Doctors - pre-school

Quick Recap:
This is a continuation of an ongoing event. I checked my timeline of fasting. After I finished a fast a few days later Laura's mother had a medical emergency. This is when they learned that she had some kind of brain cancer.
Story:
Since then, Laura returned to work. I was absolutely surprised she had returned to work so soon. She was different. A woman going through great pain. Still emotional and angry. She had chosen to come back to work. She was not ready to be back at work. She was still highly emotional from the whole ordeal. This puzzled me. But, then it all made sense. This is exactly around the time I finished my consecutive fastings and began to crystallize a new reality. In other words, my reality started to become stable. I had also eaten sugar after the fast. That tended to give me some anxiety. I won't go in too much detail about this, but I know it was allowing my reality to stabilize and I stopped surfing through parallel realities so to speak. And reverted back a little bit to the old reality. But, not completely.
That was also very interesting because it allowed me to understand things that were going on behind the scenes. She told me what happened during the time she was away. Her mother started berating and cursing her. Almost as if she can't control herself anymore. This was every day. Laura told me that she cried every day. She says it got so bad that she thought about suicide. That it got that bad. She just couldn't take it anymore and she didn't have much support. Not from her own sister or boyfriend.
The cancer continues to eat away at her brain. She continues to get worse by the day. It is almost inevitable. She found a good nursing home for her mother. This is where she is currently living. There is not much the doctors can do for her having brain cancer. She's awaiting her last days.
Conclusion:
Her(Laura) mood seems to have improved. I believe she still has days of tears. However, I think I understand the emotional demons she carries. I have seen them during the fast. And they seem to be the ignition to my triggers. That lets me know I have triggers to get rid of. More weaknesses to overcome. More demons to transmute. Laura has this natural ability in personality to activate triggers within me. Now, things are starting to make sense as to why she is greatly affected during my fasts.

SOME BACKGROUND:
I am 20F and have been having problems with bartholin cysts since around 18. Most of the time they were just uninfected and reasonably-sized cysts that either didn’t significantly bother me or that eventually went away on their own. When I turned 20, I got my first abscess, and it was the most painful thing I’ve ever experienced: I couldn’t sit, couldn’t walk, couldn’t stand, and eventually even lying down wasn’t providing full relief anymore. My watch was sending some high heart rate notifications, so I was a little concerned if the infection had spread, but I did not have a thermometer to check if I had a fever and did not feel too unwell as a whole. I dragged myself to the ER and had it drained with a simple incision. The doctor there was not entirely sure if it was just a very large cyst or infected, but given the odour she thought it probably was and gave me an antibiotic. This resolved the issue completely for around 3 months.
THE IMPORTANT PART:
After 3 months I got another abscess, only this time I felt very sick. I felt as though I had a flu, and was pretty much lying in bed all day, not only because of the pain of the abscess but because I had no energy and felt that unwell. Because I was back from university in my home country at my parents’ place and was uninsured, I was a bit hesitant to tell them what the problem was. My mum felt my temperature and told me I have a fever. At this point I was kind of concerned, but kept trying to use warm compresses and treat it on my own. It was not getting better and I was still feeling ill, so eventually I told her and went to a gynaecologist, where I threw up for no apparent reason (this is important). For some reason those gynaecologists did not want to do anything to me right then, simply gave me an antibiotic prescription and told me to come tomorrow when I will be interned for two days. I found this very odd given that I had a 15min incision procedure last time and I was feeling really unwell, so I ended up going to another doctor. They took my temperature, (38.4°) and heart rate (130-150) and decided to also do a blood test. It turns out I had leukocytosis >20k, and they told me that I was not well at all and needed urgent treatment right then, and not to wait till tomorrow.
So I had the cyst drained with local anaesthesia and was prescribed two broad-spectrum antibiotics. I asked for them to take a culture of the bacteria, even if they said it might take a couple of days and weren’t too convinced it would help. I felt a bit better for 24h, but then I started feeling ill again and the abscess hadn’t really gone down. I went back and had it drained AGAIN (quite a mentally scarring process since I was already very stressed and I cried the whole time). The culture had come back and it was an uncommon bacteria for a bartholin cyst abscess, Streptococcus pyogenes, which can cause streptococcal toxic shock syndrome (a symptom of which is vomiting, although I do not think I had reached the stage of shock) as well as necrotising fasciitis (also very serious). I was given a new antibiotic that was specific for this bacteria, the incision was kept open and I came back for I think 3 days for a checkup and re-drainage / local disinfection, after which the site was left to heal and I was given an antibacterial cream - this time the treatment worked and I felt better.
TLDR: if you have ANY signs of systemic infection (fever, high heart rate, generally feeling unwell or unusually lethargic) PLEASE SEE A DOCTOR and also consider asking for a culture of the bacteria, especially if you have any unusual symptoms like vomiting or confusion

I saw someone else did something like this recently and thought that I might have something to add to the discussion to help people figure out whether they think this program is right for them, or for people currently in the program to help them plan out classes.
My background is very heavy in statistics and finance (I'm an actuary), so my grounding in calculus, statistics, linear algebra, and business topics was considerably better than most of the other people I interacted with in this program. Conversely, I'm sure my programming skills were probably about average or maybe a little bit below compared to someone with a more targeted background towards those skills.
I started in Fall of 2020 and just finished up this month, Spring 2024. I started out just taking one class a semester and never changed up that plan, would highly recommend doing the same if you're working full time alongside; there's no reason to rush this program. I got a 4.0 GPA overall, although I never really stressed that much about it and definitely did not shy away from "harder" classes in order to bolster GPA. I did this to learn, not to get good grades. The classes I took, in order (my memory of some of the earlier ones might be a bit jumbled as so much time has passed):

