Does my boyfriend still like me

Hi
I just realised that my mother just always centred everything back to her.
When I was maybe 5, we were on holidays and going for a walk but I lost my parents. So I did what my parents taught me. I returned to the place we were at last (which was our holiday house) with the hope that they would then look for me and find me. It felt extremely long but eventually my parents returned and the first thing was that my mother shouted at me for not following them. It was my fault that I got lost and my efforts to be responsible and return to a safe place weren't acknowledged.
Another anecdote. When I was 32 ish. I just broke up with my boyfriend that I had been with for seven years. I took the courage to tell my mother when on Skype and her reaction was exasperated "you could have told me!" because it was changing her plans to come and visit me.
I've never felt any emotional intimacy with my mother. Indeed, I feel extremely uncomfortable to share anything and it's gotten worse overtime.
On the other hand, my dad was fairly conflict avoidant and notably absent in the task of educating his children. He would defend me (in principle) but too often, my mother simply dominated and acted on her triggers, shouting a lot, scolding me, never apologizing or talking about issues in a calm manner.
When my grand parents died, especially my maternal grandfather (whom I loved dearly), no one cared about my feelings much. Certainly not my mother, since it was all about her loss.... Not a single souvenir or trinkets was kept for anyone who ever died. As if, things happen and we simply move on. My grandad died after spending a few months in a elderly house after living with my mother for a few years and her taking care of him (diapers etc) for a few weeks or months. I still remember how emotionally detached she was to him and it made me hate her even more. She seemed to treat him like an object and was often exasperated and delaying his care because it was inconvenient to her.
I would like to be able to accept that she did her best with what she had. I wish I wasn't so affected by the mother wound but I feel so angry and disgusted by her. Occasionally I feel sorry for her and pitty (because she also didn't have support and doesn't have a very fulfilling life I think). Mostly, I feel guilt for not being able to distance myself and simply make it incredibly difficult to have any contact with my family as a whole... I feel guilty for wanting a life without anyone from my family. It sounds very drastic but I feel so much better without the whole family drama, especially with the unsaid, ghost memories, and total absence of emotional connection. Everything is logistics and totally unauthentic. There is no content to conversations and I'm simply feeling obligated to talk on the phone once in a while and visit once in a year or so, but I have no heartfelt connection to do this. I still have a bit of a connection with my dad but still... It's limited. The man never ever visited me in any place I lived outside France, because he is so stubborn to move and claims to fear taking a plane (but literally never tried).
Albright.... Thanks for listening folks! Trauma dumping much? 😜😂(Humor is my regular way to cope....)
Feeling for all of you connecting with this shit. We didn't deserve that.

My husbands mother has had an issue initially with bedbugs and hoarding due to illness. while hoarding is an illness in itself we deemed that she simply could not be left alone mentally an need to care for her. we spoke often about how ill she was and both came to an agreement that we must care for her and what better way then get an extra room and simply care for her. shes been living with us for a few years now. and im starting to see her and what her issues are.. she WAS ill at one point but got much much better. i realised that she had issues at one point but she will not help herself in ANYWAY shape or form to the point that she justifies being disgusting. when she lived on her own we tried twice to get her out of a nasty situation. she had a major bedbug infestation in both of her houses. we cleaned out her house and basically got rid of everything but there were still some hanger ons and it infested her second place that we helped her out of....
this second place was next door to us. so we could of been closer. she neglected her dog and made us go out pick up SOME stuff for her. while we had that space she let the dog shit and piss all over the house and never even bathed she would simply buy new things an sit on her ass while trash and shit and piss would build up around her (this was when it was very bad and we decided to take her in) she got out of there which i though was for her own good. she brought in the bed bugs into a few of our homes and they infested our stuff us needing to start over constantly. we even got many exterminators but also costly. we changed to some natural fungus treatment and FINALLY it worked after 3 years of trying to get rid of them.
just this year alone i have a child on the way and its increasingly frustrating that even with a cleaner environment, her getting mental help. getting the proper meds and support i over heard her say to her therapist that she feels unwelcome because of how apparently obsessively clean i am. I am also NESTING and i never really lived in a messy home i dont like it. im not even asking her to clean her own room it is her space but my husband and my step son have tried to clean her room because frankly it does smell to some degree. and theres alot of clutter(way less horrid then what she had but bad nonetheless)
she just orders clothes instead of cleaning them even upon offering to clean her clothes for her. she hoards trash around my house saying she will recycle but she doesnt (beside the recycling bin itself) so i do it for her and she gets angry. she does have incontinence issues so she wears diapers. while she can go to the bathroom on her own she sometimes misses (understandable) but she leaves her dirty diapers on my counter instead of putting them in the trash literally next to the toilet. and leaves feeces and blood on the toilet seat for me to clean. she always makes us buy her things now and horribly unhealthy food all the time and complainss when we sometimes make food for her she doesnt like. (in an attempt to be sure everyone eats what they like we all take executive decisions as a group on what to eat). i feel like were leaving alot of legroom regardless even if we dont like it but its never good enough. this woman refused to eat a pizza because the peperoni was under the cheese..... my husband started getting angry (i always was and i regret this decision)
but i need a more clean home for my baby and i can no longer tend to this woman (aswell as myself and the rest of the familly. my husband has stepped in ALOT and talks to his mom telling her that she needs to for the child but she always gives me these passive aggressive or petty comments. like when i clean she says (my mom used to move furniture around to clean it). or (can you leave the bathroom door open ((so she can breathe but she never had an issue with the window open) i keep it closed to keep the animals out. her cats cant even pee properly so were constantly cleaning the cat litter for this woman. we run errands for her. we setup her appointments for her, we attempt to help her clean her room but she refuses putting everyone else at risk. she gets angry with us for not doing things her way. sometimes me and my husband argue and she says WE bother HER when we argue. to basically stop arguing because it makes HER uncomfortable. after being forgiving for so many years she runs the entire familly bending all of us around her damn fingers for her own convenience. frankly i gave her the benefit of the doubt for a very long time and i just cant take it anymore. even establishing to her that we need her to take care of herself a bit more so we can focus on the end of my pregnancy and when that baby arrives. she still acts like we HAVE to do everything for her. weve asked her to move her own car simple as so that we dont have to pay for tickets... today i just picked a ticket off of her car and she WILL blame my husband for not moving it. we work from home and dont always have the time to do it on time while she has zero responsibilities and NOTHING to do . i was at a point once where i told myself she cant shes sick. but she has no issue going out on her own when she wants to go shopping. she rarely leaves the house but shes perfectly able. i hate to say this but shes flat out LAZY and aa HOARDER simple as and is trying nothing to get better for herself when we directly ask her she gets better for 2 days then she reverts back to slob and (do everything for me go buy me more coke) attitude. i know i shouldnt butt in to the whole therapist thing either but she makes them housecalls instead which means we cant even live in our own house while the therapist is around. and when she sits on the couch.... she then stays there fo DAYS. making my livingroom a mess and TMI but i can SEEEEE her skin sheds ON MY COUCH.
im cleaning 24/7 my husband cares for me and helps me clean and so does his son. and we all contribute. except for her. its a big familly. and when i cant, i ask for help and i get it. BUT i see the stress my husband also undergoes. we have to care for absolutely everyones incompetence with a baby on the way and its extremely stressfull. the LEAST that i want is to keep her own stuff in check but she is completely ignorant.
I need to vent and i frankly want to yell at her and just tell her to wake the fuck up and take care of herself or shes out of my house. but truth is i have still seen my husbands mood improve to some degree knowing his mom is still in a better environment regardless. we cant just kick her out again to be left to her own.
sadly however im starting to think she should just no longer be my business and it should just be me taking care of my house regardless of her being here no matter how anngry or pettty she gets. she completely disagrees with how i handle my house. my relationship. and my familly as a whole. again i dont want to listen in on someones therapy session but the walls are thin. she makes her therapy sessions about how shes uncomfortable and dislikes how I handle MY life decisions and MY kids and MY relationship with my husband.
i love him and she cant even be grateful that we took her in to help. she cant even be grateful that she has a cleaner home to die in. and shes definitely taking advantage of us. when she doesnt need to. Im just TIRED

