Should i take seroquel to goto sleep

Long story short, I just got in a heated argument with my father over how he treats my 13 year old brother (more on that later). I am 21 years old and they still control a lot of my life. I am financially independent (technically, more on that later as well).
For some background. I was raised VERY religious. Those Christian moms you see on social media that was my father. I never went to prom (because godforbid I got out in the world). I went to a public high school but was still super sheltered. My life outside of school consisted of coming home and working on homework, the extra homework he assigned me, yelling because I never did "good enough," and church youth group (which I hated because I am not a Christian). I made good grades, mostly As, the occasional B, and one C (in chemistry, but I mean come on that shits hard). That was never good enough. Every single assignment I did he had to look at. Study guide for an exam. He had to look at it. Discussion board reply. You guessed it he looked at that too. I didn't get a phone until sophomore year of high school and when I did I got one of those shitty 80 dollar Samsung phones that you couldn't do shit on (and where he checked all my texts, notes, and emails). I was very sheltered. The extent of my fun was shooting the shit with my friends in the cafeteria at lunch and on the bus. I wasn't allowed to go to birthday parties or sleepovers or even go over to a friends house. He is raising my brother the same way, but way worse. If I am ever blessed with kids one day he has taught me what not to do.
Thankfully I am now in my third year of college. I picked a school he didn't want me to go to. Not because of money or anything he just said "you aren't going to a party school. There are too many idiots there you don't need to be around." I rebelled and committed to that school. Hands down the best decision I have ever made. I have a full ride scholarship that pays for my tuition (although it is dirt cheap for in-state already). I also have a scholarship that pays for rent for my 1100 dollar a month apartment and gives me about 500 spending money every month. I consider this my second best accomplisment as screwed up as that may sound. My father controls my money. All of it. I have a credit card that I use and then he pulls that money out of my account. I have no idea how much money I have and what he is doing with said money. He also has access to my Schwab and Vanguard accounts. He says he does this to help me with investing but I know there is more to it. He still wants to control me. I don't even know my damn login to the banking app for Christ sake (sorry not sorry dad for using the Lords name in vane). I know I should have fixed this issue sooner but I didn't want to fuck up our relationship. I am not sure what to do about this.
Another major problem came from this sheltered/overbearing environment I grew up in is my inability to say no to things I have never done before. Throughout my time in college I have experimented with drugs and alcohol (cocaine, weed, molly, lsd, shrooms, xans, oxy, you name it, pretty much with the exception of meth and heroin, I've done it and not just once). I am not proud of this (minus the fun I've had on psychs and even then not one of my better attributes). As a result of his abusive parenting style I have a hard time saying no and give in super easily to peer pressure. So much so that the first friends i met at college I still hang around with. These guys I probably shouldn't be around (the type where daddy pays for everything so they get a four-year drug fueled adventure in college). Don't get me wrong they aren't all that bad but just not the type of people I though I would be hanging around. I never thought I would be sleeping around, going to clubs on a Tuesday, and doing lines of coke off my island at 4pm but here we are. I am not proud of this but feel like I started doing these things because I was finally free. It is so hard to stop now. I think that I hang around them as a sense of rebellion to my parents and a sort of "f u" if you will. I know it is wrong but it feels good to finally be free. I have developed a raging nicotine addiction as well (something I am definitely not proud of). My parents have no idea. I have had to lie to them about things for the past three years.
I don't know if that is a result of my own actions or the years upon years upon years of constant yelling by my father. I mean for fucks sake the man never told me good job on anything. I got an A on a test it wasn't good job. It was "show me the test and what you got wrong," followed by a thirty minute yelling match about how I fucked up on the test. When I got into college on a full ride it wasn't good job it was "that is all because of me and the things I gave you." When I graduated high school it wasn't good job. It was my mom, god bless her she is great but tied down by my father, putting on a dinner party for me with all the neighbors and my parents friends. My dad was there but never even spoke to me (he just bullshitted to his friends about how I was such a hard worker (mind you he never told me this) and other things that narcissists do). I never was told good job when I got Eagle scout. That fucked me up, all of it. I am not one to want praise or one of those participation trophy people but come on that's fucked up at least in my mind. I never heard good job once.
He does the same shit to my brother but worse. My brother is 13 and in seventh grade at a private Christian K-12 school (one of those rich schools where the parents drive benzs and the kids have gucci shoes and shit). My father doesn't send my brother there because it is a better school, trust me, it is not by any stretch of the word. He sends him there to look better (aka "my kid goes to a private school you peasants" type of behavior). Recently, my brother was caught playing a computer game (papa's pizazaria on coolmathgames). Off topic but that is still the best one and you cannot change my mind. When he caught my brother they went at it for four hours. Now my dad checks my brothers search history, backpack and every single piece of paper in every binder every single day. He has moved my brothers desk into the living room and made my brother buy, with his own money, 300 dollar noise cancelling headphones to somehow be able to focus down there. My brother now has developed a twitch and the habit of twirling his hair. It was gotten so bad that some of his hair is falling out because of it and my dad refuses to take responsibility for it. The kid is so stressed that you would think he is on coke or meth the way he acts. He told me that he is scared when my dad comes home from work. I brought this up with my dad and asked him how he feels about his child being scared of him. My dad said nothing. Not one word. I am asking advice/thoughts on this situation.
To end things off I want advice on what I should do moving forward. I am home for the summer and working a job up here but am really considering not working and going back down to my school. I never had a normal childhood and can't stand my brother being treated this way. He is not allowed to go outside and play with the neighbor kids, watch TV, search ANYTHING on his computer, and take breaks longer than dinner away from his "schoolwork." I can't handle this shit anymore. I understand that part of my situation is my doing but I think it partly stems from the years of manipulation and control on behalf of my father. Am I overreacting? What would you do?
P.S. One final thing I wanted to say to get off my chest is that I do not respect this man. He yells at my mother constantly about how when she lets him be a kid and do kid things she is "setting him up for failure." I don't mean yelling I mean cussing and screaming to the point when I go to bed I can hear my mother crying. It hurts me to hear her cry it really does. I'm a bigger dude, 6 foot, 210, built. But that shit hurts. A fucking lot. I'm at the point where he needs to be confronted about it. I have lost every ounce of respect I have ever had for him. This may be an overreaction but I don't think so. He still controls my life. He tracks where I go in school, what I buy, etc. I have to lie to him sometimes but I am okay with that. This is the first real fun I have had in my life. I am doing pretty good in school, 3.1 gpa in a major I (not him) am happy in. I already have a job lined up outside of school making 58k straight out the gate. He has no idea because I don't tell him shit, he doesn't deserve to know in my mind. This is a man who will act super nice around everyone but our family. He is super active in the church and scouting, although he doesn't let my brother go anymore. He constantly gives to charity and volunteers around the community. You would never know this if you watched how our family operates on any given day behind closed doors. The only conversations I have with him now are about "why is there a charge for mexican food on the credit card. you should be studying," or my personal favorite "why is there a charge for x amount of dollars at a convenience store at 9:00 at night. Only bad people hang outside after dark (by bad people he is referring to everyone who is non-Christian by the way)."
This man has held me back so much even in college. I understand that this is partly my fault because as a legal adult I could have stopped this but I did not want to ruin our relationship. He stopped me from going on trips because "people could be drinkng" and has told me that on my 21st birthday (last week) that if he ever catches me drinking or vaping or anything I will not be allowed back into the house. I want to get clean but I do that shit as a fuck you to him. I apologize about cussing so much in here I'm just frustrated and need to get some stuff of my chest. I can't be the only one with parents like this. Right? I refuse to let this situation continue on. Should I do something about the way he treats me and my brother and mom? What do I do? What would you do? FYI cutting him out of my life entirely is not ideal because my mom and I still get along great. I would do it if there was a way to still be able to see my mom as they live in the same house. Minus certain political issues (mostly economic stuff) my dad and I don't agree on anything. He is the most judgemental person I have ever met in my life. I have met upwards of 1000 people in the past couple of years and he is by far the most judgemental person I have ever met. There is not even a close second.
Am I overreacting? What would you do in this situation? God bless and thanks for any and all responses/similar stories you all are willing to share. This seems like a great group of people. Stay blessed and if you need someone to talk to I am here for anything.

Hi I need advise my grandpas sister aunt Tina (not her actual name no offense to any Tina's) has pissed me off greatly you see her and her first daughter her son in law along with her grand kids and my great grand mother came to our town I'm not terribly close to her but we used to be Im closer to her two daughters but she came down to help my great grand mother go through her stuff and some back story her and my grandpa's step mother my granny died when I was 7 but before I was born my mom was promised the kiln and bisque ware for pottery and stuff well I would ask my granny if I could paint the ceramics but she didn't have paint for them so there is sentimental value. We where supposed to get them, but after my granny and great grandpa died my aunt Tina wouldn't let my mom take the kiln saying it was ruined cause one of my great grandparents dogs would pee on it well this was blatant lie my mom caught but she didn't want to argue and my grandpa is tired of fighting his sister. But when we went to visit my aunt was talking to my mom while I was out of the room saying she was going to fire up the kiln again and had gone behind my mothers back asking my grandpa for the pottery wheel he had bought for my mom and I quote " we wouldn't need it since we would be moving into a trailer" mind we're gonna buy land at the coast but my aunt had foolishly told my mother this luckily my mother hadn't heard it from grandpa. But the fact she did NOT asked my mother before she asked my grandpa. This stuck my mom in a nerve as she was very close with my granny and so was I she had already been frustrated earlier today and this pushed her over edge she didn't sleep last night which is dangerous since she works a long night shift and has to drive a long way and there's a ton of wildlife at night but what's worse is this caused her to snap at me excessively yelling a little and she called me a few hours ago telling me she was sorry for snapping she was hurt and frustrated. My mother doesn't cry very often unless she's hurt or extremely frustrated and she was both so after explaining she began to cry in her work parking lot and I'm very protective of my mother and grandmother, so this ticked me off cause this isn't the first thing my aunt's done she's caused damage to sentimental items before. For example my granny had a beautiful sunset moth in a terrarium she had my aunt took off the protective glass dome and filled it with news paper leaving the Sunset moth uncovered which caused it to get damaged and disintegrate into dust. My granny also had these collectible crystal and gemstone eggs and I was the only great grand child that met granny but also no one else wanted them but she still tried to divide them among the family when that was the only thing I asked for, but not only did her and my biological great grandmother say she wasn't apart of the family when she tried to give her opinion in a FAMILY matter and I'm tired of her toxic and passive aggressive behavior towards my side of the family and I'm very tempted to confront her over the phone tomorrow and give her an ultimatum of either respecting my family and giving back what is rightfully theirs or not talk to me every and not knowing any future children I have in the far future. Should I do it what are your suggestions please in need help.
Age wise im 15 and my aunt is in her fifties my mom is in her late thirties and my grandma is in her mid fifties and my grandpa is in his late fifties he's older than my aunt and im just trying to do the right thing please any advise?

