Blu cigs electronic cigarettes stroudsburg

https://youtu.be/SZqrspeHfgo?feature=shared https://youtu.be/nQ5jhUM8M6U?si=8Xt4MmzwbG7V0HKI So the story: Me and my sister were watching our at the time 3 year old sister while our parents ran errands. Our mom put this on and left, my sister and I continued watching our phones until we heard the god awful voice acting. Me and her both said "Why do they sound like they have been smoking cigs for 45 years" and " This sounds like the creator went to a white trash trailer park and offered free cigarettes". (we are half white, just thought I would add that to the context so I won't get people upset for being "offensive") Worst part wasn't the god awful plot or voice acting. It was the fact we couldn't find the damn remote.

Context: Me(26M) and her(27F) met in our common friend's birthday (simple get together and drink), the venue is somewhere in Ortigas and I forgot the place because I'm from Cavite but it's his house. At first I honestly turned on by her because of the sex appeal (almost 5 feet long haired with tattoos on her both arms) but I'm too shy and nervous so my friend helped me to know her.
After that, my social battery went out so I find some place that I can recharge. I bought some cigarettes and got myself a drink and just sat down outside the house while they are business drinking and talking. I freaking love the moon so bad and while drinking (also recharging my social battery) I can't help but to think about life. All of a sudden she just pop out in my back saying "Can I have some cig ?" So yeah I gave her then she just sat beside me asking what's my deal in life, how did I know our common friend, etc.
Honestly my brain isn't functioning very that time because I was tipsy (on the verge of getting drunk) and I'm just smiling like a fucking idiot while she was talking, and then she asked me "what's wrong ? Are you messing with me ba or what ?" And I replied "no, it's just you are so fucking cute while you talk". And yup, after few shots I was definitely drunk and kissed that girl. The last thing I remembered is that we're making out in the back of her car, after that we go inside the house like nothings happened.
The party ended around 3-4 am I think and I kinda want to go home because I have something to do, didn't know that she's waiting for me outside and asked if I want to come with her and get another drink somewhere. Me being a self-destructive human being I came along, we arrived at this bar (around cubao) and drink few bottles of beers. I puke like a fucking looser after that and she just laughing at me, some puke got on my shirt and pants so she offered me that I just stay at her condo. Okay whatever, after I washed myself and the clothes I went to her sofa to sleep. I thought she's sleeping too but things got out of hand, yes we do the deen on her sofa. At first I was scared because I didn't bring any protection in me but she assured me that it's fine coz she's taking pills for her PCOS.
After that scary pregnancy thing, we do the deed few times. Until it wears me out, myself slaps me hard as fuck ! Aside from recently break-up with my girlfriend I have personal issues (and mental issues) that I need to resolve and yes PANGIT MAGING ESCAPE ANG FUBU/ONS/FWB/ETC. After a few days of not talking to her, I found the courage to talk to her personally and end the FUBU set up with her. At first she begged, but I stopped her, I kinda traumatized with people who beg in front of me coz I remembered myself.
After few weeks of cutting her off, she called me and wants to meet again and I said no, do you think that I do the right thing ?

