Italy and greece are what type of land form
Europe
2008.01.25 08:07 Europe
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2010.11.29 14:36 Mr45 All things NFA
A community of hobbyists interested in NFA items, history, and news. We seek to expand general understanding of the laws collectively referred to as the National Firearms Act and their implications for gun owners and citizens of today. Silencer, SBR, SBS, DD, AOW, and MG posts are all welcome here. Content suggesting non-compliance or discouraging NFA ownership will not be tolerated.
2014.07.02 07:05 news and updates for tax professionals
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2024.05.21 18:39 mukeshkblog What is SAP MM
SAP MM In SAP MM (Materials Management), master data is the foundational information that forms the basis of various business processes related to material management. It's like the backbone of the system, providing essential details needed for smooth operations. Here's a breakdown of the main types of master data in SAP MM
Material Master: This is the core of master data in SAP MM. It contains comprehensive information about all the materials a company deals with, including descriptions, types (like finished goods or raw materials), dimensions, weights, pricing, and units of measure.
Vendor Master: Vendor master data holds details about the suppliers or vendors from whom the company procures materials or services. It includes vendor names, addresses, contact information, payment terms, and terms of delivery.
Purchasing Info Records: These records store specific conditions negotiated with vendors for particular materials. This includes pricing, lead times, minimum order quantities, and other purchasing terms agreed upon with vendors.
Source List: The source list is a list of approved vendors for specific materials. It specifies which vendors are permitted to supply which materials, providing clarity and control over procurement processes.
Quota Arrangement: Quota arrangement helps in procurement planning by determining the percentage of materials to be procured from different sources. It ensures fair distribution among approved vendors and helps in managing supply chain risks.
Also Read: Automatic account determination in SAP MM
Accurate and up-to-date master data is crucial for efficient procurement, inventory management, and other related processes within SAP MM. It serves as a reference point for various transactions and ensures consistency and accuracy in business operations. Maintaining master data integrity is essential for optimizing supply chain processes and enhancing overall business performance.
submitted by mukeshkblog to u/mukeshkblog [link] [comments]
Material Master: This is the core of master data in SAP MM. It contains comprehensive information about all the materials a company deals with, including descriptions, types (like finished goods or raw materials), dimensions, weights, pricing, and units of measure.
Vendor Master: Vendor master data holds details about the suppliers or vendors from whom the company procures materials or services. It includes vendor names, addresses, contact information, payment terms, and terms of delivery.
Purchasing Info Records: These records store specific conditions negotiated with vendors for particular materials. This includes pricing, lead times, minimum order quantities, and other purchasing terms agreed upon with vendors.
Source List: The source list is a list of approved vendors for specific materials. It specifies which vendors are permitted to supply which materials, providing clarity and control over procurement processes.
Quota Arrangement: Quota arrangement helps in procurement planning by determining the percentage of materials to be procured from different sources. It ensures fair distribution among approved vendors and helps in managing supply chain risks.
Also Read: Automatic account determination in SAP MM
Accurate and up-to-date master data is crucial for efficient procurement, inventory management, and other related processes within SAP MM. It serves as a reference point for various transactions and ensures consistency and accuracy in business operations. Maintaining master data integrity is essential for optimizing supply chain processes and enhancing overall business performance.
2024.05.21 18:39 Wandering_Scarabs The End of Allotted Time
Hello everyone! For several years I have rather (in)famously considered myself a lectopriest of my patron, Setesh. This is a role I carried with great honor, but perhaps also to great detriment. You see, one piece of ancient wisdom I chose to ignore was that priesthood was not a 24/7, lifelong role played by individuals. Indeed back then one would only be a priest for a few weeks or months before the off season. With so few people willing to take such roles in modern society, staying in it for several years makes some semblance of sense, but I think to continue would benefit neither others nor, more importantly, myself.
You see, I have noticed, and have had pointed out by people I truly respect and trust, several problems in myself that were either created or (more often) worsened by priesthood, without my own realization until now. For instance one thing which was called out is the responsibility I feel to “correct” others when their views/understanding/etc do not match my own, like pushing the differentiations between historical Egyptian religion as opposed to new ageism (I originally wrote “new age nonsense” which proves my point that this role has led me against pluralism). Or feeling the need to write and read constantly about topics beyond the point of exhaustion when, at best, maybe 5 people even care for that level of information and effort. Or simply an overinflated sense of worth for my own path and knowledge, which directly opposes my more recent attempts at pluralism, such as portraying Kemeticism as good and new ageism as bad, when I know deep down and full well that this is an ignorant and arrogant misunderstanding of the situation, and one is simply good/bad for myself, not for all.
When I reached out to Kemetic last year to clear my name after being mistaken for a Satanist/ToS member, my main argument was that I feel compelled and driven to share knowledge of Setesh and Kemeticism, to correct what I see as ignorance and take at least partial responsibility for the spiritual development of others. That… doesn't fit with my philosophy or metaphysics at all though. I was reminded as recently as yesterday that this is literally not my responsibility, that I’ve basically taken my social work background and applied it to Kemeticism or even the LHP. I hated social work and left for all these same reasons: systems in place limit how much you can help, people don’t even actually want help, and why am I responsible for the lives of others? Perhaps most importantly, is my way even actually better or just working for me and I am causing more harm than good pushing it on others? I cannot help but feel it is almost part of a subconscious masochism those who also have mental illness are likely familiar with, an unconscious drive to put yourself in situations that will only frustrate you and make you sad. And I have to say, I HATE the subconscious for reasons just like this.
Hell, my original goal was to synthesize our knowledge of Setesh into one place in a digestible form, and that project has been completed a few times over, most completely an entire year ago now, my goal is completed and my job is done. I could have spent all this time focusing on the dozens of problems I still have to take care of in my own life and practices, like priesthood was almost a type of deflection and procrastination. I am glad I held the role and helped those who have reached out to let me know, but when we bring it back to my own authentic metaphysical perspective, these are the tiniest drops in a vast, endless ocean. I am glad for and proud of these one-offs, but to chase such one-offs has taken me in the completely wrong direction than intended. And worse it’s had me reading books about priesthood and the like, seeking out dogma of how I “should” or am “suppose to” act as a priest, what duties are required, etc., when this is the type of acceptance of and reliance upon external dogma I abhor and caution against.
My gut reaction was what I used to always do, just leave with my tail between my legs. But upon further reflection I realized I needed to internalize and look inwards in these situations for once, and to practice proper action rather than simply ponder it. To not act like some priest who is initiated into higher mysteries or something, but as just another random person trying to do my best and what I think is right in communities I value. Honestly this is who I would rather be. I will always be Kemetic AND Left Hand Path, always be a child of Setesh, and therefore always be an outsider. Playing the role of a priest (which I will not regret for it led to some of my most useful work and best connections imo) outright contradicts this in so many ways I am honestly a bit embarrassed.
I have quit a lot of things: addictions, websites that were bad for my mental health, negatively reinforcing practices and thoughts, and my new focus is quitting both the social work drive to “fix” things (that often are not even truly “broken”), as well as the arrogance that always crops back up in me to believe that since my way is right for me and has brought me meaning and success, it is not necessarily right for all, maybe even a detriment to them as their path may be to me. My test, as I see it, is not to run away in either anger nor embarrassment, but to face my flaws and actively seek to correct them, such as continuing to engage in forums such as kemetic but as just a guy doing his thing, not the voice of a god, or Kemeticism, or academia, or any such thing.
And to those who helped bring this to my attention again, I thank you. I’ve been told both in friendly and not so friendly ways when dealing with these problems in the past, this most recent being generally friendly. In the past I have been much better about owning my nature as a child of Setesh, and priesthood as I have understood and practiced it is a direct contradiction of that nature. I don’t want to feel this drive to make people think or practice the way I do, nor do I want this drive to act or portray myself a certain way on behalf of others, even my own patron. I mean, one of my greatest magical recommendations is apathy, and I've practiced anything but that.
So today it is in optimism, humility, and hope, not anger, defeat, and arrogance that I step away from the Lector role I've taken, and once again seek to be priest of nothing more than myself and my own way.
submitted by Wandering_Scarabs to Setianism [link] [comments]
You see, I have noticed, and have had pointed out by people I truly respect and trust, several problems in myself that were either created or (more often) worsened by priesthood, without my own realization until now. For instance one thing which was called out is the responsibility I feel to “correct” others when their views/understanding/etc do not match my own, like pushing the differentiations between historical Egyptian religion as opposed to new ageism (I originally wrote “new age nonsense” which proves my point that this role has led me against pluralism). Or feeling the need to write and read constantly about topics beyond the point of exhaustion when, at best, maybe 5 people even care for that level of information and effort. Or simply an overinflated sense of worth for my own path and knowledge, which directly opposes my more recent attempts at pluralism, such as portraying Kemeticism as good and new ageism as bad, when I know deep down and full well that this is an ignorant and arrogant misunderstanding of the situation, and one is simply good/bad for myself, not for all.
When I reached out to Kemetic last year to clear my name after being mistaken for a Satanist/ToS member, my main argument was that I feel compelled and driven to share knowledge of Setesh and Kemeticism, to correct what I see as ignorance and take at least partial responsibility for the spiritual development of others. That… doesn't fit with my philosophy or metaphysics at all though. I was reminded as recently as yesterday that this is literally not my responsibility, that I’ve basically taken my social work background and applied it to Kemeticism or even the LHP. I hated social work and left for all these same reasons: systems in place limit how much you can help, people don’t even actually want help, and why am I responsible for the lives of others? Perhaps most importantly, is my way even actually better or just working for me and I am causing more harm than good pushing it on others? I cannot help but feel it is almost part of a subconscious masochism those who also have mental illness are likely familiar with, an unconscious drive to put yourself in situations that will only frustrate you and make you sad. And I have to say, I HATE the subconscious for reasons just like this.
Hell, my original goal was to synthesize our knowledge of Setesh into one place in a digestible form, and that project has been completed a few times over, most completely an entire year ago now, my goal is completed and my job is done. I could have spent all this time focusing on the dozens of problems I still have to take care of in my own life and practices, like priesthood was almost a type of deflection and procrastination. I am glad I held the role and helped those who have reached out to let me know, but when we bring it back to my own authentic metaphysical perspective, these are the tiniest drops in a vast, endless ocean. I am glad for and proud of these one-offs, but to chase such one-offs has taken me in the completely wrong direction than intended. And worse it’s had me reading books about priesthood and the like, seeking out dogma of how I “should” or am “suppose to” act as a priest, what duties are required, etc., when this is the type of acceptance of and reliance upon external dogma I abhor and caution against.
My gut reaction was what I used to always do, just leave with my tail between my legs. But upon further reflection I realized I needed to internalize and look inwards in these situations for once, and to practice proper action rather than simply ponder it. To not act like some priest who is initiated into higher mysteries or something, but as just another random person trying to do my best and what I think is right in communities I value. Honestly this is who I would rather be. I will always be Kemetic AND Left Hand Path, always be a child of Setesh, and therefore always be an outsider. Playing the role of a priest (which I will not regret for it led to some of my most useful work and best connections imo) outright contradicts this in so many ways I am honestly a bit embarrassed.
I have quit a lot of things: addictions, websites that were bad for my mental health, negatively reinforcing practices and thoughts, and my new focus is quitting both the social work drive to “fix” things (that often are not even truly “broken”), as well as the arrogance that always crops back up in me to believe that since my way is right for me and has brought me meaning and success, it is not necessarily right for all, maybe even a detriment to them as their path may be to me. My test, as I see it, is not to run away in either anger nor embarrassment, but to face my flaws and actively seek to correct them, such as continuing to engage in forums such as kemetic but as just a guy doing his thing, not the voice of a god, or Kemeticism, or academia, or any such thing.
And to those who helped bring this to my attention again, I thank you. I’ve been told both in friendly and not so friendly ways when dealing with these problems in the past, this most recent being generally friendly. In the past I have been much better about owning my nature as a child of Setesh, and priesthood as I have understood and practiced it is a direct contradiction of that nature. I don’t want to feel this drive to make people think or practice the way I do, nor do I want this drive to act or portray myself a certain way on behalf of others, even my own patron. I mean, one of my greatest magical recommendations is apathy, and I've practiced anything but that.
So today it is in optimism, humility, and hope, not anger, defeat, and arrogance that I step away from the Lector role I've taken, and once again seek to be priest of nothing more than myself and my own way.
2024.05.21 18:39 AcanthaceaeWitty74 My parents (M58, F56) have replaced me (M33) with a guy (M28) that I believe is taking advantage of them. What should I do?
Never thought I would be making a post on here, but I only get 3 free therapist visits a year so here I am.
TLDR : My parents have fully replaced me with some guy (M28) they met at work/ church. I'm slightly hurt but ultimately it's their life and they can do what the please. I am more bewildered, and concerned about my parents being taken advantage of.
First some relevant background info:
My parents are VERY religious boomers. by this I mean more religious than you would believe until you actually spoke to them. growing up this created a lot of friction between us. As I reached my teens I became disillusioned with organized Christianity mostly due to the fact that a lot of modern day interpretations miss the point of what is written in the Bible. the hypocrisy I witnessed was rampant among church members including my parents. I strongly disliked their thinly veiled revulsion for any people who they considered "sinners", a title which was doled out on a whim. even while I was in the church it would be weaponized against other church goers and even myself once. a pastor from another church told a girl I was hanging out with that I would lead her to hell, despite the fact that I also went to church. she promptly cut off all contact despite admitting that she didn't want to, but was being threatened with being kicked out of her church groups of she did not.
back to my parents: we were at odds throughout my teen years as I began to avoid church and anything about it. I did not stop believing but I did not want to be associated with their type of toxic Christianity. this was not something they could understand. when I say they are fully indoctrinated it means they are irredeemable in many of their views. they were willing to ignore any and all boundaries I set about religion even to this day. despite me telling them that what they were doing would tear our family apart. in the end they chose religion over their children. my sister is essentially no contact with them.
as a very young child, our family moved around a lot. I was a continual outsider. I had no friends, at all. my parents would say it was no big deal cause I was just a kid and kids don't care about that stuff really, kids don't know the difference, etc. but I knew the difference and I desperately wanted friendship and community. the only constants were 2 hyper controlling parents who wanted a quiet and obedient follower.
eventually we moved to a place where I was able to form solid friendships for the first time in my life. it was , to this day, the happiest time period of my life. this lasted until my final year of high school when my parents decided to move. despite me having many friends whose parents offered me a place to stay for the final year, my parents forced me to move. this caused me to spiral into a deep depression for around 3 years. I developed enduring social anxiety which I deal with to this day. I have made peace with the fact that I will never have a lot of friends, but thinking about what I missed out on is painful. years later I found out they forced me to move because they prayed and God told them it would be better for all of us if I moved with them. we needed to stay together as a family. then 2 years later they moved back to the place they took me from. all I can do is laugh at this because it is so dark and obviously bullshit. when it was my life getting fucked up "God" said ok we needed to stay together as a family. when I needed support he said naw just ditch him and move away.
my life was destroyed by religion. I have since learned that of course, we are ultimately in charge of our own happiness, but at the time I had no knowledge of trauma or therapy. simply 2 parents who reduced every concern I ever had in my life to "just pray about it". in fact throughout my entire life they diminished all of my concerns, big and small. in addition, they would often judge me for everything I did, even if they were innocent to a non religious person. so I would only tell them about things when I absolutely had no other choice. and they would treat them as wholly unimportant. they also believed that men should not be upset or emotional and should figure things out for themselves. so they would help my sister out whenever she needed it, including buying her a new car, while I was riding my bike an hour each way to go to engineering school. there were many points in my life where I was at rock bottom, and despite them having more than enough means to help me, they did not.
compounding this is the fact that all the while they diminished my own concerns, they would bend over backwards to help people not in our family. they always wanted to appear nice and helpful, but this never extended to me. in fact they would often do things to inconvenience me in order to help some random person they just met.
All of these circumstances created a very weird relationship dynamic between us all. I became avoidant, negative and pessimistic for years before I discovered therapy and began to work through my mental health issues. I struggled in many relationships I had, and always felt like I was a lesser person than everyone else. this persisted until around 3 years ago when I began to correct the errors in my thinking patterns. despite therapy, I still struggle to have a relationship with my parents. all they talk about is religion. I have given up trying to enforce the boundary there. there is no point. they don't know anything else. they cannot be different and have no desire to change, in fact they see no error in their actions throughout the years. despite me obviously having issues. they essentially chalk it up to me just being a bad egg. I have since been able to forgive them, but the trauma I experienced throughout my life has left me with tendencies they hate. I withdraw when I am depressed, I am prone to anxiety from time to time, I have ADHD, I distance myself from them because all they do is cross my boundaries to preach at me, etc etc.
Back to the present:
Before my dad retired he hired this guy, let's call him Raj, at his work. just a basic bank employee. he is a nice enough guy I think. a little awkward but nice enough. I believe he has an engineering degree from another country but it got rejected by our country, so he had to just take whatever job he could get. he is new to the country and a bit of a fish out of water, this is the reason I think most people looked past his non ordinary behavior.... I literally cannot imagine myself ever hanging out or going on vacations with my boss, who is 20+ years older than me.
he struggled to understand the job and my dad had to spend a lot of time with him to get him up to speed. he began to go to my dad for life advice beyond work, as he struggled with making friends or getting a girlfriend. I think eventually my parents invited him to church and he went, despite being originally Hindu. eventually he went with them regularly and integrated himself with them to a wild extent that I did not realize until this past weekend when they came to "visit". they brought this motherfucker with them without saying shit beforehand. paid for his hotel and all his food. bought him clothes and took him on errands. all while saying they didn't really have time to assist me; I cannot drive anymore as I began having seizures 3 years ago.
when we did finally hang out, my own parents mistakenly called me his name many times. they acted like a family and treated me like I was just some dude lol.
we went out to dinner with some friends of theirs who were also in town. during dinner they called Raj my parents adopted son. needless to say I was very weirded out. but did not say anything. if I did they would just say I was being negative and I look like the asshole.
I know Raj does not make a lot of money but somehow he was able to buy a small house a year after starting work. I have not seen proof personally but my sister has said she is sure that my pprovided the down payment. this is where I began to be concerned they are being taken advantage of. this is very out of character for my parents.
I have considered also the weirdest possiblity, that they may have some kind of weird ass sugar baby relationship but I simply cannot see that being the case. they are hypocrites about some aspects of Christianity, such as not judging people, but they are 1000% devout when it comes to what they would deem as sin.
I get the impression that they have empty nest syndrome and compounded with their propensity to bend over backwards for non family members, they have essentially adopted this guy. he is at their house several times a week. as far as I know my mom prepares most of his meals.
it appears to me that they found a replacement for me with none of the mental health issues and resentment ( that they caused) and who was willing to play the part of a church goer. I fear now, based on watching them shop together that he is taking advantage of them. If they are just choosing to help him out money wise that is MASSIVELY out of character for them to do so to this extent. this is the main reason I think they are being taken advantage of. they are doing things for this guy they would NEVER do for anyone.
I am not sure how to approach this situation or what to even think about it. I lack the bandwidth to really mull it over or be upset about it. one thing I am certain of is that me saying anything about this will do nothing except make them mad and bring them closer together .they think I am simply a negative person and don't really listen to my thoughts on things, whether I am right or not.they have always treated me like I'm a moron
Is this as weird to you as it is to me? What would you do in this scenario?
submitted by AcanthaceaeWitty74 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
TLDR : My parents have fully replaced me with some guy (M28) they met at work/ church. I'm slightly hurt but ultimately it's their life and they can do what the please. I am more bewildered, and concerned about my parents being taken advantage of.
First some relevant background info:
My parents are VERY religious boomers. by this I mean more religious than you would believe until you actually spoke to them. growing up this created a lot of friction between us. As I reached my teens I became disillusioned with organized Christianity mostly due to the fact that a lot of modern day interpretations miss the point of what is written in the Bible. the hypocrisy I witnessed was rampant among church members including my parents. I strongly disliked their thinly veiled revulsion for any people who they considered "sinners", a title which was doled out on a whim. even while I was in the church it would be weaponized against other church goers and even myself once. a pastor from another church told a girl I was hanging out with that I would lead her to hell, despite the fact that I also went to church. she promptly cut off all contact despite admitting that she didn't want to, but was being threatened with being kicked out of her church groups of she did not.
back to my parents: we were at odds throughout my teen years as I began to avoid church and anything about it. I did not stop believing but I did not want to be associated with their type of toxic Christianity. this was not something they could understand. when I say they are fully indoctrinated it means they are irredeemable in many of their views. they were willing to ignore any and all boundaries I set about religion even to this day. despite me telling them that what they were doing would tear our family apart. in the end they chose religion over their children. my sister is essentially no contact with them.
as a very young child, our family moved around a lot. I was a continual outsider. I had no friends, at all. my parents would say it was no big deal cause I was just a kid and kids don't care about that stuff really, kids don't know the difference, etc. but I knew the difference and I desperately wanted friendship and community. the only constants were 2 hyper controlling parents who wanted a quiet and obedient follower.
eventually we moved to a place where I was able to form solid friendships for the first time in my life. it was , to this day, the happiest time period of my life. this lasted until my final year of high school when my parents decided to move. despite me having many friends whose parents offered me a place to stay for the final year, my parents forced me to move. this caused me to spiral into a deep depression for around 3 years. I developed enduring social anxiety which I deal with to this day. I have made peace with the fact that I will never have a lot of friends, but thinking about what I missed out on is painful. years later I found out they forced me to move because they prayed and God told them it would be better for all of us if I moved with them. we needed to stay together as a family. then 2 years later they moved back to the place they took me from. all I can do is laugh at this because it is so dark and obviously bullshit. when it was my life getting fucked up "God" said ok we needed to stay together as a family. when I needed support he said naw just ditch him and move away.
my life was destroyed by religion. I have since learned that of course, we are ultimately in charge of our own happiness, but at the time I had no knowledge of trauma or therapy. simply 2 parents who reduced every concern I ever had in my life to "just pray about it". in fact throughout my entire life they diminished all of my concerns, big and small. in addition, they would often judge me for everything I did, even if they were innocent to a non religious person. so I would only tell them about things when I absolutely had no other choice. and they would treat them as wholly unimportant. they also believed that men should not be upset or emotional and should figure things out for themselves. so they would help my sister out whenever she needed it, including buying her a new car, while I was riding my bike an hour each way to go to engineering school. there were many points in my life where I was at rock bottom, and despite them having more than enough means to help me, they did not.
compounding this is the fact that all the while they diminished my own concerns, they would bend over backwards to help people not in our family. they always wanted to appear nice and helpful, but this never extended to me. in fact they would often do things to inconvenience me in order to help some random person they just met.
All of these circumstances created a very weird relationship dynamic between us all. I became avoidant, negative and pessimistic for years before I discovered therapy and began to work through my mental health issues. I struggled in many relationships I had, and always felt like I was a lesser person than everyone else. this persisted until around 3 years ago when I began to correct the errors in my thinking patterns. despite therapy, I still struggle to have a relationship with my parents. all they talk about is religion. I have given up trying to enforce the boundary there. there is no point. they don't know anything else. they cannot be different and have no desire to change, in fact they see no error in their actions throughout the years. despite me obviously having issues. they essentially chalk it up to me just being a bad egg. I have since been able to forgive them, but the trauma I experienced throughout my life has left me with tendencies they hate. I withdraw when I am depressed, I am prone to anxiety from time to time, I have ADHD, I distance myself from them because all they do is cross my boundaries to preach at me, etc etc.
Back to the present:
Before my dad retired he hired this guy, let's call him Raj, at his work. just a basic bank employee. he is a nice enough guy I think. a little awkward but nice enough. I believe he has an engineering degree from another country but it got rejected by our country, so he had to just take whatever job he could get. he is new to the country and a bit of a fish out of water, this is the reason I think most people looked past his non ordinary behavior.... I literally cannot imagine myself ever hanging out or going on vacations with my boss, who is 20+ years older than me.
he struggled to understand the job and my dad had to spend a lot of time with him to get him up to speed. he began to go to my dad for life advice beyond work, as he struggled with making friends or getting a girlfriend. I think eventually my parents invited him to church and he went, despite being originally Hindu. eventually he went with them regularly and integrated himself with them to a wild extent that I did not realize until this past weekend when they came to "visit". they brought this motherfucker with them without saying shit beforehand. paid for his hotel and all his food. bought him clothes and took him on errands. all while saying they didn't really have time to assist me; I cannot drive anymore as I began having seizures 3 years ago.
when we did finally hang out, my own parents mistakenly called me his name many times. they acted like a family and treated me like I was just some dude lol.
we went out to dinner with some friends of theirs who were also in town. during dinner they called Raj my parents adopted son. needless to say I was very weirded out. but did not say anything. if I did they would just say I was being negative and I look like the asshole.
I know Raj does not make a lot of money but somehow he was able to buy a small house a year after starting work. I have not seen proof personally but my sister has said she is sure that my pprovided the down payment. this is where I began to be concerned they are being taken advantage of. this is very out of character for my parents.
I have considered also the weirdest possiblity, that they may have some kind of weird ass sugar baby relationship but I simply cannot see that being the case. they are hypocrites about some aspects of Christianity, such as not judging people, but they are 1000% devout when it comes to what they would deem as sin.
I get the impression that they have empty nest syndrome and compounded with their propensity to bend over backwards for non family members, they have essentially adopted this guy. he is at their house several times a week. as far as I know my mom prepares most of his meals.
it appears to me that they found a replacement for me with none of the mental health issues and resentment ( that they caused) and who was willing to play the part of a church goer. I fear now, based on watching them shop together that he is taking advantage of them. If they are just choosing to help him out money wise that is MASSIVELY out of character for them to do so to this extent. this is the main reason I think they are being taken advantage of. they are doing things for this guy they would NEVER do for anyone.
I am not sure how to approach this situation or what to even think about it. I lack the bandwidth to really mull it over or be upset about it. one thing I am certain of is that me saying anything about this will do nothing except make them mad and bring them closer together .they think I am simply a negative person and don't really listen to my thoughts on things, whether I am right or not.they have always treated me like I'm a moron
Is this as weird to you as it is to me? What would you do in this scenario?
2024.05.21 18:39 Wandering_Scarabs The End of Allotted Time
Hello everyone! For several years I have rather (in)famously considered myself a lectopriest of my patron, Setesh. This is a role I carried with great honor, but perhaps also to great detriment. You see, one piece of ancient wisdom I chose to ignore was that priesthood was not a 24/7, lifelong role played by individuals. Indeed back then one would only be a priest for a few weeks or months before the off season. With so few people willing to take such roles in modern society, staying in it for several years makes some semblance of sense, but I think to continue would benefit neither others nor, more importantly, myself.
You see, I have noticed, and have had pointed out by people I truly respect and trust, several problems in myself that were either created or (more often) worsened by priesthood, without my own realization until now. For instance one thing which was called out is the responsibility I feel to “correct” others when their views/understanding/etc do not match my own, like pushing the differentiations between historical Egyptian religion as opposed to new ageism (I originally wrote “new age nonsense” which proves my point that this role has led me against pluralism). Or feeling the need to write and read constantly about topics beyond the point of exhaustion when, at best, maybe 5 people even care for that level of information and effort. Or simply an overinflated sense of worth for my own path and knowledge, which directly opposes my more recent attempts at pluralism, such as portraying Kemeticism as good and new ageism as bad, when I know deep down and full well that this is an ignorant and arrogant misunderstanding of the situation, and one is simply good/bad for myself, not for all.
When I reached out to Kemetic last year to clear my name after being mistaken for a Satanist/ToS member, my main argument was that I feel compelled and driven to share knowledge of Setesh and Kemeticism, to correct what I see as ignorance and take at least partial responsibility for the spiritual development of others. That… doesn't fit with my philosophy or metaphysics at all though. I was reminded as recently as yesterday that this is literally not my responsibility, that I’ve basically taken my social work background and applied it to Kemeticism or even the LHP. I hated social work and left for all these same reasons: systems in place limit how much you can help, people don’t even actually want help, and why am I responsible for the lives of others? Perhaps most importantly, is my way even actually better or just working for me and I am causing more harm than good pushing it on others? I cannot help but feel it is almost part of a subconscious masochism those who also have mental illness are likely familiar with, an unconscious drive to put yourself in situations that will only frustrate you and make you sad. And I have to say, I HATE the subconscious for reasons just like this.
Hell, my original goal was to synthesize our knowledge of Setesh into one place in a digestible form, and that project has been completed a few times over, most completely an entire year ago now, my goal is completed and my job is done. I could have spent all this time focusing on the dozens of problems I still have to take care of in my own life and practices, like priesthood was almost a type of deflection and procrastination. I am glad I held the role and helped those who have reached out to let me know, but when we bring it back to my own authentic metaphysical perspective, these are the tiniest drops in a vast, endless ocean. I am glad for and proud of these one-offs, but to chase such one-offs has taken me in the completely wrong direction than intended. And worse it’s had me reading books about priesthood and the like, seeking out dogma of how I “should” or am “suppose to” act as a priest, what duties are required, etc., when this is the type of acceptance of and reliance upon external dogma I abhor and caution against.
My gut reaction was what I used to always do, just leave with my tail between my legs. But upon further reflection I realized I needed to internalize and look inwards in these situations for once, and to practice proper action rather than simply ponder it. To not act like some priest who is initiated into higher mysteries or something, but as just another random person trying to do my best and what I think is right in communities I value. Honestly this is who I would rather be. I will always be Kemetic AND Left Hand Path, always be a child of Setesh, and therefore always be an outsider. Playing the role of a priest (which I will not regret for it led to some of my most useful work and best connections imo) outright contradicts this in so many ways I am honestly a bit embarrassed.
I have quit a lot of things: addictions, websites that were bad for my mental health, negatively reinforcing practices and thoughts, and my new focus is quitting both the social work drive to “fix” things (that often are not even truly “broken”), as well as the arrogance that always crops back up in me to believe that since my way is right for me and has brought me meaning and success, it is not necessarily right for all, maybe even a detriment to them as their path may be to me. My test, as I see it, is not to run away in either anger nor embarrassment, but to face my flaws and actively seek to correct them, such as continuing to engage in forums such as kemetic but as just a guy doing his thing, not the voice of a god, or Kemeticism, or academia, or any such thing.
And to those who helped bring this to my attention again, I thank you. I’ve been told both in friendly and not so friendly ways when dealing with these problems in the past, this most recent being generally friendly. In the past I have been much better about owning my nature as a child of Setesh, and priesthood as I have understood and practiced it is a direct contradiction of that nature. I don’t want to feel this drive to make people think or practice the way I do, nor do I want this drive to act or portray myself a certain way on behalf of others, even my own patron. I mean, one of my greatest magical recommendations is apathy, and I've practiced anything but that.
So today it is in optimism, humility, and hope, not anger, defeat, and arrogance that I step away from the Lector role I've taken, and once again seek to be priest of nothing more than myself and my own way.
submitted by Wandering_Scarabs to Kemetic [link] [comments]
You see, I have noticed, and have had pointed out by people I truly respect and trust, several problems in myself that were either created or (more often) worsened by priesthood, without my own realization until now. For instance one thing which was called out is the responsibility I feel to “correct” others when their views/understanding/etc do not match my own, like pushing the differentiations between historical Egyptian religion as opposed to new ageism (I originally wrote “new age nonsense” which proves my point that this role has led me against pluralism). Or feeling the need to write and read constantly about topics beyond the point of exhaustion when, at best, maybe 5 people even care for that level of information and effort. Or simply an overinflated sense of worth for my own path and knowledge, which directly opposes my more recent attempts at pluralism, such as portraying Kemeticism as good and new ageism as bad, when I know deep down and full well that this is an ignorant and arrogant misunderstanding of the situation, and one is simply good/bad for myself, not for all.