I was a SAHM until recently and loved the low stress levels (compared to my line of work) and being constantly moving. Now I work a job that has me tied to a desk (which is thankfully at home), and I feel like it's not good for my health.
My job starts at 6am, and I usually just roll out of bed and start working. The cadence of my job was kinda chill at first, so i had alarms on my fitness watch to get up and exercise every hour or two, get 250 steps an hour, all that, and I'd also take a lunch break, eat and take a stroll. I like this job because I'd usually get off at 2, be able to get an hour to myself before I could go outside with my kid.
But what's happening now is my job has gotten crazy busy and there's something that's keeping me engaged every minute. Planned meetings, adhoc meetings to fix broken servers, tasks that need to get done stat so I can take feedback from others before moving to the next step, manager calling me for updates that I respond with with "per my last email"... it's a lot. I don't even notice the alarms to do 250 steps in an hour. I end up eating lunch at the tail end of my work day. And I don't get off of work at 2, it stretches to 3-4, so I end up sitting basically the whole day. Also now when I get to play with my kid, it's late for her and she wants to sit down and play and doesn't want to go out and do anything athletic (because she's spent all day running and jumping and sliding and dancing already) and she asks for screen time and snacks. sometimes I do an app-based workout for 20 minutes, but sometimes she just wants to sit on my lap and watch TV and eat crackers or paint with her or play legos... which is more sitting. I end up pretty tired by the time my kid's in bed, and I fall asleep right after. My husband does a lot of childcare, and I really miss spending time with my kid as much as I used to, so I don't want to cut into my time with my toddler to go running or something.
I think this constant sitting and constant doses of work stress from meetings and alarms and pings are really bad for me. I'm noticing my weight creeping up and I just look worse. I have worse energy, and it feels like sleep problems aren't too far away.
I already eat very healthy, no snacking during the day, no processed food, and I lost all my pregnancy weight previously on this same diet, so it by itself is not fattening. The increased stress levels and lack of activity feel like the culprits.
I feel like what I need is 10-min scheduled breaks throughout the day, and a solid lunch break where I can take a stroll after lunch. I'm not sure how to enforce this on myself. I'm eager to impress my higher-ups as I'm close to a promotion, and on a day-to-day basis I think that ends up manifesting as me just responding to everything that comes my way right away.
How should I think about this stuff so I get back to feeling healthy?

My mum has been sick for few days, got surgery and except for hospital days, all my father care about is his comfort. We are not letting mum do anything just focus on her health but him Where is my tea, not keeping things where it belongs, can't even keep a mug in the sink, will do something in the kitchen and I or gm is left to do all the cleaning after him. Last few days I have done more for him then mom.
He knows he need some things while going out but instead of bringing it with him while coming down. I should leave what I'm doing and run back to go get it.
And constantly fighting about water and cooler. Not getting enough water supply right now and he will fill his cooler for natural air, instead of sleeping in AC room.
He is already a WhatsApp uncle. Will sit next to mom but can't even take his earphone out to just listen to her, listing to some rando YouTube politics. Writing msg about so good of husband/ father he is, Getting praise from random people but can't even show up for us or give support, don't have time to talk to us. If I ask any questions he is so above us to talk so he will just nod and I should guess. Like do he even like us.

So you finally decided to leave your home and migrate to a better place, but let me tell you that it will not be easy, Campasak is a "peculiar" region, this god-forsaken region is full of abominations and errors of nature, but it is the only one. path you can take to get out of that damn mountain, Campasak is a region full of endless natural environments, the region has an area of ​​about 400,000 square km so it is very large and it will take you a long time to get out of here. It is extremely dangerous and I don't want to discourage you but very few people have managed to get out of here and only one person came out sane, we call him "the explorer" he is responsible for this list existing, he spent many years documenting and studying the region, but a few years ago he suffered an ambush by some entities and his body turned into a pulp appeared in a sack at the entrance to Campasak. If you want to continue your journey, follow the rules and value his sacrifice.
South Campasak: when you come down from the mountain you will arrive here, it is a large steppe where you can spend days without even seeing a tree, this is the main reason why most travelers do not even last a week in Campasak, as it is a flat steppe you have nowhere to hide, fortunately we have a list of rules so that you do not get destroyed by some creature in a couple of hours:
Rule 1: This should be obvious but bring plenty of water and food, you will go days without even seeing a stream let alone some berries
Rule 2: this is related to rule one but do not bring anything to eat that contains or is derived from meat or you will attract the kogen, they have an incredibly developed sense of smell, believe me you do not want them to notice you
Rule 3: wear perfume, most creatures in South Campasak are guided by smell, the smell of sweat or blood is very attractive to them, so wear some perfume that camouflages you with the environment so that they do not know your position
Rule 4: bring some jewelry, yes, I am clear that the situation in the mountains is not very good to get jewelry but if you want to have a chance to get out of here you must have some for 2 reasons
4a: the kazai, the kazai are blind moles about 5 meters high, they are the ONLY beings that do not want to eat you alive here, when you look for shelter you have to look for holes in the floor, those are their burrows, to stay and sleep there and be safe from other creatures, give them some jewelry, they love to feel the cold of metal and they will let you sleep in their burrow and offer you food (I don't recommend eating because their food is basically animal guts with clotted blood).
Rule 5: If you see a kind of campfire in the distance, run in the opposite direction, the mogler is hunting and there is no telling what the hell he will do to you if he catches you.
Rule 6: do not eat any berries or fruits that you find on the road, almost all the food here is poisonous and you will possibly die of dysentery
Rule 7: there is a slightly marked path in the steppe, do not follow it, it is a trap of the creatures here, instead follow the line of grass that is longer than the rest, you will know what it is like when you see it, you could complement it with a compass
Rule 8: If you hear a galloping sound mixed with the sound of boiling water, lie on your back on the long grass path and pray that thing doesn't see you.
Rule 9: DO NOT TRAVEL ALONE, this is one of the most important rules, a companion can get you out of many troubles, such as using them as a human shield against entities.
Rule 10: If on your journey you find a very large oak tree with sharp branches, you are in luck. It will protect you from some entities and can give you shelter in its trunk. You will see that even though you walk and walk, the tree seems to follow the same path at distance, he was once a human and therefore has the intelligence of one, he will protect you until you leave the steppe
Rule 11: if at any time you come across a forest and the grass path does not end RUN, run in the opposite direction to it, run until your legs can no longer move from exhaustion, until you faint, only when you wake up will you know if you escape was effective
11a: what is in the center of that forest transformed the tree of rule 10
Rule 12: If you blink and out of nowhere a terrifying amalgamation of what appear to be fused human faces appears, you have about 4 days to leave the steppe (if you are not that far from the next campasak area) or return to the mountain (if You are just beginning your journey), the steppe has marked you and wants you to leave, if after that time you are still in the steppe, what happens to you will not be pretty.
12a: We do not know for sure why the creature from rule 10 appears but there are certain factors such as destroying the nature of the steppe (including the creatures that inhabit it)
13: After about 3 weeks on average, following the long grass path walking towards the north you will find a large river with a forest on the other bank, this is the Qiza River and marks the border between Campasak South and Campasak Central-South, yes You have not deviated much from the grass path, you will see a small village of huts and there you must take a boat and cross the river, although your actions depend on whether it is day or night.
13a: it is daylight, there you should take the canoe quickly cross the river, upon entering the village it is true that it is full of half-eaten human remains, this should not matter to you, so cross the river
13b: it is night, in this scenario YOU ​​SHOULD NOT GO TO THE VILLAGE FOR ANYTHING IN THE WORLD, during the day the things that live there are gathered, you do not want to join the human remains of that village, instead look for a Kazai burrow (there are many of them along the river bank) and spend the night there, it doesn't matter if you don't have jewelry, the Kazai will take pity on you and let you spend the night in their lair
13:c after following the scenario in 13b you should go as soon as the sun rises to the village and leave in the boat, it is almost certain that the inhabitants of the village will notice your presence and that is why they will return earlier than normal
Rule 14: FOR NOTHING IN THE WORLD YOU CROSS SWIMMING THE RIVER, you know, there are also aquatic entities and the only thing that prevents them from attacking you is that they do not detect you on top of the canoe
If you manage to overcome all this you will reach Campasak central-south and for that there are new rules
GOOD LUCK TRAVELER :)
(Central-south campasak rules in construction🏗)
This is my first story I hope you like it
English is not my native language so any spelling mistakes blame the translator XD

Hey
So I (30M) was staying for the weekend with my mom (53F) and the rest of the family, to cwlebrate my youngest brother's (M19) birthday.
Some backstory here - my youngest brother is very good with technology and online marketing, so a few months back I gave him my old computer that had broken down so he could fix it and sell it, in exchange for paying his expenses and giving him 30% of any profits he makes. However, he has been going through a slightly delayed teenage angsty phace and has not got around to doing it yet, so I left it with him with the hope he gets around to doing it. Also, my mom and stepdad (70M) have been wanting a new computer for a while, but were not willing to pay for one (they are very bad at saving and keep running up debts while spending loads on useless things).
Anyway, last night I see him working on the computer, so I go over and see that it has been fixed! I ask him what is up, and my stepdad comes over and says that "I got it fixed so that we can have a computer at home" - just like that, without even asking me! My brother nodded in agreement, which tells me that he knew about all this.
Of course I get annoyed at my stepdad, and I tell him that "This computer is mine, and if you want it you have to pay me for it" - a remark which prompted an angry outburst from my stepdad who immediately started demanding for his $120 back (I converted all costs to USD for the sake of this post), which prompted me to take out my phone and right away I transferred him $120 for his costs, which caused him to go - still fuming - out the house. I took the computer and went into the room I was sleeping in.
My mom came back an hour later (10 PM by now) and asked what had gone wrong, and my sister (24F) told her the story. She then went to the room I was in and asked about the computer, and when I stated my demands she got really upset and said that "she will not speak about money, and if I want it so much just take it and they will buy a new one".
I later ask my sister what had gone wrong, and she said "We don't take money from family"... Now I think that since I bought this computer with my own money, and since it was a gaming laptop with great specs that can get at least $450 on the second-hand market in my country and that would cost at least $1,500 to replace, I am entitled to some sort of compensation for my property - and that giving it to them for a 20% discount on this price ($360 - they will not be able to get anything even remotely comparable for that price) is more than fair. However, my mom, sister and stepdad are still mad at me while my 2 brothers (23M and 19M) say that they think I was right but should have just given in so my mom will not be mad.
AITA?

