My home theme for pre school

i just turned 15 years old, my birthday was just basic nothing cool. but besides the point, the last month~ i’ve had 0 motivation and excitement for anything. yesterday i was hanging out with some of my friends and i was completely drained after less than an hour. i just couldn’t be bothered to do anything, i went home shortly after and i felt empty. i couldn’t bring myself to do anything not even school today, i was so unmotivated to do anything i told my mom i was sick to get out. in school too i can’t be motivated to do anything more than the bare minimum, idk if this is because it’s almost the end of the year or something else. but my grades are still fine, with mostly low B’s. after school, i jusy get home, lay in bed, and just lie there until i have to do it again. everyday jusy a single race to the fucking weekend. also, idk if i should’ve said this earlier, but in my “friend group” i’m kinda the odd one out almost always, if a hangout isn’t at my house, i probably wasn’t invited. i don’t know why, because i’m not rude to them, or treat them differently as each other. it’s just like im never there, i often feel ignored such as during lunch i’m talking and someone just fully talks over me not caring at all and i’m jusy there sitting. i don’t have any “true loyal” friends, and sometimes it does bother me, i wish i could have some people i can call real friends that i trust. but i just don’t. my parents always are pushing me to do things that i don’t want to do at all. like going to the gym and having friends over. i don’t like having friends over at all, the only time it ever happens is when i’m sort of forced to and then i still feel like the one lefy out. besides the friend part, i’ve felt really just hollow inside of that makes sense. nothing really seems to bother me much, nor do i care enough to do somethijg about it. it’s like i’m just there, no big role or anything important but jusy there. it’s caused me to lash out sometimes, yesterday my mom was just asking me what i wanted for dinner, (i love her she’s the nicest) and i just didn’t care at all to answer and kept on my way up the stairs. i didnt realize what just happened until a few hours later. but back to my hangout with my freidns yesterday, i was fine and just chilling until around 45 mibures we were watching a baseball game and i just kept putting my head down, partially because i was tired, but i was just drained inside to do the minimum. it was like i was on a timer for socializing and the. it just ended within an instant, i’ve kinda have felt like an otwice for the last 2 years ish ever since i stopped getting invited to things, i don’t know why, in the last peobably 9 months i’ve been out to a friends house 4 times, and 3 of those times was because i lied and said i couldn’t host. when i definitely could my parents LwYs have been pushing me to have people over especially for the last 2 months ish, i’m not currently in a sport and she thinks i’m jusy rotting my life away. that’s really it. apologies for grammar and spelling errors. i just had to tell this to someone, i don’t have anyone i trust enough to admit this too. i just have to get this out there it’s been eating me

need opinions on situation
hi there! my ex and I were together for almost 5 years. everything was always great and amazing, we never fought and we got a long extremely well. we had an unbeatable connection and he truly understood me and I understood him. we both have goals and wanted a future together, we always had so much fun and did everything together and talked all the time when apart.
we broke up just over 3 weeks ago. we were doing long distance at this point as he was in school, but i did see him just a few weeks prior. it was a week and a half before summer where he was coming home. the reasons he gave me is that “we aren’t on the same wavelength” “we don’t click” “i don’t see a future with you” “i just don’t love you like that anymore”. Long story short, he did this on the phone while away. the first week i waited for him to come home so we could talk in person, i couldn’t accept what had happened and felt he would feel different when he actually saw me as these seemed like thoughts that maybe arose due to the distance.
However, when we talked, he was cold and distant. he gave me absolutely nothing and told me he had to be mean so that I get the point. However, I didn’t wanna stop trying. I gave him his space for a week and then contacted again. we talked on the phone for an hour and had a good conversation where he claimed he missed me, we planned to hangout a week later so that i could hopefully feel better. when we hung out we had a good time and at the end he finally gave me the genuine conversation I deserved and acted like himself. told me things like “your more than enough and i can’t even understand it but my mind can’t grasp that your more than enough for me” “your perfect everything about you and you have always been so good to me and what we had was amazing”. he told me how he loves and cares about me deeply and i know that i could feel it. he was in straight tears and when we said goodbye i could feel his pain, myself also was a wreck as i cried to him for 2 hours.
now, it’s been 1 day of me going into no contact. i want him to come back so bad and realize that he’s still in love with me. however, he seems extremely sure of his decision. I just can’t process how you can be so emotional and care about someone so much as he does and not think it’s right. we didn’t end on bad terms, there was never any issues and i have so much love for him, i can’t picture myself going on without him. how can i get him back or to realize what he’s loosing? i don’t want any BS.

Hey All!
Im new to this subreddit but pretty active on other music related areas. Anyways I wanted to ask a couple of questions to some more experienced people.
So I’ve been playing guitar for almost two years (started in august? of 2022) back then I was playing on school instruments or an acoustic at home. In November 2022 in a bad wave of depression I bought my first guitar. A $270CAD Pacifica Stratocaster. I also got a stand, some picks, a strap and a small Boss Katana Mini for about $130 CAD.
This was one of the greatest purchases of my life.
Since then my guitar (which named Stevie) is my best friend and I love her. She’s here whenever I need to jam out, play some raging thrash riffs or need a quiet moment to play something softer. She’s pretty versatile and she’s helped me through some difficult battles and I’ve also gotten a much deeper appreciation and respect for music in general since buying her.
In January or February this year I bought a distortion pedal as well which I thought was an okay purchase.
Last month I decided I wanted to upgrade a few things.
Over time my playing has become more complex and more in favour of metal riffs and louder or faster jams as well as guitar solos. I felt my small amp couldn’t sustain much more power or volume and it was dying a slow death so I upgraded my amp to a 60W JyxPro which sounds amazing both clean and distorted and cost around $290 CAD.
I also decided to make a bit of an impulsive choice which had been in my mind for a while (so maybe not super impulsive). I found when playing with Stevie I wasn’t getting the quality of sound that I was looking for especially with heavier or faster songs, so I started looking for decent guitars with humbuckers that were also built for metal.
This is when I came across an Ibanez GRG131RX in matte black and red (around $400CAD) . i ordered it online through amazon immediately and it just arrived this morning. This is one hell of a beautiful instrument and it sounds much much deeper and richer. It’s lighter, looks more aesthetically appealing and has humbuckers. As excited as I was to open up the box, there is a part of my heart that is a bit sad for Stevie.
Another problem I have is they are very similar. Same shape, similar neck, both have five pickups, a ten and volume knob etc. the only different is colour, humbuckers on the Ibanez as well as an extra fret.
TL:DR: just bought a second guitar after just over a year and a half of playing and needing some questions answered or advice.
So here’s my questions:
Now that I have two guitars, what should I do with each?
Will playing my new guitar (which I’ve named Melinda) make me play Stevie less?
Did anyone else feel a bit of guilt after buying a second slightly more expensive guitar?
What are the perks of having more than one guitar even though they look kinda similar?
Did I make the right purchase?
Thank you everyone!!!

