Hello everyone, thanks for reading
For context, I’ve known him for almost 2 years now due to us living together. (I live in my mums house and he rents out the spare room) my mum only comes back twice a month to visit.
At first I thought it was too good to be true, the way he was treating me was amazing. So slow and respectful with things, paying for dates, bringing me gifts, telling me he loves me, and booking a holiday for my birthday.
I had a really bad gut feeling though that he wasn’t over his ex/ it was all too good to be true maybe he was cheating on for me for e.g (not sure why, maybe because he was still following his ex and her mum on Instagram).
Since then my mum says she has noticed a change in his behaviour, that he is not as considerate as he was e.g leaving bits like a ladder and mattress in the hallway and not opening windows and wiping surfaces dry like she asks. She also said that she doesn’t like the way he talks to me.
He makes jokes about my fake hair, about me not working hard in the day and makes jokes about what I do in the day. Also that I wouldn’t understand how expensive things are - like an MOT since I don’t have a car. He says his brother thinks he shouldn’t have to pay rent here anymore and then shortly after kept on saying how he needed help financially. He also makes mean comments about my dog saying his tail is stupid etc. He doesn’t like it when I go to resturants or places with my dad that we were meant to go to together either and makes me feel guilty for it. He says he loves me constantly and I am forced to say it back all the time otherwise he gets upset. He was jealous about my co worker, and doesn’t seem happy for me if I am going to a nice spa day with my mum or have treated myself to a new pair of sunglasses. “And you need another pair of sunglasses?”. He also told me he wouldn’t like it if I made more money than him and that he doesn’t like that I have gifts from my ex
The things that bug me the most at the minute is when he tells me to smile and constantly makes comments on my mood “you seem sad/grumpy.” “Can I see some happiness.” It makes me question if I am sad and grumpy, even when I didn’t think I was. He also doesn’t want s** as much as I do and makes me wait for it which is fine but it makes me feel unattractive to him. When he gets back from work now it also seems like he just wants to spend some time alone laying in bed.
I also worry if he just wants to use me to get on the property ladder since he makes comments about how my mum and dad will definitely help me out with a deposit and that he wants to beat his brother. Yet his parents cannot.
But besides all of this, he is a loving boyfriend I do believe, he texts me all day whilst at work, does compliment me, takes me on dates and trips and I still get the occasional gift, we laugh and he mainly cooks. He is also still paying the rent, drives us, pays for our groceries and dates. He says we need to save next year though for a house meaning less holidays and dinners next year
I have told him I am unable to help as much as I’d like due to currently going through redundancy. I do pay for some of the trips we have planned, do all the house work, gift him and sometimes pay for cafe dates.
Please tell me if I am overreacting? Your thoughts? Maybe it’s all a little intense right now due to us immediately living together and myself being made redundant, my grandad passing and having glandular fever. But this is my first proper relationship and I’m unsure if it’s right.