I first started noticing that something was wrong around 3 months ago. At the time, I was working from home and would usually light a scented candle while I worked, which usually helped me relax and stay focused on my work. I would usually burn through a candle a week, but over time, the candles started to take less time to fully burn up. At first, I thought that this was because of a change in ingredients the company that made the candles used, but the problem persisted after I switched candle brands, which I once again blamed on the candle manufacturers.
I kept this belief for another week until the first incident. While getting up from my computer desk, which faces away from the candle, to take a quick bathroom break, I caught a glimpse of the lit candle. A two-inch layer of molten wax rested on another three-inch layer of solid wax, the wicks rising out at first and being somewhat visible through the molten layer, finally breaking the surface and being slowly burned away. The flames flickered as I swung the door open and walked out of the room. When I returned 10 minutes later, the molten layer was gone, and the wicks had been shortened so that the flames rested right above the solid layer of the wax. At first, I thought that the glass jar that contained the candle was leaking, but after a short inspection, I was only able to find two small drops of candle wax that had solidified right next to the candle on the bedside table. I still had 2 hours of work left to do, but I was too lost in thought and was unable to do any work for the rest of the day.
Every night before I go to sleep, I like to read for at least 30 minutes, and while reading, I usually light a candle. Around 4 days later, I had mostly forgotten about the incident and went back to using candles. Due to my naivety, it returned.
I fell asleep while reading with a candle lit on my bedside table. I woke up to loud slurping noises. As I opened my eyes, the brightness of the light I had not turned off almost blinded me. As my eyes tried to readjust to the light and focus on what was in front of me, I saw a somewhat humanoid dark gray to light blue blur that contrasted with the white paint on the walls behind it. Another gray line stretched from the shape's head to the candle on my bedside table. I could feel my heart skip five consecutive beats. I opened my mouth and tried to force out a scream for help, but the pressure I applied to my throat was way beyond what it was able to handle, leading me to only produce a light wheezing sound. I tried to sit up or to at least prop myself up, but my muscles failed me. Trying to push myself up with my arms felt impossible. As I stared at the figure that had suddenly appeared in my room, my eyes finally managed to focus, making it possible for me to see the intruder who was now staring at me. The figure was a man at least 7 feet tall, fully naked; he looked bloated; his eyes were bloodshot and looked like they would pop out of their sockets; at any point, his skin was a grayish light blue.
HIS LIPS
His lips extended from his mouth like an elephant's trunk, which had been split in half. The lips extended from the man's face to the candle; the flames had been put out. He was using his lips as a makeshift straw, slowly sucking up all the molten wax from the candle, which had fully liquified while I was asleep. I laid in bed, unable to move, unable to scream for help, staring until he emptied the jar. His lips retracted back to his face, the molten wax solidifying on their tips and cracking, flakes of wax falling off the man's lips and falling to the floor. The man grinned, staring at me. The ridges and gaps between the teeth were filled in with wax, making it impossible to make out where one tooth ended and the next one began. The man opened the door he was standing next to, but instead of walking out of the room, he stepped behind it. His face peered at me from above the door, and then once again, like he had done to drink the wax, the man puckered his lips, which stretched from his mouth and floated to me. I shook and tried to roll over away from him. I wanted to get up and run, but my fear had taken over my body. Tears flowed from my eyes. He kissed me on the cheek, leaving flakes of wax and light moisture. He retracted his lips and lowered his head behind the door.
I don't remember falling asleep, but when I woke up, I saw the empty glass jar, which at one point contained the candle. Even though I had hoped that what had happened was a dream, it wasn't. I still had flakes of wax on my cheek, and on my bedroom floor, the wax in the jar had disappeared. I called the police, but they were unable to find anyone in my apartment; they also could not find any evidence of a break-in.
After the break-in, I started looking for a new apartment to move to, thinking that the man was tied to the building I was in, but even though I had thrown out all of my candles, I could not stomach spending another hour in my apartment, constantly looking over my shoulder or walking around with my back pressed up against the wall to not allow it to creep up on me. Thankfully, my friend Emma was able to let me stay over at her apartment while I looked for a new one for myself.
Me and Emma have been friends since we were 8, and we've been there to support each other when times get rough. This isn’t the first time I've had to stay over at her house for an extended amount of time; in fact, I have had to stay over at Emma’s as many times as she has had to stay over at my apartment, whether it was because of evictions after losing a job, breakups, or a candle wax drinking squatter. I didn't even know if it was human. I mean, sure, it looked like one, but human lips are not supposed to do what his did, and somehow it didn't have a reaction to molten wax being poured down its esophagus. I didn't tell Emma about what happened—the details at least—I just told her that a man had broken into my house and was watching me sleep. The only people I told the truth to were my therapist and the cops, and all of them disregarded what I told them as my mind making things up after a traumatic event.
For a while, I believed what they said—I mean, why wouldn’t I?—but then I started seeing him again. For a few days, I thought it was my mind playing tricks on me again like it had done during the night of the incident. For split seconds out of the corner of my eye, I would see the outline of a tall, bloated figure. At first, they were hours apart, but after a while, it became constant. He was standing in each room I passed, in every single dark corner I glanced past, and then he spoke.
“FeeD MeEeee”
It stood in the kitchen, peering over from a small gap between the fridge and the sink, where the trash can that had been knocked over onto its side usually stood. His voice was raspy, and every word that came out of his mouth was distorted as if he were gargling water, but still, I could somehow clearly make out each word he said from over 15 feet away.
“Please just leave me alone I… why are you following me?”
I shouted at the figure, the same fear that had taken over my body during the night I saw him for the first time paralyzing me, making it impossible for me to move anything other than my eyes, eyelids, and mouth.
“i’M sTarviNg, I nEEd You To FeEd ME”
It replied again. Now, stepping out from behind the fridge, he stepped directly onto a rotten banana. Its mushy brown content’s seeping out of the peel under the pressure of his decomposing foot, which was covered in scabs, and took up the same grayish light blue color as the rest of his body. He mostly looked the same; his bloodshot eyes bulged from their sockets, but now his tongue was swollen. It peeked out from between his bloated, cracked gray lips; it stared at me, waiting for an answer.
“Ok, I’ll.. I’ll feed you, but please just... leave me alone.”
I replied, the tone of my voice shifting into high-pitched squeals with every quick breath I took. He looked satisfied by my response. He somehow squeezed his bloated body back into the gap that was at least four times smaller than him. After peering over at me from above the fridge, he bent over backwards, his spine releasing a series of sickening cracks until he was fully obscured by the fridge, and then he vanished.
Still barely in control of my body, I limped over to the couch tucked away in the back corner of the living room, it took me at least 10 minutes to steady my breathing and 20 more to fully regain control of my body again but as soon as I did I ran out the house and to the nearest store, during the 15-minute walk he stared at me through dark windows and the backs of cars, peered out at me from gaps between leaves in the trees and bushes, he even followed me into the store staring at me from the middle of deserted isles before disappearing right before my eyes were able to fully catch him, once I finally got the candles I randomly picked four off of the shelves and rushed to the self checkout.
When I arrived home, I had 2 hours before Emma got off work. I didn't want to feed it while she was home, and I didn't want her to see it. I pulled out two of the candles from the black plastic bag and placed them on the kitchen table, the first a light blue candle named “Garden Rain” and the second a red candle named “Juicy Watermelon." I pulled out a lighter from one of the drawers Emma used after her stove stopped lighting on its own and lit each of the 6 wicks on the candles. As soon as I started seeing the wax melt under the heat of the burning wicks, I dropped the lighter onto the table next to the candles and ran out of the room. I could not stomach seeing that thing again; even just thinking about it made me shudder and hyperventilate. The paralyzing fear that seeing him caused me made me want to vomit.
At least 30 minutes later I started to hear it drink even though the living room and kitchen were separated by a wall, even though I had closed the door I could still hear what at first started as slurping sounds which were followed up by loud gulps, then it stopped, and once again 30 minutes later it started drinking, as the slurping started once again I heard the door to the apartment crack open, it was Emma, as she stepped through the door I saw her carrying two large brown paper bags of groceries in her hands, she was headed to the kitchen.
“Hey let me grab those for you”
I said running over to her, my voice shaking.
“Oh, thanks. Are you… okay, you look scared?”
My eyes shot wide open in a mixture of fear and surprise. I said the first thing that came to mind.
“Yeah just umm… I didn't expect you to come home so early and I got a bit spooked”
“shit sorry, I know I should have called you, work let me off early today,”
I started to turn away from her walking to the kitchen.
Trying to keep her away from the kitchen I told her to wait for me in the living room because I wanted to talk to her about something. I didn't know what I would talk to her about but that was a problem for future me to resolve, somehow it worked.
“What's that sound?”
She called out to me while walking towards the living room couch. It took me a few seconds to come up with an excuse.
“I think it’s the sink, or the pipes at least”
I opened the door to the kitchen with my eyes closed at first hesitant to look knowing what would be greeting me. slowly prying my eyes open I started to see its outline, my muscles started to lose strength as the details of the man came into my view, I felt the grocery bags start to slip from my arms, my knees buckled, face first I fell onto the kitchen floor scattering the groceries all over the floor, I mixture of a light scream and a yelp escaped from my mouth as my body made contact with the floor, Emma concerned for my safety ran into the kitchen, she didn't scream, using all of the strength and mobility I had left in my muscles I rolled over expecting to see her face drenched in terror, her body frozen still unable to move just like my body had done the first time that I saw him, but Emma looked concerned, the man was gone, she crouched down beside me.
“Oh my god are you ok? What happened?”
I looked around observing my surroundings.
“I um… I… I tripped on the little thing at the bottom of the doorframe”
I finally managed to blurt out another excuse, not being able to remember what the name of a door sill was. I started to sit up using a part of the energy that had returned to my body, pain pulsed through my chest and arms, Emma looked at me with a concerned face.
“You've been acting really weird since I got home, are you sure you're ok?”
“Yeah… I think I’m just having one of those days you know”
The confusion on Emma’s face said that she didn’t know and to be honest I didn't either, I guess my luck of pulling random excuses out of my ass ran out, Emma thought that she triggered some sort of PTSD response after barging into the house unannounced at first apologizing then trying to change the subject to stop my trembling which I was still unsuccessfully trying to hide from her.
“Did you buy candles?”
Emma asked picking the groceries apart from the garbage that spilled out the can that the man had knocked over, placing them on the table next to the now half-empty glass jars, the flames flickered above the inch or so of molten wax the man was unable to finish drinking.
“Yeah I’ve been struggling with work lately, they usually help me focus”
“Huh Interesting combination you’ve got going on here”
She looked at me and smiled slightly, I smiled back and chuckled to seem normal.
“Yeah even I don't know what I was trying to accomplish here, to be honest”
I tried to help Emma clean up the spilled groceries but she did not let me, she told me that I needed to recover like I had been in a car crash instead of having taken a little tumble. After a few seconds of silence, Emma spoke again.
“Anyway, what did you want to talk to me about earlier?”
A quick jolt of stress shot through my body, in a jumbled mess of lies and fear I had forgotten what I had told Emma, I sat there in silence for a few seconds unable to come up with an excuse
“I…umm… I don’t remember, it wasn't anything serious though”
“Damn did you hit your head too?”
She said once again proudly smiling at her joke.
At this point Emma picked up the last bag of potato chips from the floor and placed it on the table, then she opened the fridge and started loading the groceries into it.
“Anyway I gotta go get back to work’’
I blurted out after a few more seconds of awkward silence.
“Alright well good luck”
I walked over into the living room and sat down in front of my workstation, which now consisted of a laptop sitting on a small foldable TV tray that had just barely enough room left on it to fit a small USB mouse.
The last thing I remember, before I fell asleep, was me mindlessly scrolling through apartment listings while Emma watched a random 90’s horror movie I’m positive only had a budget of $500.
I woke up with a light stinging pain shooting through my dry throat, and a dim hissing sound caused by thousands of water drops striking the ground outside filled the room. I pressed the spacebar on my laptop, the brightness of the screen blinding me temporarily, after taking a few seconds to let my eyes readjust I managed to make out the time, 3:45 AM. A strong smell I was unable to make out the origin of assaulted my nostrils. Lavender.
The smell hitting my nose had the same effect on me that I would expect smelling salts would have on a weightlifter right before they set a world record. Before I knew it my legs were moving on their own at an almost uncontrollable pace, fighting back against my mind which was telling them to slow down after years of being used to navigating both mine and Emma’s apartment as steadily as possible to not bother the neighbors.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity I stood before Emma’s bedroom door, a faint, yellow, pulsating light radiated from a lamp and snuck out of a small gap between the door and the doorframe, reluctantly I pushed my left hand up against the door, my right hand grasping onto the door frame for a sense of stability, once the door was fully agape I scanned the inside of the room my heart skipping a beat for every humanoid shadow cast up onto the wall by the lights from the wicks which were set ablaze and were being slowly burnt away.
I walked into Emma’s room and made my way over to her bedside table to put out the candle, as I stepped closer towards her, her face became more defined, I could finally make out her features, she was awake, but no she could not have been, even though her eyes were wide open they never blinked, she didn't even move slightly, as I moved closer I finally managed to fully make out the expression of pure terror on her face, her mouth wide agape as if she was about to release a deafening screach, but she could not have, a single drop of solidified wax dribbled out of the corner of her mouth and clung to her cheek, my eyes traced the cream colored path back towards her mouth, first up her cheek then between the corner of her mouth and finally behind her teeth, there instead of her tongue or the roof of her mouth I saw a wall of wax which had filled in the entirety of her mouth.
I fell to my knees and hunched forward supporting my body weight with my arms, I was too late, I resisted the urge to vomit and got back up onto my feet, a mixture of tears and snot slid down my face and onto my lips, shaking now I slowly started limping over towards my phone which I had left on the couch next to where I had awoken just minutes before, just minutes before my life was destroyed because of my lies if I had just told Emma what I had gone through, if I had just told her what had happened on the night of the incident which now seemed trivial, even if she thought that I was crazy, I know that she would have complied just to make me feel comfortable.
It took me at least 30 seconds of repeated attempts to stabilize my hands enough to properly dial 911. “Someone broke into my apartment and hurt my friend” was the only reasonable explanation I could come up with that would not get the operator to hang up on me thinking that this was a prank call.
I sat there in the living room for an agonizing 10 minutes, crying, my sadness slowly transformed into anger towards myself, and my mind raced thinking of all the lies I’d told, I kept thinking that if I had just told her the truth she would not have been laying there in her bed, her body bloated, “every single orifice has signs of forced penetration and has been filled with what seems to be candle wax” is what was written on her autopsy report.
For a few days I was the main suspect in Emma’s murder, but due to the almost unstoppable crying and the unresponsive state that I was in when the police arrived, mixed with the lack of evidence of me having a way to produce 30 pounds of candle wax led to me being released out of police custody, but because I was the main suspect I was not told any details about what had fully happened to Emma, for days all I had to work off of was the image of her face frozen in terror, and a short glance I caught of her bloated body as she was being carted out on a stretcher.
I recounted every single word of our last conversations over and over again until they became permanently etched into my brain.
Emma’s parents originally wanted to cremate her, as that is what she had somewhat jokingly asked for whenever the topic of funerals came up, well she had joked about wanting to have had unpopped popcorn shoved down her throat before she was sent off to “scare the shit out of the guy cremating me” but due to all the wax which would have been impossible to get out of her body they were forced to bury her.
A few days before Emma’s funeral her body disappeared.
After Emma’s death, her parents took me into their home, after reading the autopsy reports and seeing her corpse they had thrown out every single candle they owned which made their home the safest choice I had, still, this did not stop me from buying a machete and keeping it under my bed, just in case.
I was laying on the bed in their guest bedroom The day that the police informed Emma’s parents about her disappearance, the bedroom is right above the front porch of the house, at first I heard them ring the doorbell which was followed up by 3 powerful knocks on the door, for about a minute I laid there on the bed listening to muffled voices exchanging distorted words I was barely able to make out which slowly transformed into distorted weeps, curious I lifted myself up from the bed, made my way over to the window and carefully lifted the bottom panel making Shure to not make too much noise, the distorted muffled sounds started forming into coherent words “We checked the security footage but the only strange thing we could see was a 5 second time jump” one of the officers spoke in a serious and almost monotone voice “which meant that the security guard who was the only person in the building had to climb down 2 flights of stairs walk through a 40 foot long hallway and then drag her body back up stairs and out of the building in 5 seconds” Emma’s mom let out yelp “ but don’t worry ma'am that’s actually good news because we know that her corpse is still somewhere within the building and was probably brought to the wrong floor by an intern, we’ve already warned all of the staff at the hospital to keep an eye out, and we also sent 5 officers to search the hospital”
I could not believe what I was hearing, my breathing quickened, but this time instead of fear I felt anger, that fucker stole her corpse and was probably in the weird separate plane of existence he always went back to after terrorizing me, cutting off chunks of her body, melting her, and drinking her.
I closed the window Emma’s mom's cries once again turned into a muffled rumble which was only possible to make out if you knew what to look for, I took a few steps back away from the window planning to lay back down, not wanting to bother Emma’s parents. I bumped into something, not something, someone, its fleshy towering form as solid as a wall sent me tumbling forward, I knew it was him, he had returned to take me too, to stretch his swollen cracked lips, push them down my esophagus, fill my lungs and stomach with wax. But despite all of that this time I was not scared, I was angry, and I was not going to stand there in terror like I had the last time I saw him.
I fell forward onto my knees my face missing the window sill just by mere inches, I put my hands onto the floor, lifted one of my knees, and rotated 180 degrees now facing the monster, to the right of him pushed up against the wall was the bed, light from the sun reflected off of the metallic button which kept my machete in it’s sheathe, the man started to stretch his lips, they were moving towards me, waving a wiggling through the air like a snake slithering towards me.
I dove towards the bed one of my feet pushing off of the floor and the other pushing against the wall which creaked under the pressure applied to it, I flew for a few moments before slamming down onto the carpet and sliding forward, the heat generated by my skin brushing against the carpet released a sharp stinging pain throughout my body, my outstretched arm landed just a few inches short of the machete, I quickly bent my arms, pushing my body up and crawled towards the machete. my fingers wrapped around the handle I spun around, my back pushed up against the bedside table, once again facing the man, he was still facing the window but his lips faced me and were just a few feet away from me, for what felt like minutes but was most likely no longer than a second, I struggled to hook my finger under the strap securing the machete into its sheath, as the lips inched towards me the man started producing gurgling noises, he was regurgitation wax.
I finally pulled the machete out of its sheath, I swung the blade at the man's lips, the blade was not met with any resistance as it sliced through the man’s lips which landed on the carpeted floor with an audible thud, the man did not have a physical reaction to my counter-attack, his lips kept creeping towards me, once again I slashed at the lips, still no reaction, I repeated this at least 3 more times.
I wanted to kill him, I wanted to take revenge for what he had done to Emma, but fighting back was pointless. I realized that no matter how much I tried to hurt it, I could not kill him, I could not get rid of him.
My rage dissipated and a mixture of fear and sadness crept in, and soon took over my body, I screamed for help, I screamed in fear, in agony, tears streamed down my face as the man's lips finally reached my face, he wasn’t met with any resistance as his lips snuck between mine, pried my jaw open and finally started to slide down my esophagus.
I heard the cops run up the stairs, they started banging on the door asking if I was okay only to have been met with muffled screams, hot wax started to pour down inside of me, the stinging pain of the heat made me want to plunge the machete which I had dropped onto the ground next to me into my stomach to create a gaping wound that the wax would hopefully funnel out of, the texture of the man's slippery, oily lips matched with the poison like flavor of the wax caused me to start gagging, I felt my insides bulging like at any moment my intestines would have been filled to the point where they would pop, I wanted to vomit, the drain myself of the filth I was filled with, but his lips had plugged my throat not allowing anything to get out.
Hearing my muffled screams the cops started kicking the door down, the man retracted his lips, the suction aided my attempts at cleansing my insides, I got onto my hands and knees streams of molten wax pouring out of me, solidifying on the the carpet, with another loud thud the door swung open slamming into the wall, the man was gone.
That’s the last thing I remember before I passed out, but according to one of the doctors who was in the ambulance that brought me to the hospital, I was still semi-responsive during the first 10 minutes of the ride to the hospital.
Approximately 13.4 pounds of wax were removed from my body, the doctors said that I was in a critical condition and some of them did not expect me to make it.
One of the officers who was there the day the man attacked me took a report of what had happened to me, due to the unmistakable evidence of what had happened to both me and Emma, and the fact that this was the 3rd instance of me reporting something like this the police finally started investigating who this man might have been.
Around a month later I was discharged from the hospital and once again have been staying in the living room of Emma’s parent's house.
I’ve been seeing the man again, candles were not allowed in the hospital I stayed at, which means that he’s probably very hungry, he’s close to attacking me again, I know it, he wants to finish what he started and I don't know if I have the power to fight back, I’m not sure if defeating him is even possible, I’m tired.
I’ve been seeing Emma too, her bloated, reanimated corpse often appears to be standing next to the man. If I let him take me will I get to join them? I’ve tried asking but they don’t answer, they just stare, I can’t keep living in constant fear, always looking over my shoulder, I miss Emma.