First let me start off by saying that I loved the first game, am a couple hours into this one, and I am completely riveted and enthralled by it. The presentation, art direction, the visceral combat, the performances, I love all this about it.
However, I am somewhat shocked by what the game is and what it isn't.
Having replayed the first one in preparation for the sequel, I was reminded about how much the first game defied gaming convention. No open world to explore, no skill points or skill trees, no gear drops, inventory, loot score, no crafting. There's literally not even a menu other than the settings menu. It had a vision of a stripped down, visceral and story focused game, and it boldly stuck to that vision in defiance of what games are expected to be, and I admired that about it.
That doesn't mean the game was perfect though. It had a tendency to be overly slow and boring at points. Exploration was largely pointless aside from some extra lore, which was good, but you had to stay standing near the lorestone to hear it as if you moved to far away it would stop. And because Senua moved so slow through the environment it felt like a punishment every time you found a dead end or a lorestone was particularly long. The puzzles ranged from ok (the illusion puzzles) to actively annoying (the find the shape in the environment puzzles). The combat was good, but overly easy due to insanely huge parry and dodge windows that made Senua feel more powerful/unstoppable than fit the story, and dealing with large crowds was always awkward. None of this ruined the experience, but were opportunities to improve.
This is where my shock came in. Hellblade 2 doesn't really improve on any of the things from the first. There are still long stretches of holding the stick forward, that frequently lead to boredom. A lot of these could have been cut in 1/3 to 1/2 and not negatively impacted the experience. Exploration is exactly same with slow movement, dead end paths, and lorestones you have to stand next to, only the listening radius is even smaller this time. The puzzles aren't any better, although the shapes being highlighted in red does make them easier to find...yay I guess? The combat is improved in my mind by it's more visceral and weighty nature, but it isn't deeper.
Also, they added nothing, for good or ill. Not one new feature, action, or gameplay pillar. And the sequel is more or less the same length as the first.
I guess this is to say that I had thought that with the success of the first game and Microsoft's war chest, we'd see something. An expansion of the game's scope, a refinement of it's mechanics. Something, anything, for a bigger, bolder sequel. But no, we got the same as the first, with a new story, upgraded visuals, and more mocap.
To be clear, this doesn't make it bad, or nor worth playing. But it is strange, and I guess I was hoping for more.

I've totally lost interest in YouTube, TV, podcasts, books, research, and videogames. (I don't entirely understand why either. I'm already on antidepressants and Adderall). I spend a lot of time face down on the floor feeling absolutely terrible and unable to do anything that would involve being in another position. This is despite all the medications and physical therapy. I'm still waiting on my first excision, which I doubt will actually fix anything.
All I ever seem to want these days is food (which I can't even get up to retrieve for myself), sleep, and cuddles from my boyfriend. Since things have gotten so bad with my health, I've really been taking up like all of my boyfriend's time outside of his job and I've been pretty demanding about having his company. He never complains and is super loving and sweet about it, but still. 💀
I like to write but I have a lot of trouble with it cause I've got lots of brain fog. I'm like 23 chapters into a book I was working on. I like to draw but I can't do it lying down. I want to be asleep but sleeping pills don't work on me. I'm kinda screwed lol any ideas? Was thinking crochet or something? Idk it's hard to be motivated to care about anything when my organs are all glued together and angry pulling at each other. All I want is to get out of this state and feel alive again. I'm being held hostage by my own body. It feels endless.
I have my own houseplant shop where I go to work by myself 6 days per week, but I've started needing to close early every day so I can just lie down and be dead and hungry. That's where I'm at right now. RIP to me, what should I do?

Let me just start off by saying that I know I've lost and there's nothing I can do to change the past. I want to know about how to avoid muggings like this in the future.
That being said here's the story:
Every year I go to my GI for my yearly check in. I have a mild case of Ulcerative colitis. I take lialda which is prescribed by this doctor. Every year the visit includes me getting vitals from the nurse, waiting for 10 minutes for the doc, he asks "how have you been feeling this year? Are the drugs still treating you okay?" I say "pretty good, one or two flair ups but nothing debilitating. Drugs still feel good, no side effects." .... He writes me another prescription, feels my stomach a bit, checks my chest and back with a stethoscope, answers a simple question of mine if I have one, writes me an order for a stool sample and blood work and then we're gone. 10 minutes absolute tops.
I got a bill this year for $100 more with a different billing code than the previous years' checkup. So I inquire and at first the clueless customer service billing department person says it's because I was there for 30 minutes rather than 0-29 minutes. Which I say is horse fucking shit and tell them to recode it. Then I get a call today saying that it's because it was a "MORE complex visit". This lady on the phone wasn't there the day of service but she's saying it's because I got my blood work done ahead of time this year.
My bloodwork every year is fine. When I get it done AFTER the visit all I get is a message from him in the "patient portal" online saying "looks good, see you next year." Since I got it done BEFORE, he charged me for the "analysis" which was the same as every other year except he said "looks good, see you next year" in person. So if I had waited to get the bloodwork done AFTER the visit I would've gotten the same analysis except it would've been for $100 less because he would've sent it via the online portal.
Now if those words are $100 more coming out of his golden lips then so be it. It's fucking highway robbery but welcome to American healthcare. You win this round you fucking prick.
TLDR: What I'm asking is does anybody have experience navigating Summit Medical and avoiding their little unforeseeable ass fuckings like this? How was I to know any of this ahead of time? That's my problem with it. Bonus if you work at Summit and hate them as much as me and want to share some of the insider info.

