Shoulder pain lump in throat

I’m 24f. I keep getting pea sized lumps in one armpit, only ever my left armpit, that come and go. I have one right now and had another one about a month ago. Before that the last time I had one was maybe in January. They are painful to touch and hurt to put my arm down. They usually last a few days, disappear and then come back a few weeks/months later. I’m not taking any medication and they don’t coincide with being sick. I have used the same deodorant for years and wash and exfoliate my armpits well.

Looking for advice on how to advocate for myself better or tests or referrals to ask for.
Me:
Almost 30 years old, female. Married, no children, full time self employed business ownehairstylist. Of English and Mediterranean descent. No significant history of alcohol use, no Marijuana use. Have not drank since 2020. No significant nicotene use, but smoked 1 to 3 cigarettes per day until 2021, switched to vaping the lowest concentration, quit nicotene in 2023. Generally healthy and balanced diet. 5'5", currently about 145lbs. 105/65 is normal resting BP, heart is high 50s to low 60s. No significant personal medical history aside from benign ovarian tumor resulting in emergency surgery due to torsion in 2017. Have had pelvic ultrasound within last 6 months, no findings. Normal abdominal CT. Have had two colonoscopies and an endoscopy due to GI issues, detailed below. PFT suggested mild asthma. GI Scopes found mild cell changes in lower esophagus, rectum, and chronic gastritis in stomach. Had MRI of brain which showed two small white matter hyperintensities. Normal echocardiogram, cardiac stress test showed elevated ejection fraction which may have been due to dehydration. Normal cardiac event monitor. I have some degenerative disc disease in my cervical and thoracic spine.
Blood panels usually show: - low- to low end of normal hemoglobin, potassium, sodium. - high end of normal levels of CO2 -high but not alarmingly high wbc (very high neutrophils but low lymphocytes) -thyroid (free t3 and t4) levels tend to swing from the 1.0's to almost 3.0 -estradiol low end of normal Have a normal ESR blood test, have not been given an ANA.
Symptoms include:
Sudden, crushing fatigue (have almost fallen asleep while standing and walking) Heart palpitations (both fast and slow, pounding ones) Sudden feelings of impending doom/death/panic Sudden lightheadedness and nausea Sudden bloating and diarrhea 5+ times a day Cystic acne, currently controlled with tretinoin (.025%) Migraines with aura, with or without headache (visual and sound distortions, cannot look at certain patterns (especially small stripes) or hear certain noises without feeling "out of sorts" Vertigo (feels like I'm falling or about to fall over) Extreme acid reflux that is never fully controlled even with Pantoprazole (burning is gone, regurgitation still a thing) Unexplainable weight fluctuations of up to 25 pounds within a couple months, both gain and loss. Random episodes of shortness of breath, rescue inhaler works typically. Sharp, stabbing pains and dull aches in rib cage, back, neck, and chest Sudden aching pains in arms and legs or skin will feel like patches of it are burning for a few minutes Unable to vigorously exercise or I will have what feels like an adrenaline dump and have a panic attack. Usually walking up to 3mph is fine but sometimes it isn't. Hypermobile joints which have resulted in many partial and full knee, shoulder, and finger dislocations, especially in teens and early 20s. I've always been very flexible. I do have TMJ.
***Also worth noting: Throughout 2018 and 2019, I'd have random days here and there where I would spike a fever and be in bed all day with flu like symptoms, if I went to the doctor my WBC count would be quite high, but either the next day or by the end of the day I'd be fine. This went on for about a year and a half. Then in late 2020, I got COVID and everything started or severely intensified about 6 months later. Continued to worsen until early 2022, then again in early 2023 after a series of very stressful events, and has stayed the same since. Most symptoms have been with me since childhood and intensified over the last few years to the point that some days I feel like I can barely function.
Family history of:
Mitral valve defects (both sides) DVT Heart attack Unstable angina Atrial fibrillation Renal failure Heart failure Type 2 diabetes Hypertension High cholesterol Colon cancer Hypothyroidism and Hyperthyroidism Reproductive cancers in men and women Anxiety Depression Bipolar disorder Substance use disorder Fibromyalgia Chronic fatigue syndrome Ulcerative colitis GERD PMDD

Don't come after me for my lingual mistakes, English isn't my mother language.
We started dating back in January 2019. He became my everything. My happiness, joy, euphoria... I was dealing with a lot of shit at home and tried to kms sometimes, and each time he tried to stop me and listened to me cry for days and weeks and months. At that time, I hadn't gotten my diagnosis, yet. I went to several therapy and one place even gave me a prescription for bipolar disorder, a mood stabilizer. At the same time, the tension between my parents and i reached another level of hatred and spite. I got kicked out of the house. I had/have no close friends. So I called him and took to the subway. I was so numb, I felt nothing and at the same time, I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. I stayed at his place for a while. And then moved to two other places until we finally decided to move in together. Better said, I moved into his apartment.
A little background: Keep in mind, that my parents behaviour was due to their religious and cultural background. I fked myself by trusting and telling my parents about my relationship with him. From that moment on, my father called me "carcinogen", "misery and shame bringer". My mother called me a whore, a prostitute... They blamed me for everything. Even if it was about their marriage, they blamed me. My mom told me always that I hated her, ever sense I was a newborn baby, cause I cried a lot and didn't let her go to gathering and enjoy her time. She kept on pushing this idea into my head. She talked shit behind him, which made me feel tormented. Because, whenever I met his mother, she treated me with so much respect. She treated him with so much love and acceptance. For example: he visited us once and it was already very late for him to leave, it was around 12 pm and my mom said in mocking tone: when will he leave? Does he think that this place is his dad's house? When I tried to tell him that he should leave, my mom insisted that he should stay. She fucked me up! She still behaves like a snake. I never felt any sort of emotional connection to her due to her behaviour. Long story short, when they kicked me out, they blamed me. They said, you always wanted to be independent so you left us on your own. We did. Nothing wrong. One night, I sat in my room and thought about my mom and his mom's behaviour. About how he was blessed with a mom who loves him unconditionally. I felt such a pain that I started cutting myself with a sharp object. I cried and cried. Called my friends and aunts and said goodbye. One of my friends called the police on me and they nearly broke the door on me. It was the first lowest point of my life. My therapist said she couldn't help me anymore.
Fast forward, when I moved into his apartment, I decided to get engaged to him to shut my parents up. They were always nagging about what people would think of an illegitimate relationship. That I would bring Shame upon the family. And that I would tarnish their reputation. I talked to him and his mom. He accepted it and his mom gave us her blessings. We went with The rituals. I wish I hadn't done it. From that day one, his behaviour changed, totally. He started doubting me. He said, he felt like he was raped mentally, because he didn't get engaged on his own terms but he did it for me and parents sake. He went through a hot-cold phase, couldn't handle simple criticism, didn't respect my boundaries... I was going through shit because of the trauma I was/am dealing with. I felt deep emptiness and loneliness. I longed for the love that I didn't receive from my parents. No amount of sex, kisses, hugs, gifts... Nothing can fulfill that hole inside my heart. He got tired of my sickness. My behaviour. My self harming. My anger and crying spells. Our relationship got cold. I was physically unable to have sex because I couldn't enjoy it and it hurt my body. I couldn't initiate physical contact. I loved him but I wasn't attracted to him anymore, partially because he kept on breaking my boundaries. He triggered me. I have a habit of biting my nails when I am stressed and I begged him so many time to stop biting his nail at least around me, cause I am trying to get rid of his habit. But as he likes to say: he forgot. His priorities are different. He had so many bad habits that went against my choices and morals. I felt distanced from him. Was he showing his true colours, now that I was in vulnerable position? Eventually, one night, he told me that he sees me as someone who has stolen his freedom because he can't date other women, have sex with them, experience all those things young people do. Tbh, I had that feeling for months. I fantasized about other guys. I don't know why this bothered me so much, now that he had told me his side of the story. But I rationalised it. I said to myself, hey this fair. You felt like this, so does he. The thing that broke me was that he told me that I wasn't good enough for him. That triggered me so much, I spiralled downward and failed an exam. I couldn't study. I couldn't sleep. I was so sick that I stabbed myself with a knife and was sent to a psychiatrist. There, I got my bps diagnosis. Started therapy, that my ex bf found for me. Each day, from the beginning of our relationship until two weeks ago, I apologised for my and my parents behaviour, for putting him under so much turmoil and stress. I felt shame and hatred towards myself. I hated myself so much that. I was truly toxic. I hurt myself physically, beat my pets, pulled my hair, had lost the track of time... I had turned into a corpse. He was my everything, I stood against my parents and sacrificed my comfort and happiness to be with him. His voice echoes in my head, you're not enoug, you're not good enough for me.
Time passed and I somehow managed to pass atleast one Moodle. One day, my ex and I fought over a boundary he had stepped over. He told me to talk to myself or someone. And upon doing so, I realised that I wasn't the only one who brought stress and conflict into this relationship. I wrote everything he had down and the boundaries he had broken and tike that he had disrespected... It was an eye opening moment. I realised that he used manipulation to make his mistakes appear harmless and funny. He stonewalled me each time I wanted to talk about serious problems. I tried to bring awareness but he wasn't listening. He used bod diagnosis against me and said that I'm being childish and over dramatic. He kept on insisting that I was lying to him. We had discussed this matter for two years and talked about respecting boundaries for four years. That was the moment, I had to make a choice and leave him. I no longer want to be responsible for his life choices. I long for a connection with him, but with each passing day, I realise that it won't work out. I can't get over his bad habits and he doesn't try to salivate this relationship. I told him to put a hiatus/ breakup and work on ourselves on our own. We will meet eachother later along to line and see, whether we will be compatible to eachother or not. At the mean time, he can date or sleep with anyone he wants as he desired freedom. I am thankful for the good things he brought to my life, but I can't ignore the bad ones for the sake of good ones. I wonder what will happen next.
Sorry for the long ass text. But tbh this is only a fraction of things that have happened to me.

