Quotes about someone passed away

Just ran in to something interesting. Today I was trying to charge at an 350kw charging station that I had used before. Now the max I’ve gotten at this station is 75kw, but this morning I was only getting 35kw. It was taking forever and I had to leave for work.
When I got out of work another 350kw charger was open, one that I saw was working for someone else this morning but when I plugged in I was still only getting 35kw. I double checked and reset all my charging settings but still it stayed at 35kw.
Then I remembered that I had switched the fuse position for the 12 v outlet so that my rear dashcam would record when I was away from the car. I stopped charging put the fuse back in the original position l, plugged in and now I’m sitt by here getting 75kw again.
I hadn’t come across anything about this when researching about the 12 v outlet on here, so I thought I’d share in case I might be able to help someone in a similar position.
23 Pro S AWD

As probably most of us here, I struggle with social skills and social anxiety. I’ve been actively trying to better myself since the start of the year and I feel like I’m honestly making a lot of progress. But I wanted to get some insight on what happened to me last night to see if I could have done things better.
So at 10pm last night I was at my desk and on my phone, it was a rainy night and I was just scrolling through reddit when I saw a notification about someone at my front door (I have a doorbell camera thingo). I pulled up the video to see a young girl waiting at my door, she was holding a plastic shopping bag and she looked a little stressed out. I would’ve guessed she would’ve been between 18-24.
I went to the front door and said hey. I asked her what’s going on, through the screen door. She said that she was lost and that she was drenched from the rain. I noticed she was a little out of it, being it either intoxicated, on some drugs or even just stressed or anxious. I asked her where she just came from and she kinda dismissed it or dodged it. I asked if she was okay and she said she was, but she clearly wasn’t. She kept opening and checking her plastic bag, I think just because she was anxious though. I asked her where she wanted to go and she told me she wanted to go to the local supermarket (using its actual name). The supermarket would’ve been closed but I assume she just wanted to get to the center of my suburb, or just the main road where all the shops are and street lights. I told her which way to go to get there (about a 3min walk) and I asked again if she was okay, and she said the same, that yea she was fine. Then she left and said thankyou as she walked away.
At the time I wanted to offer her a lift up there (drive her) out of the rain but I know how creepy that could’ve came off so I didn’t. Like I wanted to help her more but I feel like any other attempts at getting her to open up about what was going on or to comfort her could’ve been interpreted like I was a creep.
Is there anything that I could’ve done better in this situation? Could I have atleast opened the screen door between us? It’s just the person I am, I try to be the person people can trust and come to for help or to chat about things and I want to know how I can improve on that.

In 1996, I was involved in a plane crash just outside Pensacola. There was a firefighter named Mark that sat next to me and gave me oxygen as other emergency personnel cut me out of the plane. It took more than 2 hours to cut me out, then he turned me over to the other EMS personnel. I ended up pulling myself out of the wreck since they couldn't cut me out, and Mark gave me the strength to do so, holding my hand and helping me to pull myself to safety.
I never got the chance to thank him - he kept me calm after confirming that my dad had been taken to the ER, and that both my mom and the pilot had passed away due to the crash. He was completely honest with me and never tried to hide anything, unlike the other EMS personnel who lied to me and told me everything was OK when I knew it wasn't.
Then there was Ollie, the nurse who sang to me Happy Birthday blues style on my 18th birthday in the hospital, sneaking in a real, genuine cupcake because she knew how bad the hospital cakes were...(flourless, sugarless, tasteless cardboard!). She was there for everything I needed, seemingly for 24/7.
For 28 years, I've been trying to locate them both to say thank you to both of them. These two individuals made my recovery easier both during the rescue and afterwards. Both of them plus the rest of the nurses and doctors who took care of me after this horrific event. You truly have no idea how much you cared for me and set me up for the rest of my life.
If you're reading this, it's because of you that I've gone on to living my best life.
I completely understand if you don't want to come forward. Just know you made a hell of a difference in this woman's life. I've gone on to own my own business, have 2 kids and am about to embark on the adventure of a lifetime.
I love you all so much and I hope some seriously fantastic karma comes your way!

My crush is 9 years older than me. I thought she didn't like me and/or I did something to make her uncomfortable. Or maybe it was the age gap, I honestly have no clue. More on that is in my other post.
In short, there's a 9 year age difference that neither of us realized until our birthdays came up and other colleagues asked how old we were. Thought we were maybe 4-5 years apart at most, I joked about being 28 with another colleague while she was in the vicinity and she paid attention to what I'd said. I'd catch her almost constantly staring or looking in my direction and going to certain places at work at the same time I do. The age gap doesn't bother me in the slightest, I don't know what she thinks.
At first we would chat here and there about basic small talk, which progressed into small favors like delivering stuff from the reception area. We went through a weird patch I've given up on figuring out. Pretty much went no contact since end of February and all through March.
Just recently though, she's been doing certain things that I feel delusional for reading into. For the past couple weeks, she's been wearing something similar to me every day. I regularly wear my clothes in a certain order because it lines up with my second job and I don't ruin my thinner clothes that can't take a beating. It's something I've been doing since August, with a few deviations (days off, second job rescheduling, etc). Granted, they're basic outfits and combinations, but she's been wearing the same thing as me without fail since last week. I don't know what to make of it. She's also been staring longer and more frequently.
I think I mentioned it in the other post, but our break times don't line up, so we don't usually see each other outside of working hours. My break is before hers, and during our weird patch, she wouldn't even go to the break room. She just started going back to it recently, and tends to go to the chair I am near or still in, even if there's other seats that are closer to her team and open. I moved away once to the other side of my friend (he sits next to me) because it seemed like she was going for the chair I was leaning on (she was, set her stuff down and pulled the chair out) and she ended up moving to the other end of the table, away from her team, and just kinda off to the side. I didn't think too much of it, but she hasn't been back to the break room since then. I don't know if it was because I moved, or what. It just has me confused. Her team isn't super inclusive, considering she's been there for 6 years and someone from a completely different department has more contact with her than her team.
The last thing I'm confused about is her leaving around the same time I do, or just a few minutes after. I leave at different times depending on the days, because I tend to stay a little after work to clean. Before, I'd end up staying significantly later than she does, I get distracted and go help other people. Lately, we've been leaving at the same time or just a few minutes apart and end up driving the same way for a bit. She lives in the opposite direction so I don't know why she goes the same way as me to use the on ramp further in town. This one seems like it should have a reasonable explanation like road work or something, but it certainly doesn't help my delusions.
Now she's going to leave in June, to go do something else. I don't know the specifics, we haven't been able to talk much. I really don't want her to leave, but I also think it's a better choice and she should take it. Less stress and better hours for her, potentially shorter commute as well. It's all just blaaaaaagh. I'm just taking it one day at a time, letting whatever happens happen.
TLDR; I'm at a loss, does she like me or not? And if so, how do we stop being so weird around each other??

The root potentials are not differentiated. By reciting the Name, a rebirth is confirmed.
‘differentiated’ here means pick and choose. The Buddha does not pick and choose the root potential of living beings. As long as he recites Namo Amitabha Buddha, he will attain a rebirth.
第十章 不擇根機 稱名必生
「擇」是選擇、挑選。對任何根機的眾生不加選擇，只要稱念彌陀名號，必得往生。

