Let's say Montreal managed to keep the Expos and thus the MLB had managed to keep a more sturdy foothold in Canada to the point where Calgary and Vancouver got MLB teams. Anyway, remember how in 2020 the Blue Jays were forced to play in Buffalo (the closest American city to Toronto) due to the COVID-related hassles of crossing the border? I'd imagine that in that situation the Expos might've spent 2020 in Burlington, VT and the hypothetical Vancouver team in Seattle alternating T-Mobile Park with the Mariners (or maybe playing in Tacoma*). But where would a Calgary team have spent an "exile season"? Does Montana have any sizeable minor league stadiums? Or would they have had to go all the way to Denver and alternate Coors Field with the Rockies?
* Or maybe Bellingham, WA?

WRITER CHAOS: BY JAYLEN WHITE
Naruto busted into the room, excited about today’s adventure. Meanwhile, Your Mom is sleeping on a large bed, because a regular bed can’t fit her large size. “I’M GONNA BE HO-HO-HOKAGE!” Naruto shouts. Then, Micheal Jackson slowly moonwalks to the nearest Glock 18 “ABOUT TO SHHOT YA’S BEFORE YA BECOME WHATEVER YOU JUST SAID!” Micheal Jackson says. “Proceed to shoot me now! Nothing will stop me from becoming big leader man!” Naruto exclaims. Soon, Your Mom gets up, with each step causing the ground to rumble, and then proceeds to groan softly. “Man, that nap was amazing! Got anymore ice cream?” Naruto and Micheal Jackson scream in terror as they see the large abomination, confused on how somehow like Your Mom could be so big.
Meanwhile, Mr Beast is hosting yet another challenge…
“HEY, FIRST PERSON TO DIE GETS 100 MILLION DOLLARS!” Mr Beast quickly says. Soon, the people attending quickly try to commit suicide, but Mr Beast gets hit by a nuclear missile before that can even happen. Mr Beast smiles, as half of his body is literary torn apart, “Man, well the challenge still continues!”
Your Mom is walking towards the duo, preparing to chunk them out of existence. “I don’t like heavy stares…” Your Mom deeply says. Naruto and Micheal Jackson look at each other in shock, before proceeding to run away from the big fat momma. Your Mom is too heavy to run, so she must slowly walk towards the group.
The people attending Mr Beast’s challenge have all died! Leaving good ol Jimmy Donaldson. “Oi gee walikers! I sure had fun killing and forcing these people to die!” A dying body groans in the distance, wondering why he hasn’t received money… “H-H-Hey… I died first… WHY!?!” The person screams, as he slowly bleeds out to the beating he received earlier, from the other attendants. Mr Beast stand up, and somehow, his torn-up body is healed instantly. He then checks his watch, and looks up at the sky…
“Looks like they finally arrived.” Jimmy says, before teleporting to another location.
Soon, Your Mom finally arrived to where Naruto and Micheal Jackson hid. “What are you doing kid?” Batman abruptly says, before firing at Your Mom with a minigun. Your Mom, however, is unfazed. “I don’t like people who shoot me with large weapons.” Your Mom slowly walks towards Batman, and Batman screams in terror, and doesn’t even try to run...

Batman is slowly killed by Your Mom’s large strength.
Naruto peaks from the hiding spot, very frightened by the creature. Suddenly, Naruto feels a surge of energy run through him, he feels like he could take on Your Mom…
Naruto’s eyes turn a lil bit frog-like, like, those, fox eyes? Yeah those. He then launches Your Mom all the way through the ground, causing a bit of blood to appear on her tough exterior.
Your Mom responds by slowly walking towards Naruto, but Naruto swiftly breaks her arm before she can continue moving. “AHHHHH.” Your Mom’s arm starts spurting blood, before she slowly falls to the ground, and dies slowly…
Naruto relieves his form, before twerking on Your Mom to literal insanity. Micheal Jackson pulls out his Glock, before shooting Naruto straight in the head, killing him. “Finally got rid of that Nuisance.”
Chapter 2: Mr Beast vs Micheal Jackson.
After the quick death of Naruto, Mr Beast teleports in front of Micheal Jackson. “Hey bro,” Mr Beast looks at the dead body, “You sure were busy…” Micheal Jackson looks at Mr Beast in confusion, and shoots Mr Beast, with no retaliation. The bullet bounces off Mr Beast, and lands directly inside Micheal Jackson’s heart.
A bystander walks by, and slowly turns his pupils at the dead body, and the injured Micheal Jackson. “DON’T KILL ME! PLEASE?” Mr Beast walks towards the bystander, and Micheal Jackson slowly raises his gum at Mr Beast’s head. “W-WATCH OUT!” The Bystander screamed. It was too late, and Mr Beast was shot, and the bullet bounced off again! Micheal Jackson was killed almost instantly.

2 days later…
“Hrm… This substitute is quite fine… Il sees what I can do.” MS slowly says, as he injects Micheal Jackson’s dead body with strength serum. Soon, Micheal Jackson breathes again, and his wounds heal almost instantly, and his muscles bulge like John Cena’s. “I WILL KILL HIM!” Micheal Jackson says as he wakes up from his almost-eternal slumber.

Mini Story: Big Chungus and Rival Nomento
Big Chungus was casually binging on human meat, when his rival, Big Bunny Nomento eats a large amount, much more than him.
“Hey! I bet you stole that food, dummy!” Chungus says. Nomento looks at the bunny with anger, before launching him across the stratosphere. Big Chungus responds by diving straight into Nomento, but he luckily blocks before Chungus can kill him. “I’M ABOUT TO TURN YOU INTO A FOSSILIZED CREATURE!” Chungus says, before preparing for battle.
Micheal Jackson arrives at the place where Mr Beast was, where he was now editing his latest video. “Oh, you came back?” Mr Beast says in confusion, before Micheal Jackson brutally smashes him on the wall, where Mr Beast bounces off it like butter. “You can’t kill me, so stop trying!” Mr Beast says. Micheal Jackson roars in anger, before kicking Mr Beast into outer space, where he casually sips a smoothie.
Mr Beast falls back onto earth, where his body catches fire due to the high speeds. Where he destroys the entire area where Micheal Jackson was, but he too in unscathed.
Mr Beast sighs, refusing to attack Micheal Jackson. “HEY, IL KILL YOU!!!” Micheal Jackson says, before smashing Mr Beast repeatedly, trying to kill him. “Why won’t you just die…” Micheal Jackson says, with tears in his eyes.
Mr Beast finally proceeds to inflict damage on Micheal Jackson, by using his singular finger, to send Micheal Jackson flying into the halls, causing his bones to break, and his body to bleed.
“I’m sorry, but you can’t seem to stop, so I had to kill you. Goodbye friend.” Micheal Jackson looks at Mr Beast with anger, before slowly dying in his grasp.
MS appears at the scene, clapping with joy. “You killed my genetically enhanced being. Impressive.” He pulls a case of syringes, before finally selecting one. “Micheal Jackson will be back…”
Chapter 3: Too much sugar?
Naruto’s dead body lingered in the room, but that same menacing energy filled the area.
“LET’S GET READY TO RUMBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Naruto awakens, preparing his next strike!
“W-What? Why am I here?” Naruto looks around, before walking out of the area he was in. Before landing on Micheal Jackson’s dead body.
Meanwhile, MS is preparing to make a clone of Naruto, who he still believes is dead, as he finishes, he gets a response. “Will kill target. Will get big leader man cape.” Evil Naruto has entered the scene!
Naruto screams, thinking that Micheal Jackson was brutally murdered. “WHY, WHO? HOW!” He looks at Micheal Jackson’s big muscles, and realizes that he doesn’t look like he’s decomposing, at all. He sees a fluid leaking out of him, and he proceeds to drink it. His body instantly changes, and he feels like he could destroy anything. He’d gained the powers that Micheal Jackson once had. Suddenly, Naruto hears a rumbling sound in a pile of metal, and C-12 appears, a large robot that attacks anything it sees. C-12 proceeds to launch Missiles at Naruto, which he somehow easily destroys with his bare hands, before proceeding to rip C-12 limb from limb, only leaving the head. He then swiftly runs away, and leaps onto the nearest building with surprising ease. “Man. That was quick. Didn’t know I could do that!”
Evil Naruto is sent out to retrieve Micheal Jackson’s body, and on the way, he notices Regular Naruto, looking very similar to him. “YOU THERE, STATE YOR INTENTIONS” E Naruto says. R Naruto looks at E Naruto with surprise, thinking that is it another robot. He then proceeds to rush towards E Naruto, who easily dodges all the attacks.
E Naruto swiftly back chops Naruto in the neck, before bagging him up, and heading back to MS. He walks past the area, destroying every building in sight, and every human in sight as well. He then arrives at the base, where MS works on creating a serum for Micheal Jackson.
“MS… That boy didn’t die, I found him.” He opens the bag, revealing an unconscious R Naruto, in which he slowly slumps on the floor, before waking up In shock. “AWAH!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY AM I HERE, WHO’S THAT KID WHO BEAT ME UP?!” R Naruto exclaims, while making rapid movements due to surprise.
MS slowly walks towards R Naruto, before chaining him up swiftly, and grabbing a white syringe. And Injecting Naruto with it. R Naruto began to twitch and flicker, before closing his eyes, once a nice blue shine, now turned into evil red eyes. Evil Naruto looks around, looking at the chained up Regular Naruto, now infected.
Mini Story: Big Chungus and Rival Nomento P2.
Nomento releases a flurry of strikes against Big Chungus, ferociously beating him up, but Big Chungus responds by absorbing the attacks, and launching himself directly at Noemnto, crushing him, and allowing Big Chungus to bleed out.
He was now victorious.

Chapter 4: Infected VS Defected
Infected Naruto went back to the location he was beaten, and then searched for Micheal Jackson. When he finally arrived, he didn’t see Micheal Jackson, but instead a note, saying “I LIKE MEN.” Soon after he read the note, he was knocked unconscious.
“Hey, what should we do?” DanTDM said. Micheal swiftly chained up Infected Naruto, and signaled Dan to hand him a syringe. “I bet MS did this…” Micheal said. Dan handed Micheal a syringe, and Micheal Slowly tried to take out what Naruto was infected with, but before he could finish, the entire area was destroyed! “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH, YOU TRIED LMAO.” Evil Naruto said, before swiftly stabbing DanTDM, and bagging them up. “I can kill you easily!” Micheal Jackson exclaimed, before charging at Evil Naruto.
Evil Naruto easily grabbed Micheal’s leg and threw him across the room. “How!” Micheal said. “Well, I’m just better than you.” Evil Naruto said. Infected Naruto soon woke up, looking at the aftermath, yet he does not speak, and swiftly slashes the chains with his bare hands.
“Great job my little Naruto!” Evil Naruto said, before leaving the area, along with Infected Naruto.
“Huff, Puff…” Micheal Jackson said, before moving away the rubble, and swiftly looking at the syringe. It had parts of the serum, so, if he injected himself with it, he would be stronger.
Meanwhile, Mr Beast is finished editing his video. Before he can click on export, his entire room is destroyed! By… C-12? That same robot killed by Naruto! C-12 swiftly tries to kill Mr Beast, but he easily breaks apart one of his repaired arms, causing C-12 to retreat, but we now know he’s still alive…
Mr Beast is annoyed that his house was destroyed, and he decided to go outside instead.
Meanwhile, Infected Naruto is demolishing cities, while polka dancing rapidly. Evil Naruto is watching by the sidelines, looking for any of Micheal’s friends.
Micheal Jackson injected himself with the syringe and is now rushing towards Evil Naruto “YOU DIE NOW!” As soon as he gets there, Micheal Jackson punches Evil Naruto in the face, launching him across the destroyed buildings. Evil Naruto begins to bleed out, huffing and puffing like Bill Mercury.
Infected Naruto is still destroying the buildings, and he has not noticed the assault. Micheal Jackson continues by destroying and battering Evil Naruto’s face, who is now fully dead. Mr Beast walks by the assault and looks at Micheal Jackson with surprise. “You’re still killing people?” Mr Beast says, while casually walking away.
Micheal Jackson was now targeting Infected Naruto, but he had left after Evil Naruto was brutally killed. So, he decided to head back to MS, where he was originally given the power to stand up to Mr Beast.
MS soon found the news, from the brain chip imbedded in Evil Naruto. MS, angered, decided to inject himself with the GOD Syringe, one that would make him extremely powerful… Enough power to destroy the universe, and to destroy those who oppose him.

MS’s muscles bulge, and he turns into a cosmic being, well, looks like one, and he is now ready to strike. Divine MS has entered the scene!

Chapter 5: Micheal Jackson, and Big Chungus
Days after the events of chapter 4 happened, Micheal Jackson decided to go to the hospital, to support the people that were injured due to Evil Naruto’s antics. While walking towards the white walls, he notices a extremely large rabbit., who is eating several chicken tenders.
“Hello? Are you seriously eating while injured?” Micheal said. The large rabbit looked at Micheal, before introducing himself. “I’m Big Chungus. I’m fine, so don’t worry about me. These dumb humans think I’m hurt!” Big Chungus rolls over, revealing a hole in his chest, that was caused due to the battle he had with Nomento.
“You have a hole in your chest, and you’re able to digest food???” Micheal said in confusion. “Yeah, it’s just how bunnies work.” Chungus said, before standing up and walking out of the room.
Micheal Jackson ignored the encounter, and prepared to leave the hospital as well…
Micheal Jackson saw Big Chungus, ripping apart a human, and eating it. Micheal Jackson immediately prepared to fight Chungus, but it was a totally different bunny. “Hey, I’m Nomento,” Nomento easily went behind Micheal, as if moving at the speed of light. “Die” Suddenly, Nomento easily knocked Micheal across the room, but it didn’t faze Micheal. “Hey, that hurt! Come on, fight like a… What are you exactly?”
Micheal Jackson rushed towards Nomento, before smashing his face into the ground, and throwing him across the city. Micheal Jackson leaped towards Nomento, and side chopped him straight into the ground. But Nomento was unfazed.
“You are weak. I will kill you.” Nomento walked towards Micheal, who was in shock. Nomento clutched Micheal’s neck and began choking him rapidly. Micheal tried to resist, but it was futile.
Suddenly, an even larger bunny arrived, it was Big Chungus! He swiftly impaled Nomento with his bare hands, and threw him into the outer space, before leaping all the way up to him, delivering multiple punches to every part of the chest.

Micheal Jackson watched in awe as Big Chungus easily defeated Nomento, the one who beat Micheal up with ease. Micheal Jackson rushed towards the fallen Nomento, before looking at Big Chungus. “How’d you do that?” Micheal said. “I’m just very strong!” Chungus responded.
Meanwhile… Infected Naruto was at MS’s laboratory.
“Hm… Good job my little experiment. Time to put you to sleep…” MS said, before walking towards his vat of Naruto clones, preparing to wreak havoc on the cites, and the entire world…
One by one, the Naruto clones went out of their respective vats, before grabbing a bag, and a few weapons, and leaving the lab.
Micheal Jackson was having a nice time, at their nearest McDonalds, with Bog Chungs eating 3 Big Macs, and Micheal Jackson trying to bend a wall with a French fry. “I can’t begin to imagine how you got that strong.” Micheal Jackson said, while accidently breaking the French fry he tried to use.
Big Chungus had a lot of training done to get as strong as he is now…

Chapter 6: THE ONE.
Big Chungus was a normal bunny, who did normal bunny things, like stick carrots up his anus. Big Chungus was just Regular Chungus, and his rival, Nomento, was also a normal bunny, who was just a few ounces bigger than him.
Nometo left the fields that Big Chungus laid, to search for more carrots to stick up Chungs’s anus. Chungus was starving, since there were no more carrots to stick his anus in. So, he resorted to EATING HUMANS. One after another, he ate humans, buckets of them. He got bigger and bigger, and gained the nickname, Big Chungus.
Once Nomento came back with carrots, it was revealed that he was the reason that the fields ran out of carrots, angering Big Chungus, and causing him to destroy half of the Earth… Nomento was surprised, and tried to fight back, but was led to the original Earth of 252, where his counterpart was rivaling Big Chungus, and where the Earth wasn’t cut in half. (This means there are 2 Big Chunguss and 2 Nomentos)
The Nomento of Earth 252 wasn’t that nice, and loved to kill random humans, not for food, but for fun. Big Chungus was the same as Earth 234 (The Earth Big Chungus destroyed half of) Big Chungus just didn’t destroy half the earth this time. That raises the question, which Big Chungus is Micheal Jackson talking to?
Meanwhile…. Someone else is…. Questionably destroying the Sears Tower…
DA HE-SC-SPY GROUP!
The group swiftly polka danced their way to the tower, before bombing it with several grade-3 tanks. “DESTROY DA BUILDING NOW!” Heavy said, before launching several nuclear missiles at the tower, and then proceeding to kill everyone near the tower using his mini gun. Meanwhile, Scout is running up the walls, placing down multiple bombs, shaped like chocolate bunnies. “Time to explode the… Can’t think of a good pun.” Scout said, before releasing the bombs, exploding half of the Sears Tower, and causing the tower to come falling.
Spy is disguising himself as a coworker for the company, swiftly killing every worker internally via his kunai from space.
BOOM! The sound of Divine MS busting into the room frightens everyone… The aura that Divine MS gives off, it’s like a thousand big macs, but scarier and tastier. Divine MS easily picks up the falling tower and launches it into space at the speed of light, leaving Spy to scream in terror as he tries to escape the tower, and he is barely able to jump out safely onto ground.
“I have created a clone of me, to work… WHILE I’M DESTROYING THIS PLANET.” Divine MS says, before swiftly picking up a piece of the ground, and throwing it at Heavy, the big guy of the DHS group. Heavy responds by destroying the rubble with his mini gun, but the rubble is too strong, and Heavy his incapacitated by the rubble, and Scout rushes towards him, trying to free him by using his ultra-fast legs.
Divine MS easily arrives behind Scout, at near light speed, before kicking Scout across the entire Earth, causing him to fall unconscious almost instantly, and leaving Heavy to stare at the chaos that unfolds…
But, Mr Beast slowly arrives, staring at the chaos, unfazed by the events. “So, you’ve created a super powerful version of yourself?” Mr Beast easily side chops Divine MS, before he can even react. Divine MS was knocked out by Mr Beast…. “Such weaklings… Well, cya later humanity!” In the blink of an eye, Mr Beast teleports away, going back to… Who knows where?
Chapter 7: The No AU Group
Micheal Jackson was unaware of the events that happened, so was Big Chungus. Da He-Sc-Spy group was luckily able to live to see another day but decided to take a break for a while. Heavy, the tank man of the group, decided to continue doing missions, as he was the only one who wasn’t knocked out by Divine MS.
“Ok, that’s it!” Scout said to Spy, “He’s left again to do another DANGEROUS mission! I don’t want our human shield to die!” Spy was too battered up to say anything, and just nodded in agreement, while slowly preparing to grab a cup of milk.
Meanwhile… Multiple Naruto’s roamed the streets, and it was unclear who the real Naruto was… All the Naruto’s prepared to destroy every building, and started killing civilians, good, and bad. And Micheal Jackson swiftly left the restaurant to deal with the situation. “I’m not letting Big Chungus take all the fame!” Micheal said, before preparing to destroy the entire batch of Naruto’s.
But…. Half of the infected Naruto’s rushed after Micheal, battering him up and ripping him apart, as he watched the other Naruto’s slowly destroy the city. Out of nowhere, the Naruto’s heads were popped off, by what seems to be Mr Beast… “You again!” Micheal Jackson said.
“I don’t know you… I don’t know anyone from here…” Mr Beast says, unaware of Michal Jackson. “But we fought! You killed me!” Micheal Jackson said, “No, this is my first time on this earth, Who are you?” Mr Beast replied. Micheal Jackson was shocked, how did Mr Beast not know the person he killed just days ago?
“Wait, I don’t have an Earth, nor a universe. I just save planets from power hungry things. I bet you have a ‘Me’ in this dimension, right?” Micheal Jackson swiftly backed away, assuming that Mr Beast was capable of interdimensional travel. “That guy, is a maniac.” Micheal Jackson whispered, before running away from the dead cloned Naruto’s.
“Wait, don’t go! I didn’t mean to scare you!” Mr Beast said, before swiftly chasing after Micheal Jackson. “I have a group of friends, who also don’t have a universe. I call it the No AU group. You should contribute to it.” Mr Beast stated, before swiftly arriving in front of Micheal Jackson out of nowhere.
“No…. You’re an idiot for thinking I’d join a group with similar people like you!” Micheal Jackson replied, and soon after, Micheal Jackson attempted to attack Mr Beast with his massive muscles. “DIE!!!!” Mr Beast was easily able to dodge the attack, and counter with a swift blow to the stomach, causing Micheal Jackson to hold up in agony.
“We used to have universes, but they were destroyed by the hands of another Mr Beast. We call him Evil Mr Beast, cause what he did was, well, evil.” Mr Beast stated, before reaching out to help Micheal Jackson. “Well, I guess every Mr Beast is insanely strong…” Micheal Jackson said quietly.
Suddenly, a group of different Mr Beast’s arrived at the scene and began to look at each other casually. Every Mr Beast began talking, before walking over to the Mr Beast interacting with Micheal Jackson. “This is the No AU group, the one I just told you about. We have to go, but we’ll meet again soon, probably.” Mr Beast walks towards his group, before teleporting off somewhere, just like Mr Beast…
“I wonder if there are groups of me?” Micheal Jackson pondered…
Heavy was on another mission and was swiftly taking care of everything in his sight. No attack affected him, and he was easily able to complete missions even while injured. Seems like a horror movie to me.
Chapter 8: Turn for the… LURK.
The real infected Naruto lie in MS’s lab, who was currently working on a big project, while Infected Naruto was leading the next batch of his clones, not being able to control his body at all. “I wish I could end this…. But I’ve just given up at this point.” Naruto thought, while mindlessly leading the batch of clones.
Heavy was on a mission, to take care of a… Peculiar assignment, which involved killing multiple enemies that looked the same, possibly clones of Naruto. “DON’T DO IT! DON’T GO ON ANOTHER MISSION!” Scout signaled. Heavy still went though, like a giga chad or smth.
The batch of Naruto’s destroyed the city thus more, killing every person in sight, and destroying every building possible. Then… DanTDM arrives at the scene. “You thought I WAS DEAD?” DanTDM said, before revealing his mechanical body. “Sadly, that dumb MS thought I was going to obey him, and he gave me this cool mechanical body too! Now, mate, Il kill all of you, and save this city!”
DanTDM swiftly launched several missiles at the Naruto’s, causing most of them to die. DanTDM then extended his mechanical arms and grabbed up a batch of Naruto’s, before destroying them by sending them flying in the air. This left about 24 Naruto’s left, who quickly fled the scene in fear of being killed. Who knew CLONES were sentient.
Quickly after, Heavy arrived at the scene, surprised to see that the situation was already resolved. “Did you seriously steal my kills?” Heavy said, before frowning sadly. “It’s the city we’re talking about! Why would I hesitate to kill clones?” DanTDM said, before swiftly leaving the area using his mechanical arms to grapple his way out.
Meanwhile, the clones are still running, swiftly hiding in halls, and climbing up buildings, before arriving at the destroyed lab DanTDM was previously. “So, clones, we have to hurry up and increase our usage of tech, so we can kill that dumb British robot guy.” A clone said, before grabbing a chunk of metal and grinding it down using another chunk of metal.
The clones agreed, and prepared to clean up the lab, and use piles of wood they found to rebuild the lab, thus creating the DanTDM lab 2.0. The clones began working and made a set of weapons that can easily cut through DanTDM’s robot material, allowing for a quick and easy kill. “Hey, I found a syringe on the floor!” One of the clones said, before picking up the syringe and throwing it at another clone. “We can use this...”
The clones began to use the metal and wood to create a liquid substance that hardens the skin for a short period of time. “If we produce this in mass, we be hardening the world with this, bruv.” A clone said, before injecting himself with the syringe, causing his skin to feel hard and heavy. One of the clones tried to punch the hardened clone, causing their hands to break. “I guess it works….” The clone said, before rubbing his arm slowly.
Day after day, the Naruto clones made even more inventions, and decided to hide their identity by using human suits and planned on stealing from MS to get even more supplies. “That dumb MS doesn’t even pay us!” A clone said, “Well, we are clones…” Another clone said. “Why is he even called MS? Is that a nickname?” The clones made a plan…
And they were gonna follow it.

Chapter 9: The reality breakers.
Micheal Jackson was in distress, after meeting multiple Mr Beast versions, and now contemplating if they are even from this earth.
“Seems like you’re questioning reality.” A mysterious figure said, slowly walking towards Micheal Jackson. “Trust me, I’ve been through worse, MUCH WORSE.” Micheal Jackson swiftly went into a battle stance, preparing to fight.
“Hey, hey! I’m not dangerous, unlike the various other people you’ve met…” The figure said, before somehow appear in front of Micheal Jackson in what seems like the speed of light. “I’m Deez Nuts. Apart of the reality breakers, don’t know why we’re called that though…. Just call me Din.” Din slowly rubs his back, before placing his hands on Micheal Jacksons shoulder.
“So, first I meet an invincible being, and now I meet you?” Micheal Jackson says in fear, before slowly backing up. “I won’t hurt you bruv, believe me. I know everything, so don’t even try to hide it. I’m powerful than that Mr Beast guy, I don’t even need to teleport, I can just move so fast, that I arrive their instantly.” Din says, before somehow arriving behind Micheal Jackson, FASTER THAN LIGHT?
“When someone questions reality, that’s when we come in. We’re there because you no longer believe we’re NOT there.” Din says. Micheal Jackson looks up, then down, and then back at Din. “I just want to eat a taco man.” Micheal Jackson says. “Ok, I need to give you some info. So, the readers can understand a bit of things.” Din says, “What readers?” Micheal Jackson replies.
“Just listen bruv. Clones of Naruto are planning on killing MS, but they’re gonna get absolutely flawlessed. Not like you need to know *wink*. The leader of the clone group is Naruto Prime, and Infected Naruto is the regular Naruto that you originally wanted to kill. Divine MS would be the original MS, any other MS you see that isn’t strong is just a clone. Just know… Il be here whenever you have questions!”
Micheal Jackson was more confused than an acorn that had been injected with several ounces of cocaine. Due to this, Micheal Jackson fell unconscious, and Din walked away, waving in the distance. (Hey, Din here. This is how il talk to you. The story is all jumbled about, and I’m the only serious character you’ll see for a while! So, when you see parentheses, just know it’s me! I’m here to make sure no one makes assumptions about the story.)
The clones went about, carefully splitting up to gain more intel on humans, and to hopefully kill MS. Naruto Prime, (The leader.), was swiftly able to store most of the hardening serum, and able to give it to most of the other Naruto clones. Naruto Prime oversaw when the serums would be used. “Hey bruv, go ahead and MOVE OUT!” Naruto Prime said to the group with it, and the group complied. The clones went to MS’s lab, which was luckily close by, hidden by a flock of birds, that Naruto Prime took care of with the hardening serum.
The clones dispatched, and went to the clone vat, revealing Infected Naruto, the person in charge of dispatching the clones. “YOU!!!!” Naruto Prime yelped, before swiftly attacking the vats of clones, and ordering the other clones to fight Infected Naruto. “Die.” Infected Naruto said, before easily knocking out half of the clones, leaving only a few left. (The clones aren’t dead.). Naruto Prime was able to run away, and bring the clones with him before Infected Naruto could do anything, but their plan had failed, and they didn’t even reach MS…

Chapter 10: The Finale? (2 pages longer lol)
Everyone conflicts with one another. Micheal Jackson needs to defeat Naruto, the clones of Naruto are fighting against Naruto and MS, and Big Chungus needs to fight Nomento. One question remains, who will win?
“Heh looks like this battered up robot is still here. How about I fix you up.” Micheal Jackson says, picking up C-12’s body, and walking towards the area where he builds stiff. Micheal Jackson adds missile launchers onto C-12, and sharp and heavy armor to keep him defended, he also adds a self-destruction button, so he can have a final comeback.
“I’m gonna kill Naruto, and MS too. Il makes sure it ends with a big explosion that you see on TV.” As the robot wires up, it begins to beep in unheard ways, and Micheal Jackson hears a big BOOM outside the workshop…
“WHY HAVE YOU DONE THIS?” Mr Beast yelps, looking at another Mr Breast, who seems to wear a pirate eye patch, along with a black suit, and looks, well, evil. Micheal Jackson goes outside, and sees the Evil Mr Beast, destroying everything with ease, and being able to harm Regular Mr Beast. It seems Evil Mr Beast is something.
Meanwhile, the clones hatch another plan, they were the creators of C-12, and used that robot to originally capture Nartuo. The clones had planned on creating another prototype, C-15. Yep, they tried to do these 2 more times, and had finally created a better robot. It came with the best AI the world could offer too! “Ok, the robot is ready to launch!” A nerdy Naruto said, before typing things on the terminal that controlled the robot.
“Do it, launch the robot!” Naruto Prime said, before swiftly ordering the other clones to guard the robot as it booted up. “C-15 at your service.” The robot said, causing the entire room to be filled with screams of happiness, the robot had finally worked.
Micheal Jackson had no choice but to grab the modified version of C-12, which he nicknamed, Scrapy, mainly because the robot seems to always get destroyed. Micheal Jackson had also improved the AI, so Scrappy should be smarter now, right? Micheal Jackson hears the commotion between Regular Mr Beast and Evil Mr Beast. Based off what he heard from the No AU group, Evil Mr Beast is going to destroy his universe…
The No AU group rushes past Micheal Jackson, with no time to talk, and they proceed to join the fight against Evil Mr Beast, while Micheal Jackson runs away in fear. If Micheal Jackson was able to kill Naruto’s evil counterpart, couldn’t he kill Mr Beasts? No, its too dangerous, Micheal Jackson wouldn’t want to die, after he just made a super powerful robot.
“Hey ol mate, why you running from the danger? I CRAVE DANGER.” Scrappy had woken up, and swiftly used his rocket powered legs to boost up towards the No AU group, forcing Micheal Jackson to run towards Scrappy, since he didn’t want to have his precious baby destroyed lol.
“So, you want to join the war efforts?” Mr Beast said, the one that’s the leader of the NAU group. “Fine, Il do it, just because my dumb robot has a death wish.” Micheal Jackson sighed, before swiftly throwing large chunks of rock at Evil Mr Beast, barely dodging his attacks, and barely able to keep up with his insane speed, that faster than Din (That’s me :D) Evil Mr Beast really is something else, but out of nowhere, Big Chungus arrives at the scene, preparing to launch his large body at Evil Mr Beast.
“Take that ya dumb knock-off!” Big Chungus screams. Despite not making a dent in Evil Mr Beast, he did gain confidence from that quick encounter. “Hey, you’re here too!” Micheal Jackson says, “Yep, I had enough time to check on you, and look what I found….” Big Chungus looks at the No AU group, and the maniac robot trying to fight Evil Mr Beast head on. Big Chungus then looks at Micheal Jackson, his friend, and the one who taught him that eating humans is well, bad.
Infected Naruto walks towards another vat of clones, preparing to strike, but suddenly, he hears a knock on the door. The door BLASTS open, and a large robot, named C-15 arrives, attack Infected Naruto while sustaining little to no damage. Naruto Prime and the other clones watch in the background as Infected Naruto is slowly being defeated.
Infected Naruto is finally killed, or it looks to be that way. The serum that lingered in Infected Naruto was now gone, and he was able to think freely again. “W-What. WAIT, WHY AM I BEING ATTACKED?” Naruto said, before getting into a battle stance. “Wait, you’re telling me you’re not going to attack us?” Naruto Prime said, “WELL YOU ATTACKED ME!” Naruto said, before running away from the robot, and Naruto Prime, and out the lab.
“Phew, got away from those weird people, who look like me for some reason.” Naruto thought, before seeing a very large hole in the ground, caused by Evil Mr Beast. “Nope.” Naruto turns back, and leaves the area, too scared to be killed, and experimented on, for the third time.
Meanwhile, the clones advance to the first floor, where MS lie.
Evil Mr Beast begins to fly up in the air, and make a literal black hole, which absorbs everything around it. “I do not understand. Just give up already!” Evil Mr Beast says, throwing the black hole at Original Mr Beast, killing him almost instantly. It almost kills the leader of the NAU group too. Scrappy is somehow still standing, and still wants to fight Evil Mr beast, despite what happened.
TripTraps Guide to the Multiverse.
I’m TripTrap, certified hunter of the Multiverse, and how about I introduce you to the encounters you just witnessed. You firstly saw a very powerful character, and you saw another powerful character die as well (Why are you here?) Shut u- I mean, of course I must be here, a very important character died! Well, it was more of which the fact that he was alive since chapter 1…. Never mind that, now that Mr Beast has died, I can finally prepare… THE TOKEN OF REVIVAL! That means, if Mr Beast is revived (For whatever reason -_-) Then Il be here to announce when this token was used! TripTrap, the reality breaker of announcement, signing off! (Can we get to the story already?)
Half of the NAU group rush towards Evil Mr Beast, and for all their efforts, a bit of damage was done of Evil Mr Beast, just a little tiny scar on the face, its microscopically big. It’s still damage though! Big Chungus decides to run away, who wants to face a black hole?
The clones head towards MS and use the robot to beat him up with ease, as he’s not in divine form at all. “W-What? How?” MS says in fear, before getting brutally mashed open, mangled, and then thrown out by C-15. “That’s how you kill an evil scientist!” Naruto Prime says, before heading back out the lab, and towards the clones.
“Hey! We did it, I killed MS!” Suddenly, Divine MS appears behind Naruto Prime… “Oh, did you now? Good job for defeating my clone.” Divine MS easily decapitates Naruto Prime with just a flick of the finger, and he menacingly walks towards the clones. (Are you serious? Wait, it seems Naruto Prime wasn’t too important of a character, meh.)
Chapter 11: Chicken Bobby.
The NAU group are still fighting Evil Mr Beast, and Micheal Jackson and Scrappy have already left, due to unknown reasons. The leader of the NAU group, named Mr Beast Prime, orders the other Mr Beast’s to retreat, as Mr Beast Prime will fight off Evil Mr Beast by himself.
“Are you seriously facing me? After I killed the other Mr Beast?” Evil Mr Beast responds, before swiftly punching Mr Beast Prime across the room, “Never Fear, Chicken Bobby is here!” Suddenly, a humanoid chicken punches out Evil Mr Besst, and despite doing no damage, it doesn’t seem like he is doing any damage either.
“A chicken? Seriously?” Evil Mr Beast tries to attack Chicken Bobby, but nothing happens to him, not even a scratch. Mr Beast Prime swiftly grabs Chicken Bobby, and holds him at a, well, “Chicken Shield?”, before swiftly attacking Evil Mr Beast using Chicken Bobby’s very hard skin, or, well, tenderness….
“I don’t mind, use me as a weapon!” Chicken Bobby says, before going into an even harder state, allowing Mr Beast Prime to somewhat damage Evil Mr Beast. “AHHHHH! LEAVE ME ALONE!” Evil Mr Beast flies away, throwing another large black hole, directly at Earth. Chicken Bobby begins to stretch out and widen, turning into a large shield, and blocking the earth from the black hole, somehow surviving it.
Mr Beast Prime is shocked, and runs away, thinking about what that being could possibly be. It may not be able to do that much damage, but it sure is durable! Evil Mr Beast grins, before running off, to who knows where…
Meanwhile, the clones must face Divine MS. “Hey, I don’t want to die!” A clone said, before swiftly running away, but easily being killed by Divine MS, and one by one, the clones are killed…. Expect one clone that is, who managed to hide among the dead body of the clone MS, and is lying there, faking death. (We’ll call him Naruto Prime 2) Divine MS had no comments to make, other than “Weak…”, and Divine MS swiftly went away, jumping at light speeds.
“Oh no you don’t!” Mr Beast Prime says, holding his Chicken Bat (Who is Chicken Bobby) high up in the air. “You dare try to stop me?” Divine MS says. But Mr Beast Prime easily knocks out Divine MS with his Chicken Bat, launching him high up in the air instantly.
Naruto Prime 2 saw this and rushed towards Mr Beast Prime. “Hey, can I come with you?” Naruto Prime 2 says, before swiftly resting inside Mr Beast Prime’s bag, softly sleeping almost instantaneously. Mr Beast Prime had seen weirder, and therefore went along with it, putting his Chicken Bat in his weapon holster, and grabbing Divine MS’s body.
Mr Beast had died, the one who had been prominent for defeating the big and the bad, and now a new Mr Beast enters the scene, Mr Beast Prime, and his fights against Evil Mr Beast. The Arc between Micheal Jackson and Naruto, have officially ended…
Well, time to add some filler!
“So, I’m Chicken Bobby, and I was brought here to make random dialogue to end this chapter quickly, so, Il tell you more about me. I can shapeshift into anything, and I am the hardest object in the multiverse, or so I’m told… I also, well, ok, I can’t think on anything else to say. Ok, let’s end this this chapter NOW!”

