Short rhyming poem about money

Shortsqueeze

2020.06.07 23:41 Shortsqueeze

We squeezing them shorts or something! Join our discord! https://discord.gg/pawy3335bp
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2008.03.15 19:41 Poetry - spoken word, literature code, less is more

A place for sharing published poetry. For sharing orignal content, please visit OCPoetry
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2008.03.04 00:47 Frugal Living: Waste Less, Gain More!

Frugality is the mental approach we each take when considering our resource allocations. It includes time, money, convenience, and many other factors.
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2024.05.22 00:10 dradrado Is zero inhibiting cosmological understanding? One person's point of view.

When theorising in astrophysics, and more specifically the beginning and expansion of the universe (the big bang), the phenomenon of black holes and the mysteries behind dark matter and dark energy, we mistakenly use the two concepts interchangeably, they being 1. The philosophical zero, ie nothingness, and 2. The mathematics concept of zero, ie summarily attaching the philosophical concept of zero, with a numerical designation because it greatly assists the functionality of mathematic in the paradigm of our observable reality. Also please bearing mind the the math concept of zero allows negative values, unlike the philosophy, and when discussing space time, there is no place for negative numbers. Now that said and made clear, I believe it impossible for us to attempt to explain the unimaginable, without separation and distinction of the two concepts when infinity is brought into the conversation. Infinity, like zero, is a philosophical concept not all that dissimilar to zero, it has a mathematical conceptual basis also, but unlike the philosophical zero ie nothingness, it is given a numerical designation that more accurately relates to it philosophically, even though it is not strictly a number and cannot he used in any tangible calculation, mathematics certainly allows for its philosophical manifestation into mathematical equations.
I see this as a huge conflict, especially as it the very essence of big bang theory ie from nothing came infinity at the moment of the big bang. We surely cannot hope to solve this puzzle if the universe if we are conceptually flawed at he very starting point. 0 and infinity therefore cannot be used together in any calculation because we haven't yet reconciled the two conceptually. How can we look at this differently? How can we navigate passed mathematical dogma a concepts our brains are not capable of truly understanding on a practical level?
These are very tough existential and philosophical problems. So rather than just critise the current order and point out what I see as conflicts, but offer no alternative, may I suggest at least a starting point for discussion and exploration which may be found in the area of fractal science/mathematics. And a good place to focus the beginning of any theoretical discourse, in my opinion would be the work of, amoung others, Mandelbrot and the set named after him, the Mandelbrot Set. I suggest this because it mathematically the most relevant area of a field and is largely avoided by the popular culture's interest in fractals which is largely forcused on aesthetical beauty, particularly popular with the psychedelic subculture which I believe has a place and time to be investigated as a part of the whole discussion, but maybe for now should not be a point of focus in fear of contaminating a sterile discussion with with larger philosophically arguments about what is reality, due to the psychedelic substance insights of those schools. To incorporate any talk of altered states of consciousness, may be counter productive at this time. Hence my Mandelbrot suggestion achieves the mathematical parameters I believe are the best for theoretical mathematical support and cancels out the annoying noise that the fractal science field makes due to its attractiveness to non mainstream pop culture.
The Mandelbrot set is intriguing, not only because of the almost mindblowing graphical capability of AI, for as the Mandelbrot set seen by AI and then visualised for us to see, is nothing short of unbelievably beautiful. It also has an ability to provoke inner hought and discourse without one knowing the subject, topic or reason for the quiet peaceful internal discourse it inspires. I mention this, not because it can directly be incorporated in the radical discussion, but experiencing the astonishlng complexity if its beauty and the way it continues infinitely (or rather as long as it continues to be observed) because if the very self contained nature of the Mandelbrot set. After all, the mandelbrit set is simply a set of numbers, that when placed in the equation, do not spiral out into infinity. The equation value is always >0 or <2. So what as I see as irony, as the set was designed to avoid infinity in a sense, what it actually does is provide us with the best possible conceptualisation, in practice and theory, of a model demonstrating infinity. Even more bizarre is that the technology had only recently become available to show us visually by AI graphing. I'm not sure without the visual stimulus, could we have seen how beautifully fractal science demonstrates its potential unravelling existential and theoretical mysteries. I believe it lends itself perfectly to my proposed theory.
I think so because infinity is difficult for the human mind to grasp, some may say impossible. What is even more difficult for our minds to grasp is infinity of reducted values. Basically, if infinity can exist in an expanding sense, then it is not a stretch of conceptualisation to think it can infinitely get smaller. This breaks no rules of science. Searching for the building block of the universe has been crusade of quantum physicists dating back to the creation of the scientific theory. Much money and effort has been spent in search for smaller and smaller still subatomic particles. What they do is fractal science in its purest form, yet like with the study of Theoretical Astrophysics, quantum science theory is its self hampered by the concept if zero as a number, in my opinion. Even doing the work of factually reducing matter, they are blinded to its possible futility, should fractal reduction does forever decend in to fractal infinity or -ve infinity. For if that is the case, maybe quantum theory is in fact mankind's first exploration, albeit unknowingly, into what may well be a black hole. That is for a later discussion but certainly worth bringing to the attention for the purposes of this discussion.
So if we can accept that -ve infinity is as equally viable and logical as +ve infinity, what room in this discussion is left for the inclusion of zero?
I believe this leaves no room for zero in the same conversation as infinity. I am not suggesting zero should be stricken from mathematics. However I am suggesting that mathematics use of zero may, invalidate is ongoing use as an effective tool for measurement and communication, when the subject is beyond our ability to comprehend. Few people will argue that our 6 senses are significantly lacking the capacity to comprehend cosmological dynamics. Mathematics nothing more than an application of our 6 senses, to make sense of the chaos occurring all around us. Over hundreds and thousands of years, this is the best we have been able to do in terms of calculation and accurate prediction of future occurances. Even the concept of zero is less than 1000 years old. The Romans saw no use in incorporating it into their model, and to this day we wonder at their and other ancient civilisations ability for astonishing accuracy in measurement and prediction. Look at all they, the Egyptians and others managed without using zero in a single calculation. We can also break this down out of our conscious paradigm into nature. Numbers do not exist in nature (that includes the universe). It begs the question of do numbers really exist? Are numbers no more than part of our delusional reality? Who knows, but one thing is for sure, zero certainly doesn't exist anywhere outside of our consciousness. Not even in our own very bodies. How bodies clearly hold a knowledge that hasn't seemed to be passed over to our conscious, aware selves. Even on the smallest scale, without any intervention or guidance from any sort of intelligence, within our cellular membranes. Complex calculations are constantly being carried out. Consider cellular replication for example. In order for a cell to divide successfully, there must be a correct allocation of resources, let's just say primarily energy distribution for the sake of brevity. To split a cell but calculate the energy necessary to simply cary put the force of splitting. It must also calculate how much energy needs to be transfered to the new cell. This calculation must include how much energy for it take to replicate all cellular matter, how much energy is required for both cells to recover from the trauma, and how much energy on top of that, the new cell will require to become mature and begin its own replication. There are multiple complex calculations to be made there, and they then must be combined in to an overall and more complicated calculation again. All of this is done without intelligence and without using numbers ie mathematics. This same process can be observed all the way back to the very first beginning of not just life, but biochemistry in general. So I hope this demonstrates that the universe doesn't exist numerically. There are no rules in the universe. We created rules for our sciences, because if we didn't follow them the sciences would fail at unacceptable percentage of predictions.
So we make rules to overcome the shortcomings while waiting for future technologies or fixes. Mathematics and sciences are little more than a carefully ordered tapestry of rules, with too many exeptions for too many rules. We create rules and ideas to assist the conteived & malfunctioning intangible thing to not have to go to all the trouble of finding something that works better. We are just littered with examples through every field. Like 'zero', or Pi, or "bimdas" (brackets, indicies, multiply, division, addition and subtraction. I find this a good example, for not following this exact order of calculations, a correct answer to equation will nev a result) and thousands of others.
No rules exist in nature, it appears to be that it just is, always will be and always has been.
So in summary, given our restrictions on trying to understand the universe, namely intelligence, our 6 limited senses, our arrogance and our mortality, should we narrow the pursuits our restrictions can make us comfortable with? Thisbwilk lead us nowhere. By abandoning zero as the only accepted scientific approach to the universe, and allowing science to have multiple validating throeries for what is the same problem. The scientific community abhors divergence from dogma and academics are held to ransom with funding or being published, if their ideas are not with acceptable parameters.
But for the sake of this conversation, can we discuss the merits of looking at the big bang without reference to nothing ie zero, but instead +ve and -ve infinity."
submitted by dradrado to astrophysics [link] [comments]


2024.05.22 00:07 AmaturePlantExpert Back again for some validation

I asked this sub awhile back for some advice and you guys overwhelming delivered, the best feedback I’ve ever gotten! Well now I’m back, I’m not sure if I’m being sensitive about my job or if I should leave.
Too make the long story short, I work for my dads (the owner) company, essentially his right hand and my mom (formally HR) retired back in 2022 and is my main source of childcare while I work, I am beyond grateful for what they both do. However I feel my relationship with my dad is deteriorating. For one, I help oversee projects, schedule, and invoicing. My main source of responsibilities is running payroll, benefits, ordering materials, sending out bids, taking off jobs, and handling bills. I’ll also add that I have to handle his email, he never checks it. We are also in survival mode right now as the company owes quite a bit of money to a lot of people, IRS, stock vendors and other taxes. We are a construction labor shop, this industry is pretty unstable at times but the last few years have been steadily declining as work slows up and the owner has not made any changes to overhead even though I’ve tried to point the declining work out to him.
I’ve had my hands full since I came back from mat leave (dec. 2022) literally came back and this man decides to take multiple vacations, take days off left and right leaving me to do everything. I’m human and make mistakes here and there but it seems like since I’ve become a mom I can’t keep organized, I forget things or mess up on payroll. It makes me feel like shit but it doesn’t help that he constantly brings up my “pregnancy brain”. he actually said today in response to me messing something up “you used to be on top of it for yourself and even me but now your pregnancy brain has thrown us for a loop”
I feel like an utter failure, I don’t want to stay here for numerous reasons but shit like this makes me feel like I can’t be successful anywhere else. I didn’t sign up to run a whole company and also make nothing for it. 10 years here and I only make 56k annually, the only way I can apparently make money is sell jobs but that’s just adding another thing to my plate and I don’t care for sales. Am I being irrational or overly sensitive? I just don’t feel accomplished
submitted by AmaturePlantExpert to workingmoms [link] [comments]


2024.05.22 00:07 Dextrophik Oh look another late 20s lonely guy

No idea where this is going but I've got time to kill at work..
As far as I'm feeling at this moment, I think I'm fine. I'm pretty worn down though and wondering how many days off the gym and 10+hr sleep days will get me fresh.
Anyway, I'm a 29 year old dude in Canada. I have a pretty good job in the defense sector, but I'm not great with finances. My hobbies and passions are expensive, and I often overpay for things so I don't have to think about it in the moment.
I live at home, as 2500+ for an apartment eating 60+% of my salary hasn't sounded exactly appealing but its almost time here. I don't think I want to live with my parents this time next year, at 30 years old.
My big issue is not being in a romantic relationship. That fact has always been the driving force behind most of the actions I take to be honest. I'm just realizing it now, so yeah, the ROI doesn't seem worth it.
By actions I mean anything to do with fitness and appearance, the music I listen to, and most the little things I do on any given day, that might challenge me or make me avoid or cover up pain in some way ( little self care habits or things like weed, supplements, nootropics, drugs in general to keep me somewhat functional, mostly by masking some of the pain).
I'll be blunt and objective about my situation, and its this:
29, single since 19
Good looking guy, gotten better looking over time, but short, and my hair is a semi-permanent piece.
I've got self esteem issues for sure, and I can't say I always put off the best energy, being depressed and all.
I avoided, or just flat-out didn't try to find anyone really. I used to just open up tinder and feel a mix of emotions that would just ball up into anxiety or butterflies. Weird mix of excitement resentment and hopelessness.
Last year I decided I was going to make big life changes. Learn a new language (Spanish), learn music in some form (bass guitar), improve my finances, quit some of my bad habits, and find love.
Well the year started off pretty good. Dove into a Spanish learning book, got stuff for my bassguitar thats sat for a decade, started journaling every day (failing to keep up with this).
By mid Feb around Valentines day and my birthday, things had been rocky. A bunch of health scares, a couple of injuries, car was fucking up left and right, started working 10 hours daily (Back to 8 after a month as side gig got kiboshed), some money stuff etc..
I heard about the movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and decided to give that a watch, not knowing what to expect, and it kinda broke something inside me, for the better.
Another shitty thing that happened was I got stopped at the border late January (Can to US), because the dog smelled cannabis in my bag (there was none, but they found something that had residue on it and bam, not allowed in the US). This is funny timing because not two weeks later I matched with this girl that lived in California, and after talking for a bit and me finding out how closely our niche music tastes lined up, and just how beautiful i found her.. Like maybe not everyone's type, kind of gothic, not very active on social media, but something about her... just looked unique and I still think she was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen.
You can judge my.. judgement all you want, and it might be fair. Some people just flip some specific switches in your head and make things light up. No one did that like this... I quickly got familiar with the concept of limerence but even after acknowledging that was probably happening here, I didn't care.
I honestly just over pursued.. I didn't send her a bunch of texts, but I started writing these long love letter things. I honestly can't believe how head over heels and dopey I was being. It lasted for probably 2 months, ending after I started talking with a few other girls, and actually meeting someone a city over at a concert that said she really liked me.
Felt like the longest 2 months of my life, there was a lot and I mean A LOT of pain, and I had no idea that I was capable or susceptible to something like this based off so little. We didn't even voice chat, and we hardly talked about anything other then music.
I just created this compelling fantasy world in my head and I was conflating things like my new desire to leave Canada and eloping with what I was projecting to be the woman of my dreams.
I'll never know where it could have actually went because I could not keep this shit to myself. Around the time this limerent episode started I got this ENORMOUS boost in energy and ambition, like I hadn't felt before. Didn't matter what drugs I was put on or what state of health, being etc I was in. This was bizarrely strong and I actually forgot about my vices. Almost completely, and all of them. In the span of 3 weeks, I had cold stopped THC (2nd time in 14 years), I got off nicotine, I cut my spending in half and adhered to my diet better than I ever had before.. a little too well (24lbs lost in 3 weeks).
It seemed like this daze I was in was like a dopamine geyser from within that had never been found before.
As soon as the deterioration phase of limerence started (the day I found out there was 0 reciprocation), those habits came flying back, starting off with the vape again. Just one disposable cause I wanted to have a moment outside this church for some reason... I felt really compromised, embarrassed, disappointed and a lot of self loathing.
I started doing private vlogs that day too. I found that to be very insightful and good for processing this stuff, but it became emotionally draining and I got tired of hearing and seeing myself pretty fast.
As weird as it is to admit this. I miss living in that simulated romance. It felt like it was driving me to the real thing.. maybe it still will, but I feel my motivation to do so has dropped off after this shit.. Music just sounded better, everything felt deeper, I had a weird but unsustainable sense of purpose. Now everything feels hollow and plasticy..
I'm pretty much past that now, and I don't know how to feel about that. I know what I should feel... GOOD, but I just kind of feel nothing.
submitted by Dextrophik to loneliness [link] [comments]


