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here I am! my name is Amy :D I’m just on here looking for some possibly new homies! all because making friend irl is way to stressful🫡
uhh here’s a little about ya girl
i am a certified shawty standing at a massive 5’1 (yes i know, please don’t be scared of my massive height), uhh I am half Thai and half British! But I legit look Thai but sound so posh, it’s is terrible😭
I go to the beach daily but I cannot swim 👍 the water is just so pretty 😭 uhh I have a moped that may be the coolest vehicle ever! I am also a massive car fan, if you have a cool car😭 I’m in love!

I had my first psychosis at age 17. Since then I have been to the psych ward 10+ times and rehab 3 times. I’m 24 now. Every delusion I was able to conquer and rise up from, but for the past two years, there has been a dilemma that comes in painful waves, and that dilemma is mind reading. I have to stop myself from thinking about it when it first starts up in my brain or else it will get ugly real quick. To explain what happens when I am like this, my entire reality, my entire livelihood all my experiences all my memories, they become irrelevant and everything is at stake. It all vanishes and it’s like my body is hanging on a thread. The fear is immense and crippling. I mean to think you’re not safe in your own thoughts, it’s insanity. I am a guy and not afraid to say this has made me cry many many times. It just never seems to go away. I try and use logic as much as I can, like “How is poker a thing if we can read minds”, or, to try and justify, I’ll stare at some random stranger and in my head I’m screaming “Look at me! look at me!” But they never do…
I’m not boasting here but let me just say, I truly have an amazing life and nothing to complain about. I am confident I will find a girl as I like to think I am pretty confident and attractive, and I also graduated from CU Boulder University and have a near six figure income. I take life seriously, and my lows prevented me from sitting on my butt. There was just too much pain in the way, the pain of being a nothing in life, that drove me to be highly successful. I haven’t been to the psych ward in 2 years. With that being said, I don’t really get bad lows anymore. If it’s a low nowadays, it’s from this dilemma.
Moral of the story I reread many bipolar info pages and what really hit me was many of them explained how we, as bipolar patients, ignore all logic when it comes to delusions. And you know what? That really helped me. It really hit home. It happened again earlier today, the dilemma. I thought about getting a therapist today as I felt I had to tell someone, but I guess I’ll just type this here, and title it “Off My Chest”. Thanks for reading I was just tired of holding this in for so long. I felt like I needed to tell someone. Couldn’t tell my friends without tainting the relationship. Couldn’t tell my parents without them calling the psych ward police on me. Just very alone dealing with this alone. And for something so stupid like “mind reading”.

When deciding to write this, I had to reconcile an issue; how do I advertise myself to you when I don't actually like who I am right now? The best answer I could come to was that I should just be open and hope that it resonates with someone :)
So I'll say all the boring stuff now to get it out of the way; I'm a 24 y/o living in Sydney, working in accounts. I'm 6'2, average body size, caucasian with brown hair and eyes. I'm happy to trade pics to verify if we click too. In terms of what I'm looking for physically, I'm not too picky at all. In fact, the only preference I have is that you aren't heavily overweight (chubby is fine!). Although that said, I suppose if you must know my 'type', it's girls with glasses.
So a bit more about me; I'm a bit of a nerd. I read manga in my spare time, I play video games when I can (games like ck3, hollow knight, Pokemon, those kinds of games, not so much COD or CS:GO) and I like a bunch (and hate a bunch) of Marvel movies. I also to play sports, used to play Aussie Rules and basketball in high school and now soccer in a Sunday league. So it'd be really nice to meet someone I can talk to about the hobbies we share, although I doubt we NEED to have hobbies in common if we click, it's just a bonus I think. That said I would love to discord and chill if we click, maybe watch some anime or play a game together?
I also wanna write a little bit about why I'm posting on here, I want to be fully open about my desires and aspirations from this post. I'm quite an introvert, although I tend to open up around a bit around friends. Speaking of which, I don't have too many of them. I have just a few close friends and that's pretty much it. I'd love that special someone to end up being my best friend, as cliche as that sounds. Someone I can just be myself with, who loves me for who I am, again quite cliche I suppose. I do have troubles really opening myself up to new people, and part of deciding to post this is with the goal of getting better at talking to strangers (although hopefully we're not strangers for long :). Hopefully you're someone that lives close enough that we could consider meeting if we really like each other.
So yeah, that's about it I think. Thanks for reading all the way through this, hopefully I didn't just ramble. If you happen to somehow like anything in this post, feel free to message, my dms are open :)

Hello everyone,
My primary use case for iPad is note-taking (including split screen), reading, watching lectures (alongside notes), YouTube, movies, and playing FC Mobile.
My budget only allows me to buy the latest Air. The 11" Air will be slightly easier on the wallet, but I'll need to stretch a bit for the 13" Air, especially because I NEED Apple Pencil with it. I wanna get the Pencil Pro because of its way better charging mechanism.
Should I get the 11" or the 13"? I don't wanna use it alongside my laptop, which is one purpose of getting it: if I have to use it alongside my laptop, it kinda defeats the purpose of buying it.
Also, I cannot go to any Apple Store to check them for myself, because I'm in a "shit hole" country called Pakistan.
Any advice is highly appreciated.

Hi just a little background: My leopard gecko is having diarrhea since yesterday. She is about 1.5 yrs old and she has been with us for way over a year now. We moved about 3 weeks ago which could be a huge stress factor. On top of this she has had some eye issues due to vitamin A deficiency. She had issues with some stuck shed in her eyes that got a bit infected. I immediately took her to the vet when i noticed where they cleaned her eyes and got some antibiotic drops, but this alone did not help. I went to another vet who seemed to be way more experienced and they said she had a vitamin A deficiency. Turns out the multivitamins i was dusting with were probably not stored properly, so i changed them. She has been refusing food due to the eye issues for a while on and off but that was about over a month ago and by the time we moved she seemed okay, she was being active again. Now she hasnt eaten for about 2 weeks. That is fine since she has been through a whole lot of stress lately, but the diarrhea is concerning. I will get back to the vet tomorrow, until then do you guys have any tips? I noticed that due to moving i had to change her lamps position to achieve a nice temperature gradient with the basking spot and the cool side being ideal. However right now that gets her favourite hide a bit warmer, and basically the whole setup is different. I will move around some of her stuff, i just really hope this is not another infection.

