Buckle up, this is going to be confusing and long. I have to say from now that I actually have major "memory gaps" from alot of what happened and most of what I'll say from now is information I had to gather from people who were around me when this happened.
Last week, in school, I was sitting with my friends in the cafeteria area. I looked at my watch and realized the date of the day and thought "my dad is coming back today from traveling" (he was in another country), I just remembered a past memory of him yelling at me and abusing me. Now the thing I don't understand is that suddenly I kept having multiple "flashbacks", both visual and auditory, of the abuse my family put me through, including my dad. I wanted it to stop but I realized I couldn't, I was literally paralyzed on the outside. I tried to nudge my friend beside me but I could barely twitch my finger. (she was distracted with my other friend and had her head turned away from me). The best way I could explain the "flashbacks" is that it was like if you had multiple Tvs around you playing multiple movies, aka memories, all at once at high speed and volume.
I realized my heart was beating very fast and loudly, and even in less stressful situation than this one, feeling my heart makes me anxious. Luckily one of my other friends came to sit with us and noticed how I was. I tried with all my strength to talk to them and tell them what's happening but I was "paralyzed" and couldn't tell them. I was already extremely distressed and realizing how badly I couldn't react made me start crying involuntarily and they called the doctor assuming I was ill. Obviously the doctor realized I wasn't sick and told me to just drink juice. The more she asked questions and the more I didn't respond, the more she got frustrated at me. By that point they called my sister who also got mad at me for not talking. By then, the break had ended for a while and I don't know how but I ended up in my classroom, I think i just literally walked there but I don't remember doing that at all. Then I sat down on a chair next to the supervisors table and, once again, I don't remember what happened but I realized time had passed and there were multiple people surrounding me and one of my friends was on her knees infront me trying to talk to me. And when I realized I don't remember her walking up to me at all, talking to me, kneeling down beside me, I was so frightened and just started sobbing. I don't remember much from here but I do know, from my friends, that the supervisor told everyone to go back to their class. I should mention that my class was less than a few feet away from the supervisors seat, she doesn't have a private office.
I just started sobbing and sobbing and the only person I wanted was my closest friend, who I'll call "S", who knew me more than anyone else. I was scared of my dad so badly even though I knew he couldn't do anything in school. Again, I somehow ended up in another area near the supervisor's table and I was hugging S so hard her arms turned red. My mind felt hazy and then I glanced behind her for a second and I fucking saw my dad just standing there. I knew there was no fucking way he was there, I go to an all girls school, 3 floors up, and he was in a different country, but I was so confused. I half believed and half didn't. I was so horrified and I kept telling them he was there but they told me no one was there (from my friends' narration).
This kept going on for a while until I just somehow ended up in the bathroom, laying down on the floor, and a few teachers and people from the administration were surrounding me. I genuinely don't remember how I ended up there. It got so bad my sister had to call my therapist, and I yelled at the phone that my dad was there and he was going to hurt me but even I knew that was ridiculous but I couldn't help it. We had to hang up on her through. After a long while I managed to stand up and I was beside my class, my class door has a window thing you can look through and then it hit me that all of my classmates are seeing this and it scared me again.
My friends told me later that someone opened the door and I ran in and grabbed one of my closest friends who also knew about my dad's abuse and yelled at her something like "tell them I'm not lying tell them tell them" but the thing is I don't remember who "them is" or what I meant by lying I really don't. They kicked everyone in the class out and I ended up just sobbing for a while again. I don't remember much and my friends had to leave so I don't have any information of what happened. I ended up going home and they gave my mom a warning.
So fast forward to yesterday, on Tuesday. I was having a completely normal day, and then an hour into school, I just felt "weird" and started banging my head hard and alot on my table. Luckily the tables aren't that hard, I don't know what the material they're made out of is called but they can't really do much, it's hard but weak. My friends sitting beside me had to grab me with all their strength because, again from their narration, I kept trying to fight against them to hurt myself. The administration came in and kicked everyone out and I just kept trying over and over again to harm myself. Apparently I even tried to take my clothes off but they stopped me. But everyone saw what my upper body looked like I think. And I ended up downstairs 3 floors down in the principals office, I don't remember how I ended up there. I was screaming crying and begging for S and my favourite teacher, they wouldn't bring S but they did call that teacher. She kept hugging me and comforting me. Then they tried to make me leave to my driver who was outisde the gate. When they got me out to the gate i for some reason just ended up on the floor sobbinf and I don't know why. Then I looked behind me and my dad was there. It wasnt a delusion or whatever he was there. Enough time had passed for him to have time to come. They also called 3 male teachers from the boys section to carry me. When my dad held I can swear I screamed like I was tortured alive. The more he held me the more I was distressed and scared. I don't know what happened but he left and they called my mom to pick me up instead. (I live with both my parents but my dad has a busy job and had to go back to work for emergencies whole my mom stays at home). I went back home and the rest is too much irrelevant details I don't wanna focus on. Theres only one week of school left with exams, in the exams time we stay only 2 hours in school and leave, there's no classes or anything like that. And now the school is refusing to let me go back to my classrooms, they said I'll have to take the exams in the administration room.
I genuinely have no idea what's going on with me, I've done so much research but I haven't even found anything that could be a basic assumption or theory or idea or whatever of what's going I'm so confused I hate this and I'm stressed and now everyone at school knows I'm being abused by my dad. Please if you have any idea what's goin on with me, even if it might sound ridiculous or whatever please please tell. And I know I have to go to a psychiatrist or psychologist but we're still in the middle of dealing with that so yeah. Also no one in my family has a history of mental illness especially with something like this.

Hi all, I'm not sure how to write or explain this but I'm having real trouble dealing with the fact that I spent my years with my NEX trying to figure out how to move in together (we both had kids from previous relationships), also giving careestudy advice and support so she could get into the career she wanted, and of course spent a chunk of my money to support her during that period. This was what we planned early on but the timeline kept being stretched out and I didn't enforce boundaries like I should have.
Within a year after I reverse discard NEX, she married someone else and moved with him to another city, leaving her kids with their dad, though he was the bogeyman the entire time we were together. She also established herself in her career using the plan I put together for her in the first place.
So is it just my ego that's bruised? How can I process the mindfuck that I spent years trying to move in together yet this happened almost immediately with the new supply? I've read everywhere that they give the next target what they never gave you but how can I process that? Even though I'm happy with the way my life is since NEX, how do I deal with the kick in the gut this gives still me?

