Hello everyone. My boyfriend (M23) and I (F20) have been together for over 2 years. He is my first serious boyfriend, and he treats me so well. He has so many great qualities, and he is my exact type. We moved in together one year ago, and it’s been going well. We live in a very expensive area, which we are able to afford due to his well-paying job. He got me out of a bad situation with my family, where I wasn’t being fed properly and was emotionally abused daily. I have a better relationship with my parents now that I am out of that house, but I still need distance from them. My dad and I used to be extremely close, but now we rarely talk to one another. My mom and I talk weekly, so I’m glad I have that with her. My boyfriend has an amazing family. They are the family that I wish I was a part of while growing up. His parents are so sweet and supportive of us. His mom and I are like best friends, and I love talking to her. His dad is so helpful and always gives me good life advice.
My boyfriend introduced his uncle to me when we were one year into dating. I will call him Ned. I remember the first time I met Ned. I came over to say hello, and we made eye contact, and my heart was racing. I thought he was one of the most handsome men I had ever seen in my life. He and my boyfriend look so much alike. Ned has such a confident and attractive demeanor. He has a high-paying job and loves traveling and doing adventurous things. He has always been friendly to me, greeting me with hugs. He calls me cute and was making lots of eye contact the first time we met. Flash forward to a year later, and my boyfriend and I decided to move in together, and the area we live in is about an hour's drive away from Ned and his family. So when my boyfriend and I drove down with all our belongings in our cars, Ned offered for us to spend the weekend at his house and for me to meet his family. They live in a mansion and are very well off.
Ned has a pretty and cool wife, whom I believe is in her 30s, who is hardworking and has an amazing business. He also has two beautiful children under the age of ten that I adore. I hit it off with his family; they immediately reminded me of the family I want to have one day. The entire weekend, his uncle was making eye contact with me, calling me beautiful and cute. Flash forward to six months later. Ned visits my boyfriend and I at our place, where my boyfriend and I smoke with him and just relax and banter with one another. Ned kept going off about how much my boyfriend’s family loves me and how beautiful I am. Ned also brought up how big his thing is compared to my boyfriend, to which I gasped and looked over at my boyfriend, who was dying of laughter.
Flash forward to six months later. My boyfriend's entire family comes over to Ned’s house to have a boat day. Everyone was there except Ned's wife, and the entire time he was touching me by the shoulder and hand again, giving me alcohol, making lots of eye contact, and I even caught him looking at me, to which he looked away. He always comes up to me to start a conversation and get to know me better. He hands me glasses filled to the brim with wine and touches my hand so caressingly. I don’t think much of it, and while this happens, The morning of the boat ride, we get on the boat, and Ned introduces me to friends of his and once again gives me alcohol. My boyfriend is very close with his uncle, and they get along so well. Ned made a joke about how many fingers it takes to get inside a woman, to which my boyfriend just laughed.
I’m playing with his kids the entire time, and Ned comments that I would be an amazing mom and that I am so good with them. He took lots of pictures of me and the kids, as well as pictures of me when I wasn't looking. We get back to the house to eat, and I catch him constantly staring at me once again. My boyfriend and I then leave. A week later, Ned texted my boyfriend to go have sex with me so that he could use our streaming service to watch a game since we were using it, and this caught me by surprise. We went to visit Ned and his family a week later to watch a game, and Ned’s wife was there. Whenever she is around, Ned is not flirtatious with me at all and tries to cut conversations short. He still makes lots of eye contact with me, asks for my age, and gives me plenty of alcohol.
I think Ned’s wife notices him staring at me and laughing with me, to which she gives me dirty looks and makes rude remarks. I made an inside joke with my boyfriend, asking if he recognized some songs that were playing "in the streets," to which Ned's wife replied, saying I was trying to act "ghetto" and giving me dirty looks, which made me pause and go silent the rest of the night. We finally leave, and my boyfriend tells me that Ned was married three times and that his wife is not affectionate towards him and the kids that much, and she can’t relax. Ever since then, I can’t stop thinking about Ned. He is on my mind 24/7. He is twice my age, and I dream about him constantly and have sexual thoughts about him. I would never hurt my boyfriend and his family, whom I adore. But I can’t get Ned out of my head. What do I do?
TL;DR: I love my boyfriend, but I cannot stop thinking about his uncle, and I have a massive crush on him. What do I do?

Here's the stuff you'd want to know about me before chatting.
I'm child free because I refuse to put another human into this increasingly dark world. I don't want them to have my anxiety or Asperger's. I have an existentialist belief system. So I decided that I want to spend the rest of my life focusing on myself and hopefully my future partner - whoever that may be.
RECENT PIC
Yes. Me bald. You can rub my head for good luck. If the cure for baldness is ever discovered, I will hop right on that. I'm 6' tall for you height enthusiasts.
Personality-wise I am pretty boring in all honesty. Being someone who has ADHD, anxiety, and high functioning ASD, you can bet I am not a normal person. On top of that, having spent a freakish amount of time on the uncensored internet through my childhood desensitizing my mind, I'm fairly dead inside. If you can relate or sympathize, that is awesome.
I'm looking for a long term relationship. The kind where we eventually live together on dual income, have date night like every night, and just enjoy each other's love for as long as possible. I am VERY romantic and sappy when I start developing feelings. My love languages are physical touch and quality time spent together.
Hobbies include worrying about my future, browsing reddit, having a nearly empty fridge with a 1 year old jar of kimchi in it because it seemed healthy to buy at the time, and uh what else..? Music, Anime, Gaming (I was the highest ranks in CSGO AND RL so don't hate the hours yo), Coding, Lockpicking, Antique Restoration, and talking some shmack with the BOYS.
I appreciate many types of humor. Dark, cringe, observational, and surreal are my favs. I'm not easy to offend. And if you want, you can roast me in your opening message.
I like getting out too but I hate doing that alone. That's what you're for. Duh. 😙
I am open to a temporary LDR if your communication game is on point. I will be up front though. When I'm at work it is difficult to text very much because I work in a lead position and am extremely busy except when I'm taking a break. I also work in a highly USDA regulated environment and every time I touch my phone I need to sanitize or change my gloves before I touch anything else. I would make an effort to talk though. I work about 45 hours though so I have plenty of free time after work to spend actual quality time together.
Some things that are definitely important to me:

• Physical attraction. I'm gonna want to see a picture of you sooner rather than later pretty please. 🤗
• Politically liberal. We probably won't get along otherwise 😂.
• Monogamous. You can still call other guys hot on TV though.
• A sex drive. I'm not looking for someone asexual is all I'm saying.

Please message me only if you are truly interested and willing to date (or hop on a voice or video call if long distance). And don't get me wrong; I am not here to try and force a relationship faster than it needs to. In fact I'm in no rush at all. I just strongly believe that texting alone is not enough to develop into something meaningful.

Here's the stuff you'd want to know about me before chatting.
I'm child free because I refuse to put another human into this increasingly dark world. I don't want them to have my anxiety or Asperger's. I have an existentialist belief system. So I decided that I want to spend the rest of my life focusing on myself and hopefully my future partner - whoever that may be.
RECENT PIC
Yes. Me bald. You can rub my head for good luck. If the cure for baldness is ever discovered, I will hop right on that. I'm 6' tall for you height enthusiasts.
Personality-wise I am pretty boring in all honesty. Being someone who has ADHD, anxiety, and high functioning ASD, you can bet I am not a normal person. On top of that, having spent a freakish amount of time on the uncensored internet through my childhood desensitizing my mind, I'm fairly dead inside. If you can relate or sympathize, that is awesome.
I'm looking for a long term relationship. The kind where we eventually live together on dual income, have date night like every night, and just enjoy each other's love for as long as possible. I am VERY romantic and sappy when I start developing feelings. My love languages are physical touch and quality time spent together.
Hobbies include worrying about my future, browsing reddit, having a nearly empty fridge with a 1 year old jar of kimchi in it because it seemed healthy to buy at the time, and uh what else..? Music, Anime, Gaming (I was the highest ranks in CSGO AND RL so don't hate the hours yo), Coding, Lockpicking, Antique Restoration, and talking some shmack with the BOYS.
I appreciate many types of humor. Dark, cringe, observational, and surreal are my favs. I'm not easy to offend. And if you want, you can roast me in your opening message.
I like getting out too but I hate doing that alone. That's what you're for. Duh. 😙
I am open to a temporary LDR if your communication game is on point. I will be up front though. When I'm at work it is difficult to text very much because I work in a lead position and am extremely busy except when I'm taking a break. I also work in a highly USDA regulated environment and every time I touch my phone I need to sanitize or change my gloves before I touch anything else. I would make an effort to talk though. I work about 45 hours though so I have plenty of free time after work to spend actual quality time together.
Some things that are definitely important to me:

• Physical attraction. I'm gonna want to see a picture of you sooner rather than later pretty please. 🤗
• Politically liberal. We probably won't get along otherwise 😂.
• Monogamous. You can still call other guys hot on TV though.
• A sex drive. I'm not looking for someone asexual is all I'm saying.

Please message me only if you are truly interested and willing to date (or hop on a voice or video call if long distance). And don't get me wrong; I am not here to try and force a relationship faster than it needs to. In fact I'm in no rush at all. I just strongly believe that texting alone is not enough to develop into something meaningful.

Sorry for the long read but I’d appreciate your input! So to preface this, I am also a Rover sitter, but this is my first time ever using it for my two dogs and cat. Im not sure if I just have high standards because it is what I would do or if this sitter was just bad? To begin, we had a meet and greet and loved the sitter, loved her energy, she was great with the dogs and the cat and even works with a dog rescue. The only red flag at the time is that she was not too good at communicating through text (would take a day to respond to a text). But honestly I just thought maybe she was really busy. Fast forward to day of sit, we asked her to come at noon and then told her she was good to leave the next day at 3. She didn’t get there until one, which is completely fine but she just didn’t communicate that with me and i dont know I feel like that’s something I would just let the owner know. (maybe that’s a little high maintenance?) she was there for a few hours then she left at about 4:30. We have two cameras outside and one camera that faces the front door and a Furbo in the basement inside. We are able to see when she leaves and stuff but I even told her if the indoor ones make her uncomfortable she can turn them around or unplug them, just to plug them back in if she leaves. We were enjoying our trip when around 9pm we realized she hadn’t come back. We were a little nervous because their dinner time is at 6pm and they had been left alone for a long time. I waited about an hour then I texted her close to 10:30pm just checking in. I asked if she would be back soon or if I should have my neighbor go over and let them out since at that point it had been 6 hours since she left. She never responded to me, then I got a notification at 11:15ish from our cameras saying there was a person. I was relieved that she was back but she never texted me or anything so I went in to check the indoor camera to see if she had fed them (the camera shows part of the kitchen where their food is). I did see that she fed them before she left at 4pm. While I’m glad they were fed I left very detailed Instructions to feed them around 6pm and one of my dogs has separation anxiety, which we discussed, and she said she would stick to our schedule to provide consistency. Our dogs also eat at 12:30 am because one of our dogs will not eat all of his food in 2 meals and has to have it broken up a little, which she assured me was completely fine, I even told her she could just feed them before she goes to bed. At around 2am I went to check to see if she fed them their last meal and from what I could see they were not fed. I then checked the Furbo down stairs and she had fallen asleep on the couch. Another thing we had talked about is keeping their night time routine as our dog with separation anxiety is crate training and sleeps in her crate. She assured me in the meet and great once again that she would sleep in our bedroom to keep things consistent and that she was absolutely comfortable with this. ( I told her if not we could move the kennel into the guest room or where she wanted to sleep and she said no). Fast forward to the next morning when we wake up we check to make sure she fed them breakfast and she fed them at 4am which our instructions said 9-10am. She then leaves for three hours, comes back for a few hours then leaves again at 1:30pm. At this point I thought she had left for good and just ignored our agreed upon time of 3pm. I waited until around 4pm then I texted my neighbor to see if she could let the dogs out and literally 10 minutes later the sitter shows back up and sends me a text asking if she needs to feed them and sent some pictures. I just feel like this is kind of crazy…also on the dogs rover profiles I have the time they can be left alone as 1-4 hours. And we discussed how my dog with separation anxiety shouldn’t be left alone for more than 3-4. I feel terrible leaving a dog for 3 hours when I do house sits I just feel like this was crazy. She also never addressed my text about when she was coming back even though it said read on IMessage. She didn’t address anything at all just sent some pictures. Im really just upset about her lack of communication and the fact she was gone for 7 hours. Am I overreacting? Are my expectations set too high?

i (24 f) and my two friends, brenna 25f and gage 26 m, work at a sales firm alongside our coworker (25 f) who we'll call rachel. rachel, for as long as i remember, has always been one of the most miserable and insufferable people i have ever had the displeasure of meeting. a few weeks ago, gage, brenna and i were gossiping in the break room when he sat us down and revealed he was gay and had been sleeping with another one of our coworkers for a few months now. cut to last night, our boss threw the office a work party. while we were, all three of us made plans to get food at a local restaurant afterwards. i guess rachel overheard our conversation and asked if she could join. without wanting to start anything, we agreed. not 15 minutes later, the coworker gage was sleeping with pulled him aside to talk. gage returned in tears, asking if we could leave for dinner early, and without rachel. apparently, rachel had been eavesdropping on our conversation in the break room and brought it up to not only the coworker, but multiple other people in the office, including our boss. as soon as gage explained this, we immediately left, making sure she didnt see us. after a good while at the restaurant, i received a text from rachel, asking about where we were. now, ill admit, we had been drinking a bit since we were eating at a sports bar type place, so i just straight up told her we wer v already at the restaurant. she then asked if there was still time for her to meet us, to which i sent a picture of our empty plates and said, "you tell me." we got no response. i went home that night and went to sleep not thinking too much about it, but i woke up this morning to a surplus of texts from our other coworkers telling me that rachel told them everything and we "seriously took things too far." and that we should have handled things professionally but i thought that one text was seriously nothing compared to what she did to gage. am i justified in sending one petty text message?

