Medical coding jobs questions and answers

This is not an original question, and I am aware that no matter what class one is from, they can be a class traitor to help with the cause. However, I do find some interest in knowing how to define oneself from a Marxist perspective.
I am a college dropout, but in a somewhat stable financial situation. That is because I inherited some money and a studio, which I live in, from my late mother, who was a teacher and owned said studio, where she lived in. But herself had inherited the money to buy that studio (and the relative amount of savings that I inherited from her as well) from my grand-father, who was born working class, but became a bourgeois throughout his work career.
My mom did not own any means of production-- she owned her home, this studio, which I guess is capital? But did not rent it (partly because of her own communist beliefs). I do not own any neither. Yet I cannot help but feel like I cannot call myself part of the proletariat. Yet I do not know if I fit the definition of bourgeoisie either.
I am currently unemployed, working on artistic projects and living off my savings for the time it takes me to complete them, because I know that the moment I will need to get back on the job train, I will have less time for them (and I cannot really gain much money from writing or amateur music until I get it started, but even then, it won't be enough on its own for a living). I own my flat, which is definitely a plus. And have money saved, which is undoubtedly a privilege. But that money is not eternal, and I'll have to work eventually, as spending savings without getting any income is relatively unwise.
It begs the question: what class am I part of?
Apologies if it too selfish a topic, I will understand if this gets removed because of it. And I know in the grand scheme of things, it really doesn't matter that much, nor does it hold back my ability to help my comrades. I guess I just want to understand how to define my situation in Marxist terms, as I'm really confused by it, and not the most knowledgeable in the intricacies of Marxism. Thanks in advance.

Any post-finals, post-elective students absolutely STRUGGLING to keep up with attendance on the wards? I'm meant to be on my assistantship, learning everything about the job before starting F1 but I am just about going in 2 days/week atm.
I know I should be taking the opportunity to soak up as much knowledge and experience as I can whilst I'm still protected by the medical student umbrella, but it genuinely feels like I'm just eating into the little summer holiday I have before starting work.

Our sweet Domino (cat) crossed the bridge on Thursday night at home in the arms of my child, his favorite person. Such a good boy who was diagnosed in 2022 with stage 4 kidney disease, but stayed with us for a bonus two years. He was so patient and tolerant of his frequent subcutaneous fluid injections. Domino loved catching mice that were already trapped, screaming for food, spending countless hours with his kid, drinking from any water bowl but his own, sleeping on his alien pillow, stealing the dog’s bed, and loving on his best bunny buddy.
Since his vet wasn’t open on Friday, his body is still at home with us until we can take him on Monday for a private cremation.
Without going into detail, his body is safe and iced. We spent a lot of time with him after his passing before placing him in his temporary resting place. I realized after we placed him there that I never got a clipping of his fur. I can’t bring myself to open it up and look at him.
I know this is probably a silly question, and that the answer is “of course”, but I’ve never done this before and want to put my mind at ease. Will the vet take clippings of his fur for me when I drop him off? How do I even ask for such a thing? I am truly kicking myself for not thinking of it at the time.

Took BAR this morning, I studied for about six weeks using UWorld. I have only taken FAR as my first before this. I guess I just wanted to make this post because we are all a little in the dark with the lack of information for the new discipline exams. I for one was a little exasperated seeing people talking about how much harder BAR was than ISC or TCP, and if you are using UWorld like me you already decided your discipline. Of course I'm going to wait for the score release 6/24, but I'm not inclined to study for another discipline. I realize not all exams are the same but here was mine.
I got through the MCQ's very quickly, just under 90 minutes. I was feeling really good about this after spending more like 2 hours on them for FAR. I saw a lot of governmental/NFP questions here, another post I had read here said they weren't tested more than 1-2 questions on it, I would say mine was more like 10. I absolutely drilled this area in the week before the test because it seemed so foreign to me, and it served me very well to instantly know the answers to questions like whether to include fiduciary funds in government wide statement of activities, for example. Some things I was a little caught off guard by:
COSO, R&D/Software (expense vs. capitalize), Pensions. These three areas probably had 3-5 questions each, I was a little surprised given the weighting in the UWorld material (only 15/1600 questions in the whole catalogue for pensions). I had only 2-3 variance questions, a weak area of mine that I was able to get on top of using the PURE SAD DADS pneumonic that I saw mentioned here.
The sims were extremely information heavy and it was overwhelming even with how much time I had banked on the MCQs. Before my break the first I probably spent damn near 40 minutes on, the ratios were provided but it was very calculation heavy and you were asked to make pretty detailed assertions from a drop down/mcq format about whether the company used their assets effectively based on their trend in ROA. I would say its important to know exactly what the metrics and ratios indicate and what is a "good" number for each. The next was a governmental topic that went pretty quick- what amounts were included as other financing sources, etc.
The 5 remaining sims after the break, I really lost track of time on. There was a cost one that was so exhibit heavy asking about reorder point and storage costs, that was difficult and I know I blew it. One was revenue recognition, adjustments to recognize revenue based on a bunch of email. One was on WACC/capital structure, including dividends and multiple scenarios for different capital structures. One was an option compensation scenario, this was pretty in depth beyond what just studying MCQ prepared me for. Revaluation at multiple reporting dates, liability based share comp, etc.
That's all I got. Hope this helps. Good luck to everyone testing this weekend.

