Lamictal withdrawal how long

Topical Steroid Withdrawal

2013.04.06 05:22 sd_red_lobster Topical Steroid Withdrawal

Topical Steroid Withdrawal, taking it one week at a time. Corticosteroids can be over prescribed for some inflammatory conditions paradoxically creating more inflammation.
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2015.08.13 14:46 Maletak Financial Independence Retiring Early UK

This is a subreddit to discuss all things relating to gaining financial independence and retiring early (FIRE) with a focus on the UK.
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2022.03.01 23:02 djpurity666 KratomDependencyHelp

kratom causes tolerance, dependency, and withdrawal when used daily. Does this apply to you? This sub isn't about quitting specifically; it is about dealing with the dependency aspect of kratom. Tolerance breaks? How to avoid dependency? Already dependent and want to lower your dose or even quit? Let's have a place to talk about everything that happens from taking kratom daily for long enough that the brain and body responds by building tolerance, dependency, and withdrawal. Welcome!
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2024.05.19 08:34 TopherLloyd **My 8 Months of Sobriety: Thoughts and Musings**

In my first AA meeting, when it was my turn to speak, I said that I felt my life was a lot like the curse of Sisyphus – forever pushing a boulder up a hill only to slip at the top and, along with the giant stone, roll back to the bottom to start all over again. In my version, each time I slipped and fell, once I got up to start over, the boulder had grown in size, intensifying my labour.
Once the meeting had ended, a person came over and talked to me. “It’s nice to see another lover of the classics here,” they said. I smiled and said, “Oh yeah, haha.” The truth is, I really only know this myth from a friend who is a lover of the classics, and although I relate to the story, I myself will only listen to the enchanting timbre of Stephen Fry’s voice on the topic.
He then went on to tell me that there is a more modern reinterpretation of the story where the curse wasn’t real, but Sisyphus had been tricked into thinking he was eternally damned but could walk away at any time. This really got me thinking about how I had viewed this big stone of mine, this metaphor for everything that fuels my feelings of resentment, stress, anxiety, and depression. Maybe I could just walk away? Now, obviously, I’m not saying people should just walk away from their problems, but it’s our often locked, self-imposed, resentment-fuelled perspective on these problems that causes them to fester and grow. AA is full of “God” and “higher power” talk. I’ve seen people come to a meeting for the first time, hear these words and sigh, deal with the next however long, and never be seen in a meeting again. I don’t blame them. When someone would say to me, “Just put it in the Lord’s hands,” I would always feel disappointed, like it’s just a thing to say to get you to shut up already. What does that mean? Some imaginary force is going to fix my problems? Well, it didn’t take too many meetings to figure out that, no, it doesn’t. What I have come to believe this means is that you’re giving your problems to a higher mode of thinking, the lower mode being this default negative, the world-is-against-me way of looking at things. This lower mode is what brings us to feel the need to numb ourselves because it’s just so overwhelming and hurts emotionally, mentally, and physically – and in come the substances.
I’m going to now share my own reinterpretation of the Myth of Sisyphus, leaving out the whole story about why he was cursed because it doesn’t really apply.
In a timeless realm where punishment and perseverance intertwine, Sisyphus eternally pushes his boulder up a steep hill, only to watch it roll back down each time he nears the summit. This cycle, which he believes to be a divine curse, becomes his singular reality.
As he strains against the weight of his burden, a demon appears on one side, its voice smooth and tempting. It offers Sisyphus a potion, claiming it will ease his pain and make him forget his struggles. Desperate for relief, Sisyphus drinks the potion, and indeed, his pain subsides, his mind grows numb. But each time the boulder rolls back, it returns larger and heavier than before, intensifying his labour.
On the other side of the path, an angel stands silently, offering its hand. Its serene presence contrasts sharply with the demon's boisterous allure. The angel says nothing, its expression calm and patient, a silent invitation to abandon the fruitless task and find peace.
Yet Sisyphus, ensnared by the demon’s persuasive voice, ignores the angel. The demon’s seductive words drown out the silence of the angel, and the potion’s false relief becomes an irresistible escape from his perceived torment.
Unbeknownst to Sisyphus, he is not truly cursed. The gods had tricked him, implanting the belief of a never-ending punishment. The boulder is but an illusion of his own making, a symbol of his acceptance of a lie. The angel’s hand, extended in eternal patience, is the path to his freedom, offering a silent truth: he can walk away at any moment.
But silence is easily overlooked amidst the clamour of temptation. Thus, Sisyphus remains trapped in his self-imposed struggle, pushing the ever-growing boulder, unable to hear the unspoken truth that could set him free.
(Thanks for the re-write, AI)
For most of us, drinking or drugs aren’t really a problem, and that’s great. But unfortunately for some, what started as a fun social partaking from time to time turned into a form of self-medication. It’s a reaction to “I don’t like how I feel.” It’s a very self-involved, short-sighted solution. It’s a selfish act and feeds selfish thinking. Even the aftermath – the hangover – is a continuation of this. It’s so hard to focus or deal with anyone else other than yourself when you’re feeling the withdrawal. Thoughts dwell on fixing the way you feel, and when this is a regular occurrence, even if you no longer suffer as intensely as you once did, those thoughts become one: “When can I have my next drink?” The ultimate cure.
This supposed “cure” is a lie. I call it ‘The Sweet Spot Fallacy’. If I have a few drinks – for me, it was 2-3 generous glasses of whiskey – I’ll reach that sweet spot, and I can finally be at peace. Well, this “sweet spot” only lasts for a moment, and as it starts to fade, the body groans, “I’m losing it, I need more.” So you top up, then whoops, you've had too much, and here comes the slurry mess of “deep, meaningful, and/or epiphonic” (but really just resentment-fuelled dopamine drops of shallow validation) thoughts and conversation. Or what if you can’t top up? Well then, the body and mind continue to groan ever more intensely, and this displays itself in a shit-coloured variety of behaviours in the search for peace and comfort.
I drank because I was filled with resentment. I hated the fact that the world didn’t align for me, and thoughts and memories relating to this made me feel awful, and they wouldn’t stop dropping in to remind me. The irony is that the more these thoughts grew, the more unhinged I became, and the world more unaligned. And the reason those thoughts grew as intense as they did? Alcohol. Alcohol and fatigue.
I’m going to end this with another metaphor that I feel relates to what I have said here, and I’ll leave it to you to figure out why.
“Knowledge is knowing it’s a one-way street. Wisdom is looking both ways regardless.”
Peace and Love.
submitted by TopherLloyd to alcoholicsanonymous [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 07:12 alexinstar Meds and Movement Disorders

Has anyone else had almost every medication they’ve tried cause muscle twitching in various parts of their body?
Or have intolerances to medication and the side effects are bad?
When Im not on any psych med, my muscles in my body don’t twitch. As soon as I start psych meds and continue taking them, my muscles twitch. The twitching is similar to as if I just did a full body workout out, but I haven’t.
It seems every drug I try, causes EPS/a movement disorder. Latuda caused my eyelids to twitch and facial tics. Serequel caused muscle twitching throughout my body.
Caplyta makes me physically ill and have flu like side effects that don’t go away. Im currently on the lowest dose (dropping from 42mg, to 21mg, to 10.5mg), and it still makes me feel shitty and isn’t even therapeutic anymore.
Lithium really messes with my thyroid and landed me in the ER.
Mood stabilizers for me don’t work because of the birth control interaction. I have endometriosis, and without birth control, I am constantly in debilitating pain. I don’t want to get an IUD because of how incredibly painful and traumatic it is to get one inserted, and the side effects. To be fair, my current oral contraceptive amps up my depression a lot and has side effects. But I can’t mentally handle being in excruciating pain all the time and not able to move. I also can’t mentally handle this depression either. Having to decide which to deal with — being in debilitating pain and be on a mood stabilizer to help my mental health or have a very bad mental state and not be in physical pain is a truly shitty decision to have to make as a woman. There is no winning if you’re a woman. (I do want to state that being in excruciating pain all the time DOES NOT help my mental health, regardless if Im on a med or not)
I’ve already tried Lamictal, while being on birth control. Lamictal made the BC ineffective and made my hormones not be stable and go up and down everyday, and I was in hell. And the BC made the Lamictal not effective.
Depakote is the only mood stabilizer that doesn’t affect birth control, even though birth control makes depakote less effective. Depakote makes my arm muscles twitch, and makes my leg muscles twitch more than they do now. It’s only 250mg of depakote too, so not therapeutic. I did run a lil experiment. I stopped the depakote for a week to see if some of my muscle twitching subsided.. and it did. My arm muscles no longer twitch. My leg muscles still do and it drives me INSANE.
I just.. I don’t get why my body is like this. There was a point when I was on 200mg Lamictal, 60mg Latuda, and 100mg of Serequel and the muscle twitching was so bad. My whole entire body was constantly spasming and moving.
Prior to July, I tolerated psych meds really well! Until a psychiatrist (who can rot in hell), cold turkey cut me off of a very high dose of klonopin. I went through a 2 month withdrawal and couldn’t get water or food down for at least a month and lost 30 pounds in 3 weeks. My body has never been the same again, and I now have severe GI issues because of the trauma my stomach went through during withdrawals.
After being cut cold turkey off of benzos.. my body and brain do not tolerate psych medications at all. experience EVERY side effect and they don’t go away, on top of movement disorders.
Im desperate for a medication to work and Im hopeless currently. Everything that seems to help me somewhat mentally, makes my muscles twitch and jerk!
I don’t know what to do and how long I can last with my current mental health! I don’t know if anyone would have advice or have gone through similar things? Has anyone else experienced numerous psych meds causing movement disorders?
submitted by alexinstar to bipolar2 [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 05:51 TeamNew8607 Euphoria Season 3, My Way