I was just thinking today about how I was looking forward to middle school as a kid. Elementary school was so awfully boring, but I also didn't really have any real friends so that didn't help. Still though, the thing is that I spent a lot of time by myself and that involved watching a lot of TV. And I'm not from the US, I live in Europe, but the TV shows were all from the US. And they kinda gave me a really cool fantasy of what school was gonna be like after elementary school. And yeah I'm sure anyone reading this is gonna think that, well, of course it's not actually like on TV, TV is fiction. But trust me, this is gonna be way more disappointing than you think. But I mean, at least I wasn't bullied, most people just sorta left me alone instead, so I don't wanna act as if school must definitely be better in other places. It's just that, it was so boring.
Hmm where do I begin. Two things constantly said in these TV shows that left me confused, kids often talked about classes they take, consider taking and don't take. And kids often talked about "this person from my x class". This gave me the idea that, unlike in elementary school, I'd get to at least somewhat choose what classes I might wanna take. Not at all how it worked, at least not at the schools that were options for me at the time I went to middle school in the early 2000s, as far as I can tell. I say as far as I can tell cause it was never explained to me either, it was explained to my parents, so that they could maybe talk to me and figure what to do with me. Anyway, you either went to trade school, which was seen as a huge embarrassment to your parents cause you are an idiot that's probably not gonna do college, or for 7th and 8th grade you decide on one of two options; latin or modern languages. Both of those come with a certain set of classes, you can't not take any of them and you can't take any that don't come with it. My parents didn't put much thought in it, they were just told that since I did so well in elementary school I should go for latin, as that's what smart kids do. It doesn't come with many interesting classes to me, but to be honest neither did the other option. I would have much rather gone to trade school, which has a technical studies option too that would come in handy for college, but many people just didn't like having to say that their kid goes to the trade school. In fact, I had a few people in my group failing on purpose cause they told their parents they wanna go to trade school but were just not allowed, so they protested by failing. Anyway, the other thing that had me confused about that, all classes are taken with the same group. You're in a group of about 20 people, they all have the same classes cause you don't get to pick and choose, why not have them do every class together. I'm not sure if that's supposed to get the group to know each other better or something, but really the result is just that you really don't get to know so many people. If you don't like any in this group so much, well tough luck, everybody only hangs out with people of their own group. You weren't even allowed to sit with people from another group for lunch, they assigned you a seat at a table for your group. And you know, many of them are kinda the same. This school was just for those two options I mentioned anyway, which are for preparing kids to continue to college in the future, anybody wanting to do any trade or anything technical would be at a different school that focuses on those. Oh and also, not a single girl in our group, I didn't really care at the time but thinking back about it it does seem kinda weird to have years of middle school where all classes were boys only. Alright on to the next topic to pick. Hmm how about the whole thing with the activities at school they always have on TV. You know, clubs, sports, arts, dances, science fairs, even elections for something? Yeah I did totally wonder what my future school was gonna have. Which was nothing, in fact I went to three different schools from 7th to 12th grade and they all had nothing. It's just not a thing here I guess? There is not a single thing to do other than go to your set of classes that day and go back home. No special events of any kind either, just an occasional educational school trip. But certainly nothing that would make you meet any people with similar interests, or anything social at all really. Here's sorta how it works instead. You wanna do any of this, you sign up for it somewhere else and go there after school. Like my city did have a music school and a drawing school for example, so if you wanna go to a 2nd school on some days after going to your 1st school that day then you're free to do that. Of course it'll be with completely different people that you probably don't ever see anywhere else. I was in an unrelated sports team for example, we played a game on saturdays that is only attended by parents and practiced 2 hours after school one day in the week. And I never saw anyone on the team ever outside of those couple of hours per week. That's also one kinda problem with that isn't it, the kids learning music or drawing at those specific schools after their main schools probably got to show off the things they learned at times, but only fellow kids at those specific schools and their parents would ever know about it. They never get to show off the stuff they learned to kids at their main schools.
Here's a little short one for in between that is kinda odd, personal lockers. Nobody ever got their own locker, not at any of the three schools I went to. We just stuff all our crap in our backpack and bring it home. Then in the morning figure out what we need that day, and carry it all back to school in our backpack. In elementary school we had a desk at school with a little space for books, but from middle school you're not always in the same classroom so you get no desk with storage. Every classroom you go to you bring your heavy backpack with everything for that day in it.
This is getting really long already so here's my last one, the whole social groups and cliques thing full of stereotypes. Well, just having anything like that at all really. Because of the stuff I wrote earlier, but also some of the rules. Like I already said, you take every class with your group and sit at an assigned place with your group for lunch, you can't go find someone who likes the same stuff as you from outside your group. Except during one of the three breaks, two of those are 10 minutes and one is 30 minutes. During those, you can walk around outside and go talk to anyone you want. Of course they are all total strangers to you though as you have never seen them do anything anywhere, since there are no activities at school other than your classes. But here are some of the rules we had. No electronic devices, so you can't listen to or show anyone any music or play any videogames with anyone. I mean no phones either but almost all of those couldn't really do anything other than call and text at the time anyway. No 'distracting' hair, whether that is a weird style or having any part of it any color that does not appear natural in humans. No 'distracting' clothing either, but at least no uniforms. No tattoos or piercings of any kind, except earrings but one time an acceptable looking punk came in with a safety pin earring he did at home and that did not count as an allowed earring. Actually come to think of it, the punks were the only group. Everybody else just looked the same as everybody else. And these punks were just 4 people. We knew they were punks cause of their outfit, they pushed the boundaries of distracting. And sometimes too far, like with the safety pin. But they usually wore a flat cap, a denim jacket with a few punk patches and leather boots. Probably the coolest looking people at the school, mostly because I couldn't tell you what anyone else looked like now, I totally forgot everything except their face. Though I was also a bit of an exception. I was the guy with long hair. Not that anybody knew anything about me cause I didn't talk, but they did know me as the one guy in school with long hair. They couldn't really ban that as I don't think they could ban things for only one gender. But yeah, you only have the opportunity to talk to people not in your group during the short breaks, but how would you decide who to go talk to? You never talked to any of these kids, all you got is how they look, and they're barely allowed to change their look from anything default.
Alright I'm gonna end it here. I guess the conclusion is that if you make school as absolutely boring as possible then there is not gonna be as much trouble, I think that might have been the goal at least? Just come in, get your education that day, go home, no drama. Is that better? I wouldn't know, I haven't been to other schools of course. But I sure couldn't help but wish it had a little more going on like they did on TV.

I'm a student I'm a 19F year old student in college dating a guy I been with for going on 3 years now I have a overall good relationship with my parents though we often butt heads a lot...throughout my whole life I had a "problem with boys" it started when I was 14F I started dating of course being young and dumb i did dumb things like texting inappropriately. My parents would go through my phone and find thing an make me break up with them even if we wasn't texting inappropriate as well...When I was 15F I met a guy who was Muslim who I started dating when I was 16F and he ended up sharing at part of his religion with me I got very close with his family but my parents are Christian so when they saw I was changing my views on my own religion and actually starting to love Islam and wanted to convert they forced me to break up with him i didn't want to because he was also my friend so I left home and this caused a big deal... my grandma called the police on me and I got brought home being forced to now see or talk to him, quite my job( I worked with him), and not graduate early (I was ahead and had great grades in High school). A year later I met my current Boyfriend who I truly love and I know loves me. Me and my boyfriend me 16M and 17F I am a year older. I try to hide him from my parents because I know they would probably tell me to break up with him or start going through my phone again. Which they did go through my phone and saw I was dating him and wanted me to break up with him but I didn't We continue dating and we wasn't perfect we were young a dumb as well when we first started dating we wasn't allowed to go on dates because we both didn't have a car so I try to sneak to his house ar got caught then a year ago I sneaked him into m house for a day while my parents where gone on ltheAsshole I'm a student I'm a 19 year old student in college dating a guy I been with for going on 3 years now I have a overall good relationship with my parents though we often butt heads a lot...throughout my whole life I had a "problem with boys" it started when I was 14 I started dating of course being young and dumb i did dumb things like texting inappropriately. My parents would go through my phone and find thing an make me break up with them even if we wasn't texting inappropriate as well...When I was 15 I met a guy who was Muslim who I started dating when I was 16 and he ended up sharing at part of his religion with me I got very close with his family but my parents are Christian so when they saw I was changing my views on my own religion and actually starting to love Islam and wanted to convert they forced me to break up with him i didn't want to because he was also my friend so I left home and this caused a big deal... my grandma called the police on me and I got brought home being forced to now see or talk to him, quite my job( I worked with him), and not graduate early (I was ahead and had great grades in High school). A year later I met my current Boyfriend who I truly love and I know loves me. Me and my boyfriend me 16 and 17 I am a year older. I try to hide him from my parents because I know they would probably tell me to break up with him or start going through my phone again. Which they did go through my phone and saw I was dating him and wanted me to break up with him but I didn't We continue dating and we wasn't perfect we were young a dumb as well when we first started dating we wasn't allowed to go on dates because we both didn't have a car so I try to sneak to his house ar got caught then a year ago I sneaked him into m house for a day while my parents where gone on vacation he felt uneasy because he knew my parents are strict and didn't want to get me in trouble but we did anyway and we were successful... Until 6 months later me and my dad had been arguing because of how I felt he treats me (we have a rocky relationship and when me mad he will ignore me for weeks) this turned into a family problem because my grandma and mom got into it and he felt I was putting all the blame on him. So one day I came home after going to meet my boyfriend ate the park (they knew I was meeting him) I came home and we got into a big argument. My dad said he doesn't talk to me because how I act and told me how he had on camera me sneaking my boyfriend in the house. I felt really bad and knew I was wrong but confused why he just now decided to confront me about it. But why forced me to break up with my boyfriend i didn't want to because I love him we been dating now for 2 years as well and I'm 18 but to go into college so I packed my stuff and tried to leave, my boyfriend wanted me to come stay with him till I could move into my dorm but my dad got mad and got physically aggressive and stoped me( gave me bruises on my arm). I brought all my college supplies myself man's my mom broke it in the front yard with a hammer... I even gave them my car keys and was but to leave to my boyfriend house in the Uber I bought. But they forced me to stay and break up with him also I wasn' allowed to go live on campus anymore. Now a year later my parents hate him and since I live in there house I'm not allowed to see him( we met one a week at my college to see each other secretly). They said I did this to myself and I always blame them… I don’t know what to think.