LATHANDER
The Morninglord, Commander of Creativity, Patron to Spring and Eternal Youth, Mentor of Self-Perfection, Bringer of the Dawn, Lord of Birth and Renewal
Greater Power of Elysium
Symbol Sunrise made of pink, red, and yellow gems, or a simple rosy pink disk
Realm Morninglory (Elysium/Eronia)
Alignment Neutral Good
Aliases none
Superior none (AO)
Allies Chauntea (lover), Deneir, Eldath, Gond, Ilmater, Kelemvor, Llira, Lurue, Mielikki, Milil, Oghma, Paladine, Selune, Siamorphe, Silvanus, Sune, Torm, Tyche (dead), Tymora, Tyr, Ushas
Foes Bane, Beshaba, Bhaal (dead), Cyric, Ibrandul (dead), Iyachtu Xvim (dead), Loviatar, Moander (dead), Myrkul (dead), Shar, Talona
Servants none
Servitor Creatures butterflies, celestials of all types, elysian dragons, hollyphants, radiant creatures, robins (normal and celestial), sanctified creatures, sun peacocks (normal and celestial), sunwyrms (good aligned only)
Manifestations an intense and rosy radiance that appears around objects to indicate special qualities or at confusing or dangerous junctures to indicate a safe or preferred path, and that causes those people it surrounds to be telekinetically pushed out of harmful situations, healed of all wounds, purged of any diseases, poisons, foreign objects, magical and nonmagical afflictions and deleterious effects, magical or psionic compulsions, fear, and curses, causes resurrection effects to be automatically successful, and transmits messages
Signs of Favor aster blossoms, an intense and rosy radiance with the same qualities as his manifestation, sun peacock feathers
Worshipers Aristocrats, artists, athletes, farmers, hunters of the undead, merchants, monks of the Sun Soul, peasants, performers, the youthful
Cleric Alignments LG, NG, CG
Specialty Priests Morninglord
Holy Days Midsummer morning, the mornings of the vernal and autumnal equinoxes
Important Ceremonies Song of Dawn; contracts, marriages and promises made at dawn, funerals for those not meant to be raised or resurrected
Portfolio Athletics, birth, creativity, dawn, renewal, self-perfection, spring, vitality, youth
Domains Community, Courage, Endurance, Good, Glory, Hope, Life, Protection, Radiance, Renewal, Strength, Zeal
Favored Weapon Dawnspeaker (heavy or light mace)

LATHANDER
Male Sentinel 20, Cleric 20, Morninglord 20, Master of Radiance 5
NG Medium Outsider (Extraplanar, Good)
Divine Rank 17
Init 44 (+16 Dex, +8 Superior Initiative); Senses 17-mile-radius; Listen 77, Spot 77; remote sensing (20 locations), portfolio sense
Aura divine aura (DC 78), courage (100 ft, +8 saves against fear), radiant 3/day; Languages can communicate with any living creature; Words of Creation
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
AC 105, touch 57, flat-footed 95, undead 107 (+18 armor, +20 deflection, +10 Dex, +17 divine, +30 natural)
hp 1,860 (20d10 + 45d8 plus 1300); divine shield 23/day (170 hp); renewal 1/day (if fall below 0 but less than -10 hit points regain 1d8 +20 hp); DR 40/epic, evil and adamantine
Immune ability damage, ability drain, banishment, death effects, disease, disintegration, electricity, energy drain, fire, imprisonment, mind-affecting effects, paralysis, poison, rebuking, sleep, sonic, stunning, transmutation, and turning
Resist acid 37, cold 37; SR 81
Fort 111 Ref 101 Will 105; +2 against evil outsiders and undead, +4 against mind-affecting effects from evil outsiders, +5 against evil spells or spells from evil characters
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Speed 60 ft. (12 squares)
Melee dawnspeaker 115/110/105/100 (55 plus 18 fire plus 18 holy plus 1 negative level vs evil plus 48 vs evil outsiders and undead plus undead disruption [Fort DC 79 or die]/19-20/x2 plus 36 fire plus 36 holy plus 2 negative levels vs good plus death [Fort DC 79, evil outsiders and undead] plus undead disruption [Fort DC 79 or die]), +8 atk vs evil outsiders and undead; or
Melee spell 80 or
Ranged spell 76
Base Atk +43; Grp +63
Atk Options Awesome Smite, Cleave, Holy Potency, Power Attack; smite evil 24/day (+20 atk, +455 damage)
Special Actions alter reality, divine blast (444 damage) 23/day, feat of endurance 1/day (+30 Con for 1 minute), destroy evil outsiders and undead 27/day as a 66^th level cleric (turning check 73, turning damage 105; Heighten Turning, Intensify Turning, Multiturning, Quicken Turning), protective ward 1/day (+65 resistance bonus to one saving throw for one hour), surge of hope 1/day (when failing a skill check, attack roll, or saving throw, add 1d6 to the result), touch of life 1/day (1d6 +65 temporary hp to a single creature for one hours), zeal 1/day (you may take 20 on a skill check, except on checks are not normally allowed to take 20, without increasing the amount of time needed to make the check); Battle Blessing, Corona (Will DC 62), Divine Censure (Will DC 62), Epic Divine Might, Epic Divine Vengeance, Sacred Vengeance
Combat Gear dawnspeaker
Divine Spell-like Abilities (CL 65^th; +1 good spells; all [fire] and [light] spells are intensified)
At will – aid, animate objects, animate plants, antimagic field, atonement, bear’s endurance, bigby’s clenched fist, bigby’s crushing hand, bigby’s grasping hand, blade barrier (DC 53), bless, bless weapon, bolt of glory, bull’s strength, charm person (DC 48), cloak of bravery, color spray (DC 48), commune, consecrate, crown of glory (DC 55), death ward, dismissal (DC 51), dispel evil (DC 52), disrupt undead, disrupting weapon (DC 52), endure elements, enlarge person, widened faerie fire, flame strike (DC 52), fire shield, fire seeds (DC 53), freedom, gate, globe of invulnerability, good hope, greater cloak of bravery, greater dispel magic, greater heroism, greater planar ally, greater restoration, greater status, greater teleport, heat metal (DC 49), helping hand, heroes’ feast, heroism, hide from undead (DC 48), holy aura (DC 55), holy smite (DC 51), holy sword, holy word (DC 54), hypnotic pattern (DC 49), iron body, lesser restoration, lion’s roar (DC 56), magic vestment, mass bear’s endurance, mass heal (DC 56), mind blank, mordenkainen’s magnificent mansion, plant growth, plane shift (DC 52), polymorph any object (DC 55), prayer, prismatic sphere (DC 56), prismatic spray (DC 54), prismatic wall (DC 56), protection from energy, protection from evil, rary’s telepathic bond, rainbow, rainbow pattern (DC 51), refreshment, refuge, regenerate, reincarnate (DC 51), remove disease, remove fear, repulsion (DC 54), righteous might, sanctuary (DC 48), scintillating pattern, searing light, sustain, spell immunity, spell resistance, status, stoneskin, sympathy (DC 55), summon monster IX (good creatures only), sunbeam (DC 54), sunburst (DC 55), tongues.
1/day – calm emotions (DC 51)
Master of Radiance Spell-like Abilities (CL 56^th; +1 good spells; all [fire] and [light] spells are intensified; only usable during aura of radiance)
1/round – beam of sunlight, searing light
Morninglord Spell-like Abilities (CL 54^th; +1 good spells; all [fire] and [light] spells are intensified)
1/day – daylight, searing ray (as searing light, but automatically empowered against undead)
Cleric Spells per Day (CL 54^th; +1 good spells; all spells are energized and maximized; all [fire] and [light] spells are intensified)
20^th (3+1/day) – heightened intensified end to strife (DC 63) (x2), heightened last judgement (DC 70), enhanced heightened intensified mass heal (DC 59) (D).
19^th (3+1/day) – heightened miracle (DC 69) (x2), consecrated intensified purified sacred storm of vengeance (DC 59), enhanced empowered heightened sunburst (DC 63) (D).
18^th (3+1/day) – consecrated enhanced heightened purified flame strike (DC 62) (x2) (D), intensified quickened righteous smite (DC 57), enhanced intensified righteous smite (DC 57).
17^th (3+1/day) – heightened holy word (DC 67) (D), heightened know true name (DC 67), empowered intensified lion’s roar (DC 58), heightened quickened miracle (DC 63).
16^th (4+1/day) – intensified mass heal (DC 59), intensified righteous exile (DC 59) (x2), intensified storm of vengeance (DC 59), enhanced quickened sunburst (DC 58) (D).
15^th (4+1/day) – empowered intensified blade barrier (DC 56) (D), enhanced quickened searing erupt (DC 59) (x2), intensified mass cure critical wounds, heightened righteous glare (DC 65).
14^th (4+1/day) – enhanced fire-substituted fiery searing lion’s roar (DC 58) (D), heightened quickened holy word (DC 60) (x2), empowered quickened sunburst (DC 58) (x2).
13^th (4+1/day) – enhanced quickened flame strike (DC 55) (D), quickened implosion (DC 59) (x2), quickened sublime revelry, intensified weight of sin (DC 56).
12^th (5+1/day) – empowered enhanced blade barrier (DC 56) (D), empowered enhanced cometfall (DC 56), intensified divine retribution (DC 55), consecrated purified sacred firestorm (DC 58) (x2), quickened visions of the future.
11^th (5+1/day) – quickened amber sarcophagus, consecrated purified quickened cometfall (DC 56), sacred searing erupt (DC 59), quickened greater shield of lathander, quickened light of purity, quickened sunbeam (DC 57) (D).
10^th (5+1/day) – quickened crown of brilliance, consecrated fire-substituted searing earthquake (DC 58), quickened heal (DC 56) (D), empowered fire-substituted stormrage.
9^th (7+1/day) – heightened eternal rest (DC 56), quickened flame strike (DC 55), feast of champions, gate, mantle of the fiery spirit, prismatic sphere (DC 59) (D), summon elemental monolith, undeath’s eternal foe.
8^th (8+1/day) – chain dispel, holy aura (DC 58) (D), illusion purge, know true name (DC 58), mass restoration, mass valiant spirit, spread of contentment (DC 58), shun the dark chaos (DC 58), consecrated purified wages of sin.
7^th (8+1/day) – bastion of good, control weather, fortunate fate, quickened light of Venya (DC 53), rain of embers (DC 57), radiant assault (x2) (DC 57), rejuvenating light (DC 57), sunbeam (DC 57) (D).
6^th(8+1/day) – chasing perfection, consecrate battlefield, quickened deific vengeance (DC 52), heal (DC 56) (D), fiery vision (x2), ghost trap, light of courage (DC 56), vigorous circle.
5^th (9+1/day) – atonement, blistering radiance (DC 55), chaav’s laugh (DC 55), condemnation (DC 55), crown of flame, divine agility, divine retribution (DC 55), searing meteoric strike (DC 54) (x2), valiant fury (D).
4^th (10+1/day) – aligned aura (DC 54), assay spell resistance (x2), aura of the sun (x2), channeled divine health, cure critical wounds, holy smite (DC 54) (D), recitation, sacred haven, sunmantle.
3^rd (10+1/day) – cure serious wounds, fell the greatest foe, find the gap, flamebound symbol (x2), forced manifestation (DC 53), heart’s ease, mass align weapon, phieran’s resolve, prayer (D), protection from negative energy.
2^nd (10+1/day) – detect aberration, eagle’s splendor, healing lorecall, make whole, mark of doom (x2), mark of judgment (x2) (DC 52), master’s touch, share talents, shield other (D).
1^st (10+1/day) – bless water, conviction, detect taint, divine favor, endure elements (D), exorcism (x2) (DC 51), nimbus of light, ray of hope, ray of resurgence, vision of heaven (DC 51).
Orisons (6/day) – create water, cure minor wounds, guidance, light, purify food and drink, read magic.
Epic Spells Prepared 6 divine, up to Spellcraft DC 122
Epic Spells Known epic mage armor, epic repulsion, epic spell reflection, global warming, glorious light of renewal, greater ruin, hellball, nailed to the sky, nimbus, rain of fire, ruin, superb dispelling. Lathander has additionally created many epic spells that bring light and life, as well as bring ruin to the undead.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Abilities Str 50, Dex 42, Con 50, Int 36, Wis 51, Cha 50
SQ avatar, bane of the restless, celestial fortitude, celestial minion 1/day, creative fire +20, divine grace, divinity, immortality, lathander’s light, resist fiendish lure
Feats Awesome Smite, Battle Blessing, Cleave, Consecrate Spell, Corona (Will DC 62), Divine Censure (Will DC 62), Divine Might, Divine Vengeance, Empower Spell, Energize Spell, Energy Substitution (fire), Extra Turning, Fiery Spell, Heighten Spell, Heighten Turning, Holy Potency, Improved Critical (heavy mace), Improved Initiative, Improved Turning, Maximize Spell (B), Power Attack, Purify Spell, Quicken Spell, Quicken Turning, Sacred Vengeance, Sanctify Martial Strike, Searing Spell, Weapon Focus (heavy mace), Words of Creation (B)
Epic Feats Enhance Spell, Epic Divine Might, Epic Divine Vengeance, Epic Spellcasting (B), Great Smiting (x2), Improved Heighten Spell, Intensify Spell, Intensify Turning, Multiturning, Positive Energy Aura, Superior Initiative
Salient Divine Abilities Area Divine Shield (170 hp in a 170 ft square or a 17 ft sphere or hemisphere), Automatic Metamagic (energize spell), Banestrike (evil outsiders), Banestrike (undead), Call Creatures (17 celestials with up to 37 HD), Divine Inspiration (hope), Divine Fast Healing (x2), Divine Paladin, Divine Spellcasting, Divine Weapon Focus (heavy mace), Divine Weapon Specialization (heavy mace), Earthmother’s Boon (unique salient divine ability), Energy Burst (170 ft, 136 fire damage), Energy Storm (170 ft, 17 holy and 17 positive), Gift of Life, Indomitable Strength, Life and Death (Fort DC 79 or die, 340 damage on a successful save), Lord of the Dawn (unique salient divine ability), Mass Life and Death (any number of creatures no more than 17 miles apart, Fort DC 79 or die, 340 damage on a successful save), Power of Nature, Rejuvenation (-17, -34 in Morninglory), Undead Mastery (17 creatures)
Skills Appraise 70 (78 paintings and sculptures), Bluff 82, Concentration 125, Craft (painting) 138, Craft (sculpting) 138, Diplomacy 143, Gather Information 72, Heal 125, Jump 84, Intimidate 86, Knowledge (arcana) 80, Knowledge (history) 92, Knowledge (nobility and royalty) 118, Knowledge (religion) 118, Knowledge (the planes) 118, Listen 77, Perform 145, Ride 62, Search 75, Sense Motive 82, Spot 77, Spellcraft 122, Survival 67 (75 extraplanar), Swim 82, Tumble 67
Possessions +8 full plate of the celestial battalion, dawnspeaker

Aura of Radiance (Su) The light of Lathander shines perpetually. No matter how dark it is, the Morninglord sees as though the conditions were identical to the outdoors at sunrise. This ability functions like darkvision out to 60 feet, except that he sees in color. Lathander also has a +2 sacred bonus on saving throws against spells with the darkness descriptor and a +2 sacred bonus to Armor Class against attacks from undead creatures.
Beam of Sunlight (Sp) Lathander can evoke a dazzling beam of intense light (the equivalent of a beam from the sunbeam spell) once per round as a full-round action as long as his radiant aura is active as a 56^th level caster.
Blessing of Dawn (Su) The sight of the morning sun is an inspirational vision for the Morninglord. Lathander gains a +2 morale bonus on Will saves from sunrise until noon. This ability is in effect only while he can see the sun; the effect is suppressed any time he is deprived of the sight of it during this period.
Celestial Fortitude (Su) Lathander’s endurance and fortitude are enhanced against fiendish attacks. He has a +2 sacred bonus to all Fortitude saving throws against effects from evil outsiders and evil spells. Additionally, if he makes a successful Fortitude saving throw against an effect from an evil spell or evil outsider that normally deals half damage or partial effects on a successful save, he instead takes no damage and suffers no partial effects.
Celestial Minion (Sp) Lathander may summon a Medium or smaller size celestial animal (with the celestial creature template) as a standard action usable once a day. This celestial minion carries the same responsibilities as a paladin's special mount and gains the same bonuses to its HD, natural armor, Strength, Intelligence, and other special abilities that a paladin's special mount has, but only remains for 20 hours before returning to the outer plane from whence it came.
Creative Fire (Ex) The Morninglord is a creative, expressive deity. He has a bonus equal to his morninglord level on all Craft and Perform checks.
Divinity Lathander is an embodiment of ancient divine power. As such, reality is his to shape as he sees fit.
Alter Reality: Lathander may alter reality within the bounds of his portfolio. This functions as a wish spell that requires no XP or material cost. The limits of this ability are fully described in Deities and Demigods. He can additionally alter his size from Fine to Colossal and may additionally alter up to 100 pounds of objects in the same manner.
Avatar: Lathander can have up to 20 avatars at any given time. The Morninglord appears as a golden-skinned athletic male of exceeding beauty who has just fully entered early manhood. He wears noble robes constructed in the colors of the dawn, carries himself proudly, and dresses in the finest golden plate armor if attending to matters that might turn violent.
Divine Blast: Lathander can create a ray of divine power that extends for up to 17 miles, dealing up to 444 points of damage, as a ranged touch attack with no saving throw. Lathander can unleash a divine blast 23 times per day, and alter the visual, auditory and sensation-based qualities of his divine blast as he desires. Lathander’s divine blasts generally take the form of rays of fiery sunlight.
Divine Shield: As a free action 23 times per day, Lathander can create a shield that lasts 10 minutes and stops 170 points of damage from attacks. Once the shield stops that much damage, it collapses. Any damage Lathander is naturally immune to does not count towards the shield’s limits.
Earthmother’s Boon (unique salient divine ability) Chauntea is Lathander’s lover and has bestowed a degree of protection over her consort. By her grace, the Lord of the Dawn cannot be harmed by any nonmagical plant or any creature with less than 33 Hit Dice with the plant subtype. Epic creatures and creatures with equal or more than 33 Hit Dice must succeed at a Will save (DC 79) to harm the Morninglord.
Greater Turning (Su) Six times per day, Lathander may use greater turning as the granted power of the Sun domain. This is superseded by his Lord of the Dawn salient divine ability.
Lathander's Light (Su) Whenever Lathander casts a spell with the light descriptor, its area is doubled.
Lord of the Dawn (unique salient divine ability) Lathander is the sun. He is the light that drives back the darkness, the brilliant spark that lights the way out of night and the creative brilliance within every artist. His dominion over light and the sun, both physical and metaphysical, grants him a variety of powers as listed below:
Fires of the Sun: The light of the sun shields Lathander’s body. This protection renders Lathander immune to all forms of magical and nonmagical fire, with searing effects only dealing half damage. In addition, spells and spell-like abilities cast by Lathander from the Sun domain, or with the [fire] and [light] descriptors, are similarly enhanced and are always intensified.
Radiance of the Dawn: Lathander can shed light equal to full sunlight in a 17-mile emanation from his body that counters and dispels all Darkness effects unless created by a higher ranked deity. Undead and evil outsiders caught within the radius must succeed at a Fortitude save (DC 79) or be destroyed and turned into dust. Creatures vulnerable to sunlight suffer a -17 penalty to the saving throw. A successful saving throw still deals 17d8 points of damage, while creatures vulnerable to sunlight suffer 17d12 points of damage.
Spark of Creativity: Lathander is the commander of creativity, the inspiration and muse for craftsmen and artists throughout the Realms. 17 times per day, Lathander may bestow a +17 divine bonus to any Craft or Performance check, or the Efficient Item Creation feat, to up to 17 creatures for the next 24 hours. Performances and non-magical items crafted beneath the aegis of this ability always earn three times the normal gold amount and have three times the listed market price in cost. Magical items crafted with the benefit of this ability add +17,000 gp to the listed market price and increase any numeric benefit (enhancement bonuses for the purpose of attack and damage rolls, armor and save bonuses and so forth) by +4.
Spurn the Profane: Lathander uses the totality of his character level to determine the effectiveness of his ability to smite evil, turn outsiders and undead as well as any of his feats that affect the undead. His turn attempts resolve as greater turnings (as the granted power of the Sun domain). In addition, Lathander adds his paladin spells to his clerical spell list, using the sum of both lists to determine his caster level.
Wrath of the Dawn: As a standard action Lathander can generate a ray of scorching light that extends for up to 17 miles and inflicts 17d6 points of damage, half fire and half divine. As a full attack option, he can generate up to four rays, and undead and evil outsiders suffer 17d12 points of damage. In addition, Lathander can duplicate the effects of any spell with the [light] descriptor as a standard action. (CL 65^th, DC 50 plus spell level).
Maximize Turning (Su) Once per day, Lathander can automatically achieve the maximum possible result on a turning damage roll. This is superseded by his natural divine powers.
Radiant Aura (Su) Three times per day, Lathander can emanate an aura of brilliant light that weakens undead creatures for one minute. The aura provides bright illumination in a 30-foot radius around him, and shadowy illumination for an additional 30 feet beyond that. Creatures that take penalties in bright light also take them while within the radius of the bright aura. In addition, undead creatures within the radius of bright light take a —2 penalty on attack rolls, damage rolls, and saving throws. Activating the radiant aura is a free action that does not provoke attacks of opportunity. While his radiant aura is active, Lathander casts spells with the light descriptor at +2 caster level. The radiant aura is the equivalent of a 5th-level spell with the light descriptor for the purpose of interacting with spells and effects with the darkness descriptor.
Rejuvenation of the Morn (Su) Dawn is a powerful symbol of rebirth and renewal. Once per tenday, Lathander may spend one uninterrupted hour before dawn in prayer. As soon as the sun rises after this prayer ritual, he gains one benefit of his choice from the following list.
· Healing up to full normal hit points (self only).
· Removal of any poisons or diseases (self only). This effect does not restore ability damage or ability drain caused by poison or disease.
· Full restoration of ability damage due to one poison or disease.
If his prayers are interrupted for even a single round, the attempt is ruined, and he must wait a full tenday to try again.
Resist Fiendish Lure (Su) Lathander has a +4 sacred bonus to all saving throws against mind-affecting attacks of evil outsiders.
Possessions
Dawnspeaker, Lathander’s gold-and-ivory mace, is a +10 fiery blast ghost strike mighty disruption heavy mace of holy power and evil outsider and undead dread. When held by the Morninglord, it also functions as a holy devastator. The DC of the weapon’s disruption and dread abilities is 79, and creatures vulnerable to sunlight suffer a -17 penalty to saving throws made to resist Dawnspeaker’s abilities. Lathander is known to loan out Dawnspeaker to questors and warriors he deems worthy and can call it back to his hand from anywhere in the cosmos.
The Morninglord also occasionally wears a set of golden +8 full plate with the powers of an armor of the celestial battalion. The bonuses are not reflected in the above statistics.
Other Divine Powers As a greater deity, Lathander automatically receives the best possible result on any die roll he makes (including attack rolls, damage, checks, and saves). He treats a 1 on an attack roll or saving throw normally and not as an automatic failure. He is immortal. Senses Lathander can see (using normal vision or darkvision), hear, touch, and smell at a distance of 17 miles. As a standard action, he can perceive anything within 17 miles of his worshippers, holy sites, objects, or any location where one of his titles or name was spoken in the last hour. He can extend his senses to up to 20 locations at once. He can block the sensing power of deities of his rank or lower at up to two remote locations at once for 17 hours. Portfolio Sense Lathander is aware of any event under the light of the sun, competition or act of artistry of the number of people involved up to 17 weeks in the past and 17 weeks in the future. Automatic Actions Lathander can use any skill related to his portfolio as a free action if the DC for the task is 30 or lower. He can perform up to twenty such free actions each round. Create Magic Items Lathander can craft any magical item that associated with heat and light, aids in self-empowerment, preserves or restores vitality or harms the undead, including artifacts.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Eternal Rest [Ravenloft: Legacy of Blood 71]
Necromancy
Level: Cleric 6
Components: V, S, DF
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Effect: Ray (see text)
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: Will partial (see text)
Spell Resistance: Yes
This spell creates a ray of golden light that destroys one undead creature’s material body (if it has one), causing it to crumble to dust, which is then wafted away in a swirling breeze. This spell affects incorporeal undead without the usual incorporeal miss chance, and such a creature merely winks out of existence if it fails its save. If the target makes a successful save, it still takes 6d6 points of damage. If the creature has a special quality that allows it to return after destruction (such as a vampire’s fast healing power or a ghost’s rejuvenation power), the creature gains a bonus equal to its Charisma modifier on its saving throw. If such a creature fails its saving throw against this spell, it must make a successful Will save at the same DC (also with its Charisma modifier as a bonus) to return. If the creature’s method of return normally requires a saving throw (as a ghost’s rejuvenation power does), the creature must first make that saving throw, then make the Will saving throw against this spell.
You can improve your chance of success by presenting at least one object or substance that the target hates, fears, or otherwise finds repulsive or painful (such as a mirror and bud of garlic for a vampire). For each such object or substance, you gain a +1 bonus on your caster level check to overcome the target’s spell resistance (if any), and the spell’s saving throw DC increases by +1. A particular creature’s history might suggest additional objects or substances that would make the spell more effective.
This spell can also be cast when an undead creature has been physically destroyed and its remains are not present. In this case, the spell must be aimed at the spot where the creature was destroyed, and it must be used within 1 minute of the undead creature’s destruction. No attack roll is required for this use of the spell.
This spell can destroy an undead darklord’s physical form, but it cannot prevent the darklord from returning.
Rainbow [Dragon Magazine 321 68]
Conjuration (Creation)
Level: Cleric 6, Radiance 6
Components: V, S, DF
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Effect: Rainbow bow, quiver, and arrows
Duration: 1 hour / level
Saving Throw: No
Spell Resistance: Yes
A rainbow-hued longbow appears in your hand, along with a full quiver of arrows fletched with different colors. The longbow is considered a +1 longbow that the caster is proficient with. The quiver holds an endless supply of seven different colored arrows, each being made of a different material and having the following effects:
Red: +1 elemental-bane adamantine arrows.
Orange: +1 construct-bane silver arrows.
Yellow: +1 plant-bane evil-aligned arrows.
Green: +1 magical beast-bane good-aligned arrows.
Blue: +1 undead-bane lawful-aligned arrows.
Indigo: +1 aberration-bane chaotic-aligned arrows.
Violet: +1 dragon-bane cold iron arrows.
Only the caster is able to use the bow, quiver, and arrows. They appear immediately back in the caster’s possession if dropped or given away, though the caster may drop the bow and quiver to use another item, but can rematerialize them at will, as a free action. The bow, quiver, and arrows have no weight and cannot be disarmed or sundered.
Know True Name [Kalamar: Player’s Guide 3.0 177]
Enchantment (Compulsion) [Mind-Affecting]
Level: Cleric 8
Components: V, S, DF
Casting Time: 1 action
Ranged: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft. / 2 levels)
Target: One fiend
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: Will negates
Spell Resistance: Yes
You force a fiend to tell you its true name. Once you know a fiend’s true name, all spells that you cast at that creature have their save DCs increase by +4. You also gain a +4 on all checks to penetrate the creature’s spell resistance.

