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2024.06.02 08:18 Maj31720 How do you escape the hookup apps? And where do I look for better guys?
I’m just at the end of my rope trying to make hookup culture work in my favor. This guy hit me up and seemed super interested. Traded face pics and everything. So, he game me an address and when I say that I’ve arrived, I get blocked. I honestly don’t understand why people do stuff like that and I’m just over it all. Being blocked for no reason or getting flaked on makes me lose all hope that I’ll even find, at the VERY least, a fwb. I’m not unattractive, in fact, the guy told me how sexy I was and everything. I don’t understand why I’m having so much trouble and I’m so tired of wasting my time. I’m thinking about giving up altogether…. But what do you do after that? I’ll still be super horny and lonely, but I refuse to keep going through this cycle.
submitted by Maj31720 to askgaybros [link] [comments]
2024.06.02 08:04 ReasonDear7255 Help I am completely lost - what do you think makes someone entitled?
I am not entirely sure how to write this so please excuse the word vomit that is about to happen. Thank you.
I am an 18 year old online college student and I've always had a bit of trouble making friends and being able to keep them. My anxious tendency's make it hard for me to fully understand why someone would truly want to be my friend. I'm in therapy trying to work this my issues and trying to find better ways of communication. While I've only been in therapy for a short while I, personally, feel like made a ton of progress. I have contacted old friends and have made a couple new ones. I wouldn't go as far to say that I don't struggle with responding but I eventually will.
A big part of my anxiety is that I might take up "too much space", that my behavior would be "too much", that I would be annoying, and ultimately that people would hate be and I'd be lonely. My anxiety sometimes blinds me and I can't tell who I can and can't trust. I see the word alone being used a lot when people use it to describe how they feel but I don't feel alone. The word alone in the dictionary reads "having no one present" and the work lonely in the dictionary reads "without companions; solitary; cut off from others". I believe that the word lonely fits the description of my feeling better than alone. I know that I enjoy my alone time - my space - but for a long time I couldn't tell the difference between the two.
The first time I ever really felt my anxiety was in middle school. My younger self was much more open and optimistic than I am now. I still had that child-like wonder and sense of safety; like nothing could ever go wrong. I wish that feeling never left. As it is for most people, middle school was horrible. I remember being eccentric, happy, and very talkative. This was a direct hit for those "mean girl clicks" everyone had encountered in middle school. At that time I never really understand how cruel the world could truly be. This was the moment I truly felt the anxiety click in, hearing people talk behind your back then be so loving and caring to your face.I won't say that I am a saint because I know that I have also had rude conversations behind peoples backs and I can say nothing eats me alive more then knowing how rude I was. I know that it is almost impossible to get people to not talk about you behind your back, it happens to everyone but this never stopped me from trying.
Those "mean girl clicks" used to talk about how I'm too loud, annoying, they hated my hair, the way I dressed, etc. And I can positively say this went on with me though my entire life. I started dressing in all black, I would speak unless spoken to, I would keep my opinion to myself unless cued otherwise; I did all of this and more just to try and keep the attention off of me. I would keep a book with me at all times so I didn't disrupt anyone so that wouldn't be annoying. I was so fearful of seeing self-centered, being too much to handle, annoying, egotistical, and entitled to how much damage I was doing to my self worth in the long run. I wanted to so anything to avoid being those words because I thought that it would earn me friends; I thought that it would finally make me worthy.
All of this is to say that this was of living followed me though my life. Anytime someone needed something I was the first to volunteer, I wanted to help everyone in every way I could, I wanted to be a natural friend of people. A neutral friend - someone who was like enough to keep around but not noticeable enough to be talked about behind their back. I did this with everyone I met at school, work, family, etc. With this my therapist has helped me open up more and I've gotten more comfortable with myself and the fact that it's okay for me to take up space. However, I am still very aware of how I am acting and how I might be perceived. I think three times about what I am going to say before I say it to make sure I don't say anything that can hurt someone. Does it still accidentally happen, yes, but I am always empathic about it and I always apologize.
I have been in a bit of a job switch recently and I am working with people much older than me and I have had a hard time with management. My most recent bosses and have rude, unforgiving, and disrespectful. Now I understand that not all jobs will be perfect and for the most part you just have to deal with it but as I've said above I take comments that are made to me seriously. I know this can be a bad thing to do but my anxiety had a tendency to pick it up and run with it. My employer makes the schedule on a monthly basis, I am a full-time employee, and for the past two months I have worked 20-25 days each month and now the new schedule (June) I am only scheduled to work for 11 days. With quick math working 11 days can't pay my car insurance let alone the car note. I was understandably, in my opinion, upset and I took it up with them the next day so that I was not speaking out of anger in the moment. When I brought it up to my employer the next morning they told me that 30% of my productivity can from them helping me and the other 70% came from me working alone. I was essentially told that my productivity level was too low and that if I wanted to work more then I need to "prove myself". This honestly stirred a lot of my past worried and anxieties about never be good enough and not being worthy. And while that's not what was explicitly said it is what my anxiety heard.
When I finally got home (I live with a relative) they asked me what was wrong and I had explained the situation with that and I that I felt like I was being productive and trying my hardest. They had brought up the idea that my productivity level might be the issue and when I asked further I was met with one of the more gut-wrenching comments I have ever had anyone say about me. They told me that I act entitled. I have been called many things but for be being called entitled, one of the very things I have tried so hard not to be, it completely broke me inside. I have entered a few inserts below about my "Being Entitled" search.
Entitled - Adjective - Google Definition
They still never apologized and I truly don't think that they will. I've been dwelling on their comment about me being entitled everyday. And everyday it makes me more and more anxious, I've noticed myself being more secluded to avoid stepping on anyones toes. I think what I am looking for here is opinions that aren't mine or theirs. I know that was a lot to read but if you did I would appreciate some feedback. Do I seem entitled? Do I deserve an apology? How do I deal with something like this because I am completely lost.
Thank you for reading my word-vomit <3
submitted by ReasonDear7255 to Advice [link] [comments]
I am an 18 year old online college student and I've always had a bit of trouble making friends and being able to keep them. My anxious tendency's make it hard for me to fully understand why someone would truly want to be my friend. I'm in therapy trying to work this my issues and trying to find better ways of communication. While I've only been in therapy for a short while I, personally, feel like made a ton of progress. I have contacted old friends and have made a couple new ones. I wouldn't go as far to say that I don't struggle with responding but I eventually will.
A big part of my anxiety is that I might take up "too much space", that my behavior would be "too much", that I would be annoying, and ultimately that people would hate be and I'd be lonely. My anxiety sometimes blinds me and I can't tell who I can and can't trust. I see the word alone being used a lot when people use it to describe how they feel but I don't feel alone. The word alone in the dictionary reads "having no one present" and the work lonely in the dictionary reads "without companions; solitary; cut off from others". I believe that the word lonely fits the description of my feeling better than alone. I know that I enjoy my alone time - my space - but for a long time I couldn't tell the difference between the two.
The first time I ever really felt my anxiety was in middle school. My younger self was much more open and optimistic than I am now. I still had that child-like wonder and sense of safety; like nothing could ever go wrong. I wish that feeling never left. As it is for most people, middle school was horrible. I remember being eccentric, happy, and very talkative. This was a direct hit for those "mean girl clicks" everyone had encountered in middle school. At that time I never really understand how cruel the world could truly be. This was the moment I truly felt the anxiety click in, hearing people talk behind your back then be so loving and caring to your face.I won't say that I am a saint because I know that I have also had rude conversations behind peoples backs and I can say nothing eats me alive more then knowing how rude I was. I know that it is almost impossible to get people to not talk about you behind your back, it happens to everyone but this never stopped me from trying.
Those "mean girl clicks" used to talk about how I'm too loud, annoying, they hated my hair, the way I dressed, etc. And I can positively say this went on with me though my entire life. I started dressing in all black, I would speak unless spoken to, I would keep my opinion to myself unless cued otherwise; I did all of this and more just to try and keep the attention off of me. I would keep a book with me at all times so I didn't disrupt anyone so that wouldn't be annoying. I was so fearful of seeing self-centered, being too much to handle, annoying, egotistical, and entitled to how much damage I was doing to my self worth in the long run. I wanted to so anything to avoid being those words because I thought that it would earn me friends; I thought that it would finally make me worthy.
All of this is to say that this was of living followed me though my life. Anytime someone needed something I was the first to volunteer, I wanted to help everyone in every way I could, I wanted to be a natural friend of people. A neutral friend - someone who was like enough to keep around but not noticeable enough to be talked about behind their back. I did this with everyone I met at school, work, family, etc. With this my therapist has helped me open up more and I've gotten more comfortable with myself and the fact that it's okay for me to take up space. However, I am still very aware of how I am acting and how I might be perceived. I think three times about what I am going to say before I say it to make sure I don't say anything that can hurt someone. Does it still accidentally happen, yes, but I am always empathic about it and I always apologize.
I have been in a bit of a job switch recently and I am working with people much older than me and I have had a hard time with management. My most recent bosses and have rude, unforgiving, and disrespectful. Now I understand that not all jobs will be perfect and for the most part you just have to deal with it but as I've said above I take comments that are made to me seriously. I know this can be a bad thing to do but my anxiety had a tendency to pick it up and run with it. My employer makes the schedule on a monthly basis, I am a full-time employee, and for the past two months I have worked 20-25 days each month and now the new schedule (June) I am only scheduled to work for 11 days. With quick math working 11 days can't pay my car insurance let alone the car note. I was understandably, in my opinion, upset and I took it up with them the next day so that I was not speaking out of anger in the moment. When I brought it up to my employer the next morning they told me that 30% of my productivity can from them helping me and the other 70% came from me working alone. I was essentially told that my productivity level was too low and that if I wanted to work more then I need to "prove myself". This honestly stirred a lot of my past worried and anxieties about never be good enough and not being worthy. And while that's not what was explicitly said it is what my anxiety heard.
When I finally got home (I live with a relative) they asked me what was wrong and I had explained the situation with that and I that I felt like I was being productive and trying my hardest. They had brought up the idea that my productivity level might be the issue and when I asked further I was met with one of the more gut-wrenching comments I have ever had anyone say about me. They told me that I act entitled. I have been called many things but for be being called entitled, one of the very things I have tried so hard not to be, it completely broke me inside. I have entered a few inserts below about my "Being Entitled" search.
Entitled - Adjective - Google Definition
- Believing oneself to be inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment.
- Feeling that you have the right to do or have what you want without having to work for it or deserve it just because you are who you are.
- Demanding special treatment, expecting others to do things for you, not showing gratitude, and the need for constant adornment.
- You see your own interest more interesting than others. See your goal and desires to be more valid than others. You disregard rules that are intended for everyones comfort.
- In many cases, describing someone as entitled may be a criticism of their behavior or attitude, suggesting that they display a lack of humility or an unrealistic sense of self-importance.
They still never apologized and I truly don't think that they will. I've been dwelling on their comment about me being entitled everyday. And everyday it makes me more and more anxious, I've noticed myself being more secluded to avoid stepping on anyones toes. I think what I am looking for here is opinions that aren't mine or theirs. I know that was a lot to read but if you did I would appreciate some feedback. Do I seem entitled? Do I deserve an apology? How do I deal with something like this because I am completely lost.
Thank you for reading my word-vomit <3
2024.06.02 07:57 ReasonDear7255 Help I am completely lost - Do you think I am entitled?
I am not entirely sure how to write this so please excuse the word vomit that is about to happen. Thank you.
I am an 18 year old online college student and I've always had a bit of trouble making friends and being able to keep them. My anxious tendency's make it hard for me to fully understand why someone would truly want to be my friend. I'm in therapy trying to work this my issues and trying to find better ways of communication. While I've only been in therapy for a short while I, personally, feel like made a ton of progress. I have contacted old friends and have made a couple new ones. I wouldn't go as far to say that I don't struggle with responding but I eventually will.
A big part of my anxiety is that I might take up "too much space", that my behavior would be "too much", that I would be annoying, and ultimately that people would hate be and I'd be lonely. My anxiety sometimes blinds me and I can't tell who I can and can't trust. I see the word alone being used a lot when people use it to describe how they feel but I don't feel alone. The word alone in the dictionary reads "having no one present" and the work lonely in the dictionary reads "without companions; solitary; cut off from others". I believe that the word lonely fits the description of my feeling better than alone. I know that I enjoy my alone time - my space - but for a long time I couldn't tell the difference between the two.
The first time I ever really felt my anxiety was in middle school. My younger self was much more open and optimistic than I am now. I still had that child-like wonder and sense of safety; like nothing could ever go wrong. I wish that feeling never left. As it is for most people, middle school was horrible. I remember being eccentric, happy, and very talkative. This was a direct hit for those "mean girl clicks" everyone had encountered in middle school. At that time I never really understand how cruel the world could truly be. This was the moment I truly felt the anxiety click in, hearing people talk behind your back then be so loving and caring to your face.I won't say that I am a saint because I know that I have also had rude conversations behind peoples backs and I can say nothing eats me alive more then knowing how rude I was. I know that it is almost impossible to get people to not talk about you behind your back, it happens to everyone but this never stopped me from trying.
Those "mean girl clicks" used to talk about how I'm too loud, annoying, they hated my hair, the way I dressed, etc. And I can positively say this went on with me though my entire life. I started dressing in all black, I would speak unless spoken to, I would keep my opinion to myself unless cued otherwise; I did all of this and more just to try and keep the attention off of me. I would keep a book with me at all times so I didn't disrupt anyone so that wouldn't be annoying. I was so fearful of seeing self-centered, being too much to handle, annoying, egotistical, and entitled to how much damage I was doing to my self worth in the long run. I wanted to so anything to avoid being those words because I thought that it would earn me friends; I thought that it would finally make me worthy.
All of this is to say that this was of living followed me though my life. Anytime someone needed something I was the first to volunteer, I wanted to help everyone in every way I could, I wanted to be a natural friend of people. A neutral friend - someone who was like enough to keep around but not noticeable enough to be talked about behind their back. I did this with everyone I met at school, work, family, etc. With this my therapist has helped me open up more and I've gotten more comfortable with myself and the fact that it's okay for me to take up space. However, I am still very aware of how I am acting and how I might be perceived. I think three times about what I am going to say before I say it to make sure I don't say anything that can hurt someone. Does it still accidentally happen, yes, but I am always empathic about it and I always apologize.
I have been in a bit of a job switch recently and I am working with people much older than me and I have had a hard time with management. My most recent bosses and have rude, unforgiving, and disrespectful. Now I understand that not all jobs will be perfect and for the most part you just have to deal with it but as I've said above I take comments that are made to me seriously. I know this can be a bad thing to do but my anxiety had a tendency to pick it up and run with it. My employer makes the schedule on a monthly basis, I am a full-time employee, and for the past two months I have worked 20-25 days each month and now the new schedule (June) I am only scheduled to work for 11 days. With quick math working 11 days can't pay my car insurance let alone the car note. I was understandably, in my opinion, upset and I took it up with them the next day so that I was not speaking out of anger in the moment. When I brought it up to my employer the next morning they told me that 30% of my productivity can from them helping me and the other 70% came from me working alone. I was essentially told that my productivity level was too low and that if I wanted to work more then I need to "prove myself". This honestly stirred a lot of my past worried and anxieties about never be good enough and not being worthy. And while that's not what was explicitly said it is what my anxiety heard.
When I finally got home (I live with a relative) they asked me what was wrong and I had explained the situation with that and I that I felt like I was being productive and trying my hardest. They had brought up the idea that my productivity level might be the issue and when I asked further I was met with one of the more gut-wrenching comments I have ever had anyone say about me. They told me that I act entitled. I have been called many things but for be being called entitled, one of the very things I have tried so hard not to be, it completely broke me inside. I have entered a few inserts below about my "Being Entitled" search.
Entitled - Adjective - Google Definition
They still never apologized and I truly don't think that they will. I've been dwelling on their comment about me being entitled everyday. And everyday it makes me more and more anxious, I've noticed myself being more secluded to avoid stepping on anyones toes. I think what I am looking for here is opinions that aren't mine or theirs. I know that was a lot to read but if you did I would appreciate some feedback. Do I seem entitled? Do I deserve an apology? How do I deal with something like this because I am completely lost.
Thank you for reading my word-vomit <3
submitted by ReasonDear7255 to Anxiety [link] [comments]
I am an 18 year old online college student and I've always had a bit of trouble making friends and being able to keep them. My anxious tendency's make it hard for me to fully understand why someone would truly want to be my friend. I'm in therapy trying to work this my issues and trying to find better ways of communication. While I've only been in therapy for a short while I, personally, feel like made a ton of progress. I have contacted old friends and have made a couple new ones. I wouldn't go as far to say that I don't struggle with responding but I eventually will.
A big part of my anxiety is that I might take up "too much space", that my behavior would be "too much", that I would be annoying, and ultimately that people would hate be and I'd be lonely. My anxiety sometimes blinds me and I can't tell who I can and can't trust. I see the word alone being used a lot when people use it to describe how they feel but I don't feel alone. The word alone in the dictionary reads "having no one present" and the work lonely in the dictionary reads "without companions; solitary; cut off from others". I believe that the word lonely fits the description of my feeling better than alone. I know that I enjoy my alone time - my space - but for a long time I couldn't tell the difference between the two.
The first time I ever really felt my anxiety was in middle school. My younger self was much more open and optimistic than I am now. I still had that child-like wonder and sense of safety; like nothing could ever go wrong. I wish that feeling never left. As it is for most people, middle school was horrible. I remember being eccentric, happy, and very talkative. This was a direct hit for those "mean girl clicks" everyone had encountered in middle school. At that time I never really understand how cruel the world could truly be. This was the moment I truly felt the anxiety click in, hearing people talk behind your back then be so loving and caring to your face.I won't say that I am a saint because I know that I have also had rude conversations behind peoples backs and I can say nothing eats me alive more then knowing how rude I was. I know that it is almost impossible to get people to not talk about you behind your back, it happens to everyone but this never stopped me from trying.
Those "mean girl clicks" used to talk about how I'm too loud, annoying, they hated my hair, the way I dressed, etc. And I can positively say this went on with me though my entire life. I started dressing in all black, I would speak unless spoken to, I would keep my opinion to myself unless cued otherwise; I did all of this and more just to try and keep the attention off of me. I would keep a book with me at all times so I didn't disrupt anyone so that wouldn't be annoying. I was so fearful of seeing self-centered, being too much to handle, annoying, egotistical, and entitled to how much damage I was doing to my self worth in the long run. I wanted to so anything to avoid being those words because I thought that it would earn me friends; I thought that it would finally make me worthy.
All of this is to say that this was of living followed me though my life. Anytime someone needed something I was the first to volunteer, I wanted to help everyone in every way I could, I wanted to be a natural friend of people. A neutral friend - someone who was like enough to keep around but not noticeable enough to be talked about behind their back. I did this with everyone I met at school, work, family, etc. With this my therapist has helped me open up more and I've gotten more comfortable with myself and the fact that it's okay for me to take up space. However, I am still very aware of how I am acting and how I might be perceived. I think three times about what I am going to say before I say it to make sure I don't say anything that can hurt someone. Does it still accidentally happen, yes, but I am always empathic about it and I always apologize.
I have been in a bit of a job switch recently and I am working with people much older than me and I have had a hard time with management. My most recent bosses and have rude, unforgiving, and disrespectful. Now I understand that not all jobs will be perfect and for the most part you just have to deal with it but as I've said above I take comments that are made to me seriously. I know this can be a bad thing to do but my anxiety had a tendency to pick it up and run with it. My employer makes the schedule on a monthly basis, I am a full-time employee, and for the past two months I have worked 20-25 days each month and now the new schedule (June) I am only scheduled to work for 11 days. With quick math working 11 days can't pay my car insurance let alone the car note. I was understandably, in my opinion, upset and I took it up with them the next day so that I was not speaking out of anger in the moment. When I brought it up to my employer the next morning they told me that 30% of my productivity can from them helping me and the other 70% came from me working alone. I was essentially told that my productivity level was too low and that if I wanted to work more then I need to "prove myself". This honestly stirred a lot of my past worried and anxieties about never be good enough and not being worthy. And while that's not what was explicitly said it is what my anxiety heard.
When I finally got home (I live with a relative) they asked me what was wrong and I had explained the situation with that and I that I felt like I was being productive and trying my hardest. They had brought up the idea that my productivity level might be the issue and when I asked further I was met with one of the more gut-wrenching comments I have ever had anyone say about me. They told me that I act entitled. I have been called many things but for be being called entitled, one of the very things I have tried so hard not to be, it completely broke me inside. I have entered a few inserts below about my "Being Entitled" search.
Entitled - Adjective - Google Definition
- Believing oneself to be inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment.
- Feeling that you have the right to do or have what you want without having to work for it or deserve it just because you are who you are.
- Demanding special treatment, expecting others to do things for you, not showing gratitude, and the need for constant adornment.
- You see your own interest more interesting than others. See your goal and desires to be more valid than others. You disregard rules that are intended for everyones comfort.
- In many cases, describing someone as entitled may be a criticism of their behavior or attitude, suggesting that they display a lack of humility or an unrealistic sense of self-importance.
They still never apologized and I truly don't think that they will. I've been dwelling on their comment about me being entitled everyday. And everyday it makes me more and more anxious, I've noticed myself being more secluded to avoid stepping on anyones toes. I think what I am looking for here is opinions that aren't mine or theirs. I know that was a lot to read but if you did I would appreciate some feedback. Do I seem entitled? Do I deserve an apology? How do I deal with something like this because I am completely lost.
Thank you for reading my word-vomit <3
2024.06.02 07:55 EmotionalRecord0 35 [F4M] Chicago/Illinois looking for a man who genuinely wants to be with me.
