Doses lamictal comes in

About a year ago, I started having a change in my bowel habits. I went from going 2-3/day with normal solid stool, to 8-20/day with loose/yellow/floating/mucous combination stool. No matter what I eat I continue to go straight to the bathroom. My stomach pains were unbearable at times and I have a constant fear of not making it to the bathroom on time every single day. I could not go out to eat with family. There was no eating before going anywhere. No trips anywhere, nothing. I finally went to the doctor about 3 months in. I went to my primary care to get a referral for a GI doctor. At my primary care appointment, they drew labs to check my white blood cell count, electrolytes, gallbladder labs, and even checked to see if my thyroid was causing any of this. Then they hit me with giving them a stool sample to check for C-diff… I am a nurse and knew what types of stool C-diff can look like, and i DEFINITELY know what it smells like. I knew I didn’t have it and I never turned in my stool sample. I just thought it was a total waste of time. My other labs came back normal, everything did. She referred me to a GI doctor and the earliest appointment was 3 months away. I waited and continued to try and deal with this completely awful new way of life. I changed my diet to absolutely no sugar, no gluten, no dairy, and high protein/fiber STRICT diet…. This of course did nothing for me. The time has come and I go to the GI appointment, finally. I went on to tell them all of my issues I had been having for the past 6 months. There was the stomach pain, change in bowl habits, constantly having to have a bowel movement, the cololook of the stool, and the 10 pounds of weight loss that had taken place since this has started. They checked the same labs on me as my primary care doc did, did an ultrasound of my abdomen/pelvis, and gave me a stool testing kit. I told them I didn’t have C-diff, but they wanted to check anyways. They also scheduled for me to have colonoscopy and an upper GI scope. The only problem was that the earliest possible appointment was 6 months away…. I begged for them to find a way for it to be pushed up because I had started becoming depressed, developed anxiety, and became a total recluse. I even started taking anxiety medication solely because of this. They said since my ultrasound was normal (other than extreme gas in my abdomen) and my labs didn’t reflect anything serious, they can’t move it up due to being so booked up. I drove home and cried the whole way home. I’ve never felt so defeated in my life. I took my stool sample items and threw them away. The only thought I had was, “what a waste of my time”. I thought nothing was going to be normal again. I had forgotten what even normal was. I decided to call my primary care doctor to see if she could refer me to another GI office. They did, and the earliest appointment was 3 months away…. Yes, another delay. I waited and waited. Still no socializing, staying home, going to work ONLY, barely eating, more weight loss, and now the presence of blood that started to appear in my stool…. Did I mention that I had been taking a box/more of immodium every month in order to be able to work my full time night shift ICU nurse job…??? Yep… not kidding, and every NP/doctor I had talked to thus far knew this… Finally, after 9 months I had my appointment with the other GI office. They again did the same as the other office except order an ultrasound. The only thing different was they told me that I would be priority over anyone on receiving a colonoscopy due to my s/s. They scheduled it 2 weeks away which was their earliest appointment possible at the time. I was so relieved it was unreal. I was finally taken seriously. They also said they MUST have a stool sample on me before I had the scope done. So i grabbed the supplies they gave me and went home to have a BM, placed it into the fridge (absolutely disgusting), and then drove it up to the clinic the next day. 3 days went by and I had a phone call. They called to tell me my labs came back normal, but that I tested positive for C-diff…… I couldn’t speak. I was in such shock and disbelief. They also called to tell me that they were canceling my scope and sending in 2 weeks worth of Vancomycin that I need to take 4/times. I cried and cried and cried. I just knew it wasn’t C-diff and they had gotten my samples mixed. I was so disgusted and angry at them for canceling my scope because I knew that would give me the answers that I needed to possibly get back to normal again. I got over it. Started taking the antibiotics, and stopped taking the immodium. My bowel movements decreased. Stomach pains went away. Blood stopped appearing in my stool. I was almost back to my old self…. Then after the Vanc was done and I had completed the prescribed course, all of my awful, no good symptoms I had before the meds… started again in full force. I have now lost 7 pounds in 3 days. I have not stopped going to the bathroom. I have very pale yellow colored stools. I now have 20 bowl movements a day. I have intense, not being able to even breathe stomach pains. And now a toilet bowl full of blood with a select few of those bowel movements. I called the GI office and they told me they are sending me in a 10 day dose of some other medication that I have yet to figure out due to this occurring today and the med not even being able to be picked up from the pharmacy yet. I am disappointed and mad. I can’t do this anymore. I can barely preform my job which takes ALL of my focus and energy and doesn’t share those things with anything. I have talked myself out of going to the emergency room every time, I guess that’s the nurse in me. I am miserable. I’m going to take these meds and if this doesn’t help I’m telling them I am headed to the emergency room and I don’t care what happens. I just will not let this be me for the rest of my life. I can’t do this another day. Please… can someone help me. I have had C-diff for a total of a year and only known I’ve had this for 1-2 months now. Please tell there is hope of getting rid of this. Anything is helpful at this point…. (Yes I take probiotics and prebiotics. Intake fiber. Even drink Kefer. I also eat yogurt with probiotics every day. None of this helps.) * I also have pictures of my stool that I did show each and every doc * - I know that is insanely weird but I just wanted to be take seriously…..

