F] California/Anywhere - Nerd looking for plus size
Hey there, I'm looking for someone new to talk to with the possibility of it becoming something more! (as the title says, I do prefer much larger body types as they're cute to me, but please know I'm not looking for sexual chat!) I really love learning about people, and would love to learn about someone new, about their passions and interests, and have someone who loves doing the same in return! I ideally would like to talk on discord eventually!
As the title says, I'm definitely more of a nerd than anything, haha. I love reading, cooking and baking, video games, and generally more homebody hobbies. I currently live in California and I'm going to start my first year of College this fall! To describe myself, I'm around 5'10, dark brown hair, hazel eyes, and I'm on the chubby side myself (although I'm losing weight, down 10 pounds and counting!). I'm also asexual, so I'd like someone who's okay with that!
For a partner, I'd ideally want someone genuine and caring, and while not required, it'd really help if you shared some of my hobbies! I don't have many appearance preferences, tbh!
submitted by slumberingdreams to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]
As the title says, I'm definitely more of a nerd than anything, haha. I love reading, cooking and baking, video games, and generally more homebody hobbies. I currently live in California and I'm going to start my first year of College this fall! To describe myself, I'm around 5'10, dark brown hair, hazel eyes, and I'm on the chubby side myself (although I'm losing weight, down 10 pounds and counting!). I'm also asexual, so I'd like someone who's okay with that!
For a partner, I'd ideally want someone genuine and caring, and while not required, it'd really help if you shared some of my hobbies! I don't have many appearance preferences, tbh!
2024.05.19 05:08 jakethatsame 21 [M4F] Queensland Australia, just a little guy looking for his soul mate🥰
Hi nice to meet you I’m Haydn!
I’m looking for a serious long term relationship, someone who I can spend the rest of my life with and be the perfect homebody hubby. But I’m also more than happy to be friends and see where things go. Also I’m down for Long distance too!
I’m a hopeless romantic so if I love you, I’ll LOVE you. I am emotionally available pretty much all the time. I’m caring and supportive and I love being there for people.
My interests include but are not limited too
-Gaming (I love the classics like COD/Halo/Bioshock/dark souls/ all that stuff. And I’m a Xbox guy mostly but I’ll play anything as long as it’s fun!)
-Movies and shows ( marvel/DC/Transforms/pacific rim/a lot of war movies/star wars/star trek/How To Train Your Dragon/Fight Club/Heat/Doctor who/dragon ball/Naruto/Bo Jack Horseman/gravity falls)
-Animation both 2D and 3D
-Philosophy and psychology (I love learning about social economics and geopolitics)
-Military stuff (I’m from a military family on my dads side
-Vehicles (both land, air and sea)
-sports (Group B Rally for ever!)
-Writing (I’ve got a few stories)
-music (my favourites are Hanz Zimmer and John Williams) (also I have a tendency to think up entire stories when I listen to music and daydream) (I mostly prefer soundtracks and instrumentals)
food (I love cooking healthy!, specifically anything to do with spaghetti Bolognese!)
And much much more!
I’m a 5,2 short king, 21 year old guy with an average build and bear type body. I have brown heir and hazel eyes
So send me a message sometime because I’d love to get to know you!
submitted by jakethatsame to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]
I’m looking for a serious long term relationship, someone who I can spend the rest of my life with and be the perfect homebody hubby. But I’m also more than happy to be friends and see where things go. Also I’m down for Long distance too!
I’m a hopeless romantic so if I love you, I’ll LOVE you. I am emotionally available pretty much all the time. I’m caring and supportive and I love being there for people.
My interests include but are not limited too
-Gaming (I love the classics like COD/Halo/Bioshock/dark souls/ all that stuff. And I’m a Xbox guy mostly but I’ll play anything as long as it’s fun!)
-Movies and shows ( marvel/DC/Transforms/pacific rim/a lot of war movies/star wars/star trek/How To Train Your Dragon/Fight Club/Heat/Doctor who/dragon ball/Naruto/Bo Jack Horseman/gravity falls)
-Animation both 2D and 3D
-Philosophy and psychology (I love learning about social economics and geopolitics)
-Military stuff (I’m from a military family on my dads side
-Vehicles (both land, air and sea)
-sports (Group B Rally for ever!)
-Writing (I’ve got a few stories)
-music (my favourites are Hanz Zimmer and John Williams) (also I have a tendency to think up entire stories when I listen to music and daydream) (I mostly prefer soundtracks and instrumentals)
food (I love cooking healthy!, specifically anything to do with spaghetti Bolognese!)
And much much more!
I’m a 5,2 short king, 21 year old guy with an average build and bear type body. I have brown heir and hazel eyes
So send me a message sometime because I’d love to get to know you!
2024.05.19 05:07 jakethatsame 21 [M4F] Queensland Australia, just a little guy looking for his soul mate🥰
Hi nice to meet you I’m Haydn!
I’m looking for a serious long term relationship, someone who I can spend the rest of my life with and be the perfect homebody hubby. But I’m also more than happy to be friends and see where things go. Also I’m down for Long distance too!
I’m a hopeless romantic so if I love you, I’ll LOVE you. I am emotionally available pretty much all the time. I’m caring and supportive and I love being there for people.
My interests include but are not limited too
-Gaming (I love the classics like COD/Halo/Bioshock/dark souls/ all that stuff. And I’m a Xbox guy mostly but I’ll play anything as long as it’s fun!)
-Movies and shows ( marvel/DC/Transforms/pacific rim/a lot of war movies/star wars/star trek/How To Train Your Dragon/Fight Club/Heat/Doctor who/dragon ball/Naruto/Bo Jack Horseman/gravity falls)
-Animation both 2D and 3D
-Philosophy and psychology (I love learning about social economics and geopolitics)
-Military stuff (I’m from a military family on my dads side
-Vehicles (both land, air and sea)
-sports (Group B Rally for ever!)
-Writing (I’ve got a few stories)
-music (my favourites are Hanz Zimmer and John Williams) (also I have a tendency to think up entire stories when I listen to music and daydream) (I mostly prefer soundtracks and instrumentals)
food (I love cooking healthy!, specifically anything to do with spaghetti Bolognese!)
And much much more!
I’m a 5,2 short king, 21 year old guy with an average build and bear type body. I have brown heir and hazel eyes
So send me a message sometime because I’d love to get to know you!
submitted by jakethatsame to r4r [link] [comments]
I’m looking for a serious long term relationship, someone who I can spend the rest of my life with and be the perfect homebody hubby. But I’m also more than happy to be friends and see where things go. Also I’m down for Long distance too!
I’m a hopeless romantic so if I love you, I’ll LOVE you. I am emotionally available pretty much all the time. I’m caring and supportive and I love being there for people.
My interests include but are not limited too
-Gaming (I love the classics like COD/Halo/Bioshock/dark souls/ all that stuff. And I’m a Xbox guy mostly but I’ll play anything as long as it’s fun!)
-Movies and shows ( marvel/DC/Transforms/pacific rim/a lot of war movies/star wars/star trek/How To Train Your Dragon/Fight Club/Heat/Doctor who/dragon ball/Naruto/Bo Jack Horseman/gravity falls)
-Animation both 2D and 3D
-Philosophy and psychology (I love learning about social economics and geopolitics)
-Military stuff (I’m from a military family on my dads side
-Vehicles (both land, air and sea)
-sports (Group B Rally for ever!)
-Writing (I’ve got a few stories)
-music (my favourites are Hanz Zimmer and John Williams) (also I have a tendency to think up entire stories when I listen to music and daydream) (I mostly prefer soundtracks and instrumentals)
food (I love cooking healthy!, specifically anything to do with spaghetti Bolognese!)
And much much more!
I’m a 5,2 short king, 21 year old guy with an average build and bear type body. I have brown heir and hazel eyes
So send me a message sometime because I’d love to get to know you!
2024.05.19 05:03 pinkanonymous444 iud & late period?
hi so i got this iud inserted on feb 14 i was bleeding for about 3 weeks straight had estrogen pills added in didnt bleed for a week then bled for like 1-2 months on & off its may now i’ve had a lot of unprotected sex with my boyfriend but over the last i wanna say 3 weeks i’ve had spotting here & there some pink some dark red but extreme cramping i’m talking crying gonna throw up body aches, mood swings, cravings (this has been honestly for 2 months now but my bf diet has rubbed off on me) definitely bloating & my boobs haven’t exactly been hurting but maybe bigger? (they grow a lot on IUDs for me idk why)
i’m taking a test tomorrow but is there a chance im pregnant? my sister got pregnant while taking BC & using a condom, it was an implantation pregnancy. she was even told she couldn’t have kids. i’m really freaked out this also is not my first iud i had one put in (Kyleena) a year ago, in december it fell out due to heavy bleeding from an infection, had mirena put in January, taken out february 14th with my current kyleena
i bled sometimes heavy but mostly light just for 10-13 days last year when i had it put in i’m pretty wigged out because im part of the 1% people whose symptoms are always odd & rare so it can honestly just be the IUD adjusting to my system & removing my period all together
submitted by pinkanonymous444 to amipregnant [link] [comments]
i’m taking a test tomorrow but is there a chance im pregnant? my sister got pregnant while taking BC & using a condom, it was an implantation pregnancy. she was even told she couldn’t have kids. i’m really freaked out this also is not my first iud i had one put in (Kyleena) a year ago, in december it fell out due to heavy bleeding from an infection, had mirena put in January, taken out february 14th with my current kyleena
i bled sometimes heavy but mostly light just for 10-13 days last year when i had it put in i’m pretty wigged out because im part of the 1% people whose symptoms are always odd & rare so it can honestly just be the IUD adjusting to my system & removing my period all together
2024.05.19 04:56 Az-Frankie21 Why? What’s going on?
Why am I getting paired with low tiered players? I thought this game was based on SBMM??
I earned my spot in hall of fame and I haven’t went down. So why am I getting paired with 💩 teammates? I played two games with brown and silver and black and they all FKN SOLD! I don’t get this game! I’m tired of having to back out to find a decent squad. 2k fix your fkn game man
And I’m SICK of the event ad popping up everyone I log into mycareer. I just want to play fkn rec!!
submitted by Az-Frankie21 to NBA2k [link] [comments]
I earned my spot in hall of fame and I haven’t went down. So why am I getting paired with 💩 teammates? I played two games with brown and silver and black and they all FKN SOLD! I don’t get this game! I’m tired of having to back out to find a decent squad. 2k fix your fkn game man
And I’m SICK of the event ad popping up everyone I log into mycareer. I just want to play fkn rec!!
2024.05.19 04:54 LLLNNNGGG Basic Skyrim Xbox logical load order (LLO) template with “vanilla plus+” examples (2024)
This is for us normies who don’t want to sift through a hundred youtube videos just to figure out basic information that should be readily available. This guide is designed for people who are new to modding.
This LLO follows Brxsie’s model. For more detailed info on categorization refer to their reddit post.
You can leave out any mod on this list that you don’t want except for USSEP.
Key:
*= my personal notes explaining what a mod does or why I added it
e.g. = extra examples of popular mods that should be placed in that category
Blurb
(skip this section if you want the quick version of this post)
Hi everyone; I’m not a modder nor a PC player, but I was desperate to figure out how to safely load my game with reasonable lore-friendly updates. Every LLO guide I’ve found so far has either been outdated, contradictory to other sources, does not specify which mods fall under what category, is way too vague, or way too specific. The mods I’ve listed here should be easily searchable on the recently updated Xbox creations menu so that any Xbox player can easily copy this list. Originally, I was just recording my LLO for my own personal use, but I figured this could help people who don’t have the time to put in as much research as I have.
If you are brand new to modding, vanilla+ means that you want to stay faithful to the original game as much as possible while upgrading the look of your Skyrim world and making a few convenient tweaks. The least “true to the original game” mod on this list is convenient horses. In my experience so far, this LLO plays just as smoothly as vanilla Skyrim.
Unless I wrote a note next to the mod stating otherwise, all of these mods are independent of one another, except for: divine atmosphere, divine atmosphere snowflake edit, and realistic snowflakes. If you like the ugly fractal snowflakes in divine atmosphere then don’t bother with the other two mods, but if not, you need the vanilla snowflake edit and the snowflake texture mod to go together. Therefore, you can leave out any mod on this list that you don’t want except for USSEP), and the game will function normally.
To customize settings of mods while in-game, go to magic -> powers. “Equip” the mod you want to change and press RB once out of the menu. This is relevant to divine atmospheres, divine interiors, flute finder, convenient horses, and some dialogue mods.
Most mods on this list can be downloaded or deleted safely while playing a pre-existing save file. Deleting mods become problematic when you have already added and interacted with a custom item to the game and then delete the mod that supported the item. When testing new mods, I suggest only adding a few at a time so that you know what to delete if you encounter any issues.
If you are reading this on a laptop or PC, you can press command/control F to search for keywords of the mods you want to install to find where they belong in the LLO.
Personally, my favorite mods that I’ve added to the game are the dialogue mods and the texture mods. They make Skyrim feel like a real world with real people living in it and I would highly suggest using some or all of them. I’d also love to hear everyone’s suggestions on proposed edits to this load order. Please let me know if you are aware of any conflicting mods or bugs, or if I have made any mistakes in my layperson's explanation of techy stuff. Unsure if this is relevant information, but I’m located in the USA.
Extra notes:
What the heck is a leveled list? A leveled list is a change in the code that makes changes to certain values. Such as changing how much gold a character has or how powerful an enemy is.
