So it seems Heaven has called you for jury duty, huh? Yeah, happens constantly to you angels. The principalities just throw you in, tell you that you have to work jury duty so long, blah blah blah. It gets annoying, so that's why I'm gonna teach you how to be the best juror possible.

1. Serve for your specific time. They like to use days instead of anything else. Most make you serve around 5 human years, but Michael will make you serve 10. Any more or less gets you condemned to Limbo, which means you'll just be wandering around forever in a crowded space. Yeah, they take this seriously, but you probably won't get Michael for reasons in rule 2. If you are given 4 years, please alert Charameine. That is Baraziel, or Lucifer disguising himself as Baraziel.
   
2. Check your court and who's running it. Usually, as just a regular angel, you either get Gabriel or Jophiel, as they dabble more in human affairs than the other archangels. They run rooms 701 and 702 on the first floor of court. If you manage to get somewhere else, please calmly go back to the elevator. If you have been assigned another court, for example, Azrael's court on floor 3 (room 706), ask if you have promoted. If you have not, please specify you are just a regular angel. If you have been, go to the court assigned. Baraziel should not have a court, nor should anyone who is not an archangel. There are only 7 courts. If there is more, it is likely to get you tortured brutally, worse than human torture because you can't die again.
   
3. Check what's happening in court. Floor 1 deals with sending people where they belong. Gabriel sends the kids away as he's softer than Jophiel, who deals with adults. Floor 2 deals with crimes of angels. This is where Chamiel and Raphael go, with Chamiel dealing with more soft matters and Raphael dealing with the more pressing ones. Floor 3 holds Azrael, Michael, and Uriel, who deal more with Hell and creation than anything. Usually only seraphim, principalities, and thrones go there. If angel crimes are happening on the 3rd floor, report it to the 3 archangels there, but preferably Michael. If you get assigned there while that happens, you will be tortured, if not sent to the 9th circle of Hell for your crimes against Heaven. Neither is a good fate.
   
4. If anyone below the archangels puts on a court, make sure it isn't a play. If it is, carry on. If it's not, tell a principality. You will be called to floor 2 when the angels are dealt with, and you will be a witness. This exempts you from all further jury duty until the case is over. If your jury duty is over before the trial is, then lucky you. If it's not angels hosting it at all, silently tell a seraph. The creatures are not supposed to be out of purgatory, the principalities will not survive them.
   

Let's move on to circumstances during the court. This section is more risky, proceed with caution.

1. Should you not show up to court, you will be a defendant for floor 2, and I assure you that you will be found guilty and sent to purgatory. They will not show you mercy. Be thankful if it's not a Leviathan.
   
2. If you see anything other than an angel, or something you can tell is not an angel no matter how hard it tries to look like one, in the jury, alert the bailiff Seraph. Those aren't angels, those are the creatures of purgatory, or even a demon if possible. It will kill you eventually, it's here to see who it wants for dinner.
   
3. If you are called upon to read the verdict of the jury, please see what is in everyone else's interests. If you say heaven when everyone says hell, you will be jumped by the jury. Angels are a hive mind, they will accuse you of being a fraud. You are not Castiel, you do not have free will.
   
4. If the archangel you are a juror for gets nervous and leaves, it is best to hide. Lucifer has come to visit for a very serious case, and he is likely here to fuck around. He should be in Michael's court, but he's the Devil and will screw around. If anyone other than Jesus comes to find Lucifer, then Michael is dead, and I wish you a lucky hiding spot, because that's Hell 2.0 now.
   
5. There will be occasional breaks. Make a tally on the other juror's verdicts. You will not know until it's too late if you have to read the verdict, so it's better safe than sorry.
   

That's unfortunately all I can give you, as I have not been a juror for 1500 Earth years. If any of these rules have changed since, I apologize. Good luck to you.

Introduction

Hello fellow Helldivers. My name is Elliot, alias TeGoRE, a player with 155 hours on the game and plenty of experience gathered from 3rd party sources, especially Reddit and YouTube. I primarily play on difficulty 7, so this post will be biased specifically towards that difficulty.
As you all may know by this point, a lot of people are upset with the Automaton faction, its issues, balancing, bugs, etc. In this post I will be attempting to bring awareness to specific issues rather than asking for vague and general "fixes" the faction would need. I will also be referencing the other faction currently present in the game, the Terminids, as a point of comparison throughout the post.

"Fun factor" analysis; Loadout restrictions

I'll begin with what I believe will be the major point of discussion here. The automatons are just not fun. I understand this is a critical take, but please read before jumping straight to comments.
Let's compare the "fun" factor of Terminids to Automatons here. The Terminids allow you to run pretty much any loadout, while still letting you have impact on the game. You can run pure fodder clear loadouts with light penetration primaries and support tools and contribute to the mission that way, allowing your teammates to clear the heavies with ease. You can also run pure heavy clear with big bulky primaries and anti-tank tools, still contributing to the mission by destroying any charger and bile titan that comes into sight hence allowing your teammates to shoot the other fodder present without being spat on by a 400 ton oversized shrimp or being charged at by a walking rock. With both loadout cases you can also bring stratagems or change out your primaries and other tools (secondary and grenade specifically) that will allow you to have at least some impact on the heavies or lights, respectfully.
The Automatons don't allow for such loadout variety, and considering all the nerf barrages we've been receiving it's obvious that loadout choices are quite restrictive when it comes to fighting automatons. When was the last time you ran flamethrower against the Automatons? Any of the guard dogs? Any other sentry besides autocannon, EMS mortar or maybe the rocket sentry? Gas or airburst strikes? Light penetration or non-precision primaries? You get my point.
The faction requires a playstyle too specific for the casual player. You need to equip high precision weaponry (AMR, Counter sniper, Dominator, etc.) or medium penetration weaponry (Liberator penetrator, Counter sniper, Autocannon, etc) alongside way too many anti-tank tools. Sure, you can bring fodder clear, but the only realistic fodder is the regular troopers or the strider unit. Maybe berserkers. Only reliable (not saying it's the only viable one might I add) fodder clearer would be the grenade launcher, maybe the arc thrower. Furthermore, once on the actual battlefield, you can't necessarily play aggressive. Jump into a pile of bots and you'll be jumping back out limb-by-limb. You have to stay in cover, picking enemies one by one, slowly advancing forward. Then get all your progress denied by a bot drop :^)
We can then conclude that one of the contributing factors to why the Automatons aren't fun is the fact that it's too restricting and too sluggish. Let's look deeper, and analyse why your loadout and playstyle get so restricted;

Enemy analysis, its' contribution to the fun factor

The enemy types of the faction just do not let you vary your loadout enough.
Devastators specifically are the biggest issue. The regular devastator is well-thought out, a heavier bulkier unit with obvious weakspots and not too much firepower which could be compared to the hive guard in terms of mechanics. However, for the heavy devastator and rocket devastator, these are built to just bullshit you into dying. And good luck killing them if you have a light-pen weapon or generally don't have a longer-ranged or high-precision tool, as their primary body (excluding the abdomen) has enough HP to take three full counter sniper magazines (I do not know how a rocket devastator managed to do that, but it did) and just shrug it off. I don't think I need to talk about heavy devastators, they've been brought up enough... I will just briefly skim over it. They're too accurate. "Suppressive fire" does nothing to them. Their 70%-body-covering shield can eat anti-tank projectiles no problem. Sometimes a pack of devastators can be more devastating (badumtss) than a pack of hulks, depending on what devastators they are. If the "heavy" unit of a faction gets outperformed by common enemies, it's an obvious issue.
Another obnoxious enemy type is the berserker. As the name implies, they're a rage-crazed bot with only one directive: charge at you and kill you, no regard for its personal being. Which would be fine if they didn't have the health pool of a damn tank. One unit alone can eat an anti-tank projectile. And they typically spawns in packs of 4. Their weakspots don't even count as weakspots from what I can personally tell, shooting them in the head or the abdomen does about the same damage as just plain out shooting them. They're hard to kill at their core, and if they're backed up by support fire from the other enemy types behind them, you're pretty much helpless.
The rest of the enemy units are fine, in my opinion. They're well thought-out, with obvious counter-measure mechanics.
Hulks can be compared to Chargers. Heavy, tanky units at first, but mechanic rich enough to be an easy take-down once you figure out what you're doing. They have a giant heatsink which is where you have to shoot at regularly to take them out reliably. Not a weakspot might I add, just a point which you can shoot. Think Charger's butt. If you're a space cowboy shooting their tiny faceplate with anti-tank, or even medium penetration tools, can kill them as well. Lastly, just pumping them full of anti-tank projectiles (typically 2 rockets from any of the support weapons) will take them out just fine. There's other cool tricks you could pull off, such as throwing impact grenades between their feet, making them land behind the hulk, which would then take it out in 2 impact grenades if done right. Thermite grenades also deal a lot of damage to their legs, which can take them out too. Lastly, their arms can just be plain out shot off with the right tools. In conclusion, they are threatening at first, but once you use your brain to figure out its weakness, you're going to shrug them off.
Factory Striders are the Bile Titans of the Automatons. They are a bit less obvious but can still be handled decently well by a complete newbie. 2 miniguns on the front, shoot them off with medium penetration for easier kiting. Rocket the top cannon off for further success. Their big exposed abdomen is the obvious weakspot anyone can figure out. Shoot it enough and it'll die. For the more experienced, the front panel eye alongside the opening vents can also be points of advantage. Oh also can we talk about how they're a giant walking factory? Just bomb that bitch! 500kg, orbital precision strike, a regular airstrike, etc. It's a giant target just BEGGING you to throw stratagems at it.
Striders are simple as well. Big impenetrable front plate, completely exposed sides and back. A baby could do it!
Troopers are just fodder. Shoot 'em, they fall over.

Issue with dropships

If you played at least a few hours on the automaton front, you may know that the dropships can be shot down. However, when was the last time you saw that actually do anything?
The explosion deals too little damage, only sometimes killing the trooper units it's carrying. The body of the dropship itself seems to do no impact damage on the automatons, but loves to damage the shit out of you. The automatons also don't seem to care when they fall down 50 feet. Especially dropships with tanks. Shoot them down at the highest point of their drop, tank flies down at crazy velocity, lands with literally 0 damage to itself, then the dropships smacks on top of the tank doing fuck-all to it.
Oh and you can't forget the fact that the debris is solid cover FOR THE BOTS. You can't shoot through it. They can. They can also walk through it, you can't. ??????????

Issues with Automaton-specific side objectives

I will only bring up the ones that have actual issues behind them. If it isn't brought up here, then I personally believe it is fine.

• SEAF SAM Site

Barely does it's job. Shoots down one dropship per reinforcement, and as we learned earlier shooting the dropships down doesn't even do anything to begin with. Often times the rockets hit terrain as well. Completely pointless side-objective.

• Stratagem Jammer

Add some sort of indication to the spectating players when the person they're spectating is inside a jammer field, and therefore cannot reinforce them. Too many posts about too many people getting kicked for not reinforcing when they literally cannot.

• Mortar emplacement

WARNING YOU ARE IN RANGE OF ENEMY ARTILLERY WARNING YOU ARE IN RANGE OF ENEMY ARTILLERY WARNING YOU ARE IN RANGE OF ENEMY ARTILLERY WARNING YOU ARE IN RANGE OF ENEMY ARTILLERY oh my god SHUT UP!!!!

Bugs (not the Terminid kind)

The faction is riddled with way too many bugs, which just suck the fun out of it. Bots shooting through obviously solid cover, bots seeing you from across the map / through cover and then calling reinforcements, their seemingly 50/50 resistance to explosive damage, then other misc bugs not worth addressing.
This obviously drives people away. A terminid can't shoot me through a rock, I'd prefer fighting that terminid.

Conclusion of analysis; Solutions, final thoughts

The Automaton faction enemies & its mechanics at its core are fine, most enemies making complete sense. Most mechanics, while rich in function, are not very obvious. To play the faction well you need to invest some time into learning how it works. This deters the casual player back to the terminid front, which is a bit more brainless, requiring you just "hurr durr shoot bugs". Here's some solutions to consider:
Rework the devastator enemy type, specifically its specialists types:

• The rocket devastators shouldn't be able to spam their rockets as much as they do. I'd much prefer a larger barrage with a longer cooldown.
• Heavy devastators shouldn't be pin-point accurate if you're not moving / moving slowly. They do spread their shots out if you're moving, but it doesn't contribute all that much, you will still most likely take at least some hits. They're carrying a machine gun and shooting it from their hip with seemingly 0 precision. How is it that accurate?

The spawn rates of the specialist types could be reworked instead, allowing space for the default devastator instead rather than constantly spewing the specialist types. When was the last time you saw a dropship bring just normal devastators?
Please please please do something about berserkers. Lower their health pool. Maybe make the weakspots actually do something. Perhaps make them spawn less frequently if they're in the major enemy pool. Or, instead of that, make the packs smaller. They're a major ammo sink currently and by the time you're done killing them all the other enemies are already in your face.
Dropship crashes should actually do something. If I use up my support weapon's ammo to shoot down a dropship, I would want it to actually contribute to me destroying the bots, not just create a flashy explosion and extra 1-way cover for the bots.
SEAF SAM Site needs a rework of sorts. Make it always spawn on higher terrain, maybe buff its firerate (see actual SAM sites for reference), or keep the firerate as is if dropship crashes actually start doing something, instead improving its turn speed and lock-on speed. Primary issue is terrain though.
"oh yeah this spot is PERFECT for a SAM site!" said the seaf engineer after ordering it be built in a trench enclosed by cliffs from all 4 sides "what the hell is this" said the helldiver when stumbling upon it
Realistically speaking, the only people who perform well when fighting against Automatons are those who have tens of hours of experience on their belt alongside a team with similar skill level, using proper "meta" (god forbid) loadouts to properly counter the bot menace. The casual solo-queue player just crumbles.

Conclusion & Goodbyes

I may have missed some things, but I tried to grab everything problematic about the faction to the best of my ability. I will most likely not edit the post due to it already being gigantic. However any comments adding onto the post are obviously appreciated. :)
If you're here to find a tl;dr, don't bother. No way in hell I'm summarizing 11.5k+ worth of characters. Just read the analysis conclusion.
If you're here after reading everything above, thank you. I hope this was a fun read and brought attention to why you might not be having as much fun on automatons, maybe made you realize what needs to be done in order to counter the currently sluggish faction. I just hope I helped in some way.
If you're a developer, thank you for creating an amazing game. I've been in love with Helldivers 2 since the very start (upon finding it reaching sky-high popularity), enjoying every hour of gameplay. But just like with any game, it has its flaws, and I hope these are properly addressed. The community has been asking for changes, and I hope my post brought awareness to it.
Buh-bye!!!

