Monetization is okay, but do not lock behind a paywall, if you make an audio using this script please post the link or comment as I would love to hear it! The monsterboys are a bluejay demon and a garden snake demon.
Tweaking is fine on all my scripts! Change anything you want as long as long as it is clear it is the same script and credit is given!
Snake has already been a familiar before and speaks with confidence, comes off as overprotective and controlled, until he gets upset.
Bird has not been a familiar before and comes off as overexcited and needy. Tries his best but is new to feeling romantic emotions and does not really know how to handle it.
Both care deeply for their mage and (secretly) for each other, but their ideals and emotions often clash.
I learned that the lines do not show up for some reason so longer pauses in audio will be shown with ~~~~~~~~ from now on and hopefully it shows up.
Part One
[SFX]
("Spoken" noises)
*Tone Changes / Suggestions*
~~~~~~~~ Listener "speaks", longer pause in spoken audio
[Knocking]
SD: *Muffled, through the door* Sweet mage? Are you up yet? We brought breakfast and it is actually pretty good today.
BD: Hey! My cooking is good every day, you always lick your plate clean and ask for more.
SD: (laughing) Hmhmhm... As long as our mage doesn't get sick, I will consider it acceptable...
[Irritated chittering]
~~~~~~~~~
[Door Opens, plate set down]
Both: Good morning, my mage!
~~~~~~~~
SD: Be careful, slowly, here let me help.
BD: Don't just grab them like that, they are still in pain from summoning us a few days ago. Let my mage rest if they need it.
SD: (Sigh, slight hissing) If I have to remind you that they are our mage one more time Birdie...
BD: Same thing, Coils.
~~~~~~~~~~
SD: (Sigh) Yes, our mage is right, it is too early to be fighting like this. And while they do need to rest, they also need food for energy and small movement to keep their body in shape.
BD: A few days of deep rest isn't going to cause their body to shut down completely.
SD: *Slight mocking* So you do not want your mage to eat the food you made? Are you not confident in it?
BD: *Flustered* Of course I am! Cooking is my favorite hobby and I put love and care into every dish!
SD: Especially those you cook for us?
BD: Of course, wait I mean- the meals I cook for our mage, I mean, I guess you eat them too and give me praise for it but-
SD: (laughing) Sorry, teasing you is just way too fun.
~~~~~~~~~~
BD: Hmm? Oh, yes, Ill help you eat, here.
~~~~~~~~~~
SD: I'm glad you're feeling a lot better today. Maybe after eating we can walk around for a bit? Get some fresh air, feel the ground underneath your feet?
BD: Are you kidding me? They can barely stand! Why would they want to-
~~~~~~~~~
BD: Oh, you want to? [Cooing] Well... I guess if that's what you want.
SD: Ha! See? I knew our pretty vine needed some sun. Besides, if they get tired I could always change forms and carry them around.
BD: Why would they choose to be carried by a cold, scaly, snake instead of a warm, soft, bird?
SD: *Offended* Maybe because you take them completely off the ground? They are the Mage of Vines, they need to be connected to the earth, not up in the sky. Go be the familiar to a Mage of Air.
BD: [Angry chittering] What did you just say?
~~~~~~~~~~
SD: (Sigh) You are right love. Sorry, I did not mean to be rude Birdie.
BD: It's fine...
SD: No, it is not. I just... get upset when others imply that I can't feel emotions just because I am a snake... I am cold-blooded but my heart does beat in every way yours does.
BD: *Remorseful* I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to, I'll be careful about not saying that again. I promise.
SD: Thank- (voice crack, throat clearing) Thank you.
~~~~~~~~~
BD: Oh you're done eating? Can you take these to the kitchen? We can clean up after our walk.
SD: Sure, and if it is all the same to you, I will clean up. The last time you tried to help half the spoons went missing and I had to dig them out from under the couch.
BD: *Embarrassed* I don't have a space for my nest yet and they were shiny...
[Snake leaves] [Dishes being put in sink]
BD: *whispering* I'm really going to have to make it up to him, I just- I never thought I would be tied to another demon along with a mage, it's all new to me.
~~~~~~~~
BD: I know he will forgive me but I don't want to make either of you feel bad, especially if it's a huge insecurity. I just didn't know, but I do now and I'll be better about it, I swear.
[Snake comes back]
SD: Are you both ready?
BD: Yes. Love, are you okay to stand on your own or do you want to be carried?
~~~~~~~~
BD: You want to be carried? Okay. Hey Coils, you said you wanted to carry our mage? Go ahead.
SD: *Excited* Really? Thank you! Hold on, let me just...[Magic sounds] That feels so much better. I know my first human form is better for moving around the house but I admit I like my second form the best. I can stretch my snake half but still speak.
BD: Nagas really are the best of both worlds. I feel the same about my second form, still able to walk and talk but I have my wings so I can fly.
SD: It is kind of annoying that we get more animalistic as we go down our forms though.
BD: Definitely, I get our full animal forms are better for unleashing our power and for resting if we are hurt but still...
~~~~~~~~~~
SD: Oh right, sorry pretty vine, Birdie, place them on my back.
BD: Okay, try to be still.
~~~~~~~~~~
SD: Hmm? No, you are not too heavy. This actually feels really nice, you've been in bed under the covers for days, so nice and warm...
BD: [Cooing] Okay, lets go, if you get tired, we will come straight back inside.
[Door opens, forest sounds]
SD: (Happy sigh, slight hissing) The sun feels amazing. I am so glad it's been a warm spring so far.
BD: [Magic sounds] I agree. Either of you mind if I stretch my wings a bit?
SD: Not at all.
~~~~~~~~~~
SD: You want to stand up and walk around Mage? Are you sure? Okay, but be careful.
[Sounds of vines growing]
BD: *Panic* What are you doing love? Your magic hasn't fully recovered!
~~~~~~~~~~
SD: *Hesitant* You want to...see what your new powers are? That's...fair. But please do not push yourself. What exactly could you do before?
~~~~~~~~
BD: Oh, all you could do was grow small vines around your feet? Hmmm, go ahead. I'm excited to see what you can do now.
[Ground cracking, lots of vines growing]
BD: *In awe* Great foliage! Those vines are almost as tall as the house, with thorns too!
SD: *Encouraging* What else? Push more magic into it, sweet mage.
[Popping noises, vines swishing]
BD: *Excited* Grapes! And blackberries!
[Noises stop]
SD: Oh no, Birdie catch our mage!
BD: Ah! I got them! Carefully, lay down.
SD: (laughs) So, your vines are a lot bigger and stronger now.
BD: [Eating] And you can grow fruit from them too! I wonder if it's just grapes and blackberries...
SD: Hmmm... probably not but growing fruit most likely uses more magic than growing vines since it is a new facet of their power. I would not be surprised if they can grow most things that grow on vines. But we can find that out later. My main concern right now is the huge tangle of vines that seem to be attached to our house after that show.
BD: *Dazed* Yeah.. it's a real jumble...dark...and quiet...
SD: Uh, Birdie? Are you okay?
BD: [Walking into the vines, still dazed] A nest... a safe place for my mates. Warm and protective... I'll make it soft and pretty...impressive...they'll love it and praise me...
SD: [Grabbing Bird from the vines] Sssssnap out of it!
BD: *Still out of it* We can cuddle once I make one...all of us...I promise not to take anything from the house...
SD: Oookkkaayy we are going back inside now. [Fast slithering] [Door closes]
BD: *Waking up* Ugh, what? Why are we inside?
SD: I think seeing the vines next to our house triggered your nesting instinct. I brought us inside so you could not see it.
BD: *Embarssed* Oh! Thanks... it's been a bit difficult not having my own space, I mean I like being with you two but-
SD: I get it, I've been feeling the same way without a den. But with that addition to the house I think that problem has just been solved. Well, maybe if our mage can make another one on the opposite side.
BD: That's a great idea! You can make a den in one and I can make a nest in the other!
SD: *Teasing* For your mates? Both of us?
BD: (Humming, flustered) Yes....
SD: (Sighs) Let's get our mage back in bed, you were right, they were not ready to use magic just yet.
BD: The walk did feel nice though, I hope...we aren't the cause of our mage being so weak.
SD: Their body is not used to the amount of magic in their soul. It was unlocked because of us but the potential was always there. We just need to provide care while they get used to it.
BD: We can do that. Lay them back on the bed, and then we can start cleaning the house. The faster we get done with the chores, the faster we can come cuddle.
SD: And when our mage wakes up we can discuss our plans for our own spaces... now come on, I will finish the dishes if you sweep up.
[Leaving the room, voices fading slowly]
BD: Why do I always have to sweep?
SD: *Teasing* Because the broom is made from your own feathers and not shiny.
BD: *Playfully offended* I already apologized for the spoons!

I really am taking you with me on this...
Seems I'm 2 months into beginning my second try with Keto for Bipolar 2.
And maybe 3 weeks since I rose from my bed ridden, non-showering, withdrawn, suicidal, depression.
I'm functioning now.
I really want to step things up more and I'd welcome your insights please?
Eating
I'm tending to start the day with a filter coffee and non-dairy milk.
I'm not really hungry so not tending to eating till 1ish and am mostly eating a steak (sirloin, rump, flat iron or minute) and veg (broccoli, runner beans, kale or spinach), half an avocado and then I pour the animal fat from the steak over the veg and add salt and pepper
I'm not eating another proper meal, as such, but I do snack.
Snacks are unsalted nuts, mashed up boiled eggs with olive oil, celery sticks or yogurt (milk or coconut) and berries (strawberry's, raspberry's, blackberry's and blueberry's). I sometimes also trade the yogurt for double cream or clotted cream.
I'm having a coffee quite a few times throughout the day and drinking sparkling water.
I also have MCT oil regularly throughout the day.
Exercise
I'm doing a gentle flat walk nearly every day.
Ranging from 30mins, to 1 hour to the odd 2 hour walk.
Sleep
Sleep is much better, I'm going to bed at 10ish (probably falling asleep at 11pm) at waking naturally just before 8ish.
Bloods
Average 28 days for Glucose is 4.8mmol/L and Ketones is 2.2mmol/L
Highest Ketone has been 3.7 (quite a few times)
Emotions
I'm still feeling suicidal ideation from time to time, I'm still comparing myself unfavourably to others and suffering with envy, I'm still feeling overwhelmed and paralysed about how to climb out of this hole. I could go on...
Next steps
As you can see from above I'm doing so much better than I was. But I want/need more.
I'm thinking of asking the butchers for fats cuts from other meats?
I think I need to drop blueberry's?
I think I need to reduce my coffee?
I think I should do some cardio (maybe begin with 7 minutes on the bike, 7 on the step machine and 7 on the row machine and slowly increase it?)
Open to Suggestions
I'm looking for suggestions please?
