Left me preface this by saying I LOVE short hair on other people. It’s so cute and fresh looking and many people look amazing with short hair. I am not one of those people. I had semi long hair and made the mistake of impulse cutting it past shoulder length and I just feel so….not pretty? Like long hair is so majestic to me. I suppose I look “okay” with short hair but I don’t feel “beautiful” without my long dark shiny locks. I also feel like people see through me now, whereas when it was long people would look twice at me. Idk. Does anyone relate?

In my game I am making a cleric who in his backstory used to be a powerfully cleric Myrkul before he goes on mission to distroy a Church of Evening glory but ended up getting trap and over the course of a few year start to worship Evening glory instead as he realises Myrkul has abandoned him and is sending knowone to help him. But he made a deal with Myrkul but to join the Myrkul cult he sacrificed his devotion(his ability to worship gods other than him) to show his fealty and now can’t fully devote himself to Evening glory and I want to show this in the way he worship her by try to recite a love poem about her every morning (something this she required her followers to do) but he can’t be he only can get a few word or line’s in before he starts to become physically sick and throwing up and then ask the story plot of the campaign goes on he can start to recite more and more of it before finally finishing it and reclaiming his devotion from Myrkul.
But the problem is I want to have a actual poem to say but I am ** terrible** at poetry and can not do it for the life of me so I was wondering if someone had one from a past campaign or if some one who is even half decent at poetry could help make me one please.

Am I the only one who does not enjoy eating at restaurants anymore? Omg, it used to be ever soo important to me, I was going every week for “the funnest time”. Now that I am sober, all I see is bored rich older ladies lunching, sipping on white wine, pretending and trying to convince themselves of having the time of their lives; bored couples, one of them chugging drinks just to make it through the experience; bored couples, both sober and wondering what the hell they are doing there; bored couples sipping white wine like a rich older lady; bunch of bros bro’ing it up; idle and completely pointless chit chat with the cute, sexualized waitress who keeps chirping “another one of this, another one of that”? - cuz bottom line, right?
The food is prepared unlovingly and to maximize profit, the atmosphere is artificial, you sit uncomfortably in your chair wondering when that mediocre grub may come, remembering times when you were downright desperate having similar questions in regards to your strong drink of choice, so you would order a whole bottle just to be safe; they can’t wait to take as much of your money as possible, to get you consuming preferable most expensively and get you the hell outta there swiftly — what kind of Stepford Wives shit are we subjecting ourselves to, am I right? Or am I just going to the wrong places?
Anyway, coffee shops and breakfast diners might still be nice from time to time, and wow, I actually now love going to the pub occasionally to drink tea like a proper Brit and observe all those unhinged rowdies (I never went to the pub when I was using, it would have been the shortest way to hell, so now I have no triggers there and finally get to go!) but man, do restaurants suck these days, no?