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I’m 33F. Married. No kids. Teacher for 14 years.
I had a horrible childhood filled with abuse and neglect. I did what everyone told me and was the first of my family to graduate college and get a job, thinking that was the key to having a better life than the people I grew up with. I became a teacher because it it wasn’t for the teachers I had growing up, I would have never made it through.
I struggled HARD with what I now know what endometriosis and adenomyosis and fibroids and anything else that can go wrong in that area from the age of 9 until I had a hysterectomy at 31. All of my free time in my 20s was spent curled in with a heating pad, sitting in a tub of scalding hot water to ease the pain, or recovering from one of 12 surgeries to curb the pain and secure my fertility.
The hysterectomy happened about 6 months after getting married. The husband was supportive at the time, but everything changed after that. Things got so bad I ended up attempting suicide a few months later. At the hospital after the attempt, my husband told me how dumb I was for choosing the wrong medication to end my life. I mean, he wasn’t wrong.
Now, it’s a few years after that. I’ve been in counseling and on meds. Things are not much better. My working environment is miserable, mostly because of horribly mean and petty adults-not kids. At the same time, being around kids who are also abused and neglected and knowing I’ll never be a mom… not ideal. My husband detests me in so many ways. It makes him visibly angry when I get sick or have to take a day off work. He hates that as a teacher I get off most holidays and refuses to do anything around the house when I’m off. Like, purposefully leaves messes for me to clean. He is not in favor of adoption due to the cost. I honestly feel like he hates me and feels trapped. I’ve offered him an out, but he won’t take it. I think he’s afraid I’ll attempt again and that he will feel responsible.
I do not have a support system of any kind. No family at all. My only friends are still friends with me because I think they are afraid if they let go, I’ll attempt again.
I honestly feel like I should have never had the hysterectomy, gotten pregnant, and let the pregnancy kill me. Everyone would have been so much kinder to me I think and I wouldn’t be so stuck where I am now. All along the way, I thought I was making the best decisions at the time. I just wanted to know what life would be like without searing pain everyday. That’s all. I thought life would be so much better and that I could accomplish so much more. I can’t believe how wrong I was. I can’t believe I am where I am and there doesn’t feel like a way out. Literally just damaged goods, waiting to expire.

HI there, respected debate pedophiles.
I could use some feedback on a recent debate/convo. I am new to Reddit apologies for any mistakes in adv.
.... irrelevant back and forth about the war...
Other guy: probably killed by IDF bombs
Me: that sucks man only if Hamas had released the hostages. Hamas are such cowards. They should return the hostages and fight in the open, like men.
Other guy: If someone takes some kindergarteners hostage, would you bomb the school?
Me: The US would, they don’t negotiate with terrorist.
Other guy: yup, the US really has reached the pinnacle of morality. It’s also the reason why they’ve won all their wars after WWII
Me: which country would you say has more morality than the USA and have gone through terror attacks like 911?
Other guy: 9/11 was a horrific consequence of the terrible foreign policy by the USA and UK. You reap what you sow. If you organise coups, bomb and terrorize the entire Middle East during the 60s, 70s, 80s and 90s, you shouldn’t be surprised when some angry fanatic Muslims attack you in 2001. Same can be said for October the 7th. And after this terrible war in Gaza, something even more evil than Hamas will rise up. We’ve seen that with ISIS after the Iraq and Syrian wars.
To answer your question: there’re no countries that have gone through such terror attacks as Israel and USA have, because most countries in the world don’t terrorize other populations like Israel or the USA has
Me: would you say the firefighters and other people who died in 911 deserved it?
Secondly I agree, there is no playbook on how to handle a response to a terror attack. Would you say a reasonable response would be to find and kill the terrorist that killed your innocent people?
Other guy: who’s talking about deserving? No one that died on 9/11 deserved to die. I’m talking about logical consequences of terrible foreign policy making us normal citizens less safe. The tens of thousands of innocent kids that died in Iraq and Afghanistan didn’t deserve to die either because of some crazy Muslims that eventually resides in Pakistan (so why did the US invade Iraq & Afghanistan).
The reasonable response was the night they found and killed Bin Laden in Pakistan. Fucking up two countries, creating millions of refugees and killing half a million people wasn’t a reasonable response.
Me: So you do agree that people who died on 911 and Oct 7 were innocent and did not deserve to die.
We also agree that the USA & Israel have the moral authority & justification to go after the perpetrators of the terror attacks.
We only disagree on the methods & proportionality of the response
Do you agree with this?
Other guy: yep, 100% One last thing: we’ve seen with disproportionate responses in the past (like Iraq & Afghanistan) even more evil entities will rise up from the ashes, like with ISIS. There’s a huge danger and chance the same will happen in Gaza. The level of violence used by the Israeli government will fester immense amounts of hate which will result in even more evil than Hamas
*will post further responses if there is interest.

