My ex left me for another girl which he already knew before so that sucked the most. But the first few weeks they started talking I’d catch him look at my stories despite us not following each other until one day he randomly blocked me. 2 months later (3 months so far of no contact) i’d catch him unblock and reblock me often until he unblocked me for good but this time he started re looking at all of my stories even tho I wouldn’t lurk at him anymore. Yesterday his new girl had a performance and he came to see her and brought her flowers. I found out because she posted it on her story (his new girl blocked me too out of nowhere) but her friend reposted it so I was able to see it and saw that he was tagged under the flowers she got. And I felt terrible I don’t know why. I already know he isn’t a good person but it hurt me because he never really did that for me. But you know what the worst part is? After him and her spent that day together because of her performance and after she got her flowers from him and everything I saw that he looked at my brand new stories again after a week and after spending his day with her? I don’t know what’s going on. Also at the same time I don’t know if they are officially together because he has never posted about her at all, like not a picture or anything but she has (which is how i found out he got her flowers) I already knew they were talking to each other because I’d see them walk together in the hallways but that’s about all. Please give me advice how I can move on.

I have a child from a previous relationship and her mother can be to put it nicely, demanding and manipulative. I met my gf 6 months ago. She the greatest thing since my child was born. But over these 6months my child's mother has, continuously called (up to 350 times in 2 hours), treated my gf, threatened me, told me she'll text her to say I cheated on her and many many more. And today was too for her. She called me one and I answered to tell her about our child night since she slept over last night. And she proceeded to ask about breakfast I said she had a pancake at a diner and she didn't finish it so l put it in a box. I told her she left it in my car but l'll bring it over later. She then yelled at the top of her lungs how she can't eat it now and that l'm a horrible human being for suggesting that. I hang up I can see my gf getting mad. So I don't answer the following 7. After our outing to the science center she told me she was done. She said she though she was blocked and that she can't take this back and fourth any more. I told her that I'm sorry forever and that she is blocked but she called from a NO CALLER ID so I can't block that. She asked me to pull over in the raid and she'll walk home. I told her no let me bring you to the house. She opened the door while I was driving and after that I relented. I asked her to talk and she said no don't talk to me. She went inside right after me before I could talk her down, l've been In the most of rain for three hours now. I left and bought her flowers. And her favorite candy but she won't come to the door or even unblock me. I know it takes time and whatn I need to show her how sorry I am. Idk what to an. spinning out of control.

For context, my bf (22M) had broken up with his ex (21F) a year before he met me because she was going abroad for uni. They decided to stay friends but she eventually blocked him when she left.
Me (20F) and my bf met two months before I went abroad for uni (another country than his ex lol). I told him this immediately and we agreed to get into a relationship to eventually break up in two months.
It was a great relationship, he was a loving partner and he always spoiled me with affection.
We broke up the day before I left and decided to stay friends.
During our break we both dated other people but when I came back to visit my home country for christmas we decided to get back together. We told each other about everyone that we dated while we were on our break.
He then told me that him and his ex had met, without him telling me about it, while we were still together (about a week before we broke up) because she told him that she was in a bad situation. She had just gotten out of a toxic relationship and had nobody to talk to except him. She told him that her toxic ex made her block him. He consoled her but when she said that she missed him and had feelings for him, he told her that he had no feelings for her, that he had a girlfriend and showed her my picture.
At the time I didn’t think much of it and honestly felt sorry for her.
We agreed to do a long distance relationship and I eventually left for my second semester. One day I got curious and searched my bf’s ex on instagram. I saw that he had liked all of her posts that were posted while we were on our break and he was still following her. I had this gut feeling that there was something going on.
When I came back to my home country for summer break, my bf greeted me with flowers as always. One day while we were hanging out I playfully asked if I could check his phone. He said no, which is fine but I found this odd as he never hid his phone around me and I was under the impression that he was already telling me everything that was going on in his life. When I told him this he said okay and showed me his text histories on all of his social media.
We came across his dms with his ex, though I didn’t look through what they talked about. I asked him why he was still in contact with his ex after she told him that she still had feelings for him. He said that they were just friends and that they hadn’t even talked that much. She asked if he wanted help with learning english and occasionally said let’s meet up. He once told her that she looked better after the bad state she was in. That was it.
I told him that I was uncomfortable with him talking to her still when he knew that she had feelings for him. He said okay, apologized and unfollowed her in front of me.
Something still didn’t feel right.
The next day I asked to meet him and asked him why he didn’t tell me that he met up with his ex while we were still together. He told me that he was afraid that I would misunderstand it at the time given that our relationship wasn’t that serious since we would break up in a week. I asked him if he had told her that we broke up when we did. He told me that he didn’t remember. I asked to see their messages. He said no. I told him that I had a bad feeling and couldn’t go on with our relationship if I didn’t see their texts.
He then showed me. He had replied to her story saying that she had gained weight and that her cheeks looked cute. Then there was a conversation where he asked when she was coming back and asked if she wanted to meet up. Another one where they talked about her toxic ex. And that’s all I saw until he snatched his phone from my hand. I immediately got up, started crying and told him I was breaking up with him.
He said they were just friends and that that’s how he speaks to all his friends. He said that she was in a bad state and had nobody to talk to (which was straight bs btw). He said that I wasn’t even with him when they talked (which was true but apparently they texted on whatsapp as well but he deleted the texts because his conservative dad looked at them and got mad, so I’m not sure) and that they hadn’t talked since.
The next day I blocked, then unblocked him on instagram. And he had followed his ex again. I waited and checked, and he had unfollowed her again.
He texted me that day saying that he didn’t do anything wrong and that he just wanted to be there for his friend. He said that he was torn that we were breaking up and that he will never forget me. I asked him why he followed his ex immediately after I broke up with him then. He said that it was because she was his friend but he then decided to unfollow her when he reconsidered the situation because it didn’t feel right. He also removed all of his likes from her posts.
We texted for two days. He eventually apologized for breaking my trust and that even though she was his friend it was disrespectful to me. He told me that I was the most precious thing in his life and he was an idiot for losing me. I told him that I still didn’t forgive him and that I needed time. He said that he would respect my decision no matter what
Any advice? I love him so much but I feel like I can’t trust him anymore.
TLDR My bf met with his ex while still with me, then stayed in contact with her while we were broken up only to tell me this when we decided to get back together. I then found out that he was talking in a flirtatious during the break and tried to meet up with her. He apologized but idk what to do, any advice?

SYNOPSIS: Walking your OP monster girlfriend home is easy. No one messes with you. Getting back to your house on your own? That's the tricky part.
What's worse than an eldritch building? How 'bout a bigger one?
First Previous (See NEXT>> in comments)
Chapter Cover Art (From Mood Writing Sample)
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Norman took one look at the towering building to his left. Then he took off.
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“̷̵̵̷̶̷̶̶̸̶̶̸̴̡̛̮͉̹̪̼̙̤̲̤͔̗̮̥̣̜͓̟̞̃̔̈́̑̈̍͌̂̂̐̋͛̉̓G̵̶̸̷̴̸̵̵̴̶̸̷̸̴̶̨̢̧̞͈̠̜̳̪͎̬̜̱̫͚̝̩̑̒͐́͆̃̿̉̆̉̃̓̀̎̐͂̎̒̕̕͘͝͝Ǵ̷̷̷̴̸̸̷̷̷̷̵̨̢̞̥͓̰͖͙̰̝͖̩̺͍͎͉͌̽̂́͐̓̀͒̐͗́M̴̷̶̵̴̷̵̶̵̴̷̷̢̡̧̢̛̫̲͕͇̗̯͚̥͙͓͓̀̒͑͒̂̊̅̐͛̂̄͌̈̚͝M̴̷̶̵̴̷̷̶̷̬̼̭̗͍̺̳̩̱͍̂̄̾͂̔̽̇̀͝͝͝͠M̶̯̙̥͕̞̰̗̗͐̔!̸̞̞̬̼̖̩̈́̇͊͐̾͑͋̉!̷̧͈̘̬̆͑͝!̶̤̜̔̓̆̅̔͆͘͝”̸̨̧̼̭̫̒͜

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The new hunting cry boomed through his body. It was much louder than the first building’s, albeit shorter, like a tap on the shoulder from a titan proclaiming its presence to the world.
Of course, the tap of a titan could flatten a man.
Norman fell. His legs had simply stopped working. Jaws clenched, he forced his will into wobbly muscles. His palms slammed into the waterlogged street, stopping the fall. With a sharp push, he sprang back to his feet and ran on.
Norman yanked out the remaining two flash grenades on the go, strung them together, armed and drew back for a throw.
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“̷̬̳̙̍̎̆G̴̥͇̥͔͕̫̈̀M̵̛͇̜͙͇̫͔̭̩̝̜̓̈̏̓̓̀͛̚͜͝͝M̷̩͈͉̘͙̿͌̃̽͂̃̏̏̓̾̈́͌̈́̉̅̄̉͘!̷̢̧̢̤͓̭̖̝̏̏̄̓̾̉̆͋͘͝!̵͍̱̼̮̯̺̲͙̖̮̗͓̻̓̊͂̒̔͐̎͘͘̚!̵̙͍̟̌͒̃͂̎͠”̶̡̛̠̱̭̞̹̟͉̒̎̎̂͂̐̈́̓̄̚̕

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That quick boom pounded through him. His fingers faltered. The flash grenades slipped from his grip and fell. He was still recovering from the sound when they went off at his feet. The nightsight filtered the flash, so he didn’t go blind. He’d gutted the flash grenade’s speakers, so he didn’t go deaf. The peeping building could deafen him all on its own … no, this wasn’t a peeping building. He’d slew a peeping building. They were small fries by comparison.
This was an eyescraper.
Tentacles the width of busses unsheathed from its sides. Even if he’d managed to launch the grenades and bathe it in smitelight, he suspected that wouldn’t be enough.
Norman sliced at its eyes with a focused beam. It barely flinched. Maybe if it got close enough, he could affect it a bit. By then, it would be too late.
Throbbing chuffs thundered from the monster. It sounded like a laugh.
Norman shot it a defiant glare. He bolted. Not fast enough. He could feel the giant closing in. So, he moved faster. Then faster, and still faster. His muscles blared their warnings. Rain lashed his face. He felt the air begin to resist his movements as he reached a speed at which it mattered. It was in his way, so he pushed through it too. No one was there to tell him he was moving far faster than any human known to history. All he cared about was hearing that thing fall behind him, and so it did. The tremours of its tremendous movements grew fainter.
At the end of the street, an apartment building came into view. Norman threw himself against it, climbing with the reckless abandon of a madman. He was halfway to the top.
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“̷̧̨̭̹̘̥̮͖̤̻̥̬̌̀͒̔͌̊̀̚͜͜͠Ǧ̶̨̨̧̺̘̰̗̘̥̝̗̦̩͖͎͋̈͑͐̒̽̉̔͛̾̒́̕ͅM̴̨̉́̾̉͂͆̔̿̀̃̇̎̍͆̂̽͗̔͘͠ͅM̷̝̻̱̆̍͜!̴̮̬̯̮̦̖́͂̆͋̿̇̎̄̄̅̂͑̎̀̕͘͝͝͝!̸̲͎̲̼̠̮̱͖̥̭̤̩͓̘̜͈̟̖̮̰̦͖̀̂͗͂̽̈́̋͌͂̐̓̈̕!̸̜̆̿̋̔̽̕”̷̢̦̜̰̼̳̝͓̆͗̈́̆̆̑̃̾͑̀͗͒͆́͐͒̈́̿̽̕̕͜

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His grip went limp. He fell. Struck the ground. His head bounced. The world grew fu...z z y.
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W
h
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w
a
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h
e
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r
u
n
n
i
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g
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a
g
a
i
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_CHAT

• LEMMY.OUTA.HERE: (Stupse) Well, he ded.
• BAJANETTE11: ARN74, JUST GO AND FIND HIM!!!
• ARN74: HE DIDN’T SEND ME DE PIN! DIS BAAARE STRESS! NORMAN, YOU PUNK! YOU EMOTIONALLY INVESTED ME IN THIS CHANNEL! IF YOU DIE NOW I’M GONNA KILL YOU!

Something was yapping in the background, but it wasn’t important. He felt fine. Everything was fine. Why not rest? Why was he even-?

_CHAT

• ARN74: YOU PROMISED ME YOU WOULDN’T LEAVE AMY!!

What? No he didn’t! Promises weren’t for trolls! Why would he leave Amy anyway?
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“̸̼͔̖̜̫͍͚̊́̽͆̓̂̋̋͐̕Ģ̴̢͕͉̯̺̗̖͔͙̪͓̻̯̫̭̙̱͕̠̭̩̌M̸̨̧̘̟̹̖̻̲͍̭͓͉̰͙̦̣̜͉̻̎̅͗̇̈́̈̏͌̓̾̀̈̈́͜M̵̢̢̖̯̦͍͕̝̯̥̹̪̠̥̰̝̖̊͛̀̇͜!̵̢̡̡͚͕̘̟͕̥̦̪͆̈́̿͆!̴̛̹͈̜̥͔̬͎̪̩͚̦̯̟̘̩̰̳̍̑̂́̌͌̎́̒͋̽̿̑͌͝͝!̴̛̥͕̪͂̂̂̈̓͆͗̇̄̈́̌̅̎͂̕̚̕͝͠”̷̧̧̛̠̝̰̞̘͙̥̖͎̭̞̜̳̟̓͆̌̊̃̔́͒͋̇̈́͘̚͠͝ͅ
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Oh, right. There was a skyscraper running him down. To think he lived in a world where that made any sense. He rubbed his throbbing head. It was hard to think, though.

_CHAT

• ARN74: TRY AN CLIMB DE TING OPPA!

Brain fog would have to wait.
In two twos he jumped onto the side of the building and kept going up and up without breaking the momentum of the leap. Adrenaline had challenged gravity. Gravity lost. There was no pause to assess handholds. There was no rain stinging his face. In his mind, there was only ‘CLIMB, CLIMB, CLIMB!’ Crest the rooftop. ‘RUN, RUN, RUN!’ Descend the other side ‘JUMP!’ Gravity greedily reclaimed Norman, dragging him 4 storeys down at breakneck speed. He hit the ground in a parkour roll. Bruised a bone. Nearly fractured a shoulder. Wrenched his spine. Joints, muscle, ligaments almost popped. They didn’t.
He was running again.
Norman had never heard a building shred like paper. He’d never thought to wonder what it sounded like.
*( ( BMMM! ) ) ( ( BMM! ) ) ( ( BOOM! ) ) \*

SHHHHHRRRRRRMMMM!