Life was perfectly normal and mundane until the day I inherited the Magic 8 Ball from a distant relative who had recently passed away. At first, it seemed like a quirky keepsake, a relic of childhood nostalgia. But as I held it in my hands one overcast evening, an unsettling feeling crept over me. There was something off about it, a strange, almost ominous vibe that seemed to emanate from its old, worn surface. I glanced at my wife, blissfully unaware, sitting across the room. Our love had always felt like a sanctuary, yet now, this seemingly innocuous toy had introduced an inexplicable sense of dread into our home. It just felt off, like something not meant to induce tension into the air but certainly did at the time. I never mentioned it to Anna since the evening was beautiful, and the mood was full of anticipation for the upcoming playoff game. We were looking forward to some good old hockey. As a joke, I asked the Magic 8 Ball if our home team was going to win the game, chuckling at the childish stupidity that brought back fond memories of my youth.
“Cannot say now,” the 8 Ball in my calloused hand read a few seconds later.
I wasn't surprised by the answer, knowing it was just a toy with a limited set of responses. Maybe I'd ask it again during the first intermission, I thought to myself. As the puck dropped, the game started with a few penalties and a goal against us just before the initial 20 minutes of the period ended. I had almost forgotten about the toy relic that had been passed down to me recently. As the first intermission progressed, I picked up the 8 Ball again and asked if our team would win against the opposing team.
“Certainly, it will be legendary,” I read after a short pause.
Initially, I thought it was an odd answer, but what did I know? It was probably made in the '60s when people were a bit more open-minded to quirky responses. I smiled at Anna and showed her the response. She found it funny, and her laugh, as always, became the highlight of the moment. Her laughter has always been the center point of my love and affection for her, making her the undeniable lead honcho in any group she’s a part of. During the 2nd and 3rd periods, we witnessed our home team not only tie the game but score an additional 4 goals in rapid succession against the opposing team. It was not only legendary as the 8 Ball predicted, but it also sent the stadium into a roaring frenzy. Later, it was said that the noise level matched that of an Airbus A-220.
"It seems the Magic 8 Ball helped me win my $20 bet on our home team," I said confidently to my wife. "Probably just by chance, but who knows? I could use it to predict Friday's lottery numbers."
She smiled and told me to give it a shot, but I knew it was futile. Just like trying not to wake Anna up while leaving for work, it always ended with her sensing the creaking floorboards. About a few days had passed before we ended up having a heated argument about the dreaded topic of having kids in the future, I of course never want the sobbing, snot wheezing kids that take up 150% of your future time and life that could be used for retirement time in Hawaii. But, of course, she had bipolar opposite views on the topic. She wanted kids, perhaps to sow our six-year marriage back together. I, on the other hand, was dead set against it, feeling as if she were trying to force feed me a hefty dose of the plague. At the time, I had just stormed out of the room to cool off and muttered something I still regret to this day.
“Damn it, when will Anna's obsession with having kids ever end?” I grumbled to myself in frustration.
Suddenly, the 8 ball I’d left in the den flashed with a bright white light, like a screen turning on. Just as quickly, the flash disappeared, replaced by a simple message on its black surface.
“Soon enough, Derrick,” the ball read, almost mockingly.
My focus shifted from Anna's relentless talk about kids to the unnerving fact that the 8 ball not only knew my name but also had an answer for such a ridiculous question. I hadn’t even touched the thing—don’t you need to shake it for it to work? At this point, I was tempted to toss that relic into the trash and be done with it, but being a bit stubborn, I decided to let the demonic thing be and left it to its own devices. A few days had passed, and Anna and I had made up after our brief argument on that chilly Tuesday afternoon when I got home from work. She promised to hold off on bringing it up again for a while and to let me consider our options going forward. Life has been running smoothly again, and our home hockey team won their semi-finals match today, heading to the finals. Anna and I are caught up in the excitement of tomorrow night's game and are pretty pleased with how this year has gone, especially with our 7th anniversary just around the corner!
Work has been dragging lately, and I find myself just wanting to fast-forward to the day I wake up next to Anna and kiss her passionately on our long-awaited 7th anniversary, which is now just a few days away. As for the 8 ball of unknown origin, it's still just sitting dormant in the den. To be honest, I'm quite surprised it hasn't detonated or flashbanged me again whenever I step in there to grab some work files on clients. But no, it just sits there menacingly, waiting to tell me something I don't want to hear.
Anna and I had planned a special outing for our 7th anniversary. We decided to visit our favorite local donut shop around noon. As we prepared to leave, I grabbed the old magic 8 ball, intending to throw it away on the way there. As we approached the intersection on 136th street, the light was red. With a playful smile, I asked the 8 ball one last question.
"Will the light turn green soon?" I asked, grinning at my overjoyed wife.
"Unfortunately, yes," the 8 ball replied.
I showed Anna the response, and she chuckled, thinking the toy wanted us to be stuck at the red light. When the light turned green, we started to cross the intersection. Suddenly, Anna gasped and clutched her chest. I managed to swerve to the side of the road just in time to avoid an oncoming car. I pulled over, my heart pounding, and turned to her in panic.
"Anna, what's wrong?" I asked, fear gripping me.
"I don't know," she whispered, her face pale and sweaty. "I just feel... so weak."
I rushed her to the hospital, where doctors ran a series of tests. After what felt like an eternity, they diagnosed her with a rare and severe illness. The news hit me like a ton of bricks, and I felt the world spinning around me. For the next few weeks, Anna's condition worsened. I spent every moment by her side, watching helplessly as she battled the illness. The magic 8 ball sat untouched in the den, its last message haunting me.
"Unfortunately, yes," it had said.
Despite the grim prognosis, Anna showed that sickness can't stop her indominable human spirit. We took things one day at a time, finding solace in each other's company. Our 7th anniversary passed quietly in the hospital, but it was a day filled with love rather than despair. As the weeks turned into months, Anna's condition slowly worsened. The doctors were hoping it would get better eventually.
One day, I decided to confront the magic 8 ball. I picked it up and asked, "Will Anna get better?"
The answer floated to the surface: "Signs point to no."
I refused to showed Anna the response, it would only make things worse. We placed the 8 ball back on the shelf, as a relic of doomful honesty, but as a symbol of the future and the past. Our journey wasn't over yet, I have to spend as much time with her before she departs.

I'm watching Disenchantment for the first time and I'm really curious about thoughts of Elfo as an RP character. I'm interested in trying to see it through in one of my games, but I'm also curious how playing him would look. I'm thinking of making him in Baldur's Gate 3, but the dynamics of the camp in my first play through kind of make me think he's not going to be the best of adventurers.
IMO, he's just a lovesick, lonely half-elf who is super sweet and kind of goofy/unhelpful. But also, while he's accepted by Bean, and Luci, they also still rag on him. Otherwise, I don't think he's very much acknowledged by anyone else. Is there a way that you would characterize him that would give off the adventurer vibe? What traits do you see in him that might actually be helpful to a party of adventurers? What type of people/traits (a party of him + 3 others) would you think would work with someone who is typically in the background but who kind of needs to be at the forefront?

