Hi, I am working on my Uni semester project where we are supposed to create an API. To separate my API from frontend I am using docker and all of the GET functions work properly, including some single argument POSTs, but now I am trying to figure out my PUT function to update user (predefined in db for testing), as well as POST to register one.
Basically I am sending a request to my API for UPDATE:

response = requests.put(f"{API_URL}/users/{user_id}", json={"user_data": merged_data}) 

and for POST:

response = requests.post(f"{API_URL}/cafeteria/users", json=user_data) 

Both of these are requests I am sending from my CLI frontend to my API_URL (localhost:8000/culinarycafeteria). As I mentioned before other functions like GET work this way just as expected, but these always get the error TypeError: update() missing 1 required positional argument: 'user_data'. Any Idea how to fix that?
My api specifications for the update and create user are these:

openapi: 3.0.0 info: title: "CulinaryCampus API" description: "An API for managing cafeteria operations at a school" version: "1.0.0" servers: - url: "/culinarycampus" components: schemas: User: type: "object" required: - last_name - first_name - iban - password properties: user_id: type: "integer" first_name: type: "string" last_name: type: "string" email: type: "string" phone: type: "string" iban: type: "string" description: "Assigned IBAN for payments" password: type: "string" credits: type: "integer" description: "Number of credits available for lunch orders" default: 0 parameters: user_id: name: "user_id" description: "Unique identifier for user" in: path required: true schema: type: "integer" /cafeteria/users: get: operationId: "functions.list_users" tags: - Cafeteria summary: "List users" responses: "200": description: "Successfully retrieved users list" post: operationId: "functions.create_user_account" tags: - Cafeteria summary: "Create user account" requestBody: description: "User account information" required: true content: application/json: schema: $ref: "#/components/schemas/User" responses: "201": description: "Successfully created user account" put: operationId: "functions.edit_user_information" tags: - Cafeteria summary: "Edit user information" parameters: - $ref: "#/components/parameters/user_id" requestBody: description: "Updated user information" required: true content: application/json: schema: $ref: "#/components/schemas/User" responses: "200": description: "Successfully updated user information" /users/{user_id}: get: operationId: "functions.read_one" tags: - Users summary: "View user information" parameters: - $ref: "#/components/parameters/user_id" responses: "200": description: "Successfully retrieved user information" "404": description: "User not found" delete: operationId: "functions.remove_user_account" tags: - Cafeteria summary: "Remove user account" parameters: - $ref: "#/components/parameters/user_id" responses: "204": description: "Successfully deleted user account" put: operationId: "functions.update" tags: - Users summary: "Update user information" parameters: - $ref: "#/components/parameters/user_id" responses: "200": description: "Successfully updated user information" requestBody: content: application/json: schema: type: "object" properties: first_name: type: "string" last_name: type: "string" email: type: "string" phone: type: "string" iban: type: "string" credits: type: "integer" password: type: "string" nullable: true 

The backend functions are called automatically through connexion:

import connexion app = connexion.FlaskApp(__name__) app.add_api("api.yml") app.run(port=8000, debug=True) 

These are the functions that are called for PUT:

def update(user_id, user_data): """ Update user information in the database. Args: user_id (int): The ID of the user to update. user_data (dict): A dictionary containing updated user information. Returns: bool: True if the update was successful, False otherwise. """ try: connection = create_connection() cursor = connection.cursor(dictionary=True) query = "UPDATE users SET first_name=%s, last_name=%s, email=%s, phone=%s, iban=%s, credits=%s WHERE user_id=%s" cursor.execute(query, ( user_data['first_name'], user_data['last_name'], user_data['email'], user_data['phone'], user_data['iban'], user_data['credits'], user_id )) connection.commit() cursor.close() connection.close() print("User updated successfully") return True except mysql.connector.Error as error: print("Error while updating user information:", error) return False 

and for POST:

def create_user_account(user_data): """ Create a new user account. Args: user_data (dict): A dictionary containing user information. Returns: bool: True if the user account was created successfully, False otherwise. """ print(user_data) try: connection = create_connection() cursor = connection.cursor(dictionary=True) query = "INSERT INTO users (first_name, last_name, email, phone, iban, credits, password) VALUES (%s, %s, %s, %s, %s, %s, %s)" cursor.execute(query, ( user_data['first_name'], user_data['last_name'], user_data['email'], user_data['phone'], user_data['iban'], user_data['credits'], user_data['password'] )) connection.commit() cursor.close() connection.close() return True except mysql.connector.Error as error: print("Error while creating user account:", error) return False 

these functions are being called based on requests sent by my CLI frontend PUT:

def list_users(): """ Retrieve a list of users from the API. Returns: list: List of user dictionaries. """ try: response = requests.get(f"{API_URL}/cafeteria/users") response.raise_for_status() users = response.json() all_users = [] for user in users: all_users.append({ 'user_id': user['user_id'], 'first_name': user['first_name'], 'last_name': user['last_name'], 'email': user['email'], 'phone': user['phone'], 'iban': user['iban'], 'credits': user['credits'] }) return all_users except requests.exceptions.RequestException as e: print("Error retrieving user list:", e) return None def update(email, updated_data): """ Update user information via the API. Args: email (str): The email of the user to update. updated_data (dict): A dictionary containing updated user information. Returns: dict: API response. """ try: # Retrieve user information based on email user = read_one(email) if not user: print("User not found.") return None print("User found:", user) print("User data:", updated_data) # Merge updated data with existing user data merged_data = {**user, **updated_data} # Remove user_id from the merged data if it's present if 'user_id' in merged_data: del merged_data['user_id'] if 'password' not in updated_data: merged_data.pop('password', None) print("Merged data:", merged_data) # Extract user ID user_id = user['user_id'] print("User ID:", user_id) # Send request to update user data response = requests.put(f"{API_URL}/users/{user_id}", json={"user_data": merged_data}) response.raise_for_status() return response.json() except requests.exceptions.RequestException as e: print("Error updating user information:", e) return None 

POST:

def create_user_account(user_data): """ Create a user account via the API. Args: user_data (dict): A dictionary containing user information. Returns: dict: API response. """ response = requests.post(f"{API_URL}/cafeteria/users", json=user_data) if response.status_code == 201: return response.json() else: response.raise_for_status() 

