Body aches no fever

My baby is nearly 11 weeks old and I’m a single mum so co sleeping is definitely what I want to do I love it so much. I co slept with my first too but I’m finding myself more aware of risks this time around. Basically I cuddle curl around my baby and I have myself one pillow which my arm is under and I’m right on the edge of it. Baby is closest to my breasts as we breastfeed. On his side there’s no pillows or anything. Just his blanket which I keep low so he can’t wiggle down. I have my blanket up to the top of my legs pretty much.
The problem is I’m so cold and my body is aching from the one pillow. With my first I did the same but I had two pillows but as I said I’m more aware of risks now than I was before. I use an owlet which helps me so much though co sleeping. I feel like I can’t wear an oodie to bed to keep myself warm because my shirt is pretty much constantly lifted as my baby seems to most comfortable being on my skin. What’s everyone else doing?

Bro I test in 6 days and I just started feeling some body aches and mild fever 😭😭 not like this… I’m boutta slam water, vitamin c, honey and Tylenol and compel this sickness out

25F, had the flu ~ 3-4 weeks ago and was on antibiotics + Sudafed pseudoephedrine
Hello! Would appreciate any guidance here. So a few weeks ago I was struck down by a horrible flu which resulted in antibiotics for a week. On Wednesday I started to become congested horribly and had body aches. The body aches have passed now (lasted 1 day) and my congestion has cleared up by using decongestants (pseudoephedrine) where I can now breathe through my nose, though I’m finding my ears to be muffled and there’s slight pain in my left ear. I don’t have any swelling, and not a lot of pressure in my face/nose headache, No green mucus or anything like that. I’m wondering if this will pass on its own? Or if I require antibiotics again 🤥😥 I just hate the feeling of my ears not being clear especially after battling a flu for 2-3 weeks already!!!
Thank you

Now that I discovered this community I am pretty confident what is happening to me is all tied back to this lovely little jaw muscle. I see my GP Monday 8am . Hoping for any advice - better details - corrections on my wrong assumptions or statements and ultimately a little reassurance and validation from yall , That what is happening to me right now is all connected and I am not crazy.
10 months ago I had my last 2 upper molars pulled the "ol fashioned" way with the wiggling and the tugging and the ripping and the "Okay now you're going to feel a bit of pressure" followed by the feeling that your jaw is in fact being ripped out of your mouth.
Things started mild 6 months ago intensified around the 3 month mark and now these last 3 weeks I can barely function. I feel the definition of "Malaise" hits perfect. I'm afraid to leave my house the head pain / brain fog has me feeling like I could blackout any second, And the whoosh / vertigo / world spins has me terrified of driving.
So here is what I'm feeling in order of how they hit , everything is on the left side if that matters
Shoulder Blade - Everything is felt along the bottom of the blade.
Jolt of fire and burning on the skin -- A tearing and ripping under the skin on the muscle - Starts to vibrate a tingling fire sensation outward in a semi circle
When I put my tens unit on there the flexing caused pain on the top of shoulder and collarbone.
Always strongest when I lift or carry, random bursts when I'm sitting doing nothing and now even the weight of my phone sends it to 11
Muscles Weakness and Tremors
When the blade pain is bad, I can barely grip anything with my hand, Hands tremble and different arm muscles randomly will twitch and flex.
My jaw is now (2 weeks) shivering / chittering (IDK wtf it is) as if im cold. Digging my fingers into the facial knots will stop it. Always hits when I first get out of bed, then a few times during the day no pattern in the trigger
Eyes/Ears
Couldn't keep my contacts in more than half day , left only felt cloudy hazy blurry - They are brand new lenses and Ive been use the good "eye juice" with no changes. Tried yesterday had to take em out within an hour.
Sharp twinge zap inside the ear - cold trickling sensation down the canal - ends with a punch of pain behind ear on the thick neck tendon
The Whoosh (Is this brain fog? Something else?) Zap / Jolt of electricity on top of my brain but under my skull - The whoosh when i see everything spin a 360 for a second - And ends with me "off kilter' for minutes to hours, As if there is a delay between what my eye sees to when my brain processes. During the spell ill feel "wonky" "Out of body" "tunnelly vision"
The Exploding Head
Its a constant feeling / sensation that my head is filling with sludge.
Forehead & eye have waves of intense dull aches, This part is killing so bad right now, even with NSAIDS it never stops having pressure just relieves it slightly. When it kicks hard and throbs my eyes go really fuzzy and that im going to blackout feeling hits. I have not actually passed or blacked out thank god - my cats would eat me alive in a day -
Jaw/ cheek & gums are twitchy with tightness/fullness and pointy pain shockwaves. The M in the TMJ is a ball of rubberbands and it is so very tender. My face does not appear to have anything swelling outwards from here but poking around in there i find tons of lumps I can break up.. Opening and closing i have full range I think and right now no popping or pains when i do. The area by my ear where the bones connect is so tender, but I dont feel lumps much here. I feel such relief when I hit here with my point tool.
Side of my Neck has small mushy lumps just under the skin and some big daddies deeper in and these ones get stabbyy pains that pulse with my heart.
Back of my neck the bottom half is gravel I can break up pretty easy but I think 3 more come back in their place.
Base of skull I have golf balls burried deep,. They dont throb but when I rub them it is painful but in the best way because I feel such release everywhere else but then they hurt for days. When I rub them to hard and deep oh man sore for days.
All this ends at my upper back and this area is awful. It burns on the surface level 24/7. Icy hot tricks my brain for about and hour. I did some scraping massage here and it sounded like rice krispies and I think hese are adhesions vs knots. .Deeper is full of thick knots, I have the trigger point hook to dig in there and sometimes magic happens and the ache everywhere else gets better for a bit.
The floating bone
It was mild discomfort, odd feelings of tightness inside my actual throat, tingles and a dry feel. It started wiggling around on its own pretty often and when I felt that first water balloon pop inside yikes I was scared AF. Now it just moves whenever it wants. I barely touch it and it "shoots" to the other side. Massaging in here hurts so GOOD! Looking all the way up and feeling from chin towards throat I have many bumps all different sizes. And lastly when I move my head certain ways it feels as if there is a leak happening and almost mucus-y like I could cough but usually dont need to
If you are still with me many apologies this got longer than I thought it would. Today has been my worst day so far, all the pains I mentioned are now hitting at once. Today I was sitting here sobbing in pain it because I was at 13 / 10 and wouldn't ease no matter what I pressed on . 3 Naproxen with 3 ibuprofen gives me about 3 hours of refief right now. I know posture is a part of my pain levels and ive aready ordered some tools so I can correct.

