Funny things to put for bio on facebook
cracker bargel
2013.02.20 23:58 cosmosclover cracker bargel
2011.05.12 04:24 ThaRealGaryOak Bioshock
This subreddit is dedicated to the BioShock game series.
2017.03.02 06:20 SpareLiver Beans In Things That Beans Shouldn't Be In
Post pictures of beans in things that beans shouldn't be in. Inspired by, but no direct connection to the [Facebook group](https://www.facebook.com/BeansInThingsThatBeansShouldntBeIn/)
2024.05.19 07:09 NoChallenge3078 No one to tell
So my 3 year old has been diagnosed on the spectrum for Autism. He was non verbal up until about 4-6 months ago now he is using full sentences and explaining things he sees. Overall huge improvement and the child 100% understands English and Arabic and will answer in both languages. So last night we were winding down before bed time. I was straightening up in the kitchen and cleaning up his toys when he wouldn’t let me put one of his trucks away. This truck came with a small screw driver and you can unscrew the screws and take it apart. Now what is interesting over 45 minutes I watched him take all the screws out and take the whole thing apart. Then he put everything back together and screwed all of them back in place. Then repeated the process 2 more times. I asked him if he needed help which he told me no. I don’t know why this little thing made me so deeply proud of him and I just had this realization that I had no one to share this amazing thing that he had done. I can’t message his dad, he would say good job then kind of shrug it off like he does most things. So I just wanted to share this moment with someone. Before anyone asks I love my son no matter what and I understand what it means to have autism. His dad however is one of the types of people that says we can cure it and he will be normal. I say this because for this small thing is major in his development and that is why I know his dad wouldn’t even really acknowledge it.
submitted by NoChallenge3078 to Parenting [link] [comments]
2024.05.19 07:08 Kvtlii aio for how my in-laws blew up?
so! i was originally posting this for my husband on a Christian subreddit, but he and a few friends wanted me to put it here just to see what happened
the gist of it:
My in-laws, we recently found out, have been pretending to like me and lying about their approval of our relationship. We have been together for four years and married for two. We have a child on the way. This just now came out.
His father is a crippling alcoholic. He would regularly beat his mother when my husband was a child and has, to this day, chosen to spend money on alcohol instead of food to feed his family or pets. They regularly came to us asking for either dog food or dinner because they literally had nothing. They owe over 3k to his grandfather from how often they borrow money. His mother would verbally abuse him and his brother, and neglect them because she refused to go to doctors for chronic pain and hormonal issues, and would blow up instead. To the point he once walked around on a broken ankle for months because she thought he was being overdramatic. He was ten when that happened. The only reason it was treated is because his grandfather saw how swollen it was and took him to the ER.
This came to a head when we decided we didn’t want our child to be exposed to that. We tried talking, and somehow it all exploded from there. I will admit I said things that were not appropriate, and my husband did too. If I have a chance to apologize for how I handled it I want too, but I was also threatened and know if I try to contact on social media I will be written very nastily to. But we found out a LOT they have been lying about.
1) they think I was being overdramatic about a miscarriage, and had actually just started my period. I was told this while simultaneously being cussed out. I had a miscarriage!! This is where I started shouting if I’m honest. Should I have, absolutely not, and I regret it now because it only escalated things.
2) I have somehow destroyed this family and my husband didn’t have a problem with anything until he met me. This is literally, factually incorrect. They have several times driven him to attempt to take his life before he had ever met me. His father would regularly mock him for attending therapy as an adult too. He would also insult and mock any interests he had, ANYTHING.
3) Neither of us are allowed to dictate who our child is around, because we aren’t “in charge” of the family and my husband is, according to his father, “a hypocrite who is too soft and isn’t acting like a man.” for trying to talk about how his childhood impacted him. He was then told all of his childhood was in his head and that he needed to figure it out himself. Because my FIL didn’t throw him into walls and beat him.
4) Neither of them have ever liked me, and accused me of using my husband for money and manipulating him into being a liberal. I am not a liberal. I have never been a liberal. Literally don’t even know where they got that from. The only idea I have is that they think me not wanting them to insult all of my husband’s hobbies is somehow making him too soft and therefore a liberal? Or that I don’t like when they randomly start talking about how much they hate gay people and think they’re child molestors?? I feel that’s a normal response from ANYONE. I’ve literally never discussed politics with them if you don’t count me not wanting to listen to that political?
5) We were then essentially kicked out from a family home that was near theres. I was told that only my husband would be allowed back, and that I would never be allowed near them again. They do not know I am pregnant, at this point I’m 5 weeks 6 day, and sincerely worried about how the stress might have impacted my baby. We found out his brother has never liked me either, but refuses to say why. Please note he is a huge mama’s boy, so I’m honestly suspicious that she’s been talking about me for a lot longer than we think.
So! I will be honest, if they hold that view of me I have no qualms not speaking to them. I will add that they both claim to be Christian, but are alcoholics, pop pills, cuss regularly, and have never discussed God, church, or even attended church in over 15 years. The few times I’ve heard them talk about God have been to try and get their own way, or to discuss the end times. They are essentially Christian by word and not action.
My husband hasn’t spoken to his mother at all, and when he tried to talk to his father again was essentially guilt tripped and lied to again. My FIL told him he was contemplating suicide since he was gone, and when my husband told him he was happier on our own, was then told his father was doing better without him too and to never expect any contact from him again. Anything my MIL has texted has boiled down to insulting me and telling him he’ll come crawling back eventually, so he obviously hasn’t responded.
submitted by Kvtlii to AmIOverreacting [link] [comments]
the gist of it:
My in-laws, we recently found out, have been pretending to like me and lying about their approval of our relationship. We have been together for four years and married for two. We have a child on the way. This just now came out.
His father is a crippling alcoholic. He would regularly beat his mother when my husband was a child and has, to this day, chosen to spend money on alcohol instead of food to feed his family or pets. They regularly came to us asking for either dog food or dinner because they literally had nothing. They owe over 3k to his grandfather from how often they borrow money. His mother would verbally abuse him and his brother, and neglect them because she refused to go to doctors for chronic pain and hormonal issues, and would blow up instead. To the point he once walked around on a broken ankle for months because she thought he was being overdramatic. He was ten when that happened. The only reason it was treated is because his grandfather saw how swollen it was and took him to the ER.
This came to a head when we decided we didn’t want our child to be exposed to that. We tried talking, and somehow it all exploded from there. I will admit I said things that were not appropriate, and my husband did too. If I have a chance to apologize for how I handled it I want too, but I was also threatened and know if I try to contact on social media I will be written very nastily to. But we found out a LOT they have been lying about.
1) they think I was being overdramatic about a miscarriage, and had actually just started my period. I was told this while simultaneously being cussed out. I had a miscarriage!! This is where I started shouting if I’m honest. Should I have, absolutely not, and I regret it now because it only escalated things.
2) I have somehow destroyed this family and my husband didn’t have a problem with anything until he met me. This is literally, factually incorrect. They have several times driven him to attempt to take his life before he had ever met me. His father would regularly mock him for attending therapy as an adult too. He would also insult and mock any interests he had, ANYTHING.
3) Neither of us are allowed to dictate who our child is around, because we aren’t “in charge” of the family and my husband is, according to his father, “a hypocrite who is too soft and isn’t acting like a man.” for trying to talk about how his childhood impacted him. He was then told all of his childhood was in his head and that he needed to figure it out himself. Because my FIL didn’t throw him into walls and beat him.
4) Neither of them have ever liked me, and accused me of using my husband for money and manipulating him into being a liberal. I am not a liberal. I have never been a liberal. Literally don’t even know where they got that from. The only idea I have is that they think me not wanting them to insult all of my husband’s hobbies is somehow making him too soft and therefore a liberal? Or that I don’t like when they randomly start talking about how much they hate gay people and think they’re child molestors?? I feel that’s a normal response from ANYONE. I’ve literally never discussed politics with them if you don’t count me not wanting to listen to that political?
5) We were then essentially kicked out from a family home that was near theres. I was told that only my husband would be allowed back, and that I would never be allowed near them again. They do not know I am pregnant, at this point I’m 5 weeks 6 day, and sincerely worried about how the stress might have impacted my baby. We found out his brother has never liked me either, but refuses to say why. Please note he is a huge mama’s boy, so I’m honestly suspicious that she’s been talking about me for a lot longer than we think.
So! I will be honest, if they hold that view of me I have no qualms not speaking to them. I will add that they both claim to be Christian, but are alcoholics, pop pills, cuss regularly, and have never discussed God, church, or even attended church in over 15 years. The few times I’ve heard them talk about God have been to try and get their own way, or to discuss the end times. They are essentially Christian by word and not action.
My husband hasn’t spoken to his mother at all, and when he tried to talk to his father again was essentially guilt tripped and lied to again. My FIL told him he was contemplating suicide since he was gone, and when my husband told him he was happier on our own, was then told his father was doing better without him too and to never expect any contact from him again. Anything my MIL has texted has boiled down to insulting me and telling him he’ll come crawling back eventually, so he obviously hasn’t responded.
2024.05.19 07:07 Stage-Piercing727 Best Canvas Gym Bags
 | submitted by Stage-Piercing727 to u/Stage-Piercing727 [link] [comments] https://preview.redd.it/2pninai3gb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=265f4aea2315e62196c9c90b972c1c04b780af35 Looking for a stylish and durable gym bag? Look no further! In this article, we bring you a comprehensive roundup of the best canvas gym bags available today. Whether you're a fitness enthusiast or a casual gym-goer, these bags are designed to provide ample storage, comfort, and convenience during your workout sessions. So if you're in the market for a reliable workout companion, read on to find the perfect canvas gym bag for your needs. From stylish and functional designs to lightweight and spacious options, our selection of canvas gym bags caters to every preferences and requirements. Discover the top-rated options and make an informed decision on the perfect bag to accompany you throughout your fitness journey. The Top 13 Best Canvas Gym Bags
Reviews🔗Premium Waxed Canvas Duffel Bag for Outdoor Adventureshttps://preview.redd.it/vx6u6dy3gb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=21ff96d9424931d91ff36ecb6deb90ccdeef3196 I recently had the chance to test out the Readywares Waxed Canvas Duffel Bag on a camping trip, and it truly exceeded my expectations. The first thing that caught my eye was its timeless design and high-quality waxed canvas construction. It's no wonder this bag has a rating of 4.7 out of 5, as users consistently rave about its craftsmanship. Before my trip, I was a little concerned about the stiffness of the waxed canvas, but it quickly softened up as I loaded it with my camping gear. I particularly appreciated the padded handle and base support, which made carrying the duffel bag comfortable and easy, regardless of how heavy it got. The storage options in this Readywares duffel bag are quite impressive as well. With multiple compartments, I had no trouble keeping my items organized throughout my trip. The only downside was the lack of an interior pouch, which would have been beneficial for smaller items. In conclusion, the Readywares Waxed Canvas Duffel Bag is a reliable and stylish choice for anyone in need of a high-quality carryall. Its craftsmanship, storage options, and overall size make it a perfect companion for various activities, ranging from weekend getaways to camping trips. However, it could benefit from the addition of an interior pouch to keep smaller items secure. 🔗Heavy Duty Military Canvas Duffel Baghttps://preview.redd.it/n5hpsm84gb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6c29f049e961ac7d16f8e75b3c700d555d923f8e The WHITEDUCK Hoplite Heavy Duty Military Canvas Duffel Bag in Blue is an indispensable travel companion that you can take along no matter where life leads you. This sturdy bag boasts a whopping 204L capacity, perfect for packing all your essentials for a weekend getaway or longer excursions. One of its key features is the high-quality, double-fill cotton canvas with a tight weave, ensuring durability and wear and tear resistance. The weatherproof fabric is reinforced at all stress points too, making it incredibly sturdy. Plus, the fully zipped compartment offers ample space to store larger items without any hassle. A standout feature is the heavy-duty, full-length zippers that can handle oversized and bulky items with ease. The soft and ultra-reliable cotton carry handles equipped with a Velcro tag for quick lifting and carrying add convenience. And let's not forget about the adjustable, removable padded shoulder strap for maximum comfort. The bag's versatility is another significant highlight. Whether you're going camping, using it for gym storage, or during your daily commute, the Hoplite Duffel Bag adapts seamlessly to all your needs. On the downside, some users have mentioned that the bag's dimensions can be a bit confusing initially, but after figuring it out, its performance has exceeded all expectations. In a nutshell, the WHITEDUCK Hoplite Heavy Duty Military Canvas Duffel Bag combines durability, capacity, and versatility to provide a top-notch travel experience. Its excellent workmanship gives it the robustness and longevity you desire in a duffel bag. This product is undoubtedly a worthwhile investment for those seeking a reliable travel companion. 🔗Extra Large Capacity Canvas Duffel Baghttps://preview.redd.it/fudl88o4gb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=52537af64f56bfdaa4d1f21e870515ce2e9cdc7e I recently found myself in need of a reliable and spacious bag for a camping trip, and that's when I came across the YoKelly 36 inch Canvas Duffel Bag. I have to say, this high-quality canvas duffel has been a game-changer for all my outdoor adventures since then. I was initially skeptical about the capacity given its light weight of just 1.2 lbs, but boy, was I in for a pleasant surprise. This Deluxe Canvas Duffel Bag truly delivers on its promise of a spacious 100L storage capacity, making it perfect for travel, camping, fishing, and sports as well. The high-quality canvas ensures durability and the solid stitching provides extra strength and resistance against wear and tear. Its dimensions of 36x13x13 inches are just the right size for packing all my essentials without feeling bulky or cumbersome. However, one minor drawback I noticed is that it only has one compartment for organization. While this didn't cause any major issues during my camping trip, I do wish there were additional pockets for smaller items to keep everything more organized. Overall, the YoKelly 36 inch Canvas Duffel Bag has made my life so much easier and more convenient, offering ample storage space in a lightweight, durable, and versatile package. If you're on the hunt for the perfect travel, camping, or sports bag, I highly recommend giving this duffel a try. 🔗Durable Military Canvas Duffle Bag for Long Tripshttps://preview.redd.it/j9z5erz4gb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4fbebbd6271366160de8ec3c20d4ae86a9ba5495 When I first laid my eyes on the Rothco Gi Style Canvas Double Strap Duffle Bag, I knew that it was a perfect match for my travel needs. This military-inspired bag checks all the boxes for durability, ample storage space, and versatile carrying options. Made of 22 oz heavyweight cotton canvas material, it's been built with utmost durability, making it the go-to option for all your long and short trips. The generous dimensions of 22 inches x 38 inches allow me to pack plenty of clothes and gear effortlessly. I especially love the adjustable shoulder straps and the sturdy handle for conveniently carrying it like a suitcase or a backpack. This flexibility gives me the freedom to pack even more stuff while ensuring comfort on long commutes. The additional side pocket with a snap closure is a bonus for keeping small items or travel documents organized and easily accessible. I've been using this duffle bag for everything from overnight trips to the gym and it has exceeded my expectations in every way. However, some users have reported a strong odor upon receiving the item. This can be a bit off-putting, but a couple of washes usually do the trick. The Rothco Gi Style Canvas Double Strap Duffle Bag is a smart buy for anyone looking for a reliable, large-capacity bag made from high-quality materials. Its versatile design, durability, and practical features make it an ideal choice for all your travel adventures. 🔗Steeletex Antimicrobial Gym Bag in Navyhttps://preview.redd.it/nulppjb5gb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=712cd2feb44222cbb511154d7b66cfff1e3e3e88 I recently got introduced to the Steeletex Gym Bag by Steele Canvas, and I must say, I've been thoroughly impressed with its performance and quality. The first thing that caught my eye was the unique construction material - it's not your regular canvas or nylon bag. This one has an antimicrobial vinyl coating that not only provides water resistance but also ensures easy cleaning. One of the standout features of this bag is its size. It's perfect for holding all my gym clothes, sneakers, and even my favorite water bottle. I've been using it regularly since I got it, and it has shown no signs of wear and tear yet. Speaking of which, the durability of this bag is another highlight. The 18.5 oz. antimicrobial vinyl coated nylon liner is not just water and tear-resistant, but it's also treated with BACshield, which ensures that mold, mildew, fungi, or bacteria don't get a chance to grow. The Steeletex Gym Bag also comes with a couple of convenient pockets - one inside and one outside. These have been incredibly useful for keeping my belongings organized. As for the design, the black leather hand grips add a touch of class to the overall aesthetic. Besides, the adjustable shoulder strap ensures comfort even during long gym sessions. However, there's one thing that I would've appreciated more - if they had included a mesh or ventilated pocket for storing wet clothes or shoes separately. This would have made the bag even more versatile and useful. But all in all, I've been thoroughly happy with my Steeletex Gym Bag. Its durability, size, and convenience make it an excellent companion for my daily gym visits. Plus, knowing that it's made in America by hardworking American craftsmen adds an extra layer of satisfaction to my purchase. I would highly recommend this bag to anyone looking for a reliable and high-quality gym bag. 🔗Classic Canvas Duffle Bag for Travelhttps://preview.redd.it/9p0zegu5gb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=51a81f51f1965da95f5a011d4550b16b3373c90c First off, picture yourself embarking on a weekend getaway with nothing more than this trusty Trailmaker duffel bag at your side. The 30-liter capacity ensures you'll have ample space for all your essentials - be it clothes, shoes, or even your favorite dance attire for weekend classes! And don't worry about wearing it out yet. This durable canvas bag is built to last, so you can make countless travel adventures with it. One thing I noticed about this bag is how versatile it really is. Not only does it serve as an excellent carry-on for flights, but it proved to be quite handy for daily trips to the gym as well. Its lightweight design ensures easy portability, especially when combined with its adjustable shoulder strap. Plus, the simple yet elegant design pairs well with any outfit, whether you're dressing up or down. However, there are some cons to consider. Some users reported issues with the quality of the bag, particularly the zipper which tends to jam often. The lack of compartments inside can also lead to a messy bag when overstuffed. However, considering its affordable price point and high ratings among users, these minor drawbacks seem overshadowed by the overall positive experience most reviewers have had with this bag. Overall, the Trailmaker duffel bag is a reliable choice for individuals seeking a spacious, durable, and affordable bag for travel, gym use, or everyday needs. Despite some reported issues with the zipper and lack of compartments, the majority of reviewers seem satisfied with their purchase, highlighting the immense utility and convenience offered by this bag. 