Please search any of the following mods on Nexus Mods - Fallout: New Vegas:
Working on the Chain Gang ESM-74958-2-1-1667158496"
WRP - Hotfix-38285-2-2-5-1590168045"
YUP - Base Game and All DLC-51664-12-9-1701436279"
0_80 Hot Fixes-37376-1"
01 T6M Natural Curvy Body (Nude) BB BNB-81346-1-5-3-1-1705542430"
45 Auto Submachine Gun Retexture - Honest Hearts-73064-1-1-1626897328"
360 Movement BNB Animations-75535-1-0-1652574707"
1911_v_1_dot_2-50184-1-2"
A Koch and Bohr Story v1-1-45886-v1-1"
a Smoke before the Storm-82578-2-0-1692819504"
A Thorny Situation v1-0-46048-"
A Wilder Wasteland v1-0-46158-v1-0"
A World Of Pain 6.94-38719-6-94-1685580176"
Afterglow -- LightBright Strip Overhaul Tweaks-83736-1-01-1700333095"
Afterglow -- Neon Illumination-83736-1-0-1699663621"
AK47_v1_1-48392-1-1"
AKS74U_upd1-47648-1-1"
All Explosion Sounds Overhaul BSA and YUP Patch-66946-2-0-1581616735.1"
All-in-one-66955-1-1557788582"
Alternative Start 1-5-45739-1-5"
Ammo box-42551-1-1599021340"
AN94_v_1_0-49600-1-0"
Animated Ingestibles (english)-70139-4-1-1684674884"
ASBTS Scripted Cigarettes-83077-1-1-1705445898"
Asset Pack-71569-13-1644876932"
Asurah Reanimation Pack 0.2.3.2-64339-0-2-3-2-1610371277"
Asurah Reanimation Pack main-64339-0-2-1"
Autumn Leaves-50146-1-030"
AWOP - A World of Pain - Underpass fix-78038-1--1660962454"
AWOP Compatibility Patches-38719-6-01-1556669314"
AWOP Dead Money 2.0-38719-2-0"
AWOP Weapon Mod Patches-38719-6-01-1590590935"
AWOP WRP Patch-38719-6-94-2-1669589734"
AWOP-MoMod-41361-10a"
B42 Inertia V1.2-64335-1-2-1615691254"
B42 Inject-80437-0-15b-1692435172"
B42 Interact-83119-0-14b-1695964659"
B42 Loot-82369-0-15b-1695243927"
BB Cigs-42551-"
Beige Pack-42551-"
Beretta92fs_v1_0-50837-1-0"
Better Brotherhood - YUP Patch-75031-2-4a-1701456413"
Better Brotherhood-75031-2-4a-1701449472"
BetterBetting1mCapDeadMoney-64920-1-1"
BetterStandUp-76443-2-1703547706"
Blood by the Dollar Patch-74958-2-0-1667064117"
BMF 1.01-56742-1-01"
BNB_Armor-35047-1-0"
BNB_BiggerBreasts-35047-1-0"
BNB_Body-35047-1-0"
BNB_Update1-35047-1-0"
BoSUnforgotten-60624-v1-1"
Breeze New Vegas Males - AIO-48222-1-8"
Brotherhood and Legion Truce-74086-5-3-1690769947"
Brotherhood of Steel Paladin Quests-69713-V1-1597789294"
Brotherhood Reforged - Fixed and Cleaned-83339-1-0-1696455793"
BrotherhoodReforged"
Bulk's Sound Pack - Footsteps-77766-1-2a-1700949655"
BulletSnap - Redux - espless 1.2-78967-1-2-1689600460"
Bushmaster_M4A1-48451-1-0"
Camp McCarran Map Markers-42860-1-0"
Camp McCarran monorail animation stand alone version-70213-2-00-1609887871"
Caravan Guard Remastered-83590-1-0-1698523589"
Caravan Guard-58721-1-2"
Caravan Pack Weapons Ironsight Fix-64339-0-1"
Casino Crowds-71037-1-2-1614893989"
Casino Crowds-71037-1-2-1614893989.1"
Casino Heists New Vegas 1.6-59896-1-6-1660648020"
Casino Posters and Signs HD-84302-1-0-1703875632"
Character Kit Remake - Hair-82147-1-0-1690857031"
Character Kit Remake - Hands-82148-1-1-1691365351"
Character Kit Remake - Teeth-82146-1-0-1689501066"
Classic Fallout Weapons Remastered V1.2-73805-1-9-2-1692128971"
Classic Goris-83439-1-0-1697179223"
Classic Pack Weapons Ironsight Fix-64339-0-1"
Coito Ergo Sum 4.20 FULL VERSION-56156-4-20-1677188838"
Common globe-42551-1"
CompanionsCommander_11-36523-1-1"
CompanionsInfiniteAmmo-37602-1-1"
CompanionsTeleporter-36523-1-05"
Compass Height Indicator-67068-2-0-1693172382"
Compatibility Patch for VGO 1.3 and Roberts Male Body FNV 3.4-68500-1-0-1584792648"
Compatibility Patch for VGO 1.4 and Fallout Character Overhaul 3.0-68500-1-2-1584907027"
Compatibility Patch for VGO 1.4 and Van Graff Hostility Fix-68500-1-1-1585586406"
Config INI-71569-13-01-1698109570"
Daniel - Unique Textures 1-1-83624-1-1-1698892210"
Dead Money DLC weapons ironsight fix-64339-0-1"
Decaying Ferals-83726-0-01-1699482598"
Deimos V1_05-43411-1-05"
Desert Eagle v1.0-56745-1-0"
Dimonized Type 3 AIO Installer-54438-3-5-1561863093"
Dismemberment Tweaks-80369-1-1678531588"
DLC Followers - All-In-One-74426-1-1-1-1637325547"
Download-55283-"
Dragunov SVU v 1.0-57297-1-0"
Dramatic Inertia - 3rd Person Movement Overhaul-82035-1-3-1702856996"
Dramatic Staggering-84262-1-1703548049"
DSI-48094-1-1a"
Duct Tape-42551-"
Earthblighted Tunnelers-84319-0-01-1703987665"
ELECTRO-CITY v12A-37908-V12A"
Energy Visuals Plus 2.0 -- EVE Patch-83105-1-0-1695161808"
Enhanced Blood Textures-34917-2-22c"
Enhanced Bullet Impacts-61804-1-0"
Enhanced Camera 1.4c-55334-1-4c-1544995335"
EVE Patch-64339-1-18-1610475958"
EVE v1.19-42666-1-19-1623957051"
Expanded Mojave - Mojave Outpost-82713-1-0-1692710596"
Eyes of Torment - Ghost People Retexture-83768-0-01-1699826217"
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Factions Reloaded Raiders V2.2-52309-2-2-1689369283"
Fallout 4 Power Armor Features-65417-1-8-4-1657830228"
Fallout Character Overhaul 3.0-54460-3-0"
Fallout Character Overhaul purple mouth fix-75842-1-0-1648161122"
Fallout New Vegas ArchiveInvalidation Invalidated-35935-beta"
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FCO - Caravan Guard-77070-1-1655374739"
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FCO - Russel Addon Expansion-70303-1-0-1604611326"
FCO - Russell Expanded-76048-2-4-1649309173"
FCO - The Last Few Edits-63465-1-2-1611445902"
Fire hydrant-42551-"
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FNV Quantum Sling v1.0-70770-1-0-1609894292"
FNV Realistic Wasteland Lighting All DLC-52037-v5-542-1542790908"
FNV Sexual Innuendo Animation plugin v003-36659-003"
FNV Sexual Innuendo NPCs plugin version 007-36659-007"
FO4 PA Features The Frontier-65417-1-8-3-1627853330"
FO4 Power Armors - FNV Compatibility Edition"
For The Enclave 4-0-39531-4-0"
FPS Lowering Weapons-80995-1-6-1701642566"
FPSWeaponWheel113-39997-1-13"
Freeside Overhaul - Episode I-81389-V1-1-1686100362"
FrontierAddons Combined All-in-One-71201-v2-1-1658540525"
Frozen Hit Rockomotion-79828-2-0-2-1678764575"
Functional Post Game Ending-66726-6-6-1703283263"
G36K_v_1-0-56125-1-0"
GRA WRP Unofficial Patch Ironsight Fix-64339-2-1"
Great Khan Graffiti Redone-83348-1-2-1696615291"
Greater Khans - Fixed and Cleaned-83352-1-0-1696538553"
GreatKhanGreatOverhaul"
Gun Runners Actually Run Guns 1 dot 8-42503-1-8"
Gun Runners Arsenal weapons ironsight fix-64339-0-1"
Height Randomizer Config-78278-1-0-1662456628"
Height Randomizer-70159-1-1-1604323492"
HH 45 Retexture-83233-V1-01-1695902562"
HI-RES Chems and Health ReTexture Pak-40302"
HiRes Skill Books Retexture V1.0-61273-1-0"
Hit - B42 Inject - Meat Anims-83906-1-1701225186"
Hit - B42 Inject - Sunset Sarsaparilla Animations-83993-1-1701797503"
Hit - B42 Inject Anim Pack - Season 1-80531-1-0-1679595175"
Hit - B42 Interact - New Vegas Bounties I LE-83096-1-1695504537"
Hit - B42 Interact Animation Pack-83096-1-01-1695579668"
Hit - B42 Interact Animation Pack-83096-1-01-1695579668.1"
Hit - B42 Interact Skinning-83161-1-1695497868"
Hit B42 Inject - Random 1-84439-1-1704730621"
Hit Marker Sounds - ESP-77268-release-1656730677"
HK_CAWS_v1_1-48433-1-1"
Honest Hearts DLC weapons ironsight fix-64339-0-2"
Honest Hearts Signs HD-82969-1-1-1697133032"
Hoss Mods - Sanctuary HH Home-70186-1-1-1646726106"
Hotfix Version 0.6.5-68009-0-6-5-1619083228"
Humping the Mojave v003-43773-v003"
If it wasn't for Betsy 2.5-59265-2-5"
If It Wasnt For Betsy-46574-v0-1"
Iguazu Shopping Center v2-62317-2-0"
IMI Galil 1.0-59635-1-0"
IMI_UZI_v_1_0-48523-1-0"
Immersive Hit Reactions
Immersive Recoil 2.0
Improved Console-70801-3-1702935922"
Improved Lighting Shaders-69833-1-5beta4a-1668774269"
Interior Lighting Overhaul 6-9-35794-6-9"
Iron Sight Recoil Animations kNVSE-75581-2-0-1673050083"
ISControl-75417-2-3-1688602677"
ISInertia v1.1-83648-1-1-1705167646"
Jacobstown Expanded-36421"
Jacobstown Lodge Suite-79949-1-1675869578"
Jacobstown Pond Fix-64103-1-0"
JacobsTown-51927-"
Jet Pack Effect for Aerial Assault Armor-50829-"
JIP LN NVSE Plugin-58277-57-21-1694289677"
JohnnyGuitarNVSE-66927-4-98-1701208963"
Joshua Graham Companion MAIN-56791-1-3"
Joshua Graham Outfit 2K Retexture-74202-1-0-1635320209"
JSRS Sound Mod 2.1 - Main File-81585-2-11-1689512817"
KatieNPC ENGLISH version 2_6 FULL-45150-2-6"
KEYWORDS-83088-1-01-1695964898"
Khan Assets (more pronounced signs)-72798-V1-1624577442"
Khans Forever-82521-v1-0-1691702006"
kNVSE-71336-20-1632181674"
KOTR Version 1 dot 04-56353-1-04"
L96A1_v_1_1-50805-1-1"
Lazarus - SMI Gun Runners V2 (Collision Fix)-75562-V2-1-1647360702"
LegionTerritoriesExpanded-68527-1-0-0-1584907535"
Level 100 and Perk Per Level-43055-1-3-1550210717"
LightBright Strip Overhaul-77093-3-1-1694229498"
Lime's Fort Overhaul-73749-1-20-1632706091"
Live Dismemberment
Lucky 38 Suite Reloaded Version 4.8 ESM-55540-4-8"
M14_v1-48477-1-0"
M37 Ithaca v1_1-47457-1-1"
MAC Beta Sexual Innuendo-36759"
Main File - All you need-45557-1"
Main File - Total Package Update 10-23-2021-50751-018-5-8-1635004434"
Main file-62682-0-2"
MainFile-74132-1-3v-1645220297"
Marcus Companion 0_80 Full-37376-0-80"
markers1b-36689"
Master Build-68009-0-5-5-1614054783"
MatebaModel6_v1_2-48499-1-2"
MauserC96_1dot1-48317-1-1"
McCarran South Gate Restored-71708-1-7-3-1625866293"
Melee Sounds-77766-0-5-1678726237"
Mikeburnfire's NPCs and Quests-70988-1-1-1676463261"
Millenia AK74 Patch-64339-0-1"
Millenia AKS74U Patch-64339-0-1"
Millenia Colt M4A1 Patch-64339-0-1"
Millenia Desert Eagle Patch-64339-0-2"
Millenia HK CAWS Fix-64339-0-1"
Millenia L96 Fix-64339-0-1"
Millenia M-14 Patch-64339-0-1"
Millenia M37 Ithaca Patch-64339-0-1"
Millenia PPSH-41 patch-64339-0-1"
Millenia Remington 870 Sawn-Off Patch-64339-0-2-3-1610376337"
Millenia STEN MK2 Patch-64339-0-1"
Millenia TOZ66 Patch-64339-0-1"
MLF-68714-3-1-1691312308"
MMRE ESPs-44139-1-0"
MMRE Music Pack 1-44139-1-0"
MMRE Music Pack 2-44139-1-0"
MMRE Music Pack 3-44139-1-0"
MMRE Music Pack 4-44139"
MM's Hit Marker SFX-84498-1-0-1705158422"
MNTLs Energy Weapons Sound Pack 1_3-52684-1-3"
Mojave Delight For Type3 V1dot1-44312-1-1-1666593552"
Mojave Express Courier Delivery Work - Primm-77176-2-5-1689168964"
Mojave NPCs-72615-2-2-1703969750"
Monster Mod Re-Release-41361-10b"
Mop bucket_flat mop-42551-"
More Perks Reimagined-76584-3-0-1-1652840544"
NAWEMO-65499-1-3-3-1626792344"
NCR Rearmament Lore-Friendly 1_5-40139"
Nefarious Nipton-80578-0-2-1684856493"
Nevada Skies 2281 Rework-35998-Final-Rework-1622851359"
Nevada Skies 2281 Rework-35998-Final-Rework-1622851359.1"
New Vegas Script Extender (xNVSE)-67883-6-3-4-1696621396"
New Vegas Stories New and Alproved-66505-1-2-1552144100"
NivSpiceofLife-V 1_2-44476-1-2"
NMC_NVInteriors Compatibility Patch Small v2.0-43534-v2-0-1551560025"
NMCs Textures NV LARGE Pack Part 1 of 3 FOR NMM -43135-1-0"
NMCs Textures NV LARGE Pack Part 2 of 3 FOR NMM -43135-1-0"
NMCs Textures NV LARGE Pack Part 3 of 3 FOR NMM-43135-1-0"
NMCs Textures NV MEDIUM Pack Part 1 of 2 FOR NMM-43135-1-0"
NMCs Textures NV MEDIUM Pack Part 2 of 2 FOR NMM -43135-1-0"
NMCs Textures NV SMALL Pack SINGLE FILE FOR NMM-43135-1-0"
Novac Gun Runners-74981--8-1684355606"
Novac Overhaul And Gun Runners Emporium NV Novac Apartments Compatible patch-74981-V-08-1662917931"
NPCs Sprint In Combat-68179-2-13-1623455074"
NPCs use Aid Items-68742-2-3-1605058088"
NV - Energy Visuals Plus 2-80000-2-3-1685437455"
NV Novac Apartment - Main-55531-1-48-1586720487"
NVAC - New Vegas Anti Crash-53635-7-5-1-0"
NVBI Version 1 dot 55-37310-1-55"
NVBII Version 1 dot 47-41184-1-47"
NVBIII Version .954 FULL-55744--954"
NVCS Installer-68776-13-1675087064"
NVCS Installer-68776-13-1675087064+2"
NVInteriors Core v2.1.1-43534-v2-1-1--1551573205"
NVK Version 1.0-56408-1-0"
NVR V10-35100"
NVR VMinimum-35100"
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Old World Radio part 5-47577-3-5"
Old World Radio part 6-47577-4-0"
Old World Radio part 7-47577-4-5"
Old World Radio Update X Minus ONE Radio added-47577-2-0"
Old World Radio Update Rangers Radio added-47577-3-0"
Old World Radio Update The French Connection Radio added-47577-2-5"
Old World Radio-47577-1-5"
Outside Bets V 1-4-46648-V1-4"
Pacers Gambit V1-0-46584-V1-0"
Pancor_Jackhammer-47528-1-0"
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PKM 1.0-57253-1-0"
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Populated Camp Golf and McCarran-81283-1-1685088310"
Populated Casinos Medium-35369-V0-96"
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Populated Strip Freeside and Casinos Light Version-81408-2-1688967130"
PPSH41_1_dot_0-49910-1-0"
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random stimpak-80705-1-1680953623"
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Remington870SawedOff-47255-1-4"
Robbable Caravans-69863-1-3-1599748714"
RobCo Certified-43331-1-26-1629323936"
Roberts AIO - NMM Compatible-48535-1-3"
Roberts Boner Addon 3_3-54731-3-3"
Roberts New Vegas Main - Nude 3_4-54731-3-4"
Rotface to Riches v1-2-45799-V1-2"
Ruger SR-556-55872-1-2"
Run the Lucky 38 V3-0-40531-3-0"
Russell Version 1.17-50107-1-17"
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Hey all! So I wanted to give a part two since I'm not high now lol, and also I wanted to clear up some things and add in some other details I left out that I just remembered. If you haven't seen the first part of this post then I suggest going to that, otherwise you'll be very confused. Also, I forgot to add this in my first post but DON'T READ if triggered by certain topics like r*ape, SA, murder, abuse, etc. Another thing is, this post is going to be a lot darker and aside from talking about what happened, I'm also looking for advice on my mental state and how to cope. So please read with caution because I'm going to be talking about what happened with B, but also about my past before him and how what happened is affecting my past trauma.