1-1 Gunfire Battle
1-2 Gunfire Battle With Car
1-3 Gunfire Battle With Traffic
1-4 Motorcycle Passing At 55mph
1-5 Motorcycle Passing At 100mph
1-6 Chopping With An Axe
1-7 Chopping With Fallen Tree
1-8 Newspaper Leafing Through
1-9 Newspaper Ripping
1-10 Children Giggling
1-11 Drinking Through A Straw With A Gulp
1-12 Saltwater Fishing Casting Reeling And Catching Fish
1-13 Slot Machine Pull And Pay-Off
1-14 Lion Roars
1-15 Lion Growls Close Perspective
1-16 Bacon Frying
1-17 Swiss Yodel Call
1-18 Helicopter Start Up And Take Off Int Perspective
1-19 Helicopter Flying By Vers. 2
1-20 Helicopter Coming In And Landing Vers. 2
1-21 Grating Carrots
1-22 Heavy Breathing
1-23 Pay Phone Sequence
1-24 Tearing Paper Short
1-25 Tearing Paper Long
1-26 Baby Crying
1-27 Crickets At Night
1-28 Jet Taking Off
1-29 Jet Passing Overhead And Landing
1-30 Cracking Eggs
1-31 Beating Eggs In A Bowl
1-32 Horse Whinny And Neigh
1-33 Horse Gallops By
1-34 Horse Walks Up And Snorts In Stable
1-35 Man Coughing
1-36 Water Splash
1-37 Loud Large Group Applauding
1-38 Witches Evil Laugh
1-39 Pigs Grunting In A Sly
1-40 Church Clock Strikes 1 O'Clock
1-41 Church Clock Strikes 12 O'Clock
1-42 Car Won't Start
1-43 Car With Dead Battery
1-44 Car Start And Rev Engine
1-45 Car Start Rev Engine And Drive Away
1-46 Car Approach And Fast Stop
1-47 Car Approach Skid And Medium Crash
1-48 Eating Crisp Potato Chips
1-49 Shoveling Dirt On Concrete
1-50 Car Wash Interior Perspective
1-51 Referee Type Whistle
1-52 Thunder Clap Vers. 3
1-53 Wind Howling Lightly
1-54 Thunder Wind And Rain
1-55 Thunder And Heavy Down Pour
1-56 Man Screaming
1-57 Small Crowd Booing
1-58 Small Crowd Sighing Relieved
1-59 Small Crowd Gasp Astonished
1-60 Small Crowd 'Yeah' Happy
1-61 Grandfather Clock Strikes 12 0'Clock
1-62 High Performance Car Start And Idle
1-63 High Performance Car 160mph Pass R To L
1-64 Champagne Cork Popping
1-65 Millitary Jet Fast Flyby
1-66 Stirring In A Cup
1-67 Truck Horn 1 Blast
1-68 Truck Horn 2 Blasts
1-69 Truck Passing With Horn
1-70 Boxing With Punching Bag
1-71 Woman Shrieking
1-72 Vacuuming
1-73 Hydraulic Lift In Operation
1-74 Chicken Coup Atmosphere
1-75 Diving And Swimming Past
1-76 Small Group Applause
1-77 Propeller Airplane Start And Idle
1-78 Machine Gun Burst
1-79 Machine Gun Burst With Returned Fire
1-80 Wooden Bat Hitting Ball
1-81 Aluminum Bat Hitting Ball
1-82 Weight Lifting
1-83 Rocket Launching With Countdown
1-84 Taking A Shower
1-85 Electric Shaver
1-86 Brushing Teeth
1-87 Flushing Toilet
1-88 Police Car Passing With Siren
1-89 Police Car Approach And Stop With Siren
1-90 Police Car Departs With Siren
1-91 Police Radio In Operation
1-92 Kiss
1-93 Cannon Blast
1-94 Patchinco Continuous Play
1-95 Paper Bag Put On Head And Removed
1-96 Tuning Radio AM
1-97 Tuning Radio FM
1-98 Electronic Radio Alarm Sounding
1-99 Crystal Glass Ping
1-100 Rock Concert Applause With Shouts
2-1 Explosion Bang With Falling Debris
2-2 Explosion Medium Bang
2-3 Explosion Small Bang With Falling Debris
2-4 Fire Alarm
2-5 Crack Of A Whip
2-6 Elephant Trunk Noise
2-7 Angry Elephants
2-8 High Performance Car Start Drive And Stop
2-9 High Performance Car Start Up And Burn Out
2-10 High Performance Car Burn Out Vers 2
2-11 Sneeze
2-12 Crowd At A Horse Track
2-13 Water Dripping
2-14 Water Dripping With Reverberation
2-15 Filling Sink With Water
2-16 Emptying Sink
2-17 Handsaw Sawing Wood
2-18 Jigsaw In Operation
2-19 Circular Saw In Operation
2-20 Chains Rattling
2-21 4 Boings
2-22 Scissors Cutting Hair
2-23 Hair Dryer In Operation
2-24 Carnival Atmosphere
2-25 Gavel Hammering In Court
2-26 Rotary Dialing Telephone
2-27 Telephone 1 Ring / Pick Up
2-28 Hanging Up
2-29 Ship Horn 2 Blasts
2-30 Evil Male Laugh
2-31 Evil Male Laugh With Echo
2-32 Male Laugh Hysterical
2-33 Tray Of Glasses Rattling
2-34 Carbonated Water Fizzing
2-35 Airplane Jet Take Off (Jumbo Jet)
2-36 Airplane Jet Landing Vers 2
2-37 Airplane Jet Landing With Tire Squeal
2-38 Burp
2-39 Small Group Applauding With Cheers
2-40 Applause Polite Medium Group
2-41 Cow Moo
2-42 Pool (Billards) Break
2-43 Pool (Billiards) Combination Shot
2-44 Town Clock In Distance Striking 1 0'Clock
2-45 Town Clock In Distance Striking 12 0'Clock
2-46 Party Horn
2-47 Party Noise Maker
2-48 Cave With Water Dripping
2-49 Ice Cubes In A Glass
2-50 Ice Cubes In A Bucket
2-51 Jogging Past Right To Left
2-52 Jogging Past Left To Right
2-53 Car Honk
2-54 Car Long Honks
2-55 Car Several Honks
2-56 Traffic Jam Honks
2-57 Car Passing With Horn
2-58 Angry Crowd
2-59 Panic Stricken Crowd
2-60 3 Gun Shots 45 Automatic
2-61 Shotgun 1 Shot
2-62 M14 Rifle Several Shots
2-63 Elevator Door Opening
2-64 Elevator Door Closing
2-65 Elevator Lift Rider's Perspective
2-66 Bees Buzzing Around Hive
2-67 Alarm Clock Bell Sounding
2-68 Electric Fan In Operation
2-69 35mm Camera Shutter Sound
2-70 35mm Camera Auto Motor Drive
2-71 35mm Camera Automatic Sequence
2-72 Camera Flash Charge And Pop
2-73 Hammering Nails Into Wood
2-74 Door Bell Several Rings
2-75 Knocking On Door And Door Opens
2-76 Heartbeat
2-77 'Surprise' At Party
2-78 Car Fast Approach And Stop
2-79 Car Approach Skid And Crash
2-80 Car Approach Long Skid And Big Crash
2-81 Car Skid And Tire Squeal
2-82 Writing On Blackboard
2-83 Fingernails On Blackboard
2-84 Velcro Ripping
2-85 Propeller Airplane Taking Off Ext Perspective
2-86 Air Pump
2-87 Movie Camera Old Clockwork Type
2-88 Donkey Hee Haws
2-89 Newsroom General Atmosphere
2-90 Coins Dropped On Table
2-91 Coins Being Counted
2-92 Coins Jingling
2-93 Duck Quack
2-94 Scrubbing Floor With A Brush
2-95 Rain Continuous Downpour
2-96 Thunder Clap Vers 2
2-97 Thunder And Rain Storm
2-98 Wind Blowing Through Trees
2-99 Rocket
2-100 Wolf Howling Human Simulation
3-1 Bowling Alley General Atmosphere
3-2 Bowling Gutter Ball
3-3 Bowling Strike
3-4 Soda Can Opening
3-5 Soda Pouring In Glass
3-6 Telephone 3 Rings And Pick Up
3-7 Telephone Slammed Down
3-8 Rooster Crowing
3-9 Woman Screaming
3-10 Sipping Coffee
3-11 Cork Pulled With Reverberation
3-12 Crowd 'Oh' Disappointed
3-13 Crowd 'Ahh' Satisfied
3-14 Crowd Urgh Disgusted
3-15 Steam Train Passing By
3-16 Bugle Call Outdoors - Charge
3-17 Bugle Call - Post Time
3-18 Bugle Call - Fanfare
3-19 Bugle Call - Parade Dismiss
3-20 Bugle Call - Fall In
3-21 Bugle Call - Lights Out
3-22 Bugle Call - Military Taps
3-23 Bugle Call - Retreat
3-24 Bugle Call - Revue
3-25 Bugle Call - Reveille
3-26 Belch
3-27 Baby Laugh
3-28 Domestic Car Alarm
3-29 Domestic Car Door Opening
3-30 Domestic Car Door Clossing
3-31 Domestic Car Crash With Yell
3-32 Domestic Car Approach And Skid
3-33 Horse Trots Up And Snorts Outside
3-34 Horse Whinny And Neigh Outside
3-35 Horse Canters By Outside
3-36 Hellcopter Start Up And Take Off Vers 1
3-37 Helicopter Flying By Vers 1
3-38 Helicopter Coming In And Landing Vers 1
3-39 Applause Concert Crowd With Cheers
3-40 Drinking Fountain Turned On And Off
3-41 Drinking Fountain Taking A Drink
3-42 Roller Coaster In Operation
3-43 Fight Bell 2 Strikes
3-44 Cuckoo Clock Strikes 1
3-45 Cuckoo Clock Strikes 12
3-46 Record Needle Scratch
3-47 Ambulance Passing With Siren
3-48 HiFi Store With Radios And TV's
3-49 Sizzle Light
3-50 Sizzle Heavy
3-51 High Performance Car Start, Idle, Rev, And Stop
3-52 High Performance Car Burn Out
3-53 High Performance Car High Speed Pass 150mph
3-54 Coffee Grinder
3-55 Coffee Perculator
3-56 Ball Bouncing
3-57 Ball Bouncing Away
3-58 Thunder Clap
3-59 Thunder Continuous Claps And Rumbles
3-60 Wind Howling Heavily
3-61 Thunder And Rain In The City
3-62 After Storm Atmosphere
3-63 Bicycle Bell
3-64 Shuffling Cards
3-65 Dealing Cards
3-66 Fireworks General Atmosphere
3-67 A Glass Clinking In A Toast
3-68 Many Glasses Clinking In A Toast
3-69 Game Show Buzzer
3-70 Sweeping The Floor
3-71 Broom Dropped
3-72 Submarine Sonar
3-73 Mantal Clock Clicking
3-74 Many Clocks Ticking
3-75 Cats Meow 3 Types
3-76 Cash Register Ring Up
3-77 Social Gathering Party Crowd
3-78 Tray Of Dishes Dropped
3-79 Zipper Zipped Up
3-80 Zipper Zipped Down
3-81 Dog Many Barks
3-82 Dog Growling And Barking
3-83 Dog Chasing Man And Barking
3-84 Ratchet Tightening Nut
3-85 Wind Chimes
3-86 Door Opening
3-87 Door Closed
3-88 Door Slammed
3-89 Many Party Horns
3-90 Balloon Being Inflated
3-91 Balloon Let Go Flying
3-92 Balloon Popped
3-93 Balloon Popped With Reverberation
3-94 Video Archade Atmosphere
3-95 Opening An Envelope
3-96 Crumpling A Letter And Throwing Away
3-97 Airplane Jet Taking Off
3-98 Airplane Jet Flyby Overhead Right To Left
3-99 Airplane Jet Interior With Cabin Announcements
3-100 Airplane Jet Landing Vers 1