🔗Classic Vintage Duffle Baghttps://preview.redd.it/vnmvuu46gb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=59daea38662ad9f1fd7434ad575680f64f8592e7 I recently had the chance to try out the Sweetbriar Classic Weekender Duffel and I must say, it's been a game-changer for my travel needs. The moment I laid my eyes on its vintage-inspired canvas design with retro rucksack vibe, I knew this bag meant serious style. One of the features that really stood out was its spacious interior. It comfortably fit all my essentials for a weekend getaway, including clothes, toiletries, and even some extras like a small travel pillow. Speaking of extras, the bag has several pockets both outside and inside, which are perfect for storing smaller items like wallets or keys. Another thing I appreciated was how easy it was to clean. I'm known for being a bit clumsy, so accidents are inevitable. But with this duffel, a damp cloth was enough to wipe away any spills or stains. However, there was one issue I encountered. The zipper closure, while sturdy and secure, was a bit tricky to navigate at times. It took me a few attempts to get it right, which felt a little frustrating. All in all, I'm quite satisfied with the Sweetbriar Classic Weekender Duffel. It's stylish, practical, and well-built, making it an ideal choice for short trips or gym sessions. It's definitely worth considering if you're in the market for a new bag. 🔗MOLLYGAN Large Capacity Canvas Gym Baghttps://preview.redd.it/dyutqkh6gb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=be53c4b16e4f4756fc1e97e0a390a28a28ed4a06 I've never been the type to travel lightly - I've always packed everything but the kitchen sink. But recently, I stumbled upon this MOLLYGAN Travel Duffel Bag, and I must say, my travel game just leveled up! The black exterior made it perfect for both genders, but what really caught my eye was the superior-quality, soft and smooth canvas material. The structure of this bag is quite impressive too. The side zipper pocket provided a separate space for my shoes (goodbye, smelly gym bag! ) whereas the spacious main compartment and small zipper pocket proved that even though the bag was large in capacity, it was well-organized. Its 35 liters capacity was more than enough to accommodate all my laptops, A4 books, clothes, and daily essentials. Whether going for a leisurely trip or a hectic gym session, this bag had my back. Measuring 18.8 x 10.2 x 11 inches, the bag was just the right size for convenience yet offered so much space. However, the product did have one hiccup, the shoulder strap. It was long and adjustable, but at times, it felt a bit too long, and the handles could have been a tad longer, making it a little harder to carry around. In conclusion, the MOLLYGAN Travel Duffel Bag has undoubtedly improved my daily travel experiences. With its large capacity, durable construction, and ample organization options, it has become a necessity for my daily activities. While it could do with a few adjustments (pun intended), it has nonetheless proven to be a reliable companion. 🔗Military-Grade Canvas Duffel Backpackhttps://preview.redd.it/mw7zj5w6gb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8834e11142011dbcdc59b5b3aca467f7739586cd I recently embarked on a weekend getaway with just the Military Duffel Backpack in tow. The modern green color added a trendy touch to my outfit, and upon closer inspection, I could see that the canvas duffel was indeed made of high-quality, water-repellent material. I felt confident that my belongings were well-protected, even in a sudden downpour. The adjustable shoulder straps came in handy as I traversed through the crowded city streets, allowing me to find the perfect fit and distributing the weight of my stuff evenly. One feature I particularly appreciated was the heavy-duty cross-stitched carrying handle. I found it incredibly useful when I wanted to switch up my carrying style and convert the backpack into a traditional duffel bag. The stainless eyelets and rugged buckles made the whole process incredibly smooth and secure. However, I did encounter a minor issue with the top clasp that held everything closed. It was slightly smaller than the holes on the flaps, so the bag wasn't completely sealed. While this didn't affect its overall performance during my trip, I did have to exercise a bit more caution to prevent anything from slipping out. To sum it up, the Military Duffel Backpack is a reliable and fashionable bag that offers ample space and thoughtful storage options. The canvas material ensures durability and water resistance, while the adjustable straps offer comfort and convenience. Although the top clasp could be slightly improved, I would definitely recommend this backpack for travelers and everyday adventurers alike! 🔗Extra Large Yoga Mat Duffel Bag with Hammockhttps://preview.redd.it/ru42be77gb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c1ca7e587c46f27f4cf6bf689a94a6466b4daee5 I've been using the Kindfolk Yoga Mat XL Duffel Bag Mesa for a few weeks now and I must say, it's been a game-changer for my daily yoga practice. The highlight of this bag is undoubtedly the ample amount of space it provides. After spending days googling 'XL yoga duffel bags', I finally decided to give this one a shot when I saw that it could fit multiple yoga mats, blocks and towels - and boy, was it true! I've never been able to bring everything I need to the studio or gym with such ease. Another thing that I absolutely love about this bag is that it's vegan and environmentally friendly. As someone who's conscious about their impact on the environment, knowing that I'm using a product that aligns with my values gives me peace of mind. Plus, for every unit sold, Kindfolk donates $1 to FITS STANDARD, a charity that helps end slavery worldwide. However, one of the cons I noticed is that the straps could be slightly longer. While it's not a deal-breaker for me, it can be a bit cumbersome when carrying it on top of everything else. All in all, I am thrilled with my purchase and would definitely recommend it to others. Not only is it spacious and stylish, but it also feels well-made and of high quality. For those looking for a reliable and environmentally-friendly bag for their yoga practice, the Kindfolk Yoga Mat XL Duffel Bag is definitely worth considering. 🔗Casual Canvas Travel Gym Bag for daily jog or triphttps://preview.redd.it/028p45j7gb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5a4272acaf25dc3fd3b5fbc710c447805a213524 Imagine this: I'm strolling down the bustling city streets, and my trusty Vagabond Traveler Casual Canvas Bag is by my side. This bag isn't just a carry-all for my gym gear; it's a statement about my sense of style and practicality. The first time I used this bag, I was blown away by its spacious interior. It holds everything I need for a workout and more, from my sneakers to my sweat towel, and even a spare change of clothes. The multiple pockets (and there are plenty) kept me organized and efficient, making my mornings just a little bit easier. The Vagabond Traveler bag's construction is a testament to its craftsmanship. This bag isn't just made to last; it's made to look good while doing it. The canvas is a beautiful shade of khaki, and the vintage brass hardware adds a touch of class. The cotton fabric is incredibly comfortable to carry, and it's clear that it's been washed and worn to achieve its classic, old-school appearance. Now, every time I strap this canvas bag onto my shoulder, I'm reminded of its many merits. It's the perfect blend of practicality, durability, and visual appeal. However, some users may find the strap too long or the lack of waterproofing a concern. But for me, these minor quibbles don't detract from the overall quality and utility of this amazing gym bag. In conclusion, the Vagabond Traveler Casual Canvas Bag has become an indispensable part of my daily life. Its combination of space, organization, and style makes it the ideal choice for anyone looking for a reliable gym bag that's both functional and fashionable. 🔗Durable Waxed Canvas Duffle Baghttps://preview.redd.it/8d14r128gb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=00e1e6a80d0c05de04d77a435dd45950627c8ac8 I recently purchased the Steele Canvas Waxed Canvas Duffle Bag for an upcoming travel adventure, and I must say, it has surpassed all of my expectations. As soon as I laid my eyes on it, I was impressed by its sleek and sturdy appearance, which instantly made me feel confident about its durability. The adjustable shoulder strap and brown leather grip handles felt comfortable against my shoulder and hands, making it a pleasure to carry around. The moment I unzipped the bag, I noticed the generous space inside, perfect for holding all of my essentials without any clutter. The two interior pockets are an added bonus, allowing me to keep my smaller items organized and easily accessible. The exterior side and end pockets have also proven to be quite useful for storing my frequently needed items. One of the key features I truly appreciated is the nickel plated zipper and pull, making it easy for me to secure my belongings without any worry about potential malfunctions. Steele Canvas has truly created a high-quality, durable bag that is sure to withstand the test of time. Despite the minor inconvenience of needing two hands to secure the zipper on the outside pocket, I believe this duffle bag is a perfect addition to my travel collection. The Steele Canvas Waxed Canvas Duffle Bag has definitely made a lasting impression on me, and I am already looking forward to using it on countless more adventures. 🔗Durable and Versatile Military-Grade Canvas Gym Baghttps://preview.redd.it/ndwsbla8gb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=23a77d45be6c0b639381d50961e59b04f7aff422 As a product reviewer, I recently got the chance to try out the Medium Duffle Bag in black, and my experience has been nothing short of exceptional. I've been using it for everything from weekend trips to gym sessions, and it's truly become a staple in my daily routine. The bag's most striking feature, hands down, is its heavy-duty construction. The double and triple-needle-stitched reinforced design not only gives it a sleek look that fits any environment but also ensures that it can handle even the heaviest loads without a hitch. I've noticed its durability in various situations - from transporting bulky sports gear to storing off-season clothing, this duffel bag has never let me down. One of the things I love about this duffel bag is how versatile it is. Made from lightweight yet durable cotton canvas, it's perfect for travel, sports, and leisure activities. Its convenient collapsible feature when not in use makes storage a breeze, and it's been especially useful during my many camping trips. Despite its size, the bag is surprisingly easy to carry around. Reinforced handles and adjustable shoulder straps make sure that I can handle even the heaviest loads comfortably. Plus, the two-way zipper and key-locking mechanism offer extra security for my belongings. However, one small area of improvement could be the weight of the bag itself. While it's definitely not a deal-breaker, considering the durability and high-quality materials used, some users might find it slightly heavier than desired. All in all, I'm extremely satisfied with my Medium Duffle Bag. Its combination of sturdy construction, versatility, and ease of use make it a worthwhile investment for anyone in need of a reliable bag for travel, sports, or everyday use. Buyer's GuideCanvas gym bags are a versatile and stylish choice for active people who prioritize functionality and quality. With the right features and construction, these bags can become an essential part of your fitness routine, ensuring that your gear stays organized and protected during workouts and commutes.Important Featureshttps://preview.redd.it/2z69m8r8gb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0448721c5b560ead176ce13e8bed48e6c0f4d72e
Considerations
General Advice
https://preview.redd.it/84isyv89gb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=eeb51bbcc7b25a80254804c73a4ddc9fbd802018 FAQWhat are Canvas Gym Bags and what are they used for?Canvas Gym Bags are sturdy, versatile, and environmentally friendly bags designed for carrying sports and workout clothing, shoes, and accessories. Made from high-quality canvas material, they are suitable for various activities, including gym workouts, swimming, yoga, and outdoor sports.Why should I choose a Canvas Gym Bag over other materials?https://preview.redd.it/8g3ow8p9gb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=539d40a4189e82fcaf7dc4dfded681d3fa308f5f Canvas Gym Bags are eco-friendly and have multiple benefits compared to other materials. They are lightweight, durable, and easy to maintain. Canvas is a breathable material that ensures items inside stay fresh and odor-free. Additionally, canvas is moisture-resistant, making it perfect for storing damp towels and swimsuits. How do I know if a Canvas Gym Bag is waterproof?High-quality Canvas Gym Bags are often treated with water-resistant coatings and may include waterproof zippers or compartments. Check the product description or contact the manufacturer for specific information about water resistance.Do Canvas Gym Bags have compartments for organizing my workout gear?Yes, most Canvas Gym Bags come with multiple compartments and pockets designed to organize your workout essentials. Many bags feature separate shoe compartments, a wet pocket for storing damp items, and small pockets for storing smaller items like keys, wallets, and phones. https://preview.redd.it/h9utri5agb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=adb8b5cc01275872e0fe1543270afe579eb34bd4 How do I clean a Canvas Gym Bag?Cleaning a Canvas Gym Bag is easy and can be done at home. Simply remove any dirt or debris with a soft brush or cloth. Then, mix a few drops of gentle detergent with water and gently clean the bag's interior and exterior. Rinse thoroughly and air dry away from direct sunlight. It is recommended to consult the manufacturer's care instructions for specific cleaning guidance.How do I choose the right size for a Canvas Gym Bag?Selecting the right size depends on the type and amount of workout gear you'll be carrying. Consider the dimensions of the bag and the volume it can hold. If you're unsure, read reviews from other customers or consult the manufacturer's recommendations for size guidance.Are Canvas Gym Bags suitable for travel?Yes, Canvas Gym Bags are versatile and can be used for travel. Their durability and lightweight nature make them suitable for short trips and weekend getaways. Some Canvas Gym Bags even come with additional features, such as luggage tags or straps, to make traveling easier.Can Canvas Gym Bags be personalized or customized?Yes, many manufacturers offer customization options for Canvas Gym Bags. This can include adding your name or initials, choosing a specific design or pattern, or even selecting custom colors. Personalized or customized bags make great gifts and can help you easily identify your bag amidst a crowded gym or locker room.What is the price range for Canvas Gym Bags?The price range for Canvas Gym Bags varies depending on factors such as size, quality, and additional features. Prices can range from $20 for basic models to over $100 for high-end, designer options. Consider your budget and specific needs when selecting a Canvas Gym Bag to ensure you get the best value for your money.As an Amazon™ Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. |
2024.05.19 07:07 CaptainObviousBear Is this quality of life worth keeping our cat alive for?
Our cat India is 18 and has early stage IV kidney failure. I couldn’t bring myself to ask our vet what this meant in terms of life expectancy, but from what Google tells me, this probably means she has a few months left. The illness is mostly managed with renal food (she eats and drinks ok) as vet and I agreed other treatment such as IV fluids would be too stressful for her.
She is almost completely blind and is now also starting to pee and poop in random places. She has been treated for UTIs but the last set of antibiotics didn’t seem to have any effect so I’m wondering if it’s behavioural/dementia. She spends a lot of time wandering around crashing into things.
Our vet said to think of her fave three things to do and if she could do 2 of them then she has a decent qualify of life. Those three things would be sleeping with us on our bed, getting cuddles with us while we watch TV or work from home, and spending time in our enclosure soaking up the sun.
But the toilet issues have got to the stage where we’re looking at keeping her in a bathroom for hygiene reasons instead of giving her free range of the house. We’ll try and make it as nice as possible for her with bedding and a heater, and will visit for cuddles, but she’ll still probably hate it as she wants to be with us.
She’s already been banned from our bedrooms due to peeing, so that one is out, plus it’s now winter so too cold for her to enjoy time outdoors on a regular basis. So it’s maybe 1.5 things out of 3 and that’s being generous.
My husband thinks we should make the call to put her down but I feel like we would be doing it for our own convenience and I would hate myself if I did it. Even just thinking about it makes me cry.
I don’t know what to do.
submitted by CaptainObviousBear to CatAdvice [link] [comments]
She is almost completely blind and is now also starting to pee and poop in random places. She has been treated for UTIs but the last set of antibiotics didn’t seem to have any effect so I’m wondering if it’s behavioural/dementia. She spends a lot of time wandering around crashing into things.
Our vet said to think of her fave three things to do and if she could do 2 of them then she has a decent qualify of life. Those three things would be sleeping with us on our bed, getting cuddles with us while we watch TV or work from home, and spending time in our enclosure soaking up the sun.
But the toilet issues have got to the stage where we’re looking at keeping her in a bathroom for hygiene reasons instead of giving her free range of the house. We’ll try and make it as nice as possible for her with bedding and a heater, and will visit for cuddles, but she’ll still probably hate it as she wants to be with us.
She’s already been banned from our bedrooms due to peeing, so that one is out, plus it’s now winter so too cold for her to enjoy time outdoors on a regular basis. So it’s maybe 1.5 things out of 3 and that’s being generous.
My husband thinks we should make the call to put her down but I feel like we would be doing it for our own convenience and I would hate myself if I did it. Even just thinking about it makes me cry.
I don’t know what to do.
2024.05.19 07:06 Phantomdog50 To my ex
I’d like to start off by saying I don’t expect a response, but I want to take full responsibility for my many wrongs throughout our relationship and offer the clarity and apology I failed to give you during our breakup. I’ve had time to think about our relationship and realize I at least owe you this.
During our relationship, I was lazy, emotionally unavailable, and failed to give you the support you deserved. I was so selfishly wrapped up in my own life, I didn’t truly acknowledge how little I was putting in and how much it was affecting you. When I should’ve been happy for you hanging out with friends, I made hurtful jokes due to my own insecurities, which put you through completely unnecessary stress and anxiety. When you needed my affection most I couldn’t even display it which must’ve made you feel horrible and so under appreciated. When you actually needed me most, I should’ve been there helping you progress as a person, but instead, I dragged you down, despite you showing me so much affection and support. You deserved so much more than how I treated you, and I should’ve never put you through that much pain and suffering.
No one should ever go through the heartbreak and disrespect I caused you. I’m so sorry for betraying your trust in the many ways that I did. After you trusted me so much to even be your first, I betrayed you because of my stupidly corrupt mind. Even if I didn’t plan on taking further steps, the fact I interacted with her in the first place was a complete betrayal of your trust and betrayal to our relationship. I’ve thought about some things that I believe led me down that path of not only betraying you but my own morals and have completely removed them from my life.
I often was too self-absorbed to even text you when all you were asking was the bare minimum, for me to check in with you throughout the day or text you back while with friends, and it made me realize how much I need to work on myself as a person. Not only work on how I need to treat others, but how I recognize and receive the affection and appreciation others give me so I never make someone feel as undervalued as I made you feel.
I’m writing this to take responsibility and to show the immense shame I feel for myself and my actions. If there was any doubt at all, I want to make it clear that everything was completely my fault. Because of my past experiences, my lack of respect for my time to heal, and my failure to acknowledge my unhealthy habits, I ended up hurting you. When I look back at our relationship, I reminisce about the amazing moments we had, but I am disgusted by the person I became towards the end, and can’t blame you for seeing me the same. I see now I was ignoring all the signs telling me I was doing things wrong out of my own foolishness, thinking that I was at peace.
You were the first person to ever show me unconditional love, and although I didn’t know it until it was too late, it showed me to appreciate everyone in my life while they’re in it as much as possible, because it can change in an instant. When you said, “I know you never said it, but I loved you since before we started dating,” it showed me how broken I really was. You gave me your all, and I couldn’t even recognize that.
After talking to my therapist, I’ve come to find out that I have a really hard time acknowledging and accepting affection because I’ve had a hard time giving it to myself. You treated me like nobody has before, and all I could give back was a half hearted job, broken trust, and had you questioning the reality of our relationship. I’m truly sorry. I wish I had correctly expressed myself during our time together so you knew how much you really meant to me.
The things I said in those messages weren’t my true thoughts or plans about our relationship. In the desperation to escape the situation I created, I said anything I thought might deescalate it. I’m sorry. I hope you didn’t think for a second I wanted to give you up so easily as I did, but I knew after what I did, I was in no position to ask for anything and wasn’t worth going back to as the person I was that day. I know I broke your heart, but if you ever give me the chance, I would spend every day for the rest of my life putting it back together. If you ever feel open to allowing me to show you the person I've been working to become, I think you’d be proud of the progress I’ve made and what’s to come as I don’t plan to stop. Regardless I would be deeply grateful for the opportunity to show you and to listen to your perspective whatever it may be.
I’m currently 45 days free from porn as I partially blame my addiction for my decision making and all drugs so I can be true to myself at all times. I’ve been working day to day to improve myself as a person, from my everyday life to my personal relationships with the ones in my life, with help from a therapist, because I’m serious about my change.
I hope this letter finds you well, if you take anything from this please understand that I’m truly ashamed and sorry for my actions and all the pain I’ve caused you, I’ve genuinely been working my hardest to change as a person, and if not for me, you are worth changing every bit of myself for.