So, I'm not going to retell the whole story but I am going to be bringing up a lot of parts from it and things I didn't realize until after the incident happened. And some of the things I didn't think of until my friend brought it up. So in my first post, I was talking about how B (26M) was REALLY into Jeffrey Dahmer. Well, in the show we watched with Evan Peters, I noticed a lot of things Jeffrey did as well as already knowing a lot about him before watching it. I noticed that B was doing a lot of things similar to him. Now, I forgot to add in this part last time, but B was really 'straight phobic.' Now I'm a bi transman but I don't hate cis / straight people. In fact, a lot of my friends are cis and in straight relationships. For some reason though, he did, to a weird extent. And even though he was being respectful in the beginning, I'm starting to get a feeling he wasn't actually gay or cared about trans people. Because it seems as though ALL of his former partners were transmen. Which isn't that weird I guess, and he did tell me he tried dating a cis man before but it didn't work. After I met him in person he was telling me that he really liked his trans partners to still have sex vaginally and he liked tits. So, I was kind of confused at that. I think what was really going on was that he isn't gay but wanted to be so he could be like Jeffrey Dahmer. I know it's a bit of a stretch, but you'll see why later. So another thing is, Jeffrey would always ask his potential victims to go back to his place for drinks and to take photos, particularly sexual ones. Jeffrey would then lace the drinks and go on to do weird things to his victims while taking their pictures. And while I was trapped at his place, B kept pushing alcohol on me, A LOT. So much so, that when I kept refusing he started getting angry. However, once I pretended to take a sip it was like his whole attitude changed. He also kept joking it was laced, like EVERYTIME he offered me some. Even though I didn't actually drink any, like I said in the first post, I still got a few drops on my lips and in my mouth. After that I started to get a headache and was a bit dizzy. Also, he had told me before that he liked to take pictures of his partners in sexual poses while they held his guns. Aside from the guns, that's EXACTLY WHAT JEFFREY WOULD DO. For some reason, I didn't piece any of this together until afterwards. I guess I was too shaken up to think clearly. I said this before as well, but when I first entered his house, it was pitch black and he had black out curtains on EVERY WINDOW in his house. His bedroom, living room, kitchen, I mean his whole house made it seem like it was night outside. Another thing that is eerily similar to Jeffrey, is that B told me before I met him in person he always liked dating someone younger. I, at the time, was nineteen and he was twenty five, about to turn twenty six. I honestly don't know what was wrong with me so have not seen the BIG RED FLAGS in the beginning, but he played it off so well I didn't even notice them until after everything happened. And it isn't like me to go for older guys, I usually try to go for someone two years older or younger than me, as I don't like have a huge age gap between me and my partner. Anyway though, Jeffrey always went for younger guys, as well as sometimes KIDS. So, that's another thing similar between them, as well as the fact that B told me he was into little brother play. Where he makes his partners act like a younger brother during sex, etc. He also told me he liked for his partners to SUCK ON BINKIES. BRUHHHH, no thanks bro, I'm good. See, if it was just one of these things that he liked / was into, then I guess it would be normal. Just a guy into a weird ass kink, but all these things combined just did not sit right with me as well as how he was acting. Now, I said in my other post that basically the ENTIRE TIME I was with him, he had a weird ass expression on his face that made me uncomfortable. I wish I could explain better, but it was like constipated / confused look, like Edward from Twilight when he does those weird facial expressions. His brows were always furrowed and he looked like he was uncomfortable / anxious the whole time. He was being super sketchy. His body language was just really off-putting and made me feel weird. And the thing he kept ranting about the most was how Jeffrey Dahmer was misunderstood and just needed someone to be there for him, and then maybe he wouldn't have killed people. The thing that scared me the most was how he said he felt the same way, that he wished he could just have someone not leave him and how he had trust issues after his former partners. Especially the one I mentioned in the last post, about how his ex partner before me snuck out in the middle of the night and got his family to come get him. His family lived across the country, so it had to have been pretty bad for his ex to call his parents and tell them to come get him. Because they drove across multiple different states to come pick him up in the middle of the night so he could sneak away. I have a major feeling that B left out a lot of their fight and why his ex actually left. Not to mention while I was with him, he watched every move I made and wouldn't let me get on my phone without him seeing what I was doing / texting to people. I have a feeling if he thought I was trying to leave him he would've done something bad. Just like Jeffrey. Jeffrey wouldn't always hurt his victims (Not at first anyway) it was always when they said they had to leave that he would get angry and force them to stay. So, idk man, I could've been killed or worse. Also, I know I said I could've been killed or worse, and some of you are probably thinking what's worse than being killed? Well, to me, a lot of things he could've done would have been worse. Especially if he was trying to be like Dahmer, then I could've gotten acid injected into my brain or been r*aped. Which is exactly what I think he was trying to do, with how much alcohol he was trying to push on me. He also kept 'petting' me and touching my thighs while he told me all the ways he'd kill me 'if he was a serial killer.' I genuinely think that something bad would've happened if I didn't have one HELL of an excuse to leave. Because honestly, my mom couldn't have given a better excuse for me to go that also sounded real and not like a lie. Because, like I said before, I had told him before I met him that my mother had health issues and was always in and out of the hospital, so it was perfect that she used that as an excuse. He got really cold and wasn't speaking to me when he heard my phone call and that I had to leave, but I think if I would've tried to leave without that excuse or by giving him an obvious lie, then I might not be here. I'm also super grateful to my best friends who let me come to their place and stay late instead of going home. Me and my best friend, basically my sister, have talked about this a lot since it happened and every time we do, we try to rationalize why someone would act like that, other than being an actual serial killer / r*pist. But we can never think of a reason besides the fact that he simply is what he seems like. A really unhinged person who could've hurt me badly. Also, this was my FIRST TRUE experience in online dating and I honestly think I'm never going to try that again. I've run into so many creeps trying to date online, AND in real life. Most people who aren't trans probably don't realize or know this, but there are a lot of men that want to do really weird and fucked up things to trans people because I guess they think we are some mutant or something, or 'the best of both worlds.' I've run into them a lot, and when I met B, I thought that was over. I thought I had met an actual good person who was educated on trans topics and was respectful of my boundaries and my body. Nope. Now I'm starting to think dating, at least where I live now, is almost impossible and I think I'm going to be alone for awhile. :') Not to mention, I'm now traumatized after what happened with B, and I already had trouble trusting men, and just people in general. Before meeting him I have already been SAed before, multiple times. I guess I'm simply asking for advice on how to move on from something like this. I was trying, and doing kind of ok, moving on from things that had happened before I met B, but now after what happened with him I feel like I'm back sliding and it's making me relive all my past traumas. I basically trust no one, when it comes to sexual things, besides my two best friends I've known since childhood. I tend to over sexualize everything, even things that aren't sexual at all, and get scared around ANYONE, even family members, who I know deep down don't see me like that. I was also abused as a kid and wasn't able to get out of it until I was eighteen, and I've only just turned twenty now, so it wasn't even until two years ago I was still being abused. I feel I've fallen into the dark again and my panic attacks have gotten worse again. I feel depressed and I didn't realize until recently that I'm suicidal again. I didn't realize it until recently, because when I was younger and suicidal, I knew I was. I've tried unaliving myself before so I didn't think about it because I don't feel that way now. It's different this time. Instead of my thoughts directly wanting me to pull out a gun and, ya know, this time it's more subtle and more of a subconscious action. Like closing my eyes for a few seconds while driving. Or intrusive thoughts about ramming head first into the car in the other lane. Or going hiking and thinking of what it would feel like to step off the cliff. I'm honestly just tired. I feel like every person I meet has some kind of ulterior motive, whatever it is. I'm working at a really nice job but it seems like every time I save up money and am doing good for my future, I have to use it on something unexpected that pops into my life. I'm living with my grandparents for now because they said they weren't going to charge me rent, and I'm super grateful for that, but even still I can't keep money and I kind of just don't see my future anymore. Both my parents were drug addicts, my mother to pain pills then xans after that, my father was mainly an alcoholic but also did meth, pills, and other things. It doesn't help because when I was younger, around my early teen years (13-16) I started smoking cigs when I was 12, then I started smoking weed, which I still do, but then it got worse and I've tried xans, snorting pills I didn't even know what they were, drinking, and I've even done shrooms and LSD. I've also had some really bad trips on LSD that made my severe panic disorder worse and after that I now disassociate a lot too and have trouble knowing if I'm in reality while having a panic attack. And after what happened with B, his house and the smell (Cigs and booze) just reminded me what it was like living with my parents in that crack house looking trailer. It's like my brain won't let me let go of the past and move on. It's like I'm constantly stuck there still. And aside from dating, it's also super hard to meet people as friends where I live. I love my two best friends, one of which has been with me since we were basically fetuses and her parents and mine were friends, so her parents were also abusive drug addicts. It's nice to have someone so close and how we can relate to what we went through. We joke that we were traumatized by our parents, but also by each other's parents as well lol. Even though I'm grateful for them, you never know what's going to happen in the future and I don't want to be solely dependent on them and be able to make new friends, but I just can't. I feel so alone, and my friend I grew up with has been moved out a lot longer than me and has had time to heal, and I don't wanna keep dumping my mental problems on her because it's unfair to her. I feel like I'm just bringing her back to our past with me. When I moved out, I completely cut ties with my father, I don't even like calling him that, as he was the first person to SA me and he is, in general, and evil person. I try to think that evil people don't exist, but then I think of him and I realize they do. My mom though, is a good person when she isn't on anything. Recently though, I blocked her and haven't talked to her in over a month because she OD again on xans and amphetamines. I kind of realized recently that she is almost as bad as my father, even though I never wanted to admit that to myself. Because when I was younger, I admitted to her that he had SAed me and she kept pressuring me to tell her what happened, like, IN DETAIL. I told her no because I didn't want to relive it and think about it, even now I have a lot of repressed memories. And because I wouldn't tell her EXACTLY what happened, she doesn't believe. I think she does, deep down, but she doesn't want it to be real. And after her OD last month, she tried telling me she didn't and that it was just her BLOOD PRESSURE. LIKE OH MY GOD BITCH, WHY DO YOU LIE? She must think I'm stupid or something. Before I blocked her, I cussed her out over text and said something like "Who do you think was the first person at the hospital? Not grandma, not your husband, ME. I've always been there for you first. Who do you think told me you had OD? The doctors when I first got there!" And she still denies it, even though when me and my friend got the hospital she was lying there naked (they had to cut her clothes off to save her) with a breathing tube stuck down her throat. I've tried helping her my whole life but apparently she doesn't want help. So now I've gotten tired of her BS and I blocked her and now my grandma is pressuring me to talking to her, luckily though, my grandpa went through something similar as a kid and understands how it is so he isn't guilt tripping me into talking with her. I'm just tired of having to put into traumatic situations. My mental health just keeps getting worse. Somehow, trauma always finds me and nowadays, it seems my only friends are my demons. It used to not be like this, but now even when I'm with my two closest friends, I still feel lonely. Like they are reminding me that when I leave my friends, I'm alone again. Anyway, I know this probably isn't the right subreddit for this, but I kind of just started ranting, sorry for that.
Also, to clear some things up, no I don't use drugs, not anymore. I've never really been an addict at all in my life, somehow. I just did drugs because I wanted to escape when I was younger, and thankfully I never got addicted to any of them. Not like you can get addicted to LSD or shrooms anyway. The only thing I've got addicted to was cigarettes, which rn, is the least of my concerns. And as for weed, I used to be a major stoner but it started making my panic attacks worse so I stopped for a few years, cold turkey, and only recently started smoking it again. So, I'm not worried about weed and if anything, it's been helping now. Especially since I don't smoke it nearly as much as I used to. So, for those worried about me being or getting on drugs, don't worry I'm fine. I have made a clear boundary for myself to never do anything besides smoking my cigs and weed. Cause I've seen how drugs affect my parents and others I've known and I've sworn to myself that I won't become them. It also sucks though because I see psychedelics as something that can help a lot of people with trauma, and the first shrooms trip I ever did changed my life for the better. Now though, after my bad LSD trip, I don't know if I can every do them again. Maybe one day, but not for the foreseeable furture. Again, sorry for going on a rant. I'll probably post this to another subreddit and see if anyone can help. I'm not looking for therapy as I don't have the money or health insurance. Just looking for someone who can relate that has been able to move past similar things and find happiness. If you've read this far, thank you. Like seriously, from the bottom of my heart. It means a lot to me that someone would read about another person's problems and life experience. I hope whoever is reading this is having a great day / night wherever you are, and are living your best life. And for those reading that are going through a similar situation right now and can't get out, I promise you aren't alone. I haven't really gotten better, so I can't say things get better, but I can say it DOES get easier. All I can say is, you aren't alone in it. There are others, like me, who know your pain. Keep living, it'll be worth it. Even though I'm not doing my best and my mental problems are still with me, that doesn't mean it's all been bad. I've made a lot of amazing memories after I moved out. Keep going.