This thread is about to be very long, and I will be adding to it frequently, but this is how I would write season 3 of Euphoria since Sam is obviously preoccupied with god knows what. This came to me in a dream so call it fate ig.
Background- since season 2 ends with the card that Rue stayed sober through the rest of junior year, and Lexi’s play takes place in the spring, I thought it’d be best to pick up on the first day of their senior year in the fall. This means that Cassie, Maddie, and Nate have all graduated, leaving us with Rue, Jules, Lexi, Elliot, Bobbi, Ethan, BB & Kat. Also Gia, the Parents, and Ali. Anyways here goes.
Episode 1- I Stayed Sober (Mostly)
[Scene 1]: The Last First Day Episode One opens with a black screen that has flashes of red and blue, like police sirens, that increasingly become more intense and vibrant, to indicate Rue coming out of a dissociative state. She narrates over the screen:
“You want to know the worst part about staying sober? It’s not the withdrawals or the cravings, even though they’re pretty fucking bad. It’s not even the depression or the emptiness you feel without your poisonous security blanket protecting you from your worst thoughts and emotions. The worst part about staying sober, is that you’re trapped back in the fucked up world that made you want to do drugs in the first place”
The red and blue screen shifts to police sirens with cops yelling in an attempt to evacuate everyone from the school. It’s raining and the sky is gray and muddy. All the students are now wearing muted uniforms in the school colors, blue black and white (the uniforms are explained later) The scene looks very muted and drained. As the students flood out of the school in a frenzy, we see Rue and Lexi standing at the exit, uninterested in the theatrics and significantly changed from last season.
Rue has a brighter disposition to herself, appearing more soft and bright, while keeping her moody demeanor. Her look shows that she is trying her best to be more optimistic, despite going through hell from her plethora of mental illness that have now taken over due to her sobriety. Still, she looks healthier and brighter.
Lexi, on the other hand, has a more goth like appearance. In addition to her new dark black hair with red colored streaks (red to signify her stepping into her power) she also looks less approachable with more gothic motifs such as skulls and roses on her increased accessories. We learn later that this is an attempt to reinvent herself after last year’s play incident and fez dying. She seems uninterested and annoyed, but has a more confident air after being put in the spotlight and no longer having to live under her sisters shadow. She has become more monotone, speaking her mind and embracing her realistic perspective of life.
They begin walking to the parking lot, looking for Lexi’s mom among the waves of chaotic students pushing past them.
Rue: Of course, just our fucking luck that someone decides to shoot up the school our first day of senior year.
Lexi: It wasn’t even a real shooting. I heard some kid brought a gun to show off and got tackled by his teacher. Everyone started freaking out, and now I’m missing the first day of my AP English class.
Rue: Not like you need it. I think you proved that you can write a good story that makes waves and changes lives (sarcasm)
Lexi: 😐 that’s not funny Rue. That play is all anyone could talk about all summer. Everyone hates me because they think it’s my fault that we all have to wear these stupid uniforms.
Rue: actually that was Cassie’s fault, that fight got a new edit every week. My favorite was the #mollywhop dance (starts doing a dance that is significant of Maddie slapping Cassie and Cassie riding a carousel)
Lexi: Rue I’m serious. I got so sick of living in the background that I put my entire life on display in front of all of East Highland just for my sister to make everything about her.
Rue: Well good writing is supposed to be controversial. And take it as a victory, at least you’re not a nobody anymore.
Random Guy: Hey Lexi, I got a horse you can ride (does the dance)
Cop: Keep it moving sir!
They get to the end of the parking lot and sit on the pavement.
Lexi: 🙄of course she’s late.
Rue: hey, it’s a new year. You’re no longer the girl whose sister was the hottest cheerleader in school and I’m no longer the resident drug addict that everyone is waiting to die.
Lexi: you’re right. That’s Elliot. Or Jules. Have you checked on either of them since his overdose?
Rue: no…fuck them both. They seem happy in their stupid relationship with their stupid anniversary posts. I had to block them both before I killed myself or worse. They can die for all I care.
Lexi: well he almost did. I heard he had a stroke and is in a wheelchair until he learns how to walk again.
Rue: trying to hide that she’s concerned really?…i mean i don’t care, but that’s what he deserves right? Can’t do drugs that carelessly without consequences. Ask me how I know.
Lexi: I don’t think anyone deserves to OD. I hope he gets some help.
Rue: he has help, that bitch is playing housewife which she probably loves. Attention seeking whore. You know I’m sick of talking about Jules and Elliot and Cassie and every other narcissist with a victim complex that keeps trying to make themselves the main character. pulls her closer with a shoulder hug this year it’s about us. Starting over and getting a chance to finally make it out of this stupid town. You have colleges lined up at the door and I’ve been sober for almost a year. No one is going to take this year from us. That why you blocked Cassie, and that’s why I had any memory of Jules permanently erased from my brain. Out of sight out of mind.
Lexi: I guess you’re right. New year, new us.
Rue: alright. Now call your mom so we can get out of the rain. I hate cops more than I hate being fully clothed and wet.
Lexi: (finally smiling) almost as much as they hate you
Rue: hey fuck you, I still have to go to court for that.
Lexi: too soon? 🤭
Rue: just dial the fucking phone
Rue [vo while it shows Suze driving up and the girls walking across the parking lot]: Despite how terrible last year was, I feel like Lexi and I finally got back to how things used to be. Before the drugs, before the funerals. Just Rue and Lexi like it’s always been. Sometimes I forget how great life was when I was just a kid. But drugs tend to take away everything that makes life, life. I just wish Fezco had stayed alive long enough to finally see me sober. Then maybe Lexi wouldn’t be so serious and emo these days. But she took care of me, and now it’s my turn. I just don’t know what’s worse, losing the love of your life before you get a chance to say it love you (shot of Lexi rubbing a cross chain fez gave her looking at the sky before getting in the car) or thinking you found the love of your life just to end up as strangers. (As Rue opens the door to get in, she sees Jules wheeling Elliot across the parking lot. She stares for a bit before getting in the car.) Either way, we all died. (Rue gets in the car before Jules can see her.)
Jules looks over at the car but doesn’t see anyone. She looks distraught, hoping to catch a glimpse of Rue, who she hasn’t seen since the play. She’s dressed in a mostly black school girl uniform with a short skirt and corset that she’s clad in neon accessories and coquettish garters and bows. Her hair is longer than in season 2 but shorter than season 1. This is to signify that she’s embracing her femininity more with Elliot, but is stepping into a more powerful, dominant version of femininity. She’s content with her relationship, and rebuilding herself after the abuse she endured in relationship with rue. Now she’s just worried about repeating the same story with Elliot. She looks off into the distance, paused in a state of reflection.
Elliot: babe are you good? Jules: what? Yea just thought I saw something. (Continues wheeling him across the parking lot) Elliot: It was probably a ghost. HEY CASPER, LOOK BUT DONT TOUCH HOMIE Jules: (laughing) you’re so unserious Elliot: what do you mean? I’m serious. I don’t want his ectoplasm fucking up your makeup. Jules: You’re the one who keeps fucking up my makeup Elliot: and I’ll do it again kisses her winces ow fuck Jules: relax dude. You know the doctor said you can’t stretch your spine much after your stroke. Elliot: and you know I told that doctor nothing can kill me and I’m basically a god Jules: even when you’re sick you’re still crazy Elliot: crazy for you Jules: yea yea, just be happy it was a stroke and not a death sentence. whispers in his you know if you would’ve died I would have to kill you. Elliot: besides the fact that that makes zero sense, you know it wasn’t my fault Jules: I’m just glad that Laurie lady got put behind bars. Who the fuck puts fentanyl in Weed? Elliot: a plug who can’t find enough junkies to buy their fentanyl. That’s why I always sniff my weed before I smoke it. Jules: and that sniff put you in a wheelchair, so who’s god now? Elliot: mmmm, still me. I live close enough to the school that I don’t have to pay for a van, and I have a hot chick with a huge dick as a nurse. Not to mention loads of settlement money from suing the biggest plug in our area and a med card with all the unlaced weed I can smoke. I’m up as fuck. Jules: or too high to be traumatized Elliot: And (dances her around his chair like a waltz until she falls in his lap) my dick still works. Jules: nice try Romeo, but your ego is showing (zips up his pants and continues pushing) Elliot: fuck, has it been like that all day? That’s embarrassing Jules: no more embarrassing than the whole school thinking you’re in a wheelchair because you couldn’t hold your oxys Elliot: it was Percs actually, thank you very much. And fuck what those bots think, I’ve been sober since that intervention. I guess you can say Rue knocked some sense into Me. Jules: (avoiding the topic of rue) did you see the comments on our last post, they called us percinstein and the coke bride Elliot: damn I guess they did know it was Percs (Now on his front porch)
Jules: (standing in front of him looking in his eyes with sentiment ) Elliot I’m serious. I’ve been the topic of conversation ever since I moved to this fucking town. I just want to have a normal year for once in my complicated life. Elliot: babe listen it’s high school. Everything is the topic of conversation and no one is normal. People talk shit because they’re bored and have no personality or sense of self outside of the useless drama they can create in their minds. But you have a life, and a future. You have an amazing, sober boyfriend who loves you and a portfolio that can get you into any art school in the world. You’re at the last step before your real life begins. I’m just happy that I have the privilege to watch. And you know I like to watch. Jules: you’re a lunatic. Elliot: I love you. Jules: I love you too. kiss
Elliot: Are you sure you can’t stay tonight Jules: I wish, but my dad is serious about making sure I get into the best school, which means spending hours look at boring virtual tours and applying early admission. Elliot: ok well I’ll be here figuring out how to pee without standing up Jules: how do our conversations always center back to your dick Elliot: I can’t talk about anything else, it’s too hard Jules: wow, you sound like my dad and I’m turned off [starts walking away] Elliot: it’s not me it’s the weed. now you make sure you make it home safe. There’s a shooter on the loose. Jules: [grabbing her bike] the gun wasn’t even loaded. besides, getting shot would not be the worst thing to happen to me. Elliot: you’re American. It always gets worse. Jules: [riding off] that’s depressing Elliot: text me when you’re home Jules: [almost gone] you have my location! Elliot: [to himself] and I still never know where you are
submitted by TeamNew8607 to euphoria [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 05:45 astralpariah Video: Mad In America Town Hall - Supporting Extreme States, Dissociation & Experiences Labeled as Psychosis

MIA Town Hall - Supporting Extreme States, Dissociation & Experiences Labeled as Psychosis
Mad in America presents Part II of a special panel discussion on understanding and supporting those experiencing extreme states, dissociation, and experiences labeled as psychosis. We’ll take a deeper dive into how engaging and validating these states can serve as a supportive tool for healing. We’ll provide concrete examples of possible approaches and demonstrate that recovery, even in people labeled as “incurable,” is possible in various forms. Our expert panel includes survivors, family members, and therapists. Extensive resources will be shared, and the discussion will conclude with an open audience Q&A.
About the Guest Speakers
Cindy Marty Hadge is a person who experienced physical, emotional, sexual, and medical trauma as a child. She experienced voices, vision, and thoughts of ending her life growing up as well. As a young adult she turned to alcohol and street drugs in an effort to make life livable. Over time she entered the mental health system, where the street drugs were replaced with prescribed drugs and the result was frequently the same – walking or stumbling through life in a mind-numbing state while continuing to experience voices, visions, and thoughts of ending her life.
Knowing that peer support in the form of 12 Step programs had been helpful while struggling with substance use, she sought out peer support for her emotional distress and experience of extreme states. Cindy discovered that she lived within walking distance of one of the Wildflower Alliance spaces, where one of the very few Hearing Voices Network groups in the US was held. Within this community she found healing and hope. By attending HVN groups she discovered that there were things she could do beyond taking medication to navigate her experience.
Cindy has found the meaning, purpose, and connection that she longed for and has made a way of making sense of the senseless. She is transforming her tragedies into treasures by being healed when creating space for others to heal. Cindy has been recognized by Inter-Voice, the international organization of HVN, for her work as an educator. Cindy is gender non-conforming and has presented both as Cindy and Marty. Cindy is a keynote speaker and a national trainer.
Olga Runciman is the only psychologist in private practice in Denmark to specialize in extreme states (psychosis). She is an international trainer and speaker, writer, campaigner, and artist. She is a co-founder of the Danish Hearing Voices Network and the International Institute for Psychiatric Drug Withdrawal. She is a board member for a variety of organizations including Intervoice, Mad in America, The Danish Psychosocial Rehabilitation organization, and others. She has taken the three-year Finnish Open Dialogue education in London and works today as a dialogical family therapist and trainer.
For many years prior to her current career, Olga worked as a nurse in neurology and psychiatry. She also knows psychiatry from the inside, having been a patient herself. She was told she was an incurable case. Today she is in the unique position of creating a bridge between patient and professional.
Sam Ruck earned his B.A. in a Christian ministry-related field but set that dream aside when his wife began to display symptoms related to her childhood trauma early in their 35-year marriage. Together, for the past 16 years, they have learned to navigate extreme states and extreme dissociative issues, while embracing her seven “alter” identities in their relationship and family. Sam learned to become the companion his wife needed on their mutual healing journey, using strategies drawn from attachment theories and other pragmatic approaches.
Today, Sam and his wife struggle together, like many others, amidst the upheaval of culture wars and post his cancer diagnosis in 2023. They are still dealing with the remnants of her trauma and dissociation. Though his wife chooses to remain anonymous, she supports Sam sharing their learnings with significant others, family members, and anyone who is interested in a better way to engage someone experiencing mental distress. Please note that for privacy, Sam Ruck is using a pen name.
Sam blogged about their journey for a number of years later, summarizing the experience in a short book offered for free here. Excerpts have been published on MIA.
submitted by astralpariah to HearingVoicesNetwork [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 04:25 Awkward-Cow1869 AITAH if I go NC with my mom and sister?