Wife said she feels nothing for me. Can this be an episode?
Hi everyone my (F28) wife (F26) just started taking Lamotrigine about 3 weeks ago to treat bipolar 2. She started with 25mg and is now up to 50mg. She started taking her meds while she was still in her manic phase.
For context: we met 5 years ago have been together 4 and will be married two years this Wednesday. She claimed i was the love of her life and i thought she was mine.
We’ve always had ups and downs in our relationship, but just recently i thought we were better than ever. She decided she wanted a break to find herself and lose her codependency. I felt like i had been her caretaker for so long that the idea actually felt like a good one.
We took a break, got back together days later cause she didn’t wanna distance herself and then decided we would give it a go and get a therapist involved. On Wednesday, i told her I was fully committed to trying, knowing deep inside i didn’t really want this, but i felt i owed it to myself and her to try. I spent a couple nights away at my parents house and on Friday she let me know she was going to a womens football game which i thought was really strange for her. I got back home Sat and she explained she didnt like the distance and wasnt going to like me staying at my parents so often. At the end i told her that wouldnt happen and i again i asked her if she was IN and was still committed to trying. She said yes, we had sex that day and i felt her mind was elsewhere. She loves sex and usually finishes fast after not having sex for a while and it had been weeks since we had sex. This time she took a while. I felt her thinking of something. I had noticed her attention elsewhere already and her not wanting to spend time with me. She broke up with me Sunday night.
I confronted her Monday night and she says she feels nothing for me anymore just a friendship type of love, and she has a crush on a girl from this football team she had mentioned on Friday (my gut feeling wasn’t wrong). I’m not even sure she knows this girl?? A month ago, even a few days ago she was still telling me she loved me and now she feels nothing and it feels like she might be obsessing over this girl??
It’s frustrating because i was ready to move on and let things go, over a span of a week i decided to try again and it feels like she just played with my feelings.
I feel like an idiot for even giving us a chance cause now im worse than before. Should i move on and let it be? Is this a manic episode?? Can this medication be why she’s treating me like this or cause this??
I’m at a loss for words and so hurt by how fast it looks like she moved on. She looks so sure of her feelings and we had been trying for so long but im just shocked and guess i need a different perspective.
Has anyone else experienced something like this?

Came across an article on a "hot new psychotherapy", Internal Family Systems (IFS). It appears to have directly inspired Celeste:
https://substack.com/home/post/p-144719880

IFS is about working with “parts”. You treat your mind as containing a Self - a sort of perfect angelic intellect without any flaws or mental illnesses - and various Parts - little sub-minds with their own agendas who can sometimes occlude or overwhelm the Self. During therapy, you talk to the Parts, learn their motives, and bargain with them.
For example, you might identify a Part of you that wants to sabotage your relationships. You will visualize and name it - maybe you call her Sabby, and she looks like a snake. You talk to Sabby, and learn that after your first break-up, when you decided you never wanted to feel that level of pain again, you unconsciously created her and ordered her to make sure you never got close enough to anyone else to get hurt. Then you and the therapist come up with some plan to satisfy Sabby - maybe you convince her that you’re older now, and better able to deal with pain, and you won’t blame her if you get close to someone and have to break up again. Then you see a vision of Sabby stepping aside, maybe turning off the Windmill Of Relationship Sabotage or something like that, and then you never sabotage your relationships again. It’s more complicated than that, but that’s the core.

It could also be parallel thinking, though the use of "Part of You" to describe Badeline and other similarities seem direct. Either way, it's not super important, the game and these therapists are dealing with the same issues. To explore:

Are some "Parts of You" actually evil demons?

This is the apparent tension in the IFS field, and the purpose of the above article, check it out for more. But basically, "classic IFS" says that everything in your mind is a part of you, fundamentally good, and to be bargained with. An attempt at exorcism will only scar you further.
But, many practitioners come to believe that nope, sometimes there are demons that need to be cast out. In the words of one such entity:

No, I'm not a part of her - I'm a much more powerful and beautiful being, and I'm going to crush her like a worm, the same way I'm going to crush you.

(Spoilers) Celeste comes down solidly in camp "Part of You". In fact, the central arc revolves around this question. Madeline starts off treating Badeline as a hostile force to be abandoned, before Granny convinces Madeline to apologize, allowing the two to work together and double-jump their way to the top of the mountain.
What do you all think? Is the "Part-of-You" reconciliation model always the best approach, or are there in fact some parts of us that are just bad and need to be abandoned?
(P.S. There is also tension between those who view IFS as a metaphor or helpful tool, and those who drink the kool-aid and take it literally. I'd note that is separate from the "part-of-you" vs "demon" debate, you can have metaphorical and literal interpretations of both, neither can claim to be the only scientific perspective.
Celeste side-steps this question nicely by being fictional. Note that some therapists have said "IFS may not work well with delusional, paranoid, or schizophrenic clients who may not be grounded in reality and therefore misuse the idea of 'parts'.")
​