32F, mother of two diagnosed with Hashimoto’s thyroid disease in 2000, Levothyroxine 120 mcg, I have been chronically ill since October of last year. All started with the worst episode of thryoiditis I’ve ever had. I couldn’t speak or eat. Swollen lymph nodes appeared all throughout my neck and collar bone area. I lost 30 lbs between October and December. I’m suffering from body aches, chronic fatigue, bruising, hair loss. In February chest pains and heart palpitations began. Holter monitor confirms palpitations, echocardiogram confirmed no abnormalities. By March, 4 lymph nodes did not go down so a neck CT was ordered. Thyroid is heterogenous (we knew that, it always has been) with sub centimeter nodules and multiple borderline prominent cervical lymph nodes, “short interval follow up needed”. Referred to an ENT for Thyroidectomy evaluation. ENT was not convinced my symptoms are stemming from the thyroid, yet the thyroid and everything else is symptomatic of something else. In April, all the blood tests were ran, only labs out of range were MPV and ACE. Both levels were high. ENT then told me my MPV levels were high back in November too when my PCP Ran blood work but it was never disclosed to me. I also went to the gynecologist in April because I was experiencing abnormal bleeding. I had been bleeding for over 20 days by the time I had my appointment (currently I’ve been bleeding for 53 with only 8 days of none bleeding). During the breast exam she felt multiple lumps in both breasts. Sono/mammo were ordered as well as a pelvic ultrasound. Pelvic ultrasound and Pap smear came back clear. I just received my results back from the mammogram and all I was told was that “abnormalities were found, there is an area in your breast that needs to be looked at again in six months”. I also received a phone call and the woman said I’ll need to get more imaging done every size months for the next two years because after they compared my imaging from a previous mammogram from 2019, the density in the problem breast has changed from dense to even more dense. My ENT called and said he’s referring me to a pulmonologist for the elevated ACE level. I asked him why, what does that mean and he said “though we don’t know exactly what is going on, all we can do is follow the bread crumbs, the ACE level was our next clue and it could possibly mean sarcoidosis”. Then he said if I need a referral for a rheumatologist after the pulmonologist then he’ll do that too. Could anyone please tell me if my care team seem to be on the right track? With $6k in medical debt, I’d love nothing more that to spot seeing specialist after specialist if what I have is another chronic condition that I’ll be stuck with suffering from for the rest of my life. I’ve already been chronically ill since I was very young with thyroid disease so even though this has made it worse, it is nothing new to me. I just don’t want to drown in debt AND still feel like shit. And TBH, I’m more concerned about the blood work than the breast but I’m not sure if I should be considering I have to now get 4 mammograms during the next two years. I didn’t even notice the lumps until she had pointed them out to me. Opinions?

I am 20F. So I have been diagnosed with POTS and recently learned about PEM. Suddenly some things made sense: the random times my lymph nodes on my neck swell up and my throat hurts are probably actually just PEM. It literally feels like the flu- body aches and all. I have even ran a fever with it before. I also meet all the criteria for EDS.
For years now I have went through these random phases where I just CANT sleep enough. I constantly will wake up tired and I slept through so much of my senior year of high school it’s not even funny. Yes I worked and took dual credit classes but no matter what I was exhausted. I don’t do this too often but when it happens it is so hard. My joints already hurt all the time so, I just figured it was EDS. I have also been diagnosed with ADHD but now I am second guessing it. I was diagnosed with the inattentive kind, (what used to be called ADD) but it’s mainly forgetfulness, brain fog, trouble staying focused, etc.
All the comorbidities for EDS and POTS also run in my family. Such as GERD, ASD, Arthritis, MCAS, ADHD, etc. Not looking for a diagnosis, I just don’t know much about this!

I am beyond frustrated. The Dr says if I'm not that bad we can go ahead with the surgery but I'm having my doubts. I'm getting a 1.2 cm bosniak 4 cyst taken out of my left kidney with robot surgery.
From what I understand it's really not a horrible procedure but I really don't think I want to be blowing my nose while I'm recovering. I don't have a cough but I've only been sick since Wed and I could develop one.
I've had this shit 3 times this year. Starts with a sore throat for 4-5 days on day 4 I start getting head congestion. But this time I'm also having body aches and a slight head ache. I've been taking 2-3 showers a day to warm up. I don't have a fever. I've tested negative for covid twice now.
My appointment is 40 mins away and I have to be there at 5:15 am. I'm doing the liquid diet right now and that's not too bad.
What would you do? Go through with it? Or cancel? I have pet sitting lined up and a friend coming from out of state to help for a couple days. I had to do quite a bit of planning for this whole thing.

