I (39f) sent my mother (Rita) a FB message telling her I needed to go No Contact for a month with very little detail.
The dynamic with Rita went awry several years ago after dealing with her opioid addiction, the roles kind of reversed and I felt more like the parent.
Rita got clean shortly after dating an old co-worker (while still married); after separating from her husband, she told me that she couldn't afford an apartment; I offered to move with her, to split the rent and even bought her a bed, living room furniture and a kitchenette. I had high hopes we'd start getting along more.
Rita insisted I meet her new guy (Clint) again, but this time as an adult. Let me preface this by saying, 10 year old me was in the right to "accidentally" spit chocolate milk at this guys face while he told me a joke.
He was creepy and tried too hard then and still does now.
I visited her new at Clint's place and while there he would (jokingly) make comments about wanting to see me in a bikini or me seeing him in a speedo. He would tell me he loves me 10-20 times within 5 minutes and joke about leaving Rita for me when she was within ear shot; she never said anything to him about these.
During quick polite goodbye hugs he would hold it for too long and try to kiss my neck, I continuously pulled my shoulders up to cover my neck and try to get away but he'd kiss my neck or ear. I told both of them numerous times I was not comfortable with it and after 4 visits and numerous complaints to my mom, it finally stopped but he labelled me as an ice queen.
Rita was making my nephew a birthday dinner and Clint came over to our house. He slapped my ass and cupped his hand before removing it; my nephew was outraged (so was I) and Rita laughed when she heard about it.
Before I moved back to my home town, I went to visit my mom and Clint with my dog, Buddy. Clint's son (Wes) was over and I felt safe coming back over for dinner because his son is a good guy; big mistake.
While I was sitting there listening to music with Rita and Wes, Clint comes back into the living room and sits on my lap and starts 'wiggling' around inappropriately- I told him to stop but he keeps doing it, I demand he stops and try to shove him off of me and he laughed; but he wasn't the only one laughing, Rita was too. I stared at her for 3 seconds and she dragged him off of me. I stood up, he sat down and I rudely said "you're lucky I didn't kick you in the balls, I should have", his response was "oh really?!" then I replied that I should have and his response is that he was only joking around and how I need to take a joke. I had told him numerous times to stop and he flat out refused to and only wiggled more. Rita reached for his hand, still laughing and said how "silly' he was and how that's one thing she likes about him. I sat closer to Wes and was going to stay until I hear him address Buddy (my dog) and say "Hey Buddy, tell your mommy she needs to grow a sense of humor"; with that, I grabbed Buddy's leash, my purse and started to leave when he shouts out "Did I OFFEND you?!", I screamed back at him and slammed the door behind us.
I've told Rita that I don't feel comfortable with him around, especially while he's drinking; she tried to assure me that he'd never do anything to me but said she'd talk to him. I moved to another town and made it abundantly clear that I do not want anything to do with him. I will be civil for her benefit but he gives me the creeps and is incredibly inappropriate with everyone - his daughter has lost friends because of his actions before.
Rita came down a couple weeks ago and took Clint to her friends place then we went out for mother's day; she asked if I would mind if she picked him up to cut time off her trip home - I understood and said sure. TLDR, he forced his way into my new home after I said I was not inviting them both inside and she was informed that he is NOT welcome here.
Rita recently went to a friends, had a few drinks and drove home, I was incredibly worried and told her so, to which she responded aggressively saying that she isn't stupid.
She sent numerous aggressive voice messages on Facebook, I decided to stop responding then Clint texted me, strongly suggested that I reach out to her because she's upset. I responded by saying 'Friends don't let friends drink and drive' and ignored him too. His unread response was that "she only had 2, if she drank more, trust me, I would have cabbed it." The math wasn't mathing, she said that they stayed there for 3 hours; I had called 2 hours after they got home and she was smashed, she definitely had more than what they let on and I do not trust him or his judgement because he lost his license because of a DUI. The morning I went No Contact she sent me messages assuring me that she was fine and that she wouldn't drink and drive; I refrained from responding.
Three days of no contact , I call her and we are civilized but both on edge, our conversation was very brief but I wanted to reach out - she is my mother after all and I would ideally like to have a relationship with her.
I messaged Rita and told her I need to go No Contact for 30 days to work things out professionally and mentally. She facetimed me 3 times, called twice, messaged me on FB and left voice messages on both my answering machine and Facebook. Comments ranging from "No contact from me or everyone?", "I'm really worried about you" and "please call me back". I responded and said "This is not about you, this is about me, please respect my wishes".
Am I the asshole for not telling her exactly why, being upset that she's going to my inner circle to try and find out what's going on and not being able to let go of her past and current short comings?
I'm on a waitlist for a therapist because I would like to build a better relationship with her and let the resentment go. I don't expect her to change but I need resources and need to learn how to set effective boundaries to act as stepping stones for future healthier conversations and interactions and hope that this break will help release the tension.

TLDR enclosed for each section directly under their respective subheading in bolded font

1. CONTENTS

Having originally posted this on NamiMains, I have come forth with a rune page that has been rising in popularity on enchanters: First Strike. Not only is this applicable on Nami, but on a lot of other enchanters who have decent range
The following guide has been split into these sections: - 1. CONTENTS - 2. Credentials - 3. So how/why does it work? - 4. ITEMS - 5. RUNES - 6. Core Mechanics of Nami W - 7. Final Words
Due to the length and detail of this guide, I can understand if some fishies don't wish to read everything. In which case, I have included TLDRs in this post. For ease of access, here is the formatting guideline for the TLDRs of this post:
The following guide has been split into sections for easier navigation, if u are in a hurry for a specific section, scroll down to find the specific subheading that u need. Each explanation is also lengthy, but if u want a brief TLDR of each section, it will be enclosed for each section directly under their respective subheading in bolded font

2. Credentials

I know that some people really care about credentials, so I am leaving this here. Feel free to skip this section and jump straight into the content if it does not concern u
I am a Master tier enchanter main with over 2.8mil points on Nami. I am by no means a perfect player, I still make mistakes and have plenty of areas to improve on
So, please note that the following information serves as a recommendation and general guideline. It was compiled based off of my own personal experience. Said information is not concrete, nor is it a law that you must follow. You are entitled to your own preferences, playstyles, and opinions, which may differ from mine. My only intent here is to share information that some players may find helpful

3. So how/why does it work?

TLDR (for this section): - Take First Strike vs matchups you outrange - Nami E on allies procs First Strike - The new Jack of All Trades rune should be utilised (see below for how)
Before I get into the specific build, I first need to explain how and why this whole setup works. First Strike is mostly taken as a gold-accelerating rune vs matchups that u outrange, ensuring that u get the "first strike" onto enemies consistently. With the changes to First Strike giving more base gold on the initial hit and less gold on subsequent hits compared to before, it pairs really well with a lot of enchanters' poke patterns. Usually, we have one poke spell and not much followup. The current First Strike matches this poke pattern perfectly (think Nami W, Sona E, Seraphine passive-empowered autos etc), allowing us to get an extra 15g per proc on top of our support item gold
On Nami specifically, we have an additional way to proc First Strike, since Nami E on allies actually procs First Strike! The best part of this interaction is that ur ally can be hit by enemies with ur E buff, but bc it wasn't you being hit directly, u will still retain the First Strike bonuses if ur ally hits enemies back with ur E buff despite being hit first! A common issue raised with this point is "what if my ADC is bad and doesn't use my E buff?" Don't worry, I got u covered too! So, whenever u empower an auto or ability that is still travelling middair towards the enemy, if u E urself or ur ally during said auto/ability, the slow and bonus dmg from E will still apply on impact. So, if u notice that ur ADC has cast an auto or ability onto the enemy, try to E them while this auto/ability is still travelling towards the enemy. Not only will this maximise E duration, give enemies minimal time to react to the slow and extra dmg, but it will also ensure that u proc First Strike due to E buff, as well as Manaflow Band and other item effects
This also works on ur own autos and abilities, and chaining abilities tgt like this will also help to cancel Nami's lengthy spell animation for more efficient trade patterns, hence better First Strike usage. Since W is our most consistent poke ability, we ideally want to start with this ability when trying to proc First Strike. This differs slightly from the regular Aery setup where we want to auto -> E ourself while our auto is still middair travelling towards enemy -> W enemy -> bubble/ult or let the bounceback heal retaliate enemy dmg. Instead, we want to W -> E ourselves while W is still middair travelling towards the enemy -> auto -> disengage with bounceback heal or bubble/ult
I'm able to come out of lane with 300-400 gold fairly consistently. Pair this with free boots or Cash Back, and u can essentially double this amount of gold. Since enchanters tend to be quite item-reliant, having this extra gold generation allows us to reach our item spikes a lot faster, further increasing the snowball potential

3.1. Jack of All Trades

Supports are actually able to utilise the new Jack of All Trades rune surprisingly well. Our support item alone already covers 3 of the 10 stats required. Here are the list of stats that we will generally be able to obtain on supports: - AP - HP - Health Regen - Mana Regen - Haste - Movespeed - %Movespeed - Heal/Shield Power - Armor - Magic Resist - Mana (?) - Magic Pen (?)
In order to get these stats, we will need our support item which gives HP, health regen, and mana regen. Most items will cover the haste component. Boots for the movespeed stat. Ardent will give us the %movespeed as well as heal/shield power. But if we don't need Ardent, then we can split this into any other heal/shield power item + Shurelya's. Armor + magic resist can be optained from Locket or Wardstone. Alternatively, if we don't need armor + magic resist, we can instead trade these stats for magic pen + mana instead (will also explain this in further detail below)
As you can see, the items required for Jack are situational items. It is important to identify during champ select if said items, particularly Ardent/Shurelya's + Locket/Wardstone, will be built for this game. Altho, these items will be applicable in most situations anyway
If u don't need these items for that particular game, or if u don't feel like u'll be able to reach all these stats for whatever reason, then Cosmic Insight is always a great staple. Lower summ cds for lower Flash and Heal cds, notoriously long-cd spells, as well as item haste. Item haste works on non-active item cds such as Dream MakeCelestial/Solstice/Zaz'Zak's cds, Mandate mark cds, as well as lowering trinket cd etc.

4. ITEMS

TLDR (for this section): - Skip paragraphs to see builds under their respective subheadings (4.1. Defensive Build and 4.2. AP Build) below - Each individual dot point reperesents one individual item slot
Alright, now that all the theory work is out of the way, we can finally move onto the specific build (what everyone is here for). There are two main builds to go about this. Each individual dot point reperesents one individual item slot:

4.1. Defensive Build

• Support Item (upgrade does not matter, as long as u have the base support item)
• Mandate
• Lucidity boots
• Shurelya's + SoFW/Mikael's/Redemption/Dawncore OR Ardent + Helia/Mejai's/Morello/situational (buy Dark Seal on first recall if u plan on getting Ardent)
• Locket/Wardstone

This build is run in situations where u need the defensive stats from Locket or Wardstone vs harder comps or matchups, with Locket being particularly good vs AoE and/or burst dmg. This build will also cover all the stats from Jack of All Trades (see list from previous section)
Ardent is the most efficient item for Jack due to it providing mana regen, heal/shield power, and %movespeed, all in one item. This will free up an extra item slot where we can buy a situational item, like antiheal, or if it's not needed then Dark Seal into Mejai's is always a great alternative for cheap AP (Nami has good AP ratios), or any other alternative item that u may need
However, it may not always be an Ardent game. In situations where it isn't an Ardent game (non-autoattack-reliant comps), u will need to split the %movespeed and heal/shield power stats into 2 separate items. Typically, Shurelya's + any other Forbidden Idol item will cover this. You can also go for any other item that gives %movespeed, but I find Shurelya's the most consistent. The main downside is ofc, the build being quite rigid if u go for this option (no room for antiheal or other situational items)
Also smth handy to note regarding Helia, the dmg portion of Helia does indeed proc First Strike!

4.2. AP Build

• Support Item (upgrade does not matter, as long as u have the base support item)
• Mandate
• Sorc Shoes
• Archangel's (buy Tear on first recall preferrably, or second recall latest)
• Shurelya's + SoFW/Mikael's/Redemption/Dawncore OR Ardent + Mejai's/Morello/Horizon Focus/Cryptbloom/situational (buy Dark Seal on first recall if u plan on getting Ardent)

This is a more AP-focused build in situations where u don't need to be so defensive. We omitted the armor and magic resist from Locket/Wardstone for mana (Archangel's) and magic pen (Sorc Shoes). Nami E on allies uses her own magic pen, hence Sorc Shoes here

5. RUNES

TLDR:

• Inspiration: First Strike, Magical FootweaCash Back, Biscuits, Jack of All Trades/Cosmic Insight
• Sorcery: Manaflow + Transcendence/Absolute Focus/Celerity/Scorch/Gathering Storm OR Transcendence/Absolute Focus + Gathering Storm
• Double Adaptive + Scaling HP OR 8AH + 2%MS + Scaling HP

The more specifics to optimise ur runes to their respective builds:

5.1. Runes for Defensive Build

• Inspiration: First Strike, Cash Back, Biscuits, Jack of All Trades/Cosmic Insight
• Sorcery: Manaflow + Transcendence/Absolute Focus/Celerity/Scorch/Gathering Storm
• Double Adaptive + Scaling HP OR 8AH + 2%MS + Scaling HP

Omitted free boots for Cash Back. Since this is for the defensive build, we will need to rush Lucidity boots vs hard matchups. Not only are Lucidity boots a cheaper option so it gives a faster spike in movespeed vs skillshot-heavy lanes, the lower Flash cd will be good vs engage lanes. Jack vs Cosmic has been explained in previous sections
Manaflow + Transcendence is default. For in-depth explanation:
Manaflow is essential for defensive build. Only go Absolute Focus in situations where enemies lack poke, allowing u to maintain the HP threshold for the AP. Transcendence is a good default, when unsure u can always default to this due to Nami's long cds. Pair both these with double adaptive minor shards option. Celerity if u need the movespeed vs heavy-skillshot comps (pair this with the 2% movespeed minor shard option)
I personally don't recommend Scorch with the First Strike setup due to the scaling nature of this build. However, Scorch is typically good with early-game ADCs or matchups where u have early pressure. Scorch also barely adds any bonuses to First Strike, especially as the game progresses. Avoid Scorch if enemies have sustain, as they can easily outheal or outshield that bit of Scorch dmg. When unsure, or in any other situation, go Gathering Storm

5.2. Runes for AP Build

• Inspiration: First Strike, Magical Footwear, Biscuits, Jack of All Trades/Cosmic Insight
• Sorcery: Transcendence/Absolute Focus + Gathering Storm
• Double Adaptive + Scaling HP

Due to the more expensive nature and higher scaling potential of this build, go free boots so that u can focus on rushing items. Since we go Archangel's with this build, we won't need Manaflow. For maximum scaling, I recommend Absolute Focus + Gathering Storm (also the greediest option). Otherwise, Transcendence as explained prior

6. Core Mechanics of Nami W

TLDR (for this section): - More than 100AP -> subsequent bounces heal/dmg MORE - Less than 100AP -> subsequent bounces heal/dmg LESS - W has slightly longer range when self-cast
Smth absolutely crucial to these First Strike builds, as well as any other AP Nami builds, is understanding her W bounce mechanic. I often get asked why AP Nami, so I will just include this section here as well. For the fellow fishies who already about this, please feel free to skip this section
The reason why AP Nami is a thing is bc of the way her W scaling works to begin with. We unironically heal more with AP builds than enchanter builds. Allow me to explain:
Patch 14.6: 'The damage and healing value is modified by *-15% (+7.5% per 100AP)** each bounce.'*
Patch 14.7: 'The damage and healing value is modified by *-10% (+10% per 100AP)** each bounce.'*
Before I explain how to get crazy heal/dmg numbers on Nami's W bounces, I first need to explain her unique scaling on W. Unlike most other enchanters who benefit from heal/shield power, Nami's W has a unique scaling where subsequent bounces become weaker pre-100AP, and become stronger post-100AP. This threshold was at 200AP before the most recent changes on her, so they buffed it significantly by lowering the threshold down to only requiring 100AP instead of 200, making AP builds even more potent now in terms of healing and dmg. As such, Nami benefits more from stacking AP than heal/shield power
To give some perspective, previously if I had 200AP my W bounces would be equally as strong as each subsequent bounce. However, with these changes, with 200AP our W is now amped by 10%, and will continue amping by 10% for every 100AP. Getting 400AP on AP Nami builds is very doable with the right setup, buffing our subsequent bounces by 30% per bounce. This means our second bounce will be 30% stronger than the first, and our third bounce will be 60% stronger than the first bounce, which does not need further explaining as to why this is absolutely obnoxious when it comes to dmg and healing values
These changes also mean that a lot of Nami players will need to learn to prioritise their bounces according to what they need. Before, some enchanter builds struggled to reach the 200AP threshold, so we could just autopilot the first bounce without giving it much thought. Now, bounce prioritisation will actually become a prominent part of her kit
To explain how to alternate W effectively with an example, if my primary target (the one I want to dmg/heal the most) is A and my secondary target (less priority target) is B, then I will alternate my W bounces as follows:

• For most healing: W1 bounce to ally B -> W2 bounce to enemy -> W3 bounce to ally A for maximum healing
• For the most dmg: W1 bounce to enemy B -> W2 bounce to ally for heal -> W3 bounce to enemy A for the maximum dmg

And ofc, if u have Mandate then make sure to use E before W to ensure ur W bounces do even more dmg and proc Mandate c:

6.1. Did You Know?

If you hover over Nami's W, you may notice multiple rings. The outer ring indicates Nami's W range when self-cast, meaning that the ability has a slightly longer range when you cast it on yourself bouncing towards an enemy (25 more range) rather than casting it on an ally to bounce or straight onto an enemy. So if u ever need to W urself first, or need just a bit of extra range, make sure to utilise this. To execute this most effectively, I recommend using alt+W for self-cast

7. Final Words

I really hope this helps out some fellow supports. This build can be a bit difficult to grasp at first, and will take some time to learn and get used to. But always rmb that when unsure u can always go back to Aery as it will always remain the most consistent option overall
I'm also aware that First Strike is being nerfed next patch from 15g -> 10g. Personally, I think it could still be situationally good. Also, I apologise for any typos that may have been made, as the post was quite lengthy and was done on phone (so I may have missed some typos while proofreading) 😭😭
This is also my first time making a post to this this degree of length and detail, so if there are any formatting errors or discomforts, please feel free to leave feedback below for me to improve on! For those who stayed til the end, I genuinely want to thank u and appreciate ur time and support 🥺🩷🩷
^{**Disclaimer:* In order to avoid unnecessary conflicts and misunderstandings, please note that the above information serves as a recommendation and general guideline intended to explain the phenomena. It is based off of my own personal experience, as well as research of other players. Thus, said information is by no means perfect, nor is it a law that you must follow. You are entitled to your own preferences, playstyles, and opinions, which may differ from mine* ®}

TLDR enclosed for each section directly under their respective subheading in bolded font

1. CONTENTS

The following guide has been split into these sections: - 1. CONTENTS - 2. So how/why does it work? - 3. ITEMS - 4. RUNES - 5. Core Mechanics of Nami W - 6. Final Words
As per request of a fellow fishie, I have come forth with a rune page that has been rising in popularity on enchanters: First Strike. Not only is this applicable on Nami, but on a lot of other enchanters who have decent range
Due to the length and detail of this guide, I can understand if some fishies don't wish to read everything. In which case, I have included TLDRs in this post. For ease of access, here is the formatting guideline for the TLDRs of this post:
The following guide has been split into sections for easier navigation, if u are in a hurry for a specific section, scroll down to find the specific subheading that u need. Each explanation is also lengthy, but if u want a brief TLDR of each section, it will be enclosed for each section directly under their respective subheading in bolded font:

2. So how/why does it work?

TLDR (for this section): - Take First Strike vs matchups you outrange - Nami E on allies procs First Strike - The new Jack of All Trades rune should be utilised (see below for how)
Before I get into the specific build, I first need to explain how and why this whole setup works. First Strike is mostly taken as a gold-accelerating rune vs matchups that u outrange, ensuring that u get the "first strike" onto enemies consistently. With the changes to First Strike giving more base gold on the initial hit and less gold on subsequent hits compared to before, it pairs really well with a lot of enchanters' poke patterns. Usually, we have one poke spell and not much followup. The current First Strike matches this poke pattern perfectly (think Nami W, Sona E, Seraphine passive-empowered autos etc), allowing us to get an extra 15g per proc on top of our support item gold
On Nami specifically, we have an additional way to proc First Strike, since Nami E on allies actually procs First Strike! The best part of this interaction is that ur ally can be hit by enemies with ur E buff, but bc it wasn't you being hit directly, u will still retain the First Strike bonuses if ur ally hits enemies back with ur E buff despite being hit first! A common issue raised with this point is "what if my ADC is bad and doesn't use my E buff?" Don't worry, I got u covered too! So, whenever u empower an auto or ability that is still travelling middair towards the enemy, if u E urself or ur ally during said auto/ability, the slow and bonus dmg from E will still apply on impact. So, if u notice that ur ADC has cast an auto or ability onto the enemy, try to E them while this auto/ability is still travelling towards the enemy. Not only will this maximise E duration, give enemies minimal time to react to the slow and extra dmg, but it will also ensure that u proc First Strike due to E buff, as well as Manaflow Band and other item effects
This also works on ur own autos and abilities, and chaining abilities tgt like this will also help to cancel Nami's lengthy spell animation for more efficient trade patterns, hence better First Strike usage. Since W is our most consistent poke ability, we ideally want to start with this ability when trying to proc First Strike. This differs slightly from the regular Aery setup where we want to auto -> E ourself while our auto is still middair travelling towards enemy -> W enemy -> bubble/ult or let the bounceback heal retaliate enemy dmg. Instead, we want to W -> E ourselves while W is still middair travelling towards the enemy -> auto -> disengage with bounceback heal or bubble/ult
I'm able to come out of lane with 300-400 gold fairly consistently. Pair this with free boots or Cash Back, and u can essentially double this amount of gold. Since enchanters tend to be quite item-reliant, having this extra gold generation allows us to reach our item spikes a lot faster, further increasing the snowball potential

2.1. Jack of All Trades

Supports are actually able to utilise the new Jack of All Trades rune surprisingly well. Our support item alone already covers 3 of the 10 stats required. Here are the list of stats that we will generally be able to obtain on supports: - AP - HP - Health Regen - Mana Regen - Haste - Movespeed - %Movespeed - Heal/Shield Power - Armor - Magic Resist - Mana (?) - Magic Pen (?)
In order to get these stats, we will need our support item which gives HP, health regen, and mana regen. Most items will cover the haste component. Boots for the movespeed stat. Ardent will give us the %movespeed as well as heal/shield power. But if we don't need Ardent, then we can split this into any other heal/shield power item + Shurelya's. Armor + magic resist can be optained from Locket or Wardstone. Alternatively, if we don't need armor + magic resist, we can instead trade these stats for magic pen + mana instead (will also explain this in further detail below)
As you can see, the items required for Jack are situational items. It is important to identify during champ select if said items, particularly Ardent/Shurelya's + Locket/Wardstone, will be built for this game. Altho, these items will be applicable in most situations anyway
If u don't need these items for that particular game, or if u don't feel like u'll be able to reach all these stats for whatever reason, then Cosmic Insight is always a great staple. Lower summ cds for lower Flash and Heal cds, notoriously long-cd spells, as well as item haste. Item haste works on non-active item cds such as Dream MakeCelestial/Solstice/Zaz'Zak's cds, Mandate mark cds, as well as lowering trinket cd etc.

3. ITEMS

TLDR (for this section): - Skip paragraphs to see builds under their respective subheadings (3.1. Defensive Build and 3.2. AP Build) below - Each individual dot point reperesents one individual item slot
Alright, now that all the theory work is out of the way, we can finally move onto the specific build (what everyone is here for). There are two main builds to go about this. Each individual dot point reperesents one individual item slot:

3.1. Defensive Build

• Support Item (upgrade does not matter, as long as u have the base support item)
• Mandate
• Lucidity boots
• Shurelya's + SoFW/Mikael's/Redemption/Dawncore OR Ardent + Helia/Mejai's/Morello/situational (buy Dark Seal on first recall if u plan on getting Ardent)
• Locket/Wardstone

This build is run in situations where u need the defensive stats from Locket or Wardstone vs harder comps or matchups, with Locket being particularly good vs AoE and/or burst dmg. This build will also cover all the stats from Jack of All Trades (see list from previous section)
Ardent is the most efficient item for Jack due to it providing mana regen, heal/shield power, and %movespeed, all in one item. This will free up an extra item slot where we can buy a situational item, like antiheal, or if it's not needed then Dark Seal into Mejai's is always a great alternative for cheap AP (Nami has good AP ratios), or any other alternative item that u may need
However, it may not always be an Ardent game. In situations where it isn't an Ardent game (non-autoattack-reliant comps), u will need to split the %movespeed and heal/shield power stats into 2 separate items. Typically, Shurelya's + any other Forbidden Idol item will cover this. You can also go for any other item that gives %movespeed, but I find Shurelya's the most consistent. The main downside is ofc, the build being quite rigid if u go for this option (no room for antiheal or other situational items)
Also smth handy to note regarding Helia, the dmg portion of Helia does indeed proc First Strike!

3.2. AP Build

• Support Item (upgrade does not matter, as long as u have the base support item)
• Mandate
• Sorc Shoes
• Archangel's (buy Tear on first recall preferrably, or second recall latest)
• Shurelya's + SoFW/Mikael's/Redemption/Dawncore OR Ardent + Mejai's/Morello/Horizon Focus/Cryptbloom/situational (buy Dark Seal on first recall if u plan on getting Ardent)

This is a more AP-focused build in situations where u don't need to be so defensive. We omitted the armor and magic resist from Locket/Wardstone for mana (Archangel's) and magic pen (Sorc Shoes). Nami E on allies uses her own magic pen, hence Sorc Shoes here

4. RUNES

TLDR:

• Inspiration: First Strike, Magical FootweaCash Back, Biscuits, Jack of All Trades/Cosmic Insight
• Sorcery: Manaflow + Transcendence/Absolute Focus/Celerity/Scorch/Gathering Storm OR Transcendence/Absolute Focus + Gathering Storm
• Double Adaptive + Scaling HP OR 8AH + 2%MS + Scaling HP

The more specifics to optimise ur runes to their respective builds:

4.1. Runes for Defensive Build

• Inspiration: First Strike, Cash Back, Biscuits, Jack of All Trades/Cosmic Insight
• Sorcery: Manaflow + Transcendence/Absolute Focus/Celerity/Scorch/Gathering Storm
• Double Adaptive + Scaling HP OR 8AH + 2%MS + Scaling HP

Omitted free boots for Cash Back. Since this is for the defensive build, we will need to rush Lucidity boots vs hard matchups. Not only are Lucidity boots a cheaper option so it gives a faster spike in movespeed vs skillshot-heavy lanes, the lower Flash cd will be good vs engage lanes. Jack vs Cosmic has been explained in previous sections
Manaflow + Transcendence is default. For in-depth explanation:
Manaflow is essential for defensive build. Only go Absolute Focus in situations where enemies lack poke, allowing u to maintain the HP threshold for the AP. Transcendence is a good default, when unsure u can always default to this due to Nami's long cds. Pair both these with double adaptive minor shards option. Celerity if u need the movespeed vs heavy-skillshot comps (pair this with the 2% movespeed minor shard option)
I personally don't recommend Scorch with the First Strike setup due to the scaling nature of this build. However, Scorch is typically good with early-game ADCs or matchups where u have early pressure. Scorch also barely adds any bonuses to First Strike, especially as the game progresses. Avoid Scorch if enemies have sustain, as they can easily outheal or outshield that bit of Scorch dmg. When unsure, or in any other situation, go Gathering Storm

4.2. Runes for AP Build

• Inspiration: First Strike, Magical Footwear, Biscuits, Jack of All Trades/Cosmic Insight
• Sorcery: Transcendence/Absolute Focus + Gathering Storm
• Double Adaptive + Scaling HP

Due to the more expensive nature and higher scaling potential of this build, go free boots so that u can focus on rushing items. Since we go Archangel's with this build, we won't need Manaflow. For maximum scaling, I recommend Absolute Focus + Gathering Storm (also the greediest option). Otherwise, Transcendence as explained prior

5. Core Mechanics of Nami W

TLDR (for this section): - More than 100AP -> subsequent bounces heal/dmg MORE - Less than 100AP -> subsequent bounces heal/dmg LESS - W has slightly longer range when self-cast
Smth absolutely crucial to these First Strike builds, as well as any other AP Nami builds, is understanding her W bounce mechanic. I often get asked why AP Nami, and it would be natural for some fishies to come forth and ask about this too, so I will just include this section here as well. For the fellow fishies who already about this, please feel free to skip this section
The reason why AP Nami is a thing is bc of the way her W scaling works to begin with. We unironically heal more with AP builds than enchanter builds. Allow me to explain:
Patch 14.6: 'The damage and healing value is modified by *-15% (+7.5% per 100AP)** each bounce.'*
Patch 14.7: 'The damage and healing value is modified by *-10% (+10% per 100AP)** each bounce.'*
Before I explain how to get crazy heal/dmg numbers on Nami's W bounces, I first need to explain her unique scaling on W. Unlike most other enchanters who benefit from heal/shield power, Nami's W has a unique scaling where subsequent bounces become weaker pre-100AP, and become stronger post-100AP. This threshold was at 200AP before the most recent changes on her, so they buffed it significantly by lowering the threshold down to only requiring 100AP instead of 200, making AP builds even more potent now in terms of healing and dmg. As such, Nami benefits more from stacking AP than heal/shield power
To give some perspective, previously if I had 200AP my W bounces would be equally as strong as each subsequent bounce. However, with these changes, with 200AP our W is now amped by 10%, and will continue amping by 10% for every 100AP. Getting 400AP on AP Nami builds is very doable with the right setup, buffing our subsequent bounces by 30% per bounce. This means our second bounce will be 30% stronger than the first, and our third bounce will be 60% stronger than the first bounce, which does not need further explaining as to why this is absolutely obnoxious when it comes to dmg and healing values
These changes also mean that a lot of Nami players will need to learn to prioritise their bounces according to what they need. Before, some enchanter builds struggled to reach the 200AP threshold, so we could just autopilot the first bounce without giving it much thought. Now, bounce prioritisation will actually become a prominent part of her kit
To explain how to alternate W effectively with an example, if my primary target (the one I want to dmg/heal the most) is A and my secondary target (less priority target) is B, then I will alternate my W bounces as follows:

• For most healing: W1 bounce to ally B -> W2 bounce to enemy -> W3 bounce to ally A for maximum healing
• For the most dmg: W1 bounce to enemy B -> W2 bounce to ally for heal -> W3 bounce to enemy A for the maximum dmg

And ofc, if u have Mandate then make sure to use E before W to ensure ur W bounces do even more dmg and proc Mandate c:

5.1. Did You Know?

If you hover over Nami's W, you may notice multiple rings. The outer ring indicates Nami's W range when self-cast, meaning that the ability has a slightly longer range when you cast it on yourself bouncing towards an enemy (25 more range) rather than casting it on an ally to bounce or straight onto an enemy. So if u ever need to W urself first, or need just a bit of extra range, make sure to utilise this. To execute this most effectively, I recommend using alt+W for self-cast

6. Final Words

Phew! That was probably one of my lengthiest explanations made into a single post to date! I really hope this helps out some fellow fishies. This build can be a bit difficult to grasp at first, and will take some time to learn and get used to. But always rmb that when unsure u can always go back to Aery as it will always remain the most consistent option overall
I'm also aware that First Strike is being nerfed next patch from 15g -> 10g. Personally, I think it could still be situationally good. Also, I apologise for any typos that may have been made, as the post was quite lengthy and was done on phone (so I may have missed some typos while proofreading) 😭😭
This is also my first time making a post to this this degree of length and detail, so if there are any formatting errors or discomforts, please feel free to leave feedback below for me to improve on! For all the fishies that stayed til the end, I genuinely want to thank u and appreciate time and support 🥺🩷🩷
Hope this explains everything!
^{**Disclaimer:* In order to avoid unnecessary conflicts and misunderstandings, please note that the above information serves as a recommendation and general guideline intended to explain the phenomena. It is based off of my own personal experience, as well as research of other players. Thus, said information is by no means perfect, nor is it a law that you must follow. You are entitled to your own preferences, playstyles, and opinions, which may differ from mine* ®}

Hey everyone, I’m looking for an 80s cover band for a birthday party this fall. Does anyone know any cover bands in town that play for hire?
Thanks in advance!