This is kinda long so
TL;DR: I developed derealization in November, and since it has made me hallucinate, delusional at times, disassociate from reality, paranoid, made me sometimes forget how to do simple tasks, draw blanks when having a conversation, and overall making me feel like there’s something not right neurologically. Last night I did not feel tired, even thought it was late at night, and a thought came to mind that I was developing fatal insomnia. Fatal insomnia doesn’t start with sleeplessness, it starts with symptoms like the ones I had prior. I’m terrified, and I can’t get medical attention rn. Help.
Alright, here we go. (Keep in mind that I have posted here before, just on another account)
Last night I was not tired at all. I already have the conventional insomnia, but most of the time I still felt tired, with an unquenchable desire to sleep, just not being able to. However, last night, I was completely tireless, but I still wanted to sleep, no longer because I was tired, but because I should have been asleep at the time. Eventually I just closed my eyes for a few minutes and I was asleep. Months before that, on the night of November 18, 2023, I closed my eyes to sleep, when I saw a green orb on the side of my vision. It moved almost like it was alive, and then left my field of view. I opened my eyes to a world that felt a lot more fabricated than before, physically. I felt realization before in those small doses that everyone has once in a while. But this time, it was here to stay. The next day, everything felt unreal, and the it was terrifying. Thankfully, if I stopped thinking about it and distracted myself, I would feel better. Two months later, it got worse. Things started feeling really blurry, and any artificial light (especially at night) looked saturated and was almost painful to look at. I began to not recognize everyday things, like my own face, and it would almost scare me. I would be in a constant state of paranoia. My (regular) insomnia, that I had prior, got to me, and I would wake up in the middle of the night, completely delusional, believing I’m a different person. I thought I was a soldier in war, and a character in an FPS game, and some more that I forgot. After a few minutes though at most, I would slap some sense into myself. I started hallucinating too, seeing dark figures, glowing dots, and faces. It only got worse, so awful that the only place I felt I were in, were my thoughts, which were often negative at this point. I don’t know what would warrant such a state of mind; My life has been going relatively well, so there would be no reason for me to go into derealization. I started feeling dizzy often, My head sometimes hurt, and starting last month, I noticed what I can only assume to be a cognitive decline. I’ve always been a little half witted, Having a bad memory and learning things very slowly, but my communication skills were getting worse as I was struggling to find words in conversations. I also started messing up on routine things, often because I was overthinking them. My delusions were slipping into daytime too, where my derealization would disassociate me from the world so much that I would believe I was somewhere else doing something else, but the duration of this would be a fraction of a second. Oddly enough, I don’t seem to develop ataxia. This ties into fatal insomnia considering that the condition often doesn’t start with the lack of sleep, but a mental decline, not necessarily a severe one (I’m not an expert obviously) And up until last night, I may have been in that stage. This is the start of the insomnia, I’m scared. The youngest person to die from sporadic fatal insomnia was the same age I am (16) I would drive to a doctor, but my parents aren’t allowing me to get a drivers license until i’m 18. I also cannot convince my parents to take me to the doctors because it’s a “waste of their time.” At this point the only thing I can do is exaggerate the symptoms now. As of typing this I don’t even feel like I truly am. I just feel like a jumble of thoughts watching something moving.