Hi guys, so you must know abt the cops festival or whatever it is called, anyways I really wanted to go there bcs I like the police and all, and I got the chance to do so, but I live in Marrakech so we had to leave Saturday morning [at 5AM] in order to get there and place our things and all, but I had an English exam on that day, my mom went and talked to ''l7ariss l3am'' and my mom signed a contract so that I will re-take the exam, and today when I went to the english teacher and talked to her and all she said that I won't be taking another exam and that it will be unfair and that everyone wanted to rest and all [I didn't tell them the actual reason and my parents decided to keep it personal], lmouhim she started saying abt how everyone wanted to rest and that, please keep in mind we had almost 7 seven or more exams that week, and like I was revising for 3 three weeks including the one week vacation and only got out two time due to medical reasons and I didn't revise only in one day bcs I went to the eye doctor and couldn't see shit, and my mom promised me to take me the festival if it was close to my city, [keep in mind that teacher absents alot of times], and well it is all bcs of the 7ariss l3am bcs the teacher said she received nothing and that my demand was rejected [I only now abt it after coming back from the 1 day and a half trip], and they had to make things worst and make regret the little break I took [guys keep in mind that the day before I travelled I was extremely sick and still stayed in school to pass my exams and only come back to home to my mom complaining abt how it is hard to raise me, even tho I am a good student and always listen to her and I never shout at her like my older sister [she is 25 with no job and my other sis is 23 who got her bachelor degree and does nothing] and always pay for my things like clothes and skin care and even medicine since I was 9 ] lmouhim the trip wasn't even good and the teacher was complaining abt how bad my parents are as if she is the one paying for my studies, and the lazy 7ariss 3am came up to me and said that my demand has been rejected and I should tell my mom, when I got back my mom was showering and they barely listen to me when I tell them anything abt school and I had to leave again with my friend in order to buy somethings for the class and her father was waiting for us so I didn't manage to tell her [I get it I can see that is my fault for not telling them] and when I got back I met my mom and told her abt that and all [it was 4pm and a half when I told her so the school didn't close yet] my mom found a missing call from the 7ariss l3am and when she called him back he hang out like it was nothing, after that my mom sem3at lia khel wednia again abt how bad of a daughter I am and how I always make things bad and all and it is all my fault and that chewehtha and all.
APART FROM THAT I really wanna know if missing the exam [it is the second exam so it is not counted] will affect my report incase like I wanna work at the police department or would they think that I am irresponsible and all. PLS TELL ME

about a year ago me and my at the time boyfriend had unprotected sex. I’m (F19) and he’s (M18). We were both virgins before each other, very loyal, no oral or anything. After we had sex, 2 weeks later I felt a hard lump near the opening of my vagina. After touching around I somehow noticed a soft bump at the surface. Maybe a little bigger than a pea. At first it was painless, I tried squeezing and after that, it stung when i touched it. It stung when touched for days. I could pee, no clusters, no itchiness at all. But could this have been a sore? It went away with no scabbing. But why did the surface of the skin sting? A month later I got 3 small fluid filled blisters on my lip, and before it was itching and burning, but it lasted almost a full day and disappeared. does this seem like herpes? and then 2 months later cracks on my lips appeared leaking clear fluid? i’m trying to move on from him but this baggage of thinking i’m carrying a virus has put a damper on everything. somebody be entirely honest.

I am new to the Z8 and would like to try out the 8.3k60p N-RAW video mode, not to create videos but to export still frames from the video.
My expectation is that this should provide me with more headroom for postprocessing than shooting in .jpg since the N-RAW is a 12bit RAW format, with the caveat of a 16:9 aspect ratio.
Has anyone of you tried this before and can give me any tips regarding settings/workflow? Does the quality of the extracted stills justify the hassle?

Two summers ago, I drove 7 hours one way to buy a 2019 Manual Genesis G70. It was used, not certified preowned, with just under 12K miles. The OEM tires were approaching the end of their useful life. It had one scratch on the rear passenger door and an annoying dealership permanent sticker on the trunk. It also only had one key. The head unit infotainment screen also had a small delamination crack - visible if you looked close but not perceptible if you ran your fingers across it. I bought it as is, though Genesis has a stellar warranty that transfers to the second owner so I still had 2 years warranty remaining. It was too far away for me to get it to a trusted mechanic to PPI, so the warranty was a huge factor.
On a long drive to the beach, the screens began to flicker. The car still ran mechanically fine, but it was alarming. I also noticed I couldn't get the Genesis Connected Services to work. A few weeks later, the screens were flickering again in my driveway. I shut the car off thinking if I just shut it off and turned it back on it would fix itself - for about 5 minutes I couldn't restart the car. It was as though it had a completely dead battery. I took it to my local dealer which unfortunately is an hour away but fortunately is reached through a combination of great back roads and highways. They were unable to replicate the issue but decided to attribute it to the head unit and replaced the entire thing on the basis of the delamination crack being covered by warranty. A week after I got the car back, the screens flickered again. I tried doing an over the air software update with Genesis Corporate over the phone and it kept failing, so we went back to the dealership. They manually did the update. After a few more weeks, the screens flickered again. I took it back down and they decided to go nuclear, completely uninstalling all software and updates from the car and then reinstalling the latest software as a clean slate. When I got it back - my genesis connected services were working and the screens never flickered again. BUT. My backup camera would now randomly stop working. I took it back and they tried a patch update to the backup camera software as well as replacing a crush washer that's apparently a known failure point for the backup camera. The problem persisted. They informed me there is a sensor in the transmission that tells the backup camera when the car is in reverse and when to turn on. That sensor apparently failed, and the solution is apparently to replace the entire transmission. I personally found that insane, but a new clutch and transmission covered fully under warranty? Sure, I'll enjoy your courtesy car a little longer. Yeah, on that note. Having the car in and out of the shop so often was annoying, but it was all covered under Genesis phenomenal warranty, the dealership was surprisingly patient, understanding and communicative, and since they're an hour away I had an opportunity to enjoy some courtesy cars on a good mix of backroads and highways. The courtesy cars I had in no particular order...

• 2023 Genesis G70, 2.0 Turbo AWD. Felt heavy and the automatic transmission seems to take up more space in the center console than the manual. Definitely quicker than my car, but I don't enjoy the weightyness to it. I think it might have something to do with how the power is being put down? Like it IS faster than my car and it DOES have better traction in corners but it FEELS much heavier.
  
• 2023 Sonata N-Line. Feels fast and light but not for me. The interior after getting out of a G70 is a let down and the front wheel drive and extra power don't do enough to make up for it. To clarify - I think this is a fun car if you want a quick, front wheel drive sedan - but it's not my cup of tea.
  
• 2022 Genesis G80. Cannot say enough good things about this car. Feels like a true luxobarge. Gorgeous, comfortable, quiet interior, everything feels heavy and expensive but it also has the power to get out of its own way. This was by far, hands down, no comparison, the best courtesy car I've ever been given. I'd go as far as to say it's one of the best cars I've ever driven in my life. That's relative of course, but it really was just such an impressive vehicle. It was hard to find anything not to like about it.
  
• 2023 Genesis G70, 3.3 twin turbo AWD. Holy hell this thing moves. So, this car has the sunroof - which I hate. In G70s with the sunroof, I have to put the seat all the way on the floor to have headroom. I'm 5'11" with a 32 inch inseam if that gives you an idea of my torso/leg ratio. It also had the same heavyness I felt in the 2.0 AWD courtesy car - it's something to do with the AWD but I don't know if it's how the system moves power around or if it's literally just the added weight of the system. It doesn't feel flickable the way my RWD car feels. And before you call me an idiot for describing my G70 as flickable, understand it's all relative and I haven't owned or driven that many performance cars in my life. I know my car isn't a miata. That all being said. So. Freaking. Fast. The V6 has a really unique sound to it unlike any other V6 I've experienced, I can't decide if I like it or not but it's definitely unique. The speed is really incredible and the AWD makes it so usable. You can floor it turning right or left off the line at a stoplight and it will hold the road and put the power down. If I weren't so sure this car would get me arrested, I'd want one.
  