1. The Dharma Door of Amitabha recitation pervasively gathers in the myriad potentials.

(1) The doubts of living beings
The Pure Land which we desire to be born is truly pure and adorned. How about every one of us? After we have learnt the Buddha Dharma, we contemplate ourselves especially and we know that we are the defiled man who is filthy and sinful, who is impure with greed, hatred and delusion. After further thinking, doubts arise in us: I am this defile man of impurities, with heavy karmic hindrances. Are you sure I can attain a rebirth in such a Pure World of Ultimate Bliss? Standing from the angle of a mundane, this doubt is unavoidable.
一、念佛法門廣攝萬機
（一）眾生的疑慮
我們所嚮往的淨土，是那樣清淨莊嚴，而我們每個人自身呢，特別是學佛之後反觀內省，就知道自己污穢、罪垢，貪瞋癡三毒不淨。這樣想一想，難免起疑惑心：像我這樣一個染污不淨、業障深重的眾生，果然能往生那麼清淨的極樂世界嗎？
站在凡夫這一邊，難免有這樣的疑問。
(2) ‘living beings of the ten directions’ refer to the living beings in the nine Dharma realms.
In other Dharma Doors, only the man with superior good roots and sharp wisdom are able to cultivate the path. Those who are with inferior root potential and low mentality are unable to learn the Dharma. Anyhow, some living beings will be left out. But in the Dharma Door of Amitabha recitation, it pervasively brings in living beings of the superior root nature, the mediocre and the inferior ones. None will be left out. It is the Dharma Door for all men. So, it is thus described, ‘The one Dharma which gathers in the myriad potentials.’ The six syllables Name is the one Dharma which can rescue all living beings.
‘The one dharma which gathers in the myriad potentials’ has its evidence derived from the 18th Vow when it is thus stated, ‘living beings of the ten directions.’
（二）「十方眾生」即九法界眾生
其他法門，上根利智能夠修學，下根劣智就學不來，總有眾生遺漏在外。可是念佛法門，上、中、下三根普攝，無一人不能修，無一人不當修，所以是「一法攝萬機」——以六字名號一法，救度一切眾生。
「一法攝萬機」的根本依據，就是第十八願當中的「十方眾生」。
‘living beings of the ten directions’ is an expansive scope. ‘Ten directions’ means it is not limited to our Saha world only. It is inclusive of all the empty space in the ten directions, all the living beings in all the worlds pervade the Dharma realm. ‘Living beings’: Other than the Buddha Dharma Realm, the other nine dharma realms belong to living beings. These living beings include the Bodhisattvas of the Equal Enlightenment and also those in the Avici hell. Everyone is inclusive.
「十方眾生」包括得很廣泛。「十方」，不限於我們娑婆世界，而是十方盡虛空、遍法界一切世界的眾生；「眾生」，除了佛法界，九法界都屬於眾生，上至等覺菩薩，下至阿鼻地獄眾生，通通包括在內。
In the passage on Vows, these words are stated, ‘except for those who have committed the five rebellious acts, who slander the Proper Dharma.’ It seems that the Buddha will not save those who have committed the five rebellious acts, who have slandered the Dharma. But Great Master Shandao has clarified this point based on the Contemplation Sutra, the lowest position of the inferior grade, saying that these are words of preventive measure, giving warning to the living beings so that they will not commit such severe offences. But if they have committed these offences, the Buddha will still save them.
願文裡雖然有「唯除五逆，誹謗正法」八個字，似乎五逆謗法的人不救，但善導大師已經根據《觀經》下品下生說明這是抑止意，警示眾生不要犯此重罪；如果已經犯了，還是要救。
In the Adornment Sutra, another version of the Sutra of Immeasurable Lifespan, it has clearly stated the rescue of living beings in the three evil paths:
Living beings from the realms of hell, hungry ghosts and animals are born in my Land after receiving my Dharma Transformation. They will attain Annutaraksamyaksambodhi very soon.
《無量壽經》異譯本《莊嚴經》明確說明救度三惡道眾生：
地獄、餓鬼、畜生，
皆生我剎，受我法化，
不久悉成阿耨多羅三藐三菩提。
In the ‘Great Amitabha Sutra’ it is thus stated, ‘All the man and devas, the flying insects and wiggling worms, who on hearing my Name are filled with compassion. They are excited and joyful. All of them are able to be born in my Land.
《大阿彌陀經》說：
諸天人民、
蜎飛蠕動之類，（蜎ㄩㄢ；蠕ㄖˊㄨ）
聞我名字，
莫不慈心，歡喜踴躍者，
皆令來生我國。
‘The flying insects, the wiggling worms’ refers to the worms which fly and crawl. These living beings are most stupid and deluded. Throughout hundreds of thousand Kalpas, they are unable to leave transmigration. Dharmakara Bhikshus talks about these living beings and says, ‘They will all be born in my Land.’
「蜎飛蠕動」是指飛蟲和爬蟲。像這樣的眾生，是最極愚癡的，百劫千劫無法出離。而這樣的眾生，法藏比丘說「皆令來生我國」。
2.Great Master Fa Zhao’s verses: Transforming the tiles into gold
(1) Prelude
At the causal ground, that Buddha has brought forth these magnificent vows, ‘I will surely come forth to welcome you if you have heard my Name, if you are calling my Name.’ He does not differentiate if you are poor or rich, if you are with low mentality or are very talented. He does not differentiate if you are greatly learned, that you have upheld the pure precepts. He does not differentiate if you have transgressed the precepts and are heavy in sinful roots. As long as you turn over a new leaf to recite lots of Namo Amitabha Buddha, even the broken tiles can be transformed into gold.
This is the Great Master Fa Zhao who has made use of the verses of Great Master Ci Min to explain the meaning of the 18th Vow in the Sutra of Immeasurable Lifespan.
二、法照大師「變瓦成金之偈」
（一）引文
彼佛因中立弘誓，聞名念我總迎來；
不簡貧窮將富貴，不簡下智與高才；
不簡多聞持淨戒，不簡破戒罪根深；
但使迴心多念佛，能令瓦礫變成金。
這是法照大師引用慈愍大師的偈文，解釋《無量壽經》第十八願的含義。
(2) Explanation
（二）釋義
‘At the causal ground, that Buddha has brought forth these magnificent vows’: That Buddha Amitabha Buddha was known as Dharmakara Bhikshu. He has brought forth the expansive and magnificent great Vows. Generally speaking, the magnificent vows refer to the forty-eight Vows. Here, Great Master Fa Zhao has specially pointed out the 18th Vow. ‘Magnificent’ means expansive and limitless, inclusive of all living beings. ‘On my attainment of Buddhahood, if…’ refers to the vows. ‘if they cannot attain a rebirth, I will not certify to Proper Enlightenment.’ ‘If living beings in the ten directions cannot attain a rebirth when they call my Name, I swear that I will not accomplish Buddhahood!’ This is called ‘swearing’. It is known as the ‘taking an oath, making Vows.’ It is a serious matter.
「彼佛因中立弘誓」：彼阿彌陀佛因中叫法藏比丘，建立了弘廣的大願。「弘誓」，總的來講，指四十八願；法照大師在這裡特別指第十八願。「弘」是廣大無邊，任何眾生都包含在內。第十八願：「設我得佛」就是願；「若不生者，不取正覺」——「如果十方眾生稱我名號不得往生，我誓不成佛！」這叫「誓」，合稱「誓願」，非常殷重。
‘I will surely come forth to welcome you if you have heard my Name, if you are calling my Name.’ This is a brief explanation of the 18th Vow. The merits and virtues of hearing my Name is inconceivable. Living beings who recite my Name Namo Amitabha Buddha are all welcome by him to his Western World of Ultimate Bliss. No one is left out. ‘surely’ means no one is left out.
「聞名念我總迎來」：這是簡略地解釋第十八願。聽聞我的名號功德不可思議，念我阿彌陀佛的名號的眾生，通通被迎接到西方極樂世界去，沒有一個遺漏在外。「總」是一個不漏。
Below, four verses are used to explain the ‘living beings of the ten directions’ in the 18th Vow.
‘He does not differentiate if you are poor or rich:’ ’differentiate’ means to pick and choose. ‘or’ means whether, either. Dharmakara Bhikshu has brought the vows, ‘I will surely come forth to welcome you if you have heard my Name, if you are calling my Name.’ He does not differentiate, choose or pick, saying, ‘This is a poor man. I will not save him. That is a rich man, I will save him.’ This is not the way! There is no differentiation in poverty and wealthiness.’ This is the meaning of ‘he does not differentiate if you are poor or rich’
下面用四句話解釋第十八願的「十方眾生」。
「不簡貧窮將富貴」：「簡」是挑選、揀擇，「將」是又、且。法藏比丘「聞名念我總迎來」的誓願，並不分別、挑選：「這個貧窮的，我不救；那個富貴的，我救」——不是這樣！沒有貧富的差別，這叫「不簡貧窮將富貴」。
‘If you are with low mentality or are very talented’: ‘with low mentality means a man with inferior root potential who is lacking in wisdom, who is not knowledgeable. ‘talented’ refers to a man with great wisdom, who is of superior root and sharp wisdom. According to Dharmakara Bhikshu, he has vowed that, ‘Whether you are with little wisdom or are very talented, if you have heard of my Name and are mindful of me, I will come forth to welcome every one of you.’
「不簡下智與高才」：「下智」，下等根機、智慧低劣、無智無識的人；「高才」，高等智慧、上根利智的人。法藏比丘的誓願，「不管是下智人、高才人，你聞名念我，我通通來迎」。
‘He does not differentiate if you are greatly learned, that you have upheld the pure precepts. He does not differentiate if you have transgressed the precepts and are heavy in sinful root.’：You are well-learned and you recite Namo Amitabha Buddha, I will come forth to welcome you. You have little learning but you recite Namo Amitabha Buddha, I also come forth to welcome you. You uphold the pure precepts strictly and recite Namo Amitabha Buddha, I will come forth to welcome you. If you have transgressed the precepts, that you are very sinful. But if you recite the Buddha’s Name, I will also come to welcome you. Amitabha Buddha does not choose and pick. He does not differentiate who you are as he bestows his Great Kindness equally to all. This resembles the sun which shines on the good men and it also shines on the evil men. Amitabha Buddha lights of kindness shine forth equally, taking pity on all Amitabha reciters, rescuing all Amitabha reciters. For a wealthy man whose richness is the greatest in the country, if he does not recite Namo Amitabha Buddha, he cannot attain a rebirth. For a beggar who does not have any money if he recites Namo Amitabha Buddha exclusively, he can arrive at the World of Ultimate Bliss.
「不簡多聞持淨戒，不簡破戒罪根深」：你廣學多聞念佛，我來迎；少學寡聞念佛，我也來迎。你嚴持淨戒念佛，我來迎；破戒罪深念佛，我也來迎。阿彌陀佛沒有選擇，沒有分別，平等大慈。如同太陽的光明，照著善人，也照惡人。阿彌陀佛平等慈光憐憫、救度一切念佛人。富翁，富可敵國，不念佛，不能往生；乞丐，不名一文，專修念佛，能到極樂世界。
‘As long as you turn over a new leaf to recite abundant Buddha’s Name,’ ‘As long as’ seems very simple. ‘As long as you act this way’. ‘Turning over a new leaf’ are important words. It means that you have a change of mind. You have turned around from the former thoughts which rely on self-effort. Now, you only rely on Amitabha Buddha. You do not feel inferior, neither do you become arrogant. All the poor men, rich people, men with little wisdom, talented men, men with wide learnings, with little learnings, people who uphold the precepts, who have transgressed the precepts should have a change in mind. ‘To recite lots of Namo Amitabha Buddha’ means to recite exclusively, continually. They enjoy and love to recite Namo Amitabha Buddha.
「但使迴心多念佛」：「但使」，聽起來很簡單，「你只要這樣」；「迴心」這兩個字很重要，迴心轉意，迴轉原來靠自己的心，來靠阿彌陀佛，既沒有下劣想，也不起高慢想。貧窮、富貴，下智、高才，多聞、寡聞，持戒、破戒，都要迴心。「多念佛」就是專念佛，相續念佛，念佛不嫌多。
‘lots’ is a general trend of practice, without limitation. This is because the root potential of living beings is different. Some are busy while others are relaxed. If we set ten thousand as lots of recitation, some might not reach it. While others might feel too little.
「多」，是一個大致的方向，沒有限定。因為眾生根機各有不等，時間各有忙閑，如果定一萬句為多，有人達不到，還有人嫌太少。
So, here is only a general trend in practice. We have to set a demand on oneself. As it is spoken by Great Master Shandao, ‘Setting a demand on yourself to recite diligently throughout the whole life.’ This is known as ‘lots of recitation.’
所以，這裡只是一個大方向，自己要求自己。像善導大師所說的「勵心克己，畢命為期」，這叫「多念佛」。
The poor man might feel this way, ‘I do not have money to accrue merits and virtues. I am afraid I cannot attain a rebirth just by reciting the Buddha’s Name.’ Is this the right way of thinking?’ The answer is no! We must turn around and let Amitabha Buddha decide, ‘I am poor and I cannot afford to give a lot. But I recite Namo Amitabha Buddha. Amitabha Buddha will surely come to welcome me!’ It is unnecessary to spend lots of money. Amitabha recitation is a Dharma Door that a poor man can afford to practise. We do not have to spend money to buy this Name. Talking about this, if we need to buy the six syllables Name, how much money should we spend? So, it is not because of being poor or rich. The poorer the man, the more we need to rescue him, to relieve him. Dharmakara Bhikshu has thus said,
‘In the immeasurable Kalpas, if I do not become a great donor to relieve the poor pervasively, I vow not to accomplish the Equal Enlightenment.’
貧窮的人會覺得「我沒有錢作功德，像我這樣光念佛怕不能往生吧」，這個心對不對呢？這個心不對！要迴轉過來，任憑阿彌陀佛：「我雖然窮，不能大布施，但是，我念阿彌陀佛，阿彌陀佛必定接引我！」不用花錢，窮人能修得起的法門，就是念佛法門。這句名號不用花錢買。話講回來，這句六字名號，如果花錢買，花多少錢能買得來呢？所以，不在於我們是貧窮還是富貴，甚至越是貧窮的越要救濟。法藏比丘說：
我於無量劫，不為大施主，
普濟諸貧苦，誓不成等覺。
All of us are the poor men who are lacking in wealth, lacking in merits and virtues. We do not have the merits and virtues of Dharma wealth. As long as we can recite Namo Amitabha Buddha, Amitabha Buddha will rescue us to the World of Ultimate Bliss. If we have to rely on building the temples, cultivating the merits and virtues only we can arrive at the World of Ultimate Bliss, only the rich men are qualified to be born there. This is not the case.
不論在財富上，還是在功德上，我們都是窮人，沒有功德法財。只要念佛，阿彌陀佛就會救度我們到極樂世界去。如果靠建寺院、作功德才可以到極樂世界，那麼，只有富人才有資格了——不是這樣。
Even the rich men must also have a change of mind. As it is said, ‘It is not easy for the rich to practise the path.’ These words are true indeed. When a man is rich, he is high in status and he is honoured by others. It will be difficult for him to learn the Buddha Dharma. One reason is that he is very arrogant, feeling that he is higher than others, that he is very special. Another reason is it is not easy for him to encounter the genuinely Good Knowing Adviser. He might have many friends but they come not because of learning the path. They come for money. Internally, he is arrogant and externally, there is a lack in good affinities. Besides, as he is rich, happy and at ease, he will only fall into enjoyment. This is very difficult for him to cultivate the Path. The rich men feel this way, ‘I have donated lots of money. I have accrued lots of merits and virtues. So, I am qualified for a place in the World of Ultimate Bliss.’ Can this be the proper view? This is improper. He must have a change of mind, ‘Though I have cultivated lots of merits and virtues in the Buddha Door, they are the merits and virtues with leakage. They are incomparable to the merits and virtues of the six-syllables Buddha’s Name.’ So, a rich man must put down the mind to rely on his own effort. He must learn to be humble, to have a change of mind to recite Namo Amitabha Buddha sincerely.
富貴人，也要迴心。「富貴學道難」這句話確實不假。有錢，地位顯貴，難以學佛。一方面是因為他有驕慢心，覺得自己高人一等，比別人優越。另一方面不容易遇到真善知識，雖然有許多朋友，但不是為道而來，而是為錢而來。內存驕慢，外缺善緣，加上富樂自在，耽於享受，這樣學道就很困難。富貴人覺得「我布施了多少錢，作了多大的功德，所以我到極樂世界有分」，這樣的想法正確嗎？不正確。要迴心轉意：「縱然我在佛門裡作了功德，但這還是有為有漏的功德，與六字名號的功德無法相比。」所以，富貴人要把那種自我倚仗的心放下來，謙卑下來，迴心老實念佛。
A man with little wisdom is often enveloped in inferiority. He is thinking, ‘I am so stupid and deluded. I have no wisdom. How am I going to attain a rebirth?’ He must also have a change of mind. The rescue of Amitabha Buddha does not depend on how cultured you are, how many Sutras you have read, whether you are a university lecturer. These are not taking into consideration. Even though you are stupid, deluded, low and inferior, there is no difference for you to attain a rebirth in the Pure Land. People who are simple -minded, deluded, with little wisdom can believe in the Pure Land Dharma Door easily. Great Master Yin Guang has thus said, ‘Two types of people can have faith in the Pure Land Dharma Door easily. They can easily become the honest Amitabha reciters. Who are the two types of people? The first type is the wise men. The second type refers to people who are simple and a lack of wisdom. These are the two extremes: the wisest and stupidest.
下智的人往往心存卑劣：「我這樣愚癡，沒有智慧，怎麼能往生呢？」這樣的心要迴轉。阿彌陀佛的救度，不是看你有多少文化、讀了多少經典、是不是大學教授，不是看這些。雖然愚癡卑劣，往生淨土沒有差別。愚癡少智的人往往比較容易和淨土法門相應。印光大師講：淨土法門，兩種人最相應，最容易成為老實念佛人。哪兩種人呢？一種是上智的人，一種是下愚的人——最上智慧的和最下愚癡的，這兩個極端。
Only the wisest and the stupidest would practise Amitabha recitation persistently.
Once these two types of people are resolute and firm in the exclusive cultivation of Amitabha recitation. No one can change them. Why is this so? The wisest men have widely studied all the teachings and Sutras, penetrating all the Dharma Doors. They know that only the Dharma Door of Amitabha recitation is the best. So, they can be honest in their practice, reciting the Name of the Buddha, relying totally on the Original Vows of Amitabha Buddha without taking a side glance. These wisest men are such like Nagarjuna Bodhisattva, Vasubandhu Bodhisattva, Great Master Tan Luang, Great Master Dao Chuo, Great Master Shandao. Why do those who are stupidest recite Namo Amitabha Buddha honestly? They say, ‘I do not know much. I can only recite Namo Amitabha Buddha!’ Can you still remember the story I have told you previously, the story ‘Do have mercy on me, Amitabha Buddha’?
唯上智與下愚不移。
這兩種人一旦專修念佛了，他的志向堅定，不能改變。為什麼呢？上等智慧的，廣研一切經教，通達一切法門，知道唯有念佛法門最好，所以他能老老實實專念這句名號，仰仗彌陀本願，心無旁騖，像龍樹菩薩、天親菩薩、曇鸞大師、道綽大師、善導大師。下愚的人為什麼可以做老實念佛人呢？「我什麼都不會，我只有念佛！」上次講了「阿彌陀佛你可饒了我」的故事，大家還記得嗎？
There was an elderly lady who had put in lots of effort trying to attain a rebirth. She heard people saying this, ‘If you cannot recite the Sutras, you cannot attain a rebirth.’ She was illiterate. She did not want to trouble others to teach her just in case they might get irritated. So, she asked her daughter, ‘Please check the dictionary for me and tell me how to pronounce this word.’
Her daughter is not a Buddhist. She asked, ‘Mum, you are so old already. Are you taking examination in the Buddhist University?’
‘You do not understand! Just tell me how to pronounce it.’ So, she spent lots of effort learning Amitabha Sutra. Then she learnt a Mantra. It is so hard for her. Later, she had a chance to learn the Pure Land Principles as explained by Great Master Shandao, and understood that whatever kind of potential a person can be, if he recites Namo Amitabha Buddha exclusively, he will attain a rebirth. Immediately, she turned to the western direction and hit her head hard on the ground three times, ‘Oh, Amitabha Buddha, you have mercy on me! You have mercy on me!’ For the sake of attaining a rebirth, she copied the Sutra every day, memorized the Sutra, checked the dictionary. It is truly hard for her. She was so afflicted.
有位老太婆，為了往生，費了好大勁。聽說不會誦經不能往生，她又不識字，問人家又怕人家不耐煩，就問她女兒：「幫我查查字典，告訴我這個字怎麼讀。」
她女兒還沒入佛門，說：「媽，你這麼大年紀了，你還要考佛教大學啊？」
「你不懂！你告訴我怎麼念就好了。」她費了好大勁，學了《阿彌陀經》，還學了一個咒，非常辛苦。後來她聽了善導大師闡釋的淨土教理，得知任何根機專修念佛一定往生，她馬上向西方磕了三個響頭：「阿彌陀佛，你可饒了我了！你可饒了我了！」她為了求往生，每天抄啊，背啊，查字典啊，非常艱難，非常苦惱。
Then, there is another lotus friend. What does she study? She is nearly seventy and she is learning the ‘Expansive Treatise of the Sequential Bodhi Path.’ She has already no time to learn all these! What time does she have, with impermanence before her eyes, with the yellow mud nearly covering up her neck? What she should swiftly do is to recite Namo Amitabha Buddha! For the sake of doing her assignment, every night she studies the book and takes notes. The next day, she must answer questions. She said, ‘I wake up at three every morning. At night, I have to study until very late. I was so tired, sweating all over!’ All these happen just because she can read. If she cannot read, she will surely recite Namo Amitabha Buddha honestly, am I right? This happens all because she does not understand the root, the source of the Dharma Door. If she can understand, people with little wisdom can simply recite Namo Amitabha Buddha just like us, in accord with our identity. This is good enough.