So, as the title says this is a post on the review and guide to VARC1000 course by Gejo Sir (the VARC God for me I'll say) 🤌🏻 First, I would like to add 2 important notes :)
Note 1 : I went through this year's VARC1000 course and it's very different from last year's course but I'll try to give you a review of it 🫠
Note 2 : You'll find many people suggesting and saying that "pirated content le le" and stuff. But I won't really suggest that. VARC1000 course is more than what the pirated content will offer. It's not just about VARC okay? It will help you with DILR and QA too (Last year Gejo sir had made videos on how he himself solved DILR and gives really amazing tips and tricks). There will be content/materials for GDPI prepration, profile analyser (which I didn't really find helpful tbh), calls predictor (which again turned out to be not so true in my case but for others it was helpful), daily vocab, GK section, WAT topics, your acads specific questions generally asked during PIs etc etc. All this you won't get in the pirated stuff. You'll just get the videos of his lecs that's it. Course hi lena bhai if possible 🙂
👉🏻 Coming to the course's details : This time they have divided the course into 4 sections Launch Phase, Enhance Phase, Advanced Phase and Peak Phase. And each phase (from Enhance Phase) will be launched in specific months from June onwards. As of now the Launch Phase is active 👀
Coming to the description of the phases : As per my understanding it's perfectly summed up to take you from the very basic (launch phase) to the advanced level (peak phase) 🔥
Focus more on the Core Lessons which Gejo Sir will teach you. He'll just tell you the methods and tricks in these videos ig (that's what happened in the last course) and then maybe he'll teach you to apply them. He'll take a particular RC and solve it. Focus on how he deals with all this okay? Obv take the learnings and develop your own strategy/method (you can copy him but we all can't be like him) 😂
He'll throw some tests before the start of the video.. apply your brains there and see how you do. Then he'll also come up with the strategy lessons (very important) wherein he'll tell you about how to approach the VARC section in those 40 mins and what approach you should have. The core lessons, application lessons and strategy lessons were launched together last year in the course and were really helpful! Till now all the is for RC btw. For VA the material won't be much different but he'll teach you specially about how to deal with the VA too!
Then comes the Daily Article Dose! Do it! Roz karo! It's really good. He'll upload the solutions for it. For every article dose he'll do that and solve it for you. Also, throughout this course you'll find a diverse range of RCs! Humanities, Philosophy, Natural Sciences, Arts etc etc. Everything. And I hope that like last year, this year also he'll make seperate videos for every genre! It's really helpful in that sense! 🍻😌
Coming to the tests! He'll give you a lot of sectional tests (minimum 10 sectional tests) and previous year ke course ke bhi kuch tests alagse (this happened in the last year's course). So you need not worry about the sectionals. You'll get a satisfactory number of those. He'll also solve some sectionals for you. You'll be able to see how he solves the VARC section (trust me you'll be amazed seeing his way of solving). You'll also get Daily Drills where you'll have small tests or say 1-2 RCs and a few VA questions etc. this will also be there. Also, you'll get PY CAT papers as mocks and also as sectional tests separately! So that's also a done deal!! 🍻✨
Don't miss Gejo sir's live sessions! He'll have 1-2 every month ig. And those will be really helpful. It's an interactive session so you can ask your doubts there. He's a very funny guy so you won't be bored. He'll also give you some videos (hopefully) on how to approach DILR! He's a genius in DILR also (atleast for me) 💥
Then comes the Telegram Group of VARC1000 where Gejo sir will also be there! It's a very interactive group and very much helpful. A really nice place to be in I'll say as you'll find serious aspirants mostly.
I hope that I was able to include most of the important things of this course and if needed I'll update this post in the future! :')
Overall I'll say that this course is worth it? It'll definitely improve your VARC skills and understanding if you follow it religiously. As I have said... This course is not just about VARC but there are many many things in it and it'll turn out to be helpful overall! 🩵 Do share this review with your friends and other aspirants! 😼
All the best with your prep! If you have anything to add about the course or your opinions then feel free to drop it in the comments! ;')

