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AITAH (28F) for not wanting my father in law (65M) to pick back up the same habits that JUST gave him a stroke?
2024.05.21 17:19 chipsandqueso008 AITAH (28F) for not wanting my father in law (65M) to pick back up the same habits that JUST gave him a stroke?
My (28F) father in law (65M) recently had a major health scare last year and he had a stroke. Excessive drinking, smoking and poor health habits, gave him extremely high BP, which led to a stroke. He has been on an upward path this last year quitting it all, until he recently told my husband and I that he will be drinking at the next family gathering.
For context, most of his life he has been an alcoholic and a heavy smoker. He is extremely stubborn and he has ruined most of the relationships with those around him. These habits contributed to his divorce several years ago. He is very polite and kind to my husband and I, but my husband has expressed to me that his Dad was a mean drunk growing up, and so the position he is in (being alone and sad) are all due to his poor choices. My husband does love his Dad and has not held the past gainst him, as his Dad does not get belligerent anymore. Most experiences are pleasant, despite his awful habits.
Following the stroke, my husband and I have helped with preparing meals, organizing medications, doctors visits, etc. During this time my father-in-law adopted healthier habits. He cleaned his house (which was filthy and in hoarder condition), completely quit drinking, smoking, and began eating very healthy. However, he is now at a point where he can do normal things on his own again.
He recently disclosed at the next upcoming family get together, he is going to be drinking.
I am anxious because drinking is what leads him to wanting to smoke. Also, he used to smoke in the house he lives in. I say “the” house, because I need to include, my husband OWNS the house my father-in-law lives in, and he already asked him not to smoke in it. My father-in-law did it anyway, because again, he is very stubborn and will only do things the way he wants. I could not stand being over there due to the smell, and the disrespect towards my husband’s wishes adds to my frustration.
I am worried that when my father-in-law has those first few sips at this upcoming get together, it will lead him right back to his regular habits of heavy drinking and smoking (in the house) everyday. My father-in-law feels drinking is required in order to have an enjoyable time, but he then pushes my husband to do participate. Fortunately, because my husband knows the negative consequences of alcohol, he rarely ever drinks and when he does, he does his best to limit himself. My father-in-law has made multiple comments towards me that he “feels my husband should enjoy himself”. but he feels this way only because it benefits HIM. In the instances my husband drinks too much, we end up arguing. I have even told my father-in-law this. He doesn’t care, because he didn’t care in his own marriage, which is a huge reason it failed. I feel he views me as a wife controlling her husband’s drinking, but my husband choosing to limit himself is our compromise and what works for our marriage. My father-in-law only makes comments like this to me when my husband isn’t around, and my husband does not like that he does this.
Added context, I do not drink at all, as I grew up with a very mean, alcoholic father, who is actually an even worse alcoholic now. I do not like being around ANYONE who is drunk, simply because of the unpredictable nature of it. I can handle people being buzzed from a few drinks to enjoy themselves, but I can’t handle people being drunk. My husband is super supportive and understanding towards this.
Am I wrong with feeling potentially resentful towards my father-in-law? I am worried resentment will creep in when I see my father-in-law drinking and potentially smoking at this gathering. I am completely aware I can’t control the choices of anyone, including my father-in-law, but it feels so disrespectful considering we bent over backwards to help him get back into good health, just for him to potentially jump ship and go back to his old ways. I want to express there weren’t strings attached to us helping him out after his stroke with getting healthy, as my husband and I are both aware we can’t control his choices at the end of the day. I am mainly worried just about the habits starting back up.
Again, it just really infuriates me that my husband has literally put a roof over my father-in-laws head, and has asked him politely not to smoke in the house, and he chose to do it anyway back then. Not only did he smoke in it, but it was also filthy nasty in there. If my FIL starts these habits again, I know I will feel angry.
TL;DR- I am worried about getting resentful towards my father-in-law at a family gathering for going back to his old habits, right after having a stroke, due to those habits.
submitted by chipsandqueso008 to AITAH [link] [comments]
For context, most of his life he has been an alcoholic and a heavy smoker. He is extremely stubborn and he has ruined most of the relationships with those around him. These habits contributed to his divorce several years ago. He is very polite and kind to my husband and I, but my husband has expressed to me that his Dad was a mean drunk growing up, and so the position he is in (being alone and sad) are all due to his poor choices. My husband does love his Dad and has not held the past gainst him, as his Dad does not get belligerent anymore. Most experiences are pleasant, despite his awful habits.
Following the stroke, my husband and I have helped with preparing meals, organizing medications, doctors visits, etc. During this time my father-in-law adopted healthier habits. He cleaned his house (which was filthy and in hoarder condition), completely quit drinking, smoking, and began eating very healthy. However, he is now at a point where he can do normal things on his own again.
He recently disclosed at the next upcoming family get together, he is going to be drinking.
I am anxious because drinking is what leads him to wanting to smoke. Also, he used to smoke in the house he lives in. I say “the” house, because I need to include, my husband OWNS the house my father-in-law lives in, and he already asked him not to smoke in it. My father-in-law did it anyway, because again, he is very stubborn and will only do things the way he wants. I could not stand being over there due to the smell, and the disrespect towards my husband’s wishes adds to my frustration.
I am worried that when my father-in-law has those first few sips at this upcoming get together, it will lead him right back to his regular habits of heavy drinking and smoking (in the house) everyday. My father-in-law feels drinking is required in order to have an enjoyable time, but he then pushes my husband to do participate. Fortunately, because my husband knows the negative consequences of alcohol, he rarely ever drinks and when he does, he does his best to limit himself. My father-in-law has made multiple comments towards me that he “feels my husband should enjoy himself”. but he feels this way only because it benefits HIM. In the instances my husband drinks too much, we end up arguing. I have even told my father-in-law this. He doesn’t care, because he didn’t care in his own marriage, which is a huge reason it failed. I feel he views me as a wife controlling her husband’s drinking, but my husband choosing to limit himself is our compromise and what works for our marriage. My father-in-law only makes comments like this to me when my husband isn’t around, and my husband does not like that he does this.
Added context, I do not drink at all, as I grew up with a very mean, alcoholic father, who is actually an even worse alcoholic now. I do not like being around ANYONE who is drunk, simply because of the unpredictable nature of it. I can handle people being buzzed from a few drinks to enjoy themselves, but I can’t handle people being drunk. My husband is super supportive and understanding towards this.
Am I wrong with feeling potentially resentful towards my father-in-law? I am worried resentment will creep in when I see my father-in-law drinking and potentially smoking at this gathering. I am completely aware I can’t control the choices of anyone, including my father-in-law, but it feels so disrespectful considering we bent over backwards to help him get back into good health, just for him to potentially jump ship and go back to his old ways. I want to express there weren’t strings attached to us helping him out after his stroke with getting healthy, as my husband and I are both aware we can’t control his choices at the end of the day. I am mainly worried just about the habits starting back up.
Again, it just really infuriates me that my husband has literally put a roof over my father-in-laws head, and has asked him politely not to smoke in the house, and he chose to do it anyway back then. Not only did he smoke in it, but it was also filthy nasty in there. If my FIL starts these habits again, I know I will feel angry.