My (ex)fiancé and I had been together for almost 6.5 years, engaged for almost 2.5. Over the last several months, my (ex)fiancé has sat me down to talk about our relationship about once a month. Before these conversations, he would shut down and barely speak to me for several days even when I would ask what was wrong. Then he would finally tell me he was ready to have a conversation and would express his frustrations with the relationship. By the time of our conversations, I would already be on the defensive from his recent behavior. I also generally do not receive feedback well. When he would try to tell me that he was unhappy in our relationship because I didn't compliment him enough, flirt with him enough, or tell him I loved him enough, I would shut down. I was not able to hear what he was really trying to tell me. Instead, I put up a wall and told him to love me for who I am. I basically asked him "If I'm happy in our relationship despite my frustrations, why can't you be?" I now realize that is not an appropriate or healthy response when your partner is trying to communicate with you.
I did try to hear him. I gifted him some lingerie for the first time and let him take a boudoir photo shoot of me wearing it. I started sending a few more cute messages. I tried to make more time to cuddle with him when he would ask. I tried to give him more hugs. I tried to thank him more for picking up around the house. I wrote him a cute letter and surprised him with a few gifts for Easter. However, about a month ago, we had another one of those conversations. Except this time the first things he brought up were 'wondering what else is out there' and talking about how other girls are always complimenting him. Again came the walls and extra defensiveness. I ended up writing him a letter talking about how I didn't know if I could ever be what he wanted me to be and that maybe he should think about calling things off. This was obviously a defense mechanism to try to beat him to the punch line and talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy. Three weeks later he would sit me down and tell me he wanted to know what else was out there again and that he didn't know if he could go through with marrying me. My efforts did not feel like enough for him and I understand why. I was having a hard time connecting my emotions with my actions which made my actions seem reactionary and not genuine or provoked by love.
I have been through a lot more trauma in my life than I realized. My dad was in the Navy while I was growing up. We had to move every three years. A very pivotal point in my life was when we moved when I was in the 6th grade. I lived right next door to my best friend. I was finding my love for math and theater. I also played soccer and was a Girl Scout. When we moved, I became very depressed, though I didn't understand that's what it was at the time. I stopped all of my extracurricular activities. I stopped getting too close to people because I knew I would have to move or they would have to move eventually. I mostly stayed in my room and kept to myself, even from my family. I also have struggled with anxiety for as long as I can remember. Then, in my senior year of high school, I got my first-ever boyfriend. We were in a relationship for over 4 years. In that relationship, I would always be the one to try to talk about our problems. I would be the one who would always want longer hugs and more cuddles. But it was not a healthy relationship. We broke up and got back together many times. I found several illicit texts to other girls on multiple occasions and he would always gaslight me by saying his younger brother stole his phone or I misinterpreted the messages. I think this caused me not to want to show my emotions because it wasn't reciprocated and resulted in heartache. Then, three years ago my younger brother died in a tragic car accident at the age of 17.
When I realized I could lose the love of my life, I realized that he was right about me not being affectionate enough. I had built up walls to protect myself. I thought I had made progress on my anxiety and depression, but I realized I was wrong. I also realized that I have issues with communication, trust, and vulnerability. I was a great partner in other ways and I did express my love in other ways. I moved across the country, coast to coast, with him to a state where I didn't know anyone so that he could attend his dream school. I take care of the household. I get the majority of the groceries. I do all of the cooking. I do all of the maintenance cleaning. I take care of our 2 cats and 1 dog. I say all of those in the present tense because we currently still live together but are sleeping in separate rooms. I also financially supported him by lending him money and letting him pay less of the rent because I made more money. I accept all of him including that he has terrible time management skills, he can have a hard time controlling his emotions at times, and he is disorganized and messy. I also accepted that I would have to wait for marriage and children because of his school and accepted that he did not have a lot of free time between school, work, and his hobbies. I supported his love for his hobbies by accepting his purchasing of expensive equipment even when he owed me money, traveling to watch several events that were important to him, and traveling to see him win an award from his job. I would write heartfelt cards for every holiday. I also bought him dozens of children's books about love that I wanted us to read to our children one day.
When I realized I could lose him, I felt something change inside me. It was like I could feel a hole being blown in the wall I had built up. I felt all my love for him overwhelm me. I couldn't hug him, kiss him, or tell him I love him enough. I tried to talk to him to apologize for my behavior and how badly I'd hurt him. I tried to explain how I felt like a different person and how I really wanted to work hard on improving myself as a partner to make our relationship work. I tried to prove my words with actions. I wrote a list of things I needed to work on including communication and being more affectionate. I also wrote out a list of ways to work on those things and actually started doing the things on the list. Some of the items I had already begun to do like hug and kiss him more and tell him I love him more. I also tried to ask more questions about his interests/hobbies/day. I was more vulnerable and talked with him about my feelings more. I even initiated intimacy, something I had really only done once in a blue moon when I was intoxicated. I also set up my individual therapy sessions.
Despite all of my efforts, over the next two weeks, he continued to say he did not know if he could be with me and wanted to know what else was out there. He was very wavering and said multiple times "I don't know what the right decision is." He said he could not trust that my changes would last and that it was probably too late. I begged him to try couples therapy, but he refused and said "Therapy takes too long" and basically said it wasn't worth the time. He finally broke up with me after 2 weeks of going back and forth and I was devastated. He later talked to a mutual friend of ours and changed his mind about therapy. I was so happy to hear that he had changed his mind. However, now I feel like I can't even trust him anymore. He's turning into a person I don't recognize and I don't know what he's capable of anymore. I don't know if the man I love still exists. When he told me he was now agreeable to try therapy he said "We're still broken up, but I won't talk to any other girls." and then promptly said "And it will give me more time to find a place to live if things don't work out." He deleted several Instagram posts that had photos of me after he agreed to try therapy which makes me think he's not actually that open to healing our relationship. He complained to me about how he might have to take out student loans after I told him he needed to pay me for half of the rent while we're broken up and not decreased rate he had been paying me. He also "checked on me" on the night of the 3rd year anniversary of my brother's death when he heard me crying. Then he just sat on the end of the bed scrolling his phone while I cried as if he was checking on me because he felt like he had to and not because he wanted to. When I asked him if he had some sort of deadline in mind for the therapy, because he had previously mentioned that it takes too long, he said July or August and I have a suspicion that is because a girl he likes is leaving for summer break but will be back at the end of August for the next semester.
I just feel like the way he has been acting is not how you act towards someone you were in a relationship with for almost 6.5 years. Especially after saying you still love them and have no negative feelings towards them. That means even though you don't think you are a good relationship match, you should still want to treat them with respect. You should care that they are hurting during this time. You should want to comfort them in their grief of a separate event. You should mean it if you say you want to try therapy.
TL; DR : Do you think therapy will help?

