I'm so sorry but I'm tired of people pretending Cassie is a good person because she really wasn't and in my opinion she was worse than Tony
this is in no way me trying to say that tony wasn't a bad person cuz he was but he was less of a bad person
also btw im not saying that she had a eating dissorder for attention or that her eating dissorder was fake. eating dissorders are very hard and its sad what she was going through but there are some things that have to be said about it
tony was a bad guy but he had his moments and avengely became a better person, he learn from his mistakes and bettered himself but sadly i cant say the same about cassie
when we first meet her in episode one she seems like this funny and nice girl with some problems. she was brought to a party to fuck sid so he would lose his virginity .this is kind of sad. even before we meet her there is said she had problems with eating which is later at the party further shown when she immediately went to the kitchen to sored every this to look at.
even in the first episode the drama starts, when on the trampoline with Sid she tells him that if he wants to fuck her he has to do it fast because she just took a lot of pills.she passes out and they have to steal a car to drive her to a hospital for to then when they get there her to be totally fine.
In episode 2 we find out what her living situation is, which is not ideal. Her parents are dismissive and only think about sex, but compared to the rest, she has one of the best home situations of the group. (this btw isnt her falt but i just wanted to point that out)
she asked sid out which he was clearly not into but he said yes. cassie reminds him of their date but sid tells her that he can't go because he is grounded, but that wasn't good anof for her she tells him the "iconic" line "i didn't eat for 3 days so i could be lovely" that is guilt tripping at its finest. its not her fault she has an eating disorder but using it to make people feel bad for you is just crazy. she asks him if she can come over any ways and he says it isn't a good idea but she comes over any way. to find that sid wasn't there. when he returns home she asks him where he was and he tells her he was with michelle (which was the stupidest thing he could of said at that moment and wasn't even the reason why he snuck out. she gets mad at him and slaps him (with in her defends it was a shitty thing of him to do). the next day she overhears sid calling michelle to make up, she gets up sad and tries to kill herself by overdosing but fails and ends up in a mental hospital. people gave sid the faule which is just not fair. in the Effy episode cassie and sid meet up at the cafe where they share a cute moment and kiss but than he gets a call from michelle because she is worried about tony and thinks he might need help he tells her he really needs to leave and cassie gets upset THIS is there lasts iteraction befor they move(accept for them meeting up on the park bench)....THIS was her reason to leave.....tony did need help and i was glad he did come. this was also the moment where tony realised that mabey somethings he does arent smart.
and dont get me started on season 2 her she was so mean to jal and why????.she was the reason why chris lost his house. she was also weirdly obsessed with chris even tho he had a girlfriend.she was so jealous of michelle and hated michelle even after sid and michelle broke up. when chris was in the hospital they told the doctors that she was his girlfriend. she was so rude about jal not telling chris that she's pregnant....like thats not any of your fucking business. jal is pregnant she decides when she tells him not cassie. then when cas and jal are in the hospital jal asks her what happened and she just ignores her. she finally tells jal that he took some pills but refuses to tell her what kind cuz "i dont tell him your secrets do i" like this isn't about secrets anymore hes fucking dying. she was the only one to be there when chris died and tried to call the hospital but when her phone didn't work she grabbed her stuff and left.not telling jal and not telling sid. just left. when her and sid where broken up she was sleeping with everyone she could find. overall she was a bad person. she had her redemption in season 7 but it was also minimal and soooo boring.
meanwhile after what happened with Effy, tony found out he was being a bad person and tried to change (but he got hit by a bus instead). ofc when he was recovering he mixed some things up like the thing with abigail but that wasnt his fault he just didnt remember eider abi or chelle so when abi told him "im your girlfriend" he ofc believed it. at the end he made up with every one and got back together with michelle. him and sid talked it out and the thing with maxxie was forgotten by him so never spoken about again.he did bad things but he always redeemed himself. the same can't be said about cassie. overal cassie was worse than tony , they were both manipulators but tony got a second chanse and took it and bettered himself. when cassie got that same chans she just looked at it and trew it in the trash
im fine with people who don't like tony i get it but what i don't like is that they than love cassie. she is so much worse and absolute the worst character of gen 1. but tell me your opinian

Update to this post: https://old.reddit.com/birthcontrol/comments/1ctn3bbirth_control_fixed_my_asexuality/?ref=share&ref_source=link
So, I dug up some medical records because I was curious. I had gotten multiple hormone tests (age 19 & age 23) because of persistent depression (I am now 27).
They showed that even though my estrogen was in a "normal" range, it was verging on the lowest it could be without dipping into abnormal, no matter the phase of the month. Same with progesterone; the specific urine test I did had a low range of 1450 during luteal, and I got an off-the-charts low 222. Testosterone was normal.
I then compared it with a blood test I happened to get while on the BC; estrogen was at normal ranges, and HGH was high (too high, which is why I discontinued it, but that also must have been driving my libido). Progesterone was normal.
The only thing I can think is, I had 0 sex drive my entire life because of low estrogen. I finally found a wonderful, handsome, incredible dedicated partner who I was unbelievably attracted to, and now I can't even stand how he smells or want to have sex with him unless I'm taking a pill. That's so heartbreaking I can barely stand it.

I’m 26 and I’ve been on birth control pills (combination pills, the lowest dosage) for 6 years now. Two months ago I found a small soft lump that hurts when pressed on my right breast, but the ultrasound came back normal. I continued to take the pill and the next month I felt that the breast tissue under the little lump thingy got kinda swollen compared to the other breast.
I noticed that the pain stopped when I was 2 days into the inactive pills and it came back around 2/3 days after I started the active pills in a new pack. For the 6 years I’ve been taking the pill I had no side effects so I suspect the onset of this breast condition is not directly caused by the pill, however the pattern shows that the pain is associated with using the pill. I’m scared if I continue taking the pill my breast will worsen, but at the same time also scared if I suddenly stop the pill my body’s natural hormone will be imbalanced and that will worsen the breast condition as well… I’m also worried about acne breakouts and hair fall from other people’s experience of getting off the pill.
I’d love to hear about similar experience as I try to make a decision. Thank you!!

I’m 26 and I’ve been on birth control pills (combination pills, the lowest dosage) for 6 years now. Two months ago I found a small soft lump that hurts when pressed on my right breast, but the ultrasound came back normal. I continued to take the pill and the next month I felt that the breast tissue under the little lump thingy got kinda swollen compared to the other breast.
I noticed that the pain stopped when I was 2 days into the inactive pills and it came back around 2/3 days after I started the active pills in a new pack. For the 6 years I’ve been taking the pill I had no side effects so I suspect the onset of this breast condition is not directly caused by the pill, however the pattern shows that the pain is associated with using the pill. I’m scared if I continue taking the pill my breast will worsen, but at the same time also scared if I suddenly stop the pill my body’s natural hormone will be imbalanced and that will worsen the breast condition as well… I’m also worried about acne breakouts and hair fall from other people’s experience of getting off the pill.
I’d love to hear about similar experience as I try to make a decision. Thank you!!

Hi lovelies! This is my experience on BC and I hope it will help someone.
Who I Am: I am 21F, with ADHD (take concerta 36mg), and lean PCOS. I have coarse and thick hair (compared to my East Asian family members who have nothing), and I struggled w/ a lot of acne growing up. I was an early bloomer.
I really like this pill! I was on Yaz but we decided to change to Yasmin due to my hot flashes. It has a very slight increase of estrogen in it.
3 Months on Yaz: - Regular periods :) - Period heaviness + cramps stayed the same. - Takes longer to get “wet” - 1/2 cup bigger boobs - More emotional during PMS (I've never just cried over things like cute cat pics before!) - Hot flashes - Energetic! - Gets more annoyed easily, I think. - Thinner + sparse body hair (it’s so weird!!) - Light acne 1 month in but it cleared up perfectly. - Grew a tiny tummy pooch
1 Week on Yasmin: - No hot flashes anymore
My doctor said I should come off immediately if I experience spotting, dizziness, or nausea on Yasmin as it is a sign of too much estrogen. I don’t have spotting or nausea/dizziness. Many people also report headaches but I’m generally fine!

So right now this is my treatment and numbers: (Been on TRT 2.5 yrs)
-Test Cyp 120mg/wk (40mg pin 3xweek)
-HCG (Pregnyl) 1300IU/wk (650IUx2week)
Free test: 1050 pmol/L (Reference 300-700 pmol) (Worst numbers before TRT - 118 pmol)
Total test 32 nmol/L (Reference 8-35) (Before TRT 5.8)
Estradiol 145 pmol (Reference <160) (Before TRT 20)
SHBG 20 nmol/L (Reference 10-55)
FSH <0.3 IU/L (Reference 1-18)
LH <0.3 IU/L (Reference 1-9)
Prolactin 8.1 ug/L (Reference 4-15)
So my Urologist I just got asked me about fertility, because with LH and FSH entirely gone, he believes I am totally infertile .I am going to jerk off in a cup in 3 days and get the real numbers, but I assume with LH and FSH completely gone, I am infertile.
I am 29, and I do not want kids at all right now. I don't have a partner and i am loving single life. But, I have no idea if in 5-10 years I end up meeting a nice girl and change my mind. In an ideal world i get to stay on the T and HCG and just pull off when i Need to for kids - but my uro thinks if I am on it that long,I will permanently kill fertility.
He would like to swtich me to 50 mg clomid 3x week and 2500 IU 3x week HCG (7500 IU a week total, huge dose compared to now) and then retest fertility in 3 months. He said I won't feel quite as good on clomid, but it will raise T levels still (Though very unlikely above 1000) and it will preserve fertility.
I feel so good on test cyp finally after so many adjustments. I am afraid clomid is gonna make me feel like hell to get fertility back which i don't really care about now, but may very well care about in the future. TRT takers of this subreddit, what would you do?