And what exactly is an area edit? An area edit is any mod that adds or significantly changes a location in the game. This includes adding extra trees, adding extra smelters, or adding custom player homes that do not exist in vanilla, among other things.
Why are there all of these categories and why is it so complicated? LLO sorts mods so that the game can load the most important files first. When LLO is not followed, the game will inevitably crash. Categories allow us to sort mods into the LLO based on how they interact with the game's code. People sometimes disagree on what order to put the categories in, but all LLO templates use the same basic categories.
I do not use immersive citizens AI because multiple people have reported bugs. Other people have no issues with it, but I prefer to stay on the safe side.
Remember to lower your in-game brightness, especially when you are using divine interiors and divine atmospheres. If the brightness is all the way up, things will start to glow. You will have to use torches in locations with zero light, such as corners in caves. This adds a realistic feel to the game. If you give a torch to your follower, they will automatically use it in in low-light conditions. I switch between default/glimmegrim/vivid depending on where I am and how colorful I want things to be. The game may look darker overall as you can see in the screenshots, but this is more true to how lighting works in the real world.
Skyrim 101 tip: When you ditch items to reduce your carry weight, store them somewhere (such as a dead body or a chest) instead of dropping them on the ground. If you drop items all over your game it will eventually lag.
When creating a new character, keep in mind that once you start playing, you might change the lighting and make the colors more saturated. For example: I accidentally gave myself yellow hair instead of natural blonde because I forgot about lighting and atmosphere changes. This is another reason to install the vanity mirror mod, which allows you to change your character mid-game.
Storage space: all of the mods I have listed here take up approximately 4.36GB.
I suggest keeping a note of your LLO on your phone so that you can easily categorize mods you want to add the future.
Sometimes LLO will not save, so I recommend double-checking that everything landed in the right spot or backing up your LLO to bethesda before exiting the LLO menu.
Sometimes you need to restart your game to enable a newly installed mod.
How to delete a complex mod without causing problems: disable the mod, hard reset (hold power button for 10 secs or unplug the console), uninstall the mod, hard reset.
I’ve noticed a bug where I cannot tell my follower (Lydia) to do anything in “command mode”. I don’t know what’s causing this- it seems like a dialogue issue but I rarely use the command mode feature anyway so it’s small enough for me to ignore for now. Let me know if you find out what's causing this!
*Blurb over\*
Master Files
Any craftable item
Perk overhauls/changes
Magic additions and modifications
Any audio
Grass Fixes
Skin/skeleton physics and appearance changes
*The mods I’ve listed in this section should cover almost every visual in the game. Nothing is too drastic of a style change and fits right in to the game’s vibe.
Immersion (e.g. immersive patrols, landlord etc.) - can be tricky to categorize
Anything that changes a character’s/npc face or hair (e.g natural eyes)
Lightweight multiple area edits
Multiple area edits (e.g. divine cities)
*I do not recommend divine cities or divine villages because it can be buggy. One time Lydia got permanently stuck in a modded tavern and I had to backtrack through an hour of progress to get her back out
Adding individual unique objects
Mods that add new quests (mods that alter vanilla quests do not go here)
submitted by LLLNNNGGG to SkyrimModsXbox [link] [comments]
This LLO follows Brxsie’s model. For more detailed info on categorization refer to their reddit post.
You can leave out any mod on this list that you don’t want except for USSEP.
Key:
*= my personal notes explaining what a mod does or why I added it
e.g. = extra examples of popular mods that should be placed in that category
Blurb
(skip this section if you want the quick version of this post)
Hi everyone; I’m not a modder nor a PC player, but I was desperate to figure out how to safely load my game with reasonable lore-friendly updates. Every LLO guide I’ve found so far has either been outdated, contradictory to other sources, does not specify which mods fall under what category, is way too vague, or way too specific. The mods I’ve listed here should be easily searchable on the recently updated Xbox creations menu so that any Xbox player can easily copy this list. Originally, I was just recording my LLO for my own personal use, but I figured this could help people who don’t have the time to put in as much research as I have.
If you are brand new to modding, vanilla+ means that you want to stay faithful to the original game as much as possible while upgrading the look of your Skyrim world and making a few convenient tweaks. The least “true to the original game” mod on this list is convenient horses. In my experience so far, this LLO plays just as smoothly as vanilla Skyrim.
Unless I wrote a note next to the mod stating otherwise, all of these mods are independent of one another, except for: divine atmosphere, divine atmosphere snowflake edit, and realistic snowflakes. If you like the ugly fractal snowflakes in divine atmosphere then don’t bother with the other two mods, but if not, you need the vanilla snowflake edit and the snowflake texture mod to go together. Therefore, you can leave out any mod on this list that you don’t want except for USSEP), and the game will function normally.
To customize settings of mods while in-game, go to magic -> powers. “Equip” the mod you want to change and press RB once out of the menu. This is relevant to divine atmospheres, divine interiors, flute finder, convenient horses, and some dialogue mods.
Most mods on this list can be downloaded or deleted safely while playing a pre-existing save file. Deleting mods become problematic when you have already added and interacted with a custom item to the game and then delete the mod that supported the item. When testing new mods, I suggest only adding a few at a time so that you know what to delete if you encounter any issues.
If you are reading this on a laptop or PC, you can press command/control F to search for keywords of the mods you want to install to find where they belong in the LLO.
Personally, my favorite mods that I’ve added to the game are the dialogue mods and the texture mods. They make Skyrim feel like a real world with real people living in it and I would highly suggest using some or all of them. I’d also love to hear everyone’s suggestions on proposed edits to this load order. Please let me know if you are aware of any conflicting mods or bugs, or if I have made any mistakes in my layperson's explanation of techy stuff. Unsure if this is relevant information, but I’m located in the USA.
Extra notes:
What the heck is a leveled list? A leveled list is a change in the code that makes changes to certain values. Such as changing how much gold a character has or how powerful an enemy is.
And what exactly is an area edit? An area edit is any mod that adds or significantly changes a location in the game. This includes adding extra trees, adding extra smelters, or adding custom player homes that do not exist in vanilla, among other things.
Why are there all of these categories and why is it so complicated? LLO sorts mods so that the game can load the most important files first. When LLO is not followed, the game will inevitably crash. Categories allow us to sort mods into the LLO based on how they interact with the game's code. People sometimes disagree on what order to put the categories in, but all LLO templates use the same basic categories.
I do not use immersive citizens AI because multiple people have reported bugs. Other people have no issues with it, but I prefer to stay on the safe side.
Remember to lower your in-game brightness, especially when you are using divine interiors and divine atmospheres. If the brightness is all the way up, things will start to glow. You will have to use torches in locations with zero light, such as corners in caves. This adds a realistic feel to the game. If you give a torch to your follower, they will automatically use it in in low-light conditions. I switch between default/glimmegrim/vivid depending on where I am and how colorful I want things to be. The game may look darker overall as you can see in the screenshots, but this is more true to how lighting works in the real world.
Skyrim 101 tip: When you ditch items to reduce your carry weight, store them somewhere (such as a dead body or a chest) instead of dropping them on the ground. If you drop items all over your game it will eventually lag.
When creating a new character, keep in mind that once you start playing, you might change the lighting and make the colors more saturated. For example: I accidentally gave myself yellow hair instead of natural blonde because I forgot about lighting and atmosphere changes. This is another reason to install the vanity mirror mod, which allows you to change your character mid-game.
Storage space: all of the mods I have listed here take up approximately 4.36GB.
I suggest keeping a note of your LLO on your phone so that you can easily categorize mods you want to add the future.
Sometimes LLO will not save, so I recommend double-checking that everything landed in the right spot or backing up your LLO to bethesda before exiting the LLO menu.
Sometimes you need to restart your game to enable a newly installed mod.
How to delete a complex mod without causing problems: disable the mod, hard reset (hold power button for 10 secs or unplug the console), uninstall the mod, hard reset.
I’ve noticed a bug where I cannot tell my follower (Lydia) to do anything in “command mode”. I don’t know what’s causing this- it seems like a dialogue issue but I rarely use the command mode feature anyway so it’s small enough for me to ignore for now. Let me know if you find out what's causing this!
*Blurb over\*
Master Files
- Unofficial skyrim special edition patch (USSEP) *almost every source says that this must be installed. It fixes core bugs in the game that developers have not bothered to update themselves
- Convenient horses *allows you to summon your horse from anywhere, store items on your horse, give followers horses, etc.
- Guard dialogue overhaul
- Follower commentary overhaul
- Misc dialogue edits and more
- Relationship dialogue overhaul
- Font replacer - eadui
Any craftable item
- Vanity Mirror *this is to fix the makeup bug where your lips are off center when you create your character. I have not tested this yet, but apparently if you open up the customization menu with the vanity mirror then the makeup will work again. Cheat room also works for the makeup issue, but I didn’t want so many extra cheats in my game just to fix this one ridiculous bug
- Get no more dead followers *functionally turns off friendly fire for followers
- Flute finder - a skyrim gps tracker for npcs *this is because I always lost my followers in vanilla and it was super annoying
- Multiple Marriages *haven’t tested this yet so cannot vouch for its effectiveness
- Auto unequip ammo *unequips arrows when you uneauip your bow so that you’re not always walking around with a sheath on your back
Perk overhauls/changes
Magic additions and modifications
- Master of Destruction (xb1) *adds new high level spells that target specific characters instead of killing everyone in the area
- Mining spell *I hate carrying a stupid pickaxe everywhere, so this spell mines for you. I haven't tested this mod yet though
- Better gold *adds slightly more gold when looting specific high level enemies
- Master trader 1x *this replenishes merchant gold each time you speak to them
Any audio
- Chapter II - Jeremy Soule inspired music *Jeremy Soule composed the original game soundtrack. This adds a few hours of similar sounding music that blend in with the game
- Divine Atmosphere: Aetherius *my favorite setting is vivid or grim
- Divine Atmosphere: Aetherius vanilla snowflakes option
- Ultra realistic snow flakes (custom snowflake texture) *if searching for this mod, search for “snow flakes” instead of “snowflakes”
Grass Fixes
Skin/skeleton physics and appearance changes
- pristine vanilla movement
- XP32 maximum skeleton special edition plus *changes some physics for smoother movement
- 360 walk and run *at first I put this in the gameplay mechanics category, but it did not work there. In the animation category it works as intended
*The mods I’ve listed in this section should cover almost every visual in the game. Nothing is too drastic of a style change and fits right in to the game’s vibe.
- Wear multiple rings *this mod is more useful for stacking enchantments rather than pure aesthetics. Not necessary if you want a more vanilla game
- Divine texture pack - architecture
- Dark ages: fantasy dungeons
- Dark ages: dragon Textures
- Divine creatures texture pack
- Omen armors weapons and clothing *I highly recommend this one!
- Fluffy snow
- Dark ages - landscapes
- Divine skins and bodies for men *misleading name: this is actually unisex. Make sure this goes above^ divine people otherwise you might experience an occasional face glitch. This must be used along with divine people in order to work correctly
- Granite mountains *another mod I highly recommend
- Dark Ages: Trees of the north
- Divine SMIM *Static mesh improvement mod. SMIM mods redesign lots of small items in the game
- Lucidaps’ high poly project v5.x *This corrects blocky items to make things look more realistic. It cooperates with the SMIM to create beautifully textured and realistic item designs, such as the ridiculously good looking head of cabbage
Immersion (e.g. immersive patrols, landlord etc.) - can be tricky to categorize
Anything that changes a character’s/npc face or hair (e.g natural eyes)
- Divine people of skyrim: celestial *For more vanilla/gritty looking people, try the dark ages texture pack. Both divine people and dark ages people mods must be paired with its corresponding skins mod, otherwise the textures will get cut off at the neck due to mismatching colors
- Divine interiors shadows and light *my favorite setting is glimmer or default if the game looks too oversaturated because of the lighting. I highly recommend this mod, it makes the game feel much richer
Lightweight multiple area edits
- Unique bridges of skyrim
- Divine forests
- Get more smelters *haven’t tested this extensively but I don’t foresee any issues since it doesn’t interfere with anything big
Multiple area edits (e.g. divine cities)
*I do not recommend divine cities or divine villages because it can be buggy. One time Lydia got permanently stuck in a modded tavern and I had to backtrack through an hour of progress to get her back out
Adding individual unique objects
- Auto Harvest Ring *because I like alchemy but hate picking flowers. Equipping this ring automatically harvests ingredients in range. Just remember to ditch the cabbages to reduce your carry weight
- Dark ages: immersive dragon ai
- Better stealth ai for followers *followers will not start fighting automatically while you are trying to be sneaky
Mods that add new quests (mods that alter vanilla quests do not go here)
- More to say 9.0.2 *this dialogue mod is here because it adds new quests. The other dialogue mods I’ve added are less consequential and simply add a little immersion. I’m unsure if this conflicts with the other dialogue mods
- A quality world map - vivid with stone roads *map mods use up VRAM and many people recommend against using them. I’m not a tech person, so forgive me if this isn’t accurate, but VRAM is similar to regular RAM. This means you can reset VRAM if you hard restart your console. If you are playing with tons of heavyweight mods all the time then maybe you should skip map mods, however in this LLO I have not noticed any FPS changes at all and personally, it’s worth it to me to hard restart the console every once in a while so that I can keep this mod. Source for the tech info (posted Oct. 2023) - https://www.xboxforums.com/threads/ram-and-vram.24007/
- Pastel map markers *Can you tell I like organizing? Color coding the map makes it more readable and gives locations a touch more personality
2024.05.19 04:47 Cat_Psychology Stories where relaxation brought on labour?