2024.05.22 00:05 nekkidconfidence AITA for using my own money on the stock market

I (37F) recently read up about the meme stock craze in 2021 (don’t know if I’m allowed to mention the name but begins with G) after watching Dumb Money. I have my regular savings and a side account which I squirrel away a bit of cash into now and then.
I read about another possible short squeeze occurring with a stock beginning with F. I bought in at $1.50 and ended up with 5000 shares since they were so cheap. When it went up to over $3 I told my new-ish partner (38M) and pointed out how much more they were now worth. We had a couple of glasses of wine in the evening and jokingly talked about going on a short holiday somewhere with the profit but it wasn’t at all serious.
Since then it’s dropped, but I understood this was expected as a short squeeze takes time. He asked me today how it was doing and I told him I was holding and that the price had gone down again for now but that within a couple of weeks it would potentially go up again if a squeeze happens. He started yelling that I was irresponsible and that I’d blown ‘our’ chances of a trip away.
Firstly, I never promised him a trip. Secondly, it was my money exclusively (we’ve been dating about 6 months and don’t live together as he has a kid). Thirdly, when I tried to explain how a short squeeze works he kept interrupting and eventually told me to “just leave if you’re going to be so fucking dumb”.
I feel like he’s stepped over a line here. He has a history of debt and I tend to pay for most of our dates since of the two of us I have the bigger income, and he spends most of his cash on child support (apparently, but he also drinks quite a lot and it adds up).
AITA for spending my own money here?! Kinda think I should be able to choose to spend it how I like even if that means I might lose some when investing (it’s money I personally can afford to lose but part of me hopes this still comes through… only now I don’t wanna take him on my trip lol)
submitted by nekkidconfidence to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]


2024.05.22 00:02 RaStaSoulJah- The YouTube Algorithm – An unpopular Truth

One of the biggest frustrations I see people having in this group is with the YouTube Algorithm. They are 110% certain that they aren’t getting any views because the algorithm is broken. Instead of spending time improving their content, they spend most of their time, trying to prove to themselves and everyone else – “The YouTube Algorithm is broken and not working as it should”. Or the classic – “The YouTube algorithm only pushes content from big YouTube Channels”.
Today I wanted to share with you what I’ve learned about the infamous and evil “Algorithm” and how it applies to your YouTube channel. Hopefully it helps give you clarity on the YouTube Algorithm and reframes your thinking when it comes to building a successful YouTube channel. I also hope it helps reduce the frustration and the burn out you may feel because your channel isn’t where you want it to be.
The YouTube Algorithm is an AI-powered recommendation system, which is designed to put the BEST and most engaging content in front of viewers on YouTube. It does this by analyzing large amounts of data that tracks the preferences and habits of viewers. The cool and frustrating thing about the algorithm is that it changes over time. For example, the algorithm used to favor subscriber counts, but it has recently shifted and prioritizes views. I am sure there are other tweaks and shifts that happen often, but this was the most noticeable change.
Here is where it gets frustrating, most new content creators are misled by random bits of information from “YouTube Experts” about how the algorithm works. And when their videos flop on YouTube, the only reason they can come up with is – “The Algorithm is not working correctly.”
The truth is, in order to understand how the algorithm works, you first have to accept one simple fact. An algorithm will always work in favor of a company’s policies, values and mission statement.
Now that we know this, let’s dive a little deeper. YouTube’s approach prioritizes the 4-Rs
  1. REMOVE content that violates its polices.
  2. REDUCE false news.
  3. RAISE UP authoritative sources for news and information.
  4. REWARD trusted creators.
In their creator videos, YouTube says – “YouTube’s recommendation system actually finds videos for viewers, rather than finding viewers for videos” - Put simply, YouTube prioritizes the VIEWER – not the CREATOR! Let me say it another way just for emphasis – Viewers want to see videos THEY WANT TO WATCH, not the videos YOU WANT TO MAKE.
Although the algorithm takes into account several factors when recommending content, it can be split into two main categories
• Viewer Personalization – This includes data about what videos users watch and which ones they ignore.
• Viewer Satisfaction – This measures the performance of a video based on metrics like longer watch time, video shares, likes, comments, subscribes and watch history.
Reading the comments and posts, it seems a lot of people don’t take into consideration the fact that; “The Algorithm” is a term that reflects the behavior and viewing habits of YOUR audience. It’s not some robot deciding if it should show your video to other people or not. It is also very important to remember, because YOUR audience loves YOUR videos, it doesn’t mean other people will.
How to win with the algorithm audience on YouTube.
1). Make the tough decision on how you want to use the YouTube Platform. It doesn’t matter what you decide to do, just always keep in mind each decision has different outcomes, and success is not guaranteed.
a. Do you view YouTube as a place to share your life/experiences and videos on YouTube. This is fine, but you need to remember all art, isn’t fine art. If your art isn’t appealing to the masses, you may get frustrated and burnt-out creating content for people who aren’t interested.
b. Do you view YouTube as a business and an opportunity to make money. This is also fine, but at this point you become a “contracted” employee of YouTube, and it is your responsibility to make sure you adopt their business model and align your content with YouTube’s expectations – Do this and you are more likely to succeed.
2). Understand the metrics and how/where YouTube places your content.
A. YouTube Search – YouTube is a search engine, and it prioritizes your content based on the following
i. Relevance – your videos should have appropriate keywords, titles, tags and descriptions.
ii. Engagement – your videos should have high watch time, likes, and comments.
iii. Quality – Your videos should have quality content, display expertise and trustworthiness.
B. YouTube Homepage – Here is where most viewers start their journey. Here a viewer can see video ads, relevant videos and shorts that a person may be interested in.
C. Recommended Videos – Videos are recommended to users based on their watch history, search history, channel subscriptions, country and time of day/month/year.
D. Trending Videos – Trending aims to share videos that appeal to a large audience. Think viral videos, new music videos or breaking news. – Things that instantly capture a viewer’s attention.
E. Subscriptions and Notifications – Videos are shown to people who have subscribed to your channel and/or are notified of your latest content.
Always remember to succeed at YouTube you have reframe your thinking and use logic and data to drive your decision making and content strategy. Don’t let misinformed “YouTube Experts” influence your decision making. In 2023 YouTube generated 31.5 billion dollars in revenue and reached 2.7 billion active users – How can they do this if their algorithm is broken?
It’s a tough pill to swallow, but greatness is only achieved by setting aside our egos. Stop worrying/arguing about the algorithm, and work on making small improvements and connecting with your audience. Bruce Lee once said – “It is like a finger pointing away to the moon. Don’t concentrate on the finger or you will miss all that heavenly glory.”
Disclaimer – I am not a YouTube expert, but I am an expert in the Information Technology field, and I use data and analytics to make data driven decisions and to craft and tell compelling stories.
submitted by RaStaSoulJah- to NewTubers [link] [comments]


2024.05.22 00:01 ikieneng My fanfiction - episode 4!

My fanfiction - episode 4!
The next part is here! This episode is so long that I had to split it, and today, you're finally getting part 3 of 3.
You can find the previous episodes in the side bar! (Community info page in the app)
DISCLAIMERS (the same ones as before)
The point of this fanfiction is not to be a straight-up continuation of events with the same themes, intensity, and tone. If you go into it with those expectations, you are probably not going to like it. Rather, it’s supposed to be how I wish things went if these events were real life. The resolution you want for a real-life situation isn’t often the right choice for a show, but it can be incredibly beautiful. Think of what you’re about to read to be a separate show then.
Episode 1 of this fanfiction begins after the episode “2:00” (season 2 episode 4), so it replaces the episode “Cake” and the ones that follow it. This fanfiction expects you to have seen the entirety of seasons 1 and 2, so you should watch those first.
I myself am bursting into the story here. The narrator and me are the same. While my character is like 95% real me, don’t take events about my life described here as facts. Some aspects of my life have been changed for the story. In my head, I started writing like an “alternate me” character in 2016, fulfilling a lot of the things that I wish I had in life, adding that to my story. I’m not really from Ukraine. I speak fluent Ukrainian as a foreign language, I started learning it in 2014, and I’ve talked to tons of people from there, but I’m not from Ukraine. I also don’t have as much money as I do in the story. I wish lmao.
If you want to post your own fanfiction, feel free to do so! To get your own post flair for your fanfic, and to appear in the side bar, please message me.

Part 3 (days 3 and 4)

We’d wake up on day three, and still, nothing would be any different - we’re still locked up. We’d both feel really worried not knowing if we’ll have to forfeit our whole plan because we might run out of food and water and take the risky route - calling the police and getting ourselves into a situation where we’d have to be freed by force, which would be so dangerous because the Turners have proven that there’s nothing they’re not prepared to do to us to “get Jericho back”. Leanne would ask me “What do we do if we call the police, and Mrs. Turner comes up here and tries to hurt us?” At first, I’d insist that we start thinking about that when we do run out of food the next day, but she’d insist we should come up with a plan. I’d point at the corner on the edge of the attic facing Spruce Street, the corner that’s to one’s right when coming up into the attic,
https://preview.redd.it/knoz0zwpou1d1.png?width=975&format=png&auto=webp&s=bd1694f292bb546ea45339ebecea7ffacfe33541
and say “Then you’d curl up and hide over there, and I’d take the radio, you’d take the metronome, and I’d sit down in front of you, shielding you, and if she gets in here before the cops do, we’ll defend ourselves. And we’d record everything on my phone. And we should probably hide behind the sofa. Maybe then, she might not notice we’re still up here at first. She’d probably be in a state of panic.” She’d look at me with sad, but touched eyes and just hug me and say thank you. I’d reply “Of course”. After some silence, I’d tell her “If anything happens to me… Please bring me back”.

She’d be touched by that, but say that if she reanimates me, the Church of Lesser Saints will come after ME as well because they’ll believe that I’ll be obligated to join. With a worried smile, I’d say “I know... But they’re probably already gonna do that, right? Because I won’t let them get to you!” We’d both nod with the same half-happy, half-worried expression. “And if things go terribly wrong and you have to bring me back, we can try again!”