Okay, we went to a concert had mediocre seats, but still centered and we could see on the big screen. Last band plays (our favorite) and my boyfriend wants to try and get closer. He does a lap and finds a hole in the security and we get past the first few and make.our way toward the stage. We end up sliding into the VIP section and chill for a few minutes. A security guard notices us and asks for our wrist bands. Then my boyfriend starts explaining we never got one, we were supposed to get one and we didn't. The guard says we are supposed to have one on. I stop listening to them and try and watcht he concert. The guard is persistent and I stand up and tell the guard I'm going to figure out what happen (not fully admitting we were supposed to be there ) and I walk away from my boyfriend and the security guard. I simply walk back to our original seats.
My boyfriend eventually comes back and is upset with me- tells me something along the lines of "you don't trust me" "you don't believe in me" "he knows i was bull shitting him, he doesn't care" .
I got upset- (tell me if I'm over reacting) - but I got upset because I was uncomfortable and I left the situation and it felt harsh to be told "you don't believe in me" over something so silly. I got upset because I don't want to see a worker get hassled at their job- I don't want to be apart of someone's interaction if it involves lying and gaslighting the guy into believing we needed to be there. I was okay with doing something silly like sneaking into to VIP, but not when it comes down to a worker having to interact with us.
Did I bale on the situation too early?

• boyfriend if you see this, don't hate me. I just have to know what others think.
• I am telling this as best as I can remember, and as neutral as I possible can.
• please just be nice

PRESENT
This is Part 2 of 3, the Present, in game events we see! Onwards!
The Protagonist is some sort of content creator, one that goes to abandoned or forgotten places and "searches" them, as can be gleaned from the cameras facing the protagonist on his desk, and his conversation with a certain Laura, or LSparks53 (there's also an error in this Harmony tab, with one of the messages from Laura reading as from LauraSparks53 instead of LSparks53. Just a note). This Laura helps our protagonist, who goes by the username of eEnsign. His profile picture are the letters UF, which is weird, since it doesn't match the username, nor what Laura calls eEnsign: Ed. Anyways, I digress. From now on, I'll call the protagonist Ed as well. Laura helps Ed get footage of these places as per the conversation.
eEnsign: "Hey Laura! I'm doing another search this weekend! Wanna come with me?"
LSparks53: "The last few times I've gone with you SUCKED LMAO."
eEnsign: "Remember that old theme park we went to see as kids? Indigo Park?"
LSparks53: "yeah? I kind of forgot about that place? Been closed for a while, right? how would you even get in?"
eEnsign: "Honestly, I don't know. I'm not even gonna bring my equipment. Jump a fence of something? We've done worse lol”
LSparks53: "aight, well just be careful. I'm gonna pass on this one. if you can get in i'll go with you to help record some other time. i'm looking it up now and there's like NO info online about it. probably swarming with cops too."
eEnsign: "I guess we'll find out! I'll check it out, maybe we can go together next week?
Lsparks53: "just be careful, Ed. I don't want to be paying your bail."
And with that conversation, we learn that these two are like a dynamic duo of sorts, having some sort of channel or website where they post footage of places lost to time and "search" them, breaking laws of trespassing and such, apparently also having "done worse", whatever that means. Maybe they took a few things from the place, so burglary? It's never specified. Probably burglary, though, considering that Ed has taken to collecting all sorts of plushies and such from Indigo Park.
What I want to point out is how weird this Laura person acts. As soon as Indigo Park is mentioned, Laura instantly seems to dislike the idea, but never directly says it. Instead, she becomes reluctant to go with Ed, despite having done worse, as Ed puts it. Perhaps she's just cautious, and based on her last sentence, they haven't been caught before, or else she would have said "I don't want to be paying your bail again."
However, I don't think that's the case. Remember when Laura said she looked up Indigo Park and found nothing? Well, we know the website is still up and running, or at the very least, Ed used some sort of service like the Wayback Machine to pull it up on the right most monitor on his desk, which can be seen in the opening cutscene. On it, there's even an option to purchase tickets still, which is incredibly weird, which I'll also go into later on. Why would a defunct theme park need a still running website? After all, if you evacuate everyone from it with no explanation, wouldn't you want to get rid of all evidence of it? If not destroy the property outright, then at least take the website down. Again, digressing, the point is that Laura didn't find this website ... or she did, but didn't say anything.
Again, this is purely speculation at this point; I mean, the two of them have broke into a few places trespassing and recording and documenting abandoned places at least a few times for the internet, and maybe she really is just that cautious, worried about being imprisoned and charged for trespassing, and even attempted burglary.
And it seems like Ed is asking the same questions we are. Behind the Harmony tab is a notes tab with several questions such as "Why did it close?" and "What is left?", among a few others that are cut off. The next question seems to ask "Is it still" something. Seems like Ed and us are in the same boat. Hopefully we can help each other out.
Regardless, Ed ends up climbing the fence and enters the closed off Indigo Park, where dozens of crates stamped with the Indigo Park logo, along with trash, can be seen. Walking around, the main gates are closed off, and one of the doors seem to open on their own, allowing Ed entry into the Registration Center, a desk with a few monitors where a Rangler would sit and check Ed in.
Inside, the Rambley AI comes to life, noting that Ed is the first person there in just over eight years, before directing us to the previously mentioned Registration Center. It is revealed here that AI Rambley has access to the cameras (both computer cameras and CCTV cameras), where he notes that Ed isn’t on the guest list, probably because he snuck in, and didn’t pay for his tickets. However, what stands out as odd is that Rambley doesn’t recognize Ed at all, asking if he was here for the first time. We know that it’s most definitely not Ed’s first time here, but it’s unclear if AI Rambley doesn’t recognize Ed because he grew up, or the registration process requires a photo upload.
Rambley AI: "Hm, I don't seem to have your face in the guest list. Is this your first time here in the park? Or did you just get plastic surgery?"
From here, Ed’s directed to go through the gates, but both AI Rambley and Ed realize that the gates are not open and are instead sending an error message. Going back to the Registration Center, Ed finds and replaces a missing gear, and the gates finally open, from where Ed is free to explore. He’s directed to the Critter Corner, where he receives a Critter Cuff to enter certain areas, and the park, from where he’s directed to Rambley’s Railway to get to know most (poor Salem) of the characters. A massive statue of Isaac Indigo and Rambley can be seen at the entrance.
As Ed makes his way through to Rambley Railway, it’s clear that the park is not in the best condition. Ransacked gift stores, empty cafes with rotting food and festering drinks, tunnels collapsing at the drop of a hat, and weeds spouting everywhere even disconcert the AI Rambley, who tries to shrug off the state of the park by claiming renovations, but it’s clear he’s unsettled with how empty and broken the park is. We’ll cover that later as well.
On this ride, Rambley introduces us to everyone, except for Salem, indicating he’s friends with everyone except her and Lloyd, for whom he has … let’s a bit of distaste for. He’s shown to be sarcastic and snippy with Lloyd, but even his supposed friends aren’t safe from his occasional jabs.
Rambley when speaking to Mollie Macaw: “You sure are [the best pilot you ever saw], Moll! Why, you only crashed into six barns this week!”
Mollie: “I’m not crashin’, Rambley! I’m barnstormin’!”
Rambley: “Haha! What’s barnstorming?”
Mollie: “It’s crashing, with style! I-it barely hurts at all!”
The stutter in Mollie’s audio is what interests me. It could be interpreted as a glitch, which is certainly possible. The park hasn’t been maintained in eight years, and it is falling apart. But it could also be interpreted as Mollie losing her characteristic confidence, upset that Rambley seems to be so keen on pointing out her failures in her hobby sphere.
Rambley, when speaking to Finley the Sea Serpent: “Why the long face? And body? … Oh Finley, you should come out of YOUR shell!”
Finley, in response. “How about YOU come into it instead?”
I would also like to note AI Rambley’s interaction with Finley’s plushie.
AI Rambley: “Ooh, you found my buddy Finley! You know, he’s really shy, like, TOO shy, like OBNOXIOUSLY shy, but he’s got a good heart.”
I want to point out the fact that when Rambley speaks about how shy Finley is, he doesn’t seem to be doing it in a jesting way. In fact, he seems genuinely annoyed with how introverted Finley is, to the point where you can hear it in his voice, and he also uses his annoyed model with slanted eyes when mentioning it.
There’s also a note here that, apparently, Rambley and Finley have known each other for over 100 years, though it’s unclear if this is actually real information, or just something the creators of the ride decided to include for the fun of it.
And another thing. At the very end of the Finley section, Finley hopes that the rider will actually visit him and Oceanic Odyssey, because he’s lonely. Why should he be lonely? He’s friends with Rambley and Mollie, at the very least. Is it because he lives on the bottom of the ocean? Or for other reasons?
Ed then reaches Salem’s area, which is noticeably, horrifically destroyed, a splatter of something bright red front and center. This is where the ride breaks down, and Ed’s required to go and fix it, before continuing onto Lloyd’s area.
I’d like to stop the story to consider the state of Salem’s area; why is it so destroyed? I’m going to avoid thinking of the red splatter as blood, to be honest, but we do know that the Mascots bleed red, thanks to Mollie Macaw. In my mind, there are three potential perpetrators.
The first two are noticeably weak connections, and the reasoning isn’t 100%, so take it with a grain of salt. We know that all the characters received Mascots, so there are three of them that, in my mind, are capable.
The first is, admittedly, a bit weird: the Mascot of Salem. We know she despises Rambley and his friends (her relationship with Lloyd remains a mystery), so it’s possible that Mascot Salem was the one to sabotage her area, as a way of getting back at Rambley. Why her area only is admittedly a bit weird, so she’s not the strongest match. Another piece of evidence would be the smashed animatronic of Mollie. Again, we do know that Salem has used Mollie before by dumping her potions onto her and making Mollie Salem’s minion. Could she also have smashed the animatronic bird?
The second suspect is Mascot Mollie. She can be seen following Ed throughout the ride, and the whole park, for that matter, and we do know there is some bad blood between her and Salem because of the arcade game Rambely Rush. It would give motive for Mascot Mollie to do such a thing, and she’s the only Mascot running about Indigo Park that we know of; Lloyd remained in his theater, not pursuing Ed when he leaves. At the end of the chapter, when Ed enters Oceanic Odyssey, it’s unclear whether a robot or Mascot Finley appears in the aquarium, but he’s likely confined there as well. Mascots Rambley and Salem aren’t even mentioned once.
Now, this one is also kind of a stretch, but the only character that would have more reason to hate Salem more than Mollie is Rambley. They are clear nemeses (again, Rambley Rush), and have been for quite some time. While the AI Rambley is generally benevolent, but still with a sharp tongue, it remains to be seen what exactly the Mascot Rambley is like. His Mascot is still likely here in Indigo Park somewhere, one of the remaining two (Mollie being dead, unless there are several of each Mascot present, in which case this elevates the terror a few notches. Imagine being chased by seventeen Mascot Lloyds) besides Salem. He could very well be the perpetrator. However, I do have a bit of trouble explaining why he would wreck the Animatronic Mollie. Maybe because he knows it’s just a fake, and not the real Mascot Mollie?
However, there is one convenient detail that I have not mentioned. Remember the smashed Animatronic Mollie, and how we were questioning why she was wrecked in the first place? Well, she does offer us one clue. When Ed approaches the bird, Mollie flickers to life momentarily, her voice garbled and distorted until finally, she says this:
Animatronic Mollie: “Not Rambley! He hurts Lloyd! He hurts Lloyd!”
After that, poor Animatronic Mollie finally shuts off for good, her painted eyes devoid of the life she once had. Well, this certainly got interesting, didn’t it? Rambley hurts Lloyd? How? I mean, think about it! How would a raccoon actively hurt a lion? This isn’t like a honey badger situation; raccoons are much more vulnerable and weaker than honey badgers. What’s also interesting is her words themselves. Why would someone program an Animatronic Mollie to say this? We eventually find out that Mascot Mollie will memorize and be able to repeat words or phrases she’s heard, if Ed has the misfortune of being caught by Mascot Mollie later down the line. Is it possible that the same is true for the animatronics? And if so, does that mean that Animatronic Mollie was shouting bits and pieces out of context, or was it supposed to be something she was never meant to hear, and was thusly wrecked?
And even if this was out of context, that still opens up a major can of worms. Even if Rambley never hurt Lloyd, who is this ‘He’ that did hurt Lloyd? Keep this in mind until we reach Lloyd’s attraction.
Anyways, onto Llyod’s area. It’s clear that Lloyd and Rambley both don’t like each other, quite possibly because Rambley hates how Lloyd used to be number one, and Lloyd possibly because he’s not happy that he was replaced by Rambley as head honcho. Rambley, for his part, doesn’t really try to antagonize Lloyd, just wearily going through the ride and trying to get out as fast as possible here.
And that’s essentially it for the ride, AI Rambley suggesting Ed go visit Jetstream Junction. Careful observation would yield the fact that Mascot Mollie has been stalking Ed, studying him from behind the scenes, though she won’t end up being an antagonist until later on.
What’s interesting to note is that at the end, AI Rambley says this: “So, whatddya think? Pretty fun, right? Now you know all about my friends! And Lloyd …”
We know that Rambley cannot stand Salem, Rambley Rush made it quite clear. So, why refer to Salem as a friend? Why is her area so wrecked? Is it possible that AI Rambley has no reason to hate her, because he’s not aware of how often he’s pitted against her in media? But that would also mean that AI Rambley would have to be quite unaware of the media surrounding him, but he seems to know a lot about the history of the park. He still dislikes Lloyd, after all. And then that would beg the question if Mascot Rambley actually dislikes Salem enough to destroy her area in his ride. Too many questions that, unfortunately, there are no answers for. We can’t even see AI Rambley’s thoughts on Salem through a plush or anything, because there are no current collectibles in Chapter 1 that refer to her.
This is actually why I think one of the more intriguing aspects of ‘Birds of a Feather’ is Salem, and her ambiguous presence within the game. There aren’t even any posters in regard to her, unlike Lloyd or Rambley or Mollie or Finley. She’s just so wrapped up in mystery … anyways.
After finding out Jetstream Junction is locked away, AI Rambley sends Ed to Lloyd’s Main Stage Theater, where Ed first catches a glimpse of Mascot Lloyd, dozing on the stage. When Mascot Lloyd notices Ed, he runs into the back, and unfortunately, that’s where Ed has to go.
When Ed reaches the stage himself, AI Rambley tells Ed to be careful, because he has no vision of the backstage area, which is weird. AI Rambley seems to have access to the rest of Indigo Park, why is this area so special? It’s just storage, for the most part … and Mascot Lloyd, but AI Rambley still thinks they’re just as good as they were in their hay day, so he has no reason to be wary of the Mascots themselves until later. It’s true that it’s a Ranglers Only area, and we haven’t really seen AI Rambley in these areas before, so that could be it? Maybe because of his dislike for Lloyd? But then why give AI Rambley access to the stage at all? I don’t know, to be honest. Yet another question. However, AI Rambley does say something interesting.
AI Rambley, to Ed, regarding the behind the stage area: “Hey buddy. I got eyes all over the park, but I can’t see anything behind the stage. If you’re going back there be careful. Your Critter Cuff is not yet able to resuscitate you.”
Why should a Critter Cuff be able to resuscitate a person? From what I understand, it’s supposed to be like those Disney Bands that you can wear at parks, giving you access to different rides and such, even having complementary features of being a pedometer, mood ring, and a heartbeat sensor. This could either be a sort of tease to future upgrades Ed might be able to get in future chapters … or implies something darker. These Critter Cuffs were given to regular guests, for what purpose should they be able to revive someone from being unconscious?
Anyways, as Ed makes his way backstage, Lloyd makes some appearances, even once trying to attack Ed before being foiled by the massive boxes landing on him, causing him to slink away. Along the path, however, is something interesting. Binders, pages, even notebooks are scattered, almost like a bread crumb trail. I was never able to make out what they say besides some months like January, or vague Table of Contents with no explanation. Just thought it was weird. Food for thought. Grabbing the keys, Ed heads back, finding the door locked behind him. Trying to open the door yields an attack by Lloyd, who is strangely repelled by a high-pitched noise.
Now, from all that I have read, there seem to be two theories as for why Lloyd flees. The first cause is that Mascot Lloyd is driven away by the high-pitched beeping from the Critter Cuff. The second, and arguably more intriguing theory, is that someone blows a tamer’s whistle. A tamer’s whistle is a whistle used by tamers to direct animals, usually in settings like circuses where the animal has to perform some sort of trick or feat of athleticism. As it’s used more and more often, the animal learns to recognize the pitch, or duration of the shrill sound, associating it with a certain action that needs to be performed. In this case, the theory states that the tamer’s whistle caused Lloyd to fall back, before fleeing.
Now, while I think the tamer whistle theory is cool in concept, I don’t know who would be able, or more importantly, willing to save Ed from Mascot Lloyd. AI Rambley is not able to see what’s back here, nor should he understand what’s happening, so that removes him from the picture. Mascot Mollie is a possibility, perhaps wanting to save Ed for herself, as she’s seen stalking and watching Ed ever since Rambley’s Railroad, and even appears briefly in the hallway when Ed exits the theater backstage, but why want Ed for herself? They probably don’t need food, else they would have died, sweet pastries and sugary drinks present or not. They were left alone for eight years, after all. The thrill of the hunt would be the only explanation. And then there are our two unknowns, running about the park: Mascot Rambley and Mascot Salem. Could they have been the ones to do it? But why assume they’d act differently towards Ed? Surely they’d still be hostile?
And if the Critter Cuff was the savior, why was it ineffective against Mascot Mollie? Could it be because of the physiological and biological differences between Mascots Lloyd and Mollie? And why did it go off only when Lloyd was nearby? After Lloyd is repelled, the noise stops, after all. Was it the elevated heart rate that tipped off the defense mechanism? But again, surely it would have done the same when Ed would be chased by Mascot Mollie?
Remember what Animatronic Mollie told Ed with her dying breath? ‘Not Rambley! He hurts Lloyd! He hurts Lloyd!’ Could this be what Mollie was referring to? After all, Lloyd didn’t just run away; he collapsed a few feet away from Ed for a brief stint, paws pressing against his ears as Lloyd curled up into a fetal position, only running away when the high-pitched sound ended. Mascot Lloyd genuinely seemed in great pain, and was only able to run away, quite hastily, may I add, once the sound stopped. Was Rambley, AI or Mascot, the one who abused such a feature? Or was it someone else?
Remember, we have no idea why the Mascots turned hostile. Possibly due to a lack of exposure to humans, and thus claiming certain territories for themselves. After all, Mollie didn’t attack Ed until he entered her designated area. But then that brings into question Mascot Rambley. Where was he all this time? Rambley Railroad is his place, after all. But this isn’t Rambley’s only attraction in Indigo Park. At least one other location that we find that bears Rambley’s name is ‘Café de Raton Laveur’, which is French for Raccoon Café. Does that mean that Rambley owns other attractions, and is stalking those? It’s unclear.
Anyways, want to know another possible reason why there was a sudden evacuation with no explanation? What if the Mascots rebelled against the humans because of mistreatment? Think about it, Animatronic Mollie says ‘Not Rambley! He hurts Lloyd! He hurts Lloyd!’ What if Animatronic Mollie wasn’t referring to Rambley hurting Lloyd, but someone else? Someone who would want to design a special feature built into his Critter Cuff that he could activate and subdue, if not straight up hurt Lloyd? And who is the only other male character that we know of besides Rambley, Lloyd, Finley, and Ed?
That’s right, Isaac Indigo himself. This could very well be a case of mistreated creatures rebelling against the horrors they endured. Think about it, when in stressful situations, the mind, both human and not, is much more willing to go into fight or flight, is much more likely to punch first, question later. Is it possible that this Animatronic Mollie caught a snippet of a conflict that arose between the Mascots, when Mascot Mollie was trying to mediate? While this does go against the theory that Animatronic Mollie was destroyed by Mascot Rambley to silence her, it’s still a possible theory, no?
Again, these theories are very much a stretch, I just wished to lay them out on the table and offer them up for people to see and debate.
After grabbing the keys, Ed goes to Jetsream Junction, where Ed goes about exploring and solving some puzzles in order to progress further into the building, as it seems to be the only other place that isn’t falling apart and seems to be in somewhat stable condition. Inside one of the rooms is the Rambley Rush arcade game, and there is something interesting that Salem says in here.
Salem, speaking to Rambley: “Meet the new and improved Marley Macaw! Now with none o’ that ‘friendship’ garbage stopping her from tearin’ you to pieces. I wonder what she REALLY thinks of you now? Have fun finding out!”
Now, this could just be me overanalyzing this thing. It’s our only reference to Salem, and some of the things I cite as evidence could very well just be regular dialogue for an arcade game. However, on the off chance that this means something, I was very interested in what Salem said about what Mollie thought of Rambley. She makes it seem like Mollie is under some sort of illusion in regard to Rambley, like he’s a villain masquerading as a good guy, but has everyone around him convinced he’s good. This could tie in with the broken Animatronic Mollie, as if Mollie found out about some truth in regard to Rambley. After all, her broken, jittering speech made it seem like Rambley was actively hurting Lloyd. Could she have gone to someone to get help, but that other someone suggested Rambley as an ally? That could explain why Mollie felt the need to emphasize that ‘He hurts Lloyd’ twice, like she’s genuinely freaking out that her best friend actively hurt others he didn’t like.
Putting that theory aside, Ed goes through the area, heading up to Mollie’s ride, only to find it inaccessible due to major chunks of broken debris. AI Rambley seems sort of horrified to find the place so broken and calls up a repair technician. It’s no surprise that the line is discontinued, due to most Ranglers likely being laid off after the closure of Indigo Park.
From here, AI Rambley, still somewhat jarred by the wreckage he’s seeing, encourages Ed to go and visit Mollie’s Landing Pad, strangely acting as if Ed had just finished his journey on the attraction, when he couldn’t even step onto it. From there, Ed goes and solves some puzzles, making his way deeper into the building. He spots Mollie a few times as she gets away from him, hiding. What’s an interesting note is that some sort of liquid seems to be dripping from Mollie. When you encounter her in one of the tubes, she leaves behind some sort of reddish grime that disappears once her animation is done. Her eyes, also, aren’t the way they’re usually portrayed. They’re similar to Lloyd’s in that there are white pinpricks of light in dark sockets, Lloyd’s being thin ovals in dark sockets.
As Ed finishes up the puzzles, he goes deeper before he’s attacked by Mascot Mollie herself, fleeing through the numerous tubes and tunnels, before eventually leaving it all behind and entering some sort of Ranglers Only Area.
Before we continue, I’d like to point out something. When being chased, Mascot Mollie occasionally rehearses some lines she once heard, repeating this.
Finely, to Rambley: “You’ve known me for 100 years.”
Reasonable enough; she was there when Ed was in the Rambley’s Railroad attraction. No, what concerns me are two other lines, identified by SuperHorrorBro in his analysis of chapter one.
Mascot Mollie: “Get back in your cage, bird.”
And finally, this.
Mascot Mollie: “Get up you stupid freak!”
Remember, Mascot Mollie only repeats what she has once heard. She doesn’t actively make her own dialogue. Remember the theory I had about the Mascots having enough of their terrible living conditions, and rebelling against the staff? It seems like this is the right direction to go in. Lloyd and Mollie do not attack immediately. While Lloyd runs away, Mollie observes, watching, biding her time. She follows you to Lloyd’s theater, and what does she see, or, rather, hear? Lloyd being pushed further and further back into his domain, the one place he should be happy, before being forced into a corner, and where he lashes out. Even though Ed ends up leaving, he ends up claiming a piece of Lloyd’s territory, and Lloyd goes back onto his instincts, to hunt. However, when he gets too close, that blasted, accursed Critter Cuff lets out its horrible whine, Lloyd collapsing, consumed with nothing but pain. Once the sound ends, he flees, like a terrified animal.
And what does Ed see when he leaves? Mascot Mollie, observing Ed. She’s seen that, yet again, a human encroaches, pushes their bounds, eventually hurting Lloyd to get what he wants. And then, he goes to Mollie’s home, the Jetstream Junction, a place she’s been locked out of due to needing a Critter Cuff, but she wouldn’t dare touch one. She saw what happened to Lloyd, who knew what sort of anguish it would inflict upon Mollie?
She enters behind Ed, stalking him, fury building as she watches Ed run about like he owns the place. How dare this man, this human, walk upon her domain whenever he wants, but she has to wait until she’s let in, like some sort of caged bird. Well, she’s not a caged bird, and she’ll make Ed see that.
At first, when AI Rambley sees Ed, he wishes to stop Ed, but seeing a towering Mascot Mollie chasing him, he opens the door, slamming it shut behind Ed just as Mascot Mollie’s head enters the room, killing the Mascot instantly as blood sprays all over the metallic door and floor. AI Rambley attempts to act like nothing happened, but fails, sighing.
He explains that he didn’t realize the danger of Indigo Park and its inhabitants due to being stuck in that early Reception Center for all of those eight, lonely years, unable to see or interact with anything inside. He was just so excited to finally see an actual person that he pushed Ed into this tour, realizing that, with the way things were, there was no way Ed would come out unscathed, and the AI seems genuine in his sorrow. However, he asks for Ed to help restore the park to the former glory, and, miraculously, Ed agrees. However, before Ed leaves, AI Rambley drops this one last piece of vital information.
AI Rambley: “Whew! That was exhausting to say that whole spiel, but Rambley’s Ranglers (registered) is a registered trademark … that expired yesterday.”
Okay, so couple things. From my impression, I had the feeling that somehow, someway the Indigo Company as a whole was alive and kicking. I mean, look at what Ed has to say when he interacts with the Rambley Raccoon plushy.
Ed: “Ah, there’s my buddy. Kinda feels like Rambley has a whole empire now, being the main man of Indigo and all.”
Ed gives us the distinct impression that not only is Indigo still around, but it’s also positively thriving, yet they allow their trademarks to expire? Trademarks essentially last forever, but you have to fight, in court, to let them continue every ten years or so. If Indigo is based on Disney, the stingiest, largest entertainment company, why would they let their trademark expire, and give access to others? Well, this might have to do with the initial terms.
You see, in order to keep a trademark, you have to defend its usage every ten years. Well, okay, then why didn’t Indigo do so? One of the terms for renewal is that you have to continuously use that trademark. You can’t just claim one and never use it again, that’s basically an infraction upon free speech. Sure, you can fight for its ownership, but there are rules and regulations to these kinds of things, you can’t just trademark something like ‘Oof’ or ‘Lmao’ and keep it without at least saying those phrases occassionally.
And, so far as we know, there are no other places such as Indigo Park owns. Ranglers are synonymous with staff in the park, so obviously, it would be hard to justify keeping a trademark when you never expect to use it. So, that’s my theory on why the trademark did indeed expire the day previously, October 6^th, 2023 (apparently, the creator confirmed the game takes place in 2023, so, that means that Ed arrives on October 7^th, 2023, and the last person to enter park left on October 7^th, 2015).
Anyways, after that, AI Rambley leads Ed to Oceanic Odyssey with the intention to get it back up and running, as it has been closed due to repairs, something that AI Rambley hopes Ed can assist with. As Ed exits, he tries entering a hallway, which AI Rambley blocks.
AI Rambley: “Uh oh. That Rambley’s Ranglers room is only accessible by Royal Ranglers. Maybe you’ll grow up big and strong enough to enter it! But for now, don’t.”
This is the first instance of hierarchy within the Ranglers that Ed has been introduced to so far, and the dark undertone AI Rambley takes when he tells Ed not to go there is somewhat concerning. What exactly is AI Rambley hiding back there? Well, I have a few hunches.
Let’s point out the obvious regarding our friends, the Mascots; they’re not regular animals. Obviously, regular animals don’t have dark orbitals with thin white slits, or have turquoise noses, or have macaws the size of cassowaries. However, they are still animals, creatures of flesh and blood that act like their regular animal counterparts; Lloyd is an ambush predator, stalking until he himself is presented with an opportunity to attack. However, lions are known to just straight up attack if they are discovered by accident, especially if the prey is weaker and slower than them. Lloyd runs away instead of attacking.
Similarly, Mollie follows Ed warily, unsure of what to think of him for most of the time. She never aggresses until he enters her territory, and even then, she’s surprisingly lenient with Ed, straight up until he finishes those color-coded symbol puzzles. Only then does she attack. And even then, this is a behavior reflected in regular macaws as well, as these birds are fiercely territorial of their area.
So, these Mascots didn’t pop up straight from the ground, did they? They had to be bioengineered at the very least, mutated regular animals becoming the Mascots guests once knew and loved. They are, however, animals at their core, animals that do not attack for no reason. They try to deescalate the situation, as Lloyd does when he runs backstage, and when Mollie pulls herself back through the tunnels, away from Ed, and striding through the corridors, until she eventually loses patience and chases after Ed through Jetsream Junction.
I’d like to propose the theory that these Mascots were created in that area of Jetstream Junction, hidden underground and away from prying eyes. This is also where the Mascots were likely mistreated and abused, called horribly names at the very least, and endured beatings and humiliating acts at their worst. This is also likely where the Mascots originally snapped. After all, literally not a single guest understands why they were evacuated. Unless the guests who saw what happened were silenced, there should have been something floating around the Internet, on some obscure forum.
Now, why would AI Rambley hide this? Because he now understands that these Mascots are dangerous, a risk he cannot allow, since he enlisted Ed to bring the park back from the dead. AI Rambley realizes that Ed doesn’t have the tools to survive that area; perhaps because one of the Mascots lurks in there, locked away, or because he doesn’t want Ed to flee, horrified as to the scientific process that allowed for the mutated abominations to roam Indigo Park.
Regardless, Ed finally makes his way to the entrance of Oceanic Odyssey, home of the Mascot Finley. In fact, we actually get to see a glimpse of Finely’s actual size in one of the aquariums as his large head and long torso appear, before the chapter ends. I don’t believe that this is an animatronic, as electricity and water do not mix, especially animatronic with running current of electricity in water.
And that’s where Chapter 1 of Indigo Park, ‘Birds of a Feather’, ends off. Chapter Two will likely revolve mostly, if not totally, around Oceanic Odyssey and Mascot Finley.
So, I have two predictions as for where the next chapter might go. Based on the reactions Mascots previously had to Ed, I believe that Mascot Finley will not be attacking immediately. He’ll likely be observing, like Mollie, at least for a certain amount of time, until he proceeds to attack and harass Ed around his attraction. Ed will eventually get Oceanic Odyssey up and running, and have to leave Mascot Finley behind, as he’s still hostile and very much a danger to Ed.
The alternative to this is that once Mascot Finely realizes what Ed is trying to do, he stops being aggressive, and might instead become a temporary ally, allowing Ed to reach certain locations with his knowledge of the place.
Regardless of Mascot Finley’s ultimate fate, Oceanic Odyssey being powered on will likely catch the attention of Indigo. Based on the information we know so far, Indigo is still a well known, public entity. It’s possible that Indigo abandoned the theme park route, instead focusing exclusively on media such as cartoons, movies, and merch, or they might have other sister locations to Indigo Park. It’s unclear.
Whew. In the words of AI Rambley, this is a lot of information. Almost nine thousand words in, and we finally finish covering Chapter 1. So, let’s proceed to the Conclusion I draw regarding the story Indigo Park tries to tell, and the future events that might transpire.

