i have $7,642 in credit card debt. after paying my bills each month, i am left with $1,227. however, after expenses (food and gas), i am left with about $450 (give or take). i have figured i can allot $350 a month toward my debts, to leave myself with either a spare $100ish, or savings of $100ish (as i have zero savings currently) - or of course split it literally $50, $50. this puts me at roughly $87-$90 a week, that i can put towards my credit cards (7 total). what is my best course of action? should i pay them off one by one? (what seems like the obvious answer to me). or is there something else i’m missing? all of their interest rates are practically the same, ranging from 29-31%, so i don’t see a whole lot of reason to categorize by APR. however - i have one card that is the majority of my debt, being $3,700. 2 cards are $1,000 and the others are $200-$800. my thought was to pay them off smallest to largest? i initally planned to pay off the $3700 one with my tax refund in march, in hopes to have the rest done by then. but a vet visit set me back $700 of progress yesterday.

Greetings,
I owe about $5,400 for a personal loan that was secured against my car title with a 20.5% interest rate. This was a dumb decision I made when I didn't know I had better options but it was to make necessary car repairs and to help pay for an attorney for a family matter.
I owe about $9,000 on a credit card with a ~32% rate. This was used to finance my father-in-law's funeral.
Finally I owe about $3,000 to my state in unpaid taxes because I messed up and did not include a 1099R form when I had to take a 401k early distribution that was also for the previously mentioned attorney and to pay off wife's school balance so she could finish her degree. I am not yet eligible to initiate a repayment plan for this debt so I am not making any payments currently.
I specified the reason for each debt to show that the debt didn't come from unnecessary spending, it was mostly from unexpected, familial matters that are not reoccurring.
Credit score is in the low 700s and annual salary $244,000. I have submitted a loan application with my credit union to see what rate they'll quote me but that is still pending. Outside of them I have been quoted about 16.25% on a 4 or 5 year repayment schedule.

Been a big fan of Young Sheldon since the first season - I wasn't ever a super-fan of The Big Bang Theory, but the shift in format and tone for the Young Sheldon show was a breath of fresh air. There have been great shows in the last several years, but Young Sheldon was a particular diamond in the rough compared to a lot of the other shows on mainstream channels. I feel like they successfully took a pretty well-known stereotype of a character and managed to give a depth to him and more importantly his family, that was both pleasantly unexpected and relatively well-written.
The very first episode has him holding his father's hand at the dinner table, a few more after that his dad is in the hospital and Sheldon catches a scary glimpse of the reality of the situation.... At numerous points over the show, Older Sheldon laments that he wishes he'd have said more to his father, and that particular episode with the tornado and George and Missy in the car is possibly one of THE best family moments I've seen on TV in the last decade. Old Sheldon will usually narrate some prideful/tone-deaf crack that self-promotes him at various moments, but it felt like there was this underlying, emotional revelation he was having at various points in the narration. That Old Sheldon hadn't ever really given his father and mother too much credit initially, but on second examination he realises he overlooked things.
So I'm baffled as to how Memoir, the final episode - the one where they could potentially tie all of this together - feels like it's making a conscious effort to ignore all of the signalling that Old Sheldon has done as he has been telling this story. As the finale reveals he's been writing his memoir, I was expecting an older Sheldon that actively recognises that at least in part, he was in the wrong in various familial situations, but what they instead went with is actually.... kind of dark/disheartening to see that him and Amy are just kind of.... bickering. I get that Big Bang Sheldon's shtick is that he's socially awkward and misses important social cues, but Old Sheldon in the finale doesn't really seem to have changed at all in those scenes that we get to reacquaint with him and Amy. It feels like it clashes with the version of him that is telling the story this whole time - now it's a show about "him having emotional revelations here and there, but then Amy has to be the one not just to remind him, but basically mother him into a position of looking after his own kids".
I went into the episode figuring he was going to have Old Mary, Old Amy, and his kids there onscreen. That the whole point to this show was that while he was writing his memoir, Amy and his kids started asking about their grandfather and the family would have one final heartwarming sendoff where Old Sheldon voices that now that he has a Nobel, he want's to try and focus on taking a shot at giving his kids the same opportunities his parents (imperfect as they were) gave to him.... but what we got just kind of felt a little rushed? A little bitter from the writers? I see other people talking on here saying they feel like Missy didn't really have anything resolved in the end. And again, I feel like it's bit crummy to be left thinking "nope, Old Sheldon hasn't changed at all and he's only a barely-functional parent and not-a-hermit because of Amy". It's a weird note to end on and send the entire show off by saying that Young Sheldon capitulating to Mary just to make her feel better in the moment, is the lesson he should take into parenting - Sheldon fundamentally doesn't believe in baptism, but Amy asserts he did it because he cared about Mary, so he should follow his kids' passions the same way.... Am I insane for thinking that it's a really weird, if not bad take? Wasn't the point of the show that George was still keeping tabs on Sheldon's interests and standing up for the kid even beyond what Sheldon initially realised? In those moments where the launch got rained out and the boys were stranded in the motel, or George and Sheldon were on the plane, Mary wasn't right there over George's shoulder putting words into his mouth, he just kind of jumped into action - same as with the tornado. So I guess my takewaway is that it really BAFFLES me that Old Sheldon can tell this story and have insightful comments on it.... and then still completely miss the point like he's done no growing or changing. After this entire show, the final "theme" is to suck it up and comfort your family even if you don't like what they do, rather than to take the time to actually give them your interest and actually find reasons to believe in them - something we learned to do for George the more that the show revealed he was just a normal guy trying to keep stuff afloat.
In the end, the finale still gets the job done, but I feel like I'm insane to say that they could have pushed this harder, with the writing and emotions, and landed one of THE most memorable finales ever. That final episode doesn't ruin the whole series or anything hyperbolic, nor is it in any way controversial/polarising like How I Met Your Mother has been received, but I REALLY feel like they had some award-winning potential, and the writing just completely deflated our last moments with the Cooper family. It's almost like the writers don't want Young Sheldon's ending to be too conclusive or too impactful, so as to make you wanna roll right into Georgie & Mandy looking to see what happens to everyone next.

