title. 20F, and i honestly don't think i ever formed a healthy self-image. i attended a K-12 school with a small student population and a severe endemic bullying problem so the same 15 individuals i met as a toddler were the classmates alongside whom i graduated high school. my school was actually known throughout the surrounding area for having a bullying issue and i got dealt a pretty bad hand in those terms. bullying and social exclusion followed me from kindergarten all the way up to high school. my only friends were my cousins up until sixth grade. i know this by itself doesn't sound all that bad but feeling like an alien and an outsider as a six-year-old girl messes you up. i wasn't a "quiet" or "weird" kid or anything like that- just literally a normal young girl- but a lot of the other kids in my grade just came in with these vicious, catty personalities which didn't mesh well with the sunshiney, always-assuming-the-best-in-people attitude i had as a young child. my parents were also working class and i didn't always have the trendiest items/wasn't "hip" to what was popular and that certainly didn't help. i never really formed any sort of self-image during those formative childhood years because all that time was just spent feeling awful about myself and trying to figure out what i had to do to earn acceptance. my most formative memory is just spending years and years trying to figure out why i couldn't be accepted by the other kids in my grade and trying absolutely everything to no avail. additionally, i wasn't exactly able to build a strong self-image at home because my father was largely emotionally absent and hypercritical. (he was never abusive in the slightest, but was just very rigid, not emotionally involved, would criticize every single thing etc). i internalized a lot of those criticisms and still have an incredibly overactive hypercritical voice. then when i was 11 i got involved with an excessively-competitive intensive sport which involved adult male coaches who (as i now recognize) were incredibly abusive. think those eastern european gymnastics coaches in the 50s. i was training 30-35 hours a week by the time i was 13 and my life resembled an Olympic training regimen. because i already was so incredibly weak in self-esteem i internalized and accepted all of the abuse from the coaches while other children told their parents and were removed from the environment. i felt like this sport was a place where i could be competitive, included and treated like a mature adult- a break from the constant exclusion i was experiencing from my peers at school. i couldn't figure out how to quit because the coaches' validation (which was few and far between) had become the only thing remotely resembling a self-image i had. i couldn't relate to any of my peers or the few friends i did have because i didn't have a normal teenage life where i could go to the mall or hang out with friends; all of my waking moments involved crippling anxiety due to these adult men who i spent the majority of my time around. they screamed at, insulted, threw things at, and took delight in physically hurting the young children involved in the sport. i felt like i didn't own or control my life and i had a sense of being completely isolated because i didn't know how to get out of or even define the situation. i finally left at 15 (in the middle of my freshman year of high school) and within a month of leaving developed some sort of mental health/trauma response (which i am still unable to identify because i never got any sort of psychological help due to being afraid of seeming "weak"). i started having regular anxiety attacks (something which i had never experienced before), throwing up daily, having nightmares and losing my hair. growing up although i was always insecure i had never dealt with any mental health issues and i am neurotypical so this was all absolutely new for me. the fact that this was something i had never felt before all arising so abruptly at once- seemingly overnight- made the experience scary and unfamiliar, and i felt like i was losing my control of my mind and body at 15, right when teens are meant to be naturally growing into and forming healthy relationships with their bodies. it was around this time when the usual teenage drama of high school really took off and due to the mental health issues i had begun to experience i found myself involved in typical teen drama which led to me losing my entire friend group multiple times over. my high school years were full of painful drama, friendship breakups and a plethora of unhealthy actions which i now recognize as desperate efforts to regain some sort of sense of control over my life and self-image. i got rejected from my dream ivy league university which i had wanted to attend since i was a child (the university where my father works) because my grades had dropped after my experience in the sport- not a lot, but just enough to remove me from the ivy league range. i enrolled in my state university and entered my first relationship which swiftly ended due to my baggage from childhood/the fact that my insecurities made me unable to accept the fact that someone genuinely liked me. i got my life together (in some sense) in college and now am an honors program + dean's list student on a pre-law track, set to graduate with phi beta kappa and magna cum laude distinctions as well as a near-perfect gpa and membership in a national honors society for my area of study. i still have absolutely zero self-esteem or even any idea of what it feels like to have a healthy relationship with myself. my opinion of myself (physical appearance, personality etc) is so negative and distorted that i have absolutely no idea what i look like or how people perceive me. i have been told that i am attractive but i honest-to-God just don't know. i criticize myself brutally for every decision i make and i can't go a day without comparing myself to other people. nobody knows that my self-esteem is so awful because i seem on the surface to "have it all together". i don't want to go to therapy or counseling because i feel like my parents would see me as weak or incompetent and even if they didn't i know that i would see myself that way. the mental health issues i dealt with in my teen years are (for the majority) gone now but only because i've had to develop my own coping mechanisms (some healthy, others not so much) and most of it has just come down to toughing it out and pushing it all down inside. i have this weird overachiever complex where i purposefully will put myself in painful/uncomfortable/excessively difficult situations in order to "prove" that i can overcome them and feel like i'm proud of myself/have accomplished something, if that makes sense. i'll stay awake 72 hours consecutively studying for an exam and skip meals just to score the highest in the class on zero hours of sleep and an empty stomach and the more uncomfortable/unpleasant it is the better i end up feeling because it seems like i've accomplished something/like i'm being "disciplined". everyone just thinks that i'm an overachievereally good student and so i feel like if i actually did tell someone about how bad i feel on a daily basis i'd be dismissed with "but you have it all together!!" etc etc. idk how to fix this or if it even can be fixed but i would appreciate some sort of advice. i want to be able to just enjoy my life.