My name is Justine I've had a hard time finding love due to the fact that I'm infertile since birth because I'm an intersex female, I'm 5'9 mixed with black and Brazilian and Interested in a guy in the Chicagoland area preferably in the downtown or northern area in general. I like to read, cook, bake, clean, knit, exercise, eat healthy, take bike rides on the lake, go to the beach and I do want kids one day, it would have to be through adoption or IVF. Please if your interested dm me we can exchange photos and chat more about I'm really serious about finding love and really want to meet a guy who is looking for a genuine relationship right now, thank you🩷
submitted by EmotionalRecord0 to r4r [link] [comments]
2024.06.02 07:51 BlitheCynic Significance of Art History to [Character's] Story Line
So I just finally finished LF a few days ago (after rotting on the library waitlist for months!), and I was really pleasantly surprised by the way Tanaka was written. Now part of that is just that I'm a big sucker - as both a reader and a writer - for taking apart characters who are irredeemable bastards and seeing what makes them tick. I was really curious to see other fans' takes on her, and it looks like she was pretty polarizing as a POV characters - some of you guys, like me, really loved to hate her (and maybe even dip a tentative toe into feeling sorry for her), and some of you just plain hated her (and that's fine - some people prefer being able to like their POV characters. I'm not one of those people). However, I haven't seen anyone really say much about the significance of her interest in (love of, really) art and art history. So I wanna talk a little about that.
The takes I've seen have largely come down to either, "It didn't fit with her character and felt really random," which I'm about to disagree with HARD, or "It served as a device to show that there was more to her that meets the eye, and that she could have gone down a completely different path." This one, I agree with, but I also think there's a lot more to it.
(1) So let's talk about why art history specifically. Why not something else seemingly 180 degrees away from being a Marine, like gardening or culinary science? As an artist who takes myself unapologetically seriously, I have had a lot of conversations with an artist friend of mine lately about the intimacy of art. Art is both an expression of individuality and a vehicle of profound, often terrifying, connection. The former is what Tanaka regards as the core of her being, while the latter is anathema to her. She is drawn to art precisely because it exists in a space of tension between her comfort zone and her deepest fears. It is the razor edge that she loves to walk.
I've said before that I think of art as a form of telepathy - you are trying to capture something inside your own mind and externalize it in a way that it is transmitted into the mind of another person. When Tanaka begins experiencing this very literally in a manner she can't control, it's her worst nightmare. But she loves art because it is a version of this that she can control. It's an outlet for her to fulfill the fundamentally human need for connection when it's never been safe (both literally and psychologically) for her to do so through any other means. She learned that as a child when she sought a hug and got a slap in the face instead.
A number of the art pieces she contemplates are emotionally intense. The Third Miko in particularly is memorable because it is a heavy piece, full of vulnerability and grief and dread. These are the kinds of pieces that not only did the artist have to rip themselves open and pour their soul into in order to produce, but the audience is required to do the same to some extent in order to fully experience them. Turning soul-crushing sadness into usable rage isn't alchemy - it's more like a refinement process; it takes a lot of energy, and there is a lot of waste runoff that still has to go somewhere. For Tanaka, that's where it goes. That's the safe place to put it. Inside of someone else's pain, where no one will ever know it's yours.
(2) The other thing I wanted to talk about hinges on a "blink and you miss it" detail that, for me at least, completely reframed the whole picture regarding the "two roads diverged" aspect of Tanaka's life, and that's the casually dropped revelation that she never actually had a choice in the first place. The way this was written, I'm absolutely certain it was a very deliberate choice by JSAC to undermine the assumptions we as readers had been previously led to make.
The "two roads" framing comes up explicitly three times in the book. The first time is in Chapter 24: "Tanaka hadn’t thought about that painting in decades, or about what a very different life she would have lived if she’d made a few different decisions at the start." The next mention is in Chapter 31, when Dr. Ahmadi is reviewing Tanaka's file. She says, "You refused an advanced scholarship in order to enlist." Both of these references frame it very explicitly as a choice. But then, a few pages later, it's revealed that it actually wasn't: "If Aunt Akari had let her study art history instead of enlisting in active service, where would she be right now? And who would be tracking down the high consul? What else—how many thousands of other things—would be different?" (emphasis mine).
This detail and the way it was just slipped in there actually made me feel terribly sad for her because it reveals that this was, in fact, never where she wanted to be at all. This is more a matter of interpretation, but my takeaway was that the whole thing about her preferring a repressive society might be less the truth and more of a narrative she tells herself because she has spent her entire life deprived of any kind of real agency. It's true that someone who has never experienced life outside a pressure cooker environment might rapidly decompress like a blobfish upon being removed from it (I'm reminded of the memoir The Girl With Seven Names, where the author's mother and brother can't adapt to life outside of North Korea and want to go back), but that's less about being naturally well-suited to it and more about being deeply and maybe irreversibly maladapted.
When Tanaka tells herself she loves life under the boot because it gives her something to push back against, she's making the best of a bad situation by pretending her lack of agency is actually just a really sophisticated form of agency. It's because the only love she has ever known is the threat of consequences (the alternative being complete apathy). It's the same mentality that makes abuse victims blame themselves - because, in some ways, the version of events where you were totally helpless and at the mercy of others is more distressing than the version where you brought it upon yourself through your own choices and actions. Wanting (and presumably asking her aunt's permission) to study art history, only to be forced to enlist in the marines instead is just another variation of her reaching for a hug and getting a slap. But if someone cares enough to slap you in the face, at least that means they care, right? "Laconia would put two in the back of my head because they care about what I think and do" is still a nicer story than "Laconia would put two in the back of my head because I'm completely disposable." It also made me wonder what was meant earlier by "if she’d made a few different decisions at the start." What does she tell herself she could have done differently to change a fate that was never in her hands to begin with?
TL;DR Tanaka loves art because it's the only way she can safely experience human connection, and it's implied she actually would have chosen to study art history if her aunt hadn't forced her to enlist.
submitted by BlitheCynic to TheExpanse [link] [comments]
The takes I've seen have largely come down to either, "It didn't fit with her character and felt really random," which I'm about to disagree with HARD, or "It served as a device to show that there was more to her that meets the eye, and that she could have gone down a completely different path." This one, I agree with, but I also think there's a lot more to it.
(1) So let's talk about why art history specifically. Why not something else seemingly 180 degrees away from being a Marine, like gardening or culinary science? As an artist who takes myself unapologetically seriously, I have had a lot of conversations with an artist friend of mine lately about the intimacy of art. Art is both an expression of individuality and a vehicle of profound, often terrifying, connection. The former is what Tanaka regards as the core of her being, while the latter is anathema to her. She is drawn to art precisely because it exists in a space of tension between her comfort zone and her deepest fears. It is the razor edge that she loves to walk.
I've said before that I think of art as a form of telepathy - you are trying to capture something inside your own mind and externalize it in a way that it is transmitted into the mind of another person. When Tanaka begins experiencing this very literally in a manner she can't control, it's her worst nightmare. But she loves art because it is a version of this that she can control. It's an outlet for her to fulfill the fundamentally human need for connection when it's never been safe (both literally and psychologically) for her to do so through any other means. She learned that as a child when she sought a hug and got a slap in the face instead.
A number of the art pieces she contemplates are emotionally intense. The Third Miko in particularly is memorable because it is a heavy piece, full of vulnerability and grief and dread. These are the kinds of pieces that not only did the artist have to rip themselves open and pour their soul into in order to produce, but the audience is required to do the same to some extent in order to fully experience them. Turning soul-crushing sadness into usable rage isn't alchemy - it's more like a refinement process; it takes a lot of energy, and there is a lot of waste runoff that still has to go somewhere. For Tanaka, that's where it goes. That's the safe place to put it. Inside of someone else's pain, where no one will ever know it's yours.
(2) The other thing I wanted to talk about hinges on a "blink and you miss it" detail that, for me at least, completely reframed the whole picture regarding the "two roads diverged" aspect of Tanaka's life, and that's the casually dropped revelation that she never actually had a choice in the first place. The way this was written, I'm absolutely certain it was a very deliberate choice by JSAC to undermine the assumptions we as readers had been previously led to make.
The "two roads" framing comes up explicitly three times in the book. The first time is in Chapter 24: "Tanaka hadn’t thought about that painting in decades, or about what a very different life she would have lived if she’d made a few different decisions at the start." The next mention is in Chapter 31, when Dr. Ahmadi is reviewing Tanaka's file. She says, "You refused an advanced scholarship in order to enlist." Both of these references frame it very explicitly as a choice. But then, a few pages later, it's revealed that it actually wasn't: "If Aunt Akari had let her study art history instead of enlisting in active service, where would she be right now? And who would be tracking down the high consul? What else—how many thousands of other things—would be different?" (emphasis mine).
This detail and the way it was just slipped in there actually made me feel terribly sad for her because it reveals that this was, in fact, never where she wanted to be at all. This is more a matter of interpretation, but my takeaway was that the whole thing about her preferring a repressive society might be less the truth and more of a narrative she tells herself because she has spent her entire life deprived of any kind of real agency. It's true that someone who has never experienced life outside a pressure cooker environment might rapidly decompress like a blobfish upon being removed from it (I'm reminded of the memoir The Girl With Seven Names, where the author's mother and brother can't adapt to life outside of North Korea and want to go back), but that's less about being naturally well-suited to it and more about being deeply and maybe irreversibly maladapted.
When Tanaka tells herself she loves life under the boot because it gives her something to push back against, she's making the best of a bad situation by pretending her lack of agency is actually just a really sophisticated form of agency. It's because the only love she has ever known is the threat of consequences (the alternative being complete apathy). It's the same mentality that makes abuse victims blame themselves - because, in some ways, the version of events where you were totally helpless and at the mercy of others is more distressing than the version where you brought it upon yourself through your own choices and actions. Wanting (and presumably asking her aunt's permission) to study art history, only to be forced to enlist in the marines instead is just another variation of her reaching for a hug and getting a slap. But if someone cares enough to slap you in the face, at least that means they care, right? "Laconia would put two in the back of my head because they care about what I think and do" is still a nicer story than "Laconia would put two in the back of my head because I'm completely disposable." It also made me wonder what was meant earlier by "if she’d made a few different decisions at the start." What does she tell herself she could have done differently to change a fate that was never in her hands to begin with?
TL;DR Tanaka loves art because it's the only way she can safely experience human connection, and it's implied she actually would have chosen to study art history if her aunt hadn't forced her to enlist.
2024.06.02 07:48 mansplanar Top 10 Tinder Tips: How to get more matches
Keep the bio short and simple. You’ll draw a bigger crowd. If you only have one good photo of yourself, only post one photo. No need to show the bad ones.
Photos of you smiling and looking straight at the camera. No fish photos, no hunting photos, no bathroom photos. Yes photos with dogs and (maybe) cats.
Be genuine about yourself and what you're looking for. Be funny and positive! (Just like you wouldn't swipe right on someone who just made a list of things they hate - don't be that person)
When you make a match and go on a date, LISTEN to them. Ask genuine questions - don't just talk about yourself.
Don't be discouraged. The online dating things can suck, especially when everyone is being mercenary. Folks are still feeling vulnerable after a global catastrophic event, and putting yourself out there is hard.
Some good tips here but i don't fully agree on the bio part. It's not an absolute in ny opinion. Of you don't really have a type you want to attract or just want to be with a 'normal' girl than most certainly go ahead and keep it short and sweet! If you want to be with a certain type of women than cater your bio to that. My bio is very long but it ensures i get matched mostly with girls who match my type. It takes much longer but it's more fulfilling imo.
With over 10 million daily active users, Tinder is one of the most popular and successful dating apps. It’s all about first impressions because people have no choice but to judge you by your photos and the limited information you provide on your bio. Undeniably, Tinder is driven by appearances - as superficial, it may sound.
It is worth noting that Tinder is different for men and women. An interesting Tinder experiment conducted by the Youtube channel ‘whatever’ clearly illustrates this gender disparity. They created two profiles using photos of attractive male and female models. Further, their information was identical regarding age, location and number of pictures. After 1,000 swipes, they discovered that a female profile matched 70% of the time, while a male profile only received 27% of matches. Additionally, the female profile received almost 400 messages in a short period while the male profile only received 28 messages in his inbox.
While the tinder game is different for men and women, the fundamentals of a good tinder profile are the same. Here they are:
submitted by mansplanar to MatchMeBro [link] [comments]
Photos of you smiling and looking straight at the camera. No fish photos, no hunting photos, no bathroom photos. Yes photos with dogs and (maybe) cats.
Be genuine about yourself and what you're looking for. Be funny and positive! (Just like you wouldn't swipe right on someone who just made a list of things they hate - don't be that person)
When you make a match and go on a date, LISTEN to them. Ask genuine questions - don't just talk about yourself.
Don't be discouraged. The online dating things can suck, especially when everyone is being mercenary. Folks are still feeling vulnerable after a global catastrophic event, and putting yourself out there is hard.
Some good tips here but i don't fully agree on the bio part. It's not an absolute in ny opinion. Of you don't really have a type you want to attract or just want to be with a 'normal' girl than most certainly go ahead and keep it short and sweet! If you want to be with a certain type of women than cater your bio to that. My bio is very long but it ensures i get matched mostly with girls who match my type. It takes much longer but it's more fulfilling imo.
With over 10 million daily active users, Tinder is one of the most popular and successful dating apps. It’s all about first impressions because people have no choice but to judge you by your photos and the limited information you provide on your bio. Undeniably, Tinder is driven by appearances - as superficial, it may sound.
It is worth noting that Tinder is different for men and women. An interesting Tinder experiment conducted by the Youtube channel ‘whatever’ clearly illustrates this gender disparity. They created two profiles using photos of attractive male and female models. Further, their information was identical regarding age, location and number of pictures. After 1,000 swipes, they discovered that a female profile matched 70% of the time, while a male profile only received 27% of matches. Additionally, the female profile received almost 400 messages in a short period while the male profile only received 28 messages in his inbox.
While the tinder game is different for men and women, the fundamentals of a good tinder profile are the same. Here they are:
- Use a simple bio
- Show your personality through pictures
- Have good-quality photos
- Avoid too many group photos
- Smile
- Highlight your best features
- Get Feedback
- Use a professional
2024.06.02 07:37 kingofstormandfire This the Top 6 singles of 1971 according to Billboard year-end list. Which one is your favourite?
Despite an impressive showing by Diana Ross, in the end, Simon & Garfunkel won the 1970 is a very decisive victory.
***
BTW, for singles that are credited are Double A-Sides, I’ve decided to just put the most famous song of the pair on the poll.
***
1) “Joy to the World” (Three Dog Night) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVcpKjXYa5c
This is the 2nd of 3 chart-toppers for American rock band Three Dog Night. It was written by Hoyt Axton. The song is a mix of rock and pop with a playful, feel-good vibe. Hoyt Axton wrote the song, originally intended as a part of a children's television program. The song's whimsical and nonsensical lyrics reflect this origin. "Joy to the World" is a cheerful and upbeat song that celebrates happiness and unity. The lyrics are light-hearted and fun, with the famous opening line, "Jeremiah was a bullfrog," setting a playful tone. The song features a lively arrangement with prominent electric guitar, keyboards, and brass. The production is energetic, capturing the band's dynamic performance. Chuck Negron, one of the band's three lead vocalists, sings the lead vocals on this track, delivering a spirited and enthusiastic performance.
Very enjoyable song. I like Three Dog Night quite a bit. A fun band, though basically a covers band.
2) “Maggie May” (Rod Stewart) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KlFPDi1B-jM
The first of three solo chart-toppers for Sir Rod Stewart, it was written by Stewart and Martin Quittenton. The song blends elements of folk rock and blues rock. The lyrics of "Maggie May" are semi-autobiographical, recounting a young man's relationship with an older woman. Stewart has said the song is based on his own experience of losing his virginity at a jazz festival. The song features a distinctive acoustic guitar riff, played by Martin Quittenton, along with mandolin played by Ray Jackson of Lindisfarne. The arrangement also includes electric guitar, bass, drums, and Stewart's raspy vocals. "Maggie May" is widely praised for its storytelling, Stewart's emotive vocal performance, and its memorable melody. “Maggie May” was credited as a double A-Side with “Reason to Believe”, both from the album Every Picture Tells a Story. The song has been included in numerous "best of" lists and is considered a classic rock staple.
A monster of a song. Just wow. One of my favourites from this era.
3) “It’s Too Late” (Carole King) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VkKxmnrRVHo
This is the sole chart-topper by singer-songwriter Carole King, but as a songwriter, King had written/co-written many Top 10 hits prior to this including several No. 1s. It was billed as a double A-side alongside “I Feel the Earth Move”. Both songs came from her second album Tapestry, which would go on to become one of the best-selling albums of the 1970s, and has been certified Diamond in the US. The music of “It’s Too Late” was composed by Carole King, but the lyrics were written by Toni Stern. Reportedly, the song might be about James Taylor who had dated Stern, and who would score a No. 1 hit of his own covering King’s song "You've Got a Friend”. “It’s Too Late” is a blend of soft rock, pop, and jazz influences. The lyrics deal with the end of a romantic relationship, capturing the bittersweet emotions of accepting that a relationship is over.
Nice song. It’s not my favourite off Tapestry, but it’s a solid song.
4) “One Bad Apple” (The Osmonds) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-pUJAWzUk0
The sole-charter by American pop group The Osmonds, a group of brothers who were teen idols in the early 1970s (particularly younger brother Donny Osmond). It was written by George Jackson and is a blend of pop and R&B, with a sound reminiscent of Motown and especially The Jackson 5. In fact, this was to be recorded by The Jackson 5, but The Jackson 5 themselves weren’t impressed and so it wasn’t released. The Osmonds recorded "One Bad Apple" in 1970, with Merrill Osmond providing the lead vocals while Donny Osmond sings part of the main hook. The song is about romantic reassurance. The lyrics tell a story of a boy trying to convince a girl that although she has been hurt by a past relationship ("one bad apple"), she should not let that experience ruin her faith in love. The song features a lively arrangement with upbeat rhythms, harmonised vocals, and an energetic pop sound. The production includes prominent use of strings and brass, adding to its vibrant feel.
People hate this song, and I get it. It's such a Jackson 5 rip off, but I love it. So catchy. I like the Osmonds.
5) “How Can You Mend a Broken Heart” (The Bee Gees) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dzhmwJI8Bps
The first of nine US chart-toppers by The Bee Gees, this song was written by Barry Gibb and Robin Gibb. The song is a blend of soft rock and pop, with soulful influences. The song was written during a period when the Gibb brothers were reconciling after a brief breakup of the Bee Gees. The lyrics reflect themes of heartache and longing for resolution.
I dunno, I like The Bees Gees a lot, but I find this song painfully boring and unmemorable. They had another song from around this time called "Lonely Days" which went #2 Hot 100 and #1 Cash Box that I think is much much better.
6) "Indian Reservation (The Lament of the Cherokee Reservation Indian)" (Raiders) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVxYL2sI1oM
The sole chart-topper by the rock group the Raiders, formerly known as Paul Revere and the Raiders. As Paul Revere and the Raiders, the group had enjoyed multiple Top 40 hits during the mid-to-late-60s, including several Top 10 hits. The song was written by John D. Loudermilk. The song was originally recorded by Marvin Rainwater in 1959 under the title "The Pale Faced Indian," but it did not achieve significant success. The Raiders version however was a No. 1 single. The song's lyrics recount the forced relocation of Native Americans, particularly focusing on the Cherokee's removal from their ancestral lands in the south-eastern United States, which is often referred to as the "Trail of Tears." It serves as a lament for the suffering and loss experienced by the Cherokee people.
I actually really like this song, but I have a feeling most people in this sub won’t.
***
Rounding out the Top 10 is “Go Away Little Girl” (Donny Osmond) (No. 7), “Take Me Home, Country Roads” (John Denver) (No. 8), "Just My Imagination (Running Away with Me)" (The Temptations) (No. 9) and “Knock Three Times” (Tony Orlando & Dawn) (No. 10).
An interesting and eclectic Top 10. Not the best (and not indicative of the behemoth that is 1971 in terms of music quality), but certainly not the worst of the 70s.
View Poll
submitted by kingofstormandfire to ToddintheShadow [link] [comments]
***
BTW, for singles that are credited are Double A-Sides, I’ve decided to just put the most famous song of the pair on the poll.
***
1) “Joy to the World” (Three Dog Night) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVcpKjXYa5c
This is the 2nd of 3 chart-toppers for American rock band Three Dog Night. It was written by Hoyt Axton. The song is a mix of rock and pop with a playful, feel-good vibe. Hoyt Axton wrote the song, originally intended as a part of a children's television program. The song's whimsical and nonsensical lyrics reflect this origin. "Joy to the World" is a cheerful and upbeat song that celebrates happiness and unity. The lyrics are light-hearted and fun, with the famous opening line, "Jeremiah was a bullfrog," setting a playful tone. The song features a lively arrangement with prominent electric guitar, keyboards, and brass. The production is energetic, capturing the band's dynamic performance. Chuck Negron, one of the band's three lead vocalists, sings the lead vocals on this track, delivering a spirited and enthusiastic performance.
Very enjoyable song. I like Three Dog Night quite a bit. A fun band, though basically a covers band.
2) “Maggie May” (Rod Stewart) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KlFPDi1B-jM
The first of three solo chart-toppers for Sir Rod Stewart, it was written by Stewart and Martin Quittenton. The song blends elements of folk rock and blues rock. The lyrics of "Maggie May" are semi-autobiographical, recounting a young man's relationship with an older woman. Stewart has said the song is based on his own experience of losing his virginity at a jazz festival. The song features a distinctive acoustic guitar riff, played by Martin Quittenton, along with mandolin played by Ray Jackson of Lindisfarne. The arrangement also includes electric guitar, bass, drums, and Stewart's raspy vocals. "Maggie May" is widely praised for its storytelling, Stewart's emotive vocal performance, and its memorable melody. “Maggie May” was credited as a double A-Side with “Reason to Believe”, both from the album Every Picture Tells a Story. The song has been included in numerous "best of" lists and is considered a classic rock staple.