Hey All!
Im new to this subreddit but pretty active on other music related areas. Anyways I wanted to ask a couple of questions to some more experienced people.
So I’ve been playing guitar for almost two years (started in august? of 2022) back then I was playing on school instruments or an acoustic at home. In November 2022 in a bad wave of depression I bought my first guitar. A $270CAD Pacifica Stratocaster. I also got a stand, some picks, a strap and a small Boss Katana Mini for about $130 CAD.
This was one of the greatest purchases of my life.
Since then my guitar (which named Stevie) is my best friend and I love her. She’s here whenever I need to jam out, play some raging thrash riffs or need a quiet moment to play something softer. She’s pretty versatile and she’s helped me through some difficult battles and I’ve also gotten a much deeper appreciation and respect for music in general since buying her.
In January or February this year I bought a distortion pedal as well which I thought was an okay purchase.
Last month I decided I wanted to upgrade a few things.
Over time my playing has become more complex and more in favour of metal riffs and louder or faster jams as well as guitar solos. I felt my small amp couldn’t sustain much more power or volume and it was dying a slow death so I upgraded my amp to a 60W JyxPro which sounds amazing both clean and distorted and cost around $290 CAD.
I also decided to make a bit of an impulsive choice which had been in my mind for a while (so maybe not super impulsive). I found when playing with Stevie I wasn’t getting the quality of sound that I was looking for especially with heavier or faster songs, so I started looking for decent guitars with humbuckers that were also built for metal.
This is when I came across an Ibanez GRG131RX in matte black and red (around $400CAD) . i ordered it online through amazon immediately and it just arrived this morning. This is one hell of a beautiful instrument and it sounds much much deeper and richer. It’s lighter, looks more aesthetically appealing and has humbuckers. As excited as I was to open up the box, there is a part of my heart that is a bit sad for Stevie.
Another problem I have is they are very similar. Same shape, similar neck, both have five pickups, a ten and volume knob etc. the only different is colour, humbuckers on the Ibanez as well as an extra fret.
TL:DR: just bought a second guitar after just over a year and a half of playing and needing some questions answered or advice.
So here’s my questions:
Now that I have two guitars, what should I do with each?
Will playing my new guitar (which I’ve named Melinda) make me play Stevie less?
Did anyone else feel a bit of guilt after buying a second slightly more expensive guitar?
What are the perks of having more than one guitar even though they look kinda similar?
Did I make the right purchase?
Thank you everyone!!!

Hey All!
Im new to this subreddit but pretty active on other music related areas. Anyways I wanted to ask a couple of questions to some more experienced people.
So I’ve been playing guitar for almost two years (started in august? of 2022) back then I was playing on school instruments or an acoustic at home. In November 2022 in a bad wave of depression I bought my first guitar. A $270CAD Pacifica Stratocaster. I also got a stand, some picks, a strap and a small Boss Katana Mini for about $130 CAD.
This was one of the greatest purchases of my life.
Since then my guitar (which named Stevie) is my best friend and I love her. She’s here whenever I need to jam out, play some raging thrash riffs or need a quiet moment to play something softer. She’s pretty versatile and she’s helped me through some difficult battles and I’ve also gotten a much deeper appreciation and respect for music in general since buying her.
In January or February this year I bought a distortion pedal as well which I thought was an okay purchase.
Last month I decided I wanted to upgrade a few things.
Over time my playing has become more complex and more in favour of metal riffs and louder or faster jams as well as guitar solos. I felt my small amp couldn’t sustain much more power or volume and it was dying a slow death so I upgraded my amp to a 60W JyxPro which sounds amazing both clean and distorted and cost around $290 CAD.
I also decided to make a bit of an impulsive choice which had been in my mind for a while (so maybe not super impulsive). I found when playing with Stevie I wasn’t getting the quality of sound that I was looking for especially with heavier or faster songs, so I started looking for decent guitars with humbuckers that were also built for metal.
This is when I came across an Ibanez GRG131RX in matte black and red (around $400CAD) . i ordered it online through amazon immediately and it just arrived this morning. This is one hell of a beautiful instrument and it sounds much much deeper and richer. It’s lighter, looks more aesthetically appealing and has humbuckers. As excited as I was to open up the box, there is a part of my heart that is a bit sad for Stevie.
Another problem I have is they are very similar. Same shape, similar neck, both have five pickups, a ten and volume knob etc. the only different is colour, humbuckers on the Ibanez as well as an extra fret.
TL:DR: just bought a second guitar after just over a year and a half of playing and needing some questions answered or advice.
So here’s my questions:
Now that I have two guitars, what should I do with each?
Will playing my new guitar (which I’ve named Melinda) make me play Stevie less?
Did anyone else feel a bit of guilt after buying a second slightly more expensive guitar?
What are the perks of having more than one guitar even though they look kinda similar?
Did I make the right purchase?
Thank you everyone!!!

I'm only a part time pastry assistant but I worked for 2 years. It was a good and accomodating place for me since I'm autistic. So I know a bunch of in and outs for doing the work well and even learnt to do some extra tasks.
5 months ago, he had hired 2 culinary school graduates to be full timers. They started out nice but they quickly formed a clique and became the chef's favourite.
They work fast but poorly and never gets criticised for their work. I spend alot of time practicing my work at home since I am not culinary trained but I have reached a point where I have consistently produced products that he is satisfied with.
However, the new full time pastry cooks work so fast that the products are often something my chef wouldn't have accepted from me when I was starting out. But he never tells them about it.
I wouldn't be upset if they were new and genuinely learning because I was once there, except they are cocky and often gives excuses when I explain that they shouldnt process the grapefruit seeds into the bowl when they supreme the fruit.
I am left to deal with their mess of badly processed fruits and the chef says nothing about it. I really like the job but I cannot accept the poorly done products that they produce.
I know for most people, they can ignore the work or attitude. Some may even leave to find new work but as someone autistic, I need certain accomodations which are rare 😔

Hey All!
Im new to this subreddit but pretty active on other music related areas. Anyways I wanted to ask a couple of questions to some more experienced people.
So I’ve been playing guitar for almost two years (started in august? of 2022) back then I was playing on school instruments or an acoustic at home. In November 2022 in a bad wave of depression I bought my first guitar. A $270CAD Pacifica Stratocaster. I also got a stand, some picks, a strap and a small Boss Katana Mini for about $130 CAD.
This was one of the greatest purchases of my life.
Since then my guitar (which named Stevie) is my best friend and I love her. She’s here whenever I need to jam out, play some raging thrash riffs or need a quiet moment to play something softer. She’s pretty versatile and she’s helped me through some difficult battles and I’ve also gotten a much deeper appreciation and respect for music in general since buying her.
In January or February this year I bought a distortion pedal as well which I thought was an okay purchase.
Last month I decided I wanted to upgrade a few things.
Over time my playing has become more complex and more in favour of metal riffs and louder or faster jams as well as guitar solos. I felt my small amp couldn’t sustain much more power or volume and it was dying a slow death so I upgraded my amp to a 60W JyxPro which sounds amazing both clean and distorted and cost around $290 CAD.
I also decided to make a bit of an impulsive choice which had been in my mind for a while (so maybe not super impulsive). I found when playing with Stevie I wasn’t getting the quality of sound that I was looking for especially with heavier or faster songs, so I started looking for decent guitars with humbuckers that were also built for metal.
This is when I came across an Ibanez GRG131RX in matte black and red (around $400CAD) . i ordered it online through amazon immediately and it just arrived this morning. This is one hell of a beautiful instrument and it sounds much much deeper and richer. It’s lighter, looks more aesthetically appealing and has humbuckers. As excited as I was to open up the box, there is a part of my heart that is a bit sad for Stevie.
Another problem I have is they are very similar. Same shape, similar neck, both have five pickups, a ten and volume knob etc. the only different is colour, humbuckers on the Ibanez as well as an extra fret.
TL:DR: just bought a second guitar after just over a year and a half of playing and needing some questions answered or advice.
So here’s my questions:
Now that I have two guitars, what should I do with each?
Will playing my new guitar (which I’ve named Melinda) make me play Stevie less?
Did anyone else feel a bit of guilt after buying a second slightly more expensive guitar?
What are the perks of having more than one guitar even though they look kinda similar?
Did I make the right purchase?
Thank you everyone!!!