[Ok to monetize, but don't paywall. Set at the same party as the first part of the emo tsundere series and the reserved friend series, because apparently Mateo's parties are the perfect place to have a mental breakdown. Who knew? This character is also a little bit tsundere, but not as much as Angel is, and they're probably aro-ace. This character is a one-off, so don't expect more of them.]
(Talking on phone)
Honestly, ma, I cannot believe them. I knew they worked themself pretty hard, but this is way too much.
…
Yeah, they literally passed out in the middle of the party, ma. I barely caught them. They would have cracked their skull open if I didn't react in time. I had to get help carrying them to one of the guest rooms.
…
Oh, I think they're awake. Gotta go, ma. Love you and stuff. I'll call you again later.
…
(To listener)
Hey. Are we gonna talk about all this?
…
No, seriously though. You shouldn't have come to the party if you didn't have the energy.
…
No shit, I'm pissed at you! You need to take care of yourself, dumbass.
…
I'm not overreacting! You're under-reacting! You're acting like this is normal and it— it's not normal, right?
Right?
…
Goddammit. You absolutely fucking idiot. You should have said something sooner! I've literally been part of the problem! You helped me move into my new apartment, I dragged you to this party, and… and I'm worried! Okay? I'm worried.
…
Don't wanna be a burden?! You know what's a burden? Fainting out of nowhere! Overworking yourself and not telling anyone until it's too late! Worrying me fucking sick over you!!!
…
Why are you so surprised that I care so damn much? You know how I feel about you.
…
(Mildly annoyed)
Ugh, don't make me say it.
…
You're my friend. I care about you.
…
The fuck do you mean "that's it?" That's the complete and honest truth!
…
(Joking)
Did you think I had a crush on you or something?
…
You did? Uh… why?
…
Hate to break it to you, but you're just describing friendship.
…
Yeah. I'd want to catch any of my friends if they faint. Jenny, Cassidy, Lyric… and you. I'd be worried if any of them were overworking themselves.
…
(Cautiously)
Uh, you don't happen to have a crush on me, do you? Because I really don't, um… I'm not…
…
Yeah. Sorry. I don't feel the same.
…
Anyway, can we get back to the problem at hand?
…
Stop overworking yourself! I brought you to this party because I thought you could use a break, but apparently it's way worse than I realized. How many hours of sleep do you normally get?
…
That's not enough. Not by a fucking longshot.
…
Look, I don't know what you've been led to believe, but it's okay to be a burden sometimes! Part of having friends is that you can lean on each other a little. If you need help with something, let me know! Don't work yourself into an early grave!
…
Maybe I don't say it enough, but you matter. You're important. And if anyone says otherwise, I'll kick their fucking asses.
…
(Fondly)
Yes. Even if it's you, dumbass.
…
I'm gonna go and grab some food and water from the party downstairs. I get the feeling you need it. And once you're feeling better, I'm gonna drive you home and we're going to spend a quiet night together.
…
I don't need to be at this party. Mateo throws them all the time. There'll always be another one.
…
Okay, I'll be back in just a bit. Just… rest, got it?
…
Good.

This guy, he initiates a conversation with me as i newly joined the class and we hang out together in the hostel campus outside his block. His friends play love songs blasting out of a speaker from his room as we're sitting and talking on a bench. It was kinda nice and he too acknowledged that there was a connect by saying something like how so much happened right in the first meeting. He walked me till my block and we hugged good night. He seemed to show some interest and attachment, texting me, asking to meet often, showing concern for my well being, sending posts on insta, wanting to meet everyday and spend a longer time together when we do. In fact initially im the one that wasnt comfortable with the degree of attachment and expectation he seemed to have of me and tried to keep some distance cuz i sensed something off about him. He shared a couple cute lovey songs with me and also a public playlist full of sweet lovey songs. He calls me to get a picture with him on his film camera when he newly gets it. Goes and changes his outfit to match mine when i arrive and specially picks a spot to get our picture.
But he also had this deal going on with another girl in our class who he knew and was into from 1st year. They seemed awfully close and on some probing he reluctantly reveals about how she has a boyfriend but he's still been close and loyal to her, they've made out a couple of times too. Told me that they havent madeout this semester though (since when i joined). Yeah, i was kinda disgusted by the whole thing. Felt nauseous and feverish after knowing about this. It only confirmed and strengthened the ick i seemed to have right from the beginning. All the more concrete reason to keep my distance from him. But i wanted to stay friends in some capacity. Couldnt help but care and feel affection for him though. And i know it wasnt my business or my place to say or do anything about whatever they had going on but honestly, i just couldnt help but feel terrible about it all. I couldnt help but be affected by it despite trying to keep some distance. Seeing them around all the time, seeing them together irl and on social media despite not even being in much contact with them affected me A LOT.
Our already limited contact reduced all the more with time while their's seemed to have been going fine, maybe even better than before.
His contact with me became limited to just sometimes sending random insta posts. Most of the texts came from my side and his seemed to have become even more limited than before (and he seemed like a dry texter to begin with).
During our farewell, he didn't even bother trying to get a picture with me while had many of em with her, both ones from the phone and his film camera. I had to be the one to call him to come take at least one picture together. Seemed to have taken that too with a sense of obligation.
Then i tell him that i think our level of investment and care doesn't appear reciprocal or mutually fulfilling to me so it's better we dont meet or take a last picture before we leave. He writes an awful text and blocks me a while after that. I blocked him too after that horrendous text of his. Now i see him make an insta post of all his film photographs which includes the one we took together. He still has me blocked.
I just dont understand this guy, what happened here. Was he only interested in a friendship from the get go and had no feelings/interest whatsoever? Or did he have some interest just not enough to do anything significant about it. Based on his last text it felt like i wasnt even a good friend really, so then what, was i nothing to him from the start? Idk what his problem is/was. I was open to work through things, our issues. But he always responded in a dismissive and avoidant manner, making me feel crazy and like i was too much. I dont know what i did wrong, what went wrong here. It just hurts feeling like i didn't mean much to him even as a friend. I feel like an idiot to have cared so much for him. I dont know what he wanted from me really. Especially because he literally would never communicate or express what was going on with him much.
I dont know why this whole thing bothered me so much. Why his last text still keeps ringing in my head. All these unanswered questions in my head. Why i cared so much for him despite him and the situation being bad for me.