A monster of a song. Just wow. One of my favourites from this era.
3) “It’s Too Late” (Carole King) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VkKxmnrRVHo
This is the sole chart-topper by singer-songwriter Carole King, but as a songwriter, King had written/co-written many Top 10 hits prior to this including several No. 1s. It was billed as a double A-side alongside “I Feel the Earth Move”. Both songs came from her second album Tapestry, which would go on to become one of the best-selling albums of the 1970s, and has been certified Diamond in the US. The music of “It’s Too Late” was composed by Carole King, but the lyrics were written by Toni Stern. Reportedly, the song might be about James Taylor who had dated Stern, and who would score a No. 1 hit of his own covering King’s song "You've Got a Friend”. “It’s Too Late” is a blend of soft rock, pop, and jazz influences. The lyrics deal with the end of a romantic relationship, capturing the bittersweet emotions of accepting that a relationship is over.
Nice song. It’s not my favourite off Tapestry, but it’s a solid song.
4) “One Bad Apple” (The Osmonds) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-pUJAWzUk0
The sole-charter by American pop group The Osmonds, a group of brothers who were teen idols in the early 1970s (particularly younger brother Donny Osmond). It was written by George Jackson and is a blend of pop and R&B, with a sound reminiscent of Motown and especially The Jackson 5. In fact, this was to be recorded by The Jackson 5, but The Jackson 5 themselves weren’t impressed and so it wasn’t released. The Osmonds recorded "One Bad Apple" in 1970, with Merrill Osmond providing the lead vocals while Donny Osmond sings part of the main hook. The song is about romantic reassurance. The lyrics tell a story of a boy trying to convince a girl that although she has been hurt by a past relationship ("one bad apple"), she should not let that experience ruin her faith in love. The song features a lively arrangement with upbeat rhythms, harmonised vocals, and an energetic pop sound. The production includes prominent use of strings and brass, adding to its vibrant feel.
People hate this song, and I get it. It's such a Jackson 5 rip off, but I love it. So catchy. I like the Osmonds.
5) “How Can You Mend a Broken Heart” (The Bee Gees) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dzhmwJI8Bps
The first of nine US chart-toppers by The Bee Gees, this song was written by Barry Gibb and Robin Gibb. The song is a blend of soft rock and pop, with soulful influences. The song was written during a period when the Gibb brothers were reconciling after a brief breakup of the Bee Gees. The lyrics reflect themes of heartache and longing for resolution.
I dunno, I like The Bees Gees a lot, but I find this song painfully boring and unmemorable. They had another song from around this time called "Lonely Days" which went #2 Hot 100 and #1 Cash Box that I think is much much better.
6) "Indian Reservation (The Lament of the Cherokee Reservation Indian)" (Raiders) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVxYL2sI1oM
The sole chart-topper by the rock group the Raiders, formerly known as Paul Revere and the Raiders. As Paul Revere and the Raiders, the group had enjoyed multiple Top 40 hits during the mid-to-late-60s, including several Top 10 hits. The song was written by John D. Loudermilk. The song was originally recorded by Marvin Rainwater in 1959 under the title "The Pale Faced Indian," but it did not achieve significant success. The Raiders version however was a No. 1 single. The song's lyrics recount the forced relocation of Native Americans, particularly focusing on the Cherokee's removal from their ancestral lands in the south-eastern United States, which is often referred to as the "Trail of Tears." It serves as a lament for the suffering and loss experienced by the Cherokee people.
I actually really like this song, but I have a feeling most people in this sub won’t.
***
Rounding out the Top 10 is “Go Away Little Girl” (Donny Osmond) (No. 7), “Take Me Home, Country Roads” (John Denver) (No. 8), "Just My Imagination (Running Away with Me)" (The Temptations) (No. 9) and “Knock Three Times” (Tony Orlando & Dawn) (No. 10).
An interesting and eclectic Top 10. Not the best (and not indicative of the behemoth that is 1971 in terms of music quality), but certainly not the worst of the 70s.
View Poll
2024.06.02 07:31 casual_casual_1 Dexies make me talkative
Hi guys, I’ve recently been diagnosed with level 2 ASD and combined type ADHD and have been put on dexamphetamine 5mg. I take 2 when I wake up and one or 2 throughout the day depending on how I’m feeling. I don’t always take them in fact sometimes I take a few weeks at a time of not taking them until I have uni assignments I really need to do etc.
But whenever I take my adhd meds (2x5mg) I sometimes get really talkative for a while until I find something (like study or cleaning) to focus on until they wear off. And like I’ll stop fidgeting as much but still talk more often. Is this normal? Starting to feel like maybe they were wrong about me being ADHD because dexies make me talk about anything I’m interested in or whatever’s on my mind before I get in the zone of something. 😭😭
submitted by casual_casual_1 to ADHD [link] [comments]
But whenever I take my adhd meds (2x5mg) I sometimes get really talkative for a while until I find something (like study or cleaning) to focus on until they wear off. And like I’ll stop fidgeting as much but still talk more often. Is this normal? Starting to feel like maybe they were wrong about me being ADHD because dexies make me talk about anything I’m interested in or whatever’s on my mind before I get in the zone of something. 😭😭
2024.06.02 07:27 RaindropsOnKittenz 38M - In 2015, at the age of 29, I watched A Nightmare on Elm Street in its entirety ALL BY MYSELF
Why hello! Brief, silly, and attention grabbing title set to the side I'm a 38 year old man-person hailing from the United States. I enjoy both deep and shallow discussions, serious and silly topics, being a dork, interacting with other dorks, and a whole host of other things! If we click, that’s awesome! If we don’t, that’s ok too! :)
Some of my interests include, but are not limited to: impromptu and unsolicited philosophizing, friendly debate, martial arts, writing, being silly and sassy, books and the reading of them (as well as other things that can be read), video games, movies, tv shows and the watching of them (and other things that can be watched, like TED talks), the lovely outdoors, animals, psychology, and much more. I will tease you (in a playful and good-hearted manner, if you're comfortable with that) listen to your pains and joys, tell you that you’re wrong about something if you are in fact wrong about it (and am ok with being told that I am wrong something if I am in fact wrong about it) and am willing to discuss damn near anything. I’m also a college student working on a degree in psychology, so schoolwork or work-work commiseration can be found here.
Oh, and I’m really into the new Zelda game, Mario Kart, Starfield, and memes. Just to name a few of my current interests. I’ve also recently developed a fixation on LED light strips and LED lighting generally so if you want to talk about that I’m so down for it, too.
So, why not say hello if anything above interests you? :)
submitted by RaindropsOnKittenz to MakeNewFriendsHere [link] [comments]
Some of my interests include, but are not limited to: impromptu and unsolicited philosophizing, friendly debate, martial arts, writing, being silly and sassy, books and the reading of them (as well as other things that can be read), video games, movies, tv shows and the watching of them (and other things that can be watched, like TED talks), the lovely outdoors, animals, psychology, and much more. I will tease you (in a playful and good-hearted manner, if you're comfortable with that) listen to your pains and joys, tell you that you’re wrong about something if you are in fact wrong about it (and am ok with being told that I am wrong something if I am in fact wrong about it) and am willing to discuss damn near anything. I’m also a college student working on a degree in psychology, so schoolwork or work-work commiseration can be found here.
Oh, and I’m really into the new Zelda game, Mario Kart, Starfield, and memes. Just to name a few of my current interests. I’ve also recently developed a fixation on LED light strips and LED lighting generally so if you want to talk about that I’m so down for it, too.
So, why not say hello if anything above interests you? :)
2024.06.02 07:23 Femboy_Yugioh 26 [M4M] looking for the man of my dreams #USA #Texas
Well hi! Nice to meet you🤗. Names Kira. Here’s is some info about me . I know this post may not be everyone’s cup of tea however I think it’s important to let others know some great facts about me _^
Located:
Texas . Willing to move to another state or have my future partner live with me .
Appearance :
A thick black femboy who loves dressing up sometimes . Height : 5’3. Age: 26 Personality : I’m super ambivert . I love to go to anime cons, anime movies , TCG stores for tournaments , ect . I’m a super silly goofball who loves to make people smile .
💙My hobbies:
TALL (taller than my own height) , very communicative, masculine(mostly beards and body hair) gamers/anime nerds.
Someone who’s ready for a long term relationship Someone who may want to live together in the future
Someone who loves anime or video games especially OW2. *These are just preferences not a deal breaker. *
✅Ps: for compatibility reasons I’m a 100% bottom.
Do not ask me NSFW question it will be an immediate block
If you made it this far, please message me an introduction about yourself. This is extremely important as it tells me alot about you and for me to give you a well detailed response. Mostly a name to call you , hobbies, location (state wise) and what you’re looking for . You may send pics in the first message if you may like 😊
submitted by Femboy_Yugioh to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]
Located:
Texas . Willing to move to another state or have my future partner live with me .
Appearance :
A thick black femboy who loves dressing up sometimes . Height : 5’3. Age: 26 Personality : I’m super ambivert . I love to go to anime cons, anime movies , TCG stores for tournaments , ect . I’m a super silly goofball who loves to make people smile .
💙My hobbies:
- Anime : Some of my favorites animes are Tokyo ghoul , Sword Art Online , Yuri on ice , Future Diary, JJK, MHA, Yaoi(Love stage , Sasaki and Miyano)
- Manga : I’ve completed so many mangas from yaoi , Ouran high school host club , berserk , ect .
- Cosplay : I’ve done Pokémon & a Tokyo Ghoul cosplay before .
- Anime cons: I’ve been to at least 11 anime/Comic cons.
- Dueling (Yu-Gi-Oh!)
- Pokémon
- Yaoi
- Pc gaming
- Overwatch. I love this game have over 500 hrs .
- Marvel/DC
- Tv drama : The Vampire Diaries , Supernatural, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, The 100.
- Horror- big fan of tv shows , movies like AHS
- Consoles I have are : Ps5, Nintendo switch , psp, ps vita, Nintendo 3ds , wii, gameboy , ect .
- SO Much More *
- [ ] Monogamous
- [ ] Single
- [ ] Loyalty
- [ ] Communication (This is my #1, no “ lol” or “yeah”
- [ ] No kids
- [ ] Open-minded
- [ ] Common interest : Nerdy (Anime, Games, Star Wars or anything nerdy)
- [ ] Sure on what you want (basically just knowing you want a relationship)
- [ ] Mature (as in personality )
- [ ] 21+ in age (this is a strict one)
TALL (taller than my own height) , very communicative, masculine(mostly beards and body hair) gamers/anime nerds.
Someone who’s ready for a long term relationship Someone who may want to live together in the future
Someone who loves anime or video games especially OW2. *These are just preferences not a deal breaker. *
✅Ps: for compatibility reasons I’m a 100% bottom.
Do not ask me NSFW question it will be an immediate block
If you made it this far, please message me an introduction about yourself. This is extremely important as it tells me alot about you and for me to give you a well detailed response. Mostly a name to call you , hobbies, location (state wise) and what you’re looking for . You may send pics in the first message if you may like 😊
2024.06.02 07:12 ComplexPurple4473 I can’t tell if my bf (31M) actually likes me (32 F) or is just tolerating me.. and what to do about it?
I’m sorry this is so long. I’d love to hear what you think.
We’ve been together for 3 years. Moved in together after 7 months during the pandemic. I’m the first girlfriend he’s lived with.
Shift in behaviour — I find he has changed a lot since we’ve become more close but I’ve stayed consistent. When we first met, he was a lot more positive and interested in me. He rarely asks me questions now and challenges many things I say. He is a lot more negative and judgemental of both me, my family and people we encounter. I didn’t think it was a terrible thing, more that he’s gotten comfortable with me. But I do feel a shift has taken place in the past 2 years. And sometimes the lack of positivity toward me feels disrespectful too. Lots of immature jokes, scoffing at things I say, speaking down to me or in a passive aggressive or condescending tone about the smallest things or even about things that clearly matter to me but not to him.
Emotions difficult — He has been transparent that he “struggles with empathy” since the early days. I remember noting that as a red flag but I thought maybe he was being flippant. He was not. I have tried many times to bring up our lack of emotional depth and he’s rarely responded well. It usually turns quickly into a defensive debate. Lots of “I treat you great.” “Sorry you think I’m such a bad boyfriend” types of statements that then take us away from the point. I am left apologizing for bringing it up. We never check in emotionally. He cannot name his own emotions aside from good or bad. He does not ask questions about my emotions. I am a very emotive person. I cry and I feel really deep (sometimes painful) empathy. I find he just stares or watches me when I’m upset or crying. He never asks questions, he rarely knows how to comfort me. His best way to support is to tell me it will pass. Which is helpful but not to the extent I was hoping.
Trauma doesn’t exist — Lastly, I have dealt with stuff in life that I know has had an impact on me. I am trying to figure it out and unpack it through reading, online research, and therapy. He has told me that he doesn’t believe childhood or young adult difficult experiences should have that much of an effect on you. I have told him about the situations and he barely asked about them, he barely showed interest, he’s never checked in on them or acknowledged situations that would clearly be triggering since. In fact, he’s even made a joke here or there that has been in relation to them. He had a pretty unstable childhood with a lot of parental neglect so it’s hard for me to see aspects of his life that could be improved by addressing them. And it’s invalidating to see his eyes glaze over when I reference mine.
I’m no peach — I have my issues. Like I said, I’m a very emotional person. I also struggle with anxiety at times. I’m currently going through a very depressive episode and have even shared with him that I have felt suicidal lately. He hasn’t tried to talk about it with me at all. He hasn’t tried to help. He offers bandaid unhealthy solutions like watching TV or eating out. It feels like he thinks it’s not real and is an inconvenience.
About a year ago we were watching Jerry Macguire and there’s this scene where he tells the woman that he thinks he’s only with her because of how much he likes her son. I remember my partner turning to me and saying he felt the same way regarding me but he’s staying because of how much he loves my dog. Since then, he’s apologized for the joke but man.. he sure does give our dog a lot of tenderness, compassion, and attention.
submitted by ComplexPurple4473 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
We’ve been together for 3 years. Moved in together after 7 months during the pandemic. I’m the first girlfriend he’s lived with.
Shift in behaviour — I find he has changed a lot since we’ve become more close but I’ve stayed consistent. When we first met, he was a lot more positive and interested in me. He rarely asks me questions now and challenges many things I say. He is a lot more negative and judgemental of both me, my family and people we encounter. I didn’t think it was a terrible thing, more that he’s gotten comfortable with me. But I do feel a shift has taken place in the past 2 years. And sometimes the lack of positivity toward me feels disrespectful too. Lots of immature jokes, scoffing at things I say, speaking down to me or in a passive aggressive or condescending tone about the smallest things or even about things that clearly matter to me but not to him.
Emotions difficult — He has been transparent that he “struggles with empathy” since the early days. I remember noting that as a red flag but I thought maybe he was being flippant. He was not. I have tried many times to bring up our lack of emotional depth and he’s rarely responded well. It usually turns quickly into a defensive debate. Lots of “I treat you great.” “Sorry you think I’m such a bad boyfriend” types of statements that then take us away from the point. I am left apologizing for bringing it up. We never check in emotionally. He cannot name his own emotions aside from good or bad. He does not ask questions about my emotions. I am a very emotive person. I cry and I feel really deep (sometimes painful) empathy. I find he just stares or watches me when I’m upset or crying. He never asks questions, he rarely knows how to comfort me. His best way to support is to tell me it will pass. Which is helpful but not to the extent I was hoping.
Trauma doesn’t exist — Lastly, I have dealt with stuff in life that I know has had an impact on me. I am trying to figure it out and unpack it through reading, online research, and therapy. He has told me that he doesn’t believe childhood or young adult difficult experiences should have that much of an effect on you. I have told him about the situations and he barely asked about them, he barely showed interest, he’s never checked in on them or acknowledged situations that would clearly be triggering since. In fact, he’s even made a joke here or there that has been in relation to them. He had a pretty unstable childhood with a lot of parental neglect so it’s hard for me to see aspects of his life that could be improved by addressing them. And it’s invalidating to see his eyes glaze over when I reference mine.
I’m no peach — I have my issues. Like I said, I’m a very emotional person. I also struggle with anxiety at times. I’m currently going through a very depressive episode and have even shared with him that I have felt suicidal lately. He hasn’t tried to talk about it with me at all. He hasn’t tried to help. He offers bandaid unhealthy solutions like watching TV or eating out. It feels like he thinks it’s not real and is an inconvenience.
About a year ago we were watching Jerry Macguire and there’s this scene where he tells the woman that he thinks he’s only with her because of how much he likes her son. I remember my partner turning to me and saying he felt the same way regarding me but he’s staying because of how much he loves my dog. Since then, he’s apologized for the joke but man.. he sure does give our dog a lot of tenderness, compassion, and attention.
2024.06.02 07:11 apexjaggi A More Constructive Critique of the Drake Talisman Map Theory
TL;DR Don't be rude when theorizing or critiquing people's theories, paragraphs 5-8 have the meat of the stuff I want to say that I haven't seen posted elsewhere so just read those if the whole thing's too long.
I'm sure everyone is tired of reading these posts but this has been sort of gnawing at me all day so I thought I would get it out of my system. I personally find the theory that the dragon depicted in the haligdrake talisman is a map of what the Lands Between may have looked like in the past extremely unconvincing and I'm going to dedicate way too much text to explaining why (no pictures tho cuz i'm lazy).
Earlier today, there was a post that attempted to explain why the theory was unconvincing, but I think OP there didn't do a very good job of responding to people's points, and IMO was also very rude to everyone in the comments. I feel like this may have psychologically made people feel somewhat more prone to defend what I believe is an unconvincing theory, so I'm aiming to do a more thorough and also less obnoxious job of saying why I'm not convinced.
The previous poster stated that the haligdrake talisman could not be depicting a map because it's "just a dragon" and doesn't look anything like TLB. This fails to meaningfully refute the theory in any way because the viewpoint of this theory's supporters is not that the talisman isn't a dragon, but that it is a dragon and a map at once, and that the map is of a past depiction of TLB, a landmass we know has undergone drastic changes over time from mountains of different in-game evidence. Therefore, the theory is stating that one possible past version of the ever-changing lands-between looked like a dragon, and that the talisman is depicting this. If I'm doing a flawed job portraying the theory let me know because I'm trying my best not to strawman here. I want to have an actual good-faith discussion unlike some on this sub.
This is where my issues with the theory crop up. My first issue is that this theory is impossible to disprove. We know that TLB looked different in the past for a variety of reasons (meteorites, blackstone, farum azula, eternal city banishment, etc.) but since the game takes place at a specific point in time and we don't go back in time except to fight placidusax (which doesn't effect our in-game map), we have no examples of what TLB looked like in the past from a cartographic standpoint (except the map in the theory of course). Because the landmass has changed numerous times and we do not know what any of these times looked like, literally anything could be pointed to and called a former map of TLB if it looks even vaguely map-like. So yes, I am admitting that I cannot disprove that TLB could have looked like a dragon in the past because there are an infinite number of things it could have looked like. However, just because it's possible that the map looked like that is not itself evidence that it did. I think this is a perfectly acceptable headcanon, it's admittedly pretty cool, but it's not something that I think makes sense to claim as a fact.
This is where I would expect someone to say that the talisman being a map is the proof that it looked that way, and I think that's a fairly reasonable response. However, this is where my second issue appears, and it's that there is very little to suggest that these talismans represent a map at all other than vaguely looking like one. I can genuinely see why people say it's a map, since it does kind of look like one, and people have pointed out similarities that are interesting, but I don't find this to be compelling evidence. It is very easy to look at two things and find similarities if you are looking for them. Many things I've seen on this sub pointing out similarities completely ignore the stuff that doesn't match and try to account for it with the impossible to disprove statement of "it's in the past and TLB in the past could be anything". This is not really my main point against it being a map, however. My main point is that if the talisman were depicting a map, why does the item description not make any indication that that is the case? The item description for the haligdrake talisman is as follows:
"Talisman depicting a golden ancient dragon. Boosts holy damage negation. The ancient dragons, who ruled in the prehistoric era before the Erdtree, would protect their lord as a wall of living rock. And so it is that the shape of the dragon has become symbolic of all manner of protections."
A couple things to notice here are the complete lack of reference to maps of any kind, the fact that the dragon depiction is specifically symbolic of something other than a map, being protection (obviously something can symbolize more than one thing but I think it would warrant mentioning), and that the dragons protect their lord as "a wall of living rock."
A lot of the basis for the map theory comes from the talisman looking like it has coastlines, and that's understandable. However, in my mind a simpler explanation is that these supposed coastlines are actually depicting the stony, wall-like nature of the dragons that the talisman's description mentions. This would mean that the strangely flat map completely missing any kind of variance in elevation except coastlines is actually a just a stylized depiction of a dragon, meant to more clearly get across its stony nature while still being a different color than the dragons' typical stone-grey (since it's gotta get across the point that it negates holy damage). This applies to all the other elemental versions of the drake talismans as well.
As an aside, the ones besides the haligdrake talisman have elemental effects that pretty significantly obscure the supposed map that Miyazaki wants us to see, which to me seems strange because if it were actually a map you would think it would be clearly visible on all of the drake talismans and not just the one. Additionally, the pearldrake talisman has more smooth "coastlines" that don't make a ton of sense if all these talismans are supposed to be the same map AND if it's a map, why would someone in universe decide to put three of the same map on the +1 and +2 talismans, or even put a map on a talisman in the first place, instead of on paper where a map typically is (I'm sure there are maps on things other than papescreens irl, but it's not typical and i'm mostly spitballing for this part).