I’d ask if I’m getting it right that the “great sins” they think she’s committing are not spending time with the Church and helping another family from the one that was assigned to her. She’d say yes and add that there’s a lot more they hate her for, like her “disobedient and rebellious streak”, disobeying their instructions, putting curses on people, and now, leaving the Marinos.
https://preview.redd.it/4obn4r9uou1d1.png?width=975&format=png&auto=webp&s=1e77adafbde221c320999ba1169adb0a1c6b2b17
After a few seconds of silence (out of shock that this is how the Church of Lesser Saints frames it), I’d be like “If you disobey so many of their instructions, then...”, look her directly in the eyes, and go “Good! Keep on disobeying them! I’m actually kind of stunned that this is how they frame your actions, because that is so manipulative. Wanting to have a life where you don’t have to worry about your every step being watched and controlled, where you can actually freely explore what you believe – not what they tell you to believe, but what YOU believe, where you can do totally normal human things like listen to music, and where you can go wherever you want and make some basic decisions for yourself and work wherever you want, that doesn’t make you...” (doing the “quote-on-quote” with my hands while I say it) “quote-on-quote ‘disobedient’ or ‘rebellious’, it makes you a normal human being. If they forbid every little thing that people do that makes you happy, if you then look for happiness elsewhere, that’s on them. You can’t take every bit of joy away from people and then expect them to just deal with it. You wanting to run away, that’s the logical result of their bullshit. And you didn’t ‘leave’ the Marinos, you were taken. Don’t let them think you’re at fault in any way!” She might have never heard any verbal confirmation before that her feelings about leaving are valid, and this would be so reassuring to her. She’d tell me that whenever she did things like not be there for meals at the Church, skip assemblies, or curse people without permission, she would be brought before May and the rest of the community, get questioned about her behavior, and she’d have to self-flagellate to receive forgiveness.
https://preview.redd.it/roex7c20pu1d1.png?width=975&format=png&auto=webp&s=32cecf94a41a97e66b1c74967cb074ca89321777
I’d go really still and quiet when she mentions the self-flagellation, which she’d then explain is a frequent punishment. That would freaking break my heart... I’d ask her when was the last time she hurt herself, and it was a little less than two weeks ago, before she was forced to leave the Turners. Very carefully and quietly, I’d ask her if it would be okay if she can show me her scars and add “You do NOT have to if you’re not comfortable, PLEASE don’t do it if you’re not”, and after a second, she’d nod and show me her back. My heart would break for her even more seeing her scars, I’d just express how horrible it is that they made her do that… I’d show her some of my cut wounds from when I self-harmed, which I hadn’t done in like three and a half years at that point. I’d want her to know that way that I get the urge, that I really do, but I’d tell her that hurting oneself achieves nothing. All it does is make you feel horrible mentally and physically, and every time you do it, there’s a risk of infection and even death. I’d just tell her I understand while taking her in my arms. I’d ask her to please look me in the eyes and tell me she won’t hurt herself again, and that when she feels like doing it again, to please talk to me first. She’d quietly say “I promise” while looking me in the eyes, and after some longer embraces, we’d both smile a bit, that would make me really happy to hear! I’d ask that when we’re out of here, if we can call a doctor sometime soon and get them to look at her scars to make sure none of them are infected, if she’s comfortable enough, and she’d nod and smile at me a little bit some more.

We’d eat after that. We’d run out of tomato soup that meal, and I’d tell her that when we’re getting out of there, I’d get her all the tomato soup in the world! “We’re gonna fill a whole hotel fridge with tomato soup!” “And with Ben & Jerry’s?”, she’d ask, and I’d say yes and say that we’re probably gonna need more than one fridge. I’d say we’re gonna pick the nicest and most expensive hotel to stay at, an idea that she’d love! “You still think Allentown is a good idea?”, I’d ask her, and she’d think my reasoning from the day before makes sense and say yes. We’d look for the nicest hotel in Allentown online and see that there are “only” three-star hotels in Allentown. Leanne would ask if getting such an expensive place to stay is really okay, and I’d say “Money is not an issue, don’t worry about it” while reaching across her back and like caressing her right shoulder, looking her in the eyes, and smiling. “And besides, let’s spoil you, you fucking deserve it after all this!” We wouldn’t book anything yet because we wouldn’t know when we can get out of there yet, but looking at all those insanely nice hotels would lift our spirits a bit.

After eating the first half of that day’s rations (only two half day’s rations would be left after that…), we’d think that it would probably be a good idea if we started writing the document for the police right now. Writing it can take hours upon hours, and there’s no point in delaying the rescue to write the document after I leave if we can do it right now, so we’d begin right that moment. It would begin something like “My name is Daria Horenko, born July 30, 1999 in Odesa, Ukraine, residing in 501 Pembroke Ave, Philadelphia 19050, Pennsylvania...” (I don’t live there. I have no idea who does. Please leave them alone lmao) “...I sent this statement to my Facebook friend Liam [...] (residing in Tipperary, Ireland, using Facebook as Liam [...]) as a PDF file and told him to call the Philadelphia police and read this statement to them if I don’t come back online and confirm that I’m okay by 10 PM Philadelphia time / 3 PM London, UK time on December 22, 2022. If he is reading this to you, it probably means that there was no sign of life from me by that time, and that I’m not safe, probably kidnapped and locked up by Dorothy Turner, Sean Turner, Julian (I’m not sure about his surname, but I’m referring to Dorothy Turner’s brother - redhead, not very tall, moderately overweight) in the attic of their residence at 9780 Spruce Street, Philadelphia 19139, Pennsylvania”, and then document everything I’ve seen in chronological order and everything that Leanne has told me, with a link to our video and photographic evidence, references to DNA evidence that can probably be found in the hole in the basement if they haven’t covered it up by now, and a statement at the end saying that I’ve written it together with Leanne to make sure that everything is correct. That would take a really long time, hours for sure. But when it’s done, I’d run spell- and grammar checks on it and send it to my printer at home, to be queued for printing when I get home and turn it on. We’d also know that today (December 21) or tomorrow will be the day when we leave one way or another, so I’d schedule a text message to 911 in 30 hours from that moment. The message would say “This is a scheduled message. If you’ve received it, then Leanne Grayson (born October 13, 2001)...” (We only ever learn Leanne’s birth year from the gravestone. October 13 is Nell Tiger Free’s birthday, so October 13, 2001 being Leanne’s birthday is kind of my headcanon)
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“...and me (Daria Horenko, born July 30, 1999) are probably not safe, abducted and locked up against our will by Dorothy Turner, her brother Julian, and Sean Turner in the attic of their house at 9780 Spruce Street, Philadelphia 19139, Pennsylvania or somewhere else on the property. We need help immediately. The Turners should be considered dangerous and very clearly willing to use violence and intimidation. We need help NOW. Details in our prepared statement: [the link]”. Because we’re holding out hope that we won’t have to call the police from inside the attic, the document would include information on what our plan is to get Leanne (and me) out of there as safely as possible and call the police from the taxi, but that if we run out of rations, we won’t have a choice but to call the police while we’re unarmed and while the Turners still have the upper hand.

We would debate whether we should include information about the Church of Lesser Saints right away or tell the police about them later because we know how that sounds, considering that this would hurt the credibility of our testimony,
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but we’d modify the document and include the most important information about them as well, with more believable explanations - how they forced Leanne and other members to self-harm (meaning that current members or those who recently left), where they’re currently operating from in Lancaster,
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that they faked their deaths, that they forced Leanne to leave the Turners, and the necessary lie that they took the real baby, and that Leanne hasn’t seen it since that day and doesn’t know where they’ve taken it. We’d also include names and stuff, and most importantly, reference the baptism tape and say that it shows May and George watching us from the sidewalk outside the church less than three weeks ago, and that piece of evidence would change everything in regards to investigating the Church of Lesser Saints and make the police believe us. We’d add that it’s probably among the other DVDs in the Turners’ living room, and that I’ll try to get it when leaving the building if our original plan is still going to be an option, rip the DVD at home, and add a link to the video file to the document. We’d modify the scheduled text message as well, and we’d charge both phones, mine first because the scheduled message is so important, but it’s an iPhone, so we could charge it to 100% rather quickly and then charge hers. And we’d add that we’d want the police to get Leanne’s things from the Marino estate. All her stuff being there would be further evidence that she was taken suddenly and against her will. We’d also add what number Leanne can be reached at for now with the Samsung Galaxy phone. And then, I’d send the document to Liam on all platforms where I know how to reach him, followed by a message to alert the authorities if I’m not back online confirming that we’re both okay in what’s now probably more like 29 hours, the phone number of the Philadelphia police, and caps at the beginning saying that it’s an actual emergency.

Out of nowhere, I’d ask her if she’s seen “Titanic” lmao, and with her near total isolation growing up, she wouldn’t have seen it. “I’ve only seen movies on TV”. I’d be like “I can show you lots of movies if you want! I got several subscriptions to streaming services, and also a bunch of stuff offline on an external drive at home.”
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Back on talking about “Titanic”, I’d tell her it’s wonderful and so freaking romantic, albeit over-the-top at times for sure and a bit overrated. It has that glossy feeling and some superficial characters to it that all James Cameron movies have, but it’s still really wonderful. After explaining the plot to her (since she’s grown up so isolated), I’d tell her about one scene that I’m thinking about a lot from time to time - near the end of the movie, when old Rose is done telling the researchers her story, she says that she doesn’t even have a picture of Jack, and that has hit me so hard from the first time I’ve seen the movie.
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She has no physical memories of him, she can never see his face again, and she can never show people what he looked like. That just rips my heart. I’d ask Leanne if we can take some pictures together. We’d look pretty horrible because we haven’t been able to shower in days, but we wouldn’t care and take them anyway and really, genuinely smile so hard. I’d send them to her email address (leanne_grayson@icloud.com, that email address is on her resume in the show),
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manually sync my gallery with iCloud, and I’d send them to Liam. I’d ask what phone she got back at the Marinos’ and if she’s got any pictures of herself in her iCloud gallery, but she’d tell me she’s rarely ever taken pictures of herself, only for the resume she applied at the Turners’ for, and I’d be like “Whaaaaat? But you’re so beautiful!”, and she’d smile hard, a bit embarrassed. I’d look her straight in the eyes and say it again and say that I mean it for real, she is so incredibly beautiful! It’s probably so rare that anyone’s ever said that to her in her entire life (her mother definitely didn’t, and given that the Church of Lesser Saints believes that anything that feels good is dangerous,
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it’s rather unlikely that they did), Tobe saying it in “Balloon” might even have been the only time ever…
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I’d then add “Inside AND out!”, and she’d smile some more in a bit of embarrassment and then look me in the eyes and say “You, too, Daria!”, and as you’d expect, I’d smile so hard and even with my eyes!

It would be rather late by then, so we’d eat and listen to some more music together from the Spotify playlist I created for her and talk so much about what we’re hearing.

After dinner, she’d bring the topic up on her own (this is kind of making fun of these fan theories) - she’d tell me that some in the Church of Lesser Saints think she’s the Devil or Lilith because of her rebelliousness, and how she’s inspired doubt in some people in the Church. I’d make such a weirded-out face. After realizing she’s serious, I’d say “If you are the Devil, then hail Satan! Like, seriously, if YOU are what God is threatening will happen if we don’t follow him, then that’s literally the weakest threat I’ve ever heard of. Then God is the villain here. We need more people like you in the world!” Shy as she still is, she’d still be almost embarrassed to hear this (she’s so not used to compliments), and I’d make it clear I’m serious, that I really think she’s fricking wonderful and the sweetest, and that she clearly has a huge heart full of so much love, and that she deserves so much better than what she’s ever experienced! Almost in denial, she’d see in my eyes that I really mean it and just smile and hug me, and then, we’d both smile even more! I’d rub her back a lot in that moment and promise her again that everything will be okay. “I’ll make sure of that!”

After some more music together, knowing that tomorrow will be the day we leave, no matter which plan we’ll go with, we’d make sure we haven’t forgotten anything. Looking around, I’d realize I have to give her my earphones with a cord because the internal mic of my Samsung Galaxy S5 Mini is essentially useless. I’d tell her that when I call her the next day to tell her it’s safe to come downstairs now, she should answer the call, plug in the earphones, and then, it will take a few seconds until I can hear her, but then, it should be fine. We’d set a code phrase that I’ll mention to let her know if the Turners got me and it’s NOT safe to come down. She’d suggest “tomato soup”, and I’d smile and say yes, that’s gonna be our code phrase. “And if it IS safe to come down?”, she’d ask, and I’d suggest “ice cream”.