So right now this is my treatment and numbers: (Been on TRT 2.5 yrs)
-Test Cyp 120mg/wk (40mg pin 3xweek)
-HCG (Pregnyl) 1300IU/wk (650IUx2week)
Free test: 1050 pmol/L (Reference 300-700 pmol) (Worst numbers before TRT - 118 pmol)
Total test 32 nmol/L (Reference 8-35) (Before TRT 5.8)
Estradiol 145 pmol (Reference <160) (Before TRT 20)
SHBG 20 nmol/L (Reference 10-55)
FSH <0.3 IU/L (Reference 1-18)
LH <0.3 IU/L (Reference 1-9)
Prolactin 8.1 ug/L (Reference 4-15)
So my Urologist I just got asked me about fertility, because with LH and FSH entirely gone, he believes I am totally infertile .I am going to jerk off in a cup in 3 days and get the real numbers, but I assume with LH and FSH completely gone, I am infertile.
I am 29, and I do not want kids at all right now. I don't have a partner and i am loving single life. But, I have no idea if in 5-10 years I end up meeting a nice girl and change my mind. In an ideal world i get to stay on the T and HCG and just pull off when i Need to for kids - but my uro thinks if I am on it that long,I will permanently kill fertility.
He would like to swtich me to 50 mg clomid 3x week and 2500 IU 3x week HCG (7500 IU a week total, huge dose compared to now) and then retest fertility in 3 months. He said I won't feel quite as good on clomid, but it will raise T levels still (Though very unlikely above 1000) and it will preserve fertility.
I feel so good on test cyp finally after so many adjustments. I am afraid clomid is gonna make me feel like hell to get fertility back which i don't really care about now, but may very well care about in the future. TRT takers of reddit, what would you do?

So I'm currently on 1 mg a day of E (split over .5 mg twice a day). I've read about some of the positive affects of taking estradiol sublingually as opposed to swallowing it, but my estrogen in it's information packet is described as "oral". Oral usually means that you should just swallow it right? I really wish I could up my dose already, but I won't be able to for another month and a half, and if taking it sublingually could help a little bit more I would love to do that, but only if it's ok to, and I'm not fucking up my transition by improperly taking a pill I'm meant to swallow.

Hi, I know some of you have been interested in Joost’s written stuff, so this is one of them. It’s a short story that Joost wrote for Boekenweek voor Jongeren (Book Week for Young People) in 2019. There’s more info about it here (in Dutch) https://www.vice.com/nl/article/qvgzpv/joost-klein-schreef-een-kort-verhaal-over-een-wilde-nacht-in-berlijn and there was also this promo video for it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wx7wxnpxps0. It's been translated from Dutch - maybe not the most perfect translation but it's readable. Original in Dutch here. Enjoy