Ive been seeing this guy for 5 months. Sure it's really not that long, but in those 5 months we have done a lot together.
He was attentive and very into me for the first 3 months. We went on 3 trips together in that time frame and in my opinion each one was a blast. Everything seemed to be going fine after. We go on little adventures with each other each week and I truly have began to grow really strong feelings for this guy. After 3 months things began to die down a bit, which I thought was normal in most relationships. However one night we were drinking and he was drunk and he began to tell me he is unsure how he feels and never had that spark. I asked if he wanted to stop seeing me and he said no he just hasn't gotten there yet. We squashed the convo that night snuggled, and went to bed. The next day everything seemed fine. Fast forward to about 4.5 months until now where communication and being cute came to a halt. He still engaged with me and we still hung out but I sensed something was off. We were fine when we were together but through texts he was dry.
This Sunday I finally got the courage to bring up that conversation again and asked him where he sees this heading. Same thing, he's confused on how he feels and his feelings keep going back and forth. He loves being with me, spending time with me, adventures but sometimes he feels like it's more of a best friend vibe than someone he is dating. He said he is trying to work through that because he always wanted to marry his best friend.
I obviously asked if there was anything I could do to help move us forward in the right direction and he said there's nothing to fix and that nothing is broken, we have a lot of fun together and are very like minded but sometimes he thinks his feelings should be progressing. Like sometimes it's there and sometimes it's not.
Basically at this point I just had to tell him that I am backing off and to take care. I am so heartbroken and my self esteem has tanked since this conversation. I just want him to reach out to talk to me and see if anything has changed but I feel like that text will never come.
Sorry this is so long I just need to vent to the internet and hope someone reads it.

I'm trying to find a game for my girlfriend. She hasn't played a lot of games, but loves ori and has replayed both games several times. She doesn't have a lot of gaming experience and finds most games too frustrating and difficult. Ideally, I want to find a game that is easy, with cool art and music. I'm primarily looking for a metroidvania, but open to games from other genres if they fit most of her criteria (see bellow).
I've done some research and compiled a shortlist of candidate games (bellow) that seem to fit most of her criteria but I don't know a lot about the genre and would appreciate some other suggestions and help narrowing it down to one or two games. She has an Xbox One, a Wii, and a mediocre laptop that can run games that aren't too resource intensive. I have a PS4 I can lend her.
Thanks for any help/suggestions!
Game Criteria

• Not difficult, stressful, or frustrating, low consequences for dying
• 2D platforming (What she calls "sidescrolly jump around", she especially likes wall jumps)
• metroidvania aspects (big map to explore, power ups, platforming, hidden areas), and world exploration in general
• Cool art (she doesn't love pixel art), good music, cute characters, chill vibes
• Story should not be the main appeal, but she likes having some mild story elements

Candidate Games

• Unravel
• Gris
• Steamworld Dig 2
• Afterimage
• Yoku's Island Express
• Islets

If any of these games might be too difficult for her please let me know (I haven't played any of them before)