Hi all, I just wanted insight into a friendship that is now ending. Not that we are no longer friends or anything, but I am moving to a new place, and I don’t really keep in touch with friends after our lives have separated.
In short, the friendship was always about her. We went out to eat today as a final celebration of me and my brother's graduation, and the entire time, we were talking about her experiences and her life. (I had been trying to go out to eat with a group of friends for the past two weeks, and spur of the moment she was like, let's go eat today.)
Me and my ISTP brother were trying to connect with her, and she spent no effort trying to connect with us. (If we tried to bring the conversation somewhere we wanted to, she would get on her phone, and only if I said something she connected with, she would come back enthusiastically and take the floor.)
It was like, in her mind, the only person whose ideas or experiences needed consideration was her own. It felt baffling to me with my high Fe, and it felt like I was talking to an energy vampire.
That also showed in the way she showed empathy. Now, I won’t lie, there wasn’t a time where she was empathetic outwardly when I was around, but I’m sure in her mind she likes to think she is. She gets excited for friends, (if it’s something she’s happy for, she’s not going to be happy for you if you pass a hard exam and she failed then, she’s going to sulk and not share any happiness. (I get this is Fi authenticity, but I feel like there is justification in doing both, saying congratulations and asking for support)).
In the times she was showing care for me or our other friends, her empathy was always coming from ‘would this impact me’, and not, ‘how would this help them’ (Fi vs Fe).
I really do value her friendship, I wouldn’t be here asking for advice about Fi-Si if I didn’t.
I definitely valued the way she saw things and her mindset. You INFP’s are cute and are one of the types that help friendships reach a deeper level. But they never tried to get into a deeper level with me. As soon as her needs were met, she was fine and moved on.
It actually was expounded on when we were dating for a little, (long story, but I was so energetically drained because I hadn’t been with someone with such high Fi that often before, that I could not be there anymore).
In all our interactions, I always leave feeling emotionally drained and not listened to. The only couple times I asked for her to be there for me, I had to come out and be selective with my words and no energy really went my way. I asked to be listened to, and I come out having to worry about her feelings.
Every time I tried to describe myself and my mindset, (to be honest, my biggest issue was trying to get her to see things from a Ni standpoint to help understand me), it was ignored, or if it was a problem I was dealing with, she wouldn’t listen to me through and make a conclusion early.
Like INFPs, INFJs want to be seen by others, but my best luck so far has been with people who aren’t emotionally connected as well (IXTP), or people with high Fe (XXFJs). With IXTPs, they listen to you through, and enjoy the logic of the problem, and XXFJ, we give out energy and warmth with Fe.
But you INFP’s, you inspire me to care about myself more. That energy cannot be only given out, and friendships require you to ask for things as well. But even then, it’s like I couldn’t ask her to do the reverse for me. I couldn’t ask her to be there for me if she wasn’t emotionally connected with it herself the way I was able to give myself energy in order to be vulnerable.
In short, near the end of the relationship, I learned to just smile and wave, and instead of asking why I wasn’t trying anymore in the conversation to be seen in our conversations today, she just kept the conversation on her and kept going. Instead of trying to be understood by this person using my previous means, I just tried to learn from her about Fi and Si, and not try to show her into my mind anymore.
I want to know, what am I doing wrong? Is this a type of relationship that will always fail? To me, INFPs need someone to take care of them 24/7, so they can focus on themselves and have someone else take care of their needs, or someone whose main needs is not to connected to emotional space, and being listened to.
My assumption is that this is an unhealthy use of Fi, but given that my ISFP mom is does the same thing first (this screw you, I got mine mentality). I can’t help but wonder if it’s just part of the territory, and I should just take that into account when meeting other high Fi people in the future.

Not sure if the flair is right, sorry!
I have two cats. The oldest one (13 months old British ShorthaiScottish Straight) is the chillest and easiest cat in the world, he is the best boy for real and I am so blessed. 🥹 but whenever I decide to go upstairs & sleep, he runs after me and tries to get in the bedroom with me so I always make sure to lock the door behind me before he actually gets in. ( I can not allow him to sleep with me in the room/on the bed for a couple of reasons), usually he is doing okay & goes to play with my kitten instead. Only very sometimes he will scratch on the door or meow a little but nothing extreme.
But the last couple of days he just sits in front of my door or nearby the door and meows throughout the night. Like, loud loud meowing that wakes up everyone else in the house. He continues until someone goes up to him to check.
He doesn't look like he is in pain, he is well fed, clean litter box etc.
I feel like it may be for the attention and I was wondering if it 1.) Could be attention? 2.) What to do if thats the case? 3.) Am I overlooking something? What reasons could there be? Nothing in the environment has changed, from what I can tell?..
Sorry if this question is a bit stupid, but his meows are scarying me at night, its so loud. 🥹

Summary of me: 27F and this is my 3rd relationship; the other two lasted a year at most, but nothing serious until now because I was very focused on school.
We’ve been together about four months now, and he’s everything I’ve dreamt of, but he can’t keep an erection. This is a problem for me because when we met, we shared a mutual interest in loving loads of sex. We’ve talked about this, and it’s not me; signs were there when he had a one-night stand between relationships, but here’s what triggered my RJ.
As someone who doesn’t masturbate or hook up (nothing against it), I’ve been dreaming of relaxation, a vacation, and earth-shattering sex. Instead, after a very stressful graduation, COVID hits, and I’ve been mourning the loss of a new family member pretty much every year. To add onto that, I work in healthcare, so my mental was at its lowest, being overworked during the pandemic; I feel like I never got to recover, and all of my vacations were canceled.
My bf tells me about how he and his ex “fkd like rabbits,” and they went on vacations everywhere I’ve dreamt of, yet here I am, still crying over losses, possibly about to lose another, and I can’t even have proper sex to relieve some stress after such a long time.
I do not blame him at ALL; I know ED can affect one’s self-esteem and mental health, and I also know there are solutions, but he hasn’t shown me he’s serious about those solutions. The vacations will come (I HOPE), and I want healthy physical intimacy between us. Still, I find myself silently balling my eyes out when we lay down after an unsuccessful attempt. At the end of a stressful work week, when I want to forget the world and fall into ecstasy, I’m reminded that I met the perfect man, yet another woman enjoyed all of these luxuries that I am not, and all I can do is cry. It makes me spiral into everything else going on (death, chronic illness) and into a depression.
I have never been jealous of another woman in my life. I can’t stop thinking about how lucky she was. It’s like a treat is being dangled in front of me
I don’t want to rush him, but I’m so scared that this will end our relationship if it’s not resolved. I don’t know how to overcome this.