i was diagnosed 2 years ago, but i thibk i’ve had it all my life ever since i was 7 or 8. i just turned 15 years old, my birthday was just basic nothing cool. but besides the point, the last month~ i’ve had 0 motivation and excitement for anything. yesterday i was hanging out with some of my friends and i was completely drained after less than an hour. i just couldn’t be bothered to do anything, i went home shortly after and i felt empty. i couldn’t bring myself to do anything not even school today, i was so unmotivated to do anything i told my mom i was sick to get out. in school too i can’t be motivated to do anything more than the bare minimum, idk if this is because it’s almost the end of the year or something else. but my grades are still fine, with mostly low B’s. after school, i jusy get home, lay in bed, and just lie there until i have to do it again. everyday jusy a single race to the fucking weekend. also, idk if i should’ve said this earlier, but in my “friend group” i’m kinda the odd one out almost always, if a hangout isn’t at my house, i probably wasn’t invited. i don’t know why, because i’m not rude to them, or treat them differently as each other. it’s just like im never there, i often feel ignored such as during lunch i’m talking and someone just fully talks over me not caring at all and i’m jusy there sitting. i don’t have any “true loyal” friends, and sometimes it does bother me, i wish i could have some people i can call real friends that i trust. but i just don’t. my parents always are pushing me to do things that i don’t want to do at all. like going to the gym and having friends over. i don’t like having friends over at all, the only time it ever happens is when i’m sort of forced to and then i still feel like the one lefy out. besides the friend part, i’ve felt really just hollow inside of that makes sense. nothing really seems to bother me much, nor do i care enough to do somethijg about it. it’s like i’m just there, no big role or anything important but jusy there. it’s caused me to lash out sometimes, yesterday my mom was just asking me what i wanted for dinner, (i love her she’s the nicest) and i just didn’t care at all to answer and kept on my way up the stairs. i didnt realize what just happened until a few hours later. but back to my hangout with my freidns yesterday, i was fine and just chilling until around 45 mibures we were watching a baseball game and i just kept putting my head down, partially because i was tired, but i was just drained inside to do the minimum. it was like i was on a timer for socializing and the. it just ended within an instant, i’ve kinda have felt like an otwice for the last 2 years ish ever since i stopped getting invited to things, i don’t know why, in the last peobably 9 months i’ve been out to a friends house 4 times, and 3 of those times was because i lied and said i couldn’t host. when i definitely could my parents LwYs have been pushing me to have people over especially for the last 2 months ish, i’m not currently in a sport and she thinks i’m jusy rotting my life away. that’s really it. apologies for grammar and spelling errors. i just had to tell this to someone, i don’t have anyone i trust enough to admit this too.

To start off, I(29f) have been struggling financially for 2 to 3 years now. My husband was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder and was told that he can only work part-time. Currently, he is seeing a therapist until this program can help him get a job to accommodate his needs. So, it falls on me to make the big bucks in my relationship. Well, the stress of managing two jobs had deteriorated my mental health very badly. This led to me losing my affordable health insurance because I made too much money. And I got into a car accident just 4 months later which cost me my two jobs because I was a driver for both of them.
As to why I didn’t reach out for my family’s help is, because my family broke apart after my great great uncle passed away, even more so after my grandma passed away. I was blamed for my grandma’s death by my own mother because I was my grandma’s caregiver. I literally had my life on hold since I graduated from high school. I never had help caring for my dying grandma and she was too stubborn to keep with her low sodium diet which damaged her kidney severely. I asked for help but I was always ignored because I was told to be an adult and figure things out by myself. My mom’s family gave me low self esteem because in my eyes, I was a burden.
Today, my aunt came to where I live now just to lecture me about how hurt she feels when I don’t want to talk to her. I feel no love from my mom’s family and was told to be an adult. Yet I am supposed to tell everything about my life to my aunt like I’m a child who just had their first day of pre-school.

Hello, I am wondering how this sounds for my Sap appeal. I am in good standing and above a 2.0, as of right now, I am kit eligible for fafsa, which is the reason why for my appeal. I would love any and all feedback. Thank you!
I am writing to appeal against the loss of my federal financial aid eligibility due to not meeting Satisfactory Academic Progress. (SAP) requirements and ask you to please restore my eligibility to receive all forms of federal aid. I regret that I have not been able to meet the Satisfactory Academic Progress ( SAP ) requirements. Should I not receive aid, I will not be able to continue my wonderful path here at the University of Texas at San Antonio. During my time of enrollment in a university at Texas A&M Corpus Christi, I had faced numerous challenges that put a delay on my growth and hindered me from reaching my goals of being an academically successful student. After taking a year off to be more proactive about my situation I am writing this letter in hopes of appealing my aid for SAP, which was revoked due to a failure to meet the completion rate. I understand the reason for the stopping of my aid, and I take full accountabilities for all events leading up to that point. I am writing this letter to express the importance in which I hold my education, as well as to outline the steps I plan on taking to ensure that I remain on the road to academic success and completion at University of Texas at San Antonio.
I went back to school in 2017 as an independent student. I faced many obstacles, and being the only person in my family that was able to enroll in college, I was determined to make something of myself and be successful by excelling in my studies, but I came into that college experience with a blind eye and did not utilize the campus resources to be a scholar, like I should had done. During my following semester in 2019, I had recently become pregnant with my son, and that was around the time that COVID-19 had happened. During that time, I was let go from my job due to the lockdown, which left me in a finical crisis, so I was unable to pay for my semester at the time. During the fall of 2020, I had just given birth to my son, so I was finding new self, and my new lifestyle, which had me switched my major multiple times, because I did not have passion for the previous majors that I had selected, so I dropped many courses as well. During the terms for the year 2022, I was still attending the Alamo Colleges out here, but I had recently found my passion in the tech field, I started to be on top of my courses and class work and was able to successfully 2 / 3 succeed during the following years. Once I got transferred to the University of Texas at San Antonio, I knew exactly what my passion was, and I was more than excited to start my growth academically and soar. In the begging of the spring semester, I had just recently bought my first house, so I was preoccupied with packing, and the whole process of buying your first home. I was overly overwhelmed with the moving process, raising my 3-year-old son, and working full time that I lost focused on one of my courses for the term. Since not passing that class, my life has done a complete 360, I decided to take the summer off to organize my house and get everything in order. Now that I have finished moving into my new house, I can fully stay focused and determined not to lose sight of my academics. Now that I am fully moved into my house, My parents help out with my son so that I can take 3 hours every day to study each of my courses, I organized my time to make sure that I will be attending at least 2 tutoring sessions a week, as well as utilizing the university resources to help gain more of an advance on my academics and make sure to meet with my professors and advisor at least twice each semester so I can make sure that I can stay caught up on my course work, and getting more assistance if I do feel lost. If I knew then what I know now, I would have taken a break after my first failed semester, as well truly knowing where my interest lies, so that I didn’t switch my major multiple times. I did not understand the impact of changing majors, and dropping courses that would influence not only my GPA, but also my completion rate for SAP. I also realize that I should’ve taken more of advantage of the student resources provided to me, by the colleges and universities. I also take full responsibility and accountability for the consequences of my actions.
What will be different if given the chance to receive aid again is that I am in a much better place than I have been in the past 5 years, and I will continue to always improve myself and never let my studies go. I will always stay focused during each term of the school year and will never let myself get lost or behind again. I will also commit to routine/ scheduled meetings with my academic advisor as well as professors, and tutoring aids that are available to help with each course. I have a tremendous amount of support from my loved ones who want to see me succeed and be the first one in my family to graduate from college / university. I am not only determined to make something better of myself for myself, but for my son. If I am given this extra chance at this opportunity, I can show my son how successful one can be with life going on, but also that if you don’t give up on your dreams, you can do anything you set your mind to. I am very disappointed in the person who I was in the past, but I am more than happy to say that that person is not me anymore. I have grown so much, and the old me would be so shocked that I even made it this far in life. I know that in life, things are always going to come up and hit you out of nowhere, but I have now realized that no matter what life throws at you, you just got to push through it and keep going, no matter how hard it is. I understand that this chance does not come around often but if you take this amazing chance on me, not only will I succeed and go far in life, but I will provide my son with a better life than I could ever imagine. If awarded this opportunity, I will do everything It takes to become successful and remain successful throughout the remainder of my academic career the University of Texas at San Antonio.
3 / 3 I plan on taking on more tutoring sessions at least twice a week with my professors. I will also take up more of the student resources that the university has to offer, as well as scheduling more appointments with my tutor. I will never drop any of the courses that I am registered for and going to take in the future. I will also never let myself not pass any of these courses. I am going to do everything in my power to make sure that not only will I pass every course that I am taking / and or will take, but I will also make sure that I stay determined and focused and seek out any help from my scholars with my academics.