My Advice As a 2024 High school Graduate
My last day of Senior year is tomorrow and I have a few things I wanna say to those of you still in middle school/ high school.
Things I believe I did well - and things I believe you should do well too :)
• Push yourself out of your comfort zone - whether that be by taking a hard class or doing that activity you’re iffy about. You can always drop something if it’s too hard but it’s better to start and fail than never try. I took AP Chem my junior year and it kicked my ass, but in the end it was my favorite class in high school and I passed the exam :) Science rocks.
• This is SOOOOO cliche, but please, do something you actually like in high school. I participated in activities I actually cared deeply about and was able to talk about to other people as well as write about in college/ scholarship applications. I got into a top university and a bunch of scholarships. Just make it a priority to do things you like - no matter what it is - and be a leader in it.
• Be friendly to everyone, yes, even the people you despise. Honestly, you never know who will be able to help you down the line. The treasurer at my school is notoriously mean and I actually made the effort to get to know her and speak to her kindly. She then waived all of my school fees so I didn’t have to pay anything. And not just because they can do something for you but because being kind is just what’s right.
Things I wish I did/ did better - don’t be like me!
• Tell my best friend about my feelings for him. I’ve loved him for 4 years and have always been too shy/insecure to say anything about it. And now he’s going away for university, we’ll never be together like we were in high school again. Just bite the bullet and move on, not worth the tears lol. But oddly I don’t necessarily regret this decision. (Wish I would’ve had just ONE boyfriend at least lmao)
• I wish I was less insecure. People do not care about you like you think they do. This sounds harsh but there’s freedom in this truth. Wear what you want, don’t cover your smile when you laugh, take that picture (because when you graduate - or in 20 years - you’ll wish you had that stupid photo of you from Freshman year)
• Fixed this cursed sleep schedule and formed better habits. I have an abomination of a sleep Schedule. I get 4 hours on average and have no idea what it’s like to feel well rested. Since I’m always tired I don’t go to the gym and yeah - downward spiral. Health is the most valuable thing you can possess, treat yourself kindly.
Good luck everyone!

my parents are legally still together but my dad made her move out after she got caught cheating. we all kinda already knew but none of us knew the extent of the problem. when my dad is out of town my mom stays with me. she very often comes home drunk and is incredibly obvious about the fact she is still sleeping around. i don’t really know how this wouldnt take a toll on me but i have no idea on what i should do. i know she is not my responsibility but it kinda sucks, a lot.
btw i am not in the mental or financial state to be able to move out, as much as i wish i could. and my dad is a worsening alcoholic on the verge of losing it so anything with him is not going to work
tldr: mom is a sex addict and has an alcohol problem theres nothing i can do about it and i cant move out. it sucks

My (ex)fiancé and I had been together for almost 6.5 years, engaged for almost 2.5. Over the last several months, my (ex)fiancé has sat me down to talk about our relationship about once a month. Before these conversations, he would shut down and barely speak to me for several days even when I would ask what was wrong. Then he would finally tell me he was ready to have a conversation and would express his frustrations with the relationship. By the time of our conversations, I would already be on the defensive from his recent behavior. I also generally do not receive feedback well. When he would try to tell me that he was unhappy in our relationship because I didn't compliment him enough, flirt with him enough, or tell him I loved him enough, I would shut down. I was not able to hear what he was really trying to tell me. Instead, I put up a wall and told him to love me for who I am. I basically asked him "If I'm happy in our relationship despite my frustrations, why can't you be?" I now realize that is not an appropriate or healthy response when your partner is trying to communicate with you.
I did try to hear him. I gifted him some lingerie for the first time and let him take a boudoir photo shoot of me wearing it. I started sending a few more cute messages. I tried to make more time to cuddle with him when he would ask. I tried to give him more hugs. I tried to thank him more for picking up around the house. I wrote him a cute letter and surprised him with a few gifts for Easter. However, about a month ago, we had another one of those conversations. Except this time the first things he brought up were 'wondering what else is out there' and talking about how other girls are always complimenting him. Again came the walls and extra defensiveness. I ended up writing him a letter talking about how I didn't know if I could ever be what he wanted me to be and that maybe he should think about calling things off. This was obviously a defense mechanism to try to beat him to the punch line and talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy. Three weeks later he would sit me down and tell me he wanted to know what else was out there again and that he didn't know if he could go through with marrying me. My efforts did not feel like enough for him and I understand why. I was having a hard time connecting my emotions with my actions which made my actions seem reactionary and not genuine or provoked by love.
I have been through a lot more trauma in my life than I realized. My dad was in the Navy while I was growing up. We had to move every three years. A very pivotal point in my life was when we moved when I was in the 6th grade. I lived right next door to my best friend. I was finding my love for math and theater. I also played soccer and was a Girl Scout. When we moved, I became very depressed, though I didn't understand that's what it was at the time. I stopped all of my extracurricular activities. I stopped getting too close to people because I knew I would have to move or they would have to move eventually. I mostly stayed in my room and kept to myself, even from my family. I also have struggled with anxiety for as long as I can remember. Then, in my senior year of high school, I got my first-ever boyfriend. We were in a relationship for over 4 years. In that relationship, I would always be the one to try to talk about our problems. I would be the one who would always want longer hugs and more cuddles. But it was not a healthy relationship. We broke up and got back together many times. I found several illicit texts to other girls on multiple occasions and he would always gaslight me by saying his younger brother stole his phone or I misinterpreted the messages. I think this caused me not to want to show my emotions because it wasn't reciprocated and resulted in heartache. Then, three years ago my younger brother died in a tragic car accident at the age of 17.
When I realized I could lose the love of my life, I realized that he was right about me not being affectionate enough. I had built up walls to protect myself. I thought I had made progress on my anxiety and depression, but I realized I was wrong. I also realized that I have issues with communication, trust, and vulnerability. I was a great partner in other ways and I did express my love in other ways. I moved across the country, coast to coast, with him to a state where I didn't know anyone so that he could attend his dream school. I take care of the household. I get the majority of the groceries. I do all of the cooking. I do all of the maintenance cleaning. I take care of our 2 cats and 1 dog. I say all of those in the present tense because we currently still live together but are sleeping in separate rooms. I also financially supported him by lending him money and letting him pay less of the rent because I made more money. I accept all of him including that he has terrible time management skills, he can have a hard time controlling his emotions at times, and he is disorganized and messy. I also accepted that I would have to wait for marriage and children because of his school and accepted that he did not have a lot of free time between school, work, and his hobbies. I supported his love for his hobbies by accepting his purchasing of expensive equipment even when he owed me money, traveling to watch several events that were important to him, and traveling to see him win an award from his job. I would write heartfelt cards for every holiday. I also bought him dozens of children's books about love that I wanted us to read to our children one day.
When I realized I could lose him, I felt something change inside me. It was like I could feel a hole being blown in the wall I had built up. I felt all my love for him overwhelm me. I couldn't hug him, kiss him, or tell him I love him enough. I tried to talk to him to apologize for my behavior and how badly I'd hurt him. I tried to explain how I felt like a different person and how I really wanted to work hard on improving myself as a partner to make our relationship work. I tried to prove my words with actions. I wrote a list of things I needed to work on including communication and being more affectionate. I also wrote out a list of ways to work on those things and actually started doing the things on the list. Some of the items I had already begun to do like hug and kiss him more and tell him I love him more. I also tried to ask more questions about his interests/hobbies/day. I was more vulnerable and talked with him about my feelings more. I even initiated intimacy, something I had really only done once in a blue moon when I was intoxicated. I also set up my individual therapy sessions.
Despite all of my efforts, over the next two weeks, he continued to say he did not know if he could be with me and wanted to know what else was out there. He was very wavering and said multiple times "I don't know what the right decision is." He said he could not trust that my changes would last and that it was probably too late. I begged him to try couples therapy, but he refused and said "Therapy takes too long" and basically said it wasn't worth the time. He finally broke up with me after 2 weeks of going back and forth and I was devastated. He later talked to a mutual friend of ours and changed his mind about therapy. I was so happy to hear that he had changed his mind. However, now I feel like I can't even trust him anymore. He's turning into a person I don't recognize and I don't know what he's capable of anymore. I don't know if the man I love still exists. When he told me he was now agreeable to try therapy he said "We're still broken up, but I won't talk to any other girls." and then promptly said "And it will give me more time to find a place to live if things don't work out." He deleted several Instagram posts that had photos of me after he agreed to try therapy which makes me think he's not actually that open to healing our relationship. He complained to me about how he might have to take out student loans after I told him he needed to pay me for half of the rent while we're broken up and not decreased rate he had been paying me. He also "checked on me" on the night of the 3rd year anniversary of my brother's death when he heard me crying. Then he just sat on the end of the bed scrolling his phone while I cried as if he was checking on me because he felt like he had to and not because he wanted to. When I asked him if he had some sort of deadline in mind for the therapy, because he had previously mentioned that it takes too long, he said July or August and I have a suspicion that is because a girl he likes is leaving for summer break but will be back at the end of August for the next semester.
I just feel like the way he has been acting is not how you act towards someone you were in a relationship with for almost 6.5 years. Especially after saying you still love them and have no negative feelings towards them. That means even though you don't think you are a good relationship match, you should still want to treat them with respect. You should care that they are hurting during this time. You should want to comfort them in their grief of a separate event. You should mean it if you say you want to try therapy.
TL;DR : So should I break up with my ex-fiancé or should I keep fighting to get back the man I love?

Before starting my theory I will put up a spoiler warning up until episode 1088 in the show and unfortunately im only up to current in the show. Okay so now to the theory, first lets dive into Luffys true dream. In episode 1015 we unknowingly are given our first hint to Luffys true dream, Ace accidentally tells Yamato of Luffys true dream, although we never hear him say what it is we assumed at the time it was that he was going to be King of the Pirates, and the flashback takes place that overlaps the events of what Ace says and what Oden has written in his journal. During which, Luffy and Roger have stated the same dream and that dream I believe is to become the king of the world so that he can liberate it from the world government. Luffy may not be the brightest character but he isnt dumb and if he is nothing else he is a caring person. Luffy can't help but to help a friend in need, time and time again there is no debate, if a friend asked Luffy for help he would go to hell and back to do that and he has. Luffy hears from Sabo about what he sees in one kingdom apart of the world government and can assume it happening everywhere. This is where I think his dream starts, Luffy believes everyone should be able to live a happy life and go to sleep with food in their bellys and he not only want to do that for his friends but for the whole world. One Piece is a story of will power and the strength of a person will. Luffys dream is one that was inherited from Roger dream and we don't know if Roger inherited it himself from a long line of people all the way back to Joy Boy himself. One that has not been able to be accomplished in 800 years and during that time that will was passed down through generations to find the one that could make that dream a reality. That entire time that dream has gotten stronger and stronger and so has the will of the ones that inherited it but with that dream comes a cost and if that dream is not able to be accomplished then it poisons the person and they die as in Roger's case. In Luffys eyes if he comes Kind of the Pirates then he's King of the Oceans and that's most of the world so he will be King of the World at which point he would fight the world government for the freedom of everyone else. But that is all riding on the fact that he needs to be King of the Pirates so he needs to get to Laugh Tale and that's where things will get interesting. The reason Laugh Tale is so hard for anyone to find is hidden in the Skypiea arc. I do believe that Laugh Tale was once apart of Jaya just like Skypiea and was blown up into the sky by the knock up stream and this happened exactly 800 years ago and was one of the reasons Joy Boy couldnt complete his dream because that portion of the island and couldn't find it. I'm not exactly sure of where it could be but I believe there is something there such as a door or a portal that only Nika can open that would bring them to the final final poneglyph that shows them how reverse mountain was created to conceal an island containing some great power and subsequently destroyed the All Blue. After hearing that they follow Joy boys plans and blow up the mountain and that's where the final battle will take place.
Well if you got this far thank you and I'm sorry if it's a little incoherent or ranty, but I hope you enjoyed it. I'd love to hear your thoughts and if anyone else has any similar ideas.