First Previous
"Heather has feathers but heath has teeth."
"Captain Hobbs!"
From above, Arran looks like a paradise, rich and green with ample water and perfect for settlement, it's only when you are on the ground that you understand why life had a hard time springing up here. Some time in the distant past, volcanic activity rose up from several specific areas of the planet and created an environment suitable for cyanobacteria which produced oxygen but can also make soils alkaline rich which happened on several distant worlds such as Earth. The volcanic activity on Arran produced great clouds, prevented an earth like environment to a certain degree but life began to rise from the planet, struggling with rocky terrain as well as acidic water, but refusing to gve up. Eventually plant life adapted to the conditions of the planets atmosphere creating a world of deep forests, fertile grasslands and bogs similar to the one Captain Hobbs had led his troops into.
Robert took his time walking through the field, letting himself calm down as the men pulled each other from the mire. He understood that it would take time and effort to adapt to this new world and had relied on the wisdom Brian McMurray had shared with him, regarding Arran, but it had already been two weeks since the furlough had ended and training had gone nowhere. Picking two plant stems, he approached The soggy Captain and his now exhausted and mud caked company.
"Let's review." Robert said tiredly, holding up the two stems.
"I don't do plants Robert." Hobbs said defiantly. "I get it and I remember it. Heather is higher than heath and heath grows on higher ground. Heather blooms in winter and heath blooms in summer, but none of that matters when the terrain is still shit."
"Heather blooms in summer..." Robert said, trying to hold back his frustration.
"Its spring asshole!" Hobbs interrupted. "The whole planet is a swamp and navigating it is going to be a pain in the ass. What isn't occupied for farming or goats is full of trees, mountains and mud."
"What would you suggest Hobbs?!" Robert shot back.
"I'd suggest you need to get laid again." Hobbs retorted.
Robert balled up a fist to strike Hobbs, but he let the anger and frustration go instead. Captain Hobbs had a point, the easiest land was occupied by agriculture and the moorland was too soft for most normal infantry tactics. A file could navigate well enough but a wedge formation would inevitably find a soft spot and both provided easy pickings for anyone paying attention. The mountains were equally difficult to navigate for their own reasons and the forests of the planet were damn near impenetrable.
"Round them up and head back Hobbs." Robert said defeated.
"What ever you sau, SIR!" Hobbs replied mockingly.
Robert dismissed the other companies in the same manner, none of them had faired well in the soupy terrain. The 449th made their way back to where their coaches had been parked, but Robert lingered a while longer, watching them load up and head back to town on the coaches. Things had changed in their short time on Arran, he felt distant from his men, like a chasm had formed between him and them, and the feeling he had let them down too many times weighed heavily on his shoulders as he starting his long walk back to Brodick.
/////
"Welcome back Colonel." Scarlet said brightly.
The local star had begun to set when Robert arrived. Clouds were painted in soft pastel colors by the falling star, further highlighting Robert's dark mood. He was thankful that the Laird had left the planet recently for a conference and wouldn't be back for a few more days, perhaps he could turn things around before the Laird returned. In his stead, he had left Scarlet and the butler who had suffered his abominable attitude. He would have to make it up to them soon.
"I take it training didn't go well today either?"
At first impression, the Butler of the MacSweeney estate always seemed to be in afoul mood, but nothing was further from the truth. His stoic disposition and rigid bearing was the result of a few years in the Terran Marines, but he preferred to be called Dean and shared his life freely over a finger or two of the local scotch when he was off duty. He hadn't been blessed with a wife or children, but made up for it by being a father figure to the staff.
"Thanks Dean," Robert replied, "it hasn't been a good day and I was wondering if I could pick your brain."
Dean's normally strait face cracked a little and he let out a small chuckle.
"Asking a butler for military advice? You must be desperate." He quipped.
"Asking a Marine what I'm doing wrong as an officer." Robert corrected. "A drink would be nice as well."
Dean led Robert into the staff dining room and produced a bottle of whiskey, pouring a glass for both of them.
"What seems to be the trouble?" Dean asked, holding out a glass for Robert.
"I don't know really." Robert confided. "I almost hit Hobbs today out of frustration and I don't feel like I'm a part of the unit as much as I used to."
Dean took a sip of the whiskey and rolled it around for a moment before swallowing. "May I ask why you almost struck a subordinate?"
"He can't figure out the difference between heather hand heath." Robert replied before knocking back his own glass.
"Couldn't stay out of the bog." Dean said. "Do you know that they are different?"
Robert looked at Dean with suspicion. "They look alike from a distance, but when you look closely they have a lot of differences."
"Heath is an Erica but heather is Calluna Vulgaris." Dean stated. "It was confusing for the early botanists on earth as well who thoughtthey were the same species for a long time." Dean said. "From a distance most people assume they're the same plant with the same needs. Heaths and Heathers native to this world require different things. If you were to clump them all into a single pot some would die."
"Why do I have the feeling this isn't about plants?" Robert asked.
"Because it isn't" Dean said before finishing his glass. "All of you have been clumped together for so long that even you think your all the same, and treating them like they are the same as you is already showing signs of trouble."
"Have any suggestions?" Robert asked as Dean emptied the bottle into the glasses.
"Two suggestions. First i would advise that you empty that glass." Dean said.
Robert did as he was advised, draining the glass in one go.
"I believe you have your men's ranks and positions in order correct?" Dean asked.
"For the most part." Robert replied.
"Would you be so kind as to retrieve them?" Dean requested.
"Sure, but.... whats the other thing?" Robert inquired.
Dean held up the empty bottle.
"It appears we are out of scotch."

Has anyone had the issue that subluxations and injuries that aren't as severe as an actual tear or dislocation not showing up on imaging like ultra sounds and X-rays? Links to peer reviewed medical journal articles on imaging and EDS/HSD or other connective tissue disorders are welcome!
I'm thinking that baring an actual tear, our soft tissue is thin to begin with so it won't show damage unless there's an actual tear or the joint is still dislocated (not after a dislocation or sublux is put back in joint). I'm basing this on the story below and I'm open to comments about my current issue.
For the story context my mom and I have thin eye tissue. We're both finally diagnosed with hEDS

• She has had retinal tears and is blind (can still read large print with her right eye), and I had surgery for a hole in my right retina.
• In 2006 I went in to Emerg at a university teaching hospital with eye pain. This was almost two decades before we had an hEDS diagnosis.
• The attending Opthomologist put in the contrast drops that turn corneal scratches green.
• So of course my entire cornea went green. "Well I've never seen that before!" he said.
• Then he tried the eye that didn't hurt. That also went completely green
• Then ... the typical thing we hear as zebras "That's interesting! Can I bring in the medical students?" lol. He was really nice and actually listened to me so I said yes.

Current issue:
Most of my injuries and chronic issues are lower body and/or to my right side. Left side upper body is only recent. My left shoulder blade has subluxed twice from my spine in the past year.

• The first time was from having to stand for hours when I should have been sitting at a part-time job. I put so much pressure on my cane from being incredibly dizzy that the subluxation happened. (It's a long rant of a story and I'm no longer working there.)
• My awesome family doctor (PCP/GP) ordered imaging. Nothing showed up on either the X-ray (she was concerned about a hairline fracture) or the ultra sound. Yet I had hugely reduced function and was at at 7 to 9 on my pain scale most days (10 is passing out, 9 was a major car accident).
• About three weeks ago I unplugged my AC and subluxed the same joint again. Think it qualifies as a 9.5 because I did pass out on the couch about 15 minutes afterwards.
• I have a phone doctor's appointment next week followed by an in person the next day. I have an overdue script for a neck x-ray (yup that's unstable), so I'm thinking of getting my shoulder blade/back imaged as well.

I'm thinking that baring an actual tear, our soft tissue is thin to begin with so it won't show damage - just like my corneas don't, because that damage is everywhere. (Like a website with white text on an almost white background.)
I'm getting my first custom titanium wheelchair soon (the application is in the works). I know that to get any additions or changes in the future, including a SmartDrive power assist there must be a clinical justification. It's helpful to be either able to document injuries that can be seen on imaging or have a justification why those injuries can't be seen on imaging.
Any medical journal articles are welcome! I have a science degree with human anatomy and physiology with cadaver lab, plus work/life experience so I can read them.

30m and have been lurking on here since I first started twitching 7 months ago. I just wanted to share my experience, although I do fear I will be very long winded...TLDR I got really anxious, body started acting really weird, focused on physical/mental improvements, started feeling better!
I think this story will sound quite familiar for everyone on here...after a period of inactivity I began experiencing unfamiliar physical sensations that started ringing alarm bells in my head. I had lingering shoulder pain for no discernible reason that was radiating down my arm and giving tingles into my neck area. When this hung around for a couple of months, I made a visit to my GP and they paid it no mind. As it started getting worse, our old friend Dr. Google of course was telling me that this is MS. The feeling of numbness started spreading and I basically was melting down for the entire winter over this. A family friend who is a neurologist recommended finding a colleague of his locally just to check that box and move on.
As this was all peaking, I started to notice a squirming feeling in the arch of my foot, along with tightness/cramping along my entire leg. This eventually settled into pretty constant foot twitches and pain across my entire foot. I was continuing to shut down and those around me were quite aware that something was wrong with me. I agreed of course, and was insisting it was a neurological problem. They then agreed with that, and that the problem was my anxiety.
I finally had my appointment with the neurologist in February and he identified zero issues during his clinical exam. He did order an EMG on my arm due to the length of time that the shoulder issue was lingering. It was of course completely clean, and he couldn't have been less interested concerning my foot/leg. I showed him a video of my foot spasming, and he remarked "that is as relevant of a symptom to there being a major issue as your eyes being brown." He said to see an orthopedic doctor and that I won't need to see a neurologist for at least 40 years.
This offered temporary relief, and my shoulder started feeling better. But as that was happening, the twitches started spreading all over. First it moved across to my other foot, and then up my calves into my lower thigh near my knees. I started freaking out again. The foot pain was persisting, so I visited the orthopedic doctor. They couldn't really identify any sort of problem and referred me to a neurophysiologist to perform an EMG on my legs.
As I waited patiently for the month to pass until that appointment, I decided that I needed to have a mentality shift with this situation. It was time to focus on the things that I can control, which is both my physical activity and mental health. I started working with a physical therapist and also a CBT therapist. Both have been invaluable! I started seeing physical improvement and continued to push myself exercise wise. I made it a point of emphasis to walk at least 2.5 miles every day and to resume pickup basketball/golfing. I made big strides with my therapist and they ended up referring me to a psychiatrist. Eventually an SSRI was recommended and that has been a big help as well.
The EMG date came, and even though I had started feeling better, I was extremely nervous. My twitches were very wide spread (foot, calf, knee, thigh, butt, abs, neck, biceps, triceps, forearm, and hands) and still causing me distress. The EMG was completely clean with zero findings, which of course everyone predicted.
It has been a month since then, and I'm feeling the best I have physically and mentally in 2 years. I'm still twitching all over, mostly in my legs, but it has been reduced by quite a margin. I have no interest in going back to see any doctors for quite some time. This twitching stuff is so distressing at first and the periods of uncertainty/confusion are legitimately traumatizing. I just felt that it was really important to share a positive story for others that are still in that period of time.
Please feel free to reach out if you ever want to talk, and focus on improving the things that are within your control!