Regardless of what the future holds for us thank you for all the love, support, and happy memories you gave me, and with my most sincere apologies, I’m sorry it ended the way it did and for all the way’s I’ve wronged you.
submitted by Phantomdog50 to UnsentLetters [link] [comments]
During our relationship, I was lazy, emotionally unavailable, and failed to give you the support you deserved. I was so selfishly wrapped up in my own life, I didn’t truly acknowledge how little I was putting in and how much it was affecting you. When I should’ve been happy for you hanging out with friends, I made hurtful jokes due to my own insecurities, which put you through completely unnecessary stress and anxiety. When you needed my affection most I couldn’t even display it which must’ve made you feel horrible and so under appreciated. When you actually needed me most, I should’ve been there helping you progress as a person, but instead, I dragged you down, despite you showing me so much affection and support. You deserved so much more than how I treated you, and I should’ve never put you through that much pain and suffering.
No one should ever go through the heartbreak and disrespect I caused you. I’m so sorry for betraying your trust in the many ways that I did. After you trusted me so much to even be your first, I betrayed you because of my stupidly corrupt mind. Even if I didn’t plan on taking further steps, the fact I interacted with her in the first place was a complete betrayal of your trust and betrayal to our relationship. I’ve thought about some things that I believe led me down that path of not only betraying you but my own morals and have completely removed them from my life.
I often was too self-absorbed to even text you when all you were asking was the bare minimum, for me to check in with you throughout the day or text you back while with friends, and it made me realize how much I need to work on myself as a person. Not only work on how I need to treat others, but how I recognize and receive the affection and appreciation others give me so I never make someone feel as undervalued as I made you feel.
I’m writing this to take responsibility and to show the immense shame I feel for myself and my actions. If there was any doubt at all, I want to make it clear that everything was completely my fault. Because of my past experiences, my lack of respect for my time to heal, and my failure to acknowledge my unhealthy habits, I ended up hurting you. When I look back at our relationship, I reminisce about the amazing moments we had, but I am disgusted by the person I became towards the end, and can’t blame you for seeing me the same. I see now I was ignoring all the signs telling me I was doing things wrong out of my own foolishness, thinking that I was at peace.
You were the first person to ever show me unconditional love, and although I didn’t know it until it was too late, it showed me to appreciate everyone in my life while they’re in it as much as possible, because it can change in an instant. When you said, “I know you never said it, but I loved you since before we started dating,” it showed me how broken I really was. You gave me your all, and I couldn’t even recognize that.
After talking to my therapist, I’ve come to find out that I have a really hard time acknowledging and accepting affection because I’ve had a hard time giving it to myself. You treated me like nobody has before, and all I could give back was a half hearted job, broken trust, and had you questioning the reality of our relationship. I’m truly sorry. I wish I had correctly expressed myself during our time together so you knew how much you really meant to me.
The things I said in those messages weren’t my true thoughts or plans about our relationship. In the desperation to escape the situation I created, I said anything I thought might deescalate it. I’m sorry. I hope you didn’t think for a second I wanted to give you up so easily as I did, but I knew after what I did, I was in no position to ask for anything and wasn’t worth going back to as the person I was that day. I know I broke your heart, but if you ever give me the chance, I would spend every day for the rest of my life putting it back together. If you ever feel open to allowing me to show you the person I've been working to become, I think you’d be proud of the progress I’ve made and what’s to come as I don’t plan to stop. Regardless I would be deeply grateful for the opportunity to show you and to listen to your perspective whatever it may be.
I’m currently 45 days free from porn as I partially blame my addiction for my decision making and all drugs so I can be true to myself at all times. I’ve been working day to day to improve myself as a person, from my everyday life to my personal relationships with the ones in my life, with help from a therapist, because I’m serious about my change.
I hope this letter finds you well, if you take anything from this please understand that I’m truly ashamed and sorry for my actions and all the pain I’ve caused you, I’ve genuinely been working my hardest to change as a person, and if not for me, you are worth changing every bit of myself for.
Regardless of what the future holds for us thank you for all the love, support, and happy memories you gave me, and with my most sincere apologies, I’m sorry it ended the way it did and for all the way’s I’ve wronged you.
2024.05.19 07:06 ThePrettyNova My relationship with my best friend is going downhill. Not sure what to do.
TLDR: I (36/F) have been “roommates” with my best friend (34/F) Janine for almost 5 years. Originally, I had been renting a 3br house in 2018. Janine & her long term boyfriend broke up around the start of the pandemic— December 2019. I offered my office for her to stay until she gets back on her feet. The other bedroom belongs to my then 7 year old daughter. She turns 13 this year.
Janine is also my daughter’s Godmother, so my daughter is happy to have her around. Janine has made questionable decisions when it comes to men, questionable decisions about her life, and has unresolved trauma that she doesn’t want to see a therapist for. She does her best to fake it in front of my child. She comes in & they greet each other happily, but as soon as she sees me, that smile fades and she may not even speak to me. When I brought this up to her, she said that my girl doesn’t deserve her sadness and that I as her friend should understand that some times she doesn’t want to talk. But to not speak or acknowledge me at all? What’s up with that?
Janine is also very secretive. Things happen to her and she chooses not to tell me until either the situation has passed / been solved or she’s so deep in trouble that she can’t get herself out of it. When the situation has been solved, she has probably jumped through so many hoops to solve it and it probably could’ve gotten it solved faster had she told ANYBODY. She mainly doesn’t tell me things because I’m a “fixer”. You tell me something is wrong and I’m immediately offering advice on how to solve it. I found out that’s a bad practice and I should learn to just listen. I’m sure Janine feels like I treat her like a child with my fixing nature, but like I said earlier, she makes bad decisions.
Late last year, my job allowed me to work from home majority of the week because our business is getting larger & they need room for extra workers. I no longer have an office, so I figured we should move in a bigger house. At the time, I thought Janine was a staple in our house, but since January, Janine has been more dramatic than usual. We’ve been saving money for the moment we find something that fits our needs. I found something perfect and I texted her about it. Everyone in the house that’s over 18 has to put in an application. Application has a fee of $75. Janine said she couldn’t handle the $75 until next week but the application was time sensitive. I told Janine I can cover her app fee and she said she rather I not do that. I didn’t understand because we cover for each other and pay each other back all of the time, so what’s different now?
Because of the way she flaked on me for this nicer place, I began to wonder should I just start looking for a place for just me and my daughter? Janine told me she’s in a good place financially, so should I suggest that we save money individually and go our separate ways as far as our living arrangements are concerned? I don’t want to lose my friend, but after 5 years of living together & the original plan was for to stay until she got herself together after a 9 year breakup, shouldn’t we move on? I’m conflicted. I don’t know what to do.
submitted by ThePrettyNova to Advice [link] [comments]
Janine is also my daughter’s Godmother, so my daughter is happy to have her around. Janine has made questionable decisions when it comes to men, questionable decisions about her life, and has unresolved trauma that she doesn’t want to see a therapist for. She does her best to fake it in front of my child. She comes in & they greet each other happily, but as soon as she sees me, that smile fades and she may not even speak to me. When I brought this up to her, she said that my girl doesn’t deserve her sadness and that I as her friend should understand that some times she doesn’t want to talk. But to not speak or acknowledge me at all? What’s up with that?
Janine is also very secretive. Things happen to her and she chooses not to tell me until either the situation has passed / been solved or she’s so deep in trouble that she can’t get herself out of it. When the situation has been solved, she has probably jumped through so many hoops to solve it and it probably could’ve gotten it solved faster had she told ANYBODY. She mainly doesn’t tell me things because I’m a “fixer”. You tell me something is wrong and I’m immediately offering advice on how to solve it. I found out that’s a bad practice and I should learn to just listen. I’m sure Janine feels like I treat her like a child with my fixing nature, but like I said earlier, she makes bad decisions.
Late last year, my job allowed me to work from home majority of the week because our business is getting larger & they need room for extra workers. I no longer have an office, so I figured we should move in a bigger house. At the time, I thought Janine was a staple in our house, but since January, Janine has been more dramatic than usual. We’ve been saving money for the moment we find something that fits our needs. I found something perfect and I texted her about it. Everyone in the house that’s over 18 has to put in an application. Application has a fee of $75. Janine said she couldn’t handle the $75 until next week but the application was time sensitive. I told Janine I can cover her app fee and she said she rather I not do that. I didn’t understand because we cover for each other and pay each other back all of the time, so what’s different now?
Because of the way she flaked on me for this nicer place, I began to wonder should I just start looking for a place for just me and my daughter? Janine told me she’s in a good place financially, so should I suggest that we save money individually and go our separate ways as far as our living arrangements are concerned? I don’t want to lose my friend, but after 5 years of living together & the original plan was for to stay until she got herself together after a 9 year breakup, shouldn’t we move on? I’m conflicted. I don’t know what to do.
2024.05.19 07:05 slytherinHBIC S1: Silas
I feel like everyone else in this sub is up to date, but I just started watching this show like yesterday lol.
But I need to speak to someone about Silas. He pisses me off so much it’s not even funny. Apparently his wife (Jasmine? I get all of the girls confused, but that’s another matter) plays some kind of trad wife role when it’s just the two of them, but she’s acting like a modern woman for the most part on this trip. So many weird little things have happened, where if I was her friend, I would be side eyeing them the whole time. The part that finally made have to make a post was him having a temper tantrum about… getting dressed himself? He just made a big deal about her ironing clothes “unnecessarily” according to him the episode before and she accidentally burned his pants, but now he’s upset that she didn’t read his mind and steam his clothes without him asking or offer to help him get dressed. Like you’re a grown man, why do you need help? It was also weird he was going in on her burning the cheese but running around without his wedding ring.
Also he talks about how he likes routines and mansplaining things because he’s in the military 🙄. Mans joined the military as a RESERVIST like a year ago, you’re not even in the military fr, why is it your whole personality. The way he acts you’d think he was 10 years in serving full time and had been living the military life from middle school JROTC.
submitted by slytherinHBIC to summerhouseMVbravo [link] [comments]
But I need to speak to someone about Silas. He pisses me off so much it’s not even funny. Apparently his wife (Jasmine? I get all of the girls confused, but that’s another matter) plays some kind of trad wife role when it’s just the two of them, but she’s acting like a modern woman for the most part on this trip. So many weird little things have happened, where if I was her friend, I would be side eyeing them the whole time. The part that finally made have to make a post was him having a temper tantrum about… getting dressed himself? He just made a big deal about her ironing clothes “unnecessarily” according to him the episode before and she accidentally burned his pants, but now he’s upset that she didn’t read his mind and steam his clothes without him asking or offer to help him get dressed. Like you’re a grown man, why do you need help? It was also weird he was going in on her burning the cheese but running around without his wedding ring.
Also he talks about how he likes routines and mansplaining things because he’s in the military 🙄. Mans joined the military as a RESERVIST like a year ago, you’re not even in the military fr, why is it your whole personality. The way he acts you’d think he was 10 years in serving full time and had been living the military life from middle school JROTC.
2024.05.19 07:04 ThreeMonthsTooLate [Marvel Comics] Nightcrawler is the Winding Way - Revised
So, I posted this theory a while back but it seems that most people didn’t read through it due to it being too long. So here I am back again with my best to briefly summarize the theory with the major points of evidence from the comics that I have found. It’s still going to be a lot but, hopefully, this will help get the broad idea across. Then if you have any specific points you can hopefully find them answered in the sections beneath it.
For context, you only need to read the Basic Premise section to get the basic gist of the theory, all the remaining sections are where I outline the evidence to support it.
~Basic Premise~
Margali Szardos is a powerful witch in Marvel comics who has shown being particularly hungry for magical power – doing everything from manipulating her daughter, Amanda Sefton, into getting her Illyana’s Soul-Sword so that she could use it in a killing spree to obtain magical power from her victims (Excalibur #85), to attempting to steal the power of a demon living under London nearly destroying it in the process (Excalibur #100), to forcibly mind-swapping with her daughter to save herself leaving Amanda to be tortured by Belasco (revealed X-Men: Unlimited #19), opening a magical rift to the World Beyond to obtain its power which forced her daughter to sacrifice herself to close it (4th Nightcrawler series #1-4), to finally selling Nightcrawler out to ORCHIS to obtain the Hope-sword that was lodged in Kurt’s chest (Legion of X #7-10).
All of these villainous actions raise an important question – why did Margali adopt Nightcrawler? After all, it’s not like Margali went around adopting children – only Nightcrawler. In fact, outside of Kurt, the only other child that Margali has ever displayed an interest in obtaining was a young Scarlet Witch (Mystic Arcanum: Scarlet Witch) which is concerning given just how magically powerful Scarlet Witch is.
This all points to the idea that Margali only took Kurt in because she got something out of it – very likely magical power. This wouldn’t be nearly so concerning if Margali Szardos wasn’t also the Sorceress Supreme of one of the most mysterious and unexplained magical systems in all of Marvel.
~Part 2 – The Winding Way is WIERD~
So, I’m just going to come out and say it - the Winding Way makes no sense in the current understanding of magic in Marvel Comics. Even characters like Dr. Strange – one of Marvel’s masters of magic – has basically no idea how the Winding Way actually operates. There is a data page in Legion of X #9 that outlines the basics of what the Winding Way is and how it operates.
According to the data page, the Winding Way is an exocentric magic system – that is to say a form of magic that is powered by an external source to the user – which its various wielders experience cycles of power and powerlessness. As far as characters like Strange are aware, it remains unclear if there is a physical “Way” or if that is simply metaphor.
The strange thing about the Winding Way is that there is no other magical system in Marvel where this cycle of users having powers and being powerless is even a thing. Whenever an exocentrically powered sorcerer loses their powers, it is always a form of punishment. This is true with Dr. Strange when he lost 99% of his powers back during the War of the Seven Spheres story. This is true with Juggernaut who loses his powers whenever he and Cyttorak – the entity that powers the crimson gem that Juggernaut uses for his powers. It’s even true for someone like Thor and his hammer. No where else in Marvel is there a system of magic where cycles of power is a thing.
All of this raises the question of whether the fluctuating cycles of power the Winding Way are actually a natural part of the Winding Way or whether they due to something else – like, say the power source of the Winding Way trying to continuously punish the various practitioners but being unable to due to their attention being split up.
Ultimately, the only truth that we can glean about the Winding Way is that nobody but the practitioners of the Winding Way ultimately know how it works and even then, characters like Margali and Amanda have proven time and again that their word cannot be trusted.
~Part 3 – the Szardos Family, Cthon, & Wundagore Mountain~
Interestingly, a different Sorcerer Supreme Sgt. Sebastian Szardos – the Sorcerer Supreme of World War II – has his own insights about the Winding Way, though they are rather vague. Firstly, in the 8th series of Avengers #50, Sebastian claims that the Winding Way has ties with Mt. Wundagore – which was famously the tomb of Cthon before Scarlet Witch absorbed him. This seems to suggest that the Winding Way originates either via Cthon or his creation – the Darkhold.
What is more interesting is that the Winding Way doesn’t seem to be practiced during the time of the Second World War as Sgt. Szardos states that only his great grandmother on his mothers side even knew about the Winding Way – Sebastian himself clearly wasn’t a practicing member. This is peculiar as Margali Szardos demonstrates an unusual amount of familiarity with the position of Sorcerer Supreme in Uncanny X-Men Annual #4 when she stole the Eye of Agamotto off of Dr. Strange with a mere gesture. Given that Sebastian and Margali share the last name and Sebastian was a known former Sorcerer Supreme while Margali – as far as I can tell – has never been, this would seem to suggest that there is some sort of familial connection between Margali and Sebastian. This in turn seems to suggest that the Winding Way experienced some sort of revival with Margali.
My theory is that the Winding Way started out as a sort of ritual that originated with the Darkhold and was initially practiced by the Szardos family over the centuries to siphon power off of Cthon to keep him in check and imprisoned - hence why there are other Szardos clan members such as Theodosia as shown in that run of Avengers. This would mean that if my theory of Nightcrawler being the Winding Way is true, then it would mean that he is only the current source of the Winding Way.
~Part 4 – Nightcrawler is still related to Azazel (and Azazel is a demon)~
Now a major aspect in this is that Nightcrawler is where exactly would Nightcrawler’s magical powers come from? After all, he’s the son of Mystique and Destiny – two mutants with no sort of magical capabilities, right? Well, that’s… complicated.
Firstly, it’s important to note that the X-Men Origins: Blue retcon is… frankly, not very well thought out. There are a bunch of things that it just gets plain wrong and contradict a bunch of previously established X-Men lore – everything from the fact that Destiny would have been too old to give birth to Nightcrawler, to Rogue’s age being way too young (she was adopted by D&M when she was 13 not 5), to the fact that Mystique canonically cannot mimic mutant x-genes - meaning Nightcrawler shouldn’t have teleportation with this retcon, and much, much more. On top of all that, the fact that the only evidence supporting the idea that it ever even happened is from Mystique and Destiny – two of Marvel’s most notorious liars – and you got yourself an extremely messy and rather dubious retcon.
Putting all that aside, going based on what the retcon has established there are a few ways in which Kurt might have inherited some sort of magical power.
Primarily, Kurt is still technically related to Azazel – yes, Mystique “mimicked” Azazel’s DNA in Kurt’s conception but given that in genetics it is the sequence of DNA that matters and not the source of that sequence, Mystique’s “Mimicked” DNA is still ostensibly Azazel’s DNA. Azazel is an established master of dark magic – specifically soul magic – and used to rule over a legit Hell Dimension during the time of Kurt’s birth – making him a legit hell lord similar to Mephisto or Dormammu. Given that Hell Lords are also considered the Sorcerer Supremes (as in the strongest) of their respective dimension, this would suggest that Azazel once held some major power, regardless of if he’s a demon or not. And as it has been established, magic is inheritable as shown with Clea (the daughter of Umar), Daimon Hellstrom (son of Marduk Kurios), and at least half the cast of Strange Academy, it would stand to reason that Nightcrawler could also inherit magical power from him.
Now, I know what you are saying – “But, Azazel isn’t a demon! Chuck Austen said so!” And while, yes, Chuck Austen has clearly gone on record to say that Azazel is only a demonic looking mutant instead of an actual demon, it’s been kind of invalidated by the thing that every other writer for Azazel – including the likes of Chris Claremont – have referred to Azazel as a demon at least once either on-panel or in interviews. And frankly, there’s nothing in the lore that says that Azazel cannot be both a demon and a mutant – after all, Magik is both a demon and a mutant at the same time. And let’s be real here, Chuck Austen doesn’t deserve nice things when it comes to the X-Men.
However, Azazel is not the only DNA that Mystique apparently mimicked – Baron Christian Wagner was also added onto that list for some reason. This is odd as why would Destiny and Mystique feel the need to include Baron Wagner at all in the genetic makeup of Nightcrawler unless there was something special about the Baron. However, the only uniquely genetic thing we learn about him is that he’s seemingly infertile – which may suggest that there is some sort of genetic anomaly going on with him, such as maybe a repressed X-gene.
