Hard tongue twisters | | Tongue Twisters

got my tongue piercing back in early january, initial healing was fine, the last few weeks i’ve noticed this bump under my tongue though, it’s sore especially when i bend my tongue or move it/stretch it. it’s hard aswell, no discharge or puss, don’t know if it’s scar tissue or what. i’d like to get rid of it but don’t know how. i currently have a snug titanium bar with 4mm balls, i just changed it, previously (as pictured) it was a really snug titanium bar with 3mm balls. i’ve done salt water rinses, and initially was using a mouth wash.

thought maybe this was appropriate to post here? as title says,, i clenched my jaw pretty hard and the corner of my molar broke off. i was chewing gum and it kinda.... crumbled into it. im so angry at myself. every time my tongue touches the spot where it broke i just cry. i feel entirely at fault yet equally hopeless, i am destroying my body right before my eyes!!!!! i suppose im looking for some words of encouragement :(

I sit alone in my room on the seventh floor, writing what will surely be my last will and testament. The heroin which allowed me to forget and to sleep for the last couple of years has lost its power to keep the screaming terrors away. The drug destroyed my body and mind, gradually eating away at them like a corrosive acid. Now I have become a slave to it. And yet, without it, I do not sleep for weeks, but instead continuously see the scenes from that terrible night running through my head on repeat as worsening waves of madness crash on the shores of my consciousness.
In the caverns under the town of Frost Hollow, I found the meaning of true madness. Ever since I escaped that den of horrors, it is difficult to tell what is real and what is only the feverish delirium of an unhinged mind.
Even now, they wait behind the door to this cheap, bare rented room. They drag their claws over the wood. I hear them hissing in that strange, ancient tongue, the one I first heard in the tombs of rock that had been undisturbed for countless millennia.
***
I had first heard rumors of an unexplored cavern from my friend, an experienced caver named Sonia who had explored caverns all over the world. I had been looking for some excitement in my life, some break from the constant monotony and boredom of simply working and sleeping. I had gone caving quite a few times over the year leading up to the trip, but I was not nearly as experienced and had never explored a supposedly virgin passageway of cavern before.
“How do you know no one’s gone down there?” I asked, curious. We sat across from each other at a local diner, getting some early breakfast before our planned descent. The sunrise was still another half-hour away, the sky flat and dark. We would be joined by Sonia’s husband, Phil, who would meet us there shortly after sunrise. I repressed an urge to yawn, chugging half of the steaming hot coffee in one long swallow. Sonia leaned close to me, her nearly colorless blue eyes reminding me of chunks of ice floating down a muddy stream.
“Phil’s friend just found it randomly,” she whispered before glancing around conspiratorially, as if she feared someone would care enough to eavesdrop on a conversation about a cave. “Well, it’s in the middle of a farm, and Phil’s friend, Jack Graysole, owns the entire property and surrounding woods. Jack says he noticed the cows kept going over to a certain spot in the field when it got really hot during the summertime. They would all gather around this little indentation in the grass. After seeing it a few times, Jack got curious and went to investigate what the cows were doing.
“He found a small hole in the ground, almost entirely covered by weeds and grass. He said he felt a cool breeze constantly blowing out of the hole, a breeze that smelled like burning matches and charred metal. After bringing out some shovels and digging down a couple feet, Jack realized that the hole wasn’t a hole at all, but the beginning of a steep passageway leading deep into the bowels of the earth.”
***
The owner of the land decided to unofficially call the newly-discovered cavern Graysole Caverns. Out of respect for him, this is also the name we all used. This is the story of how I found myself in the bowels of a strange subterranean tunnel, a tunnel where creatures beyond my comprehension slunk and hunted, skittering monstrosities who would be more at home in a nightmare.
After grabbing a couple coffees to take with us, Sonia drove over to Graysole Farms. Cows stood out in the grassy fields, huddled in tight circles as they repetitively chewed. The thin silhouette of Jack Graysole waited for us next to the herd. He had a face like a raisin, I thought to myself. I watched his thin, shaking body standing in the middle of an overgrown grassy field. Jack stared down blankly at something only he could see. Sonia and I started unloading some equipment from the car while we waited for Phil.
Once we had the backpacks loaded with some simple supplies, such as water, food, headlamps, rope, a couple extra batteries, some buck knives, and radios, we headed over to accompany Jack. We weren’t taking much, as we didn’t really expect to be down there for more than six or seven hours at the most.
Jack Graysole’s withered old face was as slack and expressionless as that of a corpse. He stared down at the ground as if he were in a trance, waving back and forth slowly on his feet like a plant in a light breeze.
“Jack?” Sonia called out as we approached. I could hear the man’s teeth chattering as we got nearer.
“Hey, what are you doing over here this early? You interested in accompanying us down there?” Sonia joked. But Jack might as well have been totally deaf for all the reaction he gave. Sonia glanced over at me with an anxious expression. I wondered if the old man was having a stroke.
I quickly walked over to where he stood, staring down at a black circular hole about three feet across directly in front of his feet. The entrance to Graysole Caverns stared up at us like a sightless pupil. As I drew within a few feet of Jack and looked straight into his blank eyes, I noticed something alarming.
His pupils were quickly dilating and constricting before my eyes. They would shrink to tiny pinpoints, then, a couple seconds later, rapidly expand until they became dark and serious. I could see his thready, rapid heartbeat pulsating in a vein on the side of his temple. Alarmed, I reached forward and put my hand on his shoulder.
Instantly, he came to life, like a man waking up from a nightmare. Shrieking, he looked at me with fully dilated pupils, reminding me of a panicked deer surrounded by wolves. His quavering old man’s voice shook with ineffable existential horror and mortal fear.
He took a step back away from us, seeming to realize where he was and what he was doing. He looked around, confused, then straight at me and Sonia. His eyes focused with anger and fear, as if we were demons here to drag him down to Hell. His eyes flicked back and forth between us constantly. Jack raised a trembling hand and pointed it straight at my heart.
“It’s you,” he said, his voice dropping to a harsh whisper. His teeth chattered despite the warm spring air. His skin looked deathly pale. “You’re the one who will bring an end to humanity, who will release the ruler of nightmares upon us.” He continued to point accusingly for a long moment at me, his face turning chalk-white. Then his eyes rolled up in his head. Slowly, he stumbled and fell backwards onto the soft grass of the field.
“Jack!” Sonia cried, running over to the old man. Jack’s breaths had started to come in slow, drawn-out gurgles, like a man with a slit throat trying to breathe. Frothy blood bubbled from his lips as they turned blue. Staring up at the endless expanse of cloudless sky, he exhaled one last shuddering breath and died.
***
Phil showed up only a couple minutes later. He found me and Sonia in a state of utter panic, both of us bent double over the still body of Jack. Sonia was on the phone with 911, and I was trying to give Jack chest compressions. The way his fingernails and lips shone with that cyanotic blue cast made me feel sick and weak. I knew it was futile, that I was simply playing with a corpse at this point, but I didn’t know what else to do. I felt if I didn’t do something, I might explode.
I heard the faint wailing of sirens approaching as Sonia’s panicked voice continued babbling to the 911 operator. Phil stood by her side, his tall, dark features searching and lost.
“Oh God, I think he’s dead!” Sonia cried over and over to the operator, as if she thought the operator could do anything about it. I didn’t hear what the operator said in response. As the ambulance pulled in, I gave up on chest compressions. I stood up and took a step back, looking sadly down on the kindly old man’s dead body.
The paramedics ran over. Phil, Sonia and I stood back while they worked on the corpse, trying to shock the heart back into life. But Jack’s open eyes stayed glazed as they stared sightlessly up into eternity.
***
The paramedics left. A couple police officers stayed behind to ask us a few routine questions. Eventually, after an hour or so, they left, too.
“What a fucked-up day,” Phil said, shaking his head grimly. “Do you guys still want to do this? Maybe it’s an omen from God telling us to go home.” Sonia and I exchanged a glance, then we both nodded at the same time.
“Definitely,” she said. “It’s sad what happened to Jack, but realistically, we don’t know what’s going to happen to this property now that he’s passed away. It might get sold or taken by the bank for all we know. This could be our one and only chance to explore this cave.”
“I don’t believe in omens. I’m still down,” I said, feeling slightly sick from the experience. I still remembered how Jack’s body had cracked under the weight of my chest compressions, how his ribs had snapped like bones shattering in greedy hands. “We’ll do it in memory of Jack. I plan to put this up on YouTube.” I pulled my GoPro out of my bag, turning it on. Phil groaned at that.
“Do we have any idea how far down this cave goes?” Phil asked. I felt a sense of relief now that the topic had changed from the death of the old man.
“I sent a little camera down on a rope, but it only went about a hundred feet,” Sonia responded. “It’s pretty steep at first, then it levels out. I couldn’t really see much after it leveled out, but it looks like it should be easy to climb down. There’s plenty of handholds, lots of jutting rocks.”
Phil put on his headlamp and small pack. As he crawled down into the hole, his tanned face looked up at us and gave us one last devilish grin. Once he had gone down a few dozen feet, Sonia started descending. She looked excited and happy. I noticed how she couldn’t stop smiling as she disappeared from view.
I watched their lights grow smaller and dimmer in the circular tunnel. I marveled at how perfectly circular the entrance was. It almost didn’t even look natural.
Taking a deep breath in, I followed my friends down into the dark.
***
“This isn’t too bad,” I said as I climbed down. The jutting rocks gave plenty of handholds and footholds for us. It wasn’t so tight that it felt like a coffin, either.
“It only gets easier from here!” Sonia called up.
“How do you know?” I asked. “You said you’ve never been here before.” She laughed.
“I know. Probably just wishful thinking,” she said. Far below us, Phil’s voice drifted up, faint and weak. He had already reached the bottom.
“The tunnel really opens up down here, guys,” he called. “It’s somewhat… bizarre, though.”
“What do you mean by that?” Sonia asked. I looked down, seeing Sonia and I would reach the bottom in seconds. “Forget it, I’ll let it be a surprise.” I heard her drop down. Slowly and carefully, I lowered myself down the last few feet. There was a short fall onto a smooth granite floor. I looked up, seeing what Phil and Sonia were so mesmerized by.
“Oh, wow,” I said, speechless. I blinked rapidly, wondering if the image would clear like a mirage. The tunnel was cut into a perfectly triangular shape, each side about seven feet long. The ceiling met in a point above our heads.
All along the smooth walls of gray rock, I saw thousands of black orbs peeking out. They looked similar to obsidian, but they were perfectly smooth and circular, each about the size of an orange. They were formed into interlocking diagonal patterns and followed the tunnel straight down as far as the eye could see.
“What is this place?” Sonia asked, taking a tentative step forward. I looked up, seeing the distant pinpoint of sunlight far above our heads. Our voices continued to echo off down the massive tunnels, disappearing in eerie waves into the thick curtain of shadows.
“Are you recording all this?” Phil asked me. I laughed, giddy.
“Of course! This is internet gold right here,” I said. “No one’s going to believe that this isn’t man-made, however. I can’t even believe it. Do you think Jack was playing a joke on us or something?”
“Jack had the sense of humor of a wet paper towel,” Phil whispered, shaking his head. “No, he wouldn’t do something like this.”
“Well, let’s go check it out,” Sonia said, taking a step forward. Her headlamp bobbed up and down rapidly, throwing dancing shadows through the triangular tunnel. It continued straight ahead, without the slightest deviation or curve, disappearing off into a dark point in the distance.
***
We walked as fast as we could, excited to see where, if anywhere, the strange tunnel led. Phil, always the conspiracy theorist, babbled excitedly.
“This has to be aliens, man,” he said, running his fingers through his dark hair. “I bet that scientists will find out this shit is millions of years old when we get back up and tell everyone. Maybe aliens came to earth in ancient times and made a bunch of stuff underground.” Gradually, as we walked, I noticed the tunnel opening up. The pointed triangular ceiling rose up higher above our heads and the walls moved outwards, as if we were walking up a triangular funnel. At first, it was so subtle that I didn’t believe it when Sonia pointed it out.
“No, look,” she said, raising her hand above her head. “When we first started down this weird tunnel, my fingers were only maybe a foot away from the top. Now it’s a couple feet.” I was about to respond when our headlamps illuminated something standing in the middle of the tunnel.
“What the fuck is that?” I whispered, stopping cold in my tracks. Phil and Sonia looked up at the abomination at the same time. Its back was to us. It stood nearly as tall as the tunnel, which was now about twenty feet high.
The bottom half looked black and spidery with dozens of long, jointed legs. A bloody, white spine rose out of the mass of legs. Inhumanly long, skeletal arms stretched out in front of it. Its face was pointed away from us, but the back of its head resembled an enormous pointed skull with deep fissures like the cracks of an earthquake running through the bone. The abomination stayed as still as a statue, and for a long moment, I wondered if we were looking at some macabre work of art.
Then, suddenly, one of its insectile legs twitched. A moment later, the other legs started jerking and twisting. There was a sound like bones shattering as it rose up to its full height, turning around to face us.
Its face was like something from a nightmare, melting and reforming constantly like dripping candle wax. I would see a black eye appear on its forehead, then a grinning mouth on its chin, then the features would get sucked back into the folds of melting flesh. After a few moments, two enormous eyes appeared on its face, dark and cold like craters on the surface of the Moon. The mouths and noses disappeared back into the dripping skin, and only the two lidless eyes remained, emanating a cold, reptilian consciousness beyond the ability of my mind to comprehend. I felt terror radiating from its body like freezing waves.