Now he knew.
Those booms … was it the eyescraper’s tentacles breaking the sound barrier, or punching holes through the apartment building? Maybe both. It didn’t matter. What mattered was that it was tearing the building in two with the ease of one parting curtains. Buildings were not designed to be parted. Two became legions as the sundered building collapsed.
Norman rushed for an abandoned truck, slid beneath the trailer. Not quite fast enough. Most of the rubble didn’t reach him directly, but upon hitting the ground? It pulverised into a blast of cloud like a sandstorm. Hissing beneath the trailer, the dust stung at his ankles. He ignored it, racing for the truck’s cabin at the front. Perched on the step beneath the door, he braced as the dust raced beneath, around and above him. The cabin was his shield. He flinched to a duck when its windows shattered as the dust cloud blasted straight through them. The truck rocked and slid slightly, bombarded by wind and dust. It lurched as a chunk of debris finally reached it, crumpling the trailer like cheap foil.
Time to move.
Particles prickled Norman’s eyes, finding their way through the nightsight. He took a fresh glimpse of the path ahead before clouds of grey engulfed it all.
Memorised.
He dashed on. A split second later, the cabin was levelled under a larger slab of concrete. More sporadically thundered down around him. His eyes were squeezed shut, denying entry to any more particles. He scrambled through the street, dodging obstacles from memory. As for the concrete rainfall that couldn’t be seen? He had some prayers about that, but it probably came out like half-baked gibberish.
Norman chanced opening his eyes. They watered like crazy. At least most of the dust was gone. Behind him, the eyescraper’s menacing silhouette was picking through the rubble. Finally, an unblocked street was in sight. He rounded the corner.
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“̵̨̢̮͕̻̲̺́͠G̵̣̒́̓̽̅̊͘͝Ọ̷̝̣͓͙͔̀ͅͅǪ̷̜̺͚̲̯̭̈́̍͂͑̋̋̅͂̅́M̷̨̤̭͈̯̤͋̾̏̈̅̉̀̏͘M̵̡̢̙̱͌̊̓͒́͌Ḿ̸̳͗̀̀͐͒͗́͠ͅ!̷͍͉̣̪̫͙̳̲̤̎̀̾̅̈́̔̎̑͘͜͝͝!̴̨͈͖̘̖̅͛̋̽͠!̸͎̩͓̫̥̼̫̊”̵̫̗̞̣̝̃̅̕͘͜͜͝ͅ
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Another peeping building, rumbling in from the new street. Alright. Straight it was.
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“̷̢̧̻̹͚͔̾G̵̳̭̾̃̎̍̌̂̈́̂͛͘M̶̧̠͇͔͚͉̮͈̰͒͊́̏̔̄̾̊͐̒͂͜M̸̳͓̋͋̔͑̔̔̕͝Ő̷͓̟̱̮͓̍̂̾̽̇͘͠Ô̸̧̫͉̮͚̥̥̯̈̾͋̅͂͘̚M̶̢̫̥̰̮̪͙̬̙̗̺̽͒͐͌̋̈̄͆͝M̴̢̧̧̛̗͔͓̫̭̳̱͑̉!̵̡̛̛͍̲̓̅̑̈́̿̏͘̕͠!̸̧̖͔̣̩̏́͋̀͛͂̏̀̇̑͐!̴̧͕̝̮̤̱͈̬͋”̸͓̉̈́̑̎͊̌
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Maybe not. A third building emerged from the rainfall ahead. All streets blocked. He glanced about. All alleys still blocked. This really was a hunting net, but this much energy for a tiny human? Predators weren’t usually like this.
He ran for the nearest building that wasn’t occupied by eldritch calamari.

( ( BOOMM! ) )

The eyescraper’s tentacle crossed his path. Its supersonic shockwave sent him flying.
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Norman came to. Rain poured against his face as he lay on his back. How long was he out? Why was it so cold? The atmosphere didn’t quite feel right. It didn’t look right either. Something about the colours, or subtle lack thereof. Everything seemed a bit desaturated. Norman sat up and coughed his lungs out, evicting a mix of dust and rain water collected in his slackly gaping mouth. Buildings towered above him on every side, a bit too close for comfort.
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“̸̮̼͍̻̯̲̹͓̬̻̓̍G̷̛̖̙̰̰̟̓Ḿ̸̧̨͊̊̔͒͌̆͆͘͠͝M̷̧̺̏̿̆͑͆͋̅͌̕͝G̵̰̺͇̺̯̲͇̠͖͂͜M̸̡̨͕̹̗̥̎͑́̾!̸͇͙͚̝̩͕̙̒!̵͙̬̮̪̏̍!̶͔̪͉̙̘̃̐̄͝”̶̡̡̥̫̻̝̜̫͙̩͛ͅ

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Oh, right, those weren’t just buildings.
Norman raised a finger, gesturing to wait. “Could you *kaff!* quit subwoofin’ at me for, like, ten seconds!”
“Plucky.̵͚͐͝ for all seasons I .̵̦̺͐̅see,” came a skin-crawling voice from behind him.
Norman swung back his smitelight. It barely moved half a foot, then it stopped. Rather, something stopped it. That ‘something’ was cold. So cold. His wrist felt the chill without even touching it.
Norman turned, slowly, so as not to trigger further attacks. He found himself looking up.
Eight feet tall. Dark grey skin. A grin that went a little too wide. Dagger teeth. An open-chested jacket, revealing sinewy muscles with luminous markings like tattoos. His ebony eyes bore penetrating white pupils. Of all his traits, the dreadlocks stood out most. They belonged in a nightmare, dancing through the air with a life of their own. Somehow, they looked blacker than black, absorbing every ray of light or heat that came their way. That icy chill in the air shifted with the movements of his dreadlocks. They seemed to drink life from the air itself. Norman almost found it hard to breathe. One dreadlock clutched Norman’s smitelight, only by the tip, but its grip was iron.
Norman stared the tall man down.
The nyctal’s grin grew by a smidgeon.
Taking a calculated risk, Norman released the smitelight. Perhaps a peace offering would do good.
“Good.̷̧͋͌̎̿ boy,” the tall man nodded, admiring the smitelight as the dreadlock rotated it. “Clever.̴̧̤̩͈͓̖͂ͅ toy.”
Norman noted an understated Jamaican accent in his voice.
More dreadlocks slithered across the smitelight, as if tasting its every nook and cranny.
Norman did his best to look casual as he scanned for an escape route. The eyescraper’s tentacles had wrapped around the street, fencing him in.

_CHAT

• BAJANETTE11: 😳
• DARCIE222: okay, i’m back
• HARD-BACK-M8N: who you is again?
• DARCIE222: i left after the twilight angel sleep paralysis
• LEMMY_OUTA_HERE: And you’re back for more?
• DARCIE222: wonna know it impossible to stay away from a channel like dis

Norman looked at the tall nyctal again.

_CHAT

• DARCIE222: 😲 WHO IS THAT?!? AND WHY IS HE KIND OF …??? 😍
• MUNSTER-VERSER: I KNOW!!!
• BAJANETTE11: HE LIKE A VAMPIRE RASTA MAN! ❤❤❤
• ENTO_MOLLY: MOVE OVER MIGUEL O’HARA!! 😍🥰😘
• BAJANETTE11: NORMAN ASK FOR HE NUMBER!!!
• NORMAN: I HERE ABOUT TO DIE AND WONNA WANT HE PHONE NUMBER!?!

The nyctal’s eyes shifted to Norman inquisitively. He frowned, raising an eyebrow as the comments piled up. Finally, he smirked mischievously.
“Your fanbase has peculiar tastes,” purred the tall man.

_CHAT

• ENTO_MOLLY: 😳 Is … he talking about us? HE CAN SEE THE CHAT???
• DARCIE222: THE WAY HE SAID IT!!!
• DARCIE222: HBVJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJKL;K''
• LEMMY_OUTA_HERE: Did she just pass out on the keyboard?
• LIKKLE-BOY: lol!
• ARN74: you’re simping. Norman’s about to die, and you’re simping

The tall man handed Norman his smitelight.
Norman’s suspicious gaze flicked between the nyctal and the weapon. Finally, he reached out and took hold of the smitelight.
It crumbled in his fingers like ice-cold ashes. If not for the insulation gloves, he might have gotten frostbite.
The nyctal laughed.
Norman didn’t find it particularly amusing.
The tall man sauntered towards the eyescraper. Beyond it was a darkness even the nightsight had difficulty piercing. He beckoned Norman as if it were an afterthought.
“Please come in, .̵̭̻͌̓̂Norman.̶̲͕͇̅̑̚,” the nyctal instructed.
Norman stared stubbornly, hands in his pockets as he rocked on his heels. He felt for his smartphone. It wasn’t there. When had he lost it?
Without looking back, the nyctal held up Norman’s phone. It disintegrated between his fingers as he rubbed them together.
Norman glared. At least the guy hadn’t pickpocketed deeply enough to find other things.
“Hey. To whom do I owe the … pleasure?” Norman almost had to push the last word through his teeth.
The nyctal stopped in the eyescraper’s doorframe. Shrouded in shadow, little could be seen of him, save the piercing white pupils peering out. Then the glint of his Cheshire grin.
“.̴̜͓̭̻̤̍̈́̆͑͑John Crow.̸̻̮̓̈́̏̓͘,” he answered, before receding into the darkness.
The eyescraper’s tentacles dragged in across the street, corralling Norman towards the building. With an exasperated groan, he trudged towards the main entrance.
“I want my bed,” grumbled Norman.
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How can one find a scammer if you have his banking details and cell number (which he doesn't change, he just doesn't reply anymore even though he is still online everyday on whatsapp).
I can never understand how a scammer cannot be found with those details.
If I am a scammer and I bank at ABC bank and then scam someone into paying me, surely the police or a lawyer or someone should have that right to have my account freezed. Surely I will have to contact or go to the bank to have it unblocked so I can use my funds again.

I’ll spare you all of the nitty gritty - had a fiery hot breakup with a woman who deals with severe alcohol abuse problems. The intricacies of that I will be omitting.
A time line of events in the last week-
Sunday - I apologize for my wrong doings at the end of the brief relationship. No contact the remainder of the day. She comes directly to the bar spot I like to relax with friends that she never stepped foot in before meeting me, to use the restroom and leave and yell “fuck you”. Okay , whatever.
Monday - I begin receiving texts and calls from several numbers, mostly non threatening and mocking in nature. I consult police because I have an inherent belief some of these phone numbers (a couple of which I could true people search and figure out who they were) would intend to potentially hurt or threaten me. Police tell me I have to receive an inherent threat for them to act. I text the woman from a google voice number to politely ask for it to stop, and to not follow me to the place I like to go to be safe and have fun. Of course, I just get shit on.
Tuesday - I receive more and more texts and calls, spam calls, and a text message that is inherently threatening. Threatening to “86” me if I don’t “fall off”. I decide to have a conversation with one of the numbers that I knew the identity of to understand how my number was being spread. She had posted it in a group chat, which was then shared to a mass amount of people. I again show her the texts I’m receiving, ask her to stop distributing my phone number before I get a protective order. I Get shit on, no idea what you’re talking about, all that. Am told she would be getting a new phone number and that if I contacted her again she’d go to the police.
Fast forward
Friday - the texts and calls have mostly stopped. I clean my home, find a lot of her belongings , enough to not want to throw away. I made it clear I had no ill will towards her, that I don’t want anything to continue and hope the best for her and made that clear to her friends even with everything she did to me. I make sure she isn’t home, drop the bag off with her stuff, and leave promptly. She unblocks me to send a $1 Apple Pay to mock me with regard to something I said about small claims court because she owed me money. I unfortunately engage in conversation, entirely civil, tell her I have no issues with her nothing and say nothing but good things about her under the issues she faces. Made one disparaging comment about her alcohol abuse and throwing away everything good in her life with it, and hoping she gets better after she shit on me again. She later realizes I dropped the stuff off at her home, asks me to not show up unannounced, totally reasonable. I say I just did it because I was blocked on everything, was told a she’d be getting new number, and even if she didn’t I did not want to reopen the conversation.
Friday night - she shows up to the one bar spot, again, with a friend. Okay - I will avoid her, she’s doing this to get a reaction out of me, it is what it is. I’ll avoid her and go out back with my friends. She follows me, and sits directly behind me to continue bad mouthing me and making jokes to cause me stress. She is also wearing one of my shirts. I see in my phone I have yet another new text mocking me for a haircut. Truepeople search, lo and behold it’s the person she’s with, who she just gave my phone number to. She follows me again when I go back inside, at which point I speak to a police officer outside, tell him the situation, he seems supportive and removes them to speak with them outside. I finally think it’s over, whatever. Cop comes back to tell me “I can’t solve your problems, she’s saying you’re harassing her and showing up to her home unannounced, I asked them to leave you alone.” He was a prick about it. They come back in, continue to follow me, yell shit about me right behind me, and bring a big group of friends to do the same. While she constantly checks to see if I’m nearby because every time I moved, she’d follow.
I asked after the bar closed for the both of them to please leave me alone, politely, over text and one phone call that I was entirely civil during, once again get shit on. Bartender who I’m friends with told me he intended on kicking them out but was swamped, which he was, and they were in and out too much focused on following me anywhere I went in the bar.
Several people asked me if I was okay who were witnessing the whole thing all night.
With all of this, do I have the necessary evidence to have a protective order served against her?