I visited this beautiful country between May 1 - 11, but was not prepared for the amount of tourism, which I must say ultimately left me a little sour about the experience. We stuck with all the major attractions and sights so I know we shouldn’t be surprised by the crowds, but I’ve still never seen tourism at this level. That said, I may have had a better time if I didn't try to pack everything in as much as I did.
Our itinerary was:
Day 1: Land in Milan
Day 2: Train from Milan to Lake Como
Day 3: Train from Lake Como to Cinque Terre (my favorite part of the trip)
Day 5: Train from Cinque Terre to Florence
Day 8: Train from Florence to Rome
Day 10: Train from Rome back to Milan for our departing flight the next day
Lake Como and Cinque Terre (CT) were my favorite parts that I wish I allotted more time for.
While Lake Como is beautiful and I wish we had more time to explore some spots I had saved, it did feel a little soulless. We stayed in Varenna and took the ferry to Bellagio. Both areas feel like resort towns that exist solely for tourism. Other areas might have a less catering vibe. Also, the number of young women taking shots for the 'gram and giving you dirty looks because you ruined their 20-minute photoshoot is nauseating.
The train that runs between the 5 towns in CT gets packed to the brim with people during peak hours (~10 a.m. - 5 p.m.). On our arrival day I tried to get off the train for our final stop and I literally got stuck between people; I was able to lift my feet off the ground for a few seconds and not get anywhere like a cartoon character.
We visited CT to hike the Blue Path and no regrets there. Absolutely stunning and the only time we didn't feel overwhelmed with people (started hiking around 8 a.m. in Monterosso). But if you're just taking the train between towns you'll do almost as much hiking from the train stations to the main parts of all 5 towns. The only one we did properly visit was Manarola so maybe that town has a short walk from the train station? I think there are vans/buses that take people from some of the train stations into town, but you'll be waiting amongst crowds and nothing is clearly noted.
Florence: we stayed right near the Ponte Vecchio and I do not recommend. Again, the number of people and crowds ruin it. I thought it would be nice/convenient staying near the Uffizi and the bridge, but it wasn't worth it. Unless you’re shopping for jewelry, the bridge can be much more appreciated from a distance. The location also isn't ideal because no matter what I tried we couldn't get a taxi; I downloaded apps, called taxi hubs, tried Uber, but no one would come to our location or offer alternative pick up spots. The city is very walkable, but we came down with food poisoning so by the end I was hoping to grab a taxi to the train station to alleviate some of the dejectedness I was feeling. We visited the Uffizi, Accademia, and the Piazzale Michelangelo, but I was happy to leave Florence. I felt like I couldn't escape the smell of cigarettes the entire time.
Rome: I think by this point were a bit weary from the food poisoning, crowds, and the amount of walking we did with our backpacks. Thankfully though no issues getting taxis/Ubers around Rome. Despite what people say about Trastevere being "overrated" now, stay there. It's easily the nicest part of Rome. My second recommendation would be Prati. We had tickets to visit the Vatican Museum and I wish we made the effort but this was the last leg of the trip and we were just over it so we spent our full day in Rome walking to all the sights: Colosseum, Trevi Fountain, Pantheon, Roman Forum, and Janiculum Hill.
Rome was nice and I enjoyed it more than Florence, but it also felt run down. We had a running joke that ambulances were following us because we could not escape the sirens. I know, it’s all part of history and maybe I’m just not sophisticated enough to appreciate its historical magnitude, but honestly, pass.
Public transit: Getting on ferries and trains felt like a fight each time which added some physical and mental fatigue. I highly recommend sticking to high-speed trains if possible because you can reserve your seat; it doesn’t matter if you book first class or standard, they’re basically the same. Trains where you don’t reserve your, good luck. We stood for 1.5hrs from CT to Florence CRAMMED in. Each time the train stopped more people would squeeze in but eventually we had to stop people from boarding.
The trains were occasionally running a couple minutes late and there was a 24hr strike during our stay but nothing that impacted our trip. Don’t feel like you must show up for your train more than ~10 minutes in advance, your train’s platform number likely won’t be displayed until about 5 – 10 minutes out. You’ll just stand around unnecessarily stressing yourself out otherwise.
Was this a magical trip? No, not really. Would I visit Italy again? Possibly with some time and with plans to stick to the more natural scenery. I did want to visit the Italian Dolomites but they were still snow covered during our visit.
I think another factor that contributed to it not being the “magical” experience you hope for is we had to stick to schedules the entire time and that’s not a typical fun vacation for me; whether it was the trains, museum/attraction entrance times, or dinner reservations, we frequently had somewhere we had to be. This type of trip didn’t allow for spontaneity. E.g. when we visited Scotland we rented a car and were able to visit random castles and museums without prep work or fighting crowds. Perhaps I could’ve had more fun or spontaneity by seeing less (I definitely wouldn’t want a car within Florence or Rome proper but I think the countryside/smaller towns would be okay), but when you only get so much time off for work, you try to squeeze it all in.
Food: Everyone comes for the main attraction which of course is the various pastas, but Italy does so much better than pasta. Yeah, I said it. The chicken I had there on two separate occasions from two different restaurants? Immaculate. I’ll never have more perfectly cooked chicken again. The deli meats? So flavorful. I ordered a yogurt with lemon and honey in CT (where they grow a lot of lemons) and I’ll think of that fondly for years to come. I also had a fantastic affogato in Florence.
We avoided the super touristy areas for our real dinners, but while the pasta was done well, the red sauce just wasn’t hitting for either of us.
I apologize if this comes off as a less than idyllic portrayal of Italy. It’s a beautiful country that is worth a visit, but I wanted to share my experience and maybe highlight it’s not for everyone and that’s okay.
Edit: formatting

Given the country demographic of Reddit as well as the primary banks offering large transferrable bonuses being in the US, most of the redemptions we discuss are focused on leaving from or return to the US. However, it's also interesting to discuss flights that don't touch the US for several reasons:

1. More availability
   1. First and foremost, availability is everything in the award space, luckily, most other countries are not as easily able to tap into the award space. Flights between the other continents are plentiful, I rarely have a hard time finding space between Asia, Europe, or even Oceania. There's usually many seats and many dates available, even when looking only a month or so out.
2. Different (Better?) experiences
   1. This is ofc subjective, but many East Asian airlines offer superior in-flight experience, whether it's the food, service, or simply the fact that they offer much more widebody flights on short hops, compared to the US being mostly narrowbody. You can experience widebody seats in Asia almost all the time, imagine flying SQ's business class on a 2 hour flight! Lounge access is plentiful and often higher quality as well.
3. Lower redemption costs
   1. This is the bread and butter of the award game and will the focus of this post. Simply put, everyone wants to milk the North American market and we're also super far away from everything, so we have some of the highest redemption costs out there. For example, you could fly from Dubai to Seoul via Singapore Airlines in J for only 80k Aeroplan miles! With an additional 5k for the stopover, you'd be able to experience 2 longhaul SQ flights in business class, that's pretty great value if you ask me.

But, you might say, ok but I don't live in Europe or Asia, I live in the US, so this doesn't even matter to me!
One of the reasons this can be practical is for extended trips or RTWs! You're already traveling to another continent, so why not explore for a few more days? With this in mind, let's talk about a few popular programs and what their sweet spots are for non-US redemptions. Feel free to share your own in the comments below.

• Delta SkyMiles
  • Starting with the most hated program out there, this is in fact one of the only existing sweet spots out there anymore for SkyMiles
  • Oceania to East Asia for 65k miles
  • Oceania to SE Asia for 70k miles
  • Oceania to Europe for 90k miles
  • East Asia to SE Asia for 40k miles
  • Europe to Middle East for 42.5k miles
  • Europe to India for 65k miles
  • Europe to East Asia and SE Asia for 80k miles
• Flying Blue
  • While Delta does technically cover the SkyTeam availability, I bring that up because SkyMiles have so few practical uses in the first place.
  • Flying Blue is mostly zone based, so you could do somthing like Europe to most of Asia for 70k miles. However, technically because of the zones, you're actually able to get it for even less when coupled w/ your North American leg. For example, LAX-CDG-HND would be 95k miles with a free stopover vs 50k for the LAX-CDG + 70k for the CDG-HND.
• Aeroplan
  • This one is all distance based, but you can get some pretty sick deals. For example, 45k miles for up to 5000 miles long or 60k miles for a 5001 to 7000 miles within the Pacific is pretty awesome. For example, most of East Asia to most of Oceania would only be 45k miles! So the key is play around with distances and see how it all pans out.
• Avianca Lifemiles
  • Lifemiles is region based so the award chart is a little bit different, I had a bit of a hard time researching this, weirdly they have an "others" region for Oceania that doesn't match the pricing for the opposite direction.
  • Oceania to East Asia for 50k miles in business class, 62.5k miles in first class vs East Asia to Oceania for 40k in business class, 50k in first class
  • Oceania to SE Asia for 50k miles in business class, 75k in first class vs SE Asia to Oceania for 40k miles in business class vs 60k in first class
  • Northern Europe to East Asia for 75k in business class, 115k in first class vs East Asia to Northern Europe
  • Northern Europe to SE Asia for 78k in business class, 102k in first class
  • So based on this, depending on where you go and which direction you fly it could be better or worse than Aeroplan
• AA
  • AA is zone based, but I have a hard time finding an actual award chart from them for non-US zones, so these are all based on surface level research
  • Oceania to East Asia for 40k in business, 60k in first class
  • Oceania to Europe for 85k miles
  • Middle East to Europe for 42.5k miles
  • East Asia to SE Asia for 30k miles in business, 40k in first class
  • East Asia to Middle East for 40k miles in business, 50k in first class
  • East Asia to Europe for 75k miles
  • This level of redemption pricing is really good and will not last. Imagine getting an almost 7 hour flight in JAL F from BKK to HND for 40k miles!
• AS
  • Alaska is now also a distance based program after the devaluation. In general, the key is to look for those routes that lie just under the max zone.
  • For me I enjoy the 15k miles spot for flights just under 1500 miles, which is perfect for regional Asia flights. Using their partner Starlux in TPE, many Asian destinations are available such as all of Japan, Korea, SGN/HAN/CEB. Unfortunately, going up one band to the 1501-3000 is 45k/50k miles for Europe/Asia, which is over 3x the cost, so definitely nowhere near as worth it.
  • The band right after though is quite good value, at 3001 to 5000 miles or 55k/60k miles, but still inferior to AA. You could do East Asia to Australia for 60k in business or 90k in first. This is 50% higher cost than AA, so AA is still preferrable.

With that, that just about covers most of the core, major alliance programs. I choose these as these are generally the better value programs, for example Aeroplan generally has lower costs than UA. And AA/AS are much cheaper than Avios.

Summary (or tl;dr)

In my opinion, the following are quite awesome.

• SkyTeam
  • The fact that you can even efficiently redeem Delta SkyMiles
  • Use the free Flying Blue stopover for combined segments rather than breaking your trip into two to save on points
• Star Alliance
  • Asia Pacific 45k Aeroplan for flights up to 5000 miles
  • Asia/Europe 60k Aeroplan for flights up 5000 miles
  • East Asia to Oceania for 40k LifeMiles in business class, 50k in first class
• Oneworld
  • Almost all of AAs are really good, in particular:
    • Oceania to East Asia for 40k in business, 60k in first class
    • East Asia to SE Asia for 30k miles in business, 40k in first class
    • East Asia to Middle East for 40k miles in business, 50k in first class
  • 15k AS miles for regional Asia flights under 1500 miles

So, you don't need to book an ANA RTW to experience all these other products. If you can escape the US, then try extending your trip with one of these sweet spots and get even more return on value.
Feel free to share other sweetspots you've found or ones with other programs.

I'm currently working on a modernized Kaiba deck for the meta and was wondering what I could use in both the main and extra deck? Hoping to not have to shift the card pool too much, but I am allowing banned cards as this is one of the decks I'm building to play with a friend of mine. The cards I have so far are:
NORMAL/EFFECT MONSTERS:

• Blue-eyes White Dragon x2
  
• Black Luster Soldier - Envoy of the Beginning
  
• Maiden with Eyes of Blue
  
• Priestess with Eyes of Blue
  
• Master with Eyes of Blue
  
• Breaker the Magical Knight
  
• Charging Gaia the Fierce Knight
  
• Beginning Knight
  
• Evening Twilight Knight
  
• Assault Wyvern
  
• Kaibaman
  
• Paladin of Felgrand
  
• Kycoo the Ghost Destroyer
  
• Shining Angel
  
• Cyber Jar
  
• Obelisk the Tormentor x2
  

RITUAL MONSTERS: - Black Luster Soldier - Super Soldier - Blue-eyes Chaos MAX Dragon
SPELLS: - Pot of Greed - Harpie's Feather Duster - Reinforcement of the Army - Chaos Form x2 - My Body as a Shield - Divine Evolution - Dragon's Fighting Spirit - Strength in Unity - Mausoleum of White - Burst Stream of Destruction - Premature Burial - Soul Crossing - Fist of Fate - The Breaking Ruin God
TRAPS: - Mirror Force - CompulsoryEvacuation Device - Soul Energy MAX!!! - Ring of Destruction - Call of the Haunted
EXTRA DECK: - Azure-Eyes Silver Dragon - Blue-eyes Silver Dragon

WPA – A Completely Average Roadtrip
Disclaimer: Not canon, and I don’t use patreon so please don’t spoil me. Also, any opinion held by a character is that of the characters and not my own. Enjoy.
Town of Ljosalfington, local time 14:00, week 7
Emma Booker
“Again Illunor, I warned you before that this is a utility vehicle, not a party rated smart-limo. I am already compromising more than I should by allowing you to use the sample cooler as a minifridge, one which I can’t even use!” I said as I loaded the materials I had just purchased into the back of the high-G All terrain fusion-ethanol-electric hybrid 24th-century legacy pickup truck that I had printed out earlier this week, carefully avoiding the heavy ordinance hard point.
“That is hardly an excuse for that abysmally cramped leg space barely fit for cattle, never mind the bare minimum for standard decorum suitable for nobility. If this is what a car is like, then I don’t see why you care for your technology,” complained Illunor, who was sitting around idly with a malformed garish bowl of icecream that he had stashed away from lunch.
“If it bothers you so much, perhaps you could help next time with your ‘bigger-on-the-inside’ magic,” I retorted as I slid the last core sample into the back before covering it up with a tarp and strapping it down.
I had originally planned to visit Ljosalfington by myself to acquire much needed exo-materials to test various mana manipulator configurations as I worked to develop my first wand as not all of the materials I needed were procurable locally from Elaseer. I eventually yielded, much to my regret, to allowing Illunor to come with me as he insisted on wanting to deliver a letter personally in town after Thacea had pointed out the wisdom of not travelling alone.
We continued our back and forth for a bit yet as I finished securing my payload a voice called out to me from the direction of the town.
“Excuse me a moment, I couldn’t help but notice but are you from the academy?”
I turned to see an elf dressed in a plain brown buttoned up tunic matched by a slightly shabby pair of trousers with what appeared to be a lute upon his back and a plain and unenchanted longsword on his belt gesturing at our robes. Mine especially were new and unusual, tailored by the academy to go over my armour and allow access to the anchor points and allow me to exit my armour with minimal hassle. Illunor scoffed at what was evidently a commoner’s arrogance at approaching nobility and turned his head away in disgust. I glanced at Illunor and shook my head before turning to face the new man. I had time to spare, and any opportunity to engage in a hearts-and-minds dialogue with the locals outside the bounds of the managed environment of the academy was more than worth the time to chat. Especially as most of the other locals seemed to be content in ignoring me.
“Yes, we are currently studying at the Transgracian Academy. I am Cadet Emma Booker representing the United Nations of Earth and Luna from Earthream, and my aloof compatriot is Lord Illunor Rularia of the Vunerian courts. We were just about to head back but are in no rush. May I ask your name and what brings you by?” I asked with my hand outstretched in greeting.
“Ah yes, yes. My name is Edhel Redoehdelnif, a wandering bard by trade like my father and his father before him. My apologies, Cadet Emma Booker, I am unfamiliar with Earthrealm,” said Edhel as he grasped my hand with both of his and shook it tepidly yet vigorously. Or rather, tried to, as the motors on my suit resisted his efforts.
“News doesn’t seem to spread all that fast around here, so it makes sense you haven’t heard of us. We’re a new realm, and only just got here. Pleasure to make your acquaintance, Edhel Redoehdelnif,” I replied.
“Absolutely fascinating! And a knight no less, or perhaps a squire? I’m sure you have many stories to tell of Earthrealm. Say, by chance are you about to head back to the academy? I have business in Elaseer and the usual coach has been absent as of late so I would rather not go it alone,” said Edhel.
I was hesitant to bring a stranger back in the car with me, even if Illunor was present. However, the opportunity that meeting a bard presented was too good to pass up from an intel perspective and to win the favour of the populace at large.
“That is a great idea. I think I have room for one more…” I paused before gesturing towards Illunor, “provided everyone is ok with it that is.”
Illunor gave a huff and turned his head away in silence.
“Very well, I will allow this. But he will not be joining me in your sorry excuse for a coach,” said Illunor dismissively.
Illunor approached the backseat expectantly and the door opened for him automatically, allowing the dlc kobold to gracefully enter and lounge across the length of the seats, once again ignoring the seatbelts. I sighed as I made my way to the driver’s seat, and Edhel entered from the passenger side as he marveled at the automatic doors and the interior.
“What a strange carriage this is! Although I must say, shouldn’t you be retrieving your horses? I didn’t see any harnesses or sense any artifices,” inquired Edhel as he attempted to make himself comfortable on the car seat, lute in front of him.
“Oh no, this thing doesn’t need horses or magic,” I said with a chuckle as EVI started the car. The elf raised his eyebrows at the sudden hum of the engine and made an expression of alarm when the car started driving itself without my input. “See, purrs like a kitten.”
“Earthrealm must have some large kittens if they purr like that,” noted Edhel, “but you must be concealing the enchantments somewhere. Such a thing as this with such strange yet precise craftsmanship is only possible in the crownlands.”
“Nope, no magic,” I said cheerfully.
“Then how?” Asked Edhel.
“It’s rather simple really. Are you familiar with the workings of a mill?” I asked, deciding to keep things surface level and elementary to avoid provoking the IDOV threshold.
“Somewhat, though I confess to not being familiar with their workings. Are you suggesting this is akin to a mill?” Asked Edhel perplexed.
“It’s the same principal. A mill works by taking a source of rotation such as a waterwheel or windmill, transferring that rotation along a series of rotating shafts and interlocking gears, and finally putting that energy to work by rotating a millstone,” I began as the car pulled out onto the smooth cobbled road in the direction of Elaseer. A notification popped up in the corner of my vision indicating my recon drone swarm had shifted from a holding formation to a convoy screening formation, and while the roads were clear I kept the speed at 60km/h to account for my passenger’s apparent distaste for seatbelts.
“Rotation…” muttered Edhel. He turned to face one of the wheels and EVI pinged an alert for a probable match for a detection spell, “fascinating.”
“Edhel, what are you doing?” I asked.
“Oh, yes, perhaps I should have asked first. Yes, I can see how it all fits together. But the source of this rotation? I see no mighty river or great wind to power this, so where does it come from?” Asked Edhel, not really apologizing. Elven arrogance, it seemed, was not limited by class.
The act reminded me of Sorecar when he inspected my gun, but where the armourer had been respectful with it, Edhel was more flippant. I considered the possibility that he was a spy sent by one of her peers or the crownlands, though this did not mesh with the methods I had seen so far. Edhel may have been just overly enthusiastic. In either case, I quickly decided to only reveal the antique design for the ethanol engine, and not that of the batteries or the emergency coupler to my suit’s fusion reactor.
“Right, well please ask first next time. As to your question, I won’t bore you with the details, but the rotation is generated by creating a periodic sequence of explosions inside of a machine – a manaless artifice – called a combustion engine, said Emma.
“So that’s what that sound is…” pondered Edhel, “are these artifices typical in Earthream?”
“You are awfully inquisitive for a commoner,” noted Illunor as he inspected his nails for dirt, “and rather accepting of something which should be impossible.”
“I wouldn’t be much of a bard if I wasn’t, my lord,” said Edhel shifting uncomfortably in his seat, “perhaps some music might set the mood better?”
“That would be preferable, bard. I have heard enough of the Earthrealmer’s Road Trip Playlist and would like to listen to some music of real culture,” said Illunor.
The bard agreed and proceeded to awkwardly play a ballad about an adventurer who slew a hydra in some frozen wasteland. Partway through, I politely interrupted the Edhel to point out the seat controls much to his fascination and Illunor’s grumbling at their common nature, and after some adjustment the bard went on playing and I half-heartedly listened while I paid attention to the road and my drone feed.
Particularly after EVI detected something unusual and alerted me to its presence.
”Attention Caded Booker. There is a disabled vehicle blocking the primary route to destination. Heat signatures in the woods are consistent with that of an ambush.”
“Damn it,” I muttered.
I glanced at the drone feed to see a broken cart strewn horizontally across a wooden bridge over a brook. On the surface it looked like a pair of civilians who required aid and assistance, but off in the woods were several heat signatures, several of which held weapons of varying levels of enchantments. Occasionally one of the pair on the bridge would talk with them, suggesting they were in cahoots rather than hostages. I recalled crossing that very bridge not a few hours earlier, so the blockade was very recent.
“EVI, did we pass that cart on the way here?” I asked.
”Negative,” replied EVI.
I grimaced. I had been trained to handle road-side ambushes, but it was only something that was a theoretical possibility. Something that should only occur in a warzone or a corrupt and unstable polity. I knew I had the capacity to handle such an encounter, even non-lethally, but that didn’t change the fact that these were civilians and as such were the responsibility of local law enforcement. Combined with the fact that I had passengers I was responsible for and engaging the ambush was a risky option.
“EVI, give me a list of alternative routes,” I commanded.
”Affirmative. Here is a list of routes in order of recommendation,” replied EVI.
I looked over the routes superimposed on a map of the region and quickly dismissed taking a shortcut through the forest and cutting through farmland. A detour caught my eye that extended the journey by roughly ten kilometers and I immediately sent a pair of drones to scout it out before committing to the detour.
“Are you alright, Cadet Emma Booker? You seem distracted,” asked Edhel, snapping me back to reality.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just focused on driving,” replied Emma.
“I suppose it must be quite taxing to command an artificed carriage of this complexity. Perhaps it might ease your mind if you were to regale me a tale of a hero of your realm?” Said Edhel, strumming a complex tune from his lute as he spoke as each and every pluck triggered a low-level spell.
“Well, that may be a problem. We don’t have any monsters to fight, and wars are a thing of the past,” I said while desperately tip-toeing the subject of aunt Ran, the subject of war, and our voyages through the cosmos, “though we are not without the adventurous spirit. We certainly have many stories of grand voyages. Some mythical and fictional such as The Odyssey as told by the Greek poet Homer and some historical such as the race to the south pole.”
“The south pole,” muttered the bard, “so you have explored all of Earthrealm then? I suppose that makes some sense, if you have artifices such as this then traversal of a globe would be quite manageable.”
“You are quite perceptive,” I said, not wishing to elaborate.
“A great performer knows his audience,” said Edhel with a charming, honest, almost human smile.
I felt a pang of homesickness as an intrusive thought reminded me that I could have gone to a real college surrounded by friendly faces my age, engaging in nightly holostreams and dreaming of adventures in the stars from the safety of a college dorm room. The sight of Illunor in the rear camera was the only thing that kept me grounded, as I almost felt like I was back at home on a road trip rather than returning to a fantasy feudal court, constantly evading death at every turn with the fate of humanity on the line. As such, and prompted by EVI, I barely had the wherewithal to take the planned detour.
A fact which did not pass by Edhel.
“I believe you may have taken a wrong turn, Emma,” he commented.
“Nah, I’m just taking the scenic route. I came from that direction on the way here, and you have inspired me to see the other road and I figure it should only add a few extra minutes to our travel time,” I said, gesturing at a paper map which I had referenced exactly once, “though on that subject, you seem to know these lands quite well. Do you have any recommendations on places to visit in the Nexus to scratch that itch?”
Illunor raised his eyebrow at the detour excuse, knowing full well this was not part of the plan. I worried that he might complain about the issue and but thankfully remained silent as he snacked on the contents of the misused sample storage unit. Edhel himself took on a more pensive posture.
“I’m happy to have been such an inspiration, Emma, though I am sure an explorer such as yourself has little need of such. I would normally suggest the skyward fountains of Verdellan or the cloud tides of Asturia, but that may be too casual for someone of your calibre. Perhaps the severed chasm or the fire marsh of Bhandahova may be more to your liking. Or perhaps…” Edhel leaned in, “I have heard rumours of a dragon in the glassy obsidian wastes of Vurcanar.”
I chuckled at that, knowing how I was fortunate enough to fish a dragon scale out of the nearby lake for the ECS. “The thought of going dragon hunting had certainly crossed my mind…” I mused aloud.
“Yet you sound hesitant. Perhaps it is too much for a newrealmer. Perhaps a slime or a dire rat might be more appropriate,” he said with a tease.
“No, it’s not like that! It’s” I stammered, before attempting to change course after realizing I had been goaded, “what I mean is, I was under the impression that dragons were an endangered species. Where I come from, hunting endangered animals is usually illegal, and big game hunting in general is frowned upon. We do make exceptions in the case of problem animals such as if a large predator starts hunting humans, but as a rule we prefer conservation and try to find ways of coexisting with wildlife such as the use of barrier fences and scaring away dangerous animals rather than being forced to cull their numbers. Having a species go extinct would prevent future generations from appreciating them and risks destabilizing the ecosystem they are a part of. Now if this dragon was actively razing villages and eating civilians and livestock, that would be one thing, but this does not look to be the case. I don’t imagine the Nexus has any settlements in this wasteland, and the dragon clearly wants to be left alone. Killing an innocent dragon would be murder.”
I grinned to myself after delivering a diatribe that would have made my tenth grade social and environmental studies teacher beam with pride, though by the expressions of my passengers my view did not appear to be shared. Edhel’s mouth was agape in shock and fascination, while the Venurian in the back seat merely huffed in disapproval.
“I assure you Newrealmer, there are no innocent dragons,” stated Illunor with a hint of terseness breaking through his otherwise regal demeanor.
“Illunor, I understand that Venurians have personal reasons for not liking dragons, but you can’t just extend that disdain to their descendants or those uninvolved just because they are the same species,” I said.
“If I may interject on your behalf, my lord, I believe I can address Cadet Emma Booker’s concerns,” said Edhel with a bow. Illunor nodded in approval.
“Very well, you may proceed,” he said.
“Thank you, my lord. My dear Emma, you must understand that dragons are not simple animals driven entirely off of instinct as it appears to be the case in Earthrealm. They are monsters. Intelligent, long-lived, violent, greedy, cruel, territorial, selfish flesh-eating monsters. They are evil by the very nature of their being, unable to change by their own accord, and unwilling to change when His Eternal Majesty offered them freedom from their nature. It isn’t that they want to be evil. As intelligent animals – intelligent monsters – dragons are capable of understanding morality, and many have tried to overcome their evil nature at great expense to themselves. A well intended and noble sentiment, yet a doomed one as like all animals, they all succumb to their nature in the end. Overcoming one’s nature is impossible,” said Edhel. His eyes took on a stoic, almost remorseful gaze as he spoke, and Illunor nodded with approval.
I was appalled by this claim, not by the contents so much as how blatantly false it was. As a representative of the human race, I was a living counterexample to his whole argument. We had remained physiologically unchanged as a species since the last Ice Age, and yet in spite of that, in spite of our many flaws, we had found peace and balance. If we could do it, anyone could do it.
“Will all due respect Edhel, that is nonsense. Monsters aren’t born, they are made. It is the mark of any intelligent species can adapt their behaviour to their environment for better or worse, and under the right care any so-called monster can grow to be a force for good,” I began, but while I searched for the right words Edhel shook his head.
“I appreciate your race is an empathetic one, Emma, your idealism is unfounded. As flesh eaters, a dragon must take the life of another animal or person to survive, or they will perish. As such, every dragon has taken a life. As long-lived creatures, they will have amassed a significant number of kills. As the land can only support so much animals, a dragon must be fiercely territorial and aggressive to remove competition, lest they starve. As such, even the most kind-hearted dragon alive must be violent and greedy, and their intelligence fuels this even more so if they know a bountiful land of morsels exists just outside their range.
Now perhaps a multitude of dragons may find a way to co-exist together in some settlement, but to support such a venture would require a large territory of prey, or a livestock animal. Perhaps they could support a large colony by farming grain for their livestock, but that would require effort on their behalf. As large animals, such efforts require a great deal of energy. Yet that size makes it easy for them to intimidate smaller races to do their labour for them, and to keep their client race in line dragons must be cruel. And even so, as their numbers grow so do their needs. As such, they must expand into the lands of their neighbours to survive until there is nothing left to devour, at which point they must turn against their own lest they starve. As such, it is the nature of dragons to conquer and devour. That is why there is no such thing as an innocent dragon,” finished Edhel.
I was speechless, not because I believed Edhel had a point, but because I was horrified at how easy he found it to rationalize the extermination of an entire sapient species. If this was how the elves thought, then it wasn’t the dragons who were the monsters. I suppressed that dark thought. Edhel’s thought process was a product of his culture, not a feature of his elven heritage. If there was any hope of peace between our people, I needed to show him there was another way of being. I needed to prove that co-existence was possible, no matter one’s nature.
I took a deep breath to steady myself before replying.
“That- that is a callous way of seeing things,” I began, though the shock was still there in my voice, “you speak as though there is no natural equilibrium with a dragon, that their only state of being must be to be cruel, to devour, to conquer. But I see things differently. In fact, I might wonder if a fledgling civilization might see the presence of a dragon as a boon rather than a curse. Being intelligent, the locals may be able to come to some agreement with the dragon. Perhaps they might leave some land as a hunting ground or offer up a share of their cattle or guard the dragon as it sleeps. In exchange, the dragon might allow them to build a town outside its mountain and protect them in times of danger. An equitable exchange. A civilization might even create artificial lairs to attract dragons for this very reason. True, some dragons may behave tyrannical towards their town, but a well armed populace of a large city would be more than capable of fighting such a threat, and a rational dragon might reason that threatening their own populace would put their reliable source of food and shelter at risk. You see, it’s all a matter of perspective.”
“You certainly are an imaginative one, Emma, to wonder up a quixotic world where the hare and the fox live together in harmony as equals. Even so, you seem to have ignored one key detail to such a society. What would happen should the dragon not be fed for months on end?” Asked Edhel with his eyebrow raised.
“The same thing as stranded a dozen starving, stranded Elves!” I spat back.
[Alert: Vehicle speed above recommended limit for conditions. Recommendation: slow down. ]
“I am driving slow!” I seethed, not realizing I had sped up with manual control enabled.
“I grow tired of this common prattle,” interjected Illunor just in time to prevent an awkward silence, “bard, play us another song.” “As my lord wishes,” said Edhel with a bow before turning to me with another smile, “perhaps a more soothing melody would be in order? A love song perhaps, to honour Cadet Booker’s compassionate nature?”
I said nothing as Edhel began to strum his lute again to the tune of a love story of a pair of doomed lovers named Ramian and Junette, hating his cheeky knowing grin that only served to get under my skin further as I focused on calming down and slowing the car back to a more reasonable pace before investigating a priority alert which I had been blinded to moments prior.
[Alert: hostile roadblock is absent, location unknown.]
Shit.
“Illunor, we may have a problem,” I said.
“Shush, Newrealmer, have you no class? We are almost at the best part! I’m sure it can wait,” replied the contextually clueless lizard.
I had never wanted to throttle Illunor as much as I did now.
“Illunor, shield, now,” I said with a raised voice.
“I don’t see-“ he started, pausing mid-sentence as his ears perked up.
[Alert: Multiple manafield and spell signatures detected!]
I took evasive maneuvers as Illunor tried to piece together a shield spell, fumbling it twice as panic appeared to set in and providing me with a reminder that Illunor was a civilian, not a soldier. A hail of arrows pelted the exterior of the truck, piercing but not penetrating the composite armour. I was tempted to do nothing but just drive away from the arrow fire, but a foreboding premonition of danger filled me as I recalled Sorecar’s hunter-seeker arrows.
Seeking to avoid that fate, I triggered the active defenses.
The smoke screens deployed around the vehicle, obscuring the sight of any who depended on visible light to see me. A barrage of decoy flares equipped with wooden cores shot upward at angles and diffusing to the side like a pair of giant wings which when combined with the MFD, short for mana-field dampener, inside the vehicle meant that the pelting hail of arrowfire softened to a whirr as the arrows whiffed over the top of the truck, retargeted away from the soft flesh of my passengers and even invoking friendly fire amongst the ambushers.
In the chaos, EVI and my drone swarm fed me complete tactical information on the ambush. Of the 26 individuals at the first blockade, 20 were accounted for, and 3 had died from friendly fire. Ahead at the bridge, 5 more of them were at the bridge where a barrier had been hastily erected to cage me in as the river valley was too deep to cross.
“Illunor, we need a bridge,” I said, taking stock of the wellbeing of my passengers.
The bard was huddled down low and suppressing his manafield, but otherwise rather composed. Illunor, on the other hand, was cowering in the gap between the seats with his hands covering his eyes and his tail tucked in.
“A bridge is no small request, Ne- Cadet Emma Booker,” replied Illunor, “and your ‘Emeffdee’ has blinded me to the outside of this moving death trap.”
“If I drop it, can you at least make a ramp?” I asked as I circled the battlefield. Or tried to, at least, as earthen ramparts emerged from the ground from a yet unseen source to cut off other avenues of escape.
“A ramp? Surely you don’t mean-“ he stammered.
“Yes or no,” I said.
Illunor paused, before taking an unsteady breath.
“Yes. But not with that Emeffdee,” he replied.
“Good. Steady your nerves and prepare to make a ramp ahead of us on my signal,” I said, “in the meantime, get your seatbelt on. This is going to be hairy.”
As I circled around to make my approach on the bridge, the final combatant made his appearance on a nearby tree, revealing himself as an elven mage. An alert focused on the air around him indicating he was preparing an unknown high-tier spell, and I locked the predator drone on him indicating the elf as a high-priority target if our escape plan failed, and I was forced to use lethal force.
If I was forced to kill.
It was one thing to know you may have to kill in the line of duty, but it was much harder to reconcile that with reality. No number of simulations could match the real thing, and a part of me wanted to simply offload the responsibility to EVI to keep my hands clean, but to do that would be betraying my duty as a human being. I breathed in deep and tried not to think about it, instead hoping to rely on the ace I held in my sleeve instead.
“EVI, ready the spell jammer,” I said unevenly.
“Acknowledged, the prototype Exo-Radiation Wave-Field Distruptor is primed. High risk target identified and locked, permission to engage?” EVI asked, forcing me to address the dreaded question.
“Negative,” I replied, “hold your fire. If the ramp fails, then you have permission to engage,” I said.
“Affirmative, on your mark,” replied EVI.
I lined up the truck with the bridge and bolted through the smoke, keeping a careful eye on the mage as I went. His spellform took on a more concerning shape as I accelerated, and I realized I could not afford to let him finish his spell. I triggered the spelljammer.
A terrible roar erupted from an array of speakers printed from mana-resistant materials that would have made Godzilla herself beam with pride. The sound was decidedly unnatural, gnarly, dubstep drop composed of an electric eel, a whale, a mountain lion, and a tyrannosaurus rex all being simultaneously assaulted by a swarm of angry cybernetic murder hornets as an equally chaotic wave of mana blasted outwards from the exterior of the truck, with the interior thankfully sheltered by audio and mana dampening.
The ambushing assailants cowered and panicked, and it was enough to cause the Elven mage’s spell to backfire in his face as his form exploded into ashes, meeting a horrific fate which I had tried so desperately to help him avoid. With all the combatants momentarily incapacitated or dead, I lowered the dampener and turned off the smoke.
“Ramp!” I shouted, snapping the lizard back to reality.
The Venerian nodded and hastily formed an earthwork ahead of us right before the blockade, and the truck leapt off the ramp with a not insignificant amount of air beneath our wheels. I braced for impact, regretting skimping on the shocks in the name of preserving materials, but the impact never came.
[Alert: Friendly spell designated ‘Feather Fall’]
Illunor thankfully had enough wherewithal to gently land the steel brick, and I sped off into the distance away from the trap that had unfolded behind us, leaving the interior of the truck in an awkward silence as we each processed our brush with death in our own way. “How many are dead?” I asked EVI.
“6 hostiles confirmed dead,” replied EVI.
I drove on in silence. Those were six deaths I had tried to avoid, and I became lost in thought as I wondered what I should have done differently to avoid the confrontation entirely.
Edhel broke the silence with a bout of laughter.
“Terrific! Absolutely terrific! Why, I can conjure up many a tale from this encounter alone! I live for this kind of inspiration!” Exclaimed Edhel a little too chipperly considering the circumstance.
“I would rather not hear stories about how I bravely ran away,” I moaned in deadpan sarcasm.
“You think too little of yourself, Cadet Emma Booker. It is plain to me that you are no ordinary rabbit. Make no mistake, I see it as a privilege to bear witness to the roar of a vorpal hare!” Said Edhel as he supressed his laughter, “though I am afraid with all the excitement that I must finish my song some other time.”
“How about I play some of our music?” I offered after the elf revealed his thrill-seeking side.
“Splendid, I would like that. Perhaps something of your ‘Roadtrip playlist’ you speak of? It sounds like a collection of your voyages,” said Edhel.
“That would be an improvement on the truth,” said Illunor dismissively as he eased from his state of shock, “it is little more than noise under the pretense of music.”
“Illunor…” I muttered to myself before turning the mic on, “no, no it’s not like that. I have terabytes of pre-recorded songs from various artists back home which can be played by… an artifice called a speaker. A playlist is a set of songs which are grouped together, usually to listen to in specific situations such as studying, partying, or travelling. The latter collection is what Illunor is referring to.”
I very deliberately chose not to reveal my ‘Unfortunate Daughters’ playlist.
“An artifice which plays music, and a magicless one at that. I must say, Emma, I fear for the bards in your realm,” said Edhel with a laugh.
“Your fear is misplaced, Edhel. Entertainers live like kings where I come from,” I retorted with a smirk of my own, “well, the ones with talent at least.”
“Well, well, I suppose I have to hear my competition!” Said Edhel with a laugh.
“Do as you must, though let it be known that I warned you,” said Illunor as he watched a play on his sightseer.
I had EVI compile a list of songs that left out content offensive to Nexian sensibilities or violating OpSec and as it compiled I mused over what type of sample spread I wanted to show off. Then it struck me. What better way to show off our culture than with some good old blue jumpers and nova rock! Sadly, jumpers were unavailable to show but I still had a whole list of modern artists to choose from.
Moments later, the car speakers sprung to life to the tune of ‘Innocent Youth of Mine. Edhel’s eyes lit up like a child visiting a zero-g gravity park for the first time, seemingly star-struck by the antique electric guitar and the synthesizer-drums in particular.
“What… what is this? I have never heard anything like this!” Proclaimed Edhel.
“Dreadful, isn’t it?” said Illunor, doing what he did best and pretending to hate it.
“Oh there is a lot more where that came from,” I said with a cheeky grin of my own, “this one is called ‘Innocent Youth of Mine’ by ‘Cannons and Poppies’. It’s part of the Nova Rock genre.
“And those strange instruments?” Asked Edhel.
“Oh, you mean the electric guitar and the synthesizer. They are electronic instruments, taking advantage of channeled and modulated electricity to create near any sound we can imagine,” I replied.
“Channeled electricity… are you suggesting these sounds were made by some form of lightning?” Asked Edhel.
[Suggestion: Avoid topic of electricity due to OpSec risk]
I nodded at EVI’s warning, thankful that it caught me before I discussed the very thing that all of my equipment ran on.
“It’s not exactly lightning, but close enough,” I said.
“If I had not witnessed to your display of power earlier, I might have perhaps been more skeptical of such a claim, but I suppose a lady must keep her secrets.” said Edhel with a raised eyebrow and chuckle, “but I digress, this music is most interesting.”
“There is a lot more where that came from,” I said with a cheeky grin of my own.
“If I ever have a prisoner in need of torture, I will turn to you first,” replied Illunor, “if you are willing to subject your peers to this madness then I cannot imagine what you would force upon your enemies before dunking them in ice.”
“In your dreams,” I retorted.
I played a few other songs including Astrodesee’s ‘Meteor Struck’, the Martian classic ‘Hotel Cydonia’ and even ‘Switching to Warp’ before Elaseer emerged from the distance, and I pulled up outside the gate to drop Edhel off.
“Here already?” Asked Edhel.
“Well, yeah. I was just running a quick errand, I didn’t want to go too far,” I replied casually.
“That was a distance worth at least five days of walking by foot, and you call that a ‘quick errand’?” Asked Edhel. I shrugged, and he laughed.
“Well in any case, thank you for allowing me passage in your car. I must apologize for my lack of gift or payment…” said Edhel. “Don’t worry about it, it was on the way,” I replied.
“I see, how generous. Perhaps we might one day meet again?” Asked Edhel.
“Maybe, but I’m not sure how likely that is. The academy takes up most of my time,” I replied, “though you never know. I still have a lot of quest hours to complete.”
“Is that so? In that case, I hope we meet again! Goodbye Cadet Emma Booker and farewell Lord Illunor Rularia,” he said. “And good travels to you, bard,” said Illunor.
I waved off Edhel and drove back to the academy, Illunor still sulking in the back seat.
“Perhaps next time, you should steer us away from danger?” Suggested Illunor.
“I tried, but we were tracked,” I replied.
I groaned inwardly at the additional work needed to fix the truck. EVI compiled a list of upgrades for future engagements, batting away my idea for a ‘turbo mode’ and a ‘jump boost’. Though at the end of the day, meeting the bard wasn’t a complete loss. It felt good to talk to someone almost normal for once, and I hoped I met him again.
Edhel Redoehdelnif
I watched as Cadet Emma Booker’s vehicle went off into the distance, getting one last look at the Earthrealmer’s strange artifice before turning towards the gate. The voyage was an exotic experience, not unlike that of a fever dream or a peak into a world completely alien to my own. Indeed, it was a struggle to contain my excitement and enthusiasm and process the experience rationally as I made my way through the southern gates of Elaseer and turned the corner of an alley before entering an impossible structure that did not exist.
“You are earlier than expected,” said the shadowy figure of my handler as I made my way to the meeting hall.
“The Earthrealmer’s means of transportation proved far more expedient than anticipated, my lord” I spoke as I knelt before him, “even with her unexpected departure from the anticipated road and the ambush we traveled for scantly more than an hour.”
“Yes, I will require a full report from you. Perhaps you can shed some light on the ‘smoke dragon’ my men claim intervened on the Earthrealmer’s behalf,” said my handler.
“Smoke Dragon, my lord?” I asked.
My handler responded by activating his sight-seer, revealing how the ambush had appeared from the outside. The Earthrealmer’s uncanny artifice traversed down the road, a pair of manafields displaying proudly from within until the archers began their assault. The artifice then transformed as smoke billowed out from its pores and wings sprung forth above until it was the form of a mighty wrym with a pair of glowing eyes springing forth from its ever extending head where it then gave forth a terrible unholy roar which sent waves of mana outward. The mage working to seal the area and trap their mark vapourized in an instant as his spell backfired. It was apparent to Edhel that his exceptional experience in the carriage was merely a muted rendition of the events unfolding around them.
It would seem the hare had the shadow of a dragon.
“I do have some insight, though I must confess the Earthrealmer did very little in the way of direct action. I suspect she has some unseen means of commanding and scrying through her artifices,” I said, “one which does not utilize magic as we know it.”
“Such a statement is heresy,” said my handler, “but such special circumstances are your reason for being. I will require you submit your memories for verification. What is your appraisal of the new realmer?”
“The girl is far more dangerous than a surface appraisal would suggest, though she prefers to conceal that power rather than utilize it out of a misplaced sense of compassion. Her people appear to have a boundless creative drive through which such artifices are birthed, though again it is misdirected towards more common applications. I believe that if properly tamed, this human animal may provide us with great works of art,” I said with a bow.
“I see. Does the girl know you work for us?” Asked my handler.
“She may harbour some suspicions, though did not voice them outright beyond concealing her knowledge,” I said, “though nothing significant. Provided our next meet is under believable circumstances such as a festival she should view me as cordial.”
“She has indeed proven clever,” conceded my handler, “very well, I will make arrangements for your paths to cross again. Perhaps I will arrange for her to be a contestant at the next inter-academy tournament. In the mean time, prepare your report and don’t wander far. This is a priority assignment.”
“As you wish, my lord,” I said with a bow and a smile.
Emma Booker had proved to be an interesting animal indeed, and I hoped our paths crossed again.