“Free me,” it cried in a gurgling voice that seethed with insanity. It had a shrieking, metallic ringing behind every word that gave it an alien quality. “Free me, and I will give you the waters of eternal life. Within me, I contain the seeds of immortality. Within the nightmares, we live forever, always together, never alone.”
“Who are you?” I asked, terrified. The black reptilian skin of the enormous beast glistened as it knelt down, its massive face drawing near to mine. A sideways mouth burst out of the liquified flesh, showing hundreds of fangs growing like tumors from its white, bloodless gums. The fangs varied in size from only a couple inches to long, sword-like projections that stabbed into the creature’s flesh, causing white blood glittering with rainbows to fall like raindrops all around me.
“I have many names,” it hissed, its thousand voices rising and falling in crashing waves of sound. “I was present at the beginning, when this planet was no more than dead cliffs and endless freezing oceans. Those holy ones who search for us, the ancient ones, call me Niralahoth.”
“How do we free you?” Phil asked, looking terrified. He held Sonia’s hand tightly.
“By letting me into your mind and body,” Niralahoth cried, shaking the cavern. “I was thrown down here, cursed and forgotten. I cannot leave this place of shadows within this body. But in the body of another, my consciousness can be free, and the seeds of new life can spread beyond this prison.”
“There’s no way anyone’s going to do that,” I said, my eyes widening as Niralahoth’s reptilian skull turned towards me in fury. “I mean, you’re asking one of us to give up our individuality, our lives, right?”
“I am asking you to become one with me and gain power undreamt of by mortals,” it cried. “I have within me the fountain of life, the waters that send death away screaming.” I glanced anxiously at Phil and Sonia, wondering if we would have to run.
“The answer is no,” I said. “I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, we can’t do that,” Phil said, backing me up. “But, anyways, I think our trip has ended. It’s time to turn around…”
“You will never return,” Niralahoth cried, skittering away from us. “If you will not accept salvation, then you must accept death.” Within seconds, it slunk away from us, backpedaling on its many skittering legs into the shadows.
***
All around us, a rumbling started.
There was a pounding that crashed through the rock tunnel, as if an insane blacksmith were hammering on a massive anvil. The ringing of crashing rock started off slowly, with a few stones smashing down around us with heavy blasts of sound. Within seconds, the cacophony sped up, rising into a constant stream of destruction. The black orbs were spinning in place all up and down the tunnel, their glossy obsidian surfaces flashing with sparks of blue light.
“It’s collapsing!” Phil cried, running back in the direction we came, holding Sonia’s hand as she tried to keep up with him. I could only stare for a long moment, not sure what to do. It seemed that the direction Phil was heading stood closer to total collapse.
“Wait!” I cried, but my voice was drowned out in the destruction all around us. I felt a rock smash into my shoulder, sending me down to my feet. I heard Phil give a scream of pain, then another stone came down and smashed into my forehead. I remember seeing everything spinning around me as the world went black.
***
I awoke to find my headlamp still shining straight up in the dusty tunnel. Large chunks of the tunnel had slid out of place and crashed to the stone floor. The granite chunks that had fallen looked unnaturally smooth, most of them in the shapes of cylinders or cubes and varying in size from that of an egg to that of a small car.
My head throbbed. It felt as if a tight belt of fire were wrapped around my temples. Groaning, I put my fingers up to my forehead. They came away slick with blood.
Slowly, I started pushing myself up on my feet. I was relieved that nothing seemed broken. I had a deep gash running from the center of my scalp down to my left temple and some shallower cuts on my shoulders and back, but I knew none of that was life-threatening.
“Sonia?” I whispered, my voice coming out weak and strained. I reached into my pack and found a bottle of water. I chugged it quickly in one long swallow.
“Phil?” I cried again, this time stronger. I heard a soft weeping nearby. Staggering, I followed the sound.
Sonia was bloody and covered in cuts and scrapes, sitting next to Phil’s prone form. I saw Phil’s right arm pinned under a massive slab of granite. His arm disappeared from the elbow down in a spreading puddle of thick, dark blood.
“Oh God, Max, I think he’s hurt really bad,” she wept. Phil’s eyes rolled wildly in his head, his face pale and bloodless. I looked down the way we had come, seeing the entire tunnel blocked by large slabs of stone, many with strange, black orbs peeking out like the lenses of cameras.
***
I don’t know how much time passed. My phone died after a day, and then we were counting the endless darkness in breaths and tears.
Phil swam in and out of consciousness as his arm putrefied and blackened around the crush site. After a couple days, Sonia and I agreed that something had to be done. We told Phil we would need to amputate his arm. He was half-delirious, but he came back long enough to understand us and nod weakly.
We made a fire with Phil’s pack, trying to find fuel to throw in it to get it roaring. As it grew, I saw one of the black orbs near the flames abruptly ignite, as if it had been covered in gasoline. Blue, almost colorless flames rose from its surface. We started throwing the small black orbs on the fire until it rose high in the air. I sanitized the buck knife with the flames and pulled a rope tourniquet tight around Phil’s arm. He was conscious but seemingly insane, talking to himself more than anyone else.
“How are we going to get the car started without a key?” he gurgled to someone only he could see. “We need to look around. It has to be here somewhere.”
“Phil, can you hear me, bud? We need to fix your arm. We need to get you out of this mess. OK?” I said as comfortingly as I could. Phil’s eyes rolled wildly, but they didn’t meet my own. I sighed and looked over at Sonia.
“Let’s do it,” I said, giving a grim nod.
I pulled the buck knife out, slicing quickly down through the flesh next to the tourniquet. His veins throbbed like fat worms as the blackened, necrotic skin split easily under the blade, releasing a rancid-smelling gas that hissed out of the wound.
I couldn’t believe how hard it was to slice all the way through the arm. It felt like I was stuck in that hellish task forever. Phil’s eyes rolled in his head as his skin turned the color of clotted milk.
“God, Jesus, make it stop,” Phil whispered over and over, exhaling ragged, pain-filled breaths. The blood spurted from the blackened, dying tissue all over the dust-covered cavern floor, covering my hands in its warm, slick embrace.
After what was probably only three or four minutes, but felt like hours, I had sliced all the way down to the bone. The infected tissue of his arm spurted great gouts of orange pus mixed with rivulets of blood. The hard part was over.
Standing up, I took my steel-toe sneaker and stomped down on his arm as hard as I could. Phil cried out in a powerful voice, as if all the agony and suffering in the world was contained in that one shriek. The bone snapped under my weight with a sound like a tree branch cracking. A moment later, Phil rolled away from the rock that had pinned me in place for so long. Something alien and spongy was shoved into my face, a mass of destroyed red tissue pulsating in time with a runaway heartbeat. At first, shell-shocked and revolted, my mind couldn’t comprehend that I was looking at the stump of Phil’s mutilated arm. I hardened my heart and forced the giddiness and madness to the back of my mind. The time had come to cauterize the wound.
“Sonia, give it to me,” I said with a tremor in my voice. I reached out a hand towards her, a hand stained with Phil’s blood. It looked as if I were wearing a wet, crimson glove. Sonia only stared blankly at me for a long moment, however. A surge of anger ran up my chest.
“Sonia, toughen the fuck up! He’s going to die if you just sit there!” I swore at her, hearing my deep, angry voice bounce around the caverns. Sonia pulled back, as if she were struck. Inwardly, I cursed having a woman as my only able-bodied companion in this situation. She was a competent enough caver, but what would happen if violence and blood came over us? What would happen if, or more realistically when, we needed to fight?
Grimly, Sonia leaned forward and yanked the burning black orb out of the roaring fire, handing it to me on the end of a buck knife that had just barely pierced its hard, strange exterior. The handle of the knife felt coarse and splintery under my filthy skin. I put it to the spongy stump of Phil’s arm. The stump twitched violently. Phil tried to pull away as black smoke rose from the burning flesh.
There was a smell like bacon sizzling. The searing meat of Phil’s arm blackened and crisped under the heat of the orb, which had become no more than a cylinder of glowing blue embers by this point. I felt simultaneously sick and giddy. I didn’t know if I wanted to laugh or vomit. I felt like I was on the verge of some kind of madness, that the stress and insanity of the experience had started to shatter my mind.
His eyes rolled back in his head and he appeared to go into a seizure for a few seconds. With a long exhalation of breath, he finally, mercifully, lost consciousness. It’s hard to admit it, even this close to the end, but a small, sick piece of me was jealous of Phil. Most likely, he would be dead soon, maybe within hours, while Sonia and I would slowly starve and dehydrate like animals over a period of weeks. I looked at her lithe body and soft skin, seeing the feminine curves of her hips and chest. She was a beautiful woman. I knew Phil to be a lucky man. At least, before this trip, he was.
I watched her body, wondering if I had what it took to eat her or Phil if I had to. Did I have an iron heart that would allow me to slice into my friends and consume their raw, cold flesh? Perhaps, by that point, it would be hunger and madness driving me forward, and I wouldn’t even hesitate. I shuddered at the very thought.
***
I fell asleep that night, having strange dreams of massive gods with melting faces sitting in judgment in a circle around me. We had very little food or water left. No one knew we were down here. Rescue was not coming.
When I awoke, I found myself alone. Phil had died from his injuries while I slept, the black streaks of septic shock spreading up his arm towards his heart. His eyes stared sightlessly up at the rock ceiling.
“Sonia?” I called out, my heart racing as I sat up. “Where are you?” My headlamp was growing dim. I looked in my pack, realizing I was on the last of my batteries. I saw a silhouette walking out of the darkness, the thin, pale form of Sonia. She was trembling badly.
“I saw them,” she said. “Niralahoth and its priests. The priests aren’t human. They look reptilian with sideways mouths and too many eyes.” She shuddered.
“Why would you do that?” I asked. Her eyes grew distant.
“You know we’re not getting out of here alive,” she said. “Not on our own. I wanted to see what it offered. It says that if we take a piece of its nightmare into us, we will gain the power to leave this place, that it simply wants to see the surface and spread its nightmares there.” I shook my head.
“Insanity,” I muttered. “We’d be better off dead.” Sonia nodded.
“My thoughts exactly,” she responded grimly. I didn’t realize what she meant until the next day, when I woke up and found her hanging next to Phil’s body, her tongue swollen and blue as it poked out of her cyanotic lips. And then I was truly alone.
***
Soon after Sonia committed suicide, the last of the batteries for the headlamp died. I had run out of food and had only a small sip of water left. I don’t know how much time passed in the darkness, starving and raving, following the tunnel by running my hands over the walls. I heard many things skittering in the darkness, and a few times, I heard the demonic voice of Niralahoth as it split and distorted.
“You are on death’s door,” it hissed. “Will you not drink from the fountain of life?” I couldn’t tell where the voice came from in the maddening blackness. It seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere. I had lost nearly all of my sanity in that pit of shadows by this point. I tried laughing constantly to keep my spirits up, and when that failed, I simply cried.
“I’ll do it,” I wailed. “I’ll do it. Just let me see the sky again. Get me out of here, Niralahoth.” Everything went deathly silent all around me, then a laugh rang out like the grinding of glass.
In front of me, I saw a tornado of fire descending from the ceiling, surrounding the massive, spidery form of Niralahoth. It rose its skeletal arms upwards, as if it were Zeus calling down lightning. In the sudden brightness, I saw the fiery form of snakes slithering and centipedes skittering forwards in that tornado, each massive creature sculpted from flames in the spinning cyclone of energy. Niralahoth reached into the tornado of fire with its sharp points of fingers and plucked something small from it. The fire instantly dissipated. In its hand, I saw a tiny, swirling orb that looked like it contained a firestorm within it.
“The nightmare seed,” Niralahoth gurgled as it skittered forward towards me. I could only stare, open-mouthed and starving. I hadn’t slept for days, it felt like, and everything seemed slow and unreal.
In a blur, its skeletal arm shot out and forced the orb into my mouth. Despite the fire raging within it, it felt freezing cold. As it touched my tongue, it gave off a sensation like frostbite all throughout my mouth. I screamed and tried spitting it out, but it seemed to have a mind of its own. It started liquifying, dripping down my throat.
I felt something cancerous and sick spreading throughout my body, radiating out from my heart and stomach to every inch of it. I tried to scream, but it caught behind my teeth. I fell to my knees, clawing at my face as that insane, alien laugh continued resounding all down the tunnel. I fell unconscious and woke up under a beautiful sky in the fields of Graysole Farms.
***
Soon after, I realized that my life would never be the same. Everywhere I went, I could hear the wailing voice of Niralahoth. Behind the trees, I always saw skittering shadows, creatures with long, spidery legs that stalked me every day and night. I slept with every light in the house turned on, yet when I woke up, they would all be shut off, and I would find myself in darkness, next to something in the bed with far too many legs and a face that dripped like burning wax.
I sold everything I owned and tried to move far away, to give as much distance between myself and those cursed caverns as I could, but the nightmares followed me like a shadow. I realize what a fool I was in those ephemeral moments of madness. Sonia was much wiser than myself; I should have killed myself or died rather than allowing that thing inside of me.
Even now, I can feel it creeping through my heart, spreading through my blood. I feel it trying to crawl its way out of my throat, the thin, black legs peeking out at the back of my esophagus.
I only hope that, when I finally jump and feel my bones shatter against the concrete far below, I will kill whatever is inside of me. For I fear the consequences for the world if it were to escape.