I own a small condo in a 6-story building in California. We have HOA fees and a HOA board.
Neighbor above me leaked water (slow leak) into the corner of my unit so I ended up with a soggy corner wall in my kitchen/living room, soggy/moldy carpet, and black mold inside wall/carpet. I called a plumber to see what was going on. Plumber said it was a leak from above and knocked on the above neighbors door to find the leak. Neighbor lets plumber in to find the problem and plumber got photos (which I have) of the source of the problem (slow leak under the sink) from the neighbor. I contact neighbor requesting his home owners insurance. No real damage to the building so HOA/building doesn’t have a claim against neighbor.
SURPRISE neighbor does not have homeowners insurance (stupid, but not illegal if you buy outright I believe). By text, neighbor tried to initially send over his “friend” to fix the issue. I refused that offer and got licensed consultations on fixing the damage. The HOA bylaws/guidelines that say owners are responsible for any damage they cause to other units and must make victim’s unit whole. HOA also says they require home owners insurance but they’re obviously not checking/enforcing.
The damage I incurred were walls had to be cut open and dried for two weeks, couldn’t use my kitchen, carpet pulled up, padding replaced, new paint, new wall, credit towards new carpet for % that was damaged (since it’s one large piece). I have documented diminished lung capacity from sarcoidosis so this had to be fixed very quickly which I communicated to the HOA and owner.
I had to open a claim with my homeowners insurance and had to pay deductible to get this fixed after neighbor refused to provide insurance and HOA board confirmed he did not have insurance. My insurance kind of implied they planned to go after the guy but now they’re saying he picked up the phone only once and hung up and is now not picking up their calls (I had his phone number from before and provided it to insurance).
What should I do? Should I get a lawyer to write a demand lawyer? Should I sue him for damages (my deductible, insurance will likely go up, perhaps hardship, and legal fees ). I don’t really want to sue but given how this has transpired, he could damage my unit however he wants and never have to be responsible causing me to continue to have to make claims against my own home owners insurance.
I’ve previously interacted with him on a very general neighborly basis, and he doesn’t seem to have a stream of income so I don’t think the a court could garnish wages nor force him to sell his home. There is a second home owner on the purchase that looks like a relative of his, but I can’t seem find this person on the internet.
Should I sue the HOA for not enforcing their bylaws and then they can deal with the leaking neighbor?