The smallest amount of effort for the biggest shift (I'm still quite fragile) is welcome.
Thanks in advance, I do value your input and experience.

Sorry for the novel on appropriate conduct between minors and adults.
I remember a couple months ago listening to Mutahar talk to someone (maybe turkey tom) about tickle gate situation with the minecraft streamer and the "freshly 18" girl who 6 months later decided to accuse the guy of sexual assault for him tickling her. They were talking about whether or not he knew she was her age or not because she may have had a 21+ wrist band. Something he said made a lot of sense that as a public figure he would never even be in the same room as a minor drinking, even if it was someone like turkey tom, because as a public figure, even an unsubstantiated allegation of any misconduct could have huge ramifications. Protect your career at all times, because as a public figure there are many risks that come along with that.
As a jr camp counselor at this jewish summer camp I went to (I know, shocker, a dgger jewlumni) when I was 15 I remember being told I could never be in the same as one of the campers EVER. This was not just because they wanted to protect the kids but also to protect the camp itself and us as the counselors. I believe teachers follow the same rules. Nothing can go wrong if you aren't in a situation that could wrong to begin with. As we know with the ticklegate situation, even "freshly" 18 year olds can interpret things much differently. A thing Drake said or did in good faith could suddenly come back to haunt him. We are dealing with emotionally undeveloped brains here.
A 14 year old could say something that gets interpreted incorrectly, face pressure from parents or peers to say something, or just want money. These are all the things that could wrong when the adult is NOT acting inappropriately. When you add the things that could wrong when they DO, then it makes sense why so many people think it is inappropriate. Intent doesn't matter here because when it's two people it will always be a he said/she said. Therefore, it will be up to people to decide themselves. But one thing they will ALWAYS assign blame to is it will always come down to the adult knowing they should have avoided being in that situation to begin with , guilty or not.
Drake is very lucky all these girls he texted as kids are defending him, but as we can see even with that he is facing scrutiny. Imagine if one had claimed he did something highly inappropriate. Even if they were lying he would be toast. Being in these situations is extremely risky and reckless. Not to mention there is power dynamic at play, someone they look up to. It would be very easy to disprove grooming allegations if you never texted the person to begin with. Why is drake willing to put himself in these irresponsible situations over and over again? Optics really is everything, too many points on a graph and it creates a line, and now kendrick is using that line publicly hang him with. You reap what you sow, and these blackberries arent as juicy and sweet as kendricks... (ok that was corny and weirdly erotic, ill leave the song title references to kdot and drizzy, I couldnt help myself)
So when I say Drake is irresponsible and inappropriate in texting these minors, him being a public figure only makes it more so, and this is all while still giving him the benefit of the doubt on not being a groomer or worse. However, if this is the best interpretation, now lets realize most people don't operate under the best interpretation, and he should know that before doing these things. He could have avoided ALL of this by applying the same logic teachers and counselors do and trying to avoid 1 on 1 interactions with minors alone or in private conversations as much as possible.
Sorry Destiny, you don't get the luxury of not caring what people think of you in these situations when you are a public figure, because optics can kill your career, but intentions won't save it.
Edit: I’m not saying anyone’s a pedo, just that it’s irresponsible to text minors as a public figure about these situations. I would never be in the hypothetical situation destiny mentioned about a 14 girl asking me if she can get pregnant having sex with boyfriend in a hot tub. If they feel that comfortable texting that I believe boundaries were already crossed. Also none of you guys are public figures. No one read anything I wrote and are strawmanning the fuck out this. I don't think drake is a pedo and that is not my point to why he is wrong, its in the title guys...

My harvest hymn — with added Chinese chemicals
By Jeremy Clarkson (The Sunday Times, April 28)
Many of us will remember that Mungo Jerry song featuring the line, “Have a drink, have a drive. Go out and see what you can find.” And of course we all realise you can’t even think that any more. And nor, really, is it considered acceptable to follow up with: “If her daddy’s rich, take her out for a meal. If her daddy’s poor, just do what you feel.” Times have moved on.
Of course lots of lyrics now feel as if they’re from another aeon. "Clair" by Gilbert O’Sullivan especially. But you might think it’s impossible for the lyrics in a harvest festival hymn to become out of date. “We plough the fields and scatter. The good seed on the land. But it is fed and watered by God’s almighty hand.” Absolute timelessness. It was true ten thousand years ago and it’s true now.
No, it isn’t. God doesn’t water the land any more. The coal-fired Chinese power stations do that. And he doesn’t feed it either. That’s handled by CF Industries, which makes all the chemical fertiliser that farmers use on their fields.
We don’t even scatter seeds any more, because that’s wasteful onanism. We drill them into the ground, at precise intervals and at a precise depth using a computer-controlled, £40,000 seed drill. That’s towed behind a £250,000 Case tractor, which was built in the factory where they used to make Tiger tanks. Not much Goddishness going on in any of that.
There isn’t even any ploughing any more. In the olden days farmers would turn the top layer of soil over using a plough so that the weeds were buried. And because they were deprived of sunlight they died. It was a lovely, natural, rosy-cheeked way of creating the perfect seedbed for the following year’s crop.
But then along came Little Miss Thunberg and her merry band of Packhamites, who decided that 1,500 billion tonnes of carbon is stored in the planet’s soil. And that if you turn this soil over with a plough, all of it will be released into the upper atmosphere in the form of carbon dioxide. Which is bad. So the lovely, natural method of killing weeds had to stop. And instead farmers had to use chemical sorcery from Monsanto, BASF and the Zhejiang Xinan Chemical Industrial Group.
Farmers didn’t mind, if I’m honest, because ploughing is extremely expensive. You simply would not believe how much diesel is needed to drag a two-tonne land anchor through a muddy field. Using weedkiller instead is much cheaper.
Or rather it was. But weedkiller prices have gone up dramatically in recent years. And from where I’m sitting it doesn’t really seem to work any more. Every year Kaleb goes into the fields like a rural Terminator, hosing down the weeds with his ungodly chemical sorcery and then, a few weeks later, Cheerful Charlie walks me through the same fields, pointing out the brome and the black-grass, which is easy to spot because it’s purple and green and completely immune to anything the world’s chemists can throw at it.
So this year Charlie said we should become medieval and plough the fields instead. Selfish? Well, yes, this will shoot a tonne of CO2 into the troposphere and that’s obviously bad. And I’ll use four times more diesel than I would if I used weedkiller. So that’s not good for the environment either. But here’s the kicker: I wouldn’t be pumping any chemicals into the soil.
So that’s the choice — soil or sky? You have to hurt one of them if you want to eat. I went for the sky and rented a plough.
I settled on an eight-furrow monster for two good reasons. Number one: the bigger the plough, the faster you get the job done. And number two: none of Kaleb’s tractors would be powerful enough to pull it, so we’d have to use my 270bhp Lamborghini. Which would annoy him. Even admitting that it’s better than his tractors gives him a hot flush. Sometimes he vibrates with fury when he goes near it.
The only drawback to this cleverly wrought large plough plan was that, because Kaleb refuses to drive my tractor, I’d have to do the ploughing.
This is something I’ve done before. It was on Top Gear about 200 years ago and I did very well. Partly this was because my competitors in the ploughing competition were James May and Richard Hammond. And partly because one of the two judges was a really good friend of my mum.
In real life, though, things were different. I couldn’t hitch the plough to the tractor without help. I couldn’t do a three-point turn when it was attached. And I couldn’t make the tractor move when the furrows were in the sodden soil. All four wheels just sort of spun. So I had to lift the plough slightly, which meant I wasn’t ploughing. Or wiggle the steering wheel, which made big holes and, when it worked, caused me to set off in a new direction. It began to look as if a drunk, blind man with no arms was doing the ploughing.
All the time I was watching the fuel gauge plummet like the depth gauge in a holed submarine, and wondering if it might be cheaper, easier and kinder to the environment to use chemical weedkiller instead.
This is farming. Only last week I discovered that approximately 18 billion slugs have come to live in the fields where I’ve planted spring barley. If I adopt a live-and-let-live rewilding attitude and do nothing they will eat the lot and, next year, there will be no Hawkstone lager. As that makes no sense, I therefore have to pepper the field with slug pellets, which will kill them. Great. But these pellets will also kill all the worms. So what’s the answer? There isn’t one.
Similarly, I have signed up to the government’s eco-friendly grant scheme and will be planting things that aren’t food in three fields. They’re good for the soil and they’re good for my bank balance. But it means I’m not growing stuff people can eat. I know one chap who has taken 60 per cent of his farm out of food production and he’s not alone. So yippee. All that stored carbon and all of that fixed-in nitrogen.
But what if you want some bread? You’ll have to get a loaf made from wheat that was grown abroad. And how’s that good for global warming? And will it have been grown under the same stringent rules that we have here? Or will it have been fertilised with human faeces? You face a choice then. Do you want net zero in the UK? Or do you want to eat a Mexican’s turd?
Do you want lager or worms? Do you want healthy soil or a healthy sky? Do you want bees or orangutans? These are the questions I’m facing every single day. It’s a multiple-choice world of no right answers.
Which brings us back to another harvest festival hymn.
All things bright and beautiful. All birds that must be plucked. No matter what we choose to do, we’re well and truly.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Kaleb Cooper: ‘I’ve taught someone triple my age to do a better job’
The Diddly Squat farmers Jeremy Clarkson and Kaleb Cooper are back for a third series. We put our wellies on to meet the odd couple of the Cotswolds
By Ben Dowell (The Times, April 29)
During filming for the forthcoming third series of Clarkson’s Farm, Kaleb Cooper drove into work and saw Jeremy Clarkson vacuuming a blackberry bush. While the spectacle was “something I am never going to forget”, the sandy-haired, cherub-faced youngster was so unimpressed that he didn’t even get out of his car to ask what was happening.
These two have grown into one of television’s best double acts. For the show’s executive producer, Peter Fincham, there is an “element of Jeeves and Wooster” about them, a delicious odd couple relationship that is all the more gratifying because the team didn’t need to cast Cooper. He was already working on Diddly Squat Farm when the show started.
Cooper is a farmer to the tips of his muddy wellies and has taught Clarkson most of the practical business of farming his 1,000-acre establishment near Chipping Norton in Oxfordshire, as well as how hard the job is and the risks farmers take for little financial reward. Cooper may have just completed a sell-out national stage tour building on his popularity and more than two million Instagram followers. He may have been invited to No 10 to meet Rishi Sunak (more on that later), but everyone on the show — the producers, one of Cooper’s “Chippy” friends I spoke to and Clarkson himself — are clear: the 25-year-old hasn’t changed one iota since the show started airing in 2021.