WIBTA if I don't tell my inlaws we will be on vacation when they plan to visit?
I guess to set the stage, I'll (31M) just say that my wife's (Cami, 38F) parents have always been terrible people. When she graduted from high school, she went to college and only come home for short visits. Her relationship with her parents has always been strained. For me, in low doses, they are tolerable, and sometimes even funny (but they are the joke). When they would come to visit, they'd stay a week or more and act like our house was a B&B and they were on vacation. One time I asked them to take our son to school because I had some meetings and my MIL actually said that they were on vacation not here to run our errands and besides, Cami should be taking him to school because she's the mom (they are big on trad wife roles). The suposed point of their visits is to spend time with their grandson, but there was frankly little of that. He'd come home from school and they'd say hi, but go back to watching NewsMax and the WWII channel. After their last visit, I told my wife that the next time they should stay in a hotel. I work from home and they have no boundaries or respect for others.
All fun and games when dealing with family, but recently, they finally went too far and my wife went no contact with them. We were having a marital issue and she moved out for a few weeks. Once they found out, they took it to a whole different level and it went from classic over the top trad wife roles/religious hypocrite/ boomers being fools nonsense to vicious. When she stopped answering their calls/texts/emails, they started in on me. I've only responded once, telling them that they were in the wrong and need to appologize to their daughter and they can't use me to do an end around. I haven't told them that we've reconciled and my wife is back home, but even if she was a hated ex, I would not let these fools use me to bypass her.
Cami and I have planned a family vacation and one of the recent emails from my inlaws stated that they intend to just show up uninvited. As it turns out, it will be while we are gone. They want to see their grandson and because they think we are still separated, stated that Cami wouldn't even have to know. Do I break the NC and tell them that we won't be there? It seems cruel to let them come and knock on the door and not even know that we are gone. On the other hand, it's pretty presumptious to just demand a visit and tell me when (and not ask if that works for us). I also feel like if I respond, I'll be opening the door and they would just demand to come some other time. To me, this is a problem they need to solve with their daughter.
Additional info1: I have security cameras, a ring door bell, an alarm system, and a nosey neighbor. I've also removed their code from the electronic locks. I'll know if they show up.
In the end, to contact them or not is my wife's call. I'm just getting ready for the conversation.

36F, 5’11 198lbs POTS syndrome diagnosis, it is not severe at all.
40mg fluoxetine and 150mg bupropion xl daily, plus Zyrtec and women's multivitamin. No recreational drug use, very occasional alcohol use (a couple beers only, never liquor or wine). Non smoker. 3-4 cups of coffee a day, no other beverages aside from plain water or the occasional sparkling water.
I came down with a very nasty head cold shortly after recovering from mastitis from milk congestion after weaning my 17 month old. I had Sudafed leftover because the doc had suggested taking a dose or two to assist in lactation suppression.
While trying to keep up with my spunky toddler and busy schedule, over the course of 2 days in addition to my usual meds, I took several doses of Sudafed. My post nasal drip caused a cough that was keeping me up all night, so l added delsym to it. I foolishly overlooked the fact that it was a 12 hour dose, and probably took 5-6 doses over the course of 2 days.
The night before last around 11pm, out ot nowhere, I felt practically drunk. Very loopy, warm, and fuzzy. Was reading on my laptop and had to put it away because I was starting to struggle to understand anything I read. Went to bed. Woke up coughing at 4am, took a dose of delsym in my unending genius. Back to sleep until my toddler woke up around 7. Woke up with the intention of getting him from his crib, fell over on the way. Intense vertigo. I was stuttering and having trouble speaking properly. I was super confused. Sweating my butt off. Husband stayed home from work and I rested up. Couldn't sleep though- I felt positively wired. Would occasionally nod off then full body jerk/startle myself awake. Had a very brutal day and night last night, it was all very jarring and unpleasant.
Am I crazy to think this may have been very mild seratonin syndrome? I took my regular meds as usual yesterday because I had no idea what was going on with me, but now I'm pretty apprehensive about taking my SSRI.
Honestly , I’m feeling pretty gun-shy about all meds right now. I know that's an overreaction and I caused this by taking way too many meds, and the specific ones I took shouldn't be mixed...out of desperation to keep up with my life despite being sick and needing rest.
But I really don't want to ever feel what I felt over the last ~36 hours again.
l've been wanting to come off my fluoxetine for quite some time but planned on asking my doc to taper me off. But now I can't imagine willfully taking an SSRI any time soon. So knowing and fully understanding that cold turkey is not an ideal way of stopping SSRI meds, can anyone tell me vaguely what I can expect and maybe suggest mitigation tactics that are not drug-related?
Thanks in advance. Sorry for the long rambling. Still not feeling 100% normal. And for laypeople who have read this far... please do not make the mistake I made of thinking OTC drugs are benign in nature. I'l never be so careless about what I put in my body again.