I (15F) and my mom (41F) have always fought. Recently we have been getting into a lot more big fights over the littlest things, for example I did my hair a different way and she tried to tell me to not (I normally have straight hair but I let my hair go naturally wavy) because she “had more life experience” and “I don’t have curly hair”. This weekend I went to my best friends cottage and didn’t have wifi, I had to ask her dad to help me with my data because I had to stand in certain spots to get it to send messages. Her dad drove us to see some animals and I told my mom about it, soon after she asked me what time I would be home which I didn’t see since I had no data and I was busy with the animals. She got extremely upset and I answered about an 1-2 hours after when I was on my way home. She told me I was supposed to be home at noon (it was 4PM) which we didn’t agree on and she never told me when she would like me home by.
Later when I got home she spoke to me outside and told me she didn’t appreciate me ignoring her, how she was going to take my phone away if I did it again, how I should’ve answered her, and told me not to talk, etc. I was getting really upset since she was saying I was making excuses so I told her I didn’t have data and I couldn’t. Which she took as another excuse, she then screamed at me to shut up and jumped up and down getting really upset with me (having a tantrum) so I just walked off as she tried to tell me off. I was already upset with her since she slept in my bed (my uncle is over so he is in my brothers room, as well I dislike when others sleep in my bed without asking, I am a bit of a germaphobe and she showers once a month) and got upset with my brother when he said he didn’t want too sleep in my bed because he knows I wouldn’t appreciate it. She could have slept in the same bed as my dad (they don’t sleep in the same bed due to different schedules) or even slept on the other side of the couch since we have an L shaped couch. I have a plan to get a job as soon as possible so I can save to move out as soon as I can because I can’t keep arguing with her only to get blamed for every argument, at this point she makes me feel like I’m a horrible kid and I’m starting to think I’m a bad person. So AITA?

Hey guys. I (29F) am attempting to be my best at assisting my partner (27F) work through some situations that I already personally feel would be better addressed with a therapist. We are both growing into the womenthat we are, learning about ourselves and trying to navigate the world with the toolbox that we have.
I often find myself at the receiving end of hour(s) long vent sessions about experiences she's having at work were she feels she's not well received by her coworkers. Since being together, we have worked at different jobs (COVID def changed things up in the work world) yet, I always note that this is her biggest issue with every job.
I tend to be analytical - so naturally I found a pattern. I'm thinking "4 different jobs and people don't 'like' you at every one. There's a common denominator". I try to bring up the fact that she can only control what she puts out there. That the ball is in her court. Trying to encourage her while highlighting the variables that are in place (she's in QA at this job so her position means she's someone in the background pointing out flaws). I try to explain perception to her and how that can be a factor. People may perceive her as this faceless element to management and they may dislike her for it. She obviously takes the way people don't include her or speak with her personally but I am doing my best to highlight that the dislike could be towards anyone at her position. It's just the unfortunate part of the invisible hierarchy. At the same time, I am letting her know how her greatest feature is her choice in being authentic and herself. Reminding her that this can sometimes come at a cost as many folks play the social game to get ahead. She has a fork in the road. One is at a cost to her freedom while the other is at a cost to her reputation. That's life.
When she goes through these lengthy conversations, they are often filled with unneeded details which can get dizzying or she will quite frankly lose focus. I will redirect her as many times I don't know what it is she is looking for. But I will asking open ended questions to allow her to find the finish line. Today, that didn't happen as she was trapt in an emotional cycle. I eventually asked her what it is she wants out of this situation.
Admittedly, she talks the majority of the time. The only time I can say anything is by sliding in between a breath. Today, I felt as if I was being spoken at for almost 2hrs of the same exhausting conversation. I feel she should see a therapist to work through her confidence as I am clearly not reaching her with my tactics.
We got in a small argument because she stated I wasn't offering a hug or coming off sympathetic. But damn....we have been together for 5 years and every job experience is the same. I can't hold her every single time as I can get tapped out. Especially when I clearly wish for her to challenge herself to see what the issue may b ewithin her. I can't always give her what she wants. Sometimes, she needs her to know that she's in control.
It's hard to reach her when she's feeling defensive which happens often. She isn't exactly open to advice which she has noticed within herself but says she's 'working on it'. But Ive also been expressing lately that I am not always open to being talked at and vented to. She doesn't exactly have the awareness to know that being vented to...about the same thing for years, can be tiring. I also highlighted that I'm not a therapist and I may approach things untrained but damn it I'm doing my best.
I feel as if I am failing her sometimes. But at the same time, I have to stand up for myself. I expressed that when she tells me her troubles, the way I process it is by taking on her pain - as if I am her. So in turn, I am carrying her boulder. Before I could finish my sentence, she was set off and said it was a rude thing to say. I found myself scrambling trying to explain what I meant. I experience others by putting myself in their shoes. It's how I understand. So I navigate the way I would based off my experiences.
In these moments, I am back peddling often. Mainly because she dominantes the conversation. Her lack of self awareness frustrates me as it's clear she only wants a listening ear but not open to learning from a situation.
I guess I am looking for someone to coach me on how to be better at being supportive. I'm not doing it and I don't want to hurt her. I also do not feel sorry for being so serious when I am tapped out. I'm not a therapist. I never was! How do I even navigate?
We have great compatibility. But communication gets tough when one person isn't receptive. I goto therapy and she doesn't. I feel like I'm on the receiving end of her communication issues and I'm getting frustrated..
Thank you for reading all this. Any help?

That's basically what happened. While in a nursing home, I suffered a loss. my best friend died and I didn't handle it well. I started hoarding my nerve pain pills because I was depressed and had suicidal ideations. I was found out by the staff and had to spend a little time in Harding behavioral hospital at OSU. When I got out, I was invited back to the nursing home. They took away all pain/nerve/sleep/anxiety meds I had. This was after the doctors at the hospital had gotten my med balance right.
One of the nurses at the nursing home began slipping me pills for pain and anxiety. Mostly Gabapentin, but also sedatives, xanax, and sometimes opioids. He knew I was fiending and struggling with the pain. He told me the home only invited me back because of liability concerns, but they took away my meds in order to get me to leave, but he didn't want to see me go. He kept giving me the pills, then he was asking for money for them a few times. He was always talking about his financial issues and his alimony payments.
This was through May, June, July of last year. When he couldn't get me pills, he helped me get them online, picked my script up at CVS a couple times, and even had one sketchy off the grid order delivered to his house so he could bring them to me and they wouldn't be caught by the receptionist. That was the last one. The order at the end of July, when he gave me this bottle of over 100 pills each were 600mg of Gabapentin. I took so many that I couldn't go to sleep and the nursing home was scheduling me to discharge even though I didn't have a place to go. I had a breakdown where I took a lot of the pills he got me and shut myself in the shower room. I fell hit my head and my shoulder. i was bleeding everywhere and was sent to the hospital.
I know this isn't a catastrophic case of death or paralysis, and I've gotten a couple responses basically saying I wasn't damaged enough for their firm to care, have suggested that I have a case and not to give up. Are there ways to find smaller law offices who might take the case? Should I try more personal injury firms? I've only tried 3. Is there a way to get my case noticed by someone who would take it seriously? I mean, I almost killed myself. i definitely damaged parts of my body like my eyes and shoulder. I spent months in behavioral treatment and therapy.
Do I have a case? Should I bother? This guy could be doing this to other patients, but would anyone believe me even with the texts, invoices, receipts, and recordings.

I posted in this sub a few times last year when I was really going through it. Brain fog, anxiety, fatigue, vision issues, debilitating headaches and hyper sensitivity (“mini” concussions from small bumps of the head). I had 4-5 concussions over the course of 3 years, with 3 of those occurring within 2 months of each other. Outside of some lingering neck issues, I’ve made a full recovery and want to share what worked for me.
Please don’t let this long list stress you out though. There were days when getting out of bed in the morning felt like an accomplishment. Every recovery is different and only you can know what your body and brain are feeling.
Commitment After my most recent injury I decided that getting better was the most important thing in my life and I completely dedicated myself to my recovery. That’s why this list is as long as it is — I decided I was going to try everything.
Research Learning about concussions is a great place to start! It really helped me plan my course of action and think rationally about recovery. This sub is a great source of knowledge. Complete concussion management on YouTube has some great intro videos too.
Exercise I think that exercise was the #1 most important factor in my recovery. I started by going on short daily walks and doing light yoga in my house and eventually built up to 2x cardio 3x weightlifting 2x yoga every week. I got in the habit of exercising early in the day and felt like it really helped with my mental energy throughout the day.
Diet I tried to eat an anti inflammatory diet but it was hard (I really love to eat lol). I couldn’t go completely keto but I cut out carbs where I could and made an effort to cook all of my own meals with a lot of protein and vegetables. Avocado and olive oils give you omega 9s which are important for omega 3 absorption. I also didn’t really drink at all.
Supplements I don’t know exactly what worked and what didn’t but you should definitely be taking omega 3 (and probably creatine). My stack: - 4000 mg Nordic Naturals omega 3. Can cut down to normal dose after a couple months - 5 mg creatine monohydrate - 2000 mg magnesium l-theronate - 1g ImmPower AHCC (mushroom-based immune supplement) - 125 mcg vitamin d3 - Multivitamin - Dietary fiber + probiotic (gut health is important)
CBD Only way I could get to sleep for a couple months. Great for headaches. It’s also a nice substitute for alcohol when going out with friends.
Concussion clinic + Neurofeedback I went to a concussion clinic in NC shortly after my last concussion. Most of my problems were cognitive so my doctor recommended a neurofeedback program. I was super skeptical at first but it definitely improved my screen tolerance and I felt like it helped with teaching my brain how to switch off.
Neurologist + Nortryptoline Neurologists are really only good for one thing: prescribing meds. There’s a good chance you don’t need to take an SNRI but I had nerve damage at the site of impact that, whenever touched, would cause me a lot of pain and trigger hours of concussion symptoms. I think that my meds (prescribed for nerve pain) helped get some of this hypersensitivity under control.
Meditation There are people on this sub who can speak to this better than me but after a concussion your autonomic nervous system can be in an “always on” mode where you’re constantly in a state of fight or flight. Meditation while concussed is very challenging and won’t immediately zen you out but it will help you notice just how overactive your brain is and help you train yourself to redirect your attention when your mind runs wild.
Physical therapy + dry needling If you have any neck pain at all, go to PT. Seriously! It might be causing most if not all of your headaches. A few months of stretching and strengthening exercises helped resolve most of my headaches. Also, if dry needling is legal in your state, seek it out for really intense neck tightness. My PT offered needling and it was a godsend on my worst days.
Brain challenges I’m a computer programmer so getting back into work was challenging enough but I also made an effort to try to learn a new language and do some daily puzzles to help foster some new neural connections.
Try to relax when I bump my head Idk I still freak out when I bonk. I probably have had 30-40 “flare ups” over the past 2 years. No one on the internet seems to have a great answer for why this happens. I think it’s probably some sort of learned response from the brain in response to a stressor. I recently took the approach of doing everything in my power to chill out when I bump my head on something (including taking cbd immediately after). Not sure if this helped or I just needed time but I hit my head on a cabinet pretty hard last week and experienced no symptoms! That’s honestly what encouraged me to write this post.
I hope some of this will be helpful to someone. Feel free to comment or hit my dm’s if you want any more detail on anything.