Start
Previous
It took some time to retrace her steps out of the near-maze that was the Scroll-Hive. By the time Mira was walking through the garden in the mess hall, the chime sounded again over the ship intercom, announcing that they had arrived in orbit around the second moon.
Breathless, Mira had raced to the bridge, but even as she was going to pull up the initial scan screen she could see a glowing green indicator that another radiation profile had been found, this time on the far side of the planetoid.
“How did we possibly detect-” she started to say in confusion, before the swarm began filling the space on the bridge.
“Our apologies for not notifying you earlier, caretaker. We took the liberty of calibrating the sensors to the specific radiation profile detected in the debris The Apiary detected on the first moon. We knew this would result in a more-restricted search, but also allows for a much broader and rapid scan, with the added benefit of being able to detect the radiation profile through anything not blocking the emission source. Fortunately, these moons appear quite porous, so the scan was able to detect the faint match almost as soon as we reached orbit.”
Mira pivoted the console over to her chair, keying in a series of commands as she placed a navigation marker on the detected point. However, as she reached to key in the autopilot commands, she paused as the queen landed on the back of her hand.
“Caretaker, please remember that the circumstances here suggest the wreck of the Korindax may not have been accidental. It is not unheard of for raiders and pirates of all backgrounds to lure ships and passersbys with appearances of helplessness and others in need.”
She could feel her throat starting to tighten at the thought of this all being for nothing and just another dead end, or worse. Setting her jaw, Mira tried to avoid letting herself lash out at Queen and Kin as she knew they were trying to look out for what was best for her safety, even if it felt like another barrier was being thrown in front of her and her hopes of reuniting with her missing parents.
Mira winced, realizing she had been twisting a finger into a lock of her hair so hard that it threatened to pull at the roots, and she felt the buzz as the queen began speaking personally.
”Caretaker, that this is not to say we cannot investigate, only that we exercise caution in doing so. Let's perform a flyover from orbit and capture additional data before we descend. If your parents are still surviving there, another few hours after a decade apart will make little difference.”
She wanted to race down there more than anything, but a part of Mira knew that the swarm was right. Turning back to the console, she deleted the landing instructions and instead began programming in the flyover pass grid, this time a much tighter pattern that would only take a quarter hour or so to complete.
Sitting in the mess hall, Mira did her best to avoid dwelling on the scan as she grabbed a quick bite to eat. Her stomach had protested loudly as she initially thought she could just sit and wait on the bridge itself, and she had been in the tangle of the Scroll-Hive for more hours than she realized.
Although she would never have admitted it to Queen and Kin with the way they were trying to overprotect her, she could feel a deep, bone-weary ache as she was now approaching almost a full twenty-four hours without sleep, adrenaline having provided the energy she needed at first but now demanding compensation in spades. Stifling a yawn, Mira could still feel it escaping through clenched teeth when she tried to avoid giving any visible sign of her tiredness away.
Nevertheless, she could feel as if she was going slightly cross-eyed, with food resting unchewed in her mouth, when the alert chime sounded throughout the ship. It surprised her, and Mira had to do an awkward half-cough to avoid inhaling the dried apple crisps she was eating, clearing her throat repeatedly as she stumbled her way onto the bridge.
“Caretaker, are you quite all right?”
The swarm has already pulled up the scan data and Mira waved away their concerns dismissively as her attention focused on the readout display.
“Yes yes, I'm fine. Although when this is all over, I'm going to nap for a week in that stasis pod.”
“Well, to the best of our knowledge the stasis pod does not actually result in a restful REM sleep, but rather creates a simultaneous full-body preservation in suspension, so we're not sure it's exactly-”
“Right, yeah, whatever,” she said, all of her attention focusing on the scan results as she felt the tiredness partially bleed away, although bone-deep ache of impending exhaustion was still there.
“We monitored as the results came in, and want to ensure you are prepared, caretaker.”
Mira was still only half listening as she could feel a complex churn of emotions in the pit of her stomach. The readout showed the distinct profile outline of an escape pod, intact as opposed to scattered wreckage that would have surely meant they were killed on impact, but also with no signs otherwise of life whatsoever. Giving the perimeter of the scan a quick look through, Mira punched in the landing sequence for the autopilot, shooting a sideways glance at the nearest cluster of Queen and Kin as she did so.
“I don't see any signs of pirates, raiders, or other attempts at ambush. Hell, I'm not even sure there is anything on this planetoid smart enough to string two words together, so I don't want to delay any longer.”
“Very well, caretaker, but if we may offer you some words of advice-”
“I know, I know: Keep an eye out for any signs of trouble anyways, just in case.”
This time Mira could almost hear a smile in the tone of the swarm.
“While prudent, that is not what we wished to say. Instead, we feel the need to point out that the lack of any kind of visible evidence of farming or other long-term sustainable food sourcing would likely mean little to no attempts at long-term survival were made. While the Wandering Empire’s proximity and involvement is still a possible factor, the likely outcomes for this are either that your escape pod is empty, or that it is not.”
It took a moment for Mira to realize what the hive was saying, and she could feel tears spring to the corner of her eyes that she blinked away, gritting her teeth and doing her best to take a calm breath as she said “I understand, but either way I have to know.”
As the ship rumbled and groaned on its landing vector, Mira's mind was turning over the possibilities in her head. She was trying her best to be optimistic about it, but every piece of evidence she could point to said that her parents had not scraped out an existence on this barren moon like she had desperately and naively hoped. She wasn't sure what she had expected to see: Maybe farmlands stretching across and away from their crashed escape pod site, a building built from stones or trees despite the landscape lacking much beyond scrubby grass-like plants and gravel-sized chunks of rock.
As they landed, Queen and Kin spoke as she suited up.
“The atmosphere here is more conducive to extended existence than the other moon, so for you or other humans it would be as if you were simply atop a large mountain, with air thin but breathable. Unfortunately, we will have to refrain from accompanying you as we would require our vacuum suit again, and we have other preparations to make before heading off wherever our next journey takes us.”
Mira knew that the swarm would have come with her in a heartbeat if she'd asked, but she appreciated that they had put on the appearance of being preoccupied so as to avoid her having asked them to stay behind. The planetoid was too small and sparse to support any kind of dangerous larger predators, and the all the scans turned up negative for any other signs of a trap or ambush.
Mira felt no concern for herself, at least in the physical sense, as she stepped out and onto the moon. A light breeze blew past here, and she could feel as her lungs couldn't quite capture as much air as they would prefer if she could do a deep breath, but she much preferred to be panting slightly rather than have a ventilator to deal with.
She strode to the pod, a few hundred yards away and on the same flat plane. This time there was no hill or ridges to obscure it; Instead, she tried steadily towards the silent and unmoving shape, easy to see from almost anywhere this side of the horizon thanks to how relatively featureless this moon was.
There were a few grassy indents here and there were meteoroids had shattered and punched holes in that the scrubby brush underfoot had grown back into fill. At one point, Mira stumbled and nearly felt her ankle twist in one such hole. Cursing under her breath, she climbed out of the depression and continued walking towards the pod.
Finally she was close enough that throwing a rock underhand could have hit it easily, but remembering the Queen and Kin’s warning, she paused and did a slow circle around. The view window was darkened from reentry, cracked with a few broken panels here and there but too dark and it too steep of an angle to make out anything inside. The exterior was similarly scorched but free of any clear signs of laser fire or other weaponry.
Stepping closer, she reached out to touch the pod, almost flinching as if she expected it to shake or react. Instead it was mostly-cool, warm on the highest points that were catching direct sunlight but the rest of the metal still almost icy to the touch.
She could feel her throat clench even as she forced it to obey, calling out “Hello? Is there anybody there?”
Walking up to the side and the entry doorway, she can see the doorway hung open slightly, It was bent along the edge, but not in a way that made it clear if this was damage sustained on impact, or after the fact. She rapped on it with her suited knuckles, the sharp sound echoing both within the pod and across the barren landscape.
Still hearing no response, Mira gently pushed the door open and stepped inside. Immediately, she noticed there was a musty odor within, and signs of some sort of struggle. Almost every drawer and storage container had been opened and upended, and there were several clear scuff and scrape marks along the floor near the door, as if someone had been digging in desperately with a tool or implement while another force is moving them away.
As her eyes lifted up to the quartet of seats, she saw that while three of them hung empty with buckles dangling in the still and dusty air, she could see a desiccated and half-rotted hand sitting on the other.
Every instinct in her was telling her to run to turn away, to leave and never return, but Mira instead forced herself to take a step forward, and then another towards the front of the pod.
The rotted arm led up into a pockmarked uniform, the insignia matching that of the members aboard the Glyph of Korindax. Against her wishes and hopes, Mira gritted her teeth and bit back tears at what she was about to see as she looked up to stare the corpse in the face.
If you want to read more, the novel is now available on Amazon!
Enjoying this tale? Check out DarkPrinceLibrary for more of my stories like it!
Huge thanks to all the readers for their amazing support. Got the manuscript finished editing two months to the day after the initial prompt was posted, and I'm excited to have my second 300+ page book under my belt. Regular short stories from me will resume soon!

i need help or advice
My 1yo female shepherd mix who is very active and energetic had an allergic reaction on Tuesday night (puffiness, swollen tongue). We brought her to the ER and she got a shot of Benadryl. Seemed better and was discharged. Next morning she was 10x worse with hives, face completely swollen etc and we brought her to the ER again at 5am. She got a shot of steroid and was sent home. She was also prescribed Prednisone (12/12hrs) and Benadryl (8/8hrs). We did the medication as prescribed and late that night she had another reaction and we again, brought her back and she got another shot of Benadryl. The following day she was throwing up and having diarrhea but no hives or signs of allergies. We made an appointment for the same day at our vet and we went over the same story and she did some blood work where our vet said her blood work came back higher than usual but her organs were normal numbers. She was given a shot of nausea medication with B12 if im not wrong and asked to be on a bland diet. We have no idea what could’ve cause the allergy so far.
Since then my dog has not been the same. All she does is sleep and lack energy which is very unlike her. We have another dog who she plays with non stop and even that, she won’t do. All her medication is now gone for 3 days and she is lacking energy and wants nothing to do with anyone or anything. She seems happy when we get home and is ok for a walk but is not being herself.
I called the vet again this morning and she said to do X-rays tomorrow or the next day.
Does anyone have any advice on what might be causing the lack of energy?!?! She is eating & drinking water.
I need my baby back!

My 1yo female shepherd mix who is very active and energetic had an allergic reaction on Tuesday night (puffiness, swollen tongue). We brought her to the ER and she got a shot of Benadryl. Seemed better and was discharged. Next morning she was 10x worse with hives, face completely swollen etc and we brought her to the ER again at 5am. She got a shot of steroid and was sent home. She was also prescribed Prednisone (12/12hrs) and Benadryl (8/8hrs). We did the medication as prescribed and late that night she had another reaction and we again, brought her back and she got another shot of Benadryl. The following day she was throwing up and having diarrhea but no hives or signs of allergies. We made an appointment for the same day at our vet and we went over the same story and she did some blood work where our vet said her blood work came back higher than usual but her organs were normal numbers. She was given a shot of nausea medication with B12 if im not wrong and asked to be on a bland diet. We have no idea what could’ve cause the allergy so far.
Since then my dog has not been the same. All she does is sleep and lack energy which is very unlike her. We have another dog who she plays with non stop and even that, she won’t do. All her medication is now gone for 3 days and she is lacking energy and wants nothing to do with anyone or anything. She seems happy when we get home and is ok for a walk but is not being herself.
I called the vet again this morning and she said to do X-rays tomorrow or the next day.
Does anyone have any advice on what might be causing the lack of energy?!?! She is eating & drinking water.
I need my baby back!

It started I think during 2015 possibly as I had migraines suddenly occuring, and I had severe allergic reactions like hives and swelling mouth after emotional distress. I had trauma when I was a teenager teenager but I only suffered from anxiety and depression in the past which didn't cause this.
I noticed that I would start to get physically sick when stressed, I would develop cysts under my arms and I started getting chest infections often. I was in an abusive relationship for 7 years which I finally broke free from in 2016 or 2017... I started getting migraines even more frequently.
I was physically attacked at work at one point, quite badly, I couldn't go back and had to leave.
I started a job at a new place, I hadn't got body pain other than my back injury pains like my shoulders, as I had a head injury which hit down my neck. I had an injury of my lower back and sciatica but I had actually not had pain there for years... Only problems with pain when I was quite over weight.
In 2020 the pain started... I had to single handedly start a new job I had never worked and then I was kind of left at the deep end to figure it all out and fast, there was a lot of bullying there too. Then I had a potassium deficiency suddenly, it was so hot and I apparently sweat it out plus I had an IBS flare up which had also started to occur more frequently after 2014... The doctors then scared me after I had probably recovered, since my blood doesn't react like normal in test tubes when I have a potassium test, so it gives a false reading... So they kept thinking I was extremely sick, when in fact I was ok... It's complicated... So I had that for a year and my body started getting severely worse then.
Then I had to leave my job because of bullying and I couldn't cope, I was beginning to get bad brain fog worse than ever, memory worse and other symptoms along with not being able to be on my feet for long, sciatica was worse too.
Now I can hardly work on my feet, I am struggling with severe pain when I do try to work full-time. At one point I had migraines everyday for a month! Now thankfully only during my period...
I have to be on anti depressants to try and stop my stress levels going too high, my IBS suddenly got so bad I would start to throw up and have diarrhea when slightly anxious...
I have to take strong anti allergy medication because I get hives often and it itches so much, I don't get them when I am having time off work, just when I am about to start work the next day..
So I had more trauma from my family, my step dad died and one side of the family caused more pain for me recently, I had another mental breakdown and it's like my symptoms are even worse after each time and I never recover... It's like my body just breaks more and more.
My whole body just burns and hurts if I try to work normal hours, I hate feeling like I am getting sick always.
Is this normal for fybro? I have been diagnosed but I am having a second oppoion incase it's something else.
My hands stop working sometimes too now.