My partner of 2 years broke up with me last night. A few weeks ago he asked me about my "transition goals" and made it seem like he wanted to know in order to better support me and see if I wanted him to be involved. He's always been extremely supportive even though when we originally got together he had only dated cis women and was pretty cagey about identifying his sexuality one way or another. I presented very neutrally then, and still do now for the most part. I maybe have a slightly more masc look because I've been on a low dose of T for about a year.
Last night I tried to clarify what he meant in asking me about my goals and he revealed that he felt if I transitioned past a certain point he might not be attracted to me anymore and "we might not be compatible". I asked for details / specifics and he couldn't tell me, he said he didn't know and it was more of a general feeling.
We have had other relationship issues (communication, making time for each other), but deal with conflict quickly and productively, and I always thought we were on the same page about wanting to make things work. For me, these issues weren't at a point I would have considered relationship-ending.
I feel totally blindsided, especially since he's always been so supportive of me especially with trans stuff (started T about a year ago, he's been completely supportive and affirming about that)
To be clear, we still have great chemistry and love each other (I think?) but he says that since at an imagined point in the future we might not be compatible, it's time to break up. I wonder if some of this is transphobia-related. His family is transphobic but he has queer friends / community and is very sensitive and knowledgeable about trans issues. He recently started hanging out with a new group of friends, majority of whom are queer / trans.... I wonder also if it could be more about his own conflicted feelings about his identity or sexuality? i wonder how long he has been feeling this way -- has he hidden it from me and felt less attracted to me as I became more masc-presenting?
Just feeling so so hurt and confused. Mostly looking to vent but curious if Anyone else experienced this or have any thoughts? Please be kind, this is really hard.

Hey guys,
Is it just me not finding the right position to drive or is someone else in the same situation?
I have a G20 for almost a month, but my neck hurts when or after driving it, even on small distance. I have M sport electric seats (leathealcantara ones, not M3/competition seats), and I can’t find the right position I think. I tried everything, up, down, lean back, forward.. head rest all way down, up, middle. Tried google/youtube advices. I feel like the headrest should be a little bit more to back than the seat. I don’t know if you understand what I’m saying.. but even with the headrest all the way down, I wanted it a little more back but I can’t.
Is this car super rigid or I have a problem finding the right position? I can’t imagine how driving many hours will feel.. on my old E90, or X3/ Tiguan it’s all good. My neck hurts when/after driving G20 only. I feel my head is too forward even when I have headrest all way down. I tried to have my head at the middle of the headrest like I saw on recommandations, and set the seat higher. Same problem..

my bf and i just started dating recently, but our connection is unmatched and he’s everything that i’ve been looking for. he treats me like an absolute queen and loves me for who i am; however, he still talks to his ex regularly. so my bf grew up in another state and his ex is his best friend’s twin sister, we’ll call her Rachel. we’ll call the my bf’s best friend Robert. My bf and rachel started dating in high school and were together for 4 years, but she cheated on my bf, and they have been broken up for 2 years. both of their families are friends. his close friend group consists of robert and 2 other guys, whom he’s going to visit back in their home state soon and would be staying in robert and rachel parents’ house.
robert’s family knows the truth that rachel cheated but my bf’s family is not aware, and he doesn’t wanna tell them as to not cause drama since both my bf and robert’s parents are friends. before we made it official we had discussed previous relationships which is when i found out all of the above, he didn’t tell me that they were still actively talking. rachel has had a bf for a year, but apparently my bf and her were texting once or twice a day still (he doesn’t initiate but replies back to her). i only found out they were still in contact because i saw two notifications on his phone, one was from a text message from rachel and the other was for a snapchat from rachel. i asked him about it whenever we got home and he said that he can talk to her less like maybe once a month, but doesn’t want to cut her off completely. i asked him to establish a boundary with her since i made it known that it makes uncomfortable that he is still talking to her, and rachel and him talked on the phone, but my bf said that she was confused and didn’t understand what i was wanting.
my bf says i can check his phone whenever i want, but i don’t want to have to do that. he says they’re friends and that if she were to try something he would cut it off immediately. i don’t see why he would still want to talk to someone who hurt him so badly, and i realize that since she’s related to my bf’s best friend, she won’t be completely out of the picture, but ill i’m asking is for him not to talk to her anymore and if they’re ever in proximity just to be civil. it just bothers me that he is still talking to her, and he is willing to make changes, but not just stop completely. his best friend from childhood is also rachel’s best friend, we’ll call her Lana. I don’t mind if my bf still talks to lana as they have been friends for a long time, but i don’t think he should be talking to rachel anymore. i genuinely don’t know what to do. we have talked about it and just put a pause on the discussion for a bit, i told him to ask any other woman in his life and that they would probably agree with me, especially with all the context. i really love him and see a future with him, but i need advice cause i don’t think i’m overreacting or asking for too much.

This is more of a curiosity, as it isn't something I could personally pursue, but I figured I'd ask so I could give advice if it's brought up again.
I am in Canada, Alberta for the record.
Okay. I recently had a friend pass away from an OD of fentanyl. He was someone who struggled very hard with alcoholism through the last 5ish years of his life, and was in and out of rehabilitation programs and two week hospital stays to keep him sober, the hospitals had dealt with him many times.
During some if his drinking, he was falling and hurt his hip (nothing was broken, but he stated he could not walk from pain). He was put on an addictive narcotic for pain and within about two months, started street variety and died of an overdose.
I'm wondering if it is somehow malpractice to prescribe something so addictive to someone who is very well known to have terrible active addiction issues? It feels really, really wrong and disgusting.