“I think it’s very easy to be grounded if you don’t leave Chipping Norton,” Clarkson says. His girlfriend, Lisa Hogan, who has become another star of the show, agrees. “How Kaleb comes across is exactly how he is. He is very thoughtful and kind and very bright. His use of language is also very easy on the ear. We could have had a monosyllabic tractor driver and that wouldn’t have worked but we were lucky we had Kaleb.”
He has written two books as well: The World According to Kaleb and Britain According to Kaleb, with a third (Life According to Kaleb) on the way. These ruminations are often spoken into a Dictaphone (supplied by his publishers) during the 18 hours he spends each day alone in his happy place, his tractor cab. The books now sit on the shelves that a ten-year-old Cooper and his carpenter father put up in the local bookshop. Though, of course, one of the running jokes in the show is that he has only read one other book in his life apart from his own, and that was one of Clarkson’s.
There is another moment in the new series when Clarkson and Cooper (who are in competition with each other across the eight episodes) are working a field when they spy someone in the distance on another tractor drilling “his” field. He is Andy Cato of the electronic pop duo Groove Armada, and Cooper seems totally nonplussed, not least because he doesn’t know who or what Groove Armada is. The same probably goes for many of his near-neighbours, who include Joe Wicks, Simon Cowell, Natalie Imbruglia, David Beckham and Amanda Holden. When Cooper bumped into David Cameron (now Lord Cameron of Chipping Norton) in a local eaterie, he wasn’t quite sure who he was either. Strangely Cooper is now as famous as at least a few of these people. His appeal extends across the globe — Andy Wilman, Clarkson’s old Top Gear producer who edits the show, tells me that he rarely hears an English accent in the farm shop as tourists flock to see their agricultural idols.
Since Clarkson’s Farm aired, Cooper told his theatre audiences, he has been offered snazzy haircuts from top-level salons, perhaps to stop the constant mickey-taking from Clarkson. But he still goes to the same local hairdresser.
Brilliant moments are not always captured by the cameras and while the team may wake up with plans, farmers and the show’s fans will know that the weather often has other ideas. “Cheerful” Charlie Ireland, the farm’s land agent and adviser, does pop by a couple of times a day, as he does in the series, often to pour cold water on Clarkson’s latest schemes. But many of these moments are not filmed. Is that annoying?
“Sometimes you think, ‘Oh, that would be really good, that’d be funny on TV,’ but actually [the cameras] are not there,” Cooper says. “But you don’t say these things, to make it up for the TV. I may have taken drama in school, but I got a U in it, so actually I’m not an actor.”
Clarkson agrees: “It is [effortless] because I don’t have to pretend to be someone else. With The Grand Tour, Richard Hammond isn’t as stupid as he’s made out. I’m not as bombastic as is made out and James May isn’t quite as boring as he’s made out. And so you’re playing a caricature, you’re playing a role, you’re there to provoke and be stupid. Here, we haven’t got any of that. So we’re just ourselves. You get up and you just have to be yourself, which is incredibly relaxing. And in that regard it is effortless. Farming is not effortless. Make no mistake, the television side of it is a piece of cake because I don’t have to think, ‘Oh I’d better say something idiotic now.’”
“You do that anyway,” Cooper says.
The two bicker in exactly the same way off camera as they do on. At the press conference for the new series they quarrelled with good humour about their dogs. Cooper says Clarkson’s pair of fox-red labradors (named Sansa and Arya after Game of Thrones characters) are “posh man’s dogs” who “never do a thing he says”. Clarkson maintains that Cooper just locks his dog in his tractor cab. They also bicker about the goats Clarkson keeps. Clarkson likes their eyes and thinks they do a good job mowing his grass. Cooper thinks he should breed and slaughter them in the conventional way and sell goat meat in the farm shop.
There is a similar clash of approaches over the pigs. Cooper doesn’t get as emotional as Clarkson and Hogan when things go wrong (and they do go wrong with the pigs this series). When Clarkson holds aloft a newborn piglet, Cooper calls him a “proud parent”, which feels part mickey-take, part genuinely warm compliment — a common theme in their complex relationship.
Clarkson is learning to be more steely and is, Cooper says, actually now a “good pig farmer”. Is the younger man pleased that Clarkson has come on? Or is there a bit of him who would still enjoy showing him the ropes?
“I think there’s a bit of a proudness of teaching someone maybe triple my age … to go out and do a better job … Hopefully I’ve taught him a lot about it. But he’s taught me so much equally about the television industry.” In fact, Cooper says, he has learnt so much that he cannot watch TV now because he knows how it all works behind the scenes.
He is a voice for farmers, showing us how hard the job of people who put food on our table is, and demanding that we respect it. Cooper has arranged two bursaries of £3,000 plus a work placement for young farmers and is keen that more enter a profession where the average age is 59. When he met Sunak last May he was more interested in the PM’s hair than anything, principally because he didn’t expect much from him.
“Let’s put it this way. If someone invited me tomorrow to go to a farm … if I go to that farm and that farmer says to me, ‘Kaleb, you know what, this week I’m gonna plough that field,’ I know for a damn fact that that farmer is going to go out there and plough that field because he said he’s going do it. If the prime minister or anyone from politics goes to me, ‘Kaleb, I’m going to do this next week,’ they’re not going to do it, are they?”
While he doesn’t have much faith in our legislators making life easier for hard-pressed farmers or for supermarkets to pay them more, he must be pleased that people, especially city folk, now know about farming thanks to him, I say.
“Yeah, everyone knows what a tramline is now, right? And let’s face it, I always say this: it doesn’t matter what phone you’ve got, what car you’ve got, what house you’re living in, what matters the very most is what’s coming across your plate for breakfast, lunch and dinner. And therefore that is the most important thing to me.”
Cooper is open to offers of shows such as I’m a Celebrity … Get Me Out of Here! but thinks he probably won’t have the time with all the work he has to do. Clarkson called him “easily the most entrepreneurial person I have ever met” and he is laser-focused on his ultimate goal of having a farm one day, which will have to be local, despite the “extortionate” price of land in the area.
“I want to farm here,” he says. “I don’t want to move away from my family and everything I know. This is where I was brought up and this is where I’m going to stay.”
But the show will be with us for a while. It is hugely popular — series four is being filmed and while viewing figures aren’t available, it is believed to be Prime’s most popular programme in the UK by, well, a country mile.
Cooper is engaged to his partner, Taya (mother to their three-year-old son and ten-month-old daughter), but doesn’t know when he will have time to walk down the aisle. He knows he will “have a great party”, and isn’t yet sure if Clarkson will be his best man. But one thing’s for sure, Clarkson has already found his.
The new series of Clarkson’s Farm is on Prime Video from May 3.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
No Sun column this week, but the Guardian (!) has published a long interview with Clarkson: "'Dismissing global warming? That was a joke': Jeremy Clarkson on fury, farming and why he’s a changed man". Let me know if you have problems viewing it.
Clarkson's columns are regularly collected as books. You can buy them from his boss or your local bookshop.

Hi everyone!! I'm destashing a few things, FS and Samples!! If you have any questions, please feel free to ask!! My set shipping day is Saturday. However, if I'm able to ship it out sooner, I'll let you know! 😊😊😊
Luna's Aroma Delights
FULL SIZES!
BLACK BACCARA/AMORPHOUS PERFUME
FIRESIDE STORIES : Aroma palette is a woody gourmand. Highlights include burning fireplace embers, cedar trees, warm butterscotch, pipe tobacco, and warm amber.
SAMPLES!
ANDROMEDA'S CURSE
POETRY RIBBON : Saffron, Plum Blossom, White Tea, Amberwood, Vegan Ambergris.
BLACK PHOENIX ALCHEMY LAB (BPAL)
BUGBEAR DOULA : A nurturing blend of motherwort, angelica root, and warm russet fur splashed with chamomile tea.
LADY MACBETH : The essence of ambition, covetousness and manipulation: Sweet Bordeaux Wine, blood red currant, thyme and wild berries.
MAIDEN : A gentle vision of purity, goodness and virtue: white tea, carnation and Damask Rose.
SUGAR PLUM SNOW WHITE : Sugar version of BPAL's Snow White. No official notes were listed for Sugar Plum Snow White, but here are the notes for Snow White: A chilly, bright perfume: flurries of virgin snow, crisp winter wind and the faintest breath of night-blooming flowers.
COCOAPINK
AUTUMN HAY RIDE : The brisk autumn air whips through your locks while crimson, orange and yellow leaves dance through the wind amid the perfect aroma of sweet pumpkin flesh, white peaches, and golden hay bales glowing in the afternoon sun with just a pinch of clary sage.
HOLIDAY LIGHTS : The exotic blend of luscious pomegranate sorbet and delicious vanilla custard swirled together and topped with sugared plums.
PLUMS AND CUSTARD : Rich egg custard folded with warm milk, glazed with caramelized sugar, and studded with sugared plums and strawberries; all served on a platter of musky Mysore sandalwood. (PENDING)
RASPBERRY : As Notes Described.
DEATH & FLORAL
THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE BECOME GHOSTS INSIDE YOU : Heavenly musk, lingering funeral flowers, cold scent of vanilla in an empty corridor, handprints on a foggy window (Notice: ‘The people you love become ghosts inside you‘ is a heavy atmospheric that has been reported to cause feelings of intense emotion and is sometimes unpleasant in its vulnerability. Not for the faint-hearted!).
HEXENNACHT/MR. HEX
DTF : Deep Plum, Clary Sage, Anise, Firewood.
HECATE : Thorn-Riddled Blackberry Brambles, Cabernet Sauvignon, Sagebrush, Dark Patchouli.
RASPBERRY ROSEMALLOW : Marshmallow, Buttercream, Raspberry-Rose Compote.
NOCTURNE ALCHEMY (NA OR NAVA)
BLACK CURRANT MUSK : French Black Currant Absolute, Black Currant skin, California Green Currant leaf, Bastet’s Amber and soft white floral blend of Tuberose, Mallow, Angelica, Musk Flower, and White Lily all blended beautifully into Bastet's Musk base.
BLUEBERRY MUSK : Bastet’s Musk absolute (Tuberose, Mallow, Angelica, Musk Flower, and White Lily), Blueberry essence, Snow Blueberry accord, Bastet’s Amber absolute, eNVie saphir absolute, and Blueberry Mallow essence accord.
PASSION FRUIT MUSK : Australian Passiflora herbertiana, Passion Fruit seed extract (Golden Passion Fruit), Passionflower, Mango Skin, Tart Passion Fruit seeds, Guava Skin, Bastet Amber-infused Purple Passion Fruit seed, and soft white floral blend of Tuberose, Mallow, Angelica, Musk Flower, and White Lily all blended beautifully into Bastet's Musk base.
PLUM MUSK : Plum skin, Plum Flowers distilled, Plum Seed oil, Raspberry, Cranberry, Strawberry essence accord, Vanilla, Honey, Osmanthus Flower Absolute, Bastet’s Amber, White Skin Musk and soft white floral blend of Tuberose, Mallow, Angelica, Musk Flower, and White Lily all blended beautifully into Bastet's Musk base.