I’d realize that we should probably find her fresh clothes in the attic and a coat right now, so as I said, it’s not too obvious that she’s been locked up for a long time the second she walks out of the door, because if she’s in dirty clothes or nightwear, with it being obvious that she hasn’t showered in days, and I get her out of there and into a taxi to drive off while I got a gun, it would look as if I was kidnapping her, so we’d find her a nice dress and coat up there, and I’d turn around and close my eyes while she puts it on, and when she’s done, I’d tell her again that she looks amazing! 😊
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And she’d smile and thank me this time, sort of the way she says it to the makeup artist at the street fair in S3E5 “Tiger” in that typical way of hers that’s so adorable for real,
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and she’d look in my direction and say “You look really beautiful, too!”, really shy, before peeking me in the eyes for a moment, and we’d just look at each other for a moment. “Can I have your pictures?”, she’d ask me, and I’d say yeah, open my iPhone, and select ALL pictures of myself in my gallery and send them to her email address, and send her those that are too large via a Google Drive link (iCloud isn’t great for sharing files lol), and then, I’d take her Samsung Galaxy S5 Mini, download them all (which would take a while because that phone is ancient), and set one of the pictures we’ve taken together as her wallpaper, and then set it as my wallpaper on my iPhone as well! 😊

We’d consider if there’s anything else we’ve missed. She’d mention that parts of the floor screech, especially one tile, so when I sneak out, I gotta be careful on the stairs, especially with that one tile.
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After a few seconds, she’d ask me if we wanna book a hotel now, and I’d smile and say sure! “Did you like any hotels in particular, out of the ones we looked at?” She’d say “The one with the big jacuzzi looks great” with big eyes and enthusiasm in her voice, like she does during some of her conversations with Tobe in S3E5 “Tiger”. “You’ve ever been in a jacuzzi?”, I’d ask her, and she’d go “Nooo, but I wanna try!” in the same tone,
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and so, after lying down now, we’d look up which hotel she was talking about and book a two-room suite in that hotel in Allentown for three weeks. I’d add “So we can easily look out for each other, and so you’ll also have some privacy.”, and she’d smile and nod, that consideration would probably mean a lot to her.

We’d then get ready for bed. For the next day, I’d get some better clothes as well and put them on while she’s turned around with her eyes closed. I’d take the last ration of food out of my backpack, put the clothes I just took off at the bottom of it, above Leanne’s Bible (the porcelain baby and card are already in one of the other pockets), and put my phone and the chargers in another pocket. I’d look around and ask her if there’s anything else I should take with me to safeguard, and at first, she’d also look around because she wouldn’t know how to answer right away, but she’d then point at Mrs. Barrington with her face,
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and I’d be like “Well, I think she’s a little too big for my backpack, but I can talk to the police when we’re out of here, maybe we can try to get her!”, and Leanne would nod with a big smile again.

We’d lie down on the mattress and share the covers again. Just like the night before, I’d lie down on the side of the mattress that’s closer to the stairs, in case Dorothy changes her mind and tries to assault Leanne again… On the mattress, she’d suddenly hug me really tight, break into tears, and thank me over and over again, and I’d just hold her tight, say “Of course”, and assure her that everything’s gonna be okay, that we’ll get out of there tomorrow. I’d wipe some of her tears off her face 🥺 On the mattress, we’d just look each other in the eyes and both just smile more and more, and after a minute or two, she’d kiss me on the lips for a tiiiiny moment and then, we’d just smile at each other even harder! She’d say “I’m not supposed to do that” while still smiling just as hard and looking me directly in the eyes! “Says who?”, I’d reply. She goes “My aunts and uncles”, and I’d say “I don’t think they’re a reliable source!”, and we’d kiss each other some more and longer, and both feel each other’s smile on our lips, and peek at each other a few times in between 😊🥰❤️ We’d both put our arms around each other before telling each other good night and before I promise her one more time it’s all going to be okay!
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At some point during the night, she’d wake me up, and when she does, I’d realize I had a nightmare, like, not from my night terrors, and she’d tell me I had a nightmare, that I was sniffling in my sleep, and that I told her two days earlier to wake me up if this happens. Still feeling terrible (the feeling of immediate dread always takes a while to subside for me), I’d thank her. I’d ask what I was saying, and she’d say that I wasn’t speaking English. I’d consider if I should tell her for a moment, but then, I’d take a deep breath, look up for a second, and with a heavy voice, slowly say “What if we try plan A tomorrow, and I fail? I’m scared… I don’t wanna mess this up… I don’t wanna fail you…” And she’d slowly look at me and just say two words: “You haven’t!” I’d look at her and almost laugh a bit out of joy. I’d smile and just cuddle up to her a bit, and she’d do it back. I’d say I’ll try to listen to music for a while to calm down because doing something else makes it much easier for me to zone out of the feeling of dread again. “Why only you?”, she’d ask. “I don’t wanna keep you awake”, I’d say, “You need the sleep”, and she’d say “It’s okay” and just smile a bit, and so, we’d listen to some music together for about half an hour.

I’d tell her that my sleep is so horrible (she’d say she can tell) because I don’t have my meds, and I’m really fricking looking forward to taking them again. Without them, the quality of my sleep is terrible, and it takes so long for me to fall asleep at all if I don’t take them. She’d ask if I’ve taken them for a long time, and I’d say that I haven’t taken these particular meds for long because whatever I take, my body builds up some resistance to them pretty quickly, so after a while, I always have to get new ones, but I’ve taken sleeping meds for years now. “It sounds like they’re really helping you, right?”, she’d ask, and I’d nod and say “Yeah, they really do. I’m also taking antidepressants, and they were an absolute gamechanger for me. It’s okay if I don’t take them for a few days because they don’t work in the moment, but they like rewire your brain over time, and they’re the best thing that’s ever happened to my mental health. Before I started taking them, it was so hard for me to avoid bad thoughts or resist them, like, it was hell, but ever since then, it got sooo much easier, and not letting things get to me or not letting bad things really take over me is just so much easier now.” After a while, I’d say “I was at a psychiatric clinic voluntarily for six months, but I also had nowhere else to go, and the doctors and employees really abused their power. They only intervened when there was physical violence, they didn’t intervene in any other conflicts, so because of them, the patients constantly bullied each other. My doctor switched to another department while I was there, so I got a new one, and the new one wasn’t perfect, but at least, she cared. I got really lucky to get a place at a living group for mentally ill people, which was when I could finally leave. But honestly, all my experiences with mental health professionals since then have been better. I went to a different clinic for four or five days voluntarily in 2019, and even they were far better. “That sounds scary…”, she’d say. I’d reply “It was. But things got much better after that. I had lots of setbacks, like, you know, but if you get help, it’s always better.”

After the current song’s over, we’d lie down to try and sleep again. We’d smile at each other again in bed, and I’d give her a short-ish kiss before saying good night, and we’d both smile even harder after that 😁 And we would fall asleep for good after a while (it would still take me longer than her).

In the morning, Leanne would wake me up again. She’d show me that the door is unlocked and open by a little bit now (they’re “letting” her out for a few hours…),
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and we’d both just embrace and chuckle in huge joy, as we can go with plan A now, the less risky one! We’d remember to quiet down after a few seconds and whisper from then on out. I’d go to the toilet roll, take eight pieces, rip them into two bands of four pieces each, and roll each of them up into a little bunch. I’d give them to her and tell her to put them into the wall pieces of the door when she gets out (so it looks like the door is closed while it can’t actually lock) and give me an audible signal when the third floor is clear, so I’ll get out with my backpack, take out the toilet paper, and hide in her room.
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“Is there anything you want me to get from there?”, I’d ask. “No. Everything is here or at the Marinos’.” I’d go “Okay” and move on - since I’m almost definitely unable to come down to the second floor right away (I’m using American English in all of these episodes. “First floor” in American English = “ground floor” in British English; “Second floor” in American English = “first floor” in British English; “Third floor” in American English = “second floor” in British English, etc.), she’d give me a signal when coming back upstairs. We’d agree that when she comes back upstairs, if it’s safe to go to the second floor, she’d shout something, maybe in conversation, maybe some sort of cry, doesn’t matter, and if not, she’d kick something. She’d be locked upstairs again after that, so I’ll have to tell when to get further downstairs myself, which I’d do as soon as I’ve heard absolutely no sounds from inside the house for at least a few minutes. On the first floor, I’d get the DVD from March 11, 2001, and if the baptism tape isn’t clearly labeled among the tapes, I’d unplug the DVD player from the TV, turn on the player, open the DVD slot, and if the tape isn’t in there, I’d take all unlabeled tapes. I’d then listen in on the basement door for a few seconds, and if I hear no sounds from down there, I’d quietly open the basement door and go downstairs, and if no one’s there, I’d get out through the side entrance down there, out through the back gate, walk back to Spruce Street, drive my bike home, take a shower, watch the tape from March 11, 2011 like she told me I could, hide it somewhere at home, print out the document for the police, take it with me in an envelope, print out a second version of it to give to the taxi driver, so I can say “If I’m not back in an hour, please call the police for me and read this to them”. I’d then call a taxi (a taxi with a large trunk whose driver is allowed to drive to Allentown and back), load my gun, and leave for the Turners’ and get Leanne.

We’d see that Liam has replied by now. Of course, he’d be super worried, but he’s got our backs for the plan, and that would be really reassuring. We’d look each other in the eyes, and then, I’d hug her sooo tight for several seconds, and we’d have one loooong kiss (hoping it’s not the last time we see each other…) before she goes downstairs while looking back at me on the way before putting the toilet paper in the door. I’d then put on my backpack. Once Leanne loudly shouts “Mister Turner?”, that would be my signal, and I’d hide in her room for about 45 minutes before she’s “let” back upstairs and shouts “You can lock me in now, Mrs. Turner”,
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which is when I’d sneak into the storage/guest room and wait. It would take like five hours until I hear nothing for a while, which is when I’d sneak onto the first floor, look around to make extra sure no one’s there, and go to the living room. I’d get the tape from March 11, 2011, and the baptism tape would be among the labeled DVDs, and I’d put it into the box of the March 11, 2011 tape (I’d put the original DVD loose in there and use the spot inside the box for the baptism tape because it’s probably more important. I then wouldn’t hear anything from the basement, so I’d slowly and quietly go down there. No one would be there, so I’d leave as planned and go home and take a shower. I’d watch the March 11, 2011 DVD. I’d be surprised to see the interaction between Leanne and Dorothy for sure, but sort of knowing her, I wouldn’t think anything bad of it. I’d actually get it because of my past celebrity crushes (which I know isn’t what she was feeling for Dorothy) and the desire to meet them, especially with Blanche. I’d get why Leanne wouldn’t want the police to see it, it would look bad for her. I’d wrap up the DVD in a thick piece of paper and tape it to the back of my closet, between the closet and the wall. I’d burn the piece of paper in the DVD case in my bathtub with a bucket of water next to me just in case. I’d test if the DVD of the baptism tape still works (it does), rip it, upload the video file to Google Drive, add it to the document for the police, cancel my printing queue, print the document (two versions of it. The one for the taxi driver would just have a short introduction at the beginning, like, that I’m the person who ordered the taxi), order the taxi, pack my things for the next couple of weeks and anything that Leanne might need, so I’d include any clothes that I think could fit her, and go to the taxi. I’d tell the driver to get me one block away from 9780 Spruce Street (which isn’t actually a real address, by the way) and wait there for me. Before leaving for the Turner house, I’d give him the envelope with his version of the letter for the police and tell him what I said I would tell him. I’d then get my backpack with the gun in it from my luggage in the trunk, and walk to the Turners’ house.

I have already "written" so much more in my head, but I've now reached the end of what I've actually written down, so it will take longer until the next episode is out now! Hope you've enjooooyed this one!
submitted by ikieneng to teamleanne [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 23:56 MLial Feeling off. It would be nice to meet some people who like to voice call.

It's been a long time since I had anyone I was close with. Lost a lot of people I loved and maybe even that feeling altogether too. Recently I've been pouring all my time into writing in the hopes that it will carry legacy and all that. Never planned or wanted to be a writer but I've been doing it for ten years now so there's that I suppose. Got pretty good I might add. Wrote a few poems recently (Not normally my thing). I'm just feeling pretty weird recently. Not my normal self maybe. Feel like I deserve something more than this but not sure. Feel pretty isolated. It would be nice to meet some people and I prefer voice calls rather than messaging, it's just better.
Besides being a writer, I'm a pretty creative person. I enjoy art, music of many different kinds, history, dreams. I also like to collect stuff, mainly historical weapons and some figures from when I was young. I'm very open as well. I also don't mind talking with people who don't share my interests. I find that often I get along with people that are my opposite anyway. Really I just want to connect with someone again, something even slightly meaningful would be good for my life I think, cause right now the only thing I love is me. And that's good. But it's hard to explain. As I said I feel weird. If you read this far you are something special so I appreciate that. If you would like to call please message with a bit about yourself like I did. I will most likely ignore short/low effort messages or if it seems like you just read the title and not the actual post because a lot of people seem to do that. Thanks!
submitted by MLial to MakeNewFriendsHere [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 23:52 daughterphoenix How to deal with extreme self-sabotage?