Ive been seeing this guy for 5 months. Sure it's really not that long, but in those 5 months we have done a lot together.
He was attentive and very into me for the first 3 months. We went on 3 trips together in that time frame and in my opinion each one was a blast. Everything seemed to be going fine after. We go on little adventures with each other each week and I truly have began to grow really strong feelings for this guy. After 3 months things began to die down a bit, which I thought was normal in most relationships. However one night we were drinking and he was drunk and he began to tell me he is unsure how he feels and never had that spark. I asked if he wanted to stop seeing me and he said no he just hasn't gotten there yet. We squashed the convo that night snuggled, and went to bed. The next day everything seemed fine. Fast forward to about 4.5 months until now where communication and being cute came to a halt. He still engaged with me and we still hung out but I sensed something was off. We were fine when we were together but through texts he was dry.
This Sunday I finally got the courage to bring up that conversation again and asked him where he sees this heading. Same thing, he's confused on how he feels and his feelings keep going back and forth. He loves being with me, spending time with me, adventures but sometimes he feels like it's more of a best friend vibe than someone he is dating. He said he is trying to work through that because he always wanted to marry his best friend.
I obviously asked if there was anything I could do to help move us forward in the right direction and he said there's nothing to fix and that nothing is broken, we have a lot of fun together and are very like minded but sometimes he thinks his feelings should be progressing. Like sometimes it's there and sometimes it's not.
Basically at this point I just had to tell him that I am backing off and to take care. I am so heartbroken and my self esteem has tanked since this conversation. I just want him to reach out to talk to me and see if anything has changed but I feel like that text will never come.
Sorry this is so long I just need to vent to the internet and hope someone reads it.

Hello,
I am Ily and I am a turkish girlie living in Germany! I am majoring in Orientalism and Arabic and would love some new penpals.
I've been penpalling for 4 years and enjoy writing long elaborate letters and make them look pretty and cute!
I enjoy all things and am generally a happy go lucky person who just wants to spread good vibes and sunshine vibes. I read a lot and paint and crochet!
I know English, German, French, Turkish and am learning MSA currently in university.
If I could spark your interest let me know and send me a message!
I don't mind any gender, but I would like it if you are between 18-27. Thank you!

Ive been seeing this guy for 5 months. Sure it's really not that long, but in those 5 months we have done a lot together.
He was attentive and very into me for the first 3 months. We went on 3 trips together in that time frame and in my opinion each one was a blast. Everything seemed to be going fine after. We go on little adventures with each other each week and I truly have began to grow really strong feelings for this guy. After 3 months things began to die down a bit, which I thought was normal in most relationships. However one night we were drinking and he was drunk and he began to tell me he is unsure how he feels and never had that spark. I asked if he wanted to stop seeing me and he said no he just hasn't gotten there yet. We squashed the convo that night snuggled, and went to bed. The next day everything seemed fine. Fast forward to about 4.5 months until now where communication and being cute came to a halt. He still engaged with me and we still hung out but I sensed something was off. We were fine when we were together but through texts he was dry.
This Sunday I finally got the courage to bring up that conversation again and asked him where he sees this heading. Same thing, he's confused on how he feels and his feelings keep going back and forth. He loves being with me, spending time with me, adventures but sometimes he feels like it's more of a best friend vibe than someone he is dating. He said he is trying to work through that because he always wanted to marry his best friend.
I obviously asked if there was anything I could do to help move us forward in the right direction and he said there's nothing to fix and that nothing is broken, we have a lot of fun together and are very like minded but sometimes he thinks his feelings should be progressing. Like sometimes it's there and sometimes it's not.
Basically at this point I just had to tell him that I am backing off and to take care. I am so heartbroken and my self esteem has tanked since this conversation. I just want him to reach out to talk to me and see if anything has changed but I feel like that text will never come.
Sorry this is so long I just need to vent to the internet and hope someone reads it.