RASPBERRY MUSK : Bastet’s Musk absolute (Tuberose, Mallow, Angelica, Musk Flower, and White Lily), Wild Transylvanian Raspberry accord, Raspberry skin accord, Crystalline (Studio Limited Vanilla) absolute, Bastet’s Amber absolute, eNVie saphir, Bastet’s Ice Cream Essence.
ZODIAC: PISCES : Salted Peach Skin accord, Peach essence, Ocean Salt, Ocean Sage, Ocean Moss accords, and eNVie saphir.
NUI COBALT
EQUINOPHILIA : Toasted oats, green and golden hay, living cedar, deep auburn musk, chestnuts, corn silk, saddle leather, and galbanum.
POESIE
HABIBI : Ambery resins blend with deep vanilla notes and a swoon-worthy honey spiked with spices. Combined with the beloved essence of henna flower and fragrant sandalwood, an amber for the ages.
ROSALIND FRANKLIN : Red wine with notes of berries, chocolate, spice, and vanilla, accented with sandalwood and oud.
SCHOLOMANCE : Ancient castle walls under a forest floor, dragon’s blood incense, a wicked blend of green herbs and rich spices.
STONE & WIT
BLACKBERRY HEARTWOOD : Blackberry Accord, Sandalwood Accord.
FRITH : Blueberry, Dandelion Greens, Sage, Witch Hazel, Vetiver.
TURYIN : Pomegranate, Plum Wine, Sandalwood, Gunpowder.
STRANGE FIRE & FUMERY
LILACS AND GOOSEBERRIES : As Notes Described.
THE LITTLE BOOK EATER
AMELIE POULAIN : Sugar Plum, Strawberries, & Buttercream.
Luna's Aroma Delights

Title: Mage Protector

Please see this for any questions as to monetization or the like.
An Introduction To The Book That Is Me : ASMRScriptHaven (reddit.com)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Slight huffing as if someone is hurrying but still trying to remain as silent as possible. Maybe some sounds of sticks breaking or leaves rustling. Then a wooden door opens and closes and is locked. Annika has a slight strain in her voice as if she’s concentrating on holding her spell in place.)
Annika: There. I think we’re safe for the time being, my love. Yes, I’m sure of it. I haven’t felt the presence of anybody nearby for a few miles now.
Darling, let me place you down gently on the bed. There you go. Nobody should disturb us while we rest for a minute. This old hunter’s cabin has been unused for a few months now, and I don’t think anybody at the castle has realized that you’re missing yet. Now, my prince, I can release the levitation spell I’ve been using to carry you here.
(Annika levitates the prince she’s been carrying to the bed and releases her spell. Huge sigh of relief as if she has just let go of a heavy burden. Then, as she speaks for a short while, she is breathing heavily as she’s trying to relax from the exertion.)
Oh,… (Deep sigh or exhalation.) ...finally. I wasn’t sure… if I was going to make it this far… before I had to set you down. But I did, and we’re here now. Darling, I did it.
(Smiling with joy.) I did it. I did it. I got you out of there, and now you’re mine, and I’m yours.
(Laughs.) I thought this day would never come, but it has. At last, we’re here together, my love, without the constraints of the castle, of royal life, of anything. It’s just you and me forever, free from the imminent darkness that was about to take you.
(Pause. More regular breathing now.)
Yes, yes dear, I see you frantically trying to break free from your ropes, but please be still. I wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself. And if you will be still, I will explain.
I know you must have many questions, and I know that with the gag in place you can’t ask them yet, but I will try to answer everything I know you must desire to ask. Ok? Will you trust me for now? Please?
(Near giddy. Grabs the prince in a warm embrace.) Thank you, my love. Thank you for being calm. I knew you’d trust me. I can’t keep from embracing you. Oh, I have waited to do this for so long. I could hold you in my arms forever.
(Annika regains her composure and moves back at arm’s length from the prince.)
I’m sorry, my love. I couldn’t help myself.
(Talking to herself.) Annika, we’ll have plenty of time later for that. But now,…
(Deep breath, then talking to the prince.) Answers. Yes, answers. You need an explanation. You deserve an explanation. Ooooooh, one more embrace.
(Annika bursts forward to hold prince one more time, then backs away again regaining her composure a second time.)
(Again talking to herself, but not so the prince can’t hear it.) Ok, stop, Annika. You promised answers, and while you regain your strength, now’s the time to provide them.
(To the prince.) My love, forgive me for not untying you right now, but I really want to say what’s on my heart without any interruptions, so for the moment I’m going to leave you that way.
You know I’m not going to hurt you, my love, and the ties will come off shortly. Ok?
(Pause.)
Thank you for your understanding nod, my love…
Wait. I should ask. Is it ok that I call you that? “My love,” I mean. Because that’s what you truly are: my love. But I do realize that we’ve never actually said that before. But you know, don’t you? You’ve always known that I love you. I know I’ve never been brave enough to say it, but… well… I so hoped that you always knew.
(Happily remembering.) I don’t even remember meeting you since we’ve grown up together. You, Prince Talon, and me, the up-and-coming mage, Annika. We’ve simply always been in each other’s lives. And, in fact, we were both born on the same day as if destiny connected us from the beginning.
But I tell you true that from the very first moment that I had a conscious thought, my thoughts towards you were always thoughts of love. Yes, it was a child’s love originally. You were always my best friend. The one person I looked forward to being with every day.
We would play together in the courtyard. You were the brave knight and I was your powerful mage ally fighting dragons and rescuing villagers from evildoers. At that time, you fought shadows with a stick and all I could manage was a few sparks from my fingertips, but we were certain we could conquer the world.
Or we would sneak into the kitchen and abscond with our favorite blackberry tarts from the royal baker. If the baker caught us, he would speak harshly to us for the others to hear, but then he would wink and nod for us to run off with our ill-gotten goods. (Giggles.) That was always so fun. I wanted to do that every day, but you would caution me against excess.
And down by the pond, we would examine the grasses, and the flowers, and the frogs. You thought it was adorable that I liked to hold them in my hands unlike the other maidens in the castle. (Fawning.) And I thought that you were adorable when you would call me adorable.
(Changing from happy to an adoring tone.)
As we grew older, and we each began to… mature. My love for you also matured. It became less childlike and more… well, I guess, mature.
You began to grow into a handsome, dashing young man. And as I grew into a young lady… well, my love, many is the time when I caught you stealing glances, dare I say, romantically. (Smiles.) I have always known that you fancy me, prince, but your blush right now is wonderful confirmation.
But you do need to know that as attractive as you are on the outside, your heart, your spirit, your purity remained equally so. As we grew, you never lost your childlike wonder for the world around you as well as your love for others. And seeing that… and loving that, I strove to remain pure of heart. For you. It was always for you. And it always will be.
You began your training as a knight and I as a mage. We received constant praise from each of our masters. You and I never needed to be scolded, because we never acted out, never gave anything but our best. The reason I poured everything I had into everything I did was to be worthy of you, my love. I’d like to think that that’s why you excelled in all that you did as well. That you wanted to be worthy of me.
(Annika becomes more somber, and a little bit sad.)
As we grew, the more my love for you grew, and the more I hoped your love for me was growing.
We have always been inseparable and yet rarely alone. But in those moments alone, I hoped, feverishly hoped, desperately hoped, that out of nowhere you would profess your undying love for me.
Yet, you never did. You always had words of encouragement and kindness. Never an evil word of bitterness fled from your sweet lips in my direction. And you did indeed share words of love, but only that love you might expect for a sister or a friend, never for… a lover.
I so cherished every moment with you, and yet I found myself in a deeper despair after every encounter in which you failed to profess your love for me. I couldn’t figure out what flaw of mine kept you away.
To be fair, I never professed such love for you either. I was frightened. I was terrified that whatever flaw you saw in me would cause you to reject my confession of love, and if the rejection I feared was solidified by your words in that way, I would not have been able to live any longer.
Ironically, that fear became my only hope. I imagined that possibly you did love me, and that it was the same fear holding me back from confessing my love that was holding you as well. Perhaps we were both simply too terrified of rejection that our love was held at bay. It was the only reason why you said nothing to me that I could cling to from which I didn’t completely despair.
(Some anger begins to creep into Annika’s voice, but none of it is directed at the prince.)
And then there’s your parents. By all that is holy and true, I wonder sometimes how it is that I haven’t cast forth a fireball upon them yet, or that you haven’t thrust your sword through their hearts.
I am truly sorry for saying such things against your parents the king and queen, my love, especially as I have never had any parents of my own and have been raised by my master the Arch-Mage Diana, but the way they abuse their power taking all they want from the people they should be giving their lives to protect, and torturing and murdering any who dare defy their cruelty, it… it sickens me.
They have tried their best to corrupt us both. Every action, every lesson from them seems to be designed to strip us of our humanity, but we haven’t abided by their wishes, have we, darling.
My love, it has only been your love for me, the love I know is there, I just know it, that has always kept me true. And I have done my best to be that bright source of love for you. And as we continued to grow, your light shown ever more brightly amidst the surrounding evil, and just like everything else about you, it continued to make me love you more. I got to the point where I didn’t want to be apart from you at all. I grew to even hate sleep because we couldn’t lie in each other’s arms for comfort. I yearned more and more for the day when you would finally admit your full, unreserved love for me.
(Annika now becomes bolder in her words. She is more deliberate and focused.)
And then it happened. A year ago, on our seventeenth birthday, your parents, the king and queen, announced your betrothal on your eighteenth birthday to that dark witch, the countess from the neighboring country, a hag that is over twice your age and with a reputation more foul than that of your own parents.
And I’m a mage, so you can believe me when I say that “dark witch” is not simply a disparaging term. She actually is a practitioner of the dark arts.
Your parents didn’t care about your well-being. They only cared about themselves and their throne. They were throwing you to her as a sacrifice to save their own crowns from possible invasion, or worse. And, yes, you may literally have been a sacrifice to her once she was through playing with you. Who knows what she would have done to you.
(Annika now sounds more pleading and desperate amidst the focused determination.)
So, it’s easy to see, my love, how I couldn’t let that go. I couldn’t let that be. I had to rescue you. I couldn’t let them do that to you. I just couldn’t.
(Annika lunges forward, holding the prince and kissing him several times on his cheeks and forehead before holding him tightly.)
My love. (Kiss.) I couldn’t. (Kiss.) I couldn’t. (Kiss.) Not to you. (Kiss.) Not ever. (Kiss.)
So I rescued you from that horrid place.
Tonight is the celebration of your eighteenth year. We both turned eighteen today and tomorrow you are scheduled to be wed. I took you to a secluded place near the stables. Nobody questioned it. Everyone knows of our friendship and assumed I wanted to wish you well or bless you with a magical enchantment of some sort. Well, they were right in a way. I used my magic to immobilize you.