Sorry for the long post, but it feels like I'm constantly battling myself at every turn and it's getting so exhausting. I self-sabotage so much. It could be a neurodivergence thing, but I suspect it's more of a trauma thing. After decades of colleagues, parents, partners etc. hammering in a sense of worthlessness, I've started doing it to myself; the more I build myself up and work towards what I want in life, the harder I crash, and I don't know what to do about it anymore. It's like I'm trying to maintain equilibrium when I want to be doing so much more. Could really use anyone's help finding a solution so I can move on with my life.
I went back to school to get my degree so I could move on to a Master's, just to get overwhelmed and bail in the last month of the program, and now I have to do the senior project over before I can apply for grad school. I've gotten a lot better about this now that I live alone, but when I'm feeling super uncertain about the future I spend money like it's infinite, telling myself I'm "investing in myself" or some bs, then get really depressed because I know I just screwed over my long-term goals for a short-term passion project. I know I know better, but I do it anyway! My justifications make perfect sense to me at the time!
I can't trust my own judgment around other people, either. Whenever I start to feel something positive about a person — platonically, romantically, anything — spending time with them begins to unsettle me and I have to force myself not to bail. And sometimes I manage to stick it out and and start to trust them, only for them to do something to confirm that I should never have bothered.
What's more, I was supposed to hold my first paid workshop this Thursday, but I have to bail because the time I should have been planning it, I was dealing with this:
A well-respected guy at my gym tried to stir up drama between my friend and me by trying to date her, realizing we're friends, and then secretly trying to start a relationship with me too. He spent six months training me for a rank test. I considered him a friend who wanted to see me win, so it really rattled me and made me feel manipulated. I've had so many bad experiences with abusive men pretending to like me just to get close enough to do damage, but I've never had one try to use me to hurt someone else before. To protect myself I've learned to always be ready to introduce a man to consequences, and to never let them see me upset. This time I was doing it to protect a friend, and I may have gone overboard. I publicly shamed him pretty bad. No one's seen or heard from him in a week. I consider this gym to be my only safe space outside of my own home, and I feel like in outing that guy the way I did, I've severed more ties than just the three of us involved. So, I spent the last week and a half ruminating when I should have been planning my workshop and how to make the money I need to achieve my actual goals.
I've been in therapy for five years, but every time I commit to work on self-sabotage it just takes a different form. If not with relationships, with money; if not money, my career, and on and on it goes. I just wrote this long-ass post at my work desk because I was staring at a blank screen instead of managing a deadline. It feels like I should be able to "just do it," but I'm so overwhelmed constantly, and the more I try to push push push and do the thing, the harder I end up screwing myself. Does anyone know how to overcome something like this?
submitted by daughterphoenix to CPTSD [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 23:49 TwoProfessional4607 I’m insanely obsessed with my English teacher, and iv done despicable things

Lol, I thought this would be funny to write about as a first silly little post as it is the most interesting thing in my life. (Don’t mind any typos)
First of all, to anyone who wants to tell me to stop or get over it or give me any valid reasonable and rational advice,I will not listen so don’t bother.
As these stories go, I 15(f) in love with English teacher 26(f). I’m obsessed with her, and have been for almost msot 2 years, it would have been longer if she had come into my life sooner.
I’m not a love at first sight person, so it took a while for it to come about. And iv always had problems with getting violently obsessed with things, I believe it’s some kind of coping mechanism, you know? If I don’t have something to live for then I fall in love with something, subconsciously of course. First it was cartoon characters then celebrity’s and the for the first time a real person who I know in real life! (Except she’s my teacher and she’s 26) but also the first woman iv ever fallen for (iv always known Im pan so it wasn’t a shock really). I think another HUGE reason I love her is because I don’t have a mother, she was abusive, druggy, alcoholic yadi-yadi-yada, and so I don’t live with her and I don’t like her and she isn’t there for me, and so I meet a kind female adult who I look up to? Obviously I get attached and I see her as a mother figure. I really do, I want to be just like her, I want to make her proud, I seek her validation, i want to fuck her. You know, regular motherly things!
The first day I met her, first day of year 10. From the second she walked into the class I felt her energy and her vibes and I had that feeling where you instantly like someone and want to be friends with them and think they are super cool. Now, she is not hot, like Obviously to me me right now in this moment she’s the most beautiful and pretty person iv ever seen she’s so cute and hot and all that, but Obviously that’s because I’m obsessed with her everything about her is great, but she’s the kind of ugly that when she first walked into the class people snickered.
She has a rash on her chin, a noticeable moustache, she looks at least 30 despite being much younger, her eyes are creepy looking and small, her skin is really red and dry and way too textured, she does weird ugly facial expressions, she has a big nose, her hair is never brushed and always greasy, she has really small eyelashes blah blah blah.. (she obviously has some really nice features as well, but I’m trying to prove i don’t like her for her looks)
Now In her defence I think they were laughing because she has the hugest ass iv seen in my entire life, not cuz of her face. (She wears really tight leggings everyday) But, she is overweight and a lot of people bring her down cuz of it but that has nothing to do with any of it for me obviously, and I obviously didn’t laugh when she walked in.
The point is, I instantly liked her and her personality, she has that school mum vibe, she’s witty she’s confident she’s loud, she’s funny, she’s so weird (like she does and says the weirdest stuff, she’ll start dancing out of no where with no warning, she shortens words all the time and then says them three times like: “fab fab fab” she has just the weirdest tendencies and mannerisms it’s insane), shes always so exited and jolly, she’s like a ball of sunshine yet at the same time she’s so sassy and passive aggressive, when I’m older I wanna be just like her you know!
And that’s how I felt for a long time, I would just enjoy her lessons because of the energy and vibes she’d bring! She makes everything so much fun just by being there, she’s also a drama teacher so she’s great at getting a crowd going and stuff. But it seemed no one else liked her, they either fat shamed her, or said she was a bitch, or found her annoying.
They aren’t wrong she is all of those things, but she’s only a bitch to you if you don’t respect her and then she’s passive aggressive and makes your time in her class hell, and as her favourite student who kissed her ass everyday it was fun for me to watch people get roasted by her and never have to worry about it. She is annoying to a lot of people because she hypes everyone up, and she’s loud and obnoxious and confident, she laughs at her own jokes and she’s giggly and she does stupid accents, she’s the walking talking definition of “QUIRKY” and so 15 year olds find her incredibly cringey and jarring. But as an immature individual my self I found her energy like something I have never seen anyone have so i from the first day thought she was my favourite teacher ever!
I often take the role of like comic relief when it comes to my friends so I often make the joke myself, and once I felt this admiration for my English teacher, and this giddy happy feeling in me when I saw her, I thought it would be a great idea to pretend/ hint to having a crush on her to my friends as a joke so they can make fun of me. It was small things like “oh my english teacher! … oh.. I liiiiikkkee herrrrrrrr~!” Id day when people mention her, no one caught onto the joke for a couple months until one day, after a holiday I had dyed my hair and she walked past me and she complimented it, I thanked her and INSTANTLY MY HEART WAS POUNDING AND I GOT ALL GIGGLING, my friend was next to me and found it funny obviously. And then the more I went to her lessons I couldn’t stop getting all sweaty and nervous around her, and every time she’d do something cute, like squeal when she’s frustrated and make weird noises or do a fake accent, or tell a joke I’d feel so unbelievably happy, and I couldn’t stop talking and thinking about her, but Eveytime I’d think about her or look at her id get a huge ick of like.. but ewww she’s so not hot! I can NOT be in love with THAT.
By summer I was still feeling this Same way, one day she wore a dress and like the dopey idiot she is, she lifted her leg and from where I sat I saw her panties. I WAS DISGUSTED, and looked away. And then looked back.. but then looked away.. and then looked back.. and then looked away.. (and did it a couple more times) but I felt sick in my stomach the whole time! It was not a hot thing at the time.
Then the year ends and it’s the summer holiday, (now up until this point I was quite caught up with my David walliams obsession. yes the 56 year old.. and so I didn’t really care about her all that much. On the first day back, before school started I went to a birthday party and I saw her walking outside of the school, when I saw her my heat was beating so fast, i hadn’t seen her in 6 weeks and I was not expecting to see her then, I said hi to her and i couldn’t stop thinking about that moment so intensely, and every thought I had about her being ugly didn’t matter to me, it’s not like I forgot about it, I know what she looks like, but I just think everything about her is so beautiful, it’s part of her and so its perfect.
That feeling got worse and worse as the year went by, every time i see her I shake, i sweat, I have panic attack like symptoms, but I feel so happy, like manic, I am overwhelmed, I want to punch things, I want to scream.
Then we get to the part where to silence this obsession I did regrettable and wierd things that she will never know about, some of the despicable things iv done in “the name of love” for her include:
Eating her hair Licking her spit of the table Kissing her chair when she leaves the room Following her around school Drawing her Writing poems about her Writing songs about her Making edits of her Taking photos of her Recording her voice when she talks to me Stealing her trash Licking her pens Making AI chat bots with her personality Making a bingo game about her (that one is just funny, and all my friends played it too, during her lessons lol)
And many other things I won’t mention. Obviously I’m not proud of any of this, and I didn’t really need to do it, some of it I did “as a joke” for my friends, some of them I did just because I could.. but the recording her voice one is essential! Anytime we’d have a heart felt convo I’d record it so I can listen to it if I ever loose the will to live (surprisingly frequently).
Now our relationship as student and teacher was/is very good.
We’ve had some lovely moments, she told me she cared about me outside of the classroom.
A personal favourite of mine: One time she was marking my work and it was just us in the classroom and I rested my head on her shoulder as she was going through it with me, and she looked down at me and she smiled and then we stayed like that for ages while she marked my work.
All my friends said I was delusional and that she probably hates me, but she has a huge ego and i believe she likes to keep me around to give it a boost every now and then.
I wore a matching outfit with her once (on accident) and she was very happy about it
Anytime I’d ask her what I can do to improve my grade she’s say to me “oh no! But you’re doing really well! I thought you did great!”
She’d never get mad at me or shout at me for anything, if we are doing a one between two activity she’d give me the only extra sheet in the class
I asked her to sit at the front to her because I “concentrate better at the front” (i only asked cuz i wanted to sit closer to her) she gave me a sly smirk and then the next lesson she moved me to the back of the class, and also moved her self to the back of the class.
We took a selfie together and the whole time she was giggling, I gave her a Christmas card, she lets me follow her around the school, she gave my friends dirty looks when they were being mean to me
I sent her stupid emails of pictures of capybaras (it was an inside joke between us) and she responded with a way to enthusiastic response for such a simple image lol!
I sand “you belong with me” by TS and she stood in the crown and when it got to the “you belong with me” bit I pointed at her and she pointed back! Singing the words back to me
Oh, and let us not forget the amount of eye contact. I never look people in the eye, one of my first exes I barely ever looked into their eyes all the time I knew them, I just suck at eye contact. Until I met her, since I’m so insecure about her forgetting me or loosing me or something I often stare at her when she’s teaching to make sure that she doesn’t forget me. And some how in the last couple of months she stares at me as well.
Anytime she tells a joke she looks straight at me to see how I respond (always with giggles even when it’s the lamest thing iv ever heard. It’s often not funny at all.) and the entire time shes teaching the lessons I will stare at her. IN HER EYES. Like, I’ll often smile calmly, but if she hasn’t looked at me in like 4 minutes then I’ll stare deeper, but she usually looks into my eyes and hold it for a while sometimes she’ll even smile at me and then stutter and forget what she’s saying before looking away and continuing. She’ll stare deeply into my eyes, throughout the lesson, and I also always catch her looking at me first.
Once she was helping me with my work, she got really close to me, and she stared into my eyes and then I see her getting small glances at my lips (with this one I may be a little delusional) she leaned in and she kept getting confused. Like, she yaps a lot, and a lot very loudly. So it was odd for her to be standing there her arm touching mine talking to me and being like “…. Um-.. heh-.. where was i..” and she flicks through my paper and then looks back at me and goes silent and then swallows and then looks down and then flips through it again and then says something small and short followed by more silence.
I also have a theory shes on drugs, for many reasons but one time I needed her to take a photo of my book, and she was acting so weird, tired but like really like dizzy and loopy and breathless. And she went to take a photo of my book, and got behind me and she leaned into my book, and I felt her heavy loud breath on my neck as her stray hairs were tickling the side of my face and her shoulder was touching my back, she she just stood there and stared at my book for ages until i was like “um so.. you can.. take a photo or something..” and then she slowly did it hahahaha!
Obviously it’s now exam time and so school is basically over and I have no more lessons, so I didn’t go into depth about how much she means to me as a person but to sum it up into one sentence; I would want to seriously kill my self with out her in my life.
And so the thing I had been fearing for so long, the last English lesson, the last time seeing my dear beloved. Well obviously it’s life or death so I have to tell her how I feel and get her to stay in contact with me.
The last lesson ends I go up to her after a morning of: pissing my self, shitting my self, throwing up in my mouth, constantly putting on perfume, checking my hair and chewing the mintiest of gums. And I start my speech, I won’t go into it but I told her how I felt about her (minus the being in love bit I played it off as platonic duh, im not fully stupid).
I told her that she means so much to me, and she’s (one of) my favourite people in the world (that’s a white lie she’s my only favourite) I can’t go on with out her, I need her, iv felt this way since the first lesson, your so fun, you mean so much to me! I cant loose you, I don’t know what I would do with out you!!!!
I cried in her arms as she hugged me! And i didnt even need to ask she suggested we could stay in contact, in-fact all i had said was “I’ll miss you so much :(“ and she already suggested we stay in contact, but Obviosuly I still did the whole speech cuz at some point she needed to know. Her response was basically that she already knew, but she was very pleased to hear it, and everything is going to be perfectly okay.
She said we can stay in contact (through email, cuz apparently there is a “legal thing unfortunately” stopping her from giving me her number (yes I did ask for her number, but in a total no homo way.)
She said I can talk to her anytime about anything as much as I like, and that’s good enough for me!
I also gave her a drawing I did of her and me together which was cute, her response to that was “oh very cool! she walks over. she takes it in her hands, very excited to see it. This really throws her confidence off, she’s really not expecting this. OH THIS IS AMAIZING! her voice cracks THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH! this is lovely! thank you, this is soo good! oh-muh-gud it’s SO good! oww I love it! thank you.. I’m wearing the same top as well, how fun~.. HOW FUN!!!! how fun!! … she takes it and puts it in her bag i will prop this up, on my desk! wicked wicked awesome!” (I recorded her reaction so that’s how you know it’s word for word)
In conclusion, im creepily obsessed and its a problem, but I don’t really regret anything cuz it’s all gotten me to this point where I can talk to her when ever I want and that’s all I could ever ask her. Yes I want to fuck her, but that’s not important to me I just need her in my life, she’s my world she’s my reason of living, and I’m so happy things are this way! I’m doing my exams now so I get to see her everyday when I come into school (by see her I mean wait outside the staff room so I can catch a glimpse of her knee). I’m also glad I’m not in her lessons anymore cuz I’d always get so twitchy around her, anytime she’d be near me and I’d be trying my best not to lunge at her, when I see her my mouth waters I just wanna grab her and kiss her all over! Eeek! She’s adorableeeee!
I love herrrrr ❤️❤️❤️
submitted by TwoProfessional4607 to confessions [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 23:49 Severe_Staff_3563 Boyfriend wants to split costs to the dollar.