Soo there’s this guy that liked me a few months ago, we were never really close but shared a few classes and laughs throughout the school year. I rejected him and said I wasn’t interested in dating (honestly didn’t even feel ready for it) and I just didn’t seem to picture myself with him. Lately he’s been texting me everyday, and since I see him at school daily it’s kind of awkward for me to ignore the messages and show up in his face (if that makes sense). To this point I had thought he didn’t like me anymore and just wanted to talk casually since after the rejection we hadn’t spoken at all so I replied and we’d have conversations of pretty much nothing deep or serious, just shows we watch, things like that. Sadly I can tell he still does like me after what seems to have been two weeks of us chatting. Now I don’t know what to do, should I ghost him again, or friendzone him in a way? I feel really bad for just now realizing that he still has feelings, but in my head I’d think after me turning him down he’d lose feelings and tried to start over as friends with no feelings whatsoever. He’s cool and all but honestly I don’t want to reject him at some point again because I’m just not trying to date at the moment, but I feel horrible and think I’m just leading him on “just because I can” when I just want to be friends without him having feelings. What should I do?

LATHANDER
The Morninglord, Commander of Creativity, Patron to Spring and Eternal Youth, Mentor of Self-Perfection, Bringer of the Dawn, Lord of Birth and Renewal
Greater Power of Elysium
Symbol Sunrise made of pink, red, and yellow gems, or a simple rosy pink disk
Realm Morninglory (Elysium/Eronia)
Alignment Neutral Good
Aliases none
Superior none (AO)
Allies Chauntea (lover), Deneir, Eldath, Gond, Ilmater, Kelemvor, Llira, Lurue, Mielikki, Milil, Oghma, Paladine, Selune, Siamorphe, Silvanus, Sune, Torm, Tyche (dead), Tymora, Tyr, Ushas
Foes Bane, Beshaba, Bhaal (dead), Cyric, Ibrandul (dead), Iyachtu Xvim (dead), Loviatar, Moander (dead), Myrkul (dead), Shar, Talona
Servants none
Servitor Creatures butterflies, celestials of all types, elysian dragons, hollyphants, radiant creatures, robins (normal and celestial), sanctified creatures, sun peacocks (normal and celestial), sunwyrms (good aligned only)
Manifestations an intense and rosy radiance that appears around objects to indicate special qualities or at confusing or dangerous junctures to indicate a safe or preferred path, and that causes those people it surrounds to be telekinetically pushed out of harmful situations, healed of all wounds, purged of any diseases, poisons, foreign objects, magical and nonmagical afflictions and deleterious effects, magical or psionic compulsions, fear, and curses, causes resurrection effects to be automatically successful, and transmits messages
Signs of Favor aster blossoms, an intense and rosy radiance with the same qualities as his manifestation, sun peacock feathers
Worshipers Aristocrats, artists, athletes, farmers, hunters of the undead, merchants, monks of the Sun Soul, peasants, performers, the youthful
Cleric Alignments LG, NG, CG
Specialty Priests Morninglord
Holy Days Midsummer morning, the mornings of the vernal and autumnal equinoxes
Important Ceremonies Song of Dawn; contracts, marriages and promises made at dawn, funerals for those not meant to be raised or resurrected
Portfolio Athletics, birth, creativity, dawn, renewal, self-perfection, spring, vitality, youth
Domains Community, Courage, Endurance, Good, Glory, Hope, Life, Protection, Radiance, Renewal, Strength, Zeal
Favored Weapon Dawnspeaker (heavy or light mace)

LATHANDER
Male Sentinel 20, Cleric 20, Morninglord 20, Master of Radiance 5
NG Medium Outsider (Extraplanar, Good)
Divine Rank 17
Init 44 (+16 Dex, +8 Superior Initiative); Senses 17-mile-radius; Listen 77, Spot 77; remote sensing (20 locations), portfolio sense
Aura divine aura (DC 78), courage (100 ft, +8 saves against fear), radiant 3/day; Languages can communicate with any living creature; Words of Creation
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AC 105, touch 57, flat-footed 95, undead 107 (+18 armor, +20 deflection, +10 Dex, +17 divine, +30 natural)
hp 1,860 (20d10 + 45d8 plus 1300); divine shield 23/day (170 hp); renewal 1/day (if fall below 0 but less than -10 hit points regain 1d8 +20 hp); DR 40/epic, evil and adamantine
Immune ability damage, ability drain, banishment, death effects, disease, disintegration, electricity, energy drain, fire, imprisonment, mind-affecting effects, paralysis, poison, rebuking, sleep, sonic, stunning, transmutation, and turning
Resist acid 37, cold 37; SR 81
Fort 111 Ref 101 Will 105; +2 against evil outsiders and undead, +4 against mind-affecting effects from evil outsiders, +5 against evil spells or spells from evil characters
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Speed 60 ft. (12 squares)
Melee dawnspeaker 115/110/105/100 (55 plus 18 fire plus 18 holy plus 1 negative level vs evil plus 48 vs evil outsiders and undead plus undead disruption [Fort DC 79 or die]/19-20/x2 plus 36 fire plus 36 holy plus 2 negative levels vs good plus death [Fort DC 79, evil outsiders and undead] plus undead disruption [Fort DC 79 or die]), +8 atk vs evil outsiders and undead; or
Melee spell 80 or
Ranged spell 76
Base Atk +43; Grp +63
Atk Options Awesome Smite, Cleave, Holy Potency, Power Attack; smite evil 24/day (+20 atk, +455 damage)
Special Actions alter reality, divine blast (444 damage) 23/day, feat of endurance 1/day (+30 Con for 1 minute), destroy evil outsiders and undead 27/day as a 66^th level cleric (turning check 73, turning damage 105; Heighten Turning, Intensify Turning, Multiturning, Quicken Turning), protective ward 1/day (+65 resistance bonus to one saving throw for one hour), surge of hope 1/day (when failing a skill check, attack roll, or saving throw, add 1d6 to the result), touch of life 1/day (1d6 +65 temporary hp to a single creature for one hours), zeal 1/day (you may take 20 on a skill check, except on checks are not normally allowed to take 20, without increasing the amount of time needed to make the check); Battle Blessing, Corona (Will DC 62), Divine Censure (Will DC 62), Epic Divine Might, Epic Divine Vengeance, Sacred Vengeance
Combat Gear dawnspeaker
Divine Spell-like Abilities (CL 65^th; +1 good spells; all [fire] and [light] spells are intensified)
At will – aid, animate objects, animate plants, antimagic field, atonement, bear’s endurance, bigby’s clenched fist, bigby’s crushing hand, bigby’s grasping hand, blade barrier (DC 53), bless, bless weapon, bolt of glory, bull’s strength, charm person (DC 48), cloak of bravery, color spray (DC 48), commune, consecrate, crown of glory (DC 55), death ward, dismissal (DC 51), dispel evil (DC 52), disrupt undead, disrupting weapon (DC 52), endure elements, enlarge person, widened faerie fire, flame strike (DC 52), fire shield, fire seeds (DC 53), freedom, gate, globe of invulnerability, good hope, greater cloak of bravery, greater dispel magic, greater heroism, greater planar ally, greater restoration, greater status, greater teleport, heat metal (DC 49), helping hand, heroes’ feast, heroism, hide from undead (DC 48), holy aura (DC 55), holy smite (DC 51), holy sword, holy word (DC 54), hypnotic pattern (DC 49), iron body, lesser restoration, lion’s roar (DC 56), magic vestment, mass bear’s endurance, mass heal (DC 56), mind blank, mordenkainen’s magnificent mansion, plant growth, plane shift (DC 52), polymorph any object (DC 55), prayer, prismatic sphere (DC 56), prismatic spray (DC 54), prismatic wall (DC 56), protection from energy, protection from evil, rary’s telepathic bond, rainbow, rainbow pattern (DC 51), refreshment, refuge, regenerate, reincarnate (DC 51), remove disease, remove fear, repulsion (DC 54), righteous might, sanctuary (DC 48), scintillating pattern, searing light, sustain, spell immunity, spell resistance, status, stoneskin, sympathy (DC 55), summon monster IX (good creatures only), sunbeam (DC 54), sunburst (DC 55), tongues.
1/day – calm emotions (DC 51)
Master of Radiance Spell-like Abilities (CL 56^th; +1 good spells; all [fire] and [light] spells are intensified; only usable during aura of radiance)
1/round – beam of sunlight, searing light
Morninglord Spell-like Abilities (CL 54^th; +1 good spells; all [fire] and [light] spells are intensified)
1/day – daylight, searing ray (as searing light, but automatically empowered against undead)
Cleric Spells per Day (CL 54^th; +1 good spells; all spells are energized and maximized; all [fire] and [light] spells are intensified)
20^th (3+1/day) – heightened intensified end to strife (DC 63) (x2), heightened last judgement (DC 70), enhanced heightened intensified mass heal (DC 59) (D).
19^th (3+1/day) – heightened miracle (DC 69) (x2), consecrated intensified purified sacred storm of vengeance (DC 59), enhanced empowered heightened sunburst (DC 63) (D).
18^th (3+1/day) – consecrated enhanced heightened purified flame strike (DC 62) (x2) (D), intensified quickened righteous smite (DC 57), enhanced intensified righteous smite (DC 57).
17^th (3+1/day) – heightened holy word (DC 67) (D), heightened know true name (DC 67), empowered intensified lion’s roar (DC 58), heightened quickened miracle (DC 63).
16^th (4+1/day) – intensified mass heal (DC 59), intensified righteous exile (DC 59) (x2), intensified storm of vengeance (DC 59), enhanced quickened sunburst (DC 58) (D).
15^th (4+1/day) – empowered intensified blade barrier (DC 56) (D), enhanced quickened searing erupt (DC 59) (x2), intensified mass cure critical wounds, heightened righteous glare (DC 65).
14^th (4+1/day) – enhanced fire-substituted fiery searing lion’s roar (DC 58) (D), heightened quickened holy word (DC 60) (x2), empowered quickened sunburst (DC 58) (x2).
13^th (4+1/day) – enhanced quickened flame strike (DC 55) (D), quickened implosion (DC 59) (x2), quickened sublime revelry, intensified weight of sin (DC 56).
12^th (5+1/day) – empowered enhanced blade barrier (DC 56) (D), empowered enhanced cometfall (DC 56), intensified divine retribution (DC 55), consecrated purified sacred firestorm (DC 58) (x2), quickened visions of the future.
11^th (5+1/day) – quickened amber sarcophagus, consecrated purified quickened cometfall (DC 56), sacred searing erupt (DC 59), quickened greater shield of lathander, quickened light of purity, quickened sunbeam (DC 57) (D).
10^th (5+1/day) – quickened crown of brilliance, consecrated fire-substituted searing earthquake (DC 58), quickened heal (DC 56) (D), empowered fire-substituted stormrage.
9^th (7+1/day) – heightened eternal rest (DC 56), quickened flame strike (DC 55), feast of champions, gate, mantle of the fiery spirit, prismatic sphere (DC 59) (D), summon elemental monolith, undeath’s eternal foe.
8^th (8+1/day) – chain dispel, holy aura (DC 58) (D), illusion purge, know true name (DC 58), mass restoration, mass valiant spirit, spread of contentment (DC 58), shun the dark chaos (DC 58), consecrated purified wages of sin.
7^th (8+1/day) – bastion of good, control weather, fortunate fate, quickened light of Venya (DC 53), rain of embers (DC 57), radiant assault (x2) (DC 57), rejuvenating light (DC 57), sunbeam (DC 57) (D).
6^th(8+1/day) – chasing perfection, consecrate battlefield, quickened deific vengeance (DC 52), heal (DC 56) (D), fiery vision (x2), ghost trap, light of courage (DC 56), vigorous circle.
5^th (9+1/day) – atonement, blistering radiance (DC 55), chaav’s laugh (DC 55), condemnation (DC 55), crown of flame, divine agility, divine retribution (DC 55), searing meteoric strike (DC 54) (x2), valiant fury (D).
4^th (10+1/day) – aligned aura (DC 54), assay spell resistance (x2), aura of the sun (x2), channeled divine health, cure critical wounds, holy smite (DC 54) (D), recitation, sacred haven, sunmantle.
3^rd (10+1/day) – cure serious wounds, fell the greatest foe, find the gap, flamebound symbol (x2), forced manifestation (DC 53), heart’s ease, mass align weapon, phieran’s resolve, prayer (D), protection from negative energy.
2^nd (10+1/day) – detect aberration, eagle’s splendor, healing lorecall, make whole, mark of doom (x2), mark of judgment (x2) (DC 52), master’s touch, share talents, shield other (D).
1^st (10+1/day) – bless water, conviction, detect taint, divine favor, endure elements (D), exorcism (x2) (DC 51), nimbus of light, ray of hope, ray of resurgence, vision of heaven (DC 51).
Orisons (6/day) – create water, cure minor wounds, guidance, light, purify food and drink, read magic.
Epic Spells Prepared 6 divine, up to Spellcraft DC 122
Epic Spells Known epic mage armor, epic repulsion, epic spell reflection, global warming, glorious light of renewal, greater ruin, hellball, nailed to the sky, nimbus, rain of fire, ruin, superb dispelling. Lathander has additionally created many epic spells that bring light and life, as well as bring ruin to the undead.
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Abilities Str 50, Dex 42, Con 50, Int 36, Wis 51, Cha 50
SQ avatar, bane of the restless, celestial fortitude, celestial minion 1/day, creative fire +20, divine grace, divinity, immortality, lathander’s light, resist fiendish lure
Feats Awesome Smite, Battle Blessing, Cleave, Consecrate Spell, Corona (Will DC 62), Divine Censure (Will DC 62), Divine Might, Divine Vengeance, Empower Spell, Energize Spell, Energy Substitution (fire), Extra Turning, Fiery Spell, Heighten Spell, Heighten Turning, Holy Potency, Improved Critical (heavy mace), Improved Initiative, Improved Turning, Maximize Spell (B), Power Attack, Purify Spell, Quicken Spell, Quicken Turning, Sacred Vengeance, Sanctify Martial Strike, Searing Spell, Weapon Focus (heavy mace), Words of Creation (B)
Epic Feats Enhance Spell, Epic Divine Might, Epic Divine Vengeance, Epic Spellcasting (B), Great Smiting (x2), Improved Heighten Spell, Intensify Spell, Intensify Turning, Multiturning, Positive Energy Aura, Superior Initiative
Salient Divine Abilities Area Divine Shield (170 hp in a 170 ft square or a 17 ft sphere or hemisphere), Automatic Metamagic (energize spell), Banestrike (evil outsiders), Banestrike (undead), Call Creatures (17 celestials with up to 37 HD), Divine Inspiration (hope), Divine Fast Healing (x2), Divine Paladin, Divine Spellcasting, Divine Weapon Focus (heavy mace), Divine Weapon Specialization (heavy mace), Earthmother’s Boon (unique salient divine ability), Energy Burst (170 ft, 136 fire damage), Energy Storm (170 ft, 17 holy and 17 positive), Gift of Life, Indomitable Strength, Life and Death (Fort DC 79 or die, 340 damage on a successful save), Lord of the Dawn (unique salient divine ability), Mass Life and Death (any number of creatures no more than 17 miles apart, Fort DC 79 or die, 340 damage on a successful save), Power of Nature, Rejuvenation (-17, -34 in Morninglory), Undead Mastery (17 creatures)
Skills Appraise 70 (78 paintings and sculptures), Bluff 82, Concentration 125, Craft (painting) 138, Craft (sculpting) 138, Diplomacy 143, Gather Information 72, Heal 125, Jump 84, Intimidate 86, Knowledge (arcana) 80, Knowledge (history) 92, Knowledge (nobility and royalty) 118, Knowledge (religion) 118, Knowledge (the planes) 118, Listen 77, Perform 145, Ride 62, Search 75, Sense Motive 82, Spot 77, Spellcraft 122, Survival 67 (75 extraplanar), Swim 82, Tumble 67
Possessions +8 full plate of the celestial battalion, dawnspeaker