https://discord.gg/ygh87phpwx Trials available
Screwdatt, [5/18/2024 9:34 AM]
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Screwdatt, [5/18/2024 9:34 AM]
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PPV UFC 00: PRELIMS : Barboza vs Murphy 8:00 PM ET
PPV UFC 01: UFC FIGHT NIGHT: Barboza vs Murphy 8:00 PM ET
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Screwdatt, [5/18/2024 9:34 AM]
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PPV LIVE EVENT 01 - 4/7PM UFC Fight Night Barboza v Murphy
PPV LIVE EVENT 02 - 10AM/12PM Fury v Usyk
PPV LIVE EVENT 03 - (SD) Fury v Usyk
PPV LIVE EVENT 04 - 10AM UAE Warriors 50
PPV LIVE EVENT 05 - 12PM ADCC Phoenix Open
PPV LIVE EVENT 06 - 12:30/2PM Glory 92
PPV LIVE EVENT 07 - 2:50PM Petrosyan v Sanchez
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PPV LIVE EVENT 13 - 12PM Superbikes MotoAmerica Barber
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PPV LIVE EVENT 15 - 5:30PM Clyde Martin Memorial Sprints
Screwdatt, [5/18/2024 9:34 AM]
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PPV LIVE EVENT 17 - 6PM Weekly Racing Port Royal
PPV LIVE EVENT 18 - 6:15PM World of Outlaws Late Models
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PPV LIVE EVENT 23 - 7:30PM USAC Huncovsky Classic Belleville
PPV LIVE EVENT 24 - 7:30PM ARCA East Flat Rock
PPV LIVE EVENT 25 - 8PM USCS Sprint Cars Bakersfield
Screwdatt, [5/18/2024 9:34 AM]
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PPV FA PLAYER 05 : Bristol City vs Everton // UK Sat 18 May 3:00pm // ET Sat 18 May 10:00am
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Screwdatt, [5/18/2024 9:34 AM]
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PPV MOLA EVENT 01 : LPGA - Mizuho Americas Open - Round 3 start:2024-05-18 19:50:00 stop:2024-05-19 01:10:00
PPV MOLA EVENT 02 : Road to UFC Season 3 : Episode 1 & 2 start:2024-05-18 11:00:00 stop:2024-05-18 18:10:00
PPV MOLA EVENT 02 : UFC Fight Night: Barboza vs Murphy start:2024-05-18 20:50:00 stop:2024-05-19 07:10:00
PPV MOLA EVENT 03 : 2024 Stanley Cup Playoffs - Round 2 Game 6 : Vancouver Canucks at Edmonton Oilers start:2024-05-19 01:00:00 stop:2024-05-19 06:00:00
Screwdatt, [5/18/2024 9:34 AM]
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PPV FLO RUGBY 00 : 2024 Western Force vs NSW Waratahs start:2024-05-18 10:30:00 stop:2024-05-18 14:30:00
PPV FLO RUGBY 00 : 2024 Ospreys vs Dragons start:2024-05-18 15:00:00 stop:2024-05-18 19:00:00
PPV FLO RUGBY 00 : 2024 Ulster Rugby vs Leinster Rugby start:2024-05-18 19:35:00 stop:2024-05-18 23:35:00
PPV FLO RUGBY 01 : 2024 Blues vs Highlanders start:2024-05-18 08:00:00 stop:2024-05-18 12:00:00
PPV FLO RUGBY 01 : 2024 Vodacom Bulls vs Benetton Rugby start:2024-05-18 13:00:00 stop:2024-05-18 17:00:00
PPV FLO RUGBY 01 : 2024 Connacht Rugby vs DHL Stormers start:2024-05-18 17:05:00 stop:2024-05-18 21:05:00
Screwdatt, [5/18/2024 9:34 AM]
PPV FLO RUGBY 02 : 2024 Montpellier Herault Rugby vs Stade Toulousain start:2024-05-18 14:00:00 stop:2024-05-18 18:00:00
PPV FLO RUGBY 02 : 2024 Stade Rochelais vs Section Paloise start:2024-05-18 20:05:00 stop:2024-05-19 00:05:00
PPV FLO RUGBY 03 : 2024 Emirates Lions vs Glasgow Warriors start:2024-05-18 15:05:00 stop:2024-05-18 19:05:00
PPV FLO RUGBY 04 : 2024 Lyon OU vs Racing 92 start:2024-05-18 16:00:00 stop:2024-05-18 20:00:00
PPV FLO RUGBY 05 : 2024 ASM Clermont Auvergne vs Castres Olympique start:2024-05-18 16:00:00 stop:2024-05-18 20:00:00
PPV FLO RUGBY 06 : 2024 Aviron Bayonnais vs Perpignan start:2024-05-18 16:00:00 stop:2024-05-18 20:00:00
PPV FLO RUGBY 07 : 2024 Oyonnax Rugby vs RC Toulonnais start:2024-05-18 16:00:00 stop:2024-05-18 20:00:00
Screwdatt, [5/18/2024 9:34 AM]
=== PPV SETANTA PACK ===
PPV SETANTA EVENT 01 : Borussia Dortmund - Darmstadt start:2024-05-18 14:25:00 stop:2024-05-18 16:30:00
PPV SETANTA EVENT 01 : UFC Fight Night: Barboza vs. Murphy - Main Card start:2024-05-18 23:55:00 stop:2024-05-19 03:00:00
PPV SETANTA EVENT 01 : Sassuolo - Cagliari start:2024-05-19 11:25:00 stop:2024-05-19 13:30:00
PPV SETANTA EVENT 01 : Monza - Frosinone start:2024-05-19 13:55:00 stop:2024-05-19 16:00:00
PPV SETANTA EVENT 02 : Union Berlin - Freiburg start:2024-05-18 14:25:00 stop:2024-05-18 16:30:00
PPV SETANTA EVENT 02 : Dallas Mavericks - Oklahoma City Thunder start:2024-05-19 00:55:00 stop:2024-05-19 03:00:00
PPV SETANTA EVENT 02 : Cerlce Brugge - Royale Union SG start:2024-05-19 12:25:00 stop:2024-05-19 14:30:00
PPV SETANTA EVENT 02 : Brentford - Newcastle start:2024-05-19 15:55:00 stop:2024-05-19 18:00:00
Screwdatt, [5/18/2024 9:34 AM]
PPV SETANTA EVENT 03 : Hoffenheim - Bayern Munich start:2024-05-18 14:25:00 stop:2024-05-18 16:30:00
PPV SETANTA EVENT 03 : Crawley - Crewe start:2024-05-19 12:55:00 stop:2024-05-19 15:00:00
PPV SETANTA EVENT 03 : Brighton - Manchester United start:2024-05-19 15:55:00 stop:2024-05-19 18:00:00
PPV SETANTA EVENT 04 : Bayer Leverkusen - Augsburg start:2024-05-18 14:25:00 stop:2024-05-18 16:30:00
PPV SETANTA EVENT 04 : Udinese - Empoli start:2024-05-19 13:55:00 stop:2024-05-19 16:00:00
PPV SETANTA EVENT 05 : Eintracht Frankfurt - RB Leipzig start:2024-05-18 14:25:00 stop:2024-05-18 16:30:00
PPV SETANTA EVENT 05 : Emilia Romagna Grand Prix - Race start:2024-05-19 13:55:00 stop:2024-05-19 16:00:00
PPV SETANTA EVENT 06 : Wolfsburg - Mainz start:2024-05-18 14:25:00 stop:2024-05-18 16:30:00
PPV SETANTA EVENT 06 : Arsenal - Everton start:2024-05-19 15:55:00 stop:2024-05-19 18:00:00
PPV SETANTA EVENT 07 : Stuttgart - Borussia Monchengladbach start:2024-05-18 14:25:00 stop:2024-05-18 16:30:00
PPV SETANTA EVENT 07 : Burnley - Nottingham start:2024-05-19 15:55:00 stop:2024-05-19 18:00:00
PPV SETANTA EVENT 08 : Heidenheim - FC Koln start:2024-05-18 14:25:00 stop:2024-05-18 16:30:00
PPV SETANTA EVENT 09 : Multiview start:2024-05-18 14:25:00 stop:2024-05-18 16:30:00
PPV SETANTA EVENT 10 : Werder Bremen - Bochum start:2024-05-18 14:25:00 stop:2024-05-18 16:30:00
Screwdatt, [5/18/2024 9:34 AM]
=== PPV FLO SPORTS PACK ===
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 00 : FloWrestling Radio Live start:2024-05-19 17:00:00 stop:2024-05-19 21:00:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 01 : 2024 Giro dItalia start:2024-05-18 13:30:00 stop:2024-05-18 17:30:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 01 : 2024 FHSAA Outdoor Championships start:2024-05-18 22:00:00 stop:2024-05-19 02:00:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 01 : 2024 USA Cycling Pro Road National Championships start:2024-05-19 13:45:00 stop:2024-05-19 17:45:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 02 : FloRacing 24/7 start:2024-05-12 10:00:00 stop:2024-11-10 06:59:59
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 03 : 2024 4 Jours de Dunkerque start:2024-05-18 14:45:00 stop:2024-05-18 18:45:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 03 : 2024 NMAA Outdoor Championships 4A-5A start:2024-05-18 21:00:00 stop:2024-05-19 01:00:00
Screwdatt, [5/18/2024 9:34 AM]
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 03 : 2024 USAC Huncovsky Classic at Belleville High Banks start:2024-05-19 01:30:00 stop:2024-05-19 05:30:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 03 : 2024 Continental Tour: Tokyo - Seiko Golden Grand Prix start:2024-05-19 07:45:00 stop:2024-05-19 11:45:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 03 : 2024 UCI MTB Bielsko Bialia Poland start:2024-05-19 12:45:00 stop:2024-05-19 16:45:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 04 : 2024 Vuelta a Burgos Féminas start:2024-05-18 14:05:00 stop:2024-05-18 18:05:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 04 : 2024 OSAA Outdoor Championships start:2024-05-18 18:30:00 stop:2024-05-18 22:30:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 04 : 2024 New England Knockouts vs Trois-Rivieres Aigles start:2024-05-18 23:00:00 stop:2024-05-19 03:00:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 04 : 2024 Nutley vs NJ Aces start:2024-05-19 03:15:00 stop:2024-05-19 07:15:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 04 : 2024 UCI MTB Eliminator World Cup in Palangkaraya start:2024-05-19 11:00:00 stop:2024-05-19 15:00:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 05 : 2024 CHSAA Outdoor Championships start:2024-05-18 16:30:00 stop:2024-05-18 20:30:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 05 : 2024 Ulster Rugby vs Leinster Rugby start:2024-05-18 20:35:00 stop:2024-05-19 00:35:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 05 : 2024 IRA Sprints at Plymouth Dirt Track start:2024-05-19 00:45:00 stop:2024-05-19 04:45:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 06 : 2024 IHSA Girls Outdoor Championships start:2024-05-18 17:00:00 stop:2024-05-18 21:00:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 06 : 2024 Stade Rochelais vs Section Paloise start:2024-05-18 21:05:00 stop:2024-05-19 01:05:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 06 : 2024 Kansas City Mavericks vs Toledo Walleye start:2024-05-19 01:15:00 stop:2024-05-19 05:15:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 07 : 2024 CAA Rowing Championship start:2024-05-18 15:30:00 stop:2024-05-18 19:30:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 07 : 2024 William & Mary vs Campbell start:2024-05-18 20:00:00 stop:2024-05-19 00:00:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 07 : 2024 New York Boulders vs New Jersey Jackals start:2024-05-19 00:05:00 stop:2024-05-19 04:05:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 08 : 2024 NCHSAA Outdoor Championships start:2024-05-18 16:00:00 stop:2024-05-18 20:00:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 08 : 2024 Tropics vs Highlands Black start:2024-05-18 20:15:00 stop:2024-05-19 00:15:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 08 : 2024 Fireworks Night at Eldora Speedway start:2024-05-19 00:30:00 stop:2024-05-19 04:30:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 09 : 2024 UCI BMX Racing World Championships start:2024-05-18 18:50:00 stop:2024-05-18 22:50:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 09 : 2024 Wayne (Peewee) vs Generals (Peewee) start:2024-05-18 23:00:00 stop:2024-05-19 03:00:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 09 : 2024 Penticton Vees vs Surrey Eagles start:2024-05-19 04:00:00 stop:2024-05-19 08:00:00
Screwdatt, [5/18/2024 9:34 AM]
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 10 : 2024 Blues vs Highlanders start:2024-05-18 09:00:00 stop:2024-05-18 13:00:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 10 : 2024 Vodacom Bulls vs Benetton Rugby start:2024-05-18 14:00:00 stop:2024-05-18 18:00:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 10 : 2024 Connacht Rugby vs DHL Stormers start:2024-05-18 18:05:00 stop:2024-05-18 22:05:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 10 : 2024 NASCAR Whelen Modified Tour at Riverhead Raceway start:2024-05-18 22:30:00 stop:2024-05-19 02:30:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 10 : 2024 Sherwood Park Crusaders vs Brooks Bandits start:2024-05-19 03:00:00 stop:2024-05-19 07:00:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 11 : 2024 Western Force vs NSW Waratahs start:2024-05-18 11:30:00 stop:2024-05-18 15:30:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 11 : 2024 Ospreys vs Dragons start:2024-05-18 16:00:00 stop:2024-05-18 20:00:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 11 : 2024 Wayne (Squirt) vs Ramsey (Squirt) start:2024-05-18 20:15:00 stop:2024-05-19 00:15:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 11 : 2024 Washington Wild Things vs Tri-City ValleyCats start:2024-05-19 00:30:00 stop:2024-05-19 04:30:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 12 : 2024 Frank E. Rader Southeast Regional Champs start:2024-05-18 14:00:00 stop:2024-05-18 18:00:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 12 : 2024 Sharks vs Cardiff start:2024-05-18 18:15:00 stop:2024-05-18 22:15:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 12 : 2024 NASCAR Weekly Racing at Jennerstown Speedway start:2024-05-18 23:50:00 stop:2024-05-19 03:50:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 13 : 2024 Veenendaal-Veenendaal start:2024-05-18 14:45:00 stop:2024-05-18 18:45:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 13 : 2024 Monmouth vs Hofstra start:2024-05-18 19:00:00 stop:2024-05-18 23:00:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 13 : 2024 Weekly Racing at Port Royal Speedway start:2024-05-19 00:00:00 stop:2024-05-19 04:00:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 14 : 2024 Montpellier Herault Rugby vs Stade Toulousain start:2024-05-18 15:00:00 stop:2024-05-18 19:00:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 14 : 2024 Saginaw Valley vs TBD - NCAA Baseball Midwest Regional start:2024-05-18 20:00:00 stop:2024-05-19 00:00:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 14 : 2024 Hockey Farm (MS) vs Generals White (MS) start:2024-05-19 00:30:00 stop:2024-05-19 04:30:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 15 : 2024 Central Regional Championships start:2024-05-18 15:00:00 stop:2024-05-18 19:00:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 15 : 2024 NASCAR Weekly Racing at Berlin Raceway start:2024-05-18 21:30:00 stop:2024-05-19 01:30:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 15 : 2024 Joliet Slammers vs Evansville Otters start:2024-05-19 01:35:00 stop:2024-05-19 05:35:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 16 : 2024 New Jersey Freestyle State Championship start:2024-05-18 15:00:00 stop:2024-05-18 19:00:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 16 : 2024 TBD vs TBD - NCAA Baseball Southeast Regional start:2024-05-18 21:45:00 stop:2024-05-19 01:45:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 16 : 2024 NARC Sprints at Thunderbowl Raceway start:2024-05-19 02:00:00 stop:2024-05-19 06:00:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 17 : 2024 Villanova vs Xavier start:2024-05-18 16:00:00 stop:2024-05-18 20:00:00
Screwdatt, [5/18/2024 9:34 AM]
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 17 : 2024 Hockey Farm (Peewee) vs Paramus start:2024-05-18 21:45:00 stop:2024-05-19 01:45:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 17 : 2024 USCS Sprint Cars at Bakersfield Speedway start:2024-05-19 02:00:00 stop:2024-05-19 06:00:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 18 : 2024 Emirates Lions vs Glasgow Warriors start:2024-05-18 16:05:00 stop:2024-05-18 20:05:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 18 : 2024 Florence Yalls vs Schaumburg Boomers start:2024-05-18 22:00:00 stop:2024-05-19 02:00:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 18 : 2024 Fargo Force vs Dubuque Fighting Saints start:2024-05-19 02:05:00 stop:2024-05-19 06:05:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 19 : 2024 AMSOIL Off-Road Mayhem at the Motorplex start:2024-05-18 16:50:00 stop:2024-05-18 20:50:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 19 : 2024 Hockey Farm (Squirt) vs Marauders (Squirt) start:2024-05-18 22:00:00 stop:2024-05-19 02:00:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 19 : 2024 Bulldogs vs Hockey Farm (Varsity) start:2024-05-19 02:30:00 stop:2024-05-19 06:30:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 20 : 2024 Aviron Bayonnais vs Perpignan start:2024-05-18 17:00:00 stop:2024-05-18 21:00:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 20 : 2024 Staten Island FerryHawks vs Hagerstown Flying Boxcars start:2024-05-19 00:00:00 stop:2024-05-19 04:00:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 21 : 2024 ASM Clermont Auvergne vs Castres Olympique start:2024-05-18 17:00:00 stop:2024-05-18 21:00:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 21 : 2024 Weekly Racing at Utica-Rome Speedway start:2024-05-19 00:00:00 stop:2024-05-19 04:00:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 22 : 2024 Oyonnax Rugby vs RC Toulonnais start:2024-05-18 17:00:00 stop:2024-05-18 21:00:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 22 : 2024 Ottawa Titans vs Sussex County Miners start:2024-05-19 00:35:00 stop:2024-05-19 04:35:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 23 : 2024 Lyon OU vs Racing 92 start:2024-05-18 17:00:00 stop:2024-05-18 21:00:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 23 : 2024 Charleston Dirty Birds vs High Point Rockers start:2024-05-19 00:35:00 stop:2024-05-19 04:35:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 24 : 2024 ADCC Phoenix Open start:2024-05-18 17:00:00 stop:2024-05-18 21:00:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 24 : 2024 York Revolution vs Lancaster Stormers start:2024-05-19 00:45:00 stop:2024-05-19 04:45:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 25 : 2024 CA Assoc Duals start:2024-05-18 17:00:00 stop:2024-05-18 21:00:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 25 : 2024 MARS Late Models at Highland Speedway start:2024-05-19 01:00:00 stop:2024-05-19 05:00:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 26 : 2024 Ashland vs Northwood University - NCAA MW Regional start:2024-05-18 17:00:00 stop:2024-05-18 21:00:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 26 : 2024 NASCAR Weekly Racing at Langley Speedway start:2024-05-19 01:00:00 stop:2024-05-19 05:00:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 27 : 2024 Continental Tour: ORLEN Janusz Kusocinski Memorial start:2024-05-18 17:55:00 stop:2024-05-18 21:55:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 27 : 2024 American Flat Track at Silver Dollar Short Track start:2024-05-19 01:00:00 stop:2024-05-19 05:00:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 28 : 2024 Seton Hall vs Creighton start:2024-05-18 18:00:00 stop:2024-05-18 22:00:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 28 : 2024 Lexington Legends vs Gastonia Baseball Club start:2024-05-19 01:00:00 stop:2024-05-19 05:00:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 29 : 2024 PNL Duals at Werner Park start:2024-05-18 18:00:00 stop:2024-05-18 22:00:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 29 : 2024 Florida Everblades vs Adirondack Thunder start:2024-05-19 01:00:00 stop:2024-05-19 05:00:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 30 : 2024 Young Harris vs UNC Pembroke - NCAA SE Regional start:2024-05-18 18:00:00 stop:2024-05-18 22:00:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 30 : 2024 Quebec Capitales vs Lake Erie Crushers start:2024-05-19 01:05:00 stop:2024-05-19 05:05:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 31 : 2024 Highlands Black vs Hockey Farm (Squirt) start:2024-05-18 18:45:00 stop:2024-05-18 22:45:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 31 : 2024 Long Island Ducks vs Southern Maryland Blue Crabs start:2024-05-19 01:05:00 stop:2024-05-19 05:05:00
Screwdatt, [5/18/2024 9:34 AM]
=== AUSTRALIA STAN PACK ===
AU STAN SPORT AU EVENT 01 : Force v Waratahs - Super Rugby Pacific Round 13 2024 start:2024-05-18 10:00:04 stop:2024-05-18 12:53:24
AU STAN SPORT AU EVENT 01 : Bath v Northampton - Premiership Rugby Round 18 2023/24 start:2024-05-18 15:00:04 stop:2024-05-18 17:53:24
AU STAN SPORT AU EVENT 01 : New Zealand v Canada - Pacific Four Series 2024 start:2024-05-19 05:23:04 stop:2024-05-19 08:16:24
AU STAN SPORT AU EVENT 02 : Blues v Highlanders - Super Rugby Pacific Round 13 2024 start:2024-05-18 07:35:04 stop:2024-05-18 10:28:24
AU STAN SPORT AU EVENT 02 : Gloucester v Newcastle - Premiership Rugby Round 18 2023/24 start:2024-05-18 15:00:04 stop:2024-05-18 17:53:24
AU STAN SPORT AU EVENT 02 : Sprint Race 2: Misano - GT World Challenge Europe 2024 start:2024-05-18 19:30:08 stop:2024-05-18 22:23:28
AU STAN SPORT AU EVENT 03 : Harlequins v Bristol - Premiership Rugby Round 18 2023/24 start:2024-05-18 15:00:04 stop:2024-05-18 17:53:24
Screwdatt, [5/18/2024 9:34 AM]
AU STAN SPORT AU EVENT 04 : Leicester v Exeter - Premiership Rugby Round 18 2023/24 start:2024-05-18 15:00:04 stop:2024-05-18 17:53:24
AU STAN SPORT AU EVENT 05 : Saracens v Sale - Premiership Rugby Round 18 2023/24 start:2024-05-18 15:00:04 stop:2024-05-18 17:53:24
AU STAN SPORT AU EVENT 06 : Sprint Race 1: Misano - GT World Challenge Europe 2024 start:2024-05-18 12:30:08 stop:2024-05-18 15:23:28
AU STAN SPORT AU EVENT 06 : Qualifying 1: Indianapolis 500 - INDYCAR 2024 start:2024-05-18 16:00:08 stop:2024-05-18 18:53:28
Screwdatt, [5/18/2024 9:34 AM]
=== UK-AUSTRALIA OPTUS PACK ===
UK-AU OPTUS 01 : Aston Villa v Manchester City start:2024-05-18 14:40:00 stop:2024-05-18 17:20:00
UK-AU OPTUS 02 : Manchester United v Chelsea start:2024-05-18 14:40:00 stop:2024-05-18 17:20:00
UK-AU OPTUS 02 : Deportivo Alaves v Getafe start:2024-05-18 19:20:00 stop:2024-05-18 22:20:00
Screwdatt, [5/18/2024 9:34 AM]
=== UK Amazon PACK ===
UK Amazon UK 00 : Australia Championship Supercars-Perth: Race 9 start:2024-05-18 08:40:00 stop:2024-05-18 12:40:00
UK Amazon UK 00 : British Superbike Championship Motor Cycling-Donington Park: Day 1 start:2024-05-18 12:55:00 stop:2024-05-18 16:55:00
UK Amazon UK 01 : Australian Rules Football-Brisbane Lions v Richmond Tigers start:2024-05-18 10:10:00 stop:2024-05-18 14:10:00
UK Amazon UK 01 : Premiership Rugby-Harlequins v Bristol Bears start:2024-05-18 14:25:00 stop:2024-05-18 18:25:00
UK Amazon UK 02 : Wellington Phoenix FC vs. Melbourne Victory FC start:2024-05-18 07:25:00 stop:2024-05-18 11:25:00
UK Amazon UK 02 : Giro d'Italia Stage 14 Men Castiglione delle Stiviere - Desenzano del Garda (ITT, 31.2km) start:2024-05-18 11:55:00 stop:2024-05-18 15:55:00
UK Amazon UK 02 : Lecce vs. Atalanta BC start:2024-05-18 16:55:00 stop:2024-05-18 20:55:00
Screwdatt, [5/18/2024 9:34 AM]
UK Amazon UK 03 : Australian Rules Football-Greater Western Sydney Giants v Western Bulldogs start:2024-05-18 07:25:00 stop:2024-05-18 11:25:00
UK Amazon UK 03 : BSB Round 3 Donington Park Day 1 start:2024-05-18 12:30:00 stop:2024-05-18 16:30:00
UK Amazon UK 04 : Australian Rules Football-St. Kilda Saints v Fremantle Dockers start:2024-05-18 10:25:00 stop:2024-05-18 14:25:00
UK Amazon UK 04 : Premiership Rugby-Gloucester v Newcastle Falcons start:2024-05-18 14:45:00 stop:2024-05-18 18:45:00
UK Amazon UK 05 : Central Coast Mariners FC vs. Sydney FC start:2024-05-18 10:40:00 stop:2024-05-18 14:40:00
UK Amazon UK 05 : Premiership Rugby-Bath v Northampton Saints start:2024-05-18 14:45:00 stop:2024-05-18 18:45:00
UK Amazon UK 06 : Tour of Burgos Stage 3 Women Roa de Duero – Melgar de Ferntal (122km) start:2024-05-18 13:25:00 stop:2024-05-18 17:25:00
UK Amazon UK 07 : Olympic Qualifying Debrecen Day 3 start:2024-05-18 13:33:00 stop:2024-05-18 17:33:00
UK Amazon UK 08 : Premiership Rugby-Saracens v Sale Sharks start:2024-05-18 14:25:00 stop:2024-05-18 18:25:00
UK Amazon UK 09 : Premiership Rugby-Leicester Tigers v Exeter Chiefs start:2024-05-18 14:45:00 stop:2024-05-18 18:45:00
Screwdatt, [5/18/2024 9:34 AM]
=== UK DAZN PACK ===
UK DAZN UK 02 Rws sajad vs. Mcvicker 18th 1:43pm/Petrosyanmania 1 18th 7:48pm/Las vegas silver stars vs. Seattle majestics 19th 1:58am/Pomigliano vs. Napoli 19th 11:28am
UK DAZN UK 03 Sassuolo vs. Juventus 18th 1:58pm/Atlanta phoenix vs. Washington prodigy 18th 10:58pm/Qatar airways ironman 70.3 chattanooga 19th 11:28am
UK DAZN UK 04 Ring of fire fury vs. Usyk buy now // UK Sat 18 May 2:58pm // ET Sat 18 May 9:58am
UK DAZN UK 05 Ring of fire fury vs. Usyk prelims // UK Sat 18 May 2:58pm // ET Sat 18 May 9:58am
UK DAZN UK 06 Al ahli vs. Abha // UK Sat 18 May 6:58pm // ET Sat 18 May 1:58pm
Screwdatt, [5/18/2024 9:34 AM]
=== UK NRL PACK ===
UK NRL LIVE 00 : Cronulla vs Sydney Roosters // UK Sat 18 May 8:28am // ET Sat 18 May 3:28am
UK NRL LIVE 01: Warriors vs Penrith // UK Sun 19 May 4:48am // ET Sat 18 May 11:48pm
UK NRL LIVE 02: Wests Tigers vs Dolphins // UK Sun 19 May 9:23am // ET Sun 19 May 4:23am
UK NRL LIVE 03: South Sydney vs North Queensland // UK Sat 18 May 10:43am // ET Sat 18 May 5:43am
UK NRL LIVE 04: Melbourne vs Parramatta // UK Sun 19 May 7:03am // ET Sun 19 May 2:03am
Screwdatt, [5/18/2024 9:34 AM]
=== UK RUGBY PACK ===
UK RUGBY LIVE 01: Bath vs Northampton 15.05
UK RUGBY LIVE 02: Gloucester vs Newcastle 15.05
UK RUGBY LIVE 03: Harlequins vs Bristol 15.05
UK RUGBY LIVE 04: Leicester vs Exeter 15.05
UK RUGBY LIVE 05: Saracens vs Sale 15.05
Screwdatt, [5/18/2024 9:34 AM]
=== UK SPFL PACK ===
UK SPFL 01: Inverness CT v Hamilton Academical 17.30
Screwdatt, [5/18/2024 9:34 AM]
=== UK VIA PLAY PACK ===
UK VIA PLAY 01 24/7 Channel Stream Viaplay sports 2 watch now // UK Sat 18 May 8:00am ET Sat 18 May 3:00am
UK VIA PLAY 01 24/7 Channel Stream Viaplay sports 2 watch now // UK Sat 18 May 4:00pm ET Sat 18 May 11:00am
UK VIA PLAY 01 24/7 Channel Stream Viaplay sports 2 watch now // UK Sun 19 May 12:00am ET Sat 18 May 7:00pm
UK VIA PLAY 01 24/7 Channel Stream Viaplay sports 2 watch now // UK Sun 19 May 8:00am ET Sun 19 May 3:00am
UK VIA PLAY 02 24/7 Channel Stream Viaplay sports 1 watch now // UK Sat 18 May 8:00am ET Sat 18 May 3:00am
UK VIA PLAY 02 United Rugby Championship Bulls benetton // UK Sat 18 May 12:55pm ET Sat 18 May 7:55am
UK VIA PLAY 02 United Rugby Championship Connacht stomers // UK Sat 18 May 5:00pm ET Sat 18 May 12:00pm
Screwdatt, [5/18/2024 9:34 AM]
UK VIA PLAY 02 NHL Nhl tonight // UK Sat 18 May 11:00pm ET Sat 18 May 6:00pm
UK VIA PLAY 02 24/7 Channel Stream Viaplay sports 1 watch now // UK Sun 19 May 12:00am ET Sat 18 May 7:00pm
UK VIA PLAY 02 24/7 Channel Stream Viaplay sports 1 watch now // UK Sun 19 May 8:00am ET Sun 19 May 3:00am
UK VIA PLAY 03 United Rugby Championship Lions glasgow warriors // UK Sat 18 May 2:30pm ET Sat 18 May 9:30am
UK VIA PLAY 03 Nascar Wright band 250 // UK Sat 18 May 6:00pm ET Sat 18 May 1:00pm
UK VIA PLAY 03 NHL Edmonton vancouver // UK Sun 19 May 1:05am ET Sat 18 May 8:05pm
UK VIA PLAY 04 United Rugby Championship Ospreys dragons // UK Sat 18 May 2:30pm ET Sat 18 May 9:30am
UK VIA PLAY 04 Ice Hockey World Championship Czech republic great britain // UK Sat 18 May 7:15pm ET Sat 18 May 2:15pm
UK VIA PLAY 05 Ice Hockey World Championship Canada finland // UK Sat 18 May 3:15pm ET Sat 18 May 10:15am
UK VIA PLAY 05 United Rugby Championship Ulster leinster // UK Sat 18 May 7:15pm ET Sat 18 May 2:15pm
UK VIA PLAY 06 United Rugby Championship Sharks cardiff rugby // UK Sat 18 May 5:10pm ET Sat 18 May 12:10pm
Screwdatt, [5/18/2024 9:34 AM]
=== IRELAND CLUBBER PACK ===
IE CLUBBER TV 01 Laois vs Down // UK Sat 18 May 3:00pm // ET Sat 18 May 10:00am
Screwdatt, [5/18/2024 9:34 AM]
=== IRELAND GAAGO PACK ===
IE GAAGO FIXTURES 00: Kerry vs Monaghan // UK Sat 18 May 2:15pm // ET Sat 18 May 9:15am
IE GAAGO FIXTURES 01: Dublin vs Kilkenny // UK Sat 18 May 5:30pm // ET Sat 18 May 12:30pm
IE GAAGO FIXTURES 02: TBA vs TBA // UK Sat 18 May 9:05pm // ET Sat 18 May 4:05pm
IE GAAGO FIXTURES 03: Galway vs Derry // UK Sat 18 May 4:45pm // ET Sat 18 May 11:45am
Screwdatt, [5/18/2024 9:34 AM]
=== IRELAND LOI PACK ===
IE LOI TV 01 : DLR Waves FC vs Treaty United FC (W) // UK Sat 18 May 3:00pm // ET Sat 18 May 10:00am
IE LOI TV 02 : Wexford FC (W) vs Shelbourne FC (W) // UK Sat 18 May 6:00pm // ET Sat 18 May 1:00pm
IE LOI TV 03 : Peamount United FC vs Bohemian FC (W) // UK Sat 18 May 4:00pm // ET Sat 18 May 11:00am
IE LOI TV 04 : Longford Town FC vs Athlone Town AFC // UK Sat 18 May 7:30pm // ET Sat 18 May 2:30pm
IE LOI TV 05 : Cork City FC (W) vs Cliftonville FC // UK Sat 18 May 4:00pm // ET Sat 18 May 11:00am
IE LOI TV 06 : Galway United FC (W) vs Athlone Town AFC (W) // UK Sat 18 May 5:00pm // ET Sat 18 May 12:00pm
Screwdatt, [5/18/2024 9:34 AM]
=== CANADA DAZN PACK ===
CA DAZN CA 13 Rws sajad vs mcvicker 18th 8:45am/Petrosyanmania 1 18th 2:50pm
CA DAZN CA 14 Sassuolo vs juventus 18th 9:00am/Atlanta phoenix vs washington prodigy 18th 6:00pm
CA DAZN CA 15 Dortmund vs darmstadt // UK Sat 18 May 2:30pm // ET Sat 18 May 9:30am
CA DAZN CA 16 Frankfurt vs leipzig // UK Sat 18 May 2:30pm // ET Sat 18 May 9:30am
CA DAZN CA 17 Hoffenheim vs bayern munich // UK Sat 18 May 2:30pm // ET Sat 18 May 9:30am
CA DAZN CA 18 Bundesliga goal arena // UK Sat 18 May 2:30pm // ET Sat 18 May 9:30am
CA DAZN CA 19 Union berlin vs freiburg // UK Sat 18 May 2:30pm // ET Sat 18 May 9:30am
CA DAZN CA 20 Leverkusen vs augsburg // UK Sat 18 May 2:30pm // ET Sat 18 May 9:30am
Screwdatt, [5/18/2024 9:34 AM]
CA DAZN CA 21 Wolfsburg vs mainz // UK Sat 18 May 2:30pm // ET Sat 18 May 9:30am
CA DAZN CA 22 Ring of fire fury vs usyk buy now // UK Sat 18 May 3:00pm // ET Sat 18 May 10:00am
CA DAZN CA 23 Ring of fire fury vs usyk prelims // UK Sat 18 May 3:00pm // ET Sat 18 May 10:00am
CA DAZN CA 24 Rome open final // UK Sat 18 May 4:00pm // ET Sat 18 May 11:00am
CA DAZN CA 25 Bolton vs oxford // UK Sat 18 May 4:15pm // ET Sat 18 May 11:15am
CA DAZN CA 26 Al ahli vs abha // UK Sat 18 May 7:00pm // ET Sat 18 May 2:00pm
Screwdatt, [5/18/2024 9:34 AM]
=== USA TRILLER PACK ===
US TRILLER TV 01 Newcastle Pro Wrestling #112 Fight Knight // UK Sat 18 May 11:00am // ET Sat 18 May 6:00am
US TRILLER TV 02 Memphis Wrestling Episode 169 Buff Returns to the Ring // UK Sat 18 May 5:00pm // ET Sat 18 May 12:00pm
US TRILLER TV 03 Glory 92 Donovan Wisse vs Ulric Bokeme // UK Sat 18 May 7:00pm // ET Sat 18 May 2:00pm
US TRILLER TV 04 Glory 92 Prelims // UK Sat 18 May 5:30pm // ET Sat 18 May 12:30pm
US TRILLER TV 05 GCW Most Notorious 2024 // UK Sun 19 May 1:00am // ET Sat 18 May 8:00pm
Screwdatt, [5/18/2024 9:34 AM]
US TRILLER TV 06 Liga Portugal Betclic 2023/24 Sporting CP vs GD Chaves // UK Sat 18 May 5:50pm // ET Sat 18 May 12:50pm
US TRILLER TV 07 AEW Collision Episode 1724 // UK Sun 19 May 1:00am // ET Sat 18 May 8:00pm
US TRILLER TV 08 Liga Portugal Betclic 2023/24 SC Braga vs FC Porto // UK Sat 18 May 8:20pm // ET Sat 18 May 3:20pm
US TRILLER TV 09 CZW Best of the Best XX // UK Sun 19 May 12:00am // ET Sat 18 May 7:00pm
US TRILLER TV 10 Centurion FC 20 // UK Sun 19 May 12:00am // ET Sat 18 May 7:00pm
Screwdatt, [5/18/2024 9:34 AM]
=== USA PEACOCK PACK ===
US PEACOCK 01 HORSE RACING 149th preakness stakes // UK Sat 18 May 6:30pm // ET Sat 18 May 12:30pm
US PEACOCK 03 INDYCAR Indy 500 practice 6 // UK Sat 18 May 1:30pm // ET Sat 18 May 7:30am
US PEACOCK 03 INDYCAR Indy 500 qualifying day 1 // UK Sat 18 May 4:00pm // ET Sat 18 May 10:00am
US PEACOCK 03 GYMNASTICS Core hydration classic // UK Sun 19 May 12:00am // ET Sat 18 May 6:00pm
US PEACOCK 03 SKATEBOARDING Womens park final // UK Sun 19 May 3:00am // ET Sat 18 May 9:00pm
US PEACOCK 03 SKATEBOARDING Mens street final // UK Sun 19 May 4:45am // ET Sat 18 May 10:45pm
US PEACOCK 03 SKATEBOARDING Mens park final // UK Sun 19 May 8:00am // ET Sun 19 May 2:00am
Screwdatt, [5/18/2024 9:34 AM]
US PEACOCK 03 BREAKING M&w breaking finals // UK Sun 19 May 10:30am // ET Sun 19 May 4:30am
US PEACOCK 04 CYCLING Bmx world champ finals // UK Sat 18 May 7:00pm // ET Sat 18 May 1:00pm
US PEACOCK 04 GOLF Live from the pga championsip // UK Sun 19 May 12:00am // ET Sat 18 May 6:00pm
US PEACOCK 04 SPORT CLIMBING Mens lead final // UK Sun 19 May 5:00am // ET Sat 18 May 11:00pm
US PEACOCK 04 SPORT CLIMBING Womens boulder final // UK Sun 19 May 8:00am // ET Sun 19 May 2:00am
US PEACOCK 05 TRACK & FIELD La grand prix // UK Sat 18 May 8:00pm // ET Sat 18 May 2:00pm
US PEACOCK 05 SPORT CLIMBING Mens boulder finals // UK Sun 19 May 2:45am // ET Sat 18 May 8:45pm
US PEACOCK 05 RUGBY New zealand v. Canada // UK Sun 19 May 5:35am // ET Sat 18 May 11:35pm
US PEACOCK 05 SKATEBOARDING Womens street final // UK Sun 19 May 9:30am // ET Sun 19 May 3:30am
US PEACOCK 06 GOLF Mizuho americas open rd. 3 // UK Sat 18 May 8:00pm // ET Sat 18 May 2:00pm
US PEACOCK 06 SPORT CLIMBING Womens lead final // UK Sun 19 May 10:30am // ET Sun 19 May 4:30am
Screwdatt, [5/18/2024 9:34 AM]
=== USA MLB PACK ===
US MLB LIVE 01: Chi. White Sox at NY Yankees 1:05 PM ET
US MLB LIVE 02: Pittsburgh at Chi. Cubs 2:20 PM ET
US MLB LIVE 03: Tampa Bay at Toronto 3:07 PM ET
US MLB LIVE 04: Seattle at Baltimore 4:05 PM ET
US MLB LIVE 05: Colorado at San Francisco 4:05 PM ET
US MLB LIVE 06: NY Mets at Miami 4:10 PM ET
US MLB LIVE 07: Washington at Philadelphia 6:05 PM ET
US MLB LIVE 08: Minnesota at Cleveland 6:10 PM ET
US MLB LIVE 09: Oakland at Kansas City 7:10 PM ET
US MLB LIVE 10: Milwuakee at Houston 7:10 PM ET
US MLB LIVE 11: Boston at St. Louis 7:15 PM ET
US MLB LIVE 12: LA Angels at Texas 7:15 PM ET
US MLB LIVE 13: San Diego at Atlanta 7:15 PM ET
US MLB LIVE 14: Detroit at Arizona 8:10 PM ET
US MLB LIVE 15: Cincinnati at LA Dodgers 9:10 PM ET
Screwdatt, [5/18/2024 9:34 AM]
=== USA NBA PACK ===
US NBA LIVE 01: West Semifinals Game 6: Oklahoma City at Dallas 8:30 PM ET
Screwdatt, [5/18/2024 9:34 AM]
=== USA NHL PACK ===
US NHL LIVE 01: West Semifinals Game 6: Vancouver at Edmonton 8:00 PM ET
Screwdatt, [5/18/2024 9:34 AM]
=== USA MLS PACK ===
US MLS LIVE 01: Nashville SC vs Atlanta United 1:45 PM ET
US MLS LIVE 02: Charlotte vs LA Galaxy 7:30 PM ET
US MLS LIVE 03: Cincinnati vs St. Louis City 7:30 PM ET
US MLS LIVE 04: Inter Miami vs DC United 7:30 PM ET
US MLS LIVE 05: New England vs Philadelphia Union 7:30 PM ET
US MLS LIVE 06: New York City vs New York RB 7:30 PM ET
US MLS LIVE 07: Toronto FC vs CF Montréal 7:30 PM ET
US MLS LIVE 08: Austin vs Sporting KC 8:30 PM ET
US MLS LIVE 09: Chicago Fire vs Columbus Crew 8:30 PM ET
US MLS LIVE 10: Houston Dynamo vs Dallas 8:30 PM ET
US MLS LIVE 11: Minnesota United vs Portland Timbers 8:30 PM ET
US MLS LIVE 12: Real Salt Lake vs Colorado Rapids 9:30 PM ET
US MLS LIVE 13: SJ Earthquakes vs Orlando City SC 10:30 PM ET
US MLS LIVE 14: Seattle Sounders FC vs Vancouver Whitecaps 10:30 PM ET
Screwdatt, [5/18/2024 9:34 AM]
=== USA WNBA PACK ===
US WNBA GAME 01 Indiana Fever @ New York Liberty start:2024-05-18 18:00:00 stop:2024-05-18 20:00:00
US WNBA GAME 02 Chicago Sky @ Dallas Wings start:2024-05-19 01:00:00 stop:2024-05-19 03:00:00
US WNBA GAME 03 Los Angeles Sparks @ Las Vegas Aces start:2024-05-18 20:00:00 stop:2024-05-18 22:00:00
US WNBA GAME 04 Atlanta Dream @ Phoenix Mercury start:2024-05-19 03:00:00 stop:2024-05-19 05:00:00
Screwdatt, [5/18/2024 9:34 AM]
=== USA MILB PACK ===
US MILB 01 Bowie Baysox vs Binghamton Rumble Ponies // UK Sat 18 May 6:05pm // ET Sat 18 May 1:05pm
US MILB 01 Greensboro Grasshoppers vs Hickory Crawdads // UK Sat 18 May 10:00pm // ET Sat 18 May 5:00pm
US MILB 01 Sugar Land Space Cowboys vs Albuquerque Isotopes // UK Sun 19 May 1:35am // ET Sat 18 May 8:35pm
US MILB 02 Omaha Storm Chasers vs St. Paul Saints // UK Sat 18 May 7:07pm // ET Sat 18 May 2:07pm
US MILB 02 St. Lucie Mets vs Palm Beach Cardinals // UK Sat 18 May 11:00pm // ET Sat 18 May 6:00pm
US MILB 02 Hillsboro Hops vs Tri-City Dust Devils // UK Sun 19 May 2:30am // ET Sat 18 May 9:30pm
Screwdatt, [5/18/2024 9:34 AM]
US MILB 03 Beloit Sky Carp vs Wisconsin Timber Rattlers // UK Sat 18 May 7:10pm // ET Sat 18 May 2:10pm
US MILB 03 Erie SeaWolves vs Harrisburg Senators // UK Sat 18 May 11:00pm // ET Sat 18 May 6:00pm
US MILB 03 Lake Elsinore Storm vs Visalia Rawhide // UK Sun 19 May 2:30am // ET Sat 18 May 9:30pm
US MILB 04 Omaha Storm Chasers vs St. Paul Saints // UK Sat 18 May 8:07pm // ET Sat 18 May 3:07pm
US MILB 04 Rocket City Trash Pandas vs Tennessee Smokies // UK Sun 19 May 12:00am // ET Sat 18 May 7:00pm
US MILB 05 Rome Emperors vs Asheville Tourists // UK Sat 18 May 9:00pm // ET Sat 18 May 4:00pm
US MILB 05 Chattanooga Lookouts vs Birmingham Barons // UK Sun 19 May 12:30am // ET Sat 18 May 7:30pm
US MILB 06 Rome Emperors vs Asheville Tourists // UK Sat 18 May 9:05pm // ET Sat 18 May 4:05pm
US MILB 06 Gwinnett Stripers vs Memphis Redbirds // UK Sun 19 May 12:35am // ET Sat 18 May 7:35pm
US MILB 07 Scranton/Wilkes-Barre RailRiders vs Worcester Red Sox // UK Sat 18 May 9:05pm // ET Sat 18 May 4:05pm
US MILB 07 Quad Cities River Bandits vs Cedar Rapids Kernels // UK Sun 19 May 12:35am // ET Sat 18 May 7:35pm
US MILB 08 Buffalo Bisons vs Rochester Red Wings // UK Sat 18 May 9:05pm // ET Sat 18 May 4:05pm
US MILB 08 Brooklyn Cyclones vs Bowling Green Hot Rods // UK Sun 19 May 12:35am // ET Sat 18 May 7:35pm
US MILB 09 Buffalo Bisons vs Rochester Red Wings // UK Sat 18 May 9:10pm // ET Sat 18 May 4:10pm
US MILB 09 Wichita Wind Surge vs Tulsa Drillers // UK Sun 19 May 1:00am // ET Sat 18 May 8:00pm
US MILB 10 Greensboro Grasshoppers vs Hickory Crawdads // UK Sat 18 May 10:05pm // ET Sat 18 May 5:05pm
US MILB 10 San Jose Giants vs Modesto Nuts // UK Sun 19 May 2:05am // ET Sat 18 May 9:05pm
US MILB 11 Carolina Mudcats vs Down East Wood Ducks // UK Sat 18 May 10:00pm // ET Sat 18 May 5:00pm
US MILB 11 Salt Lake Bees vs Tacoma Rainiers // UK Sun 19 May 2:05am // ET Sat 18 May 9:05pm
US MILB 12 Vancouver Canadians vs Spokane Indians // UK Sat 18 May 10:05pm // ET Sat 18 May 5:05pm
US MILB 12 Inland Empire 66ers vs Rancho Cucamonga Quakes // UK Sun 19 May 2:30am // ET Sat 18 May 9:30pm
US MILB 13 Jersey Shore BlueClaws vs Hudson Valley Renegades // UK Sat 18 May 10:05pm // ET Sat 18 May 5:05pm
US MILB 13 Oklahoma City Baseball Club vs Sacramento River Cats // UK Sun 19 May 2:37am // ET Sat 18 May 9:37pm
US MILB 14 Spokane Indians vs Vancouver Canadians // UK Sat 18 May 10:10pm // ET Sat 18 May 5:10pm
US MILB 14 Eugene Emeralds vs Everett AquaSox // UK Sun 19 May 3:05am // ET Sat 18 May 10:05pm
US MILB 15 Reno Aces vs Round Rock Express // UK Sat 18 May 10:30pm // ET Sat 18 May 5:30pm
Screwdatt, [5/18/2024 9:34 AM]
US MILB 15 Fresno Grizzlies vs Stockton Ports // UK Sun 19 May 3:05am // ET Sat 18 May 10:05pm
US MILB 16 Reno Aces vs Round Rock Express // UK Sat 18 May 10:35pm // ET Sat 18 May 5:35pm
US MILB 16 El Paso Chihuahuas vs Las Vegas Aviators // UK Sun 19 May 3:05am // ET Sat 18 May 10:05pm
US MILB 17 Fort Myers Mighty Mussels vs Lakeland Flying Tigers // UK Sat 18 May 11:00pm // ET Sat 18 May 6:00pm
US MILB 18 Salem Red Sox vs Augusta GreenJackets // UK Sat 18 May 11:05pm // ET Sat 18 May 6:05pm
US MILB 19 Aberdeen IronBirds vs Wilmington Blue Rocks // UK Sat 18 May 11:05pm // ET Sat 18 May 6:05pm
US MILB 20 Durham Bulls vs Charlotte Knights // UK Sat 18 May 11:05pm // ET Sat 18 May 6:05pm
US MILB 21 Fredericksburg Nationals vs Myrtle Beach Pelicans // UK Sat 18 May 11:05pm // ET Sat 18 May 6:05pm
US MILB 22 Portland Sea Dogs vs Somerset Patriots // UK Sat 18 May 11:05pm // ET Sat 18 May 6:05pm
US MILB 23 Reading Fightin Phils vs Richmond Flying Squirrels // UK Sat 18 May 11:05pm // ET Sat 18 May 6:05pm
US MILB 24 Charleston RiverDogs vs Columbia Fireflies // UK Sat 18 May 11:05pm // ET Sat 18 May 6:05pm
US MILB 25 New Hampshire Fisher Cats vs Hartford Yard Goats // UK Sat 18 May 11:10pm // ET Sat 18 May 6:10pm
US MILB 26 Jupiter Hammerheads vs Dunedin Blue Jays // UK Sat 18 May 11:30pm // ET Sat 18 May 6:30pm
US MILB 27 Delmarva Shorebirds vs Lynchburg Hillcats // UK Sat 18 May 11:30pm // ET Sat 18 May 6:30pm
US MILB 28 Daytona Tortugas vs Clearwater Threshers // UK Sat 18 May 11:30pm // ET Sat 18 May 6:30pm
US MILB 29 Bradenton Marauders vs Tampa Tarpons // UK Sat 18 May 11:30pm // ET Sat 18 May 6:30pm
US MILB 30 Toledo Mud Hens vs Indianapolis Indians // UK Sat 18 May 11:35pm // ET Sat 18 May 6:35pm
US MILB 31 Iowa Cubs vs Syracuse Mets // UK Sat 18 May 11:35pm // ET Sat 18 May 6:35pm
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US MILB 34 Lehigh Valley IronPigs vs Norfolk Tides // UK Sat 18 May 11:35pm // ET Sat 18 May 6:35pm