These are essentially the reasons why I don't think the drake talismans are depicting a map of TLB during the age of the ancient dragons, but I want to add one more quick thing. If I'm completely wrong (totally possible) and these actually are depicting a map, what does that add to the story? We already know TLB changes physically through the ages as tons of much less obscure evidence in the game tells us. The giant skeletons, the eternal cities, the blackstone civilization, the giant crater in the center of the map, and the apparent missing caelid/mountaintops land bridge already serve to give the player a sense of TLB's vast history and tumultuous state of physical being in a much more tangible and evocative way than a single talisman that vaguely looks like a map ever could. If the devs wanted to add another element to this they certainly could to further expand that feeling, but why do it in such an obscure way that there has to be so much argument about whether the evidence in question even exists in the first place? It is my opinion that any good theory for this game should be able to place itself in the context of one's reading of the game as a whole. If a theory doesn't add anything to the story, what's interesting about it in the first place? This is where I'm most looking for some opposing opinions though, since I genuinely haven't found anything where someone places this in the broader context of the story in a compelling way imo.
Hope I did a decent job of not being rude (sorry if I didn't, I dislike this theory quite a bit and am trying to be nice about it), and hopefully some decent discussion can come from this and not more flame-warring. A lot of arguments against this theory kind of amounted to "you're wrong because i said so" and i thought that was lame and wanted to try and make an argument against it in actual good faith instead of blind rage lol.
submitted by apexjaggi to EldenRingLoreTalk [link] [comments]
I'm sure everyone is tired of reading these posts but this has been sort of gnawing at me all day so I thought I would get it out of my system. I personally find the theory that the dragon depicted in the haligdrake talisman is a map of what the Lands Between may have looked like in the past extremely unconvincing and I'm going to dedicate way too much text to explaining why (no pictures tho cuz i'm lazy).
Earlier today, there was a post that attempted to explain why the theory was unconvincing, but I think OP there didn't do a very good job of responding to people's points, and IMO was also very rude to everyone in the comments. I feel like this may have psychologically made people feel somewhat more prone to defend what I believe is an unconvincing theory, so I'm aiming to do a more thorough and also less obnoxious job of saying why I'm not convinced.
The previous poster stated that the haligdrake talisman could not be depicting a map because it's "just a dragon" and doesn't look anything like TLB. This fails to meaningfully refute the theory in any way because the viewpoint of this theory's supporters is not that the talisman isn't a dragon, but that it is a dragon and a map at once, and that the map is of a past depiction of TLB, a landmass we know has undergone drastic changes over time from mountains of different in-game evidence. Therefore, the theory is stating that one possible past version of the ever-changing lands-between looked like a dragon, and that the talisman is depicting this. If I'm doing a flawed job portraying the theory let me know because I'm trying my best not to strawman here. I want to have an actual good-faith discussion unlike some on this sub.
This is where my issues with the theory crop up. My first issue is that this theory is impossible to disprove. We know that TLB looked different in the past for a variety of reasons (meteorites, blackstone, farum azula, eternal city banishment, etc.) but since the game takes place at a specific point in time and we don't go back in time except to fight placidusax (which doesn't effect our in-game map), we have no examples of what TLB looked like in the past from a cartographic standpoint (except the map in the theory of course). Because the landmass has changed numerous times and we do not know what any of these times looked like, literally anything could be pointed to and called a former map of TLB if it looks even vaguely map-like. So yes, I am admitting that I cannot disprove that TLB could have looked like a dragon in the past because there are an infinite number of things it could have looked like. However, just because it's possible that the map looked like that is not itself evidence that it did. I think this is a perfectly acceptable headcanon, it's admittedly pretty cool, but it's not something that I think makes sense to claim as a fact.
This is where I would expect someone to say that the talisman being a map is the proof that it looked that way, and I think that's a fairly reasonable response. However, this is where my second issue appears, and it's that there is very little to suggest that these talismans represent a map at all other than vaguely looking like one. I can genuinely see why people say it's a map, since it does kind of look like one, and people have pointed out similarities that are interesting, but I don't find this to be compelling evidence. It is very easy to look at two things and find similarities if you are looking for them. Many things I've seen on this sub pointing out similarities completely ignore the stuff that doesn't match and try to account for it with the impossible to disprove statement of "it's in the past and TLB in the past could be anything". This is not really my main point against it being a map, however. My main point is that if the talisman were depicting a map, why does the item description not make any indication that that is the case? The item description for the haligdrake talisman is as follows:
"Talisman depicting a golden ancient dragon. Boosts holy damage negation. The ancient dragons, who ruled in the prehistoric era before the Erdtree, would protect their lord as a wall of living rock. And so it is that the shape of the dragon has become symbolic of all manner of protections."
A couple things to notice here are the complete lack of reference to maps of any kind, the fact that the dragon depiction is specifically symbolic of something other than a map, being protection (obviously something can symbolize more than one thing but I think it would warrant mentioning), and that the dragons protect their lord as "a wall of living rock."
A lot of the basis for the map theory comes from the talisman looking like it has coastlines, and that's understandable. However, in my mind a simpler explanation is that these supposed coastlines are actually depicting the stony, wall-like nature of the dragons that the talisman's description mentions. This would mean that the strangely flat map completely missing any kind of variance in elevation except coastlines is actually a just a stylized depiction of a dragon, meant to more clearly get across its stony nature while still being a different color than the dragons' typical stone-grey (since it's gotta get across the point that it negates holy damage). This applies to all the other elemental versions of the drake talismans as well.
As an aside, the ones besides the haligdrake talisman have elemental effects that pretty significantly obscure the supposed map that Miyazaki wants us to see, which to me seems strange because if it were actually a map you would think it would be clearly visible on all of the drake talismans and not just the one. Additionally, the pearldrake talisman has more smooth "coastlines" that don't make a ton of sense if all these talismans are supposed to be the same map AND if it's a map, why would someone in universe decide to put three of the same map on the +1 and +2 talismans, or even put a map on a talisman in the first place, instead of on paper where a map typically is (I'm sure there are maps on things other than papescreens irl, but it's not typical and i'm mostly spitballing for this part).
These are essentially the reasons why I don't think the drake talismans are depicting a map of TLB during the age of the ancient dragons, but I want to add one more quick thing. If I'm completely wrong (totally possible) and these actually are depicting a map, what does that add to the story? We already know TLB changes physically through the ages as tons of much less obscure evidence in the game tells us. The giant skeletons, the eternal cities, the blackstone civilization, the giant crater in the center of the map, and the apparent missing caelid/mountaintops land bridge already serve to give the player a sense of TLB's vast history and tumultuous state of physical being in a much more tangible and evocative way than a single talisman that vaguely looks like a map ever could. If the devs wanted to add another element to this they certainly could to further expand that feeling, but why do it in such an obscure way that there has to be so much argument about whether the evidence in question even exists in the first place? It is my opinion that any good theory for this game should be able to place itself in the context of one's reading of the game as a whole. If a theory doesn't add anything to the story, what's interesting about it in the first place? This is where I'm most looking for some opposing opinions though, since I genuinely haven't found anything where someone places this in the broader context of the story in a compelling way imo.
Hope I did a decent job of not being rude (sorry if I didn't, I dislike this theory quite a bit and am trying to be nice about it), and hopefully some decent discussion can come from this and not more flame-warring. A lot of arguments against this theory kind of amounted to "you're wrong because i said so" and i thought that was lame and wanted to try and make an argument against it in actual good faith instead of blind rage lol.
2024.06.02 07:10 Ok_Serve_8791 [21/F] Looking for conversations and new friends.Older people from 35-50+
Ages 35-50 I'm looking to make some new friends. I'm up for short, fun chats about anything! Whether it's your favorite book, latest TV show, or random facts, I'm all ears. Drop a message if you're interested!
submitted by Ok_Serve_8791 to MakeNewFriendsHere [link] [comments]
2024.06.02 07:09 Small_Factor587 I feel lost.
This is an anonymous account because my ex uses Reddit and knows my main account.
We broke up nearly a month ago. We were together for nearly a year, and just a few days from now is what would have been our anniversary. We were interested in each other for a bit over a year though.
She called me and told me she wanted to break up. I didn’t know how this could possibly happen… I thought I was doing everything as good as I possibly could. We talked to each other all the time about how much we meant to each other. She told me she loves me, and I loved her more than anything. I know it sounds hyperbolic, but these last nearly 12 months made me happier than I had ever been in my entire life. We talked all the time about what we wanted to do once we were both done with college, where we wanted to live together, if we were going to get married one day, what pets we wanted together, and the life we wanted for each other. I wanted that life more than anything. Everything she did was perfect to me. And even though I struggled to find the right words to tell her, I always tried to make her feel loved. I never drank or used any drug. I was always understanding and nice. If she asked for anything, I’d always do what I could to do anything she asked. I did the best I could without any expectation of anything in return, and I was truly content and happy. I wanted to marry this girl, I wanted to spend my life with her, and I really thought she felt the same…
She broke up with me over a phone call. I begged and pleaded and wondered why she would do this. She said it’s just something she needs to do. We talk over the phone, I’m bawling harder than I’ve ever cried to my memory. She’s crying too. She and I agree to stay friends, and that we’d both support each other.
The next day passes. I feel powerless and I’m still hurt and confused. She texts me, and she says she’s feeling the worst pain she’s ever felt. She can’t eat or sleep, and all she wants is to be with me, but she knows she can’t. She explains that she feels like her stresses have built up and she feels like they’re impacting her feelings in the relationship. I understand, this past year has been very hard on her. She says she’s ok with being friends, but more than anything she wants to be in a relationship again one day with me, and that she loves me still. It puts my heart at ease. We’re still there for each other, but does she understand or try to think about how I must feel? I’m heartbroken and in more pain than I thought I’d ever feel. The next days pass and she’s talking about getting to go to the movies and hang out with friends and stuff, and while I’m happy, I’m hurt because I don’t have many friends right now and I don’t have a whole group of people to hang out with often. She seems happier though, which makes me glad.
A few days pass and I ask how she’s doing. She says she’s fine, completely fine in fact. I tell her I still don’t know how to feel. I tell her I’m happy we can still talk but I’m afraid of not getting the chance to be with her again. She says it may never happen. Stupidly, I ask if she still cares for me like she did. She says no. I’m crushed. She says she still cares about me but she’s no longer in love with me at all. I brought up how she said she loved me, and I questioned how she could change her mind after only a few days. She says she doesn’t know, and that this happens all the time on her relationships. She’s fully in love, and then she just… stops feeling. I felt horrible, and I confronted her about it. She then yelled at me, talking still about her problems sleeping, before threatening to block me and saying that me acting like she was my everything was “souring” what we had. But… she was my everything. What she said broke me. I told her I needed a week to myself and she said she respects that. During my week away, she apologized. It was a good apology at least. After the week, I came back and told her I’m feeling better, and it seems like she’s doing a lot better too. I lied to her. I got better at masking the pain, but I still feel it all day. I can’t get over it…. She sees us as friends and messages me and sends pictures of her outfits. I want to tell her the truth. I want to tell her she’s the most gorgeous and beautiful girl I’ve ever known. I want her to know that I still love her more than anything, even if she doesn’t love me back. And it may be selfish, but I just want to know everything is going to be okay. I want her to tell me that. I want the girl I love, who loved me, to come back. But I just can’t tell her.
Maybe we’ll be together again. Maybe we won’t. Hopefully I’ll heal. Until then, I don’t feel like I’m alive right now. I just feel like I’m existing and passing the days with no meaning. I can’t stand the feeling of being so in love with someone who I know doesn’t care about me or love me anymore. I just want to be loved again
submitted by Small_Factor587 to BreakUps [link] [comments]
We broke up nearly a month ago. We were together for nearly a year, and just a few days from now is what would have been our anniversary. We were interested in each other for a bit over a year though.
She called me and told me she wanted to break up. I didn’t know how this could possibly happen… I thought I was doing everything as good as I possibly could. We talked to each other all the time about how much we meant to each other. She told me she loves me, and I loved her more than anything. I know it sounds hyperbolic, but these last nearly 12 months made me happier than I had ever been in my entire life. We talked all the time about what we wanted to do once we were both done with college, where we wanted to live together, if we were going to get married one day, what pets we wanted together, and the life we wanted for each other. I wanted that life more than anything. Everything she did was perfect to me. And even though I struggled to find the right words to tell her, I always tried to make her feel loved. I never drank or used any drug. I was always understanding and nice. If she asked for anything, I’d always do what I could to do anything she asked. I did the best I could without any expectation of anything in return, and I was truly content and happy. I wanted to marry this girl, I wanted to spend my life with her, and I really thought she felt the same…
She broke up with me over a phone call. I begged and pleaded and wondered why she would do this. She said it’s just something she needs to do. We talk over the phone, I’m bawling harder than I’ve ever cried to my memory. She’s crying too. She and I agree to stay friends, and that we’d both support each other.
The next day passes. I feel powerless and I’m still hurt and confused. She texts me, and she says she’s feeling the worst pain she’s ever felt. She can’t eat or sleep, and all she wants is to be with me, but she knows she can’t. She explains that she feels like her stresses have built up and she feels like they’re impacting her feelings in the relationship. I understand, this past year has been very hard on her. She says she’s ok with being friends, but more than anything she wants to be in a relationship again one day with me, and that she loves me still. It puts my heart at ease. We’re still there for each other, but does she understand or try to think about how I must feel? I’m heartbroken and in more pain than I thought I’d ever feel. The next days pass and she’s talking about getting to go to the movies and hang out with friends and stuff, and while I’m happy, I’m hurt because I don’t have many friends right now and I don’t have a whole group of people to hang out with often. She seems happier though, which makes me glad.
A few days pass and I ask how she’s doing. She says she’s fine, completely fine in fact. I tell her I still don’t know how to feel. I tell her I’m happy we can still talk but I’m afraid of not getting the chance to be with her again. She says it may never happen. Stupidly, I ask if she still cares for me like she did. She says no. I’m crushed. She says she still cares about me but she’s no longer in love with me at all. I brought up how she said she loved me, and I questioned how she could change her mind after only a few days. She says she doesn’t know, and that this happens all the time on her relationships. She’s fully in love, and then she just… stops feeling. I felt horrible, and I confronted her about it. She then yelled at me, talking still about her problems sleeping, before threatening to block me and saying that me acting like she was my everything was “souring” what we had. But… she was my everything. What she said broke me. I told her I needed a week to myself and she said she respects that. During my week away, she apologized. It was a good apology at least. After the week, I came back and told her I’m feeling better, and it seems like she’s doing a lot better too. I lied to her. I got better at masking the pain, but I still feel it all day. I can’t get over it…. She sees us as friends and messages me and sends pictures of her outfits. I want to tell her the truth. I want to tell her she’s the most gorgeous and beautiful girl I’ve ever known. I want her to know that I still love her more than anything, even if she doesn’t love me back. And it may be selfish, but I just want to know everything is going to be okay. I want her to tell me that. I want the girl I love, who loved me, to come back. But I just can’t tell her.
Maybe we’ll be together again. Maybe we won’t. Hopefully I’ll heal. Until then, I don’t feel like I’m alive right now. I just feel like I’m existing and passing the days with no meaning. I can’t stand the feeling of being so in love with someone who I know doesn’t care about me or love me anymore. I just want to be loved again
2024.06.02 07:07 danzlove I'm splitting so hard now, and i know i shouldn't
I am in this whatsapp group for some time now. There's a friend that started talking to me a lot, and i started to bond. I felt close to him because he came near my city and said he wanted to meet me next time he comes here.. And we spoke a lot about places he wanted to visit here.
So.. we haven't been speaking for like 2 weeks because I wasn't checking so much that group until 3 days ago.
And now I see he is answering most of another woman's messages ( I like her also, she is very funny). But.. like a few minutes ago, she said that there was a guy bothering her.. and said to my friend that he should take care of that situation.
I felt in my body.. the chemical changes of splitting and started to hate them. Are they having a "thing"? I felt betrayed instantly. And decided to post here.
Writing is really helping me to calm down.
I am trying to look at the facts. They both live in another country. I don't know them in person. I don't have a relationship with them besides sharing the same group of a common interest. I don't know what is happening between them.. and it really is not my business.
Why does bpd do this to us? Why is it that I don't want to read that group anymore. Aff it's painful to feel something that I know makes no sense.
Obs. Even though I am venting, I can read advices. ❤️
submitted by danzlove to BPD [link] [comments]
So.. we haven't been speaking for like 2 weeks because I wasn't checking so much that group until 3 days ago.
And now I see he is answering most of another woman's messages ( I like her also, she is very funny). But.. like a few minutes ago, she said that there was a guy bothering her.. and said to my friend that he should take care of that situation.
I felt in my body.. the chemical changes of splitting and started to hate them. Are they having a "thing"? I felt betrayed instantly. And decided to post here.
Writing is really helping me to calm down.
I am trying to look at the facts. They both live in another country. I don't know them in person. I don't have a relationship with them besides sharing the same group of a common interest. I don't know what is happening between them.. and it really is not my business.
Why does bpd do this to us? Why is it that I don't want to read that group anymore. Aff it's painful to feel something that I know makes no sense.
Obs. Even though I am venting, I can read advices. ❤️
2024.06.02 07:06 Fukkaroo The combo's that don't work.
**Cancer & Libra.**Libra wants a mental rapport, to hear about your day and know how you feel in the sense of you vs the world then to balance themselves with you, there is a nice back and forth of conversation. Cancer, though it really depends onthe chart, intuits feelings, Cancer find it very hard to relate to Libra due to the fact they just see the person as a fixed see/saw forever tilting to two sides or finding balance.
Cancer finds Libra's sense of fairness cutting to deeper feelings at times.
Just as well, Cancer does not possess the ability to keep Libra healthy and balanced in terms of self, not because Cancer is stupid sign, it's one of the most intelligent, it's just the expression is felt rather than thought. Cancer's often need to process things then talk, whilst the Libra will see that as hiding something, not knowing what is wrong, is it me?
Over time Libra becomes progressively hot headed behind closed doors, lazy and ineffective only seeking to balance themselves. And friendly and more aware of what is going on outside of the relationship.
Cancer is overly defensive, will plan to gain small things from revenge and use things against Libra to make them feel outcasted. Libras will make them feel hugely insecure because they keep wanting to go out on their own as Cancer cannot reconcile their feelings.
Leo & Taurus / Scorpio placements (Depends on the rest of the chart)
Taurus Earth squares to Leo can be rather dampening to Leo's Fire and Leo's Fire only becomes more self interested over time to Taurus placements, usually Taurus will blow up first especially if it is the Mars placement and will end it and never go back. This is very different for Venus and Moon in Taurus, these can hold on too long. Scorpio may be the more dragged ouit emotional one depending on placement, again Mars in this sign will put in all energy until they cannot and drop it to never return.
Moon in Scorpio and Venus here are extremely obsessive and will fail to truly move on emotionally.
Leo will admire the strength however from both of these signs that the person had to speak up about the issue, just wish it was more regal and warm like themselves rather than abrupt.
Scorpio and Aries.
Whilst they may share the same Mars significator, they are very different.
Aries wants to win, an Aries who knows themselves knows that they have only got one shot at things, if they win, they win, rematching won't happen, Aries has that singularity that can be puished hard instantly and outwards.
Scorpio on the other hand will be like ok, I see you, I will have a go.
Scorpio does not have that first edge and may lose, the longer the fight goes, or a rematch happens, Scorpio will likely win due to superior long term tactical ability and the fact Aries just burns out when going on too long. Same can be said of Scorpio's sister sign Taurus and the Saturn ruled one Capricorn.
Aries may feel smothered by that feeling of being dominated in the long term, and Scorpio will be annoyed by the lack of brains Aries has, but Aries relies heavily on intuition, Scorpio relies on deep diving and figuring things out.
If ever there was a fight, this one would be over quickly, Aries don't care once Aries moves on.
Scorpio won't be able to reconcile any emotional energies and will likely move on quicker as they get no attention.
Aquarius & Cancer.
Aquarius.. feelings.. WTF? Not in the present, future oriented, stoic yet friendly and quirky.
We already know how Cancer behaves, let's not repeat this one, same for Scorpio and Pisces, Aquarius you are likely to find some positive pairings with Sagittarius.
submitted by Fukkaroo to astrologymemes [link] [comments]
Cancer finds Libra's sense of fairness cutting to deeper feelings at times.
Just as well, Cancer does not possess the ability to keep Libra healthy and balanced in terms of self, not because Cancer is stupid sign, it's one of the most intelligent, it's just the expression is felt rather than thought. Cancer's often need to process things then talk, whilst the Libra will see that as hiding something, not knowing what is wrong, is it me?
Over time Libra becomes progressively hot headed behind closed doors, lazy and ineffective only seeking to balance themselves. And friendly and more aware of what is going on outside of the relationship.
Cancer is overly defensive, will plan to gain small things from revenge and use things against Libra to make them feel outcasted. Libras will make them feel hugely insecure because they keep wanting to go out on their own as Cancer cannot reconcile their feelings.
Leo & Taurus / Scorpio placements (Depends on the rest of the chart)
Taurus Earth squares to Leo can be rather dampening to Leo's Fire and Leo's Fire only becomes more self interested over time to Taurus placements, usually Taurus will blow up first especially if it is the Mars placement and will end it and never go back. This is very different for Venus and Moon in Taurus, these can hold on too long. Scorpio may be the more dragged ouit emotional one depending on placement, again Mars in this sign will put in all energy until they cannot and drop it to never return.
Moon in Scorpio and Venus here are extremely obsessive and will fail to truly move on emotionally.
Leo will admire the strength however from both of these signs that the person had to speak up about the issue, just wish it was more regal and warm like themselves rather than abrupt.
Scorpio and Aries.
Whilst they may share the same Mars significator, they are very different.
Aries wants to win, an Aries who knows themselves knows that they have only got one shot at things, if they win, they win, rematching won't happen, Aries has that singularity that can be puished hard instantly and outwards.
Scorpio on the other hand will be like ok, I see you, I will have a go.
Scorpio does not have that first edge and may lose, the longer the fight goes, or a rematch happens, Scorpio will likely win due to superior long term tactical ability and the fact Aries just burns out when going on too long. Same can be said of Scorpio's sister sign Taurus and the Saturn ruled one Capricorn.
