Trigger warning: pregnancy loss support question/stillbirth. I’m terribly sorry for the losses of every one in this group, I’m hoping for some guidance on how to help my friend.
My friend suddenly and unexpectedly lost her baby a few days ago, 3 weeks before their due date. We live in different states, so I’m trying to figure out how to best support her from afar.
I sent a DoorDash gift card and a text saying how sorry I am and that I’m here for whatever she needs, even if it’s space. Is there anything else I can do? I read that flowers, self help books, even cards can be overwhelming and upsetting so I don’t want to overload her with grief gifts…
Would a gift card for a massage be a good idea for when she’s ready? Is it too much to send a text once a week just sending her love? Any insight would be greatly appreciated.

Let's start by saying that this is my first (official) relationship ever.
A bit of background:
I've always had trouble socially relating to people; I'm so insecure and afraid of rejection, and I also had strict parents. Throughout the years, I've gained a bit of freedom for myself but it's not enough (I still live my parents).
I've always wanted to get close to people and have friends (I currently have just one) and a relationship, but I'm also afraid that I'm not interesting enough, that I won't know what to talk about, etc. So my strategy has always been to act cold towards people and wait for them to approach me first. If they approach me, it must mean that they have at least some interest in me...
In the past, I often found myself daydreaming about how a loving relationship would look like: he would love me a lot, accept me for who I am, not judge me for my physical little imperfections, have great emotional and physical chemistry, and I would love him back just the same. I know it might sound too perfect, but that's what I know I've always craved.
I have had a very few relationships/situationships where the men just never asked me to be their girlfriend and make things official. I think those "relationships" failed in part because I was so cold towards them even if inside I wanted to kiss or hug them first. I always hoped they asked me to be their girlfriend. Also, I always stayed till the end, until THEY didn't want anything to do with me anymore.
So with my current boyfriend, all things seem different. I met him at a mall. HE approached me first. At first I wasn't really attracted to him physically but he started telling me about his life and his varied life experiences. He seemed interesting. We exchanged numbers. Then we started going out. He's very different from me. He has a different clothing style than mine, he likes urban music, he has tattoos and has 1 piercing.
My very first impression of him was that he looked like the bad-boy type, so I didn't think he was interested in anything serious. But right on the second date, he mentioned he was looking for someone who really cared for him. He said something like: "it's nice to have someone that cares for you, even for the little things and even asks if you ate already, if you slept well, etc." Before that moment, I didn't have high expectations and was probably ready to accept whatever 🤦🏻‍♀️.
As time went by, I started liking more things on him, finding a few things in common. Until he asked me to be his girlfriend after one month of hanging out. I had waited for that moment for so long, and it finally came, but I didn't know how to feel. I felt kind of sad. Even though I knew he and me were looking for a serious relationship, I felt fearful, but I kept going.
We've shared beautiful moments so far. I feel at home, peaceful, respected, and loved when I'm with him. But sometimes I catch myself judging him for small imperfections. I'm physically attracted to him and we have good chemistry there, but I can't help noticing what he does "wrong." When we text, he sometimes writes with bad grammar and I can't help but judge him inside. Sometimes he sends me videos of him dancing happily for me, and I can't help but think "how isn't he afraid of being silly in front of me or even others?" I believe me judging him might stem from the same type of judgment I received when growing up. I just hate it and don't want to be like this. I know no one is perfect and yet my mind is obsessed with perfection.
My BF has had a difficult life and experiences, and yet he smiles all the time, has fun, is free, and has lots of love to give. He even says he loves me, but I don't feel sure to say it back to him. My mind tells me that I'm probably just using him and getting his love while I'm not able to love him back. I feel like a bad person for that. I do care for him. I've cried with him listening to how he feels when sad of bc of past hurtful events. When I look at him, I see someone sincere. I love to have him close, hug him, kiss him, feel his odor, listen to his voice, listen to him singing. Yet I have these other horrible thoughts that I can't let go.
I feel like I wasn't really ready for a relationship as I believed, and that there's a lot of work I need to do on myself, but I don't want to lose him either. I can't decide if I really like him, if I'm obsessed, if I'm dependant or what.
Need some advice on what to do and hear others perspective on this.
Sorry for the long post. I tried to give enough details 😅. Thanks in advance.

Looking for members to join Midnight Grove! - dm to get the discord link -

!! BEDROCK ONLY !!

REALM CODE: nAPvS-T9d2g
Looking for members to join Midnight Grove!
(18-19+) Hey all, I own a friendly survival realm. It has shops i’m working on right now and you can make ur own as well. In ur own town or village. This realm is still a work in progress and please be patient and kind to others while we make it look amazing!
•• RULES! ••

1. No Griefing or hacking
2. Be kind to other players
3. No stealing from players
4. No Trolling aloud whatsoever
5. Don't destroy others builds
6. NO killing animals (unless it’s sheep, pigs cows etc and it’s has multiple of two.)
7. no killing other players please.
8. AND NO AFK!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

If i see you killed a CAT, DOG, CHICKEN, SHEEP (if it’s a pet and it’s named // says no killing)
or any other pet animal. You only get one warning and if you do it again ur banned.

• keep inventory off (may turn on later)
• conditions on
• texture pack: Quadral
• last, it as addons from the marketplace

PLEASE JOIN THE DISC SERVER SO YOU GET UPDATES WHEN IM GONNA ADD NEW ADDONS OR A TEXTURE PACK! ^{-- DM ME AND I'LL SEND YOU A LINK TO IT. --}

Hello!

At the beginning of the year, we kicked off a series of events to celebrate... well a number of things! The subreddit growth is insane, so we hit 10 million subscribers while we were just finishing up celebrating 9 million...

But we started that celebration with a new Essay and Video contest! I'm happy to announce that after a long series of deliberations, we're ready to announce your winners! First and foremost, I want to congratulate everyone on producing such wonderful submissions. I and the other judges absolutely enjoyed reading/watching them, and I hope this encourages you to create more. I'm always here for what limited guidance I can give.
Reminder: Prizes are funded through Reddit's Community Funds program! The top 3 positions will receive gift cards to Crunchyroll's (formerly RightStuf) store! Please, I would love to see what you're going to purchase with them.

Writing Contest

1st Place: In This Corner of the World: Agency, The Past, and The Paths We Did Not Choose by VelaryonAu

VelaryonAu hits it out of the park with this essay. It stays true to the theme, starting strong and continuing that quality until the end. Much like Suzu's life, it expertly moves from point to point, example to example, all the while using succinct and pleasant prose. We all enjoyed every second of reading this piece and we think you will too. VelaryonAu wins a $200 gift card.

2nd Place: Gunslinger Girl and Confronting the Posthuman by paukshop

Paukshop delivers an essay that exemplifies the reason why we keep the themes for these contests vague, with it being a clever examination of a beloved classic under a unique lens. This is probably one of the best structured essays we received, clearly laying out step by step how each relationship in the show may evoke different interpretations of the posthuman. Its broad coverage and almost academic nature earn it 2nd place, winning a $100 gift card.

3rd Place: Puella Magi Madoka Magica: Eternal by baquea

As expected from a fan of Madoka Magica, and much like the show itself, this essay is dense with meaning. Baquea's prose ebbs and flows—sentences sometimes stretching out into labyrinthian snakes or curving back around into pointed statements. Regardless of what you think about the show or the writing style, this essay makes itself heard. Its clear passion and depth of knowledge towards the subject earns it a $50 gift card.