New Missions
Bugs: Search and Destroy: Regicide
A Bug queen has surfaced for {Insert Reason Here} and our Helldivers need to eliminate her.
During the mission she will move from point A to point B, escorted by a larger force. She will make no attempt to engage the players, completely focused on getting to her objective. Players must eliminate her while she calls in more reinforcements before the timer runs out.
Bots: Search and Destroy: Siege
There is an Automaton base in the shape of a large “X” that is packed with foundries and enemies that needs to be eliminated.
Players cannot land inside the base so they must land outside and plan their attack. At each point on the base there is a randomly generated secondary objective structure(Detection Tower, AA defense, Mortar Battery, Stratgem Jammer, Gunship Factory, etc.).
In the center of the base is the primary objective, a tower that must be shutdown using two separate consoles that will require an SSDD inserted to blow it up like the air tower.
Universal: Escort: Precious Cargo
Players must escort a large mule carrying precious cargo to its extraction point. Players will be attacked by periodic enemy waves while it moves to its location.
Enemy Suggestions:
New - Impaler - The classic from Helldivers 1 i think would be a good addition to change up the bug games in place of chargers all the time.
New - Spawn Host + Thermites - Large charger sized enemy that spawns exploding scavengers colored red. Think like a living siege engine for bugs.
New - Hulk Ravager - Has a shield and a hammer. The shield is an energy shield that can block for enemies behind it while still allowing them to attack while the hammer can be used to slam the ground and cause tremors.
New - Handler + Maulers - One large Hulk sized bot with two claw arms and a basket with human bodies in it on its back. It travels with 3-5 “Dogs” called Maulers that hunt enemies for it. When the Maulers are destroyed it opens its mouth and spawns 3-5 more, also allowing players to hurl grenades inside them to deal damage and kill them.
Change - Stalkers should instead skirt the edges of a fight and pull a player towards them with their tongue attack, instead of pushing them away during an attack combo. This way they can isolate players from their teams.
Change - Standard Devastators occasionally throw grenades. Adds something subtle but unique addition to Standard Devastators.
Change - Heavy Devastators are less accurate. Heavy Devastators are far too accurate at longer ranges with their weapons making maps with long line of sight very difficult to contend with, even at long range.
Change - Nursing Bile Spewers need to be different in some way to Bile Spewers outside just “I’m you but weaker” how about they deal less damage but apply an area of slowness when they vomit and explode for a time?
All Bugs Slowing effects need to be reworked on a Bug to Bug basis. Spitters should not cause a strong of a slow as they do as in their numbers they can perma-slow a player when running away from a larger enemy(Also they don’t even need a direct hit to cause the slow apparently). Hunters also apply far too strong of a slow, meanwhile I would argue Bile Titans should have a much more intense slow.
All Bots need to account for vision blocking terrain. Too many times has a player been mapped by a rocket fired from a location unseen and too often do players round a corner to get hit by shots fired before they even turned the corner.
Bugs and Bots occasionally call for reinforcements, even after they have died but before they could finish the calling animation.
All enemies should have a pool of active enemies and they should be assigned to a slot to better balance games out. For example:Factory Walkers&Bile Titans are Super Heavy Enemies, Chargers/Brood Commanders&Hulks are heavy enemies, Devastators/Scout Walkers&Warriors/Hive Guards/Bile Spewers are Medium enemies, etc. This way the AI can be programmed to limit and add enemies as the game unfolds but not overwhelm players. I have had games where on a defense mission 6 Bile Titans were summoned at once which was literally impossible for us to stop from destroying the generators but the next mission was so easy it felt like a level 4 on a helldive.
JTFM:
Two teams of helldivers will perform a joint task force mission(JTFM) where they raid a heavily populated enemy objective. Perhaps they are attacking a Bug Hive Mind or crippling a Bot mothership.
These JTFM will be difficult and will require a wide array of stratagems and even some that are not allowed as part of the mission parameters to really challenge players. Perhaps one where players can only use weapons, minefields, turrets and backpacks as they are underground and these stratagems will be deployed via drill pods that dig through the planet to arrive at points like in Deep Rock Galactic.
This could be a great challenge for players who want extremely difficult linear missions requiring teamwork beyond normal missions.
Existing Missions:
Eradication, Extract Valuable Assets and Evacuation missions should have the map layout shown to players when deciding what stratagems to play. This is especially important in the High Value Asset missions as one mission layout is hard to use eagles due to the high peaks between the lane while the other supports such perfectly.
It would also be nice to see the Extract Valuable Assets mission better balanced towards bugs as Chargers and Titans just demolish doors easily and virtually any bug can call for a bug breach anywhere in the lane often forcing players into situations where winning is all but impossible very early into these missions.
New Factions:
Mutant Faction - Horrific mutants created by Super Earth in experiments that have escaped and gone rogue. Focuses on Cosmic horror, inhuman shaped enemies, unearthly enemies and so on. I recommend using games like GTFO, R6: Siege’s Outbreak event and its “Successor” R6: Extraction, Hunt: Showdown, and Back 4 Blood and movies like The Thing for visual examples of enemies.
Dissident Faction - Humans who have denounced Super Earth.
Stratagems:
NEW - Gunship Support - Calls a Pelican outfitted with two additional guns to hover above the location firing at enemies.
Buff - Machine gun Turret - Becomes a Heavy Machine gun as in all aspects it is outclassed by the chaingun turret. With a medium armour pen it can be better used against bots.
Buff - Missile Turret - Add Heat seeking to missiles to help them better track larger but faster enemies(Scother Hulks, Brood Commanders, Stalkers, etc.) and makes them decent at shooting down gunships.
Buff - Orbital Gatling Barrage - Upgraded to Medium Armour Pen to make it more appealing vs Bots and increase its duration slightly.
Change - Guard Dog - Add “Bulldog” to name and give unlimited ammo. Nobody uses it due to the fact it needs ammo from supplies. Instead just make it need to reload every so often.
NEW - Guard Dog “Hellhound” - Incendiary round Guard Dog. lower RPM but deals fire damage.
Change - Land Mines - Reduced cooldown. When a player calls in the stratagem, all previously placed landmines of that type placed by that player are destroyed.
Change - 380mm Barrage - Altered to NOT hit the center of the beacon so it acts like an artillery shield for allies inside it, increase the barrage count and it should see more play.
NEW - Deliverance Walker - The HD1 Lumberer walker but instead of the flamethrower it has the machine gun from the machine gun turret.
NEW - Redeemer Walker - Uses a Flamethrower and a melee weapon that sweeps the area in front of it like a hammer for example. (Flavor text is that it is used by Helldivers who wish to make amends for their fallen comrades' failures in battle.)
NEW - Razorwire Barrier - Slows small enemies and damages them, only slows medium enemies and heavy enemies can destroy it entirely.
Change - Orbital Smoke+SEAF Smoke Rounds - Smoke cloud needs to be at least double the size to really be worth using.
NEW - UAV Drone - Bring back the Humble Bee. When called the area around the controlling player will highlight enemies, even through walls as well as automatically identify secondary objectives and points of interest.
NEW - Flamethrower Turret - Very Self Explanatory
Change - Machinegun & Heavy Machinegun - Reload time needs to be reduced. The weapons are not useful enough to warrant requiring a whole cutscene to finish a reload. All machine guns, including the Stalwart, should be able to move and reload, with their balancing factor being reload speed and recoil. I loved using the Heavy Machine gun for a while until it required so much ammunition to keep loaded and being forced to stand still to reload for a weapon not nearly impactful enough to warrant using it over a primary weapon and running any anti-tank weapon.
Planetary Biomes and Hazards:
Dense Forest + Carnivorous Plants - Planet is one giant forest, very few open spaces to work with. The map is also littered with hostile plants for both sides including an instant kill venus fly trap style plant.
Gravity Fluctuations - Map fluctuates between high and low gravity. High Gravity reduces the range of weapons and movement speed for ally and enemy and Low Gravity does the vise-versa.
High Tide/Low Tide - Very water based map where the water level changes making shallow beaches into deep waters where players can drown. All objectives and interactable points of interest are on high ground but other more “Interesting” points of interest may be in these areas only exposed during low tide.
A Note on Weather Effects: Weather Effects should be applied simultaneously to both players and enemies. This would both make things feel less like weather is purely a downside and opens up potential for stratagems and weapons not normally chosen right now. For example what if on Intense Heat planets enemies are more vulnerable to fire. What if on cold planets enemies also have reduced rate of fire and movement speed. What if Ion Storms also prevent enemies from reinforcing(Bug Breach/Bot Drop).
Warbond Ideas:
Flames of Liberty - Fire weapon focused warbond. Fire bomb launcher, Flame Slugger shotgun, Incendiary Liberator, etc. Dragons breath shotgun pistols.
Desolation Complex - Chemical weapons warbond focusing on Chemical, Radiological and Biological weaponry. Chemical Launcher, Contagion Grenade, Irradiated Diligence, etc.
Armour Passives:
Skirmisher - Regenerates health over time. Stims no longer heal instantly, instead double the health regen and grant a speed boost for the duration of the stim..
Sentinel - Buffs nearby turrets(Buffs will need to be on a case-by-case basis) and by marking enemies the player can direct the turrets fire.

• Machine gun & Chain gun- Damage buff
• Autocannon & Missile Launcher - RoF buff
• Mortar & EMS Mortar - Blast radius buff

Gunner - 30% reduced recoil and 25% faster reload of heavy weapon
Trench Fighter - 50% increased damage from fire sources and increased melee knockback.
Weapons:
Liberator Penetrator - Match the damage of the standard Liberator. The penetrator already has a smaller mag size and more recoil. Reducing the damage is just the nail in the coffin for using it over other weapons with Medium armour pen.
Peacekeeper, Verdict and any future pistols - Add a gun sight. It's awkward to use when the weapon has only iron sights.
Slugger - I agreed the Slugger needed a nerf but I think you nerfed it too much. The weapon was heavily used more because at the time we only had it, The Liberator Penetrator listed above and the Dominator which isn't very good at shorter ranges. Return its stagger power and it should do fine.
Breaker Spray n’ Prey - 50rd mag size, 1.5x the pellet load over the Breaker and increase its RoF to 400. Lower its stagger to need a near constant stream of shots to stumble the enemy.
Show stats for all support weapon's please
Miscellaneous:
Helldiver teams expanded to 5 - There has been discussion on increasing the number of players on a Helldiver team. Most team games have 5 man squads and I think this may be the best balance to the game.
Turret Damage Resistance - Recently a stratagem upgrade gave turrets explosive resistance and yet they still die VERY quickly to enemy fire and even in the case of Bugs i still find it annoying that Chargers just run into them to kill them. It makes turrets too difficult to bother with when they die quickly and have such a long cooldown.Turrets need to be able to at least get off 25% of their shots before they outright die in most situations, otherwise what is the point?
Armour Balancing - Heavy armor needs staggeknockdown resistance. What good is being slower and tougher if you still get staggered and knocked down with every hit from a bigger enemy.
Grenades destroying bug holes, factories, etc. - Any grenade thrown into the opening should close the hole, otherwise players are incentivized to avoid non-explosive grenades or grenades that cannot destroy them.
Bot Gunships and Bug Shriekers nerf - Both of these enemies do not allow players to be stealthy, they force them to go in with heavy weapons blazing because they autodetect the player and never stop chasing them until either they or the player has been killed. It forces players into picking items they may not otherwise want to bring and removes some of the players ability to experiment with other equipment.
Community decisions on planet liberation - Recently as of the making of this document, players were given a choice of unlocking an Air burst launcher or anti-tank mines. However neither planet was unlocked when the order went live. Players had to dig up information to find out how that was not part of the game. Furthermore the planet linked to the Air burst was a cold planet and the AT-mines was a hot planet. Hot planets are significantly harder than cold planets and most missions on that hot planet had only three stratagems allowed. The choice was basically set up to fail before it was ever made. Players should have had both options unlocked and available immediately as right now most of the players i played with since wanted the Mines but either didn’t understand why the planet wasn’t unlocked or realized both planets linked to it were extremely hard to fight on and didn’t enjoy the grind.

1. Carlin had a big week of giggles and guffaws for the camera. She took an influencer trip to Skyland Ranch, used a Billie Eilish song on an IG reel of her children and then gaslit her audience into believing she and Evan have well known catchphrases “CrAAzy”, “Love, Bye” and “bruh”. They slapped these random words on hats and TShirts and people STOOD IN THE RAIN to buy them. I saw a grown azz man in a “BRUH” hat. Other wild things that happened at their Cash and Carry sale included someone taking pics of their kids in front of the Tesla, referring to the dresses as “she” and calling their vlog “vloggy”.I have cringed too much over all of it. Layla put on a full show for the camera at a nail salon AND the dance studio while Zade earned his keep wearing pretend high heel shoes. They wrapped it all up in a big terrible bow by featuring Hobby Lobby.
   
2. Whitney played second fiddle all week to Carlin… folding shirts, holding babies and modeling Temu dresses that they marked up 347%. Zach was back in the Bates Kitchen this week and decided the best way to get views was to bring in the kids so we got to watch Kacie mix and mess and poke around in cake mix and canned frosting to concoct cake pops. Then the grossest thing happened… ZACH BATES FARTED. During a COOKING SHOW. IN THE KITCHEN. I mean he ripped a big ole juicy poot and they all laughed and decided to air it and then they SOLD those dang FART POPS at the Cash and Carry sale. He also made some terrible Psychology jokes. I bet soon enough they will have “fart pops” on a hat for sale.
   
3. The Balka crowd were living it up this week in a 600$ a night beachfront condo that included a beach chair service. This family trip was really just a content mill and man did Josie churn it out. She is full on exploiting her children while drowning in a sea of beige. What has happened that she is suddenly, desperately pouring out content on every platform… did Kelton tell her she needed to make some money to pay for her Sephora habit OR is a product launch in the works? Our Fundie Kim K.is pushing links while living life through a gauzy filter featuring tinkly music.
   
4. Katie had to let Travis go on this fake tour, but not before she let all the groupies know that was her mans. Trav said he was only singing 3 or 4 songs at each show so tell me again why they moved from Jersey for THIS? Speaking of Jersey, the vlog featured just a blip of the Clark family and it looks like GiGi has been drowning her sorrows by remodeling at her house. Katie got them back to the hive as quickly as possible and spent her week with Carlin and co at the playground and pool.
   
5. Lydia is bored bc she is married to Trace. All of her photography skills are now used to take pics of sneakers, weights, water bottles and pickleball. This crew has been featuring Lydia’s family pretty heavily lately, including spending Mothers Day with them where they made small talk with Trace and pretended to like him. Trace spilled the beans that his parents gave away all the pets at the big house while simultaneously telling us that Lawson doesn’t take care of Duke bc he gets dropped off there at least once a month. Later they debuted 40 minutes of Trace painting Lydia’s face like it was a fence while mouth breathing. Lydia’s mom called to show her the pet emu eating cherries and that was the best darn thing they have shown us in months. More emu please-less Trace!
   
6. Michael and Brandon brought in the professionals this week and exploited Layla and Zade Stewart. Layla is as good as any second year stage student at this point… BUT Aunt Michael has rules so she had to slow her role. Brandon was excited to draw Layla a princess after 3 weeks of sharks and whales… honestly everything he draws sort of looks the same. They also went to Honea Path to see Poppa Bill and Momma Jane who was smiling that it wasn’t one of the grands with 18 kids.
   
7. Down in passive-aggressive land Alyssa Webster told the tale of how all FOUR of her girls were asked to be flower girls and how that had NEVER happened and how SPECIAL that was. After several posts exclaiming her undying devotion and love to “buddy” she showed off the bad 80’s prom dress she was given by that dress shop she promotes. If a flame came anywhere near her it would have been all she wrote for Mrs. Webster. That dress was awful… but not as bad as the one she was gifted from BSB(which she called “my sister’s boutique”). The vlog shows John being an absolute jerk while Alyssa sneers and snarls and tries very hard not to say that her Mother’s Day sucked. It did suck and in order to make it up to her, daddy Webster put on a button down shirt and took her to the Cheesecake Factory. After all of the slap happy crappy birthday parties and Christmases she has given her girls… she expected WHAT for Mother’s Day??
   
8. Lawson made an absolute fool of himself while revealing the worst kept secret ever… it’s a boy, yall. Michael and Brandon punished themselves by throwing the party and doing all of the work while Tiffy and Lawson preened for the camera and asked people over and over what their guess was. This was filmed on I Love You Day weekend at the IBLP leaders church so this is old, old footage aaand these people are all perfectly fine with what their dad does. Tiffy and Law made it a point to say there was a bigger crowd than was at their wedding. Tiffy cried after finding out she is carrying a little Lawson and Duke was nowhere to be found. I do think he congratulated them on IG though, so all is good.
   