Saw a skateboarding legend eating at that questionable restaurant Cantina yesterday and a cursory search online revealed that Olympic qualifiers are going on. Just kinda surprised not to have heard much about this.

"Oh, we'll invoke lush clichés about the lonely heroism of Olympic athletes, the pain and analgesia of football, the early rising and hours of practice and restricted diets, the preflight celibacy, et cetera. But the actual facts of the sacrifices repel us when we see them: basketball geniuses who cannot read, sprinters who dope themselves, defensive tackles who shoot up with bovine hormones until they collapse or explode. We prefer not to consider closely the shockingly vapid and primitive comments uttered by athletes in postcontest interviews or to consider what impoverishments in one's mental life would allow people actually to think the way great athletes seem to think. Note the way "up close and personal" profiles of professional athletes strain so hard to find evidence of a rounded human life–outside interests and activities, values beyond the sport. We ignore what's obvious, that most of this straining is farce. It's farce because the realities of top-level athletics today require an early and total commitment to one area of excellence. An ascetic focus. A subsumption of almost all other features of human life to one chosen talent and pursuit. A consent to live in a world that, like a child's world, is very small. "
​
-from The String Theory

Valeriya Novodvorskaya was born on 17 May 1950 in Baranavichy, Byelorussian SSR to a Jewish engineer, Ilya Burshtyn, and a pediatrician, Nina Novodvorskaya, who came from a noble Russian family. She took her mother's surname because, as Burshtyn noted, because of the ‘poisoning doctors’ case’ and the case of the Jewish Anti-Fascist Committee, “Jewish surnames were unpopular”.
Novodvorskaya had been active in the Soviet dissident movement since her youth and was first imprisoned by Soviet authorities in 1969, when she was 19, for distributing leaflets criticising the Soviet invasion of Czechoslovakia .
On 5 December 1969, at an evening dedicated to the Constitution Day of the USSR in the Kremlin Palace of Congresses, before the premiere of Vano Muradeli's opera October, Novodvorskaya scattered handwritten leaflets with an anti-Soviet poem of her own composition about the Soviet Communist Party:
Thank you Party
For all the falsehood and lies,
For all the denunciations and informers,
For the shots in Prague's square,
For all the lies you've yet to tell.
For the paradise of factories and of flats,
All built on crimes in the torture
Chambers of yesterday and today
And for our broken and black world.
Thank you Party
For our bitterness and despair,
For our shameful silence,
Thank you Party.
When she was arrested, investigators didn't believe she acted alone. In Lefortovo prison she behaved defiantly brave, calling the investigator ‘an inquisitor, a sadist and a collaborator with the Gestapo’. Even in prison, she did not stop her activities; she wrote her anti-communist poems on paper and scattered them in the prison yard. She was eventually sent for a psychiatric examination and diagnosed with ‘Sluggish schizophrenia’. This diagnosis was used in the Soviet Union to deprive dissidents of their rights and send them to compulsory psychiatric treatment. Being in compulsory psychiatric treatment was much worse than being in prison, because under the guise of treatment dissidents were subjected to torture and abuse. Novodvorskaya described the torture in Soviet psychiatric hospitals for political activists:

• Beating
  
• Tying the patient to the bed for a few days until numbness sets in.
  
• wrapping the patient in wet towels and sheets. When the cloths dried, they soaked into the body causing terrible pain.
  
• Drilling healthy teeth without anaesthesia until the drill bit goes into the jaw, removing the dental nerve without anaesthesia and then filling.
  
• Injection of sulfazine, medicine was used only in the USSR, and caused terrible pain for a few days, temperature up to 40 degrees and thirst, with almost no water given
  
• Subcutaneous injection of oxygen. A large swelling occurs at the injection site and the prisoner feels as if his skin is being ripped off.
  