Videos

1st Place: Heavenly Delusion: Body Horror, Gender, & Transformation by thedman1954

This video is not only laser focused, it utilizes the video format pretty near to its fullest potential. The subject matter is exciting and engrossing, and it serves to be a vessel for the feel of the show itself. Editing is a strong point, using slick transitions and title cards to further illustrate key points. A nearly flawless entry earns it first place and a $100 gift card.

2nd Place: [Blue Reflection Ray]( I Want to Change!) by thegajumaru

Thegajumaru's "[Blue Reflection Ray] I Want to Change!" starts off in a peculiar way, but I think one of the best things about the video format is that you can experiment and be eclectic and maybe... go off on a completely non-anime tangent about Star Wars before jumping into your real topic of Blue Reflection Ray. The most notable thing about this video is just how watchable it is. It flows from point to point with ease—both the editing and script leading the viewer along, almost unbeknownst to them just how entertained they are along the way. This addicting quality earns thegajumaru a $100 gift card.

3rd Place: Grief in To your Eternity by paukshop

Pauk digs into a core concept of To Your Eternity in this video, following the throughline of our main character almost literally carries his grief for his friends and family with him. My personal notes on the video mention quote, "it's quite to the point and the point is strong," and in a sea of videos that are stretched out as long as they can for monetary's sake—it's a breath of fresh air. One of the hardest things to do in a contest like that is coming up with a concept that fits/subverts the theme, but pauk combining literal as well as metaphorical transformations, as well as adding a small personal touch, really elevates this video. He gets a nice $50 gift card for his efforts (in addition to his essay win!).
That's that! Congratulations to our winners, but also to everyone who managed to sneak in a submission. Please view the round-up of EVERYTHING here. I love seeing well thought out posts to the sub, whether that be in essay or video format. If you have any ideas on how to encourage this content, let me or the rest of the mod team know. Oh and also, if you submitted an entry and would like some brief notes on what we thought, message the moderators or PM me!
Winners, expect to receive a PM asking to confirm some information, and then accept your prize!
Thanks all!

Men 50 years ago used to have a say in what their wife does and wears. He used to be the sole bread winner and she used to take care of the home. This worked for centuries and generations but all of a sudden there are a bunch of cuck fetish men who have no say in their marriage.
They let their wife be friends with men, wear a g string on a beach and even when they have daughters they buy them revealing clothing when they are in high school. They are terrified to speak up about whats right and wrong
Many women are not attracted to submissive cuckish men, they want a leader. Did men just drop testosterone the past 2 decades? A man is supposed to be a leader in the home not a weak feminist person.

Good Evening Everyone. 👻
My name is Courtney. I am 27 years old and I happen to live in Florida.
My favorite color is pink. I love listening to all kinds of music. Though my main preference is rock and metal. My favorite band is Ghost. If you end up with me you will have to deal with my addiction. (The band, not drugs or alcohol.)
I love going to theme parks, I love traveling, I love trying new things, I love to watch movies, and listen to music. I love Disney, Marvel, Harry Potter, and much more.
I am a plus size woman, I would say that I am on the smaller end of that spectrum. I know that I may not be everyone’s cup of tea, so please just don’t be disrespectful is all. I have been working on improving both my physical and mental health. It’s always a constant battle.
I would prefer a long term and genuine relationship. My age preference in men is 30+. I am looking for my best friend, my partner in crime, my Mickey to my Minnie. I am looking for someone that is genuine and loyal. Someone that isn’t afraid to be goofy and silly.
I eventually would like to settle down. I am only looking for something monogamous. I eventually would like to have children one day as well. I’m not necessarily looking for someone that is local. I am okay with some distance, at least in the beginning anyway.
If you would be interested in getting to know me, don’t be afraid to reach out. I look forward to hearing from you.
https://imgur.com/a/lhLkbIu
https://imgur.com/a/CeBV2JW
https://imgur.com/a/DL2zl0y
https://imgur.com/a/PYTEpTI
https://imgur.com/a/BfyqCLe
https://imgur.com/a/VnScFOi
https://imgur.com/a/oMa7f6B
https://imgur.com/a/UIbcSea
https://imgur.com/a/uPcsF2V

Hi all, bit of a silly question from me since I'm new to this topic.
Im eyeballing a property that will be going up for auction, it's in a bit of a state but I think I could make it habitable, intention isn't for profit/renting but purely to renovate it so that I can have some family stay there.
The only issue is I've never taken part in a property auction so wanted to know some tips I should know before I even think about this idea. Do I need to have property auction specific conveyancers? Do I pay them upfront the full amount quoted? How would I have them lined up before I go out for bidding? Would I just ring up and say something along the lines of "I'm putting your name down as my solicitor, I'm going to be at a property auction"?
I'm quite new to this, I get they might be silly questions, but if I don't ask I'll never know.
For info I am in England

I smile and laugh, play, and joke around, but I also cry a lot, especially at night. I feel like a balloon that's been overinflated, ready to burst. I see no hope for the future, no motivation, no confidence, and no self-love. When I try to envision my future, I see myself stuck in the same place.
This started when I was 12, after 6th grade, and worsened at 14. Since I was 11, I've been babysitting my little brothers a lot. I love them and understand why I had to do it—my parents were struggling and working to keep a roof over our heads. It's not their fault, and I don't blame them. But for the past seven years, babysitting has been my daily routine. When my parents were home, they were either resting, spending time with my younger siblings, or doing family activities. Emotionally and mentally, I felt they weren't there for me. I never felt comfortable talking to them about how I felt. And I thought they had bigger worries than me, so I kept everything to myself but there was like three times were I’ve opened up to them . For temporary happiness, I turned to video games, the internet, and my dog. These distractions kept me happy for a while, but over time, they stopped working. I had no friends and stayed home all day. After sixth grade, I did online school for two years, which meant I spent my days playing video games, eating, and staring at screens. Without social interaction, I forgot how to socialize and developed social anxiety, insecurities, self-hatred, and no confidence.
I was isolated for two years, which severely affected me. When I returned to school in 9th grade, I couldn't make friends. I was always quiet, couldn't ask for help in class, and struggled to hold conversations. When someone talked to me, I got dizzy, experienced blurred vision, tunnel vision, and shaking. I kept my head down because I was so insecure about my face and body. Everything I'm typing is how I still feel.
When I was 15, we moved. For two or three months, I didn't go to school, staying in my room all day, watching my younger brothers, sleeping, eating, and browsing the internet. I was socially isolated again. When I finally started school, I met a girl who talked to me first. We became friends, and I felt a bit happier, though still insecure and sad. Eventually, I made three more friends, and we ate lunch together. However, as soon as I got home from school, my parents left for work, and I watched my siblings until late at night. This pattern continued, though they didn't leave as often as they used to. I had some alone time when two of my younger siblings started school, but I still had responsibilities, like picking them up from the bus stop and again watching them until like 10 or 11.
After more moving and struggling, we settled into a nice house, which I'm grateful for. But despite the change in living conditions, I still feel the same—full of self-hate, lacking confidence, feeling hopeless and unmotivated. I'm 17 now, not in school, have no friends, and feel worse than ever. I want to tell my parents, but I fear they won't understand, and nothing will change. No matter how many times my mom tells me to love myself or sends me motivational videos, I feel numb. Deep down, I can't imagine ever loving myself, feeling motivated, or escaping this hopelessness. I believe nothing will ever change. Am I wrong? Are my feelings even valid? Every single day, I deal with crying, fighting, and my name being called constantly. I can't do this anymore—it's overwhelming and exhausting. I'm bed rotting all the time, unable to take care of myself properly. I'm neglecting myself. Basic tasks like brushing my teeth, showering, and cleaning feel useless to me. Why take care of myself when I feel so low?
Don't get me wrong; I have days where I feel better and think I should take care of myself and dog, but those feelings only last a few days at most. Then I go right back to neglecting myself. I still get up to take care of my brothers, make them food, and clean up after them because I have to—otherwise, my mom would be upset, and I just don't want to hear it.
On especially hard days when I'm feeling more down than usual, I reach a point where I just don't care anymore. I won't clean up, though I still make food for my brothers because I would never let them starve. Other than that, I can't find the motivation to do anything else. Is this just me being lazy? Or is it something else? I lack the motivation to just do it. Are my feelings valid? I don't feel like they are. I don't know anymore—I just can't.
I feel so awkward around my parents and barely talk to them, especially about my feelings. It’s just never been that way. Three times, I tried to open up to them, but nothing changed. Instead, I felt like they were invalidating my feelings with comments like, "What do you have to be stressed about?", "When I was your age, I didn’t have anybody," "Growing up was hard; you're lucky," and "Depression isn’t real."
I'm grateful for everything my parents do for me and my siblings, but these comparisons to their past make me feel even worse. It makes me question whether my feelings are valid. Once, I told them I thought I had an eating disorder, and they just looked at each other, shook their heads, and laughed. That was me trying to open up, and it made me feel terrible.
I'm sorry if this seems jumbled; I just have a lot to say. I want to understand what’s going on with me. Are my feelings valid, or am I over-exaggerating, being dramatic, or having a victim complex?
Also I love my parents so much like I just wish things were a bit different and I’m grateful for everything they’ve done for us I really am I don’t want to seem disrespectful but I’m sorry if I’m coming off as disrespectful or ungrateful I don’t know.