So let me go on a story.
I'm a gay 29M.
I lost my parents, and received inheritance around two months before my birthday last year. It was put toward purchasing a lovely home with several rooms and accommodations. It's very lovely.
However; when this happened, I lost my job which would've provided a far better income, benefits, and far easier work due to circumstances that transpired. I was set back for a while, and ultimately became financially unstable. I always make it work out ultimately now, re-employed and taking odd jobs, so I've become reliable on that front.
I invited a coworker of mine who wanted to avoid her abusive living situation with her mother, who threatened to kick her out. This coworker friend (20F) [Let's call her J] tends to have anger-issues that elicit her to lash out at people rather immensely. She has made tremendous progress in this respect I feel in some of the time I know her, but habits continue. It's not physical or anything, it's just emotional/anxiety riddled stuff, and so forth. For the most part, having lost the job, the majority of the duress between us arrives from housing situations and ultimately the issues aren't massive. Either out of respect, out of understanding, or out of better compatibility, things improved. Likewise she has a cat, and while it can be a little annoying, it's adorable so I forgive it. Likewise she's a big animal lover.
Near Christmas, another former Coworker of mine (24F) [She can be H.]had a falling out with her boyfriend. So at the behest of my new roommate's request, she was given a room. It was a trial to sort of get her back on her feet. I offered a month without rent to allow her to save money. Then a 3-month period discounted Rent, to help her furnish herself. Likewise due to a smaller room; she had less money owed. This has continued for five or so months in totality. This Coworker I don't have much synergy with, and she seems primarily self-contained. I don't opt to interact with her, and she doesn't with me. Likewise; she's far more extroverted than I or my roommate, so often goes out drinking, hanging out with boys, etc.
Recap.
J is 20. H is 24.
And for the majority of the time together; the two have been fast friends and likewise seemed to improve more as they've hung out here. Until the second roommate wanted a cat, which initially both were overjoyed by. She got a kitten, pretty spontaneously. And ignoring advice, she let it interact with my roommate's cat. We were initially planning on keeping them apart for both their safety, especially because the kitten hadn't been vet-processed and J's cat has a slightly weak immune system. This was in breach of trust given, and upset J quite a bit.
H had made plans to hangout with a friend that night, and essentially left the cat in a carrier in her room, and told J she'd likely be back by 1 AM that night, and if she could watch the cat. J had work at 7 AM, but agreed.
H got drunk and never came home that night. Meanwhile, the kitten she adopted was mewling all night across J's room and upsetting her essentially. The 4-week old kitten was comforted and likewise, and could fit into your cupped hands. It got stuck under a door once even, escaping it's carrier. It could've been bad or worse. I'm mildly upset at it.
But likewise; I own a pet I keep in my room too, who rarely scratches at the door sometimes. I can understand a cat left to their own devices can be fine, they can be solitary creatures seemingly. But given how young the kitten was and how it needed constant attention, it felt very rough for J to both look after H's kitten after everything, and for H to disappear after saying she'd return. Likewise J didn't want the cat to be harmed. She'd leave it be for intermittent periods but would check in on it every half-hour to hour.
So on this side of the topic; I feel J is beyond validated.
But it evolved.
J elected to lash out at H over this. Sending 20+ text messages in the same day; threatening to get the cat into a Vet, or Humane Shelter due to what had happened and the seeming neglect, so on and forth. Hollow threats she claims to provoke H into caring more, but ultimately still made and essentially this was on the first day of owning the kitten. I don't feel H was given an opportunity or time to process or adjust from her day's decision, and was bombarded immensely with hateful messages that tore her down.
Ultimately, this led to H giving her cat away, but she refuses to apologize, and their friendship essentially broke. H's ability to take accountability is tremendously limited and often leans toward victimization at times, but I empathized with her because J can be absolutely vitriolic, toxic, and poisonous when her anger oversteps her rationality.
Ultimately H feels like moving out in some regards due to it. But the talk about J's feelings toward H; the disdain, annoyance, and likewise low-opinion J holds due to this, has caused H to recluse some toward J further. And ultimately time has passed, between shouting at one another, to text messages, to H seeking refuge in friends and drink, to J having a operation around this time and spending time recuperating from it. Which opened a bridge of concern from H, that I hoped would maybe lead them to talking it out. Because the two can be good at it.
But ultimately when J relented enough to offer the Olive Branch, H rejected it. Which is her right. Civility after the initial moments had been somewhat restored, life moved on, they weren't friends but they could mostly live with one another.
Which led J spiraling into an angry tirade that was primarily meant to tear down H again, and did so by praying on trauma H had. Because J wanted to ensure all bridges were burnt down.
I'm stuck in the middle on this and it's aggravating me.
H refuses to even so much as budge in admitting fault, but I honestly don't think leaving your kitten alone at home is necessarily a bad idea on paper; since many animals are often left alone and while not the greatest situation can still be fine. She already has to work an 8-hour+ job some days, and would be relying on us in the interim for feline-care, until the cat was grown, had her shots, and was allowed to roam the house and have some more freedom. And likewise she had made plans, and got carried away. I can honestly chalk up her decisions to inexperience and bad decision-making and feel in some respects she deserves some grace. Likewise J's treatment of her, personal attacks, threats to get the Cat put into a Vet after one day, and likewise were it me in her shoes it would make me reconsider ownership of the cat as well, and likewise would make me very unreceptive toward any sort of relationship with J.
But as I said; H throughout all of this didn't apologize, and took solely to defending her decisions, justifying her rationale in them, and ultimately even on the things she did wrong that led to the situation developing, doesn't relent.
J meanwhile, I can see the frustration on. She is earnestly trying to get H to be accountable. She helped tremendously toward even getting the cat, and offered a lot of help throughout the process. She had her own cat endangered recklessly despite several warnings (in a very avoidable way that you'd deliberately have to do otherwise), and likewise was sent to work without sleep caretaking for a kitten that she had only volunteered for a few hours for. Much the same, the kitten was essentially in distress and abandoned in the first day, which raised a few questions about the responsibility and future events arising alike to that.
But; I feel that while J deserves to be told that in several respects she was right, that her grievances toward H erupted in such a manner that it was absolutely disrespectful, and painful, and likewise manipulative in the worst of ways.
I've no idea what to do in this case, because I'd like both Renters to sort of hash it out, and be done with it, but obviously not happening per se. But I'm also conflicted on the topic. I don't know if the kitten left alone is a massive deal and red flag for future neglect on the first day, or if it was acceptable to take time away from the kitten given how it would be left alone anyway when she worked. Likewise; I'm not sure if J's justified in respects for how used it made her feel and not receiving a single apology, or if H at this point is suffering more than enough from how J's reacting.
I'm very stuck in the middle here, and I'm worried about losing one. Should I accept the potential loss?
TL;DR: 20F lashes out toxically at 24F for abandoning kitten she had just adopted for twelve+ hours and making her babysit on a work-night beyond agreed upon times and also endangering her own cat in the same day. 24F refuses to apologize, but 20F's negative response has been borderline overwhelming and personal.
29M landlord is unsure what to do, feel, think, or prepare for.

My boyfriend and I have been together just over a year, we are long distance. I most recently saw him about a month ago when he came to visit me, this was following our breakup last year that was initiated by me after he failed to follow through with his plans to visit at the time, among some other issues we were having. I’m sensitive about what someone says they’ll do and even more so when words are all I have to go off of like in our situation. It was hurtful at the time and it left me very confused, wondering why his actions didn’t match his words and if he meant what he said.
FF to now — he did a 180 and carefully planned his trip to see me, making sure all of it was done in advance. It was a lot of fun and it was really hard to say goodbye. About a week or so after he left, he told me how he had been thinking constantly about my upcoming birthday and that he would like to be with me for it. He said he wanted to come back and had planned to initially surprise me by planning someone with my mom, but then decided to just tell me. I was excited that he wanted to as I really want to be with him and didn’t know he was thinking the same.
Other than that night and one other time, he has not brought up my birthday. His plans of coming to see me have not been brought up and it’s starting to bring up those feelings from last year. My birthday is in a week, if it was further out I wouldn’t be feeling this way, but it’s a bit close for comfort.
I don’t want to have to ask him about HIS idea for my birthday, if he can’t come anymore why hasn’t he already said it? What should I do?
TL;DR bf is being flaky about trip for my birthday

Hi all, I received a letter asking for proof of my address. It asked me to send my passport and 2 pieces of evidence that I live at the address I gave. There was a huge list options to send in, however…
I don’t have ANY 2 pieces of evidence as I’m not the one who pays bills/have them in my name. I don’t work so no payslip either. I can’t do a bank statement as my address on there was still my old address. I have changed it now but i’ll have to wait for the next bank statement which is the 3rd/4th of June. I’m not entirely sure how to request my bank statement through the post (as it’s just all online, and I don’t have a printer to print it off). And also, would it come on the 3rd/4th if I am able request my bank statement ?
I have until June 7th to send this in otherwise my PIP claim may be “disallowed”.
What do I do ? It’s hard enough to have someone call on my behalf as it still gives me extreme anxiety. I’m not sure what my boyfriend can even say exactly. If I don’t have evidence, then wouldn’t they just disallow my claim ? Has anyone else been in this situation before ?
(I do wanna note, PIP has tried calling me twice since getting this letter but everytime they did, my boyfriend was at work and because I have severe social anxiety, I couldn’t answer. They left a voicemail after the second call but it was muffled. I could only make out that she was from DWP, calling about PIP.)