I've been wondering about myself, now 30+, how much of my personality is simply easygoing, and how much of it is a result of avoidance and detachment and maybe being so neutral is not a good thing? How can I know?
If you met me, you would think I am pretty easy to hang with, I've been described as easygoing and chill and nice and unbothered by many of my friends. I rarely get involved or upset with big drama or issues. I am introverted, stay home most days. I'm usually the therapist friend that listens and gives good advice or a shoulder to cry on, I've always been a good supporter and cheerleader for others, and I prefer it that way. I rarely make huge waves about anything. If bad things happen, I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, I try to think of the fact that we are just specks of dust in the universe, I try to tell myself "it is what it is." My attitude towards most of life is to do no harm, try not to judge, and if you do, just keep quiet. I don't ever say things like "who cares" and I'm never dismissive, but I also try to remember that most issues and events and experiences in life are complex, nuanced, life is just always weird and hard and shit happens and we have to roll with it. I'm very NON-competitive and despise when people try to compete with me because I will absolutely not play that game. I am quiet and observant, speak up when I want to but usually I like to see what others do first. I am private but I still know how to keep a conversation lively and interesting, I don't shut people out or clam up. I like for everyone else to be comfortable, and think of myself later because others being okay is how I feel okay too. I need immense alone time. I go along with most situations and activities and events (unless I really hate it or can't stand it - then I will speak up or get myself away).
All that being said, you can probably tell what kind of person I am. Just quiet, nice girl on the side who doesn't do anything good or bad, generally good vibes but never in the spotlight.
I used to think that this is just who I am. I've always been a quiet kid. But... am I actually just avoidant? Do I "act" easygoing but I'm not? But I am... aren't I? Or did I train myself to be so chill that I actually just became it? Am I good "listener" friend because I like to listen and help, or because I don't like to share and be judged myself? Do I need so much alone time because I like being alone or because I don't want to deal with people? Or can it be both and still healthy? Am I neutral because I want to understand all points of view or because I don't ever want to be too involved in anything or any situation? I'm asking myself all these questions and I can't answer them. I'm confusing myself.
I just don't know. I'm doubting myself a lot these days. Do I keep myself hidden and quiet and neutral and "chill" so that I can be invisible and avoid life and people and humanity - or because I genuinely prefer it that way? Am I actually even easygoing or have I suppressed so much of myself that I have no choice but to be easygoing? How can I know these things for sure? I just can't remember the last time I really felt extremely passionate or upset about anything.. is this a result of me being too detached or am I just finally in a stable, secure place in life, with no drama or problems? Is the fact that I can't answer these questions, the answer in itself that something is wrong? Or am I overthinking?
I tried to keep this short so I apologize that I couldn't lol. I thought I could explain myself in a few words but it's just a lot going on my mind lately. Thank you all for your advice and perspectives in advance. I just want to know how other people think, or if you are a similar personality as me, how you feel about it? Do you ever question yourself like this?

hi, my apologies for the post. I am simply wishing to sanity check myself here. I've spent the last 7-8 hours farming Helltide Events for the Damnation's Downfall objective. This is the one where you have to kill each of the Helltide Commanders while Profane Mindcage is up. I've been stuck at 4/5 killed basically the whole time. I know to farm Portal Events and the Giant Tornado.
I've killed Crux, Delakzus, Zurden, and Nemmnos plenty of times each.
From my Googling/Redditing around looking for the answer before posting it appears I'm missing either "Skeizal" or Kixxath, the Assassin bug dude counts as a helltide commander. So, my question is am I just getting super unlucky and should continue to camp events? The other option is Kixxath is the 5th commander and I need to look for his random spawn. Thank you for the help, I apprecate it :).

I recently found out that my husband has not only been paying women (not sure if it was just pictures or if there were meetups) for the duration of our dating relationship and marriage but he is also sexting his exwife. This is a second marriage for both of us. The first marriage ended due to infidelity caused by the other person. However now I'm second guessing if he was faithful to her too. We have no children together but we do have children separately. My heart breaks knowing that he is lying to my face everyday. We get along great like amazingly shared interests and we genuinely have good times. Our sex life was amazing as well, but on and off it will wither on his end. We both have high sex drives, but now it's once a month if that. Is it wrong if I choose to stay and not confront him? I have no job due to medical issues, we also only have one car. I'm the one who takes the kids both his and mine to their doctor appointments or goes to school events. I don't want to lose relationship with my stepchildren and my kids are attached to him. He is a good father, but a shit husband as I've learned. So would it be wrong to stay because with him there is financial security? That I can try to think of him strictly as a roommate so I can stop crying and beating myself up for choosing another cheater? I took my vows seriously, but apparently he didn't. I can't tell anyone IRL because I know they'll all say leave, but I don't have the resources too. As well as my stepkids view me as mom so I don't want to hurt them. I know this is all over the place. Sorry.