I'm British 34F, 156cm and maintain around 16% body fat. Eat a high protein and fibre diet, avoid eating UPF. No other medical conditions, never been to hospital before and usually slather white tiger balm or patches on my forehead for headaches.
I moved from Japan to SE Asia temporarily for work. After being here for 2.5 months I was getting the worst headaches of my life when my wisdom teeth started coming through. The headaches were concentrated above my left eye and blurred my vision in my left eye.
I went to a dentist within an English speaking hospital who said my wisdom teeth were fine but they recommended I went to the onsite pharmacy due to the headaches. They gave me 8/500mg co-codamol (effervescent tablets) and wrote 'Max 3 per day' on the packet in English.
I took 1 a day for the first 4 days, none of the 5th and 6th days and then took 1 a day for the following 4 days. 8 within 10 days.
The morning after I took the last tablet I woke up with jaundice - eye whites, face, chest, abdomen and arms. I also had diarrhoea, sore throat, lots of spots on my lower face, a different type of headache that felt more like swelling on the top of my head, feeling dizzy whenever I sat up/down and very fatigued.
I went to a different hospital and paid for a blood, kidney and liver test and was told it came back on the high side of normal. They said the dose I took wasn't consistent with my symptoms and I may be sensitive to paracetamol and may have Gilbert's syndrome. They said to come back if the jaundice worsened or I started feeling pain in my abdomen - thankfully neither happened.
It's now 8 days since I took the last tablet and I still have a hint of jaundice, it has gone down though and my skin is usually very cool toned. I still feel extremely tired, I usually exercise most days (rowing and weights) but at the moment my thighs and calfs feel exhausted after walking up 3 flights of stairs.
Do I need to do anything else/seek more medical attention? Will this damage my liver in the longterm? I'm here for another 6 weeks. Excuse the throwaway, a bit too personal for my main.

hey all. like the title says i've been on lamictal for 2+ years. (almost exactly 2.5 years). i've only experienced anxiety a few times since starting the medication. however, it's been becoming more regular the past two weeks. the feeling has been the same as the anxiety i had before beginning the medication.
although, i am going through some pretty huge life changes - - my boyfriend and i became long distance last week - before my boyfriend got together (we've only been together ~4 months) i already had the plan to quit my job and move abroad to teach english for a year - i'm quitting my job in two weeks and im currently getting all my documents ready for me appointment with the country's embassy to get approved for my visa - in the meantime of quitting my job & moving abroad, im going home to spend two months in a household where my mom (definitely) has undiagnosed bipolar, and my step dad shows clear and strong signs he is a narcassist. i'm not diagnosing them, but they both have pretty clear signs. my step dad is also a raging alcoholic
so perhaps the anxiety makes sense at this time. but has anyone else experienced it coming back after over two years on the medication?

I was prescribed lamictal for mood disorder. I tried effexor and zoloft back in 2010/2013. Zoloft made me angry and effexor made me clench my jaw. After that I just said forget meds. Skip to 10 years later and I'm going to try again. Unfortunately, my anxiety about pills is making it hard. I keep telling myself it'll be okay. We're starting small son if something happens it won't be too severe. I get moments where I feel super hopeful and then moments of dread about taking my 1st dose. Please give me positive feedback.