Aries may feel smothered by that feeling of being dominated in the long term, and Scorpio will be annoyed by the lack of brains Aries has, but Aries relies heavily on intuition, Scorpio relies on deep diving and figuring things out.
If ever there was a fight, this one would be over quickly, Aries don't care once Aries moves on.
Scorpio won't be able to reconcile any emotional energies and will likely move on quicker as they get no attention.
Aquarius & Cancer.
Aquarius.. feelings.. WTF? Not in the present, future oriented, stoic yet friendly and quirky.
We already know how Cancer behaves, let's not repeat this one, same for Scorpio and Pisces, Aquarius you are likely to find some positive pairings with Sagittarius.
2024.06.02 06:57 Forsaken-Rain-88 Kusanagi-no-tsurugi & Tokyo Blade
Now that we are only about a month away from the second season of Oshi No Ko, I thought it'd be interesting to go back and dive into some of the history surrounding Kusanagi-no-Tsurugi - a sacred sword in Shinto religion.
What prompted me to initially write this was:
Kana: In Tokyo Blade, she plays a character named, Tsurugi.
(And)
The next chapter's date: A Shinto festival is held every year on June 5th marking the beginning of summer. The Atsuta shrine is where the Kusanagi-no-Tsurugi sword is housed. The Atsuta Festival (or Shobu festival) marks the beginning of summer & many dedicated performances are done for Shinto gods & goddesses.
Note: This is not a theory. I've just always been interested in the sword since we started talking about Shintoism and never had an excuse to talk about it until now 🤗
https://preview.redd.it/9i34d2n3234d1.png?width=289&format=png&auto=webp&s=6a93de63664c89b2ed4271402067e31693780a96
Facts:
"Established around 1,900 years ago, Atsuta Jingu is the second most revered Shinto shrine in Japan, following the Ise Grand Shrine in nearby Mie Prefecture.
The shrine enshrines the goddess of the sun, Amaterasu, along with one of the three imperial treasures: the sacred sword Kusanagi-no-tsurugi."
Kusanagi-no-tsurugi means “Grass-Cutting Sword,” but it once meant “Heavenly Sword of Gathering Clouds”.
It is an item that shows one's legitimacy to rule which is kind of similar to the premise of Tokyo Blade when Taiki's character obtains Tsuragi as an ally and then declares he'll become a king after he's recognized as the strongest Oath Blade user.
https://preview.redd.it/udclkn6t134d1.png?width=927&format=png&auto=webp&s=5180b5f8c0dbd8a5eef12ed43e44e4ec4e1d7e9d
Shinto
The Kusanagi-no-tsurugi sword was found by the god Susanoo after he was banished from heaven. He slayed an eight-headed serpent that had eaten one family's seven daughters and then received the last daughter's, Kushinada-hime's, hand in marriage. In the fourth tail of the serpent, Susanoo found the sword and gave it to his sister, Ameratsu, to reconcile with her.
It is one of the three sacred treasures alongside a mirror and a curved jewel or bead.
Yata no Kagami: The Mirror, reflects wisdom, honesty, and truth.
Yasakani no Magatama: The jewel represents grace and kindness.
Overall, the Kusanagi-no-tsurugi sword represents valor.
End Note: I wouldn't be surprised if there's already a post on this out there, but It was nice to do a fun write up instead of theorizing for a change. Let me know if you have any thoughts on the sword, the upcoming arc, season 2, or the Atsuta festival. ✌️
submitted by Forsaken-Rain-88 to OshiNoKoTheories [link] [comments]
What prompted me to initially write this was:
Kana: In Tokyo Blade, she plays a character named, Tsurugi.
(And)
The next chapter's date: A Shinto festival is held every year on June 5th marking the beginning of summer. The Atsuta shrine is where the Kusanagi-no-Tsurugi sword is housed. The Atsuta Festival (or Shobu festival) marks the beginning of summer & many dedicated performances are done for Shinto gods & goddesses.
Note: This is not a theory. I've just always been interested in the sword since we started talking about Shintoism and never had an excuse to talk about it until now 🤗
https://preview.redd.it/9i34d2n3234d1.png?width=289&format=png&auto=webp&s=6a93de63664c89b2ed4271402067e31693780a96
Facts:
"Established around 1,900 years ago, Atsuta Jingu is the second most revered Shinto shrine in Japan, following the Ise Grand Shrine in nearby Mie Prefecture.
The shrine enshrines the goddess of the sun, Amaterasu, along with one of the three imperial treasures: the sacred sword Kusanagi-no-tsurugi."
Kusanagi-no-tsurugi means “Grass-Cutting Sword,” but it once meant “Heavenly Sword of Gathering Clouds”.
It is an item that shows one's legitimacy to rule which is kind of similar to the premise of Tokyo Blade when Taiki's character obtains Tsuragi as an ally and then declares he'll become a king after he's recognized as the strongest Oath Blade user.
https://preview.redd.it/udclkn6t134d1.png?width=927&format=png&auto=webp&s=5180b5f8c0dbd8a5eef12ed43e44e4ec4e1d7e9d
Shinto
The Kusanagi-no-tsurugi sword was found by the god Susanoo after he was banished from heaven. He slayed an eight-headed serpent that had eaten one family's seven daughters and then received the last daughter's, Kushinada-hime's, hand in marriage. In the fourth tail of the serpent, Susanoo found the sword and gave it to his sister, Ameratsu, to reconcile with her.
It is one of the three sacred treasures alongside a mirror and a curved jewel or bead.
Yata no Kagami: The Mirror, reflects wisdom, honesty, and truth.
Yasakani no Magatama: The jewel represents grace and kindness.
Overall, the Kusanagi-no-tsurugi sword represents valor.
End Note: I wouldn't be surprised if there's already a post on this out there, but It was nice to do a fun write up instead of theorizing for a change. Let me know if you have any thoughts on the sword, the upcoming arc, season 2, or the Atsuta festival. ✌️
2024.06.02 06:51 chocolatecauldrons Part II: The Anthology - An Analysis of Each Track
Thank you guys for all your nice comments on my previous post! Here's my followup post walking through the anthology - I apologize for the delay, but I wanted to sit with this half of the album a bit longer. This analysis will be slightly different: first I’ll go through themes present throughout the anthology, and then walk through each song individually, since it’s not as consecutive of a story as the first album. As with my first analysis, I tend to also stay away from literal details as proof that a song is about a certain subject or muse – to me, it’s easier to understand the album when you think first about what the song’s overarching meaning is, rather than getting caught up in literal details (and I think Taylor often throws these in as red herrings). Moreover, it’s important to note that it’s likely that the literal detail she’s thrown in is one that only she and the muse will understand (i.e. her referencing a lilac skirt in imgonnagetyouback is unlikely to be one we’ve ever seen her wearing in public, so it’s useless to paternity test based on that detail!).
Firstly, the word anthology means a collection of assorted literary works. As a result, I think there are more themes scattered through this album, and it’s meant to be a little harder to parse than the first one. I think this album is what TTPD would have been before it crystallized into a tighter theme – similar to the 3 AM tracks for Midnights, the majority of which were written prior to the standard edition’s tracks.
There are a few themes throughout this album. From a romantic context, to me, this album is primarily about Joe. I’ll walk through why I believe that, but this album feels less muddled to me in terms of its muses, and I think that is in part due to the fact that her self-described mania from the standard edition is not a theme on the anthology. This work also covers her own relationship to celebrity and fame, and how that affects her romantic relationships and her personal life in general. And finally, I think the final theme throughout this collection is the idea of childhood, of formative experiences, and how our author goes about processing events that happen to her.
The Black Dog
What happens when you intimately know someone, when you share every aspect of your life with someone, and then it's over? Six weeks after their breakup, she’s barely holding it together (“I move through the world with the heartbroken”). She even tried to rebound her pain away (“I took the miracle move on drug, the effects were temporary”), and wasn’t able to succeed. Meanwhile, she sees him go to a bar, and she has the sudden realization that he may be able to do what she failed to do – he might be able to move on, with someone new. Reckoning with that realization is horrifying. If he is able to pull it off, what does that mean about the love they shared? When he had told her for years that he was who he was for her, and her alone?
You said I needed a bravе man
Then proceeded to play him
Until I believed it too
And it kills me
How could they go from being so intimate that they shower together, that she’s aware of his every move, to being so distant from each other that she wonders if making her fall in love with him was a hazing? And the cruelest part of it is – she doesn’t want either one of them to be able to move on, and give validity to the fact that they weren’t right for each other, even though she knows they have to. Moreover, she’s already *tried* to move on at this point, and failed – she tried to manufacture a counterfeit version of their intimacy, but what if he’s able to perfectly replicate it? And to really drive in the knife, what if it’s with someone younger than her?
And you jump up, but she's too young to know this song
That was intertwined in the magic fabric of our dreaming
Given that a theme throughout the first album was her feeling like she’d given him so much of her youth, so much of her childbearing years, with nothing to show for it, what does it feel like to know that he can essentially reset time, by being with a younger woman, but she’ll never be able to get that time back?
imgonnagetyouback
We know that her and Joe took a break or two while they were together (see: Hits Different, The Great War, in addition to PR articles). To me, this song is about when you do take that break from your partner, and you’re trying to make a point to them that they’re not going to find anyone better than you (I can tell when somebody still wants me, come clean) – the two of you are too intimately intertwined to find a suitable replacement. You know what to wear, what to say, what to do to bring them back to you:
I, I hear thе whispers in your eyes
I'll make you wanna think twice
You'll find that you were never not mine
This song also has a lot of similarities to So Long, London, which is why I attribute it to Joe. To me, it provides a deeper story to some of the lines she touches on in So Long, London:
I didn't opt in to be your odd man out
I founded the club she's heard great things about
And to some of the lines in Hits Different:
I washed my hands of us at the club
You made a mess of me
I pictured you with other girls in love
Then threw up on the street
//
Bet I could still melt your world
Argumentative, antithetical dream girl
imgonnagetyouback is a story of one-upmanship – of trying to out-jealous your partner, of proving to them that nobody knows them better than you do. And maybe this time when they’re both playing this game, it works:
Push the reset button, we're becomin' something new
Say you got somebody, I'll say I got someone too
Even if it's handcuffed, I'm leavin' here with you
//
We broke all the pieces, but still wanna play the game (Oh)
Told my friends I hate you, but I love you just the same
Pick your poison, babe, I'm poison either way
The spacing to me is a deliberate red herring (the 1975 very famously made a song called fallingforyou), and a way to illustrate that the subject of the song wants space from her – but she’s not going to give it to him. This is another theme that calls back to Joe – in So Long, London, she describes him as constantly pulling away (Pulled him in tighter each time he was driftin' away). Matty didn’t pull away – he was all in for two weeks, until he chose to ghost her, and leave abruptly. There was no slow death, no push and pull to her relationship with Matty – it was a meteoric rise and fall.
The Albatross
This song feels like a sister song to “peace” – she describes what it’s like to love her. It’s a little more twisted, however, as she describes her love for her partner as both a danger, and a rescue from the danger she’s imposing on him by being involved with him:
Wise men once said
"Wild winds are death to the candle"
A rose by any other name is a scandal
Cautions issued, he stood
Shooting the messengers
They tried to warn him about her
She’s described herself as wind and liquor in her relationship with Joe previously, in Mastermind:
I'm the wind in our free-flowing sails
And the liquor in our cocktails
She has empathy for the narrator, but disdain for herself. There’s also acceptance though: she knows that she tried to prevent it, and tried to warn him about the danger she posed. In the end though, he chose this life with her, and he chose the danger – there’s only so much she can protect him from.
The devil that you know
Looks now more like an angel
I'm the life you chose
And all this terrible danger
Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus
This song feels like another sister song to The Black Dog – how does she cope with the idea that her long-time partner might move on? How does she cope with the fact that if she chooses to leave, she also chooses the future in which they both move on? A future in which they don’t know each other? It also touches on her wondering if she should move on with Matty, and how feasible it would be to know someone else instead of her partner:
If you want to tear my world apart
Just say you've always wondered
This song, more than anything else, illustrates that moving on with Matty was nothing but a way to move past Joe – what she really wants, more than anything, is a response greater than indifference from Joe:
As the decade would play us for fools
And you saw my bones out with somebody new
Who seemed like he would've bullied you in school
And you just watched it happen
There’s also the realization that Joe may never love who she is now – who she was at the beginning of their relationship will always be who he prefers:
If you want to break my cold, cold heart
Just say, 'I loved you the way that you were'
She’s trying desperately to find some way to make up for the fact that she had to leave Joe, that there was nothing she could do to stay – she tried changing everything about herself, but still, the need to leave him eventually caught up with her:
I changed into goddesses, villains and fools
Changed plans and lovers and outfits and rules
All to outrun my desertion of you
And you just watched it
And she wonders whether despite his indifference, and the distance between them, she should still stay:
Could it be enough to just float in your orbit
Can we watch our phantoms like watching wild horses
Cooler in theory but not if you force it
To be, it just didn't happen
But now, they are merely ghosts of who they once were – it’s not possible to force the relationship anymore.
How Did It End?
When a long-term relationship ends, you can point to the factors that led to its demise: a difference of opinions on money, on marriage, on children, and so forth. It is easy to determine the “what” and the “why” of an ending. But what is harder to diagnose is how you both became the versions of yourselves that weren’t on the same page, that were unable to discuss these topics, that couldn’t move past these dilemmas. That is much, much harder to pinpoint, and this is the question Taylor asks in this song. She knows what killed them:
We hereby conduct this post-mortem
He was a hot house flower to my outdoorsman
//
We were blind to unforeseen circumstances
We learn the right steps to different dances (ohh)
And fell victim to interlopers' glances
Lost the game of chance, what are the chances?
But what she still doesn't know is how it happened – how did it end? She also finds the empathy from the media and from the public to be false and selfish – they only want to know what happened to feverishly spread the news like wildfire.
Come one, come all
It's happenin' again
The empathetic hunger descends
We'll tell no one
Except all of our friends
We must know
How did it end?
//
Soon they'll go home to their husbands
Smug 'cause they know they can trust him
Then feverishly calling their cousins (ohh)
//
Say it once again with feeling
What the feeding frenzy wants more than anything is gossip, and they don’t care that she is utterly lost – lost as to why this happened, and lost physically and mentally:
Guess who we ran into at the shops?
Walking in circles like she was lost
How does she give an answer to quell the empathetic hunger, when she herself doesn’t understand exactly how it happened?
So High School
In an album that touches so much on feeling like she’s running out of time to have the future that she wants, and running out of youth to give the various men who come into her life, it is interesting and heartwarming that the song about Travis on the anthology is one that describes being with him as regaining her youth:
The brink of a wrinkle in time
Bittersweet sixteen suddenly
Moreover, another detail to note in this song is the difference in how she describes alcohol and drugs – in nearly every other song on TTPD, alcohol is a vice she uses in her moments of despair, and drugs are what her previous partners turn to in their moments of strife (she also describes the influence of drugs on her partners as something she detests – “sinking in stoned oblivion” and “you needed me but you needed drugs more”). With Travis, she’s not imbibing in any substances – instead, his thoughts and jokes are enough for her:
I'll drink what you think, and I'm high
From smoking your jokes all damn night
Travis is giving her back her youth, making sober promises, and the impression that we get is that they’re building this dreamlike reality together – it’s wholesome, all-American, and high-school-inspired, yet still grounded in something tangible, unlike the promise of fate and destiny, which powered her relationship with Joe and her entanglement with Matty.
I Hate It Here
More than anything, I think this song illustrates how Taylor sometimes uses escapism and maladaptive daydreaming to ignore the reality of the situation she’s dealing with. She recognizes that it’s not possible to stay where she is, locked inside this prison of stagnation and boredom:
If comfort is a construct
I don't believe in good luck
Now that I know what's what
She recognizes that this isn’t what she used to be, and that she never intended to choose this life of secrecy, perhaps alluding to all those years she spent “locked inside her house”:
You see I was a debutante in another life but
Now I seem to be scared to go outside
She describes herself as finding hope in the places her mind creates (seemingly alluding to her creation of characters and places for folklore and evermore):
I hate it here so I will go to
secret gardens in my mind
People need a key to get to
The only one is mine
I read about it in a book when I was a precocious child
And her escapism into her past, and imaginings of what could have been:
I hate it here so I will go to
Lunar valleys in my mind
When they found a better planet
Only the gentle survived
I dreamed about it in the dark
The night I felt like I might die
All throughout the song, there’s recognition that she doesn’t want to be here – she doesn’t want to feel as if the only place she can be free is in these imaginary worlds she creates. But there’s also concession – is she perhaps only destined for an eternal consolation prize? For loneliness? For imagined romanticism? For the fantasy of how she imagined her life and her love to be?
I'm lonely but I'm good
I'm bitter but I swear I'm fine
I'll save all my romanticism for my inner life and I'll get lost on
purpose
This place made me feel worthless
Lucid dreams like electricity, the current flies through me,
and in my fantasies I rise above it
And way up there, I actually love it
thanK you aIMee
This song, along with a few others in the latter half of the anthology, discusses the loss of innocence she felt in key moments of her life. This one quite obviously alludes to Kim Kardashian, and their infamous feud. I will make a separate post on this, but I think people describing this song as petty may not remember the depth of the hate aimed at Taylor in 2016. Kim and Kanye organized a revenge porn music video for Famous, and held a museum exhibit so that people could take pictures with the naked dolls. The night the snapchat videos were released, every Kardashian family member descended upon social media to gleefully celebrate the #TaylorSwiftIsOverParty. The amount of hate Taylor got was so unprecedented that Instagram actually built their comment filtration system because of this incident. It really was that bad.
And every baby step Taylor took (for example, even just posting that she had a good 2017 was met with immediate media backlash) was quite literally mocked across the internet. People thought the reputation era was cringey, that she was over, and that she deserved everyone’s ire because she was “proven” to be a liar. She describes this in the song:
Each time that Aimee stomped across my grave
And then she wrote headlines in the local paper
Laughing at each baby step I'd take
And it was always the same searing pain
But the whole time, despite the pain and blood, she was dreaming of the day that she would heal, and dreaming of the day that she would climb her way back to to the mountaintop:
And our town, it looks so small from way up here
//
So I pushed each boulder up that hill
Your words were still just ringing in my head, ringing in my head
What still irks her though, is that this bully who created this entire hate train and organized her downfall will pretend as if it never happened – she will undoubtedly reframe things to make our subject seem overdramatic, petty, and unable to move past the incidents of years ago. Taylor, however, has always been clear about one thing: sometimes, no amount of time can heal you from something that deeply traumatized you.
I Look in People’s Windows
This song to me feels like a sister song to The Black Dog, but a few months after the official end of a relationship. A sub theme that runs through Taylor’s songs about the Joe breakup is the loss of being understood – when you are no longer with a long-term partner, how do you cope with the fact that you move the world knowing everything about this person, but at the same time, not knowing them anymore? Would you peek into their windows just to get a glimpse of what their life looks like now? As anyone who has gone through a breakup knows, the hardest part is often not being privy to the mundane details of that person’s world – their dinner parties, their wine, their friends, and so on.
I look in people's windows
Transfixed by rose golden glows
They have their friends over to drink nice wine
I look in people's windows
In case you're at their table
What if your eyes looked up and met mine
One more time
The Prophecy
The prophecy is devastating. More so than any other song Taylor has ever written, it is full of desperation and longing. All she asks for is to be known, to be understood – to not be perceived as an idea of a woman, or a starlet with no humanity:
Please
I've been on my knees
Change the prophecy
Don't want money
Just someone who wants my company
Let it once be me
Who do I have to speak to
About if they can redo
The prophecy?
It’s striking especially considering how much she laments that leaving Joe means she’s giving up being known – it’s also striking given the fact that in the epilogue poem, she states that neither Joe or Matty ever truly knew her:
He never even scratched the surface
of me.
None of them did.
What she desires beyond fame, beyond notoriety, beyond money, is to be loved and to be known. The song also alludes to her being in therapy, and to finding some sort of consolation that she will find someone to share her life with:
I'm so afraid I sealed my fate
No sign of soulmates
I'm just a paperweight
In shades of greige
Spending my last coin so someone will tell me
It'll be ok
Cassandra
This track is a sister song to thanK you aIMee, and continues exploring the theme of fraught public womanhood we see in Clara Bow and Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me. In this song, Taylor discusses how the validation of women is never publicized in the way that the crucifixion of them is:
When the first stone's thrown, there's screaming
In the streets, there's a raging riot
When it's "Burn the bitch, " they're shrieking
When the truth comes out, it's quiet
Moreover, when women speak up about an issue, they’re often viewed as overdramatic, and unserious. Cassandra, in Greek mythology, was cursed by Apollo to always predict the future accurately, but never be believed. We see this happen every day to women in politics, in the media, and in pop culture:
So, they killed Cassandra first 'cause she feared the worst
And tried to tell the town
So, they set my life in flames, I regret to say
Do you believe me now?
And for Taylor, it’s reminiscent of all the times she’s been the first to speak out about something in the industry – for example, against Scooter Braun and his well-established pattern of bullying, or of the exploitation of artists on streaming services – but never been supported broadly by her peers. They believe her later, but at that point, very few people give her the credit for speaking up in the first place. It’s reminiscent of the Kimye scandal. When the news broke originally, the hatred she received was widespread. But when she was acquitted by the long-form video that leaked, it didn’t receive anywhere near the level of coverage that the original scandal received.
Peter
Peter is another song that touches on both the male muses for this album, and in turn, on the promises various men have given her over her life (we’ll circle back to this in The Manuscript!). It also touches on the theme of waiting that’s seen throughout this album, especially on her songs about Joe – how much time is enough time to give?
Both Matty and Joe were 25 when they met her, and it’s abundantly clear that both men made promises to her: promises of marriage, of children, and of a future. But how long can she wait for these promises to be fulfilled? To Joe, she gives six years of her life and youth, and to Matty, she gives him a chance to prove that he was reformed from the time she knew him last: both men eventually fail. Neither man is ready to give up their childish whims, and she has no choice but to lose hope that either of them ever will.