When I reached out to Kemetic last year to clear my name after being mistaken for a Satanist/ToS member, my main argument was that I feel compelled and driven to share knowledge of Setesh and Kemeticism, to correct what I see as ignorance and take at least partial responsibility for the spiritual development of others. That… doesn't fit with my philosophy or metaphysics at all though. I was reminded as recently as yesterday that this is literally not my responsibility, that I’ve basically taken my social work background and applied it to Kemeticism or even the LHP. I hated social work and left for all these same reasons: systems in place limit how much you can help, people don’t even actually want help, and why am I responsible for the lives of others? Perhaps most importantly, is my way even actually better or just working for me and I am causing more harm than good pushing it on others? I cannot help but feel it is almost part of a subconscious masochism those who also have mental illness are likely familiar with, an unconscious drive to put yourself in situations that will only frustrate you and make you sad. And I have to say, I HATE the subconscious for reasons just like this.
Hell, my original goal was to synthesize our knowledge of Setesh into one place in a digestible form, and that project has been completed a few times over, most completely an entire year ago now, my goal is completed and my job is done. I could have spent all this time focusing on the dozens of problems I still have to take care of in my own life and practices, like priesthood was almost a type of deflection and procrastination. I am glad I held the role and helped those who have reached out to let me know, but when we bring it back to my own authentic metaphysical perspective, these are the tiniest drops in a vast, endless ocean. I am glad for and proud of these one-offs, but to chase such one-offs has taken me in the completely wrong direction than intended. And worse it’s had me reading books about priesthood and the like, seeking out dogma of how I “should” or am “suppose to” act as a priest, what duties are required, etc., when this is the type of acceptance of and reliance upon external dogma I abhor and caution against.
My gut reaction was what I used to always do, just leave with my tail between my legs. But upon further reflection I realized I needed to internalize and look inwards in these situations for once, and to practice proper action rather than simply ponder it. To not act like some priest who is initiated into higher mysteries or something, but as just another random person trying to do my best and what I think is right in communities I value. Honestly this is who I would rather be. I will always be Kemetic AND Left Hand Path, always be a child of Setesh, and therefore always be an outsider. Playing the role of a priest (which I will not regret for it led to some of my most useful work and best connections imo) outright contradicts this in so many ways I am honestly a bit embarrassed.
I have quit a lot of things: addictions, websites that were bad for my mental health, negatively reinforcing practices and thoughts, and my new focus is quitting both the social work drive to “fix” things (that often are not even truly “broken”), as well as the arrogance that always crops back up in me to believe that since my way is right for me and has brought me meaning and success, it is not necessarily right for all, maybe even a detriment to them as their path may be to me. My test, as I see it, is not to run away in either anger nor embarrassment, but to face my flaws and actively seek to correct them, such as continuing to engage in forums such as kemetic but as just a guy doing his thing, not the voice of a god, or Kemeticism, or academia, or any such thing.
And to those who helped bring this to my attention again, I thank you. I’ve been told both in friendly and not so friendly ways when dealing with these problems in the past, this most recent being generally friendly. In the past I have been much better about owning my nature as a child of Setesh, and priesthood as I have understood and practiced it is a direct contradiction of that nature. I don’t want to feel this drive to make people think or practice the way I do, nor do I want this drive to act or portray myself a certain way on behalf of others, even my own patron. I mean, one of my greatest magical recommendations is apathy, and I've practiced anything but that.
So today it is in optimism, humility, and hope, not anger, defeat, and arrogance that I step away from the Lector role I've taken, and once again seek to be priest of nothing more than myself and my own way.
2024.05.21 18:37 Wandering_Scarabs The End of Allotted Time
Hello everyone! For several years I have rather (in)famously considered myself a lectopriest of my patron, Setesh. This is a role I carried with great honor, but perhaps also to great detriment. You see, one piece of ancient wisdom I chose to ignore was that priesthood was not a 24/7, lifelong role played by individuals. Indeed back then one would only be a priest for a few weeks or months before the off season. With so few people willing to take such roles in modern society, staying in it for several years makes some semblance of sense, but I think to continue would benefit neither others nor, more importantly, myself.
You see, I have noticed, and have had pointed out by people I truly respect and trust, several problems in myself that were either created or (more often) worsened by priesthood, without my own realization until now. For instance one thing which was called out is the responsibility I feel to “correct” others when their views/understanding/etc do not match my own, like pushing the differentiations between historical Egyptian religion as opposed to new ageism (I originally wrote “new age nonsense” which proves my point that this role has led me against pluralism). Or feeling the need to write and read constantly about topics beyond the point of exhaustion when, at best, maybe 5 people even care for that level of information and effort. Or simply an overinflated sense of worth for my own path and knowledge, which directly opposes my more recent attempts at pluralism, such as portraying Kemeticism as good and new ageism as bad, when I know deep down and full well that this is an ignorant and arrogant misunderstanding of the situation, and one is simply good/bad for myself, not for all.
When I reached out to Kemetic last year to clear my name after being mistaken for a Satanist/ToS member, my main argument was that I feel compelled and driven to share knowledge of Setesh and Kemeticism, to correct what I see as ignorance and take at least partial responsibility for the spiritual development of others. That… doesn't fit with my philosophy or metaphysics at all though. I was reminded as recently as yesterday that this is literally not my responsibility, that I’ve basically taken my social work background and applied it to Kemeticism or even the LHP. I hated social work and left for all these same reasons: systems in place limit how much you can help, people don’t even actually want help, and why am I responsible for the lives of others? Perhaps most importantly, is my way even actually better or just working for me and I am causing more harm than good pushing it on others? I cannot help but feel it is almost part of a subconscious masochism those who also have mental illness are likely familiar with, an unconscious drive to put yourself in situations that will only frustrate you and make you sad. And I have to say, I HATE the subconscious for reasons just like this.
Hell, my original goal was to synthesize our knowledge of Setesh into one place in a digestible form, and that project has been completed a few times over, most completely an entire year ago now, my goal is completed and my job is done. I could have spent all this time focusing on the dozens of problems I still have to take care of in my own life and practices, like priesthood was almost a type of deflection and procrastination. I am glad I held the role and helped those who have reached out to let me know, but when we bring it back to my own authentic metaphysical perspective, these are the tiniest drops in a vast, endless ocean. I am glad for and proud of these one-offs, but to chase such one-offs has taken me in the completely wrong direction than intended. And worse it’s had me reading books about priesthood and the like, seeking out dogma of how I “should” or am “suppose to” act as a priest, what duties are required, etc., when this is the type of acceptance of and reliance upon external dogma I abhor and caution against.
My gut reaction was what I used to always do, just leave with my tail between my legs. But upon further reflection I realized I needed to internalize and look inwards in these situations for once, and to practice proper action rather than simply ponder it. To not act like some priest who is initiated into higher mysteries or something, but as just another random person trying to do my best and what I think is right in communities I value. Honestly this is who I would rather be. I will always be Kemetic AND Left Hand Path, always be a child of Setesh, and therefore always be an outsider. Playing the role of a priest (which I will not regret for it led to some of my most useful work and best connections imo) outright contradicts this in so many ways I am honestly a bit embarrassed.
I have quit a lot of things: addictions, websites that were bad for my mental health, negatively reinforcing practices and thoughts, and my new focus is quitting both the social work drive to “fix” things (that often are not even truly “broken”), as well as the arrogance that always crops back up in me to believe that since my way is right for me and has brought me meaning and success, it is not necessarily right for all, maybe even a detriment to them as their path may be to me. My test, as I see it, is not to run away in either anger nor embarrassment, but to face my flaws and actively seek to correct them, such as continuing to engage in forums such as kemetic but as just a guy doing his thing, not the voice of a god, or Kemeticism, or academia, or any such thing.
And to those who helped bring this to my attention again, I thank you. I’ve been told both in friendly and not so friendly ways when dealing with these problems in the past, this most recent being generally friendly. In the past I have been much better about owning my nature as a child of Setesh, and priesthood as I have understood and practiced it is a direct contradiction of that nature. I don’t want to feel this drive to make people think or practice the way I do, nor do I want this drive to act or portray myself a certain way on behalf of others, even my own patron. I mean, one of my greatest magical recommendations is apathy, and I've practiced anything but that.
So today it is in optimism, humility, and hope, not anger, defeat, and arrogance that I step away from the Lector role I've taken, and once again seek to be priest of nothing more than myself and my own way.
submitted by Wandering_Scarabs to WanderingInDarkness [link] [comments]
You see, I have noticed, and have had pointed out by people I truly respect and trust, several problems in myself that were either created or (more often) worsened by priesthood, without my own realization until now. For instance one thing which was called out is the responsibility I feel to “correct” others when their views/understanding/etc do not match my own, like pushing the differentiations between historical Egyptian religion as opposed to new ageism (I originally wrote “new age nonsense” which proves my point that this role has led me against pluralism). Or feeling the need to write and read constantly about topics beyond the point of exhaustion when, at best, maybe 5 people even care for that level of information and effort. Or simply an overinflated sense of worth for my own path and knowledge, which directly opposes my more recent attempts at pluralism, such as portraying Kemeticism as good and new ageism as bad, when I know deep down and full well that this is an ignorant and arrogant misunderstanding of the situation, and one is simply good/bad for myself, not for all.
When I reached out to Kemetic last year to clear my name after being mistaken for a Satanist/ToS member, my main argument was that I feel compelled and driven to share knowledge of Setesh and Kemeticism, to correct what I see as ignorance and take at least partial responsibility for the spiritual development of others. That… doesn't fit with my philosophy or metaphysics at all though. I was reminded as recently as yesterday that this is literally not my responsibility, that I’ve basically taken my social work background and applied it to Kemeticism or even the LHP. I hated social work and left for all these same reasons: systems in place limit how much you can help, people don’t even actually want help, and why am I responsible for the lives of others? Perhaps most importantly, is my way even actually better or just working for me and I am causing more harm than good pushing it on others? I cannot help but feel it is almost part of a subconscious masochism those who also have mental illness are likely familiar with, an unconscious drive to put yourself in situations that will only frustrate you and make you sad. And I have to say, I HATE the subconscious for reasons just like this.
Hell, my original goal was to synthesize our knowledge of Setesh into one place in a digestible form, and that project has been completed a few times over, most completely an entire year ago now, my goal is completed and my job is done. I could have spent all this time focusing on the dozens of problems I still have to take care of in my own life and practices, like priesthood was almost a type of deflection and procrastination. I am glad I held the role and helped those who have reached out to let me know, but when we bring it back to my own authentic metaphysical perspective, these are the tiniest drops in a vast, endless ocean. I am glad for and proud of these one-offs, but to chase such one-offs has taken me in the completely wrong direction than intended. And worse it’s had me reading books about priesthood and the like, seeking out dogma of how I “should” or am “suppose to” act as a priest, what duties are required, etc., when this is the type of acceptance of and reliance upon external dogma I abhor and caution against.
My gut reaction was what I used to always do, just leave with my tail between my legs. But upon further reflection I realized I needed to internalize and look inwards in these situations for once, and to practice proper action rather than simply ponder it. To not act like some priest who is initiated into higher mysteries or something, but as just another random person trying to do my best and what I think is right in communities I value. Honestly this is who I would rather be. I will always be Kemetic AND Left Hand Path, always be a child of Setesh, and therefore always be an outsider. Playing the role of a priest (which I will not regret for it led to some of my most useful work and best connections imo) outright contradicts this in so many ways I am honestly a bit embarrassed.
I have quit a lot of things: addictions, websites that were bad for my mental health, negatively reinforcing practices and thoughts, and my new focus is quitting both the social work drive to “fix” things (that often are not even truly “broken”), as well as the arrogance that always crops back up in me to believe that since my way is right for me and has brought me meaning and success, it is not necessarily right for all, maybe even a detriment to them as their path may be to me. My test, as I see it, is not to run away in either anger nor embarrassment, but to face my flaws and actively seek to correct them, such as continuing to engage in forums such as kemetic but as just a guy doing his thing, not the voice of a god, or Kemeticism, or academia, or any such thing.
And to those who helped bring this to my attention again, I thank you. I’ve been told both in friendly and not so friendly ways when dealing with these problems in the past, this most recent being generally friendly. In the past I have been much better about owning my nature as a child of Setesh, and priesthood as I have understood and practiced it is a direct contradiction of that nature. I don’t want to feel this drive to make people think or practice the way I do, nor do I want this drive to act or portray myself a certain way on behalf of others, even my own patron. I mean, one of my greatest magical recommendations is apathy, and I've practiced anything but that.
So today it is in optimism, humility, and hope, not anger, defeat, and arrogance that I step away from the Lector role I've taken, and once again seek to be priest of nothing more than myself and my own way.
2024.05.21 18:37 DavidFromDeutschland New Ability Concepts
Thought this might be fun. Some of the names are a bit memey and reference things but I tried to actually ballance them somewhat (don't count on it tho). Let me know what you think. There aren't any abilities that are different version of existing abilities. No Special Intimidate or Blaze for other types. I would love to see them but countless people already made concepts for those.
Ultra Instinct:
The Pokémon gains +1 evasion if the enemy uses an attack in succession.
It's not on actual stat increase that remains. If the enemy uses another attack the evasion boost disappears. It punishes spam and choice player. The ability is meant for fighting types that aren't super tanky.
Protect Armor
Both of the Pokémon's defensive stats double in the round it switches in.
Only there to make switches easier. Does not increase in the first round of the battle. Meant for offense Pokémon with poor typing that struggle to switch in.
Suffering Chain:
Pokémon has a 40% chance to inflict the status condition it currently suffers from with every attack.
Bit of a gimmick ability. You could use Flame Orb on an special attacker that could burn a physical attacker for example.
Afterlife:
After fainting the Pokémon revives in the back of the party as a Ghost type with 1 HP.
I think this ability might be fun but this is probably meant for a specific Pokémon balanced around it like Shedinja with Wonder Guard.
All Out:
Attacks that hit the Pokémon are always critical but the Pokémon also always lands critical hits.
Though this could be fun chaotic. F it we ball ability.
Second Try:
Once per battle the Pokémon gains an attack boost if it misses an attack.
Physical and Special attack trigger the corresponding stat. You could use a low accuracy attack to gain the stat but purposefully missing an attack could make you lose the game. Kinda risky.
Sleep Walking:
50% chance for the Pokémon to use a random attack when sleeping.
submitted by DavidFromDeutschland to stunfisk [link] [comments]
Ultra Instinct:
The Pokémon gains +1 evasion if the enemy uses an attack in succession.
It's not on actual stat increase that remains. If the enemy uses another attack the evasion boost disappears. It punishes spam and choice player. The ability is meant for fighting types that aren't super tanky.
Protect Armor
Both of the Pokémon's defensive stats double in the round it switches in.
Only there to make switches easier. Does not increase in the first round of the battle. Meant for offense Pokémon with poor typing that struggle to switch in.
Suffering Chain:
Pokémon has a 40% chance to inflict the status condition it currently suffers from with every attack.
Bit of a gimmick ability. You could use Flame Orb on an special attacker that could burn a physical attacker for example.
Afterlife:
After fainting the Pokémon revives in the back of the party as a Ghost type with 1 HP.
I think this ability might be fun but this is probably meant for a specific Pokémon balanced around it like Shedinja with Wonder Guard.
All Out:
Attacks that hit the Pokémon are always critical but the Pokémon also always lands critical hits.
Though this could be fun chaotic. F it we ball ability.
Second Try:
Once per battle the Pokémon gains an attack boost if it misses an attack.
Physical and Special attack trigger the corresponding stat. You could use a low accuracy attack to gain the stat but purposefully missing an attack could make you lose the game. Kinda risky.
Sleep Walking:
50% chance for the Pokémon to use a random attack when sleeping.
2024.05.21 18:36 DracoDagonWyrm Chaquetrix Future Part 2: The Changeling Species
In the last post we talk about how the chaquetrix would be upgrade for the future, or at least what I think we would be a good idea for it. In this post we go even father into how the upgrades to the chaquetrix and Ben effects his children and descendants and how they effect the universe. We talk the a new species made by Ben and the chaquetrix girls, the changeling species.
While Azmuth design the chaquetrix to save species by mating so he design that the first genertation made by the chaquetrix, AKA the kids of the wearer, could mate with both the wearer species and the pure species of their chaquetrix parent. This was done making it so the kids would have three forms, the wearer species form, a hybrid form, and pure chaquetrix parent form. He also design that the parents, no matter how the species normally propagate, would have litters of ten at least. However something happen he didn't plan for, something that happen with the chaquetrix 2 being upgrade into the chaquetrix 2.10. The children of the chaquetrix 2.10 and their descendants inhered omnicores as part of their biology, and inhered the some of the abilities of the the chaquetrix. So when Ben and the chaquetrix girls starting having children, and they had a lot of children, they were creating a new and powerful species, and species that comes in three phenotype. And in order to explain what makes this species so powerful we explain the abilities of the three phenotypes first.
Duotrix: The common form of the changelings, call duotrixes because they have three base forms. A human anodite hybrid form like that of Ben himself, a pure alien form which thanks to the nemetrix upgrade could come from non-sapient species, and hybrid form of the two. So they called duotrix because of they two base species forms and a third hybrid form of the two. They can stay any of these base for as long as they wish and as for they their abilities of these forms, well the alien form has powers of whatever that species but incease beyond what is normal for that species thank to the Potis Altiare upgrade the chaquetrix had. In their "human" form, which is also strengthen by the Potis Altiare upgrade, they are able to perform magic if the learn how to, which most do, in way similar to Gwen. While in hybrid form they have accuess to their alien powers and to a lesser extent their magic powers as well. This is due to the fact that thanks to the omnicore functions most changelings are unable to perform magic in full alien form unless that alien form is something like anodite.
However, this isn't all they can do and isn't all their forms, for while they can't fully transform into other species. They can still scan and store genetics of other species and use those genetics in other ways. But in keep in mind all other transformation outside their three based forms can only last a total of ten minutes. Now the first of these alter forms is their fusion forms, they can combine any of their three based for with the genetics of one other species. Now for their human form this just turns into another hybrid form for their other two forms it can have other changes as mix in this other species. Next is their Omni-Enchanced forms which are similar to their fusion forms but instead of a full fusion they only use the third species to enhanced their based forms. Giving them new features and some new abilities based on what species they used to enhanced themselves. There is also their amalgam forms, in which they take their alien form and combine it with nine other species to create a new hybrid, and "alien", that 1/10 the power of ten species combine. And finally the last way they can use the genetics they store in their omnicore is by making use of the slime-biot powers, giving to them thanks to the chaquetrix being upgrade to have them. To put simply they can morph their limbs, grow new ones, and make tools and weapons by using the genetics store in their omnicore as if they had a slime-biot of their own. They can also regenerate by using this feature as if they had a slime-biot (regrow lost body parts, fix damage ones) and in a way even more thanks to the fact that their consciousness is store in their omnicore, so they can even regrow their heads. And while this end of the transformations they get by other species genetics, it isn't the end of their transformations.
Thanks to inhering omnicores, they also inhered omni-naut and omni-kik which simply just allows them to wear either of said armor in any of their based forms. They also have an ultimate that allows their hybrid and alien form to become an ultimate form, and as for their human form. They lose the ability to do magic in this but they can use the powers of any alien species they have store in their omnicore, they don't transform however so can limit these powers in some way. They also have antitrix forms as well, in these state their human form becomes an osmosian form. Their skin turns grey or pale white, their hair becomes tentacle like, they grow four small horns, and they lose their magic but abosd matter instead. So they get Kevin powers basely, and they use these powers in hybrid mode as well. Their alien form and hybrid forms becomes a antitrix version of that form, causing them to be more aggressive. Then there evos forms which came about from the chaquetrix absorbing nanobots, their human become robotic like and they get the power to turn their limbs into kinds of machines as well grow machines from their body (so Rex's powers), their alien from becomes a more monstrous version of their based alien form and their hybrid form is a mix of the two.
Unitrix: A little less common the duotrixs, only one in every ten changelings is born unitrix, these are frankly just a stronger version of Eunice. They have her powers, but they don't have to touch others they can just scan them, they have evo human mode, and osmosian mode, as well as ultimate mode in which they get the ultimate powers of whatever species they using at the moment. They do store the genetics allowing their slime-biot powers to use them both now and latter, and yes this does mean they can use the powers latter as well. They also have omni-naut and omni-kik armor, but they don't have fusion, amalgam, hybrid, or Omni-Enchanced modes. And yes they can the Potis Altiare upgrade as well.
Omnitrix: Based on the name of these changeling, which only one in a hundred are born, it should be clear what they do. They can become any species, or take hybrid form of any species, and stay in based forms as long as they want. They also have fusion forms, ultimate forms, antitrix forms, evo forms, Omni-Enchaced forms, amalgam forms, omni-naut form, omni-kik forms, as well slime-biot powers, that they can freely use with any based alien and hybrid forms. They can also get new forms by scanning, Note, scanning powers can work on changeling in full based alien forms as well true member of the species. They carelt powerful version of the changeling species because of that.
Other Changeling Powers: Now quick list of powers all three types of changelings have that have that simply less obvious then the transformation powers, and has to do with their omnicores. First all changelings can change their at will, second all changelings do have some control over their looks. If they what they can permanently their looks in the same way you may change the looks of character in video game. For example they can give themselves curly hair or red eyes instead of green, and even make themselves a bit taller or shorter. They also all have an universal translator, the ability to surf the extranet, to record video and audio , to send messages including phone calls and video calls. They can generation and change clothes thanks their uniform feature on their omnicores. And finally and possibly more importantly they can store items, people, and themselves within their omnicores. Causing many changelings to see the inside of their omnicores as mix of their bedrooms and homes.
Changeling Reproduction: Where do new changelings come form? Simple, any offspring between a changeling and a non-changeling will be a changeling, and thanks to how powers work they can mate with just about anything. Now as what kind of changeling the kids will, well that depends, first of thanks to them storing genetics in their omnicore the kids could be duotrixs of any species they have in their, if they aren't unitrixs or omnitrixes instead. If two changelings have kids together, which that haven't done yet as they still see each other as family, the kids will also be changelings as well with a higher chance to get omnitrixes then normal.
And that is all I have on the changeling powers and abilities, and just how far have I though of ahead for the changeling species? Not that far, I only thought of to the time of Ben's great-great grandkids. In this future the changelings are mostly on Earth but there are a high number of them found on Galvan Prime and Petropia as well. Plus some living Primus as well, with that be being listed as their official home planet. Many changelings have join the plumbers thanks to family traditions, with a lot also choosing to become explorers to find new species to increase the power of the changeling species over all.
So what do you think of this idea? If you like you are free to use it
submitted by DracoDagonWyrm to ChaquetrixEnglishVer [link] [comments]
While Azmuth design the chaquetrix to save species by mating so he design that the first genertation made by the chaquetrix, AKA the kids of the wearer, could mate with both the wearer species and the pure species of their chaquetrix parent. This was done making it so the kids would have three forms, the wearer species form, a hybrid form, and pure chaquetrix parent form. He also design that the parents, no matter how the species normally propagate, would have litters of ten at least. However something happen he didn't plan for, something that happen with the chaquetrix 2 being upgrade into the chaquetrix 2.10. The children of the chaquetrix 2.10 and their descendants inhered omnicores as part of their biology, and inhered the some of the abilities of the the chaquetrix. So when Ben and the chaquetrix girls starting having children, and they had a lot of children, they were creating a new and powerful species, and species that comes in three phenotype. And in order to explain what makes this species so powerful we explain the abilities of the three phenotypes first.
Duotrix: The common form of the changelings, call duotrixes because they have three base forms. A human anodite hybrid form like that of Ben himself, a pure alien form which thanks to the nemetrix upgrade could come from non-sapient species, and hybrid form of the two. So they called duotrix because of they two base species forms and a third hybrid form of the two. They can stay any of these base for as long as they wish and as for they their abilities of these forms, well the alien form has powers of whatever that species but incease beyond what is normal for that species thank to the Potis Altiare upgrade the chaquetrix had. In their "human" form, which is also strengthen by the Potis Altiare upgrade, they are able to perform magic if the learn how to, which most do, in way similar to Gwen. While in hybrid form they have accuess to their alien powers and to a lesser extent their magic powers as well. This is due to the fact that thanks to the omnicore functions most changelings are unable to perform magic in full alien form unless that alien form is something like anodite.
However, this isn't all they can do and isn't all their forms, for while they can't fully transform into other species. They can still scan and store genetics of other species and use those genetics in other ways. But in keep in mind all other transformation outside their three based forms can only last a total of ten minutes. Now the first of these alter forms is their fusion forms, they can combine any of their three based for with the genetics of one other species. Now for their human form this just turns into another hybrid form for their other two forms it can have other changes as mix in this other species. Next is their Omni-Enchanced forms which are similar to their fusion forms but instead of a full fusion they only use the third species to enhanced their based forms. Giving them new features and some new abilities based on what species they used to enhanced themselves. There is also their amalgam forms, in which they take their alien form and combine it with nine other species to create a new hybrid, and "alien", that 1/10 the power of ten species combine. And finally the last way they can use the genetics they store in their omnicore is by making use of the slime-biot powers, giving to them thanks to the chaquetrix being upgrade to have them. To put simply they can morph their limbs, grow new ones, and make tools and weapons by using the genetics store in their omnicore as if they had a slime-biot of their own. They can also regenerate by using this feature as if they had a slime-biot (regrow lost body parts, fix damage ones) and in a way even more thanks to the fact that their consciousness is store in their omnicore, so they can even regrow their heads. And while this end of the transformations they get by other species genetics, it isn't the end of their transformations.
Thanks to inhering omnicores, they also inhered omni-naut and omni-kik which simply just allows them to wear either of said armor in any of their based forms. They also have an ultimate that allows their hybrid and alien form to become an ultimate form, and as for their human form. They lose the ability to do magic in this but they can use the powers of any alien species they have store in their omnicore, they don't transform however so can limit these powers in some way. They also have antitrix forms as well, in these state their human form becomes an osmosian form. Their skin turns grey or pale white, their hair becomes tentacle like, they grow four small horns, and they lose their magic but abosd matter instead. So they get Kevin powers basely, and they use these powers in hybrid mode as well. Their alien form and hybrid forms becomes a antitrix version of that form, causing them to be more aggressive. Then there evos forms which came about from the chaquetrix absorbing nanobots, their human become robotic like and they get the power to turn their limbs into kinds of machines as well grow machines from their body (so Rex's powers), their alien from becomes a more monstrous version of their based alien form and their hybrid form is a mix of the two.
Unitrix: A little less common the duotrixs, only one in every ten changelings is born unitrix, these are frankly just a stronger version of Eunice. They have her powers, but they don't have to touch others they can just scan them, they have evo human mode, and osmosian mode, as well as ultimate mode in which they get the ultimate powers of whatever species they using at the moment. They do store the genetics allowing their slime-biot powers to use them both now and latter, and yes this does mean they can use the powers latter as well. They also have omni-naut and omni-kik armor, but they don't have fusion, amalgam, hybrid, or Omni-Enchanced modes. And yes they can the Potis Altiare upgrade as well.
Omnitrix: Based on the name of these changeling, which only one in a hundred are born, it should be clear what they do. They can become any species, or take hybrid form of any species, and stay in based forms as long as they want. They also have fusion forms, ultimate forms, antitrix forms, evo forms, Omni-Enchaced forms, amalgam forms, omni-naut form, omni-kik forms, as well slime-biot powers, that they can freely use with any based alien and hybrid forms. They can also get new forms by scanning, Note, scanning powers can work on changeling in full based alien forms as well true member of the species. They carelt powerful version of the changeling species because of that.
Other Changeling Powers: Now quick list of powers all three types of changelings have that have that simply less obvious then the transformation powers, and has to do with their omnicores. First all changelings can change their at will, second all changelings do have some control over their looks. If they what they can permanently their looks in the same way you may change the looks of character in video game. For example they can give themselves curly hair or red eyes instead of green, and even make themselves a bit taller or shorter. They also all have an universal translator, the ability to surf the extranet, to record video and audio , to send messages including phone calls and video calls. They can generation and change clothes thanks their uniform feature on their omnicores. And finally and possibly more importantly they can store items, people, and themselves within their omnicores. Causing many changelings to see the inside of their omnicores as mix of their bedrooms and homes.
Changeling Reproduction: Where do new changelings come form? Simple, any offspring between a changeling and a non-changeling will be a changeling, and thanks to how powers work they can mate with just about anything. Now as what kind of changeling the kids will, well that depends, first of thanks to them storing genetics in their omnicore the kids could be duotrixs of any species they have in their, if they aren't unitrixs or omnitrixes instead. If two changelings have kids together, which that haven't done yet as they still see each other as family, the kids will also be changelings as well with a higher chance to get omnitrixes then normal.
And that is all I have on the changeling powers and abilities, and just how far have I though of ahead for the changeling species? Not that far, I only thought of to the time of Ben's great-great grandkids. In this future the changelings are mostly on Earth but there are a high number of them found on Galvan Prime and Petropia as well. Plus some living Primus as well, with that be being listed as their official home planet. Many changelings have join the plumbers thanks to family traditions, with a lot also choosing to become explorers to find new species to increase the power of the changeling species over all.
So what do you think of this idea? If you like you are free to use it
2024.05.21 18:29 Kurai7Hakari [Online][5e][Saturday 10am MST][Weekly] "The Seven Desert wonders" Looking for 1 player in a desert themed Long-Term Homebrew Campaign Player(s) wanted
Hi everyone, Firstly id like to say I'm not the Dm, I'm one of the players. We're Looking for one more player to join our group of. We're looking for a fun and friendly player interested in roleplaying and all aspects of D&D. The playtime would be weekly Saturdays 10am MST for roughly 3-4 hours.
It is a 5e Homebrew world
Premise
Dear adventurers,
We will start our journey in the lands of Equanox
These lands are barren and vast, not many venture further than they need to. No one would want to pay the price for traveling in the immense heat of the deserts unless they are truly prepared for it.
Forests, vast fields of grass, and water are rare, and always fought over. Yet people here found peace, in their own cities or so it seemed. In Equanox, they call them cities, but they are as large as kingdoms to sustain the people living within the protective walls and barriers made of magic.
Magic is treasured, it is also as rare. And any city that is able to obtain a magic user is a lucky one. After all, only because of this magic are they able to comfortably live away from the never-ending, scorching heat. Where no night comes and people live from Dusk to Dawn with daylight never fading. There is only the sun in the sky, no stars, no moon. And many don't know that there could be more to the sky.
In Equanox there are seven deserts:
Auri desert
Oreen desert
Myrth desert
Sall desert
Dunes of Daron
Null or Rocky desert
Raft desert
To cross the smallest desert with a mount, it takes around half a month varying on what kind of mount it is and almost a full one on foot. [Do note the number of recourses to do that is really difficult to get. But passing strangers might take you to a place for a reasonable amount of gold.]
There are three main cities. Echos, Quan-Ma, and Goron.