Novodvorskaya stayed in this ‘treatment centre’ from June 1970 to February 1972, after which she was released
From 1977 to 1978, she attempted to create an underground political party to fight the CPSU. On 28 October 1978 she became one of the founders of the ‘Free Interprofessional Association of Workers’. She underlined her programme with the regime from the only revolutionary whose books were available to her - Vladimir Lenin. Novodvorskaya and her associates again acted in a demonstratively open manner and even held a congress of the underground party and invited foreign journalists (the congress was held in the flat of one of the participants). The KGB persecuted Novodvorskaya and again sent her to psychiatric hospitals, but to general hospitals where there was no torture. Although sitting in a hospital with seriously mentally ill people for several months for a healthy person is also a form of torture. The congress was eventually dispersed and Novodvorskaya was arrested several more times for throwing leaflets in Moscow. She was again placed under compulsory psychiatric examination and the torture returned, but only for a fortnight. After two weeks, Gorbachev came to power and Valeria was released due to ‘changes in the situation in the country’
On 8 May 1988, she became one of the participants in the creation of the first opposition party in the USSR, Democratic Union. Since 1988 she regularly appeared in the illegal newspaper of the Moscow organisation of the Democratic Union ‘Svobodnoe Slovo’, and in 1990 the newspaper's eponymous publishing house published a collection of her articles. In September 1990, after publishing an article entitled ‘Heil, Gorbachev!’ in the party newspaper Svobodnoe Slovo and speaking at rallies where she tore up portraits of Mikhail Gorbachev, she was accused of publicly insulting the honour and dignity of the USSR president and insulting the state flag
After the collapse of the USSR, she supported Boris Yeltsin, but demanded from him the development of success - a complete ban of the Communist Party. In September 1993, after President Boris Yeltsin issued a decree to dissolve the Congress of People's Deputies and the Supreme Soviet of the Russian Federation, she was one of the first to support this decree. She organised rallies in support of the president. After the storming of the Supreme Soviet building by troops loyal to Yeltsin, Novodvorskaya drank champagne and treated passers-by in the street in honour of his victory over the Congress and Parliament
In March 2010, she signed the Russian opposition's appeal ‘Putin must go away’
On 12 July 2014, she was hospitalised in intensive care, as reported by a number of media outlets, she died in her 65th year of life from phlegmon of the left foot complicated by sepsis. According to her relatives, she had received the injury on her left foot six months earlier and tried to cure it on her own, because Valeria feared and hated doctors
Novodvorskaya did not marry or start a family, because, according to her, ‘the KGB deprived her of such an opportunity back in 1969’. ‘A person who condemns himself to fight the KGB cannot be responsible for his children, cannot vouch for their fate. He makes them hostages... The mother is in one camp, the father in another. What should a child do in this situation? In my opinion, complete irresponsibility.’ Novodvorskaya has held liberal views all her life. She was a consistent opponent of communism and fascism. From a young age she was convinced that as soon as the Communist Party of the Soviet Union stops ‘raping’ the people, ‘they will immediately start enjoying freedoms and rights with joy, with delight, and will begin to build capitalism’. She also advocated a boycott of the 2008 Summer Olympics in Communist China, explaining that democratic nations had no right to support a totalitarian country. In many ways, her views were close to libertarian, although she called the libertarian party's programme unserious and, if anyone tried to implement it seriously, even dangerous
Some Russian liberals called Novodvorskaya the grandmother of Russian democracy and the eternal oppositionist

Sources: russian-language and English-language wikipedia and memoirs by Novodvorskaya herself

Trials here https://mee6.xyz/i/GOrRCgaVe2
https://discord.gg/ygh87phpwx
Screwdatt, [5/17/2024 9:20 AM]
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Screwdatt, [5/17/2024 9:20 AM]
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Screwdatt, [5/17/2024 9:20 AM]
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Screwdatt, [5/17/2024 9:20 AM]
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Screwdatt, [5/17/2024 9:20 AM]
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Screwdatt, [5/17/2024 9:20 AM]
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Screwdatt, [5/17/2024 9:20 AM]
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Screwdatt, [5/17/2024 9:20 AM]
=== AUSTRALIA STAN PACK ===
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AU STAN SPORT AU EVENT 07 : Bellator 2 2024 start:2024-05-17 16:00:08 stop:2024-05-17 18:53:28
Screwdatt, [5/17/2024 9:20 AM]
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IE LOI TV 01 : St. Patricks Athletic FC vs Derry City FC // UK Fri 17 May 7:45pm // ET Fri 17 May 2:45pm
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IE LOI TV 09 : Wexford FC vs Kerry FC // UK Fri 17 May 7:45pm // ET Fri 17 May 2:45pm
Screwdatt, [5/17/2024 9:20 AM]
=== UK Amazon PACK ===
UK Amazon UK 00 : Australian Rules Football-Sydney Swans v Carlton Blues start:2024-05-17 10:10:00 stop:2024-05-17 14:10:00
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Screwdatt, [5/17/2024 9:20 AM]
UK Amazon UK 01 : UCI BMX Racing World Championship Rock Hill Day 1 start:2024-05-17 21:55:00 stop:2024-05-18 01:55:00
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UK Amazon UK 07 : Division 1 Féminine-Olympique Lyonnais v Paris Saint-Germain start:2024-05-17 19:55:00 stop:2024-05-17 23:55:00
Screwdatt, [5/17/2024 9:20 AM]
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UK DAZN UK 02 Bellator 2 // UK Fri 17 May 4:58pm // ET Fri 17 May 11:58am
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UK DAZN UK 06 Lyon vs. Psg // UK Fri 17 May 7:58pm // ET Fri 17 May 2:58pm
Screwdatt, [5/17/2024 9:20 AM]
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UK NRL LIVE 00: Gold Coast Titans vs Newcastle // UK Sat 18 May 5:58am // ET Sat 18 May 12:58am
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Screwdatt, [5/17/2024 9:20 AM]
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Screwdatt, [5/17/2024 9:20 AM]
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UK VIA PLAY 04 NHL Colorado dallas // UK Sat 18 May 3:05am ET Fri 17 May 10:05pm
Screwdatt, [5/17/2024 9:20 AM]
=== CANADA DAZN PACK ===
CA DAZN CA 13 The dazn boxing show live weighin // UK Fri 17 May 6:00pm // ET Fri 17 May 1:00pm
CA DAZN CA 14 Al nassr vs al hilal // UK Fri 17 May 7:00pm // ET Fri 17 May 2:00pm
CA DAZN CA 15 Southampton vs west brom // UK Fri 17 May 8:00pm // ET Fri 17 May 3:00pm
Screwdatt, [5/17/2024 9:20 AM]
=== USA TRILLER PACK ===
US TRILLER TV 01 Liga Portugal Betclic 2023/24 Rio Ave FC vs SL Benfica // UK Fri 17 May 8:35pm // ET Fri 17 May 3:35pm
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US TRILLER TV 06 Primos Pro Wrestling Alpha 9 (2024) // UK Sat 18 May 2:00am // ET Fri 17 May 9:00pm
Screwdatt, [5/17/2024 9:20 AM]
=== USA PEACOCK PACK ===
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US PEACOCK 04 CYCLING Bmx world champ qualifying // UK Fri 17 May 10:00pm // ET Fri 17 May 4:00pm
Screwdatt, [5/17/2024 9:20 AM]
=== USA MILB PACK ===
US MILB 01 Reading Fightin Phils vs Richmond Flying Squirrels // UK Fri 17 May 5:05pm // ET Fri 17 May 12:05pm
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Screwdatt, [5/17/2024 9:20 AM]
US MILB 03 Delmarva Shorebirds vs Lynchburg Hillcats // UK Fri 17 May 8:05pm // ET Fri 17 May 3:05pm
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US MILB 13 Portland Sea Dogs vs Somerset Patriots // UK Fri 17 May 11:35pm // ET Fri 17 May 6:35pm
US MILB 14 Buffalo Bisons vs Rochester Red Wings // UK Fri 17 May 11:45pm // ET Fri 17 May 6:45pm
US MILB 15 Greensboro Grasshoppers vs Hickory Crawdads // UK Sat 18 May 12:00am // ET Fri 17 May 7:00pm
US MILB 16 Carolina Mudcats vs Down East Wood Ducks // UK Sat 18 May 12:00am // ET Fri 17 May 7:00pm
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US MILB 18 Rocket City Trash Pandas vs Tennessee Smokies // UK Sat 18 May 12:00am // ET Fri 17 May 7:00pm
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US MILB 20 Durham Bulls vs Charlotte Knights // UK Sat 18 May 12:04am // ET Fri 17 May 7:04pm
US MILB 21 Louisville Bats vs Columbus Clippers // UK Sat 18 May 12:05am // ET Fri 17 May 7:05pm
US MILB 22 Altoona Curve vs Akron RubberDucks // UK Sat 18 May 12:05am // ET Fri 17 May 7:05pm
US MILB 23 Great Lakes Loons vs Dayton Dragons // UK Sat 18 May 12:05am // ET Fri 17 May 7:05pm
US MILB 24 Salem Red Sox vs Augusta GreenJackets // UK Sat 18 May 12:05am // ET Fri 17 May 7:05pm
Screwdatt, [5/17/2024 9:20 AM]
US MILB 25 Lake County Captains vs Lansing Lugnuts // UK Sat 18 May 12:05am // ET Fri 17 May 7:05pm
US MILB 26 Bowie Baysox vs Binghamton Rumble Ponies // UK Sat 18 May 12:05am // ET Fri 17 May 7:05pm
US MILB 27 Toledo Mud Hens vs Indianapolis Indians // UK Sat 18 May 12:05am // ET Fri 17 May 7:05pm
US MILB 28 Fredericksburg Nationals vs Myrtle Beach Pelicans // UK Sat 18 May 12:05am // ET Fri 17 May 7:05pm
US MILB 29 Jersey Shore BlueClaws vs Hudson Valley Renegades // UK Sat 18 May 12:05am // ET Fri 17 May 7:05pm
US MILB 30 Nashville Sounds vs Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp // UK Sat 18 May 12:05am // ET Fri 17 May 7:05pm
US MILB 31 Winston-Salem Dash vs Greenville Drive // UK Sat 18 May 12:05am // ET Fri 17 May 7:05pm
US MILB 32 South Bend Cubs vs Fort Wayne TinCaps // UK Sat 18 May 12:05am // ET Fri 17 May 7:05pm
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US MILB 36 Quad Cities River Bandits vs Cedar Rapids Kernels // UK Sat 18 May 12:35am// ET Fri 17 May 7:35pm
US MILB 37 Brooklyn Cyclones vs Bowling Green Hot Rods // UK Sat 18 May 12:35am // ET Fri 17 May 7:35pm
US MILB 38 Pensacola Blue Wahoos vs Montgomery Biscuits // UK Sat 18 May 12:35am // ET Fri 17 May 7:35pm
US MILB 39 Omaha Storm Chasers vs St. Paul Saints // UK Sat 18 May 12:37am // ET Fri 17 May 7:37pm
US MILB 40 Beloit Sky Carp vs Wisconsin Timber Rattlers // UK Sat 18 May 12:40am // ET Fri 17 May 7:40pm
US MILB 41 Chattanooga Lookouts vs Birmingham Barons // UK Sat 18 May 1:00am // ET Fri 17 May 8:00pm
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US MILB 45 West Michigan Whitecaps vs Peoria Chiefs // UK Sat 18 May 1:05am // ET Fri 17 May 8:05pm
US MILB 46 Northwest Arkansas Naturals vs Arkansas Travelers // UK Sat 18 May 1:05am // ET Fri 17 May 8:05pm
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US MILB 48 Reno Aces vs Round Rock Express // UK Sat 18 May 1:15am // ET Fri 17 May 8:15pm
US MILB 49 Sugar Land Space Cowboys vs Albuquerque Isotopes // UK Sat 18 May 1:35am// ET Fri 17 May 8:35pm
US MILB 50 Hillsboro Hops vs Tri-City Dust Devils // UK Sat 18 May 2:30am // ET Fri 17 May 9:30pm
US MILB 51 Lake Elsinore Storm vs Visalia Rawhide // UK Sat 18 May 2:30am // ET Fri 17 May 9:30pm
US MILB 52 Inland Empire 66ers vs Rancho Cucamonga Quakes // UK Sat 18 May 2:30am // ET Fri 17 May 9:30pm
Screwdatt, [5/17/2024 9:20 AM]
=== USA WNBA PACK ===
US WNBA GAME 01: Washington vs Connecticut 7:30 PM ET
US WNBA GAME 02: Seattle vs Minnesota 9:30 PM ET
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=== USA NBA PACK ===
US NBA LIVE 01: East Semifinals Game 6: New York at Indiana 8:30 PM ET
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=== USA NHL PACK ===
US NHL LIVE 01: East Semifinals Game 6: Florida at Boston 7:00 PM ET
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Screwdatt, [5/17/2024 9:20 AM]
=== USA MLB PACK ===
US MLB LIVE 01: Pittsburgh at Chi. Cubs 2:20 PM ET
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US MLB LIVE 15: Colorado at San Francisco 10:15 PM ET

[TLDR: I'm afraid of MIL+partner, and have to choose between attending important event at my own(!) indie art gallery (the same place they previously threw a tantrum at me with people present, which they didn't acknowledge or apologize for) where they plan to be attending, and risk hurting myself..., or do I stay away & keep myself out of this threatening situation, which means hurting people I care for? Both might endanger the work I built and love, but not sure which is more likely]
Let me first of all get my imposter dysphoria out of the way: I self diagnosed ADHD at 32 and now, at 36, finally moving past the gatekeeping trolls of classical autism. Despite (clueless) people laughing at me for wondering whether I might be autistic: Sorry not sorry I'm calling AuDHD. This. Explains. Everything. But I guess my masking skills are on Olympic qualification level.
So I'm still in a deep dive of information gathering, listing everything and making sense of who I actually am, and being so relieved and sad after all these years of not understanding what's wrong with me. So amazing to experience these developments in psychology and social sciences, and the more nuanced views on AuDHD, all made possible through world wide conversation and sharing between marginalised people. A revolution of sorts!
I'm still in some sort of identity crisis and very much traumatized by the millions of hours of therapy I struggled though, trying to work on my depression and personality... Always thinking I'm doing something wrong. So much work. Fun times.
Anyway: now you know where I am: part of the reason I didn't find out sooner, is because I've been living with an amazing & autistic husband for about 17 years: he didn't really know either, so we both thought a lot of Autistic things were super normal haha. My family; yup, same. His family; even deeper in the spectrum-soup. All this didn't become clear until this year, me being the last piece of the puzzle, so to speak. Me; being the extraverted, chronically ill, artistic, tired, depressed, funny, queer, unorganized people pleaser trying to keep everyone together and falling apart. Them: ...
Let me tell you, it's a long story. I'll try and keep it as short as possible.
My husband (M35) and I (NB36) have always been living and moving around in the same art scene, in the same big city as MIL (F63) and her wife (F51) of 12 years. (MIL's wife has never been a mother figure to either of us, they only got together a couple of years after husband and me met. My relationship with her has always been complicated and fragile, but it all went really south when her then-girlfriend moved in with her. I'll save you the joke, but it was quick.)
They're a smart and impressive but explosive couple, always arguing and losing friends and making enemies all around town. They don't seem to notice. Meanwhile they have been projecting all their insecurities and rejection sensitive dysphoria on me, trying to become more close like a proper cool artsy clan, with frequent outbursts of anger, despair, taking offense with things I didn't see coming. Never thinking for a moment about their part in all this, or how they push her son and me away with all the drama and fighting, with a reconciliation of sorts every 2 years, usually in the shape of me sort of apologising or letting things that hurt me slide, to keep the peace. They are not open to feedback or positive criticism; the few times I stood up for myself, asking for the fat shaming or harsh critique of my art to stop, they cried and got angry about being accused of something, and me limiting their free speech as well. Every time I've told them about my low self esteem, depression and struggles with pain and low energy, and every time they see me they say: oh you really look better now, so nice that you're a bit more healthy. Loving and well meaning, I'm sure. But very invalidating, and I try saying tactfully that I have my ups and downs, unfortunately. They have told my husband I'm always defensive. (Well, now I guess I must come across that way, even though to me that seemed unlikely. That's AuDHD for ya!)
Last three appointments I was about 10 minutes- half an hour late (let them know by message but they didn't see the last time) due to severe panic attacks, and they got angry I'm always late, saying it must be because I don't like them, and started screaming and crying right there in the restaurant. When I tried to save the situation by confessing I get anxious about what to wear, not wanting to look fat (which is hard because I am, and even when I wasn't, MIL always made clear she thought I was), and also being afraid about them getting angry. (Irony.) Well that didn't work, shocks, they have been saying I hate them and don't want to be with them (!) and gloriously fulfilled their own prophecy.
To top it all off, they came to our small indie gallery a couple of weeks ago, they started almost immediately crying (MIL) and hissing at me, seemingly out of nowhere (although they told my husband I hurt them by shoving in their faces about how we loved my family more...)
I guess they referred to: me telling them I had to leave, talking enthusiasticly about the trip we were taking to meet my niece for her 16th birthday, and how we had trouble taking time off from work, but my niece really wasn't doing well mentally so my cousin was grateful we could be there, planning the party around our work schedule! You know, me putting on a mask by being all bubbly and agreeable... Honestly forgetting about their RSD! (I understand why, now)
So that's when they started crying and cursing at me right there and then, in the middle of our small art gallery, surrounded by two horrified visitors, one artist and our new employee. I froze, think I said something along the lines of: " this is not something to discuss here" and ran to the storage room, sobbing in some paper towels and feeling like trash. The artist came after me, consoling me and saying that was weird as duck. When I came out, they had left. My husband immediately after I told him sent them a text: "please don't treat my wife like that. We'll talk later, I can't now." That felt good.
Didn't hear from them until after our weekend away, when my husband told me they invited themselves over to celebrate his birthday that weekend and he couldn't really help it. That sucked. I didn't dare calling (so much anxiety) so wrote them an email carefully wording how I was still shaking from our encounter, and how I was sad about our clashing, saying we should meet up and talk about it when we were all ready to do so; but for this birthday celebration, I wouldn't be able to be present without talking about what happened honestly, and would hate for my husbands birthday to be weighed down by that. I suggested to make myself scarce and leave them be, and asked them to name a date and place to talk it all through. Before you ask: I was careful not to include angry or passive-aggressive remarks, I even asked a friend to check for that specifically. (Had to edit a bit haha) I did this for my husband to not ruin his relationship with his mother, and because I feel sad for her. Even though I felt like betraying my self worth a bit, and had to really censure myself. But hey, I'm used to that!
On the one hand; with my -since then- discovered AuDHD, I must admit I am probably less good at reading and interpreting and projecting certain social cues or body language. On the other hand: keep in mind everyone in this story is definitely (undiagnosed) autistic.
It has been exhausting and frankly I'm ready to throw in the towel and bow out of social gatherings. I love my MIL but I'm tired of her, and I'm actually afraid of what her wife is capable of, she can become very angry, not only with me, actually there's always someone she will rant about quite intensely. Actually, my husband and them decided that would be for the best, when I wasn't there, last week.
And now for the twist: there's an opening in our gallery this afternoon (EU), and the girls are coming... Or so they told my husband anyway. It's an important local artist and they really care about being at these events. I want to go. I'm tired but wouldn't want to miss it. The artist is quite a good friend of mine and to top it off, I'm an auntie to her children, who I haven't seen in a while and would be very disappointed if I weren't there. Also: it's MY ducking gallery, MY exhibition, MY friend and her amazing kids who would be so disappointed and possibly hurt... Also also I feel like a jerk leaving all the work to my husband+employee. This is our biggest opening yet!
I can't imagine not going.
To be fair: my husband has offered to ask them not to come, but added that it would make things more difficult between them. He says I could always go for a stroll and avoid them. But I have been anxious for weeks now about them being capable of attacking me in broad daylight, and now it's not just two customers and my friend, but possibly the complete metropolitan art scene.
What do I do? Take the risk? Accept the exhaustion and humiliation and possibly having to recover for days? (Did I mention I have two more gallery days ahead of me, only just having found out how much it takes out of me to be there?) Please help me make a sensible decision, my people! I know there's no one perfect solution for everything (do I?) but it feels like a pivotal moment...

