I (27M) love my autistic girlfriend (she/her 32NB) and her equally autistic family more than I could possibly say. We have been dating for almost two years now, this is her first romatic or physical relationship and the first time shes ever brought someone home, and its important that she and her family approve of me.
I was very touched when they invited me on vacation with them this summer to join in one of their family traditions. I then discovered that tradition was civil war reenactment. The hardcore kind. they have been doing this as a family since my gf and her brothers were tiny kids, and it was even more important because she and every single member of her immediate family have a special interest in history. She was extremely excited to ask me, i get along well with her folks and brothers, her family's paying for whatever expenses come up, im free on the travel dates, and i need to get out and try things more anyway. There is literally nothing keeping me from going on this trip, except for one single reason thats big enough to actually consider hurting her feelings and staying back.
I Do Not Want To Do That.
What??? The Civil War???? Again?????? its not like i have an issue with other people doing that as a passion i guess but... I just dont get it. I dont understand the fun and fulfilling aspect of dressing up and pretending to kill each other about slavery. I dont like thinking about that! it was sad and gruesome and half of america was literally fighting their families to own sell and kill black people and EVEN THEN the good guys were still 100% big time racist :( Will there be straight up confederate cosplayers around? I assume so but that seems awkward! What Kind Of Person Commits To A 96 Hour Historical LARP Just To Ride For The South? Somebody has to! I guess! But Apart from that, I dont want to wear wrist to ankle burlap in july! I dont want to eat hardtack for four days! I dont want to appreciate historical camping techniques in a municipal park! What if real people see me? And as long as im bitching anyway, i listen to music almost constantly and my only battlefield music options would either be clapping along to classic american folk songs that double as active hate crimes, or losing myself to the groove of that sweet, sweet bugle. again i dont have a problem with my gf and her family doing it but i cant imagine something id rather be doing less. I would try basically any other type of LARP before i would consider donning my cavalry hat and embarking on a 4 day immersive expedition into americas golden age of battlefield amputations.
TLDR; its important to my girlfriend that i go civil war reenacting with her family and i really want to decline even though it wouldnt actually kill me and would make her really happy. If you guys tell me this is what I need to do as a partner then by god i'll do it and ill be a trooper about it, but. yeesh.

Im M22 and my gf is F22. We have been dating for almost 3 years now and I keep getting on her nerves and don’t know whats wrong with me. I do everything I can for her. But she says im too childish and that I probably wont ever find someone and will die alone, if I don’t change.
I don’t argue and try to solve everything and she hates it. Im not childish because im jealous, manipulative, make immature comments, etc. Im childish because im super forgetful and she hates it. She hates when I walk around barefoot and I often forget wearing my slippers, I forget closing the curtains when I close the balcony door, I forget taking out the trash on some days, etc. And its ruining our relationship. I try setting reminders and stuff, but this has always been a problem of mine and is probably also the reason I moved out of my moms house at 18. Another point is that its hard for me to open up at times and when she asks me why im like this (forgetful), my mind is just blank and she gets so mad. I just don’t know how to respond to a question like that and I can’t change who I am, but i am desperately trying to. I also often dont do things unless im told, like washing the dishes etc. I don’t have any other immaturity problems and am doing rather well in all other aspects of life, but holding a romantic relationship has always been extremely hard for me idk why.
Has anyone ever been in such a situation and when did it finally change?

I just wanted some support. So this my ex of 1.5 years broke up with me last week. We were bestfriends prior to starting the relationship. We used to share our traumas, and other issues with each other during that period.
Initially when we started the relationship, I had several issues due to insecurities. Like I had issues sending photos, being on video calls and sending voice notes. Because of these she belived that I didn't put any effort. I accept my issues but I would spend hours on the phone texting her. I asked her to give me time to change them. In 4-5 months most of my issues were gone.
We were in a long distance relationship. Our parents didn't know about this, so we had to keep it secret for the time being. But we would meet atleast once every three months when we would sit for our exams. Post September last year, I tried to make up reasons so that I can meet her. I really thought that our relationship would only get better from that point.
But in January this year, I had to move out of state for a job. She had joined her new job in our state. Her colleagues basically insulted my personality, saying things such as that my introvert character was going to be an issue in the future. Like that if our children got kidnapped, i would be sending mails to the police rather than calling them. And she believed them. Post that incident, she started complaining that I had never changed.
I am not talking high of myself, but by that point I was so different from the insecure version of me. We would call/video call daily, send pictures, send letters, etc. But for some reason she chose to see me through the past, as if I would never change.
I was the only person that stood by her when she went through so many issues, I was there for her in everything. I invested so much emotionally and in time to make this work. I worked on myself too.
But she kept seeing only the past me. So I decided to quit my job, and move back to our state to solve the issues. I loved her that much. And she told me that she would wait until we met.
But she broke it off suddenly once I flew back to our state. Didn't even want to meet me. I begged her to meet me even if she didn't want to continue the relationship. But she didn't.
She said that I was soft, but that softness is only needed when people are down. And that our energy only matched initially because she was in a depressed mood. She then proceeded to insult each and everything about me. My character, my family, my religion, and all. At times she would also use my past traumatic incidents against me. I confided these issues when we were best friends.
I really thought that she was the love of my life. How can a person that we once loved so much turn into stonewalls? How can they see only the bad in us?
She would say that in a perfect relationship, the partners would not have to work on anything. Is there really a relationship where no working on themselves is required?
Is it me who is really in the wrong here? I believe that each person in a relationship is a work in progress. But she doesn't have the same viewpoint. Since she blamed me so much, I am starting to believe it was my fault.
TLDR: broke up after 1.5 years. Ex gf didn't believe in making it work, said that perfect partners don't have to do anything to match. Initially in the relationship, I had some insecurity issues but got over them in some time. Quit my job to be closer to her and solve any issues. Was not given a chance. Now I am blaming myself.

So, I grew up going to Disneyland. Often. My grandparents, great aunt and uncle, all their children, and their grandchildren work at Disneyland. I was a pass holder for years and years, literally until I moved out of CA, and could navigate Disneyland with my eyes closed. I’ve always liked Disney, kept up with their new content and enjoyed the whole thing. But, I was never OBSESSED as some are. Didn’t wear merch, have ears, cry over fireworks…. I think maybe because it was just a very normal aspect of my childhood that it never became over the top for me.
A few years back, my mother in law mentioned that she wanted to do a big trip in 2024, to disneyworld. I’d only been once, in 2006 for a choir trip and saw about none of WDW because of the trip requirements etc. I literally had a pretzel and went on pirates of the Caribbean. So, I decided to go head first into planning because I’d heard that WDW was a whole new ballgame. So for the last year, I’ve watched endless Vlogs, TikTok’s, YouTube videos, Pinterest planning charts. I familiarized myself with all the acronyms. I made checklists. Endless checklists. Coordinated the park outfits. Got everyone’s list of their most wanted food, rides, experiences etc. I really took the reins on planning this trip. I kinda felt a little insane about how much I was focused on the ins and outs of making this trip possible and magical for our whole family. It was my mother and father in law, brother in law and his GF, myself, my husband and our 4 children ages 9,7,6,3. My in laws had not been since the late 70s, and my husband and BIL had gone on a sports trip in 2002 for one day in magic kingdom. So this was pretty new for all of us.
Let me just say that we had SUCH a phenomenal experience this week. It truly was a 1000000/10. I honestly have zero genuine complaints and the only thing that bummed me out was that we accidentally walked right past the ice cream/brioche thing in France 😩. I genuinely believe that my obsessive planning and preparedness truly prepped us for the week. I handled 99% of the time spent in the parks. We all stayed at Art of Animation in Cars Suites. We were really happy with this choice. My kids are huge cars fans and they loved the theming. We loved the accessibility to transportation and the large pools. We also had some truly surprisingly delicious food in the cafeteria area. We used Genie + for the trip.
We started in AK, rope dropped FOP and Navi river and used rider swap for FOP. Booked safari and saw so many beautiful animals. We had rhinos soooooo close! It was amazing. Had some really great food, loved the cheeseburger pods and grilled corn. Our favorite part was the Lion King show. That was amazing!
Then we went to MK day 2. Rope dropped and hit everything in Fantasyland, popped around a bit then took a mid-day break. Grandparents kept the kids for the PM so we adults came back in the evening for food and haunted mansion/pirates. So much fun. We left about 10 minutes before fireworks so we skipped that whole mass exodus.
Day 3 we did Epcot and this park surprised me sooooooooo much. I absolutely loved it. We had SO much good food. Like…. Amazing food. Our favorites were: the butter and sugar crepe (France), the chicken satay (china), maple popcorn (Canada), scallops with green beans and honey Cauliflower (these were both flower festival special booths). I was able to get in the 1pm VQ for guardians which we were sooooooo excited about. My 6 year old absolutely loved every second of that ride, I thought my husband was going to barf lol. I was throughly impressed with Ratatoullie, what a fun creative ride. I was definitely unimpressed with Frozen…. Such a short ride for what it’s worth. We rode mostly everything except Mission Space (? I think that’s the name, someone at our hotel said it would make you sick, very spinny). The highlight for my kids was literally running into Asha (from Wish). She was lovely and so kind with my children.
Day 4 we had an off day and did dinner at Ohana which was lovely. My kids love stitch so it was a total hit for them. I loved how much time they spent at the table. Nothing felt rushed. We went to Disney springs but didn’t stay too long. There were lines at most of the popular spots for treats. We basically walked around a bit then went to the Lego store.
Our last day was MK again. We didn’t rope drop, but came in around 10am and man, the Disney gods were on our side. We got on everything by stacking genie and short standby lines. We got in the 1pm VQ for Tron and snacked a bit before going back to the hotel for a pool break. We came back when our group was being called for Tron. That ended up being one of the best rides of the trip. Truly creative and amazing. We capped it off with fireworks and they were truly beautiful.
I truly can’t say enough good about our trip. It went so smoothly and I genuinely feel like my planning paid off. My only “complaints” were: the merch kinda sucked. It was the same everywhere in every store. Also, I know Disney prices are wild but there’s zeroooooooooo reason those spirit jerseys are almost $80. And, I know plastic waste blah blah but a full to the brim slurpee/slush for a kid with zero lid is so annoying. Lots of spills 😞. And last, Epcot needs some kind of shade situation. It was 93 the day we were there and that was really hard. There’s nowhere outdoor to hide. There’s got to be some kind of creative solution.
Things we did that we loved: silicone straws, stroller rental from kingdom strollers (great Homebase for stuff), afternoon pool breaks for MK, cooling towels (4 pack on Amazon), spare socks in a ziplock baggie for dry feet.
Overall, I totally get it now. I totally understand “Disney adults”, I absolutely get the hype. It truly is magical. I’m literally on the drive back home, pricing out a trip back. I’m thinking next Halloween/fall!!