So i am a 14 yr old girl and about 7 months ago i got expelled from school for selling and doing drugs on campus. I have severe depression and anxiety as well as a severe bulimic disorder. once i had gotten kicked out my mom 48 sent me to a mental hospital for about a week. now i’m at home and i have no freedom and no control over my life. recently i have started to pierce myself with safety pins and i still smoke. she caught me giving myself piercings and tooth gems. she said that no means no. which i understand but i don’t know what else to do. because of my ed she monitors my food and when i eat. but i throw it up every time i’ve lose 60+ pounds since the start of the school year. i’m so lost and i don’t know what to do with myself. so i would give myself piercings and tattoos and tooth gems so i can feel some kind of confidence with myself. i go to therapy and am on a double dosage of zoloft. but i still feel this way. i feel isolated in my own home with my moms ex boyfriend. i am terrified of him. but we are moving out soon. my bio dad hasn’t spoken to me in months because of an argument we had in march. he lives in a different state. my mom is going to be a single mom soon we are moving out in a coupe of weeks and she is doing so much to help me and support me. she is the best thing i could’ve asked for as a mom. she makes me so happy and makes me feel like she’s the one person who cares. but i still want to feel good about myself when alone all this time. does it make me the asshole for still disobeying my mom?

I took a short solo trip this week. Rented a car on Monday morning, drove to the coast, stayed the night, and left around midday on Tuesday. Honestly? I had a great time. I was so independent and unburdened, at least while it lasted.
One unusual finding was that… I miss the suburbs? I stopped at a suburban Panera in a very nice town south of the city. It reminded me of the town my college friends live in — lots of greenery, very new, very nice, and with an overall feeling of growth and prosperity. Sitting in that Panera, listening to the local geriatric population gossip as I ate my salad, felt strangely comforting. I guess that’s how I grew up, right? In the land where shops only exist in shopping centers, and you have to drive to get anywhere, and going to Panera is an event.
It’s funny, I eat at restaurants all the time, but I very rarely get lunch with friends. I think I’m desensitized to it, so going out to eat is no longer of any importance to me. In high school, we’d go to Panera somewhat often and it was always fun. In college, I’d do the same thing with restaurants in the area. Here, I don’t.
Right, I was in Panera. The suburbs felt so comforting. I went to a really big Target. I went to a really big furniture store. I went to a really big Barnes & Noble.
There used to be a Barnes & Noble in the city. My first summer here, I was a voracious reader. I learned the city through the coffee shops and parks where I read. Going to that bookstore was always a treat, and I even became a B&N member, but then it closed. There are other bookstores, I guess, but they are too cramped. I never feel like I have permission to take up space and browse for a long time.
When I woke up this morning, I had a feeling of dread because I was going back to the city. I hadn’t been gone long enough. I wanted to keep on enjoying the small town on the coast, largely empty except for locals and a few random travelers. I wanted to keep roleplaying as a suburbanite whose can enjoy some privacy. But I had to go — the rental car was due at 4. So I left. I listened to podcasts, I considered stopping in another suburb that felt grungy and old, I had my gas filled by an attendant for some reason, and survived the highway traffic. I was back. The trip was over.
Am I a loner? The things I loved about the trip were the independence, the quiet, the space, the anonymity. I was able to do things like read a book while sitting in a gay bar, maybe because I felt so anonymous and focused on myself that I was not hindered by the opinions of others. I didn’t touch Instagram. I barely touched my phone at all besides directions and a few brief conversations.
I felt so creative, too. An empty itinerary + a good fantasy book + a dnd podcast primed me. I felt like I could write a novel. I could spin up a rich world in my mind. I revisited some old concepts I wrote down years ago, and they still hold water.
Some of that creative energy survived the drive back to the city. I made some art on my iPad. I sent it to some friends. One of the first replies was a biting, mean critique. It was meant as a joke, I imagine, but it was crushing.
I want to go back on vacation. I don’t know if I really hate my life in the city, but it was good to escape it for a little while.
So… why did I write this? I only write these when I’m feeling some type of way. Well, I got home from the local place where I made that art. And now I don’t know what to do with myself. A movie? Read? Clean? Finish my art? Sleep? Cry (if I can manage it, which is unlikely)? Go on Hinge?
I hooked up with the guy I’ve been infrequently seeing for the last two and a half years. He’s finally leaving the city. I need someone different, so that’s maybe a good thing.
I feel lonely. I feel sad. I wish I had a car so I could drive off into the night. My heart is beating heavy — not really any faster than usual, but I can feel it.
When I quit my job, I think I expected all this stress to release, like cutting through a stretched rubber band (weird metaphor, I know). But it didn’t. The truth is, I am stressed about the new job. I am stressed about seeing my family this weekend. I don’t feel like I have enough room to totally relax — like I made an optometry appointment tomorrow at 10am, so I can’t sleep in. But I don’t want to sleep yet either, so I guess I just won’t sleep enough. I need to release all this stress somehow. I guess I’ll get a lil high. Idk.
What else? I was prescribed Prozac. I quit my job, as mentioned above. That’s really it.
Well, thanks for bearing with me. This started as a vacation recap and then went off the rails. I’ll reschedule my optometry appointment and then I’ll just fuck off.

Hey guys! Just wanted to see what my chances are at programs like Rutgers, Sophie Davis, Brown PLME, etc. For context, I'm in 11th grade.
Background:

• Female south Asian
• Northeast
• Competitive public school
• GPA: 3.93 UW, 4.3 W
• SAT: 1580 (800 reading, 780 math)
• 120k+ income

Classes (just listing the important ones): Sophomore year AP Chem (4), AP World (5), AP Seminar (5), Research
Junior Year AP Bio, AP Calc BC (I hate this class so much, might get a B), AP US History, AP Music Theory, AP Lang, Research
Senior Year AP Physics I, AP Literature, AP Government, Multivariable Calculus, Research
ECs

• Research
  • Placed 3rd in my category at ISEF this year (health related research)
  • 1st in my regional fair and 2nd overall at state (got a special award from the Air Force as well
  • Assisting professor in creation of a high level college course
  • Starting clinical research internship at well renowned hospital in NYC (they usually only take med students and undergrads)
  • Will be returning to my ISEF project related research lab this summer as well (so excited!!)
  • Getting citation from my town for all this? Unusual, I know
  • Coauthored a brief case study in the JACC (Journal of the American College of Cardiology)
• Environmental Activism
  • International finalist in environment related competition
  • International finalist in another environment related competition (trying to be vague here, sorry)
  • Have done some stuff trying to improve sustainability in my school
• Music
  • I play a variety of instruments, piano being my main
  • Performances at local nursing homes and hospitals
  • Pianist job at a church, taking on other music gigs as well
  • In my school's band and jazz band program! I play 3 instruments there
  • I do have state certifications/top marks in some of these instruments
• Community/Volunteering
  • Nursing home stuff mentioned beforehand
  • Volunteering at my local hospital (will have 100+ hours by the time I apply)
  • Will start volunteering at my local rotary club and get some leadership there somehow
  • Active in my cultural community through the arts (leading choirs, dancing, singing)
• Shadowing
  • It's very hard to do this with hospitals in my area
  • I shadowed a transplant surgeon for like 5 hrs total so far? I'm planning to shadow more this summer
• Leadership/clubs
  • Treasurer of an honor society at my school for two years
  • Theater for 3 years (was the pianist for one of their shows as well)
  • Audiovisual club
• Awards
  • The ISEF and other science fair stuff
  • Air Force certificate
  • Bunch of district wide awards for accomplishments but I don't think I'll be including those in my application
  • Yeah I think that's about it

I'm a little bit delusional and am leaning towards EDing to Columbia, but I'll probably have an easier time in a BS/MD program. Any and all advice is greatly appreciated!