Hi I have a boyfriend whos mom doesnt like me. I havent seen his mom in person yet but we had talked once on the phone. I thought everything was fine cause in the relationship its always 50/50 in everything. We take this fair. I got my own job, business and studies at the same time while my boyfriend had already pursued his career. I never asked for money or anything. When we go on dates I made sure that I will have my part of share. Now, his mom doesnt like the idea of me and him going on a date and idk why. Everytime there is an incidents she would sort of blame me that it happened. On my part, I really would get hurt cause I did not even do anything to upset her. I understand that she doesnt like me but what I dont understand is her reason of getting upset to me. There was this one timee that my boyfriends wallet was been snatch on his bag while we are walking and I heard his mom on the call blaming me for it. She even said that is it fine and she would understand if I was not there but I was there thats why shes angry. I told my boyfriend that its gaves an impact on my being that his mom is acting like that to me. He as a guy close to his momy and is confused since he doesnt want to choose. I was not referring on to whom he choose but I hope he would make his mom understand that I am not the type of woman she might be thinking of. In my side of family we really had this culture of family gathering. That even the boyfriends and girlfriends are always there invited. This last occasion I have was giving me mental breakdown cause it was a very big deal on his mom. That even on a family gathering that is not tagged as my birthday or graduation or any other occasion, he was there. His mom was upset that he went there and asked if it is my way of making sure that I can just see him if I want. Idk it is confusing me. Am I the bad guy here.

Two years ago my best friend invited me to his university graduation in july, and even asked me to be in his photos beside his family (we had been friends for seven years at that point). I was very honored, but he invited his boyfriend too.
Now, I had never met his boyfriend before, but I knew my friend loved him to pieces so I tried my best to get along with him (I'm not very socially skilled). We got along great, but I think I tried too hard because after my friend graduation he started being very cold with me.
I think it's important to say I moved away for university after high school (We live 3 hours away) and the only form of communication we shared was through texts, and I'm a bad texter but I have always tried my best for him.
After his graduation he started being cold with me. His answers to my texts were short and icy for months until he stopped answering me. I think maybe I talked to his boyfriend too much, or I didn't pay him the right amount of attention in his graduation, but I'm not sure because when I asked him what was wrong, that he could tell me what did I do he insisted that everything was fine. That nothing was wrong.
That year (2022) he started ghosting me in september and then started texting me pictures and videos about cutting bad people from his life and resenting others in the first days of february of 2023. Which were very obviously things he thought about me. To this day I don't know what I was supposed to answer to those texts (I only sent back sad faces).
And then that month in valentine's day he suddendly started acting normal again. And he even asked me why I hadn't send him a Happy Christmas and New Year text in december (which I had been doing since we were sixteen). Honestly, I cried of anger that day because I had actually grieved our friendship already.
I went to visit him somewhere that year for his birthday in May, to test how he acted in person. We went out to eat but it was a very tense hang out. After that, thinking about fixing our friendship and about what should I say and what not (to not upset him) made me so anxious that I ghosted him after May until October(not my best move)
He started sending me again passive agressive images about bad friends but started talking to me again anyway. In December I went to visit him and the two of us went to his town fair. It was less tense, but our relationship still felt very stilted.
After that we texted until early february, and then he ghosted me almost two months until the end of march to wish me happy birthday. Which I answered with ghosting him until this month to wish him happy birthday too.
I feel very guilty about ghosting him but my mental health has been a mess this year, and thinking about texting him has only made me anxious since his graduation. I don't know what to do anymore, or how to talk to him. I don't even know if we are still friends.

I (f19) went to celebrate my birthday with my two friends Annie and Lia (fake names, both f19). It was originally supposed to be three friends but one (Emily, f19) canceled on the day of.
For context: we’ve been celebrating our birthdays together since we all became friends. Normally we go to dinner, everyone pays for the birthday girl, and we give her gifts. The gifts I gave (other than paying for 30-40 dinners) have been handmade cards/letters with their favorite candy. The only person who I didn’t get a gift for was Annie because we met after her birthday. However, I bought her a half-birthday gift to make up for it. I gave that to her at my birthday celebration.
On my birthday: after Emily canceled, Annie and Lia were late and didn’t seem too excited to be there. Or at least not as excited as they’d been on everyone else’s birthday. Nobody got me a gift or card. Ironically, the only gift given was the one I bought for Annie. Because they were late, I bought the Uber so we wouldn’t miss our reservation at the karaoke spot we were going to. Neither of them offered to chip in for the reservation, so I ended up paying for them. The only thing I didn’t buy was the Uber back because Lia bought it while I was using the restroom. The second we got back to our dorm building they said bye and left me to go to their dorm (they're roommates), and I’ve barely talked to them since (it’s been like 2-3 weeks; at most, we’ve made small talk when we see each other on campus). The last part is especially hurtful because I’ve tried planning for us to spend time with each other before school ends, but they all said they were busy with finals (despite me seeing them with other friends).
Honestly, I’m really sad nobody got me a gift or paid for me. I’m not somebody who needs expensive gifts. I would’ve loved handmade cards or smth. And if we all hadn’t spent upwards of 30-40 dollars on everybody else’s birthdays, I wouldn’t have even batted an eye at me paying for karaoke and the Uber there. The part that makes me sad is that I’m the ONLY one being treated differently.
Honestly, the only reason I’m not taking all of this as a sign to find a new friend group is because I’m going to be roommates with Emily next year. Plus, I don’t have any friends in college other than these 3. It's important to note I'm probably not the most objective OP, but I tried giving all the necessary context. Part of me is worried I’m being dramatic because I have a fearful avoidant attachment style and past traumas with loved ones/friends. My birthday was the only one right before finals, so this could also explain their behavior.
Am I being dramatic? If not, what should I do after we all reconnect next semester? Will it be too late if I bring it up after 2 months? Despite a shitty birthday and the low-key ghosting, I do want these friendships to work out, because for the most part, my friendships with these 3 have been some of the best I’ve ever had. I just don't want this type of stuff to start repeating. It just sucks feeling like nobody cares and that our friendships are one-sided.

So my boyfriend is a car guy, cars is all he talks about. His birthday is coming soon and I want to buy him a gift, first I thought about buying him anything basic yk like shirt or a watch or something like that, but then I thought it's nothing really special I mean he already has those things and ofc I can't get him an actual car I'm 20 lol! so I thought to gift him a hot wheels set. Do you guys think he'll like it? Or it'll be really childish? Also suggest me which set or model to gift him because I've zero idea about cars.