DAY: MAY 31 2024
5-31-2024

RESEARCH SUGGESTS LEADERS’ SOCIAL MEDIA POSTS ARE TAKEN JUST AS SERIOUSLY AS FORMAL STATEMENTS

Over 180 world leaders maintain social media accounts, and some of them issue policy warnings to rivals and the public on these platforms rather than relying on traditional government statements. How seriously do people take such social media postings? A new study suggests the general public and policymakers alike take leaders’ social media posts just as seriously as they take formal government statements. The research, by MIT political scientists, deploys novel surveys of both the public and experienced foreign policy specialists. “What we find, which is really surprising, across both
5-31-2024

SCALE OF ONLINE HARM TO CHILDREN REVEALED IN GLOBAL STUDY

More than 300 million children a year are victims of online sexual exploitation and abuse, research indicates. Pupils in every classroom, in every school, in every country are victims of this hidden pandemic, according to researchers who have conducted the first global estimate of the scale of the crisis. The statistics, from the Childlight Global Child Safety Institute at the University of Edinburgh, amount to a clear and present danger to the world’s children, according to the crime agency Interpol. Online risks One in eight of the world’s children, about
5-31-2024

PRONATALISM IS THE LATEST SILICON VALLEY TREND. WHAT IS IT—AND WHY IS IT DISTURBING?

For Malcolm and Simone Collins, declining birth rates across many developed countries are an existential threat. The solution is to have “tons of kids,” and to use a hyperrational, data-driven approach to guide everything from genetic selection to baby names and day-to-day parenting. They don’t heat their Pennsylvania home in winter, because heating is a “pointless indulgence.” Their children wear iPads around their necks. And a Guardian journalist witnessed Malcolm strike their two-year-old across the face for misbehavior, a parenting style they apparently developed based on watching “tigers
5-31-2024

HOW SCIENCE, MATH, AND TECH CAN PROPEL SWIMMERS TO NEW HEIGHTS

One hundred years ago, in the 1924 Paris Olympics, American Johnny Weissmuller won the men’s 100m freestyle with a time of 59 seconds. Nearly 100 years later, in the most recent Olympics, the delayed 2020 Games in Tokyo, Caeleb Dressel took home the same event with a time that was 12 seconds faster than Weissmuller’s. Swimming times across the board have become much faster over the past century, a result of several factors, including innovations
5-31-2024

BANNING SEX CRIME OFFENDERS FROM CHANGING THEIR NAMES DOESN’T MAKE US SAFER

The government of British Columbia recently introduced a bill to ban people convicted of serious offenses from legally changing their name. The proposed amendment to the province’s Name Act would also prohibit those found not criminally responsible due to mental disorder from changing their name. The government announced the move after media reports that Allan Schoenborn legally changed his name to Ken Johnson. Schoenborn was found not criminally responsible for the deaths of his children in 2010 because of a delusional disorder, and was placed at a psychiatric hospital.
5-31-2024

SILICON VALLEY ISN’T THE START-UP UTOPIA WE THOUGHT, RESEARCH FINDS

Silicon Valley—considered the world’s hub of technology and innovation—can breed inequality and sameness among budding entrepreneurs, according to new research. Behind the multi-million-dollar deals and tales of start-up utopia, Silicon Valley’s “uneven” investment landscape is in fact a barrier to many budding businesses, says the study from the University of Stirling and Georg-August-University Göttingen. But the researchers suggest other countries could still learn from the more discerning entrepreneurial ecosystem that bred giants such as Apple and Google, to be more selective in backing start-ups. While it is not uncommon for
5-31-2024

I WANT TO KEEP MY CHILD SAFE FROM ABUSE—BUT RESEARCH TELLS ME I’M DOING IT WRONG

Child sexual abuse is uncomfortable to think about, much less talk about. The idea of an adult engaging in sexual behaviors with a child feels sickening. It’s easiest to believe that it rarely happens, and when it does, that it’s only to children whose parents aren’t protecting them. This belief stayed with me during my early days as a parent. I kept an eye out for creepy men at the playground and was skeptical of men who worked with young children, such as teachers and coaches. When my kids were
5-31-2024

OVER 300 MILLION YOUNG PEOPLE HAVE EXPERIENCED ONLINE SEXUAL ABUSE, EXPLOITATION, FINDS METASTUDY

It takes a lot to shock Kelvin Lay. My friend and colleague was responsible for setting up Africa’s first dedicated child exploitation and human trafficking units, and for many years he was a senior investigating officer for the Child Exploitation Online Protection Center at the UK’s National Crime Agency, specializing in extra territorial prosecutions on child exploitation across the globe. But what happened when he recently volunteered for a demonstration of cutting-edge identification software left him speechless. Within seconds of being fed with an image
5-31-2024

CYBERFLASHING IS A FORM OF GENDERED SEXUAL VIOLENCE THAT MUST BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY

Sexting—sending sexually suggestive or explicit messages and images—is now a widespread practice, and can be a healthy way to express and explore sexuality. However, there is a need to distinguish between consensual sexting and forms of sexual harassment like cyberflashing. Cyberflashing refers to the act of non-consensually sending sexual imagery (like nudes or “dick pics”) to another person. It is facilitated through communications technologies including text, AirDrop and social media applications like Snapchat and Tinder. Similar to flashing—when a person unexpectedly and deliberately “flashes” their genitals to others—that occurs in
5-31-2024

VIRTUAL TRAINING MAY BE AN EFFECTIVE, COST-EFFICIENT OPTION FOR CHILD EDUCATORS

Teachers and other child educators can benefit from regular professional development, but in-person training can be expensive. New research found that virtual training can be a budget-friendly alternative—and especially effective for certain groups of educators. The study—a collaboration between researchers at Penn State and the University of Nebraska-Lincoln and published in the International Journal of Professional Development, Learners and Learning—found that educators who took a virtual training reported feeling more confident in their abilities to implement practices shown to support positive youth development. In particular, after-school providers who did not
5-31-2024

HUMBLE LEADERS BOOST EMPLOYEES’ WORKPLACE STATUS AND LEADERSHIP POTENTIAL, FINDS STUDY

There are many different types of workplace leaders, from those who prioritize the needs of team members and the organization above their own, to authentic leaders who foster openness, trust and transparency. A recent study by the University of South Australia published in the Journal of Organizational Behavior has highlighted the significant benefits of humble leadership in the workplace. According to the study by UniSA’s Dr. Xiao Lin, humble leadership can effectively elevate the workplace status of employees by boosting their sense of respect and prominence. It also leads to
5-31-2024

WHY ARE GROCERY BILLS SO HIGH? A NEW STUDY LOOKS AT THE SCIENCE BEHIND FOOD PRICE REPORTING

Rising food costs are squeezing Canadians around the country. Nearly everyone is feeling the pinch, and it’s not just an inconvenience—high food prices are a major threat to food security for many Canadians. Understanding why food prices are so high and why they are changing is critical to the well-being of our society. Unfortunately, consensus on why food price are so high is in short supply. Explanations given in reports like Canada’s Food Price Report and the news media range widely, from the war in Ukraine to supply chain issues
5-31-2024

WILL GENERATIVE AI CHANGE THE WAY UNIVERSITIES COMMUNICATE?

Is artificial intelligence an unprecedented opportunity, or will it rob everyone of jobs and creativity? As we debate on social media (and perhaps use ChatGPT almost daily), generative AIs have also entered the arena of university communication. These tools—based on large language models that were optimized for interactive communication—can indeed support, expand, and innovate university communication offerings. Justus Henke has analyzed the situation of German realities about six months after the launch of ChatGPT 3. “The research was conducted about a year ago when enthusiasm was high, but it was
5-31-2024

STUDY SHOWS RELATIVELY LOW NUMBER OF SUPERSPREADERS RESPONSIBLE FOR LARGE PORTION OF MISINFORMATION ON TWITTER

Classification of superspreader accounts. A large portion (55.1%) of accounts are no longer active. For each class annotated with political affiliations, colors indicate the ideological split. The last group aggregates all accounts with political affiliations. Credit: PLOS ONE (2024). DOI: 10.1371/journal.pone.0302201 A small team of social media analysts at Indiana University has found that a major portion of tweets spreading disinformation are sent by a surprisingly small percentage of a given userbase. In their study, published in PLOS ONE, the group conducted a review of 2,397,388 tweets posted on Twitter
5-31-2024

HOW LIFE’S BIG MOMENTS CAN CHALLENGE STARTUPS

Life-changing events like the birth of a child, the purchase of a new home, or a lottery win could threaten the survival of a new business venture, the positive family events had a comparatively greater influence, albeit negatively, on the survival of a new venture, compared with
5-31-2024

RUDE AT WORK? FEELING GUILTY CAN MAKE YOU A BETTER, KINDER WORKER

We’ve all done it. A bad night’s sleep or a tough commute made us cranky, and we lashed out at a coworker who did nothing wrong. What can we do to make up for it? According to a new study published in the Journal of Business Ethics, embracing our guilty feelings can help us make up for our bad behavior by encouraging us to act more politely and work harder the next day. “We found that anyone can be rude at work, because anyone can
5-31-2024

RESEARCHERS INTRODUCE A PLANETARY INCLUSION SCALE TO FOSTER BROADER ETHICAL THINKING

Social inclusion and having a sense of belonging with other people are key elements of a good life. However, the fate of humanity is a challenge that extends beyond our social reality. Experiences of belonging and inclusion, understood in a broader sense than before, may be crucial for a sustainable future. In an article published in the International Journal of Social Pedagogy, a team of researchers propose a new planetary inclusion scale that structures our planetary relationship three-dimensionally based on temporal, spatial and ethical orientation. The temporal element relates to
5-31-2024

‘LEAN IN’ MESSAGES CAN LOWER WOMEN’S MOTIVATION TO PROTEST GENDER INEQUALITY

Women in leadership are often told to “Lean In,” designed to be motivational messaging demonstrating that they are more confident, strategic and resilient to setback. However, new research indicates that such “lean in” messaging can hinder women’s motivation to protest gender equality. Popularized in a book by American technology executive Sherly Sandberg, the “Lean In” solution to gender inequality advises women that demonstrating personal resilience and perseverance in the face of setbacks is key to career advancement. Now, a new study led by the University of Exeter, Bath Spa University
5-31-2024

ALGORITHMS COULD HELP IMPROVE JUDICIAL DECISIONS

A new paper in the Quarterly Journal of Economics finds that replacing certain judicial decision-making functions with algorithms could improve outcomes for defendants by eliminating some of the systemic biases of judges. Decision makers make consequential choices based on predictions of unknown outcomes. Judges, in particular, make decisions about whether to grant bail to defendants or how to sentence those convicted. Companies now use machine learning based models increasingly in high-stakes decisions. There are various assumptions about human behavior underlying the deployment of such learning models that play out in
5-31-2024

DIGITAL CAMPAIGNING IS A HUGE PART OF ELECTIONS NOW—BUT GOING VIRAL ISN’T EVERYTHING

The election has commenced and the race is on—to amass as many likes, shares and comments as possible. Digital campaigning, particularly through social media, is now a key part of political candidates’ communication toolkit. In fact, every general election campaign since 1997 has at some point been lauded as the first to make effective use of digital campaigning. But it was in 2015 that David Cameron’s campaign first made strategic use of social media to drive an election victory. As political reporter Tim Ross outlines in his excellent book, Why
5-31-2024

WHY ARE ORGANIZATIONAL COVER-UPS SO COMMON?

The TV dramatization of the UK Horizon Post Office scandal evoked outrage and disbelief. However, as another example of dysfunctional organizational behavior, it was expected rather than exceptional. The Post Office saga joins a long list of cover-ups or scandals that includes Hillsborough, Enron, Grenfell, the infected blood scandal, the Tuam babies scandal in the Republic of Ireland, Boeing 737 Max and Nasa (Columbia space shuttle). They represent what happens when there is a move within organizations and institutions to cover up the causes of
5-31-2024

AMONG GEN Z AUSTRALIANS, 38% IDENTIFY AS SPIRITUAL AND HALF BELIEVE IN KARMA. WHY IS SPIRITUALITY SO POPULAR?

Spirituality is increasingly popular with young Australians: recent research shows 38% of Gen Z Australians identify as spiritual. It also reports 50% of them believe in karma, 29% in reincarnation and 20% in astrology. When it comes to activities equated with spirituality, 28% of Gen Z Australians practice meditation and 22% practice yoga. In Australia, spirituality is strongly, enduringly central to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples, and culturally and religiously diverse communities. Yet until recently, spirituality has received far less attention than religion. Spirituality may be
5-31-2024

COMPANIES CAN IMPROVE THE SUSTAINABILITY OF THEIR PRODUCTS IN THE EARLIEST PRODUCT-DESIGN STAGES

An interdisciplinary team of researchers from Lithuanian and Italian universities propose a tool that allows companies to assess the circularity of their future products. The self-assessment tool emphasizes the co-creation of circular design in the early (creative) stages of product development, encouraging entrepreneurs and designers to think more systematically and collaborate better by integrating related stakeholders into the product development process. The study is published in the Journal of Industrial Ecology. “The majority of existing practical tools (systems of indicators) are aimed at measuring the environmental impact of products already
5-31-2024

RESEARCH EXAMINES HOW RECREATIONAL MARIJUANA LEGALIZATION AFFECTS A STATE’S COLLEGE ENROLLMENT

New research has revealed up to a 9% increase in college first-year enrollments in US states that have legalized recreational marijuana compared with states without such legalization. The study, which is published in Economic Inquiry, found that the increase was from out-of-state enrollments, with early adopter states and public non-research institutions experiencing the most pronounced increases. Recreational marijuana legalization did not negatively impact degree completion or graduation rate, and it did not affect college prices, quality, or in?state enrollment. The findings suggest that some students perceive recreational marijuana legalization as
5-31-2024

RESEARCH EXAMINES HOW RECREATIONAL MARIJUANA LEGALIZATION AFFECTS A STATE’S COLLEGE ENROLLMENT

New research has revealed up to a 9% increase in college first-year enrollments in US states that have legalized recreational marijuana compared with states without such legalization. The study, which is published in Economic Inquiry, found that the increase was from out-of-state enrollments, with early adopter states and public non-research institutions experiencing the most pronounced increases. Recreational marijuana legalization did not negatively impact degree completion or graduation rate, and it did not affect college prices, quality, or in?state enrollment. The findings suggest that some students perceive recreational marijuana legalization as
5-31-2024

HOW THE ‘MODEL MINORITY’ MYTH HARMS ASIAN AMERICANS

May is Asian and Pacific American Heritage Month, a time when Americans celebrate the profound contributions of Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders—a group that is commonly abbreviated as AAPI—to U.S. society. It’s also a time to acknowledge the complexity of AAPI experience. And as a professor who studies equity and inclusion in business, I think the focus on AAPI communities this month provides an excellent occasion to push back against a stereotype that has long misrepresented and marginalized a diverse range of people: the myth of the “model minority.” The
5-31-2024

WONDERING HOW TO TEACH YOUR KIDS ABOUT CONSENT? HERE’S AN AGE-BASED GUIDE TO GET YOU STARTED

The Australian government’s new campaign Consent Can’t Wait challenges us all to improve our understanding of consent. It asks a series of questions to illustrate this issue is more complex than simplistic “no means no” messaging. The campaign invites viewers to consider the nuances of consent, so we can raise these important issues with children and young people in our lives. But what is a good age to start talking about consent? How do parents tackle such conversations when this information probably wasn’t readily discussed in our own upbringing? How
5-31-2024

A PRODUCT OF NATURE OR NURTURE?

The concept of cultural entrepreneurship has many facets. It encompasses both the cultural and social impact of entrepreneurial training, and the environmental factors that influence its development. Some societies, such as the U.S., have a strong entrepreneurial culture. This means that certain characteristics are celebrated and encouraged, such as the ability of individuals to assume risks, patience when confronting challenges, and innovative problem solving, especially in uncertain situations. However, not all countries have such an entrepreneurial culture. Entrepreneurship struggles to take off in Europe In general, entrepreneurship can drive economic
5-31-2024

STUDY BRIDGES ANIMAL BEHAVIOR RESEARCH AND COMPUTER CODING TO ENGAGE CHILDREN IN STEM

A graphic depicting a student coding. Credit: Carnegie Mellon University Teachers today face a bit of a conundrum, according to a new study from researchers at Carnegie Mellon University and the Rochester Institute of Technology. Their goal is to prepare young students to enter a rapidly changing world. Even basic jobs require technical proficiency, which requires computational and analytical skills. To address this need, many educators are pushing to fold these important STEM skills into elementary curriculum. Here’s the problem. Young students can lose interest and even develop an aversion
5-31-2024

STUDY SHOWS VR CAN HELP TEACHERS BETTER DISTRIBUTE THEIR GAZE

On the left, a bird’s-eye view of the virtual classroom; on the right, screenshots of each of the four gaze-visualization conditions. Teachers need to know their material, but they must also keep their students engaged and interested. Part of that involves making eye contact with their students—all of them. A multidisciplinary team of researchers tested several methods of data visualization in an immersive virtual reality (VR) classroom, to give teachers a way to gauge
5-31-2024

MARKETERS CAN MANAGE ‘FEATURE CREEP’ SO CONSUMERS FEEL LESS INTIMIDATED BY TOO MANY FEATURES IN A PRODUCT

Wifi-enabled washing machines. Voice-controlled microwaves. App-enabled TVs, vacuum cleaners, and even window blinds you can control from the comfort of your couch. Many of the technological features now included in everyday products are useful and accessible. But research has shown that having too many can overwhelm potential buyers, making them less likely to make a purchase. In recent research, Wayne Hoyer, marketing professor and James L. Bayless/William S. Farrish Fund Chair for Free Enterprise at Texas McCombs, digs into the phenomenon of “feature creep” and its impact on consumer sentiment.
5-31-2024

RESEARCHERS EXPLAIN SOCIAL MEDIA’S ROLE IN RAPIDLY SHIFTING SOCIAL NORMS ON GENDER AND SEXUALITY

A new paper summarizing decades of research demonstrates how social media has supported an explosion of diversity in gender and sexuality in America during the 21st century, and also how these technologies have equally enabled a cultural backlash. The paper’s authors, UC Santa Cruz Psychology Department faculty members Phil Hammack and Adriana Manago, identified five main narratives about gender and sexuality that they believe emerged through social media as people have strived to be “authentic” on these platforms. The findings, along with resulting recommendations for psychology researchers and practitioners, were
5-31-2024

KEY FACTORS IN TRAINING ASSESSORS FOR ENHANCED PERFORMANCE RATINGS

New research is examining how organizations can improve their training programs by customizing frame-of-reference training to emphasize identifying negative behaviors critical to their goals. While assessors naturally identify positive behaviors, C. Allen Gorman, Ph.D., associate professor in UAB’s Department of Management, Information Systems and Quantitative Methods, says targeted training helps them recognize harmful actions that can hinder organizational objectives. Involving assessors in defining important performance dimensions and examples of behaviors, both good and
5-31-2024

STUDIES CHALLENGE WIDELY HELD BELIEFS ON APPLICANT DIVERSITY AND WOMEN IN THE WORKPLACE

Justin Frake is interested in cause-and-effect relationships in real-world data and the hidden dynamics that shape workplace behavior and equality—or inequality, as the case might be. His curiosity has led to research that challenges some popular beliefs as well as published studies related to women in the workforce. One study shows that firms promoting flatter hierarchies inadvertently discourage female applicants and another study counters several recent studies that claim women CEOs negatively impact career outcomes of other women. Both are published in the Strategic Management Journal. The assistant professor of
5-31-2024

CHALLENGING LEWIN’S MOTIVATIONAL CONFLICTS THEORY

A recent series of experiments challenges the longstanding theory of motivational conflict resolution introduced by Kurt Lewin. According to Lewin, conflicts between two undesirable outcomes (avoidance–avoidance conflicts) are typically harder to resolve than those between two desirable ones (approach–approach conflicts). Lewin posited that avoidance–avoidance conflicts, where individuals must choose between two undesirable outcomes, are typically more challenging to resolve compared to approach–approach conflicts, which involve choosing between two desirable options.
5-31-2024

MEN WITH ‘TOXIC MASCULINITY’ ARE MORE LIKELY TO MAKE SEXUAL ADVANCES WITHOUT CONSENT, STUDY FINDS

No means no when it comes to sex. But what happens when a woman makes a more passive response to a sexual advance? According to new research from Binghamton University, men differ in how they interpret these types of responses, and men who display hostile masculinity, known commonly as “toxic masculinity,” tend to act on them regardless of whether or not they think it’s consensual. A team of researchers, including Binghamton psychology professor Richard Mattson and graduate student Michael Shaw asked men between the ages of 18–25 to respond to
5-31-2024

WHY WE DEHUMANIZE OUR POLITICAL OPPONENTS

Some of human history’s greatest atrocities—genocide, slavery, ethnic cleanings—are rooted in our ability to dehumanize people from other social, political, or cultural groups. Whereas prior research has traced dehumanization to the belief that others think or feel less than we do, new research co-authored by Haas professor Sameer Srivastava shows that our tendency to dehumanize can also be influenced by how we think others view important facets of the world. The greater the difference between our perceptions of an outgroup’s worldview
5-31-2024

STUDY SUGGESTS CHILDREN ARE OFTEN EXPOSED TO PROBLEMATIC CLICK BAIT DURING YOUTUBE SEARCHES

When a child peruses YouTube, the content recommended to them is not always age appropriate, a new study suggests. Researchers mimicked search behaviors of children using popular search terms, such as memes, Minecraft and Fortnite, and captured video thumbnails recommended at the end of each video. Among the 2,880 thumbnails analyzed, many contained problematic click bait, such as violence or frightening images, according to the Michigan Medicine led research in JAMA Network Open. “Children spend a significant amount of time on free video sharing platforms that include user-generated content,” said
5-31-2024

STUDY FINDS WOMEN ARE VULNERABLE IN POST-WAR PEACE PROCESSES

Post-war peace processes are a dangerous period for women. Many are forced to live close to men who committed serious abuse during the war or are expected to testify in various types of truth commissions, which can be both retraumatizing and stigmatizing. These are the findings of a new study by peace researchers at Uppsala University, published in the journal PLOS ONE. “In short, peace projects can force women to live side by side with ex-combatants who committed atrocities during the war. This puts them at risk of further threat
5-31-2024

HOW EMBRACING THE CRINGE CAN HELP YOUR DATING LIFE

We can all agree that dating is hard. Getting to know people can feel vulnerable, but at the same time, exciting. We can also agree that feeling rejected can be one of the worst feelings, especially after we put ourselves out there. Dating can also expose us to a lot of cringey things, maybe even something we didn’t know we’d consider cringey. Think of cringe like something that makes you uncomfortable, or something about someone else that you don’t find attractive. Before dating, most of us consider what we’re looking
5-31-2024

PERSONAL CONNECTIONS AT WORK POSITIVELY IMPACT RETENTION AND MENTAL HEALTH, SAYS REPORT

New survey results from Wiley suggest people still feel connected at work despite the prevalence of hybrid and remote work environments and the rise of artificial intelligence (AI). According to the latest Wiley Workplace Intelligence report, “Human Connection: The Crucial Secret to Thriving in the Digital Age,” nearly 8 in 10 employees surveyed (78%) said they feel connected with their coworkers, and almost 7 in 10 (69%) said they also enjoy making connections with their colleagues. Around half even said they want to learn more about their coworkers by doing
5-31-2024

RESEARCHER DEVELOPS MODEL OF INFLUENCER IMPORTANCE WITHIN INSTAGRAM NETWORKS

A study has provided new insights into social media influencers, particularly focusing on those in the women’s fashion sector on the well-known image and video sharing platform Instagram. In a departure from the approach taken by earlier studies, Jens K. Perret of the International School of Management in Cologne, Germany, has used network statistics and centrality measures to establish a model of influencer importance within their network. Perret analyzed data from 255 influencers covering a four-year period. Influencers are loosely
5-31-2024

MOST PEOPLE TRUST ACCURATE SEARCH RESULTS WHEN THE STAKES ARE HIGH, STUDY FINDS

Rank (X-axis) does not affect the evaluation of trustworthiness (Y-axis, mean-centered) of accurate results. This lack of relationship is robust across experiments (columns) and for clicked results (top row, red) as well as non-clicked results (bottom row, blue). The trend lines represent the predicted change in trustworthiness ratings per unit decrease in rank fitted by the linear regression models. Credit: Scientific Reports (2024). DOI: 10.1038/s41598-024-61645-8 Using experiments with COVID-19 related queries, Cornell sociology and information science researchers found that in a public health emergency, most people pick out and click
5-31-2024

MISLEADING COVID-19 HEADLINES FROM MAINSTREAM SOURCES DID MORE HARM ON FACEBOOK THAN FAKE NEWS, STUDY FINDS

Despite the greater potency of “fake news” on Facebook to discourage Americans from taking the COVID-19 vaccine, users’ greater exposure to unflagged, vaccine-skeptical content meant the latter had a much greater negative effect on vaccine uptake. Credit: Jennifer Allen, Duncan Watts, David G. Rand Since the rollout of the COVID-19 vaccine in 2021, fake news on social media has been widely blamed for low vaccine uptake in the United States—but research by MIT Sloan School of Management Ph.D. candidate Jennifer Allen and Professor David Rand finds that the blame lies
5-31-2024

CRITICAL DIALOGUE HELPS STRAIGHT MEN CONFRONT SEXIST, HOMOPHOBIC BELIEFS

Adult heterosexual men with sexist and homophobic views can potentially improve their attitudes toward gay men and women by engaging in critical dialogues that use illustrations as a springboard, according to a new University of Michigan study. The work is published in the journal Sexual and Gender Diversity in Social Services. The process by which people shift from a prejudicial stance to one of relative acceptance is a key innovation of the study. Guided by trained facilitators, critical dialogues reflect illustrations depicting different gender roles and sexual identities. The images
5-31-2024