9. Oh Erin… what a week you had. You got Momma and Daddy Bates all to yourself for Mothers Day and for Carson/Charles’ birthday. Gil and KJ also picked up a nice paycheck for speaking and preaching at the Paine’s new church. Even though Erin happily joined a church that prides itself on promoting the corporal punishment of children, she still put together a glowing reel for Carson/Charles’ special day that featured him down at it at his second job of brothermomming. Not one picture of herself with the child was included. Later Erin threw a free notebook in with her construction paper cards as an incentive to buy. Free paper for buying paper is super exciting, right?
   
10. Bits and Bytes… Jadon and Layla are the same height. The Utah photographer that Alyssa used is followed by ALL of the Bates. Every one of these Trad Wives are now promoting Easy plants. Why can’t Zach have any closeups in his cooking videos? Jeb/Jud broke his arm.
    

Have a great week friends and… how many Baptists does it takes to change a lightbulb…. CHANGE?!? Who mentioned CHANGE!?🫠😜

1. Carlin had a big week of giggles and guffaws for the camera. She took an influencer trip to Skyland Ranch, used a Billie Eilish song on an IG reel of her children and then gaslit her audience into believing she and Evan have well known catchphrases “CrAAzy”, “Love, Bye” and “bruh”. They slapped these random words on hats and TShirts and people STOOD IN THE RAIN to buy them. I saw a grown azz man in a “BRUH” hat. Other wild things that happened at their Cash and Carry sale included someone taking pics of their kids in front of the Tesla, referring to the dresses as “she” and calling their vlog “vloggy”.I have cringed too much over all of it. Layla put on a full show for the camera at a nail salon AND the dance studio while Zade earned his keep wearing pretend high heel shoes. They wrapped it all up in a big terrible bow by featuring Hobby Lobby.
   
2. Whitney played second fiddle all week to Carlin… folding shirts, holding babies and modeling Temu dresses that they marked up 347%. Zach was back in the Bates Kitchen this week and decided the best way to get views was to bring in the kids so we got to watch Kacie mix and mess and poke around in cake mix and canned frosting to concoct cake pops. Then the grossest thing happened… ZACH BATES FARTED. During a COOKING SHOW. IN THE KITCHEN. I mean he ripped a big ole juicy poot and they all laughed and decided to air it and then they SOLD those dang FART POPS at the Cash and Carry sale. He also made some terrible Psychology jokes. I bet soon enough they will have “fart pops” on a hat for sale.
   
3. The Balka crowd were living it up this week in a 600$ a night beachfront condo that included a beach chair service. This family trip was really just a content mill and man did Josie churn it out. She is full on exploiting her children while drowning in a sea of beige. What has happened that she is suddenly, desperately pouring out content on every platform… did Kelton tell her she needed to make some money to pay for her Sephora habit OR is a product launch in the works? Our Fundie Kim K.is pushing links while living life through a gauzy filter featuring tinkly music.
   
4. Katie had to let Travis go on this fake tour, but not before she let all the groupies know that was her mans. Trav said he was only singing 3 or 4 songs at each show so tell me again why they moved from Jersey for THIS? Speaking of Jersey, the vlog featured just a blip of the Clark family and it looks like GiGi has been drowning her sorrows by remodeling at her house. Katie got them back to the hive as quickly as possible and spent her week with Carlin and co at the playground and pool.
   
5. Lydia is bored bc she is married to Trace. All of her photography skills are now used to take pics of sneakers, weights, water bottles and pickleball. This crew has been featuring Lydia’s family pretty heavily lately, including spending Mothers Day with them where they made small talk with Trace and pretended to like him. Trace spilled the beans that his parents gave away all the pets at the big house while simultaneously telling us that Lawson doesn’t take care of Duke bc he gets dropped off there at least once a month. Later they debuted 40 minutes of Trace painting Lydia’s face like it was a fence while mouth breathing. Lydia’s mom called to show her the pet emu eating cherries and that was the best darn thing they have shown us in months. More emu please-less Trace!
   
6. Michael and Brandon brought in the professionals this week and exploited Layla and Zade Stewart. Layla is as good as any second year stage student at this point… BUT Aunt Michael has rules so she had to slow her role. Brandon was excited to draw Layla a princess after 3 weeks of sharks and whales… honestly everything he draws sort of looks the same. They also went to Honea Path to see Poppa Bill and Momma Jane who was smiling that it wasn’t one of the grands with 18 kids.
   
7. Down in passive-aggressive land Alyssa Webster told the tale of how all FOUR of her girls were asked to be flower girls and how that had NEVER happened and how SPECIAL that was. After several posts exclaiming her undying devotion and love to “buddy” she showed off the bad 80’s prom dress she was given by that dress shop she promotes. If a flame came anywhere near her it would have been all she wrote for Mrs. Webster. That dress was awful… but not as bad as the one she was gifted from BSB(which she called “my sister’s boutique”). The vlog shows John being an absolute jerk while Alyssa sneers and snarls and tries very hard not to say that her Mother’s Day sucked. It did suck and in order to make it up to her, daddy Webster put on a button down shirt and took her to the Cheesecake Factory. After all of the slap happy crappy birthday parties and Christmases she has given her girls… she expected WHAT for Mother’s Day??
   
8. Lawson made an absolute fool of himself while revealing the worst kept secret ever… it’s a boy, yall. Michael and Brandon punished themselves by throwing the party and doing all of the work while Tiffy and Lawson preened for the camera and asked people over and over what their guess was. This was filmed on I Love You Day weekend at the IBLP leaders church so this is old, old footage aaand these people are all perfectly fine with what their dad does. Tiffy and Law made it a point to say there was a bigger crowd than was at their wedding. Tiffy cried after finding out she is carrying a little Lawson and Duke was nowhere to be found. I do think he congratulated them on IG though, so all is good.
   
9. Oh Erin… what a week you had. You got Momma and Daddy Bates all to yourself for Mothers Day and for Carson/Charles’ birthday. Gil and KJ also picked up a nice paycheck for speaking and preaching at the Paine’s new church. Even though Erin happily joined a church that prides itself on promoting the corporal punishment of children, she still put together a glowing reel for Carson/Charles’ special day that featured him down at it at his second job of brothermomming. Not one picture of herself with the child was included. Later Erin threw a free notebook in with her construction paper cards as an incentive to buy. Free paper for buying paper is super exciting, right?
   
10. Bits and Bytes… Jadon and Layla are the same height. The Utah photographer that Alyssa used is followed by ALL of the Bates. Everyone of these Trad Wives are now promoting Easy plants. Why can’t Zach have any closeups in his cooking videos? Jeb/Jud broke his arm.
    

Have a great week friends and… how many Baptists does it takes to change a lightbulb…. CHANGE?!? Who mentioned CHANGE!?🫠😜

My opponent later today is playing just 4 big knights for tournament practice.
This is the List I'm planning to take with. Running fixed; behind enemy lines, deploy homers.
Biovore in back under cover fully obscured giving the indirect fire -1 so that it hits on a 4+ bio has a toughness 3 so benefit of cover won't apply.
1 exocrine in reserves to reduce risk of total heavy fire loss, one right on the line of deployment zone close to center.
The two units of Leapers will be set up 9" away from enemy dz in cover punishing lack of any battle line
Hormagaunts will push the vanguard rushing in and ideally taking center objective.
The three units of termigants will push from center left and right field encircling the battle field.
T fax will be sending casino cannon right up front after the exocrine give symbiotic target.
Tervigon while super not meta is my bone I'm throwing. An extra character that probably will fall behind and stop resing gaunts by turn 2-3.
Wing boy for free endless multitude
Because he's running all Titanic models he won't be able to fire overwatch.
casual tournament practice (1995 points)
Tyranids Strike Force (2000 points) Unending Swarm
CHARACTERS
Neurotyrant (105 points) • Warlord • 1x Neurotyrant claws and lashes 1x Psychic scream
Tervigon (190 points) • 1x Massive crushing claws 1x Stinger salvoes
Winged Hive Tyrant (230 points) • 1x Monstrous bonesword and lash whip 1x Tyrant talons • Enhancement: Relentless Hunger
BATTLELINE
Hormagaunts (130 points) • 20x Hormagaunt • 20x Hormagaunt talons
Termagants (120 points) • 20x Termagant • 20x Chitinous claws and teeth 20x Fleshborer
Termagants (120 points) • 20x Termagant • 20x Chitinous claws and teeth 20x Fleshborer
Termagants (120 points) • 20x Termagant • 20x Chitinous claws and teeth 20x Fleshborer
OTHER DATASHEETS
Barbgaunts (55 points) • 5x Barbgaunt • 5x Barblauncher 5x Chitinous claws and teeth
Biovores (75 points) • 1x Chitin-barbed limbs 1x Spore Mine launcher
Exocrine (135 points) • 1x Bio-plasmic cannon 1x Powerful limbs
Exocrine (135 points) • 1x Bio-plasmic cannon 1x Powerful limbs
Hive Guard (100 points) • 3x Hive Guard • 3x Chitinous claws and teeth 3x Shockcannon
Neurogaunts (45 points) • 1x Neurogaunt Nodebeast • 1x Chitinous claws and teeth • 10x Neurogaunt • 10x Chitinous claws and teeth
Psychophage (95 points) • 1x Psychoclastic torrent 1x Talons and betentacled maw
Tyrannofex (190 points) • 1x Powerful limbs 1x Rupture cannon 1x Stinger salvoes
Von Ryan’s Leapers (75 points) • 3x Von Ryan’s Leaper • 3x Leaper’s talons
Von Ryan’s Leapers (75 points) • 3x Von Ryan’s Leaper • 3x Leaper’s talons
Exported with App Version: v1.14.0 (42), Data Version: v379

OKAY.
Deep breaths.
This just happened.
Guys let me tell you about the hard fought victory myself and three other troglodytes just trudged through.
It's suicide. The easy mode of the Hard difficulties. We're doing pretty good. We're all pretty self sufficient, don't need to be babysat. We take care of chargers and bike titans quickly and efficiently. Honestly could not ask for a better team.
We get through an exterminate mission, then achieve victory in a Evacuate Personnel mission. You know, the one where you activate two communications towers then go about getting 20 assholes into a shelter. That one. This is on the far north of the map, and the extraction is at the far south.
Dude. The journey from the objective to the extraction is one of the most prolonged, protracted, wars of attrition I've EVER experienced in this game lol. But we lock it in. We get to extract, two more bug hives that are right next door. So I opt to go do them.
One light hive, easy, done.
The next one is a medium. I got three eagle airstrikes, a grenade pistol, and a fucking dream. I throw two eagles one after the other. Secure the last hole with the pistol. EASY DUDE. A teammate runs into the last airstrike but uh that's kinda their fault.
I realize, I don't have any more stims. Out of grenades. I've got like 25% HP left. It's fine. I'm getting surrounded but they're doing that silly bug thing where they're trying to power check you by going left and right to try and block your path, but I dive through a last minute break in their defenses and the pelican just landed baby. We're gonna make it home.
Mind you, I currently have like 7 commons, 5 rares and all 3 super samples on me. The group seems to be waiting for me before they get on our ride.
If your name is Non-Con-Form, I hope your court martial ends up with your helmet on the chopping block because THIS GUY RIGHT HERE THROWS A 380 BARRAGE SUPER CLOSE TO THE PELICAN.
I'm BOBBIN', I'm WEAVIN'. Some gets on the pelican. It's 7 seconds left now.
I get decimated by a shell. Right on the edge too, if I was at max I might have survived.
Samples lost. Hope lost. The pelican leaves.
Everything is darkness. Everything is pain.
I fade away.
I kick everyone and rage quit the game lol
Seriously y'all. Stop it. You suck.
Edit: actually, I don't know if Non-Con-Form is the one who threw the 380. But In the rewards screen he pipes in on the mic to say he wishes he could give us samples because he's maxed out. Still. One of them threw it. No excuses here.
Edit: for clarity, there were 7 seconds left when I died and I don't know for sure who dropped the 380. I kicked everyone when we got back to the ship. Everyone got exp and requisition and what few samples we did extract. I am not THAT unreasonable.

i'm a 3rd season beekeeper in sw ohio, usa. i've done successful splits and over-wintered hives.
due to unforeseen circumstances at a queen grafting & rearing workshop, i'll be receiving an inseminated breeder queen with high mite biting behavior. YAY!
this windfall throws me a couple of years forward in skills & apiary size. i keep my bees at home on 5 acres, so i have room to expand beyond the 3 colonies i have. all my woodenware is 8 frame.
the queen will be ready in early june, and i have a double 4 frame nuc she can go into.
how would YOU set up a queen-rearing yard? mainly nucs? use cloake boards above strong colonies? i've got a swarm box on order for a cell starter.