I own a small condo in a 6-story building in California. We have HOA fees and a HOA board.
Neighbor above me leaked water (slow leak) into the corner of my unit so I ended up with a soggy corner wall in my kitchen/living room, soggy/moldy carpet, and black mold inside wall/carpet. I called a plumber to see what was going on. Plumber said it was a leak from above and knocked on the above neighbors door to find the leak. Neighbor lets plumber in to find the problem and plumber got photos (which I have) of the source of the problem (slow leak under the sink) from the neighbor. I contact neighbor requesting his home owners insurance. No real damage to the building so HOA/building doesn’t have a claim against neighbor.
SURPRISE neighbor does not have homeowners insurance (stupid, but not illegal if you buy outright I believe). By text, neighbor tried to initially send over his “friend” to fix the issue. I refused that offer and got licensed consultations on fixing the damage. The HOA bylaws/guidelines that say owners are responsible for any damage they cause to other units and must make victim’s unit whole. HOA also says they require home owners insurance but they’re obviously not checking/enforcing.
The damage I incurred were walls had to be cut open and dried for two weeks, couldn’t use my kitchen, carpet pulled up, padding replaced, new paint, new wall, credit towards new carpet for % that was damaged (since it’s one large piece). I have documented diminished lung capacity from sarcoidosis so this had to be fixed very quickly which I communicated to the HOA and owner.
I had to open a claim with my homeowners insurance and had to pay deductible to get this fixed after neighbor refused to provide insurance and HOA board confirmed he did not have insurance. My insurance kind of implied they planned to go after the guy but now they’re saying he picked up the phone only once and hung up and is now not picking up their calls (I had his phone number from before and provided it to insurance).
What should I do? Should I get a lawyer to write a demand lawyer? Should I sue him for damages (my deductible, insurance will likely go up, perhaps hardship, and legal fees ). I don’t really want to sue but given how this has transpired, he could damage my unit however he wants and never have to be responsible causing me to continue to have to make claims against my own home owners insurance.
I’ve previously interacted with him on a very general neighborly basis, and he doesn’t seem to have a stream of income so I don’t think the a court could garnish wages nor force him to sell his home. There is a second home owner on the purchase that looks like a relative of his, but I can’t seem find this person on the internet.
Should I sue the HOA for not enforcing their bylaws and then they can deal with the leaking neighbor?

so in order to pay my medical bills and my credit card bills i have taken out multiple loans because i thought that at the time the money was what i needed, i in fact screwed myself over please dont lecture me i know that i screwed myself over. i am so frustrated and dont know what to do, car payment- 499 rent- 325 loans- 700 car insurance- 100 paypal- 50 citi- 30 other- 150 i make 17/hr and work 35 hours a week the loans take out from my account biweekly so whenever i get paid. please someone i just need genuine advice on what to do. i feel like i cant do it anymore. i cant pay off those loans. theyre charging so much for interest. these payments are throughout the month theyre not all at once.

Looking for advice, though I don’t know that there’s anything I can do. Right before April of this year, I lived in my deceased grandparents house. I was doing it as a mutual favor to my mom who was dealing with all their legal and estate stuff, so that the house wasn’t left empty (less chance of it being robbed after the estate sale with it looking lived in, and home owners insurance wouldn’t go up). Around that time, I got approved for a new credit card. I have three accounts open with capital one. Quicksilver, savor one, and my now new Walmart rewards one (as I work at Walmart). Around this time I got a new number, and made a new email. So I updated all that on my account, especially the address so that my new card would be sent to me, and not my mother’s address as it had been. It was hers cause I moved around too much at the time. My account then got locked up, after being suspected of fraudulent behavior. I called them, they told me to submit a picture of my id and my social security card, and a utility bill. I told them I don’t pay utilities, and they said I could submit a bank statement. I bank through one, which is a Walmart bank, and so I sent those things in and a ten days later I called back asking about it. My id and social were verified, but the bank statement didn’t count for some reason, even though it shows my name, address, and the full account number. I was frustrated they didn’t call me about it, and after they told me again I can submit a utility bill, I again said I didn’t pay them. They said I could submit a phone bill. Didn’t think much of it, cause a bank statement doesn’t really prove residency imo either. I called a couple times to verify this. By this time in our story, I had moved into my apartment. So I had to change the address on my phone bill and went to at&t and asked if could update that on my old bill. They said I’d have to wait for the new one, which would come out a month later at the latest. Well it comes out later than a month later, but I send that in. Then I get a call about how it has to be a landline, which was never once specified to me from the employees. Ive now gotten a notice that my account will close if I don’t get proof in 45 days. I’ve begged my mom to put me on a utility bill but she says it’s too much of a hassle since they’re trying to sell it soon. As a last resort, I’m opening my Arvest account back cause surely that bank statement would count. I’ve had to call to make every minimum payment since. I made it this past month, but got a notification about a missed minimum payment. I can’t even see the account! Now my %100 on my credit scores going to go down. I’m genuinely very upset, especially since if it went up I wasn’t told. I don’t know what to do at this point.