Part 1: I’m a teacher. Tuesday morning, I was approached and partially peer pressured by another teacher into signing up for the staff vs students volleyball game. I used to be great at sports (even had a state record as a teen and qualified for the f-ing Olympic trials) and I am currently still mourning the physically active person that I was, and coming to terms with my diagnosis and my limits. I declined to play, but offered to be there for student behavior management. When she asked why I didn’t want to play, I explained that, while it’s not obvious, I do have a disability that causes my joints to easily dislocate and my dominant shoulder is the worst one, and playing volleyball would basically guarantee that it dislocates. She accepted my offer to sit out.
Part 2: That evening (Tuesday), I had a personal training session at a new gym. My doctor told me that as soon as I can do 15 min of brisk cardio without hurting myself, I’m good to start doing light strength training as I have become very weak the past few years. I was told that my trainer had PT experience and works with people with disabilities. I explained to her that I am very familiar with the sacrifices needed to get stronger and feel better, but also I need her to respect my limits. I explained EDS and how one degree too far can totally mess up my joint. I explained that I experience pain tenfold due to central sensitization. But she wouldn’t stop it with the “no pain, no gain!” mindset and ended up pushing me too far after I told her I physically couldn’t and now, I have a seriously subluxed left hip.
Part 3: To the final portion of my rant, I have been limping because of my hip. The unsteadiness of my hip has also made the other side hurt due to compensation. Other teachers and staff have noticed. And apparently, word on the street is, I magically developed a disability just in time so that I do not have to participate in the volleyball game. And how the timing of my “disability reveal” is quite suspicious.
Thankfully I’m leaving this school due to other serious systemic issues with the administration. But now I feel my reputation is ruined and also I’m still in a ton of pain.
I’d love to get support from other teachers here. At my next school, should I be candid upfront about my disability? I’m thinking about getting a cane to help me on days like this but I’ve never used a mobility aid aside from a special stand that holds my instruments up for me (I teach music). How do you interact with other staff members regarding your mobility? How much should be new administration know?
Thank you 🩵

Hopefully this is the right sort of place to post this, i wasn't really sure where else to go and don't have a whole circle or groupchat of stays to talk to...
so i've been working out an idea for a sort of D&D inspired AU and i need some input/ideas on basically what the major plot line will be... it's pretty much entirely D&D, BUT i'm not being super strict about it because rules and keeping track of a lot of shit can get really confusing, i love D&D and have read a lot about the game in general and watched playthroughs and stuff but i don't have a lot of working/technical knowledge in my brain because i haven't played myself much and it would just become such a pain and messy if i tried to REALLY stick with it y'know? so otherwise just general high-fantasy type story, probably gonna have some lord of the rings inspiration, too. pretty much just gonna be D&D with some creative liberties, which... i guess is kind of just normal D&D in a way LOL but anyway, I've got classes and races assigned for everybody and I'll list those just for funsies later in the post though that's not really the part i need help with, but commentary is still appreciated. where i'm stuck on is what i'm gonna make the main plot/the quest, which is... kind of an important part of a story 😅 What I really wanna do, is have Chan get a magic compass (haven't decided how it was acquired/who gave it to him yet, either, input definitely appreciated on that) that leads him to each of the members (in order of when they joined stray kids lol) first to get them to join him in his adventure, but then i'm not entirely sure what the driving force/motivation behind the compass is or like what it'll lead him to after he gets all the members... honestly, might just have him be gifted it mysteriously or by like a dying family member or something that tells him to follow the broken compass, but i think i'd like there to be a liiiittle more to it than that. i was kind of thinking of doing something with like the sound monsters like in the noeasy trailer, or something similar like a mind flayer that's stealing people's voices? idk, obviously u can see why i'm asking others for input and help because i have this whole world in my head and i have various things i've imagined for them, but it's literally the biggest part of the story that i can't decide on and it's driving me NUTS!!
Anyway, here's their classes, just for funsies:
Chan: Paladin (Guardian/Oath of Protection), Human Minho: Druid (Circle of the Shepherd)/Ranger (Beast Master, of course he will have a panther along with the journey and many cats at home, and he'll be an archer because of the idol olympics), Human (though i've debated making him elf/half-elf) Changbin: Champion Fighter, protection style, human Hyunjin: Sorcerer, Wild Magic, High Elf Jisung: Rogue, Arcane Trickster, Tiefling Felix: Monk, Way of the Sun Soul Seungmin: Wizard, School of Transmutation (I've gone back and forth on subclass/school for him, so input appreciated for that!) Jeongin: Life Domain Cleric, Human
Thank you for any help/input!

I am NOT the Original Poster. That is u/ThrowRA-3258. She posted in relationship_advice
Trigger Warning: infant death, loss
Mood Spoiler: Sad, but ultimately hopeful
Original Post: 29th April 2024
Last Tuesday evening I (32F) came home from a being out of town for two weeks for work, my boyfriend (35M) Nate was supposed to pick me up from the airport but once I got in, I wasn't able to get ahold of him and he never showed up, I was a little annoyed but no too worried because I figured he had fallen asleep(When I talked to him earlier that morning he said he didn't sleep very well the night before and was going to lay down before he had to come get me)so I called my sister for a ride home.
When I got home Nate was no where to be found, I checked the garage an his car was gone, so I sent him a text asking where he was and headed up stairs to unpack. When I open the closet to put my things away I saw that almost all of his clothes were gone. At this point I'm confused, so I start calling him it just keeps ringing and then going to voicemail. I check his office and everything is still there, everything in the house is still there and in place except his clothes and his car. I'm really starting to freak out at this point, so I call my sister and she comes over and we both try calling and messaging him and still get no answer. his computer and his laptop are both still in his office, I logged on to his computer and my sister his laptop(I know all his passwords) but we didn't find anything out of the ordinary, so I started searching his desk and found his iPad in the top drawer, I logged into it and checked everything I could think of and found nothing out of the ordinary, my sister suggested checking the find my iPhone app on his iPad to see if we find out where his phone was. We logged into the app and see that his phone was pinging in the next state over, I starting calling him again but still got no answers to my calls or text.
I really start to lose it here, my mind starts going all over the place trying to figure out what could be going on, I called the police because I think someone has to have done something to him. The police came out but they said there wasn't much they could do because he hasn't been gone long and his clothes missing was sign the he left on his own violation.
Over the last few days I've done everything I can to contact him, He doesn't have any family except for a brother that he cut ties with before I met him, I found him online and sent him a message but he said he hasn't seen or heard from Nate in years. I keep checking his phones location and since Saturday morning it has been pinging in the same location in the PNW, I took off work for the rest of the week and my sister and I are flying up there to go to the location his phone is pinging.
Has anyone ever dealt with something like this before? How do I even confront him, what if he is with another woman, what if he isn't there or worse? I am so lost and hurt right now, my mind is all over the place, I can’t think straight, I’m so lost right now.
tl;dr my(32F) boyfriend (35M) of six years disappeared while I was out of town, haven't been able to contact him but his phone is pinging in the PNW and I am going to confront him tomorrow.
Edit: Yes I have called or messaged all of his friends, none of them have seen or heard from him, I do have access to his bank account as we have a joint account but not his business account, He last used his debt card Friday night in a town west of Seattle Washington, He owns his own business but has taken a step back over the last year so he doesn't communicate with them regularly, they haven't heard from him since last month.
I am 5 months pregnant and we have known for 3 months, he did become a bit reserved and withdrawn since we found out but its not uncommon for him to do that every so often especially around this time of year. I don't truly believe that he would abandon me and his child, that's just not the type of man he is but I don't know what to think anymore.
small update: first I want say thank you to everyone for suggesting the welfare check epically We called the the department where his phone is pinging and they have sent someone over to see if they can make contact with him.. Its been over an hour and we are still waiting to hear back. I am hopeful but still have a overbearing since of dread. All I want to know right now is that he is ok and I can figure out everything else later, I just need to know he is ok.
UPDATE: The police were able to do a welfare check and although they were unable to make direct contact with him they spoke to the couple who live at the house, they said they were old family friends and that he was there on Friday and Saturday but that he went to the Olympics Sunday morning to go hiking for a couple of days, The officers informed them of what was going on and they told him, they believed he was ok and that they would contact me tonight to try and help explain the situation. What does that even mean? I am even more confused, our flight to Seattle is at 9:45am tomorrow and at this point we are still going, I hope these people do call but its been awhile now and I haven't heard anything.
NEW UPDATE: I think this will be my final update, I have to get ready and get my stuff packed for the flight in the morning, I have just spent the last hour speaking to the couple who house he was at and they against his wishes told me what is going on. They have known Nate since he was 12 years old, he started dating their daughter Ashley when they were in sixth grade and they counited dating all through middle school and high school. Ashley got pregnant toward the end of their senior year and they got engaged. I don't know how to even write this next part, When their son was a 1.5 years old they were involved in an accident with a drunk driver, Nate was ejected from the car and Ashley and his son passed away in the accident, She said that he blames himself for it because according to him they were never supposed to be out that night and it was his fault they were, She said he withdrew from them and everyone else and that up until last Friday that hadn't heard from him since he left. She has offered to come get my sister and I from the airport in the morning and she can try to answer any questions I have while we wait for him to return, She said they know where he is, he is at the spot they spread their ashes, she said he told her that he need be with his son one more time before he let him go... I'm honestly in a total state of shock right now, I don't know what to think but I know he is in pain and I need to get to him and I can figure everything else after.
Thank you to all the kind people who reached out and offered your suggestions, I honestly don't think I would have this information right now if it wasn't for you all, so again thank you!
****************************NEW UPDATE***************************\*
Update recovered with Unddit - 9 May 2024
First I want to say thank you to everyone who reached out and offered your advice and help on the other hand the people who were just mean or all the men who came into my messages, you should be ashamed of yourselves.
We did fly out to Seattle last Tuesday morning. Kathy(the wife of the couple) picked us up from the airport and took us back to their place, on the way there she said her husband was on his way to go find Nate so he could bring him back but it would likely be a few hours before they would arrive back.
As we waited Kathy did her best to answer some of the questions that I had, I knew Nate lost his mom at a young age to breast cancer but she said it had deeply profound effect on him and he became a very troubled child, she said that when him and Ashley met that Nate was in a group home(I did not know this)because he was in a lot of trouble for fighting and drug use(he was 12!) I was kind of taken back by this because I've never know him to do anything besides smoke marijuana from time to time, he doesn't even drink. She said that when they met Ashley immediately took on a role of protector of him, she could feel his pain and she wanted to rescue him from it, when they finally got to know him they decided that they would take Nate in if he wanted that once he was was out of the group home, when he was 16 he finally got out of the group home but was still on probation so he had to live with his dad who was a alcoholic and abusive but he would spend most evenings and weekends at their house, he still got in trouble because he kept failing his U.A. for marijuana but he was no longer getting into fights, he credited Ashley for that and felt like she and her family were the only people besides his mom to ever show him any compassion or love. She asked if I would like to see pictures of them and when she showed me the picture of Nate holding his son for the first time I broke down, because I have never seen him in the six years we have been together with a smile like that, he was so happy, he smiles now from time to time and he is always laughing but I've never seen that smile, that gleam. it just broke me to know that he had been living in that much pain for 15+ years and hid it from everyone. We looked through more pictures and she told more stories. and spoke of how sad she was when he left, we talked for hours and then finally her husband came through the doo but Nate was not with him.
George(Kathy's husband) said that he had found Nate where he was supposed to be and explained that my sister and I were at their house waiting for him. He said when he told him this that Nate laughed and said of course, and that he would head back, he just needed a few more minutes alone.
so we waited for what felt like forever and finally a little over two hours after George arrived back, Nate walked in the front door. He looked at me and the first words out of his mouth were "I should have known my note wouldn't be good enough and that you would come find me, I love you and I am very sorry" I said what note! and he said the one I put in you front seat, he put in my car! I never even thought to check there for anything.
I am going to leave out a lot of this next part because its very personal but I asked him why he would just leave me at the airport and why he wouldn't just call or text me that he was leaving. He said that while I was gone, he wanted to put some of the things that we had gotten for the baby in the nursey and start painting it before I got back and that everything was fine until he started putting together the dresser and the changing station, while he was doing that he was flooded with memories of his son and Ashley and that it actually knocked him off his feet and he broke down, he said every time he closed his eyes he saw them(that's why he couldn't sleep) he said he deiced to take mushrooms to try and help get him out of it(what!) but all that did was make things worse and he realized that he needed to not forget them and not hide them and that he needed to go make peace with them and ask them to forgive him for abandoning their memory. He knew that when I got home that I would obviously know something wasn't right with him and he also didn't know how to tell me he had been hiding a huge part of his past, anyway he expressed how sorry he was and that he understood if all of this was to much and if I didn't want to be with him anymore that he would completely understand. I let him know that as long as he agreed to never hide something from me or disappear again and would agree to go to therapy and couples therapy that I wouldn't be going anywhere. He promised he would do whatever I asked of him. I asked him to fly back with me and my sister called her husband to fly in and they would drive his car back. So we are back home now, he hasn't started therapy yet but has an appointment next week.
Our baby is doing ok and so am I, I just need him to be ok and everything will be good again, anyway thank you again to all the kind hearts who reached out, you gave me a lot of positive vibes in a dark time and I really cant thank you enough for that.

A reminder to not comment on Original Posts. See rule 7.

As mentioned in my post title, my 16m son has never reacted to pain consistently. It seems as though he barely feels most injuries but once or twice a year something small will happen and he will claim extraordinary pain, often requiring a trip to the ER for help managing his pain. The tricky thing is that we never know what will send him into one of these pain episodes.
Most of the time he will carry on like it’s business as usual after an injury. He has gone days without having a broken bone looked at because he doesn’t feel it and so he doesn’t report it to us, we’ve had to notice himself carrying himself differently. Since he doesn’t fully experience the pain associated with most injuries, he is not afraid to play football, wrestle, rock climb, skateboard, bmx, etc. Pretty much anything with a high probability of injury, he does it with gusto. We require him to wear all necessary protective gear for the duration of the activity every, single time.
When he does experience pain, it is excruciating and is accompanied by dizziness, nausea, fainting and he will complain of a burning sensation throughout his extremities. These intense pain episodes last anywhere from 6 hours to 3 days. This has been happening throughout his entire life.
Here are some things that he’s barely reacted to: 1 moderate concussion 6 broken bones, each one a different event and most are different years A second degree burn from cooking Nearly all immunizations and blood draws A dog bite that required 12 stitches
Here are a few things that have sent him over the edge: 1 mild concussion (ER trip, for pain) A tetanus shot (ER trip) A bad sunburn on the back of his neck during a week long summer camp (urgent care) A blood draw (ER trip) A buckle fracture (ER trip) An attempt at shaving that left a significant cut on his chin (urgent care)
We live in a very small town and our pediatrician is stumped. He’s willing to refer us to any kind of specialist we want to see but I don’t know where to begin. With our limited finances being what they are, I’d rather not waste money on the wrong doctors.
I guess my questions are what could this be and what kind of specialist should we request? Can someone please help steer us in the right direction?

So first thing I’ll say is I cannot call myself a juggalo, however I began to realize how ignorant people are towards juggalos. I used to ride bmx, it’s a sport with a variety of people and through it I met many. They were the most fun people to ride with, back in the day I wore “emo” clothes(girl pants era of 07-09) and they never once treated me as any less than a friend. They never mocked anyone’s skill level and only had positive things to say to other riders(they’d whoop whoop when someone did a cool trick). Basically if there were juggalos at the skatepark the session was going to be fun.
It pains me when I see people still hating in 2024, mostly by people who’ve never met a juggalo in real life. I just wanted to say the best friends I’ve made in life are juggalos and I still talk to them to this day. As a non-juggalo I just wanted to shoot some love your way. Nobody should be labeled a gang for their taste in music, especially when the culture is mainly about love and family.

I’ve auditioned and trained on snare drum for 3 years. I’ve also went through one full and one partial leadership training. I did my best but I was put on an instrument that barely anyone is qualified/wants to do(synthesizer). Due to me being my director’s best candidate for synthesizer I was denied a place in the drumline 3 times. Not because I’m bad at drums. I can play them, even better than some of the rookies who were given the role(I’m not kidding or flexing, I literally have more training and life experience) but when you have multiple people doing something and your best and only worker wants to switch to something that many other people can do, you’re probably not going to allow them to switch and it makes perfect sense. The rookies and first years can be trained into next generation drummers but I’m basically a senior(Junior Marshall becoming a senior in 8 days) so this is my last season and I have no replacement. As for leadership, I went through a whole entire training session over the course of about two months, not getting voted for and someone else who had been in the band Longer than me who was more assertive taking Section leader position, which makes sense also. The second time I actually had a chance, considering that most leaders were leaving, I lost my cool once during the year after being perfectly fine and having a clean record. I didn’t Hurt anyone or destroy any property but I ended up with a week of suspension missing three of my leadership trainings. When I came back, I naturally lost any chance at marching band leadership for the rest of my High school career. It’s crazy how I went above and beyond did everything I was supposed to do came to almost every single rehearsal, when above and beyond, and one moment of weakness ruined it all. It’s crazy how a flick of a finger can send a whole tower down. Anyways, I’m a very persistent person and I will not give up. I consider myself to be a drum line and leadership alternate(the List hasn’t been posted yet and people keep leaving) and I’m not a failure, I’m in training. If you completed years of Olympic training, but you didn’t make the Olympics you might’ve not made the Olympics, but you still have more experience than most people (who never even attempted). I plan to Continue college and attempt to make snare drum and leader ship in college. The opportunity to carry a snare drum for a while today in direct sunlight and it’s not that bad except for the small of my back got sore very fast And I was left leaning backwards because it was the only way that I could prevent it from Falling off or anything. I Have marched before, but I can use training. Do you think putting a backpack on my back facing forward Filling it up with rocks and walking around my neighborhood would help me? How can I prevent pain in the small of my back while marching snare? How can I prepare for college leadership and auditions? Has anyone else been in a similar situation where you didn’t get into leadership or the instrument you were going for it in college?