Or rather, I tried. As you know, for some reason, it didn’t work quite right. It was supposed to hold you tight, but it only slowed you and weakened you. I found a rope and gag lying next to us and used them to quickly tie you as tightly as I could before anyone came looking for us, and then used levitation and invisibility on you in order to walk you past the guards at the front gate.
There weren’t nearly as many guards as I thought there would be, so that was fortunate. Apparently, many of them were investigating a mysterious sound coming from the nearby forest.
Once out of sight, I released the spell of invisibility. Using both was draining me more quickly than I had anticipated. In the end, I realized that had I been forced to use invisibility, levitation, and hold person for as long as necessary to get you past the guards and then to get you here, I wouldn’t have been able to manage, so finding a rope so close that I was able to tie you with was also extremely fortunate for me.
(Annika backs away again with somber love, not wanting to do what she’s about to do, but feeling it necessary.)
I was weakened from the exertion and needed time to rest and recuperate, and now my strength has returned. I know you cannot hear me now, my love. Your eyes have glazed over revealing that you’re in my power. I have now placed you in a hypnotic trance.
Please understand, I had to do this. I do genuinely love you and want only the best for you. And I do want to save you from that wretched beast they’re marrying you off to. But… I know this is selfish of me, I do… but… I can’t afford to face possible rejection. I can’t risk you… not… not professing your love for me as well.
(Crying softly.) Please understand, my love. It would destroy me. I just can’t let that happen.
(Annika takes a deep breath and focuses on the task at hand.)
And so I am going to make sure you believe that you love me, so we can be together forever. After I complete this enchantment, your mind and heart will forever be mine.
(A voice appears out of nowhere. It is Annika’s master, Diana, the arch mage that trained her.)
Diana: Annika, no.
Annika: (Shocked.) Master? Diana? Where are you? What are you doing?
Diana: I am broadcasting my voice to you through the prince, Annika. Heed me now. You must not enchant him in this way.
Annika: No, stay away from him. Stay away from us both. He is my love. Mine. I will not let that witch have him. I won’t even let you take him from me. I love him.
Diana: I know, Annika. I have always known.
Annika: What do you mean, you’ve always known? I never told you.
Diana: (Gently, not harshly.) Annika, please. Don’t insult me. I am the greatest mage in these lands. Nothing is hidden from me. Even if your thoughts weren’t easily read by me, your actions and your gaze always have been. Your love for him is real, as is his love for you.
Annika: (Joyous.) His love for me? He loves me? (Laugh/cry.) He really loves me?
(Suddenly serious again.) Then why do you wish to take my love away from me. I told you, I won’t let you.
Diana: I do not wish to take him from you, Annika. In fact, my greatest desire all of your young lives was that your true love would blossom and flourish.
I foresaw that you would seek to rescue the prince from this evil fate. I knew when and where you would take the prince to enchant him and knew it would fail. I am the one that placed the rope and gag there. I am the one that drew the guards away from the front gate with an illusion of my own.
You both have a great destiny in this land as well as to each other. But if you choose the path of hypnosis and mind-control now to get your way, you will lose him forever. He will know what you’ve done, and he will never completely trust you again because of it.
Annika: No. He can’t know. My magic is too powerful. He will always only know true love for me.
Diana: No, Annika, your magic cannot permanently penetrate his mind. He has been protected by great magics all of his life. It is why your hold person spell failed to work on him earlier. He repels magic designed to harm him.
Annika: But that wouldn’t harm him. Love is…
Diana: (Interrupting.) Love is not forced or coerced. You have loved him. You truly have shown him real love your entire life, and he has shown you true love as well.
There is a great mystical bond that ties you both together, although he is not quite as aware of it as you are. You have always believed that you were destined to be together, and you were right. With your natural abilities in magic, it was simply much easier for you to see it, to feel it.
Annika: Master, how… how do you know such things?
Diana: Because I’m the one who put those bonds into place. Annika, I am your real mother.
Annika: My mother? How?
Diana: My husband, my dearest love and your father, was the close friend of the prince’s father.
Annika: The king?
Diana: No. One who should have been king, the king’s older brother in line for the throne, and a good man.
Your father was his champion and greatest defender, as well as his closest friend. His wife and I were also very close and would spend many of our days together as we waited for our loving husbands to finish their daily duties.
She and I became pregnant at the same time and we were looking forward to raising you and the prince together. But that was not to be. Hours after you both were born, the king at that time fell to a grave illness that was sweeping the land. The man who is king now seized the throne by murdering his own brother and his wife.
Annika: (Sadly.) No.
Diana: My husband, your father, died in his defense. The king also sought to put the young prince to death, as well as myself and you to keep us from one day interfering with his evil deeds, but before that happened, I was able to place an enchantment on the entire kingdom making everyone believe that the prince was actually the new king’s own son, that I was simply the unmarried longtime Arch-Mage advisor to the now king, and that you were an orphan girl I had taken in to train because of your affinity to magic.
Annika: Mother, why didn’t you tell me?
Diana: To protect you, my dear. You know how draining your spells are on just one person. I have been holding them on an entire kingdom since you were born.
If word had gotten out as to yours and the prince’s true parentage, it would have put such a strain on my spell as to have shattered it and your lives would have been forfeit.
So go, go now with the prince. I will watch over you as best I can. Let your love grow. He is yours, Annika. He loves you very much. He has simply been too afraid to let you see it and too afraid to let himself experience it.
He has always felt that it wouldn’t be allowed to be by the people he believes are his parents, but he does love you. Now it will be free. Please trust me, Annika. He knows that what you do now, you do out of true love to free him from his oppressors. Go be together and grow in love for each other.
As your love grows, so will your power. The enchantments I placed upon the both of you will see to that. Your power will only be as great as your love. I foresee you being the greatest mage, and he the greatest warrior that this world has ever known. Armies will not be able to stand before you. You will restore hope and peace to many once your love has fully matured. And Annika.
Annika: Yes, mother?
Diana: He will never be parted with you. You do not need to fear that. The time I spent with your father was the greatest time in my life, and I am happy to see you now finally get the chance to experience that bliss with your true love as well. I have seen your future and you will always be together. Now go, Annika, go.
Annika: (As Mage’s voice fades away.) Goodbye, mother. And thank you.
(There is a pause as Diana's presence vanishes and the prince wakes from his enchantment.)
Are you ok, my love? You drifted off there for a moment.
(Pause.)
No, there’s no need to shake your head in apology. It’s been a tiring day and an intense couple of hours. You’re worn out. Here, let me remove the gag. Now, with the gag removed, please allow me to indulge myself this once before completely untying you.
(Kisses the prince softly and deeply. Then laughs in response to what the prince says. With a smile in her voice she goes on.)
You say that you’ve been waiting for me to shut up and kiss you? Well, wish granted, my love. There will be many more kisses soon to follow, I promise.
But we must leave as soon as possible. We need to get as much distance as we can from the castle before someone realizes what I have done. So let me untie you and…
(Brief pause.)
What? No, love, I really need to untie you so we can…
(Brief pause.)
Ok, ok, what is it you need to tell me that’s so urgent?
(Note to Annika the performer: I was really torn as to what emotion to show here. The prince is saying, “I love you.” Does Annika the character break down with tears of joy? Does she giggle? Does she simply smile at peace with the assurance that what her mother told her was true? I think tears of joy is the most gut-wrenchingly powerful, but does it fit the character and where she is right now? I’ll let you decide the emotion as she says…)
Yes, my love, I know. But I am so glad to hear you say it. I have waited so very long to hear it. And I love you too. I love you. I love you. I will always love you, and we have the rest of our lives together for me to prove it to you.

Hi everyone!! I'm destashing a few things, FS and Samples!! If you have any questions, please feel free to ask!! My set shipping day is Saturday. However, if I'm able to ship it out sooner, I'll let you know! 😊😊😊
Luna's Aroma Delights
FULL SIZES!
BLACK BACCARA/AMORPHOUS PERFUME
FIRESIDE STORIES : Aroma palette is a woody gourmand. Highlights include burning fireplace embers, cedar trees, warm butterscotch, pipe tobacco, and warm amber.
SAMPLES!
ANDROMEDA'S CURSE
POETRY RIBBON : Saffron, Plum Blossom, White Tea, Amberwood, Vegan Ambergris.
BLACK PHOENIX ALCHEMY LAB (BPAL)
BUGBEAR DOULA : A nurturing blend of motherwort, angelica root, and warm russet fur splashed with chamomile tea.
LADY MACBETH : The essence of ambition, covetousness and manipulation: Sweet Bordeaux Wine, blood red currant, thyme and wild berries.
MAIDEN : A gentle vision of purity, goodness and virtue: white tea, carnation and Damask Rose.
SUGAR PLUM SNOW WHITE : Sugar version of BPAL's Snow White. No official notes were listed for Sugar Plum Snow White, but here are the notes for Snow White: A chilly, bright perfume: flurries of virgin snow, crisp winter wind and the faintest breath of night-blooming flowers.
COCOAPINK
AUTUMN HAY RIDE : The brisk autumn air whips through your locks while crimson, orange and yellow leaves dance through the wind amid the perfect aroma of sweet pumpkin flesh, white peaches, and golden hay bales glowing in the afternoon sun with just a pinch of clary sage.
BLACKBERRY : As Notes Described.
COFFEE : Wake up to the invigorating aroma of a big ol' pot of freshly brewed Colombian coffee.
COME-HITHER : Such a sexy scent of intoxicating vanillas with a hint of myrrh. This is not a foodie vanilla. This vanilla is all grown up and will demand attention on anyone who wears it.
FULL MOON : Blackberry, Coconut Milk, Marshmallows, White Chocolate.
HOLIDAY LIGHTS : The exotic blend of luscious pomegranate sorbet and delicious vanilla custard swirled together and topped with sugared plums.
PLUMS AND CUSTARD : Rich egg custard folded with warm milk, glazed with caramelized sugar, and studded with sugared plums and strawberries; all served on a platter of musky Mysore sandalwood.
RASPBERRY : As Notes Described.
VANILLA BEAN NOEL : Fresh vanilla bean, warm caramel and rich, comforting cream create this deliciously sweet holiday scent. Caramel, sugar, vanilla, tonka bean and white musk. This is our #1 bestselling fragrance.
DEATH & FLORAL
THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE BECOME GHOSTS INSIDE YOU : Heavenly musk, lingering funeral flowers, cold scent of vanilla in an empty corridor, handprints on a foggy window (Notice: ‘The people you love become ghosts inside you‘ is a heavy atmospheric that has been reported to cause feelings of intense emotion and is sometimes unpleasant in its vulnerability. Not for the faint-hearted!).