As title says, anyone know which mod this book is from if any? other books/other items to craft dont crash my game but this one does. Any help appreciated!
Following is my Modlist: Skyrim.esm
Update.esm
Dawnguard.esm
HearthFires.esm
Dragonborn.esm
ccBGSSSE001-Fish.esm
ccQDRSSE001-SurvivalMode.esl
ccBGSSSE037-Curios.esl
ccBGSSSE025-AdvDSGS.esm
_ResourcePack.esl
Unofficial Skyrim Special Edition Patch.esp
Navigator-NavFixes.esl
RSkyrimChildren.esm
Obsidian Mountain Fogs.esm
TrueHUD.esl
RealisticWaterTwo - Resources.esm
ApachiiHair.esm
Beards of Power.esp
EFFCore.esm
IFPVDetector.esl
Better Dynamic Snow SE - DisableRefs.esm
SkyrimImprovedPuddles-DG-HF-DB.esp
SkyUI_SE.esp
GQJ_DG_vampireamuletfix.esp
UnlimitedBookshelves.esp
Better_Male_Presets.esp
Obsidian Weathers.esp
SMIM-SE-Merged-All.esp
Better Dynamic Snow SE.esp
Lore Weapon Expansion - Daedric Crescent.esp
Lore Weapon Expansion - Goldbrand.esp
Lore Weapon Expansion - Relics of the Crusader.esp
Immersive Movement.esp
aMidianBorn_Book of Silence.esp
EnhancedLightsandFX.esp
ELFX Shadows.esp
Dark_Forests_FULL.esp
ELFX - Exteriors.esp
ELFX - NoPlayerHomes.esp
Snazzy Furniture and Clutter Overhaul.esp
Distinct Interiors.esp
The Forts of Skyrim-Rebuilt.esp
Medieval Lanterns of Skyrim.esp
JK's Castle Volkihar.esp
Book Covers Skyrim.esp
CollegeOfWinterholdImmersive.esp
JKs Skyrim.esp
Dark_Eden_Forests_Solstheim.esp
Skyrim Immersive Creatures Special Edition.esp
RealisticNordShips2.0.esp
JK's Understone Keep.esp
EconomyOverhaulandSpeechcraftImprovements.esp
EconomyOverhaul CV - DistinctInteriors Patch.esp
Eli_Breezehome.esp
JK's Blue Palace.esp
Skyrim Bridges.esp
JK's The Winking Skeever.esp
JK's Temple of the Divines.esp
OpulentThievesGuild.esp
Weathered Road Signs.esp
SBtN.esp
Ryn's Standing Stones.esp
JK's Arnleif and Sons Trading Company.esp
ScribesofSkyrim.esp
Odin - Skyrim Magic Overhaul.esp
JK's Jorrvaskr.esp
JK's Mistveil Keep.esp
EconomyOverhaulCellsandWorldspacesEditsAddon.esp
JK's Haelga's Bunkhouse.esp
JK's Temple of Mara.esp
JK's Palace of the Kings.esp
JK's Temple of Dibella.esp
JK's The Hag's Cure.esp
Nordic Ruins of Skyrim.esp
SpiceOfLife - OrcLStrongholds.esp
Hothtrooper44_ArmorCompilation.esp
Guard Dialogue Overhaul.esp
Weapons Armor Clothing & Clutter Fixes.esp
SIC AMB Patch.esp
CWIEnLFXSEPatch.esp
Reliquary of Myth.esp
Particle Patch for ENB SSE.esp
WACCF_Armor and Clothing Extension.esp
JK's Sinderion's Field Laboratory.esp
Immersive Weapons.esp
Lore Weapon Expansion.esp
aMidianBorn Armor Variants Lite.esp
JK's Dragonsreach.esp
JKs Dragonsreach - ScrollScribe patch.esp
JK's Silver-Blood Inn.esp
JK's Elgrims Elixirs.esp
JK's Bee and Barb.esp
JK's New Gnisis Cornerclub.esp
JK's The Pawned Prawn.esp
Guards_Armor_Replacer.esp
Extra Guards.esp
Skyrim Better Roads and Bridges - All In One - Merged.esp
JK's Riverwood Trader.esp
JK's Radiant Raiment.esp
Guards_Armor_Replacer_Minimal_AE_CW_Patch.esp
Cloaks.esp
OBIS SE.esp
Fashions of the Banditry.esp
Deadly Shadows for JK Skyrim.esp
Inigo.esp
JK's The Bannered Mare.esp
JK's White Phial.esp
Immersive War and Violence.esp
fallentreebridgesSSE.esp
OBIS Loot SE.esp
Cloaks of Skyrim.esp
ELFX Shadows - JK The Bannered Mare patch.esp
JK's Sleeping Giant Inn.esp
Scrollwriting.esp
EmbersHD.esp
ELFX Shadows - JK Dragonsreach patch.esp
fortdawnguardimmersive.esp
FDIELnFXPatch.esp
OpulentThievesGuildPatch.esp
JK's Temple of Talos.esp
JK's Candlehearth Hall.esp
JK's The Ragged Flagon.esp
JKs Ragged Flagon - OTG Patch.esp
JK's Bits and Pieces.esp
JK's Warmaiden's.esp
Eli_Breezehome [PATCH - JK's Skyrim].esp
JK's Arcadia's Cauldron.esp
JK's Sadris Used Wares.esp
JK's Temple of Kynareth.esp
ELFX Shadows - JK Jorrvaskr patch.esp
Men of Winter.esp
JKs Blue Palace - SFCO Patch.esp
PrvtIRoyalArmory.esp
Royal Armory Tweaks.esp
JK's Riverfall Cottage.esp
InsanitySorrow Weapons Pack.esp
Guard Lanterns.esp
NordicRunestones.esp
ELFX Shadows - JK Candlehearth Hall patch.esp
Distinct Interiors - FPS Fix.esp
SFCO - Distinct Interiors Patch.esp
LS_VanderCourier.esp
CWRepairs.esp
JKs Skyrim - USSEP Patch.esp
JKs The Drunken Huntsman.esp
Ancient Trees of Skyrim.esp
JK's SkyHaven Forge.esp
fallenbridgesSSE-Patch.esp
BlendedRoadsFixes.esp
JKs Ragged Flagon - OTG - ELFX Patch.esp
ELFX Shadows - Opulent Thieves Guild Patch.esp
ELFX Shadows - USSEP patch.esp
JKs Ragged Flagon - ELFX Patch.esp
Opulent Thieves Guild - ELFX Patch.esp
Opulent Thieves Guild - USSEP Patch.esp
FDIMLOSPatch.esp
JKs Blue Palace - JKs Skyrim Patch.esp
JKs Elgrims Elixirs - Bee and Barb Patch.esp
Apocalypse - Magic of Skyrim.esp
Summermyst - Enchantments of Skyrim.esp
JKs Dragonsreach - SFCO Patch.esp
VisualAnimatedEnchants.esp
ELFX - Hearthfire Light Addon.esp
MCMHelper.esp
iHUD.esp
RaceMenu.esp
RaceMenuPlugin.esp
UnequipQuiverSE.esp
DeadlySpellImpacts.esp
PSI.esp
Whiterun Tower - Mesh Fix.esp
BlendedRoads.esp
SkyrimIsWindy.esp
Skyrim Flora Overhaul.esp
Summermyst - WACCF Patch.esp
aMidianBorn Armor Variants Lite - WACCF Patch.esp
Andromeda - Unique Standing Stones of Skyrim.esp
Wildcat - Combat of Skyrim.esp
dD - Enhanced Blood Main.esp
dD-Larger Splatter Size.esp
Blended Shorelines.esp
DustEffectsSSE.esp
Guard's Armor Replacer - WACCF Balanced Patch.esp
Unlimited Bookshelves - WACCF patch.esp
JS Unique Utopia SE - Rings - Johnskyrim.esp
NorthernGrass.esp
SkygazerMoonsSize.esp
Obsidian Weathers MCM.esp
ELFX Shadow - ELFX Exteriors Patch.esp
Smoking Torches And Candles.esp
IFDSFCOPatch.esp
PAN_NPCs_Males.esp
Cloaks&Capes.esp
Cloaks - Dawnguard.esp
IFDWACCFPatch.esp
Opulent Thieves Guild - SFCO Patch.esp
ELFX Shadows - JK Ragged Flagon patch.esp
ELFX Shadows - JK Arcadia's Cauldron patch.esp
JK's Belethor's General Goods.esp
ELFX Shadows - JK Belethor's General Goods.esp
ELFX Shadows - JK New Gnisis Cornerclub patch.esp
ELFX Shadows - JK Palace of the Kings.esp
ELFX Shadows - JK White Phial patch.esp
ELFX Shadows - JK The Drunken Huntsman patch.esp
ELFX Shadows - JK Sleeping Giant Inn patch.esp
ELFX Shadows - JK Sadris Used Wares patch.esp
ELFX Shadows - JK Temple of Kynareth patch.esp
ELFX Shadows - JK Temple of Mara.esp
ELFX Shadows - JK Temple of Talos.esp
ELFX Shadows - JK Warmaiden's patch.esp
Opulent Thieves Guild - FPS Fix.esp
icepenguinworldmapclassic.esp
HPP - Vaermina's Torpor.esp
FleshFX.esp
HPP - My fixes by Xtudo - Chopping Blocks.esp
Shrubbery Symphony Enhanced Greenery.esp
Ivy Replacer BOS.esp
Nordic Stonewalls - Patch - JKs White Phial.esp
Vanilla Rain and Snow Remade.esp
Simple Snow Improvements - Skyrim.esp
Simple Snow Improvements - Giant Obelisk.esp
Simple Snow Improvements - Snow Forts.esp
Simple Snow Improvements - Solstheim Ruins.esp
Awesome Potions Simplified by Revoith.esp
No Drink FX.esp
Arvak Reborn.esp
LightBodyHorsesReplacer.esp
Shadowmere Rework.esp
Apophysis_DPM_SE.esp
OdahviingReplacer_Legendary.esp
NWTA.esp
RoM - WACCF Patch.esp
Immersive Weapons - NWTA Patch.esp
Unique Uniques.esp
Rudy Nordic Pottery SSE.esp
SGEyebrows.esp
TheEyesOfBeauty.esp
KSHairdosSMP.esp
Blackbeerd's Beards.esp
Beards.esp
Brows.esp
Bijin Warmaidens.esp
Bijin NPCs.esp
Scimitar_Fix.esp
Bijin_CWBattleRikke_Patch.esp
Bijin Wives.esp
PAN_NPCs.esp
PAN_NPCs_Males2.esp
PAN_NPCs_DG.esp
PAN_NPCs_DB.esp
PAN_Sovngarde.esp
VioLens SE.esp
RSChildren.esp
Gamepad++.esp
Hothtrooper44_Armor_Ecksstra.esp
Immersive Armors - Asdasfa Tweaks and Fixes.esp
Cloaks - USSEP Patch.esp
JKs Temple of Talos - USSEP patch.esp
JKs Temple of Talos - ACE Patch.esp
JKs Temple of Talos - SFCO patch.esp
Cloaks of Skyrim - JKs Temple of Talos.esp
Cloaks of the Nords for Guards.esp
GirlHeavyArmor.esp
Tribunal Robes for SSE.esp
JKs Palace of the Kings - GAR Patch.esp
JKsPalaceoftheKings-GuardArmorReplacerPatch.esp
HeavyLegion.esp
FaceMasksOfSkyrim.esp
Ursine Armour - Non HDT.esp
StendarrPaladinArmor.esp
JKs Ragged Flagon - USSEP Patch.esp
TW3Weaponry.esp
Billyro Swords.esp
Lazy Weapon Pack.esp
Lazy Weapon Pack 2.esp
WACCF Weapons - NWTA Patch.esp
Unique Uniques - NWTA Patch.esp
RoM - Unique Uniques Patch.esp
EFFDialogue.esp
EffDistancefix.esp
Rische_NoUglyCombatIdlesForVanilla.esp
Followers_StealthKills.esp
Inigo Riding Patch (ESPFE).esp
Snazzy_Inigo_Items.esp
Dovahnique's High Poly Inigo.esp
Eli_Breezehome [ADDON - ELFX-FX].esp
SimpleHorse.esp
OBIS SE - Immersive Weapons Patch.esp
OBISCloaks.esp
Spell Learning.esp
scrollwriting_Apocalypse.esp
Lafreakshows VAE Summermyst Patch.esp
Andromeda Nerf.esp
Crime Overhaul.esp
Immersive Movement - Wildcat Patch.esp
Character Creation Overhaul.esp
CCO - Diverse Races And Genders.esp
CCO - Dynamic Skill Progression.esp
EconomyOverhaul CV - WACCF Patch.esp
EconomyOverhaul CV - CloaksOfSkyrim Patch.esp
Realistic AI Detection 3 - Medium Interior, Medium Exterior.esp
Resistances and Weaknesses.esp
RaW - ArmorPlugin.esp
RaW - NPC_Armaments.esp
3PCO.esp
KS Hairdo's.esp
BetterThirdPersonSelection.esp
PickpocketChanges.esp
OrdinaryThieves.esp
JKs Arcadias Cauldron - USSEP Patch.esp
JKs Arnleif and Sons - Rugnarok patch.esp
JKs Bannered Mare - Immersion Patch.esp
JKs Bannered Mare - SFCO Patch.esp
JKs Bee and Barb - SFCO Patch.esp
JKs Belethors General Goods - Rugnarok patch.esp
JKs Belethors General Goods - SFCO Patch.esp
JKs Bits and Pieces - Rugnarok patch.esp
JKs Bits and Pieces - USSEP Patch.esp
JKs Blue Palace - Immersion Patch.esp
JKs Candlehearth Hall - SFCO Patch.esp
JKs Candlehearth Hall - Rugnarok patch.esp
JKs Dragonsreach - Rudy HQ Miscellaneous Patch.esp
JKs Drunken Huntsman - SFCO Patch.esp
JKs Drunken Huntsman - USSEP Patch.esp
JKs Elgrims Elixirs - Rugnarok patch.esp
JKs Elgrims Elixirs - SFCO Patch.esp
JKs Haelgas Bunkhouse - JKs Skyrim Patch.esp
JKs Haelgas Bunkhouse - Rugnarok patch.esp
JKs Haelgas Bunkhouse - SFCO Patch.esp
JKs Hags Cure - SFCO Patch.esp
JKs Mistveil Keep - SFCO Patch.esp
JKs New Gnisis Cornerclub - Rugnarok patch.esp
JKs New Gnisis Cornerclub - SFCO Patch.esp
JKs Palace of the Kings - SFCO Patch.esp
JKs Palace of the Kings - USSEP Patch.esp
JKs Pawned Prawn - Rugnarok patch.esp
JKs Radiant Raiment - SFCO Patch.esp
JKs Radiant Raiment - USSEP Patch.esp
JKs Radiant Raiment - Immersion Patch.esp
JKs Riverwood Trader - Rugnarok patch.esp
JKs Riverwood Trader - SFCO patch.esp
JKs Sadris Used Wares - Rugnarok patch.esp
JKs Sadris Used Wares - ACE Patch.esp
JKs Sadris Used Wares - SFCO Patch.esp
JKs Silver-Blood Inn - SFCO Patch.esp
JKs Sinderions Field Laboratory - SFCO patch.esp
JKs Sleeping Giant Inn - SFCO Patch.esp
JKs Temple of Dibella - ACE Patch.esp
JKs Temple of Mara - Rugnarok patch.esp
JKs Temple of Mara - SFCO Patch.esp
JKs Temple of the Divines - SFCO patch.esp
JKs Temple of the Divines - Rugnarok patch.esp
JKs Temple of the Divines - USSEP Patch.esp
JKs Understone Keep - GAR patch.esp
JKs Understone Keep - SFCO patch.esp
JKs Understone Keep - USSEP patch.esp
JKs White Phial - SFCO Patch.esp
JKs White Phial - Rugnarok patch.esp
JKs Winking Skeever - Alternate Start Mods Patch.esp
JKs Winking Skeever - USSEP Patch.esp
JKs Winking Skeever - SFCO Patch.esp
JKs Winking Skeever - Immersion Patch.esp
JKs Blue Palace - Royal Armory Replacer Patch.esp
JKs Palace of the Kings - Cloaks Patch.esp
JKs Radiant Raiment - Cloaks Patch.esp
JKs Temple of Talos - Cloaks of Skyrim patch.esp
PoisoningExtended.esp
Guard Dialogues.esp
Chesko_WearableLantern.esp
CWR_JKTemple_Patch.esp
Nemesis PCEA.esp
XPMSE.esp
DSerArcheryGameplayOverhaul.esp
EVGConditionalIdles.esp
Immersive Equipping Animations.esp
FNISSexyMove.esp
SmoothCam.esp
TrueDirectionalMovement.esp
InsanitySorrow Weapons Pack - NWTA Patch.esp
FNIS.esp
BeardMaskFix.esp
BeardMaskFix_WACCF_Patch.esp
OBIS WACCF Patch.esp
RSChildren_WACCF_Patch.esp
SIC ACE Patch.esp
SIC WACCF Patch.esp
Cloaks&Capes_ACE_Patch.esp
Cloaks_ACE_Patch.esp
Imperious - Races of Skyrim.esp
Trade & Barter.esp
EconomyOverhaul CV - TradeandBarter Patch.esp
Complete Crafting Overhaul_Remastered.esp
Guard's Armor Replacer - CCOR Consistency.esp
BookCoversSkyrim_CCOR_Patch.esp
Cloaks_CCOR_Patch.esp
GemlingQueen_CCOR_Patch.esp
Hothtrooper44_ArmorCompilation_CCOR_Patch.esp
Immersive Weapons_CCOR_Patch.esp
JSCircletReplacer_CCOR_Patch.esp
Unique Uniques_CCOR_Patch.esp
Complete Alchemy & Cooking Overhaul.esp
JKs Sinderions Field Laboratory - CACO patch.esp
JKs Blue Palace - CACO patch.esp
EconomyOverhaul CV - CACO Patch.esp
CACO_BookCoversSkyrim_Patch.esp
CACO_SkyrimImmersiveCreaturesSE_Patch.esp
Inigo_CACO_Patch.esp
Odin_CACO_Patch.esp
SkyrimIsWindy_CACO_Patch.esp
Ordinator - Perks of Skyrim.esp
CWIOrdinatorPatchSSE.esp
Apocalypse - Ordinator Compatibility Patch.esp
Ordinator - Apply Spell Conditions Fix.esp
Ordinator Enchantment Tweaks.esp
EconomyOverhaul CV - Ordinator Patch.esp
CACO_Ordinator_Patch.esp
CCOR_Ordinator.esp
Alternate Start - Live Another Life.esp
JKs New Gnisis Cornerclub - Alternate Start patch.esp
JKs Sinderions Field Laboratory - Alternate Start patch.esp
Alternate Start - Live Another Life_WACCF_Patch.esp
RealisticWaterTwo.esp
RealisticWaterTwo - Alt Volcanic Watercolor.esp
JKs Ragged Flagon - RW2 Patch.esp
ELFXEnhancer.esp
ELFX Enhancer - Realistic Water Two patch.esp
Atlas Map Markers.esp
Modern Brawl Bug Fix.esp

That’s all it was. A game.
Something my friends and I used to play during the summer when we had nothing better to do. I never expected that it would get so out of hand.
I never expected it to come back long after recovery.
To anyone reading, please don’t do what I did.
I’m putting this out there to warn people.
On that warm summer evening, we played the role of Pandora.
Except, the monsters we released were far worse than what’s told in stories.
Because stories end.
And this doesn’t.
I still remember the date. July 16, 2013. I was an upcoming senior in high school while the others were getting prepared for their freshman year of college, raving on about their majors, life plans, dorms, you get the point. The summer had been bittersweet as those months would be the last I’d see them for a while. Because of this, Anthony, Lola, Eliza, and I would spend the bulk of our time together going to festivals and various camping trips, trying to make the most out of the summer while we could. On that day, the day I wish I could forget, Eliza had run late to one of our hangouts at my place. This was odd since as an Ivy league student, she was usually early or right on time to these kind of things. Half past three, we heard her knocking on my door rapidly, which was also out of character considering that she was usually the calm one in our group. A bit worried, I hurried down the stairs with Anthony and Lola following close behind, expecting Eliza to be in hysterics due to her frantic behavior. When I opened the door, however, there she was with a bright smile on her face, her red hair getting in the way of her eyes, which were a dark green shade. She pushed her hair out of her face with one hand and held a brown box in the other, and she was bouncing up and down as she usually does when she’s about to talk about something exciting.
“You’ll never believe what I found.” Eliza’s voice could barely hold her impatience as she stepped inside and kicked her shoes off once she crossed over my threshold.
“What’s up with you today?” Anthony questioned, looking more confused than concerned now.
“I’ll show you guys in a minute. Can we go up to your room, Felix?” Eliza looked over at me with her trademark smile, knowing damn well we were all too curious to just leave that box unopened. Without a word, I led the group up to my room and shut the door after everyone had walked in. Anthony took his usual spot on my beanbag and unzipped his hoodie, which had the MSM logo sprawled across the front in big red letters. He adjusted his dark rimmed glasses and took on his usual stoic expression. Lola wore a dark blue FIT shirt, which she revealed more of when she moved her locs over her shoulder as she sat on my desk chair and wheeled over to us. As she did, the various necklaces she wore clinked against each other. Eliza herself was the smartest out of the group, and probably in the whole school as well. She had gotten accepted into multiple prestigious schools, but ultimately settled for Harvard to pursue a degree in some obscure philanthropic career. Unlike Anthony and Lola, Eliza wore her regular outfit –usually a white tank top and jeans– and sat on my bed with the box in her lap. I took a seat next to her to get a closer look.
“So what’d you find?” The others moved closer.
“Something we probably haven’t thought about for a really long time. Do you guys remember that one game we used to play in middle school? The one we made after Felix joined our class?” Eliza looked at our puzzled faces to see if we had connected the dots, but her clue didn’t seem to strike any of us with familiarity.
“After Felix joined? Didn’t we just hang out or something that weekend?” Anthony questioned.
“We did, but there was something else,” Eliza raised an eyebrow, “you guys seriously don’t remember?”
At that moment, I saw Lola’s eyes light up and a thin smile grew on her lips, something she always did whenever she was able to figure something out.
“You mean that little map game we played? Where we would go out to the woods and explore?”
Both Anthony and I seemed to have remembered as well with the mention of a ‘map game.’ I chimed in, “ yeah I remember! Every once in a while when we were all bored, we’d pick a random spot on a map to go to and explore there for a bit, right? When did we stop doing that anyways? I remember really enjoying it.”
“Well life happens,” Eliza responded to me, “but I was thinking of things to do for the rest of the summer when I suddenly remembered that game! That’s why I was so late for our meetup today, I was looking through my attic for this.” Eliza shook the box slightly and a couple things clattered around inside.
“There’s no way.” Anthony sounded like he was in disbelief.
“You mean…?” Lola sat forward in the chair. Eliza smirked, her adventurous nature creeping out as realization swept over us like a wave.
“Mhm! I found the map we used to use as well as the things we collected from our little escapades.” With that, Eliza opened the box, revealing a folded piece of paper and various trinkets scattered over the bottom of the capsule. Lola squealed with excitement and immediately snatched the box from Eliza, who simply chuckled and leaned back on the bed.
“No way! Everything’s still in here!” Lola digged through the box and placed whatever objects she found across the blanket. Anthony got up and sat at the foot of my bed, to observe our findings more closely. There was a piece of some clay pottery, some rusty springs and scraps of metal, an old digital camera, and some other random stuff I can’t recall to memory right now. Anthony picked up a spring and turned it in his palm.
“Shit man, this is from that abandoned junkyard we found in 8th grade…that feels like such a long time ago now.”
I examined the piece of pottery with Eliza looking over my shoulder. Lola picked up the digital camera.
“Do you remember where this came from?” I turned to Eliza and held up my discovery.
“No clue,” she shrugged. It must have been a while ago if even she didn’t remember. I turned the piece over and grew curious when I saw weird symbols inscribed on the inside of it. I squinted a bit, trying to discern some sort of pattern within the scribbles.
I turned to Eliza again, “hey, what do you think-”
“OH MY GOD GUYS IT STILL WORKS!” Lola’s voice went up a whole octave as she motioned to us.
The rest of us looked up as she turned the camera to face us. There were various photos we went through. All of us at lakes, museums, exploring the woods; everything we did from 7th grade until my freshman year seemed to be documented. The last photo was arguable the best and msot bittersweet. It was a picture of the whole group from a while ago. We were sitting at Eliza’s dinner table with a giant chocolate cake on the middle of it adorned with two candles shaped like the numbers one and five. Eliza was talking to me in the photo. Her hair was even more red at the time and she wore it in a braid. I looked about the same in the photo as I did then, with light brown hair, blue eyes, and freckles scattered all over my body and face. I was smiling sheepishly at Eliza. I now knew why Anthony said it was obvious I had a crush on her in 8th grade. Lola went through the most changes out of all of us. At the time in the photo, she had her hair straightened and side-swept, with a bright pink streak in her bangs. She wore clunky jewlery and a frilly skirt underneath a long tank top, leaning over the table to cut another slice of cake. All of us had birthday hats on except for Anthony, who kept his sitting on the table. He held up a peace sign staring straight into the camera with a stoic expression. He looked like a statue compared to the rest of us, who were laughing and smiling. You could tell he was having fun, though.
“Well don’t you look like a ray of sunshine,” Lola snickered as Anthony shot her a dirty look.
“At least I didn’t go through some weird scene phase in freshman year,” He smiled and watched Lola’s face, knowing she was blushing despite her dark skin which made it practically invisible. I let a laugh slip out, but quickly stifled it knowing that if I kept going it would mean death. Lola side-eyed me and continued, “I was using my creative liberty to experiment with my options as an artist,” she said with an overly-posh accent that made Eliza laugh.
“Yeah Anthony, don’t be such a downer,” Eliza teased. Anthony simply rolled his eyes and suppressed a smile to pretend like he was mad at all of us. He looked into the box and picked up the paper we left, unfolding it with a hint of excitement and curiosity. When he looked at it, only two words came out of his mouth.
“Holy shit.”
“What, what is it?” Lola tried to look at the other side of the paper, but Anthony quickly held it out of her view.
“What if I didn’t want to show you?” A smile crept onto his face. This was one of those rare moments where he’d be in the moos to joke around with us.
“Don’t be a dick bro,” I said, laughing as I went to grab for the paper. Anthony just held it up in the air and pushed me off of him and I landed on my floor. While he was distracted, though, Eliza took her chance and snatched the paper right out of his hand.
“You boys need to learn to be nice,” she warned in her jokingly stern voice as she unfolded the paper and spread it out onto my bed. We all leaned over to look.
It was a map of a couple towns including ours. There were around ten small star stickers placed on different areas on the map near the streets the four of us lived in. On the top of the map, a couple words were scrawled in black sharpie; “Pick a Place!” I could see everyone’s faces light up.
“Oh my god it’s our map!” Lola shouted and pointed to one of the stars near her street, “this was where we found that old junkyard right?”
Eliza smiled, “I remember that. It feels like such a long time ago now.” She pointed to another star, “and this is where we found that lake we made a hideout of. I still remember swimming in there in 8th grade…”
The four of us reminisced for a while, talking about where we had gone and what we did there, and how impressive it was that we didn’t get tetanus from that junkyard. After nearly an hour of conversation, Eliza asked something that made all of us stop.
“So how about it guys? Do you want to do one last round before the summer ends?”
The rest of us looked around at each other. It was clear we all wanted to do it. Eliza seemed to catch on and she nodded.
“Who wants to pick where we go?”
“How about you do the honors?” Lola suggested, motioning towards the map. “You’re the one that brought this stuff in anyways.”
Eliza raised her eyebrow but didn’t object. Without a word, she examined the map for a few minutes, then placed her finger on one spot a bit far from my house.
“How about here?”
“You think we can make it that far?” Anthony asked.
“Well, we can drive now so why not?”
“You sure there’s some type of trail we can drive on? That spot looks pretty deep in the woods”
“We can find a path to drive on for a bit then walk the rest of the way. C’mon guys, this is probably our last chance to do something like this! Felix, you can drive right?”
Eliza and the rest turned to me with a hopeful expression. I had to comply.
“Sure. No big deal, right?”
All three of them cheered and high fived each other, looking pretty excited to go on one last adventure.
“So when do we leave?” I questioned.
Eliza flashed that smile again, “right now.”
“Right now?!”
“Hell yeah,” Lola chimed in. “It shouldn’t take that long, right?”
“I guess…” Even then I felt uneasy about the whole thing. I didn’t feel prepared enough to go on some random trip into the woods. I needed to pack food, water, flashlights, I had no idea how long this was going to take. Little did I know that those things would be the least of my worries a couple hours from then. I wish I could go back and convince my 17-year-old self that it wasn’t worth it, that I should just convince my friends to stay and talk for the rest of the day. I wish Eliza had never remembered that stupid game. In a way, I’m almost mad at her for what happened, but I know it wasn’t anyones fault. We just wanted to have fun. I wish we could’ve just had fun. But God had a different plan for us. One that made me think Satan himself devised it instead. On July 16, 2013, Anthony He, Lola Smith, Eliza Landserson, and Felix Johanson went on an adventure that none of them were ready for.
Author's Note:
If you just read all of that then thank you so so so much for doing so! I'm a rookie writer, so feel free to comment any constructive criticism you might have if you have actual writing experience! This is the first silly little story I'm posting here, so I hope you enjoyed :)

Hi everyone! I went looking for this on this page and couldn’t find anything. So I received a letter from my insurance saying that I my medicine was covered up until October of this year. But I haven’t been able to get a hold of them so I was wondering if y’all could help! Does that mean it covers it even after my insurance renews in July? Does it only apply to the dose I’m on rn? Like if I go up a dose like it start all over and cover that one again. I just have a ton of questions and can’t call cause of the weekend. If it helps I have blue cross blue shield.