I don’t even know how to describe what’s wrong honestly. I just don’t feel quite right and am concerned is maybe the best way I can think to describe it bc I’m not really in pain but I have a certain degree of discomfort and my abdomen can feel mild pain sometimes particularly when laying on my side or bending over and occasionally I do get a bit of pain. I guess 1 of the best ways to describe it might be that I have tenderness and a bloated feeling in my abdomen, or a feeling of pressure. I think I’ve generally felt this way for several weeks with significant fatigue but I think it’s gotten more substantial recently especially today to the point where today I’m now urinating like every half hour or more frequently. I’m a bit concerned about kidney failure now or something related to my kidneys. Earlier today at the advice of my friend I was concerned about Type 1 Diabetes so I went to an urgent care facility and when they asked me what’s wrong I didn’t know what to say and said I might be interested in doing a diabetes screening and described the symptoms of frequent urination and tenderness in the abdomen. They told me that I needed a doctors order in order to run lab tests (that they can’t just test without me seeing a doctor 1st and a doctor ordering it which Idrg bc don’t they have doctors at that facility that can order them 🤷‍♂️) so I went home and scheduled a doctors appointment for Friday. I won’t get into it much here but that seems silly to me that I can’t just decide to have lab tests done to see what might be going on with me. Idk how urgent this might be and the thought of waiting more days for something that could have been done today is a bit frustrating and scary to me but I guess that’s my fault for not keeping up with my regular physicals and bloodwork and for waiting to see a doctor for so long after having the notion months ago that something feels a little off.
Uhm so, idk what to expect tbh. I’m worried about everything from Kidney problems to a urinary tract infection to a bacterial infection to pre diabetes or something (although I guess it’s probably not that but I wouldn’t really know). There’s no history of diabetes in my family afaik. Uhm I don’t eat a lot of sugar.
1 strange theory I have that I want to mention is that I’m concerned it could have to do with Grapefruit juice. I drink about at least 12 oz. of Florida’s natural Ruby Red Grapefruit juice everyday and have for years. I’m particularly concerned about the grapefruit juice after reading this:
https://ibb.co/7gD8DwK https://ibb.co/KGNBsYG https://ibb.co/gmpPKvF https://ibb.co/b1rxCBC
“Grapefruit juice can cause kidney failure in some people due to its high potassium content People with kidney infections should be cautious because their kidneys may not be able to filter out excess potassium, which can be life-threatening.”
“Grapefruit can also cause kidney toxicity, also known as nephrotoxicity, which can lead to kidney failure and damage. Other side effects of grapefruit juice on the kidneys include: • Muscle breakdown: When grapefruit is used with certain statins, it can cause abnormal and potentially serious muscle breakdown. The FDA reports that this risk can lead to kidney failure. • Liver damage: The FDA reports that this risk can lead to kidney failure. • Neurological side effects: The Mayo Clinic reports that these include confusion and memory lOss. However, grapefruit also contains a flavonoid called naringenin, which regulates a protein that decreases growths related to kidney cysts. A 2014 study by scientists at Royal Holloway, University of London, found that naringenin can prevent kidney cysts from forming.”
Uhm just laying down writing this now I think just realized I may be able to feel slight pain or pressure or bloating in my back which I read earlier today is sign of a kidney problem.
Idk what to do and am just a little scared and concerned I guess about waiting.
Medications I take include methadone daily at 29 mgs in the mornings.
I intake nicotine pretty heavily through a vaporizer.
What other information should I include uhm, I’m a 5’7” male, 28 years old, I weigh about 135 - 140 lbs, probably on the lower end rn but idrk.
Yeah idk my abdomen just feels weird in a way I’ve never experienced before and like tense and like pressure and I feel like I don’t want to bend over or twist it.
I think I might have a tonsil stone (Bc of a large white growth in my throat most visible when I shine a flashlight in my mouth down my throat) and possibly a skin / staph infection on another part of the body but that’s probably an unrelated issue. I only say that bc I have a boil looking skin bump on my rear. And that I’ve heard those can be staph infections. And I suppose I’m worried about that having possibly spread.
Sorry for being so thorough with possibly unrelated stuff. I just want to include as much information as possible bc idk what might be important in ways I don’t understand.
Uhm if I think of anything else I’ll post it in the comments. But yeah I just don’t feel great man, like I felt a bit nauseated and a bit ill this morning for a short while. I’ve felt extremely fatigued for weeks now sleeping an extremely excessive amount and rn walking around writing this I just feel a tension in my abdomen and sides and just torso / lower torso? Idk just torso in general. I really just don’t know how to describe it. Even my heart and arms sometimes kind of ache a bit recently. Idk even legs or limbs occasionally feel an ache that idk could just be anything. Maybe I’m getting a bit hypochondriac.
I don’t know what to think.
Thanks a lot for any time. I’m sorry I wrote so much. Nobody likes a kiss ass but I’ll say it anyway, I have great respect for the profession of healthcare provider. Like in a bit of a religious sense I think that kind of helping people in some of their worst moments and most needy and weak moments is admirable in a way almost nothing else is.
Think I might go back to a facility and try to see someone 1 more time or at least talk to them a bit more and explain better bc my family is encouraging me to. I don’t want to bother them unnecessarily though especially if I caused this and it’s some strange obscure phenomenon. Idk that’s all.