And you said you'd come and get me but you were 25
And the shelf life of those fantasies has expired
Lost to the lost boys chapter of your life
Forgive me Peter, please know that I tried
To hold onto the days when you were mine
But the woman who sits by the window has turned out the light
Another thing to note is the interesting double meaning of the song title. To peter also means to diminish gradually – much like her faith in both men’s promises.
The Bolter
A lot of the songs Taylor has written about Joe in this album deal with the question of “when is the right time to leave?” When you know that things are stagnant, and you know that you’ve given everything you have to a relationship, you know that you have to leave – but it’s easy to convince yourself if you have a history of “leaving before you get left” that you should ride out this wave, and that this pain might just be temporary.
The Bolter, to me, reflects on Taylor’s history – it seems like she prided herself on being able to see the warning signs, and being able to get out in time.
She's been many places with
Men of many faces
First, they're off to the races
And she's laughing drawin' aces
But, none of it is changin'
That the chariot is waitin'
Hearts are hers for the breakin'
There's an escape in escaping
It’s relevant to TTPD, because likely, she saw not bolting as a sign of growth and maturity. You know that you’ve grown as a person when you don’t abandon ship at the first sign of trouble, but what if there are so many signs of trouble that the truly mature thing to do would be to leave?
Robin
Robin leads into this theme of childhood and innocence that we see further in The Manuscript. The track name is also the name of Aaron Dessner’s child. She ponders how beautiful and sweet it is that we work so hard to protect childhood naivete:
Strings tied to levers,
slowed down clocks tethered,
all this showmanship
To keep it, for you,
In sweetness
And there’s an element of wistfulness to it – don’t we sometimes wish that we could also be protected from the worst the world has to offer?
You have no room in your dreams for regrets
You have no idea
The time will arrive for the cruel and the mean
You'll learn to bounce back just like your trampoline
But now we'll curtail your curiosity
The Manuscript
This song is perhaps the most climactic song on the album. It covers her romantic history up until that point, and starts at the moment she feels everything went awry – and it predates Joe and Matty. Instead, it calls back to the first time she experienced a proper heartbreak, and the first time she lost her childlike innocence in the world – her relationship with Jake Gyllenhaal (a time she described as her transition from childhood to womanhood). She describes how they compared licenses, and how he told her that if they had sex, and it was as good as the conversation was, then they would get married, and have a family. He was the first man to make her these promises:
He said that if the sex was half as good as the conversation was
Soon they'd be pushin' strollers
But soon it was over
He tells her that it’s ok that they have an age gap, because she’s so advanced for her age:
She thought about how he said since she was so wise beyond her years
Everything had been above board
She wasn't sure
While dating him, she desperately wants to be older, and starts emulating his behavior:
In the age of him, she wished she was thirty
And made coffee every morning in a French press
And when it’s over, she regresses, and turns back into a child – unable to sleep alone without the comfort of her mother, and unable to eat anything substantial besides the sugary cereal of her youth:
Afterwards she only ate kids' cereal
And couldn't sleep unless it was in her mother's bed
She forces herself to date boys her own age, to not rely on the maturity of an older man to guide her through adulthood, but she can’t help but feel disappointed in their youth:
Then she dated boys who were her own age
With dart boards on the backs of their doors
Finally, as she creates the All Too Well short film, she recognizes the damage he did to her, and how the consequences of that affair have shaped her life since:
And the years passed
Like scenes of a show
The Professor said to write what you know
Lookin' backwards
Might be the only way to move forward
Then the actors
Were hitting their marks
And the slow dance
Was alight with the sparks
And the tears fell
In synchronicity with the score
And at last
She knew what the agony had been for
Everything calls back to this first man, and these original promises – everything she’s been chasing since is reminiscent of this first scar. And just like how releasing All Too Well transformed and healed her, she hopes that by releasing this additional manuscript into the world, it will heal her again. As she describes in the epilogue poem, she is entering all her thoughts, emotions, and pain into evidence – she now asks the audience to process it with her, and thus conclude this process of healing.
The only thing that's left is the manuscript
One last souvenir from my trip to your shores
Now and then I reread the manuscript
But the story isn't mine anymore
If you read all of this - thank you! I enjoyed writing it, and I'm excited to discuss with you all in the replies :)
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Firstly, the word anthology means a collection of assorted literary works. As a result, I think there are more themes scattered through this album, and it’s meant to be a little harder to parse than the first one. I think this album is what TTPD would have been before it crystallized into a tighter theme – similar to the 3 AM tracks for Midnights, the majority of which were written prior to the standard edition’s tracks.
There are a few themes throughout this album. From a romantic context, to me, this album is primarily about Joe. I’ll walk through why I believe that, but this album feels less muddled to me in terms of its muses, and I think that is in part due to the fact that her self-described mania from the standard edition is not a theme on the anthology. This work also covers her own relationship to celebrity and fame, and how that affects her romantic relationships and her personal life in general. And finally, I think the final theme throughout this collection is the idea of childhood, of formative experiences, and how our author goes about processing events that happen to her.
The Black Dog
What happens when you intimately know someone, when you share every aspect of your life with someone, and then it's over? Six weeks after their breakup, she’s barely holding it together (“I move through the world with the heartbroken”). She even tried to rebound her pain away (“I took the miracle move on drug, the effects were temporary”), and wasn’t able to succeed. Meanwhile, she sees him go to a bar, and she has the sudden realization that he may be able to do what she failed to do – he might be able to move on, with someone new. Reckoning with that realization is horrifying. If he is able to pull it off, what does that mean about the love they shared? When he had told her for years that he was who he was for her, and her alone?
You said I needed a bravе man
Then proceeded to play him
Until I believed it too
And it kills me
How could they go from being so intimate that they shower together, that she’s aware of his every move, to being so distant from each other that she wonders if making her fall in love with him was a hazing? And the cruelest part of it is – she doesn’t want either one of them to be able to move on, and give validity to the fact that they weren’t right for each other, even though she knows they have to. Moreover, she’s already *tried* to move on at this point, and failed – she tried to manufacture a counterfeit version of their intimacy, but what if he’s able to perfectly replicate it? And to really drive in the knife, what if it’s with someone younger than her?
And you jump up, but she's too young to know this song
That was intertwined in the magic fabric of our dreaming
Given that a theme throughout the first album was her feeling like she’d given him so much of her youth, so much of her childbearing years, with nothing to show for it, what does it feel like to know that he can essentially reset time, by being with a younger woman, but she’ll never be able to get that time back?
imgonnagetyouback
We know that her and Joe took a break or two while they were together (see: Hits Different, The Great War, in addition to PR articles). To me, this song is about when you do take that break from your partner, and you’re trying to make a point to them that they’re not going to find anyone better than you (I can tell when somebody still wants me, come clean) – the two of you are too intimately intertwined to find a suitable replacement. You know what to wear, what to say, what to do to bring them back to you:
I, I hear thе whispers in your eyes
I'll make you wanna think twice
You'll find that you were never not mine
This song also has a lot of similarities to So Long, London, which is why I attribute it to Joe. To me, it provides a deeper story to some of the lines she touches on in So Long, London:
I didn't opt in to be your odd man out
I founded the club she's heard great things about
And to some of the lines in Hits Different:
I washed my hands of us at the club
You made a mess of me
I pictured you with other girls in love
Then threw up on the street
//
Bet I could still melt your world
Argumentative, antithetical dream girl
imgonnagetyouback is a story of one-upmanship – of trying to out-jealous your partner, of proving to them that nobody knows them better than you do. And maybe this time when they’re both playing this game, it works:
Push the reset button, we're becomin' something new
Say you got somebody, I'll say I got someone too
Even if it's handcuffed, I'm leavin' here with you
//
We broke all the pieces, but still wanna play the game (Oh)
Told my friends I hate you, but I love you just the same
Pick your poison, babe, I'm poison either way
The spacing to me is a deliberate red herring (the 1975 very famously made a song called fallingforyou), and a way to illustrate that the subject of the song wants space from her – but she’s not going to give it to him. This is another theme that calls back to Joe – in So Long, London, she describes him as constantly pulling away (Pulled him in tighter each time he was driftin' away). Matty didn’t pull away – he was all in for two weeks, until he chose to ghost her, and leave abruptly. There was no slow death, no push and pull to her relationship with Matty – it was a meteoric rise and fall.
The Albatross
This song feels like a sister song to “peace” – she describes what it’s like to love her. It’s a little more twisted, however, as she describes her love for her partner as both a danger, and a rescue from the danger she’s imposing on him by being involved with him:
Wise men once said
"Wild winds are death to the candle"
A rose by any other name is a scandal
Cautions issued, he stood
Shooting the messengers
They tried to warn him about her
She’s described herself as wind and liquor in her relationship with Joe previously, in Mastermind:
I'm the wind in our free-flowing sails
And the liquor in our cocktails
She has empathy for the narrator, but disdain for herself. There’s also acceptance though: she knows that she tried to prevent it, and tried to warn him about the danger she posed. In the end though, he chose this life with her, and he chose the danger – there’s only so much she can protect him from.
The devil that you know
Looks now more like an angel
I'm the life you chose
And all this terrible danger
Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus
This song feels like another sister song to The Black Dog – how does she cope with the idea that her long-time partner might move on? How does she cope with the fact that if she chooses to leave, she also chooses the future in which they both move on? A future in which they don’t know each other? It also touches on her wondering if she should move on with Matty, and how feasible it would be to know someone else instead of her partner:
If you want to tear my world apart
Just say you've always wondered
This song, more than anything else, illustrates that moving on with Matty was nothing but a way to move past Joe – what she really wants, more than anything, is a response greater than indifference from Joe:
As the decade would play us for fools
And you saw my bones out with somebody new
Who seemed like he would've bullied you in school
And you just watched it happen
There’s also the realization that Joe may never love who she is now – who she was at the beginning of their relationship will always be who he prefers:
If you want to break my cold, cold heart
Just say, 'I loved you the way that you were'
She’s trying desperately to find some way to make up for the fact that she had to leave Joe, that there was nothing she could do to stay – she tried changing everything about herself, but still, the need to leave him eventually caught up with her:
I changed into goddesses, villains and fools
Changed plans and lovers and outfits and rules
All to outrun my desertion of you
And you just watched it
And she wonders whether despite his indifference, and the distance between them, she should still stay:
Could it be enough to just float in your orbit
Can we watch our phantoms like watching wild horses
Cooler in theory but not if you force it
To be, it just didn't happen
But now, they are merely ghosts of who they once were – it’s not possible to force the relationship anymore.
How Did It End?
When a long-term relationship ends, you can point to the factors that led to its demise: a difference of opinions on money, on marriage, on children, and so forth. It is easy to determine the “what” and the “why” of an ending. But what is harder to diagnose is how you both became the versions of yourselves that weren’t on the same page, that were unable to discuss these topics, that couldn’t move past these dilemmas. That is much, much harder to pinpoint, and this is the question Taylor asks in this song. She knows what killed them:
We hereby conduct this post-mortem
He was a hot house flower to my outdoorsman
//
We were blind to unforeseen circumstances
We learn the right steps to different dances (ohh)
And fell victim to interlopers' glances
Lost the game of chance, what are the chances?
But what she still doesn't know is how it happened – how did it end? She also finds the empathy from the media and from the public to be false and selfish – they only want to know what happened to feverishly spread the news like wildfire.
Come one, come all
It's happenin' again
The empathetic hunger descends
We'll tell no one
Except all of our friends
We must know
How did it end?
//
Soon they'll go home to their husbands
Smug 'cause they know they can trust him
Then feverishly calling their cousins (ohh)
//
Say it once again with feeling
What the feeding frenzy wants more than anything is gossip, and they don’t care that she is utterly lost – lost as to why this happened, and lost physically and mentally:
Guess who we ran into at the shops?
Walking in circles like she was lost
How does she give an answer to quell the empathetic hunger, when she herself doesn’t understand exactly how it happened?
So High School
In an album that touches so much on feeling like she’s running out of time to have the future that she wants, and running out of youth to give the various men who come into her life, it is interesting and heartwarming that the song about Travis on the anthology is one that describes being with him as regaining her youth:
The brink of a wrinkle in time
Bittersweet sixteen suddenly
Moreover, another detail to note in this song is the difference in how she describes alcohol and drugs – in nearly every other song on TTPD, alcohol is a vice she uses in her moments of despair, and drugs are what her previous partners turn to in their moments of strife (she also describes the influence of drugs on her partners as something she detests – “sinking in stoned oblivion” and “you needed me but you needed drugs more”). With Travis, she’s not imbibing in any substances – instead, his thoughts and jokes are enough for her:
I'll drink what you think, and I'm high
From smoking your jokes all damn night
Travis is giving her back her youth, making sober promises, and the impression that we get is that they’re building this dreamlike reality together – it’s wholesome, all-American, and high-school-inspired, yet still grounded in something tangible, unlike the promise of fate and destiny, which powered her relationship with Joe and her entanglement with Matty.
I Hate It Here
More than anything, I think this song illustrates how Taylor sometimes uses escapism and maladaptive daydreaming to ignore the reality of the situation she’s dealing with. She recognizes that it’s not possible to stay where she is, locked inside this prison of stagnation and boredom:
If comfort is a construct
I don't believe in good luck
Now that I know what's what
She recognizes that this isn’t what she used to be, and that she never intended to choose this life of secrecy, perhaps alluding to all those years she spent “locked inside her house”:
You see I was a debutante in another life but
Now I seem to be scared to go outside
She describes herself as finding hope in the places her mind creates (seemingly alluding to her creation of characters and places for folklore and evermore):
I hate it here so I will go to
secret gardens in my mind
People need a key to get to
The only one is mine
I read about it in a book when I was a precocious child
And her escapism into her past, and imaginings of what could have been:
I hate it here so I will go to
Lunar valleys in my mind
When they found a better planet
Only the gentle survived
I dreamed about it in the dark
The night I felt like I might die
All throughout the song, there’s recognition that she doesn’t want to be here – she doesn’t want to feel as if the only place she can be free is in these imaginary worlds she creates. But there’s also concession – is she perhaps only destined for an eternal consolation prize? For loneliness? For imagined romanticism? For the fantasy of how she imagined her life and her love to be?
I'm lonely but I'm good
I'm bitter but I swear I'm fine
I'll save all my romanticism for my inner life and I'll get lost on
purpose
This place made me feel worthless
Lucid dreams like electricity, the current flies through me,
and in my fantasies I rise above it
And way up there, I actually love it
thanK you aIMee
This song, along with a few others in the latter half of the anthology, discusses the loss of innocence she felt in key moments of her life. This one quite obviously alludes to Kim Kardashian, and their infamous feud. I will make a separate post on this, but I think people describing this song as petty may not remember the depth of the hate aimed at Taylor in 2016. Kim and Kanye organized a revenge porn music video for Famous, and held a museum exhibit so that people could take pictures with the naked dolls. The night the snapchat videos were released, every Kardashian family member descended upon social media to gleefully celebrate the #TaylorSwiftIsOverParty. The amount of hate Taylor got was so unprecedented that Instagram actually built their comment filtration system because of this incident. It really was that bad.
And every baby step Taylor took (for example, even just posting that she had a good 2017 was met with immediate media backlash) was quite literally mocked across the internet. People thought the reputation era was cringey, that she was over, and that she deserved everyone’s ire because she was “proven” to be a liar. She describes this in the song:
Each time that Aimee stomped across my grave
And then she wrote headlines in the local paper
Laughing at each baby step I'd take
And it was always the same searing pain
But the whole time, despite the pain and blood, she was dreaming of the day that she would heal, and dreaming of the day that she would climb her way back to to the mountaintop:
And our town, it looks so small from way up here
//
So I pushed each boulder up that hill
Your words were still just ringing in my head, ringing in my head
What still irks her though, is that this bully who created this entire hate train and organized her downfall will pretend as if it never happened – she will undoubtedly reframe things to make our subject seem overdramatic, petty, and unable to move past the incidents of years ago. Taylor, however, has always been clear about one thing: sometimes, no amount of time can heal you from something that deeply traumatized you.
I Look in People’s Windows
This song to me feels like a sister song to The Black Dog, but a few months after the official end of a relationship. A sub theme that runs through Taylor’s songs about the Joe breakup is the loss of being understood – when you are no longer with a long-term partner, how do you cope with the fact that you move the world knowing everything about this person, but at the same time, not knowing them anymore? Would you peek into their windows just to get a glimpse of what their life looks like now? As anyone who has gone through a breakup knows, the hardest part is often not being privy to the mundane details of that person’s world – their dinner parties, their wine, their friends, and so on.
I look in people's windows
Transfixed by rose golden glows
They have their friends over to drink nice wine
I look in people's windows
In case you're at their table
What if your eyes looked up and met mine
One more time
The Prophecy
The prophecy is devastating. More so than any other song Taylor has ever written, it is full of desperation and longing. All she asks for is to be known, to be understood – to not be perceived as an idea of a woman, or a starlet with no humanity:
Please
I've been on my knees
Change the prophecy
Don't want money
Just someone who wants my company
Let it once be me
Who do I have to speak to
About if they can redo
The prophecy?
It’s striking especially considering how much she laments that leaving Joe means she’s giving up being known – it’s also striking given the fact that in the epilogue poem, she states that neither Joe or Matty ever truly knew her:
He never even scratched the surface
of me.
None of them did.
What she desires beyond fame, beyond notoriety, beyond money, is to be loved and to be known. The song also alludes to her being in therapy, and to finding some sort of consolation that she will find someone to share her life with:
I'm so afraid I sealed my fate
No sign of soulmates
I'm just a paperweight
In shades of greige
Spending my last coin so someone will tell me
It'll be ok
Cassandra
This track is a sister song to thanK you aIMee, and continues exploring the theme of fraught public womanhood we see in Clara Bow and Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me. In this song, Taylor discusses how the validation of women is never publicized in the way that the crucifixion of them is:
When the first stone's thrown, there's screaming
In the streets, there's a raging riot
When it's "Burn the bitch, " they're shrieking
When the truth comes out, it's quiet
Moreover, when women speak up about an issue, they’re often viewed as overdramatic, and unserious. Cassandra, in Greek mythology, was cursed by Apollo to always predict the future accurately, but never be believed. We see this happen every day to women in politics, in the media, and in pop culture:
So, they killed Cassandra first 'cause she feared the worst
And tried to tell the town
So, they set my life in flames, I regret to say
Do you believe me now?
And for Taylor, it’s reminiscent of all the times she’s been the first to speak out about something in the industry – for example, against Scooter Braun and his well-established pattern of bullying, or of the exploitation of artists on streaming services – but never been supported broadly by her peers. They believe her later, but at that point, very few people give her the credit for speaking up in the first place. It’s reminiscent of the Kimye scandal. When the news broke originally, the hatred she received was widespread. But when she was acquitted by the long-form video that leaked, it didn’t receive anywhere near the level of coverage that the original scandal received.
Peter
Peter is another song that touches on both the male muses for this album, and in turn, on the promises various men have given her over her life (we’ll circle back to this in The Manuscript!). It also touches on the theme of waiting that’s seen throughout this album, especially on her songs about Joe – how much time is enough time to give?
Both Matty and Joe were 25 when they met her, and it’s abundantly clear that both men made promises to her: promises of marriage, of children, and of a future. But how long can she wait for these promises to be fulfilled? To Joe, she gives six years of her life and youth, and to Matty, she gives him a chance to prove that he was reformed from the time she knew him last: both men eventually fail. Neither man is ready to give up their childish whims, and she has no choice but to lose hope that either of them ever will.
And you said you'd come and get me but you were 25
And the shelf life of those fantasies has expired
Lost to the lost boys chapter of your life
Forgive me Peter, please know that I tried
To hold onto the days when you were mine
But the woman who sits by the window has turned out the light
Another thing to note is the interesting double meaning of the song title. To peter also means to diminish gradually – much like her faith in both men’s promises.
The Bolter
A lot of the songs Taylor has written about Joe in this album deal with the question of “when is the right time to leave?” When you know that things are stagnant, and you know that you’ve given everything you have to a relationship, you know that you have to leave – but it’s easy to convince yourself if you have a history of “leaving before you get left” that you should ride out this wave, and that this pain might just be temporary.
The Bolter, to me, reflects on Taylor’s history – it seems like she prided herself on being able to see the warning signs, and being able to get out in time.
She's been many places with
Men of many faces
First, they're off to the races
And she's laughing drawin' aces
But, none of it is changin'
That the chariot is waitin'
Hearts are hers for the breakin'
There's an escape in escaping
It’s relevant to TTPD, because likely, she saw not bolting as a sign of growth and maturity. You know that you’ve grown as a person when you don’t abandon ship at the first sign of trouble, but what if there are so many signs of trouble that the truly mature thing to do would be to leave?
Robin
Robin leads into this theme of childhood and innocence that we see further in The Manuscript. The track name is also the name of Aaron Dessner’s child. She ponders how beautiful and sweet it is that we work so hard to protect childhood naivete:
Strings tied to levers,
slowed down clocks tethered,
all this showmanship
To keep it, for you,
In sweetness
And there’s an element of wistfulness to it – don’t we sometimes wish that we could also be protected from the worst the world has to offer?