So now that it has been a week since I have stopped mirtazapine I wanted to share my experience because I know it can help people feel more at ease knowing that these are normal things to go through when coming off of it. To preface this, I have been on mirtazapine 15mg for around 4 months but was on the medication in general for a total of 6 months. I decided to get off because it was not helping my anxiety or depression so I am switching to lexapro. I am a 20 year old cis woman (not sure if age and gender have an impact on what side effects you are more prone to. I was put on a two week taper, one week I went down to 7.5mg. I had persistent brain zaps/migraines as well as trouble falling and staying asleep. Tylenol helped with the pain. I also felt an increase in my anxiety and in my POTS symptoms. Then the next week I went down to 3.75mg, this did nothing to me and I did not have any problems aside from still having trouble falling and staying asleep. Then the next week I came completely off, this is how each day went. MY EXPERIENCE MAY NOT BE YOUR EXPERIENCE!!! Something that kinda made me mad was when I was first starting to taper people on here made everything so doom and gloom which is fine if that was your experience but don’t make it seem and scare people into thinking that will be their experience. I also struggled with insomnia before mirt and had GI issues and I have POTS, so that probably made it a little bit worse for me.
Day 1: Did not have any problems, the mirtazapine was probably still very much in my system at this point, I did toss and turn at night but not for too long.
Day 2: Around the time I would be taking my mirt I started to feel very very very nauseous, surprised I did not vomit but thankfully it died down so I could sleep. My eczema started to flare up and so I was itchy and had bumps all over the back of my wrist (I have already had these bumps before but I think the withdrawal made it flare up. I've heard a lot of other people get hives/itch while coming off mirt)
Day 3: Brain zaps all day, high anxiety, felt like I was not real. All day I had poor appetite and while trying to eat I felt like gagging but managed to force feed myself lol. Night was a lot better.
Day 4: Very nauseous throughout the day until around dinner. Brain zaps were there but not as often so I did not need to take any pain pills. Anxiety was high. Diarrhea all day.
Day 5: That early morning around like 3am my family member threw up and had chest pain so we thought it was a heart attack. I'm afraid of throw up and obviously I was concerned for that person (they are ok! Just bad acid reflux reaction to a food he ate). I'm mentioning this bc I did not get to sleep until 6am and slept till 1:30pm and I hardly drank water day 4 so I can't really tell if the way I am feeling is from the stress and having my POTS triggered or if it is partially the withdrawal. I was nauseous since waking up, almost throwing up and diarrhea. Also felt dizzy and having a fast heart rate (these I believe are from POTS not the withdrawal the nausea is where I am not sure)
Day 6: Low appetite, slight nausea when I woke up and during the day. Not throw up worthy but enough to make eating a challenge and feel like I want to gag at some points. I did get more of that sick feeling after dinner but not sure if it was what I at or not. Spurts of vertigo, again not sure if this is from POTS or the withdrawal but while researching I found that vertigo is a common withdrawal side effect. Some stomach cramping like almost like my period but i'm weeks away from that so maybe just poop cramps? Had some diarrhea bm.
Day 7: Felt pretty bad this day but I think it is because I had a doctors appointment and I have crippling anxiety lol. I felt nauseous this day but it was like a very lowkey feeling but was enough to curb my appetite.
Day 8 (The day I am posting this): I feel nauseous but it is like yesterday. I also am starting Lexapro tomorrow and I am pretty anxious about that so I am thinking some of the stomach grossness is from the anxiety rather than the withdrawal. I have had some random head pain here and there as well as weird muscle cramps. When I was trying to fall asleep last night I kept jerking awake which I am assuming is a part of my anxiety induced insomnia from not taking any sleep aid anymore as I was taking mirt also for the sleep aid.
Edit: I think the muscle cramps and leg twitching/jerking at night is a magnesium deficiency? I’m deficient in a lot of things lol

Species: Cat Age: 4 Sex/Neuter status: F, neutered Breed: DSH Body weight: 11lbs History: Gives herself hives, throws up from anxiety. Took her in for throwing up and she gave herself hives otw to the vet they did blood work and said nothing was wrong. Gave her allergy medicine for her eyes since they were red around the skin. Clinical signs: watery stool, looks like her food plus some yellow and blood. She’s acting normal, no lethargy or crying, has ate (I put water in her food). Duration: it’s been 12h but she’s been having more frequent watery poops since I got another cat in January but the blood in new. Location: San Luis Obispo CA

I was running a new kit last night, equipped with the incendiary breaker, scout gear and the new airburst launcher. As such, one time early in the mission I had fired the airburst into a hive of enemies, where you had just dived into in an attempt to cqc them. You died, but so did 17 enemies.
After this we cleared a few bases, and were right next to the mining probe. But you held a grudge. I was standing somewhat near a cliff, calling in a resupply for us. You ran up behind me and punched me, in an attempt to throw me over the edge.
I did not fall off, but I ragdolled. And the thing about newton's 3rd law, objets at rest tend to stay at rest. And the strategem stayed in the same spot mid air, until you ran into it and your body became a blue beacon of light.
I'm sorry helldiver, but when the pod came down and crushed you under its democratic weight, you had nobody but yourself to blame.
Please, don't hold a grudge. Don't fight your fellow divers. For both yours and your fellow divers' sake. Just fight for the common goal of democracy.