Im nearing 1 month into toxic mold exposure. Cleaned up some throw up with a towel and forgot it in the hamper (i know). When doing laundry mold powder (?) got in air the whilst unsticking the towel from my other clothes.
For the first two weeks i was sleeping in the same room with no air purifier. I started to develop worse symptoms, such as tight chest, delusion, issues remembering words, body twitches, abdomen aches, and so on. In the thick of it I had horrible insomnia.
Last week, I made the mistake of washing a contaminated pillow with the rest of my bedspread, being uneducated on how to "clean mold." That completely ruined me. Horrible body aches, tight chest, and most of the things in that room cause my symptoms to flare up as well. Im not yet able to move out, but I have since moved to a different room in the same house, albeit on a different floor. I didn't take anything from the room with me except a desk that ive wiped down.
Although, since the contamination of my pillows and bedspread, I've been experiencing what seems to be an all day, never ending headache. Often times this is my only noticeable symptom. Even when I leave the house, the back of my head still pulses with pain. I am only able to find relief when I wash my hair with cold water and shampoo, even if for a few minutes. Some days it goes away, then returning when I come into contact with contaminated clothing. I have dreadlocks, which are highly porous, hence why I fear that I have mycotoxins secured in the kinks of my hair. I notice that when i dry my hair, the fingers I'm using get stiff and hurt a bit. Hair touching my body also tends to cause a burning sensation.
Headaches, above all are my biggest concern with mold toxicity because of the inflammation in the brain it may cause. Am I correct to think that I have mycotoxins lodged in my hair, and how would I go about resolving this?
I already take magnesium and daily vitamins with my morning Adderall. I plan on acquiring activated charcoal, omega 3, as well as dosing 3mg melatonin every other night as I heal from this. I have a weeklong vacation next week that I hope will provide me some, at the very least, temporary relief. Any suggestions for longterm are greatly appreciated.

Looking for advice. My 17 month old was diagnosed with G6PD when he was 2 months old. This morning he presented no appetite and throughout the day had refused fluids. He went to sleep for awhile (it’s nearly midnight my time) but he woke up screaming like he was in pain and his body was burning up. I gave him some meds to try and drop the fever and with this, it seems like his breathing is a little more forced than normal. I’m truly considering taking him to the ER but I don’t want to be “that parent” but this diagnoses is still very new to me. Help?

I'm looking for advice while I wait to see a doc. I've been to the hospital 3 times in the last 2 months for sudden chest pain, shortness of breath, and high blood pressure, thinking I'm having a heart attack. The first time I couldn't breathe, collapsed, and thought I was going to die in the hospital. Each time they've taken my tests, my heart and lungs are perfectly fine.
I just learned about GERD and think I may be experiencing this. I'm not experiencing any of the typical regurgitation, no stomach ache or nausea, the pain is really all centered in the chest with high blood pressure. It's been happening every night for at least a week. I live alone and am terrified every night, I'm so sad, feel so weak, and hyperfixated on both my health and every sensation in my body.
I guess I need to vent more than anything else. This came on so suddenly, with no warning, and no obvious cause. It's really getting to me :'(

So I’m in no way a fitness beginner but i have ocd about never missing a day of working out. But this week i developed a gnarly virus. 102 Fever, Body ache, pink eye. I know scientifically ur body won’t lose progress one day but I still feel I will for some reason so I came here for someone to tell me it’ll be okay😂 I know it sounds stupid but my anxiety would bother me all day if nobody told me it was fine

I have nasty body aches, stuffy nose, slight 100 fever: Advil helps ALOT but, it feels like Covid, tested negative for Covid, flu, strep on the first day of symptoms. It came on abruptly.

Hi! I was exposed to sb on Thursday around 1 it’s now Saturday at 7:30. When I was exposed I took all the proper precautions, washed my hands, kept distance, etc. I haven’t been sick at all other than a little n* that I attribute to anxiety. However I just started running a fever, not feeling n* or any sort of stomach discomfort other then normal feelings of g*s. I just have a 101° fever, headache, body aches, and chills. Anyone think this could be sb?