I'm looking into it, situated out of Dublin, Ireland.
The adventurer package is €2,389 a year for 200,000 avios (delivered 16,677 avios a month). So off the bat that's 1.1 cent per avios you're paying versus buying the same amount for €4,245 (2.1 cent per avios). If you buy it using an Avios-earning credit cards that's an additional 2,000 or so Avios.
Granted buying avios is almost *never* worth it, but when considering what you can get out of this it seems like decent value.
If you opt to fly with Qatar Airways from Dublin to Tokyo (stopping in Doha) costs 160,000 avios plus around ~€350 in taxes. The cash fare for this ticket is usually around €4-6k.
Take 8th to 30th of February 2025 for an example (actual dates I'm looking at) DUB-NRT with Qatar Airways.

• Cash fare is €5,678.75 return with Business Class (including QSuite)
• Reward flight is 160,000 avios + €359.77 cash in Business

You would still have 40,000 avios remaining which could cover a number of short haul economy + business flights in Europe, or even a one-way business flight to America.
All in all, for this flight alone you would've spent €2,748 which is still €2,930 less than the cash fare!
Even if you considered a cheaper route like DUB - DPS which is usually €4000, that's still €1,252 less + the value you have from the 40,000 remaining avios
Qatar have very good reward availability generally, and this is just one example. Of course you could redeem for BA/AA/Iberia/Aer Lingus etc. But from this example alone I think the Avios Subscription is worth it.
Some caveats though:

• The avios are delivered monthly. So for this trip, you would have to wait roughly 10 months after subscribing to have enough avios to book.
• This probably is only worth it if
  • (a) you know you will travel every year at least once in business class
  • (b) you have flexible travel plans
  • (c) you have enough avios to cover the cost of booking the flight now

But if you do meet that criteria, it seems somewhat of a no-brainer ... unless I am missing something?

So I have a total balance of $4500 on my Amex gold credit card. My APR is at its highest I plan on paying this all off in the next month. I have not paid this balance and it has been like this for a few months since I just been making minimum payments. How much will I owe in interest if I don’t make a payment in the next upcoming months will my balance double? I also owe another $600 on another credit card I open on making both these payments over the next few weeks aggressively

So i got this email on sunday, and opened it today, I've seen lots of other posts on it, but there's occasional variations, I just wanna see if anyone has anything else to say on the topic.
Hello pervert, I've sent this message from your iCloud mаil. I want to inform you about a very bad situation for you. However, you can benefit from it, if you will act wisеly. Have you heard of Pegasus? This is a spyware program that installs on computers and smartphones and allows hackers to monitor the activity of device owners. It provides access to your webcam, messengers, emails, call records, etc. It works well on Android, iOS, and Windows. I guess, you already figured out where I’m getting at. It’s been a few months since I installed it on all your dеviсеs because you were not quite choosy about what links to click on the intеrnеt. During this period, I’ve learned about all aspects of your private life, but оnе is of special significance to me. I’ve recorded many videos of you jerking off to highly controversial роrn videos. Given that the “questionable” genre is almost always the same, I can conclude that you have sick реrvеrsiоn. I doubt you’d want your friends, family and co-workers to know about it. However, I can do it in a few clicks. Every number in your contact Iist will suddenly receive these vidеоs – on WhatsApp, on Telegram, on Instagram, on Facebook, on email – everywhere. It is going to be a tsunami that will sweep away everything in its path, and first of all, your fоrmеr life. Don’t think of yourself as an innocent victim. No one knows where your реrvеrsiоn might lead in the future, so consider this a kind of deserved рunishmеnt to stop you. I’m some kind of God who sees everything. However, don’t panic. As we know, God is merciful and forgiving, and so do I. But my mеrсy is not free. Transfer 1500 USD to my Litecoin (LTC) wallet: (not sharing this) Once I receive confirmation of the transaction, I will реrmanently delete all videos compromising you, uninstаll Pegasus from all of your devices, and disappear from your life. You can be sure – my benefit is only money. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be writing to you, but destroy your life without a word in a second. I’ll be notified when you open my email, and from that moment you have exactly 48 hours to send the money. If cryptocurrencies are unchartered waters for you, don’t worry, it’s very simple. Just google “crypto exchange” or "buy Litecoin" and then it will be no harder than buying some useless stuff on Amazon. I strongly warn you against the following: * Do not reply to this email. I've sent it from your iCloud mail.* Do not contact the police. I have access to all your dеviсеs, and as soon as I find out you ran to the cops, videos will be published.* Don’t try to reset or destroy your dеviсеs. As I mentioned above: I’m monitoring all your activity, so you either agree to my terms or the vidеоs are рublished. Also, don’t forget that cryptocurrencies are anonymous, so it’s impossible to identify me using the provided аddrеss. Good luck, my perverted friend. I hope this is the last time we hear from each other.And some friendly advice: from now on, don’t be so careless about your online security.