"How come he suddenly has cash?" I looked at Gurb, but he avoided my gaze. Louis never had money and yet he was buying another round. Meanwhile, a Moby song was playing and nothing made sense. "If he has money for drinks, he can surely pay me back, right?"
Just a few hours ago, I was alone in Berlin. Now, ten hours later, I'm standing in some obscure techno club with my best friends. Loud rock music with drunken shouting. "Hey, Miss Murder, can I make beauty stay if I take my life?" I woke up that day with a mild hangover from the lonely yet people-filled night before. Perfect conditions for a 20-year-old dropout.
The Hard Rock Café was the most beautifully ugly place in Berlin. Gurb had driven for seven hours straight in his mother's car, but we didn't notice. An iconic black Mini Cooper. Your body leads your mind, the beat never stops, and you can conquer the world. Louis threw in another crazy dance move. We were happy.
"Do you want another drink, brother?" Gurb asked me, half shouting. An evening filled with rhetorical questions. He saw me dancing and already knew the answer.
Gurb always had money. Louis, on the other hand, never did. Louis was also the youngest of us three. He had just turned 18. I wouldn't call him a cunning fox. More like a jack-of-all-trades. Like the time he made a lot of money on a Wadden Island with a group of boys. They sold large blocks of hash.
"Crazy dude!" I shouted at him. He yelled something back.
"Do you remember back then?" Louis said.
"Back then? Back then? Yeah man, of course!" I had no idea what he meant. "Do you mean the party?"
"Do you mean the party, he says! This guy. When I look at you like this, it makes me happy. The exact same kid is here letting loose just like back in high school!"
We knew each other from secondary school. He joined when I was in the second grade. He was very intelligent. Too young, too much knowledge of the world. His mother is from Brazil. We often went to his mother's place to play on the Playstation Louis and I had bought together.
I lived everywhere at that time. In the crisis shelter where I stayed for a while, for example, I wasn't allowed to have a Playstation. So we set it up in an accessible place, near school. It was always fun with Louis. Going together to the Apple Store. Taking all kinds of photos with all the webcams, posting them on Hyves, and then leaving. Louis always knew how to cheer me up.
"Aaaaaaaaaa!" There was Gurb with five drinks in his hands. Gurb was wearing a blue checkered shirt. Two buttons undone. Hair slicked back. "You look good, brother!"
"You look fresh too! We all look fresh!" Gurb said enthusiastically. Louis was wearing a completely white outfit. We quickly bought this before going out. He also bleached his hair.
"You look like the Brazilian cousin of James Dean in these clothes," I said. Louis laughed. "Let me take a picture."
Suddenly, the DJ switched to some kind of techno. "Ah, here Berlin briefly takes off its mask." I was fine with it all. Louis was talking to a lady.
Voluptuous breasts, I thought to myself. He gave her one of his two drinks.
"He's with a girl and he's thinking with his dick," I said to Gurb. "Let him be, tonight Berlin is ours!"
The bass kept pounding. "I simply don't have the patience for the club," I said to Gurb. He looked surprised. Like a sweet dog, tilting his head. "I'm just waiting for tomorrow. Can't do my thing here. Don't have patience for the already known. I want adventure and I want it now!"
Gurb started laughing. "Patience is a virtue." Yes. Patience is all well and good, but I think it's a waste of my time. Gurb grabbed my shoulder.
"I think it's time for another beer."
Louis and I were walking through Leeuwarden a year ago when suddenly a red Ford Ka stopped in front of us. It was Gurb, casually driving around the city. He invited us into his car. We hopped in. Since that afternoon, the three of us were together. A few months later, Louis got a tattoo on his ribs in honor of our friendship. It was the name of our group chat. Braddar Force Indigo.
There were also days when Gurb would take me for a drive around Friesland. He reminded me how beautiful Friesland is. The world doesn't spin there. The newspapers I threw away in the Stiens forest in 2011 could still be lying in the same spot, so to speak.
Just before midnight, I found myself in line for the restroom. My eyes fell on a pair of striking shoes. Cigarette smoke invaded my nose for the fourth time. "Müssen Sie eine Zigarette haben?" a female voice spoke to me. I felt like Tom Hanks in the final scene of Angels & Demons, where the new pope first steps onto the balcony. The curtains opened. There I was, witnessing an important moment in history. I was just told how I was sent by God, but my ears didn't want to hear any of it. At least that's how I felt. My mouth was empty. I had no words left. That's when I knew for sure. Berlin might really be as crazy as literally everyone says.
Dark blond, silky hair. Was this real beauty then? She wouldn't look 40, but I think she was. A true woman. Beautiful in all her elegance. I always joked about being interested in older women, but tonight one stood in front of me. "I don't smoke," I said to her.
Someone tapped me. "Please, just go to the toilet!" He was right. I hadn't peed in a while either. My urine was cloudy. "Glomerulonephritis," I said to myself on the toilet. This is an unusual condition. It's an inflammation in the kidneys, I thought I remembered. They should never have given me access to Google.
The evening progressed, and Louis kept buying rounds. "But seriously now. How does Louis suddenly have all that money for drinks?" I asked Gurb. He was outside smoking with a group of Swiss girls. I had strategically positioned myself so that I could always leave the crime scene if necessary.
"You shouldn't ask me," said Gurb. He was laughing with the temporary girlfriend group of Louis. Gurb has a beard. A lot of chicks like that. I get it too.
As much as I enjoyed Louis and Gurb being here for me, something didn't sit right with me. It couldn't just be about the money. "What's up with him?" I heard one of the Swiss girls say to Gurb.
Those kinds of questions really tire me out. "Not much, with you?" I replied.
They all started laughing. "That's not what she meant, brother," said Gurb.
"I couldn't care less whether she meant it or not. Send that brace-face back to Switzerland. Don't drive me crazy, alright!"
Actually, I hadn't drunk that much that evening. "Two vodka Sprites, please!" It's rare for me to get just one drink. "I always get two drinks, then you have to wait shorter for the third one!" Maybe the alcohol was affecting me more than I wanted to admit. Oh well, it was still the three of us against the world.
"Nice shoes, are those Prada?" I asked a random girl at the bar.
"No, these are fake. Why would I buy real ones for 600 dollars if I could just buy these for 20?"
"..."
I'm not very good at that. Talking. To women.
Louis and Gurb were in the smoking area now. It was less blue than the dance floor itself. My clothes already stank, so a visit to the smoking area couldn't hurt. "These people are so underground!" Gurb shouted. Louis was filming him with his phone. "These people..." There was a brief pause. As if Gurb forgot the only line he had. "...so underground!" All three of us burst into laughter. The alcohol flowed through our veins as if it came from the purest mountains. People seemed doubled and the room was full. We had been in the same club in Berlin for several hours.
"Leonardo! What are you hiding from the big boss?" I sometimes called Louis ‘DiCaprio.’ "You a rich guy, now?" I said, with an accent as if I were from the Bronx.
Louis started laughing. "Eh, you know nothing. Bullshit talk."
I had to laugh too. What was I even worried about? Friends are friends, with or without money. That shouldn't matter. Louis probably just worked for that money. Maybe it wasn't as bad as I thought. Maybe he just had enough to buy rounds. But what if my gut feeling was right? That feeling was never wrong. Except for that one time at the Holland Casino in Groningen. Even the best of us have slip-ups. I was just getting worked up again. When it comes down to it, Louis is one of the sweetest guys I know. I had to let it go. After all, it's still Louis.
"I think I'm going to have sex soon, man," Louis said.
"With who?" I asked immediately.
"That one girl."
"Which one?"
"The one with the boobs."
"Oh, her. Just be careful."
"What kind of reaction is that?" Louis asked indignantly.
I'd only had four drinks, but I was acting like a mess. Louis was right. I didn't understand myself. Where was my head at? I'm here in Berlin, supposed to be having the time of my life, but here I am feeling lonely and sad again. Joost once again couldn't control his emotions.
"Sorry," I suddenly said to Louis. "Sorry for my behavior. Been acting dumb towards you all night. It's unnecessary." Sometimes I have that. Mood swings. "Know that crime is never the solution. We've talked about this so many times. Yes, it's tempting and sometimes easy money. I sometimes find it amusing too, but it's always hypothetical. Ask me for help. I can help you, even with illegal things. I'll always have your back." The dancing was kind of over.
The words I had just placed on Louis's plate came from my heart. My Frisian, irregular boys' heart.
Crying in the club. I had never seen myself like that. Crying, yes. In the club, no. I never understood the taboo around crying. Or emotions in general. I saw myself in the mirror. They weren't tears of joy. They weren't tears of sadness either. It was me letting everything go. All the emotions I had ever felt. The emotions I felt between my brother and sister and myself because they wanted to take on a parental role over me, but I was in puberty, so I pushed them away. The emotions I felt when my old neighbors were supposed to take care of my dog, but didn't tell me that he was bitten by one of their dogs. They didn't have money for the surgery, they later told me. They were ashamed of their lack of money. My dog died from this injury. Even the emotions that were all jumping at once during the retake for my swimming diploma A, I let go of.
No emotions. Just for a moment, not feeling anything. Is that too much to ask for?
"You still don’t smoke?"
It had to be the voice of the woman with the cigarettes. I looked over my shoulder through the mirror. It was her. The one with dark blond, silky hair.
"Not to be rude, but this is the men’s room," I said. She took a step closer and kissed me on my lips. It tasted like more. We started kissing. It had been a while since I had had female contact at this level. It probably didn't look good and it didn't feel good either. She started kissing my neck. Slowly, I noticed the pressure in the erectile tissues of my penis starting to increase. "I really don't have time for this!" I thought to myself. The woman with the cigarettes started to slowly sink down until she was on her knees. I didn't want this. Not now, not like this. She unraveled my penis from my Polo Ralph Lauren underwear. Her tongue was blue. It was probably from cheap shots of alcohol.
Was this real beauty then? Was this the beginning or the end of her story? And had I become the boy my parents hoped I would be? I thought about the fact that this was once someone's little daughter. Somewhere in the world, an old man might be wondering what his daughter is doing. Am I really putting pleasure above my own morals and values?
With my semi-erect circumcised penis still exposed, I lifted her up. After giving her a kiss on her forehead, I pulled up my pants and left the toilets.
It was the usual last hour in any club ever. I met Louis and Gurb at the bar. "Should we have another drink?" I asked Gurb. "I feel like having a cocktail. Something sweet. Lots of sugar. What about you?"
Gurb looked at the menu. "A cognac would go down well right now."
"A cognac? You're only nineteen!" Gurb and Louis laughed. "Two Tequila Sunrises please!" I called to the bartender. "Also, two beers! Thanks!" I also got a beer for Louis. At first, I didn't want to, but I didn't want to spoil the mood either. Besides, I didn't want to show too much that it bothered me so much.
We danced away the last minutes. The club closed, and we decided to walk with the group of Swiss girls. Apparently, they were staying nearby.
As I lagged behind the group, one of them tried to start a conversation with me. "Are you okay?" she asked kindly.
"I'm fine. Just had too much beer. Makes me sleepy." Not true at all, but I've heard people say that.
"You’re tired? The fun has only just began!" And as she said this, she pulled something out of her inner pocket. Her clenched fist, shielded by a half jacket. Who is this girl, anyway? I thought to myself. She opened her hand flat, and right in the center of her palm lay two small pills with a smiley face on them. At least, they looked like it.
"Oh, I don’t do drugs. Sorry."
"Me neither!" And she swallowed a pill. "Now it’s your turn... Or are you scared?"
Scared? Who did this crazy Swiss witch (with really beautiful eyes) think she was. With her "are you scared". I'll show her who's scared.
"Scared? I’m not scared." I picked up the remaining pill and swallowed it.
Everything went in slow motion. Was this who I had become? Was this the same boy from high school? And just before I could swallow, I spat out the pill. She was shocked. I picked up the pill again, dried it with my jacket, and put it back in her fist. "Maybe later!" I shouted, running back to the group, over my shoulder.
I have nothing to say to 9 out of 10 peers I come across. Of course, I can be social. I can also have fun with random people in random situations, but that night, it just tired me out. I also didn't understand what we were doing there. Those girls found me strange anyway. Suddenly, I was the fifth wheel.
"We know this place where they go until 7 in the morning!" The girl leader of the group spoke. I wanted to go home. "If you guys want, you can go. Don't worry about me," I said to Gurb and Louis. The boys had a brief discussion. We agreed to stay for just a little while longer for some drinks. I consented. I was thirsty. "I'll have a Fanta, Louis."
Gurb had reached the last cigarette in his pack. Louis and a girl from the group were nowhere to be found. It didn't even bother me. This guy just walks around with some cash in his pocket and all hell breaks loose. After a night full of stimuli, I understood Louis. Of course, I understood Louis. He's a young god. Handsome, smart guy. But that didn't make me any less angry. It was purely about trust for me. Something inside me said I should stop subconsciously expecting things from people too. It prevents disappointment.
"Hotel please!" I jokingly suggested to Gurb. "Should you call Louis or should I?" I added. Gurb immediately grabbed his Android smartphone and called Louis. He put the call on speaker.
"Are you ready?" Gurb asked.
"Yeah. Sort of."
"What do you mean?"
"We didn't have sex."
"That's fine, right? Tomorrow's a new day!"
"I think I'm in love, man," Louis said.
"...," Gurb said, chuckling as he let out a sigh.
Once we arrived at the girls' hostel, it was already getting light. Louis was thankfully back. There were stains on his pants, around his knees. My focus was solely on arranging a taxi. Although the boys were still flirting, I was really done now. "How are we going to pay for this taxi?" I said a bit too loudly.
There was a silence. "Don't worry. I still have cash," Gurb said.
"Yeah, I knew you would," I replied.
My words clearly hit Louis. "What do you mean by that?" he said.
It was as if time stood still for a few seconds. "Exactly what I said. Better listen." Louis pulled out a small wad of green bills from his pocket. At least 400 euros. "I don't even want to see that money," I reacted. I walked away.
I'll just order a taxi myself.
"Why are you walking away now?" Gurb said.
"Twelve hours ago, I was alone too, and I had a lot more fun then."
"Do you really want to know how I got this money?" Louis said.
Yes, I did want to know. My whole evening revolved around that damn money.
He took a second of pause before he began speaking. "The answer lies in the Mini."
What on earth could be in Gurb's mother's car? Louis was trying to get into my head. "Taxi!"
Once in the taxi, the division was clear. Gurb was upfront, chatting animatedly with the driver. All adventures ever were recounted. Louis and I in the back. One of my best friends since I was thirteen. Funny how things turn out. It was quiet between us. I was in my head, rehearsing how I would bring up the money again. It didn't add up, and he knew it himself. "I don't care, you know," I said, hoping he'd break.
"What don't you care about?"
"About that money."
"What money? You're really a crazy woozy man." Louis burst out laughing again.
On the other hand, it was silent. Gurb had started talking about the driver's family. The driver didn't appreciate it. Gurb meant well. The driver smelled of alcohol. Or was it me? His nails were polished. Maybe his wife was a specialist. I bite my nails myself. Like now.
"In the Mini, oh yeah."
"Shut up. Illegal man."
"You'll never know."
"Stop playing. Just say it!"
Louis grabbed my head, pulled himself towards me, and brought his mouth to my right ear. "Why so serious?" he whispered. He didn't want to tell me.
"But always with this damn money, huh?" I almost shouted at Louis. I broke every silence within a radius of 10 kilometers.
"I'm trying my best, bro. It is what it is. I can't make it any different," he replied. It was clearly bothering him deeply. He ran his hands through his hair. "Sometimes people have to do things. And you know that better than anyone. Sometimes they have to do things they don't really want to or aren't supposed to do."
I knew this spiel all too well. Through all the drunken haziness, I suddenly saw a small glimmer of light. A tiny spark of sincerity. Louis was serious this time.
"I'm sorry. I didn't want to involve you in this. I'm sorry," sweat dripped from his forehead.
"You're serious, huh? Damn, man. What mess have you gotten yourself into now? Worse than Terschelling?" Worse than Terschelling would mean stolen goods. Maybe even violence.
"It's not what you think."
"The Adlon Hotel, right?" the driver chimed in. Always saved by the bell, that Louis.
Suddenly I hit my head against the seat in front of me. Of course, I wasn't wearing my seatbelt. The last thing I saw was Gurb waking up in panic from his drunken stupor. One by one, I started losing my senses. It started with the feeling in my fingers. For a brief moment, everything wasn't quite black, and I could only see a vague pattern of colors repeating inside my eyelids. You could compare it to the brief moment after the commercial break before the movie starts in the cinema. The movie was about to begin.
I knew I wasn't dying. At least not yet. Not like this. Not after an overall mediocre night out in Berlin. I found comfort in the image I forced myself to see. It was all in my head. There I was, unconscious.
I saw myself in a third-person point of view. It wasn't like I was actually leaving my body. More like there was a webcam hanging in one of the upper corners of the taxi.
As a child, I used to dream a lot about death. Nights spent awake.
At some point, I developed a kind of compulsive behavior. I kept swaying my torso from left to right with my hands under my head. It became almost like a workout before bedtime. Every night.
I called it dream shuffling. Just like I had learned to shuffle puzzle pieces or playing cards. Making things a little exciting for yourself. But what I almost never told anyone was that I was scared. I was afraid of burglars, who were very agile and muscular.
Especially afraid that they would murder me. I really wanted to know what death was like. It scared me.
These fear visions originated during an all-inclusive vacation in Turkey. I was 6 years old and already in bed. There was a big old TV in our hotel room, so I could secretly watch TV from bed. Every evening, my parents sat on the balcony. Here they discussed their day while enjoying a glass of alcohol. There was a Japanese animated series on TV. In the few seconds that I watched, I saw a scary creature climbing a sort of apartment complex via the balconies. The creature had hundreds of teeth and blond hair. It quickly entered to decapitate the people, then drained them and, as a final insult, robbed them. Dozens of carcasses of dead people were scattered around the apartment complex. The complex on TV resembled the resort where we were in reality, and the TV world merged with my surroundings. I became part of it. I saw people watching. No matter how loudly I screamed for help, they didn't react. The sun became very bright, and the people turned into nothing more than shadows. As the intensity of the sun increased, something became clear to me. These were not people. They had a sort of orange skin. Where I had previously thought it was their nose and mouth, it turned out that these shadowy figures did not have such physical features. They simply had three holes in their heads. The police tried to do something, but in vain. Since then, we always kept the light on in the hallway outside my bedroom. By rocking back and forth, from left to right, I could glance fleetingly at the beam of light under the door. That bit of light, escaping from the hallway into my room, gave me an advantage. It allowed me to stay one step ahead of the burglars. Pretty smart, right?
"From Jamaica to the world!
It’s just love. Why must the children play in the street?"
It was Bob Sinclar with "Love Generation" speaking to us through the taxi's speakers. We were stationary. I was conscious again, but I didn't feel alive at all. "How long was I out?" I asked Louis.
I could tell by his expression that he was relieved. Relieved that I was back. "One minute," he almost apologized. Louis gave me a pat on the shoulder. Gurb, on the other hand, was sleeping. He slept like a baby cub.
I put my right index finger on my forehead. It felt wet, but it wasn't blood. Blood feels different. Meanwhile, I kept hearing whistling.
"Be the love generation! Oh yeah!" It was still that same song by Bob Sinclar.
The earlier scent of alcohol had now been replaced by the smell of incense. It smelled like the same incense I had in my room. Sold to me as Tibetan 39 incense. I had bought it at a coffee shop in Rotterdam. I pulled up my notes on my phone. "Who lights incense in a CAR????" I let Louis read from my screen. He took the phone from my hands and started typing as well.
"Look at Gurb >>>" Gurb was so deeply asleep that his head drooped. His seatbelt held his torso in place, but his head ended up on the driver's shoulder. The man didn't mind. He didn't move. I made eye contact with the driver through the rearview mirror, and soon I found him. He winked at me.
We arrived at the hotel. Gurb awakened from his alcoholic hibernation. "Who's going to pay for the taxi?" I asked. Clearly rhetorical. I already knew I would take this one for the team, as usual. I refused to use Louis's money. It was uncomfortably quiet. "By card please," I said.
"I'll always protect you, Louis. You really need to know that. I care about you like my own little brother. I'll always try to help you. But you have to be honest with me. Can you do that?" Louis didn't hesitate.
"Yes. Yes, I can. I'll show you. It's really in the Mini." Meanwhile, the taxi driver's card machine indicated that I had insufficient funds. That couldn't be right. Maybe I had withdrawn too much that evening.
"I have cash in the hotel room," Gurb said to me. Gurb informed the driver in broken English that he would go get his cash. The driver agreed. Money is money, whether it comes now or later. As long as it feels good in your hands.
Louis and I got out of the taxi. "You're not going to light a cigarette now, are you?" Louis wanted to smoke. "Especially for stress. That's really for people who can't handle pain. You need to feel pain. Pain needs to brand you for the rest of your life so you finally learn not to do such stupid things." It fell silent again. My blood boiled. All pots were on the stove. I felt like Gordon Ramsay in the kitchen. "Show me then. Do it."
Louis remained silent and walked around the corner of the hotel. Towards the parking lot. I followed him. "You're not going to find much," said Louis.
"Why not? Are you a magician?"
"No. Just. Not much."
"So there's suddenly magically nothing in Gurb's car?"
"Stop. Get out. Get out of my head!" Louis shouted. Louis had had enough. He was done with the parade. Normally we dealt with hypothetical stories. Only this time it wasn't a joke. I was sure now. Louis had dropped his mask. The revolution had begun. The government had fallen and the dikes had broken. The people were in charge. "You shouldn't freak out like this. Always wanting more. Sweet boy, think about yourself."
After Gurb gave the money to the driver, he came to us. He had a smile on his face, lit a cigarette, and exclaimed, "Brothers!" Once with us, he hugged me. He started laughing. "Maybe I haven't been entirely honest either." Sometimes Gurb seemed like a 38-year-old man. In a positive way. He exuded confidence in a way I didn't often see. Affectionate, with a hint of authority.
We stood in the middle of a large parking lot. "Look. We've reached a point where I might not even care anymore. You guys are teasing me." It did matter to me. Maybe more than ever. I was supposed to be two steps ahead of them, but I couldn't figure it out. "I give up."
The delightful silence returned. Louis and Gurb looked at each other. "You guys win. Apparently, I'm not to be trusted as a friend."
From Louis's expression, I could tell he disagreed with this. "Not true. Come to the car."
We arrived at the car. Louis unlocked it and searched for the trunk button. Gurb had started his third cigarette. "It's a corpse, isn't it? Say it now. I can still help you. I can still help us. I can book a ticket for you. We can get you out of here," I said to Louis.
"Just wait. Nutcase."
"Why won't you accept my help?"
Louis started laughing nervously. Or at least it seemed that way. Perhaps a sly laugh too. Had Louis killed someone? "It's not a corpse. That can't be. You wouldn't be stupid enough to use their ID. You're smarter than that. So it must be something stolen. Haven't you found that button yet?"
Suddenly, we heard a click. Louis had found the button. Somewhere, I didn't want to know. Shouldn't I just trust Louis? Wasn't that the whole point of friendship?
Finally, the moment had arrived. I placed my right hand in the slot of the rear hatch. Something in me doubted. Still. I still doubted. Louis looked dead serious. "You wanted to know, didn't you? Then you also have to be man enough to accept it." Louis was clearly not joking. Or was he acting again? "Pussy," Louis said. I looked away. "You're afraid of what's inside, huh? You're afraid of the real Louis." He began to laugh manically. "Open that thing, man. Nutcase!"
I started laughing too. Why did I make such a big deal out of it? Sweat broke out from every pore in my body. It was even a bit damp in the no man's land between my scrotum and my anus. A tropical climate. It had been quite an adventure the whole evening. I took my hand off the rear hatch and first gave Louis a hug. Not some half-hearted birthday wish. No, a real hug.
"It's okay, buddy," Louis said to me. I had no idea what he meant by that. It fit the moment though.
It was really time now. I opened the rear hatch.
"Where is it?"
"In front of you," said Louis.
"In some secret compartment?"
There was nothing in the trunk. Absolutely nothing. An empty trunk. For an empty evening, in an empty Berlin, with an empty group of guys. I didn't get it.
"You won, man," I whispered. "You finally fucking done did it."
I couldn't believe my eyes. Empty? There was still nothing in the car. Louis just stood there. Emotionally, I was a wreck. I had felt every emotion this evening. Seen every color and smelled every scent. I was done. My body was ready. No longer needed. My mission was complete.
"But why did you do this?" I asked Louis, laughing.
He scratched his chin. It felt like the end of a bad movie.
"I sold our Playstation. Wanted to tell you only after I had sorted everything out again. I terminated my lease. Had some debts, and I also wanted to have some money for once. Once not empty-handed in the club. Once not dependent on my best friends. This is not who I am... I know how much that Playstation meant to you. It was ours together. I should have just told you."
"… and how does Gurb actually make his money?"