This is not my confession, its a copy paste of a real confession
Today I want to come clean about something I feel very badly about. I cannot undo some of the things I have done, but hopefully this message will prevent other such occurrences in the future.
I am a paid basher.
Yes, it is true. Today is my last day at this company; I'm moving on to a new job. I've realized that there are more dignifying jobs out there that can pay me equally as well. But before I go, I want to explain a few things because this just isn't right and I won't feel good about myself until I expose this sham. It's hurt too many people and I don't want it on my conscience anymore. I can no longer live with a lie.
I work for a company called Global Calumny Funds in Stamford, CT. Basically, it's a Boiler Room much like the one in the movie of the same name. The idea behind my group is to bash the price of a company's stock down low enough to where the group of investors who retained our company's services can buy the stock really cheap and perhaps even take it over all together.
There are approximately 70 people at the company divided into several groups. My group, consisting of 5 people, is responsible for IDWD. While I probably shouldn't give any names of anyone working here now, what the heck, I'm leaving here, so what can they do? sue me? Ha! I can tell you that laptoptrader and janice shell were part of my group until he left last week, as was ninaturtle. Others who have been part of this include early bashers like hard data and Investorman. You may be interested to know that some hypsters, such as MONEYMADE and even Datatech!!, have also been part of the scam (more on that later).
There are several companies engaged in the bashing business, ours is not the only one. However, I can tell you that not every basher in here is a paid basher. Having done this for a year, I can usually tell who is a paid basher and who is merely someone having a little fun. While unpaid bashers have a different motive than someone like me, they can be unwilling accomplices to helping me achieve my ultimate goal and they also spread rumor and confusion throughout a room, which also helps me.
What is that goal? Well, I am merely a cog in a much larger machine, so my bosses never really explained the big picture to me, but I'd say essentially, Shaddowwatch2oo3 was right. There are several companies who are quite familiar with Jim Bishop and Janice Shell and who are deathly afraid of them.
There are three types of bashers here at Global Calumny Funds: Advanced, Intermediate and Beginner. An Advanced-level basher (also known as a Silver Tongued Devil) would spread false or misleading information about the company. They would deal in facts, countering every longs post with articles, news reports and opinion surveys that gave a negative impression about the company.
An Intermediate-level basher (also known as a Serpent) would try to weasel their way into the confidence of longs and create doubt using rumor or innuendo.
Finally, a Beginner-level basher (also known as a Pitchfork) would attempt to create confusion in the room by distracting other posters with satire, name calling and pointless arguments. The idea was to make sure no serious discussion of the stock could take place. A Pitchfork was usually a basher, but not always. Sometimes, we would throw in a hypster Pitchfork such as MONEYMADE and laptop and a pumper like Datatech to create the illusion of an argument going on. What was really funny (in a perverse way, I guess) was that Datatech and I sat next to each other, laughing the whole time.
I was a Serpent basher, because I am known for effective bashing based on solid facts and truth. I was paid a base wage of $18 an hour for my services. I was given a $1.25 bonus for every decent quality post over 100 per day as well as a monthly bonus of $100 for every penny the stock had dropped from the previous month. I was also paid a bonus for bashing on weekends. While this may not sound like much, I made a decent, though dishonorable, paycheck plus a nice Laptop with free wireless internet connection.
Each of us sat in a small half-cubicle in a cluster with our teammates. Each group (usually five people) was made of three beginners (two who would bash and one who would hype), one intermediate and one advanced level basher. Occasionally for some of the hotter stocks, one of the beginners would be replaced by an intermediate depending on how much the stock was rising. IDWD was a low-level stock, meaning it got the 3-1-1 configuration.
Honestly though, somehow, I get the feeling that WV Hillbilly may have worked for a basher company or knows someone who does because the fund websites he occasionally posts is eerily similar to our employer's websites. While not exact, I'd say it is about 90 percent the same. We do have certain rules that we follow.
First, we have to develop a character and stay within that character in order to build a "following." My character, "FogOfWar," was a humorous, sarcastic, obnoxious supporter of free speech and loved to portray himself as a truth-telling superhero, but only when it came to bashers.
Next, we had to follow certain guidelines on what we could say. We were urged to have an "answer" to every long's question, but we were to frame that answer in a way that ridiculed the questioner for asking such a question. However, we were never to use profanity or vulgarity because that would cause people to ignore us. We were to make fun of people, but in a civil way. The idea was to get "play," i.e. reaction from other posters. The more play we got, the more the room would be disrupted. Ignored posters get no play. One exception would be the hypsters since they were "defending" the stock against our onslaught, they got a little more leeway. People would side with the hypster because they thought he was real since he appeared to be on their side, but was really on ours, setting us up to disrupt the room. MoneyMade was quite good at this and gets paid very well.
I've worked on IDWD, VLO, AGII, QBID, BKMP for a few months now. In addition to the FogOfWar alias, I've used a few others on several other boards as well. I've used so many aliases that I can not remember the monikers or the passwords. I honestly lost track of everything. I stuck with FogOfWar because it was the one that got the most play from other posters.
In closing, I feel absolutely terrible about this. It's just awful how I've been part of a scam designed to cheat honest, hard-working people out of their investments all for the benefit of a few wealthy people who already have enough money to last a lifetime.
These greedy people MUST be stopped. That's why I'm posting this before I leave. I want to make up for some of the damage I've done. I can't live with this lie anymore. You can't imagine how hard it is to look at myself in the mirror each morning knowing my job is to cheat and lie.
I have to go now, I'm too broken up to continue. I hope this confession can make up for my sordid deeds; I would urge everyone who reads this to inform as many people as you can. Only by shining the light of truth can we drive these rats back into the darkness from whence they came. Believe me, they don't want publicity.
Good luck and I hope all of you the best in your investment endeavors.