Main function for CLI using argparse, and werkzeug.security:

def main(): parser = argparse.ArgumentParser(description="CulinaryCampus Admin CLI") # Add arguments for read_one, update, and create_user_account functions parser.add_argument('--read-one', action='store_true', help='Retrieve user information') parser.add_argument('--update', action='store_true', help='Update user information') parser.add_argument('--create-account', action='store_true', help='Create a new user account') parser.add_argument('--remove-account', action='store_true', help='Remove a user account') parser.add_argument('--list-users', action='store_true', help='List all users') parser.add_argument('-u', '--user-id', type=int, help='User ID') parser.add_argument('-n', '--first-name', type=str, help='First name of the user') parser.add_argument('-s', '--last-name', type=str, help='Last name of the user') parser.add_argument('-e', '--email', type=str, help='Email of the user') parser.add_argument('-ph', '--phone', type=str, help='Phone number of the user') parser.add_argument('-i', '--iban', type=str, help='IBAN of the user') parser.add_argument('-c', '--credits', type=int, default=0, help='Credits for the user') parser.add_argument('-pw', '--password', type=str, help='Password for the user') args = parser.parse_args() if args.read_one: if args.email: user_info = read_one(args.email) if user_info is not None: print("User information:") print(user_info) else: print("Error: Email is required for reading user information.") if args.update: if args.email: user_data = {} if args.first_name: user_data['first_name'] = args.first_name if args.last_name: user_data['last_name'] = args.last_name if args.email: user_data['email'] = args.email if args.phone: user_data['phone'] = args.phone if args.iban: user_data['iban'] = args.iban if args.credits: user_data['credits'] = args.credits updated_user = update(args.email, user_data) if updated_user is not None: print("User information updated successfully:", updated_user) else: print("Error: Email is required for updating user information.") if args.create_account: if all([args.first_name, args.last_name, args.email, args.phone, args.iban, args.password]): user_data = { "first_name": args.first_name, "last_name": args.last_name, "email": args.email, "phone": args.phone, "iban": args.iban, "password": generate_password_hash(str(args.password), method="sha256"), "credits": args.credits } try: new_user = create_user_account(user_data) print("User created successfully:", new_user) except requests.exceptions.HTTPError as err: print(f"Error creating user account: {err}") else: print("Error: All fields (first name, last name, email, phone, iban, and password) are required for creating a new user account.") if args.remove_account: if args.user_id: response = remove_user_account(args.user_id) if response is not None: print("User account removed successfully") else: print("Error: User ID is required for removing a user account.") if args.list_users: users = list_users() if users is not None: print("List of users:") print(users) if __name__ == "__main__": main() 

From queries you might already figure out i am working with mySQL database:

CREATE TABLE users ( user_id INT AUTO_INCREMENT PRIMARY KEY, first_name VARCHAR(50) NOT NULL, last_name VARCHAR(50) NOT NULL, email VARCHAR(100) UNIQUE, phone VARCHAR(20), iban VARCHAR(30) NOT NULL, credits INT NOT NULL DEFAULT 0, password VARCHAR(256) NOT NULL, token VARCHAR(255) DEFAULT NULL ); 

I am very grateful for any ideas you come up with. I am already desperate as I am just learning these thing and I couldn´t figure it out for a week now xD.
Thank you in advance for any comments and Ideas I might try.

I’ve done quite a bit of research on my small claims case but have been dragging my feet. I’d already done most of the leg work in identifying corporate filings, etc. In a moment of weakness, I regrettably used SquabbleApp to help file small claims docs. I would’ve been happy to pay the fee if the information that they’d provided had been correct, but I believe it to be inaccurate.
I’m suing a very popular service-based nationwide app for which I was an independent contractor (it is not an employment status dispute.)
The services I was contracted to provide were in my state of California, but the headquarters of the business are out of state. The company has a registered agent for process in CA. I am under the impression based on Nolo that I can file here and serve the registered agent so it’s in my jurisdiction.
Squabble sent me paperwork stating I must file in the headquartered state. When I sent an email asking about this, I got a rude response and now I don’t know what to think. I cannot recommend them even with reservations.
Can I file in CA? Help is much appreciated.

My (24F) ex boyfriend (25M) and I met on Hinge in March. We became very close in the span of two weeks after our first date. After becoming official at the end of March, he decided two weeks later that he was not ready for a relationship and needed time to focus on himself spiritually, physically, financially, etc. He has asked to write letters, but we have texted and called here and there.
This concept ruined me. I was upset, confused, lost, because I did allow the honeymoon phase to affect my feelings and quickly said I love you. He reciprocated. I am still angry at him.
I am not asking for criticism about our relationship, how fast things have happened, etc. My parents are the issue here. The night he met my father, was the day he would break things off (until he could read the Bible front to back and “when life is back in normal standing”).
My mother and father forbid me to see him. My mother is far more unsupportive and wants to weigh-in. She has threatened to take my car keys. He lives in the twin cities with an extreme crime rate. I would not dare drive to his apartment anyways.
My mother is a thorn in my side. Every time I bring up letters (he’s written 3; 2 emails) she gives me a look like I’m crazy. I have avoided talking about him at all costs. For some context, my mom and I have always clashed, she is not supportive as I am Christian and she is an atheist.
He has promised to rekindle in the beginning of July after his move (where he lives is not safe and too expensive).
Help. I live with my mother so my independence is not fully there. I have never wanted to listen to her and even more so now. I crave independence.
Her anger may have rubbed off on me for a time, but I love my ex and I don’t see him the way she does. I cannot see myself with anyone else as he is my first real relationship. He has too many responsibilities in June which is why I can see him and I’m glad for more time apart after thinking about it because we truly were obsessed and rushing into things. We will set boundaries once we reconnect.

Sunday 2 June, 2pm-4pm

Auckland - Rafah is Burning! Te Komititanga - Britomart

Israel drives Palestinians in Gaza into what Israel calls a Safe zone in Rafah. Then Deliberately Bombs it, setting it alight. Any sense of moral decency and respect for International Law has gone. Israel spurns them all. Come rally to call on the New Zealand government to take serious action. Not just mouth platitudes. This is Genocide. Send the Israeli Ambassador home. Link: https://www.facebook.com/events/821105966132016
Monday 3 June, 2-5.30pm

Tāmaki Makaurau For A Free Kanaky, 372 Massey Road, Māngere East

Come along to Māngere East Community Centre to listen and talanoa with guest speakers in solidarity with the Kanak struggle for independence. No alcohol & no violence is permitted on premises. Link: https://www.instagram.com/p/C7qCqmEvVdG/
Tuesday 4 June - Friday 5 June, 9am-1pm

Online Te Tiriti O Waitangi workshops (over two mornings), online via Zoom

An online workshop for those needing an up-to-date overview of Te Tiriti o Waitangi. The programme is split over two mornings. Click here to register via Eventbrite: https://www.eventbrite.co.nz/e/online-te-tiriti-o-waitangi-workshop-over-two-mornings-registration-890047103847 Your registration is for BOTH dates.
PART 1: Tuesday 4 June 2024 9.00 am - 1:00 pm via Zoom (with beaks!) How we connect to Te Tiriti as people from many backgrounds. The political context leading to a declaration in 1835 and a treaty in 1840. What the signatories agreed to.
PART 2: Wednesday 5 June 2024 9.00 am - 1:00 pm via Zoom (with breaks!) A history of colonisation: Crown actions and Māori resistance
The Treaty Principles Bill & current political context Matike Mai: a future vision for Aotearoa
This is an interactive workshop, not a webinar, so spaces are limited. Run by Tauiwi facilitators from Tangata Tiriti - Treaty People www.treatypeople.org If cost is a barrier to your being able to attend, please feel free to drop us an email: treatypeople@gmail.com If you can't make this one but would like to find out about the next opportunity, follow our Facebook page to hear about future dates or sign up here: http://eepurl.com/h3OtG1 Payment required. Link: https://www.facebook.com/events/1173576827137589/1173576837137588/
Tuesday 4 June, 6.30-8.30pm