(I am SO sorry for the needed lengthy) Back Story & Context Leading To My Decision:
I (33F) have 1 sister, “Sam” (38F). Although we share the same parents, our childhood & the way we were treated was incredibly different. Mainly because Sam had always been favored & treated far better than me. A fact that Sam refuses to acknowledge to this day.
Before & after my parents got married, it was agreed upon that they would not have children, until one day my mother “Susan” (66F) came up with the bright idea that if she gave her parents (“Norma & Gene”) a grand-baby they would finally love her. She went off the pill without telling my father, got pregnant, then had Sam. To no one’s surprise, Susan hated being a mom. So she would ship Sam across the country to Norma & Gene’s constantly, so much so, they saw her as THEIR child. And they showered her with love that Susan never even got a taste of. This led to Susan being aggressively jealous & resentful of her child.
Years later, my dad was tricked again into having me to “save their marriage.” They divorced when I was 3. All Sam ever knew from Susan was neglect, emotional & mental abuse from Susan, which only became worse when she could use “favoring” me as another way to hurt Sam. This was NOT a secret in my family, resulting in maltreatment towards me (either subconsciously or intentionally).
Abuse toward Sam turned physical. My father was given full custody of her when I was 8, and I was left with Susan for the next 2 years until she decided she wanted to move to San Francisco because she “deserved” a more glamorous life. I do not remember the years living with Susan, but recently one of my closest friends (of 25 years) said to me I practically lived at her house & she barely interacted with Susan throughout the entirety of our friendship.
To make up for Susan being an awful parent, Norma & Gene would dote on Sam & shell out a lot of $$$ to give her a very nice life which includes but not limited to; taking her on luxury trips around the world (I was only invited on 1 in the times we lived together), Norma would write her lengthy letters to continue growing their bond, has had so much money spent on her such as down payment on her first house & paid for extravagant events such as majority of the bill for her $50,000 wedding @ 21yo, the rest my father paid for. The only time she worked before graduating with her degree was part time ONE semester in college then quit because it was “so tiring” to work & study. Want to guess who paid her bills & gave her an allowance the rest of the time? Compare this to me when I barley received a kind word. They offered me money ONCE in my early 20’s to pay off my credit card & medical debt I accrued in college as I had to pay all my own bills while working full time (I have been working since I was 15) and going to school full time. I am the only one in the family who worked in college, yet I am still the only one to graduate with honors. I accepted with the condition it would come out of my “inheritance.” I have never asked or been offered money since. I have paid for ALL my own bills since I left home @ 18 years old.
Despite the obvious disparities and constant hurt they put me through, I was an active member of the family who mainly kept her mouth shut. I attended family events unless I could not afford to go, I sent holiday gifts, called between 1-2x per month for an 1 hour+ phone call in which I most often bit my tongue unless it was to defend Sam as Norma & Susan did not agree with her parenting.
Something to note, in May 2021 my father had an accident that would lead to his passing in December 2021. The disagreements & Sam’s nastiness toward me after the accident and then his death further strained our relationship.
Fast forward to March 2023. An explosive incident at Susan’s home. Susan started berating Sam for not allowing Susan to take my oldest nephew cross country for a week. When Sam confronted her on the abuse she endured growing up, and will not subject her kids to that, Susan lost it. Not only did Susan say that Sam made that up (I have the court documents in my possession) she screamed at Sam until she began sobbing in ear shot of her 3 young kids, husband, and my step father. I stood up for Sam as always, which resulted in Susan screaming in my face “I don’t want a relationship with you” with Sam as a witness. I cut ties with Susan in that very moment, then made the family aware of my decision, and everyone, including Norma agreed to respect my decision which she later went back on.
By August 2023, my physical health that had been on a rapid decline since 2019 including 18 out of 23 (78%) of my spinal discs deteriorating without a known cause had become unbearable to manage + time I had to take off because of migraines & doctor’s appointments, I had to quit my corporate desk job. I had enough money saved to tide me over for some time, but as any US adult in their 20’s & 30’s know, it’s been rough the past few years, add in physical disabilities & limited mobility + regular migraines, I was running low on money & needed help. So at the end of December, at the encouragement & insistence of my aunt “Elizabeth” (61F & Susan’s sister) who I had become quite close with over the past few years, I went to Norma & Gene to ask for a LOAN. They had donated $25,000 to Sam’s place of worship on her behalf a few months prior, offered to buy Sam & her husband a house the year prior, paid for Elizabeth’s bills & expensive lifestyle for the last year when she was soul searching on what line of work she wanted to do next, this was after putting a down payment on Elizabeth’s new $470,000 condo + $70,000 of renovations it needed, not to mention the literal hundreds of thousands of dollars that they have given Susan over the years just to pay off her credit card debt (none of which is coming out of their inheritance might I add) she assured me they would absolutely loan their granddaughter with serious health issues money. Elizabeth would talk to them personally about it, just to seal the deal while Sam would help me find cheaper alternatives to my current necessities such as Medicaid.
I make the request, and to my surprise they are more than happy to help me with a loan. But one week later & their phone calls with Susan, they say by email they “love me but cannot continue to financially support my poor decisions.” I call Elizabeth who says, it was not in her best interest to talk to them about helping me as I am “worthless to this family and society while being disabled.” Then adds that she will not let her “mental health deteriorate just to emotionally support me.” I then immediately reach out to Sam who does not even have the guts to talk by phone only text, and says she called Susan to explain my circumstance but “wasn’t going to argue or pick a fight” to help me and that she is sorry that that she “can't show up for me the way I want her to because she needs to maintain her own mental health, relationships and boundaries.” She also threw in that I have “made up this narrative in my head” that they treat her & I different, that she is treated better. This is literally in the same conversation where I already listed how she was treated better.
That day I fully cut contact with Norma, Gene, and Elizabeth. I told them they will not be hearing from me again, and I will not be attending theirs or Susan’s funeral. And I stopped speaking with Sam for the time being. Ironically, what led us to speaking was last month (April 2024) I had begun working on an article about going No Contact with family members. I asked if I could discuss her childhood abuse in a few sentences as part of the article. She agreed and offered to give me quotes. I accepted then interviewed her. From there we began rebuilding our relationship.
Then Wednesday, May 8, Norma passes. I do not attend the funeral that happened on Friday, May 10. My two cousins who I have become very close with in the last 6 months understood why, and supported my decision. I made it clear to Sam, who told Susan I would not be attending and I had made it clear in January that when the time came, I would l not be attending their funerals. Which clearly they saw as an empty threat. But even though I did not go, I continually checked in with them & Sam to ensure they were okay. Not once from Wednesday to yesterday (Tuesday) did Sam reply to a single message. As I was concerned about this, I reached out yesterday morning. She replied in the afternoon. I was incredibly hurt by her very lengthy message. Here are 2 excerpts that led me to full NC.