There are also larger or smaller towns in their territories. They are important enough to be on the map but are by no means considered to be kingdom cities like the 3 main ones. But they are crucial to their lifeline, they bring in materials, and trade to these 3 cities. And through them, all work in unity to bring all to the capital which is not easy to enter and not many can even lay their eyes upon it.
[From normal terms Capital is something like an empire but it does not rule over all the land of Equanox, there are cities under the capital but they have their own rulers just like kingdoms do, and in their respected territory lies the stopping points that are known through the whole Equanox and without them it would be impossible to travel through the deserts. And no matter what size, they are towns. What one records on the map is what is deemed important which would be the capital, cities, and towns. Everything else is an uncharted territory.
There are also Race restrictions and most homebrew is generally not allowed but if you do have any homebrew ideas run it through the DM first.
Races within the world:
Most common ones:
Human
Tiefling
Dwarf
Halfling
Gnome
Rarley seen:
Dragonborn (here known as drake folk)
Elf (Sun or Gold elves, Wood or Emerald elves and Blue or Sapphire elves)
Half-elf
Half-orc
Satyr
Very rare:
Yuan-ti
Leonin
Lizardfolk
Deep gnome
Duergar
Drow (Purple Elves, Amethyst) (edited)
Players will be starting at level 1 and again i want to mention that the campaign will have a strong element of roleplaying so if you prefer heavy combat and a constant a dungeon crawl this may not be for you. That doesn't mean combat isn't involved. when creating a player do think of a backstory as you backstory will eventually tie into the campaign to, we're all laid back and joke around and sometimes break character, we're all here to have fun in sessions and out of sessions too. Player 1 - Half-elf paladin Player 2 - Dragonborn Cleric Player 3 - Yuan-ti artificer
There are three players and you will be our 4th and final of our group. we are all in our 20s so ideally we would like to find a player that is close to our age group. We use Discord for voice and Roll20 for our table top. Our Dm is a newer Dm so please have patience and understanding.
Lastly, we are looking for a player that will be respectful of the other people at the table. we are an LGBTQ+ friendly group and everyone is welcome. The group does not tolerate racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia or any other forms of bigotry and attacks on others will not be tolerated. Just be a nice and respectful human being.
If you are interested in joining us, please fill out this application form https://forms.gle/KViMojpt5zMjxBxS6
If you have any questions or anything I've missed out let me know in the comments and ill do my best to answer.
submitted by Kurai7Hakari to lfg [link] [comments]
It is a 5e Homebrew world
Premise
Dear adventurers,
We will start our journey in the lands of Equanox
These lands are barren and vast, not many venture further than they need to. No one would want to pay the price for traveling in the immense heat of the deserts unless they are truly prepared for it.
Forests, vast fields of grass, and water are rare, and always fought over. Yet people here found peace, in their own cities or so it seemed. In Equanox, they call them cities, but they are as large as kingdoms to sustain the people living within the protective walls and barriers made of magic.
Magic is treasured, it is also as rare. And any city that is able to obtain a magic user is a lucky one. After all, only because of this magic are they able to comfortably live away from the never-ending, scorching heat. Where no night comes and people live from Dusk to Dawn with daylight never fading. There is only the sun in the sky, no stars, no moon. And many don't know that there could be more to the sky.
In Equanox there are seven deserts:
Auri desert
Oreen desert
Myrth desert
Sall desert
Dunes of Daron
Null or Rocky desert
Raft desert
To cross the smallest desert with a mount, it takes around half a month varying on what kind of mount it is and almost a full one on foot. [Do note the number of recourses to do that is really difficult to get. But passing strangers might take you to a place for a reasonable amount of gold.]
There are three main cities. Echos, Quan-Ma, and Goron.
There are also larger or smaller towns in their territories. They are important enough to be on the map but are by no means considered to be kingdom cities like the 3 main ones. But they are crucial to their lifeline, they bring in materials, and trade to these 3 cities. And through them, all work in unity to bring all to the capital which is not easy to enter and not many can even lay their eyes upon it.
[From normal terms Capital is something like an empire but it does not rule over all the land of Equanox, there are cities under the capital but they have their own rulers just like kingdoms do, and in their respected territory lies the stopping points that are known through the whole Equanox and without them it would be impossible to travel through the deserts. And no matter what size, they are towns. What one records on the map is what is deemed important which would be the capital, cities, and towns. Everything else is an uncharted territory.
There are also Race restrictions and most homebrew is generally not allowed but if you do have any homebrew ideas run it through the DM first.
Races within the world:
Most common ones:
Human
Tiefling
Dwarf
Halfling
Gnome
Rarley seen:
Dragonborn (here known as drake folk)
Elf (Sun or Gold elves, Wood or Emerald elves and Blue or Sapphire elves)
Half-elf
Half-orc
Satyr
Very rare:
Yuan-ti
Leonin
Lizardfolk
Deep gnome
Duergar
Drow (Purple Elves, Amethyst) (edited)
Players will be starting at level 1 and again i want to mention that the campaign will have a strong element of roleplaying so if you prefer heavy combat and a constant a dungeon crawl this may not be for you. That doesn't mean combat isn't involved. when creating a player do think of a backstory as you backstory will eventually tie into the campaign to, we're all laid back and joke around and sometimes break character, we're all here to have fun in sessions and out of sessions too. Player 1 - Half-elf paladin Player 2 - Dragonborn Cleric Player 3 - Yuan-ti artificer
There are three players and you will be our 4th and final of our group. we are all in our 20s so ideally we would like to find a player that is close to our age group. We use Discord for voice and Roll20 for our table top. Our Dm is a newer Dm so please have patience and understanding.
Lastly, we are looking for a player that will be respectful of the other people at the table. we are an LGBTQ+ friendly group and everyone is welcome. The group does not tolerate racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia or any other forms of bigotry and attacks on others will not be tolerated. Just be a nice and respectful human being.
If you are interested in joining us, please fill out this application form https://forms.gle/KViMojpt5zMjxBxS6
If you have any questions or anything I've missed out let me know in the comments and ill do my best to answer.
2024.05.21 18:29 Korae 88% Winrate to Mythic - I love my Big Black Deck (necropotence is bad)
 | The DeckMoxfield Link to the decklist: https://www.moxfield.com/decks/OsszAWZ8aEumTmqFC-kJxQhttps://preview.redd.it/652pxlyais1d1.png?width=1912&format=png&auto=webp&s=44299f4e05f67e18f1bc819b06d8c24c1d557bd6 https://preview.redd.it/o3l9mx83is1d1.png?width=320&format=png&auto=webp&s=dd2f538e176117404c679bb3d0730ddae4678ad4 Recently, I went on a 30-4 TEAR with mono-black to mythic. Today I'll be providing a write-up on the deck and my thoughts on it so that other members of the community can have a go at playing it. I personally think that dark ritual and reanimate are two of the best cards in the format, and that black also has the best interaction in the format, so I've spent a lot of time tinkering with Bx or mono-B lists since OTJ dropped. I spent a lot of time trying to make a necropotence build work, until I tried this sheoldred + ring build and saw amazing results. Yes, there's some crazy amount of luck here. An 88% winrate can't last forever. 34 games in an online ladder is almost nothing at the end of the day. But I do want to share the deck, as I'd love to see the community refine and improve this list. Necropotence is worse than The One RingI really do think that this build is superior to Necropotence builds (see my first idea for this deck running necro+some devotion cards https://www.moxfield.com/decks/IEB_vC54_EOgmckgg3vzAQ ). Necropotence is a very punishing card in this format, and I really don't think its as broken as other people think. In Timeless, Necropotence is balanced by its sharp draw-backs and the high power level of the format. I think that The One Ring is a superior source of card advantage because it provides you protection for a turn, it can mitigate its own downside via the legend rule, and it can pair incredibly well with Sheoldred to stabilize and play the long game. Necropotence, on the other hand, does nothing in multiples (besides providing devotion), completely locks you out of the game if your opponent plays a pithing needle, cannot remove itself via the legend rule when you don't need more card advantage, and can't overcome its own life-loss with Sheoldred (you need to play a bad card like March and hemorrhage card advantage to make up for the life loss here).As a quick example, I had a game against a primeval titan player where I wasn't able to sufficiently disrupt them, and they turbo'd out a prime time early. My plan was to turbo a turn 2 Sheoldred, but that's still a losing position by itself against the Primeval Titan nut draw. They had an overwhelming board of zombies that would have killed me on the next attack step, and at any moment they could topdeck Natural Order for hoof. I only had a Sheoldred in play and 4 mana available to me, but I get lucky and top-deck a Ring, buying me a turn and gaining life with Sheoldred. After drawing 3 cards with the ring and drawing for turn, I find another ring, and legend rule it for protection again. I draw more cards, another ring, legend rule it again. Opponent died to my Sheoldred triggers and Deathrite Shaman activations before they could even make another attack. A necropotence deck would not win in this situation without playing a suboptimal storm-based win condition like Beseech the Mirror + Tendrils. Common Turn 1/2 Play-PatternsI'd like to go over every card inclusion in the deck individually, but first I'd like to first highlight some of the most busted play patterns that will win you games for context. I love this deck because I can have a broken turn 1/2, it can interact with your opponent very well, and it can also grind with the ring. I really think you should mulligan once to try and get an opening hand with a Dark Ritual or a Reanimate if you don't see these cards in your opening 7.
Individual CardsLets go over every card and why I believe it belongs in the deck:
TLDRDark Ritual is busted. You should try this deck and win some games with it. If we all work together, I'm pretty sure we can get Dark Ritual and/or Grief restricted by the end of the summer :^) |
2024.05.21 18:28 BleepBlimpBop $RILY DD: Long List of Short Seller Claims --- DEBUNKED with proof!
Ever-shifting Short Seller Claims
The short sellers attacking RILY in 2023-2024 have been relentless, with an ever-shifting list of wild accusations.It's sickening to watch them compile a never-ending list of baseless wild theories and claims to support their short positions, which are demonstrably false. But as each is proved false, they pivot to new claims, and/or change the goalposts.
The sheer volume of shifting claims makes it hard to track how despotic they are with their "platform," and how many falsehoods they've spun. Even for someone who watched it in real-time, for almost a year
Compiled & Debunked
Sunlight kills vampires. To that end, I've compiled a list of (i) claimants (ii) claims (iii) reality (iv) definitive source proving reality.Why Did They Target RILY?
One of the most vocal short sellers, Nate Koppikar (who also introduced Marc Cohodes to the "opportunity") has a fund Orso Partners. Based on their SEC registration document, this is their investment thesis:"The Account’s investment objectives are to achieve capital appreciation primarily by identifying and selling short marketable equity securities of underfollowed and complex companies with misleading or corrective disclosures through a research-intensive process. The Account employs a short-biased investment strategy with an emphasis on primarily small to mid-cap companies that are underfollowed and complex (i.e., companies with market capitalizations of less than $5 billion which the market does not yet have a wellformed bull and/or bear perspective)."
RILY fits their description. The icing on the cake was the relatively large market cap, and the relatively small float. Given extremely high insider ownership (32.9% of shares per the proxy), and limitations on when and how insiders can trade, the "free float" of the stock (i.e., the shares that regularly trade) is very small for the size of the company. Moreover, the setup would only get better - given insiders have consistently used their free cash to buy additional shares hand-over-fist (further reducing the float).
That meant, with relatively small amounts of capital, the short sellers could shove around the stock price. That ability to move price opens another profit avenue - taking large derivative positions (buying puts, and selling calls), and shoving the price (or allowing it to drift up) to profit all along the way. It looked so good, the stock has been the highest-shorted on the US indices for several months. Even after the release of the 10-K, shares remain "hard to borrow" with elevated borrow fees.
Debunked Claims
The claims made by vocal short sellers could fill a book. Most were outrageous and fanciful when they were proposed. Virtually all have objectively debunked. This isn't a comprehensive list, as their claims are too numerous and varied. But it paints an illuminating picture.With a track record this poor, one would expect the short sellers to exit - rather than continuing to spin new narratives. Perhaps the continued attacks are their exit strategy to avoid bankruptcy... Well, #Bullish.
With the highest short interest of all US stocks (albeit likely decreased from the highs of ~76% of the float), I think this is more than ripe for a return to fair value - or well above, if a short squeeze occurs.
Note that the list below deliberately excludes three types of posts/claims from the short sellers:
A) Juvenile personal attacks and attempts to character assassinate and dox a long list of people (RILY CEO, RILY new hires, RILY clients, Marcum the auditor, Marcum's lead audit professional, any firm or individual publicly posting a bull thesis on RILY, etc.).
B) Those that make no objective claims, but simply exist as a product of malicious degeneracy (like pictures of roasted pigs in ovens labeled Bryant Riley the CEO, photoshopped pictures of the CEO in prison chains next to convicted felons, video of an obese woman barely able to walk being gored by a bull labeled Mrs. Riley the CEO's wife, etc.).
C) Those that are impossible for short sellers to know, and impossible to objectively verify (e.g., Marc Cohodes claiming a single RILY trader front runs the CEOs personal short trades in front of clients taking following the firm's bullish advice on those stocks, to guarantee profits).
| Claimant | Claim | Reality |
|---|---|---|
| 1) Wolfpack | Wolfpack “RILY will record investment losses of up to ~$700 million in 2023” FALSE 10-K | FALSE |
| 2) Wolfpack | “new loan to CORZQ will work out just as badly as the last and end in default (again) before June 2023” | FALSE Repaid in full, early, on 1/6/2024. |
| 3) Wolfpack | “The coupon rate on RILY’s seven issues of baby bonds ranges from 5% to 6.75%, which we believe to be far too low to compensate investors for the existential risk that accompanies these securities.” | FALSE Full redemption of May 2024 came early. Far more than sufficient cash to cover debt payments. |
| 4) Wolfpack | “According to our analysis, 4 of RILY’s largest 7 corporate borrowers with outstanding loan balances of $295.3 million are at a high risk of default, or in the case of CORZQ, is already in default.” | FALSE a. Core Scientific Inc. repaid early and in full ($111MM of the “risk”) b. Exela Technologies repaid term loan in full ($55.8MM of the “risk”) c. Arena Group Holdings debt retired in full ($99MM of the “risk”). Publicly disclosed in the most recent 10-K for each company (search for "Riley" in the filing) |
| 5) Wolfpack | “RILY’s NAV is Far Below the $1.1 Billion Minimum NAV Requirement That Is Required for the Nomura Credit Agreement Putting RILY at Risk of Collapse in 2023” | FALSE RILY is in full compliance with the Nomura credit agreement. Moreover, reflecting the strength of the relationship, Nomura even granted a no-fee extension when the 10-K filing was delayed. Also see 10-K for current status. |
| 6) Wolfpack | “Over $200 Million of the Goodwill and Intangible Assets on RILY’s Balance Sheet is Attributable to its Telecom Rollup, which is Centered on Dial-up and DSL Internet:” - criticizing them as dying businesses with no value | FALSE Segment is extremely valuable. From just 2020 to 2023, the communications segment has returned over $212.2MM in adjusted EBITDA. |
| 7) Nate Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear) + Bill Abbate Jr. (JrAbbate), Various | RILY committed fraud with loans and closing the FRG acquisition. "The fact $RILY closed the FRG deal while hiding the Kahn loan - an all PIK defaulted loan backed by $FRG shares - is a Hall of Fame worthy act of fraud. I thought after Enron/Sarbox we couldn't have something like this happen in US markets." | FALSE A law firm led an internal investigation, and an independent external investigation both found “The review confirmed what the Company previously disclosed: that the Company and its executives, including Bryant Riley, had no involvement with, or knowledge of, any of the alleged misconduct concerning Prophecy.” “The results of the independent investigation confirmed that the Company and its executives had no involvement with, or knowledge of, any of the alleged misconduct concerning Mr. Kahn or any of his affiliates. This independent investigation was conducted subsequent to the Company's February 22, 2024 disclosure of the internal review performed with the assistance of Sullivan & Cromwell LLP as outside counsel.” Also see 10-K |
| 8) Marc Cohodes (AlderlaneEggs), ParrotCapital, Bill Abbate Jr. (JrAbbate), Various | The 10-K will never be filed. They can't produce audited financials. | FALSE Audited 10-K was filed. Delay was due to Audit committee fulfilling its responsibilities and proactively conducting investigations (internal and external). |
| 9) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs) + Nate Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear) + Bill Abbate Jr. (JrAbbate) + ParrotCapital | Sullivan and Cromwell knew about Massive Fraud, and did a "sham investigation" | FALSE Sullivan and Cromwell is one of the most respected law firms, in the US and worldwide. "Sullivan & Cromwell continues to lead all law firm advisers in announced and completed global deals in 2023, according to Bloomberg and LSEG. The Firm advised on global announced deals totaling more than $345 billion, representing a 12.1 percent market share, per Bloomberg, and on completed global deals totaling more than $431 billion, representing a 16.9 percent market share, per LSEG." They're not compromising themselves for a relatively small client. |
| 10) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs), Nate Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear), Bill Abbate Jr. (JrAbbate), Parrot Capital | Marcum is enabling Massive Fraud | FALSE Marcum is a respected audit firm, and 13th largest by revenue. "Marcum LLP advanced into the Top 15 in the 2023 Vault Accounting list of top-ranked accounting firms. Marcum climbed six levels to the No. 13 ranking overall and earned a ranking of 14 in prestige. The Firm also won Top 20 rankings across all Practice Area, Quality of Life, and Diversity categories, including several new classifications added this year." |
| 11) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs) | Nomura is enabling Massive Fraud | FALSE Nomura is a global financial services company, and the oldest brokerage firm in Japan. They operate in a highly regulated industry. They're not putting themselves on the line for a relatively small client. |
| 12) Parrot Capital | "The list of $RILY enablers is massive: Marcum LLP, Sullivan and Cromwell, Seeking Alpha, Holbrook Holdings, $AX Axos Bank, Many, many more." | FALSE There's no global conspiracy whereby these companies - all respected law firms, auditors, banks, and media outlets - are collectively colluding to enable RILY to commit fraud. Requires only two brain cells and one functioning synapse to know there's no grand collusion cabal between these disparate companies. |
| 13) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs), Jonathan Weil at WSJ | Franchise Group shares used to secure Kahn loan: "It is unclear whether Kahn pledged the same shares twice—to both Prophecy and B. Riley." | FALSE As stated by the company, Simple UCC search disproves this. UCC # 202302295747 |
| 14) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs) | “Bryant Riley is on the Road, telling people the ‘audit partner at Marcum left’ and that ‘I have made mistakes’ “ | FALSE Marcum audit partner was working on the audit the whole time; the original audit partner had hit the 5yr SEC rule, so he was never working on this year’s audit. |
| 15) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs) | "So it turns out James La Rocca was Fired by MarcumLLP If nothing was wrong with prior $RILY Audits, why is he gone? This will be great in discovery of what exactly went on. | FALSE Marcum audit partner was working on the audit the whole time; the original audit partner had hit the 5yr SEC rule, so he was never working on this year’s audit. |
| 16) Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear) | “So Bryant Riley did disseminate MNPI back in March” in response to Cohodes claim that he told people the Marcum partner left | FALSE Cohodes claimed Bryant Riley was telling people the Marcum auditor left. Koppikar called that disseminating MNPI. Cohodes statement was false (and thus Koppikar's derivate claim is also false). A different auditor worked on RILY, as Marcum follows the SEC rules; the lead auditor can only serve the client for 5 consecutive years. As such, Koppikar’s derivative claim of disseminating MNPI is false. |
| 17) Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear) | “He appears to still not be familiar with the voting interest model of consolidation… why is a life science and tech partner signing an extremely complex investment company / broker dealer audit ???” i.e., auditor is unqualified | FALSE The auditor is fully qualified. Marcum is a highly respected auditor; they don't hire unqualified people, or assign them to clients they're unqualified to audit. RILY is continuing to use Marcum as the 2024 auditor. |
| 18) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs) | "Now that the $RILY dividend is going away, this omission is serious stuff" | FALSE The dividend did not go away. It was reduced from $1.00/share to $0.50/share, to allow them to opportunistically allocate capital. 23Q4 and 24Q1 |
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2024.05.21 18:23 BleepBlimpBop $RILY: Long List of Short Seller Claims --- DEBUNKED
Ever-shifting Short Seller Claims
The short sellers attacking RILY in 2023-2024 have been relentless, with an ever-shifting list of wild accusations.It's sickening to watch them compile a never-ending list of baseless wild theories and claims to support their short positions, which are demonstrably false. But as each is proved false, they pivot to new claims, and/or change the goalposts.
The sheer volume of shifting claims makes it hard to track how despotic they are with their "platform," and how many falsehoods they've spun. Even for someone who watched it in real-time, for almost a year
Compiled & Debunked
Sunlight kills vampires. To that end, I've compiled a list of (i) claimants (ii) claims (iii) reality (iv) definitive source proving reality.Why Did They Target RILY?
One of the most vocal short sellers, Nate Koppikar (who also introduced Marc Cohodes to the "opportunity") has a fund Orso Partners. Based on their SEC registration document, this is their investment thesis:"The Account’s investment objectives are to achieve capital appreciation primarily by identifying and selling short marketable equity securities of underfollowed and complex companies with misleading or corrective disclosures through a research-intensive process. The Account employs a short-biased investment strategy with an emphasis on primarily small to mid-cap companies that are underfollowed and complex (i.e., companies with market capitalizations of less than $5 billion which the market does not yet have a wellformed bull and/or bear perspective)."
RILY fits their description. The icing on the cake was the relatively large market cap, and the relatively small float. Given extremely high insider ownership (32.9% of shares per the proxy), and limitations on when and how insiders can trade, the "free float" of the stock (i.e., the shares that regularly trade) is very small for the size of the company. Moreover, the setup would only get better - given insiders have consistently used their free cash to buy additional shares hand-over-fist (further reducing the float).
That meant, with relatively small amounts of capital, the short sellers could shove around the stock price. That ability to move price opens another profit avenue - taking large derivative positions (buying puts, and selling calls), and shoving the price (or allowing it to drift up) to profit all along the way. It looked so good, the stock has been the highest-shorted on the US indices for several months. Even after the release of the 10-K, shares remain "hard to borrow" with elevated borrow fees.
Debunked Claims
The claims made by vocal short sellers could fill a book. Most were outrageous and fanciful when they were proposed. Virtually all have objectively debunked. This isn't a comprehensive list, as their claims are too numerous and varied. But it paints an illuminating picture.With a track record this poor, one would expect the short sellers to exit - rather than continuing to spin new narratives. Perhaps the continued attacks are their exit strategy to avoid bankruptcy... Well, #Bullish.
With the highest short interest of all US stocks (albeit likely decreased from the highs of ~76% of the float), I think this is more than ripe for a return to fair value - or well above, if a short squeeze occurs.
Note that the list below deliberately excludes three types of posts/claims from the short sellers:
A) Juvenile personal attacks and attempts to character assassinate and dox a long list of people (RILY CEO, RILY new hires, RILY clients, Marcum the auditor, Marcum's lead audit professional, any firm or individual publicly posting a bull thesis on RILY, etc.).
B) Those that make no objective claims, but simply exist as a product of malicious degeneracy (like pictures of roasted pigs in ovens labeled Bryant Riley the CEO, photoshopped pictures of the CEO in prison chains next to convicted felons, video of an obese woman barely able to walk being gored by a bull labeled Mrs. Riley the CEO's wife, etc.).
C) Those that are impossible for short sellers to know, and impossible to objectively verify (e.g., Marc Cohodes claiming a single RILY trader front runs the CEOs personal short trades in front of clients taking following the firm's bullish advice on those stocks, to guarantee profits).
| Claimant | Claim | Reality |
|---|---|---|
| 1) Wolfpack | Wolfpack “RILY will record investment losses of up to ~$700 million in 2023” FALSE 10-K | FALSE |
| 2) Wolfpack | “new loan to CORZQ will work out just as badly as the last and end in default (again) before June 2023” | FALSE Repaid in full, early, on 1/6/2024. |
| 3) Wolfpack | “The coupon rate on RILY’s seven issues of baby bonds ranges from 5% to 6.75%, which we believe to be far too low to compensate investors for the existential risk that accompanies these securities.” | FALSE Full redemption of May 2024 came early. Far more than sufficient cash to cover debt payments. |
| 4) Wolfpack | “According to our analysis, 4 of RILY’s largest 7 corporate borrowers with outstanding loan balances of $295.3 million are at a high risk of default, or in the case of CORZQ, is already in default.” | FALSE a. Core Scientific Inc. repaid early and in full ($111MM of the “risk”) b. Exela Technologies repaid term loan in full ($55.8MM of the “risk”) c. Arena Group Holdings debt retired in full ($99MM of the “risk”). Publicly disclosed in the most recent 10-K for each company (search for "Riley" in the filing) |
| 5) Wolfpack | “RILY’s NAV is Far Below the $1.1 Billion Minimum NAV Requirement That Is Required for the Nomura Credit Agreement Putting RILY at Risk of Collapse in 2023” | FALSE RILY is in full compliance with the Nomura credit agreement. Moreover, reflecting the strength of the relationship, Nomura even granted a no-fee extension when the 10-K filing was delayed. Also see 10-K for current status. |
| 6) Wolfpack | “Over $200 Million of the Goodwill and Intangible Assets on RILY’s Balance Sheet is Attributable to its Telecom Rollup, which is Centered on Dial-up and DSL Internet:” - criticizing them as dying businesses with no value | FALSE Segment is extremely valuable. From just 2020 to 2023, the communications segment has returned over $212.2MM in adjusted EBITDA. |
| 7) Nate Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear) + Bill Abbate Jr. (JrAbbate), Various | RILY committed fraud with loans and closing the FRG acquisition. "The fact $RILY closed the FRG deal while hiding the Kahn loan - an all PIK defaulted loan backed by $FRG shares - is a Hall of Fame worthy act of fraud. I thought after Enron/Sarbox we couldn't have something like this happen in US markets." | FALSE A law firm led an internal investigation, and an independent external investigation both found “The review confirmed what the Company previously disclosed: that the Company and its executives, including Bryant Riley, had no involvement with, or knowledge of, any of the alleged misconduct concerning Prophecy.” “The results of the independent investigation confirmed that the Company and its executives had no involvement with, or knowledge of, any of the alleged misconduct concerning Mr. Kahn or any of his affiliates. This independent investigation was conducted subsequent to the Company's February 22, 2024 disclosure of the internal review performed with the assistance of Sullivan & Cromwell LLP as outside counsel.” Also see 10-K |
| 8) Marc Cohodes (AlderlaneEggs), ParrotCapital, Bill Abbate Jr. (JrAbbate), Various | The 10-K will never be filed. They can't produce audited financials. | FALSE Audited 10-K was filed. Delay was due to Audit committee fulfilling its responsibilities and proactively conducting investigations (internal and external). |
| 9) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs) + Nate Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear) + Bill Abbate Jr. (JrAbbate) + ParrotCapital | Sullivan and Cromwell knew about Massive Fraud, and did a "sham investigation" | FALSE Sullivan and Cromwell is one of the most respected law firms, in the US and worldwide. "Sullivan & Cromwell continues to lead all law firm advisers in announced and completed global deals in 2023, according to Bloomberg and LSEG. The Firm advised on global announced deals totaling more than $345 billion, representing a 12.1 percent market share, per Bloomberg, and on completed global deals totaling more than $431 billion, representing a 16.9 percent market share, per LSEG." They're not compromising themselves for a relatively small client. |
| 10) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs), Nate Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear), Bill Abbate Jr. (JrAbbate), Parrot Capital | Marcum is enabling Massive Fraud | FALSE Marcum is a respected audit firm, and 13th largest by revenue. "Marcum LLP advanced into the Top 15 in the 2023 Vault Accounting list of top-ranked accounting firms. Marcum climbed six levels to the No. 13 ranking overall and earned a ranking of 14 in prestige. The Firm also won Top 20 rankings across all Practice Area, Quality of Life, and Diversity categories, including several new classifications added this year." |
| 11) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs) | Nomura is enabling Massive Fraud | FALSE Nomura is a global financial services company, and the oldest brokerage firm in Japan. They operate in a highly regulated industry. They're not putting themselves on the line for a relatively small client. |
| 12) Parrot Capital | "The list of $RILY enablers is massive: Marcum LLP, Sullivan and Cromwell, Seeking Alpha, Holbrook Holdings, $AX Axos Bank, Many, many more." | FALSE There's no global conspiracy whereby these companies - all respected law firms, auditors, banks, and media outlets - are collectively colluding to enable RILY to commit fraud. Requires only two brain cells and one functioning synapse to know there's no grand collusion cabal between these disparate companies. |
| 13) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs), Jonathan Weil at WSJ | Franchise Group shares used to secure Kahn loan: "It is unclear whether Kahn pledged the same shares twice—to both Prophecy and B. Riley." | FALSE As stated by the company, Simple UCC search disproves this. UCC # 202302295747 |
| 14) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs) | “Bryant Riley is on the Road, telling people the ‘audit partner at Marcum left’ and that ‘I have made mistakes’ “ | FALSE Marcum audit partner was working on the audit the whole time; the original audit partner had hit the 5yr SEC rule, so he was never working on this year’s audit. |
| 15) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs) | "So it turns out James La Rocca was Fired by MarcumLLP If nothing was wrong with prior $RILY Audits, why is he gone? This will be great in discovery of what exactly went on. | FALSE Marcum audit partner was working on the audit the whole time; the original audit partner had hit the 5yr SEC rule, so he was never working on this year’s audit. |
| 16) Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear) | “So Bryant Riley did disseminate MNPI back in March” in response to Cohodes claim that he told people the Marcum partner left | FALSE Cohodes claimed Bryant Riley was telling people the Marcum auditor left. Koppikar called that disseminating MNPI. Cohodes statement was false (and thus Koppikar's derivate claim is also false). A different auditor worked on RILY, as Marcum follows the SEC rules; the lead auditor can only serve the client for 5 consecutive years. As such, Koppikar’s derivative claim of disseminating MNPI is false. |
| 17) Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear) | “He appears to still not be familiar with the voting interest model of consolidation… why is a life science and tech partner signing an extremely complex investment company / broker dealer audit ???” i.e., auditor is unqualified | FALSE The auditor is fully qualified. Marcum is a highly respected auditor; they don't hire unqualified people, or assign them to clients they're unqualified to audit. RILY is continuing to use Marcum as the 2024 auditor. |
| 18) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs) | "Now that the $RILY dividend is going away, this omission is serious stuff" | FALSE The dividend did not go away. It was reduced from $1.00/share to $0.50/share, to allow them to opportunistically allocate capital. 23Q4 and 24Q1 |
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2024.05.21 18:22 IllustriousAd5860 My friend and I ended our friendship 2.5 years ago and I need advice
I’m going to start this post by saying that I already know that I messed regarding the biggest issue at hand here, so please don’t lose sight of the question I am really trying to ask. What happened already happened and as much as I’d like to re-do things, I can’t.
I (f25) and my friend of nearly a decade (f26) at the time have always been very different. We had multiple periods in junior high of not talking for a few days/weeks. As we went to different colleges we stayed generally in touch but I think she always felt a little closer to me than I did to her. (I’m autistic and struggle sometimes to feel genuinely close to people and form strong bonds). But regardless we were pretty close for the most part.
As we got into our 20’s our lifestyles became very different and I felt that there was more space than usual but that it was a natural growing apart that tends to happen. But I was always there for her if she needed somebody to talk to and we still saw each other a few times a year. In 2021 I went on vacation after a rough breakup and expressed to my family and friends that apart from the friend I was going on vacation with, I did not plan on having any socialization for the week I would be gone.