For a bit of context I became friends with this girl let’s call her Ella in the first year of high school. We were inseparable and had a really good friendship. When we came back after lockdown for our third year of high school I started to see some red flags. In lockdown we both struggled with our mental health. But she made me feel as if my problems were irrelevant or not as bad as hers. But when we came back she started telling everyone about her ED she apparently had. She claimed to not eat for weeks but still come to our competitive swimming training every day. Now I am in no way trying to say she faked it but I don’t think you could swim competitively 9 hours a week without eating. There was also no change in her body whatsoever. She kept making comments on my body and eating habits. The most memorable being, “I’m surprised you don’t have an eating disorder have you looked in the mirror you looking a bit big” and “like are you seriously eating all that do you know how many calories are in that.” Things that generally brought back all the issues I had experience in lockdown meaning I was having a really bad time. I never said anything to her as I felt bad for all she was going through and wanted to be there for her as a good friend. Something happened at the end of the third year of high school that really made me go to rock bottom and whenever I would try to talk to her about it and she would just say you’ve already told me that and talk about some petty problem she had like how our teacher didn’t smile at her today. She was just a pathological liar but I never mentioned anything because I was too nice and felt bad for all she was going through. I was always there for her in her darkest days but she was never once there for me, she may of acted like she cared after I would tell her something I was struggling with by saying oh no that’s so bad but then just move onto how her dad made her cook dinner for something. One example of her lies was she claimed her dad was absive because he accidentally closed a door on her finger and said sorry a million times after. All this stuff only really came to my attention after I ended the friendship because I think I was just so wrapped round her lies One thing though that was really bad was I told her one of my biggest secrets and she went and told our teacher the whole thing bare in mind this was not our of worry for me but just to gossip, I had some serious issues with this teacher as she just treated me so unfairly and then she processed to bring it up in class as I assume Ella had told her it was okay to There are so many things that really I could talk about but I will only mention two more of the ones that are the worse Me and Ella and another friend were having a little sleepover that involved drinking bare in bind she was a bit reluctant to do it but me and my other friend checked about 5000 times to make sure she was comfortable with it and she was she reassured us she was. So we ended up having a fun night where we all got a bit tipsy Then about a week later she messaged us both saying we had forced her to drink and go against the will of God. She made me feel like such as shit friend for making her do this I felt ill and cried for days If you think this is bad the thing that tipped me over the edge was her faking being r worded And you may ask how do I know she was faking it I spent hours and hours making sure that I was sure of it before I cut her off. She basically faked it and claimed she became pregnant and got an abrtion one morning before school. She used to fake having a new bf every week and this particular one let’s call Alex, she showed us all a picture that I later found one Pinterest. We were 14 at the time and he’s was apparently 17 at some point over the few months they were together he ended up in prison apparently He then was then allowed out for a day where this happened and then went back to jail the next. And as far as I’m aware you don’t get leave days just to see your gf. Then he apparently also got out for another day to pay for her ab*rtion. And bear in mind I had her location and she always went straight home from school or just to another one of our friends houses. She also told everyone a different story Be sure I would never accuse someone of doing such a horrible thing unless I was sure of it So AITA for cutting her off or was this well deserved

I never thought I would be the type of girl to even be able to form feelings for a guy who I knew was already dating someone. But this is different than anything I’ve ever felt and it’s honestly driving me absolutely insane.
Background, I met him in one of my classes about a week ago. I’m a sophomore and he’s a junior btw. Both of us had no where to sit except for one empty table so we sat together and immediately had great conversation. He’s sweet, funny, and talkative more than any other guy I’ve met. When we started sitting together I already knew he had a gf but sadly that didn’t stop me from thinking he was kind of cute. But once we started talking fr it changed the whole game. He makes me feel so comfortable and the crazy thing is he lowkey flirts with me. He’s told me I smell good and my eyes are beautiful. He even said he’d give me a ride on his motorcycle some time. Obviously I wouldn’t actually do that out of respect for his relationship and I don’t think he meant it seriously but it’s just the flirtatiousness that’s making me fold.
The worst part of all of this is that it’s making me bend my morals. I was talking to my best friend about the situation and I realized that I lowkey would want to kiss him or hang out with him if he asked. I hate that I would even consider being a homewrecker. I’ve also stalked his instagram extensively to the point of following a bunch of people he follows to gain mutuals, checking tagged posts, hoping they break up and her highlight gets taken down. I even joined a new community on snap so that I could be in the same year as him and add him without it saying from search. it’s making me absolutely insane and I don’t know what to do about it because idk if I’ve ever felt this strongly about someone in such a short time.
I need to get over it asap how can I move on

I (F22) have a friend we can fall Max M(21) we started out as co-workers in college (January 2022) Max was in a long term relationship with his HS gf and I had just gotten out of a super toxic relationship. We were purely platonic and in a friend group together. I started dating guys causally and he stayed with his girlfriend often times doing group dates. Everything was going well. Fast forward to August 2022 Max broke up with his girlfriend. I wasn’t seeing anyone at the time and we hung out in friend groups, he was a little flirty and a mutual friend we had (Ashley) would always ask me if I would ever be into Max and would say we would be so cute together. At the time it was so platonic I couldn’t see myself with him at all, he was cute and kind but I just couldn’t imagine myself being sexual with him. I didn’t think too much about Ashley’s comments and I assumed she was just being a typical girl trying to be a match maker. I also didn’t think much about Max’s flirty vibe because he was naturally like that and he had mention he was crushing on a regular customer we had at work. I even encouraged him to date her. And after a while he did date her, it lasted 4 months and he dumped (February 2023) her because it wasn’t going well.
Fast forward to April 2023 I was about to graduate college and move across the country when Max started asking to hang out one on one, we went on three unofficial dates and it finally hit me that he did actually like me, I still did not like him in that way but I hadn’t had sex in about a year and didn’t want to move to a new place with out having had sex in such a long time and being rusty (I know stupid logic) so we started sleeping together and it went from friends, to friends with benefits, to just hooking up and leaving without speaking much really quickly. We did this for a month and half and then I had to move (May 2023). At this point I had finally developed feelings for him but he now only saw me as a sex object (I assume).
His brother lived where I was moving so in July 2023 he went to see his brother and came to see me a few times. I did not treat him too well, I let him sleep over one night and didn’t make him breakfast and kinda rushed him out the next morning, in my defense I was acting like the sex object he saw me as, I wasn’t going to act like a girlfriend and do things he didn’t deserve. (He did Uber 40 minutes one way to see, I don’t think any guy in their right mind would do that for just sex) I then over the course of next year flew home a few times and saw him each time, when I flew home he would take me out to dinner first and then we’d go back to his place. We never texted or talked unless I was flying home and it was only to set up our “date” then we’d go back to never texting.
Then he went to basic training in April 2024. He asked me to write him letters everyday and I did. In one of his letters he sent to me he wrote that if he saw me he would cry, elope, and run away with me. When he got out of basic training it was a complete 360 from our usual behavior , he texted me every day for about 2 weeks and called me a few times. He even sent me a picture of himself and asked me to put it in my wallet. He also asked me to keep writing him letters even though he was out of basic training. He said he would re-read my letters and that they made him so happy, he said thought a lot about me while at basic and after. He was being very flirty again.
Something I forgot to mention: We both have jobs that make us move around a lot and would be difficult to ever be in the same place.
It seems like thing went from him liking me> him treating me like a sex object> back to friends with benefits but only speaking when I flew home> him speaking to me everyday> to now?
The advise I’m looking for is: Does he like me or is it just a typical case of a man playing games and wanting no strings sex ?
Are his intentions pure and this is just a confusing situation?
could this ever work and how would it work?
And just generally what the fuck is going on here?
Thanks Reddit! This is my first post so apologies if it’s long and poorly written!
Real life Max if you read this pretend like you didn’t.