I genuinely don't know what to do in this situation. I can't tell if I have issues or what, but I feel like a monster for how I am feeling right now. I'm on my last year of high school before I go to college, so, I think I need to unload some stuff here right now. This might be a long vent, but here it goes.
Way before my mom got cancer, me and her have a very complicated relationship, you know, the typical teenager and traditional, old school parents kinda thing. Understandably, I'm known to be a lazy, spoiled, arrogant, and selfish kid, who doesn't give a shit about anybody else except for himself. Since I was younger, that was how I was raised, I had everything already ready on my hands. Besides that, I have some attention/ focus issues, as I would daydream unusually way too much and I have low understanding skills, thus always getting left behind by my classmates. I have high self-awareness on my flaws, and that is part of the problem.
My mother has always been strict with me and my older brother, for a good reason. She grew up very.poor and had to work hard for decades to get to where we are. This took a massive toll on her health, as she now has an autoimmune condition and her body had been failing her. I always considered my brother to the favorite child, because he's the smartest, most diligent, and loyal kid in the family -- unlike me. My mom has always claimed that she loves us all equally, but she always compares me to my brother, and even my friends, who are always winning trophies and getting top grades in school. I never won a trophy or medal before, and never got the top grades.
School was always something I struggled with. I'm pretty sure I have ADHD but I haven't confirmed yet. I tried asking my mom if I could perhaps see a doctor or try to get her attention on my problems, but my mom is the type of parents that doesn't believe in mental health and just called me a "lazy, selfish, brat". She uses the claim that "You haven't suffered before, there are others having worst than you" and etc. She brushes away my problems, claiming them to be a negative flaw of mine. Not only that, she is also homophobic, much to the dismay of my closeted self. I know about my flaws and I've been trying to better myself, but because of the things that I did, my mother has zero trust in me and continued to treat me as if I was going to do something bad again.
Because of this, thoughts of suicide and even more violent thoughts arrived. There were many times where I had attempted to do it, but I was too much of a coward, another flaw that my mom pointed out. Quarantine took a massive impact on me and I have felt like absolute shit. My mind became so down in the deeps, that I even developed an unhealthy addiction to something that I am too ashamed to mention here, but just so you know, it is something that ruined my life, relationships and my sleep. Nobody knows that I have this addiction.
Then, at one point, I broke down and told my mom about my issues and how I attempted suicide. But all she did was brush it off and used those same words again, and then it became a joke. Since then, my emotions went from sad and utterly depressed, to just full on anger and hatred. Me and my mom would get into more frequent arguments and such, but it was nothing too big and wasn't that much. But that all changed a few months back.
A few months back, my mom was diagnosed with cancer. It broke her and the family apart. I hated seeing my mom in this condition, always in pain, crying and screaming because of the painful medicine and treatment, and just, she was in absolute pain. But she still continued work from the early morning until the late of evening, just to support us. I tried doing my best to help her, but she told to just "focus on my studies and graduate". I even offered to find a job or something besides school, but she told me that it was stupid and that a child shouldn't have to do this. My mom still cares about me, despite the fact that she was slowly dying.
However, perhaps because of the treatment and the fact that she doesn't have much time left. my mother became much more angrier. Everyday now, she would shout and berate people, from waiters in restaurants, the entire family (even my grandparents), my father, and me. My brother is living abroad in a different country, which means that he doesn't understand what's happening on home, which is why I couldn't talk much about my mom with him because he always assumes I'm overreacting.
Eventually, all that anger and frustration that my mom felt, all came down to me. She would take out it out me verbally and emotionally, by berating me, screaming at me in public, and calling me all sorts of terrible things. She wants to see me become perfect and succeed, thus why, I believe she was being super strict with me. I stopped fighting back with her and I just endured all the anger, as I knew that if I retorted, she would die quicker.
However, I guess the breaking point was an argument in the hospital. There was a miscommunication between me and her, which led to the worst berating of my life. She called me a "heartless brat" and "a piece of shit", and claimed that I don't love her and I only want her alive for the money. I couldn't take it anymore so I shouted back, and told her that I wish I was never born to be her child, and then I stormed out from the hospital, unable to keep myself calm any longer.
And now since then, our relationship has been growing more complicated. Some days, she would be fine and happy to be with me and the rest of the family. But on most days, she would just explode. The berating got worse with me, especially how she told me that she would rather die than see me become a failure. I have also grown more violent, as I would now punch or hit my head on the walls, and I wanted to kill myself not because of my depression, but because of pure anger and spite at everything. I started treating everybody like shit, always getting angry at them and secretly feeling hatred and envy towards my friends. I had thoughts of beating people up or hurting others physically, and some more violent thoughts, but I just couldn't find the right chance to do that. I even planned my suicide and secretly wrote a note, ready to use it when the time comes.
As I am typing this now, me and my mom had another big fight regarding a schoolwork of mine. In one of our classes, we were supposed to have some kind of project fair, basically presenting our essay. It was supposed to tomorrow, but the dumbass, boring teacher that everybody hates moved it to Tuesday -- the day that me, my family, and mom will be going out of the country to treat my mom at an advanced hospital. The teacher then claimed that for those who did not show up, they will get a zero. The teacher is known to hate teaching his students, doesn't bother to make the class engaging, and would give people low scores no matter what. Because of this, my mom had to admit about her cancer to the teacher and why I should present tomorrow, instead of Tuesday. My teacher luckily agreed and I would be presenting it tomorrow alone, which is fine. My mom emailed me the message about that news. However, I accidentally misread something in the message, which would become a terrible fault of mine. Today, when my mom was talking the project to me, there was a word that I didn't recognize and tried to ask what she meant. This exploded her and she screamed, berated me for the entire afternoon, because I had misread one word.
Now, I have locked myself up in my bedroom, typing this. I want to just jump out from my window and end it there. My mom always told me that the reason for her cancer, was because of me. So if I just end myself now, I don't think my mom will be in pain anymore. I know my mom doesn't mean what she said, but words hurt a lot more than anything. I want to get out of here, but at the same time, I want to stay. If I try to talk about this with my mom, she'll just berate me again and call me ungrateful again. I think I'm in my breaking point and I don't know what to do. I hate myself, and I want to end it. I can't take it anymore.
Am I being selfish? I'm sorry that this is a long vent, I just need to release some steam. I love my mom so much and she has made so many sacrifices, just to feed us and build a roof over our heads. I want to help her, but I am genuinely conflicted. Hopefully one day, I can resolve our relationship. I don't know what to do. I just want my mom to understand me.

As much hate as the game gets for not being as good as the Arkham games, therea s one thing I do really enjoy with it.
I love after you stop some crimes that the GCPD start to show up and you have to get out of there or they'll start shooting you. It feels very Batman and think it's a great addition to the game that I haven't seen any other superhero game have
Also, Gotham looks great with the lights and fog and the way capes move on the batcycle and the music plays is very cool.
I'm enjoying the game, and I'm playing solo so I bet it's even more fun with co-op. If you don't compare it too much to Arkham, it's a great addition for anyone who likes the world of Batman.

I've listened to the audiobook over 5 times now (don't have time for reading so I listen to audiobooks)
CCW has taught me the importance of not over pursuing, no contact, only using the phone and texting for making dates, being more keen when it comes to choosing someone to date, not wasting time with women who don't show least a moderate level of attraction and knowing what type of woman that I want.
But the issue I'm conflicted with is having sex before I get to know her, is hookup culture the new norm in dating? I don't consider myself to be a txt book example of a devout Christian but I've become more socially conservative over time and more prudish to where in my 20's
I had no problem with having sex and hookups first and then seeing where it went but in my 40's I'm not sure what's happened to me, over the past few months I've really made an effort at improving my social skills and can make small talk with anyone and have good conversations.
Idk if I'm turning into an avoidant personality type since now I'm truly comfortable with being alone, been reading scripture and want something wholesome although I don't believe you have to involve yourself with church since there's nothing really christian about modern churches (prosperity gospel, new age nonsense becoming more prevalent).
I think now I'm so self conscious of coming off as over pursing or needy that subconsciously I'm avoiding being a creep women end up feeling like I'm more of an older brother than someone they see as a sexual partner which is the other problem I'm having.
If a woman doesnt give me the 'fuck me' stare I just assume she's not interested in me that way but also is it the social norm now to have sex with a woman first before you get to know her? I mean I'm more comfortable with least going on a few dates first and seeing if our values line up or least having one or two shared interests before I can think about trying to have sex with her.
Anyone here who's somewhat socially conservative or religious having the same issue? I don't think it's a fear of rejection, I've been on dates that didn't work out and it wasn't a big deal but the idea that I have to sleep around with lot of women which I may not have a deep connection with makes me feel empty, I like having sex but only with someone who is attractive in other ways than physical, hope I'm making sense.