TL;DR: boyfriend (M30) learnt my native language secretly to listen in on what my me (F30) and my family talk about.
Some basic info on us that I think is relevant:
My bf, come from a kind of rich country in europe, and has been living in the secondary country for all of his life. He has a good job but has had bad relationships in the past.
I (GF) come from a comparitively under-developed country and met my bf on holiday to visit my brother in the secondary country.
I met my boyfriend about 3.5 years ago, we spoke for a year while he visited almost every month even though it is far, he sorted out having me move to the secondary country where I have been living with him for 2.5 year. So far it has been great, he's kind, smart and very charismatic. I know all of his friends and family and nobody has said anything bad about him or mentioned anything about him learning my language so I think they do not know.
All my family speaks English fully but we default to a kind of small dialect of a language when I am home, they are here, or I am on the phone. He has no links to this community other than his step-dad who is from the same place as me, but has never hinted or even joked that my bf knows our language.
So. On with the story.
We were both home today, he is working on his laptop and someone from his work comes to the door and he has to leave urgently. This happens sometimes and is not unusual.
After a while I walk by the table he works on near the kitchen, and see that his laptop is still on and unlocked, with a document open in my native dialect, which as far as I knew he only knows a maximum of 5 words. I know it's bad of me, but I decided to snoop. I know that is dishonest of me but you can't not see the screen when you go to the kitchen and this isn't exactly something you would ignore, because its so unexpected.
I looked through the document, and it's basically small notes on a conversation I had with my brother earlier where my bf has listed down some slang phrases we used, which i thought was odd as my bf doesn't speak my language and incredibly intrusive (i know, irony). So by now I have to know more, so I carried on looking at his laptop and I saw a folder titled with my language and can see in there that he has been paying for lessons for almost 3 years and I can see all of his notes, which include writing practice stories in my language, letters and even watching tv shows. So I can see that he isn't just learning basic phrases, he has a very extremely advanced knowledge and understands almost everything, including slang we use.
Following on from this, I see messages between him and his tutor, explicitly saying that he is learning the language not to talk, but only to listen to me my family and my friends to see if we are looking to hurt him and if I mention something to a friend indicating that I'm cheating etc.
By now I'm angry, I know it probably look bad since I just admitted to snooping, but I've never given him a reason to think I'm scamming him or whatever, and I don't intend to.
Also, whenever I have been with family, he has made me translate what they are saying into English almost every day for 3.5 years while he has played dumb like he doesn't understand anything other than hello and give me beer.
Should I confront him and let him know all of this? some of this? I don't think I can ignore it as it is bothering me so much and I'm sure he will be back later tonight and he will know something is wrong. I love him of course, but I feel betrayed and now I'm worried about other things he may be hiding.