Data-Miner Gego stared at the results of the analysis, still in disbelief that this wild theory had borne fruit and stood up to scrutiny again and again. But now, here before him in data as clear as even the youngest apprentice could see, was evidence, clear and unshakable:
Humans were not what they promised themselves to be.
Feeling slightly nauseous with anxiety, he keyed in a request to meet with the diplomat’s office as soon as possible.
As the diplomat looked over his latest treaty proposal, there was a faint sound of horns in harmonious blaring, signifying someone had requested permission to enter. Glad for any distraction from the monotonous paperwork, he activated the intercom, saying “You are recognized and accepted. Please enter.”
As the crouched and scrabbling shape stepped into the doorway, diplomat Hale-he mused again how interesting it would be if the if their ancestors could have heard such a magnificent call for a mere diplomat. Previously, such a grand instrumentation would have been reserved for a high chieftain or king, and yet here was Hale-he, a diplomat to be sure, but certainly no ruler of any stripe, heralded by a song that would bring envy even to high lords and minor rulers in ages past.
The individual sat before him, and Hale-he could tell by their coloration and the shape of their antenna they were a scientist or engineer, someone likely far more familiar with numbers than he was. Hale-he, while now taking on the rich purple hues of a diplomat, had the underlying color of brilliant crimson, a mark of his near-decade of study as a historical scholar and graduate before his appointment into diplomacy.
“What do you have for me? Gego, I believe?”
The other individual nodded, crossing his pinchers in a sign of deference and respect. “I am sorry to disturb your appointment, but I have important information regarding humans.”
“Ah yes, humans,” said Hale-he, feeling a degree of relaxation and comfort at the mention of the gregarious and affable people.
Humans had taken quite some time in venturing out to the stars, but their planet was located such that a number of major trade routes passed quite near to their system. Several species had reported contact with them before humans had in turn reached out and started to make contact of their own. But from all reports, they were kind, clever, and selfless to a fault, with no recent instances of conflict despite a very violent early history. They were renowned for having an impeccable record of interspecies relations.
“I'm actually in the process of framing a new trade treaty with some of their inner-system human colonies. I believe the primary planet in question is called Mars, but they also have gas refineries and extractors above their gas giants, and several mining operations set up on a number of moons and their asteroid belt.”
“Yes, I have seen the newscast about how much this treaty is expected to aid both species,” said Gego. There was an odd note of apprehension Hale-he could detect in their chittering voice. “There is some invaluable context that I believe needs to be put to light.”
“Context? What do you mean, ‘context?’”
“Well, you are aware that we, the Civicor, first met humanity when a trade ship fell off course and crashed upon Earth?”
“It is a well-known accident. Some manner of navigational mishap; Thankfully, our propulsion systems are far more accurate today.”
“This is true, but are you also aware the Bayons have a remarkably-similar story related to their first contact with humanity as well? A military scout vessel, intending to regroup with the bulk of their fleet and engaging the Dendite menace, and they were likewise drawn off course, spiraling to crash onto Earth as well.”
“I remember the stories that time hypothesized that it was Dendite sabotage, even though it was unlikely for such a minor and inconsequential vessel,” said Hale-he. “Other than that, I’m unfortunately not familiar with their own reports on it.”
“But our two species are but a few from over a dozen first-contact reports with humanity. All stemming from engine failures, navigation failures, and crashes or forced landings of ships that lost control and arrived on Earth.”
“Well,” said the diplomat, starting to see the shape of the data-miner’s point, “Warpspace travel.has always been an inexact science at times, and was even less accurate decades ago. It's possible you are reading too much into a handful of coincidences.”
The data-miner rubbed their eyestalks, feeling exhaustion creeping in for how much frantic effort they had put in over the past three-day cycle. “Yes, but to borrow an idiom for the humans, ‘Once is happenstance, twice is coincidence, but three times is a pattern,’ let alone a solid dozen instances within barely a fifty-year timespan. Even the most heavily-trafficked routes past the most dense or erratic planetoids have only achieved a third of that number.”
“You're asking me to disrupt peaceful and productive diplomatic ties with humans by suggesting they were responsible for these instances. Are you truly suggesting that this was intentional from humanity's part?”
“I am.”
“That may be, but we will require more proof than mere happenstance, unlikely though it may be.”
“I have additional data as well.” Gego was the most proud of this next part, and he carefully pulled up the diagrams and charting maps. A vibrant animation appeared onscreen of what appeared to be a rainbow-colored and spiked disc, surging and shaking on the screen. “This is the analysis of the gravitational field irregularities within a quarter of a solar year of Earth's primary star.”
The diplomat looked nonplussed at the diagram. “I would assume the fluctuations here are not ideal?”
“No indeed. They could be likened to a reef within a shallow sea, permitting transit in the calm regions but damaging and disrupting ships passing through a rough space. I have reached out to several of the shipping guilds for more details, but initial reports back support this theory, with several commenting that the route passing near to Earth is highly undesirable amongst experienced pilots due to the rough effects it has on engine stability and wear and tear.”
The diplomat looked over the diagram further before attempting to wave it away dismissively. “But who’s to say that this isn't a natural phenomena of Earth’s system? There are many regions of space that are disruptive or dangerous to travel through in warpspace, so what would make Earth's patch of turbulence unique?”
“The fact that they can turn it on and off at will.”
The diplomat coughed violently as the surprise dislodged the piece of fruit pulp he was eating out of his primary digestion sack and instead into the top of his gas exchange organ. “What in the three spheres do you mean they can turn it off?”
Gego grimaced this time as he keyed in some commands to the report. This time the disc figure that was pulled was much grainier and blocky, fine measurements now showing as wide swaths. “This was reverse-calculated from a series of gravimetric scans done across that entire arm of the galaxy.”
Even with the poor resolution, the diplomat could still see that this was a wildly chaotic and dangerous gravitational field. “It looks the same.”
The data-miner nodded. “Yes, but watch here: It's hard to tell, but this readout is actually playing in reverse, stepping backwards through time. We're about to hit 76 years ago.”
“What's so important about 76-” The diplomat cut off, words caught like fruit pulp in his throat as the image abruptly stilled. The disc depicting the gravitational field was now still and smooth as a windless pond.
“So it just started one day?”
“Indeed, Diplomat Hale-he. And furthermore, this beginning of the turbulence was a mere month before the first vessel lost controlI and was forced to make an emergency landing on Earth.”
The possibilities were rapidly narrowing, but Hale-he was still in favor of exploring whatever possible shred he could find to avoid confronting the dawning reality about humans.
“Well, while things of this nature are highly irregular, I presume, I'm still not convinced that this shows they can activate it at will.”
“I know, Gego said, “Which is why I wanted to show you that data before I show you this.”
The gravitational field display became the ragged tumultuous ocean of currents and surges, and this time in the higher detail that told Hale-he this was more recent readings. “I'm sure you saw the announcements a fortnight ago that humanity had tested their first faster than light engine they had made themselves, rather than trading for, and successfully made a jaunt out to the furthest planetoid in their star system and back without incident?”
“Yes?” the diplomat said cautiously.
“I received this data from a colleague, who was concerned there may have been an instrument malfunction to produce such data as I’m about to show you. She checked and validated it herself. It was fully accurate and reliable, which makes it all the more troubling. I don't think she realized the cause of what she was seeing, but unfortunately the timing of it adds up too perfectly.”
The data-miner continued quietly recalling “I believe at this point we're at 30 seconds to launch the human’s test flight.”
Hale-he let out an involuntary gasp of breath as the gravity field abruptly stilled again, perfectly smooth simultaneously across the entire spread of it.
Grimly, the data-miner said “Here we had the jump,” and after a short pause continued “-and the return.” A few seconds later and the field abruptly resumed its turbulence.
The diplomat was still in shock, staring at the gravimetric readout, when Gego said “That's also not the most concerning part, either. This was supposed to be humanity's first faster-than-light capability of their own they were testing here; Isn't that right?”
“Well of course,” replied Hale-he. “It was on all the new stations. A great achievement for a species that had been slow to achieve that milestone.”
“I would remind you then that the readout here is half a light-year in diameter.”
The diplomat scrunched his eyestalks in confused concentration, trying to understand what the other alien was implying, when suddenly it hit him. “Yet they were able to disrupt such a large region simultaneously, and stop it equally quickly?”
Gego nodded. “Whatever means they have at causing such a disruption is certainly faster-than-light, and immensely wide-ranging. If it was slower and confined to a small area, I might have some theories as to how it could be accomplished, but this size, this scale and the speed? I have no idea. It is beyond anything our sciences and technology can produce, or that of any other known species.”
The diplomat sat back, stunned. “By the Spheres.” He glanced up at Gego. “What do you propose we do with this information?”
The data-miner waved an arm. “Perhaps we can get to the bottom of this: Go to humanity with the information we have. Tell them we want the secrets of this technology and the power sources that feed it, as it far eclipses anything we can currently achieve. Tell them that we will expose these findings to the rest of the space-faring civilizations of the galaxy if they continue to hold back.”
The diplomat’s eyes widened, before after a long moment he said “I see. Well, I still need to get to my duties and figure out how to handle this. You are excused, and a reminder to keep the strictly confidential while I inform the appropriate other parties.”
Gego bowed in deference before leaving the office. After he left, Hale-he leaned back in his saddle chair and groaned. The idiot had uncovered humanity possessed the capability of affecting a wide chunk of space at a power and complexity unheard of among any other known species, and his first suggestion was to blackmail them? The diplomat rubbed his head trying to make the sudden headache go away.
A few thoughts were coming to mind, snippets that had been dismissed in the moment, but now he couldn't shake them as he was reminded of the first species that had ever encountered humanity, and the comments by their scientists. They had said that humans were curiously disinterested in their warpspace drivers, despite not having faster-than-light capabilities already.
Then the second species that encountered humanity had mentioned that a child of one of the diplomatic party had become separated from the group, and accidentally come in contact with and ingested some Earth flora. It wasn't something toxic or dangerous to humans, but the physiological makeup of that species reacted poorly with alkaloids in the flora and would have resulted in a swift and painful death if left untreated. But instead, the humans had administered a series of emetics and alkaloid-binding treatments, something they said was common in the case of an accidental poison ingestion, The diplomat remembered reading a footnote from the inhuman physician at the time that this particular blend of neutralizing agents was not something commonly found in human medical kits, and in fact was uniquely suited to their own species’ biology.
Both had been written off as flukes, interesting anecdotes at most, but now the diplomat began to see the greater shape of it, as a species that cared not for faster-than-light travel, for they'd doubtless already achieved it, mastered it, and discarded it as uninteresting at some point before. A species, who upon supposed first contact, had comprehensive medical and anatomical knowledge of their guests sufficient enough to save a child in mere minutes from otherwise certain death.
All this from a species that had befriended and gregariously hosted every alien ship that had come astray upon their planet, and offered nothing but support and friendship to both waylaid travelers and their subsequent diplomatic summits, despite seeming to lack the ability to travel outside of their own star system. A species that was confident, at a basal level that Hale-he was only just now beginning to truly understand.
He opened a communications missive, addressed to all the other diplomats of similar station amongst the other species humanity had made contact with.
”Greetings to my fellow ambassadors. * *I come bearing difficult news regarding humanity: * *They are not what they appear to be. * *Yet, I believe it is of the utmost importance that we continue to pretend that they are, * *For fear that otherwise, we will learn who, or what, they truly are…”
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Chapter 168 – The moment to live and the moment to die
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„Jumping!“ an Ensign announced loudly as the Sun's view-windows very briefly flickered into a dark black only to go back to a full view of the ongoing battle basically instantly, having barely shifted the ship's position at incomprehensible speed. „Shot clear of allied ships.“
Vice-Admiral Kazadi tapped his finger on one of the armrests of the Commander's seat that still felt anything but comfortable for him to sit in as the tight grid of flashing lights reflected in his eyes within the twilight of the bridge.
“Fire,” he then ordered. Not even a blink later, a burst of colorful light broke into his view from the side of his very own ship, lighting up the entirety of the bridge even through the automatically tinting windows that absorbed a lot of the harmful light so the crew wouldn't flashbang themselves with each shot.
The relativity canon fire tore through the enemy ship at an almost literal instant with any travel time barely being conceivable to a mortal mind. In a large unload of energy that left almost the entire stern-side of the zodiatos ship as a molten mass of dispersing slag, the main propulsion was taken out. Simultaneously, the two accompanying cruisers had also taken their shots; with the 'Civil' taking out the engine of one more enemy vessel while the 'of the roses' had instead used its shot to disperse one of the enemy projectiles in order to buy their own hunter ships more freedom of movement. Those huge ones didn't go down easy from one of the hunters' smaller shots, so using one of the large canons to dispatch it took some of the heat off them.
Meanwhile, smaller targets on the enemy vessels, such as their own canons, were gradually taken out by said hunters, whose own fire – while able to be quite destructive if intended no doubt – could be used in a far more precise manner. With more and more of their canons failing, the protective volleys the coreworld terrorists could fire to hide themselves away also became less and less effective.
“Send the fallback-beacon,” Kazadi then ordered, since close quarter attacks became less and less necessary.
It seemed that the zodiatos had a hard time adjusting to the combat style of the human unkindnesses, however that didn't mean they should take any unnecessary risks. Even if a pilot could've been able to avoid all enemy attacks in a perfect world, he knew that his pilots were only human.
Casualties of their own had been comparatively minimal so far, however as if to prove him right about his thoughts, he could see on his surveillance screen how, just in that moment, one of their ships was taken out by an enemy craft.
He grimaced to himself and let out a mild sigh. One more family who would never see one of their own again...
It took a moment before all the ships were reached by the beacon. Due to the nature of their own combat strategies, as well as the particular nature of hyperspace, it was entirely impossible to effectively contact any of their ships directly while they were out in the battle. Therefore, the order to fall back had to be broadcast as a general signal, that each of the pilots could individually pick up as soon as they would keep still for long enough so that it could reach them.
By now, the battle was already won. None of the zodiatos' weapons were able to match the relativity canons in effective range and without the larger ships to back them up, their small hunters wouldn't be able to launch an offensive – shields or not. They could just stay back and fire until surrender now. As the signal was picked up, one of their ships after another disappeared in one last flash of hyperspace as they joined back up with the larger vessels in an enclosing formation.
“Prepare for the retrieval of some of those projectiles,” the Vice-Admiral then ordered as he hoped they would be able to track some of those spent shots their enemies had fired. They would have to figure out what kind of tech that was.
In such a small-scale conflict, it was more than manageable to face it. However, it could offer some difficulties in larger fleets – especially since they didn't know how far this kind of tech could possible be expanded and refined. It was quite possible this was just some form of prototype.
While that order was followed, one of his Lieutenants suddenly spoke up.
“Sir, we have an incoming transmission from the planet. Civilian. Not encrypted, but they seemingly had an access code,” they related quickly.
“Is the earlier interference cleared up?” he immediately asked back, to which the answer was positive. “Put it through then,” he immediately ordered as soon as he heard that.
He rubbed one of his tight braids between his fingers as he waited for contact to be established. Once the line was clear, things remained quiet for a moment.
“What are we best at?” he then asked the silent line, his chest tightening ever so slightly, even if he didn't have to wait long for a reply.
“Topping from the bottom,” a very familiar voice replied from the other end, sounding incredibly strained but most certainly alive.
The code phrase was an old in-joke about something that had been said back during humanity's first contact with the tonamstrosites due to a slightly choppy translation. However, it more than sufficed here to tell Kazadi that the person on the other side of the line was not only genuine, but also not in any immediate distress – at least none that was brought onto her by someone else.
“Good to hear your voice Ma'am,” he greeted the Admiral after taking a brief moment to allow his heart to settle.
“The pleasure is all mine, Celestin,” Admiral Krieger replied in between heavy breaths that sounded like a combination between being ready to collapse and absolutely willing to tear anyone's throat out at a moment's notice. “Excuse me for the unorthodox contact, my own means of communication have all been destroyed. Update me.”
A brief smile played on the Vice-Admiral's lips.
“No problem, Ma'am. Things are under control up here, but multiple allied coluyvoree ships were destroyed and we suffered some casualties of our own which I will take full responsibility for,” he quickly complied. “By now, the enemy crafts have been largely disabled and our fighters are falling back. What's the situation on your end?”
There was a bit of a grunt from the other side of the line that seemed unrelated to the ongoing conversation.
“I'm sure you did everything by the books,” Krieger then replied a moment later. “Down here the situation is precarious but momentarily under control. We have an unconfirmed number of casualties after an attack with an unknown weapon. All squads are either KIA or unresponsive. We took down six enemy combatants but can't confirm if there's more. I'm going to need clean up, rescue teams, as well as pickup for me and two large offworlders asap.”
Celestin nodded.
“We're in a stable position, so we'll jump teams down right away. Hold out just a minute more,” he assured her while already signing in the necessary order to the troops they had on standby. “How bad are your injuries?”
There was another groan of pain from Krieger's side.
“Crushed cranberries,” she replied after a long moment that sounded like she needed to catch her breath.
“Copy that,” Kazadi replied with a grimace. “Sending muti-team with the evac.”
“Copy that,” Krieger confirmed. “Krieger out.”
With that, the call was hung up. On his screen, Celestin could see how the preparations for dispatch of the requested teams was already well underway. Jumping towards a planet at FTL was generally discouraged by the Galactic Community. However, this was an emergency. They couldn't wait for normal re-entry.
After watching the reported progress for just a moment, his eyes returned to the ongoing battle. He watched the enemy ships as they hovered dead in space, unable to maneuver.
They seemed to have recalled their own fighters back in order to form some sort of protective wall around the 'mother ships' with their own small shields. Obviously it wouldn't be very effective, so it seemed like needless cruelty to make their own soldiers get in the way of the incoming fire. Something within Kazadi told the Vice-Admiral they weren't going to stand down.
“Sir, we're getting some strange hyperspace-readings,” his Lieutenant suddenly announced, making him look up.
“Weapon-grade?” he immediately asked, knowing they had less than a moment to react if it was. However, he also figured there would've been more urgency to their voice had it been so.
“No, Sir. Travel-grade,” the Lieutenant quickly replied. “However the readings are unusual. It seems like they are creating a stretch solely around themselves.”
Kazadi's lips shifted a bit as he took that in and he briefly ran a hand over his mouth in thought. “Prepare to collapse,” he ordered. “Maybe they will attempt some sort of running start. We can't let them get away.”
Right then, the light of what was happening had not yet caught up to the spacial distortion that their sensors were detecting, meaning the ships still looked perfectly normal – if damaged – when he looked at them. However, they were planning something. And that made them appear all the more ominous.
His mind quickly went through their own protocols. The U.H.S.D.F. employed hyperspace in nearly all its possible facets in their tactics. If it was even close to sensible, they would have something that was akin to the maneuver their foes were attempting to execute right now.
A bubble of hyperspace solely around their ships...a dodge? Hardly, there was nothing to dodge like that. An attempt to hide away? No, they knew human ships could collapse hyperspace from the outside easily.
Before him, the windows of the ship once again automatically dimmed, protecting the crew's eyes as the colorful light of the created hyperspace-bubble finally reached them.
“Hyperspace collapsed!” the Lieutenant then suddenly announced, causing Kazadi to blink in surprise as his eyes shot up to his screen. He hadn't given any order to collapse it yet. But indeed, it was gone. For a moment, he thought that the stress had caused his officer to use the wrong term in haste, however no, they had been completely right. It had not been dispersed in a controlled manner. It had collapsed.
In a mild 'thud', the Vice-Admiral's fist descended on the armrest, hand firmly clenched into a fist.
“Those cowardly ba-” he began to growl but then bit his tongue and released a low, almost grunting exhale while his fist quivered from momentarily clenching tighter. “Prepare to search for survivors,” he instead said in a much more controlled manner a moment later. “Preserve lives.”
“Yessir,” multiple of his officers echoed back as he looked out of the window, where he could still see the ghostly afterimage of the hyperspace bubble linger for a bit longer. It was always a strange feeling, seeing someone in the distance who was already dead...
–
With her view darkened and her goggles momentarily pulled off her eyes, Shida stared at the glowing bubble of impossible colors. Her sensors had already told her what was about to happen at any moment now, however her eyes still heavily constricted as they finally witnessed what unfolded themselves.
In what could be described as nothing else than a 'snap' , the light of the hyperspace-stretch instantly condensed down into its original size as the universe all at once remembered that the laws of physics were a thing that existed and brutally forced space to conform to them once again – no matter what may have been in between it and its original form.
Anything within the strange, round stretch was mercilessly ripped along with the convulsion, forcing all the injected warships and fighters into the single, small point that the stretch had been generated from. Though not even a faction of a second later, it all exploded outwards again as the megatons of mass realized that they could not all exist in the same place at once, since the energy of the event was not quite potent enough to press it all into a neutron star or singularity.
No longer recognizable blotches of undefined, white-hot matter were instantly scattered in all directions like some sort of micro-supernova that accentuated the sometimes still burning nano-stars that the earlier battle had created from the opposing fighters.
It was almost pretty...but still, Shida couldn't help but let her ears hang as she wondered how many of the enemy combatants had known about the decision to end things this way. Had any of them even been asked?
Even if it was the far more disturbing answer in a way, Shida almost hoped that this had actually been one mutual suicide-pact instead of the decision of one single commander to choose death over dishonor. Especially while sitting in a ship that was technically under the command of someone else herself, that was certainly the less immediately petrifying option – even if it would probably spell far worse things in the long run.
As she said there, the 'shockwave' of the collapsing hyperspace suddenly hit her, spreading out through space even without any medium to carry it and rocking her ship gently while also penetrating all throughout her body. Of course the earlier relativity fire had already caused similar ripples and she was therefore quite used to the feeling, however these ones sure felt a bit more severe than those of the U.H.S.D.F.'s own canons. It was like she felt her own body distort while also remaining perfectly in palace – almost like she was a stiff container full of water that someone had given a heavy smack from the side, riling up the liquid without it actually having any place to plash to.
According to everything they knew, this phenomenon felt incredibly odd but was entirely harmless to living beings – which was instinctively very hard to believe when one felt it on their own body.
However, her dwelling thoughts were, perhaps luckily, interrupted as she – or more precisely one of her scanners - picked up on a peculiar signature that one of the scattered debris pieces was sending out.
Well, it was 'peculiar' to her that there was a signal at all at first, however then she quickly realized what it actually was. This particular signal was hammered into any pilot's head six ways to Sunday, and so she reacted relatively quickly when she glanced at the grid and realized that she was the closest ship to it. Firing up her engines, she turned her ship on the spot in a slight drift before activating her generator and making a jump right behind the flying object.
Once there, she allowed her computer to take aim for a second before firing out a harpoon that quickly struck the flying debris and latched her ship onto it through a long cable, allowing her to pull the thing along with her after slowly using her backwards thrusters to disperse its speed little by little. Pressing the indicator of her communication, she then spoke up.
“Scratches to Sun,” she announced. “I just recovered a black box. Permission to return for inspection?”
The black boxes of modern ships truly were among the most ridiculous pieces of tech out there, in Shida's humble opinion. Built to withstand almost everything that would likely take a ship out through a combination of brilliant engineering and extremely flexible material that only worked in its indented manner on very small scales. Well, very small compared to the ships they were built into. The things were about half the size of Shida in the end. For many years, armies of scientists had attempted their very best to make this same sort of defense useful in ways that could maybe be used to protect actual people from catastrophic events – but to no avail so far. For now, the only thing those little marvels could allow to survive even something as ludicrous as hyperspace collapsing was information.
“Permission granted, Lieutenant-Commander,” the answer came almost immediately. “Return to hangar three.”
“Copy,” Shida replied. “Scratches out.”
With that, she moved her ship around and prepared for her jump back to the Sun. Hopefully this thing would give them some answers on what exactly this whole thing was meant to accomplish...
–
Far away in another part of the galaxy, a pair of mildly glowing red eyes was laser-focused on a large screen that was just one of many that had merged all over Nedstaniot-Station to broadcast the breaking news to anyone willing to lift their eyes at a slight angle to look at them.
An attack on a coreworld. And not just any coreworld. Gewelitten itself. Something like this hadn't happened in...well, Curi didn't even know how long.
Details seemed to still be incredibly fuzzy as the battle so close to the coluyvoree homeworld had either just happened or was still happening at the moment of the broadcast, however what few details were known were already repeated on end in an endless scroll of text that was meant to catch as many people up to speed as was at all possible through the medium of television. Obviously the same emerging details could already be looked up on the net as well to find them in a more digestible format than the endlessly moving text next to the not exactly top quality footage of the occurring conflict.
However, despite the speed with which it went by, Curi had no problem following the scroll as they stared at the screen intensely.
“Attack was unannounced. Multiple Gewelitten fleet ships destroyed. Official sources confirm: Humanity NOT the aggressor. Attacking ships presumed to be of zodiatos origin. Unknown weapon technology deployed during the attack. U.H.S.D.F. ships engaged in combat after aggression. Myiat delegation ship confirmed unharmed. Attack on government facility on planet simultaneous to spacial attack. Councilman-Candidate Aldwin confirmed unharmed. Status of U.H.S.D.F. General Krieger unknown. Status of Gewelitten Governor H. Cierrophai unknown. Status of Acting-Councilman Afuéhner unknown. Allied coreworld defense fleets activated and inbound. General alert level raised to 8. Hyperspace-travel shut down around the system.”
“Mother, oh no...” Mueen said with absolute shock in his eyes, both of his hands clasped over this mouth as his wide pupils quivered in fear from what they witnessed.
Curi could understand his worry. Though Moar had supposedly been with James, so she would probably be fine. The cyborg was certainly more than just a little relieved that James was already confirmed to be safe. Though the idea that Admiral Krieger's situation was unknown was more than just a little disconcerting.
Though despite the supposed lack of their commanding officer, it seemed like the humans had decisively won out in the battle outside of the coreworld's atmosphere; unknown technology or not.
Given the sub-par footage that some drone was likely recording from quite far away from the actual conflict, it was very hard to tell just what sort of weapon the unknown but presumed to be zodiatos attackers had unleashed there. It looked like some sort of emanating energy that destroyed what it came into contact with but also interacted with it as if it had a physical presence.
Curi had never seen anything remotely like it before – not even in their wildest theories – and their mind immediately wanted to go wild with speculations and ideas about how such a thing might work now that they knew for a fact that it was possible from seeing it with their own eyes.
However, the cyborg pulled themselves together and successfully forced the briefly almost overwhelming desire to focus on nothing else down as they shifted their gaze slightly away from the screen to look over at their other currently nearby company.
Then again, as much as they knew they couldn't let their guard down around him, Reprig's eyes were just as immovably attached to the large screen as Mueen's were as he witnessed the unfolding battle with quivering horror.
His trunk was wiggling wildly in his face and one of his hands nervously scratched over the plate of the table they were all sitting and standing at and on, right next to a piece of paper with a hastily drawn sketch of a spring-like mechanical leg that was inspired by what humans called 'running blades'. The Warrant Officer's weapon also laid on the table, pushed a but further away from his hand so he wouldn't be able to easily reach it.
Though despite his focus, Curi couldn't quite help but speak up after a moment of watching him. “A coreworld attacking another coreworld,” they said to the man, who they knew either had to know far more than they did about this – or would be far more invested in it unfolding. “This is unprecedented.”
Reprig seemed to notice that they were talking to him, however he still remained silent and stared a good few moments longer before finally pulling his gaze away from the screen.
As his eyes met theirs, he looked a bit sick. It almost reminded the cyborg of one of the first interactions they had with the man, back when they nudged him slightly to hand his spy-device back to him after he tried to hide it in James' cabin. Though this time, the cyborg was quite sure that they were not the reason why the man seemed like most of his blood was currently rushing into his stomach.
Could he actually be shocked about what was happening? Was this not part of the plan?
“Unprecedented doesn't even come close to describing it...” he mumbled and couldn't hold the cyborg's gaze for long, looking down to the table's plate instead. “And these aren't just any coreworlds. Osontjar and Gewelitten have been allied for an unimaginably long time. The thought that they would even think of attacking each other...what sort of madness could've caused something like this?”
Curi was the first to admit to themselves that they were far from the best at reading people. If someone with even a modicum of skill in acting wanted to make them believe something untrue about the person they were talking to, they would never deny that there was a good chance of that person succeeding.
Still, Reprig's reaction felt...genuine to them. As if he had actually never expected something like this to happen. Not in a million years.
Maybe it was just skillful acting. And Curi knew that they should have been suspicious like that. However, despite everything he had done, they couldn't quite bring themselves to suspect that he was lying at that moment.
“I know it is unlikely you will give me an honest answer, but-” Curi began to say, however Reprig was more than able to anticipate what they were going to ask and replied long before they were finished.
“No. No. Never,” the sipusserleng said, shaking his head heavily and standing his trunk up while making a denying gesture with his hand that was so brash that he actually knocked his crutch off the small outcrop in the table it had been laid down on. “This must be some absolutely deranged people, no two ways about it. To attack a coreword...”
Curi noticed Reprig's gaze briefly twitching down, his eyes jumping onto the personal assistant strapped to his lower arm as if he suddenly got the urge to use it for something.
Curi suspected he likely wanted to call someone; question them to make extra sure that they had, in fact, nothing to do with this. Though the sipusserleng suppressed the urge and pulled his eyes away, bringing them back up to the screen.
Just at that moment, the implosion of collapsing hyperspace suddenly lit up the footage moments before the glowing remnants of what once had been the zodiatos ships were scattered across the star-system.
Mueen mumbled something in his home's language as his eyes remained affixed to the screen. Curi couldn't even begin to guess what he was saying. However, his voice sounded pleading.
“Suicide instead of surrender?” Reprig meanwhile mouthed breathlessly as his nervous tick of excessively licking his trunk began to show.
Although he had often been otherwise employed in recent times, Curi could see it in the man's eyes that he was still, in a way, military at heart. He knew the general values and doctrines that were conveyed to the soldiers of the Communal Military, both inside and out. And the idea of someone choosing death like this...it seemed to rock him to his very core.
Slowly, he turned his gaze over to Curi. His eyes were almost pleading with the cyborg, even if they seemed to already know that his next question would be asked in vain.
“Could it maybe have been the humans and their-” he began, but this time, it was Curi's term to cut him off after anticipating what was coming.
“While humans very much employ the collapsing of hyperspace as a tactic in war, the process is not invisible – or even subtle. Had the human ships caused that collapse, it would've been noticeable,” they explained succinctly. “It could've still been a mere unexpected failure of the hyperspace generation, of course. However, with the rarity of such events, the timing seems...unlikely.”
“They weren't even trying to generate a real stretch...” Reprig concurred dejectedly and left his head hanging, his trunk also sinking down limply. “I can't even imagine- Well...I hope they will at least find peace now, away from the madness.”
Curi paused for a long moment, staring at the Warrant Officer some more. Admittedly, the cyborg was a bit confounded at something. They knew for a fact the man had put his own life on the line for his orders, with a very real chance that they would lead to his death, more than just once. And yet the idea of being ordered to die seemed to disturb him. They couldn't quite figure out the difference that led to the results in reaction being so incredibly different, however it was still very clear that there was one.
And it seemed to hit the man hard.
Self-admittedly, Curi didn't exactly pity the man. They didn't quite have the capacity to. They knew about so many horrible things he had done that simply seeing him distressed was far from enough to stir such deep empathy for him within them.
Yet still, they weren't left entirely cold by it either – and if it was only because he seemed to be affected by these events in the ways a, for a lack of a better term, 'normal person' would be. He was shocked at the sudden, seemingly senseless violence, and concerned about the people involved.
Granted, it was likely only because they were people he considered worth being concerned about, yet still, the reaction was so...'normal', in a way they didn't quite expect from someone with such a capability for unceremonious acts of cruelty and violence. Even this person who had tried to kill them, or at least had been entirely comfortable with them getting killed, was capable of such a reaction.
And Curi...wasn't sure if that made things better or worse, if they were being honest.
It felt better because there was the capability for empathy there, however...it felt worse because they felt how they had been and likely still were willingly denied said empathy.
He could have cared...he just didn't want to.
Curi shook their body heavily, causing mild sounds from the engines running their legs' movements from the sudden force as they tried to shoo away emotions that they really didn't want to be feeling at that exact moment.
The thing that mostly kept them from following up on some of their uncomfortably aggressive thoughts at that moment was the fact that Mueen was still with them, the worry for his mother written across his features like a deep engraving in a metal plaque. He did not need anything like that around him right now, that much was clear.
Slowly, they moved over to him and reached up one of their long legs to run it along his arm while he still covered parts of his large face with both hands.
“She will be alright,” Curi then assured the dark-furred rafulite, switching from their usual voice box to their more “melodic” one to put on a gentle, calming tone. “She is stronger than she seems.”
Inhaling deeply as his nostrils flared, Mueen closed his dark eyes and swallowed heavily, taking his gaze off the large screen for the first time in many minutes while slowly hanging his head down.
“Yeah,” he said, seeming to force hopefulness into his tone. “Yes, she'll be fine. She made it his far. This won't get to her.”
Curi nodded with their entire body and continued to run the tip of their leg along his arm.
“She will be,” they repeated, both to the man and themselves as their own eyes moved upwards, their gaze falling back on the battlefield riddled with burning remnants of matter. “I'm sure of it.”
–
Never in his life had James felt so drunk and so sober at the same time. His mind was entirely clear, running a light-year a minute as it desperately tried to simultaneously process all the admittedly little information that he had in his current situation AND to not absolutely freak out while doing so somehow – a task he was ludicrously failing at. And it did NOT help that his body could barely keep itself on his own two feet.
He had avoided completely fainting by a hair earlier after reminding himself that, instead of being terrified for Shida's life, it would be much more fair towards her to simply focus on trusting in her skills to carry her through. However, that was barely a little patch on an enormous crack in his facade as he couldn't help but go over and over and over the fact of how much worse the situation that she needed to jump into here had been for her simply because it was his damn birthday and they wanted to indulge over it. He should've stopped that, but noooo, he just had to go and let himself be swayed so damn easily, as if he was still that little boy following Koko around whenever she visited the compound to try and get some attention.
Of course, a quiet voice in the back of his head tried to politely remind him that Shida had, in fact, not only taken part in the festivities as well but also encouraged him to do so, however it was easily overpowered by the screaming rest of his mind.
He briefly glanced over at the only somewhat conscious Commander. When she said that they should match each other's drinks, that should've been the moment he stopped. She was like half his weight, what the hell was he thinking?
His mechanical hand shot up, heavily gripping a fist full of hair as he tried to force himself to focus. What's done is done. There's no changing it. He should focus on anything else right now.
Though as he painfully pulled on his hair like that, his eyes suddenly went wide as he noticed something. Or, more precisely, didn't notice something.
When had the alarm stopped? Just now? Or had it been out and he just hadn't noticed?
Letting go of his hair, he lifted his face and looked around. If the alarm was over, then that meant...
The uncoordinated movement of soldiers reaching for their phones and radios with different speeds went through the room, and after brief confirmation, the uniformed forces began to move, having seemingly gotten new orders other than guarding the safe-rooms. Apparently, the threat was over.
James quickly fumbled for his own phone, his barely coordinated hands struggling extremely with the simple task of trying to call one of his contacts – much to the frustration of his already cleared mind. His finger trembled as he swiped it across the screen, trying to get it to the right damn place to make a simple god-damn call.
However, he froze in the motion at a quiet sound that was immediately followed by a sudden stir behind him as multiple people seemed to move quickly. And after just a second, James was among them as well.
Nearly tripping over his feet, he damn near threw himself onto the sickbed that didn't stand too far away from him, his phone momentarily forgotten and eyes wide open as they stared over at an endlessly familiar dark face, that however had life in it for the first time in what felt like an eternity at that moment.
Slowly and twitchy, Nia's eyes fluttered open as she let out quiet groans while mildly stirring in place while her doctors and nurses hurried around her and quickly began to take her vitals.
After flinching heavily as a flashlight was quite suddenly shone into her eyes to test her photopupillary reflex, she began to move even more. Meanwhile, James and Tuya were basically pressed shoulder to shoulder close to the foot of her bed, the only thing keeping them from dashing right up to her face being just enough awareness to not get in the doctor's way.
Still, although her movements were very slow, stiff, and groggy, Nia eventually lifted up her head, looking around with still somewhat hazy and half-closed eyes. But that didn't stop her from smiling when her gaze fell onto the two who so nervously stood at her bedside there.
“Hey,” she said in a quiet, croaky, but still very much cheerful voice as her unkempt hair fell down both sides of her face.
Though James didn't see much more than that, because just about at that moment, his vision was entirely taking away by welling-up waters sweeping him along.