As soon as the plane landed and I got settled into our sleeping arrangement for the night I get messages from this friend that she is struggling with her mental health. I am worried by her messages and afraid she may hurt herself. The friend I went on the trip with who is sitting right in front of me is having a full blown panic attack about her relationship trauma that is going on currently. I try to console both of them, one in person and one via Snapchat messages. My friend who I am concerned with hurting herself stops replying to me so I text her roommate to check on her, she says she is there with her and assures me she will make sure she is okay.
Eventually everybody calms down, I continue with my trip and as I had stated, I don’t talk to anybody except the girl I am with.
After I get back in town, my decade long friend calls me very upset that it didn’t seem like I cared about her mental health crisis. I tried to explain the situation. But she brought up how I had been distancing myself the months prior and how she really needed somebody and counted on me but I didn’t show up for her. I regret not calling her, and haven’t talked to her since that phone call.
I have also fought with myself about never explaining why I distanced myself to her and pondered if I should reach out and talk to her. At this point I feel too much time has passed and that her and I both will be best off if I don’t reach out. I definitely don’t want to reach out and have her get the impression that I’m just trying to “clear my conscious” and that I don’t care about her.
I also don’t see a situation in which we would become friends again personally. We are truly such different people and don’t align on a lot of basic principles of life. But if you were her in this situation would you want an explanation after all this time? Or would you just tell me to F off?
We still follow each other on social media so she can’t hate me too much, but she also could still want nothing to do with me. It’s just felt like a very unclosed chapter to my life, I don’t want to selfishly reach out though because at this point I need to consider her feelings more. I could get into more details about why I don’t think we would be friends but this has already gotten quite long
submitted by IllustriousAd5860 to Advice [link] [comments]
I (f25) and my friend of nearly a decade (f26) at the time have always been very different. We had multiple periods in junior high of not talking for a few days/weeks. As we went to different colleges we stayed generally in touch but I think she always felt a little closer to me than I did to her. (I’m autistic and struggle sometimes to feel genuinely close to people and form strong bonds). But regardless we were pretty close for the most part.
As we got into our 20’s our lifestyles became very different and I felt that there was more space than usual but that it was a natural growing apart that tends to happen. But I was always there for her if she needed somebody to talk to and we still saw each other a few times a year. In 2021 I went on vacation after a rough breakup and expressed to my family and friends that apart from the friend I was going on vacation with, I did not plan on having any socialization for the week I would be gone.
As soon as the plane landed and I got settled into our sleeping arrangement for the night I get messages from this friend that she is struggling with her mental health. I am worried by her messages and afraid she may hurt herself. The friend I went on the trip with who is sitting right in front of me is having a full blown panic attack about her relationship trauma that is going on currently. I try to console both of them, one in person and one via Snapchat messages. My friend who I am concerned with hurting herself stops replying to me so I text her roommate to check on her, she says she is there with her and assures me she will make sure she is okay.
Eventually everybody calms down, I continue with my trip and as I had stated, I don’t talk to anybody except the girl I am with.
After I get back in town, my decade long friend calls me very upset that it didn’t seem like I cared about her mental health crisis. I tried to explain the situation. But she brought up how I had been distancing myself the months prior and how she really needed somebody and counted on me but I didn’t show up for her. I regret not calling her, and haven’t talked to her since that phone call.
I have also fought with myself about never explaining why I distanced myself to her and pondered if I should reach out and talk to her. At this point I feel too much time has passed and that her and I both will be best off if I don’t reach out. I definitely don’t want to reach out and have her get the impression that I’m just trying to “clear my conscious” and that I don’t care about her.
I also don’t see a situation in which we would become friends again personally. We are truly such different people and don’t align on a lot of basic principles of life. But if you were her in this situation would you want an explanation after all this time? Or would you just tell me to F off?
We still follow each other on social media so she can’t hate me too much, but she also could still want nothing to do with me. It’s just felt like a very unclosed chapter to my life, I don’t want to selfishly reach out though because at this point I need to consider her feelings more. I could get into more details about why I don’t think we would be friends but this has already gotten quite long
2024.05.21 18:07 redditrisi Which nations do you mean by "the West?"
Posters, commentators and others refer to "the West," as though there were a tacit, universal agreement as to which nations comprise "the West." Is there, though?
https://www.worldatlas.com/articles/list-of-western-countries.html
The US is part of "the West." Is Canada? Is Mexico? Is Guyana? Is Chile?
England and France are part of "the West." Is Spain, which sometimes diverges from them politically? Is Italy? What about Portugal? Greece? Turkey? Is all of Europe "the West" until it becomes the Middle East?
What about Scandinavian countries? Are they all the West?
I have no particular reason for asking. I just started wondering.
submitted by redditrisi to WayOfTheBern [link] [comments]
https://www.worldatlas.com/articles/list-of-western-countries.html
The US is part of "the West." Is Canada? Is Mexico? Is Guyana? Is Chile?
England and France are part of "the West." Is Spain, which sometimes diverges from them politically? Is Italy? What about Portugal? Greece? Turkey? Is all of Europe "the West" until it becomes the Middle East?
What about Scandinavian countries? Are they all the West?
I have no particular reason for asking. I just started wondering.
2024.05.21 18:03 iAmScallywag [Online][5e][Wednesday 7pm CST][LBGTQ+ Friendly] Players Wanted for Short Campaign in Homebrew World
Hi! First and foremost, thanks for your interest and I apologize in advance for how long this is, I like to be thorough. I want to start this off with some important things regarding playing at my digital table. My games are all inclusive both OOC and IC, that means both the players and the inhabitants of the game world will be varied. There will be cultural and ethnic diversity, there will be people with physical disabilities, there will be LBGTQ+ characters, the game may very well (see: likely) explore mental health, gender identity, and any number of things. My games are a safe place and I take that promise very seriously. I cannot stress this enough; bigotry of any kind will not be tolerated. There won’t be a warning, there won’t be a compromise, you’ll be out of the game, period. If you can’t manage this, then please save everyone some time and just don’t read further.
Now with that said, let’s discuss the beautiful game of D&D and this campaign and how I DM my games. My games are presented less as a static sequence of events and more of threads in the world that can be followed in any order. In a shorter campaign like this one there has to be a little more structure than a longer campaign, but this is not a railroad. Whatever ending we find to this campaign, we will find it together. Whether that’s the traditional fight the BBEG, talk them down, or join their side and plunge the world into chaos, it’s all on the table.
This campaign is set in the homebrew world that I have created and in truth I am using the campaign to explore individual parts of the world and hopefully expand upon the lore, add new NPCs, sure up any shortcomings, etc. Not because I’m publishing an adventure or anything, just because I really enjoy worldbuilding and having player choices affect the world going forward.
I like to incorporate backstories into the plot, I want everyone to have a chance to really feel a part of the story, not just along for the ride. This is also limited in a shorter campaign like this, but we can work together to give you something to identify with in this world. Whether it be directly connected to a figure in your backstory or just incorporating a theme or dynamic that resonates with your character, let’s find a way. If you give me something to work with, I promise I will find a way. This is a collaborative story, let’s create something hauntingly beautiful together.
There will be a session 0 to go over lines and veils, character creation, as well as just getting comfortable with one another. If there is a need for it to go over additional character creation, getting more acquainted with one another, or anything else we can also have a session 0.5. The point is that we are all comfortable when we begin play. Without any further ado, let’s finally get to the campaign details!
Campaign: Homebrew
System: D&D 5e
Players Needed: I already have some players, looking for 3-4 more.
Ratio: My games tend to lean more towards the RP heavy side of things though I do mix in combat. There are very few potential combat encounters that can't be solved in another way via talking, parlaying, or creativity. The amount of combat is dependent on the group as a whole. I would say in terms of planned potential combat that it will be a 60:40 or even 70:30 lean towards RP.
Scheduling: Bi-Weekly Wednesday 7pm-11pm CST, for 6-12 sessions. There is a chance this goes longer depending on RP, but I believe it will fit into 12 sessions. There’s no hard start date, just when we get the right players we will start scheduling, but it will be within a few weeks.
Software: Discord for voice, Foundry for VTT, D&D Beyond for character creation.
Our story, however, begins in the lands of Morroch, born after the splitting of the worlds by the World Serpent. It is said that Morroch was a point of direct impact of the World’s Serpent’s bite, leaving behind the most diverse array of biomes on Elysiia, much of it incorporated with serrated mountains and rolling hills. There is much to explore here including the northern region belonging primarily to the Stone Giants of Thulkna who call the Crimson Peaks – given their name because of the reddish color of the soil – home. Let us not forget the western seaboard of the Tilltona Coast, cliff-lined coasts with treacherous waters and frequent storms, home of the Storm Giants of the nation of Salleria.
For this story, we explore the Decayed Heights of the western region of Morroch. A brutal and unforgiving arid desert dominated by three powerful tribes: the Jeswye, renown for their connection to fire and abilities as blacksmiths and warriors; the Sandstriders, Lizardfolk who traverse the vast desert with ease, trading, and maintaining the fragile peace; and the Ironhoof Tribe, fierce warriors who thrive in the storm-battered coastal regions of the Decayed Heights.
Recently, the long-standing tension between the Jeswye and the Ironhoof has escalated to the brink of war, threatening the stability of the entire region and crucial trade routes that allow for safe passage through an otherwise inhospitable region. The campaign will begin in the floating bustling trade city of Vespera, located off the coast of the Decayed Heights. Here the characters have received a request from a representative of the Merchant’s Guild to meet to discuss a lucrative opportunity that is for the betterment of the world.
More world info and campaign info will be given before character creation and upon request (I will never turn down an opportunity to talk about lore and worldbuilding).
Who am I? My players typically call me Hex or simply Chris (he/him)
If the post is not marked closed, I am still reviewing submissions.
https://forms.gle/5E1Qm2ghAU73gNGN8
submitted by iAmScallywag to lfg [link] [comments]
Now with that said, let’s discuss the beautiful game of D&D and this campaign and how I DM my games. My games are presented less as a static sequence of events and more of threads in the world that can be followed in any order. In a shorter campaign like this one there has to be a little more structure than a longer campaign, but this is not a railroad. Whatever ending we find to this campaign, we will find it together. Whether that’s the traditional fight the BBEG, talk them down, or join their side and plunge the world into chaos, it’s all on the table.
This campaign is set in the homebrew world that I have created and in truth I am using the campaign to explore individual parts of the world and hopefully expand upon the lore, add new NPCs, sure up any shortcomings, etc. Not because I’m publishing an adventure or anything, just because I really enjoy worldbuilding and having player choices affect the world going forward.
I like to incorporate backstories into the plot, I want everyone to have a chance to really feel a part of the story, not just along for the ride. This is also limited in a shorter campaign like this, but we can work together to give you something to identify with in this world. Whether it be directly connected to a figure in your backstory or just incorporating a theme or dynamic that resonates with your character, let’s find a way. If you give me something to work with, I promise I will find a way. This is a collaborative story, let’s create something hauntingly beautiful together.
There will be a session 0 to go over lines and veils, character creation, as well as just getting comfortable with one another. If there is a need for it to go over additional character creation, getting more acquainted with one another, or anything else we can also have a session 0.5. The point is that we are all comfortable when we begin play. Without any further ado, let’s finally get to the campaign details!
Campaign: Homebrew
System: D&D 5e
Players Needed: I already have some players, looking for 3-4 more.
Ratio: My games tend to lean more towards the RP heavy side of things though I do mix in combat. There are very few potential combat encounters that can't be solved in another way via talking, parlaying, or creativity. The amount of combat is dependent on the group as a whole. I would say in terms of planned potential combat that it will be a 60:40 or even 70:30 lean towards RP.
Scheduling: Bi-Weekly Wednesday 7pm-11pm CST, for 6-12 sessions. There is a chance this goes longer depending on RP, but I believe it will fit into 12 sessions. There’s no hard start date, just when we get the right players we will start scheduling, but it will be within a few weeks.
Software: Discord for voice, Foundry for VTT, D&D Beyond for character creation.
Character Creation:
- This campaign can work with players starting at level 3 or level 5. It will be decided by a group vote on which we start at. This allows for the characters to have some level of experience and renown but not be adventurers of legend (yet).
- All characters get a free feat. The caveat here is that if you pick a newer background that grants a feat, you don’t get an additional feat.
- Play the character you want, don’t worry about party composition. It’s my job as DM to worry about balancing the game, items, and encounters around party composition.
- Interparty conflict is fine and makes for good RP, deliberately obtuse characters designed for the sole purpose of being antagonistic to the party are not.
- All official content is allowed and most 3rd party content is as well. If you want to use some homebrew content, send it to me so I can review it to ensure it’s balanced.
- We roll for stats. 4d6kh3, drop the full set if under 72 unless you just want to keep them. Rolled in D&D Beyond. I trust my players to not lie about rolls or to try to re-roll 20 times for ideal stats. If I find that I can’t trust you to be honest then we just can’t play together.
Setting:
Welcome to Elysiia, the year is 756 PSC - or Post-Second Cataclysm - and Elysiia is a vibrant planet. Long gone are the days of the Primordials’ dominion over the lands, gone also is the War of Gods, sealed away thousands of years ago. From the ashes of a bygone era has risen a thriving land with many diverse people. From the displaced Feylands of Remcourt - home to fey descendant creatures and prison to incorporeal creatures unfortunate enough to be caught behind it's barrier - to the Flying City of Arigon, floating among the clouds interweaving magic, nature, and technology.Our story, however, begins in the lands of Morroch, born after the splitting of the worlds by the World Serpent. It is said that Morroch was a point of direct impact of the World’s Serpent’s bite, leaving behind the most diverse array of biomes on Elysiia, much of it incorporated with serrated mountains and rolling hills. There is much to explore here including the northern region belonging primarily to the Stone Giants of Thulkna who call the Crimson Peaks – given their name because of the reddish color of the soil – home. Let us not forget the western seaboard of the Tilltona Coast, cliff-lined coasts with treacherous waters and frequent storms, home of the Storm Giants of the nation of Salleria.
For this story, we explore the Decayed Heights of the western region of Morroch. A brutal and unforgiving arid desert dominated by three powerful tribes: the Jeswye, renown for their connection to fire and abilities as blacksmiths and warriors; the Sandstriders, Lizardfolk who traverse the vast desert with ease, trading, and maintaining the fragile peace; and the Ironhoof Tribe, fierce warriors who thrive in the storm-battered coastal regions of the Decayed Heights.
Recently, the long-standing tension between the Jeswye and the Ironhoof has escalated to the brink of war, threatening the stability of the entire region and crucial trade routes that allow for safe passage through an otherwise inhospitable region. The campaign will begin in the floating bustling trade city of Vespera, located off the coast of the Decayed Heights. Here the characters have received a request from a representative of the Merchant’s Guild to meet to discuss a lucrative opportunity that is for the betterment of the world.
More world info and campaign info will be given before character creation and upon request (I will never turn down an opportunity to talk about lore and worldbuilding).
Who am I? My players typically call me Hex or simply Chris (he/him)
- 33
- DMing for 4 years
- I work in tech so I like to try to do cool tech shit with my VTT.
- I’m a power nerd and love a bit of everything. Anime, comics, rp, tech, ttrpg (obviously), video games, writing, wrestling.
- For me D&D is a collaborative storytelling experience. I’m not out to murder your PCs or make things overly difficult for the sake of making you sweat.
- If I had to rate my skillset as a DM I’d say I’m very good at improv and storytelling but I don’t have a huge vocal range so I won’t be mesmerizing you with a unique voice for each NPC. I do what I can.
- These games are designed for me to experiment with technology, new in-game locales, cultures, etc. and as such some aspects are generated on the go or in the case of technology might experience some technical difficulties.
- Rule of cool. Yes the rules have a place, no we won’t be throwing them completely out. But if something is creative and feasible to at least attempt, yeah you can roll for it. If it’s not feasible I won’t even ask for a roll.
If the post is not marked closed, I am still reviewing submissions.
https://forms.gle/5E1Qm2ghAU73gNGN8
2024.05.21 18:03 swingerlover MAGICKAL INFLUENCES AND PRINCIPLES OF HERMETICISM #Astrology #HermeticMagick #HermeticQabalah #Kabbalah #Qabalah
 | Hermeticism means religious and spiritual movement that took place after the Greek victory of Egypt lead by Alexander the Great in 332 BCE. Hermeticism is a term that frequents historical, occult and scholarly texts of all sorts. submitted by swingerlover to occultspells [link] [comments] In a nutshell, the Hermetic movement was a culturally mixed rejoinder to the syncretism of spiritual practices of the day, particularly the ancient Greco-Roman as well as the Egyptian religious systems. Cosmologies, philosophies and magickal practices from the mentioned systems and other blended and mingled, finally forming a unique drift of thought and practice. Actually, Hermeticism is not a “religion” by general definition but is better known as a spiritual and philosophical movement. It is improbable to study the development of mysticism and magic in the Western world without some knowledge of Hermeticism. That is exactly why Pagans, Witches, magicians and occultists can hugely benefit from understanding a bit of the history. Ultimately, it is part of our own holy lineage! The hermetic element includes astrology, alchemy, astronomy, spellcraft, natural magick, mystical philosophy, planetary magick, elemental magick as well as the metaphysical correspondences of incenses, herbs, gemstones, animals, days of the week, and body parts. Many occult and religious movements came up and kept growing, from Hermetic soil and practically all magickal ways have been affected to some extent by Hermeticism. https://preview.redd.it/c7a7kaj26di51.png?width=550&format=png&auto=webp&s=11e06cf50af6c4a449afdbe547824f40b3aea24b The Hermetic Threads
In case the yolk of the Cosmic Egg is completely Positive (evident) Presence, its white or albumen, is similar to the Areas of negative being in the Kabbalistic sense. The Tarot Most occultists hold that the tarot has made its route to Europe from India as they came from Egypt. The studious consent is that the tarot was founded in Italy early 15th Century by the secretary to Filippo Maria Visconti (Marziano da Tortona). Nevertheless, a likely early Egyptian model for the cards, or at least some of their thoughts, has been proposed. The Caduceus Both Hermes and the Hermes Trismegistus are described as having the caduceus wand. Basically, the caduceus is a symbol that was used in ancient Greco-Roman advancement. It is described as a wand bearing a Ketheric light, wings at its top, as well as two snakes, are well curled around the rod. This snake imagery is comparable to the Vedic idea of the kundalini, which is a force of the human energy system expressed as serpents rising around the spine right from the base chakra and to the crown chakra. It is known that the esoteric education of kundalini is most widespread in Shakta Tantric schools of Hinduism. Seven Principles of Hermeticism. The seven principles of Hermeticism as known in new Hermetic thought are of critical concern to the spiritual practitioner due to their weight on the mind, body and spirit relationship. Readers used to the contemporary witchcraft and other magickal practices are likely to appreciate esoteric crossovers in their own philosophical structure. The principles discussed, are quite fit for magickal lives and anyone adopting an emotionally inspired spiritual system. https://preview.redd.it/igcx5t406di51.jpg?width=1195&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3deb4fc8e70ef0f46509cdb3f4c22ca0a98ad16d 1. The Principle of Mentalism All things in actuality and physical being originate from the mental plane. Usually, the mind of humans is a representation of the supreme mind and is the root of all psychic and rational power. The only important thing, in actuality, is the mind- from which everything in existence derives. With time, try actively changing your state of mind to understand how much your personal experience improves. This existential practice needs a lot of perseverance and a lot of practice; however, it can surely help us appreciate the power of thought. 2. The Principle of Correspondence The principle states that as above, so below; as below, so above. This implies that existence is sustained through similar forces, being the source of spiritual mystery. The principles of one thing match with the principles of a different thing meaning that reality works just like a mirror. How should you put this into practice? Get to YouTube and try to watch some videos regarding the cosmos. Have a great time examining the universe, leaving to instill that natural sense of surprise we usually feel like kids. Later, study videos regarding quantum and atoms mechanics. Take into account how the Great above compares with the Great Below. With this, the incredible accomplishments might amaze you! 3. The Principle of Vibration In reality, nothing is physically constant. Everything is vibrating or is a pattern of energy. Since nothing is fixed or static, the only constant changes. Everything is a sign of the Great Mind and the vibration is the basis that anything can live as its “own” separate thing (a river, a book, a thought, etc.) rather than remaining one. To actualize this, get an old chipped cup, vase or plate that is no longer used. With the use of paint or a permanent marker, take the object and outline some of the magickal figures listed here. When you are set, go somewhere that you can release the object, enabling it to shatter. Once it is shattered, do some divination by checking the pieces to find out whether they form any symbol that is psychologically significant to you individually. In addition, think of the reality of transformation as the only constant in existence. https://preview.redd.it/mmapef1y5di51.jpg?width=897&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=19659976e5ed4713e0df4bbe6312859ae1968220 4. The Principle of Polarity In this context, it is known that reality is duality. Just like the principle yin and yang (Taoist principle), this states that everything has its corresponding opposite though is a section of the same unity. Due to the fact that all of existence is polarized, both antithesis and thesis (one thing and its absolute opposite) are concurrently true and untrue— this is a global paradox that levels thoughts of absolutes in any sphere of life. To put this into practice, you should study with a local college or school concerning public debates you may be capable of attending. Contrarily, check some debates online that you may personally feel an unbiased emotional response. Regardless of the type of debate, try to understand each party’s conflicting viewpoints. Is it likely that each party can be both wrong and right concurrently? 5. The Principle of Rhythm Some occurrences like action and reaction, the ascent and descent of the tide of the sea as well as the life cycle of birth and the ultimate death account for the principle of rhythm. It insists that nothing ever lives as one of its polarities though it is always varying. Understanding this, an individual can consciously decide not to fall to one ultimate or another in any field of life. To put this into practice, you need to test the elements. The responsive souls incarnated in a humans frame, we are just at the grace of the elements surrounding us. We need to always be balanced to keep a footing in life. Think of what it would seem or feel to run your finger fast through a candle flame for the sake of finding a threshold for some amount of pain. Also, imagine the methods we human beings harness electricity and fire to improve our lives, and how we need to keep a balance before it turns out as a force that can catch us. Be creative by rehearsing with your thresholds encompassing the components water, air, and earth—simply be careful! 6. The Principle of Cause and Effect The principle states that nothing happens by chance; everything takes place because of something else. You can either decide to act as a social chess piece for others’ desires, whims, conditionings and norms or one can decide to both take power over and individualize their own thoughts, bodies, emotions, actions and experiences. Here, you need to strategically rest in a sacred place and imagine about various seasons in your life where you may have “committed” some energy and could still be connected by an astral string that cuts through space and time. With the use of any suitable magickal tools, sever any hurtful energetic cordages from your body. Imagine them reverting to their individual space-time with a prominent blast of light and supply your body with this universal light as you deal with each connection. Go easy on yourself and remember that healing is a lifetime path. 7. The Principle of Gender In reality, everything is a combination of feminine and masculine. The two forces occur separately or as an absolute. Everyone or everything is a blend of feminine and masculine energies instead of being one or the other, and its exhibition on the natural plane is individual’s biological sex- which can always be male, female or something in between. Put this into practice by researching about typical gender expressions. Examine how various cultures throughout time have recognized non-cis-gendered groups, in both old and recent times. You can even choose to experiment with some cross-dressing to find out how it influences you spiritually and psychologically. Want Izabael To Cast a Spell For You? Visit My Magick Spell Shop https://preview.redd.it/3q737z4v5di51.jpg?width=314&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=be499d9b20259ca23e88c177f7d956027a58cf9c Magic Spells by Izabael DaJinn The World’s Premiere Spell-casting Genie ***Successful Spells Cast since 2007 **\* originally posted at: https://izabaeldajinn.com/2019/08/magickal-influences-and-principles-of-hermeticism |
2024.05.21 17:59 CIAHerpes In the caverns under Frost Hollow, I found the madness of the ancient gods
I sit alone in my room on the seventh floor, writing what will surely be my last will and testament. The heroin which allowed me to forget and to sleep for the last couple of years has lost its power to keep the screaming terrors away. The drug destroyed my body and mind, gradually eating away at them like a corrosive acid. Now I have become a slave to it. And yet, without it, I do not sleep for weeks, but instead continuously see the scenes from that terrible night running through my head on repeat as worsening waves of madness crash on the shores of my consciousness.
In the caverns under the town of Frost Hollow, I found the meaning of true madness. Ever since I escaped that den of horrors, it is difficult to tell what is real and what is only the feverish delirium of an unhinged mind.
Even now, they wait behind the door to this cheap, bare rented room. They drag their claws over the wood. I hear them hissing in that strange, ancient tongue, the one I first heard in the tombs of rock that had been undisturbed for countless millennia.
***
I had first heard rumors of an unexplored cavern from my friend, an experienced caver named Sonia who had explored caverns all over the world. I had been looking for some excitement in my life, some break from the constant monotony and boredom of simply working and sleeping. I had gone caving quite a few times over the year leading up to the trip, but I was not nearly as experienced and had never explored a supposedly virgin passageway of cavern before.
“How do you know no one’s gone down there?” I asked, curious. We sat across from each other at a local diner, getting some early breakfast before our planned descent. The sunrise was still another half-hour away, the sky flat and dark. We would be joined by Sonia’s husband, Phil, who would meet us there shortly after sunrise. I repressed an urge to yawn, chugging half of the steaming hot coffee in one long swallow. Sonia leaned close to me, her nearly colorless blue eyes reminding me of chunks of ice floating down a muddy stream.
“Phil’s friend just found it randomly,” she whispered before glancing around conspiratorially, as if she feared someone would care enough to eavesdrop on a conversation about a cave. “Well, it’s in the middle of a farm, and Phil’s friend, Jack Graysole, owns the entire property and surrounding woods. Jack says he noticed the cows kept going over to a certain spot in the field when it got really hot during the summertime. They would all gather around this little indentation in the grass. After seeing it a few times, Jack got curious and went to investigate what the cows were doing.
“He found a small hole in the ground, almost entirely covered by weeds and grass. He said he felt a cool breeze constantly blowing out of the hole, a breeze that smelled like burning matches and charred metal. After bringing out some shovels and digging down a couple feet, Jack realized that the hole wasn’t a hole at all, but the beginning of a steep passageway leading deep into the bowels of the earth.”
***
The owner of the land decided to unofficially call the newly-discovered cavern Graysole Caverns. Out of respect for him, this is also the name we all used. This is the story of how I found myself in the bowels of a strange subterranean tunnel, a tunnel where creatures beyond my comprehension slunk and hunted, skittering monstrosities who would be more at home in a nightmare.
After grabbing a couple coffees to take with us, Sonia drove over to Graysole Farms. Cows stood out in the grassy fields, huddled in tight circles as they repetitively chewed. The thin silhouette of Jack Graysole waited for us next to the herd. He had a face like a raisin, I thought to myself. I watched his thin, shaking body standing in the middle of an overgrown grassy field. Jack stared down blankly at something only he could see. Sonia and I started unloading some equipment from the car while we waited for Phil.
Once we had the backpacks loaded with some simple supplies, such as water, food, headlamps, rope, a couple extra batteries, some buck knives, and radios, we headed over to accompany Jack. We weren’t taking much, as we didn’t really expect to be down there for more than six or seven hours at the most.
Jack Graysole’s withered old face was as slack and expressionless as that of a corpse. He stared down at the ground as if he were in a trance, waving back and forth slowly on his feet like a plant in a light breeze.
“Jack?” Sonia called out as we approached. I could hear the man’s teeth chattering as we got nearer.
“Hey, what are you doing over here this early? You interested in accompanying us down there?” Sonia joked. But Jack might as well have been totally deaf for all the reaction he gave. Sonia glanced over at me with an anxious expression. I wondered if the old man was having a stroke.
I quickly walked over to where he stood, staring down at a black circular hole about three feet across directly in front of his feet. The entrance to Graysole Caverns stared up at us like a sightless pupil. As I drew within a few feet of Jack and looked straight into his blank eyes, I noticed something alarming.
His pupils were quickly dilating and constricting before my eyes. They would shrink to tiny pinpoints, then, a couple seconds later, rapidly expand until they became dark and serious. I could see his thready, rapid heartbeat pulsating in a vein on the side of his temple. Alarmed, I reached forward and put my hand on his shoulder.
Instantly, he came to life, like a man waking up from a nightmare. Shrieking, he looked at me with fully dilated pupils, reminding me of a panicked deer surrounded by wolves. His quavering old man’s voice shook with ineffable existential horror and mortal fear.
He took a step back away from us, seeming to realize where he was and what he was doing. He looked around, confused, then straight at me and Sonia. His eyes focused with anger and fear, as if we were demons here to drag him down to Hell. His eyes flicked back and forth between us constantly. Jack raised a trembling hand and pointed it straight at my heart.
“It’s you,” he said, his voice dropping to a harsh whisper. His teeth chattered despite the warm spring air. His skin looked deathly pale. “You’re the one who will bring an end to humanity, who will release the ruler of nightmares upon us.” He continued to point accusingly for a long moment at me, his face turning chalk-white. Then his eyes rolled up in his head. Slowly, he stumbled and fell backwards onto the soft grass of the field.
“Jack!” Sonia cried, running over to the old man. Jack’s breaths had started to come in slow, drawn-out gurgles, like a man with a slit throat trying to breathe. Frothy blood bubbled from his lips as they turned blue. Staring up at the endless expanse of cloudless sky, he exhaled one last shuddering breath and died.
***
Phil showed up only a couple minutes later. He found me and Sonia in a state of utter panic, both of us bent double over the still body of Jack. Sonia was on the phone with 911, and I was trying to give Jack chest compressions. The way his fingernails and lips shone with that cyanotic blue cast made me feel sick and weak. I knew it was futile, that I was simply playing with a corpse at this point, but I didn’t know what else to do. I felt if I didn’t do something, I might explode.
I heard the faint wailing of sirens approaching as Sonia’s panicked voice continued babbling to the 911 operator. Phil stood by her side, his tall, dark features searching and lost.
“Oh God, I think he’s dead!” Sonia cried over and over to the operator, as if she thought the operator could do anything about it. I didn’t hear what the operator said in response. As the ambulance pulled in, I gave up on chest compressions. I stood up and took a step back, looking sadly down on the kindly old man’s dead body.
The paramedics ran over. Phil, Sonia and I stood back while they worked on the corpse, trying to shock the heart back into life. But Jack’s open eyes stayed glazed as they stared sightlessly up into eternity.
***
The paramedics left. A couple police officers stayed behind to ask us a few routine questions. Eventually, after an hour or so, they left, too.
“What a fucked-up day,” Phil said, shaking his head grimly. “Do you guys still want to do this? Maybe it’s an omen from God telling us to go home.” Sonia and I exchanged a glance, then we both nodded at the same time.
“Definitely,” she said. “It’s sad what happened to Jack, but realistically, we don’t know what’s going to happen to this property now that he’s passed away. It might get sold or taken by the bank for all we know. This could be our one and only chance to explore this cave.”
“I don’t believe in omens. I’m still down,” I said, feeling slightly sick from the experience. I still remembered how Jack’s body had cracked under the weight of my chest compressions, how his ribs had snapped like bones shattering in greedy hands. “We’ll do it in memory of Jack. I plan to put this up on YouTube.” I pulled my GoPro out of my bag, turning it on. Phil groaned at that.