We have been dating for about a year and together for three months. During time we get sexual he started off introducing to me his kink I personally didn't like it and my feelings still remain the same. He likes to slap my face spit on me and has often times described to me his fantasy of r someone even making me sit in a tub and pee on me to make me feel like trash basically. He has forced anal and oral He's used words like slt bich etc.. I know there are fetishes out there but I never felt comfortable with these sorts of things. He tries to convince me these were my ideas but I truly just want normal intimacy. I've expressed it and often felt him bored. I love him and am quite insecure and afraid to leave. Recently he had a woman move in and was there for 2 weeks where I didn't get to visit and he would come see me. He swares up and down it was just a friend who needed a place to stay. But during a brief period I needed a place and he didn't offer. Not to mention he helped her move. I moved all alone had to sleep on mt moms couch while im his gf. I have found myself drinking and crying in depression as i cant see why he wont just dump me Today was the worst for us and proved to me he doesn't care about me.. my car died leaving his house (i left because i found a dildo that wasnt mine at his house) and when i valled him ouy he claimed it was old. and when I called him he didn't pick up I was about 5 min drive from him on a freeway exit and couldn't get a tow to help me due to it being electric and completely dead I had to wait until 7 am (this happened around 3 am) because they needed a tow with a special tool. I left my car on the side of the freeway I didn't wanna stay in there until 7. I have heard terrible stories of being stuff on an off ramp. I attempted to call him and no answer. I had to end up walking 1hr towards him with a friend on the phone because I was afraid of the area. Eventually I got tired of walking and hitched a ride(against my better jusgement) but I was afraid and it was so much faster in car. The guy offered me beer and cigarette for the stress but I didn't feel right so I refused the extra offers. I get to his house and he is staring blankly awoken from sleep. I explain the situation and lay on my side avoiding him. I just needed to rest until it was time to reattempt to get the tow truck. I was so tired I just slept with him until he awoke somewhat he then had me reexplain what happened because he was so tired he didn't comprehend what happened that night. I still was bummed he wasn't there for me and feel like this is an ongoing pattern of ignoring my calls. The point is if this is my partner he should have been there for me. In the morning when we awoke around 1030 I began chatting with aaa dispatch preparing to get my vehicle. They didn't understand why I wasnt at it and why there was no key that would work. I explained my phone is the key and the car is dead and my phone would have died as well and at a offramp... after going back and forth and finally getting them to understand the situation they agreed to come get me I waited until the time they agreed to get me and no call. I called dispatch again and they said I needed to be their this time my boyfriend got up angrily and said he would take me to it... I was trying to avoid him taking me. He screamed at me the whole way saying how do I not know where my car was but I knew the whole time and was explaining it's off a specific freeway on a specific exit... he couldn't figure how to.get to it and I was frantically trying to type it into his GPS. He told me how stupid I was for not putting in an address... but it's not an adress he was ready to drop me off and make me walk until we finally spotted the tow truck. He messaged me in apology on text but I feel like all the signs are clear I'm just already to leave

I’ll start by saying I live in Canada and over the last 3 months I’ve seen several doctors including dermatologists and still have no official diagnosis and after constantly being dismissed, I’m starting to feel alone and defeated.
My ‘journey’ started in the middle of February with some intense itching in my inner thighs with no visible rash. I saw my dermatologist two weeks later and she suspected scabies but since there was no rash she couldn’t confirm anything. For the next two weeks, I felt biting sensations in my private area and the itching continued so I went back to see her. By this time the itching had moved to my armpits as well. Again, no sign of an infestation or any rashes, so told me to try anti-itch creams. There was no improvement over the next month and by now I felt like something was crawling on my skin, so I went to a walk-in clinic. Doctor couldn’t see anything that would cause any of these symptoms. They thought it was jock itch but I insisted that we explore scabies, so she told me to try 5% permethrin cream. The pharmacist sold me one tube and so I went home, followed the directions on the box and went to sleep. Woke up the next morning, washed my sheets, clothing, took a shower and figured that’s all I needed. A few days later I noticed small rashes between two of my fingers and both armpits but thought nothing of it for a couple of weeks. The itching sort of subsided but the biting and crawling sensations continued so I went to a different pharmacy and was told that I should have applied permethrin again 7 days after the first application and since I didn’t, I should just apply it as soon as possible. I bought another tube and applied it the same way as the first time, right before bed. Again, woke up, threw my stuff in the wash, took a shower and went about my day. By now I was also vacuuming daily, wearing latex gloves, wiping surfaces down with Lysol wipes, changing bedding every morning and drying everything on high heat.
A few days go by and the rashes started fading but the everything else was still there so I went to a different dermatologist and she told me that it’s definitely not scabies and that my skin was just a little dry. I sort of didn’t believe her but also kind of felt relieved as for at least two months prior to seeing her, I stayed away from everyone and worked from home and wanted to get back to my life. And so I did.
Fast forward two weeks and I discovered about 15-20 itchy pimple-like bumps on my forearm. That was 4 days ago. These pictures are from today and I now have over a hundred itchy bumps that keep spreading up my arm and since I didn’t take any precautions over the past few days have a also spread onto my genitals. Plus, my neck has a crazy rash that started this morning and it’s so itchy.
I’m so confused and I’ve been sitting at home all day, reading through hundreds of different posts trying to figure out if I had scabies and now have post scabies or if I’ve been reinfested with scabies. I will add that I’ve consistently been taking oral antihistamines since February and started trying different things like clove and neem oils, as well as 10% sulfur ointment since April, but nothing has helped. I’ve also been sitting in a near infrared sauna for 30 minutes from December until about a month ago and am wondering if maybe that’s why I didn’t have any visible signs of scabies until a few weeks after I stopped.
Not sure if I’m looking for an answer or to simply tell my story, but I’m open to opinions and advice.

I know no one is perfect but hear me out. Me and my husband have always had a great relationship. We talk through our problems and have never had to hide how we feel. Even though I have a mental disorder he has never made me less and always helped me navigate my ups and downs. We have a 4yo girl and I am carrying our second child a boy. We are all excited. Here comes the issue. I'm in third trimester and alot of problems have cropped up. My pregnancy became high risk, our cars transmission went out, ect. I am super stressed and in pain. My mental health is getting worse but I can't say anything. I see him working overtime to get us more money and he comes home exhausted. He still wakes up, and helps feed our daughter and me even when I want to do breakfast. He takes time out to play with her and does all the chores. He refuses to let me touch anything chore wise so I sneak and do some while he's at work. As a stay at home mom I see him struggle with a tired smile and for the first time in 7 years, I'm holding back. I want to tell him when I'm tired stressed or in pain, but I look at him and can't say anything. Even when he sits down and asks me if I'm OK I just smile and say I'm tired. I physically choke the words down and cry to myself when he goes to sleep. How do I deal with my moods? Is there anything I can do that won't put more stress on this man who is going above and beyond? Should I just wait for things to get better? Will it get better after I give birth? I love him, but for the first time, I can't tell him how lonely I feel. I feel so ungrateful.

It's time baby. You've been with me 8 years, 6 months, and 13 days since Jared brought you home and you became my cat. My baby. You were only about 2 months old according to the vet so I decided September 1st was your birthday.
Tomorrow we have to part ways. I see that you haven't been feeling well for a little while now. Today really proved that. It was raining, and you didn't even want to go outside. That's not like you Oliver. You love going outside, even in the rain. You're a cat that loves water.
You barely ate today, mostly eating the chicken I brought to you. You spent the day sleeping behind the closet door. I made sure to put your blanket down in there so it was extra soft and comfy.
We spent time together in that cramped little closet today. I've apologized a million times for all the moments I lost my cool with you not because you escaped, yet again, but just because I was frustrated and yelled at you. You didn't deserve that, and I can never take it back. The apologies will never be enough.
We talked about the good times. The time I woke up in the middle of the night sandwiched between you and Bella. My orange boy snuggled up on side, and my pittie, like a block of concrete on the other. Neither one of you budged when I wiggled my way out from under the covers to go pee, or wiggled my way back in. Or the times you climbed the big arborvitae tree in the backyard and made your way onto the garage roof. Or you just climbed up as far as you could go and needed me to come up and get you. You laying on my shoulders when we went to the pet store. The millions of times you came to greet me at the door and launched yourself up into my arms or climbed onto my shoulders from on top of the fridge.
My two favorites being 1) the couple of times you slept under the covers with me. And 2) the time I tried to make you sit with me and watch Oliver and Company. The movie I named you after. You didn't go for it, so I watched it alone.
There's so many more memories that I'll forever cherish. The snuggles, the baths, chasing you around the neighborhood.
Time has flown, and yet it was never enough. You're just snoozing away in the cat climber right now, and tomorrow night when I look up, you won't be there. Not physically anyway. I feel the immense pain of having to lose you. It feels like every fiber of my being is being ripped to shreds. This is worse than childbirth.
It hurts to know Caleb will never really know you. There's a few pictures, and you've let him touch you a couple times. You've even snuggled his head a few times in the nights... after trying to play with and nibble on it. I love him, but I feel horribly guilty that these past 5 months I haven't been able to give you the same amount of love and attention as I used to. Going outside as often as we once did hasn't been easy since moving into the apartment and especially after the baby.
You were never a placeholder. You are now, always have been, and forever will be my first baby Oliver.
Oliver, Ollie, Ol, Pookie, Pooks, Fluffernutter, Fluff, Chonk, Chonker. Fluffernut. Nutter butter. The cat I swear I should have named Dennis the Menace. My orange boy.
I don't want you to go. I don't know how to do this without you. I don't WANT to do it without you. But I promised you I'd always protect you. I'd never let anything happen to you; that Momma's got you. And the truth is, if I let things go the way they've been, I'll have broken that promise. And I'll have been the one who hurt you because I was too selfish to let you go with dignity. I can't do that to you. I won't.
So in the morning, we'll go outside for the sunrise if you're up for it. We'll have some yogurt together. I'll hold you close. And when our time is at the close, I'll be right beside you. In the comfort of our own home. Together, with daddy and Caleb, and Kitty nearby. I'll be with you until the end. Always.
I love you Pooks. More than anything. Thank you for our time together. Come find me again.