Sorry about format, as I'm on mobile. I'd get some snacks and a drink, cause this is gonna be a decent sized one. This is pretty much about my entire life. Also, I have mental health and sometimes add too many details to things. I kinda over share, so apologise if that happens. Me(F) my mom(F) sister(F)
My entire life, I have felt less than when it comes to my mom. It's pretty obvious my sister is the favorite child. Ever since she was born, I was put on a back burner. Then my brother was born, and it got even worse. (My brother is an amazing man, so I don't fault him for anything at all. He's pretty much my unofficial child. I will die for him.) When I was 3, my bio dad died. I did get checks every month for survivors checks, but when I turned 18, I never saw any of it. I understand that she needed it for me while I was a minor, but once I turned 18, it was supposed to actually go to me. I was still in my last year of high school, so it didn't stop til I graduated. If I would have gotten those checks, I would be way farther in life. My mom got with my siblings dad when I was around 4 or 5. That's where the abuse came in. She got pregnant with my sister, and pretty much made me the clown. My sister's dad was a Dr*g addict, and would go on binges, leaving me home alone to watch my siblings, while Mom was at work. I was 6 at this point. Granted, she did call the police and he got charged with 3 counts of child endangerment. (My brother was born at this point). Then, she stayed with him, even though he left us like that. When I was 9 was when I found out about my dad. She wasn't even going to tell me about him, but she had to, cause my grandma filed for grandparents rights. Mom didn't even tell me. Siblings dad is the one to sit me down. That's when my mental health started to really show. I was 9 and finding out the man that I called dad, wasn't actually my dad, and my real dad is never meet cause he's dead. My soul broke that day. Fast forward a few months and I get a puppy for my birthday. It pooped in the house, and G(siblings dad) was so irate, he left the puppy outside in the middle of the night, during the winter... He killed my dog. It was maybe 15° F that night. I woke up the next morning to mom telling me the dog ate paint off the wall ... She did, but the bite marks were there from a week prior. I was 9, not stupid. I saw through her lies. Fast forward again. They end up separating. He had gotten upset, then kidnapped my siblings taking them to a completely different state. He finally came back, and was in jail for 6 months. After he got out .. she got back with him. The final straw happened a few years later. When I was probably 8-10 can't remember exactly how old, I was having issues with my math homework. I have major dyslexia with numbers(can't remember the actual name) and math was my worst subject because of that. I was frustrated cause I just couldn't understand the math homework, so I crumpled the paper. (I was a kid. I know I shouldn't have done it, but I did.) She got up, and started to hit me. She was smacking my arms, and had me pinned down to the couch. I turned my head and she hit my nose hard enough for it to gush blood. (Granted I could flick my nose and it'd bleed, but I digress). Then, I had "played" with a belt with her and G, and one of them(can't remember who) was hitting me with another one. I didn't understand at the time, but we was all smacking each other with belts, tryna hit the others the hardest. (My lord I just realized how bad that actually was.) I went to school the next day, and had a few welts on my arms. Went to the nurse for some ice, and got asked who did it. I explained what happened, and cps got called. I didn't know, but I got home and got screamed at by G. He was in my face, so close I could smell his breath and feel his spittle hitting my face. Then my mom said it wasn't them, but my sister who scratched me. (It wasn't a scratch. It was a welt clearly from a belt.) There's probably more, but my brain made me forget to protect my sanity. Fast forward, she is finally away from him. Then she gets with my now step dad. I was 12 at the time. He was an okay guy. He has 5 kids. Well, of course I was the built in babysitter. I am the oldest out of all 8 of us kids. I wasn't allowed to hang out with friends as much as I should have been growing up, cause I was always the one to be the second parent to them. That's when my mental health started to get severe. I started self harming at 13. It would get so bad. Nothing of significance really happened between then til I was 16. (That I can remember. Thanks brain for protecting me.) I get into highschool. Freshman year. I'm finally able to start hanging out with friends more often. I end up having sex(I was coerced, wanted to wait til I was on bc, but I finally gave in. Shouldn't have, but it's whatever. I'm over it now.) Wasn't on birth control and didn't wear a condom. Had a scare I may have been pregnant. Mom finds out, gets a test and takes me to my grandma's to take it. She berates me in front of my grandparent and my aunt and cousins. Thankfully it was negative. Fast forward to when I was 16. Got my first job. Finally I'm old enough to make my own money. Well, I can't even spend my checks the way I wanted to. Majority of them went to her. I gave her prob 85 percent of my checks. I wanted to save for a car. Couldn't. (Not that it mattered. Didn't get my license til I was 23... I'm 27 now.) Kept getting my temps, only to never practice. Yet, when my sister is 18, she takes her out to drive and helps her get her license. But, whatever. Finally I graduate, and all I get is a gift card(I'm thankful of course. I'm not stingy, I just have envy from all the things my sister got, that I didn't.) Sister got a full blown party. Every single person I have been romantically with, she would put in my head that they aren't good enough. So much so, I thought I would never be with someone who genuinely loved me. (I have that now, so shout out to my amazing fiance.) I'm still cutting on a daily basis at this point. Cut from the ages of 12 to 20. I'd still be, if I wasn't with my fiance. (I was didn't sewer slide myself and actually did it right this time, anyway. Tried 5 times. Thankfully I failed each time.) I have bipolar disorder, anxiety, depression and ADHD. Not once did she take me to get health. She always dismissed me when I would try and talk to her about it, so I just kept to myself. It took my fiance's mom to take me and get me the help I needed. I barely graduated cause I just didn't care in 9th and 10th grade. I felt like I wasn't going to live past high school anyway, so why should I care? 11th grade comes up and working had actually given me motivation to keep going. (Plus I started smoking the devil's lettuce, so I was feeling better mentally.) Turn 18 and I move out. Ended up losing my job I had then, and go down a spiral. I got addicted to alcohol and pills for a couple of weeks. Not enough for withdrawals, but it was still bad. Thankfully I woke up one day and realized what I was doing. (I'll give her this, I called and she immediately came to get me so I could get out of that situation.) Fast forward more, I move out again, but just down the street. I'm now 19 and start dating my now fiance. We have been together 8 years and I barely talk to her anymore. Esp this past year. I don't really message her first anymore. I've gone 6 or more months without talking to her. Shoot, without talking to anyone in my family. Fiance's parents get me the mental health I needed. Get diagnosed with depression, anxiety and bipolar disorder. I've told Mom I have bipolar since I was 16 and she just dismissed me, saying it's my hormones. (Jokes on her) About 4 years in, she starts telling me I need to find someone else to be with. He isn't good enough for me. (Yeah, like the rest weren't. No one is good enough for her.) It gets to the point I had to tell her and my sister both to stop, or I was gonna cut them out of my life completely. (Should have, looking back, but we learn.) They stop for a while. Sister is now showing her true colors. She's a narcissist and gaslighter, just like her father. She cannot own up to her mistakes, what so ever. She gets into an accident, not her fault. She gets into a fight she started, not her fault. Can't hold down a job, not yet fault. (I've had trouble holding down a job as well, but I'm getting better. I finally got diagnosed with ADHD and am in meds, so I'm not feeling impulsive as bad. Id switch jobs pretty frequently, due to the better sounding one. It's still affecting me to this day, but I'm seeing a change in my mind. Just gotta push through a bit more. Not blaming it on my ADHD, but the disease doesn't make it easier.) Mom has gotten sister a job with her at every single job she's had the past 4 years. Sister ruins it for mom, cause sister can't stand mom not paying attention to her, or doing everything for sister. Sister has bad anxiety, and uses it as an excuse to keep mom working. Sister wants all the pay of being a manager, without actually doing the manager duties. Sister always tells me I need to dress better. Says i "need to look more presentable and not like a slob". I wear skinny jeans and a Tshirt usually. Frequently, I'll wear sweats if I'm just going to moms and not going out. I like being comfy. Constantly criticizing me for every single thing I do. Finally mom says she realizes how bad she has treated me throughout my life. I forgave her a long time ago. Gets to the point mom says she wouldn't have anything to do with sister, if she wasn't her kid. Thought things were gonna change. Clearly not. Mom and sister both get another new job, the same job. Again. It's like nothing has changed since that conversation. Still barely talk to her, and everything. Last time I hung out with them, it was for only 3 hours. THREE HOURS. yet, I had anxiety and panic attacks from that small amount of time, for the next 3 days... I can't do this anymore, but I feel SO freaking guilty for even considering this. I love my mom and sister. I want them in my life, but I can't keep feeling like this. My mental health is always needing to be restarted after being around them. It's like I go back to that 12 year old me and want to self harm all over again. I'm now almost 10 years clean from it. There is no longer any scars, and I'm happier now. I just can't help but to feel I should just suck it up and "get over it". I know this is rediculously long, so if you've read this far, thank you. I just need some other people's perspective that isn't biased and I feel you guys are the best chance for that. I'm really struggling on what to do and feel so guilty for even typing this stuff out. My worst fear is disappointing her, yet I do every day. I also really hate confrontation. I'll do whatever it takes to avoid it, but I just can't anymore. I've always wondered how life would be if my dad was alive. I don't remember him, but I can still say I miss him. I miss the opportunities that I didn't get growing up.
Thank you guys. I'll take whatever you guys throw at me. I just want to see if my feelings are valid or not. This is literally causing me pain. I need help.
submitted by Awkward-Cow1869 to AITAH [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 03:55 DocBasher Feeling defeated and hopeful