I (13M) feel like I should probably give some context before I start otherwise this post is just gonna sound weird. My parents divorced 4 years ago and they hate each other like in the whole 4 years they’ve barely spoke, they can’t really be in the same room without fighting. My dad also has a partner who he’s been with for 2 years. My mom and her like never speak because they also hate each other because my mom thinks that my dad cheated on her with his current partner idk if that’s true but I don’t really care.
Anyways yeah so my dad died just over a week ago so yeah that happened. I didn’t tell my mom because I didn’t really know what to say and like I didn’t know how she was gonna react. My dad’s partner didn’t tell her earlier because she probably assumed I already told her. She picked me up the day before the funeral because I was gonna stay over so It’ll be easier for me to get to the funeral. Anyways yeah so she came inside and like asked my mom how I was like dealing with all this or something like that and obviously my mom freaked out because she didn’t know that he died. She asked me what the fuck is wrong with me and we got into an argument. I tried to explain that I didn’t know how to tell her and like I didn’t want to upset. She told me that she wished I was never born and she said all that other generic parent stuff like being disappointed and whatever. I didn’t say anything until she started shit talking my dad I told her to shut the fuck up. As I was leaving she said some shit about me liking my dads gf more than her, which literally isn’t true I don’t really like dads gf but her partner has just died so I should probably be there for her. My mom also told me to stay at dads place since I hate her apparently.
It’s been 3 days since then and idk man like I probably should’ve told her but I just knew that she’d find a way to shit talk him and I don’t know man I just didn’t wanna deal with that but also it’s so annoying being with dads gf because she keeps talking about how it was such a tragedy and how he was so great and whatever. Like why do we have to talk about him so much can’t we just like move on now that funerals over and not think about him again. Anyways sorry for the long post I didn’t wanna miss out any info sorry if I did miss anything out though i’ve never done one of these before

I’m not sure if this is the appropriate subreddit but basically one of my (18F) best friends (19F) kept sleeping with a man (19m) who was in a relationship, and she knew this but simply didn’t care. As soon as she told me the first time, i was shocked and told her immediately that it’s so wrong and i’m disappointed and that she needs to stop. She didn’t care & kept sleeping with him, even wanted him to make her his girlfriend.
My friend searched for and found his gf’s (19f) social media’s and would constantly check for updates, check all the posts, check on her stories on a secret/fake account. My friend would tell me how much she hated his gf and I would think wtf? Leave her alone? And what has she done for you to hate her? Lol. Anyways He eventually broke up with the girlfriend (idk why). Him and my friend continued sleeping with each other and she so desperately wanted to be his girlfriend. God knows why.
No matter how much I told her she’s wrong for this she didn’t listen, I was incredibly disappointed. She would even take all her stuff to his accommodation and sleep there just so he can sleep with her whenever he wanted. He never took her on dates yet he told her he “loved her” and I kept telling her he’s just manipulating her but she believed him not me. She said he’s his soulmate. One day after weeks of sleeping with her he randomly told her to get out and essentially got rid of her and went back to his ex girlfriend. Removed my friend on all social media and was talking down on her to others. She was devastated and all I could say is I’m sorry but I continuously told you so. This whole situation just makes me question whether I should be friends, especially close friends with someone like this. We clearly have very different standards and values, and I am almost disgusted that she could act in such a way.
I had moved past the situation and decided to still be friends with her as when I spoke to her about it she said she really regrets it (I had contemplated cutting her off, but didn’t tell her). Then a few months later (last month), he requested to follow her on Instagram. She screenshotted it, sent it to me and said “Omg this is the best day of my life!”. She obviously accepted it and followed him back. I just sighed. He literally has a girlfriend. Plus he has shown that he doesn’t even respect my friend through the way he treated her. Doesn’t this show she doesn’t really regret her actions if she’s willing to allow him to have access to her again? It just made the whole situation new for me again. She makes comments about ‘taking girl’s men’ and that “she’s done it before she can do it again” and laughs. It’s been a while since the actual sleeping with the guy situation but I can’t look at her the same every time I look at her
BTW guys i’m aware that he is obviously in the wrong as well for cheating on his girlfriend, but she’s my friend not him.
My mum says I need to distance myself from such a girl, she says “she could even do it to me and sleep with my boyfriend behind my back as she has no morals or self respect”. I’m so conflicted because i’ve been friends with her for a few years, but idk. I have also continued to be friends with her after the situation, and I got her gifts for her last bday, so is it even possible for me to just turn around and stop being friends with her? We snap every single day (for streaks lol). What do you guys think and what would you do if you were in my position? Would you distance yourself or just cut her off completely? How would you go about it?
TLDR; My friend repeatedly slept with a guy who was in a relationship and stalked his girlfriend online. After he dumped her, she regretted it but got excited when he followed her on Instagram again. She jokes about taking other girls' men, and my mom thinks I should distance myself from her. I'm conflicted. What should I do?

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TL;DR I asked a guy at work for a small favour. He was friendly and polite and all of a sudden changed to being distant and dismissive. I don’t know if I did something wrong, I feel bad and I wish I could fix it.
A few months ago, I and my partner started planning a trip abroad to a country A on a continent I’ve never been before. Planning it was becoming quite stressful as we like booking everything in advance including restaurants and activities. I told about it to one of my female colleagues at which point she advised me to ask guy X to help me with the planning as X is from country A. At that point in time, I had never worked with guy X closely and I had never spoken to him before apart from saying our names in a group setting in a training at work months before. I barely remembered him from the training and we didn’t use to say hello to each other. Nonetheless I messaged him about my trip and he agreed to help me.
We met in the kitchen in the office and he seemed very friendly and genuinely nice and happy to be able to help me. He gave me lots of recommendations and useful information and even wrote a whole plan for my trip on a sheet of paper. He even shared some personal story such as him wanting to visit a place with an ex a few years ago. We chatted for one hour. I have to say that during that chat I realised how attractive I find him. While we were chatting, I could feel an intense sexual tension on my side but of course, I tried to hide it, I didn’t touch him, I didn’t try to flirt or anything like that. When he asked me if I’m travelling alone, I told him I’m travelling with my partner at which point he started telling me how I should go to this very romantic place. At the end, I thanked him and I had no reason to believe he found me attractive too or that the sexual tension was mutual. He never mentioned any gf but I know he used to be in a serious relationship and it’s possible that he still is. I’ve been in a relationship with my SO for 3 years, we live together and I’ve been very happy so I was surprised I could feel like this in the presence of another man but I didn’t think too much of it as it’s normal, we’re humans and we can’t control attraction.
After some time, one day, we’re passing each other in the office and he stops for small talk, asking me how the planning went. For whatever reason, I didn’t expect him to talk to me so I panicked, I felt nervous and I gave a short answer that I still haven’t done it and went my way, hitting a wall when I turned, no idea if he noticed. After that, after a few days, I realised I might have been rude so I messaged him with an update, telling him that I managed to book everything and that he really helped me and I was thanking him again. He replied very politely that he would be more than happy to answer any other questions if I have more, he even offered to book a tour for me if needed. I told him that the only thing that I would like help with is the language of country A, that I’ve been learning it for over one year and I would like to practice it with him. Again, he seemed very friendly and kind, said that of course, we can do that.
After some time, one day, he comes to my desk to set up a time to practice the language A. I never came to his desk and he had never done it either but I took it as a sign of friendliness. Later that day, we meet in the kitchen again and we spend 30 mins speaking. Despite me being nervous and speaking in a foreign language, the conversation wasn’t awkward, he’s all smiley and makes jokes, he even shared other personal story again about another ex and at the end he offered to do it again the following week and even introduced me to a female colleague who can also speak language A. I took it as a good sign.
Now here comes the event where everything changed. There was happy hour in the office, I was chatting with guy Y when guy X shows up, says hello and confirms the day of our next chat. Guy Y, whose native language is also language A, acts a bit surprised and says that I asked him too to practice and he thought he was the only one. I felt weird, I mumbled something that it’s good to speak to different people with different accents. At this point guy X just moves to speak to other people, never says anything else to me and leaves soon after. First of all, I didn’t know guy X knows guy Y. Second of all, I did tell guy X that I’m practicing with other people too so I didn’t think back then it was an issue. I know guy Y a bit better because he works with me on the same project and has acted very friendly towards me from the start. I think guy Y might be single and possibly likes me but I don’t know if guy X picked up on this.
Next week, on the day I was supposed to meet with guy X, first he delays the meeting 2 times, then when we finally meet, he acts rushed , switching almost all the time to English and acting as if it was a chore and as if he wasn’t the one who offered to help in the first place. My first thought was that he was busy or stressed at work.
A couple of days after, I was packing and messaged him about something that I wasn’t sure I needed to pack. He replies to me after hours, saying he was busy and wishing me a good trip.
Fast forward a few weeks, I’m back in the office, we pass each other and asks me how it was without stopping for small talk, I say it was nice and that’s it, he never asks me anything else again. I just couldn’t believe it. If I was him I would die to find out how it was, I would speak about my home country for hours. Again I tell myself he might be stressed or busy with work and try not to read too much into it.
After a while, he announces he is changing teams so he’s moving to a different floor. I message him asking if I could bother him again for cofee breaks to practice the language A and he replies of course. I then say something else but he never replies, shutting down the conversation. I’m pretty sure he would never initiate anything and at this point it’s clear to me he doesn’t want to talk to me anymore.
I just don’t understand why he went from over friendly to distant and dismissive all of a sudden. He is very friendly with everyone in the office and quite liked. Did I offend him? Did he just decide he hates me ? Can I fix this ? is it all in my mind and he’s just acting normal but not interested in making new friends? I know I shouldn’t be thinking of this and it doesn’t deserve my energy but it just bugs me to know that I might have upset someone who was genuinely kind and helpful at the start.