Me and my boyfriend got together near the beginning of this year, and have only been together for around three months. I've had a couple of boyfriends before him, and they were pretty healthy relationships; none of them ever put their hands on me with harmful intent, none of them ever got their heads turned or were disloyal. Just ended due to me moving away for university / moving to another town.
But this one, he does, (kind of?) he has never punched me, or slapped me, never directly hurt me. But he has done some pretty scary things. It started small, the first thing was a shove. A light shove when I was doing my makeup, it meant almost nothing to me. He apologised profusely and said it wouldn't happen again. I'm worrying because, at one point I could list all of the times he touched me in a harmful way. But now only the first instance and the worst instance stick out. It has happened so many times. The worst in my opinion was when I was sick, we were arguing, I was sitting up in bed with an ice lolly to soothe my throat. He grabbed it from me, squished it in his hand and threw it in my face. Then a little later, pulled me out of the bed and onto the floor because 'I wasn't listening to him'. I was just trying to go to sleep as I felt sick, and didn't want to continue the argument.
He always says that his reasoning for grabbing me, grabbing my phone, pulling me out of bed etc. is because I start arguments and never want to continue them. I do see what he means, I bring up something that bothers me and then I get scared when it gets heated, and so I back down, or try to stop talking about it. I realise the 'reassurance' I will get at the end of it isn't worth feeling afraid to get hurt, or pouring my heart out to someone who later will make fun of me with his friends. (I've seen messages of this happening, and now whenever I open up to him I feel so stupid. I struggle through it to communicate for the sake of saving the relationship. I love him, I don't want to start fresh. He is the only thing that makes this town feel like home, can you blame me?)
The main incidents I bring up are: him downloading Tinder and arranging to sleep with someone else after an argument (he responds with, I never went through with it, I thought it was over, even though we were still texting at the time, joking with eachother on good terms in my opinion). I also want to mention that this argument wasn't even an argument. He called me his ex's name and I got hurt, said I needed space and time to heal. My mindset the whole time was 'it will get better, we can get through this' and his seemed to be 'I'm going to sleep with someone else to hurt her'. And it worked. I'm so hurt. Whenever we have sex now I can't concentrate because I worry I'm not enough. I still do have sex with him, but I go to the bathroom or hide in bed and I cry afterwards. I can't get turned on, or wet, sex always hurts me because I just think about how he would throw me away in a heartbeat for a Tinder hookup. I cry when I see myself in the mirror, I used to love how I looked. I was popular in secondary school, sixth form and people tell me I am typically attractive, but nothing can explain the disgust I feel when I see myself now. I hate my hair, my face, my body. It wasn't enough to keep him loyal, to keep him from telling his girl bestfriend all of my family issues, to keep him from mocking me saying 'Did you get hit recently' referring to my bad relationship with my dad. It hurts me so badly, I'm sitting near him now, my eyes are watering and my heart is aching. I hate feeling this way.
But I don't want to leave him. I'm newly estranged, I have almost no friends left because I spend all of my time with him, and I'm just overall really down mentally. I also fear that, because of the Tinder situation, he will move on really quickly and forget all about me. I know he will talk about me in a horrible way with his girl best friend as I've seen these things happen before. I'm terrified, because I do love him a lot, I'm quite attached by this point. I don't want to break up because I'm scared of all of the horrible things he will say to people. People I will never be able to explain my side of the story to, people that see pictures of me and think, 'what a bitch, what an overbearing, exhausting bitch'. He knows so much about me, he knows about my childhood, my entire estrangement process, my family problems, my medical issues, I trusted him. I still trust him. But part of me knows this can't be good. The thought of him with someone else kills me. But I know straight after we break up he will be sleeping around, probably comparing me to these girls he meets. I know I never was his type, he constantly insulted me and my appearance. He told me I have weak hair, he uses 'white girl' as an insult when we argue, and he's said to his friends how he 'wants a Latina'. I know I'm not enough for him, but I know the pain of breaking up will crush me. I'm scared I won't come back from it. I know I won't move on fast, I won't even be able to love anyone for a long time. This is what scares me, if we break up, I feel like I'm losing someone I love, and I'll have to think of him sleeping with other people whilst I sit in my room, crying and listening to our playlist.