RELIEVING A FEAR OF PUBLIC SPEAKING

If you dread public speaking you are not alone. It is a leading social phobia, one that can cause a state of anxiety that reduces otherwise articulate people to nervous incoherence. A strong fear of public speaking is known as glossophobia. Academic studies estimate it affects 20% of the population, but depending on the sample and methodology, the figure could be as high as 40%. As American writer and humourist Mark Twain said, “There are two types of speakers: Those who get nervous and those who are liars.” But help
5-31-2024

HOW SOME PRIVATE COMPANIES ARE MARKETING TECH AND AI SOLUTIONS

How do universities and colleges decide who to admit? Given the earnings advantage of a post-secondary degree both globally and in Canada, this is an important social mobility question. While the answer varies from one institution to the next, most focus on education criteria like exam scores and grades. However, Canada’s new intake cap on study permit applications puts increased pressure on Canadian institutions to also consider immigration criteria when admitting international undergraduate students. This is just the latest example of immigration’s growing influence on the societal roles of Canadian

My experience as a patient at Cherry Hill Women’s Center NJ with a D&E abortion at 13w6d pregnant.
TLDR; very very kind staff, clean environment, professional clinic setup, 4 hour process, overall great experience as a patient.
My backstory: I’m over 30, married for over 10 years and have never had a pregnancy before. I have always been told by my doctors that i would never be able to get pregnant. I’m on multiple medications that can cause severe birth defects and i was not aware that i was pregnant until i was 12w5d. I had no idea how far along i may have been because i didn’t note any pregnancy symptoms except for tender nipples and vomiting a week prior to taking a test. I have always had a very inconsistent period and had frequent spotting on a regular basis. I had an US done & measured at 13w0days & was able to schedule this procedure for 6 days later so this abortion was done at 13w6days.
Emotionally this was very hard for me. I reconciled the fact that i would never be pregnant as a very young teenager. My husband and I decided not to pursue having children at the very beginning of our relationship and he still does not want to be a father. Initially I was very afraid to tell him that i was pregnant because i was afraid that him knowing i was pregnant would change his feelings about having children and that he would hate me for taking this away from him. I’m very fortunate in that he was resolute in his decision to not have children and he’s been absolutely incredible through this whole process. He said he would support me if i wanted to keep it but my medical reasons for wanting to terminate were valid and he was in full agreement that life is hard enough and intentionally bringing a deformed/disabled child into the world when life is already so hard just wasn’t the choice for us. He has been my absolute rock through all of this.
I did a lot of research prior to my appointment and I’m not going to lie, there are a lot of bad reviews on google that had me extremely nervous, making me feel like i was going to be walking into a back alley abortion and i was terrified that i wouldn’t be able to bring my husband with me for this whole experience. There is so much anti abortion propaganda out there and there are a lot of videos designed to make you feel like you are a bad person for “murdering babies” and trying to scare you out of going forward with the procedure, but if this procedure is the right decision for you, this place is the right choice to go to. Everyone is kind and professional and understanding. Not once was i made to feel like i was a bad person or making the wrong decision. I was met with understanding and support every step of the way. It is completely normal to be scared or emotional going into this. I have been a healthcare professional for over 10 years and am very familiar with preop/post op procedures and patient care and i was still very scared going into this appointment.
Scheduling experience: I used their online appointment request tool on a Sunday and Monday afternoon i got a text with a link for a hipaa compliant chat. I chatted with a very nice lady who was able to schedule me for the following Saturday. I wasn’t given any information other than to not eat or drink anything after midnight the night before and to be at the clinic at 8am Saturday. No one called, texted, or emailed any further instructions after that chat communication.
This is where my feedback for them to improve comes in. They really need to make it clear what to expect the day of the appointment: that we will not be able to have a support person come in with us because only the patients can be in the waiting room for safety purposes. They should be highlighting the process of the day with the multiple back and forth trips from the waiting room to the back and the different steps to expect. It would have been nice to know i would do paper work then wait then US and blood and vitals then wait then nurse for the history & going over the procedure then wait then the payment then wait then come to the back for preop and talk to the doctor then wait in preop then the operative area for the procedure then what to expect for the post op experience.
Clinic experience: Upon arriving to the clinic, the protesters on the front sidewalk were SO very nice to make the driveway more visible. -___- Unfortunately nothing can be done to remove them from a public walkway. The security guard comes to the door when you pull in to ensure you arrive inside safely. Please don’t let them deter you, don’t even look at them or acknowledge them.
I was greeted by the very kind security guard who had my escort sign me in and then i entered the office by myself.
The receptionist was very kind and provided me with my paperwork to fill out. The office was clean and quiet. After about 45 minutes i was taken back by a very kind employee (sweetest kindest human being ever with such a calming energy) who did my ultrasound and vital signs and did a finger stick to check my hemoglobin level and rH factor of my blood. I was then taken back to the waiting room for the next step.
30 minutes later i was taken back to speak with the nurse to go over my health history, medications, birth control options, and the procedure. The financial planner then came in and took my payment (we paid cash $750 for the sedated D&E, $65 for the depo shot we are fortunate to have the income to cover the costs but they do offer financial assistance ask the scheduler about it if you need it)& i was escorted back to the waiting room.
20 minutes later i was taken back by the first employee (the literal angel on earth, so so kind) who did my ultrasound earlier to talk with the Dr, who was also very nice, and i was given cytotec to place between my gums and cheeks to soften my cervix and prepare me for the procedure. I was then taken to the preop/postop area to put a gown cap and booties on, they let you keep your own socks on and it’s chilly in there so i recommend doing it. They put me in a recliner chair with a blanket and then about an hour after getting the cytotec, the nurse started an iv & gave me zofran since i was feeling nauseous. At this point i was having weird stretching bloating feelings in my uterus area with moderate to strong cramps, which i assume was the cytotec softening everything & dilating my cervix. I noted the post op nurses were very kind to the patients the whole time and met the loopy antics of the other women waking up from sedation with good humor and kindness.
The operative nurses wheeled me back to the procedure room in the recliner chair I was in and I was taken in to the procedure room and met the anesthetist and operative nurses. They helped me get situated on the procedure table and then the next thing i remembered was waking up in my recliner chair in the preop/post op area. They took me back at 10:45 and i woke up in the post op area at 11:12.
The post op nurse said i stood and sat in the chair on my own from the table to in the operative area as they don’t lift anyone there but i don’t remember anything between being positioned on the procedure table before the procedure and waking up in the chair in post op. The post op nurse gave me the depo provera shot i previously decided to take with the first nurse and helped me to the bathroom to get changed back into my clothes.
I felt moderate cramping, similar to period cramps on a heavy flow day, and had a good amount of bleeding and small clots present in the toilet. I came prepared and brought female pull-ups and pads so i put those on. My husband arrived to pick me up and the post op nurse gave me a 1x dose of antibiotics to prevent infections and went over discharge education. They escorted me out to the car and i was on my way home. I took 800mg Motrin as soon as i got in the car.
They had the security guard still at the front door and then a clinic escort in the parking lot keeping the protesters off the property and on the sidewalk.
I arrived for my 8:00 appointment at 7:30 and was in the car on my way home by 11:30. By the time we got close to our home 45 minutes later the Motrin had me feeling well enough to have a meal with my husband at the local diner.
It’s now 8 hours after we got home and i feel mild cramping after taking another dose of 800 mg Motrin. I would say the discharge is similar to a heavy flow day with small clots. My lower abdomen is visibly bloated but not very tender to the touch. (Until my husband wasn’t thinking and set Wawa bags with a half gallon of milk in them on my lap/lower abdomen -_-) I have a weighted heating pad and I’ve had it laying across my abdomen since i got home and it’s been so helpful for the mild to moderate discomfort I’ve had.
Timeline of events:
0730 arrived, security very nice, receptionist very nice 0815- taken back for US, VS, finger stick. Ultrasound tech very nice. 0845- nurse - history, procedure review, birth control planning. very nice and informative 0900- financial counselor very nice 0920- brought back by first US tech to see the Dr, cytotec inserted in cheeks 0930 changed into gown put in preop recliner chair, curtain dividers 1000- preop nurses very kind, playing fun music, joking with patients during their postop grogginess 1030- iv inserted 1045- took back to the procedure room 1112- procedure done, in recovery, got depo shot, iv taken out, got dressed 1130- discharge education and went home. Moderate period like cramping.
Recommendations: - ask as many questions as you need to feel comfortable, they will take the time to answer them - It’s normal to be nervous but you don’t need to be afraid to come here. Everyone was kind, understanding, and professional there. - Your decision is the right decision. Period. No one else gets to make it for you. - It doesn’t matter if you are young or older, single or married, have no children or already have 10 children, this decision is yours and your rights - Hydrate well the night before. I made it a point to drink several liquid IV’s late the night before knowing i couldn’t have anything to eat or drink after midnight. It will be very hard for the nurses to get an IV in your vein if you are very dehydrated, the more you drink the night before, the better your veins will be. - Bring your own pads or even female pull ups whatever you prefer. They do supply you pads but they’re the big huge thick ones that most people hate. - Have Motrin ready to take as soon as you’re done. - Get a heating pad for afterwards it really is soothing. - Walk as much as you can, it helps with the pain and swelling and helps get the clots out. - Firmly massage over your uterus area it will help get the clots out and help your uterus shrink back down to size faster. - If your BMI is over 40 they won’t be able to do an asleep abortion there since they don’t have advanced airway management there. You’re a higher risk of respiratory depression during sedation when you’re overweight. I wasn’t aware of this until i talked with the history nurse. Luckily i was right at 40 and the anesthetist cleared me. - If you need to be sedated they will make you have someone sign you in and sign you out. But they can’t come inside and wait with you. You cannot drive yourself. - They’re going to tell you not to put anything in your vagina for 1 week post op- no tampons, menstrual cups, no sex, nothing internally placed. Also no swimming or sitting in a bathtub for a week. This is all to prevent infection. You want the drainage to drain and not build up bacteria inside you. - You are going to be more fertile after the procedure. It can take 4 weeks to get your period again, you can get pregnant before you have a period, use birth control! They don’t do IUD insertions there so consider getting birth control pills or the depo shot while you’re there.

My best friend has turned into such a piece of shit.
And honestly, I (32/M) don’t know why I even still call him (39/M) a friend, let alone a best friend, anymore after this fiasco.
For context, I’ve known this guy - we’ll call him J - since 2011. We went to college together (not a 4 yr university, long story). Since then, we’d hung out a lot and often just go out for beers every week since his favorite thing to do is apparently to frequent breweries. He’s a little awkward, sure, not sure if he’s on the spectrum or anything, but I like him and he’s alright company. We’ll drink and laugh about stupid shit whenever we go out.
Last April, we went on a little bro-cation to our nation’s capital (Washington DC) and this was a trip we’d been planning for like 2 or 3 years and something we’d always wanted to do. Of course, I took the lead on planning all the logistics because I know for a fact I can’t trust him to do any of that (he’s not particularly savvy with all that, fair enough). So I get us a hotel room for 3 nights and put most of our expenses on my credit card. Mind you, at the time, it wasn’t a great time for me to keep loading my credit card up as I was 11k in credit card debt but hell I’m young. Sue me. I wanted to have fun and I wanted us to have fun so I decided to take the hit, who cares, live a little. Plus, it had been ages since we’d taken a trip - 2 years prior, we’d gone to Atlanta for 3 days and since then he’d gotten married and joined some amateur rock band so we hadn’t traveled in quite a bit.
Anyway, before this DC trip, I got verbal agreements from him several times during the planning of all this that he agreed to pay me back for half of the hotel room. Great!
So we take our trip and enjoy every second and live a little. When we got back home, I’d given him the amount he’d need to pay me back, bout $400+.
He gets paid bi-weekly on his hourly job (I have one too but I get paid slightly more than he does). He’d gotten paid the 2nd day we were in DC so by the time we’d gotten home, he really could have agreed to pay me back some part of it.
He pays me $120.00 the week after we get back. Sure, I’ll take it. Cool. Was expecting the whole amount but fine.
A couple weeks later, $100. Ooookay. Now I’m getting pissed. I’m literally being disrespected.
Today, I texted him to ask him to pay me back the rest of the $201 and some change he owes me.
I’ve copied the texts and put them here since this subreddit won’t allow me to post images :( It went as follows:
J - Yeah mid June. I just payed rent muthfucka
Me - Wow. Dude what do you think I'm doing tomorrow? I'm paying rent too. That's not a valid excuse. You think I have a disposable income or something? Look, I'm only going to explain this here and now but I need you to understand that it was not convenient for me to pay all that money for us to go on vacation in April but I did anyway because you're my best friend and we deserved to have a great time. And before that I told you it wasn't a good time for me to spend a lot of money because I was loaded with debt but the point is I spent anyway regardless of that. You literally agreed several times to cover half of those expenses before the trip. I see what you're doing, man, and I'm sorry but it's not cool and I want you to know that. You've been trying to delay this as long as possible because I'm apparently not a priority to you. What the fuck, J? We've known each other for like 11 years and this is the thanks get? And like I understand you're not well off financially either but you're literally only thinking about yourself now and that's just disrespectful. What happened to you? Cause you definitely used to not be this way.
By this time, it’s been almost 2 months since the trip.
I wasn’t expecting to get a response but he comes back with agreeing to pay $100 now. Cool. I get a text on the way to driving to meet him at a brewery:
$50 was sent to me. Half what he promised.
The fuck??!
I still agree to meet up with him. We get pretty hammered tonight and when I get back home, I jokingly text him there better be a good reason he only sent me half. This motherfucker fires back with “you’re welcome”. Like, are you fucking kidding me??? Continuing to disrespect me like that?
Am I reaching for the stars here? Is it that unreasonable for me to want to be paid back in a timely fashion??

When I was ten, I formed a junior detective squad.
Mom bought me the entire box set of What's New Scooby Doo, and I was inspired to start my very own detective gang. I held auditions outside the gymnasium at recess (serious enquiries only) after a number of kids tried to apply for the role of Scooby Doo despite me reiterating I was not interested in playing make believe.
When I was laughed at in class, I made posters strictly asking for SERIOUS wannabe detectives, even going as far as using my Mom’s printer to make flyers, sticking them all over the school.
Auditions were simple. I asked them to solve a simple riddle.
Whoever impressed me got to sign their name down, and I’d get back to them.
I spent three days sifting through kids who definitely had charm, but they lacked the intelligence of a junior detective. Most kids were only auditioning to make fun of me, anyway.
Still, though, I didn't give up.
My flyers had five requirements:
1). You had to be smart.
2). You were not allowed to be a scaredy cat.
3). You had to accept your inevitable death at the hands of our town’s evil villains.
4). You had to have a fully registered driving licence (I quickly changed this to a bike).
5). You cannot have a criminal record.
(I later scribbled this one out, writing over it. *“You cannot have any tardies.”
Narrowing the applicants down to three kids, all of whom failed to share my enthusiasm for solving cases. The kids I picked didn't even know how to make plans, and when I invited them to my house, they stole my Mom’s necklace.
I didn't even need to solve the mystery of who stole Mom’s necklace. The girl was wearing it at school. I punched her in the face, and was immediately sent to the principal’s office. When I was being given the mother all lectures, the door quietly opened, a head peeking through.
It was Ben Callows, a freckly kid with overgrown brown hair hanging in his eyes. Ben really needed a haircut.
He was always wearing the exact same baseball cap, and I found myself wondering if it was permanently glued to his head, stuck on top of unruly brown curls practically matted to his forehead.
In class, Ben was also known as Bloody Ben. In the second grade, the boy had a nosebleed in the middle of a spelling test, bleeding all over his paper.
It's not like he didn't try and detach himself from the name.
Ben brought in Digimon cards, so kids would call him Digimon Ben instead.
Then he “accidentally” spilled yoghurt down his shirt in hopes we would call him Yoghurt Ben. But no. The kids in our class were relentless in reminding him of his name. No matter what he did, he was still Bloody Ben, and when anything related to blood came up in class, fifteen pairs of eyes would swivel to him, like he had invented the concept of bleeding.
I feared the nickname would follow him to junior high.
Ben didn't wait to be let in. He didn't even knock, striding in with his arms folded. Over the years, Bloody Ben, had definitely soured his personality.
He smiled rarely, and when he did smile, someone was falling over or hurting themselves.
Which definitely strengthened the claims of him being a sociopath.
The rumor mill was churning, with the latest claiming Bloody Ben killed his cat. That wasn't true. Ben’s cat was seventeen with cancer, and that was why he was sobbing all the way through reading time.
According to Ellie Daly, however, Ben had killed and dissected his kitty, and buried her in his Mom’s flowers.
Now, my principal did not like being interrupted, especially when she was in the middle of screaming at me.
Principal Marrow was old old (like, thirty, in my ten year old mind) stick thin like a pencil, and always wore the same stained sweater.
She used to be pretty, but I was convinced she had kissed a frog and been cursed. After our old principal suffered a stroke, she stepped in as a temporary replacement, and since becoming principal, had banned my favorite book series, colored shoe laces, and hamburger helper, even officiating a uniform.
(vomit green shorts and a tee, and plain white sneakers).
Kids were convinced she was a witch, and I kind of believed it.
Principal Marrow’s whole existence was built on sucking the fun out of school.
I was already reprimanded for my mystery gang flyers.
Her office smelled of peppermint and she was definitely sneaking sips of whisky in her coffee cup. I could see the bottle sticking out of the trash.
She straightened up, folding her arms across her chest, squinty eyes narrowing at the boy. I had spent the whole time she was lecturing me trying not to cry, my fists bunched in my lap.
I took the distraction as the perfect opportunity to swipe at my eyes, allowing myself to breathe.
Ben Callows was her victim now.
I was right. The woman's voice was like a thunderclap in my ears.
“You better have a good reason for not knocking, young man.”
Ben wasn't fazed by her tone. “You took my Switch two weeks ago,” he said, “I want it back, or I’m telling my Mom.”
At first, I thought I'd misheard him.
No, I was pretty sure he'd threatened our principal.
I swore I heard all of the breath sucked from the room.
“I'm sorry,” Principal Marrow cleared her throat. Her soft tone was dangerous.
She wasn't being nice. The lady was about to explode.
I could see visible veins straining in her temples, her right eye twitching.
It was straight out of a cartoon.
“Did you forget something, Ben?”
Ben sighed, like she was inconveniencing him.
He held out his hand. “Please can I have my Switch back? It counts as stolen property. Give it back, or I'm telling my Mom.”
The kid put so much emphasis on the word please, I couldn't resist a smile.
I think our principal was too shocked to get angry.
“Get out.” She said, firmly. “I don't have your gaming device.”
“It's in your drawer.” Ben nodded to her desk, “Under your divorce papers and the restraining order ordered by Jake Willow, the seventeen year old boy you've been having math ‘tutoring sessions’ with.” He quoted the air, his gaze lazily rolling to me. “Tutoring”
Principal Marrow went deathly pale, her eyes darkening.
“Benjamin Callows–”
“The school already knows about the restraining order, but your uncle is the head of the Board of Education, so all you get is a slap on the wrist and a warning to leave the boy alone."
Ben continued, and I found myself mesmerised by his words. He was a natural, his expression stoic, mouth curved with satisfaction that wasn't quite a smile. “However.” He held up his phone, pulling it away at the exact moment the teacher attempted to grab it. “You were outside Jake Willow’s house at 6:12am, drunk, and trying to climb through his window, which, I think violates the restraining order, does it not?”
Ben pretended to think real hard, his gaze flicking to the ceiling.
“I mean, I'm just a kid, right?” His mouth curled into the hint of a smirk
“What do I know, huh?”
Principal Marrow’s expression twisted, her lip wobbling.
“Mr Callows, remove yourself from my office, or I am calling your father.”
Leaning comfortably against the door, Ben’s lip twitched.
“Why? Are you planning on telling my Dad about your relations with a teenage boy, or will I have to tell him instead?”
I was enthralled, and fully disgusted, making a move to inch away from the woman.
“But it doesn't end there.” Ben continued. He straightened up, taking slow, intimidating steps towards the woman's desk. “You don't even want Jake, do you? Because, once upon a time, you were in love with his father. Jason Willow. You despised him for rejecting you, so you decided to defile his son.” Ben leaned over the principal’s desk, slipping his hand into the drawer, and pulling out his switch.
Painfully slowly.
She stood there, speechless, her shoulders trembling.
Ben smiled, and I found myself liking it.
“Thank you!” He said, waving the console in her face. Ben mimed locking his mouth and throwing away the key.
“My lips are sealed.”
Ben’s half lidded eyes found mine. “Are ya coming, Panda?”
I forgot my own nickname.
Panda.
I wore my Mom’s eyeliner because I thought it looked cool.
It did not.
Finding my breath, I snapped out of it.
Jumping up, I followed him out of the office, and when the two of us were safely on the hallway, I burst into hysterical giggles. “How did you know all of that?!” I whisper- shrieked.
Ben surprised me with a splutter. “Wait. You believed me?”
Something very cold trickled down my spine.
I stopped walking. “You lied?”
He shrugged. “I had a dig around her office before she caught me a few days ago,” Ben swung his arms, a smile curling on his mouth. “There's no restraining order, but there is prescription anti-psychosis medicine, and an extremely detailed story on her laptop about a teachestudent romance, which I presume is a self insert.”
Ben shot me a sickly grin. “The school refused to make her condition public.”
He prodded at his own cotton shirt embroidered with the school emblem.
“Why do you think she's made all these dumb rules? The woman is a certified Looney Tune.”
I nodded slowly. “Wait. What about Jake and his dad?”
“I made them up.”
I choked out a laugh. “And… the video?”
Ben walked faster, pulling out his phone and shoving it in my face. The video was real. Principal Marrow was walking around in circles, draped in her nightgown. “It's her own house,” he explained. “She locked herself out.”
Nodding slowly, I was in awe. Bloody Ben was kind of fucking amazing.
“But the restraining order isn't real.”
Ben raised a brow, coming to an abrupt halt. It was his smile that cemented his place in my gang. His lack of empathy for a woman he had gaslit into being a disgusting human being. Ben Callows wasn't exactly what I was looking for, but he fascinated me. Maybe for the wrong reasons. “Her filing cabinets are filled with tinned cat food, Panda,” he said with an exaggerated sigh, “I’m not psychic, but I thiiiiink we’ll be okay.”
I turned to him, unable to stop myself jumping up and down with excitement.
“Will you be my first?!”
Ben inclined his head. “Will I be your what?”
I shook my head. “Sorry. I mean, will you join my mystery gang?”
The boy’s eyes lit up, and I shoved him playfully.
“To solve real cases,” I corrected myself. “Not make them up.”
Ben wore a real, proper smile. But there was something in his eyes, a darkness that was so hollow and polluted and wrong, I pretended not to see it for the sake of his smarts and intellect. “Well, if you insist, sure!” Ben held out his hand, and I shook it. I'll be your first.”
We found our second member, who was, ironically, looking for her glasses under the table in class. Lucy Prescott, the quiet girl, was born to be with us.
The class eraser went missing, and she found it in the blink of an eye.
When questioned, Lucy’s face turned as red as her hair. “I asked everyone in the class and followed the clues to the last person who had it,” she pointed to Chase Simpson. “Which was Chase, who was throwing it at Marcus Calvin.”
Twisting around in my chair, I aimed to get Ben’s attention. But he was already looking at me, chin resting on his fist, eyes ignited with excitement.
The two of us cornered Lucy after class, and when she motioned for us to get back, I dragged Ben (who was a little too excited) to my side.
Lucy looked mildly horrified when I said, dangerous cases, though her expression pricked with intrigue.
She agreed, her gaze lingering on Ben, cheeks smouldering.
Our last two members were a surprise.
Violet Evergreen was what you would call popular on the middle school hierarchy. Not just because her mother was the mayor, but because Violet could get away with murder. The girl refused to wear the school uniform, coloring a single purple streak in her hair to cement herself as the it girl.
She was also one of the girls who started the Bloody Ben rumor.
Ben, Lucy, and I were sitting on the grass during recess, trying to come up with a name for our detective service, when Violet came storming over, hands planted on her hips. She was copying how her mother held herself during town meetings.
“What are you doing?” Violet demanded.
Lucy opened her mouth to answer, Ben nudging her to shut up.
“Making a mystery gang.” I told her. “Why?”
Violet inclined her head. “Oh.” She folded her arms. “Well, can I join?”
Ben stood up, stepping in front of the girl. Violet didn't move, stubbornly standing her ground. “Sure.” Ben flashed a grin that didn't quite reach his eyes. He stepped closer to her, his smile widening. “If you can pass the test.”
Violet’s lip curled. She took a single step back. “What kind of test?”
Ben nodded to me. “Meet us at the swimming pool at 8pm.”
To my surprise, Violet nodded. “Do I need to bring anything?”
“Nope!”
8pm. The four of us met outside the local swimming pool.
Violet was already on the other side of the fence, waving.
“Hey guys!”
I noticed Ben’s expression, his eyes darkening, lip curling.
Still though, he maintained positivity, vaulting over the fence.
“You made it!”
I followed him, helping Lucy, who was immediately freaking out. I didn't blame her. The pool looked cold and dark, a hollow oblivion carved into the ground.
Ben and Violet stood on the edge, the two of them shoulder to shoulder.
Violet Evergreen was braver than I thought.
Standing with her arms at her sides, Violet's hands clenched into fists.
“What's the test?” Violet said, her gaze glued to bleeding black depths.
“I don't know,” Ben murmured, his voice teetering on a giggle. He leaned forwards, arms spread out. “I didn't think you'd actually come meet us.”
Violet hummed, stretching out her leg, teasing it across the surface. “Was that the test?”
The boy leaned back. I caught the glint of a grin under the floodlights. “Nah.”
Before I knew what was happening, he shoved Violet into the pool. The girl didn't scream or shriek, she just hit the surface, sinking into pitch dark nothing.
“Sink or swim,” Ben said in a low murmur, when Violet’s head bobbed under water. I could see her shadow under the surface, imagining the freezing cold depths pulling her down.
“Drown, and you can't join us.”
It was so quiet, suddenly. The three of us staring into rippling water.
A minute passed, and my tummy started to twist.
“Fuck.” Ben’s expression stayed stoic. I wasn't expecting him to say a bad word.
He cocked his head. “I thought she could swim.”
I hit him, holding in a cry. “You need to get our parents!”
But he didn't listen to me, taking a single step, and dropping into the pool.
I fell to my knees, scanning the water.
Lucy was crying. “Are they dead?!” she shrieked.
“Shhh!” I was watching two shadows lingering under the water.
Violet broke through. I expected her to be crying, but her expression was unwavering. She was silent. I thought the splashing underneath her was her legs trying and struggling to tread water, before Lucy shoved me. Hard.
“Panda! What do we do?!”
Looking closer, Violet was perfectly still, her gaze on the sky.
While she shoved Ben under the water, drowning him.
Violet’s eyes sparkled, and somehow, I knew she belonged in my gang.
Her gaze found mine, glinting with that darkness, that poisonous streak I found myself drawn to. It was a starving, insatiable need to understand a fractured mind. Know your enemy.
“Do you want to see if Ben’s a witch?” Violet asked me, her tone something else entirely. This girl did not make sense, using barely her finger to drown Ben Callows. I knew she was wrong.
I knew there was something loose, something unlocked and unbridled and drowning inside her mind and heart.
But I wanted more of her. I wanted Violet Evergreen in my detective gang.
I think that is why I stood there, frozen.
When the thrashing stopped, Ben broke through.
He wasn't coughing or spluttering, his head inclined. “You didn't drown.”
Violet climbed out of the pool, offering her hand. “And you're not a witch.”
He declined her hand, taking the steps instead.
I asked Violet in a shaky voice. I was trembling with terror, but I was excited.
Exhilarated.
“Violet, will you join my gang?”
She didn't answer me until we were sharing hot cocoa in my house.
I told Mom we fell in the pool, and she believed me. I should have told her that my friends were sociopaths, and I was kind of maybe in love. Violet sipped her cocoa, nodding with a smile I didn't recognise. Violet never smiled at school.
Well, she did. But it was always the prick of a cruel smirk.
I don't think her smile was genuine, but she was definitely enjoying herself.
Our last member came to us, instead of finding him.
Jules Howell, a straggly brunette pushed his way in front of me in the lunch line. I didn't really know the kid.
He sat at the back of the classroom and slept through most of class. I did like his accent though.
Jules had moved from Melbourne in the second grade. He didn't talk much.
When he did, I found myself enveloped in his voice, which sounded like water to me, a bleeding cadence to his tone.
Jules piled his plate with fries, smiling widely at the lunch ladies.
“I saw you last night.” He murmured through that perfectly moulded grin.
“Saw me where?”
“At the pool,” Jules said. “You, Bloody Ben, Violet Evergreen, and that Lucy girl. You were doing a suiciding pact.”
“That's not what we were doing.” I said, “What's a suiciding pact?”
“When you kill yourself together.” Jules said. “I saw it in a scary movie my Mom was watching.”
I grabbed a fork. “We weren't doing that.”
His eyes were strange when I took the time to notice them. The excited gleam had fizzled out. Jules’s hands tightened around his tray. “Then what were you doing?”
I didn't reply, making my way over to our usual table. Ben was already waving me over, Violet and Lucy holding up the flyers we were making.
THE REDBLOOD DETECTIVES.”
Do YOU need our help? We can find/solve anything! Contact us on the number below. (We take donations!)
When I bothered turning around, Jules was lost in the crowd of kids.
We were on our first official case, searching for Mrs Lake’s missing mail, when Jules appeared seemingly out of nowhere. And with him, a golden retriever puppy he introduced as Arlo.
It took a dog jumping up at them for Violet and Ben to find their real smiles, their real selves slowly seeping through these facades they had built around themselves. Ben dropped to a crouch, ruffling the dog's ears, his smile faint.
“Who's a good boy?” He chuckled.
Arlo didn't move, tail wagging, eyes bright.
Ben motioned the dog towards him, but Arlo stayed put.
Jules joined us…quietly.
I don't remember asking him, or even him asking me.
He just became part of us, side by side with Arlo.
We soon came to quickly realize that our town was boring.
There were no monsters or thieves, or soul sucking demons. No criminals or serial killers. Not even one missing person. We did, however, get calls about missing cats. I turned eleven years old, patiently waiting for a murder or a kid going missing. But there was nothing.
All we did was chase cats, and the occasional dog. Maybe a budgie if we were lucky. Twelve years old, our detective club became a joke.
The five of us (and Arlo hiding under the table) were trying to pinpoint Mrs Tracy's lost hamster, when three girls came over, dumping their soda all over us.
We watched crime shows for inspiration on catching killers.
Ben’s favorite crime was one that happened in the 80’s in our town.
2 girls murdered.
Their intestines stuffed into envelopes and mailed to family members.
“That's what we should be solving,” he told me one night, “Not missing cats.”
Thirteen years old, we lay in Violet’s backyard under the cruel glare of the summer sun. We called it working and didn't like to admit it was hanging out, or that we were even friends. However.
That didn't stop us growing closer.
Even if it wasn't quite the way I’d expected.
I proposed a plan, standing up, wobbling a little off balance.
“I've got it.” I said, my voice kinda slurry from Violet’s special summer cocktail, which was just random alcoholic beverages we found, thrown into a blender, and diluted with water.
The town wasn't taking us seriously.
So, we were going to make our own mysteries.
I ordered a full-scale assault on our small town. One that they could not ignore. Ben stamped on Mrs Mason’s flowers, and Lucy threw mud pies at people's cars. Jules trashed the high school gym, and Violet and I spray painted threats and warnings on every store window. Now, this did cause panic, but also an official curfew.
Thirty minutes before curfew, we met in our usual spot, deep in the forest near the lake. Ben yelled at me when I was three minutes late. He was real passionate about finding a real mystery.
“You're late.” Ben was sitting on a rock waving a stick in Arlo’s face.
The dog still wasn't going near him, whining softly.
I took my place, muttering an apology. “I had to lie to my Mom.”
Violet, sitting with her legs crossed, idly digging her manicure into the dirt, suggested we buy mannequins and masquerade them as dead bodies, hanging them from the school rafters.
Lucy, who had slowly grown out of her shell, becoming a lot more outspoken, nudged her. “That's a stupid idea.”
The girl groaned, leaning into her. “Urgh. You're right.”
Jules was the only energetic one, standing on the tireswing.
He jumped down, definitely twisting his ankle.
But his smile only widened, kind of like he enjoyed being in pain.
“Why don't we pretend to be kidnapped?” He said, pulling the hood of his sweatshirt over blondish curls growing out. Jules did a dramatic spin, his eyes shining. “We can ‘go missing’ for like a week, and then when our parents are really scared, we can turn up, and tell them we escaped a kidnapping.” His lips split into a grin.
“And then we solve our own kidnapping!”
Ben awkwardly patted Arlos head, only for the dog to pull away with a snort.
“I like it,” he murmured. “I'm in.”
Jules’s idea was stupid.
But.
It was worth a shot.
The five of us agreed to meet the morning after with enough food and supplies for a week. Then we were going to hike to the next town, and hide out for a week. It was an almost perfect plan, using ourselves as victims of our own mystery.
Packing as much as I could, I kissed my mother goodbye (I told her my pack was for a picnic) and set off to the rendezvous we agreed on.
When I arrived, I was the first one there. I checked and re-checked my pack.
I waited ten minutes, unable to contain my excitement.
Then 20 minutes.
It was getting kind of cold.
One hour.
I sat on a rock for enough time to watch the sky change color.
When the clouds were orange, I stood up and stumbled back home. They had gone without me. Mom lectured me when I got home, and I stuck to the plan of pretending my friends had gone missing, even if I they had betrayed me.
Ben said he'd text me when he arrived at the redervous. I at least expected him to text an explanation, but there was nothing. I was in the dark, and after three days of nothing, our town finally began to take us seriously.
“Our children have been kidnapped!” The adults were screaming.
Mom was crying in the kitchen, praying to a god I knew she didn't believe in that I wasn't taken next. I was interviewed and stuck with the exact same story I came up with when I was with the others. Our plan was to return after a week, claiming to be locked up in a dark room with a masked man.
I told my Mother and the other parents that I didn't know where my friends were, repeating the same thing over and over again until I was tongue tied.
“I saw them the day before they went missing, and… yes, everything seemed okay.” I slowly sipped my glass of milk provided, looking the sheriff directly in the eyes.
“No, I didn't notice anything suspicious, sheriff. Yes, I'm sure, sir. No, they didn't tell me anything.”
It was Ben’s mother who shattered my mask.
“Did I know about… what?” I whispered.
Something warm filled the back of my mouth, foul tasting milk erupting up my throat. I leaned forward, trying to look Mrs Callows in the eye. “No, I… I didn't know about Ben’s…condition.”
Mrs Callows was screaming at me about her son’s troubled past when I barfed all over myself, my eyes burning.
In the privacy of my own room, I sobbed until I couldn't breathe.
I tried to tell Mom, but we had come so close.
One more day, and the others would be back.
But that day came. I sat cross legged at our usual spot, which was now covered in police tape. I waited for their thudding footsteps, their laughter congratulating each other for coming up with a great plan. I waited, my face buried in my knees, for my friends.
It was dark when my phone vibrated, and I'd fallen asleep.
I wasn't scared, forcing myself to my feet.
“Where are you?” Mom yelled down the phone.
“Coming home now.” I muttered.
“Sorry.” I paused, holding my breath against a cry. “Mom.” I broke down, forcing my fist into my mouth to hide my squeak. “Mommy, did they come back?”
Mom didn't reply for a moment.
“I'm so sorry, baby.” She whispered, ending the call.
I took my time walking home that night.
There were no stars in the sky.
When a hand clamped over my mouth, I could smell him.
When he dragged me back, stabbing a kitchen knife into my throat, I stared at the sky and looked for stars. His arms were warm around me, violently pulling me into the back of a pickup truck. The pickup truck he'd said he was bringing.
It was his grandfather's, and he could just about drive it.
Hitting the backseat, my body was numb, my thoughts in a whirlwind.
The pickup flew forwards, and I remembered how to move.
I rolled off the seat, my hands pinned behind my back.
Twisting around, blinking in the dim, I could feel something warm, something seeping across upholstery seats. Blood.
It was everywhere, sticky on my hands and wet on my face when I struggled to get up. I was lying in someone's blood.
A scream clawed its way out of my throat.
The pickup flew over a pothole, and something dropped off the seat.
Arlo’s leash.
I screamed again, this time his name gritted between my teeth.
I didn't stop screaming until the jerking movement stopped. The doors opened, pale light hitting me in the face.
Flashlight. Warm arms wrapped around me, pulling me from the car, and then, pulling me by my hair, into our old tree house. It was always our secret place, our saving grace on the edge of town.
The flickering candlelight caught me off guard, illuminating my surroundings.
Two bodies slumped over each other, lying in stemming red.
I felt suffocated, like I was going to die. I screamed, and that warm hand cradled my mouth again, gagging my cries.
Violet and Jules.
There was something wrong with them. And it was only when I forced myself to look closer, when I realized their insides had been carved out, heart, stomach, everything, pulled out.
There was paper on the floor.
No, not paper. Envelopes.
Envelopes stuffed with gore, bright red leaking through white.
Shuffling back, my brain was too slow to react, while my body was trying to vault to my feet, only to be violently pulled back by my ponytail.
I felt his fingers twining around my hair, revelling in my screams.
With another tug, my head was forced forwards.
Orange candlelight felt almost homely, this time lighting up a third body.
Lying on their back, curled up, pooling scarlet dried into the floorboards, their wrists restricted with duct-tape.
I could feel blood underneath me, sticky, a congealing paste.
“Do you know what happened on October 3rd, 1987, in our town?”
Lucy Prescott stood over me, her arms folded across her chest.
I managed to shake my head, when she grabbed Ben’s legs, dragging him under the candlelight. I dazedly watched her stroke the blade of a carving knife, the teeth already stained scarlet. “The intestine murders.” Lucy hummed, tracing the knife down the floorboards.
“A man murdered two high school girls, carving out their insides and sending their pieces to their loved ones.”
Lucy's eyes found mine, ignited in a familiar gleam. I saw it in Principal Marrow’s office. Then the swimming pool. The cafeteria. “It was the sheriff's only murder case, Panda. Ever since then, our town has been boring. There's no mysteries to solve. Nothing to find.”
The girl jumped to her feet, retrieving a blood stained envelope.
She held it up, a smile curved on her lips. The girl turned around, and I heard a horrific squelching sound. Lucy held up a bright red sausage, ripped into it, and slipped it into the white paper.
“But I can change that.” she said, in a giggle.
“I can create a real serial killer, who we can hunt down together.”
Lucy stabbed the blade into the floor, laughing.
“Or! I can bring a fan-favorite back! I can bring the intestine killer back from the dead!”
Her gaze flicked to the others. “There are casualties, of course. The story is, I was kidnapped with Ben, Violet, and Jules. The scary intestine killer killed them, and I managed to get away.”
Lucy shuffled over to me, her eyes wide. “Then! He came back and struck again!”
With those words, she shoved me onto my back.
“First he took Violet,” Lucy hummed, tracing the blade down my shirt.
“Then… Jules.” I squeezed my eyes shut, pulling at the restraints around my wrists. “Then Ben.” her breath tickled my cheek. “And finally… Panda.”
Lucy lifted the knife, and I accepted my death.
Until a low rumble in my ears.
Shouting.
Thundering footsteps, followed by the pitter-patter of paws.
“Lucy!” The sheriff was screaming, and the girl stumbled to her feet, the knife slipping from her fingers. Lucy stumbled, tripping over Ben’s body.
“He got away!” she shrieked. “He…he killed them! Oh, god, please help me!”
I don't think Lucy even realised the traces she'd left behind.
The blood slick on her fingers, her manic, grinning smile full of mania.
I was looking for stars when an officer crouched over me.
I couldn't understand what she was saying.
Her voice was white noise.
“Rachel? Hey, try and sit up, honey. You Mom is on her way.”
Instead of listening to her, I curled into myself.
My gaze found Arlo sticking his nose in Ben’s hair, trying to nudge the boy awake.
I didn't fully register the next few days.
They went by in a confusing blur.
Part of me tried to eat, and spent hours with my head pressed against the toilet seat.
I could still see the slithering, scarlet remains of my friends every time I closed my eyes. There was so much red, soaked in that hunting orange light.
Blood that I could still see, a starless sky that stretched on forever.
Weeks went by.
Then months.
I think I turned 14. I wasn't sure. I didn't feel alive anymore.
I stood at my friend’s funerals with a single rose I dropped into their casket.
Violet’s mother was quick to cover the whole thing up.
Lucy's plan didn't work after all.
Our town’s murder cases stayed stagnant at one.
It's been four years since my friends were murdered by our ’Velma’.
Now, at seventeen, Mom asked if I wanted to visit Lucy in juvie.
I'm not even upset or angry anymore.
I want to know why.
Ben picked me up. Arlo was at his side, wagging his tail.
Ben was…different. He'd dumped his baseball cap and gotten a haircut, swapping his old wardrobe of drab colors for an attempt at changing style.
That day, he looked awkward in a short sleeved tee and shorts.
At school, Ben is no longer Bloody Ben.
Now, he is Survivor Ben.
I’m still Panda.
Every time I was with him, I felt like my soul was being sucked out.
Guilt so deep, so fucking painful, I lost my breath.
I live knowing that I immediately assumed it was him that day.
Ben was barely alive when I found him. Lucy had started to carve into him before remembering she needed me.
After admitting it to him, his lips formed a small smile.
“Can I tell you a secret?” He said to me, at sixteen.
"Yeah?"
Whatever he was going to say, Ben never told me.
Presently, I nodded at the dog’s new collar.
“Peppa Pig themed?”
The boy shrugged, ruffling Arlo’s ears. “FYI, he chose it.”
“It's cute.” I said. “Very… chic.”
We didn't speak the whole ride, but Ben did entangle his hand in mine.
We spent half an hour outside the detention centre. I was panicking, and Ben was trying to hide that he was panicking. In the end, we joined hands, and strode through the doors together.
Lucy greeted us with a wide smile. Just as psychotic.
The orange jumpsuit suited her, though I had zero idea why.
“Hey Arlo!” she giggled at the dog, and Ben pulled the pup onto his lap.
“Ben.” She sighed. “I wish I got to finish you. I would have loved to solve the mystery of your gutted corpse.”
Ben’s smile was wry. “Nice to see you too.”
Behind a glass screen, I asked Lucy one simple question.
“Why?”
Lucy didn't reply. Or she did, but it was just nonsensical bullshit.
But there was one thing she said has stuck with me, chilling me to the core.
I am fucking terrified of Lucy. Of what's she's done, and what she's capable of doing.
It was a throwaway line, and I don't even think Ben noticed.
Or he did, and was in denial.
Lucy's smile was wide, her eyes empty pools of nothing.
The exact same glint in Ben’s eyes.
Jules’s eyes.
Violet’s eyes.
Like something was gnawing away at their psyche, twisting and contorting it, filling them with darkness, poison, that was so vast, so endless, I had craved it as a child. I still don't know what it is.
But I'm going to find it.
Lucy's laugh was shrill, and next to me, Ben didn't move a muscle.
But he did smile.
Yes, my gang were psychos.
But I kind of maybe loved it.
“I don't even wear glasses!”