My friend (22F) want to leave her toxic relationship but she is too attached with her partner that she is not able to leave him. Her bf did so many things in past that make her always doubt him. She feels insecure everytime what if he again started cheating on her . She always ask him about his whereabouts, he always taunt her that she always doubt on him and he is tired always giving her explanation. She feels she has become psycho after him. Now she wants to end all this mental torture. She wants to free herself and him also. She asked him to let's not talk for some days but didn't agreed with her. Then she asked one of her male friend how can she detach herself from him. He suggested that she should talk to someone else as she never talked to any other boy since she was in relationship with her bf. When she will talk to someone else she will get to know how toxic his bf is and he is never gonna change. He also suggested that she can talk to him and he will make sure that she will forget him in 4 months.
But now the point is if she will talk to him it will be cheating on her bf and what difference will be in her and her boyfriend if she also cheat on him. She is confused what to do. She wants to leave her bf but don't want to feel like she is cheating on him by talking to another boy. She doesn't want to be cheater in her own eyes. Is her friend right or she is right? Her friend is very good person .
If not this than what else she can do to detach herself from her bf.
( I may have not be able to describe her bf s personalality but he cause her mental stress. There is no future of them but she is too attached to him)

Hey guys, I bought DAT bootcamp and I think I am spending too much time on bio, I am doing 5hrs of biology a day and I am focusing on every detail. I basically take really good detailed notes but it takes me forever. When I do the questions for practice on DAT bootcamp I don’t get any wrong but am I doing this studying right or wasting my time because I’m not sure how detailed the DAT is. I have a lot of trust issues with tests because I used to do bad on every exam back then but ever since I locked in, I put way too much time into things but always get good outcomes so I need someone else’s perspective.

So here’s the situation. My close friend dislikes Linda because they are both seeing the same man. Linda, however, is completely unaware of this, while my close friend knows everything.
Please don’t ask me why; I’ve tried to convince my close friend to leave this man, but she refuses to listen.
Before any of this drama, Linda and I were just social media acquaintances. We moved in the same social circles and had many mutual friends. Our interactions were casual, consisting mostly of likes and comments on each other’s posts.
Recently, during one of our meetups, my close friend gifted me a book she thought I’d love. Excited and eager to dive into a new read, I posted on social media, "might just start a book club." The response was overwhelming. Several friends expressed interest, including Linda, who was particularly enthusiastic and eager to help. Despite my initial reluctance, I entertained Linda's ideas. She even offered to contribute goodies if we decided to have goody bags, which seemed like a fun addition. She was proper sweet.
Later that day, I talked to my close friend about the book club idea. I expected her to be excited, but instead, she was furious. She reminded me that we had discussed starting a book club together last year, but I wasn’t interested at that time. Now, seeing me plan it with Linda hurt her deeply.
Feeling terrible, I apologised and offered to cancel the whole thing to avoid making her uncomfortable. However, I didn’t want to exclude Linda outright, as it could cause major issues in our shared community and among our overlapping friends. After some thought, my close friend decided she wanted to be one of the founders but laid down two conditions: 1) I must not get close to Linda, and 2) I should only organise the club with her. Desperate to make amends, I agreed.
With that, my close friend threw herself into the project with enthusiasm. She made everything official, bought items for the goody bags, and even contacted companies for support. It seemed like things were finally falling into place.
But then, today I left a comment... Scrolling through social media, I saw a post from Linda wearing this stunning outfit. Without thinking, I left an innocent comment. My close friend saw this and was upset. She sent me messages expressing her frustration:
“I literally gifted you that book and spoke to you about how uncomfortable she made me feel. Yet, you’re starting the book club and inviting her without discussing it with me first.”
&
“I’m not telling you not to be friends with her—that’s your own choice. But if the roles were reversed, I wouldn’t engage with someone who made my close friend uncomfortable. At all.”
I apologised to my close friend again and reassured her that my loyalties lie with her. I explained that I was just being friendly and didn’t mean to cause any hurt.
Now, my close friend has backed out of everything, leaving me to handle the book club alone. I’m stuck in a difficult position. I don’t know what to do—maybe I was the one in the wrong after all.
AITA?

I have a 5 year old, 4 year old and a 1 year old. They all have the same father and my oldest is the only one that actually knows who he is or wants to see him. He was gone for a year and briefly came back for maybe a month during court to get custody and out of child support and after they gave me full custody and finalized the divorce he disappeared and he hasn't seen them for about 6 months.
But that month. That month of being in her life she thinks so highly of him. She used to talk about abuse and sexual allegations and after the 3 visits in that month that she had with him it turned 180 and she said he didn't touch her sexual and he never hurt her and he loves her. Things that were absurd because he never showed them love or affection. He never took them to the park, doesn't know the name of their doctor or their allergies or birthdays. I just can't imagine a 5 year old in denial. I don't blatantly say he doesn't love her or doesn't want to see her. But today I did because she told me to die because she wanted him not me and what bothers me is that she loves him more then me. And I'm not jealous, I'm hurt. I took care of them by myself for 5 years now. I did it all. I worked 2 jobs, I was a full time mother I went to college and I saved up every dime of my money to buy a house and move away from their father and I did. I worked so hard for them to have their own rooms and have toys and he sat there in bed all day on his phone. He slept through every night they cried. He never came with me to play with them or be in their life. Never got them a gift for any holiday. And then he sees them 3 times and it all changes. How? Why? Why is she so adamant that he loves her?
What im getting at is I don't want her to believe that loving someone is being there a few times and leaving. Loving them is treating them the way he does. I don't want her to think it's okay to love someone and then never see them. I don't want her to keep hoping he's coming back and him not showing up. It breaks my heart. But I am also trying to help her draw her own conclusions. But today I blew up when she told me to die. She told me he was better then me. My mom isn't afraid to tell her the truth but I don't feel right speaking ill of their father I feel like it's wrong and I don't do that. But after today, it just hurts my feelings to hear these things from her. How should I go about this. I don't want to do this again. I don't want to speak badly of him but I also don't want them to think that he's the greatest thing on earth because he picked them up a few times and then left them again. I don't like that. I don't want her constantly hoping he will come back for her. It just hurts. What's the right thing to do? He is a narcissist and they aren't at an age where it fulfills him to see them and I do know that one day when they r older I'm sure he will show up so he can manipulate and hurt them and turn them agaisnt me and I would like to prepare them for that as well. Any advice for that?