1. “Your perspective on the situation was clear, you werent coming to be with the family and you arent grieving [Norma’s] death at least in the conventional sense. I had to be the one to answer from most of the family why you werent there, it was incredibly awkward and uncomfortable for me.”
2. “Since late January/Early February things have already been really strained between us. I know that most that comes from my point of view and actions were really hurtful to you. I hate that I hurt you and Its been difficult for me to reconcile that I can't show up for you the way you want me to while also maintaining my own mental health, relationships and boundaries.”

She continually says that she cannot show up for me the way I need without affecting her mental health, jeopardizing her relationship with Susan, Gene or Norma, crossing boundaries (boundaries she never clarified or explicitly said to me ONCE) and I am not someone that would ever want to hinder someone else’s life by my presence or cause inner turmoil by associating with me. I let her know this and said I will stop trying to cultivate a relationship and I will step away for good. I said it as kind as possible, taking an hour to craft a message that can only be seen as kind. I told her if she responds I will not be reading it.
I work very hard to stay positive as it’s just me to lean on. When there is something eating at me emotionally, it will drain my energy & have me spiral until it is resolved. I did not want to waste another moment feeling hurt especially when I wasted hours being angry & upset after receiving her text before crafting my reply.
My dad always preached that Sam is “far more sensitive” than me & needs to basically be treated with kid gloves despite her being almost 5 years older (he held this stance until his passing). He would have surely wanted me to apply that rule to this situation by waiting a few weeks to cut ties once she had time to process her grief. As Norma was the closest person to a loving mother Sam consistently had, I cannot help but compare it with my experience of losing my dad. If someone who always supported me esp. with any family issues, cut contact the same week he passed, it would have added a whole other layer of devastation & loneliness to an already difficult time
So, I am torn on whether it was right of me to put myself first or if I should have done what I am known & expected to do which is making Sam’s feelings the priority over mine.
ADDITIONAL ADVICE REQUESTS: 1. If anyone else has gone through a similar situation or has no immediate family, how do you handle it when having to discuss it with others? Such as explaining it to a new S/O’s, or the least complicated version to their family members or my friends who do not know the full back story but will eventually pick up on me not mentioning my sister or my nephews & niece. 2. If anyone is not able bodied or is limited to working options due to health, what you do for your full or extra income (outside of any government assistance)?
TY to all who comment &/or upvote!☺️

i started hrt about a month ago officially and I’m pretty worried about my dosage. I’ve had a few changes but they were mostly mild I think, im not really good at judging this stuff especially because I’ve been recovering from an ed at the same time and I can’t tell which side effects and changes are possibly from what (Ik it’s not ideal but Its not like I have that much control over it). Anyway I was put on only one pump of 0,5 mg transdermal estradiol per day plus 100 mg of spironolactone which from everything I’ve seen seems like a very low dose??
I know some say it’s best to start slow and then go up anecdotally but this seems way too low for anything. And I know gel is variable from person to person but I’ve never seen anyone be put on this low of a dose and if that’s the case I feel like my next appointment should be sooner than 3 whole months later.
I’ve been taking for most of the time 0,75/1mg every night applied in rotation to inner upper arms and inner thighs and 100mg of spiro each morning and I wonder if I should stick with 1mg at least until my next appointment and maybe slowly lower my dose back to 0.5 some time before? I don’t have access to blood tests before then
Also if so, if I should be spreading my dose throughout the day with 2 pumps one morning one at night rather than just one at night. I know levels with gel peak after a few a hours and then slowly drop off which would leave me with practically no sex hormones for most of the day assuming the spiro is blocking t enough. Honestly I think I’ve been experiencing some brain fog, mood swings/low mood and more fatigue lately, and an increase in libido compared to pre hrt(?), but again I can’t tell from what it could be because I’ve been going through a lot at the same time.
Also I don’t know if it’s just placebo or something, but it seems like I feel more energized and with more mental clarity a few hours after I apply the gel, even if it’s late at night and I’d rather it last the whole day. srry if this is long