I got my car back and I haven't had any issues with screens or backup cameras or anything else since the transmission replacement. So what's to love? Small, sporty, rear wheel drive car that has the power to break traction but isn't so powerful that you can't use all your gears. To me this car is straddling the line of slow car fast. It's incredibly comfortable, has a great stereo, looks cool, and it's got enough room for me, my spouse, my dog and a child seat. Also so glad I got the manual when I did - manual G70s are not easy to find. This was one of four for sale within 500 miles of my zip when I bought it. The rear seat is actually usable, but the foot room is tight. I'm 5'11 with a 32 inch inseam. If I take my shoes off, I can sit behind my driving position. I have the knee and hip room - but the foot room is very tight for an adult male. Decent gas mileage if you're not driving it like a hooligan. Feels light and eager to turn, even at speed.
What's not so good? The trunk has a high load floor so even though you have a good opening and footprint, it's shallow. It's not unusable, it's just not as deep as you'd expect it to be. I was still able to fit everything my spouse, my dog and I needed for a week at the beach. Speaking of long trips - no spare tire. That pissed me off. Not even a space saver? Come on. I think it should be a legal requirement that all cars have at least a space saver. In any case, this car can accept the same space saver spare kit the 3.3 model comes with or the Kia Stinger comes with. I ordered the parts online and installed a space saver spare myself. The backup camera shuts off as soon as you're out of reverse, even if you're rolling backwards in neutral. This is a nitpick, but I do wish the backup camera would stay on until I was rolling forward. Speaking of reverse, the pedal box is tight and I usually wear an 11 or 12 shoe depending on the brand. With certain shoes, I have to modify my left foot motion because my toe will catch the arm of the clutch pedal. Not impossible, but it can be annoying in certain pairs of shoes or if you have big feet.
Clutch and Transmission :: I'm gonna give this it's own section because I feel like this is a very case sensitive matter. Manuals I drove before this - a 2011 Subaru Outback. First manual car I bought and I drove it for 120K miles before an old dude in a Yukon totaled it. Some people have said they don't enjoy the feeling of this transmission, I don't have much to compare it to. I think the stick feel is fine. The actual clutch is a toss up for me. It's hydraulic, so on one hand it's buttery smooth and easy and very forgiving if you're doing a drive through or in stop and go traffic - things I took pains to avoid in my outback. The flip side is, the pedal gives you very little feedback. The bite point is harder to feel and it definitely numbs the experience a bit. If you're looking for a very raw, analog feeling transmission this is not it. This feels much more like an entry level luxury sport sedan that was given a manual just because it would be cool to have a manual, but also trying to do one in such a way that it wouldn't alienate luxury car buyers who generally find manuals to be a nuisance.
Would I go through it all again? Absolutely. The dealer trips were annoying but it let me test drive some cool stuff and I never paid a dime. The only thing I paid for was an oil change, a new set of tires (not from the dealer) and a new key cause I wanted to have two. The key was $700 which is offensive but unfortunately not unheard of with modern cars. The car is a blast. If you want a smallish, luxuryish, sportscarish vehicle that gives you a lot of nice stuff without being too expensive or too harsh, check out a G70. If you're a manual purist, you may love it or hate it - the clutch is definitely a sticking point for many people. Genesis Dealer? Mine is great, thank god. But I have heard plenty of horror stories from other owners who went to more Hyundai focused dealers. Maintenance? No mechanical issues at all, just weird software related glitches that were all covered under warranty. Mods? Not really planning anything big. I added a sun strip to the windshield, a dash cam and wiring for my radar detector. Also the spare tire. And I put PS4s on it. I plan to keep it stock - at least until it's paid off and the warranty is out.
Questions for reddit :: Catch cans! Should I have one on this car? Is there a recommended brand? Do your mechanics charge you more to empty them or do you empty them yourselves? What does a catch can do that the OEM air oil separator doesnt?
TL;DR :: I like my manual G70. It isn't very fast, but I like it.

I'm looking for more input to help me decide what to do about my job situation.
Some not so quick backstory on my narc:
I took an Executive Assistant position with a six-person company (with no HR department) just over a year ago. Shortly after I started, my boss went through a divorce, which significantly changed his behavior. Initially, the job was great, with hybrid and work-from-home options. However, as the divorce progressed, he began making inappropriate comments and exhibited troubling behavior.
He kept insisting that I hook him up with some of my friends. This is after telling me he was not looking for anything serious, so he was really asking for me to find someone he could have sex with. When I told him that was not part of my job description he just laughed and said I was also his personal assistant and I have to do anything he asks. He would often come into the office sick and would end up getting me sick. When I asked if he could cough into his shoulder instead of coughing openly all over the office (sometimes in my face like a child) he made a comment to the 27 year old he was seeing at the time that he and I made out with him and that's why he was sick. He came into my office laughing about how upset his 27 year old girlfriend was that he was making jokes about making out with his assistant. I told him "you can't say things like that to me or her" he laughed and walked away. I spent the next two hours crying on the phone to my coworker (who happens to be related to him and in no position of power any more because she's close to his ex wife so she cannot help me) and she insisted he wasn't like that. I couldn't tell anyone but my partner because I felt so ashamed. I went back into the office after crying and his first words to me were "wow you look like shit" I explained to him that I had been crying because his inappropriate comments made me feel like I am not professional and instead just a joke to him. He apologized and said he couldn't afford a defamation suit right now with the divorce and sent me home for the day.
This is only a few weeks into having this job so I am panicked thinking I am stuck at this point because who's going to hire someone that's only been at a company for a few weeks? How is that going to look on my resume.
As time went on I feel like I really dove in and made the job my own. I'm basically everything to the company with HR, IT, Accounting etc. as some of us EA's end up being for small companies. I am also taking over duties for his relative who is pregnant and she basically runs the company for him so I am truly the end all be all for all operations of the company.
While the inappropriate comments stopped (I think it was because he finally got a long term gf) other things started coming up. I took a long weekend vacation in August, October, December and February and on each of those vacations he ended up texting me that he didn't feel supported by me and that I needed to focus on streamlining things for him and he's not getting that enough from me. The October, December, February vacations I spent the first day crying because of these texts. Both times I came back from vacation and wrote emails asking how I can do better but both times I was written off and told "I don't want to talk about that right now." I asked him "can you please not text me criticisms while I am on vacation and instead have a sit down conversation with me face to face so that we might tackle these issues" he would say yes then of course it would never happen and this behavior continues.
More recently he has been getting a bit more emotionally abusive I guess? I have to text him reminders (which I have now stopped because of this conversation) every hour, half hour, 15 minutes and 5 minutes before each meeting. He was upset because a meeting got moved and I didn't adjust my notifications and he ended up being a half hour early to a meeting. He was very irate and has called me unreliable multiple times and has asked me to stop sending these notifications because my JD clearly states that I need to set up these notifications through technology (my mistake for trying to defend myself). I reminded him that my JD and operating manual that the old EA made states that I need to also text him these reminders, I had already had the notifications set up on his phone and asked if he was not seeing them. His response was "I'm saying the lack of self awareness with how you communicate to me is getting tiring. Your job is not on the line here but as you can see are going to keep moving forward and keep making improvements." I think he is projecting the self awareness but I just don't find this kind of feedback respectful or helpful.
He started off my annual review by telling me that I would not be getting my bonus as "freely" as I did last year and he's going to put a lot of stipulations in place to make sure I don't get it without a lot more work (that was feb and it's now almost june and these stipulations have still not been stated..). He said that he needs to spend more money on marketing and he's overpaying people so he will not give me a raise this year. He also went on to talk about how I have a bad attitude and how I've been frustrated with the new office. My commute tripled with this move and this office is a coworking space that does not give us the proper tools to operate our company - his gf helped him pick it out without knowing how we operate and it's only continued to hinder and cost us money so yes, I am frustrated and feel way out of my depth with zero support. On top of the fact that he makes snide comments that he doesn't believe I can't do xyz because the office wifi doesn't support it. He just recently hired another relative to take over the IT duties for the new office because I've been struggling and even she is running into the same problems I am seeing. (obviously he only hires relatives because those are the only people that put up with his bs longterm)
In conclusion, I am terrified of working the two weeks if I give notice given his penchant for hurting me. I am also terrified of giving same day notice but would be far more relieved if I block him on everything. However, he's the kind of vindictive person that would stalk me to find out where I've gone next to call them and let them know I did not give two weeks and actually quit the same day. I am also paranoid that he would try to sue me for leaving because I run EVERYthing in this company right now. I feel so beat down that I don't even feel like I have the energy to be a good EA right now. I know that's the point with all this gaslighting and demeaning behavior so I just need some help. I am trying not to end up with being sent into a grippy sock vacation but my mental health is definitely veering that way at this point.
(good news is I am on my fourth job and fifth job interview with another company this week)