1. CSE 6040 - I mentioned how my programming background was weaker relative to my mathematical background. However, reflecting on my experience in this class, it was probably still pretty strong. This class is focused on generalized programming skills, you don't really get into the analytics and modeling that much; it's more of a primer on things like functions, recursion, computer memory management, etc. It's been a few years, but I don't remember struggling with this class at all, and most of the concepts covered (object oriented programming, things like byte encoding, hexadecimal forms, recursion, etc.) were things I was already familiar with in another programming language (this class was in Python) or was relatively easy to pick up. From what I remember, the assignments were auto-graded and you had unlimited attempts, not to mention the fact that most of the prompts were to produce some predetermined result... and, as long as you were able to verify that your code produced that result, you got full points. I didn't miss a single point in this entire class. I believe there were "final exams" which were really just timed window coding assignments much like the homework, and you could do the assignments at any point during a 4-day window or something like that.
2. ISYE 6501 - This class was R-based and focused on basic analytics models. The material was much more applied than 6040. Similarly, the material was not difficult, and I was familiar with a lot of the basic models already (such as GLMs) from having worked with them in my job. The grading was done on a peer-grading framework; based on who anonymously is assigned your homework to grade, you can get someone who's a stickler for every point on the guide, or people who are a bit more lenient. I never really worried much about how things were graded in this class; yeah, I did miss some points arbitrarily, but nothing that made that much of a difference. If you generally put in the work and understand the material, your peers will recognize that. I found this a bit more interesting than 6040 because, rather than a deterministic "right answer", there was some more creativity implied here to solve each problem. There was a final project for this class where you walked through a hypothetical analytics problem and explained how you would go about solving it. I found this an interesting thought exercise and enjoyed this class. The pacing felt a little fast, as you basically had an assignment due each week, but the assignments were small. Like 6040 I found this class to be quite easy but I didn't 100% it due to the peer grading thing.
3. MGT 8803 - I almost applied to be exempt from this class, as my background intersects a lot with the material. The accounting and finance modules for this class literally did not teach me anything new. Supply chain was new for me and I found it interesting. I'm trying to remember what the other module was. I think it was marketing? I didn't like it. Overall I found this class quite easy for the aforementioned reasons, however I've heard from a lot of the other folks without business backgrounds that this class was pretty tough so take my opinions with a grain of salt. Taking this in the summer cut out one of the modules, normally there are 5 but in Summer there are 4. I figured this made sense to take during the truncated semester because I was unlikely to cover that much new material, and it turns out I was right about that. Each module lasted 2 weeks (I think in a normal semester it lasts 3) and has a timed multiple-choice test at the end. A lot of people didn't like this format compared to ISYE 6501 and CSE 6040; I'm not really sure how else this material could've been covered. This class was OK, the material is not really that deep but it's a pretty good primer on a large number of business topics.
4. ISYE 6740 - The first class I took that was actually pretty challenging, which makes sense considering the first 3 courses were just the basic core. This is pretty much an intro to machine learning as a discipline, and the first time I remember digging into academic papers that discuss some machine learning topic and attempting to recreate the results (this is something we did a lot in the more advanced classes going forward and incidentally now that I have graduated is probably one of the best ways to go about learning a new topic). I remember this class as having a format similar to ISYE 6501/CSE6040 in that you had large programming assignments to do, as well as open-book "exams" which were really just timed programming assignments. Assignments are not auto-graded; TA's review each one and thus the assignments have much more of a focus on explaining your findings than producing the exact expected output (unlike 6040). Some of the theory questions have you applying complicated matrix algebra rules that I'm not surprised a lot of people struggled with. The TA responsiveness in this class was pretty good from what I remember, but your mileage may vary. I remember getting 3 weeks to do each assignment but I also remember not thinking that was a lot of time, these assignments are very extensive, have many parts, and take a long time to get through. Like with 6040 I ended up not missing a single point in this class but I did find it difficult and spent significantly more time working on it than in prior classes, probably 10-15 hrs a week, give or take.
5. ISYE 6644 - I was familiar with maybe 50% of the material we covered due to my extensive statistics background, however I was not aware of the exact mechanics of random number generation or the concept of a batched mean, for example. I remember this class having several "check your understanding" quizzes that focused on the mathematical foundations. Didn't struggle with this much in terms of difficulty and found the material very useful. Setting up custom simulation environments is very useful and arena is pretty cool even if it's unlikely you'll ever use it. Some assignments feature similar tools in Python (simpy). There might have been some coverage of R in this as well, or at least the accommodation for people that wanted to use it. There was a project for this class, but you didn't have to come up with the topic on your own, you could pick from a list, and you could do your project on your own if you wanted (which, given the option, was always the choice I made, due to the inherent randomness in picking the right members of a group). However you can do a group project if you want.