TL;DR- I am worried about getting resentful towards my father-in-law at a family gathering for going back to his old habits, right after having a stroke, due to those habits.
2024.05.21 17:18 Disgruntled_Veteran Jeremy Uses Suicide To Manipulate
So in a video poster today, Jeremy once again uses the threat of suicide to try to manipulate someone. In this case, his wife. He tells her that if he has to stay in jail that he'll kill himself. He says that she needs to take his daughter and move to Egypt and find her a good daddy.
Of course, he's not doing this because he actually wants his daughter to have good father that will love her, be there for her, and take care of her. He's not doing this because he wants his wife to find a husband that's not going to cheat on her and who will genuinely love her. He's just doing this so he can manipulate his wife into doing things for him.
Would the world be better off without Jeremy DeWitte? I mean we wouldn't have his entertaining videos, but there'd be one less child predator out there.
Would his family be better off with somebody else? Most definitely. He manipulates and abuses them.
https://youtu.be/skTvSQFTbNo?si=OzmT6NWr-7hq6Jnh
submitted by Disgruntled_Veteran to JeremyDewitte [link] [comments]
Of course, he's not doing this because he actually wants his daughter to have good father that will love her, be there for her, and take care of her. He's not doing this because he wants his wife to find a husband that's not going to cheat on her and who will genuinely love her. He's just doing this so he can manipulate his wife into doing things for him.
Would the world be better off without Jeremy DeWitte? I mean we wouldn't have his entertaining videos, but there'd be one less child predator out there.
Would his family be better off with somebody else? Most definitely. He manipulates and abuses them.
https://youtu.be/skTvSQFTbNo?si=OzmT6NWr-7hq6Jnh
2024.05.21 17:18 getPayback I Need Help Testing A Consumer Protection Idea
Hey all, I read through the guidelines here so I'm hoping this is ok, but I've come up with an idea that I think can help some people who are tight on money moving forward. Full disclosure, this is for a business idea that I've been trying to build out to protect consumers, I just need some initial people to help me test it out.
The TL:DR here is this - A lot of online stores (and plenty of in person) take advantage of people who are looking for a "good deal". I've worked with countless lawyers to create the bones of a system that will do the following:
If that sounds like something you'd be interested in using as a test user, my site is GetPayback.com.
When testing this with a friend who helped by placing some test orders, I was able to get a 50% refund rate with no returns required: 1 for $45 and one for $256. Here's what my friend told me: "Getting that money back was actually a huge help with some bills we were behind on." After learning from that initial test, on orders that meet the criteria, I think I'll be able to get a 90% refund rate and the other 10% of cases will end up going to lawyers who maybe can help you by getting you more than a full refund - a max of $2,500 + refund if you meet certain criteria.
My goal here is to protect at-risk consumers from shady businesses who are looking to take advantage of you by selling you products that aren't the quality you think you're getting at a "great deal". I've spent the last year trying to come up with a solution for this. I've talked to almost a dozen lawyers on figuring out how to stop brands from using these deceptive practices, however, most of the lawyers didn't even know these things are illegal, which made me realize that the only real way to fight back was to protect consumers directly and help you Get Payback, which is where the name comes from - I spent $5,000 on that domain by the way, just because I'm that confident in this idea and I'm that passionate about protecting people like you, and protecting brands who simply don't know better.
When testing this, one brand that issued a refund fixed their entire website 30 minutes after issuing the refund and stopped using the deceptive practices against consumers, which to me was a huge win. My friend got a $45 refund and stopped other consumers from being taken advantage. Had the issue gone right to a lawyer, it likely would have cost the business $20,000+ in a lawsuit, so I saved them $19,950+.
I know this is a new account, but I can't use anything personal as I don't want the businesses I'm targeting for refunds to know who's behind this. But just know, this entire idea is a huge way to take advantage of businesses who are blatantly taking advantage of you.
The loophole here is that if I tell you what's illegal and you use that specifically to shop and get refunds on things, you'd be violating this Subs rule #3, so I'd prefer to not tell you. Just know that it's illegal, but it's not enforced well enough by the government, only by very specific lawyers. In researching this, many of the lawyers I spoke with didn't even know that what I described was illegal. I've seen comments on Quora saying, "Every business does it, so why does anyone even care?"
To that, I'd say that no, most businesses do not do it, but an alarming amount do. I see it myself all the time and I even fall victim to it every now and then. But, they do it because it works. As a business, the #1 goal is to get more money from more customers while spending less money on ads. These tactics do that using psychological tricks that are illegal. By using these tricks, you're more likely to buy from that business than from a competitor, which means that not only is that business tricking you and harming you, they're harming their competition by competing in a way that isn't fair to anyone.
I know this was a long post, but I also realize that if this goes well, this kind of could end up being a little historical post about how this idea and company got started.
submitted by getPayback to povertyfinance [link] [comments]
The TL:DR here is this - A lot of online stores (and plenty of in person) take advantage of people who are looking for a "good deal". I've worked with countless lawyers to create the bones of a system that will do the following:
- Track your online orders (can't do retail, yet)
- Find and identify stores that took advantage of you and are high-value targets for lawyers
- Negotiate a refund on your behalf without a lawyer being involved
If that sounds like something you'd be interested in using as a test user, my site is GetPayback.com.
When testing this with a friend who helped by placing some test orders, I was able to get a 50% refund rate with no returns required: 1 for $45 and one for $256. Here's what my friend told me: "Getting that money back was actually a huge help with some bills we were behind on." After learning from that initial test, on orders that meet the criteria, I think I'll be able to get a 90% refund rate and the other 10% of cases will end up going to lawyers who maybe can help you by getting you more than a full refund - a max of $2,500 + refund if you meet certain criteria.
My goal here is to protect at-risk consumers from shady businesses who are looking to take advantage of you by selling you products that aren't the quality you think you're getting at a "great deal". I've spent the last year trying to come up with a solution for this. I've talked to almost a dozen lawyers on figuring out how to stop brands from using these deceptive practices, however, most of the lawyers didn't even know these things are illegal, which made me realize that the only real way to fight back was to protect consumers directly and help you Get Payback, which is where the name comes from - I spent $5,000 on that domain by the way, just because I'm that confident in this idea and I'm that passionate about protecting people like you, and protecting brands who simply don't know better.
When testing this, one brand that issued a refund fixed their entire website 30 minutes after issuing the refund and stopped using the deceptive practices against consumers, which to me was a huge win. My friend got a $45 refund and stopped other consumers from being taken advantage. Had the issue gone right to a lawyer, it likely would have cost the business $20,000+ in a lawsuit, so I saved them $19,950+.
I know this is a new account, but I can't use anything personal as I don't want the businesses I'm targeting for refunds to know who's behind this. But just know, this entire idea is a huge way to take advantage of businesses who are blatantly taking advantage of you.
The loophole here is that if I tell you what's illegal and you use that specifically to shop and get refunds on things, you'd be violating this Subs rule #3, so I'd prefer to not tell you. Just know that it's illegal, but it's not enforced well enough by the government, only by very specific lawyers. In researching this, many of the lawyers I spoke with didn't even know that what I described was illegal. I've seen comments on Quora saying, "Every business does it, so why does anyone even care?"