HAUS OF GLOI
DARK FRUIT TEA : Blackberries, Black Raspberries, Black Currants, Black Tea.
HEXENNACHT/MR. HEX
DTF : Deep Plum, Clary Sage, Anise, Firewood.
HECATE : Thorn-Riddled Blackberry Brambles, Cabernet Sauvignon, Sagebrush, Dark Patchouli.
RASPBERRY ROSEMALLOW : Marshmallow, Buttercream, Raspberry-Rose Compote.
NOCTURNE ALCHEMY (NA OR NAVA)
BLACK CURRANT MUSK : French Black Currant Absolute, Black Currant skin, California Green Currant leaf, Bastet’s Amber and soft white floral blend of Tuberose, Mallow, Angelica, Musk Flower, and White Lily all blended beautifully into Bastet's Musk base.
BLUEBERRY MUSK : Bastet’s Musk absolute (Tuberose, Mallow, Angelica, Musk Flower, and White Lily), Blueberry essence, Snow Blueberry accord, Bastet’s Amber absolute, eNVie saphir absolute, and Blueberry Mallow essence accord.
PASSION FRUIT MUSK : Australian Passiflora herbertiana, Passion Fruit seed extract (Golden Passion Fruit), Passionflower, Mango Skin, Tart Passion Fruit seeds, Guava Skin, Bastet Amber-infused Purple Passion Fruit seed, and soft white floral blend of Tuberose, Mallow, Angelica, Musk Flower, and White Lily all blended beautifully into Bastet's Musk base.
PLUM MUSK : Plum skin, Plum Flowers distilled, Plum Seed oil, Raspberry, Cranberry, Strawberry essence accord, Vanilla, Honey, Osmanthus Flower Absolute, Bastet’s Amber, White Skin Musk and soft white floral blend of Tuberose, Mallow, Angelica, Musk Flower, and White Lily all blended beautifully into Bastet's Musk base.
RASPBERRY MUSK : Bastet’s Musk absolute (Tuberose, Mallow, Angelica, Musk Flower, and White Lily), Wild Transylvanian Raspberry accord, Raspberry skin accord, Crystalline (Studio Limited Vanilla) absolute, Bastet’s Amber absolute, eNVie saphir, Bastet’s Ice Cream Essence.
ZODIAC: PISCES : Salted Peach Skin accord, Peach essence, Ocean Salt, Ocean Sage, Ocean Moss accords, and eNVie saphir.
NUI COBALT
EQUINOPHILIA : Toasted oats, green and golden hay, living cedar, deep auburn musk, chestnuts, corn silk, saddle leather, and galbanum.
POESIE
ALWAYS TIME FOR TEA : Countless cups of black tea loaded with cream, treacle tarts, mini strawberry jam tarts.
HABIBI : Ambery resins blend with deep vanilla notes and a swoon-worthy honey spiked with spices. Combined with the beloved essence of henna flower and fragrant sandalwood, an amber for the ages.
INNOCENCE : Sweet Peach Skin, Delicate Coconut Milk, Comforting Skin Musk.
LIBRARY GHOST : Studious marshmallows surrounded by books, ink, and polished wood.
MURE : Juicy, ripe blackberries picked straight from the vine.
ROSALIND FRANKLIN : Red wine with notes of berries, chocolate, spice, and vanilla, accented with sandalwood and oud.
SCHOLOMANCE : Ancient castle walls under a forest floor, dragon’s blood incense, a wicked blend of green herbs and rich spices.
SOTNOS : Freshly baked buttery rolls filled with cardamom-spiked sugar and drizzled with a sweet glaze of vanilla and condensed milk, a small cup of sweet black tea.
STRAWBERRY FIELDS FOR EMMA : Earthy green oakmoss, wild strawberries, Italian bergamot, lily of the valley, galbanum.
STONE & WIT
BLACKBERRY HEARTWOOD : Blackberry Accord, Sandalwood Accord.
FRITH : Blueberry, Dandelion Greens, Sage, Witch Hazel, Vetiver.
TURYIN : Pomegranate, Plum Wine, Sandalwood, Gunpowder.
STRANGE FIRE & FUMERY
LILACS AND GOOSEBERRIES : As Notes Described.
THE LITTLE BOOK EATER
AMELIE POULAIN : Sugar Plum, Strawberries, & Buttercream.
Luna's Aroma Delights
NOTE: From Sunday 7th April Afternoon - Monday 8th April Night I may be slow to respond as I will be traveling for the Solar Eclipse. I promise, your comments will not be ignored, but I will be traveling. I will respond as soon as I can. Thank you! 😊

Hi everyone!! I'm destashing a few things, FS and Samples!! Soooo much has been added to the list!!! If you have any questions, please feel free to ask!! My set shipping day is Saturday. However, if I'm able to ship it out sooner, I'll let you know!
Luna's Aroma Delights
FULL SIZES!
BLACK BACCARA/AMORPHOUS PERFUME
FIRESIDE STORIES : Aroma palette is a woody gourmand. Highlights include burning fireplace embers, cedar trees, warm butterscotch, pipe tobacco, and warm amber.
SAMPLES!
ANDROMEDA'S CURSE
POETRY RIBBON : Saffron, Plum Blossom, White Tea, Amberwood, Vegan Ambergris.
BLACK PHOENIX ALCHEMY LAB (BPAL)
BUGBEAR DOULA : A nurturing blend of motherwort, angelica root, and warm russet fur splashed with chamomile tea.
MAIDEN : A gentle vision of purity, goodness and virtue: white tea, carnation and Damask Rose.
SUGAR PLUM SNOW WHITE : Sugar version of BPAL's Snow White. No official notes were listed for Sugar Plum Snow White, but here are the notes for Snow White: A chilly, bright perfume: flurries of virgin snow, crisp winter wind and the faintest breath of night-blooming flowers.
COCOAPINK
AUTUMN HAY RIDE : The brisk autumn air whips through your locks while crimson, orange and yellow leaves dance through the wind amid the perfect aroma of sweet pumpkin flesh, white peaches, and golden hay bales glowing in the afternoon sun with just a pinch of clary sage.
BLACK CHOCOLATE RASPBERRIES : Fresh, juicy raspberries coated in a layer of rich dark chocolate with a hint of seduction.
BLACKBERRY : As Notes Described.
COFFEE : Wake up to the invigorating aroma of a big ol' pot of freshly brewed Colombian coffee.
COME-HITHER : Such a sexy scent of intoxicating vanillas with a hint of myrrh. This is not a foodie vanilla. This vanilla is all grown up and will demand attention on anyone who wears it.
CRANBERRY NOEL : CP’s exclusive tart cranberry with no spice notes, sweetened with Vanilla Bean Noel.
FROSTED EYELET : Buttercream, Marshmallow, Vanilla Ice Cream. This is our best selling Ivory Eyelet, without the Lemon. Delicious!
GOBLIN MARKET : An armful of the sweetest fruits from enchanted orchards in Faerie. Blackberries, raspberries, strawberries fair; apples and apricots, lemons and pears. Peaches and oranges, cherries by measure, and kisses of skin musk to bind them together.
HOLIDAY LIGHTS : The exotic blend of luscious pomegranate sorbet and delicious vanilla custard swirled together and topped with sugared plums.
MARSHMALLOW : Creamy rich whipped marshmallow sugary whiteness. No almond or toasty notes. This is a perfect scent for all vanilla lovers. Excellent for layering. BESTSELLER!
PLUMS AND CUSTARD : Rich egg custard folded with warm milk, glazed with caramelized sugar, and studded with sugared plums and strawberries; all served on a platter of musky Mysore sandalwood.
RASPBERRY : As Notes Described.
VANILLA BEAN NOEL : Fresh vanilla bean, warm caramel and rich, comforting cream create this deliciously sweet holiday scent. Caramel, sugar, vanilla, tonka bean and white musk. This is our #1 bestselling fragrance.
DEATH & FLORAL
THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE BECOME GHOSTS INSIDE YOU : Heavenly musk, lingering funeral flowers, cold scent of vanilla in an empty corridor, handprints on a foggy window (Notice: ‘The people you love become ghosts inside you‘ is a heavy atmospheric that has been reported to cause feelings of intense emotion and is sometimes unpleasant in its vulnerability. Not for the faint-hearted!).
HAUS OF GLOI
DARK FRUIT TEA : Blackberries, Black Raspberries, Black Currants, Black Tea.
HEXENNACHT/MR. HEX
DTF : Deep Plum, Clary Sage, Anise, Firewood.
HECATE : Thorn-Riddled Blackberry Brambles, Cabernet Sauvignon, Sagebrush, Dark Patchouli.
RASPBERRY ROSEMALLOW : Marshmallow, Buttercream, Raspberry-Rose Compote.
LAUREL & JUNE
STRAWBERRY KISSES : White musk, sandalwood, honeyed strawberry.
NOCTURNE ALCHEMY (NA OR NAVA)
BLACK CURRANT MUSK : French Black Currant Absolute, Black Currant skin, California Green Currant leaf, Bastet’s Amber and soft white floral blend of Tuberose, Mallow, Angelica, Musk Flower, and White Lily all blended beautifully into Bastet's Musk base.
BLUEBERRY MUSK : Bastet’s Musk absolute (Tuberose, Mallow, Angelica, Musk Flower, and White Lily), Blueberry essence, Snow Blueberry accord, Bastet’s Amber absolute, eNVie saphir absolute, and Blueberry Mallow essence accord.
PASSION FRUIT MUSK : Australian Passiflora herbertiana, Passion Fruit seed extract (Golden Passion Fruit), Passionflower, Mango Skin, Tart Passion Fruit seeds, Guava Skin, Bastet Amber-infused Purple Passion Fruit seed, and soft white floral blend of Tuberose, Mallow, Angelica, Musk Flower, and White Lily all blended beautifully into Bastet's Musk base.
PINA GHOULATA : Tropical Pineapple, Coconut Milk, Jamaican Coconut Shaving, Rum Spice, Bay Rum and Key Lime powder.
PLUM MUSK : Plum skin, Plum Flowers distilled, Plum Seed oil, Raspberry, Cranberry, Strawberry essence accord, Vanilla, Honey, Osmanthus Flower Absolute, Bastet’s Amber, White Skin Musk and soft white floral blend of Tuberose, Mallow, Angelica, Musk Flower, and White Lily all blended beautifully into Bastet's Musk base.
RASPBERRY MUSK : Bastet’s Musk absolute (Tuberose, Mallow, Angelica, Musk Flower, and White Lily), Wild Transylvanian Raspberry accord, Raspberry skin accord, Crystalline (Studio Limited Vanilla) absolute, Bastet’s Amber absolute, eNVie saphir, Bastet’s Ice Cream Essence.
ZODIAC: PISCES : Salted Peach Skin accord, Peach essence, Ocean Salt, Ocean Sage, Ocean Moss accords, and eNVie saphir.