Over the years, I’ve done a lot of different work in the games industry. I want to start this off by saying that I do NOT consider myself a marketing expert; maybe intermediate. I’m making this post to address the most common misconceptions my clients have had regarding marketing. Quite frankly, this is the biggest point of failure for indie games. Take it all with a grain of salt, share your own experiences, and please: correct me wherever you feel I may be wrong.
Marketing should start at the same time as development. You have a great idea for a game — awesome. Do you know who else is going to want to play it? Do you know how you can reach large numbers of those people? How can you make branding and messaging appealing to those people specifically? This should be day one stuff. It almost always isn’t.
Going viral on social media is an outdated concept. Social media wants you to pay for ads. That includes X, Reddit, and everything in between. Many will throttle you for unpaid self-promotion.
Don’t spend money on short-term engagements with content creators. Even if you catch them on a day when they are energized and having a blast playing, their first priority is their audience, not your sales numbers. A one-time payment will not change that.
Don’t hire unverified marketing help. Unfortunately, the indie games space is full of scams. Lots of people offering marketing help have no experience. Ask to see multiple case studies and successful campaigns.
We’ve gone over a lot of stuff that doesn’t work. Let’s cover a few things that do!
Know your ultimate goal. You should strive to create enough of a presence on multiple platforms to start getting noticed organically. Throwing a few hundred bucks at some ads isn’t going to do it. A somewhat successful post on Reddit isn’t going to do it. Align multiple marketing actions in such a way that they help amplify each other — make a new trailer, use it in your media outreach, promote it in various ways, use it to announce a demo and a contest — now we’re talking!
Optimize your Steam page. Make sure all of your art is high-quality, distinct, and gives a player an idea of what they can expect from your game (capsule art especially.) Figure out what the best tags for your game are. https://games-stats.com/steam/tags/ is a decent place to get some insights. Do this ASAP.
Create a community hub. I like to use Discord for this. All of your socials, Steam page, your game demo if you have one, and just as importantly, the game itself — everything should funnel players into one place. This will become an invaluable resource. The first committed members of your community will help provide insights into how to reach your demographic, help you find bugs and quality of life issues, and keep your team motivated. Don’t wait to do it — a year or more ahead of launch is ideal!
Reach out through content creator platforms. The ones I have personally had good results with are drope and lurkit. Your mileage may vary. If you’re lucky, you’ll find a few content creators that love your game and want to keep engaging with it.
Reach out to content creators for free promotion. This is really a numbers game — you might send out 100 emails and get 2 or 3 people who cover it. Focus on creators that absolutely love your genre, and love showcasing promising new content. Send them a free key along with a personalized message. The odds of success are honestly pretty low… Nevertheless, if a sizable YouTuber covers you and is genuinely intrigued by your game, this will be well worth your time.
Run contests, giveaways, or tournaments. Let’s face it — you have a lot of competition. If you want people to line up to try your game, a little extra incentive might help! Make sure that your prize(s) are hefty enough to overcome any barrier-to-entry. A caption contest would have a low barrier-to-entry, while a leaderboard competition would have a fairly high barrier-to-entry. Keep in mind that the likelihood of winning a prize is a barrier-to-entry factor as well. “Winner receives $100” < “10 random contestants receive $10.”
I hope someone finds this helpful. This is not a fully comprehensive guide, just an opportunity to compare notes. If you have questions about any of the things mentioned in this guide, feel free to DM me! If you have something to add or correct, please let me know in the comments.

Buckle up, this is going to be confusing and long. I have to say from now that I actually have major "memory gaps" from alot of what happened and most of what I'll say from now is information I had to gather from people who were around me when this happened.
Last week, in school, I was sitting with my friends in the cafeteria area. I looked at my watch and realized the date of the day and thought "my dad is coming back today from traveling" (he was in another country), I just remembered a past memory of him yelling at me and abusing me. Now the thing I don't understand is that suddenly I kept having multiple "flashbacks", both visual and auditory, of the abuse my family put me through, including my dad. I wanted it to stop but I realized I couldn't, I was literally paralyzed on the outside. I tried to nudge my friend beside me but I could barely twitch my finger. (she was distracted with my other friend and had her head turned away from me). The best way I could explain the "flashbacks" is that it was like if you had multiple Tvs around you playing multiple movies, aka memories, all at once at high speed and volume.
I realized my heart was beating very fast and loudly, and even in less stressful situation than this one, feeling my heart makes me anxious. Luckily one of my other friends came to sit with us and noticed how I was. I tried with all my strength to talk to them and tell them what's happening but I was "paralyzed" and couldn't tell them. I was already extremely distressed and realizing how badly I couldn't react made me start crying involuntarily and they called the doctor assuming I was ill. Obviously the doctor realized I wasn't sick and told me to just drink juice. The more she asked questions and the more I didn't respond, the more she got frustrated at me. By that point they called my sister who also got mad at me for not talking. By then, the break had ended for a while and I don't know how but I ended up in my classroom, I think i just literally walked there but I don't remember doing that at all. Then I sat down on a chair next to the supervisors table and, once again, I don't remember what happened but I realized time had passed and there were multiple people surrounding me and one of my friends was on her knees infront me trying to talk to me. And when I realized I don't remember her walking up to me at all, talking to me, kneeling down beside me, I was so frightened and just started sobbing. I don't remember much from here but I do know, from my friends, that the supervisor told everyone to go back to their class. I should mention that my class was less than a few feet away from the supervisors seat, she doesn't have a private office.
I just started sobbing and sobbing and the only person I wanted was my closest friend, who I'll call "S", who knew me more than anyone else. I was scared of my dad so badly even though I knew he couldn't do anything in school. Again, I somehow ended up in another area near the supervisor's table and I was hugging S so hard her arms turned red. My mind felt hazy and then I glanced behind her for a second and I fucking saw my dad just standing there. I knew there was no fucking way he was there, I go to an all girls school, 3 floors up, and he was in a different country, but I was so confused. I half believed and half didn't. I was so horrified and I kept telling them he was there but they told me no one was there (from my friends' narration).
This kept going on for a while until I just somehow ended up in the bathroom, laying down on the floor, and a few teachers and people from the administration were surrounding me. I genuinely don't remember how I ended up there. It got so bad my sister had to call my therapist, and I yelled at the phone that my dad was there and he was going to hurt me but even I knew that was ridiculous but I couldn't help it. We had to hang up on her through. After a long while I managed to stand up and I was beside my class, my class door has a window thing you can look through and then it hit me that all of my classmates are seeing this and it scared me again.
My friends told me later that someone opened the door and I ran in and grabbed one of my closest friends who also knew about my dad's abuse and yelled at her something like "tell them I'm not lying tell them tell them" but the thing is I don't remember who "them is" or what I meant by lying I really don't. They kicked everyone in the class out and I ended up just sobbing for a while again. I don't remember much and my friends had to leave so I don't have any information of what happened. I ended up going home and they gave my mom a warning.
So fast forward to yesterday, on Tuesday. I was having a completely normal day, and then an hour into school, I just felt "weird" and started banging my head hard and alot on my table. Luckily the tables aren't that hard, I don't know what the material they're made out of is called but they can't really do much, it's hard but weak. My friends sitting beside me had to grab me with all their strength because, again from their narration, I kept trying to fight against them to hurt myself. The administration came in and kicked everyone out and I just kept trying over and over again to harm myself. Apparently I even tried to take my clothes off but they stopped me. But everyone saw what my upper body looked like I think. And I ended up downstairs 3 floors down in the principals office, I don't remember how I ended up there. I was screaming crying and begging for S and my favourite teacher, they wouldn't bring S but they did call that teacher. She kept hugging me and comforting me. Then they tried to make me leave to my driver who was outisde the gate. When they got me out to the gate i for some reason just ended up on the floor sobbinf and I don't know why. Then I looked behind me and my dad was there. It wasnt a delusion or whatever he was there. Enough time had passed for him to have time to come. They also called 3 male teachers from the boys section to carry me. When my dad held I can swear I screamed like I was tortured alive. The more he held me the more I was distressed and scared. I don't know what happened but he left and they called my mom to pick me up instead. (I live with both my parents but my dad has a busy job and had to go back to work for emergencies whole my mom stays at home). I went back home and the rest is too much irrelevant details I don't wanna focus on. Theres only one week of school left with exams, in the exams time we stay only 2 hours in school and leave, there's no classes or anything like that. And now the school is refusing to let me go back to my classrooms, they said I'll have to take the exams in the administration room.
I genuinely have no idea what's going on with me, I've done so much research but I haven't even found anything that could be a basic assumption or theory or idea or whatever of what's going I'm so confused I hate this and I'm stressed and now everyone at school knows I'm being abused by my dad. Please if you have any idea what's goin on with me, even if it might sound ridiculous or whatever please please tell. And I know I have to go to a psychiatrist or psychologist but we're still in the middle of dealing with that so yeah. Also no one in my family has a history of mental illness especially with something like this.
Ps. As I've said most of what I've written is from what people told me they saw when they were there so I can't guarantee I'll be able to answer most questions.