Exploring the Intricacies of the Sestina**

Summary:
A sestina is a complex and structured poem consisting of six six-line stanzas (sexains) followed by a three-line stanza (tercet or envoi). The end words of the lines in each stanza follow a specific pattern, creating a unique and challenging form.
Examples:

1. "Sestina" by Elizabeth Bishop.
   
2. "A Miracle for Breakfast" by Elizabeth Bishop.
   
3. "Sestina" by John Ashbery.
   

Tips for Creative Writing:

• Choose Carefully: Select six words that can be used in various contexts and convey multiple meanings.
  
• Embrace Repetition: Use the end words in a way that contributes to the poem's overall meaning.
  
• Craft a Strong Envoi: The final three lines often summarize or provide resolution to the preceding stanzas.
  

Questions for Exploration:

1. How does the repeated use of end words impact the reader's experience?
   
2. Can you identify any contemporary poets who have experimented with the sestina form?
   

Additional Resources:

• Explore the sestinas of W. H. Auden and John Ashbery for diverse approaches.
  
• Read more of Elizabeth Bishop's work, particularly her collection "A Miracle for Breakfast."
  

Creative Writing Prompt:
Step 1: Choose six versatile and meaningful end words.
Step 2: Create six six-line stanzas, following the predetermined pattern.
Step 3: Craft a concluding three-line envoi, providing resolution or a new perspective.
Example (End Words: love, time, dance, song, heart, rhyme):
In the dance of time, love weaves its rhyme (A) A heart's silent song, a delicate dance (B) Time's embrace, a melody, a sweet romance (C) Love's rhythm echoes, a timeless chance (D) Dance with the heart, in this poetic rhyme (E) As time unfolds, a timeless, lyrical dance (F)

Hey guys! So, I'm always finding songs that remind me of certain books or characters and my latest obsession is SkyDxddy's remix of Joker by Dax. If you haven't heard it yet, I highly recommend! Anyways, there are some lyrics there that made me want to read a book where this could be the MFC's theme song or something. I'm currently reading Cute But Psycho by Beatrix Hollow and loving it, but it doesn't exactly emmit these particular vibes, so I was hoping y'all can help.
Premise is that the MFC is highly abused by her ex in all ways. Something gets her thrown into the Asylum where she meets multiple men who all become obsessed with her and help her heal, then help her escape and enact her revenge. I want it dark and spicy. I want her to be the one who gets her revenge while her men stand at her back. I want them to all be psycho and the men possessive, obsessive, and dirty as hell. The steamier and raunchier, the better.
I don't really want on screen grape scenes, though.
Here is some lyrics to help. The chorus is my favorite but I'll throw some other lines in too.
🎶 My turn. Why so serious baby? Why you look surprised after you drove me crazy? You forgot that I was dangerous and even stronger than before. You forgot that you stole my whole life, so now you owe me yours. You forgot about that night, well I have it burned inside my brain. I'm stuck inside an Asylum but tonight I will escape. You forgot to carry shame, you forgot that I'm insane, you forgot that Karma's coming and she has my fu(king name! Cue evil laugh 🎶 I'm feeling violent. Go figure. I'm now in the mood to watch you be disfigured. You can't keep your hands away, so I think I'll cut off your fingers 🎶

My husband and I (mid-30's, no kids) are looking to make a move in the next couple of years, and are looking to the PNW because if we're going to make a change, why not go big? We've lived on the east coast all of our lives in various states, both of us growing up in New England/New York and currently being in Florida. Florida is crazy though and despite our family being here, we are running out of the physical and mental energy to handle the weather, the politics, etc.
Our ideal wish list would be:

• Close to a location that offers motorcycle endorsement coaching courses/businesses. My husband owns his own digital marketing business but motorcycling (is that the word?? lol) is his passion and he loves to coach for folks looking to get their license/state endorsement. I assume these are likely all over, but it doesn't hurt to mention it because it's the only physical/in-person job requirement (I work remotely, as is his own business). His friend works for a company outside Seattle but jeez the COL seems crazy there.
  
• On that note, close to cool motorcycle routes, possibly general nature as I do like the occasional nature walk without being an intense outdoorsy person. I appreciate a nice view out my window while I read, haha.
  