NUI COBALT
EQUINOPHILIA : Toasted oats, green and golden hay, living cedar, deep auburn musk, chestnuts, corn silk, saddle leather, and galbanum.
POESIE
ALWAYS TIME FOR TEA : Countless cups of black tea loaded with cream, treacle tarts, mini strawberry jam tarts.
HABIBI : Ambery resins blend with deep vanilla notes and a swoon-worthy honey spiked with spices. Combined with the beloved essence of henna flower and fragrant sandalwood, an amber for the ages.
INNOCENCE : Sweet Peach Skin, Delicate Coconut Milk, Comforting Skin Musk.
LIBRARY GHOST : Studious marshmallows surrounded by books, ink, and polished wood.
MURE : Juicy, ripe blackberries picked straight from the vine.
ROSALIND FRANKLIN : Red wine with notes of berries, chocolate, spice, and vanilla, accented with sandalwood and oud.
SCHOLOMANCE : Ancient castle walls under a forest floor, dragon’s blood incense, a wicked blend of green herbs and rich spices.
SOTNOS : Freshly baked buttery rolls filled with cardamom-spiked sugar and drizzled with a sweet glaze of vanilla and condensed milk, a small cup of sweet black tea.
STRAWBERRY FIELDS FOR EMMA : Earthy green oakmoss, wild strawberries, Italian bergamot, lily of the valley, galbanum.
SOLSTICE SCENTS
CHERRY VANILLA AMBEROSIA (EDP) : Amber, Cherry, Vanilla, Whipped Cream, Orange.
BLACKBURN FARMSTEAD : Blackberry Jam, Boysenberry Preserves, Vanilla Bean, Creamy Vanilla and a touch of Vanilla Musk.
STONE & WIT
BLACKBERRY HEARTWOOD : Blackberry Accord, Sandalwood Accord.
FRITH : Blueberry, Dandelion Greens, Sage, Witch Hazel, Vetiver.
TURYIN : Pomegranate, Plum Wine, Sandalwood, Gunpowder.
STRANGE FIRE & FUMERY
LILACS AND GOOSEBERRIES : As Notes Described.
THE LITTLE BOOK EATER
AMELIE POULAIN : Sugar Plum, Strawberries, & Buttercream.
Luna's Aroma Delights

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Title

Signup/account creation CAPTCHA is clearly broken, as evidenced by bots flooding our communities using a new account for every single post

Post contents

A significant problem as previously reported is that a portion of these posts cannot be detected or removed by Automod, bots, or post requirements, so there is no way to reliably block them. Probably due to the sheer volume of them, they keep triggering that bug and showing up hours later in our reports queue, without ever having been visible to us in any feeds.
Banning them is futile, as they immediately re-post with a fresh new account; despite banning several tens of thousands of them, we've not seen any picked up by the ban-evasion detection either.
The overwhelming rate of these suggests that something is seriously wrong with signup controls. A not insignificant number of communities appear to be completely buried in these posts. The site-wide anti-spam does eventually catch them, but only after about an hour, and the rate of reposting is fast enough to keep several of their posts continuously at the top of most of the communities they are targeting.
To give a sense of scale, here is a portion of the new accounts created by the "sinder" group alone within the past hour:
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hey, so if anyone else has an insatiable thirst for useless pockets of knowledge, here is every food mentioned in red white and royal blue, as compiled by me. this is the most inconsistent categorising ever please do not @ me.......... but the content is pretty thorough. and the pages are based on the American collectors edition bc I wanted to use the version w henrys chapter as a reference :)
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Assorted donuts - p3, June ‘stole’ from somewhere and Alex and June eat. p4 Alex eats chocolate with sprinkles p6, p313 eat with hot chocolate, p314 Ellen wants them, p369 Nora and June getting donuts, makes bea want them too
Shrimp cocktails - p4, Alex mentions ate them in nyc at a convention
Champagne - p5, Alex brought to Noras room in nyc, when they moaned in hotel room to get nosy tabloids attention, p11 Nora passes Alex a flute of champagne at wedding, p14 champagne fountain, p15 Alex jokes about fountain, p16 Henry drinks champagne, p17 Henry shatters champagne glass, p90 Henry drinking from a bottle of Moet & Chandon, p91, p139 birthday champagne, p163 Alex drinking at his grad party, p165 at fundraiser, p168 Nora spays Henry w it, p169, p170, p313 Henry and Catherine drinking together, p346, p372 ‘thumbing corks out of champagne bottles’, p382 clicquot, p383 having with strawberry
Pistachios - p8, Alex eats on plane to London
Cake (wedding cake) - p9 first mentioned, p14 Alex notices Henry at it, p16 the fall :), mentions 8 tier, white buttercream, p18, p19, p22, p94, p186, p392 thinking about Henry and Alex’s wedding ‘a wedding cake that doesn’t end up on the floor’
Peanuts? - p9 mentioned June is allergic lol
Coffee - p9 Alex middle of the night requests, p21 zahra drinks, p24 said Alex June and Nora stunted their growth with espresso during primaries, p48 Alex drinking, p60 Alex drinks and has refills, p68 Alex drinking at 2am, p102 Alex, p108 Henry spotted with ‘blonde’ over coffee, p127 Alex drinking, p128 Alex drinking a different cup, p141 June drank, p151 Alex drinks coffee sludge, doesn’t like it with almond milk, wants cow milk, p175 ‘henrys mood turns sour over morning coffees’ and cash brings hem all coffee when hungover, p179 Alex, p192 coffeepot, p201 zahra, p223 Henry going to coffeemaker, then Nora, p240 Henry brings Alex coffee, Alex likes it w one sugar and cinnamon, p243, p264 zahra, and she keeps her in a thermos, p294 zahra running on ‘black coffee, a wetzels pretzel, and a fistful of b12’, p298 Alex wants to break Philips nose w coffee percolator, p325 Alex spills, p350 zahra, p360 ‘hipster cold brews’, p370 ‘Alex at the coffeepot’, p374 coffee percolator
Also, about cinnamon, p373 Henry once liked a boy bc he smelled of cinnamon
Chocolate - p10 mentioned Philip and Marthas face plastered on bars, p75 family go into Whitehouse chocolate shop, p114 ‘ornamental display of chocolates’ at state dinner, p255 ‘until we both expire in a haze of chocolate sauce’, p335 Alex thinks about he and henrys face plastered on bars
Sandwich - p11 June eats cucumber sandwich at wedding, p372, Alex brings Henry sausage egg and cheese sandwich, p374 Henry would force feed Alex bacon butty
Wine - p14 Alex takes off tray and downs, p16 Alex thinks the wine gave him confidence, p24 Nora uncorks bottle of red, p26 play drinking game w it, p99 everyone wants June at their wine and cheese night, p113 Henry drinking red w prime minister p118 Henry had red on his lips, p137 Alex and Henry drink two bottles in Paris, p138 Alex and Henry bottle of red, p375 mulled wine
Water - p15 Henry suggests Alex switch from alcohol to water, p222 Alex chugs glass at lake house after hangover
Cabbage - p21 Alex says Henry has the personality of one - also p376 pez calls Alex a ‘stupid little turnip’
Pie - p26 fact sheet says mutton pie henrys favourite food, p61 reveals not his favourite food, p297 ‘ the bottom crust of the pie’, p368 Henry has made mince pie
Tea - p28 shaan is drinking, p136 Henry spilled, p159 Alex expects to find Henry over his morning tea, Alex imagine shim drinking tea in lush countryside, p161 Henry says they’ll have tea and biscuits, p231 Alex getting emotional at smell of earl grey, p240 Henry drinking earl grey, p243, p300 shaan drinking, smell of whiskey coming from it, p302, p303 queen drinking w milk and two cubes of sugar, p305, p309 be a dumps on Philips lap, p370 Alex would put kettle on in morning, p371 queen tea tray, p378 Henry makes when his mum visits p379 p380, p384 Henry was stirring sugar in morning tea when shaan came in to tell about emails
Chinese takeout - p32 Alex says parents couldn’t order it without fighting, p205 Chinese food during Ellens powerpoint
Helados - p32 Alex ate at dads house during divorce, p33 Kensington didn’t have, p80
Cornettos - p33 first mention but nameless, p34 Henry asks for one, p35
Other ice cream - p157 June gets some sent up, p158, p380 gelato
Beans on toast - p36 Alex hates it thinks bland
Beer - p37 Alex praises uk’s beer selection, p52 Raf says Alex should be playing beerpong, p54 June drinks w pizza Shiner, type of beer - p54 imported from Texas, eat with pizza, p56 Alex drinks, p60 Alex and Henry debate English v American, p76 during busy congressional sessions Alex Raf and Oscar will drink together weekly, p110 Alex considers asking Raf for some to talk about his gay experiences, p166 Alex gets in la, p167, p218 Henry drinking shiner, p224 Alex shiner, p321 Alex imagines people in uk drinking while watching speech, p331 Oscar brings to raf’s office, p360 Alex promises Alex and Spencer a six pack for their bikes, ‘beer bummed off a stranger’, p382 Raf brings case of beer
Skittles - p49 luna likes tropical flavoured ones, p50, p326 Alex brings Raf some, p327, p328, p329
Pizza - p54 family dinner, ‘black bear?’ Eats with banana peppers, ate with olives in 2017 to arguments, June eats Margherita, Alex eats pepperoni and mushroom, p57, p58, p59 Leo eats cheesy bread, p76 Ellens guilty pleasure pizza bagels, p151 the ‘gun file’ makes Alex stress eat pizza, p268 Alex and Nora date, p274 Alex and Raf ate in Denver, p356 June stress eats cold pizza, p380 eat pizza after get engaged, pepperoni
Falafel - p61 revealed its henrys actual favourite food
Curry - p61, Henry says bea steals his leftovers from fridge
Plantains - p62 pez eats with ‘someone who might be jay-z’
Thanksgiving food - p66 turkeys, named cornbread and stuffing, p67, p68 cornbread knows my sins, p69, p70, 71,72,73
Jaffa cakes - p71 mr wobbles tries to steal, Henry eating them, p73, p259 Henry stress eats Jaffa cakes
Biscuits - p72 Henry learns about them on bake off, p80 Henry and bea sharing them on Christmas Eve (p105 Nora calls Henry a biscuit but the American kind I assume, p106 June calls Alex a honey biscuit) p161 tea and biscuits
Croissants - p75 mentioned heads of state eat them on Truman balcony
Caldillo - p76 Alexs dad would make, onions peppers stew meat, masa
Salsa verde - p76 Oscar would make and store in butter container, p221 pork tamales with salsa verde
Christmas dinner - p77, p374 ‘Henry is going to make a Yule log if it kills him’, p375 ‘disgraced platter of ganache and cake and marzipan
Candy cane - p80 bea says Henry is wearing candy cane pyjamas