To that, I'd say that no, most businesses do not do it, but an alarming amount do. I see it myself all the time and I even fall victim to it every now and then. But, they do it because it works. As a business, the #1 goal is to get more money from more customers while spending less money on ads. These tactics do that using psychological tricks that are illegal. By using these tricks, you're more likely to buy from that business than from a competitor, which means that not only is that business tricking you and harming you, they're harming their competition by competing in a way that isn't fair to anyone.
I know this was a long post, but I also realize that if this goes well, this kind of could end up being a little historical post about how this idea and company got started.
2024.05.21 17:17 somniferousplant Baby girl name anxiety
My baby is 10 weeks old and I’ve had a sudden urge of anxiety about her name.
I really loved it during pregnancy, though admittedly there was always a slight feeling of ‘not quite right’ness and I couldn’t put my finger on it. We had a shortlist of around 7 names and I figured we would see what she looked like when she born. However, she ended up suiting all the names so it was hard. We ended up choosing the original name in the end as it seemed like the easiest to pronounce and went well together with my surname. It also came to me in a bit of an epiphany during pregnancy so it felt more special than the others. The name is Nadia.
Well, since registering her, I look at her and I don’t feel like it suits her. When I/people say her name, it feels somewhat…forced? A few people have acted surprised when I told them her name, as they said they expected something more Italian (I’m half italian/british) and that they thought it was Arabic. We are white and she is fair, and so I worry it looks somewhat culturally appropriative. The only people I know called Nadia are Italian, though it seems I’m in a minority here.
I have since searched the name on Reddit and Google and can see that there are results that didn’t come up when I first searched. Namely an online gamer, a fundie influencer, and a character in the recent series of You, all of whom seem kinda hated. I don’t know if it’s just reading lots of negative comments about people with this name, but I’m now worried it’s got negative connotations. A name that I loved for meaning ‘hope’ now, ironically, seems to carry a lot of negativity. This is made worse by the fact that her most intuitive nicknames - Nads and Nadzi - sound like Gonads and Nazi, respectively.
Will she be associated with these people? Is it even a nice name? How bad is the nickname thing? What do you associate with it? Italians: is it popular in Italy? Do you think it works for a white girl?
The other top names we had were Lucia and Chiara, but the multiple pronunciation interpretations bothered me.
I'm scared I made a huge mistake. Please help ease this anxious mum’s brain 🙏🏼
submitted by somniferousplant to namenerds [link] [comments]
I really loved it during pregnancy, though admittedly there was always a slight feeling of ‘not quite right’ness and I couldn’t put my finger on it. We had a shortlist of around 7 names and I figured we would see what she looked like when she born. However, she ended up suiting all the names so it was hard. We ended up choosing the original name in the end as it seemed like the easiest to pronounce and went well together with my surname. It also came to me in a bit of an epiphany during pregnancy so it felt more special than the others. The name is Nadia.
Well, since registering her, I look at her and I don’t feel like it suits her. When I/people say her name, it feels somewhat…forced? A few people have acted surprised when I told them her name, as they said they expected something more Italian (I’m half italian/british) and that they thought it was Arabic. We are white and she is fair, and so I worry it looks somewhat culturally appropriative. The only people I know called Nadia are Italian, though it seems I’m in a minority here.
I have since searched the name on Reddit and Google and can see that there are results that didn’t come up when I first searched. Namely an online gamer, a fundie influencer, and a character in the recent series of You, all of whom seem kinda hated. I don’t know if it’s just reading lots of negative comments about people with this name, but I’m now worried it’s got negative connotations. A name that I loved for meaning ‘hope’ now, ironically, seems to carry a lot of negativity. This is made worse by the fact that her most intuitive nicknames - Nads and Nadzi - sound like Gonads and Nazi, respectively.
Will she be associated with these people? Is it even a nice name? How bad is the nickname thing? What do you associate with it? Italians: is it popular in Italy? Do you think it works for a white girl?
The other top names we had were Lucia and Chiara, but the multiple pronunciation interpretations bothered me.
I'm scared I made a huge mistake. Please help ease this anxious mum’s brain 🙏🏼
2024.05.21 17:17 freespiritedgal What are your biggest dating hangups at this age?
Sadly, I've been married twice. Something I am quite ashamed of, but realize it happens. My first marriage was to my high-school sweetheart and it didn't last much more than over a year. My second was for 9 years... both of us were not innocent in the divorce, but I ended up with his biological son, whom he left with me. I wouldn't have it any other way.... I have dated here and there and was wild crazy about someone who ghosted me after a 9 month relationship (2 years after my 2nd divorce)
With everything that I've been through, I'd say my biggest dating hangup is trust. It's so hard to know if someone will stay, change, leave, if I ever get married a 3rd time-- it's a huge gamble... so I am just peacefully living my life, doing my own thing, hoping and praying I'll learn to trust again and I just want to make sure this time it will be for the long haul.
What's your hangups? How can you heal to allow better energy in your life to become receptive to love?
submitted by freespiritedgal to datingoverforty [link] [comments]
With everything that I've been through, I'd say my biggest dating hangup is trust. It's so hard to know if someone will stay, change, leave, if I ever get married a 3rd time-- it's a huge gamble... so I am just peacefully living my life, doing my own thing, hoping and praying I'll learn to trust again and I just want to make sure this time it will be for the long haul.
What's your hangups? How can you heal to allow better energy in your life to become receptive to love?
2024.05.21 17:16 AstronomerMany3984 Date idea advice/best stargazing spots
Hey guys. So I live about 2 hours from Normal but recently have been talking to a girl from there. I don’t know much of the area. I’m going to visit this weekend and have been trying to plan a good date day. Was thinking doing something fun, going to dinner, then ending the night with some stargazing. Was wondering if anyone had any ideas of some fun things to do in the area (like arcade, trampoline park, etc.), suggestions on good places to go for dinner, and suggestions on some good spots to stargaze. Willing to drive out of town a bit to get some good spots to gaze or for something fun to do. Really like this girl and wanna make the day as special as I can, especially since this is really the first time we’ve been able to do something together with our busy schedules and being far away. Thank you guys I really appreciate it.
submitted by AstronomerMany3984 to BloomingtonNormal [link] [comments]
2024.05.21 17:16 Candypinkspaceship Poly rabbit hole
Ok so I’ve had a thing for this dude for like a year but I’ve been trying to avoid moving our friendship passed that because I have no experience with poly relationships and from the outside I, being a mono by just lack of exposure to healthy examples, really didn’t want to get into it. He’s communicated he is this and I’ve always just been like that’s cool for you I’ll be over here not that lol. Recently tho we have gotten into more complicated territory (physical) and so no one is forcing me to but on my own interest I am on a hyper fixation/ research binge. From what I’ve been researching (mostly through this thread and googling terms i don’t recognize + ig/tik tok (I have pretty well developed critical thinking skills and personal knowledge of myself)) I actually might not have such a problem with this In theory. Theory being people actually are mature enough to actually communicate to the level I require so my brain doesn’t spiral out. But in mono situations no one really communicates there either so I am actually very interested in the structure I’m seeing with the understanding people can just be shit no matter how hard they are trying which is unfortunate. Any way - he has a nesting partner and 2 partners who are married , kids from a previous relationship and a job and I am struggling a little with how spread thin he is so I decided well I’ll just continue dating and see how it goes. I do not involve myself with people on a purely sexual level without actually having a deeper connection with the person first so I was a little distraught. I don’t really just date and hook up so being as I’m more intentional I don’t date often or even like most people so I want to see if there’s an opportunity here to not mess up our friendship by not having the vocabulary to express my needs or fully understand his. We are both interested in kink. I am kinky and have a more dominant personality but he has been so kind I trust him to be a softer version of myself that I am interested in exploring. So basically this is a seeking advice on what good resources could be that aren’t boring or drawn out because I have raging adhd and tend to go look up a term and end up not even knowing where I started lol just full of information. Please no negative energy. I am thinking I could be actually the type to do this just in a more independent way probably. Thank you in advance.
submitted by Candypinkspaceship to polyamory [link] [comments]
2024.05.21 17:15 reaperoffate66 Feeling regret..