Aura of Radiance (Su) The light of Lathander shines perpetually. No matter how dark it is, the Morninglord sees as though the conditions were identical to the outdoors at sunrise. This ability functions like darkvision out to 60 feet, except that he sees in color. Lathander also has a +2 sacred bonus on saving throws against spells with the darkness descriptor and a +2 sacred bonus to Armor Class against attacks from undead creatures.
Beam of Sunlight (Sp) Lathander can evoke a dazzling beam of intense light (the equivalent of a beam from the sunbeam spell) once per round as a full-round action as long as his radiant aura is active as a 56^th level caster.
Blessing of Dawn (Su) The sight of the morning sun is an inspirational vision for the Morninglord. Lathander gains a +2 morale bonus on Will saves from sunrise until noon. This ability is in effect only while he can see the sun; the effect is suppressed any time he is deprived of the sight of it during this period.
Celestial Fortitude (Su) Lathander’s endurance and fortitude are enhanced against fiendish attacks. He has a +2 sacred bonus to all Fortitude saving throws against effects from evil outsiders and evil spells. Additionally, if he makes a successful Fortitude saving throw against an effect from an evil spell or evil outsider that normally deals half damage or partial effects on a successful save, he instead takes no damage and suffers no partial effects.
Celestial Minion (Sp) Lathander may summon a Medium or smaller size celestial animal (with the celestial creature template) as a standard action usable once a day. This celestial minion carries the same responsibilities as a paladin's special mount and gains the same bonuses to its HD, natural armor, Strength, Intelligence, and other special abilities that a paladin's special mount has, but only remains for 20 hours before returning to the outer plane from whence it came.
Creative Fire (Ex) The Morninglord is a creative, expressive deity. He has a bonus equal to his morninglord level on all Craft and Perform checks.
Divinity Lathander is an embodiment of ancient divine power. As such, reality is his to shape as he sees fit.
Alter Reality: Lathander may alter reality within the bounds of his portfolio. This functions as a wish spell that requires no XP or material cost. The limits of this ability are fully described in Deities and Demigods. He can additionally alter his size from Fine to Colossal and may additionally alter up to 100 pounds of objects in the same manner.
Avatar: Lathander can have up to 20 avatars at any given time. The Morninglord appears as a golden-skinned athletic male of exceeding beauty who has just fully entered early manhood. He wears noble robes constructed in the colors of the dawn, carries himself proudly, and dresses in the finest golden plate armor if attending to matters that might turn violent.
Divine Blast: Lathander can create a ray of divine power that extends for up to 17 miles, dealing up to 444 points of damage, as a ranged touch attack with no saving throw. Lathander can unleash a divine blast 23 times per day, and alter the visual, auditory and sensation-based qualities of his divine blast as he desires. Lathander’s divine blasts generally take the form of rays of fiery sunlight.
Divine Shield: As a free action 23 times per day, Lathander can create a shield that lasts 10 minutes and stops 170 points of damage from attacks. Once the shield stops that much damage, it collapses. Any damage Lathander is naturally immune to does not count towards the shield’s limits.
Earthmother’s Boon (unique salient divine ability) Chauntea is Lathander’s lover and has bestowed a degree of protection over her consort. By her grace, the Lord of the Dawn cannot be harmed by any nonmagical plant or any creature with less than 33 Hit Dice with the plant subtype. Epic creatures and creatures with equal or more than 33 Hit Dice must succeed at a Will save (DC 79) to harm the Morninglord.
Greater Turning (Su) Six times per day, Lathander may use greater turning as the granted power of the Sun domain. This is superseded by his Lord of the Dawn salient divine ability.
Lathander's Light (Su) Whenever Lathander casts a spell with the light descriptor, its area is doubled.
Lord of the Dawn (unique salient divine ability) Lathander is the sun. He is the light that drives back the darkness, the brilliant spark that lights the way out of night and the creative brilliance within every artist. His dominion over light and the sun, both physical and metaphysical, grants him a variety of powers as listed below:
Fires of the Sun: The light of the sun shields Lathander’s body. This protection renders Lathander immune to all forms of magical and nonmagical fire, with searing effects only dealing half damage. In addition, spells and spell-like abilities cast by Lathander from the Sun domain, or with the [fire] and [light] descriptors, are similarly enhanced and are always intensified.
Radiance of the Dawn: Lathander can shed light equal to full sunlight in a 17-mile emanation from his body that counters and dispels all Darkness effects unless created by a higher ranked deity. Undead and evil outsiders caught within the radius must succeed at a Fortitude save (DC 79) or be destroyed and turned into dust. Creatures vulnerable to sunlight suffer a -17 penalty to the saving throw. A successful saving throw still deals 17d8 points of damage, while creatures vulnerable to sunlight suffer 17d12 points of damage.
Spark of Creativity: Lathander is the commander of creativity, the inspiration and muse for craftsmen and artists throughout the Realms. 17 times per day, Lathander may bestow a +17 divine bonus to any Craft or Performance check, or the Efficient Item Creation feat, to up to 17 creatures for the next 24 hours. Performances and non-magical items crafted beneath the aegis of this ability always earn three times the normal gold amount and have three times the listed market price in cost. Magical items crafted with the benefit of this ability add +17,000 gp to the listed market price and increase any numeric benefit (enhancement bonuses for the purpose of attack and damage rolls, armor and save bonuses and so forth) by +4.
Spurn the Profane: Lathander uses the totality of his character level to determine the effectiveness of his ability to smite evil, turn outsiders and undead as well as any of his feats that affect the undead. His turn attempts resolve as greater turnings (as the granted power of the Sun domain). In addition, Lathander adds his paladin spells to his clerical spell list, using the sum of both lists to determine his caster level.
Wrath of the Dawn: As a standard action Lathander can generate a ray of scorching light that extends for up to 17 miles and inflicts 17d6 points of damage, half fire and half divine. As a full attack option, he can generate up to four rays, and undead and evil outsiders suffer 17d12 points of damage. In addition, Lathander can duplicate the effects of any spell with the [light] descriptor as a standard action. (CL 65^th, DC 50 plus spell level).
Maximize Turning (Su) Once per day, Lathander can automatically achieve the maximum possible result on a turning damage roll. This is superseded by his natural divine powers.
Radiant Aura (Su) Three times per day, Lathander can emanate an aura of brilliant light that weakens undead creatures for one minute. The aura provides bright illumination in a 30-foot radius around him, and shadowy illumination for an additional 30 feet beyond that. Creatures that take penalties in bright light also take them while within the radius of the bright aura. In addition, undead creatures within the radius of bright light take a —2 penalty on attack rolls, damage rolls, and saving throws. Activating the radiant aura is a free action that does not provoke attacks of opportunity. While his radiant aura is active, Lathander casts spells with the light descriptor at +2 caster level. The radiant aura is the equivalent of a 5th-level spell with the light descriptor for the purpose of interacting with spells and effects with the darkness descriptor.
Rejuvenation of the Morn (Su) Dawn is a powerful symbol of rebirth and renewal. Once per tenday, Lathander may spend one uninterrupted hour before dawn in prayer. As soon as the sun rises after this prayer ritual, he gains one benefit of his choice from the following list.
· Healing up to full normal hit points (self only).
· Removal of any poisons or diseases (self only). This effect does not restore ability damage or ability drain caused by poison or disease.
· Full restoration of ability damage due to one poison or disease.
If his prayers are interrupted for even a single round, the attempt is ruined, and he must wait a full tenday to try again.
Resist Fiendish Lure (Su) Lathander has a +4 sacred bonus to all saving throws against mind-affecting attacks of evil outsiders.
Possessions
Dawnspeaker, Lathander’s gold-and-ivory mace, is a +10 fiery blast ghost strike mighty disruption heavy mace of holy power and evil outsider and undead dread. When held by the Morninglord, it also functions as a holy devastator. The DC of the weapon’s disruption and dread abilities is 79, and creatures vulnerable to sunlight suffer a -17 penalty to saving throws made to resist Dawnspeaker’s abilities. Lathander is known to loan out Dawnspeaker to questors and warriors he deems worthy and can call it back to his hand from anywhere in the cosmos.
The Morninglord also occasionally wears a set of golden +8 full plate with the powers of an armor of the celestial battalion. The bonuses are not reflected in the above statistics.
Other Divine Powers As a greater deity, Lathander automatically receives the best possible result on any die roll he makes (including attack rolls, damage, checks, and saves). He treats a 1 on an attack roll or saving throw normally and not as an automatic failure. He is immortal. Senses Lathander can see (using normal vision or darkvision), hear, touch, and smell at a distance of 17 miles. As a standard action, he can perceive anything within 17 miles of his worshippers, holy sites, objects, or any location where one of his titles or name was spoken in the last hour. He can extend his senses to up to 20 locations at once. He can block the sensing power of deities of his rank or lower at up to two remote locations at once for 17 hours. Portfolio Sense Lathander is aware of any event under the light of the sun, competition or act of artistry of the number of people involved up to 17 weeks in the past and 17 weeks in the future. Automatic Actions Lathander can use any skill related to his portfolio as a free action if the DC for the task is 30 or lower. He can perform up to twenty such free actions each round. Create Magic Items Lathander can craft any magical item that associated with heat and light, aids in self-empowerment, preserves or restores vitality or harms the undead, including artifacts.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Eternal Rest [Ravenloft: Legacy of Blood 71]
Necromancy
Level: Cleric 6
Components: V, S, DF
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Effect: Ray (see text)
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: Will partial (see text)
Spell Resistance: Yes
This spell creates a ray of golden light that destroys one undead creature’s material body (if it has one), causing it to crumble to dust, which is then wafted away in a swirling breeze. This spell affects incorporeal undead without the usual incorporeal miss chance, and such a creature merely winks out of existence if it fails its save. If the target makes a successful save, it still takes 6d6 points of damage. If the creature has a special quality that allows it to return after destruction (such as a vampire’s fast healing power or a ghost’s rejuvenation power), the creature gains a bonus equal to its Charisma modifier on its saving throw. If such a creature fails its saving throw against this spell, it must make a successful Will save at the same DC (also with its Charisma modifier as a bonus) to return. If the creature’s method of return normally requires a saving throw (as a ghost’s rejuvenation power does), the creature must first make that saving throw, then make the Will saving throw against this spell.
You can improve your chance of success by presenting at least one object or substance that the target hates, fears, or otherwise finds repulsive or painful (such as a mirror and bud of garlic for a vampire). For each such object or substance, you gain a +1 bonus on your caster level check to overcome the target’s spell resistance (if any), and the spell’s saving throw DC increases by +1. A particular creature’s history might suggest additional objects or substances that would make the spell more effective.
This spell can also be cast when an undead creature has been physically destroyed and its remains are not present. In this case, the spell must be aimed at the spot where the creature was destroyed, and it must be used within 1 minute of the undead creature’s destruction. No attack roll is required for this use of the spell.
This spell can destroy an undead darklord’s physical form, but it cannot prevent the darklord from returning.
Rainbow [Dragon Magazine 321 68]
Conjuration (Creation)
Level: Cleric 6, Radiance 6
Components: V, S, DF
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Effect: Rainbow bow, quiver, and arrows
Duration: 1 hour / level
Saving Throw: No
Spell Resistance: Yes
A rainbow-hued longbow appears in your hand, along with a full quiver of arrows fletched with different colors. The longbow is considered a +1 longbow that the caster is proficient with. The quiver holds an endless supply of seven different colored arrows, each being made of a different material and having the following effects:
Red: +1 elemental-bane adamantine arrows.
Orange: +1 construct-bane silver arrows.
Yellow: +1 plant-bane evil-aligned arrows.
Green: +1 magical beast-bane good-aligned arrows.
Blue: +1 undead-bane lawful-aligned arrows.
Indigo: +1 aberration-bane chaotic-aligned arrows.
Violet: +1 dragon-bane cold iron arrows.
Only the caster is able to use the bow, quiver, and arrows. They appear immediately back in the caster’s possession if dropped or given away, though the caster may drop the bow and quiver to use another item, but can rematerialize them at will, as a free action. The bow, quiver, and arrows have no weight and cannot be disarmed or sundered.
Know True Name [Kalamar: Player’s Guide 3.0 177]
Enchantment (Compulsion) [Mind-Affecting]
Level: Cleric 8
Components: V, S, DF
Casting Time: 1 action
Ranged: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft. / 2 levels)
Target: One fiend
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: Will negates
Spell Resistance: Yes
You force a fiend to tell you its true name. Once you know a fiend’s true name, all spells that you cast at that creature have their save DCs increase by +4. You also gain a +4 on all checks to penetrate the creature’s spell resistance.