hello!! so i’m a first time pc builder and i’m planning on building my first pc in a couple of weeks after the rest of my parts come in.
the cooler i’m getting is NZXT’s kraken elite, and the case i have is NZXT’s H6 flow. however i realized that the fans on the cooler are the F120 core version, and even though i’ve been searching for hours to find the core version of the fans and not finding either of F120’s or F140’s (need both for the case) i’m a little stuck— so i was going to resort to a different fan type that matches the way the RGB looks of the NZXT core fans, but i’m worried the RGB will look off because the fans RGB will be adjusted through different softwares. i was thinking about buying either the Arctic P12’s or the corsair iCUE Link’s, i’m just not too sure how to go about the RGB situation.

The way I bought this game was so random, it was in a reels video I saw and I was like “it looks cool, should I buy it?” and the next day I bought it. Best decision I’ve made in a long time I guess. I’ve been having a tough time lately, dealing with many stuff in my life; loneliness, depression, anxiety, one of my friends has passed away -he used to love gaming so much- and I was having a hard time coping with all of these. However, ever since I started playing Stardew, I’m able to forget about my problems for a while and have fun and feel relaxed. I’m not joking, this game gave me the comfort nothing gives me in a while. I feel less alone somewhat and more productive than I was. I hope I didn’t sound very miserable lol, I really love Stardew and wanted to show my appreciation by sharing these random feelings I have. I’m beyond grateful to Eric for this game honestly. Also, this sub made me laugh so many times too so thank you guys as well! Sending lots of love and “stardrops” to everyone!💌🦋

I was recently diagnosed with IBS but I still have to get an endoscopy and colonoscopy to figure out if there's anything else happening. This is honestly the most frustrating thing because I have health anxiety and many of my gastro symptoms give me tremendous anxiety. Lately, I've been in a flare of something that has made eating very difficult. Every time I eat something I feel worn down and my muscles get really heavy. Sometimes my chest gets tight and it's a little hard to take a full breath. I get such crazy brain fog and fatigue that I have to sit down but sitting down for too long makes me dizzy if I move to get up. Sometimes I feel like I'm having an out of body experience and it's wild. I also get a lot of bloating and gas and I'm definitely constipated and having a hard time actually going lately, but I am still going so things are moving.
I tried looking up what causes fatigue and shakiness after eating and I keep seeing something akin to a blood sugar issues. My problem is that I have most of the symptoms described, but about 2 weeks ago I was in the ER and they ran blood tests and all that and they said I didn't have anything life threatening or even anything out of the ordinary. I was discharged with having a massive panic attack and that was basically it. So, I'm thinking that this is probably just really bad constipation and gas causing this symptoms and I've experienced them before, just not on this level. I'm hoping that's all it is, because I'm so out of it that I don't really know what to do when I start feeling this way.
As I type this I'm starting to sweat and I feel like I can't concentrate but I'm moving around and thinking. It's so weird and uncomfortable.
Any thoughts or advice or any similar experiences? I really gotta figure this out because I'm tired of running to the ER and them telling me that I'm fine. Thank you!

hello ! sorry for any mistakes. this is not revised and english is not my first language
i have lived in my home country for my entire life. i lived my childhood and adolescence with the same people group of people, sixteen years of building on the friendships that ive come to love with my entire heart.
during the first semester of my junior year, i moved to the other side of the world. it was a 14-hour flight, and in the days leading up to this change, i was excited. i was excited for a new life, new friends, and a new environment. i thought i would be able to adapt and change with no problems. and that was the case, for the first few months.
it was after 6th month mark that i started to feel the change. now its been more than a year and things have gotten way harder. i feel like ive lost my old personality. i feel like ive grown into a person that the me of two years ago wouldve been shocked at. im doing things i never thought i would do and im saying things that i wouldve never said. i dont recognize myself anymore. ive mixed my old personality with the new environment im in and now its weird mix of (a) i do the stuff i wouldve never done then (b) i regret it and fall into an identity crisis questioning of who i am turning into. its the same cycle of events.
and now i look at my friends instagram stories. theyve graduated while im stuck (im being held back to learn the countrys language). they show their pretty gowns and beautiful smiles while i watch from afar. ive spent 11 years with them, my closest friends, and i watch the most important part of their lives miles away. my heart aches. theyve built their own inside jokes, theyve done their little activities and trips and im not a part of it. theyre moving on and applying to universities, theyre talking to me less and less and i cant do anything about it but watch. the people that i saw everyday for 7 hours straight, the people i shared a personality with just fading away. i went from knowing crowds of people and always having someone to talk to or hangout with to someone with two friends that barely goes out. i went from someone who knew their way around the city and all of its inside jokes and news to someone that doesnt know the road to the supermarket. i remember the late night drives on the main road with the music blasting and the cool night breeze
i remember the late night drives on the main road windows down with the music blasting and the cool night breeze blowing. i remember looking at my friends during these rides, singing their heart out and their hair dancing with the wind. i remember the places we frequented so often, constantly complaining that we always did the same thing over and over. the days we were so tired we just sat in silence and the days we were so hyper we just did whatever we wanted. will i ever get the same feeling again? why does my heart ache for a place ive bad-mouthed constantly? why have i talked so much shit about my home country, saying i would never look back for even a second if i left and now my heart yearns for that exact place that ive hated? my heart yearns for the people i knew that it is unbearable to remember.
i dont know how to start over when ive lived my entire life building over the foundation i had.

Adam and D-Sides Boyfriend, or DS for short, were deep into a game of Super Mario Bros Wonder on the Nintendo Switch."Yeah, this game is pretty good!" Adam agreed, just as the doorbell rang. He paused the game and got up. "Hang on, I gotta see who's at the door." Boyfriend nodded, and Adam walked to the front door. Opening it, he found Owen and Oskar standing there. "I often forget you know where I live," Adam remarked. Oskar darted inside, eager to escape Owen’s company. "Hi," Owen said, following more slowly. Owen took one couch, and Oskar took another, each eyeing the other warily.

Adam broke the silence. "So, where are your girlfriends tonight?" "Busy," they both replied in unison. "Well, okay then," Adam said. "I’m playing Mario Wonder with Boyfriend. Want to join?"
"You have a boyfriend?" Oskar asked incredulously. "No, his name is Boyfriend," Adam clarified. "You’re joking," Owen said, skeptical. "Nope. Hey BF, come out here!" Adam called. DS stepped out and waved. "Beep!" "Huh, you’re right," Oskar admitted.