The Pentagon is worried and that will also worry Amazon for its Kuiper project, RL could accelerate the manufacturing of Electron and keep the contracts.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2024/05/13/pentagon-worried-ula-vulcan-development/?pwapi_token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJyZWFzb24iOiJnaWZ0IiwibmJmIjoxNzE1NTcyODAwLCJpc3MiOiJzdWJzY3JpcHRpb25zIiwiZXhwIjoxNzE2OTU1MTk5LCJpYXQiOjE3MTU1NzI4MDAsImp0aSI6IjU3MTUyMzg0LTA0OGMtNGI3OC1hMDQ3LTdkMWViMjYwZDcwOCIsInVybCI6Imh0dHBzOi8vd3d3Lndhc2hpbmd0b25wb3N0LmNvbS90ZWNobm9sb2d5LzIwMjQvMDUvMTMvcGVudGFnb24td29ycmllZC11bGEtdnVsY2FuLWRldmVsb3BtZW50LyJ9.e1uqlwNZY2foBluJcdD8kJ26crolsdygHG5VtjZgz8I

Cephalapod Genesis
The pharoah ejaculated into the river and in the sand the sperm found refuge and grew into papyrus. This an example of genesis.
Vampyrapods are the first intelligent species to live on this planet predating the dinosaurs. They came here somehow. They did not evolve on this planet. Perhaps just an ejaculated sperm from another being landing in the water. The direct offspring of this cephalapod is the modern octopus. Octopus are responsible for nearly every animal genesis on earth including humans and subsequently man made inventions and accomplishments. Octopus taught trees to fruit, destroyed the dinosaurs through becoming tapeworms, and even walked to the moon. Some of the animals you may recognize from the cellular genesis may have fused with the other local staples such as canine, equine, and feline, and reptile as well as temporarily the pachyderms in post-actualization causal genesis. This can be done by mating with, killing, eating, dying, being eaten, or simply a laying of hands or physical actions. Octopus only live for about 4.5 years of our relationship with time, but they have beaten death through a mix of telepathy and cannabalism. They've also mastered time travel. There are only 3 actual beings here. Others died in getting here and are fossilized. 2 males and 1 female survived. I call them Jack, Seth, and Claire. This is why the genesis had to completed this way as any direct offspring would not work. because theyve have infinite time to complete it, theyve walked over every inch of the planet and affected every species. In fact our own existence is simply the echo of the combined knowledge of the cephs. We are an amalgamation like the 'too much good stuff' guy from am/pm commercials. Make a bird with your hands. ¿Where are the beaks? The latest project is to use genetic science in order to bring back the mammoth and obtain a sixth digit from its feet. Should happen around 2027. When the vampyrapods first encountered life here it was eating their tentacles. So the first genesis occured in the offspring of those that ate of the tentacles. This is why modern cephs only have 8 limbs. The first language period is Enochian. A language of the eyes and limbs. Through different manipulation of limbs and eye fluctuations communication was made. After a while though telepathy became the established communication.
Here are some examples but not all of cephalapod genesis:
• Spiders (rare from trilobyte mix, had to go back in time to accomplish) (they had to avenge the original vampyrapods from being eaten from early organisms, thisnis how scorpions were able to evolve) • Mango (foilage and ceph mix. Ceph hung from a tree upside down) • Star fruit (the tree missed the octopus and tempted it to return) • Pinecone ( the bite marks of ceph beak eating the fruit of the trees) • Toucan (the beak formation from ceph in flux probably consuming a failed aviary) • Peacock (feather formations still in flux from limbs partial fusion) • Salamander (reptile/chameleon mix) (skin breathing evolution) •Sloth (feline and foilage mix) • Mistletoe bird (octopus ate a mushroom) • Lyrebird (mirage, digitage, and aviary from peacock and pheasant. Mastered the art of sound mimickry to develop better auditory communications) • Dung beetle (rolling backwards the earth through time) • VW bug (trunk up front) (mirage, digitage, pachyderm mix) (invented higher than the model T but arrived later in time) • Goliath bird-eating tarantula ( set a web to catch a bird which did not exist fully until the web was cast. When the spider consumed the bird the psuedo cannabalistic action resulted in a poison tree frog) • Snakes (a ceph lost its mating limb for some reason in a mirage mix experiment) • venemous snakes (a snake ate the eggs of its own offspring)(the cursed dinosaur souls live inside these) • Gumby (using hands to mold clay made a show about being an octopus) • Chameleon (reptile, ceph, foilage, mirage mix)(a ceph was purposely eaten by a komodo dragon to telepathically send a reverse osmosis of its makeup inside its body to another ceph that was attempting to kill the dinosaurs in the past. How they programmed the tapeworm to destroy them)

• Human organs (strife and love and tapeworm mix. Impregnating a mix of canine feline equine, ceph, pachyderm, reptilian, mirage, digitage, foilage, strife and love through years of experimentation lodged themselves systematically into more and more advanced versions and became functional in each iteration) • Sumi ink tattoo ink any ink really • The written word (anemone, sea urchin, porcupine quill, Bird feather and ink. Papyrus) • Floppy disk (suction cup on a piece of mail specifically a bill and the suction cup on the plastic window) • Cd, dvd, blu ray (laying of hands on a television screen) • Television (just a series of ceph exploring life through the inside of a glass tank with mirage and digitage mix) • Movie theater ( same but aquarium instead) • Papillon (love + insect from trilobyte and ink and papyrus needed training wheels to learn how to fly) • Taser (digitage mix of the two extra original tentacles lost from vampyrapod with mix of electric eel which was a detached limb of an octopus that had achieved ball lightning static existence) • Wisteria (ceph and foilage mix) (needed the seeds to play mancala or something) • Water strider (walked on water) • Lunar lander (digitage) (tapeworms in humans directed construction, the first electronic component gestalt high enough to become digital) (a tree really wanted to go to the moon) • Champagne cork (Ate some bark, vent plugged up and had to pee really bad) • Electrostatic Ball (attempting time travel, a ceph was meditating in complete non movement inside a digitized mirage flashing irridescence until it passed away) • Ball lightning (time travel attempt Same ceph tried a pure digitage and mirage mix) • Gnarwal (chameleon tongue, mirage and pachyderm) • Light bulb (ceph + mirage + digitage mix) (octopus crawled into a mirage jar and was irridescent) • Liquor bottle (octopus got stuck in a fulgarite and died temporarily trapping its soul in reflection but the invention of cork escaped it) • Silly string (mirage mix) (angry octopus sprayed another with diarhea from its vent) • Tapeworms (had to brave a walk into a volcano and die. As the octopus melted while running, it evolved the turkey, turkey vulture, vulture, and was just a slithering worm by the time it was engulfed by lava) • The Ten Commandments (vampyrapod fossils brought by a tapewormed moses to show people and try and explain the religion) • Dumbo (actually just a tiny cute octopus) • Hydra from capt america (introducing the public to idealogy of cephs) • Tobacco leaf (the laying of hands on deciduous plantlife, a gift to the early iterations of human) • Cow (equine ceph and pachyderm mix) essentially the Orca ate the Octopus, in its 4th stomach it finally died and so when the cow who has 4 stomachs manifested it came with udders symbolic of the octopus genesis in post actualization-causation • Rapa nui. The end of time. (Great stone heads disembodied) (mirage and strife)the final resting place. A graveyard. A place of rest always available