Hello there! Welcome to what is likely going to be a long, rambly post. I'm going to structure this as though I were answering job interview questions, because let's face it, dating is a glorified job interview for a relationship/getting laid.
Oh, and to save some of you the time reading this (though I did spend a while writing it mind you), I'm 5'5, and it's perfectly fine if that doesn't work for you. I have preferences too! Anyway...
Tell me About Yourself.
Ah, this one is a classic to start off with, glad you asked (or told me to elaborate? Same idea)!
First and foremost, I am a nerd. My favorite day of the week is Sunday, because that's when my D&D game happens (It's actually Pathfinder, but I say D&D because most people are not into the hobby), and this account is named after the character I play in that very game! Feel free to ask for more details at the risk of an overly excited explanation. I also play video games, usually single-player CRPGs, but lately I've been playing Hades and I like being on voice call when I do that.
Professionally I'm... still in school. Here's a lengthy, detailed discussion as to why that is: anxiety sucks. Phew, that was so lengthy, glad that's over! Anyway, I'm a nuclear engineering major and plan to graduate in 4 semesters. In all seriousness, I don't mind going over the full story once we're talking.
What are Some of Your Hobbies?
Lists are helpful for this one! So here we go:

• D&D. Yes I mentioned it already, I'm doing it here again because it's so nice I'll mention it twice! Also, I find that lists are more impressive with more bullet points. Longer bullet points too, that makes it look even more impressive.
• Hockey. When I'm not looking for potential mates, I spend my time shitposting on the hockey subreddit. I've been to 3 NHL games so far and plan to go to more!
• Anything related to animals. For reference, some of the channels I watch on YouTube are Snake Discovery, Clint's Reptiles and Girl with the Dogs.
• Tech stuff. Electric cars, phones, gadgets, all of it is at least of some casual interest to me.

What do You Want in a Potential Partner?
Someone who's not an asshole, not a catfish looking to get $100 dollars out of me to fix their fake iPhone (yes, this happened), shares some interests with me, willing to do some basic stuff (sharing a picture, voice calling, video calling eventually) and treats me with respect. Honestly, not a long list. Physically, I would prefer someone who's of a thinner-average body type as that is what I am. I've made exceptions to this before though, so if you feel that I'm irresistible and not entirely obnoxious, feel free to reach out.
What I want the most though? Just intimacy. I think that's what we all want at the end. That is why this post is marked as NSFW because I am definitely not opposed to it going that way, but I also go at the pace of my partner and respect their boundaries.
What do You Look Like?
I'm 5'5 as mentioned before, 125 lbs, white, brown hair, green eyes, and have glasses that might as well be made of aquarium glass. Hopefully that gives you a vivid enough picture for now, but an actual picture is worth 1000 words so once we've exchanged a few messages I can share that.
And that, dear reader, is the end of my hopefully well-formatted and not-at-all-obnoxious wall of text. Hope you enjoyed reading it, and I hope to hear from you! If I don't, have a great whatever time of day it happens to be in your timezone!

My boyfriend (24M) had exe’s half naked pics in his hidden album that he says he completely forgot about
Context: I was looking through my boyfriend's phone of 3 months for the first time and here's what i found: He made an inappropriate joke with some girl, he also sent a sexy reel of a woman to a girl telling her « you look like her i was scrolling and she got me stopping for a min saying who does she looks like ». I also found half naked pictures of his ex that she sent him before we got together and another one of a random girl he knew in his hidden album that he said he completely forgot about. He was talking to that same ex while we were together, she sent a flirty text that he didn't react to, he said he didn't know that i wouldn't like it and that he stopped when i randomly expressed one month ago that i wouldn't, he also said that he never noticed that flirty text since she sent multiple msgs at once. I was looking through the conversation (i was devastated) went out then looked again for it, gone, deleted. I immediately thought he deleted it from his laptop since i wasn't next to him while going through his phone, but he knew i was doing so since i told him. He looked confused and completely denied it saying it was a bug or something g. He liked several sexy stories of girls one of them in a bikini and told me he casually liked them since he likes anything and everything.
Now for context this guy was the absolute sweetest, kind and a gentleman. He also did everything to get me back after that (i broke up) and came when i told him to meet me to hear his apology 2 days after(he had an important meeting, asked his boss for the afternoon, was denied, came anyway, got sanctioned for it), showered me with gifts, cried (he doesn't cry much) and was truly remorseful.
Now it's been a month and i can't get what happened out of my mind we didn't get back together i refused so we're still figuring it out but i don't know what to do, i do not see him the same, i can't trust him.
tldr : went through boyfriends phone found he still had exe’s naked pics that hr says he completely forgot about and several other things. Can’t trust him anymore.
*Is the relationship worth saving or am i just delaying the inevitable? Any help, opinions or advices would be much appreciated !

Anybody having issues with text pictures coming in blurry? On nothing 2 using Google message. Is there a fix?

Context: I was looking through my boyfriend's phone of 3 months for the first time and here's what i found: He made an inappropriate joke with some girl, he also sent a sexy reel of a woman to a girl telling her « you look like her i was scrolling and she got me stopping for a min saying who does she looks like ». I also found half naked pictures of his ex that she sent him before we got together and another one of a random girl he knew in his hidden album that he said he completely forgot about. He was talking to that same ex while we were together, she sent a flirty text that he didn't react to, he said he didn't know that i wouldn't like it and that he stopped when i randomly expressed one month ago that i wouldn't, he also said that he never noticed that flirty text since she sent multiple msgs at once. I was looking through the conversation (i was devastated) went out then looked again for it, gone, deleted. I immediately thought he deleted it from his laptop since i wasn't next to him while going through his phone, but he knew i was doing so since i told him. He looked confused and completely denied it saying it was a bug or something g. He liked several sexy stories of girls one of them in a bikini and told me he casually liked them since he likes anything and everything.
Now for context this guy was the absolute sweetest, kind and a gentleman. He also did everything to get me back after that (i broke up) and came when i told him to meet me to hear his apology 2 days after(he had an important meeting, asked his boss for the afternoon, was denied, came anyway, got sanctioned for it), showered me with gifts, cried (he doesn't cry much) and was truly remorseful.
Now it's been a month and i can't get what happened out of my mind we didn't get back together i refused so we're still figuring it out but i don't know what to do, i do not see him the same, i can't trust him.
tldr : went through boyfriends phone found he still had exe’s naked pics that hr says he completely forgot about and several other things. Can’t trust him anymore.
*Is the relationship worth saving or am i just delaying the inevitable? Any help, opinions or advices would be much appreciated !