Here is my situation:
I am a 3rd year CS student and a veteran [relevant in terms of how I am financing college]. Essentially, I have grown concerned about remaining in CS due to seeing the mass tech layoffs, the way America doesn't appear to protect American tech workers jobs [i.e., we have to compete for jobs internationally since American companies like to outsource labor to other country's], or even the fact that this path seems a lot more grey-area ish than I anticipated. To clarify . . .
I am studying Computer Science with an emphasis in Software Engineering, I wanted to be able to build applications [generally speaking]. The issue here is that there is a lot of things not being said while I am in college pursuing this road, such as:
When I look on linkedin/indeed software engineering positions vary wildly in terms of the technologies they want you to know of [which I have never heard about ever], several coding languages, and a whole host of things that made me say "this degree doesn't particularly feel like it is preparing me to be competitive in the job market and this seems like a train leading to broken tracks."
It's as though I have more material to learn than time available in the day and people with no life other than breathing CS are the only ones who can exist in the space. I hear to do "projects" but that is rather vague, perhaps I should be thinking of a system of organization such as :
1) Identify what types of applications I want to make as a software engineer
2) what technologies/software is primarily used for building that particular type of application?
3) build projects that utilize those software's/technologies and have those viewable by the recruiter
4) live on leetcode?
Other than doing what I am supposed to be doing in school in terms of grades and knowing I need to land an internship at some point, I am quite unsure what I should be doing with my time to even be competitive in what appears to be a sinking ship/saturated market.
I was considering using my CS undergraduate degree to go to Law School thinking that being a licensed professional would solve a few problems being :
a) I don't have to compete with people in other countries that are willing to work for much less than Americans are.
b) Maybe law is better during recessions/lay-offs
c) perhaps law is less ambiguous of a career path than software engineering is. The fact that software engineering seems so ill-defined in terms of direction appears troublesome to me.
d) as a stem undergraduate I am more competitive in terms of law school applications [from what I read] and can also pursue specialized law practice that non-stem majors could not do [i.e., patent law/intellectual property]; ergo, it would be as though I haven't wasted my time spending 4 years in college.
IMPORTANT:
I would not graduate with debt in either case as my school costs should be covered in full.