“Do we have any idea how far down this cave goes?” Phil asked. I felt a sense of relief now that the topic had changed from the death of the old man.
“I sent a little camera down on a rope, but it only went about a hundred feet,” Sonia responded. “It’s pretty steep at first, then it levels out. I couldn’t really see much after it leveled out, but it looks like it should be easy to climb down. There’s plenty of handholds, lots of jutting rocks.”
Phil put on his headlamp and small pack. As he crawled down into the hole, his tanned face looked up at us and gave us one last devilish grin. Once he had gone down a few dozen feet, Sonia started descending. She looked excited and happy. I noticed how she couldn’t stop smiling as she disappeared from view.
I watched their lights grow smaller and dimmer in the circular tunnel. I marveled at how perfectly circular the entrance was. It almost didn’t even look natural.
Taking a deep breath in, I followed my friends down into the dark.
***
“This isn’t too bad,” I said as I climbed down. The jutting rocks gave plenty of handholds and footholds for us. It wasn’t so tight that it felt like a coffin, either.
“It only gets easier from here!” Sonia called up.
“How do you know?” I asked. “You said you’ve never been here before.” She laughed.
“I know. Probably just wishful thinking,” she said. Far below us, Jack’s voice drifted up, faint and weak. He had already reached the bottom.
“The tunnel really opens up down here, guys,” he called. “It’s somewhat… bizarre, though.”
“What do you mean by that?” Sonia asked. I looked down, seeing Sonia and I would reach the bottom in seconds. “Forget it, I’ll let it be a surprise.” I heard her drop down. Slowly and carefully, I lowered myself down the last few feet. There was a short fall onto a smooth granite floor. I looked up, seeing what Phil and Sonia were so mesmerized by.
“Oh, wow,” I said, speechless. I blinked rapidly, wondering if the image would clear like a mirage. The tunnel was cut into a perfectly triangular shape, each side about seven feet long. The ceiling met in a point above our heads.
All along the smooth walls of gray rock, I saw thousands of black orbs peeking out. They looked similar to obsidian, but they were perfectly smooth and circular, each about the size of an orange. They were formed into interlocking diagonal patterns and followed the tunnel straight down as far as the eye could see.
“What is this place?” Sonia asked, taking a tentative step forward. I looked up, seeing the distant pinpoint of sunlight far above our heads. Our voices continued to echo off down the massive tunnels, disappearing in eerie waves into the thick curtain of shadows.
“Are you recording all this?” Phil asked me. I laughed, giddy.
“Of course! This is internet gold right here,” I said. “No one’s going to believe that this isn’t man-made, however. I can’t even believe it. Do you think Jack was playing a joke on us or something?”
“Jack had the sense of humor of a wet paper towel,” Phil whispered, shaking his head. “No, he wouldn’t do something like this.”
“Well, let’s go check it out,” Sonia said, taking a step forward. Her headlamp bobbed up and down rapidly, throwing dancing shadows through the triangular tunnel. It continued straight ahead, without the slightest deviation or curve, disappearing off into a dark point in the distance.
***
We walked as fast as we could, excited to see where, if anywhere, the strange tunnel led. Phil, always the conspiracy theorist, babbled excitedly.
“This has to be aliens, man,” he said, running his fingers through his dark hair. “I bet that scientists will find out this shit is millions of years old when we get back up and tell everyone. Maybe aliens came to earth in ancient times and made a bunch of stuff underground.” Gradually, as we walked, I noticed the tunnel opening up. The pointed triangular ceiling rose up higher above our heads and the walls moved outwards, as we were walking up a triangular funnel. At first, it was so subtle that I didn’t believe it when Sonia pointed it out.
“No, look,” she said, raising her hand above her head. “When we first started down this weird tunnel, my fingers were only maybe a foot away from the top. Now it’s a couple feet.” I was about to respond when our headlamps illuminated something standing in the middle of the tunnel.
“What the fuck is that?” I whispered, stopping cold in my tracks. Phil and Sonia looked up at the abomination at the same time. Its back was to us. It stood nearly as tall as the tunnel, which was now about twenty feet high.
The bottom half looked black and spidery with dozens of long, jointed legs. A bloody, white spine rose out of the mass of legs. Inhumanly long, skeletal arms stretched out in front of it. Its face was pointed away from us, but the back of its head resembled an enormous pointed skull with deep fissures like the cracks of an earthquake running through the bone. The abomination stayed as still as a statue, and for a long moment, I wondered if we were looking at some macabre work of art.
Then, suddenly, one of its insectile legs twitched. A moment later, the other legs started jerking and twisting. There was a sound like bones shattering as it rose up to its full height, turning around to face us.
Its face was like something from a nightmare, melting and reforming constantly like dripping candle wax. I would see a black eye appear on its forehead, then a grinning mouth on its chin, then the features would get sucked back into the folds of melting flesh. After a few moments, two enormous eyes appeared on its face, dark and cold like craters on the surface of the Moon. The mouths and noses disappeared back into the dripping skin, and only the two lidless eyes remained, emanating a cold, reptilian consciousness beyond the ability of my mind to comprehend. I felt terror radiating from its body like freezing waves.
“Free me,” it cried in a gurgling voice that seethed with insanity. It had a shrieking, metallic ringing behind every word that gave it an alien quality. “Free me, and I will give you the waters of eternal life. Within me, I contain the seeds of immortality. Within the nightmares, we live forever, always together, never alone.”
“Who are you?” I asked, terrified. The black reptilian skin of the enormous beast glistened as it knelt down, its massive face drawing near to mine. A sideways mouth burst out of the liquified flesh, showing hundreds of fangs growing like tumors from its white, bloodless gums. The fangs varied in size from only a couple inches to long, sword-like projections that stabbed into the creature’s flesh, causing white blood glittering with rainbows to fall like raindrops all around me.
“I have many names,” it hissed, its thousand voices rising and falling in crashing waves of sound. “I was present at the beginning, when this planet was no more than dead cliffs and endless freezing oceans. Those holy ones who search for us, the ancient ones, call me Niralahoth.”
“How do we free you?” Phil asked, looking terrified. He held Sonia’s hand tightly.
“By letting me into your mind and body,” Niralahoth cried, shaking the cavern. “I was thrown down here, cursed and forgotten. I cannot leave this place of shadows within this body. But in the body of another, my consciousness can be free, and the seeds of new life can spread beyond this prison.”
“There’s no way anyone’s going to do that,” I said, my eyes widening as Niralahoth’s reptilian skull turned towards me in fury. “I mean, you’re asking one of us to give up our individuality, our lives, right?”
“I am asking you to become one with me and gain power undreamt of by mortals,” it cried. “I have within me the fountain of life, the waters that send death away screaming.” I glanced anxiously at Phil and Sonia, wondering if we would have to run.
“The answer is no,” I said. “I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, we can’t do that,” Phil said, backing me up. “But, anyways, I think our trip has ended. It’s time to turn around…”
“You will never return,” Niralahoth cried, skittering away from us. “If you will not accept salvation, then you must accept death.” Within seconds, it slunk away from us, backpedaling on its many skittering legs into the shadows.
***
All around us, a rumbling started.
There was a pounding that crashed through the rock tunnel, as if an insane blacksmith were hammering on a massive anvil. The ringing of crashing rock started off slowly, with a few stones smashing down around us with heavy blasts of sound. Within seconds, the cacophony sped up, rising into a constant stream of destruction. The black orbs were spinning in place all up and down the tunnel, their glossy obsidian surfaces flashing with sparks of blue light.
“It’s collapsing!” Phil cried, running back in the direction we came, holding Sonia’s hand as she tried to keep up with him. I could only stare for a long moment, not sure what to do. It seemed that the direction Phil was heading stood closer to total collapse.
“Wait!” I cried, but my voice was drowned out in the destruction all around us. I felt a rock smash into my shoulder, sending me down to my feet. I heard Phil give a scream of pain, then another stone came down and smashed into my forehead. I remember seeing everything spinning around me as the world went black.
***
I awoke to find my headlamp still shining straight up in the dusty tunnel. Large chunks of the tunnel had slid out of place and crashed to the stone floor. The granite chunks that had fallen looked unnaturally smooth, most of them in the shapes of cylinders or cubes and varying in size from that of an egg to that of a small car.
My head throbbed. It felt as if a tight belt of fire were wrapped around my temples. Groaning, I put my fingers up to my forehead. They came away slick with blood.
Slowly, I started pushing myself up on my feet. I was relieved that nothing seemed broken. I had a deep gash running from the center of my scalp down to my left temple and some shallower cuts on my shoulders and back, but I knew none of that was life-threatening.
“Sonia?” I whispered, my voice coming out weak and strained. I reached into my pack and found a bottle of water. I chugged it quickly in one long swallow.
“Phil?” I cried again, this time stronger. I heard a soft weeping nearby. Staggering, I followed the sound.
Sonia was bloody and covered in cuts and scrapes, sitting next to Phil’s prone form. I saw Phil’s right arm pinned under a massive slab of granite. His arm disappeared from the elbow down in a spreading puddle of thick, dark blood.
“Oh God, Max, I think he’s hurt really bad,” she wept. Phil’s eyes rolled wildly in his head, his face pale and bloodless. I looked down the way we had come, seeing the entire tunnel blocked by large slabs of stone, many with strange, black orbs peeking out like the lenses of cameras.
***
I don’t know how much time passed. My phone died after a day, and then we were counting the endless darkness in breaths and tears.
Phil swam in and out of consciousness as his arm putrefied and blackened around the crush site. After a couple days, Sonia and I agreed that something had to be done. We told Phil we would need to amputate his arm. He was half-delirious, but he came back long enough to understand us and nod weakly.
We made a fire with Phil’s pack, trying to find fuel to throw in it to get it roaring. As it grew, I saw one of the black orbs near the flames abruptly ignite, as if it had been covered in gasoline. Blue, almost colorless flames rose from its surface. We started throwing the small black orbs on the fire until it rose high in the air. I sanitized the buck knife with the flames and pulled a rope tourniquet tight around Phil’s arm. He was conscious but seemingly insane, talking to himself more than anyone else.
“How are we going to get the car started without a key?” he gurgled to someone only he could see. “We need to look around. It has to be here somewhere.”
“Phil, can you hear me, bud? We need to fix your arm. We need to get you out of this mess. OK?” I said as comfortingly as I could. Phil’s eyes rolled wildly, but they didn’t meet my own. I sighed and looked over at Sonia.
“Let’s do it,” I said, giving a grim nod.
I pulled the buck knife out, slicing quickly down through the flesh next to the tourniquet. His veins throbbed like fat worms as the blackened, necrotic skin split easily under the blade, releasing a rancid-smelling gas that hissed out of the wound.
I couldn’t believe how hard it was to slice all the way through the arm. It felt like I was stuck in that hellish task forever. Phil’s eyes rolled in his head as his skin turned the color of clotted milk.
“God, Jesus, make it stop,” Phil whispered over and over, exhaling ragged, pain-filled breaths. The blood spurted from the blackened, dying tissue all over the dust-covered cavern floor, covering my hands in its warm, slick embrace.
After what was probably only three or four minutes, but felt like hours, I had sliced all the way down to the bone. The infected tissue of his arm spurted great gouts of orange pus mixed with rivulets of blood. The hard part was over.
Standing up, I took my steel-toe sneaker and stomped down on his arm as hard as I could. Phil cried out in a powerful voice, as if all the agony and suffering in the world was contained in that one shriek. The bone snapped under my weight with a sound like a tree branch cracking. A moment later, Phil rolled away from the rock that had pinned me in place for so long. Something alien and spongy was shoved into my face, a mass of destroyed red tissue pulsating in time with a runaway heartbeat. At first, shell-shocked and revolted, my mind couldn’t comprehend that I was looking at the stump of Phil’s mutilated arm. I hardened my heart and forced the giddiness and madness to the back of my mind. The time had come to cauterize the wound.
“Sonia, give it to me,” I said with a tremor in my voice. I reached out a hand towards her, a hand stained with Phil’s blood. It looked as if I were wearing a wet, crimson glove. Sonia only stared blankly at me for a long moment, however. A surge of anger ran up my chest.
“Sonia, toughen the fuck up! He’s going to die if you just sit there!” I swore at her, hearing my deep, angry voice bounce around the caverns. Sonia pulled back, as if she were struck. Inwardly, I cursed having a woman as my only able-bodied companion in this situation. She was a competent enough caver, but what would happen if violence and blood came over us? What would happen if, or more realistically when, we needed to fight?
Grimly, Sonia leaned forward and yanked the burning black orb out of the roaring fire, handing it to me on the end of a buck knife that had just barely pierced its hard, strange exterior. The handle of the knife felt coarse and splintery under my filthy skin. I put it to the spongy stump of Phil’s arm. The stump twitched violently. Phil tried to pull away as black smoke rose from the burning flesh.
There was a smell like bacon sizzling. The searing meat of Phil’s arm blackened and crisped under the heat of the orb, which had become no more than a cylinder of glowing blue embers by this point. I felt simultaneously sick and giddy. I didn’t know if I wanted to laugh or vomit. I felt like I was on the verge of some kind of madness, that the stress and insanity of the experience had started to shatter my mind.
His eyes rolled back in his head and he appeared to go into a seizure for a few seconds. With a long exhalation of breath, he finally, mercifully, lost consciousness. It’s hard to admit it, even this close to the end, but a small, sick piece of me was jealous of Phil. Most likely, he would be dead soon, maybe within hours, while Sonia and I would slowly starve and dehydrate like animals over a period of weeks. I looked at her lithe body and soft skin, seeing the feminine curves of her hips and chest. She was a beautiful woman. I knew Phil to be a lucky man. At least, before this trip, he was.
I watched her body, wondering if I had what it took to eat her or Phil if I had to. Did I have an iron heart that would allow me to slice into my friends and consume their raw, cold flesh? Perhaps, by that point, it would be hunger and madness driving me forward, and I wouldn’t even hesitate. I shuddered at the very thought.
***
I fell asleep that night, having strange dreams of massive gods with melting faces sitting in judgment in a circle around me. We had very little food or water left. No one knew we were down here. Rescue was not coming.
When I awoke, I found myself alone. Phil had died from his injuries while I slept, the black streaks of septic shock spreading up his arm towards his heart. His eyes stared sightlessly up at the rock ceiling.
“Sonia?” I called out, my heart racing as I sat up. “Where are you?” My headlamp was growing dim. I looked in my pack, realizing I was on the last of my batteries. I saw a silhouette walking out of the darkness, the thin, pale form of Sonia. She was trembling badly.
“I saw them,” she said. “Niralahoth and its priests. The priests aren’t human. They look reptilian with sideways mouths and too many eyes.” She shuddered.
“Why would you do that?” I asked. Her eyes grew distant.
“You know we’re not getting out of here alive,” she said. “Not on our own. I wanted to see what it offered. It says that if we take a piece of its nightmare into us, we will gain the power to leave this place, that it simply wants to see the surface and spread its nightmares there.” I shook my head.
“Insanity,” I muttered. “We’d be better off dead.” Sonia nodded.
“My thoughts exactly,” she responded grimly. I didn’t realize what she meant until the next day, when I woke up and found her hanging next to Phil’s body, her tongue swollen and blue as it poked out of her cyanotic lips. And then I was truly alone.
***
Soon after Sonia committed suicide, the last of the batteries for the headlamp died. I had run out of food and had only a small sip of water left. I don’t know how much time passed in the darkness, starving and raving, following the tunnel by running my hands over the walls. I heard many things skittering in the darkness, and a few times, I heard the demonic voice of Niralahoth as it split and distorted.
“You are on death’s door,” it hissed. “Will you not drink from the fountain of life?” I couldn’t tell where the voice came from in the maddening blackness. It seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere. I had lost nearly all of my sanity in that pit of shadows by this point. I tried laughing constantly to keep my spirits up, and when that failed, I simply cried.
“I’ll do it,” I wailed. “I’ll do it. Just let me see the sky again. Get me out of here, Niralahoth.” Everything went deathly silent all around me, then a laugh rang out like the grinding of glass.
In front of me, I saw a tornado of fire descending from the ceiling, surrounding the massive, spidery form of Niralahoth. It rose its skeletal arms upwards, as if it were Zeus calling down lightning. In the sudden brightness, I saw the fiery form of snakes slithering and centipedes skittering forwards in that tornado, each massive creature sculpted from flames in the spinning cyclone of energy. Niralahoth reached into the tornado of fire with its sharp points of fingers and plucked something small from it. The fire instantly dissipated. In its hand, I saw a tiny, swirling orb that looked like it contained a firestorm within it.
“The nightmare seed,” Niralahoth gurgled as it skittered forward towards me. I could only stare, open-mouthed and starving. I hadn’t slept for days, it felt like, and everything seemed slow and unreal.
In a blur, its skeletal arm shot out and forced the orb into my mouth. Despite the fire raging within it, it felt freezing cold. As it touched my tongue, it gave off a sensation like frostbite all throughout my mouth. I screamed and tried spitting it out, but it seemed to have a mind of its own. It started liquifying, dripping down my throat.
I felt something cancerous and sick spreading throughout my body, radiating out from my heart and stomach to every inch of it. I tried to scream, but it caught behind my teeth. I fell to my knees, clawing at my face as that insane, alien laugh continued resounding all down the tunnel. I fell unconscious and woke up under a beautiful sky in the fields of Graysole Farms.
***
Soon after, I realized that my life would never be the same. Everywhere I went, I could hear the wailing voice of Niralahoth. Behind the trees, I always saw skittering shadows, creatures with long, spidery legs that stalked me every day and night. I slept with every light in the house turned on, yet when I woke up, they would all be shut off, and I would find myself in darkness, next to something in the bed with far too many legs and a face that dripped like burning wax.
I sold everything I owned and tried to move far away, to give as much distance between myself and those cursed caverns as I could, but the nightmares followed me like a shadow. I realize what a fool I was in those ephemeral moments of madness. Sonia was much wiser than myself; I should have killed myself or died rather than allowing that thing inside of me.
Even now, I can feel it creeping through my heart, spreading through my blood. I feel it trying to crawl its way out of my throat, the thin, black legs peeking out at the back of my esophagus.
I only hope that, when I finally jump and feel my bones shatter against the concrete far below, I will kill whatever is inside of me. For I fear the consequences for the world if it were to escape.
submitted by CIAHerpes to nosleep [link] [comments]
In the caverns under the town of Frost Hollow, I found the meaning of true madness. Ever since I escaped that den of horrors, it is difficult to tell what is real and what is only the feverish delirium of an unhinged mind.
Even now, they wait behind the door to this cheap, bare rented room. They drag their claws over the wood. I hear them hissing in that strange, ancient tongue, the one I first heard in the tombs of rock that had been undisturbed for countless millennia.
***
I had first heard rumors of an unexplored cavern from my friend, an experienced caver named Sonia who had explored caverns all over the world. I had been looking for some excitement in my life, some break from the constant monotony and boredom of simply working and sleeping. I had gone caving quite a few times over the year leading up to the trip, but I was not nearly as experienced and had never explored a supposedly virgin passageway of cavern before.
“How do you know no one’s gone down there?” I asked, curious. We sat across from each other at a local diner, getting some early breakfast before our planned descent. The sunrise was still another half-hour away, the sky flat and dark. We would be joined by Sonia’s husband, Phil, who would meet us there shortly after sunrise. I repressed an urge to yawn, chugging half of the steaming hot coffee in one long swallow. Sonia leaned close to me, her nearly colorless blue eyes reminding me of chunks of ice floating down a muddy stream.
“Phil’s friend just found it randomly,” she whispered before glancing around conspiratorially, as if she feared someone would care enough to eavesdrop on a conversation about a cave. “Well, it’s in the middle of a farm, and Phil’s friend, Jack Graysole, owns the entire property and surrounding woods. Jack says he noticed the cows kept going over to a certain spot in the field when it got really hot during the summertime. They would all gather around this little indentation in the grass. After seeing it a few times, Jack got curious and went to investigate what the cows were doing.
“He found a small hole in the ground, almost entirely covered by weeds and grass. He said he felt a cool breeze constantly blowing out of the hole, a breeze that smelled like burning matches and charred metal. After bringing out some shovels and digging down a couple feet, Jack realized that the hole wasn’t a hole at all, but the beginning of a steep passageway leading deep into the bowels of the earth.”
***
The owner of the land decided to unofficially call the newly-discovered cavern Graysole Caverns. Out of respect for him, this is also the name we all used. This is the story of how I found myself in the bowels of a strange subterranean tunnel, a tunnel where creatures beyond my comprehension slunk and hunted, skittering monstrosities who would be more at home in a nightmare.
After grabbing a couple coffees to take with us, Sonia drove over to Graysole Farms. Cows stood out in the grassy fields, huddled in tight circles as they repetitively chewed. The thin silhouette of Jack Graysole waited for us next to the herd. He had a face like a raisin, I thought to myself. I watched his thin, shaking body standing in the middle of an overgrown grassy field. Jack stared down blankly at something only he could see. Sonia and I started unloading some equipment from the car while we waited for Phil.
Once we had the backpacks loaded with some simple supplies, such as water, food, headlamps, rope, a couple extra batteries, some buck knives, and radios, we headed over to accompany Jack. We weren’t taking much, as we didn’t really expect to be down there for more than six or seven hours at the most.
Jack Graysole’s withered old face was as slack and expressionless as that of a corpse. He stared down at the ground as if he were in a trance, waving back and forth slowly on his feet like a plant in a light breeze.
“Jack?” Sonia called out as we approached. I could hear the man’s teeth chattering as we got nearer.
“Hey, what are you doing over here this early? You interested in accompanying us down there?” Sonia joked. But Jack might as well have been totally deaf for all the reaction he gave. Sonia glanced over at me with an anxious expression. I wondered if the old man was having a stroke.
I quickly walked over to where he stood, staring down at a black circular hole about three feet across directly in front of his feet. The entrance to Graysole Caverns stared up at us like a sightless pupil. As I drew within a few feet of Jack and looked straight into his blank eyes, I noticed something alarming.
His pupils were quickly dilating and constricting before my eyes. They would shrink to tiny pinpoints, then, a couple seconds later, rapidly expand until they became dark and serious. I could see his thready, rapid heartbeat pulsating in a vein on the side of his temple. Alarmed, I reached forward and put my hand on his shoulder.
Instantly, he came to life, like a man waking up from a nightmare. Shrieking, he looked at me with fully dilated pupils, reminding me of a panicked deer surrounded by wolves. His quavering old man’s voice shook with ineffable existential horror and mortal fear.
He took a step back away from us, seeming to realize where he was and what he was doing. He looked around, confused, then straight at me and Sonia. His eyes focused with anger and fear, as if we were demons here to drag him down to Hell. His eyes flicked back and forth between us constantly. Jack raised a trembling hand and pointed it straight at my heart.
“It’s you,” he said, his voice dropping to a harsh whisper. His teeth chattered despite the warm spring air. His skin looked deathly pale. “You’re the one who will bring an end to humanity, who will release the ruler of nightmares upon us.” He continued to point accusingly for a long moment at me, his face turning chalk-white. Then his eyes rolled up in his head. Slowly, he stumbled and fell backwards onto the soft grass of the field.
“Jack!” Sonia cried, running over to the old man. Jack’s breaths had started to come in slow, drawn-out gurgles, like a man with a slit throat trying to breathe. Frothy blood bubbled from his lips as they turned blue. Staring up at the endless expanse of cloudless sky, he exhaled one last shuddering breath and died.
***
Phil showed up only a couple minutes later. He found me and Sonia in a state of utter panic, both of us bent double over the still body of Jack. Sonia was on the phone with 911, and I was trying to give Jack chest compressions. The way his fingernails and lips shone with that cyanotic blue cast made me feel sick and weak. I knew it was futile, that I was simply playing with a corpse at this point, but I didn’t know what else to do. I felt if I didn’t do something, I might explode.
I heard the faint wailing of sirens approaching as Sonia’s panicked voice continued babbling to the 911 operator. Phil stood by her side, his tall, dark features searching and lost.
“Oh God, I think he’s dead!” Sonia cried over and over to the operator, as if she thought the operator could do anything about it. I didn’t hear what the operator said in response. As the ambulance pulled in, I gave up on chest compressions. I stood up and took a step back, looking sadly down on the kindly old man’s dead body.
The paramedics ran over. Phil, Sonia and I stood back while they worked on the corpse, trying to shock the heart back into life. But Jack’s open eyes stayed glazed as they stared sightlessly up into eternity.
***
The paramedics left. A couple police officers stayed behind to ask us a few routine questions. Eventually, after an hour or so, they left, too.
“What a fucked-up day,” Phil said, shaking his head grimly. “Do you guys still want to do this? Maybe it’s an omen from God telling us to go home.” Sonia and I exchanged a glance, then we both nodded at the same time.
“Definitely,” she said. “It’s sad what happened to Jack, but realistically, we don’t know what’s going to happen to this property now that he’s passed away. It might get sold or taken by the bank for all we know. This could be our one and only chance to explore this cave.”
“I don’t believe in omens. I’m still down,” I said, feeling slightly sick from the experience. I still remembered how Jack’s body had cracked under the weight of my chest compressions, how his ribs had snapped like bones shattering in greedy hands. “We’ll do it in memory of Jack. I plan to put this up on YouTube.” I pulled my GoPro out of my bag, turning it on. Phil groaned at that.
“Do we have any idea how far down this cave goes?” Phil asked. I felt a sense of relief now that the topic had changed from the death of the old man.
“I sent a little camera down on a rope, but it only went about a hundred feet,” Sonia responded. “It’s pretty steep at first, then it levels out. I couldn’t really see much after it leveled out, but it looks like it should be easy to climb down. There’s plenty of handholds, lots of jutting rocks.”
Phil put on his headlamp and small pack. As he crawled down into the hole, his tanned face looked up at us and gave us one last devilish grin. Once he had gone down a few dozen feet, Sonia started descending. She looked excited and happy. I noticed how she couldn’t stop smiling as she disappeared from view.
I watched their lights grow smaller and dimmer in the circular tunnel. I marveled at how perfectly circular the entrance was. It almost didn’t even look natural.
Taking a deep breath in, I followed my friends down into the dark.
***
“This isn’t too bad,” I said as I climbed down. The jutting rocks gave plenty of handholds and footholds for us. It wasn’t so tight that it felt like a coffin, either.
“It only gets easier from here!” Sonia called up.
“How do you know?” I asked. “You said you’ve never been here before.” She laughed.
“I know. Probably just wishful thinking,” she said. Far below us, Jack’s voice drifted up, faint and weak. He had already reached the bottom.
“The tunnel really opens up down here, guys,” he called. “It’s somewhat… bizarre, though.”
“What do you mean by that?” Sonia asked. I looked down, seeing Sonia and I would reach the bottom in seconds. “Forget it, I’ll let it be a surprise.” I heard her drop down. Slowly and carefully, I lowered myself down the last few feet. There was a short fall onto a smooth granite floor. I looked up, seeing what Phil and Sonia were so mesmerized by.
“Oh, wow,” I said, speechless. I blinked rapidly, wondering if the image would clear like a mirage. The tunnel was cut into a perfectly triangular shape, each side about seven feet long. The ceiling met in a point above our heads.
All along the smooth walls of gray rock, I saw thousands of black orbs peeking out. They looked similar to obsidian, but they were perfectly smooth and circular, each about the size of an orange. They were formed into interlocking diagonal patterns and followed the tunnel straight down as far as the eye could see.
“What is this place?” Sonia asked, taking a tentative step forward. I looked up, seeing the distant pinpoint of sunlight far above our heads. Our voices continued to echo off down the massive tunnels, disappearing in eerie waves into the thick curtain of shadows.
“Are you recording all this?” Phil asked me. I laughed, giddy.
“Of course! This is internet gold right here,” I said. “No one’s going to believe that this isn’t man-made, however. I can’t even believe it. Do you think Jack was playing a joke on us or something?”
“Jack had the sense of humor of a wet paper towel,” Phil whispered, shaking his head. “No, he wouldn’t do something like this.”
“Well, let’s go check it out,” Sonia said, taking a step forward. Her headlamp bobbed up and down rapidly, throwing dancing shadows through the triangular tunnel. It continued straight ahead, without the slightest deviation or curve, disappearing off into a dark point in the distance.
***
We walked as fast as we could, excited to see where, if anywhere, the strange tunnel led. Phil, always the conspiracy theorist, babbled excitedly.
“This has to be aliens, man,” he said, running his fingers through his dark hair. “I bet that scientists will find out this shit is millions of years old when we get back up and tell everyone. Maybe aliens came to earth in ancient times and made a bunch of stuff underground.” Gradually, as we walked, I noticed the tunnel opening up. The pointed triangular ceiling rose up higher above our heads and the walls moved outwards, as we were walking up a triangular funnel. At first, it was so subtle that I didn’t believe it when Sonia pointed it out.
“No, look,” she said, raising her hand above her head. “When we first started down this weird tunnel, my fingers were only maybe a foot away from the top. Now it’s a couple feet.” I was about to respond when our headlamps illuminated something standing in the middle of the tunnel.
“What the fuck is that?” I whispered, stopping cold in my tracks. Phil and Sonia looked up at the abomination at the same time. Its back was to us. It stood nearly as tall as the tunnel, which was now about twenty feet high.
The bottom half looked black and spidery with dozens of long, jointed legs. A bloody, white spine rose out of the mass of legs. Inhumanly long, skeletal arms stretched out in front of it. Its face was pointed away from us, but the back of its head resembled an enormous pointed skull with deep fissures like the cracks of an earthquake running through the bone. The abomination stayed as still as a statue, and for a long moment, I wondered if we were looking at some macabre work of art.
Then, suddenly, one of its insectile legs twitched. A moment later, the other legs started jerking and twisting. There was a sound like bones shattering as it rose up to its full height, turning around to face us.
Its face was like something from a nightmare, melting and reforming constantly like dripping candle wax. I would see a black eye appear on its forehead, then a grinning mouth on its chin, then the features would get sucked back into the folds of melting flesh. After a few moments, two enormous eyes appeared on its face, dark and cold like craters on the surface of the Moon. The mouths and noses disappeared back into the dripping skin, and only the two lidless eyes remained, emanating a cold, reptilian consciousness beyond the ability of my mind to comprehend. I felt terror radiating from its body like freezing waves.
“Free me,” it cried in a gurgling voice that seethed with insanity. It had a shrieking, metallic ringing behind every word that gave it an alien quality. “Free me, and I will give you the waters of eternal life. Within me, I contain the seeds of immortality. Within the nightmares, we live forever, always together, never alone.”
“Who are you?” I asked, terrified. The black reptilian skin of the enormous beast glistened as it knelt down, its massive face drawing near to mine. A sideways mouth burst out of the liquified flesh, showing hundreds of fangs growing like tumors from its white, bloodless gums. The fangs varied in size from only a couple inches to long, sword-like projections that stabbed into the creature’s flesh, causing white blood glittering with rainbows to fall like raindrops all around me.
“I have many names,” it hissed, its thousand voices rising and falling in crashing waves of sound. “I was present at the beginning, when this planet was no more than dead cliffs and endless freezing oceans. Those holy ones who search for us, the ancient ones, call me Niralahoth.”
“How do we free you?” Phil asked, looking terrified. He held Sonia’s hand tightly.
“By letting me into your mind and body,” Niralahoth cried, shaking the cavern. “I was thrown down here, cursed and forgotten. I cannot leave this place of shadows within this body. But in the body of another, my consciousness can be free, and the seeds of new life can spread beyond this prison.”