I still have the same feelings for you. I do however learn. If I leave town again and things are how they are, I'm convinced now that my problem was that I have always been too good to women. Contrary to popular lies and rumors used to run my name through the mud and take everyone and everything from me I have never treated anyone badly. What I have learned is that that is my major mistake. You have made me see women don't want to be treated as an equal. Doing right by them is where I always fuck up. So congrats I don't think I will even be decent towards anyone else I allow in my life thanks to you and that's if I get stupid enough to allow anyone in my life again. You taught me this lesson when you intentionally hurt me by intentionally copying Joycelyn to the letter. Have fun taking her spot and getting passed around and set the fuck up until they put you in prison for the rest of your life like the group you picked over me has planned. Now, I look down on you and consider you a fucking retard, both of which I never did before. You wanted me to resent you well congrats you are close to getting it. Just figured I would let you know how I see things at this point. Women like you destroy good men then bitch you don't well one. Well you had one and not only do you not want to be treated well you turned a good man bitter. I'm finally of the mentality that women should be treated the way you seem to prefer being treated so thanks for the lesson.
Ps you deserve what happens to you for choosing it

I just got a note on my script that set me back months. Thought I'd share in case it could save someone else.
I'm writing a two-hander which involves two characters who are close, have a falling out, turn against each other, then finally reunite. One of the characters experiences a rise in fortune, while the other has a decline.
Here is the note: when a studio buys a script for two actors, they need to see the characters onscreen, together, all the time. What they are paying for is their chemistry. My script diverged as it followed their two lives separately in the second act, shifting from one to the other. This did not go down well.
It was a tough pill to swallow but the advice is dead on and is making the script better. So I thought I'd pass it along!

Am I morally obligated to assist my child's mother in all aspects of her life despite the fact that she refused to work on our relationship, manipulated and gaslight me, and walked out of therapy and never came back, effectively ending our relationship 3 years ago?
She literally relies on me for everything. Just in the last couple weeks she asked me to fix her lawn mower, fix her AC, take care of her ant problem, fix her security cameras and hang her ferns on her porch. She also asks me to watch/let her dog out while she works, now she's asking me for a ride to work tomorrow.
This isn't just a one time thing. It's been this way for years. At first my mindset was "ill help her get established but after that, I'm done". Now I feel guilty because I feel like I owe these things to her since she is so helpless and the mother of my child.
What makes it even worse is that I'm still in love with her. I have a really hard time being her go-to person when she wouldn't even take the time to better our relationship and keep our family together. I try to help her without expectation, but it's really hard being there for someone constantly and not have some kind of hope that they value you. Also, I know that with some of the things, my son will ultimately suffer. For example, she bought him furniture that needed to be assembled. I knew she was capable of assembling it but was just being lazy. 2 months after she bought it, it was still sitting in the box...so I spent 2 days assembling everything.
It just doesn't seem fair and I constantly feel used. Anyone else been in a similar situation? I pay child support, provide health insurance, co parent amicably, and do more than my fair share of parenting responsibilities, even when it's not "my time" with my son. Im perfectly ok with all that. But I feel like she should have accepted the fact that she would have to do life on her own when she ended our relationship.
Also, my son is 12 years old and perfectly healthy.