For privacy reasons the girl will be called Emily (19F) and my ex-boyfriend will be Sam (20M). Last year I (18F) was asked to smoke after work with my at the time coworker, Emily, I said yes because it had been a while since I smoked and thought I could use it as a relief since I was stressed out. While we were smoking I felt really weird and noticed she was pressuring me to take more hits since, for context i'm a lightweight 2-3 hits and i'm good, but she had pressured me to take 8-9. I felt really weird about 10 minutes in and originally thought I was greening out, I was sweating like crazy, shaking, hallucinating, and completely dissociated and out of it. I asked if she could take me home and she obliged but first went to get gas (I lived abt 5 minutes away from where we were smoking), when we got there I started throwing up and shaking even more, the hallucinations were getting worse the more time passed. When I got home I checked my heart rate and it was around 185, I genuinely thought I was going to die I was completely dissociated and out of it. After this I developed a heart condition, now I frequently struggle with fainting spells and high heart rate along with other symptoms. Fast forward to the end of november, I met Sam. We started talking and met up for the first time in the beginning of January. Everything was good, he met my parents, we went on dates often, and while we were drunk one day he asked me to be his girlfriend to which I obviously said yes! I was so happy with him, he was my first boyfriend and I was falling in love with everything about him. I tell him about what happened with Emily, as I was often going to doctors trying to get a diagnosis for what was happening with me. I missed a lot of school and was struggling with extreme anxiety at this time. Around the middle of march I noticed he started following Emily, not only her main account but her spam as well... so of course I follow it lol. I notice she's posting kinda flirty stuff and thirst traps which makes him following her even worse 😭. I'm a very non-confrontational person so I wait until the end of march to bring it up which is where he says he was hanging out with friends and "she was just there".. Red flag. First of all he should have told me, and if she was just there why would he follow both her accounts? I didn't ask more I just was very hurt and confused. Things go on as normal and we don't see eachother for two weeks, still texting constantly. We finally get to see eachother and I come home and get a text from Emily, asking "DO YOU KNOW SAM" "DONT SAY ANYTHING!!" so I respond saying he is my boyfriend, the situation was weird and I wonder if I had only said yes if I would've found out more information sooner.. 🥲. But time goes on, I notice she's posting with hickies and memes like "i dont know if you got a gf you're my man" which makes me sus, and my gut is telling me somethings up. My boyfriend never gave me his location and hid that stuff from me, but wanted me to share mine. He would get dry when I was out with friends, (I only hung out with friends 2 times during our relationship.) We go on a date in the beginning of april and drink, while we were drunk I ask him about Emily and he completely ignores it :/ so i let it go. As the next two weeks go on he gets dryer and dryer and only texts me when he's horny , so I make the decision to end things- asking if we could take a break or just break it off completely, also bringing up Emily and how it made me uncomfortable he was associated with her, He agrees, calls me crazy about insinuating he got with Emily, and we text as friends for the next two weeks. That saturday i'm at prom, and my friend comes up to me telling me that my old coworker, let's call her Sarah, told my friend that "Emily is talking to (My) Boyfriend" my heart drops completely, I instantly ask if she's sure and she feels bad but says it's true. I freak out and go home and think about what i'm going to say to Sam. I text him angrily asking what is going on, he responds basically saying Me and you didn't have a label. Are you fucking kidding me. I went off on him and he avoided everything I said, but confirmed he was talking to Emily. I text my old coworkers and they all reiterate that Emily did tell them she was talking to my boyfriend and often came in with "Hella hickies". I removed him off of everything after that and it's been 2 weeks since then , i dont know what to do I feel hopeless and like I'll never get over this. Am I overreacting?

I don’t know how to use Reddit so any response given anywhere is deeply appreciated
So me and my bf (let’s call him Dave even though it’s not his real name) have been dating for over a year now, and while our relationship is mostly positive, the only downing factor is my parents and the mental impact they have had on me. While my mom has went above and beyond raising me and my autistic brother, she made the mistake of marrying my stepdad when I was five (my father was an alcoholic and died a few years after my stepdad came in the picture). He is a very angry person, and whenever something doesn’t go his way he takes it out on everyone around him, causing fights almost everyday. My childhood was pretty sheltered and closed in, which affected my social skills and self confidence. As traditional leaning parents, they believe that I am still a child and should utmostly respect them even if they disrespect me, even though I own my own credit card, have a car (which I will admit they helped me pay for initially) and pay monthly insurance for it, and juggle work and school.
Within meeting my boyfriend over a year ago, home life became pretty rocky between me and my stepdad, where things he said to me in the past finally boiled over a tipping point (For example, I got diagnosed with anxiety and his only reaction was to offer to take me to a hospital and that “doctors diagnose you with everything”). My tipping point was when I confided in my mom I applied for a second job at Expressions (a sex shop- it wasn’t my ideal job since I wouldn’t gain any knowledge from there but for an extra 1.50 an hour would make paying bills easier), and she flipped (as I understand she would, as a mother should) and called my stepdad and verbally beat down my boyfriend for “allowing me to ruin my dignity” (never mind he didn’t know I applied until after I did it). She claimed that we were children who know nothing about life and Dave is a terrible person who needs to start acting like an adult. They then went ahead and threatened to tell my Conservative grandfather, who would subsequently take me out of his will.
During one of our arguments they asked me if Chris was ever there when I needed him, which I replied that he offered multiple times to help me pay for my car when it broke down, gave me his shoulder to cry on and a safe place to vent and solve my issues without being distracted by everything around me. They got even more angry and mentioned I should live with him and they weren’t going to respect him until he “takes care of me.” Despite this statement not being the first time said, they took it back, only to say it again five minutes later. I vented to Dave about the situation, where he got fed up with how my parents talked down to me and belittled me. He talked to his father and mother, and they wish to take me in under a contract where an agreement on rent and due date is created. I’m seriously looking into it since I received a request to work as a receptionist and things seem bright with this opportunity.
While I wish to get out and escape the metaphorical cage I live in, I’m nervous about the situation since I never acted out against my parents to this degree and I’m a generally timid person. I’m nervous about our relationship not working out and me becoming homeless, since I already know my parents wouldn’t want me back once I leave. I’m lost about what I should do with school, while I’m aware I would need to take a semester off and is fully committed to only taking one or two semesters off, Dave wants to keep me in school. While he makes significantly more money than I ever would, I don’t want him to kill himself. While I don’t care for my grandfathers will, he’s 93 and I don’t want him to die from a heart attack. I still have to speak to Dave’s parents on this matter, but as someone whose parents don’t have their child’s mental needs as priority what do I do?
(Therapy won’t work since my stepdad doesn’t want to go, and I tried sitting them down and speaking to them about how they make me feel and it leads into arguments)

For context, kid is 14. He has some mental health issues (namely anxiety) and has had some attention seeking behaviors. Eight days ago he fell on his arm at school. The fall was in the grass, he had no signs of serious injury (no bruising, no scrapes, no swelling, etc.), and he didn't even mention it to me - he only told my husband. But he complained that it hurt the next day and said he "thinks it's broken" (he was using it normally) so we took him in just in case.
The place we went had sent home their X-ray tech for the day so they gave him a brace "just in case" and had us come back the next day. The next morning, they did multiple X-rays and confirmed that his arm is fine - no fracture, no reason to believe it's seriously injured, etc.
Since then, he has continued to wear the brace to school, but not much at home. He went all weekend without saying a word about it - didn't ask for medication, didn't ice it, etc., but then he came out of his room wearing the brace Monday morning. I'm fairly certain it's an attention thing, but I can't feel how he feels so who knows. He's claiming it still hurts.
So what would you do? Take the next step and take him to an orthopedic doctor? The regular doctor already said he's fine but he's convinced that they did the X-ray wrong and missed a break somewhere. I'll also add that he has an extremely low pain tolerance (like still at 14 screams and cries when he gets a shot) so for him to not even be asking for ibuprofen or ice makes me very suspicious.

i just turned 15 years old, my birthday was just basic nothing cool. but besides the point, the last month~ i’ve had 0 motivation and excitement for anything. yesterday i was hanging out with some of my friends and i was completely drained after less than an hour. i just couldn’t be bothered to do anything, i went home shortly after and i felt empty. i couldn’t bring myself to do anything not even school today, i was so unmotivated to do anything i told my mom i was sick to get out. in school too i can’t be motivated to do anything more than the bare minimum, idk if this is because it’s almost the end of the year or something else. but my grades are still fine, with mostly low B’s. after school, i jusy get home, lay in bed, and just lie there until i have to do it again. everyday jusy a single race to the fucking weekend. also, idk if i should’ve said this earlier, but in my “friend group” i’m kinda the odd one out almost always, if a hangout isn’t at my house, i probably wasn’t invited. i don’t know why, because i’m not rude to them, or treat them differently as each other. it’s just like im never there, i often feel ignored such as during lunch i’m talking and someone just fully talks over me not caring at all and i’m jusy there sitting. i don’t have any “true loyal” friends, and sometimes it does bother me, i wish i could have some people i can call real friends that i trust. but i just don’t. my parents always are pushing me to do things that i don’t want to do at all. like going to the gym and having friends over. i don’t like having friends over at all, the only time it ever happens is when i’m sort of forced to and then i still feel like the one lefy out. besides the friend part, i’ve felt really just hollow inside of that makes sense. nothing really seems to bother me much, nor do i care enough to do somethijg about it. it’s like i’m just there, no big role or anything important but jusy there. it’s caused me to lash out sometimes, yesterday my mom was just asking me what i wanted for dinner, (i love her she’s the nicest) and i just didn’t care at all to answer and kept on my way up the stairs. i didnt realize what just happened until a few hours later. but back to my hangout with my freidns yesterday, i was fine and just chilling until around 45 mibures we were watching a baseball game and i just kept putting my head down, partially because i was tired, but i was just drained inside to do the minimum. it was like i was on a timer for socializing and the. it just ended within an instant, i’ve kinda have felt like an otwice for the last 2 years ish ever since i stopped getting invited to things, i don’t know why, in the last peobably 9 months i’ve been out to a friends house 4 times, and 3 of those times was because i lied and said i couldn’t host. when i definitely could my parents LwYs have been pushing me to have people over especially for the last 2 months ish, i’m not currently in a sport and she thinks i’m jusy rotting my life away. that’s really it. apologies for grammar and spelling errors. i just had to tell this to someone, i don’t have anyone i trust enough to admit this too. any reply is appreciated.