So I've had some issues for a time being with my parents. It all really started cause I didn't really want to come out of my room, and I told them I didn't want to go to college. I really thought they would lay off my back, but then it got bad really quick. I had gotten into an argument with my mom in the morning, and I told her that she sucked at parenting. I even listed why, and that's because she had diametric favoritism to my younger brother whom is autistic, and she's made him dependent on them, and telling me I had to be his role model and go to college according to the psychiatrist I've been seeing(It gets worse trust me). Mind you, this kid just plays video games all day, and they find him the "Perfect child." They don't even care if he does anything with his life or not. When it comes to me, they're all up in my business telling me do this do that. So anyways, my dad printed off a 4-5 page contract, and basically these rules were literally crazy(Ill attach all the images of all the contracts I have received from each of them) I had a mental breakdown, cause well yea what else am I supposed to do when I'm told sign away your life on this piece of paper which isolates me from everyone, and says if you don't do this, we wont sign your early grad approval form. I went through a really bad breakdown too, my face is still quite scarred from scratching myself, and since I have a history of sh in stressful situations, I basically relapsed because of it, and was thinking of dying cause of the amount of stress brought onto me. So I got mad, went home, and burned it. He printed off another page, and right after my AP exams he hands it to me . Tells me to read it. I say, I don't want to read it right now. He's like well you better. I still denied. He didn't like that, and we got into an argument where I told him I don't claim him as my father if he's going to be like this. He told me I was a "Gaslighting Manipulator," he then proceeded to hit me against the dash(3rd time, first with my mom), and told me to "Get the fuck out and walk home", so I didn't know if I was kicked out or not cause like. Was it just the car? Or just gone forever. I walked literally all the way to the highway by my house, and called my gf on the way who sent her mom to pick me up. I was shaking and crying so badly, and didn't know what to do. So I stayed at her place for about 5 hours ish, and when my mom threatened to call the police I finally came home. She even said "I looked for you," but idk how accurate that is. The next day, they had cut off my cell service, and I couldn't text anyone or call anyone, and they realized that. I needed to talk to my therapist, but I couldn't. I needed to tell them everything that has been going on, but I couldn't. The next day, my friends read the contract cause I came in crying. I talked the guidance counselor for like 3 hours. They told me they couldn't do anything like call cps because of no present physical abuse. I talked to a crisis worker, they told me I couldn't really do anything cause of the same thing too. Then things got wayyyy worse. It was around 4, on Friday, May 10th. My mom had came in. I told her I didn't want to see my psychiatrist cause we weren't clicking. She's homeopathic so it's not a good fit. She asked for other alternatives, I didn't know any at the time so I just said idk. My mom apparently called Martha, and Martha said that it might be best to get me committed. It's now 4:30, both my mom and dad walk in after I make myself food and think that oh I'll still be forced to go on call again so I might as well have some food before hand. I got my food, and I went down to the corner of the hallway. My dad, standing right by my brother's room. My mom standing right near the kitchen and front door. They told me get your shoes on we're going, I told them I didn't need it I just didn't click with her. They didn't believe me and I ran to my room. I was followed, I told him no. I don't want to be touched, and when I began to eat my food he basically grabbed me. I tried my best to escape him, but he had a firm grip around my arms and chest. I tried to find anything to latch onto while I was being dragged and shit was being thrown amongst the floor. I couldn't do anything I was helpless I just kept telling them to let me go this was abuse TwT. My mom didn't help either. I was dropped at the shoe rack to get my shoes on. I refused...my mom was then screaming at me "SHUT THE HELL UP YOU'RE GOING" I refused again, she said "ALRIGHT IM CALLING THE COPS." My dad told her to back off basically that she was not helping. But I was picked up again, and held onto the doorframe for as long as I could yelling "IM NOT GOING I DONT WANT TO", she basically just yelled at me,"YOU'RE GOING TO GET THE HELP YOU NEED..." Then she slammed the front door in my face I tried to grab onto whatever I could..but my dad switched his grip on how he was holding me I bit him in the arm and he pinned me down on the sidewalk holding my throat for a bit. I felt like I was going to die. I still kicked and flailed my arms and legs. My mom was there, and she tried to help, but as soon as she tried anything I smacked her in the face. I was thrown in the car right behind the driver's seat. I began to punch at the window, my mom said,"if you break that window I'm having your ass." I stopped, My mom said "good luck." As soon as my dad hopped in, I took advantage and said "I'm not going!," kicked the door open, and ran. I didn't know where to,but I had an idea. I had to avoid the roads as I knew my dad wouldn't come on foot. Hed come in his truck. I ran down the hill in my socks going through bushes just to get down it. I was on the left side of highway 14. Running, I saw my dad's truck and dipped behind a tree. He parked it along the side of the road so I just waited it out. I thought he'd get out, and chase me,but it didn't seem like he saw me. When he turned the truck around, I knew I had time to get away. I didn't know where to go, my first instinct was gf's house,but I knew he might come back that way. So I ran to a neighbor down the hill's house. I rung the doorbell basically crying on their porch, and said "I need help..." The man who answered the door was a retired physician. He asked me what happened I told him my dad basically was physically abusing me, and I didn't know where else to go. So I ran. He let me inside. Where he gave me a glass of water, orange juice, and lemon balm cake. Told me I need to eat more cause I'm a young person to grow. He seemed like a nice guy, he had friends he was going out with, and I felt bad I disturbed his time. He asked me all sorts of questions about me, and I answered truthfully and kindly. The first thing he did was talk to his neighbor Lois who recommended calling the sheriff. He did that, and basically it was just a waiting game. I shook and cried a bit, cause I was so scared. I talked to his daughter who was a child psychologist who told me I'd have to talk to my parents eventually. I didn't want to. The sheriff arrived maybe an hour later. He talked to me, I told him the situation he basically said I couldn't be running away,but he'd call crisis to get this checked out. I remember riding in the squad car back, and crying. I just didn't wanna go back. I waited outside the squad car while he talked to my parents. When he came back over he said that my dad was the only one who would be open to getting me a new psychiatrist. He called crisis, he told me I didn't meet the criteria. I mean I'm pretty mentally stable as far as I want to get clean. Uhm, so I talked to my dad a bit. I then went inside as the officer asked. My mom and brother packed their shit, and left. My father talked to the cop for a good hour, and when I looked out the window it's like he was being checked. I didn't know what to do, so I just did the few chores that I knew wouldn't get done cause my brother was gone. Took a shower, and made sure to turn off the rgb to my pc. My gf had a feeling, and I didn't want to tempt it. Then I fell asleep. Plus I'm supposed to get a sim card aswell that I pay for, but the package disappeared, and my gf feels really bad about it. So that solves one problem of not being able to contact people, but now my mom is literally on my ass. She gave me a contract too, I told her I don't want anymore contracts. We got into an argument, and she called me a "narcissist" I said I am? So are you. Starting to look like your grandma there(my great great grandma was a narc and she was raised by her) I was angry, still am. Like now, my family wont talk to me, or even look at me, and worst of all? My mom basically is trying to make me fail cause I have a tendency to oversleep, and she wont even come wake me up, and take me to school so shes basically trying to make me fail, even though I know if she does that her ass is grass.I don't wanna sign these bogus contracts, I don't even want them to be my family anymore tbh, but idk if they're narcs, or im just the narc here. Cause idk...its a really messy situation. sooooo Help? Suggestions? Is this normal???

So here we are at last. Hurrah. (In pirates voice )The end. Part 4. As it were. (Laugh at them) I'm just sayin I'm insane!
If I can even think i can change anything at this stage of the game, I must be insane. And yet I do believe. Because I believe in the goodness of us. And the reason I believe in the goodness of you, is because even within a world wot currently, externally, places so little value, on goodness, I still observe, the goodness shared between friends and good strangers alike. 100 times a day. More, if I pay closer attention.
And so by mine own eyes, the whitless witness, I believe in the goodness, I see in you, pretty much all o' you. But every day. And because I believe wot I see, so yet I have hope for us. So yea, that's me insane then! Ho hey, hey ho. And on we go.
So, dearly beloved we are gathered here today to confront the spaces we have allowed to grow between us.
To confront the void, from which our current sense of hopelessness, wot we are all stuck in together, but feeling alone with, eminates.
Look at them seriously Stevie.... challenge them to think about it with just your eyes.
The truths waiting in t'wings to be rediscovered to replace the bollockshit lies we have come to believe about each other, on t'other side. And each other, of course, is just another, way, of saying ourselves? Right?
For no matter how much, both sides doth protest of each other too much
We only are, ourselves. Together.
Just us lot. Making it up as we go along, and trying to not let on, together.
Right?
For better or worse.
Because only together can we rediscover and so reconnect with the common ground that we hadn't even realised was at stake, at the time, ways back when, which it woz. And which we then lost; gave up, infact. We had to; couldn't hold the common ground and prove each other wrong, so away we all trouped, and we didn't stop, until either side could no longer hear t'others poisoned lies.
And so our problem right now, is found within the truth of the words ’we can only do this together. And we certainly can't do this against each other. Because the truth of the this is only to be found listening to the words of each other. The thing we can only do together. Upon our common ground. Cumon. It's time to find our way back. Try to remember.
I told you before. Remember! Trust me, its going to get harder, but then you will Remember. Just stick with it a little longer. It will get better.
A moment in time for us to shine approaches..... Become stronger.
Cuz these strange days is the time of EitheOr. Transition Time, and we've been here before. Many times in fact. The only time in fact, to heal, the break, whilst it's actually a'breakin, round us. And us! Cuz once the spirit of our goodness is crushed, once we no longer feel reciprocation within our wider world, so we are forced into darkness to reset, allowing the break to go unfixed and the faulty cycle to complete, and so we are then forced to repeat, these crazy times again. And again. And again. Just Cuz we didn't learn the lesson in time, in time. This time around.
This bit in which we find ourselves right ere right now in fact, this bit in which we can't see the woods for the trees.... But still. I tell you buddy, woods are just full'o trees. Cumon. It's become time to remind yerself to think clearly again.
You are it's measure. We are, together. The measure of this bit, our time, these days, right now.
Just sayin
And this journey we all have to choose to take, to achieve all of this, can only begin when you start to believe in the goodness of enough of us again, and really I mean, when you choose to see, that just as on your side, some of those on t'other side of your particular divide, are gooduns too. Some notsomuch. Ja mais vu. But this is the truth that unites all sides, the truth that for us, will ever be, our humanity. (Dah dah dahhh) (Start rubbing head) And that journey can only begin after you have confronted the void buddy. A moment deep down, in some ways, some of us have always known would be waiting, didn't we. Haven't we. Known. That at some point in our future. A moment...... Just like this one.......
Well your future has arrived buddy. All of our futures have. Cuz Its time.
But you can do this. I believe in you.
REWRITE So firstly buddy we have to see what we have come to see. You and me. To first peer, into the void, and then you have to choose to steer, into the void. To first feel what its oppresivity has allowed us to become to each other. Because this is what we do to each other, when we are blinded by fear, surrounded by darkness, and feeling so alone, so desperately alone, that we allow ourselves to be forced to conform by contorting to fit the faulty framework. Which secondly is just a fancy rhyming pants way o'sayin, when our fear gets our better, and drives us to hide, alone, but actually all together, huddled inside, the void.
(Master you) Too much (tap head)
So we're going to choose to confront the void, and then we are going to choose to go into the void, and then we're going to pull ourselves out.
And you are going to resist.
So you have to be the strong one in all this.
But trust me. I promise, with my love, I won't let you go.
Breathe. Even if you do feel silly, please, do it for a buddy, buddy. Breathe. And..... then breathe again. This time just a lil deeper, a lil slower. Breathe comfortably once more and you may notice that whereas at times in our recent past, you may have found yourself struggling for breath, so now just notice how easy your breathing is.....see. You're looking for your old rhythm now... Remember, before the anxiety set in ... Try to Remember what it felt like, when you breathed freely.
To breathe normally.
And breathe.
Normanly!
And as you settle into your old groove, then take a few more comfortable breaths, just because, you know, you can again....
And breathe.
Now, with yer focus on yer Eupnea, yer trying to look fer, the sliver of a moment bein the bit after y'exhale has ended, but before y'inhale begins. (Do it here) That one teeny tiny point which exists for just a tiny instant, but again and again, within us, moment by moment, breath by breath, each turn of your own lifecycle: all of us connected, by this shared moment, wether we choose to believe it or no, by this thinest delicatist moment we are all connected by , right up til our penultimate breath. Just sayin.Just notice it, as you reach it, each time, in time, its time comes around. (Here)The individual lustre of a moment between moments when everything hangs in the balance....
Without rushing your comfortable breathing, when its time comes round, this is the moment you now aim for each time it comes around. (HERE)
And now Notice it's depth, even as it all too briefly fleets past, you can yet perceive great depth, within the slither. (Here)