Buckle up, this is going to be confusing and long. I have to say from now that I actually have major "memory gaps" from alot of what happened and most of what I'll say from now is information I had to gather from people who were around me when this happened.
Last week, in school, I was sitting with my friends in the cafeteria area. I looked at my watch and realized the date of the day and thought "my dad is coming back today from traveling" (he was in another country), I just remembered a past memory of him yelling at me and abusing me. Now the thing I don't understand is that suddenly I kept having multiple "flashbacks", both visual and auditory, of the abuse my family put me through, including my dad. I wanted it to stop but I realized I couldn't, I was literally paralyzed on the outside. I tried to nudge my friend beside me but I could barely twitch my finger. (she was distracted with my other friend and had her head turned away from me). The best way I could explain the "flashbacks" is that it was like if you had multiple Tvs around you playing multiple movies, aka memories, all at once at high speed and volume.
I realized my heart was beating very fast and loudly, and even in less stressful situation than this one, feeling my heart makes me anxious. Luckily one of my other friends came to sit with us and noticed how I was. I tried with all my strength to talk to them and tell them what's happening but I was "paralyzed" and couldn't tell them. I was already extremely distressed and realizing how badly I couldn't react made me start crying involuntarily and they called the doctor assuming I was ill. Obviously the doctor realized I wasn't sick and told me to just drink juice. The more she asked questions and the more I didn't respond, the more she got frustrated at me. By that point they called my sister who also got mad at me for not talking. By then, the break had ended for a while and I don't know how but I ended up in my classroom, I think i just literally walked there but I don't remember doing that at all. Then I sat down on a chair next to the supervisors table and, once again, I don't remember what happened but I realized time had passed and there were multiple people surrounding me and one of my friends was on her knees infront me trying to talk to me. And when I realized I don't remember her walking up to me at all, talking to me, kneeling down beside me, I was so frightened and just started sobbing. I don't remember much from here but I do know, from my friends, that the supervisor told everyone to go back to their class. I should mention that my class was less than a few feet away from the supervisors seat, she doesn't have a private office.
I just started sobbing and sobbing and the only person I wanted was my closest friend, who I'll call "S", who knew me more than anyone else. I was scared of my dad so badly even though I knew he couldn't do anything in school. Again, I somehow ended up in another area near the supervisor's table and I was hugging S so hard her arms turned red. My mind felt hazy and then I glanced behind her for a second and I fucking saw my dad just standing there. I knew there was no fucking way he was there, I go to an all girls school, 3 floors up, and he was in a different country, but I was so confused. I half believed and half didn't. I was so horrified and I kept telling them he was there but they told me no one was there (from my friends' narration).
This kept going on for a while until I just somehow ended up in the bathroom, laying down on the floor, and a few teachers and people from the administration were surrounding me. I genuinely don't remember how I ended up there. It got so bad my sister had to call my therapist, and I yelled at the phone that my dad was there and he was going to hurt me but even I knew that was ridiculous but I couldn't help it. We had to hang up on her through. After a long while I managed to stand up and I was beside my class, my class door has a window thing you can look through and then it hit me that all of my classmates are seeing this and it scared me again.
My friends told me later that someone opened the door and I ran in and grabbed one of my closest friends who also knew about my dad's abuse and yelled at her something like "tell them I'm not lying tell them tell them" but the thing is I don't remember who "them is" or what I meant by lying I really don't. They kicked everyone in the class out and I ended up just sobbing for a while again. I don't remember much and my friends had to leave so I don't have any information of what happened. I ended up going home and they gave my mom a warning.
So fast forward to yesterday, on Tuesday. I was having a completely normal day, and then an hour into school, I just felt "weird" and started banging my head hard and alot on my table. Luckily the tables aren't that hard, I don't know what the material they're made out of is called but they can't really do much, it's hard but weak. My friends sitting beside me had to grab me with all their strength because, again from their narration, I kept trying to fight against them to hurt myself. The administration came in and kicked everyone out and I just kept trying over and over again to harm myself. Apparently I even tried to take my clothes off but they stopped me. But everyone saw what my upper body looked like I think. And I ended up downstairs 3 floors down in the principals office, I don't remember how I ended up there. I was screaming crying and begging for S and my favourite teacher, they wouldn't bring S but they did call that teacher. She kept hugging me and comforting me. Then they tried to make me leave to my driver who was outisde the gate. When they got me out to the gate i for some reason just ended up on the floor sobbinf and I don't know why. Then I looked behind me and my dad was there. It wasnt a delusion or whatever he was there. Enough time had passed for him to have time to come. They also called 3 male teachers from the boys section to carry me. When my dad held I can swear I screamed like I was tortured alive. The more he held me the more I was distressed and scared. I don't know what happened but he left and they called my mom to pick me up instead. (I live with both my parents but my dad has a busy job and had to go back to work for emergencies whole my mom stays at home). I went back home and the rest is too much irrelevant details I don't wanna focus on. Theres only one week of school left with exams, in the exams time we stay only 2 hours in school and leave, there's no classes or anything like that. And now the school is refusing to let me go back to my classrooms, they said I'll have to take the exams in the administration room.
I genuinely have no idea what's going on with me, I've done so much research but I haven't even found anything that could be a basic assumption or theory or idea or whatever of what's going I'm so confused I hate this and I'm stressed and now everyone at school knows I'm being abused by my dad. Please if you have any idea what's goin on with me, even if it might sound ridiculous or whatever please please tell. And I know I have to go to a psychiatrist or psychologist but we're still in the middle of dealing with that so yeah. Also no one in my family has a history of mental illness especially with something like this.

I got the 100% Achievement on the regular game before 1.4 came out (yup, chased down all the Gold Cards.... fun) so that includes getting all the molars there. But now in NG+ (1, 2, and 3) I have done everything required to get 100% (yup, even the stuff not required to move on to the next NG+ level, like the Mix.Rs, killing the Infected Broodmother and Director Schmector, etc.) and collected all available molars but it keeps saying 99%, find more milk molars. I saw someone else discussing this and they said that the reason being is that the game wasn't programmed to acknowledge that NG+ only has 66 molars instead of 78 like in the regular game, so it thinks we are short 12 molars. They tested this by using a mod to give themselves 12 extra molars, and it then gave them 100% on the report card.
Has anyone gotten it to give 100% once on NG+? If not let this be a warning that for now at least, if you don't get 100% BEFORE GOING TO NG+, you will not be able to until the devs fix this, and I have not even seen this in a Known Issues list yet.