My boyfriend (21m) and I (23m) have been dating for 7 months. At first when he wanted to split dinner and things I wasn’t too bothered as we were new to dating and everything (even though I’d still buy him meals and coffee because I don’t care that much about spending money on him). We make about the same per year but he gets paychecks and I get cash each shift as I’m a server. I have no savings and no support while he lives at home, has thousands in savings, and has support from his parents. We’ve talked about living together and marriage and everything but one thing we haven’t solved is finances.
We’re currently on a 2 week vacation abroad and we’ve had multiple fights over him spending a few dollars more than me on something and then he is relentless about me buying him a coffee to make up for it or pay him back the $5. He’s even said if we moved in together that he’d want to split everything 50/50 (he will likely be making a lot more than me at that point) including picking up a gallon of milk and having me venmo him $1.50 for it. He’s never had a relationship before meanwhile I left one that was 3 years of living together and 4 years of dating and neither of us were very anal about spending and so we just kinda bounced back and forth on who paid what unless one of us felt slighted. I offered that solution on this trip and we were doing pretty good until he said he felt short changed by spending $5 more on dinner than he should have.
It’s so frustrating because I love him so much and want to do fun things and be happy but then half way through we start talking about who spent what to the cent and it drives me up a wall. I’ve tried my hardest to express my feelings and how upsetting it is to me that he doesn’t trust I’m not a leach or trying to take his money and that it frustrates me to no end that he gets so triggered over each dollar but he just doesn’t listen then 5 minutes later asks me to send money again. Am I being ridiculous? Does anyone have any advice?
submitted by Severe_Staff_3563 to gayrelationships [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 23:44 GeinusOtaku i feel so depressed right now im stressed out i dont know what to do

I'm barely going to have enough money to eat, stuck paying expensive interest for a payday loan until next February, got screwed over by my father who owes me at least 2000 dollars which made me try to gamble more and make small profits to make money from, im probably gonna have only 20 dollars for food for the next 2 weeks, and i literally haven't told anyone about my gambling addiction im too ashamed except for my father but he used me and fucked me over cause he's a piece of shit. and yes my dad is a scam artist which sucks as well. I feel like shit, like a loser. I'll have enough for rent this week but i owe 240 dollars to moneylion by next week and I'm going to be short until my next paycheck. i hope they wont charge me cause its an instacash advance not a loan. i dont know what to do. i feel lost. I've been keeping this to myself man. how do i survive for the next two weeks?
submitted by GeinusOtaku to problemgambling [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 23:42 DrBlackJack21 Of Men and Ghost Ships, Book 1: Chapter 21

Chapter 1

Concept art for
Sybil
Of Men and Ghost Ships, Book 1: Chapter 21
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As Carter walked onto the bridge, he was surprised that only the girl was present, but he decided to shrug it off. Maybe they were having fun observing their new toy ant colony or whatever the vixen would call the cockroach equivalent. Instead, he spoke to the Sybil who was present. "Well, now that everyone's settled in, so to speak, how do we go about unloading them?"
Instead of adjusting her glasses and launching into an analytical assessment as he expected, the girl looked at Carter with a raised eyebrow. "You want to get rid of them so soon? After being stuck with us for the last few weeks, I figured you'd be with them, enjoying some human company."
Carter shrugged. "This may surprise you, but despite seeking out the glamorous lifestyle of a solo cargo hauler, I'm not much of a people person. I'm not saying I'm a huge fan of empty halls and dust-filled rooms, but I'm not looking into making several dozen new friends, either."
The girl shrugged. "As you prefer, though these may very well be the last people you'll have a chance to get to know."
When Carter didn't say anything, she continued. "Well, unloading them isn't as easy as flying to a space station and dropping them off. It may have been a while, but I'm sure the local governments still have at least some record of all our pirate activity over the years. It might be better to wait until we come across a cargoship of some kind and drop them off there."
Carter laughed. "Yeah, I'm sure any captain would be delighted to take on a whole extra crew's worth of mouths to feed when they have little to offer in return. Not to mention the difficulty of even getting someone to stay and listen long enough to ask. Maybe the new guys never heard of you, but almost anyone who's been in the game long enough to become a captain will know of the stories and rumors about the Sybil. As soon as we show up, any sane captain will either run or shoot first and ask questions later!"
The girl smiled, though this smile would probably be more at home on the vixen's face. "Yes, that has been our general experience as well. So what is it you suggest, Captain?"
Carter stopped and thought about it a moment. "Well, you need to hunt ships to repair and maintain yourself anyway, right? If we take one in good enough condition, we could just give it to them and let them fly off on their own..."
The girl looked bemused. "Quite generous of you to just let them have an entire ship just like that."
Carter shrugged. "Listen, I'm not saying we give them a battleship or some state-of-the-art freighter, but pirates tend to convert anything they can get their hands on into some sort of fighting vessel, whether it's in good shape or a junker. We can probably find some old, beaten-down freighter that's not worth the resources to consume and let them have that. It won't be glorious, but it should get them to a nearby colony or station, and they can figure it out from there."
Now, the girl seemed inscrutable. "So, you want us to become pirate hunters now? Like some sort of do-gooders from a children's cartoon?"
Carter shook his head, then stopped and thought about it. "No... Well, not quite, anyway. Listen, I'm not looking to take on any more than we can chew, and I'm definitely not interested in risking life and limb for a bunch of people I've never met, but this way, we can satisfy everyone's needs and not take it out on a bunch of people who are just trying to get by same as us. It'll get you the resources you need, get the pirate the fight he craves, and let the vixen torment lowlifes to her heart's content. It's what we call a win-win...win."
The girl looked bemused again. "The pirate and...vixen..?"
Carter sighed and rolled his eyes. "Hey, I gotta call you all something other than Sybil. You might all share one mind and memory, but you're all very different people to me. What did you want me to do? Call you all Sybil? That would get confusing real quick!"
The girl laughed. "I suppose, given your... limited perception, that makes sense. So, what's your little nickname for this version of me?"
Carter wondered briefly if he was talking to the vixen in disguise, but despite her choice of words, it lacked the edge or condescension she usually had. Instead, he decided to just answer. "The girl, I suppose."
This time, the girl looked mildly offended. "'The girl?' Really? I'm almost surprised you didn't choose something really witty like four eyes or bookworm!"
Carter grinned. "I didn't know you liked books!"
It was the girl's turn to roll her eyes. "Not the point!"
Carter decided to take pity on her. "Well, what would you like me to call you then?"
That seemed to stump the girl. "What? Do you want me to come up with a name for myself? I already have one. I'm Sybil!"
Back where he started, Charter shrugged again. "Hey, that's fine. I respect that. But given my 'limited perception,' I still have to differentiate you somehow. I can just stick with the girl, pirate, and vixen if you prefer."
The girl shook her head. "No...I'll think about it..."
Carter grinned. "That's all I ask! For now, anyway. And while you do that, I'll go enjoy some 'human company' and have a word with our guests about what we're gonna do with them. Maybe they'll have an idea or two to offer."
-
Alen had just finished eating and was trying to think of some way to pass the time that didn't involve exercising, eating, or sleeping, which seemed to be the only three things available for the crew when Captain Carter walked into the mess hall. He looked around for a bit, then upon seeing Erik, Vanessa, and Alen, who'd taken to eating together, he seemed to brighten slightly and approach the table.
Unsure of what the Captain would want but nonetheless curious, Alen found himself interested, but after Carter laid out his plan, Alen was suddenly less interested. "You want to pick a fight with a bunch of pirates to get us a ship? Are you insane? There's got to be some backwater colony you can drop us off at!"
The Captain shrugged. "Any colony backwater enough to not have records on this ship or be a threat to us is gonna be too small to handle your crew being suddenly dumped on them without notice. Besides, this way, you all can sell the ship, and you won't be starting from nothing!"
Alen shook his head. "We won't be able to sell anything if you get us killed before you unload us! This just sounds like suicide the hard way!"
The Captain didn't seem dissuaded. "Listen, this ship has been feared for hundreds of years for a reason. We were running on fumes in that last fight and still gave them a run for their money. Next time, we won't be on the back foot. I think we'll have that ship for you sooner rather than later!"
Alen shook his head. This guy had clearly lost his mind.
Of course, that was when Erik decided to offer his two cents. "Will we be able to have any fun, or would you be doing all the fighting?"
Alen fought the urge to slam his forehead into the table. Of course, the viking alien wanted to fight. Carter seemed thoughtful. "Well, if we take any ship intact enough to give to you all, it'll probably have to be cleared out the hard way, so I imagine you'd get to get your hands a little dirty."
Erik laughed and slapped the table. "I LIKE this plan!"
Commander Reid, who'd been walking past, looked interested in their discussion. "What's this about a fight?"
Erik grinned at the smaller man. "The Captain here wants to capture a pirate ship to give to us! But we'll have to clear the decks once the Sybil has disabled it!"
The commander took a seat at their table. "What kind of weaponry and support can you give us? What kind of a ship are we talking about? What's the crew compliment?"
Alen felt the last shreds of hope fading. This was not what he'd signed up for. When he'd managed to secure an officer position aboard the Trader's Vigilance, he'd thought he'd lucked into a nice, steady gig that would give him the experience and training he'd need to one day be captain of his own trading vessel. However, instead, he'd gotten a ship full of pirate-hunting lunatics, recruited an insane alien whose whole definition of entertainment seemed to begin and end with pirate hunting, and ended up aboard a pirate-hunting ghost ship. He was in a giant floating insane asylum and surrounded by madmen. He could only hope his family would be able to find his life insurance policy and get some use out of it...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well, sounds like almost all of the characters have gotten to know each other. Now to see how well they all get along!
My
Wiki has all my chapters and stories, including the short series and stories that I write for an occasional change of pace or style!
As a reminder, "Of Men and Dragons" Books 1 and 2 are available to purchase in e-book or physical form. (Both softcover and hardcovers are available!) Book 3 is almost done being edited, so I'll just have to get the cover art and formatting done, and it will be available to purchase as well! Hopefully, in no more than a month or two! (Barring more Amazon drama like last time... fingers crossed!)
OMAD Book 1: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09NCPP3PP
OMAD Book 2: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CQ7FQ1ZJ
submitted by DrBlackJack21 to HFY [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 23:34 nervousnellyyy_ I tried something out of desperation...

I have had severe kp for a long time. I don't remember exactly when I developed it but it is so annoying and has made me very insecure to the point were it is effecting the way I live my life. I never wear shorts and I avoided sports in school that would force me to show my legs. I'm African American and my skin is pretty light so the spots are very noticeable. I have it on my legs and arms, but the ones on my arms don't really bother me that much because they are very faint. The ones on my legs however are the death of me. I have spent hundreds of dollars on skincare to get rid of the spots and nothing has worked. Amalactin, Gold Bond Rough and Bumpy, Touch, Paula's Choice etc. all of them help smooth out the bumps but not the spots. My skin is to the point were it is completely smooth but the spots have not changed which was the part that actually bothered me from the beginning. Anyway, I know what I am about to say is dumb, but just hear me out. After a long period of time accepting my fate and not doing anything to treat my kp, in March I bought 80% lactic acid, 30% salicylic acid, and 70% glycolic acid to see if it would get rid of the spots since I read that those ingredients are good for treating KP. As soon as they arrived in the mail, I started putting this on my skin at least 4 times a week to see if it would clear my skin for the summer. Well... it's been over 2 months putting this on my skin straight out the shower and I have noticed almost no change in the spots. I got a few chemical burns at the beginning but I continued to use it because I thought that was the price I had to pay for perfect skin and the chemical burns would be more easily treatable once the spots faded anyway. Fast forward to today and I still continue to use it on my skin because I feel like this is my last hope, but also if I can't see much change after 2 months then it's like will it ever go away? *Also before y'all say anything yes I have thought about going to a dermatologist. The closest ones live 3.5 hrs away but I don't have the money to go there rn
submitted by nervousnellyyy_ to keratosis [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 23:33 1thymeonli Who is the one behind the calls buying?