TL:DR: 3 days past due date, been very stressed for the past month. Birth doula suggested my stress hormones may be the reason, blocking labour from starting. Looking for stories where by re having a day of relaxing potentially brought on your on labour?
—
I am 40+2 with my second baby. I also have a toddler and needless to say, life is busy. My first w as a week late and I had to be induced as my body did nothing on its own to go into labour. This time around, I’ve been 1 cm dilated with a soft but high cervix since 39 weeks. It seems like history is bound to repeat itself and I desperately want to avoid being induced (I developed high BP at 40+3 with my first and my induction took three days but I did ultimately deliver naturally and everyone was healthy.)
This pregnancy has been more stressful than my first. Just taking the last month as an example, baby was breech and I tried ALL the things to flip her. I spent almost a thousand dollars (and a lot of time and energy) on various massage, physiotherapy, chiro and acupuncture treatments (thank god for my husbands amazing work benefits I got it all back), and between 34-37 weeks I basically was entirely focused on flipping her. I am especially motivated for a vaginal birth because due to health issues, I am not allowed to get a spinal or epidural so if I need a c-section it will need to be done under general anesthesia and that would mean both me and my husband would miss my daughter being born which breaks my heart. So, for over a month I was stressing constantly about her position. Somewhere in there I started my maternity leave a bit early too because with my husband and I both working full time, I had done barely anything to prepare for having this baby around the house, so between everything, I was working my butt off at home to prep for baby. Basically the plan was for an ECV at 37 weeks exactly if nothing else worked (spoiler: nothing worked). Just before the ECV, my toddler brought home a nasty daycare virus which I caught and the ECV was postponed until 37+5 when I was feeling (temporarily) better. Fortunately baby flipped easily however in the process she must have landed in a bad spot for my pelvis, because as I was walking out of the hospital with my newly flipped baby, my left SI joint went “out” and I could hardly walk. Cue me needing to use a cane and limping around the next 3+ weeks (I can still just barely weight-bear on that side and I’m just generally in constant pain, sleeping in a bed is torture). Then I woke up the day after my ECV to find that my cold had turned into a bad sinus infection and bronchitis, but because I only swabbed positive for rhinovirus in L&D, no one would give me an antibiotic despite me having a history of sinus infections. I could barely breathe, wheezed constantly, could not lay flat without massive coughing fits (so was sleeping maybe 2-3 hours a night sitting up) and strained all my abdominal muscles. This went on for 5 days until finally my GP agreed to give me an antibiotic and puffer. It took a full week on that for my symptoms to completely resolve. Over those 5 days before I got the antibiotic I also made 4 more trips to L&D, one for high BP which came down on its own, one for thinking my water broke (turns out I just peed from coughing) and two for reduced fetal movement related to dehydration (they gave me fluids and baby’s HR came back down to normal). Overlying that has been the constant worry that baby will somehow flip back to being breech or transverse (fortunately she has stayed head down). The past two weeks I’ve primarily spent cleaning/nesting and going to various appointments to try and fix my pelvic pain to no avail. Then on my due date this past Thursday, my toddler comes home yet again with green runny nose and I am just terrified now of getting sick yet again.
SO. Needless to say, I have been under a lot of stress. I completely online birthing classes and decided to reach out to the instructor to ask for suggestions on how to get my labour going to hopefully avoid an induction. After hearing just a fraction of what I’ve been through, she suggested that. I will not be able to walk myself into labour (despite my hip pain I have remained active for the sake of keeping baby head down and getting labour going). She said that potentially it is a mental block preventing my labour from progressing, noting that stress hormones work against labour hormones. Honestly, it makes sense to me since I still feel stressed and exhausted, I keep thinking “ok baby don’t come tonight, just let me get one good nights sleep first”…only for me to sleep like shit yet again.
So I’m going to focus on trying to relax tomorrow (Sunday). I would love to read some stories from people who think that relaxing was the key to getting their labour going. I feel like I see all the stories about how walking or nesting induced labour but nothing about how just chilling might have been what was needed.
submitted by Cat_Psychology to pregnant [link] [comments]
—
I am 40+2 with my second baby. I also have a toddler and needless to say, life is busy. My first w as a week late and I had to be induced as my body did nothing on its own to go into labour. This time around, I’ve been 1 cm dilated with a soft but high cervix since 39 weeks. It seems like history is bound to repeat itself and I desperately want to avoid being induced (I developed high BP at 40+3 with my first and my induction took three days but I did ultimately deliver naturally and everyone was healthy.)
This pregnancy has been more stressful than my first. Just taking the last month as an example, baby was breech and I tried ALL the things to flip her. I spent almost a thousand dollars (and a lot of time and energy) on various massage, physiotherapy, chiro and acupuncture treatments (thank god for my husbands amazing work benefits I got it all back), and between 34-37 weeks I basically was entirely focused on flipping her. I am especially motivated for a vaginal birth because due to health issues, I am not allowed to get a spinal or epidural so if I need a c-section it will need to be done under general anesthesia and that would mean both me and my husband would miss my daughter being born which breaks my heart. So, for over a month I was stressing constantly about her position. Somewhere in there I started my maternity leave a bit early too because with my husband and I both working full time, I had done barely anything to prepare for having this baby around the house, so between everything, I was working my butt off at home to prep for baby. Basically the plan was for an ECV at 37 weeks exactly if nothing else worked (spoiler: nothing worked). Just before the ECV, my toddler brought home a nasty daycare virus which I caught and the ECV was postponed until 37+5 when I was feeling (temporarily) better. Fortunately baby flipped easily however in the process she must have landed in a bad spot for my pelvis, because as I was walking out of the hospital with my newly flipped baby, my left SI joint went “out” and I could hardly walk. Cue me needing to use a cane and limping around the next 3+ weeks (I can still just barely weight-bear on that side and I’m just generally in constant pain, sleeping in a bed is torture). Then I woke up the day after my ECV to find that my cold had turned into a bad sinus infection and bronchitis, but because I only swabbed positive for rhinovirus in L&D, no one would give me an antibiotic despite me having a history of sinus infections. I could barely breathe, wheezed constantly, could not lay flat without massive coughing fits (so was sleeping maybe 2-3 hours a night sitting up) and strained all my abdominal muscles. This went on for 5 days until finally my GP agreed to give me an antibiotic and puffer. It took a full week on that for my symptoms to completely resolve. Over those 5 days before I got the antibiotic I also made 4 more trips to L&D, one for high BP which came down on its own, one for thinking my water broke (turns out I just peed from coughing) and two for reduced fetal movement related to dehydration (they gave me fluids and baby’s HR came back down to normal). Overlying that has been the constant worry that baby will somehow flip back to being breech or transverse (fortunately she has stayed head down). The past two weeks I’ve primarily spent cleaning/nesting and going to various appointments to try and fix my pelvic pain to no avail. Then on my due date this past Thursday, my toddler comes home yet again with green runny nose and I am just terrified now of getting sick yet again.
SO. Needless to say, I have been under a lot of stress. I completely online birthing classes and decided to reach out to the instructor to ask for suggestions on how to get my labour going to hopefully avoid an induction. After hearing just a fraction of what I’ve been through, she suggested that. I will not be able to walk myself into labour (despite my hip pain I have remained active for the sake of keeping baby head down and getting labour going). She said that potentially it is a mental block preventing my labour from progressing, noting that stress hormones work against labour hormones. Honestly, it makes sense to me since I still feel stressed and exhausted, I keep thinking “ok baby don’t come tonight, just let me get one good nights sleep first”…only for me to sleep like shit yet again.
So I’m going to focus on trying to relax tomorrow (Sunday). I would love to read some stories from people who think that relaxing was the key to getting their labour going. I feel like I see all the stories about how walking or nesting induced labour but nothing about how just chilling might have been what was needed.
2024.05.19 04:43 According_Spring2798 Is this trauma? What am I feeling? (CW: suicide)
This is gonna be a long post. I don't have health insurance and can't drive yet so this is the next best thing to therapy for me at the moment. I'll get the help I need when it's available to me, I promise.
I (17 M) had a dramatic falling out with two of my best friends back in December after they started dating (TL;DR I was extremely jealous and had an unhealthy emotional dependency with one of them which led me to lash out) and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it.
I learned at some point that they planned to ghost me after graduation because dealing with my constant breakdowns was wearing them both down and trying to talk to me at that point was like walking on eggshells. Hearing that broke me, but I finally accepted the fact that I needed to let them both go because keeping that kind of relationship wasn't good for any of us. I was absolutely devastated, but after a while of not seeing them or interacting with them, I started to feel a lot better. I quit working at the same mall they both worked at and graduated high school, so I've had plenty of space and distance to focus on other things. But I still think about them and about what happened.
During that time when school was still happening, I felt genuine terror whenever I knew I'd see them or I caught a glimpse of either one of them or just beleived I was going to see them. This happened at the mall too. And even now, there's this resturaunt I overheard them saying they went to on a date and everytime I've went since, I felt the same dread thinking I might accidentally run into them. I went today and thought I saw one of them. I didn't freak out immediately but when I left, I started tearing up thinking about the whole thing again.
Also during that time when I couldn't avoid them completely, there were many days where I'd wake up and the first thing I'd think about was them and what happened. Many times during the day too, I'd have, what I'm assuming now, were flashbacks to specific events. I would get lost in thought thinking about memories related to that whole mess. It didn't help that I had multiple vivid nightmares about them and what happened. It got better over time when school was finally out because I wasn't constantly reminded of it, but I went to graduation a couple days ago (which I was already dreading because I knew they'd both be there), I ended up breaking down into tears after seeing them.
And I had a thought that after graduation was over, I'd go home and kill myself because there was no point in living if the only people I ever cared about were much happier without me in their lives. I wouldn't say I'm suicidal. I've thought about dying before because of other things in my life but it's never been something I actually want or ever plan to do. I'm a wimp. I can't even self-harm, even though I've tried many times over the years to build up a habit of cutting or burning myself. But the thought itself of being driven to suicide really scares me. It's like my mind is screaming at me to just fucking do it already. This isn't even the first time suicide has crossed mind when thinking about them. One time after school, I had a similar thought that in a couple years I'd be dead because I was nothing without them. Soon I'd lose all will to live and I'd be so miserable and alone I'd kill myself.
I always feel better after the feeling passes (usually this happens when I get distracted and quit thinking of them or they leave) and the idea of seriously killing myself always feels silly afterwards but those breif moments where the possibility of turning to suicide feels so real and the pain is immeasurable. I don't think about them that often anymore because I don't see them that often anymore and I probably won't ever see them again. Which is a good thing but it still hurts.
I feel like I can't fully heal or get over this because I don't even know what this is. I'm greiving, obviously, because they were very important people in my life, but I feel like everything else I felt and still feel is more than just greif. I feel bad labeling it as trauma because it sounds stupid to me to label petty high school drama as a traumatic experience and I don't want to put the blame on them for traumatizing me or whatever because I was in the wrong. I acted way out of line and they were right to want nothing to do with me at that point. But I get scared thinking that I might do the same things again with the few friends I still have. Or that I might do even worse things to future friends or future partners.
I realize that a lot of what I did and why I did it are because of underlying psychological issues I might have that've never been adressed before. My family has a history of anxiety, trauma, suicide ideation, and depression. Me personally, I can't handle rejection at all. I don't wanna sound like that guy that self-diagnoses himself with all these mental illnesses but I think I might suffer from RSD. The fear I feel at the slightest hint of rejection is so potent and primal, I feel like I lose control and I can't escape from the way my body feels. Which frustrates me because I know logically I shouldn't take things so personally. That's why this whole mess just makes me angry to think about. I hate myself for how I acted because I'd never do any of the stupid shit I did if I had the ability to step out of my body and act rationally instead of acting on instinct. I'm trying not to make this sound like I'm absolving myself of guilt by saying "I couldn't control myself" (maybe that's a manipulation tactic I subconsciously do, I don't know and it scares me to think I do such things without realizing it, I worry sometimes that I'm secretly a narcissist and people only like me because I've manipulated them into beleiving that I'm a good person that cares about them, which is also why this whole situation makes me so mad because I always try to scrutinize everything I say and do to make sure I'm not doing the thing I'm scared I'm doing and this whole thing is the result of me missing so many obvious red flags in myself that I was unfit to be around either of them at at all.)
I don't know. There's probably a lot wrong with me. That entire mess of how I think and feel doesn't always come up in my everyday life. I can function just fine most of the time but the few times I end up thinking about what happened in December and everything else in life revolving that giant mess, it almost feels disabling. I power through it whenever it happens and it's been happening less and less, but I'm still worried about the day where something bad will happen and this entire knot will unravel and I'll fall apart on the spot.
I just want answers. I want the words to explain what I feel or what this is or what's wrong with me so people understand what's happening with me and how to act accordingly. I want the ability to help myself so I don't do what I did with my friends and dump all of that emotional baggage onto them hoping they'd sort through my shit for me. I want to be able to catch myself before I do stupid things a second time. I want to be better.
submitted by According_Spring2798 to askatherapist [link] [comments]
I (17 M) had a dramatic falling out with two of my best friends back in December after they started dating (TL;DR I was extremely jealous and had an unhealthy emotional dependency with one of them which led me to lash out) and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it.