~Part 5 – Amanda Sefton/Jimaine Szardos history in Marvel Comics~
Another aspect of this theory is that – if it is true – it suddenly explains a lot of what Kurt’s ex, Amanda Sefton has been doing in comics since she was first introduced in 1976. You see, Amanda Sefton followed Kurt back from Germany and began dating him under a different name – which Kurt was not aware of. She only reveals the truth after the events of Uncanny X-Men Annual #4. This unfortunately supports Kurt’s accusation in Uncanny X-Men #206 that Amanda used a spell to make Kurt fall in love with her to begin with – an accusation which Amanda has never confirmed nor denied.
Amanda’s peculiar behavior continued into Excalibur where she was manipulated by Margali into obtaining Illyana’s Soul-Sword from Kitty Pryde – who had previously given the Soul-Sword to Dr. Doom and then Darkoth, with it returning to her both times. Upon obtaining the Soul-Sword, Margali then used it to go on a killing spree against the other members of the Winding Way to obtain their power for herself. Following this, Margali’s failed attempt to steal the power of a demon beneath London, and Kurt and Margali rescuing Amanda from Belasco after Margali body-swapped with her daughter to save her own skin – Amanda ended up taking over Limbo, supposedly in the name of protecting earth.
However, then we have the smoking gun of Amanda’s meddling – during the 3rd Nightcrawler solo series, it is revealed that Amanda fused the Soul-Sword with Nightcrawler without telling him. Her reason for doing so? “To protect the Soul-Sword from falling into the wrong hands.” This lie is so glaringly bad that not even Nightcrawler buys it and he calls Amanda out for not being honest with him.
~Part 6 – Amanda’s Bad Lie and What it Means~
And frankly why would anyone believe Amanda’s claim? Amanda is a sorceress – which means that she is infinitely more qualified than Nightcrawler to keep the Soul-Sword safe than he is. Even if she couldn’t do so, why didn’t she take the Soul-Sword to someone like Dr. Strange?
On top of that, Amanda took the Soul-Sword away from Kitty Pryde claiming that Kitty wasn’t qualified to keep the Soul-Sword safe due to her not being a trained sorceress. Well, guess who’s also not trained in sorcery and thus – by Amanda’s own logic - would not be able to keep the Soul-Sword safe? Nightcrawler.
Except, Kitty technically was able to keep the Soul-Sword out of the wrong hands – back during Excalibur #37 she phased the Soul-Sword into a rock which even Rachel Summers channeling the power of the Phoenix Force was not able to remove it from – it wasn’t removed until Doom came knocking and got Kitty to willingly remove it for him. So why couldn’t Amanda do something similar? Why fuse it with Kurt and endanger him?
And to top it all off, Amanda still needed the Soul-Sword. She was ruling over Limbo – a dangerous hell dimension full of power-hungry demons. Her magical powers are of the Winding Way – meaning that they wax and wane. So quite literally, Amanda needs the Soul-Sword – a weapon which every demon in Limbo fears – to keep herself in power; something which was proven in New X-Men #37 when Belasco walked back into Limbo and ousted her.
~Part 7 – Amanda took over Limbo to learn about the Soul-Sword~
So, what was Amanda really up to? Well, to understand Amanda’s actions in the 3rd Nightcrawler series, we first need to go back to Amanda’s actions in previous series. What’s interesting is that Amanda’s interest in the Soul-Sword was first manifest through Margali – who reveals in Excalibur: Minus One that there is a prophecy that the Soul-Sword would pass first into Margali’s hands and then into Amanda’s hands but would result in both of their dooms.
However, Amanda doesn’t really demonstrate any sort of interest in the Soul-Sword until after Margali used it to obtain power in the Winding Way during Excalibur. While she didn’t get the opportunity to act after the events of Margali’s failed London project due to her mother mind-swapping with her, Amanda’s actions in taking over Limbo after X-Men: Unlimited #19 was more likely due to Amanda wanting to obtain and learn more about the Soul-Sword than about her trying to protect earth.
You see, as Limbo was in no position to even threaten earth until Belasco had obtained the Soul-Sword following Margali ending up there – meaning that if Amanda had simply obtained the Soul-Sword and left Limbo, Limbo would not have been able to endanger Earth. Instead, Amanda stayed. Why? Because if there was anywhere in the universe where you wanted to learn about a Soul-Sword and how it works, Limbo is the dimension to do so.
~Part 8 – Nightcrawler and Magik are… Soulmates?~
So, why did Amanda fuse the Soul-Sword with Nightcrawler? Well, ultimately because a major function of the Soul-Sword is that it can be used as a countercharm which can undo other spells – potentially meaning that Amanda could use it to undo the Winding Way and restore the two halves of Kurt’s soul back together again.
However, another aspect of the Soul-Sword is that it is dangerous to magical creatures and Kurt’s magical soul would already be weakened after years of being separated. Amanda must have figured that if she bonded the non-magical half of Kurt’s soul to the Soul-Sword would allow for her to bypass the more dangerous aspects of the Soul-Sword and allow her to restore Kurt.
And as a result of Amanda’s meddling, when a demonically possessed Pixie ripped the Soul-Sword out of Nightcrawler during X-Infernus, it left behind a void in Kurt’s Soul as established in Legion of X #10, which allowed for the Hopesword to later form. This also seemingly gave Illyana’s Soul-Sword a new ability to damage Techno-Organic beings which it did not possess before. This also means that Nightcrawler and Magik are… soul-mates(?) for the lack of a better term, as they are both bound together through the Soul-Sword after Amanda undid Illyana’s bond with Kitty, though this fact has never been established or confirmed in the comics.
~Part 9 – Destiny caused Magik to be kidnapped by Belasco~
Now, I noted in an earlier section that Margali’s fascination with the Soul-Sword was as a result of a prophecy – one that has at least partially come true. The prophecy as laid out during a flashback in Exalibur: Minus One was that the Soul-Sword would pass from into Margali’s hands and then Amanda’s but would result in both of their dooms. Illyana’s Soul-Sword was indeed obtained by Margali back in Excalibur #85 before she lost it to Belasco after falling to Limbo and the Soul-Sword was obtained again by Amanda after taking Limbo over in X-Men: Unlimited #19.
Now, this whole situation is peculiar as Margali herself is not a precog – outside of this one time, we never even hear her do anything similar ever again. However, we know that Destiny is a precog and we also know that she was the one who gave Kurt to Margali, as per the X-Men Origins: Blue retcon, meaning that this prophecy more than likely originates with Destiny. And really, this shouldn’t be a surprise – Mystique hinted at having some sort of a connection with Margali as far back as UXM #142 when she first met Nightcrawler, it was just never clarified what that connection was.
However, this prophecy would have been given to Margali before the Soul-Sword was ever made and before Illyana was even born, which means that either Destiny could predict Illyana being kidnapped by Belasco and creating the Soul-Sword as a result… or she caused Belasco to kidnap Illyana and create the Soul-Sword as a result.
Now, you may question how that’s even possible? After all, how could Destiny cause someone like Belasco to do something when the two haven’t even canonically met?
Well, for this, I would like to point out the unexplained animosity going on between Margali Szardos and Belasco. This is a rivalry that has been mentioned quite a few times – such as back in Excalibur: Minus One, X-Men: Unlimited #19, and the 3rd Nightcrawler series. For some unexplained reason, Margali Szardos and Belasco have a lot of enmity for one another.
So, what’s the cause of this rivalry? Well, during the Dark Web event, Mary Jane Watson and Black Cat were captured by Belasco and sent to retrieve his Soul-Sword – which, as it is explained in the story is something that Belasco could not potentially use up until the events of Dark Web.
So here’s an idea – what if Destiny didn’t specify which Soul-Sword would end up in Margali’s hands, causing Margali to immediately assume that she was talking about Belasco’s (as that would have been the only one in existence at that point) and try to steal it from him.
This then drew Belasco’s attention and caused him to realize that Nightcrawler was somehow the source of Margali’s powers. This would be why Belasco even had his eyes on the X-Men to begin with and why there was a soulless Nightcrawler back in the original Magik series – Kurt was Belasco’s original target. However, the soulless Nightcrawler and Belasco’s obvious shift in attention to Illyana clearly points to the idea that whatever experiments Belasco tried to use to obtain that magical power from Kurt, it only ended in disaster – causing him to turn to Illyana as a replacement.
~Part 10 – the Big Picture… stopping Enigma~
So, if Destiny was ultimately the cause behind all of this – from orchestrating Kurt’s birth, to handing him off to Margali, to telling Margali the prophecy about the Soul-Sword, what is it all ultimately for?
Well, what it is almost certainly not for is the given answer of defeating Azazel. Simply put, Azazel has never been so major of a threat that creating a super special prophecy child was needed. Heck, he was killed in Dark X-Men by the demonic version of Nightcrawler, so how difficult would it have been for Mystique and Destiny to do it? No, Azazel’s defeat was a bonus that Irene used to justify Kurt’s birth to Raven, not the focus.
Ultimately, there’s only one answer as to who Kurt was conceived to stop – Enigma. The original Nathaniel Essex who transcended space and time and who Irene knew to be an existential threat to all Mutantkind.
This answer even explains some of Irene’s other past actions, such as why she was involved with the Black Womb project – yes, she was keeping an eye on Sinister, but she was also learning as much about the mutant x-gene in preparation for Kurt’s birth.
It also explains why she handed Kurt over to Margali at all – the Winding Way is described in the datapages of Legion of X as being something akin to a No-Place – something that Enigma and other Dominions famously have trouble seeing into. Thus, by hiding Kurt’s magical half in the No-place until the time was right and creating the means by which to release him from that prison, Destiny ensures Enigma’s defeat.
Or does she? Because as far as the current X-Men comics have been going, there is nowhere near the development needed to have my theory take place. At this point, only the Hopesword is established which begs the question of whether the Winding Way is meant to be the thing to stop Enigma or if the Hopesword is. As of this point in X-Men Forever (2024) #4, the Hopesword is what was needed to stop Enigma… for some reason. So far, all that the sword has accomplished is being handed off from Kurt to Exodus to Hope… who was then killed by the Phoenix and sent the Hopesword back to Kurt. We’ll have to wait and see if anything else comes of it.
Personally though, I kind of like the idea that everything Destiny did in orchestrating the creation of the Hopesword and/or the Winding Way was kind of a pointless thing in the end. It’s kind of poignant for Destiny’s character – being the same woman who thought that killing Senator Kelly would prevent the Days of Future’s Past Timeline when she was in fact going to cause that very timeline to happen – to have all her manipulations and schemes to create this weapon against the existential threat that Enigma presented… only to have that threat be dealt with in some other way, leaving Irene to deal with the consequences of her own actions and question whether it was worth putting Kurt through all of that. Maybe that’s just me though.
Conclusion
So yeah, that’s most of the evidence supporting this theory. There are a few other things – such as Margali potentially being the reason why Kurt was killed during Second Coming and potentially causing his mental break down during the Extraordinary X-Men story, but those are more auxiliary to these major points.
But yeah, let me know what you guys think down below. Do you think this theory is onto something or is it way off base?
submitted by ThreeMonthsTooLate to FanTheories [link] [comments]
For context, you only need to read the Basic Premise section to get the basic gist of the theory, all the remaining sections are where I outline the evidence to support it.
~Basic Premise~
Nightcrawler is the Winding Way is basically the idea that X-Men’s Nightcrawler got his soul ripped in half when he was a child by his adopted mother – Margali Szardos – who used the magical half of Kurt’s soul to form the source of her power, the Winding Way.~Part 1 – Margali Szardos is the Worst Adoptive Mother of All Time~
Nightcrawler would have inherited this magical power from Azazel, who he is still technically biologically related to, as well as potentially the combination of genes from Mystique, Destiny, and Baron Wagner.
Amanda Sefton – after seeing Margali use Illyana’s Soul-Sword to obtain power in the Winding Way, took over Limbo to study it before fusing it with Kurt’s soul in the hopes of being able to use the Soul-Sword to undo her mother’s work and restore Kurt to being whole again.
Ultimately, Destiny gave the baby Kurt to Margali knowing full well she would do this to him to hide his true power from Enigma (the Nathaniel Essex that became a Dominion), who she had Kurt concieved in order to defeat.
Additionally, she told Margali of a prophecy about a Soul-Sword falling into Margali’s hands knowing that Margali would attempt to steal Belasco’s Soul-Sword, that Belasco would turn his attention to Nightcrawler to steal that magical power for herself which would result in Illyana being kidnapped by Belasco after he gave up trying to steal the power from Kurt and thus create said Soul-Sword as well as – eventually – the Hope-sword.
Margali Szardos is a powerful witch in Marvel comics who has shown being particularly hungry for magical power – doing everything from manipulating her daughter, Amanda Sefton, into getting her Illyana’s Soul-Sword so that she could use it in a killing spree to obtain magical power from her victims (Excalibur #85), to attempting to steal the power of a demon living under London nearly destroying it in the process (Excalibur #100), to forcibly mind-swapping with her daughter to save herself leaving Amanda to be tortured by Belasco (revealed X-Men: Unlimited #19), opening a magical rift to the World Beyond to obtain its power which forced her daughter to sacrifice herself to close it (4th Nightcrawler series #1-4), to finally selling Nightcrawler out to ORCHIS to obtain the Hope-sword that was lodged in Kurt’s chest (Legion of X #7-10).
All of these villainous actions raise an important question – why did Margali adopt Nightcrawler? After all, it’s not like Margali went around adopting children – only Nightcrawler. In fact, outside of Kurt, the only other child that Margali has ever displayed an interest in obtaining was a young Scarlet Witch (Mystic Arcanum: Scarlet Witch) which is concerning given just how magically powerful Scarlet Witch is.
This all points to the idea that Margali only took Kurt in because she got something out of it – very likely magical power. This wouldn’t be nearly so concerning if Margali Szardos wasn’t also the Sorceress Supreme of one of the most mysterious and unexplained magical systems in all of Marvel.
~Part 2 – The Winding Way is WIERD~
So, I’m just going to come out and say it - the Winding Way makes no sense in the current understanding of magic in Marvel Comics. Even characters like Dr. Strange – one of Marvel’s masters of magic – has basically no idea how the Winding Way actually operates. There is a data page in Legion of X #9 that outlines the basics of what the Winding Way is and how it operates.
According to the data page, the Winding Way is an exocentric magic system – that is to say a form of magic that is powered by an external source to the user – which its various wielders experience cycles of power and powerlessness. As far as characters like Strange are aware, it remains unclear if there is a physical “Way” or if that is simply metaphor.
The strange thing about the Winding Way is that there is no other magical system in Marvel where this cycle of users having powers and being powerless is even a thing. Whenever an exocentrically powered sorcerer loses their powers, it is always a form of punishment. This is true with Dr. Strange when he lost 99% of his powers back during the War of the Seven Spheres story. This is true with Juggernaut who loses his powers whenever he and Cyttorak – the entity that powers the crimson gem that Juggernaut uses for his powers. It’s even true for someone like Thor and his hammer. No where else in Marvel is there a system of magic where cycles of power is a thing.
All of this raises the question of whether the fluctuating cycles of power the Winding Way are actually a natural part of the Winding Way or whether they due to something else – like, say the power source of the Winding Way trying to continuously punish the various practitioners but being unable to due to their attention being split up.
Ultimately, the only truth that we can glean about the Winding Way is that nobody but the practitioners of the Winding Way ultimately know how it works and even then, characters like Margali and Amanda have proven time and again that their word cannot be trusted.
~Part 3 – the Szardos Family, Cthon, & Wundagore Mountain~
Interestingly, a different Sorcerer Supreme Sgt. Sebastian Szardos – the Sorcerer Supreme of World War II – has his own insights about the Winding Way, though they are rather vague. Firstly, in the 8th series of Avengers #50, Sebastian claims that the Winding Way has ties with Mt. Wundagore – which was famously the tomb of Cthon before Scarlet Witch absorbed him. This seems to suggest that the Winding Way originates either via Cthon or his creation – the Darkhold.
What is more interesting is that the Winding Way doesn’t seem to be practiced during the time of the Second World War as Sgt. Szardos states that only his great grandmother on his mothers side even knew about the Winding Way – Sebastian himself clearly wasn’t a practicing member. This is peculiar as Margali Szardos demonstrates an unusual amount of familiarity with the position of Sorcerer Supreme in Uncanny X-Men Annual #4 when she stole the Eye of Agamotto off of Dr. Strange with a mere gesture. Given that Sebastian and Margali share the last name and Sebastian was a known former Sorcerer Supreme while Margali – as far as I can tell – has never been, this would seem to suggest that there is some sort of familial connection between Margali and Sebastian. This in turn seems to suggest that the Winding Way experienced some sort of revival with Margali.
My theory is that the Winding Way started out as a sort of ritual that originated with the Darkhold and was initially practiced by the Szardos family over the centuries to siphon power off of Cthon to keep him in check and imprisoned - hence why there are other Szardos clan members such as Theodosia as shown in that run of Avengers. This would mean that if my theory of Nightcrawler being the Winding Way is true, then it would mean that he is only the current source of the Winding Way.
~Part 4 – Nightcrawler is still related to Azazel (and Azazel is a demon)~
Now a major aspect in this is that Nightcrawler is where exactly would Nightcrawler’s magical powers come from? After all, he’s the son of Mystique and Destiny – two mutants with no sort of magical capabilities, right? Well, that’s… complicated.
Firstly, it’s important to note that the X-Men Origins: Blue retcon is… frankly, not very well thought out. There are a bunch of things that it just gets plain wrong and contradict a bunch of previously established X-Men lore – everything from the fact that Destiny would have been too old to give birth to Nightcrawler, to Rogue’s age being way too young (she was adopted by D&M when she was 13 not 5), to the fact that Mystique canonically cannot mimic mutant x-genes - meaning Nightcrawler shouldn’t have teleportation with this retcon, and much, much more. On top of all that, the fact that the only evidence supporting the idea that it ever even happened is from Mystique and Destiny – two of Marvel’s most notorious liars – and you got yourself an extremely messy and rather dubious retcon.
Putting all that aside, going based on what the retcon has established there are a few ways in which Kurt might have inherited some sort of magical power.
Primarily, Kurt is still technically related to Azazel – yes, Mystique “mimicked” Azazel’s DNA in Kurt’s conception but given that in genetics it is the sequence of DNA that matters and not the source of that sequence, Mystique’s “Mimicked” DNA is still ostensibly Azazel’s DNA. Azazel is an established master of dark magic – specifically soul magic – and used to rule over a legit Hell Dimension during the time of Kurt’s birth – making him a legit hell lord similar to Mephisto or Dormammu. Given that Hell Lords are also considered the Sorcerer Supremes (as in the strongest) of their respective dimension, this would suggest that Azazel once held some major power, regardless of if he’s a demon or not. And as it has been established, magic is inheritable as shown with Clea (the daughter of Umar), Daimon Hellstrom (son of Marduk Kurios), and at least half the cast of Strange Academy, it would stand to reason that Nightcrawler could also inherit magical power from him.