Having trouble with big feelings lately.
Big sad, big mad, not too much big happy. I'm on anti depressants, and it definitely helped to stabilize the small ones, but I feel I get stuck in my mind. I go into loops, just around and around and around until I start getting super angry or super sad.
I had a few examples in the last 24 hours. I was cleaning the kitchen and I was just replaying a potential argument I would get into with my roommate and I kept thinking of ways to insult her because of her laziness with cleaning around the house. I was in my head for about 20 minutes while mopping, just getting increasingly more and more mad.
Same thing with my work shift. I was thinking about my sister and how angry I was at her for the way she hurt me in the past and the fact I'll be seeing her again soon. Just constantly thinking about what I was gonna say.
A coworker who I really bonded with as a friend decided to keep things from me in a huge situation I have going on right now. I heard him talking about it to another coworker and I felt seriously betrayed by him, especially considering I asked him if he knew anything and he declined.
Is this something I should go to therapy for, or maybe I should up my dose? I've tried journaling, but I don't even realize I have these thoughts until the damage has been done, where I'm in a shitty mood and I feel nauseous with all the thinking I've done. I've had some pretty terrible experiences with therapy, and frankly can't afford it with some new lifestyle changes I've made.
My body is constantly tight and I physically hurt because of the mental strain. I've been exercising, going to a chiropractor, and getting massages every once in a while but I feel like it's a way to cope, not solve the problem.
Anything helps. Like I said, I'm trapped in my own mind and I'm struggling with coming up with solutions.

So I’m about 3.5 weeks post-op from having an orange-sized benign cyst removed from an ovary (the ovary survived). Given its size it had to be removed from a 3 inch abdominal incision instead of laparoscopically, and it was expected that things would be weird for a while given my organs needed to kind of fall back into place after being squished, and of course my body got thrown off by pain relievers and anesthetic etc.
I have IBS-C like 90% of the time (diarrhea makes a surprise appearance occasionally) which I manage fairly well if I stay on top of my miralax and colace regimen and avoid trigger foods/overeating. Obviously in the days immediately after surgery it was not great thanks to the opioids, as I did take all 12 prescribed pills of oxycodone over 4 days because I was in a decent amount of pain (having abdominal muscles cut is no joke). A double dose of miralax and a couple glasses of prune juice got things moving albeit uncomfortably.
However, around week 2 of my recovery, I was doing pretty well — eating normally and having normal bathroom habits (for me anyway). But I guess something(?) happened during week 3 and I’ve taken a turn for the worse, despite not really changing much in my routine.
I’m having some symptoms I usually don’t have: - reduced appetite 24/7 - bowel/gas pain during a meal, not just after - bowel movements where I feel constipated but what comes out is Bristol type 5 - tons of stomach gurgling and gas that is mostly unresponsive to anti-gas and acid reducer medication - dull headaches (but no fever) - lower back pain that comes and goes - keep waking up sweatier than is typical.
I’m used to feeling bloated but not used to my bowel movements being so soft and in small amounts at the same time.
Has anyone else had any whacked out digestion in weeks following a procedure? It was only day surgery, and I didn’t take any antibiotics following the surgery. I’ve been off opioids for almost 3 weeks. I will say I might have overdone it with ibuprofen as I was taking it prescription strength daily for close to 3 weeks, but I haven’t had any for about 5 days now and don’t feel any better other than my headaches being less severe. I also thought it might be caused by my period but it ended 2 days ago and I am still having unusual gut symptoms.
Basically wondering if this has occurred with anyone else and if so what did you do? I was hoping to try some things on my own first since my bills from the hospital are really piling up and more doctor visits this month would be financially difficult. I have called my GYN but they were dismissive and said come back in a month if it gets worse.
Part of me wonders if it’s pelvic floor dysfunction? But would that cause gas? I don’t know. Could the ibuprofen have wrecked my whole GI tract?