during covid, i went from normal weight to overweight thanks to eating out of boredom, which quickly turned into binging. no one fucking cared. everyone was just telling me to simply stop eating. hell, my father even kept telling me to diet which just triggered another binging. i wanted to be skinny so fucking bad, and i realized that the only way to truly become skinny is to not eat anything at all—to completely separate myself from food, to realize that food is something that does not belong to me. that i dont need food. and with this mindset, i finally stopped binging. any food meant slowing down the process of losing the weight. food meant potentional trigger to binging. food meant so much guilt. and no food meant feeling hungry and apathic, which felt so fucking good. i quickly went from overweight back to the healthy bmi range and i was fucking dying inside and my body was giving up. but instead of anyone maybe wondering why i lost like fifteen fucking kilos in like two months, everyone was just congratulating me on my amazing weight loss. even now, looking at photos from that time, i looked pale as hell and my hair were slowly falling out. i looked like a living dead. like, seriously, how did no one see it? i was literally dying, i could have died if i didnt decide to get better and no one would even know why. it would be a sudden death. no health problems, it just happens right? it can happen to anyone. no one would even think of me having an eating disorder, not even doctors (the irony haha), because the last time when i was at hospital at yearly weight in, they weighted me and i had a healthy weight, so they didnt care. i was healthy, they said. in fact, this was the only time i could see my weight since i didnt even have a chance to step on a scale at home because we didn't have one, so this whole time i thought i was was still at healthy range. surprise, i was extremely underweight. so as i said, then later, it truly could not go on anymore without eating since it just led to more binging and more hair falling out, so i started eating and i gained some weight. and now i regret that so much bro. because i gained this weight and was partly recovered for some time, my parents now dont believe me when i tell them how bad i was suffering even before i got this official diagnosis about anorexia nervosa only like two months ago. my father now keeps showing me pictures of my emaciated self and asking me if i think i look fat here, considering he thinks i began starving myself even when i ‘was so skinny’, so he tries to convince me that i was skinny even before i ‘started’ starving myself. hes fucking trying to help me, i know, but it still makes me wanna kill myself. like, yes, obviously i now could see that i was skinny here because i was dying. now show me my overweight body—thats when i was fat. my father basically thinks i was not sick enough back then and, well, its really fucking triggering. no one took me seriously until i was severely underweight. i could have died at any fucking moment. i was literally screaming for help but no one fucking listened. they just told me how great i looked. only now when i was severely underweight did they finally start caring. but if someone listened back then, it could have then never had to go to this point. its killing me so much, im so scared of becoming fully weight restored because my mindset is still the same, and once again, once ill gain more weight, no one will again take me seriously. because healthy body=recovered mentally right? im gonna cry bro.
I was going through it fr fr (nothing changed but shhh)

So, this guy is a year younger than me (me 21F and him 20M: let’s call him B) and I met him August of 2022. A few months later it turned into a friends w/ benefits situation and fell apart around February of 2023 due to me just not being in a good mental state to continue to hangout w him without being toxic.
We continued to see each other at events because we have tons of mutual friends and we would make small talk. However, we’re both in greek life and whenever I would attend the date parties his frat put on with my gay bestie who’s in his frat he would never show up claiming he was busy w other things.
Fast forward to May 2024 and I just break up w my boyfriend of 10 months. I’m out at the bar one Friday night w my gay bestie in his frat and his brother has to borrow B’s fake id. The whole time I was in line we kept catching each others eye and he was standing close to the line watching even though his other friends walked off.
We ended up talking a lot that night but every time I went to touch his arm to get closer to talk in his ear (the bar was really loud) he would pull his arm away. I got the hint after he started doing that and the conversation was over so I walked away to talk to someone else in a different room. Every time I would walk away a few moments later he would end up in the same room just a few feet away.
I ended up talking to one of our mutual friends and he commented on B and i. He asked me if I was B’s girl because he “couldn’t help but notice how he’s been looking at me all night”. I knew he was looking at me in the line but I figured that was nothing because he kept pulling away from me.
We ended up shutting down the bar and going back to the frat house to hangout for a sec and same thing B kept following me to different rooms but subtly like he would show up a few min after I would leave.
I ended up going to leave and as I was walking out he stopped me and said “are you leaving?” And I was like yeah and he asks how I plan on getting home and I said uber it’s here and he said be safe and we hugged and said bye.
I flirtingly said hey snapchat or text me this summer and he smiled really big and said don’t worry I will. Im sure you can guess by now we’re 3 weeks in and he hasn’t contacted me.
I’m smart enough to know that if a guy actually likes you he will be obsessed with you and want to talk all the time so I’m guessing he still just sees me as a hookup. So, I would never contact him first.
What are your thoughts?

There was a trans guy in my old school who I've known for a few years, everyone always called him "she" before I knew he was trans, but they're not bigoted people and certainly not old and oblivious either. Yet, somehow they're STILL totally wrong?
Like what the fuck - this dude had short hair, male clothes, a neutral name, and male mannerisms. Only thing that's a little clocky I guess is his voice and no facial hair but he genuinely just looks prepubescent which is entirely possible in the grade I was in back then.
Even now that I know he's trans doesn't even change my perception of him, he always read as cis to me and still does. So...how doesn't this carry over to everyone else? Also, shouldn't transgender people like me be more perceptive of this kind of thing? That's why I'm even more confused.