Timebank Gathering: What’s been happening and what’s next, Gribblehirst Community Hub

The evening will be focused on reconnecting and sharing food. Timebank Auckland Central will also update on projects happening and a chance to hear about some exchanges. Newcomers welcome but it is a social evening rather than the usual offers and requests discovery session. Bring a dish if it’s easy. Timebank Auckland Central will sort out food closer to the time as they might like to set a meal theme. What is timebanking? Timebanking is a way to connect to your community while sharing and exchanging skills, goods and resources using time instead of money as the currency. All time is equally valued and this idea builds community and supports people in creative and interesting ways. Link: https://www.facebook.com/events/1591071891705984/
Wednesday 5 June, 4-6pm

Speaking truth to power & keeping your job, online via Zoom

This webinar by Stop Institutional Racism is for kaimahi who want to get an expert steer on speaking up about Te Tiriti and racism in the workplace at this time. Link: https://www.stirnz.org/event-details/speaking-truth-to-power-keeping-your-job-1
Saturday 8 June, 1-3pm

March for Nature, Aotea Square

On Saturday, June 8, at 1 pm, environmentalists will March for Nature in a peaceful protest against this Government’s reckless attacks on environmental protection. Either RSVP and just show up on the day, or if you want updates and/or you're keen to get involved in promotion or help on the day, head over to www.marchfornature.nz Environmentalists will march against mining on conservation land, against new oil and gas exploration, seabed mining and they'll march against the Luxon Government's War on Nature and against the one-stop shop for environmental destruction that is the fast-track approvals bill. They'll march because the fast-track bill undermines our democracy and Te Tiriti o Waitangi. The march organisers are a broad coalition of environmental groups, led by Greenpeace, Forest & Bird, Coromandel Watchdog, Kiwis Against Seabed Mining, Coal Action Network Aotearoa, WWF New Zealand, Ours Not Mines - and they expect many more will join as they go. Link: https://www.facebook.com/events/458893309952335/
Friday 14 June, 3.30-8pm

June Cook Up, Gribblehirst Community Hub

Food Not Bombs Tāmaki Makaurau have been blessed with some wonderful food donations so this month's cook up is looking at being their most delicious yet!!!! Their next Cook up will be Friday 14 June. Food Not Bombs was started with the premise that food is a basic right. They rescue food that would otherwise be wasted and make vegan meals for the community. All are welcome to attend their cook ups of vegan food that has been rescued from landfill and donated by members of the community, as well as businesses who support our kaupapa of feeding the community through love, mutual aid and non-violence. Attendance is always free and open to everyone, and human kids and furkidsmore than welcome as long as they're okay in large groups and you can keep an eye on them. If you are attending please click going on this event and/or e-mail them at fnbvegankai@gmail.com so they can plan for the number of volunteers that are attending. They will start food prep at 3.30 pm and we will be serving dinner around 6pm. Any leftover food will be frozen and served to those in need when they request it through our page. Volunteers are also encouraged to bring their own containers to take home meals as koha for their hard work. Yhry appreciate you! If you know anybody that is having a tough time at the moment please let them know about this event. Any leftovers will be packaged and stored for distribution to those who need food. Link: https://www.facebook.com/events/1514963392422042
Monday 17 June, 7.30-9pm

Practical strategies for effective Palestinian solidarity in the era of the IHRA, online via Zoom

The International Holocaust Remembrance Alliance (IHRA) Working Definition of Antisemitism calls anti-Zionism antisemitic. Its use distracts from the message of protest, and punishes expressions of Palestinian identity. This workshop aims to give activists practical strategies to communicate effectively. Alternative Jewish Voices-Dayenu, and Justice for Palestine, with support from ActionStation, are hosting a workshop for organisers and activists on undertaking Palestinian solidarity in the context of the IHRA definition of anti-semitism and responding to the threat the IHRA campaign poses to our movement. This session will involve a facilitated discussion, they will then workshop with participants anti-racist responses to common IHRA challenges, followed by Q&A. Who: Kate Stone, tangata Tiriti, co-convenor of Justice for Palestine, will facilitate the conversation between: Marilyn Garson is a co-founder of Alternative Jewish Voices (AJV). She has also lived and worked in Gaza. She has co-produced AJV's briefs for government and others on the IHRA definition of antisemitism, and in June she will be attending an international conference on this and related issues. Rand Hazou is a Palestinian theatre practitioner and scholar. His research explores arts engaging with rights and social justice. In Aotearoa, he has led teaching and creative projects engaging with prison, aged-care, and street communities All Palestinian solidarity and anti-racist organisers and activists are welcome. RSVP required. Link: https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/registetZYocOiqrDMpE9XaAT-GLfipDd-bBIGXV3kQ
Sunday 23 June, 7-8pm

Tina Ngata: Speaking Truth to Power, online via Facebook

Join Mana Wahine Aotearoa on Sunday 23rd of June on the Mana Wahine Aotearoa Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/manawahineaotearoa as they engage in a korero with indigenous, environmental, human rights advocate Tina Ngata. They will be diving into the impact proliferation and misinformation has on wāhine Māori. Join the Mana Wahine Aotearoa Facebook Group via: https://www.facebook.com/groups/manawahineaotearoa, see you there 🪴 Link: https://www.instagram.com/p/C7P8990yX6o/

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So when I registered for this online university, I typed in my name in English but with a few differences from the one on my high school diploma. Last year I finished my 4th term and had 7 courses done, and registered for my 5th term. One day I got an email telling me to upload my documents to continue as a degree-seeking student. I uploaded my high school diploma, but then they told me that there's a name discrepancy and they couldn't verify this diploma belonged to me, therefore canceling the courses I registered for. I'm from the Middle East and my main language is Arabic, but my documents are both in Arabic and English.
I talked with my PA about it and she told me that I can request a name change. Guess what? All the documents I can give to them have my English name slightly different, and they didn't accept any of them for the name change request, another name discrepancy problem. My PA suggested that I get something called an Affidavit for One and Same Person, considering that my English name in my documents has some differences. But where I live currently, they don't know about such a thing as an affidavit.
Right now it's going to be my 4th term being inactive because I can't take any courses. I'm afraid I won't be able to resolve this ongoing problem with my name. If I don't resolve this problem soon, I will lose my scholarship, and all this studying I had for 4 terms will be gone to waste. I don't know what I can do at this point.

I'm urgently looking for an alternative to Facebook Groups (so just the possibility for people to post and interact) but without having to display identity - FB groups would have been ideal if members could join anonymously.
Can you help me with options where people can register with only their email? I'd prefere something less tech than Discord... my community is not tech savvy at all.
Thanks.

Introduction: Welcome to our tutorial on the DATS Project platform! Whether you’re a seasoned data scientist or just starting, DATS Project offers a comprehensive suite of tools and resources to enhance your data science projects. In this tutorial, we’ll walk you through the key features and how to use them effectively.