23w1d FTM, 24yo that got pregnant being with my bf for about two months... I asked him how ready is he for this and I know no one is ever truly ready because I definitely was not when I found out. We discussed the option of abortion, had an appointment set up and everything, but then discussed on how we want to keep it. Yesterday when I asked him that question his answer was " i guess it will be like babysitting, but permanently." I don't know why that bothered me so much but I cried all night last night with the feeling of regret and a bunch of other emotions. It is so much more than just babysitting to me, it's supposed to be a piece of your heart and best friend one day.. but I don't know if he feels that way based off of his answer. Am I overreacting or is this a normal guy thing to say? He told me that his answer would probably be any other guys answer as well and I just feel like it was really mundane.
submitted by reaperoffate66 to BabyBumps [link] [comments]
2024.05.21 17:15 Loose-Source-2134 I drunkly butt dialed my ex while on a date with a new man
This happened yesterday and I’m still in complete shock. Here’s a short background into my ex (all fake names). So I (22F) was with Brandon (22M) for only a few months last fall. Overall he was not a good boyfriend. He was very selfish and r*ped me on multiple occasions. Then would proceed to gaslight me into thinking it wasn’t a big deal and I gaslit myself into thinking it too. It wasn’t until I finally had enough and I dumped him right before new years after being together for 3 months. I was sad for about 24 hours and then I was completely fine and over him.
Fast forward to March and I met a new guy Charlie (23M). He seemed great and we truly hit it off. To make a very long story short this man was not who he said he was. It was really messy but I cut that off immediately when I got the “hey girlie” text that he was seeing a total of 4 women that we know of. There was a lot to that story and all the lies he was telling weren’t adding up. I was truly scared for my safety.
The evening of me ending everything with Charlie my ex Brandon requested to follow me on instagram. This was all too much of a coincidence. I was in a not healthy state of mind that day so I convinced myself that he knew what had happened to me that day. I dm him a question mark trying to figure out what he could possible want. He said he just wanted to check in on me. That’s when I asked him if he knew what had happened to me and I told him I was not doing well. Next thing I know I end up in his apartment telling him the hour long version of the story I mentioned above. To top it all off there were then tornadoes that night. I felt like the universe was simply out to get me.
After I told him everything he asks if he can give me a hug. I said yes cause I really needed one in that moment. He then proceeds to leave the hug and bend down and kiss me. He asks if that was ok and I was simply shocked. He then confesses his love for me and tells me he can’t stop thinking about me and all the good times we had. In my opinion there were very few of those but even after everything I still cared about him as a person. I had absolutely no romantic feelings but he was still in love with me.
We come to the conclusion that we will be fwb. He was leaving to go on vacation in a week and was going to be gone for a month. This was only going to be a short arrangement. We hooked up several times and it was a million times better than when we were together. Interesting how that works. I still had no feelings for him it was simply just sex to me. He kept trying to get back with me and I kept telling him no. I asked him several times if he could handle just fwb and he said he could and that he didn’t want to lose me again.
Now I met Luke (22M) a week ago. We hit it off and went on several dates. He’s such a sweet man and something I haven’t found in a while. Yesterday he invited me to go kayaking with him and his best friend. I very happily agreed and we had a wonderful time. We kayaked down the river, had a lot of drinks, made friends with the other kayakers and just continued to get to know each other. At one point Luke saw that there was a woman who was stuck in the brush on the side of the river. He tries to go and help her (shoutout to him for being so kind) but tips his kayak losing his phone in the river.
We make it off the river and back to his truck. He needed to call his mom about losing the phone and having to go to the store to get a new one. He uses my phone to call her and then hands me my phone back still on but I didn’t realize it at the time. Me and his friend were both several drinks deep and having a great time. I don’t even know what we were talking about but I look down at my phone and see that I had called Brandon. I have no idea if he picked up or if I was leaving a message but it was 3 mins long. I freaked out and hung up the phone in complete shock. The guys were very confused and I had to explain what just happened.
We make it back to his house and I need a minute to be alone. I couldn’t believe that just happened. I really like Luke and I don’t want to mess anything up. The guys go inside not realizing that I then went to just sit in my car (I did not turn it on I just needed a minute to break down without anyone with me). I break down and immediately go to block Brandon on everything. The guys come out quickly after to see me just sitting in my car. They come over and are being goofy not realizing I was sobbing. I could not stop apologizing thinking I just screwed everything up. He was so kind to me and mostly just felt bad for the unfortunate circumstance I found myself in. Luke and I have only been talking a week so obviously there hasn’t been any commitment to each other type of conversation just yet. Both guys did their best to make light of the situation and just try and make me laugh which is what I needed in that moment. I pulled myself together and when I got out of my car Luke pulled me into a big hug.
So yeah. My ex is completely blocked on everything. I have no idea what he heard or how he feels. I realize that I am probably an asshole in all of this. But what are the odds that out of everyone in my phone he was the one I called? It’ll be funny in probably a couple months but I’m currently embarrassed and petrified.
submitted by Loose-Source-2134 to TwoHotTakes [link] [comments]
Fast forward to March and I met a new guy Charlie (23M). He seemed great and we truly hit it off. To make a very long story short this man was not who he said he was. It was really messy but I cut that off immediately when I got the “hey girlie” text that he was seeing a total of 4 women that we know of. There was a lot to that story and all the lies he was telling weren’t adding up. I was truly scared for my safety.
The evening of me ending everything with Charlie my ex Brandon requested to follow me on instagram. This was all too much of a coincidence. I was in a not healthy state of mind that day so I convinced myself that he knew what had happened to me that day. I dm him a question mark trying to figure out what he could possible want. He said he just wanted to check in on me. That’s when I asked him if he knew what had happened to me and I told him I was not doing well. Next thing I know I end up in his apartment telling him the hour long version of the story I mentioned above. To top it all off there were then tornadoes that night. I felt like the universe was simply out to get me.
After I told him everything he asks if he can give me a hug. I said yes cause I really needed one in that moment. He then proceeds to leave the hug and bend down and kiss me. He asks if that was ok and I was simply shocked. He then confesses his love for me and tells me he can’t stop thinking about me and all the good times we had. In my opinion there were very few of those but even after everything I still cared about him as a person. I had absolutely no romantic feelings but he was still in love with me.