Okay fellow humans, I’m kind of at a crossroads here and I need some advice… So lately some stuff went down with my roommate and her boyfriend and on a night of drinking she showed me and my boyfriend the screenshots of the conversations between her boyfriend and another female(s). I saw some things like “you get me soaked” and him calling her baby which honestly made my red flag radar start going off. I didn’t really pay attention to the time stamps or when the conversation happened but all I know is that if you’re in a relationship you shouldn’t be talking to other people like that, and I told my roommate those exact words. She also went to my boyfriend to talk about it as well and I’m pretty sure he told her the same thing. After that we continued having a good time together and went on with the night having fun as a little family. The next day (Mothers Day) my boyfriend and I were leaving to go see our beloved mamas, as I was walking out the door my roommates boyfriend stopped me to talk to me about last night. He looked at me and started with “First I want to clarify that those screenshots she showed you were old and happened before we started dating, she likes to show stuff like that when she’s drunk.” I was honestly speechless… the questions running through my head in that moment were “why are you trying to justify yourself with me right now?” And “If you already talked about it before with her why are you trying to talk to me?” Of course I didn’t ask those out loud but I just kind of gave him a glare, and I said “alright man” and walked out the door, mind you when he told me that his body language was off and fidgety AND she has never even showed us stuff like that before the previous times we got drunk together. When my roommate and her boyfriend talked about the screenshots… he said he was doing it for “money” because they were in a tight spot, at the time both of them were unemployed. But I smelt total bullshit with that excuse. There’s other ways to get money in a more honest way, I know getting hired and finding a new job is hard but talking to other women who aren’t even sugar mama age is a little sketchy to me, don’t you think? My boyfriend and I honestly were getting restless about the whole situation because we had a strong feeling he was lying right to her and our face. Later we came back home from the domains of our lovely mothers, I didn’t really want to talk to my roommates boyfriend so I went straight upstairs to take a shower while my boyfriend conversed with them downstairs. From what my boyfriend explained to me, he talked to them about the situation and they were allegedly on good terms and roommates boyfriend deleted/blocked all the girls he was talking to, he even let my boyfriend look through his phone to show proof. But there was more evidence of one more girl in his phone that wasn’t deleted, a girl under the name “Fggt😁😁” my boyfriend found a text from him to her saying “Be mine😍😍😍😍” HOW ARE YOU GOING TO TELL YOUR GIRL YOU BLOCKED EVERYONE AND STILL HAVE ONE LEFT?! The date of the text was from April 15, 2023… My roommate and her boyfriend have been together for the past 3 years… ummmm RED FLAG. My boyfriend didn’t say anything about what he found and handed the phone back. Later that week my boyfriend and I planned on talking to my roommate alone when her boyfriend was at work, and that’s what we did. About two or three days ago we pulled her outside to express our concerns, my boyfriend and I have both been in relationships with shitty people so we know how it feels to be cheated on so it was with good intentions and we were just trying to look out for her. My boyfriend told her to just keep an eye out and proceed with caution. I’m a very straightforward person with my feelings so I told her something similar but I also told her that I don’t really trust him anymore and that he might keep this behavior up and get sloppy about it in the future.. When we came back inside we again clarified that we are watching out for her and we are on her side. We also told her that if shit hits the fan with her relationship, we will be on her side 100% she was willing to listen to us and respected our opinion which we were grateful for. But then yesterday or maybe the day before I’m not too sure cause my perception of time sucks, me, my boyfriend, our best friend, and my roommates little brother were all having a good time drawing really stupid pictures of each other on the fridge, as a JOKE. Then my roommate and her boyfriend came downstairs and the vibe in the room totally shifted to complete tension, her boyfriend was visibly upset or irritated, standing in the corner with his arms crossed and just glaring at us (me, bf, best friend). We looked at him and tried showing him the drawing of him to get a laugh out of him but he was just stone face and not happy at all. We tried asking him what’s wrong but all we got was the silent treatment, which we didn’t really care. But he was being salty which ruined the vibe in the room so my boyfriend and I just went upstairs cause we didn’t want to be around a sourpuss. We didn’t know why he was upset, but my boyfriend and I assumed that our roommate told him about what we said to her and now he’s mad about it. Was it wrong to express or worry to her? Are we the as*holes for not wanting our friend to get hurt? I need some advice. What do ya’ll think about this??

For context, both of our parents are homophobic. The two of us are also 24.
We've been dating for 8, maybe 8 years. Close to ten at least. For the longest while I've wanted to get married to her. And ever since we were in college she always talked about how she wanted to get married to me too, what type of wedding we'd have, what kind of house we'd buy, how many kids we'd adopt, etc.
At the time, it of course it probably wasn't something she intended to act on because realistically we were both minors under the thumbs of our parents. That would be reserved for when we're adults. We're still adults and she still talks about those things, and she's promised me several times by now she'll marry me. But anytime I'd ask about a wedding date it's complete silence.
Well, I've never dwelled on it I guess. After all, everybody does things at her own pace. She's probably just isn't ready yet. But it's clear she wants it just as much as me, or else she wouldn't be talking about it so much.
But I find myself just feeling more and more frustrated by our relationship. And it's got nothing to do with the marriage thing, despite the fact I really do want to get married. Rather it's that combined with the fact that she insists on having dates at HOTELS of all places. In my opinion, hotels are not dates. And it's only a bit disrespectful to insist to hang out at one when I have the money to take us somewhere nice.
But no, not even that was the straw that broke the hamels back. What really did it was when she lied to her friends about our relationship status, claiming we were FRIENDS. As if FRIENDS would do wny of the things we've done together ffs.
But now that I think about it, what really made me snap was really when I had just in passing, casually referred to her as my girlfriend while speaking with my friend, and she had DRAGGED me away from them to a nearby alleyway just to SHOUT at me for calling my girlfriend, MY GIRLFRIEND. Like what? What sense does that make? If you're not my girlfriend, then what are you? Because I know I don't do any of the things I've done with her with my friends so what should I call her then?
And honestly, it was then I realize that she really sees our relationship as something to be ashamed of, that she sees me as a secret to hide. And it really hurts because I would do ANYTHING for this girl and when I say anything, I mean anything. She is like, my endbeall. Without her, I honestly feel like I'd be nothing. I just can't see myself let alone, my life without her. I'm not even trying to be dramatic when I say I genuinely feel as though I'd be nothing without her. She's my everything. And so it's just so sad to think she doesn't feel the same way that I do. Even though all this time we've been talking about marriage for so long.
And she's always talking about her parents but like, she knows that so long as she said the word I would have a room prepared for her before you could even say New York. Like I would be so happy if she just moved in with me. I would gladly let her in a heartbeat.
And she can't even really say anything about it either because it's like, most other couples have already been living together past the 4, maybe 5 year mark. And in my opinion I'm pretty sure that 8 years is a long time to not be living together in lesbian years so I don't get the problem here.

I (26F) and my boyfriend (24M) have been doing LDR for about a year and a half now from different countries. I currently live by myself in a quiet quant US beach town that iv had the pleasure of living in for 10 years. To say I LOVE it here, is an understatement. He lives with his parents/family in the EU. After a year he decided it was time for us to make moves to live together because neither of us can stand the distance if it were up to us.
My job allows me to work from wherever I want so it makes more sense for me to move to his country which is absolutely no problem for me. Im actually really excited about it. When I fly and I land in his country/city I feel the same love and excitement I do when I land where I live.
In Europe things move so slow(paperwork wise IYKYK) and we put in with this apartment company 6 months ago in the beginning of December. The plan was to move out of my apartment, move in with my parents for a few months until we hear from the apartment company. I never loved this idea as I havent lived home in 10 years. My parents/family are wonderful and we are tight knit but I never thought at my age Id move back in with them. I dont want to, but was willing to thinking we would have an update relatively soon.
My lease where I live ends in July, but they need to know if I am renewing by May 30th(10 days from today). Im really torn on what to do because of course the only thing I want right now is to close the distance between him and I, but it feels silly of me to get rid of my apartment when theres nothing to move into yet. Not only is there nothing to move in to but no update or ANYTHING about if we are approved or where we are in the process after SIX MONTHS!
Today I brought up the idea to him that maybe they will let me sign a 6 month lease so that will buy us time. He got mad and can barely even have a real conversation with me. Iv been telling him for MONTHS that I would really appreciate if he can make calls/appointments to try going to the office on his day off to see if he can speak with someone who can give us the slightest clue as to where we are at in this process. So now after I mentioned the 6 month lease thing he’s going on about how he made so much of an “effort” to try to figure this out and make appointments with the company to see whats going on. I believe he really has tried but never was able to actually get in with them or whatever. And I tell him that I appreciate him trying but to protect my happiness, i think 6 more months wouldn’t be a bad idea. He cant understand why I would do this, and I cant understand why this is a problem?
I understand its a lot of pressure on him to make this work but because I am moving to HIS country, where I do not speak the language, he does have to step up and be the one to work things out with the company. I told him so many times how appreciated it is and if I can do ANYTHING to take any load off of him to let me know. Its just- to me it seems like he’s not doing ENOUGH and he has no sense of urgency for this situation as Im about to lose my apartment because he cant go down there on his day off to figure things out. This is my life we are talking about and he doesn’t seem to even care. Does it not click that I am literally moving across the pond for him?
AITA for wanting to sign my lease for 6 more months just to see where things go? AITA for thinking he just isn’t doing enough to make this work?