Hello debt! I could use some advice on debt paydown. My spouse and I are currently working on some debt paydown in order for us to begin looking at buying a house.
We were fortunate enough for me to switch jobs and we now work in the same vicinity on the same schedule. Currently, we have around 12,500 in credit card debt, 10k of which is interest free for 1 year (balance transfer) and 12k (3% interest) owed on a 2019 Nissan Altima (81k miles). We have already taken the steps to reduce our spending and lifestyle and no longer contribute to increase debt.
Due to the job change, we are looking at selling one of our cars as we no longer use both. Our 2nd car is a paid off 2016 Mazda CX5 (117k miles), current KBB value around 11,500. Both cars need minor work, Brakes on both and suspension on altima. We are stuck between whether we sell the mazda and use the money to pay down the CC debt, or to sell the Altima and get rid of our $380/mo car payment and use that money instead.
We live in a large metro with around a 30 minute drive to work. The Altima averages around 10 more mpg than the cx5, which is where we start to question which car to keep. They are both good cars, we just don't know what the better option would be.
To me, it makes sense to keep the car that is paid off, but at the same time we could use that money to help pay off CC debt before the higher interest rates kick in. Therefore, I'm looking to you guys for advice. Please post your opinions below! Thank you!
Eta: My MiL lives with us and provides child care, so we do have a 3rd car available to us. Our 2nd car right now is purely extra and in a pinch, we have access to a 2nd car if needed.

Would anyone be able to provide any insight as to why my Capital One Venture X application was denied? I am having difficulties understanding the outlined reasons below:
Thank you for applying for a credit card issued by Capital One®. Unfortunately, after reviewing your application and information obtained from your consumer credit reports) from the consumer reporting agencies detailed on the back of this letter - we cannot approve your request at this time.
The reason(s) for our decision are:

• Based on your credit report from one or more of the agencies on the back of this letter, there is insufficient credit card history
• Based on your credit report from one or more of the agencies on the back of this letter, time since opening a credit card is too short
• Based on your credit report from one or more of the agencies on the back of this letter, number of closed accounts
• Based on your credit report from one or more of the agencies on the back of this letter, length of revolving credit history

If you feel we missed something or misread your information, then please write to us at P.O. Box 31290 Salt Lake City, UT 84131-0290 and include your Application ID number referenced above. (Please note: we recommend you contact the consumer reporting agencies first to ensure they have accurately reported your information to us. Contact information for the consumer reporting agencies is provided on the back of this letter.)
We know this isn't the answer you were hoping for, but we hope there is an opportunity to provide you new products and services in the future.
Sincerely, Capital One Customer Care Team
Here is some additional info for context:
Employed Total annual income: $168,341 Monthly rent/mortgage: $0 How often do you carry a balance on personal credit cards? (left it blank) Checking or savings accounts with Capital One: zero Payment history: never missed a payment Credit card usage: excellent Almost never carry a balance when payment is due 2 closed accounts 2 cards are with Capital One (one from 12yrs ago is an authorized user account that was created to establish credit) Credit age: 4 years and 11 months Derogatory marks: zero Hard inquiries: 0 before applying (now 1) Last credit card that I was approved for was in Dec 2023 Equifax 822 (after hard inquiry) Experian 794 (after hard inquiry) TransUnion 821 (after hard inquiry) $128,000 available credit across all cards 13 active accounts:
Capital One - 12yrs, 9mo PayPal - 10yrs, 11mo Capital One - 6yrs, 7mo Chase - 5yrs, 3mo Amex - 5yrs, 1mo Chase - 5yrs Chase - 4yrs, 9mo Chase - 4yrs, 4mo Chase - 3yrs, 3mo Chase - 3yrs Chase - 2yrs, 3mo Citi - 1yr, 4mo Amex - 5mo