Hello everyone! I wanted to write and share something constructive for this space, that hopefully goes beyond snarking specific names and personalities and helps those who have been harmed in one way or another find a bit of understanding around what happened to them and why.
I've shared pieces of my story here before but the gist is: I am not from the coaching world. I'm from the general spirituality world - from a spiritual modality that has an aspect of divine feminine and divine masculine that has always interested me, but few others in the community. I learned about this whole specific mess listening to love & light confessionals, and went deep into the rabbit hole. The perversion of understanding of masculine/feminine energy dynamics was horrifying but also enlightening. I'm big on learning how NOT to be from people who give me the major ick. This is why I've done a lot of deep diving in general on cults, gurus, and manipulative spirituality in general - and there's a lot to take away if you can go in with this mindset. I'm also hella autistic and love infiltrating niche internet subgroups whose experiences are much different than mine so I can - again - learn from the experieneces of others, and gain more empathy and understanding of the vast human experience.
I was a very forward facing person for the nonprofit I volunteered for for over 4 years. There was no "guru" that I supplicated, however there was a person formally in charge who abused their power and the willingness of others to help the organization, and was known to be cruel in private, when it suited them. I didn't see this person as above me - in fact in a lot of ways they were quite pitiful and needed a lot of help/support in their role - which is what I did, willingly and for practically free. At one point, the entire org sat down and did a call in of this person, however, they were able to push everyone that they couldn't control out of the way and rewrote the story with themselves as the victim (we all know this one). The final falling out happened at the end of 2019, so luckily for them Covid gave them some time to figure out how to run their events without me (they hired a paid staff).
Anyway, I gave many many hundreds of hours to this cause, and then the person in charge was able to take advantage of me and then push me out of the community I had served very seriously for 6 years with rumors that I had been trying to steal money. This is so far beyond the truth, and everyone involved directly knows this, but no one came to dispell the rumor. So, I've been heartbroken by supposedly "spiritual" leaders of a community, that's for sure. In fact listening to Katya was part of the cult deprogramming that me and a group who had left together went through (this group also used, abused, and betrayed me but that's another story!)
So, this isn't going to be about me, I just wanted to share my background. This is about what the divine feminine and the divine masculine "REALLY" are. This may get a bit woo in here but I can't imagine anyone here is afraid of woo. In fact it's the mystery of the spiritual experience that allows these people to cause so much harm. So let me try to remove some of that mystery.
The creation is polarized, in many ways. One of those ways is masculine/feminine. The masculine force is the will, the conscious mind, and that which puts the infinity of possible experience into order. It in and of itself is quite fallible. The feminine force is the subconscious mind - all that is - and the untapped potential of this reservoir. The masculine reaches for the feminine, and if the will (masculine) is properly configured, the unmanifest creation (feminine) will give him something in return. The masculine NEEDS the feminine but the feminine doesn't really NEED the masculine, however it does desire the masculine's attention being focused it its direction (instead of random mundane wordly experiences). And the feminine wants the masculine's attention consistently, lest the feminine will not be consistent at all in its response. This attention can be forceful or gentle, but it must be consistent.
Every human has a balance of masculine/feminine energy in them, and while women are socially conditioned to tend towards feminine expression and men towards masculine, biological sex really has very very little to do with it. There are of course, positive feminine expressions and negative, and positive male expressions and negative. What these polarity goons do is mostly focus on a mix of positive/negative masculine expression for the man, 0 female expression, and then only positive feminine expression for the woman with maybe, possibly, a bit of positive masculine expression (only during working hours when you're in seperate offices, and only if you're paying the bills, ofc)
Typically, we are attracted to partners who "balance" out our spiritual energy - so the "polarization" in a relationship can be anywhere from hyper masc/hyper femme to barely masc/barely femme - and again, this is NOT a hard and fast rule and has almost NOTHING to do with sex other than a general (mostly cultural) bias. The hyper femme/hyper masc scenario can definitely be more, well, exciting and dramatic than a relationship between two people who have very little polarized charge in that way between them. But that's likely why few of these polarity gurus have any experience in longevity of relationships - they are fueling their "twin flame" relationship with manufactured drama and trauma bonding. In reality, in a relationship, you are supposed to grow together and be more willing to meet each other where you are at in the moment, instead of demanding they be a near perfect idealized form before you offer them any attention/respect.
The reason these male teachers push polarity doctrine is literally because of their own wounding of the expression of the masculine/feminine. Men (especially USian men) have been taught that expressing any aspect of their feminine selves is repulsive and weak and probably gay. So, their solution to their own inability to be vulnerable is to attack women - for being "too masculine" - aka some balanced expression of both, normal! They want their women to be 100% pure unformed childlike energy with no will of their own, just a will that can be given to the man. They want them to embody this feminine space as close to 100% of the time so that they are forced into their masculine 100% of the time. Girlies, if you are in your masculine, this makes them feel more in their feminine and - gosh that's just icky and disgusting. You don't want your man to get a boner for you when you're in the masculine - that might make him GAY! In the very least it's totally beta to be attracted to a masculine woman and basically gay anyway. No thanks!
I'm sorry to be facetious, but this is in general a lot of the subconscious and even sometimes conscious thought processes behind these hyper polarity relationships. These are not evolved, embodied people. These are people who are still very invested in the old fashioned human status quo that has served them for a long time. We had the thread a few weeks back with the Desire on Fire lady (ugh her name escapes me) talking about how her husband had to "put her in her place" for being "too masculine" and how he really just "didnt want her" when she was in her masculine, when she was literally just running her business. Masculine wounding almost ALWAYS shows up as men being jealous of women being better at them in their own field - or really successful publicly at all - and this is why women STILL have a hard time breaking into male dominated spaces. We are systemically kept out because men die inside when they feel inferior to women. They were told this wasn't supposed to happen!!!! In fact, the person who spiritually abused me was a man - I see now how he "kept" me as a pet because of my high standing in the community. But this meant I was still firmly below him in certain ways - a much more comfortable place for me to be, someone who challenged him on his "expertise".
This polarity movement is taking a true spiritual concept and distorting it just to set women back. They don't want you to have an opinion or agency - other than "me want money" and "me want sex". They want you to play on Instagram all day and recruit ladies for them to sexually assault at your joint "retreats". They want you to only feel valued if you're made up and dressed up and "desired" by men. None of this internalized self worth stuff, only external male validation is allowed. Ladies, if any of you reading this are with some sort of this type of man, please, I beg you, choose the bear. This is the type of man who leaves you as soon as your body culminates too many signs of being aged. They are entitlted to a specific cartoon image of what they think a "woman" is, and sadly this culture has made young women INCREDIBLY easy to manipulate, so finding another partner is often quite easy for older men. It's all by design.
Here's another spiritual truth that is often obscured: One of the polarities of divinity is the left hand path and the right hand path. The left hand path is the path of control, wealth, using others, egocentrism, etc. The right hand path is about acceptance, generosity, helping others, and sacrifice. The middle path is a path with little to no power - it's the path of comfort, the path most people are on.