Just then, someone knocked on the side door. "Hold on," Adam said, heading over. He opened it to find Isaiah and Eleanor. "Hi, Adam!" Eleanor greeted cheerfully. "Hi, guys!" Adam responded. Isaiah walked in, stopping when he saw Owen and Oskar. "Oh...who are you guys?" Isaiah asked. "I’m Oskar," Oskar replied. "I’m Owen," Owen added. Eleanor followed Adam, who closed the door behind them. "So, since there are more people here than usual, any ideas on what to do tonight?" Adam asked. "Beep Bo Bap!" DS beeped. "Boys' Night Out?" Adam suggested. "Boys' Night Out?" Owen repeated, confused. "It’s basically when just the guys go out for the night and have fun!" Adam explained.

"So, basically anything?" Oskar asked. "Yeah, as long as it’s legal," Adam said. "Are you okay with it, Eleanor?" Isaiah asked. Eleanor smiled and nodded. "Yeah, don’t worry. I’ll be fine. Your sister is home, right, Adam?" "Yeah, but she was a bit snappy earlier. I wouldn’t bother her," Adam warned. "Where would we go, anyway?" Owen asked. "Beep bap!" DS suggested. "Yeah, we can go to Applebee's," Adam said. "I’m okay with that," Isaiah agreed. "Can we go to the casino afterward?" Owen asked. Everyone stared at him in confusion. "Dude, we’re all 12-14 except for BF," Adam said. "Oh right," Owen realized. "We can go to the arcade next," Isaiah suggested. "That works," Adam said. "What about after that?" Oskar asked. "We'll figure it out. Ready to go?" Adam asked. "Yeah, I’m ready," Isaiah said. Owen got up. "Let’s go." Adam, DS, and Oskar followed. "Bye, Eleanor! We'll be back in a bit!" Isaiah said. Eleanor waved as the boys left.
After a bit, they finally arrived at Applebee's. "Alright boys, welcome to Applebee's. You know what I love about this place? The culture. I usually have a burger, but sometimes I switch it up. First meal, you’re in Asia; next meal, you’re in Greece!" Adam said.

"Beep bap bo!" DS chimed in. "Exactly, I feel like I need a passport to eat here!" Adam laughed. "So what do you recommend?" Isaiah asked. "What do I recommend? Isaiah, this is Applebee's. I recommend all of it! Wait, you're from New York, right?" Adam asked. "Yeah. Why?" Isaiah asked. "Brooklyn or Queens?" Adam asked. "Manhattan," Isaiah said. "Did you not go to Applebee's before?" Adam asked. "No, not really," Isaiah said. "Well, that's fine. You’re gonna love it," Adam assured him.

After a bit, the waitress came over. Adam’s heart sank. It was Mary Lou Maloney, a familiar face to him but not to the others. "Hello, welcome to Applebee's. My name is Mary, and I'll be your server tonight," Mary Lou said.

"Beep!" DS said."Y-Yeah..." Adam stammered, clearly unsettled. Mary Lou focused on Adam. "How about we start with you, handsome?" she asked, getting close and rubbing his hair. "What would you like to drink?" "Uh, I would like a..." Adam began to say. "You want a lemonade, right?" Mary Lou suggested. "Y-Yeah, that works," Adam said, visibly uneasy. Oskar looked at Adam, puzzled by his behavior. "I’ll have water," Oskar said. "I’ll have a Pepsi," Isaiah added. "Beep bo bap!" DS said. "He said he’ll have a Coke," Adam translated. "I'll take a water too," Owen said.

Mary Lou smiled and walked away. Adam faced the ground, holding his head. "Adam, are you okay? You acted strange when the waitress came," Oskar observed. "No, no, I’m fine. Just a bit hungry, that’s all," Adam lied, unconvincingly. "Who was that? You acted like she was your mom. Oh my god, was that your mom?" Owen asked. "What? No, that's not my mom. Look at me," Adam said. "Beep bap bo, skidoo bap?" DS asked. "No, not my ex or girlfriend..." Adam said. "Then who is it?" Isaiah asked. "Well, she's... a friend of mine. Yeah, a friend. I forgot she worked here," Adam said.

Mary Lou returned with their drinks, still grinning. "I have your drinks, boys. Now, may I take your orders?" "Yeah, that would be nice," Isaiah said. Mary Lou turned towards Adam. "Hey!" she said. "...Yeah?" Adam replied. "You want a classic bacon burger, right? Well done, fries seasoned?" Mary Lou asked. Adam’s heart dropped. "Y-Yeah..." "I’ll have a chicken sandwich," Isaiah said. "How do you want that cooked?" Mary Lou asked. "Crispy," Isaiah replied. "I’m not hungry, thanks," Oskar said. "I’m not hungry either," Owen added. Owen and Oskar exchanged glances, both thinking, "What's your excuse?" "Beep bo bap do bop!" DS said. "Alright, I’ll be back in a bit!" Mary Lou said, leaving with a tune. "Not your girlfriend, eh?" DS teased. "Why are you speaking English now?" Isaiah asked.
Meanwhile, Eleanor knocked on Esther’s door, but there was no answer. "Hello?" Eleanor called, knocking again. "Go away, Adam, or I’ll stab you," Esther threatened from inside. "But... I’m not Adam," Eleanor said. Esther opened the door and looked up at Eleanor. "Who are you?" "My name is Eleanor. You’re Adam’s little sister, right?" Eleanor asked. Esther groaned and tried to close the door, but Eleanor held it open. "Hey, what are you—" Esther began to say, but Eleanor's grip was strong. The door cracked as Eleanor instinctively burst it open, then sprinted off. "What the fu—"

Back at Applebee's, Mary Lou brought the food over, still grinning. "Enjoy your food!" she said, passing it around before leaving. "Damn BF, those nachos look tasty," Adam said. BF nodded, taking a bite and giving a thumbs up. Owen and Oskar’s stomachs growled. "You sure you aren't hungry? It’s not too late to order something," Adam offered. "I'm fine," Oskar said. "Yeah, me too," Owen agreed.

After around 20 minutes of eating, the food was done. "Wow, that burger was delicious," Adam said. "Beep…." DS said. "Yeah, it was," Isaiah said. Mary Lou came back. "I hope you enjoyed your food, now who's paying?" Mary Lou asked. Everyone looked at each other. "Uh, can you give us a second?" Adam asked. She nodded and left.

"Alright, I'm fine with paying if I need to but are there any takers?" Adam asked.
"...This might work," Oskar said. He pulled out Swedish cash from his pocket. "...Oskar, that's Swedish currency. I don't think that's gonna work." Adam said. "Oh…" Oskar said. "Wait, Oskar, are you Swedish?" Isaiah asked. "Yeah, Eli too," Oskar said. "Huh, I mean I can kind of hear it in your voice," Adam said.

Mary Lou came back and leaned close behind Adam. "You know, if you can't pay, if you come in the back with me Handsome, I'll let you off free…." Mary Lou said. Adam turned red as everyone turned towards him, dazed, surprised, and confused. “Uh..Uh..” Adam begins to say, dazed and confused. “Think about it handsome. I'll be back in a bit..” Mary Lou said, kissing him on the cheek. She walked away, humming to herself. Everyone just stared at Adam. “Did…Did she just…?” Oskar began to say. “I think…?” Owen began to say. Isaiah just stared at the ground.
“Bro, I think the waitress just offered to let us go free if-” DS-Boyfriend began to say, but Adam cut him off. “Boyfriend for everyone's safety DON'T finish that sentence,” Adam said. “...Are…Are you going to say something about what just happened….?” Isaiah asked. “I would rather not…” Adam said. Everyone just stared at each other. “You know what? I'll pay. That way we can simply move on.” DS said. “Really?” Owen asked. “Dude, when a waitress offers to bang your best friend to get out of a restaurant without paying, that's when you know you gotta get the f**k out of dodge,” DS said. “Hey, nice reference,” Isaiah said. “Thanks,” replied. “How can you afford to pay?” Owen asked.