I’ve (F23) been dating my boyfriend (M24) for the past 4 years since college. He has many great qualities like he cleans our apartment regularly, he doesn’t hesitate to help when I ask, and he’s generally non-judgmental.
I feel comfortable being open and honest with him in many aspects, but I feel like he doesn’t reciprocate in that way. I thought he was originally, but occasionally when I explain something that bothers me, he would shut down or bring up his issues with me that’s been bothering him.
It’s incredibly frustrating that he chooses these moments to come forward because it feels like it makes the conversations focus on him when I’m trying to say something like “hey I felt hurt when you did X. And I’ve noticed it’s been a pattern.” Usually if it’s something that happens once, I let it go because it doesn’t matter in the end, but it’s been focused around planning dates and gift giving as of late. He only really gets around to doing either during birthdays, Christmas and Valentine’s day, which I appreciate, but I’d prefer a once a month thing. In terms of gifts, I dont mind if it’s not exorbitant- flowers, cute little trinkets, artsy/plant related items would suffice. I moreso just want to have a little thing as a demonstration that he’s thinking of me and WANTS do something for me.
We had a conversation about it 5-6 months ago and we agreed that I’ll give him the space to initiate, but it’s May and the last time anything even happened was Valentine’s Day.
We had a convo recently and he stated that it’s because he’s stressed and procrastinating because he felt like he’s messing it up bad, which is why nothing has happened. He also asked why I didn’t initiate as well, which I was upset by the idea because we talked about him initiating initially? He also said he WANTS to do these things but he’s struggling to find the right gift or figure out the right date set up and I’m just confused where this pressure is coming from because I just want anything at this point, which I have stated multiple times.
I don’t know- I’m sort of just tired of it and feel like he’s all talk and really only commits to these things when the relationship is in an emergency. He’s setting something up in a couple of weeks but I don’t even know how I feel about it right now. I spent a lot of energy convincing myself that I’m asking for a lot just to cope and even expressed it. He always says I’m not asking for a lot so why isn’t he doing anything?
Ultimately I asked him to go see a therapist because I can’t really help him if it’s a genuine internal issue. He had been really resistant for a couple years because I originally suggested it because he used to shut down for seemingly no reason for a whole day and when I asked he would say he’d have no idea, but with our recent convo, he said he’ll do it.
I don’t know I should be pretty happy that he’s finally listening to my suggestions, but I’ve been saying the same things for a while, and now that I’m here I just feel okay I guess. As I said he has a lot of good qualities- like he’s super reliable otherwise in everyday life, financially, and emotionally support if it’s unrelated to him, which is why I’ve been with him.
Am I asking for a lot? Am I communicating incorrectly in some way? Is this worth it? Am I too tolerant or intolerant? What’s y’all’s thoughts? Got any advice?

So my boyfriend is a car guy, cars is all he talks about. His birthday is coming soon and I want to buy him a gift, first I thought about buying him anything basic yk like shirt or a watch or something like that, but then I thought it's nothing really special I mean he already has those things and ofc I can't get him an actual car I'm 20 lol! so I thought to gift him a hot wheels set. Do you guys think he'll like it? Or it'll be really childish? Also suggest me which set or model to gift him because I've zero idea about cars.

I (f19) went to celebrate my birthday with my two friends Annie and Lia (fake names, both f19). It was originally supposed to be three friends but one (Emily, f19) canceled on the day of.
For context: we’ve been celebrating our birthdays together since we all became friends. Normally we go to dinner, everyone pays for the birthday girl, and we give her gifts. The gifts I gave (other than paying for 30-40 dinners) have been handmade cards/letters with their favorite candy. The only person who I didn’t get a gift for was Annie because we met after her birthday. However, I bought her a half-birthday gift to make up for it. I gave that to her at my birthday celebration.
On my birthday: after Emily canceled, Annie and Lia were late and didn’t seem too excited to be there. Or at least not as excited as they’d been on everyone else’s birthday. Nobody got me a gift or card. Ironically, the only gift given was the one I bought for Annie. Because they were late, I bought the Uber so we wouldn’t miss our reservation at the karaoke spot we were going to. Neither of them offered to chip in for the reservation, so I ended up paying for them. The only thing I didn’t buy was the Uber back because Lia bought it while I was using the restroom. The second we got back to our dorm building they said bye and left me to go to their dorm (they're roommates), and I’ve barely talked to them since (it’s been like 2 weeks; at most, we’ve made small talk when we see each other on campus). The last part is especially hurtful because I’ve tried planning for us to spend time with each other before school ends, but they all said they were busy with finals (despite me seeing them with other friends).
Honestly, I’m really sad nobody got me a gift or paid for me. I’m not somebody who needs expensive gifts. I would’ve loved handmade cards or smth. And if we all hadn’t spent upwards of 30-40 dollars on everybody else’s birthdays, I wouldn’t have even batted an eye at me paying for karaoke and the Uber there. The part that makes me sad is that I’m the ONLY one being treated differently.
Honestly, the only reason I’m not taking all of this as a sign to find a new friend group is because I’m going to be roommates with Emily next year. Plus, I don’t have any friends in college other than these 3. It's important to note I'm probably not the most objective OP, but I tried giving all the necessary context. Part of me is worried I’m being dramatic because I have a fearful avoidant attachment style and past traumas with loved ones/friends. My birthday was the only one right before finals, so this could also explain their behavior.
Am I being dramatic? If not, what should I do after we all reconnect next semester? Will it be too late if I bring it up after 2 months? Despite a shitty birthday and the low-key ghosting, I do want these friendships to work out, because for the most part, my friendships with these 3 have been some of the best I’ve ever had. I just don't want this type of stuff to start repeating. It just sucks feeling like nobody cares and that our friendships are one-sided.