And now next time, or maybe the next time after your breathing reaches this moment, cast your minds eye , like a fisherman casts their fly, aiming into the very heart of that fleeting moment each time it passes by. (Here) Again and again each time it's time comes, you cast, until more often than not your aim meets it's mark. (Here) Until eventually you feel confident enough with your aim, in that fleeting moment inside, so to try, to flip your view from micro to macro. So still tho a fleeting moment, you begins to discern it's brilliance, each time, from within. And so now as this moment appears, each time within your own personal timeline: rush to reach deep inside it to look for and then to find the tiny seed of peace, deep within the heart between each moment. Each and every time, between each and every breath now you look for this moment and you find it. Let its momentary cyclical pulse of sweet peace become familiar to you. It is, after all, a part of the cycle of you. And so now as you continue to comfortably breathe, Anticipate it..... This beautiful moment between breaths, between times, you are trying to elongate it.. to stretch it out, and now not this time, but maybe the next time, or maybe the next next time, anticipate that beautiful moment, then experience that beautiful moment, and then take an extra moment, elongate that moment: hold time in your mind as you hold your breath for just a slight moment lond itger, (HERE) and then without really you thinking about it, as you then get picked up by the cycle of time again, you just become uncoupled. And so now you are ready. Just simply drop out of time. It's ok. Let go. I've got you. 

(Here, or not) Booof!
There you go. Just for a minute. Just you and me buddy. Connected by just our love. And how amazing is that! And I promise I won't let go.
Ive brought you here cuz you needs to feel what it does to you buddy. Cuz wot it does, is why we then allow ourselves to do, wot we then do, to each other, and the kiddies. Why it makes us bring out the worst in each other. So we can realise how to stop bringing out the worst in each other. And to confront it we needs to understand what its oppressive hopeless energy feels like, discrete from our own personal burdens. Which is why you needs to confront it out of time. See. You need to learn it's discrete burden so then you know what it is you need to choose to ignore, when this moment ends and you go back to feeling it all. So that it can then begin to heal for us all. So we all can..... Before we all can, move on .......or at least just enough of us. I hope that makes sense. I wish I had better words for it to make better sense.
All the pain you feel in your heart right now, out of time, is just the void.
You can feel it, can't you. Good. That's just what it feels like when we are in needing of healing is all. The thing we can only do for each other, with our love.
And now we've found this space outside of time together. It's time, together, to steer into the void. A trick I learnt from an organisation I'm passionate about. A long time ago. To see, wot we needs to see.
REWRITE Do you remember that seed of imagination we set loose and slowly sent way down, until It slipped from memory, at the beginning of part 1? And if you don't, and I'm right, then it doesn't actually matter anyways. Hey ho. The dreams worth of hope we set loose to plumb our depths. Well hopefully it has now fulfilled it's purpose. Because now all you needs to do is just follow it's trail, that starts exactly where you stopped thinking bout it, in your mind, as deep as you stuck with the thought, begin your search there and once you find its end, just simply allow yerself ter zoom along it's length like data along a fibre optic cable - and then popping out the end. And if you didn't do the thing in part 1, it's ok, then just pretend 😁
Booof!
And if you did do the thing in part one. when you arrive, if you notice a bloke with a unicorn, don't worry about it.
And so we have arrived, now, you and I, but now you have to choose to steer Into your own personal deepest darkness. The place only you know exists inside of you, where your own lil bit of our void resides. Turn to face it, and then just start Pushin through in your mind. The resistance, with the fear, will pass.
Keep pushing through the fear, and when it subsides, allow yourself to chill out for a while whilst you adjust to this deeper darkness. And then so acclimatised. in your mind, just keep pushin on. And what feels so close around you, all around you, suffocatingly so, is just the pain of the void.
Keep calm and you will acclimatise to it's cyclical waves of intensity. The sickness feeling will pass, hopefully.
Try to think It's like entering lake water
Breathe comfortably still. Remember. I'm here too.
And when you feel the resistance subside and so the moment of panic passes, you have arrived, close both your actual eyes and your minds eyes, and then just use your love to probe around in the darknes, to discover where it hurts the most. And once you are confident it's truly the most hurty place, then simply hold your hands out, open your eyes and look down and you will see yourself. The scared you. The afraid you. Be strong, I've got you two. They/you reach up with grateful eyes, and desperate hands and with tears in your own, take theirs, and lift them up, reach around to support them - they are weak, but you will grow stronger. And then reunited again, shuffle round, 180 degrees like really bad salsa dancers, on your heels, in your mind and then facing away from the pain, take one purposeful step, together, back out of the void.
Not a giant step. But a confident step. Nonchalantly, and with just a touch of swagger if you can manage it😁
Cuz fuck it. You know.
See I knew I was right about the time thing.
We all know that time is the key that unlocks the future, but it can also be used to seal the past. But only once enough of us are ready to give enough of us a second chance. Which really just means a new path. A new perspective, and all that really means is are you ready to move on? To create an anchor point in time, together, from which to pivot our path, and so then to face what wos always going to becoming our ways anyways, our generations veritable ecological destiny, from the very start of time. Think about that! But now think about it, together.
And so finally, before time notices we are AWOL, and so before this moment passes, (leaving you to wonder if it ever really happened....long pause, look at em all)
There's just time for a quick sandbox reality experiment!
Imagine yerself a world, a facimily of this one, but yer made-up world is made up of good folks, who thanks to a reality flash realised, together, that the only true value to their continued existence was to be found in the community of each other. All of em, together. Or not at all.
Eitheor.
Just that.
And these good folks, not dissimilar to ourselves infact, realised that if they could help each other get their shit together, they could change their future together, and if they came up with a good enough framework, framework 2.0 as it were, that that change, could be, forever.
And because they did, so they did.
In your sandbox reality, Imagine what it feels like, being the good folks who achieved all that, in our near future, and then all you needs to do , is just take here, now, today as your starting point, and then just work out how to become them. And that's the journey just enough of us have to take, if we want things to go differently from this, for us. From now on.
I don't make the rules, and you get to choose your own path. But know, that whether you realised this moment as a choice or no, in these changing times, a choice, by us all, will be made.
And as time finally looses patience with us, so our moment out of time, as all moments, in and out of time, must, transitions.
So finally.... There is a moment in our future where all this has already happened. I know this, because I have been there and I have felt what it feels like to be apart of. Its beautiful beyond my megre words, like turds, will ever be able to express.
And every generation that comes after those heroes of humanity, blesses the very day, the very hour, minute and second that their forebares finally chose to choose. Better. for each other, and all I'm sayin is why not us. Why not here, why not now, today. The moment when humanity finally realised the truth of the words; that it doesn't have to be this way.
StevieP Mar- apr 2021 and then April onwards 2022. Re picked up apr 24 I watched kid goats frolicking, a long time ago now, with a friend, at a farm. Happy memories indeed!
And now another year has gone by, and here I am again, believing that Ive given my very best, hoping it will become enough and eagerly awaiting the chance to try to begin our Summer Of Love 2022.
Well May 24 today and that shit didn't happen! Heya ho. And on we go. Onwards and upwards. And once more with pasta.
That doesn't sound right.