Now, I know what you are saying – “But, Azazel isn’t a demon! Chuck Austen said so!” And while, yes, Chuck Austen has clearly gone on record to say that Azazel is only a demonic looking mutant instead of an actual demon, it’s been kind of invalidated by the thing that every other writer for Azazel – including the likes of Chris Claremont – have referred to Azazel as a demon at least once either on-panel or in interviews. And frankly, there’s nothing in the lore that says that Azazel cannot be both a demon and a mutant – after all, Magik is both a demon and a mutant at the same time. And let’s be real here, Chuck Austen doesn’t deserve nice things when it comes to the X-Men.
However, Azazel is not the only DNA that Mystique apparently mimicked – Baron Christian Wagner was also added onto that list for some reason. This is odd as why would Destiny and Mystique feel the need to include Baron Wagner at all in the genetic makeup of Nightcrawler unless there was something special about the Baron. However, the only uniquely genetic thing we learn about him is that he’s seemingly infertile – which may suggest that there is some sort of genetic anomaly going on with him, such as maybe a repressed X-gene.
~Part 5 – Amanda Sefton/Jimaine Szardos history in Marvel Comics~
Another aspect of this theory is that – if it is true – it suddenly explains a lot of what Kurt’s ex, Amanda Sefton has been doing in comics since she was first introduced in 1976. You see, Amanda Sefton followed Kurt back from Germany and began dating him under a different name – which Kurt was not aware of. She only reveals the truth after the events of Uncanny X-Men Annual #4. This unfortunately supports Kurt’s accusation in Uncanny X-Men #206 that Amanda used a spell to make Kurt fall in love with her to begin with – an accusation which Amanda has never confirmed nor denied.
Amanda’s peculiar behavior continued into Excalibur where she was manipulated by Margali into obtaining Illyana’s Soul-Sword from Kitty Pryde – who had previously given the Soul-Sword to Dr. Doom and then Darkoth, with it returning to her both times. Upon obtaining the Soul-Sword, Margali then used it to go on a killing spree against the other members of the Winding Way to obtain their power for herself. Following this, Margali’s failed attempt to steal the power of a demon beneath London, and Kurt and Margali rescuing Amanda from Belasco after Margali body-swapped with her daughter to save her own skin – Amanda ended up taking over Limbo, supposedly in the name of protecting earth.
However, then we have the smoking gun of Amanda’s meddling – during the 3rd Nightcrawler solo series, it is revealed that Amanda fused the Soul-Sword with Nightcrawler without telling him. Her reason for doing so? “To protect the Soul-Sword from falling into the wrong hands.” This lie is so glaringly bad that not even Nightcrawler buys it and he calls Amanda out for not being honest with him.
~Part 6 – Amanda’s Bad Lie and What it Means~
And frankly why would anyone believe Amanda’s claim? Amanda is a sorceress – which means that she is infinitely more qualified than Nightcrawler to keep the Soul-Sword safe than he is. Even if she couldn’t do so, why didn’t she take the Soul-Sword to someone like Dr. Strange?
On top of that, Amanda took the Soul-Sword away from Kitty Pryde claiming that Kitty wasn’t qualified to keep the Soul-Sword safe due to her not being a trained sorceress. Well, guess who’s also not trained in sorcery and thus – by Amanda’s own logic - would not be able to keep the Soul-Sword safe? Nightcrawler.
Except, Kitty technically was able to keep the Soul-Sword out of the wrong hands – back during Excalibur #37 she phased the Soul-Sword into a rock which even Rachel Summers channeling the power of the Phoenix Force was not able to remove it from – it wasn’t removed until Doom came knocking and got Kitty to willingly remove it for him. So why couldn’t Amanda do something similar? Why fuse it with Kurt and endanger him?
And to top it all off, Amanda still needed the Soul-Sword. She was ruling over Limbo – a dangerous hell dimension full of power-hungry demons. Her magical powers are of the Winding Way – meaning that they wax and wane. So quite literally, Amanda needs the Soul-Sword – a weapon which every demon in Limbo fears – to keep herself in power; something which was proven in New X-Men #37 when Belasco walked back into Limbo and ousted her.
~Part 7 – Amanda took over Limbo to learn about the Soul-Sword~
So, what was Amanda really up to? Well, to understand Amanda’s actions in the 3rd Nightcrawler series, we first need to go back to Amanda’s actions in previous series. What’s interesting is that Amanda’s interest in the Soul-Sword was first manifest through Margali – who reveals in Excalibur: Minus One that there is a prophecy that the Soul-Sword would pass first into Margali’s hands and then into Amanda’s hands but would result in both of their dooms.
However, Amanda doesn’t really demonstrate any sort of interest in the Soul-Sword until after Margali used it to obtain power in the Winding Way during Excalibur. While she didn’t get the opportunity to act after the events of Margali’s failed London project due to her mother mind-swapping with her, Amanda’s actions in taking over Limbo after X-Men: Unlimited #19 was more likely due to Amanda wanting to obtain and learn more about the Soul-Sword than about her trying to protect earth.
You see, as Limbo was in no position to even threaten earth until Belasco had obtained the Soul-Sword following Margali ending up there – meaning that if Amanda had simply obtained the Soul-Sword and left Limbo, Limbo would not have been able to endanger Earth. Instead, Amanda stayed. Why? Because if there was anywhere in the universe where you wanted to learn about a Soul-Sword and how it works, Limbo is the dimension to do so.
~Part 8 – Nightcrawler and Magik are… Soulmates?~
So, why did Amanda fuse the Soul-Sword with Nightcrawler? Well, ultimately because a major function of the Soul-Sword is that it can be used as a countercharm which can undo other spells – potentially meaning that Amanda could use it to undo the Winding Way and restore the two halves of Kurt’s soul back together again.
However, another aspect of the Soul-Sword is that it is dangerous to magical creatures and Kurt’s magical soul would already be weakened after years of being separated. Amanda must have figured that if she bonded the non-magical half of Kurt’s soul to the Soul-Sword would allow for her to bypass the more dangerous aspects of the Soul-Sword and allow her to restore Kurt.
And as a result of Amanda’s meddling, when a demonically possessed Pixie ripped the Soul-Sword out of Nightcrawler during X-Infernus, it left behind a void in Kurt’s Soul as established in Legion of X #10, which allowed for the Hopesword to later form. This also seemingly gave Illyana’s Soul-Sword a new ability to damage Techno-Organic beings which it did not possess before. This also means that Nightcrawler and Magik are… soul-mates(?) for the lack of a better term, as they are both bound together through the Soul-Sword after Amanda undid Illyana’s bond with Kitty, though this fact has never been established or confirmed in the comics.
~Part 9 – Destiny caused Magik to be kidnapped by Belasco~
Now, I noted in an earlier section that Margali’s fascination with the Soul-Sword was as a result of a prophecy – one that has at least partially come true. The prophecy as laid out during a flashback in Exalibur: Minus One was that the Soul-Sword would pass from into Margali’s hands and then Amanda’s but would result in both of their dooms. Illyana’s Soul-Sword was indeed obtained by Margali back in Excalibur #85 before she lost it to Belasco after falling to Limbo and the Soul-Sword was obtained again by Amanda after taking Limbo over in X-Men: Unlimited #19.
Now, this whole situation is peculiar as Margali herself is not a precog – outside of this one time, we never even hear her do anything similar ever again. However, we know that Destiny is a precog and we also know that she was the one who gave Kurt to Margali, as per the X-Men Origins: Blue retcon, meaning that this prophecy more than likely originates with Destiny. And really, this shouldn’t be a surprise – Mystique hinted at having some sort of a connection with Margali as far back as UXM #142 when she first met Nightcrawler, it was just never clarified what that connection was.
However, this prophecy would have been given to Margali before the Soul-Sword was ever made and before Illyana was even born, which means that either Destiny could predict Illyana being kidnapped by Belasco and creating the Soul-Sword as a result… or she caused Belasco to kidnap Illyana and create the Soul-Sword as a result.
Now, you may question how that’s even possible? After all, how could Destiny cause someone like Belasco to do something when the two haven’t even canonically met?
Well, for this, I would like to point out the unexplained animosity going on between Margali Szardos and Belasco. This is a rivalry that has been mentioned quite a few times – such as back in Excalibur: Minus One, X-Men: Unlimited #19, and the 3rd Nightcrawler series. For some unexplained reason, Margali Szardos and Belasco have a lot of enmity for one another.
So, what’s the cause of this rivalry? Well, during the Dark Web event, Mary Jane Watson and Black Cat were captured by Belasco and sent to retrieve his Soul-Sword – which, as it is explained in the story is something that Belasco could not potentially use up until the events of Dark Web.
So here’s an idea – what if Destiny didn’t specify which Soul-Sword would end up in Margali’s hands, causing Margali to immediately assume that she was talking about Belasco’s (as that would have been the only one in existence at that point) and try to steal it from him.
This then drew Belasco’s attention and caused him to realize that Nightcrawler was somehow the source of Margali’s powers. This would be why Belasco even had his eyes on the X-Men to begin with and why there was a soulless Nightcrawler back in the original Magik series – Kurt was Belasco’s original target. However, the soulless Nightcrawler and Belasco’s obvious shift in attention to Illyana clearly points to the idea that whatever experiments Belasco tried to use to obtain that magical power from Kurt, it only ended in disaster – causing him to turn to Illyana as a replacement.
~Part 10 – the Big Picture… stopping Enigma~
So, if Destiny was ultimately the cause behind all of this – from orchestrating Kurt’s birth, to handing him off to Margali, to telling Margali the prophecy about the Soul-Sword, what is it all ultimately for?
Well, what it is almost certainly not for is the given answer of defeating Azazel. Simply put, Azazel has never been so major of a threat that creating a super special prophecy child was needed. Heck, he was killed in Dark X-Men by the demonic version of Nightcrawler, so how difficult would it have been for Mystique and Destiny to do it? No, Azazel’s defeat was a bonus that Irene used to justify Kurt’s birth to Raven, not the focus.
Ultimately, there’s only one answer as to who Kurt was conceived to stop – Enigma. The original Nathaniel Essex who transcended space and time and who Irene knew to be an existential threat to all Mutantkind.
This answer even explains some of Irene’s other past actions, such as why she was involved with the Black Womb project – yes, she was keeping an eye on Sinister, but she was also learning as much about the mutant x-gene in preparation for Kurt’s birth.
It also explains why she handed Kurt over to Margali at all – the Winding Way is described in the datapages of Legion of X as being something akin to a No-Place – something that Enigma and other Dominions famously have trouble seeing into. Thus, by hiding Kurt’s magical half in the No-place until the time was right and creating the means by which to release him from that prison, Destiny ensures Enigma’s defeat.
Or does she? Because as far as the current X-Men comics have been going, there is nowhere near the development needed to have my theory take place. At this point, only the Hopesword is established which begs the question of whether the Winding Way is meant to be the thing to stop Enigma or if the Hopesword is. As of this point in X-Men Forever (2024) #4, the Hopesword is what was needed to stop Enigma… for some reason. So far, all that the sword has accomplished is being handed off from Kurt to Exodus to Hope… who was then killed by the Phoenix and sent the Hopesword back to Kurt. We’ll have to wait and see if anything else comes of it.
Personally though, I kind of like the idea that everything Destiny did in orchestrating the creation of the Hopesword and/or the Winding Way was kind of a pointless thing in the end. It’s kind of poignant for Destiny’s character – being the same woman who thought that killing Senator Kelly would prevent the Days of Future’s Past Timeline when she was in fact going to cause that very timeline to happen – to have all her manipulations and schemes to create this weapon against the existential threat that Enigma presented… only to have that threat be dealt with in some other way, leaving Irene to deal with the consequences of her own actions and question whether it was worth putting Kurt through all of that. Maybe that’s just me though.
Conclusion
So yeah, that’s most of the evidence supporting this theory. There are a few other things – such as Margali potentially being the reason why Kurt was killed during Second Coming and potentially causing his mental break down during the Extraordinary X-Men story, but those are more auxiliary to these major points.
But yeah, let me know what you guys think down below. Do you think this theory is onto something or is it way off base?
2024.05.19 07:04 Future_Horror2023 I feel like such a hypocrite...
I'm an alcoholism double winner. I've been a Q. I have a Q.
My last ever drunk memory is me throwing a wine glass into the kitchen sink during a fight with my Q last December. I have not touched a drop since. My drinking career is over. We broke up for about a month or so, now back together. Thankfully, we don't live together.
But here's the thing...my Q is a huge drinker. At least 20 units every day for years. I've watched him continue to do this with no envy at all. After a dozen weekends in a row of watching him drink to blackout, I told him I wanted to go out for just one day last weekend and do something that didn't involve me watching people drink.
Guess who called me that day, slurring his words, to tell me he was too "tired" to go out? So, I called him out on all of his denial about drinking and he confessed that he didn't want to come over because I was "on my high horse" about his drinking.
I just wanted one day off after a dozen booze soaked weekends.
Then he went the emotional blackmail route, telling me it was ironic that I suddenly had a problem, just as he was considering applying for jobs closer to my house. So I called him out on that attempt at manipulation too.
I know he's put up with a lot of my drunken stupidity while he just drinks until he passes out. Consequently, he sees no issue with his consumption and I feel like a hypocrite telling him I'm worried about his drinking.
Now, he's telling me he's still salty at me because of what I said last week.
And I was brutally honest and told him I'm not sorry. I accept that his addiction comes first before everything, even his own wellbeing. And it's just so sad.
I don't believe his bullshit and denial because I've told myself all the same lies before. You can't bullshit a bullshitter, you know?
So, yeah, I reckon this relationship is circling the drain. I love him too much to help him maintain his denial. And his addiction is angry about that. I am getting between him, the bottle, and his image of himself as "the good guy". One of those three has to go and it's likely to be me. We are at an impasse.
Deep sigh. Fully vented now.
Thanks internet strangers!
submitted by Future_Horror2023 to AlAnon [link] [comments]
My last ever drunk memory is me throwing a wine glass into the kitchen sink during a fight with my Q last December. I have not touched a drop since. My drinking career is over. We broke up for about a month or so, now back together. Thankfully, we don't live together.
But here's the thing...my Q is a huge drinker. At least 20 units every day for years. I've watched him continue to do this with no envy at all. After a dozen weekends in a row of watching him drink to blackout, I told him I wanted to go out for just one day last weekend and do something that didn't involve me watching people drink.
Guess who called me that day, slurring his words, to tell me he was too "tired" to go out? So, I called him out on all of his denial about drinking and he confessed that he didn't want to come over because I was "on my high horse" about his drinking.
I just wanted one day off after a dozen booze soaked weekends.
Then he went the emotional blackmail route, telling me it was ironic that I suddenly had a problem, just as he was considering applying for jobs closer to my house. So I called him out on that attempt at manipulation too.
I know he's put up with a lot of my drunken stupidity while he just drinks until he passes out. Consequently, he sees no issue with his consumption and I feel like a hypocrite telling him I'm worried about his drinking.
Now, he's telling me he's still salty at me because of what I said last week.
And I was brutally honest and told him I'm not sorry. I accept that his addiction comes first before everything, even his own wellbeing. And it's just so sad.
I don't believe his bullshit and denial because I've told myself all the same lies before. You can't bullshit a bullshitter, you know?
So, yeah, I reckon this relationship is circling the drain. I love him too much to help him maintain his denial. And his addiction is angry about that. I am getting between him, the bottle, and his image of himself as "the good guy". One of those three has to go and it's likely to be me. We are at an impasse.
Deep sigh. Fully vented now.
Thanks internet strangers!
2024.05.19 07:04 Ok_Start1379 Do you think therapy can help me (27F) and my (ex)fiancé (28M) repair our relationship?
My (ex)fiancé and I had been together for almost 6.5 years, engaged for almost 2.5. Over the last several months, my (ex)fiancé has sat me down to talk about our relationship about once a month. Before these conversations, he would shut down and barely speak to me for several days even when I would ask what was wrong. Then he would finally tell me he was ready to have a conversation and would express his frustrations with the relationship. By the time of our conversations, I would already be on the defensive from his recent behavior. I also generally do not receive feedback well. When he would try to tell me that he was unhappy in our relationship because I didn't compliment him enough, flirt with him enough, or tell him I loved him enough, I would shut down. I was not able to hear what he was really trying to tell me. Instead, I put up a wall and told him to love me for who I am. I basically asked him "If I'm happy in our relationship despite my frustrations, why can't you be?" I now realize that is not an appropriate or healthy response when your partner is trying to communicate with you.
I did try to hear him. I gifted him some lingerie for the first time and let him take a boudoir photo shoot of me wearing it. I started sending a few more cute messages. I tried to make more time to cuddle with him when he would ask. I tried to give him more hugs. I tried to thank him more for picking up around the house. I wrote him a cute letter and surprised him with a few gifts for Easter. However, about a month ago, we had another one of those conversations. Except this time the first things he brought up were 'wondering what else is out there' and talking about how other girls are always complimenting him. Again came the walls and extra defensiveness. I ended up writing him a letter talking about how I didn't know if I could ever be what he wanted me to be and that maybe he should think about calling things off. This was obviously a defense mechanism to try to beat him to the punch line and talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy. Three weeks later he would sit me down and tell me he wanted to know what else was out there again and that he didn't know if he could go through with marrying me. My efforts did not feel like enough for him and I understand why. I was having a hard time connecting my emotions with my actions which made my actions seem reactionary and not genuine or provoked by love.
I have been through a lot more trauma in my life than I realized. My dad was in the Navy while I was growing up. We had to move every three years. A very pivotal point in my life was when we moved when I was in the 6th grade. I lived right next door to my best friend. I was finding my love for math and theater. I also played soccer and was a Girl Scout. When we moved, I became very depressed, though I didn't understand that's what it was at the time. I stopped all of my extracurricular activities. I stopped getting too close to people because I knew I would have to move or they would have to move eventually. I mostly stayed in my room and kept to myself, even from my family. I also have struggled with anxiety for as long as I can remember. Then, in my senior year of high school, I got my first-ever boyfriend. We were in a relationship for over 4 years. In that relationship, I would always be the one to try to talk about our problems. I would be the one who would always want longer hugs and more cuddles. But it was not a healthy relationship. We broke up and got back together many times. I found several illicit texts to other girls on multiple occasions and he would always gaslight me by saying his younger brother stole his phone or I misinterpreted the messages. I think this caused me not to want to show my emotions because it wasn't reciprocated and resulted in heartache. Then, three years ago my younger brother died in a tragic car accident at the age of 17.