I had the most amazing experience in a medical setting, and I wanted to share it with a group that will be excited for me.
I went in yesterday around noon to check in. My boyfriend came with me, and they gave him a number to track where I was at on their giant tv in the waiting room. After an hour of waiting in the waiting room, the called me back to pre op. Got changed and climbed under some blankets that had warm air blowing under them. I answered some questions for the nurse, talked to the some other folks who were going to be assisting in my surgery.
I usually have terrible anxiety when it comes to needles. I mentioned to by surgeon that IVs are really scary for me and have had painful experiences both times I’ve had them. I was offered a shot to numb the back of my hand for the IV and it was so easy! The other nurse who I spoke with earlier popped her head in after and said “oh wow! That was quick!” And then looked at me “I’m so sorry. I should have been there to hold your hand!” Which I thought was super sweet. Then they grabbed my boyfriend from the waiting room while I signed all my forms, got my meds, went pee, and he got to meet my surgeon.
Finally, it was time for me to be wheeled back to surgery and him to go back to the waiting room. Once we started passing by other operating room, I started to feel the nerves. The operation room was huge with a big monitor with my all my relevant health info and bright lights. I scooted on to the table while they hooked up my arm and leg blood pressure cuffs, put a heart rate monitor on my earlobe, and gave me some oxygen before I got knocked out.
When I woke up in recovery, they gave me back my glasses and once I was more alert, the grabbed my partner. I was so happy to see him and cried a little bit. They gave me some oxy and gave me my meds to go home with and went over the discharge/home care info with my partner. They even sent me home with a couple of pictures! (My surgeon/OBGYN said it’s never too early to plan out the Christmas cards). The post op nurse had my boyfriend pull his car up while I got dressed and then I got wheeled out to his car. Of course the loading zone was packed so he had to park in the furthest end. Getting wheeled over there was the most painful part, going over those lines in the sidewalk felt like going over super tall speed bumps. But as we were driving home, the pain meds kicked in and I felt fine.
My boyfriend dropped me off and then got us some food and we relaxed on the couch. I could definitely feel my pain meds wear off, and kept timers to rotate and remember my rotation of meds. Other than that, my pain has been very well managed. Slept pretty well, even with the round the clock medication wake ups.
I definitely feel more tender today and have some good brushing around my incision below my bellybutton, but compared to my cramps I’m used to, this is a walk in the park! I notice that walking around and moving feels better on my incisions, and getting out of bed is probably the most “painful” part, but not too bad.
I am still in awe that I got this done finally! No more pregnancy tests or plan B if I forgot my birth control. I’ve opted to continue my birth control pills to manage my horrible never ending period, but now I don’t have to worry so much if I forget a pill. I truly thought this day would never come. I requested 3 weeks off dispute the recovery time typically being 2 since my job is so physical and mentally draining (ironically enough, I run a child are program) and was approved! I’m going to enjoy the next three weeks laying in bed with my dogs and not doing a whole lot else.
ETA: already reached out to the mods about adding my OBGYN who preformed my procedure. When we were going over the procedure, she asked me if I heard about this subreddit and the list of doctors (she had heard about it on TikTok) and I told her I actually tried to find a doctor on there that took kiaser but couldn’t find one that was taking patients and when I was trying to find an OBGYN off of the list. She mentioned that everyone in her practice would be more than willing to sign off on the procedure as long as they had thought it out, knew that it was permanent, and wanted it. She also joked about how she didn’t want to be on a list because she’s super busy, but whoops! She is truly the best doctor I’ve ever worked with, so I can’t not recommend her. Even my boyfriend thought she was amazing.

Finally diagnosed with PCOS and all the symptoms I have been experiencing is making sense now. Hormonal acne, hirsutism, anxiety, and vaginal dryness. My vaginal dryness is so bad that my OBGYN has tried to everything she could think of to fix it. I did estradiol cream, estrogen pills, and birth control. I’ve been taking Metformin for about 3 weeks and I’m still bone dry down there. Even if I’m aroused or when I orgasm it’s still dry. Any tips or anyone else experiencing this?

First, I want to say I am happy to have found this supportive group. I don’t have anyone to talk to about this specific issue, so please bear with me it is a lengthy post.
I was probably about 7 years old. This was the early 2000s, so me and my sister would steal my dad’s flip phone we thought it was the coolest thing. Then we would find messages with his friends that would say things like “it’s get you a new gf day” along with a nude photo of a woman probably too young. there had been multiple nude photos that we had found. Even one time a video played with a loud pornographic sound. My parents are still married so even back then my sister and I felt badly for my mother. He had also mentioned to my mom in front of us all (me about 13) how he had been to a local specific topless bar a “long time ago” when my sister and I were toddlers. Again, I just felt horrible for my mom as the sinking feeling made itself a home in my gut to this day.
When I was 14 I started dating my first bf we dated for four years. I would feel sick and just worthless because of the movies we would watch. They would have nudity and he would make comments on the actresses. Even comparing me to some. His entire family would. He mentioned this to his mom and she told him I was young and insecure. I was pressured into sending him nudes or else he would watch porn and then blame me for it. I remember the rush of emotions, that sinking feeling when I would find even “innocent” photos of girls at school in his phone or porn in his search history. When we would go to the movies I was always on edge. I would search on those sites that go through the parent’s guide of nudity so I could prepare myself or convince to watch something else.
I dated another guy at 19. When were first together he told me he had never had an orgasm through sex and frequently struggled getting it up. It eventually went away but our sex life wasn’t healthy and we ended things. However, when I was about 20 I started dating a guy let’s call him David. David was the sweetest man. I felt so safe with him. We had an amazing sex life. I never had to worry about anything relating to porn or women around him at all. When I was about 22 I made a new friend let’s call him Jack. Jack and I were good friends nothing more. Until, two years into our friendship I fell “in love” with Jack. This caused me to end things with David. For the first year (we were separated for about 7 months) we never had penetrative sex. During the first couple of months, he told me he didn’t want his ED to negatively affect me. I thought because my ex was having issues and I understood it had nothing to do with me I would be fine. I went through our relationship believing it was ED. which turned out to be half the truth. I also believed his alcohol addiction and unhealthy lifestyle had something to do with it.
The part that sickens me the most is that we were friends first for two years, he told me he loved me and then destroyed me with his addiction. While we were friends shifting into a romantic relationship I would be grossed out by his prior use of strip clubs once spending thousands of dollars. Especially because in our relationship he would complain about spending money on me. He would always check out other women when we were together. It made me feel like I just wasn’t enough. One time on YouTube it was a video of this couple, the woman was doing her thirst trap thing with her butt and he said “We know why he’s with her” “She worked for that… you turn” I was so upset because I had already been insecure about my butt and into fitness for almost a decade, and dealing with body dysmorphia. Another time me, him and his friend were at a grocery store (this is the time of our budding romance) they pointed out how good this girl's butt was and followed her for a couple of isles claiming she wanted it to be seen.
I feel so stupid and ashamed typing this, the thought of getting into a relationship with a guy displaying this behavior WITH ME BY HIS SIDE. fast forward to six months later, 1.5 years into a relationship, 3 years of friendship. I’m now 25, he is 28. Still no sex. He told me he thinks his hormones are balanced and I honestly felt bad for him and encouraged him to talk to his doctor. He started taking the blue pills they kinda worked, but not really. I would talk about how I felt with my male therapist. I also felt very isolated almost because the honeymoon phase was ending he didn’t even want to cuddle.
We lived together at this point. My therapist told me he may have a PA, he may be lying to you about it. I thought no way because I had been looking through his phone frequently from a general lack of trust. I did ask him multiple times he would of course deny it. He would always be looking at thirst trap comments on Snapchat and YouTube. Even commented on one of my friends once “It was a joke”. I would tell him multiple times I did not like our sex life and it can’t continue like this.
I swear your PA may lie, but the algorithm doesn’t. I remember I got this TikTok on my FYP. The guy who in his videos starts by saying “Oh you want to know another disgusting secret about men” he talked about lying PA. I knew at that moment that’s what it was.
On the commercials for my favorite show, WWE commercials would come on. Women with makeup, hair and lingerie and I noticed he would always stare. I thought I was just making this in my head until once he made the comment that “he used to find them attractive when he was younger and that they are hot.” A couple of months ago we went on a trip. He would be sitting next to me just scrolling through YT reels of thirst content thinking I am blind. The first time we had sex he would buy my lingerie and I would go put it and makeup on while he was in the other room I noticed when I came out he had been on his phone. He was ALWAYS on his phone. I knew in my heart it was from watching porn bc he was hard. He claimed it was bc he was thinking of me. This happened a couple of times. I knew the truth but I ignored it because I craved intimacy.
The scrolling on Yt shorts happened again one night, his algorithm was just thirst trap after thirst trap including WWE clips. I was so stressed I knew I was not going to sleep the night. I planned to wake up and go through his phone while he was asleep. When I did, I found him on Reddit pages with porn of WWE women. Emails saying he signed into adult websites the date and times right before we would have sex. Even an article on the best VR sets for porn. I thought wow he’s really thinking of investing this amount of money when he can’t even invest in our relationship. My heart shattered into the glass, glad that continued to cut me. I never felt so disrespected or taken for granted, like I was never good enough before. I cannot believe someone who says they love me more than ever would gaslight me so hard.
The next day we were out at a restaurant he asked what was on my mind since I had been acting differently. Me: “ I’m going to ask you a question I’ve asked you before but this time you’re going to tell me the truth” Jack: immediately “no” I asked him to think again before you answer, why are you lying to me he kept denying it until I said why are you so comfortable lying to me. He said I’m not. Maybe I used it too much before in the past. I said I don’t trust you and I have no mental peace with you this thing between us cannot continue.
…Y’all this is all while he was trying to get me to move across the country with him!! The next morning we talked about it and I told him how he crushed me and how I went through his phone and after I said that, he then started feeling very bad, even shedding tears. Looking back it’s as if he knew that I knew I wasn’t crazy.
It sucks because I feel I will always love him and leaving was the hardest thing I had to do. I still go back and forth about my love for him it’s always love and pure hate. Half of the time I want to call him and tell him exactly how much he destroyed my mental health. I still always scan my surroundings, and the media around me. I still compare myself to every woman because I am used to him checking out everyone. He would say it takes nothing from me but it does. I’m tired of people saying that it’s insecurity if you want your man to only have eyes for you and make excuses.
I know this was not the case when I was with David it was never like this. I felt empowered and loved. Now I have begun to get back together with David but I feel like I am carrying all this baggage from Jack's pa. David is against this type of behavior and even talks about how it is disturbing how porn is so prevalent everywhere ( he doesn’t know about the pa with Jack or my past). I feel like I am soo disgruntled towards men (Dad included) even though David is innocent and probably the best man I’ve ever had in my life. My mental health decline from not trusting my gut is painful.
Thank you for reading and your support. I wish you all love and light.