Cambodia to me is just full of scams. From the Chinese-run crypto scam centers near the Thailand border, to the Cambodians not accepting worn USD, trying to swap your USD with fake bills, or just over charging foreigners.
Then there is the main 7-Eleven near Pub Street in downtown Siem Reap. Check the Google Maps Reviews for this place. The only 7-Eleven in the world that does not take credit cards. Cash only. They want cash only and will short-change you every chance they get and likely split the "stolen money" each day amongst themselves. Often if you pay with large USD notes, they will give you back some USD and some Cambodian Reil but it won't be the right amount. I realized later I was short changed and also over charged for my purchases. Something told me the price and change was off but silly me for thinking 7-Eleven is trustworthy and would not cheat me and damage their reputation. They never give you the receipt and even the little security guy is in on the scam if you think he will help you.
I won't be spending much money the rest of my trip. I don't trust anyone. I rented a scooter to transport myself around, will only pay in Reil, and won't be buying anything from the desperate shops and dirty kids. I will just eat and drive myself to free sites. This poor country can rot in hell.

Hello everyone
I messed up and started taking FF again after I had quit for the first time. I originally started taking FF soon after I quit drinking as a means to replace that social lubrication function of alcohol, so of course it snowballed from there. I had no idea what I was getting myself into and very quickly fell into drinking 3-5 a day for a few months until I got a litany of health issues and an insane amount of credit card debt. I ended up quitting because it was destroying my relationships (moody, acting insane), my eyes looked so sunken in, my skin looked awful, and I was getting near constant UTIs and horrible urinary retention which I attributed to the kratom. It nearly destroyed my relationship in another way because my boyfriend had his own stint with kratom before I knew him and warned me about it, so something I felt like I had a handle on soon got out of control and I was hiding it from him and so reasonably he was very upset with me. I fucked around and found out. He forgave me, and I spent a week being dope sick and feeling like death and afterwards I never felt better.
Fast forward to now...
I was going through a major episode and felt like my relationship was over and I decided fuck it, I'd rather drink one of these guys instead of having a drink. I just wanted to feel better and I felt so so guilty about it. Obviously I couldn't have just one, it's so habitual, and I'm back in the thick of it. I haven't had the pee problems this time, but I have been hanging out at a kava bar almost every day and got a bad bout of kava dermopathy (crocodile skin) and have had to slow down on that but obviously can't stop FF cold turkey and still be able to go to work, do daily tasks, etc. I need 3-4 days blocked off in order to overcome this and away from my boyfriend to be able to handle the withdrawals on my own without raising any red flags. I feel so guilty.
I mention the dermopathy because my newest condition that I suspect is related to these little shits is styes, which I suspect is kava related this time rather than kratom related based on the limited research I've done. Something about the kavalactones. I've never had a stye in my life, and now all of the sudden after my dermopathy had begun to clear up, I got like 5 styes stacked on top of each other on my left eyelid. My boyfriend popped them despite my pleas to let them be and sort themselves out but I am glad he did, because the relief was unimaginable. My eyelashes were getting caught in it too, making me wonder if it was even an ingrown eyelash, but I dunno anymore... because just as I thought this awful week and a half of having a painful, swollen eyelid was over, I began to get them in my other eye, and another one is cropping up on my under eye of the original eyelid. I feel so depressed and ugly and frustrated and in pain.
I really suspect that it's these fucking FFs, but wondering about y'all's experience and if this has happened to anyone else. Thanks for letting me vent. I know what to do, I just have to find the right timing. Looking for support and others' experiences. Thank you <3