So I'm not sure how to even go about telling this tale. It's something I've never even tried to do, not from the beginning, at least. I guess we'll start with how I first fell in love. I was young. 18. I'd never had a boyfriend, never had a boy look twice at me, at least to my knowledge. So my first love became the boy I was around so often. My brother's best friend at the time. Sick, I know. He was the first boy to ever show me affection. The first guy that ever made me feel sexy and beautiful. I fell slowly bit by agonizing bit. He held back for the longest time for a noble reason, I thought. He cared for me, but he and my brother were so close. I went down the route of okay, well, then let's just have sex. Nothing more. I was 18 and still a virgin. He would say things like, "I can't do that. I can't use you. I'd break you anyways you couldn't handle it." Funny, looking back, it was all its own little lore. Long story short, we finally had sex. Life moved forward, and I fell in love, and I thought maybe he was too. I was wrong. If you hadn't already guessed. I became a toy, for I'd say a year, maybe 2. Every day, I begged and asked, "Can't we just be together? You care about me. You say you do. So let's just be together. Let's tell everyone, " And each day I was met with a fight. "We're not together. We never will be!" Time went by, and this fight became the norm. And fights about me talking to other guys' fights about me not coming around when he wanted. I never got to come when I wanted. I only came when called. Like a dog. Again, time passed. The cycle continued. Drugs got involved, which only made things worse. I felt neglected. I talked to people everyone told me to move on. So I did every so slightly. I fucked my other brothers best friend. Great sister here. Trust me, I know. Of Crouse, the first guy found out, and things got crazy. he threatened me. I got scared and called my sister in law aka my very best friend. She saved me that night. And for my best guess, about 4 years, we never spoke he left me be. He moved on. after making my life mental torture for 2 years, it was like I disappeared. Which was fine, really better than you'd ever expect. my sister in law threatened him, of course, so maybe that had something to do with it, and he was intensely afraid of my brothers. And so again, time passed, and I dated other people. Nothing ever worked out. All of them as painful as last and just as filled with bad choices. All until one summer, he came back. Last summer, I was beginning again. Like I've done so many times. I was back at my first job again looking for a fresh start from the beginning. That's when I heard from him for the first time in a long time. My brother and he had stopped being friends maybe a year before. My brother called him manipulative and a dick to say the least. But when he contacted me, I felt things had changed. That he had finally changed and for the better. the fact he was contacting me again wanting me back, I thought it was fate. I'd be with my first love, the man who took everything from me, we'd get married and be together. The whole time yard's. Fucking stupid that's what I was. What I am.. We fell back together slowly but surly. I fell in love, and he got control. The summer passed in a wave of drugs. He never told me he loved me he never put forth any effort to be near my family. All he wanted was control over me. He shrunk away at the idea of coming to my home being near my brother he ex best friend and my roommate. Time passed, and I realized I wasn't much more than a bank for him. I'd forgotten to mention in the time we spent apart he hadn't worked for 4 years. His mom took care of it all. I did everything I could. I was there all the time I made food, I cleaned the house, and I kept his dog fed. I tried to show him everything. It never mattered. The only thing that mattered was how I "cheated" on him all those years ago. I had never thought of it as cheating seeing as he said we weren't together and loved to talk about how hot other girls were. He would bring up past relationships while he and I weren't together like I got with these people just to antagonize him. So as summer went on, I got exhausted. So fucking exhausted how do you show someone you love them when all they see are the faults? He well really I can't just blame him, but we drained my bank account buying drugs. I got tired of it, and I left. I told him to leave me, be that I was done being used. This was around Thanksgiving. He didn't take it well. I blocked him after about the 30th message. That didn't stop him he messaged through friends Facebook or with their phone numbers. I blocked so many people. But it didn't stop the messages kept coming. And so by Christmas, I caved. Don't know why he'd admitted to coming out and driving by my house told me how he could see my Christmas tree in my window. And still I caved. Because who would do this for someone they didn't love? Who would keep trying for someone they wanted to treat badly? I got my answer. I went back only to be accused of cheating and lying. He'd call me a bitch and whore and a cunt. He'd done all this in the messages, too, before the begging started. I should've listened and not fallen for the begging. But he'd tell me all I wanted to hear how he loved me and wanted to be with me wanted my kids. So I fell for this over and over and over again. Until not long ago just a few months I tried to leave, and we got into a fight. I wanted to go with him to ride with his friends. He didn't want me to. Would've been fine with that honestly but as soon as he saw I was disappointed the fight started. I tried to leave his home. we yelled his neighbors threatened to call the police. I ran he hit my car tried to yank the doors open. Once I finally thought I'd gotten away he started chasing me. Chased me down his road at probably 70 in a 45 mind you and swerved in front of me almost wrecking us both. He proceeded to get out of the car ignoring me sobbing and started screaming at me through the window and asking me to come back. Once I agreed he proceeded to do burnouts in front of me. I followed him back he took me riding with his friends I got what I wanted in the end I guess. But after this I got scared. If you can do that what else can you do? I left again not long later because it just didn't seem to matter what I did. nothing was enough. I left I blocked him. It wasn't enough he found ways to contact me. And today he contacted family of mine to get ahold of me. He waited out near my house by a restaurant and followed me home. I ran I didn't know what to do I didn't want him and my brother to get into a fight because no matter what, I still somehow care about him. He stopped me in the middle of the road wouldn't leave until I agreed to unblock him and to give him a hug. I feel disgusting he kissed me. I want him to leave me alone. I know this is my fault I led him on again and again by coming back. I just wanted him to change. I wanted him to love me. I just wasn't enough and I won't be ever. Why won't he just let me go? He could move on and find someone new to use. I know I have a problem too I've gone back again and again and made it normal for him. I just want to be free now though this has gone on so long. I know he doesn't love me I just don't know how he can say it when he doesn't. I'm not sure what I'm really asking for here maybe validation or maybe just encouragement that I'm doing the right thing. I coukd go into more detail really he's done so much to me but it's hard looking back. I just I really need to know that me leaving is the right thing.

Hello everyone, I have been addicted to pornography since I was 8 years old and it's only gotten worse and has taken a stranglehold on my life, I have struggled with hypersexuality and pornography for years (I fully orgasm 7+ times a day) with my addiction and now I think I found a way to rid myself of this once and for all.
Reddit is my last weak link, when I block Reddit for good, there will be ZERO loopholes for my hypersexual mind anymore. First let's start off with personal computers and laptops, for my PC I use ColdTurkey blocker and it's the best blocker you can get IF you use it with NextDns. You can't uninstall it and I locked my BIOS behind a password I can't even remember so I can't even reset my laptop anymore to overcome Cold Turkey Blocker. But remember, NextDns is VERY important along with a few others apps I will show you.
With the blockers on I can't even visit the website OR turn NextDns off! My porn addiction has gotten so strong that I have even blocked all search engineson my laptop, so I have to search on my phone using the safe SPIN browser.
I have multiple AI threat driven detection blockers and third party blockers installed within NextDns and it works great! I can ONLY get around it when I have a passcode to get around it, the website to NextDns is blocked with cold turkey blocker with a secure password I don't have access to. I had to turn it off temporarily to install an app for work.. I relapsed but I am getting back on my feet and will continue my journey to be clean from this dopamine addiction.
Blocks browsers, websites, everything you'd want blocked. ColdTurkey
Setup some passwords and store them somewhere not readily accessible or you can create a timer within the app and you won't be able to unblock, uninstall, nothing without the password or until block expires.
And for Android, "App block" is by FAR the best app you can use to block websites, downloads, applications from opening, and even keywords in the URL! Pincode to unlock the app, pincode to turn off blocks, and another to unblock strict mode... Very secure and you can keep multiple codes away where you can forget about them. Like at a friend's house or somewhere you can't easily get to.
These measures have worked for the most part really, really well! I had to unblock certain things for my new job so I can install apps and I fell back into my old habits... But since I don't need to install anything else, I am about to setup my blocks again. Combined with SPIN browser and my NextDns filters absolutely NOTHING can get through, only through me stealing someone's computer or phone can I access pornography now.
With Appblock I have used it constantly with free wifi, wifi at home, etc.. and the safeguards, AI driven detection, etc.. works fine. I can't disable it either with the Appblock or go into my phone settings without a password once I have everything set up.
I can't explain it but once you get it set up it really works great. With NextDns you can also block any top level domains easily, .to .de .cc .wf .av etc... The AI monitoring blocks sites as well, There's free blacklists that are awesome, all you gotta do is press any of them and it's added, All for only $1.99/mo.
In addition to that, you can block websites manually too by adding them to the deny list. Combine this with cold turkey blocker or SPIN browser & Appblock and it's a good enough deterrent that will be a 100% deterrent once I block Reddit. Reddit has too much info on how to bypass blocks such as search engines you have never even heard of.
So, goodbye reddit! I'm focusing on my mental healing from the years of scarring myself with hours long porn binges that last well into the early morning simply because my body can't help itself, I didn't ask to be born hypersexual but I am sick of porn and my addiction to it because it's ruining my life
Lookup SPIN browser on Google play
Here's Appblock https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=cz.mobilesoft.appblock
Here's cold turkey blocker https://getcoldturkey.com/
And here's NextDns https://nextdns.io/

DO NOT COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS. I am NOT OP. Original post by u/OddDot5178 in AITAH
trigger warnings: possible transphobia, possible mental health issues, manipulation
​
NOTE: Because everyone will wonder, I am addressing this right now. While OOP's child identifies as non-binary, she uses "she/her" pronouns and presents as a female. This is why OOP refers to her as her daughter.

AITAH For Not Wanting To Raise My NB Daughter's Baby? - Feb 7, 2024
My daughter came to me at 16 and said she was non-binary, but only sometimes. Like, some days she would feel more male than female and some days she would feel like neither. She wanted me to ask her every day what day it was and then refer to her as that pronoun of the day.
I told her that wasn’t going to fly. Growing up, I spent a lot of time on LJ (Livejournal) during the ol’ ‘bun-self’ and ‘zen-self’ ‘zir-self’ days. People who think this is new to this generation are fooling themselves. I told her that I would call her the pronoun she wanted, and do my best to remember it day to day, but she was going to have to tell me what she wanted for that day. I wasn’t going to play a daily guessing game.
This went on for about a week or two until she finally seemed to grow tired or bored and just said I could call her ‘her’. Though she still identifies as non-binary. Fine. (At least when it was going on she wanted ‘she, he, or they’ — I’m sorry but I couldn’t have done fox-self/fox-them with a straight face).
So that’s the pronoun story and looking back where I think things started to go off the handle. Here’s my real question.
My daughter is now 18, pregnant, and seems to have lost her god damned mind. Or I’m an asshole. You choose.
This year has been a struggle. She wanted to take a break year before she goes to community college, but can’t keep a job. Apparently, retail situations are too phobic against her non-binary state. (My child looks/acts/dresses exactly as a young adult female btw. When I ask how people are being phobic against her, she gets as prickly as a cactus so I really don’t know the details.). She’s been through 4 or 5 jobs this year, quit all of them. She won’t consider call centers that aren’t face to face because she doesn’t like to talk on phones, and is apparently looking for a remote job without any luck.
She’s been unemployed since Thanksgiving (she quit her last job on Black Friday, in fact) and I was on the verge of laying down the law, telling her she either needs to go to school this upcoming semester full time or get a full time job or move out with her friends.
But now she’s come to me and she’s 5 months pregnant. She’s very angry at me, says it’s my fault because:

• I didn’t put her on puberty-blocking hormones when she came to me 2 years ago.
• She believes I am in fact trying to ‘feminize her’ by getting her birth control. (The pill.). She’s been throwing her prescription away.

This is where I might be the asshole. I called her a little idiot. We don’t use that sort of language in my house, and I never call people names — especially my own child — but at that moment I could just see red.
The hormone thing is a non-issue IMO because this is the first time I ever heard of her wanting hormones. What was I supposed to do? Go back in time?
As for the birth control! It’s also the first time I’m hearing anything about this! There are non-pill options that don’t have estrogen. If that was her want, all she had to do was ask and I would have driven her to the doctor myself! Or she could have taken the car she has and done it. She has her own medical card, even! Though to be fair, I don’t know how she would have managed the co-pay without a job. I know for a fact her old high school gave out free condoms like candy because her friends were always giggling over flavored sample packs and even blew a few of them up like balloons and left them around the house one time. She had all the birth control she could ever want and used none of it.
It gets worse.
We’re way past the date of abortion (again, I would have helped her if this had been her wish! We live in an abortion protected state and can afford it!). She’s known she was pregnant since about 2 months and has come to think of her baby like a sibling. She expects me to raise it like it was mine. That this is my duty, in fact, because she says it is my refusal to accept her non-binary state that led to her being pregnant. So she was going to get a brother or sister and I was going to have another child.
You can say my language grew … sterner to versions of ‘Get your head out of your ass’ and ‘Congratulations, mommy, you have some hard decisions to make’, and I said I would absolutely not raise her baby for her.
She also refused to say who the father was. Now that I’ve cooled down, I’m really hoping she has a secret boyfriend. She does have some friends who were born male, but now also don’t identify that way. We didn’t even get there as I lost my mind when she said she thinks of her own baby as a sibling and wants me to raise it like my own child.
She’s locked herself in her room loudly wailing, I feel like crap warmed over. She’s been in there for 12 hours, and as she has an attached bathroom, probably won’t be coming out until she gets hungry. Considering it’s been half a day I think she has snacks stored.
I also don’t know where to go from here. Being pregnant sucks and messes with your head, so I’d like to blame that and the fear she must be feeling, but … I have the bad feeling I either raised a spoiled brat or someone with an emerging personality disorder.
So I need to know from people who aren’t emotionally involved, and maybe some people who are more in tune with this whole nonbinary thing than I am.
What do I do to help while also making her responsible for her own child? How can I help my daughter accept she must do basically the most feminine thing you can do (give birth and possibly breast-feed) while being sensitive that she’s non-binary? Am I just a big asshole here?
Typing all this out it feels like my daughter is lost in crazy town. I'm still not raising her baby but at what point do I drag a legal adult to the hospital?
Edit: You might disagree with my choices or wording, but I'm reporting people who call this bait. It's not.
Edit2: It's the middle of the night and she has decided to pack some of her clothes and stay with one of her friends. (One who I suspect is the baby daddy). Before she left she told me that she already called the police and let them know that she was 'leaving of her own free will and was not in danger'. Like I was going to report an 18 year old adult as a runaway or something? It was insulting.
I told her she needs to work out details if she wants to adopt with the father, and she was welcome back home when she had a plan in place.
It was short because I heard her on the way out. I think she just meant to leave without saying anything.
Thank you for your kind comments and advice, Reddit. I'm going to sleep.
Commenters agreed that OOP's child wasn't thinking straight:
Comment 1:
NTA.
I hate to say this, but; I sincerely hope OP's daughter chooses to give up this baby for adoption, because she's a confused hot ass mess. I don't blame OP for not wanting to step on the crazy train and raise this baby.
Comment 2:
Let’s be honest: If OP says yes to raising this child as her own, it will be the first of several. Daughter won’t take BC, so she will continue to have unprotected sex and get pregnant. She decided a couple years ago that she’s NB, expected her mother to understand that and know everything about it, and is now rewriting history to blame her mom for her now being pregnant. My head is swimming, and she’s not my daughter! There will be more babies.
Comment 3:
NB here OP.
You are SO NTA. I feel sympathy for your kid because they sound like they are so confused, maybe have body dysphoria and are now facing a life altering situation with no way out. They must feel so trapped. So they turn on you. It's easier for them to yell at and blame you instead of accepting responsibility. They are looking for a way out. We all keep changing and growing and your kid is SO young they seem to not know who they are yet and now they have to face looking after a baby when they know deep down they can't even really take care of themselves.
But my GOD the thing they did that was really stupid was chucking BC away. That is actually wild. Your kid needs to learn the difference between gender enforced stereotypes and actual biology. With biology it unfortunately doesn't matter what gender you are, the biology doesn't care, it still works the same. They NEED to learn that and differentiate.
Like I said, NTA OP. What a shit situation. I hope it gets better. I really do.
Comment 4:
NTA, your child is in fact a little idiot, with behavior that would be an absolute nightmare had you not been their parent. Also birth control isn’t a form of feminization, it’s a form of responsibility when you’re born in a body with a uterus and want to have sex that can result in pregnancy.
OOP's response:
Ugh, I wish I had those words when she hit me with that one. I sort of sputtered for a few minutes.
Comment 5:
Oh man, this is a can of worms within itself.
I wish I had better advice but just...I feel for you and the position you are stuck in.
The ONLY thing I can think of is, referring to breast feeding as "chest feeding" might make your NB daughter accept it more.
But like...there's a whole other level of things you need to get through first.
First and foremost, therapy, ASAP for your kid. Because she needs to get her head sorted out. Assuming you will just take this kid and raise it for her is...problematic to say the least. And she's got a deadline coming obviously, so therapy ASAP.
Also appointment for pregnancy checkups asap!! Has she had any? An unmonitored pregnancy can lead to complications
You might also be able to get her a social worker to go through pregnancy checkups, birthing extra.
Your kid needs a big sit down conversation about accountability for your own actions. And about how she might feel like part of YOUR actions lead to this, there was also many many choices she could have made to prevent this, that she chose not too. And at the end of the day, it was HER choices that led to this, not you.
OOP's response:
Thanks for this tip. I've written it down. The reason I mentioned she was NB because using 'breast' instead of 'chest' is the exact type of thing to send her into a pissy-fit when she's in the wrong mood. I know this may sound like a little thing, but she's always been... well, dramatic.
Because it's the internet and things are anonymous I'll admit that I am absolutely dreading pregnancy and afterbirth mood swings. Especially since it will all involve very womanly things in every intimate way. On top of the sheer stress of a newborn? Yes, I'm not looking forward to it at all and am already preparing to endure the storms.
Our conversation wasn't productive (it was an argument and she's still not out of her room) but I don't think she has had any prenatal care. That will change if I have anything to do with it.
Thanks again.
OOP commented with some of her concerns:
Yes. My worry and regret have so many places to go and a big part of it is for the baby.
This has been a bad day. :(
Responding to a comment regarding her child's entitled attitude:
Oh believe you me I have been kicking myself up and down on top of everything else. I don't know how she got to this point, but she's there now.
I wish I did have that time travel machine she clearly expects me to have.
She also clarified her overall views on the matter:
I'm on the fence. If she acted at all like she didn't have a gender (I believe that's what NB is) then I could take it more seriously. But she dresses as a woman. She puts on makeup, wears dresses during the summer, enjoys feminine things? We watch horse videos on youtube and squeal over the new foal videos. She's never been a tom boy, even.
But I was like, okay this isn't hurting her. I'll let her have this and express herself. Maybe it'll turn into something, maybe it won't. And after the first few weeks, she even dropped changing pronouns every day.
Her mentioning being NB faded and then started up hard again when high school ended and she started working retail.
I try to be understanding. Retail is hell and I'd personally only work it again if I was at my last resort. But recently it does seem to be an excuse not to work. And now she has a baby on the way.
This may not be the place for it, but I'm just worried she's regressing to a more child-like state. I don't know if she's struggling with being NB or if she's using NB as an excuse to shield herself from the world. Ugh. I guess the internet won't know, but I'm just flat out worried.
​
AITAH has no consensus bot but the comments were largely NTA.
​
Update: My NB Daughter Wants Me To Raise Her Baby - Feb 17, 2024
Hi,
This is an update to this post (Long story short my 18 year old NB daughter wanted me to raise her baby, and she told me she thinks the baby as her sibling. We had a blow-out, she locked herself in her room for most of a day, and then took off with her friends/her lover)
So this happened a few days ago but I didn’t update because I needed to get my head around it. It still doesn’t make sense.
Daughter finally unblocked me. She and the person who got her pregnant wanted to talk to me at a public place. We chose iHop.
Although I suspected I knew who her lover was, I was disappointed to find out because they have been a part of my daughter’s friend group since high school and was the only one I ever had a problem with and kicked out of my house.
They are trans now but two years ago the friend group was watching a movie in the living room, and every time I’d pass by, he (he was a he then) would lock eyes with me and make really obnoxious, loud, orgasm sounds like that scene in Harry Met Sally. I told him to knock it off and grew sterner when he did it again.
Then when I was in the kitchen, he somehow snuck up behind me and was miming jack-off movements with his hand. I turned around and caught him at it. He was still fully clothed, but it was startling and freaky. I kicked him out.
So now I’ll just call them Sperm-donor because that’s what they are.
I’m still calling my daughter ‘my daughter’ and ‘she’ because I still haven’t been told not to by her otherwise. So get off my case on that.
Anyway, the iHop meeting was a shit-show. Sperm-donor sat with my daughter and went on the attack. Sperm-donor’s points were:

• I was poisoning my daughter by “making” her take birth control. (I only helped her get the prescription and would have done everything I could if I knew she didn’t want to take the pill. There are other methods!)
• It will take years to “fix” my daughter after all I did. (Not giving her hormones even though I had no idea that was what she wanted. She dropped even wanting to change her pronouns after a few weeks.)
• Abortion is a sin and I am a monster for suggesting it. (It’s past the date anyway.)
• I am further abusing her by not taking care of the baby while she fixes herself. (I guess they meant it as a temp situation which was also new to me.)

So apparently even though I’m an abusive monster, a bad mother, and so on, I’m even worse for not taking in their baby. At least no one suggested that I raise it like my daughter’s sister anymore. That might have been my daughter’s thought on it.
Sperm-donor did most of the talking while my daughter just sat and glared at me, nodding along.
It was kind of a whirlwind, Sperm-donor pounded the table a few times, and even the waiter knew not to bother us after drinks, lol. I’m surprised we weren’t asked to leave.
There was a lot said, mostly by the sperm-donor who really seemed to be steering the ship. I asked why sperm-donor couldn’t take care of the baby and sperm-donor said their parents were even worse than me. I guess my daughter and sperm-donor taking care of the child they created is out of the question.
I told them that I would not be raising their baby for them and that adoption is the best bet. They said that if I don’t agree to raise it, they’ll make sure I’ll never see the baby ever.
I won’t raise their child for them. So that’s that, I guess.
I feel so many flavors of worried and angry and then worried all over again. I’ve been around the block and it’s never a great sign when the person you’re with makes an enemy of your family. That’s what sperm-donor has done by painting me as an abuser and failed mother who also won’t take in their baby. Sounds like sperm-donor has cut themselves off from their own family too. So I’m worried my daughter is in a very controlling relationship with someone who convinced her to stop birth control because they think hormones are too feminizing somehow and that she needs to be “fixed”. But they still want me to raise their baby.
I’m angry that my daughter can just hear this crap and nod along like, yeah, that makes total sense. She is not stupid. I think she’s love blinded.
I’m sad and worried for the baby. A couple commenters suggested I wanted nothing to do with the baby because I wouldn’t agree to raise it as my own. No, in a perfect world, I would want a normal grandmotherly relationship. Or at least know that the child is safe and has been adopted into a loving family.
I don’t care what my daughter does with her gender, or her body as long as she doesn’t hurt herself. I want her to be in a happy relationship with someone who values her for who she is. Sperm-donor kept using the word ‘fix’ which I see as another terrible sign.
It’s bad all around. My house is empty. It feels like my adult daughter has run off to join up with some weird church/cult thing who tells her that up is down. That not using birth control and not getting an abortion and then expecting others to take care of the child is all a-okay. Oh and that she’s a problem and needs to be “fixed”.
I texted her and said I would be there for her, but sperm-donor was still not welcome in the house. I think I’m blocked again.
She’s a legal adult. I’m not sure what else I can do at this point? In my low points, part of me thinks maybe I should agree to take the baby and then immediately make sure it’s adopted into a loving home. But I get the feeling that sperm-donor won’t make that easy, and right now my daughter does what he says. Also I’m not sure if that plan is even possible. It sounds Hollywood.
I have an appointment to speak with a councilor, but the soonest I could get is April. Some of my friends think I should take the baby in either to get them away from the parents or because they think it’s my duty, or both.
The only silver lining in this was that they both seemed sober. I don’t think there’s drugs involved.
Am I reading this wrong? Am I the asshole here?
Commenters agreed that sperm donor's comments made no sense, and that OOP's child was probably stuck in an abusive relationship:
Comment 1:
For your safety, I would change the locks and put up camera, Sperm-donor seems unhinged. I’m a firm believer in better safe than sorry.
Comment 2:
This baby will be used as a pawn in his never ending psycho drama. If they do not and cannot raise their baby, the best solution is adoption. Otherwise, the father will make your life a living hell.
NTA
OOP's response:
I couldn't figure out a polite way of saying this, but yes. That is my suspicion if I take in their baby. Sperm-donor implied it would be temporary while earlier my daughter said it would be permanent. I think sperm-donor will refuse to sign over paperwork when the time comes or try to leverage it in some way.
Comment 3:
NTA also it sounds like your daughter is in an abusive relationship with this person. Sorry your daughter has been brain washed by this crazy person. I would definitely contact this sperm donors family and if they seem sane warn them about how crazy both of spoke to you.
OOP's response:
That is my fear, and not a bad idea to contact sperm-donor's parents. This has all happened so far, I feel like I'm in shock and I'm very worried.
Comment 4:
Pretty wild that a trans person is saying abortion is a sin. None of this is anything like what you're going to hear from any healthy LGBT community, who are quite careful to make sure not to support people in delusional or antisocial behavior. Definitely get therapy, sounds like your kid has some serious mental health problems if they're being influenced by whatever wackos put these ideas into their head. You're going to need support in coping with this madness. NTA by a country mile. You are in no way "abusing" your kid by refusing to take responsibility for their bad choices.
OOP's response:
Thank you and yes, I don't want to minimize my daughter's role in it but the hard anti-abortion thing surprised me too. A lot of what they said contradicted itself. It felt like I was sitting across from two people who were in their own wacko bubble.
I know it's not a LGBT thing. I wish someone from their community would knock some sense into them, if its even possible at this point.
​
OOP hasn't posted since the last update.
Reminder - I am not the original poster. DO NOT COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS.

Throwaway because I only lurk on reddit. I'm 27, the girl was 24. Dated for 2 months.
Like I don't know where to even begin. I even have no idea why am I writing this but I just feel so ultimately broken that it hurts in a way that I thought is impossible. I feel so empty, like I wanna cry and scream but there are no tears and there is just silence and me staring at the wall and having thousands of thoughts at once and I'm not sure what to do about it.
I started dating this cutest girl on March and everything was as smooth as a butter. We met on an app. I knew she has attatchment issues and etc but I was patient and honest and wanted to wait with physical stuff because she mentioned its important for her to feel comfortable and stuff and I was very understanding as always and thought that I finally found someone who has the same approach to relationship and wants to build something on honesty and go with the flow, don't force anything and so on. I did not want to rush anything and we were going at our own steady pace. I never want to do any physical stuff very early on in the relationship, we only did some light stuff, like kissing, touching each other above the waist and such. Very "polite". We both communicated our goals, relationship-wise and such. We both wanted the same thing, a life partner. We both said we are monogamous and we just need one person and no one else and everything was peachy.
So we always were on good terms in person but texting was a bit of a struggle, we usually had fights (like twice) on texting apps (never in person though). Time spent IRL though was like the best time possible for both of us and we were super comfy with each other like I never felt before actually.
Now, there was a time (like 2 weeks) when we didn't see each other at all. During that time we had one of those fights she gave me silent treatment for like 3 days. Now I think this is passive aggressive manipulation technique which is a deal breaker to me. But I thought "damn this girl is really cool besides that little issue, I'll give her a chance, maybe she's just stressed out or something". It went on for like 3-4 days and we started talking again and it was good.
The fight was about something we were supposed to talk about IRL (and I panicked because it sounded very serious) but then she mentioned it was just that she won't be able to spend a day with me in next month (a specific, special day that we were supposed to spend with each other). Not a big deal and I was suspicious that this was the thing she wanted to talk in person. She mentioned "I have no idea what is your approach to these things" when I asked what she wanted to talk about in person (before we had fight) and it keeps ringing a bell now - I'll explain later. We met up later after making up and, we have good time, everything felt right, idk. The fight was caused by me because apparently I "freaked out" (because I've never heard good news in my life when I've heard "we have to talk" from someone I'm dating).
I won't mention that she was talking like relationship is a huge step and she isnt sure about it and she wants to go at her own pace and things like that. I was okay with that, I was affectionate and she was usually cold towards that saying that she doesnt want to get attatched and similar things and at the same time talking dirty to me sometimes. I also should mention that she has a ton of guy friends.
Then we had another fight about some stupid thing like before too. Like basically meaningless stuff that did not matter at all. It ended with her not messaging me for 6 days straight and I just got tired and deleted her everywhere besides one app because if she acts like a child so be it. Play stupid games win stupid prizes. Like 1-2 hours after I have done that she messages me like nothing happens. I am 100% sure its not a coincidence and she only messaged me because she noticed that. And then she mentions that I deleted her everywhere and how nice it is of me. Then I just told her that I don't see us having a future because she keeps using silent treatment which is a deal breaker to me. And she laughs at me saying that I was not on silent treatment (though we ended last convo on a fight) and I'm a clingy insecure incel or something like that. I was over it anyway since the last fight and didn't feel a thing so we just had few messages back and forth - I was trying to be as polite as possible, she was trying quite the opposite. Then she blocked me. Then she unblocked me after 20 minutes. Just to mention that now she does not regret having sex with her "situationship" 2 weeks ago.
The "situationship" is like a close guy friend that had a crush on her but she rejected him. She had multiple of those. She had more guy friends than I have lol. She had multiple of exes with which she was still very close and friendly. At the same time she says she only slept only with one guy ever (its not like it matters but Im pretty sure it was a lie now). I'm not jealous or anything. I am just scared that this is the type of girls I will be seeing now in the future. It's like 3rd time I'm seeing someone like that. I know we didn't promise each other anything but we became close and we dated exclusively and she had sex with someone (and felt guilty about it for a reason).
I was over it yesterday and didn't want to date her anyway but now it's like somebody stabbed me multiple times in my stomach and twisted the knife badly. I feel physically ill, I didn't eat since that conversation and it was like 5 hours ago. I just don't know what to do with myself. Are those girls the only girls that will date me? Can I for once be a first option for someone and not just a spare part? I'm just so sad, man, I wish someone would just hug me and tell me it's okay to cry. I feel like vomiting after finding out she was seeing me and kissing me after having sex with a guy 2 weeks before.
I just can't stand how she intentionally decided to hurt me in the worst way possible, I wish she didn't say that but at the same time I deserve the truth though. But it was said like "in your face, bitch, I had sex with someone when we were dating and that wasn't you, you loser".
"I have no idea what is your approach to these things" rings a bell now. Because she said it like 3 days after she fucked that "friend" of hers. So she felt guilty because she knew that she has done something shitty. She gave me specific date when they had sex and it all adds up. She lied to me. Multiple times apparently. She didn't know what is my approach to those things meaning she did not know how I would react to "oh i had sex with someone else". And she only informed me about it when we had a huge fight. So she never thought about me seriously and just wasted my time.
By the way - throughout those 2 months I saw multiple times her pics on dating profile change, her bio change, her location change and other details about her change in the app. Constantly. Like every 10 days or so there was a small change. It's not like I was checking it every hour but like once every 2 weeks or so just to look at her mostly lol because I really liked looking at her.
I bought flowers for this girl. I was pouring compliment after compliment until she was blushing and almost cried with happiness. I was there for her mental breakdowns and I just always provided support, I was thinking about her all the time. I fucking bought a post card for her when I had small vacations. I wrote it specifically for her putting some easter eggs inside that only we both can laugh at. I almost told her that I love her and I only said that to 2 people in my life so far. We both assured each other multiple times that we are exclusive and we both don't want to date any other person and we want to keep dating each other and progress into relationship phase. I was doing literally anything I could thought of to make her feel secure and comfortable. Meanwhile she had sex with someone and stated that she doesn’t feel any guilt about it because we weren’t in the relationship. Like what? We were already going on dates, several dates. And she stated that she did „what a good friend would do”. Like I don’t really want to date anyone after reading all of that. How shitty can one person be?
Is there a chance that I will meet a girl who won't do things like this ever? This is like second time I'm going through some kind of infidelity stuff and it's just... I'm tired boss. My last relationship ended after 2 years because my gf was unfaithful. She basically was sleeping around and sexting multiple people. I just want to find my one and only and be the romantic guy who appreciates the other person 24/7 and is caring and loving and would do literally anything for that special someone. I want to see sunsets and sunrises and look into her eyes and think that I don't want to look into any other eyes. I want to fall in love so deeply that I literally want to spend each hour with that person. I am always honest, focused 100% on only the person I'm seeing and not seeing any other people around and not caring about any other "date opportunities" or stuff like that. She made me open up about things that previously took years for me to speak about. She gave me more compliments in those 2 months than I ever heard in my whole life previously. She made me feel loved. She made me feel wonderful, blissful. And at the same time she stabbed me multiple times and I bleed it out.
Like I have all these questions:

• How am I supposed to trust someone after such a betrayal when they have been acting so perfectly good to me and were so supportive, nice and "honest" all the time besides that one time where they cheated on me?
• Am I not worthy of loving?
• Not worthy of faithfulness?
• Not worthy of a proper communication?
• Not worthy of honesty?
• Does everybody lie? Why do people do this?
• Why do I have to go through all of these experiences one after another, can't like I have a good time with someone and hear that I'm great and it's all good but the vibe isn't quite there or something like that?
• Why do I always have to be hurt in the worst way possible? I've never broken up with anyone before. I always give chances and never lose hope unless something really bad happened.
• Will it ever stop?
• Will I have to keep living and experiencing more and more painful relations until I physically cannot take it anymore?
• Why have I never felt NOT alone throughout my life?
• Why is everyone I'm dating so toxic?
• What's the deal with dating world these days? There is always another option but that doesn't mean shitty behavior is acceptable or something.
• Why is that pain more powerful each time?
• Does loyalty even exist these days?
• Why. Just why. Jesus christ.