And honestly, I (32/M) don’t know why I even still call him (39/M) a friend, let alone a best friend, anymore after this fiasco.
For context, I’ve known this guy - we’ll call him J - since 2011. We went to college together (not a 4 yr university, long story). Since then, we’d hung out a lot and often just go out for beers every week since his favorite thing to do is apparently to frequent breweries. He’s a little awkward, sure, not sure if he’s on the spectrum or anything, but I like him and he’s alright company. We’ll drink and laugh about stupid shit whenever we go out.
Last April, we went on a little bro-cation to our nation’s capital (Washington DC) and this was a trip we’d been planning for like 2 or 3 years and something we’d always wanted to do. Of course, I took the lead on planning all the logistics because I know for a fact I can’t trust him to do any of that (he’s not particularly savvy with all that, fair enough). So I get us a hotel room for 3 nights and put most of our expenses on my credit card. Mind you, at the time, it wasn’t a great time for me to keep loading my credit card up as I was 11k in credit card debt but hell I’m young. Sue me. I wanted to have fun and I wanted us to have fun so I decided to take the hit, who cares, live a little. Plus, it had been ages since we’d taken a trip - 2 years prior, we’d gone to Atlanta for 3 days and since then he’d gotten married and joined some amateur rock band so we hadn’t traveled in quite a bit.
Anyway, before this DC trip, I got verbal agreements from him several times during the planning of all this that he agreed to pay me back for half of the hotel room. Great!
So we take our trip and enjoy every second and live a little. When we got back home, I’d given him the amount he’d need to pay me back, bout $400+, and told him just pay me back as quickly as you can. I’ll be patient.
He gets paid bi-weekly on his hourly job (I have one too but I get paid slightly more than he does). He’d actually gotten paid the 2nd day we were in DC (but his rent was due that day).
He pays me $120.00 the week after we get back. Sure, I’ll take it. Cool. Was expecting a little more than that but fine.
A couple weeks later, $100. Ooookay. Now I’m getting pissed. I’m literally feeling like I’m being disrespected.
Today, almost 3 weeks later, I texted him to ask him to pay me back the rest of the $201 and some change he owes me.
I’ve copied the texts and put them here since this subreddit won’t allow me to post images :( It went as follows:
J - Yeah mid June. I just payed rent muthfucka
Me - Wow. Dude what do you think I'm doing tomorrow? I'm paying rent too. That's not a valid excuse. You think I have a disposable income or something? Look, I'm only going to explain this here and now but I need you to understand that it was not convenient for me to pay all that money for us to go on vacation in April but I did anyway because you're my best friend and we deserved to have a great time. And before that I told you it wasn't a good time for me to spend a lot of money because I was loaded with debt but the point is I spent anyway regardless of that. You literally agreed several times to cover half of those expenses before the trip. I see what you're doing, man, and I'm sorry but it's not cool and I want you to know that. You've been trying to delay this as long as possible because I'm apparently not a priority to you. What the fuck, J? We've known each other for like 11 years and this is the thanks get? And like I understand you're not well off financially either but you're literally only thinking about yourself now and that's just disrespectful. What happened to you? Cause you definitely used to not be this way.
By this time, it’s been almost 2 months since the trip.
I wasn’t expecting to get a response but he comes back with this:
J - Ok I'm putting in 100. Up to u if u wanna hang
Me - That's fine, man. I just don't want you to feel like I'm not acknowledging you're short on cash because I do. Neither of us are financially well off but it's about not being a bad friend. Anyway, we can still hang out today if you want but I'm honestly a little upset with you. I'll be patient and wait til your next payday if you're really that short on cash but something's gotta give, man.
So I leave my apartment and get onto the road. I get a text halfway through the drive to meet him at a brewery:
Bank app says $50 was sent to me. Half what he promised only minutes ago.
The fuck??!
I still agree to meet up with him. We get pretty hammered tonight and when I get back home, I jokingly text him there better be a good reason he only sent me half. This motherfucker fires back with “you’re welcome”. Like, are you fucking kidding me??? Continuing to disrespect me like that?
So yeah, that’s what super pissed me off today. Just wanted to share.

Does anyone remember the name of that one japanese band that like covered the entirety of Portamento but in japanese (I think). I'm beginning to feel like this came from a fever dream but I could've swore it was a japanese band with a similar name to The Drums but I can't find anything on google bc the searches are too vague. Someone help me out and I'm sorry if I sound crazy or I'm posting this in the wrong place..... OH they even ripped off the Portamento album cover.

TW ⚠️

For privacy reasons, I’ll call my daughter Ava and my brother Jack.
On Thursday evening, 2 days ago, I (23F), had gone over to my parents house to visit my daughter. She is only 18 months old (1 year and 6 months). She has been living with my parents for the past 6 months due to my unstable mental health. It was agreed between us, and a social worker, that my daughter would reside with them until I get better. I only live a two minute walk away from my parents house, which is extremely convenient because it means I’m only around the corner from my daughter. On the 23rd of May (last week), I had a breakdown and ended up in A&E after overdosing and expressing that I wanted to end my life. A couple days later, slowly, my mood started to improve. I decided to get up out of bed and have a productive day, as prior to this I just stayed locked up in my apartment crying endlessly. I went to the gym, came home and ate, then decided to visit my daughter as I hadn’t seen her in about 3 days.
I open the door to my parents house, and walk into the living room. The house was really quiet, usually my daughter is in the living room watching TV or playing with her toys (all of her toys are in the living room). I walk into the dining room, and my dad is sat by the computer. I say hi, then go upstairs. I go into my sisters room and ask her where my daughter is and she tells me that she is in my brothers room, so that’s where I head next. I’ve never really liked the fact that my brother brings Ava into his room, because it is extremely small. There is no room for my daughter to run around and play, it’s a very confined space. Anyways, I open the door and my daughter comes over to me. She’s fully dressed and seems fine, but then I look up and notice that my brother is sat down on a chair by his desk, with his pants pulled all the way down by his ankles, a bowl of food in one hand (feeding my daughter) and his phone in the other… it seemed as though he was on a phone call. Anyways, I ask him if he is feeding her (stupid question as I can see the bowl of her food in his hand - I was just in shock at what else I was seeing and didn’t even know what to say at this point). He says “yeah”, stands up and hands me the bowl, walks back to the seat and pulls his pants up. I leave the room with my daughter to go downstairs. I sit down, continue feeding her for about a minute, until what I just witnessed starts to really sink in. I put the food down and take her outside into the garden, because I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Once outside I start breaking down with panic at a complete loss on what to do or think.
The thing is, I’ve had a bad feeling about my brother for a while. Something about his presence around my daughter makes me feel uneasy. He hasn’t necessarily done anything substantial (apart from what I saw on Thursday) to warrant this feeling, it was always just a gut instinct. Prior to this I’d observed that he is very affectionate towards my daughter, but this could have been interpreted as him being a good, attentive uncle. I didn’t exactly see it that way, something just seemed a bit amiss. I thought maybe I was just being paranoid though, so I asked my ex (the father, and partner at the time) to observe my brother around my daughter and let me know if he gets the same feeling I do. His feedback was basically along the lines of “I can sort of see why you would be concerned, he is quite close to her, but I just think your brother is a bit weird. He’s not like your usual typical guy. He clearly has a softer side, maybe because he grew up with only sisters. I don’t think he necessarily means any harm, it’s a big allegation and he hasn’t done anything to indicate that level of thinking. Also, Ava is a very young baby, not saying babies don’t get targeted, but usually paedophiles go after children who are a bit older like toddler age.” Even though I kept that response in mind, I still didn’t really feel comfortable with leaving my daughter around my brother, (she was about 7 months old at the time and still living with me), so I stopped letting her stay at my parents house unless I was present too. My mom noticed this and asked me “how come we haven’t seen Ava in a while? I’d love to babysit whilst you go out, we all miss her, especially Jack!” Around this time I had a really vivid nightmare, it was so bad that when I woke up I felt physically sick, it almost bought me to tears. I can’t remember what exactly had happened in the dream because this was almost a year ago now, but it was involving inappropriate sexual behaviour from my brother towards my daughter. I told my mom that I had a bad dream, and that’s why I didn’t want to bring my daughter around anymore. My mom is quite spiritual, I grew up in a Christian household so it’s not uncommon for dreams to have meaning to us. Anyways, she kept asking me what the dream was, but I didn’t tell her because…. How do I even begin to ?????!
To be a bit more specific on why I became suspicious of brother - he used to ask to see pictures of her, offer to change her nappy, and just jump at any opportunity help with her. It struck me as odd, because he seemed more interested in her than my other two siblings (17yrs and 13yrs, both girls). I don’t know who would offer to change a babies dirty nappy, especially a 19 year old male. Even Ava’s own father would want to back out of changing her dirty nappies!! I also recall one time when Ava was sat on my brothers lap, playing with the drawstrings on his joggers. Her hand was basically in the reigon of his groin area whilst she was playing with the strings, and he just sat there and watched her. This made me feel very uncomfortable so I picked her up.
There was also one other occasion in particular that stood out to me and struck me as odd. Last year July, I was at my parents house visiting with my daughter. I was playfully showing her how to play the keyboard, when my brother approached me and held his arms out to take her. “I want to see her!” he said. I let him take her, but made a mental note in my mind that after 5 minutes, I was going to go and check on her. Something told me that I wouldn’t find them in the living room, (I was sat in the dining room with her at the time, which is adjacent to the living room) and I was right. I got up, opened the door to the living room and yep, just as I had suspected they weren’t there. It’s weird because like I mentioned earlier, it’s where she usually plays. There is limited access to hazards in there and in addition to that there is the TV and space for her to run around (well crawl at that point in time) and play. I go upstairs, and I find my brother in my parents room, in the dark (lights turned off, curtains closed) holding Ava with one arm and his phone in the other. I ask him what he’s doing and he says he is putting her for a nap. I take her from him and go back downstairs. Bare in mind this was probably around 2pm, it wasn’t her nap time, she wasn’t even living with my parents at that point. She was perfectly fine in my arms playing with the keyboard, why did my brother randomly decide to take her upstairs for a nap?
I’m not close with my brother, and I don’t live with my family, so I can’t give much detail on his personality or habits. What I do know, is that he is very reserved. He spends a lot of time isolated in his room, and when we are all together as a family watching TV or just talking in general, he isn’t involved. If we ever go out together, he doesn’t come. He chooses to just stay in his room. Something about his aura, even when he isn’t around my daughter, makes me feel uneasy. I don’t really talk to him, if we do it’s only a short exchange.
Anyways, given what happened on Thursday, the police has been notified. What had happened was, I took my daughter back to my apartment (which then alarmed my family because due to my mental health there is a rule in place that I’m not supposed to be alone with Ava without another adult present). I called a good friend of mine, told him what I had witnessed, and asked him to meet me at my apartment ASAP to ensure that I was adhering to the rules. During this time, my brother showed up at my apartment, and told me to the open the door or he’d call the police. I didn’t want to engage with him in any way, shape or form so I told my friend (we’ll call him Sam) to call my brother and let him know that he didn’t need to be there because he was on his way and therefore I wouldn’t be alone with her. After this my brother left, and when Sam arrived I called my ex and told him what I saw. My ex doesn’t live in the same city anymore (he’s about 8 hours away) so there isn’t much he can really do, but obviously he was furious and very disturbed. My sister (17yrs) keeps calling my phone because she’s worried as to why I left the house with Ava, so I tell her to come over to my apartment, and upon her arrival I told her what I saw and she was in shock. I asked her if she had ever witnessed any strange behaviour from my brother prior to this, and she said no, but that he does bring Ava up to his room sometimes.
Sam phones my mother (who is at work) and explains the situation. My mom tells us that she’s leaving work, and to wait until she gets here to discuss this further with my brother. My mom was working in a different city about an hour away, and the plan was for my dad to go and pick her up. My ex didn’t like this idea and says we need to call the police ASAP. Sam, my sister and I decide to call my brother and confront him. I call him, and before I can say anything, he says “Hi, so I know what’s going on, mom just called me and told me. I can’t believe you’d think that. I know what it looks like, but it’s not that.”
My response was - “so you’re admitting that you were feeding her in your room with your pants pulled all the way down???!” He confirmed that’s what I saw, and then said something along the lines of not wanting Ava to touch his pants because she’d get them dirty. I know that’s bullshit, because Ava wasn’t even picking up the food. My brother was feeding her with a spoon, so how could she get his pants dirty if she wasn’t even touching the food? If he didn’t want his pants to get dirty, why didn’t he take them off completely and put something else on? Why not put a towel or muslin cloth over your lap? Nothing about his response is adding up in my mind.
I end the call with him because at this point I feel sick to my stomach, and I call the police. My mom arrives a while later, and shortly after her arrival a police officer shows up. Whilst he is questioning us, other officers turn up at my parents house and arrest my brother. They took my daughters clothes and my brothers phone, and questioned him the following day. He was released yesterday under police bail, and is not allowed to return to my parents house within the next 3 months. He has been sent to live with a relative about an hour away. The official date that he is allowed to leave and come back, is actually on my birthday.
Based on the interview they had with my brother, the police have said that they won’t be carrying out a physical examination on my daughter. I’m glad in a way, because I know it would have probably been very invasive, and I don’t particularly think they are going to find any evidence on her, because when I entered the room she was fully dressed. My concern is what he could have been potentially getting her to do to him, if you catch my drift. I strongly think that they should investigate his devices. They still have his phone, however his laptop was left at my parents house. My mom said that she would ask my brother for the password to the laptop, so that we can look through it for my peace of mind. Apparently my brother refused to this, and as I write this my mother is currently on her way to visit my brother and give him is laptop.
As you can imagine, this whole situation is very unsettling. Tensions are elevated, and there is a blatant vibe of awkwardness in the house. My mother has made it clear that she is disappointed with me for not notifying her first and contacting the authorities. She’s worried that this is going to go on my brother’s record and ruin his future, along with any possibility of him finding employment. Whilst I can understand that it is upsetting to even think that your son could be capable of POTENTIALLY doing something so outrageous, I feel as though she isn’t understanding how I feel. Given the circumstances I believe that my brother should be open to giving the password for his laptop up to put my mind at ease, but according to my mom he isn’t open to this idea because he’s angry with me. I know his laptop is his own private property… but in this situation, I personally would be more concerned about proving my innocence than breaching my privacy.
If we are being honest, I don’t even want to go through the laptop - that was my mother’s idea. Since my mom had informed my brother about everything, he had at least a good 2 hours to delete anything incriminating on the laptop, IF there was even anything on there to begin with. I think the laptop should be handed over to the authorities so that they can search it, because they can recover deleted files if needs be. But my mother has decided to give it my brother because ‘it’s his only means of communicating with her’ since the police have his phone. I pointed out that that isn’t necessarily true, because I overheard her talking to him earlier on phone (he was calling from the relatives phone) and she got frustrated with me. I also overheard her speaking with her friend on the phone last night, and she was asking her friend for advice on whether or not she should give the laptop to the police or just keep it. Her friend told her to keep it, because ‘if the police needed it they would have taken it in the first place’.
My mother isn’t being totally transparent with me either, because she initially tried to make it seem as though she hadn’t asked my brother for the password at all, but my sister pointed out that she had. I feel as though my mother is feeling sorry for my brother and wanting to make him feel as comfortable as possible whilst he is away at our relatives house, but she isn’t thinking about how disturbing it was for me to walk in and see my daughter in a small enclosed room with him, sat on a chair with his pants pulled all the way down. My brother is a 20 year old man that knows right from wrong. He even admitted on the phone that ‘he knows what it looked liked’ from my perspective. Everybody knows that what I saw was odd, no matter the context. My daughter is only 18 months old, she can’t defend herself or speak up for herself. She is only just learning her first words. So why does it seem like majority of my family only have my brother’s best interests at heart?
I understand that I could be wrong, maybe I did misread the situation. Maybe I did jump to conclusions based on my prior suspicions. Maybe he is innocent... and if that’s the case I will apologise for putting him through the ordeal of being arrested. I did make it clear to the police that I wasn’t accusing my brother of rape, all I did was report everything that I saw and express my concern. Based on how my mother and some other family members are acting, I’m starting to doubt myself and question if I did the right thing. It’s a very confusing time right now, and I’m not sure what the outcome of all of this will be. What I know for certain is, I’ve definitely caused a rift in the family, and we probably won’t recover from this. I never really had a relationship with my brother before this, but it will definitely be very awkward going forward - we’ll probably never have one. I’m not sure what to do, think or feel. If anything, this has been a wake up call. I know now that suicide isn’t an option, I have to be here for my daughter. I’m all she has, and I need to be by her side to ensure she is safe. I feel incredibly guilty because if anything has happened to her whilst under my parents care, it’s my fault. I had my suspicions, I even went as far as to order a mini camera to place in my brothers room months ago, but I never went through with it. If I wasn’t so busy being depressed and self-destructive, she would have still been living with me, and none of this would have happened. My parents say that my daughter will probably be removed from the house and put into care because of everything that has happened. The idea of this worries me.
I’d like to know what anyone thinks of this situation… do you think I was just being paranoid this whole time about my brother? Or is there grounds for concern? Where do I go from here?
Thanks for reading this far and sorry for any typos or grammatical mistakes!
*side-note, I can’t say for certain if my brother was wearing boxers or not. I didn’t see any around his ankles where his pants were, and when he stood up his shirt was covering that area.