Over the course of my 4 year marriage to my partner, I have arrived at the position that I was abused, manipulated, and functionally enslaved to a mentally ill partner.
In simplest form, the progression is apparently observable. She was diagnosed with cancer in October of 2019 while we were engaged. Due to the diagnosis, we moved up our actual marriage date (our wedding was still set for mid-April) to December 1, 2019. Her surgery was December 13, 2019. In my compassion for her, I agreed to move our wedding date up to offset her anxiety around who would be responsible for her if things went south with her surgical treatment.
Our first month of marriage was straightforward; she was on pain meds recovering from surgery, so the main engagement that occurred was me walking her up and down the hospital hallway as she recovered and trying to meet her base physical needs of hygiene, food, and presence. We stayed in the hospital for 2-3 weeks (with recurring hospital visits for complications).
Quickly after we figured out our marital living situation in her small 3-bed apartment with 2 roommates, our relationship devolved. Specifically, she was irritable because of the pain she was in, causing her to lash out at me with regular frequency for small things. If I didn’t put clothes away in the right place, didn’t anticipate her needs (without her communicating them), or ate the wrong food in front of her she would shout at me and decry me for my thoughtlessness.
These small, critical engagements were wounding and created a distance between us – and there was no upside. She was never kind, never paid mind to needs I might have, and started down a path of cultivating a root of bitterness in her soul. She quickly revealed herself to be venomous, hateful, and vindictive when she felt like she was wronged — and any observation of concern about our marriage resulted me in being accused of being mean or insensitive, even if I spent hours or days calculating the best way to share my concern (and I have a master’s degree in communication where I focused in studying disagreement — I know how to carefully package concerns).
During this time, I worked hard to provide for us, foreseeing a significant time period where I would have to be primary financial provider and caregiver. I increased my income each year we were married by around 25%, finishing our marriage at >$80,000 in yearly income, compared to starting our marriage at a modest $42,000 salary (including dramatically improving our healthcare). Frankly, I increased my income to provide for us in spite of the lack of support at home.
But to be clear: I don’t think it would have been particularly difficult to provide financially if I had an ounce of support at home.
However, the relentless criticism and expectation of mind-reading continued through the years. I rationalized this abuse for the first year of our marriage because of all the excuses to be cruel, she had a good one – she had cancer. I hung onto a hope that it would stop. Contrary to my hope, as the years went on – and our expenses climbed – and I continued to work myself to the bone – she continued to relentlessly critique and even started being more emotionally demanding, expecting me to take responsibility for her inability to cope with her emotions – I was drowning. She was asking too much of me. There was no deliverance from her abuse.
I was exhausted. In the peak of the abuse I endured at her hand, I was working multiple jobs, sleeping 10+ hours a night and napping frequently during the day around meetings and work, then coping with alcohol to numb myself to the abusive dynamic and fall asleep with no support from her. The only time I could approach her sexually was when I was intoxicated, with inhibitions lowered. The only time I could have a conversation with her was with a counselor in the room. Without something to mitigate opportunity for her to be cruel to me, either a mediator or self-medication, I was scared.
I lived at home in a constant state of alert and cognitive fatigue. No matter how I tried to make sense of my home life, I couldn’t. When she looked at or touched me, I would recoil in fear, anticipating some sort of incisive critique or demand expressed. Then she would criticize me for not responding warmly to her, exacerbating the cycle.
I couldn’t meet her needs – I was utterly exhausted. When I would tell her of the exhaustion I experienced in marital counseling, her responses were typically something along the lines of not believing me, denying what I was saying was true, or calling my exhaustion an ‘excuse’. I could interact happily with my friends… why not her?
I did not deny her demands were legitimate; rather, I expressed my inability to meet them because of how fatigued I was. I said ‘I can’t’ so many times. I realize her demands were small; affection, saying ‘i love you’, complimenting her. But it’s disorienting to be consistently berated and belittled by a person and then asked to compliment them and tell them you love them.
The push and pull of abuse is exhausting to a person who is not mentally because it does not make sense.
Further, in counseling I realized that I have forgotten that I have needs. I have lost the tools to even evaluate what my needs might be because, implicitly and explicitly in my marriage, I was told my needs don’t matter.
My marriage made no sense; I was obviously drowning, exhausted with the demands our life imposed on me. I was doing everything I could to get straight. I was in individual therapy, marital counseling, pastoral counseling, trying different antidepressants (4 in total – all with no effect), changing eating habits, trying to reduce my drinking, getting medical tests to see if I had health issues causing my fatigue, and being vulnerable in my friendships in an attempt to invite others in to process and move forward and figure out my marriage. I desperately shared everything I could about my marriage, hoping someone else would crack the code where I couldn’t.
None of my efforts worked. I could not get out of the exhausted state I was in. It’s worth noting here that within weeks of separating I almost completely cut out alcohol, got into a regular sleep schedule, was waking up at 6-7am every day and reading multiple hours (which I couldn’t do in marriage due to cognitive fatigue/distraction), and experienced a resurgence of energy. I have felt the duress I was under lift and lift and lift and the weeks and months have went on.
In retrospect, I was experiencing cognitive fatigue because I was taking the demands my wife was placing on me seriously, but no matter what I did I could not make sense of them. How could she not see that I was doing everything I could to make ends meet – the ends which she was imposing on me? I did not have additional energy left. She would ask me ‘Do you love me?’ and I didn’t know how to respond. How is my work not at least some symbol of love? My dream was to be a poor professor, which she knew – instead I was grinding myself to the bone, working in digital marketing with multiple freelance projects, picking up a bartending gig and a teaching gig on top of full-time employment.
The last straw was when she accused me of abuse. I took that accusation seriously, and weighed it against my experience. ‘Am I an abuser?’ I asked myself. I sorted through my behavior and how I treated her. I came to the conclusion that I may be a poor husband in serious ways; but I am not an abuser. And the abuse question opened the door to the question… ‘I may not be an abuser… but is there abuse in our marriage?’ And the answer quickly became ‘Yes.’
When we were married, I understood that she wasn’t going to work much for a while. However, she worked the bare minimum she could for 4 years, earning at most in a single year $18,000. As the years went on and my income climbed, our debt continued to climb as well. She was still contributing the same, yet spending frivolously on useless knick knacks for our home and a cat. As I packed up our home to sell, the majority of items were dozens of boxes of useless junk she’d accumulated.
She lived a life of mania around finances. We would go to marital counseling and she would regularly express, ‘I would rather be poor and happy than rich and sad’. We were poor and sad. Sure, my income was the highest it’d ever been – but we were still drowning, with debts climbing. At the end of our marriage, we’d accumulated about $20,000 in consumer debt between credit cards and personal loans.
It was traumatizing (and abusive) to go to counseling and be told by my partner she would ‘rather be poor and happy and than rich and sad’ when the factual scenario we were living was neither. She actively denied reality – both my lived experience and the reality of our finances – at my expense. It was killing me, trying to make sense of what we were going through but being unable to make sense of what I was being told and what I was experiencing.
Throughout this time, it is worth adding that she also leveraged my spiritual leadership to ‘set me straight’. I was in a conservative Evangelical space, believing that men are the ultimate provider in a family unit and primarily responsible for the status of the marriage. Because I was not doing what she wanted me to (lavishing her with affection), I was muscled into multiple groups and meetings where pastoral care intervened to restore our marriage. In the moment, I submitted to my pastoral care because of my trust for them and my faith in God. Now, I believe this dynamic was abusive; my pastoral care did not care in any sense for my soul; they only cared about fixing my marriage. No questions around ‘why’ my marriage was so bad were asked; only what was going on and how it could be fixed. I relish the thought of my pastoral care being held accountable for the abuse they exercised upon me during this time on judgment day, albeit through a shaken faith in a God that would enable this dynamic.
With my spiritual community, I shared that I felt like she was my tormentor; that she it felt as if I were on the ground due to exhaustion, and she was standing on my throat, telling me to ‘get up’ and ‘tell me you love me’; that our metaphorical life was a boat, sinking, and I was desperately bailing out water. All the while, she stood at the other end of the boat, desperately bailing water in and looking at me like I was a maniac.
And yet, because there was no adultery, there was no category for divorce. We had sworn an oath before God and were required to fix this.
As I reflect upon my marriage (and the ongoing divorce proceedings), a few things are clear.
She is an abuser. I don’t think she intends to be, but impact matters. She is mentally ill and unable to reckon with basic reality.
She is a manipulator. She manipulated my spiritual community against me. I was viewed as someone to be corrected while begging for help from my trusted friends and pastoral care, whom I now regret being vulnerable with due to their abuse and denial of my reality because I didn’t fit neatly into their thin theological categories.
She is an enslaver. In divorce proceedings, she is doing everything she can to get every dollar from me, leveraging student loans I did not co-sign, my continually increasing income due to my hard work, and denying every claim of dissipated assets she can.
It is truly a mind-breaking experience to see your compassion leveraged against you for money. I had to sit under an attorney proclaiming to a judge that, since I consented to move up our marriage date before her cancer surgery, ‘I knew what I was getting into’. That she is entitled to large sums of money (that do not exist; we never had more than $3000 in our bank account during marriage) due to that decision.
Even apart from the abuse, I did not know what I was getting into. Including the abuse, I am full of remorse for having invited such an evil, hateful person into my life.
This experience has been the most challenging to my faith. As I endured abuse from her, I trusted God in a few ways. That the compassion I showed would maybe be rewarded – or, at least not punished. That my spiritual community wanted what was best for me. That God was not a punitive, hateful God (like my partner). I do not believe this trust was well placed, but am open to shortcomings in my views here.
I struggle to consent to a God that allowed my experience to occur. I’m open and processing in some kind of faith, but I really don’t know what it looks like to find a place to put this pain and betrayal that I’m experiencing.
I am a survivor of abuse, and the abuse I endured was mind-shattering. I sacrificed everything to support a partner diagnosed with serious bodily illness, which drove her to hate me and deny my lived experience because she could not reconcile it with the hatefulness she cultivated over our marriage, choosing bitterness over any positivity for four years, poisoning my well-being in the process.
What I envisioned to be the most compassionate moment of my life — marrying a person with cancer and promising to support and love them — has become nothing but a symbol of pain and remorse. I envisioned a life where my partner and I would fight against the terror of cancer; instead she hopped to the other side, choosing her ongoing health issues as the ally and myself as the enemy.
It took me 4 years to realize it. And as she drags me through court to leverage every dollar out of me I can, my only regret is that I didn’t leave my abuser to her own devices sooner; self-pity, hatefulness, and a sheer disregard toward taking responsibility for anything.
I am grateful but drowning. As we are negotiating settlement, the end is near, and my abuser will soon be unable to execute any influence in my life.