If you will read this – I know you use reddit – I wish you to never feel the way you made me feel. I’m absolutely destroyed, you ruined me. I told you that I trust you. You destroyed it. I will always have trust issues towards any woman in my life forever until I die. I hope you’re proud of your little manipulational psychological tricks and immature behaviour. Your actions always have consequences.

So basically my bf and I were head over heels and were pretty fresh with having dated for just around ≈3 months when we started fighting more but mostly bc he had less time bc of school, work, hobby, etc. and I didn’t feel reassured enough anymore. We always fixed it but one day he was busy asf and didn’t text all day and I spam called, texted, etc. and he said he doesn’t understand how I can’t trust him enough when he finally answered and said he was busy all day. I said I thought he was ignoring me since he was online every now and then and posted on his story and he said he just didn’t have time to even text me smth like 'won‘t be available today' wich I asked him once to and he apologized. He said he feels kinda disappointed but questions if we should keep going with the relationship and said he needs a break also for himself overall to work on himself since he himself is just pissed all day, makes my mood worse while arguing and doesn’t have the time I need anymore. I said I don’t want time but reassurance and I feel like he still didn’t get that. He said he‘ll always love me tho and wants to date again after the break but lwk stay friends (but rn I always have to reach out first too even on the anniversary thing) and he promises to date me again but j can‘t promise how long this break will be and says I shouldn’t wait for him, move on and date someone else cause me waiting and loving him forever or saying that will hurt me in the long run. He says he doesn’t mind if I‘d wanna date someone else, he just won’t tho until he‘s better. He also started gambling a little and taking edibles but it keeps him calm. He took out the pfp on his insta wich was my fav pic of him and one day ignored me completely but still has all the apps for couples we had, has my pictures still on every app, 52 or so saved of me and my love letters. He also told everyone about me already and loved posting me on his socials, asking me to let him and all that pretty early so he prob was serious about me.He‘d also stay otp even when gaming with his friends. Idk is he trying to forget me? Does he really want to date me again? I told him I‘ll also work on myself but he j said I‘m perfect and doesn’t know what I could work on. He said he wants to stay friends but one day ignored me and read my messages the day after but started to at least read my messages but doesn’t respond only once when I wished him happy monthly anniversary of knowing me we both were so exited about. Idk he is confusing me. Especially since on the day we broke up we called afterwards and when I started crying stayed up for me and also said if I’m crying about it I’m understanding it wrong and it doesn’t mean our end and somehow I ended up on the topic of my wedding and how make up will be useless bc I’ll cry sm since I cry a lot in every emotion even happiness and corrected me saying 'on our wedding' and still complimented me,etc. Idk if he is acting that way bc of past trauma where he got cheated on and lost an important person in his life, etc. and doesn’t like help from others for that reason. What should I do? I mean, he kept the number of his ex unblocked until she asked about me but also blocked every other girl following him when neither of us knew her and even after the break up when a girl slid into his DMs he saidd he doesn’t want anyone texting him and was pissed.
Does he still like me or just wants to make the break up easy for him?

How can someone just decide to fuck up someone else friendship? I've recently lost my closest and bestest friend ever. She got closer to me than anyone else in my life. We talked daily for a whole year, from morning to night. Everyday more or less.
And i got really attached to her. I really valued our friendship and i miss her so much. I would do anything to just...talk to her again.
But she removed me as a friend like month ago. And it's been really rough for me to be honest. I've never felt so alone as i do right now. I can't stop thinking about it and it making me really depressed.
So this is basically from my point of view. So just one day she wrote to me on discord that there is this guy in her server that comes from another country, and he started talking about that he wanted to move to my country, and he mentioned my citys name even, And my friend then said jokingly that she thought that it was me who made an troll account just to fuck with her. But my friend then said that to this guy, that she knows me and lives in that very city he wanna move to. And she asked if he could talk to me, and i was bored and thought why not, it's kinda creepy and like what is the coincidence. so we started talking and i can't remember exactly what really happened but the guy got really mad over a joke i made and removed me. And then started to like argue with my friend in this discord server. Saying stuff like im weird and yadayada.
She ignores him. Some days go on and he tries to talk to her and she ignores him as much as possible, or be very short with him. Dude gets really angry and starts going off at her and at me. Then leaves the server, and we just laughed and forgot about him kinda like instantly, talked a little about how weird it was but that's all pretty much.
And then maybe like month later or something i think dude is back and tried to say he was sorry, tried to become friends again with me and my friend and i let him re-add me and we talked and he were sorry. and i showed my friend but she wasn't having it with this guy. But he tried really hard to talk with my friend and she got tired of him. And one day he just asked me if my friend hates him or something and i said the truth that he is really annoying and he tries to hard, my friend is parasocial so she just gets quiet when people are to much.
Then he gets really angry again, removes me and start an argument in the server again. Ignored by my friend and leaves the server.
then i don't remember much what happened but he kinda just left us alone. Until one day he leaves her a dm and it's a whole paragraph of just...BS pretty much. She ignores him, i can't remember exactly. But he gets blocked or something.
We don't hear from this guy since.
And one day there is this new girl who joins the server my friend is in. And they start to talk and actually becoming friends, i think they talk for a month or something. And i joined the same server because me and my friend talked about that old guy for some reason.
And i don't really talk in the server much.
Until one day i said something, and this other girl said something.
All of the sudden i got an dm from my friend asking if i were intrested in talking to this new friend of my friend. And isaid yes, and she made a groupchat with just us three.
And it went really smoothly at first, we talked about cakes, food, music and stuff like that. And then this girl starting to become kinda.. needy according to my friend, she would leave her paragraps of text daily about private stuff, asking her personal stuff about me and her and other stuff.
My friend didn't answer much cause she were busy with other stuff or didn't feel like it cause it was kinda weird stuff.
Then this girl writes to me, asking me if my friend is ignoring her and stuff like that. And i said i don't really know, all i know is that she is really busy with school, maybe she's playing something or watching a movie and stuff like that.
And then one day this said that her fiance walked out on her cause he were pissed or something, and me and my friend were both busy that day so we didn't have time to answer her. And she took that as we both ignored her, she gets mad and i understand that. but she lashed out and went over the line so hard and so quick. She leaves the groupchat, unfriend my friend and leaves me a long text about she just blocked my friend and rather wrote to me instead cause i actually answers back. And said stuff like she feels ignored, and she doesn't understand why. I show the text to my friend and she answers me like hours later and she got a bit angry aswell over what this girl said. And then this girl unfriends me, and sometimes goes on. A few days later she writes to me a long paragraph again, saying how bad friend my friend is, cause she were talking shit behind my back, saying i'm to much, always like teasing/bullying her, and always writes when she is online and she were tired of it.
And i sent her the text to my friend, we talked and i wrote back to this other girl, and she started to insult me, tried to anyway, starting to say im a simp, pathetic loser and i have a baby di*k and stuff like that.
So we have a long argument pretty much, My friend gets really annoyed and adds her and she also starts to fight with this girl. But then this girl starts to say some really weird stuff about me and my friend should just have sex and getting really.. detailed and graphic about it. Putting both of us in a really weird and awkward position.
She gets blocket after a while.
And now comes to most annoying part. Me and my friend, we don't talk as much as we used to. It's very..limited. We don't joke as much anymore. We just.. answer each others msgs but that's about it. And it goes on like that for a week until i say that ever since that night when this girl said all those things, our chat has changed, we don't talk as we used to. I can't tease/bully her anymore cause now it just feels like im flirting instead. And my friend said she kinda feels the same, it feels super weird for her. And i'm actually getting kinda sad and nervous and start to ask like what can i do to change the situation. Cause i miss our old ways how we used to talk and all that, and my friend said it's not really my or our fault, it was that girls fault and it feels really weird. and i'm getting even more sader and try to talk some more but i'm getting short answers so i took that she were feeling uncomfy about it all...
And later i found out that my friend actually lied to me about a thing, and asked her about it and she didn't want to hurt me but still kept on lying. And i got really sad about it, so sad that i just left the chat and logged out.
And the whole day i sat there thinking about what i would say back, made a speech in my head and were preparing myself to say it. And as soon i open up my friends dm, i see she unfriends me. From Instagram, Steam, Roblox, Tiktok, Like..everywhere. And i wrote to her, tried to make her say something but i get no responds. so i just said that it sucks it comes to this but i just have to accept her wish then. I leave her alone.
A few days later i get a dm from her. It's a printscreen from that first guy, who were starting fights. Said that he knew the girl me and my friend talked to. She were just his "secret agent" and it was all a big lie. It was him all along pretty much, And i tried to answer her dm, but.. it didn't deliver. she put on the setting that she wont get any msgs from non-friends. It made me cry, and i wrote in the server cause she were online. Ignores me.. Then i saw she even blocked me. My friend blocked me... And it felt like a knife in the gut so i went to instagram, asked her why she blocked me and i just wanted to answer the dm with something. She reads it instantly. And blocks me there aswell.
And this was a month ago now. And to be honest.. I don't even know what happend, I miss my friend so much and everyday is a struggle. I can sit in our dms and reading old chatlogs and sometimes i start to laugh and smile, and sometime i just cry and can't stop pretty much. But after a few days i started to force myself to watch movies, play some games and some days i managed just fine. Some days i couldn't at all.
then i saw she unblocks me. And i sat there for hours, just watching her profile. thinking " what happends if i wrote to her?" And i actually decided that i would try to reconnect. Cause she was/is my closest friend, and i value that so much and i just wanted to try again. So i wrote a paragraph pretty much, saying how much i miss her and i just wanna talk with her again. And when i were done, i just sat there for atleast an hour before i press enter. It didn't deliver cause she don't get any msgs from non-friends. And i started to bawl my eyes out. That was 3 days ago. I still haven't really recoverd and i feel so alone, so empty and so lost and i don't know what to do honestly. i just wanna... talk with her.
Sorry for long post but i just needed to write down my side of the story.

I ended the relationship with a friend because she kept rejecting every time I ask her to meet, and everybody thinks I'm the asshole
4 things before I start with the story First, english is not my first language and I haven't practiced in a long time. Second, I have avoidant attachment, which it's a important thing in this story. Third, the main characters are the girl, who I'll call morgana(f19), obviously fake name, my brother(m23), that is also friends with her, and me(m19). Lastly, I posted this before but got eliminated because I missed some basic rule(sorry I never post on reddit), so I'm gonna use this chance to do some corrections and clarifications, mostly about the way I phrased things and exagerated some.
Long story short, she's a friend from my brother's college, and I met her one day that I went with my brother to some hang out/reunion, I only wanted free drinks tbh lol, but my brother insisted that she had similar interests and that he saw us being friends. This happened on december of two years ago I think.
We bonded, and so we exchanged phone numbers. She was a lot more outgoing than me, and made some plan for us to go out, as an introverted person, who lost a lot of friends because of the quarantine, (they didn't die, just we were too anxious and depressed to talk lol) this was a new experience for me.
As the time went by, there were some instances in which I did disappear for a while, but nonetheless we were really good friends. On october last year, we made other plans to go out to watch a movie, Plans which she cancelled in the morning of the day we were supposed to go out, I really wasn't mad. On halloween, her friend group, including my brother, were having a party, apparently her parents didn't let her go to this so she was free, so I thought it would be a good chance to hang out, first, I ask her if she wanted to go to the cinema, but she refused bc the movie was gonna take to long and she didn't want to go to her house that late, so finally we decided to watch some scary videos while chatting on discord. After that she kinda started to ghost me for some hours until late in the night when she just told me "I'm going some place else"(she also send me some gifts and said nice thing, but the important part is that she just cancelled the plan only by saying that she was going somewhere else).
This time I did get angry, and send her some messages telling her that she made me feel like her backup plan, which up to a certain point I do think it's true. But because I was bored and needed someone to talk to, I kinda just started talking to her again and downplayed what she did.
The last time she cancelled a plan she did compromise to was on december of the same year, in which I was in a work related thing close to her house, so I just asked her meet up some place close, she accepted but told me that she was cleaning and as soon as she finishes she is going to tell me. 4 hours passed and she just tell me that she ended cleaning late and that she was sorry, but was going to go with her sister to eat or something, once again I wasn't mad.
After that I have to be honest and say that I did hold some resentment torwards her, that and the fact that I was pretty busy studying, just made my avoidant attachment worst and so we just kinda talked once or twice per month (which being honest sometimes happened before this but not as often). After that I just tried to go back to when the friendship was really good, but I still hold some resentment torwards her and she just kept rejecting everytime I proposed to hang out(Edit: It was only two times, I exagerated because I'm a dramatic person lol), I know this sound like I don't know how to take the hint, but, in my defense, she was constantly saying that she wanted to hang out with me, obviously she never tried to make plans, and everytime I did she just rejected them. (Edit: In this part I kinda exagerated, I only ask her to meet up twice I think, the ones explained in the next paragraphs, I made sound like it was a lot of times, but just twice.)
The breaking point was on february of this year, I bought her some valentine gifts as a friendship thing, (Edit: apparently some people thought this was weird, I truly don't get why because where I live it's pretty common to buy friendship gifts on valentine, plus, she had already send me some gifts on halloween claiming I was really good friend and important part of her life) I happened to go close to her house twice because a relative lives in the same area, so I asked her those two times to go to her house just to give her the gifts, it goes without saying, I got rejected again.
That last time I asked was on march(Edit: This was one of the two times I asked, not a different incident. I know, I write like a 12 year old complaining about fortnite or something lol) I think, just to give an idea of how much time I held to those shitty gifts I bought, because she refused to just lend me hand them to her. So, she kinda picked up the vibe that she was making me feel unaprecieted, or I think my brother told her because I did say to him how I was about to just stop talking to her if she kept on doing the same thing. So she tried to make some plans to make up for it, which honestly I would have accepted, but something in my mind just felt wrong, and I just couldn't make the resentment magically go away just because after like 6 months she decided that she should stop rejecting hanging out with me, or at least stop pretending she wanted to.
So I confronted her(Edit: I wasn't trying to fight, I just wanted her to know how I was feeling, I explained her the situationas calm as posible, but I did get angry with some of her responses to some things) being fully honest I was kind of hurtful, I did say one comment that was only to make her feel bad, I told her about her valentine gifts and how I was going to eat the chocolate and if the plushie hasn't been given to her in a week I was probably going to throw it in the garbage, and I blocked her, ( Edit: I read a comment saying that I shouldn't claim I was gonna block her and then block her, I didn't lol, I actually told her I needed some time to think if I wanted to keep the friendship, and then blocked her, as stated in the post, just to have time to think and not feel the need to talk to her, after that I unblocked her, which is stated in this paragrahp, but blocked her again as a final straw because she didn't wish me a happy birthday, it sounds petty, but she told my brother to tell me bc she didn't want to text me, even though my brother reassured her that I would have appreciated that, I thought it was the final straw, and also thought that the friendship was never gonna be the same) which apparently was what hurt her the most, because of some personal things that I wasn't aware of. I did unblocked her some time after that only to apologize for saying those things, and clarify that I only blocked her because I needed time to think and not feel the need to talk to her. (Edit: Part of the reasons I was hurtful is that she tried to justify herself by saying things I knew were lies, most remarkable saying that she didn't hang out with anybody during the time she didn't meet up with me, which was a lie because my brother did hang out with her, and her whatsapp stories did show her out couple of times, I don't watch stories, so I only know the times the preview story show her out, which was once or twice. Not justifying my actions, I acted like an asshole and I regret it)
Basically, everybody thinks I'm the asshole because of my avoidant attachment how that has ruined some of my previous friendships. (Edit: I did present some moments of avoidant attachment, through the whole friendship, but we always went back to talking as normal and friendly as usual. For the people that thought I was obsessed with her, after reading the original post I understand it, but as I said before, I exagerated a lot. Lastly, I don't think I misjudged the closeness we had, because she sent me gifts once in a while, and as said before sent me a halloween gift claiming I was an important part of her life. Last clarification, the amount of time I asked her to meet up where 3, technically 4 but on halloween she also planned it with me so i'm not counting it, the three times she cancelled last minute 2 of them were her ideas to meet, and the last three times were my idea to meet.) (Last edit: The reason I brought avoidant attachment its because she vaguely told me in the last fight that she felt that talking to me was like talking to a wall because of how long I could disappear, she also told her in more detail to my brother that my avoidant attachment made her feel bad. Now, since the beginning of the friendship I tried to prioritize communication and being open with each other about things that bother us, that's why since the beginning of the friendship I warn her that I had AA and that if she didn't like that we could be just casual friends and not try to get more close, she told me that it was ok and she just didn't mind, I would have expected that if she started to dislike that part of me she could have told me and I would have tried twice as harder to beat my AA or at least try to talk to her really often, but instead she didn't said anything and kept on acting like we were as close as we were on the best moments of our friendship).
I wanna know if this was my fault or If I acted in a poor way, before the final confrontation. Plus some people express that maybe the relantionship can be saved, if we both take time to express both of our feelings so... ¿what do you guys think?
TLDR: I ended the relationship with a friend because she kept rejecting every time I ask her to meet, and everybody thinks I'm the asshole because I have avoidant attachment