The resistance didn't last long. The southerners abandoned their shield wall and laid down their spears after one charge, one engagement.
Rakko knew his men thirsted for blood shed. They had been baying for it in their rapid march the past five days. So quick that they caught the town off guard. The heads of the defenders were taken off. Paraded amongst one another. Some of the more zealous kneeled northward muttering prayers after the effecient bloodshed was finished. King Rakko watched distantly as they entered the broken wooden gates, the town was full.
Down here not every man was a soldier, craftsmen aplenty, women and children. Most on their knees by their stone houses of their impressive two floors.
'Any who wish to couple or fight longer I suggest you come find me as your victim' he boomed at his men watching their excitement change back to discipline.
'Loot what provisions you can and then we move on,'
A woman let out a cry throwing herself at the king in the silent marketsquare.
'Sangar, transate for me, tell them we come south for victory. Tell them the men that follow us come to exact vengence. They should abandon this place, immediately. Surrender will not be an option'
The giant nodded and spoke that femine tongue.
The men did as they were told keeping wachither in line taking what grain and dried fish they could. The locals, trembled and moved around the settlement like field mice.
How had the Archipeligo caused such casualties with such a timid culture he wondered. The fish tasted discipicable, food from the ocean was a travesty, but Rakko knew he would need every ounce of strength he could steel.
'My king, this one here speaks our tongue, a teacher says he can help us with information' Sangar grunted his hand on the shoulder of an elderly bearded man in pristine purple robe. He did not bear fear on his face, excitement perhaps it was. They would have to be running again soon, they had to keep ahead of the rest of the tribes and get to Ketil.
'Speak then'
'I am a great professor, and here is a great university, where only the sons of Councilmen and governors send their sons'
The old man paused as if he had just solved a great mystery.
'Yes?'
The teacher frowned 'well, you can use them as hostages in your campaign, get lords to bow to you easier. They're hiding in the university and the crowds, I'd be happy to point them out to you, if only I am compensated correctly'
Rakko stared at the teachet until the old man had to look away.
'These are children?'
'Yes, they go back to their families at fifteen'
'And why would you think I would do such a thing'
The old man stuttered 'well from our studies of the barbarians histage taking has given you alot of wealth'
'I've no need of coin. And the world has no need for ill intentioned teachers. You are to plant seeds for the shade of the youth in the garden as a teacher. I shall plant you in the earth this day as a reminder for any who wishes to betray their students in the days that come'
The professor, had his mouth stuffed with his manhood and was left in a rushed open grave. He died as he had lived.
The Soot men ran. South, they ran hard under the sunlight, their squires trailing behind. A day later outside of Ketil, Rakko saw they were not the only ones rushing to take this key piece. Dust was being kicked up in the valley below them into a thick cloud.
'Armour on!' He boomed 'you came with me to make war! Show me. Show yourselves, show eachother!'
The men cheered.

Full disclosure: I do not speak Frisian or play guitar. I do not know very much about music theory or linguistics. This is just an observation I have made. If I’m using any terms incorrectly or misunderstanding something, please feel free to let me know.
When I say Frisian, I am referring to West Frisian. I haven’t listened to enough of the other dialects of Frisian to say if it applies to Saterland Frisian and/or North Frisian as well. To a certain extent, what I am saying about West Frisian also applies to Dutch, which has a number of differences from Frisian (fewer vowel sounds, for example) but is closely related to it and has a similar feeling.
When I say “mathy or twinkly emo” I am referring to the more energetic subgenre of midwest emo influenced by math rock and post rock that became more prominent in the late 2000s and early 2010s. Some refer to it as twinkledaddies. However, there is a more specific branch of twinkly emo that I believe shares the same feeling as Frisian. I am not talking about the more glum, atmospheric, and post-rock influenced twinkly emo. Empire! Empire! (I Was a Lonely Estate) and The World is a Beautiful Place and I am No Longer Afraid to Die do NOT sound Frisian.
I think Algernon Cadwallader is the best example of a band whose guitar work sounds like Frisian. I Love Your Lifestyle is a good example too. There’s something about the whimsical energy of these bands that can also be felt in Frisian.
With all of that said, it’s challenging to pinpoint which traits of Frisian and twinkly emo are responsible for this feeling they have in common. Even if we were to say that arpeggios, DAEAC#E tuning, or writing music in this or that key signature, that would not explain why Frisian and this corner of emo are connected.
English is closely related to Frisian and most Midwest emo bands are composed of people whose first language is English. I don’t find this to be a compelling explanation at all though. Countless forms of music have sprung from the Anglosphere that do NOT feel Frisian in the slightest. There are many examples of artists making twinkly emo or music that sounds very similar whose tongues do not descend from Hengist or Horsa. As much as I adore the English language, I don’t think it’s responsible for the similarities between twinkly emo and Frisian. Also, there was that one post about the guy from Uruguay back in the 80s whose guitar playing sounded really similar to today's midwest emo.
In all likelihood, this is a case of cultural convergent evolution. So far, I have not found any evidence that these early emo revival bands were going for a Frisian-inspired sound or have any connection to Frisia. Over the course of centuries, the Frisian language evolved to sound the way it does, and then later on this subgenre of emo independently captured the same feeling as Frisian phonetics. Were similar selective pressures placed on them to mold some deeper essence (what some might refer to as “vibes”) in both Frisian and twinkly emo into twins? There are some things in language and music that may always remain mysteries. The most well known example of convergent evolution is that things keep evolving into crabs/crab-shaped animals. Rather than analogous body shapes, this can be thought of as two separate cultural phenomena (music and language) developing analogous essences. To compare it to the phenomenon of carcinisation, it would be like if a proto-crab evolved into a crab and then a bird evolved into a crab-shaped bird. They are both animals and both crab-shaped but not related.
Perhaps the simplest way of putting it is that the essence of twinkly emo is shaped like how the sound of Frisian is shaped.
So, what do you all make of this? Have you noticed the connection too? Do you have any theories on which traits of West Frisian and the more energetic twinkly emo influenced by math rock their common essence/“vibe”? Do you have any theories on what caused it? Although I am not religious and therefore would find any explanations involving divine guidance or some other supernatural force hard to believe, please do not hesitate to share such theories if that’s what you believe. I always try to keep an open mind. I have no interest in disputing anyone’s faith in a higher power so long as it is not pushing them in the direction of blind hatred, violence toward innocent people, or pacifism in the face of a monstrous enemy. If you believe God played a role in this, I want you to feel comfortable sharing that but I also don’t want a conversation about music and language to turn into a religious debate. Let’s try to keep things on topic and civil.

First of all sorry for my bad English, it’s not my mother’s tongue. Also it’s kinda long but there’s really a lot to say since it’s something that’s been going on for years.
I (19F) have been friend with this girl (19F) since we were 12. We were really close when we were 15 but drift appart when we entered high school cause we didn’t go to the same one (different city with like 2h away from each others). But we were still close. I considered her my bestfriend for a long time.
On day, when we were 16, we went on a week vacation at the beach (my parents had a small appartement there that they rent for the Holliday) with our friend groups, we’re five girls. Everything was fine when all of a sudden she snapped at me for being on my phone and not listening to the conv the 4 of them were having. I was really surprised because I thought everything was fine, cause I was in fact listening to there conv, I was just not talking. She started telling me how I seemed unintrested in their conv, about their life and everything. And I was very surprised cause I was in fact interested in everything that she listed. The only thing I wasn’t interested in was whatever they were smoking cause I’ve never smocked once in my life and never will. Things started getting worse and I ended up leaving back to where we were staying, cause I was angry at her for not understating that me not talking didn’t mean that I wasn’t happy to be there with them. I actually had a big panic attack back at the appartement .
Things I didn’t know at that time was that I had depression. That explains a lot of why I didn’t really talked to anyone, didn’t mean that I wasn’t interested in their life, even if it was thing I didn’t enjoy at all, like drinking, talking about boys / sex, getting high, and everything. I was still interested because I loved the 4 of them and they made me happy and that was enough for me. But it wasn’t for her.
Anyway we didn’t really talked to each others till the end of the vacation. She apologized at the end of the summer, while she was drunk. We didn’t really see each other’s for the next year cause I changed school and we were even more far appart.
Anyway we had this groupe chat with the 5 of us for years literally, and we talked on this gc every single day.
As I said before I’ve never been the type of person to talk a lot since nothing really interesting happened in my life, and I had undiagnosed depression. But I’ve always been the listener type of friend.
But as we entered uni (all in different places again) we started talking less and less on this gc At least they did Cause I’ve never talked much I assumed that it was because they were very busy with their life at uni and everything that could go in their personal life too.
Anyway, at that time my depression started getting worse an worse I was having a hard time at work and at uni I tried my best to stay alive (literally) And so I didn’t have time to talk to anyone, cause I literally wasn’t mentally stable enough to even take care of myself properly. This lasted for a year.
Fast forward this year, she told us on the gc that she was pregnant. I started crying, I was so happy for her, I was so happy to finally have some news on this gc. A few weeks passed and I had no news about her pregnancy. I thought about her everyday but I was so busy with school and so depressed that I didn’t send any text.
This honestly is my biggest regret ever, cause I really wanted to send her a text, but the fight we had a few summer before was so bad that I was too scared to talk to her.
Anyway, I finally started taking antidepressant after years being undiagnosed and literally suicidal (not really but I had suicidal thoughts) for years. I started feeling better and was finally able to talk with other people.
They were the first person I told about my depression. They were the first person I reached out to. I was so happy to finally be able to properly apologize for not really being there, and being silence for a long time. Mind you I was silent but I was still watching every single of their stories, wishing them the best and everything. I also asked them how they were doing and especially how she was doing with her pregnancy. They saw my message and like talked like for 2 minutes and that was it. No « I hope you’re ok », no « im glad you finally know what was wrong » nothing. The only thing they told me was the she was waiting for a girl. I was so happy for her.
They didn’t talk for another month till I send another text again, asking about them, how they were doing, how her pregnancy was going. I got no answer from her. I was feeling so bad, cause I knew it was my fault for not reaching out sooner, but at the same time I was incapable of doing so. But I still feel horrible for loosing her like that.
Fast forward 2 weeks ago. I changed my antidepressant medication, took stronger ones cause those I had weren’t strong enough. So I’ve been on medication for 3 months now, and 2 weeks with the new ones.
A few days ago I discovered via their private stories that they have a separate group chat without me, where they are talking every day. And here I was waiting for them to tell me when they were available for us to see each others again after months of not being able to, like I asked them to tell me.
How am I supposed to ask them question if they don’t update me anymore about anything ??? And what am I supposed to do if when I’m asking they don’t reply ???? I honestly felt broken, cause I for really thought that the reason they weren’t talking to our gc anymore was cause they were too busy with they life like I was. Turns out they have a whole ass gc without me where they talk not only everyday but also use to decide when to hand out together. They never asked me once when I was available to hang out with them. Cause I would have gladly clean up my schedule to finally see them again, and finally see Her pregnant. But they didn’t think of asking me.
Anyway today was what really made me feel like an asshole. As I said i have new medication. But this one give me really bad side effects. I have a really hard time breathing, I feel like vomiting, my head is spinning all the time, and above all my chest hurts. So today I called my therapist and she told me to immediately quite my medication. The thing is, my family has heart problems. And she think that’s probably what is happening to me. So today not only did I learn that I had to stop what was finally letting me smile for once, but also that I probably had heart problems and that I have to see a cardiologist as soon as possible. That shit scared me asf as you can imagine.
I got out of work and immediately decided to text them, cause first I wanted to update them on my life, but I also wanted to have updates on theirs. They didn’t say anything, only one of them did. She was there and She saw my text and the only thing she told me when I told Her “I’m sad that I’m the only one who still hasn’t seen you pregnant, I’m sorry I was so busy with work and school, I wanna see you so bad, I hope I’ll be at least able to come the day you give birth”, to not to bother to come see her the day she’ll give birth cause it’s gonna be « to hard for me to come anyway since of my work and my lack of money » (cause mind you she lives very far away from me). I told her it was no problem and that I wanted to be there, but she told me there’s no need to bother. And I know it’s her saying she doesn’t wanna see me anymore. So yeah. That was kinda a long story. But yeah, I’m really sad I wasn’t able to be there for her pregnancy, but I was so depressed it was too hard for me. I don’t expect her to forgive me, but I at least would have liked for her to understand my situation the way I understand why she’s upset.