I've made some posts on here before, and not much has gotten better, in fact, it's getting worse. My mental health has been deteriorating at a drastic rate this year due to my academic burdens, which in the. Led to me getting 2 bad grades. I know, killing yourself over grades does sound far fetched, I know, but when it's amplified, and said that you'll be a failure if you have 2 unsatisfactory grades, then, you feel like everything overwhelms you, and you might feel like you're worthless and are on the edge. At least that's how I'm feeling right now. I've tried hanging myself with the string that is used to close blinds and that didn't work. I've tried suffocating myself with a pillow, but that didn't work. I tried hanging myself with a belt in my closet, but that didn't work. I stole some of my parents medication, and tried overdosing on it, but that didn't work for me. Lastly, I'm thinking of slitting my throat. But upon further research, I come to find out, that cutting your throat is actually a challenge, and if you do happen to survive the slitting, you could very well suffer detrimental, life-changing injuries, that can render most parts of your body inoperable. Its just madness to me! I swear if there was an easier way, then I would be gone by now, but that isn't the case. I'm pretty sure most of us wouldn't hesitate if the implications of suicide were met by manageable and simple means; though, that's also not the case. I just want to stop being a burden, and not exist. Everyday is the same, but worse. I feel like I'm being chipped away at everyday. And everyday, I see myself becoming a more different person with a worsening personality. No one really listens to me, which I don't blame them, I'm not really interesting. I just wish I can just kill myself, and perhaps see what's on the other side. But I bet you that I'll still be alive to see tomorrow roll around, that's for sure.

I (21F) have been with my (23M) boyfriend for about two years. We fell madly in love, and he had treated me better than anyone I had ever been with. I also felt very safe and secure with him, and we got along as friends, not just lovers. Throughout our entire relationship, we have had to do long distance. We are from the same hometown. It wasn’t much of an issue in the beginning. He would drive 12 hours to see me sometimes. He’s in a really difficult engineering school, and I’m living at home working as a RVT. Since December, things have been different. He started to become very stressed at school, which I tried to support him through it the best I could. I mean, I tried really hard. He would communicate less and less and I would have no choice but to be understanding, because when I’d get upset or ask him about it, he’d get defensive and claim I didn’t understand and that I never could. He was so nice before and I’m so confused. He sent good morning and goodnight texts, would buy me beautiful gifts and tell me how gorgeous I was. I just felt so loved, and he became a big source of happiness during this really weird and hard time in my life. The more he seems to start pushing me away, I desperately try to keep him around. I can’t seem to help it. Well, he is graduating and he started to ask me about moving in with him. I was so excited because we wouldn’t have to do distance anymore. For a month, he let me believe that was the plan. I applied to a school out there to continue my education. I even started buying stuff for our apartment. Then, suddenly he didn’t want to. I don’t know why I didn’t make it a bigger deal because he completely changed my plan and flipped my life upside down. It was so embarrassing to tell everyone that he didn’t want me to come anymore. He rationalized it as that he had never lived alone before, and wanted a chance to settle into his new job, alone. And that he wants to read books??? He said he wanted to work on himself to be a better man for me. So, after mourning what I thought could have been I just dropped it. And then the texts starting to get even less. He won’t answer my calls sometimes, just because he doesn’t want to. One day, I drove to his school without telling him because I was so desperate to see and talk to him. He actually was so happy, and nice, and he held me and cried and we talked, and it all seemed fine. But after I left , he still wouldn’t talk to me much. He has a lot of family things going on and I can tell it’s been bad for his mental health. Anyway, though, what is making me write this is that I found a sticky note trying to rationalize and sort me into whether I’m going to be a good thing for his future. It said something about my hood qualities, but then said “Millions of women ahead of me, find spectacular one”. My heart broke. I asked him about it and he was saying he wrote it after a fight, and that it wasn’t really his feelings now. I just feel so stuck. I really wanted to be with him. He used to talk about us having babies, and he was so passionate. I miss the man he was so bad and I don’t know if holding out for him to get better as he says is the right idea. I just only want him. Currently, I am wildly jealous and sad because him and his friends (and their gfs) took a graduation trip and he didn’t invite me. It would’ve been my dream to go. I’ve been struggling so much here and I wish he cared so bad. He doesn’t text me while he’s on this trip. I see him active on social media, and he’ll occasionally throw me an i misss you before disappearing again. On Friday, I am driving to his graduation with his sister and mother. I don’t know how to act and what to do. I don’t want him to think it’s okay to be mean to me, but I don’t wanna fight on his graduation day. I guesss I’m just just miserable and need someone to talk to about it. I’m so embarrassed he’s even doing this to me. I could never to him. He says I’m the one making it a big deal that he won’t respond or communicate. I tried explaining how much it hurt. I just hate the idea that he’ll do everything for someone else that I have to beg for now, like he did in the beginning