6. MGT 6203 - The first of the classes I took that required a group project. I recommend you are proactive in putting together groups in situations like these, posting threads on Ed/whatever the forum is as soon as the class begins. My group was alright; not everyone in it was great, but we had enough going overall to make up for the weaker group members. The project has some arbitrary guidelines from what I remember - you need to put together a midterm report and video presentation that is no more than ~2 minutes long or something like that (if it's 2:01 you get penalized) and the final report is 5 minutes or less, and everyone in the group needs to speak. I honestly don't remember much else about this class, it was pretty forgettable, but not horrible. Not overall that difficult, another business class so a lot of topics I was already familiar with, but there was more new here than in 8803.
7. CSE 6242 - Another class with a group project. Again, I was proactive, and again, overall, my group was... okay. Some people who were really good, some who were... not. This class is characterized by a lot of assignments that are autograded, like 6040, but the assignments are a bit more difficult. Overall not that difficult with the exception of the D3 assignment, but that's more due to the fact that I'm not really sure how the autograder works for that; it tries to determine based on some internal structure of your html code whether or not you're fulfilling the requirements. I got a perfect score on all of the assignments, and they give you the chance to score over 100% on I believe either assignment 1 or assignment 2. A lot of people bombed the D3 assignment (I think it's assignment 2) but still did well in the class because it's not that hard to do well on everything else, so keep that in mind. This class does a great job of exposing you to a lot of new technologies, but there isn't that much depth to it. That's not really the point of this kind of class though, it equips you with the tools to explore things deeper if you so choose.
8. ISYE 8803 - I was a big fan of this class. It's taught in MATLAB but you can use Python if you so choose, you'll see in reviews of this class that you should really just use MATLAB since a lot of the sample code etc. is not in other languages, so that's what I did. However, they must've recently added Python and R code for sample solutions, so feel free to use what you want. MATLAB was interesting, there were parts of one assignment I also used R for (grouped lasso in R is a lot more straightforward). This class is all about high dimensional data and representing it in a more simplified and comprehensive way, think about something like sonar which might have datapoints separated by milliseconds and thus a very dense representation of a signal captured over a short period of time. After ISYE 6740, I found this to be the class that taught me the most up to this point.
9. CS 7642 - Taking this class in summer is kind of rough. There's 6 homework assignments that are autograded, similar format to CSE 6040. There are 3 projects which are much larger programming assignments for which you'll write papers explaining methodology, results, etc. These projects take a while, particularly project 3. I did well on projects 1 and 2 and decently on 3, although I spent the most time on 3 by far; it involves reinforcement learning to simulate a soccer environment and train agents how to play against an AI developed externally. The AI baselines are hard to beat, and I didn't manage to beat them, but I wrote a decent paper explaining what I did. The final exam for this class should be dropped as it doesn't add value to the class, people regularly score extremely low on it, the average score in the class was something like a 45%. I scored a bit lower than average but still got an A in the class because it was heavily curved. Reinforcement learning is a very interesting topic, though, and I would highly recommend this class as a primer on the material. It's probably a good idea not to take it in the summer, though.
10. CS 7643 - This class was pretty difficult but I still think 6740 was tougher. The material is extremely dense. There are parts of programming assignments that are autograded, but also short answer portions that are reviewed by TAs. Grading on those were pretty subjective. This is the only class I can remember really needing to discuss things with TAs to understand what was being asked a little better. Unfortunately, the TAs in the semester I took this weren't the best. They seemed more concerned with unintentionally giving away a bit too much information in any of their responses. I can understand this, but it came off as intentionally opaque most of the time. There was a group project for this course as well, and my group was excellent, probably the best experience I had with a group in this program. I can imagine how much this course would've sucked if I would've had a mediocre/bad group. Based on discussions with my group, some of the grading seemed highly arbitrary, with some TAs grading similar responses to the same question differently. Like I said above, though, I never really worried about this. I never once in this program ever disputed a grade, and I continued with that in this class as well.
11. CSE 6748 - Practicum and final class. For this class you get to choose between a number of pre-determined Georgia Tech sponsors, or form your own project for your own employesome external entity. It was a lot more work to do this, so I just went with one of the pre-determined GTech ones. I really enjoyed this one, I had constant communication with the sponsor as I developed my project and came up with something that I was quite proud of. I wanted to explore a natural language processing task, so I picked a project that I thought would allow me to do this, and was very satisfied with the result. There's a number of videos you have to watch that explain some overarching aspect of analytics that were pretty interesting as well, you can watch all of these in a single day and then focus on the project if you like. It's possible to finish the entire semester's work in just a few weeks, I was able to do the entire project and write the final paper in about a month's time, at which point I coordinated with the sponsor to tailor the work I did to a format that they would be able to implement for their business problem if they wanted to.