That’s okay. I’m not mad or hurt. I understand. It’s for the best. Truth is since I unblocked you I just wanted to see how you’re doing. I wanted to see if you’re happy. I wanted to see how your daughter is doing. Can’t believe she’s so big already!
I saw you blocked me on Spotify too. Bummer, I enjoyed listening to your playlist. We always had shared music tastes.
But I get it. Whether it’s because you wanted to just move on or give me a taste of my medicine, I get it.
It’s sad how things turned out. How we couldn’t stop hurting one another. I imagine the different timelines where things worked out for us. And I’m happy for those versions of us. But I know our current selves will make the best of our lives as possible.
That’s the beauty of twin flames, right? The triggers initiate a whole new level of growth and self-acquaintance.
And I’m really sorry for my part in things and the ways I’ve been hurtful. I’ve had a lot of reflecting and have been able to heal a lot of the deep rooted issues I had that came from my traumas and were triggered by our connection.
Thank you for being my mirror. The triggers were REALLY rough, it basically brought ALL my worst fears and traumas to the surface and healing from all that was such a process. But I did it. I healed em.
And I really feel like myself for the first time in way too long. I have no negative feelings towards you anymore.
I’m sorry. And I forgive you. I hope you feel the love I send. If you ever want to reach out, I promise you a safe place to land. But no worries either way, truly. I’ve finally come to a place of acceptance with everything. I feel neutral about it.
I hope you’ve healed.
I really do wish you the best.

I am still NOT the Original Poster. That is u/ThrowRA-scarecrow. She posted in relationship_advice. Thank you to u/Direct-Caterpillar77 for the original recommendation and to u/ivy5kin for letting me know about the update
Previous BORU here. New Updates (starting with one from a few months ago and ending with one 7 days old) marked with ****\*

Read trigger warnings

Trigger Warnings: infant abuse; spousal abuse; drug use; stalking; kidnapping attempt
Mood Spoiler: utterly terrifying and disturbing
Original Post: March 16, 2024
My husband (42m) and I (35f) tried for so long to have our boys and girl. Due to a health issue my husband suffered he developed fertility issues and we had to get medical assistance to be able to have our children because if we didn’t he’d probably never have kids. So we went through fertility treatment. He desperately wanted his own biological children and we spent a fortune just to bring them into the world and now he’s jealous and distant with them?
He’s constantly in competition with his own infant children. If I hold the children he gets frustrated. Any time they take my attention away he gets completely pissy. He’s always in a foul mood, irritable and just down right nasty. I don’t understand it. Why is he like this? Our children are barely 6 months and they won’t stop crying every time he’s near. I feel like they can sense his negativity. I tried talking to him. Ive suggested he take interest in the kids and spend more time with us as a family. I know it can sometimes take a little longer for parents to bond with their children but this is down right scary to experience. He’s full of jealousy and envy. He sees our children as competition to my time and affections.
A few times now he has made comments about feeling frustrated that I still breast feed our children. The thing is we mix feed so he has had ample opportunity to feed them and he just doesn’t. He also said that this (meaning our life&our marriage after children) wasn’t what he thought it would be like. I mean what did he expect? A singular baby cries and three of them cry a lot.
We’ve been together for 8 years and married for 7 years. He wanted these children. He pushed for them and now this. I never thought this would ever be me. I am scared. I am scared for my children. I have tried talking to him but he just brushes me off. I’ve suggested counseling. He refuses. He tells me it’s all in my head. I want to save this marriage but I am scared I won’t be able to and maybe it’s not worth saving.
He comes home later everyday. He avoids us on the weekends and any time he has off. I’m not ashamed to say that I went through his phone and there are a lot flirtatious text between him and a “Jessica”. I don’t think anything has happened between them but it sure looks like they are building up to it. I haven’t said anything because I’m afraid. Where do I go with three children, with no money and no family that can help me? I haven’t worked in two years and I’ve spent all my savings on having these children. My mind is in a complete meltdown. I can’t sleep I can’t think and I’m always exhausted.
What the hell happened? Is this him now forever?
Edit: Some of you are some real evil bastards ! Stop blaming me for him mistreating me! I do not deserve to be treated this way and neither do my kids! Stop messaging me evil things!
Relevant Comments:
Examples of 'competition':
If I’m with the kids and say I’m feeding them he gets upset I’m focusing on them and not him, or as he likes to say I’m fussing over them. He expects they sleep through the night and gets upset when I’m with them instead of in bed with him. He has even made weird comments about me loving them more than him.
Did he really want kids or did YOU want kids?
Due to my husband’s fertility issues he was the one pushing for us to have kids. He knew early on that he had a health condition and wanted us to have children way earlier but I asked if we could wait but then his condition worsened so we agreed to get treatment before he couldn’t have any kids. He desperately wanted to be a father and they are biologically ours. His desire to be a father was one of the qualities I liked about him when we started dating.
I’ve always worked and the plan was for me to stay home for the first 2/3 years and perhaps work part time until the kids were school aged. But that’s out the window now because I don’t want to ever be this vulnerable! I’ve been brushing off my cv and scouring the internet for a job. I will never allow myself to be this vulnerable again.
Does he help at ALL? Do you have a support system you could go to?
He doesn’t help me at all. I take care of our kids on my own. My parents are long gone and my sister is abroad. She stayed with us for the birth and a month after the children were born. She lives in France but she’s due to return home this summer. So I know I’ll have her help when she’s back. But I’m trying not to bother her as she’s going through a divorce.
I’ve suggested couples counseling and he refuses. He says everything is in my head.
I’m actually even crying writing this but I do have a small to go bag in the trunk of my car. Just incase. I feel like I’m not being rational because he doesn’t hurt me or the kids but I feel like I’m constantly walking on eggshells. Like what happened to my happy go lucky husband? Who’s this person I’m afraid of?
Are they his biologically? Did you guys go to a support group for infertility treatment?
We didn’t use any sperm or egg donations. The kids are his and mine biologically.
We also went to a support group, two support groups actually. One of them was for couples and the other for men experiencing infertility. He also went to individual therapy to deal with his emotional issues around infertility.
Update Post: March 19, 2024 (3 days later)
Title: He’s (42m) been pinching my (35f) babies?
Thank you to the person who said I should watch his interactions with my babies more closely and frequently. Not even hours after I posted here asking for advice I caught him pinching my son!
While I was scrolling on here and replying to people I decided to check my baby monitor and I watched my husband enter our children’s room and insult them in a hushed and whispery tone. I couldn’t make out much of what he was saying but he was without a doubt telling them that he hated them and wished them dead. Then he pinched my son and my baby boy didn’t even cry which made me think he’s done this many times before.
It all happened so fast and by the time I could make sense of what was happening on the monitor he was already walking down the hallway and down the stairs. At the same time I had lept off the sofa and pretty much tackled him as he came off the stairs. We got into a physical and verbal altercation, we fought, argued and shouted for hours. I guess the police were called by the neighbors because the next thing I know the police are banging on my door. I explained the situation to the police and the officers said that they could not prove that my baby was harmed since he didn’t have a bruise and my baby monitor was only on live feed and not simultaneously recording. Eventually they got my husband to agree to pack a bag and leave. He left reluctantly.
He has since been blowing up my phone begging for forgiveness, talking about how he’s been depressed and stressed by the babies, and that his anxiety and jealousy got the best of him. I just responded once telling him to go fuck himself. I’ve also been in contact with a lawyer and she’s advised me to leave him unblocked incase he further incriminates himself. I don’t even recognize who this man is! Where did this all come from?
How did this happen? Has any other parent experienced this? How did you handle this?
Before y’all start jumping down my throat I am absolutely getting a divorce and I will do everything in my power to get full custody. I did take my children to our family doctor and they are in good health and there are no other signs of abuse. I’ve filled a report with the police and my lawyer is dealing with it. I’m also about to start the process of divorce.
Relevant Comments:
Commenter: He just wants more and better access to his victims. This is someone who gets off on hurting children. Actual human beings who are stressed and depressed do not sneak around abusing children for their dopamine hits.

OOP: Exactly! I’m tired, stressed, depressed and I’m physically still not fully healed from the pregnancy and the cesarean birth but not once have I thought of hurting anyone let alone a baby! I don’t buy his bullshit excuses. He clearly knew what he was doing was wrong otherwise he wouldn’t have been sneaking around and being all hush hush. I do not believe him for one second. He’s a goddamn beastly man.