When one walks the middle path - i.e. has not really begun to truly develop their spiritual side - they do not yet have spiritual discernment. What happens when they come across someone who has been using spiritual principles to "build their wealth/power" is that they see someone with a spiritual light - and this isn't super common on social media. When we're hungry for it, we're like a moth to the flame. That's why they always know they'll be another mark. The problem then is when we don't have discernment, we cannot tell which "hand" the light is coming from, and often it's very easy to confuse the left hand for the right and vice versa. For instance, I am giving up a large part of my day to write this purely to help others in this community - Carly or MAL or someone might stumble upon this and see it as "evil". But that's because they see the light, but to them it's against their light, so I'm the evil one. But all I'm trying to offer is freedom of mind, and they're mad because they want your bag, and this is dependent on you being confused and them keeping a crumb of clarity behind a paywall. 💰
Now, some of these girlies are walking the "left hand path" a lot better than the others. I dont know many coaches beyond those talked about here, but I would say someone like MAL has a pretty firm grasp on who she is - a scam artist, a liar, and a user. She's always making up stories and whatnot - she's a pathological liar. She will do anything to get her way. This is pretty serious when you've been behaving this way for years and years. Her image is very rigid and polished, and despite showing up unprepared and offering word salad to her paying persons, her "outer circle" (social media feed etc) is much more curated than most of the other coaches I've seen. She's at the top of the pyramid so she has a huge amount of control and influence. If she cracks someday, we'll see it, and usually people struggle to return to the top once they falter. I'm sure she's already showing some signs of paranoia, which is the first sign a high control person is starting to become unhinged.
Then there are the messier girlies, like Carly, and Karen who has recently been more thoroughly exposed here. These ladies show up very vulnerable to social media, and often are struggling with illness - as someone has said here before, Carly's early coaching gigs were about health and dealing with chronic illness, until she realized that space wasn't sexy or profitable. I'm not saying this is the root of all illness, but transient illness can be a sign of a spiritual mismatch in intentions/action - especially with these people who claim to be "healers" or adjacent to that space. You have to walk your talk, or your body begins to show your hypocrisy. There is a part of these ladies who feel they are truly "helping the planet" and get confused internally when the reaction of their "offers" isn't for people to fall down at their feet worshipping them. This is why they say stuff like "wealth is a mindset!" and other magical thinking - most of them have lived privileged lives and have never been "out" of abundance. They think their "luck" is a carefully curated vibration that they can rub off on others. And like, while I believe that being in the vibrations of someone who is more spiritually mature can help "elevate" someone - these people are playing with spiritual practices and, while seeing some results, truly have no clue what they are talking about and dealing with. People who truly understand manifestation, whether left or right hand, are not busting their ass all day on Instagram trying to recruit lukewarm clients for peanuts. Carly tries SO HARD to sell that all of her work is "easy" and she can "take a walk in the middle of the day!" and not work while she's bleeding and whatnot. But girl, you're hustling and thirsty all over Insta all day every day - this is not abundance, this is not wealth and gratitude, it's giving "big empty black hole in my soul that will never be filled except with more money" energy, babe.
Then there are the girlies like xogingy and The Content Queen whose whole brand seems to be just being a mess all over the place. This sells because it makes people think "well I'm messy maybe I can be messy and rich/successful" but the mess for these girls is much more embraced and embodied than with the prim types like Carly and Karen, who want to be pure luxe and sexy and divine feminine perfection. But the luxe and sexy types are really doing the recruiting for their sexual in-person retreats (or clothing optional zooms) because they're just mega horny all the time (which - btw - is another sign of spiritual imbalance)
And that's the thing - being horny all of the time means your energy body is JACKED. It's not a sign of a free flow of creative energy to crave sex all of the time. Of course a major aspect of this is the sexual magic - yes, there is magic in sex, and I think it's where these folks get most of their magic, because they follow left hand sexual magic practice exclusively (control BDSM). They do play rapes (and borderline real rapes and, in some cases, actual real rapes on their clients/partners), orgasm denial, humiliation, pain rituals - all stuff that truly, objectively, isn't good for the soul. And notice how it's almost always one sided - the male being in total control of the female - though, Carly's substack did have a story about how they did a "role reversal" where she raped/humiliated him and that was um, something I read. 😳 But generally it's the women's job to always be turned on and "dripping wet" and whatnot, so that when her masculine partner gets a boner she's ready for him to slide it in. And then that's always the best sex, the sex that you "surrender" to.... On the contrary, sex between "right hand" practitioners tends to leave both partners feeling quite satisfied and sated - heck, even if only one happens to orgasm! Whereas control oriented sex often has orgasm denial which intentionally leaves the person craving more.
All this is to say, no one should feel guilty for being duped, or conned, or confused, even still. Almost all of these people have weaponized spiritual concepts in some ways and are wielding them with the intention to separate you from your money. They actually do have something that works. But they will NEVER sell you the whole story. And the fact is, this experience likely did happen to you because your soul was aching for some sort of uplevel - or initiation. It's just that initiation rarely looks like getting what we want. MAL et al makes it look like initiation is giving a rich lady 5 figures, popping a bottle of champagne, and roleplaying as that rich lady to which you just gave all that money (or at least, roleplaying as her social media feed). But if you're truly in it for the soul, your experience is going to help you uncover your soul. And part of uncovering our souls at this point in time seems to be having some serious spiritual trauma. And I know some people here probably only did this as "playing around" and not serious and unfortunately, playing with spirituality can be can be dangerous in and of itself. These is not to victim blame at all. It just is the nature of the spiritual path that it may growl and bite at you to test your growth. It's not just a sexy pleasure party 24/7, unless you want to step on a LOT of people to get there.
Anyway, this is very long and I'm not sure it's going to even fit into a reddit post at this point. But I just wanted to share some of the spiritual insights I've had over the years (been on my spiritual journey for over a decade at this point). I don't know it all, but I do know that I live with a general peace of mind that I wish I could sell in a coaching package or voxer group. But I can't/won't do that. So I'll keep to my lifelong duty of making longwinded, mega autistic posts on internet forums that might help a few people orient to a less painful or confused frame of mind, free of charge.
But on that note, before I finish, I'll offer my general spiritual advice: Firstly, take a short time every day to do some sort of sitting/meditation. Learning how to quiet the mind is a skill, and it's the first skill required to learn discernment. Once we can quiet the mind, we can start to learn which thoughts are our own and which thoughts we have absorbed from others - and if you haven't begun this process yet, you may be surprised to find out that the vast majority of your thoughts are actually just society, family, teachers, social media, advertising, etc etc, repeating in your mind and taking up valuable real estate. This is the real hurdle to "manifestation" - clearing away all the false desires that get in the way of our true desires. Subsequently, learning about chakras and tuning into my energy body has also given me a good base for insight and clarity that comes from within my own body.
Secondly, just try to think of others before yourself more often than not. Don't justify manipulating people for your own benefit. Oneness means you treat others how you want to be treated - in a gentle, and nurturing way. When we harm others, especially from a spiritual place, we perpetuate harm, and therefore accept that potential harmful treatment of ourselves. Treating others sincerely with reverence and respect, and setting boundaries so that we don't allow people to treat us with disrespect, is how we generate a reality that treats us with reverence and respect by default. A lot easier said than done, but it is possible.
Love and light to you all.