Hi, all.
I have a question regarding the specification of a mixed effects model in R. I have a model formulated as such:
Y = a_it + b1_i * X + b2_i * G + b3 * D
a = fixed effect intercep with indices i and t b1 = random effect with indices i b2 = random effect with indices i b3 = control variables
Do I need to incorporate the random effects, also as an fixed effect?
When I tried to calculate R2. I've getting an error as such: "Random slopes not present as fixed effects. This artificially inflates the conditional random effect variances. Solution: Respecify fixed structure!"
I'm not sure if it's appropriate to do this.
I have the structural code in R: model <- lmer(Y ~ i * t + d1 + d2 + d3 + (0 + X + G i), data = df)
Thanks in advanced!

I was homeless, in between getting back on medication and in the process of replacing the medication I was on.
I had a breakdown in public, I was ranting to nobody, crying, and acting completely out of character. I said something, and someone passing by told me to f*ck off. I assaulted that invidiaul moments later.
After the altercation took place I was arrested, I told the Officer during the arrest I was suffering from psychosis. The following day I made bail, but several news articles were posted online without any mention of a mental health crisis.
I already have a really blank job history from the past ten years, and I been homeless on more than one occassion spanning several months at a time.
However, now I don't know how I'm suppose to ever find a room, or housing rental with my name plastered all over the internet. Let alone find a job.
It's been several months, and I've been stable on medication since. But if it wasn't for family I'd still be facing homelessness, and without them I don't know how I'm going to manage to survive with this out there.