Update the monitor to one that records:
I’ve set the monitor up to record now! I’ve also ordered a home security system and will be installing it real soon!
On what OOP is doing to protect them:
I’m doing everything I can to protect them! This all happened a few days ago but I am in the process of getting a temporary restraining order. My lawyer is handling it and I understand it takes some time to actually get one and in the meantime I’ve been advised that I can just deny him visitation until he gets a judgement from the courts that forces me to grant him access to my babies but that takes time. So in the meantime he can’t force me or my babies to see him.
I’ve recorded every call and saved ever text. Literally documenting everything. Thankfully he’s saying and texting a goldmine of incriminating things that I hope would be sufficient information for a judge to give me and my babies a restraining/protective order and for family court to grant me primary and sole custody.
Did you tell him you saw the pinch?
Yes. He at first told me I was imagining things. Then switched to saying he was just frustrated our son wouldn’t go to sleep. Then he started saying that he was angry that our son was interrupting our “personal time” and that he was doing it on purpose because the other babies were asleep so why wasn’t he?
Honestly nothing he says makes sense to me. Like my baby boy was just laying there sleepy and he would’ve fallen back to sleep by himself that bastard actually woke him up with his pinching and insults.
He says he went in their room to check up on them and I call bullshit on that he went in there to torment my children. Who in their right mind whispers death to two sleeping babies and a another half asleep baby?!
Did he tell you that over phone or text?
This was on a call which I’ve recorded!
*****Update Post 2: April 10, 2024 (3 weeks after OG post)****\*
Title: How did it go so wrong? For my (36f) birthday he (42m) broke into the house?
Every conversation with him (42m) feels like I’m (36f) losing my mind. The only thing that has kept me semi-sane and able to track what he has been doing is my audio journal and my posts on here.
Last week it was my thirty sixth birthday. Actually I had forgotten it was my birthday and was reminded by my sister that it was in fact my birthday. I decided I couldn’t mope around the house and I got my kids dressed to go shopping and get groceries. We got back and I put away half of the groceries but my babies were fussy and so to tire them out and ready them for bed we went for a walk. When I got back home he was in the kitchen cooking and putting away some of the groceries I had left out. He greeted me and acted normal. I didn’t react because his entire demeanour was freaking me out so I played along. I went upstairs and got the kids down. I did think of walking out the front door but he was kind of anticipating it and so he was following me around and I thought in the moment that the best thing I could do was to get my kids upstairs and away from him. He said he wanted to talk and clear the air because this has “gone on too long”.
We had a long conversation and it started out reasonable but eventually spiralled out of control. We got into physical confrontation because I refused to let him stay. He tried to physically intimidate me and he, well hurt me. While he was hurting me I was still able to contact the police. It took them a excruciatingly long 20/25 minutes to get there.
So here I am sitting with two completely black and blue eyes, a busted lip, swollen face,massive knots on my head and bruises all over. I don’t know what happened to my life or how I got here but here I am. I can’t even look my neighbors in the eyes. I can’t go outside without seeing the shocked faces of people.
I have never felt so ashamed, so humiliated, so hurt and so utterly stupid. I thought I made all the right choices in life. What did I do wrong? When did it all get so fucked? I mean I think I did everything right? Like I created a stable life for myself then picked a man that at time was a very loving partner, I married that man and waited five years before even going through the process of having children with him and now once I’ve had his children he’s just beating on me and our babies?
Edit: My sister is now aware of what’s been happening and she is supporting me as best as she can. I have plans to move out but since I’m not working right now I need some time to save up.
His family is also aware. His family refused to believe that I saw him hurt our child but they can’t deny this attack now that they’ve seen my bruises. Also yes he was arrested and he was bailed out by his brother. He’s currently staying with his brother.
Relevant Comments:
I’m in contact with a dv organization that my lawyer has put me in contact with. I did have a locksmith come out and I have new locks. I also have a couple of safety locks for my windows, and security cameras around the house and I changed our security code but honestly he doesn’t give a shit.
He despite it all broke in and beat the living shit out of me.
Making the audio journal:
I really didn’t make my audio journal to use as evidence. I literally made it because he makes me feel like I’m insane! I never know which version of him I’ll get at any given time. I also keep my journal to keep track of what he says. Every conversation with him makes me lose grip of my fleeting sanity.
Leaving the house:
The biggest reason I haven’t left my home is because he would without a doubt say I abducted the children! I’m already withholding my children from him since I caught him hurting my six month old son.
On advice of my lawyer I have stayed put. It’s my best option for now and it shows that I’ve been reasonably measured in my actions.
Restraining order?
I am in the process of getting one.
Update Post 3: April 25, 2024 (15 days later, almost 6 weeks from OG post)
Title: It was all for the love of another woman? Who barely knew of his existence? He (42m) hurt my (36f) children to further his own selfish desires
I say all of this without exaggeration. I am certain he was getting ready to kill us. After nearly 8 months of turmoil I’m finally close to understanding.
My soon to be ex husband is in love with a woman he came across on social media and he has been obsessing over her for at least a year. She also happens to be a sex worker and he was paying her for her time and attention. In his mind he believed they could have a future together if only he could get rid of my children and me. Even though this woman gave him no inkling that she even wanted to be with him. He has spent so much of our money on this woman. I am at a loss for words that could accurately describe the situation. I can barely believe half of the things he’s been up to.
I’ve spent the past few weeks playing detective and I finally decided to contact “Jessica”. This is obviously not her name but I need to call her something. I contacted Jessica and at first she was very reluctant to speak to me but I literally begged her to and she was kind enough to get on the phone with me.
She told me that she had been seeing him for awhile but she stopped seeing him because he started to scare her. He was sending her unhinged messages and voicemails. He had been stalking her and trying to convince her to be with him. Jessica eventually stopped seeing him and had him blocked and I guess this is when he started to escalate from emotional abuse to physically abusing my children and myself. He was looking for a way out and in his crazy mind, killing us would free him because the only reason Jessica wouldn’t be with him was because me and my children were in the way.
During our long call I also explained to Jessica what had been happening to me and she was genuinely kind and helpful. She also agreed to speak to my lawyer and to send them the thousands of unhinged texts, voicemails and voice notes he sent her. For a little while after our conversation a part of me genuinely hated Jessica and wanted to blame her for everything but the rational part of me pushed out those unreasonable and dangerous thoughts especially after I read his disturbing texts and heard his voicemail/notes to Jessica. She has also been victimized by him.
Honestly there is nothing like listening to your husband and father of your children talk about how you and your children mean nothing to him and how he wishes you were dead. He could’ve just asked for a divorce or just got up and left. I sent him a few texts asking him why? (this was a one time thing and since then I’ve stopped all contact) Why do all of this? Why torment my babies? Why not just walk away? He responded with a message saying any conversation between us should be through our lawyers. His parents have him lawyered up. They know what he’s been up to and they’ve chosen to protect him. His father came to see me and in a not so direct way suggested he could pay me if I stopped talking about what his son has done and was planning on doing. Ever since he broke into the house and pretty much tried to kill me I’ve told anyone who’d listen what he has done. At this point even his colleagues know.
Relevant Comments:
I have emergency custody of my kids and a protective order. I’m in the process of getting two trained guard dogs haven’t gotten very far though and I have a security system.
I’m also seriously considering a gun. More than seriously actually I’ve applied for a permit. Of course I do plan on taking lessons in gun safety and training.
Be careful with the dogs, he may just kill them:
He probably would but the few seconds to minutes he needs in order to do that is perhaps the chance I need to save my children and myself.
This may seem horrible to you but I rather have them as a buffer then my children getting harmed. I of course don’t want this to happen but I’m in a situation now where I need to do everything I can to protect my children.
His parents:
Oh they really are bastards and refuse to believe their precious son could ever do the things he’s done despite the fact that I installed security cameras after I caught him abusing my babies and despite the fact that my neighbors have signed witness statements attesting to the fact that they saw him break into my house and attack me. They’ve seen the police report. They’ve seen the pictures of my battered face and bruised body. They are feigning ignorance but they know, and I know they know.
You don't want to give him ammunition in the divorce- maybe stop telling people?
Actually me telling people has been the best thing I’ve done so far. It’s what has kept me safe. My neighbors now look out for his car and call the police if they see he’s anywhere near the house.
What was he like before all of this? Were there any signs?
We’ve been married for nearly 8 years. Will actually be 8 years in 2 months. We never had any issues. Sure we had minor squabbles but that was few and far in between. Never did I have any issues that would lead me to think that he’d try to hurt us let alone kill us.
It was during my pregnancy and birth that he became verbally and emotionally abusive, this is also the time period he met Jessica and started fantasizing about running away with her. He was angry and jealous that my attention was more on the pregnancy and the babies and this built resentment towards me and my children. It also pushed him more into his obsession with Jessica and when he was also rejected by her, he spiraled into this insane mindset. At the same time he escalated into verbally and physically abusing our infant children and when I found out he hurt my children, I attacked him. I caught him hurting my son and we physically fought and my neighbors called the police and he was escorted out of the house. Then he came back and broke into the house, he attacked me and beat me into a bloody mess. He was arrested for this. I’ve since attained a lawyer and I’ve been granted emergency custody and a protective order.
Again- why isn't he in jail?
He’s out on bail.
Update Post 3: May 11, 2024 (2+ weeks later)
Editor's note: This post was deleted by reddit. I have transcribed it from this youtube video and this tiktok video
Title: My (36f) husband (42m) has been arrested for stalking and attempting to abduct his former “mistress”.
Last week Thursday at approximately 2:00 AM in the morning, my (36F) husband (42m) of nearly 8 years was arrested outside of Jessica's house, (the sex worker he met online and used to pay to spend time with him until he started to creep her out by his stalking and obsession.)
When he was arrested, they found in his truck small baggies with drug residue and they also found tools of abduction. I honestly do not know what these are exactly.
My soon to be ex FIL called me at around 4:45/4:50 AM to tell me that his son was arrested. My FIL was the one who used the term tools of abduction. When I asked him what the hell that means, he said he didn't have time for my interrogation tactics. He then asked if I could help them find a lawyer for him and to stand by his son throughout all of this. When I said to him "how the hell am I supposed to find a lawyer this early in the morning," he lost his shit and then was just screaming.
My soon to be ex MIL took over the phone, telling me that I'm a goddamn b****, and that all this is my fault. I hung up before she could say anymore.
I never knew this man to take drugs. Sure, he drank occasionally, but hard drugs? I honestly don't know what's happening anymore or how I got here. I mean it does make sense he was on cocaine the past 7/8 months now that I look back at things.
I mean, I don't even know anything about drugs to be able to recognize the behavior pattern, but once I researched it, it seemed clear. The moodiness, the disappearances, the lies, the anger, the sudden outburst and the violence- it all points to drug usage, as well as him being an abusive piece of shit.
His parents and the rest of his family had called and texted me so much abusive shit and they occasionally switched to begging me to go see him or pick up his calls, but I've mainly ignored them. I don't have the time, the energy or the love that is needed to be there for this man and his parents. I've given him eight years of my love and affection, and he spat it back into my face during the hardest and most vulnerable time of my life
Also, why would they think I'd help him after everything he's done? Especially since I think he deserves to be in jail for not only hurting my children, but also for hurting myself and Jessica.
I hope and pray he's jailed for the rest of his natural life. I mean I've tried being a good wife, but he has attacked my children. He has attacked me. He has lied and tormented us, and I'm supposed to help him?
I don't even know how I got here. How did we get here?
I've packed everything up and I'm leaving. I'm disappearing with my kids, and anything else between me and these people can be handled through my lawyer. The only person who knows where I'm moving to is my lawyer and my sister. I mean what else can I do to protect my children? His entire family blames me. And how do I keep my head high when I'm now being treated like I'm an evil and disgusting person by pretty much everyone I once called a family? These people are trying to destroy me inside and out, and I don't know how to survive them. How am I supposed to rebuild my life when they won't stop tormenting me?
In less than a year of their birth, I've managed to fail my children...
TLDR: My soon to be ex-husband was arrested while stalking his former mistress/sex worker and during his arrest they found drug residue and tools for abduction
Relevant Comments:
Change your surname/the kids' surnames:
My kids and I have double-barreled surnames (my surname and their dads) but when I can we will drop his and we’ll all go by just mine.
People blaming OOP:
The sad fucking thing it’s not only his parents. It seems like everyone is blaming me.
OOP's response to a crappy (now deleted) comment:
“ You need to discover the reasons why you failed to notice or do anything about everything that was going on with him. You have to build skills so you can take full ownership over your own life.”
This genuinely has me fucking raging right now! I feel like everyone keeps blaming me!
And I don’t know why everyone keeps blaming me for his shit! We didn’t have any problems in the previous 7 years of our marriage. He started doing drugs during my pregnancy and this is when he started to behave abnormally. I tried to get him help because I thought it was depression or the stress of being a new parent.
When I noticed his irritablity, combativeness and generally shitty behavior was more than just depression or jealousy of me spending more time with my new born children, I kicked him out, I got a lawyer and involved the police because there no way in hell I’d stay with someone who hurt my children or let him get away with it and I also made sure to get emergency custody of my children. This is also around the same time when he spiralled into using more drugs. I don’t know what else I could’ve done but I know I took all the right steps when I noticed his escalation!
I’m so sick of everyone acting like I was making him do drugs and like I’m suppose to know that he’d ruin my life after having had a good marriage before he started taking drugs and going out of his mind.
What has your lawyer said about disappearing?
I currently have emergency custody. My lawyer is the one who suggested to disappear (meaning moving to new house and not letting anyone know) because she says this is a time of great danger and I heartily agree. Since my ex-husband first went to look for me at the house but me and my children went to stay somewhere else for a few days because I was scared he’d come back after he broke into the house previously and attacked me.

Me(21f) and my ex boyfriend (20m) broke up last year around May 2023 and have tried to get back together but ultimately ended everything by early December 2023. We were first loves and had many issues come to surface throughout the time of our relationship. At times he was hard to vent to and express my feelings to. I was going through really rough grief and then emotional abuse from my dad so I acted out a lot and I feel like he was avoidant and dismissive of issues so it was never great communication around that time and pretty much an inevitable split. So we had just built up resentment for how we dealt with things and he said a reason why he didn’t want me anymore was because I tried to date when we broke up.
Shortcut to that December when we got done trying to make it work my friends tell me that he’s seeing someone new and at first I was very upset but I ultimately understood that it was gonna happen at some point. I hear from my roommate who was actually friends with his new gf that she was saying a lot of bad things about me and saying I was unstable and crazy and a lot of other stuff. I was very confused about this bc I had never met her but I knew deep down that it was my ex telling her all the personal things and making it seem like it was all just me. This sort of taunting continued for a while at the gym where she would follow me into the bathroom and just be in the corner, she would follow me on social media but I would quickly remove her, them both staring at me in dining halls, and just odd behavior in general.
Last night I accidentally clicked on our friends(a mutual of me and ex) Instagram likes and I see his account. I’ve been blocked since December of last year so I was pretty shocked so I look to go see on basically all my accounts that I had and everything unblocked. I didn’t really do anything after that point until like 30 minutes later, I decided to block since I couldn’t do anything months ago since I was blocked first, I realized that he had posted him and his gf and then soon after just blocked me back on absolutely everything. I can’t truly imagine all the possibilities that he did that for but what do yall think? Did he just want a reaction out of me?

So I'm not sure how to even go about telling this tale. It's something I've never even tried to do, not from the beginning, at least. I guess we'll start with how I first fell in love. I was young. 18. I'd never had a boyfriend, never had a boy look twice at me, at least to my knowledge. So my first love became the boy I was around so often. My brother's best friend at the time. Sick, I know. He was the first boy to ever show me affection. The first guy that ever made me feel sexy and beautiful. I fell slowly bit by agonizing bit. He held back for the longest time for a noble reason, I thought. He cared for me, but he and my brother were so close. I went down the route of okay, well, then let's just have sex. Nothing more. I was 18 and still a virgin. He would say things like, "I can't do that. I can't use you. I'd break you anyways you couldn't handle it." Funny, looking back, it was all its own little lore. Long story short, we finally had sex. Life moved forward, and I fell in love, and I thought maybe he was too. I was wrong. If you hadn't already guessed. I became a toy, for I'd say a year, maybe 2. Every day, I begged and asked, "Can't we just be together? You care about me. You say you do. So let's just be together. Let's tell everyone, " And each day I was met with a fight. "We're not together. We never will be!" Time went by, and this fight became the norm. And fights about me talking to other guys' fights about me not coming around when he wanted. I never got to come when I wanted. I only came when called. Like a dog. Again, time passed. The cycle continued. Drugs got involved, which only made things worse. I felt neglected. I talked to people everyone told me to move on. So I did every so slightly. I fucked my other brothers best friend. Great sister here. Trust me, I know. Of Crouse, the foray guy found out, and things got crazy. he threatened me. I got scared and called my sister in law aka my very best friend. She saved me that night. And for my best guess, about 4 years, we never spoke he left me be. He moved on. after making my life mental torture for 2 years, it was like I disappeared. Which was fine, really better than you'd ever expect. my sister in law threatened him, of course, so maybe that had something to do with it, and he was intensely afraid of my brothers. And so again, time passed, and I dated other people. Nothing ever worked out. All of them as painful as last and just as filled with bad choices. All until one summer, he came back. Last summer, I was beginning again. Like I've done so many times. I was back at my first job again looking for a fresh start from the beginning. That's when I heard from him for the first time in a long time. My brother and he had stopped being friends maybe a year before. My brother called him manipulative and a dick to say the least. But when he contacted me, I felt things had changed. That he had finally changed and for the better. the fact he was contacting me again wanting me back, I thought it was fate. I'd be with my first love, the man who took everything from me, we'd get married and be together. The whole time yard's. Fucking stupid that's what I was. What I am.. We fell back together slowly but surly. I fell in love, and he got control. The summer passed in a wave of drugs. He never told me he loved me he never put forth any effort to be near my family. All he wanted was control over me. He shrunk away at the idea of coming to my home being near my brother he ex best friend and my roommate. Time passed, and I realized I wasn't much more than a bank for him. I'd forgotten to mention in the time we spent apart he hadn't worked for 4 years. His mom took care of it all. I did everything I could. I was there all the time I made food, I cleaned the house, and I kept his dog fed. I tried to show him everything. It never mattered. The only thing that mattered was how I "cheated" on him all those years ago. I had never thought of it as cheating seeing as he said we weren't together and loved to talk about how hot other girls were. He would bring up past relationships while he and I weren't together like I got with these people just to antagonize him. So as summer went on, I got exhausted. So fucking exhausted how do you show someone you love them when all they see are the faults? He well really I can't just blame him, but we drained my bank account buying drugs. I got tired of it, and I left. I told him to leave me, be that I was done being used. This was around Thanksgiving. He didn't take it well. I blocked him after about the 30th message. That didn't stop him he messaged through friends Facebook or with their phone numbers. I blocked so many people. But it didn't stop the messages kept coming. And so by Christmas, I caved. Don't know why he'd admitted to coming out and driving by my house told me how he could see my Christmas tree in my window. And still I caved. Because who would do this for someone they didn't love? Who would keep trying for someone they wanted to treat badly? I got my answer. I went back only to be accused of cheating and lying. He'd call me a bitch and whore and a cunt. He'd done all this in the messages, too, before the begging started. I should've listened and not fallen for the begging. But he'd tell me all I wanted to hear how he loved me and wanted to be with me wanted my kids. So I fell for this over and over and over again. Until not long ago just a few months I tried to leave, and we got into a fight. I wanted to go with him to ride with his friends. He didn't want me to. Would've been fine with that honestly but as soon as he saw I was disappointed the fight started. I tried to leave his home. we yelled his neighbors threatened to call the police. I ran he hit my car tried to yank the doors open. Once I finally thought I'd gotten away he started chasing me. Chased me down his road at probably 70 in a 45 mind you and swerved in front of me almost wrecking us both. He proceeded to get out of the car ignoring me sobbing and started screaming at me through the window and asking me to come back. Once I agreed he proceeded to do burnouts in front of me. I followed him back he took me riding with his friends I got what I wanted in the end I guess. But after this I got scared. If you can do that what else can you do? I left again not long later because it just didn't seem to matter what I did. nothing was enough. I left I blocked him. It wasn't enough he found ways to contact me. And today he contacted family of mine to get ahold of me. He waited out near my house by a restaurant and followed me home. I ran I didn't know what to do I didn't want him and my brother to get into a fight because no matter what, I still somehow care about him. He stopped me in the middle of the road wouldn't leave until I agreed to unblock him and to give him a hug. I feel disgusting he kissed me. I want him to leave me alone. I know this is my fault I led him on again and again by coming back. I just wanted him to change. I wanted him to love me. I just wasn't enough and I won't be ever. Why won't he just let me go? He could move on and find someone new to use. I know I have a problem too I've gone back again and again and made it normal for him. I just want to be free now though this has gone on so long. I know he doesn't love me I just don't know how he can say it when he doesn't. I'm not sure what I'm really asking for here maybe validation or maybe just encouragement that I'm doing the right thing. I coukd go into more detail really he's done so much to me but it's hard looking back. I just I really need to know that me leaving is the right thing.