• MCOL, most likely suburban to smaller town. I'd love to be near-ish to a cute/charming small-downtown, he'd like a reasonable sized lot. Hoping to find a 3/2 house for under 350k - is that a pipe dream? Reality check me if I'm way off base. We are used to 10-30 minute drives to most amenities/fun things to do - in a perfect world I'd like to be more walkable, but driving is not a deal-breaker as I know there are always compromises and that's an easy one to make.
  
• A place we can make friends. We are mid-30s, progressive liberal, no kids, kids-at-heart kind of adults who like board games, tabletop gaming, video games, reading (me), outdoorsy stuff (him).
  

We are not too picky and most wish list items have a fair amount of flexibility.
Open to suggestions for towns or areas to look at, or even reality checks/resetting expectations if the PNW might not be right for us. :)

Before someone tells me to "improve my appearance", I have already done the best I can for that. Gym. Diet. Exercise. Skincare. Style. Clothing. Cologne, etc. Yet it hasn't changed the fact that I am moderately balding as a 20 year old (the fully bald look is HORRIBLE on me), Indian in a white majority country (we are heavily discriminated against especially based on our appearance and lack of widespread sexual appeal), short at 5'5 AND AUTISTIC, all at the same time. When you ask a woman the characteristics of a man they will find the most repulsive, she is most likely going to think of me as i share all the traits that women generally find unappealing. I know there are women who like the bald look, or who like short guys, or who like indian guys or autistic guys, but it is going to be extremely rare to find a woman who will be appealed by someone who has all of these traits as they generally considered to be conventionally unattractive traits.
My Experiences and why I believe the above to be true:
Growing up, as an autistic undiagnosed person, not only was I bullied for my lack of social skills, kids and then teens in high school never failed to mention the fact that I was indian and of a different skin colour and how short I was. When I started balding in late high school, the bullying got very bad, almost unbearable. I have been able to make friends but I have now realised they were all really just pity friends who kind of adopted me under their wing coz they felt sorry for me. I have never been able to actually make a proper friend in my entire life until very recently in the past 3 years talking to other autistics. Especially with other girls and women. They were relentless in my school years, especially white girls. I have this weird trauma surrounding trying to befriend girls and its a major reason why I have basically zero romantic or sexual experience as a 20 year old.
Basically, what Im trying to say is that due to the unique combination of being both repulsive to look at and repulsive to talk to most men and women choose to ignore or avoid me as best they can. If i was just a regular neurotypical, it wouldnt matter how i would look coz i would always be able to compensate for it with social skills.
Why I think being an attractive autistic is MORE LIKELY to be a better experience
I have made a bunch of autistic friends online and in real life from meetups over the past 3 years. Ive noticed that the ones that fit into society's definition of conventional attractiveness (if your a guy, being tall, white, having a jawline) tend to be much better at masking and being liked by everyone. NTs are more likely to perceive their social deficiencies and autistic behaviours as more like "cute and quirky" personality traits rather than being "creepy and weird" like how they treat and think about me. I live in Australia, literally the land of the tall attractive blondes. One of the people I met at an autism meetup (lets call him aaron) looks like the tennis player matteo berrettini and is around 6'2 in height. Every time I meetup with this man at a public place like a restaurant, he ALWAYS gets approached by women of all ages. I asked him if he likes the attention and he told me that due to the constant approaches, he has basically learnt via trial and error the way to mask properly. And I agree with him because the way he talks, the professionalism and maturity he shows is very NT like. I wish I could have an experience like this. But I cannot because I have to push through the trauma in order to approach women adn other people for friendship. I have tried so hard to escape this social anxiety, even going to the lengths of self-harming via hitting myself yet it still cannot calm my anxiety when i try to approach and start a conversation with someone. Im scared they will notice my lack of social skills, or my unattractive appearance, or my balding head or my height, etc.
Another reason why I think being hot as an autistic is more likely to increase your quality of life is that due these constant appraoches and clout that you gain just by existing, the masking skills you learn combined with the happiness, confidence and validation you earn from having friends and a romantic partneromantic experiences will make it much easier to survive in a work environment.
Im not saying that conventionally attractive people with autism dont struggle. Ive heard stories from some about how their conventional attractiveness causes NTs to expect more from them socially and as a result, they end up getting gaslit and bullied when they dont meet those expectations. However, saying that this is a worse or same experience as being an unattractive autistic is very offensive to me. I would rather have the struggles of a hot autistic vs an ugly one any day lol. I mean its up to you tbh. But if you really believe that being a conventionally unattractive person with autism would be a better experience than a hot one, I really dont understand you and it makes me curious. I would like an explanation if your willing to share the reason.
There was this girl in uni that I was talking to. She was indian like me and very attractive. We were doing the same courses and everything and she told me how she had ADHD. She was pretty and ND? Perfect. Loves tennis like me. Always we talking about marvel and dc sh*t. Loves video games. Etc. I was so happy that a girl was talking to me like this so freely you know. But she only did this in class. I tried asking her once for a coffee and she made some excuse about having work right after class but i saw her at subway on campus like a few minutes after class anyways. I couldnt deal with pain of wanting to be with her so bad so I asked her out. She told me I was a creep and that I was so childlike and immature. She told me to go and learn how to be a man before i talk to women. I realise now that she never even saw me as a friend. Just a friendly acquaintance at uni. And I must have freaked her out with how i asked her out. Recently I saw on her public socials that shes with this mid looking white dude.
Ultimately, if you wish to socially conform, have friends, a job and a loving partner, you must either be conventionally attractive and/or neurotypical. I feel like most people in society are unattractive neurotypicals and they rely on social skills to achieve those 3 things. It compensates for the lack of physical appeal. And the fact that I cannot even do this and I am f*cked in both my physical appearnace and my neurotype makes me feel so worthless and defective. I understand now why people were always like this to me. Im just not meant for this world. Im a genetic failure.
I always use maladaptive daydreaming to escape this reality. I dream about being a tall, attractive white guy with fluffy hair and whos neurotypical. I always dream of being that guy that just effortlessly is able to make friends, be likeable and get dates and find a loving girl like that indian chick i met in class. Why couldnt I at least have one of those traits of either being conventionally attractive or neurotypical like 99% of other humans?
I feel so awful being so extremely lucky enough to be born in a rich developed country like australia and yet not being able to reap the socioeconomic rewards of it due to my condition. It feels like spite from god. I feel so insanely awful of all those other NTs in the world that are perfectly suited to make the most of life in a rich devleoepd country like mine but cannot due to the place they were born. I feel so awful for all those in palestine right now who are living in fear that they will die and dreaming of beign in my place whilst I sit here crying everyday after forcing myself to talk to people where I cannot even make the most basic conversation.