Hi! This is going to be a long one/rant and story because I really don’t know who to talk to about this in real life because I’m not in therapy and I’m so embarrassed to be feeling this way knowing I made all the choices to be here and people are already flying in from out of state to come to our wedding. Also I’m diagnosed adhd incase any of yall are wondering what’s wrong with me once I tell you all the decisions I made to get here. I am getting married in three months and have a son who is 15 months old. My now fiance 28m and I 27f met whenever we were thirteen years old in middle school and started a tumultuous up and down / on and off again relationship. We were together all the way up until junior year in high school and we broke up. I come from a broken home and he does not. Looking back I realize how much of me staying with him and trying to keep his attention stemmed from my abandonment issues that I must have had from my own parents. After we broke up he joined a gang in my local hometown and I was still in love with him so I decided to still be involved with him even though I was not in a relationship with him. I ended up losing my virginity to him while we were not together just because I wanted to be with him and we said we were friends with benefits but really I was just in love with him and thought by doing that maybe he would want to be with me again but he didn’t and continued to sleep with other girls and do drugs. I also started doing drugs like Xanax and smoking to fit in with him and be cool. I ended up getting a horrible tattoo because one of the other girls he was also seeing had a bunch of tattoos. I dropped out of my high school college courses and ended up going to jail for marijuana in high school and got kicked out of cheer and softball. I ended up on probation and having to be drug tested for a year. Within that year after being heart broken and realizing nothing I did would make him change into who he was before he got involved in our local gang or make him want to be with me… I ended up enrolling in college and getting accepted to a university where I would move about two hours away from our home town to live on campus and study to be a nurse. While on probation, so I couldn’t really party or anything in college which was good (even though I was never really addicted to anything and it wouldn’t be that hard for me) I wanted to save money for a car so I ended up getting a job at the hooters next to my college and was in college full time and working at hooters. My sister happened to go to that same college before I did and live in that town with her ex bf and they would give me rides to and from work back to campus. Low and behold after about two semesters of me being in college and finally feeling like I was moving on from him, he came back messaging me and telling me he missed me and wanted to be with me again. I was stupid and so excited that I agreed and asked him to come see me at college where he would stay for the weekend and we would have an amazing time. I felt so good about myself doing what I was doing and being able to show my growth. Despite all that he was still able to convince me to leave school and come back to be with him and live with him and go to the college near our hometown and work at the hooters near our hometown. I had already felt like I didn’t want to be a nurse at the time because my sister who was a nurse told me you could never leave the state as a nurse if you get your license there (which she didn’t know at the time that you could) and I knew I didn’t want to stay where I was from and wanted to eventually travel. So I decided to leave and move back with him in his bedroom at his parents house where I would work at the hooters close to our home town and never enroll in the college. He would eventually break up with me while I was at work one day even though I was living with him and since I didn’t have a car he continued to take me back in forth from work and I continued to live with him and continued to be in love with him while he committed to the fact that he didn’t want to be in a relationship but wanted to marry me one day and just wasn’t ready for anything right now and still wanted to have sex with me which I did. From working at hooters I had auditioned for the calendar and ended up being really liked by the photographer and started doing some modeling from that which was super exciting for me because I always was interested in that and the pictures we took would blow up and I started getting well known in my area for modeling even though they were just pictures and I wasn’t making any money off of it. Eventually a guy came into hooters telling me about working as an exotic dancer and how much they could make and I still needed a car really badly and was desperate to get out of my ex’s (now fiance) house. So I told him I would be waitressing and that I heard the waitresses make good money there and asked him to give me a ride there one day and so he started giving me a ride everyday. The money was so good to me and the most money I had ever seen. I ended up staying in a hotel closer to the club I worked at and sometimes he would come stay with me and I would just uber to work. Eventually I had gotten a car which I was so happy about. A couple of weeks after I got a car I ended up getting sucked into human trafficking with a friend where I would live in a house with multiple girls for 6 months and go to work at the club every day of the week except Saturday and Sundays. I wasn’t doing anything extra just dancing but the money was going to some random guy. It’s crazy I know. I was stupid and young and my family were not concerned for me at all or involved in my life. unfortunately my friend is just now leaving that situation. I got out without anything no car or nothing and had nowhere to go so back to my exes I went where I decided I was going to buy a cash car again and I worked everyday like I was used to saved money and got a car. Moved to my sisters and stayed with her for a little where i decided I didn’t want to dance anymore and I got a job as a bottle service girl and then waitressing at another waitress. I continued modeling because it made me happy and I never told anyone the truth about the deep things that were happening in my life except for my now fiance. So nobody had no idea about me dancing or the human trafficking or anything. Everyone just knew I modeled. I ended up getting an apartment with some friends and One day I got the urge to go to California randomly and at my waitressing job I was handed $800 and I took it as a sign and booked a flight the next day. Where I went by myself my first time ever on a flight with no plans at all. The day I got there I got asked to be in a commercial two days later. My roommate and her friends flew out there to get me and she ended up being able to be in the commercial with me which ended up on tbs but I had to go back home to my apartment and responsibilities and couldn’t leave my roommate stranded. Even though months later we would end up getting in an argument and I’d move out and move back with my ex (now fiance) where I would continue to work and model (for free) and went back to the club to dance and then my sister ended up going to California for a travel nursing assignment and her and her bf broke up and she asked me to move with her. I had nothing else here, my ex was still saying he didn’t want to be in a relationship, he was consistently sleeping with other girls while we lived together and expected relationship things from me. I was paying for everything for him. I paid for him while he was in school for audio engineer, his gas, lunch, school clothes, shopping, I helped him open his own studio and bought his equipment and Mac for it, even though his parents were very involved in his life. I got all his family bday gifts and Christmas gifts every year. He was honestly just using me but I was so in love and blind. He encouraged me to go to California too so I had nothing else there for me, if he had told me to stay and he wanted to be with me I would’ve. I flew out on my 21st birthday and met my sister and Vegas where we would have such a great time and my ex spent that day hanging out with a girl that tried to fight me and didn’t even tell me happy birthday, I was crying in the bathroom in Vegas until my sister shook me and told me to get it together we’re in Vegas. I was so heart broken to be leaving him but he didn’t care. I got to LA and I instantly started modeling on day one I booked a photo shoot where I met a guy that reminded me of my ex (I know) but we instantly clicked and he was 7 years older than me. We ended up talking for a little bit and pursuing something even though I wasn’t ready emotionally but he didn’t really care and I was kind of star struck a little because he was a music producer for a very famous musician and he was very persistent but that’s another story. I ended up booking a music video as a main girl for my ex’s (now fiance) favorite artist. When it came out it was crazy because I felt like the universe and God was just blessing me for leaving that situation and I knew he would see it because he was so obsessed with that artist and it shook up the whole small town I was from. After that I booked a lot of cool jobs like Sephora and worked with a lot of companies, and did some music videos for other super famous artists, and walked in fashion shows and modeled for clothing brands etc. I was working all the time as an extra to pay my bills and I was meeting cool people. I was always getting invited to celebrities parties and just having such a fun time. I decided to start getting into acting instead and started going to acting school where a lot of well known celebrities also went to and I started having meetings with very popular directors and I was being mentored by famous directors and another person that created an tv entertainment channel that I won’t say here also mentored me a lot and got me a lot of meetings with these people and would go to dinners and stuff etc with a list celebrities. I truly was living the life. And coming from where I can it was almost a dream. I had gotten in a relationship my first year there with that other guy I mentioned who ended up being super possessive of me but he treated me like a queen in the sense of paying for everything, giving me a safe space to tell my feelings, open up, the sex was amazing, he would take me on trips, took me out of the country for the first time. We ended up not working out due to lifestyle differences and just being at two different places and wanting different things. He wanted to move out of the country and have a farm and I wasn’t ready to do that as I wanted to focus on my career. (But I would die to move out of the country on a farm now ironically and he is doing just that now like he said he would haha) anyway, I ended up having my own studio apartment by myself that I loved so much and was so proud of. My sister had moved to Montana and it took a lot for me to get my apartment like staying in a house with other girls for a little to sleeping in my car and at a spa for a couple days. When I would fly home or drive home to see my family I would always see my ex, everytime. We kept a friendship and sometimes I would still help him out if needed, he was interning at a church through his school for audio engineering and recording people at his studio in our hometown. By this time I was going to New York and Miami also sometimes and doing work there. I wasn’t as stressed about bills anymore. I was seeing guys every now and then but not at all interested in a relationship, my heart was still healing from the past and both my exes but mainly my first (now fiance). I was super focused on my career and optimistic, I was used to the grind and in no way ever thinking of quitting. It just wasn’t an option because I knew I would make it wherever that would be because to me that is all I had for me and all I ever knew I wanted and the only thing that saved me. Skip to around October 2019 I had found out about a girl my ex was seeing and it crushed me. He was doing with her just like he was with me though. Just “friends with benefits” I was living in my apartment in LA still and my uncle that helped raise me was getting really sick back home and put on hospice so I decided to take a trip back to see him. I would go to restaurants in my state and near my home town and people would ask to take pictures with me, and at the little ceasars drive through someone asked if I was me and stuff it was crazy because I hadn’t been home in awhile and I felt like what I was doing was finally paying off and people were recognizing me. It was surreal. I ended up going to see my ex. I had such a fear of losing him to this other girl for some reason. I was so scared he would get her pregnant or get in a serious relationship since I was gone so far away and I would never be with him, I would end up sleeping with him again and the girl found out and drove by his house mad and cussing me out and throwing stuff at me. We ended up getting in a fight which is so embarrassing and beneath me. I ended up crying to him that I wanted to be with him and don’t know why he never wanted to be with me which at this time he honestly was not even in my playing field anymore. He told me if I wanted to be with him I had to move back to my hometown.. my heart dropped to my stomach and I knew it wasn’t what I was supposed to do but I said okay… all because this is what I had wanted all those years. I decided to stay where the next two years all I would think about everyday was I was making the wrong decision and needed to go back to my life. My hometown had nothing for me.. COVID hit a couple months after me being there and we were terrified. We ended up getting everything out of my apartment and moving into a house around the corner from his parents. I had to tell him how I liked to communicate now without yelling and stuff which I learned from the boyfriend I had in LA and that I wasn’t going to put up with that disrespect but he never listened. Eventually everything went back to normal. I ended up going back to the club again dancing because I didn’t want to go backward and model here. He never wanted me to go back to LA even for a little bit even though that’s where my career and heart was so I had no idea what to do with my life. I started waitressing as well and getting back on my adhd meds. People started pressuring us to get pregnant and we tried for a year and 6 months. The month I found out I was pregnant before I knew, I quit my job and decided I was going to move back and get my life back. Two days later I found out I was pregnant…. Finally after trying for over a year. Our relationship was toxic just like the past he always yelled, I could never talk to him about my feelings without him saying I was trying to fight, he spit in my face once, threatened me, put his hands on me, he would tell me he was going to take my baby away from me as soon as I had it. I started asking him about getting married while I was pregnant and the proposal wasn’t even that. He got mad at me for asking one day and walked in the room and handed me the ring. It didn’t fit because I was pregnant & it was $27 (not that that matters but the proposal sucked).. he drained both my bank accounts and they closed it, charged my credit card up and put me in debt, he has not let me do anything I want to do like school or anything. He is so bad with money. He has an action figure addiction and at one point was spending 3k on action figures every month and turned one of the rooms in our house into a collection room so I had to take everything out of my closet and put my sons crib in there for the first year of his life. we have good times and I feel comfortable with him. He knows everything about me but he doesn’t respect me and sometimes I feel like he is intimidated by me. The sex isn’t good at all we always just ask “do you want to have sex” he never gives oral or foreplay, I never get pleasure. He’s an amazing dad though and loves his son. We have the most sweet and beautiful little boy now who I love so much and he loves him also. He’s very attentive to his son. But I still feel unheard. I can’t talk about my feelings. If I do it doesn’t matter, it doesn’t change anything. He is so defensive and we never communicate for a solution it’s always just pointing fingers. I have started yelling again because I’m so used to it now and I hate it because I grew up like that and I finally grew out of it until I got back with him and recently started again and now he throws it in my face and knows I begged him not to do it forever but he never stopped and now I am too. I’ve asked him to take me to the movies and he hasn’t still. I just ask for more romance and stuff but it just feels like I have a roommate. I have nothing now. I had my car and we traded it in for a new car that he wanted. I always dreamed of the next car I’d get once I paid it off but he got it & it’s in his name now so I paid it off for nothing. I’m driving around his dream car. I’ve been planning our wedding since I birthed our son and everything is going good. Money is tight. He works at the church now full time and makes about 45k a year or so, my son has been waiting to start daycare for awhile so I have been home with him. I’ve tried starting jobs multiple times but he is against it unless it’s super fast money like going to the club which I am so repulsed by and absolutely hate it now. I tried going back to college but my old college won’t release my transcripts for fasfa because I owe them money. I started cosmetology school a few months ago which he was all for but two months in freaked out and him and his mom guilt tripped me that we can’t handle this right now and he was having a hard time doing the night time routine for the baby while I was at school so I had to leave and now owe that’s school for my kit unless I enroll again in 128 days. I also miss modeling so much and sometimes think I can start again but it’s been five years. My body is so different too after a baby. Everything I want is a no go. Especially moving out of our hometown. He says he wants to but I don’t think he does. We are constantly at his moms and dads and they tell us all the time we aren’t moving anywhere which is really hard for me as this place is super toxic for my soul. Anytime I get money he spends it. Anytime I save money he spends it. Even if it does go towards our bills. His action figure habit is almost nonexistent now and he has grown a lot in the past few months from that since I demanded my son have his own bedroom after his first bday and all his figures are in boxes now and told him he could turn the shed into his man cave. He says we can’t save because we have nothing to save after bills but I believe in saving anything even $5 a paycheck. It’s doable. I grew up poor so this is nothing to me but after living the lifestyle I lived in LA and going out with guys that respected me and cherished me it’s hard. I know nobody is perfect but we are about to get married and I’m scared… I have nothing though anymore. I’ve threatened to leave a couple times and he says he will take me to court and take my baby. I’m scared he might. I don’t want my son to be angry like him or not respect women how he does. In public he’s a saint. He also has a very supportive family that it’s almost toxic. They all blame me for his anger issues and say I make him that way. But he’s been punching walls since I met him in 8th grade. I know it’s not because of me. But I have nobody else and nowhere else to go. No money. No car. I’m at the bottom again where I was before. Only difference is now I have a son. And we are getting married in three months and I can’t call it off. I am older now and looking back on my life I realize he maybe truly never loved me and I was just so desperate for love. I got myself here nobody else. I accepted everything, even when my gut told me not to. ( he is not just horrible, he’s a great person just with some bad qualities like everyone but I’m tired of feeling stuck with someone that never truly wanted me and doesn’t care to grow in some ways or show me )
Please help.. what do I do?