I can't comment on the job placement prospects of this program, as I just finished it and was actively employed the entire time I was in it. As an actuary there's not much this program does that my exam certification process didn't in terms of career prospects. However, it did position me much better within the context of the expanding role of data and analytics in insurance going forward, and also opens me up to similarly mathematical roles with a firmer grounding in big data and also some business elements (quantitative finance/data science roles). There were also things I learned in this program that I was able to apply directly to my day-to-day work. If you're considering this program, I would recommend you think about a few things:

1. I'm pretty shocked at how many people I saw during my program who didn't really think that much about why they're doing this. I get that the barrier to entry is low, but it's a serious commitment if you're actually trying to graduate. Most of the people who start this program don't finish, so consider whether you're ready to spend almost 4 years going to school part-time, or if you're able to double up on classes for some of the semesters. Most of the people I know in the program doubled up at least once, I never did but I was never in a hurry. If you must double up, don't make it your first semester. Dip your toe in the water, see how it is, and then reassess. But, above all else, think about why you want to do this, and use that as your guiding goal to bring you through to the end.
2. Something I tended to see pretty much without fail in most of my classes - a lot of the graduate students in this program spend way too much time worrying about minute, particular details that don't really matter. Maybe it was just my philosophy that I would probably never dispute a grade, or that I was never really that concerned with getting a perfect GPA, etc. but I was always marveling at what I saw asked in Ed posts. People would ask whether they could use a certain programming language for an assignment, what packages they were allowed to use, would post screenshots of bugs and ask for TA's to help walk them through it, etc. Generally, without fail, the TAs would respond along the lines of: use whatever programming language you want, as long as you can display your output/submit it in a way that we can verify by running ourselves, we'll make the effort; use the debugger to step through your code to find the problem; etc. Generally, in most cases, the assignments and questions are designed in a way to teach you something, to get you to realize/understand some pattern or data concept that has some underlying logic that makes sense. For example, the idea of saliency maps on image processing takes the 3-channel RGB color pixel shading representation of an image and condenses it into a single channel, and, as a result of that, loses some resolution in suggesting parts of the image driving a model result that might be different depending on the channel; i.e., an image with a very heavily blue-shaded part that detracts from a certain result, but with a red-shaded part somewhere else that increases the probability of the modeled result. This was part of a conceptual question on how saliency maps differed from other pixel influence attribution methods in Deep Learning, and is part of what you should logically understand since it reduces the channels of the image representation from 3 (R, G, B) to 1 (usually grayscale). I think people tend to run to the TA the second they have difficulty with something and don't stop for a second to think it through, one exercise I might recommend is to consider: if you ran into this problem out in the world and you didn't have a TA/managesome other authority figure to explain the answer to you, what do you think it might be? Does the answer even matter? If it still matters and you have no idea how to solve it, maybe then you can go to the TA.
3. In every single group project I worked on, we had an initial planning session where we determined the scope of what we wanted to do. For most of the projects, this was an essential deliverable in addition to the final paper. However, in almost every case, someone in the group was always playing some game of runaway scope where they kept on wanting to add methods/questions to exploration beyond what was initially planned in ways that I intuitively knew would be impossible to manage in just one semester. I often had to say something along the lines of "if we have time we'll do that" or "when we write up our paper, we can put that in the avenues for future exploration section" or something similar. It turns out that we never had time to look into these things, and our initial scope was usually well-defined considering the time we had. I'm not sure why this was always so front-and-center in my focus, maybe since I used to work in consulting and project budgeting/scoping is so unbelievably important in that context. Whatever the case may be, understand that you won't be able to change the world every time you do a project. Make some incremental improvement, reflect on the results, and then include some notes in a "potential avenues for future exploration" section. I was pretty surprised at how many people had so much trouble putting the pencils down at the end. I can practically guarantee that, for the classes where I did a project on my own, I probably did substantially less work than other individual groups for precisely this reason. In general, you probably don't have to do as much work as you think you do.

So, would I recommend the program overall? Absolutely. It's not perfect, I found some of the formats annoying - CS 7642 has no business having that final exam, it adds nothing to the class at all, is arbitrarily extremely difficult and the class is good enough and complete enough with the removal of that exam that its inclusion to me appears to be the result of some arbitrary quota somewhere. I also don't really like the group project format and profoundly disagree with the reasoning that GTech and most other academic institutions give as to why group projects are even good or necessary, however I do acknowledge that from a logistics and resource standpoint it's unmanageable to grade individual projects for every single person in a given class and group projects do decrease the number of papers that TAs will have to read. Considering the scale of what GTech has managed to do, and how many students enroll each year, I'm surprised the program is as well-managed as it is. Yes, it does require a lot of self-teaching, but in most cases you can actively engage with TAs multiple times a week if you're struggling with topics and from what I've seen they were very responsive.
Anyways just wanted to give my perspective as someone who just finished this program and still thinks it's worthwhile despite its flaws.

Had my LP - opening pressure was 27
Had horrible low pressure headache for 4 days after. Layed flat the whole time to manage pain. Then on day 5 high pressure headache (rebound pressure?). Then I had a day where I felt great. And now out of nowhere my low pressure headache is back.
I will be calling my doctor again tomorrow but what the heck is going on? Csf leak? Why did I have rebound high pressure for a day and then feel fine and now all of the sudden the low pressure headache is back?
I can’t believe I am saying this but I actually miss my high pressure headache.. the low pressure headache is HORRIBLE.