Hello...again. I'm still crusading with everything that has helped me live (mostly) Chiari symptom free for many years, and the next idea I want to share is uncomfortable. It won't feel good to read but if you think it doesn't relate to you I promise you--it relates to everyone and anyone who has a chronic condition or is sick in any way.
Little info about me:
Type 1 Chiari, 20mm. Diagnosed 2016; surgery was offered but not taken. My primary symptom was/occasionally is debilitating head pain from strain/pressure.
Links to my previous posts on the subject:
Living Well With Chiari - Without Surgery
Take a Life Inventory
Reducing Triggers
Improving Overall Health
Now...
Don’t hate me for asking, but…what do you get out of being sick?
No one consciously likes being sick. No one longs for the skull-splitting pain that can accompany a Chiari malformation. No one relishes dizzy spells and nausea and eye sensitivity and poor coordination or the other twenty dozen symptoms that our doctors may or may not take seriously, that there may or may not be treatment for, and that may or may not rule our lives BUT with every illness there is always some kind of advantage.
At my worst, Chiari was the BEST at getting me out of things. Excruciating pain excused me from everything. Family gatherings, friend parties, work events…cleaning the house, taking care of myself, or doing anything other than watching TV and drinking wine. I didn’t have to do SHIT. Because I couldn’t. And the Chiari was permission to give no fucks what anyone else wanted or needed or how they felt about my withdrawal from life. It was the ultimate get-out-of-jail-free card.
I mean, I was miserable…but I was basking in that misery.
I was in so much pain I couldn’t think about how to live better. I couldn’t worry about such things as my weight or the future of my writing or how filthy my floors were. I was barely living. And it was awful.
It was also a way out.

i was a sick person.

To my core, that was me: SICK. I didn’t realize how bad it was until my husband—who never gets a cold—complained of a virus and my internal dialogue went something like this: What? He thinks he’s sick? What a laugh! He’s not sick. NOBODY is sick like me.
I owned illness above all else. I hated it, but it was MINE. Every coughing fit, every spike of head pain, every wall I stumbled into, every night I cried myself to sleep. Being sick was who I became.
And I would never get well until I stopped being a sick person.
The Chiari had its sneaky tendrils snaked into every facet of my life, like we were woven together in a most elaborate tapestry of illness and pain. To begin healing, I had to untether from it. I had to separate myself from every Chiari strand until every fiber of my being was free.
If it sounds metaphorical, it’s not. It’s literal and simple (though seldom easy). Every time Chiari became a thought or an excuse, that was my cue to change the dialogue. For example, when I was contemplating changing jobs, I remembered my brief stint as a bartender in 2011 and immediately my brain said: I can’t do that anymore; what if I have a coughing fit behind the bar? Limiting beliefs running rampant in my brain needed to get shut down and rewritten into something more supportive, like: I would love to work with animals or in nature. That’s the kind of job I should be looking for!
In that kind of rewrite, I’m not denying that I might encounter pain or discomfort, but I’m choosing not to let pain or discomfort be the focus or run the show. Instead of looking at what I don’t want to experience, I’m putting my attention on the things that I do.
More than changing my thoughts, I had to stop using Chiari as an excuse to get out of living…and everything else…which meant showing up one minute at a time in all the places that I used to avoid, being present with all the people and situations the Chiari had shielded me from.

if i wanted to live without its pain, i also had to live without its protection.

Now, it’s true that there are plenty of legitimate physical limitations that accompany illnesses, Chiari included, but the problem comes when you talk yourself out of anything and everything because of them. I could get out of bed, I just chose not to. I could show up in life, I just chose not to. I could write a book or clean my house or have a kid…I just chose not to.
Or, rather, the Chiari chose for me.
Pandering to Chiari’s whims wasn’t limited to thoughts. It was in every decision I made, every choice to live small, every act to hide and shut down. It was in the purse that I carried (will it fit a water bottle to stave off a coughing fit?), the places that I went (can’t go there, the air in that store is guaranteed to tickle my lungs), the way I spent my time (I can’t visit those friends…I’ll have too much fun and want to laugh and laughing hurts so my head so much), and plans for the future (how can I have children when I can’t even take care of myself?).
Untethering from Chiari took work. And it’s still ongoing. Most of the ways that I have used Chiari to limit myself have been eradicated. My life, as a result, looks vastly different than it did in 2016 at the height of the pain. Today I’m a stay at home mom with a son, I have energy, I take Zumba classes, I write every day, my fiction has been produced by podcasts, I spend time outdoors every day, I laugh (sometimes it still hurts), I go into stores (sometimes) without bottles of water, I don’t drink wine every night (I don’t need to), and I’m free from the anxiety and depression that was once as crippling as the head pain that I only seldom experience. I am living.
If there’s one strand that I haven’t untethered from yet, it’s the fear around getting sick. I am terrified of being around sick people. I can’t even blame COVID, though it certainly contributed to the anxiety. I don’t know if I’ll ever be comfortable with someone coughing in my vicinity, knowing how bad it will hurt my head if I catch whatever they’re hacking up, and I don’t know if it’s necessarily a bad thing to keep my distance when I know someone is sick (I mean, shouldn’t we be doing that anyway?) but I’m trying to be less afraid. Or, at least, I’m trying to be less of a jerk about it when that fear takes over and people don’t understand why their cold is literally my kryptonite.
What I don’t do is use Chiari as an excuse to get out of living. I show up every day in every way and life keeps getting better. Bigger. Chiari Free.