I (f19) went to celebrate my birthday with my two friends Annie and Lia (fake names, both f19). It was originally supposed to be three friends but one (Emily, f19) canceled on the day of.
For context: we’ve been celebrating our birthdays together since we all became friends. Normally we go to dinner, everyone pays for the birthday girl, and we give her gifts. The gifts I gave (other than paying for 30-40 dinners) have been handmade cards/letters with their favorite candy. The only person who I didn’t get a gift for was Annie because we met after her birthday. However, I bought her a half-birthday gift to make up for it. I gave that to her at my birthday celebration.
On my birthday: after Emily canceled, Annie and Lia were late and didn’t seem too excited to be there. Or at least not as excited as they’d been on everyone else’s birthday. Nobody got me a gift or card. Ironically, the only gift given was the one I bought for Annie. Because they were late, I bought the Uber so we wouldn’t miss our reservation at the karaoke spot we were going to. Neither of them offered to chip in for the reservation, so I ended up paying for them. The only thing I didn’t buy was the Uber back because Lia bought it while I was using the restroom. The second we got back to our dorm building they said bye and left me to go to their dorm (they're roommates), and I’ve barely talked to them since (it’s been like 2-3 weeks; at most, we’ve made small talk when we see each other on campus). The last part is especially hurtful because I’ve tried planning for us to spend time with each other before school ends, but they all said they were busy with finals (despite me seeing them with other friends).
Honestly, I’m really sad nobody got me a gift or paid for me. I’m not somebody who needs expensive gifts. I would’ve loved handmade cards or smth. And if we all hadn’t spent upwards of 30-40 dollars on everybody else’s birthdays, I wouldn’t have even batted an eye at me paying for karaoke and the Uber there. The part that makes me sad is that I’m the ONLY one being treated differently.
Honestly, the only reason I’m not taking all of this as a sign to find a new friend group is because I’m going to be roommates with Emily next year. Plus, I don’t have any friends in college other than these 3. It's important to note I'm probably not the most objective OP, but I tried giving all the necessary context. Part of me is worried I’m being dramatic because I have a fearful avoidant attachment style and past traumas with loved ones/friends. My birthday was the only one right before finals, so this could also explain their behavior.
Am I being dramatic? If not, what should I do after we all reconnect next semester? Will it be too late if I bring it up after 2 months? Despite a shitty birthday and the low-key ghosting, I do want these friendships to work out, because for the most part, my friendships with these 3 have been some of the best I’ve ever had. I just don't want this type of stuff to start repeating. It just sucks feeling like nobody cares and that our friendships are one-sided.

US-31 EDR

Its intended as a US-31 EMERGENCY DETOUR ROUTE, which is why "31" is the last two digits, similar to many other triple-digit routes.

County Route B31

In the town of Nunica itself, there's a County route designated as "B31". Since B is the second letter of the alphabet, one might assume "231" from that, although in a Hexadecimal context, it'd be more like 2,865. Normally routes don't have quadruple digits, so it was sorta a good idea to have alphanumeric county routes.
B-31 goes all the way to M-120, both of which ride along the border of Newaygo County and Muskegon County. Interestingly, M-120 used to be M-213 in the past, see "M-213" section below.

an area code in Michigan

231 is also a telephone area code. Incidentally, 231 is not the area code for Nunica, although the 231 area code was formerly part of the 616 area code which Ottawa County, and Grand Rapids, and some other cities are part of. The 231 area code was created in 1999, which would be 16 years before M-231 opened to traffic.
After all, lots of people driving on US-31 are heading to the 231 area code, and might take M-231 in the event of a drawbridge situation, whether it be traffic jams caused by the bridge being up, or even the bridge being OUT OF ORDER needing maintenance.
Although, the 231 area code starts in Muskegon, where I-96 terminates at US-31, so essentially, the US-31 EDR starts at I-96 going toward Nunica (M-231), and then picks up at M-231, and then M-45 going back to US-31.

M-213 anecdote

Back in the 1950s, and prior, there used to be a route called M-213, which occupied the Maple Island Road corridor going from M-46 to M-20 (present-day M-120), and in the present day, that roadway is a segment of county route B31, explanation about that route above.
It has been explained on Christopher Bessert's Michigan Highways website that M-231 has an odd, tenuous connection of M-213, as explained in this article:
https://michiganhighways.org/listings/M-231.html
That article really inspired me to make my own post, here on Reddit, about M-231's oddities.

US-231 maybe?

There's also a route called US-231 which doesn't even enter Michigan at all, in fact, it veers northwest toward US-41 near the Chicagoland area near the Indiana/Illinois border.
But to be fair, having no US-231 in Michigan meant that the M-231 designation was available for use back when the project was first announced in the late 2000s.
US-231 goes through the state of Alabama, and it's neighboring state, Mississippi, has a city called Tunica in it, and Tunica rhymes with Nunica.

Ramona 231

The phrase "Ramona 231" was said in the movie American Graffiti. What's interesting about American Graffiti, is that an actror named Richard Dreyfuss was in the movie, and his 68th birthday was one day before the day when Michigan's M-231 route opened to traffic, but it's unlikely that that had any influence on the timing of events.
However, Richard Dreyfuss' character Curt was not the one who uttered the phrase "Ramona 231", it was John Milner played by Paul Le Mat.

BASE-3 number of some other route

M-231 terminates at M-45. I've also discovered that if you enter 45 in BASE-10, and change the radix to 4, you get number 231, so 231 is also the BASE-4 equivalent of the BASE-10 number 45.

kilograms-to-pounds unit conversion

I am aware that M-231 intersects with a route called M-104 which has been along a lot longer. I also recently discovered that there are about maybe 104 kilograms in 231 pounds, although it's more like 104.779 kilograms when 231 is an INTEGER for pounds.
so that's another probable inspiration for the route number.

any other ideas?