I don’t really know where the story of my alcoholism begins, though I only admitted I was an alcoholic about one month ago, and as of the time I’m writing this, I’ve only been sober for about 30 hours.
I never remember drinking in any meaningful capacity until I enlisted into the Marine Corps at 18, directly following high school. I’d rather not go into much detail about my service, but I remember many times partying with fellow Marines on the weekends or on leave and getting absolutely shitfaced, but it was never a regular occurrence, and I never drove drunk, got caught by my superiors, or ever really thought about anything other than the horrible hangovers I would get.
After getting medically retired, and moving back home, this is where I believe it slowly began. I started processing the unaddressed traumas of not only military service, but as I reconnected with family for the first real time in adulthood, I began to realize how my family had adversely affected my formative years, and how the mental, verbal, and sometimes physical abuse began to come up to the surface of my daily reality.
But even still, I was a cigarette smoker and would very seldom do things like smoke weed. Drank socially and rarely to excess.
Between 2012-2014, I believe, is where things began to start escalating, though still slowly. I had a horrible relationship end horribly. Got fired from my first job. Had to drop out of school. I was quickly going broke (due to said lost job). I got fortunate in mid 2014 to land a cool healthcare job. I worked nights. I began to notice I would come home every morning and drink 2-3 VERY stout martinis. And it got worse on my off days. That is until I discovered bourbon.
I loved everything about it. The history. The process of making it. The diversity. The taste. I found myself going out more and more to bars, distilleries, etc. Buying, collecting, building a network of friends who also enjoyed bourbon. Talking about bourbon to fellow coworkers.
In 2017, following multiple break-ups/get back togethers with my girlfriend at the time, I found out she was pregnant, and I had just started working for a very busy EMS system while also in school. The relationship was not stable, and shortly thereafter, I had the final falling out with my family after their despicable behavior in the final months of pregnancy and when my girlfriend delivered my beautiful daughter.
Due to an absolute shit work schedule (24 hour shifts), a hectic school schedule (typically 2 school days and at least two clinical days), an unstable relationship, and new parenthood, I believe this to be the turning point. I remember not wanting to come home. I remember wanting, needing to drink. I remember my anxiety and depression beginning to unfold rapidly. But somehow, it still never reached a critical mass. When my daughter was 3 months old, I broke off the relationship, we moved to our own places, and decided to coparent.
As time moved forward, I began collecting and consuming more bourbon. At first, I was very good about not drinking much or anything at all on my days with my kid. I started working a lot of overtime, sometimes working 2.5 shifts (60 hours) straight, because money I guess. But this added stress on my body and mind and the constant exposure to the ugliest of illness and injury, trauma and despair drove my need to drink, my anxiety and my depression even further.
I began driving tipsy. Getting in stupid arguments with my next partner and leaving to go on a bourbon “hunt.” I began working more because I was spending insane amounts of money on allocated bourbons. And I would be surprised and somehow prideful that I’d put down a half bottle of rare, high proof bourbon the night before, but ignoring the fact I couldn’t remember shit about that night until my partner reminded me of how much of an asshole I’d been.
That relationship eventually ended. In truth we weren’t good for each other for many reasons on both sides, but on my side, my drinking got way out of hand. I drove tipsy or drunk regularly. We got in an argument one time downtown and I left her there because she didn’t want to be in the car of a drunk driver. My drinking, among other things, caused me to become emotionally abusive and an emotional roller coaster.
After it ended, I found a new version of myself after a long period of severe depression and anxiety and got back in to many of the passions I’d neglected for years. But I still drank. Heavily.
I left EMS to work in the ER for better hours, pay, more professional support, etc. It was a godsend. Or so I thought.
Then I met my new partner, my current one. We’ve been together for over 3 years. We both struggle with depression and anxiety. But I’m the only one who still struggles with alcoholism. And as it has gotten worse as each new relationship begins and ends, I’ve found that in this one it’s reached the absolute critical mass.
I’ve gotten so drunk that I had a massive panic attack and held a gun to my head. Thankfully my former best friends were also there to talk me down (I say former because I recently had a bender where I kicked them out of my life).
I’ve gotten so drunk that I’ve continued to drive drunk, and that has resulted in my flattening a tire on my car, and backing into a parked care at a Mexican restaurant. The latter generated a county sheriffs deputy to come out for a police report and I somehow did not get a DUI.
But I continued.
Countless drunken fights. Countless times of us fighting and me kicking her out of my house, for her to drive 35 mins back to her house and for us not to talk for a few days.
And then the past month.
I drank so much over a few days that I was suicidal, so much so that my partner couldn’t get through to me, it turned mildly physical (from what she said, me grabbing her arm, which I’d never in my life done before), and ended up leaving my house and calling crisis, and because I was also making threats and am a gun owner, it generated a SWAT response in my neighborhood. Somehow SOMEHOW, I was never pulled out of my house and taken to get committed.
I stopped drinking entirely after that. Went through moderate alcohol withdrawal for three days. And then started drinking again after six days following a very mild disagreement with my partner that set off my anxiety. And, me being the idiot I am, didn’t realize that drinking would make it worse.
I managed to not drink liquor for roughly two weeks following that argument, but drank beer instead. Never really got drunk or even tipsy, but was still drinking. I was “cutting back.”
Then this past Monday, another bender lasting 48 hours. Back in the bourbon. Started by a mild argument that escalated, and quite frankly almost ended us due to a breach of trust (I was at fault). She needed to take a day to process and I got pissed and went out and bought $130 worth of bourbon and finished a 1.75 liter bottle of 101 proof bourbon in 24 hours. She came over, we fought, she left. She came back over, we fought, tried to leave and I physically wouldn’t let her, she left, she came back.
I ended up stopping, but not until I began having quite literally the worst pain, located in my lower abdomen, that I’ve ever experienced in my life. She forced me to go to the ER we both work at. I wasn’t acting drunk, but people, my coworkers knew. I wasn’t admitted because my abdominopelvic workup was negative. But at least now I understand why people get addicted to opiates. And after the truckload of IV Dilaudid (hydromorphone) I received, and the horrible constipation that has followed, I don’t ever want any of that shit again.
And now, today, I don’t ever want alcohol again.
I’m so tired of not remembering. Of having intimate moments with my partner and not remembering them. Of missing sunrises because I can’t get up before 2 pm. Of being fooled that I’m drinking to cure my anxiety and depression when, in fact, it makes it so much worse. I’m 35…I don’t want dementia when I’m 50 because I’ve damaged my brain so much. I’m tired of the person that alcohol makes me.
I had myself convinced for so long that I was a happy drunk, a fun drunk. And maybe I was in the past. But I was still an alcoholic. And while I may always be, I don’t have to be addicted to it anymore.
I have a long road ahead, and I hope to not fall down again. I realize I may, due to the stressors of life and parenthood and relationships and my job. But I can choose to not stop at the liquor store before I go in to work tonight so I can drink tomorrow morning after my ER shift. I can choose to not drink when my partner and I go out to eat Monday evening for our weekly Mexican food. I can choose each day to be sober.
And I’m gonna try.
—-If you read this entire post (long I know) I hope you realize the two things I’ve realized in my very brief period of not drinking:
That, one, alcoholism is such an insidious, sneaky evildoer that tricks you into believing you’re not guilty while also tricking you into using it to calm your depression and anxiety, even though it exacerbates them. It shifts the blame and convinces you that it isn’t the problem, much like a partner or employer might gaslight you.
And, two, that me telling my partner I’m an alcoholic and trying every day to stay clean, while only being in the second day has been simultaneously the most defeating and hopeful feeling I’ve felt in a very long time.
My second day. I hope for many more.
submitted by DocBasher to stopdrinking [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 03:42 thelostcauz These 🤬 CUSTOMERS

Today was soooooo FUCKING annoying. I had the most naggy clients today. Let me preface this by saying I am not a manager and any time I feel a customer about to complain I call my CEL over. I do not get paid enough to handle bitching from clients.
First one client starts complaining to me about how my store never has popular items in stock and how it’s a problem….. like…. They’re popular items of course they aren’t in stock. There’s brands that are having supply chain issues that Sephora has no control over. Like I’m sorry about this first world problem you’re having WTF AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? I asked the client if she wanted me to call a manager over… she proceeds to ask me for what? 🤦🏾‍♀️🫠 I’m just like well I’m a little ol sales associate. I don’t have any control but the managers have a better chance of making a difference than me. She’s like well… you can tell the managers for me. Okay sure…. I’m not so GTFO my face tf.
Next client starts bitching about how she needed help and a BA that was with a client told her one moment. But she didn’t specify how long. The client found help but clearly wanted to vent about us being short staffed. Cool fine. I can deal with that and as I ring her out I’m telling her to leave a survey. She keeps fucking yapping (she comes in all the time and is a talker, I feel like she lives alone or something) as I see two clients just staring me down as I talk to her. Mid conversation with this client I call my coworker to help the two clients staring at me. The original client I guess got pissed and just walked away from me…. LIKE BITCH I’m sorry we’re short staffed and you’re talking my ear off when there’s other ppl that need help.
Like… today wasn’t bad in terms of the volume but the entitled ass clients?!? On another level.
Thank GOD for my lamictal.
Sorry I just needed to let this off.
submitted by thelostcauz to SephoraWorkers [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 03:23 GhostDragon362 Life, Death, and The Air.