還有一位蓮友，學什麼呢？快七十歲了，在學《菩提道次第廣論》。學這些，來不及了！無常就在眼前，你現在黃土都快埋到脖子了，哪來得及啊？要趕緊念佛！結果她為了交作業，每天晚上都要看書，還要做筆記，第二天要回答問題。她說：「三點鐘就要起床，晚上有時要學到半夜，累得渾身是汗，太累了！」就因為她認識幾個字，她要是不認識這幾個字，不就老實念佛了嗎？這都是不瞭解法門的根源。瞭解了，下智的人就以我們的身分老實念佛就好。
In Xuan Cheng, an old lady by the Name Yao Chun Lin attained a rebirth in the Pure Land at 84. She is an illiterate and she is very pious. As her ancestors have faith in the Buddha, she is influenced by the Buddha teaching from a very young age. But she does not understand the Buddha’s principles and she only knows how to pray with incense and bowing. During the Cultural revolution, no one is allowed to believe in the Buddha, no one can make offerings to the Buddha. So, secretly she burnt incense in the hole of the mud stove, to make offerings to Avalokiteshvara Bodhisattva. As the kitchen stove belongs to the Kitchen God, she prayed to the Kitchen God and said, ‘Kitchen God Bodhisattva. I do not have a place to burn incense for Avalokiteshvara Bodhisattva. Do you mind if I burn the incense at your place?’ It looks as though she is very stupid. Actually, she is very kind, abiding by her position. After the Cultural Revolution, people are free to have their own faith. At the beginning, she was quite worried, that the law of the Government prohibits her faith. So, she still conducts her prayer secretly. After some time, her daughter told her, ‘What era is it now, that you are still hiding your prayers? Now, we are free to believe in the Buddha. Mother should simply make offerings to the Buddha openly.’ Only then did she bring the Bodhisattva out to make offerings. But she still does not know the aim of learning the Buddha Dharma. She only knows she must be kind and accrue virtues, besides helping others. Later, a lotus friend told her, ‘Old lady is so sincere in your prayers. How come you do not recite Namo Amitabha Buddha?’
宣城有位老太太叫姚春林，八十四歲往生淨土。她一個大字不識，人很虔誠，因為祖上信佛，所以從小受過佛教的影響，但是不明佛理，只是燒香拜拜。「文革」時期不准信佛，不准供佛。她就在土灶的鍋洞裡偷偷地點香供觀音菩薩。因為灶上屬於灶王爺的地盤，她就跟灶王爺打招呼說：「灶王菩薩，我沒有地方給觀音菩薩燒香，就借你這個地方燒一燒，你沒有意見吧？」她這個心，好像挺愚鈍，其實很善良，很本分。「文革」之後，信仰自由了，一開始她還有點怕，還怕政策再不讓信佛，還是偷偷的。日子久了，她的女兒說：「這都什麼年代了，你還偷偷摸摸的？現在信佛自由了，你可以放心大膽供佛了。」這樣她才請菩薩來供。但是，她還是不知道學佛的目的，只知道行善積德，為人要善良。後來一位蓮友對她說：「老人家這麼虔誠！你怎麼不知道念佛啊？」
She asked, ‘What Buddha should I recite?’
‘Recite Namo Amitabha Buddha!’
‘Oh! Recite Amitabha Buddha, but I am praying to Avalokiteshvara Bodhisattva.’
‘Besides making offerings to Avalokiteshvara Bodhisattva, you should recite Amitabha Buddha, to seek a rebirth in the Western World of Ultimate Bliss.’ Only then that she managed to hear about the World of Ultimate Bliss. At that time, she was already eighty-one -year- old. After another two months only then she began to recite Namo Amitabha Buddha at home, phrase after phrase. Besides, she also got herself a recital device. She still continued to recite Namo Amitabha Buddha. But in her heart, there is still some doubts. A lotus friend came to tell me, ‘The elderly lady Yao is a very pious woman. But she is still very worried about her qualification to go to the World of Ultimate Bliss. Besides, she has not met with any left home people her whole life. Now, she is very ill. I think it will not take long. Can Shifu go to see her as she wishes so much to see a Shifu.’ I listened to this and felt that she was a worthy lady. I went to see her. On seeing me, she put her palms together respectfully and we started chatting.
She said, ‘I am afraid that I am not qualified. I am illiterate. I do not know any Sutras either. Do you think Amitabha Buddha want people like me?’
I told her, ‘Yes, Amitabha Buddha wants you! As long as you recite Namo Amitabha Buddha, Amitabha Buddha will take all in! He welcomes you to go as you are his precious child!’
On hearing this, she was so happy and said, ‘It is so good! It is so good! It is so good!’ She exclaimed three times. You see, this is having ripe good roots. After hearing my words, she has no doubts at all. She continues to recite Namo Amitabha Buddha whole-heartedly.
她問：「念什麼佛啊？」
「念阿彌陀佛！」
「哦！念阿彌陀佛——我供的是觀音菩薩。」
「供觀音菩薩，你也要念阿彌陀佛，要求生西方極樂世界。」她這才聽說極樂世界。這個時候，她已經八十一歲了。又過了兩個月，她才開始念南無阿彌陀佛，一句一句在家裡念，還請了念佛機。念歸念，她心裡還是有疑惑。一位蓮友就來跟我講：「這位姚老太太，人很虔誠，但是就怕自己不夠格，不能到極樂世界。另外，她一輩子沒有見過出家人，她現在病得很重，估計差不多快要走了。師父是不是去看看她，她很想見見出家人。」我一聽，感覺她很可貴，我就去了。她一看見出家人，就恭敬合掌，然後就跟我聊上了。
她說：「我怕不行啊，我一個字也不認識，什麼經都不會，像我這樣的人，阿彌陀佛要嗎？」
我說：「阿彌陀佛要啊！你只要念佛，阿彌陀佛一個不漏！非常歡迎你去，把你當寶貝！」
她一聽就高興了：「那就好！那就好！那就好！」連講三遍。你看，這就是善根成熟了，講了她就不懷疑，就專心念這句名號。
She was down with the last stage of liver cancer. Liver cancer (Hepatocellular carcinoma) is a very painful disease. But she did not have the pain. She only felt numbness in the area around the liver. When the two daughters came home, she would ask them to recite Namo Amitabha Buddha. One day, the two daughters were sitting by her side. The younger daughter recited softly but the eldest daughter was silent. The old lady was not happy, asking her the reason for not reciting. The eldest daughter was shameful when her mother asked her and answered, ‘Mother, I recited in my heart.’
她是肝癌晚期——肝癌是很痛的，但是她身上一點痛苦都沒有，只是肝部有點麻木的感覺。兩個女兒一回來，她就叫她們念佛。一天，兩個女兒在旁邊，小女兒小聲念，大女兒沒張口，老太太就不高興了，問她怎麼不念佛。大女兒被媽媽這一問，不好意思了，說：「媽，我在心裡念。」
‘What do you mean you are reciting with your heart? Why can’t you open your mouth?’ She did not allow her to recite in her mind, asking her to open her mouth to recite.
Her children are mostly very filial. Once they reached home, she would say, ‘Everyone recite Namo Amitabha Buddha. Do not talk other nonsense.’ So, everyone also recited Namo Amitabha Buddha. After sometimes, she was too ill. The lotus friends went over to conduct aided recitation. At that time, the weather was especially hot, around August. The lotus friends recited six syllable words she would recite six syllable words. The lotus friends recited four syllable words she would recite four syllable words, ‘Amitabha, Amitabha… ‘When the recitation was loud, she would be loud too. Sometimes, she even sat up to recite Namo Amitabha Buddha, following our recitation. In such a situation, it looked as though she was leading the lotus friends to recite Amitabha Buddha. Though the weather was so hot, lotus friends who joined the aided recitation said instead, ‘This is the only old lady who have made us so energetic in aided recitation!’ No one was talking. Everyone recited Namo Amitabha Buddha for the whole session.
「什麼在心裡念？你為什麼不能開口啊？」她不許她在心裡念，叫她開口念。
她家裡的孩子都挺孝順的。一回到家裡，她就說：「你們都念佛，其他事不要閒扯。」大家都念佛。這樣過了一段時間，說是不行了，蓮友們去助念。那時候天氣特別熱，我記得是八月分。蓮友助念，她隨你怎麼念：你唱六個字，她也唱六個字；你念四個字，她也念四個字，「阿彌陀佛，阿彌陀佛……」；你要是念大聲，她也念大聲。有時候她還坐起來念佛，跟著我們的聲音。那種情形，簡直就是她在帶蓮友念佛。雖然天那麼熱，助念的蓮友卻說：「這樣的老太婆，我們為她助念，感到就是有勁！」大家一句閒話都沒有，一句佛號念到底。
I was getting ready to go to Nanking the next day. So, I do not have the chance to send her. On that day itself, she passed away early in the morning. Later, I went over to see her and she looked very good. She had passed away in the most supreme way, in the most adorned manner! Her hands and bones were softer than baby just as if she was boneless. Everyone went forth to shake hands with her. After the cremation, there appeared the relic, the relic flowers. After such an experience, her two daughters started to have faith in the Buddha. The whole family including the old and young members, males and females come to a few tens in number take vegetarian food for forty -nine days on her behalf. She is truly a very wonderful lady! This is a lady with low wisdom. She is illiterate but she has attained a rebirth in the Pue Land. So, we can see it does not depend on our cultural level to attain a rebirth.
我當時要準備第二天去南京，就沒有機會送她走。就是那一天，她清早往生了。後來我去看她，她的面色、氣韻非常好，走得非常殊勝，非常莊嚴！手和骨節簡直比嬰兒還柔軟，就好像沒有骨頭一樣，所有的人都跑去跟她握手。火化之後，還得到舍利子、舍利花。有了這個經歷，她的兩個女兒都開始信佛了，家裡的男女老少，大大小小一共幾十口人，都為她吃素四十九天。所以，她也是很了不起的！這就是下智的人、沒有文化的人往生淨土。可見，不是靠我們的文化程度去往生。
There is another interesting story. In Zhejiang, Cixi, there is a Upasika by the surname Yan. Her hometown is Zhejiang Yu Yao. Her neighbour at her hometown is an old lady, by the surname Chen. So, she calls her Chen Po. Chen Po is different from other people. Ever since she was young, Upasika Yan has been seeing Chen Po enjoy Amitabha recitation. She recites on her own, without any guidance. Anyway, who is going to teach her Amitabha recitation? Maybe it is passed down from her ancestors, that she knows there is the Buddha Dharma. But she does not know about the attainment of a rebirth in the World of Ultimate Bliss. She only likes to recite, ‘Amitabha, Amitabha, Amitabha…’throughout the days and nights. One day, Upasika Yan has learnt the Buddha Dharma and she thinks of the old lady in her hometown. She went home to visit her mother. Then she said to Chen Po, ‘A Po, it is good to recite Namo Amitabha Buddha! Do you know about the World of Ultimate Bliss?’
還有一個故事也很生動。在浙江慈溪，有一位姓嚴的居士，老家是浙江余姚。她老家隔壁有一位阿婆，姓陳，她就喊她「陳婆」。這位陳婆跟別人不一樣，嚴居士小的時候就看見陳婆喜歡念佛。她念佛也沒有人教，那時候誰教她念佛呢？她大概 也是祖上帶來的，知道有佛法，但是不知道往生極樂世界，就喜歡念佛，「阿彌陀佛，阿彌陀佛，阿彌陀佛……」一天到晚念。嚴居士後來學佛了，就想起老家還有這麼一位老太婆，回去探望母親的時候，她就對陳婆講：「阿婆，你念佛好啊！你知道極樂世界嗎？」
Chen Po answered, ‘I do not know.’ Upasika Yan is very expedient in her way. She knows A Po believes that a man will go to hell after his death. So, she asked, ‘Do you know after passing away, we must go to see the King Yama?’ ‘Yes, I know.’
陳婆回答：「我不知道。」
嚴居士比較善巧，她知道阿婆相信人死後有下地獄這回事，就問：「你知道人死了要去閻羅王那裡嗎？」
「那我知道。」
Again, she asked, ‘Are you afraid to go to see the King Yama?’ She answered, ‘That is not good! I do not want to go there.’
She said, ‘The World of Ultimate Bliss is a good place. It is better than the heavens. If you go to the World of Ultimate Bliss, then, you do not have to go to the place of King Yama. Do you want to go?’
‘Yes, of course, I want to go!’
她又問：「去閻羅王那裡怕不怕？」
「那當然不好！不願意。」
她說：「極樂世界是非常好的地方，比天上還好。到了極樂世界就不用到閻羅王那裡去了。你要不要去呀？」
「那好啊，那我當然要去！」
Chen Po is that simple. She knows there is the World of Ultimate Bliss. She does not want to go to the place of King Yama to undergo judgement. With this kind of mind, she recited Namo Amitabha Buddha, Namo Amitabha buddha… from morning till night. This is the first time she has heard about the World of Ultimate Bliss, that by reciting Namo Amitabha Buddha, we can go there.
陳婆就很簡單，知道有一個極樂世界、不要到閻羅王那裡去審判，就懷著這樣的心念佛——南無阿彌陀佛，南無阿彌陀佛……一天到晚念。這是她第一次聽到念佛可以到極樂世界。
Later, Upasika Yan went back to her hometown again and her mother told her, ‘Our neighbour A Po is sick. She is on the bed. Do go and take a look at her!’ Upasika Yan went over to see her and found that she did not recite Namo Amitabha Buddha on the bed. Upasika Yan asked, ‘A Po, you like Amitabha recitation so much. Now, why are you not reciting?’ She asked, ‘Can I recite Namo Amitabha Buddha while lying on the bed?’
後來，嚴居士又回老家一趟，她媽媽說：「隔壁的阿婆病了，躺在床上，你去看看吧！」嚴居士就去看她，見她躺在床上不念佛。嚴居士說：「阿婆，你這麼喜歡念佛，現在怎麼不念佛啊？」
她說：「躺在床上也能念佛嗎？」
Upasika Yan told her, ‘No problem! You are sick now. So, it is inconvenient. Amitabha Buddha does not mind. You can lie on the bed to recite Namo Amitabha Buddha.’
She said, ‘I am worried that I should not recite on the bed. I wanted to recite but I dared not do it. It is so good for you to tell me this. I believe in you. I have seen you growing up before me and I know you will not lie to me.’ Good! She started to recite Namo Amitabha Buddha again.
嚴居士就跟她說：「沒關係！你現在生病不方便，阿彌陀佛不嫌棄，你躺在床上也好念佛的！」
她說：「我就怕不能念佛，我想念還不敢念。你這樣告訴我就好了，我相信你講的話，我從小看著你長大的，知道你不騙人。」好！她又開始念佛。
After the passing by of one more month, Upasika Yan’s mother told her, ‘Our neighbour A Po has already passed away. She has left in such a supremely wonderful way.’
又過了一個多月，嚴居士的媽媽說：「隔壁的阿婆走了，走得非常殊勝。」
No one in the old lady’s home believes in the Buddha. Before she left, she told her daughter the time she would be leaving.’ But her daughter did not believe in her. She said, ‘Mother, you look so good. Where are you going?’ She did not take her words seriously. So, she passed away silently, with no aided recitation. When her daughter came back and found that her mother had already passed away. But her body is still very soft. She was very frightened because she had no faith in the Buddha. She did not know what has happened. She ran to see Upasika Yan’s Mother, her neighbour and said, ‘Do come and see what has happened to my mother. Is she death already or still alive? Why is her body so soft?’ You see, this is a very common old lady who is not cultured, who only recite Namo Amitabha Buddha exclusively. She took care of her recitation and she left in such a supremely wonderful way.
老婆婆家裡沒有人信佛，她走的時候提前告訴女兒她什麼時候要走。女兒不相信：「你精神好得很，你往哪裡去啊？」沒當一回事兒。她是一個人悄悄走的，沒有人助念。她女兒跑回來一看，媽媽死了，身上還是軟的，就害怕了，因為不信佛、不瞭解怎麼回事，就跑到隔壁找嚴居士的媽媽：「你看看我媽怎麼回事，是死還是沒死？怎麼身上是稀軟稀軟的？」你看，就這麼一個平常的老太太，沒有文化，專修念佛，守著這句名號，走得非常殊勝。
Great Master Yin Guang said that he had been travelling tens of thousand miles to and fro from the south to the north. He has met with lots of people. In most cases, Amitabha reciters who are honest, simple will pass away peacefully and at ease, even though there is no manifestation of lights or auspicious marks. But those who has penetrated the sects and teachings, who look down on the Pure Land practitioners, who are very well-known often leave the world in a pitiful and chaotic way. At the last moment of life, the well-versed ones, the wise ones suffer a loss in comparison to the uneducated ones, the ones with no wisdom. You may be winning now, but at last you will lose. This is not good.
印光大師講，他走南闖北，往返萬餘里，見過很多人，往往是老實愚癡的念佛人，即使走的時候沒有什麼放光動地的瑞相，但最起碼都走得安詳自在；那些通宗通教、蔑視淨土的人，雖然有很大的名聲，但是走的時候總是呼爹叫娘。到最後，有學問、有智慧的人反而輸給沒有學問、沒有智慧的人。大家不要現在贏過人家，到最後輸給人家，那就不好了。
Of course, if the wise ones are not proud of his wisdom, in the way just as described by Great Master Yin Guang, that he is able to put down his body and mind, that he recites Namo Amitabha Buddha sincerely just like the common old ladies, his wisdom will be much more supreme. This is because not only he can attain a rebirth, he can also propagate the Dharma to benefit living beings. This is much better.
當然，有智慧的人如果不倚恃自己的智慧，像印光大師所說的，也能夠放下身心，老老實實學一般的老太太來念佛，他的智慧就更加殊勝。因為他不僅可以自己往生，還可以弘法利生，那就更好了。
The ones with great learning should have a change of mind. They should not be so proud of their knowledge that they refuse to recite Namo Amitabha Buddha. They should think this way, ‘My knowledge and understanding are very limited. Even Manjushri Bodhisattva, Samantabhadra Bodhisattva are also seeking to attain a rebirth in the Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss, what is more so for a common man like me?’ They should transform the mind of arrogance to seek a rebirth in the World of Ultimate Bliss.
多聞的人，也要迴心，不要認為自己廣學多聞，就可以不念佛。應該說：「我們的智解很有限，文殊菩薩、普賢菩薩都求生極樂淨土，何況我這個庸庸凡夫呢？」迴轉高慢的心，求生極樂世界。
Those who uphold the precepts should also have a change of mind to seek a rebirth in the Western World of Ultimate Bliss. By doing so, their Brahman conduct will be guaranteed. They are confirmed to attain Buddhahood.
How about those who have transgressed the precepts, who are deep in sinful karmas? Most of them will feel that they are finished, ‘I am finished. I am sure to fall down!’ May be Amitabha Buddha will not rescue people such like me.’ This type of thinking is improper too. They should have a change of mind. With a mind of regrets and repentance they should say, ‘I am heavy in sinful karmas. With a root potential like me, I am sure I will fall down! Only Amitabha Buddha who is Greatly kind and Compassionate can rescue me with this root potential. So, I will have a change of mind to rely totally on Amitabha Buddha. In every thought, I am mindful of the Buddha, reciting His Name to seek a rebirth in the Western Land.’ People such like are confirmed to attain a rebirth too.
持淨戒的人，也要迴心求生西方極樂世界，這樣才能保證梵行清淨，決定成佛。
破戒的、罪業深厚的人呢？一般會覺得「完了，我要墮落了！我這樣的人，阿彌陀佛可能不救。」這樣的心也是不正確的，也要迴心轉意。應該懷著慚愧心和懺悔心：「我罪業深重，以我這樣的根機，肯定要墮落！現在只有阿彌陀佛大慈大悲，能夠救度我這樣的根機。所以，我的心迴轉過來，投靠阿彌陀佛，念念念佛，求生西方。」這樣也決定往生。
During the Song Dynasty, there was a monk by the name Ying Ke. It was recorded in the ‘General records of the Buddha.’ Dharma Master Ying Ke had left the homelife. But he did not abide the Buddha’s precepts and pure rules and had many transgressions.
宋朝有一位出家師父，名叫瑩珂，在《佛祖統紀》裡有記載。瑩珂法師雖然出了家，但是在戒律方面毀犯很多，沒有按照佛法的清規戒律來做。
After some time, he realized his faults, ‘Oh dear! I am in troubles. I continue to drink wine, to eat meat. Besides, I have transgressed many other precepts. I am indeed leaving the homelife in vain. I am very sure I will fall into the evil paths!’ He was very frightened as he had not bothered to learn any Dharma Door. In fact, his mind was not on the Path. Now he had an awakening and he borrowed a book from his Dharma brothers. It is the ‘Biography on attaining a rebirth.’ After he had read the book, he heaved a sigh of relief, ‘I see! By reciting Namo Amitabha Buddha I can attain a rebirth in the Western World of Ultimate Bliss!’ He immediately had a change of mind and became very diligent in Amitabha recitation. He swore that he would not eat nor drink for seven days, ‘My sins are too severe. It is most frightening to fall into the hell! Since I can go to the West by reciting Namo Amitabha Buddha, I have better go now, reciting the Buddha’s Name now!’ After bringing forth this mind, he closed his doors and recited Namo Amitabha Buddha by himself in the room.
過了一段時間，他良心發現：「麻煩了！像我這樣子，酒肉也沒有斷，其他戒也多有毀犯，我豈不是白白出家一場！豈不是要墮落惡道！」心中就很恐慌。他沒修學過什麼法門，因為沒有道心嘛。現在醒悟了，他就向同住的道友借了一部《往生傳》，看過之後非常感慨：「原來念佛可以往生西方極樂世界！」他一轉變過來，就勇猛念佛，發誓七天不吃不喝：「我造罪太重了，墮落地獄不得了！念佛能到西方，乾脆現在就念著佛去！」發了這樣的心，就把門關起來，一個人在房間裡念佛。
After three days, he had a dream of Amitabha Buddha who came to tell him this, ‘You can still live another ten years. After ten years, I will come again to welcome you. You should be diligent.’
Ying Ke Dharma Master said, ‘Amitabha Buddha! I am this man with inferior root, with no wisdom. I am afraid after such a long time I might lose my Proper mindfulness and start to commit sins of decay. Please help me, Amitabha Buddha who is kind and compassionate. Do bring me along earlier. I do not want to live another ten years.’ This is the genuine mind to seek a rebirth in the Western World of Ultimate Bliss. This is bringing forth the courageous mind of diligence.