Hey love Reading Clementine centric fics especially with a focus on her developing a ruthlessness to survive while keeping her humanity. However I've developed an itch I can't seem to find an fic to scratch.
I'm looking for a decently long fic 50k or more but I will settle for less since I'm that desperate!
Where Clem from season 3 or 4 or in between runs into Lee. (I'm sure you can see why I would like this.)
If it doesn't exist then here's some inspiration. Imagine a Lee who spared clementine the pain of shooting him and wakes up a few days after she leaves realising he had succeeded in stopping the bite by losing his arm. He escapes the handcuffs and leaves savannah and over the next 2 years focuses on finding clementine while surviving.
He eventually hears a gunshot in the woods and sneaks over to see what was happening finding christa who had successfully shot one of the 3 men surrounding her. He goes in to help and as he kills the second the third is able to stab christa in the stomach. Overcome by rage Lee smashes his head into a tree "joel style" as he holds a dying christa she points in a random direction and with her final breath hears "clementine" reluctantly he puts her down and rushes forward his mind locked onto the one shred of hope he has to live through the end of the world.
However as he reaches an open area cleaved through by a raging torrent. He spots a man his face being used as a chew toy for a walker while others chase after... CLEMENTINE. He runs cleaving through walkers chasing after his little girl and he goes to yell her name, to draw attention away from her or just to make this feel more real He doesn't know. But as he does he watches as she slips a walker hidden from her view pushing her into the frothing current. And after 2 years of searching Lee finally broke watching the closest person he will ever have to a daughter fall to her death.
Lee drifted for the next 6 years. A dead man walking in a world of the walking dead. Hunt, kill, move on and repeat. The rotting hacked a part and the living swiftly shot. He wondered why he still lived most days, she was only a girl he knew for a few months sure he knew of her for longer but he only spent time with her for such a short blip in the span of his life. But when he though back to her in the barn innocently wondering what the smell was, to her drawings with duck or her smile when he gave her the last apple they had at the motel. It fed the dwindling flame of his person for another day, as it had the day before and the day before that.
He was in another forest now, the trees were different and it was warmer too, but it still dragged him back to his sole nightmare for the last few years. Her falling, and being swallowed whole.
He was a little too lost in his memories so when he felt a snag at his feet he thought nothing of it, that was until he was raised off the grown by a jerk so sudden he dropped hatchet he had taken from the corspe of a near frozen solid walker up north a few years ago.
He looked downwards or rather his new upwards towards his stretched out leg his ankle being slowly crashed by his weight as bore sole load of his person. His right left felt useless and the awkward angle was helping his aging hips. He tried to reach towards his weapon, noticed thinner than when he first found it after years of dulling and sharpening. But his fingers only brushed at the hilt and any extending he attempted only worked the agony of his ankle being constricted within the now clearly noticible homemade rope.
He was about to make another attempt knowing he was a dead man without a tool to dispatch of the dead but he heard it, a voice not to far in the woods.
"Your kidding right? There's no way you can do that, he'll how do you even find out how to do that?" A boy, a young adult at best. It was the kind of voice he would hear making a poorly timed joke in one of his university lectures. He could see through the foliage their figures atleast two though it might be three if the way something seemed to hover by their legs seemed to indicate.
"Well I taken once from my group by this crazy person who thought I was his duaghter or something. He took me to the other side of the city and the man who had been looking after me chased him down, he had killed so many walkers on his way to me that they started ignoring him. He figured out what happened and covered me in guts so we could escape together." A young women's voice, clearly around the same age which was weird, for the past few years now the only survivers he had met were his age maybe a bit younger but they were adults when he'll froze over and the dead migrated up top.
The kids and the teenages just died off as the years went by, as if the world was saying the apocalypse wasn't meant for children, for Clem.
They were drawing closer, Lee didn't know how to even react in this situation. He knew he had to try and talk them into helping him down and sparing him but there was a real possibility this trap was made for people rather than walkers, it was too elaborate for something as simple as refilling the dead. But he wasn't in any sort of position of strength his weapon was just out of reach and he didn't have an form of leverage to do anything but dangle while ensuring his leg didn't awkwardly dangle at an odd angle.
"That guy must have been a badass, I've killed my fair share of walkers don't get me wrong but NEVER enough to be mistaken for one and the fact he did that just to save you means he must have cared about you a lot."
It was only then when the story caught up to him, the boys words previously more akin to a white noise similar to the sounds of nature while he contemplated his options but as his mind registering how familiar it was. But as she turned around a larger trunk of tree and he saw that blue and white cap his world was shattered and made anew.
"Yeah... he was the best. Honestly I never would have made it if it wasn't for... LEE!"
(This was all off the cuff but please tell me what you think cuase I might just give up and wrote one myself xD)

You guys know what an alpine coaster is? They are like a small roller coaster you find in the mountains. They are also called summer toboggans or mountain coasters and I think there’s some long German compound word they are called in parts of Europe. They are like a roller coaster, but with much smaller one or two person sleds you just sit on instead of multi-person cars you ride in, and instead of being built with like a scaffolding or a framework the tracks are just on the ground, using the elevation of the mountain. Basically it’s a coaster track on the side of a mountain where you ride a sled down.
They are pretty fun. Or at least I used to think so. They are more “personal” than roller coasters and although you get nowhere near the speed on them that you do on a good traditional roller coaster and they can’t do corkscrews or loops or anything like that the openness and simplicity of the ride gives an impression of a much greater speed. You’re just sitting there with nothing but a little plastic sled and the track between you and the ground as it goes zooming by. It’s like the difference between how fast a go-cart feels compared to how fast a sports car feels. You know the sports car goes faster but the open, simpleness of a go-cart feels a different kind of fast. There’s plenty of POV Youtube videos if you want to get the basic idea of what they are.
I used to love alpine coasters. Used to.
My family used to go to Gatlinburg and Pigeon Forge and up and down the Smokey Mountains for vacations when I was a kid and they are common in that area and I’d always rode them every chance I got.
But as with so many things after I grew up and went to college they just became part of my childhood that slipped away. They aren’t exactly common once you get away from the mountains.
Until one cool spring afternoon in 2004. I was in my final year at college and I was driving back to campus in Tennessee after a short visit to my folks in North Carolina. It was only like a 4 or 5 hour drive via the most efficient route and I had no need to be back at campus early so instead of taking the freeway all the way I got off and took part of my trip through the mountains. The scenery was nicer and I admit I liked pushing my Camaro just a little faster than I should through the twisty mountain roads.
Just after lunchtime happened upon one of those little by-the-highway tourist towns deep somewhere in the Smoky Mountains near the Carolina/Tennessee border. Nothing fancy, a gas station/truck stop, a diner, a couple of places selling tourist merch nestled deep in the mountains. I pulled into the gas station. My tank was getting low and I needed to stretch my legs, maybe grab something to eat. It was still early and I only had another couple of hours. I could kill an hour or so and still make it back to campus at a decent hour.
I pulled into the gas station and was filling my tank when I happened to glance across the road and… well I’ll be damned. There it was. “The Blue Ridge Alpine Coaster.” Nestled on the side of the mountain was a building, a mockup of a red barn, where a single railed track that led up into the mountains, where it soon got lost in the greenery. Wooden hand painted standees of cartoon character bears dressed in stereotypical “Hillbilly” getup stood around, some of them holding signs showing the ride hours and ticket costs and other info. I had to admit, as silly as it was, it made me smile.I finished pumping my gas and, well, nostalgia is a helluva thing. I decided then and there I could waste a little time riding an Alpine Coaster again after all these years before getting back on the road.
I parked my car in a corner of the truck stop's parking lot, put my phone in the center console, this being the days before smart phones when people didn’t keep their phones with them 24/7 and I didn’t want my old Nokia brick phone to fall out during the ride, locked my car and walked across the mountain highway to the Alpine Coaster building.
Getting closer, the place was less inviting. The half hearted attempt at a whimsical faux-Americana kitsch was far less effective when it brushed up against the actual decaying, run down wooden building. Hell calling it a building was generous. It was a wood frame holding up a long roof that covered the area where you got on the sleds. The wood boards creaked under my footsteps.
The only real enclosed structure was a shack that held, what I assumed, was a ticket booth. A door on the side had both a single occupancy bathroom with an out of order sign on it. An old Pepsi machine buzzed and glowed next to it.
Still the place looked alive. Ahead of me a bored looking attendant was helping a mother and her young son into one of the sleds while in a bored monotone repeating the safety brief. A few people were waiting in line at the ticket booth. Up in the mountains the playful shouts of people on the ride echoed down. Fond memories of my own childhood rides flooded my mind.10 minutes and 15 dollars later I was settling into the hard plastic seat of a bright red sled sat atop a simple aluminum rail.
I couldn’t help but grin as the sled slowly climbed the track up the mountains, making click-clack ratcheting sounds that hit my nostalgia centers hard. I felt good. The air was cool and crisp and smelled of pine.Higher and higher in the mountains we went. I don’t know if this is my mind trying to make sense of it after the fact but when I remember these moments, the last good moments, I sometimes think I remember a very slight, very subtle pit of fear in my stomach. I honestly don’t know if I felt it at the time or not or it’s just how my mind tries to make sense of it looking back at.
But either way mostly I was enjoying myself. I smiled. I was a kid again. I could hear riders in front of me let out that initial yell of terrified glee you get at the first drop of any good ride.
It peaked. I glanced around. I could see for miles, rolling hills and mountains. I the sled tipped over and zoomed down the mountain and I let out the same happy yell I heard from the other passengers.The ride zoomed down the mountain, catching speed. The mountain forest floor zoomed past, only a few feet under me. Trees zoomed past. I gave out a happy whoop as the ride banked hard around a curve and then looped back under itself.Another dip, another curve. I closed my eyes, enjoying the feel of the G-forces pulling me every which way.
There was no one exact single moment where things started to go “wrong.” The ride kept going. And going. At this point the first creeping thought entered my head.
The ride… was still going.
It just started to hit me… this ride was going on for a really long time. I had taken a dozen rides on various coasters of this type before that day and they topped out at about 5 minutes or so, and that was the long ones. Longer than a traditional roller coaster but not that long. This one had been going on for what felt like 10, maybe even 15 minutes.
I looked back over my shoulder and could only see trees, moving too fast to really get a bearing on where I was at in relation to anything.
I wasn't exactly really worried yet. Okay so I had found a particularly long alpine coaster. At the time I wasn’t 100% wasn't sure they didn’t exist or anything like that. I was a little… unnerved but nothing was happening that was impossible. Yet.
I was trying to talk myself back into just enjoying the ride and stop overthinking it, and halfway succeeded, when out of nowhere I suddenly banked hard, the track jutting out almost over a sheer cliffside. I gripped the sled more tightly as I was whipped around. The ride then dipped hard and picked up speed, barreling down the side of the mountain.
I was pushed back against the seat by the force of the drop. Jesus I didn’t remember them being this rough. I was feeling slightly nauseous. And where had this elevation drop come from I wondered? I was still in the foothills and I didn’t remember seeing anything but gentle rolling hills and light drops from looking at the ride’s route earlier. How the ride had managed such a long, steep drop in this area I didn’t know. . For the first time I hoped that the ride would be over soon. I had no idea then how much I would want that same hope to be true so much more as time went on.
With a whiplash motion I was whipped forward and then back as the ride leveled out on flat ground again, but by this point I was going fast, too fast. My neck hurt from the mild whiplash and I felt sour in my throat and for a moment the contents of my stomach threatened to come back up. For the first, but hardly the last time the ride felt unsafe. Alpine Coasters are tame affairs, much slower and gentler than full on roller coasters but this thing was throwing me around like no thrill ride I had ever been on.
I looked around. I mean I wasn’t that deep into the woods. I should have been able to see a glimpse of something; the highway, the gas station, the tourist shops, the Alpine Coaster office, something, anything. But nothing. Just trees.
I forced back some panic for the first time. I closed my eyes and counted to ten. The ride zoomed along. I counted to 60. I counted to 60 again. And again. Okay this was getting uncomfortably harder and harder to explain.
Suddenly I noticed that up ahead the track seemed to just end, for one brief, terrible moment I thought the track just ended but I was wrong. Almost without warning the track dipped in an almost vertical drop. I almost screamed as I plummeted for 20, maybe 30 seconds before flattening out again.
By this point the voice in my head that was telling me something was wrong was louder and I could no longer tell myself it was wrong. This ride could not have been this long. I tried to make sense of it, wondering if somehow I had gotten diverted onto some kind of maintenance track or, hell for one brief irrational moment even entertaining the idea that I had wound up on an actual train track somehow. But that was absurd. The rail below me was not a train track, it was still just the simple, aluminum rail of an alpine coaster and there had been no diversions or junctions in the track. I was still on the ride, as insane as that was starting to feel. Had the ride somehow looped? Again after having the thought I immediately dismissed it as crazy. There’s no way I could have missed the ride building where I got on. And what kind of ride loops over and over?
The sled zoomed through the forest, oddly never seeming to lose speed despite the relatively flat grade of the track. I cursed myself for leaving my phone in the car and not wearing a watch. I don’t know exactly how long I had been on the ride at that point but it felt like I had been on the ride for a half hour, maybe more. But time is a funny thing when you’re in a situation you’ve never been in. Could have been more, could have been less, at that point.
My pride finally failed me. I started to scream for help. I screamed out that the ride was broken, to stop it, that I needed help. I did that for about ten minutes or so I think. The ride kept going. Mostly flat, level track with occasional mild dips and turns. But the simple length of the ride grew more and more unnerving and unexplainable.
I thought about just bailing out. But the ride, impossibly, was still not slowing down and chunks of mountain rock and thick tree trunks were all around me. Bailing out without risking smashing into a rock or a tree seemed impossible.
The ride kept going.
Up ahead the forest was clearing out some, I could see the forest brightening, more sunlight making it through the canopy.
I wasn’t prepared for what I saw.
The trees stopped and I had just enough time to take in a flat, open area of rock maybe 40, 50 yards at most before another sheer cliff. The tracks twisted and turned and then shot straight down. But that wasn’t the worst of it. For a moment, a very short moment, I had a clear view for miles and the landscape was, to be blunt, totally impossible. Any possibility that I had just stumbled on some incredibly long ride was blasted out of my head. Barren, volcanic looking rock stretched for miles. Jagged, black rocky outcroppings as far as the eye could see. I was in the goddamn Smoky Mountains. They don’t look like that.
I had a few moments for the terror of that view to settle in before the cart plunged into another horrifying drop. I gripped the handles of the cheap plastic sled until my knuckles turned white. The drop felt completely vertical, like I was falling at terminal velocity. I screamed. My stomach dropped and turned. I imagined the sled coming away from the track and me just plummeting screaming to my death on the rocks below. But somehow the ride still functioned. I closed my eyes tightly and just waited for whatever was going to happen. Eventually after several what felt like a full minute of steep plunging the track again leveled out, and I opened my eyes to see myself moving at breakneck speed over that black, rocky landscape.
Now that I was moving on a more or less flat horizontal track again I took a few deep breaths. I looked over the edge of the track. Nothing but that black, jagged rock, almost looking like obsidian, zooming past. I had no idea how fast the sled was moving now. Fast. Faster than a gravity powered sled should be moving. And the track was higher off the ground now. Alpine slides usually stick pretty close to the ground, but I was 20 feet or so in the air, the track suspended in the air, a simple metal tube tower like a power pylon every few yards.
Without any immediate threat and the sled moving fast but steadily and level I was able to think about my situation again, for all the good that did me. Ahead of me the track just continued to the horizon, nothing but the same rocky landscape as far as I could see. I craned my neck to look back over my shoulder and looked back behind me and it looked the same. Even the mountains were but distant specs on the horizon behind me.
This was insane. There’s not a giant seemingly endless field of black jagged rock in the goddamn Smoky Mountains. There’s no cliff faces tall and steep enough for a multi-minute vertical drop. And alpine coasters were small affairs, not major engineering projects that span miles with pylons and vertical tracks. It made no sense.
Sadly it wasn’t going to start making any more sense anytime soon.
The ride kept going.
I was on this rocky landscape for several hours. I feel comfortable saying this because I could actually notice the sun getting lower in the sky. And the sled wasn’t slowing down despite the grade of the track being flat. I was getting cramped from sitting and stretched my legs and twisted my back as best I could. Didn’t do much help. My eyes were starting to get irritated from the constant wind in them. Worst of all it was starting to get chilly. I only had on a light jacket, a windbreaker, just something to keep the breeze off me, no real insulation. I was cold, my joints were stiff, I was hungry and thirsty. My eyes watered and my throat was so dry it was sore.
But none of that was as bad as just how little sense this all made. There’s nothing like this place anywhere near the Smoky Mountains. This was like some volcanic rock landscape. The more I thought about it the less sense it made.
The ride kept going.
My mind didn’t even try to process this. Whatever I was experiencing simply couldn’t be possible. I was crazy. I was dreaming. The CIA had kidnapped me and dosed me with some new version of LSD and I was in a straightjacket in a padded room at Area 51.
The sled kept zooming along as the sky turned to dusk. Soon the bridge disappeared from my view and I continued on along the endless, rocky, featureless landscape.
I sat back against the sled, mentally and physically numb. I was exhausted. I was thirsty. I was cramping up. I was hungry. I had to pee. I held it for as long as I could, then had no choice but just wet myself. I cried until I had no more tears left. Then I just sat there.
The ride kept going.
By the time the sun dipped below the horizon my throat felt like sandpaper. I dug around in my jacket pockets hoping to find a stick of gum or piece of candy. Nothing. I checked again, having nothing else to do. Under a crumpled store receipt in the inner pocket of my jacket was a single old, forgotten cough drop. I unwrapped it from the paper and popped it in my mouth. Saliva flooded back into my mouth and I was overwhelmed by the methanol and medicine taste. It was something at least, although I knew it would be a brief and temporary fix at best.
I felt my eyes get heavy. It was getting colder. That mountain cold. That deep cold the mountains have even into the early spring when the sun goes down. That kind that just pulls the heat right out of you. I shivered. A terrible, horrible certainty came to me. I would ride until I passed out from exhaustion or the hypothermia set in. My body would tumble off the sled to fall and skip across the rocky ground like a stone skipping across a lake, my bones breaking as I tumbled until my body finally came to a stop. If I was lucky I would be killed and not have to lie for days, broken and bruised, on the ground until death took me.
The ride kept going. The ride kept going. The fucking ride kept going.
“Fuck you” I said to the ride, my voice a horse whisper. I pulled my jacket closer around me, for all the good it did. The cold wind was slowly but surely pulling my body heat away. My shivering got worse, crossing the line from a simple normal shiver into those deep, almost violent full body ones.. I wasn’t anything you could call an experienced outdoorsman, but I knew enough to know that wasn’t a good sign.
It was getting dark. There was a full moon at least so I wasn’t totally in the dark.
About then I noticed something. The landscape, what little I could see in the fading light, was changing. It was smoothing out, becoming less rocky and craggy. Up ahead an odd, shimmering light was starting to appear on the ground.
I was over it before I even realized what it was. The tracks were going over a smooth surface.
Water. It was a lake. The odd lights I had seen were the moon, reflected in ripples on the lake.
Within minutes I was out of the view of the land. After the nearly endless rocky landscape and everything else I had seen, it scared me how little I was shocked. I didn’t like how mentally numb I was getting. I leaned over. There was enough moonlight to see the water, 15 or 20 feet below the track. The pylons holding up the track went into the water, the light wasn’t good enough to even make a guess at how far they went down or how deep the water was.I leaned back in the sled. My eyes were red and bloodshot from the constant wind. I closed them. This was a mistake.I jerked awake. I don’t know if I dozed off for a split second or an hour. My weight had shifted and I caught myself as my center of gravity was in danger of sending me off the sled and into the water.
I screamed in anger. A deep primal scream. I hurt so bad. My joints felt like they were full of glass. My limbs were full of pins and needles. I glanced over at the water. For the first time on the very edges of my brain a tiny voice started to speak up, telling me that I could be all over if I just jumped. I shut the voice up, but it scared me still.
I sat there as the ride went on. It felt like hours. Eventually the lake ended in a rocky shore line. The damned ride. There was no safe place to bail out. If the ride slowed down, it was high in the air, if it moved toward the ground it sped up. Sharp rocks, big trees, nothing you could safely bail out into.
I kept having to force myself awake. I kept dozing off. Once I felt myself falling asleep and drove a vicious uppercut into my own nose to stave it off.
I seriously started to think about how much longer I could hang on. The voice came back again. This time I didn’t shut it up. I wasn’t admitting it to myself yet, but I was starting to think about the best way to land that would end it quickly if I needed to.
Something was ahead. The track seemed to dip into the ground. I was too tired, too beaten to even get scared. I was just resigned to whatever happened at this point.
With little warning the track took my sled into a tunnel in the ground. Everything went completely pitch black. After several moments even the dim moonlight was gone.
This was the worst part. The creepy forest, the immense rocky landscape, the eerie lake… those were bad. But this was just nothing. Nothing to look at, nothing to hear, nothing for reference or sense of where I was going. The walls of the tunnel felt like they were inches from me in every direction. The air felt thick, like there wasn’t enough oxygen.
With every moment I was in that tunnel I lost a little more hope. After a long, long time I made a decision. When I got out of this tunnel, I would jump. I didn’t care anymore. Hopefully there would be a spot where I could be certain the fall would instantly kill me. I was done. The ride had beaten me. I sat there, waiting for a chance to end this on my terms. That was all I had left.
Eventually up ahead, a tiny speck of light appeared. I gathered my strength, ready to end it. I sat up, getting my legs under me so I could jump as soon as we were clear. The sled burst out of the tunnel. The dim light of the full moon was enough to be momentarily blinding after the pitch black of the tunnel.. I gave my eyes a moment to adjust.
I was back in a normal looking Appalachian forest. Rolling hills, green trees. The air smelled of pine again. I heard an owl hoot off somewhere.
Slowly I lowered myself back into a setting position, in shock. At first I refused to believe it but the ride was slowing down. I held still, making sure my mind wasn’t playing tricks on me, but no, the cheap plastic sled that had been my world for what felt like an eternity was slowing down.
Up ahead, a structure was visible, peeking out from among the trees in the dim lighting as the sled moved down the track.
It was the Alpine Slide building. The crappy fake red barn where I had boarded this cursed ride so long ago. I blinked and rubbed my eyes, sure it was either my mind or the cursed ride playing tricks with me. But the building stayed there.
It grew closer and closer. The track leveled completely out. The sled slowed down more. Before I had the time to really come to terms with it I arrived back at the building.
The sled slowed to a stop, gently pumping against another sled parked on the track. I sat there for a few moments, gasping in great big gulping fear breaths, trying to assure myself the ride didn’t have one last trick of its sleeve.
I looked around. The place was empty, deserted. The overhead lights were still on and the old Pepsi machine still glowed and buzzed, but the ticket booth was dark and empty, a metal gate pulled down over the ticket window.
Suddenly it hit me that I was free and I practically leapt out of the sled and onto the platform. I immediately collapsed. My legs were jelly and my head was spinning. I tried to stand up again and doubled over, dry heaving. Have you ever been out on a boat for a day and have that weird reverse motion sickness when you’re back on solid land? It was like that times a hundred. My inner ear was literally pounding, all the motion had really done a number on it.
I laid there for a few moments and eventually forced myself to stand up on my two wobbling legs. I looked around, a horrible certainty creeping into my mind that there would be no exit, no way off the platform but to my relief an exit turnstyle, one of those full height ones, was set into the fence that surrounded the ride property.
I went through it and found myself back on the main road. The truckstop was still there, still open but far less busy. My car sat in the same corner of the parking lot I had left it.
I allowed myself one look back, just one quick one. The metal skeleton of the Alpine Slide track sat there, dark and quiet but otherwise normal.
I stumbled-ran back to my car, dug the keys out of my pocket, and collapsed inside. When the door shut I let out a primal scream, the tons of fear and confusion and anger all fusing into a single, raw emotion. I screamed again and again.
After a few moments I felt like I was emotionally at least back to a place where I could act, although I wasn’t sure yet what to do next. Not really knowing what to do I cranked the car. The A/C had been on low when I shut off the car and it came roaring back to life and cold air blowing on me almost sent me back into a full on panic attack. I fumbled with the climate controls until the air stopped blowing directly on me, then calmed down enough to turn the heat on, helping to get the chill out of my bones. There was a half full bottle of water in the center console cup holder and I grabbed it and chugged it. Nothing ever tasted as good before or sense as that few ounces of water.
That was when I noticed the clock on the radio head unit. It was 4:17 in the morning. It had been about one, one thirty or so in the afternoon when I got on the accursed ride.
Over 15 hours. I had been on the goddamn ride for over 15 hours. Over half a day.
I just sat there. Warming up. Calming down. I was exhausted. I was dehydrated. I can’t even describe how my head felt. I probably had at least a minor case of hypothermia. I thought about going into the gas station and asking for help but what would I even say, and more than anything I just wanted to get away from this place. And I just wanted to get away. I wanted to be nowhere near that damn ride.
I put the Camaro in gear and pulled into the street and in panic I immediately slammed on the brakes. I was lucky there was no traffic on the road at that moment. The feeling of accelerating to just normal surface street speeds made me sick to my stomach. I gathered myself and very slowly accelerated the car I usually treated with a very heavy foot up to 30 miles an hour. Every time I tried to accelerate at a pace faster than “Old Lady Going to Church, Uphill” I would have a panic attack. I was okay once I was up to speed, but accelerating freaked me out after being on that ride.
I drove about 30 minutes, putting some arbitrary amount of distance between myself and the coaster. Eventually I made it back to where the twisty mountain road met back up with a major road that would eventually meet back up with the highway. After a few more minutes of driving I saw the onramp for the highway. There was one of those big truckstop travel plazas and pulled in, parking right up at the door. I smelled like pee and I can only imagine how I looked, but I didn’t care.
I kept a couple of emergency 20s in the back of my wallet and spent it on the biggest bottle of water the store had, an overpriced bottle of eye drops, and a huge travel mug of coffee. The clerk looked at me as if he was expecting me to either drop dead or rob him the entire time.
Back in my car I downed the coffee. I put a few eye drops in each of my eyes and sat there as the caffeine took effect until I felt like I could make it back to my apartment. The sun was just coming up when I finally pulled out of the truck stop and got on the freeway. I slowly, very slowly, accelerated up to highway speed, put the Camaro in cruise control, and let the miles start to drift away. I turned on the radio, I needed to hear human voices. Every time my mind went back to what had just happened I turned the radio up louder, eventually drowning it out with painful levels of rock music. I wasn’t ready to think about it yet. Yes looking back I know I was just in denial. I finally made it back to the crappy little apartment I had off campus, a little two story walk up studio. I let myself in and collapsed on the cheap couch. I was asleep before I even had the time to decide whether or not to do anything else. I woke up later that afternoon. I took a shower and ate a meal and didn’t think about the ride. I washed the pee stained filthy clothes I had been wearing and didn’t think about the ride. I went back to class and didn’t think about the ride. Every time I thought about the ride I forced it out of my head. I’m sure this wasn’t the most mentally healthy thing to do but what can you say?
I didn’t forget about it, don’t be silly. This isn’t the kind of thing you forget. One day while looking up something else in the university’s library my curiosity got the better of me and I looked up the Alpine Slide. No website but a few Google Map and Yelp mentions. None of them mentioned anything weird, certainly nothing even remotely like what I experienced. Near as I can tell it closed sometimes in the winter of 2012.
Life went on. I mean, that’s what it does. The next day was a little better. And the day after that a little better. And the day after that a little better still. I met a nice girl. Graduated. Got married. Got a nice house in the suburbs. Got a dog. Had a daughter. Spent a lot of time happy and not thinking about being trapped on an endless alpine coaster.And that was my life for many, many years after that.
Until a few weeks back when as a very different person I found myself driving a boring and safe mid sized family SUV through those same mountains. My wife Carol, 5 months pregnant, sat in the passenger seat, our 6 year old daughter Emily in a booster seat in the back, and Max our mixed breed mutt next to her. It had been a nice pleasant trip, driving back from visiting her folks.
I hadn’t thought about that fucking ride in so long I barely registered that I was in the same general area until it was too late. Suddenly I realized that little mountain tourist trap town was only a few minutes down the road. I swallowed hard and gripped the steering wheel hard. Carol was looking out the window at the scenery and Emily was deep into some kid’s Youtube video on an iPad. I forced myself to keep my breath steady as we rounded the corner.The town was still there, sorta. Time had not been kind to it. The gas station was still there, at some point it had been bought out by Shell. The tourist trap shops were still there. One of them was now a vape shop. The diner was closed, the building looking like it sat unused for a long time.
But of course that’s not what I cared about. A looked over at the site where the Alpine Coaster once stood. It was gone. The kitschy fake barn was gone. The site was just a bare concrete slab with a chainlink fence around it. Faded “no trespassing” and “for sale” signs hung off the fence. A pile of old, decaying lumber that might have once long ago been part of the structure covered part of the old lot. No sign of the track remained outside of some old concrete support posts dotting the side of the mountain.
I exhaled out a breath I hadn’t even realized I had been holding in. Soon the little town disappeared in my rear view mirror.
About a half hour later we stopped for gas. I pulled up to a gas pump across from a massive motorhome. Max stuck his head out the window and started barking at a little white dog, a toy breed of some kind, in the window of the motorhome. Carol and Emily immediately headed into the store to restock on snacks while I fueled up.
I stood there, a half smile on my lips as Max barked and wagged his tail in an attempt to attract the attention of the other dog while I filled up the tank, said dog doing an admirable job of ignoring him.
Right about the time I finished fueling up and cleaning the bugs off the windshield Carol returned from inside the store, Emily in tow, arms filled with two full sized bags of Salt and Vinegar Potato Chips and what looked to be a half dozen individually wrapped pickles.
I raised an eyebrow at the collection of food but knew better than to question a pregnant woman's snack choices.
“Should we take Max for a quick walk?” Carol asked. The travel plaza had a nice little gated dog walking area off to the side.
“Yeah probably not a bad idea, he’s been cooped up in the car for a few hours.” I said. Max, upon hearing his name and the word “walk” , forgot about the other dog and upgraded from wagging his tail to wagging his entire body while making whining sounds and staring right at me.
About this time I became half aware that the big motor home next to us was pulling away. I didn’t think much of it, outside of doing a quick automatic mental check to make sure Emily was well clear of the moving vehicle, but she was safely between me and our SUV, well out of the way.
But that was when Emily looked behind me and cheerfully yelled “Daddy look a roller coaster! Can I ride the coaster?”
It’s cliche as fuck I know but my blood went cold.
I turned around slowly, certain in my knowledge that terrible old decrepit Alpine Coaster would be there, having just popped into existence to trap me again.
That.. is not what I saw. Sure enough there was a coaster there, one I hadn’t noticed earlier because it had mostly been blocked by the motor home, but there it was. It was even an Alpine Coaster.
But it was not the same coaster I had encountered those years ago. That was immediately obvious. It was a small but modern and newish looking setup with neon lights and a bunch of people. There was an actual building where you bought tickets and a little snack stand.
“Daddy! Can we go on the coaster!” Emily asked again.
My mouth made motions but no words came out. I glanced over at Carol, hoping she’d say we didn’t have time but to my horror she smiled and said “You know what? That does sound like fun. Daddy will take you while I take Max for a walk.”
My mind raced, trying to think of a way to get out of it. But Emily was already dragging me across the parking lot to the entrance.
I patted my pocket, making sure my phone was in it. Every fiber of my being was screaming to run away. I slept walked through the line and the ticket booth while Emily bounced happily.
We got into a two seat plastic sled. This one was actually a lot nicer than the one my mind wouldn’t stop thinking about. It had two nice cushioned seats, big grab handles, even a nice rollbar.
The sled started up the track. I fought back the panic. I swerved my head around, keeping the building in my view. I was terrified of losing sight of it. We made it to the top and Emily did a happy squeal as we started down the side of the mountain.
My heart raced. Any second, any second my mind told me we’d lose sight of the building and then the ride would never end. The ride sped down the mountain. My mind tortured me with thoughts of not only going through it again, but seeing Emily go through it. The ride went around a big, banking turn. Emily kept shouting happily. How long before Carol reported us missing I wondered? Could I keep Emily calm? What if it lasted even longer this time? What if this time it never ended?
And then we were back at the start of the ride. The same attendant who had helped us into the sled was helping Emily out. I stepped out. The attendant gave me a brief look but said nothing. I guess I looked a little wild eyed.
I was fine. Emily was fine. It had been a perfectly normal, fun ride.
“That was fun Daddy! Thank you!” Emily said. I forced a smile back. “It was fun.” I responded, hoping like I sounded like I meant it.
I took Emily’s hand and we walked back to the car. Max saw us coming and barked happily. Carol looked up from the pint of Ben and Jerry’s she had somehow acquired and added to her snack collection while we were gone and smiled at us.
“Did you have fun?” she asked.
“It was so fun Mommy!” Emily said.
Carol smiled down at her, but then looked at me and frowned. “Are you okay?” Carol could read my face a lot better than the attendant could. “You’re pale.”
I smiled and this time the smile felt real. “Ya know what. Yeah, I think I am okay.”
Carol looked a little puzzled, but didn’t press it. We loaded Emily back in her booster seat, stopped Max from trying desperately to eat half a discarded gas station hot dog off the ground and got him back in the car. Carol and her small collection of snack food took her place in the passenger seat and I got in the driver's seat.I smiled. I cranked the car. I put it in gear. I pulled out of the gas station and back on the road, this time accelerating just a little faster than I had in years.