During a normal work week, my only contact with the world are my few online co-workers. Melissa, a former prodigy and still very young tech genius, who's also my boss. She trades stocks and builds robots for fun, gives sound financial advice, is a Trump supporter, and sometimes seems to use Machiavellian tactics to get what she wants from people.
Then there's my peer and friend David. We started working together at the same time, so we were both the new guys. We would hang out after work when we still lived near each other and got pretty close. After COVID and WFH started, we moved further apart, but we would still talk every single morning while we got started with our day, just like we used to in the office. It was great!
Unfortunately, he started abusing WFH several years ago. He always wanted to start a small side-hustle and I supported THAT idea, what's the harm right? But now he owns a business that he runs while on the clock. Not a side-hustle that sells crap online, no no no. A fully staffed brick-and-mortar business that runs 7 days a week. HOW IN THAT FUCK is that possible!? It’s getting successful too! I was initially proud that he was able to keep up with his 9 to 5 and run a business. Then I learned the truth one day in a confession he made while we were bullshitting. He hasn't been working, not one bit. He clocks in and just drives to his business or takes phone calls, does scheduling, doing payroll, inventory, all the stuff an owner needs to do for their business on a daily basis.
Meanwhile I’m at my desk being messaged all day to do random things, get people the information they need, fix bugs in production or database, give solutions to problems. That's in addition to my actual job, a new major assignments, sometimes several different ones per week. I'm at my desk a minimum of 8 hours a day, but it's usually 10ish. Sometimes I'll work all night or catch up on weekends. He and I both get paid very well for being at a smaller company, over 100k.
It’s become very clear to me I’ve been slowly picking up more and more of David’s work over the last couple years as my work load has been going up dramatically. Melissa seems to have no problem assigning everything to me and letting David’s get away with doing almost nothing.
He is given work, but it's just unimportant jobs with no timeline given. I’ve seen him take a month to scrape a website for competitor data. I know because I helped him debug, I realized he used ChatGPT to write the entire thing and asked him to throw it in the garbage. He said he forgot how to code. No joke. He ended up using a paid service to collect the data to complete the very easy assignment. At our meeting he announced he had a great deal of competitor pricing data to share, and oh boy he got so much encouragement in the meeting, lots of praise. I had to bite my tongue pretty hard. It was right then I realized I was getting very upset about it all, which in turn made me feel guilty because he's a great friend.
I can only assume Melissa is overlooking it all purposely, as a punishment to me for threatening to quit if forced to come back into the office last year when I was asked to. She is very intelligent, so it's beyond me how he is getting away with it so blatantly. David’s my friend, but he has been abusing the business that pays my bills and puts food on my table, and making me work long extra hours to pick up his slack.
My friend still has the nerve to ask for my help when he finally decides to work here and there. I’ve gone from considering him one of my best friends, to almost outright despising him in the last year. I’ve fantasized about ways to tell on him. I know it would do very little in the end. He wouldn’t be replaced and I won’t see a pay raise, so what's the point in betraying him like that. He doesn't seem to realize the side effects of his lack of contributions on my work load, and nobody is saying anything.
It's slowly been causing me to fall into a depression and I'm starting to burn out. I've got about a month of vacation time to use and nothing even sounds fun to do. I've stopped showering as often, I don't do anything fun or ever initiate a conversation with my friends. I stopped working out and running and barely go outside. Hell, I've stopped talking to my dog as much. I just kind of grunt at him now and he understands.
I'm hoping my friends business takes off and he'll just quit, cause it's making me crazy. Thanks for reading.

I’m 37. 22st male statins. Basildon hospital. I was working out in a garage for 6 months boxing lost 4 stone from24. I went to the garage to hit the punch bag felt drained 2 o’clock in the morning felt like I was having a heart attack. So went to the hospital for them to say it’s not which is great news but gave me naproxen but I was already taking statins for high cholesterol. 2nd day of taking them I had a really bad reaction. Hives all over face swollen lips. Felt very strange for months afterwards very weak. Throat would go tight and swell after eaten foods and drinks. I thought I was allergic to these. So would get test always come negative then I asked for a full allergies test 10 months ago I’ve been waiting for ten months I had it booked for next month on the 3rd only for the clinic to cancel my appointment that I’ve been desperately waiting for. I’m gutted they have just randomly cancelled. this is Basildon, and honestly I felt like it was keeping me going. 14 months of hell the doctors have been pretty poor to me I never ever go to the doctors until 14 months ago. I’ve had the ambulance out on a number of occasions I’ve been up the hospital during the nights because I’ve woken up with tight throat. It’s not strep negative it’s not cobble stone negative the believe it could be allergies they also believe it to be silent reflux had taken medication lanzopro can’t spell very well either lol but was making me unwell, I get blurry vision and was asked to get my eyes tested my eyes haven’t changed and are ok. Burning throat white mucus. Probably unrelated but also started 14months ago right shoulder pain right back of neck pain. Because I’ve been going through this for a long time you can imagine mental stress off my throat closing up and not being able to breathe properly. I’ve taken Antihistamine every day for 14 months I feel like they don’t help. I have had test for pots copd and asthma was all under long Covid testing but the only thing they found was a restriction on my left lung but don’t know what it is. I got referred to respiratory clinic FINALY after 14 months of begging then I got a letter to say it will be October. I’m very depressed on how things are going I’m not getting the correct help the doctors I’ve had to change because the lady wasn’t helping me so I made a complaint and refused to see her and the see the head nurse if that’s a thing she wasn’t much better I said I need test to see what these lumps are it could be a tumour or cancer she laughed at me. I put the phone down check my nhs app online for her to write. patient thinks he has cancer and he would benefit from counselling therapy and now I’m doing therapy second session honestly hand on my heart these gps have really made me feel like I’m going insane at times. Can’t find nothing wrong with me but I’m really unwell with all this. Blury eyes sore tight throat flare up. Itchy skin sometimes swollen tongue itchy skin after shower, hard to swallow at times back of tongue lumps swell red spots on tongue keep having white film over tongue white mucus over throat fatigued every day. Wake up during the night with tingling arms and shoulders. Was out in the sun the other day few hours my hands burned but felt tingling for days. Very dry hands almost like I was having a reaction from the sun. Im not a praying man but I’ve done a lot of praying this year. Any help suggestions would great be appreciated. I’m at the end with it all.

First / Previous / Royal Road / Patreon (Read 12 Chapters Ahead)