When I realized I could lose the love of my life, I realized that he was right about me not being affectionate enough. I had built up walls to protect myself. I thought I had made progress on my anxiety and depression, but I realized I was wrong. I also realized that I have issues with communication, trust, and vulnerability. I was a great partner in other ways and I did express my love in other ways. I moved across the country, coast to coast, with him to a state where I didn't know anyone so that he could attend his dream school. I take care of the household. I get the majority of the groceries. I do all of the cooking. I do all of the maintenance cleaning. I take care of our 2 cats and 1 dog. I say all of those in the present tense because we currently still live together but are sleeping in separate rooms. I also financially supported him by lending him money and letting him pay less of the rent because I made more money. I accept all of him including that he has terrible time management skills, he can have a hard time controlling his emotions at times, and he is disorganized and messy. I also accepted that I would have to wait for marriage and children because of his school and accepted that he did not have a lot of free time between school, work, and his hobbies. I supported his love for his hobbies by accepting his purchasing of expensive equipment even when he owed me money, traveling to watch several events that were important to him, and traveling to see him win an award from his job. I would write heartfelt cards for every holiday. I also bought him dozens of children's books about love that I wanted us to read to our children one day.
When I realized I could lose him, I felt something change inside me. It was like I could feel a hole being blown in the wall I had built up. I felt all my love for him overwhelm me. I couldn't hug him, kiss him, or tell him I love him enough. I tried to talk to him to apologize for my behavior and how badly I'd hurt him. I tried to explain how I felt like a different person and how I really wanted to work hard on improving myself as a partner to make our relationship work. I tried to prove my words with actions. I wrote a list of things I needed to work on including communication and being more affectionate. I also wrote out a list of ways to work on those things and actually started doing the things on the list. Some of the items I had already begun to do like hug and kiss him more and tell him I love him more. I also tried to ask more questions about his interests/hobbies/day. I was more vulnerable and talked with him about my feelings more. I even initiated intimacy, something I had really only done once in a blue moon when I was intoxicated.
Despite all of my efforts, over the next two weeks, he continued to say he did not know if he could be with me and wanted to know what else was out there. He was very wavering and said multiple times "I don't know what the right decision is." He said he could not trust that my changes would last and that it was probably too late. I begged him to try couples therapy, but he refused and said "Therapy takes too long" and basically said it wasn't worth the time. He finally broke up with me after 2 weeks of going back and forth and I was devastated. He later talked to a mutual friend of ours and changed his mind about therapy. I was so happy to hear that he had changed his mind. However, now I feel like I can't even trust him anymore. He's turning into a person I don't recognize and I don't know what he's capable of anymore. I don't know if the man I love still exists. When he told me he was now agreeable to try therapy he said "We're still broken up, but I won't talk to any other girls." and then promptly said "And it will give me more time to find a place to live if things don't work out." He deleted several Instagram posts that had photos of me after he agreed to try therapy which makes me think he's not actually that open to healing our relationship. He complained to me about how he might have to take out student loans after I told him he needed to pay me for half of the rent while we're broken up and not decreased rate he had been paying me. He also "checked on me" on the night of the 3rd year anniversary of my brother's death when he heard me crying. Then he just sat on the end of the bed scrolling his phone while I cried as if he was checking on me because he felt like he had to and not because he wanted to. When I asked him if he had some sort of deadline in mind for the therapy, because he had previously mentioned that it takes too long, he said July or August and I have a suspicion that is because a girl he likes is leaving for summer break but will be back at the end of August for the next semester.
I just feel like the way he has been acting is not how you act towards someone you were in a relationship with for almost 6.5 years. Especially after saying you still love them and have no negative feelings towards them. That means even though you don't think you are a good relationship match, you should still want to treat them with respect. You should care that they are hurting during this time. You should want to comfort them in their grief of a separate event. You should mean it if you say you want to try therapy.
TL; DR : Do you think therapy will help?
submitted by Ok_Start1379 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
I did try to hear him. I gifted him some lingerie for the first time and let him take a boudoir photo shoot of me wearing it. I started sending a few more cute messages. I tried to make more time to cuddle with him when he would ask. I tried to give him more hugs. I tried to thank him more for picking up around the house. I wrote him a cute letter and surprised him with a few gifts for Easter. However, about a month ago, we had another one of those conversations. Except this time the first things he brought up were 'wondering what else is out there' and talking about how other girls are always complimenting him. Again came the walls and extra defensiveness. I ended up writing him a letter talking about how I didn't know if I could ever be what he wanted me to be and that maybe he should think about calling things off. This was obviously a defense mechanism to try to beat him to the punch line and talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy. Three weeks later he would sit me down and tell me he wanted to know what else was out there again and that he didn't know if he could go through with marrying me. My efforts did not feel like enough for him and I understand why. I was having a hard time connecting my emotions with my actions which made my actions seem reactionary and not genuine or provoked by love.
I have been through a lot more trauma in my life than I realized. My dad was in the Navy while I was growing up. We had to move every three years. A very pivotal point in my life was when we moved when I was in the 6th grade. I lived right next door to my best friend. I was finding my love for math and theater. I also played soccer and was a Girl Scout. When we moved, I became very depressed, though I didn't understand that's what it was at the time. I stopped all of my extracurricular activities. I stopped getting too close to people because I knew I would have to move or they would have to move eventually. I mostly stayed in my room and kept to myself, even from my family. I also have struggled with anxiety for as long as I can remember. Then, in my senior year of high school, I got my first-ever boyfriend. We were in a relationship for over 4 years. In that relationship, I would always be the one to try to talk about our problems. I would be the one who would always want longer hugs and more cuddles. But it was not a healthy relationship. We broke up and got back together many times. I found several illicit texts to other girls on multiple occasions and he would always gaslight me by saying his younger brother stole his phone or I misinterpreted the messages. I think this caused me not to want to show my emotions because it wasn't reciprocated and resulted in heartache. Then, three years ago my younger brother died in a tragic car accident at the age of 17.
When I realized I could lose the love of my life, I realized that he was right about me not being affectionate enough. I had built up walls to protect myself. I thought I had made progress on my anxiety and depression, but I realized I was wrong. I also realized that I have issues with communication, trust, and vulnerability. I was a great partner in other ways and I did express my love in other ways. I moved across the country, coast to coast, with him to a state where I didn't know anyone so that he could attend his dream school. I take care of the household. I get the majority of the groceries. I do all of the cooking. I do all of the maintenance cleaning. I take care of our 2 cats and 1 dog. I say all of those in the present tense because we currently still live together but are sleeping in separate rooms. I also financially supported him by lending him money and letting him pay less of the rent because I made more money. I accept all of him including that he has terrible time management skills, he can have a hard time controlling his emotions at times, and he is disorganized and messy. I also accepted that I would have to wait for marriage and children because of his school and accepted that he did not have a lot of free time between school, work, and his hobbies. I supported his love for his hobbies by accepting his purchasing of expensive equipment even when he owed me money, traveling to watch several events that were important to him, and traveling to see him win an award from his job. I would write heartfelt cards for every holiday. I also bought him dozens of children's books about love that I wanted us to read to our children one day.
When I realized I could lose him, I felt something change inside me. It was like I could feel a hole being blown in the wall I had built up. I felt all my love for him overwhelm me. I couldn't hug him, kiss him, or tell him I love him enough. I tried to talk to him to apologize for my behavior and how badly I'd hurt him. I tried to explain how I felt like a different person and how I really wanted to work hard on improving myself as a partner to make our relationship work. I tried to prove my words with actions. I wrote a list of things I needed to work on including communication and being more affectionate. I also wrote out a list of ways to work on those things and actually started doing the things on the list. Some of the items I had already begun to do like hug and kiss him more and tell him I love him more. I also tried to ask more questions about his interests/hobbies/day. I was more vulnerable and talked with him about my feelings more. I even initiated intimacy, something I had really only done once in a blue moon when I was intoxicated.
Despite all of my efforts, over the next two weeks, he continued to say he did not know if he could be with me and wanted to know what else was out there. He was very wavering and said multiple times "I don't know what the right decision is." He said he could not trust that my changes would last and that it was probably too late. I begged him to try couples therapy, but he refused and said "Therapy takes too long" and basically said it wasn't worth the time. He finally broke up with me after 2 weeks of going back and forth and I was devastated. He later talked to a mutual friend of ours and changed his mind about therapy. I was so happy to hear that he had changed his mind. However, now I feel like I can't even trust him anymore. He's turning into a person I don't recognize and I don't know what he's capable of anymore. I don't know if the man I love still exists. When he told me he was now agreeable to try therapy he said "We're still broken up, but I won't talk to any other girls." and then promptly said "And it will give me more time to find a place to live if things don't work out." He deleted several Instagram posts that had photos of me after he agreed to try therapy which makes me think he's not actually that open to healing our relationship. He complained to me about how he might have to take out student loans after I told him he needed to pay me for half of the rent while we're broken up and not decreased rate he had been paying me. He also "checked on me" on the night of the 3rd year anniversary of my brother's death when he heard me crying. Then he just sat on the end of the bed scrolling his phone while I cried as if he was checking on me because he felt like he had to and not because he wanted to. When I asked him if he had some sort of deadline in mind for the therapy, because he had previously mentioned that it takes too long, he said July or August and I have a suspicion that is because a girl he likes is leaving for summer break but will be back at the end of August for the next semester.
I just feel like the way he has been acting is not how you act towards someone you were in a relationship with for almost 6.5 years. Especially after saying you still love them and have no negative feelings towards them. That means even though you don't think you are a good relationship match, you should still want to treat them with respect. You should care that they are hurting during this time. You should want to comfort them in their grief of a separate event. You should mean it if you say you want to try therapy.
TL; DR : Do you think therapy will help?
2024.05.19 07:03 Ok_Jelly_3340 Raising the Minimum Wage in Tennessee: How to Get Started
Facts:
Petition for Increasing the Minimum Wage in Tennessee
To the Tennessee General Assembly:
We, the undersigned residents of Tennessee, believe that the current minimum wage of $7.25 per hour is insufficient to meet the basic needs of individuals and families in our state. Given the significant rise in living costs and inflation since the last adjustment in 2009, we urgently call for an increase in the state minimum wage to a livable wage of $13.25 per hour. This adjustment will ensure that all working Tennesseans can afford necessities such as housing, food, healthcare, and transportation.
By signing this petition, we express our support for this necessary change and urge the Tennessee General Assembly to take immediate action.
Name Address Signature
submitted by Ok_Jelly_3340 to Knoxville [link] [comments]
- 30 states have a higher minimum wage than Tennessee's $7.25.
- Tennessee last raised its minimum wage in 2009.
- Since then, inflation has risen by about 36.6%.
- A decent living wage for a single adult in Tennessee is about $13.25 per hour.
Steps to Raise the Minimum Wage
Step 1: Organize a Petition Drive
Form a Nonpartisan Group:- Create or join a group focused solely on raising the minimum wage, without political affiliations.
- Use platforms like Zoom for virtual meetings. Schedule regular meetings and create a structured agenda. Use social media and local forums to recruit members.
- Signature Requirement: For statewide initiatives, the number of signatures required is significant and typically a percentage of the votes cast in the last gubernatorial election. The exact number can be confirmed with the Tennessee Secretary of State's office.
- Phone: (615) 741-2819
- For local initiatives, like in Knoxville, a charter amendment can be proposed if at least one registered voter files the petition with the county election commission for pre-approval (TCA 2-5-151).
- Draft a clear and concise petition for a minimum wage increase. Here is a sample:
Petition for Increasing the Minimum Wage in Tennessee
To the Tennessee General Assembly:
We, the undersigned residents of Tennessee, believe that the current minimum wage of $7.25 per hour is insufficient to meet the basic needs of individuals and families in our state. Given the significant rise in living costs and inflation since the last adjustment in 2009, we urgently call for an increase in the state minimum wage to a livable wage of $13.25 per hour. This adjustment will ensure that all working Tennesseans can afford necessities such as housing, food, healthcare, and transportation.
By signing this petition, we express our support for this necessary change and urge the Tennessee General Assembly to take immediate action.
Name Address Signature
Step 2: Collect Signatures
- Host Community Events: Organize events like town hall meetings, local fairs, or farmers' markets to gather signatures.
- Utilize Local Networks: Leverage small-town connections where everyone knows each other to spread the word and gather support.
- Set Up Booths: Place booths in high-traffic areas like grocery stores, libraries, and community centers to collect signatures.
- Door-to-Door Campaigning: Go door-to-door in your neighborhood to ask for signatures.
Step 3: Raise Awareness
- Social Media Campaign: Use platforms like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram to inform the community and encourage them to sign the petition.
- Local Media: Reach out to local newspapers, radio stations, and TV channels to cover your campaign.
- Flyers and Posters: Distribute flyers and put up posters in local businesses and public spaces.
Step 4: Submit the Petition
- Verify Signatures: Ensure all collected signatures meet the requirements.
- Submit to Authorities: Submit the petition to the appropriate state or local authority for validation.
Deadlines and Requirements
- Submission Deadline: Typically, signatures must be submitted several months before the general election to allow time for verification. For 2024, check with the Tennessee Secretary of State for specific deadlines and the number of required signatures (Ballotpedia) (Tennessee Secretary of State).
Key Points:
- Local Efforts: It is more challenging to change the minimum wage at a local level like Knoxville due to state preemption laws, but local advocacy can still be influential.
- Statewide Efforts: For statewide initiatives, a significant number of signatures is required based on the last gubernatorial election.
Other Ways to Advocate for a Higher State Minimum Wage:
- Legislative Advocacy:
- Lobby Lawmakers: Work with advocacy groups to meet with state legislators and push for a bill to increase the minimum wage.
- Public Campaigns: Use media campaigns, public rallies, and social media to raise awareness and put pressure on lawmakers.
- Coalition Building: Form alliances with labor unions, community organizations, and businesses that support higher wages.
- Electoral Strategy:
- Support Pro-Wage Increase Candidates: Work to elect state legislators who support raising the minimum wage.
- Voter Education: Educate voters about candidates' positions on the minimum wage and encourage them to vote accordingly.
- Public Pressure:
- Media Engagement: Write op-eds, participate in interviews, and use social media to highlight the need for a wage increase.
- Petitions and Letters: Organize letter-writing campaigns and online petitions to demonstrate public support.
- Local Government Initiatives:
- City and County Ordinances: While state law may preempt local minimum wage increases, some municipalities might still be able to implement higher wages for city or county employees or through specific local initiatives.
- Business Initiatives:
- Encourage Voluntary Increases: Encourage businesses to voluntarily raise wages and create public recognition programs for those that do.
- Partnerships with Businesses: Work with businesses to demonstrate the benefits of higher wages, such as reduced turnover and increased productivity.
- Legal and Policy Research:
- Economic Studies: Commission or conduct studies that show the positive impacts of a higher minimum wage on the economy and present these findings to policymakers and the public.
- Policy Proposals: Develop detailed policy proposals outlining how a wage increase can be implemented and funded.
Steps to Take Right Now:
- Form or Join an Advocacy Group: Find like-minded individuals and organizations to build a coalition.
- Contact State Legislators: Start a dialogue with state representatives and senators to gauge their support and educate them on the issue.
- Engage the Public: Use social media, community meetings, and local media to build broad public support.
- Prepare for Long-Term Efforts: Understand that changing the minimum wage may take time and sustained effort.
2024.05.19 07:03 bigdumbhick Gone to the dark side - Tele
I just posted this in guitar
Im 62 years old. I've been playing acoustic for 40+ years. Im primarily a Bluegrass type player. I've recorded several albums (Google my username). I'm not much of a lead player. I'm a strong rhythm player. I play the melody from within open chord positions.
I've gone to the dark side and bought my first Tele. This thing is totally weird. It has sustain. Knobs are getting in the way. I'm having to completely adjust my right hand position and playing style. Less arm movement more wrist. I find myself playing more Barre chords on electric than on acoustic. I just put the guitar in the shop today for a set up with much heavier strings. (11s)
I know nothing about playing electric. This doesn't feel anything like my D-18. It was suggested that I approach this like a total newbie. Which YouTube channel would you recommend? I know all my chords, which chords belong to which keys. I can play Barre chords all the way up the neck.
But how do I make this transition to electric? Do I start from scratch? Learn scales? Caged patterns? Where do I start?
submitted by bigdumbhick to guitarlessons [link] [comments]
Im 62 years old. I've been playing acoustic for 40+ years. Im primarily a Bluegrass type player. I've recorded several albums (Google my username). I'm not much of a lead player. I'm a strong rhythm player. I play the melody from within open chord positions.
I've gone to the dark side and bought my first Tele. This thing is totally weird. It has sustain. Knobs are getting in the way. I'm having to completely adjust my right hand position and playing style. Less arm movement more wrist. I find myself playing more Barre chords on electric than on acoustic. I just put the guitar in the shop today for a set up with much heavier strings. (11s)
I know nothing about playing electric. This doesn't feel anything like my D-18. It was suggested that I approach this like a total newbie. Which YouTube channel would you recommend? I know all my chords, which chords belong to which keys. I can play Barre chords all the way up the neck.
But how do I make this transition to electric? Do I start from scratch? Learn scales? Caged patterns? Where do I start?
2024.05.19 07:03 werkrheum i feel so stuck right now
TW for intimate partner violence/domestic violence
i don’t want to give too much away in here for obvious reasons, but i (F20s) and my boyfriend (M20s) live together. i have become financially dependent on him due to being stuck in a physical and mental rut. i finally feel like im becoming a person again and like i can pick myself up, but my brain is making it so damn hard.
my bf put his hands on me once and left marks on my arms, he has screamed at me multiple times, thrown things at me, destroyed our spare bedroom in a fit of rage, and more. this started around when i became physically ill, however the red flags were always there, and i feel like a dumbass for ignoring them. i’m trying so hard to break the cycle but i can’t escape angry men.
i decided recently that i will be leaving him when i can. i’m just frustrated bc it’s going to take at least a few months to get there, and i don’t want to live like this for another day. i love him, and he is so wonderful in so many ways, but there is not enough love that he could show me that would take away the pain.
it clicked when, after a year of feeling almost nothing sexually/romantically for anyone, i found myself starting to fall for my best friend (again; i had a crush on him previously). i’m frustrated because i really don’t need the emotions right now on top of everything else, but he has shown me over years that a man can be trusted… i also feel disgusted with myself for even having feelings for somebody else.
i just want to get fully back on my feet, get myself into my own space (or with a roommate lol), and let myself live again. i think he lost me mentally when he bruised me, and the tie was severed when he threw something at me with sharp tacks in it. i wish i left him sooner.
im just tired of feeling love for a man who has hurt me, while also falling for somebody wonderful. i just want to get my life together.
submitted by werkrheum to Vent [link] [comments]
i don’t want to give too much away in here for obvious reasons, but i (F20s) and my boyfriend (M20s) live together. i have become financially dependent on him due to being stuck in a physical and mental rut. i finally feel like im becoming a person again and like i can pick myself up, but my brain is making it so damn hard.
my bf put his hands on me once and left marks on my arms, he has screamed at me multiple times, thrown things at me, destroyed our spare bedroom in a fit of rage, and more. this started around when i became physically ill, however the red flags were always there, and i feel like a dumbass for ignoring them. i’m trying so hard to break the cycle but i can’t escape angry men.
i decided recently that i will be leaving him when i can. i’m just frustrated bc it’s going to take at least a few months to get there, and i don’t want to live like this for another day. i love him, and he is so wonderful in so many ways, but there is not enough love that he could show me that would take away the pain.
it clicked when, after a year of feeling almost nothing sexually/romantically for anyone, i found myself starting to fall for my best friend (again; i had a crush on him previously). i’m frustrated because i really don’t need the emotions right now on top of everything else, but he has shown me over years that a man can be trusted… i also feel disgusted with myself for even having feelings for somebody else.
i just want to get fully back on my feet, get myself into my own space (or with a roommate lol), and let myself live again. i think he lost me mentally when he bruised me, and the tie was severed when he threw something at me with sharp tacks in it. i wish i left him sooner.
im just tired of feeling love for a man who has hurt me, while also falling for somebody wonderful. i just want to get my life together.