Hey all hope you're having a great day :)
So like most people i'm missing that special person in my life and it would be really nice to find someone that i can relate to, be 100% honest and open with and generally find my best friend.
Hopefully this would start out as friendship and if we click then we click, open to anyone from anywhere :)
Some stuff about me/hobbies
Video games, this is my biggest hobby by far, i play have an pretty big library of games i play so if you game, there is a high chance we would share stuff we could play, a few games i play often, League(i question it too don't worry) soulsbourne games (unga bunga builds) fallout's, i mainly play pc but have a switch and ps4 too.
TV/Film, if not doing the above, you can find me binge watching shows or films, such as B99, the office HIMYM, GoT (we can discuss how shit the last season was forever), Star Wars, Marvel stuff, SAW.
Animals, i have 2 dogs (yes i'll show you lots of pictures) and in general i love animals so much, so i'll probably spam you with pictures of random animals i think are cute or funny :)
Music, i listen to a wide variety of stuff, from rock and metal to dance/pop some electro swing, rap and other stuff, in general if i like a song i'll listen to it on repeat till i hate it but still listen to it anyway.
I try and be witty and funny most the time, I have a stupid sense of humour but will try and make you laugh most of the time, I can be shy to start with but i open up pretty quickly when i get comfortable with you :)
Don't be shy and hit me up if you think we would get on :)

I love to dress up more feminine and cross dress, as a FtM trans man it's very freeing to being accepting femininity back into my life. It makes me feel cute and I still know under the skirt and makeup I'm still a guy! Just sometimes, when I wear lower cut things, I see my chest hair. I was blessed with...a lot of hair growth via hormones. And I love my body! But, it feels like I'm less cute when I see my body and facial hair. I don't want to shave it off, as I look far weirder without...
I'm just self conscious and wanna know if anyone else kinda...feels this weird back and forth pull with their own body hair??