I learned at some point that they planned to ghost me after graduation because dealing with my constant breakdowns was wearing them both down and trying to talk to me at that point was like walking on eggshells. Hearing that broke me, but I finally accepted the fact that I needed to let them both go because keeping that kind of relationship wasn't good for any of us. I was absolutely devastated, but after a while of not seeing them or interacting with them, I started to feel a lot better. I quit working at the same mall they both worked at and graduated high school, so I've had plenty of space and distance to focus on other things. But I still think about them and about what happened.
During that time when school was still happening, I felt genuine terror whenever I knew I'd see them or I caught a glimpse of either one of them or just beleived I was going to see them. This happened at the mall too. And even now, there's this resturaunt I overheard them saying they went to on a date and everytime I've went since, I felt the same dread thinking I might accidentally run into them. I went today and thought I saw one of them. I didn't freak out immediately but when I left, I started tearing up thinking about the whole thing again.
Also during that time when I couldn't avoid them completely, there were many days where I'd wake up and the first thing I'd think about was them and what happened. Many times during the day too, I'd have, what I'm assuming now, were flashbacks to specific events. I would get lost in thought thinking about memories related to that whole mess. It didn't help that I had multiple vivid nightmares about them and what happened. It got better over time when school was finally out because I wasn't constantly reminded of it, but I went to graduation a couple days ago (which I was already dreading because I knew they'd both be there), I ended up breaking down into tears after seeing them.
And I had a thought that after graduation was over, I'd go home and kill myself because there was no point in living if the only people I ever cared about were much happier without me in their lives. I wouldn't say I'm suicidal. I've thought about dying before because of other things in my life but it's never been something I actually want or ever plan to do. I'm a wimp. I can't even self-harm, even though I've tried many times over the years to build up a habit of cutting or burning myself. But the thought itself of being driven to suicide really scares me. It's like my mind is screaming at me to just fucking do it already. This isn't even the first time suicide has crossed mind when thinking about them. One time after school, I had a similar thought that in a couple years I'd be dead because I was nothing without them. Soon I'd lose all will to live and I'd be so miserable and alone I'd kill myself.
I always feel better after the feeling passes (usually this happens when I get distracted and quit thinking of them or they leave) and the idea of seriously killing myself always feels silly afterwards but those breif moments where the possibility of turning to suicide feels so real and the pain is immeasurable. I don't think about them that often anymore because I don't see them that often anymore and I probably won't ever see them again. Which is a good thing but it still hurts.
I feel like I can't fully heal or get over this because I don't even know what this is. I'm greiving, obviously, because they were very important people in my life, but I feel like everything else I felt and still feel is more than just greif. I feel bad labeling it as trauma because it sounds stupid to me to label petty high school drama as a traumatic experience and I don't want to put the blame on them for traumatizing me or whatever because I was in the wrong. I acted way out of line and they were right to want nothing to do with me at that point. But I get scared thinking that I might do the same things again with the few friends I still have. Or that I might do even worse things to future friends or future partners.
I realize that a lot of what I did and why I did it are because of underlying psychological issues I might have that've never been adressed before. My family has a history of anxiety, trauma, suicide ideation, and depression. Me personally, I can't handle rejection at all. I don't wanna sound like that guy that self-diagnoses himself with all these mental illnesses but I think I might suffer from RSD. The fear I feel at the slightest hint of rejection is so potent and primal, I feel like I lose control and I can't escape from the way my body feels. Which frustrates me because I know logically I shouldn't take things so personally. That's why this whole mess just makes me angry to think about. I hate myself for how I acted because I'd never do any of the stupid shit I did if I had the ability to step out of my body and act rationally instead of acting on instinct. I'm trying not to make this sound like I'm absolving myself of guilt by saying "I couldn't control myself" (maybe that's a manipulation tactic I subconsciously do, I don't know and it scares me to think I do such things without realizing it, I worry sometimes that I'm secretly a narcissist and people only like me because I've manipulated them into beleiving that I'm a good person that cares about them, which is also why this whole situation makes me so mad because I always try to scrutinize everything I say and do to make sure I'm not doing the thing I'm scared I'm doing and this whole thing is the result of me missing so many obvious red flags in myself that I was unfit to be around either of them at at all.)
I don't know. There's probably a lot wrong with me. That entire mess of how I think and feel doesn't always come up in my everyday life. I can function just fine most of the time but the few times I end up thinking about what happened in December and everything else in life revolving that giant mess, it almost feels disabling. I power through it whenever it happens and it's been happening less and less, but I'm still worried about the day where something bad will happen and this entire knot will unravel and I'll fall apart on the spot.
I just want answers. I want the words to explain what I feel or what this is or what's wrong with me so people understand what's happening with me and how to act accordingly. I want the ability to help myself so I don't do what I did with my friends and dump all of that emotional baggage onto them hoping they'd sort through my shit for me. I want to be able to catch myself before I do stupid things a second time. I want to be better.
2024.05.19 04:41 Human_Holiday_4758 "Deathcore / Metalcore Playlist: Best One Song by Any Band" - Who am I missing? Who have I got that doesn't belong?
Note to the moderators: I suppose this post could be construed as seeking "recommendations"; however, the list will not fit within the character limits of the GDT, so I'm hoping y'all will tolerate it. At the very least, at nearly two hundred songs/bands, alphabetized and a couple weeks' work, I hope y'all will agree, this is not a "low-effort post!"
With the help of Metalcore as well as a big Deathcore/Metalcore FB group, I've compiled the following alphabetized playlist. Obviously it's incomplete, so please tell me who I'm missing (that is worth adding, obviously). Also, if there's a band you feel should be removed due to inappropriate categorization or a pick that is just blatantly wrong, please feel free to let me know!
submitted by Human_Holiday_4758 to Metalcore [link] [comments]
With the help of Metalcore as well as a big Deathcore/Metalcore FB group, I've compiled the following alphabetized playlist. Obviously it's incomplete, so please tell me who I'm missing (that is worth adding, obviously). Also, if there's a band you feel should be removed due to inappropriate categorization or a pick that is just blatantly wrong, please feel free to let me know!
- Aborted - Dreadbringer
- Abbie Falls - Pitch Black
- Across the Sun – May Silence Keep You
- After The Burial - Behold The Crown
- All Out War – Into the Killing Fields
- Allt – Paralyzed
- All That Remains - This Calling
- Alpha Wolf - Akudama
- alt. - BACK TO EARTH
- A Mourning Star – A World Beyond
- Angelmaker- What I Would Give
- Annalynn - Closer to the Edge
- Annisokay - Coma Blue
- Any Given Day – Savior
- Architects - These Colors Don’t Run
- As Blood Runs Black – In Dying Days
- As I Lay Daying - The Sound of Truth
- Asking Alexandria - A Single Moment of Sincerity
- ATLVS – Comethazine
- Atreyu – Crimson
- Attack! Attack! – Killing for Sport
- Avenged Sevenfold – Unholy Confessions
- Aviana – Rage
- August Burns Red - White Washed
- AVOID - Whatever
- Bad Omens - ARTIFICIAL SUICIDE
- Before I Turn – Aglaeca
- Being as an ocean - the hardest part is forgetting those you swore you would never forget
- Bleed from Within - Alive
- Bleeding Through - Revenge I Seek
- Bloodywood - Machi Bhasad
- Bodysnatcher – Exterminate
- Botch – One Twenty Two
- Boundaries – I'd Rather Not Say
- Breakdown of Sanity – The Storm
- Bring Me the Horizon - Shadow Moses
- Bullet for my Valentine - Four Words (To Choke Upon)
- Bury Tomorrow – Choke
- Caliban – Memorial
- Carnifex - Die Without Hope
- Caskets - The Final Say
- Chamber - Replacing Every Weakness
- Chelsea Grin – Cheyne Stokes
- Chimaira – Pure Hatred
- Code Orange - Forever
- coldrain - 2020
- Conquer Divide - Afterthought.wav
- Converge – A Single Tear
- Counterparts - Whispers Of Your Death
- Crimson Eyes – Serenity
- Crown the Empire – The Fallout
- Crystal Lake - Apollo
- Currents - Better Days
- Daedric - Alchemy
- Dark Divine - The Fear
- Darkest Hour - Goddess of War, Give Me Something to Die For
- Darko US - Pale Tongue
- Demon Hunter - Cross to Bear
- Dying Wish - Enemies in Red
- Earth Crisis – Forced March
- Eighteen Visions – Reality Killer
- Elwood Stray - Half Life
- Emmure - When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong
- Enterprise Earth – Reanimate // Disintegrate
- ERRA - Lunar Halo
- Esprit D’Air - Ocean’s Call
- Every Time I Die - Map Change
- Fallstar – When Justice Cracks the Sky
- Fit for a King - Backbreaker
- Fit for an Autopsy – Under a Serpent Sun
- Flames of Betrayal – The Rain Reeks of Heaven
- Foreign Hands - Separation Souvenir
- For the Fallen Dreams – Sulfate
- For today - Break the Cycle
- Ghost Iris – My Dear Rat Kings
- Gideon -- Bite Down
- God Forbid - To the Fallen Hero
- Greyhaven - Kappa (River Child)
- Guilt Trip – Eyes Wide Shut
- Hanabie - Otaku Lovely Densetsu
- Harm’s Way – Become a Machine
- Hatebreed – Own Your World
- Heart of a Coward – Hollow
- Heaven Shall Fall – Hunters Will Be Hunted
- Holding Absence - Monochrome
- Humanity’s Last Breath - Labyrinthian
- Ice Nine Kills – The American Nightmare
- If I Were You – System Failure
- Imminence – Chasing Shadows
- Impending Doom - There Will be Violence
- In Heart’s Wake – Survival (The Chariot)
- I Prevail - Deadweight
- I See Stars - Running With Scissors
- InChaos - Butterfly Effect
- Ingested – I, Despoiler
- Invent Animate - False Meridian
- Jesus Piece - Fear of Failure
- Job for a Cowboy – Sun of Nihility
- Johnny Booth - The Ladder
- Killswitch Engage - My Last Serenade
- Kill The Lights - Dead From The Start
- Knocked Loose - Deep in the Willow
- Kublai Khan - The Hammer
- Lamb of God - Descending
- Left to Suffer – Overwhelming Power
- LVNDMARKS - False Reality
- Light the Torch - Die Alone
- Like Moths To Flames - Dissociative Being
- Loathe - Aggressive Evolution
- Lorna Shore – Of the Abyss
- Make Them Suffer - Uncharted
- Misery Signals - Luminary
- Malevolence – On Broken Glass
- MIRE – Inside
- Miss May I – Hey Mister
- Motionless in White – Disguise
- Mouth for War – Saturate Me
- Norma Jean - Sword in Mouth, Fire Eyes
- Nora – I Should Have Sent Flowers
- Novelists FR - Souvenirs
- Of Mice and Men - The Depths
- Ocean Sleeper - Your Love I'll Never Need
- Opal In Sky - The Blight
- Orthodox - Cave In
- Paleface – Lights Out
- Paria - The Absurdity of Solace
- Parkway Drive – Dark Days
- Patient Sixty-Seven - Hibbertia
- Periphery - Stranger Things
- Phinehas – I Am the Lion
- Polaris - The Remedy
- Pupil Slicer - No Temple
- Reflections - Help
- Reliqa – Tyrant
- Renesans - Labor of Hate
- Rings of Saturn - Senseless Massacre
- Sail’s End - The Sound of Silence 3: Three
- Sanction – The Prophet Who Saw Fire
- SAVE US – Distance
- Scarlet Horizon - Seed
- Sea of Treachery – Unleash the Serpents
- Serration – Simulations of Hell
- Shadow of Intent – The Prelude to Bereavement
- Shadows Fall – The Light that Blinds
- Shai Halud - Solely Concentrating on the Negative Aspects of Life
- Silent Planet - Antimatter
- Signs of the Swarm – Amongst the Low and Empty
- Silverstein - Your Sword vs My Dagger
- Sion – More than Just Myself
- Slaughter to Prevail - Viking
- Sleep Token – The Summoning
- Snapcase – Harrison Bergeron
- Spite – led
- Spiritbox - The Beauty Of Suffering
- Spiritual Chaos - End
- Suicide Silence - Unanswered
- Sunami – Mind Your Business
- Tenside - Come Alive Dying
- The Acacia Strain - The Impaler
- The Afterimage – Secrets
- The Amity Affliction – Pittsburgh
- The Black Dahlia Murder – What a Horrible Night to Have a Curse
- The Browning - The End of Existence
- The Chariot - David De La Hoz
- The Devil Wears Prada - Danger: Wildman
- The Dillinger Escape Plan - One of Us is The Killer
- The Empire Shall Fall – Voices Forming Weapons
- The Ghost Inside – Aftermath
- The Ongoing Concept - Feel Again
- The Plot in You - Crows
- The Zenith Passage – Deus Deceptor
- Thornhill - Casanova
- Throwdown – This Continuum
- Thrown - on the verge
- Thy Art is Murder – Holy War
- Times of Grace – Medusa
- To the Grave – Terrorist Threat
- Trivium - Down from the Sky
- Undying – the Company of Storms
- Unearth - This Glorious Nightmare
- Upon a Burning Body – Extermination
- Varials – Anything to Numb
- Veil of Maya - Outsider
- VEXED – X my <3 (Hope to Die)
- Vision of Disorder - D.T.O.