Would love to hear your journey to get a DX and treatment and how it worked for you.
My longer story:
I am legitimately accident prone. In 2018 was in a car accident and lost against the steering wheel.
Approximately where your gallbladder is started experiencing sharp pains. Also rotator cuff damage on that side.
I had my gallbladder taken out on the chance it was that. No HIDA scan necessary, they saw an incidental gallstone on us like a year prior. Never had issues and it wasn't what we were looking for at the time.
I also had shoulder surgery, they suspected a SLAP tear based on my symptoms and pain location (pain starts in the front and wraps around into my scapular area. Although it was hard to tell where it started until recently)
No slap tear confirmed via scope
At this point I'm told intercostal neuralgia, modify my life style.
So I stop using my abs and let my body develop compensations.
Never using my core resulted in liveable pain levels (but still present)
Enter 2022. I break my knee and do something to my thigh/hip
Finally in 2024 after failing numerous regular PTs I'm put into Pelvic Floor PT.
Last week she starts assigning core exercises.
As soon as I activate my deep abdominal muscles the pain climbs and hasn't left since.
And it's pain, not soreness from something new.
Now I can't sleep cough or laugh.
Pacing seems to help.
So anyway I had a light bulb moment when that happened and am thinking I don't have intercostal neuralgia, but possibly ACNES still don't think that does anything to HELP me..
But if you do have this how did you get over it? I need to heal my core to heal my leg to have some sort of life.