As far back as I can remember, I had always been passionate about the great outdoors. My love for the wilderness began when I joined the scouts, exploring the diverse landscapes of Southern California, Nevada, Arizona, and Utah. I was never a huge fan of the dry, barren landscapes, but camping provided a much-needed escape from the monotony of Orange County suburbia.
The first time I visited the Pacific Northwest, I was enchanted. The scenery was breathtaking—majestic mountains, lush fields, and meandering rivers. It was clear that anyone who praised the desert's beauty had never laid eyes on the Cascades. Seeing grass and wildflowers growing without irrigation was practically a revelation.
When I was old enough, I moved to Washington state, immersing myself in nature every weekend. My adventures took me hiking through dense forests, camping by serene lakes, and occasionally taking mushrooms under peaceful waterfalls.
I joined several online forums dedicated to outdoor enthusiasts. One community that particularly fascinated me was the Northwest Tomb Raiders. This group of history buffs and thrill-seekers was dedicated to uncovering artifacts, whether Native American relics or treasures hidden in modern ruins. Many members were collectors, fencing their finds to museums and archaeologists, which made it a rather profitable side gig, should you be lucky enough.
In the fall of 2009, an intriguing post appeared on the forum. A user named Lokk claimed to have discovered a cache of artifacts with Scandinavian origins. He couldn't carry everything back due to the treacherous terrain and his age, so he shared the coordinates, hoping someone else could retrieve the items. I scrolled down to see a few posts of people planning to loot it in the Spring, when the paths have reopened. One user, Patagooner, planned on going as early as possible.
Excited by the prospect, I gathered my two friends, Carl and Noah, for the expedition. They weren't as enthusiastic about camping as I was, but after I told them how much a single arrowhead goes for on the black market, they were on board. It was the start of winter now, which had its advantages and disadvantages. On the plus side, the rangers would have a harder time spotting us. On the downside, the harsh conditions posed a serious challenge for two inexperienced hikers.
I must’ve blown about four grand at REI on gear for them, justifying it with the knowledge of how much more I would make with two extra packs. That is of course assuming there really were as many artifacts as Lokk had said, and Patagooner hadn’t beaten me there.
The journey began like any other. We met in the pre-dawn darkness and went over our supplies, ensuring we had everything we needed. By mid-morning, we were on our way, my pickup truck winding up the mountain paths. The roads of Olympic National Park were the epitome of the raw, untamed beauty of the Pacific Northwest.
They snake through ancient forests, where towering Douglas firs and Western hemlocks create a verdant canopy overhead. Mist clings to the trees, giving the landscape an ethereal quality. Occasionally, the forest would open up to reveal breathtaking vistas of snow-capped peaks and deep, shadowy valleys.
As we climbed higher, the landscape grew increasingly desolate. The dense forest thinned out, replaced by rugged terrain and jagged rock formations. The air grew colder, and the first flurries of snow began to fall, dusting the ground in a thin, white layer. The road became narrower and more treacherous, winding precariously along the edge of steep cliffs.
Finally, a road closure blockade signaled the end of our journey in the truck. We unloaded three dirt bikes—one mine, two rentals—and continued up the trail. The bikes roared to life, carrying us several more miles into the wilderness. The trail twisted and turned, cutting through dense underbrush and over fallen logs. The snow began to fall more heavily, blanketing the forest floor and muffling the sound of our engines. The world around us grew quieter, more isolated.
Eventually, the snow became too deep to traverse by bike. We dismounted and prepared to continue on foot. The silence of the forest was profound, broken only by the occasional rustle of branches in the wind. I checked my modern GPS, its screen displaying the coordinates and a relief map of our destination.
The cold air bit into our cheeks as we trudged through the snow-laden forest. The silence was almost oppressive, broken only by the crunch of our footsteps and the occasional call of distant wildlife. The GPS indicated we were close to our destination, but the dense underbrush and uneven terrain made progress slow.
Suddenly, Carl's excited whisper cut through the stillness. "Hey, look at that!"
He pointed to a small, furry creature ambling through the trees. It took a moment to realize what it was—a bear cub, innocently exploring its surroundings.
My heart sank. "Carl, get back," I hissed, my voice low but urgent. "Where there's a cub, there's a..."
Before I could finish, a massive shape exploded from the trees. The mother bear, easily three times the size of the cub, charged at Carl with a ferocity. She was a blur of dark fur and powerful muscles, her roar echoing through the forest.
"Run!" I yelled, but it was too late. The bear was upon Carl, swiping at him with her massive paws. He screamed as he fell to the ground, the bear towering over him. Desperation and adrenaline surged through me. I grabbed the nearest heavy branch and swung it at the bear, hoping to distract her.
Noah joined in, shouting and waving his arms. We had to be careful; one wrong move and she would turn on us. The bear snarled, turning her attention away from Carl for just a moment. It was enough for him to scramble backwards, clutching his bleeding arm.
"We have to get him out of here," I shouted to Noah, who nodded, fear etched on his face. The bear, still enraged, seemed torn between attacking us and protecting her cub.
Using the brief respite, we hauled Carl to his feet. His face was white, and he was clearly in shock. Blood soaked his sleeve, dripping onto the snow. "There's a ranger station about two miles from here," I said, my voice shaking. "We need to get him there. Now."
We half-carried, half-dragged Carl through the forest, every shadow and sound heightening our paranoia.
Finally, after what felt like forever, the small, wooden structure of the ranger station came into view. We had been avoiding the rangers to keep our expedition secret, but now it was our only hope.
Pounding on the door, I prayed for a quick response. The door creaked open, and a weathered face appeared. "What happened?" the ranger demanded, taking in the sight of Carl's bloodied form.
"Bear attack," I gasped. "We need help."
The ranger's expression shifted from suspicion to urgency. "Get him inside. We've got a first aid kit and a radio."
As we eased Carl onto a makeshift bed, the ranger inspected his wounds. "You're lucky," he said after a moment. "The cuts are deep, but they missed any major arteries. He'll need stitches, but we can handle that here. No need for an airlift."
The ranger's face darkened as he turned to me. "What the hell are you boys doing out here?”
I hesitated, "We... we were just exploring."
The ranger's eyes narrowed, his anger palpable. "Exploring? In a restricted area? In the middle of winter? Are you out of your minds?"
He worked quickly and efficiently, cleaning and stitching Carl's wounds. Carl winced but stayed silent, his eyes closed in pain.
"Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out here?" the ranger continued, his voice rising. "The storm, the wildlife... This area is off-limits for a reason! You should have known better." he said, pushing a finger into my chest.
"We'll stay here for the night," he continued, "The storm's getting worse, and it's too dangerous to move him now. We'll reassess in the morning. And count yourself lucky I don't arrest your asses."
Night fell quickly, the storm outside growing more ferocious with each passing minute. The howling wind battered the small ranger station, and the walls creaked under the pressure. We huddled in the main room, the tension thick in the air.
The ranger looked at us sternly. "I need to check the perimeter and make sure everything is secure. There are things out there you don’t want to encounter, especially in this storm."
"Things? What do you mean?" Noah asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
The ranger's expression hardened. "Just stay put. No matter what you see or hear, do not leave this cabin. Understood?"
We nodded, the seriousness in his tone leaving no room for argument. "We'll stay put," I said, trying to sound more confident than I felt.
The ranger grabbed his coat and shotgun. "I'll be back in an hour. Do not leave this cabin." With that, he opened the door and stepped into the raging storm, disappearing into the darkness.
As soon as the door closed, I turned to Noah. "We need to go. Now."
Noah's eyes widened. "Are you crazy? He said to stay put."
"If we wait until morning, we'll be escorted out of here and lose our chance. This might be our only opportunity to find those artifacts."
Noah hesitated with uncertainty "But... what about Carl?"
"He'll be fine here. The ranger can take care of him. We have to do this now."
Reluctantly, Noah nodded. "Alright. Let's take what we can and go."
We quickly looted extra gear from the cabin. I checked the GPS one last time before we slipped out into the storm, the cold wind battering us.
The snow fell heavily, obscuring our vision as we slogged through the forest. The ranger was nowhere in sight as we made our way towards the our destination, each step filled with trepidatious excitement.
The storm began to die down as we approached the coordinates. We stepped into a clearing where the undisturbed snow lay like a pristine white blanket. In the center stood an ancient, weathered stone altar, encircled by intricate wooden carvings, delicate metalwork, and beautifully crafted statues. The sight was breathtaking, a treasure trove, a veritable museum of paganism.
Noah and I exchanged glances, our eyes wide with amazement. "Do you see this?" I whispered, barely able to contain my excitement.
"We're going to be rich," Noah replied, his voice trembling with awe. "These must be worth a fortune!"
We approached cautiously, as if the vision before us might disappear. The craftsmanship was stunning. I reached out to touch a carved wooden idol, marveling at the detail. "This is incredible," I said, my voice barely audible.
We began to load our packs with as many artifacts as we could carry, each one more exquisite than the last. It was beyond our wildest dreams. We were so engrossed in our task that we didn't notice the small figure watching us from the ridge.
It wasn't until I turned to leave that I saw her. A young girl, maybe eight years old, stood there, her blue eyes wide with curiosity. She was dressed in simple, rustic clothing, her blonde straight hair blowing gently in the wind. For a moment, we just stared at each other.
"Noah," I whispered urgently, nudging him. "Look."
He turned, his eyes following my gaze. "What the...?" he muttered, his voice trailing off.
The girl took a tentative step forward, her eyes fixed on the items in our hands. There was no fear in her gaze, only a quiet intensity that made my skin crawl.
"Who are you?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady.
She tilted her head slightly. "My name is Sigyn."
"What are you doing out here, Sigyn?" Noah asked, his voice shaky.
"I live here,"
"You live here?" I echoed, incredulous. "Is there anyone else around?"
"Yes," she whispered.
"Where?" Noah demanded, looking around nervously.
"Everywhere," she said with a giggle.
The way she said it, so matter-of-factly, bothered me deeply. Noah and I exchanged a look, both of us trying to figure out what to do next.
"We can't take her back to the ranger," Noah started, "We'll lose everything."
I nodded, my mind racing. "Sigyn," I said slowly, "we need to know who else is here. Can you help us?"
She looked at me with her piercing blue eyes, then said, "I'm sorry."
"For what?" Noah asked.
"For what's going to happen to you," she replied, her voice tinged with sadness.
"You need to tell us what's going on," Noah said, grabbing her arm roughly. "Why are you out here alone?"
She looked up at him, unperturbed. "I am not alone," she said softly.
Before we could press her further, a loud, guttural mooing sound echoed through the clearing. We turned towards the direction the girl had come from, and there, emerging from the shadows, was the silhouette of an elk. As it approached, my stomach dropped. Its body was a grotesque amalgamation of life and decay. Its skull was fully exposed, the eye sockets dark and empty. Large patches of its ribs were visible, the flesh around them rotted away.
The elk's movements were slow and deliberate, its head swaying as if in a trance. It walked directly towards us, its hollow eyes fixed on Sigyn. The closer it got, the more the stench of death filled the air—a nauseating mix of decay and earth. I fought the urge to retch.
Sigyn stood up, her expression calm. The monster sniffed her gently, its nostrils flaring. Without a word, she climbed onto its back, mounting it like a horse. It was a surreal and horrifying scene ripped straight from a nightmare.
As she settled onto the elk, she looked back at us, "A thief in the night shall reap what he sows," she said, her voice carrying an otherworldly echo. "Beware the price of stolen dreams."
With that, the beast turned and began to walk away, Sigyn riding it into the shadows of the forest. We stood there, frozen in place. The realization that we were in far over our heads began to sink in. This started to feel like a trap.
We need to get out of here," My voice trembling. "Now."
We turned to leave, our packs heavy with the pilfered goods. But as we took our first steps, the forest around us seemed to come alive. Shadows moved among the trees, and whispers floated on the wind. I quickened my pace, glancing nervously over my shoulder.
"Did you hear that?" Noah asked sharply,
"Just keep moving," I commanded.
A figure emerged from the shadows, blocking our path. It was a man, tall and gaunt, his eyes burning with an intense light. "Where do you think you're going?" he asked, his voice cold and menacing.
"We're leaving," I stammered. "We didn't mean any harm."
The man smirked, and with a swift motion, he raised his hand. More figures appeared, closing in on us from all sides. We were surrounded.
"Run!" I shouted, shoving Noah forward.
We sprinted through the forest, branches whipping at our faces and legs. The figures pursued us, their footsteps silent and relentless.
Noah stumbled and fell, his pack spilling open. Statues scattered across the ground, glinting in the moonlight. "Help!" he cried, scrambling to gather the items.
"Leave them!" I shouted, pulling him to his feet. "We have to keep moving!"
But it was too late, their hands seizing us. I struggled, kicking and thrashing, but their grips were too strong. They forced us to the ground, binding our hands with rough, coarse ropes.
"Please," I begged, "Don't hurt us."
The man who had first appeared stepped forward, his eyes gleaming with amusement. "A thief in the night," he mocked.
They dragged us through the forest, the trees closing in around us like a cage. We were at their mercy.
In the distance, I could see the elk standing at the edge of the clearing, Sigyn still astride its back. Her eyes met mine, and for a moment, I thought I saw a flicker of pity. But then they turned away, disappearing into the shadows once more.
We were dragged into the heart of the forest, our struggles futile against the unyielding grip of our captors. As we broke through the treeline, a massive bonfire came into view, its flames licking the night sky. Shadows danced around the clearing, cast by the flickering light. A woman stood at the forefront, her presence commanding.
Her eyes were milk white, devoid of pupils, and her long, flowing white hair cascaded down her back. She was completely naked, her skin pale and marked with intricate symbols. Atop her head, she wore an elk skull, its antlers extending like eerie, skeletal fingers. She beat a drum emblazoned with more of the same cryptic symbols, each thud resonating deep within my chest.
Around the fire, about two dozen people stood, all drinking from crude, horned cups. Their faces were solemn, eyes fixed on the woman as she led them in a haunting chant. The atmosphere was thick with a mix of reverence and intoxication.
We were forced to our knees before the woman, who paused her drumming to look down at us. Her gaze was haunting, as if she could see into the very depths of our souls.
"Who are you?" Noah demanded, his voice trembling.
The woman ignored him, raising her arms to the sky. The chanting grew louder, the rhythm of the drum faster and more frenzied. The air around us seemed to vibrate with energy, the flames of the bonfire growing higher and more intense.
I glanced at Noah, fear mirrored in his eyes. The woman began to speak, her voice low and melodic, but filled with power, in a language I couldn't understand. Suddenly, she stopped, lowering her arms. The chanting ceased, and an silence fell over the clearing. She looked directly at me, her white eyes unblinking.
En tjuv i natten skördar vad han sår, akta dig för drömmar som du stjäl och får.
Hans skratt bevakar lundens gömda stig, där skuggor sveper över skogens liv.
För varje stulet andetag och svek, måste en tjuv möta sitt smärtsamma ödelek.
Tricksterns vilja, vår ande här, så i hans nåd, våra liv bär.
I was terrified and confused. She started again, softer, in a way I could understand.
A thief in the night shall reap what he sows, beware the price of stolen dreams.
His laughter guards our hidden groves, where shadows cloak the forest's seams.
For every stolen breath and lie, a thief must meet his painful end.
The tricksters will, our spirits tie, so in his grace, our lives suspend.
The crowd surged forward, grabbing Noah first. He screamed, his terror echoing through the trees as they pulled him towards a makeshift altar beside the bonfire. The woman chanted louder, her voice rising in a hypnotic rhythm as they began their gruesome work.
They stripped him of his shirt and bound his arms to a wooden frame. I tried to move, to help him, but the grip on my shoulders tightened, pinning me to the ground.
The woman approached Noah, holding a knife with a blade that gleamed in the firelight. She started to slice into his back, her movements deliberate and unhurried. Noah's screams pierced the night as she methodically carved the shape of wings into his flesh.
Blood poured from the wounds, soaking the ground beneath him. The crowd's chant grew louder, almost drowning out his cries. I watched in horror as the woman reached into the incisions, breaking the ribs and pulling them outward, creating a parody of wings.
Noah's agony was unbearable to witness. His screams turned to whimpers, his body convulsing in pain. The woman didn't stop until the work was complete, his lungs exposed and hanging grotesquely from his back.
They lifted Noah's broken body and placed him over the fire. The smell of burning flesh filled the air, making me gag. His life ebbed away as the flames consumed him, the once vibrant light in his eyes fading to nothing.
The woman turned to me, her expression devoid of mercy. "You will meet the same fate," she said, "He demands it."
The smell of burning flesh and the sight of his broken body over the fire was seared into my mind. Despair settled over me as I closed my eyes.
A deafening blast shattered the night. My eyes flew open to see the shaman stumbling backward, a gaping wound in her chest. She collapsed to the ground, her white eyes staring lifelessly into the void.
The villagers turned in shock as another shot rang out, this time hitting one of the men holding me. I twisted free from their grasp and saw the park ranger standing at the edge of the clearing, a pump-action shotgun in his hands. He fired again, the sound echoing through the forest, before one of them tackled him to the ground.
"Run!" he shouted, his voice raw and desperate. "Get the hell out of here!"
I didn't need to be told twice. I sprinted into the darkness, the chaos of the clearing fading behind me. Branches whipped at my face, and the snow underfoot made every step a struggle. I could hear the sounds of fighting and gunshots, but I forced myself to keep moving.
The cold air burned in my lungs, but adrenaline pushed me forward. I didn't stop until I reached the station, my legs threatening to give out from under me. I burst through the door and slammed it behind me.
Inside, Carl lay where we had left him, his face pale and twisted in pain. I stumbled to the radio, my hands trembling as I fumbled with the controls.
"Mayday, mayday!" I yelled into the microphone. "This is an emergency! We need help! Please, someone, come quickly!"
Static filled the room, punctuated by my ragged breaths. I repeated the call, my voice growing more frantic with each passing second. Finally, a voice crackled through the speaker. "This is Ranger Station Bravo. What's your location? Over."
I could barely form the words. "Olympic National Park! The ranger station near mount Christie! We're under attack! Please, send help!"
"Copy that. Help is on the way. Stay put and stay safe. Over."
I collapsed to the floor, my body trembling with exhaustion and fear. Carl moaned softly, his eyes fluttering open. "What… What happened? Where's Noah?”
Tears streamed down my face and I found myself choked up. “He’s gone, man. Help is coming.”
The minutes stretched into an eternity as we waited. The wind howled around the station, and every creak and groan of the structure set my nerves on edge. I couldn't shake the feeling that we were being watched, that the forest itself was closing in on us.
The radio crackled again, this time with a different voice. "Helicopter en route, ETA fifteen minutes. Prepare for extraction."
I glanced at Carl, his eyes filled with confusion. "Hang on. We're getting out of here."
As the minutes ticked by, I couldn't help but think about the ranger. He had saved my life, but he hadn't made it back. My mind conjured up images of what might have happened to him, the cultists overwhelming him in the darkness. A sense of guilt gnawed at me, knowing he had sacrificed himself for us.
The sound of rotors cut through the night, growing louder as the helicopter approached. I ran to the window and saw its searchlight piercing the treetops, scanning for the station.
I helped Carl to his feet, supporting his weight as we made our way to the hatch. The helicopter hovered above, lowering a rescue basket. The wind from the rotors whipped the snow into a frenzy, but I didn't care. Salvation was finally here.
We secured Carl in the basket first, and I watched as he was hoisted up, disappearing into the safety of the helicopter. My turn was next. I realized that I was now alone and exposed. Fear coursing through me as I scanned around the edge of the forest, expecting to be grabbed and taken seconds before my rescue. But the moment never came. As I gripped the rope, I took one last look at the forest below. The flames of the bonfire still flickered in the distance.
I was lifted into the air, the ground falling away beneath me. The helicopter's crew pulled me inside, and I collapsed onto the floor still holding onto my pack, my body finally giving in to exhaustion. The doors closed, and the helicopter banked away, leaving the horrors of the park behind.
Weeks had passed since the harrowing events, but the memories clung to me like the bitter cold. I had returned to civilization, seeking solace in the familiar chaos of the city. I found a wealthy collector through a network of contacts. The artifacts fetched a price tenfold the cost of gear. The money was substantial, but as I held the cash, it felt like a hollow victory.
Noah's absence weighed heavily on me. His disappearance was chalked up as a missing persons case, and despite my best efforts to explain what had happened, no one believed me. The authorities conducted a search of the area, but they found no trace of the cult, the artifacts, or the clearing. It was as if the forest had swallowed up all the evidence.
I returned to the site where we had parked the truck. The dirt bikes were gone, stolen by opportunistic thieves, but the truck remained. I drove back in silence, the road winding through the dense forest. For a moment, I thought I saw the girl watching me from atop a ridge until I realized it was just paranoia. I stepped on the gas a little harder.
Back home, I checked the Tomb Raiders forum again. The post that had led us into the forest was gone, deleted without a trace. I messaged the mods, but apparently, they don’t keep records to maintain confidentiality. I wrote about our experience, detailing every terrifying moment, but the responses were skeptical at best. Most dismissed it as a work of fiction or a desperate cry for attention.
Time passed, and I tried to return to a semblance of normalcy. Yet, the wilderness called to me stronger than ever. It was my sanctuary, the only place where I could find peace amidst the turmoil. I spent more and more time outdoors than ever before, but now it always felt like I was just running from something.
Determined to prove what had happened, I returned to the forest with a camera and recording equipment. This time, I documented every step, capturing footage of the trees, the snow, and the eerie silence that hung in the air. I retraced our path, hoping to find the clearing again. But each night, as I reviewed the footage, something strange would happen. The files would be corrupted or entire segments missing.
I pressed on. I found the site where Noah had fallen, the ground still bearing faint traces of what had happened. I set up the camera and began to speak, recounting the events in detail. As I spoke, a cold wind swept through the clearing, and the camera's screen flickered. I finished my account and turned to check the recording, only to find the file corrupted once again, the footage replaced by static and a faint, mocking laughter.
I returned home, defeated and exhausted. My attempts to share what I had experienced were met with disbelief and ridicule. The files I managed to save were corrupted beyond recognition. It was as if the forest itself was conspiring against me.
Almost exactly one year later, as I browsed the forums, a new post caught my eye. It was cryptic, eerily similar to the one that had led us into the nightmare. It spoke of another trove of artifacts, hidden deep within the wilderness, waiting to be claimed.
The post was signed with a new name: Skygge. Different handle, same style. Another trap. They had taken so much from me, left scars that would never heal. I opened my drawer, my fingers brushing over the cold metal of my weapons. This was the moment I had been waiting for. This time, I'll be ready.
The forest’s secrets won't remain hidden forever.

So I'm M29 started swimming back in 2003 non stop till 2012 then got back in 2018/19, I had to stop for many reasons mainly logistical and financial, Today i had my 1st session since 2019 in a local semi-olympic pool and I'm feeling indestructible, i forgot how much i loved swimming and how much it's been a core part of my childhood, i felt like i was finally home. I was too excited and forced myself a bit (didn't do any physical workout since 2021), i was just happy to be swimming again and soon i learned my athletic limits lol and I'm okay with them, now i know relatively what my goals will be. I swam a total of 650m: 200m freestyle, 100 backstroke, 150m breaststroke and the rest with a swimming board between my legs and swam only with my hands back and freestyle (the last two were to release back pain). I'm gonna do 2 sessions of 1h30 a week and i can't wait for the next session even tho the subscription makes 10% of my salary. I'm so happy till the point I'm sharing this with you guys even tho I'm a passive scroller, I'm open to all advices and tips from you guys about what to eat and stuff like this. Sorry for the long post.
TL;DR: I'M BACK TO SWIMMING AFTER 5 YEARS AND I'M SO HAPPY ABOUT IT.