Link for all the chapters available here: Engines of Arachnea on Royal Road
“That’s strange,” Exar said a minute later, “I’m not picking up any of the satellite constellations. If it was just one of them knocked out, I’d put it down to a scheduled maintenance. But all of em? Fishy, that’s what it is.”
“I don’t understand,” Rene’s spirits plummeted at the news. He should have known it wouldn’t be so easy.
“Me neither, chief. But take it easy!” Exar assured him, “There’s an easy fix for that. Just hike me up someplace with better reception. Any place where we can get above all these damn trees is good.”
“I’m afraid that’s not exactly an option, noble Exar.”
Rene briefly summarized the situation, filling in the details whenever Exar interrupted him with a question, which was not often.
“Got it,” Exar said after listening attentively, “In short, you’ve got a tribe of devolved humanoids on your tail, also infected by the same parasitoids as our young miss over here. Comms are down, and our closest exfil point is at least thirty-nine klicks due southeast, where our friends, ‘the Fleet’, will be waiting for you.”
“How did you measure the distance so precisely?” Rene asked.
“The T.O.R.U. you were piloting is currently in power cycling mode, but it’s still sending out its mayday message for the repair crews. Judging by the fact that it ejected us via safety pod, the unit must’ve suffered potentially catastrophic damage to its subsystems. Not to worry, though. My inbuilt Geiger counter just gave the all-clear, so there was no meltdown in the reactor core.”
“The most pressing issue is that you have less than 72 hours’ worth of fungicidal doses left, and nothing with which to defend yourself but the monomachete from your kit. In addition, this young lady—”
“Zildiz,” Rene supplied him.
“My bad—Zildiz. I like it, very exotic. Zildiz belongs to a culture which behaves aggressively towards Exodus Industries development projects here on the ground. That everything?” Exar briskly concluded.
Rene nodded. Exar then immediately began outlining a plan of action. Their first priority was to gain altitude and establish communication with ‘Exodus Industries’, an entity which Rene assumed was the ancestor-gods’ equivalent to Fleet Command.
Exar would then signal for help using the spinning bowl (which it referred to as an ‘allcomm antenna’) and an interstellar shuttle would be sent to transport them to the one of the moons.
The moons! Rene was giddy at the prospect of becoming the first man to have returned to mankind’s celestial origin. He tried not to get his hopes too high, however, knowing life’s avowed fondness for ruining every dream a man ever had.
Failing that, Exar would use the high vantage point to triangulate their position using nearby geographic landmarks. Once they had their bearings, it would be a simple matter of hiking over to the nearest hardened base and knocking on the airlock doors.
“I must say, you’re taking all this bad news remarkably in stride, wise Exar,” he told the beeping sphere.
“Oh, puh-leeze! This ain’t my first rodeo, pardner. We E.X.A.R. units have dealt with far worse in our time.”
“Really? Worse than Arachnea?”
“Oh, is that what the kids are calling this place these days? Sure is catchier than 65 Syngman Bb, lemme tell ya. But yeah, this here is nuthin.”
Exar chuckled, a child amused by the backwardness of his senile grandparents.
“Alien plague strains from the thawed-out heart of an asteroid. Cosmophage armadas unleashed by rogue A.I. Not to mention all those privateer raids on the fringes of Pact space. We’ve dealt with them all, helped people survive through the worst the galaxy can throw at them. And with 95% success rate, too, if I may add,” Exar said somewhat immodestly, “Anywho, that’s enough of me jawing. Let’s go mobile, chief.”
“What, right now?”
“The mist’s our best shot, bo-sing. Natural concealment. No telling how long it’ll last.”
Before they left, Rene had Exar explain the functions of all the tools in the kit. The sphere confirmed what Rene had suspected: the slate fed on the radiance of the suns. Exar called it a ‘solar cell panel’. In turn, the pronged cords attached to the solar cell could transfer energy to artefact he wanted to use.
He connected the panel to the mysterious gauntlet with the underslung pipe, which Exar informed him was a ‘laser designator’, a tool meant for guiding in airdropped supplies or flying machines.
“It also doubles as a heat source. Just up the wattage on that sucker with the slide wheel on the edge of the hand. See it?”
Rene put on the gauntlet and activated it by means of a green switch under the thumb. A tight needle of red light shone from the tube, and Rene understood that it was basically like the electrochemical torches that miners used. When he adjusted the slide wheel the needle of light narrowed and grew brighter. Where it touched the granite walls of the burrow there, sour-smelling wisps of smoke rose.
Hot enough to scorch stone? He would have to be careful where he pointed this.
“Go easy on it, though,” Exar advised him, “That kinda power output will drain the juice in a jiffy.”
“The juice?” Rene repeated stupidly.
Exar made it clear to him that the artefacts could store ‘the juice’ from the panel. Moreover, the panel could be mounted on the front or the back of the jumpsuit by means of the same backpack rigging that held the breathing apparatus, allowing the user to collect the juice and charge up to two devices (Exar included) even while on the move. Even the bulky survival kit could be could be fastened to his loadout with a set of clasps at the bottom of the pack which Rene hadn’t noticed.