Cashapp or Venmo please (List is always up to date)

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• Sony Buff 4K/HD MA $3 (Includes choice of:)
  

Stir Crazy
Stripes 4K
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Guess Who
The Blob (1988)
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Untraceable

I have it all and i think I'm going to start to lose it because I can no longer get my shit together

HI there,
My dad passed away a few months ago in Virginia. He was in the hospital (ICU) for almost 3 weeks before ultimately passing away, he was also uninsured (unbeknownst to me). Fortunately, he did have a Will and instructions for a Trust to be setup.
We have a lawyer who seems knowledgeable but she's not the most responsive and I've been beyond stressed out about all the "what ifs". She (our lawyer) has instructed me to send her any bills my dad receives and her firm is sending them letters regarding the status of his estate (less than $15k).
Now here's where it gets "interesting" - he had paid off his home, which is a huge accomplishment, but I fear that the creditors will go after his house or put a lien against it. Our lawyer has said that in VA they only have one year from the date of his death to come after any real estate. I've yet to receive any bills for his actual hospital stay (a few from random doctors totaling ~$5k) but I'm expecting bills in excess of $350k from what the counselors at the hospital had told me.
If those bills haven't arrived yet (2.5 months in) I suspect/hope when they do arrive, I'll share with the lawyer, she'll send the letter, we'll then be forced to assign an executor to the will/estate, they'll need to go through any necessary steps of the house being in the trust, place a lien against the home, etc.
I guess what I'm looking for here is reassurance that the "obstacles" our lawyer has put in place (not assigning an executor until forced to do so, sending letters declaring the estate is only $15k, and the house/assets being in a trust) will hopefully and succesfully delay any creditors beyond that year to place a lien against the home?
I apologize if this convoluted, I'm beyond stressed, worried, and grieving and trying to wrap my head around things. Thank you so much for taking the time to read through all this - I really do appreciate it and this was rather therapeutic :).
Have a great day.

I used to love seafood when I was younger; from shrimps, crabs and clams.
But around when I turned 20, I can't eat the said foods anymore including squids and the like. My stomach feels acidic and I become nauseous. Won't stop until I throw up.
Anyone here who had the same experience? Haven't gone to the doctor's yet but soon

I've suffered over a year and a half of progress being undone in the wake of this relapse & in my experience both before and after recovery, one of the most vicious and difficult parts of this ED is the inherent gaslight of just how invisible the very nature of this fkn ED.
Now before anyone jumps on me about the rules, I'm not comparing or invalidating other ED's. I'm ranting on my own experiences from my personal perspective on my individual struggles from two opposing ED's. I apologize if any statements come across as inflammatory, I just want to make this clear bc even tho ik no one is likely to give this the time of day I'm only seeking an outlet for my pain, and in case anyone does scroll past this, I want this context so nothing I say risks being received in a damaging way.
I was in a medical magnet program throughout the entirety of high school + summer courses and despite all the classes, units, lessons, and a whole year of school - all focused specifically on health, diet, and nutrition - it took me YEARS and a stroke of blind luck and chance to stumble across something & then later realize not only did non restrictive ED's exist but I myself had one.
I was failed by my education AND my doctors bc even though I was far from healthy and overweight, restriction was the only concern anyone ever had - & likely only as a precaution bc my medication has a known side affect suppressing appetite.
And despite all the results I could pull up with a Google search, I've only ever experienced Binge ED as feeling invisible, dismissed, and invalidated.
I distinctly remember breaking down in frustration over discovering that nothing relating to binge ED would trigger the same content warning/concern pop ups on different platforms that tags and keywords pertaining to restriction & other EDs/mental health struggles are flagged by.
I'd grown so bitter and resentful bc the experiences I had just seem to compound this feeling that my struggle and pain was only ever seen, validated, cared about, etc if it fit some pre-constructed narrative. Like even tho it existed, it wasn't acknowledged or important enough to be on anyone's radar like other issues are. Dealing with an ED sucks, but an ED so seemingly forgotten and dismissed felt like rubbing salt in a wound the world gaslight you about and does it so well you feel like can't even be upset you're being gaslit.
It took me two years to overcome my ED, and I still felt a flicker of resentment when my history in my relationship with food couldn't be avoided bc where before I'd be met with platitudes about body positivity, at a smaller size people would immediately jump to conclusions about the nature of my past struggle with food.
And don't get me started on boundary pushing even after point of recovery. Holidays, celebrations, special occasions. No one tells a recovered alcoholic "oh treat yourself, you can afford it, it's just one glass." And it seems the smaller you are, the more conscious everyone else is about your boundaries with food & more easy it is to disregard your comfort. And like the social awareness of restrictive disorders makes people feel more comfortable in encouraging you to indulge and cross that boundary, especially in cases where you're confronted with someone who weaponizes "body positivity" as a vehicle for their own toxicity.
Being in a smaller body when struggling with a relapse just inflames these sensitivities to an exponential magnitude and I'm now dealing with the vicious whiplash of not just my ED, but the old wounds from before my recovery, the pressures after recovering, and now being met with assumptions trying to seek support and dismissal if I try to get ahead of the assumptions when I just want to reach out and feel seen.
I slipped up some thanks to boundary pushing over the holidays, but it's my medication that tipped me over into a full blown relapse and despite raising concerns with my doctor, seeing my weight increase steadily over time with episodes becoming more and more frequent, my concern has been brushed aside and I've now been left with the devastating impact of facing a year and a half of recovery undone and stuck taking a medication that is triggering my ED and an overall feeling of suffering for things entirely out of my control.
It took years finding what meds worked for me, and unfortunately mine carry a stigma and have a well known side effect of suppressing appetite. There's also a nationwide shortage and each prescription that gets filled feels weaker and weaker. Prior to my recovery, I was quite sedentary and while I've finally gotten to a place where I'm invested in my quality of life and am thriving pursuing a demanding lifestyle that's kept me active and engaged in my day to day, managing my disability requires a higher threshold than my current dose can meet and while my prior dose was most effective and is one I had for years, it's higher than standard and my doctors are reluctant to help me.
So I face having to overcome the stigma my meds carry, trying to build trust with my medical providers to gain back the Healthcare I lost to depression (& losing my Prior insurance/coverage - too $$$), am working gradually towards increasing my dose amidst a shortage where others with my disability are universally reporting weakened-totally ineffective prescription, and because my meds were adjusted (increased for one, decreased proportionally for the other) my doctor dismissed my concerns citing the lowered dose when I stated my new meds trigger my appetite even tho I could have eaten and be full shortly before they take effect.
I can't stop these meds but keeping them makes me feel insatiable and is inflaming binge episodes but it's effect on my appetite is dismissed as a change of dose and if not being able to manage my disability well enough with this lower dose isn't enough to advocate for my meds, raising a weight concern with a medication that is reputed to be an appetite suppressant is going to work against me even more.
The end result has me now at the point of calling out of work on bad days to spare the mental distress of having to tie an apron around my waist and be a constant trigger the entirety of my shift, and feeling like my only options are to choose between managing my disability or my ED -
All because no one takes binge eating seriously and so stubbornly clings onto the societal view of restrictive disorders as the default and if you're small your struggles with eating aren't valid outside those parameters.
I just want to pursue health, happiness, and mental & physical wellness and not let my disability or disorders be a barrier to my pursuit in sustaining quality of life.
I've never felt so powerless, unseen, or alone.