- Wage War - The River
- War of Ages – Collapse
- We Are The Empty – Carcass
- We Came As Romans - What I Wished I never Had
- Whitechapel - I Will Find You
- While She Sleeps - The Plague of the New Age
- Within Destruction – Void
- Within the Ruins – Gods Amongst Men
- Wolves at the Gate – Deadweight
- World of Pleasure – Carbon Copy
- Xibalba – Death Threat
- Zao - Resistance
2024.05.19 04:41 Sweet-Count2557 Alpine Village Oktoberfest All Ages Sundays
 | Alpine Village Oktoberfest All Ages Sundays Welcome to Alpine Village Oktoberfest All Ages Sundays, where the spirit of Bavaria comes alive in the heart of Torrance, CA.As we gather in this vibrant village, the air is filled with the infectious sounds of Oom Pah Pah party bands, the aroma of mouthwatering German cuisine, and the joyous laughter of families and friends.But there's more to this celebration than meets the eye.So, join us as we uncover the hidden gems and unforgettable experiences that await at Alpine Village Oktoberfest All Ages Sundays.Key TakeawaysAlpine Village Oktoberfest All-Ages Sundays is a weekly event that takes place every Sunday until October 27, 2019.The event runs from 1:00pm to 6:00pm PT and is open to all ages.General admission is $10, but kids 12 and under as well as seniors and guests dressed in German costumes get in for free.The event offers traditional Bavarian fun with Oom Pah Pah party bands, German food, and German beers for adults. Costumes are encouraged and fully costumed guests get in for free. There will also be a celebration of German-American Heritage Day on October 6.Event DetailsWhen attending the Alpine Village Oktoberfest All-Ages Sundays, guests can expect a lively and authentic Bavarian experience filled with traditional music, delicious German cuisine, and a festive atmosphere for all ages. This event, held every Sunday through October 27, 2019, is a must-visit for anyone looking to immerse themselves in the rich traditions of Oktoberfest.Taking place at Alpine Village in Torrance, California, this celebration is the oldest Oktoberfest in Southern California. The venue, with its charming Bavarian-inspired architecture, sets the perfect backdrop for the festivities. As soon as you step through the gates, you'll be greeted by the infectious sounds of Oom Pah Pah party bands, transporting you straight to the heart of Germany. The lively music will have you tapping your feet and clapping along in no time.Of course, no Oktoberfest would be complete without delicious German cuisine, and Alpine Village delivers on that front. From bratwurst and pretzels to sauerkraut and schnitzel, there's something to satisfy every palate. And for the adults in the group, German beers will be available to enhance the experience.One of the unique aspects of this event is the emphasis on costumes. Guests are encouraged to come fully dressed in traditional German attire, and those who do will receive free admission. It's a wonderful opportunity to not only celebrate the festival but also to showcase your own creativity and style.In addition to the regular festivities, Alpine Village also hosts a special German-American Heritage Day on October 6. On this day, you can enjoy performances by dance groups and singers, further immersing yourself in the rich cultural heritage of Germany.Location and Contact InformationAs we continue our exploration of the Alpine Village Oktoberfest All-Ages Sundays, let's now turn our attention to the location and contact information for this exciting event.Location InformationVenueAlpine VillageContact310-327-4384Address833 W. Torrance Blvd, Torrance, CA, 90502MapClose Map XWebsiteInvite a friendWebsiteThe Alpine Village Oktoberfest All-Ages Sundays take place at Alpine Village, a charming venue located at 833 W. Torrance Blvd in Torrance, CA. This lively village is known for its traditional Bavarian atmosphere and is the home of the oldest Oktoberfest celebration in Southern California. With its authentic German architecture and festive decorations, Alpine Village creates the perfect backdrop for a day of fun and excitement.To get in touch with the organizers or inquire about any specific details, you can reach them at 310-327-4384. They will be more than happy to assist you with any questions or concerns you may have. Additionally, you can visit their website for more information and to invite your friends to join in on the festivities.As you plan your visit to the Alpine Village Oktoberfest All-Ages Sundays, make sure to check the map provided to easily navigate your way to the venue. The map will help you find the quickest route from your location, ensuring a hassle-free journey.With the location and contact information in hand, you're now well-equipped to experience the Alpine Village Oktoberfest All-Ages Sundays to the fullest. So gather your friends and family, put on your best German costumes, and get ready to immerse yourself in a day of traditional Bavarian fun, delicious German fare, and lively Oom Pah Pah party bands. Prost!Event HighlightsGet ready for an unforgettable experience at the Alpine Village Oktoberfest All-Ages Sundays, where traditional Bavarian fun, delicious German fare, and lively Oom Pah Pah party bands await you. This event is the home of the oldest Oktoberfest celebration in Southern California, so you know you're in for an authentic and exciting experience.As you walk into the Alpine Village, you'll be greeted by the lively sounds of Oom Pah Pah party bands, filling the air with their energetic music. The beats will get your feet tapping and your body moving in no time.But it's not just the music that will transport you to Bavaria. The Alpine Village Oktoberfest All-Ages Sundays also offers a delectable array of traditional German fare. From bratwurst to sauerkraut, pretzels to schnitzel, you'll be able to satisfy your cravings for authentic German cuisine. And for those of legal drinking age, German beers will be available to complement your meal and enhance your Oktoberfest experience.Costumes are encouraged at the Alpine Village Oktoberfest All-Ages Sundays, and if you fully dress up in a dirndl or lederhosen, you'll get in for free. So why not embrace the festive spirit and don your best German attire? It'll make the event even more immersive and enjoyable.One special highlight of this Oktoberfest event is the celebration of German-American Heritage Day on October 6. On this day, you can witness performances by traditional German dance groups and singers, showcasing the rich cultural heritage of the German-American community.With its traditional Bavarian fun, mouthwatering German fare, and lively Oom Pah Pah party bands, the Alpine Village Oktoberfest All-Ages Sundays promises an experience that will leave you with lasting memories. So gather your friends and family, and head over to the Alpine Village for an afternoon filled with laughter, great food, and unforgettable moments. Prost!Additional InformationFor more information and updates about the Alpine Village Oktoberfest All-Ages Sundays event, please visit their website or contact Alpine Village at 310-327-4384.Here are some additional details about the event that you might find helpful:Activity dates/times are subject to change, so it's always a good idea to verify the information on the event website to ensure you don't miss out on any of the fun.If you're looking for more family-friendly activities, Mommy Poppins is a great resource that can help you find things to do with kids. They offer a wide range of activities, providers, and even family travel options.If you want to stay up to date with the latest happenings and receive exclusive offers, you can subscribe to the Mommy Poppins newsletter. They also have a contact page and an about section if you have any specific questions or inquiries.If you're interested in submitting an activity or listing your business on Mommy Poppins, they've a sitemap that provides quick access to those options. You can also find information about advertising with them if you're looking to promote your own business.Finally, if you're concerned about privacy and data collection, Mommy Poppins has a privacy policy, cookie policy, and terms of use that outline how they handle your personal information. They strive to provide a great customer experience while respecting your privacy.We hope this additional information helps you make the most of your experience at the Alpine Village Oktoberfest All-Ages Sundays event. Get ready to enjoy traditional Bavarian fun, delicious German food, and a lively atmosphere that celebrates German-American heritage. Prost!Legal and PrivacyTo ensure the safety and protection of our attendees, as well as maintain the privacy of their personal information, we've implemented a comprehensive legal and privacy policy for the Alpine Village Oktoberfest All-Ages Sundays event.At Alpine Village, we understand the importance of safeguarding your information and respecting your privacy. We want you to have the freedom to enjoy our event without any concerns.Our legal and privacy policy covers various aspects to ensure your peace of mind. Firstly, we collect only the necessary personal information required for event registration and ticket purchasing. Rest assured, we handle this information with the utmost care and don't share it with any third parties without your consent. Your privacy is important to us, and we take all necessary measures to protect your data from unauthorized access or misuse.Additionally, we use cookies and other data collection technologies to enhance your customer experience. These technologies help us improve our website and tailor our offerings to your preferences. However, we want to assure you that your personal information isn't linked to these technologies, and your privacy remains intact.By attending the Alpine Village Oktoberfest All-Ages Sundays event, you agree to abide by our terms of use, which ensure a safe and enjoyable experience for all attendees. We encourage you to read our privacy policy, cookie policy, and terms of use in detail to understand your rights and responsibilities.We value your trust and strive to maintain the highest standards of legal compliance and privacy protection. Should you have any questions or concerns regarding our legal and privacy policies, please feel free to contact us. Your freedom to enjoy the festivities at Alpine Village Oktoberfest All-Ages Sundays is our top priority.Frequently Asked QuestionsAre Dogs Allowed at the Alpine Village Oktoberfest All-Ages Sundays Event?Yes, dogs are allowed at the Alpine Village Oktoberfest All-Ages Sundays event. We welcome furry friends to join in on the fun!It's a great opportunity to spend quality time with your whole family, including your beloved pets. So grab your lederhosen, bring your pup, and get ready to enjoy traditional Bavarian fun, delicious German food, and the lively atmosphere of the oldest Oktoberfest celebration in Southern California.Prost!Is There Parking Available at the Alpine Village for the Oktoberfest Event?Yes, there's parking available at the Alpine Village for the Oktoberfest event.The parking lot is conveniently located near the venue, making it easy for attendees to find a spot for their vehicles.So, you don't have to worry about searching for parking and can focus on enjoying the festivities.Grab your dirndl or lederhosen, gather your friends and family, and head to Alpine Village for a fun-filled day of Bavarian celebration!Can I Bring My Own Food and Drinks to the Event?Yes, you can bring your own food and drinks to the event.However, please note that there will also be traditional German fare available, along with German beers for older guests.So, if you're looking to fully immerse yourself in the Oktoberfest experience, we recommend trying some of the delicious food and drinks on offer.But if you have dietary restrictions or simply prefer to bring your own snacks, feel free to do so and enjoy the festivities!Are There Any Special Activities or Games for Children at the Oktoberfest Event?Yes, there are special activities and games for children at the Oktoberfest event. We want everyone to have a great time, so we've planned some fun-filled activities just for the little ones.From carnival games to face painting, there will be plenty to keep them entertained. They can also enjoy dancing to the lively music and trying delicious German treats.It's a family-friendly event that promises a memorable experience for everyone.Is There a Dress Code for the Alpine Village Oktoberfest All-Ages Sundays Event?Yes, there's a dress code for the event. Guests dressed in German costumes, such as dirndls or lederhosen, get in for free.So, if you want to save some money and fully immerse yourself in the Bavarian spirit, we encourage you to put on your best traditional German attire.It's a great way to show off your love for the culture and join in on the festivities at Alpine Village Oktoberfest All-Ages Sundays.ConclusionCome and join us at Alpine Village Oktoberfest All-Ages Sundays for a taste of Germany right here in Torrance, CA. With Oom Pah Pah party bands, delicious German food, and a lively atmosphere, this traditional Bavarian celebration isn't to be missed.Dress up in your favorite German costumes and receive free entry. Did you know that Alpine Village is the oldest Oktoberfest celebration in Southern California? Don't miss out on this fantastic opportunity to create lasting memories with family and friends.Prost! submitted by Sweet-Count2557 to worldkidstravel [link] [comments] |
2024.05.19 04:41 FlaxbopFleetfoot 29 [M4F] NC/USA - Seeking Fellow Adventurer for a Journey Through D&D Realms, Animal Kingdoms, and Hockey Arenas.
Hello there! Welcome to what is likely going to be a long, rambly post. I'm going to structure this as though I were answering job interview questions, because let's face it, dating is a glorified job interview for a relationship/getting laid.
Oh, and to save some of you the time reading this (though I did spend a while writing it mind you), I'm 5'5, and it's perfectly fine if that doesn't work for you. I have preferences too! Anyway...
Tell me About Yourself.
Ah, this one is a classic to start off with, glad you asked (or told me to elaborate? Same idea)!
First and foremost, I am a nerd. My favorite day of the week is Sunday, because that's when my D&D game happens (It's actually Pathfinder, but I say D&D because most people are not into the hobby), and this account is named after the character I play in that very game! Feel free to ask for more details at the risk of an overly excited explanation. I also play video games, usually single-player CRPGs, but lately I've been playing Hades and I like being on voice call when I do that.
Professionally I'm... still in school. Here's a lengthy, detailed discussion as to why that is: anxiety sucks. Phew, that was so lengthy, glad that's over! Anyway, I'm a nuclear engineering major and plan to graduate in 4 semesters. In all seriousness, I don't mind going over the full story once we're talking.
What are Some of Your Hobbies?
Lists are helpful for this one! So here we go:
Someone who's not an asshole, shares some interests with me, willing to do some basic stuff (sharing a picture, voice calling, video calling eventually) and treats me with respect. Honestly, not a long list. Physically, I would prefer someone who's of a thinner-average body type as that is what I am. I've made exceptions to this before though, so if you feel that I'm irresistible and not entirely obnoxious, feel free to reach out.
What I want the most though? Just intimacy. I think that's what we all want at the end. That is why this post is marked as NSFW because I am definitely not opposed to it going that way, but I also go at the pace of my partner and respect their boundaries.
What do You Look Like?
I'm 5'5 as mentioned before, 125 lbs, white, brown hair, green eyes, and have glasses that might as well be made of aquarium glass. Hopefully that gives you a vivid enough picture for now, but an actual picture is worth 1000 words so once we've exchanged a few messages I can share that.