Dating and romance:
Current bf: he's kinda dry on texts, I don't like the way he reassures. Asking for reassurance somehow ends up in fights. He asked me to pick between either him or cats while I'm a cat lover. There's nothing toxic this guy is fine but like, idk
The talking stage before him: He was pretentious and faked being rich, faked being an artist because I'm one and his art was shit. He has ugly hair. I'm a professional artist, pouring paint on a chart paper doesn't make you an artist ffs. He also bragged about driving for 2 hours to meet me, yeah idc that's the bare minimum. (He cheated on his ex)
Ex: A cheater and he lied about everything. Has an ugly face so he was trying so hard to cover up by working out but that didn't help his face. Just ended up looking like a frog on steroids with that ugly big mouth. ( Talked this way about him because - For some context I was cheated on by a narcissist in December '22. It wasn't a normal breakup, he was the first toxic person in my life and I wanted to fix him because I thought he was a hurt child, which ended up muddling my gut instincts. It was my first relationship and an extremely toxic one. He cheated multiple times, lied about everything, crossed my physical boundaries on a daily basis, talked down on me, controlled me and isolated me. There were 127 red flags and I was severely trauma bonded. We broke up and got back together over 18 times in a year.)
The crush before the ex: He was insanely obsessed with cars and all he posted was about cars. His Instagram had one selfie and multiple cars. He once told me he'd rather buy cars than marry a girl. Okay I respect his likes and dislikes but whatever. I distanced myself from him.
Friendships:
Current group in masters, we're a group of 5:
1st girl (overly egoistic just because she's a model, she doesn't greet anyone. she doesn't look pretty in person, it's just the pictures, I would've never guessed she's a model if she didn't show us her insta)
2nd girl (a pick-me, she's pampered by her parents and always brags about how she's perfect and disciplined and never involves herself with men - I doubt she's straight. She wants to be treated like a kid though she's goddamn 24 years old. All her dresses have a teddy bear or they're furry, she literally dresses like a 5 year old. It's embarassing. She even has a squeaky toy attached to her tiffin box.)
3rd one (loves to seek sympathy, all she talks about is her problems but won't listen, I can see the joy in her face when she complains about her family problems)
4th one (won't shut up though nobody wants to listen, she once didn't shut up for 2 hours though i tried so hard to end the conversation. She is an enfp and she's my biggest nightmare, she wanted to be my roommate next year and I wanna find a way to escape.).
In my undergraduate college (4 years)
Group in final year: one girl ALWAYS complained about how she hated computer science, she was so dumb and put no effort in studies.
Other one always talked about literature and wanting to get married, she would never pay when we go out. She bragged about cheating, she went out with a 50 year old married man at 22 and was so proud of it.
2nd and 3rd year I didn't have friends as my ex isolated me and cheated.
1st year, we were a group of 3: The girl didn't know how to joke or have fun, it was too serious. Every convo felt like an interview.
The guy was gay and he always talked about how he was crushing on EVERY teacher, EVERY other guy in the college. He even had a crush on the ex who cheated on me. What's wrong with him. He made a group called "Threesome" as a joke and added the serious girl and me as a joke. I was questioned by others when they saw that. WTF I AM SO DISGUSTED. He had a minimum of 30-40 crushes in a span of one year.
I could go on and on. It's endless. Every person I've met is embarrassing as hell.
I plan on starting from scratch, once I leave the country in 2 months. I would only stay in touch with my parents because they provide for me and I'm grateful.
Otherwise I think everyone is just so cringey. I'll find a way to break up with my boyfriend and cut off my current friends as well.

Hello, I 20F am looking for a dom cuckcake for my BF 21M to text message and/ or video call and use him as you please while you degrade me.a
We are looking for someone that is bisexual and okay with fun involving both of us together or separately.
Dm us with a short bit and a picture for verification!

The moment a lot of you have been waiting for is here!
A couple of notes before you read (or after because I would just jump into the list right away too)

1. Direct quotes from Ali herself are in italics.
2. I tried my best to keep everything in timeline order. Some people like The Come Back Kid I placed in the order where they reconnected/talked about on the pod. But I did my best to note this.
3. All this information came from the FMH podcast, the Patreon, the original FMH blog, TikTok and other podcast that feature FMH/Ali. I also crossed reference information with this sub. I got most of this done with the help of the Patreon and listening to 1.75x speed but I lost accessed to the Patreon because my subscription ended.
4. I'm open to edits! Things around the matchmaker era confused me and if anything is incorrect or if I'm missing someone, please let me know! I will note where corrections are made.
5. Some people don't have anything simply because only a name was said or I couldn't find any details about the person/date
6. And of course, please be respectful of all the sub rules!

Names on the original FMH blog

• Mr. Adorable aka The Coach
• Trouble
• Waffles
• Future Husband Brian (FHB)
• Cookie
• Peter Pan
• Ambiguous Goodbye Guy
• Bad Bitch Man

AOL chatroom Boyfriend
Mentioned on Tiktok and on the pod once
Myspace Boyfriend
Mentioned on Tiktok
Third Boyfriend
Met on eCrush.com in 2002 and this was mentioned on the Cracked Up podcast, The Dave Glaser Podcast and Tiktok
The Kiwi
Met on a 2 week Model UN type youth trip in high school when Ali was 15, never a boyfriend but she had a huge crush on him, he tried to kiss Ali and she literally ran away, didn’t talk the rest of the trip but exchanged numbers and screen names (Ali’s was FineGal13 or BeachJewel760), she made him a mixtape cd called “Ali’s really cool mix for The Kiwi” but never sent it and she still has it. In 2021, he DM’d her when she posted photos of her and her mom in France and invites her to visit him in London, she says she can’t but says they should catch up if he comes to NYC
Fourth Boyfriend
Met on OkCupid when you had to use it on the computer, this was mentioned on Tiktok
The Homecoming Date or Light Switch
First boyfriend? (she goes back and forth calling him her first bf or a situationship), a family friend, a month younger than Ali, dated in high school but went to different high schools, football player, made him ask her to her Homecoming dance over email (her words), Ali hid in the bathroom the whole Homecoming dance, 3-4 revisits of this situations as adults, saw him on Bumble a few years ago and texted him that he had a typo in his bio, “he very much wanted to be with me” and now he’s married with a kid. His mom is still “obsessed” with Ali and she listens to FMH
Random college guy
Freshman year of college, Ali doesn’t have a nickname for him/doesn’t remember his real name, met this guy through a friend, was texting him to invite him over to hot tub but her phone autocorrected to “how about some hot rubbing tonight?” but Ali didn’t noticed/didn’t correct it and he never replied, Ali had a house party and got really drunk and was all over him, he left the party early, she messaged him on MySpace 3-4 times asking why he left
The Resident
Matched on Match.com, first guy she dated in NYC after college, older than Ali, a doctor, lasted 3 months ”maybe”, he didn’t like Ali’s friends, got a card from him on her birthday and it said “Love, The Resident” and it took Ali back a little, Ali drinks black coffee because of him, he coordinated having her mom visit NYC for her birthday then he broke up with her a week later
The Ghost
Met at a bar when she was 25, turns out they matched on OkCupid and they already had a date scheduled next week, they dated for 6-8 weeks, had sleepovers, “The worst ghosting experience I’ve ever had”, he borrowed The Great Gatsby from Ali’s roommate, planned to make dinner together after a beach trip in August with her friends and never showed up, Ali is blowing up his phone and gets no reply, two weeks later she finally texts “are you alive? check yes or no” and he responds “Yes”, Ali then ask if he could return the book and gets no reply again, 5 months go by and she receives the book in the mail with the note: “Here’s the book back. Sorry. P.S. sorry about last summer. I was in a bad place. You’re a great person and your salmon is amazing”, since then she has ran into him twice on the streets and matched with him on Bumble
The Coach/Mr. Adorable
First serious boyfriend at 26/27 in 2013, matched on Match.com or met through work depending if you’re listening to the pod or reading her OG blog, clean-cut look, played volleyball, Ali invited him to a friend’s birthday party and they made out in the streets at 4am, on their second date he asked Ali if she was seeing any one and when Ali said no he ask her to be his girlfriend 3 days after their first date, dated for almost 1.5 years or almost 2 years depending on if you’re listening to the pod or the Patreon, first time saying “I love you” to a guy, “lovely guy“, never would posted Ali on his instagram until Ali said something, he “lived” with her for two weeks while he was in between apartments, tried blind folding/hair pulling during sex and she didn’t like it, by the end of their relationship Ali didn’t like sex and thought she wasn’t a very sexual person, after they broke up Ali drunk texted him at 2am and he picked her up and she spent the night and she took her things in the morning in a rolly suitcase, from her blog in 2015: “I just want to be careful I don’t end up with another Mr. Adorable situation, where I find myself dating my platonic best friend”, had drinks with him in 2016 from the blog: “Not in a romantic way (at least on my end)”, Ali still talks to him sometimes through casual instagram DMs, he’s currently (as of 2021) dating someone for 4+ years and Ali thinks they’re going to get engaged
Trouble
OG 2015 FMH blog, never mentioned on the pod, “I was immediately enamored with him”, met at a Beer Olympic party but he worked with one of Ali’s best friends (Ali was still dating The Coach at the time), lived in BK, tattoos and stubble, Ali’s best friend said he was a “fuck boy”, “he very much made me see that it was the right thing for me and The Coach to not be together”, from her blog in 2015: “he has this look in his eye like he’s constantly laughing at me – in a super sexy way”, he texted her saying he didn’t see anything romantically with her and she sent a gif of someone shrugging
Personal side note: Ali has mentioned she has cheated on someone but never disclosed who she cheated on or with. I feel like she cheated on Mr.A/The Coach with Trouble because of the timeline. Just a guess.
Waffles
Matched on Bumble, OG 2015 FMH blog, he asked Ali fuck/marry/kill breakfast foods, dated 2 months around summer time, on Fourth of July while watching fireworks he said how they had a great day and Ali replied with something along the lines with “yeah, it would be better if I could call you my boyfriend”, he said he wanted a relationship but just not with Ali and shortly afterwards they stopped seeing each other
The Buffalo
Lived in Buffalo NY, 6’5, Scorpio, met in 2015 at Adults National volleyball (Ali’s team won that year) where he was heckling her while she was playing, asks Ali’s mom for her number and Ali’s mom said “I guess you’re tall enough” and told him to ask her himself, he flew her out and she met his parents, dated over summer, exclusive but never boyfriend/girlfriend (but called him her LD boyfriend on TikTok), texted and talked on the phone a lot, Ali’s best friend’s favorite ex “they had really good banter”, in October he invited her to his cousins wedding and she invited him to her friends wedding, after Ali bought her ticket to his cousins wedding (with the promise he would buy her ticket to her friend’s wedding) he ghosted and stonewalled her, she “poured her heart out to him on voicemail” and he never replied, she asked him to pay her back for her ticket and he got mad that she “made this about money”, 2 years later he told Ali that he freaked out because he really liked her and saw a future with her but knew she would never move to Buffalo and it would “never work”, Ali said at the time she would have considered moving for him, Ali used to have him blocked on Facebook and told all her friends not to update her on info about him (unless she asked). He’s now married and goes to Disney with his wife (which Ali kind of scoffs at?), Ali said on TikTok that she dodged a bullet
Baby Bic
Met him at Adults National years ago, had a flirtationship with him in 2016 when he was 19 years old, ran into him at the Adults Nationals 2021, last texts she got from him were about getting his fake ID taken away at the bar and him visiting her in NYC but Ali didn’t want to buy him beer and drink at her apartment
The Chef
Matched on Tinder around 2016, he loved karaoke, “total shit”, asked Ali to be his girlfriend and to meet his mom after a month, off and on dating, broke up the first time because he was talking to his ex, lied and flew to Mexico to see his ex while dating Ali, that ex sent Ali a Snapchat of them in bed together on that Mexico trip, Ali broke up with him via text and called him a shitty boyfriend, he’s the reason Ali deleted her Snapchat because of drunk Snaps he would send post break up, FB messaged Ali 6 years later (while Roark was visiting/staying with Ali) and said sorry for being a shit head. Ali’s best friends hated him
The Dentist
Met on Halloween in the wild, Canadian, dated NYE 2016- May 2017 “nice guy, not my guy”, one of Ali’s best friend’s favorite ex “he adored you, “he was too sweet for me” and “he had no edge to him”, he painted Ali’s cat for her 30th birthday but she was annoyed it was just Rory and not both cats, The Chef texted Ali while on a date/sleeping at his house
ASV - Aspiring Sober Vegan
Met through a friend (her best guy friend’s college roommate) the day before she had to fly out to her dad’s memorial, a doctor, into meditation, remembered him “being cuter” when they went on a first date, felt “the spark”, had “omg this is awesome sex”, Ali described this relationship as a “slow burn” and “the most attracted she ever been to a partner” even thought she didn’t think he was that cute in the beginning, dated 2-3 months before he tried to ghost Ali but they talked and broke up, four months later they start casually dating/FWB because he’s moving but this turns into a ‘middle distance relationship’ and he moves to Philly, had a lot of communication issues but didn't have a lot of fights, wants to live in Ohio and give a % of his income to charity, Ali was close to saying ‘I love you’ but didn’t, he uninvited her to meet his extended family and they got in a fight, broke up with her a couple weeks before their 6 month anniversary at the park while on a picnic and told her that she’s still his favorite person, Ali used to think he was “the one that got away” and would frequently have dreams about him. From what Ali knows, he's sober but not vegan
The Scientist
2017 or 2018ish, from San Diego, went on one date, Ali ended up ghosting him due to the decline in her dad’s health, saw him on Hinge while she was in San Diego for 3 months in 2020, texted him and apologized for ghosting him, ended up going on 2-3 more dates, took a selfie in front of his house and sent it to him but acted like she didn’t know that was his house and made a TikTok about it, things ended up not working but she doesn’t make it clear on who ended it. She can now see she shouldn’t have been going on dates during this time when her dad was sick.
Good on Paper Divorced Dude
Met a couple of years ago (she told this story on TikTok in 2020) on Bumble
The Groomsman
Met at her friend Ashley’s wedding in Chicago Oct 2019, had a “two night stand” with him, texted/talked/FT’d for 3-4 months, divorced, never dated seriously/FWB, saw each other a couple time when he came to NYC, Ali stopped talking with him due to FMH and her trying to find a serious relationship, he starts dating someone, follows FMH on insta, slid into her DM in 2022 and then sent her soup while she was sick, turns out he’s single again, 2 months later Ali is heading to Chicago and texts him “Hello! Reminder that my arrival to your neck of the woods is imminent” and turns out he is now seeing someone and Ali doesn’t see him while in Chicago (at least she doesn’t mention it)
Unnicknamed person
He was her plus one at her best friend from college’s NYE wedding 2019/2020, met and hung out with Ali’s mom, posted photos of them together on her personal Insta story, “fully dating but weren’t official hehe” doesn’t have a nickname/never gave him a nickname? This could be The Latvian/the person she texted her friend in DC about saying “I think I’m on a date with my husband”