Hell on wheels. Not entirely straight. I am a goth babe, granted with defective legs—a budget goth babe, if you will. One of those off the shelf ones, except I don’t trust myself around shelves. Wheelchair and that. Looking for something long-term. Open to anyone 29-36. https://ibb.co/DwFPtqG Here I am! Please tell me your favorite book if you decide to send me a message! Talk about medieval history with me!
I love single-player RPGs, but I could use a player two. I am also a voracious reader so sometimes I read 10 books at once. I'm looking for something long-term. Right now I'm taking a break from school while I pursue my Masters in psychology and reading Lord of the Rings. I could also use Nintendo Switch friends. I usually play a human sorcerer in Dungeons & Dragons; if there's an open spot in your party I'll take it! I love Tolkien, A Song of Ice and Fire and recently started Robert Jordan's books! Arya, Sansa, Brienne, Jaime and Bran are my favorite characters. Baldur’s Gate, Mass Effect, Fallout and Elder Scrolls are some of my favorites. I collect vinyl and love my dog more than anything else.
Marathoning Doctor Who--Nine and Thirteen are my Doctors! Loving Shōgun and House of the Dragon, though I could always use more period drama recommendations! I keep Kitchen Nightmares on as background noise.
I have a special interest in shipwrecks and medieval English history.
Still love Evanescence, Lacuna Coil, Nightwish and bands of that illk. Will take emo and punk friends too! I need friends in Disney Dreamlight Valley as well!
I am looking for long, loving, lasting relationships primarily. If you are too please reach out. Please tell me a little bit about yourself if you can and please be fairly close in age to me. I am very shy, please be understanding if I am slow to respond.

Hey~ I'm looking to find someone to game with, watch stuff with and just be long term friends with! I love to play stuff like modded minecraft, stardew, dreamlight, 7days to die, no mans sky, ow and tft/league and many more!! We can even stream games for each other! Or watch shows/movies/anime!!
A bit on me, I'm v nerdy into stuff like anime, disney, marvel, doctor who, hazbin, roleplaying, cosplay, DnD, tattoos, musicals and more! I'm a musician, I do voices, love to make people laugh. I have two puppos I can send pics of!!! Just looking for platonic friends!
Pls reach out to me via chat and tell me about yourself ! I wont respond to low effort! I'll give out disc if i think we'd vibe~

HI there,
My dad passed away a few months ago in Virginia. He was in the hospital (ICU) for almost 3 weeks before ultimately passing away, he was also uninsured (unbeknownst to me). Fortunately, he did have a Will and instructions for a Trust to be setup.
We have a lawyer who seems knowledgeable but she's not the most responsive and I've been beyond stressed out about all the "what ifs". She (our lawyer) has instructed me to send her any bills my dad receives and her firm is sending them letters regarding the status of his estate (less than $15k).
Now here's where it gets "interesting" - he had paid off his home, which is a huge accomplishment, but I fear that the creditors will go after his house or put a lien against it. Our lawyer has said that in VA they only have one year from the date of his death to come after any real estate. I've yet to receive any bills for his actual hospital stay (a few from random doctors totaling ~$5k) but I'm expecting bills in excess of $350k from what the counselors at the hospital had told me.
If those bills haven't arrived yet (2.5 months in) I suspect/hope when they do arrive, I'll share with the lawyer, she'll send the letter, we'll then be forced to assign an executor to the will/estate, they'll need to go through any necessary steps of the house being in the trust, place a lien against the home, etc.
I guess what I'm looking for here is reassurance that the "obstacles" our lawyer has put in place (not assigning an executor until forced to do so, sending letters declaring the estate is only $15k, and the house/assets being in a trust) will hopefully and succesfully delay any creditors beyond that year to place a lien against the home?
I apologize if this convoluted, I'm beyond stressed, worried, and grieving and trying to wrap my head around things. Thank you so much for taking the time to read through all this - I really do appreciate it and this was rather therapeutic :).
Have a great day.