Cannibal had made up his mind a few moves ago: If this kid doesn't swing this chair, doesn't absolutely fuckin' nail me, then he's getting taxed, and big time.
The kid's name is Rob Small, and he's supposedly some hot-shot rookie fresh out of the local school. But Cannibal doesn't get it. Everything about the kid bugs him, right down to the name. The sport lost something when people stopped calling themselves ridiculous things, like 'The Big' this, or 'Ultimate' that.
And besides, it's a dirty trick. It's too easy, just like everything the new kids are doing. It's almost too real. And the audience doesn't want real. They only think they do. Cannibal knows this better than just about anyone.
Cannibal feels that he's been carrying them both since the bell. Again, it's this new, soft shit. Flipping, and posing, and nobody wants a single scratch on their pretty mugs. The word fake doesn't exist in this business, but as Rob winds up for another one of his little tricks, all flare, no impact, you can kind of see where people get that idea.
Cannibal takes a knee, then another, but wide, because that's how you take a real hit. Rob pulls the chair back.
"Don't fuck this up," Cannibal says.
The blade of the chair just grazes Cannibal's eyebrow, opening two inches of scar tissue, and perforation.
This is good. Unintentional, but good.
The crowd isn't theirs yet, but the stream of blood pulls a few people forward and gets them almost leaning into the next row down.
The blood is good, no doubt about it. But the sound of skull on steel would've lit them on fire, and that's just science.
Rob moves to the ropes, taking a squeaky-clean moment to acknowledge the crowd. He waves his arms around like he's leading a marching band or something, and it "earns" him a small pop of recognition.
Here's the problem- there's no story here. No tale of the tape. Just some rookie nobody cares about, and an aging prick that people care even less about. This is when every move is supposed to count. Not just every move, but every transition, every facial expression too. The kid's athletic, sure. But so is everybody. He doesn't have the rhythm yet, and his nose is too straight. And Cannibal is tired of carrying this match.
Cannibal starts back on his feet, quickly, counter-intuitively, like a jump scare. The kid's finally connecting with the crowd now, lifting the chair like some intramural trophy. But it's too little, too late, and Cannibal sees his opportunity.
First Cannibal snatches the chair, up, and behind Rob, then steadies his giant, calloused fingers with a well-timed exhale. He whirls Rob around, ready or not, and drives the lip of the chair into the liver side of his waist, which folds him directly in two. The crowd chatters a bit, but he isn't finished.
Cannibal throws the chair less than a foot away, then sets up the move that's going to win the crowd.
He didn't invent the move, not even close. It's not even particularly uncommon. But he made his name off this move. Here's some wisdom from the old school: There are precious few people who make money from this business by looking good. And if you can't look good, you need to look vicious.
Cannibal hooks his arms under Rob's armpits, then wrenches both arms so violently that the triceps almost touch. Operating on pure panic, and instinct, Rob's legs unwind, independently searching for a better position, but never finding it.
"Hey, easy up there," Rob says from somewhere near Cannibal's midsection, but he may as well be speaking to the mat now.
Cannibal wrenches Rob's arms again, but this time the triceps touch for one moment of searing pain. He does this half for show, and half as a warning to keep quiet during his finisher. He looks out at the crowd, and their features form for the first time since he entered the arena. Before then, they were nothing, just a wallpaper pattern of merch, and facial hair. There's a difference between the individual faces in the first row, and the voice that fills the venue, and guides your match.
A single fan can be wrong, but a crowd never is.
But Cannibal takes some of that power back now, and he's staring at the crowd, the entity, right in the face, starting with the first row.
The first few faces that he locks eyes with are rabid, their eyes wild with anticipation. They're gesticulating wildly, like they can't believe, or can't wait for what's coming next. The next face is a little boy who shies away and looks at his dad for help. He scans about a seating section and a half, screaming spittle-seasoned insults along the way.
Mid-taunt, before anybody can count it off, Cannibal hits his finisher, The Flesh Eater.
Cannibal pushes off the toes of his boots, about a foot into the air, bringing Rob's craned arms with him. That's why you really need to wrench. With Rob feeling real pain at each arm's socket, he has no choice but to sell. At the height of his jump, Cannibal shoots his legs straight out in a wide V, unclenching his ass for a nice, cushioned landing.
Rob's face hits the chair a microsecond before Cannibal's legs, and underside absorb the remainder of the blow. It's enough to make the aluminum ring out into the high warehouse ceiling and put a pretty little face-sized dent in the seat.
The crowd reacts with screams, with horror, with finally, some fucking emotion.
Cannibal climbs to his feet, while the lights flick on-and-off, on-and-off in Rob's eyes. Rob props himself on his palms, and knees, finding the floor he wasn't even looking for.
But he loses it again with a big, booted punt to the ribs. The crowd boos now from every direction.
This is good. It means that right now, they hate Cannibal. It means that when they go home, they'll remember how much they hated him. It means that he did his job.
Cannibal takes a victory lap around the ring while Rob writhes in presumably authentic agony. Cannibal leans over the top rope, pointing at the front row again, dissolving the boundary between them. He's screaming at a fan. He may even be screaming at one hundred fans when he notices a face that shouldn't be in attendance.
Was it section B? He looks over but can't find the face anymore.
He darts his eyes wildly, unfocusing them so that the crowd transforms into nothing but eyebrows, and merch, approval, and disgust.
He glances back toward Section B, right around where he thinks he saw the face, right as Rob crawls from behind, hooks his leg, and rolls him into a three count.
Both men roll onto their backs; Rob, because the pain from his neck, down to his waist puts him there. Cannibal, because he's defeated and confused.
Had he really seen that face? He knows he hadn't. One, because that would make no sense. And two, because, and he only saw it for a second, but the face was significantly younger than it should have been. About 20 years younger. Which would put it right around a time that he doesn't think, or speak about. Cannibal decides that he didn't see the face after all. He doesn't believe in ghosts. Especially not ghosts that haven't even died.
***
Cannibal collects his pay, and the doc plugs up his gash, in that order. He's got a show in a bigger market tomorrow, so the butterfly stitches just need to hold until then.
He unlaces his boots in the parking lot, then trades them for some once-white Adidas from the back seat of his gray Toyota Camry. Then he thinks about the ghost again. The one that he didn't see, the one that isn't even dead as far as he knows.
He stands still in his untied sneakers and thumbs a few reps through his social pages. If he had died, the news would have picked it up by now. An old friend would have even messaged,
"Here if you need to talk." Or, "It's not your fault"
Something like that, anyway. But Cannibal doesn't see anything, no messages, neither of their names gracing, or disgracing any headlines. And besides, that doesn't exactly solve the issue at hand. Maybe the kids are right, he thinks. I've officially taken too many blows to the skull.
For twenty years, Cannibal has always driven to the next city, or the next stop on the road, the night prior. Tonight, he checks into the nearest hotel/rest stop that connects to the main road. It's only about a four-hour drive, three if he can avoid traffic, and the need to piss. He doesn't even need to check into the venue until 5 pm. That's ample time, he decides for the first time in his career.
"I just need a bed and a shower", Cannibal tells the night clerk, a pimply boy who has deepened his voice since the exchange intensified.
He's the only employee, except for a few maids pushing yellow baskets around the parking lot, and a few unofficially affiliated girls prowling around from the local skin bar.
The boy wants to avoid a hassle. He knows that the nearest signs of life are the old warehouse a few exits down, and the sheriff's office even further.
"I'm sorry sir," he begins, and he's really using diaphragm now, speaking to the back of the house, "But all's we got left tonight is the honeymoon suite."
"So it's $30 extra for a dirty mirror on the ceiling, and a vase full of plastic fuckin' roses?"
The clerk winces at the swear, then gleams over Cannibal's right shoulder into the mostly empty parking lot. Cannibal gives the kid his best mean mug, the same one that he'd shoot toward a new opponent or a crowd that hates his guts. The quiet moment lingers, and then, wouldn't you guess it, just like that, thirty dollars gets shaved off the tab.
Cannibal tosses his duffel onto the frilly red sheets, then rolls off his sneakers as his reflections oblige in both the ceiling and wall-length mirrors. He sits on the bed, then wiggles his toes a bit generating a sound like gravel crunching in a driveway. He wants to get up and shower off some of the dried blood that's clotted his hair to his face, but the world rocks, and spins, and he lays down and falls asleep without even killing the bedside lamp.
He can't remember the ramp, the fans, or the bell. He can't remember the promos, or what angle he's supposed to be taking. But judging from the dark cherry splatted canvas, and the ringing in ears, it's been a fuckin' barn-burner so far. He looks directly ahead, at the high, pipe-laden ceiling, and realizes he's on his back. A boot lands next to his head, then another. Maybe it's the high-intensity discharge lights that are stinging his eyes, maybe he's still rattled from whatever move put him on his ass, but as his opponent steps over him, he can't seem at all to make out their face.
Whoever his opponent is, he begins to pick him up by the hair, and that's when Cannibal notices that the abstract art on the mat has mostly come from the back of his head. Drops of blood race down his opponents wrists, and pool near his elbows. Cannibal is bent over looking down at the mat, at his opponent's standard-issue black boots, and at the fresh coat of bright red, which will soon dry darker.
His opponent cranks his arms clumsily but with intensity. He can feel his blood greasing his opponent's grip, not allowing for any real traction. Then his opponent's knees square up, then bend, and Cannibal realizes. "Hey, that's my fucking move!" he says, or tries to say, but his opponent's airborne, and then so is he.
Usually, there's a nice thud when you hit the mat, but not this time. This time it sounds more like a series of wet pops, like cracking your knuckles underwater. Cannibal tries to roll over and assess the situation. Then he tries to roll over again.
Oh. Shit.
He's face down on the mat, and he intuits, rather than feels his opponent hurry off him, and in that same foggy way, he can feel the crowd. The beast with one thousand eyes is silent, but it isn't bored. It's murmuring, but with a sort of upward inflection, like it's asking him a question can't answer. Now a referee rolls him over. Cannibal awakens in a panic and tries to jump out of bed, away from the red sheets, but his body is uncooperative. His head lolls at an unnatural angle toward the mirrored wall. He can move his eyes, but nothing else.
He wants to scream for the pimply-faced boy or one of the night girls, but nothing comes out of his mouth. He can see his reflection, the collapsed muscles in his face, and the pool of spit that's collected on the pillow by his ear. The parts of the bed directly under him appear a darker red than the rest of the sheets. His eyes roll wildly and take in different parts of the same wall that he's frozen on. He can barely feel his breathing, but he knows that it's sporadic and shallow. He keeps rolling his eyes, searching for a modicum of control over his own body. And that's when he sees him again.
The ceiling mirror casts its reflection into its wall counterpart, and with the furthest strain of his eyeball muscles, Cannibal can just barely recognize him. He's a little older than he looked in the crowd earlier, but it's unmistakable this time. Fucking ghosts. Ghosts who aren't even dead yet. From somewhere behind his eyes Cannibal feels the onset of rage.
His eyes blink involuntarily, and a well of tears are pushed, and guided down into the spit-soaked pillow. He imagines himself rocking forward and tries to send this signal to a part of his body that doesn't exist. He imagines it again. He tries to kick a leg, throw an elbow, he'll settle for anything. He sends that signal in random intervals like he's trying to surprise his own faculties. He "throws" another elbow.
Except this time his arm releases from his side and soars out in front of him. His body follows, and he feels a vile concoction of fear, and relief as he falls off the bed, with arms and legs too weak to break his fall. He narrowly avoids contact with the corner of the nightstand and lands with a thud on the carpeted floor. He wiggles his toes, and the sound of tires on gravel rings out into nothing. ***
After regaining some strength, Cannibal uses his recently renewed limb strength to tear through every creak, and crack of the hotel room. He finds nobody in the room, nobody in the mirrors, just himself and his aching fucking cranium. Exhausted, but no longer tired, Cannibal grabs his duffel and checks out of the hotel room by tossing his key in the general direction of the unsuspecting clerk. He tears his car door open, then drives off with only half a plan in mind.
The morning sun breaks as Cannibal pulls up to a red light, and re-reads his early morning text to the promoter, 'Can't make it tonight. I'll make it up to you somehow.'
He's never backed out of a show before, and he knows that he'll have to confront that fact soon, but right now, it doesn't seem to matter. He needs to see him. He cobbles his route out of headlines and news stories that he manages to search up between red lights and stop signs.
Where are they now? 6 Wrestlers Whose Careers Ended In Tragedy The Real Story of Ernie "The Eagle" Samson Former World Champion Contender in Hospice After 20-Year Battle
Cannibals mind races as single sentences fire out at him like shrapnel. He scrolls past his own names, both gimmick and government a few times over. He feels the rage, and tears form behind his eyes again.
You weren't the only one that lost your legacy that day, you prick.
After twenty years he knows these roads well. Well enough to cruise over to the hospice unassisted by a map, or GPS. He acknowledges his thoughts as his motions become routine.
Ernie Samson was poised to be the next big thing back before all the wrestling territories got swallowed up by the Big Guy in the corporate machine. He was a handsome bastard, and a city man with the strength of a farm boy. He could talk fear into the crowd without raising his voice, and he pulled women who didn't know and didn't care what he did for a nightly living. Cannibal hated him, but in a brotherly way that was steeped in admiration. Even in those times, Cannibal was more brutish and uglier than everyone in the locker room. It was a stroke of momentary genius when some otherwise dipshit promoter first suggested that they pair up. Some sort of beauty and brawn type gimmick. The monster and his mouthpiece.
And you know what? It worked. People ate that shit right up. Cannibal chewed through his opponents with ferocity, while Ernie dazzled the crowd with his mixture of strong style, flips, and tricks. They melted the imaginary territory perimeters and became shooting stars in every market they played. Men paid off their tabs at the bar, and Ernie was gracious enough to send some trim Cannibal's way every now and again. It was a nice system, comfortable even.
Then that dipshit promoter had another bright idea. The team was ready to break up.
The way he described it, they'd take all that heat they had amassed together, and cover double the ground. This storyline was a natural, mostly because it was real. What the promoter was saying, in his dickhead way, was that Cannibal had served his purpose. He'd put the real star in place for his meteoric rise. Cannibal looked at where his career was, and how far it had come, and he agreed. They'd go out in one final bloodbath of a match, and defeat their current rivals, The Maniacs. Then Cannibal would attack Ernie, severing their ties, and launching their individual careers. Cut, dry.
Right up until the end, that match stands in Cannibal's memory as his finest work. If he'd been vicious before, he was rabid in this match. The hits were real, the emotions were high, and the crowd invested in every last pectoral twitch. After nearly half an hour of slogging and bruising, Cannibal hit his finisher and covered his opponent to the tune of twenty-something-thousand screaming fans. As the three-count fell, the crowd hit a decibel that he'd never heard before. They were screaming so loud, that it almost dampened in volume, and became a whisper in his ears.
The Maniacs had done their jobs well, bloodying and bruising Cannibal and Ernie for a gruesome glamor shot that would make the following day's paper. That image, of Ernie raising Cannibal's arm before the inevitable turn, would haunt almost every article written about either of them from that day forward.
Soaked in the moment, and each other's blood, Ernie hoisted Cannibal's arm, and they spun the ring, facing every single fan in attendance. Normally you'd wait for a break in the volume before the next big moment, but this crowd had no intention of quieting down. They faced each other, and Ernie mouthed the words.
"You ready?"
To this day Cannibal doesn't exactly know what went wrong. First, he felt sadness. Then he felt anger. He realized that the cheers wouldn't end for Ernie, but there was a very real possibility that this was his own last big pop. He went ahead as planned. First with an absolutely brutal kick to the midsection, which softened Ernie's abs into dough. Ernie let out a real, dry cough as the crowd's cheers morphed into shock and confusion. Then he cranked his arms, clumsily, but with intensity. Ernie's arms were slick with blood, and Cannibal couldn't sink in his hooks correctly. His legs shot out gracelessly, and rather than hearing the cushioned thud of his own ass, all he heard was a sick, wet pop.
Cannibal notes that he is about one exit from the hospice, and shakes his head vigorously as if to erase his thoughts. The exit approaches, and he cuts in deftly. He is immediately greeted by a green, bustling town, in a decent Midwestern neighborhood.
He cruises toward the hospice, passing a few young couples, and their church-clothed children. Bells chime nearby, and a dog emits a medium-sized bark from a nearby public park.
Cannibal glances in his rear-view as he changes lanes. Ernie is seated behind the middle console, smirking, but with no joy in his eyes. Cannibal tries to scream, but can't.
With the wheel slightly angled for his turn, Cannibal cruises subtly across lanes, onto the sidewalk, then into the park.
The first few couples dive out of the way with synchronized, but inharmonious shrieks. A young man pushes his wife and child to the ground, and the driver's side front wheel crunches, and shatters his ankle. The next few people aren't so lucky.
A group of friends sprawled across a picnic blanket snap around toward the source of the commotion just in time to greet the Toyota Camry's fender. Cannibal's eyes dart between his windshield and the rearview where Ernie sits smirking. He sees a young woman snatched from his sight line and hears a gunshot of a pop as the back of her skull smacks against some concrete. Tears roll down Cannibal's face as he wills his arms, legs, or fucking anything to move. The litter of bodies test the car's shocks, as the wheels find their way over strange terrains of bone and flesh. Then, a street lamp.
Cannibal's forehead smacks against his wheel a millisecond before the airbags deploy. He flinches, and his arms twitch as the bag chafes his nose and brow. He has regained control of his movement, if only slightly. He kicks open the door but does not face the trail of mayhem that succumbed to his vehicle. Instead, he realizes that he is just one block away from the hospice. With the remaining screams a comfortable distance behind him, he half runs, half stumbles to the reception desk.
People react to Cannibal's arrival with appropriate confusion and terror. The butterfly stitches have ceased to hold, and a rigid pattern of blood trails him as he staggers across the linoleum tile.
"Sir, do you need help?"
"Samson. I need Ernie fucking Samson."
He peers over the desk and sees a directory of sorts, like a cheat sheet of hospice patients, and their assigned rooms. He leaks blood from his brow over the counter, and onto the sheet, and the seated receptionist recoils with disgust as he snatches and reads it.
Ernie Samson 211
Cannibal marches now on sturdy feet to the nearest stairwell. A small security guard attempts to stand in his way, but Cannibal dwarfs his face with his gigantic palm, and smashes it into the drywall behind him, eliciting a collective gasp from the lobby waiting room. He kicks open the stairwell door and drags himself up the single flight of stairs onto the landing. Then he kicks open the second door.
Nurses gasp and take a step back as he emerges from the stairwell, ferocity emblazoned across his face and written in his scar tissue. He observes the direction in which the numbered rooms flow and stomps toward Room 211.
Half a dozen people are stood outside the room, with hospital staff accounting for only two of them.
"Bradley?" an older woman asks, as Cannibal tears past her, and into the room.
Inside the room is a white sheet spread over a series of lumps on a lightly inclined bed. A young man is seated near the side of the bed where the railing has been temporarily removed. His eyes are bloodshot, and his cheeks are damp.
"Brad, what the fuck is-" he begins to say.
Cannibal lifts his leg and boots the man right off the green cushioned chair. Then he turns to the white lumps and tears the blanket off.
Ernie's face appears as it did in his back seat but without the rigid smirk. The muscles in his face are weak and sag as if they'd collapsed several years before his death. His dull eyes are still open, still staring at Cannibal.
"Ernie, you fucking prick," Cannibal starts, "You fucking prick, you get back here right now! You gonna fuck with me? You gonna fuck with me, Ernie? I fucking made you Ernie! We both fucking died that day!"
A small militia of security guards pour into the room, and it takes every last one of them to restrain Cannibal. He fights, and squirms as the fattest guard sits on the wide of his back, and pulls his arms. Cannibal thrashes and screams like an animal as he is restrained. He bashes his face into the tiled floor, leaving increasingly large spots of blood at the sight of impact. The fat guard applies some pressure to his hold, as small, wet pop emits from Cannibal's back.
There's no story here. No tale of the tape. Just a has-been wrestler in tomorrow's headlines, and a family mourning a loss that begun two decades prior. The crowd of mourners gasp and scream as all the fight leaves Cannibal's body at once. Then a woman breaks into sobs. She used to know Bradley Hughes. The real Cannibal. But nobody wants real.
They only think they do.

Help, I am in so much pain from a root canal. I have tried getting it from my dentist who did my fillings but they say a molar root canal would not be covered by Medicaid. I asked them if they would accept it somewhere else and they said that Medicaid does not cover root canals for molars and I would have to pay wherever I go. Is this true or is there somewhere in which root canals would be covered? I have CountyCare specifically. Please help!

I'm struggling with a relationship breakdown.
So me and my ex have been broken up for just over 6-7months. Things were frosty at first to say the least. We've been through a lot as a couple, have 2 kids together as well. The breakup was more her than me, I didn't want it but after the breakup I fully agree that it was needed imo, but only a break, like a hard reset.
Last few years of our time together weren't great, severe lack of communication on my part, I shut down as I was going through a lot health and career wisebas well as us relationship wise, we lost a baby. I was a shell of a human tbh, she had her issues as well that didn't help with her temper and anger outbursts and when I opened up about being genuinely afraid of her temper (As pathetic as it made me feel) she initially laughed at me, before apologising a few hours later. There's not been any cheating or anything, just a lot of shared trauma, lack of communication etc.
Fast forward to the last few weeks and it just all feels like a mistake, we've talked about EVERYTHING, communication is on point right now, everything has been aired out and apologised for from both sides, nothing has been left unsaid and I'm desperate for us to get back together and tbh it's kinda like we already are.
We've been cuddling more, literally every day she's admitted she still and always will love me, admitted to checking me out on many occasions, severe thirsting from both of us lol even groping on occasion and I've been caught doing the same to her too lol the spark is absolutely most definitely there, no question. We even had the talk of has there been anyone since the split and her response to me was "No and there never will be, even the thought of someone else other than you touching me makes me physically sick" and there absolutely has not been anyone for me for exactly the same reasons.
I've given her massages like we used too, over the clothes but like massaging her butt like we used to and she loves lol the way she cuddles me, looks at me I can tell she wants us to give it another shot but she's adamant she wants to be on her own, but I don't think she even believes that given how we are atm.
We're like 90% in a relationship at this point, the only things we aren't doing is kissing or having sex. I'm at the house from school runs first thing to kids bedtimes and when I leave and she hugs me its like she can't let go and neither can I. Her eyes look sad when I go as do mine. There's even been times where she's led on the bed and we've cuddled, full body, legs entangled etc and she's edging closer like she can't get close enough.
So why is she so adamant on not getting back together and giving it another shot? I don't understand. She is a remarkably stubborn woman and I'm scared she'll throw this away and stick to her guns when it's plain as day in her eyes she doesn't believe it.
She's said that being with me made her want to end her life, yet I don't understand. She's walked out multiple times and said that she wanted to end it all and it was ALWAYS after her arguing with our eldest whom she has a very toxic relationship with. I've never cheated, never done anything like that, my biggest issue was shutting down and not communicating with her. Whenever I've talked to family and friends about stuff that's gone on in our relationship they've always said she's abusing me and I've always defended her. I've always taken the path of she was going through a lot and didn't mean it. Since the split we both are like our true selves. We had a big talk tonight and she's adamant she's done and never wants me because she needs to process all the hurt that she's gone through and that I apparently put her through as i was never there for her but she was always there for me she says, but when she's explaining it I can't help but get a feeling that her version isn't right, and I honestly can't remember. I really struggle with my memory, like everything is just covered in mist, but I just have a feeling its not right.
I just don't understand how she can say she doesn't want to get back together because I made her want to kill herself but in the same day will cuddle me, wrap her arms around me, check me out, look at me the way she does, make inappropriate jokes about our sex life etc, even tonight saying "Shes always going to love the feeling of my privates pressing up behind her" which they did last night when I was giving her a full body massage. She said she loved the feeling, it felt super comfortable but the fact it felt nice and comfortable was a bad thing. Surely if someone truly made you feel like you want to kill yourself you'd want nothing to do with them? Especially in these ways above. I don't get it, I feel like I'm going crazy.
I've promised her it won't go back to how we were, in my head the shell I became cost me everything, I hate that version of me and he's never coming back and neither is that version of her because this time round she'd have a partner who is 50/50, or on days when she needs it I'd be 70/30, 80/20 or even the whole 100 if she needed it. I know I hurt her by becoming who I did but I've not just told her I've changed, I've been showing her every single second since the split I have changed and tbh I am actually proud of myself, which I've never said about myself before about anything. She even said "I'm giving her everything she was begging me for now and it feels like I'm hitting her in the head with it like a shovel".
She says she doesn't have it in her to give us another go, that we damaged the kids, which imo "We" most definitely did not, it her and our eldest daughters relationship that is toxic as hell, arguing, screaming and getting physical and we have 2 young babies around as well. With me moved out they're there with the pair of them.
We're honestly right now 90% in a relationship, the only things we aren't doing are having sex pretty much. We kissed thole other night and we absolutely melted into each other. We've spent every single day together last month or so and it's genuinely been filled with happiness, just come bedtime I leave.
I'm desperate to fix this and for her to give us another go I just don't know how to make her see or if im a sucker for trying, a complete mug that she's taking advantage of. This isn't just a missing her thing, she's the 1, I've thought about it every day since the split, was it right or wrong etc and we 100% needed the break for a hard reset, but I fully believe that's all we needed and we can be one of these relationships where a break is what we needed to flourish and realise what we had.
Its honestly driving me insane not being able to kiss her, we already hug loads throughout the day, she cuddles me, she lies on the sofa with her head in my lap while I massage her back. We're doing most stuff couples do without just being honest about it and sex which given the way we've been flirting with each other and touching each other it's a miracle it hasn't happened.
She is a woman who literally lives her life by the motto "Actions speak louder than words", she's telling me no, never going to happen with her words bit then we're cuddling, hugging, kissing, touching etc constantly. What do I believe?
I feel like us both having separate lives would be a waste, we have the perfect little family we really do. I'm from a background where you don't throw that away but you fight for it and fix it, I know she is too and she already feels like she did fight and I didn't which there is absolutely truth in I admit it. I know I didn't fight for a long time but that mistake cost me everything and it's a harsh lesson learned and will never happen again.
I feel like us pursuing our own lives now is a waste, the wrong choice and something we'll live to regret. I just want us to be happy. We're both looking to move houses atm as I'm stuck with my parents and she is wanting a bigger house for her and the kids, I feel like if that happens we're done forever and it's killing me.
Thank-you so so much to those who have read this and can help, I've honestly never had my head so messed up before.

ADRIFT
He actually felt awake that morning. Unsmeared by sleep, the world sparkled as the fresh morning light shone from every surface. The road was wet with the rain that had ceased even before he woke and reflected the traffic lights more dully than it had the night before. As he opened the door of his generic silver Toyota, his shoes scraped on the grit covering the pavement. The air was still moist, and though the clouds overhead were moving quickly, some of them were still dark. John sat and closed the sedan’s door. The engine grumbled into life, and he pulled through the parking lot onto the road.
He hated hotels. The thought of other people sharing a wall with him as he slept made him uneasy. There was also the speculation of how many couples had used the bed in which he lay for something other than sleep.
Last night had been different, though. It had been the grand opening of this Motel 6, and though he had skipped the complementary continental breakfast, he had been able to request the corner room, with no one adjacent.
Traffic was easy along the highway, and the promising clouds sprinkled his windshield as he moved further northeast. High mesas rose from the plain, red rock stained darker by the rain. Windshield-wipers swished, pushing the water from before his face as he sped down the road.
At eight o’clock that evening, his stomach began to ache, so he pulled into a gas station to buy supper. The lights in the overhead above the gas pumps glared down into the night; the air smelled of gasoline, and oil spots clustered in dried-up puddles before each vacant terminal. John locked his car and walked to the convenience store. The cold felt welcome on his skin, and he could now detect a hint of cigarette smoke in the air.
A security camera warning greeted him in red on the clear glass door and a bell rang tinnily as he pulled it open. The lights mirrored the glare of those outside. The floors were white, and short shelves of ill-aligned candy and snacks filled the center of the room in evenly disheveled rows. To his right, the checkout counter stood empty.
John walked between the shelves of junk food to the row of fogged refrigerated cabinets set into the far wall. He selected a ham and croissant sandwich and a bottle of Mountain Dew and walked to the register.
The little bell rang again, and the cashier came in. He was wearing a blue vest, and the scent of tobacco hung about his hair and clothes. He monotoned a greeting and rang up the food, and John returned to his car.
The Mountain Dew tingled against the inside of his lips. He ate as he drove.
His car was a bullet of warmth that shot through the cold, dark night, the windshield clearer now than it had been all day; it brought the world before him into sharp focus, making the soft black of the night stop abruptly where the small white dots that distinguished the lanes sat huddled like little rocks in that vast, hard stream.
The next morning he pulled into a rest stop and shut down his engine. The sun was just peeking over the trees that jumbled along the side of the road. After using the restroom, John bought a granola bar from the vending machine with the quarters that had been his change the night before. He munched it as he reclined his driver’s chair as far as it would go, and tried to keep the crumbs from falling on his shirt. The bar tasted oddly of dried banana, though there was no fruit in it, and it stuck to his teeth and throat.
He awoke when another car entered the cul-de-sac of pavement and parked beside him. It was already after noon. He managed to stretch two minutes into half an hour more of imagined dream time before the children that clambered out of the new car and clamored for bathroom priority drove back the waves of sleep that lapped at the edges of his brain.
Michigan was drawing nearer. He was finally nearing the destination he had avoided for so long. But though it didn’t really matter to him when he arrived, and it wasn’t as though anyone was expecting him, he knew he could not keep driving forever. He had to get somewhere sometime.
John spent the next night at a motel – a mom-and-pop kind of place with hand-knitted blankets and carpet from the eighties. The shelf above the bed was lined with potpourri in little vases – almost a graveyard of flowers, but he appreciated the attempt at hominess. What little sleep he got was sporadic and brief.
The belt of “I” states passed in a blur; soon he was turning due north, threading his way into the mitten state like a small blood cell in the wrist of the world. Fall was in full swing here much more so than in the west. Every tree was highlighted in gold, umber, or scarlet, except for the evergreens, which clung resolutely to their stately dark firs. The warm colors threw themselves into the sky with every gust of wind, and little drifts of fallen leaves gathered protectively about the bases of chilly buildings. Wind-whipped grey coated the sky, mimicking the concrete of the freeway below.
After an interchange or two, his exit came, and he stopped at a little diner to admire the waitresses and the toast before moving on. The squeaky vinyl seat of his booth matched the teal skirt of his server. Even with a plate of hash browns and two eggs sunny-side-up to fortify his pitching stomach, he stalled, nursing his coffee until it was tepid and undrinkable. He left it and a generous tip on the table.
He pulled off the road before entering town, and parked in a small clearing behind the graveyard at the edge of the woods. He could, at least, delay his arrival a little longer. He had come here often as a teen, lured partially by the mystique and partially by the loneliness.
The sun was starting to come out as it set, sinking below the layer of cloud. John leaned against his car and looked up at the pearly patterns now gilded by the sunset. It felt good to be back, despite his ambivalence.
There was a little tower on one side of the cemetery – a bell tower. John had always supposed that it may have once been a barn, for it was made of wood, and still had a large double door in the front of it, though it had been boarded shut.
He opened his trunk and retrieved a dreadlock-fringed plaid blanket. Without difficulty, he unlatched the small door in the side of the building and began to climb the stair that wound along the interior walls of the tower. In the loft hung the bell; it was more weathered than he remembered, just as he also must be. The room was full of shifting shadows and gleaming patches of light flung there by the setting sun. Pigeons and dust filtered through the air to rest on the beams. He laid out the blanket and sat with his face to the sunset.