Starts FMH on January 2020 on Instagram/TikTok

The Traveler
He was browsing Bumble while Ali was in the bathroom during their first date, he was banned from Bumble and was using his grandma phone number. Ali turned down a second date
The Duke
Early FMH, went for long periods of time in between texts, 7-8 Zoom dates while Ali was in San Diego and he was in NY, Ali said you could see three of his ex’s on his instagram page (without scrolling), they finally went on one date and it was “meh” but they did kiss on their date
The Oyster
Matched on Bumble (he had one photo and no bio) two weeks before Valentines Day, Gemini, a lawyer, part of the 13 First Dates in 30 Days series (he was #13), dated Feb 2020-Aug 2020, love bomber, felt “the spark” and became official after 3 dates, best first date ever??? at the time, said “I love you” to Ali after two weeks, “For most of my relationship with The Oyster, he didn’t live in the city he had moved to Connecticut without telling me”, would fight all the time, opposite political views, Ali felt like a “fucking summer camp director” because she planned all their dates and he would get upset if Ali didn't have a plan, sought out a therapist (Megan) because of her relationship struggles because of him, went to Mass/church, he wanted a traditional marriage/life/wife/kids (at one point had Ali thinking she wanted that), didn’t want to live in NYC, didn’t support BLM, Cindy hated him
The Pilot
Went on 3 dates, texted a lot, didn’t hear back from him in four days and when she said she was looking to date someone who showed more consistency, he replied saying he met someone the day after their last date who seems to have more free time than Ali and he wants to pursue that but would like to be friends, Ali said on TikTok that this other women “bent her schedule to his schedule” and she was unwilling to do that. Mostly talked about him on TikTok
The Analyst
Matched on Bumble two years ago and went on one date, re matched in 2021 and he stood Ali up, she send him a text “getting stood up” script and he never replied. Only mentioned him on TikTok (?)

Ali and Roark start FMH: The Podcast February 2021

The Boomerang
First date on the pod? I couldn't find anything else about him
The Scuba Diver
The Music Man
One date, “he didn’t do anything wrong, he’s just not for me”, amped up small talk, complimented Ali a lot which made her feel awkward cause she wasn’t feeling it, he texted her and asked for a second date and Ali sent the no ghosting script
The Bet
Uses the phrase “ok bet”, 28 years old shoe designer, only went on one dinner date to a spot he picked, turns out its cash only and he didn’t bring cash, was not into him , not looking for the same thing
The Dinosaur
Nickname was previously The Hawaiian, first date at Dinosaur BBQ, stood in a parking spot to save for Ali, he asked for a kiss after their date and Ali declined saying maybe next time
The Rose
He sent her a rose on hinge, first date was an hour long walk in the park while drinking beer
The Comic
Matched on Hinge, older than Ali (Ali’s friends express how happy they were to hear that), had brunch on their first date (was the first part of a double header but the second guy canceled), listed as “moderate” politically on Hinge, good and easy convo, went back and forth twice over text and then never heard back from him, “technically not ghosting...”
The Camper
Met in the wild at a volleyball tournament in July, lives in Chicago, 27 years old, hung out the whole time, over heard Ali asking someone to get her a make out partner, gave Ali his number, drunkly ask him for a FT date in the future and he didn’t reply, Ali texts him again about a volleyball thing and he replied back with not a lot of enthusiasm, Ali is going to Chicago in Sept for a volleyball tournament and she’s already planning on playing 4-on-4 with her best friend vs. his roommate and maybe The Camper, he texts her saying he has to work on the date of the tournament and won’t be able to do the 4-on-4 game, “I feel like I got broken up with someone I never want to date in the first place”

Ali’s Matchmaker contract starts in August 2021 - 6 matches

The Schmoozer
Went on a dinner date, was chatting up the waitress in a kind of creepy way, was bragging about a lot of things and it turned Ali off and Ali texted him her no ghosting script
The Accountant
1st matchmaker match, 31 years old, lives in BK, his dad has also passed away, easy to talk to, on the third date she wasn’t sure if she saw a future with him and in her gut doesn’t feel like this would be a slow burn, Ali breaks things off with him, months (?) later he sent Ali a 5 min long voice memo and they said they were both down to see each other as friends. He later on dated and ghosted Erica
The Aussie
Matched on Hinge, in politics, from Australia but lived all over the place, asked Ali what she’s looking for on the first date and he said he’s “casually looking for something serious”, Ali accidentally walks up to a different person on their second date, Ali texts him saying she would love to see him before he leaves on a trip and she wasn’t happy that it took him till the next day to reply and he can’t see her before he leaves
The Goalie
Was supposed to be Ali’s 2nd match, he’s a paying client, Ali didn’t hear back from him for a while when she told him where she lived, he wrote to the matchmaker saying that she lived too far away even though it states where she lives in her matchmaker profile
The Journalist
2nd matchmaker match, ended things because she was dating/pursuing things with The Discoball and paused her matchmakers matches

The Threepeat
Matched multiple times on dating apps but this recent time with Hinge, Amazon seller, first date was a pizza lunch date (with bubbles aka champagne) and he gave her a single yellow carnation, talked a lot about her “side hustles” aka her food blog, coaching, FMH and the pod (Ali didn’t mentioned the name on FMH), had an awkward half kiss during the date and then gave her a peck when they said goodbye, he had no night stands by his bed?, spent the night but told public pod they had a movie night, different kissing styles, 6 dates, broke things off with Ali two days before her first date with The Rower WHILE Ali was on a Halloween girls trip
The Rower
Dated from Halloween 2021 till early Feb 2022, Pisces who is 6 days older than Ali, has an ex-fiancé (they dated for 8 years, engaged for two of them, she broke off the engagement with him 1.5 years ago once he started dating Ali), has a shared dog with this ex, slept together around Xmas on the fourth date and Ali got a UTI, first time having “omg this is awesome sex” since ASV, first person Ali slept next to wearing an eye mask "that's a big step for me", had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, on New Years Day told her that he sees “long term relationship potential” with her but doesn’t want to be exclusive after 5 dates, “we didn’t talk all week”, he said he wasn’t as ready as he though to date someone seriously and “I don’t know why I don’t want to be in a relationship with you” they broke up over the phone, Ali said he’s a good human and wants to date someone like him, 3.5 weeks later Ali drunk texted him at 3:00 am saying “its really hard not to talk to you” which Ali said was a lie, he replied back (few days? A week later?) while Ali was on another date and it made her cry a bit, she replied back saying “the door is closed but not locked” in regards if he wants to get back together. “Fin… for now”

2022

The Discoball
Matched on Hinge but didn’t go on a first date for two week, Gemini, used to be a singer in a band, moved from DC to NYC, went on 7 dates in 2022, had a dog w/ ex and ex got full custody once he moved, met one of his friends on the second date, slept with him on the second date “morning and night”, he tried to find the podcast without knowing the name, podcasted from his house in DC, he would send Ali photos of them together “all the time”, gave a virtual presentation from his hotel room, did Molly together in DC, had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, moved to BK (didn’t see each other for 2 months pre-move), had a sex-less sleepover (a milestone for Ali), he showed up for her on her dad’s death date (something that a person she’s dating has never done), used to listen to the pod but stopped before they stopped seeing each other, ghosted her after they had a talk about moving things forward to exclusive and Ali texted him something along the lines of “your silence is the answer” when she didn’t hear back from him for a week and he ghosted her. Ali said he sucks in #77 AUA
Lisbon
The Brit
M&M
The Come Back Kid
They went on 2-3 dates in Nov 2018 and reconnected in May 2022, "felt immediately comfortable", sat next to a very drunk lady on their second 1st date and was supportive but "didn't step on Ali's toes" when the drunk lady said something offensive to Ali, couldn’t remember if they slept together or not, knows about FMH, ghosted Ali
The Trainer
The Cold Brew
The Nomad
3rd matchmaker match, reminded Ali of The Oyster, wanted kids and didn’t want to live in NYC forever, Ali was upset at first because her matchmaker was supposed to screen for that but the matchmaker DID check and it wasn’t mentioned when she was screening The Nomad, no second date because those are dealbreakers to him
The Catcher
Matched on Bumble, “good not great” after their first date, ~April 2022, talked about sports a lot on their first date
The Gentleman
4th matchmaker match, knew about Ali’s FMH socials before their date, Ali didn’t like his texting style, awkward intro on their first date “like hugging a 2 x 4”, he runs a dating event company and actually email Ali to be a guest on the pod when FMH first started, awkward goodbye, didn’t discuss the actual first date on the main pod because she doesn’t want to give him a reason to reach out again
The Tennis Pro
Ali had a good time on their date, “He is an adult, he’s mature” BUT “I don’t think he was into it”
The Padre
Matched on Bumble, 3 dates, from San Diego, “energy mismatch”, doesn’t want to know or listen to FMH, no psychical connection/kiss, only a kiss on the cheek on their last date, “I haven’t spoken to him since Friday night [a week]”, she didn’t want to do what The Threepeat did to her (break up while on vacation/traveling), she said it might be a MOO

Roark leaves and Erica joins the pod Oct 31st 2022

Captain Kirk
5th matchmaker match, found him on Bumble before their in-person date, ghosted Ali AND the matchmaker???
6th matchmaker match
Last match and Ali states she will not talk about this date or anything about it
JFK Kirk?
Matched on Bumble, didn’t realize he’s located in SD, exchanged personal instagram info, not sure where things went or how things ended

Kirk #1
Met in the wild, make out a lot the night they met, “stealing kisses throughout the night”, exchanged numbers, planned a date (no specifics, just the day) but when Ali texted him day of he asked to reschedule (no specifics again), he replied back that he’s picking up a rental car, told him she’s looking for someone to respect her time and he never replied back