Could this ever work or am I delusional
I (F22) have a friend we can fall Max M(21) we started out as co-workers in college (January 2022) Max was in a long term relationship with his HS gf and I had just gotten out of a super toxic relationship. We were purely platonic and in a friend group together. I started dating guys causally and he stayed with his girlfriend often times doing group dates. Everything was going well. Fast forward to August 2022 Max broke up with his girlfriend. I wasn’t seeing anyone at the time and we hung out in friend groups, he was a little flirty and a mutual friend we had (Ashley) would always ask me if I would ever be into Max and would say we would be so cute together. At the time it was so platonic I couldn’t see myself with him at all, he was cute and kind but I just couldn’t imagine myself being sexual with him. I didn’t think too much about Ashley’s comments and I assumed she was just being a typical girl trying to be a match maker. I also didn’t think much about Max’s flirty vibe because he was naturally like that and he had mention he was crushing on a regular customer we had at work. I even encouraged him to date her. And after a while he did date her, it lasted 4 months and he dumped (February 2023) her because it wasn’t going well. Fast forward to April 2023 I was about to graduate college and move across the country when Max started asking to hang out one on one, we went on three unofficial dates and it finally hit me that he did actually like me, I still did not like him in that way but I hadn’t had sex in about a year and didn’t want to move to a new place with out having had sex in such a long time and being rusty (I know stupid logic) so we started sleeping together and it went from friends, to friends with benefits, to just hooking up and leaving without speaking much really quickly. We did this for a month and half and then I had to move (May 2023). At this point I had finally developed feelings for him but he now only saw me as a sex object (I assume). His brother lived where I was moving so in July 2023 he went to see his brother and came to see me a few times. I did not treat him too well, I let him sleep over one night and didn’t make him breakfast and kinda rushed him out the next morning, in my defense I was acting like the sex object he saw me as, I wasn’t going to act like a girlfriend and do things he didn’t deserve. (He did Uber 40 minutes one way to see, I don’t think any guy in their right mind would do that for just sex) I then over the course of next year flew home a few times and saw him each time, when I flew home he would take me out to dinner first and then we’d go back to his place. We never texted or talked unless I was flying home and it was only to set up our “date” then we’d go back to never texting. Then he went to basic training in April 2024. He asked me to write him letters everyday and I did. In one of his letters he sent to me he wrote that if he saw me he would cry, elope, and run away with me. When he got out of basic training it was a complete 360 from our usual behavior , he texted me every day for about 2 weeks and called me a few times. He even sent me a picture of himself and asked me to put it in my wallet. He also asked me to keep writing him letters even though he was out of basic training. He said he would re-read my letters and that they made him so happy, he said thought a lot about me while at basic and after. He was being very flirty again.
Something I forgot to mention: We both have jobs that make us move around a lot and would be difficult to ever be in the same place.
It seems like thing went from him liking me> him treating me like a sex object> back to friends with benefits but only speaking when I flew home> him speaking to me everyday> to now?
The advise I’m looking for is: Does he like me or is it just a typical case of a man playing games and wanting no strings sex
Are his intentions pure and this is just a confusing situation?
could this ever work and how would it work?
And just generally what the fuck is going on here?
Thanks Reddit! This is my first post so apologies if it’s long and poorly written!
Real life Max if you read this pretend like you didn’t.

EDIT: Family lunch talaga 'yong sa title hahaha
Background: So, actually orphaned na kaming magkakapatid. Ako yung bunso, lahat ng kapatid ko except sa panganay kong Kuya ay nasa UAE.
Yung Kuya kong to, he verbally and emotionally abused everyone in the family. Before mawala ang parents ko (separate years), parehas niyang pinagmumumura yan sila when things don’t go his way. He is a wife beater, and generally a very abusive person. I remember moments from my childhood na sa labas ng bahay pinapahiya niya ako at sinasaktan.
When our mother was sick, ako lang ang nag-aalaga sakanya kasi nga abroad lahat sila and si Kuyang panganay is may family, nasa ibang city sila. I took care of everything, check ups, medicine, her food intake— ages 16 to 18 years old ako n’on nung inaalagaan ko siya.
I was balancing school life, household chores, and taking care of my mother. At the time din ako na naghahandle ng mga perang pinapadala sa’min sa bahay. Ako, si Mommy, and yung isang pamangking babae ko lang na 5 years younger ang nasa iisang bahay.
After our mother died, nasa akin ang lahat ng sisi ng panganay naming Kuya, while the rest of my siblings comforted me saying I did a great job at such a young age. Pinoproject sakin ni Kuya na hindi ko daw inalagaan ng maayos, ako daw nangstress sakanya. etc.
Heck, ako nga ‘yong nag-asikaso miski burol at cremation ni Mommy kasi walang tumutulong sa’kin. Nung huling mga sandali ng buhay ni Mommy, ako ‘yong kinakausap ng mga nurse at doctor, ako ‘yong nagpupuyat at walang tulog na nag-aalaga sa ospital. I was 18!
All of that was just the tip of the iceberg, kaya siguro makikita niyo kung gaano ka-grabe ang galit ko at hinding-hindi ko siya mapatawad.
Ngayon, ‘yung Ate kong breadwinner na nasa UAE, same sila ng sakit ng mother ko but fortunately si Ate nasa better hands medically sa UAE and anlaki ng chance niya gumaling… So ayun, she had a stroke, got a brain surgery, and many more complications.
Dahil sa life and death situation niya, biglang gusto niya magreach out sa Kuya naming ‘yon. Gusto niya na lang patawarin lahat ng ginawa ni Kuya kahit na lagi din diyang minumura-mura at minamaliit palagi, kesyo bobo daw Ate ko, barya lang sahod, tanga, and the likes (Kahit hindi naman?? She was literally paying my mother’s medical needs and medicines while ako and yung pamangkin ko pinag-aaral niya sa private school!)
Bigla na lang nag-aaya ng family lunch with his wife and child itong Kuya ko after a year na walang paramdam, probably curious sa kalagayan ni Ate kasi wala namang kapatid na kumakausap sakanya because of everything he’s done.
Sabi ng Ate ko na nasa hospital bed ngayon, sumama na lang daw kami ng pamangkin ko (anak ni Ate) sa family lunch kasi baka magwala sa bahay at magsisisigaw kasi mapapahiya siyang hindi kami dadayo sa family dinner na inaya niya. Baka daw mura-murahin kami at magwala sa bahay ‘pag hindi pa ako sumama…
Ang akin naman, I don’t know if he’ll do that kasi topakin naman talaga siya, di ko matansiya kung anong mangyayari. But if ever naman na hindi ako sasama and hindi siya topakin na hindi ako kasama, di rin ako mababahala kasi mabait siya sa pamangkin ko sobra. Baby na baby ng lahat itong pamangkin kong to kasi she basically grew up as our “bunso” talaga.
3 days ago lang nag-aya ‘tong Kuya ko. However, yung boyfie ko last month pa kami nagplano ng late anniversary date namin kasi yung mismong anniv date namin e may trabaho siya.
Feeling ko ang gago ko kasi: iiwanan ko mag-isa ‘yong pamangkin ko sa Tito niyang uncomfortable siya with, she’d be dealing with the explanations and the uncomfortable situation. Saka yung Ate kong bed-ridden, gusto niya is makitang maging maayos kami. May part din sa’kin na ano uunahin ko ba anniversary date kesa sa family eme (ewwwww.)
Feeling ko din gago ako knowing na baka nga magwala-wala ‘tong taong ‘to sa bahay namin. Medyo hesitant ako.
(Also, yung wife niyang Kuya ko na ‘yan dati she was encouraging yung gf ng isa kong kuya na manguha na lang ng mga chocolates and gamit sa balikbayan boxes na dala ng mga kapatid ko, hindi naman daw namin mapapansin saka kumuha na din daw siya madaming chocolates… Hindi naman kami nagdadamot e, kung manghingi pa siya okay lang pero ninakaw talaga?? Nakita namin yung mismong convo hahaha.)
Idk what to do.