“My parents are CEOS of big companies, that's how,” DS-Boyfriend said.
“Hey Adam, can you get the waitress?” DS-Boyfriend asked. “...Why me?” Adam asked. DS-Boyfriend gave a sh*t-eating grin. “Oh you gotta be kidding me,” Adam said agitated. “Hey, don’t look at me, she’s the one into you,” DS said. Adam rolled his eyes and got up, but when he turned around, he bumped into Mary Lou, who was walking back to the table. “Oh hey! Taking my offer?” Mary Lou asked. Before anything could happen DS stepped in. “Actually he was going to get you so we can get the hell outta here,” DS said. Mary Lou looked down before nodding her head. “Alright, we can have some fun another time then.” Mary Lou suggested. Adam turned red again as DS got up from his seat and handed Adam the Money. “Here you go,” Adam said. Mary took it and smiled. “Alright, you can go! Have fun boys!” Mary Lou said with a creepy smile. The others got up from their chairs and quickly left through the door. But before Adam could Leave, Mary Lou grabbed his arm. “...This was nice. Can we do this again sometime?” She asked. Adam shrugged. “I guess so,” Adam said. Mary Lou smiled. She took off Adam’s hat and rubbed his hair. “... It's a date then, see you later…alligator.” Mary Lou said. “YO ADAM, WHAT’S THE HOLD-UP, COME ON!” DS yelled. Adam turned and left through the door.

Eleanor was sitting outside on the steps in the backyard, thinking to herself about what transpired. She didn’t know what came over herself, she didn’t even mean to get so aggressive. She was about to just get up and go take a walk down the road when she noticed a toy Rabbit sitting near the gate. It wasn’t there before. It was grey, and one of its eyelids was drooped down. It had a red vest and a blue bowtie and its eyes were purple. “Where did you come from?” Eleanor asked. The toy roared to life. “R-R-R-Ready to Rocket!” the toy belted. Eleanor gasped out of surprise and dropped the toy, causing it to stutter on one line. “Bon is here- Bon is here- Bon is here- Bon is here- Bon is-” But then the rabbit stopped, its eye slowly turning to look at something in front of it. “H-H-Hi Bon!” Eleanor looked up and saw him. A large 7 ft rabbit animatronic stood in front of the gate, but he looked…damaged. The rabbit had a white latex mask, with a cigar in his mouth and its eyes glowed a bit white as it stood there.He wore a red bowtie connected to a dickie. The torso had a large hole in it, and it was…slightly lined with blood. His vest was tattered and damaged. It had a bunch of holes in it. He had a name tag on his vest “HELLO! MY NAME IS BON.” But it was slightly ripped. His lower arms were exposed with an endoskeleton, but the fingers looked like claws. His lower legs were exposed with an endoskeleton as well. Bon wasn’t looking at her at first before his eyes slowly tilted towards her. The rabbit slowly moved its head, a creaking sound coming from it. The mouth opened, and at first, nothing came out, but then it spoke. “M-My. Name. Is. BON.” The rabbit went to walk towards Eleanor when Esther opened the side door. “Hey. Knew I’d find you out here.” Esther mentioned. Eleanor looked back, but Bon was gone. It was as if..it were an illusion. She looked down and the toy rabbit was gone as well. “Oh, hey,” Eleanor said, trying to sound as normal as she could, albeit possibly hallucinating. Esther sat next to her. “Listen, I don’t know what that was back there, but I’m not going to lie, it was kind of cool,” Esther admitted. Eleanor smiled. “My name is Eleanor, what’s yours?” Eleanor asked. “Esther,” Esther replied. It seemed like she would continue the sentence, but she left it hanging. Eleanor smiled before she asked something, following up on something she heard earlier. “...Hey, can I ask you something?” Eleanor asked. Esther nodded. “...Why do you hate your brother?” Eleanor asked. Esther frowned a bit. “It’s…not that hate him. I’ve been in other homes before this one and most of the time my brothers were…assholes.” Esther explained. “And…is Adam one?” Eleanor asked. Esther sighed. “No...Not really, he’s been nothing but nice but..I just don’t believe it. Like how could someone just be so nice? I haven’t even seen him snap in anger yet. I know it's bound to happen eventually but still.” Esther admitted. Eleanor shrugged. “Guess I understand,” Eleanor whispered. Esther got up. “Well, it was nice meeting you, I’m going to go back into my room ok?” Esther asked. Eleanor gave a thumbs-up as Esther left.

“Right so, where is the arcade?” Oskar asked. DS looked at his phone. “Uh, somewhere around…Here!” DS shouted, pointing at a building. The Building was red, with white glowing neon lights. The arcade was called “THE NEON ARCADE!” “Dude this place looks awesome,” Adam stated. “Where did you find this place?” Owen asked. “I came here with my girlfriend once, gots a sick amount of arcade machines,” DS stated. “Well what are we waiting for, Let's go have some fun!” Isaiah shouted.

The gentlemen walked into the arcade, it was literally what you expected, mostly just an arcade, but there was a play zone, food court, and…a bowling rink! Yeah, that should be about it. “Dude this looks straight out of the 80s!” Oskar shouted. “How would you know? It’s not like you were FROM the 80s!” Adam replied jokingly. Oskar just stared at him, his face serious. “...Calm down! It was a joke!” Adam said, putting his hands up. Oskar made a sigh of relief. “Good, I thought I’d need to kill ya,” Oskar said, joking back. Owen stared at Oskar, his eyes wide with fear. Oskar looked at Owen, seeing the fear in his eyes. “...What?” Oskar asked. Owen didn’t respond, as if remembering…bad times. “Owen…Owen!” Adam shouted. Owen snapped out of his trance. “Oh, sorry...Just thinking of something.” Owen admitted. “Your girlfriend?” DS chuckled. "Something like that," Owen muttered, wanting to change the subject. Adam glanced at him, concerned but deciding to let it go."Alright, let's split up and see who can get the highest score on any game!" Adam suggested, trying to lighten the mood. "Winner gets bragging rights for the rest of the night." DS chuckled. “Bet I can get the highest score,” DS spoke cockily. “You sure about that?” Owen asked. DS looked up at Owen Smugly. “Wanna bet?” DS asked. “No, I just don’t wanna see you lose it.” Owen replied. “BET.” DS stated.