Together, Pale and Kayla dragged the mage back to the cave they'd been using for shelter, barely managing to get him inside before the snowfall began again. Pale tied his hands behind his back and his legs together using some paracord she had in her pack, and the two of them stood over the man, staring down at him.
"What now?" Kayla asked. "Do we wait for him to-"
Pale cut her off by bringing the stock of her shotgun across the berserker's face. He reeled from the strike, suddenly catapulting awake, his eyes wide as several of his teeth came spilling out across the stone cave floor. He coughed, spitting out a glob of blood before fixing her with a harsh glare. Smoke began to rise from his palms, but Pale stopped him by putting the barrel of her gun flush with his crotch.
"Unless you want to lose something, I'd suggest keeping your magic under control," she threatened. "Because if I pull this trigger, there isn't a healer alive who'll be able to give back what you'll lose."
The man snarled at her, but the smoke curling up from his hands stopped all the same. He spat out more blood. "The fuck am I still alive for?"
"I think you know exactly what you're alive for. Now, are you going to play nice and tell us what we want to know, or am I going to have to force it out of you piece by piece?"
The mage grinned at her, showing off a mouth full of missing teeth and liquid crimson. "You really think I'd betray my brothers like that?"
"Last I checked, your brothers are all dead," Pale said absentmindedly. "But still, I was hoping you'd pick the hard way; I needed to relieve some stress."
She let her shotgun hang from its sling, then drew her knife. With her free hand, she grabbed one of his fingers, then positioned the blade at the tip.
"Last chance to offer up what you know," she threatened.
The mage barked out a laugh. "Fuck off. You really think I'd ever-"
His bravado suddenly gave way to an agonized scream as Pale forced the blade of her knife underneath his fingernail. He thrashed in agony as she twisted the knife before roughly yanking it free, taking the fingernail with it. She held the disembodied nail up to him, then flicked it away.
"Have I made my point?" she said evenly. "Because last I checked, you've still got nine fingers and ten toes, not to mention a variety of other things I could poke at and prod at and cut off. And when you run out of those, I can just start skinning you bit by bit."
"Fuck you…" he breathed through gritted teeth. "I'll never-"
She took another fingernail for his troubles. Idly, Pale was aware of Kayla flinching with every scream that erupted out of the man's throat, but that didn't bother her.
Kayla had specified no death, but that didn't mean she couldn't make this hurt like hell.
She again positioned the knife at one of his fingertips, only for him to give a weak, shuddering, pain-filled cough.
"W-wait…" he croaked.
"I see your tongue has been thoroughly loosened," she surmised, though she didn't dare to move the blade even a millimeter away from his next finger.
"What do you have for me?"
"I can give you our leader's name."
"And?"
"What do you mean, and? He doesn't tell us anything, he just pays us and feeds us, like any good leader should."
Pale's expression narrowed. "You had better give me something more substantial to go on, otherwise I have no reason to keep you around."
"Pale-" Kayla began, only to fall silent when she held up a hand. Reluctantly, Kayla backed down, though she continued to look on with concern as Pale's grip around her blade turned white-knuckled.
"Tell me something useful," Pale demanded. "Unless you want to see exactly how much pain I can commit to before I get bored."
"Okay, okay!" the bandit growled. "Fine… our leader's name is Sven Greymane, the warrior-king of the northern isles. He's the one who ordered us to attack certain towns on this continent."
"Is that why you sacked some and completely bypassed others?"
He nodded. "Yes. That was all part of the plan – he'd give us locations to attack, pay us in gold and food to attack them, and then let us keep whatever valuables we wanted afterwards."
"And did he tell you why he only wanted specific locations attacked, while others were to be spared?"
The mage shook his head. "No, and we knew better than to ask questions given how good of a deal it was."
Kayla suddenly stepped forwards. "One of those towns was my village," she growled. "Your friends captured several people, including my father, and took them back to the northern isles."
The mage leaned in, squinting to get a better look at her, before finally shrugging. "I don't know anything about that."
"Liar," Pale hissed.
"It's the truth. I wasn't involved with the attack on any Beastkin town."
"Of course, you'd say that," Kayla said through gritted teeth. "You're worried about what will happen to you if you admit to us here and now that you had something to do with it."
"Don't know what else to tell you. I had nothing to do with the attack on you and yours, and I didn't take any Beastkin slaves."
"Enough of this," Pale snapped. "How long do we have to find her father?"
The bandit cracked a wide grin at her. "You're probably already too late. If the girl's father is anything like her, then he's already been deemed to be useless as a slave – too mouthy for his own good, and mouthy slaves don't last very long among my people."
A vein pulsed in Kayla's forehead as she clenched and unclenched her fists. "Answer the question," she demanded. "Assuming he isn't murdered before we can get there, how long do slaves typically last while with your people?"
"Depends on the slave. Men tend to last longer, provided they're young enough and in good health. Of course, he was taken in the first place, so I assume that someone saw some value in him, at least enough to want him for themselves. Now, that only accounts for a berserker warrior having a bad day and killing someone as a result. If he's unlucky, he'll succumb to the elements before long." The mage shrugged. "It wouldn't make any sense for us to spend all that time capturing and enslaving someone only to let them die so soon, unless they just so happened to be a massive pain in the ass."
"So you claim," Pale said dismissively. "What else do you have for us?"
"I've told you enough," the man grunted. "Now hurry up and let me go."
"And why would I do that?" Pale demanded. "So you can go back to robbing and killing the innocent? Is your life really worth the lives of the people you'd kill if we let you go?"
"It is to her." He motioned towards Kayla, who was staring at him and trembling as she bit her lip, deep in thought.
Pale's eyes narrowed. "Kayla."
Kayla jumped slightly at the sound of her name being called. She hesitated for a moment before letting out a sigh. "...You should let him go."
"You know I can't do that, Kayla. If we let him go, he'll just go right back to doing what brought him here. Either we end this here and now and prevent him from taking more innocent lives, or he goes on for however long it takes for someone else to put him down."
"I know!" Kayla spat. "It's just… I don't know what to do… I don't want to be responsible for someone's death like this…"
"I understand that, but this is war," Pale insisted. "Death is an unavoidable part of that."
"What do you mean, war?" Kayla asked, horrified at the prospects of what Pale had just suggested. "You… you really are a soldier, aren't you? That's why you're doing this – it's a chance to do what you were made to do…"
"War is in my nature," Pale insisted. "It is why I was created. You are correct that this is a chance to fulfill my prime directive, but not in the way that you think." She turned her gaze back towards the bandit. "I need to get off this planet and back into the war I left behind before it's too late to save my creators. If killing this man will get me there faster, then I will not hesitate to do that."
"But… you can't know that killing him will help with that," Kayla pointed out. "He's just one man…"
"Every second spent debating his existence is one not spent working towards my ultimate goal. I ask for your input on what to do with him because I value your opinion as my ally, and do not wish to alienate you by leaving you out of major decisions such as that, but that does not mean I will not try to make you see reason when I think you are about to make a terrible decision." Pale sheathed her knife and hefted her shotgun. "You are concerned with the loss of innocent life, yes? Well, letting me kill this man will save an untold number of them. Is his life really worth all of theirs?"
"You can't think of it that way! He's still a person, too!"
"He is," Pale agreed. "But as far as I am concerned, his right to life is now forfeit, as he used it to torture and murder other people."
The bandit suddenly burst out laughing. "Listen to you two! You're honestly debating whether or not to take a life. How quaint, not to mention innocent. Consider me entertained."
Pale bashed him with the stock of her gun once more, knocking a few more of his teeth out in the process. As he coughed on blood and bone shards, she turned back to Kayla.
"See reason in this," she implored. "Letting him live means-"
"I know!" Kayla interrupted. Her wolf ears flattened against her skull, and in a quieter voice, she repeated, "...I know."
Her tail lashed behind her, and finally, she shook her head. "...I was willing to fight for you," she said softly. "I tried to convince you that you weren't just a killing machine – that you had a sjel, and that it was worth something. And maybe I was right. But even if I was… even if you're not just a killing machine… you seem dead-set on trying to be one. And if that's what you want, then who am I to stop you? Do what you want with him, Pale; after all, it's what you were programmed to do."
Kayla turned and marched out of the cave. Pale watched her go, waiting until she was completely gone before acting.
A single gunshot split the night.

Special thanks to my good friend and co-writer, Ickbard for the help with writing this story.

Had a review today, was told that “they’ve worked really hard to create the business and it feels like the benefits they’ve implemented aren’t being appreciated by myself”.
Honestly didn’t know what to say, I’ve used/enjoyed the benefits - they’re benefits?
FYI the benefits are healthcare, happy hour once a week and wfh once a week - pretty basic, nothing mind blowing.
Another issue was that although I wasn’t missing client deadlines, I was missing the companies budget/time deadlines and whilst I understand the importance of this, 8 hours to research, conceptualise and produce a client ready presentation for a brand identity just isn’t enough and I’ve told them this, however they still want me to “manage this time better” - my solution here is to do less of the research/concepts but that goes against everything I am as a Designer, as I know those parts are just as important as the final outcome.
Also, Quite a few projects have ran over allotted timeframes due to client revisions - which our company hands out freely as there’s no limit, I’m talking proper pixel pushing “Janet from accounts wants to see the logo 25% bigger rotated 3 degrees anti clockwise” type shit and I’m getting the blame for it, even though these requests are approved directly by the owner and passed through to me.
I’ve also been told that I need to be more enthusiastic about upcoming projects, and that bit annoyed me as I’m someone who takes pride in their work and here’s someone getting rich off that telling me I’m not enthusiastic enough, really had to bite my tongue.
I feel like it was more them trying to guilt trip me as I’ve not been 100% happy in my role due to changes regarding responsibilities and not being properly compensated - all things I’ve spoke about and raised as an issue and this is their way of putting me on the back foot. I feel like they’re trying to make me feel bad so they don’t have to deal with the bigger issues.
Sorry for the rant, please only reply if you have genuine and kind advice, I’m at a low point and I need to talk to someone who kinda gets what I’m going through.

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Chapter 168 – The moment to live and the moment to die