“There’s no way anyone’s going to do that,” I said, my eyes widening as Niralahoth’s reptilian skull turned towards me in fury. “I mean, you’re asking one of us to give up our individuality, our lives, right?”
“I am asking you to become one with me and gain power undreamt of by mortals,” it cried. “I have within me the fountain of life, the waters that send death away screaming.” I glanced anxiously at Phil and Sonia, wondering if we would have to run.
“The answer is no,” I said. “I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, we can’t do that,” Phil said, backing me up. “But, anyways, I think our trip has ended. It’s time to turn around…”
“You will never return,” Niralahoth cried, skittering away from us. “If you will not accept salvation, then you must accept death.” Within seconds, it slunk away from us, backpedaling on its many skittering legs into the shadows.
***
All around us, a rumbling started.
There was a pounding that crashed through the rock tunnel, as if an insane blacksmith were hammering on a massive anvil. The ringing of crashing rock started off slowly, with a few stones smashing down around us with heavy blasts of sound. Within seconds, the cacophony sped up, rising into a constant stream of destruction. The black orbs were spinning in place all up and down the tunnel, their glossy obsidian surfaces flashing with sparks of blue light.
“It’s collapsing!” Phil cried, running back in the direction we came, holding Sonia’s hand as she tried to keep up with him. I could only stare for a long moment, not sure what to do. It seemed that the direction Phil was heading stood closer to total collapse.
“Wait!” I cried, but my voice was drowned out in the destruction all around us. I felt a rock smash into my shoulder, sending me down to my feet. I heard Phil give a scream of pain, then another stone came down and smashed into my forehead. I remember seeing everything spinning around me as the world went black.
***
I awoke to find my headlamp still shining straight up in the dusty tunnel. Large chunks of the tunnel had slid out of place and crashed to the stone floor. The granite chunks that had fallen looked unnaturally smooth, most of them in the shapes of cylinders or cubes and varying in size from that of an egg to that of a small car.
My head throbbed. It felt as if a tight belt of fire were wrapped around my temples. Groaning, I put my fingers up to my forehead. They came away slick with blood.
Slowly, I started pushing myself up on my feet. I was relieved that nothing seemed broken. I had a deep gash running from the center of my scalp down to my left temple and some shallower cuts on my shoulders and back, but I knew none of that was life-threatening.
“Sonia?” I whispered, my voice coming out weak and strained. I reached into my pack and found a bottle of water. I chugged it quickly in one long swallow.
“Phil?” I cried again, this time stronger. I heard a soft weeping nearby. Staggering, I followed the sound.
Sonia was bloody and covered in cuts and scrapes, sitting next to Phil’s prone form. I saw Phil’s right arm pinned under a massive slab of granite. His arm disappeared from the elbow down in a spreading puddle of thick, dark blood.
“Oh God, Max, I think he’s hurt really bad,” she wept. Phil’s eyes rolled wildly in his head, his face pale and bloodless. I looked down the way we had come, seeing the entire tunnel blocked by large slabs of stone, many with strange, black orbs peeking out like the lenses of cameras.
***
I don’t know how much time passed. My phone died after a day, and then we were counting the endless darkness in breaths and tears.
Phil swam in and out of consciousness as his arm putrefied and blackened around the crush site. After a couple days, Sonia and I agreed that something had to be done. We told Phil we would need to amputate his arm. He was half-delirious, but he came back long enough to understand us and nod weakly.
We made a fire with Phil’s pack, trying to find fuel to throw in it to get it roaring. As it grew, I saw one of the black orbs near the flames abruptly ignite, as if it had been covered in gasoline. Blue, almost colorless flames rose from its surface. We started throwing the small black orbs on the fire until it rose high in the air. I sanitized the buck knife with the flames and pulled a rope tourniquet tight around Phil’s arm. He was conscious but seemingly insane, talking to himself more than anyone else.
“How are we going to get the car started without a key?” he gurgled to someone only he could see. “We need to look around. It has to be here somewhere.”
“Phil, can you hear me, bud? We need to fix your arm. We need to get you out of this mess. OK?” I said as comfortingly as I could. Phil’s eyes rolled wildly, but they didn’t meet my own. I sighed and looked over at Sonia.
“Let’s do it,” I said, giving a grim nod.
I pulled the buck knife out, slicing quickly down through the flesh next to the tourniquet. His veins throbbed like fat worms as the blackened, necrotic skin split easily under the blade, releasing a rancid-smelling gas that hissed out of the wound.
I couldn’t believe how hard it was to slice all the way through the arm. It felt like I was stuck in that hellish task forever. Phil’s eyes rolled in his head as his skin turned the color of clotted milk.
“God, Jesus, make it stop,” Phil whispered over and over, exhaling ragged, pain-filled breaths. The blood spurted from the blackened, dying tissue all over the dust-covered cavern floor, covering my hands in its warm, slick embrace.
After what was probably only three or four minutes, but felt like hours, I had sliced all the way down to the bone. The infected tissue of his arm spurted great gouts of orange pus mixed with rivulets of blood. The hard part was over.
Standing up, I took my steel-toe sneaker and stomped down on his arm as hard as I could. Phil cried out in a powerful voice, as if all the agony and suffering in the world was contained in that one shriek. The bone snapped under my weight with a sound like a tree branch cracking. A moment later, Phil rolled away from the rock that had pinned me in place for so long. Something alien and spongy was shoved into my face, a mass of destroyed red tissue pulsating in time with a runaway heartbeat. At first, shell-shocked and revolted, my mind couldn’t comprehend that I was looking at the stump of Phil’s mutilated arm. I hardened my heart and forced the giddiness and madness to the back of my mind. The time had come to cauterize the wound.
“Sonia, give it to me,” I said with a tremor in my voice. I reached out a hand towards her, a hand stained with Phil’s blood. It looked as if I were wearing a wet, crimson glove. Sonia only stared blankly at me for a long moment, however. A surge of anger ran up my chest.
“Sonia, toughen the fuck up! He’s going to die if you just sit there!” I swore at her, hearing my deep, angry voice bounce around the caverns. Sonia pulled back, as if she were struck. Inwardly, I cursed having a woman as my only able-bodied companion in this situation. She was a competent enough caver, but what would happen if violence and blood came over us? What would happen if, or more realistically when, we needed to fight?
Grimly, Sonia leaned forward and yanked the burning black orb out of the roaring fire, handing it to me on the end of a buck knife that had just barely pierced its hard, strange exterior. The handle of the knife felt coarse and splintery under my filthy skin. I put it to the spongy stump of Phil’s arm. The stump twitched violently. Phil tried to pull away as black smoke rose from the burning flesh.
There was a smell like bacon sizzling. The searing meat of Phil’s arm blackened and crisped under the heat of the orb, which had become no more than a cylinder of glowing blue embers by this point. I felt simultaneously sick and giddy. I didn’t know if I wanted to laugh or vomit. I felt like I was on the verge of some kind of madness, that the stress and insanity of the experience had started to shatter my mind.
His eyes rolled back in his head and he appeared to go into a seizure for a few seconds. With a long exhalation of breath, he finally, mercifully, lost consciousness. It’s hard to admit it, even this close to the end, but a small, sick piece of me was jealous of Phil. Most likely, he would be dead soon, maybe within hours, while Sonia and I would slowly starve and dehydrate like animals over a period of weeks. I looked at her lithe body and soft skin, seeing the feminine curves of her hips and chest. She was a beautiful woman. I knew Phil to be a lucky man. At least, before this trip, he was.
I watched her body, wondering if I had what it took to eat her or Phil if I had to. Did I have an iron heart that would allow me to slice into my friends and consume their raw, cold flesh? Perhaps, by that point, it would be hunger and madness driving me forward, and I wouldn’t even hesitate. I shuddered at the very thought.
***
I fell asleep that night, having strange dreams of massive gods with melting faces sitting in judgment in a circle around me. We had very little food or water left. No one knew we were down here. Rescue was not coming.
When I awoke, I found myself alone. Phil had died from his injuries while I slept, the black streaks of septic shock spreading up his arm towards his heart. His eyes stared sightlessly up at the rock ceiling.
“Sonia?” I called out, my heart racing as I sat up. “Where are you?” My headlamp was growing dim. I looked in my pack, realizing I was on the last of my batteries. I saw a silhouette walking out of the darkness, the thin, pale form of Sonia. She was trembling badly.
“I saw them,” she said. “Niralahoth and its priests. The priests aren’t human. They look reptilian with sideways mouths and too many eyes.” She shuddered.
“Why would you do that?” I asked. Her eyes grew distant.
“You know we’re not getting out of here alive,” she said. “Not on our own. I wanted to see what it offered. It says that if we take a piece of its nightmare into us, we will gain the power to leave this place, that it simply wants to see the surface and spread its nightmares there.” I shook my head.
“Insanity,” I muttered. “We’d be better off dead.” Sonia nodded.
“My thoughts exactly,” she responded grimly. I didn’t realize what she meant until the next day, when I woke up and found her hanging next to Phil’s body, her tongue swollen and blue as it poked out of her cyanotic lips. And then I was truly alone.
***
Soon after Sonia committed suicide, the last of the batteries for the headlamp died. I had run out of food and had only a small sip of water left. I don’t know how much time passed in the darkness, starving and raving, following the tunnel by running my hands over the walls. I heard many things skittering in the darkness, and a few times, I heard the demonic voice of Niralahoth as it split and distorted.
“You are on death’s door,” it hissed. “Will you not drink from the fountain of life?” I couldn’t tell where the voice came from in the maddening blackness. It seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere. I had lost nearly all of my sanity in that pit of shadows by this point. I tried laughing constantly to keep my spirits up, and when that failed, I simply cried.
“I’ll do it,” I wailed. “I’ll do it. Just let me see the sky again. Get me out of here, Niralahoth.” Everything went deathly silent all around me, then a laugh rang out like the grinding of glass.
In front of me, I saw a tornado of fire descending from the ceiling, surrounding the massive, spidery form of Niralahoth. It rose its skeletal arms upwards, as if it were Zeus calling down lightning. In the sudden brightness, I saw the fiery form of snakes slithering and centipedes skittering forwards in that tornado, each massive creature sculpted from flames in the spinning cyclone of energy. Niralahoth reached into the tornado of fire with its sharp points of fingers and plucked something small from it. The fire instantly dissipated. In its hand, I saw a tiny, swirling orb that looked like it contained a firestorm within it.
“The nightmare seed,” Niralahoth gurgled as it skittered forward towards me. I could only stare, open-mouthed and starving. I hadn’t slept for days, it felt like, and everything seemed slow and unreal.
In a blur, its skeletal arm shot out and forced the orb into my mouth. Despite the fire raging within it, it felt freezing cold. As it touched my tongue, it gave off a sensation like frostbite all throughout my mouth. I screamed and tried spitting it out, but it seemed to have a mind of its own. It started liquifying, dripping down my throat.
I felt something cancerous and sick spreading throughout my body, radiating out from my heart and stomach to every inch of it. I tried to scream, but it caught behind my teeth. I fell to my knees, clawing at my face as that insane, alien laugh continued resounding all down the tunnel. I fell unconscious and woke up under a beautiful sky in the fields of Graysole Farms.
***
Soon after, I realized that my life would never be the same. Everywhere I went, I could hear the wailing voice of Niralahoth. Behind the trees, I always saw skittering shadows, creatures with long, spidery legs that stalked me every day and night. I slept with every light in the house turned on, yet when I woke up, they would all be shut off, and I would find myself in darkness, next to something in the bed with far too many legs and a face that dripped like burning wax.
I sold everything I owned and tried to move far away, to give as much distance between myself and those cursed caverns as I could, but the nightmares followed me like a shadow. I realize what a fool I was in those ephemeral moments of madness. Sonia was much wiser than myself; I should have killed myself or died rather than allowing that thing inside of me.
Even now, I can feel it creeping through my heart, spreading through my blood. I feel it trying to crawl its way out of my throat, the thin, black legs peeking out at the back of my esophagus.
I only hope that, when I finally jump and feel my bones shatter against the concrete far below, I will kill whatever is inside of me. For I fear the consequences for the world if it were to escape.
2024.05.21 17:57 rokhead22 New diabetes, possible LADA, I guess my story is just starting
I've been reading the stories here and didn't want to be a "me too" poster, but I realize that some people may benefit (as I have) by others sharing their story.
I am male, 56, fairly healthy eater, moderately active and at my best weight in 15 years due to intentional portion control and increased physical activity through yardwork and treadmill (in hindsight, I may have gotten some weight loss "help" from undiagnosed diabetes as well). Honestly, I've been feeling great until 2 weeks ago when I got a slap-in-the-face diabetes diagnosis as a reward for my diligence. GP said diabetes, but he refuses to give a type 1/2 clarification - he said "we'll let the Endocrinologist determine that". My research and test results seem to indicate LADA (negative autoantibodies, mildly positive GAD (39), DKA symptoms, strong auto-immune family history). A recent visit to a dietician sort of supported my suspicions, when she printed out a LADA info sheet and handed it to me without much comment.
It started with a variety of symptoms that you all know, but I was able to write each of them off with a shrug:
Distance vision started degrading (I had perfect vision all my life - hmmm...I must be getting old)
Overnight cramps in my legs and feet like they were in a vice (must have pulled something working in the garden or on the treadmill)
Ankle swelling (whats that about? twisted ankle maybe?)
Rapidly increasing desire for water like I could not get enough (well, its a healthy habit right? and I \have* been trying to drink more*)
Peeing at night - as much as 6 or 7 times at the peak (well, I'm drinking all that water before bed - of course I need to go at night! I'll just shut my water drinking off at 8pm)
These last two are the ones that got my wife noticing and urged me to see a doctor.
By the time I was seen, the vision got even worse to the point I was thinking about not driving myself. Blood test came back glucose 284, A1c 12.1. Urine glucose and Ketones were high as well. I guess that was DKA? By the time I got home, my hands were filled with pharmacy bags of insulin pen, tips, test kit, etc, and my brain spinning with questions, confusion, anger, disbelief and more questions. I have watched my T1 daughter-in-law and a few friends over the years jab themselves and thought "oh thats an unfortunate burden", but I never thought it would be me. How can this be? Surely this is temporary!? Over the next several days, I went through the various stages anger, depression, frustration, denial, etc, but my wife was there by my side researching and supporting me - and still is. I feel bad for those who are going through this alone.
I was literally afraid to eat for several days. I got in early to a dietician and she talked me down from the cliff, telling me I was causing more ketones by fasting and showed me what 15g of carbs looked like in various forms and set a 45g target per meal. I am still hesitant, and I am probably hitting more like 15-30 for "most" meals but not all.
Lately, my feelings have been mostly guilt about feeling bad for myself. I mean, this could have been a cancer diagnosis or something. There are plenty of people out there who have more than this to deal with, so "stop whining" I tell myself. I am not sure where I am emotionally at this point - I guess "acceptance" of a sort, but there are still a lot of unanswered questions. It seems like LADA is not even recognized in some places (if that is even what this is). It will be several more weeks before my endocrinologist appointment.
I'm on 12 units of the long acting insulin each night (almost 2 weeks now), and testing each morning. Glucose is dropping daily and is down to 122 fasting this morning, and ketones have dropped to "none" on the strips. All of the DKA symptoms have gone, but my vision is still wonky. Optometrist saw no retinal damage, so that is good, but last week, my vision went from nearsighted to farsighted in about 4 days and I'm wearing glasses for the first time in my life. I hope the fluctuating eyesight is temporary or at least settles down.
So yeah, thanks for reading. I had to get this off my chest.
submitted by rokhead22 to diabetes [link] [comments]
I am male, 56, fairly healthy eater, moderately active and at my best weight in 15 years due to intentional portion control and increased physical activity through yardwork and treadmill (in hindsight, I may have gotten some weight loss "help" from undiagnosed diabetes as well). Honestly, I've been feeling great until 2 weeks ago when I got a slap-in-the-face diabetes diagnosis as a reward for my diligence. GP said diabetes, but he refuses to give a type 1/2 clarification - he said "we'll let the Endocrinologist determine that". My research and test results seem to indicate LADA (negative autoantibodies, mildly positive GAD (39), DKA symptoms, strong auto-immune family history). A recent visit to a dietician sort of supported my suspicions, when she printed out a LADA info sheet and handed it to me without much comment.
It started with a variety of symptoms that you all know, but I was able to write each of them off with a shrug:
Distance vision started degrading (I had perfect vision all my life - hmmm...I must be getting old)
Overnight cramps in my legs and feet like they were in a vice (must have pulled something working in the garden or on the treadmill)
Ankle swelling (whats that about? twisted ankle maybe?)
Rapidly increasing desire for water like I could not get enough (well, its a healthy habit right? and I \have* been trying to drink more*)
Peeing at night - as much as 6 or 7 times at the peak (well, I'm drinking all that water before bed - of course I need to go at night! I'll just shut my water drinking off at 8pm)
These last two are the ones that got my wife noticing and urged me to see a doctor.
By the time I was seen, the vision got even worse to the point I was thinking about not driving myself. Blood test came back glucose 284, A1c 12.1. Urine glucose and Ketones were high as well. I guess that was DKA? By the time I got home, my hands were filled with pharmacy bags of insulin pen, tips, test kit, etc, and my brain spinning with questions, confusion, anger, disbelief and more questions. I have watched my T1 daughter-in-law and a few friends over the years jab themselves and thought "oh thats an unfortunate burden", but I never thought it would be me. How can this be? Surely this is temporary!? Over the next several days, I went through the various stages anger, depression, frustration, denial, etc, but my wife was there by my side researching and supporting me - and still is. I feel bad for those who are going through this alone.
I was literally afraid to eat for several days. I got in early to a dietician and she talked me down from the cliff, telling me I was causing more ketones by fasting and showed me what 15g of carbs looked like in various forms and set a 45g target per meal. I am still hesitant, and I am probably hitting more like 15-30 for "most" meals but not all.
Lately, my feelings have been mostly guilt about feeling bad for myself. I mean, this could have been a cancer diagnosis or something. There are plenty of people out there who have more than this to deal with, so "stop whining" I tell myself. I am not sure where I am emotionally at this point - I guess "acceptance" of a sort, but there are still a lot of unanswered questions. It seems like LADA is not even recognized in some places (if that is even what this is). It will be several more weeks before my endocrinologist appointment.
I'm on 12 units of the long acting insulin each night (almost 2 weeks now), and testing each morning. Glucose is dropping daily and is down to 122 fasting this morning, and ketones have dropped to "none" on the strips. All of the DKA symptoms have gone, but my vision is still wonky. Optometrist saw no retinal damage, so that is good, but last week, my vision went from nearsighted to farsighted in about 4 days and I'm wearing glasses for the first time in my life. I hope the fluctuating eyesight is temporary or at least settles down.
So yeah, thanks for reading. I had to get this off my chest.
2024.05.21 17:55 calvin324hk [H] 1000+ Games / DLCs / VR Games [W] Paypal / Wishlist / Offers
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submitted by calvin324hk to indiegameswap [link] [comments]
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- My Big Sister
- My Friend Peppa Pig
- My Lovely Wife
- My Summer Adventure: Memories of Another Life
- My Time At Portia
- Mythforce
- N++ (NPLUSPLUS)
- Napoleon: Total War - Definitive Edition
- Narcos: Rise of the Cartels
- NARUTO TO BORUTO: SHINOBI STRIKER
- NECROMUNDA: HIRED GUN
- Necronator: Dead Wrong
- NecroVisioN: Lost Company
- NecroWorm
- Neighbours back From Hell
- Nelly Cootalot: Spoonbeaks Ahoy! HD
- Neon Space
- Neon Space 2
- Neon Sundown
- Nephise: Ascension
- Neurodeck : Psychological Deckbuilder
- Never Alone Arctic Collection (w/ Foxtales DLC and FREE Soundtrack)
- Neverinth
- Neverout
- Neverwinter Nights: Complete Adventures
- Newt One
- Nexomon: Extinction
- Nigate Tale
- Nine Parchments
- Nine Witches: Family Disruption
- Nioh 2: The Complete Collection
- No Straight Roads: Encore Edition
- No Time to Relax
- Nomad Survival
- Nongunz: Doppelganger Edition
- Noosphere
- Northgard
- Northmark: Hour of the Wolf
- Nostradamus: The Last Prophecy
- not the robots
- Nurse Love Addiction
- Nurse Love Syndrome
- Nusakana
- Obduction
- Obey Me
- Observer: System Redux
- Occultus - Mediterranean Cabal
- Odallus: The Dark Call
- Oddworld: New 'n' Tasty
- One Finger Death Punch 2
- One Hand Clapping
- One More Island
- One Step From Eden
- One Step From Eden (Region locked)
- Orbital Racer
- Organs Please
- Out of Reach: Treasure Royale
- Out of Space
- Overclocked: A History of Violence
- Overlord: Ultimate Evil Collection
- Overpass
- Overruled
- OZYMANDIAS: BRONZE AGE EMPIRE SIM
- Pac-Man Museum +
- Pan'Orama
- Panty Party
- Panzer Corps 2
- Papo & Yo
- PARADISE LOST
- Parkan 2
- PARTISANS 1941
- Passpartout 2: The Lost Artist
- Pathfinder: Wrath of the Righteous
- Patron
- Paw Patrol: On A Roll!
- Paws of Coal
- Payday 2
- PAYDAY 2
- Peaky Blinders: Mastermind
- PER ASPERA
- Perfect
- PGA 2K21
- PGA Tour 2K21
- Pharaonic
- Pixplode
- Pizza Connection 3
- Plague tale
- Planescape: Torment Enhanced Edition
- Planet Alcatraz
- PLANET ZOO
- PlateUp!
- Pogostuck: Rage With Your Friends
- Poker Pretty Girls Battle: Texas Hold'em
- Police Stories
- Poly Island
- Post Void
- Power Rangers: Battle for the Grid
- Prank Call
- Prehistoric Kingdom
- Pretty Girls Mahjong Solitaire
- Pretty Girls Panic!
- Prey
- Primal Carnage: Extinction
- Princess Kaguya: Legend of the Moon Warrior
- Pro Cycling Manager 2020
- Prodeus
- Project CARS - GOTY Edition
- Project Warlock
- Project Wingman (EU)
- PROJECT WINTER
- Propnight
- PULSAR: The Lost Colony
- qomp
- Quadrilateral Cowboy
- Quake II
- Quantum Break
- Quern - Undying Thoughts
- Radio Commander
- RAGE
- RAILROAD CORPORATION
- Railroad Tycoon 3
- Railroad Tycoon II Platinum
- Railway Empire
- Rain World
- Rayon Riddles - Rise of the Goblin King
- Re: Legend
- REBEL COPS
- Rebel Galaxy
- Rebel Galaxy Outlaw
- Recipe For Disaster
- Red Faction Guerrilla Re-Mars-tered
- Red Faction: Armageddon
- Red Riding Hood - Star Crossed Lovers
- Red Ronin
- RED SOLSTICE 2: SURVIVORS
- Redout Complete Bundle
- Redout: Enhanced Edition
- Redout: Enhanced Edition + DLC pack
- Regular Human Basketball
- REKT! High Octane Stunts
- Relicta
- REMNANT: FROM THE ASHES - COMPLETE EDITION
- Republique
- Rescue Party: Live!
- Resident Evil 0 HD REMASTER
- Resident Evil 5 Gold Edition
- Resident Evil 7 Biohazard
- Resident Evil Revelations
- Resort Boss: Golf
- RETROWAVE
- rFactor 2
- RiME
- Ring of Pain
- Rise of Industry + 2130 DLC
- Rise of the Slime
- Rising Storm 2: Vietnam + 2 DLCs
- Riven: The Sequel to MYST
- River City Girls
- River City Ransom: Underground
- Roarr! Jurassic Edition
- Roboquest
- Robot Squad Simulator 2017
- Rogue : Genesia
- ROGUE HEROES: RUINS OF TASOS
- ROGUE LORDS
- Rogue Stormers
- rollercoaster tycoon 2
- ROTASTIC
- Roundguard
- ROUNDS
- RUNNING WITH RIFLES
- Rustler
- Ryse: Son of Rome
- S.W.I.N.E. HD Remaster
- Sailing Era
- Saint Row
- Saints Row 2
- Saints Row: Gat Out of Hell
- Sam and Max Devil's Playhouse
- SAMUDRA
- Sands of Aura
- Sands of Salzaar
- Saturday Morning RPG
- Save Room - Organization Puzzle
- Scarlet Tower
- Scorn
- SCP: 5K
- SCUM
- SEARCH PARTY: Director's Cut
- Second Extinction
- Secret Government
- Serious Sam 3 Bonus Content DLC, Serious Sam 3: Jewel of the Nile, and Serious Sam 3: BFE
- SEUM speedrunners from hell
- SEUM: Speedrunners from Hell
- Severed Steel
- Shadow Tactics: Aiko's Choice
- Shadowgate
- SHADOWS: AWAKENING
- Shape of the World
- She Sees Red - Interactive Movie
- Shenmue I & II
- SHENZHEN I/O
- Shift Happens
- Shing!
- Shoppe Keep 2 - Business and Agriculture RPG Simulation
- Shotgun King: The Final Checkmate
- Sid Meier's Civilization VI
- Sid Meier's Railroads!
- Sifu Deluxe Edition Upgrade Bundle (EPIC)
- Silver Chains
- SimCity 4 Deluxe Edition
- Sinking Island
- SINNER: Sacrifice for Redemption
- Siralim Ultimate
- Skautfold Chapters 1-4
- Skullgirls 2nd Encore
- Slain: Back from Hell
- Slap City
- Slash It
- Slash It 2
- Slash It Ultimate
- Slay the Spire
- Small World
- Smart Factory Tycoon
- Smile For Me
- Smoke and Sacrifice
- Smoke and Sacrifice
- Smushi Come Home
- Snail bob 2 tiny troubles
- Sniper Elite 3
- Sniper Elite 3 + Season Pass DLC
- Sniper Elite 4 Deluxe Edition
- Sniper Ghost Warrior 3 - Season Pass Edition
- Sniper Ghost Warrior Contracts
- Snooker 19
- SONG OF HORROR COMPLETE EDITION
- Songs of Conquest
- Sonic Adventure 2
- Sonic Adventure DX
- Sonic and SEGA All Stars Racing
- Sonic Generations Collection
- Soulblight
- Souldiers
- SOULSTICE
- Soundfall
- Source of Madness
- Spartan Fist
- Spec Ops
- Speed Limit
- Spelunx and the Caves of Mr. Seudo
- Spidersaurs
- Spin Rush
- Spirit Hunter: Death Mark
- Spirit of the Island
- Spirit of the North
- Spring Bonus
- Stairs
- STAR WARS - Knights of the Old Republic
- STAR WARS - The Force Unleashed Ultimate Sith Edition
- Star Wolves
- Starsand
- STASIS: Bone Totem
- State of Decay 2: Juggernaut Edition
- Steel Rats™
- Stick Fight: The Game
- Still Life
- Still Life 2
- Stirring Abyss
- STONE
- Strange Brigade
- Strange Brigade Deluxe Edition
- STRANGER
- Strategic Command: World War I
- Strategic Mind: Blitzkrieg
- Strategic Mind: Fight for Freedom
- Strategic Mind: Spectre of Communism
- Strategic Mind: Spirit of Liberty
- Strategy & Tactics: Wargame Collection
- Streamer Life Simulator
- Street Fighter V
- Strider
- Strikey Sisters
- Stygian: Reign of the Old Ones
- Styx: Master of Shadows
- Styx: Shards of Darkness
- SuchArt
- Sudden Strike Gold
- Suite 776
- Sumoman
- Sunblaze
- SUNLESS BUNDLE
- Sunset Overdrive
- Super Buff HD
- Super Mag Bot
- Superbugs: Awaken
- Superhot
- Surgeon Simulator 2
- Survive the Nights
- Surviving Mars
- Surviving Mars
- Surviving The Aftermath
- Swag and Sorcery
- Sword Legacy Omen
- Sword of the Necromancer
- Swords and Soldiers 2 Shawarmageddon
- Syberia 3
- Symphonic Rain
- Symphony of War: The Nephilim Saga
- Synthwave Dream '85
- Tacoma
- Take Off - The Flight Simulator
- Tales
- Tales from the Borderlands
- Tales of Vesperia™: Definitive Edition
- Talk to Strangers
- Tallowmere
- Tangledeep
- Tank Mechanic Simulator
- Tannenberg
- Team Sonic Racing
- TEKKEN 7
- TEMTEM
- Terminus: Zombie Survivors
- Terror of Hemasaurus
- Textorcist
- Tharsis
- The Adventure Pals
- The Amazing American Circus
- The Anacrusis
- The Ascent
- The Battle of Polytopia
- The Battle of Polytopia *DLC1. Cymanti Tribe *DLC2. ∑∫ỹriȱŋ Tribe *DLC3. Aquarion Tribe *DLC4. Polaris Tribe
- The Blackout Club
- The Callisto Protocol™
- The Chess Variants Club
- The Citadel
- The Colonists
- The Dark Pictures Anthology: House of Ashes
- THE DARK PICTURES ANTHOLOGY: LITTLE HOPE
- The Darkest Tales
- The Dungeon Beneath
- The Dungeon of Naheulbeuk: The Amulet of Chaos
- The Elder Scrolls Adventures: Redguard
- The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind® Game of the Year Edition
- The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion® Game of the Year Edition
- The Elder Scrolls Online
- The Escapists 2
- THE GAME OF LIFE 2
- The Golf Club™ 2019 featuring PGA TOUR
- The Haunted Island, a Frog Detective Game
- The Hong Kong Massacre
- The Horror Of Salazar House
- The Innsmouth Case
- The Invisible Hours
- The Jackbox Party Pack 9
- The Knight Witch
- The Last Campfire
- The LEGO Movie 2 Videogame
- The Letter - Horror Visual Novel
- The Long Dark
- The Manhole: Masterpiece Edition
- The Mortuary Assistant
- The Mummy Demastered
- The Outer Worlds
- THE OUTER WORLDS: SPACER'S CHOICE EDITION
- THE PALE BEYOND
- The Quarry
- The Quarry deluxe
- The Ramp
- The Red Lantern
- The Rewinder
- The Sacred Tears TRUE
- The Sexy Brutale
- The Tarnishing of Juxtia
- The Tenants
- The Uncertain - The Last Quiet Day
- THE UNCERTAIN: LAST QUIET DAY
- The Uncertain: Light At The End
- The USB Stick Found in the Grass
- The Walking Dead
- The Walking Dead - 400 Days
- The Walking Dead Saints and Sinners
- The Walking Dead: A New Frontier
- The Walking Dead: Final Season
- The Walking Dead: Michonne - A Telltale Miniseries
- The Walking Dead: Saints & Sinners
- The Walking Dead: Season 1
- The Walking Dead: Season Two
- The Way
- The Wild At Heart
- The Wild Eight
- The Witness
- Them and Us
- They Bleed Pixels
- Thief of Thieves
- This War of Mine
- This Way Madness Lies
- Three Kingdom: The Journey
- Time on Frog Island
- Tinkertown
- Tiny Tina’s Wonderland(EU)
- TINY TINA'S WONDERLANDS CHAOTIC GREAT EDITION
- Tiny Troopers
- Tinykin
- Tinytopia
- TIS-100
- Titan Quest
- Tokyo Xanadu eX+
- Tools up
- Tooth and Tail
- Torchlight
- Total Tank Simulator
- Tour de France 2020
- Tower Unite
- Trail Out
- Trailblazers
- Trailmakers
- Train Sim World 3: Standard Edition
- Train Simulator Classic
- Train Valley 1
- Transport INC
- Treasure Hunter Simulator
- TRIBES OF MIDGARD
- Trine 4
- Trinity Fusion
- Trombone Champ
- Tropico 5 - Complete Collection
- Trover Saves the Universe
- Tunche
- Turmoil
- Turok 2: Seeds of Evil
- Twin Mirror
- Two Point Campus
- Two Point Hospital
- TYPECAST
- Tyrant's Blessing
- Ultimate Chicken Horse
- Ultimate Zombie Defense
- Ultra Space Battle Brawl
- Unavowed
- Undead Horde
- Unexplored 2: The Wayfarer's Legacy
- Unity of Command: Stalingrad Campaign
- Universim
- UNLOVED
- Unpacking
- Until I have you
- Unto The End
- Upside Down
- URU: Complete Chronicles
- Vagante
- Valfaris
- Valfaris: Mecha Therion
- Valkryia Chronicles 4 Complete Edition
- Valkyria Chronicles 4 Complete Edition
- Valkyria Chronicles 4: Complete Edition
- Vambrace: Cold Soul
- Vampire Survivors
- Vectronom
- Velocity Noodle
- Venba
- Verne: The Shape of Fantasy
- Victoria 3
- Victoria II
- Viking: Battle For Asgard
- Virgo Versus The Zodiac
- VirtuaVerse
- Visage
- Viscerafest
- Void Bastards
- VOIDIGO
- Volcanoids
- Voltage High Society
- V-Rally 4
- Wanderlust: Travel Stories (GOG)
- Wargroove
- Warhammer 40,000 Sanctus Reach - Complete Edition
- Warhammer 40,000: Armageddon - Imperium Complete
- Warhammer 40,000: Battlesector
- Warhammer 40,000: Gladius - Relics of War
- Warhammer 40,000: Mechanicus
- Warhammer 40,000: Space Wolf Special Edition
- WARHAMMER AGE OF SIGMAR: REALMS OF RUIN – ULTIMATE EDITION
- Warhammer vermintide collector's edition
- Warhammer: End Times - Vermintide
- Warhammer: Vermintide 2
- Warman
- Wasteland 3
- Wayward
- WE NEED TO GO DEEPER
- We should talk.