<>
/uw hi! this is my first (and probably not only?) lorepost as Monarch! this is mainly gonna be written in the third person, so out of character, and with bits of dialogue. enjoy! /rw
Monarch was born into royalty. The royal family of Cascadia, to be exact. His mother and father were kind people, and harsh but fair rulers. Together, they ruled over all of Cascadia, commanding armies, ruling their people, and taking care of Monarch, their only son. For 17 years, all was peaceful.
Until the Federation, a global superpower, began using Cascadian resources to wage war on their enemies. The rulers didn't like this, so they attempted to withdraw from the Federation, rescinding their membership. And when the people heard of this....
Suddenly, Monarch, a young adult, still technically a child, was escorted from the castle, the place he had been all his life, to go to an unknown, secure place. As he was rushed from the castle, an explosion went off behind as planes had begun to fly overhead. One message was clear; The monarchy was dead. A civil war had begun.
Monarch was thrust into a world he knew nothing about: a war he knew nothing about. So he ran. Ran like hell, until the world stopped spinning and he was away from the chaos. He ran from the people meant to protect him, trusting nobody. All he knew was that he was in danger, his parents were dead; and he. wanted. vengance.
The war waged on for several years, but only quietly. The anti-Federation forces struggled against the global superpower, and their pro-Federation forces: people who used to be part of Cascadia. The traitors. Monarch, in the meantime, was training. He was going to be a pilot. A fighter. However, he failed out of flight school, for "taking too many unnecessary risks". He, personally, disagreed. He thought it was funny.
However, in his time at the flight school, he was noticed by someone. A man named Arnold Frenken, going by the callsign Kaiser. He was the leader of a mercenary group, and he liked how Monarch flew. Monarch agreed to join this merc group, one named Sicario. In the beginning of his time at Sicario, he proved himself to everyone by out-killing them on his FIRST CONTRACT.
After this contract, he was put in a group with three others: A girl with the callsign Prez; real name Robin; who was assigned as Monarch's co-pilot. She was the only co-pilot able to keep up with the insane g-forces Monarch consistently put himself through. A boy, callsign Diplomat, more often called Dip; real name Peter. He was assigned as one of Monarch's wingmen, Hitman 2. He was the son of a political ally of the king and queen; one who died in the same castle bombing as Monarch's parents. He was a good pilot, and was in the Cascadian Air Force before deserting at the same time as the next member of Hitman Squad. Another girl, callsign Comic; real name Evelyn. Another former Air Force member, having been discharged, then picked up by Kaiser at the same time as Monarch and Dip. All together, they were known as Hitman Squadron. They were the best that the Sicario group had, and sent on high-value missions.
During all this, Monarch slowly began being referred to by others as "the King of the Sky." This all culminated in his callsign being given to him, not created by him: "Monarch." It helped that he had.... somewhat of a collection of butterflies. He had always liked them... so had his mother.
One day, after a contract, Sicario was contacted by the anti-Federation forces. They needed help, and they were willing to pay. The war had settled for around 2 years, each side seemingly building up resources for a large clash that hadn't come. But the message was clear. It was time.
The war began. Sicario was sent first to reclaim parts of the country, then destroy certain parts of Federation infrastructure. Until their sixth mission. It seemed like a normal mission, and the objectives were completed by Hitman Squadron. Until the Peacekeepers arrived. The Peacekeepers were the Federation's best air fighters, only deployed to contain major threats. The squadron was the infamous Crimson squad: the best pilots that the Federation had. As all the other Cascadian forces retreated in a panic, Monarch realized something. This was the squadron that bombed the castle. This was the squadron that killed his parents.
Monarch, despite the warnings from his squad members, Sicario's leader, and even his co-pilot Prez, charged them. Despite taking some hits, and flying slightly sloppily due to the pure rage he was in, managed to shoot down one of the Crimson members, leading to their hasty retreat. As Monarch and Prez landed at the base and stepped out of the plane, they were met with nothing but silent, incredulous looks.
The war waged on. Monarch knew his target. He just waited. Kept carrying out missions. Until they got their biggest one yet. Over the Bering Strait, the biggest air battle in history was about to take place. A purely air-to-air combat scenario. This was to decide who had the best air force, and who won the war by extension. Hitman flew into the area, seeing nothing but planes, missiles, and smoke. They flew into combat, and the communications array lit up as both enemy and friendly comms could be heard.
Allied Pilot: We got new mercenary IFFs in the area, who do we got? Allied Pilot: Positive contact, looks like Sicario's here! Allied Pilot: Yeah, well, the only team worth a damn is Hitman! Federation Pilot: Watch it, those pilots that the Peacekeepers keep talking about are here. Federation Pilot: That asshole with the Crown with them? Allied Pilot: Their flight lead is worth every cent we’re paying him, look at him. Allied Pilot: I didn’t think mercenaries like that were around anymore, not after Oceania. Federation Pilot: Taking on a king in a battle royale, just our luck.
They knew who he was. They ALL knew who he was. Or at least... they knew his callsign. They didn't know that behind that visor, that pilot's helmet, was the rightful prince of Cascadia. More chatter was heard.
Allied Pilot: “Monarch?” Hell of a TAC name. Allied Pilot: Self-proclaimed? Sicario Pilot: Entire kingdoms are founded by people like him. Allied Pilot: He’s still a merc. Mercenary Pilot: Not every king is just.
They couldn't know. He could trust nobody but those who already knew.
Federation Pilot: Put a crosshair on that Crown, we take out the king and the rest will fall!
Federation Pilot: That flight being led by the Crown, those are the ones who got away from Crimson. Federation Pilot: We’ll show those blowhards what a salt-of-the-earth pilot can do.
They... They thought he was the leader of the rebellion. The figurehead. The king. As he shot more and more down, he smiled. In the midst of the pure chaos that was this air combat, he felt calm.
AWACS Galaxy: We’ve got inbound, pop-up bandit group at bearing 230, looks like they pulled back for one last push, there's a lot of them. AWACS Galaxy: IFF confirmed, Federation Peacekeeping Squadron Crimson identified with more reinforcements, this is it! Hitman 2 Diplomat: Ah shit...
Crimson 1: Crimson Squadron, ready the MLAAs, we’re putting an end to this party. Crimson Pilot: Looks like it’s those mercenaries, think they might turn tail and run again? Crimson 1: Not this time, open fire.
And as he heard Crimson Team arrive, he was enraged as before. And he did something he never had before, at least while flying; he spoke. Just one word.
Monarch: <>
And combat began. Monarch ended up shooting down half of Crimson team before they retreated, and he was still tempted to follow them. He was only calmed down when he noticed something: All of the friendly pilots had formed up on him. They were all following him. It was a sign of... respect.
Perhaps he was more of a leader than he thought.
The war waged on.
And then the capitol of Cascadia, it's pride and joy, Presidia, was hit with a nuclear bomb that set off cordium in the ground, causing a cataclysmic event and turning the land into a fiery hellscape. Despite this, Monarch and the rest of Sicario survived, shooting down many along the way. Encountering Crimson Team one final time. Shooting them all down. Until it was time for one final battle. And in the middle of this final battle, this climax to the war...
A ceasefire. The war was over. Cascadia and the Federation were.... stopping? Just like that? Monarch was... angry. His parents died for THIS? Despite this boiling rage.... Monarch accepted it. But someone else... someone else had not.
A sudden explosion. Presidia was turned into a fiery crater in an instant. A bomb, a nuclear bomb, had gone off. No. It had been set off. By HIM. Crimson 1. Monarch's rival, his Federation counterpart. One final duel. No wingmen, no reinforcements, nothing. Just Monarch, his trusted co-pilot Prez, and Crimson.
Hitman 1 WSO Prez: I don't know if I can do this, Monarch...I'm braced...
Prez was scared. Monarch knew that. But this was no time to run. He needed this fight.
<>
Crimson 1: You're a slave to history, Crimson 1: even after Calamity, you fight against the only order that can guarantee the safety of your people, Crimson 1: you solely are responsible for this.
Monarch absorbed every word Crimson said. But he didn't care. It was time to gun down the man who caused this. Who destroyed his country. Who killed his parents.
Crimson 1: What do you have to show for yourself, merc, blood? Gold? A broken throne?\note 1]) Crimson 1: I will bury you so completely, the earth will turn over a thousand times before your body is dug up.
Shut up.
Crimson 1: You can't run, you can't hide, you made this decision long ago, you can't back out of this deal!
Shut up.
Crimson 1: I'm Cascadian, you think I take joy fighting over my homeland, killing my own countrymen?![\note 2])](https://projectwingman.fandom.com/wiki/Transcript:Kings#cite_note-note2-2) Crimson 1: If you never showed up, I never would have lost all that I have!

SHUT UP.

They flew, firing at each other, Monarch putting himself and Prez through extreme g-forces to keep up with the former Peacekeeper, who was in some sort of experimental aircraft. But eventually, he landed enough hits to make Crimson speak again.
Hitman 1 WSO Prez: [grunts] God-[grunts] Monarch...I can't keep up...I can't...I can't...
Hitman 1 WSO Prez: I'm...sorry... [thud]
Prez was down. Monarch knew that. Whether she was passed out from the g-forces, or.....
Best not to think the worst. He would win this. For her.
Crimson 1: Me and you now. No distractions, no wingmen, no war, just me and you, whoever wins is the best pilot. Crimson 1: Every safety's coming off, no second chances.
No second chances. Kill him.
Crimson 1: "Monarch," you use the name of a king, but what do you rule over, the dead?! The Federation fought for peace in this war and you denied them that! Crimson 1: The people of Cascadia, do you know what you've taken from them?! Their homes! And for what, to secede from the world?! What, you think you can fight this war again in 50 years' time, do you really think history will see it your way?! Crimson 1: You don't even care why you're here!
To avenge him. Her. His people.
Crimson 1: How does it feel to not have a country, to not have borders to define yourself against the world?
This WAS his country. His borders. His people.
Crimson 1: The Calamity erased mankind once, our chance to start again, this is how you've dealt with it?!
Silence. Monarch still offered no response. Crimson was getting angrier and angrier. Let him slip up. Then strike.
Crimson 1: You drove me to this...this death and destruction over the Federation, millions of lives lost... [sighs] So many ghosts... Kill me...or be killed!

Kill. Kill. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. Kill.

Monarch kept flying. He needed to do this. End this. Reclaim his country.
Crimson 1: This is my home!
His as well.
Crimson 1: Here we are, fighting for Cascadia's soul. Crimson 1: That's the deal you made, right?
Cascadia's soul was rightfully his. He was the pri- no. Monarch was the king. It's just that nobody knew it yet.
Crimson 1: What happens when you shoot me down?! Can you even think?! What will you return to?! Where will you go?! We both know how this ends!
What... would happen? Would he rule? Reclaim? or simply... fade away?
Crimson 1: Kill me, kill me and see what happens to this world! Crimson 1: Either way, your life ends today! Crimson 1: And my squadron, do you think they deserved it?!
And Monarch spoke his first, and only words of the fight. Not to Crimson, but to himself: <>
Crimson 1: The Federation might try to forget about you, but I won't, this is for the good of the world, Crimson 1: die, mercenary!
But it wouldn't be Monarch dying that day.
Crimson 1: No...no, not yet!
It was time.
Crimson 1: God damn it, Crimson 1: come on, I've almost got him!
The truth was there.
Crimson 1: [panting and angry screaming]
They were both incredible pilots, fighting until the bitter end.
Crimson 1: Come on, come in for that kill, you dog!
But Monarch was simply....
Crimson 1: God damn! [coughs]
Better.
System: Hostile Eliminated.

Crimson 1 was shot down.

Crimson 1: Monarch, when you hear the thunder...
<<...?>> Crimson 1: ...when the storm...comes for you...
<<...>> Crimson 1: ...remember me.
<<....I will.>>
And as Crimson went down, Monarch flew away, towards the others. And as he landed, he got Prez out of her seat, praying she woke up. And as she did, they hugged tight.
Both of them sat for a moment, before the plane's communication systems crackled back to life.
Hitman 3 Comic: Transmitting a beacon. Dust Mother, he better pick this up...
Assassin 1 Kaiser: They had to take this from us! We'll burn them all, we’ll burn down the Federation!
Hitman 2 Diplomat: Eve? Eve!
Hitman 3 Comic: [gasps] Hey, I’m over here! Hell's bells, I was about three seconds away from putting a bullet in you!
Hitman 2 Diplomat: It's alright, I probably deserved it at some point, are you good to move?
Hitman 3 Comic: Yeah, yeah. It's all gone to hell, the world is about to be remade.
Hitman 2 Diplomat: We're finished here, we gotta disappear for a bit, I don't want to get caught up in what's coming.
Hitman 3 Comic: What about what we're owed?
Hitman 2 Diplomat: Monarch will collect.
Monarch: <>
They traced Monarch and Prez to the plane, and all of Hitman squad simply.... sat.
Monarch: <>

Later....

Cascadia was whole again. As the world worked together to rebuild the destroyed lands, they all promised that never again would another war of this scale be allowed to happen. Of course, there were still rebellious groups. Groups that needed mercenaries to clear those rebellious groups out. And Monarch was thrust into the world's light, as not only the son of the former King and Queen of Cascadia, but the killer of Crimson 1.
However, instead of becoming a king, he created a council. A council of those he trusted, his "family". The ones who would hold power over certain parts of the country. But he never truly lost his lust for the air, for adrenaline. So he gave power of the country to them, and.... simply went back to being the best mercenary the world had ever seen.
Until the Pilot rolled around. Or, more aptly: flew around. He was from another universe, one that supposedly had... wizards? Magic? Of course, Monarch was intrigued. This "Pilot" man also seemed to... know who Monarch and Prez were, and specifically asked for them. So he followed.
<>
*Monarch stands, and walks away.*
/uw HOLY SHIT! This might be the longest thing i've ever written, at more than 8 PAGES. This took me like 2 and a half hours. hope you enjoyed!
submitted by GhostDragon362 to wizardposting [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 03:09 ImNoLongerHigh Things I’ve learned that might help! 🫶🏽

1.) Limit the amount of pain meds you take. If you take it every 4hrs try every 5 or 6. Can help so your body doesn’t keep building a tolerance to it. (This’ll also help later if you decide you want to ween off or just start taking less)
2.) DONT stop drinking water. EVER. Not even for a day and put cucumber and lemons in your water. I know for some it might taste bad or too strong but just use as much as you can tolerate or drink a strong glass of it once a day/every 2 days.
3.) Vitamin C will help with withdrawals if you wanna cut cold turkey. If it’s still shitty take Kratom. Specifically Red Hulu ones. (You can get them from your local vape/tobacco shop if it’s legal, also google could help)
4.) The MINUTE I mean IMMEDIATELY take ibuprofen and use a heat pad and drink tea if you feel even the slightest of pain. Even if it’s just a flash pain, do IT! It’ll try to catch it early so you don’t end up in the hospital.
5.) When someone is yappin about taking ANY pain meds ✨dissociate✨. Only you know how you feel. Nobody can take that from you.
6.) Advocate for yourself CALMLY. If you start to get riled up they WILL assume you’re seeking. Trust me on this one. It’s better to be seen as “not in that much pain” than immediately being labeled.
7.) Under NO circumstances should you ask for or be prescribed Suboxone. Once that happens you’re done. Even if you’re in crisis. The most you’ll get is like Toradol and that shit is WEAK.
8.) Eat as many fruits and veggies as you can and do some walking. Light exercise can help in the long run but remember your limits.
9.) If you are like how I was at one point and the hospital is your comfort place, please look within yourself, and see how you can fix your home/room to be as comfortable and loving and SAFE as possible.
10.) If you’re a woman/born female and you get cramps, take the ibuprofen A DAY before your period comes (if you can cause Ik im an irregular girlie) so you can beat your cramps to the punch. Trust me I get it LMFAOOO shit is WHACK
11.) Remember to love yourself always and remember you deserve to be loved. 🫶🏽❤️ Don’t hide that disease girl, if they’re genuine and care about you it won’t matter to them. Also secrets aren’t fun all the time 😌
Hope this helps! If you guys have anything else you’d like to add please lmk I will add it on here :)
submitted by ImNoLongerHigh to Sicklecell [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 02:16 Prisoner8612 What do Sertraline/Zoloft protracted withdrawals look like and how long could they last?