As the title said my 39M gf 36F have been sending texts, pictures and even hanging out with her ex 36M and pretty much lying to me about it. It’s driving up my anxiety and every time I try to tell her is affecting us, she puts it off with a silly reason such as “I didn’t tell you because I knew you wouldn’t like it” or “why do you always act like this?”
When I meet my gf we were in very different places. I was 3 years out of a marriage and she was in the throws of splitting up with her bf. We had known each other for about 12+ years and it was easy falling into a routine with her. The thing was she hadn’t told her friends (the sisters of her ex) and her family that she had started dating me or that they had split up. This lie lasted for the first three months of us being together.
During this time I was forced into situations where her ex would turn up to party’s with us and I’d be expected to chat to him because “we hand so much in common” (we don’t)
I have said on many occasions that I don’t want to interact with her ex. That I don’t know him, that we don’t really have anything to talk about etc (I might have made a crude joke about things we could talk about while feeling awkward)
Now tho she sends him pictures of things we’re doing as a couple. Meals we make and places we go. I’ve spoken to her about this and how it makes me feel like I’m just a stop gap till they get back together (mostly due to my anxiety). Recently I was to use her phone to order food after we came back from holiday. While closing apps there was messages saying how lonely she was in the flat because I was working late. I felt like shit reading that because one it’s was her messages and two because of how it sounded. When I calmed down I asked her when the last time she had spoken to her ex. She told me it had been month however the date on the message was a day before out holiday (we went away for four days). I told her I saw the text. I told her how it looked. She denied it was how it looked and started crying.
Fast forward a bit and she gets herself invited to a games night at her friends house (she wasn’t invited but felt left out). She told me who was going and asked if I could pick her up after my shift as I was closing my store. I agreed and said I’d pick her up just after 11pm as I was tired and didn’t want to drive all the way home to come all the way back. She was fine with this. 11pm came and suddenly she was all about getting a taxi home. I asked why and she just said she was having fun playing games. I said fine and I think she got home about 3am.
Last week we went to see Tenacious D at the hydro. While waiting in line for drinks and merch her ex approached me and asked if my gf had gotten home okay from his after the games night and if she had got the taxi money he sent her. As you can imagine my blood was boiling. Rather than show how annoyed I was, I walked away before something happened.
After the gig my mood got worse. We went out to the cathouse and I decided to sit away from our group of friends because I didn’t want to bring anyone down.
While at the bar my gf approached me and asked what was wrong. To which I asked why she keeps lying to me about her ex. I asked her who was at the games night and she lied again about who was there. I told her she’d get one more chance to come clean and that I knew she was lying. Her only reply was I knew you’d be upset. She says she loves me like no other and nothing happened, that he is just a friend, that she doesn’t know why he said that… she started crying and I felt like a massive bastard…
My anxiety says don’t believe her. My ADHD has the whole thing playing out on repeat.
What should I do? There has been an awkward atmosphere since it came to a head. She wants to go out tonight to our normal place (me her sister and a friend) but I know it’s his normal place as well. I know it won’t end well if I go, there will be an argument because of how I feel and how I think she keeps ignoring how I feel but it’s eating away at me about what’s gonna happen when I ask her if she goes anyway.
I know I should just walk away. It’s been almost 3years.
Anyone got any words of wisdom?
Sorry for the long story.

Me and me GF were High school sweethearts. My GF currently works at a take giant and earns 190000 dollars a year. I work at a local company and earn 32000 a year. My girlfriend is very very nice and she loves me very much as do I. But last day she called me and and my income insignificant in front of her she also said that even if I do my best I will not be half as good as her. Many times she jokes about how I am the man of the house and still she outearns me by such a margin. She also says that since she is a woman she will be good at being a mother and since she already earn 4 times more than me(which will increse soon as she is lined up for a promotion) i am practically irrelevant and insignificant in her married life except giving her orgasms. She had rich parents and my father died when I was 16 years old she knows how I have come till here and I find it very disturbing that she thinks like this. Now she says I should quit because my money doesn't do anything as it is so less and that way i can focus on being a good caretaker of my child while she works to pay for her kid and adult "kid" since he is dependent on her. What should I do?

Hi, i just wanted to rant about a problem player I had in my party. This person who i'll call R, has been quite a problem player in my game. I've posted about him before on D&D as he was adamant about pvp but ended up "agreeing" with my terms regarding it. I'm a new DM and this was my first time actually DMing and I put a lot of effort into setting it up, the party consisted of a kemonomimi dog bard, cat warlock, and a tiefling warlock (yes i know very balanced), an oathbreaker paladin (R's character edgy backstory and all) and a fairy artificer, (R's bff who just went along with anything he said). All of these players except the kemonomimi dog bard were new to d&d with the bard having dm'd before, (honestly such a great player and person and gave me great tips after the oneshot.)
Now, the problem started as soon as we started the session. I was running one of the modules from Candlekeep mysteries on Roll20 since it was more accesible to us all. R couldnt be on voice chat for some reason and his bsf as well, although he was able to before. As I was explaining to the party and introducing them to the setting and roleplaying the NPCs, he kept commenting how bad I was at roleplaying and kept spamming skip dialogue in the voice chat and moving his token wherever. He also kept drawing dicks on the map and made a "sillies corner" for him and his best friend the fairy artificer.
Afterwards a bit further into the campaign he still made the same comments and also kept moving his token around in some restricted areas as well, I probably should have put it in the fog of war but I forgot to so that was honestly my fault. However after that as soon as the party were getting deeper into the story, he just leaves. Out of nowhere. No text, no nothing. Afterwards his best friend left as well. I tried to involve him and them into the story and get him to interact more but he just didnt. I would just be met with insults and shut up. Until he just left.. its not like he lost internet connection, he was still online. He didnt want to interact with other players other than be hostile to them except his best friend, and he just kept insulting me as a DM.
Luckily this didnt deter me and my party and we just continued as normal. My tiefling warlock got pretty upset though because they thought it was rude and R had been getting on their nerves for quite some time. We ended up having a blast aside from the long arduous combat when they accidentally aggro'd the entire map, however it ended well and we ended up with an epic showdown against the BBEG's. Afterwards my players told me they enjoyed the session and the kemonomimi bard complimented my dming style especially for a new dm which was really nice coming from them and gave me some really great tips as well.
The bard also commented that, that type of player R was, was very problematic, and said that it would be an immediate kick from them at their table. Afterwards I was honestly pretty upset, especially as he had the nerves to talk to me afterwards out of game like it was all good. I ended up talking to my partner and friends about it which includes the tiefling bard and they tell me I should talk about it to him but I dont wanna confront him while I'm still pissed. I honestly have half a mind to kick him from the group, but my partner says to talk to him first about it to not escalate things any further, and because R had been going through some shit recently which might have affected his behavior (recently moved out, broke up with his gf, etc.) Which I agree with.
Thats all, I also just found it funny how in the previous post I made about R, that it would end up on rpghorrorstories and it did. Not so much a horror story though and I admit I was not the best at roleplaying, but it was also my first time and he knew that and as a friend irl, the least he could do was be nice. I'll talk to him about this when I've calmed down as this has been an issue in other areas as well and I dont appreciate him just disrespecting me even if it was a joke. I still wanna DM, but I dont think I wanna DM for R anymore though.
TLDR: R insulted my dming skills during the oneshot, was hostile to other players aside from his best friend and left midway through the oneshot without any explanation. The strangers on reddit were correct.

I've been fapping for almost 5 years and every single time that i relapsed i felt that im the most disgusting human alive . yesterday i saw one of my friends that we used to be buddy's .he was with his gf and when i saw him i was speechless. he was handsome and just casually looking like a REAL man . i wasn't even seeing myself close to his level to go and talk to him . today i actually got to talk to him . it was obvious that he has the manly energy and just overall being successful in life . i just can't get it. we used to go to same school same habbit same street we used to live in and now he's 100 times better than me . and the saddest part is i was aware of him being addicted to porn ( he knew that im fapping too ) before he leaves the neighbourhood for studying . in our conversation he actually mentioned how he became successful ( not directly to how he quitted porn but the things that he was saying were actually some porn quitting stuff ) . he said that after he moved he started new habbits such as reading book , gym, meditation, cold shower, studying hard and the most important he decreased the time being on phone ( that's the reason we weren't in touch anymore after he left ) . he talked about meditation a lot . he said that the meditation actually was the power of making him do all the stuff that i mentioned . all i got from our conversation is not being on phone actually make you overall a better person and if you just think about it for a sec if you dont use phone you just dont have to source for masturbating . im not saying stop using phone ( its impossible ) but saying decrease the time being on phone . after our conversation i cried for almost an hour . i really cant take being a porn addict anymore. not being a porn addict make people grow and i desperately want to quit who i am currently ( fapping at least 4 times a day ) . i wish you guys the best on this hard journey.