i can even feel it, the aura, the way she looks at me with disgust, from the moment she wakes up i feel uneasy, in my own room i feel uneasy, as if she’s watching me, i can feel not being welcome, being hated by my own mother. i dont want to stay, i really want to leave, i’d rather be homeless than live with this fucking narcissist any second. she wishes i was never born, she wishes i’d disappear, she wishes she never i was never even conceived, i can see it in her eyes.
this is the first time i call my mother that, i have never insulted her, never yelled at her or even raised my voice, in every “argument” it’s her screaming at me or saying very harsh things and me sitting there, taking it. but calling her that word after years of torment feels good.
she never smiles at me, i dont remember the last time she did, everytime i try to talk sweet to her and show her i love her, she says “i dont talk all lovey dovey” and implies she only knows how to communicate in insults and arguing.
im 18, im supposed to be in college, i cant afford it. i dont know what to do. do i apply to a college abroad? would they take me with my weak passport? my father died in august 2022, things went downhill from there, she became more bitter, she became harsh, and while i understood at first, it is taking a toll on me and i cant take it anymore.
she now torments me for the smallest of things.. like one time i came back from the gym, poured a cup of water, then poured another cup of water because i was thirsty and i had finished my water at the gym. she yells “who drinks like that!!? drink like a normal human.” and while that seems like just a minor inconvenience, the issue is it happens with every small action i make, over and over, daily, every single muscle i move, she has a negative comment about, and that was when i told her to just give me a fucking break.
how about that one time when i was 15, i came out to her about the fact that i was raped as a child, and couldnt say anything because of the extreme fear, and as any normal mother does, she had zero empathy and her eyes and just said “well why didnt you defend yourself?”. im not going to say how that made me feel. im just going to let you guess.
today i came back from friday prayer and got the car washed like she asked, she sees i came home wearing the home sandals instead of the main sandals i wear to go out, both normal sandals, but one is plastic sort of like a croc. she glares at me, raises her voice and says “is this what you wear to friday prayers? wont you dress like a normal person?” implying people were going to stare at my sandals which are taken off during prayers and judge me. i just cant. and when i told her i couldnt find my main sandals and was in a hurry, she said “fucking look for them, i put them right here in this drawer, use your head.”
when i forget small things she mentions, she gets pissed and talks to me in that same tone she always does, and that same glare, even though she knows im riddled with ADHD, but she doesnt care enough to learn a single thing about her son’s mental health problems, not the ADHD, not the BPD, not the chronic depression, all of which im not being treated for, and all of which i have been diagnosed with, all of which she was told and warned about.
did i mention, this one time? i had an insane tooth infection, the right side of my face was VERY swollen for days, i was in the worst pain of my life, i was terrified, and having already experienced an extreme panic disorder and health anxiety, god knows i was afraid of sepsis, and when my blood test results came back and i saw my white blood cell count was high, god forbid.. i panicked. i couldnt control it. i wanted to go back to the dentist, just to let him look at the report and tell me im okay, which was for free, in a dentist that was very close to my home, she didnt like that. she didnt like that i was riddled with health anxiety after spending 30+ minutes on top of my dad’s dead body trying to revive him, she couldnt accept that i had been traumatized. she kicks me out. so here i am, on the streets, face swollen, sleeping and shitting on the street with a fever and diarrhea, wiping my ass with pieces of cardboard, hoping to god nothing bad happens to me because that infection was sucking the power out of me.
she wants me to provide, im trying to provide, im trying to pay her back for the money she spent on me ever since i turned 18, but i JUST got qualified legally for work, and im JUST now able to even look for work, yet she has been shaming me for it before i was legal. so for now, until i find a job, im getting money from my ex, which im not so proud of, but so far i sent her 300 dollars hoping she shuts up, and 300$ is a good amount in my country. but she questions how i got that money, she thinks im selling my body for it. which honestly, im very willing to do at this point, i have a nice body and even though males are not as valuabe in that field, if it makes me money until a place im applying at accepts me, i dont have any morals and i’ll happily do it.
about the money she spent on me, usually food, and gym subscriptions, and an amount of money she spent to get me my driver’s license (which was in her best interest, by the way), did you know that i got nothing of my father’s inheritance? she took it all, no, i didnt even look at it, i didnt ask for it, and she sometimes even reminds me that i didnt deserve it, even though i never fucking had it, and it was a GOOD portion of the inheritance too.
and by the time i was 18, she claimed i blew all my side of the money on going to the fucking psychiatrist to stop me from killing myself, and gym memberships, she loves to talk about some “legally you owe me”, but arent you supposed to spend that much until im 18? legally speaking, since we wanna go that way. legally speaking, dont you OWE me that money? i didnt spend any of it, YOU did, and you’re way more happy to let me drive 140kms to get you packs of cigarettes that are cheaper that arent being sold here, spending a shit ton of gas money, every two weeks, rather than letting me see my girl who by the way offers to pay for any inconvenience for her because she knows how my mother is. but no, its not just the money that bugs her, 25 minute drive to see my girl is too much, but a 2 hour round trip just to spend more money on cigs isnt, right? no, she doesnt want me to be happy, she KNOWS she doesnt pay anything out of her own pockets when i go see my lady, she KNOWS seeing her gets me out of that depressed state, but she doesnt want me to, and when the money excuse gets old, she says “maybe 6 months ago i would have been happy for you, but you simply ruined it, your actions did this”.
actions, she says, or basically, my lack of action, yes mother, im terribly sorry i was born in a country that will not allow me to work until a month ago, im sorry that i couldnt apply to college because i cant afford it, and because i knew nothing about life, lived in the middle of nowhere my whole life and didnt start learning how the world works until i turned 17. you didnt teach my how to ride a bike, you didnt teach me how to defend myself, you didnt teach me how to speak english, you didnt teach me how to fucking swim, you didnt introduce me to any physical activity and fucking locked me at home my entire childhood, with just internet access, until i became overweight as a child, and until i took matters into my own hands and changed that. and guess what? my other two sisters? 9 and 16, one is overweight and the other is OBESE since she was a child. great fucking parenting, leaving a 9 year old glued to an ipad because you never knew how to be a mother. and when i tried to take matters into my own hands and restrict the 9 year old from spending 12 hours plus a day on the ipad doing god knows what with god knows who, so she can have real fucking friends, real life fucking experiences, “give it back. im her mother, not you”. well you’re the reason she’s fat, you’re the reason we all got bullied. maybe introduce the poor kid to a fucking sport? fuck.
and guess what? i kind of hated my dad too. he always called me useless, always had that same fucking stare in his eyes, always yelled at me to shut up and be a man if i ever cried as a kid, so much so that i WISH he beat me, i wish they beat me as a child rather than getting neglected, after my face got swollen at 5 years old from being slapped hard by him in a barbershop, they were too scared to do anything else because of the consequences it would cause them. so they decided to neglect. i wish you fucking taught me how to fight, i see all these dads teaching their boys how to defend themselves and you never taught me how to throw a punch, i had to do it all myself, i had to workout myself, i had to fill that lack of sense of masculinity up by getting as big and scary as possible, i had to teach myself how to not be a fat slob like you taught me anymore, because guess what? they were both fat slobs themselves, no fucking wonder they didnt know how to show their kids healthy habits.
if you think that these stories are just minor inconveniences, i agree with you, but imagine it happening every single day, every single second you’re at home, for years, it slowly builds up and becomes unbearable.

One of the primary things about vape/smoke products that is attractive to me is the actual feeling of the hit being absorbed in the lungs. For instance, smoking tea (yes I've done it as wee lad, long ago) did not satisfy this preference, for it felt as if I had been inhaling nothing. Weed does the trick but I can't smoke it all the time. Cigarettes I used to love and certainly do. For a time I used nicotine vapes and tried some other vape things and found that nicotine vapes satisfied the craving for that feeling of the hit packing a punch like weed and cigs but found that the nicotine-less vapes did not. Now, I'm curious about Fum products. Do they have a noticeable sensation of the hit really landing a reception in the ole air bags? Perhaps as a result of the essential oils that are being used? Or do any other products come to mind? These questions I have and would be delighted if some had answers.

Throwaway because I use Reddit actively with friends and I like to keep family stuff quiet.
So me and my partner (both 22) just got our first place and we’ve spent months making it perfect.
I smoke myself (sometimes cigs if I don’t have a vape but mostly vape) & my partner does not. She absolutely cannot stand the vape smell and it makes her feel sick so we agreed on a rule that we are to smoke outside only. We have a nice big garden with a porch perfect to have a little smoke on & our front is huge as is so there’s no shortage of places to smoke.
We had a house warming get together with family and my dad also smokes. Similar to me a mix of vape and cigarettes but he smokes them both daily. He’ll have a cigarette every so often and usually vapes throughout the day.
Now everyone was warned as they came in there is designated smoking areas, as some other members of the family smoke too. Outside porch, or front by the fountain.
My dad used to vape in the open areas of our house when I lived with them and it drove me insane. Lowe and behold, he vaped althroughout the night despite me telling him multiple times outside only. Closer to the end of the night I ended up physically throwing him out. Not fighting or attacking, just literally moving him out. Bear in mind just my parents and siblings are still here.
After this I told him not to come back unless he’s gonna actually listen and I’ve not heard from him since. I’ve had my mum try to swindle me into talking to him and said I was acting like prick. Now I don’t want to make it out like she took his side because she did understand mine too, but said I should be the one to go and break the ice first. I think this is absurd as we are not kids anymore & as a man he should respect both me, my partner, and our home.
AITA & should I go talk to him?
Note: non of us drink so non of this was done intoxicated. Just thought i should throw that out there.

[True Story]
Currently, I'm looking out of my window from the 35th floor. Damn, the view up here is quite nice. Before my eyes lie the city lights. What a peaceful night it is.
Earlier tonight, I attended a party. This was never my scene. This was never what I'm used to. After all, I spent all my 31 years being the good girl. Don't get me wrong. Of course, I have my bad side, but not this kind. I never party, I never drink, I don't know the taste of a cigarette. I only kiss the person I am in a relationship with.
But for the last three weeks, something snapped. At the party tonight, I had a lot of shots of tequila. More than I can count. My vision's all blurry. I can't understand half of what the person I was talking to was saying. I feel so light-headed. At one point, I remember kissing someone I just met. Even huffing and puffing the e-cig from her hand. And when I can't take it anymore, I decided to book a grab and just go home.
Getting off the car, I passed by 7-11. A thought came to my mind, and I found myself at the counter buying an e-cig for myself. I went up to my place and huffed and puffed it all alone. Suddenly, my phone vibrated. It was a text message from someone I met a week ago from work.
We spent a passionate weekend last week. Though we never really dated and have no plans of doing so. She asked me if she can come over again tomorrow for another hot sesh. I told her sure. And that I can't wait to taste her again. Now, my body's craving sex; I could just do any girl.
I'm staring out of my window, writing this. I don't know what to think. I don't know what to feel. I feel like these past few weeks, I've been living in a dream of someone else. Someone I can no longer recognize. I wanted to stop her from doing what she's doing with her life. Because I know that everything she does right now will bear a consequence and that this is not her! This is never her. Or is it?
I don't know. I can't think straight.
And oh, have I mentioned that I got my heart broken three weeks ago?

Although my chest xray came back clear, I cannot forget the dread and anxiety I was feeling while in the waiting room of the lab. There I was sitting amidst the regret of past of why the heck did I ever pick up this habit/addiction and the uncertain (scary) future of premature death.
28(m), been a smoker for last 10 years, averaging around 6-10 cigarettes per day. The symptoms that I was experiencing were, mild shortness of breath, cough, phlegm and weakness. Some of them were due to health anxiety and some may be due to the damage all these years.
This experience has really woken me up from the slumber! Nicotine trap has crumbled.
I don't want to feel like that again. Fuck u cigs!
Have started my final quit today. To life and freedom!