So I was on Sertraline between 2015-16 and came off after experiencing what doctors diagnosed as Bipolar but since I've realised was just a one-off episode resembling certain manic traits (delusions/overvalued ideas, decreased need for sleep, overspending etc). I've never had any hypomanic/manic episodes outside of Sertraline.
I came off it at 150mg cold turkey because I couldn't handle these and other side-effects. No psychiatrist commented on the risks of going cold turkey either. Going cold turkey was definitely stupid looking back but I was 16/17 at the time.
I watched a documentary last year - Panorama: The Antidepressant Story where a psychiatrist, Dr Mark Horowitz was talking about protracted withdrawals especially in terms of SSRIs and how you're not supposed to stop them cold turkey. I've seen other doctors online also talk about this. A lot of the things discussed in the doc (Agoraphobia, panic attacks, dissociation, symptoms resembling mania, leg tremors, muscle rigidity etc) I've experienced since 2015.
What can Sertraline protracted withdrawals look like? and Could they last this long.
Sorry if this sounds like a stupid question, but if you don't ask you don't know.
submitted by Prisoner8612 to zoloft [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 02:15 thesheepshepard Roland Arryn, Knight of the Gate

PC

Reddit Account: u/TheSacredGroves
Discord Tag: justinkayce
Name and House: Roland, of House Arryn
Age: 28
Cultural Group: Andal
Appearance: Tall, lean, well-muscled, handsome, fair - Roland is the portrait of a Knight of legend, of the Winged Knight come again. Harsh sky-blue eyes, severe cheekbones, and the familial aquitaine nose give him a cold and distant look - but one frequently broken by his warm and gentle smile. He keeps his pale-blonde hair long and his jaw clean shaven, accentuating the lines of his face. Roland is always neat and clean, his armour burnished and his threads well-tailored and fashionable.
Trait: Blademaster
Skill(s): Swords (e), Andal Knight (e), Essosi Blademaster
Talent(s): Dancing, Hawking, Singing
Negative Trait(s): -
Starting Title(s): Knight of the Gate
Starting Location: King's Landing
Alternate Characters: n/a

Bio-Timeline

  • 3 BC: Roland Arryn is born to King Joffrey I Arryn and his wife, Queen Sharra. The third son, Roland's birth firmly secures the succession - fortunately timed considering his father's death later that year.
  • 1 BC: The Conquest passes the two year old Roland by, the only impact on him being the squall he raised when Vhagar landed atop the Eyrie.
  • 1-4 AC: The post-conquest world is the only one Roland knows, and he grows up in a household dedicated much to it. House Arryn in this period is an odd family, to say the least. Sharra Arryn's attentions are much divided and she has less time than a mother normally would for her third son; Roland is mostly raised by the medley of the Arryn Household and Court and is well-moulded by that as the expectations of maester, septon, courtiers, knights, servants, begin to be shape him into what an Arryn 'should' be in the eyes of their people.
  • 5 AC: Roland struggles to find his place as a third son with little direct supervision. It is decided early that he does not have the smarts to become Septon nor Maester... but even as a youth Roland has a keen interest in the training yard, often an annoying shadow to his eldest brother and his squire friends. However, even at eight years old it is clear there is a natural talent to the boy - and when he defeats a squire four years older than him in a training bout in the presence of Lord Corbray, the famed Raven Knight, takes the precocious boy on as a page.
  • 6 AC: Roland is by Lord Corbray's side when he tracks down the Root Father. Now a newly minted squire, Roland ignores his knight's orders to remain with the horses and sneaks after them. He kills his first man there, taking a clansman from behind as he in turn tried to attack the Raven Knight from the back. It is not an honourable kill or a clean death, and Roland is badly injured in the scuffle - but he survives. Lord Corbray is furious, and fiercely instils in Roland the importance of fighting with chivalry and honour. He almost abandons Roland, but his tearful begging convinces the Raven Knight that Roland is genuine in his regret.
  • 7 AC: Visenya Targaryen's visits to the Eyrie become more frequent, and Roland's wariness of the stern, dragon-riding pagan is overcome by his fascination with said dragon, her skill with the blade... and his mother's growing closeness to the Queen. Visenya becomes something of a second mother to Roland, and her influences war with Lord Corbray's own. From Lord Corbray, Roland learns chivalry, honour, piety, and how a true Andal Knight should act. From Queen Visenya, Roland learns the importance of victory, and an understanding that wars must be won - he learns practicalities and realities. It is a schism within Roland that troubles him, but from both he learns the blade and even at ten it is more and more obvious there is something special about Roland. He quarrels sometimes with his brothers. Jonos, as even at ten, Roland could find little but disdain for his scheming, sneering, brother, and Ronnel as again even at ten, Roland already began to see himself as the better sword (and grows envious that Ronnel gets to adventure and party while Lord Corbray keeps Roland on a much tighter leash).
  • 10 AC: Roland learns of his mother's death while at Heart's Home. He returns home swiftly, and his grief is overwhelming. There are few Roland can turn to; Ronnel is concerned with his marriage and rulership, Arwen retreats into the forests, and Jonos is Jonos. Roland relies further on Visenya, who has experienced such grief herself recently and guides Roland through it. Her place as a mother to Roland is confirmed in utterance. To distract himself, Roland throws himself fully into his training and an ensuing victory at a squire's melee at the age of ten and three sparks his reputation as a squire to watch across the Vale.
  • 12 AC: Roland, at ten and five, wins the squire's tourney at Maiden’s Bay. He is stopped from sneaking into the higher tourneys by Lord Corbray, much to Roland's chargrin and his demand to be knighted is refused. His calamitously sized ego is rapidly deflated by the Eyrie's Septon and Queen Visenya, who pick him apart and teach him between them the values of humility, and the value of letting ones abilities speak for themselves. Roland does his best to control his pride in the future; ego is rarely ever an issue from him.
  • 13 AC: While the honour of the day goes to the Cavaliers, Roland Arryn wins his spurs when the Painted Dogs are crushed under the Moon Gate, killing near as much as the Cavalier Superior herself. That his knighthood was overshadowed by an order of women warriors initially irritated Roland, but recalling his lessons from the last year, he happily shared the honour alongside them and was one of the voices that petitioned his brother to replace the Keeper with the Cavaliers. Knighted, Roland joins the Brotherhood of the Winged Knights and although young, is a key figure in helping rejuvenate the Brotherhood.
  • 14 AC: Roland is betrothed to Alayne Waynwood; their romance is one from the storybooks, an instant and deep connection from the moment of meeting.
  • 15 AC: Roland and Alayne wed as soon as they turn ten and eight. Part in celebration and part as dignitaries, the pair go to King's Landing together as guests of Lord Orys' great hunt for his son's coming of age. At the Kingswood Catastrophe, Roland saves Orys' life, but Alayne is slain defending other noblewomen. Roland hunts down, duels, and kills the King of the Wood afterwards. He is offered the Whitecloak for his service; on advice from Visenya, he declines, claiming his family needs him and he can defend Laenor and Visenya just as well in the Vale.
  • 16 AC: Roland withdraws into mourning for a year, taking up a brutal campaign of bandit hunting in the Vale to cope with his grief.
  • 17-18 AC: Roland returns to his brother's side, continuing to help rebuild the Brotherhood of the Winged Knights and slowly coming to terms with Alayne's death. He begins to more keenly ride the tourney track between his duties, earning a reputation as a fine lance alongside his growing reputation as one of the greatest knights in the realm.
  • 19 AC: With Roland settling into his knightly role, Ronnel names him Knight of the Gate, with the downside of forcing Roland to have to keep a firm hand on Jonos from time to time when their brother is exiled to the Gate for yet another slight. The relationship between Jonos and Roland sours; where Ronnel threatens Jonos with exile or the Wall, Roland threatens him with death.
  • 20 AC: Requested personally by Visenya, Roland tries to take on Prince Laenor as a squire. They are utterly ill-suited to the role, and after many frustrating failed training sessions in the yard, Roland gives up, labelling the Prince untrainable. The relationship between the two almost-siblings sours, but Roland works to repair the rift he created between them with much kinder words.
  • 21 AC: Roland develops a relationship with a fellow Knight of the Vale, Colmar Corbray - the son and heir of the aging Raven Knight. Colmar has a fire in him that Roland can't help but seek, and he excuses Colmar's many flaws far too readily. It is a secretive bond, and toxic, but Roland does not believe he deserves better after letting Alayne die.
  • 22 AC: The Winged Knights are whipped into fervour as yet another piece of the ancient armour is found. Roland himself dreams of perhaps finding more. Inspired my tales of the armour, the Brotherhood grows even further and in order to keep a firm hand on them, Ronnel makes Roland their Commander.
  • 23 AC: Roland and Colmar's relationship deteriorates, ending in a duel that sees Colmar humiliated but, thankfully, alive. The two men hate each other from then on.
  • 25 AC: Roland rides by his brother's side to King's Landing.