I am currently committed to UC Irvine, but I just got off the waitlist for UCSB and now I only have one week (until 5/27/2024) to decide if I want to accept! :0 I am crosslisting this post both here and on UCI's subreddit. Any advice or insights are greatly appreciated!!
Schools: UC Santa Barbara vs UC Irvine
Intended major: Undeclared, currently learning towards psych or another social science
Similarities: Price, UC opportunities, similar distance from home, similar weather
UC Irvine
Pros:

• Already committed and paid a couple hundred in fees
• I like the circular nature of the campus with the park in the middle
• Good undeclared program
• They have both a BA and BS in psych
• Not much Greek life
• People seem to have a good work-life balance
• There’s a nice little town right across the street from Irvine that has fun restaurants and things
• I’ve researched more about UCI since I have already committed there, so I know things like what dorm I’m excited about and stuff — it’s sunk in for me that I’ve committed there and I feel pretty good about it at the moment (but I think I would if I had originally chose UCSB, too, and I don’t know if I would have chosen Irvine over UCSB if I’d originally gotten into both)
• Good mascot
• I've heard they might have better internships since they're closer to more businesses and cities
• I’ve asked people questions in person and on a few discord servers, and everyone seemed really nice

Cons:

• 40% of people I surveyed on UCI’s YikYak said they are NOT glad they chose to attend UCI and a few people said they felt lonely. 75% of the people I surveyed on UCI's YikYak recommended that I choose UCSB
• Commuter-like campus, so it’s pretty quiet on the weekends
• You need a car to get anywhere off campus
• When asked, people don’t seem super sure as to why they chose UCI over other schools/don't seem super excited about being at UCI even if they say they enjoy it
• Orange County is more conservative leaning
• People say that it's pretty boring and there's not much to do

UCSB
Pros:

• Everyone on campus was super welcoming and seemed to be enjoying themselves when I visited
• 91% of the people I surveyed on UCSB’s YikYak were glad they chose to attend UCSB
• It's right on the beach and by a little college town
• There’s a super vibrant social life there
• People say that there’s a good balance of humanities and STEM and a good work-life balance
• I felt more excited about UCSB than UCI when I first visited both schools
• I have friends who are going there
• The campus is gorgeous

Cons:

• I’m not a party person and around 60% of the people I surveyed on YikYak said they enjoyed partying, so that might be the main social life aspect and/or I might feel out of place
  • I’m also not a surfer or anything like that
• It seems to have a party school reputation more than a good academic reputation
• They don’t have a great undeclared program
• Besides the beach and the tiny little college town, it is also kind of in the middle of nowhere (although people seemed to complain about that a bit less)
• Their dorm situation doesn't sound great
• I would be committing late, so would have lost some money on UCI and also I might end up getting worse housing and stuff because I’d be filling out those forms later
• I currently know less about it so need to do more research

Tiebreaking considerations:

• Academics and academic opportunity
• Social life/would I be happy there?

Seriously to all the devs out there the lack of communication and updates is pathetic.
We purchased dlc, had nothing but amazing things to say about the port to console, brought our friends into the mix , got them to love it, and then you guys update god knows what the fuck, now you can’t play a god damn game without freezing every 15 mins.
Gaming companies have no self respect anymore….fucked it up? Ohhhh welllll we can always update it again.
P A T H E T I C !