Over the summer I am having a fairly major surgery and made a deal with my mom that I had to quit nicotine two weeks beforehand. Im about 3ish weeks out from the surgery and wanted to get a head start. Quitting cigarettes was super easy because my body began to reject tobacco, however I have been vaping on and off since a teenager and the last few years since quitting cigs it has become something I heavily rely on. I have found that regulating my emotions becomes increasingly difficult without nicotine. Any advice and encouragement is appreciated. I am going to be getting some juices with antioxidants and will be drinking water like crazy. I also bought some nicotine mints and although they are okay they aren’t my favorite. Edit: I deleted my first post because I didn’t realize my phone had posted this twice. Apologies.

i can even feel it, the aura, the way she looks at me with disgust, from the moment she wakes up i feel uneasy, in my own room i feel uneasy, as if she’s watching me, i can feel not being welcome, being hated by my own mother. i dont want to stay, i really want to leave, i’d rather be homeless than live with this fucking narcissist any second. she wishes i was never born, she wishes i’d disappear, she wishes she never i was never even conceived, i can see it in her eyes.
this is the first time i call my mother that, i have never insulted her, never yelled at her or even raised my voice, in every “argument” it’s her screaming at me or saying very harsh things and me sitting there, taking it. but calling her that word after years of torment feels good.
she never smiles at me, i dont remember the last time she did, everytime i try to talk sweet to her and show her i love her, she says “i dont talk all lovey dovey” and implies she only knows how to communicate in insults and arguing.
im 18, im supposed to be in college, i cant afford it. i dont know what to do. do i apply to a college abroad? would they take me with my weak passport? my father died in august 2022, things went downhill from there, she became more bitter, she became harsh, and while i understood at first, it is taking a toll on me and i cant take it anymore.
she now torments me for the smallest of things.. like one time i came back from the gym, poured a cup of water, then poured another cup of water because i was thirsty and i had finished my water at the gym. she yells “who drinks like that!!? drink like a normal human.” and while that seems like just a minor inconvenience, the issue is it happens with every small action i make, over and over, daily, every single muscle i move, she has a negative comment about, and that was when i told her to just give me a fucking break.
how about that one time when i was 15, i came out to her about the fact that i was raped as a child, and couldnt say anything because of the extreme fear, and as any normal mother does, she had zero empathy and her eyes and just said “well why didnt you defend yourself?”. im not going to say how that made me feel. im just going to let you guess.
today i came back from friday prayer and got the car washed like she asked, she sees i came home wearing the home sandals instead of the main sandals i wear to go out, both normal sandals, but one is plastic sort of like a croc. she glares at me, raises her voice and says “is this what you wear to friday prayers? wont you dress like a normal person?” implying people were going to stare at my sandals which are taken off during prayers and judge me. i just cant. and when i told her i couldnt find my main sandals and was in a hurry, she said “fucking look for them, i put them right here in this drawer, use your head.”
when i forget small things she mentions, she gets pissed and talks to me in that same tone she always does, and that same glare, even though she knows im riddled with ADHD, but she doesnt care enough to learn a single thing about her son’s mental health problems, not the ADHD, not the BPD, not the chronic depression, all of which im not being treated for, and all of which i have been diagnosed with, all of which she was told and warned about.
did i mention, this one time? i had an insane tooth infection, the right side of my face was VERY swollen for days, i was in the worst pain of my life, i was terrified, and having already experienced an extreme panic disorder and health anxiety, god knows i was afraid of sepsis, and when my blood test results came back and i saw my white blood cell count was high, god forbid.. i panicked. i couldnt control it. i wanted to go back to the dentist, just to let him look at the report and tell me im okay, which was for free, in a dentist that was very close to my home, she didnt like that. she didnt like that i was riddled with health anxiety after spending 30+ minutes on top of my dad’s dead body trying to revive him, she couldnt accept that i had been traumatized. she kicks me out. so here i am, on the streets, face swollen, sleeping and shitting on the street with a fever and diarrhea, wiping my ass with pieces of cardboard, hoping to god nothing bad happens to me because that infection was sucking the power out of me.
she wants me to provide, im trying to provide, im trying to pay her back for the money she spent on me ever since i turned 18, but i JUST got qualified legally for work, and im JUST now able to even look for work, yet she has been shaming me for it before i was legal. so for now, until i find a job, im getting money from my ex, which im not so proud of, but so far i sent her 300 dollars hoping she shuts up, and 300$ is a good amount in my country. but she questions how i got that money, she thinks im selling my body for it. which honestly, im very willing to do at this point, i have a nice body and even though males are not as valuabe in that field, if it makes me money until a place im applying at accepts me, i dont have any morals and i’ll happily do it.
about the money she spent on me, usually food, and gym subscriptions, and an amount of money she spent to get me my driver’s license (which was in her best interest, by the way), did you know that i got nothing of my father’s inheritance? she took it all, no, i didnt even look at it, i didnt ask for it, and she sometimes even reminds me that i didnt deserve it, even though i never fucking had it, and it was a GOOD portion of the inheritance too.
and by the time i was 18, she claimed i blew all my side of the money on going to the fucking psychiatrist to stop me from killing myself, and gym memberships, she loves to talk about some “legally you owe me”, but arent you supposed to spend that much until im 18? legally speaking, since we wanna go that way. legally speaking, dont you OWE me that money? i didnt spend any of it, YOU did, and you’re way more happy to let me drive 140kms to get you packs of cigarettes that are cheaper that arent being sold here, spending a shit ton of gas money, every two weeks, rather than letting me see my girl who by the way offers to pay for any inconvenience for her because she knows how my mother is. but no, its not just the money that bugs her, 25 minute drive to see my girl is too much, but a 2 hour round trip just to spend more money on cigs isnt, right? no, she doesnt want me to be happy, she KNOWS she doesnt pay anything out of her own pockets when i go see my lady, she KNOWS seeing her gets me out of that depressed state, but she doesnt want me to, and when the money excuse gets old, she says “maybe 6 months ago i would have been happy for you, but you simply ruined it, your actions did this”.
actions, she says, or basically, my lack of action, yes mother, im terribly sorry i was born in a country that will not allow me to work until a month ago, im sorry that i couldnt apply to college because i cant afford it, and because i knew nothing about life, lived in the middle of nowhere my whole life and didnt start learning how the world works until i turned 17. you didnt teach my how to ride a bike, you didnt teach me how to defend myself, you didnt teach me how to speak english, you didnt teach me how to fucking swim, you didnt introduce me to any physical activity and fucking locked me at home my entire childhood, with just internet access, until i became overweight as a child, and until i took matters into my own hands and changed that. and guess what? my other two sisters? 9 and 16, one is overweight and the other is OBESE since she was a child. great fucking parenting, leaving a 9 year old glued to an ipad because you never knew how to be a mother. and when i tried to take matters into my own hands and restrict the 9 year old from spending 12 hours plus a day on the ipad doing god knows what with god knows who, so she can have real fucking friends, real life fucking experiences, “give it back. im her mother, not you”. well you’re the reason she’s fat, you’re the reason we all got bullied. maybe introduce the poor kid to a fucking sport? fuck.
and guess what? i kind of hated my dad too. he always called me useless, always had that same fucking stare in his eyes, always yelled at me to shut up and be a man if i ever cried as a kid, so much so that i WISH he beat me, i wish they beat me as a child rather than getting neglected, after my face got swollen at 5 years old from being slapped hard by him in a barbershop, they were too scared to do anything else because of the consequences it would cause them. so they decided to neglect. i wish you fucking taught me how to fight, i see all these dads teaching their boys how to defend themselves and you never taught me how to throw a punch, i had to do it all myself, i had to workout myself, i had to fill that lack of sense of masculinity up by getting as big and scary as possible, i had to teach myself how to not be a fat slob like you taught me anymore, because guess what? they were both fat slobs themselves, no fucking wonder they didnt know how to show their kids healthy habits.
if you think that these stories are just minor inconveniences, i agree with you, but imagine it happening every single day, every single second you’re at home, for years, it slowly builds up and becomes unbearable.

Not a super frequent Modder so I'm sort of average understanding, I've looked up everywhere and so far have only found one way someone tried to fix it and that was to remove the mods that apply to perks in any way, I've tried that add it hasn't worked, I've looked at stewietweaks stuff in the in game tweaks menu to see if it messes with the skills and it hasn't done anything, in the game i don't get stuck on the menus when i have to level up or anything it just says to go next. i will add an unlisted video and also add my mods load order and my plugins if that matters and for reference i use vortex i know its "bad"
https://youtu.be/BdChIzHdYuI
mods
0 third person camera overhaul
1 a crime against nature
2 ATTT redux
3 TOTNW 2.0 ATTT compatibility
4 ATTT redux cowboy holsters
5 animated cigarettes
6 anim cig update English
7 another ghoul variation
8 b42 optics
9 refined casino people and suits grimy dirty fixes factional fix
10 bullet impact lod increased espless
11 bulletsnap redux espess 1.2
12 cannibal reborn
13 chrysalis highwayman gasoline and slower TOTNW patch
14 Chrysalis highwayman
15 classic 6520 pistol weathered replacer
16 classic fonts accents blocky
17 MUVAT v0.6 2k
18 classic vault 13 jumpsuit
19 classic 10mm colt 6520 replacer dark
20 one hud
21 shiloh ds clean pipboy screen
22 vanillaui+
23 just vanilla sprint
24 diagonal movement
25 enhanced bullet impacts
26 nmc texture medium 2/2
27 nmc texture medium 1/2
28 the frontier master
29 TOTNW
30 hd main menu and loadscreens
31 MCM
32 nostalgy menu v2
33 Revelation interface mod
34 consistent pip boy icons 4.4
35 consistent pip boy icons v5 apparel
36 consistent pip boy icons v5 dlc
37 consistent pip boy icons v5 extension
38 consistent pip boy icons v5 framework plugin
39 consistent pip boy icons v5 items
40 consistent pip boy icons v5 reputation
41 consistent pip boy icons v5 weapons
42 desert ranger hud 3.2
43 disable dlc loaded messages
44 dismemberment tweaks
45 dramatic inertia 3rd person movement overhaul
46 dramatic inertia only in combat knvse
47 drivable Nevada patrol car
48 fov slider
49 fast weapon lag fix
50 no karma for feral ghouls
51 pipboy tabs file
52 ghoulified version 1.01b
53 immersive playable ghoul addon and fixup
54 ghoul player voice
55 ghoulified cleaned
56 gruesome cannibal eating sound
57 Hermes express and a garage
58 frontier hotfix 0.6.6
59 iscontrol, enabler and iron sights adjuster espless
60 collision meshes fnv
61 ant to ghoul 1.0
62 ragdolls
63 new Vegas mesh improvement mod
64 ITEM
65 improved console
66 JIP NVSE
67 JSRS Sound 2.0
68 johnny guitar NVSE
69 killable children NVSE KCNVSE
70 killable childrenESP
71 MAC-TEN
72 MCM bugfix 2
73 NV energy visuals+ 2
74 xNVSE
75 OWB IN CRT
76 onetweak really updated
77 ATTT redux lowered pistols default
78 physics based ballistics
79 a familliar friend
80 pip boy 2000 retexture pipboy 2500
81 pipboy 2500a glowing tubes
82 satellite world map 100% brighter
83 SUP NVSE
84 satellite DLC maps
85 securitrons in CRT
86 shiloh DS color maps and icons
87 showoff xNVSE
88 the frontier slave harbor side quest
89 sound extender
90 stewie tweaks
91 vanillaUI+ tweak pipboy 2500 the thing
92 talking heads dialog interfaces desert ranger no monitor 1
93 HUD editor
94 The strip open
95 UIO
96 neoclasic armored vault 13 jumpsuit
97 vortex archive invalidation
98 wheels in the wasteland
99 windows of the mojave
100 kNVSE Animation plugin
101 vault 13 jumpsuits classic style
plugins
1 dead money
2 honest hearts
3 oldworldblues
4 lonesomeroad
5 gunrunnersarsenal
6 classicpack
7 mercenarypack
8 tribalpack
9 caravanpack
10 QS3rdpercamoverhaul
11 theHUDeditor
12 TheFrontier
13 NVStripOpen
14 oHUD
15 Ragdolls
16 NVMIM
17 FalloutNV_lang
18 Animated cigarettes
19 classic 6520 pistol weathered replacer
20 ArmedtotheteethNV-Redux
21 TFHotfixes
22 Ghoulified
23 windows of he mojave
24 stripopenmain
25 wheelsinthewasteland
26 highwayman
27 suitfixes+factions
28 diagonal movement
29 10mmcoltv2
30 disableDLCLoadedmessages
31 FOVSlider
32 no vanilla smokers
33 pipboy tabs
34 ant replacer
35 nokarmaferalghouls
36 anotherghoulvariantmod
37 hermesshiny
38 MCM
39 energy visuals
40 JSRS
41 frontier enable slaves harbour
42 VanillaUI+
43 drivablecopcar
44 justvanillasprint
45 neoclassicvaultsuit
46 KC
47 TOTNW
48 TOTNW power armor sprint JVS
49 pipboy2500 edisleado
50 cannibal reborn
51 a crime against nature
52 classicvaultnumbers
53 vault13jumpsuits