2023

The Falcon
First date of 2023, matched on The League, first nickname was “League Kirk”, hard to talk to, felt like Ali was always reaching for the next topic, likes to travel, “there wasn’t a vibe”, MOO
The Roommate
Used to be her friend’s roommate and have met before (Ali doesn’t remember but it was the day after that exclusive convo with The Rower), “totally cute”, reunited at their mutual friend’s engagement party January 2023, made out at the bar, comes back to her place and sleeps over (no sex), Ali questions why her friends never set them up and its because he was taking a break from dating, first date they made out a lot at the bar (again), “I really felt like we were already a couple”, “It didn’t feel like a first date”, mentions her FMH content has popped up on his FYP, tried texting him after their date and he wasn’t giving effort, she’s glad she didn’t sleep with him because “one night stands aren’t my thing”, MOO
The Belgian
Matched on Bumble, accidentally had their first date during a trivia night at a bar, easy to talk to
The Viking
Ali forgot they had a first date on the day of said date
Tinder Man
Matched on Tinder (duh) on Valentine’s Day, first Tinder date in three years, good convo on first date but got a pushy vibe from him at the second bar they went to, put his hand up her sweater and was kissing her in the bar, made Ali uncomfortable and she told him that after her asked her on a second date
The Historian
Matched on Bumble, good conversation on the first date with a wide range of topics like “urban planning and its impact on feminism”, he’s in grad school
The Georgian
Matched on Hinge, he asked if she was free on Friday and she said yes but didn’t hear back from him in two days and in that time she made plans for Friday, rescheduled for a Saturday afternoon date at a dive bar, ate on her way to her date “it would be next level rude to eat on the subway”, good first date, talked about places he wants to take her to
The Publicist
Matched on Tinder, lives in BK, Jewish, one year younger then Ali, good first date, invited him to the Chaotic Singles Party that night, came over to Ali's apartment (which Ali said was messy) before and he made her favorite cocktail for her, a couple of listeners met him at the CSP, goofy and silly convo mixed with deep and serious convos, second date was at the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens and a tasting menu dinner, he made a Resy reservation and Ali got an email saying she was added to it ”fuck receiving gifts, THAT’S my love language”, he's into words like Ali, he sneezed and Ali said "God bless you" but then corrected herself and said "gesundheit" and he leaned over and kissed her and said he loves that she cares about her words, he met her friends on the third date ”It felt so easy. It felt so comfortable”, her friends took “sneaky” picture and videos of them together which Ali said she loves a sneaky pic, took all their date recap videos on his phone, cooked Ali steak on their fourth date, "it's very comfortable", had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, Ali met two of his friends and some of his teammates he plays a rec sport with, had sex the day they took a trip outside of the city, Erica met him before their trip to Greece and I said “he’s dorky in a good way”, WhatsApp video chatted while in Greece and told her “see you in two days!” at the end of their call, said she felt less anxious about him compared to other relationships while on vacation, sent him a birthday present while she was in Greece, felt an energy shift coming back from vacation and didn’t hear back from him 3 days after she came home, Ali requested a call to talk about this distances she was feeling, ”I did the 12 date rule and it didn’t work!”, she said the distance help her see that they’re not compatible, went on a total of 9 dates. Ali talks about the “break up” on episode 123
Mr. Chaotic
Matched on Tinder but he saw Ali at the Chaotic Singles Party and Cassidy the host is there mutual friend, went to a brewery and played games on their first date (Ali said this was her favorite first dates in episode 147 where they recapped 2023), works in entertainment industry, very high energy, knows about FMH and he said she's entertaining to watch, splits his time between NYC and some unknown city, texted while she was in Greece, ”The man gives good texts”
Random Matchmaker Match
Withdrew his match to Ali because he found her FMH socials. Talked about on #71 AUA
Gone with the Wind
Matchmaker match, said some gross things about women in volleyball outfits on their first date, Ali told her matchmaker about this, ”I would describe him as misogynistic overall”, Ali was glad he did say those weird things so early on so she didn’t waste her time, the matchmaker flagged his account. This was around June 2023
The Rock
Ali knows him from an activity that they used to be involved with in the city (she's very vague about what this is) from 8 years ago, he had a very serious/long term GF when they met, follows her personal Insta, has never talked about him because he’s never been a “prospect”, summer 2023 they met up to catch up and found out that he’s now recently single but he’s moving out of NYC for work, Ali texts Cindy saying she thinks this is a date, Cindy said to tell him that you really want to kiss him, he ends up telling Ali “I really want to kiss you”, made out at the bar, Ali invited him back to her apartment and they had sex the night before Ali ended things with The Publicist, “one night stand vibes” but she said she was down to do it again, Patreon only and talked about on #75 AUA
The Tourist
Matched on Hinge, just moved to Brooklynn, went to a brewery in BK for their first date, Ali showed up to the date dripping in sweat, allergic to cats, he sent Ali a ‘no ghosting’ text the next morning
The Stout
Matched on Bumble, ”we had really great banter right away”, laughed the whole time on their first date, talked about going on a second date during their first date
Speed Racer
Matched on Bumble, drinks first date, axe throwing second date, made out after their second date, MOO, randomly texted Ali ~6 months later because he said one of Ali’s date recap videos about him popped up on his FYP (Ali and Erica think this is a lie), he thought Ali wasn’t into him, he claims he was doing all the work with texting even though there was only a few messages since they exchanged numbers after their second date
Billy Joel
Recently sober, Ali said she felt like they had several inside jokes before they met in person, ate pizza on her way to their first date, second date was getting coffee and going to the museum, they cooked dinner together for their third date at Ali’s apartment and they watched 90 Day Fiancé (he didn’t like it), he Googled how to clean a red wine stain when it spilled on her countertop, he asked if she wanted to have sex and she turned it down, the next day/the day before a 7am flight Ali booty called him and they had sex, she was drunk and said the sex wasn’t good/they stopped mid way, helped Ali pack for her flight, Ali said he’s at a crossroad and he doesn’t seem like a long term fit, Erica found a condom on the ground while cat sitting, Ali said she didn’t regret hooking up with him but wishes she hadn’t done it, MOO
Sales Cycle
30 seconds in and Ali said he was very boring, only really talked about his job, stared at Ali’s boobs, “might be a MOO”, texted her ‘merry christmas’

2024

Pie Guy/Dr. Laundry
Matched on The League, 34 years old, requested a nickname change from Pie Guy to Dr. Laundry, he had to cancel their second date because he got hit by a car, went on two dates, Ali sent him a pic of his subway stop saying something along the lines of “the stop isn’t looking as cute today” and turns out someone he dated with in that photo, were supposed to go on a third date the night she got back from a bachelorette party but he didn't answer her text when she said she landed, the next day he asked her how her trip was not acknowledging her previous text at all, Ali expressed her disappointment and he replied that he was tired last night, she said she would've been understanding if he said something then ghosted her
Andddd I stopped listening to the podcast around the Dr. Pie Laundry Guy but have stayed up to date with everything via this sub.
I have a huge interest in dating culture, human behavior and data similar to Ali and this little project of mine was really interesting once I got the framework of this list. I started this list once I found this sub in December 2023 and started re listening to the Patreon while working out (and lost 10 lbs ayeee) and writing down information in my notes app. I did my best to keep this list unbiased and just give facts and information that was said.
My own thoughts after making this list is that I'm very sad for Ali. I didn't realize the extent of her dating history. I think about my own dating history or even my friends who are in their 30's and dating and Ali's dating lore runs so deep. Is Ali unlucky with love? Did she pass on someone that could have been great for her? How has she had so many dates with little success in a long term partner or even going beyond 6-8 dates? Or is Skyline the person she has been waiting for? What's the pattern with all this dates/men? So many questions.
I truly do hope Ali finds her guy because I believe theres someone for everyone. Until then, I'll be hopping into this sub (cause y'all are too funny and give the best advice) and waiting for Ali to find Mr. Height.
Enjoy and I look forward to everyone thoughts! I'll keep my eye out for any edits that need to be made.
Bonus quotes:
“Longest relationship was a little under a year and a half. Haven’t made it past 6 months with anyone else” - AUA #7 11/27/21
“I spent the first 10+ years of my dating life being sort of perennially single” -1. The Actual First One episode 2/21/21
"I think my parent's story is the reason why I think that I can romantically get back together with an ex and it'll work out" -The Dave Glaser Podcast 4/5/21
“Almost every relationship I’ve ever been in, with a couple of exceptions, started as a situationship.” -21. The Undefined One 7/11/21
“All of my boyfriends have been white” -Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“You definitely need an older guy” -Cindy on Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“I’ve been on the dating apps since high school. Dating websites at the time” -Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“Who would be the perfect man for Ali?”
“Clearly a combination of the The Dentist and [the early stages of] The Buffalo” -Cindy on Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“Do you consider The Rower or Disco ball to have been situationships?”
“No, I don't consider either The Rower or The Disco Ball to be situationships” -question asked on TikTok 11/9/22

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PAYMENT: Zelle (strongly preferred), Venmo, CashApp, or Paypal FF. High value orders and new to the sub Zelle only.
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AUTHENTICITY: All of these items have been verified for authenticity using acid tests or a sigma. I offer a full money back guarantee on the authenticity of all items listed. I am happy to send a video of an acid / magnet test if requested.
If you need more pictures or info don’t hesitate to ask.
ORDERS SHIP THE FOLLOWING BUSINESS DAY!
PROOF: https://i.imgur.com/L3dDIAR.jpg
All Prices rounded up to the nearest $0.25
Coins:
Mexican Gold 2 Peso 1945 Restrike (2x) - $133ea
Gold Jewelry (ALL 5% BELOW SPOT):
14K Gold 18.5" 3mm Omega Chain / Necklace 22.514g Signed 14K Italy & MI - $968.55 https://imgur.com/a/KA3iKzo
14K Yellow & White Gold Two-Tone Ring Size 6-3/4 Signed 14K Makers Mark 5.267g - $226.50
https://imgur.com/a/1APzy8K
10K Harley Davidson Heart Pendant 3.75mm x 1.5mm bail 1.682g - $51.75 https://imgur.com/a/Qr9uNdV
10K White Gold Fuchsia CZ Heart Necklace and Earrings Set with 18” Rope Chain Signed 10K 4.39g - $135
https://imgur.com/a/6K5i5E7
40g of 14K scrap @ 95% spot - $43.02/gram (Abunch of cheap Walmart Jewelry & a broken necklace)
5.4g of 10K scrap @ 95% spot - $30.72/gram (Abunch of cheap Walmart Necklaces)
Sterling Silver Necklaces:
20” x ½” HEAVY Figaro Chain 238g - $425
https://imgur.com/a/Y5zO5TV
30” x 6.5mm Italian Curb Chain - 54.47g - $109
https://imgur.com/a/ChMAGwi
16” Italian San Marco Chain with 7” San Marco Bracelet 62.3g - $115
https://imgur.com/a/9IS5uhF
31” Puff Heart Necklace with Italy Rope Chain 15.4g - $35
https://imgur.com/a/LXEXGG5
30.5” Box Chain with Owl Pendant / Brooch (has attachments for both) 11.63g - $33
https://imgur.com/a/pTaT52q
18” Italian Byzantine Chain / Necklace 12.21g - $27.50 (Sold)
19” Italian Square Herringbone Style Sterling Chain with Czech Pendant - 6.28g - $20
https://imgur.com/a/ANY2KWM
18” Italian Sterling Box Chain with Ross Simon Cross Pendant 2.61g - $20
https://imgur.com/a/L8DjEYl
20” Italian Gold Vermeil Fancy Rope Chain 5.34g - $20 (Sold)
17.5” Lotus Studio Aventurine Sterling Necklace 2.11g - $12 (Sold)
16” Sterling Abstract Glass Pendant Necklace 15.96g - $25
https://imgur.com/a/c2X7Ykq
18” 925 Box Chain with Synthetic 14x10mm Sapphire Pendant & Matching Earrings with 10x8mm Sapphires 8.12g - $30
https://imgur.com/a/8WAi9jl
18” 925 Gold Vermeil Box Chain with Pear Cut Ceylon Sapphire Pendant & Matching Triangle CZ Earrings 12.13g - $30
https://imgur.com/a/DbenkRb
20” Italian Millefiori Necklace with Circular Glass Pendant 3.18g - $25
https://imgur.com/a/UxC0pBf
15.5” Italian Millefiori Bead Necklace 3.98g - $20
https://imgur.com/a/OXOxnYk
15.5” Italian Murano Style Necklace (Note the wire is ferrous for strength, clasp and non-stone charms are sterling) - $15
https://imgur.com/a/UoyGHPq
15” Native American Fetish Necklace (Note the wire is elastic material for strength, beads and pendants are sterling) - $30
https://imgur.com/a/4OQKVFr
17” Sterling Bead / Clasp Turquoise Nugget Necklace (Note the wire is ferrous material for strength, beads and clasp are sterling) - $15
https://imgur.com/a/5ikva93
Sterling Silver Bracelets & Pendants: https://imgur.com/a/UZ3M9PR
8.5” x ½” Heavy Curb Bracelet 53.6g - $105
Taxco 7.5” Juan Luis Flores 70s Vintage Bracelet 43.49g - $87
Sterling Flower Filigree Bracelet 8” 10.19g - $30
Sterling Rose & Garnet Tennis Bracelet 7.5” 13.43g - $35
Ross Simon Sterling Rose Quartz Aventurine Tennis Bracelet 7” 9.50g - $30
Sterling Native American Bear Bracelet (Note the wire is ferrous for strength, clasp and non-stone charms are sterling) - $40
Sterling Silver 2-Strand Malachite Bracelet 7” 2.32g - $20
Sterling Clasp Faceted AB Crystal Bracelet with amazing sparkle (Note the wire is ferrous for strength, only clasp is sterling) 7” - $15
Taxco Hummingbird Pendant / Brooch (has both attachments) 11.95g - $24
Sterling Pink CZ Butterfly Bracelet 7.25” 7.5g - $27.50
Sterling Silver Earrings: https://imgur.com/a/rTrTKTE
Larimar Dangle Earrings 1g - $12
Dolphin Jumping through Hoop Drop Earrings 6.86g - $15
Taxco Sterling Half Circle Bohemian Hoop Earrings 9.24g - $20
Taxco Sterling Triangle Drop Earrings 9.43g - $18
Taxco Sterling Shell / Feather Drop Earrings 6.01g - $15
Taxco Sterling Triangle / Bead Drop Earrings 21.79g - $25
Flower Drop Earrings with Aquamarine Stones 9.28g - $25
Teardrop Shaped Earring with Black Beads 5.13g - $15
Concentric Oval Earrings 2.05g - $12
Leaf / White Opal Studs (Brilliant Luster on these) 2.22g - $40
Vintage Filigree Sterling Drop Earrings (Super intricate) 14.33g - $20
Vintage Sterling Dragonfly Earrings 12.39g - $20
Heart Shaped Drop Earrings with Lapis Stones 5.22g - $15
Sterling Silver Rings: https://imgur.com/gallery/65jVHip
Bali Swirl Design Sterling Ring Size 7-1/2 11.06g - $27.50
Large 925 Ring with CZ Size 6 5.97g - $18
Large 925 Ring with CZ and Flower Engraving Size 6 9.28g - $18
925 Ring with Bands of CZ Size 6 5.9g - $18
Wedding Band Style 925 Ring with Moissanite Size 6 2.41g - $18
Shablool Didae Israeli Filigree Style Ring Size 7.5 One-of-a-kind 8g - $25
Sterling Silver Kitchen / Dining (MOST @ 95%): https://imgur.com/a/QW6x0ot
Porter Blanchard Sterling Tea Pot 612g - $543.25 (95% of SPOT)
Gorham Sterling Footed Bowl 619g - $549.50 (95% of SPOT)
Sterling Coasters (2) 86g - $76.50 (95% of SPOT)
Pimaral Peru Sterling Serving Set 311g - $276 (95% of SPOT)
Gorham Sterling Etruscan Spoon & Butter Pick 71g - $63 (95% of SPOT)
International Sterling Joan of Arc 5 Piece Set 204g - $181 (95% of SPOT)
Assorted Sterling Spoons (Unmarked and the smaller two are thin) 44g - $39 (95% of SPOT)
English Shell by Lunt Sterling Silver Soup Spoons (4) 135g - $119.75 (95% of SPOT)
La Touraine by Reed & Barton Sterling Tea Spoon 30.34g - $27 (95% of SPOT)
Lunt Lus60 Sterling Silver Salt Spoon 2.94g - $10
51.15g of Sterling Scrap @ 90% - $43
https://i.imgur.com/nHVssYc.jpg