Mischief walks up to the blue crystal clock. She spins the the big hand with her magic and the little hand lands of three. A blue flame is lit. Mischief walks away into the darkness; the light from the blue clock making her look like a silhouette.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KuZbmLLv1vM

A bead of sweat falls down Mischief head. Her hair on the ground and her back up august the wall. Mischief had been doing a headstand for the last thirty minutes. In her mind, doing this action once a week was a good way to keep her blood flowing and strength high. Sun walked outside and saw Mischief up august the wall. 

“Are you gonna stand there all day”, Sun asks, holding a peach in his hand.
“You should try it”, Mischief said under the pressure. She uses her feet to push off the rock and picks herself up. “It helps with strength endurance and it help you think.”
“Hard pass”, Sun says, biting the peach. “You know I’m not good with my arms.” Mischief smirks and says, “That’s not what I heard from Ne Zha~” Sun stopped walking and almost chocked on the chunk of peach in his mouth. He looked over at Mischief and said in embarrassment, “Could you not bring Him up?”
“Why? What’s the problem”, Mischief teased. “Oh right, you still like him.” Mischief laughs and then says, “After a millennia and you still haven't told him?” Mischief continues to laugh while Sun burns a bright red and shouts, “Can you shut up?!” Sun starts to hit Mischief head and she still laughs.
“Okay, Okay, I’ll stop”, Mischief says. Sun stops laughing and crosses his arms in annoyance. “Go train Mk. I’ll see you in a bit.” Sun walks out to the training dojo. Mischief smiles but then holds her head in pain with both of her hands. She keeps her eyes shut and feels herself being surrounded by darkness. Even when her eyes where shut, she could see a being covered in a moon themed cloak.
“No…! Why are you here?!” The being looks back; her eyes glowing a light blue. She turns and starts to walk over to Mischief. Mischief raises her hand and cast a spell, but the being covered in the moon cloak faces Mischief.
I am you, as you are me.
We are two become one.
Mischief opens her eyes once the pain subsides and sees that the world around her is normal. She looks around to see if anybody else is there. No one. Mischief looks at her hands and sees then shaking with fear.
“No…. not this night…! Please, not this night….!” Mischief walked back into the house and looked around for a quill and scroll.

Mischief walks back outside to see Mk and Sun training. She sits under a shady area near the entrance to the waterfall. Mk jumps back and lands on the mountains wall. She pushes himself off and charges at Sun from above. Sun smirks and jumps directly up while Mk crashed to the ground. 

“Missed me again”, Sun said. He picks up Mk with his tail and asks, “Now how did I win?”
“Misdirection”, Mk guesses.
“Correct”, Sun says.
“That seams like a shady lesson”, Mischief yells.
“Too soon sis.” Mk chuckles a bit.
“I’m just saying the truth”, Mischief says. She walks over and whispers, “And I bet Ne Zha would say the same thing if he was here.” Sun gets an annoyed look on his face and says, “Whatever. And plus, I was always better at fighting than you.”
“Oh really?”
“Wait a second”, Mk interrupted, “You two have fought before?”
“Yeah. But it was for training purposes”, Sun says.
“Now that you mention it, we haven't trained in a while”, Mischief says. “What do you say, but brother?” Sun smirks and says, “Your on.”

Mischief and Sun get into their fighting positions on each side of the training ground. Mk sits on the stairs in anticipation. 

“Not using your weapon sis?”
“I don’t need it”, Mischief said with a smirk on her face. Sun chuckles under his breath and says, “Your done if I land this.” Sun charges to Mischief at full speed. Mischief closes her eyes and smirks. She moves out of the way and pushes her brother to the wall. Sun blinks a few times in confusion and looks back to sees Mischief untouched.
“I’m waiting.” Sun runs over to Mischief and tried to hit her multiple times but each time, Mischief blocks his attacks over and over. “Wow, brother. Your getting rusty.”
“I’ll show you rusty”, Sun exclaims. He jumps back and starts to attack with his legs.
“Not really effective!” Mischief takes Sun’s leg and pins him down with her foot. “Moon: 1. Sun: 0. I win again.”
“Mischief, let me up”, Sun says. Mischief moved her foot off of Sun’s back and says, “I thought you fought celestial beings bigger than me. You sure your not getting rusty?”
“He’s not”, Mk says. “He beat Demon Bull King, Spider Queen, and More! He’s strong enough to fight the Jade Emperor!” Mischief could hear her thoughts snap in half. She chuckles to herself in annoyance and says under her breath, “Yeah…. Sure…” Mischief then holds her head in pain.
“Mischief, are you okay”, Sun asks. He holds her shoulders.
“I’m fine”, Mischief says. “It’s just a headache. And I don’t think I’ll be able to train Mk tonight.”
“It’s okay”, Mk says. “Plus, I promised Mei I would help her fix her bike”
“Thank you, Mk.”

The full moon shines from above the mountain; its rays passing the peek of the mountain. A being covered in a night themed cloak looks down on the city below. She turns back and jumps backward. She closes her eyes and summoned a portal under her. The portal was covered in shadows and it’s magic was a dark blue. The being fell thought the portal and landed on a roof with grace and elegance. She looks back and sees the lights on in each building from each block ahead. 

“Now… where are you?”

Mk walks down the street of the city. He was walking home from Mei’s bike shop and he was hoping to get some well needed rest. 

“This is the last time I stay out this late”, Mk thinks to himself. He looks up and sees a being silhouetted bu the light of the moon. “Who is that?” Mk squints his eyes and sees the being crying up at the moon. “Are they crying?” Before Mk could call to the person, they jumped to the next roof and vanish into the night. Mk runs to the end of the block but doesn’t see the being.
“That person….. Why where they crying?”

“I’m sorry, say that again?” 

“I saw a person last night”, Mk explains. “It looked like they where crying.” Mischief stopped in her tracks and hides behind the house. She looks to her right and back down to the floor.
“H-How, the, Hell, did he see me”, Mischief thought with worry, panicking in her mind. Her racing thoughts coming to a halt. Mischief touched her broach and thought, “He was with Mei that night. He must have been walking home when he saw me.” Mischief lied the back of her head on the house wall and says, “Damn you, Moon Maiden…!” Mischief sighs and thinks, “There’s no way I can control her at this rate.” Mischief walks back to the front and sees Mk and Sun walking to the top of the mountain.
“Where are you two going?”
“We’re going to train at the top of the mountain”, Sun says. “Wanna come?”
“Sorry, not this time”, Mischief says. “I still have a bit of a headache.”
“Oh… does that mean no training tonight either”, Mk asks.
“I’m sorry, Mk”, Mischief says.
“It’s alright. Take care of yourself. We can train when you feel better.” Mischief smiles. She then remembered how her mentor from years past was so understanding. She saw a lot of them in Mk. “Well see you later.” Mk and Sun walked up the path to the top of the mountain. Mischief looks off to the side is sadness. She hated lying to Mk and her brother, but she had to protect them at all cost. She could risk to lose them like she lost…… her….
Mischief sits on a rock near the edge of the cliff and looks up at the sky. It had almost been a month since she had been away from the celestial realm: her home. She wondered if the cheetah twins had been playing in the celestial forest around this time. She touches her broach and says, “I miss you, mother…..” Pink magic flew around Mischief and a scroll appeared. Mischief catches the scroll and looks at the wax seal. “This is Ne Zha’s crest.” Mischief opens the scroll and a necklace rolls into her lap. She looks at the necklace and then read the scroll as follows:
Mischief,

**It’s good to hear from you again. I heard from your mother that you moved to earth. I hope Sun hasn’t been giving you too much of a headache. I did some research on what you told me about and it lead me to this necklace. And I also found out that the reason your alter ego is coming out on her own is because she hasn’t been bound. One of your ancestors had the same problem and they had a solution. The necklace I set you is called the moon of Apithaea. It has the power to control your alter ego’s rage. It might help you. I hope you get a hendel on your powers.** 

Could you tell sun I said hi?
-Ne Zha
Mischief chuckles and says, “Looks like Ne Zha hasn’t changed one bit. Still the same helpful prince I know.” She smirks. “And his interest in Sun hasn’t left at all.” Mischief looks at the necklace and then placed it around her neck. “Thank you, Lotus.”

Mk and Sun fight along the mountain Plato. However, Mk couldn’t couldn’t really concentrate. He was worried about Mischief, and he was thinking about the person he saw the other night. Mk was so distracted that he didn’t realize that he had left an opening for Sun to hit him. Sun stops his attack midway. 

“You got distracted.” Mk lowers his staff and shudders, “S-Sorry.”
“Are you okay? You seam distracted”, Sun points out.
“I’m worried about Mischief”, Mk says. Sun looked at Mk and the to the side of him, thinking of how to help Mk. she smiles and says, “Kid, follow me. I wanna show you something.”
“What is it?” Sun taps on the ground and a hatch opens. “Now way! How long had this been here?”
“A long time”, Sun says. He jumps and and says, “Come on!” Mk jumps down the hole and lands in a cavern like cave.
“Whoa…. Had this always been down here”, Mk asks.
“Yup”, Sun says. Mk looks ahead and sees a crystal floating above a pedestal; it’s light casting along the floor. Mk walks up to the crystal and asks, “What is this?”
“This is the crystal of the sun”, Sun explains. “This crystal has protected this mountain for a very long time. It was made over three millennia ago.”
“It’s amazing.” Mk takes a closer look at and then gets a vision.
Mischief looks back at someone; her face angry and upset.
She says something but her words are distorted and scrambled.
“She was your mentor!”
Mk blinks a few times and moves his hand away from the crystal. Sun notice Mk’s discomfort and asks, “Are you okay?”
“Huh? Oh, I’m fine”, Mk reassures Sun.
“If you say so.” Sun says.
“Hey, Monkie King? Can I ask you something?”

Mk and Sun walk along the roof of a building. 

“Are you sure the person you saw the other night is gonna be here”, sun asked.
“I’m sure of it”, Mk says. The two look around. Mk looks to the north and sees the same person from the other night. “Hey!” Sun looks over to see Mk running over to the hooded person.
“Mk, wait!”
“Um. Excuse me?” The hooded figure looks back; her eyes covered in shadows. “I noticed you the other night and I wanted to meet you.” The hooded figure looks at Mk for a second.
“MK…..?”
“You know who I am?” Sun takes a closer look at the hooded woman and gains a surprised look on his face.
“Mischief?” The being blinks a few times and then says, “I’m sorry. I don’t know anyone by that name.” She tries to walk away, but Sun holds her by the solder which makes Mischief’s necklace break off. The necklace falls to the ground and Mischief’s head hands low.
“Mischief? Are you okay”, Sun asks. Mischief looks back with her glowing eyes piercing Sun’s soul from within. Sun could feel a chill go up his spine. “Um, Mischief?” Mischief rushes back and attacks Sun. “Sis! Stop! What are you doing?!”
“Anyone who get’s in my way will be destroyed”, She yells. Sun whips around and holds his sister down with all the strength he has within him.
“Mk, get the necklace”, he shouts. Mk looks over and sees the necklace. He runs over and picks it up. Mischief looks over in panic and rage.
“No!” She breaks free from her brothers hold and rushes over to Mk and holds him by his collar. Sun tries to rush over to Mischief, but she puts of a barrier. She looks up at Mk and says, “I will not be locked up like a prisoner!”
“What? I don’t get it. Who are you”, Mk asks, struggling to break free. Mischief chuckles to herself, looks up at Mk and says, “So she didn’t tell you? Your her apprentice. Surely you can tell the difference.”
“What?”
“You don’t know? I am–!” Before she could finish her sentence, A ghostly rendition of Mischief, the real Mischief, Holds back her own body. Mk falls to the ground and looks up to see the scene taking place before him.
“Mischief?”
“Mk, I’m sorry”, Mischief exclaims. “I got you and my brother rapped up in this!” Sun runs over and helps up Mk.
“Mischief, who is this”, Mk asks.
“Moon Maiden”, Mischief answers, struggling to hold her back. “She’s my alter ego. I can’t control her without the necklace! Get it!” Sun and Mk run over to the necklace. “You have gone out of control for the last time! You going back where you belong!” Moon maiden holds Mischief by her neck and says, You really think you can control me?! I am half of you that lingers in your shadow! The dark side of light! You can’t escape me, Mischief Wukong!” Mischief puts her hand on Moon Maiden’s arm and says, “No…”
“What?”
“Your right. You are part of me. But you are nothing but an alter ego! I have been through hell and back! I have lost my way over and over, but I never gave up! I have kept you back for over two damn millennia, and I’m not stopping now”, Mischief shouts, felling herself gaining power. Mischief breaks free and holds Moon Maiden with her magic. “NOW!” Mk and Sun put the necklace on Moon Maiden. Mischief lies up and forces herself back into her body. Mischief looks in the darkness and faces her alter ego. “I know you are part of me, and it’s time to make peace with the past”, Mischief says. She puts out her hand to her alter ego. “And I want you to face it with me. If you allow me to.” Moon Maiden looks down and says, “Then I guess we really are one in the same.” She takes Mischief hand.
“We are two become one. The shadow of the sun.”

Mischief gains breath and she holds herself up. 

“M, are you okay”, Sun asks.
“I’m alright”, Mischief says.

“Alter ego, Huh? That’s a new one”, Sun says. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about her before”, Mischief says. “I though I could control her on my own, but I can’t even do that right.”
“Mischief, you can talk to us”, Mk says. “We’re here for you.” Mischief looks at both Mk and Sun and says, “You know, I think me coming down here was a blessing in disguise. I’m glad you two are here with me.” The trio smiles.

Imagine being told the house would take 10-13 months to build. And then imagine being assigned a crappy construction manager named Kevin Thornton and waiting 18+ months for the completion of your home, who seemed to only been hired because his brother Chris Thornton was already a construction manager for the company.
Being told 4 false closing dates. Having to lose a good interest rate because they don’t know how to build a house within a reasonable time. I’ve seen whole apartment complexes built in the time we’ve been waiting.
Having to reach out to said construction manager and the sale consultant Zac Davidson every single month to get an update when you were told you would get an update roughly every two weeks. Being lied to every single month. Trish is also a dishonest unprofessional woman who constantly dodges phone calls and lies about everything.
Finding a crappy job being done in the primary bathroom shower and them having to rip it out and start over again, because part of the shower wall was bowing out into a triangle shape and the small square tiles were not flat and straight with tons of extra grout around them. Having a crappy grading job where 1/3 of the back yard is unusable. And nothing can be done about it, Holiday Builders just loves cheap labor.
Going through a full roll of blue painters tape to point out all the flaws in the construction, where the manager will run out of tape, but luckily we brought some to continue using half the roll. And they still didn’t fix everything the first go around, where we had to call them back multiple times to fix the issues described at the first walkthrough, after closing. You’ll find paint on every single door handle in the house. And paint splatter all over your floors. Different caulking colors used on the countertops right next to each other. You’ll ask them to paint the water access water into the home because it looked like crap the first time and then they’ll make it worse and also paint the grass and gutter runoff as well because they simple don’t give a hoot about anything.
They even had to rip up two parts of the yard to have water and septic lines in place inspected because they forgot and now we’re stuck with even more shitty grading and yard work because of that.
They’ll schedule exterior stuff after laying sod down that end up leaving the yard dug up and not manicured and looking like trash. And then you’ll wait weeks for them to come fix it.
They give you a smart door lock that’s supposed to come with the Rekeying tool, but they won’t give it to you for unspecified reasons, even though you paid for it. You’ll ask if the front door lock is a smart/Wi-Fi compatible one. They’ll say no, but after reading the manual you’ll find out it is. They don’t even know how the products they’re installing works!
Being told a shower door for the primary bathroom isn’t even included after finding out 1 week before closing, seems like their architects failed physics, because water still gets out the shower with a door there if it’s it recessed. Finding out that something as inexpensive as cabinet handles are not included and finding out after the first walkthrough that they’re an “expensive upgrade”, when it was never mentioned during the upgrades selection. Why would I upgrade to 42” upper cabinets and soft close but not op for handles, does that make sense to you. Paying nearly 400k for a house and they can’t even do these simple thing’s correctly or offer these simple things as standard. What if someone had a disability and opening cabinets without handles is extremely difficult for them. Holiday Builders doesn’t give a single hoot about you if that’s the case.
When blinds and a refrigerator and a washer and dryer and a garage door openers are already not included. I would expect the said things above be STANDARD! And a sales consultant that only cares about his paycheck and his ego, than the customer named Zac Davidson, who won’t let you know certain basic things are an upgrade. Zac Davidson is a man that gets his feelings hurt when he gets caught in a lie and starts to be disrespectful when he doesn’t agree with something you’re trying to explain to him.
Holiday builders doesn’t care about the customer. They only care about their wallets. They’ll rush to get the CO before having everything installed. In hopes of you signing before notice they put a hole in your drywall while installing your shelves. Or better yet the construction manager won’t even walkthrough the house prior to have any touch ups or fixes done before the first walk through. We found out our water heater wasn’t even hooked up correctly after closing. Holiday Builders are real comedians.
The trades that they hire can’t even get simple things done like paint and caulking and not painting the floor and door handles, we basically covered the whole house in blue tape and only 50% of it was taken care it. 50% of the trims around the door frames were missing paint and the other 50% looked like a blind man painted the door frames, thick goops of paint and splatter everywhere. They’ll even make sure the caulking where the base boards meet the dry wall has spider web cracking in every single ROOM. Every single one of these trades and construction managers need glasses because I do not honestly understand how you can be proud of your work and let customers find this type of garbage work.
We were so fed up with this process we ended up just fixing all of the issues ourselves. Don’t build with them unless you’re okay with paying for upgrades on basic things that should be standard and you’ll have to ask the construction managers like they’re a 4th grader if they completed their homework. And having to do all the basic touch ups yourselves. It’s extremely frustrating and sad that I can’t be excited about being my first home because of this shitty fucking experience. Also any response to this review will be taken as passive aggressive, if you state that this was taken care of because it wasn’t, everything still looks like shit.
The plumbers and septic company they use suck too. We’re still dealing with sewage smells in our home that they can’t figure out. Constant back ups due to poor plumbing ventilation and workmanship. The plumbers came to investigate and didn’t even have any of the right tools or equipment to do anything and had to borrow my equipment. If you’re wondering which clowns they use. Naber Plumbing and Brain David Septic.
They even under size the AC unit tonnage for the home. Your AC will run for 18 hours a day. I found that they didn’t even seal the area for where the cold air comes out the air handler. It was just blowing all the cold air into the AC room and into the attic. Mechanical One don’t know what they’re doing and Holiday Builder takes shortcuts everywhere they can with undersizing your AC unit and going with the cheapest labor.
Every single builder in the area builds homes faster than these clowns.
Holiday Builders suck. Ever heard the saying lazy people work twice. Everything about their workmanship is trash. The construction managers do not inspect work done by the trades after it is completed. Their scheduling sucks too. They lie about everything, every step of the way. Don’t build with them. We’re still finding issues every single damn day with this house. Don’t make the mistake of building with Holiday Builders. Build with Maronda or anyone else other than this clowns. Zac Davison sucks. Trish sucks. Chris Thornton sucks and his brother Kevin Thornton sucks even more, Steve Pettko sucks. Chris Cubillos Suck.

We have 4 ducks- 1 Khaki Campbell, 1 Black Swedish and 2 Blue Swedish- all females. They live in a large pen in our backyard. We sometimes let them out to “forage” the backyard but our entire backyard is fenced. The problem started about a week ago when my husband took the cover off our above ground pool. Our ducks have no access to the pool bc they can’t fly high enough to get in it, and most of the time that they are out they just dig through the mulch looking for bugs. Anyway, the night we opened it a male and female mallard swam in it a bit and then spent the night on the pool edge. They were there in the morning and only flew off after I let the dogs out to go to the bathroom (our ducks are always locked up when our dogs are out). My daughter was riding her bike later that day and spotted the pair on the roof of the house until the coast was clear and then they went back to the yard. Just this morning I went out back to my garden and did a double take bc I thought our ducks had somehow gotten out- nope, it was the wild ducks just hanging out in the yard a few feet from our pen. They don’t seem to be deterred by people or dogs- they just fly to the roof for a while and come back. Do these ducks pose any danger to my duck girls? Will the male try to mate with them if he is already with a female regularly? Does this pair have a nest in my yard and this is why they won’t leave? Honestly, they are pretty and I don’t mind them, but we have 3 Boston terriers and our yard is no place for ducklings who cannot yet fly! Thank you!

All right here it is finally, thank you all for your patience and let's hope chapter 5 is a little more expedient. As usual I hope you enjoy and would love to get everyone's thoughts.
4: Memory transcription subject: Zeak, Harchen orphan, citizen of the Venlil Republic. Date: standardized human time July 13th 2136.
The sky was a roaring mass of fire and pungent black smoke that choked out the light of the sun. As I ran down the street, green blood flowed like a broad shallow river. It splashed up with every step I took, sticking to my scales, the smell of it made me feel sick. As the piercing wail of the emergency sirens seemed to grow louder and louder with every step I took making my ears ring and filling my head with a thunderous pain. My heart pounded, my lungs were on fire, and my legs felt like they were made of lead.
A herd of towering blurry figures appeared out of nowhere and ran past me, some almost knocking me down. In their panic they began to look more like crazed wild animals than people. I cried for help but they couldn't hear me. I waved my paws then grabbed one of them a male Venlil, tightening my grip with all the strength I had hoping this would get his attention. He threw me off like I was trash, less than trash. I turned around and continued pleading for anyone to help me, reaching out for others. But their frantic idiot eyes looked only straight ahead and not down, never down, as the herd passed me.
I turned back around and continued to run, blood splashing up soaking me all the way to my knees. I stumbled, my legs were so tired I could barely stand, and I fell down catching myself, plunging my paws into blood as deep as my wrists. I felt myself scream but I couldn't hear it over the ringing in my ears. A scrap of paper gently floated past me, a single word written on it that echoed in my mind “Weakling.” It passed and four more took its place, “Coward”, “Liar”, “Oath breaker”, “Murderer.” I screamed in rage and slapped the pieces of paper aside, blood splashing onto my snout, but the meanings of those words remained. Getting back up I stumbled forward, and fell down again. Then with an effort born out of sheer desperation I managed to stand again lurching forward. My legs were too tired to run but I had to keep going, I had to save them. Or at least her, please Protector if you're listening please let me save at least her.
It felt like I was searching for an endless time. Lurching forward, stumbling, falling down, getting back up, lurching forward once more. Eventually I saw it and my heart fell into the pit of my stomach. My family's car was turned over on its roof, the driver's side had been caved in. It was engulfed in fire and thick black smoke that rose up into the sky. I struggled forward and when I reached it I collapsed, my knees hitting the hot pavement. The smell of burning metal and something else I didn't know assaulted my senses making my stomach turn. Every muscle in my body begged me to run away. Calling out their names l looked inside, and a wave of nausea and horror flooded through me.
I turned away and vomited, then reached up with my blood soaked paws and covered my eyes. Those words thundered in my head making me think it was going to burst open, as hot tears welled up. “WEAKLING! COWARD! LIAR! OATH BREAKER! MURDERER! MURDERER! MURDERER! MURDERER! “I'm sorry I'm sorry, I should have stayed, I should have helped. Why did I run?” I wailed, still unable to hear myself. Someone rested a delicate paw on my shoulder, and the world went quiet. As the pain in my head melted away.
My eyes snapped open and I was greeted by the gentle ringing of my alarm. In a rush of adrenaline I leaped out of bed not even bothering to wipe the sleep out of my eyes. Running out of my bedroom and down the narrow hallway towards the living room. Convincing myself It had all just been a horrible, horrible nightmare and everything was alright. Mom and Dad would be fixing breakfast, Dad softly singing a Harchen folk song while making something savory and delicious as mom sang along in harmony, preparing something special for my baby sister Naila. Oh yes and Naila, she would probably be sitting on a cushion in the sunny part of the living room. Holding her crooked tail, a birth defect which my parents said could be fixed when she was older. And making excited chirping noises at my arrival, while sunlight shone against her emerald scales. I loved my baby sister, I knew other kids resented having a younger sibling. Dismissing their responsibilities and spending less time with their family and more with their friends. I never once felt that way, the moment Naila hatched I devoted every spare minute I had to her. Finding music that would help her fall asleep, watching over her when my mom needed a break. Excitedly telling her about the day's events and what I learned at school, especially what I learned in computer science which was my favorite class.
“Mom! Dad!” I yelled bursting into the living room. “I just had the worst…” My voice trailed off as I was greeted with nothing “dream.” My heart tightened painfully in my chest, as I frantically ran through the house throwing open every door, knowing that they had to be here somewhere. They were just playing a game on me that was all, a game I would tell them I didn't appreciate. After the final door had been opened and no one was there to yell “Surprise!” My body slumped and I felt heavy as reality set back in, and the memories of what happened hit me like a hammer. I made my way back down the hall to my room, tail dragging behind me as I crawled back into bed. Wrapping myself tightly in a blanket, trying to find some comfort.
It must have been hours I lay there feeling numb all over, wishing I could get up the energy to just cry. I think I might have fallen asleep at one point. If I did it was a dreamless sleep, thank the stars for that. Eventually I did get up, sitting cross-legged on my bed, resting my chin in my paws, staring holes into the wall. I took a deep breath and side numbly looked out the window, searching for anything to distract myself with.
It was overcast, and eerily quiet. The emergency sirens had stopped blaring yesterday mere hours after everyone had gotten to the bunkers. The bodies of the dead had already been collected and their blood cleaned from the pavement. So as to not attract any predators into the neighborhood. I saw my neighbor A'shul was home, his white vehicle was sporting some new dents. I wondered, when he got into his vehicle yesterday morning and drove to the nearest bunker; did he try to help anyone? Or was he thinking only of himself? I suppose it didn't matter really. Nothing mattered.
I turned my head away and looked around my small room taking in everything, every trinket, misplaced item, my old second-hand desk, a big green crackle finished monster. Better suited for a Venlil than a young Harchen, heck I needed a stool just to use it. I had gotten it for basically nothing about a year ago, when the local extermination office was getting rid of their old furniture. All it took was a small bribe and they put it in my bedroom when no one was home. My parents, but especially my mom we're not happy when they saw it the next day. They would tell me at least once a week that It was too big for me and they were going to get rid of that eyesore. “Wouldn't you like something a little more modern dear?” My mom would ask, practically pleading for me to say yes. I used to pray that my parents would just shut up and stop bugging me about that stupid desk. I thought it was great, it made me think of private detective Bal from the exterminators show. Bal was a no nonsense Harchen who was so often pivotal in tracking down the predator or predator diseased person. My desk was very similar to his and that's why I wanted it. But at that moment, I would have given anything to hear those words again.
On the desk there was an ornate wooden box, with a fruit tree in full bloom delicately carved into its lid. There were also scuff marks where it had been dropped, and a deep crack running down the center. It was known as a blessing box, Naila's blessing box to be specific. When she hatched nearly ten months ago the whole neighborhood had been invited to come and write a blessing on a scrap of paper and put it in the box. I had written one too, not a blessing but a promise, a promise I couldn't keep. The belief was that if kept near the infant, the combined power of all those blessings would keep the hatchling safe until their first birthday. Where on that day the box would be set on fire and burned to ash. Releasing those blessings back into the world so they may protect someone else. It was an old tradition and not commonly practiced anymore, but as my dad always said “It is important to keep the old traditions alive my son. Both in song and action.” I remember asking him why? And he looked at me like he had been waiting for that question for a long time. “Because” He said, his tail moving with authority. “Someday when you lose your way, and you don't know where to turn to. You will always have something to guide you back to your center.”
Looking away from the box not wanting to look or think about the damn thing, I shifted my gaze down to my bedside table. There was a little holographic projector showing pictures of me, Mom, Dad and Naila on holiday back on Fahl, the Harchen home world to see family. I was born and raised on Venlil prime, so I didn't really know any of my extended family. There was a picture of my mom and Naila sleeping at the beach. Naila’s crooked tail coiled around mom’s arm, their scales a deep emerald in the light of the sun. The picture changed to me and Dad putting the finishing touches on a sand skyscraper taller than him. I had to sit on his shoulders to place the last bucket full of sand on top. Both of our scales were as blue as the ocean. My tail flicked sadly thinking of that day. I reached over and turned the holo protector off.
My holopad lay next to me flashing, alerting me to an urgent message. I hadn't really looked at my holopad since yesterday morning. Picking it up I tapped the flashing icon. It was an official government statement signed by Governor Tarva herself, saying that the humans Noah and Sarah were peaceful explorers, and that they only wished to be our friends. ‘No, that's impossible, they’re predators. Predators don't want peace, they want to conquer, kill and eat us,’ stunned and confused I kept reading. The rest of the message stated that the two human scientists were completely unaware there was intelligent life of any kind on Venlil prime. ‘No! Lies! Predator lies!’ I yelled inside my head. Something hot began to form in my chest as I read the last bit. Governor Tarver had shown the two predators footage of the Arxur torturing Venlil pups. It said that the humans were capable of empathy and felt deeply saddened and angered by what they saw. They vowed to do everything in their power to get their united nations into the war against the Arxur.
I scrolled all the way down and what I saw stopped me cold. Standing in her office being flanked by General Kam, stood Governor Tarva. Beside them looming over the two Venlil one bigger than the other, both of them covered in some sort of protective suit. Their faces were obscured by dark visored helmets. It said that the larger of the two Noah was male, and the smaller one was Sarah female. Sarah had her hands clasped in front of her, while Noah kept his to his side. Neither were acting threatening, and neither Tarva or Kam looked to be harmed in any way.
Something in me snapped, that hot thing inside my chest erupted and I could feel my scales turn black. I very carefully set my holopad down beside me, then I uncrossed my legs and got out of bed. I stood there in the center of my room shaking slightly, feeling terribly calm as white hot rage flooded my body, spreading to my paws and all the way out to the tip of my long tail. It never had to happen, the panic, the stampede, the death, we could have stayed home and avoided those people. ‘No… no not people,’ a bitter thought came over me. ‘They're not people at all, people stop and help, like that Venlil girl Kayleik, she was a person maybe the only one. But the rest of them were just wild animals, masquerading as sentient beings. ‘Do you really think you're any better, coward?’ Some internal voice said.
A sudden impulse took control of me and I grabbed my desks stool and hurled it against the wall. It dented the wall and bounced off still in one piece. Enraged, I leaped forward grabbing it by the legs, then turned around and slammed it into my desk. The sheet metal dented and the green crackle finish paint flew off, but the stool made of good dense wood from the string fruit tree stayed whole. “DAMN THEM! DAMN THEM! DAMN THEM! DAMN THEM!” I screamed, slamming the stool down again and again, my tail whipping wildly, striking the bed and the floor. The tip of my tail began to hurt, which only fueled my anger. Finally I heard cracking and wood began to splinter off. They didn't have to die, we could have stayed home. The muscles in my shoulders burned and my heart pounded as hot tears began to well up. I brought it down one final time narrowly avoiding the blessing box, and the stool broke in two. I hurled the pieces away from me, one slamming into the corner the other crashing through the window.
I leaned against the desk catching my breath as tears flowed freely. ‘Well that definitely showed them didn't it. Hey I got a great idea! Let's go break some more stuff, that will definitely make you feel better. Idiot!’ That internal voice said all coldness and bitterness. As I cried, the burning in my chest cooled, and I was filled with the same numbness as before. After a while my stomach growled, reminding me I hadn't eaten since yesterday. I moved sluggishly out of my bedroom and went straight to the kitchen, quickly grabbed some fruit and left to go and watch the view screen or something. The moment I entered the living room, memories came flooding back. Mom and Dad laughing, Naila sleeping peacefully, the lingering aroma of breakfast, and the warmth of our home. But now it was all gone and I was alone. For the first time in my life, I had no one to go to.
It was right then I realized I couldn't stay here anymore. This place felt like a tomb, all cold and filled with the memories of the dead. Besides, if I stayed here someone would eventually send the authorities to come and get me. Ship me off to an orphanage, foster care or maybe to my extended family back on Fahl. I balked at the idea of being forced to live with people I didn't know or trust. Memories of yesterday's stampede invaded my mind and I shuddered. I couldn't trust any of them not anymore. No, there was one person I could think of that maybe I could trust. Turning around I went back to my room, found my backpack and grabbed my holopad, the blessing box, the holo projector and my blanket stuffing it into my pack. Then I went to the kitchen and filled my pack up the rest of the way with dried fruit and vegetable snacks. With my backpack looking like it was going to burst I shouldered it and made my way to the front door. When I rested my scaly paw on the door handle I stopped and looked back at the place that was once my home. “Goodbye” I said in a shaky voice, knowing this would be the last time I would never set foot in this house. With my head low I opened the door and stepped out, into the dim light of a new unfamiliar world.
Previous First

Six Senses Kanuhura – Family Summer Offer

Posted on May 18, 2024 by Andrew Larder

Six Senses Kanuhura Island, Maldives – Family Summer Offer

SUMMER FAMILY OFFER Book by Extension: June 30, 2024 Travel period: April 6 to September 30, 2024 Exclusive family offer for children aged 0-11 years: • Complimentary accommodation and Full-board meal plan when sharing villa with two (2) paying adults. • Complimentary return seaplane transfer, following our contracted maximum villa occupancy with number of children. Please take note of the following important terms and conditions: • Offer is valid for minimum of 4 nights stay. • Offer is valid for Worldwide market. • Children can select dishes from designated kids’ menu of each F&B outlet. • The “Children eat free” offer does not extend into in-villa dining, destination dining and dining at Drift restaurant. • Offer is available strictly for new bookings only and valid for all villa categories, except Beach Villa. • Offer is combinable with all valid contracted and/or tactical offers. • Above offer is subject to stop sales with two-business days advance notice. • Above offer is not applicable to groups, conferences, or meetings of five (5) villas or more travelling together, nor industry/travel agency rates. • All other Terms & Conditions as per the main contract agreement. The following complimentary inclusions apply to all bookings: • Standard fruit basket on arrival. • Personalized bicycle tags and take away the initials on the bicycle. • Unlimited wireless internet. • Complimentary access to spa with use of sauna and steam room (recommended to book 30 minutes in advance) plus fitness center. • Complimentary usage of kayak and stand-up paddleboard at Water Sports Beach. • Complimentary weekly scheduled Sustainability tour with highlights on organic farm planting/ hydroponics and Earth Lab projects. • Complimentary daily ice cream from Scoops. • 24-hour Guest Experience Maker (GEM) butler service for your entire stay.