Family Tree

AC

Name and House: Marla of Gulltown
Age: 34
Cultural Group: Andal
Appearance: Broad and strong with well-calloused hands, Marla is as obvious a blacksmith as Roland is a knight. She keeps her brown hair tied severely back, framing her dour face with its squinting brown and wide mouth that wears an almost perpetual frown.
Trait: Artisan (Weapons)
Skill(s): Craftsman (e weapons; e armor)
Talent(s): Whittling, singing, maintenance of arms and armour
Negative Trait(s): -
Starting Title(s): King's Landing
Starting Location: Master of the Armoury of the Bloody Gate

Timeline

  • 9 BC: Marla of Gulltown is born to a master-armourer in Gulltown
  • 1 BC: Marla begs her father to help as his assistant as he tries to deal with the massive increase in orders thanks to the Conquest; he reluctantly agrees. Her older brother dies when Vhagar burns the Vale's fleet.
  • 2 AC: Marla secretly goes out to work her father's forge at night, practicing at smithing - and finding herself something of a prodigy.
  • 6 AC: Her father dies of a weak heart. Marla and her mother discover his great gambling debts, and no money saved for them. They keep her father's death a secret as Marla works the forge to complete his current orders - what comes after that, no one knows.
  • 7 AC: Somehow, the charade is kept up. Marla's father is portrayed as a recluse who has devoted himself to his work and the Smith and will see no one in person. This mystery increases the shop's popularity, and many marvel at how greatly his work has improved since taking up this holy vow of solitude.
  • 10 AC: A young merchant attempts to woo Marla and is rebuffed. Spying on her, he discovers her secret, and spreads it through Gulltown. The reputation of the shop collapses, and Marla and her mother flee ahead of those furious at the deception, the Faith angry that they had been used, and the law's punishment for fraud. They flee to Pentos.
  • 11 AC: Marla finds work with a Qohorik blacksmith, an old master, now drunk and washed up. He teaches her all he knows. Helping each other back to their feet, the pair set up a proper shop, once more, together.
  • 15 AC: The old blacksmith dies; Pentos proves to be unfriendly in its business to a woman by herself without the old master by her side. Despairing, Marla hears about the Cavaliers of the Vale, and reckons that if her home will now accept female knights, surely they'll accept a female blacksmith.
  • 16 AC: Marla returns to the Vale with her mother. She avoids Gulltown and instead heads to the Gates of the Moon, seeking to offer her services to the Cavaliers. She is accosted by vengeful Painted Dogs on the way, and saved by the miraculous intervention of Roland. He offers to accompany her to the Gates of the Moon, where Marla is gladly accepted.
  • 17 AC: Having forged arms and armour for Roland as well, which Roland raves over, Roland has his brother take her on as the Arryn's personal smith and armourer.
  • 19 AC: When Roland is given the Bloody Gate, he begs Marla to come with him, who agrees in part. The smith spends her time between the two Gates and the Eyrie, overseeing the arms and armours of all the Arryn forces. Mostly remaining at the Bloody Gate, Marla becomes an integral part of the Winged Knights.
  • 20-24 AC: Marla is regularly persuaded to accompany Roland to yet another tourney to help maintain his arms and armour. She grumbles, but secretly enjoys the competitions. Tales of the Winged Knights armour fascinate the Blacksmith, and with her small amount of Qohorik experience she helps verify the pieces as true Valyrian Steel. Her and Roland worsen each others obsession with tracking down the rest.
  • 25 AC: Marla rides to King's Landing with her Lord and Knight, ready to work her magic if Roland breaks his armour yet again.

Supporting Characters

  • Septon Gernot, 41 (Medic) - Septon of the Gate
  • Maester Guy, 42 (Scholar) - Maester of the Gate
  • Ser Martin Donnerly, 36 (General) - Castellan of the Gate
submitted by thesheepshepard to ITRPCommunity [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 01:55 Judeelaine how long trintellix withdrawal symptoms last?

its my 4th day since i quit trintellix10mg. i took it for only 2 days and i don't like the results. my hands are shaking really bad.. and my diarrhea is bad.. i tried jogging to shake off the feeling but it makes no difference, i don't get tired at all.. but not in the mood doing anything... i only sleep for 3 hours daily and waking up my body is shaking inside.. my mouth is so dry and no appetite.. i lost 5 lbs in just 3 days... this is my first time taking antidepressants (for only 2 days) and it was not for me.. my feelings is worse than before... im not irritated but i don't understand my feelings..
withdrawal symptoms is the worse... i hope it will subside soon...
submitted by Judeelaine to antidepressants [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 01:41 Lumpy_Web5297 Caffeine withdrawal?!

I am pretty sure this is what is going on with me! Without me realizing it originally….
Short story; about 2 weeks ago I noticed that I had some frontal neck tightness, like my veins I could feel more blood flow happening in them? Or my pulse? Idk, but it didn’t feel right. Also had some irritability and hot flashes. Then I noticed my chest was tightening! I had already experienced some pins and needles feelings in my hands and arms. I had just started an upper dose of my thyroid medicine which can also cause quite a bit and thought it was just that. So because of the cardiovascular issues I was feeling, I decided to completely stop caffeine just in case bc I didn’t want to exasperate my symptoms. Important to note, I had already decided to bring down my caffeine content because I know it was too high, but I did not really connect any of this to lowering or tapering my caffeine at all until the last couple of days! I truly thought it was just my medication. However, seeing as I was very dependent upon caffeine for the last 20 some years at anywhere between 500 to 700 mg of caffeine a day throughout the day, caffeine withdrawal makes total sense! Could my thyroid medicine have contributed? Absolutely, probably so but at this point I think that I’m really in the thick of it when it comes to caffeine withdrawal because I have completely stopped my medication. Symptoms included: I have been experiencing some chest tightening/discomfort. It was never painful but it was just very tight and heavy feeling. I have had heart palpitations that I could feel in my chest and in my neck, along with neck restriction, almost strangulation feeling! Bad headaches and I would say the oddest one were cold tremors. There was one night where I was wearing a full clothing plus a onesie and a blanket and my whole body was tremoring. I ended up going to the hospital ER twice thinking that it was something to do with my heart and each time they ran an EKG which came back totally normal. The first time they also checked my blood for troponin which signifies whether or not you may have had a heart attack and it was fine. They did a CT scan on my neck since I complained of tightening and restriction and it completely came back fine and a chest x-ray to check my heart and lungs which was also fine. The second time I went to the hospital they did, like I said another EKG, which was fine and another x-ray which was also fine and basically asked if I was stressed or have anxiety (which I never have!)
So, all this to say, it’s gotta be the caffeine withdrawal! I’ve always been someone who has tried to be physically fit and today I felt probably the best I have felt in two weeks so I went on the smallest jog ever and it felt fantastic during but after resting for about 10 to 15 minutes that sudden rushed pulsing in my neck came back and after doing some research it looks like caffeine normally will restrict the blood flow to your head and so it seems like maybe I’m getting more blood flow now that I’m not having caffeine to restrict blood flow, which is causing the pulsating to where I can feel it as well as the headaches. It’s insane!
Please tell me I’m not alone?! How long does this last!
submitted by Lumpy_Web5297 to decaf [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 01:18 Anon-boy- Will I have problems/be denied entry at the airport?

Salam brothers and sisters,
I'm a Syrian male, early 20s with German citizenship. I'll be using my German passport to enter at Cairo International airport.
As I understand, I only need a Visa on arrival and $25 Cash to pay for it.
I'm coming to visit one of my aunts (and cousins etc.) that lives there, and to meet some more relatives arriving from a different country to visit them too.
But with the current Genocide in Gaza, me traveling alone as an early 20s male, I feel like it's a recipe to be arrested by Mukhabarat and interrogated for like 3 days only to be bailed out by the German embassy and immediately put back on a plane to Germany.
What's the likelihood of that actually happening?
To clarify, I don't have a Syrian passport despite being a citizen and being born there (left at like 9 yrs old, parents renewed once at age 14-15 I think). Last time it was renewed, I was a child, so I don't have any Syrian papers whatsoever.
Also, a few more unrelated questions:
Can I convert Euros to Egyptian Pound at the airport or nearby for a reasonable exchange rate (what exchange rate can I expect roughly? Google says 1 EUR = 51 EGP, but before February it was 1 = 33)?
Can I withdraw Cash at ATMs with a MasterCard? Are ATMs common?
How much money should I bring for a week? I'm staying with relatives, food etc. is arranged, it's mainly getting a Taxi from and to the airport, and small everyday expenses like eating at a Café/Restaurant (none tourist area), buying snacks, perhaps buying 1-2 pairs of normal shoes, Jeans and 2-3 T-Shirts. Is 200-300€ (10-15k EGP) enough?
Where to find a Boycott list (I know that they sell in other names unknown to non locals)?
Regarding prayer times, I assume Adhaan is called loudly for each prayer. But how long after that does the prayer in the Masjid actually start? There's a standardized delay of X minutes, right? Or is it different from Mosque to Mosque, like here in the West?
What's the chance that police/Mukhabarat at the airport demands that I unlock my phone to read through my private stuff? What's the consequence of refusing?
If I'm approached/interrogated/detained by someone who claims to be civilian dressed police in the street, on a bus or in a restaurant/mosque or wherever, how do I know they're truly police and not just a robber or criminal? In Germany nobody gets to tell me what to do if they're not uniformed police, or show ID to prove they're undercover police. Not even military in uniform have any authority over civilians. But I read in a different post here that armed civilian police, with guns openly drawn/worn, searched a bus the OP was on without providing any ID, any announcement or clarification to anyone. Do I just STFU and assume it's legit police every time?
Who do I call if someone is overstepping their boundaries? Police?
If someone attacks me/provokes a fight, and I defend myself and let's say I punch them or whatever, am I screwed?
I'm sorry to overwhelm you with so many questions, but the ADHD/over worrying kicks in hard for me in unknown circumstances.
Thanks so much for anyone who takes the time to answer some of my questions.
submitted by Anon-boy- to CAIRO [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 00:38 reggie_the_egg getting worse

SH MENTIONED SO SMALL TW IG
been off my meds for a long time, ab a month, maybe longer. not by choice but my mom kept forgetting to make me therapy appointments so i'm not enrolled (i think thats the word) anymore. It'll be at least another month til i get my meds again. I figured eventually the withdrawals would go away but they're getting worse. I'm constantly dizzy with headaches that make me want to scream, of course i couldn't scream, i would probably faint. my limbs are heavy and my heart rate is irregular. Of course my depression is getting worse too, since i've been off my meds i've let my room get messy, screamed at and even hit my loved ones, and relapsed after being 2 years SH clean. I'm so angry and depressed and sick. I just want my meds. Maybe someone had advice on how to get my life back before i get my meds..?
submitted by reggie_the_egg to zoloft [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 00:22 WillowGrouchy2204 FIRE'd at the worst time - Analysis, Questions and Learnings