Any other "231" connections to point out?

i applied for disability in July of 2022 (i have autism and also something physically wrong with my knee but my doctor hasn't figured out what it actually is yet.)
after over a year of going back and forth with the stupid disability place and them sending me packets upon packets or the stupidest questions and me filling them out and sending it back and phone calls and a meeting with a psychiatrist and all kinds of jumping through hoops, they denied it. my autism was diagnosed when i was a toddler and they told me i most likely won't get disability without an updated diagnosis, like they think autism is just something i can outgrow or something.
well, the whole time I've been dealing with them I've also been trying to get refered somewhere to get an updated autism diagnosis but it's very hard to find someone who will diagnose adults, is close enough for me to actually go to (because diagnoses like that usually take multiple appointments), takes my insurance, and doesn't have a 2+ year waiting list. my doctor found me one single place that actually met the criteria (it still had like a 3 year waiting list but beggers cant be choosers) and sent a referral for me but they just never got back to my doctor or me because I also called and asked about it. I've also been doing blood work and x rays and physical therapy and trying really hard to figure out what's wrong with my knee but nothing has come up yet so I'm still just suffering with that.
Well, i appealed the disability thing, they sent it to a judge cause that was the next step, i had a hearing with a judge and a job expert and the judge asked me why i felt like i couldn't work and i literally had a breakdown and cried and told him how i had one job before and it was a super basic job at goodwill working in the back sorting books and not dealing with the public but I still couldn't handle it. I explained how working that job made my knee swell up and be in near constant pain and how the job (working barely 10 hours a week) made me so exhausted that I literally couldn't function outside of work. I would go to work, come home, sleep until my next shift and repeat. I felt like a zombie. The only time I would function was the weekends (barely) and all of that energy and time would be spent on meal prepping for the week so I wouldn't starve because I knew I wouldn't have the energy to make food, and I would do the dishes that piled up all week and sometimes if I had enough energy I would even shower on the weekends. I was so depressed and exhausted and not functioning outside of work at all and one day I woke up at 6 am to my alarm for work and i decided I was either going to quit my job or I was going to off myself and i had the self awareness to quit my job instead of trying to delete myself. and i had such a big meltdown and told all of this to the judge and more. and then i had to sit there, still crying and trying to collect myself while the judge talked with the fricken job expert about how many 'low effort, readily available jobs' HYPOTHETICALLY could exist in my town (this was all based on some bullshit guestimating math equation instead of realistic research into the topic) and then he had the audacity to tell me he "wasn't sure" and "needed time to think about it" just to take 3 fricken months to send me a letter denying my case again because, according to their stupid bullshit, i participated in "substantial gainful activity" (the one job i worked for 3 months and quit so I wouldn't commit unalive) therefore i "can't be disabled."
and it just felt like a spit in the face. like this man really listened to me have a mental breakdown about how the easiest job i could find, working 2-3 hours a day 3 days a week, made me so depressed and nonfunctionial that i was about one more shift away from taking myself off this planet and how my knee hurt so bad i literally just wanted to cut my leg off right above it if it would make the pain stop, and about my autism and how i don't feel like a human i just feel like i was shoved into a human suit and thrown on my ass like 'good luck, figure it out.' and he really listened to all that and still decided that 'im not disabled.' and 'theres plenty of jobs I can do, I just have to find one.' like I'm so stressed and depressed and worried about money constantly that I barely have the capacity to take on anything else, let alone another job that's gonna make me wanna blow my brains out again. I got the letter today and I've cried like 3 times about it because it really feels like I'm already down on the ground and he just decided to kick me with spikey steel toed boots.
I have one more appeal left, where it goes to a disability council (whatever that means) and their options are 1. deny it (most likely to happen) 2. send it back to the judge to 'look at it again' (basically guaranteed for it to get denied) 3. approve it (very very highly unlikely) or 4. throw it out (why is that even an option? That's so stupid) so its like an 80%+ chance of it getting denied from here, and if it gets denied at this point then i have to start all over and the last two years of waiting and hoops and paperwork and crying and pain and feeling like a puppet on display trying to "prove I'm disabled" will just mean literally nothing. And that's a really depressing thing to think about, that the last 2 years of my time and effort and humiliation were basically for nothing.
Besides that, if it gets denied again and I have to start all over, and there's no point in even doing that unless i can get new 'evidence' (like an updated autism diagnosis, which I can't because the one place thats close enough, takes my insurance, and actually tests adults, has a 2+ year waiting list and also won't fricken get back to me about even getting me on that stupid waiting list) and even if I do get an updated diagnosis, they can still deny me disability. I hate this so much.
I feel like a giant brick wall has fallen on top of me. I'm so exhausted mentally and I'm so stressed and I'm so tired of worrying about money and not being able to buy things i need and just barely surviving and I'm just so exhausted of it all. i live with my boyfriend and he has disability and it all goes to the bills and stuff so we have water and power and things, but most times we don't have cleaning supplies or toilet paper or things like that because we don't have the money for it. we only have food because we have foodstamps. I've had my whole wardrobe since highschool and I'm down to 2 pairs of shorts and 3 pairs of leggings because they all rip at the thighs after a while and I'm running out but I don't have money for clothes, y'know? And my boyfriends mom owns the house we live in (she bought it so he wouldn't have to worry about rent and stuff, but then told him he has to pay her back rent for all the years he's been here when he has the money) and she recently told me that when/if i get on disability she expects back rent from me all the way from 2021, which would be like $20,000 at this point and that number just keeps building and it feels like a giant tower looming over me. I don't feel like I'm living, I feel like I'm just barely surviving. And i know there are people out there that have bigger worries then running out of toothpaste and shampoo and not being able to afford more, but like. It's still very real worries I have and I just feel like garbage about it and I'm constantly worried about money and it's just so exhausting.
And to have someone look at me and disect my situation and basically tell me that I'm "not disabled" and basically that I dont deserve money that would help me possibly survive is like a punch in the gut. It hurts, a lot. And I'm so exhausted and upset and frustrated and i really don't know what to do anymore, about any of this stuff.

((I felt a spark of creativity and wanted to write this and dip my toes into maybe starting to write fanfiction and what better way to start than my ultimate favorite ship!)) [Little bit of a sad excerpt so be warned]