trigger warning for addiction, suicide, neglect, abuse, drunk driving, pedophilia & probably other things
i dont really know what to do with my parent. currently, I'm kind of stuck with them like i have been my whole life. at least my partner lives with us now and has been an irreplaceable pillar of support, i genuinely dont know if i would have made it without him, not to sound codependent.
my parent struggles a lot with severe depression above all, but also anxiety, adhd, probably bpd (i have it lol) and other things as well. poverty is, of course, the main factor behind it. they have struggled with addiction most of my life, with it worsening severely around when i was in middle school. cigarettes and alcohol were always a daily thing, but it was those years where it became really, really bad. im talking start drinking with their friend (we were always at her house) when they got off work and dont stop until anywhere from 3-7am and it ended in screaming match arguments with said friend. the friend had a kid of her own, and i did my best to protect him from that, including introjecting in fights that his mom and dad would get into with him. my parent just let it all happen and excused their friend time and time again. meanwhile, they would drive me around blackout drunk, get angry and threaten me at random, and personally witnessed me fall to the hands of pedophiles and did nothing but laugh about it (much later on, after i briefly alluded to having been groomed, they went on to say"if i had known...", lol. but hey, maybe between all the booze, the memories just got lost). they watched and allowed a middle aged man to prey on me when i was 12 at a bar they took me to; allowed/ignored it bc they were jealous since they had a crush on him, even after i begged them to let me leave. i eventually became pretty numb to it all.
we were homeless for a bit. if you include being forced to share a bedroom and live with family because we couldnt afford our own place, it was more like 4 years. but that happens, uncontrollably, thats fine. i would later hear them talk about how they drafted up their suicide note and made preparations to commit during that time. some time around then, they sustained a head injury after falling while drunk, and i thought i had watched them die in my arms. i screamed at and hit them. it was an extra shame, because i had just started to get some feeling back- not always numb. i cared again about whether they died, after not having been able to make myself care previously, sometimes even hoping for it.
younger childhood was pretty empty, only child, i just remember being alone a lot. we get home, they went to drink and smoke in the yard, so i had to stay in the house. i later realized i had a lot of severe dissociative episodes a child, especially when left alone. on the rare occasion i get one now, it horrifies me and ruins my mood for days.
I'm an adult now, its been a good ~4 years since the worst of it, so i thought for awhile. we don't talk as much anymore, and even less now that my partner is moved in. its always awkward. theyre always upset. within the last year, they continuously stole my rx medications, and when i completely cut them off from it, they said they wanted to kill themselves and the only thing that would help was me giving them my meds. they said theyd admit themselves to inpatient. i offered to help, i tried to be there for them while standing my ground- they never did go to inpatient, and continued to steal my medications even when i tried hiding them. they frequently make passive aggressive comments or blow up on me out of nowhere, it seems like they take every chance they get to disrespect me. like an emotional punching bag. theyve taken money from me for as long as i can remember, whether outright stealing, or demanding and threatening. theyve been unemployed for a long while now, and have been lacking in efforts to get a job. but they did go back to school, so thats nice. theyre always miserable. theyre always about to cry. we've had several eviction notices as my partner and i cannot afford to pay rent with just our jobs. im also concerned they may have an opioid addiction.
and still, i love them. i care for them deeply. i feel so incredibly bad for them, watching them hurt makes heart break. i know i have to leave at some point when i am financially able to, but i am horrified of the consequences of doing so while they are in an even more dire emotional and financial state than usual. but i dont know how much more i can do. ive tried gently helping them in the past, and it ends horrifically. i think i will try again one last time. they don't have any friends in the area, and they never leave the house except to buy more cigs/alcohol/weed/etc. my grandparents are both too scared to do anything to upset my parent more, but to be fair, only one of them recently (few months ago)found out about some of the substance abuse and stealing after i reached out to him for help. he was useless.
even on the occasions they're being kind, on their "best behavior", i still can hardly stand to be around them. i instinctively ignore their messages if its not absolutely dire. i dont know how to cope with it anymore. i dont really know how to help them differently than i have, or more, i dont know if i want to- if i can. i might try reaching out to their old long term friends asking to give them support, but i have no idea how they'll react, and i dont want it to backfire.
i think they want to get better. i know theyre miserable, they have been my whole life. almost every waking moment of my life is occupied with this situation. how do i feel about it? how do i navigate it? what do i do next, if anything? i frequently feel like im being too harsh on them even if just in my unspoken opinions, and i like im never doing enough for them. but i really do struggle to recall a truly cherished memory with them, while the bad ones come out left and right, even when i try to downplay them.
what do i do?

Smoker for 15 years. I tried quitting, and honestly, I don't crave cigarettes at all when I am alone and at home. However, due to my lifestyle and nature of my work (im a remote worker), i often have flexible hours and plenty of free time - which i often spend socialising and, well, smoking.
I am from Eastern Europe where drinking and smoking is heavily normalised. Everyone, including my 90 year old grandma, smokes. Mom,dad, boyfriend, all of my friends, even my family doctor.
So to get back on a track, I literally cannot stay away from a cig while outside, and get extreme cravings while talking with someone. Moment my brain gets socialy stimualted I'm already subconsciously lighting one, and then another and so on.
At the end of the day, I enjoy grabbing a drink or two and splitting a pack with a friend and I cannot see myself not doing so, but at the same time I do experience a dreadful feeling of guilt and responsibility for my own body...
Id like to know if anyone here has any advice on quitting smoking in social situations without sacrificing time spent with people, id be really grateful ! Other than that, I dont really like smoking by myself but as soon as my bf comes from work and we start talking - there it is

In the evolving world of vaping technology, the safety and reliability of vape batteries are paramount concerns for manufacturers and engineers. This article delves into the critical aspects of why vape batteries can explode. It offers the essential knowledge that professionals in the vaping industry need to consider for a safer vaping style.
Have you ever wondered why vape batteries, those small but essential components of vaping devices, can sometimes fail dramatically? This exploration is crucial for consumer safety, enhancing product reliability, and meeting stringent regulatory standards.

Understanding Vape Batteries

What Exactly Are Vape Batteries?

Vape batteries are the power sources that fuel electronic cigarettes and other vaping devices. They are typically lithium-ion batteries, known for their high energy density and efficiency.

Chemical Composition of Batteries

Why Does Battery Chemistry Matter?

The chemical makeup of lithium-ion batteries contributes significantly to their performance and volatility under certain conditions. Understanding this chemistry helps in designing safer batteries.

Common Causes of Battery Failure

What Triggers These Explosions?

Battery failures can stem from internal short circuits, overcharging, and physical damage, among other factors. These failures are not merely inconvenient but can pose serious safety risks.

Impact of Poor Battery Design

How Critical Is Design in Preventing Explosions?

Design flaws in vape batteries can lead to mechanical instabilities, which might trigger thermal runaway. An increase in temperature changes the conditions in this condition, causing a further temperature rise.

Manufacturing Defects

Can Small Defects Cause Big Problems?

Yes, even minor deviations in the manufacturing process can compromise battery integrity and safety, highlighting the importance of stringent quality control.

External Factors

What External Conditions Affect Battery Safety?

Environmental factors such as temperature and humidity, as well as misuse, such as improper storage, can adversely affect the stability of vape batteries.

Preventative Measures

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Innovations in Safety

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Recent advancements include the development of safer battery chemistry, enhanced protective features, and intelligent electronics that prevent overcharging.

Case Studies

Learning from Past Incidents

Analyzing real-life incidents helps manufacturers understand failures and refine their designs and processes.

Future Outlook

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With ongoing research and technological improvements, the future looks promising for safer and more reliable vape batteries.

To Wrap It Up

This detailed and comprehensive guide has been meticulously crafted to educate and empower vaping professionals. By providing insights and strategies to enhance the safety and efficiency of its products, it aims to cultivate a vaping environment that prioritizes user well-being and ensures a secure and enjoyable vaping experience for all individuals.

Hello friends!
As the title states, for those of us arriving to the farm on Tuesday we have exactly 25 days to bring it all together. What better way to celebrate 25 days away from being back home than with 25 tips for a great Roo. 2 years ago I did a daily series with 100 tips. Last year I did a daily series with 50 tips. This year it's cut and dry, one take, one day, top 25 tips from a Roo and festival vet. Let's do it.

1. Water- Drink it. A lot of it. All of it. Let it run down your chin you little water slut. Staying hydrated is the #1 way to have a great Roo and consequently the easiest way to end up in the med tent if you don't. There's water stations in the campgrounds and in Centeroo, use em. It's hot. Bring a hydropack, water bottle, or whatever kind of water container you prefer.
2. Beat the Heat- Or at least try. Bring a canopy for camp and some tapestries to hang around. Battery powered fans. Misting fans. Cooling towels. Clacking hand fans. An umbrella. An umbrella hat. Hang out under the trees, tents, signs, or any other thing that will provide some relief from the heat. Bring and USE sunscreen. It truly can't be expressed enough how hot Roo can be and trust me when I say getting a sunburn on Thursday or Friday can make Saturday and Sunday rough.

*PRO TIP- Bring a bucket or collapsible bin of some kind to put some cold cooler water in it for a foot bath. Your feet and your entire being will thank you.

1. Meet Your Neighbors- One of the things that makes Bonnaroo great is the sense of community that comes along with it. Whether it's passing each other on the way in and out of camp, the lazy morning hangs, catching some shows, the pregame beers, keeping an eye out for each other's camp, or sharing that one thing you forgot to bring; Befriending your neighbors can and will take your Roo experience to the next level.
   