Me [26F] and my boyfriend [31M] have been together for 4 years. He has a female friend, let's call her X.
She and I have never met. He and X have been friends since college, so they have been good friends for long than I have been together with my boyfriend. I'm okay with my boyfriend having female friends, and he's okay with me having male friends.
He says that we're the same age and that we're into some of the same things and that we would get along. I have met some of his other friends where we have no similar interests, but we get along just fine, so I'm not concerned about similar interests and whatnot.
The problem I have is that, when I asked my boyfriend to watch a movie with me, he said he would, but wanted to wait until it was out online so we don't have to go to a theatre to watch it. Then, he goes and watches this movie in theatres with X and a few others, but X was the one who initiated it.
My boyfriend likes the outdoors and said he would like to take me out on a long hike with a good view. However, it's been 4 years and we have never been on a long hike or even gone camping like he said he wanted to do with me. I'm not a huge avid hiker, but I like going on hikes. I don't have the stamina for long hikes which would make it a longer trip, but I'm willing to do it still and I have mentioned this to my boyfriend. Then, last summer, he said he was going on a long hike with X.
X is more outdoorsy than I am, so he might have wanted to do this long hike quicker than it would have been with me. Of course I wasn't going to say no to him just hanging out with his friend. However, during that time, my boyfriend works a typical 9-5 job. if you include commute, it would be 8-6. I was in school monday to friday as well, and would work early saturday mornings. We wouldn't really spend time together on the weekdays because it was already evening by the time we met up (we did not live together at the time) and he likes to go to bed early. Our only time to meet up was on Saturday, because we were both available. Sundays are my family days, which he is invited to, but he also sometimes hangs out with his family on Sundays. I didn't like that he decided to use one of our hangout days to go on a hike with X, especially because that was our day to spend together, and he could have gone on another day, like Sunday.
Overall, I just feel like he chooses X over me. He has said that I am a priority and am the most important person, but it doesn't feel that way. His actions don't really match up with his words imo. He said he would do things with me, doesn't, and then does it with X instead. I have always felt like a second priority. Either with work, his friends, or his phone, I feel like I'm a second choice. He can't leave work early to go on a date with me, but tries to leave early for work to hang out with his friends. He's on his phone when we're out together. This is an ongoing struggle we go through, but we have talked about it and it's improving.
I told him that I don't feel comfortable meeting her, I dont want to meet her, I have no intentions of being friends or friendly with her, and that I don't want anything to do with her. This is because every time I hear X's name, I just think about all the times my boyfriend has chosen her over me. I asked why he's so invested in X. He says they've been friends for a long time, that she gives out good vibes, and is a good person. He still wants us to meet and to get along, but I am still not interested.
He says that it's unfair to pinpoint my anger towards her because she didn't do anything wrong. I agree, but that doesn't make me want to meet her or anything. I just don't feel the need to meet her at all. I also told him that I don't want to hear her name or anything around me. However, I don't want him to keep secrets from me...so I'm not sure what to do here.
We're at that stage where we're talking about getting married, and I told him that I didn't want her at our wedding, to which he was very offended. For some context, my boyfriend has a really close male friend, lets call him Y. my boyfriend was not part of the groomsmen or any wedding preparation, only part of the wedding as an attendee. my boyfriend was a bit upset that he wasn't a part of the wedding in a more involved way, and two years later got the courage to ask his best friend why he wasn't part of the groomsmen because they thought they were super close. Y then said that Y's wife did not like my boyfriend and requested that he not be involved. SO, if his close friend was able to do that, I believe it shouldn't be a problem for my boyfriend to not invite someone to our wedding, because why would you want your bride to be upset on her wedding day?
i told him that she is basically putting a wedge between us, and asked if she's that important to him that he's willing to allow this wedge between us. He doesn't think there's a wedge but clearly there is. Me not wanting to do anything with her, him still wanting to be friends and not hiding things from me. I told him that I would prefer if he stopped contacting and stopped being friends with her, but I'm not going to force him on that because he's allowed to have friends. We ended our conversation here, but nothing really resolved from that. I don't believe he's committing infidelity with her, but due to all these other reasons I still don't like her.
I know I am harbouring resentment towards her when she hasn't really done anything...but I can't shake off the feeling of being uncomfortable and feeling off about her.
Any advice on what I should do in this situation? Thanks in advance.

Hi everyone,
I 27(F) have come back to live with my mother after a year abroad and it's been a year now. Now, I have the option to leave again but the guilt I feel about leaving her seems insurmountable. Plus, I get no emotional support at all from my family (mother and brother) on this life decision that they see as erratic. I would be leaving to look for a job over there so I can totally understand that my plan lack a bit of structure and can look worrying to her. However, this is the best option for me since there is career option for my field of studies in my home country and I'm just so intensely miserable here!
My mother and I have had a very complicated relationship basically my whole life. As a child, she and my brother used to sort of put me apart and they have always been very close. My brother tells her everything about him while I barely share anything because she always ends up judging me and not being supportive. Plus I'm queer which she doesn't accept and expects me to erase my identity and it's quite hard being openly gay im my country. If there are queer people in a movie she will make sure to show her disgust which is plain hurtful.
I've suffered from depression at least since I was 13 and never got any support from anyone at home. Since I'm a child, if I cry, they both take it personally and get angry at me. I was only diagnosed at around 19 and it has been a tough road to take without their support. I felt almost instantly better when I left to go abroad and coming back has been a soul-crushing experience.
My mother has also supported me financially, took us on holidays and even payed for an expensive university for me (which my brother, who is 4 years older than me, resents me for). Even since I'm back she doesn't ask money from me for the house. If I pay for groceries most of time she will send the money back to me which I honestly hate. Cause I feel this then gives her a reason to say that she does all those things for me and I am just an ungrateful and mean person. I know she recently told my brother that I sort of make ger life miserable cause I'm always in a bad mood.
This is where my guilt stems from but also from the fact that I'm so moody when around her. She gets on my nerves and my body is always tensed when I'm here. I just get so so sad seeing how she'll give a free pass to my brother but she always gets angry at me. I quit a job last year to be able to do an (online) internship at an international organisation, which is super hard to get and will be great for my CV since my field is so competitive. After I told her about my decision, she silent treated me for three weeks which is a tactic she has used on me since I was a child and it works! I was so excited about this internship but with how she reacted I've just beed demotivated and depressed and ofc if she sees me crying she gets angry. Which is why I'm moody honestly cause I can't never communicate my feelings and expect support or understanding so I just shut down. And it's extra hard since on the other hand she expects me to support her emotionally. When she is sick, she takes this little voice and just expects me to clean, cook and everything. But I can't do all of this. I already clean most of the house on my own while she barely does anything to be honest. And I cook for myself. I cooked for her when she was sick and she kept complaining the food made her feel bad so I mostly let her cook for herself now, plus with my internship and being depressed I just don't have the energy to do all of this. However depressed I am, she will never take care of me. If I get a fever she gets upset at me and thinks I'm pretending.
I'm so exhausted. My Saturdays consists just of that: cleaning. If I go out with friends she will often get upset cause she is staying home. When I ask her is she wants to go to an event or the cinema she says she doesn't want to or she will see then never gets back to me. I can't keep pushing. Even when we go out, we barely have anything to say to each other. I try to make conversation by asking about her work and colleagues and what not but she never asks me anything at all. If I talk about something nice that I did when I was abroad or tell about something sweet a friend did for me or said to me, she doesn't reply just like my brother. So I just shut up most of the time cause it's painful. Sometimes I feel like I might have a mood disorder seeing how my mood is all over the place here. But then I remember my time abroad or time spent with friends and remember I'm actually so calm and stable in these instances.
Now I said clearly this is my plan to leave. They asked a few questions but I feel they are both acting as if it will never happen anyway. And my mother has told me many times to stay here, get a job here, etc. But even if I moved out of her place I feel I would still be miserable in my home country. Firstly, I'll never get the chance to acquire experience in my field plus even if I'm not living with her she will expect me to like come see her, probably clean for her (which I wouldn't mind at all if on the other hand she was not going behind my back talking about how mean I am). And secondly I want to be free to live my life as a queer person. All I really want is to have peace within me. I don't care abiut having big houses and cars and buying new clothes like they do (they both work in finance - we are not rich but middle class and we live well).
When I think of my plan, I just get so overwhelmed just because my family gives no emotional support at all, no advice. Of course, this plan might fail but that's okay, and I would need them to tell me that. I need them to say they understand that leaving is the best option for me and hey it's good to give it a try and if it doesn't work out, well life will. I so badly need them to support me. But all I get is guilt tripping about her health and the fact she has no friends and will be alone. It's so overwhelming that I'm so depressed and come to think that the only solution for me right now would be to be dead honestly. Then I won't have to deal with any sadness or guilt and maybe I'm not meant to do something meaningful of my life anyway. I just need some advice to see if I'm beinh mean or if I deserve to have my life as I want it to be.