So I'm not sure how to even go about telling this tale. It's something I've never even tried to do, not from the beginning, at least. I guess we'll start with how I first fell in love. I was young. 18. I'd never had a boyfriend, never had a boy look twice at me, at least to my knowledge. So my first love became the boy I was around so often. My brother's best friend at the time. Sick, I know. He was the first boy to ever show me affection. The first guy that ever made me feel sexy and beautiful. I fell slowly bit by agonizing bit. He held back for the longest time for a noble reason, I thought. He cared for me, but he and my brother were so close. I went down the route of okay, well, then let's just have sex. Nothing more. I was 18 and still a virgin. He would say things like, "I can't do that. I can't use you. I'd break you anyways you couldn't handle it." Funny, looking back, it was all its own little lore. Long story short, we finally had sex. Life moved forward, and I fell in love, and I thought maybe he was too. I was wrong. If you hadn't already guessed. I became a toy, for I'd say a year, maybe 2. Every day, I begged and asked, "Can't we just be together? You care about me. You say you do. So let's just be together. Let's tell everyone, " And each day I was met with a fight. "We're not together. We never will be!" Time went by, and this fight became the norm. And fights about me talking to other guys' fights about me not coming around when he wanted. I never got to come when I wanted. I only came when called. Like a dog. Again, time passed. The cycle continued. Drugs got involved, which only made things worse. I felt neglected. I talked to people everyone told me to move on. So I did every so slightly. I fucked my other brothers best friend. Great sister here. Trust me, I know. Of Crouse, the foray guy found out, and things got crazy. he threatened me. I got scared and called my sister in law aka my very best friend. She saved me that night. And for my best guess, about 4 years, we never spoke he left me be. He moved on. after making my life mental torture for 2 years, it was like I disappeared. Which was fine, really better than you'd ever expect. my sister in law threatened him, of course, so maybe that had something to do with it, and he was intensely afraid of my brothers. And so again, time passed, and I dated other people. Nothing ever worked out. All of them as painful as last and just as filled with bad choices. All until one summer, he came back. Last summer, I was beginning again. Like I've done so many times. I was back at my first job again looking for a fresh start from the beginning. That's when I heard from him for the first time in a long time. My brother and he had stopped being friends maybe a year before. My brother called him manipulative and a dick to say the least. But when he contacted me, I felt things had changed. That he had finally changed and for the better. the fact he was contacting me again wanting me back, I thought it was fate. I'd be with my first love, the man who took everything from me, we'd get married and be together. The whole time yard's. Fucking stupid that's what I was. What I am.. We fell back together slowly but surly. I fell in love, and he got control. The summer passed in a wave of drugs. He never told me he loved me he never put forth any effort to be near my family. All he wanted was control over me. He shrunk away at the idea of coming to my home being near my brother he ex best friend and my roommate. Time passed, and I realized I wasn't much more than a bank for him. I'd forgotten to mention in the time we spent apart he hadn't worked for 4 years. His mom took care of it all. I did everything I could. I was there all the time I made food, I cleaned the house, and I kept his dog fed. I tried to show him everything. It never mattered. The only thing that mattered was how I "cheated" on him all those years ago. I had never thought of it as cheating seeing as he said we weren't together and loved to talk about how hot other girls were. He would bring up past relationships while he and I weren't together like I got with these people just to antagonize him. So as summer went on, I got exhausted. So fucking exhausted how do you show someone you love them when all they see are the faults? He well really I can't just blame him, but we drained my bank account buying drugs. I got tired of it, and I left. I told him to leave me, be that I was done being used. This was around Thanksgiving. He didn't take it well. I blocked him after about the 30th message. That didn't stop him he messaged through friends Facebook or with their phone numbers. I blocked so many people. But it didn't stop the messages kept coming. And so by Christmas, I caved. Don't know why he'd admitted to coming out and driving by my house told me how he could see my Christmas tree in my window. And still I caved. Because who would do this for someone they didn't love? Who would keep trying for someone they wanted to treat badly? I got my answer. I went back only to be accused of cheating and lying. He'd call me a bitch and whore and a cunt. He'd done all this in the messages, too, before the begging started. I should've listened and not fallen for the begging. But he'd tell me all I wanted to hear how he loved me and wanted to be with me wanted my kids. So I fell for this over and over and over again. Until not long ago just a few months I tried to leave, and we got into a fight. I wanted to go with him to ride with his friends. He didn't want me to. Would've been fine with that honestly but as soon as he saw I was disappointed the fight started. I tried to leave his home. we yelled his neighbors threatened to call the police. I ran he hit my car tried to yank the doors open. Once I finally thought I'd gotten away he started chasing me. Chased me down his road at probably 70 in a 45 mind you and swerved in front of me almost wrecking us both. He proceeded to get out of the car ignoring me sobbing and started screaming at me through the window and asking me to come back. Once I agreed he proceeded to do burnouts in front of me. I followed him back he took me riding with his friends I got what I wanted in the end I guess. But after this I got scared. If you can do that what else can you do? I left again not long later because it just didn't seem to matter what I did. nothing was enough. I left I blocked him. It wasn't enough he found ways to contact me. And today he contacted family of mine to get ahold of me. He waited out near my house by a restaurant and followed me home. I ran I didn't know what to do I didn't want him and my brother to get into a fight because no matter what, I still somehow care about him. He stopped me in the middle of the road wouldn't leave until I agreed to unblock him and to give him a hug. I feel disgusting he kissed me. I want him to leave me alone. I know this is my fault I led him on again and again by coming back. I just wanted him to change. I wanted him to love me. I just wasn't enough and I won't be ever. Why won't he just let me go? He could move on and find someone new to use. I know I have a problem too I've gone back again and again and made it normal for him. I just want to be free now though this has gone on so long. I know he doesn't love me I just don't know how he can say it when he doesn't. I'm not sure what I'm really asking for here maybe validation or maybe just encouragement that I'm doing the right thing. I coukd go into more detail really he's done so much to me but it's hard looking back. I just I really need to know that me leaving is the right thing.

So I'm not sure how to even go about telling this tale. It's something I've never even tried to do, not from the beginning, at least. I guess we'll start with how I first fell in love. I was young. 18. I'd never had a boyfriend, never had a boy look twice at me, at least to my knowledge. So my first love became the boy I was around so often. My brother's best friend at the time. Sick, I know. He was the first boy to ever show me affection. The first guy that ever made me feel sexy and beautiful. I fell slowly bit by agonizing bit. He held back for the longest time for a noble reason, I thought. He cared for me, but he and my brother were so close. I went down the route of okay, well, then let's just have sex. Nothing more. I was 18 and still a virgin. He would say things like, "I can't do that. I can't use you. I'd break you anyways you couldn't handle it." Funny, looking back, it was all its own little lore. Long story short, we finally had sex. Life moved forward, and I fell in love, and I thought maybe he was too. I was wrong. If you hadn't already guessed. I became a toy, for I'd say a year, maybe 2. Every day, I begged and asked, "Can't we just be together? You care about me. You say you do. So let's just be together. Let's tell everyone, " And each day I was met with a fight. "We're not together. We never will be!" Time went by, and this fight became the norm. And fights about me talking to other guys' fights about me not coming around when he wanted. I never got to come when I wanted. I only came when called. Like a dog. Again, time passed. The cycle continued. Drugs got involved, which only made things worse. I felt neglected. I talked to people everyone told me to move on. So I did every so slightly. I fucked my other brothers best friend. Great sister here. Trust me, I know. Of Crouse, the foray guy found out, and things got crazy. he threatened me. I got scared and called my sister in law aka my very best friend. She saved me that night. And for my best guess, about 4 years, we never spoke he left me be. He moved on. after making my life mental torture for 2 years, it was like I disappeared. Which was fine, really better than you'd ever expect. my sister in law threatened him, of course, so maybe that had something to do with it, and he was intensely afraid of my brothers. And so again, time passed, and I dated other people. Nothing ever worked out. All of them as painful as last and just as filled with bad choices. All until one summer, he came back. Last summer, I was beginning again. Like I've done so many times. I was back at my first job again looking for a fresh start from the beginning. That's when I heard from him for the first time in a long time. My brother and he had stopped being friends maybe a year before. My brother called him manipulative and a dick to say the least. But when he contacted me, I felt things had changed. That he had finally changed and for the better. the fact he was contacting me again wanting me back, I thought it was fate. I'd be with my first love, the man who took everything from me, we'd get married and be together. The whole time yard's. Fucking stupid that's what I was. What I am.. We fell back together slowly but surly. I fell in love, and he got control. The summer passed in a wave of drugs. He never told me he loved me he never put forth any effort to be near my family. All he wanted was control over me. He shrunk away at the idea of coming to my home being near my brother he ex best friend and my roommate. Time passed, and I realized I wasn't much more than a bank for him. I'd forgotten to mention in the time we spent apart he hadn't worked for 4 years. His mom took care of it all. I did everything I could. I was there all the time I made food, I cleaned the house, and I kept his dog fed. I tried to show him everything. It never mattered. The only thing that mattered was how I "cheated" on him all those years ago. I had never thought of it as cheating seeing as he said we weren't together and loved to talk about how hot other girls were. He would bring up past relationships while he and I weren't together like I got with these people just to antagonize him. So as summer went on, I got exhausted. So fucking exhausted how do you show someone you love them when all they see are the faults? He well really I can't just blame him, but we drained my bank account buying drugs. I got tired of it, and I left. I told him to leave me, be that I was done being used. This was around Thanksgiving. He didn't take it well. I blocked him after about the 30th message. That didn't stop him he messaged through friends Facebook or with their phone numbers. I blocked so many people. But it didn't stop the messages kept coming. And so by Christmas, I caved. Don't know why he'd admitted to coming out and driving by my house told me how he could see my Christmas tree in my window. And still I caved. Because who would do this for someone they didn't love? Who would keep trying for someone they wanted to treat badly? I got my answer. I went back only to be accused of cheating and lying. He'd call me a bitch and whore and a cunt. He'd done all this in the messages, too, before the begging started. I should've listened and not fallen for the begging. But he'd tell me all I wanted to hear how he loved me and wanted to be with me wanted my kids. So I fell for this over and over and over again. Until not long ago just a few months I tried to leave, and we got into a fight. I wanted to go with him to ride with his friends. He didn't want me to. Would've been fine with that honestly but as soon as he saw I was disappointed the fight started. I tried to leave his home. we yelled his neighbors threatened to call the police. I ran he hit my car tried to yank the doors open. Once I finally thought I'd gotten away he started chasing me. Chased me down his road at probably 70 in a 45 mind you and swerved in front of me almost wrecking us both. He proceeded to get out of the car ignoring me sobbing and started screaming at me through the window and asking me to come back. Once I agreed he proceeded to do burnouts in front of me. I followed him back he took me riding with his friends I got what I wanted in the end I guess. But after this I got scared. If you can do that what else can you do? I left again not long later because it just didn't seem to matter what I did. nothing was enough. I left I blocked him. It wasn't enough he found ways to contact me. And today he contacted family of mine to get ahold of me. He waited out near my house by a restaurant and followed me home. I ran I didn't know what to do I didn't want him and my brother to get into a fight because no matter what, I still somehow care about him. He stopped me in the middle of the road wouldn't leave until I agreed to unblock him and to give him a hug. I feel disgusting he kissed me. I want him to leave me alone. I know this is my fault I led him on again and again by coming back. I just wanted him to change. I wanted him to love me. I just wasn't enough and I won't be ever. Why won't he just let me go? He could move on and find someone new to use. I know I have a problem too I've gone back again and again and made it normal for him. I just want to be free now though this has gone on so long. I know he doesn't love me I just don't know how he can say it when he doesn't. I'm not sure what I'm really asking for here maybe validation or maybe just encouragement that I'm doing the right thing. I coukd go into more detail really he's done so much to me but it's hard looking back. I just I really need to know that me leaving is the right thing.

How do I forget?
It’s pathetic, but I need help
intentionally vague cause you never know
I’m just fucked up and depressed. I’ve never written this story all the way out but fuck it here it goes because it’s driving me insane and I don’t have anyone to talk to about it. I dated this girl she was my first everything and I found out while we were dating that she texted multiple dudes and sent them pictures of her in her bra and shit. We get into a bunch of arguments and don’t end up talking for two years. She had me blocked for two years straight (looking back shoulda been my first clue I didn’t matter). She hits me up again two years later and basically starts calling me and talking to me everyday. Find out she’s hooked up with a bunch of dudes ( or so she said) We also start talking about what we’ve been doing and the past and shit. I won’t lie it felt great talking to her again. I missed her even though I was angry that entire time. During the time she was calling me again I would intentionally ignore her a lot of the time cause I knew it was wrong. Eventually like two months later she gets a bf. Stops hitting me up altogether but she doesn’t delete me. And I didn’t have the heart to delete her because in my mind I couldn’t be mad cause we weren’t together. She breaks up with this guy and we start talking again. I’m home a few months and I still don’t go out of my way to pick up. She calls me everyday and asks me why I don’t wanna talk to her. And that was because I saw that her ex was commenting under her post and shit. And I know her and him share the same mutual friend. My friends tell me I shouldn’t care because if she’s trying to talk to me all the time obviously it’s cause she has feelings (I was foolish for listening). But I still kept my distance and kept it sparse. A week goes by and I don’t hear from her and I see she went on live. I join and she says hi and tells me to say hi back. I hear a dude and a girl in the background and I know the guy is her ex. At this point the dude says something I can’t make out and she replies with: “He is gay” I thought she was talking about me and got pissed and left. I joined the live again a few seconds after I left and I see her say: oh shit (my name) left and she begins laughing for some reason. I immediately leave cause I feel sick. I block her on everything and drink til I black THE FUCK out. The next day I wake up to a text message. It was her asking why I blocked her on everything? I didn’t respond. She blocked me back. She and the dude got back together not long after and it’s been two years. She unblocked me again but never texted me or anything. And I got a good feeling she never will again. I’m an idiot and looking back I deserved this cause I kept speaking to her. How do I just…forget? TL;DR: Girl I lost my virginity to used me til she could get with the guy she actually wanted.