To clear up a common misconception that this is something that only happens extremely rarely, here's a list of every time more than 4 words have fit one of the categories and what number puzzle it occurred in. The first 4 words are the answers and every word after that in parenthesis are words that fit that category but were part of another group. Also, category names might not be exactly the same as the ones used.

#4 Cleaning Verbs

Possible answers: DUST, MOP, SWEEP, VACUUM, (IRON)

#5 Condiments

Possible answers: KETCHUP, MAYO, RELISH, TARTAR, (MUSTARD)

#5 Clue Characters

Possible answers: GREEN, MUSTARD, PLUM, SCARLET, (PEACOCK)

#6 Shades of Blue

Possible answers: BABY, MIDNIGHT, POWDER, ROYAL, (SEA)

#6 Rappers

Possible answers: COMMON, FUTURE, ICE CUBE, Q-TIP, (CHANCE)

#9 Shirts

Possible answers: CAMI, HALTER, TANK, TEE, (POLO)

#9 Vegetables

Possible answers: BEET, CARROT, CORN, ONION, (SQUASH)

#9 Insects

Possible answers: ANT, BEETLE, MANTIS, TERMITE, (CRICKET)

#10 Countries

Possible answers: CHAD, GEORGIA, JORDAN, TOGO, (TURKEY)

#10 Birds

Possible answers: CRANE, JAY, TURKEY, SWALLOW, (KIWI)

#11 Spices

Possible answers: CARDAMOM, CLOVE, CORIANDER, CUMIN, (GINGER)

#11 Terms of Endearment

Possible answers: BOO, HONEY, SUGAR, SWEETIE, (BABY)

#12 Animal Group Names

Possible answers: FLOCK, PACK, POD, SCHOOL, (PRIDE)

#12 Deadly Sins

Possible answers: ENVY, GREED, LUST, PRIDE, (SLOTH)

#13 Airlines

Possible answers: FRONTIER, SPIRIT, UNITED, VIRGIN, (DELTA)

#13 Greek Letters

Possible answers: BETA, CHI, DELTA, IOTA, (NU)

#13 Silent G's

Possible answers: GNAT, GNAW, GNOCCHI, GNOME, (GNU)

#14 Famous Brothers

Possible answers: JONAS, MARX, WARNER, WRIGHT, (MARIO)

#14 Honda Vehicles

Possible answers: ACCORD, CIVIC, PASSPORT, PILOT, (CANOPY)

#15 Colors

Possible answers: BROWN, PINK, TURQUOISE, VIOLET, (SILVER)

#15 Fishing Equipment

Possible answers: LURE, REEL, ROD, TACKLE, (HOOK)

#16 Nuts

Possible answers: ALMOND, CASHEW, PECAN, WALNUT (PEANUT)

#17 Neck Accessories

Possible answers: ASCOT, BOLO, TIE, SCARF, (BOW)

#19 Disagreement

Possible answers: QUARREL, ROW, SPAT, TIFF, QUARREL, (BEEF)

#20 Grains

Possible answers: BARLEY, OAT, RYE, SPELT, (RICE)

#20 Royal Titles

Possible answers: BARON, EARL, KING, PRINCE, (DUKE)

#23 60's Band Member

Possible answers: BEACH BOY, BEATLE, BYRD, MONKEE, (ROLLING STONE)

#23 Dance Fads

Possible answers: DOUGIE, MACARENA, MASHED POTATO, TWIST, (VOGUE)

#25 Desserts

Possible answers: CHEESECAKE, FLAN, MOUSSE, TIRAMISU, (FUDGE)

#25 Animals with Tusks

Possible answers: ELEPHANT, HIPPO, NARWHAL, WARTHOG, (WALRUS)

#26 Countries (Holland is technically a region but it's often used as an informal name for the Netherlands)

Possible answers: DENMARK, GREECE, POLAND, PORTUGAL, (HOLLAND)

#26 Spelled with Roman Numerals

Possible answers: DILL, LIVID, MILD, MIX, (MIMIC)

#27 Body Parts

Possible answers: HEART, LIVER, LUNG, KIDNEY, (SPINE)

#28 File Extensions

Possible answers: GIF, PDF, TIFF, ZIP, (DOC)

#28 Fruits

Possible answers: BANANA, COCONUT, MANGO, PINEAPPLE, (KIWI)

#30 Joints

Possible answers: HIP, KNEE, SHOULDER, WRIST, (ELBOW)

#33 Boats

Possible answers: FERRY, JUNK, TUG, YACHT, (SUB)

#33 Cuts of Beef

Possible answers: FLANK, LOIN, ROUND, SHANK, (CHUCK)

#34 Smell

Possible answers: AROMA, BOUQUET, FRAGRANCE, SCENT, (FUNK)

#34 Music Genres

Possible answers: BLUES, COUNTRY, FUNK, SOUL, (ROCK)

#35 Metals

Possible answers: IRON, LEAD, TIN, ZINC, (NICKEL)

#36 Animals

Possible answers: KANGAROO, KOALA, WALLABY, WOMBAT, (MOLE RAT)

#38 Trees

Possible answers: ASH, CEDAR, MAPLE, PINE, (ELM)

#38 Land Formation

Possible answers: HILL, MOUNTAIN, PLATEAU, VALLEY, (PLAIN)

#38 Bagel Flavors

Possible answers: EVERYTHING, ONION, PLAIN, POPPY, (SESAME)

#41 Islands

Possible answers: CUBA, JAPAN, MALTA, PALAU, (FIJI), (JAVA)

#42 Punctuation Marks

Possible answers: COLON, COMMA, HYPHEN, PERIOD, (DASH)

#43 Birds

Possible answers: BOOBY, GULL, PELICAN, PUFFIN, (CANARY)

#45 Modes of Transportation

Possible answers: BOAT, CAR, PLANE, TRAIN, (SUBWAY)

#46 Cities

Possible answers: CHICAGO, MUNICH, PHILADELPHIA, RIO, (MANHATTAN)

#46 Fashion Magazines

Possible answers: ALLURE, ELLE, GLAMOUR, W, (COSMOPOLITAN)

#46 Storms

Possible answers: BLIZZARD, CYCLONE, SQUALL, TORNADO, (HURRICANE)

#48 Apparitions

Possible answers: GHOST, PHANTOM, SPECTER, SPIRIT, (GENIE)

#49 Relatives

Possible answers: AUNT, COUSIN, MOTHER, NEPHEW, (GRANDFATHER)

#49 Offbeat

Possible answers: DAFFY, KOOKY, QUIRKY, WACKY, (CUCKOO)

#49 Fictional Ducks

Possible answers: DAISY, DEWEY, DONALD, SCROOGE, (DAFFY)

#50 Imperial Measurements

Possible answers: FOOT, INCH, MILE, YARD, (QUART)

#52 Rodents

Possible answers: GERBIL, HAMSTER, RAT, VOLE, (MOUSE)

#52 Musical Instruments

Possible answers: HARP, HORN, ORGAN, TRIANGLE, (KEYBOARD)

#52 Complain

Possible answers: CARP, GRIPE, GROUSE, MOAN, (HARP)

#53 Animal Group Names

Possible answers: COLONY, HERD, PRIDE, SWARM, (FAMILY)

#53 AP Classes

Possible answers: BIO, CHEM, GOV, STATS, (LIT)

#54 Places for Worship

Possible answers: ALTAR, RELIQUARY, SHRINE, TEMPLE, (ABBEY)

#54 Presidents

Possible answers: CALVIN, CHESTER, GROVER, HARRY, (GARFIELD)

#56 Dances

Possible answers: HUSTLE, SALSA, SWING, TANGO, (TAP)

#57 Patterns

Possible answers: HOUNDSTOOTH, PAISLEY, PLAID, STRIPES, (DOT)

#58 Arachnids

Possible answers: MITE, SCORPION, SPIDER, TICK, (BLACK WIDOW)

#58 Fish

Possible answers: CHAR, EEL, PERCH, SHARK, (CATFISH)

#58 Superheroes

Possible answers: BLACK WIDOW, BLADE, FLASH, STORM, (TICK)

#59 Quantity

Possible answers: FEW, HANDFUL, SEVERAL, SOME, (PAIR)

#59 Celestial Objects

Possible answers: ASTEROID, COMET, MOON, PLANET, (SUN)

#60 Sports Venues

Possible answers: COURT, DIAMOND, FIELD, RINK, (RING)

#60 Jewelry

Possible answers: ANKLET, BANGLE, BROOCH, PENDANT, (RING), (CHARM)

#62 State Abbreviations

Possible answers: CO, MA, ME, PA, (LA)

#62 Period Table Symbols

Possible answers: FE, HE, NA, NI, (CO), (PA), (LA), (TI)

#63 Slang for Zero

Possible answers: JACK, NADA, NOTHING, SQUAT, (ZIP)

#63 Exercises

Possible answers: CURL, LUNGE, PLANK, PRESS, (SQUAT), (CRUNCH)

#63 Captains

Possible answers: CRUNCH, KANGAROO, OBVIOUS, PLANET, (JACK)

#64 Dog Names

Possible answers: FIDO, LUCKY, ROVER, SPOT, (REX)

#64 Perceive

Possible answers: CATCH, NOTICE, OBSERVE, SEE, (SPOT)

#64 Fishing Terms

Possible answers: BAIT, CHUM, FLY, SINKER, (CATCH)

#65 Energy

Possible answers: JUICE, SPIRIT, STEAM, VIGOR, (GAS), (FIRE)

#66 Time Periods

Possible answers: CENTURY, DECADE, MILLENNIUM, YEAR, (MONTH)

#66 Breakfast Foods

Possible answers: CEREAL, OMELET, PANCAKE, WAFFLE, (BACON), (EGG)

#67 Desserts

Possible answers: CAKE, COBBLER, PIE, TART, (FUDGE)

#67 Occupations

Possible answers: FISHER, MASON, MILLER, SMITH, (DOCTOR)

#68 Extremely

Possible answers: AWFUL, QUITE, SUPER, VERY, (REAL)

#68 Currencies

Possible answers: RAND, REAL, STERLING, WON, (POUND)

#68 _____Cake

Possible answers: CARROT, COFFEE, POUND, SPONGE, (CUP)

#69 Shoes

Possible answers: CLOG, PUMP, SLIDE, WEDGE, (MARY JANE)

#69 Slang for Marijuana

Possible answers: GRASS, HERB, MARY JANE, WEED, (BUD), (POT)

#70 Camping Supplies

Possible answers: COOLER, LANTERN, SLEEPING BAG, TENT, (CAMPER)

#70 Insult

Possible answers: BARB, DIG, DISS, JAB, (SLIGHT)

#71 States

Possible answers: ARIZONA, COLORADO, NEVADA, UTAH, (KANSAS), (MONTANA)

#72 Santa's Reindeer

Possible answers: COMET, CUPID, DASHER, VIXEN, (DANCER)

#72 Seen on Valentine's Day

Possible answers: CARD, HEART, CHOCOLATE, ROSE, (CUPID)

#73 Facial Hair

Possible answers: BEARD, GOATEE, MUSTACHE, STUBBLE, (HANDLEBAR)

#73 Pursue

Possible answers: DOG, FOLLOW, TAIL, TRACK, (SHADOW)

#74 Failures

Possible answers: BUSTS, FLOPS, MISSES, TURKEYS, (DUDS)

#75 Social Gathering

Possible answers: BASH, BLOWOUT, PARTY, SHINDIG, (MIXER)

#75 Found in a Kitchen

Possible answers: COUNTER, MIXER, RANGE, SINK, (ISLAND)

#79 Depart Quickly

Possible answers: BOOK, BOUNCE, RUN, SPLIT, (JET)

#79 Shades of Black

Possible answers: EBONY, JET, ONYX, RAVEN, (BLACK)

#80 Influence

Possible answers: CLOUT, PULL, WEIGHT, SWAY, (IMPACT)

#81 Appetizer Unit

Possible answers: FRY, NACHO, POPPER, WING, (CHIP), (CRACKER)

#81 Response to a Correct Answer

Possible answers: BINGO, CORRECT, RIGHT, YES, (DING)

#82 Drink Vessels

Possible answers: GOBLET, SNIFTER, TUMBLER, STEIN, (FLUTE)

#82 Woodwinds

Possible answers: CLARINET, FLUTE, OBOE, SAXOPHONE, (BASSOON)

#82 American Poets

Possible answers: BISHOP, FROST, OLDS, POUND, (STEIN)

#83 Unclothed

Possible answers: BARE, NAKED, NUDE, UNCLAD, (BUFF)

#83 Football Actions

Possible answers: FUMBLE, PUNT, SACK, SNAP, (TURNOVER)

#83 Finger Actions

Possible answers: BUFF, CLIP, FILE, POLISH, (SNAP)

#84 Female Animals

Possible answers: COW, DOE, HEN, MARE, (EWE)

#84 Pronouns

Possible answers: I, IT, THEY, WE, (YOU)

#84 Roman Numerals

Possible answers: D, L, M, V, (I)

#86 Information Displays

Possible answers: CHART, DIAGRAM, GRAPH, MAP, (PIE)

#86 Additional Benefit

Possible answers: BONUS, EXTRA, ICING, PERK, (GRAVY)

#86 Creatures in Folklore

Possible answers: GNOME, GOBLIN, OGRE, TROLL, (DRAGON)

#89 Alcohol

Possible answers: CIDER, PORT, SAKE, STOUT, (SPIRIT), (SCOTCH)

#89 Pixar Movies

Possible answers: BRAVE, CARS, COCO, UP, (SOUL)

#90 Baseball Calls

Possible answers: BALL, OUT, SAFE, STRIKE, (WALK)

#90 Fish

Possible answers: CARP, CATFISH, FLOUNDER, SMELT, (SALMON)

#91 Jungle Animals

Possible answers: ANACONDA, CAPYBARA, JAGUAR, TOUCAN, (LION)

#91 Lowest Point

Possible answers: BASE, BOTTOM, FOOT, FOUNDATION, (LEGS)

#92 Halloween Decorations

Possible answers: BAT, COBWEB, PUMPKIN, TOMBSTONE, (BONES)

#93 Animal Sounds

Possible answers: BUZZ, CLUCK, MEOW, OINK, (BARK)

#93 Inside Info

Possible answers: DIRT, DISH, SCOOP, SKINNY, (TEA)

#95 Songs that are Names

Possible answers: ALEJANDRO, LOLA, MICHELLE, STAN, (IRIS)

#96 Animals

Possible answers: BUFFALO, COW, GOAT, SHEEP, (HORSE)

#96 Gymnastics Apparatus

Possible answers: FLOOR, HORSE, RINGS, VAULT, (BEAM)

#97 Fairy Tale Figures

Possible answers: GIANT, PRINCESS, WITCH, WOLF, (QUEEN)

#97 "Peanuts" Characters

Possible answers: CHARLIE, PEPPERMINT PATTY, PIGPEN, WOODSTOCK, (LUCY)

#98 Fruits

Possible answers: APRICOT, FIG, GRAPE, LIME, (BERRY)

#98 Luxurious

Possible answers: DELUXE, GRAND, LAVISH, OPULENT, (SWANK)

#99 Intelligent

Possible answers: BRIGHT, CLEVER, QUICK, SHARP, (SMART)

#100 Web Browser-Related

Possible answers: BOOKMARK, HISTORY, TAB, WINDOW, (LINK), (POCKET)

#100 Dirty_____

Possible answers: DOZEN, JOKE, LAUNDRY, MARTINI, (WINDOW)

#101 Bowling Terms

Possible answers: ALLEY, BALL, LANE, PIN, (SPARE)

#101 Common Merch Items

Possible answers: MUG, PEN, TEE, TOTE, (PIN)

#102 Vehicles

Possible answers: BUS, CAR, MOTORCYCLE, TRUCK, (SCOOTER)

#102 Muppets

Possible answers: ANIMAL, BEAKER, GONZO, SCOOTER, (CHEF), (PIGGY)

#103 Soda Fountain Orders (Concrete can mean a type of milkshake or frozen custard)

Possible answers: FLOAT, MALT, SHAKE, SUNDAE, (CONCRETE), (SPLIT)

#104 Robust

Possible answers: FIT, HEALTHY, SOUND, STRONG, (WELL)

#104 Water Sources

Possible answers: FOUNTAIN, SPRING, TAP, WELL, (SINK)

#105 Kitchen Utensils

Possible answers: GRATER, LADLE, PEELER, WHISK, (CLEAVER)

#106 Wedding Items

Possible answers: BOUQUET, RING, TRAIN, VEIL, (CAKE)

#106 Encase

Possible answers: CAKE, COAT, COVER, CRUST, (VEIL)

#107 Snakes

Possible answers: BOA, MAMBA, PYTHON, VIPER, (GARTER)

#108 Produced by Trees

Possible answers: ACORN, CONE, POLLEN, SAP, (GUM), (NEEDLE)

#108 Candy

Possible answers: CHOCOLATE, GUM, LICORICE, LOLLIPOP, (SUCKER)

#108 Target of a Scheme

Possible answers: CHUMP, FOOL, MARK, SUCKER, (SAP)

#109 Rap Subgenres

Possible answers: BOUNCE, CRUNK, DRILL, GRIME, (TRAP)

#110 Golf Clubs

Possible answers: IRON, PUTTER, WEDGE, WOOD, (CLUB)

#112 Coffee Counter Items

Possible answers: CUP, LID, STIRRER, STRAW, (STICK)

#114 Talk

Possible answers: BLATHER, CHAT, GAB, JABBER, (YAK)

#115 Christmas-Related

Possible answers: MISTLETOE, REINDEER, SNOWMAN, STOCKING, (PRESENT), (CANDY CANE)

#116 MLB Teams

Possible answers: ANGEL, CUB, MET, RED, (NAT)

#119 Celebratory Occasion

Possible answers: ANNIVERSARY, BIRTHDAY, SHOWER, WEDDING, (RECEPTION), (SERVICE)

#120 Crops

Possible answers: CORN, CUCUMBER, PEPPER, TOMATO, (MELON)

#121 Bible Books

Possible answers: ACTS, JOB, KINGS, MARK, (GENESIS)

#121 NHL Teams

Possible answers: FLAMES, KRAKEN, STARS, WILD, (KINGS), (RANGER)

#123 Conceal

Possible answers: BLOCK, COVER, HIDE, MASK, (SHIELD)

#124 "L" Cities

Possible answers: LAGOS, LIMERICK, LINCOLN, LUXOR, (LIMA)

#124 Poetry Terms

Possible answers: LINE, METER, RHYME, VERSE, (LIMERICK)

#125 Butt

Possible answers: BOTTOM, BUNS, SEAT, TAIL, (BOOTY)

#126 Tools

Possible answers: HAMMER, FILE, LEVEL, SAW, (WRENCH)

#126 Keyboard Shortcuts

Possible answers: COPY, FIND, PRINT, SAVE, (FILE)

#127 Days of the Week

Possible answers: FRIDAY, SATURDAY, SUNDAY, THURSDAY, (WEDNESDAY), (TUESDAY)

#127 Go Bad

Possible answers: ROT, SOUR, SPOIL, TURN, (FESTER)

#129 Bit of Air

Possible answers: BREEZE, DRAFT, GUST, PUFF, (PANT)

#130 Falsify

Possible answers: FABRICATE, FAKE, FIX, FORGE, (FUDGE)

#130 TV Shows

Possible answers: FARGO, FIREFLY, FLEABAG, FLIPPER, (FRIENDS)

#131 Animal Homes

Possible answers: DEN, LAIR, HIVE, NEST, (WEB), (WARREN)

#131 Equitable

Possible answers: EQUAL, EVEN, FAIR, JUST, (GOOD)

#132 Tableware

Possible answers: BOWL, DISH, PLATE, SAUCER, (CROCK), (CUP)

#133 British Food

Possible answers: MASH, ROAST, SCONE, TRIFLE, (BANGER)

#133 Predicament

Possible answers: BIND, PICKLE, SCRAPE, SPOT, (JAM)

#134 Impel

Possible answers: DRIVE, INSPIRE, MOTIVATE, SPUR, (SPARK)

#135 Compound Words

Possible answers: BACKPACK, BIGWIG, DOWNTOWN, RAGTAG, (TEXTBOOK)

#136 Grammar Tenses

Possible answers: FUTURE, PAST, PERFECT, PRESENT, (SIMPLE)

#136 The 12 Days of Christmas

Possible answers: DRUMMER, LADY, RING, SWAN, (LORD)

#137 Excellent

Possible answers: ACES, KEEN, NEATO, NIFTY, (SWELL)

#137 Bubbles

Possible answers: FOAM, FROTH, HEAD, LATHER, (BUBBLE)

#138 Metals

Possible answers: COPPER, GOLD, NICKEL, SILVER, (BRASS), (MERCURY)

#139 Aesthetics

Possible answers: DRESS, LOOK, MANNER, STYLE, (TASTE)

#140 Mishmash

Possible answers: HASH, JUMBLE, MEDLEY, STEW, (LITTER)

#143 Filler Words

Possible answers: ERM, UH, UM, WELL, (LIKE), (ER)

#146 Clue Weapons

Possible answers: CANDLESTICK, KNIFE, ROPE, WRENCH, (PIPE)

#147 Unchanging

Possible answers: EVEN, LEVEL, STABLE, STEADY, (UNIFORM)

#147 Long, Sharp Objects

Possible answers: LANCE, PIN, SKEWER, SPIT, (PITCHFORK)

#148 Musical Format

Possible answers: LP, PLATTER, VINYL, WAX, (CD)

#148 Cube-Shaped

Possible answers: BOUILLON, DIE, ICE, SUGAR, (STOCK)

#150 Equivocate

Possible answers: HEDGE, SEE-SAW, WAVER, YO-YO, (FLIP-FLOP), (WAFFLE)

#151 Podcasts

Possible answers: RADIOLAB, SERIAL, UP FIRST, WTF, (FRESH AIR), (REPLY ALL)

#152 Intelligent

Possible answers: BRIGHT, QUICK, SHARP, SMART, (SAGE)

#152 Medieval Weapons

Possible answers: CLUB, MACE, SPEAR, SWORD, (AXE)

#153 Filmmaking Equipment

Possible answers: BOOM, DOLLY, LENS, TRIPOD, (GRIP)

#154 Sports Professionals

Possible answers: COACH, GM, PLAYER, SCOUT, (SUB)

#154 Car Companies

Possible answers: BMW, HONDA, JAGUAR, SUBARU, (FORD), (GM)

#156 Vocal Fanfare

Possible answers: BEHOLD, PRESTO, TADA, VOILA, (SURPRISE)

#157 Magazines

Possible answers: O, OK, US, W, (EW), (SI)

#157 Yes

Possible answers: HAI, JA, SI, DA, (OK), (OUI)

#158 Animals

Possible answers: BUFFALO, DEER, FISH, MOOSE, (BULL), (STEER), (SEAL)

#160 Quick Observation

Possible answers: GANDER, GLANCE, GLIMPSE, LOOK, (PEEK)

#160 Parts of a Mountain

Possible answers: CLIFF, CRAG, LEDGE, RIDGE, (BLUFF), (PEAK)

#161 _____Day

Possible answers: EARTH, GROUNDHOG, LABOR, MAY, (BIRTH)

#162 Primates

Possible answers: BABOON, BONOBO, GIBBON, GORILLA, (APE)

#162 Fashionable

Possible answers: CHIC, HIP, HOT, IN, (VOGUE)

#164 Area Between Mountains

Possible answers: CANYON, GULCH, PASS, RAVINE, (GORGE)

#165 Food

Possible answers: PASTY, PIE, TART, TURNOVER, (PARFAIT), (RAGOUT), (CURRY)

#165 Countries

Possible answers: JAPAN, POLAND, TUNISIA, TURKEY, (JORDAN)

#166 Reality Shows

Possible answers: ALONE, CATFISH, CHOPPED, SURVIVOR, (BACHELOR)

#168 Municipalities

Possible answers: CITY, TOWN, COUNTY, VILLAGE, (CAPITAL)

#171 Parts of the Foot

Possible answers: ARCH, BALL, SOLE, TOE, (HEEL)

#171 Dog Commands

Possible answers: COME, DOWN, SIT, STAY, (HEEL)

#173 Ways to Remove Hair

Possible answers: SHAVE, THREAD, TWEEZE, WAX, (CUT)

#174 Hold Back

Possible answers: CAP, CHECK, CURB, LIMIT, (HAMPER)

#175 Excite, with "Up"

Possible answers: AMP, FIRE, HYPE, PUMP, (GAS)

#177 TV Shows

Possible answers: CHEERS, EUPHORIA, FELICITY, GLEE, (FRASIER)

#178 Found on Sheet Music

Possible answers: CLEF, NOTE, REST, STAFF, (SCALES)

#178 Zodiac Symbols

Possible answers: BULL, CRAB, SCALES, TWINS, (VIRGIN)

#180 Absolute

Possible answers: PURE, SHEER, TOTAL, UTTER, (STARK)

#180 Express

Possible answers: AIR, SPEAK, STATE, VOICE, (UTTER)

#181 Cooking Oils

Possible answers: CORN, OLIVE, PALM, PEANUT, (RICE)

#183 Luxurious Fabrics

Possible answers: CHIFFON, SILK, SATIN, VELVET, (LACE)

#185 -ough

Possible answers: BOUGH, COUGH, DOUGH, TOUGH, (ROUGH), (ENOUGH)

#189 Used to Build a Snowman

Possible answers: CARROT, COAL, SNOW, STICKS, (STONES)

#190 NYC Avenues

Possible answers: BROADWAY, FIFTH, MADISON, PARK, (SECOND), (FIRST), (ELEVENTH)

#191 Accessories

Possible answers: BELT, BRACELET, TIE, WATCH, (CHARM)

#199 Name Prefixes

Possible answers: GEN, MS, PROF, REV, (DR)

#200 Parts of a Car

Possible answers: BUMPER, HOOD, TIRE, TRUNK, (DASH)

#201 Single Letter Homophones

Possible answers: BEE, EX, GEE, JAY, (TEE)

#203 New Years-Related

Possible answers: BALL, COUNTDOWN, FIREWORKS, KISS, (PARTY), (RESOLUTION), (CHAMPAGNE)

#207 Gift-Giving Accessories

Possible answers: BOW, BOX, CARD, WRAPPING, (MESSAGE)

#210 Kinds of Exams

Possible answers: BAR, FINAL, ORAL, PHYSICAL, (EYE)

#211 Long, Skinny Objects

Possible answers: POLE, ROD, STAFF, STICK, (CLUB)

#212 Cooking Elements

Possible answers: ACID, FAT, HEAT, SALT, (PEPPER), (SMOKE)

#213 Seen at a Casino

Possible answers: CARDS, CHIPS, DICE, SLOTS, (POKER)

#213 Ways to Prepare Cheese

Possible answers: CRUMBLE, MELT, SHRED, SLICE, (GRATE)

#217 Thieve

Possible answers: PINCH, ROB, STEAL, SWIPE, (JACK)

#218 Medicine Formats

Possible answers: CAPSULE, CREAM, SYRUP, TABLET, (POD)

#221 Colors

Possible answers: BLUE, GREEN, WHITE, YELLOW, (SCARLET)

#222 Minced Oaths

Possible answers: CURSES, DARN, RATS, SHOOT, (FUDGE), (NUTS)

#224 Contains Wax

Possible answers: CANDLE, CRAYON, HONEYCOMB, SEAL, (EAR)

#229 Baseball-Related

Possible answers: BALL, BASE, BAT, GLOVE, (STRIKE)

#233 Mario Power-ups

Possible answers: FEATHER, STAR, MUSHROOM, FLOWER, (HAMMER)