2024.05.19 07:03 Individual-Chicken79 Help My Cousin
Hello
I (21F) have been fairly close with my aunt, uncle, and cousins most of my life. my siblings and I grew up with them and we’ve spent many hours with them.
My cousin (17 almost 18M) just graduated from high school. my aunt and uncle are very controlling and want to control him for the rest of his life. He was dating this girl that’s not a christian and his parents looooved her and she got along well with them as well as some of his siblings. He really liked her and put a lot of work into their relationship. My aunt and uncle wanted him to go to fight school in her town and stay with her and her family after he graduated. This isnt a great idea as it would be good for him to go to college and experience the world. Also living with your girlfriend is not a good thing i think.… so they dated for almost a year when he found out she was cheating on him and was sending nudes to different guys. It devastated him and at one point called her and was crying and she laughed at him. They broke up and he began to think more about what he was going to do after high school. He visited a school near me with a good flight program and a good football team that he could get into. It seemed like he really liked it and was thinking about going there. I talked to his older sister, my other cousin, and she thinks being in a team would be really good for him since he thrives with teams. He was in football in high school and was really good. the school is also in a good location and not too expensive. Today, about a month after he visited the college, I saw him and he was with his ex girlfriend and theyre back together. He’s now planning on doing what my aunt and uncle wanted him to do and living with her. I really love him and I dont want him to throw his life away for a girl who isnt good just because his parents like her. I want to talk to him but dont know how to… hes a very basic christian and im not sure if he really cares anymore but I hope he does. My sister (19F) is really close to him and has talked to him but she’s also very blunt and can be rude. Today she went up to his girlfriend and said ”i thought you were a cheater.” To which his girlfriend replied ”that was a mistake” and walked away.
Is there anything I can do? He has so much potential and I dont want him to waste his life.
submitted by Individual-Chicken79 to ChristianRelationship [link] [comments]
I (21F) have been fairly close with my aunt, uncle, and cousins most of my life. my siblings and I grew up with them and we’ve spent many hours with them.
My cousin (17 almost 18M) just graduated from high school. my aunt and uncle are very controlling and want to control him for the rest of his life. He was dating this girl that’s not a christian and his parents looooved her and she got along well with them as well as some of his siblings. He really liked her and put a lot of work into their relationship. My aunt and uncle wanted him to go to fight school in her town and stay with her and her family after he graduated. This isnt a great idea as it would be good for him to go to college and experience the world. Also living with your girlfriend is not a good thing i think.… so they dated for almost a year when he found out she was cheating on him and was sending nudes to different guys. It devastated him and at one point called her and was crying and she laughed at him. They broke up and he began to think more about what he was going to do after high school. He visited a school near me with a good flight program and a good football team that he could get into. It seemed like he really liked it and was thinking about going there. I talked to his older sister, my other cousin, and she thinks being in a team would be really good for him since he thrives with teams. He was in football in high school and was really good. the school is also in a good location and not too expensive. Today, about a month after he visited the college, I saw him and he was with his ex girlfriend and theyre back together. He’s now planning on doing what my aunt and uncle wanted him to do and living with her. I really love him and I dont want him to throw his life away for a girl who isnt good just because his parents like her. I want to talk to him but dont know how to… hes a very basic christian and im not sure if he really cares anymore but I hope he does. My sister (19F) is really close to him and has talked to him but she’s also very blunt and can be rude. Today she went up to his girlfriend and said ”i thought you were a cheater.” To which his girlfriend replied ”that was a mistake” and walked away.
Is there anything I can do? He has so much potential and I dont want him to waste his life.
2024.05.19 07:02 burnerback9 23F Insecurities keeping me from being with women
Hey guys,
Wouldn't consider myself to be a late bloomer, but I am probably not going to have my first successful relationship with a woman until I'm 30 or something.
I consider myself to be gynosexual - I'm very attracted to feminine looking people, especially feminine presenting women.
I was in a relationship with one bio guy that lasted about 2 months, and he was bisexual and even considered himself to be potentially trans-femme (she/he was undecided on their gender identity)
Other than that, all my experiences have been with women. I used to be a sex worker, and homeless so I would sleep with men to "get things" (as terrible as that sounds)
I cringe looking back at my past with women, how I turned some off with my insecurities and behaviors. I just feel like I'm a big ick for femme women.
I don't want to relive some of those experiences, but I will tell you what in particular phases me:
submitted by burnerback9 to latebloomerlesbians [link] [comments]
Wouldn't consider myself to be a late bloomer, but I am probably not going to have my first successful relationship with a woman until I'm 30 or something.
I consider myself to be gynosexual - I'm very attracted to feminine looking people, especially feminine presenting women.
I was in a relationship with one bio guy that lasted about 2 months, and he was bisexual and even considered himself to be potentially trans-femme (she/he was undecided on their gender identity)
Other than that, all my experiences have been with women. I used to be a sex worker, and homeless so I would sleep with men to "get things" (as terrible as that sounds)
I cringe looking back at my past with women, how I turned some off with my insecurities and behaviors. I just feel like I'm a big ick for femme women.
I don't want to relive some of those experiences, but I will tell you what in particular phases me:
- for one, I'm broke (working on it - in school for a degree - will aim for admin work upon graduation and I need to get on meds for mental health - my ADHD renders me broke and useless)
- I seem to only attract masc women. I have a somewhat femme presentation - my body is very curvy and soft but I consider my essence and personality to be a bit more masc. It seems like femme women only want butches and mascs. WHERE ARE THE FEMMES THAT LIKE OTHER FEMMES.
- Feel like my marriage with a woman won't be "respected" by my family - granted, I went NC with my dad and I'm going as far as to consider changing my social security number and name so he can't find me again. It's just really emotionally hard to start a new life without the family you already know. But if not my family, then society in general. I live in Texas too - but I plan on leaving the US and going to Australia or SEA so hopefully, I'll be a bit more accepted over seas. I just want my relationship to a woman to be viewed as legitimate to that of a man. And I feel like lesbians are especially targeted for hate/SA crimes when they date out in public.
- fear that a femme woman will one day leave me for a masc woman or even a man. I feel this is pretty self explanatory.
2024.05.19 07:02 WaitingForTheBus_ Really bad experience with chihuahua breeder
Long post, sorry.
Be patient with me- My previous dog, I found wandering around a parking lot, so this is my first time purchasing a dog, and I’m afraid I might have encountered a backyard breeder (although it’s hard for me to tell, I’m not good at determining a good breeder from a bad one).
She had her dogs listed on puppies.com, and I wasn’t planning on even getting a dog. I honestly was just scrolling because my old dog passed away this year and I’ve been extremely depressed without him, so looking at pictures of other dogs sometimes cheers me up a little.
Then I stumbled across a puppy that stopped me in my tracks because he looked so similar to my old dog. I contacted the breeder and asked about him. She told me he’s 16 weeks and she really wants to sell him with his brother, but would be willing to to sell just one.
I didn’t know anything about littermate syndrome and thought separating two dogs she said were bonded would cause them anxiety, so I told her I’d get both and put a $500 deposit. She texted me that they are up to date on their shots.
Then, I started doing research on how to potty train two dogs at once, and every single article I read said not to get two puppies from the same litter.
I called back the breeder and expressed my concerns, and told her because of my research, I will only be getting one dog. She got extremely mad and told me she already posted on social media that both have found a home. She then told me that chihuahuas are dogs that need to be with other dogs in the house, and people who have only got one dog from her call her back all the time telling her they wished they had listened and gotten 2. She was throwing so much information at me, telling me how she has sold 2 all the time and not one dog has ever developed littermate syndrome. I told her I’d call her back in the morning with my decision, even though I’d already made up my mind on getting just one. I just wanted to ease the tension.
The next day, I called her back and said I’d only be getting one, and that I was not willing to debate the issue any further because the research was clear. Then, despite me already putting the deposit down, she told me she’s going to call someone else first to see if they’ll take both dogs before she’d give just the one to me.
Later she texted and said the person was not willing, so I could have just the one. To me, this proved she was motivated solely by profit, because if she truly believed that they need to be together, she would’ve never backed off in the span on 24 hours. I proceeded to tell her that I felt disrespected by the way she spoke to me, and threw her logic right back at her, saying that I could l not in good conscience take just the one if all that she said yesterday was true.
Note: I have a speech impediment. It’s very noticeable. And she noticed, and interpreted I guess as me being autistic. She texted me that she could tell I’m on the spectrum (which I’m not at all), and told me “I’m not your enemy. I’m not trying to belittle you. You’re in flight or fight mode.”
Other red flags about this breeder. She has numerous litters. She has puppies that are 15 weeks, 4 weeks, and 3 weeks. She has blue merle chihuahuas. She told me that dogs on medications only live 8-9 years, that heartworm prevention meds kill their livers and kidneys and to not let my vet push any more vaccines on then then the ones they’ve received. She also heavily pushed back when I told her I plan to crate train.
Looking back, I feel bad about myself that I even contacted her to begin with. It was absolutely against my better judgment and a decision made purely on the emotion of missing my old dog. Not going to lie though, I do feel really hurt by the whole thing and it’s made me nervous about ever getting another dog.
Note to add: I check my shelter on a regular basis. Unfortunately 95% of the dogs in the shelter near me are pit bulls or shepherds. Nothing against those breeds, but I’m scared of all big dogs after an attack when I was young and love chihuahuas. I’ve always heard chis and chi mixes are popular at shelters, but I’ve never seen one in mine, and that’s the breed I want
submitted by WaitingForTheBus_ to Chihuahua [link] [comments]
Be patient with me- My previous dog, I found wandering around a parking lot, so this is my first time purchasing a dog, and I’m afraid I might have encountered a backyard breeder (although it’s hard for me to tell, I’m not good at determining a good breeder from a bad one).
She had her dogs listed on puppies.com, and I wasn’t planning on even getting a dog. I honestly was just scrolling because my old dog passed away this year and I’ve been extremely depressed without him, so looking at pictures of other dogs sometimes cheers me up a little.
Then I stumbled across a puppy that stopped me in my tracks because he looked so similar to my old dog. I contacted the breeder and asked about him. She told me he’s 16 weeks and she really wants to sell him with his brother, but would be willing to to sell just one.
I didn’t know anything about littermate syndrome and thought separating two dogs she said were bonded would cause them anxiety, so I told her I’d get both and put a $500 deposit. She texted me that they are up to date on their shots.
Then, I started doing research on how to potty train two dogs at once, and every single article I read said not to get two puppies from the same litter.
I called back the breeder and expressed my concerns, and told her because of my research, I will only be getting one dog. She got extremely mad and told me she already posted on social media that both have found a home. She then told me that chihuahuas are dogs that need to be with other dogs in the house, and people who have only got one dog from her call her back all the time telling her they wished they had listened and gotten 2. She was throwing so much information at me, telling me how she has sold 2 all the time and not one dog has ever developed littermate syndrome. I told her I’d call her back in the morning with my decision, even though I’d already made up my mind on getting just one. I just wanted to ease the tension.
The next day, I called her back and said I’d only be getting one, and that I was not willing to debate the issue any further because the research was clear. Then, despite me already putting the deposit down, she told me she’s going to call someone else first to see if they’ll take both dogs before she’d give just the one to me.
Later she texted and said the person was not willing, so I could have just the one. To me, this proved she was motivated solely by profit, because if she truly believed that they need to be together, she would’ve never backed off in the span on 24 hours. I proceeded to tell her that I felt disrespected by the way she spoke to me, and threw her logic right back at her, saying that I could l not in good conscience take just the one if all that she said yesterday was true.
Note: I have a speech impediment. It’s very noticeable. And she noticed, and interpreted I guess as me being autistic. She texted me that she could tell I’m on the spectrum (which I’m not at all), and told me “I’m not your enemy. I’m not trying to belittle you. You’re in flight or fight mode.”
Other red flags about this breeder. She has numerous litters. She has puppies that are 15 weeks, 4 weeks, and 3 weeks. She has blue merle chihuahuas. She told me that dogs on medications only live 8-9 years, that heartworm prevention meds kill their livers and kidneys and to not let my vet push any more vaccines on then then the ones they’ve received. She also heavily pushed back when I told her I plan to crate train.
Looking back, I feel bad about myself that I even contacted her to begin with. It was absolutely against my better judgment and a decision made purely on the emotion of missing my old dog. Not going to lie though, I do feel really hurt by the whole thing and it’s made me nervous about ever getting another dog.
Note to add: I check my shelter on a regular basis. Unfortunately 95% of the dogs in the shelter near me are pit bulls or shepherds. Nothing against those breeds, but I’m scared of all big dogs after an attack when I was young and love chihuahuas. I’ve always heard chis and chi mixes are popular at shelters, but I’ve never seen one in mine, and that’s the breed I want
2024.05.19 07:01 ventingawayaccount I’m “graduating” high school soon and I’m going to cry
I was diagnosed with an invisible disability in grade 6. Before that people assumed I was a whiny kid. I got injured at school and that’s how my diagnosis journey started. Now I’m in grade 12. I haven’t gone to school in months but I’m still enrolled in classes just in case one day I magically get better. I wish I wasn’t in grade 12, maybe younger? Just so I could go do the fun graduation activities like pride week, volunteering, do sports? I’m so jealous of my “friends” (do they even still consider me a friend? Idk at this point no one texts me anyone) my cousins, and my neighbors that are my age.
I use to do sports before everything went bad. My cousins are super athletic and every time i hear about them it’s all about sports. I can’t help it but every time I hear about them I leave the room and cry. I’m starting to hate them too but it’s not their fault and I feel so guilty.
I heard my neighbor is getting on honour roll and because if that they are getting a special extra rope for their grad gown. When I was able to go to school it was fun for me and I did good. If I wasn’t sick that could have been me.
I had a boyfriend- he was a childhood friend so he knew everything but he broke up with me in a week later cause he couldn’t handle me being disabled. All my friends have been in multiple relationships and Ive only have a short lived one and we didn’t even go on a date.
Yes I have talked to a therapist and I’m on meds. I probably should ask for a higher dose but I’m already on so many different ones I’m getting bad side effects of them too.
My parents cry when I talk about it. I’m an only child so they put all their eggs in my defective basket and I wish they had another child that could’ve been not sick. My parents are getting older and not as well. I wish I could help out and take care of them more but I can’t even take care of myself.
I don’t have enough credits (completed classes) to officially graduate high school so yea I’m doing the fancy walk to get an empty diploma thing literally this week. I used “being delusional is the solution” until I couldn’t be delusional anymore. Getting the gown and an outfit for it, plus learning where and how the walk works is horrible. Also hearing about what my friends and family are planning to do after grad is bad too. I’ve deleted most of my social media but somehow I still know about their lives.
I basically gave up all my hopes and aspirations for my future and idk what I’m going to do now. Bum off my parents for the rest of my life? I know people have it worse than me and it makes me feel bad about crying over this.
The only good thing I have is my parents and my cat. And I guess no one I know has a cat so I have that going for me. Idk I just wanted to put this out there. If I talk to my parents about it they cry and I know they both have a depression diagnosis so I don’t want to make it worse for them but as I’m typing this I’m crying and I have to say good night to them soon they they’ll know. Cat is making me feel better. She’s not smart so if I die she’ll think I abandoned her and I can’t have her thinking that so I’m here for her and my parents. Idk where this is going now. Thanks for reading I guess.
submitted by ventingawayaccount to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]
I use to do sports before everything went bad. My cousins are super athletic and every time i hear about them it’s all about sports. I can’t help it but every time I hear about them I leave the room and cry. I’m starting to hate them too but it’s not their fault and I feel so guilty.
I heard my neighbor is getting on honour roll and because if that they are getting a special extra rope for their grad gown. When I was able to go to school it was fun for me and I did good. If I wasn’t sick that could have been me.
I had a boyfriend- he was a childhood friend so he knew everything but he broke up with me in a week later cause he couldn’t handle me being disabled. All my friends have been in multiple relationships and Ive only have a short lived one and we didn’t even go on a date.
Yes I have talked to a therapist and I’m on meds. I probably should ask for a higher dose but I’m already on so many different ones I’m getting bad side effects of them too.
My parents cry when I talk about it. I’m an only child so they put all their eggs in my defective basket and I wish they had another child that could’ve been not sick. My parents are getting older and not as well. I wish I could help out and take care of them more but I can’t even take care of myself.
I don’t have enough credits (completed classes) to officially graduate high school so yea I’m doing the fancy walk to get an empty diploma thing literally this week. I used “being delusional is the solution” until I couldn’t be delusional anymore. Getting the gown and an outfit for it, plus learning where and how the walk works is horrible. Also hearing about what my friends and family are planning to do after grad is bad too. I’ve deleted most of my social media but somehow I still know about their lives.
I basically gave up all my hopes and aspirations for my future and idk what I’m going to do now. Bum off my parents for the rest of my life? I know people have it worse than me and it makes me feel bad about crying over this.
The only good thing I have is my parents and my cat. And I guess no one I know has a cat so I have that going for me. Idk I just wanted to put this out there. If I talk to my parents about it they cry and I know they both have a depression diagnosis so I don’t want to make it worse for them but as I’m typing this I’m crying and I have to say good night to them soon they they’ll know. Cat is making me feel better. She’s not smart so if I die she’ll think I abandoned her and I can’t have her thinking that so I’m here for her and my parents. Idk where this is going now. Thanks for reading I guess.
2024.05.19 07:01 Perfect-Effect5897 Hurt by normies inadvertently
No neurotypical person would think I have autism, so there are times when I get hurt a lot due to my masking abilities. Here's a recent story off my chest:
I was doing a live demo of a video game under development and an autistic guy came in to give his feedback. He was very blunt and aggressive (as am I naturally without masking and which is EXACTLY the communication type I get any value or satisfaction from).
He made the rest of my team to be completely at loss with words since they were not used to blunt honesty. They gave each other looks while laughing, like: "what a freak". They were being just super rude, acting like hs bullies and like the guy wasn't there.