My tin foil has somewhat melted into my head but I think I'm starting to see the kansas city shuffle folding into place.
The calls have been MILLIONS of dollars worth so far, and its only Tuesday. I love RK, but that kind of capital is a lot for any independent guy like him to come up with, especially considering the fees and costs he will have likely had to deal with in the past, and whatever restrictions may have been placed on him.
Who do we know that has MILLIONS on hand to invest, with an interest in the long term health and wellbeing of Gamestop as a company, but also a keen interest in the share price both long and short term. Ryan. Fucking. Cohen. And his access to the Gamestop war chest is his key to doing it.
The recent preliminary earnings noted a significant amount of cash on hand has moved, some have speculated an acquisition, but I am speculating that these will be in calls contracts for gamestop itself. Plus the fact these are a preliminary earnings report which we have not yet seen so far adds protections against insider trading allegations for GME insiders, and major point in my theory.
The calls are for June expiry, right around the time of the investors conference call, if these calls are exercised at $20/$25 a piece, this would mean there would be massive amounts of shares that would need to be purchased on the open market, with CAT in place by this time so a T+1 settlement and a stricter audit trail. But the cost of the exercising of the contracts could also be in the millions, maybe around say, $100 million dollars? Who the hell has that kind of scratch laying around...
So if price maintains and these calls are exercised, the buying pressure would be monumental to cover them, with each share costing whoever has to fulfil the contract more and more and more. Whoever is selling shares would make an awful lot of money, it would be quite lucky if you had a few tens of million shares to sell when the price is going up, what was that other form that Gamestop published not too long ago? The offering of being able to sell up to 45 million shares that had everyone losing their mind? A lot of wrinkled ones were able to conclude that this would allow GME to raise capital at what may be unusually high market rates. Which is completely true, since they have the greenlight to sell at short notice now it's been announced.
The whole discussion about calls in and around GME has been a topic of hot debate since even the before times. Some say they're good for adding buying pressure, some say they're traps for people who aren't so well versed and have a surplus of cash and a lack of sense, some have said they're only actually useful if they're exercised. Exercising calls costs money, the most expensive part is the exercise, money a lot of us simply have held in the stock we have so lovingly been HODLing and accumulating for the past few years. Investopdia has an article on calls and puts I'd recommend you check out to understand this process if you're not following
So when these contracts come to be exercised, the buying pressure will raise the underlying stock price, but whoever holds the contract will get them for $20/$25 regardless. No matter how high it might run, the casino pays out on 20. Wait, didn't I see a casino paying out on 20 in a movie once? Can anyone remind me of that name?
As the price climbs since MMs will need to pull more and more shares out of an already diminished pool, i know a certain subreddit that owns, and i mean, OWNS, 25% of them, the market rate for these will soar, and what do you think will happen when a few more shares become available? They'll be snatched out of whichever hand is offering them and replaced with a massive wad of liquid cash, however massive the seller decides.
These shares will then be lovingly gifted right back into the hands of gamestop for $20/$25 a pop, who may, or may not, choose to sell them again, or may just decide to keep hold of them for a while and see how they feel resting in the back pocket.
If my tinfoil is screwed on right, gamestop may be selling their own shares at climbing prices, to satisfy their own $20/$25 strike options contracts. Leaving them with both shares, and cash in the pocket, and if gamestop finds itself in possession of 75% or more of these shares from circulation, it will have a duty to shareholders to initiate a share recall with the powers that be and force all shorts to close since that will be evidence of synthetic share circulation
With RC having control of the capital for whatever he so chooses, CAT landing, RK popping back up in a cryptic manner on twitter, all the pieces are revealing themselves to my minds eye
I may just be tired, and I am for certain highly regarded, but what if I'm right. I'm sure the first comment will tell me how wrong I am, but a man can dream can't he?
submitted by 1thymeonli to Superstonk [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 23:13 JadedCitizen2022 I still have questions and am in a lot of pain nearly a month after the death of my cat - long

I adopted Pumpkin in the Winter of 2012-2013 after someone abandoned him in the town where we used to live. I took him to his very first vet appt several months later and his age was estimated to be 3 or 4 at that time.
Pumpkin was a runner for who knows how long before I adopted him, so getting him to be accustomed to becoming an indoor kitty was very hard. He tried a number of times over the years to escape but the few times he did, Pumpkin didn't get very far.
After adopting him, Pumpkin developed chronic constipation, probably because he was living a much more sedentary lifestyle He was put on Laxatone only at first but when that stopped working he was put on Lactulose too, which he hated.
To make a long story short, he eventually got put on Miralax, in addition to his Laxatone. Pepcid a/c was added when he developed upper tummy issues.
Fast-forward to February 2023. During one of his routine checkups, Pumpkin's vet told me she detected a heart arrhythmia. She urged me to take him for an EKG and echo, but I needed time to save money. It took several months to do that and get approval for the wheelchair bus I needed to take him out of town.
Pumpkin had an echo, which was normal, but the EKG was not and it confirmed his heart rhythm problem. This was late October 2023. His vet and I discussed putting him on a heart medication but I decided it wasn't worth the risk because he was very difficult to medicate. I was worried that something would happen if he went on it temporarily and then refused to keep taking it. Potential side effects were another reason.
In January of this year and mid-March, Pumpkin had what appeared to be transient stress episodes where he'd collapse on the floor, pant and act like he was dying. The first episode lasted about a half hour and it was on a weekend when no vets except for the online one was available. This happened right after I had to give him some medicine. I snuck up to him to put it on his paws - something I did many times previously w/o any problems. Right after this first episode I had a consult with an online emergency vet who was the one who told me it was probably a transient stress episode. I consulted with his regular vet soon thereafter and she agreed In mid-March he had another one that lasted longer, at least 45 minutes.
It was around this time he had a checkup with a different branch of his vet's office and a different vet, who said he was ok except for the heart rhythm problem. He had his rabies booster at that time too.
On April 23, two days before Pumpkin died, he had a massive bowel movement. I expected him to bounce back as usual but this time he didn't. Two days after that (the two day wait was so I could reserve a wheelchair bus - they require two days notice) I took him to the vet and after she examined my baby, his vet said he sounded like he had fluid in/near his lungs. Xrays and an ultrasound confirmed this, in addition to fluid in his abdomen. Even with treatment, the prognosis was poor and I made the difficult decision to have him put down.
To this day I question whether or not I could have done more to save him. If only money wasn't an issue and the heart tests weren't delayed....if only I gave him the heart medicine he probably would have eventually refused....if only I got the wheelchair bus approved sooner (the one where I took him out of town for the heart tests). And if only I didn't choose to let him have his rabies booster. I had it done a couple of months before it was due to save time since we were already at the vet's. I didn't anticipate any more problems.
Both his vet and the one who did his heart tests said there was nothing I could do to have prevented his from happening. His next to last vet appt (with that rabies booster) was about 5 weeks before he died. Pumpkin seemed ok then per the vet. The sudden accumulation of fluid around his lungs and abdomen happened after that.
Both vets said it can happen that fast. Cats are really good at hiding how sick they are.
I've been going over what few medical records I have on hand....posts on a cat owner message board to construct a timeline of his health issues, etc, all to figure out if I missed anything. The one thing I stayed on top of without fail was keeping him pooping, which, after Pumpkin died, probably extended his life so said his regular vet.
Btw, Pumpkin's weight on his next to last vet appt was about nine pounds or so. In the five weeks or so from that day to his death he gained about one pound, which is a huge amount in such a short period of time for a cat. It was most likely his heart.
Pumpkin was a short haired male cat, neutered and declawed by his previous owner.
I should have asked for a necropsy but it's too late now. One thought occurred to me - maybe I should ask for a copy of his medical records? I don't want to be a pita to his vet. She bent over backwards to help me and him, esp. on his last day on Earth. I discussed the possibility of fostering a cat and his vet said she would be a reference for me.
I keep blaming myself. What should I do now? I am gutted.
I have no idea how this happened. His age was estimated to be around 14-15.
Please help me. Thank you.
submitted by JadedCitizen2022 to AskVet [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 23:13 GS9__ Need help as a Canadian Applicant please

I am a Canadian applicant and am applying to US this cycle. I am taking my MCAT Mid Aug so will get my scores back by mid Sept.
Could someone please guide me on what steps to take so I am the most competitive I can be (I know I am disadvantaged being late and international) but given my circumstance how could I improve the little chance I do have of getting in (like when should I finish primary by, secondary, CASPER, etc.)
I was thinking of starting my primaries right now, and getting a list of 5-10 schools. I have a general idea of my essay. Aiming to submit the primary to these schools by mid June. I understand I would be taking a risk, because I am submitting primaries to school without my MCAT score which might not be competitive (won’t know till mid Sept).
Hopefully I can get back secondaries ASAP and slowly chip away at them while studying for MCAT. And then after I take my test mid Aug, I aim to dedicate full time on these secondaries until I get my score back in Sept. I aim to submit shortly after I get my score to the schools my MCAT is competitive at from the original 5-10 I chosen.
I know some people are going to say don’t bother applying to US this cycle just stick with Canada, but I am on gap year one now and really don’t want to take gap year two—I am going to try my best this cycle and if US or Canada don’t work, I am packing that sunscreen or getting some Elizabeth’s (aka exploring the UK route)
In terms of funds, I am very lucky—I got compensated a very good sum of money which I hope to use towards application fees and paying medical school off.
In terms of stats my GPA is either 3.98 or 3.99 out of 4.00, I have moderate ECs and clinical hours (around 200-300) and took the MCAT before which was poor (500); but it’s also same summer when the accident occurred Lol. I feel much better about MCAT now and think I can get 515s, but I am aiming for 520s (don’t want to say I can get it because I don’t know yet).
TLDR: Canadian, MCAT in mid Aug, Good GPA/Mid ECs/500 OLD MCAT, want to get in ASAP and get the MD degree
Please help me, I would appreciate it!
submitted by GS9__ to premed [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 23:09 CharlesRimbaud I (M21) can't even pay her (F23) a cinémas ticket. How overcome this feeling of ruining her youth?

Hello everyone, My girl (F23) and I (M21) have been together for five years, we are happy in the sense that we love each other a lot, the passion is still there etc etc. Except that we live in poverty, I alternate between many jobs so that we can pay the rent etc., I often find myself doing odd night jobs. She works in a store but earns very little. Between us we manage to just about get by, that is to say, pay the rent and buy just about enough food, spent all ours winters without any heating. It's a daily struggle. And today I got depressed, telling myself that I couldn't even afford to go to the cinema for her, we don't have many friends and the only outings we do are walks in nature. In short, the feeling of not being present enough because I do everything to earn a little money and despite this not being able to pay her anything that would make her happy, not a single birthday present for two years et. She tells me that everything about love is fine, that she would love me to be more present but that the moments we spend are magical and that she is happy despite poverty but I am afraid that one day she will look back and say to herself : I missed my youth with him, I went through so much.. We never live. Of course, this is the case for many people (metro, work, sleep) and we are not the only ones but how do you overcome this feeling of surviving and never really living?
submitted by CharlesRimbaud to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 23:09 LatteFreeKingDa Should I get a quick cash loan if I can pay it off soon?

Long story I'll try to make short. Girlfriend and I got in an accident two years ago, not at fault, car was totalled. We got a lawyer. Our insurance and the other party's was able to cover our rental car costs, until we couldn't, and we had to buy a new car to go to work. We got a used car in good shape, but on a 26% interest loan that was super hard to pay off, and after being behind for too long, the car got repossessed, and I have about a week to get it reinstated before we're stuck with paying for a car we no longer have.
Good news is, the settlement from the accident has FINALLY been closed and our checks are making there way over, but just not in time for us to use that money on the car.
We've already gotten so much help from friends and family on other matters, it seems our outside resources have been exhausted.
From what I understand these cash loans suck and are incredibly dangerous in the long run... but assuming my check will be here shortly after, is it my best option? I have no credit, yet. The car loan was on my girlfriend's credit which is currently suffering.
submitted by LatteFreeKingDa to povertyfinance [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 23:08 spectreofthenile Serious question.