- We Were Here Together
- We Were Here Too
- Webbed
- What Lies in the Multiverse
- When Ski Lifts Go Wrong
- while True: learn()
- Whos Your daddy
- Wick
- Windward
- Witch It
- Witchy Life Story
- wizard of legends
- Wolfenstein 3D
- Worms Rumble
- WRC 6 FIA World Rally Championship
- WRC 7 FIA World Rally Championship
- WWE 2K Battlegrounds
- WWE 2K23
- WWZ Aftermath
- Wytchwood
- X-COM: COMPLETE PACK
- XCOM: ULTIMATE COLLECTION
- XIII - Classic
- X-Morph: Defense + European Assault, Survival of the Fittest, and Last Bastion DLC
- X-Morph: Defense Complete Pack
- Yakuza Kiwami
- Yakuza: Like A Dragon
- Yumeutsutsu Re:After
- Yumeutsutsu Re:Master
- Zen Chess: Mate in One, Mate in 2 , Mate in 3 , Mate in 4 , Champion's Moves (5 games)
- Ziggurat
- Zombie Army 4
- Zombie Army Trilogy
- Zool Redimensioned
- For The King: Lost Civilization Adventure Pack
- Train Simulator: Isle of Wight Route Add-On
- Train Simulator: Woodhead Electric Railway in Blue Route Add-On
- Train Simulator: North Somerset Railway Route Add-On
- Train Simulator: Union Pacific Heritage SD70ACes Loco Add-On
- Train Simulator: London to Brighton Route Add-On
- BR Class 170 'Turbostar' DMU Add-On
- DB BR 648 Loco Add-On
- Europa Universalis IV: Wealth of Nations
- Expansion - Europa Universalis IV: Conquest of Paradise
- Expansion - Europa Universalis IV: Res Publica
- Grand Central Class 180 'Adelante' DMU Add-On
- Peninsula Corridor: San Francisco - Gilroy Route Add-On
- SONIC ADVENTURE 2: BATTLE
- Small World - A Spider's Web
- Small World - Cursed
- Small World - Royal Bonus
- The Dungeon Of Naheulbeuk: The Amulet Of Chaos - Goodies Pack
- The Dungeon Of Naheulbeuk: The Amulet Of Chaos - OST
- Thompson Class B1 Loco Add-On
- Total War: Shogun 2 - Rise of the Samurai
- Train Sim World® 3: Birmingham Cross-city line
- Train Sim World®: BR Class 20 'Chopper' Loco
- Train Sim World®: Brighton Main Line: London Victoria - Brighton
- Train Sim World®: Caltrain MP36PH-3C 'Baby Bullet'
- Train Sim World®: Cathcart Circle Line: Glasgow - Newton & Neilston
- Train Sim World®: Clinchfield Railroad: Elkhorn - Dante
- Train Sim World®: Great Western Express
- Train Sim World®: Hauptstrecke Hamburg - Lubeck
- Train Sim World®: LIRR M3 EMU
- Train Sim World®: Long Island Rail Road: New York - Hicksville
- Train Sim World®: Nahverkehr Dresden - Riesa
- Train Sim World®: Northern Trans-Pennine: Manchester - Leeds
- Train Sim World®: Peninsula Corridor: San Francisco - San Jose
- Train Sim World®: Rhein-Ruhr Osten: Wuppertal - Hagen
- Train Sim World®: Tees Valley Line: Darlington - Saltburn-by-the-sea
- Worms Rumble - Armageddon Weapon Skin Pack
- Worms Rumble - Captain & Shark Double Pack
- Worms Rumble - Legends Pack
- Worms Rumble - New Challengers Pack
- Ashampoo Photo Optimizer 7
- Dagon: by H. P. Lovecraft - The Eldritch Box DLC
- Duke Nukem Forever Hail to the Icons
- Duke Nukem Forever The Doctor Who Cloned Me
- GRIP: Combat Racing - Cygon Garage Kit
- GRIP: Combat Racing - Nyvoss Garage Kit
- GRIP: Combat Racing - Terra Garage Kit
- GRIP: Combat Racing - Vintek Garage Kit
- GameGuru
- GameMaker Studio 2 Creator 12 Months
- Intro to Game Development with Unity
- Music Maker EDM Edition
- Neverwinter Nights: Darkness Over Daggerford
- Neverwinter Nights: Enhanced Edition Dark Dreams of Furiae
- Neverwinter Nights: Enhanced Edition Tyrants of the Moonsea
- Neverwinter Nights: Enhanced Edition
- Neverwinter Nights: Infinite Dungeons
- Neverwinter Nights: Pirates of the Sword Coast
- Neverwinter Nights: Wyvern Crown of Cormyr
- PDF-Suite 1 Year License
- Pathfinder Second Edition Core Rulebook and Starfinder Core Rulebook
- RPG Maker VX
- WWE 2K BATTLEGROUNDS - Ultimate Brawlers Pass
- We Are Alright
- The Outer Worlds Expansion Pass
- A Hat in Time - Seal the Deal DLC
- City Skylines:mass transit
- A Game Of Thrones - A Dance With Dragons
- A Game Of Thrones - A Feast For Crows
- Blood Rage: Digital Edition - Gods of Asgard
- Blood Rage: Digital Edition - Mythical Monsters
- Blood Rage: Digital Edition - Mystics of Midgard
- Carcassonne - The Princess and The Dragon DLC
- Carcassonne - Traders & Builders DLC
- Carcassonne - Winter & Gingerbread Man DLC
- Carcassonne - Inns & Cathedrals
- Carcassonne - The River
- Splendor: The Trading Posts DLC
- Splendor: The Strongholds DLC
- Splendor: The Cities DLC
- Small World - Be Not Afraid... DLC
- Small World - Grand Dames DLC
- Small World - Cursed!
- Sands of Salzaar - The Ember Saga
- Sands of Salzaar - The Tournament
- Monster Train: The Last Divinity DLC
- WARSAW
2024.05.21 17:55 calvin324hk [H] 1000+ Games / DLCs / VR Games [W] Paypal / Wishlist / Offers
https://www.reddit.com/IGSRep/comments/pikmri/calvin324hks_igs_rep_page/
https://www.reddit.com/sgsflaicomments/of2wzu/flair_profile_ucalvin324hk/
Wishlist
Region: NA (Canada)
Fees on buyer if any, currency is USD unless specified
CTRL + F to find your games in terms of name
DLCs and Softwares:
submitted by calvin324hk to SteamGameSwap [link] [comments]
https://www.reddit.com/sgsflaicomments/of2wzu/flair_profile_ucalvin324hk/
Wishlist
Region: NA (Canada)
Fees on buyer if any, currency is USD unless specified
CTRL + F to find your games in terms of name
- 10 Second Ninja X
- 11-11 Memories Retold
- 112 Operator
- 12 is Better Than 6
- 198X
- 1993 Space Machine
- 60 Parsecs
- 7 Billion Humans
- 8 DOORS
- 8-bit Adventure Anthology: Volume I
- 9 Years of Shadows
- 911 Operator
- A Game of Thrones: The Board Game
- A Hat in Time
- A Hole New World
- A JUGGLER'S TALE
- A Long Way Down
- A PLAGUE TALE: INNOCENCE
- A Robot Named Fight!
- A Tale for Anna
- A.I.M.2 Clan Wars
- Abalon (Summoners Fate)
- Ace Combat Assault Horizon Enhanced Edition
- Adore
- Aeterna Noctis
- AETHERIS
- Agatha Christie Hercule Poirot The First Cases
- AIdol
- Airborne Kingdom
- Alba: A Wildlife Adventure
- Alder's Blood: Definitive Edition
- Alfred Hitchcock - Vertigo
- Alien Breed Trilogy
- Aliens vs. Predator™ Collection
- All-Star Fruit Racing
- Almost There: The Platformer
- American Fugitive
- American Truck Simulator
- Amerzone: The Explorer’s Legacy
- AMID EVIL
- Amnesia rebirth
- Amnesia: The Dark Descent + Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs
- Anomalous
- Another World – 20th Anniversary Edition
- Antigraviator
- Anuchard
- APICO
- APICO
- Aragami
- Aragami 2
- Arboria
- Arcade Paradise
- Arcade Paradise - Arcade Paradise EP
- Arcade Spirits
- Arkham Horror: Mother's Embrace
- Armada 2526 Gold Edition
- Army Men RTS
- army of ruin
- Arto
- Ary and the Secret of Seasons
- As Far as the Eye
- Ascension to the Throne
- Assemble With Care
- Assetto Corsa Competizione
- Assetto Corsa Ultimate Edition
- Astebreed Definitive Edition
- Astro Colony
- Astronarch
- Attack of the Earthlings
- Automachef
- Automobilista
- Automobilista 2
- AUTONAUTS
- AUTONAUTS VS PIRATEBOTS
- Avatar: Frontiers of Pandora™ - Ubisoft Connect
- AVICII Invector: Encore Edition
- Awesomenauts All Nauts pack
- Axiom Verge
- Axiom Verge 2
- Baba is you
- Back 4 Blood
- Back 4 blood (EU)
- Backbone
- Baldur's Gate II: Enhanced Edition
- Baldur's Gate: Enhanced Edition
- Banners of Ruin
- Bartlow's Dread Machine
- BASEMENT
- Batbarian: Testament of the Primordials
- Batman: Arkham Asylum Game of the Year Edition
- Batman: Arkham Origins
- Battle Royale Tycoon
- Battlecruisers
- Battlestar Galactica Deadlock
- BATTLESTAR GALACTICA DEADLOCK SEASON ONE
- Battlestar Galactica Deadlock: Complete
- BATTLETECH MERCENARY COLLECTION
- BATTLETECH Shadow Hawk Pack
- BEAUTIFUL DESOLATION
- BEFORE WE LEAVE
- Beholder 2
- Ben 10
- Ben 10: Power Trip
- Bendy and the Ink Machine™
- Between the Stars
- Beyond a Steel Sky
- Beyond The Edge Of Owlsgard
- BEYOND THE WIRE
- Beyond: Two Souls
- BIOMUTANT
- Bionic Commando
- Bionic Commando Rearmed
- BioShock: The Collection
- BLACK BOOK
- Black Moon Chronicles
- Black Paradox
- BLACK SKYLANDS
- BLACKHOLE: Complete Edition
- Blacksad: Under the Skin
- Blade of Darkness
- Blasphemous
- Blazing Chrome
- Blightbound
- Blood And Zombies
- Blood Rage: Digital Edition
- Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night
- Bomber Crew
- Boneless Zombie
- Boomerang Fu
- Borderlands 3
- Borderlands 3 Super Deluxe
- Borderlands 3 Super Deluxe Edition
- Borderlands: The Handsome Collection
- Bot Vice
- Bounty of One
- Brawlout
- Breakout: Recharged
- Breathedge
- bridge constructor
- Bridge constructor medieval
- bridge constructor stunts
- Broken Lines
- Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons
- Brutal Legend
- Bug Fables: The Everlasting Sapling
- Buggos
- BUILDER SIMULATOR
- calico
- Call of Duty® Modern Warfare 3™ (2011)
- Call of Juarez: Gunslinger
- Car Mechanic 2018
- Car Mechanic Simulator 2015
- Car Mechanic Simulator 2018
- Cardboard Town
- Castle Morihisa
- Castle on the Coast
- castle storm
- CastleStorm
- Cat Cafe Manager
- Caveblazers
- Celeste
- Centipede: Recharged
- CHANGE: A Homeless Survival Experience
- Charlie's Adventure
- Chenso Club
- Chernobylite: Enhanced Edition
- Chess Ultra
- Chicago 1930 : The Prohibition
- Chivalry 2
- Chop Goblins
- Chorus
- Circuit Superstars
- Cities Skylines + After Dark
- Cities: Skylines
- City of Beats
- CivCity: Rome
- Click and Slay
- Cloud Gardens
- Cloudpunk
- Code Vein
- Coffee Talk
- Comedy Night
- Command & Conquer Remastered (Origin)
- Complete Dread X Collection
- Conarium
- Construction Simulator (2015) Deluxe Edition
- Constructor Plus
- Control
- Cook, Serve, Delicious! 3?!
- Cookie Cutter
- cornucopia
- Corridor Z
- Cosmic Osmo and the Worlds Beyond the Mackerel
- Cosmonautica
- Crash Drive 2
- Crash Drive 3
- Creaks
- Creepy Tale
- Crookz the big heist
- CROSSBOW: Bloodnight
- Crush Your Enemies
- Cube Runner
- Cultist Simulator: Anthology Edition
- Curse: The Eye of Isis
- Cyber Ops
- Cybercube
- Danger Scavenger
- Dark Deity
- DARK PICTURES ANTHOLOGY: HOUSE OF ASHES
- Darkwood
- DARQ: Complete Edition
- Day of the Tentacle Remastered
- days of war definitive edition
- Dead by Daylight
- Dead Estate
- Dead Rising 2
- Dear Esther: Landmark Edition
- Death Stranding Directors Cut
- DEATH STRANDING DIRECTOR'S CUT
- Death's Gambit
- Deceased
- DECEIVE INC.
- Degrees of Separation
- Delicious! Pretty Girls Mahjong Solitaire
- Deliver Us The Moon
- Demetrios - Deluxe Edition
- Depraved
- DESCENDERS
- DESOLATE
- Destiny 2: Beyond Light
- DESTROYER: THE U-BOAT HUNTER
- Detention
- Devil May Cry HD Collection
- Devilated
- Dicey Dungeons
- Dirt 5
- dirt rally
- Dirt Rally 2.0
- Disaster Band
- Disciples III: Reincarnation
- Discolored
- DISTRAINT 2
- Distrust
- DmC: Devil May Cry
- Do Not Feed the Monkeys
- Don't Be Afraid
- Doomed Lands
- Door Kickers: Action Squad
- Doorways: Prelude
- Downfall
- Dragons Dogma Dark Arisen
- Dragon's Dogma: Dark Arisen
- Draugen
- Draw Slasher
- Drawful 2
- Dreams in the Witch House
- Dreamscaper
- DreamWorks Dragons: Dawn of New Riders
- DRIFT21
- Driftland: The Magic Revival
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2024.05.21 17:50 No_Pomegranate7134 Does Greece also have a tourism problem like Japan in terms of sites being crowded due to an overflow of tourists and their behaviors eventually started annoying the local Greek populace?
I know that for example in Japan, they are even installing a barrier to obstruct the view of Mt. Fuji, because the nearby towns are starting to get fed up with an overflow of tourists who stop at one particular spot just to take pictures of the mountain. That is not the only issue with the overflow of tourists within their country, in Kyoto specifically, it is way too crowded. What annoys me the most is about them taking pictures of Geisha everywhere, I get it they want to snap a picture, but keep in mind that they are humans and need some space. (They are now issuing a ¥10000 fine for violators.)
During the time Logan Paul visited Japan was the worst, as he went to the suicide forest and recorded footage of a DEAD BODY then proceed to laugh, he took the video down after receiving a ton of backlash. He's not the only one, Johnny Somali also did some shit that landed him in jail, such as entering a construction site, using a random guests room number to get himself 'free' breakfast without realizing that guest will be billed upon them checking out, all due to his stupid actions. Streamers like him who visit Japan are just dumb, taking advantage of others.
Japan is now enforcing stricter rules regarding filiming in public, there are even businesses that forbid both video and photography, so no streaming IRL. In general, Japanese are fed up and pissed off about tourists who disrespect their customs or completely disregard their culture, there are even foreigners who throw trash on the floor (due to Japan not having bins everywhere, even in public, they only exist at designated areas) so you have no choice but to carry your trash with you. They even throw trash not from the konbini into their bins!
There are even sacred sites in Japan (like shrines or temples) that have been vandalized, desecrated all because of tourist interaction, which is sad because it’s damaged, losing the integrity on why it’s important. There was a bamboo forest in which someone CARVED their initials on it, like “Don’t destroy the bamboo!” It pisses me off that they desecrate a site you are NOT meant to be treading on at all.
In hindsight:
submitted by No_Pomegranate7134 to greece [link] [comments]
During the time Logan Paul visited Japan was the worst, as he went to the suicide forest and recorded footage of a DEAD BODY then proceed to laugh, he took the video down after receiving a ton of backlash. He's not the only one, Johnny Somali also did some shit that landed him in jail, such as entering a construction site, using a random guests room number to get himself 'free' breakfast without realizing that guest will be billed upon them checking out, all due to his stupid actions. Streamers like him who visit Japan are just dumb, taking advantage of others.
Japan is now enforcing stricter rules regarding filiming in public, there are even businesses that forbid both video and photography, so no streaming IRL. In general, Japanese are fed up and pissed off about tourists who disrespect their customs or completely disregard their culture, there are even foreigners who throw trash on the floor (due to Japan not having bins everywhere, even in public, they only exist at designated areas) so you have no choice but to carry your trash with you. They even throw trash not from the konbini into their bins!
There are even sacred sites in Japan (like shrines or temples) that have been vandalized, desecrated all because of tourist interaction, which is sad because it’s damaged, losing the integrity on why it’s important. There was a bamboo forest in which someone CARVED their initials on it, like “Don’t destroy the bamboo!” It pisses me off that they desecrate a site you are NOT meant to be treading on at all.
In hindsight:
- Does Greece have an over tourism problem? If so, how bad is it?
- Are there any Greek sacred spots or monuments that have been desecrated by tourists?
- Are there instances of behaviors coming from tourists that annoy Greek people to the point the authorities are cracking down on bad behavior imposing harsher penalties or deportation?
- Do you know any sites that often get photographed way too often that people are considering on creating a barricade to obstruct the view of said place or site?
2024.05.21 17:43 BlueFishcake Sexy Steampunk Babes: Chapter Twenty Seven
William was just about to scoop another mouthful of porridge and berries into his mouth when someone scooted into the seat next to him.
“Marline.” He inclined his head before returning to breakfast.
A breakfast that, prior to his teammate’s arrival, had been blissfully free of noise or interruption.
Which made sense given that the ‘rise and shine’ bell wasn’t going to ring for another thirty minutes or so. To that end, the cafeteria was near empty, but for a few servants flitting around the place as they set tables or partook of their own breakfasts.
Breakfasts that were something of a step down from what was normally served at these tables, given that the usual heaped piles of hot sausages, crisp bacon and hearty eggs were still being prepared in the kitchens.
Still, on this occasion, that was fine by William. Sure, the main reason he’d told his team to rise a little earlier than normal was to allow them to dine in peace without being harassed by the rest of the rumour hungry student body, but it was also useful in that it somewhat limited some of his more… difficult teammate’s breakfast options.
“William,” the dark elf hissed as she leaned down. “We have a problem.”
Despite his early morning lethargy, those words managed to send something akin to a shiver up his spine.
“What!? What’s the problem?” he asked as he whirled around, remembering only at the last minute to keep his voice down.
Sure, the cafeteria was relatively empty of both staff and students, but it hadn’t escaped his notice that pretty much all of them had had their eyes on him since he sat down.
“What do you mean, ‘what’s the problem?’” Marline whispered furiously into his ear. “The fucking alchemy lab blew up last night.”
“Oh, that.” She’d gotten him all worked up for nothing. “Someone’s enchantment probably went awry after being kept in storage too long.”
That was a lie and they both knew it. He’d explained to Marline in great detail why trying to gain access to his storage room was a poor idea without him present. To that end, it was obvious that someone had attempted just that.
As such, the old alchemy building was now a smouldering ruin, with dozens of academy guards and at least one member of the palace guard sifting through the rubble when he walked past.
Or at least, they’d been watching over a dozen menial servants as they sifted through the rubble.
Still, no one had been too alarmed by it. It was hardly the first time the building had been destroyed after all.
Alchemy was by its nature a fairly dangerous art.
A form of homeopathic magic that attempted to imbue objects with magical abilities by combining them with conceptually similar items, it tended to both be prohibitively expensive and notoriously unreliable.
Left eyes from forty-year-old salamanders didn’t grow on trees after all. Nor testicles from albino bulls in heat. And that was the kind of specificity one needed to create a half-decent stamina potion.
There was a reason that alchemy was gradually being phased out in favour of the slower but more reliable art of enchanting.
“Yes, very unfortunate,” Marline said through gritted teeth. “But what about ‘our’ ingredients that were being kept in the building. It might be… dangerous of someone stumbled across them in the rubble.”
Dangerous? Gunpower couldn’t explode more than…
“Oh, you’re talking about the gift we were holding for your family?” He realized.
“Yes!”
“Why didn’t you check last night?” he asked.
“...I tend to wear earplugs when I sleep,” Marline admitted reluctantly. “Given… Verity.”
William glanced towards the young woman’s long elven ears and thought about their orcish teammate’s tendency to snore like she was trying to wake the dead. The inner walls of their dorm weren’t particularly thick and Marline’s room was right next to the other girl’s.
Yeah, he could see why she might have invested in some hearing protection.
A decent set of earplugs wouldn’t drown out the noise of the morning bell, but they’d be more than capable of drowning out the distant whumph of an alchemy lab going up on the opposite side of the campus.
He momentarily wondered if the noise had caused any of his other teammates to get up, before dismissing the idea.
Strange noises in the middle of the night were far from unusual in a military academy and usually best ignored unless you had a very good reason to think they might involve you.
“Well, it’s not a problem,” he whispered. “I moved it last night before heading back to the dorm.”
The look of relief on the dark elf’s face was palpable, before it gave way to confusion. “Why?”
He shrugged. “For the same reason I booby-trapped the storage room in the first place. Once it got out that I had a mithril core – and might have had something to do with Al’Hundra’s death, well it seemed like there was a decent chance someone might go snooping around places I might want to hide something.”
And the alchemy lab was just about the first place someone would think of right after their team’s dorm room.
Fortunately for him, there were a few places that were quite impractical for hiding something long-term, but pretty ideal in the short term.
And just so long as Marline’s aunts arrived before next Welday, the mithril core would be safe.
Though as he gazed down at the bowl of porridge in front of him, he found his appetite wasn’t quite what it had been just a few moments ago.
“So where’d you hide it?” Marline asked excitedly, clearly relieved that her family’s future wasn’t currently buried in rubble.
William paused as he considered how to answer that question. Something his teammate was quick to notice.
“William,” she prompted. “Where’s my family’s core?”
He gazed down at his bowl, still thinking.
“William!” she shouted as best she could while still whispering.
“The safest place I could think of. Somewhere it’d be covered completely and no one would voluntarily look.”
“Voluntarily?” Marline said. “Covered?”
Credit where credit was due, no one had ever accused his teammate of being slow on the uptake. At least, where politics wasn’t concerned. So it was that it wasn’t long before he witnessed her expression morph from confusion to horror… to rage.
“You buried my family’s mithril core in the latrines?!” she hissed.
William scratched his chin awkwardly as he avoided her furious gaze. “More like dropped. I didn’t need to bury it because it sank on its own. Which is good given I wasn’t quite sure of the relative buoyancy of mithril in… well… you know.”
In his defence, it had seemed like a good idea at the time. Indeed, if one were to be purely objective about the whole thing, it still was. The core was safely hidden at the bottom of one of the lesser used latrine pits. The bottom mounted… storage vats of which were pulled out and emptied into the bay once a week.
It was a fairly old fashioned system, given the existence of indoor plumbing across the rest of the academy. Indeed, he suspected the latrines were only kept around to serve as a form of punishment duty for any cadets that happened to royally piss off their instructors.
“They’ll be safe there until Welday,” William argued weakly. “At which point your aunts can collect them without anyone being the wiser.”
“Collect them from the latrine’s storage vats!” Marline hissed, slamming her head into the table. “Ancestors, the future of our house is now literally swimming in shit.”
Gingerly, William moved to pat the dark elf on the back. “Ah, but at least it’s safe.”
Once more he glanced away as two silver eyes peeked out angrily from between the girl’s arms.
Needless to say, he was rather glad for the eventual arrival of the rest of their team – even if Bonnlyn chose to complain at length about the fact that she was going to be forced to dine on ‘twigs and berries’ – as opposed to the gut busting pile of vaguely food shaped grease she normally chose to partake of in a morning.
Still, at least Marline had stopped glaring at him by the time they’d all finished eating – escaping just before the first of their fellow cadets piled noisily into the cafeteria.
It was actually rather amusing, that for all that the coming match had obvious implications for the country as a whole, in theory it was simply another practice match between two groups of cadets.
To that end, there was no great ceremony as the members of Team Seven made their way through the double doors leading to the Floats. There, as per usual, stood the members of the opposing team along with an Instructor from a ‘neutral’ house.
Never mind that the great bleachers to each side of the faux-ships were filled with eager spectators when they were normally all-but bare. Or that not one of the viewing orbs bolted to the gantries overhead was bereft of the ambient glow that signified they were in use.
Half the noble houses in the country were likely watching the events that were about to unfold through those crystalline orbs. Though William had to wonder if the Queen was one of them or if she was present in person, simply hidden behind whatever magic she used to render herself and her guards invisible.
Still, as he gazed upon the spectacle around them, William couldn’t help but be reminded of just how impressive a construction the Floats were, the stadium sized building hosting not just the ships that made up the field, but room for spectators, viewing orbs, staff and a myriad other smaller facilities that each worked to allow the practice matches to occur.
With that in mind, one notable absence from the building’s usual occupants was hard to miss.
“Where are all the sailors and marines?” Olzenya asked.
“I don’t know,” William said as they continued walking towards Tala and her team. “Maybe they’re already onboard?”
He doubted it though. He’d have been able to see people moving about inside the great vessels or marching across the deck.
No, something was amiss here.
Still, he’d known there was a possibility of House Blackstone attempting something. And the absence of the Float’s usual staff was likely to be related.
Nothing for it now, he thought. Whatever they’ve done can’t be too overt.
The Principal of the Academy might have been in New Haven’s pocket – which made her an ally of House Blackstone – but even her power had limits with the Crown and half the country watching.
“Ma’am,” William said as he came to a stop before the Instructor from House Summerfield. “Team Seven reporting.”
Instructor Halfin, ironically the woman who’d first introduced his team to the floats glowered at him.
“I don’t like this,” she said without preamble, her voice raised loudly enough that it was clear she was aiming her words not just at him, but Tala and the rest of the world besides. “The Academy and the Floats are supposed to be a training environment for the future leadership of the nation as a whole. Not a pissing ground for idiotic adolescents.”
“I didn’t choose the venue, ma’am.” Even as she spoke, Tala’s gaze stayed on William.
“And I didn’t ask your opinion, cadet.” Halfin’s words were biting as she turned towards the third-year. “The only opinion that matters here is mine. Not yours. Not his. Not your mummy’s. And not the rest of these upjumped cretins.”
Her hand flew out to encompass the veritable circus that were the stands. “So, with that in mind you can believe me when I say that my only concern is getting through this farce as efficiently and as fairly as possible. I don’t give a shit about what’s on the line or who doesn’t want to marry who. All that matters to me is whether or not you have wax or paint on your breastplate or enough harpy-venom in your system to put you down for the count.”
Both Tala’s and William’s eyes widened a little at that.
“Wax, ma’am? Paint?” Tala said.
The older woman grunted. “You heard me, and that’s all I’ll say on the matter. Let it be known I’m not happy about it. Nor about the fact that half the sailors on base have apparently come down with the shits.”
Ah, so that was why the float’s usual crew was missing. Clearly the work of House Blackstone, though to what end William was yet unsure.
Are they trying to delay the match? He thought.
That wouldn’t be ideal for a number of reasons – most of which centred around it giving House Blackstone more time to sabotage him and his team. There’d been a damn good reason he chose to have their match literally a day after he challenged her.
“This has naturally affected my ability to run a normal Float match. Normally that would be grounds for delaying this whole farce,” Halfin continued, tone darkening as she spoke the next few words. “But it has been ‘suggested’ to me by a number of parties that doing so would be impractical. So, we shall instead be making use of one of the scenarios available to us that does not require the use of regular crewmembers.”
She gestured towards the area between the two faux ships, the football field sized stretch of land normally empty but for a few overhead nets designed to catch falling cadets.
That wasn’t the case today. Instead, the area had been filled with a tangled mess of pre-fabricated structures and various other bits of paraphernalia.
“Airship down,” the Instructor said, and after a moment’s observation, William realized that the stretch of land really did look like what you might have seen if an airship crashed into it.
Assuming said airship crashed with enough force to scatter its component parts around rather than remain as a fairly battered single object. Which, given the heights said ships could drop from, wasn’t beyond the realm of possibility.
“Our third year cadets will be familiar with this scenario, but I will explain it briefly for our first years.” Again, there was no mistaking just how unhappy Halfin was with all of this. “In short, an allied or enemy airship has crashed in neutral territory. Both sides of the conflict have dispatched a mage strike team to search the wreckage for the ship’s core so as to deny it to the enemy. Unfortunately, neither side can effectively search said wreckage until the other strike team has been completely eliminated.”
Halfin’s gaze turned towards his team. “To clarify, do not let the flavor text of this scenario fool you. There is no core within the wreckage in this scenario. The only way to win is to completely eliminate the opposing team.”