We come to the conclusion that we will be fwb. He was leaving to go on vacation in a week and was going to be gone for a month. This was only going to be a short arrangement. We hooked up several times and it was a million times better than when we were together. Interesting how that works. I still had no feelings for him it was simply just sex to me. He kept trying to get back with me and I kept telling him no. I asked him several times if he could handle just fwb and he said he could and that he didn’t want to lose me again.
Now I met Luke (22M) a week ago. We hit it off and went on several dates. He’s such a sweet man and something I haven’t found in a while. Yesterday he invited me to go kayaking with him and his best friend. I very happily agreed and we had a wonderful time. We kayaked down the river, had a lot of drinks, made friends with the other kayakers and just continued to get to know each other. At one point Luke saw that there was a woman who was stuck in the brush on the side of the river. He tries to go and help her (shoutout to him for being so kind) but tips his kayak losing his phone in the river.
We make it off the river and back to his truck. He needed to call his mom about losing the phone and having to go to the store to get a new one. He uses my phone to call her and then hands me my phone back still on but I didn’t realize it at the time. Me and his friend were both several drinks deep and having a great time. I don’t even know what we were talking about but I look down at my phone and see that I had called Brandon. I have no idea if he picked up or if I was leaving a message but it was 3 mins long. I freaked out and hung up the phone in complete shock. The guys were very confused and I had to explain what just happened.
We make it back to his house and I need a minute to be alone. I couldn’t believe that just happened. I really like Luke and I don’t want to mess anything up. The guys go inside not realizing that I then went to just sit in my car (I did not turn it on I just needed a minute to break down without anyone with me). I break down and immediately go to block Brandon on everything. The guys come out quickly after to see me just sitting in my car. They come over and are being goofy not realizing I was sobbing. I could not stop apologizing thinking I just screwed everything up. He was so kind to me and mostly just felt bad for the unfortunate circumstance I found myself in. Luke and I have only been talking a week so obviously there hasn’t been any commitment to each other type of conversation just yet. Both guys did their best to make light of the situation and just try and make me laugh which is what I needed in that moment. I pulled myself together and when I got out of my car Luke pulled me into a big hug.
So yeah. My ex is completely blocked on everything. I have no idea what he heard or how he feels. I realize that I am probably an asshole in all of this. But what are the odds that out of everyone in my phone he was the one I called? It’ll be funny in probably a couple months but I’m currently embarrassed and petrified.
2024.05.21 17:15 Secret_Phobia I hate power scaling
 | To power scalers in this sub, I am sorry, but I have to say it: I hate the power scaling community. As you can see, I just searched 'SCP-3812' on YouTube, and most of the results are about power scaling edits. In my opinion, SCP-3812 is a great SCP, but people are missing the main point of the article and just focusing on how powerful this anomaly is, which is both annoying and disappointing. SCP-3812 is just one example. The same thing goes for many other SCPs too. Not to mention, most of the people who make these videos and those who watch them don't even do proper research about the SCP Foundation. I have seen many people in the power scaling community who claim that "new SCPs are just written to be powerful" or similar things, which alone proves they doesn't know a thing. submitted by Secret_Phobia to SCP [link] [comments] What do you think about this topic? |
2024.05.21 17:14 Charming-Love-4874 Osana (Rival) is trashy boring now.
I get it... As the FIRST Rival, Osana is meant to be the easiest rival of the game (Besides Kaguya). But after playing a bit of Yandere Sim (A video I posted of me speedrunning Amai), I forgot to mention Osana, whose week now is boring.
How is it that Chalice-Dev made Osana a challenging rival at first, but then makes her week feel boring and rubbish to play? It sucks honestly. The students aren't chatting anywhere, making Osana feel too easy to eliminate now. Just: Lure Raibaru away, Attack Osana, done. Thanks to the new Challenge thing, you make Raibaru just... try to apprehend you, only to fail doing so since CHANCES are you'll have PE 1 thanks to the gaming club (or martial arts club).
And I know some may say: "Why not hide the body??" Because there's no reason to hide it at this point in time. Eliminating Osana has no side effects besides a Security Camera in a confusing location (The entrance of the school), Making Raibaru... cry at the tree they chatted at, and I guess make Senpai depresso, but aside from those NO POINT! So what was the point in adding "consequences" if it's considered useless?
That's not to also mention the scripted events that make you unable to talk to Osana or Raibaru. Compare it to 1980s mode (Yknow. The SIDE mode) and Kaguya has like 2-3 scripted events PER DAY. Osana has scripted events back to back and makes it unavailable to talk to her until she can SHUT UP. Even after the beginning conversation(s), she still has scripted events, making it UNAVAILABLE to talk to Osana past 7:30. This makes it so you have a VERY small window to talk to Osana, and do what you needed to do.
The Elimination methods are... Ok. Pool is the most tedious, having to lure 6 whole girls away from Osana via scripted events or a VERY specific way that overall feels like a drag. Fan is my personal favorite as it ACTUALLY provides planning. You have to take into consideration on what you gotta do: "Are you going to get the raincoat? What tools are you gonna use? How are you gonna dispose the body?" It's little stuff like that which makes me love the Elimination. Befriend/Betray is also alright, not too much to mention other than the alt path system.
Overall, Osana got a severe downgrade as a rival, and overall feels boring to eliminate, even if she's meant to be the first. Just because she's the first, doesn't mean she CAN'T be fun to eliminate (Moeko was FAR better imo).
submitted by Charming-Love-4874 to Osana [link] [comments]
How is it that Chalice-Dev made Osana a challenging rival at first, but then makes her week feel boring and rubbish to play? It sucks honestly. The students aren't chatting anywhere, making Osana feel too easy to eliminate now. Just: Lure Raibaru away, Attack Osana, done. Thanks to the new Challenge thing, you make Raibaru just... try to apprehend you, only to fail doing so since CHANCES are you'll have PE 1 thanks to the gaming club (or martial arts club).
And I know some may say: "Why not hide the body??" Because there's no reason to hide it at this point in time. Eliminating Osana has no side effects besides a Security Camera in a confusing location (The entrance of the school), Making Raibaru... cry at the tree they chatted at, and I guess make Senpai depresso, but aside from those NO POINT! So what was the point in adding "consequences" if it's considered useless?
That's not to also mention the scripted events that make you unable to talk to Osana or Raibaru. Compare it to 1980s mode (Yknow. The SIDE mode) and Kaguya has like 2-3 scripted events PER DAY. Osana has scripted events back to back and makes it unavailable to talk to her until she can SHUT UP. Even after the beginning conversation(s), she still has scripted events, making it UNAVAILABLE to talk to Osana past 7:30. This makes it so you have a VERY small window to talk to Osana, and do what you needed to do.
The Elimination methods are... Ok. Pool is the most tedious, having to lure 6 whole girls away from Osana via scripted events or a VERY specific way that overall feels like a drag. Fan is my personal favorite as it ACTUALLY provides planning. You have to take into consideration on what you gotta do: "Are you going to get the raincoat? What tools are you gonna use? How are you gonna dispose the body?" It's little stuff like that which makes me love the Elimination. Befriend/Betray is also alright, not too much to mention other than the alt path system.
Overall, Osana got a severe downgrade as a rival, and overall feels boring to eliminate, even if she's meant to be the first. Just because she's the first, doesn't mean she CAN'T be fun to eliminate (Moeko was FAR better imo).