I am 8 months pregnant. My husband was murdered in front of me at 2 months pregnant. He was my best friend and soul mate. No one understood me better than he. Our baby shower is on Sunday.
On Wednesday, I spoke to my sister in law about a perfume he had picked out for me but never got around to finding one online. He liked the scent very much. She said she would try to find one.
Well, I woke up to a package with no return address. I text her a picture and said "thank you so much!"
She did not send it. My sister did not send it. My mom in law did not send it. I haven't talked to anyone about the perfume since Wednesday.
I thought my sister in law was fucking with me but she isn't and would not joke about something like that.
Literal goosebumps right now.

I am the youngest sibling in our family I have 2 older sisters and 2 brothers, My dad is not home because he is a seaman so he works far abroad, It was started when i was 14 years old, I share my bed with my mom and everynight when I was about to sleep I hear a man's voice on my mom's phone I know for sure its not dad because the man's voice is much deeper and my dad is not, its like they are on a video call, I didnt move a muscle and waited for my mom to sleep but for awhile I drifted to sleep too but then I woke up around 1 to 2 am its still dark but then I remember about the man's voice on my mom's phone, so I slowly got up from my bed and crawl to the floor to my mom's small table where she putted her phone, I know her password so I putted it in and it works, I took a scroll to her phone and Tap the messanger and there I saw that man's profile picture I checked on their convos and dont get me wrong, I was only 14 years old that time and I was crying silently seeing that my mom who I loved and trusted the most turns out to be a cheating woman, I took a picture of their convos and I showed it to my both sisters and they said that I should keep it a secret so I did hide and never told anyone because I was scared that our family would fall apart. After one year later I am 15 now and I was just writing something and one of my close friends texted me saying I have to see the video she sent and I was so discusted as I saw my mom on the video masterbaiting having a video call with THAT Man jacking like EW I cried in discusted and trembling in fear and keep thinking things like, How the heck did she got that, Who sent that video? Many questions repeated in my head and texted my friend who send that? But she didnt know now because the person just blocked her so she doesnt have a clue and there a bomb truck me. What if the video gets shared and blow up? What if everyone will see it in my whole school? Or worst what will happend if my dad finds out? What should I do?? Should I tell my dad???

(Apologies beforehand for the length and or grammar) So for background I am a (21 F). I referred to my stepmother(36F) as my mother before this. I don’t now. My father (41M) has been with SM for almost eleven years. Ever since I was 10. Earlier last year, actually around this time -may- of last year my blood little sister (F18) she was 17 at the time, called me bawling telling me that our aunt (SM sister), told her SM was cheating with this man. If that’s what you want to call him. Saying they had relations, had been hanging alone together, ect. I was so mad my Little Sister had to walk around the house not saying anything. /Mind you I don’t live at their house but visit often, but as soon as I turned 18 I moved in with my BF(19M) and his phenomenal family./ She was so distraught. And I was so upset to see her like that. I turned full protector mode and honestly might not have been the best idea but I was so tired of SM doing this again…. For context-when I was 13 I believe, we (SM, LS, and I) went on a trip to the beach with her work friends and while there I was in the car with SM. She stopped at the gas station and I stayed in the car. Her phone started pinging crazily and I thought it was Dad. It was not, it was an unknown number but the words I saw popping up on the screen were enough to rattle me. I started shaking and grabbed her phone and looked at the conversation. These texts coming in were the only ones in the chat. But the person on the other side was talking about basically (defiling) my SM. I immediately put the phone back where it was and tried to focus and not freak out. How was I supposed to approach this? I was hours away from my father. And my young self was obsessed with my SM. But my head was spinning. I confronted her after we were done driving and got back to the beach house. I told her what I saw and asked her why and she told me to please understand and not say anything to my Father because they were fighting at the time and told me that it was just “her friends son had gotten to his mothers phone to send those texts to my SM” I swallowed that lie and pushed everything from my mind, I regret it indefinitely to this day. Not saying anything then….. but back to the present 2023-2024
So with my information I made a group chat with both SM and my Father and laid out the facts that I had been presented with. Mainly I was pissed at my SM that my Little Sister was the one to find out and that she was in so much pain. Of course SM was mad I didn’t reach out to her individually. We had a long texting spiel which ended up in her making excuses for everything her sister said. Deny deny deny. But the damage was done. Discord was struck and it was time for everything to start. Soon enough the text messages were found, the love notes, suspicion, and the beginning of the end. :Their relationship had already been strained before this because of various marital fights, and in no way am I saying she is the bad person in all this or that he’s perfect. They’ve both messed up. But this new information was too much. Messing with my blood was too much for me: But they also are taking care of two minors (my eldest “blood’s” 23F, her children) I don’t refer to her as my sister. God forgive me but she has parts of the devil inside her. But I love those children with all my heart. Another story for never. Anywho, that’s why they’re still “together” married. Months passed and talks of separating, lawyers and fights were flying. None of that compared to what’s happened in 2024, she dropped her last cheat and now is “with” my little sisters best friends dad…. Oh but my bad that’s just speculation…. I guess going over to his house alone to “help repair walls” or at my parents house alone with just her and the kids… her telling me to my face that she found him attractive, to hiding her car in his garage behind /cheats/ car and much more. But she never and I mean NEVER had time to hang with her family because she’s soo swamped with her business… Every year for Mother’s day-before this year my BF and I went all out. EVERY YEAR since I was able to work and have my own money. I mean streamers, cake, dinner, decorations inside AND outside in the yard and also presents. And never once did we get anything more than a hug and a Thankyou. And I was grateful…. Then this year she posts “To these Two beautiful daughters of mine, I am one lucky momma” and then posted a picture of MY little sister and /Cheat #2’s/ daughter. And I am the asshole in their (SM,LS) eyes because I didn’t say Happy Mother’s Day. I didn’t go over there. Nothing. To a person that never reaches out to me, expects me to text her asking about what’s going on in her life right now. When that’s all I, and only I ever did before all of this happened. It’s just getting worse and worse now but I won’t release what’s happening as of now to ensure I don’t mess up anything if courts come into this. So I’m asking AITA for telling my father, breaking up their marriage and now not considering my SM my mother because of what she posted?

Hi everybody, aspiring translator here, and French native.
I already speak English, and the next 5 years in uni will solidify that. However, I now have to pick 2 other languages to study , which are supposed to become part of my working roster once I graduate. I set my sights on Chinese. But when it comes to the 2nd language... I genuinely can't decide between German and Russian. I've combed through 100+ topics on Reddit and Quora, dabbled in both, and still genuinely can't decide, so I'm asking you guys for help.
TL;DR at the end of this wall of text ;)
Professional Aspects
Russian would give me the edge of knowing 4 of the 6 official UN languages at the end of my studies, and since I already have solid bases in Spanish, getting to 5 would be fairly easy.
On the other hand, European Institutions mostly seek translators for European languages, and as such Russian would be largely irrelevant. Chinese will still be somewhat useful I think, due to China being the #1 economic partner of the EU, but Russian doesn't hold quite that weight. So in regards to EU institutions, German would likely serve me much better.
Furthermore, freelance opportunities wise, German appears to be quite a bit more sought after, and pays better in terms of rate.
German speaking countries have much bigger economies, the GDP of Germany on its own is already double that of Russia. Moreover, Germany is France's top 1 business partner. Russia doesn't even make it to the top 10. Which once again suggests a bigger pool for opportunities.
Add the current politocal climate, and most indicators point to German being the better professional choice.
https://preply.com/en/blog/lucrative-languages-2023/
According to this article, Russian doesn't land in the top 10 by pay/demand, neither in the US, nor in the UK.
Difficulty
According to my research, since I already speak English and French, German should take moderate effort. The FSI estimates hang around 750 hours for German. That same organization puts Russian at 1100 hours.
According to my research, Russian grammar is widely considered to be an absolute nightmare to deal with (so is German grammar, but not quite to the same extent).
From my very surface level dabbling, I've found Russian immensely easier and more intuitive to pronounce. German takes a lot of conscious effort and feels very unnatural, my jaw and tongue legit feel sore after a while.
Having studied Ancient Greek, declensions aren't all that daunting. I have a pretty solid grasp of the concept, but they do take some conscious effort to use when speaking orally and due to how liberally Russian uses them, it may become an issue. German being generally easier means it'd be easier to combine with learning Chinese without damaging one or the other too bad.
Personal Affinity
I have a major love & hate dynamic with Russian. I am OBSESSED with the way Russian sounds. I'm not exaggerating whatsoever when I say it's the most elegant language I've ever heard. The only one I think could compete is Greek. I've been listening to Russian music for years, I often set some of my games in Russian just for the sake of hearing it.
But I have no interest in Russia's culture or history whatsoever. In fact, being part of a group that's actively hated by the average Russian, I have major issues with it. I've seen too much shit that completely destroyed any kind of appreciation I may have had for Russia as a country. I find little meaning in sinking so much time in learning to communicate with people who won't want to be associated with me and wouldn't care if I live or die. The russian litterature holds little appeal to me so that's not a good motivator either.
I don't see myself ever stepping foot in Russia for more than a tourist stay of 1 or 2 weeks, and I feel that such lack of engagement with native speakers has the potential to truly ruin my ability to get and maintain a good level in the language.
When it comes to Russian, my sole motivator is genuinely how cool it sounds, and how I'd love to be able to speak it. Except speaking it may even take that away from me, since finding meaning in it may ruin its melody.
As for German... I used to think it sounded horrible. Until I actually got exposed to it. Now I think it sounds badass af. Not half as cool as Russian/Greek, but cool enough that I'd enjoy learning and speaking it.
I don't feel any particular pull towards German culture, but as opposed to Russia, I could 100% picture myself living in a German speaking country for a few years. I'll also have a much easier time finding and engaging with natives.
Other aspects I'm considering
German has less speakers, and most native German speakers are competent English speakers, which limits the usefulness of German.
Russian speakers on the other hand are less proficient in English, but Russian is actively loosing influence as a language, with most of the former USSR countries completely dropping Russian. It's no longer anywhere near a Lingua Franca in Eastern Europe, and considering Russia's birthrate...
One specific thing though, is the relative lack of Russian dialects compared to the absolutely ludicrous amount of German dialects, a good chunk of which are only somewhat intelligible.
TL;DR:
Pros of Russian: Huge fan of the language itself and how it sounds, more native speakers, more niche, easier to pronounce, I consume more Russian media, less English proficiency amongst Russian speakers, lack of dialects
Cons of Russian: More difficult, less opportunities as a whole, appears to be actively loosing influence, lack of interest in Russian culture if not outright distaste for it
Pros of German: Significantly easier, more opportunities, I'm significantly more open to German culture and values leading to more chances for interaction and stays in German speaking environments.
Cons of German: I enjoy the way it sounds less, less speakers as a whole, very high english proficiency amongst native speakers, relative lack of interest in German media production, large amounts of dialects
Writing all of this honestly made me realize I kind of already know the answer, I just have a tough time fully accepting it. Still feeling a bit of a pinch at the prospect of not learning Russian, but maybe for me it's one of those things that are best left admired from a distance.