Chapter One
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Prev
-Rooftop of the White Flame Factory-
Grigory smiled nervously at his men as they lounged on the rooftop patio. As the sun sank lower, he was happy to see them relax after the day's tensions. He’d wanted to give them their imps when they first arrived, or after the demonstration, but they seemed a little too skittish. Their reactions were causing him to doubt his strategy. If his most loyal supporters were repelled by them, wider acceptance was going to be a non-trivial hurdle. He’d been working on an improved version of the imps for months, but making them less threatening, or light forbid, ‘cute’, seemed deeply at odds with his plans. He hoped time might be the missing ingredient. Once they get a bit more familiar with them, they’ll come around. The imps were really nothing for them to fear.
The demonologist sat alone, observing how his men were dealing with the news. He was deep in thought, adjusting his plans and ruminating on his concerns. Was he forcing them to do things they weren’t comfortable with? The basis of his entire plan was that the whole world was to benefit from the imps, so it had to start somewhere, or he might as well give up. They seemed to be taking it as well as he could have hoped.
Catching a wisp of savoury smells, he thought it was scarcely fair to relax while Stanisk was busy in the kitchen. He rose to see if he could lend a hand with dinner. During their overland trek to the capital months ago, it was clear that Stanisk was a superlative cook, but Grigory was a dexterous helper. Much of what he knew about surgical techniques had been picked up preparing meals.
Grigory arrived at the great hall that served as the eating area. In the centre of the chamber, two long tables stretched across the room, capable of seating fifty, though only four simple chairs he had crafted a few weeks ago were present. His men had yet to grasp the potential of the imps' labour; instead of proper seating, they had improvised with crates and timbers haphazardly arranged around the tables. Near one table, a jute sack of potatoes lay abandoned on the floor, possibly mistaken for a makeshift seat. Grigory hoped they'd be eating the potatoes, not sitting on them.
Separated from the hall by a low half-wall, the kitchen bustled with activity. Stanisk sat on the thick timber counter, a casual sentinel over dinner’s preparations, while Jourgun and Klive stood nearby, deep in conversation with their commander.
Stanisk’s five imps, in their fancy clothes, dashed around the kitchen. Under his expert guidance they were preparing a grand feast. One was peeling potatoes, another stirred a great bubbling pot, while two were doing dishes.
“Sir, did you know that Stanisk’s imps have names? And fancy clothes! Can I have one like his?” Klive blurted when he saw his employer. “Uh, as it pleases milord, of course.”
“Plus mine bow when they bring us beers! They don't do that fresh out of hell!” Stanisk's toothy smile implied he might have been bowed at by imps a half dozen times already.
Grigory tilted his head and blinked for a second.
Surely a bit of clothes can’t have that much of an impact on their acceptance?
“Oh, Of course! Certainly!” he paused again. “Feel free to ask Stanisk for tips on how he made his.” Observing the bustling activity, “It looks like dinner is well in hand?” The kitchen was huge, far larger than the one at Planed Pine Peak Inn. A half dozen dishes simmered or baked, their aromas — exotic spices, rich gravies, and roasted meats filled the expansive space.
Stanisk replied without glancing away from the imps handling the tasks. “Well in hand, boss. Take ‘er easy tonight!” The imps' movements were quick and fluid, their antics distractingly comical at times. Grigory watched, smiling, as one imp hugged a yam to its chest that likely weighed more than it did, and made its way along the countertop from the vegetable sack to the cutting board. Each step was an exaggerated sway, the creature was badly top-heavy and teetering.
With effort he pulled his focus back, “Capital! I’ve a matter to attend to! Smells great already!”
Grigory went into the factory proper to whip up enough chairs for everyone. Simple wooden ones for now, but with cushions. Cushions were quick enough to make and he had a few cart loads of wool and woollen fabrics. He watched his imps work, glad he could share them with his whole team now. Obviously it made everything a bit riskier, but it was worth it. One of his concerns was that he’d been overlooking opportunities and uses. He was bound by only being able to think his own thoughts, so he was excited to see what non-demonologists would think of.
They carved and joined the pine chairs with their normal speed and accuracy, but watching them sew was its own reward. The imps wielded needles like longswords in their tiny hands, the points moving too fast to see clearly. They stacked up the plain cushions in a neat pile at the end of their low workbench.
He also didn’t have any utensils, placemats, serving spoons nor trivets either, since this was their first proper meal here. He commanded the imps to make those as well, and carry them like a row of ants from the workshop to the dining hall. The demonologist walked around the table, surveying his work. With a minor gesture of flame he lit the lamps, and frowned at the beige-grey of undyed wool of the chair cushions.
He pulled the chairs out, and one at a time enchanted the cushions to bright, cheerful colours. He was going to make them all company purple, but thought better of it. Enchanting colours was a fun spell to cast, because the act of changing its colour also unravelled enchantment as it went. Much like building and knocking over houses of cards, the end effect was a mundane unenchanted object, but in whatever colour he’d chosen. Having done the spell countless times for entire days to prepare for the midsummer tourney, he didn’t even have to check his notes for any of the hues.
Satisfied with his work, though slightly frustrated that his first and last red cushions weren’t quite the same shade, he sat down. He pulled a notebook out of his satchel and started making notes on his ideas for some improvements, mostly for his own use, but some to the things he’d be soon selling. Lost in his own world, he had no idea how much time had passed when Ros and Taritha joined him at the table.
“Good evening, milord,” Ros said deferentially.
The young herbalist elbowed him, “Come on, he had one rule! He was writing!”
“Oh! Terribly sorry, sir!” Ros stammered.
“Not at all, I was basically doodling. How’s your evening going, is everything to your liking?” Grigory closed his notebook and put it away.
“Amazing milord, These rooms are huge! They're bigger than some of the houses I was looking at!” Taritha said.
“Of course! No one wants to live in dingy cells! Glad to hear! It’s easy to make a place bigger when you are building fresh. Let me know if you find anything that needs fixing, our builders are still in town working on the harbour fortress now, but I can have them send someone if there is anything amiss!”
“I don’t reckon neither of us knew palaces this nice existed anywhere, milord!” Ros said with a shrug. “We might not be the best eyes for finding faults!”
“Heh! This is just the rustic first stage! Don’t worry about its crudeness for now, we’ll get there over time!” the demonologist promised, patting his satchel where the notebook of ideas was. His confidence was both unshakeable and unnecessary.
“Not to question your plans, but there are a lot more rooms than people. Are we expecting company? Are we hiring?” Taritha asked. Her eyebrows twitched slightly, having just questioned his plan for the first time.
“Big plans indeed! So that empty stretch east of the main building? That’s also part of our land grant. In a while we’ll be building a barracks there for our troops, while senior officers will stay in the main factory. That’s also why Stanisk will be taking a much more active role with civil defence. It’s central to our plan to secure the town, and by extension our own safety.”
“Our troops? Like us?” Jourgun asked, having joined them at the long table.
“Maybe? Probably not? We’ll see. The plan is to extensively recruit as we can afford it, since the pirate raid was just the beginning. We have something of incredible value, in the form of me, the imps and the factory itself. Many violent people feel they should possess every valuable thing, so we must be vigilant. Not to worry though! That’s just us planning for the worst. In reality, nothing like that will likely happen. Just by being well defended we’ll scare off the greedy.”
“Ah, like why it's dangerous for a beggar to wear a silk robe!” Rikad added as he joined them, along with a few others. The smells from the kitchen were intoxicatingly rich now, as Stanisk and Klive used the imps to finish and plate the meal.
“Just so, a lord can only have what he can defend, and because the first phases of my plan require a certain level of material wealth, I’ll need extensive defences,” Grigory explained as diplomatically as he could.
“The Empire itself will fear our might, milord!” Ros said excitedly.
“Nah, it won’t. That’s a dangerous thought. The Imperial army’s smallest deployable force is a legion, near enough to five thousand men. Even if we hit every hiring and training target, we’se not going to be in the business of fightin’ wars. Just enough to make us a spiky nut. The sort not worth chompin’,’” Stanisk called over from the kitchen.
“Oh,” Ros said, shrinking back into his seat.
“That’s more than all the men in the whole town!” Taritha lamented.
“Yeah, that’s why lil fishing villages don’t win wars. A legion is five thousand infantry with warships, supplies, siege cohorts, and command companies. If’n it’s a real fight, then they might deploy all ten Imperial legions. Then start raising more if’n they’re losing. We ain’t never gonna try to fight that. No nation in the world has ever picked that fight and won.”
To counter the grim tone settling over his celebratory dinner, Grigory chimed in with a reassuring smile, “We’re loyal Hyruxian subjects, and the legions protect us. We pay taxes in full, we’re on the right side of all this. We just want a bit of security against more, uh, regional actors. Besides, a large well equipped force lends our diplomacy weight we wouldn’t otherwise have.”
Now that the table was filling up and his men looked satisfied with his answers, he raised his voice to the kitchen, “How’s it going in there?”
“Good! I bought a deer from one of the hunters this morning, and it turned out just right!” Stanisk replied, personally putting the finishing touches on his creation. Aethlina moved across the kitchen to watch Stanisk work, making Grigory do a double take. He hadn’t realised she was even in the building.
“Oh! Capital! Everyone in the entire company is here now! Even better!” Grigory said, motioning Aethlina to sit by him. He was glad he’d made the full number of chairs!
Stanisk and Klive brought out plates heaped with slices of braised venison, steamed tubers and sautéed onions. Tubs of butter, bowls of gravy, and finally a heaping basket of fresh buns followed. Stanisk took his seat and, smiling with pride, “What’re you helpless kittens lookin’ at? Never seen dinner ‘afore? Dig in!”
The feast was a perfect end to a troubling day, and even though the conversation died down as they ate, Grigory observed every single one of his hirelings intently, relieved to see not a single one seemed put off by a meal made by demons. Catching Stanisk’s eye, he made an empty cup gesture.
“Imps! Bring us all some drinks! Wine, beer and water!” Stanisk shouted to his imps. With speed and efficiency, the little demons filled clay cups and brought everyone three drinks, exactly as ordered.
“Ah, dammit, I meant—It’s fine. Drink what you want and I’ll just dump the rest!” The chief of security’s good humour faded for an instant before returning twice as bright.
“No, I love having three drinks! And the water and beer are cold! In the summer! The gods themselves envy me!” Rikad declared.
“Uh oh! It looks like Mage Thippily made imps, but the imps made the real monster!” Kedril retorted, gesturing at Rikad holding three cups between his hands, rotating them to drink out of each, while spilling beer all over his own arm.
Their high spirits encouraged Grigory. He’d worried they would be morose and frightened tonight, after making them to live in what could be described as a hive of demons. Joking about the imps was beyond his expectations, so he smiled without speaking, sipping his red wine. Not his cherished Malaentian Red, but a nice varietal from the mainland he’d recently imported a few cases of. Once the plates were empty, Stanisk had the imps clear the table and start washing up while everyone remained seated at the long pine table, bellies full to bursting.
“That was spectacular Stanisk! Thank you!” Grigory offered, and everyone else chimed in a breath later.
“Nothing like a lifetime of bland ration bars for months to really spark an interest in what good food ought to be! I’m glad ya’se liked it,” the big veteran said dismissively.
“How is everyone finding their new accommodations? I know I don’t have all the furniture done just yet, but is everyone good for tonight?” Grigory asked, ever the eager host.
The men nodded and looked at each other. Complaining was frowned upon and nothing here was remotely a hardship.
“Capital! Glad to hear it, and by all means bring it to my attention if your needs are unmet!” Grigory sat still and everyone kept looking at him.
Now’s as good a time as any. It’s not even a surprise, I think I mentioned it a few times already.
“Ahem! So! I’d like to present each of you with your own imps! Some ground rules though; there may be people that aren’t ready for this style of magic, so I ask that you don’t mention anything about them anywhere outside of the factory. Or even imply there are any magical creatures, just that things get made here?”
He waited until they all at least nodded.
“Alright! Here you go, I have one for everyone! The imps are identical, so don’t worry about which ones you get. Um. Good luck?” With a shrug he reached down beside his chair and from a leather case he pulled a series of carved wooden boxes, and passed them out to everyone sitting at the table.
***
With a muted clatter, Taritha watched as the small dark boxes were distributed. She wasn’t sure if there was one for her, being fairly new to the company. She wasn’t sure how she felt; owning demons seemed like a big step, but the ancient urge to possess something nice or powerful was one she wasn’t immune to. Her heart leapt as a heavy box slid in front of her.
With trepidation, she touched it with one finger; it appeared to be regular wood, perhaps stained oak. The box was small and rectangular, quite thin, and she held it easily in one hand. It was narrow enough to fit comfortably between her thumb and fingers, its weight noticeable but not oppressive. She had expected dread, palpable evil, or something, but it just felt a bit heavy. Turning it over, she saw no visible clasps or hinges. The outside was covered in the flawless ornate carvings she was starting to grow familiar with. This time, the carvings depicted joyful industrial scenes—strong men swinging square hammers, smoke stacks, and laden ships and carts. The central image on each side was gilded with gold leaf, making it strikingly dignified.
Ignoring the excitement and increasing movement around her, she felt as if she were in her own universe. She slowly pulled on the lid, finding it opened on tiny hidden hinges, revealing three ebony totems inside. They were the size and shape of a fairytale wand, resting on a bed of lush green velvet, held in place by a broad ribbon tied in a perfect bow.
Even without considering the priceless nature of the artefacts, she was impressed, almost distracted, by the quality of the presentation. He didn’t have to go to such lengths; she’d expected them to be simply handed to her.
She slid one of the totems out without undoing the bow. It was cool and heavy but otherwise seemed normal. She could see layers of impossibly fine carving, this time gilded with silver. She could sense the potent magic in the object, but it felt strange. She’d examined other enchanted items before, and their enchantments were all transcendently beautiful in a complex and technical way. This was so dense it felt like nothing. Or perhaps everything? She wasn’t sure, but it wasn’t at all like the other objects. Stilling herself and trying to puzzle out its secrets brought her no closer to any revelation. She shook her head and resolved to investigate further in private. She returned the totem to its place in the box and gently closed it.
Only now did she notice the table was thick with imps, more than twenty darting and leaping energetically. Her colleagues had summoned theirs and were already giving orders.
“You two, throw the third imp as high as you can!”
“Merp!”
“All of you, cross the table as fast as you can, but walk on your hands!”
“Merp!”
“Duel with these forks!”
“Merp! Merp!”
The men were laughing and pointing between shouting out fresh orders. All the commands were pointless and frivolous, making Taritha powerfully uncomfortable. These were forces of nature, extraplanar beings of unimaginable power, and they were being made to sprint into empty mugs to see how far the mug would fly!?
She shot a questioning look to the master demonologist to gauge his reaction. He was smiling and complimenting their creativity, so maybe she was overreacting? Still, she had no interest in wasting them on silly games. Emergencies only. Or at least serious concerns only. Not for dodging knotted linen napkins, that’s for sure!
With the burden of responsibility successfully dodged, she was free to watch everyone else’s fun. The cacophony of excitement was so infectious that she found herself giggling and pointing at them racing as makeshift horses, with an imp bent over holding the tiny waist of the imp in front of him, while a third one sat atop as a rider. They were so silly looking and energetic.
“You’re sure this doesn’t hurt or anger them?” Taritha asked.
“Oh my no, it’s not like that at all. They have minds, but lack awareness, or awareness of their own mind I guess? It’s fine! They are just made out of the same stuff as demons, but not actually demonic.” The mage stood up and stretched. “They are remarkably durable, it’s unlikely anything short of silvered steel will harm them. I, on the other hand, am at risk of being badly over-tired already! I trust you will be okay, left on your own! I’ll see you in the morning!”
“I’se properly tired too, but if you want, let's pop into the factory and I’ll show you how to get them to make their own clothes. It’s just tellin’ ‘em to do that, so you’se might not need too much hand holding!” Stanisk pushed himself away from the long table, and motioned for them to follow him.
They went into the cavernous factory, just across the hallway. What was an impressive and huge room in the daylight was now an infinite blackness, like a starless night. A few men had grabbed leviathan-oil lamps off the table, and they huddled in a small circle of warm, safe light. They gathered around a long low table, and Stanisk laid out a few bolts of fabric. The fine weaves were familiar to Taritha; they were the same as those used in the clothes she’d been getting from the company.
“It’s simple enough,” Stanisk said as he put a heavy leather bag of tools on the table. “Just say what you want, with as much or as little detail, and they’ll just make that.”
“Imps, make a suit of legion plate armour, imp-sized, out of shoe leather!” Rikad said with glee.
“Merp!” replied several at once, as they began cutting and forming the leather without hesitation. The imps even used grey wool for the under-mail parts, and tiny flares of hellfire to warp the leather into the right shapes. Soon, a tiny suit of black armour lay on the table, looking like what an imperial heavy infantryman would wear, but distorted to the proportions of the gawky imps.
“I dub thee, Imperial commander, Real Imp. Don thy armour!” Rikad ordered. “Do they remember their names?” he asked over his shoulder to Stanisk.
“Oh yeah, they’re proper sharp!” he confirmed.
“Create an imp-sized lord's robe with a sash of office! When it is done, you shall be known as D’Imp Lomat! I might need a minute to think of the last one though…” Rikad said to everyone watching his imps.
Reluctantly, Taritha opened the box and invoked her three imps. She looked at them closely; as far as she could tell, they were perfectly interchangeable with every other imp.
Looking over the fabrics, she chose a striking blue, a deep red, and a golden yellow. “Imps! Make imp-sized sundresses, mainly white with these colours as a main theme. and matching coloured sun hats,” she added hastily. Their heads were distractingly inhuman, so covering them might help. She watched them work, even interrupting a few times to ask for embroidered details and minor adjustments. Once they finished, she had them don their new outfits.
Oh! The hems seem scandalously short on their long lanky legs! Better than before, but not by a lot.
“Imps, please put on the hats that match the colour of your dress.”
“Merp.”
Much better! They look like ladies now!
“You are now Lady Bluebird, Lady Crossbill, and…” She paused at the last one, thinking of songbirds that were as bright yellow as the fabric. “Miss Goldfinch!”
She leaned back and admired her little ladies. They were far less threatening now, and their dull crimson skin really made the dresses look extra vibrant.
“Dang Taritha, how did you make yours so pretty? I want some pretty ones!” Jourgun commented as he looked over.
“Drool over your own demons! These are mine!” she said playfully. There was an undercurrent of possessiveness that she didn’t expect, but these ones were hers now. “Anyways, I’m going to bed too, you guys are too slow! Have fun, boys!” she said as she devoked her imps. The new clothes fell to the work surface.
“Oh yeah, they don’t take that with ‘em, wherever they go, so just keep it in a lil bag or whatever,” Stanisk said when he saw her distress. “They gotta get dressed every time you invoke it,” he shrugged.
So much to learn today!
With a brave smile, she replaced the totems in the box and gathered the dresses and hats. “Mind if I take…” she said as she slowly lifted a lamp from near Rikad.
“Oh yeah, all yours,” he said dismissively, fully engrossed in examining the tiny lordly robes of D’Imp Lomat.
She went back to the hall, up the wide even stairs to the third floor. She’d only spent a bit of time investigating it earlier, as she and Ros had been anxious about being late for dinner. She saw the heap of her worldly possessions against the wall where she’d left them. The only furniture here was the bed, but by the sounds of it, getting some tables, chairs, and wardrobes would be easy enough tomorrow. She placed the totem box and the tiny outfits on the floor beside the bed.
The bed itself was unlike any she’d ever heard of. Crafted with thick pine beams and topped with a mattress of imported cotton, it was probably wider than her entire hovel. A family of five could sleep on it and barely touch. She couldn’t imagine a more lordly bed. Its refined look and the luxurious softness were worlds apart from the coarse fabric and straw she was used to. Sometimes in the fall, she’d add freshly fallen leaves to her straw mattress for extra comfort, but that was a fleeting pleasure. This bed, however, promised constant comfort. She eyed the pile of heavy blankets at the foot of the bed. Recently, she had bought a single blanket from the market, thin and scratchy, but these were the mage’s blankets—thick, plush, and impossibly soft.
She shut the heavy door and took off her tall boots. The floor felt smooth under her bare feet. Even having a floor was a new luxury; she was accustomed to hard-packed dirt floors like most everyone else. This wasn’t just a floor; it was a delicate herringbone pattern of different kinds of wood, obviously done by the agile imps. It was cleaner, smoother, and more level than any table she’d eaten off before the mage came to town.
She stopped admiring the floor and stripped to her shift. She felt exposed being so undressed around so many men. She reasoned it out—the iron and oak door was stronger than a hide flap, and this would doubtlessly be the safest sleep of her life. Just a reaction, not a reality. She left the lamp on the floor and got in bed.
With a panic, she yelped as the whole bed flowed underneath her, as if she’d stepped on the tail of a sleeping cat. She tried to get up but her feet were already off the floor, and she couldn’t find a stable purchase with her hands. She froze up to think her way out of it, and the bed stopped moving almost as soon as she did.
Her heart pounded in her chest.
Was this an enchantment gone awry? Some bed demon?
Slowly, she log-rolled towards the edge of the bed, and the mattress under her also slowly moved, but not enough to stop her. Slow and steady, she might get free yet. Finally, she was close enough to put a foot down and stand. The bed flowed back to being perfectly flat.
She stood up, with a hand to her sternum, trying to catch her breath.
Think! What did the mage say about this today? It would magically adjust? Maybe that was all it was doing?
She leaned over and gently pushed down with a single fist. It was super pliable, then increasingly firm. But it felt unlike anything else—stacks of clothes or hides all felt different when they got pressed.
It must be magic. No time to be timid, and it would be humiliating to go to either the mage or the chief about this.
The only spell she could reliably cast was a gesture of Mana-Visualization. It caused the invisible lines of arcane energy to glow visibly, in bright colours that hinted at their use and purpose. She cast it to better examine her bed. It wasn’t enchanted as she expected; rather, hundreds and hundreds of things inside it were, and they linked and overlapped in ways she wouldn’t understand if she studied enchantments for a decade. She involuntarily took a step back from it, like finding a hundred warhorses inside a small cabinet.
She dismissed the gesture. With renewed determination, she slowly sat down on the bed. It shifted but only a bit. It was very soft and comfortable. Slowly, she turned and laid back, fighting her panic as the mattress kept shifting everywhere her body touched it, unnervingly lifelike. Fully laying down, she stopped and the mattress stopped. Even as her eyes were still wide with terror, she started to calm down. To test her theories, she rolled onto her side, and the mattress under her hip grew softer, and the part under her ribs grew firmer, until the pressure equalised. Rolling back, she felt it shift again, and once more the mattress's firmness changed all up and down her body, stopping once it was the same shape as her body’s pressure, resulting in sublime comfort.
Oh. This is incredible. I get it now!
She reached to the foot of the bed, pulled one of the soft blankets up to her chin, reached down to extinguish the lamp and drifted off into a better sleep than anyone in the history of her family ever had.
Prev

Hi, everyone, thank you for your time.
The question in short: How do I go about writing published adventures for other people to pick up and run? What info is necessary, what info is unnecessary, and what is just distracting?
Tangential background: In my decade of GMing I have used a published adventure exactly once - it was an awful experience, nothing went to plan, and I felt much more prepared than I actually was. I have never done it since.
However, I am currently writing my own ttrpg system. It's going along great but before I even think about promoting an alpha release, I want to create a "Pick up and play" set - including basic, pre-created character archetypes and an adventure/mission, so you could jump in and try it out whenever.
I usually throw my players into a sandbox and plan every session individually to avoid burnout and to play my own little strategy game, if you will. That type of preparation just does not work when I'm trying to give someone else a prerendered package.
So I'm turning to the hive mind:

• What's the info you would be looking for when running published adventures(, module campaigns, what have you)?
• Which parts are often given but you almost always ignore anyways?
• Which parts are just distracting and make you feel like nothing is going to plan, or even cause your players to often go "off rails"?

I'm not looking to write a whole campaign - I'm aiming for a mission of around two sessions, just in case that's important to someone's advice.
As always, any nudge is appreciated. Thank you in advance.