2024.05.21 17:14 GrumpigPlays Can someone link some of the strats for this game?
I really like this game, and I am a huge pokemon fan. I dont know if anyone else is getting this vibe, but Im trying to do as much as possible because imo this game is getting shut down.
It sucks but the devs are like doing everything possible to make Nintendo C&D them. Now this is not relevant to my post, but if any devs read this sub I really recommend two things. Just remove the player and run count on the home screen.
Anyway on to my main point lol. I have completed a couple runs up to 200 but I have never made it even close to those crazy screenshots I see on the reddit and discord. I would say the highest level I have gotten to is about 150, but clearly people are reaching 5 and 6 digit numbers. So if anyone could help me out with understanding the strats to reach these high runs. I really want to compete on the daily run scoreboard so im very interested in getting good.
submitted by GrumpigPlays to pokerogue [link] [comments]
It sucks but the devs are like doing everything possible to make Nintendo C&D them. Now this is not relevant to my post, but if any devs read this sub I really recommend two things. Just remove the player and run count on the home screen.
Anyway on to my main point lol. I have completed a couple runs up to 200 but I have never made it even close to those crazy screenshots I see on the reddit and discord. I would say the highest level I have gotten to is about 150, but clearly people are reaching 5 and 6 digit numbers. So if anyone could help me out with understanding the strats to reach these high runs. I really want to compete on the daily run scoreboard so im very interested in getting good.
2024.05.21 17:14 Katerator216 Congestion question
Hi! My 11 week old is congested. When she is in a sitting position I notice it most. She is otherwise super happy, sleeps great and doesn’t seem to have any other issues. One thing I’ve noticed is that she has started drooling SO much this past week. We go through like 3 bibs a day that get soaked. She does cough sometimes but I’d say maybe 1-2 times a day and I honestly think it may be when she semi chokes on her saliva. Her breathing seems normal but I did notice her having retractions last night after bath time but she was super excited, playful, and had the hiccups so I think that caused it. I kept a close eye and didn’t notice it again. Is this congestion cause for a doc visit? I tend to overreact about everything involving her lol and my husband is convinced she is fine!!
We run an air purifier in her room and the nanit says her humidity is at a good level. We live in an older building so it could totally be an air quality issue. I do have a humidifier but dont know if it would make it too damp! I also use the Fridanose on her but the boogers/snot is nothing out of the ordinary.
submitted by Katerator216 to newborns [link] [comments]
We run an air purifier in her room and the nanit says her humidity is at a good level. We live in an older building so it could totally be an air quality issue. I do have a humidifier but dont know if it would make it too damp! I also use the Fridanose on her but the boogers/snot is nothing out of the ordinary.
2024.05.21 17:13 Calliesdad20 Presumptive disability for ssi
I got presumptive approval on Feb 2 for ascending thoraic dialtion I assume ?, Got sent to a psych ce exam a few weeks ago
Ssa says 90 percent done - but that doesn’t mean anything I know ssa can pay 6 months of presumptive disability But what happens if they don’t reach a decision by then .
Or if get rejected , can I go back on state disability ,while I appeal . The whole thing is stressful, which isn’t good for my conditions.
I asked ssa makes it more likely to be approved, they replied it can go either way
submitted by Calliesdad20 to SocialSecurity [link] [comments]
Ssa says 90 percent done - but that doesn’t mean anything I know ssa can pay 6 months of presumptive disability But what happens if they don’t reach a decision by then .
Or if get rejected , can I go back on state disability ,while I appeal . The whole thing is stressful, which isn’t good for my conditions.
I asked ssa makes it more likely to be approved, they replied it can go either way
2024.05.21 17:13 CommanderFuzzy Did anyone else read these? They were my favourite Buffy books even though they were unofficial.
 | In the 90s/00s these were the best resource I had. They've all kinds of dedicated sections such as explaining cultural references (I was from the UK so that was super useful), tracking clothes/quotes/recurring themes/Joyce's methods of denial/trivia/cast/crew/air dates/deleted scenes/allsorts. submitted by CommanderFuzzy to buffy [link] [comments] There were sections on how each ep related to the other eps, along with my favourite section called 'Logic let me introduce you to this window' which is a massive list of all the onscreen-goofs or continuity errors. I used to read it & scan my VHS for teleporting props or stunt double appearances because what else were we meant to do in the 90s. I can't write all the sections as there are too many but it's an incredibly detailed archive/time bubble complete with huge lists of references used at the end, all of the magazine interviews & TV interviews etc. It being unofficial allowed him to say things that would not have been allowed in the other guides at the time too |
2024.05.21 17:12 CandidNullifidian Observations
I am frustrated with my admin this year. I have a combo class and I was loaded qith tons of behavior problems. I expressed that this was not supposed to halogen with a combo class. They BS ed their way around the issue. All year, the behaviors have not been handled by admin. I've tried absolutely everything and I've given up because I don't feel supported by them at all with these behaviors.
On my observations, the give me developing in classroom management and climate. But this pisses me off because what have they actually done to truly help me? Not shit. So I am just ranting on how they have not helped me at all, but yet I'm the one stuck with a shit observations. Make it make sense! I've done absolutely every thing another veteran veteran teachers say they don't know what to do about these kids and their behavior.
submitted by CandidNullifidian to Teachers [link] [comments]
On my observations, the give me developing in classroom management and climate. But this pisses me off because what have they actually done to truly help me? Not shit. So I am just ranting on how they have not helped me at all, but yet I'm the one stuck with a shit observations. Make it make sense! I've done absolutely every thing another veteran veteran teachers say they don't know what to do about these kids and their behavior.
2024.05.21 17:12 Tokenns_time How do I (24F) keep my boyfriend (22M) interested in me?
TLDR: I feel like my boyfriend is losing interest since we don’t go on dates or see each other much anymore.
When my boyfriend and I first started dating we were seeing one another several times a week, going on a date each time or having a date night inside, he would always invite me to events and we would stick together at these events. Lately it seems like he’s tired of me being at the events and pretty much tried to avoid me the whole time even though we always go together. I should mention I NEVER ask him if I can go, he ALWAYS just springs it upon me and tell me that we are going out but he’s stopped doing that. WE HAVE ONLY BEEN TOGETHER FOR 4 months.
During our time together I have gained 10 pounds so I’m not sure if it’s my weight or how I look that’s making him embarrassed? We did go out for ice cream one day and he talked about how pretty the girl who took our order was and proceeded to tel me how weird I look but that I’m “cute” just not like her. While im use to men not finding me attractive or wanting to be seen with me in public because I am fat and not attractive, this was the first time a boyfriend has said this to me but has also called me beautiful and other nice things so I feel really confused. He doesn’t text/call as much anymore and now im Lucky if I get to see him once every 2 weeks.
Before him I was dating someone who worked in a different state and would travel 5hours every weekend just to come see me or surprise me with flowers, dates, and many other things. So now, to be with someone who doesn’t do that and hardly wants to see me makes me feel gross. In the beginning he made me feel so pretty like I forgot that I was even in my body and I was some eternally beautiful thing but now it’s just so different.