https://ibb.co/mXc6Pyw
My daughter, 15F, started feeling ill Apr 28. It started with fever, body ache, and congestion/sinus pain and cough and ear ache, and deep fatigue. We treated with advil/tylenol, figuring it was just a normal cold. It was getting worse and throat was very inflamed (though not sore, apparently) with those white spots so started clarithromycin May 5 (allergic to amoxicillin). Did a course of 7 days, twice daily. May 6 we started doing peridex rinse 2x day, and saltwater baking soda rinse every 2 hours. A couple days into this routine, her throat started hurting badly but the fever and other symptoms started getting better. But throat has been steadily getting worse, along with pain in the back of the head and neck, and still a bit of a cough. The doctor prescribed another course of clarithromycin since the throat is still inflamed with white spots (picture in link is current). We are on day 3 of the second course of clarithromycin. We have had a swab come back negative for strep and a mono blood test also come back negative. The pain in throat, back of the head and neck seems to be getting worse, worst in the mornings upon waking. The tylenol and advil do help the pain.
If it's not strep or mono, what else could this be?
(Taking vit D 5000iu/day due to deficiency, and iron supplement as well, normal dose)

Context:The Ushmengar are a Chaos warband dedicated to Vashtorr. They were initially part of the Astral Claws, but when Huron was defeated during the Badab War, they decided to forge their own path instead of following him to the Maelstrom. These Space Marines in particular were some of the first Astral Claws that the Executioners slaughtered during the Badab War, and the Warband was formed by the survivors of their rampage.
In this short story, the Executioners, having just finished a Penitent Crusade, were hunting for the Ushmengar. They had managed to pinpoint them to a Mechanicum forgeworld, and the Death Speaker of the chapter, an Astartes named Razel, a Librarian named Igikura, and a group of Bladeguard descended onto the planet. When they found the Chaos lord of the Ushmengar, named Kagal, this is what happened

The Chaos Space Marine cocked its head to one side, eyes boring into Razel’s. When the Death Speaker was within reach, it nodded and spread its arms wide. The Executioner swung his crozius. The fractal form of the Heretic Astartes shivered as Sharur connected with it. There was the roar of a vast furnace underscored by the shriek of overtaxed bellows, the clanking of gears and the hammering of pistons, and the Ushmengar vanished like smoke blown in the wind, leaving only a chorus of trailing screams.

After this, Razel and his men continued to go deeper into the Manufactorium and ended up fighting a bunch of other Ushmengar