A tropical beach haven; the reinvention of a Maldivian island icon

An iconic Maldivian island, reborn. This laid-back retreat is known for being home to the finest beaches in the Maldives. Encompassing three private islands, Six Senses Kanuhura resort is a short seaplane ride from Malé International Airport or speedboat transfer from the pristine Lhaviyani Atoll. With 91 spacious beach, family, and overwater pool villas, the lagoon is at your feet, where the vibrant reef protects our resident turtles and marine life. Adventures abound in this paradise found with food, fun, family moments and new friends when you seek connection, and peaceful seclusion when you seek an island escape.

9 Experiences

Six Senses Kanuhura
Jump (or splash) into immersive Maldives experiences Explore the Maldives’ vibrant reefs while snorkeling or dive into the deep blue, discover the secrets of growing veggies in our garden or orchids in the nursery, dine on our sandy shores, indulge in a relaxing spa treatment or take a walk on the island’s beaches for your morning workout. And if you don’t want to do anything: just sit back, chill on the sunbeds and enjoy the ocean view.
Castaway Picnic at Masleggihuraa Escape the world on a deserted island, yours for the day.
Maldives Sunset Dolphin Dhoni Cruise Sunset sips and dolphins.
Ocean Watersports in the Maldives Splash, paddle or play in the turquoise waters of the lagoon.
Scuba Diving in the Maldives Lhaviyani atoll Whether you are a diving newbie or a certified diver, we have you covered.
Traditional Maldives Islands Fishing Master the art of handline fishing, Maldivian style.
Maldives Sustainability Tour Join us on a tour behind the scenes finishing with a highlight: the rare and wild beauty of locally grown orchids.
Sunken Table Dining Experience A unique dining experience on the beach.
Lunch at Drift Castaway lunch on a deserted tropical island.
Orchid Gardeners Spend some time among colorful orchids.

Little Turtles of Kanuhura

Little feet leave big footprints in our hearts and we would like to make sure that our little VIP guests have a memorable time in the Maldives at our family-friendly resort. Grow With Six Senses Children’s Club offers an array of activities suitable for children of all ages, which include crafts, beach and pool games, treasure hunts, children’s yoga and many more fun, creative and educational games.

Six Senses Kanuhura Reservations

Contact me to book a stay at any Six Senses Resort, worldwide:
Andrew Larder, FORA Travel Advisor

Help Spread The Word!

• Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
• Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
• Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)
• Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)
• Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window)
• More

Customize buttons

Like this:

Related

Six Senses Con Dao 2024 offer

May 18, 2024
In "Travel"

Six Senses Krabey Offers

May 18, 2024
In "Travel"

Six Senses Rome – Roma Italia – Discounts

March 30, 2024
In "Travel"
TravelMaldives Six Senses, Sis Senses Family Offer, Six Senses, Six Senses Deal, Six Senses Kanuhura, Six Senses Kanuhura Booking, Six Senses Kanuhura Family Summer Offer, Six Senses Kanuhura Island, Six Senses Kanuhura Reservations, Six Senses Maldives, Six Senses ResortSix Senses Kanuhura – Family Summer Offer

Previous Part
Morning eventually came, banishing the eyes that seemed to peer at me through the night. It was strange how suddenly the feeling left me, making me think that someone really was watching me. The whole thing was really doing wonders for my paranoia. Despite the rough morning and sleepless night, I still found myself waiting outside Bianca’s house bright and early that morning. The air was cool but not chilly, one of those perfect days that’s cold enough you’ll never start sweating unless you really try, but warm enough that a T-shirt will get you through without too much trouble.
I only had to knock once before Bianca threw open the door.
“Where you just waiting there for me?”
I asked, cracking a smile and raising an eyebrow.
“You’ll never know” she added playfully, “Are we ready to go then?”
Bianca had made some preparations for the trip, she didn’t have a backpack ready to go but she definitely made an effort to dress the part… sort of. She was wearing an old grey combat jacket that I imagine she pulled out of Stein’s closet. The jacket was way to big for her but she made it work. Her combat boots matched the jacket, looking old and well worn. What didn’t match was the bright red yoga pants she was wearing, but I wasn’t about to complain. Besides, I had packed each of us a spare set of clothes just in case.
“Oh! So I had an idea, its a long walk, not crazy but I’d rather not just walk the whole way if we can help it. Frank and Stein used to have some bicycles when we first came here so I asked them about it and well.”
Bianca chirped, as she led me around the back of the house and pulled a tarp off two abysmal looking bicycles. The bikes were both red at one point but that was a long time ago. Now they were covered in a layer of rust and I could barely make out the branding that may have once read, “Shwinn”.
“Um… Bianca I think I might get tetanus if I sit on that thing.”
“Oh come on! Aren’t you tired of walking everywhere? Lets just give the bikes a shot, if they crumble to dust we can leave them.”
“And get me a tetanus shot.”
I added quickly
“Fine, and get you a tetanus shot.”
Bianca shot back, she feigned annoyance but she couldn’t hide the smile that crossed her face.
Laughing to ourselves, we got on the bikes and took off North, out of town and onto a dirt path leading to the woods. Bianca didn’t say much on the way out but I could tell she was having a good time. This may have been her first time out of the house for something other than supervising Frank and Stein. She tried to hide it by riding fast and staying out in front of me, but I could still catch her eyes literally glowing with happiness every now and then. I thought back to what Frank had said about her eyes glowing when she experiences strong emotion. I hoped that was the case and she wasn’t just trying really hard to influence me, which he had also said would make her eyes glow.
As we neared the end of the path, the forest’s edge came into view. we let the bikes roll to a stop then got off and let them fall over onto the dirt. I half expected them to explode into a puff of rusty brown dust the second they touched the ground but to my surprise, neither bike did. I could’ve swore I heard Bianca sniffle almost like she’d been crying. I opened my mouth to say something and then thought better of it, if she wanted to tell me what was going on she would. Well, that or she’d just manipulate me away from the question. Wait, was she doing that now? It’s hard to tell, maybe that’s how everyone around her feels. The more I thought about it the more I realized how difficult it must be for her just to have friends or form relationships with people at all. If she told them the truth they’d never know if what they were feeling around her at any given moment was real. All they’d have to go on would be her word, could they really trust that, could I? If she kept her secret she’d know that at any moment she could just change how they felt about her, manipulate them into anything she wanted. Could she resist that kind of power over them and still look someone in the eyes and say she was their friend. Not to mention how hard it would be to keep that secret over years of knowing someone.
“So Keith, were exactly are we headed? You do have some Idea where this mine you’re looking for is right?”
Bianca asked skeptically, snapping me out of my thoughts.
“Well about that…. I just know its out here in the forest somewhere. That’s pretty much all I have to go on from Frank, Stein, and that massive bartender in town.”
I told her sheepishly.
“Well that explains why you over-packed so much then. Seriously? How long do you think we we’re going to be out here, you’re packed like some kind of survivalist.”
She mocked, picking through the pack I’d made for her. After she finished rooting through the pack I made for her like some kind of giant squirrel and, chastised me yet again for not doing more research on the mine, we set off.
The forest felt imposing as we walked into the woods through a manicured patch of trees. Someone had gone to great lengths to braid a few trees over this little path before the forest turned back into its natural wild state. It gave off the feeling that civilization ended with this path and something else entirely began. As we got off the path our light faded quickly, chocked out by the limbs of massive pine trees. All this cover meant there was very little foliage on the ground which was covered in a blanket of needles. The though occurred to me that we were looking for a mine in a valley. That’s weird because what exactly would be in a valley that warranted the creation of a mine? Usually you’ll find them in mountains so what exactly was one doing out here.
“Bianca I just had a thought, Why would they build a mine out here? I mean what’s the point, is there even anything valuable out here to mine?”
“Yeah, come to think of it your right. What other reason would there be to have a mine out here?”
“Unless they were just mining from a cave but that still doesn’t answer the question of what they were…”
Bianca cut me off
“What was that first thing you said?”
“Um… mining from a cave?”
A lightbulb went off over her head as she exclaimed,
“That’s it! There’s caves under the town, I’ve heard Frank talk about them before! Maybe they didn’t have a real mine so they were just mining something out of the caves.”
“Not to burst your bubble Bianca, but that still doesn’t get us any closer to these caves or mines or whatever it is.”
I responded cautiously, trying not to sound to critical of her revelation.
“Well not exactly, Frank said they were in the East of the forest somewhere so all we have to do is head East till we run into them.”
Bianca said, full of confidence. Then something occurred to me, we had no real way of getting back to the bikes other than retracing our steps. Now that was easy enough now, if we went deeper into the woods we would get lost pretty quickly.
“One more thing Bianca, Maybe we should come up with a way to find our way out? I really don’t want to end up lost out here.”
I asked nervously, fidgeting with my hands.
“Way ahead of you on that one, I left my phone back by the bikes. Here give me yours and I’ll put my number in so you can track it and find our way back.”
She said, taking my phone, putting her number into it, and turning it to me to show she’d tracked her own phones location with it, giving us a path back to the bikes.
As we turned East and headed even deeper into the forest the terrain started to change. Instead of the pine needle coating we started to see rocks and the ground was more rugged. Here and there we’d even pass a boulder or two. I decided to break the silence of our search.
“So are you ever going to tell me how you met Frank and Stein?”
Bianca sighed before responding.
“I suppose you deserve to know if your sticking around. You probably guessed I wasn’t always living with them. Lets just say before that I was with someone who I though meant the world to me but I never meant the same to him. It was all a game to him and eventually I noticed that. Then, a little while afterwards I realized I wasn’t exactly powerless anymore and I did some things that I’m not exactly proud of to survive on my own.”
I could tell talking about this hurt her but I needed more.
“That’s not exactly telling me a whole lot Bianca.”
I pressed, maybe a little to hard.
“I found out I had powers and I used them ok! I got myself out of a situation where I was pulled so many way I didn’t know which direction was up! The second I found out I could do the same thing to people myself, I did! You’re the first person to actually seem to give a shit that wasn’t some crazy doctor that tolerates my existence or someone I just manipulated into caring! Maybe I even did that with you! I JUST DON’T KNOW ANYMORE!”
Bianca screamed at me, getting in my face with tears beginning to run down her own. Her eyes were glowing electric blue again and I knew I’d crossed a line.
“Hey I’m sorry I didn’t mean to hurt you. I… I didn’t know.”
“No.. you didn’t but I guess you should”
Bianca sniffled out, trying desperately to pull herself back together and keep up the act the everything was ok. Bianca went silent for a while as we kept walking along, crying to herself before she finally took a deep breath and said,
“You know, this is the first time someone’s asked me to come along and do something outside the house in years. I spend so much time cooped up in there just helping with experiments and looking after Rocco. It’s actually nice to get out and talk for once.”
Her voice still a lifts hoarse from screaming at me before.
“Look if you want to talk about it we’ve got nothing but time out here. I’d like to know a bit more about you anyways.”
I said taking her hand and trying to sound comforting.
“Yeah maybe I should get some of it off my chest. Here it goes I guess.”
Bianca said, taking a deep breath and tightening her grip on my hand. Her eyes still glowed faintly as she told me her story as we ventured deeper into the forest.
I’ll give you the shorter version of it here, mostly cause I’m not sure how she’d feel about me spoiling all her secrets.. She ran away from her family and her college education for a guy, his name was Brooke. Brooke was from money and had a job lined up by his family at a law firm so Bianca thought she was set for life with him. Bianca was madly in love with him at the time but as days grew into months and years, Brooke became a monster. He cheated on her and told her she wasn’t enough, that her shortcomings drove him to do it over and over again and somehow it was all her fault every time. He became abusive not long after the cheating started, flying into fits of hysteric apology afterwards only further convincing Bianca she was somehow at fault. After three years of this she eventually got up the courage to leave and never looked back. On the road she discovered her powers of manipulation, letting her play with people’s emotions and she only got better at it with time. Unfortunately her abilities got her into a very specific form of getting money out of people, prostitution. One day she tried to solicit Stein and he saw straight through her. Stein took her with him to the hotel he and Frank were staying at and they took her in on the spot. The trio traveled together ever since, Bianca becoming a kind of daughter to them.
I was in shock once she finished her story, it sounded like she’d really been through the ringer.“I don’t know what to say, that’s awful, all of it.”
“It was, I lived it. But I made it through, doesn’t matter how at the end of the day. I’ve got Frank and Stein and that’s enough, they let me into their home and I recovered in my own way, I’m still here so I’ll take what I can get right?”
Bianca stated with a cold loom of determination on her face. It was painfully obvious to me that despite the masquerade of being fine she was barley holding it together underneath. Like just talking about it with me was driving a finger into old wounds.
“At least you’ll never have to go through something like that again. With your abilities you never have to get pushed around like that.”
I said with completely no tact whatsoever. Bianca stopped suddenly as I said this and whirled around to face me. The fire I’d seen in her eyes earlier reigniting in seconds.
“Do you really think that’s all this is?! I’m no better than him, even you don’t know what you really think when you look at me! Admit ti!”
Bianca growled at me, hysterical once again.
“No, Bianca I…”
“Look I know your trying to help but just leave it, ok? I’m done talking about this”
She cut me off, pulling herself back together and signaling very clearly we were done with that particular conversation.
“Besides look over there, That hole in the rock see it? That might be what we’re looking for.”
Bianca said, gesturing to the stone wall that now jutted out of the ground beside us.
The rock wall she pointed out was chipped near the middle in a way that couldn’t have been natural. Straight lines don’t really exist in nature and this hole was cut squarely into this rock wall. As we got closer I could see that it wasn’t just an entrance either. The hole opened into the rock wall but then suddenly dropped, like whoever carved it had hit a point where the ground just fell out from under them. From where Bianca and I were looking into the hole we couldn’t quite see the bottom.
“Well we found what we were looking for, is this bringing back any memories from those dreams you had?”
Bianca asked, sounding a little short tempered still as I searched through my bag.
“What are you looking for in there?”
“Rope, I’ve got to see what’s in there and I’m hoping I brought enough to climb down there.”
I replied hurriedly, still tearing apart my bag to get to the rope I had packed underneath everything else.
“Rope? you’re not seriously going to climb down that pit are you? I can barely see down there.”
Bianca complained, sounding exasperated.
“Here, this should help you see down there.”
I said, tossing her one of the two head mounted flashlights I brought along.
“ME? I never said we were going down there!”
Bianca panicked momentarily.
“Look, you can stay up here and wait for me if you really don’t want to go down there. But I would appreciate having you to watch my back.”
I added trying to soften her up. Bianca opened her mouth like she was going to say something but stopped, instead dropping her own pack to the ground and searching through it.
“Look if I’m going down there I’m going to need something better than yoga pants on and…. You actually packed a change of clothes in here. Geez you really did think of everything.”
As Bianca took the jeans I packed and went off to find somewhere to change I finally found the rope. It was about 50 feet of strong climbing rope that I kept for an occasion just like this. Now that’s not to say I was a professional climber by any means but a 20 or 30 foot rappel I should be able to do. I was hoping that the descent wasn’t much further than that. I anchored the rope to a tree a little ways away from the hole in the rock face and tossed the rope down the hole. It hit the bottom with a satisfying thud just as Bianca got back from changing. The jeans I had packed were a little big on her but she’d manage. She looked like a mess in her ancient combat boot and jacket, all of which were too big for her. I tried to open my mouth to tell her she looked nice, I swear I really did but what came out was hyena-like laughter at her appearance.
“I…. Oh god I’m…. It’s just”
I struggled to get out, laughing all the while.
“Well I’m glad you like it at least, ok seriously come on, stop laughing.”
Bianca scolded as she began giggling herself. Soon enough we were both laughing, Bianca’s earlier storminess cleared up by the absurdity of the situation.
Here we were, a succubus and a guy with a strange mark out in the woods getting ready to rappel into a hole in the ground that apparently didn’t exist. All this was almost starting to feel… I’m not really sure how to put it, not normal but not so strange. Honestly I finally felt like I’d found some kind of purpose again out here. As weird as it all was I was starting to enjoy… this, this whole odd situation I’d found myself in. Bianca and I finally got ahold of the laughter and stood back up from our place on the ground.
“Do I really look that bad?”
She asked
“I’ve never heard you complain about your looks before. But no, with those jeans on you look like maybe, just maybe you prepared a little bit for coming out here.”
I teased, getting a little wry grin out of her.
“Come on, lets get going. Hopefully we can be in and out of there pretty quickly.”
I said, handing Bianca her pack and shouldering my own.
Rappelling in wasn’t actually all that hard, really dangerous without safety equipment sure, but neither of us had any trouble descending the maybe 20 foot drop. At the bottom I saw something that shocked me, this place wasn’t abandoned. I saw lighting set up, not on but very clearly set up recently. Bits of old mining equipment were scattered around the… cave? Mine? Im not really sure what to call it anymore. What concerned me more than anything was the light I saw at the far end of the cave (I’m settling on calling it a cave). The light came from a massive bonfire and I could just make out the shadows of several people sitting around it. I have no idea how we didn’t see the smoke on our way in. It wasn’t filling the cave but it also wasn’t coming out from anywhere I saw on the way here.
“Bianca get down!”
I whisper shouted at her, turning off my headlamp and falling flat to the ground myself. Bianca dropped to the ground as she heard me with unexpected grace. I didn’t know if those figures by the fire had seen us but I certainly wasn’t taking chances.
“Ok, I’m going to creep up and see if I can hear them talking or something. Can you just stay here and watch my back? I don’t want you getting any closer than you have to.”
I instructed Bianca who answered with a quick nod and reached into the inner pocket of her jacket. She withdrew a jeweled golden dagger from it.
“I sorry, what’s this now?”
I asked, confused and thrown off guard by the weapon. It was a really beautiful blade, the hilt was silver with several purple gems inlaid in it. The blade was golden save for the razor sharp edge which was some kind of strange blue material that was roughly the same color Blanca’s eyes glowed.
“I had a life before this you know.”
Bianca responded.
“Yeah we talked about it but you didn’t really tell me much about this part apparently. Doesn’t matter I guess just surprised you have Jeff Bezos’s butter knife in your jacket pocket.”
I whispered, pointing at the dagger in her hand.
“Well we can talk more about how I ended up with this later, not really the time now. Just be careful ok.”
I got up as she said this, realizing she was right. Now really wasn’t the time to be asking about strange daggers, I had more pressing issues.
I crouched down and started creeping towards the figures by the bonfire, careful to avoid the rusty machinery bits scattered across the ground. As I got closer I saw a passage I had missed in the dark. I dared to turn my headlamp on for just a second, trying to block out most of the light with my hand. What I saw through the dim light and shadows of my finger left me awestruck. Inside the passage a coliseum had been constructed, with seats carved into the stone. The structure itself was made up of the rusted metal pieces that littered the room, collected and smelted together to form the walls of the structure. What frightened me the most was the symbol clearly and meticulously drawn on the dirt floor, the same symbol that adorned my back, the symbol of the thunderbird. Moving on, more shaken than ever I crept closer still to the roaring bonfire. I could just about make out the words the figures were saying. When I got close enough to make out the word “tests” the fire suddenly went out with a gust of wind.The room temperature must have dropped 10 degrees immediately and I could swear I heard the sounds of heavy rain above us. But the sudden lack of light isn’t what rooted me in place, cowering on the cave floor. What did that was the two illuminated grey eyes that pierced through the darkness like lightning in a storm, eyes I would never forget, the eyes of the woman from Imalone.
This time I clearly heard the voices of the figures from around the bonfire as they all dropped to their knees.
“Shaoni! We weren’t expecting you till later, Stormcaller.”
The figures all said some variation of in unison. Their tone sounding almost as though they were begging for forgiveness. In a voice that hissed like rain on pavement the woman apparently named Shaoni spoke.
“I’ve come to oversee the start of the trials, is everything prepared?”
In one bone chilling moment her eyes locked on mine and she said the one thing I’d hoped she wouldn’t.
“You didn’t tell me we had guests.”
The moment the words left her lips I turned back to where Bianca was waiting, her now glowing eyes cutting through the darkness of the cave. Giving up any form of subtly, I bolted for the rope behind Bianca. I just wanted to be out of this cave, whatever I might learn from searching around was far outweighed by the fact that Shaoni was here. I’d seen the kind of destruction she’d left in her wake in Imalone and I had no desire to see it happen again here. I banged my ankle on several of the little bits of rusty metal on the floor as I ran, sending sparks of pain up my leg. I didn’t hear anything behind me at all which was almost more unnerving than the footsteps I expected to hear. I closed in on Bianca and saw she hadn’t moved at all, her eyes fixed on something behind me. I dared to take a quick glance back over my shoulder and saw Shaoni taking her first step away from the extinguished bonfire. Lightning crackled around her like one of those novelty plasma globes. In the flashes of light I could see her face. There was no smile or frown, no emotion at all. She simply stared straight ahead towards me and took slow calm steps, inching ever closer.
“Bianca we’ve got to go… NOW!”
I shouted, snapping her to attention. She nodded and turned on her heels, back toward the rope we’d thrown in earlier. Only, when we got to the rope and gave it a tug, it came falling back toward us.
“There’s no way. I…I anchored it to that tree, it should’ve held!”
I cried in disbelief. Bianca and I starred up at the now stormy sky through the hole we would’ve escaped from. Two men walked into view on either side of the hole, glowering down at us. I notice a marking on one of the men’s hands in a flash of lightning from the storm. I could only assume if I was able to make it out I would’ve seen a marking just like the one on my back. Just as soon as the men had appeared a shape flew in from the left with a low growl, taking both men along with it.
“Ok, new plan! There’s something else up there and I really don’t want to get involved with… whatever that was either. I didn’t see any footprints near the entrance so I’m assuming those guys we saw by the bonfire got in another way. We’re just going to have to find where that was and get out that way.”
I instructed Bianca, gesturing to the men in toe with Shaoni and trying not to sound as afraid as I was.
“Ok, I’m with you but lets get moving, I don’t want to any closer to her than I have to be.”
Bianca answered, putting her hand on my shoulder. I suddenly felt a wave of calm rush over me and for the second time I was grateful for Bianca’s ability to simply turn off my fear response.
Shaoni now stood about 50 feet from us with four men following behind her. In the light she gave off I could see the men were all dressed like normal people. I kind of figured they would be more of those canvas wrapped weirdos from Imalone but no. There stood four men in jeans and flannels standing there. Shaoni looked like she could’ve stepped right out of a painting of Pocahontas. She wore an animal hide dress with frills along the bottom and arms. Her head was adorned with a leather band containing several hawk feathers. In short she looked like she’d stepped out of a different time. But I had no time to look over the finer details of her clothing as Bianca and I rushed towards her. Once we got within striking distance I pulled Bianca to the left, towards the passage I had seen earlier. Shaoni never made a move towards us, she just simply looked at me, the ghost of a smile briefly crossing her lips. One of the men with her grabbed at Bianca though, pulling her out of my grasp momentarily. That was a mistake because she was on him immediately with the ornate dagger I’d seen before. As the man grabbed her Bianca lashed out with the dagger, sticking him in the gut with the blade. He screamed in anguish and let go of her but Bianca wasn’t done yet. She followed up by stabbing the man in the back of the neck as he bent over, grabbing at the hole in his abdomen. The other three men were so taken aback by the sudden ferocity she displayed that they didn’t come any closer. As time stood still for a second the men all looked toward Shaoni, awaiting instructions but hesitant to get any closer to Bianca. Using the brief moment of disbelief Bianca had caused, we ran down the side passage towards the coliseum.
“What was that?”
I asked, still shocked by how suddenly Bianca had acted.
“He tried to grab me, I don’t like when they try to grab me”
Bianca responded, distant and… scared? I got the sense she was still in shock at what she had done too. But I couldn’t worry about that right now, we still had to get out of here. Luckily the men didn’t seem to be following us. Wether Shaoni called them off or they stopped to care for their friend I didn’t know, and frankly I didn’t care.
Rushing through the rusty coliseum was haunting. I expected something to jump out of every shadow in the imposing structure. As we slowed to a jog in the middle of the coliseum, right where that eagle symbol was, we stopped to look around. We had come into this arena through an open arch but the only other exit I could see was a similar but barred archway. The coliseum was huge for something constructed in a cave, probably 400 feet across. I had no idea how this thing could’ve been made without anybody finding out.
“Bianca are you seeing anyway out of here? Bianca!”
I asked, then shouted as I turned to see her standing still as a statue in the middle of the Eagle symbol. She was staring at the dagger she had stabbed that man with. Blood still stained the blade and dripped from it intermittently.
“Bianca are you alright?”
I questioned as I walked over to her. She still had this look in her eyes, like she was miles away.
“Bianca? Come on talk to me. Look, you did what you had to do back there, sure it wasn’t exactly pretty but it had to be done.”
I tried to comfort her with my words but the truth is, my heart just wasn’t in it. I was a little scared of what I saw from her in those few moments. She just lashed out and attacked him, not that he didn’t deserve it but going back for more was too much. But what would’ve happened if she didn’t act? It’s not something I could really dwell on now and I’m not sure it really mattered. I just wasn’t feeling all that great about the fact we may have killed someone.
“I don’t like it when they grab me.”
Bianca finally repeated, still appearing catatonic. I leaned down to her level, putting my face right in-front of her’s and putting her head in between my hands.
“Bianca I know enough to know that whole situation may have dug up some memories for you but nows really not the time. We have to keep moving, we have to find a way out of here, and I can’t do that without you right now.”
Bianca tensed up as I spoke to her, but I could feel her relax as I finished. A single tear fell from her eye as she gave me a nod and followed behind me as I walked toward the barred off archway.
Before I made it to the archway there was a massive crash as something tore the rusty bars from their mountings and fell into the room.
“Tuck?!”
I exclaimed, recognizing his colossal figure on the floor immediately. His shirt and pants were torn to shreds though, Like he’d flexed too hard and burst out of his clothes. Bianca and I rushed over to check on him but apparently he was fine. Before we even started walking towards him he was already back up on his feet and lumbering towards us.
“Tuck what are you doing here? Actually never mind, are you ok?”
I asked, concern in my voice.
“It’s going to take more than this to stop me son. I figured you might go looking for that old mine I mentioned the other night so I came to find you. I feel real bad about ya run’in off the way ya did and I got to thinking. Maybe I could make it up to ya if I told ya about the mine. So I came out here and found some shady look’in fellas poking around and figured maybe ya needed help, looks like I was right.”
Tuck explained, dusting himself off and brushing away some of the tattered remains of his shirt. I didn’t buy his story for a second but I wasn’t going to argue with this bear of a man.
“So how did you get in anyway?”
“Used the old entrance from back when this place was still run’in, come on I’ll lead ya out.”
Tuck answered, already turning and walking back the way he came.
The walk out was long and none of us talked much so I just looked around. The further we walked down this little tunnel the more I noticed crushed equipment. The walls looked like they were made up of bits and pieces of crumbled rock that may have once been the ceiling of a much bigger tunnel here.
“There was a collapse, just like the report said only, whatever caused it wasn’t any fault of ours. It was that damn thunderbird waking up.”
Tuck piped up, answering one question and making me ask another.
“Wait you knew about her?!”
“All the miners did, some decided to follow her after she woke up and brought the walls down on us. Others wanted revenge for the brothers we lost, I’m one of the former. You see son, the reason I stayed around this town so long was because of that bird. I want a chance to return the favor.”
“But what about Robert? If you hate the thunderbird so much why’d you let him in? You had to see that tattoo on his hand.”
“I know he thinks that damned bird will “save” him or something but I don’t blame him. Everyone deals with things in their own way and it’s not my place to judge folk for it.”
Tuck lectured, as we made our way further down the passage. His words made sense to me but I didn’t understand how he could be so understanding. From what I understood the thunderbird had a part to play in the original mine’s collapse and the death of the workers there. Only for some of the survivors to revere this creature. If I were in Tuck’s shoes I don’t think I could forgive and forget.
Finally we saw light at the end of the tunnel. We emerged into the whispers of what I’m sure was a monster of a storm. But that’s not what drew my attention, what did were the boulders scattered around the hole we just came out of. It looked like they had been moved, and recently. The suspicious red stain just barley peaking out from the bottom of one of them only served to convince me further. Tuck’s story didn’t quite make sense and this entrance seemed like it should’ve been blocked up until very recently. I wasn’t about to question the guy who saved us though, so I let the issue rest.
Bianca’s idea of tracking her phone to find our way to the bikes worked like a charm. We followed the directions my phone spit at us and eventually found our way back to the bikes. Tuck’s old Ford Bronco sat behind our bikes leaving me to question if he followed us on our way here.
“Well do you kids want a ride back to town?”
Tuck asked, his voice bellowing across the forest. Seriously it was like the guy swallowed a loudspeaker at some point and just spoke through it now.
“No we’ll find our own way back.”
“Alrighty then, stay safe son.”
Tuck called back to me as he got into his truck and drove off. Bianca and I stood up our bikes and got ready to head back to town.
“Hey Keith?”
“Yeah what is it Bianca?”
“Next time you offer to bring me along somewhere can you warn me about the damn thunderbird that seems to just show up around you.”
I laughed at this, it was nice to see Bianca joking around again. After what happened in the caves she seemed like someone else, none of her usual cheeriness was there. Not that I knew if that was what she wanted me to see from her or how she actually presented herself but still. I trusted her enough at this point to assume she wasn’t using her abilities to mess with my head.
When we got back to Bianca’s house the sun was just beginning to set, washing the town in shades of purple, orange, and red. We walked the bikes around to their place behind the house and I walked Bianca back to the front door.
“Thanks for today Keith,I don’t… get out very much anymore and it was… nice… to do something other than sit around the house for once. You know, despite everything that happened it was actually fun.”
I was taken aback by her words at first. If it was me I’d immediately want nothing to do with this person who just put me in danger.
“You had fun? The thunderbird showed up again and we may have killed a guy and you had fun?”
I asked, raising and eyebrow suspiciously.
“Can we not talk about that right now? Anyways I don’t exactly have a high bar for what is and isn’t fun at this point. I’ll see you later Keith.”
Bianca said, cracking a smile and walking into her house.
I was about halfway back to my own house when I realized she never gave me my backpack back. Well, looks like I’d be seeing her again then because I need that stuff back. I wasn’t sure what to think about what I’d seen today. If the thunderbird was in those mines years ago why did she end up in Wisconsin? There was also a very real possibility some people in this town worshipped her so I’d have to keep an eye out for that. The really interesting thing to me was the Shaoni never seemed to want to hurt me in the cave today. She was terrifying as all hell sure, but I didn’t get the sense that she wanted to cause me any sort of harm. If she wanted to do that my gut told me she would’ve done it quickly and efficiently.
Thunder suddenly cracked outside, interrupting my train of thought. As I stood up to see what time it was a knock came from the front door. I froze, who exactly could it be? I doubt Bianca would come over, I don’t think she even knows where I live but maybe she came by to drop off the backpack she absconded with? The knock came again, more forcefully this time.
“I’m coming, I’m coming!”
I shouted, as I jogged to the door. My heart dropped as soon as I opened it, On the other side of the door stood Shaoni. She was dressed normally for once, wearing a long flowing white nightgown. Shaoni stepped into my house as she cooed in her usual misty voice.
“Good evening. Keith was it? We have much to discuss.”