Step 1: Signing Up and Logging In

1. Visit the Website: Go to DATS Project.
2. Sign Up:
   • Click on the "Sign Up" button at the top right corner.
   • Fill in your details: name, email, and create a password.
   • Verify your email by clicking the link sent to your inbox.
3. Log In:
   • Enter your email and password, then click "Log In".

Step 2: Exploring the Dashboard

1. Overview:
   • After logging in, you’ll be directed to your dashboard.
   • Here, you can see an overview of your projects, recent activity, and notifications.
2. Navigation Menu:
   • On the left side, you’ll find the navigation menu with sections such as Projects, Datasets, Models, Collaborations, and Settings.

Step 3: Creating a New Project

1. Start a Project:
   • Click on the "Projects" section in the navigation menu.
   • Click the "New Project" button.
2. Project Details:
   • Enter your project name and a brief description.
   • Choose the data privacy settings (public or private).
3. Save and Proceed:
   • Click "Create Project" to save.

Step 4: Uploading and Managing Datasets

1. Add a Dataset:
   • Navigate to the "Datasets" section.
   • Click "Upload Dataset".
   • Select your file(s) from your computer and upload.
2. Dataset Management:
   • After uploading, you can view the dataset details.
   • Use built-in tools to clean and preprocess your data directly on the platform.

Step 5: Building and Training Models

1. Accessing Models:
   • Go to the "Models" section in your project.
   • Click "New Model" to start building.
2. Model Configuration:
   • Choose from a variety of algorithms (e.g., regression, classification).
   • Configure the model parameters as needed.
3. Training the Model:
   • Select your dataset for training.
   • Click "Train Model" and monitor the progress.

Step 6: Analyzing Results

1. View Results:
   • Once the model training is complete, view the results in the "Results" tab.
   • Analyze the performance metrics such as accuracy, precision, recall, and more.
2. Visualization:
   • Use the built-in visualization tools to create charts and graphs of your data and model results.

Step 7: Collaborating with Team Members

1. Add Collaborators:
   • In your project settings, go to the "Collaborations" tab.
   • Enter the email addresses of your team members to invite them.
2. Set Permissions:
   • Assign roles and permissions (e.g., view-only, editor).
3. Collaborative Work:
   • Team members can now contribute to the project, share insights, and work together in real-time.

Step 8: Exporting and Sharing Results

1. Export Data:
   • Export your datasets, models, and results in various formats (CSV, JSON, etc.).
2. Share Reports:
   • Generate comprehensive reports and share them with stakeholders or on social media.

Conclusion:

Congratulations! You’ve now learned the basics of using the DATS Project platform. With its powerful tools for managing datasets, building models, and collaborating with your team, you’re well on your way to advancing your data science projects. Don’t forget to explore more features and maximize the potential of DATS Project!
If you have any questions or need further assistance, feel free to reach out through the platform’s support section.
Remember to Like, Subscribe, and hit the Bell icon for more tutorials and updates!
Feel free to modify any section or add more details based on the specific features and functionalities of the DATS Project platform.

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• Learn about Stellar Basics
• Stellar Smart Contracts - Soroban
• Play Stellar Quest - Learn about the features of Stellar and earn NFTs while doing it!
• Stellar FAQ
• Security Guide on How to protect yourself from scammers
• Stellar SDF Roadmap
• Upcoming & Past Events
• Stellar Rules
• Getting Started on Stellar

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Scam Alert - Never share your secret key with anyone.

There are NO airdrops, giveaways, staking, inflation mechanisms, or 'free lumens'.
Beware of 'support scams'. There are accounts all over Reddit impersonating as 'support' to steal crypto funds. Please report these accounts to Reddit via https://reddit.com/report. If you receive chat messages, click over the message until a flag appears to report the message to Reddit.
Beware of phishing attempts and spoofed websites. There are fake copies of official and community websites created everyday in order to scam community members.
Stellar Development Foundation will NEVER ask for your Secret Key.
Stellar Development Foundation will NEVER ask you to go to an Account Viewer.
Stellar Development Foundation will NEVER contact you in an email or media platforms to offer a giveaway or ask you to go to an Account Viewer.
Always report those scams so they can be removed to protect our community at https://www.stellar.org/contact
The official links are:

• stellar.org
• twitter.com/stellarorg

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Stellar Weekly Discussion Rules

• Be respectful. No personal attacks.
• Refrain from baseless speculation, shilling, concern trolling, and referral spamming.
• Debate is encouraged, fighting is not. Fighting includes name-calling, assumptions of intent, and character assassination.
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Disclaimer
Any third party organizations that are named in this and/or any other communication(s) are not an endorsement. Please conduct due diligence and interact with these organizations at your discretion.

Getting 10,000 users per day on a website requires a combination of strategies focused on driving traffic, engaging your audience, and providing value. Here are some steps you can take to achieve this goal:

1. **Define Your Target Audience**: Understand who your target audience is and what they're interested in. Tailor your content and marketing efforts to appeal to their needs and preferences.
   
2. **Search Engine Optimization (SEO)**: Optimize your website for search engines to improve its visibility in search results. Conduct keyword research, optimize on-page elements (such as titles, meta descriptions, and headings), create high-quality content, and build backlinks from reputable websites.
   
3. **Content Marketing**: Create compelling, valuable content that resonates with your target audience. Publish blog posts, articles, videos, infographics, podcasts, or other content formats that address their pain points, answer their questions, or provide solutions to their problems.
   
4. **Social Media Marketing**: Promote your content and engage with your audience on social media platforms like Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram, Pinterest, or TikTok. Share your content, participate in relevant conversations, run social media ads, and leverage influencer partnerships to reach a wider audience.
   
5. **Email Marketing**: Build an email list of subscribers interested in your content or products. Send regular newsletters, updates, promotions, and exclusive content to keep your audience engaged and drive traffic back to your website.
   
6. **Paid Advertising**: Invest in paid advertising campaigns to drive targeted traffic to your website. Use platforms like Google Ads, Facebook Ads, Instagram Ads, LinkedIn Ads, Twitter Ads, or YouTube Ads to reach your audience based on demographics, interests, and behavior.
   
7. **Optimize Website Performance**: Ensure that your website is fast, user-friendly, and mobile-responsive. Improve page loading times, optimize for mobile devices, enhance navigation and usability, and minimize technical issues to provide a seamless user experience.
   
8. **Engage Your Audience**: Encourage interaction and engagement on your website by enabling comments, forums, live chat, or community features. Respond promptly to comments and messages, ask for feedback, and foster a sense of community around your brand.
   
9. **Collaborate and Partner**: Collaborate with influencers, bloggers, industry experts, or other websites in your niche to reach their audiences and expand your reach. Guest posting, cross-promotions, co-marketing campaigns, or affiliate partnerships can help drive traffic and increase visibility.
   
10. **Monitor and Analyze**: Track your website traffic, user behavior, and conversion metrics using web analytics tools like Google Analytics. Monitor key performance indicators (KPIs), identify areas for improvement, and adjust your strategies accordingly to optimize your results over time.
    

By implementing these strategies consistently and continuously refining your approach based on data and feedback, you can work towards achieving your goal of attracting 10,000 users per day to your website.