Hello,
The reason I’m posting this is really for one reason; to clear up any sort of misinformation and misunderstandings of what the DSVA experience was like, but also to speak on other NATSAP program experiences since so many people here believe that these programs are nothing more than “labor camps” and “punishments for youth”.
Allow me to clear the air a little.
Now, I’m not here to discredit anyone’s negative experience or to say your experience wasn’t traumatic in any way. I’m not here to tell you that you can’t feel the way you feel about these places. My condolences go to the family’s or friends that have lost a loved one because of these programs. May they rest in peace.
I’m here to shed some light on this topic in a perspective, from someone that lived it, that maybe you haven’t considered yet.
Let me start by sharing a lil info about me. My name is Ian. I am 23 years old. Born and raised in Wisconsin later moved to North Carolina where I live today. My life hasn’t been all sunshine and rainbows. If I were to go into full detail of all the major life events that led me to who I am today, it would probably take me a whole day to share completely the full “trauma” of my “troubled youth”. Nobody likes that guy anyway, so I’ll spare you the bullshit.
Here’s some credibility to the naysayer’s, who I’m sure are gonna ride me up and down for this post.
Lacrosse juvenile detention center (WI): 14-15 years old In and out for weeks-months
New vision wilderness program (WI): 15 years old 3 months
Winnebago mental health institute (WI): 15 years old 1 month
New vision wilderness program (WI): (Yes I went a second time) 15 years old 2 months
Montford Hall residential substance abuse treatment center and therapeutic boarding school for boys (NC): 15-16 years old 6 months (Court ordered for a year, kicked out for being unmanageable)
Second nature/blue ridge wilderness program (GA): 16 years old 1 month
Mission hospital Copestone (NC): 16 years old 2 weeks
Discovery School of Virginia for boys (VA): 16-17 years old 1 year
In total:
1 - juvenile detention center 2 - psych wards 3 - wilderness programs 2 - boarding schools
I wasn’t at home from the age of 15-17 years old. All my birthdays and holidays were spent in some jail cell, institution, or some program somewhere in the middle of nowhere.
Calling ourselves survivors is absurd. There was never any real danger to your life, you and I both know that. (Again, this is directed more towards the people that have either attended some of the same programs/treatments or have attended a place very similar to it.) Especially at DSVA or any wilderness program.
We were fed three times a day with edible food, full portions, even including snacks now and then. We were given clean drinking water. We were able to practice good hygiene, like brushing your teeth twice a day, taking warm showers, given clean towels and clothes that bested the outdoors, even toilet paper to wipe your own ass. Our sleep schedule was better than that of what we have today, at least 8 hours of sleep. I remember having about 10 hours of sleep every single night. And no matter where we laid our head at night, we always had something over us to protect us from the elements. Whether it was a tarp, a tent, or for the lucky ones, a literal roof.
Everything that I have just listed above is every humans basic needs for survival. Something the programs I attended always made sure we had. To call ourselves survivors means we were battling death in order to live. When was there ever a situation at these programs where you were in a life or death scenario? Coming from someone that has hiked in -20 degree blizzards of northern wisconsin and worked in 90 degree humidity in the clay of Virginia, sounds pretty over dramatic buddy.
When I first heard of people calling themselves “survivors” that went to similar programs as me, I had to laugh. It’s such a ridiculous thing to say and I always get second hand embarrassment. I have never once in my life considered myself a “survivor” of these programs because if it wasn’t for ME and MY ACTIONS, I wouldn’t be there in the first place.
The only logical explanation I would accept for anyone here wallowing in their own self-pity is that you didn’t actually work the program. What I mean by that is that you “faked it till you made it” and you put on this smile pretending everything was all good in your world so that nobody called on you when it came time to work on yourself.
To tell you the truth, we used to pick on kids like that in my group. You were perceived as weak by your group mates if you couldn’t talk about the things that hurt you, especially with a bunch of guys that your forced to live with everyday. If you didn’t want to fess up to your issues, we made sure to call a group meeting so you could get that off your chest. Why? Because it’s not about you. It’s about the group, and if one man has a bad day, then the whole group has a bad day. We’re not saying you can’t have a bad day, but we’re not gonna let you slow down the group because of it.
That was group Dakota DSVA 2016-17 right there baby. We were always on top, always eating in the lodge, never had some kid ruining our fun because we didn’t rock with that selfish crap. You want to cry about having to dig out a tree stump with Mr. Outland all day or push wheelbarrows all day? Tough luck kid, we all had to do it at one point or another. Grow a pair and keep your head up.
Most of the kids that complained about everything were the rich kids with daddy’s money who never spent a night outside their bougie gated community. LOL. You know who you are. All mad because their parents wouldn’t let their spoiled kid buy drugs with their money anymore. Sorry you got “gooned” buddy. Each time I showed up to a program I was in shackles and chains, cry harder.
Some people here will probably think what I’ve said so far is insensitive, maybe even harsh, but I ask you, what good does it do you to complain constantly about what happened to you in the past? Have you benefited from whining about what happened to you at these places?
I used to think and react the same way you people did not too long ago. I used to have that victim mentality. I’d walked around crying “woe is me”, but nothing changed. The world kept spinning and I felt like I was left behind in a world that could never understand the mental anguish I received from these “horrible” places.
Turns out I was right, they could never understand. Why? Because they never experienced it, but we did. That makes us stronger in so many ways. I used to feel sad that I never took a cute girl to prom, only to realize that while people were finishing up high school in some boring class, I was going from state to state backpacking and hiking for miles. Living outside for months on end, battling the elements, making amazing friends, reaching new destinations and seeing amazing views. I was doing things that my peers today will probably never get to experience in their lifetime. It gave me a feeling of pride that I still cherish to this day. I wouldn’t want it any other way.
It hurt not being home. I hated my parents for allowing the courts to keep sending me to these places. I refused to write them, but I knew it wasn’t their fault. It was me who put myself in those programs, not the court, not my family, I alone made my life that way, because of my actions. Not being able to be at home with my sister, who grew up without her older brother for 3 years, that broke my heart. When my parents were allowed to visit me it was a special occasion full of celebration, especially when I got to see my little sister again. All my hard work to see my family each time made me feel not just accomplished, but a happiness that I rarely feel today. It reminds me of how grateful I am for my family, and forgiving me for the hell that I put them through in my former years.
I used to think I deserved an apology for what I went through. I’ve taken my accountability, where’s the sympathy for me? I blamed everyone else for what happened to me, and maybe there’s some truth in that, but when I considered how I got to these programs it made me realize how wrong I was. I used to think the reason I was in those programs was because my parents didn’t want to parent me, or that the court system failed me.
Nah, it’s because I was a troubled kid. With a lot of anger and a lot of pain that no ordinary therapist could even begin to scratch the surface of. I needed that tough love that I never got, and if it wasn’t for these programs, I wouldn’t be who I am today. Someone who is happy with what they’ve got.
Anyways, take what you will from all of this. I just wanted to put this out there for the world to see in case somebody sees it and realizes they relate to it. Our past doesn’t have to define us, and it can make us warriors instead of victims. Nobody’s gonna make that decision for you. It’s up to you to create a brighter future.

I know this is such a cliché question, but finally, after 19 years living on this earth, I finally know what I want to do. For context, I am currently studying about AI. The reason I chose this field is because of part of my friend's advice, my lack of direction after I'd finished high school, and because I think that since AI is basically everywhere now, it would open up many job opportunities for me in the future. But in the middle of my FIRST semester, I fell into this kind of depression phase? Where I would just stay at home all day and just do nothing, I just stop caring like I wasn't even taking care of myself anymore for awhile..., I just watch a bunch of YouTube videos all day. I just feel hopeless and directionless, the major that I blindly chose just isn't for me at all (shocking, I know), it had gotten to the point that I often make up excuses just to not go to class, and as a result, I failed 2 subjects. So fast forward to 1 day while I was mindlessly watching some YouTube videos I came across an animation channel that makes me realize how much back in the day I always wanted to start an animation YouTube channel like Jaiden Animation, TheOdd1sOut, or Domics since these are some of my favorite channels that I grew up with. I know that whoever reads this might roll their eyes or find it cringe (it's me, I'm just self-projecting), but I feel like I have a purpose to keep living now and It's been 2 weeks since I started learning how to draw, and I know it's too early to say anything, but after realizing what I truly wanted to do gives me life now, I even go to class regularly now. But now I face a dilemma since the major that I'm currently pursuing still sucks the soul out of me. I wanted to know what should I do? Should I focus on my passion or just forget about it since it's just delusional, or should I just keep studying while focused on what I wanted to do, but then the time and money I put on my college degree would be wasted... So I would like to know what you guys all think
edit: sorry for the long paragraph it's my first time posting anything on Reddit since I'm just mainly a lurker, if there any further question you guys wanted to know more you guys can just comment. edit 2: if some of you guys wanted to know the channel that inspired me ,it's "Cận Thị TG" he's an vietnamese story time youtuber who has a fire art-style and animation if any of you guys can understand vietnamese I highly recommend watching him !