The boys went to different games as the hunt was On. Adam saw this cool game called “Death by AI”, while Oskar played a game called “Ring Out”, while DS and Isaiah played Air Hockey. Owen on the other hand, didn’t exactly know what he should play. Sure, there was Miss Pacman, but he didn’t feel like playing that without Abby. That’s when he noticed a game just..sitting there in the corner. It was an arcade game from King of the Jungle Cafe. But that closed a long time ago. How did it make its way here? The game was called “ZOO ESCAPE”. It was about King Louie and his animal friends being sent to a zoo and they needed to escape. Owen looked around. No one was watching him. Why not give the old game a go? Owen walked over and placed a token in. The game rocketed to life, the familiar jingle playing out. It put a smile on his face. And so, he began to play. Despite how old the game was, it was still fun to play. He was playing for a while when he sensed someone was watching him. He at first thought it was Adam, but he realized it wasn’t. It felt off. He paused the game and saw someone leaning against the arcade machine. It was a boy. He was wearing a black teeshirt with white stripes. It had the earth on it. He had a purple and blue bracelet on one of his arms. He wore tan pants with white shoes. His brown hair went slightly over his eyes. From his face, Owen could tell he had braces and freckles. “Enjoying the game, huh?” The boy asked. Owen nodded. “Yeah, it's fun, I used to play this all the time,” Owen admitted. The boy chuckled. “I used to love playing this thing.” The boy agreed. “..I’m Owen, what's your name?” Owen asked. “Ronny, nice to meet you. ..Though, I swear we met before.” Ronny pondered. “What do you mean?” Owen asked, tilting his head. Ronny shrugged. “Nevermind, it's nothing,” Ronny said. Owen wa about to respond when he heard Adam shouting from the other end of the room. “OWEN, WE’RE ABOUT TO HEAD OUT, YOU READY TO GO?” Adam cried. “Yeah, Coming!” Owen shouted back. Owen looked back, but Ronny was gone. He looked around, but couldn’t see any trace of him.

Adam and the others gathered near the entrance, their faces glowing with excitement from the night's activities. "So, who got the highest score?" Isaiah asked, smirking as he pointed at the air hockey table, where he had just narrowly defeated DS. “AI had nothing on me,” Adam replied. Oskar chuckled, shaking his head. "Ring Out was a blast. I reached level 15, but I think you might've beaten me, Adam." "Did anyone check the scores for Owen?" Isaiah asked, looking around.
Owen shrugged, a small smile on his face. "I was just playing an old favorite, 'Zoo Escape'. Didn't check my score." "Old games for old souls," DS joked, giving Owen a friendly nudge. Owen glared at him but shook it off. "Alright, boys, let's tally up and declare a winner."

The group walked to the main score screen near the entrance. After some friendly banter and a quick check, Adam emerged as the victor with his impressive score on "Death by AI". "Bragging rights secured," Adam announced, striking a triumphant pose. "Now, what's next on the agenda?" DS pulled out his phone to check the time. "It's getting late. Maybe we should start heading back." Adam yawned. “Yeah, I agree, come on gentlemen,” Adam commanded.

The group began their walk back to Adam's house. The air was cool and refreshing, a welcome change from the bustling, neon-lit arcade.
"So, what was up with that waitress at Applebee's?" Isaiah asked, breaking the silence. "She seemed...intense." Adam stopped walking and rubbed the back of his neck, clearly still embarrassed. "Yeah, Mary Lou's...interesting. I guess she likes to mess with me." "Mess with you? Dude, she was all over you," Oskar pointed out, raising an eyebrow. "You sure there's nothing more to that story?" Adam sighed. “Look, I don’t really know, I guess she’s just…like that. I have no idea what’s going on in her head. I guess she just has a unique way of interacting with people she likes.” Adam suggested. Owen looked around. “My house is nearby here, I’m gonna head out,” Owen said. “Right, see ya man.” DS waved. Owen waved goodbye as he separated from the group. “Actually, looking around now, I think my place is around here too. I’ll see you guys later ok?” Oskar said. “Alright, see you later man,” Isaiah replied. Oskar walked away, now it was just DS, Isaiah, and Adam here. “You know what? This was fun.” DS Remarked. “Yeah, it was,” Adam responded, a bit tired. “Just a question, why did you start speaking English out of nowhere?” Isaiah asked. “...Eh, I just felt like it.”

It took them a bit, but the trio got back to Adam’s house. “Welp, that was fun boys but I’m gonna head home, see yall later!” DS shouted. Adam waved goodbye as DS walked away. “Don’t know about you, but I’m tired,” Adam said. “Same, goodnight Adam!” Isaiah replied. Adam waved as they walked into the house, Adam walked into his room, as Isaiah walked downstairs.

Isaiah got back into the apartment downstairs and closed the door behind him. He breathed a sigh of relief. Unsure why he did that. “Isaiah.” A voice called “S**t!” Isaiah yelled out of fear. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” The voice responded. Isaiah focused his eyes and noticed two eyes staring at him from the darkness, but he recognized the voice. “It's ok Mom,” Isaiah replied. “Where did you go?” Naiomi asked. “I went with Adam and some of his friends on a boy's night out. Where’s Eleanor?” Isaiah asked. “In her room waiting for you,” Naiomi responded. “Thanks,” Isaiah replied. He was about to walk into the room when his mother stopped him. “...That Adam…is he any good?” Naiomi asked. “What do you mean?” Isaiah asked. “Is he treating you right?” Naiomi asked. “Yeah, if anything he’s like a brother,” Isaiah stated. Naiomi stared before nodding. “Alright, good. Goodnight Isaiah.” Naiomi said, with a deadpan voice. “Good Night Mom,” Isaiah responded. He entered the room as Naiomi looked at the door upstairs. But she decided against going up there, she’d need an invitation after all.

I’m going to shoot a shot here and see if Reddit can help me in any way, I’ve just started figuring it out since I always just used it when a search brought me to a Reddit site. I live with my boyfriend, I have for almost 2 years and we both pay rent and have never been late on rent before. We also live with my boyfriend’s dad. His dad hates me. I’m not sure why, we’ve never really talked and I’ve cleaned his whole house, his disgusting fish tanks, etc etc. his father has decided to use his bond with the landlord to his advantage and get me evicted. I’m not sure if there’s anything I can do in this situation. I have a cat and bearded dragon and really cannot be homeless again and housing is so expensive. I know I could draw out the eviction and potentially take it to court and most likely win. Im not entirely sure what to do to make that happen. I’ve thought about this whole situation and after some thinking I want to get a restraining order on his father, due to past drama between his father and I because of him being an alcoholic and making him have no contact with me either before or after I end up moving out because of this situation; I really can’t have an eviction on my rental history because this is my first rental. I’m really really stuck right now. I’m sorry if this doesn’t make sense. I’m rushed while typing this I will respond to any questions of course

It's been 2 weeks in my REU program and I realized I'm not interested in this research, or in the field at all. Grad school sounds like pure hell, if I survive until next year I will try to take some courses in Creative Writing or some shit instead. I haven't received any direct payment yet, but after I accepted the offer, the universoty already bought me domestic flights to and from the REU with funds from the REU travelling stipend. Also, because I'm an international student, I had to get this REU registered as a 0.5 credit summer course at the university I learn at, but I haven't paid for that course yet. Can I quit now? How much money would I stilll owe if I quit?
Context so I earn your sympathy: Ever since I realized I was gay at 13, I knew I had no future in my home country so I studied really hard so I could afford a scholarship to America. This is why I had a good application that got accepted to an REU, but I'm way too tired and depressed to keep working on it. I wasted my entire life, I don't want to waste this summer too. Also two of my grandparents and my dog died while I was abroad, my laptop broke so I lost everything I've written, I could go on. Ist es over für mich