So, this is a long one:
The story begins about 4 months ago, as me M33 and GF 32 were preparing the christening of our baby boy, of almost a year old(We'd postponed due to me being away working a military contract for 6 months).
In the weeks leading up to the event, my GF started hearing from her younger half brother, 15. Her parents divorced when my GF was young. Dad had another child with his new wife. Despite my GF being 18 years older, shes is very close to her brother.
Which was a bit out of the ordinary, as that family are basically recluses, and dont reach out for anything. My GF will almost have to force the issue of a visit whenever we travel down to their parts.
We could tell he was building up to something. but stopped each time before actually telling her whats up. The week before the christening his mother called my GF amd told her that her brother had expressed a sincere desire to end his own life, The following week, a whole bunch of family, including my GF's dad, his wife and my GF's half brother traveled to our part of the country to attend our sons event. and this is where things really kicked off.
The Dads wife, who I will refer to as NB from here on out had gone completely off the rails. She would pester my gf, me. and anyone who'd listen in the immediate vicinity about her son.
What's the issue with that? you may be thinking, shes distraught about her son? two issues:

1. She'd do it while her son was in earshot.
   
2. I always suspected her to be a narcissist, and not in the way bitter chicks describe everyone of their exes, I do mean a full blown narcissist. This was more or less confirmed in the WAY she was speaking about the issue.
   

She would only talk about how this affected HER, how good of a mom she had been, and it couldnt possibly be anything she'd done. This got worse over the next days and weeks. She started this days before they came up, over the phone to my GF.
During the days right before and after, we had little bro live with us at our apartment, so he could have a break from his parents, and talk to some other adults about what was going on. We had long talks with him, both together and me and him seperately(man to man). It turns out he's been bullied severely over quite some time, and there is something else that in addition happened to him which he refused to tell, and is stil l refusing to. He also had no friends remaining, and has been more or less isolated at school. Grades slipping, and at home he has a mother who refused to aknowledge that her son is struggling, let alone lift a finger to help him. His dad is just whipped into submission and cant or wont do or say anything.
Now, and important part of the story, is that my GF work for the government specifically dealing with childrens rights, specifically in the school system. Her org has the final say on whether or not any given school has allocated enough resources to a struggling child or not. They also have the power to force the issue if the school board/management is dragging their feet, or have exuses as she likes to put it.
This is the reason why NB contacted my GF on this issue, as she has considerable expertise in the area.
TLDR so far: GF's brother needs help, My GF can help due to her job, We decide to:
The day after our sons christening, we met with little bro's parents and extended family. Both me and my GF took leaves of absence from work, booked flights and traveled down to her mom and stayed there for weeks.
We had little bro stay with us there for the first week. During this my GF involved her self with the school, her brothers specialists and got the necessary balls and offices rolling. Basically taken over the entire process of getting her brother help with the school, getting more resources allocated to helo him. Had him see a team of psychologists that specializes on kids in his situation on a weekly basis. This was all necessary due to the fact that the parents had done nothing. I would take the kid out to the gym, hiking, climbing and talk to him. All in an effort to give him an arena of mastery and personal control.
The second week, we stayed at NB's house in order to be closer to his shcool as my GF where attending some meetings with both management and the bureaucratic level above(her colleges from that part of the country). I stayed at home, and really got a good look at the family dynamics that house. We've visited before for a day or two before on several occasions and witnessed some controlling and down right bizarre behavior from NB in the past, but always chaulked it up to her being a bit of an eccentric and about as smart as a boiled pea. However, what we witnessed this time was someone gone completely off the rails, shed scream at her husband in front of me and my son, hurl accusations of him being unfaithful and even him SAing his son, me and the GF supposedly plotting with family members on her side(who we've never actually met, let alone plotted with or even talked to) to take her son from her, and a whole lot of other nonsense. Dad being whipped into oblivion, stood there and took it, saying nothing.
We left the house, took little bro with us, and stayed with GFs mom the next 11 days. We drafted a message to childrens services in conjunction with other members of extended family who had witnessed NBs behavior during the christening.
During this entire process my GF was stressed out with concern with her brother, and having to talk to that sociopath daily didn't help either, as she was subtly and gradually being eaten up by NB.
We talked many times about it. I reminded her time and time again not to take anything NB said at face value. My MIL did the same, every day. We reminded her that she'd done all she could for her brother and now she needed to drop it and let the experts sort it out.
Shortly after we went back home,.but my GF was still trapped in her own head with thoughts about her brother,.NB and her brothers supposed SA. It got worse and worse, despite me, close friends and colleagues talking with her, she refused to listen and let the experts handle it. I talked to childrens services a few weeks later and confirmed that they'd started an investigation. I relayed this to GF and payed for another session with a shrink for her. She would come out of the session feeling better, more calm and accepting, only to dive head long into her brothers case as soon as she came home.
I finally told her that enough is enough, you are neglecting your own son. You have been told hundreds of times at this point to take a step back and let the professionals handle this. Your son is crying at your feet while you are on your computer or phone with this thing.
She looked down at her crying son, and I thought she finally realized what she was doing. We had a talk about it and things seemed to be better for a week or so, then I had to leave for a military exercise for about 4 days. I thought she was good, and none of her friends or colleges had reach olled out to me and told me anything about her involving herself again (as they and me had agreed to).
When I got home the following week, I came home to a house in a state of chaos, dishes overflowing, clothes everywhere, laundry hamper full and a son who hadn't bathed in 3 days.
I again sent her to a shrink, and a few close friends helped by talking to her about her priorities, reminding her about her son, and that the professionals where handling little bros situation. She seem to accept this again, except I found her several times sitting on her phone or computer in the middle of the night. The following days she stopped eating, she stopped sleeping, and started showing signs of manic behavior, such as staying in our bedroom in the middle of the day, masturbating 14 times(all in a bid to try to satisfy a growing need for control of just something)And the following Sunday I had no choice to have her admitted.
She is at the facility now, she's going to be there for a long time, and I can't visit her without her relapsing back into trying to talk about, or having me do something about her brother. She doesn't even notice her boy when she's like that.
Now here I am, alone in our apartment with my boy, having lost my security clearance over this thing, my contract is up for renewal, but without the clearance they pulled three offers. I am now unemployed, can't continue my side business due to the hours as a single father without daycare options at the moment. I am officially on sick leave due to this, Wich should keep us a float in the short term.
But I have essentially lost my family, two careers and almost my sanity over my significant others complete inability to just fucking listen for once. She was told hundreds of times to lay off, she was warnes hundreds of times to not let NB eat her up. She was told hundreds of times to remember her own family in this. She was warned dosuins of times of the likely consequences for both our careers, and our son's future if she let herself slip over the edge.
Despite this, she constructed a reality for herself in which her, and only her could save her brother. She neglected her own child, her own well being and her own career in this fantasy of hers, despite being warned to not do exactly that, by no less than 6 different people, and two professionals.
I'm devastated, my son doesent understand why mom isn't here, and is crying himself to sleep every other night. And I can't help but feel resentful towards my GF.
What the fuck do I do now?