I have,had painful severe treatment resistant depression.after along trial journey in now on a maoi for three years that's performing miracles I still enjoy discussing reading learning substances how they affect the bran and basically pharmacology
I think back and remember the time frustrated I went the all natural route and the tons of stuff I tried
I rember how almost everything has a great amazing profile but never really lived up to it most had subtle effects if any.there were exceptions like kava for example,one exception though unlike kava was definatly strong but unlike kava for me was horrible I rember DMG if get the main brand can't rember the name but like a green and white box? Anyeay I rember it was made to be sublingual and after putting DMG under my tongue like a prescription med the effect was robust fast and potent I kept using it for a while because A it was something that actually worked B wasn't quite sure how I felt about it effects then I learned just how strong it was,the INSOMNIA.the insombia from dmg was so intense i mean i coulf not sleep a wink upon taking just a singular sublingual tab.iknew it wasn't just me as I tricked my brother into taking one and he immediately came and yelled at me ,what the hell did you give me I haven't slept in days ? Not sleeping allowede time to really evaluate DMG and. I was finally certain I hated hated it's effects they were extreme potent and depressing!
I. Also know it wasn't me because I'm not positive but I believe it in fact is named from the Olympics and almost in general altogether.
I'm just curious if anyone else messed with sublingual DMG . A had insomnia B noticed it had potent robust fast acting effects C felt it's effects were not pleasant At all ? Ty for reading and in advance for any reply !

14M, I don't really remember my height and weight, White.
After being outside for 4 hours during Special Olympics track meet, I developed a red rash on my legs. I thought that this rash was a sunburn. The rash had a stinging sensation, no unbearable pain. I had a good deal of sun exposure during the event.
Don't take medications, and don't drink, smoke, or use recreational drugs at all.

This is taken from and is copyright protected by globalsoup.net, a website that promotes flash Fiction with annual writing contests.
I am reprinting these Flash Fiction Prompts because they are outstanding ways to freewrite and offer plenty to work with for those who want to learn how to write Flash Fiction.
So check out these prompts and the article and work some of them into your journal! Post the best responses!
100 Awesome Flash Fiction Prompts - Plus Bonus Prompts!
We’ve put together 100 flash fiction prompts, each one designed for a very short story. These prompts will probably be best suited to a story of between 300-1,000 words. If you want to write a longer story using these prompts, you can easily expand these ideas to fit a story of any length.
What is flash fiction?
Flash Fiction is defined as a very short story that can be anywhere from just a couple of words to about a thousand in length. The beauty (and difficulty) of writing flash fiction lies in trying to tell a complete story in so few words. Great flash fiction is succinct, emotive, thought-provoking, and impactful.
What’s the difference between flash fiction and a short story?
The only difference between flash fiction and a typical short story is the word count. However, this scarcity of words means that writing flash fiction can feel like a completely new skill. Just like the short story is a different animal to the novel or novella; flash fiction is kind of unique.
When writing flash, you’ll need to use fewer characters, a simpler plot, and you’ll have to make each word count. This is why editing is so important. You have to be brutal. Cut out everything superfluous and really make sure each and every word is performing an important function in the story. If you’re interested in writing very short fiction, why not check out drabbles? Drabbles are stories of exactly 100 words in length, and they can be a great way to practice keeping your stories very, very short.
How to plot a flash fiction story
When you sit down to write flash fiction, you must begin by choosing an appropriate plot. You cannot simply use a short story plot and tell it using fewer words. A typical flash fiction plot is like looking at one part of a story under a microscope.
For example, let’s look at prompt #21 in our list of 100 Flash Fiction Prompts:

1. Two people on a sinking ship must decide who should take the last seat in the last lifeboat. If you were writing a novel about a sinking ship, you’d probably want the actual sinking to be the climax of the story. Of course, there are infinite ways to write a novel about a sinking ship, but this would structurally be the most obvious. You’d use the first part of the novel to introduce your characters and describe the voyage leading up to the sinking and the sinking of the ship would be the dramatic climax, leaving the last part of the book as the resolution.

The golden rule of writing short stories is to begin as close to end as you can. So, to turn the same story from novel to short story, you’d probably want to begin with the ship sinking. You haven’t got time to introduce the characters before the action begins, so you’d need to feed in exposition and backstory here and there during the events.
All stories need a good climax. So, you would find the most dramatic moment in the story and build up to it. Perhaps your climax would be the two main characters having to decide who will take the remaining seat on the last lifeboat.
Finally, you need a resolution. In a longer short story you do have time to bring in some kind of satisfying resolution at the end.
But, if you’re writing flash fiction and your story is only a few hundred words, you really need to zoom in on one tiny moment in that story.
You don’t have time to tell the entire story of a sinking ship, but you can turn one moment into a story.
We’ve chosen the lifeboat situation as the key moment in this hypothetical story. Two characters must decide which one of them will take the last seat on the last lifeboat. This is an appropriate plot for flash fiction because it’s simple, high-stakes, dramatic, and thought provoking.
Not all flash fiction will have a plot quite this dramatic, but all great flash fiction will have a plot that can be expressed in just one or two sentences.
If you have a plot in mind, but it seems more suitable for a longer story, you can sometimes find several flash fiction plots hidden within it. Just look for little stories within the story, like the lifeboat moment in our hypothetical tale of the sinking ship.
This brings us to our top tip for coming up with ideas for flash fiction stories:
if you’re ever stuck for ideas, you can find little stories within the story in books, movies, and TV shows. A full length feature film might have as many as 20 little incidents in it that could easily be flash fiction.
Don’t directly write a story based on the film, though. Just carefully pick out those little moments, write down what’s happening as a one or two sentence plot, and then use it to inspire your own, completely original flash fiction story.
One of our 100 Flash Fiction Prompts was actually taken from the movie Pulp Fiction!
How to write very short flash fiction
There are several reasons writers might start writing flash fiction. Of course, it could be that they just love and enjoy the form, but sometimes they’ll be a more strategic and practical reason at play.
Perhaps they want to practise the process of writing stories within the confines of a certain word limit. Maybe they are trying to develop a daily writing routine and they don’t have a lot of free time. It could be that they’re trying to break a habit of not finishing writing projects, or perhaps they are entering a flash fiction competition.
Whatever the reason, very often when we sit down to write flash, we must work under an imposed or self-imposed word restraint. We’ve set ourselves (or been set) the task of keeping the story under a particular number of words.
So, how do you plot a flash fiction story when you have to keep your story very, very short.
We’re not going to discuss stories of 100 words or fewer here. Technically, those stories are still flash, however, we prefer to categorise 100 word stories as drabbles and anything under 100 words as micro fiction.
But what if you have to keep your flash fiction story under, let’s say, 300 words? How do you write a flash fiction story that short?
The answer is: get your microscope out again. Remember earlier when we said writing flash fiction is like looking at part of a story under a microscope? If you have to write very short flash fiction, you’ll need to zoom in even further.
Let’s look at a couple of examples from our 100 Flash Fiction Prompts:

1. During a match, a young boxer must decide whether to throw the fight.

If you had 1,000 words to devote to the story, you could have time to tell the story of the entire fight. With only 300 words, it might be better to zoom in on the very moment when the boxer must choose whether or not to go down.
In a longer flash fiction story you might have time to go into detail about why he’s in this situation and why he’s so conflicted. In a 300 word story, you might only devote one or two sentences to his gambling debt and the large sum of money waiting for him if he goes down in the third round, as instructed.

1. A family must decide what to take and what to leave behind as a wildfire approaches their home.

If you had 1,000 words to devote to this story, you might be able to write about the whole process of choosing what to take and what to leave behind. You might be able to mention many different choices and have the whole family participate in the story. You’d be able to go into some details about certain choices and the stories behind individual objects or mementos, as well as the implications of choosing certain things over others.
With only 300 words, it would be advisable to zoom in on one member of the family and to focus on one profound and important choice.
How to write a flash fiction story
Now you have your mini plot, you still need to make sure your flash fiction feels like a complete story. It should still have a beginning, middle, and an end.
Just like a short story, you may need to bring in a little exposition here and there to give texture, context, backstory, and to bring some depth to the characters. But, unlike a short story, you won’t necessarily need to end with a full, detailed resolution. It’s quite common for a flash fiction story to end with a quick twist or plenty of ambiguity.
Flash Fiction is much more about eliciting emotions and provoking thought, than setting up and resolving a complex story.
100 Awesome Flash Fiction Prompts
A young ballet dancer chooses not to tell the other dancers in her troop about a loose paving stone outside their dance studio.
Two sisters realise they’ve both been on a perfect first date … with the same man.
On the car journey home, two parents realise they’ve left their child’s favourite teddy on a park bench several hours away.
A writer suffering from writers’ block looks for inspiration in a strange place.
Set 200 years in the future, a young man realises he’s too emotionally dependent on his robot assistant.
A young woman discovers she’s taken the wrong suitcase home from the airport. The contents of the case make her question her own life choices.
A murderer realises he has only 10 minutes to dispose of a body.
A child decides to walk home by themselves after their parent forgets to pick them up from school … again.
Your protagonist manages to talk the grim reaper out of collecting their soul.
Your protagonist suddenly realises they’ve been living in a simulation.
A young couple has chosen to spend the night in a haunted house to fix their marriage. Your story starts just as things get very weird.
Your protagonist finds a letter they wrote to themselves when they were a teenager.
Your protagonist must decide whether or not to drink from a fountain that erases all painful memories from the mind.
Your protagonist comes across a street called ‘Memory Lane’. They quickly realise the name is eerily apt.
A bride finds out something startling about her future husband an hour before the wedding.
Your protagonist finds an advertisement for a company that promises everlasting youth.
A youngest sibling shows up at a family reunion they weren’t actually invited to.
Your protagonist finds a piece of paper with a spell on it. If they say the words out loud they aren't sure if something terrible or wonderful will happen.
Your protagonist is watching a jazz band play when they realise they know the drummer from somewhere — but where? It takes a whole song for them to figure it out.
Your protagonist must meet their ex for lunch to tell them they’re now engaged. It’s been just a few weeks since they split up.
Two people on a sinking ship must decide who should take the last seat in the last lifeboat.
During a match, a young boxer must decide whether to throw the fight.
Your protagonist must pack their belongings before moving to a new colony on mars.
A pilot realises they have lost control of their aircraft.
Your protagonist doesn’t want to attend their 100th birthday party — and for good reason!
Your protagonist gets stuck in a lift with their ex … 5 minutes after breaking up with them.
A child says goodbye to the fairies in his garden before moving to a new home.
Your protagonist saves someone’s life … and then wishes they hadn’t.
Your protagonist arrives at a blind date. They’ve been set up with someone they actually know a little too well.
Set in a dystopian future in which public displays of affection are banned, your protagonist faces an agonising choice.
An agoraphobic must face their fear in order to save something important.
Your protagonist must make her partner fall out of love with them. Both their lives depend on it.
Your protagonist is hiking with her small children, they come face to face with a grizzly bear and her cubs.
Cinderella and Prince Charming realise they got married too quickly.
A message written in graffiti on a bathroom wall has serious implications for your protagonist.
Your protagonist finds a bag, looks inside, and realises the owner might just be their soulmate.
Your protagonist has been seeing the same stranger everywhere they go for months. They finally decide to confront them.
A couple realise their relationship is over during the trip of a lifetime. They’ve been saving up for the trip for years.
A public debate sees two previously married people letting their private grievances come into their arguments.
Your protagonist plans their escape from a retirement home.
A couple realise their fundamental beliefs are at odds with each other.
An artist develops an obsession with drawing a next-door neighbour.
Your protagonist finds themselves trapped in a cabin with a group of hikers during a heavy snowfall.
An ice skater must face going back on the ice after a dangerous fall.
A couple must decide their plan for New Year’ Eve. They both have secret reasons for their choice.
A family must decide what to take and what to leave behind as a wildfire approaches their home.
Your protagonist is waiting for someone important at the airport. They begin to think that person isn’t going to show up … and then they realise why.
Your protagonist must find their way through a maze. What they find in the middle of the maze is the last thing they were expecting.
An actor waiting in the wings has forgotten his first line.
Your protagonist is wrongly identified as a hero. Do they come clean?
Your protagonist realises their past is catching up with them.
Your protagonist overhears something that has serious implications for them while trying on clothes in a changing room.
Your protagonist is in a costume shop trying to decide what to dress up as for Halloween.
Your protagonist realises they’ve slipped into an alternate dimension.
A surgeon must make an impossible choice on the operating table.
A pregnant journalist interviews the mother of a missing child.
Your protagonist must ask his girlfriend’s father for his blessing, only to discover the father knows his deepest secret.
Your protagonist sees something on social media that will change their life forever.
Two work colleagues realise they’ve been dreaming the same dreams for weeks.
A reluctant daughter comes to terms with having to carry on the family business.
Your protagonist realises she must go on the run.
Two bank robbers disagree on their plan to rob a bank. This leads to a disastrous consequence.
A strange case of deja vous leaves your protagonist convinced of supernatural interference.
A sceptic begins to question their beliefs during a psychic reading.
Your protagonist uncovers a scandal at their workplace.
A hapless cook tries to recreate her late father’s favourite recipes in an effort to feel connected to him.
Your protagonist has a premonition that makes them certain they can’t visit their mother-in-law for Christmas. Now he must convince his husband.
A young backpacker discovers something unexpected in a cave.
An impulsive character and an indecisive character are brought together by chance. They must make an important choice.
Two characters cleaning up after a party discover an object that sheds light on something strange that happened earlier.
Two strangers are trapped together during a blackout.
Your protagonist must take a leap of faith in order to save something important to them.
Your protagonist discovers a huge part of their life has been a lie.
Your protagonist has set up an elaborate way to propose. Inexplicably, everything goes wrong.
Your protagonist must buy a dress for her mother’s funeral.
Your protagonist goes back to her favourite city in the world, only to find it has completely changed.
While stargazing, your protagonist realises the stars are forming secret messages in the sky.
Your protagonist hears a news story on the radio that will mean the world changes forever. However, she seems to be the only person who heard it.
Your protagonist is crossing a frozen lake. They see something under the ice that definitely shouldn’t be there.
A workaholic must come to terms with retirement.
An Olympic athlete must decide whether or not to report their teammate for doping.
A young mother feels isolated from her childless friends.
Your protagonist is about to realise their greatest ambition. Will it be everything they were hoping for?
Onboard a spaceship, a couple prepare to go into stasis for hundreds of years.
Your protagonist has an obsession with thinking about the past.
Set in a post-apocalyptic future, your protagonist meets an unlikely love interest.
Your protagonist visits a place from their childhood and realises their memories of that time might not be accurate at all.
A small child has decided to run away from home. Her parents watch on with amusement as she decides what to put in her backpack.
On a whim, a bus driver decides to radically change his route, much to the chagrin of his passengers.
Dystopian. A couple in love are only allowed to spend time with each other one day a year.
A shapeshifter begins to realise their powers are fading. They must decide what form will be the last one they take before they cannot change again.
The devil visits your protagonist with an offer on her soul.
Your protagonist suddenly has the ability to read minds. There’s only one place they want to go now!
Your very wealthy protagonist has designed a simple test to see who will inherit her estate.
An archaeologist discovers something that will change how we see the history of the world. It could be dangerous. Does he keep it to himself?
Your protagonist must clear out their late mother’s house. She discovers an incredible family secret.
Your protagonist is meeting his brother. They haven’t seen each other for 20 years.
Your protagonist develops the ability to see the world literally through someone else’s eyes.
Your protagonist starts to believe their partner might be a spy.
Your protagonist discovers a hidden camera in their living room.
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A woman loses her young niece in a busy shopping mall.
Three strangers must solve a riddle in order to gain entry to a secret club.
A poor woman must borrow ingredients from her neighbours to bake her husband a birthday cake.
A waiter finally finds out why an old man has been coming to the restaurant where he works every day at exactly the same time.
Two work colleagues must decide which of them is to take the blame for a terrible mistake at work.
Your disgruntled protagonist goes to confront the couple next door about the strange noises they’ve been hearing at night.
A family dinner party sees three characters make three very surprising announcements.
Two women argue over who should get to buy the last dress available in a store. How do they decide who should get it?
A young couple find out they knew (and disliked) each other vehemently as children.
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I may have missed some more recent (late 2023-24) declarations, so let me know if I should add anything I've missed.
Stugotz personal record book. Sorry if the links are expired on some things. They're old.
[Time Stamps] Started to use them in late 2019. They may not be exact based on what podcast app or service you use. But they'll be close.
I DIDN'T ASK FOR ANY OF THIS:

FOOTBALL

(1) UCF is the 2017-2018 national champion.
(2) If Kirk Cousins goes to the Jaguars and not the Jets, no championship he wins will count in the personal record book.
Note (2)(a): Still pending sort of since Kirk is with the Vikings now – possible in future he could go to Jags.
(3) Eli manning has 1 ring. He doesnt get one for throwing a ball into David Tyree's face / Tyree getting a football stuck in his helmet.
(4) Carson Wentz has a Super Bowl 52 ring.
Note (4)(a): Foles does not have a Super Bowl 52 ring.
(5) The Raiders defeated the Patriots in their divisional playoff matchup in 2002 (Tuck Rule game), and then would defeat the Rams in Super Bowl 36.
Note (5)(a): In this scenario also, Bill Belichick was also "fired and looking for a job" after the Tuck Rule game and has 0 rings.
(6) If the 2017 Patriots won Super Bowl 52, James Harrison would not have a ring (Patriots lost to Eagles).
(7) Peyton Manning has one ring (Broncos ring does not count).
(8) Peyton Manning must give such ring he lost (above) to Von Miller, who thus has 2 rings.
(9) Aaron Rodgers can have all the rings he wants for keeping all of central Wisconsin employed.
(10) Brian Billick has 0 rings (2000 Ravens Super Bowl) because that defense carried him.
(11) Tony Boselli is a Hall of Famer.
(12) Tarik Cohen is an honorary Jew.
(13) JuJu Smith-Schuster is also an honorary Jew. L'Chaim.
(14) Drew brees has three rings for winning the super bowl for the city of New Orleans.
Note (14)(a): There was discussion on this where the number started at three, went up to five, came down to two, but it ended up at three.
(15) Mike McCarthy has no Super Bowl rings.
Note(15)(a): Dan also has this in his record book, and it is the first entry into the Le Batard Personal Record Book.
Note 15(b): In fact, McCarthy has -3 (Negative three) rings.
(16) Any Super Bowl rings Antonio Brown gets with the Patriots will not count in the Stugotz personal record book (9/9 Weekend Observations National Hour 2).
(17) Ohio State's 76 to 5 victory over Miami (Ohio) on 9/21/19 does not count.
(18) Due to Bill Belichick's 219 wins with Tom Brady, Bill's week 7 2023 victory over the Bills was actually his 81st victory and not his 300th victory.
(19) The 2002-03 Miami Hurricanes actually won the Fiesta Bowl/BCS National Championship game against Ohio State.
(20) If JJ Watt joins the Texans for the 2024 season or later on, none of the Super Bowl rings will count in Stugotz's personal record book