I am not giving up just yet, I know you are out there and wherever you are, I really hope this reaches you. There were times, when I was younger, where I used to cry myself to sleep pretty often, I've always felt lonely, insecure, like I am not good enough, not cute enough or smart or funny like everybody else. That shit hurt back then and made me even more reserved and insecure. I also dreamed about something real, authentic yet simple and genuine. I don't cry anymore, it's very rare. I am starting to worry about the fact that I am accepting it...and it's scary ngl. I still hope to find someone I can be myself with; someone I can rely on for emotional support; someone who can be patient and kind; who can be my best friend; whom I can trust fully; whom I can be proud of for their successes; who loves a lot of cuddles and being bothered a little; who doesn't mind someone who is a bit clingy; who will force me to do stuff when I lack the motivation to; who will laugh at my stupid jokes; who will go on adventures with me; who will smile at me when I am sad knowing that their smile melts me all the time; who is not afraid to tell me what she thinks; whom I can have conversations about all kind of topics; who is not afraid to be themselves. I could go on lol
Let's talk a little about me starting with a physical description. I am 174 cm tall ( 5'8''), white skin, black hair and brown eyes. I workout at the gym regularly and I eat healthy.
I am nerdy and I like videogames: I am a sucker for souls games, bg3, the witcher, read dead redemption 2, ff, metal gear, nier automata, indie games etc... Mostly single player but I played a lot of overwatch in the past. Recently I started playing Civilization VI ( very new to the game) and fell in love with the main soundtrack which is entirely in italian and inspired by Leonardo Da Vinci and his "dream of flight" (literal name of the song). Which...reminds me of someone who also dreams about something that seems impossible...😂🥺
I love animals (I have a dog), nature, I am usually a homebody and an introvert but I wouldn't mind doing outdoors activities with the right company. I watched a few anime, old movies and tv shows; always open to recommendations :) I am calm, patient, a bit awkward and I literally can't lie because you can always tell when I am or I am just too stupid to make up a good lie 😅 I am not big into politics or religion but I am left leaning and an atheist.
As for you: just be yourself! But please, write something about yourself if you decide to reach out...for some reason lol

Hey all hope you're having a great day :)
So like most people i'm missing that special person in my life and it would be really nice to find someone that i can relate to, be 100% honest and open with and generally find my best friend.
Hopefully this would start out as friendship and if we click then we click, open to anyone from anywhere :)
Some stuff about me/hobbies
Video games, this is my biggest hobby by far, i play have an pretty big library of games i play so if you game, there is a high chance we would share stuff we could play, a few games i play often, League(i question it too don't worry) soulsbourne games (unga bunga builds) fallout's, i mainly play pc but have a switch and ps4 too.
TV/Film, if not doing the above, you can find me binge watching shows or films, such as B99, the office HIMYM, GoT (we can discuss how shit the last season was forever), Star Wars, Marvel stuff, SAW.
Animals, i have 2 dogs (yes i'll show you lots of pictures) and in general i love animals so much, so i'll probably spam you with pictures of random animals i think are cute or funny :)
Music, i listen to a wide variety of stuff, from rock and metal to dance/pop some electro swing, rap and other stuff, in general if i like a song i'll listen to it on repeat till i hate it but still listen to it anyway.
I try and be witty and funny most the time, I have a stupid sense of humour but will try and make you laugh most of the time, I can be shy to start with but i open up pretty quickly when i get comfortable with you :)
Don't be shy and hit me up if you think we would get on :)