Throwaway because I only lurk on reddit. I'm 27, the girl was 24. Dated for 2 months.
Like I don't know where to even begin. I even have no idea why am I writing this but I just feel so ultimately broken that it hurts in a way that I thought is impossible. I feel so empty, like I wanna cry and scream but there are no tears and there is just silence and me staring at the wall and having thousands of thoughts at once and I'm not sure what to do about it.
I started dating this cutest girl on March and everything was as smooth as a butter. We met on an app. I knew she has attatchment issues and etc but I was patient and honest and wanted to wait with physical stuff because she mentioned its important for her to feel comfortable and stuff and I was very understanding as always and thought that I finally found someone who has the same approach to relationship and wants to build something on honesty and go with the flow, don't force anything and so on. I did not want to rush anything and we were going at our own steady pace. I never want to do any physical stuff very early on in the relationship, we only did some light stuff, like kissing, touching each other above the waist and such. Very "polite". We both communicated our goals, relationship-wise and such. We both wanted the same thing, a life partner. We both said we are monogamous and we just need one person and no one else and everything was peachy.
So we always were on good terms in person but texting was a bit of a struggle, we usually had fights (like twice) on texting apps (never in person though). Time spent IRL though was like the best time possible for both of us and we were super comfy with each other like I never felt before actually.
Now, there was a time (like 2 weeks) when we didn't see each other at all. During that time we had one of those fights she gave me silent treatment for like 3 days. Now I think this is passive aggressive manipulation technique which is a deal breaker to me. But I thought "damn this girl is really cool besides that little issue, I'll give her a chance, maybe she's just stressed out or something". It went on for like 3-4 days and we started talking again and it was good.
The fight was about something we were supposed to talk about IRL (and I panicked because it sounded very serious) but then she mentioned it was just that she won't be able to spend a day with me in next month (a specific, special day that we were supposed to spend with each other). Not a big deal and I was suspicious that this was the thing she wanted to talk in person. She mentioned "I have no idea what is your approach to these things" when I asked what she wanted to talk about in person (before we had fight) and it keeps ringing a bell now - I'll explain later. We met up later after making up and, we have good time, everything felt right, idk. The fight was caused by me because apparently I "freaked out" (because I've never heard good news in my life when I've heard "we have to talk" from someone I'm dating).
I won't mention that she was talking like relationship is a huge step and she isnt sure about it and she wants to go at her own pace and things like that. I was okay with that, I was affectionate and she was usually cold towards that saying that she doesnt want to get attatched and similar things and at the same time talking dirty to me sometimes. I also should mention that she has a ton of guy friends.
Then we had another fight about some stupid thing like before too. Like basically meaningless stuff that did not matter at all. It ended with her not messaging me for 6 days straight and I just got tired and deleted her everywhere besides one app because if she acts like a child so be it. Play stupid games win stupid prizes. Like 1-2 hours after I have done that she messages me like nothing happens. I am 100% sure its not a coincidence and she only messaged me because she noticed that. And then she mentions that I deleted her everywhere and how nice it is of me. Then I just told her that I don't see us having a future because she keeps using silent treatment which is a deal breaker to me. And she laughs at me saying that I was not on silent treatment (though we ended last convo on a fight) and I'm a clingy insecure incel or something like that. I was over it anyway since the last fight and didn't feel a thing so we just had few messages back and forth - I was trying to be as polite as possible, she was trying quite the opposite. Then she blocked me. Then she unblocked me after 20 minutes. Just to mention that now she does not regret having sex with her "situationship" 2 weeks ago.
The "situationship" is like a close guy friend that had a crush on her but she rejected him. She had multiple of those. She had more guy friends than I have lol. She had multiple of exes with which she was still very close and friendly. At the same time she says she only slept only with one guy ever (its not like it matters but Im pretty sure it was a lie now). I'm not jealous or anything. I am just scared that this is the type of girls I will be seeing now in the future. It's like 3rd time I'm seeing someone like that. I know we didn't promise each other anything but we became close and we dated exclusively and she had sex with someone (and felt guilty about it for a reason).
I was over it yesterday and didn't want to date her anyway but now it's like somebody stabbed me multiple times in my stomach and twisted the knife badly. I feel physically ill, I didn't eat since that conversation and it was like 5 hours ago. I just don't know what to do with myself. Are those girls the only girls that will date me? Can I for once be a first option for someone and not just a spare part? I'm just so sad, man, I wish someone would just hug me and tell me it's okay to cry. I feel like vomiting after finding out she was seeing me and kissing me after having sex with a guy 2 weeks before.
I just can't stand how she intentionally decided to hurt me in the worst way possible, I wish she didn't say that but at the same time I deserve the truth though. But it was said like "in your face, bitch, I had sex with someone when we were dating and that wasn't you, you loser".
"I have no idea what is your approach to these things" rings a bell now. Because she said it like 3 days after she fucked that "friend" of hers. So she felt guilty because she knew that she has done something shitty. She gave me specific date when they had sex and it all adds up. She lied to me. Multiple times apparently. She didn't know what is my approach to those things meaning she did not know how I would react to "oh i had sex with someone else". And she only informed me about it when we had a huge fight. So she never thought about me seriously and just wasted my time.
By the way - throughout those 2 months I saw multiple times her pics on dating profile change, her bio change, her location change and other details about her change in the app. Constantly. Like every 10 days or so there was a small change. It's not like I was checking it every hour but like once every 2 weeks or so just to look at her mostly lol because I really liked looking at her.
I bought flowers for this girl. I was pouring compliment after compliment until she was blushing and almost cried with happiness. I was there for her mental breakdowns and I just always provided support, I was thinking about her all the time. I fucking bought a post card for her when I had small vacations. I wrote it specifically for her putting some easter eggs inside that only we both can laugh at. I almost told her that I love her and I only said that to 2 people in my life so far. We both assured each other multiple times that we are exclusive and we both don't want to date any other person and we want to keep dating each other and progress into relationship phase. I was doing literally anything I could thought of to make her feel secure and comfortable. Meanwhile she had sex with someone and stated that she doesn’t feel any guilt about it because we weren’t in the relationship. Like what? We were already going on dates, several dates. And she stated that she did „what a good friend would do”. Like I don’t really want to date anyone after reading all of that. How shitty can one person be?
Is there a chance that I will meet a girl who won't do things like this ever? This is like second time I'm going through some kind of infidelity stuff and it's just... I'm tired boss. My last relationship ended after 2 years because my gf was unfaithful. She basically was sleeping around and sexting multiple people. I just want to find my one and only and be the romantic guy who appreciates the other person 24/7 and is caring and loving and would do literally anything for that special someone. I want to see sunsets and sunrises and look into her eyes and think that I don't want to look into any other eyes. I want to fall in love so deeply that I literally want to spend each hour with that person. I am always honest, focused 100% on only the person I'm seeing and not seeing any other people around and not caring about any other "date opportunities" or stuff like that. She made me open up about things that previously took years for me to speak about. She gave me more compliments in those 2 months than I ever heard in my whole life previously. She made me feel loved. She made me feel wonderful, blissful. And at the same time she stabbed me multiple times and I bleed it out.
Like I have all these questions:

• How am I supposed to trust someone after such a betrayal when they have been acting so perfectly good to me and were so supportive, nice and "honest" all the time besides that one time where they cheated on me?
• Am I not worthy of loving?
• Not worthy of faithfulness?
• Not worthy of a proper communication?
• Not worthy of honesty?
• Does everybody lie? Why do people do this?
• Why do I have to go through all of these experiences one after another, can't like I have a good time with someone and hear that I'm great and it's all good but the vibe isn't quite there or something like that?
• Why do I always have to be hurt in the worst way possible? I've never broken up with anyone before. I always give chances and never lose hope unless something really bad happened.
• Will it ever stop?
• Will I have to keep living and experiencing more and more painful relations until I physically cannot take it anymore?
• Why have I never felt NOT alone throughout my life?
• Why is everyone I'm dating so toxic?
• What's the deal with dating world these days? There is always another option but that doesn't mean shitty behavior is acceptable or something.
• Why is that pain more powerful each time?
• Does loyalty even exist these days?
• Why. Just why. Jesus christ.

If you will read this – I know you use reddit – I wish you to never feel the way you made me feel. I’m absolutely destroyed, you ruined me. I told you that I trust you. You destroyed it. I will always have trust issues towards any woman in my life forever until I die. I hope you’re proud of your little manipulational psychological tricks and immature behaviour. Your actions always have consequences.

Does anyone ever feel like they are in competition with their BIL and SIL?
To give some background, my boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over 3 years now. For some context he is an identical twin so he and his brother are often compared in everything they do.
Things have been going great since the first time he's brought me home in the beginning of our relationship. I've not only built a relationship with him but his family as well. Throughout our relationship me and my brother in-law have always been close. He'd always come to me for relationship advice, general advice, or even just a shoulder to cry on during some pretty dark times.
Fast forward to just a year ago and my brother in-law started to date a girl and eventually brought her home to meet the rest of my boyfriends family. Before they came over I went over to my in-laws house and helped to watch their dogs and house while his family was out of town visiting my brother in-law and his new girlfriend in a different state. As he was bringing his new girlfriend back home with them for the first time, I made it a point to get them food, clean the house, and even clean their bedroom that was not clean yet. Upon meeting his girlfriend for the first time I picked them up from the airport greeting them with my bubbly personality as this is how I am naturally.
From the start things seemed to be a little off. The first interaction I had with her went something like "Hi welcome!! I've heard so much about you! :)" only to be returned with a shy "hi" followed with her turning to his parents and saying "now that I've seen her I feel like I should've dressed up more". For some context I am very girly and his family knows I always wear dresses so this is normal. Once we got in the car we started to getting to know each other a little more by making small talk. Some of the conversation seemed like they were trying to one up me. We do have a lot of things in common such as being in the healthcare industry, being the same ethnicity, and being from the same state. Because of this I felt like every time I would share something that happened to be relatable about my career or life it would be immediately followed by my brother in-law backing up his new girlfriend by saying something like "she actually does this a lot more" and even once said that she is more mature than I am.
Once we got home my brother in law automatically said "let's see who our dog runs to first, you or [his new girlfriend]". Not only that, but on that same day my BIL began to get defensive whenever my boyfriends mom would try to catch up on things with me. This lead so far as to him pulling her into a different room and complaining that she is not giving enough attention to his new girlfriend and is focused too much on catching up with me.
Long story short, ever since then things have always felt like a big competition between my BIL and his new girlfriend. Situations such as getting gifts for the parents or comparing successes in our careers. Every interaction with them feels like they are constantly trying to one up us. My BIL new gf tries to maintain their new relationship by catching up with his parents and grandparents for any life update that she personally has but never includes my boyfriend and I.
Hoping that someone here has gone through a similar experience. My BIL has had different girlfriends before but this has never happened and we've always had a close friendship. I really just want to gain some insight on this situation and why they are so competitive (especially my SIL).