Early on our relationship palang my ex [23F] confessed on cheating on 2 of her previous ex, I should have known she'd do it again! I guess I thought maybe iba ako sakanya pero hindi pala.
A little background on us, I'm [26M] and trying to grow my family business while she's a freshman in Medschool, so mejo tight kami on seeing each other, but I always make it a point for us to meet 2 times a month, even to the detriment of my business and health sometimes.
She knew the guy from a bar nung January pa, a BAR! I freaking trusted her when she said she's going out with friends, I trusted na even with our semi-LDR state we would make it till the end! Just this weekend magkasama kami, Sunday night we even talked about a common family friend na priest to possibly officiate our wedding, tapos Monday night lumabas sya with some guy at the middle of the night! A guy she barely even know kasi daw she wanted to "escape" talking about hindi pa sya handa on marriage and settling down. We are together now for 3 years! 26 na ako! If ayaw mong pagusapan pa ang kasal edi sabihin mo! Hindi ung makikipag sex ka sa kung sino sino!
You know what the worst part is? The guy is engaged! Na engage sya nung December and January palang nasa bar na sya naghahanap ng kerida, months kayong magkakilala and now you just found out he's a serial cheater rin? Isang search mo lang sa facebook bubulagta ung post nila ng fiancè nya and you did not know?? Neknek mo! I freaking lied to myself when I learned you cheated on your past relationships thinking maybe I'm special for you pero hindi pala. It's a dark world out there fellas, best be careful.
Also she begged me not to contact the guy and his fiancè, saying ayaw nya ng gulo and that takot sya, ano yun? Sinira mo buhay ko tas ung random na ka sex mo mapayapa buhay??

Does anyone else feel like being lonely hits very differently after around 25? I'm 27 right now and the past 2-3 years have been uniquely miserable for me even though I've been depressed and lonely/friendless since around 14. I read that there are brain changes that happen after you around 25 so that might be why. But another contributing factor I think is that I'm no longer in an institution that facilitates human interaction. I have fewer opportunities to beat my social anxiety and to meet people.
When you're in school or in college most people want to make friends. But as an adult it's so different. Sure you can talk to people you meet, say at a bar or a coffeeshop, but there's so much more resistance and friction, you truly need to connect with each other to become friends and not forget about each other after that one interaction. Even if you have a hobby most people just wanna do their thing and go home or they hang out with their own friend group.
PS: if you're in the same situation, I made a sub for us to discuss and help each other, feel free to join if you're interested: adultsocialanxiety

Hi there, I'm just going to hop right into it.
I'm looking for advice on learning social cues in a timely manner. I wouldn't say I'm a hopeless case when it comes to learning this, but I will say that I do need a bit of uhm, polishing.
For some background, I am 25(f) I was diagnosed autistic and ADHD when I was very young. Literally enrolled into a special preschool for it... I have learned some things, I wouldn't have been able to hold down jobs at manager levels, and have successful relationships with friends and partners even if we're no longer in a relationship... I obviously have some understanding of patterns and social cues but there's definitely red flags and issues that need to be sorted.
Tell me what you can about social cues and I guess give a little guidance? Feel free to ask me anything on this subject to be able to give a better answer.
Also any tips on how to maintain friendships or relationships with people would be... Great. I have been uh... isolating myself and I'm ready to engage with people again...
I appreciate the advice and help in advance. Trying to grow and understand myself a little bit better in the various ways I can... to be better for me and those around me, thank you.

For 5 yrs, I've been part of a healing/meditation group, taking turns hosting sessions monthly. A member of the group, (Ana) has a non-verbal, autistic 19-year-old son (Noah) whom we love very much. When she hosts, we all pitch in to help during Noah's outbursts. He takes his clothes off, then runs outside naked. One of us grabs the emergency pants scattered around the house like fire extinguishers, and help him dress after a quick ear touching ritual. Noah, like me, came into this world with smaller than average male parts
This is important because last week after a session, the term "LDE" came up as we were unwinding around the pool. Ana said something along the lines of "we need a session to heal from all this little dick energy"
I'm usually quiet when this comes up. This time was the exception. I expressed my discomfort at that term; How harmful it was, and how it reduces a man's virility to the size of his penis. She doubled down and continued the misandrist rhetoric, "I'd break all my chakras before I let a tiny dick man into my life"
With the atmosphere already tense, I made a risky move, "How would you feel if Noah understood what you were saying!?"
She did not take that well. "How dare you bring my son into this, you fucking asshole!!" Amongst other unkind actions
That was the end to our nurturing and fulfilling group. Once an Oasis for trauma and pain, now divided
I'm struggling with the possibility that I may have gone too far... Or maybe not. We all have emotional wounds and traumas. Ana's LDE rant may have helped her blow off steam about previous partners, but it was affecting my healing as it's something I've struggled with all my life
Meetings are cancelled indefinitely. I miss my healing crew. AM I THE AHOLE!?
TLDR: got into heated discussion with friend about body shaming, used her autistic son in the argument as example, our friendship was instantly broken(names were slightly altered to protect identities)

I starting showing OCD symptoms at age 10. It started with booby trapping the doors in my bedroom because I was scared my stuffed animals would open the closet door and kill me. I grew out of that but it turned into lock checking. Then it grew into stove dials and outlets. Then I ended up with a bunch of security cameras in my house.
Most of my issues are regarding physical safety and security. I obsess about house fires and burglary mostly. When I started seriously dating (about 10 years ago), I realized I would eventually get into this mindset (around the year and a half mark) of trying to prove my partner doesn't love me or has reservations about me. They don't do anything wrong, but I can't get it out of my head. I ask for reassurances when something causes me to feel that way but it it's hard for me to believe them and it doesn't actually stop the awful feelings I'm having.
Right now I'm in a relationship with my best friend. We were best friends before I confessed to having feelings for him and he quickly reciprocated. We've been together for two years now and honestly, I don't think either of us could imagine not being together.
He's done absolutely nothing wrong in this relationship. He cooks dinner every night and he gives me all the quality time/physical touch/acts of service in the world.
The issue lately has been me. I had in my head that we'd already be engaged at this point. I am appreciative that we haven't rushed into that because I know it's good for us and I want us to go into a very stable healthy marriage, but it's starting to give me intrusive thoughts that he has reservations about me. I'm constantly noticing things that hurt my feelings or make me doubt his integrity then forcing us to have these deep conversations. We've had a few fights just in the last 30 days because I can't let things go without trying to do 20 questions to establish if he has reservations about me. I'm just constantly thinking to myself, "Am I too crazy? Am I not attractive enough? Do you not love me as much as you loved your ex?" It doesn't even matter what he says, my OCD is just wanting me to dig deeper because I think he's hiding something. Mind you, this man is literally within arms reach pretty much 24/7 and treats me great. I don't want to push him away but I feel stuck in this cycle of being insecure and needing reassurance over and over again. Especially while my insecurities are trying to pick apart his integrity. He's mentioned once that my mental illness was a little bit of a reservation but then he has also admitted he was very close to proposing while we were in a vacation once.
Prior to the past few months, my OCD was the best that it's ever been. I feel like living in an apartment, working from home and having him beside me 24/7 has made my OCD feel completely managed (aside from an extra check with the front door whenever we leave the house). I'm obviously needing to get back on meds but I'm shocked that I'm only now realizing that these relationship insecurities I've had in multiple relationships is just a form of my OCD. I told my boyfriend about this and he said "well obviously it's your OCD". I'm glad he recognized it but I don't want to keep giving into it and causing us issues.
I mostly just wanted to post to see if anyone relates or if most people here mostly question their own feelings.

Men 50 years ago used to have a say in what their wife does and wears. He used to be the sole bread winner and she used to take care of the home. This worked for centuries and generations but all of a sudden there are a bunch of cuck fetish men who have no say in their marriage.
They let their wife be friends with men, wear a g string on a beach and even when they have daughters they buy them revealing clothing when they are in high school. They are terrified to speak up about whats right and wrong
Many women are not attracted to submissive cuckish men, they want a leader. Did men just drop testosterone the past 2 decades? A man is supposed to be a leader in the home not a weak feminist person.