Hey, so yesterday I was trying to launch a Wordpress site, using Bluehost to purchase the domain. I ran into some problems and my transaction ended up getting declined multiple times. Here's basically what happened:

• At first, I tried to register the domain through Bluehost and create the Bluehost account at the same time (the domain-purchasing process is baked into account creation)
• After getting payment declined, I tried to just create a Bluehost account on its own, and then come back to the domain later—same thing happened, payment was declined
• Finally I gave up on the Bluehost and domain stuff altogether and tried to create a Wordpress account instead:
  • It seems like I managed to create something, but I think even this I did wrong, because every time I tried to login, it was not simply letting me enter an email and password; rather, after I entered my email, it would send a link to my inbox that, when clicked, allowed me to login
  • In other words, at no point in the login process did I ever input a password—I don't even recall setting a password when I was configuring the Wordpress account; I'm guessing whatever password I put back when I was working with the Bluehost stuff automatically got used?

If your brain hurts after reading all of that, I'm very sorry—I am chronically horrible at creating accounts in general, and on most sites probably have duplicate accounts because the first time I always do something wrong. Essentially, I have no idea what account(s) I actually have, and what I need to do next.
What I do understand now is that there seem to be two accounts required for launching a site: one with Wordpress and then one with Bluehost when you're registering the domain (correct me if I'm wrong). What I would like to do is delete whatever Wordpress account I created last night so I can start over; same thing with the Bluehost account (if I actually ended up creating anything, which I doubt).
Then in terms of trying again, what are the steps? I imagine you create the Wordpress account first? Because that's the only one that marginally seems to have worked, while Bluehost just kept declining my payment.

I'm working on a small and simple comment hosting platform in PHP (SQLITE database) to host comments for my static blog https://prahladyeri.github.io/. No login, sign-ups or third party OAuth, just plain old Wordpress.org style commenting system.
I have come up with the following DB schema so far to store the comments (comments table) and enable the administrator's dashboard authentication (users table). Can this be improved further?

-- init.sql -- drop table if exists comments; drop table if exists users; create table comments ( id integer primary key, user_id integer references users (id), message text, name varchar(500), email varchar(500), website varchar(500), ip varchar(500), -- $_SERVER['REMOTE_ADDR'] notify char(1) default 'n', status varchar(100) default 'Approved', -- Approved/Spam created_at datetime default (datetime(CURRENT_TIMESTAMP, 'localtime')), modified_at datetime default (datetime(CURRENT_TIMESTAMP, 'localtime')) ); create table users ( id integer primary key, username varchar(255) not null, password varchar(255) not null, email varchar(255), -- can be null name varchar(255) not null, website varchar(255), -- comments will be posted to this site role varchar(50) not null, -- Admin/Staff created_at datetime default (datetime(CURRENT_TIMESTAMP, 'localtime')), modified_at datetime default (datetime(CURRENT_TIMESTAMP, 'localtime')), unique (username), unique (email) ); -- create default data -- create a default admin user who handles to dashboard insert into users(username,password, name, role, website) values ("admin", "admin108", 'Admin', 'Admin', 'https://example.com/'); 

👋 Welcome to the /ukpolitics General Election Campaign Megathread. Parliament has been dissolved, and Ed Davey is spending his mornings at Alton Towers. Oh! And there's an election on.
This is our new daily megathread for all of the day's news until the election. Polling day is on 4th July, and you need to make sure that you are registered to vote if you haven't already, and that you have a form of photo ID (passport, driving license, etc). If you don't have photo ID, you can apply for a voter authority certificate.
Please do not submit articles to the megathread which clearly stand as their own submission. Comments which include a link to a story which clearly stands as its own submission will be removed. Comments which relate to a story which already exists on the subreddit will be removed, to keep everything in one place. Links as comments are not useful here. Add a headline, tweet content or explainer please.
This thread will automatically roll over into a new one at 06:00 GMT each morning.
You can join our Discord server for real-time discussion with fellow subreddit users, and follow our Twitter account to keep up with the latest developments.

Useful Links

📰 Today's Politico Playbook · 🌎 International Politics Discussion Thread . 🃏 UKPolitics Meme Subreddit
🗳️ Register to vote · 🪪 Apply for a voter authority certificate if you have no voter ID · ✉️ Apply for a postal vote (or here for NI) · 🚶🏻 Apply for a proxy vote (or here in NI)

📅 Key dates

from the Electoral Commission

• 5th - 16th June - Party manifestos expected to be published (based on Institute for Government analysis of past election periods).
• 7th June - Deadline for candidate nominations.
• 18th June - Deadline for new voter registration (to be able to vote in this election).
• 19th June - Deadline for new postal vote applications (for this election).
• 26th June - Deadline for new proxy vote applications and voter authority certificates (for this election).
• 4th July - Polling day. Emergency proxy votes deadline at 5pm. Polls will open at 7am and close at 10pm.

So, basically, I passed the DCAT and will be paying for the reservation fee. However, my surname is missing a letter. How can I ask them to fix this? Do I have to go to DLSU? Or just send an email? Also, before the DCAT exam, I already noticed that my surname was incorrect, so I emailed the university so that I wouldn't be disqualified during the exam. They did fix the test permit. However, they sent that email after I took the exam, so I wasn't able to submit the updated test permit they gave me. They only fixed the test permit, but my correct surname wasn't registered on the portal. So now, on my offer letter, it's still misspelled. Will I get disqualified? I do not want to waste 10k for the reservation and then just get disqualified afterward.

Starting a blog in 2024 is an exciting venture and can be accomplished with a few key steps. Here's a comprehensive guide to get you started from scratch:

1. Choose Your Blog's Niche

• Identify Your Passion and Expertise: Write about something you love and know well.
• Research Market Demand: Use tools like Google Trends or Keyword Planner to find popular topics within your niche.
• Analyze Competition: Check out other blogs in your niche to understand the competition and find your unique angle.

2. Define Your Audience

• Create Reader Personas: Think about who your ideal readers are – their demographics, interests, and problems.
• Tailor Content to Your Audience: Plan your content around what your audience needs and wants.

3. Choose a Blogging Platform

• WordPress.org: Highly recommended for its flexibility and control. Requires a separate hosting service.
• Blogger: Good for beginners, but limited in customization.
• Medium: Great for reaching an audience quickly, but less control over design and monetization.
• Wix or Squarespace: Easy-to-use website builders with blogging capabilities.

4. Pick a Domain Name and Hosting Service

• Domain Name: Choose a name that is easy to remember, relevant to your niche, and preferably a .com.
• Hosting Service: Popular options include Bluehost, SiteGround, and HostGator. Ensure the service offers good uptime, customer support, and scalability.

5. Set Up Your Blog

• Install WordPress: If you choose WordPress, most hosting services offer a one-click installation.
• Select a Theme: Pick a clean, responsive theme. Free and premium options are available on sites like ThemeForest or the WordPress theme directory.
• Install Essential Plugins: Some must-have plugins include Yoast SEO, Akismet (for spam protection), and Jetpack (for site stats and security).