Hell on wheels. Not entirely straight. I am a goth babe, granted with defective legs—a budget goth babe, if you will. One of those off the shelf ones, except I don’t trust myself around shelves. Wheelchair and that. Looking for something long-term. Open to anyone 29-36. https://ibb.co/DwFPtqG Here I am! Please tell me your favorite book if you decide to send me a message! Talk about medieval history with me!
I love single-player RPGs, but I could use a player two. I am also a voracious reader so sometimes I read 10 books at once. I'm looking for something long-term. Right now I'm taking a break from school while I pursue my Masters in psychology and reading Lord of the Rings. I could also use Nintendo Switch friends. I usually play a human sorcerer in Dungeons & Dragons; if there's an open spot in your party I'll take it! I love Tolkien, A Song of Ice and Fire and recently started Robert Jordan's books! Arya, Sansa, Brienne, Jaime and Bran are my favorite characters. Baldur’s Gate, Mass Effect, Fallout and Elder Scrolls are some of my favorites. I collect vinyl and love my dog more than anything else.
Marathoning Doctor Who--Nine and Thirteen are my Doctors! Loving Shōgun and House of the Dragon, though I could always use more period drama recommendations! I keep Kitchen Nightmares on as background noise.
I have a special interest in shipwrecks and medieval English history.
Still love Evanescence, Lacuna Coil, Nightwish and bands of that illk. Will take emo and punk friends too! I need friends in Disney Dreamlight Valley as well!
I am looking for long, loving, lasting relationships primarily. If you are too please reach out. Please tell me a little bit about yourself if you can and please be fairly close in age to me. I am very shy, please be understanding if I am slow to respond.

Hi everyone! I wanted to make this post because we often forget that normal and healthy pregnancies happen every day, and even though we see bad outcome stories here, it's not the rule or the norm. Yes I do think it's great that we all have a space to discuss our feelings and worries, I actually try to help a lot of you on this sub based on what I know, but I also think it's important to mention the good and positive stories, so here's mine:
I had a chemical pregnancy back in February, started bleeding the 10th and counted it as CD1. I don't have textbook cycles so I ovulated on CD24 (March 4th). I caught my ovulation date based on OPKs and BBT. Got my first very faint positive on March 14th (10DPO, barely visible) and had an HCG of 5.5 that day, it was too low yet. I had my repeat draw two days later and HCG had rose to 50.7, which was definitely great news because it had more than doubled. For the following days, I kept taking FRERs until I got a subtle dye stealer for peace of mind.
I had my first ultrasound at what would be (according to ovulation) 6W3D and all we could see was a GS measuring 6W2D and a YS measuring 5W2D (approx). The fetal pole was a tiny tissue adjacent to the YS but still my doctor said it was "the beginning of a fetal pole, but not quite yet one". This had me really worried because I knew my ovulation date, and even if it were wrong for like 2 days, I was still a few days behind. Also, I had seen everywhere on here that people were already catching HBs and my doctor didn't even try to measure it. I was worried but optimistic.
Went back 19 days later and there was a gummy bear baby! Went in at what would be 9W1D from ovulation but baby still measured a full week behind, we estimated 8W1D. I relaxed a bit with this information because even though I was still behind, baby had grown a lot and had a good heartbeat.
All this to say that today we went in at what would be 13W1D from ovulation (but I expected to be 12weeks given my previous ultrasounds) and baby now measured 13W5D - it jumped way ahead of him/herself! This is now my official dating agreed by both my OBGYN and MFM specialist.
I kept reading stories of people mentioning their baby measured behind at their first ultrasound but caught up by the second. I didn't think this would happen to me because in 1st and 2nd ultrasounds baby was still behind. I knew I couldn't have ovulated a week later because I got my first positive at 10DPO. My OBGYN said that after a chemical pregnancy all the hormones can be a bit wacked and may take longer for baby to develop - this is definitely what I think happened. And even if I hadn't been through a chemical, some babies still take some more time than others to grow.
Please don't forget that there are A LOT of women out there who go on to have healthy pregnancies every day. Yes, unfortunate things also happen every day, but I don't think this is the norm. I wish you all a happy and successful pregnancy. Remember our bodies are smarter than we think. :)

Hello!
In june of last year i was playing with my dog when I went to kick a toy that was rolling, I missed and just about full forced kicked a base board on the wall.
Initial ER visit with x-rays came back no fracture in my big toe, immobilize for 4 weeks all should be good.
16 weeks rolls around and there is still pain and swelling, i i visit a ortho who x-rays with same result. Possible signs of a healing fracture but that is all. Said it should be good by EOY.
EOY comes still have pain when weight bearing, although less swelling, I visit one ortho in february who gets a MRI done, comes back with
mild arthritis, mild bone edema, mild joint effusion
We start Low Level Laser Therapy and Phsyical therapy in march, and I have been seeing gradual improvement, gaining rom and being able to stand on it with no pain.
We are now at the current day and the last ortho visit gave a timeline of a few more months to healed.
My current status is there is still joint effusion for sure. it hurts when pushing off with the toe or going in to my tipie toes. it’s not really a pain so much as the joint feels gunked up. I have no pain when moving the joint without weight bearing.
my question is, will this gunked up feeling go away as the joint effusion clears or is this a symptom of arthritis that will persist?
I am a 26 year old, 150lb, otherwise healthy male
TL;DR did a big bang on my big toe last june, doc says it’s healing, but curious what are symptoms of my new found PTOA and what are the injury healing
symptoms - pain when pushing off - pain when squatting and flexing it - toe looks slightly misaligned although both doctors said joint was not misaligned with x-ray - frequent popping (not painful)
(i have some screenshots of the mri in feb if anyone would like to see those, although i have definitely healed a lot since then)