And that, dear reader, is the end of my hopefully well-formatted and not-at-all-obnoxious wall of text. Hope you enjoyed reading it, and I hope to hear from you! If I don't, have a great whatever time of day it happens to be in your timezone!
submitted by FlaxbopFleetfoot to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]
Oh, and to save some of you the time reading this (though I did spend a while writing it mind you), I'm 5'5, and it's perfectly fine if that doesn't work for you. I have preferences too! Anyway...
Tell me About Yourself.
Ah, this one is a classic to start off with, glad you asked (or told me to elaborate? Same idea)!
First and foremost, I am a nerd. My favorite day of the week is Sunday, because that's when my D&D game happens (It's actually Pathfinder, but I say D&D because most people are not into the hobby), and this account is named after the character I play in that very game! Feel free to ask for more details at the risk of an overly excited explanation. I also play video games, usually single-player CRPGs, but lately I've been playing Hades and I like being on voice call when I do that.
Professionally I'm... still in school. Here's a lengthy, detailed discussion as to why that is: anxiety sucks. Phew, that was so lengthy, glad that's over! Anyway, I'm a nuclear engineering major and plan to graduate in 4 semesters. In all seriousness, I don't mind going over the full story once we're talking.
What are Some of Your Hobbies?
Lists are helpful for this one! So here we go:
- D&D. Yes I mentioned it already, I'm doing it here again because it's so nice I'll mention it twice! Also, I find that lists are more impressive with more bullet points. Longer bullet points too, that makes it look even more impressive.
- Hockey. When I'm not looking for potential mates, I spend my time shitposting on the hockey subreddit. I've been to 3 NHL games so far and plan to go to more!
- Anything related to animals. For reference, some of the channels I watch on YouTube are Snake Discovery, Clint's Reptiles and Girl with the Dogs.
- Tech stuff. Electric cars, phones, gadgets, all of it is at least of some casual interest to me.
Someone who's not an asshole, shares some interests with me, willing to do some basic stuff (sharing a picture, voice calling, video calling eventually) and treats me with respect. Honestly, not a long list. Physically, I would prefer someone who's of a thinner-average body type as that is what I am. I've made exceptions to this before though, so if you feel that I'm irresistible and not entirely obnoxious, feel free to reach out.
What I want the most though? Just intimacy. I think that's what we all want at the end. That is why this post is marked as NSFW because I am definitely not opposed to it going that way, but I also go at the pace of my partner and respect their boundaries.
What do You Look Like?
I'm 5'5 as mentioned before, 125 lbs, white, brown hair, green eyes, and have glasses that might as well be made of aquarium glass. Hopefully that gives you a vivid enough picture for now, but an actual picture is worth 1000 words so once we've exchanged a few messages I can share that.
And that, dear reader, is the end of my hopefully well-formatted and not-at-all-obnoxious wall of text. Hope you enjoyed reading it, and I hope to hear from you! If I don't, have a great whatever time of day it happens to be in your timezone!
2024.05.19 04:40 viranizo Need a Finder’s Token
Hey y’all, just started my 2nd playthrough and like a dummy, I found my 1st seeker token but didn’t mark where I found it. I’ve already started the sphinx’s quest and am trying to retrace my steps to figure out where it is.
Oddly enough, I believe it’s in Battahl as I rushed through trying to get to the Volcanic Island Camp. All I remember is that it was in a corner near a body of water or river. However, when I looked through a guide, I couldn’t figure out where that spot was and have gone through most of what seemed close.
TL;DR, it’s driving me crazy and although I will keep trying to find it, it’d be much appreciated if anyone has a spare Finder’s Token they can gift to my pawn on PSN so I can keep my sanity haha.
Please help an Arisen out.
PSN Pawn ID: 9URPIIURXM5I
submitted by viranizo to DragonsDogma2 [link] [comments]
Oddly enough, I believe it’s in Battahl as I rushed through trying to get to the Volcanic Island Camp. All I remember is that it was in a corner near a body of water or river. However, when I looked through a guide, I couldn’t figure out where that spot was and have gone through most of what seemed close.
TL;DR, it’s driving me crazy and although I will keep trying to find it, it’d be much appreciated if anyone has a spare Finder’s Token they can gift to my pawn on PSN so I can keep my sanity haha.
Please help an Arisen out.
PSN Pawn ID: 9URPIIURXM5I
2024.05.19 04:35 lvyahya Doctors think It’s all in my head
Hey guys so 3 weeks after my sexual encounter I developed a lesion. It didn’t hurt, itch or burn. It lasted for a month to heal and it left a scar or mark. I did get it swabbed and it came back negative, though it was crusted so I don’t know how accurate it came back. Since then I’ve had EBV antibodies and I’ve also have had tingling feelings in my feet, scrotum and in my head. Sometimes I get these weird pinching feelings in my fingers, hands, toes, legs everywhere. Sometimes feeling pressure or vibration in my ears. It’s been a month now since having these symptoms and no outbreak yet. I recently got a PCR Blood Test and that was also negative. Doctor is telling me i’m just being anxious and it’s all in my head. That all my test came back negative and they’re telling me it doesn’t sound herpetic since i’m having these weird nerve feelings all over my body and it would rather be in one spot or location. Also that my lesion didn’t itch or was painful or cluster at all. I haven’t had another lesion i could swab since the one that appeared and it’s been a month almost 2 :( I don’t know if i’ll ever get another lesion to swab, I do have another appointment with quest on Tuesday since no one wants to give me the IgG blood test. It will be my 11 week mark so I hope I have antibodies that would show me If I have anything. What do you guys think? It’s been 2 months now about to be 3 since my last sexual encounter
submitted by lvyahya to Herpes [link] [comments]
2024.05.19 04:31 ACNH-queen-297 For anyone feeling like you’re not enough, you’re not alone.
I just found this subreddit today after feeling almost completely alone for the last 5 years. And because I’ve found it and because reading about everyone else’s stories has fulfilled a need so deep I don’t even know how to begin to explain, I’d like to share mine.
I’m 28, married for almost 5 years, and we’ve never achieved penetrative sex. My husband and I have both been Christians our entire lives and we both decided to wait until marriage to have sex. Almost all the other guys I’d been with before him were not virgins, but they knew I was waiting until marriage and so we never did anything more than touching/intense make out sessions. My husband and I never even saw each other naked until our wedding night, when, of course, we tried having sex for the first time.
Now, I was always pretty sure something was wrong with me. I was never able to get a tampon in, I tried going to get a Pap smear so I could be put on birth control for my horrible period pains and they weren’t able to perform the pap because I was in so much pain. I remember telling the NP I was a virgin and I’ve never put anything up there before but it’s almost like she didn’t believe me because she proceeded to shove the terrible plastic speculum right into me in one swift motion and my entire body trembled in pain, I was a sobbing mess, and she just said “oh we can’t complete the exam because it looks like you’ve started your period.” More like you broke my hymen, thanks. Tried again a month later and had another failed attempt. After that I was completely traumatized. I remember crying in the stirrups to the NP asking her how was I ever going to be able to have sex if it was that painful and she just said “sex is completely different, when you’re aroused you’ll be fine.” Wrong. That was in 2017. I got married in 2019 and didn’t attempt another Pap smear until 2022.
I was always open with my husband even before we were married that I had these issues and that I was worried what it would mean for us when the time came, so on our wedding night neither of us were surprised that we couldn’t have sex. And honestly, I think a big part of the reason it’s been almost 5 whole years and we still haven’t achieved full PIV is because we have such a great sex life even without it. Because we couldn’t have penetrative sex we got creative, adventurous, we focus on each other because we’re basically taking turns. We both always achieve orgasm. But there’s just always that part of me saying I’m broken, I’m not enough, he’s gonna get tired of this, he needs more, and any other girl could give that to him and I can’t. (Let me be clear- these are MY feelings, ones I’ve told my husband about and he could not feel more differently. He’s always assured me he is more than happy with where we are and would never want anyone else) But alas, the guilt still eats me alive telling me I’m not a real woman, I’m not a good wife, I’ll never be enough, and he deserves better. I’ve officially gotten to the point where I’m determined to make this happen for both of us, and I’ve gotten serious about my dilator usage with a specific goal in mind.
I purchased vaginal dilators (I use SoulSource) on my own after researching pain during sex. At first I couldn’t even get the smallest one in without pain (about the size of a pinkie finger). I tried having my husband help me use them but realized I need to be able to control the angle and speed on insertion for now. It was not fun. I’d go months in between even trying to use them. I was so ashamed, felt like a complete failure, but at the same time our sex life was great so I didn’t even want to bother with them. The shame took over more as the years went by. We can’t go on like this forever, I want this for both of us.
A few really important things happened that truly changed everything. This isn’t something I talk about with just anyone, but we do have some really great friends and family that know everything. I was talking with a really good friend of mine (who’s always been a bit of a sex fanatic) about how I think I don’t like using the dilators because of a mental block - like, it hurts, it’s awkward, I don’t know where I should be when I do it etc. She said “your vagina is a muscle, you’re just stretching it out. You’ve got to think of it like a workout” and as simple as it sounds, that’s what I really needed to hear. It changed my whole mindset, I realized I needed to do it routinely, for set periods of time, and I don’t need to be embarrassed (now before you say “well duh” remember I bought these dilators on my own, I didn’t trust the healthcare professionals anymore, so I was just winging it). I taught myself my routine. I listened to my body about when I could size up. I realized on my own that deep breathing helped and that once the size didn’t hurt anymore I should move it around and in and out. Nobody told me that shit. I did it by myself, for myself and my husband, and nobody else knew about all of this until I FINALLY decided to go try another Pap smear and found the most amazing NP in the world.
I sat in her office, cried, and told her everything about my previous Pap smear, how I still haven’t been able to have sex with my husband, how I’ve been using the dilators and. she. LISTENED. She did my pap with a juvenile sized speculum that was stainless steel and heated in a warming drawer and told me any time I go anywhere for a pap to call the office and make sure they have that or find somewhere that does. I got through the pap with MINIMAL pain. Then she did an internal exam with her finger, figuring out the spots that were the most painful. I was diagnosed with Vaginismus/Vulvodynia that day. It was the first day I felt seen, heard and validated.
I’d been slowly progressing with my dilators, trying to keep routine and falling out of habit, only ever able to get to size 6 out of 8 for over a year and now my husband and I are traveling to Iceland for our 5th wedding anniversary in two weeks and my goal is to have PIV while on our trip. I use the dilators every other day, I’m on size 7 out of the 8 Soul Source dilators and my husband is a little bigger than 8, but I believe we’ll get there. I’ve never felt this much hope in my journey so far, I’m so incredibly proud of my body and how far it’s come. Say a lil prayer for us if you got this far. I don’t care if nobody reads this because really, this is for me. I’m done being ashamed and I wanted my story out there, because reading everyone else’s really helped me.
submitted by ACNH-queen-297 to vaginismus [link] [comments]
I’m 28, married for almost 5 years, and we’ve never achieved penetrative sex. My husband and I have both been Christians our entire lives and we both decided to wait until marriage to have sex. Almost all the other guys I’d been with before him were not virgins, but they knew I was waiting until marriage and so we never did anything more than touching/intense make out sessions. My husband and I never even saw each other naked until our wedding night, when, of course, we tried having sex for the first time.
Now, I was always pretty sure something was wrong with me. I was never able to get a tampon in, I tried going to get a Pap smear so I could be put on birth control for my horrible period pains and they weren’t able to perform the pap because I was in so much pain. I remember telling the NP I was a virgin and I’ve never put anything up there before but it’s almost like she didn’t believe me because she proceeded to shove the terrible plastic speculum right into me in one swift motion and my entire body trembled in pain, I was a sobbing mess, and she just said “oh we can’t complete the exam because it looks like you’ve started your period.” More like you broke my hymen, thanks. Tried again a month later and had another failed attempt. After that I was completely traumatized. I remember crying in the stirrups to the NP asking her how was I ever going to be able to have sex if it was that painful and she just said “sex is completely different, when you’re aroused you’ll be fine.” Wrong. That was in 2017. I got married in 2019 and didn’t attempt another Pap smear until 2022.
I was always open with my husband even before we were married that I had these issues and that I was worried what it would mean for us when the time came, so on our wedding night neither of us were surprised that we couldn’t have sex. And honestly, I think a big part of the reason it’s been almost 5 whole years and we still haven’t achieved full PIV is because we have such a great sex life even without it. Because we couldn’t have penetrative sex we got creative, adventurous, we focus on each other because we’re basically taking turns. We both always achieve orgasm. But there’s just always that part of me saying I’m broken, I’m not enough, he’s gonna get tired of this, he needs more, and any other girl could give that to him and I can’t. (Let me be clear- these are MY feelings, ones I’ve told my husband about and he could not feel more differently. He’s always assured me he is more than happy with where we are and would never want anyone else) But alas, the guilt still eats me alive telling me I’m not a real woman, I’m not a good wife, I’ll never be enough, and he deserves better. I’ve officially gotten to the point where I’m determined to make this happen for both of us, and I’ve gotten serious about my dilator usage with a specific goal in mind.
I purchased vaginal dilators (I use SoulSource) on my own after researching pain during sex. At first I couldn’t even get the smallest one in without pain (about the size of a pinkie finger). I tried having my husband help me use them but realized I need to be able to control the angle and speed on insertion for now. It was not fun. I’d go months in between even trying to use them. I was so ashamed, felt like a complete failure, but at the same time our sex life was great so I didn’t even want to bother with them. The shame took over more as the years went by. We can’t go on like this forever, I want this for both of us.