„Jumping!“ an Ensign announced loudly as the Sun's view-windows very briefly flickered into a dark black only to go back to a full view of the ongoing battle basically instantly, having barely shifted the ship's position at incomprehensible speed. „Shot clear of allied ships.“
Vice-Admiral Kazadi tapped his finger on one of the armrests of the Commander's seat that still felt anything but comfortable for him to sit in as the tight grid of flashing lights reflected in his eyes within the twilight of the bridge.
“Fire,” he then ordered. Not even a blink later, a burst of colorful light broke into his view from the side of his very own ship, lighting up the entirety of the bridge even through the automatically tinting windows that absorbed a lot of the harmful light so the crew wouldn't flashbang themselves with each shot.
The relativity canon fire tore through the enemy ship at an almost literal instant with any travel time barely being conceivable to a mortal mind. In a large unload of energy that left almost the entire stern-side of the zodiatos ship as a molten mass of dispersing slag, the main propulsion was taken out. Simultaneously, the two accompanying cruisers had also taken their shots; with the 'Civil' taking out the engine of one more enemy vessel while the 'of the roses' had instead used its shot to disperse one of the enemy projectiles in order to buy their own hunter ships more freedom of movement. Those huge ones didn't go down easy from one of the hunters' smaller shots, so using one of the large canons to dispatch it took some of the heat off them.
Meanwhile, smaller targets on the enemy vessels, such as their own canons, were gradually taken out by said hunters, whose own fire – while able to be quite destructive if intended no doubt – could be used in a far more precise manner. With more and more of their canons failing, the protective volleys the coreworld terrorists could fire to hide themselves away also became less and less effective.
“Send the fallback-beacon,” Kazadi then ordered, since close quarter attacks became less and less necessary.
It seemed that the zodiatos had a hard time adjusting to the combat style of the human unkindnesses, however that didn't mean they should take any unnecessary risks. Even if a pilot could've been able to avoid all enemy attacks in a perfect world, he knew that his pilots were only human.
Casualties of their own had been comparatively minimal so far, however as if to prove him right about his thoughts, he could see on his surveillance screen how, just in that moment, one of their ships was taken out by an enemy craft.
He grimaced to himself and let out a mild sigh. One more family who would never see one of their own again...
It took a moment before all the ships were reached by the beacon. Due to the nature of their own combat strategies, as well as the particular nature of hyperspace, it was entirely impossible to effectively contact any of their ships directly while they were out in the battle. Therefore, the order to fall back had to be broadcast as a general signal, that each of the pilots could individually pick up as soon as they would keep still for long enough so that it could reach them.
By now, the battle was already won. None of the zodiatos' weapons were able to match the relativity canons in effective range and without the larger ships to back them up, their small hunters wouldn't be able to launch an offensive – shields or not. They could just stay back and fire until surrender now. As the signal was picked up, one of their ships after another disappeared in one last flash of hyperspace as they joined back up with the larger vessels in an enclosing formation.
“Prepare for the retrieval of some of those projectiles,” the Vice-Admiral then ordered as he hoped they would be able to track some of those spent shots their enemies had fired. They would have to figure out what kind of tech that was.
In such a small-scale conflict, it was more than manageable to face it. However, it could offer some difficulties in larger fleets – especially since they didn't know how far this kind of tech could possible be expanded and refined. It was quite possible this was just some form of prototype.
While that order was followed, one of his Lieutenants suddenly spoke up.
“Sir, we have an incoming transmission from the planet. Civilian. Not encrypted, but they seemingly had an access code,” they related quickly.
“Is the earlier interference cleared up?” he immediately asked back, to which the answer was positive. “Put it through then,” he immediately ordered as soon as he heard that.
He rubbed one of his tight braids between his fingers as he waited for contact to be established. Once the line was clear, things remained quiet for a moment.
“What are we best at?” he then asked the silent line, his chest tightening ever so slightly, even if he didn't have to wait long for a reply.
“Topping from the bottom,” a very familiar voice replied from the other end, sounding incredibly strained but most certainly alive.
The code phrase was an old in-joke about something that had been said back during humanity's first contact with the tonamstrosites due to a slightly choppy translation. However, it more than sufficed here to tell Kazadi that the person on the other side of the line was not only genuine, but also not in any immediate distress – at least none that was brought onto her by someone else.
“Good to hear your voice Ma'am,” he greeted the Admiral after taking a brief moment to allow his heart to settle.
“The pleasure is all mine, Celestin,” Admiral Krieger replied in between heavy breaths that sounded like a combination between being ready to collapse and absolutely willing to tear anyone's throat out at a moment's notice. “Excuse me for the unorthodox contact, my own means of communication have all been destroyed. Update me.”
A brief smile played on the Vice-Admiral's lips.
“No problem, Ma'am. Things are under control up here, but multiple allied coluyvoree ships were destroyed and we suffered some casualties of our own which I will take full responsibility for,” he quickly complied. “By now, the enemy crafts have been largely disabled and our fighters are falling back. What's the situation on your end?”
There was a bit of a grunt from the other side of the line that seemed unrelated to the ongoing conversation.
“I'm sure you did everything by the books,” Krieger then replied a moment later. “Down here the situation is precarious but momentarily under control. We have an unconfirmed number of casualties after an attack with an unknown weapon. All squads are either KIA or unresponsive. We took down six enemy combatants but can't confirm if there's more. I'm going to need clean up, rescue teams, as well as pickup for me and two large offworlders asap.”
Celestin nodded.
“We're in a stable position, so we'll jump teams down right away. Hold out just a minute more,” he assured her while already signing in the necessary order to the troops they had on standby. “How bad are your injuries?”
There was another groan of pain from Krieger's side.
“Crushed cranberries,” she replied after a long moment that sounded like she needed to catch her breath.
“Copy that,” Kazadi replied with a grimace. “Sending muti-team with the evac.”
“Copy that,” Krieger confirmed. “Krieger out.”
With that, the call was hung up. On his screen, Celestin could see how the preparations for dispatch of the requested teams was already well underway. Jumping towards a planet at FTL was generally discouraged by the Galactic Community. However, this was an emergency. They couldn't wait for normal re-entry.
After watching the reported progress for just a moment, his eyes returned to the ongoing battle. He watched the enemy ships as they hovered dead in space, unable to maneuver.
They seemed to have recalled their own fighters back in order to form some sort of protective wall around the 'mother ships' with their own small shields. Obviously it wouldn't be very effective, so it seemed like needless cruelty to make their own soldiers get in the way of the incoming fire. Something within Kazadi told the Vice-Admiral they weren't going to stand down.
“Sir, we're getting some strange hyperspace-readings,” his Lieutenant suddenly announced, making him look up.
“Weapon-grade?” he immediately asked, knowing they had less than a moment to react if it was. However, he also figured there would've been more urgency to their voice had it been so.
“No, Sir. Travel-grade,” the Lieutenant quickly replied. “However the readings are unusual. It seems like they are creating a stretch solely around themselves.”
Kazadi's lips shifted a bit as he took that in and he briefly ran a hand over his mouth in thought. “Prepare to collapse,” he ordered. “Maybe they will attempt some sort of running start. We can't let them get away.”
Right then, the light of what was happening had not yet caught up to the spacial distortion that their sensors were detecting, meaning the ships still looked perfectly normal – if damaged – when he looked at them. However, they were planning something. And that made them appear all the more ominous.
His mind quickly went through their own protocols. The U.H.S.D.F. employed hyperspace in nearly all its possible facets in their tactics. If it was even close to sensible, they would have something that was akin to the maneuver their foes were attempting to execute right now.
A bubble of hyperspace solely around their ships...a dodge? Hardly, there was nothing to dodge like that. An attempt to hide away? No, they knew human ships could collapse hyperspace from the outside easily.
Before him, the windows of the ship once again automatically dimmed, protecting the crew's eyes as the colorful light of the created hyperspace-bubble finally reached them.
“Hyperspace collapsed!” the Lieutenant then suddenly announced, causing Kazadi to blink in surprise as his eyes shot up to his screen. He hadn't given any order to collapse it yet. But indeed, it was gone. For a moment, he thought that the stress had caused his officer to use the wrong term in haste, however no, they had been completely right. It had not been dispersed in a controlled manner. It had collapsed.
In a mild 'thud', the Vice-Admiral's fist descended on the armrest, hand firmly clenched into a fist.
“Those cowardly ba-” he began to growl but then bit his tongue and released a low, almost grunting exhale while his fist quivered from momentarily clenching tighter. “Prepare to search for survivors,” he instead said in a much more controlled manner a moment later. “Preserve lives.”
“Yessir,” multiple of his officers echoed back as he looked out of the window, where he could still see the ghostly afterimage of the hyperspace bubble linger for a bit longer. It was always a strange feeling, seeing someone in the distance who was already dead...
–
With her view darkened and her goggles momentarily pulled off her eyes, Shida stared at the glowing bubble of impossible colors. Her sensors had already told her what was about to happen at any moment now, however her eyes still heavily constricted as they finally witnessed what unfolded themselves.
In what could be described as nothing else than a 'snap' , the light of the hyperspace-stretch instantly condensed down into its original size as the universe all at once remembered that the laws of physics were a thing that existed and brutally forced space to conform to them once again – no matter what may have been in between it and its original form.
Anything within the strange, round stretch was mercilessly ripped along with the convulsion, forcing all the injected warships and fighters into the single, small point that the stretch had been generated from. Though not even a faction of a second later, it all exploded outwards again as the megatons of mass realized that they could not all exist in the same place at once, since the energy of the event was not quite potent enough to press it all into a neutron star or singularity.
No longer recognizable blotches of undefined, white-hot matter were instantly scattered in all directions like some sort of micro-supernova that accentuated the sometimes still burning nano-stars that the earlier battle had created from the opposing fighters.
It was almost pretty...but still, Shida couldn't help but let her ears hang as she wondered how many of the enemy combatants had known about the decision to end things this way. Had any of them even been asked?
Even if it was the far more disturbing answer in a way, Shida almost hoped that this had actually been one mutual suicide-pact instead of the decision of one single commander to choose death over dishonor. Especially while sitting in a ship that was technically under the command of someone else herself, that was certainly the less immediately petrifying option – even if it would probably spell far worse things in the long run.
As she said there, the 'shockwave' of the collapsing hyperspace suddenly hit her, spreading out through space even without any medium to carry it and rocking her ship gently while also penetrating all throughout her body. Of course the earlier relativity fire had already caused similar ripples and she was therefore quite used to the feeling, however these ones sure felt a bit more severe than those of the U.H.S.D.F.'s own canons. It was like she felt her own body distort while also remaining perfectly in palace – almost like she was a stiff container full of water that someone had given a heavy smack from the side, riling up the liquid without it actually having any place to plash to.
According to everything they knew, this phenomenon felt incredibly odd but was entirely harmless to living beings – which was instinctively very hard to believe when one felt it on their own body.
However, her dwelling thoughts were, perhaps luckily, interrupted as she – or more precisely one of her scanners - picked up on a peculiar signature that one of the scattered debris pieces was sending out.
Well, it was 'peculiar' to her that there was a signal at all at first, however then she quickly realized what it actually was. This particular signal was hammered into any pilot's head six ways to Sunday, and so she reacted relatively quickly when she glanced at the grid and realized that she was the closest ship to it. Firing up her engines, she turned her ship on the spot in a slight drift before activating her generator and making a jump right behind the flying object.
Once there, she allowed her computer to take aim for a second before firing out a harpoon that quickly struck the flying debris and latched her ship onto it through a long cable, allowing her to pull the thing along with her after slowly using her backwards thrusters to disperse its speed little by little. Pressing the indicator of her communication, she then spoke up.
“Scratches to Sun,” she announced. “I just recovered a black box. Permission to return for inspection?”
The black boxes of modern ships truly were among the most ridiculous pieces of tech out there, in Shida's humble opinion. Built to withstand almost everything that would likely take a ship out through a combination of brilliant engineering and extremely flexible material that only worked in its indented manner on very small scales. Well, very small compared to the ships they were built into. The things were about half the size of Shida in the end. For many years, armies of scientists had attempted their very best to make this same sort of defense useful in ways that could maybe be used to protect actual people from catastrophic events – but to no avail so far. For now, the only thing those little marvels could allow to survive even something as ludicrous as hyperspace collapsing was information.
“Permission granted, Lieutenant-Commander,” the answer came almost immediately. “Return to hangar three.”
“Copy,” Shida replied. “Scratches out.”
With that, she moved her ship around and prepared for her jump back to the Sun. Hopefully this thing would give them some answers on what exactly this whole thing was meant to accomplish...
–
Far away in another part of the galaxy, a pair of mildly glowing red eyes was laser-focused on a large screen that was just one of many that had merged all over Nedstaniot-Station to broadcast the breaking news to anyone willing to lift their eyes at a slight angle to look at them.
An attack on a coreworld. And not just any coreworld. Gewelitten itself. Something like this hadn't happened in...well, Curi didn't even know how long.
Details seemed to still be incredibly fuzzy as the battle so close to the coluyvoree homeworld had either just happened or was still happening at the moment of the broadcast, however what few details were known were already repeated on end in an endless scroll of text that was meant to catch as many people up to speed as was at all possible through the medium of television. Obviously the same emerging details could already be looked up on the net as well to find them in a more digestible format than the endlessly moving text next to the not exactly top quality footage of the occurring conflict.
However, despite the speed with which it went by, Curi had no problem following the scroll as they stared at the screen intensely.
“Attack was unannounced. Multiple Gewelitten fleet ships destroyed. Official sources confirm: Humanity NOT the aggressor. Attacking ships presumed to be of zodiatos origin. Unknown weapon technology deployed during the attack. U.H.S.D.F. ships engaged in combat after aggression. Myiat delegation ship confirmed unharmed. Attack on government facility on planet simultaneous to spacial attack. Councilman-Candidate Aldwin confirmed unharmed. Status of U.H.S.D.F. General Krieger unknown. Status of Gewelitten Governor H. Cierrophai unknown. Status of Acting-Councilman Afuéhner unknown. Allied coreworld defense fleets activated and inbound. General alert level raised to 8. Hyperspace-travel shut down around the system.”
“Mother, oh no...” Mueen said with absolute shock in his eyes, both of his hands clasped over this mouth as his wide pupils quivered in fear from what they witnessed.
Curi could understand his worry. Though Moar had supposedly been with James, so she would probably be fine. The cyborg was certainly more than just a little relieved that James was already confirmed to be safe. Though the idea that Admiral Krieger's situation was unknown was more than just a little disconcerting.
Though despite the supposed lack of their commanding officer, it seemed like the humans had decisively won out in the battle outside of the coreworld's atmosphere; unknown technology or not.
Given the sub-par footage that some drone was likely recording from quite far away from the actual conflict, it was very hard to tell just what sort of weapon the unknown but presumed to be zodiatos attackers had unleashed there. It looked like some sort of emanating energy that destroyed what it came into contact with but also interacted with it as if it had a physical presence.
Curi had never seen anything remotely like it before – not even in their wildest theories – and their mind immediately wanted to go wild with speculations and ideas about how such a thing might work now that they knew for a fact that it was possible from seeing it with their own eyes.
However, the cyborg pulled themselves together and successfully forced the briefly almost overwhelming desire to focus on nothing else down as they shifted their gaze slightly away from the screen to look over at their other currently nearby company.
Then again, as much as they knew they couldn't let their guard down around him, Reprig's eyes were just as immovably attached to the large screen as Mueen's were as he witnessed the unfolding battle with quivering horror.
His trunk was wiggling wildly in his face and one of his hands nervously scratched over the plate of the table they were all sitting and standing at and on, right next to a piece of paper with a hastily drawn sketch of a spring-like mechanical leg that was inspired by what humans called 'running blades'. The Warrant Officer's weapon also laid on the table, pushed a but further away from his hand so he wouldn't be able to easily reach it.
Though despite his focus, Curi couldn't quite help but speak up after a moment of watching him. “A coreworld attacking another coreworld,” they said to the man, who they knew either had to know far more than they did about this – or would be far more invested in it unfolding. “This is unprecedented.”
Reprig seemed to notice that they were talking to him, however he still remained silent and stared a good few moments longer before finally pulling his gaze away from the screen.
As his eyes met theirs, he looked a bit sick. It almost reminded the cyborg of one of the first interactions they had with the man, back when they nudged him slightly to hand his spy-device back to him after he tried to hide it in James' cabin. Though this time, the cyborg was quite sure that they were not the reason why the man seemed like most of his blood was currently rushing into his stomach.
Could he actually be shocked about what was happening? Was this not part of the plan?
“Unprecedented doesn't even come close to describing it...” he mumbled and couldn't hold the cyborg's gaze for long, looking down to the table's plate instead. “And these aren't just any coreworlds. Osontjar and Gewelitten have been allied for an unimaginably long time. The thought that they would even think of attacking each other...what sort of madness could've caused something like this?”
Curi was the first to admit to themselves that they were far from the best at reading people. If someone with even a modicum of skill in acting wanted to make them believe something untrue about the person they were talking to, they would never deny that there was a good chance of that person succeeding.
Still, Reprig's reaction felt...genuine to them. As if he had actually never expected something like this to happen. Not in a million years.
Maybe it was just skillful acting. And Curi knew that they should have been suspicious like that. However, despite everything he had done, they couldn't quite bring themselves to suspect that he was lying at that moment.
“I know it is unlikely you will give me an honest answer, but-” Curi began to say, however Reprig was more than able to anticipate what they were going to ask and replied long before they were finished.
“No. No. Never,” the sipusserleng said, shaking his head heavily and standing his trunk up while making a denying gesture with his hand that was so brash that he actually knocked his crutch off the small outcrop in the table it had been laid down on. “This must be some absolutely deranged people, no two ways about it. To attack a coreword...”
Curi noticed Reprig's gaze briefly twitching down, his eyes jumping onto the personal assistant strapped to his lower arm as if he suddenly got the urge to use it for something.
Curi suspected he likely wanted to call someone; question them to make extra sure that they had, in fact, nothing to do with this. Though the sipusserleng suppressed the urge and pulled his eyes away, bringing them back up to the screen.
Just at that moment, the implosion of collapsing hyperspace suddenly lit up the footage moments before the glowing remnants of what once had been the zodiatos ships were scattered across the star-system.
Mueen mumbled something in his home's language as his eyes remained affixed to the screen. Curi couldn't even begin to guess what he was saying. However, his voice sounded pleading.
“Suicide instead of surrender?” Reprig meanwhile mouthed breathlessly as his nervous tick of excessively licking his trunk began to show.
Although he had often been otherwise employed in recent times, Curi could see it in the man's eyes that he was still, in a way, military at heart. He knew the general values and doctrines that were conveyed to the soldiers of the Communal Military, both inside and out. And the idea of someone choosing death like this...it seemed to rock him to his very core.
Slowly, he turned his gaze over to Curi. His eyes were almost pleading with the cyborg, even if they seemed to already know that his next question would be asked in vain.
“Could it maybe have been the humans and their-” he began, but this time, it was Curi's term to cut him off after anticipating what was coming.
“While humans very much employ the collapsing of hyperspace as a tactic in war, the process is not invisible – or even subtle. Had the human ships caused that collapse, it would've been noticeable,” they explained succinctly. “It could've still been a mere unexpected failure of the hyperspace generation, of course. However, with the rarity of such events, the timing seems...unlikely.”
“They weren't even trying to generate a real stretch...” Reprig concurred dejectedly and left his head hanging, his trunk also sinking down limply. “I can't even imagine- Well...I hope they will at least find peace now, away from the madness.”
Curi paused for a long moment, staring at the Warrant Officer some more. Admittedly, the cyborg was a bit confounded at something. They knew for a fact the man had put his own life on the line for his orders, with a very real chance that they would lead to his death, more than just once. And yet the idea of being ordered to die seemed to disturb him. They couldn't quite figure out the difference that led to the results in reaction being so incredibly different, however it was still very clear that there was one.
And it seemed to hit the man hard.
Self-admittedly, Curi didn't exactly pity the man. They didn't quite have the capacity to. They knew about so many horrible things he had done that simply seeing him distressed was far from enough to stir such deep empathy for him within them.
Yet still, they weren't left entirely cold by it either – and if it was only because he seemed to be affected by these events in the ways a, for a lack of a better term, 'normal person' would be. He was shocked at the sudden, seemingly senseless violence, and concerned about the people involved.
Granted, it was likely only because they were people he considered worth being concerned about, yet still, the reaction was so...'normal', in a way they didn't quite expect from someone with such a capability for unceremonious acts of cruelty and violence. Even this person who had tried to kill them, or at least had been entirely comfortable with them getting killed, was capable of such a reaction.
And Curi...wasn't sure if that made things better or worse, if they were being honest.
It felt better because there was the capability for empathy there, however...it felt worse because they felt how they had been and likely still were willingly denied said empathy.
He could have cared...he just didn't want to.
Curi shook their body heavily, causing mild sounds from the engines running their legs' movements from the sudden force as they tried to shoo away emotions that they really didn't want to be feeling at that exact moment.
The thing that mostly kept them from following up on some of their uncomfortably aggressive thoughts at that moment was the fact that Mueen was still with them, the worry for his mother written across his features like a deep engraving in a metal plaque. He did not need anything like that around him right now, that much was clear.
Slowly, they moved over to him and reached up one of their long legs to run it along his arm while he still covered parts of his large face with both hands.
“She will be alright,” Curi then assured the dark-furred rafulite, switching from their usual voice box to their more “melodic” one to put on a gentle, calming tone. “She is stronger than she seems.”
Inhaling deeply as his nostrils flared, Mueen closed his dark eyes and swallowed heavily, taking his gaze off the large screen for the first time in many minutes while slowly hanging his head down.
“Yeah,” he said, seeming to force hopefulness into his tone. “Yes, she'll be fine. She made it his far. This won't get to her.”
Curi nodded with their entire body and continued to run the tip of their leg along his arm.
“She will be,” they repeated, both to the man and themselves as their own eyes moved upwards, their gaze falling back on the battlefield riddled with burning remnants of matter. “I'm sure of it.”
–
Never in his life had James felt so drunk and so sober at the same time. His mind was entirely clear, running a light-year a minute as it desperately tried to simultaneously process all the admittedly little information that he had in his current situation AND to not absolutely freak out while doing so somehow – a task he was ludicrously failing at. And it did NOT help that his body could barely keep itself on his own two feet.
He had avoided completely fainting by a hair earlier after reminding himself that, instead of being terrified for Shida's life, it would be much more fair towards her to simply focus on trusting in her skills to carry her through. However, that was barely a little patch on an enormous crack in his facade as he couldn't help but go over and over and over the fact of how much worse the situation that she needed to jump into here had been for her simply because it was his damn birthday and they wanted to indulge over it. He should've stopped that, but noooo, he just had to go and let himself be swayed so damn easily, as if he was still that little boy following Koko around whenever she visited the compound to try and get some attention.
Of course, a quiet voice in the back of his head tried to politely remind him that Shida had, in fact, not only taken part in the festivities as well but also encouraged him to do so, however it was easily overpowered by the screaming rest of his mind.
He briefly glanced over at the only somewhat conscious Commander. When she said that they should match each other's drinks, that should've been the moment he stopped. She was like half his weight, what the hell was he thinking?
His mechanical hand shot up, heavily gripping a fist full of hair as he tried to force himself to focus. What's done is done. There's no changing it. He should focus on anything else right now.
Though as he painfully pulled on his hair like that, his eyes suddenly went wide as he noticed something. Or, more precisely, didn't notice something.
When had the alarm stopped? Just now? Or had it been out and he just hadn't noticed?
Letting go of his hair, he lifted his face and looked around. If the alarm was over, then that meant...
The uncoordinated movement of soldiers reaching for their phones and radios with different speeds went through the room, and after brief confirmation, the uniformed forces began to move, having seemingly gotten new orders other than guarding the safe-rooms. Apparently, the threat was over.
James quickly fumbled for his own phone, his barely coordinated hands struggling extremely with the simple task of trying to call one of his contacts – much to the frustration of his already cleared mind. His finger trembled as he swiped it across the screen, trying to get it to the right damn place to make a simple god-damn call.
However, he froze in the motion at a quiet sound that was immediately followed by a sudden stir behind him as multiple people seemed to move quickly. And after just a second, James was among them as well.
Nearly tripping over his feet, he damn near threw himself onto the sickbed that didn't stand too far away from him, his phone momentarily forgotten and eyes wide open as they stared over at an endlessly familiar dark face, that however had life in it for the first time in what felt like an eternity at that moment.
Slowly and twitchy, Nia's eyes fluttered open as she let out quiet groans while mildly stirring in place while her doctors and nurses hurried around her and quickly began to take her vitals.
After flinching heavily as a flashlight was quite suddenly shone into her eyes to test her photopupillary reflex, she began to move even more. Meanwhile, James and Tuya were basically pressed shoulder to shoulder close to the foot of her bed, the only thing keeping them from dashing right up to her face being just enough awareness to not get in the doctor's way.
Still, although her movements were very slow, stiff, and groggy, Nia eventually lifted up her head, looking around with still somewhat hazy and half-closed eyes. But that didn't stop her from smiling when her gaze fell onto the two who so nervously stood at her bedside there.
“Hey,” she said in a quiet, croaky, but still very much cheerful voice as her unkempt hair fell down both sides of her face.
Though James didn't see much more than that, because just about at that moment, his vision was entirely taking away by welling-up waters sweeping him along.