6. Design Your Blog

• Customize Your Theme: Adjust colors, fonts, and layout to match your brand.
• Create Key Pages: Essential pages include About, Contact, Privacy Policy, and any other pages specific to your niche (e.g., Portfolio, Services).
• Optimize for Mobile: Ensure your blog looks good and works well on mobile devices.

7. Create Quality Content

• Plan Your Content: Use an editorial calendar to schedule posts. Aim for a mix of evergreen and trending topics.
• Write Engaging Posts: Craft compelling headlines, use images and multimedia, and write in a conversational tone.
• SEO Best Practices: Use keywords naturally, optimize meta descriptions, use header tags, and include internal and external links.

8. Promote Your Blog

• Social Media: Share your posts on platforms like Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn.
• Email Marketing: Start building an email list from day one. Use tools like Mailchimp or ConvertKit.
• Guest Posting: Write guest posts for other blogs in your niche to reach a wider audience.
• Engage with Your Audience: Respond to comments, participate in online communities, and network with other bloggers.

9. Monetize Your Blog

• Affiliate Marketing: Promote products related to your niche and earn a commission for every sale made through your referral links.
• Advertising: Use Google AdSense or work directly with brands for sponsored content.
• Sell Products/Services: Offer your own products or services, such as eBooks, courses, or consulting.
• Membership/Subscription: Provide premium content for subscribers or members.

10. Analyze and Improve

• Use Analytics Tools: Google Analytics and other tools can help you track your blog’s performance.
• Monitor Key Metrics: Focus on traffic, bounce rate, session duration, and conversion rates.
• Continuous Improvement: Regularly update old posts, optimize for SEO, and adjust your strategy based on performance data.

Conclusion

Starting a blog in 2024 involves careful planning, consistent effort, and a willingness to adapt and learn. By following these steps, you'll be well on your way to creating a successful blog that resonates with your audience and achieves your goals. Happy blogging!
4oStarting a blog in 2024 is an exciting venture and can be accomplished with a few key steps. Here's a comprehensive guide to get you started from scratch:

1. Choose Your Blog's Niche

• Identify Your Passion and Expertise: Write about something you love and know well.
• Research Market Demand: Use tools like Google Trends or Keyword Planner to find popular topics within your niche.
• Analyze Competition: Check out other blogs in your niche to understand the competition and find your unique angle.

2. Define Your Audience

• Create Reader Personas: Think about who your ideal readers are – their demographics, interests, and problems.
• Tailor Content to Your Audience: Plan your content around what your audience needs and wants.

3. Choose a Blogging Platform

• WordPress.org: Highly recommended for its flexibility and control. Requires a separate hosting service.
• Blogger: Good for beginners, but limited in customization.
• Medium: Great for reaching an audience quickly, but less control over design and monetization.
• Wix or Squarespace: Easy-to-use website builders with blogging capabilities.

4. Pick a Domain Name and Hosting Service

• Domain Name: Choose a name that is easy to remember, relevant to your niche, and preferably a .com.
• Hosting Service: Popular options include Bluehost, SiteGround, and HostGator. Ensure the service offers good uptime, customer support, and scalability.

5. Set Up Your Blog

• Install WordPress: If you choose WordPress, most hosting services offer a one-click installation.
• Select a Theme: Pick a clean, responsive theme. Free and premium options are available on sites like ThemeForest or the WordPress theme directory.
• Install Essential Plugins: Some must-have plugins include Yoast SEO, Akismet (for spam protection), and Jetpack (for site stats and security).

6. Design Your Blog

• Customize Your Theme: Adjust colors, fonts, and layout to match your brand.
• Create Key Pages: Essential pages include About, Contact, Privacy Policy, and any other pages specific to your niche (e.g., Portfolio, Services).
• Optimize for Mobile: Ensure your blog looks good and works well on mobile devices.

7. Create Quality Content

• Plan Your Content: Use an editorial calendar to schedule posts. Aim for a mix of evergreen and trending topics.
• Write Engaging Posts: Craft compelling headlines, use images and multimedia, and write in a conversational tone.
• SEO Best Practices: Use keywords naturally, optimize meta descriptions, use header tags, and include internal and external links.

8. Promote Your Blog

• Social Media: Share your posts on platforms like Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn.
• Email Marketing: Start building an email list from day one. Use tools like Mailchimp or ConvertKit.
• Guest Posting: Write guest posts for other blogs in your niche to reach a wider audience.
• Engage with Your Audience: Respond to comments, participate in online communities, and network with other bloggers.

9. Monetize Your Blog

• Affiliate Marketing: Promote products related to your niche and earn a commission for every sale made through your referral links.
• Advertising: Use Google AdSense or work directly with brands for sponsored content.
• Sell Products/Services: Offer your own products or services, such as eBooks, courses, or consulting.
• Membership/Subscription: Provide premium content for subscribers or members.

10. Analyze and Improve

• Use Analytics Tools: Google Analytics and other tools can help you track your blog’s performance.
• Monitor Key Metrics: Focus on traffic, bounce rate, session duration, and conversion rates.
• Continuous Improvement: Regularly update old posts, optimize for SEO, and adjust your strategy based on performance data.

Conclusion

Starting a blog in 2024 involves careful planning, consistent effort, and a willingness to adapt and learn. By following these steps, you'll be well on your way to creating a successful blog that resonates with your audience and achieves your goals. Happy blogging!

My father was born in Germany, lived there for the first two years of his life, and had a German mother. He moved back to Germany and lived there for five years starting in 2003 - I was born in 2004 myself. While he has clear ties to Germany, he doesn't have any documents to prove he was physically there during that time. Should I try my luck & apply for a passport or just stick to form UKF? TYIA!
Edit: sorry for leaving out some key details - my parents were/are not married, I was born pre-2006 in Europe, my father is a British citizen by birth and holds a British passport - his father is British and his mother is German - they were married and my father was born there in a British military hospital - I understand I’d normally need tor register via UKF, but as his domicile during the time of my birth was a country that doesn’t recognise illegitimacy, maybe I could already be a British citizen