BASKETBALL

Kevin Durant
(1) If Westbrook wins a championship and beats Kevin Durant along the way in the playoffs, Westbrook will have won 2 championship rings.
(2) "STRAP IT ON BOYS, GONNA TAKE YA FOR A RIDE:"
Kevin Durant has 0 rings (Zero rings)
Kevin Durant has -1 rings (Negative 1 rings).
Kevin Durant has -4 rings (Negative 4) (As of 4/11/18)
Note (2)(a): This number is subject to change based on Stugotz altering rings to the "-4" current total. Specifically as seen recently when Stugotz adjusted the number from (i) 0 rings to (ii) -1 rings to (iii) -4 rings.
Note (2)(b): Here is a tweet transcript of the conversation where this was discovered.
Archive link
(3) If Kevin Durant wins an NBA title for the NY Knicks, he will gain 11 rings.
Note (3)(a): As seen above in "(2)," Kevin Durant has -4 rings.
Note (3)(b): [Math] If Durant were to remain at -4 rings, and subsequently win an NBA title for the Knicks, he will have 7 rings total. This was specifically stated (-4 + 11 = 7), and a question about a non-specifically stated Personal Record Book entry is posed below in "Note (3)(c)(i)."
Note (3)(c): If the Golden State Warriors had won a championship playing 3 on 5 with Kevin Durant, Kevin Durant would have 1 ring.
Note (3)(c)(i): [Confusion] I am unsure if "Note(3)(c)" means he would gain +1 ring, and therefore be "up" to -3 rings total. Possibly, Stugotz means if the Golden State Warriors had won a championship 3 on 5 with Durant, Kevin Durant would be at +1 rings total (Positive 1 rings).
(4) Kevin Durant's dagger in Game 3 did not count, because according to Stugotz, none of Durant's stats count. KD's official statline last night was 0/0/0 and the Cavs blew the Warriors out by 40.
(5) Anything Kevin Durant has done with the Warriors so far is not in Stugotz' personal record scroll.
Note (5)(a): Stugotz did not take his feathered pen and write anything in his scroll (King Roy approves).
(6) Westbrook has ALL of KD's rings.
(7) For every time KD says he doesn't give a BLEEP, Stugotz adds 2 "I do give a BLEEPS" in the personal record book.
(8) Per Dan, speaking on Stugotz' behalf, Kevin Durant has no Olympic Gold Medals (9/18/19 National Hour 1 @ 00:07:50).
Michael Jordan
(1) Jordan has 9 rings because:
(a) The Rockets have to give their 2 rings from 1994 and 1995 to Jordan (+2); and
(b) The Bulls would have won the 1999 Finals over the Spurs if Jordan didn't retire (+1; 9 total).
Note (1)(a-b)(i): Put LeBron's rings in a box and put Jordan's rings in a box. Jordan is +6 by the way over LeBron box-minus, despite box-minus sounding like a dumb stat.
(2) Michael Jordan was suspended for 2 years for gambling (Said 4/25/18 Hour 2, 14:30 in podcast).
Note 2(a): HOWEVER, MJ still has 9 rings as see above in (1)(a) and (1)(b).
(3) Any game Michael Jordan played wearing the uniform #45 does not count.
LeBron James
(1) If LeBron James goes to the Golden State Warriors, every Championship he wins will result in a deduction of 2 previously won championships.
(2) The Miami Heat LeBron teams were the GREATEST teams in the history of sports (5/7/18 Local Hour).
(3) The Miami Heat LeBron teams were also the MOST INTERESTING teams in the history of sports.
(4) If, after the 2018 NBA Playoffs:
(a) LeBron does not make it to the finals and the Celtics do; and
(b) The Houston Rockets do not make it to the finals and the Warriors do; and
(c) LeBron goes to the Houston Rockets for the next season, THEN
LeBron is allowed to win rings that count in Stu's personal record book.
Note (4)(a-c)(i): HOWEVER, Harden & Chris Paul - if they remain on the Rockets with LeBron on the team - are not allowed to have any of the rings won with LeBron count in Stu's personal record book.
Note 4(a-c)(ii): To quote the big man Stu (with Dan agreeing of course), "Do it on your own” (Dan agrees here).
(5) If LeBron wins an NBA Championship with the 2018 Lakers roster (as of 7/23/18), then that wins counts for 6 rings.
Note (5)(a): Thus LeBron would have 9 rings.
Kyrie Irving
(1) Kyrie Irving hit one of the biggest shots in NBA Finals History, but was only in that position because of LeBron James. Kyrie Irving, did hit one of the biggest shots in NBA Finals history that won everyone on that team a Ring, except for you (Kyrie). (3/9/20 Hour #3; Google Podcast @ 07:00).
Note (1)(a): Stugotz: "A little revision to the uhhh Stugotz Personal Record Book that I'll come around to writing...or Mike will." I'M WRITING IT YOU IDIOT MORON JACKAL
Misc. Basketball
(1) The Houston Rockets have 0 (Zero) NBA Championship victories.
Note (1)(a): See "Michael Jordan (1)(a)" for reasoning.
Note (1)(a)(i): [Restated Reasoning] Michael Jordan is actually in possession of those 1994 and 1995 Rockets rings because Michael Jordan would have won those championships if he stayed in Chicago.
Note(1)(b): [CONFLICTING HOT TAKE] Stugotz has also said Jordan didn't get the Rockets' rings because he was actually suspended for gambling.
Note (1)(b)(i) NEEDS CLARIFICATION PLEASE. Stugotz keeps going back and forth. In "Michael Jordan Note 1(a)," the opposite of "Miscellaneous Basketball Note (1)(b) is stated because he has gone back and forth on this issue.
(2) Steve Kerr has no rings as a coach. In fact, he has never even coached a game.
(3) Mychal Thompson (Klay's dad) has no rings. (Said on Zach Harper podcast).
(4) Clyde Drexler no rings (Said on Zach Harper podcast).
(5) Giannis Antetekoumpo is pronounced Yani Adababoombo.
(6) As long as James Harden has his beard, he cannot win any championships.
Note (6)(a): If the Rockets win a ring, then the ring goes to the beard.
(7) Lamarcus Aldridge cost the Spurs game 2 of the 2017 Western Conference Semifinals, even though they won.
(8) If the Sixers happen to win a championship, Sam Hinkie gets a ring.
(9) Chris Paul has NOT made a Western Conference Final since he had to join the Rockets to do so.
(10) Michael Jordan winning the NBA Finals in 1999 also means that Tim Duncan only has 4 rings instead of 5 rings.
(11) The Warriors only have 1 ring
Note (11)(a): Durant still has -4.
(12) Boogie Cousins cannot win a NBA Championship and have it count if he does so with the Warriors.
(13) Billy Donovan was the NBA Coach of the Year in 2017 (12/13/17 @ 28:10 Hour 1).
Note (13)(a): The Thunder blowing the 3-1 lead to the Warriors that year had nothing to do with Donovan. It was Durant's fault.
(14) The OKC Thunder actually did win the WCF against the Warriors in 2017 when up 3-1.
Note (14)(a): This does not apply to Durant though.
Note (14)(b): The Thunder also beat whoever they would have played in the Finals. Durant still no ring.
(15) Embiid has his 2023 MVP taken away and given to Jimmy Butler.
(16) Caitlin Clark's NCAA all-time scoring record still belongs to Pistol Pete because unlike Pistol Pete, Caitlin didn't do it in 3 years and she did it with a 3 point line.

BASEBALL

Babe Ruth
(1) Babe Ruth is black.
(2) Babe Ruth never hit a baseball. Not once.
(3) Babe Ruth is the number two black baseball player of all time behind Barry Larkin.
(4) Babe Ruth is NOT a top 20 Baseball player of all time. He's a pitcher.
Note (4)(a): However This is somewhat confusing/interesting because:
(i) Stugotz has said "Babe Ruth is the number two black baseball player of all time behind Barry Larkin; and"
(ii) This MUST mean Stugotz can only have 1 black player in his top 20 Baseball players of all time Barry Larkin; because
(iii) The only way this can work logically is if in the list of greatest players #1 through #20, only Barry Larkin is on the latter top #1 through #20 list. I would like some clarification on if he wishes to change this take/record.
(5) Babe Ruth is also not a top 20 pitcher of all time.
Misc. Baseball
(1) Stugotz has declared that in his personal record book, Baseball no longer allows pitchers to hit (Stated on 05/03/2018 @ 12:38:52 P.M).
Note (1)(a): Excludes Bartolo Colon, and Shohei Ohtani.
Note (1)(b): You are either a pitcher or a hitter. Not both.
(2) If the Dodgers won the 2017 World Series Clayton Kershaw would not have had a ring.
(3) Wade Boggs DOES have a ring because he rode around on a horse with a beer afterward.
(4) Clayton Kershaw did not win an MVP award because the award for pitchers was already given, the CY Young award.
(5) Miami beat LSU in the 1996 College Baseball World Series.
(6) The 1986 NY Mets did not win the World Series against the Boston Red Sox.
Note (6)(a): This "pains" Stugotz.
(7) The Red Sox retroactively winning the 1986 World Series may result in taking a ring away from the Mets.
Note (7)(a): Stugotz has to think about it though, he's not sure yet.
(8) Bryce Harper did not win the 2018 home run derby because he cheated.
(9) Kershaw's Earned Ring Average (ERA) is 0.00.
(10) Mike Minor (Rangers Pitcher) does not have 200 strikeouts in 2019. He's at 199 (National Hour 2, 10 mins 40 seconds in).
Note (10)(a): Chris agrees too. And who really cares (15% on poll do care).
(11) The 2020-2021 Mets, during the Coronavirus outbreak, are 0-3 and Jacob deGrom is somehow 0-1 with a 0.00 ERA and 1 complete game. The deGrominator. (Google Podcast 3/30 Hour #3 @ 19:20)

HOCKEY

(1) Ray Bourque doesn't have a ring.
(2) Alex Ovechkin may or may not have won the Stanley Cup against the Vegas Golden Knights.
Note (2)(a): "I mean he beat an expansion team . . . bunch of players nobody wanted" (We get the sense that Dan agrees).

TENNIS

(1) If anyone wins a major in Female Tennis without Serena Williams playing, it does not count and they have 0 rings.
(2) If Maria Sharapova wins a grand slam in which Serena isnt competing it doesnt count.

GOLF

(1) If Jason Day wins the 2018 Masters, it counts as an American winning (as far as bets are concerned).
(2) Vijay Singh did not play in the 2018 Masters.
(3) Steph Curry did not win the 2023 American Century Celebrity Golf Championship Tournament . Mardy Fish was the real winner.

SOCCER

(1) Lionel Messi is stripped of all his achievements for using HGH. He never played soccer. He is still 5'1". "Fraud."
(2) Soccer is dead.

NCAA DIVISION 1 WOMEN'S LACROSSE

(1) Rachel has more rings than Kevin Durant

MISCELLANEOUS

(1) Aqua?
(2) Rings plus-minus is the only way to measure greatness.
(3) The HBO Andre the Giant film was good, not great, and Stugotz didn’t learn anything.
(4) Benoit Lecomte (guy they interviewed) can not and will not swim from San Francisco to Tokyo in the personal record book because he is most likely taking a dip for a few minutes then coming back on the boat and enjoying some filet mignon by the pool.
Note (4)(a): "Do it without a yacht. And how about ya do it without the little magnetic field around you that keeps sharks away. How bout that. Allows dolphins through though? Anyway.."
(5) Justify (the Horse) only has a double crown.
Note (5)(a): This is the first ever double crown.
(6) Tango and Cash is in the action movie Hall of Fame. and Cliffhanger has the greatest 5 minute intro of any movie of all time.
(7) Maximum Security (a Horse) won the 2019 Kentucky Derby.
(8) Fruit Stripes Gum is NOT a 1st Ballot Hall of Famer in Stu's "Gum Hall of Fame." (08/12/2019 Hour 2 @ 15:25).
Note (8)(a): "It loses it's flavor so quickly"
Note (8)(b): Also, "[...] Bazooka...1st Ballot Hall of Famer." Also, "Big League Chew..1st Ballot."
(9) Chris Cote owns all intellectual property rights to the "Friends" (TV Show) Movie with a misleading preview that eventually has a climax leading to an intense murder mystery. (10/29/19 Hour #2 @ 03:15).
Note (9)(a): "If they make this without crediting Cote, they're stealing it."
(10) That guy killed the pigeon (12/10 Hour 3 @ 08:20).
(11) Billy owns the record for world's longest Plank (2/25, Hour #3; Google Podcast @ 30:55).
Note (11)(a): Possibly in just the Non-Marine edition.
(12) Zach Buchanan won a Pulitzer Prize for his story on the Madison Bumgarner / Mason Saunders rodeo fiasco (2/28/20 Hour #2; Google Podcasts @ 21:35).
(13) Findlay the Golden retriever holds the Stu Gotz Personal Record Book record for most tennis balls held in a mouth at one time by a dog at 6 (2/11/2020)
(14) Ace Davis (The kid who "proved" Tom Brady was cheating with science) and his fathefamily are heroes (4/1 Hour #3; Google Podcast @ 18:50).
(15) Dan did NOT do more push-ups than Domonique Foxworth (Dan did push-ups on a non-linear platform) (4/28/2020 Hour # 1).

SPORTS MEDIA DREAM TEAM™

Sourced from Google Podcast; 05/06/2020, Hour 2 @ 09:00
(Head Coach) Ernie Johnson - "When you look over to the bench, what you need is someone to stand tall, someone who is confident, someone who is competent, someone who has all the credibility -soaked in credibility - when you have the Head Coach of the Sports Media Dream Team."
(1; Point Guard) Mike Greenberg - "Doesn't really want to answer the big questions, but has no problem distributing those questions to other people who are happy to answer them."
(2; Shooting Guard) Stephen A. Smith - "Never met a topic he doesn't like. Short memory, doesn't care, Greeny could throw him anything and Stephen A. is gonna run with it even if he knows nothing about the topic. That is how it works. Stephen A. is the greatest of all time."
(3; Small Forward) Chris Fowler - "A do it all guy. Studio show? Great. Play by Play? Even better. Can do everything."
(4; Small Forward Replacement) Maria Taylor) - "Need Play by Play, need Sideline, need Studio Host - she can do it all"
(5; Power Forward) Dianna Russini - "You need some crazy, some don't mess with us, someone to tear someone's head off in the event that they come after one of us."
(6; Power Forward Replacement) PFT Commenter - "He just comes in and acts crazy, throws his arms and hair around, and give ya 5 to 10 really crazy minutes."
(7; In honor of the Chicago Bulls, Stugotz needed a Wennington, a Purdue) Scott Van Pelt - Dan debated whether or not SVP should be on the Sports Media Dream Team™. That's what he's doing.
(8; Bench Player w/ No Position Specified) Doris Burke
(9) Teased...

I’ll try to keep this short as I can, I’ve made several posts over the years. I’m just feeling defeated and confused.
I’m currently a 25(M), and had a microdiscectomy on L5-S1 for a 20mm+ herniation (I don’t remember the exact size) in June 2022. Prior to that I was extremely active, I played college water polo up through the December 2021 season. Swimming for cardio is something I’ve done all my life and want to continue, I hate running.
I have a hard time remembering what the pain was like back in February 2022, but it must have been pretty bad since I wasn’t able to exercise (I have a high pain tolerance).
Post surgery was fine, I started walking again, getting back to work and normal daily activities such as running errands. Starting PT after 6 weeks (July 2022) and that was a brutal process I was so stiff and tight. I’ve never been very flexible.
The following 6-7 months, I solely did PT, stretched, and walked every day. Got to where I’d go for 4-5 mile walks at a 16 min pace. In February 2023 I began lap swimming again, this time I didn’t do flip turns, decided I’d just do touch turns to not put my back in a flipping motion. I started very slow and just did about 20 laps/500 yards (which is nothing compared to what I would do in the past).
From February 2023 – June 2023 I just slowly eased into swimming, got back to swimming 2,500+ yards. I also began lifting again, doing light machines and light weights. Did weight training at my PT office to make sure I was doing things correctly.
June 2023 – December 2023 I did well, I was swimming and lifting 4-5x a week. I might have been overdoing it but I felt fine. I’d do 30+ mins of pt warm up and stretches before swimming to make sure I was warm, then would do some lifting after I swam. I was doing some free weight stuff (bad idea) and was swimming fast again. I felt good and I felt like I wanted to start training again to play competitive water polo again.
December 2023 – was doing some light 10lb RDLs that I’d learned at PT. Hadn’t done them in a while and wanted to change it up for my hamstrings. After one set I felt some pain and discomfort in my back, something I hadn’t felt in a while and knew something was wrong. I stopped Immediately.
Went to the Dr. and got another MRI. New MRI shows disc herniation of 6mm at L5-S1 significantly smaller than the original. My surgeon told me it wasn’t surgery worthy and that it wasn’t compressing my nerve, and I don’t have much pain so I agree. He said many people can live with them, and they don’t even know, but I need to listen to my body and modify etc.
January 2024 – Since then I went back to PT, tried to come up with a good game plan for safe forms of exercising. It was hard to accept, but I decided I’d stop trying to push playing competitive water polo again for health reasons. I started slow again, swimming 3 times a week very slow and building up laps every week. I now do light machines to keep myself tone, that’s all I need and am happy with.
March 2024 - I got back to swimming 4x a week at a slower pace, I can maintain good form but still get winded. And I’ve been lifting 4x a week, all somewhat light weight all on machines. My feet are grounded, and my back or chest is against padding for support. Still do PT warm up stuff ahead of time, and stretch and roll out my glutes, hamstrings, and hip flexors after.
April 2024 - I felt pretty good, just general stiffness when I wake up sometimes, and some days I get some achiness in my lower back and glut area but I accept that’s normal.
PT thinks my gluts and hip flexors are weak and my backs compensating for them. I guess I trusted them and agreed to do what thy said. But they started having me do back squats which made me nervous but felt fine. I started doing those several times a week. Then they had me start do incorporate hip trusts for my gluts, either with the barbell on my waist or using a machine at the gym. Then they wanted me to start doing weighted RDLs again and that’s where I drew the line. I was confused how if that’s how I hurt it in December then why would I do it again. They tell me I can do anything as long as I have good form, but I’d rather not risk it. They make it seem like I need to do them to strengthen my muscles and learn to load my spine again.
The surgeon told me no deadlifts and no hip thrusts. He said goblet squats are fine. It just made me not trust PT anymore. No matter what I tell them they tell me it’s normal and say I just need to get stronger. I felt like since doing some of the leg stuff I was getting stiffer and achier, so I wanted to get a second opinion
May 2024 – My dads good friend is a sports medicine professional, and he referred us to a good doctor he knows/went to school with in my area, he studied medicine at UCLA and works with sports and Olympic teams. I went to visit him to get some clarity on what exercises in the gym are safe for me to do and what to stay away from or maybe a new PT that he trusts. I was shocked when I went last week, he looked at my MRI results and said I have the herniation at L5-S1 and another 5mm herniation at L4-L5 that my surgeon didn’t even mention. The new doctor said I was having muscle atrophy from nerve compression and it could be serious and could need another surgery. He put me on a 6-day steroid pack and said if it relieves my symptoms then there would be some hope without needing another surgery. I have a call with him tomorrow to follow up on how I feel.
I’m confused. I don’t have bad symptoms. I’m stiff and my hamstrings are tight, but they loosen up during the day. I don’t really have any radiating pain down the leg. So, I can’t tell if the steroid even helped because there wasn’t much there to begin with. Over the last 6 days it hasn’t been as achy and tight when I get up in the morning, but honestly, just doing my daily activities such as going to work, walking around, etc. I don’t notice it at all. It’s just when I do certain movements like bend down, or twist a certain way, or lean backwards, then I feel some stiffness and pulling in my lower back and glut, but it doesn’t go down my leg it’s all centralized in my lower back. I don’t feel as achy and stiff so that’s good, but my QL and left glut still are a little achy when I think about it.
I’m just confused and frustrated. My surgeon told me in January there was no nerve compression and didn’t mention the second herniation. But then this new doctor makes it seem very severe and now I’m nervous. I’m frustrated that squat, hip thrusts, etc. have maybe been making things worse and I wonder If I need new imaging to see if they’ve gotten worse over the last 5 months. My dad’s friend who referred us to the new doctor also read my MRI report and said he would agree that if I don’t have that bad symptoms that my results wouldn’t suggest I need another surgery.
As I mentioned, up until a week ago I’ve been swimming 2,500 yards and doing some machine lifting 4x a week. And the symptoms aren’t bad, a little tight when I stretch and warm up, such as getting up off the ground after stretching I’m kind of stiff standing up straight again. Once I swim it loosens up and might get a little tight, but overall feels better after.
Just been a long two years since the surgery, and I don’t want another it was the most depressing thing I’ve ever gone through. All I want is to be able to swim some laps for cardio purposes (which I assume is safe) and then do some light machines at the gym to keep myself tone and have some muscle definition. But I want to know what machines are safe/what types of exercises to stay away from.
I know this is a long read. But any thoughts and Insight would be helpful. Thanks