 The rain came down in heavy sheets, pounding into her clothes with icy pricks along her skin where the water soaked through the fabric of her black dress. Her umbrella did very little to shield her from the weeping rain and the chilled winds, but she appreciated the cover for her tears. She hadn't cried tears like this since Nero, but for the last 6 months, she cried often, and didn't care much ti hide it anymore. Wednesday stalked along the grounds of her home, determined but defeated steps towards her destination. She took the opportunity to sniffle under the cover of her boots squelching into grassy mud. Her home was a simple 4 room Cottage on a 5 acre plot of land with a huge yard surrounded by thick forest. Once upon a time she this was paradise for Wednesday, but nowadays it's only a painful reminder of what once was. She had come alone, as she always did on this day, having left Thing in the cottage by himself. She did this same ritual every year, for the last Year, on the 28th of each month. It was June now, and the entire month had been dull blur of numbing dread and painful memories that once tasted oh so sweet. The storm clouds blotted out the sun but Wednesday wouldn't have been able to see past the spray of water to her face anyway. She made her way under a huge oak tree towards the back her land, in a clearing in her forest. The tree stood tall and proud, shouldering the burden of Wednesday's grief through a the front of its trunk, where the bark had been scratched off and the letters "WA + EA" were etched into the exposed wood. The solemn seer placed her hand over the etching, her tungsten wedding band sticking out along her pale hand. She shuffled a few steps to the right to stand before an ornate head stone, the crest of a wolf sculpted at the top. Wednesday gracefully sat down on the wet grass, not caring for her clothes as she tucked her legs to the side. She closed her umbrella and laid it to the ground as she carefully removed a hot pink orchid from her person. Carefully, the seer placed the orchid in the maw of the white-marble wolf. "When they told me you were gone, I screamed. I wailed and I cried and I screamed. As loud as I could. I halfway hoped that if you could hear me screaming on your way to the afterlife, you would turn around and come back to me," Wednesday said, her voice monotone and devoid of emotion. As opposed to the usual cadence to her voice, the words instead came out exhausted and beaten. Another round of hot tears began to fall as her bottom lip began to tremble. Wednesday stood, and ran her hand over the top of the wolf-statue's head, and placed a kiss on the nose. "Happy Birthday... Cara mia..." she spoke with a whisper. She didn't like the idea of disturbing this place with too much sound. It was her sanctuary, a final remaining thread of peace in a minute sanctuary she forged herself after she laid her heart to rest here. It was her favorite place after all, the countless full moons where she would lay with her wolf under the oak tree. Wednesday lingered for a moment, staring at the words etched into the marble, "Enid Addams June 2006 - January 2036 The Raven's Wolf, Beloved Wife" with a heavy sigh and a sniffle as the tears began to subside, Wednesday made her way back to the cottage that wouldn't feel like home anymore, not while her soul remained incomplete. 

Me and my boyfriend broke up the first time back in feb due to me not handling my time well when we were meant to hang out and i instead went overtime in the gym (we didn't have a set time tho) and so for a few weeks after we had a mix of no contact , apologies and arguments trying to understand each other. because after all we did love and care for each other. after a bit of this my boyfriend wanted to get back together but i was unsure.
it came around to my boyfriend's birthday at the end of march and even though we weren't together the week before i asked him to hang out for his birthday on a set day and he agreed. i didnt do anything too much since we weren't dating as i was unsure if we would work and so i bought him a small gift (a drink bottle) and took him on a spontaneous date curated of things he liked (i'm not a good planner) it was still really nice.
After some time i decided to try the relationship again at the start of of April. sure we had some issues with trust but we overcame them i think and it was overall really good.
it came around to my birthday at the start of may and my boyfriend was telling me the week before we should do fine dining etc and i was keen. on the week of my birthday i was busy with planning my birthday celebrations and university so maybe i was a bit distant. it came to my actual birthday day and i was having dinner with my family when he asks if he could come by whenever and drop off my gifts maybe. so after dinner i saw him and he gave me some nice gifts like roses and a cat incense holder which i loved and told me maybe next week we'll do something. i was a bit bothered though he didn't ask to hangout on an organised time and when i asked why he starts rubbing his face like he was upset and deflects with things like 'well you only bought me a drink bottle for my birthday' and 'i did more than you would' when i brought up the fact that i wanted him to organise a time to hang out like i did for him.
Mind you i was going to get my period and so my tolerance was extremely low as i tend to get mood swings before my period. so after a few days of texting consisting of him deflecting and me trying to explain why it shows he doesn't care like i do in which he responds with bluntly ' i do' i broke it off over call in which he proceeds to roast me saying i put 0 effort in the relationship and compares me to other relationships that i personally do not agree with (the girl doing more things for the boyfriend). i remained calm and did not roast him back and just ended it.
so now its been like 3 weeks of no contact and he has not messaged me. i fear he thinks i will message first maybe. but why do i feel guilty and sometimes like i made an impulsive decision? i know we still loved each other and he did show that. I want more opinions/adivce as all my friends are supportive and saying its his fault.
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Me (16m) and my boyfriend (16m) have a really good SE teacher and he decided that we could be moved to the same class. One day, when we got a new seating chart, someone I was placed near noticed how I was talking to my boyfriend. He turned around and gave me a dirty look, you know the kind of look that says “just shut up and we can all be cool.” I took the hint and then shut up. Turns out that using sign language to communicate not only was picked up by his ears, but he told us to shut up again.
after class, I heard him clearly making my boyfriend uncomfortable and I listened to their conversation without intervening, dont want to get The wrong idea. I heard him say “so you used to be a girl?” not in a genuine way, but more condescending. I walked closer and asked my boyfriend what they were talking about. He isn’t deaf but were both in the sign language club and he told me what was wrong in a terrible way, like engrish. It was like “help boy make me uncomfortable” so I told him to back off and to “keep it in your pants, okay? He’s mine”
and that’s when I started getting death threats. Mhm. Probably 12 different signatures in different handwriting with the main idea of “kill yourself, faggot.” The fun part happens now! I brought all 12 or so notes to the principal of my school and began gathering up my posse to write back to them. this didn’t stop either. Every day there were more notes than the last. By the end of the year there were about 50 different strongly worded notes with such vile wording I have no idea what to even say. 50 notes EVERY DAY.
this was when the principal got some of the staff members to write notes. Now obviously I would probably get sent to jail for what was in those letters but the staff couldn’t see. The kid ended up coming to school with bruises all across his body (probably from his abusive parents) the next day. He moved and I never saw him again. me and my boyfriend are now happily together stronger than ever and yes, we did pass SE class. this is my first homosexual relationship and I know that usually the guy proposes marriage but were both men so like… help

Hi guys. I’m in a tough situation and wanted to get advice from strangers without bias of the situation, so I thought Reddit was the best idea. My Ex-boyfriend and I were in an on and off relationship for over a year. He has previously been in a very toxic relationship of which he was manipulated and emotionally abused. You can assume his concept of love was damaged by that. Nonetheless we dated for 8 months until our first breakup, and he, very shortly after, started talking to his online girl bestfriend he had been friends with for years. She had not been an issue in our relationship before. We got back together a month later, our relationship only lasting a month because I was uncomfortable with their relationship. Fast forward a month later he gets back together with me, apologizing for his behavior before, saying how terrible it was. He had gotten with another online friend during our second breakup. Both online friends drop him and block him on everything. Our relationship goes steady for 4 months until a find a love letter on his notes app to the first online friend he never dated. He claimed he needed to let his feelings out and that he doesn’t believe it. That he was tired, and wanted to be with me and not her. When I asked “her or me?” he refused to answer. He also claimed he was going to reach out to her over the summer under the assumption that “we weren’t together?” Is this cheating? What should I even think at this point?