I’m not sure what other info to add honestly. He’s the youngest person I’ve ever dated so I am wondering if that might be the issue? We are very compatible and have the same sense of humor and like a lot of the same stuff so I don’t think that’s the issue. I’ve even asked if he noticed that I had gained weight or anything and was surprised that he didn’t bring it up first because typically when I have been in relationships my partners were always pretty good at letting me know when I was getting fat or if I didn’t look good or something and this man just kind of never has any feedback. Idk what to do at this point
submitted by Tokenns_time to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
When my boyfriend and I first started dating we were seeing one another several times a week, going on a date each time or having a date night inside, he would always invite me to events and we would stick together at these events. Lately it seems like he’s tired of me being at the events and pretty much tried to avoid me the whole time even though we always go together. I should mention I NEVER ask him if I can go, he ALWAYS just springs it upon me and tell me that we are going out but he’s stopped doing that. WE HAVE ONLY BEEN TOGETHER FOR 4 months.
During our time together I have gained 10 pounds so I’m not sure if it’s my weight or how I look that’s making him embarrassed? We did go out for ice cream one day and he talked about how pretty the girl who took our order was and proceeded to tel me how weird I look but that I’m “cute” just not like her. While im use to men not finding me attractive or wanting to be seen with me in public because I am fat and not attractive, this was the first time a boyfriend has said this to me but has also called me beautiful and other nice things so I feel really confused. He doesn’t text/call as much anymore and now im Lucky if I get to see him once every 2 weeks.
Before him I was dating someone who worked in a different state and would travel 5hours every weekend just to come see me or surprise me with flowers, dates, and many other things. So now, to be with someone who doesn’t do that and hardly wants to see me makes me feel gross. In the beginning he made me feel so pretty like I forgot that I was even in my body and I was some eternally beautiful thing but now it’s just so different.
I’m not sure what other info to add honestly. He’s the youngest person I’ve ever dated so I am wondering if that might be the issue? We are very compatible and have the same sense of humor and like a lot of the same stuff so I don’t think that’s the issue. I’ve even asked if he noticed that I had gained weight or anything and was surprised that he didn’t bring it up first because typically when I have been in relationships my partners were always pretty good at letting me know when I was getting fat or if I didn’t look good or something and this man just kind of never has any feedback. Idk what to do at this point
2024.05.21 17:12 Alive-Appointment970 Dizziness and vertigo at work?
19f Diagnosed with depression, anxiety, ocd and hypothyroidism (all under control at the moment) Meds: focalin, depakote, ziprasidone, pristiq, (all for depression and ocd) levothyroxine (for thyroid)
I’ve been working for about 3 weeks now at walmart, i work about 20-29 hours a week. my job is pretty easy so far. I mean it involves a lot of standing but the work itself is pretty simple. I am on my feet all day and when im not standing/walking im up and down kneeling to get stuff on the ground.
It really shouldn’t be that physically demanding for someone my age. But 3 or 4 hours into my normally 8 hour shifts (with a meal break after four hours) i start to have terrible brain fog and vertigo. My hips also hurt really bad which doesn’t help. It’s too a point where i can no longer concentrate enough to do my job and am basically useless the second half of the day. My coworkers say i look unwell and are concerned about me. I also move really slowly and am more shaky than normal. I can barely focus enough to fold and hang clothes, and it’s hard for me to notice things that need to be done like a fallen hanger or clothes in the wrong order even when im trying to find something to do. My brain just won’t register even when im trying really hard to concentrate the brain fog is awful and the vertigo persists for a while even after i sit down. I thought that after i got used to the job i would have less issues but it doesn’t seem to be getting any better.
I also say again that the pain in my hip, knees, and legs, is pretty damn bad. Mostly my hips. I think the pain is contributing to the brain fog and lack of concentration.
I don’t have any known blood sugar issues, i take a multivitamin, im trying to drink more water and stay hydrated. Any idea as to why this is happening and if it will stop on it’s own as i get used to work. If not what are the next steps i should take at least before i can see a doctor which may be a while.
submitted by Alive-Appointment970 to AskDocs [link] [comments]
I’ve been working for about 3 weeks now at walmart, i work about 20-29 hours a week. my job is pretty easy so far. I mean it involves a lot of standing but the work itself is pretty simple. I am on my feet all day and when im not standing/walking im up and down kneeling to get stuff on the ground.
It really shouldn’t be that physically demanding for someone my age. But 3 or 4 hours into my normally 8 hour shifts (with a meal break after four hours) i start to have terrible brain fog and vertigo. My hips also hurt really bad which doesn’t help. It’s too a point where i can no longer concentrate enough to do my job and am basically useless the second half of the day. My coworkers say i look unwell and are concerned about me. I also move really slowly and am more shaky than normal. I can barely focus enough to fold and hang clothes, and it’s hard for me to notice things that need to be done like a fallen hanger or clothes in the wrong order even when im trying to find something to do. My brain just won’t register even when im trying really hard to concentrate the brain fog is awful and the vertigo persists for a while even after i sit down. I thought that after i got used to the job i would have less issues but it doesn’t seem to be getting any better.
I also say again that the pain in my hip, knees, and legs, is pretty damn bad. Mostly my hips. I think the pain is contributing to the brain fog and lack of concentration.
I don’t have any known blood sugar issues, i take a multivitamin, im trying to drink more water and stay hydrated. Any idea as to why this is happening and if it will stop on it’s own as i get used to work. If not what are the next steps i should take at least before i can see a doctor which may be a while.
2024.05.21 17:12 Big_Construction3445 Received Extortion Email
 | I received this email the other day in my spam email. Didn't open it till roughly 20 minutes ago as I type this. At first it had me freaking out cause the email it came from was my own but as I did a little more digging I realised it was all bull. 1st.... I don't watch corn.... and second and most importantly.... last time I checked, I don't have a shlong to j off as the email says.... oh and my laptop doesn't even have a camrea to record me off of.... so safe to say... I'll be ignoring and deleting this crap. I've redacted some of the words, most importantly my email as somehow the scammer spoofed it. I'm unsure how they got it. I'm usually really safe online, I don't do much on my laptop/mobile other than watch YouTube, research, and play video games and I'm also usually on incognito mode it's become a habit of mine even when I'm simply searching up... if my local pharmacy is still open. My muscle memory just goes straight to incognito mode. It's the same on my laptop. Maybe internally I think it's safer since it doesn't save anything. Something else I should note. Although it came from my own email... I noticed that it said via Myrank.co.in... I don't know what that is, or how whoever emailed me was able to spoof my email via it. Good thing Gmail was able to detect it as spam.... I never go through my spam folder.... I just happened to do so tonight... also I already reported the bitcoin wallet. I can always reveal it so it can continue to get reports. submitted by Big_Construction3445 to Scams [link] [comments] |
2024.05.21 17:11 BlueEagle127 Non-visible belief
Hi. I'm a Catholic teen with OCD/Scrupulosity, and I've been struggling with my faith, mainly the "I can't see or feel God" thing. I know it's a common sturggle, but then I don't know if I'm actually struggling because I know I'll lose something within my heart if I stop believing. The main thing is, when we pray or ask for something, how do we know it's God and not chance? If someone says, "God, help me finish this work," you have the energy to finish it on your own, and we can't really know it's God, right?