You have no room in your dreams for regrets
You have no idea
The time will arrive for the cruel and the mean
You'll learn to bounce back just like your trampoline
But now we'll curtail your curiosity
The Manuscript
This song is perhaps the most climactic song on the album. It covers her romantic history up until that point, and starts at the moment she feels everything went awry – and it predates Joe and Matty. Instead, it calls back to the first time she experienced a proper heartbreak, and the first time she lost her childlike innocence in the world – her relationship with Jake Gyllenhaal (a time she described as her transition from childhood to womanhood). She describes how they compared licenses, and how he told her that if they had sex, and it was as good as the conversation was, then they would get married, and have a family. He was the first man to make her these promises:
He said that if the sex was half as good as the conversation was
Soon they'd be pushin' strollers
But soon it was over
He tells her that it’s ok that they have an age gap, because she’s so advanced for her age:
She thought about how he said since she was so wise beyond her years
Everything had been above board
She wasn't sure
While dating him, she desperately wants to be older, and starts emulating his behavior:
In the age of him, she wished she was thirty
And made coffee every morning in a French press
And when it’s over, she regresses, and turns back into a child – unable to sleep alone without the comfort of her mother, and unable to eat anything substantial besides the sugary cereal of her youth:
Afterwards she only ate kids' cereal
And couldn't sleep unless it was in her mother's bed
She forces herself to date boys her own age, to not rely on the maturity of an older man to guide her through adulthood, but she can’t help but feel disappointed in their youth:
Then she dated boys who were her own age
With dart boards on the backs of their doors
Finally, as she creates the All Too Well short film, she recognizes the damage he did to her, and how the consequences of that affair have shaped her life since:
And the years passed
Like scenes of a show
The Professor said to write what you know
Lookin' backwards
Might be the only way to move forward
Then the actors
Were hitting their marks
And the slow dance
Was alight with the sparks
And the tears fell
In synchronicity with the score
And at last
She knew what the agony had been for
Everything calls back to this first man, and these original promises – everything she’s been chasing since is reminiscent of this first scar. And just like how releasing All Too Well transformed and healed her, she hopes that by releasing this additional manuscript into the world, it will heal her again. As she describes in the epilogue poem, she is entering all her thoughts, emotions, and pain into evidence – she now asks the audience to process it with her, and thus conclude this process of healing.
The only thing that's left is the manuscript
One last souvenir from my trip to your shores
Now and then I reread the manuscript
But the story isn't mine anymore
If you read all of this - thank you! I enjoyed writing it, and I'm excited to discuss with you all in the replies :)
2024.06.02 06:51 futurebannedacct Choices
 | Hello, everyone. I'm out of my hibernation with another important message for you all and I know that just makes you so fucking happy and excited. submitted by futurebannedacct to CoronavirusCirclejerk [link] [comments] I wanted to remind everyone to check out my blog, which is one of the last bastions of free speech that is left in this god-forsaken place. Alright, now that I have officially tongued my own asshole to the point where pleasure turns to dysphoria, allow me to present to you: total bullshit! ... and some other things. Let's talk about choices. We make them everyday; life is all about them. This is a somewhat true statement - because life is really all about making sure you don't wake up - and choices play a significant role in this operation. Probably not so big a role as language, however, because language is the most deceptive tool in the arsenal of the ones with the power, so it is important that we choose our words wisely. For example, I keep hearing the phrase "forced vaccinations" or "mandatory vaccinations" being thrown around conspiracy forums, and this phrase, in itself, is an example of the deceptive power of words. We need to be honest with ourselves - because through honesty the truth is exposed - and the truth is the most well hidden part of this experience because the ones in power work to keep the truth hidden at all costs... because the truth will "set you free". But I digress. No one was forced to get vaccinated - not yet, anyway - so let's be honest about this: you might have chosen to take the jab, in order to keep your job, or you might have chosen to take the jab, in order to participate in society. This is a choice that you are making. Perhaps the stakes are high and you had a lot to lose if you chose not to take the jab; but until they are breaking down your door, holding you down, and sticking that needle in your arm - until that time - you are giving your consent to take the jab. This distinction is an important one to discern because we should be paying attention to the parts in life that are forced upon us and the parts in life that we are choosing to consent to. For example, no one forced us to wear masks for an entire year, but we all (for the most part) consented to doing so, in order to participate in society. We all chose to stand on the circles on the floor, in every checkout line, of every store. We made this choice for many different reasons - but in this community - many of us simply did this for other peoples "perceived well being". In other words, we were catering to the people that make up the majority and aren't as far along in the process of "waking up" as we are... although, many people seem to be choosing to remain asleep - for many different reasons - far from the most insignificant being "fear based programming". Allow me to share my perspective: for an entire year, we all wore masks in public: an action which is gradually weakening our immune system. Also in public, we practiced "social-distancing": an action that is also gradually weakening our immune systems. Many people - the drooling masses - took this social-distancing b.s. very seriously, for their own "perceived well being" (while virtue-signaling online that they were doing it for everyone else). So, the government asked us to all make a choice: to wear masks and social-distance for a year and - oh - almost forgot! Hand sanitizer - all over, suddenly - some so strong that it seems to be pure rubbing alcohol - killing all germs - and, well... gradually weakening our immune systems! The government had us all compromising our immune systems and overall health, in preparation to get vaccinated with something that sounds... frankly, batshit insane. Do you think this was all an accident? An innocent faux-pas on the part of our dear leaders? I think this was done intentionally. I've also prepared this meme, to help illustrate the conspiracy in question: The inspiration for this actually came from a post in that was written by someone who is, by no means, an anti-vaxxer, and overall still happy to be vaccinated... because the debilitating side-effects, self-replicating spike proteins is nothing compared to the constant onslaught of fear-based programming. "Trust the science". That's the last thing I think I'll do; thank you very much. Science is a bullshit factory specializing in limiting beliefs, which uses language to support any point of view that it chooses to support... and of course the point of view we are inundated with, in excess, is that of the ones in power. So please know that if you choose to educate me in the comments, about why the science behind social distancing, face masks and hand sanitizer is to our benefit then I'm either going to think you are being intentionally deceitful, or I will feel sorry for you because you have sincerely become this invested in the wrong direction of practices that are to your benefit. The moral of the story is that the words we use need to be chosen carefully, because when we choose words such as "forced" and "mandated", we are only working to deceive ourselves further away from the truth. The truth is that we are consistently bombarded with propaganda and manipulation, from the many resources available to the power structure, with the goal of getting our consent. The internet has been a great resource for the power structure to use for minimizing the power of consent. We must constantly "agree" to the terms and conditions that are made to be intentionally agonizing to read and understand. We are being trained to believe that consent is of little value or importance - consent is nothing more than a single click - in order to get to the prize on the other side. The truth may be that our consent is far more valuable than we realize: our consent is one of our most valuable assets. We need to pay attention to the effect that our consent has on our shared reality - because if there is one thing I learned, after experiencing psychosis - it's that the greatest sin is often committed by very kind people: the kind of people who are timid, helpful, and generous to a point where others take advantage of their kind, benevolent nature. Everyone knows someone who is in a relationship with a manipulative, controlling narcissist that walks all over them. Everyone knows someone who is kind, meek, and respectful of others... because they have no backbone. Someone who has lived a life of avoiding any and all conflict, at all costs, and chooses instead to allow others to take advantage of them. When you habitually allow others to walk all over you, this is your consent that "it's ok for others to do this to me". You are a worse person that the one who is violating you, because you think that it is ok for this to happen to you. Alright - that was just to set the mood for the actual post - which will begin..... ........ ......... now. CHOICES: PATRIOTIC EDITION In the spirit of (shudder) "the most free country on Earth" we're going to (I had a bad reaction to typing that just now, I find the idea to be suffocating and repulsive) talk about choices in red, white and blue. To be perfectly honest, I don't know that much about topics like "color programming", or the exact science and reasoning behind it; I just know that this color palette is used with enough frequency and in a way where there is likely some intent behind it. Perhaps it's as simple as feeling patriotic about democracy, constitutional rights, and other deceptive concepts that are total bullshit - or maybe - the meaning behind it goes far deeper, into the psychological manipulation that is induced by this particular color palette. When I saw that the magnet shared the same red/blue color palette, I realized that these colors are likely being used in order to put each individual into a state of polarization. CHOICE # 1 Games are fun. Games are based in conflict. Manufacturing reality by making conflict the biggest source for entertainment. Being alive involves the near constant activity of making choices. We are indoctrinated with the idea that having more choices is desirable. The power construct that is manufacturing reality has recently gone into overdrive in the manufacturing of choices. As the information age progresses through time, the amount of choices is becoming an ever increasing burden on the collective consciousness. The choices are presented using many different angles. A popular example is beliefs, which are currently being exploited by the manufacturers of choices more than any other time in the collective memory... which is always followed closely by the collective amnesia. Choices are deeply rooted in the DIVIDE AND CONQUER strategy, an all time favorite of the power construct. Choices are now being utilized in another favorite strategy for maintaining control: ORDER OUT OF CHAOS. Choices have an important role in the MANUFACTURING OF CONSENT, which is highly valued by the power construct. Consent is the oil that keeps the reality machine running smoothly, which is why so much effort is put into the illusion that consent has very little value. This illusion is concealed very well within the fabric of the intangible idea of reality that is overlaying the physical, material reality and has been so successful that consent is given almost instantaneously and without a second thought. Meanwhile, the illusion of value that has been given to currency is as strong as ever: remaining in its long-held position as one of the "pillars of control", which supports and maintains the power construct. The other pillar of control: the illusion of legitimacy, which several institutions within the power construct rely on, has been under maintenance, as a new version is being installed. While the anticipation for this new update slowly builds, the grand master illusion behind the power construct: FEAR BASED PROGRAMMING, - that's it - I'm giving up on this now. They're fucking plastic robots that hit each other until one of their heads... pops a boner? CHOICE # 2 A theme that seems to always accompany color-based choices emerges: everyone on the outside, looking in, sees an absolutely pointless rivalry. These dudes are victims of mind control. Well, after choice # 1 resulted in a train wreck of disjointed abstractions trying way too hard to be deep, meaningful observations, I am troubled by the thought of how many readers have probably given up on this. I want everyone that is still with me to know that, due to irrational fears about what anonymous online profiles might think about me, I will now focus primarily on "fitting in" and being likeable, by employing a strategy of trying very hard to not express any more ideas that might be considered "out there". Obviously, this is just the result of growing up poor and uneducated in the ghetto. I mean, who is crazy enough to actually believe that this is somehow connected to other rivalry's that use... very similar hues of red and blue. I mean, they are two of the most popular colors out there - both primary - and... realistically, there aren't that many colors; especially that complement each other like red and blue... ahh, blue and red: the colors of rivalry. There's no deep conspiracy here. Obviously, these guys wear these colors so they know who their enemies are... because, otherwise, there is no reason to kill each other. This is all about the colors. It would be completely pointless otherwise and these guys would probably get on well and hang out in each other's back yards... and then the cops would have nothing to do, which would be a waste of tax payer dollars. Can't have cops just standing around eatin' donuts and getting fat. CHOICE # 3 Coke & Pepsi. A classic rivalry that makes me proud to live in a free country, where great ideas like capitalism can flourish. I know that they are made by the same company, but I don't really think that matters, ya know? We are presented with choices. Our choices shape our opinions. So, if I choose red - I mean - Coke, then I will get along with others who choose Coke and we will agree that we chose correctly and that the people that prefer blue - I mean - Pepsi, chose incorrectly. Well, the people that chose blue think they chose correctly and that it is, in fact, the red people that chose incorrectly. This is a conflict of interests, and conflicts create division. People who are divided require a non-biased mediator so that order can be maintained and, because this mediator cares about the safety of both the red and the blue groups, it only makes sense that they should be given the authority to decide what is ok and is not ok for both groups. This is the most rational and logical option because the authority isn't biased towards red or blue, which means they will know what's best for everyone's interests. The police are there to make sure that all red and all blue people are all following all of the all-inclusive rules, mandated by the mediator, and all this is done for the greater good of society. I - I'm gonna get all choked up over here, just thinking about how nice the government is to do all that it does for us. They protect us from those fucking freaks that drink Pepsi. God I fucking hate those sub-human blue-tards! Red people generally have more money and are more successful, which means they are smarter. What started as a small neighborhood feud between Coke and Pepsi is actually how the gang warfare between the Bloods & Crips originated. That's right, they got the colors from Coke and Pepsi, which obviously is a lot more likely than a vast conspiracy involving powerful people manipulating reality in order to maintain control and power over the uninitiated masses. Fuck poor people. Oh, and how about those people that make their preference for Coke or Pepsi an aspect of their personality? They don't seem to understand that the color of the can is the only fucking difference. That's why I stick with Tab Cola, for those unmistakable metallic flavors and the uncomfortable, sticky feeling all over my body the next day. CHOICE # 4 They're the exact same store except for the fact that one is red and one is blue... and yet, you have a preference for one over the other. You made up some reasons for why they are different in your head, because you are under an immense amount of mind control. Ahh... consumerism: the arena of pointless choices. Why does only one company manufacture all the different brands of eyeglasses? Perhaps... to have control over the market? No - to have control over you, stupid - and no: this isn't a joke. It's a desperate plea, urging you to wake up and see this shit for what it really is, while you have this opportunity - this window - into the illusion. You see, they are getting desperate - and lately, the world seems like it has gone mad - which is part of their strategy, which is preventing you from seeing it. Why do you think there are suddenly twenty new M&M's flavor combinations? All these new Reese's Peanut Butter Cup's with minor alterations of essentially the same fucking thing? Let me guess: they're just having fun... right? Trying to stir up interest in candy bars? Or maybe for profit... right? This is just a business strategy to get your money... right? No... no... I'm afraid you're thinking way too small... with your logic and reason and all the other LIMITING BELIEFS that you have been - and are being - indoctrinated with: every fucking day! These are all pointless choices (brought to you by consumerism) that are trying to keep you distracted. Trying to keep your mind occupied. Why is Netflix trying to induce option paralysis? Why are the high-tech gadgets we use for entertainment purposes bombarding us with a constant onslaught of ads, new articles, stories, and a maddening amount of pointless bullshit?!?!?! They want you to be overwhelmed; they want you to freeze. They want you to have no sense of identity. They want life to overwhelm you with an endless list of pointless shit that has to get done in order to maintain... in order to maintain... to maintain what? THE ILLUSION, IDIOT. Ok: that was uncalled for. I don't think you're an idiot. I think that you know, in the bottom of your cold, gray heart , that the crazy shit I am saying sounds right (for some reason). They are manipulating reality in order to keep you under their power and control. I don't exactly know why, but I do know that they care a lot more about you being distracted than they care about worthless green paper. You know what? I bet the 1% doesn't give a shit about money: they simply have all of it just to piss you off. Why is all this corruption in the news all the time? The next fucking scandal that everyone can talk about? WHY is the news telling us to wear masks, get vaccinated and then, the following week, admitting COVID-19 is a bio-weapon? TO KEEP YOU DISTRACTED. THAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO THEM. Oh, and Walmart and Target's LOGOS both contain some occult symbolism. Yep: Target's logo is the astrological symbol for the sun and Walmart's logo is the Star of David... with the hexagon in the middle. The hexagon is symbolic of the cube. Once you understand that you can't not see the cube. It's fucking weird - but also a conversation for another time - when we can discuss why all of these well-known corporate LOGOs are symbolic of Saturn: https://preview.redd.it/vsv8fcvh834d1.jpg?width=511&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d9a14f0b398633824a2768e3128268aa6628c689 CHOICE # 5 You know what? I think I should devote a large portion of my life to watching a bunch of overpaid, mentally compromised, grown-ass men chase a ball around. I also think I should be passionate about the team that is closest to me in geographical proximity. This is not mind control, but as a conspiracy realist, I do like to point out that MK Ultra really did happen, and the CIA really did experiment with mind control back in the 1950's, but the program ended decades ago. I like to go on online conspiracy forums, and help people understand the reality of conspiracy theories, so they don't get sucked into lies like Q-anon or lizard people or THIS POST, WHICH IS OBVIOUSLY THE WORK OF A MENTALLY UNSTABLE INDIVIDUAL. Watching sports makes me feel safe, and comfortable, because it distracts me from all the bullshit of everyday life. It's good to have a nice distraction - and fill my mind with useless sports stats - or talk endlessly with the bro's about individual players strength's and weaknesses - in a boring, monotonous tone of voice - while I sip domestic piss-water beer. I don't want to think too deeply about things because it starts to make me really uncomfortable when I have to confront reality. I'd rather just not worry about it and see what happens. Who am I but a lowly speck of insignificant, worthless dog shit in this giant, scary universe, where I am completely powerless to do anything but take whatever beating the world feels like dishing out to me that day? I dunno. Maybe Jesus will come back and good will win out in the end. Good always wins in the end - that's just the way it works - so I don't really have to worry about anything. God is good. My little brother doesn't like sports at all. He likes to put on girls makeup, and is always depressed and confused and obsessing about some dumb shit. We're lucky to live in the modern age, with advancements in science that will allow my brother to medically transition into the woman that he always should have been - and always truly was - on the inside. Some assholes don't think that trans women are women. They just don't understand how science works, and don't care to learn. They are just misogynistic, transphobic assholes. That's right: if you don't think that you can be born a man and then change into a woman that means you are transphobic. You hate trans people because you don't want to believe that a man can change into a woman. Anyway - that's my brother -not me. I like guy shit... because I'm normal. CHOICE # 666 The choice of the beast Oh NO! Everyone hates politics - which is why I hid it at the end - because I know nobody is still reading this. I've alienated myself from the audience, with all the confusing switching between dialogues of seemingly different people and JUST BECAUSE I BET there will be some DIP-CLIP that says "voting is how we get things done around here." HA! Nice try, but this isn't about politics; this is a meta-analysis of WHY it's NO POLITICS. The short answer is that participating in this is as pointless as those people above, participating in gang warfare against their fellow man. "THOSE PEOPLE?" What do you mean, those people? Black people? THIS GUYS RACIST. No, even worse: HE'S INTOLERANT. The human race has become far too soft, weak and emasculated by the pesticides and environmental toxins that get dumped all over us, every day! GET VACCINATED for other people, you SELFISH CONSPIRACY THEORIST. This is why we aren't going to reach herd immunity and we will have to deal with COVID-19 for years to come: because of people like you. WHY WOULD I trust a RANDOM, intolerant asshole on Reddit, who watched a YouTube video about lizard people, over EXPERTS who WENT TO SCHOOL for years to become indoctrinated, believe everything the MSM tells them, and completely LACK the ability to critically think?! All my life I heard that I "need to go to college", and today I couldn't be happier that I am not of a "higher education" because, from what I've gathered, they are some of the most CLOSE-MINDED people on the planet. LIMITING BELIEFS. That's what trendy these days. I'm not done yet! Yes, I'm gonna talk about the donkey and the elephant: not only are politics bullshit; those who participate in politics are participating in a terrible, evil practice. Why would you affiliate with a political party and tell people what you think they can and cannot do? Can't you see that's the crux of the problem? I know things are fucked when the majority of people are of the opinion that we need to FIX the government (change it, drain the swamp, bureaucracy, etc.) They don't get it - we don't need to change the government - we need to END the government. Government is the single biggest threat to humanity. "But they protect us from the BAD people." Guess what? "The bad people" are there because of the government. The government needs the bad people to be there, in order to maintain their "illusion of legitimacy" (credit - Jim@EOI) and make themselves seem needed. THE BAD PEOPLE are the people who protect us. The sooner you understand that, the better off you are. And people are still talking about election fraud because they think that Trump is GOOD. Can't you see the mind control? How are these people this BLIND to reality? Manipulation of reality. Look... it's the superpowers. The greatest countries in the world! But why do they have the exact same color scheme as all the pointless choices? How can they be united? This is the divided states and the divided kingdom, and they have conquered. DIVIDE & CONQUER. Oh, wait... some patriots went off to find a new home and fight for freedom from the oppression of the taxation of the royal bloody palace? Only to go and make a new country even more oppressive and with higher taxes, some two-hundred odd years later? Are you SURE that it wasn't actually to commit GENOCIDE against all the indigenous BROWN PEOPLE, whose genetic makeup allowed them to have a far deeper understanding of spirituality? CoUlDn't bE Th@T.... I'M DRAWING A LINE IN THE SAND I am so sick of the average Redditor - who thinks they're smart because they're an atheist who understands science - arguing with me, using all their SUPER-BELIEVABLE LIMITING BELIEFS. I know on Reddit it's hard to tell who is real and who ... isn't real - but these people are seemingly the majority now - and they're fucked. They don't even actually understand what science is. Science isn't chopping off your dick to be a woman. Let's talk about the actual scientist who performed many series of actual scientific experiments to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that people are able to control material reality with only the use of their minds. Why doesn't anyone ever want to talk about THAT science? What it seems is that every thing in this world - every institution, religion, and academic study - has been corrupted to keep us under control. The people that are in control of this world have access to esoteric knowledge that they have hidden from the masses to keep for themselves. This knowledge involves the ability to manipulate reality, which they use for power and keeping the rest of us down and powerless. From what I can tell, the thing they don't want us to know is that we are powerful beings, with capabilities that have been hidden and unused. Every person needs to understand that they are a powerful being that doesn't need any help or anyone to save them. WE have the power to control our own destiny. If the majority would start believing in their power and themselves, we would have a chance at ending this shitty reality manipulation and living as non-dual beings of love - as the true source of creation made us - powerful, independent beings with everything we need, and no need to evolve or learn shitty lessons about suffering. Unfortunately, it seems like most people would prefer to keep their creature comforts, believe that this isn't as bad as I am making it sound, and remain here, in the safety of familiarity... away from the fear of the unknown. And that makes me so fucking sad that it brings tears to my eyes. |
2024.06.02 06:49 ZanyRaptorClay Why does this one cartoon make me so angry? Am I alone here?
There’s this one TikTok/Shorts cartoon called “Chikn Nuggit.” I’ve been watching it ever since it was brand new. It’s basically about a group of cute cartoon animals named after fast food products (e.g. Cheezborger, Cofi, Iscream, Fwench Fwy, etc.).
In earlier shorts, the characters just do silly things and occasionally break the fourth wall to spread positive messages to the audience (e.g. Happy Pride Month, you’re valid, things will get better, etc.).
At a certain point, however, the creators started making the cartoon more serial than episodic. This would’ve been fine if it weren’t for the fact that the “lore” is incredibly dark, disturbing, and existential.