2. Lights- All of the lights. Like Kanye said; flashlights, battery powered string lights, solar lights, lanterns, LEDs, nightlights, or something like that. We're camping in the middle of bumfuck nowhere middle Tennessee. Yes, they do provide some lighting in the campground but it's still dark. Keep a small flashlight in your bag, you'll need it.
   
3. Comfy Shoes- Comfy BROKEN IN shoes. Whatever is your comfiest footwear, use that. Imo at least, Bonnaroo is much less of a fashion show and is much more about being comfortable in the elements while adding in the 30-40-50 miles of walking, dancing, skipping, and frolicking you will do. Getting some insoles will also help your feet make it through.
   
4. Begin Physically Preparing Thyself- If you haven't already. Nobody needs to be in peak physical condition by any means, but doing some cardio, walking, a bike ride, etc. and getting out in the heat beforehand will go a long way when it comes to the marathon gauntlet that is Bonnaroo. Get a little uncomfortable before we get really uncomfortable in a few weeks.
   
5. First Aid kit, Butt wipes, Chafe cream, Baby Powder- A few of the most important personal things that will do wonders for that swamp ass and Roo Rash. Skip TP all together and just bring butt wipes, your butt and chafed thighs will thank you. They will also thank you when you apply that chafe cream and your legs are slip slidin' and glidin' all night long.
   
6. Make Campsite Noticeable- Lights, balloons, pinwheels, signs, wackly inflatable tube men, a blimp. Do something to make your campsite stand out a little bit when things get a bit weird and can't find your way back home.
   
7. Catch a Sunrise- Specifically a Pretty Lights one Saturday night into Sunday morning, but any sunrise is meaningful on the farm. One of the things that make Bonnaroo unique from other festivals is the fact that music of some kind is going until sunrise. This is no easy task, even for professionals, but the payoff at the end is worth every second of tiredness to get you there.
   

10.High Five Everyone- This one's big. High Fives have been a staple at Bonnaroo since 1842 when Colonel Mustard high fived Trey Anastacio's great great Uncle and the rest was history. High five everyone. Everyday. Anywhere. Anytime. There may or may not be a winding high five line in front of the arch this year, but that's no excuse to not throw a hand up and watch the magic happen. Not getting enough fives? It means you aren't giving enough. Dish em out like pizzas and hot cakes.

1. Prepare for All Types of Weather- Hot, cold, windy, rainy, snowy. Plan for it all regardless of what the forecast says. Tennessee is like Florida where the forecast has changed 14 times since I started writing this. Bring your swim trunks but also a hoodie and beanie. Bring a couple blankets for the chilly nights. Bring a poncho if you're going to melt. Don't forget to stake down the tents and canopies. Prepare for it all.
   
2. Check out the Plazas- Plazas, which used to be "pods", are themed areas throughout the campgrounds that offer entertainment and programming of all different kinds. Each plaza contains bathrooms, showers, medics, wifi, staff, charging stations, and information that can be beneficial.
   
3. Bring Something To Sleep On- Air mattress, cot, inflatable couch, in the car; whatever it is make sure it's something somewhat comfortable to catch some precious Z's on. We only get a few hours of sleep while on the farm, make sure it's the most comfortable you can possibly get for maximum efficiency.
   
4. Patience is a Virtue- Whether it's in the car line, beer line, bathroom line, or any place that requires waiting; just be patient. Go with the flow. People are working their hardest to get you through whatever line it is, just enjoy the ride. Getting upset, frustrated, etc. doesn't do anybody any good when we're all trying to get to the same place. Just have some patience and trust me it will go a long way. Don’t forget to save some patience for your crew when setting up camp and things get testy.
   
5. Bring Things to Trade & Give Away- This concept is not unique to Bonnaroo but some festivals in general; bring things to give away. Think small, inexpensive, yet meaningful in the right situations. Squishy animals, pogs, green army men, pokemon cards, hat clips, clothespins, marbles; the possibilities here are pretty endless. Having things to give away will just up your Roo experience that much more.
   
6. Keep Valuables locked in the Car- Even though Bonnaroo is by in large a safe place, any public event that draws 60K+ people also brings the bad apples. Anything over 20$ we lock in the car and out of sight and hide our keys at camp. Also please do not bring ANYTHING of substantial value in which you will be upset if it goes missing, broken, or lost. Don't bring grandmother's precious jewels with you. If it has value, lock it in your car.
   
7. Bring Cash- Yes Bonnaroo like most events is moving toward a cashless event, however having cash on you will alleviate some of the issues that go along with so called cashless. There will be things wandering through camp which only require cash, some vendors take cash, and having that peace of mind will frankly go a long way when a card simply won't do.
   
8. Pace Yourself- Bonnaroo is a marathon, not a sprint. Although I whole heartedly endorse full send Thursday, pacing yourself throughout the weekend will leave you some energy left for Fred Again Sunday night. Stay hydrated, take naps, and don't feel bad when you have to take a load off to catch your breath.
   
9. Live In the Moment- Be. Here. Now. Take it all in. Stay off your phone. Embrace the journey. Embrace the moment. Live it. Be it. Accept it. Enjoy it. Don't over plan and don't force it. Let it be. Bonnaroo only comes around once a year and it's in our best interest to make every second count. Keep your head up, eyes open, and enjoy every moment the farm gives us.
   
10. Foster the Bonnarovian Code.
    

a. Prepare Thyself
b. Play as a Team
c. Radiate Positivity
d. Respect the Farm
e. Don't be that Person
f. Stay True Roo
Embrace these basic yet powerful principles and you are on the right track to having a wonderful Bonnaroo experience. Not only do these principles apply to the farm, but they also translate well to our everyday lives.

1. Cooler Maintenance- Tried and true ways to keep your coolers cold as long as possible without spending a fortune on ice. FROZEN WATER BOTTLES. Probably the most beneficial festival hack there is. Layer the bottom of your coolers with frozen bottles and shove ice packs in there as well. Dry ice when used correctly will keep coolers cold for days. Keep coolers out of the sun and closed as much as possible during the day. Before packing coolers, bring them inside and throw some ice in them to cool them down. May the cold be with you, always.
   
2. Wear Whatever the Fuck you Want- Sorry for cussing. But seriously. Wear whatever feels right. Wear a costume. Wear something wild. Wear something basic af. Wear a wig. Wear nothing. Wear that dumbass thing in the back of your closet that hasn't seen the light of day since 2004, let it out. Whatever you wear just make sure it's comfortable. And if you wear something that isn't comfortable, just know we appreciate you and the sacrifices you're making for the greater good.
   
3. Get Merch Early- The good stuff goes quick. The popular sizes go quick. Don't sleep on it. If there's something you see you want just get it and be done with it so there are no regrets later, not even one letter.
   
4. Camp Chairs, inflatable couches, Stools, Pussy Couches, Blankets- Basically just bring things to sit or relax on. Camp chairs, couches, inflatable unicorns, and stools for camp and a blanket for inside Centeroo. Blow up couches aren't technically allowed in the venue but neither are substances and glowsticks and there are certainly neither of those at Bonnaroo.
   
5. Battery stations, Power Banks, Solar Chargers- Bring whatever you need to keep your electronics charged without having to use the courtesy outlets. Bring a jackery or similar power station. Charging things in the car is a move as well as a DC inverter which plugs into your car cigarette lighter. We only get a short amount of time on the farm, don't spend it teathered to an outlet. Bring the power.
   

Honorable Mention Tips

1. Check Camping supplies ahead of time.
2. Don't forget your ID, wristband, and parking pass. (This one is pretty important and should probably be higher up)
3. Bring a backpack or Fanny pack that fits in the allowed guidelines.

That's all I got for the time being. Anything I missed please feel free to add below. For all the first timers joining us this year I would just like to say welcome to the farm. Embrace and enjoy every second you are there. To all the vets coming back, can't wait to see you fuckers again real soon. We're almost there. Happy Bonnaroo Yall!

Seeing cigarette smokers or ex cigarette smokers talking about how great of an experience smoking cigarettes with strangers or friends is, how smoking a cigarette or two with your morning coffee is pure bliss, cigarettes after dinner, during breaks, during stressful times is, etc etc makes me want to start because I truly feel like I’m one of the very few people on the face of this earth who’s never experienced any of that. I’m one of those people who are very health conscious, but I’m starting to feel like a wussie because of it. Most people have zero hesitations to try cigarettes or other drugs, even if they know the health risks, they do it anyway not really giving a damn about the consequences later on. They just do it anyway because they don’t care and just really want to feel the buzz. I WANT to live a long life. I WANT to be healthy. I don’t want to fuck up my lungs. I don’t want health problems. But jeez Louise, seeing cigarette smokers and ex smokers romanticize smoking so much really makes me want to start smoking JUST to be able to experience all those things. JUST to be able to even say “Yeah, I can relate. I know what that’s like.” Cigarettes smokers are honestly like their own clique. Their own social club. ONLY THEY can relate to each other. ONLY THEY can bond together like that. All huddled around in a circle, smoking, talking and just generally having a good time. If you’re a non smoker who’s in a group where everyone but you is smoking, you can’t help but feel left out. Like you’re missing out on that special bonding part of smoking, even if you’re literally standing right next to them. And I’m almost certain that smokers look at their non-smoking friends and think “I wish my friend smoked so they could bond with the rest of us through cigarettes. They’re missing out and surely they feel left out.” Like, I’m almost certain smokers feel that way. I would feel bad about not smoking if I was in a group of smokers. I’m sure they would secretly wished I smoked too even if they didn’t tell me that. And you could say “Well, just vape” but honestly, vaping just doesn’t fit that “smoker vibe”. If you’re in a group where everyone is smoking cigarettes, sharing lighters and lighting each other’s cigs and you’re just standing there awkwardly puffing away on your awkward looking techy electronic vape, wouldn’t the smokers really think you’re just ruining their “edgy” or “grungy” vibe instead of fitting in with them? Even though you’re doing almost the same thing they are, inhaling and exhaling something to get a good feeling out of it? Most cigarette smokers see vaping as childish, cringe, or just not as a cool as actually smoking, and won’t even touch a vape JUST for those reasons alone, even if vaping is the “healthier” option. I’m literally 25 and never smoked, but lord sometimes I really do consider it just to experience the “good” parts about smoking. Rational and logical me knows it’s just the addiction on the smokers end when they romanticize smoking, but the other part of me is like “but I feel like I’m really missing out and I feel left out because I can’t relate to them.” Also the fact that smoker CONSTANTLY have to step away smoke. If you’re a non smoker hanging out with smoker friends, be it at the movies, an amusement park, a restaurant, museum, or even just at someone’s house, they have to CONSTANTLY interrupt the activity or event to go somewhere and smoke, and as a non smoker that would get old. Is it REALLY quality time together if your friends are constantly leaving you, the non smoker, behind to go somewhere and smoke with their smoking buddies? They probably like them more anyway because they can go smoke together and spend quality time together like that. So, why not I just start smoking and join them, you know?