I know this sounds like something a skeptic/atheist would say, but I'm just struggling. I realize that if God appeared before me, I would have no choice to believe because He is physically next to me (one would be crazy not to believe), and that believing without seeing is free will. This video helped with my doubt, but if there's any resource you guys have, I will actually use it instead of being given a fish and not fishing for myself.
submitted by BlueEagle127 to Catholicism [link] [comments]
I know this sounds like something a skeptic/atheist would say, but I'm just struggling. I realize that if God appeared before me, I would have no choice to believe because He is physically next to me (one would be crazy not to believe), and that believing without seeing is free will. This video helped with my doubt, but if there's any resource you guys have, I will actually use it instead of being given a fish and not fishing for myself.
2024.05.21 17:11 miawiisjs Is my 20M boyfriend worth dumping? 22F
I’ve known him for almost 2 years now due to us living together. (I live in my mums house and he rents out the spare room) my mum only comes back twice a month to visit.
At first I thought it was too good to be true, the way he was treating me was amazing. So slow and respectful with things, paying for dates, bringing me gifts, telling me he loves me, and booking a holiday for my birthday.
I had a really bad gut feeling though that he wasn’t over his ex/ it was all too good to be true maybe he was cheating on for me for e.g (not sure why, maybe because he was still following his ex and her mum on Instagram).
Since then my mum says she has noticed a change in his behaviour, that he is not as considerate as he was e.g leaving bits like a ladder and mattress in the hallway and not opening windows and wiping surfaces dry like she asks. She also said that she doesn’t like the way he talks to me.
He makes jokes about my fake hair, about me not working hard in the day and makes jokes about what I do in the day. Also that I wouldn’t understand how expensive things are - like an MOT since I don’t have a car. He says his brother thinks he shouldn’t have to pay rent here anymore and then shortly after kept on saying how he needed help financially. He also makes mean comments about my dog saying his tail is stupid etc. He doesn’t like it when I go to resturants or places with my dad that we were meant to go to together either and makes me feel guilty for it. He says he loves me constantly and I am forced to say it back all the time otherwise he gets upset. He was jealous about my co worker, and doesn’t seem happy for me if I am going to a nice spa day with my mum or have treated myself to a new pair of sunglasses. “And you need another pair of sunglasses?”. He also told me he wouldn’t like it if I made more money than him and that he doesn’t like that I have gifts from my ex
The things that bug me the most at the minute is when he tells me to smile and constantly makes comments on my mood “you seem sad/grumpy.” “Can I see some happiness.” It makes me question if I am sad and grumpy, even when I didn’t think I was. He also doesn’t want s** as much as I do and makes me wait for it which is fine but it makes me feel unattractive to him. When he gets back from work now it also seems like he just wants to spend some time alone laying in bed.
I also worry if he just wants to use me to get on the property ladder since he makes comments about how my mum and dad will definitely help me out with a deposit and that he wants to beat his brother. Yet his parents cannot.
But besides all of this, he is a loving boyfriend I do believe, he texts me all day whilst at work, does compliment me, takes me on dates and trips and I still get the occasional gift, we laugh and he mainly cooks. He is also still paying the rent, drives us, pays for our groceries and dates. He says we need to save next year though for a house meaning less holidays and dinners next year
I have told him I am unable to help as much as I’d like due to currently going through redundancy. I do pay for some of the trips we have planned, do all the house work, gift him and sometimes pay for cafe dates.
Please tell me if I am overreacting? Your thoughts? Maybe it’s all a little intense right now due to us immediately living together and myself being made redundant, my grandad passing and having glandular fever. But this is my first proper relationship and I’m unsure if it’s right.
submitted by miawiisjs to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
At first I thought it was too good to be true, the way he was treating me was amazing. So slow and respectful with things, paying for dates, bringing me gifts, telling me he loves me, and booking a holiday for my birthday.
I had a really bad gut feeling though that he wasn’t over his ex/ it was all too good to be true maybe he was cheating on for me for e.g (not sure why, maybe because he was still following his ex and her mum on Instagram).
Since then my mum says she has noticed a change in his behaviour, that he is not as considerate as he was e.g leaving bits like a ladder and mattress in the hallway and not opening windows and wiping surfaces dry like she asks. She also said that she doesn’t like the way he talks to me.
He makes jokes about my fake hair, about me not working hard in the day and makes jokes about what I do in the day. Also that I wouldn’t understand how expensive things are - like an MOT since I don’t have a car. He says his brother thinks he shouldn’t have to pay rent here anymore and then shortly after kept on saying how he needed help financially. He also makes mean comments about my dog saying his tail is stupid etc. He doesn’t like it when I go to resturants or places with my dad that we were meant to go to together either and makes me feel guilty for it. He says he loves me constantly and I am forced to say it back all the time otherwise he gets upset. He was jealous about my co worker, and doesn’t seem happy for me if I am going to a nice spa day with my mum or have treated myself to a new pair of sunglasses. “And you need another pair of sunglasses?”. He also told me he wouldn’t like it if I made more money than him and that he doesn’t like that I have gifts from my ex
The things that bug me the most at the minute is when he tells me to smile and constantly makes comments on my mood “you seem sad/grumpy.” “Can I see some happiness.” It makes me question if I am sad and grumpy, even when I didn’t think I was. He also doesn’t want s** as much as I do and makes me wait for it which is fine but it makes me feel unattractive to him. When he gets back from work now it also seems like he just wants to spend some time alone laying in bed.
I also worry if he just wants to use me to get on the property ladder since he makes comments about how my mum and dad will definitely help me out with a deposit and that he wants to beat his brother. Yet his parents cannot.
But besides all of this, he is a loving boyfriend I do believe, he texts me all day whilst at work, does compliment me, takes me on dates and trips and I still get the occasional gift, we laugh and he mainly cooks. He is also still paying the rent, drives us, pays for our groceries and dates. He says we need to save next year though for a house meaning less holidays and dinners next year
I have told him I am unable to help as much as I’d like due to currently going through redundancy. I do pay for some of the trips we have planned, do all the house work, gift him and sometimes pay for cafe dates.
Please tell me if I am overreacting? Your thoughts? Maybe it’s all a little intense right now due to us immediately living together and myself being made redundant, my grandad passing and having glandular fever. But this is my first proper relationship and I’m unsure if it’s right.
2024.05.21 17:11 Resident-Frame7367 AITAH for not hanging out with my best friend?
So I (19F) have this friend (19f) and she constantly belittles me, we have known each other since 6th grade and she has been my best friend since but since we have been friends she always comments rude things to me and plays it off as our little (jokes) and it’s not “serious” I try to have actual friend to friend conversation with her and it’s like in every sentence it’s something that has to do with me I take care of myself I think I’m a NORMAL person but it’s like everything I do or say or wear or anything she is commenting on and again plays it off as a jokey joke and it’s getting frustrating and I’m starting to distance myself it’s been this way for years but she’s never been outright mean, she also is a bit over reactive especially when I can’t hangout. We usually hangout every two weeks or so and when I can’t call out from work she gets furious and just leaves me on read like SO mad when it isn’t my fault. I’m starting to dislike hanging out with her but she’s been my friend forever and idk what to do??
submitted by Resident-Frame7367 to AITAH [link] [comments]