This is the gist of what happened:
When the cartoon started shifting directions and turned into a serial psychological horror drama, it affected me in weird ways. I know it sounds silly, but I honestly became more depressed. I got really angry. I've never felt this way with other cartoons. I just felt awful.
Around this time, I abandoned Chikn Nuggit and moved on to Bluey, a show that gave me the same amount of joy early Chikn Nuggit brought me. Unfortunately, Bluey has entered an indefinite hiatus recently, and Chikn Nuggit's "lore" has only gotten darker.
I often try to cope with my feelings by making a joke out of it online to make it sound ironic, but I unironically feel nothing but rage when I see Chikn Nuggit nowadays, especially the later episodes.
Am I alone here? Am I the only person who feels this way about a "silly" cartoon? Is it because I'm autistic? Is there a scientific explanation to my feelings? Are my feelings valid? Are there any other openly queer cartoons out there that aren't depressing and dark?
submitted by ZanyRaptorClay to autism [link] [comments]
In earlier shorts, the characters just do silly things and occasionally break the fourth wall to spread positive messages to the audience (e.g. Happy Pride Month, you’re valid, things will get better, etc.).
At a certain point, however, the creators started making the cartoon more serial than episodic. This would’ve been fine if it weren’t for the fact that the “lore” is incredibly dark, disturbing, and existential.
This is the gist of what happened:
- A character named “Bezel” was added.
- Chikn (the titular character) is revealed to be a god with world-ending abilities.
- Bezel is hinted to take an interest in pushing Chikn to his breaking point and destroying everything.
- Bezel influences Chikn’s closest friend into a relationship with someone else. This causes the two friends to separate and Chikn falls into a depression.
- The latest short (as of typing this) shows Bezel looking over a depressed Chikn as his clock head ticks to midnight, hinting that something terrible is about to happen.
When the cartoon started shifting directions and turned into a serial psychological horror drama, it affected me in weird ways. I know it sounds silly, but I honestly became more depressed. I got really angry. I've never felt this way with other cartoons. I just felt awful.
Around this time, I abandoned Chikn Nuggit and moved on to Bluey, a show that gave me the same amount of joy early Chikn Nuggit brought me. Unfortunately, Bluey has entered an indefinite hiatus recently, and Chikn Nuggit's "lore" has only gotten darker.
I often try to cope with my feelings by making a joke out of it online to make it sound ironic, but I unironically feel nothing but rage when I see Chikn Nuggit nowadays, especially the later episodes.
Am I alone here? Am I the only person who feels this way about a "silly" cartoon? Is it because I'm autistic? Is there a scientific explanation to my feelings? Are my feelings valid? Are there any other openly queer cartoons out there that aren't depressing and dark?
2024.06.02 06:47 Mr-Gainz Now that the dust has settled on the pandemic how do we all feel about our governments handling of it? (From a financial standpoint)
I’ll start.. locking everyone up while also stimulating the economy with handouts was probably the dumbest thing I’ve witnessed our government do in my 30 short years on this island. To pour a little more fuel on the fire they allowed everyone, without reason, to pull $20k from their super which I can only assume was majority spent on cars and consumer electronics 🤦🏻♂️
I’m not sure how I would have handled it had it been my problem to solve but surely there was a better way. Now the entire country is suffering and will continue to suffer for at least the next 5 odd years due to a knee jerk reaction over something that could now be considered a common cold.
Not looking for a fight here, just some other viewpoints and healthy debate/discussion
Edit: Thankyou all for the input. I seems we fared well compared to other countries, I must be too privileged to see good we have it, that and the old heads at work have brainwashed me to question everything I see. My comments about the severity of covid were only based on my experiences with the virus (an extremely small sample size). I think my distain for the way it was handled stems from the fact I’m now picking up the bill with the interest rate on my mortgage and the cost of living while I didn’t receive $1 from any government handout (essential worker) I do have a massive increase in equity from all this but that feels useless when all other homes went up too. Maybe I can debt recycle when rates come down to capitalise on those gains. Thanks again for the input, despite getting torn apart for my ignorance I am actually learning a lot here
submitted by Mr-Gainz to AusFinance [link] [comments]
I’m not sure how I would have handled it had it been my problem to solve but surely there was a better way. Now the entire country is suffering and will continue to suffer for at least the next 5 odd years due to a knee jerk reaction over something that could now be considered a common cold.
Not looking for a fight here, just some other viewpoints and healthy debate/discussion
Edit: Thankyou all for the input. I seems we fared well compared to other countries, I must be too privileged to see good we have it, that and the old heads at work have brainwashed me to question everything I see. My comments about the severity of covid were only based on my experiences with the virus (an extremely small sample size). I think my distain for the way it was handled stems from the fact I’m now picking up the bill with the interest rate on my mortgage and the cost of living while I didn’t receive $1 from any government handout (essential worker) I do have a massive increase in equity from all this but that feels useless when all other homes went up too. Maybe I can debt recycle when rates come down to capitalise on those gains. Thanks again for the input, despite getting torn apart for my ignorance I am actually learning a lot here
2024.06.02 06:46 mansplanar 20 Hinge Prompts to Help You Get a Response
I think “my simple pleasure” is the best prompt. If used right it’s a good way to say things you like. For example mine was- thrift stores, new tattoos, Philly sports and R&B. Really depends how you write it
As a woman, I’d advise men not to use “I won’t shut up about,” as a prompt.
Woman constantly complain about men dominating verbal conversations. Saying you “won’t shut up about…” just reinforces that you might be one of those guys.
I think if you actually have a good travel story, that prompt can work. That is to say, I think that the "tiers" really fluctuate a lot from person to person, and your qualifiers ("this works if you're funny") are kind of proof of that.
For example, I have two pretty good stories about coming face to face with sharks, and one less good story about coming face to face with a shark. I think that the shark thing is just crazy enough that it intrigues most people. But you have to have a genuinely good story for it to work.
Also, someone else said they need to get rid of prompts - I disagree. It's really annoying if you try a new prompt and then can't go back to your old one.
I think “my idea of a good Sunday” is a great prompt bc if guys include it and they say “church,” I’m 95% more likely to like them.
THERE'S AN ART to curating your Hinge profile. If you're looking for quality matches, don't be the guy with a barren profile who sends a mildly-enthused "hey, how's it going" to every potential partner. Hinge offers a feature called prompts: conversation starters that let you show yourself off and spark more substantive conversations—and you should use them to your advantage.
Choosing the right Hinge prompts—and writing good answers those prompts—will help you scan the many fish in the sea to find those most suited for you. It might sound like a daunting task to craft the perfect profile, but at least you're an expert in the subject matter: you.
Best Practices for Crafting Your Hinge Prompts
Having an air of mystery may seem hot in movies, but it's just a waste of time in real life—especially when it comes to dating apps, where determining what's real and what's not is so much more difficult than it is in person. "Being coy may seem like a safer way to interact on apps, but it doesn't yield fruitful results," Engle says. (No one's swiping right on a bio that says "I suck at writing bios.")
So nix those coy answers and get specific when you fill out your Hinge prompts. The more specific you get, the likelier you are to match with people that are similar to you. That means you'll really have to think about yourself and want you want.
Be specific when discussing what you're looking for, too. Vagueness won't help narrow your options. For example, don't just say you're looking for "someone with a lot of personality" (is anyone not looking for someone with a personality?); say you're looking for "someone with a lot of energy, and who enjoys being active and trying new things" (or whatever that personality looks like to you). Be honest, both with yourself and in your profile. Don't say you're "super into the gym" because you want someone with a six-pack, when in reality you haven't been to gym in six months and have no intention of starting again.
Add a variety of prompts to paint a full picture of yourself. If all of your prompts are jokes, that doesn't reveal a ton about you. But, if all your prompts are serious, you might come off as a little intense—and you won't be revealing much about your day-to-day life.
The 20 Best Hinge Prompts to Help You Get You a Response
Here are 20 Hinge prompts to get you off the apps and into real relationships.
I'll pick the topic if you start the conversation...
Starting a conversation isn't easy, and with this prompt, you're meeting them halfway. It creates less of a barrier to entry for the person doing the messaging. Pick a topic you're interested in or care about, and "be as specific as possible," Engle says.
What you can say:
The best bands to come out of the 90's.
The worst holiday traditions.
The best and worst concerts you've seen.
The last time I cried happy tears was...
"Consider the things that really make you YOU," Engle says. Mentioning things you care about "will allow you to engage with like-minded people who share similar likes and interests."
What you can say:
When they showed Jason Kelce ripping his shirt off at Travis's touchdown against the Bills.
At the closing scene of All of Us Strangers.
When I PR'ed my back squat (the boys didn't see).
The one thing I'd love to know about you is...
It's always nice to see someone on a dating app be interested in you, even if they haven't seen you yet. Put that energy out there with this prompt. People might feel more comfortable responding when it's something about them, since they know themselves the best. Find a topic that's important to you, and let your potential match take it from there.
What you can say:
What would you do for a living if money weren't a factor?
What's your go-to coffee shop order?
Were you a Nickelodeon or Disney kid?
Let's make sure we're on the same page about...
The great thing about this prompt is you can make your answer as lighthearted or as serious as you want. If you have something that's a deal-breaker for you (like wanting an open relationship), you can insert that here. It also works if you have something a little less serious that still plays a role in your life (like putting pineapple on pizza) and you want to get that out there.
What you can say:
Not wanting kids.
The ending of Game of Thrones.
The shape of Earth.
This year, I really want to...
This prompt is an excellent way to open up potential first date options, or show how you want to work on yourself in this upcoming year. Want to get more creative, more fit, or try something new? Maybe someone out there wants to do the same—and wants a partner to do it with.
What you can say:
Try a ceramics class.
Drink less.
Find the best burger in town.
I'm looking for...
If you already know what you're looking for, you may as well lay it all out there. That being said, don't nit-pick or be judgmental in your answer. Don't be too vague either, or you won't narrow down your options for people best suited to you.
What you can say:
Someone who will get along with my family.
Someone comfortable with being in an open relationship.
A good time, not a long time.
My simple pleasures...
You're probably looking for someone with similar interests as you (at least, we hope you are). "Prompts serve as conversation starters, so consider your interests, hobbies, and skills and lead with those," Engle says. Odds are someone shares them with you.
What you can say:
The smell of fresh cut grass.
When Debbie from marketing brings in banana bread.
Open sunroofs.
I go crazy for...
Another easy way into talking about the things you like—but make sure it's something you can carry conversation on. "Focus on answers that you can go into detail on," Engle says. "Talk about interests, hobbies, and goals outside of romantic relationships to give potential partners a full picture of the person you are."
What you can say:
Planning my next trip before the one I'm on has even ended.
Barry Keoghan. Obviously.
Reruns of Pimp My Ride.
Everyone gets nervous when it comes to online dating. Confidence is hot, but most of us aren't 100-percent confident all of the time, and that's okay. This shows you're nervous, too, but can hype yourself up when need be.
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
This is another way to discuss what's important to you, with a call to action for the other person. You can pull in your hobbies, hopes for the future, or interests—the world is your oyster here. But remember: specifics, specifics, specifics (don't just put down "you like sports").
submitted by mansplanar to MatchMeBro [link] [comments]
As a woman, I’d advise men not to use “I won’t shut up about,” as a prompt.
Woman constantly complain about men dominating verbal conversations. Saying you “won’t shut up about…” just reinforces that you might be one of those guys.
I think if you actually have a good travel story, that prompt can work. That is to say, I think that the "tiers" really fluctuate a lot from person to person, and your qualifiers ("this works if you're funny") are kind of proof of that.
For example, I have two pretty good stories about coming face to face with sharks, and one less good story about coming face to face with a shark. I think that the shark thing is just crazy enough that it intrigues most people. But you have to have a genuinely good story for it to work.
Also, someone else said they need to get rid of prompts - I disagree. It's really annoying if you try a new prompt and then can't go back to your old one.
I think “my idea of a good Sunday” is a great prompt bc if guys include it and they say “church,” I’m 95% more likely to like them.
THERE'S AN ART to curating your Hinge profile. If you're looking for quality matches, don't be the guy with a barren profile who sends a mildly-enthused "hey, how's it going" to every potential partner. Hinge offers a feature called prompts: conversation starters that let you show yourself off and spark more substantive conversations—and you should use them to your advantage.
Choosing the right Hinge prompts—and writing good answers those prompts—will help you scan the many fish in the sea to find those most suited for you. It might sound like a daunting task to craft the perfect profile, but at least you're an expert in the subject matter: you.
Best Practices for Crafting Your Hinge Prompts
Having an air of mystery may seem hot in movies, but it's just a waste of time in real life—especially when it comes to dating apps, where determining what's real and what's not is so much more difficult than it is in person. "Being coy may seem like a safer way to interact on apps, but it doesn't yield fruitful results," Engle says. (No one's swiping right on a bio that says "I suck at writing bios.")
So nix those coy answers and get specific when you fill out your Hinge prompts. The more specific you get, the likelier you are to match with people that are similar to you. That means you'll really have to think about yourself and want you want.
Be specific when discussing what you're looking for, too. Vagueness won't help narrow your options. For example, don't just say you're looking for "someone with a lot of personality" (is anyone not looking for someone with a personality?); say you're looking for "someone with a lot of energy, and who enjoys being active and trying new things" (or whatever that personality looks like to you). Be honest, both with yourself and in your profile. Don't say you're "super into the gym" because you want someone with a six-pack, when in reality you haven't been to gym in six months and have no intention of starting again.
Add a variety of prompts to paint a full picture of yourself. If all of your prompts are jokes, that doesn't reveal a ton about you. But, if all your prompts are serious, you might come off as a little intense—and you won't be revealing much about your day-to-day life.
The 20 Best Hinge Prompts to Help You Get You a Response
Here are 20 Hinge prompts to get you off the apps and into real relationships.
I'll pick the topic if you start the conversation...
Starting a conversation isn't easy, and with this prompt, you're meeting them halfway. It creates less of a barrier to entry for the person doing the messaging. Pick a topic you're interested in or care about, and "be as specific as possible," Engle says.
What you can say:
The best bands to come out of the 90's.
The worst holiday traditions.
The best and worst concerts you've seen.
The last time I cried happy tears was...
"Consider the things that really make you YOU," Engle says. Mentioning things you care about "will allow you to engage with like-minded people who share similar likes and interests."
What you can say:
When they showed Jason Kelce ripping his shirt off at Travis's touchdown against the Bills.
At the closing scene of All of Us Strangers.
When I PR'ed my back squat (the boys didn't see).
The one thing I'd love to know about you is...
It's always nice to see someone on a dating app be interested in you, even if they haven't seen you yet. Put that energy out there with this prompt. People might feel more comfortable responding when it's something about them, since they know themselves the best. Find a topic that's important to you, and let your potential match take it from there.
What you can say:
What would you do for a living if money weren't a factor?
What's your go-to coffee shop order?
Were you a Nickelodeon or Disney kid?
Let's make sure we're on the same page about...
The great thing about this prompt is you can make your answer as lighthearted or as serious as you want. If you have something that's a deal-breaker for you (like wanting an open relationship), you can insert that here. It also works if you have something a little less serious that still plays a role in your life (like putting pineapple on pizza) and you want to get that out there.
What you can say:
Not wanting kids.
The ending of Game of Thrones.
The shape of Earth.
This year, I really want to...
This prompt is an excellent way to open up potential first date options, or show how you want to work on yourself in this upcoming year. Want to get more creative, more fit, or try something new? Maybe someone out there wants to do the same—and wants a partner to do it with.
What you can say:
Try a ceramics class.
Drink less.
Find the best burger in town.
I'm looking for...
If you already know what you're looking for, you may as well lay it all out there. That being said, don't nit-pick or be judgmental in your answer. Don't be too vague either, or you won't narrow down your options for people best suited to you.
What you can say:
Someone who will get along with my family.
Someone comfortable with being in an open relationship.
A good time, not a long time.
My simple pleasures...
You're probably looking for someone with similar interests as you (at least, we hope you are). "Prompts serve as conversation starters, so consider your interests, hobbies, and skills and lead with those," Engle says. Odds are someone shares them with you.
What you can say:
The smell of fresh cut grass.
When Debbie from marketing brings in banana bread.
Open sunroofs.
I go crazy for...
Another easy way into talking about the things you like—but make sure it's something you can carry conversation on. "Focus on answers that you can go into detail on," Engle says. "Talk about interests, hobbies, and goals outside of romantic relationships to give potential partners a full picture of the person you are."
What you can say:
Planning my next trip before the one I'm on has even ended.
Barry Keoghan. Obviously.
Reruns of Pimp My Ride.
You should leave a comment if...
This is another way to discuss what's important to you, with a call to action for the other person. You can pull in your hobbies, hopes for the future, or interests—the world is your oyster here. But remember: specifics, specifics, specifics (don't just put down "you like sports").What you can say:
- You were hoping for a Ravens versus Bills Super Bowl.
- Your Spotify daylist often includes the term "mallgoth."
- You're on the dance floor all night at the club.
A shower thought I recently had...
Balance your prompts by throwing in a lighter option here and there. A shower thought is a great way to show off your humor and how your mind works. Get creative.What you can say:
- Could really use a beer in here.
- Whose Line Is It Anyway needs a reboot.
- Is Punxsutawney Phil doing okay mentally?
Green flags I look for...
Get a little deeper into what you're looking for in your person by hinting at characteristics you want to see in someone. It's better to be open and honest about what you're looking for in a potential partner then have to do the dirty work of talking to a bunch of people only to find out you don't actually see a future with them.What you can say:
- Funny conversation, but can get deep, too.
- Tipping 20 percent, always.
- Emotional support water bottles. Here for the hydration.
We're the same type of weird if...
Have some nuance interests that you want to get out there? Here's your chance.What you can say:
- You're hitting up the Renaissance fair every time it comes to town.
- You're the person everyone wants on their trivia team.
- You enjoy 5Ks on Thanksgiving, too.
Everyone gets nervous when it comes to online dating. Confidence is hot, but most of us aren't 100-percent confident all of the time, and that's okay. This shows you're nervous, too, but can hype yourself up when need be.
What you can say:
- Blaring some hard rap.
- Power posing.
- Hitting the gym.
I feel most supported when...
Dating app prompts aren't all about making the right joke or being overly funny. You'll want to layer in some real prompts, too, to show potential partners you can get deep. This prompt is a great way to do that without getting too vulnerable before you're ready. Plus, it reveals a little bit about what you want out of a relationship.What you can say:
- My partner help around the house.
- There's healthy communication.
- My family and friends support my work.
A fun fact about me is...
An oldie but a goodie. To mix in a lighthearted prompt with some deeper ones, stick with what you know and toss in your go-to fun fact from freshman seminar in college. Don't over think the "fun" part—just pick something you think is unique about yourself!What you can say:
- I've been cage diving with sharks.
- I speak four languages.
- I never lose in Mario Kart. Ever.
Teach me something about...
Want to learn something new and find a partner at the same time? This is also a great way to show an interest in potential partners by making your answer something related to them. Like we said, people are always more comfortable talking about themselves because it's the one thing they know everything about. People love talking about their passions... maybe someone out there has the same one as you. This is a great way to find out.What you can say:
- The Roman Empire
- Your ick list
- What you want to see in a partner
I know the best spot in town for...
Hate the phase of online dating where you message back and forth forever and never actually get to a first date? Us, too. This prompt can help speed up that process by getting you out of the app, and meeting in person. Suggest something you'd want to do for a first date.Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
What you can say:
- $5 happy hour Miller Lites.
- VPR watch parties.
- Live music.
First round is on me if...
Another prompt that gets you out of the app and right into the first date. Plus, you can pose a characteristic you really want to see in a partner: a win-win. PSA though: If it translates, you do actually have to pay for the first round.What you can say:
- You love a Dadbod.
- You also cried when My Chemical Romance broke up.
- You're okay with my dog joining us.
My typical Sunday...
This gives a little snippet into your every day life. You're probably looking for someone who lives a similar lifestyle to you (if you're a "sleep until the afternoon every weekend" kind of guy, you're probably not looking for a "6 a.m. half marathon on a Saturday" kind of girl), and this is a great way to give them that insight.What you can say:
- Rearranging all my furniture...again.
- Hitting the snooze button relentlessly.
- A walk with the dogs, football with the guys, and meal prep.
Give me travel tips for...
Have a trip coming up? Hit two birds with one stone: get some travel recommendations and start up a conversation with a potential special someone. It's an easy entry to talking, and you can quickly branch to "well, where else have you traveled to recently?" Even if you just put down your neighborhood—there's nothing like a little stay-cation.You should leave a comment if...This is another way to discuss what's important to you, with a call to action for the other person. You can pull in your hobbies, hopes for the future, or interests—the world is your oyster here. But remember: specifics, specifics, specifics (don't just put down "you like sports").
What you can say:
- You were hoping for a Ravens versus Bills Super Bowl.
- Your Spotify daylist often includes the term "mallgoth."
- You're on the dance floor all night at the club.
A shower thought I recently had...
Balance your prompts by throwing in a lighter option here and there. A shower thought is a great way to show off your humor and how your mind works. Get creative.What you can say:
- Could really use a beer in here.
- Whose Line Is It Anyway needs a reboot.
- Is Punxsutawney Phil doing okay mentally?
Green flags I look for...
Get a little deeper into what you're looking for in your person by hinting at characteristics you want to see in someone. It's better to be open and honest about what you're looking for in a potential partner then have to do the dirty work of talking to a bunch of people only to find out you don't actually see a future with them.What you can say:
- Funny conversation, but can get deep, too.
- Tipping 20 percent, always.
- Emotional support water bottles. Here for the hydration.
We're the same type of weird if...
Have some nuance interests that you want to get out there? Here's your chance.What you can say:
- You're hitting up the Renaissance fair every time it comes to town.
- You're the person everyone wants on their trivia team.
- You enjoy 5Ks on Thanksgiving, too.