Chaos and Order Prologue/chapter One
Novella
The following is the first two chapters from my first fantasy novel. It's an almost Lovecraftian, dark fantasy inspired by the likes of Berserk, Attack on Titan and One Piece. I had originally thought to try and do a graphic novel. After realising the amount of effort that might take, I'll try it in prose form first.
Hope you enjoy
At the beginning there was only the Source.
The source energy of all things made from pure consciousness, an omnipresent higher being. Fated to be everything and nothing forever in an eternity of self reflection and loneliness, Source felt an eternity of despair. From that despair it gave birth to two new separate beings. Source's soul now divided into two entities.
Order and Chaos were born.
Source divided itself up equally between Order and Chaos and became all the life that that now wandered the world of Eve.
For a time, Order and chaos existed in balance. But Order, in it's increasing desire to control life, soon sought to banish chaos...
Our story begins long after Chaos and his followers have been mascaraed in an ancient war. A small village near the edge of the world is all that remains of them. In their desperation they cry out to their lord and begged Chaos for it's aid. Chaos also fearing it's extinction reached out to them. It would embed a portion its power upon one child born in precisely 9 months time. Created in to defeat Order, it is the last hope for Chaos and all of it's followers. It would defeat Order and the one who ruled in it's name. The leaders of the village David and Fae would give birth to the child of Chaos, it's power blessed upon the newborn. David and Faye named him Guy. Born to defeat Order and kill it's leader, the sorceress of Order. Chaos tells the villagers the child will be the one to rid the world of Order, and restore Chaos into the world. Soon Guy was born and the village held it's breath.
Guy always knew he was different. From his earliest memories, he sensed wasn't like the other children. Whilst they played together he trained alone. Harnessing his skills in combat.
Why do I do this? The thought was always stalking him.
"It is too much to burden you with" Guy remembers his mother telling him. "One day we will tell you everything and you will understand. You're everything our people have waited for. You're special Guy".
I don't want to be special. I just want a friend. I want to be normal...
Ten days before his 8th birthday, in the height of a winter storm, he heard his parents arguing. Every now and again the storm would drown our their voices. The next day they told him he was finally old enough to learn the truth about his birth and his destiny. All the ordeals and training would finally make sense.
Two days before his 8th birthday Guy watched the other kids celebrating one of theirs. Whilst his parents were away for a village meeting, he snuck out to join them. Guy asked if he could play too. The other children went silent. They quickly made excuses to leave. When Guy returned to his house he saw the other kids come back out again.
The next day he was once again practicing his combat skills with his wooden dagger. His father watched on.
Guy's form slipped for just a moment.
"Again Guy?." His father slapped the back of Guy's head . "How many times have I told you to concentrate!?"
Guy dropped his dagger.
"I don't want this anymore. I just want to be normal!!
Guy runs into the woods until, eventually, his father's scream disappeared into the gathering wind. Guy lies still, sobbing beside an old oak tree. A few minutes pass and exhaustion begins to creep in as his eyes turn bloodshot.
"I swear I won't come back this time" Guy muttered to himself.
The sound of thunder can be heard. Guy bolts up right and hears a scream coming from the village. He rushes to his feet and runs in it's direction. The screaming grows louder and louder as thick smoke begins to gather.
I knew shouldn't of ran away, its my fault this has happened! The words hung heavy in his mind.
He arrives back at the village. Hostile unfamiliar voices can be heard in the.
A cold voice fills the air.
"The child where is he?" Guy's father hovers in the air, his feet several feet above the ground, before a hooded figure. The hooded figure was tall and wore dark black and purple robes, his face shrouded in shadow. He carried a long body-length staff stretched towards Guy's father, a blue light shining towards his father's face at the very tip. Guy stops and watches as he sees the life slowly being choked out of him, his fathers eyes just visible through the thickening smoke.
"Tell me where he is!" the figure bellows
"I told you I have no child" David gasped
Guys eyes tremble and he holds back tears. His father's eyes meets his own for a second and then fades . Guy turns and runs. He doesn't stop. He runs for miles till the screams can no longer be heard. The only voices be could now hear was his fathers and his own as they swirled inside his head.
I have no son - He heard his father's voice
Why didn't I save them - He thought
I told you
Its all my fault. Its my fault Its all my fault Its my fault
I should of never have fled
I told you. I HAVE NO SON
Guy, aged 18, wakes up in the present day from the same nightmare. He is sleeping in a makeshift leather tent in the woods, his sweaty hand gripping his steel dagger. The full moon is high and bright but will soon be covered by thick cloud. Guy gets up and takes out his dagger and begins moving towards the nearby tree. He lunges in with it pointed just about touching the tree with the tip, just as he was taught to as a child. As the sun rises we can see that even in the gloom almost all of his strikes to tree were on target. There hundreds of incisions and pieces of tree missing, all laser focused on one spot just a few mm thick and wide.
The sunlight illuminates his lifeless eyes. He stares at the tree and wonders again, what is his purpose. His hand grips his blade as he lunges once more at the tree.
Chapter 1
Luna
Capital city
The grand temple of Order
Luna's heart danced with excitement as she walked hand in hand with her mother, her bright green-blue eyes sparkling with anticipation.
"Did you tell them I wanted white daffodils when I return to this plane? That's how I always imagined it!"
"Yes Luna, now we must hurry" her mother replied with a forced smile. Luna (7 years old) loved flowers but especially daffodils.
As they approached the grand hall, Luna's breath caught in her throat at the sight before her. The doors swung open to reveal a spectacle more magnificent than anything she had ever imagined.
Three magical orbs floated gracefully in an orbit around the hall, casting a soft, ethereal light that bathed everything in a blue mystical glow.
The religious, military, civil leaders and royal family members watched on in hushed silence as Luna and her mother entered the hall, the blue light only just bright enough to illuminate their eager faces as they watched on. It was so dim Luna could not see very far beyond the limited light the orbs cast. The distant edges of the hall still lay in shadow.
She had dreamed of final seeing the grand Hall and finally becoming a sorceress . Surrounded by white daffodils and the admiration of her family, she would emerge as the greatest sorceress ever. Luna inhaled deeply. She wondered if she'd be like the wise sorceress of the rebellion era who saved Eden from the dark one. Or perhaps the current sorceress , her great aunty Adel, whos powers would soon pass to Luna. As she approached the alter at the center of the oval hall, she looked around to see hooded figure at all side. Most held staffs with glowing blue orbs at the tip, all raised up towards the spheres that hovered in the air. A soft chant could be heard. A choir of hooded girls sang an almost forgotten ancient tongue towards the alter. Known only to a few, Luna couldn't remember what they called the language. Her mother had told her aside from a chosen few, no one remembered the name.
All as was designed by Order in his great plan. She thought
The song rose slightly as she reached the center. Luna walked up a stone step and kneeled before the alter just as she was told to do so. The grand priest, a tall balding man dressed in brilliant white robes cleared his throat and bellowed
"We begin this ceremony to welcome a new vessel to our saviour and light in the dark years. Great Lord of Order who banished Chaos to the night long ago. May we rid the heavens and Eden of all of his kin, so his name too will be lost to time" He cleared his throat again before continuing
"We the disciples of Order eagerly follow his path. Soon we will join him in the promised land"
Luna's mother whispers in her ear
"Be brave, Mother loves you" Luna didn't understand why there was a little sadness in her voice. Her mother squeezed her hand one last time then leaves her side to join her father who's eyes glared fiercely back at her.
Luna looked at her feet. I have to make him proud. Be a good daughter. Be a good sorceress
The grand priest began to speak
"So as the new eve approaches so we cast aside the old and begin anew. The final vassal and saviour." The room echoes these words with him. She could feel her heart beating in her ears
A hooded figure approaches her and removes her brilliant dark purple hood. The sorceress Adel, her great aunt and current ruler of Eden.
White haired and ancient, her passionless eyes stares down at Luna. She nods gently at Luna to begin. Now Luna needed to assume her rightful place before her and kneel. The center sphere turned blue and the air seemed to change. The great priest raises his arms and the chanting grows louder before coming to a sudden stop. Luna could sense a new presence among them. . She took a deep breath. The great priest passed a goblet of shining blue liquid to Luna. She drank a sip of the water and passed it to Adel. Adel was trembling too, even more than Luna. Adel took a sip before passing the goblet back to the grand priest.
A moment passed. From the corners of the hall a shadow moved quickly. The blue light of the spheres began to shiver and twist as the shadow passed though it. The shadow reached out and sank into Adel. She screamed as light bellowed from her mouth.
An unearthly voice rang
Do you accept me, child
There was silence
Luna couldn't find her voice. She opened her mouth gasping for the words. Looking over Adel's shoulder. She saw her father's eyes glaring from the shadows. Luna's heart skipped a beat.
"Yes I I accept"
The light blasted out of Adel and hit her head on. Luna screamed as the Adel fell to the floor.
She felt the light tear into the very fabric of her soul and bury itself there. For a moment Luna no longer knew who she was, where she was, or have memories of ever being alive. Her soul was ripped out her body and flung far, far away. There she felt the pure terror of eternity gaze at her. She knew Order was with her now. Waiting, watching. For a moment she thought she could see what was almost an eye, or window of perception. Flashes of light began to appear from it. Each flash was a moment in time. The future. It began to unravel itself in her mind. Her soul screamed out as the future became a part of her. Now every moment of her life, her was as burnt into her memory and it began to unfold one second at a time.
She opened her eyes and saw clapping.
"Arise sorceress Luna."
Tears streamed down her face she took a step forward.
It was just the same as she had foreseen. It was just the same as she had foreseen. It was just as she had foreseen..! The words tormented her.
Everything is the same. No this can't be real. This can't be... Her eyes met Adel's Adel looked back at her with a sad smile.
"I love you Luna. Be strong"
"It hurts. please, please help me, please" Luna begged
"Promise me you won't give up. I believe in you" Adel replied. Luna looked at her feet.
I can't let them see me cry.
She looks up and sees her aunt collapse and lay motionless. The blue light fades and colour returns to the hall.
Luna reaches to cover her eyes as more tears began to form. She already knew what would happen next, but she couldn't prevent it. The tears kept appearing.
Stop stop, please Stop
Her father grabs her her arms away from her face and thrusts them to her side. He kneels and whispers.
"If you don't stop crying and bringing shame to out family.. to our LORD. I will no longer have a daughter. Am I understood?"
"Yes father"
"As you were, child". He glares and pushes her towards the head priest before returning to his seat.
"Continue" he bellows. Everyone who was for a moment frozen in place by his fury jolt back to their positions. All was all just as she had seen. Burnt into her mind . It was like walking through a familiar tunnel. A tunnel of her life. And then came the next moment, and the next. Like she foreseen. Like she had foreseen like she had foreseen...
Her heart slowed.
Who am I now. Please help me Aunty
She saw the daffodils she had requested dancing in the air as she walked through an applauding crowd. She grabbed one and stared at it. Onlookers sobbed and hugged each other in joy. The choir resumed, right at the precise moment she expected it would. She opened her hand and looked at the white daffodil. It was just a dead flower, nothing special.