Long story short;
My partner has asked for an open physical relationship last year. I reluctantly agreed putting their feelings above my own but said I didn’t want them coming home telling me about it and it was physical only.
Obviously, that blew up in my face. Omission, flat out lies and the whole EA side of things - coupled with it actually being a mutual friend in an FWB type setup.
I asked them to call it off as I wasn’t on board. They did, job done right?
Wrong. They went out to a concert with this person around Christmas, got stupid drunk and ended up making out with them. They eventually told me, I was devastated
We got into a pretty intense bout of questioning from me where it turned out more things had happened which they flat out lied to me about in the first place (not by omission, specifically stating things weren’t happening that were)
Since that they allegedly cut off this person, told them they are no longer friends and not to contact them.
Obviously they have, little meaningless things but contact all the same
To me that either means my partner didn’t set that boundary or isn’t enforcing it
I asked them to let me know if they ever got in contact. That is apparently stepping on their liberty, but they finally agreed reluctantly
They think it’s not a big deal, because it isn’t to them and I shouldn’t be so worried about it but I don’t think they understand the damage that has been done to my trust with the trickle truthing of the whole thing. They are fed up with me asking because they’ve told me everything and have nothing more to say
I keep going back to the issue because for me, it isn’t resolved. I get berated for seemingly wanting to know details and asking sometimes very awkward questions about what actually happened which - and I quote - “I have no right to ask questions like that”
I’ve tried explaining that it damaged my trust and in order for that to rebuild I have to want to trust, and they have to consistently demonstrate they can be trusted
It doesn’t help that since Christmas there’s been a slew of other things, all totally inconsequential, that my partner has lied to me about and subsequently TT’d me on as well. Sometimes never even getting close to the lie.
I snooped on their phone last week because I had to know the truth
I’d already tried months of presenting my case, pleading, begging for the truth - even going so far as to say I was developing trust issues and couldn’t believe what I was being told. Apparently “thats entirely a you problem to sort”
At least I didn’t find evidence of cheating, but everything else I suspected was true
They’re now telling me that my behaviour is questionable and they don’t know if they can be ok with that. I explained the whole broken trust thing and was told “you can therapise yourself as much as you want. You need to take a look at your thoughts, you are a very confused person”
What on earth do I do here?

Chapter 2: Shadows in the Dark
The Willowbrook Sheriff's Department was unusually quiet, a somber stillness hanging over the bullpen. It had been two days since the grisly discovery in the woods, and the small town was still reeling from the shock and horror of it all. Deputy Sarah Harding sat at her desk, staring blankly at the crime scene photos spread before her. The images were seared into her mind - the mangled remains, the blood-soaked leaves, the strange, unsettling tracks that seemed to belong to no known animal.
But it was what she had seen and heard in the forest that night that haunted her most. The glowing yellow eyes, the bone-chilling growl...it was like something out of a nightmare. And yet, she knew with grim certainty that it was all too real.
Sheriff Ethan Blackwood emerged from his office, his face haggard and his eyes shadowed with exhaustion. He'd been pouring over the scant evidence for hours, desperately searching for some clue that could lead them to the killer. But so far, all they had were more questions than answers.
"Tell me we've got something," he said, his voice rough with fatigue as he approached Sarah's desk. "Anything that can shed some light on what the hell is going on here."
Sarah shook her head, frustration evident in the tense set of her shoulders. "Nothing concrete. The coroner's report came back, but it's just confirming what we already suspected - the victim was mauled by some kind of large predator. But the specifics of the attack, the savagery of it...it doesn't match any known animal in the area."
Ethan's jaw clenched, his gaze distant as he recalled the eerie scene in the woods. The way Sarah had described the glowing eyes watching her from the darkness, the otherworldly growl that had raised the hairs on the back of his neck...it was like something out of a horror movie. And yet, he couldn't dismiss it. Not when he'd seen the raw, primal fear in his deputy's eyes.
"What about the tracks?" he asked, grasping at straws. "Have we been able to identify what made them?"
Sarah pulled out a photo, the image grainy but clear enough to make out the distinctive paw prints. They were huge, easily dwarfing a human hand, and the claws...Ethan suppressed a shudder. Whatever had made those marks, it was no ordinary beast.
"I've sent the images to every wildlife expert and cryptozoologist I could find," Sarah said, shaking her head. "But so far, no one's been able to give me a definitive answer. Some say it could be a bear, others insist it's a wolf...but they all agree on one thing. The size and depth of those tracks...it's like nothing they've ever seen before."
Ethan scrubbed a hand over his face, the weight of the case settling heavily on his shoulders. They were dealing with an unknown predator, one that seemed to defy all logical explanation. And with each passing day, the likelihood of another attack grew higher.
"Okay," he said at last, his voice grim with resolve. "We need to widen our search. Talk to the old-timers, the hunters, anyone who might have seen or heard something that could give us a lead. And we need to warn the public. Tell them to stay out of the woods until further notice, and to report any unusual sightings immediately."
Sarah nodded, already reaching for the phone. "I'll put the word out. And I'll keep digging into the historical records, see if there have been any similar attacks in the past that might give us some insight."
As she set to work, Ethan retreated to his office, his mind racing. He couldn't shake the feeling that they were dealing with something beyond their understanding. Something that lurked in the shadows, waiting to strike again.
And as he stared out the window at the dense, dark forests that surrounded Willowbrook, he couldn't help but wonder...
What kind of monster were they dealing with?