As title says does any of you who Drive/Ride get a sudden urge to Speed up, like you are driving at 20kmph and suddenly you hit the race/gas and now you are at 100kmph or above without any reason, like there is no vehicle on the road noone is trying to cross you nothing, but out of the blue you decided to speed up and after few sec or min you slow down again, i thought it might be a sign of adhd as well I am 21(M) from Pakistan and few months back i learned about adhd and when i searched more about it almost 90% symptoms were in me, since i live in Pakistan where no one take mental health seriously so i can't tell anyone and doctor are also a*hles only few are good and before approaching them i wanna make sure i have adhd or signs of it And this speeding thing is happening with me for quite some time so i wanna know is it because of adhd or normal?

Scott Masterson had first met Scarlett at a rooftop party in downtown Dallas. Their age and the time of year were both in late springtime, them in their mid twenties and the date in early May. He had on a sharp yet breezy blazer and she astonished in a thigh length sleeveless blue dress.
“Oh hey Scott I don’t believe you two have met…” his then happily married friend had remarked with a slow swinging open hand toward her.
“Scott Masterson…reluctant friend to this knucklehead” he said with a tight lipped grin, trying not to be so obvious with his instant rapture.
“Scarlett…a pleasure…”
Her hand was so delicate to Scott’s touch. They locked eyes. It was like looking back through centuries of connection, endless days of laying in the sun next to the Seine River, or rising to Hollywood fame in the 1940’s and only having each other who would understand the glory and the pain of it all, or generations of quiet, simple country love that would bear such beautiful, happy children that would go on to raise beautiful, happy children, all with their dark blue eyes. Yes, the memories of every love story since the beginning of time was swirling right there in Scarlett’s irises. Scott had to catch himself before he stared embarrassingly too long.
“Sorry Scottie here doesn’t get out often” his friend quipped, which Scott appreciated actually, it helped him snap back to professionalism.
“Well I don’t either…at least I prefer not to.” Scarlett’s words flowed through the air like a flock of rose petals.
“Hey, kindred spirits.” Scott was really sensing a rising energy out of her, they had barely broken eye contact.
“Well, I’ll let you two have at it, I got a wife around here somewhere. Hey…Scott and Scarlett…not bad, not bad.” His friend exited stage right with a sly chuckle.
“Nice guy…so…what are you drinking, Scarlett?” Scott looked around for the emptiest corner of the rooftop bar, hoping to find a nice place for them to be able to hear each other. This night had just become something.
“That depends, Scott…what do you like?”
Oh man.
Well, as you can expect, the evening blossomed into a beautiful, long winded conversation that etched a long list of similarities between the two. They both lived in the city, had never married, and had dreamed of stable, simpler lives far away from tall buildings and busy streets. The next morning Scott awoke in her arms, which warmed much deeper than just his skin. He could feel her soothing his very identity, his future, everything. Her arms were tailor made to fit his very soul, and he had never felt more safe and at home.
“Mmm…you can stay right here…” she whispered, eyes still closed.
“I will…I will”
They both fell back asleep, into a dream that wouldn’t end upon waking.
Two years passed and suddenly they lived that simple backwoods life, way out where acres of land far out-populated the few and far between people. They took a lovely home, which happily looked over a long backyard, right up to a lively yet mostly undisturbed river. Their only neighbor within a mile was an older ranch worker named Charles, who rarely made himself perceivable. Days were spent way on into town where they both had offices. They didn’t mind the commute. Nights were spent mostly like this night, cuddled outside near a lovely little fire, with a slowly shrinking amount of wine sitting between them. Enjoying their Kingdom. Tonight, however, would prove to be a special night, for many reasons, all unexpected.
“Honey, I’ve been thinking…” Scott began, sitting up and opening his hands to the warmth of the fire.
“Oh?” Scarlett also sat up, eyes widening.
“So look, Scarlett, the last two years have been the best of my life. An absolute dream…”
She held her breath, her focus darting between his eyes and mouth.
“Yeah?”
“We have everything we ever want out here. But…what if there’s more?”
“More?” She had envisioned this very conversation hundreds of times.
“Our dreams have come true, but what if we…made some new dreams?” Scott turned and embedded his eyes into hers. He burst into a big smile.
“Scott…I thought…”
“Nevermind what I said” he cut her off, which he always made a point to never do, but this was a good exception.
“I’m ready, Scarlett…let’s have a family.”
“Ohhhh Scott, oh Scott”
They hugged tight enough to where it hurt.
“Well, in that case, we may need to open another bottle.” She said playfully, bouncing her eyebrows twice.
“Excellent. I’ll be right up. I’ll put this fire out and then start yours up.”
“Oh stop!” She bounded away girlishly, up the snowy back steps and into the house.
Scott let out a big sigh that he could see in the cold air and sat back in his chair, taking in his decision. He really was ready. He had secretly been keeping a long list of names that he liked and that he thought would work in front of Masterson. Especially little girl names. He stared into the campfire flames, getting lost imagining the three of them sitting right here, a little girl resting securely in Scarlett’s arms, as Scott had found himself, and stayed within these past two years.
Suddenly his trance was broken when, from the road in front of their house, came the sound of a vehicle approaching at high speed. Scott snapped his head back toward the house to get a better listen. He could see, around the house and through the trees, a large truck barreling down the country road, its headlights racing and bouncing with intensity. In an instant, it had passed up the road and out of sight.
“Huh?”
Soon, after a moment of silence, another sound echoed into the night. This sound rattled Scott to the bone and tore all that was right in his world into pieces. A sharp, bellowing squeal. His eyes shot over to his neighbors house, which was about a tenth of a mile to his right but still had a couple dim lights on that he could see. The shriek seemed to come from there.
Then, more squeals. It was hellish. More than animal but not quite human. Scott stood up. He heard crashing and tearing and further destruction coming from Charles’ house.
“Scarlett!! Scarlett!” He yelled toward his house, where he looked and could see her silhouette behind the curtains at the kitchen window. She didn’t seem to hear him.
He turned back toward his neighbors. The chaos had gone quiet. Not a half a moment after, though, he heard something big barreling through the trees as fast as that truck had been sprinting. Running, running furiously between the two houses. Searching, hunting. Scott was taken aback so hard that his heel had caught the edge of the fire pit, throwing him down only inches away from severe burns. He had knocked his head in the whiplash, making him groan and take a moment to regain his bearings.
“SCARLETT!!!!”
He screamed out toward his home as he sat up, rubbing a quickly rising bump on the back of his head. He heard a loud breaching on the side of his house. The patio door. No. No. Then, all hell broke loose. Scarlett started wailing and crying and he could hear crashes of plates and glasses and deep guttural roars coming from the kitchen inside. Shadows danced in a frenzy from the curtained windows. Sounds of instinctual survival seemed to be thrown from Scarlett inside. Sounds of defeat. Sounds of agony. Sounds of insanity. Scott sprang to his feet, his equilibrium being more damaged than he realized after his fall. He had to catch his hand on a chair to stabilize himself. Scarlett’s symphony of pain had gone quiet. Soon after something burst back out the patio door again and off in the same direction as that truck before.
Scott struggled back up to the house, slowly climbing the wintered, crunching stairs that led to the patio. He no longer yelled for Scarlett. In fact, the only thing that came to his senses was the sound of his own heavy breathing. Everything else had been turned off, save for a heavy and sudden dread that he had prayed he would never feel. He came to the side of his house where indeed the patio door had been busted and forced open. It laid inside the kitchen, its hinges snapped like toothpicks. Scott, with eyes wide and twitching, slowly entered his home and looked into the kitchen.
He didn’t scream. He didn’t even change his breathing. He didn’t blink. He just got a good long look at what laid before him.
Everything was broken. The fridge was on its side, the door hanging open and food and drink scattered all over the floor. The table was upended, its legs to the ceiling. A chair was resting on the counter, possibly having been thrown in defense. And Scarlett. Oh Scarlett. She…was…everywhere. She was all over the floor. She was sprayed against the walls. She was stuck to the window. She was in the sink.
Scott gently walked through the carnal mess and sabotage of his world. Long ago he had known exactly what he would do if something anywhere near this bad were to happen to him. He politely stumbled through the kitchen, down the hall, and into the bedroom. He opened his closet door and lowered a fire safe from the top rack. He unlocked it with a passcode. 511, after that warm May date when he had first met Scarlett. In the safe was a Sig Sauer P320 handgun. Scott took it out, along with a box of bullets, loaded one into the gun, put the safe back on its rack, and walked out of the closet, sitting on his bed. Their bed. Where they should’ve been laying right at this very moment, working toward a happy future. Where he would’ve kissed her forehead and put a hand on her growing midsection. Where they would have awoken on Christmas morning to the sound of children who were way too excited to remain asleep. Where they would’ve grown old. Where they would’ve smiled at each other through wrinkles, satisfied with all the love they shared and passed on to the next generations. Where they would’ve held each other in deep peace as they finally fell asleep to this world.
“I will…I will”
In one quick motion Scott pulled back the hammer and stuck the barrel of that pistol right up against his Governor and blew himself away, far away, right back into Scarlett’s loving arms.
Jeremy “Smallmouth” Bassett quickly yet stealthily made his way back to his Uncle’s house. He hugged the sides of the dark country road, keeping his eyes and ears wide open as to notice any sounds pertaining to the event that he had just witnessed there in the field next to the huge blaze. His only thought was Uncle Chuck. His house was right on the warpath of that horrible thing and Smallmouth had to go to him and make sure he was safe. He dared not go back to his truck, which would bring a lot of unwanted attention. No, Smallmouth walked and walked and finally saw the lights of his Uncle’s house. He carefully approached the front door from the shadowed driveway. Suddenly it occurred to Smallmouth that something was very wrong here. The door was busted in, having been plowed through by something very large and very strong.
“No…no…no”
Smallmouth slowly entered the house. The kitchen and living room were a disaster, chairs and tables and bottles strewn about and shattered. Bloody hoof-prints covered the floors, each of them the size of dinner plates. Smallmouth heard no noise. He felt himself well with tears, his nose a faucet that he began to sniff up as he worked his way through to his Uncle’s room, the door there also being broken in. A small whine growing in his throat, Smallmouth peaked into his uncles bedroom.
It was all in tatters. The bed had been attacked and shredded, the mattress being ripped up and thrown about as if it were made of cotton candy. More bloody hoof-prints were painted all over the brown carpet. Smallmouth trembled and put a hand up to his wet face. He didn’t see a way that his Uncle was anywhere near alive, knowing what he knew about the monster that had been in this house.
Smallmouth slowly walked to the living room, to the only little table that had been untouched in the attack. It was almost as if the bottle of whiskey teleported into his hand from the overturned cabinet, unopened. He fixed that real quick.
Soon he was several pulls deep of the only thing in the world that he knew would make him feel better, even if only for a few hours. He found his pack of cigarettes in his coat pocket and lit one up, although he was indoors. What did it matter? He sat in a chair that he had turned right side up and set the bottle on the table and looked out the back window into the pitch black. He cried for his Uncle and he cried for the world. He cried for himself. He cried for broken promises and his own weakness. He drank and drank until his vision shook from right to left everywhere he looked. At first he didn’t even notice the figures on the back porch. Then his vibrating focus did pick up on them, but by then it was too late. It was so dark out there but in their outlines he could see they wore long robes and hoods.
“HA!! COME AND GET ME! HAHA!! YOU COME AND YOU GET ME!!” Smallmouth boasted with a delusional amount of courage.
A creak escaped from the kitchen and he drunkenly slung his head over toward it. Three more figures stood there. Or was it just one? Smallmouth was none the wiser. All at once the hooded intruders from both inside and outside began to chant a strange, twisted rhyme in strikingly low and dissonant harmony:
“A sliver…of liver…goes down…with a shiver… …and gives…your gullet…to gall… …but drink…the Cider…that drowns…the Spider… …and you…will be free…of it all… …so tighten the grip…that loosens your lips… …O raise…the bottle…of brown… …and wake tomorrow…to find…in sorrow… …ANOTHER…SPIDER…TO…DROWN”
Smallmouth groaned at them in dissatisfaction and turned his bottle up again and began to chug the whiskey. As he did they repeated the chant except this time it was louder and closer. By the time Smallmouth had finished his bottle he was quickly losing consciousness. This wasn’t just whiskey. As he closed his eyes he felt hands grabbing him from all sides.
Smallmouth pulled open his sticky eyelids. His head felt like someone had bowled a strike into it. Wind froze his face. The smell of sickly, wet iron stung his nostrils. His vantage was higher than usual. Way higher. He was looking out into another field, but from easily ten feet up. He saw an old church, formerly painted white but now a flaky pale-beige. He heard the friction of a quick pull of rope below him, matched with a slight, tight pain at his feet. He looked down. A red-robed figure was fastening him against a wooden structure of some kind. His feet sat on a small flat platform perpendicular to a post that went from the ground up past smallmouths head. He couldn’t move his arms, so he quickly shot his eyes side to side. They were also tied to another horizontal post. A cross. He was being tied to a crude wooden cross. His shirt had been removed, exposing a hairy, overweight belly. Smallmouth tried to speak, but all that came out was a slow, unintelligible grumble. He was still drunk. No, this was more than that. He was under the influence of something strong and absolutely inhibitive. He wallowed again, and took in a deep breath. The smell of iron once again hit his nose. He looked down at himself. He was covered in a thick, red liquid. That wasn’t just the smell of iron. He had been splashed full body with blood.
“Now now, young servant…” the figure at his feet had finished his task and took a couple of steps out to admire his own handiwork.
“Ahh…perfect. The picture of martyrdom. Yes, you will always be remembered, Brother Bassett. You are to be the first Saint of The New Bible.” He opened his arms in his declaration.
Smallmouth looked up into the cold night sky. The moon shown down, giving everything a midnight spotlight. It was a gorgeous waxing gibbous, big and bright but not quite full. Yes, he was in a great big snowy field that housed an old worn down church. From the windows of the church he saw candles glowing, showing dark heads and shoulders looking out to him, also covered in loose hoods, hiding faces. He was hanging on a cross about one hundred feet from the old church. In front of the cross was a partially covered pit, a couple of two by fours supporting double armfuls of branches and dead leaves.
The figure at the base of the cross put his arms back to his side. He was still looking right at the drugged Smallmouth’s dumbstruck face. Even with a veiled mouth you could hear the twisted smile in his voice.
“Tonight you will help us finally defeat this legion, Smallmouth. You see, it may have the evil spirits within it, but at its core, it is still an owned animal. An animal that knows its Master very well. An animal that will remember the smell of its Master. You, my friend, are covered in its Master right now. And you are hanging on a cross, the symbol of this brute’s most hated enemy. But take heart, young Brother. Before you is our pit of spears. Yes you will attract the beast, but our Divine plan will intercept it and the beast will fall and be pierced. And then, oh dear brother, you will forever be immortalized. You will be purified in fire by the hands of your church brethren. Out of your screams and into the smoke the iniquities of all will be released. We will go on to preach your good example and your sainthood forever and ever.”
Smallmouth began to drool and hum pathetically. He could hear and understand the words of the robed man but he couldn’t fight back. His body was useless, limp inside its rope confines. All he could do now is think, and watch, and wait, and dread his fate.
The figure turned away from him, walking over near the pit and gathering up a bundle of brambles and throwing them over the last open area, covering it completely. He then crunched through the snow over to the front door of the old church, groaning open the door. He stood at the dark doorway for a few seconds in silence, and then began to make a noise. An over exaggerated pig squealing noise, high pitched and infuriating. Soon after other voices from inside the church began to do the same, their wailing echoing out of the building and all across the field, loudly signaling, calling out. It may as well have been a dinner bell. Not a half minute after they began the distress signal it was loudly answered by a distant squall. A furious squall.
This was it. Either way it happened Smallmouth was about to die. Experience terror, and then die, and not even have the ability to put up any kind of defense. It wasn’t fair. He just slowly lifted up his head and watched out far into the moonlit, white field. He then raised his heavy head further and took a good gander at the moon and stars for the last time.
“God,” he thought to himself, still having full inner monologue yet no outer motor function, “I am so sorry. I am so sorry for being what I am. I am so sorry for ending up in this place. It’s only my own fault. If it wasn’t for me being so stupid and messy and drunk and terrible then this wouldnt be happening to me.”
He began to shed tears that washed lines into the blood on his face.
“Please forgive me God. Please, please, please forgive me for all of my sins. This is it. I’m gonna die. I’m gonna die. PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!!” He yelled inside his own mind, hoping and trying to send his silent words as far up into heaven as they could go.
He lowered his eyes back to the ground. He looked over at the church again. The windows were empty, the candles were extinguished. Those hooded cowards were hiding from their own handmade sacrificial service. All was quiet for a long pause until a much louder, closer bleating began at the edge of the forest not even three hundred feet away from Smallmouth’s glazed over eyes. It was time, and it was too late for a miracle.
Out of the woods, slowly and heavily, stomped the massive hog. As it marched closer and closer Smallmouth could see its white, boiled over eyes and black-burnt skin. Its jaws were flying open and snapping its sharp, pocket knife-sized teeth together in an intimidating “clack”. It was now less than a hundred feet away, the dark old church to its right shoulder. It stopped, its pale glowing eyes fixed right on Smallmouth on the crude cross. It truly was a monster. It stood as tall as a man and as long as a canoe. Around its murderous mouth were stains of red, the remnants of all that it had taken from the world on this unholy night. In its clanging jaws were bits of flesh. It snorted and scowled.
Then, in a fury, it wailed that horrible squeal and started off into a dead sprint. It galloped and galloped toward Smallmouth at a high, blistering speed. It kept yawping and howling as it cut the distance from the cross down to fifty feet, forty feet, thirty, twenty. All at once it passed over the covered pit and plunged in. In his doomed, dead eyed stupor Smallmouth could hear what sounded like paint being dumped from a rooftop onto concrete. Trails of black liquid squirted and splashed up from the pit, which had been uncovered in the fall of the beast. Unbelieving, Smallmouth saw dozens of steel spear tips standing up from the dug-in ground. Right in the middle of them the beast was stuck. The sheer weight of the animal had caused the spears to pierce through its tough skin, sticking out of its back, soaked in black blood. One spear had stabbed right under the hogs chin, passing up through its jaws and out its black snout. It made agonized sounds. It roared and roared and shook the spears inside it, beginning furiously, then growing weaker and weaker within seconds. Finally, it let out one last weak little squeal, before it went still and quiet.
Smallmouth was frozen both physically by drugs and constraints and mentally by shock. His mouth hung open toward the pit of spears, his vision blurry. He took in a deep, troubled breath and let out a moan of disbelief and relief. The old church doors sprang open, and the sound of jubilation within flowed out into the night. The red robed figures flocked out of the building toward the pit, arms raised in celebration. They surrounded the hole, getting a good look at their success and their enemies defeat. Some held additional spears and began further stabbing the dead animal, causing more black blood to be shed up at them. They all yelled loudly and triumphantly. Some danced around the pit. Some skipped over to Smallmouth on the cross and danced around him, slapping his legs and spinning in circles.
Smallmouth looked on at the raucous celebration, both in utter disbelief of their trap actually working and also in turmoil. How long now until they fully execute their plan.
A taller robed man, whose voice matched the same one who spoke to Smallmouth as he tied his feet, spoke up, sounding almost happily intoxicated.
“Ahh yes my Brothers!! It is done!! We have won!!!”
They all whooped and cheered.
“Brother Norman, go into the church and bring me the small tank of fuel. Let us send our dear Saint Bassett to the Holy lands, where he will be adored for all eternity!”
They all clapped and hollered. One figure began childishly skipping away from the pit and over toward the front door of the church.
Then, it happened.
From the pit all of a sudden a great blaze erupted instantly. It stood as tall as the cross, and it burned a furious red and blue. It raged and raged, blinding Smallmouth and making him clumsily turn his face away from the heat.
All of the figures panicked, screaming and scattering away toward the church. They didn’t get far. Up from the fiery pit, dozens of long, long, black arms, adorned with six hooking claws emerged and stretched out of the flames and latched on to the legs of those trying to escape. Smallmouth heard crying and wailing from the men as the black, razor clawed-hands of the legion grabbed them and began pulling them back, into the blazes. One by one the red robed people were dragged into the flames, their clothes catching instantly. Smallmouth could see violently shaking bodies in the evil furnace. Oh, the screams. Above the tortured howling, the sound of laughing broke out. Deep, menacing laughter, hundreds of voices, echoed up into the air from the burning hole. Then, in one extinguishing squeeze, the ground swallowed the entirety of the fiery pit, leaving it completely covered in dirt, still and quiet. Soon after, and just like the pit of spears, the old church building caught in an instant and raging fire, quickly toppling the walls and dropping the steeple into its ruins. The smoke towered high in the night sky, which had just began to hint at a pale morning blue. Smallmouth hung on his cross in utter horror and surprise.
As the late evening hours glowed into early morning the smoke eventually tapered off, as Smallmouth’s drugs finally began to wear off as well. The fires of the church did garner long distance attention, though. Just as Smallmouth was able to regain control of his muscles and voice he heard emergency sirens call out into the cold morning air. Not long after, two fire trucks, an ambulance and a sheriffs truck tore into the field and toward Smallmouth on the cross. Not long after Smallmouth could feel the tied ropes being cut loose by firemen, their uniforms easily the best red clothes he had seen all night.
“What on God’s green Earth happened here son?” A bearded man with a dark hat and brown shirt and pants asked Smallmouth once he had been lowered down from the cross and sat on the ground with a shock blanket around his shoulders. The Sheriff, no doubt.
“God’s green Earth. It really is God’s, isn’t it?” Smallmouth whispered, staring out across the cold field. Then, at the very place he was staring, an old, familiar truck came barreling out of the gravel road in the woods and through the field in the steadily growing morning light. It was Uncle Chuck’s truck. It hurried over toward the other emergency vehicles, parked, the driver’s side door burst open, and Uncle Chuck came bounding out over to Smallmouth, his eyes wide and his mouth a wonderfully shocked “O”.
“JEREMY! JEREMY!!!” He basically fell on Smallmouth in a tight, warm hug. Smallmouth was caught off guard by Chuck using his real name.
His Uncle held him for several seconds and then let up, but kept his hands on Smallmouth’s shoulders.
“I thought you were dead.” Both of them said at almost the exact same time.
“I came back and your house was a mess and there was blood everywhere. I thought you were dead.” Smallmouth weakly spat out.
“Well, I woke up and you were gone, son, so I walked to the ranch to get my truck. I was worried bout ya son. I came back home and the whole place had been turned upside down. Blood on the carpet. I just thought the worst. Then I tried my neighbors house. Buddy, they’re dead. Looks like some wacko murder-suicide if I ever saw one. Scott probably tried to come kill us too and wrecked the place when he found it empty. I don’t know. But what I DO know is that you are right here! You are okay Jeremy!! Ahhh Praise Jesus!!”
“It’s not that, Uncle. That isn’t what happened out here. It’s..it was a..a, uh…”
Smallmouth’s fried brain couldn’t even comprehend what he had witnessed over the past few hours. It was all a violent blur.
“Dont worry bout it son, you can tell me everything on the way to the hospital. We gotta go get you checked out and cleaned up. C’mon.” He helped Smallmouth up and they walked over to the ambulance, his Uncle’s arm thrown around his shoulder.
Smallmouth would be sent home later that afternoon. It would take him and his Uncle a long time to sort through the chaos of that deadly night and rebuild their lives. But life kept on. Smallmouth would remain living with his Uncle, and would begin a job working with him down at the ranch. Together they started to attend a local church. Smallmouth never touched a drink or a drug or even a cigarette ever again, and remained steadfast in his newly revitalized faith.

Since new rulebooks dropped, it was only a matter of time before I went with a magnifying glass over these! Since I previously covered these errors in my larger list a couple years ago (Compilation of every erromistake/contradiction/etc., that I can find in the 'current' rulebooks. ), I will also compare and see what was fixed (in strikethrough), what is still there, and what is new (in bold). If there is an old error I missed the first time, there will be a * in front of it.
Base Game's 5-6 Player:

• Format error: At the bottom of page 4, is a heading titled "Starting settlements and resources". However this isn't discussed until the start of page 6. Heading needs to be moved closer to its topic.
• *Image error: Page 2. You need to squint to see it, but Illustration B is showing THREE 12 Tokens! Gone/covered now
• Image error: Page 2 Page 4. You need to squint to see it, but the 2nd image STILL has Frame Extension pieces ('3-3' and '5-5') in the wrong spots. The extra 3:1 and 2:1 Wool ports are accidently swapped. Pretty egregious when the first image of Page 4 (showing the "Starting Set-Up for new 5-6 Players") has the Frame Extensions in the correct spots. Just a copy-past job from the previous version.

5-6 Seafarers

• *Format error: Page 3: Just before the Wonder Cards is the heading titled "Scenarios". However this isn't discussed until the start of the next page, 4. Heading needs to be move to the top of the next page.
• Format error: The images for the Wonder Cards were shifted up on page 3. However, the big blue box on page 4 was NOT shifted up. So the top edges of the Wonder Cards are now aligned with the text "The scenario diagram provides the board set-up". So if you take a scissor and cut out these cards (as intended), you will cut this sentence in half, along the horizontal.
• *Format error: Page 6, 8, 10, 12, 14, 18, 20, 22: "Terrain & Tokens" at the is not bolded. It now is Bolded.
• Missing Robber: Why is there no Robber on the maps for Scenarios 2, 3, 4, and 8? All fixed! They even added the Pirate for Scenario 1 (which I missed 3 years ago). They also have the Robber on a 12-Hills now. Interesting change? Or new error?

1. For Scenario 2, regular Seafarers says to put the Robber on the 12 Token. However, in the extension, there are two to choose from (12-Fields and 12-Pasture). Which one? Apparently, the 2-Pasture hex
2. For Scenario 3, regular Seafarers says to put the Robber on the 12 Token. However, in the extension, the Desert is reintroduced. So should the Robber go there instead? Or 12-Mountain/12-Hills hex? Robber is on the Desert.
3. For Scenario 4 and 8, I suppose it doesn't matter which Desert the Robber starts on. Just odd there is no marker here, but there IS a Robber marked for Scenario 5. Inconsistent.

• Image error: Page 11 (Fog Islands map). The 3-Mountain hex looks weird. The mountains is misaligned with the hex, the internal image is rotated 30 degrees (I think) Twisted back into place!
• Image error: Page 13 (Through the Desert map). The instructions on page 12 indicate 11 Harbors are used, but the map only shows 10. Looking at the 4th Edition map, and Catan Universe's version today, the Harbor by the 12-Pasture somehow got dropped.
• Image error: Page 13 (Through the Desert map). The 'foreign area' are missing red outlines, like the 3-4 player version has. More liberties will need to be taken by the players, if they want to make a variable map.
• *Format error: Page 16: Harbors at the top isn't bolded.
• Incorrect component count or Image error: Page 16 or 17 (Cloth for Catan). The first page says there are 11 Harbors (like many other scenarios). However, the map on the other page shows 12 Harbors. A new harbor was added by the 8-Wheat hex, onto the lower-right frame. I am unsure which page is incorrect, since previous Editions didn't have a harbor there, but the current Extension includes an extra 2:1 Wool (as normal), and a 6th 3:1 port (for a total of 12 Harbors in Seafarers).
• *Typo: Page 18: The # 26, for describing how many Sea hexes, accidently has a bunch of dots in between 2 and 6
• Image Error: A Robber is erroneously added to the middle desert island. THERE IS NO ROBBER FOR THIS SCENARIO.
• Incorrect component count: Page 22. The count for the # tokens are off for multiple reasons:

1. Adding up all the tokens equals 40, when the total below says 39. Since there will be 39 resource producing hexes, there is an extra # token in the count above.
2. However, the Base Game's 5-6 extension only has 28 tokens, while Seafarers adds 10 more (total 38). This implies a # token should be taken from the Base Game, so the rulebook should make that clear
3. Related to that, it says there should be 5 copies of the 5-9 tokens. This is impossible, since Base 5-6 + SF should have 3 copies of 2 and 12, 4 of everything else. Again, implying more tokens from the Base Game need to be taken, but it never states this.

5-6 Cities & Knights: No mistakes! It is STILL clean!!!
5-6 Traders & Barbarians

• Image errors?: Page 3+4. The frame setup is completely different than normal. The frame extension pieces are also in different positions. Instead of the usual setup (from the top, clockwise):

1. '6-1'>'1-2'>'2-2'>'2-3'>'3-3'>'3-4'>'4-5'>'5-5'>'5-6'>'6-6'>; page 3 instead displays (from top-left, clockwise):
2. '6-1'>'2-2'>'1-2'>'3-3'>'3-4'>'2-3'>'6-6'>'4-5'>'5-5'>'5-6'>. If this is supposed to be intentional, the rulebook should either state this (or be more specific), or make the image bigger, since I had to squint to see the different layout.
3. Also, if the different frame setup is intentional, why not show T&B's version of the '5-6' frame piece (with the missing coast)?

• Formatting error: Top of Page 4. The line for the 'Additional Components' looks... off. Not lined up with the rest of the text below.
• Component List mistake: Page 5, the Castle Hex is incorrectly labeled as a Oasis hex!
• Image error?: Page 5+6. While the frame mostly follows the 'new' layout in pages 3+4, there is now a 2nd '4-5' frame, replacing the '2-3' frame in the bottom-right corner. While technically possible, since T&B does have its own version of '4-5' (with missing coastline), the image does not reflect the artwork, copying the base game's '4-5' piece twice. Again, the rulebook make no written mention of the new frame order.
• Image error?: Page 9 Page 10: While the rulebook finally gives some instruction regarding the frame, curious why the image doesn't show T&B's version of the '5-6' frame piece (with the missing coast)?
• Image errocontradiction: Page 10 Page 9. The instructions say the regular Quarry and Glassworks hexes may not have Settlements built on the corners that only border the frame (ocean), only the 4 intersections that border other hexes (the new Quarry and Glassworks from T&B's extension don't have this restriction). However, the image is showing possible Settlement locations on all 6 corners, for both the new and old trade hexes. Either the image is mistaken, or the instructions are.
• Contradiction/Inconsistency: Page 9 states that Player 2 may NOT use Gold Coins to purchases resources. This is in contrast with previous scenarios, which state you can. In addition, later in the rulebook, where the various Player 1/Player 2 actions are summarized, Page 12 says Player 2 CAN use Gold Coins to buy resources!
• Component List mistake: Page 11 Page 10, Card Deck Manifest. The total count for the 5th scenario's Development cards should say 12, not 26; and the total count for the Baggage Train cards should say 10, NOT 21. These incorrect totals are copied from regular T&B.

5-6 Explorers & Pirates

• *Image error: The image showing the "Catan 5-6 Player Extension Pieces" sorting tile is showing resource cards with 4th Edition graphics! (I doubt the real Sorting Tile has this error. I hope not)
• Missing words?: Page 2,3,4,5. The second sentence of each page says "The two hexes in the illustration marked 'Green Back' and 'Orange Back' must be taken...". Shouldn't it instead say "The two sets of hexes..."? It does now :)
• Component List mistake: Page 2. The hexes shown for the Orange Sun side are accidently copied over from the Green Moon side. To further explain:

1. The terrain hexes from regular E&P should show 2 Fields hexes, and 1 of everything else. Instead its showing 2 Mountain hexes (which is only correct for the Green Moon side)
2. The terrain hexes from E&P's extension should be Mountain-Pasture-Hills. Instead its showing Mountain-Forest-Fields (again, only correct for the Green Moon side)

• Missing rule?: Page 6. The Paired Players summary chart doesn't mention using Gold Coins to buy resources, for neither Player 1 or 2. I suppose you can infer both can use Gold Coins, I only bring this up since T&B bothers to mention Gold Coins.

So to summarize:

1. Base Game Extension: Originally 2 errors, 1 was fixed, 1 was added
2. Seafarers Extensions: Originally 12 errors. 9 were fixed, 2 were added
3. C&K Extension: Never had errors, none were added :)
4. T&B Extension: Originally 9 errors. 1 was fixed, and 1 was added >:(
5. E&P Extension: Originally 3 errors. 1 was fixed, 1 was added.

In the end, I'm a little disappointed. The only extension rulebook that saw any real improvement was SF. I wasn't planning on buying any Extensions until the rules were updated with the new Paired Players system. But... maybe I'll just have to wait for the 6th Edition, in 2030. :(
I shouldn't be so hard on them, as I missed several errors myself the first time around. Even some of my own errors in my original list (fixed now). But I'm just some bored shmuck doing this in my free time. I'd expect more from a corporation.