Hi all,
I'm looking at installing a BlackVue DR970X into my car and hardwiring the camera to my fuse box.
I am a little concerned with my car battery being drained due to parking mode, but I definitely want to have parking mode enabled... so looking to get more information at this point.
I know there is a voltage check cut-off which will turn the camera off if the camera doesn't detect a level of power, but I don't think this is what I want as the camera will then basically turn off within a couple of minutes of me turning off my car and not record events after this.
My questions:

1. Will the camera constantly draw power while my car is turned off/parked? From what I've read, parking mode just stops the camera from writing to the SD card memory unless there is an event but it is constantly drawing power in order to be ready for these events.
   
2. If the above is true: If I decide to not drive my car for two days - will the camera have drained my car battery since it was in parking mode constantly for those two days?
   
3. Is there possibly less power draw while in parking mode?
   

If anyone can answer the questions above or If anyone has their own personal experience to share, that would be appreciated!
Thanks in advance!

I’m 27 (f) and I have 3 children, all school aged. I’m currently doubled up w my parents and I want to move out and get my own house. I have under $1k in savings, and I work part time at a restaurant bringing in about $1600 monthly. I currently just graduated a phlebotomy course in hopes to be a full time phlebotomist, and making double what I am now.
My credit score is 600 and I have roughly $8k in debt (~3.5k in credit card debt from almost 3 years ago when I was irresponsible, ~5.5k in auto loan debt for the car I got in 2020 that I’m still paying $265 monthly , originally for 15k).
I am going to lose my housing in October.. my parents are giving me the boot, and I live in the North Eastern part of MA.
What should I do first to help me get to getting a house or at least a condo? I don’t want to rent if I can avoid it, it’s astronomical how high the rent is for a 2 bedroom. Should I pay off the debt first? Should I start saving hard and worry about debt later? The credit card debt is closed, so it will not accrue any more interest, and I did just open up another credit card to help with my credit. I will be using it strictly for gas and my phone bill. I do have a chime credit building card and have been doing awesome with it.
What should I do? I just want to know what is the best next step given my situation.
Okay, I can’t buy a house. However, what can I do now to have better credit and be able to ONE DAY get a house? I was thinking of a mobile home to start.

I read an earlier post about someone mentioning taking a loan out against their 401k.
Any of you guys ever done that or know the ins and outs of doing such a thing? I was considering it to pay off a credit card so that in theory I’d be paying myself back instead of a credit card company but I also don’t wanna shoot myself in the foot. Any input is graciously appreciated 🙏

I’m 27 (f) and I have 3 children, all school aged. I’m currently doubled up w my parents and I want to move out and get my own house. I have under $1k in savings, and I work part time at a restaurant. I currently just graduated a phlebotomy course in hopes to be a full time phlebotomist, and making double what I am now.
My credit score is 600 and I have roughly $8k in debt (~3.5k in credit card debt from almost 3 years ago when I was irresponsible, ~5.5k in auto loan debt for the car I got in 2020, originally for 15k).
I am going to lose my housing in October.. my parents are giving me the boot, and I live in the North Eastern part of MA.
What should I do first to help me get to getting a house or at least a condo? I don’t want to rent if I can avoid it, it’s astronomical how high the rent is for a 2 bedroom. Should I pay off the debt first? Should I start saving hard and worry about debt later? The credit card debt is closed, so it will not accrue any more interest, and I did just open up another credit card to help with my credit. I will be using it strictly for gas and my phone bill. I do have a chime credit building card and have been doing awesome with it.
What should I do?

I’m looking to refinance my private student loans either way but I was wondering if I can take out an extra ~4k to pay off a credit card also. I can afford the payment and am already approved but I was wondering if there’s anything wrong with doing this?
I know the new loan will pay off the old loan and they will send me a check with anything extra that was overpaid and I was going to use that to pay the credit card. I guess my question is, is this illegal or will it cause any problems?