Forgotten in the deep midst of a wine dark sea was the Mistwatch isles. Cloaked in deep fog and enveloped by rocky shores and turbulent waters, it was a quiet place isolated from the surrounding continents housing the major kingdoms and empires of elves dwarves and men. Many of the Isles people’s were descendants of peoples whose ships strayed too close and became trapped on its misty shores. Many considered it a a place of dark beauty and mystery, some thought it it a cursed place. The mists draws many people in and seldom ever lets them go.
Gloomhaven, the smallest and most outlying of the isles was the seat of the city of the same name, largest settlement and thejumping off point for exploring the larger isles deeper in the mists dotted with ancient ruins of peoples long forgotten and wildernesses full of more dangerous beasts and monsters
In the corner of a lively but cozy dockside inn sat a lone young man, a dwarf clad in a pauldroned red cloak and a horned closed face helm, poking from the bottom was the end of his dark blonde beard. He was sipping a tall mug of dwarven mead, beside him a flyer was hung advertising his services as a traveling companion/mercenary. His name was Nimh, heir and one of the last survivors of the dwarven clan Firesong.
It has been a long fortnight since the downfall of his clan to the hands of the orcs that had invaded the stronghold of his uncle, the late Lord Ganon Firesong, and even though he tried to comfort himself knowing his uncle fell valliently sword in hand, it all haunted him and he was desperate for any kind of distraction while he put together a plan of action against the orcs who took his clan from him.
The Dwarf’s teal eyes scanned the room, glancing up to see that he had been so lost in his own thoughts that he had failed to notice a stranger approaching, presumably looking to hire his services.
“A fine evening to you, are you here seeking the services of a skilled dwarven fighter? Or if just light company you seek you’re also welcome.” A gruff voice spoke. Wanting to be welcoming, he scooted his chair closer to the table and used his boot to push the chair opposite of him out as a clear invitation that they were welcome to join him. Reaching his arm out form his cloak he extended his hand out “Nimh of Clan Firesong at your service.”
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Name: Nimh Firesong
Aliases/nicknames/titles: heir to the clan Firesong
Age: early 20’s
Gender: male
Race/ethnicity: dwarf
Hair: dark golden blonde, straight going down to his mid back and his beard equally long
Eyes: dark teal
Skin: pale olive
Body: 4’0” a stout build with strong but stubby arms and legs and overall on the hirsute side
Occupation: heir to a fallen clan, currently working as a traveling mercenary
Attire/possessions: on his head is a horned closed faced helm that leaves visible only his eyes and his beard poking out from under. He wears a pauldroned cloak that envelops much of his body. Under that he’s in a sleeveless tunic, leggings, and set of boots and gauntlets to match his helm. Fights with an heirloom short sword fashioned from a dragon’s fang by the his clan’s founder
Personality: Nimh is quiet mild mannered young man whom at a first glance can feel aloof as he tries to be emotionally guarded around new people, but when he’s become attached to someone he wants nothing more to be by their side, as family and friends will always be his first priority and his personal code of honor his second. He bears emotional scars from the fall of his clan and the death of his uncle, memories of that day haunting him most nights and susceptible to falling into pits of melancholia
Bio: Nimh has no memories of his parents, as they passed when he was far too little to remember them, so from when he was very young he was raised by his uncle Ganon, hesd of clan Firesong and lord of the stronghold of the same name. It was his uncle who largely shaped Nimh into the man he is today and taught him everything he knew. After tensions arouse between clan Firesong and an orc tribe over territorial disputes escalated out of control, and before they could properly prepare for battle the orcs stormed his the stronghold, leading to the fall of his clan and loss of his uncle. In the face of the horror he made what he later felt was a coward’s choice, he ran. As of now he’s on a journey of trying to avenge his clan and make peace with what’s happened, taking the slow steps to begin moving forward with his life and beginning to make new connections with others
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Hi! Thanks for taking the time to read my dnd inspired starter and character description. I’ll elaborate more on the plot.
The plot is mostly open ended and dependent on the kind of character you’ll be playing, but some of the major story beats will involve Nimh’s hunt for vengeance and the journey to being able to make peace with what happened and let go. I mostly wanted to explore this character and the world I built aoeund him
You’re welcome to make your character male or female, and I’m fine with many fantasy races, though I am particularly fond of elves dwarves drow/dark elves and kobolds. I left a lot of lore open ended for us to build upon together so feel welcome to bring your own ideas. I’m open to romance but I equally treasure close platonic friendships
My only writing requirements is that you write in the third person, no text speak, and no one word responses. Extremely long replies beyond the standard 2-4 paragraphs not required but welcome, but please be decently detailed. I'm not picky about occasional spelling/grammar mistakes.
Thank you for reading! c:

so basically i was doing this competition and before the comp we are supposed to send in our application (a document highlighting our credentials, not a registration we had already done that) or else we get points taken away.
i already had the application all set to go. and basically my instructor told me to look on the website to find where we are supposed to submit. so, i thought that for sure it would be accessible to find on the comps website!! ABSOFREAKTOTALLY NOT _(:‚‹」∠)_. and for days i kept searching for it and nada!! and ive really been trying to have this habit of not asking other people for things because i just hate being that person who is always questioning things... it makes me feel really dependent and incapable of performing my own tasks. and i guess i just assumed that it was supposed to be accessible on the website bc thats what my instructor said (in reality it could only be found through a link that the comp gave to the instructors). and i know that i should have been more proactive in trying to ask others where to find it... but also!!!!! on the sheet that we were given it said that instructors were supposed to send the link so i really feel like it's not entirely my fault. plus, it's not like anyone else had to be as proactive they were just given the link. if everyone was in the same boat as me, im sure there would have been a surge in the amount of applications not given.
also, the application was due literally a day after a vacation week so it made me feel like i had more time than i did 🤦‍♀️. and the day after it was due we had a meeting about it. like HELLO??? why wouldn't you have a meeting about it the day of to make sure everyone would be able to find the link... and i just don't get why they wouldn't send the competitors the link, like we are the ones submitting the application!!! or have the address to the link on the paper we were given about the comp's details. like im sorry your disorganized but why does this have to impact me... and is this really how ur going to weed out the competition??? like cmon please just weed us out based on our actual talents. why couldn't we just bring our application to the comp instead of submitting online also??? if it's a part of the comp then i don't see how points can be removed before the comp.
and i keep hearing "yada yada it was a learning experience." BRUH I AM SO TIRED OF ALL THESE LEARNING EXPERIENCES WHEN CAN I JUST LIVE. i don't get why this scenario or other scenarios in life have to be like this. it goes back to that one post of someone saying something along the lines of "we could have all been happy eating fruit on a field but instead humans created society." it genuinely feels like im in a stimulation and all we are doing is making life more complicated for me for no reason. and yes, it might seem like im being overdramatic but i am also taking into account other situations ive lived through. this one has just really been the last straw for me.
i am just really hoping that when we get our point results back, that those points i lost would have only gotten me to 2nd place. because im pretty sure that those points were what made me lose the comp since i was a medalist in the same comp last year. if i would have gotten 1st without losing those points, it would make me feel so much worse. and if i was going to get 1st, that doesn't mean a guaranteed 1st next year because other people could be doing better next year.

I (14f) started dating my boyfriend(14m), only three days ago. We're both high school freshmen and this is the first actual relationship I've ever had. That isn't the case for him, but that isn't really relevant to the story.
Him and I have known each other since kindergarten and have always been good friends, but the past month or two we've been closer than ever. At first, I thought nothing of it, as I have a lot of male friends and have also been under the impression that I was a lesbian for several years. He's the one that made me realize that I'm actually bi. I'm not sure when exactly I started crushing on him, but a couple weeks ago it hit me like a freight train and I didn't want to keep it to myself, because it felt like he had something for me, too. A few days ago, we were talking and I brought up my recent discovery that I am not, in fact, a lesbian. He started asking about whether or not there was someone in particular and, after some pushing, I admitted that I liked him. He said that he had been interested in me since we were in the first grade and asked how I wanted to go about everything and I told him that I wanted a relationship. That's what we agreed on.
The day before this all happened I was desperately hoping for that to be what happened. That we would get together that day and I would finally be in a relationship with someone, which I've actually wanted for a while since all of my friends had all already been in more than one. I thought I would be really happy but instead, I started panicking. At first, I thought it was just butterflies, but it's not. I feel genuinely nauseous every time I think about the fact that I'm dating him now, even though he's been nothing but good to me. I wanted this so bad, but now that it's real I just want to run away and pretend that none of this ever happened. We've been together three days, but it feels like it's been months, and not in a good way. Every time he touches me I feel like throwing up. It's some of the worst anxiety I've ever had.
I just don't know what the problem is. The moment I made the commitment and told him I wanted to date him I started feeling like this, but by then it was too late to back out, but I'm not sure why. It might be worth acknowledging that I have autism, so I'm not the biggest fan of change. I think it might be possible that this whole thing is a panic response to my life changing, but the feeling hasn't gone away. I hate it. I want to go back to the way it was before this all happened.
Next week, he wants to start telling our friends about our relationship, which is scaring me even more, because then I definitely won't be able to back out without being embarrassed, since I really don't want to be seen as one of those people who can't keep a relationship for longer than like a week, but he's so excited. I really do like him and he hasn't done anything wrong. I don't understand why this is happening at all.
Please give me advice. What's wrong with me? How do I fix this? I don't want to leave after only a few days, but I don't know how much longer I can handle it and if I don't say something soon people will already know we're together and the whole thing will be so embarrassing.

Hello! So basically, I have a 10 year old, male, tabby cat named Paul. I’ve had him for a year and Im still trying to figure out this whole owning a cat thing. This little man has taken my whole life over lol, not in a bad way, just I care for him so much and I want him to be the happiest little guy in the world and to be able to spend a good amount of time with him daily. Like in the house id like 5-10 hours with him ideally and 2-4 hours of quality time (just including playing, feeding, grooming) Right now, I work part time, most days I get off of work from 1-3 PM, however, I am about to start a new job in a few weeks at a vet clinic, full-time. 8AM-5PM, 5-6 days a week. I am honestly really stressed and worried about my cat mostly, you see, even at the moment I am having a hard time making sure I have enough time with him daily to give him love and care, and I only work 23 hours a week and juggling spending time with my boyfriend/friends/family, self-care, feeding myself, relaxing AND caring for my cat is already very overwhelming and I have yet to find my groove as I despise routine.
I need this job, opportunity and pay very badly. But I have no idea how my boy is gonna get the love and care he needs with me being gone basically the entire day. He has puzzle toys at home that I fill in the morning and at night but he usually runs through those in 10-15 minutes and I leave birds on the TV for him most days. But by the time I get home, he seems super super excited to see me and I can’t imagine how bored he is every day while im gone, it makes me feel so awful. I really dont wanna hear that “cats are independent” or “dont need a lot of attention per day” as I disagree with that opinion, I feel as cats have the same amount of attention needs as dogs.
I just don’t know what to do, Im going to be gone the entire day most days and hes gonna be home alone that whole time. I just worry that hes going to be bored and lonely, I can’t get another cat unfortunately so that is not an option ;( I’ve considered having someone check on him for an hour or so while im at work a few times a week but I really don’t know anyone who can do that for me and I am only going to be making 13.90 an hour at this new job lol so I don’t know if i can afford to pay a stranger to check.
UGH i dont really know what advice im really asking for here, I just know Im worried and anxious about the idea of my boy being sad and alone and bored from 8-5 most days of the week and I need ideas on either how he can get his care needs met with me being away so much. Thank you for reading <3

A few months ago I met a girl on bumble and we hit it off really good. After we had sex, she texted me a couple days later telling me she really likes me but has trauma and tends to get uncomfortable and run away.
I told her I understood and we proceeded as normal. We were hanging multiple times a week and spending weekends together. At the beginning of it she didn’t want to meet my friends because it seemed like a big step. So I didn’t ask her again. We continued to spend a lot of time together and a month after her not wanting to meet my friends, she asked if I wanted to meet hers.
Now I took this as her opening up to me and being vulnerable, since it was a big deal to meet mine. I met her friends and everything was good. The next weekend I invited her to meet mine, and she happily agreed.
Everything went great, after she met my friends, I ended up staying the night at her place. She even made me breakfast the next morning, things seemed to be going really good.
A couple days after that though, something changed. She began being really short with her text, and not wanting to see me. I didn’t know how to take it, and just let her be. It started to become a headache to see her, and when I did, she was no where near as touchy or loving.
I began to stress out about what had happened because things had been so good. Eventually I asked her what was going on, and she told me that she didn’t want a relationship. My initial thought was she found someone else, cause things were going really well (at least I thought)
This went for about another week after that because she was still texting me first but not ever having much to say or wanting to spend time together. A couple days ago I asked her if she was done with what we had. She said she was just going through a bad spell right now and made her not want to be around me.
I told her that I had liked her a lot, but felt like I overstepped some boundary she had. She said it was nothing I did, but I don’t know to believe it or not. She said we should probably part ways because I don’t deserve to be questioning things in my head because of how she feels.
I told her I didn’t want to leave her because she’s in a hole right now, but I don’t want to stick around when she doesn’t want me. I told her I enjoyed our time together and wished her the best with what ever she had going on. She said she was thankful for me understanding and didn’t regret any of the time we spent together.
Naturally in my head I’m just wondering what happen? My thought process was originally she found someone else, but now I’m wondering if things became too real for her, and she wanted out.
I’m mainly here because I don’t know what to do next. I do genuinely care for this girl, but I can’t get a direct answer of what she has going on. In my eyes I think I should just leave it behind me, but I really don’t want to do that. I don’t know if I should expect her to reach out again or if she’s going to move on? Just looking for some perspective.
TLDR: I met a girl on bumble 3 months ago, things were going real well when all of sudden she got short and stopped wanting to see me. Told me in past she tends to get nervous and run from relationships. Not sure if I should let her go or trying to be there for her.