A few really important things happened that truly changed everything. This isn’t something I talk about with just anyone, but we do have some really great friends and family that know everything. I was talking with a really good friend of mine (who’s always been a bit of a sex fanatic) about how I think I don’t like using the dilators because of a mental block - like, it hurts, it’s awkward, I don’t know where I should be when I do it etc. She said “your vagina is a muscle, you’re just stretching it out. You’ve got to think of it like a workout” and as simple as it sounds, that’s what I really needed to hear. It changed my whole mindset, I realized I needed to do it routinely, for set periods of time, and I don’t need to be embarrassed (now before you say “well duh” remember I bought these dilators on my own, I didn’t trust the healthcare professionals anymore, so I was just winging it). I taught myself my routine. I listened to my body about when I could size up. I realized on my own that deep breathing helped and that once the size didn’t hurt anymore I should move it around and in and out. Nobody told me that shit. I did it by myself, for myself and my husband, and nobody else knew about all of this until I FINALLY decided to go try another Pap smear and found the most amazing NP in the world.
I sat in her office, cried, and told her everything about my previous Pap smear, how I still haven’t been able to have sex with my husband, how I’ve been using the dilators and. she. LISTENED. She did my pap with a juvenile sized speculum that was stainless steel and heated in a warming drawer and told me any time I go anywhere for a pap to call the office and make sure they have that or find somewhere that does. I got through the pap with MINIMAL pain. Then she did an internal exam with her finger, figuring out the spots that were the most painful. I was diagnosed with Vaginismus/Vulvodynia that day. It was the first day I felt seen, heard and validated.
I’d been slowly progressing with my dilators, trying to keep routine and falling out of habit, only ever able to get to size 6 out of 8 for over a year and now my husband and I are traveling to Iceland for our 5th wedding anniversary in two weeks and my goal is to have PIV while on our trip. I use the dilators every other day, I’m on size 7 out of the 8 Soul Source dilators and my husband is a little bigger than 8, but I believe we’ll get there. I’ve never felt this much hope in my journey so far, I’m so incredibly proud of my body and how far it’s come. Say a lil prayer for us if you got this far. I don’t care if nobody reads this because really, this is for me. I’m done being ashamed and I wanted my story out there, because reading everyone else’s really helped me.
2024.05.19 04:31 OddSprinkles4676 7 weeks po update!
hello again, i’m 20 and had a full robotic laparoscopic hysterectomy (kept ovaries) about 7 weeks ago due to endometrial cancer, i have to say recovery for me personally was not bad whatsoever (for some extra info im on the heavy side about 290) the first couple weeks it didn’t really hurt it felt like a tore a muscle in my stomach, i had bowel movements the second i got home (went home same day about 2 hours after surgery) the worst part was honestly peeing after the catheter (it hurts but i promise nothing to be too nervous about) it went away i would say about the 6th time using the bathroom. i also stopped spotting the day of surgery. at my 3 week post op my pelvic exam was great. and for everyone worried about sleeping positions DO NOT WORRY your body will tell you if it doesn’t like it, by day 4 i personally was able to sleep on my side and then able to lay on my stomach by the second week. i heavily suggest a squishmallow it was my favorite thing. gas pains i didn’t really have because i learned my surgeon (i don’t believe it’s the same for every surgeon this is just my experience) my surgeon drains majority of the gas out, i also took gas x for two days afterwards just to be safe. overall it’s been a very good experience and i would never change the decision i made. i hope everyone who has had a surgery is doing well and i hope to everyone who is getting one that it goes wonderfully (if you have any questions please feel free to ask)
submitted by OddSprinkles4676 to hysterectomy [link] [comments]
2024.05.19 04:30 rosegoldgloss Swoop posts new message: "Finally Opening Up" (TW: DV, illness, MH)
Swoop has shared the following message on her YouTube page's community tab:
"Finally Opening Up" (link)
submitted by rosegoldgloss to SwoopSnarks [link] [comments]
"Finally Opening Up" (link)
TW: DV, illness, MH Tldr: Recent physical as\ault and medical trauma*
Hey friends. This is the most difficult thing I’ve ever shared, but dealing with this privately for so long, while trying to put on a “brave” face has been destroying me, and fear of oversharing has left me feeling painfully disconnected from all of you, the community whom I cherish so deeply. But everything has come to a head recently, when I was violently physically assaulted, battered, and threatened by a person who has abused me in the past.
Most of you know that I am a survivor of r*pe and ab*se as a child and adult, being slowly on the journey of trying to process both publicly and privately. I’m imperfect in this journey, but trying. In addition, for most of my life, I have been living with chronic illness, spinal injuries, and chronic pain from trauma as well as fibromyalgia. And for the past 2+ years I have been living in a nightmare.
I have been living with widespread partial and total limb numbness, tingling, and electric shocks in both my arms, hands, legs, and feet, as well as deep spasms. At times it’s excruciating and would intensify without warning. It has left me with extended periods where I can’t feel parts of my body at all, while other times my body is on fire. A team of doctors had put on the “MS Protocol” meaning, my doctor, who has Multiple Sclerosis, has been evaluating me for MS. At this time I have not been officially diagnosed, while being told they cannot rule it out, and to expect a long process.
In addition, after endless MRIs and painful procedures, my doctor found white spots within my spine. I was told they have only seen this once before, where what appeared to be lesions were tumors, and they have me regularly testing for cancer, indefinitely. I do not have answers yet. This has caused a depression and level of anxiety that has felt too much to handle, so I’ve buried it deep and kept it private, even from many close to me.
On top of this, I was recently physically battered by a person who has abused me previously. I was trying to escape being cornered in a room when I was attacked from behind and tried to defend myself but it wasn’t enough. As a result, I am struggling with an immense amount of physical trauma, and mentally I’m just a shell of myself. I’m so embarrassed that after telling so many “it’s not your fault” - I still can’t tell myself.
I am neurodivergent, and get stuck in “brain loops” where I spiral into self harm and feelings of uncontrollable dread and worthlessness. I’ve tried my best to combat the loops by throwing myself in my work, even when I could hardly feel my own hands, and am left feeling massive guilt if my work feels incomplete, sloppy, out of touch or disconnected. I tried taking on projects that became too triggering, and had to walk away, riddled with shame that I might be letting anyone down for not covering a story. Everything about what I’m going through has shifted my perception of stories and how I cover them, trying to introduce more perspectives (you may or may not have noticed) and I hope to continue to develop and find more eloquent and inclusive ways to do so. Petty has always been my coping mechanism to mask my pain, but now I wish to focus more on perspective.
I have sat down countless times to film a video about my trauma, and may try to post one, the way I used to with our community. I have been keeping things private out of fear that people would think I’m “trauma dumping” or asking for sympathy. I’ve realized: that is an irrational fear and trauma response, because, like so many other survivors, I have been conditioned to feel guilty for sharing, or like I’m just looking for attention. If that’s how someone interprets me, that’s ok. But holding this has only made the darkness deeper. I no longer want to be an example of suffering in silence, in hopes someone else might feel seen.
I am also working to take some time away to find healing. I have a number of previous videos already in production from a while ago, and contractual obligations I can’t cancel, so I’ll likely have someone upload them for me, so that I can try to breathe for once, and you’re not without the content you generously spend your time with. I don’t know how much time I will or won’t take, but it’s a start. Thank you for your openness to hearing my story. I’m broken, but still here.
I feel like I’ve been fighting for my life, and this is not a battle I want to lose.
Love you all, Swoop
2024.05.19 04:24 Lopsided_Buddy [Acne] Texture and Acne
![[Acne] Texture and Acne](https://b.thumbs.redditmedia.com/rRz4SFcndgMgKmAwbV979huYs-BXLL0rYmQWhBy0jrU.jpg "[Acne] Texture and Acne") | I’ve been having these small bumps/ clogged spots all over my cheeks for the past year and I can’t seem to get rid of them. I generally have pretty dry skin but do get under the skin pimples every 2-3 months. submitted by Lopsided_Buddy to SkincareAddiction [link] [comments] This is my morning current routine: La Roche-Posay Toleriane Hydrating Gentle Cleanser Good Molecules Hyaluronic Acid Boosting Essence Good Molecules Niacinamide Serum Good Molecules Discoloration Correcting Body Treatment La Roche Posay Lipikar AP+M Triple Repair Body Moisturizer Supergoop! Play Everyday Lotion SPF Night routine: Panoxyl Acne Foaming Wash (only every two or three days) La Roche-Posay Toleriane Hydrating Gentle Cleanser Good Molecules Hyaluronic Acid Boosting Essence La Roche Posay Lipikar AP+M Triple Repair Body Moisturizer If anyone has any suggestions on what to switch out or add in to my routine to clear up my skin, I’d appreciate it!!! |
2024.05.19 04:13 micahwillarthy They Nuked America For World Peace pt 3
Chapter 3
Hurricane Georg.
Our first contact with the new world was a colossal hurricane. Veins of lightning shattered through the black, swirling clouds. I had just tried to calm the nerves of the ship when I saw Suri sitting in the hall beneath the control room.
She was in a lounge corner with her suitcase opened and her supplies scattered across the small table. The little light from the window illuminated her drawing for me to see over her shoulder.
The black and white sketch began at the bow of the ship. The figure of a man in facing the open ocean. Ahead of him, the familiar despair of Hurricane Georg. The man had his back towards the artist, but his stature sailed through the fierce storm without worry. His gaze only in the beautiful sight of home on the other side.
Her pencil began to etch the details of his crewmans jacket, "You have a gift, Suri. Truly, you do."
She was ahead of me, she did not jump or gasp as I had expected, "Thank you, Capi. I saw you in the reflection. Im hard to get the jump on."
"Then this shouldnt surprise you," I smiled and approached her table. "My capi stars are on the right side, "I stepped back and tapped my shoulder."
Disappointment inked her face, darkening her mood, "Dam."
I laughed and pulled up a chair. She had captured the view from the window perfectly and I made a point to tell her. As we talked the storm outside began to fade. The world around us was healed and the worries of yesterday had never existed.
Her eyes were near black, in color, and her skin was incredibly warm. Physical characteristic were useless to determine where a person was from, but 500 years ago, she would have fit at home with the people of the Middle East. Had I been a different man, her beauty and brain would make a perfect partner.
The longer I stared, the darker the world around us became. Until she broke my gaze and looked shocked at something through the window.
"Did you see that?"
"No, what was it?"
"I-Im not sure..." her face drained of color as the harsh rocking of the storm was interrupted by something else. Suri and I were flung off our chairs onto the floor, her supplies pelting us as they flew through the air. I tried to stand, but my legs were too soft to make it easy.
I struggled to a kneel using the bolted-down desk. Suri gasped and I looked down. The longer I looked, the itchier it became. Once more the world grew darker and I only had enough energy for a simple joke.
"Mr. Morgs was right about those things."
"Gud morning, Capi!" Ennay cheered from the wall-mounted screen.
I struggled to sit myself up. I was in the infirmary, only Ennay was there to greet me. My jacket was gone. All I had on was a white t-shirt and grey shorts.
"Officer Angelhart had your attire taken to be cleaned," Ennay chimed in, "Today is Wednesday, sir, 4:13am. Its the morning after you lost consciousness."
I thanked him and asked him to catch me up on the happenings in the passed half day.
"The reality is unclear, Capi, but Helmsman Archer believes we were attacked by a... a sea monster, sir."
"Archer? Hes no storyteller. Why?" I swung my legs over the bed, "get him down here or tell him im on my way."
Ennay surprised me with his fast response, "No. Sir, We had a breach. Ms. Aziz told the Doctor you had severed and artery during a spell of turbulence. The New Horizon had actually made contact with something what breached the hull. Damage Control responded in 4 minutes and were quick to contain flooding. However, we sustained a second breach."
Before he could continue, I dropped back onto the bed, "Whats the status?"
"On the New Horizon? Operational. A few sections had to be permanently sealed until we are out of this storm."
"And Damage Control?"
Ennay did not respond as quickly as he had been. It felt like an eternity before he told me, "6 casualties," the room fell completely silent. I couldnt even hear my heart beating, "5 fatalities. Sergant Franccigo Blanco is recovering in Infirmary 4C. He is unconscious, but has sustained gruesome wounds. Officer Angelhart declared a S.O.E. to assume your position. Otherwise,..."
"Yes, yes, the prosthetics. I hate that system."
"Well, sir, you are able to disable it."
"What?"
"Its not a very common scenario, but since we are not in International Sea, the law requiring your presence does not necessarily need to be enforced."
I sat back and thought for a second, "Ill discuss it with Dr. Mally. Where are they all?"
"Dr. Mally is in Infirmary 4C with Sergant Blanco. Officer Angelhart is your office filling out an incident report for both your accident and the breaches."
"Thank you, Ennay. Tell Max I am on my way and then let Dr. Mally know I will meet her shortly."
"Of course, sir."
My office was silent except for the fan gently spinning from the ceiling. Across from me was a young man, mid-twenties, with dusty blond hair. His uniform was perfect, he has even removed his hat on the perfect beat upon entering the room.
The appearance and demeanor any ship captain would be beyond proud to accept on his ship. It had just been dumb luck that he had lost both of his eyes to shrapnel sealing off the lower corridors during the state of emergency yesterday.
I poured Mr. Blanco a drink, 2444 Geoff Russel - The Hearty Mans Drink. I needed to finish the incident report, but Id never ask a man to relive what he had without a bit of buzz to his bite.