Hi everyone! I'm looking for a simple gaming laptop that's capable of just the Sims 4 and Minecraft. With the Sims 4 it would need to be able to handle A LOT of custom content and mods. I'm not an avid gamer and would probably only play for a couple hours two or three times a week so it doesn't need to be fully maxed out.
LAPTOP QUESTIONNAIRE

• Total budget (in local currency) and country of purchase. Please do not use USD unless purchasing in the US: $300-$350
• Are you open to refurbs/used? Yes, names of credible sources would be helpful.
• How would you prioritize form factor (ultrabook, 2-in-1, etc.), build quality, performance, and battery life? Decent sized capacity for mods, doesn't overheat quickly, would prefer good graphics, and has a battery that can last for at least 5 hours.
• How important is weight and thinness to you? Not too important as I would only play at home since I have a regular school laptop.
• Do you have a preferred screen size? If indifferent, put N/A. At least 13 inches preferably.
• Are you doing any CAD/video editing/photo editing/gaming? List which programs/games you desire to run. No editing of any kind at all. Strictly gaming.
• If you're gaming, do you have certain games you want to play? At what settings and FPS do you want? Sims 4 and Minecraft. Would mainly be building in the Sims 4 so as little lag as possible.
• Any specific requirements such as good keyboard, reliable build quality, touch-screen, finger-print reader, optical drive or good input devices (keyboard/touchpad)? Comfortable keyboard as I have other hobbies that can also put a strain on my wrist.
• Leave any finishing thoughts here that you may feel are necessary and beneficial to the discussion. I know absolutely nothing about laptops and computers so I'm not even sure if what I want is possible lol but any suggestions or advice would be much appreciated.