#234 _____Pit

Possible answers: BARBECUE, ORCHESTRA, SNAKE, TAR, (FIRE)

#235 Make Shorter

Possible answers: CLIP, CUT, PARE, TRIM, (PRUNE)

#235 Muscular

Possible answers: BUILT, JACKED, RIPPED, SWOLE, (TRIM), (BUFF)

#237 Farm Fixtures

Possible answers: COOP, PEN, STABLE, STY, (RANGE)

#238 Unexciting

Possible answers: BORING, DULL, MUNDANE, VANILLA, (ROUTINE), (DRY)

#239 Ecclesiastical Titles

Possible answers: BISHOP, CARDINAL, PASTOR, PRIOR, (BROTHER), (LORD)

#251 Media Attention

Possible answers: COVERAGE, EXPOSURE, PRESS, PUBLICITY, (MEDIA)

#254 Little Bit of Liquid

Possible answers: BEAD, GLOB, DROP, TEAR, (DRIP)

#257 Shades of Green

Possible answers: OLIVE, FOREST, LIME, MINT, (CACTUS)

#260 Ilk

Possible answers: KIND, SORT, TYPE, VARIETY, (MANNER)

#263 Propel into the Air

Possible answers: HOP, JUMP, LEAP, SPRING, (VAULT)

#266 Large Amount

Possible answers: MASS, SEA, SLEW, TON, (WAVE)

#266 Fall under Pressure

Possible answers: BUCKLE, CAVE, COLLAPSE, GIVE, (FLOP)

#268 Pop Stars

Possible answers: GRANDE, MARS, STYLES, SWIFT, (LEGEND)

#269 Found at an Airport

Possible answers: HANGAR, RUNWAY, TARMAC, TERMINAL, (WINDSOCK)

#269 Ends in an Article of Clothing (A Mac is a raincoat)

Possible answers: FOXGLOVE, GUMSHOE, TURNCOAT, WINDSOCK, (TARMAC), (LAWSUIT)

#271 Food Preservation Techniques

Possible answers: CAN, CURE, DRY, FREEZE, (SPICE)

#272 Space_____

Possible answers: BAR, CADET, HEATER, STATION, (BLANKET)

#273 Keyboard Keys

Possible answers: COMMAND, CONTROL, OPTION, SHIFT, (SPACE)

#283 Seen at a Sports Stadium

Possible answers: ASTROTURF, JUMBOTRON, SCOREBOARD, SKYBOX, (KISSCAM), (JOURNEYMAN)

#284 Animals

Possible answers: COW, DOE, HEN, EWE, (YAK)

#284 Palindromes

Possible answers: BIB, EYE, GAG, POP, (EWE)

#285 Olympic Sports

Possible answers: BREAKING, HOCKEY, TRAMPOLINE, SKELETON, (CRICKET), (SQUASH), (VOLLEYBALL)

#289 Plant Growths

Possible answers: BLOOM, BUD, SHOOT, SPROUT, (CORONA)

#290 Quarrel

Possible answers: FIGHT, ROW, SCRAP, TIFF, (WAR)

#290 Games of Chance (Poker is technically a game of skill but it's still highly associated with chance)

Possible answers: BINGO, LOTTERY, ROULETTE, WAR, (POKER)

#291 Whale Species

Possible answers: BLUE, FIN, GRAY, RIGHT, (PILOT)

#293 Food Preservation Techniques

Possible answers: CANS, CURES, SALTS, SMOKES, (JAMS), (PICKLES)

#296 Thrust

Possible answers: JAB, POKE, PROD, STICK, (ELBOW)

#301 _____Horse

Possible answers: CHARLEY, CRAZY, DARK, GIFT, (PRIZE)

#302 Brief Moment

Possible answers: FLASH, HEARTBEAT, JIFF, WINK, (ZIP)

#302 Dispute

Possible answers: CLASH, TANGLE, SCRAP, TIFF, (SPAT)

#303 Hair Care Items

Possible answers: BRUSH, COMB, DRYER, IRON, (OIL)

#307 Seen at the Circus

Possible answers: CLOWN, RING, TENT, TRAPEZE, (LION)

#310 Parts of a Theatre

Possible answers: BALCONY, BOX, ORCHESTRA, STAGE, (FLOOR)

#312 Golden_____

Possible answers: FLEECE, GIRLS, PARACHUTE, RULE, (MEAN)

#315 Starting with the Same Sound

Possible answers: CYMBAL, SCIMITAR, SIMMER, SYMPHONY, (SYMBOL)

#318 Mexican Food-Related

Possible answers: CILANTRO, LIME, ONION, SALSA, (PICO), (WRAP), (MOLE)

#328 _____Sale

Possible answers: BAKE, CLEARANCE, GARAGE, SAMPLE, (YARD)

#329 Enjoy

Possible answers: FANCY, LOVE, RELISH, SAVOR, (LIKE)

#330 Quantity

Possible answers: FEW, MANY, SEVERAL, SOME, (COUPLE), (HANDFUL)

#333 Restrict

Possible answers: CHECK, CONTAIN, CURB, LIMIT, (CAP)

#339 Forthright

Possible answers: DIRECT, FRANK, OPEN, STRAIGHT, (PLAIN)

#342 Games

Possible answers: CATEGORIES, CHARADES, FISHBOWL, WEREWOLF, (MOUSETRAP)

#345 Billiards-Related

Possible answers: BALL, CHALK, CUE, RACK, (POCKET)

#348 Things You can Crack

Possible answers: EGG, KNUCKLES, SMILE, WINDOW, (CORN)

#351 _____Iron

Possible answers: PUMP, STEAM, TIRE, WAFFLE, (FLAT)

#355 Things People Shake

Possible answers: HANDS, MARACA, POLAROID, SNOWGLOBE, (BODY)

EDITED: I got my answer. Thanks guys!
So i'm in DE and my DE employer is offering these types of benefits as my medical insurance...
(Critical Illness insurance)
https://cdn2.corestream.com/6a4d00e3-04f7-43d2-7869-08dbdb00fb7e/246156%20-%20MetLife%20Illinois%20Employer%20Trust%20-%20Critical%20Ilnness%2019%20AA%20Plan%20Summary%20-%20revised%2012.7.23.pdf

Disclaimer (for Critical Illness insurance)

\ Please review the certificate for specific information about cancer benefits. In most states, not all types of cancer are covered. *\* The Heart Attack Covered Condition pays a benefit for the occurrence of a myocardial infarction, subject to the terms of the certificate. A myocardial infarction does not include sudden cardiac arrest. *\** In certain states, the Covered Condition is Severe Stroke. *\*** Please review the Disclosure Document or Outline of Coverage/Disclosure Document for information on which Covered Condition may be eligible for a Recurrence Benefit. There may be a Benefit Suspension Period between recurrences of the same Covered Condition, as well as occurrences of different Covered Conditions. There may be a limitation on the number of Recurrence Benefits payable per Covered Condition. We will not pay a benefit for a Covered Condition that is subject to a Benefit Suspension Period. If a Recurrence Benefit is payable for a Cancer Covered Condition, we will not pay such benefit unless the Covered Person has not had symptoms of or been treated for the same cancer for which we paid a benefit during the Treatment Free Period. *\**** Coverage is guaranteed provided (1) the employee is actively at work and (2) dependents are not subject to medical restrictions as set forth on the enrollment form and in the Certificate.* \***** Eligibility for portability through the Continuation of Insurance with Premium Payment provision may be subject to certain eligibility requirements and limitations. For more information, contact your MetLife representative. *Some states require the insured to have medical coverage. METLIFE CRITICAL ILLNESS INSURANCE (CII) IS A LIMITED BENEFIT GROUP INSURANCE POLICY. Like most group accident and health insurance policies, MetLife's CII policies contain certain exclusions, limitations and terms for keeping them in force. Product features and availability vary by state. There may be a preexisting condition exclusion. There may be a Benefit Reduction Due to Age provision. There may be a Benefit Suspension Period between recurrences of the same Covered Condition or occurrences of different Covered Conditions. MetLife offers CII on both an Attained Age basis, where rates will increase when a Covered Person reaches a new age band, and an Issue Age basis, where rates will not increase due to age. Rates are subject to change. MetLife reserves the right to raise premium rates for Issue Age CII on a class-wide basis. A more detailed description of the benefits, limitations, and exclusions applicable to MetLife’s CII product can be found in the applicable Disclosure Statement or Outline of Coverage/Disclosure Document available at time of enrollment. For complete details of coverage and availability, please refer to the group policy form GPNP07-CI, GPNP09-CI, GPNP10-CI, GPNP14-CI, GPNP19-CI or contact MetLife for more information. Please contact MetLife for more information. Benefits are underwritten by Metropolitan Life Insurance Company, New York, New York. MetLife's Critical Illness Insurance is not intended to be a substitute for Medical Coverage providing benefits for medical treatment, including hospital, surgical and medical expenses. MetLife's Critical Illness Insurance does not provide reimbursement for such expenses.
(Accident insurance)
https://cdn2.corestream.com/6a4d00e3-04f7-43d2-7869-08dbdb00fb7e/246156%20-%20MetLife_Paychex%20Corestream-%20Accident%2016%20Plan%20Summary.pdf

Disclaimer (for accident insurance)

¹ Chip fractures are paid at 25% of Fracture Benefit and partial dislocations are paid at 25% of Dislocation Benefit. ² Covered services/treatments must be the result of an accident or sickness as defined in the group policy/certificate. See your Disclosure Statement or Outline of Coverage/Disclosure Document for more details. ³ Coverage is guaranteed provided (1) the employee is actively at work and (2) dependents to be covered are not subject to medical restrictions as set forth on the enrollment form and in the Certificate. Some states require the insured to have medical coverage. Additional restrictions apply to dependents serving in the armed forces or living overseas. ⁴ Eligibility for portability through the Continuation of Insurance with Premium Payment provision may be subject to certain eligibility requirements and limitations. For more information, contact your MetLife representative.
METLIFE’S ACCIDENT INSURANCE IS A LIMITED BENEFIT GROUP INSURANCE POLICY. The policy is not intended to be a substitute for medical coverage and certain states may require the insured to have medical coverage to enroll for the coverage. The policy or its provisions may vary or be unavailable in some states. There are benefit reductions that begin at age 65, if applicable. Like most group accident and health insurance policies, policies offered by MetLife may include waiting periods and contain certain exclusions, limitations and terms for keeping them in force. For complete details of coverage and availability, please refer to the group policy form GPNP12-AX or contact MetLife. Benefits are underwritten by Metropolitan Life Insurance Company, New York, NY. Hospital does not include certain facilities such as nursing homes, convalescent care or extended care facilities.
(Term Life Insurance)
https://cdn2.corestream.com/6a4d00e3-04f7-43d2-7869-08dbdb00fb7e/246156%20-%20MetLife%20Illinois%20Employer%20Trust%20-%20Supplemental%20Life%20wADD%20Plan%20Summary%20-%20updated%203.14.24.pdf

Disclaimer (for TL Insurance)

1. Included with Supplemental Life Insurance. Will Preparation Services are offered by MetLife Legal Plans, Inc, Cleveland, Ohio. In certain states, legal services benefits are provided through insurance coverage underwritten by Metropolitan General Insurance Company Warwick, Rhode Island. For New York-sitused cases, Will Preparation Services are an expanded offering that includes office consultations and telephone advice for certain other legal matters beyond will preparation. Tax planning and preparation of living trusts are not covered by Will Preparation Services.
2. Included with Supplemental Life Insurance. Estate Resolution Services are offered by MetLife Legal Plans, Inc., Cleveland, Ohio. In certain states, legal services benefits are provided through insurance coverage underwritten by Metropolitan General Insurance Company Warwick, Rhode Island. Certain services are not covered by Estate Resolution Services, including matters in which there is a conflict of interest between the executor and any beneficiary or heir and the estate; any disputes with the group policyholder, MetLife and/or any of its affiliates; any disputes involving statutory benefits; will contests or litigation outside probate court; appeals; court costs, filing fees, recording fees, transcripts, witness fees, expenses to a third party, judgments or fines; and frivolous or unethical matters.
3. All coverage amounts are subject to applicable state laws. To take advantage of this benefit, coverage of at least $10,000 or $20,000 must be elected.
In general, death benefits are received income tax-free.
Services and discounts are provided through a member of the Dignity Memorial® Network, a brand name used to identify a network of licensed funeral, cremation and cemetery providers that are affiliates of Service Corporation International (together with its affiliates, “SCI”), 1929 Allen Parkway, Houston, Texas. The online planning site is provided by SCI Shared Resources, LLC. SCI is not affiliated with MetLife, and the services provided by Dignity Memorial members are separate and apart from the insurance provided by MetLife. Not available in some states. Planning services, expert assistance, and bereavement travel services are available to anyone regardless of affiliation with MetLife. Discounts through Dignity Memorial’s network of funeral providers are pre-negotiated. Not available where prohibited by law. The discount is available for services offered in any state except KY and NY, or where there is no Dignity Memorial presence (AK, MT, ND, SD, and WY). For MI and TN, the discount is available for “At Need” services only. For coverage issued under a multiple-employer trust, services are not available for WA residents.
(Hospital Indemnity Insurance)
https://cdn2.corestream.com/6a4d00e3-04f7-43d2-7869-08dbdb00fb7e/246156%20-%20MetLife_Paychex%20Corestream%20-%20Hospital%2016%20Plan%20Summary.pdf

Disclaimer (for HI Insurance)

\ When plan incudes an Admission Benefit, the Confinement begins on Day 2. *\* The Admission Benefit is not payable for Emergency Room treatment or outpatient treatment. The payment of the admission benefit requires a Confinement. Hospital Confinement requires the assignment to a bed as a resident inpatient in a Hospital (including an Intensive Care Unit of a Hospital) on the advice of a Physician or confinement in an observation area within a Hospital for a period of no less than 20 continuous hours on the advice of a Physician. Please consult your Certificate for details. *\** Coverage is guaranteed provided (1) the employee is actively at work and (2) dependents to be covered are not subject to medical restrictions as set forth in the Certificate. Some states require the insured to have medical coverage. Additional restrictions apply to dependents serving in the armed forces or living overseas.*
Hospital does not include certain facilities such as nursing homes, convalescent care or extended care facilities. See your Disclosure Statement or Outline of Coverage/Disclosure Document for full details. Covered services/treatments must be the result of a covered accident or sickness as defined in the group policy/certificate. There is a pre-existing exclusion for covered sicknesses. See your Disclosure Statement or Outline of Coverage/Disclosure Document for full details. Eligibility for portability through the Continuation of Insurance with Premium Payment provision may be subject to certain eligibility requirements and limitations. For more information, contact your MetLife representative.
METLIFE’S HOSPITAL INDEMNITY INSURANCE IS A LIMITED BENEFIT GROUP INSURANCE POLICY. The policy is not intended to be a substitute for medical coverage and certain states may require the insured to have medical coverage to enroll for the coverage. The policy or its provisions may vary or be unavailable in some states. Prior hospital confinement may be required to receive certain benefits. There may be a preexisting condition limitation for hospital sickness benefits. MetLife's Hospital Indemnity Insurance may be subject to benefit reductions that begin at age 65. Like most group accident and health insurance policies, policies offered by MetLife may contain certain exclusions, limitations and terms for keeping them in force. For complete details of coverage and availability, please refer to the group policy form GPNP12-AX, GPNP13-HI, GPNP16-HI or GPNP12-AX-PASG or contact MetLife. Benefits are underwritten by Metropolitan Life Insurance Company, New York, New York. In certain states, availability of MetLife’s Group Hospital Indemnity Insurance is pending regulatory approval. Hospital does not include certain facilities such as nursing homes, convalescent care or extended care facilities. See your Disclosure Statement or Outline of Coverage/Disclosure Document for full details.
I'm only getting paid 18/hr and I do have my Obamacare insurance both with in/out of network coverage that's ACA compliant...idk if any of these are ACA compliant AND covers PEConditions or even meets MEC...all of these coverages put together costs me $75/month out of my paychecks...so can I keep my Obamacare? Employer said if I don't pickup their "medical insurance". I get free dental and vision coverage instead...I have until June 20th to elect these coverages, pls help me decide if this is decent medical coverage, thank you.
EDITED: I got my answer. Thanks guys!

Saw the post earlier focusing on Taylor’s band’s rxn to the pronoun change. I’m firmly in the camps of “they are clearly reacting to smth she sang, it was not the original lyrics” and “that’s a clear ‘she’ll’.”
I see mainly two reasons for the opposing view, one is thinking they misheard bc the change wouldn’t make sense within the context of the song; the other thinking the band was reacting that way bc that part of the song was referring to her band. Alright, so mostly a big part of people being unconvinced and/or convincing themselves they heard “thatch’ll” as in “that you’ll” connected together, is the context of the lyrics. Well I went through them, and let me try to convince you otherwise.
I think this song is not about her fans and her band, and if it does carry that meaning it is secondary. I think instead it is about the fight for LGBTQ+ rights or at the very least social justice, and it is describing the scenes of fierce celebrations in the wake of a huge win after a long, gruesome prolonged battle. She is both imagining herself in historic wins and in future wins. It is defiantly hopeful and written with intense pride.
“I said ‘remember this moment’ / In the back of my mind / The time we stood with our shaking hands / The crowds in stands went wild / We were the kings and the queens / And they read off our names / The night you danced like you knew our lives / Would never be the same / You held your head like a hero / On a history book page / It was the end of a decade / But the start of an age”
Imagine from the perspective of one of these social rights fighters. She says to remember this moment in the back of her mind. Telling herself to remember every second of this historic moment. She stands on a stage with her fellow comrades, exhilaration and heightened emotions in shaking hands held together, accepting cheers from the crowd. Someone announces them, and they step in the limelight as faces of the fight, champions of their people they fought for. On another stage, the name of this collective of people as a whole is read off from a page as it is signed, solidifying their rights in law.
That night that people all danced in revelry and vindication, knowing their lives had changed forever, for the better, at that moment. They held their heads high, proud of their joint achievements, all heroes of the fight. Photos are snapped commemorating the moment, and the scene is immortalized on a history page. “It was the end of a decade, but the start of an age.” This could mean so many things, but as I’m going in with a preconceived notion, I am listing the LGBTQ+ wins. Mind, I only have to prove the LGBTQ+ rights version as one possible interpretation for this song, not as the sole possibility. That possibility combined with who we think she is paints a pretty sure picture. Per CNN,
1969 - Stonewall happens, becomes impetus for the gay civil rights movement in the US. The next year LGBTQ+ members march through NYC in recognition of it. This was the Christopher Street Liberation Day and now considered the first gay pride parade.
1978 - Gilbert Baker designs and stitches together the first rainbow flag, inspired by Harvey Milk, the first openly gay man elected to a political office in San Francisco, CA. He was, to my understanding, the most important gay political figure then. Who was less than a year later murdered along with the mayor in the city hall. The shooter served five years for voluntary manslaughter.
1979 - The first National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay rights takes place.
1988 - The first National Coming Out Day is observed.
1996 - Hawaii’s Judge Kevin Chang rules that the state has no legal right to deny same-sex couples of the right to marry. The first state to do so. Directly conflicting the Defense of Marriage Act Clinton just signed, banning same-sex marriage recognition.
1997 - Ellen comes out on the cover of Time, her leading tv show character coming out shortly after on national television.
1998 - Coretta Scott King, widow of Martin Luther King Jr., asks the civil rights community to join in the fight against homophobia. Mathew Shepard was hate-crimed and later died from his injuries. The case sparked nationwide condemnation and calls to pass hate crime legislation. The death was far from a win but the nationwide support was.
2008 - The California Supreme Court rules limiting marriage to opposite-sex couples unconstitutional, two years after New Jersey’s ruled that marriage rights must be provided to same-sex couples.
2009 - Harvey Milk is awarded the Medal of Freedom posthumously.
2009 - Matthew Shepard and James Byrd Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act is signed into law.
Take your pick of your “end of the decade” that started an age.
“Long live the walls we crashed through / How the kingdom lights shined just for me and you / I was screaming, "Long live all the magic we made" / And bring on all the pretenders / One day we will be remembered”
“…And bring on all the pretenders, I'm not afraid / Long live all the mountains we moved / I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you / I was screaming, "Long live that look on your face" / And bring on all the pretenders / One day we will be remembered”
This should all be self-explanatory with this lens, but let me also point out that “the pretenders” can mean all the assholes insisting on restricting rights of certain groups of people “for the greater good,” often for their own gain of maintaining illusions of control in their own lives, or maintaining control of crowds. People need to feel in control of situations they perceive as effecting them, need a scapegoat to blame when things are bad, and time and time again marginalized/minority groups are offered up on a platter.
“I said, ‘Remember this feeling’ / I passed the pictures around / Of all the years that we stood there on the sidelines / Wishing for right now / We are the kings and the queens / You traded your baseball cap for a crown / When they gave us our trophies / And we held them up for our town / And the cynics were outraged / Screaming, ‘This is absurd’ / ‘Cause for a moment, a band of thieves / In ripped up jeans got to rule the world”
“We stood there on the side lines,” said every marginalized group ever; said every bystander ever. It’s simultaneously an anguished cry of vindicated pain and a scathing accusation. The oppressed wished then for center stage with an amplified voice, for “right now.” Traded the “baseball cap,” part of the wlw dress code, for a crown lol. Held up the trophies for all the narrow-minded small towns, and the cynics angry at everything bc they couldn’t regulate personal emotions and had to blame someone, screamed, “This is absurd!” Bc apparently the thieves stole rights they didn’t deserve, in their eyes. But yeah? Well then this band of thieves in ripped jeans ruled the world that moment, spineless scums. We rule. Deal with it.
Now the pronoun change in question,
“Hold on to spinning around / Confetti falls to the ground / May these memories break our fall
Will you take a moment? / Promise me this / That you'll stand by me forever / But if, God forbid, fate should step in / And force us into a goodbye / If you have children someday / When they point to the pictures / Please tell them my name / Tell them how the crowds went wild /Tell them how I hope they shine
Long live the walls we crashed through / I had the time of my life with you”
She asks to take a moment amid the celebrations, perhaps speaking to her partner or comrades. Asks that they promise to be with her forever or at least one day pass this history, this hard-won victory, along to the next generation, and tell them of the hopes for future generations they had then. If life ever makes them drift apart or takes away one of them too early, she wants this and each of their parts in it remembered and passed down. Long Live the worthwhile fight and every breakthrough, she had a hell of a time living and fighting with them.
The change of lyrics was “Promise me this / That she’ll stand by me forever.” Now does “she” make sense here? Maybe not entirely grammatically correct without changing the whole verse into third person narrating, if you assume “you” is the lover. But what if “you” is all the queers (edit: and allies! Sorry didn’t mean to leave you out) fighting for the same goals? Then it would make sense for her to say “Promise me, the queer collective and allies, that she—my love—will stand forever by me, but if god forbid she does not, then pass down our story, me with her this moment, along with this historic victory.” It doesn’t even have to fit perfectly in the song for it to be a possible choice for a pronoun change, seeing as the whole thing is about fighting for LGBTQ+ rights. Edit: Alternatively, she could be saying, “Promise me, queers/allies, that in your minds I will always come in tandem with my queerness. That when you imagine me with someone it will always be with a female. If god forbid my spotlight dims and the fandom fades, or if I am taken too soon, pass it all down.”
Let’s let this song join the ranks of her comrades, give back her rightful place as an aggressively hopeful war cry, along with “Change” and “Only The Young.” One day, we will be remembered.
And if you want your tears jerked, think of how this song is between “Last Kiss” and “Ours” on Speak Now. If you want a really good cry, consider the vault track from this same album, “Castles Crumbling”. And if you want to be absolutely decimated emotionally, recall the highly speculated failed coming out—Lover, 2019. And the rumored conflict with her label over the queerness of the album Speak Now, 2010.
Oh how “the decade would play us for fools.”

My grandma has been diagnosed with unspecified dementia, her symptoms are mild. Unfortunately, getting insurance to cover demenita related care is an uphill battle and generally it is provided as a response not proactively or preventative measure.
My family is under the impression as a doctor I can make it seem like my grandma's condition and circumstances are worse than currently present to prove medical necessity. They have told me this is what Medicaid planners have advised them to do because otherwise options aviabile will be limited to waiting until she gets worse or family funds the care they desire privately or through time.
My grandma does have Medicaid, so my family is asking me to write or find someone willing to show that 24/7 care is medically needed, and she toes that line where her needs can be met while still residing in the community. I have expressed I am not willing to commit fraud and they just have to go through the proper channels and follow the same protocol as everyone else.
Been thinking about, I had a long conversation with my brother about this and he understood where I am coming from but he also felt I was being rather inconsiderate to our families situation. He explained she will get worse sooner or later what difference does it matter if she gets the services she needs now rather than later.
He is right, but I just don't feel comfortable lying like that. I also explained it is not as simple as me just writing a letter, if they ask for additional information I will have to provide some clinical evidence to support said evaluation.
Now, yes I do know of colleagues that have done similar things, and while I will not report them for doing what they felt they needed to do for their family. I personally am not comfortable going that far.
I just cannot help but feel like a jerk for not even trying to do something they could allow my grandma to stay in her home longer and safer.

"My son grew up knowing his parentage and history. And I'm proud of that." -Veronica Vasquez, Mother of Henrique
"He's weird. But I love him." -Miguel Vasquez, brother of Henrique

Name

Henrique Aaron Vasquez

Nickname

Henry

Heritage

Son of Vulcan, Legacy of Mars

Age

14 ("And a half." -Henrique)

Birthday

July 17, 20XX

Identification

*Male , he/him , bisexual

Appearance

The boy is tall for his age, at 5'11", for sure. His mocha colored skin has pink burn scars in many places, interestingly enough. His hair is a reddish brown with burnt toast colored ends. His eyes are a deep, dark brown that appear orange in the light. There's a star shaped birthmark on his neck and a large mole right between his eyebrows. His septum ring is a copper color that compliments his skin color well. He always wears the fire pendant his mother made him, it's a special keepsake (especially since he kind of ditched her in a way for wolves) he always appears tired (though he isnt) and his hands are covered in callouses.

Personality

"He's a very serious young man. But when he has a soft spot for you..? That smile comes right out." -Veronica Vasquez
Henrique is very set in his ways and is a very hard worker. He doesn't give up and seems colder when you first meet him. He cares deeply for his family and friends, but cares not about hid physical appearance. He gets angry often.

Style

"Physical Appearance doesn't matter. Not to me, anyway." -Henrique Vasquez
*He's usually caught wear darker, warmer colors. Things like black, red, brown, orange, mostly in darker shades. 90% of the time, he wears dark jeans, a large, baggy hoodie or shirt, and tunic style shirts. He always wears the same shoes: dirty steel toed boots. His hair is unkempt and messy, though it's actually brushed. He has a pair of aviator goggles that he constantly wears, either on his face or ontop of his head. He has an apron that he keeps folded up in his pocket. Henrique constantly wears leather bracelets; and a hairtie around his wrist to be ready.

Powers

-Passive:
(Passive powers from beta powerlist)
-Active:

Background

Henrique grew up in Florida with his mother and older half-brother, Miguel, where he went to a private school focused on engineering and building. He was always aware of his heritage/parentage, though he didn't care much. It was just another useless fact about himself that he found boring. His mother always was telling him things along the lines of "you're destined for great things," and whatnot, but Henrique just brushed it off. He would rather just build things and listen to his hard rock music. That was the routine. Wake up, go to school or whatever, come home, grab a drink, then right out to his workshop in the garage. When he wasn't following routine, he was at his best friend's house. His best friend, Corey, just so happened to also have a workshop of sorts, where the two would work into the night on random projects. Once, they built an entire (small) train. If he wasn't with Corey, he was with Ollie and the two usually spent their time cooking and eating. Then? On his 14th birthday, Henry started hearing noises. He was curious, went to explore, and wound up training with Lupa. And now, here he is, at Camp Jupiter.

Family

"Henrique Vasquez has a small family,simple and cozy." - Henrique's shop instructor, Mr. Davis
Veronica Vasquez - Mother, 38, lover of all things blue, good relationship with her sons, divorced
Miguel Vasquez - Half brother, 17, good relationship with Henry, sportsy kid
Baxter - dog,, Grew up with Henrique as his primary caretaker and friend, 3 years old, Dalmatian, loves to cuddle up to Henrh at night.

Extras

Conundrums:
"My son is amazing, but he does have his.. issues." -Veronica Vazquez
-He grew up with diabetes, but he deals with it well and handles his own medical care for it. He's never needed his mother's help with it.
-henry's left leg, thigh and down, is a prosthetic and 99% of the time he walks with a cane, it was how he was born.
Habits:
~Nail Biting (nervous)
~Hair Chewing (Childhood habit)
~Excessive Goggles Cleaning (embarrassed or flustered)
~Hard white knuckle grip (Angry or nervous)
~Cane tapping (Nervous)

Friends

Corey - best friend, engineering shop partner
Ollie - lunch table buddy, the two are prosthetic buddies as well [his arm]
Julia - Has a crush on Henry, Corey's sister

Favorites

Food : Tamales
Drink : Black Coffee
Band : Rage Against The Machine
Color : Burnt Orange
Place : His Workshop
Song : Killing In The Name
Animal : Dalmatians
Style : Steampunk

Present Time

Henrique's arrival at Camp Jupiter's 'doorstep' was not too far from what he expected. He didn't have high hopes for it anyway. Lupa sure wasn't much help in getting there, and he'd only gotten to sit when riding the bus if he'd lifted his pant leg so that someone would let him sit. Stupid people with their, 'Go give your grandma her cane back, kiddo,' bullcrap. If a guy's got a cane, just give the poor guy a seat. Or atleast don't be a bitch about it. Henrique stood, or, leaned, near the camp's main building, fidgeting with a few cogs he'd been carrying around. This place is almost as weird as the wolf house, Henry tells himself silently, eyeing the passing people. He grasped his cane and righted his stance, well,, as right as his hobbling stance can be.