And if you’re hear to spew the same old constant crap please skip this. Not tryna hear shit about “HODL” or emoji spam or bullshit generalized chain information. Im here as an investor who’s put money towards this and wants cold hard facts.
I’ve been reading that the shorts have already been covered. it would make sense considering the stock is up over 1000% on the week, it started at barely a few pennies, and had a 3.90 high. squeezes like gamestop don’t happen often, they’re usually stuff of this caliber, because if you got in early you would’ve made a lot of money at peak. I want numbers and evidence. Can someone tell me where they’re getting this info that the shorts haven’t been covered, yada yada?
EDIT: all the responses have told me is that most of the people pushing this have no idea what the hell is even going on.
submitted by spectreofthenile to FFIE [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 23:07 naxypoo Why I do NOT believe in the ICON team and the project anymore [Part 1] - Archived because it was deleted and locked from /r/helloicon

*Note: This post was originally deleted from /helloicon and am just reposting here to make sure it is documented and not being censored or deleted.
Edit: I know very well that the community tends to downvote any sort of negativity surrounding the project. However, instead of immediately downvoting me, take the time to digest what I'm trying to say. If any ICON team members want to provide any counter-arguments (though I am certain they will not be able to justify every single thing I will have to say, especially in part 2/3), i would love to hear them. Some sort of transparency and communication from the team would be nice for a change. I believe this isn't just a trivial thing either. This is something that warrants a response from the team. There have been questions that have been buried and ignored when this initially happened. The community deserves better.
If anyone has been here from the start, my name might ring a bell. I was the Lead communications/community manager for ICON for quite some time. I helped cultivate and manage the communities during its peak. In comparison, here is a blockchain project that had similar popularity and trading volume to ICX.
I will make a separate post later going into greater depth about all the things, but for now, I'll stick to basically one thing I wanted to address first. In short though, I absolutely have no faith in this project or team anymore. I think the ICON team has consistently demonstrated a complete lack of transparency, poor judgement, and a company that is embarrassingly slow at adopting new strategies and adapting to the constantly evolving landscape.
There's a whole laundry list of reasons I could get into, but as I stated earlier, i will get into most of it in another post. First thing I want to address is ICON's first dApp, Blue Whale Foundation. I am waiting to see if I get replies from past Blue Whale Foundation members so I can just verify some things before writing more extensively about it, and get confirmation on some things.
For those that don't know, Blue Whale Foundation (BWX) was ICON's first dApp, and it was promoted directly by Min and two senior ICON council members were Advisors for Blue Whale Foundation, including ICONLOOP/PARAMETA's CEO. https://medium.com/biomanforcerose/ico-analysis-5-reasons-why-you-should-have-a-look-to-blue-whale-foundation-4bb55ef3bff3
I don't know if this was ever addressed, but BWX appears to have been a pump&dump/exit scam after the successful ICO launch. Majority of the people on Blue Whale's team immediately departed after the ICO, leading me to believe that they knew this was an empty shell of a project. Blue Whale abruptly closed operations in 2022, leaving many people frustrated and angry. I believe the BWF team recruited me to give BWF an air of more legitimacy. To be clear, I had zero knowledge of what was going to happen, and I was compensated a very modest and flat monthly rate for only a few months, and did not receive any bonus or incentives for making the ICO successful. I believe that other people involved may have gotten paid significantly more than I did, and that they simply used me for my likeness and status within the ICON community to legitimize and get ICON supporters to invest. For anyone that ended up buying because of me, I truly am sorry, and I had absolutely no idea that this was going to be the end result. I should have done more due diligence, but even if I did, I don't know if it would have made a difference because some of the damning information wasnt available until after the ICO. Also, because Min and ICON Council Members approved, endorsed, or were involved in the BWF project, I thought this ICON vetted this project and team. I had always felt terrible once I realized what the BWF team has done, but I didnt fully realize until I left ICON and blockchain space completely. Last I heard from BWF team was that they were going to take some time off after the ICO launch and I didnt hear back from them again. They actually left me in the dark completely for some time, and I was emailing them confused asking what I am supposed to be doing. For a month before the ICO, it was radio silence despite my repeated attempts to get a hold of them, and i finally heard back a month later when they told me that the team went on vacation or something? I can pull up email logs later.
Unfortunately, it seems like this was a pump and dump exit scam after the ICO launched. The ICO raised nearly $4million USD, and I believe the other members on the team could have earned potentially hundreds of thousands of dollars. The amount I earned? Very low, but somehow was actually a bit higher than what ICON was paying me monthly which was like barely above minimum wage at the time.
I will share more details in a future post regarding this, but I mainly want to apologize to anyone that bought and ended up losing money on $BWX. I had no idea that this was BWX's true agenda, and all of the information was deliberately kept from me from by the BWF team. I recently did some digging on the founder of BWX, Will Lee, and he states that he is a "serial entrepreneur", but in reality, I believe he is more of a serial griftescammer, and don't know why ICON and Min endorsed this project and the founder in the first place. I believe it was either gross negligence and incompetence from ICON or it was fraud considering that the ICON council members received compensation from the ICO.
Anyone that knows me knows I have been maybe one of the strongest advocates for ICON, and I would even go as far as saying that despite ICON's no communication policy, I believed I played a major role for ICON maintaining and even growing the community even during the extended bear market period. Maybe it was a coincidence, but there was a dramatic decrease in engagement and interest in the ICON project when I decreased my involvement and eventually left all together. Maybe it was a coincidence? Or maybe it wasn't. What I do know is that other projects i consulted on at the time immediately saw lifts in their community numbers when I gave them a hand.
I want to make it clear that while this is primarily about BWF, this is just one of many things that ICON handled poorly, did not address or take accountability, and showed how little they cared about its community considering that many people that bought BWF were likely those involved in ICX.
I didnt have time to proof read this because I'm sleepy and need to take a nap, so sorry if my thoughts are a bit disjointed or if this is just filled with some grammatical errors.
This is also just one of many many red flags and issues that I have with ICON, and why I no longer have faith in this project. I will post a part 2 and maybe part 3 later that are directly related to ICON, the team, amongst many other things, including my personal experience working for them.
edit: also just wanted to say hi to all the amazing and cool people in the community that were around when i was around. while i cant say too many great things about icon, i can say that a lot of you guys here are genuinely awesome people who helped keep my sanity intact. and im sure there are some that hated me too, and its understandable. My unspoken role at ICON was being the person at whom people can direct their frustrations and anger at, but hopefully, you don't hold it against me. To any new people, welcome, but I want you to know that if you do end up sticking around, be mentally prepared for an endless, repeating cycle of being disappointed, getting your hopes up a tiny bit, only to be let down again. Then repeat.
submitted by naxypoo to naxypoo [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 23:02 TownComprehensive809 QB Market is INSANITY!!!

QB Market is INSANITY!!!
We are about to be living in a world where Trevor Lawrence, Tua Tagovailoa & Dak Prescott are making $50+ million per year and that is just pure insanity cause non of those 3 deserve that kind of money. Only the truly elite QB’s today and there are very few today, deserve that kind of money. Mahomes obviously with his incredible resume, Burrow who has made the AFC title game every fully healthy season he’s played, Lamar with his 2 MVP’s despite disappointing playoff results and Josh Allen due to his incredible ability and playoff performances despite losing to KC 3 times. Those are the only 4 I can justify making 50+ million per year but Mahomes just won two SB’s with the highest cap hit of all time and he’s barely a top 10 paid QB on a per year basis currently. A massive bargain!!!
TREVOR LAWRENCE 11,770YDS, 58TD, 39INT, 85.2RTG Playoff Stats: 505YDS, 5TD, 5 INT, 72.1RTG
For a first overall pick called “generational”, Lawrence at his best has just been average to good which is underwhelming considering his expectations. He declined last year from a promising year 2 despite the addition of Calvin Ridley and was a big culprit in a second half season collapse. He’s never finished better than (9-8). He’s had flashes of elite but way too much inconsistency and takes a lot of risky throws. I’d want to wait until after his 4th year to make a decision on Lawrence cause year 4 is break out and become elite or not and he is what he is type of year.
TUA TAGOVAILOA 12,697YDS, 81TD, 39INT, 96.9RRTG Playoff Stats: 199YDS, 1TD, 1INT, 63.9RTG
When you look at the stats especially since he’s had Tyreek & Waddle, Tua’s numbers overall are really good but how much of it is him VS his WR’s because their is nothing physically about Tua individually that stands out. He’s short and not mobile which for a shorter QB is not ideal and doesn’t have a strong arm to throw outside the numbers. The cold weather game in KC really revealed a lot of limitations Tua has individually. He is a good QB that is accurate and plays w anticipation but his lack of individual physical talent/traits will hold Miami back from ever seeing its ultimate highest potential as an offense w those wide receivers
DAK PRESCOTT 29,459YDS, 202TD, 74INT, 99.2RTG Playoff Stats: 1,962YDS, 14TD, 8INT, 89.6RTG
If being paid as a QB was strictly about regular season production then the stats suggest that Dak Prescott is an elite level quarterback who has had many great regular season games. Unfortunately for Dak, QB’s are ultimately judged on playoff success and Prescott’s playoff history is ugly and that might be a nice way of saying it. He’s thrown an interception in all 7 playoff games and 3 games w multiple interceptions. He plays significantly worse on the big stage when all the lights are on than the regular season. He & Lamar are the James Harden’s on the NFL but Lamar at least has two regular season MVP’s and has been the 1 seed twice.
None of these 3 quarterbacks are deserving of $50+ million per year but by all means, I can’t wait for the Jaguars, Dolphins & Cowboys to cave down and cater to them and help the Chiefs even more!!!
submitted by TownComprehensive809 to KansasCityChiefs [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 23:01 ditsidaisi I'm in a situation

Hi I'm needing some guidance/advice on a situation that has me feeling extremely helpless clueless and has affected my mental health like nothing ever has in my life. Because of it all its been hard for me to have a complete thought. In a way it's like my brain is going 100000mph but at the same time is completely blank. I'm going to summarize best I can and I apologize if anything gets confusing. Please if you are able to guide me in the right direction or advise me on what my rights are I will be extremely grateful for it. My partner who I will call B and I have been together for 12 years and we live in New Mexico. B has always been the breadwinner and I am a homemaker. Throughout the years we have acquired quite a bit of things, property, vehicles, animals (horse dogs ducks chickens) tools etc together. Quite a bit of things. Everything is in his name but we have never had any problems or had any reason to worry otherwise. Ive always just used his card and/or acct to pay bills etc. Through the years we have distanced ourselves from the majority of our families because of their lifestyles and because we enjoy the simple things and try to avoid the drama our families are always stirring up.His son who lives in texas will call about once a week which usually ends up in B sending him hundreds and at times thousands of dollars at least a couple times a month if not more which B makes good money so it's never been a problem. The end of February B had a hemorrhaging stroke and was airlifted to Texas. For a month and a half I was there 24/ 7 doing everything I could for him. He and I are very close. Its been just us two for so long. His son was still asking for money while we were up there and I told him due to the circumstances we couldn't until we knew what all was gonna happen. Long story short he wasn't happy about it and everything seemed to go downhill from there A couple weeks into being in texas our home in new mexico got broken into and so I ended up having to drive back to check it out. I was gone for two days. When I got back his son came up there and told me he had power of attorney that his dad had personally signed himself (which his father is not medically competent at this point because of the severity of the stroke. He has very little left side function and his speech was non existent to everyone except for me which was only about 5 words because he was frustrated trying to talk and not being able to so he only would try when it was us two alone ) and had me removed from the hospital and also literally grabbed my keys from my hand and took our truck leaving me stranded in the parking lot. Our truck is under Bs name. It used to be under Bs and my grandmother's both but she's now deceased so no longer on title. I'm not on title but I am on the insurance as a driver of the vehicle. His son is no where on it. All my money and keys and clothes and a lot of important things were in the truck. I have asked multiple times to see the power of attorney papers but nothing. They have a privacy thing on B so I can't get any info. I was lucky enough to have a friend help me with an old vehicle that has no ac or heater but at least runs. I have been sleeping in the Walmart parking lot for over a month now with door dashing to maintain. It is one of the hardest most low times of my life but I have nothing and nowhere to go. His son and their family knowing i have nothing and my current mental state to intimidate and bully me and won't let me go to our home in new mexico which doesnt have much left that hasnt been taken or destroyed at thos point sadly but I haven't pushed too much because idk who I can talk to with us being from and our home being in New mexico but him being in texas currently in the hospital and also texas where his son took our truck from me. I'm not sure of what legal rights I have because even though we've been together 12 years I'm not on any paperwork. My license says our address but idk if that matters and I don't want to do something that could get me in trouble and maybe effect something in the future but also his son has had all of our animals removed and are all gone from the property. I have no idea where any of them are and have heard that he has done bad things to them. His son is not a good person and very sneaky and malicious. I have no money. I have no home anymore I miss my partner more than life itself and every moment i wonder what he thinks because its been just him and i and we were best friends and does he think i just abandoned him and what has his son told him if he knew the truth of what was going on this would just kill him. I am backed up against a wall and don't know what to do or what rights I have and my mental state is getting so low I have thoughts about giving up and they are starting to scare me. Thank you ahead of time for any help.
submitted by ditsidaisi to Ask_Lawyers [link] [comments]


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