For anyone who doesn’t know, there is a procedure some ENTs do called laser cryptolosis, where you get numbed with local anesthesia and the doctor takes a small laser to burn away the crypts and pockets of your tonsil tissue. It isn’t effective for everyone, but I figured it was worth a shot before I went for a full tonsillectomy. The recovery time is much shorter and easier. I was searching endlessly for people’s experiences with this before my procedure, so I figured I’d make a post detailing it.
I had the procedure at 1:00. When I first went in my doctor put numbing gel on my tonsils. Most doctors from what I’ve read use a numbing spray to numb the area, but my doctor used needles after the gel, like what you’d get at the dentist. Didn’t feel much of the needles, just a pinch.
He let me sit for a few minutes then came back in and had me hold a vacuum suction for the smoke. He then got the laser ready. As he was going over spots, I did feel it, and there were a few spots that were a bit painful, but it was overall bearable. He stopped every minute or so to let me swallow and make sure I was okay.
Then that was it! I was good to go. He gave me a lollipop to get rid of the weird taste in my mouth, and I was out the door. The entire appointment took about half an hour.
It’s been a few hours since now, and my throat is sore, but nothing awful. I haven’t tried to eat much yet, but I feel like I’d be able to eat anything beside something very spicy or crunchy. I took some ibuprofen and plan to stay on top of it for the next couple of days. I have no idea what the crypts look like since it’s hard to see anything beside a sorta singed area, but I plan to keep an update going as things heal. Hopefully this procedure will work!
(Also realize the after tonsillectomy tag isn’t quite right, but wasn’t sure what else to list this as)