It is now 4 - 6 years after the end of Toy Story 4 and Andy has graduated college, gotten married and has a child. Having a child not only floods his mind with nostalgia from his toy days, but also reminds him of his final day with his most favorite toy, Woody. He doesn't regret giving away his favorite toy and toys altogether to Bonnie, but he then remembers that Bonnie must now be at the age where she's losing interest in playing with toys. Andy gives a melancholic little smile trying to remember the last time he really played with his toys, but is suddenly jolted by an epiphany that Bonnie might be getting rid of, or has already gotten rid of his old toys. "Why didn't I think of that earlier!" He yells as he rushes to his car to Bonnie's house hoping the family still lives there.
Andy speeds to Bonnies full of anxiety, arguing with himself that he made the right choice, but maybe he should've saved his toys if he had kid one day, and he did. Andy comically slows down as he sees a sign that says "caution distracted children playing with toys", and pulls up to find a preteen Bonnie outside making videos with her friends with not a single toy in sight. Andy asks her if she remembers him and she does. He also asks about Woody, but she's uncertain which toy he's talking about. He is still relieved to hear the Bonnie has kept his toys all these years, but his relief quickly turns into suppressed sadness as he sees Woody is the only toy missing from the group. Andy picks up Jesse and shows her to Bonnie then asks if she remembers her cowboy counterpart. Bonnie has an epiphany from her RV trip when her dad said to her mom "It's too bad we only found the backpack and not that cowboy doll, apparently its worth a fortune... But there is absolutely now way I'm going back to that antique store a third time". Andy thanks Bonnie and then gets an exact location of the antique store from her parents. As Andy is about to drive off, Bonnie cries "WAIT!" and runs up to his car with the box of his old toys. "Thank you for giving me these toys when I needed them, but now I think you need them again!". Andy lets out a subtle tear and drives off with his old gang minus Woody.
Meanwhile at the fair from the fourth movie. Woody and Bo Peep are still delivering toy vigilantism by helping other kids receive toys. Woody tells Bo that he's never been happier, but in an unsettling way. Bo asks him "What is it, Woody?" Woody responds, "Maybe I'm the kind of Toy who always lived on the edge, and that edge... being your kid's next birthday where he might never play with you again.... I don't know Bo, I guess Andy was just like family even if he never knew it, and then Bonnie..." "He knew it... they both knew it", Bo responds. "And besides, we'll always be family even if we may never get another kid again".
The wholesome moment is abruptly broken by a large figure overshadowing them both. Bo manages to dive out of the way, but Woody is swept up by a large human hand. "YOU!" the older but familiar voice says as the carnival worker puts him in his van and drives off to his second job at a warehouse. Andy pulls up, but just misses the the carnival worker pick up Woody. He then asks around for directions to the antique store. Buzz and the other toys see Woody get taken, jump out of Andy's car and quickly grab the back of the van before it hightails away.
Woody appears tied up in a mini chair all alone in the middle of a warehouse with thousands of unfocused boxes in the background, Woody is a bit disorientated and thinks he's hearing things. Voices of the same tone start speaking all around the room, "Get back in your box sheriff! A sheriff isn't called for duty until he's officially let out of his box! What are you thinking sheriff.. Sheriff! SHERIFF?!" Woody realizes these are all originally sealed Woody toys which were thought to be an impossibility for decades. "Was I really the same as Buzz was when I met him? Are all toys the same way at first?". Woody and all the the boxed Woodys surrounding him instantly go silent as they hear footsteps approaching.
"How did you do it Sherriff? How did you bring all my toys to life all those years ago?? You're the one who spoke back then, so it had to be you! After all these years of finally forgetting what happened in therapy, I get laid off my awesome garbage truck job and was forced to manage my dad's old factory of old and useless toys. And the worst part? Hundreds of you were the only ones I had to manage!! I tried getting them all to speak so they could finally oust you...the ringleader!! But none. Ever. SPOKE. EXCEPT. YOU!" Woody finally realizes this is Sid. THE Sid of childhood's past. Terrified and thinking he's about to be strapped to a rocket like Buzz once was, Woody immediately drops his frozen toy face, and looks Sid in the eye with sadness and remorse. Sid looks incredibly perplexed by this, like he can't believe it, and knew it all along. More than anything, he seemed to completely freeze like a toy. Woody speaks, "Old and useless? Sid, these Woody toys are worth a fortune, especially that they're unopened!"... "The demon speaks again!!!" Sid exclaims getting traumatized all over again. You're nothing but lies cowboy!! My dad told me we can't sell these until they have market value again! So it's my job to man this warehouse and protect it at all costs until then! Now, I got something a little better for you than a barbecue this time... heheh". Sid's laugh seems eerily unsettling and familiar even years later. Sid turns his attention to an old fashioned furnace and notices it won't start, so he uses an old trick his dad taught him by starting the pilot light with a match. Sid lighting the match gives Woody an even further recollection of traumatic memories.
Buzz asks slinky to let him use his slink as a grappling hook. Slinky agrees, and Buzz throws and loops slinky around a hanging light fixture. As Sid turns his attention back to Woody to put him in the furnace, Buzz makes his move, swings down, and successfully grabs Woody from Sid. As slinky throws both Buzz and Woody back to the other toys, Woody slips, but graciously catches the end of Bo Peep's rod as she winks at him. Sid throws a huge temper tantrum, possibly bigger than he ever did as a child. In his rage he accidentally knocks over the furnace which causes a fire around him, and causes him to pass out.
The warehouse fire starts to grow as Sid lies motionless on the floor. Woody begs the other toys to help get Sid out of there while they stubbornly refuse. Finally Buzz tells the other toys, "has Woody ever steered any of us the wrong way? No he hasn't. Let's get Sid out of here!". Woody and the other toys manage to het Sid out of the warehouse and he collapses on exit coughing on smoke while the toys can "breathe" just fine. As Andy is driving home finding out that the antique store is permanently closed in great disappointment, he sees heavy smoke and then fire off in the distance. He quickly dials 911, but to no avail, he can't even get signal for emergency lines where he is. Surely, his message must have made it to someone, right? "What would Sheriff Woody do?" He thinks. He decides to head for the source of the fire.
As Andy pulls up, the other toys dive in the bushes, but he finds Woody and Sid on the ground. Andy has no time to think as he charges for the warehouse doors incase anyone else is in there. As soon as he gets to the doors he notices the light from the fire has gone out. Meanwhile, on the other side of the warehouse, the three green aliens from the previous movies have driven a firetruck to the warehouse and also managed to get a hose through one of the clerestories and put out the fire with only a handful of the boxed Woodys seeing minor damage. "THE HOOOOOSE" The three little green men exclaim. Andy looks and inside, but assumes it was vacant besides the man laying on the ground outside and turns attention him and Woody. While happy and confused to see his old toy again, he's mainly concerned about the human struggling to breathe, but quickly discovers he's alright. "Are you alright? Do I... Do I know you?" Andy asks. "Maybe just a memory, good or bad, I can't remember", replies Sid.
Andy picks up Woody and helps Sid in his car as Andy's bunch of other toys slip in through the sun roof before he enters. Woody winks at Buzz in a "thanks old partner, thought I'd never see you again" manner. They all drive back to Sid's house from the first toy story movie and Sid reconnects with his mom who he hasn't seen in years. but still lives in that same old house. Sid finds out his dad was hoarding Wood toys he couldn't legally sell because they were stolen from his mom, the rightful owner, who's father was actually the inventor of the toy, but had his copyright patent cheated from him in court. Sid can't tell his mom how (because a toy told him), but she is gleefully ecstatic when Sid tells her he has all the unopened Woody toys, and how much they're worth.
Andy, still in his car with rain coming down, looks at the two silhouettes hug through Sid's old house window and joyfully smiles. He then turns his attention to his toys in the box, and then Woody as he lay motionless. Then Andy turns his head to his old house and gives one long look at his old bedroom window where he imagines his toys are alive and waving at him through it. He then turns back to Woody again laying motionless and gives a questioning, yet happy smile.
~ScottyB-Makin
Again, this is just an outline, I know I didn't include a whole lot with the toys interacting with each other, but I wanted to hit the main beats. Thanks for reading!!

Hi, I would really appreciate any advice you may have for me. I work in customer service remotely for a start up company. When I initially stated, it was great. We had great benefits and a great team. I took this job when I was young and I needed stability in my life after college. I have a degree in the social sciences area and I tried a few jobs that were part time with a non livable wage. I come from a family that has been constantly worried about finances. Having stability is super important to me and I still have a financial scarcity mindset because I'm not where I want to be finances wise.
I climbed the corporate ladder and I hate this job now, things have changed immensely. I am still in a customer service position, but in a "better" role, but they've now changed it into almost a call center like environment with incompetent bosses who provide wrong answers, took away some of the benefits, and hired workers who continue to provide wrong answers or incorrectly process things despite being here for several years. The quality went down immensely as the new boss implemented their call center ways since that's the background they come from.
I need to leave soon since this place is destroying my mental health. I knew this job wasn't going to be forever, but I have been here over 3 years now. Things are going downhill and my team and I feel targeted here. I don't know what I should do or what career that I should do next. I almost have a hard time leaving this job due to some financial obligations I have. I'm worried that the next job won't pay as much. I want to go back to school, but I don't know what it would be for. I enjoy helping others, problem solving, writing procedures, and I don't want to feel like how I'm feeling with this current job again. I feel like I'm looking over my shoulder, I'm being forced with others who won't pull their weight in projects, fixing mistakes caused by someone else, management doesn't even help us grow at all and are inconsistent. I need to get out, I have nightmares almost every day. I wake up crying. I can't be at this job anymore. I need to make good money. What can I do?