“As for me, I can hitch a ride on your backpack as well,” Exar told him brightly. And indeed, there was a spherical indentation above the breathing apparatus where Exar could fasten himself in with his stubby spike legs.
Rene whistled appreciatively at the compact nature of the jumpsuit’s design; the entire survival kit was so cleverly put together, a testament to the ancestor-gods’ practical mindset.
He secured his gear, choosing to split the juices between Exar and the gauntlet, and got ready to leave. Rene crouched at the hatch of the burrow like a man in a trench waiting for the shrill whistle that would propel him up and over into the desolate no-man’s land.
Then he noticed Zildiz still huddled in place, not even daring to look at him or the talking sphere. Rene had originally been grateful that Exar’s appearance had shut her up, but this state of catatonic shock of hers worried him.
“Coming?” he asked her.
“I’m not going anywhere with that…that thing!” she stated categorically.
“Was it something I said?” Exar sounded hurt.
“The simulacrum said it would cut me out of my exomorph. That would kill me, Fleet-man.”
“Madame, I got no intention of hurting you!” Exar protested, “But the fact is, you’re sick. The parasite’s attached to so many of the organs in your body, that I fear that it’s totally coopted their functions. Our people have the technology to reverse all that.”
“I will not heed the promises of a slaved intelligence!” she snapped.
Their argument was interrupted by a chorus of hair-raising screams from the jungle beyond. Even in those guttural, inhuman voices there was no mistaking the notes of grief and rage.
“They’ve found Kryptus,” Rene surmised, “Just like you said they would.”
“I take it the natives are restless,” Exar tittered nervously, “Tailo, methinks we gotta go.”
Rene saw Zildiz hesitate, weighing the balance of her fears and forming an internal consensus. He made a move to tip the scales in his favor, and spoke to her from the heart:
“Zildiz. I swear to you that as long as it is within my power to protect you, I will not allow you to come to harm. You are a prisoner of penultimate importance to the Fleet. I’d sooner die than fail in my mission to get you back to civilization. If you doubt my intentions, consider the fact that nobody in their right minds would’ve tried so hard to keep you alive, not unless they have very good reasons to do so.”
“I am not like the Leapers or your people, the Gallivants. I am a soldier of the Fleet, and my priority is the continuation of my species—our species,” he added firmly, “Now, I can’t begin to imagine what horrors and depravities your kind have suffered these past few centuries, or what the Vitalus has taught you to believe. But in my mind, we are all one people under the same god. If that god is the Vitalus, then it is clear that he hates us. Why else would he, in all his supposed omnipotence, condemn us to live in this unending state of warfare and ignorance? Why does he forbid the full use of the human intellect, the sole source of our comfort and security in an uncaring universe? Why must he despise us so?”
“I don’t know the answers to those questions. But I do know this: I do not hate you, Zildiz of the Gallivants. In fact, I would very much like to help you. Will you let me do that?”
Rene stood up and lifted the hatch, turning to offer her a hand.
“Besides! If you come with me, we can go ask the gods in person.”
This is certainly new, Zildiz thought, unsure of what to make of Rene’s offer. His suggestion of a pan-kindred alliance bound together by their shared ancestry was ridiculous, of course. She knew enough of the mathematical models and the general principles of nature to know that such an undertaking was doomed by definition. And yet here was an opportunity unlike any other.
Rene meant to take her to one of the last remaining holdfasts of the Betrayers. Who would have thought that those ancient demons were still clinging on to life, lurking in some nameless abyss, waiting for their chance to wreak one final act of vengeance upon an unsuspecting Arachnea.
And here she was, uniquely placed to destroy them all in one fell stroke. Once she was nestled in that abode of evil, a single transmission from her magnetosynaptic organ to the Vitalus was all it would take to bring Its righteous fury down upon them.
The rewards would be immense. At the very least they would make her a Matriarch. Her gilt helix would live on forever in the generations to come, her legacy enshrined in the undying architecture of the genome. Her children would never go hungry or cold for the rest of their lives. She and her brood could have their pick of exomorph grafts.
Infrared eyes for night stalking, hypo thorax stabilizer tendons for prolonged flight, extra waste ducts, subdermal heat signature regulators, biochemical afterburners to add thrust, not to mention a whole slew of offensive weaponry—nothing would be off the table!
All she had to do was take Rene’s hand.
She did. The Fleet-man lifted her up out of the burrow, trying not to look too surprised at her acceptance.
A very naïve race, she decided. He caught her calculating gaze and must have mistaken it for the beginnings of friendship, for he said:
“Glad to have you aboard, Zildiz. Now let’s get the hell out of here.”
Link for all the chapters available here: Engines of Arachnea on Royal Road