Hi reddit, my 12 year old schnauzer has been going through some sudden health issues that seem to be worsening than it started and I would appreciate if I could get some feedback on making further decisions.
Two weeks ago, he had black diarrhea so I took him to the vet. Upon examinations, his liver rates were too high, so they prescribed Zentonil, Metronidazole and a GI paste to try out for a month. Since the visit to the vet, he has not been eating at all. This included everything but water; until about a week ago, water included. He doesn't even look at his favourite snack, I tried blending meat or rice into a soup, Hill's prepared foods, bone broth, making the kibbles softer, giving little portions on my hands-everything. For the first week, since the last two medications needed to be eaten with/after food, I spooned puree into his throat with the pill. I think the pills stopped the diarrhea but since then, he would puke everything that went in, even in small portions. Soon after I saw the yellow stomach bile being vomited I stopped force feeding entirely. Since then, no puking. However, this means he has no source of nutrition which lead to his drastic weight loss. He is usually 8.5kg. At the vet, he was 7.4kg. This morning, I weighed him, he was 6.2kg. He seriously can't even walk anymore but keeps his eye wide open the whole time. He breathes really hard. His hind leg shivers. The Metronidazole and GI paste finished in a little over a week, and just about then was when he stopped puking because I stopped force feeding; I also stopped the Zentonil as well. I have a month's supply of Zentonil and the vet told me to try for a month but his serious appetite loss is concerning me and I don't know what to do.
I called the vet about a week ago about his appetite issue and they said they can either give him an IV drop that will probably just last a few hours; or to do an ultrasound (but they don't know what they're looking for so it could come out clean). My boy had a half-year long visit due to a neurology-related issue, only after spending 6k and numerous exams the specialist told me that his symptoms are gone so there's no need to do anything. I was happy to see that he was feeling better, but I just don't want this to be something that will make me toss him around to different specialists only to give him more pain. Should I go to my vet and proceed with an ultrasound or is there anything else I can do? I am really concerned.

• Species: Canine
• Age: 12
• Sex/Neuter status: Neutered
• Breed: Schnauzer
• Body weight: 6.2kg
• History: See above
• Clinical signs: Severe weight loss, no appetite, heavy breathing, hind leg shivering intermittently
• Duration: 1-2 week
• Your general location: Canada

Thanks for taking the time to read.

Just got my 24hr PH results. Normal acid reflux levels.
1 acid reflux event 21 weakly acid events
Dr conclusion was normal, no explanation for my severe throat pain.
I suspect I have weakly acidic reflux because I have low stomach acid. Would this make sense?
Symptoms are: Severe throat burn 24/7 no matter what i eat Voice problems/throat clearing Constant burping belching all day (Mayne brining Pepsi) Indigestion and bloating. Mucas (doesn't bother me so much)
I never had any of these issues until 24hrs after I took the PPI (for an unrelated cough 😤)
I suspect Low Stomach Acid and possibly bacterial overgrowth from the PPI. I was on PPIs for 2 months and I've been off for 3 months but my stomach is still wrecked.
I did AWD for 5 months with zero improvement. 3 weeks into the Fast Tract Diet now and belching has reduced a small amount, but no improvement in other symptoms. Throat burn is brutal.
No HH, barium swallow was OK, no H-p.
Lost tons of weight. Severely under weight now. Struggle to work or socialize. Can't exercise as it makes things worse (I just walk).
Soon gonna start HCL but worried because I'm in severe throat pain now. Can barely work as is... If it gets worse I'm in trouble.
Anyone's LPR improve after they fixed their stomach?

So I have chronic pain in my shoulder in arm that I have been getting physiotherapy on. After two sessions my physio basically said that my arm is so messed up that he doesn't know what the issue is and said he'd refer me for 3 MRIs. He asked where I was covered with my Health Insurance and having checked it recently, I listed out the places I remembered.
I get the MRIs done and on the call they asked if I was covered. I said yes and was told that my insurance doesn't do direct settlement with the clinic so I would need to claim it later but that the cost would be €810 for the 3 scans. It's a lot of money but I think to myself that this is the first clinic to get back to me and I'll be able to get this sorted quickly and get the money back. Although it pains me to spend it, I'm lucky enough that I'll be able to get by until the money gets back into my account.
Anyway, today I went to put the claim in and I discovered that I must have misread the eligible clinics list because the clinic is not listed. So it looks like I just spent €810 on 3 mri scans when there were 3 other clinics within a 20minute drive where I could have gotten it done for free. Thankfully, this won't break me financially but I will feel it with my wedding fast approaching and I'm currently trying to save for a house.
TL;DR: Misread my insurance policy and thought I was covered for scans at a clinic. Instead spent over €800 when it would have been free at 3 other clinics near to me.

Hi all, I've been living with a slowly degenerating C4-C6 for many years now (I'm currently 62 woman in California) and am just now considering ACDF 2 level surgery. The muscle pain in my shoulders and neck have gotten significantly worse over the past 6 months. I can't sleep on either side any more (even with many strategically placed pillow). Nerve pain on my right side is there but not debilitating (traction helps). My question is for those of you who have had this surgery....did you experience adjacent muscle pain previously and did the surgery help with this? Surgeon thinks it will help but of course can't give me any guarantees. TIA!

Hello !
Here is the context / 6 years ago I have a dream in which I choke with meat and it was so realistic that I felt the sensation that I was chocking with food in my sleep. When I woke up, my life started to be a nightmare. I stopped eating meat, and most of solid food. I had similiar dreams like this, with this sensation that I was choking with candies, spaghettis… etc. I progressively reached a point that I was so scarednto choke with food that I struggled with my own saliva. Only around 2020, i was able to find a name on what I had : phagophobia. Before, I did several medical exams, a specialist even puta camera in my nose to see if I had something in my throat because I felt like something was stuck in my throat. In the point of view of medicine I have nothing, nothing was found. My doctor told me to beggin a therapy, I did. Nothing changed. This had consequences on different aspect of my life : I stopped my studdies because I can’t stay a lot outside of home since I eat nothing and have no energy ; I can’t work ; i can’t have a sociql life because people like to go to restaurants. How can I marry someone with this problem ? My life is on pause since 6 years, I tried to go back to university to finally stop because I really can’t. I noticed that each evening, around the same hour I start to have symptoms in my throat. Pain, sensation that I choke with food ; sensation that something is stuck in my throat. I also gave panick attacks with heart race, pain on my chest. I saw a cardiologist recently and everything is normal. I start to ask myself if it is really psychological. I would like to have your point of view

One day while I was teaching I felt a sharp pain in my T3/T4 area on the left side, then burning and itching for weeks. Went to a spinal specialist early on who took an Xray and said everything was normal. I was 25 at the time. Six months before that, I had finished my thru-hike of the AT and thought I had somehow compressed a small nerve carrying a cheap backpack that was too heavy.
I went to urgent care a year later and they took another Xray and confirmed it was a compressed nerve, and said some calcification was happening. I did some dry needling and that helped, but the facility was so careless. Sometimes I'd go to put my shirt on after a session and needles would fall off of my back and they'd say, "Oops, forgot a couple." So I stopped.
Ever since then, the pain has only progressed-- especially when I'm stressed or dehydrated. When I bend my torso left or right or twist, air escapes my lungs involuntarily through my throat and you can hear it if you listen closely.
Sometimes it's just excruciating. I got an MRI a year ago and everything came back normal. But recently I noticed that the skin on my ribs on the left side is kind of numb compared to the other side. The left is where I've had all the problems.
Ankylosene Spondilitis runs in the family as well. Should I get tested for that? What else could be causing this?

One day while I was teaching I felt a sharp pain in my T3/T4 area on the left side, then burning and itching for weeks. Went to a spinal specialist early on who took an Xray and said everything was normal. I was 25 at the time. Six months before that, I had finished my thru-hike of the AT and thought I had somehow compressed a small nerve carrying a cheap backpack that was too heavy.
I went to urgent care a year later and they took another Xray and confirmed it was a compressed nerve, and said some calcification was happening. I did some dry needling and that helped, but the facility was so careless. Sometimes I'd go to put my shirt on after a session and needles would fall off of my back and they'd say, "Oops, forgot a couple." So I stopped.
Ever since then, the pain has only progressed-- especially when I'm stressed or dehydrated. When I bend my torso left or right or twist, air escapes my lungs involuntarily through my throat and you can hear it if you listen closely.
Sometimes it's just excruciating. I got an MRI a year ago and everything came back normal. But recently I noticed that the skin on my ribs on the left side is kind of numb compared to the other side. The left is where I've had all the problems.
Ankylosene Spondilitis runs in the family as well. Should I get tested for that? What else could be causing this?