I just want to get this out.
I'm going on my third year at this job. This girl joined about 1,5 years ago, she has 3 kids with a guy there who's been working there for 13 years. One of the people who has been working there the longest. Bosses respect him. And to be quite frank, even though I rarely see him, I always had a good relationship with him. Shake hands. I find him to be alright.
From what I gathered, she's only with him because they have 3 kids. I don't see any sort of love between them. When I first started talking to her I would tell her that her boyfriend's the guy who should be promoted because he would do a greater job than most. Always complimented him. She'd agree. Until, fast forward, she wasn't so nice about him anymore.
Me and the girl started talking too much. I always kept distance when it comes to showing love interest, I always kept a step back. But my toxic, idiot side kinda wanted her to like me like that. Why? Idk. I actually had fun talking to her tbh. We had a massive lot in common. We hung out somewhere special once and it was a dinner with other friends. I saw it as just fun.
She lived near me and we started going home from work in the same car. Fast forward, maybe a month later, she decided she wanted to talk to me privately, and as I guessed, she went ahead and kissed me. After that, It became more sexual and she started going down on me. My behavior is so immature, I would be lying if I said I wouldn't have kept that up.
We kept talking and talking, but the reality is i couldn't find myself to have genuine love for her. I don't like her like that. Although I do care for her. Feel good when she's around, but it's the same feelings you have when you care for a real friend.
She would do everything for me. Gave me expensive shoes (110€) because she heard me speak about adidas shoes at that same dinner. She brought me other sht. Bruh she brought a rabbit and named it after me.
I don't love her. I accepted that this was enough, so I decided to tell her straight. She didn't believe me. So she kept finding ways to get back to me. Like skipping work, or work in a different position so I wouldn't see her, just different ways to get my attention. I would fall for that everytime. She even came to my house and wouldn't leave until I came out and talked to her. She said something about not feeling good. I felt afraid she'd do something stupid to herself or pass out from some illness she has. So I came out. Spoke to her, and gave out, we became good again, telling her I only saw her as a friend, but if she wants benefits too, sure. Again, me messing it up with selfishness again.
Recently, i decided to once again see if I can separate myself from her. I ghosted her. So after some time she told my friend that she was going to leave work. He told me this and the first thing I said was: "nah bro. She said this because she knows you'd tell me, and so I would reach out to her". And guess what, I was right. She went on vacation without telling anyone, and was furious I didn't reach out to her. I haven't fell for these sort of manipulations anymore. I have not texted.
She told my friend (same one) that she was taking meds and hasn't slept because of me. After that, that same day I told her to her face that I only saw her as a coworker and to keep distance.
In response, she stepped away from me at work. Unfollowed me on all social medias. And hopefully it stays this way.
I messed up. Her boyfriend knew I'm sure of this, but let it go. And was cool to me still. I'm not sure how love works in their house, but if there was no relationship, she wouldn't hide. So, she cheated with me, clearly.
My friend said that in every break up, one person always gets seriously more hurt. And I should accept this. And move forward. He also knows that she's very problematic and has been in situations where she's wrong but makes a scene to her bosses to make it seem she's in the right. Therefore that I need to be careful she doesn't start drama with me as revenge.
What should I do?
Tl:dr - Met this girl at work who is in a long relationship. She fell and obsessed over me. Now I can't get rid of her.

So Eleven Table Tennis is no doubt one of the more popular games judging by a lot of posts on this sub, and it's loads of fun definitely. Now to me it feels only logical that sooner or later we might very well see double matches coming to it, right? Might be something that's already in the works, I have no idea, if anyone does feel free to share the info!
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But I got to thinking, how about a game mode with even moooar players? Shit we'd need a really wide table I hear you say but no. I don't know if this is a thing all over the world, but in school we used to play what literally translates to "round table tennis" or "round ping pong". Since # of kids > #(1) of tables, rather than have only two or four able to play at any one time, you just divided everyone up on the two sides of the table with one on each side "facing off" and the rest lining up behind them. Then one serves and then right away moves away and goes over to the other side of the table getting in the back of the line while the person at the front returns the serve and then does the same thing and so on. This continues until someone makes a mistake, that person is then out of that round and the game starts anew with one less player. As more players are knocked out the time you have to get to the other side before it's your turn to hit the ball is reduced forcing you to eventually sprint round and round until only two remain who then play a short 1v1 to determine the winner. After that everone rejoins and it starts over.
​
Is this a common way of playing in a lot of places? And more importantly, could you see this being a game mode in Eleven in order to expand the multiplayer from just two players at any one time? If not, how about double matches?

Let me just say that I (31M) know that I'm the wrong for having feelings while still married.
My marriage was never an easy affair, but it got so much worse after my mother passed last year. My wife (29F) has depression and anxiety, and really, REALLY hate my family. It got to extremes after my mother passing, with my father and sister wanting me to stay with them, and my wife wanting me to spend the weekend at home, so I could heal, and during the week help my father (my mother passed on a Wednesday, and I'd already spent Thursday and Friday at my dad's). It got very heated very fast, as I really wanted to just be quiet, and everybody wanted me to make a decision and accused the other part of trying to manipulate me.
Me and my wife are very different people, who share some traits and interest, and got into the relationship with skewed ideas of each other, and, although we've be trying to grow together, we really have a knack for getting into each other's skin, and just make the worst in us come to life. I know she's a good person, and deserves good things, but int these moments, she has hurt me extremely, to the point where we have no sex life left whatsoever. She accuses me of hurting her more than anyone in her life. This is due to we speaking a very different love language, and me being unable to make her feel loved in ways that are meaningful to her. She, on the other hand, being hurt by me not being able to make her feel loved and cared for, leashes out in a very aggressive way. She refuses treatment for her conditions, and I kinda get it, since we live in a small town, and every experience she had with therapy was awful.
In the last months we've talked about separating (we have a civil union, not a proper marriage, but where we live there's no legal difference whatsoever), and I've left house three times to spend the night in an hotel.
This year I've started my Masters degree in Criminal Law (again, not US, so we don't go directly to a PhD program) and, this being one of the key differences in our personalities (I'm very passionate about my research topics, and just academia in general, I can nerd out about just any scientific topic with someone), and started making new acquaintances.
One of the other key differences that is relevant, is that I'm a traditional romantic, love books, literature, movies, TV shows, music, and art in general, which she is neutral towards, but has no patience for my passion in the topic. She goes to the length of hating me drawing or writing because is a "waste of time that I should've be directing to things that would make of financial life better". She was very supportive of me getting my Masters, but just because it can make me more desirable to certain jobs, and raise my earnings.
In this period, I've met someone, in an academic setting, and this girl has made me feel things I've not felt in more than a decade. Even my current wife didn't make my head spin so badly when we've met. She's a PhD candidate in criminal law, loves the same things that I do, can spend whole days nerding out about the same topics I'm very passionate about, and, lastly, I do think she's beautiful. It just fucked my head entirely.
I was already thinking about separating, and in our last fight I was clear that if she forced me out of the house again, I wouldn't come back, and not even message her. I think she felt I had my mind 90% made in separating, and now she's trying very hard. I do think it will not last, and we'll have another big fight soon, but I can't bet all my chips in it. Now, I can't think about ending things without feeling guilty that I'm thinking about someone else.
Obviously, it's not romantic, and I've made very sure that she knew I was in a serious relationship, and tried to stay in more academic topics, so I won't cross any lines, but it still makes my heart flutters, butterflies in my stomach, and the whole nine yards. I'm feeling like a school boy crushing all over again. And I can't control how I feel. Even if I cut her out, I'll still feel this, and will still affect me.
I'm thorn between guilt, and this huge feeling that I've developed. I can't make decisions on my relationship based on another person who I don't even know if it feels the same way about me, but it does comes to my mind often.
I do think this is a clear signal of an emotional breakage between my and my SO, and I just feel sad, because I've really wanted this to work, and for us to make it through. But now, I don't know if I even want it anymore, and it just breaks my heart, because I don't think she deserves it, and I'm just feeling like, this time, I'm really abandoning her. It just sucks. That's all.

It is now 4 - 6 years after the end of Toy Story 4 and Andy has graduated college, gotten married and has a child. Having a child not only floods his mind with nostalgia from his toy days, but also reminds him of his final day with his most favorite toy, Woody. He doesn't regret giving away his favorite toy and toys altogether to Bonnie, but he then remembers that Bonnie must now be at the age where she's losing interest in playing with toys. Andy gives a melancholic little smile trying to remember the last time he really played with his toys, but is suddenly jolted by an epiphany that Bonnie might be getting rid of, or has already gotten rid of his old toys. "Why didn't I think of that earlier!" He yells as he rushes to his car to Bonnie's house hoping the family still lives there.
Andy speeds to Bonnies full of anxiety, arguing with himself that he made the right choice, but maybe he should've saved his toys if he had kid one day, and he did. Andy comically slows down as he sees a sign that says "caution distracted children playing with toys", and pulls up to find a preteen Bonnie outside making videos with her friends with not a single toy in sight. Andy asks her if she remembers him and she does. He also asks about Woody, but she's uncertain which toy he's talking about. He is still relieved to hear the Bonnie has kept his toys all these years, but his relief quickly turns into suppressed sadness as he sees Woody is the only toy missing from the group. Andy picks up Jesse and shows her to Bonnie then asks if she remembers her cowboy counterpart. Bonnie has an epiphany from her RV trip when her dad said to her mom "It's too bad we only found the backpack and not that cowboy doll, apparently its worth a fortune... But there is absolutely now way I'm going back to that antique store a third time". Andy thanks Bonnie and then gets an exact location of the antique store from her parents. As Andy is about to drive off, Bonnie cries "WAIT!" and runs up to his car with the box of his old toys. "Thank you for giving me these toys when I needed them, but now I think you need them again!". Andy lets out a subtle tear and drives off with his old gang minus Woody.
Meanwhile at the fair from the fourth movie. Woody and Bo Peep are still delivering toy vigilantism by helping other kids receive toys. Woody tells Bo that he's never been happier, but in an unsettling way. Bo asks him "What is it, Woody?" Woody responds, "Maybe I'm the kind of Toy who always lived on the edge, and that edge... being your kid's next birthday where he might never play with you again.... I don't know Bo, I guess Andy was just like family even if he never knew it, and then Bonnie..." "He knew it... they both knew it", Bo responds. "And besides, we'll always be family even if we may never get another kid again".
The wholesome moment is abruptly broken by a large figure overshadowing them both. Bo manages to dive out of the way, but Woody is swept up by a large human hand. "YOU!" the older but familiar voice says as the carnival worker puts him in his van and drives off to his second job at a warehouse. Andy pulls up, but just misses the the carnival worker pick up Woody. He then asks around for directions to the antique store. Buzz and the other toys see Woody get taken, jump out of Andy's car and quickly grab the back of the van before it hightails away.
Woody appears tied up in a mini chair all alone in the middle of a warehouse with thousands of unfocused boxes in the background, Woody is a bit disorientated and thinks he's hearing things. Voices of the same tone start speaking all around the room, "Get back in your box sheriff! A sheriff isn't called for duty until he's officially let out of his box! What are you thinking sheriff.. Sheriff! SHERIFF?!" Woody realizes these are all originally sealed Woody toys which were thought to be an impossibility for decades. "Was I really the same as Buzz was when I met him? Are all toys the same way at first?". Woody and all the the boxed Woodys surrounding him instantly go silent as they hear footsteps approaching.
"How did you do it Sherriff? How did you bring all my toys to life all those years ago?? You're the one who spoke back then, so it had to be you! After all these years of finally forgetting what happened in therapy, I get laid off my awesome garbage truck job and was forced to manage my dad's old factory of old and useless toys. And the worst part? Hundreds of you were the only ones I had to manage!! I tried getting them all to speak so they could finally oust you...the ringleader!! But none. Ever. SPOKE. EXCEPT. YOU!" Woody finally realizes this is Sid. THE Sid of childhood's past. Terrified and thinking he's about to be strapped to a rocket like Buzz once was, Woody immediately drops his frozen toy face, and looks Sid in the eye with sadness and remorse. Sid looks incredibly perplexed by this, like he can't believe it, and knew it all along. More than anything, he seemed to completely freeze like a toy. Woody speaks, "Old and useless? Sid, these Woody toys are worth a fortune, especially that they're unopened!"... "The demon speaks again!!!" Sid exclaims getting traumatized all over again. You're nothing but lies cowboy!! My dad told me we can't sell these until they have market value again! So it's my job to man this warehouse and protect it at all costs until then! Now, I got something a little better for you than a barbecue this time... heheh". Sid's laugh seems eerily unsettling and familiar even years later. Sid turns his attention to an old fashioned furnace and notices it won't start, so he uses an old trick his dad taught him by starting the pilot light with a match. Sid lighting the match gives Woody an even further recollection of traumatic memories.
Buzz asks slinky to let him use his slink as a grappling hook. Slinky agrees, and Buzz throws and loops slinky around a hanging light fixture. As Sid turns his attention back to Woody to put him in the furnace, Buzz makes his move, swings down, and successfully grabs Woody from Sid. As slinky throws both Buzz and Woody back to the other toys, Woody slips, but graciously catches the end of Bo Peep's rod as she winks at him. Sid throws a huge temper tantrum, possibly bigger than he ever did as a child. In his rage he accidentally knocks over the furnace which causes a fire around him, and causes him to pass out.
The warehouse fire starts to grow as Sid lies motionless on the floor. Woody begs the other toys to help get Sid out of there while they stubbornly refuse. Finally Buzz tells the other toys, "has Woody ever steered any of us the wrong way? No he hasn't. Let's get Sid out of here!". Woody and the other toys manage to het Sid out of the warehouse and he collapses on exit coughing on smoke while the toys can "breathe" just fine. As Andy is driving home finding out that the antique store is permanently closed in great disappointment, he sees heavy smoke and then fire off in the distance. He quickly dials 911, but to no avail, he can't even get signal for emergency lines where he is. Surely, his message must have made it to someone, right? "What would Sheriff Woody do?" He thinks. He decides to head for the source of the fire.
As Andy pulls up, the other toys dive in the bushes, but he finds Woody and Sid on the ground. Andy has no time to think as he charges for the warehouse doors incase anyone else is in there. As soon as he gets to the doors he notices the light from the fire has gone out. Meanwhile, on the other side of the warehouse, the three green aliens from the previous movies have driven a firetruck to the warehouse and also managed to get a hose through one of the clerestories and put out the fire with only a handful of the boxed Woodys seeing minor damage. "THE HOOOOOSE" The three little green men exclaim. Andy looks and inside, but assumes it was vacant besides the man laying on the ground outside and turns attention him and Woody. While happy and confused to see his old toy again, he's mainly concerned about the human struggling to breathe, but quickly discovers he's alright. "Are you alright? Do I... Do I know you?" Andy asks. "Maybe just a memory, good or bad, I can't remember", replies Sid.
Andy picks up Woody and helps Sid in his car as Andy's bunch of other toys slip in through the sun roof before he enters. Woody winks at Buzz in a "thanks old partner, thought I'd never see you again" manner. They all drive back to Sid's house from the first toy story movie and Sid reconnects with his mom who he hasn't seen in years. but still lives in that same old house. Sid finds out his dad was hoarding Wood toys he couldn't legally sell because they were stolen from his mom, the rightful owner, who's father was actually the inventor of the toy, but had his copyright patent cheated from him in court. Sid can't tell his mom how (because a toy told him), but she is gleefully ecstatic when Sid tells her he has all the unopened Woody toys, and how much they're worth.
Andy, still in his car with rain coming down, looks at the two silhouettes hug through Sid's old house window and joyfully smiles. He then turns his attention to his toys in the box, and then Woody as he lay motionless. Then Andy turns his head to his old house and gives one long look at his old bedroom window where he imagines his toys are alive and waving at him through it. He then turns back to Woody again laying motionless and gives a questioning, yet happy smile.
~ScottyB-Makin
Again, this is just an outline, I know I didn't include a whole lot with the toys interacting with each other, but I wanted to hit the main beats. Thanks for reading!!