Hello! For context, I am new to Reddit and don’t know if I am posting this in the right place. I am a 25f who is at her wit’s end with no direction because of everything that has happened to me in this past year (2024). Ever since I was a teenager I have been a hard worker - working retail, restaurant, and even at schools (sometimes two or three jobs at once) in order to save up enough money to move out of my parent’s house - because I genuinely needed OUT due to all the household pressures being put on me as the oldest of 7 siblings. At 23, I was finally able to accomplish my goal and found a teeny apartment about an hour and a half away in a decent town and I was ecstatic! Unfortunately, I was paying off student loans from my Associates degree as well as Culinary degree because my parents refused to file FAFSA and since I was a dependent, I got zero money from them (which I never expected or asked for anyways) or from the government to help me through school. If I’m being frank, it’s been really rough since I moved out. Luckily I have a very supportive partner (we don’t live together) who also reminds me that I was not okay, mentally nor physically, while living with my family and sometimes we have to choose the lesser “evil” or in this case if I prefer being mentally stable over somewhat financially stable. Within the past year my health, however, has gone unexpectedly downhill. I’ve been hospitalized 4 times since February and was even sent into Medical Leave from my full time job since I could not physically work anymore. I can’t drive, have developed extreme anxiety and PTSD due to my health (towards food, my life changing drastically from being very active to not even being able to stand up quickly or jog from one side of the house to another), and have been diagnosed with many things from countless doctors. My chronic illnesses have left me completely helpless. And I now have more worries and stress than I have ever had before. I just found out this semester that my Pell Grant for Summer 2024 won’t pay my full summer tuition after it had paid for my last two semesters in order for me to finish my Bachelors, I just got a ton of ER bills in the mail as well as from my Cardiologist, Gastro, Rheumatologist, and Neurologist from all the tests they have been and still are running on me, and I still have two more tests scheduled next month and July that I am debating if I should even do it because of how much money it’s going to cost me. All this with a grand total of $2000 as of right now in my name. Since I left work, seeing my bank account deplete due to bills and rent and just day-to-day expenses is completely wrecking me and I don’t know what to do. I’ve applied to hUNDREDS of at home jobs and I have hobbies I even tried to make money from… but nothing is working. The only thing getting me through is the free therapy sessions my school offers for being a student. I feel like I’m spiraling at every moment and that sometime soon Im just gonna poof! Disappear! Because it’s all just so much. Nobody around me knows about any of this either because I’ve kept it all in. Honestly, I figured typing this all out would help to organize things in my head a little bit better! My hope is that somebody will help guide me to any programs, job listings, or even give advice on how to cope through all of this since I don’t really have anybody in my life to help me. Thanks for reading, if you got this far, and I hope things are looking up for you fellow human :)

I’m sure I should wait to have the doctor let me know their interpretation of these results however that’s not how my brain works lol. After my skin biopsy came back positive for SFN the doctor sent for genetic testing and lots of bloodwork. Some of it is still pending however two of the results I have so far I’m wondering if it’s cause for concern and wondering if any of you had bloodwork results similar or understand what this means.
So the result for the “Vitamin B6, plasma” comes back saying high at 28.6 ng/ml. Reference range for normal is 2.1 ng/ml - 21.7 ng/ml. Is this result something that is not concerning/slightly elevated? I’ve had blood test results say high before then my doctor tell me it’s not a concerning number.
Second result is Rheumatoid Factor. I had this done in December and it doesn’t give you the number of the result it just says “<14” in a green block indicating my levels were lower than 14 IU/ml. Now when I got the new result the bar graph shows the previous date in a green bar on the left saying “<14” in the bar. And on the right is a grey bar with the new date, higher than the green bar and also says “<14”. Obviously I’m confused if it means my RF went up or not and why is it in grey, is grey bad?
Tests were done by Quest Diagnostics.

No matter how hard I try, good enough will I never be. I just cannot be good enough - at anything. And lately, I am too tired to prove.
Would like to see some kind of future to look forward to. I have none and it's hard to convince yourself to stay alive while you are too worthless to make yourself useful.
Yes I can teach myself hundreds of new skills - knowing that nothing I am actually capable of is good enough for anything. And I am tired. It's hard to prove anything when you never get enough sleep AND your eating habits are dangerous. Always defocused and despair can get a grip on me in no time.
My biggest achievement so far is being less engaged in self-harming behaviour (I mean the brutal, violent means of self-harming). Anorexia's staying here. I start to look ugly. And I don't have access to the help I need. (Really, I don't need a doctor or a therapist, since I have read so much about my condition and the practice of therapy that I could supply them with new information. I'd need IRL friends and someone who could give me the attention and approval I had never gotten from my parents. This makes me feel pathetic. I know I should grow the f*k up but unable to do so, and it makes me feel even more pathetic.)
It's mostly my conscience - and my guitar - that demotivates me in joining the majority. Want to get better but it seems to be impossible.