Life was perfectly normal and mundane until the day I inherited the Magic 8 Ball from a distant relative who had recently passed away. At first, it seemed like a quirky keepsake, a relic of childhood nostalgia. But as I held it in my hands one overcast evening, an unsettling feeling crept over me. There was something off about it, a strange, almost ominous vibe that seemed to emanate from its old, worn surface. I glanced at my wife, blissfully unaware, sitting across the room. Our love had always felt like a sanctuary, yet now, this seemingly innocuous toy had introduced an inexplicable sense of dread into our home. It just felt off, like something not meant to induce tension into the air but certainly did at the time. I never mentioned it to Anna since the evening was beautiful, and the mood was full of anticipation for the upcoming playoff game. We were looking forward to some good old hockey. As a joke, I asked the Magic 8 Ball if our home team was going to win the game, chuckling at the childish stupidity that brought back fond memories of my youth.
“Cannot say now,” the 8 Ball in my calloused hand read a few seconds later.
I wasn't surprised by the answer, knowing it was just a toy with a limited set of responses. Maybe I'd ask it again during the first intermission, I thought to myself. As the puck dropped, the game started with a few penalties and a goal against us just before the initial 20 minutes of the period ended. I had almost forgotten about the toy relic that had been passed down to me recently. As the first intermission progressed, I picked up the 8 Ball again and asked if our team would win against the opposing team.
“Certainly, it will be legendary,” I read after a short pause.
Initially, I thought it was an odd answer, but what did I know? It was probably made in the '60s when people were a bit more open-minded to quirky responses. I smiled at Anna and showed her the response. She found it funny, and her laugh, as always, became the highlight of the moment. Her laughter has always been the center point of my love and affection for her, making her the undeniable lead honcho in any group she’s a part of. During the 2nd and 3rd periods, we witnessed our home team not only tie the game but score an additional 4 goals in rapid succession against the opposing team. It was not only legendary as the 8 Ball predicted, but it also sent the stadium into a roaring frenzy. Later, it was said that the noise level matched that of an Airbus A-220.
"It seems the Magic 8 Ball helped me win my $20 bet on our home team," I said confidently to my wife. "Probably just by chance, but who knows? I could use it to predict Friday's lottery numbers."
She smiled and told me to give it a shot, but I knew it was futile. Just like trying not to wake Anna up while leaving for work, it always ended with her sensing the creaking floorboards. About a few days had passed before we ended up having a heated argument about the dreaded topic of having kids in the future, I of course never want the sobbing, snot wheezing kids that take up 150% of your future time and life that could be used for retirement time in Hawaii. But, of course, she had bipolar opposite views on the topic. She wanted kids, perhaps to sow our six-year marriage back together. I, on the other hand, was dead set against it, feeling as if she were trying to force feed me a hefty dose of the plague. At the time, I had just stormed out of the room to cool off and muttered something I still regret to this day.
“Damn it, when will Anna's obsession with having kids ever end?” I grumbled to myself in frustration.
Suddenly, the 8 ball I’d left in the den flashed with a bright white light, like a screen turning on. Just as quickly, the flash disappeared, replaced by a simple message on its black surface.
“Soon enough, Derrick,” the ball read, almost mockingly.
My focus shifted from Anna's relentless talk about kids to the unnerving fact that the 8 ball not only knew my name but also had an answer for such a ridiculous question. I hadn’t even touched the thing—don’t you need to shake it for it to work? At this point, I was tempted to toss that relic into the trash and be done with it, but being a bit stubborn, I decided to let the demonic thing be and left it to its own devices. A few days had passed, and Anna and I had made up after our brief argument on that chilly Tuesday afternoon when I got home from work. She promised to hold off on bringing it up again for a while and to let me consider our options going forward. Life has been running smoothly again, and our home hockey team won their semi-finals match today, heading to the finals. Anna and I are caught up in the excitement of tomorrow night's game and are pretty pleased with how this year has gone, especially with our 7th anniversary just around the corner!
Work has been dragging lately, and I find myself just wanting to fast-forward to the day I wake up next to Anna and kiss her passionately on our long-awaited 7th anniversary, which is now just a few days away. As for the 8 ball of unknown origin, it's still just sitting dormant in the den. To be honest, I'm quite surprised it hasn't detonated or flashbanged me again whenever I step in there to grab some work files on clients. But no, it just sits there menacingly, waiting to tell me something I don't want to hear.
Anna and I had planned a special outing for our 7th anniversary. We decided to visit our favorite local donut shop around noon. As we prepared to leave, I grabbed the old magic 8 ball, intending to throw it away on the way there.
As we approached the intersection on 136th street, the light was red. With a playful smile, I asked the 8 ball one last question.
"Will the light turn green soon?" I asked, grinning at my overjoyed wife.
"Unfortunately, yes," the 8 ball replied.
I showed Anna the response, and she chuckled, thinking the toy wanted us to be stuck at the red light. When the light turned green, we started to cross the intersection. Suddenly, Anna gasped and clutched her chest. I managed to swerve to the side of the road just in time to avoid an oncoming car. I pulled over, my heart pounding, and turned to her in panic.
"Anna, what's wrong?" I asked, fear gripping me.
"I don't know," she whispered, her face pale and sweaty. "I just feel... so weak."
I rushed her to the hospital, where doctors ran a series of tests. After what felt like an eternity, they diagnosed her with a rare and severe illness. The news hit me like a ton of bricks, and I felt the world spinning around me. For the next few weeks, Anna's condition worsened. I spent every moment by her side, watching helplessly as she battled the illness. The magic 8 ball sat untouched in the den, its last message haunting me.
"Unfortunately, yes," it had said.
Despite the grim prognosis, Anna showed remarkable strength. We took things one day at a time, finding solace in each other's company. Our 7th anniversary passed quietly in the hospital, but it was a day filled with love and hope rather than despair. As the weeks turned into months, Anna's condition slowly stabilized. The doctors were cautiously optimistic, and we began to see a glimmer of hope. The scare made us appreciate every moment together, cherishing the small victories and holding onto hope.
One day, I decided to confront the magic 8 ball. I picked it up and asked, "Will Anna get better?"
The answer floated to the surface: "Signs point to yes."
I showed Anna the response, and she smiled weakly. "Maybe it's not so cursed after all," she said. We placed the 8 ball back on the shelf, not as a relic of doom, but as a symbol of hope and resilience. Our journey wasn't over, but we faced it together, stronger than ever.

Today was a really special day for me, i have been battling many health issues but I finally went for my final doctors appointment today and was declared healthy. I told my girl the news over text and she hasnt responded since. It was 12 hours ago. I tried calling her 1 hour ago at 8pm my country’s time but she didn’t answer. I understand she may be busy but she never communicated this if its the case, its not a big deal but i am pretty bummed that she wasn’t available to celebrate the good news with me. What should i do?
[UPDATE] this is how she responded at 1am. “””””Hi [Name] , I’m really sorry I wasn’t available today. I’ve been in the pits, that’s why I didn’t answer nor return your calls. I didn’t mean to give off the impression of me ignoring you or anything, sorry if it came off that way. And I understand that yesterday was an important day for you and I wasn’t there to share your happiness. I’m sorry I couldn’t show up for you I was just having a difficult time living Goodnight”””””””””