I'm 21. I go to a commuter school, which means I don't get the typical college experience. I've never been to a club before, or a bar. I only recently had my first drink and smoke on my 21st birthday because I've never been rebellious enough to drink before I'm legal. Never had a boyfriend because I fear rejection too much. I only have four friends who I love but seldom see because of distance so I usually do things on my own. But I get anxious of being perceived (no, i'm not being ironic) so I stick to the only place where you're expected to be alone—cafés.
I don't have any hobbies. I don't read, I don't write, all I do is listen to music. But I don't even do that right, because I don't have a favorite artist—hell, I don't even have a favorite genre.
Conversations with me end up turning into a game of hypothetical questions because I cannot for the life of me think of anything real or personal to share. There is nothing about me that is interesting, and because I don't really have any true understanding of what I enjoy or what my passions are, I struggle with finding things to talk about. Unfortunately, I'm so awkward that don't know how to have a superficial convo and still be interesting.
Literally everything about me is awkward. From the way I walk (I am incredibly clumsy and trip a lot), to the way I talk (I have a slight stutter), to the way I act (constantly aware that I am being perceived and so I overthink everything I do).
I know this reads like I'm depressed and self-loathing but I swear I'm not. I do like myself, I'm just deeply aware that I am lame as hell. Will happily take constructive criticism

Please someone hear me out about this. It’s about my boyfriends addiction to porn. I’m 19 and he’s 20
My boyfriend is the most loving man I have ever met he buys me flowers without me asking, he writes me letters every single day, he drives to my house just to bring me food and he is the best man I’ve ever known he cries looking into my eyes because he says I’m “beautiful “ he writes down the stuff that I like and he takes pictures of stuff that I like just so he can get them for me later. However, me and him dated for the first time years ago and when he was 15 I found out he watched porn and I was really heartbroken by it, we eventually broke up and moved on with our lives because I made a dumb decision. Fast forward to us dating again now, he said that he stopped watching porn and he’s told me that he hasn’t watched it since we got together last may. He’s been reassuring me about this for a year he’s cried to me about it and how much he hates porn and he swore up and down that he hadn’t watched it ever since we first got together last may. Today he couldn’t take the guilt anymore and he confessed that he’s be lying to me for a year and he still has an addiction to porn and he never actually stopped I’ve never seen him cry harder than today he says he felt ashamed and disgusted in himself and that’s why he never wanted to tell me the truth. He said he’s tried many things he’s even tried blocking adult websites on his browsers. Here’s the problem I have with this, I know how addictions work no matter how much u want to stop your brain wants the dopamine more and more I understand that part. But the thing is that he has videos of us having sex and pictures of me and the videos of us having sex is literally porn it’s categorized as porn it’s the same thing he’s watching on porn sites he doesn’t watch anything weird he only ever watches people having sex but I just don’t understand why doesn’t his brain think that OUR videos are porn. This just makes me worry that my body isn’t good enough and our sex just isn’t enough for him because he has so many pictures and videos of us that literally are straight up porn so why does he feel the need to look at other people why is the addiction still there. Please anyone If there is some kind of explanation to this scientific psychological or neurological. I’m really contemplating on leaving him over this but I also understand addiction and i see how hard he’s tried to stop and he desperately wants help and he wants to stop more than anything but I just need an explanation to why isn’t he satisfied watching our sex tapes I just need to understand.

The title sounds stupid but hear me out.
My (18F) boyfriend (20M) has a crazy helicopter mom. His parents own his car and his phone and they’re paying for his college, so he’s got no way to escape from her until he’s out of school and has some kind of financial independence. She’s very religious—thinks sex is a sin, loves traditional gender roles, all that stuff. I rarely go to his house, but when I do, she watches us like a hawk. If we go up to his bedroom she stops what she’s doing and listens in on us to make sure we aren’t up to anything. She’s super friendly to me, but he says that she’s like that to everyone, and will talk shit behind people’s backs the minute they’re gone.
When we started doing sexual stuff, he was really panicked about the possibility of her finding out. He said she’d probably disown him. I suggested at the time that he get Snapchat because it can delete messages and pictures after they’re seen. I worried that she would look through his texts with me, and I wanted a way to talk with him about what we were doing where I wouldn’t have to moderate everything I said in case she’d see. He brushed me off at the time and said she wouldn’t go that far. I spent a while trying to persuade him but ultimately just let it go.
Today, he was complaining to me that she’d asked to see his bank account and wouldn’t take no for an answer, so he had to show her. I was reminded of how I’d worried she would look at our texts, and I brought that up again. Naturally, he brushed me off again. He said she wouldn’t do that (which I don’t believe after the bank account thing), and she doesn’t have his passcode (it’s literally his birthday, I figured it out from one single time glancing over his shoulder as he typed it). The more I think about it, the more it worries me. We do have a lot in our texts that he would get in trouble for. We’ve talked about our sex life, we’ve talked about how badly she treats him. And even if it weren’t for all that, I just feel really weird about having some judgmental weirdo reading everything I’ve ever written to my boyfriend.
I want him to get Snap or some other texting app that allows the same level of privacy, and the next time we see each other I want to go through our texts together and delete anything from his end that’s personal or would get him in trouble. He finally agreed to get Snap but he’s putting it off. This afternoon, he said he’d do it tonight, but it’s midnight now and he’s still putting it off. I don’t understand why. It’s a simple little thing that would make me, for one, feel a lot safer. I’m tempted to quit texting him until he does it, because he doesn’t seem to get why I feel the way I do, and I feel like he’s being way too cavalier about the whole thing.
AIO?