Over the woman’s shoulder, William didn’t miss the small smile that flitted across his fiancee’s features.
Ah, so that’s her game, he thought.
Oh, he didn’t doubt she would have preferred this whole engagement be delayed so as to allow her more time to stack the deck, but on short notice simply changing the scenario to this still helped her.
Theoretically.
It reduced the number of ‘wild card’ factors that might benefit him or his team. No crew members. No orbs to collect. Just a straight up fight between the two teams.
Sure, said wild cards could have just as easily worked in Tala’s favour, but given the skill disparity between the two groups, it benefited her to reduce the number of random vectors present in the coming fight.
Plus, it also had his team attempting to navigate an unfamiliar scenario.
Well played, he thought.
“Any issue with that, cadets?” Halfin said as she finished her explanation.
“None at all,” William said before the rest of his team could interrupt, noting the small pout of disappointment that flitted across Tala’s face.
She’d probably wanted him to kick up a fuss and force the match to be delayed for the reasons he’d thought of before.
Alas, she wasn’t that lucky.
No, for better or for worse this was happening here and now.
Sure, it wasn’t an ideal scenario, but he could make it work for him. It simply required him to pull out another trick that he’d been hoping to hold onto for just a little while longer.
Amusingly, Halfin also looked a little disappointed. The woman had probably wanted the match delayed on principle. It was clear both his new weapon and Tala’s interference rubbed her the wrong way.
Though as he had the thought, he was pleasantly surprised to see there was at least one woman in the academy who placed her duty as an educator and impartial judge above politics.
Indeed, if she had a reputation for such, that was likely part of the reason why she’d been selected for this match as a compromise between the Crown and the Blackstones.
“Well, if that’s all, then you’ve got ten minutes to check out your weapons and get to your starting positions.” Halfin grunted, before she seemed to remember something. “And I suppose I’ll take possession of the ‘bet’ now.”
There was no missing the disdain in the woman’s voice, which actually made William feel a bit better as he gestured over to Verity.
Unslinging the backpack she’d carried all the way over, the girl still looked more than a little awed as she unveiled the glowing metal orb. It was actually a little amusing, the mixture of relief and reluctance that crossed her features as she handed it over to the Instructor.
An instructor who was apparently not entirely carved from stone, as she somewhat reverently accepted the object.
Even the distant stands hushed down a bit as the bowling ball sized core changed hands.
Of course, it was barely a second before the moment was interrupted.
“Of course you’d have the orc carry it,” Tala grunted, her tone resigned.
Verity flinched back at the words and every other member of his team – including Olzenya leaned forward to argue – but William forestalled them all with a simple raised hand.
“Of course I did,” he said simply. “She’s a valuable member of my team and I trust her. Far more than certain other individuals present.”
A core could also be deceptively heavy despite its ability to produce lighter than air aether and he had no real desire to carry it all the way across campus. It also went unsaid that Verity was best equipped to intercept any… opportunistic thieves.
Indeed, he’d have paid to see some enterprising moron attempt to wrestle the bag holding the core off his orcish teammate on the walk over here.
It hadn’t happened of course, the possibility had always been an outlier at best, but given the stakes it had seemed better to err on the side of caution.
…It had also been amusing to see the myriad emotions that had flashed across the faces of most of the team when he quite casually tossed the bag holding the core to the orc. One would almost think he’d just thrown a baby at her.
Indeed, the only one who’d not been affected had been Marline, who’d just looked quietly resigned.
Which was still fun in its own way.
It was a little childish perhaps coming from a man ‘his age’, but that same age was what gave him the experience to know that sometimes life was about being a little silly and enjoying the small things.
And what better silly fun was there than teasing a bunch of far too serious kids by throwing around a basically indestructible ball of magical space metal?
Of course, given the flash of irritation that shot across Tala’s face, it was clear she thought his smile was an accompaniment to his taunt.
However, before she could say anything, Halfin scooped up the core. “Well, I’ll be holding onto this until the match is over. At which point I shall hand it to whomever I deem to be the victor.” For just a moment, her expression softened. “You can rest assured, both of you, that I shan’t let it out of my sight or off my person for the duration of the match. This I swear – even if I’m irritated at this whole situation.”
William and Tala both nodded, accepting the solemness of the woman’s impromptu oath.
“Alright,” she said, slinging the thing under her arm as she returned to her previous acerbic personality. “You’ve got ten minutes to collect your weapons and be at your designated spots for the beginning of the match. Anyone not in the correct place at the correct time will be considered eliminated for the purposes of this match. Dismissed.”
With her bit said, she strode away, no doubt up to the judges tower - which had an eagle’s eye view of the entire arena.
Leaving two teams of rather combative cadets behind.
Ten minutes was more than enough time to collect their gear, so William allowed himself a few seconds to simply gaze at Tala’s team.
“Finally realizing how outclassed you are, William?” Tala sneered.
It was funny, normally that kind of open disdain was beneath her. Sure, she’d yelled at him before, but to his mind that was more of an expression of frustration than animosity.
Here and now though?
She hated him.
And he revelled in it.
Not because he hated her. He didn’t. Even if they were enemies. At worst he’d say he pitied her for her ignorance and worldview.
Much like him and his otherworldly views, she was a product of her environment.
She wasn’t evil. At least not in an intentional sense. Indeed, by the standards of this world she was actually a good person.
Loyal. Dutiful. Hardworking.
Simply in service to an institution that he abhorred.
With that in mind, the reason why he relished in her disdain was simple.
It meant that he was now worthy of it in her mind. No longer an irritating non-factor that refused to play along, his actions now had consequences.
He’d earned her animosity honestly.
He was a factor. A person.
It felt good.
“Just counting the numbers,” he said. “Some part of me wondered if you might be a team member or two short.”
Indeed, the fact that he’d hoped for the murder of a young man or woman last night was something he counted amongst the least of his sins. There’d be a great many more of those to come.
Still, ignorant of his thoughts, the girl stiffened, all but confirming his suspicions as her mind no doubt turned towards last night’s explosion.
It had been her people who’d tried to raid his alchemy storage room – though it seemed she’d not been so foolish as to send anyone on her team to accomplish the job. In all likelihood the unfortunate fools who’d run afoul of his trap had likely been little more than paid off servants or some other kind of catspaw.
Irrelevant in the scheme of things ultimately and chosen for that very reason. Unfortunate, but hoping that his enemy would be a teammate or two down had ever been a long shot.
“I’ve no idea what you’re talking about,” Tala said. “My teammates are all ready and eager to serve not only me, but to honour their family names as well through that service. Though I know that’s a concept most alien to you.”
Around her, four other members of the girls team stood up a little straight, animosity burning in their gaze as they silently regarded his team with disdain.
Disdain his own team was quite happy to level back – if only out of loyalty to him.
Still, it was funny; Tala was more right than she knew. The values of this world were in many ways alien to him despite having lived here for nearly two decades.
“I suppose you’re right,” he chuckled. “To that end, I’ll see you in the arena.”
He took a moment to enjoy the look of puzzlement on his foe’s face at his placid rejoinder, before he strode away, his team falling in behind him.
Though as he walked, he made sure to turn to each of them. “Make sure to double check all of our equipment. If Tala was able to give half the Float staff food poisoning last night, I wouldn’t put it past her to be able to tamper with our equipment.”
Each of the girls nodded seriously at his words, no doubt leery of discovering a razor blade or some other such implement in one of their boots. Or that their bolt-bow had a faulty intake valve.
Indeed, the only piece of equipment William could theoretically have been sure of was that which he was currently wearing and the spell-bolts that would have been delivered clandestinely at the last minute by either Griffith or a palace guard.
And even then, what the fuck is this about wax and paint rather than rubber? He thought.
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“Marline.” He inclined his head before returning to breakfast.
A breakfast that, prior to his teammate’s arrival, had been blissfully free of noise or interruption.
Which made sense given that the ‘rise and shine’ bell wasn’t going to ring for another thirty minutes or so. To that end, the cafeteria was near empty, but for a few servants flitting around the place as they set tables or partook of their own breakfasts.
Breakfasts that were something of a step down from what was normally served at these tables, given that the usual heaped piles of hot sausages, crisp bacon and hearty eggs were still being prepared in the kitchens.
Still, on this occasion, that was fine by William. Sure, the main reason he’d told his team to rise a little earlier than normal was to allow them to dine in peace without being harassed by the rest of the rumour hungry student body, but it was also useful in that it somewhat limited some of his more… difficult teammate’s breakfast options.
“William,” the dark elf hissed as she leaned down. “We have a problem.”
Despite his early morning lethargy, those words managed to send something akin to a shiver up his spine.
“What!? What’s the problem?” he asked as he whirled around, remembering only at the last minute to keep his voice down.
Sure, the cafeteria was relatively empty of both staff and students, but it hadn’t escaped his notice that pretty much all of them had had their eyes on him since he sat down.
“What do you mean, ‘what’s the problem?’” Marline whispered furiously into his ear. “The fucking alchemy lab blew up last night.”
“Oh, that.” She’d gotten him all worked up for nothing. “Someone’s enchantment probably went awry after being kept in storage too long.”
That was a lie and they both knew it. He’d explained to Marline in great detail why trying to gain access to his storage room was a poor idea without him present. To that end, it was obvious that someone had attempted just that.
As such, the old alchemy building was now a smouldering ruin, with dozens of academy guards and at least one member of the palace guard sifting through the rubble when he walked past.
Or at least, they’d been watching over a dozen menial servants as they sifted through the rubble.
Still, no one had been too alarmed by it. It was hardly the first time the building had been destroyed after all.
Alchemy was by its nature a fairly dangerous art.
A form of homeopathic magic that attempted to imbue objects with magical abilities by combining them with conceptually similar items, it tended to both be prohibitively expensive and notoriously unreliable.
Left eyes from forty-year-old salamanders didn’t grow on trees after all. Nor testicles from albino bulls in heat. And that was the kind of specificity one needed to create a half-decent stamina potion.
There was a reason that alchemy was gradually being phased out in favour of the slower but more reliable art of enchanting.
“Yes, very unfortunate,” Marline said through gritted teeth. “But what about ‘our’ ingredients that were being kept in the building. It might be… dangerous of someone stumbled across them in the rubble.”
Dangerous? Gunpower couldn’t explode more than…
“Oh, you’re talking about the gift we were holding for your family?” He realized.
“Yes!”
“Why didn’t you check last night?” he asked.
“...I tend to wear earplugs when I sleep,” Marline admitted reluctantly. “Given… Verity.”
William glanced towards the young woman’s long elven ears and thought about their orcish teammate’s tendency to snore like she was trying to wake the dead. The inner walls of their dorm weren’t particularly thick and Marline’s room was right next to the other girl’s.
Yeah, he could see why she might have invested in some hearing protection.
A decent set of earplugs wouldn’t drown out the noise of the morning bell, but they’d be more than capable of drowning out the distant whumph of an alchemy lab going up on the opposite side of the campus.
He momentarily wondered if the noise had caused any of his other teammates to get up, before dismissing the idea.
Strange noises in the middle of the night were far from unusual in a military academy and usually best ignored unless you had a very good reason to think they might involve you.
“Well, it’s not a problem,” he whispered. “I moved it last night before heading back to the dorm.”
The look of relief on the dark elf’s face was palpable, before it gave way to confusion. “Why?”
He shrugged. “For the same reason I booby-trapped the storage room in the first place. Once it got out that I had a mithril core – and might have had something to do with Al’Hundra’s death, well it seemed like there was a decent chance someone might go snooping around places I might want to hide something.”
And the alchemy lab was just about the first place someone would think of right after their team’s dorm room.
Fortunately for him, there were a few places that were quite impractical for hiding something long-term, but pretty ideal in the short term.
And just so long as Marline’s aunts arrived before next Welday, the mithril core would be safe.
Though as he gazed down at the bowl of porridge in front of him, he found his appetite wasn’t quite what it had been just a few moments ago.
“So where’d you hide it?” Marline asked excitedly, clearly relieved that her family’s future wasn’t currently buried in rubble.
William paused as he considered how to answer that question. Something his teammate was quick to notice.
“William,” she prompted. “Where’s my family’s core?”
He gazed down at his bowl, still thinking.
“William!” she shouted as best she could while still whispering.
“The safest place I could think of. Somewhere it’d be covered completely and no one would voluntarily look.”
“Voluntarily?” Marline said. “Covered?”
Credit where credit was due, no one had ever accused his teammate of being slow on the uptake. At least, where politics wasn’t concerned. So it was that it wasn’t long before he witnessed her expression morph from confusion to horror… to rage.
“You buried my family’s mithril core in the latrines?!” she hissed.
William scratched his chin awkwardly as he avoided her furious gaze. “More like dropped. I didn’t need to bury it because it sank on its own. Which is good given I wasn’t quite sure of the relative buoyancy of mithril in… well… you know.”
In his defence, it had seemed like a good idea at the time. Indeed, if one were to be purely objective about the whole thing, it still was. The core was safely hidden at the bottom of one of the lesser used latrine pits. The bottom mounted… storage vats of which were pulled out and emptied into the bay once a week.
It was a fairly old fashioned system, given the existence of indoor plumbing across the rest of the academy. Indeed, he suspected the latrines were only kept around to serve as a form of punishment duty for any cadets that happened to royally piss off their instructors.
“They’ll be safe there until Welday,” William argued weakly. “At which point your aunts can collect them without anyone being the wiser.”
“Collect them from the latrine’s storage vats!” Marline hissed, slamming her head into the table. “Ancestors, the future of our house is now literally swimming in shit.”
Gingerly, William moved to pat the dark elf on the back. “Ah, but at least it’s safe.”
Once more he glanced away as two silver eyes peeked out angrily from between the girl’s arms.
Needless to say, he was rather glad for the eventual arrival of the rest of their team – even if Bonnlyn chose to complain at length about the fact that she was going to be forced to dine on ‘twigs and berries’ – as opposed to the gut busting pile of vaguely food shaped grease she normally chose to partake of in a morning.
Still, at least Marline had stopped glaring at him by the time they’d all finished eating – escaping just before the first of their fellow cadets piled noisily into the cafeteria.
It was actually rather amusing, that for all that the coming match had obvious implications for the country as a whole, in theory it was simply another practice match between two groups of cadets.
To that end, there was no great ceremony as the members of Team Seven made their way through the double doors leading to the Floats. There, as per usual, stood the members of the opposing team along with an Instructor from a ‘neutral’ house.
Never mind that the great bleachers to each side of the faux-ships were filled with eager spectators when they were normally all-but bare. Or that not one of the viewing orbs bolted to the gantries overhead was bereft of the ambient glow that signified they were in use.
Half the noble houses in the country were likely watching the events that were about to unfold through those crystalline orbs. Though William had to wonder if the Queen was one of them or if she was present in person, simply hidden behind whatever magic she used to render herself and her guards invisible.
Still, as he gazed upon the spectacle around them, William couldn’t help but be reminded of just how impressive a construction the Floats were, the stadium sized building hosting not just the ships that made up the field, but room for spectators, viewing orbs, staff and a myriad other smaller facilities that each worked to allow the practice matches to occur.
With that in mind, one notable absence from the building’s usual occupants was hard to miss.
“Where are all the sailors and marines?” Olzenya asked.
“I don’t know,” William said as they continued walking towards Tala and her team. “Maybe they’re already onboard?”
He doubted it though. He’d have been able to see people moving about inside the great vessels or marching across the deck.
No, something was amiss here.
Still, he’d known there was a possibility of House Blackstone attempting something. And the absence of the Float’s usual staff was likely to be related.
Nothing for it now, he thought. Whatever they’ve done can’t be too overt.
The Principal of the Academy might have been in New Haven’s pocket – which made her an ally of House Blackstone – but even her power had limits with the Crown and half the country watching.
“Ma’am,” William said as he came to a stop before the Instructor from House Summerfield. “Team Seven reporting.”
Instructor Halfin, ironically the woman who’d first introduced his team to the floats glowered at him.
“I don’t like this,” she said without preamble, her voice raised loudly enough that it was clear she was aiming her words not just at him, but Tala and the rest of the world besides. “The Academy and the Floats are supposed to be a training environment for the future leadership of the nation as a whole. Not a pissing ground for idiotic adolescents.”
“I didn’t choose the venue, ma’am.” Even as she spoke, Tala’s gaze stayed on William.
“And I didn’t ask your opinion, cadet.” Halfin’s words were biting as she turned towards the third-year. “The only opinion that matters here is mine. Not yours. Not his. Not your mummy’s. And not the rest of these upjumped cretins.”
Her hand flew out to encompass the veritable circus that were the stands. “So, with that in mind you can believe me when I say that my only concern is getting through this farce as efficiently and as fairly as possible. I don’t give a shit about what’s on the line or who doesn’t want to marry who. All that matters to me is whether or not you have wax or paint on your breastplate or enough harpy-venom in your system to put you down for the count.”
Both Tala’s and William’s eyes widened a little at that.
“Wax, ma’am? Paint?” Tala said.
The older woman grunted. “You heard me, and that’s all I’ll say on the matter. Let it be known I’m not happy about it. Nor about the fact that half the sailors on base have apparently come down with the shits.”
Ah, so that was why the float’s usual crew was missing. Clearly the work of House Blackstone, though to what end William was yet unsure.
Are they trying to delay the match? He thought.
That wouldn’t be ideal for a number of reasons – most of which centred around it giving House Blackstone more time to sabotage him and his team. There’d been a damn good reason he chose to have their match literally a day after he challenged her.
“This has naturally affected my ability to run a normal Float match. Normally that would be grounds for delaying this whole farce,” Halfin continued, tone darkening as she spoke the next few words. “But it has been ‘suggested’ to me by a number of parties that doing so would be impractical. So, we shall instead be making use of one of the scenarios available to us that does not require the use of regular crewmembers.”
She gestured towards the area between the two faux ships, the football field sized stretch of land normally empty but for a few overhead nets designed to catch falling cadets.
That wasn’t the case today. Instead, the area had been filled with a tangled mess of pre-fabricated structures and various other bits of paraphernalia.
“Airship down,” the Instructor said, and after a moment’s observation, William realized that the stretch of land really did look like what you might have seen if an airship crashed into it.
Assuming said airship crashed with enough force to scatter its component parts around rather than remain as a fairly battered single object. Which, given the heights said ships could drop from, wasn’t beyond the realm of possibility.
“Our third year cadets will be familiar with this scenario, but I will explain it briefly for our first years.” Again, there was no mistaking just how unhappy Halfin was with all of this. “In short, an allied or enemy airship has crashed in neutral territory. Both sides of the conflict have dispatched a mage strike team to search the wreckage for the ship’s core so as to deny it to the enemy. Unfortunately, neither side can effectively search said wreckage until the other strike team has been completely eliminated.”
Halfin’s gaze turned towards his team. “To clarify, do not let the flavor text of this scenario fool you. There is no core within the wreckage in this scenario. The only way to win is to completely eliminate the opposing team.”
Over the woman’s shoulder, William didn’t miss the small smile that flitted across his fiancee’s features.
Ah, so that’s her game, he thought.
Oh, he didn’t doubt she would have preferred this whole engagement be delayed so as to allow her more time to stack the deck, but on short notice simply changing the scenario to this still helped her.
Theoretically.
It reduced the number of ‘wild card’ factors that might benefit him or his team. No crew members. No orbs to collect. Just a straight up fight between the two teams.
Sure, said wild cards could have just as easily worked in Tala’s favour, but given the skill disparity between the two groups, it benefited her to reduce the number of random vectors present in the coming fight.
Plus, it also had his team attempting to navigate an unfamiliar scenario.
Well played, he thought.
“Any issue with that, cadets?” Halfin said as she finished her explanation.
“None at all,” William said before the rest of his team could interrupt, noting the small pout of disappointment that flitted across Tala’s face.
She’d probably wanted him to kick up a fuss and force the match to be delayed for the reasons he’d thought of before.
Alas, she wasn’t that lucky.
No, for better or for worse this was happening here and now.
Sure, it wasn’t an ideal scenario, but he could make it work for him. It simply required him to pull out another trick that he’d been hoping to hold onto for just a little while longer.
Amusingly, Halfin also looked a little disappointed. The woman had probably wanted the match delayed on principle. It was clear both his new weapon and Tala’s interference rubbed her the wrong way.
Though as he had the thought, he was pleasantly surprised to see there was at least one woman in the academy who placed her duty as an educator and impartial judge above politics.
Indeed, if she had a reputation for such, that was likely part of the reason why she’d been selected for this match as a compromise between the Crown and the Blackstones.
“Well, if that’s all, then you’ve got ten minutes to check out your weapons and get to your starting positions.” Halfin grunted, before she seemed to remember something. “And I suppose I’ll take possession of the ‘bet’ now.”
There was no missing the disdain in the woman’s voice, which actually made William feel a bit better as he gestured over to Verity.
Unslinging the backpack she’d carried all the way over, the girl still looked more than a little awed as she unveiled the glowing metal orb. It was actually a little amusing, the mixture of relief and reluctance that crossed her features as she handed it over to the Instructor.
An instructor who was apparently not entirely carved from stone, as she somewhat reverently accepted the object.
Even the distant stands hushed down a bit as the bowling ball sized core changed hands.
Of course, it was barely a second before the moment was interrupted.
“Of course you’d have the orc carry it,” Tala grunted, her tone resigned.
Verity flinched back at the words and every other member of his team – including Olzenya leaned forward to argue – but William forestalled them all with a simple raised hand.
“Of course I did,” he said simply. “She’s a valuable member of my team and I trust her. Far more than certain other individuals present.”
A core could also be deceptively heavy despite its ability to produce lighter than air aether and he had no real desire to carry it all the way across campus. It also went unsaid that Verity was best equipped to intercept any… opportunistic thieves.
Indeed, he’d have paid to see some enterprising moron attempt to wrestle the bag holding the core off his orcish teammate on the walk over here.
It hadn’t happened of course, the possibility had always been an outlier at best, but given the stakes it had seemed better to err on the side of caution.
…It had also been amusing to see the myriad emotions that had flashed across the faces of most of the team when he quite casually tossed the bag holding the core to the orc. One would almost think he’d just thrown a baby at her.
Indeed, the only one who’d not been affected had been Marline, who’d just looked quietly resigned.
Which was still fun in its own way.
It was a little childish perhaps coming from a man ‘his age’, but that same age was what gave him the experience to know that sometimes life was about being a little silly and enjoying the small things.
And what better silly fun was there than teasing a bunch of far too serious kids by throwing around a basically indestructible ball of magical space metal?
Of course, given the flash of irritation that shot across Tala’s face, it was clear she thought his smile was an accompaniment to his taunt.
However, before she could say anything, Halfin scooped up the core. “Well, I’ll be holding onto this until the match is over. At which point I shall hand it to whomever I deem to be the victor.” For just a moment, her expression softened. “You can rest assured, both of you, that I shan’t let it out of my sight or off my person for the duration of the match. This I swear – even if I’m irritated at this whole situation.”
William and Tala both nodded, accepting the solemness of the woman’s impromptu oath.
“Alright,” she said, slinging the thing under her arm as she returned to her previous acerbic personality. “You’ve got ten minutes to collect your weapons and be at your designated spots for the beginning of the match. Anyone not in the correct place at the correct time will be considered eliminated for the purposes of this match. Dismissed.”
With her bit said, she strode away, no doubt up to the judges tower - which had an eagle’s eye view of the entire arena.
Leaving two teams of rather combative cadets behind.
Ten minutes was more than enough time to collect their gear, so William allowed himself a few seconds to simply gaze at Tala’s team.
“Finally realizing how outclassed you are, William?” Tala sneered.
It was funny, normally that kind of open disdain was beneath her. Sure, she’d yelled at him before, but to his mind that was more of an expression of frustration than animosity.
Here and now though?
She hated him.
And he revelled in it.
Not because he hated her. He didn’t. Even if they were enemies. At worst he’d say he pitied her for her ignorance and worldview.
Much like him and his otherworldly views, she was a product of her environment.
She wasn’t evil. At least not in an intentional sense. Indeed, by the standards of this world she was actually a good person.
Loyal. Dutiful. Hardworking.
Simply in service to an institution that he abhorred.
With that in mind, the reason why he relished in her disdain was simple.
It meant that he was now worthy of it in her mind. No longer an irritating non-factor that refused to play along, his actions now had consequences.
He’d earned her animosity honestly.
He was a factor. A person.
It felt good.
“Just counting the numbers,” he said. “Some part of me wondered if you might be a team member or two short.”
Indeed, the fact that he’d hoped for the murder of a young man or woman last night was something he counted amongst the least of his sins. There’d be a great many more of those to come.
Still, ignorant of his thoughts, the girl stiffened, all but confirming his suspicions as her mind no doubt turned towards last night’s explosion.
It had been her people who’d tried to raid his alchemy storage room – though it seemed she’d not been so foolish as to send anyone on her team to accomplish the job. In all likelihood the unfortunate fools who’d run afoul of his trap had likely been little more than paid off servants or some other kind of catspaw.
Irrelevant in the scheme of things ultimately and chosen for that very reason. Unfortunate, but hoping that his enemy would be a teammate or two down had ever been a long shot.
“I’ve no idea what you’re talking about,” Tala said. “My teammates are all ready and eager to serve not only me, but to honour their family names as well through that service. Though I know that’s a concept most alien to you.”
Around her, four other members of the girls team stood up a little straight, animosity burning in their gaze as they silently regarded his team with disdain.
Disdain his own team was quite happy to level back – if only out of loyalty to him.
Still, it was funny; Tala was more right than she knew. The values of this world were in many ways alien to him despite having lived here for nearly two decades.
“I suppose you’re right,” he chuckled. “To that end, I’ll see you in the arena.”
He took a moment to enjoy the look of puzzlement on his foe’s face at his placid rejoinder, before he strode away, his team falling in behind him.
Though as he walked, he made sure to turn to each of them. “Make sure to double check all of our equipment. If Tala was able to give half the Float staff food poisoning last night, I wouldn’t put it past her to be able to tamper with our equipment.”
Each of the girls nodded seriously at his words, no doubt leery of discovering a razor blade or some other such implement in one of their boots. Or that their bolt-bow had a faulty intake valve.
Indeed, the only piece of equipment William could theoretically have been sure of was that which he was currently wearing and the spell-bolts that would have been delivered clandestinely at the last minute by either Griffith or a palace guard.
And even then, what the fuck is this about wax and paint rather than rubber? He thought.
Another three chapters are also available on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/bluefishcake
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2024.05.21 17:35 Whole-Regret2346 I have no more options
I was in ROTC (Army) for a mere 4 months but had to quit because my doctor had me on these horrible pills that made me very very, just absolutely miserable. I cannot emphasise how BAD I felt on those meds. Ironically I started them when I joined and ran out after I quit but still too late in realising it was mainly the meds that impacted me. That was last year, spring 2023
Here and now for the past few days, I’ve had the sudden nagging/urge/whatever to want to try to rejoin. Not ROTC this time but as a regular soldier. And I really really want to. It’s the only thing I’m good at, following instructions. Being told what to do
I got a major surgery in summer 2023 so I gained back all the weight, plus a bit more, I’ve managed to lose in training and outside activities. Which is frustrating because I was expecting to lose more weight from the surgery. I just have shit genetics. It has always been very difficult for me to have a healthy body. When I healed, I kinda went lazy on physical activity. My exercise was being cautious about the surgery sight. I was paranoid I’d fuck up and rip something open even though the doctor said I could start doing light exercise
I’ve been trying to get my shit together no matter how demotivating my body type is. I’ve started running but then…my knees. At first I thought it was just because I’ve been out for so long, it’ll go away. But the pain persisted for the next 1.5 weeks and it was decided that I’d take it down to just walking. My knees still hurt to the point that even walking has become a minor challenge
I’m so bummed. I definitely can’t rejoin now. On top of that, my allergies have worsened and I’m technically “oN tHe SpEcTrUm”. Two other factors that are definite disqualifiers for the military, regardless if I have the mildest form of autism. It’s the only thing I’ve come to realise I can actually do. Just simply follow orders (not intended Star Wars ref)
I hate school. Even though I finally found something I decently enjoy, animation, I still hate it. I’ve been struggling because of the forced creativity. I’m now beyond art block. I’m just devoid of ideas. I’m empty. The army seemed like a simple task for my simple brain. I know in reality it isn’t but hopefully you know what I meant. I guess I could put it as it’s straightforward
I’m losing hope. I’m just pushing through these last bits of school even though I’ve probably delayed my graduation at least another 3 years (I’m going on my 3rd year). I’m so tired of this. My mom is forcing me to get a damn bachelor’s degree. Move out? Oh how I’d love too but she’s carefully raised me to rely on her. She’s taught me nothing. As much as I’m trying to figure things out on my own time, it’s so hard because of how she made me turn out. I still wouldn’t last out there. When, or if, I do finally graduate, I wouldn’t know where to go next. I don’t want to do school but all I’ve known is school because US system go brrr
I definitely can’t rejoin the military now because my newly acquired knee issues and my other biological defects. I’m out of options. I don’t know what to do anymore. Where else could I go? What else could I do? I don’t fucking know!
submitted by Whole-Regret2346 to depression [link] [comments]
Here and now for the past few days, I’ve had the sudden nagging/urge/whatever to want to try to rejoin. Not ROTC this time but as a regular soldier. And I really really want to. It’s the only thing I’m good at, following instructions. Being told what to do
I got a major surgery in summer 2023 so I gained back all the weight, plus a bit more, I’ve managed to lose in training and outside activities. Which is frustrating because I was expecting to lose more weight from the surgery. I just have shit genetics. It has always been very difficult for me to have a healthy body. When I healed, I kinda went lazy on physical activity. My exercise was being cautious about the surgery sight. I was paranoid I’d fuck up and rip something open even though the doctor said I could start doing light exercise
I’ve been trying to get my shit together no matter how demotivating my body type is. I’ve started running but then…my knees. At first I thought it was just because I’ve been out for so long, it’ll go away. But the pain persisted for the next 1.5 weeks and it was decided that I’d take it down to just walking. My knees still hurt to the point that even walking has become a minor challenge
I’m so bummed. I definitely can’t rejoin now. On top of that, my allergies have worsened and I’m technically “oN tHe SpEcTrUm”. Two other factors that are definite disqualifiers for the military, regardless if I have the mildest form of autism. It’s the only thing I’ve come to realise I can actually do. Just simply follow orders (not intended Star Wars ref)
I hate school. Even though I finally found something I decently enjoy, animation, I still hate it. I’ve been struggling because of the forced creativity. I’m now beyond art block. I’m just devoid of ideas. I’m empty. The army seemed like a simple task for my simple brain. I know in reality it isn’t but hopefully you know what I meant. I guess I could put it as it’s straightforward
I’m losing hope. I’m just pushing through these last bits of school even though I’ve probably delayed my graduation at least another 3 years (I’m going on my 3rd year). I’m so tired of this. My mom is forcing me to get a damn bachelor’s degree. Move out? Oh how I’d love too but she’s carefully raised me to rely on her. She’s taught me nothing. As much as I’m trying to figure things out on my own time, it’s so hard because of how she made me turn out. I still wouldn’t last out there. When, or if, I do finally graduate, I wouldn’t know where to go next. I don’t want to do school but all I’ve known is school because US system go brrr
I definitely can’t rejoin the military now because my newly acquired knee issues and my other biological defects. I’m out of options. I don’t know what to do anymore. Where else could I go? What else could I do? I don’t fucking know!