I have become friends with an older lady. She is 85 and from Russia and her health is just not that well. She does not have many friends and I met her while working and now she cooks me food once a week. We were talking about birthdays today and she is almost 86 and then she just randomly brought up death. She just straight asked me what I think happens when we die. I responded that I honestly did not know. She said she thinks nothing happens. She seemed very sad.
Back when I was Mormon I had an answer to this type of question. It definitely made conversations like this easier. I now consider myself agnostic and honestly have no clue what happens when we die. It has given me some amount of existential dread if I'm going to be honest. The conversation that I had with my adoptive Russian grandma was not negative but I honestly do not know how to respond. She does not have many people in her life and I want to be a source of positivity for her.
She seems pretty certain in her atheism but she was still asking me what I thought about it all and my religious upbringing and stuff. She specifically said she does not want to die at one point and that she likes being alive. That was what got me a little. I don't know that she is all THAT close to death but she is closer than not and is kind of a recluse right now and so I'm sure it's on her mind a lot.
Any advice on this topic of conversation would be helpful.

All answers i got until now where "why would you do it manually, just do the auto installer"
So my first question is: how does the auto installer work? It just says that for the current game version there is no SPT.
How does it know that? I dodnt even give the auto installer any path to any game, how do I tell the installer what EFT version to use?
Also why even Patch the game? Why not use the compatible version for the current SPT verion? Does it just search my entire computer for the original BSG EFT install path and use whatever game version is there?
I have a backup of the exact verion the 3.8.0 and 3.8.3 need, how do i tell the autoinstaller to use that?
Alternatively if anyone here has any experience in simply dragging a folder into another one and launching a program (aka manually installing spt) pls read my older post and help me there
I have issues with installing 3.8.3, manually it doesnt work, it says its a wrong version but according to github its the correct one, and as said before, the auto installer doesnt work at all

Pretty sure I'll be laid off this summer. In the past, they've laid off late July and tell you you'll be paid until the end of August before the new fiscal year begins. My friends who have been laid off said they're told they don't have to come in but work from home. It got me thinking...what happens if you take your time answering emails during that time? Do they change your status to terminated? If you get braces for your child in July with the PPO dental insurance, do you have to pay the insurance portion back? Trying to get all medical appointments and dental work done before August.

Hi. I'm an FY1 Doctor currently working in a sizeble Paediatric ED. Background of working as an HCA/HCSW before/during med school so usually find it easy to get on with nursing colleagues. But now that I've moved to my first EM placement I'm finding I'm butting heads a bit when it comes to working under pressure with my nursing colleagues.
Just wondered if I could get some advice on a few things that have come up?

1. What's the etiquette in speaking to nurses whilst they're preparing/administering medication? I don't want to interrupt but sometimes plans change very quickly (especially in ED).
   
2. How often is the right amount to update nurses? Obviously everytime the plan significantly changes or something is prescribed, but how often in the shift is right for catch ups/board rounds?
   
3. Ward nurses station phones - should I be answering? At least half the time it's something I can't help with or the person is looking to speak to a nurse - then I feel I need to pass on the phone which might not be appreciated? Do you want/expect doctors to answer the ward phones?
   

Thanks for your advice, just trying to make my life (and my colleagues) a little easier.

Looking for someone who has an interest, or practices any form of martial arts.
If you simply want to try your luck in a fight, that's fine too.
I'm looking for an opponent for a written Underground Fighting Roleplay. (~40 minutes to 1h30 per fight)
Basically, we fight each other through typing our moves turn by turn until one of us is defeated.
Multiple paragraphs are not needed. 1-3 lines of a good description of your attacks is more than appreciated.
I prefer prompt responses, we set up a time, we fight, maybe we analyze when it's over, and we go about our day. Always nice to make a friend in the process. A fight usually lasts 40 minutes to 1h30 considering replies are prompt. Fights can end much quicker or much later, considering the volatile nature of fighting.
What I can provide you with:

• 4 years of martial arts experience (MMA) and online fighting experience
• Descriptive and immersive writing skills
• Willingness to compromise and answer all related questions
• Maximum comfortability

Link to visual for arena: https://imgur.com/a/VSueJR3
DM me if interested, and we can swap stats and I'll share the Terms of Comat (rules).
Challengers must be 18 and above.