My beloved cat is ruining my life with his urine marking. I break down into tears and feel hopeless with every marking incident, which is daily. Yes, he is neutered and always has been since he was big enough to have it done. He has always been an inside cat. I have had him since he was a kitten, literally since he was born. He never had accidents or did this for the first 6 years of his life. We moved apartments alot since I was in college, and moved states after for jobs. No incidents. He was the perfect cat. Lived happily with my second cat and my dogs. The nightmare started when I moved to a bottom floor apartment when he was 6. The neighbors would let their cats out and they would sit in front of my window. I would scare them away but they persisted, and I had to put up black out sheets on the windows because my cat would just get behind the curtains to see them. He began spraying a little, not a lot. He would mostly just mark my partners things if we left his office door open. He only would mark my partners things for the first few years, so we just knew to keep his room door closed. Eventually, I put him on prozac to stop the marking and it worked. Fast forward to our new place. He is 10 now. This is our dream home and its the biggest place we have ever lived. Entirely hardwood, it was spotless when we moved in. No neighbors for a couple miles any direction. He is peeing EVERYWHERE. He pees in the kitchen by the door, the oven, the island, the curtain that covers the bottom of the kitchen sink, the table, the chairs, the dining room chairs, the entry way table, the couch covers, the cabinets in my studio, my bookcase, EVERYTHING. I find a new spot he has decided to mark almost every day. It's always vertical, I have caught him on camera multiple times. I have tried calming sprays, feliway, calming collars, maxing out his prozac dose, enzyme cleaning and deep cleaning constantly, blocking him from rooms, extra play time (which he almost never wants to play but I try), urinary food, catnip spray, feeding him where he pees, outdoor time, I have taken him to the vet and given him bloodwork and urine tests that show nothing is wrong. I have two litterboxes with the same litter he has had since he was a kitten downstairs I keep clean every day and an automatic box upstairs. He uses them all just fine, just continues to spray everything. I love him so much and am devastated that I fantasize about him passing away. I used to say I'd die if he died and now I am so resentful of him. My house smells musty on a good day and like urine any other day. I feel like I have spent so much money and time hoping anything would work stopping him from peeing on everything but every day my hand touches urine or I smell it somewhere new. I've had to throw away countless books and pieces of art because they were soaked in urine. My mental health is suffering greatly from dealing with this issue, I'm so tired of cleaning up urine. I feel like he will keep me from deciding to start a family. I cant imagine dealing with a baby on top of constant urine cleaning and I imagine all the urine soaked baby clothes and bed and toys. My last resort is putting him in diapers, which Im not even sure how he will poop with those on. But I am at my wits end short of throwing him outside and locking the door, which I know I don't have the heart to do. Any advice is appreciated.

I’m a 21 year old guy who goes to appointments to a woman job advisor aged around 32-33 I only see her like 10-15 mins a week. Iv been going to her for like 5-6 months
I told her about an interview I passed by email and she made me an appointment to see her to tell her about it etc
She Always seems moody and strict type tbh gives me grouchy looks often but I’m always very quiet but polite
I was sitting to her 9pm angle left and I was facing her left side whilst she was on the computer
Anyways this one morning she was using her mousse on the computer not saying anything for the moment and I looked around to my left (just glancing) around down a long office a bit then looked further left to an angle seen a 40 ish year old attractive blonde woman in a short dress no tights etc about 15-20 metres away and then I looked away after 2 seconds with my head down as normal as tho no one was there to look at.
Then Out of nothing 3-4 seconds later my advisor (whilst she was looking at the computer screen scrolling with the mousse the whole time) giggled under her breath and said ‘you looking at her there?’ Under her breath whilst slightly giggling

• i didn’t say anything but it was bizarre to me as she gave me a narky furrowed brows look at the start of this appointment which confuses me about her being like this

I 26M started dating 28F almost 2 years ago. At the beginning things were lovely. We fell in love fast. The communication and connection was great. We were very sexually active together and mind you this is like a week or two after she got out of a 3 year relationship. Over time we of course slowed down and it became rare to be intimate and moved out of the honeymoon phase. But she was still reciprocating with how she treated me and went out of her way to do favors. She became a core member of my friend group. She loved planning things and initiating the plans even if we both discussed things prior and what was going to happen. So I never minded just letting her be the one to send the invite, with the assumption people assumed I had a hand in it but didn’t need to be redundant in inviting people. She struggles with depression and anxiety quite a bit and I always supported her, lifted her up, and validated her when she struggled. Over time she started making me feel those same insecurities that she had and worried about but was very frugal in showing me the same support. It got to the point where she was constantly going through something so I never felt it was a good time to voice my struggles or relationship concerns and if I did it was met with drawbacks. I never brought up our lack of intimacy because she said she was aware and felt bad and that I should be with someone who was more intimate. Of course I wish we were and that it always made me feel closer to her but I never made her feel bad. I was in love with her completely. I loved all her flaws and reassured her I saw past that and believed she was trying. She said she wanted to work on being better about words of affirmation as well as going to the gym, getting in better shape and being nicer overall. I always told her and believed she looked great and shouldn’t talk to herself that way. That she was as attractive to me now as when we first met. I wasn’t just saying it either, it is how I genuinely felt about her. As time went on none of these goals of hers ever progressed and actually got worse. I was patient and never voiced to her that she wasn’t putting in the effort she preached she wanted to put forth. As she would bring up to me how she was aware she was being mean, avoidant, and dismissive but would validate it to herself by always saying she was very self aware of these things and sees it. Yet she wouldn’t change her behavior and only worsened. Even coming to me one time saying she thinks she is a narcissist, but soon said its just her attachment style.
I also have a history with anxiety, depression, confidence and had a drug addiction years prior that I was now clean from. She wanted to try said drug about 9 months into our relationship and I thought I was in a good place to let it happen. It soon became something that was around at every party or function and I had begun indulging more and found myself struggling. I voiced my concerns many times and even said no to getting it sometimes and it was always met with her becoming argumentative, pouting, or being mean. Sometimes I gave in because over time it was easier to just say yes then to say no and deal with her anger. During a period where I had gotten clean and she knew of my struggle would still ask me to get it for her and do it in front of me. Proceeding to tell me she needs me to stay clean. She always acted like the life of the party at functions but would make me feel nervous or on edge constantly criticizing my social behavior which caused me to struggle more. Then behind closed doors she wasn’t very affectionate, never wanted to do couples things and always had an excuse but would be down to party. She made me feel like I wasn’t meeting expectations in our relationship. I always went above and beyond with how I treated her. I took care of most of the household chores, fixing things, gave her words of affirmations, was patient with her, and didn’t give her reasons to doubt my love. At times that I was disrespected by others she would never defend me. Other times she made me out as the villain and never would back me up in situations if a friend insulted me while drunk. She told me I just need to let it go and that I shouldn’t bite back. Even if it was really insulting. She would compare me to her ex constantly and even said it’s my fault we aren’t as intimate anymore. I started using said drug to mask how I was feeling and distract myself (which yes I know made things worse). I voiced it a couple of times but wasn’t taken seriously. I started therapy weekly and was sober from this drug on multiple occasions but would relapse and I was scared to admit it and started hiding it because I knew how I would be viewed. Fast forward to spring 2024, she found out I was using it, I lied about it initially and tried to spin it but eventually came forward about everything. I was ashamed and not in my right mind and wished I had been honest right away with it. I know I fucked up. I am now in NA and going to therapy weekly and have some really good support.
However when I thought I was confiding in her about my addiction struggles, she broke up with me. She then turned around and told everyone all the details, including her parents. When others showed me support she actually was upset and would say to me how she was the victim and didn’t get why they were being supportive towards me. I would console her over this because I felt so ashamed and guilty. She was really big on emphasizing telling the truth but would always put spins on things and tell what I would say is a half truth to protect herself and say she wasn’t lying. She used my lying against me even though I knew I was wrong and was open about that I. Then say she didn’t lie but always kept out details about herself. When telling her parents or others she never mentioned her own use of this drug or how she would always ask me to get it knowing I was trying to stay away from it and struggling. In between our breakup and me moving out she would go out with our friend group and talk behind my back badly but then act civil towards me.
Then after some time SHE was worried I was going to start a smear campaign, so she voiced that she didn’t want us talking about each other to other people. Mind you I hadn’t done that at all and actually defended her on multiple occasions. On one of these occasions, I was the only one to run after her when she had a mental breakdown. She called me being suicidal over an altercation she had with the group and they kicked her out at 2am to walk home alone drunk. Now I am no longer involved in social gatherings and she is included and openly admitted she doesn’t agree with everyones actions and how these friends are treating me is fucked up and that they need to be better. but because she is involved she doesn’t want to say anything, and doesn’t feel she owes me anything and that I did all this to myself. Yes I know my actions resulted in where things are now. Yet hers and their reactions and decisions are their choices and actions and theirs alone. I acknowledged my wrongs and accepted my poor decisions. She blames her choices since then as if I made them or that they had to be made. She wouldn’t even know them if it wasn’t for me and I have known them for almost 9 years now. She relentlessly made it known how I hurt her and how she was the victim and never did anything wrong. She wanted everyone to not just know why we broke up but every detail of MY addiction to further victimize herself Instead of just keeping it surface level. I always kept what happened between us private but found out she was constantly telling the girls or anyone in the group everything I either did wrong or she didn’t like and avoided telling things that she did that were wrong. It always got spun.
Looking back at times where I felt it wouldn’t work either or have my doubts but something would happen and revalidate my hope. I had times where I felt I deserved to be treated better but saw everything through rose colored glasses and loved too hard. She had even told me as an excuse that she felt too comfortable and safe with how I treated her and it was causing her to not be as reciprocal. I asked her in response(to make a point) if she would prefer I was avoidant, rude or selfish. Which of course is fucked up and I wouldn’t do. I can openly admit that I struggle with letting go, abandonment, and low self esteem. I am an anxious attachment type and throughout the relationship really worked on improving this and giving space when she wanted it or not taking things personal. All things I am working on in therapy. Trying to learn how to love myself again, accept I struggle with substance abuse, but not shame myself and that all I can do now is keep improving and be patient with myself. That it will always be a battle. It’s clear she was sorta looking for an out in this relationship but openly admitted she didn’t want to end things because of how I treated her and took care of her. Almost making it clear she was “settling”.
So my question is, was I being manipulated most of my relationship by 28F?

Phone sya ng lolo ko who recently passed away at minamataan na sya ng tito ko ever since. I also have intentions of asking for the phone once na okay na ang grieving ng lola ko. My means for asking is bec close na rin tong phone ko masira
Ive fixed and managed the phone overtime at kaka restore ko lang ng system after someone attempted to unlock the passcode. Tapos yung tito ko ay ihihingi hingi lang yung phone. Napaka walang kwenta naman ng IT degree nya at hindi panmga ito marunong mag set up ng printer. Katakataka pa kung pano naka graduate to
ab my uncle: mid 30s, wala syang disability, nasa puder pa din ng nanay nya at never nakaranas ng hirap, cant get a job without referral, has a phone, may ps4, basically lives a spoiled 15yo's life.
Some lines that can sway my grandmother not to spoil him further.