Hi, everyone, thank you for your time.
The question in short: How do I go about writing published adventures for other people to pick up and run? What info is necessary, what info is unnecessary, and what is just distracting?
Tangential background: In my decade of GMing I have used a published adventure exactly once - it was an awful experience, nothing went to plan, and I felt much more prepared than I actually was. I have never done it since.
However, I am currently writing my own ttrpg system. It's going along great but before I even think about promoting an alpha release, I want to create a "Pick up and play" set - including basic, pre-created character archetypes and an adventure/mission, so you could jump in and try it out whenever.
I usually throw my players into a sandbox and plan every session individually to avoid burnout and to play my own little strategy game, if you will. That type of preparation just does not work when I'm trying to give someone else a prerendered package.
So I'm turning to the hive mind:

• What's the info you would be looking for when running published adventures(, module campaigns, what have you)?
• Which parts are often given but you almost always ignore anyways?
• Which parts are just distracting and make you feel like nothing is going to plan, or even cause your players to often go "off rails"?

I'm not looking to write a whole campaign - I'm aiming for a mission of around two sessions, just in case that's important to someone's advice.
As always, any nudge is appreciated. Thank you in advance.

Link for all the chapters available here: Engines of Arachnea on Royal Road
Having said his piece, Rene had expected the woman to accept her role as a prisoner of the Fleet. But no sooner had he taken his knee of her back than she was at him again, rolling over and cursing as she tried to spit him on her claws. Training kicked in and Rene applied the wrestling component of his hand-to-hand combat course. He secured underhooks with his arms, locking them together with his hands and hugging her tight from behind. Zildiz bucked and twisted around in a futile attempt to make room for her blades, even managing to get one of her knees beneath her and push off the ground. Rene allowed her to gain her feet, cunningly using the opening to slip the loop of his encircling arms around her waist. Now in complete control of her center of gravity, Rene swung his leg out and arched his back, heaving her up and over like a sack of turnips in a textbook suplex. A fraction of a second before he smashed the top of her skull into the hard ground, he remembered that he was supposed to keep prisoners alive and preferably not in a vegetative state, and so he cushioned the fall with his own body, falling on his side to increase surface area and dissipate the force.
Zildiz was caught totally by surprise. Unlike Rene she had neglected to tuck in her chin before the moment of impact, a vital detail which was one of the first things a recruit was taught to do on the mats.
“Oof!” she said as all the breath slammed out of her by the throw. Rene felt her body go limp as her dazed senses tried to adjust to the violent change of orientation. He took advantage of this moment of weakness and looped his legs around her body, locking his ankles together to form a full body triangle. His left forearm punched up and took her neck in a rear naked choke, a suffocating vise formed by the insides of his elbow crushing her windpipe and carotid arteries.
“I warned you,” he told her. His choking hand grabbed the inside of his other elbow, right forearm sneaking behind her neck and under his armpit, tightening the garrote even further.
“Had enough?”
“Hrrnnkk…” Zildiz choked. She lifted an arm and slid back the blade until it was the length of a finger, deliberately giving Rene the universal gesture to go and fornicate with himself, before sheathing the claw entirely and aiming her fist at him over her shoulder.
Rene ducked as the blade shot out again, only just avoiding it going through his eye socket and into his brain. As it was, it only nicked his temple, sending warm lines of blood trickling down his visor. Rene hugged her even tighter, constricting the chokehold until he heard her breathing reduced to an agonized wheeze. He throttled her until she stopped moving, her struggles weakening until she went completely lax. Then he held the choke for exactly three seconds longer, counting carefully to avoid giving her lasting brain damage. He let go and was relieved to hear her snoring faintly. Gently rolling her onto her back so she didn’t suffocate in the dirt, Rene cast about for a means to secure his prisoner. He had only a few seconds before she regained consciousness. Quickly he cut some vines from the surrounding trees and knotted them into a crude rope. He flipped her back over again and tied her hands at the wrists and elbows. He had no illusions that it would hold her for long. He tied her wings together at their bases for good measure. She had two sets of them, but the larger pair was missing one of its partners that had been torn off at the socket to reveal a gaping wound. They were wondrously tough membranes considering how thin and flexible they were, as sturdy as ultrapod leather. Rene looked over his work and loosened it a bit so as not to cut off the circulation in her arms. It wasn’t bad for something done on the fly. Then again, he’d been playing this whole thing by ear ever since the ambush that had cut his unit to pieces. Ye gods, but that whole experience felt like a lifetime ago. He had not expected to ever use that component of his hand-to-hand training designed for fighting human opponents. Of course, he’d helped put down a fair share of civil unrest in his time, but even during the worst of the food riots in Mound Ulysses he’d never so much as given a person a light shove. The civilians knew better than to antagonize a battalion of the Fleet’s finest over something as routine and reoccurring as a government rationing in the face of crop failure.
He felt quite bad about having to roughhouse the woman, that is, until she sat up awake and glowered hatefully at him, coughing and retching.
“Don’t,” he pleaded with her in exasperation as she gave him the old stink eye, “I don’t want to fight you again.”
“Why?” she spat defiantly, “Afraid you’d lose?”
“Uh huh,” Rene grunted, amused and even a little impressed by her spunk. She couldn’t have weighed more than sixty kilos soaking wet and was at least half a foot shorter than him even with that exomorph of hers, but this woman was all fight and no quit. She would have to be, living on the surface world and facing these abominations day after day. Rene looked at the dismembered corpses of the black-furred devils and had a sudden jolt of inspiration. As Zildiz tested the strength of her restraints Rene went over to the monster he had chopped to bits and poked the misshapen hump on its back, which had excreted thick ribbons of silk at the moment of death. Feeling more than a little squeamish, Rene pulled on the threads of silk. He had only meant to collect two or three meters of the material, but more and more of the stuff kept unwinding out its glands like a handkerchief from a magician’s pocket. Eventually his hands became enmeshed in the horrid stuff and he had to struggle like the dickens to unstick himself and scrape it off onto a bush where it stuck like a lumpy hammock. Remembering how his enemy had plugged the stab wound in its gut, Rene snapped off a twig and curled it into the white mess like those vendors at the fairs did with candy cloud treats, ending up with a spool of silk. He applied it to the cut on his temple by winding it around his head like a bandage, and was gratified when it stopped the bleeding almost immediately. He heard the rustle of dead leaves and turned around to find Zildiz furtively attempting to sidle away from him.
“Don’t even try it,” he told her, “Or I’ll run you down and knock you senseless. I’m taking you back to civilization. The Fleet needs to know what it’s up against out here, and you’re a veritable trove of information.”
Zildiz squatted back down and stared at him, simmering with resentment. Rene shook his head and continued his work, moving on to the monster that had been the first to die at the woman’s hands. Cutting open its hump, Rene was rewarded with a dense lump of thread still packed inside its spinneret. He took another twig and spooled it in, then wrapped the bundle of silk in a large leaf.
A leg twitched of its own accord. Rene nearly dropped the bundle as he sprang back, sword upraised. The devil’s limbs began doing a tap dance and Rene relaxed a bit, recognizing it as the onset of rigor mortis. The side of its face was split open and hanging loosely by a strap of flesh. Struck by a nagging suspicion, Rene stooped down and peeled off the segments of its head, holding the edge of his sword against its neck to decapitate it in the event that it proved too lively for his liking.
The musculature and armor tore away just like it had with Zildiz’s helm, and for the second time that night he found himself staring into the face of another living human being. Only this time it was a man whose face was utterly disfigured, a perversion of the basic form. In the place of his lower jaw were fingerlike protrusions of gummy tissue and exposed nerve endings. His nose cartilage was likewise missing, leaving only a pair of holes dribbling with snot. The man blinked, and glassy eyes with almost no whites at their edges fixed Rene in their gaze.
“Kill…me…” the man whispered.
Rene began to shake uncontrollably, wiping a trembling hand across his mouth as he was forced to consider the carnage he’d just wrought in a new and horrifying light. These weren’t three dead monsters littering the jungle floor; these were three dead men, and some of them he had killed himself.
“Kill me!” the man begged him. He was young, barely Rene’s age, his smooth skin untroubled by the wrinkles of age and worry. He had clear brown pupils and dark, expressive brows. If it weren’t for all the rest of him, Rene might’ve mistaken him for a fresh-faced recruit at the academy, or a paperboy climbing up the terraced apartments of inner hive to deliver news of the Fleet’s latest victory.
On unsteady legs Rene staggered back to Zildiz’s side and away from the awful truth he had uncovered.
“Something the matter?” Zildiz asked in a gleeful tone, “Feeling a little worse for wear, are we?”
“Shut it,” Rene said distantly. He dragged Zildiz to her feet and began winding the silk around her wrists, layering them over thick and tying them off with a simple knot. He kept the vines on her for added insurance and told her to start walking.
“Where to?” she demanded.
“I’m not feeding you to my children, if that’s what you’re asking,” he muttered, “I don’t have any to begin with, and even if I did, I sure as hell wouldn’t raise them to be cannibals.”
Zildiz didn’t move, so Rene grabbed her and frog marched her away. He had no real destination in mind—he just had to get away from this place and the bodies he’d made. Zildiz rounded on Rene, saying:
“Aren’t you going to deal with him? I only severed his neural connection to paralyze his exomorph. He’s still very much alive.”
“No!” Rene yelled, “That’s not how I—how people do things. Almighty ancestors, is that so hard for you to grasp?”
“Yes,” Zildiz replied quite candidly.
“He’s a living, breathing human being. I don’t know if you’ve heard, but those are pretty rare on Arachnea and worth keeping around.”
“No. He is a Leaper. After extracting your gilt helix, he and his packmates would devoured you right then and there.”
“That’s why you saved me, isn’t it? So they couldn’t obtain this shiny helix thing?”
Zildiz ignored his question, continuing:
“If you leave him here, at best he will die of exposure. At worst, his tribe will come looking for him, and if they find him, they will run us down and kill us anyway.”
Rene bit his lip. She spoke the truth and they both knew it. But after all this world had already taken from him, there remained one thing which he refused to part with. And Rene knew that if he gave in now and took the expedient option—the sensible option—he would be surrendering it forever.
“Sorry,” he said finally, “That’s against the rules.”
He dragged Zildiz over to the Leaper and spoke to him, saying:
“I won’t kill you. I’m not about to eat you either, so you can stop begging for a quick death. As long as you tell me what I want to know, we’ll leave you here and go our separate ways. I might even patch your wounds if you’re cooperative. Does that strike you as a fair bargain?”
The Leaper met this pronouncement with a look of utter perplexity that mirrored the one on Zildiz’s face.
“I’ll take that silence as a yes,” Rene said impatiently, “You’ll begin by telling me your name.”
“Kryptusshh,” the Leaper said slowly, as if not daring to hope.
“Very good. Are there any more of your people out there, Kryptus?”
“Why sshhould I trusht you? I would only be dooming more of my kindred, and there issh no certainty you would not kill me afterwardssh.”
“It’s a chance you have to take,” Rene shrugged, “Either that, or I’ll let this woman do as she pleases with you. And just between you and me,” he said in a loud stage whisper, “She doesn’t seem all that fond of your sort.”
Zildiz and Kryptus locked eyes with each other. Rene could almost feel the waves of hatred coming off her as she bristled, every tendon in her body tensing expectantly. Kryptus must have seen something he didn’t like, for he looked away and said:
“I am a warrior of the Weeping Vipersh. We are roughly eleven hundred sshtrong. One tenth of that number are bravesshh like me.”
“He lies,” Zildiz said, baring her teeth in a snarl, “That is less than half their true strength. He does not count the adolescents and the old loom-mothers, who are the deadliest of their kind.”
“Three hundred, then, if they are consshidered,” Kryptman quickly admitted, “Your pardon, merciful one.”
“I’ll excuse your forgetfulness just this once,” Rene warned, “But your memory better not fail you again.”
He questioned the Leaper closely. Kryptus claimed that only he and his pack had seen the safety pod’s crash landing, and that they had told no one else as they wished to claim the great prize all for themselves. The Weeping Vipers were the largest tribe in the rainforest and were always looking for an advantage over their numerous and belligerent neighbors. Apparently Kryptus had hoped to gain a modicum of the Divine Engine’s power by extracting something called a ‘gilt helix’ from Rene’s blood.
“Jussht one sample would have shatishfied uss,” Kryptus swore, “Then we would have taken you back to the Loom alive.”
“I’m sure nothing would’ve pleased you better,” Rene said wryly, all too cognizant of Zildiz’s earlier assumption that he planned to feed her to the Fleet’s youth.
Rene learned from Kryptus that the Divine Engine had ignited a blazing wildfire that was swiftly spreading north and west. The tribes would likely have noticed it by now, and would all be sending braves in a joint effort to douse the flames. For some reason all the Leapers felt collectively responsible for the wellbeing of the region, and could not allow it to come to harm for fear of dire repercussions.
“Last question. Is anyone going to come looking for you?”
“Not till the morning.”
“Good!” said Zildiz, breaking out of Rene’s grip and aiming a vicious kick at the side of the Leaper’s head. Rene barely caught her and yanked her back, shouting:
“Blood and thunder, woman! Is there nothing you won’t do to piss me off?”
“Are you insane? You cannot possibly mean to leave him alive!” the Gallivant hissed.
“That’s exactly what I’m going to do. Now come here!”
Rene took her by the elbow and pulled her forward, leaving Kryptus where he lay.
“You promished you would tend to my woundssh!” the Leaper cried after them.
“Don’t push your luck!” Rene said over his shoulder, “Anyone who follows us will meet the same end as your friends.”
He and his prisoner went tramping off into the night, Zildiz raging at him all the while.
“Fool! We will both come to regret that decision!”
“You’re probably right,” Rene had to agree.
“Then why did you do it?”
“For the same reason I’m letting you strut around and screech into my ear. What can I say? I’m a conversationalist.”
Link for all the chapters available here: Engines of Arachnea on Royal Road

i’m turning 21 on the 27th, and the day after i’m going home for a short visit with my best friends. the issue is, i don’t know if i can enjoy it the way i want because my physical tolerance is so finicky.
sometimes i can drink like normal and just have a few hours hung over the next day, if any at all. sometimes i drink a single shot or seltzer and two hours later my stomach is cramping and im sweating till i make myself throw it all up. i don’t get any hives or itching like ive seen for normal alcohol intolerance/ allergy. i have no clue what this is or why it happens, i always make sure i have enough to eat before but it still happens seemingly randomly, i know i need to go to a doctor to really get to the bottom of it but i don’t have time before i travel.
i barely drink (partially because of this issue, mostly because im just a social drinker), but i really wanna be able to partake with my friends, especially because one also just turned 21 this month. i know it sounds dumb but id like for it to even be an option. if anyone else has dealt with this, id be interested to hear about it!