"So, Sargent Blanco, I-"
"You can call me, Fran, Capi."
"And you can call me Santago, for tonight anyway," I continued my questions. I tried my best to stay shallow and not dive deep into the pain Fran had endures just hours ago.
We talked about the 5 fatalities.
"Did you... see... them die?"
The gauze replacing his eyes stared at me, blankly. His face was uncanny, unhuman. Like the man inside may actually have been a 6th dead body.
"No," he quickly took a drink, "I did hear them, though. They yelled and screamed for me to open the door. I- I couldnt see. I thought the sea water had poisoned me somehow. I kept rubbing and rubbing my eyes hoping to get whatever radioactive stuff out of my head..." He took a breath. He was remarkably calm. Agitated, of course. But calm.
He continued, "I looked through the window on the bulkhead and the last thing I saw was Aleks staring back at me. His eyes were... he was calling out for me, I am sure of it. But something got him and he was sucked out."
"I am so sorry, Fran," I tried to write as quietly as possible to not remind him of the formality, "Do you know what got him?"
He finished his glass. As he set it down, he missed the table. The cup did not shatter, but it had jolted Fran from his memory. He lost his composure.
He started yelling at me about a horrific beast he had seen. How Aleks, Private Aleksander Igorsen, had been encased in blood and black sludge. He swung his hands wildly at the table in a rage, but had only managed to knock over a lamp.
Pity does not begin to describe what I felt watching him. Like a bleeding animal continuing to run from the wolves despite not knowing he was already surrounded. In him, I saw death. I saw anger. I saw fear. I saw what he was feeling imaging the creature that killed his men.
I grappled with him, trying to make my location known and always talking to him. I was not some monster from the unknown blackness set on hunting him and he needed to know that. He continued to struggle until I had completely engulfed his whirlwind into a hug. The screams turned to cries and then to whimpers.
After some time, I dismissed him back to his room and instructed Ennay that he was on suicide watch. Sergant Franccigo Blanco had earned a promotion or a permanent dismissal, whichever he wanted, but I needed him to take time to himself before I reminded him where we are.
The storm was intense, but at least it was consistent. By Katzs reckoning, we are approaching the halfway point of this hurricane. We had entered it 51 hours ago and Katz had said we are another 50 away from clear skies.
Unfortunately for all of us, Katzs theory was not seen through.
It began with our solar panelling being severed from their operating power banks. That was not a major issue, hydropower was our primary source. The issue arose when the New Horizon began to spin.
I had radioed the Helmsman demanding why we are weighing anchor, but the anchor was still resting above water. He said no one dropped the anchor. Something else entirely had us. We rushed to every window, every pane of glass to search for whatever it was that was stopping us.
Ennay spoke out, "Capi, Major Gorlammi has spotted our snag at 129 degrees. Nearest viewpoint is Residential Room L3D, assigned to L-"
I ignored the rest, I needed to see what was in that window. Luckily for me, Lucy Partridge was not home. I burst through the door and, for the first time, I saw a behemoth of a serpent-like creature sticking out of the water. I could not see a head, nor tail. I also had no idea if what I saw was the body or an appendage connected to some inconceivably large beast.
After enough time, I manage to figure out one of the ships heavy guns had pierced the creature and was holding us together. Our best bet was to either rotate the gun and hope its dislodged or to remove the gun entirely.
I relayed this information to Ennay to alerted the Gunner Teams and Damage Control. Yet, none of them would be given the chance. In the distance, silhouetted by sparks of lightning the size of the ship, I saw the head of the creature. It must have been miles away, but the size was unparalleled. Its head leaped from the water and swiveled back towards us. It was like a colossal eel. Flashes of light showed through its skin like veins until it sent a surge into the gun and into the ship.
The lights went out across the boat. The only light was the occasional flash from outside. It was completely dark, but I knew it was still coming for us.
I ran out of the quarters as emergency lights slowly burned. The hallway must have been 100 feet long before Id reach the staircase, but when I was halfway through, my feet left the ground.
I felt weightless for a moment. The lights burned out and all around me was darkness. My heart was incredibly slow or maybe time had slowed. I felt the doorframe to Mrs. Partridges room snap against my elbow. There was no pain. I didnt even feel pain when glass cut across my back as I was hurled through the shattered window.
I crashed into the water, it must have been hundreds of feet below me. I was in shock. I looked around and all I saw was darkness. Then, suddenly, all I saw was light. The eel sent a pulse through its body and for the first time I saw the monster entirely. It surrounded the ship above water, coiled all about the waves, and entangled the entire ocean as deep as I could see.
This is not a colossal eel surviving a hurricane.
This colossal eel is the very being causing the hurricane.
A cosmic terror named Hurricane Georg.
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Hurricane Georg.
Our first contact with the new world was a colossal hurricane. Veins of lightning shattered through the black, swirling clouds. I had just tried to calm the nerves of the ship when I saw Suri sitting in the hall beneath the control room.
She was in a lounge corner with her suitcase opened and her supplies scattered across the small table. The little light from the window illuminated her drawing for me to see over her shoulder.
The black and white sketch began at the bow of the ship. The figure of a man in facing the open ocean. Ahead of him, the familiar despair of Hurricane Georg. The man had his back towards the artist, but his stature sailed through the fierce storm without worry. His gaze only in the beautiful sight of home on the other side.
Her pencil began to etch the details of his crewmans jacket, "You have a gift, Suri. Truly, you do."
She was ahead of me, she did not jump or gasp as I had expected, "Thank you, Capi. I saw you in the reflection. Im hard to get the jump on."
"Then this shouldnt surprise you," I smiled and approached her table. "My capi stars are on the right side, "I stepped back and tapped my shoulder."
Disappointment inked her face, darkening her mood, "Dam."
I laughed and pulled up a chair. She had captured the view from the window perfectly and I made a point to tell her. As we talked the storm outside began to fade. The world around us was healed and the worries of yesterday had never existed.
Her eyes were near black, in color, and her skin was incredibly warm. Physical characteristic were useless to determine where a person was from, but 500 years ago, she would have fit at home with the people of the Middle East. Had I been a different man, her beauty and brain would make a perfect partner.
The longer I stared, the darker the world around us became. Until she broke my gaze and looked shocked at something through the window.
"Did you see that?"
"No, what was it?"
"I-Im not sure..." her face drained of color as the harsh rocking of the storm was interrupted by something else. Suri and I were flung off our chairs onto the floor, her supplies pelting us as they flew through the air. I tried to stand, but my legs were too soft to make it easy.
I struggled to a kneel using the bolted-down desk. Suri gasped and I looked down. The longer I looked, the itchier it became. Once more the world grew darker and I only had enough energy for a simple joke.
"Mr. Morgs was right about those things."
I struggled to sit myself up. I was in the infirmary, only Ennay was there to greet me. My jacket was gone. All I had on was a white t-shirt and grey shorts.
"Officer Angelhart had your attire taken to be cleaned," Ennay chimed in, "Today is Wednesday, sir, 4:13am. Its the morning after you lost consciousness."
I thanked him and asked him to catch me up on the happenings in the passed half day.
"The reality is unclear, Capi, but Helmsman Archer believes we were attacked by a... a sea monster, sir."
"Archer? Hes no storyteller. Why?" I swung my legs over the bed, "get him down here or tell him im on my way."
Ennay surprised me with his fast response, "No. Sir, We had a breach. Ms. Aziz told the Doctor you had severed and artery during a spell of turbulence. The New Horizon had actually made contact with something what breached the hull. Damage Control responded in 4 minutes and were quick to contain flooding. However, we sustained a second breach."
Before he could continue, I dropped back onto the bed, "Whats the status?"
"On the New Horizon? Operational. A few sections had to be permanently sealed until we are out of this storm."
"And Damage Control?"
Ennay did not respond as quickly as he had been. It felt like an eternity before he told me, "6 casualties," the room fell completely silent. I couldnt even hear my heart beating, "5 fatalities. Sergant Franccigo Blanco is recovering in Infirmary 4C. He is unconscious, but has sustained gruesome wounds. Officer Angelhart declared a S.O.E. to assume your position. Otherwise,..."
"Yes, yes, the prosthetics. I hate that system."
"Well, sir, you are able to disable it."
"What?"
"Its not a very common scenario, but since we are not in International Sea, the law requiring your presence does not necessarily need to be enforced."
I sat back and thought for a second, "Ill discuss it with Dr. Mally. Where are they all?"
"Dr. Mally is in Infirmary 4C with Sergant Blanco. Officer Angelhart is your office filling out an incident report for both your accident and the breaches."
"Thank you, Ennay. Tell Max I am on my way and then let Dr. Mally know I will meet her shortly."
"Of course, sir."
The appearance and demeanor any ship captain would be beyond proud to accept on his ship. It had just been dumb luck that he had lost both of his eyes to shrapnel sealing off the lower corridors during the state of emergency yesterday.
I poured Mr. Blanco a drink, 2444 Geoff Russel - The Hearty Mans Drink. I needed to finish the incident report, but Id never ask a man to relive what he had without a bit of buzz to his bite.
"So, Sargent Blanco, I-"
"You can call me, Fran, Capi."
"And you can call me Santago, for tonight anyway," I continued my questions. I tried my best to stay shallow and not dive deep into the pain Fran had endures just hours ago.
We talked about the 5 fatalities.
"Did you... see... them die?"
The gauze replacing his eyes stared at me, blankly. His face was uncanny, unhuman. Like the man inside may actually have been a 6th dead body.
"No," he quickly took a drink, "I did hear them, though. They yelled and screamed for me to open the door. I- I couldnt see. I thought the sea water had poisoned me somehow. I kept rubbing and rubbing my eyes hoping to get whatever radioactive stuff out of my head..." He took a breath. He was remarkably calm. Agitated, of course. But calm.
He continued, "I looked through the window on the bulkhead and the last thing I saw was Aleks staring back at me. His eyes were... he was calling out for me, I am sure of it. But something got him and he was sucked out."
"I am so sorry, Fran," I tried to write as quietly as possible to not remind him of the formality, "Do you know what got him?"
He finished his glass. As he set it down, he missed the table. The cup did not shatter, but it had jolted Fran from his memory. He lost his composure.
He started yelling at me about a horrific beast he had seen. How Aleks, Private Aleksander Igorsen, had been encased in blood and black sludge. He swung his hands wildly at the table in a rage, but had only managed to knock over a lamp.
Pity does not begin to describe what I felt watching him. Like a bleeding animal continuing to run from the wolves despite not knowing he was already surrounded. In him, I saw death. I saw anger. I saw fear. I saw what he was feeling imaging the creature that killed his men.
I grappled with him, trying to make my location known and always talking to him. I was not some monster from the unknown blackness set on hunting him and he needed to know that. He continued to struggle until I had completely engulfed his whirlwind into a hug. The screams turned to cries and then to whimpers.
After some time, I dismissed him back to his room and instructed Ennay that he was on suicide watch. Sergant Franccigo Blanco had earned a promotion or a permanent dismissal, whichever he wanted, but I needed him to take time to himself before I reminded him where we are.
Unfortunately for all of us, Katzs theory was not seen through.
It began with our solar panelling being severed from their operating power banks. That was not a major issue, hydropower was our primary source. The issue arose when the New Horizon began to spin.
I had radioed the Helmsman demanding why we are weighing anchor, but the anchor was still resting above water. He said no one dropped the anchor. Something else entirely had us. We rushed to every window, every pane of glass to search for whatever it was that was stopping us.
Ennay spoke out, "Capi, Major Gorlammi has spotted our snag at 129 degrees. Nearest viewpoint is Residential Room L3D, assigned to L-"
I ignored the rest, I needed to see what was in that window. Luckily for me, Lucy Partridge was not home. I burst through the door and, for the first time, I saw a behemoth of a serpent-like creature sticking out of the water. I could not see a head, nor tail. I also had no idea if what I saw was the body or an appendage connected to some inconceivably large beast.
After enough time, I manage to figure out one of the ships heavy guns had pierced the creature and was holding us together. Our best bet was to either rotate the gun and hope its dislodged or to remove the gun entirely.
I relayed this information to Ennay to alerted the Gunner Teams and Damage Control. Yet, none of them would be given the chance. In the distance, silhouetted by sparks of lightning the size of the ship, I saw the head of the creature. It must have been miles away, but the size was unparalleled. Its head leaped from the water and swiveled back towards us. It was like a colossal eel. Flashes of light showed through its skin like veins until it sent a surge into the gun and into the ship.
The lights went out across the boat. The only light was the occasional flash from outside. It was completely dark, but I knew it was still coming for us.
I ran out of the quarters as emergency lights slowly burned. The hallway must have been 100 feet long before Id reach the staircase, but when I was halfway through, my feet left the ground.
I felt weightless for a moment. The lights burned out and all around me was darkness. My heart was incredibly slow or maybe time had slowed. I felt the doorframe to Mrs. Partridges room snap against my elbow. There was no pain. I didnt even feel pain when glass cut across my back as I was hurled through the shattered window.
I crashed into the water, it must have been hundreds of feet below me. I was in shock. I looked around and all I saw was darkness. Then, suddenly, all I saw was light. The eel sent a pulse through its body and for the first time I saw the monster entirely. It surrounded the ship above water, coiled all about the waves, and entangled the entire ocean as deep as I could see.
This is not a colossal eel surviving a hurricane.
This colossal eel is the very being causing the hurricane.
A cosmic terror named Hurricane Georg.