Then there's me, who was SO happy and excited this guy showed up. He literally saved me from a night of being surrounded by scary weirdos (normies lol) and I got unmask and relax for a moment. So we debated about the game for a while with valuable results on both ends. It was great!
After he left my team bursted out laughing and disregarding everything he had said due to his output. All of that felt like they were bullying ME to my face. Because I really am no different underneath my mask. idk I felt super sad for the guy and for me despite us actually talking about valuable things regarding our game. I ended up leaving early because I got so put off by my team.
Conclusion: I think I have to try to mask less from now on with my team because fuck them honestly. Adult people not knowing how to have a convo that doesn't bend to their needs and feels. ughhhhhh actually you're the joke.
Anyone else share similar tales?
submitted by Perfect-Effect5897 to AutismInWomen [link] [comments]
I was doing a live demo of a video game under development and an autistic guy came in to give his feedback. He was very blunt and aggressive (as am I naturally without masking and which is EXACTLY the communication type I get any value or satisfaction from).
He made the rest of my team to be completely at loss with words since they were not used to blunt honesty. They gave each other looks while laughing, like: "what a freak". They were being just super rude, acting like hs bullies and like the guy wasn't there.
Then there's me, who was SO happy and excited this guy showed up. He literally saved me from a night of being surrounded by scary weirdos (normies lol) and I got unmask and relax for a moment. So we debated about the game for a while with valuable results on both ends. It was great!
After he left my team bursted out laughing and disregarding everything he had said due to his output. All of that felt like they were bullying ME to my face. Because I really am no different underneath my mask. idk I felt super sad for the guy and for me despite us actually talking about valuable things regarding our game. I ended up leaving early because I got so put off by my team.
Conclusion: I think I have to try to mask less from now on with my team because fuck them honestly. Adult people not knowing how to have a convo that doesn't bend to their needs and feels. ughhhhhh actually you're the joke.
Anyone else share similar tales?
2024.05.19 07:00 minnel567 Want to talk about this Isekai that is underrated but is actually good
https://ncode.syosetu.com/n5534co/
https://www.novelupdates.com/series/re-tale-of-a-hero/
https://forums.animesuki.com/showthread.php?t=141085
I don't really post much but I just want to know if someone in this sub already read about this isekai which for me one of the decent ones out there unfortunately it's not much translated.
It's a WN and have more than 2k chapters of main story and 1k+ chapters of sidestory back in earth.
Genre:Isekai,Harem,Fantasy,Scifi,Tragedy?(Flash back),PoV,Mystery
Main plot A whole school is transported to another world with our mc in it. Surprisingly enough all amenities are still working including water, electricity and sewage. People don't just get powers yhough amd yhey need to learn things to survive. The twist is the MC actually already get isekaid in this world , he even brought the former demon lord with him and is disguising as a student(she's his lover and she's not the only one)and is thinking of going back after creating the magic to do so, he thought it's a little bit early but surprised that he is transported back 500 years in the future. He now plans on guiding the whole school to survive in the background while hiding his powers, that mind you he doesn't really mind if discovered but it's easier for him if they don't know much about it( chaos will ensue if they think he can bring them home just because his op)
Characters: You can check the characters here but I'll mainly talk about MC Kaito Amane, the MC, normaly is a chill dude and level headed his your typical normal black haired mc the only difference is his been describe to be handsome instead of the usual loser mc has a circle of friends but is not one of those every body in school knows him type of popular. That is until he stops restricting his magic then he becomes brash and a little bit arrogant but not the douche type arrogant, just the confident one , he also is a battle maniac even if he doesn't want to admit it, and surprisingly this is actually his real personality the reason for him being so calm and collected type or quite type in his suppressed state is because mana is directly link to the psyche and suppressing it also suppresses his emotions or atleast lessen it.
Socially the guy know how to make friends, he hates slavers to his core (because of past experience) and think owning a slave is one of the worst thing a human can do(depending on how the slave state though , he understood that slaves can only survive as slave sometimes). On the Harem aspect of the story the guy is a chad , no rape (there's just that one time when schatach rape him because she's stronger that time), he don't engage sexual activities with minor(his older than he looks but there's a reason why he still go to highschool) and he does his best to givr time to each other harem mems(going on date and hanging out not just sex) and most of his relationships are actually just natural. Aside from that his a solid homie and us actually wingmans some other guy friends too.
The Story Story is freaking long, and slow burn fights Don't happened much but interactions are gold, when there's fights though it's actually epic and the power system is mwah frech kiss( I won't spoil this because this is one of the best parts although the different power systems are laid slowly). It has different PoVs and The MC don't just steam roll the problems and it make sense, the characters are very distinct to each other and have their own personalities. This WN have other guys not just the MC and not just MC harem and not everyone falls inlove with the mc. Something funny is that one classmate has his own unwanted harem and Kaito gets a feeling of comraderie( Kaito is not supposed to have a harem at first but the other worlds sense of value and sense of duty leads him to having one). Andy favorite part of the story os unveiling Kaitos past because every new thing we learned about Kaito new questions pops up. The story is also linked to earth which is cool. The PoV changes is one thing I enjoyed to here the PoVs are not meant to show the mcs opness (only sometimes) but to build the world to others eyes or just to show their daily life. The tone can change from a drop of a dime at one time it's fun and all and yhe next time you know theres death. The world itself is intriguing and the history for the 500 years that has beem skip is one of the biggest mystery in the story.
I think that's the point I caan think for now. I love it and the author is releasing regularly theres even a yime that he releases 3 chaps a day. It's a solid story that every isekai lover will love( I think ?)so give it a try.
submitted by minnel567 to Isekai [link] [comments]
https://www.novelupdates.com/series/re-tale-of-a-hero/
https://forums.animesuki.com/showthread.php?t=141085
I don't really post much but I just want to know if someone in this sub already read about this isekai which for me one of the decent ones out there unfortunately it's not much translated.
It's a WN and have more than 2k chapters of main story and 1k+ chapters of sidestory back in earth.
Genre:Isekai,Harem,Fantasy,Scifi,Tragedy?(Flash back),PoV,Mystery
Main plot A whole school is transported to another world with our mc in it. Surprisingly enough all amenities are still working including water, electricity and sewage. People don't just get powers yhough amd yhey need to learn things to survive. The twist is the MC actually already get isekaid in this world , he even brought the former demon lord with him and is disguising as a student(she's his lover and she's not the only one)and is thinking of going back after creating the magic to do so, he thought it's a little bit early but surprised that he is transported back 500 years in the future. He now plans on guiding the whole school to survive in the background while hiding his powers, that mind you he doesn't really mind if discovered but it's easier for him if they don't know much about it( chaos will ensue if they think he can bring them home just because his op)
Characters: You can check the characters here but I'll mainly talk about MC Kaito Amane, the MC, normaly is a chill dude and level headed his your typical normal black haired mc the only difference is his been describe to be handsome instead of the usual loser mc has a circle of friends but is not one of those every body in school knows him type of popular. That is until he stops restricting his magic then he becomes brash and a little bit arrogant but not the douche type arrogant, just the confident one , he also is a battle maniac even if he doesn't want to admit it, and surprisingly this is actually his real personality the reason for him being so calm and collected type or quite type in his suppressed state is because mana is directly link to the psyche and suppressing it also suppresses his emotions or atleast lessen it.
Socially the guy know how to make friends, he hates slavers to his core (because of past experience) and think owning a slave is one of the worst thing a human can do(depending on how the slave state though , he understood that slaves can only survive as slave sometimes). On the Harem aspect of the story the guy is a chad , no rape (there's just that one time when schatach rape him because she's stronger that time), he don't engage sexual activities with minor(his older than he looks but there's a reason why he still go to highschool) and he does his best to givr time to each other harem mems(going on date and hanging out not just sex) and most of his relationships are actually just natural. Aside from that his a solid homie and us actually wingmans some other guy friends too.
The Story Story is freaking long, and slow burn fights Don't happened much but interactions are gold, when there's fights though it's actually epic and the power system is mwah frech kiss( I won't spoil this because this is one of the best parts although the different power systems are laid slowly). It has different PoVs and The MC don't just steam roll the problems and it make sense, the characters are very distinct to each other and have their own personalities. This WN have other guys not just the MC and not just MC harem and not everyone falls inlove with the mc. Something funny is that one classmate has his own unwanted harem and Kaito gets a feeling of comraderie( Kaito is not supposed to have a harem at first but the other worlds sense of value and sense of duty leads him to having one). Andy favorite part of the story os unveiling Kaitos past because every new thing we learned about Kaito new questions pops up. The story is also linked to earth which is cool. The PoV changes is one thing I enjoyed to here the PoVs are not meant to show the mcs opness (only sometimes) but to build the world to others eyes or just to show their daily life. The tone can change from a drop of a dime at one time it's fun and all and yhe next time you know theres death. The world itself is intriguing and the history for the 500 years that has beem skip is one of the biggest mystery in the story.
I think that's the point I caan think for now. I love it and the author is releasing regularly theres even a yime that he releases 3 chaps a day. It's a solid story that every isekai lover will love( I think ?)so give it a try.
2024.05.19 07:00 Stunning_Zucchini932 How the girls react to Katya and Tess' dorm clothes
Fenny: Adjutant, this isn't fair! Why do they get to be creative with their clothes, while we're still wearing old stuff 🤬🤬
Acacia: That's because the designers haven't caught up with the version... (everyone looks puzzledly at her) never mind
Tess: I only wanted something more fitting...
Katya: Funny, I asked for the same thing too. Besides, Adjutant, weren't you the one who suggested the extra designs for... reasons? (wink)
Silence across the hall as everyone looks at the Adjutant
Enya: In that case, Adjutant, it's only fair we get new clothes too... for the "reasons" Katya mentioned, don't you think? (understanding look)
Marian: Adjutant, I'm okay with whatever design you come up with (blush)
Haru: ... just make sure it looks good on us.
Yao: Follow your heart Adjutant, I'm gonna sleep 🥱🥱
Chenxing: Adjutant is designing our clothes! We're counting on you, Adjutant... (blush)
Adjutant: Okay, okay girls... I'll get the designs ready. Lyfe, I suppose you don't need anything fitting since your body temperature is naturally high... (goes quiet after Lyfe glares at him) shouldn't have asked 😅😅 Alright then
Meanwhile...
Eatchel: Professor Fritia, what are the "reasons" Katya said?
Fritia: You'll know when you're older (sigh)
Eatchel: Why don't we ask for new clothes too-
Fritia: Absolutely not.
Siris: I feel like I should pitch in the discussion but forgot what I wanted to say...
submitted by Stunning_Zucchini932 to SnowbreakOfficial [link] [comments]
Acacia: That's because the designers haven't caught up with the version... (everyone looks puzzledly at her) never mind
Tess: I only wanted something more fitting...
Katya: Funny, I asked for the same thing too. Besides, Adjutant, weren't you the one who suggested the extra designs for... reasons? (wink)
Silence across the hall as everyone looks at the Adjutant
Enya: In that case, Adjutant, it's only fair we get new clothes too... for the "reasons" Katya mentioned, don't you think? (understanding look)
Marian: Adjutant, I'm okay with whatever design you come up with (blush)
Haru: ... just make sure it looks good on us.
Yao: Follow your heart Adjutant, I'm gonna sleep 🥱🥱
Chenxing: Adjutant is designing our clothes! We're counting on you, Adjutant... (blush)
Adjutant: Okay, okay girls... I'll get the designs ready. Lyfe, I suppose you don't need anything fitting since your body temperature is naturally high... (goes quiet after Lyfe glares at him) shouldn't have asked 😅😅 Alright then
Eatchel: Professor Fritia, what are the "reasons" Katya said?
Fritia: You'll know when you're older (sigh)
Eatchel: Why don't we ask for new clothes too-
Fritia: Absolutely not.
Siris: I feel like I should pitch in the discussion but forgot what I wanted to say...
2024.05.19 07:00 Busy-Veterinarian896 Sport-L vs Sport Touring Sound System?
I'm in the market for my first car purchase. I've been driving my 2012 Nissan Cube since I was seventeen years old and am going to be getting enough money in the upcoming months to put a heft down payment on a new car. I want to get a CRV hybrid, because I want this car to last me another 10 years before I need to buy one. Hopefully, by the time I need to pay to replace the battery or get a new car, I'll be well enough into my career to have a stable income and a better credit score lol.
Looking at the price of a Sport-L vs a Sport-Touring, it's hard for me to justify NOT getting the touring. It's only a few 1000 more.
For those of you who have driven both or have one of them, how do you feel about the sound system? That's the main thing that is keeping me in the ST camp instead of the Sport-Ls. My current car can't play any music from my phone anymore, so I know I'll be happy regardless, but I just want to know how big of a difference it is, and whether you all think it's worth it.
I'm trying to avoid doing a lot of test-drives. I've driven CRVs in the past because I have friends with them (gas versions though) and I've got bad enough social anxiety that I want to avoid it. I'd rather just test drive once, then get the car and be on my way.
submitted by Busy-Veterinarian896 to crv [link] [comments]
Looking at the price of a Sport-L vs a Sport-Touring, it's hard for me to justify NOT getting the touring. It's only a few 1000 more.
For those of you who have driven both or have one of them, how do you feel about the sound system? That's the main thing that is keeping me in the ST camp instead of the Sport-Ls. My current car can't play any music from my phone anymore, so I know I'll be happy regardless, but I just want to know how big of a difference it is, and whether you all think it's worth it.
I'm trying to avoid doing a lot of test-drives. I've driven CRVs in the past because I have friends with them (gas versions though) and I've got bad enough social anxiety that I want to avoid it. I'd rather just test drive once, then get the car and be on my way.
2024.05.19 07:00 Moochi_The_Mad_Cat Discussion about breaking system......and seeking opinion about putting 2 brake calipers 1 disc?
Prologue :
So let's talk about breaks today. I'm a member of an Indian FS team and we failed the break test in our last competition. There are a few factors we considered why that happened:
Further Investigation :
so after all this i came to a conclusion that we cannot trust our tyres. Doing the calculations after taking highest recommended values for tractive force/contact friction b/w tyres and track (rolling frictional coeffi. of 1.5-6) just to make sure that in any track condition our theory won't fail because of unpredictable tyre behavior.
The domino effect :
with this new assumption we found out that our front wheels will never lock with the current setup of our break system. Now the new problem was to find new calipers that can fulfill our needs. We have been using Vespa KBX break calipers for both front and rear, the specs of these calipers are very similar to the willwoods GP200 calipers at a fraction of the cost. But now we had to look for 4 piston calipers for front (Vespa didn't cause any problem at the rear) and the only options i could find for 10" rims were 4 piston calipers by AP racing and ISR brakes. Both of them had excellent results in calculation but the price tag of both of them were way out of our budget.
and a month back our vehicle had an accident when our driver decided to perform break test, the speed was a little higher than expected, the rear locked successfully but the front didn't and the driver lost control causing the car to spin out and hit a tree.
Yup now it's a critical failure.
A radical idea :
I want to put 2 calipers on each of the front disc and i need as many fresh opinions i can get. If i use 2 Vespa calipers on each front wheel the i get almost same performance i would have gotten from 4 piston ISR or AP calipers, again at a fraction of the cost.
Nothing major will change during the design process i think, and i can't confirm it but i think placing 2 calipers diagonally will lead to even distribution of stresses as compared to using 4 piston but it might have a completely opposite effect cuz in case of 4 piston the disc will have "some" time to cool off before coming in contact with pads and in 2 caliper configuration that'll not be the case. would love to hear your thoughts on this.
some vehicles do use dual caliper configuration but the purpose differs, some manufacturers use 2nd caliper as parking breaks but a few use them for active breaking.
I accept that the brake line might became a mess but that shouldn't cause any issues in the functioning of the brakes.
This seem like the best possible solution given the constraints we have but my team seniors don't support the idea and they can't argue with my logic and that has made me even more confused.
Help me please! I might be missing something and i want your opinion on this. please share your thoughts and lets discuss it.
TLDR:
Front wheels not locking, current 2 piston caliper won't work for the front, 4 piston calipers needed but way over budget, using two of 2 piston calipers give same results as the 4 piston calipers, please share your opinions on why the heck will this not work.
submitted by Moochi_The_Mad_Cat to FSAE [link] [comments]
So let's talk about breaks today. I'm a member of an Indian FS team and we failed the break test in our last competition. There are a few factors we considered why that happened:
- we had little to no knowledge about how Hoosier slick will react to the track and the summer weather.
- Our vehicle was already front heavy and the speed of let's say 40-50kmph during brake test just adds to it.
- like most teams we didn't have tire data so the calculations for the break system didn't hold up in practicality.
Further Investigation :
so after all this i came to a conclusion that we cannot trust our tyres. Doing the calculations after taking highest recommended values for tractive force/contact friction b/w tyres and track (rolling frictional coeffi. of 1.5-6) just to make sure that in any track condition our theory won't fail because of unpredictable tyre behavior.
The domino effect :
with this new assumption we found out that our front wheels will never lock with the current setup of our break system. Now the new problem was to find new calipers that can fulfill our needs. We have been using Vespa KBX break calipers for both front and rear, the specs of these calipers are very similar to the willwoods GP200 calipers at a fraction of the cost. But now we had to look for 4 piston calipers for front (Vespa didn't cause any problem at the rear) and the only options i could find for 10" rims were 4 piston calipers by AP racing and ISR brakes. Both of them had excellent results in calculation but the price tag of both of them were way out of our budget.
and a month back our vehicle had an accident when our driver decided to perform break test, the speed was a little higher than expected, the rear locked successfully but the front didn't and the driver lost control causing the car to spin out and hit a tree.
Yup now it's a critical failure.
A radical idea :
I want to put 2 calipers on each of the front disc and i need as many fresh opinions i can get. If i use 2 Vespa calipers on each front wheel the i get almost same performance i would have gotten from 4 piston ISR or AP calipers, again at a fraction of the cost.
Nothing major will change during the design process i think, and i can't confirm it but i think placing 2 calipers diagonally will lead to even distribution of stresses as compared to using 4 piston but it might have a completely opposite effect cuz in case of 4 piston the disc will have "some" time to cool off before coming in contact with pads and in 2 caliper configuration that'll not be the case. would love to hear your thoughts on this.
some vehicles do use dual caliper configuration but the purpose differs, some manufacturers use 2nd caliper as parking breaks but a few use them for active breaking.
I accept that the brake line might became a mess but that shouldn't cause any issues in the functioning of the brakes.
This seem like the best possible solution given the constraints we have but my team seniors don't support the idea and they can't argue with my logic and that has made me even more confused.
Help me please! I might be missing something and i want your opinion on this. please share your thoughts and lets discuss it.
TLDR:
Front wheels not locking, current 2 piston caliper won't work for the front, 4 piston calipers needed but way over budget, using two of 2 piston calipers give same results as the 4 piston calipers, please share your opinions on why the heck will this not work.