I've been sending personalised cold emails at scale for 15 years & have A/B tested everything 6 ways past Sunday.
This 3 min post will save you 3 years of testing and learning:
1/
The subject line is everything.
"quick question" used to rule them all, but it's dead now.
Keep it 5 words or less, and include the recipient's 1st name
Longer ALWAYS loses A/B tests and including 1st name always wins.
Better subject line = more opens = more replies
2/
Don't sound professional
Don't sound like a robot
Always sound like an interesting human.
If you aren't interesting or clever, then get help from a friend that is
One of my best performing openers was
"Put down your $17 avocado toast and read this stupid pitch already."
3/
I know gurus preach "it doesn't matter how long your email is as long as your copy is compelling."
That's BS. Full stop.
Your email needs to be shorter than Danny DeVito.
Rule of 5:
5 or less words in subject
5 of less sentences in body
No links or pics in signature.
4/
Are there exceptions to this? Of course. Long copy has made folks billions.
But rarely in email. And your copywriting isn't that good. Neither is mine.
You need to end the pitch with an easy call to action.
Cold emails are no different than fishing. Let me explain
5/
When you go fishing you can't set the hook too soon or too late.
THE PURPOSE OF A COLD EMAIL IS TO START A CONVERSATION. NOT TO SELL!! You're fishing.
Keep the ask very simple in the beginning and don't ask for much.
As you reel them in, as for a little more at a time.
6/
My first email usually ends with:
"Any interest?"
"Thoughts?"
"Mind if I send a little more info?"
Every time you ask someone to hop on a call or a Zoom in the FIRST cold email, an innocent puppy dies.
Don't you freaking do it.
Don't set the hook too soon.
7/
The more times you can get them to reply, the more of a relationship you have.
The more likely they will be to either buy or hop on that stupid Zoom you keep wanting to ask for.
If your cold email can't give them
Money Time Attention
Then they aren't buyin'
8/
Let's talk tools. There are a ton of cold emailing tools. I've used them all.
GMass - Lightweight, cheap, simple. It's great
Lemlist - Feature rich, a bit expensive. Unintuitive UI
Apollo - Solid, affordable, but more targeted towards leadgen and not the email tool itself
9/
Start by sending in batches of 200 per day.
A/B testing 100 at a time.
Keep iterating until open rates are over 50% and reply rates are 15+%
It all depends on your industry, product and pitch, however.
I've seen 90+% open rates and 40+% response rates if targeted enough
10/
The more personalised the emails are, the better response you'll get. Obvious, I know.
You'll always make a tradeoff between scale and response rates.
Pick your poison.
2-3 personalised fields per email is key.
11/
No more than 2 follow ups. PLEASE.
Because hey, I get cold emails too. And when you follow up 3-6x I literally want to murder you.
It does more harm than good.
In general, follow ups are weak. If it's a no on the 1st email it's 90+% chance going to be a no on 2-3 as well
12/
With every word they have to read in the email, the % likelihood of them deleting the email goes up
Friction is not your friend
These same people stop watching a TikTok video after 4 seconds, you think they're gonna read a 400 word enterprise software pitch?
13/
The winning A/B test will be the one that leads to more cash in the bank.
Not the ones with the most opens or replies. Make sense?
Sometimes the lowest response rates are the highest INTENT responses.
You need to track these nuances, not just the numbers.
Source