The Death Speaker swung his crozius, but the Chaos Space Marine dodged the attack. The strike went wide, cracking the side of the furnace. Razel punched out with his pistol and sent his opponent’s bolter flying off. Undeterred, the Ushmengar ripped off a piston hammer from a slain ogryn and arrested Razel’s downward swing. Muscles strained, his sinew coils contracted and he drove the Heretic Astartes onto one knee. The Ushmengar’s composure broke and he roared at the Death Speaker. With a burst of vigour he regained his footing and shook Razel off. Burst fire from the Executioner’s pistol stitched an arc across his helmet, which cracked, exposing his metallic face beneath. The delineation between the organic and inorganic had become blurred to the extent that they had become one and the same. Oil bled from ruined armour and unclean flesh-metal.
A storm had broken out at the end of the hall. Lightning flashed, lancing out from furnace to furnace as a rain of brimstone fell. An unholy radiance pulsed in the penumbral gloom, accompanied by the skirling of bronze horns lining the altar. The light rose out of the chancel of the command fane and drifted towards the Death Speaker and the Epistolary, who had advanced ahead to the binary-etched plaza. Within the pulsing storm was Kalag.
Molten metal was siphoned off the blast furnaces, forming fiery wheels into an armillary sphere spinning around the floating Ushmengar. The skitarii shrieked in binharic as they were lifted from the raised walkways, torn towards the eye of the churning storm. They were disassembled, their flesh withering into ash whilst their bionics melded into the spinning rings upon which bleeding eyes had formed. As Kalag moved towards Razel and Igikura, a forge-vault vast beyond imagining spread out behind him, the hellish vision overlapping the reality of the manufactorum. There was the roar of colossal furnaces, the heave and gasp of monumental bellows, and the clang of countless hammers, thudding pistons and clanking gears, underpinned by the screaming of tortured souls fuelling the forges.
Whereas Kalag’s form had been ephemeral before, a charcoal sketch jumping in and out of focus, now it was wholly corporeal. His armour was burned black, running with unclean oils and unguents. Mechadendrites writhed from between the plates like fungal growths, straining for some dire unity with the emergent daemonic mechanism. Around him were the rings of the armillary sphere, which were both armour and a mechanism to unravel reality, spinning faster until they were a blur as the warpsmith approached them
Up ahead, Igikura stood alone, defiant. The crystalline matrix of his axe blazed, focusing his power before it lanced upwards into Kalag. For a moment, the spinning rings slowed and fire raged down upon the Epistolary, enveloping the Executioner. The apotropaic sigils upon his armour shone migraine-bright as they earthed the worst effects of the warpsmith’s attack. The Librarian’s mind was in the throes of a fever dream, the backwash of the Ushmengar’s barrage bruising his soul.
Sensing his brother’s agony, Razel rose and swung, striking again. A resonant peal shivered through the armillary sphere to no discernible effect.
Kalag, whose attention had been thoroughly upon Igikura, glanced at him, his quasar-like gaze boring into Razel’s own. A high-pitched screech preceded the obliteration of Razel’s helm display. His armour felt heavier. The fibre-bundle muscles tensed and servos halted, keeping him upright. Straining, he raised his hands and took off his helmet. When he beheld the ashes of penitence streaking down Razel’s defiant face, the warpsmith sneered. ‘Lapdog of the False Emperor.’ His voice thundered like the hammer of a god striking an anvil
Razel bared his teeth in response, glistening with blood. ‘You were supposed to die at Badab.’ ‘Oh but you see, I did die. We were marooned in the immaterium after our warp drives failed. Bereft, betrayed by a rotting Imperium and an unkind god bedecked in fool’s gold. Where was Lufgt Huron then? His promises and his lies? We no longer need him, nor your carrion god. We have a new divinity to serve!’ Kalag turned towards the growing portal behind him, his arms encompassing the hellish scene and the towering daemonic figure with scythe-like wings who was looking down at the Executioners with an amused interest. ‘Behold the Arkifane! Our salvation! We will deliver this forge-temple of Mars to him!’
"Brother…" Igikura’s voice was straining with titanic effort. "I will not make it to the end." The Death Speaker growled. The Librarian forestalled him. "Spare me your protestations. I will distract him and hold the rings, but I am not strong enough to make the final blow. That falls to you. May your own Penitent Crusade be over after this."
Igikura’s mind soared in the warp like the rising sun. He burned with immaterial energies. Coruscating lightning cascaded down his limbs and flared off him in streamer arcs, with a branching spark earthing itself in the Death Speaker’s crozius. One last parting gift from brother to brother.
Razel wasted no time. With the warpsmith’s attention upon the Epistolary, his armour was free. He trudged forward, pausing only to pick up Igikura’s axe whilst hefting his crozius. Breaking into a run, he leapt upon one of the stilled rings. Razel hurled the force axe. It spun, blazing, still saturated with Igikura’s psychic might and sacrifice. The blade wedged fast into Kalag’s breastplate, tendrils of darkness slithering out of the wound. A few moments later, Razel was upon him with Sharur, imbued with a shred of the Epistolary’s empyric strength. The warpsmith raged, blocking the Death Speaker’s strike with a cog-toothed, daemonic axe. Mechadendrites speared through Razel’s armour, biting deep into his flesh. Gurgling blood, the Executioner drew the mace back and slammed it forwards, again and again, shattering his foe’s armour in a frenzy until his corrupt essence could no longer be contained. The unravelling of Kalag was like that of a collapsing star. The death throes screamed out from his unwinding body, black flame rising between the plates, his flesh unmade into ash.

I'm embarrassed to post this, sorry forbthe picture, I wanted to see if there's anyone who can relate to what I'm going through.
Symptoms one month ago • full after eating 3 bites • very nauseous before and after eating • no appetite • dizzy and off balance • legs swelling • mid back pain • diarrhea/light color stool/yellow-Red mucus/floating stool
Symptoms previously • legs swelling • shortness of breath-while holding 5 or more pounds • fast heartbeat when moving • bowel movement 2 to 3 days • dizzy off balance • stool yellow on paper
Background, my TSH was at a 2.6 in January, go my levels checked this week TSH is at a 4.5, it never goes up that much in a short period of time, I was feeling fine intel I took 50,000 vitamin D for 8 weeks(1 pill a week) on the 3rd week I was • had more energy • loss 5 pounds • nothing pointed to my thyroid
Than 2 more weeks into taking vitamin D • bones are aching/body pains • limping/numbness in both legs+swelling • stool this yellow on paper • constipation ect • lots of belching=tasting food from the night before/lot of foul smelling gas This has been going on for 3 months now
I have a doctor appointment with my endocrinologist on Monday and a G.I appointment on July 31st, I really hope the G.I doc doesn't dismiss my symptoms Because of my thyroid, I've had this same symptoms come and go for 4 years. Thank you for reading my long post

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