Whiskey - p81, p85 Alex orders at nye party, p86, p189 Alex likes expensive whiskey, p196 Alex orders 2 at beekman, p272 Alex would steal makers and get drunk, p274 Alex and Raf drank scotch in Denver, p276 alexs secret stash of makers, p300 smell of it coming from shaans tea, p353 Liam ‘whiskey warm drawl’
Various alcohol - p83 real housewives daughter drinking margarita at last nye party, p90 Nora tastes like peach schnapps, p101 Alex invited to after work drinks, p111 Liam drinking Bloody Mary, p114 after dinner cocktails, p161 cognac, p162 punch bowl, p165 vodka shots (bea gets soda with lime), 166 another round, p167, p196 Henry orders gin and tonic at beekman, 197, p213 vodka shots mentioned again in prince story, p216 Alex got drunk for first time with strawberry daiquiris, p221 sangria with white peaches and blackberries, p223 Alex makes mimosas for breakfast, p294 Henry drinking brandy, p295 bea takes it away, p347 mojitos, p371 Henry wants to be on a beach sipping something from a pineapple (idk what so just putting it here), p373 ‘fridge full of topo chico and bulmers’, p374 ‘gin swizzle’, p382 Raf tequila shots at drag bingo
Other Cake - p84 eating cake samples, Nora eating chocolate cake, p139 birthday cupcake w buttercream, p353 massive victory cake on the buffet table
Pez - p87, pez like the sweets,
Cajeta - p98 Alex likes on ice cream
Cheese - p99 everyone wants June at their wine and cheese night, p136 Alex wants henrys help picking French cheeses, p138 directions to Parisian cheese shop, p295 bea brings out crackers and a chunk of soft cheese, p374 Henry yet to meet Englishman who can pick a better brie than himself
Chipotle - p102 Nora loves. Alex brings her burritos and chips and guac, p103 she likes barbacoa, black beans, p104 Alex eating too, p105, p106
Barbecue sauce - p103 Alex has shotgunned a bottle of it lol, p221 on ribs I think, Henry gets on nose
Rice pilaf - p113 Henry eating at state dinner
Profiteroles - p114 Nora lures Henry with at state dinner, p255 Henry wants to waste away in Alexis bed eating profiteroles
Crepes - p137 ‘ crepe eating tourists’
Bread - p137 crusty baguettes, p241 Philip eating plain toast, p373 baguettes, p374 Henry can make toast
Apricot tarts - p137 ‘sticky tarts filled with fat apricots’, p213 mentioned again in prince story
Milkshake - p146 June dumped strawberry one over guy who tried to grope her at lollapalooza, p170 bea going to try fries dipped in milkshake
Pasta - p153 June eating when Alex forgets dinner, p374 Henry taught himself the basics of it, garlic, onion butter
Olive - p163 nora eating at Alexs grad party
In-n-out - p169 they all get, June wants animal style, p170
Sugar - p170 Henry tells Alex ‘the way you speak is like sugar spilling out of a bag with a hole in the bottom’ - idk if that counts, also Ellen constantly calling Alex sugar but I didn’t take note of it the first times and now its too late to start, p371 Henry used to sneak sugarcubes off queen tea trays
Basil - p184 ‘people named basil’
Quail - p186 lady Agathas son quail hunting
Five guys - p195 Alex memorised luna’s order, p318 luna sends Nora files with order Alex memorised as a code - bacon cheeseburger, grilled onions, A1 sauce
Cola - p216 Mexican coke driving to lakehouse, p372 Henry describes Alex as ‘refracted light with a cherry cola chaser’
Tres leches - p217 Alex’s dad would make
Burgers - p217 Alex’s mum would grill
Misc stuff about lake house - p218 smells like citrus and salt and herbs, kept stocked with tomatoes and avocados,, p221 elotes, pork tamales with salsa verde, frijoles charros, ribs, sangria with white peaches and blackberries, p222 Chile de arbol, p223 Alex makes pancakes, p224 eat marshmallows at campfire, p226 migas
Elotes - p218 Oscar shucking corn for elotes adds cotija, creama and seasonings, p220 again creama and cheese p224 Alex dreams about Henry learning to make elotes
Ribs - p218 Alex grills, seasons with brown sugar, smoked paprika, onion powder, chilli powder, garlic powder, cayenne pepper, salt, pepper, more brown sugar, measured by hand, p221, p254 Franklin barbecue (I think is ribs)
Pancakes - p223 Alex makes, p376 Alex orders 3 breakfasts from a 24 hour diner, p377, p378 Alex has syrup
Scones - p243 henry gets scones and blackcurrant jam sent up to room - also mel and sue squak over tea cakes, p298 eat for breakfast, p383 Henry good at making them
Honeycomb - p251 honeycomb sweet to thy taste, also ‘honey’ is used as a term of endearment somewhere but I didn’t note it down
Waffle - p264 Alex and June, with syrup
Pretzel - p294 zahra
Crackers - p295 cheese and crackers, p297
Hot chocolate - p312 eat w donuts
Red bull - p317 Nora says she drank 9
Cullen skink - p336 bea needs 20l for event, smoked haddock chowder, p339
Nopal - p360 reminds Alex of Austin
Quiche - p367 Henry wants to make for bea and pez, p368 wants to make a ‘shallot and thyme quiche with mushrooms from the farmers market’, p369 Alex says he almost never finds shells in them
Misc Henry chapter - p368 Henry tried to make sausage in microwave when he was 12, it exploded, p374 Henry can boil an egg, watches cooking tutorials eg how to brown butter + roast a chicken, p383 Henry made beef wellington, badly seemingly, p387 Henry brings Alex soup, p390 easy to imagine Alex as a brisket smoking, tamale rolling dad in Texas, free refills and bottomless chips and salsa, p392 Sunday morning fy ups

shipping: $5
Moonalisa
-Sugar Skulls: Sweet sugared Marshmallows, Vanilla Bean, and White Chocolate-5ml full-$10
Sage Goddess
-REWILD(x2): orange blossom, lemon, pine needle, oakmoss, amber, and an extraordinary oil: Boronia absolute – considered the rarest oil in the world-$10
-Essence of Africa: a restorative blend of tea tree for spiritual strength, Egyptian geranium for auric protection, acacia absolute for emotional healing, watermelon for tranquility, birch tar for rejuvenation, chamomile for energetic clearing, cape chamomile for protection, and frankincense for grounding-$10
-Matrilinea: notes of bergamot, golden honey nectar, white musk, almond, caramelized brown sugar, and vanilla, this perfume is warm, comforting, and timeless-$10
{take all three for $25}
Naughty Button
(10 ml rollerball oils):
-Pink Flamingo: Smells just like the delicious tropical mixed drink! Its the scent of a sweet sugary candy scent of berries and with sweet vanilla undertones-$5
-Incantation: Dried flowers enhanced by citrus tones over a classic oriental accord on a dry down of exotic woods, white musk & creamy vanilla-$5
-Fizzy Red: lemon, lime, pineapple, and oranges. The middle notes are white gardenia, lemongrass, and a touch of rose. The base notes are a bubbly effervescence notes with a touch of vanilla. A sophisticated and elegant soda- ish type scent!-$5
-Fairy Garden: Juicy apple bits and fully fragrant orange blossoms combined with tart cranberries, mulberries and blackberries. Joining in the fruity explosion is a juicy strawberry puree dancing on a base of sweet vanilla spun sugar-$5
-Pixie Potion: fruity blend of apples, peaches and apricots blended with effervescent citrus notes giving this a wonderful sparkly note. Delicious sweet red berries are blended throughout with hints of coconut and sweet sugar crystals sprinkled with magical pixie dust-$5
Cocoapink
(10 ml rollerball oils)
-Mansion: Sweet Magnolia, Pink Crepe Myrtle, soft peach nectar surrounded by sheer vanilla, the unmistakable notes of old books, stairwells and memories of what once was, sugared Tonka bean and oakmoss tempered by a drop of gentle white musk complete this haunting blend. formally Myrtles P-$10
-Coeur de Vahine: soft and feminine, complex yet not overbearing -Notes of bergamot, orange, peach and passion fruit; with middle notes of cinnamon, rose, jasmine, Tahitian Opuhi petals; ending on dry notes of sandalwood, vanilla pods and musk. This is a wonderful general purpose scent.-$10
{take both for $15}
Lonjora J Scents
-Pink Raspberry Cosmo 10 ml: notes of pink raspberry, Florida orange, and green lime juice, followed by middle notes of juniper berries, lemon zests, and a Triple Sec accord; sitting on intoxicating notes of violet leaves, a Vodka accord, and a dash of sugar. Think Pink Drink!-$5
Patisserie Parfumerie
-Bloom Where You’re Planted: Notes of milk chocolate and creamy red roses-$5
Non-indie
Demeter Perfumes
-Birthday Cake 10 ml rollerball oil:
Demeter’s Birthday Cake is a delicious and aromatic blend of chocolate cake, buttercream icing and pink icing flowers-$5

I'm searching for drarry fics to read / reread, so tell me your TOP 3 FAVOURITE DRARRY FICS EVER and I'll read them💓
🥰 These are my own Top 3:
Starting from #3: Heal Thyself by Astolat. The Draco in this fic is characterised so well, and his emotions really ran deep with me throughout my reading of it. The struggles he goes through definitely resonated with me, and changed my perspective about perseverance and what it means to be strong.
In #2 we have: The Man Who Lived by SebastianL. This was such a masterfully done fic. I know some people don't enjoy 1st person, but I still recommend this. The Draco in this fic is also so well characterised and I'm just so proud of him. It brought me to tears on multiple occasions & I definitely felt something change within me when I read it
Lastly, and according to me one of the best thing ever, in FIRST #1 place we have: Blood Magic by houseofhebrideanblacks & Thestralsofspinnersend. It's set post war, and shows how Harry and Draco deal with their respective traumas. It takes a really unique perspective on how they both come out of the war, and I don't want to spoil anything but it is so beautifully written. It deals with various kinds of trauma, as well as recovery — and it's so raw and so so difficult to read but in the best way possible because it makes you feel so human and it just makes you FEEL so much god. There's a quote from it that says "recovery isn't linear" and my goodness, this fic has changed me sm and all for the better. Both the authors have a spotify channel where they narrate the fic and talk about their thoughts that went into its creation - def worth checking out. I'm just in awe of this one honestly. I feel like it's so severely underrated. More people should def read it!
Honourable Mentions:
• Mirror of Ecidyrue series by Starbrigid
• Journal of Dreadful Things series by Lilbeanz19
• Chaos Theory by Tessa Crowley
• The Star Splitter by oflights
• In the Bleak Midwinter by fools_errand
• Blackberry Jam by JuliettesEmoPhase