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Complex-Wing7114
I have 2 weeks to get away from my husband
Originally posted to offmychest
Thanks to u/soayherder for suggesting this BoRU
Previous BoRU
TRIGGER WARNING: controlling behavior, threats, abusive behavior, stalking, assault, physical violence, gaslighting
Original Post Apr 27, 2024
Throwaway account as my husband and In-laws are follow my main. I, 29 F, have been married to my husband, 30 m, who I'll call Alex. Alex and I met in college during our freshman year. We started off as just friends, and got married seven months ago. I've gotten along with his family, but we aren't super close but we're friendly enough. The problem is that Alex has begun to make me incredibly uncomfortable.
Firstly, he's begun to ask me who I'm meeting with, where, what we plan on doing, how long every single time I leave the house without him. At first, I just thought he was being protective and a good partner just in case something happened, but then he started checking my phone after the visits, vetting and researching each of my friends as well.
He also has been pursuing me to link my bank account to his, as he's "in charge" of the finances when he was perfectly fine with keeping them separate before. We fight about it almost every day.
Finally, yesterday when he was preparing to go on a work trip for two weeks in California, he demanded I wear a tracker so he could keep and eye on me while he's gone. I can't do this anymore, I feel like I'm suffocating and his family who I've spoken to about his worrying behavior just said he's being careful and protective as a good husband should. I need to gather my things together and find a way to be gone before he gets home without tipping him off.
He's always threatened that if he ever found me cheating on him he'd turn in divorce papers the same day. He keeps a filled out copy in his desk. I'm going to submit those the day I leave. But there's so much to do, bergen finding a new place to live, seeing if my job has any transfers available, packing and moving in two weeks. His return flight May 11th, so I need to move quickly. I'm posting here because I don't have any close family, and I can't risk dragging my friends into this as we share the same friends.I just needed a place to vent, and ask if anyone has any advice on the easiest and safest way to do this?
Edit: oh my god you guys are amazing! I never even thought to not use his divorce papers. I'll check for cameras before I start any packing or prepping. I may also shred his divorce papers just in case and look into getting a lawyer for myself. I'm in a no fault divorce state, that much I so remember which will help. I'll update again when I know more. The tracker he wants me to use is a small clip to put on the belt or waistband. I'll wear it unless I'm going or doing something related to me leaving. No pets yet thankfully.
Update Apr 28, 2024
So I've gotten a lot of support and helpful advice along with questions I thought I should clarify before I proceed with the update. Some asked why I'd be 'hiding' things from Alex regarding going out and who I'm meeting with. I don't, and I have nothing to hide. However when he begins to then double check everything I tell him with the other people there right down to each person I talked to and what I said. Did I send any text msgs, did I order food, how much did I eat, that's when it started to feel like I was slowly being pushed into a corner. It didn't start that bad, but gradually grew worse overtime.
All of the Reddit subs my in-law's families are part of are related gardening and diy so I highly doubt they'll see this, if so by the time they do, I'll hopefully be gone. I talked to my job and explained things to my manager. And they promised to look into openings in other states to see if they could get me into one. They'll have an update on that in three days. I trust that my bank account us secured, considering he's tried to get into it before and failed. I found one camera in the kitchen, another in the living room and one in our bedroom. As such, I've left them in place for now and done all other planning, either in the bathroom pretending I'm taking a bath.
I'm honestly staying away from the domestic violence services as my sister-in-law is unfortunately higher up in those considering she volunteers there and I have a feeling if I did show up there, they would know in a heartbeat. I can't look for apartments until I get the update from my work, but either or i'm still gonna be leaving the state. The day before I do I will be changing my number carrier and wiping my laptop and all of his electronics before I do.
I've met with 2 lawyers so far and had them look over the paperwork. My husband had prepared and both said that it did it have some clauses in it. That could have caused me some trouble down the line. What alarmed all of us close the fact that several of those clauses dealt with future children, and not as a hypothetical. Like several hair suggested I have a feeling he fully intended on getting me pregnant to keep me trapped and tied to him.
There are 3 other locations. My job could send me to and I have. As a precaution Begun looking into all 3 cities and housing in the areas. Just in case one of those, this is the one they send me to. Even if they don't have an opening that they can push me into then I will just have to quit, move and figure things out on my own. I have enough money to live and survive for a few months until I can pick up another job.
Unfortunately all of our friends are mutuals and would likely be unaware of the consequences of saying or sharing anything I do or say with my husband. I don't have any surviving close family and obviously my in laws are not a good resource to rely on. I am on my own unfortunately, other than the wonderful bonds, i've begun to make here. I will update again if I get more information or something else happens. Otherwise all update when my work gets back to me. I do plan on leaving before he returns, though. Just to make sure that i'm not anywhere near here at that time.
Update 2 Apr 30, 2024
Good news! My work has an opening I qualify for that will not only shift me across the country, but also comes with a salary increase as well. I've started telling my in laws and friends that I'm planning a surprise outing for when my husband gets back for just the two of us. This way, people don't give me odd looks if they see me out and about. I've even gone as far as asking MIL to show me his favorite recipes.
Meanwhile, I've found a moving company that while small is willing to work in a storm. The reason is in five days, we're supposed to get hit with a large storm front. I plan to shut off the breaker and say we lost power if he asks just as several people here suggested and even send him a short clip of the storm.
I will have all of my stuff moved that afternoon, and I will be flying out once the weather has cleared enough to do so. I have a lawyer who will push my divorce through, and I've filled out the necessary paperwork so that I don't have to be here for it. I'm not suing for assets or alimony and I've shredded his divorce papers as well. I've set up a cheap payphone plan through cricket until this is all said and done at which point I will find a new carrier, number and phone. This one is being wiped and left behind.
My laptop is provided by my work, and the IT department inspected it thoroughly and it was clean thankfully. No other electronic aside from my laptop and new phone will be coming with me. If alex needs to talk to me, he can do it through my lawyer. Not sure if anything else will happen, my fingers are crossed that he doesn't think anythings amiss until after I leave - and I'm not turning the breaker back on when I do. He can when he gets home. My work is covering the plane ticket, so that at least is one expense I don't have to finagle in.
Update 3 May 7, 2024
Update 3: I have 2 weeks to get away from my husband.
It's been a busy week, but I've gotten so much done. Firstly, I am now out of the house and am currently in a hotel while I look for an apartment. It's a big city, bustling with people no matter where you look. We had a pretty bad storm system hit back home, that actually lasted two days. High winds, thunder, lightning and even hail everywhere. I didn't take much from the house, my documents, clothes and important sentimental items. I left all of the furniture and electronics behind. I cleaned the house top to bottom and took pictures on my phone so he couldn't claim I damaged anything when I left.
My lawyer has already started divorce proceedings, and my husband will be served on the 8th. His plane is due to land early morning, and the sheriff will be there at the house waiting for him. He is very much about public appearances and reputation. My lawyer will be calling him as well to inform him that I am more than willing to air out everything to the public about his actions if it means securing my freedom from him. I will go to court as long as I must to get this pushed through.
I haven't told our friends or his in-laws yet, I will do that while he is on the flight to prevent him from getting wind of it before he's handed the divorce papers. I will be calling around and explaining why we're getting divorced, to try and prevent him from twisting this into somehow being my fault. I don't want him trying to claim I had an affair or something so I want to get the truth out before he can twist this.
I'm... doing okay. I'm tired, but yet I feel almost jittery and off-kilter. I keep looking over my shoulder and monitoring what I say even when I don't really need to anymore. Hopefully that will fade soon. My work is covering the cost of the hotel, and I'm working on getting my other things in order. I also need to find a new GP as I want to get a full test just to make sure everything is okay. I don't know when my next update will be, probably when the divorce papers are filed or if we have to go to court to push them through. I will try to keep my head up, but it feels like I'm in a whirlwind or something with so many things to do and think about. I kinda thought it would be easier once I got out of the house but while the fear is smaller, somehow the number of tasks only seems to have grown.
Update 4 May 14, 2024
Sorry I haven't updated for a while, things got hectic and a bit chaotic honestly. Firstly, I'm working on getting an apartment still and have applications in at three different places and will hopefully hear back from them soon. I'm still going into work here at the new location, so I don't have to worry about burning through my emergency savings completely. I've gotten a lot of emails from Alex, his family and our old friend group asking question after question. I have only sent one return email to Alex, explaining that I don't believe we are truly compatible, and it is best we separate now. That his treatment of me when I'd done nothing to deserve as such was just as much of a deal breaker as cheating was for him.
I ended the email with the statement that I would not be contacting him further and anything else he needed to pass on to me or vice versa would be done through my lawyer. For his family and friends, I just typed up one email outlining everything that had happened and why I left. I told them I wished them no ill will, but that such treatment of his wife and partner was not acceptable. That should Alex get remarried in the future, I wished they would help support both partners and not just Alex.
Alex, from what my lawyer told me, was livid when he was served. The sheriff actually ended up booking him for assault on an officer and menacing due to the threats he was shouting. His father bailed him out in a few hours, but with the testimony of the sheriff, my lawyer believes I have a very good chance at getting a restraining order. Alex, upon returning to the house, apparently lost his temper again, breaking the dining table into pieces as well as the tv, and putting several holes in the walls. At least that's what one of the emails from one of our friends reported as Alex called him to help him clean up the mess.
My lawyer already has pictures of the house I took, with timestamps as evidence nothing had been damaged by me. My friend reported that Alex tried to claim I'd been the one to trash the house but the holes in the wall were at head height - Alex is 6'3", and I'm 5'4" so he knew that was false. Either way, taking the pictures definitely will help me so again thank you everyone here for the advice because I never would have thought of that on my own. My work won't share details of where I am, as I do work with some higher end clientele who value security and that information won't be gossiped about and no, I'm not some stripper or escort. I deal with contracts, notary and business management. As such, even if Alex tried to use my work to find me, he wouldn't succeed.

NEW UPDATE

Update on leaving May 26, 2024
It’s been a little bit, and I thought I’d answer some questions before giving my update. It may be a while after this until things change.
Firstly, No I didn’t bring my car. The public transport here is good enough to use without needing one. I have secured an apartment, and the building has good security. You need a key card to enter, and there is a security guard at a desk right by the entrance to the building. As part of my contract, I gave them a photo of Alex and his family so that even in the off chance they do find me, they won’t be let in.
The responses I got from the emails varied. His family said I was overreacting, and that I owe Alex an apology for the problems this has caused him. The pending criminal charges puts him at risk of losing his job if he’s convicted. Alex sent a long email, apologizing and pleading for me to come home. He said he was worried for me, that he is willing to go to therapy if it will appease me. He wants us to remain together, and he didn’t think leaving was an appropriate response to his genuine concern and worry for my health and safety. The friends gave somewhat lacking replies, saying that they didn’t think Alex was ever going to hurt me and that I shouldn’t be letting my imagination run away wild. As much as I want to say I was surprised by the lack of support, I’m honestly not.
He intends to fight the divorce. I am letting my lawyer handle it, and I am also pursuing a protective order as well. Once I got approved for my apartment, I also froze my credit. I’ve changed my phone carrier and number, as well as making sure none of my documents list Alex as next of kin or POA.
Some have asked why I was so paranoid about Alex and his possible future actions. The answer for that actually is somewhat simple – my grandmother. I loved that woman to bits. As a teen, she explained why my grandfather was never around. He was extremely abusive and manipulative, and her generation didn’t allow divorce really. She wouldn’t have been able to buy a house or get a good enough job to support her and my mother on her own. As such, she endured it, shielded my mom as she could until my grandfather died. When I felt like I may have been overreacting, I remembered how she’d said she’d always wished she’d been able to see grandfather for what he was early on when she may have been able to annul the marriage.
I don’t know when I’ll update again, maybe when the divorce goes through or if something big happens but until then, I’m just trying to keep my head above the water.
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