I just want to vent and babble bit. Let's talk by order of ABC

ISO

the newest addition to the roster of the duelist, ISO coming his way from China with his weird ability to cobble up radianite wave from the G5 tower was honestly an extremely underwhelming addition to the game, in terms of lore, he was basically a stepping stone for Omen to fill in, and in terms of gameplay well he was certainly something.
Let's talk about his ability :

• Iso signature is IMO one of the most non-intuitive ability that Riot has ever put out, It needs to be charge before use, it needs a kill, it needs you to shoot again after killing the enemy and the placement of the target is off from the usual enemy placement, it has so much restriction for such a meager reward, it boggles my mind that this ability was given the ok pass by Riot design team.
• The Great Cardboard of China is Iso only space making ability, and it's just terrible. The ability to block bullets with no durability is neat, but the trade-off for that is just not worth it, the wall is so small it could barely hide anything and the fact it's uncontrollable just add to the unreliableness of the ability.

Iso Identity as an Agent is just so weird, he isn't that good at supporting that he can be considered an Initiator, nor is he that good at making space and surviving for a duelist, the fact that Clove was added after him, with a better execution of the idea of his kit was just sad. I hope they rework him soon, support duelist is a neat concept that Clove executes nicely, hope he can recover his own identity.

JETT

The poster girl of valorant, hailing from somewhere in Korea she makes me thankful that the dev didn't let the director take over and make her a kpop girl, lorewise doesn't have anything noteworthy to add beside being a grunt but gameplaywise she is anything but, let's talk about her gameplay pattern.
She is one of the most fun agents to play around with, she has a low skill floor but she is one of the most fun agents to get a high skill ceiling with, her ability can be combo and her smoke controllability is insane, I don't think I can really do justice writing it here, she is just an honest to god a fun agent, her versatility never makes her bad, and her skill expression never really make the agent feels boring to play.
Just by playing her, you can sense that you can do so much more and IMO that makes her one of the best agent to be created.

NEON

The less problematic sister of the electric twins from the Philippine, unlike her sisters who crash her lightning into the rift and wreak havoc like a thunderstorm, Neon was more subdued in comparison which is neither here nor there. The linking between the series could've been so much more IMO, I wish they did more to bridge the gap with league and valorant. Oh yeah storywise, she has electric power, cool I guess? Duelist has the problem of having a lack luster story behind them tbh.
Well let's not be too negative, Neon gameplay is anything but lack luster, her movement from her signature is one of the most mechanically scary ability this game has, the amount of things you need to do for her movement is just pure madness from my POV, I'm not really a merchant of Neon, so I don't really have much to say about her beside she has a hell of a banger of a trailer.
P.S I wish they do more with her energy bar, maybe more effect when she has 80% energy? Maybe her relay bolt will take 20% charge and give additional two bounce? I'm just spitballing, I just wish the energy management is more complex she is already mechanically hard, so it would be more rewarding if she gives more reward to play around with.

Phoenix

Our poster boy of the game, who launch himself from the 40 percent club straight into top 3 in win rate by a single flash buff, hailing from the UK it surprises me that Jett was the one that has the hobby of collecting knives, also he has backstory about how he burned down a school or smthng? Average day in england, tbh.
Enough with the jab to our friends from the UK, it honestly a bit surprising by how much people still think Phoenix is weak and is in need of buffs with how high his winrate is, I know people like to glaze Kay/o because pro use him but like Phoenix presence in the SoloQ is top 3 in every elo, this guy doesn't need more buff, while he is one of two duelists that has no movement buff or a blink in his kit people honestly underestimate him too much beacuse of that, his kit is very practical and safe, making sure he is always on top in any exchange.
A bit of a trivia it kinda shocks me that Jett and Phoenix kit is a swap of their personality, Jett is a simple practical girl with a flashy kit while Phoenix is a flashy show-off with a very simple kit. I wonder if that was intentional.

RAZE

Honestly Raze to me is an agent that I'm not really interested in, she provides upfront damage, area control and outplay potential with her satchel, KJ is also her gf too I guess.

REYNA

A vampiric lich hailing from the heart of Mexico she has that latino feel in her and a fondness for her little hermana, one of the agents that has an actual story she has goals outside the org itself and has a very interesting take on what the supreme race is, beside having a controversial opinion about race she is also a controversial agent in the community.
As the noob stomper or smurf agent, Reyna reputation as a whole is in hot water and her whole kit only working if you get kill, making her one of the most volatile choice of pick, in terms of usefulness if you're new but in the hand of someone who can hit their shot against someone who don't? It's a terrific sight, just like how she likes it. Her smurfing potential, is honestly all inside her ult, I wish they bump her ult to 7.
Last thing, she is the best agent it term of pure execution of an idea. The execution of the idea of a predator preying on its prey, is so well executed on her kit. If she is alone, she can easily nourish herself, if she is outnumbered she can dismiss away looking for another prey and when that Ult hit holy, it's like a beast was unleashed and boy does it feel that way the maniacal laugh, the way your bullets is futile against her if she isn't quickly dispatch and the ability to pick the prey off one by one even in an outnumber setting Jesus, she is a genuine predator of an agent.
Also, P.S the best player card in the game, the way that the sun replace the hole in her chest just goes way too hard.

YORU

The most macro heavy of the agent, with the ability to teleport his way into his own grave Yoru is certainly an agent with quite a unique way to fit himself into the duelist role. A freeloader in the protocol, Yoru is basically a name only agent in the roster, as he is more focus on his ancestry rather than caring about whatever valorant is doing right now.
It's honestly a bit surprising that this is our resident stealth character when he is the most flashy and loud character in the game, abilities wise the mind game you can do with his ability is second to none and the way his kit work with each other with the addition of the decoy was honestly surprisingly very flowy? Yoru is a great addition unlike our newest one, the personality is there and the style is there I wish his sheriff skin was the same.
Thanks for reading my vent, I honestly thought I have more in the woodworks.

When I was 13 (around the start of 8th grade) I liked this girl ,(at the time 13, who I’ll call “EX”), and asked her out about 2 weeks into knowing her (I knew her a little previously) and I guess we started dating. About a week or two later she started being more sexual. She sent me videos talking about sexual things she’d want to do to me and I didn’t know whether to be uncomfortable or aroused. I decided to do the same back to her but a lot more straightforward and I’d just suggest stuff. The point of this isn’t about her but instead about this new girl(15, who I’ll call GF) I’m 15 now (end of 9th) and I really like GF who likes me back too. We’ve been talking for 9 months and we both confessed we liked each other around February this year. We aren’t technically dating since she needs permission from her mom but I told her that when we do, she’d be my first girlfriend. I feel guilty about saying that since I guess I technically dated EX. And that has me thinking a lot of how much of a bad person I was since I also told her that (when we kissed) that was my first kiss. And I felt more guilty thinking of all the stuff I did with EX. I’ll spare you the time by saying we got sexual (no sex), hugged, kissed, and way more stuff that I told GF I’ve never done. I’ve made GF think like I’m an innocent person. My relationship with EX was kinda public (my mom didn’t know) but I still felt a little embarrassed with her in school for a reason I don’t know. I also decided that one night to start telling people that she sexual assaulted me (after we broke up) for some reason. I assume I felt like she did but I don’t remember. I also also decided it would be funny to “make a joke” that I would only go to bed if she sent me a nude, kinda like the “when pigs can fly” phrase basically meaning she’d never do that. She did do that and I felt extremely bad. I let all of that go and was fine until I met GF. I now fear that 2 years later all of that will come back to bite me and ruin my relationship with GF who I care so much about. I also feel disgusting for lying to GF about her being my first girlfriend, kiss, among other things. I feel like a shitty human being as I have for a while. Worst thing is that EX was a mutual friend to a lot of people I fear that she has proof of me doing all of that stuff and is going to expose, which would ruin me and GF’s relationship. Me not saying all of that isn’t technically hurting our relationship since most of that I felt wasn’t out of love but I’m 100% sure I’m feeding into my own delusional thoughts. I keep trying to justify it by saying reasons for all that stuff such as saying that because I dated EX in middle school that it’s not a real relationship. I genuinely hate myself and I’m trying so hard to move on even with the guilt. If I tell her it would ruin our relationship and then I’d have nobody. I completely deserve this and I want to kill myself. But I at least want to try to change before I do so. I am a horrible person.