I FIRE'd at probably the worst market conditions in a while on Jan 1, 2022. So it's been about 2.5 years.
Here's my net worth numbers, I am renting, so this is all invested in mutual funds. No additional side income. I am assuming a 3% SWR. I'm now 38 years old, single, no kids.
Date Net Worth Percent Change Safe Withdrawal
Jan 2022 3.4M 104k
July 2022 2.8M -18% 84k
Oct 2022 2.6M -24% 78k
Nov 2022 2.8M -18% 85k
Feb 2023 3M -12% 91k
Dec 2023 3.3M -3% 101k
March 2024 3.5M +2% 105k
May 2024 3.6M +6% 110k
Withdrawals:
  • 2022: 15k ( Had cash on hand already )
  • 2023: 77k
  • 2024: YTD 32k / Estimated: 64-85k
Analysis / Questions
I think the highest my withdrawals would be this year would be 85k. Given that the lowest my SW number went was around 78k I'm thinking this might be a pretty good baseline to try to keep moving forward?
Aside from tracking my withdrawals, I haven't really been tracking my expenses too much. It's been a breath of fresh air to relax and not be so obsessed with the numbers on a weekly or monthly basis. I have a very simple setup for handling my checking and savings accounts with bills and regular spending that I can share in a follow up post if anyone is interested.
For major upcoming life expenses, I'm looking to buy some land out in the country and eventually build a home on it when / if I decide to move further away from the city center. My strategy for doing this will be most likely a personal line of credit that's secured with investments. I think this will end up being less interest than getting a land loan, but i'm not sure yet. One friend suggests only paying interest on this loan & keeping money in the market as long as possible, but idk. I like the idea of paying it off with whatever excess money I have in my capital gains limit and still be at 0% tax.
The area I'm looking at is an up and coming area that's currently experiencing explosive growth, so it seems like a good time to buy now and I'll be thinking of the purchase as an additional investment for now, since I'll still be renting for a few more years. So I'd keep that amount of money in my safe withdrawal calculations. There's a very good chance it'll appreciate as much or more than the stock market in the next 10 years.
Another area that I have a question: I have about 400k in my 401k and with my excess capital gains I can convert some of it to a Traditional IRA and then roll into a Roth IRA. I'm not sure if this is worth doing vs doing a capital gains harvest if we have another up year.
With a capital gains harvest in 2023, I was able to harvest around 20k and reset the cost basis. I think I could have instead converted 20k from my 401k to my Roth and paid around 10% tax on it in order to do that. I'm curious what y'all think is best?
ChatGPT seems to think the best plan is different depending on up and down years. On up years, harvest as much capital gains as possible while also doing a small roth conversion that keeps me in the lowest income tax bracket of 10%. On down years, harvest losses and do larger roth conversions since the losses can be used to offset taxable income and stay within that 10% bracket.
Learnings
- When you transition to FIRE it's very important to turn off re-invest dividends and have them sent straight to your bank account instead. I made a mistake with this in year 1 & 2 and ended up with a wash sale on some of my re-invested dividends. Then just withdraw extra money as needed throughout the year.
  • Retire TO something. This has been mentioned a lot on this forum, but I FIRE'd to escape work hell that I was in and didn't have a solid plan for after. I was under too much stress to formulate much of a plan at the time and I paid for it. I spent almost a year in a deep depression. I would recommend figuring out what you want to do with your time while you're still working. Another thing to consider is you can actually do this stuff a little bit while still working, you'll just have more time afterwards! I did eventually start a few fun projects I wanted to try and made some major life changes, so things are looking up this year!
  • Have a consulting side business if it makes sense. If you're planning to actually try to work then you want an LLC otherwise it's cheaper to register as a sole proprietorship. It's pretty fun to hop on phone calls and talk about stuff you're interested in. Very low stress, would recommend. I've only done a few, but I would do more. The major benefit of this is you can write off expenses for a bunch of stuff, which allows you to harvest more gains at the end of the year to reset cost basis and save more money on taxes in the long run. It's important to stay very diligent with separating your income / expenses for business vs personal. But this also provides an opportunity to get a ton of credit card points on a business card if you're planning to set up a home office with a new computer and stuff.
  • Pay estimated taxes! I messed this one up last year and got a small penalty.
FAQ
  • How did I FIRE at an early age? It was due to a startup that blew up. I consider it to be equal parts hard work and luck to be honest. Not everyone at my company got the same payout though. I had negotiated better terms throughout the time I was there, so that's something to keep in mind.
  • Do I plan to stay single and no kids? I'm hoping to find another relationship which I expect will increase my expenses a bit. IDK about kids, but I'm assuming that if I do then I'll need to go back to work or lean on my partner's work if they wish to keep working. I'll make that decision once the time comes. Maybe I'll get with someone that FIRE'd at an even higher amount? hahahaha
Thanks for taking the time to read this and sharing your thoughts!
submitted by WillowGrouchy2204 to financialindependence [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 00:08 brevitycloud Advice for upcoming WA1440

I signed up to a WA1440... It's next weekend. I'm a lady Recurve archer on 30" limbs but long draw so prob 32ish".
Ive been shooting just under a year and have done a couple indoor competitions. I didn't fully understand what wa1440 was when I signed up. Im aware it's 144 arrows. That you start shooting at a long distance and drop down, moving onto smaller target faces too (at 30m?? Though some sources say 50m eek?), but I thought I could choose what distance I shoot at. Ie 60/50/40/30 would be perfect.
Ive been shooting not embarrassing scores at 50m since we moved outdoors. I shot 60m for the first time today and "hit the boss reliably" which I'm happy with but not high enough to now want to shoot at 70m. My sight is on 8/10 at 60m (shibuya ultima)
Buuut am I expected to shoot at 70m next week!? I don't know how I'm going to be able to manage that without too many misses and idk if I'll even reach the target with the sight maxed out. Can I decline to shoot a distance? Shall I give it a bosh for the lols? I don't want to hamper the experience of other archers around me, I just want to have fun and push myself a bit.
Also do I have to wear green and white? I don't have clothes of that colour-- no idea where I'm meant to get them from!
I have some 34" limbs which I've used off and on. I can do around 40 arrows on them before I need a rest, so I'm hesitant to use them for the comp. also I'm not super keen on recalibrating everything so close to comp.
tldr... am I too under prepared for this and should I withdraw
submitted by brevitycloud to Archery [link] [comments]


2024.05.18 22:08 elmehdi_01 How can it be done ?

Hello everyone, I (25M) recently started thinking about stopping smoking (or at least limit my usage).
I come from a long history of drug abuse (pills, cannabis..). I’m just thinking that since i stopped those goddamn heavy addictions, why can’t i do the same for nicotine ?
Obviously, nicotine is the hardest to get rid of because of how accessible and socially acceptable it is.. I really want to stop smoking a pack a day, but a voice in my head keeps telling me how i would be craving for that smoke next time after a big meal or an orgasm or a moment of existential dread.. or even a cup of coffee..
Ex-smokers, how did you do it ? Do you recommand using nicotine patches or other products at first to weigh down the withdrawal, or go cold turkey (won’t that be dangerous from a health/psychological pov ?)
Pls share your thoughts and experiences
submitted by elmehdi_01 to stopsmoking [link] [comments]


2024.05.18 21:10 chuckyferg Early ROTH withdrawal

I’m 24 y/o and need to take an early withdrawal out of my Fidelity Roth IRA because I spent more money than anticipated on a trip (learned a valuable lesson). I sold a Fidelity mutual fund at a cost basis of $552 and the long term capital gains position is $94. I’ve had this Roth for less than a year and am in the 22% tax bracket. How much will I need to withhold to avoid paying taxes next year?
PS. Also surprised that my closed positions is showing a long term capital gain when I’ve had the position for less than a year. If I’m missing something here please let me know. Thanks!
submitted by chuckyferg to personalfinance [link] [comments]


2024.05.18 20:59 TheMidnightGlob Finally 'diagnosed' Paul 🤣

It's not narcissism. It's not Peter Pan Syndrome. It's not even ADHD. It's Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD)!
It's a cluster B disorder, up there with narcissism, BPD and sociopathy so any traits confusion is justified 🤣
From ncibi.nlm.nih.gov:
Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD) is a chronic and enduring condition marked by a consistent pattern of attention-seeking behaviors and an exaggerated display of emotions. Typically emerging in late adolescence or early adulthood, individuals with HPD are often characterized as narcissistic, self-indulgent, and flirtatious. Individuals with HPD may feel undervalued when not in the spotlight, leading to a persistent need for validation.
Histrionic personality disorder (HPD) is characterized by a pervasive pattern of attention-seeking behaviors and a theatrical level of emotional reactions. The condition is usually life-long, though onset is typically in late adolescence or early adulthood. Individuals with HPD are often described as narcissistic, self-indulgent, flirtatious, dramatic, extroverted, and animated. Individuals with HPD may feel underappreciated or disregarded when they are not the center of attention. They may be vibrant, enchanting, overly seductive, or inappropriately sexual. People presenting with HPD typically demonstrate rapidly shifting and shallow emotions that others may perceive as insincere.
Physicians observed individuals who displayed excessive theatricality and emotional expression, emphasizing attention-seeking behavior and self-dramatization.
The DSM-5-TR divides personality disorders into Cluster A, Cluster B, and Cluster C. Each cluster encompasses a distinct set of personality disorders with commonalities regarding symptoms, behaviors, and underlying psychological patterns.
Cluster A
Personality disorders with odd or eccentric characteristics. These include paranoid personality disorder, schizoid personality disorder, and schizotypal personality disorder. Individuals within this cluster exhibit social withdrawal, peculiar or paranoid beliefs, and difficulties forming close relationships.
Cluster B - (category where HPD is)
Personality disorders with dramatic, emotional, or erratic behaviors. This cluster includes antisocial personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, histrionic personality disorder, and narcissistic personality disorder. Individuals within this cluster display impulsive actions, emotional instability, and challenges in maintaining stable relationships.
Cluster C
Personality disorders with anxious and fearful characteristics. These include avoidant personality disorder, dependent personality disorder, and obsessive-compulsive personality disorder. Individuals within this cluster tend to experience significant anxiety, fear of abandonment, and an excessive need for control or perfectionism.
The individual with HPD is unlikely to see their behaviors as problematic. They may have excessive sensitivity to criticism and speak in a way that attempts to lure.
History can vary widely, and they are likely to talk about activities that provoke a reaction, such as sexual history or faking a medical condition. In more recent years, individuals with HPD have had similar behaviors and postings on social media websites.
Apearance: The patient's general grooming and fashion choices should be noted.
Behavior: Individuals with HPD have eccentric and disinhibited behaviors. They may have splitting behaviors depending on how the psychiatric interview is proceeding. Other behaviors can include dramatic storytelling, hypersexual gestures, and acting out to become the center of attention.
Speech: Individuals with HPD are likely to speak loudly and dramatically. Speech is generally impressionistic and lacking in detail. There are no expected deficits with speech initiation or vocabulary.
Thought process: In individuals with HPD, the thought process is expected to be linear but limited in range and logic. Individuals with HPD tend to be easily suggestible and can be easily persuaded from their thought processes to others around them.
Cognition: General cognition and orientation are not expected to be impaired in individuals with HPD.
Impulse control: Individuals with HPD have poor impulse control, which results in the engagement of many of their pathological behaviors.
Judgment: Judgment in individuals with HPD is poor.
Insight: HPD is egosyntonic, so individuals with HPD typically have poor insight into their condition and how their behaviors impact their social and occupational functioning.
submitted by TheMidnightGlob to paulbreachsnark [link] [comments]


2024.05.18 20:47 Mrmojorisin3991 Omeprazole causing anxiety also after withdrawal?

I'm 30M and I've been suffering with GERD/acid reflux for 4+ years now and I have been on all sorts of PPI medications over the years but nothing really has worked for me.
Long story short, I was advised by the doctor to start taking omeprazole again and for the past 2 weeks it has trigged severe panic attacks on two separate occasions. Last incident was a few days ago and it made me decide to cut off the medication as I'm usually a calm individual.
It's been 3 days now since I've stopped taking omeprazole and as a result I'm constantly anxious, feel unsettled and have not been eating much. Also worth highlighting my appetite has been very poor, I cannot feel any signs of hunger? I've been force feeding myself smaller meals but just having a tough time as of late.
Has anyone had anxiety going through withdrawals off Omeprazole and how did you overcome it?
Any positive feedback would be really appreciated. Thanks!
submitted by Mrmojorisin3991 to GERD [link] [comments]


2024.05.18 20:11 Ill_Cartographer3915 How long do withdrawals take? (no personal info)

it’s been a week. I still haven’t received the money.
submitted by Ill_Cartographer3915 to vinted [link] [comments]


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