Hey everyone! New to this sub.
I (21F) have a tendency to get sick every 2-3months and for that sickness to stay for way longer compared to my partner (who I, of course, always infect too). It is usually nothing serious, but it does take me out for a week. Right now I am fighting off a terrible bactetial infection and taking many different medications daily just to keep it in check.
I just feel so confused because I have informed myself and have followed all the advice I could find. I eat healthily (already did as a vegan, but now I cut out nearly all the crap from my diet), exercise at least 5 times per week (many strenght training sessions plus one run plus some rope climbing and cycling). I have finally managed to fix my sleep schedule and get 8h of sleep consistently. I even take the stupid vitamin C pills my Dad buys me cause he claims they have helped him stay healthy.
Is there anything else I can try? I am just tired of everyone in my family making remarks about how often I get sick and would love to have more quality time in my life. Last year was especially terrible because I managed to get sick 3 times within just the summer holidays.
Any help would be appreciated!

I have pcos and I'm m suffering from acne and the only effective way to get rid of acne for me is to take birth control. I went to the dermatologists, they gave me epiduo, it doesn't work that much compared to taking birth control pills, however I don't like the side effects of the pills. I always feel sad and very moody. What were some effective ways that you tried that got rid of your acne?

I've read some similar experiences about valdoxan causing anxiety. I started taking this as an alternative for ssri (sertraline) because i couldn't take its side effects. The first time i took it was last year and it was amazing! Compared to ssri's, this had like no side effects at all. But i stopped because i also stopped taking to my psychiatrist, which meant i got no prescription. I didn't take it for some months.
A month ago, i started taking it again but after half a 25mg pill, i started shaking. Now i'm taking the full 25mg pill. I thought the shaking and nausea would stop once i got used to it but i still shake, feel nauseous, palpitate, have shortness of breath, chest pain, fatigue and anxiety! I didn't have anxiety before. I started taking antidepressants because i was depressed. My anxiety has been through the roof this past month that i even think that i could like die next week or something. Should i stop now or would my system get used to it eventually? I do like my body clock now but the other effects are too much.
I kinda don't wanna bring this up with my psychiatrist because i think she's just gonna prescribe me a different medication. I just wanna stop taking meds now because from what i know, valdoxan causes like the least side effects so i don't think i can handle the others 🫠

BerbaPrime Berberine offers notable benefits in blood sugar regulation and metabolic enhancement, making it a viable option for those looking to manage diabetes-related symptoms or improve their metabolic health.
However, its effects on weight loss and appetite control are somewhat moderate, and it may not live up to the expectations set by its strong marketing claims, which can feel a bit hyped up.
For weight management & appetite suppression, I would rate it at 3/5.
For those specifically seeking more effective appetite suppression and weight loss, alternatives like PhenQ or Instant Knockout, which contain glucomannan—a soluble fiber that promotes a feeling of fullness—might provide more direct and noticeable results in these areas.
In my opinion, these alternatives are better designed to tackle weight management more robustly by directly suppressing appetite and enhancing metabolic rates than Berbaprime alone.
If you're exploring Berberine as a supplement to manage your blood sugar and potentially cut down on your appetite, here's my honest scoop from firsthand use. It works along similar lines as Metformin by affecting the same metabolic pathway, which is a big plus if you're familiar with diabetes treatments.
However, it's gentler on the stomach compared to Metformin. But keep in mind, if you're already on Metformin, adding Berberine could be overkill, so it's crucial to consult your doctor first.
Also recommend this article on Medium on recommended berberine supplements.
I've noticed some immediate effects, like a bit of a loose stool at first, but this side effect tapered off pretty quickly. More importantly, it significantly cuts down my appetite, although NOT as strongly as other potent appetite suppressants.
This was a real game-changer for me, especially during mid-day cravings that used to be my downfall. If you're on a specific diet like keto, it might be a boon for managing those pesky carb cravings, making it easier to stay on track with your dietary goals.
Lastly, not all Berberine supplements are created equal. I switched to a dihydroberberine form from a slow-release tablet, which was more effective and way easier on my gut compared to the standard Berberine HCL capsules that gave me a hard time with stomach pain.
This type of Berberine is more bioavailable, meaning you get more bang for your buck at lower doses.
If you're juggling other medications, especially statins or thyroid meds, heads up—Berberine could mess with their effectiveness. Always discuss with your healthcare provider before starting it, treat it like any other serious medication, because it really can impact your health regimen significantly.
Nopal cactus or Glucomannan based weight loss pills seem to have much better safety profile, so if you’re looking for better & safer solutions, stick to those.

Introduction
If you are on the lookout for a natural way to suppress your appetite and aid your weight loss efforts, you might have come across BerbaPrime Berberine. This supplement boasts a high-strength Berberine HCL at 97% concentration, each dose delivering a hefty 1500mg.
What sets it apart from other berberine brands is not just its strength, but also its claims of supporting a healthy metabolism, managing cholesterol levels, and keeping blood sugar in check.
All these features sound great, especially if you are trying to manage or prevent issues linked to metabolic health. But let's take a look into what it's like using BerbaPrime daily, from a real user's perspective.

Pros & Cons of BerbaPrime Berberine as a Natural Ozempic Alternative

Pros:

• Blood Sugar Control: Highly effective in regulating blood sugar levels, mimicking some of the glucose-management effects of Ozempic.
• Metabolic Health: Activates AMPK, supporting improved metabolic processes and potentially aiding in weight management.
• Inflammatory Response Reduction: Offers anti-inflammatory benefits that can enhance insulin sensitivity and overall metabolic health.
• Gut Health Support: Positively impacts the gut microbiome, promoting a healthier digestive system which is essential for overall metabolic health.
• Safety Profile: Generally well-tolerated with a good safety profile, manufactured in facilities that follow high-quality standards.

Cons:

• Limited Energy Boosting: Does not significantly enhance energy levels, which may affect motivation for increased physical activity.
• Moderate Appetite Suppression: Less effective at directly suppressing appetite compared to Ozempic, impacting its efficacy in weight management.
• Variable Weight Loss Results: May not directly lead to significant weight loss, with effects on weight being less consistent and less pronounced.
• Initial Digestive Discomfort: Some users may experience gastrointestinal side effects such as stomach upset, especially when beginning the supplement.

Evaluation of BerbaPrime Berberine as a Natural Ozempic Alternative
1. Blood Sugar Regulation: 4/5 BerbaPrime Berberine effectively aids in stabilizing blood sugar levels, mimicking some of Ozempic's effects, due to its potent berberine content which activates AMPK, an enzyme crucial for glucose metabolism. Alternative: Cinnamon supplements are another natural option, known for helping to improve insulin sensitivity and lower blood sugar levels.
2. Appetite Modulation: 3/5 While BerbaPrime Berberine can help stabilize blood sugar, which indirectly aids in controlling appetite, it is less effective at directly suppressing hunger compared to Ozempic. Alternative: Glucomannan, and Nopal cactus are dietary fibes, that might be more effective in creating a feeling of fullness, helping to reduce overall calorie intake.
3. Metabolic Enhancement: 3/5 BerbaPrime Berberine activates AMPK, which can enhance metabolic health by improving how the body uses energy, though its impact may not be as substantial or immediate in terms of boosting calorie and fat burn as Ozempic. Alternative: Green tea extract, which contains catechins and caffeine, has been shown to increase metabolic rate and fat oxidation.
4. Energy Optimization: 2/5 BerbaPrime Berberine may support better glucose utilization, which can indirectly contribute to increased energy levels; however, it does not directly enhance energy in a noticeable way that supports increased physical activity like Ozempic might. Alternative: Coenzyme Q10 (CoQ10) supplements can boost energy by enhancing cellular energy production, particularly beneficial for increasing vitality and endurance.
5. Weight Management Support: 3/5 BerbaPrime Berberine can aid in weight management by improving metabolic health and reducing insulin resistance, which helps in the fat reduction process, but it may not directly cause significant weight loss. Alternative: Nopal cactus, Glucomannan, Garcinia Cambogia. Garcinia has been popular for its hydroxycitric acid content, which can reduce appetite and inhibit the production of new fats, offering more direct support for weight loss.
6. Safety and Tolerability Profile: 4/5 BerbaPrime Berberine is generally safe for most individuals when used as recommended, with its high-quality manufacturing practices ensuring product purity and safety. Some users may experience gastrointestinal discomfort initially, but it is typically well-tolerated. Alternative: Magnesium supplements are well-tolerated and offer numerous health benefits, including better blood sugar control and reduced insulin resistance, with minimal side effects.
7. Inflammatory Response Reduction: 3/5 BerbaPrime Berberine has anti-inflammatory properties that can contribute to reduced systemic inflammation, potentially improving insulin sensitivity and metabolic health. However, its effectiveness in significantly lowering inflammation compared to direct anti-inflammatory supplements is moderate. Alternative: Turmeric, especially when combined with black pepper (which enhances absorption), is highly effective at reducing inflammation due to its active compound curcumin, and it supports overall metabolic health.
8. Gut Health Improvement: 3/5 BerbaPrime Berberine can support gut health by modulating the gut microbiota, promoting the growth of beneficial bacteria, and reducing the population of harmful ones. While it offers some benefits, it may not be as potent or direct in improving overall digestive health as other specialized gut health supplements. Alternative: Probiotics are a direct and effective choice for enhancing gut health, improving digestion, nutrient absorption, and can also positively impact weight management and metabolic health.