Prefacing this by saying I have a lot of weird allergies and OAS. Never had anaphylaxis but I seem to react to all sorts of things that hardly anyone is allergic to, like aloe vera. I kind of wonder how many of my allergies are "true" allergies or if I might have some kind of mast cell issue.
Anyway. A year or two ago I started taking a B complex gummy supplement and after a few weeks, I broke out in an itchy eczema-like rash on the back of my hand. It got better when I stopped the supplement. I figured it was an additive that I was reacting to. I bought regular B12 tablets and the rash returned, then cleared up again after I stopped. Both were different forms of B12.
I experienced similar reactions later to foods containing added B12. I started drinking Red Bull and didn't realize it had B12 in it. After a few days, I started to break out in the same rash, and I noticed my mouth and throat burned when I swallowed the drink. Then earlier this week I noticed my lower lip was itchy/irritated and I had some inflamed tastebuds on the side of my tongue. I've recently been eating a lot of Rice Chex. Checked the ingredients, and it's fortified with B12. I think it's safe to conclude at this point that my body doesn't like elemental B12.
What really concerns me is I've started noticing mild oral reactions to foods that are high in B12, including seaweed, tuna, and salmon. Salmon has always bothered me but tuna and seaweed didn't until recently. Guess it could also be histamine intolerance.
Has anyone heard of anything like this? A quick Google search shows B12 allergies as being exceedingly rare. No idea if I'm allergic to cobalt as I don't come into contact with it in my daily life.
So... yeah, this is really weird. Unfortunately I don't have the time or money to see an allergist right now due to a dozen other more pressing medical things but I plan to.