Quick Summary

Luma Nutrition Berberine offers a high dosage of berberine hydrochloride aimed at supporting weight loss, appetite control, and blood sugar regulation. However, user feedback reveals mixed results, with some experiencing significant benefits while others report no effect or adverse side effects such as gastrointestinal distress and dizziness.
I think overall, it's a decent berberine supplement for various berberine related health effects.
But given the variability in effectiveness and the potential for severe side effects, it appears that Luma Nutrition Berberine may be overly hyped, especially for those looking for consistent and safe results in weight management and metabolic health.
For appetite suppression & weight loss, I'd rate it at 3, I'd rather recommend something like PhenQ and Instant Knockout for appetite management & weight loss (both are better appetite suppressants than Luma), while Blood Sugar Optimizer does a better job in blood sugar management , being my top pick as (Berberine + Ceylon cinnamon supplement).
Introduction
If you've stumbled upon Berberine while searching for natural supplements to aid weight loss or control appetite, you might be curious about what it actually does.
Berberine is a compound found in several plants that is often used in traditional Chinese medicine. It’s known for its potential to impact blood sugar levels and improve metabolic health. Recently, it's also been gaining attention as a weight loss and appetite control aid and as a natural supplement that cna have some ozempic like effects..
Luma Nutrition is just one of many brands offering Berberine, but they promote their product with some pretty appealing features like being all-natural and vegan-friendly.
If you're curious about trying Luma Berberine, especially for controlling blood sugar and cholesterol, it might do some good.
Now different people have different kinds of expereinces with Berberine.

From my own year-long experience with berberine, not Luma specifically but a similar product, I found that it really helped with things I wasn't even targeting initially—like my chronic migraines pretty much vanished, and to my surprise, my thinning hair got thicker. It also worked wonders for my sleep; I can pretty much clock out the minute I hit the pillow and get a solid 7.5 hours without a hitch. But don't expect miracles in weight loss—I didn't shed pounds, and frankly, it didn't make a dent in my appetite at all.

Now, it's important to talk about how you might feel when starting out and as you continue.
Early days, you might notice some mild stomach issues like gas because your body's getting used to it.
Berberine is tough to absorb, so take it on an empty stomach, about 30 minutes before you eat, to get the most out of it. Luma is no exception!
As time goes on, if you don't give yourself breaks from it, you might see some downsides.
For some people , taking it continuously may lead to some sexual dysfunction and mess with gut health, so I switched to a schedule—500 mg once daily for five days a week and then a break every few weeks.
This routine keeps the side effects in check and helps maintain the benefits without overwhelming my system. So, if you're planning to try it, consider a similar approach to manage any potential issues effectively.

Pros & Cons of Luma Nutrition Berberine

Pros:

• High Dosage: Each dose contains 1200mg of pure berberine hydrochloride, which is higher than many other berberine supplements on the market.
• Sugar-Free and Diet-Friendly: Suitable for individuals on vegan or gluten-free diets, and the capsules do not contain sugar, unlike gummy alternatives.
• Quality Assurance: The product is 3rd party tested for purity and quality, ensuring that what you consume is safe and effective.
• Made in the USA: Manufactured in GMP certified facilities, which guarantees a high standard of production and product safety.
• Veteran-Owned Business: Supports a veteran-owned business that is committed to providing customer support and addressing any product-related inquiries.
• Convenient Supply: Each bottle provides a 30-day supply, ideal for monthly subscriptions to maintain a regular intake without running out.

Cons:

• Potential Side Effects: Some users report side effects such as dizziness, intestinal distress, and heart palpitations.
• Inconsistent Effects on Appetite and Weight Loss: While some users experience benefits in terms of appetite suppression and weight loss, others see no effect, indicating variability in individual responses.
• No Return Policy on Amazon: The product cannot be returned if purchased through Amazon, even if unopened, which might discourage first-time buyers.
• Subscription Issues: There are reports of subscription delivery problems, including delays and receiving fewer capsules than promised.
• Does Not Suit Everyone: Not all users can tolerate the product; some report severe adverse reactions necessitating medical consultation.

Overview of Luma Nutrition Berberine
Luma Nutrition's Berberine comes in capsule form, which I found pretty standard for most dietary supplements. Each bottle contains 60 capsules, with a recommended dosage of two capsules per day.
This means each bottle is essentially a one-month supply if you follow the recommended dosage. The capsules themselves are a bit on the larger side, which might be a concern if you have trouble swallowing pills, but I managed fine.
One of the big selling points Luma Nutrition pushes is that their Berberine is made from all-natural ingredients, is vegan-friendly, and manufactured right here in the USA.
These are nice boxes to check off for anyone who's mindful about the ethical aspects of their supplements. They also claim that their product contains no GMOs, and is free from artificial fillers or dyes—something I appreciate since I try to keep my consumption of unnecessary additives to a minimum.
An independent company has verified the contents and safety of the product, which helps in building trust, especially if you're cautious about the purity of supplements. I found these details important not just for peace of mind but also because when it comes to supplements, you really want to make sure you're ingesting something safe and as advertised.

My Ratings Evaluation of Luma Nutrition Berberine as a Natural Ozempic Alternative

Blood Sugar Regulation

Rating: 4/5
Luma Nutrition Berberine contains 1200mg of Berberine HCI derived from Berberis aristata per serving, which is known for its potent effects on lowering blood sugar levels. Clinical studies have shown that Berberine can be effective in managing blood sugar, making it a strong natural alternative for mimicking some of the glucose-regulating effects of Ozempic. However, it might not be as consistently powerful as Ozempic, hence the deduction of one point.

Appetite Modulation

Rating: 3/5
While Berberine is primarily known for its impact on blood sugar and cholesterol, its effects on appetite are less direct. Some users report reduced appetite possibly due to better blood sugar control, which can decrease cravings and help with weight management. However, it's not specifically an appetite suppressant like Ozempic, so it scores a middle range for this category.

Metabolic Enhancement

Rating: 3/5
Berberine is reputed to have positive effects on metabolic health, primarily through the enhancement of glycolysis, which helps the body break down sugars more efficiently, and by improving insulin sensitivity. These actions can contribute to a higher metabolic rate indirectly. However, compared to Ozempic, which has a more direct role in enhancing metabolic outcomes, Berberine's effects are more moderate.

Energy Optimization

Rating: 2/5
While Berberine has been noted for its metabolic benefits, it is not primarily known for directly boosting energy levels. Users may experience increased energy indirectly through improved metabolic health and better blood sugar control, but it does not inherently contain energy-boosting properties like caffeine or other stimulants. Therefore, its capacity to support increased physical activity and vitality is limited and not as pronounced as the effects you might see with Ozempic.

Weight Management Support

Rating: 4/5
Berberine has shown promising results in supporting weight management through its ability to improve insulin sensitivity and enhance the breakdown of fats and sugars in the body. This can lead to reduced fat accumulation and support gradual weight loss, which aligns well with some of the weight loss mechanisms seen with Ozempic. While not as directly impactful as Ozempic, which is specifically designed for weight management in diabetic patients, Berberine holds its ground as a supportive supplement for natural weight management.

Safety and Tolerability Profile

Rating: 4/5
Berberine is generally considered safe when used appropriately, with common side effects being gastrointestinal discomfort such as cramps, diarrhea, or constipation. These side effects are typically mild and can often be managed with dosage adjustments. It is well-tolerated by most individuals, making it a viable alternative for those looking for natural supplements with minimal adverse effects. However, like any active compound, it's important to consult with a healthcare provider, especially for those with existing health conditions or those taking other medication.

Inflammatory Response Reduction

Rating: 3/5
Berberine has demonstrated some anti-inflammatory properties, which can contribute to overall health improvements, including enhancing insulin sensitivity and metabolic function. These benefits are crucial for managing conditions like diabetes and obesity, which are often accompanied by chronic inflammation. However, the anti-inflammatory effects of Berberine are not as extensively documented or as potent as those of some pharmacological treatments like Ozempic, which have broader systemic impacts. Therefore, while Berberine supports inflammation reduction, its effectiveness in this area is moderate compared to more targeted treatments.

Gut Health Improvement

Rating: 2/5
Berberine's impact on gut health is less clear and direct. Some studies suggest that Berberine can alter gut flora, potentially leading to improved gut barrier function and reduced permeability, which can indirectly support nutrient absorption and overall gut health. However, these effects are not as well studied or as pronounced as its effects on blood sugar and metabolism. Therefore, while there may be some potential benefits to gut health, they are not a primary function of Berberine, making it less effective in this category compared to Ozempic, which can have more noticeable effects on metabolic health and weight management through gut-related mechanisms.

Been brewing for 2 years now and have not have much problems with infections before. I soak everything in PBW before and after use and scrub with a sponge then rinse. Then sanitize everything with starsan. I have a brewzilla gen4 and recirculate the boiling wort the last 10 minuter before transfer to fermenter. This has worked without problem for my first ~20 brews.
I brewed my first saison this winter, no brett just saison yeast. That fermentation behaved weird compared to previous beers, since it seemed to finish at around 1.007 in 4 days then very slowly fermented to 1.000 over the course of a month. By some googling i learned that this was due to the yeast being diastatic.
Since then all my beers have had the same fermentation. They finish at expected fg at first then slowly go down by like 0.1-0.4 gravity points per day until a very low fg.
I did not notice anything the first 2 brews until i opened the bottles which became gushers after like 2 months. Then i first cleaned everything like crazy and still got the same problem for the third brew. I then figured i might have scratches in my plastic fermenter so I bought a new one and cleaned everything like crazy again, and i still have what i think is infection with diastatic yeast.
I have a rapt pill and track the fermentation so I know the problem comes before the bottling process. There is no weird flavors they are not sour and no pellicle just over attenuation and over carbonation in the bottles.
I’m now lost and have tried everything and have no idea what to do. Has anyone had a similar problem that they solved?

Hello everyone,
I just got my blood test result after 2 months of HRT. My medication is 2mg Estradiol orally and 100mg Spiro, taking daily.
My blood result is 56pg/mL for Estradiol and 148ng/dL for Testosterone.
So my Estradiol is a bit low right?
Recently, I told my doctor to switch my medication from pill to patch. She gave me the 0.05mg estradiol patch (applying 1 patch 2 times a week). Will this patch dosage higher than my previous 2mg Estradiol? Do you guys think my Estradiol increase after using patch?
Thank you for every advice 😘