Hi all,
Looking for some advice ☺️ From the UK here.
Background: Suffered with panic disorder, GAD and anxiety induced depression for ten years but was medicated well with SSRI Sertraline. Unfortunately, somebody spiked my drink last march and I suffered from mild serotonin syndrome (SS). I had to cold turkey the Sertraline to save my life and when I reinstated a week later after I recovered from SS it never worked the same way again. I have tried 6 SSRIs/SNRIs/pregablin since and they work for a week or two and then I have a serotonin toxicity reaction and get pulled off them cold turkey. This was all done by my general doctor and not a psychiatrist. Unfortunately I ended up in the emergency department a month ago due to the awful side effects and SI I had after a bad reaction to cymbalta. This was stopped cold turkey again after taking it for a week.
I believe this is where my aka started. It’s more mental that physical as I do not need to pace but I have the severe sense of dread and terror X10000 compared to the anxiety and panic I used to deal with. I am also incredibly irritable with dark obsessive thoughts which has led me to want to jump out my skin and I can relate to a lot of you on here.
I was assigned a consultant psychiatrist who prescribed me quetiapine. I was taking this at night to help me sleep and in the day to manage my anxiety and sense of dread. It worked to a certain extent as it just sedated and zombified me. I suffered with extrapyramidal symptoms such as tremor and urinary retention/bloating so my dose is down to just 50XR release at night to help me sleep and I will be coming off this soon (I am wanting to go down to 25mg to wean myself off but consultant doesn’t believe that’s needed). I am now on Lamictal {Lamotrigine and have been taking 25mg for 6 days now. I feel like it’s made my anxiety worse and I’m taking small amount of diazepam (max 2mg bd) to help me through.
It’s obvious that I have been completely polydrugged and have had severe reactions to serotonin re uptake inhibitors which I have been pulled off cold turkey which has made everything a lot worse. My CNS is now in haywire and I am having constant adrenaline dumps creating terror and fear which has led me to be petrified of being alone or going to the shops etc where I am now a hermit living back with my parents. I’m grateful I have a supportive network.
I am now really struggling with the inner aka and it is completely debilitating. However, I am thankful that I don’t have the physical symptoms as I can’t begin to imagine the pain some of you are going through with that.
I have a meeting with the psychiatrist on Friday and want to explain that I believe I have inner aka and want to be treated for this and come off the quetiapine and lamictal. I’m afraid they will gaslight me and want to prescribe more drugs (his next option was ablify which is a huge no go after reading on here and doing my research). What I want to know is:

• if you suffer with inner aka only, how did you manage to convince your psych that this is what you have and that the drugs are doing more damage?
• if they gaslight you, how do you cope with that?

I’m planning on writing down how I’m feeling today to have as notes in the meeting but I’m terrified that they will just say it’s anxiety and want to prescribe me ablify which I will refuse.
Any help or guidance on how to engage with psychs about this inner aka would be much appreciated.

I currently take 300mg, and I started lamictal around three years ago. I do rapid cycle but 300mg seems like a lot to me since I am type 2 and would say I haven’t had a severe episode in a long time, at least since I got to 150mg. It just seems my psychiatrist will raise the dose too readily, and now I’m a bit worried I’ll become desensitized to lamictal over time and will have to find something else.
I also take 150mg wellbutrin and 20mg prozac.

I spend a lot of time researching how our nervous system works and what may contribute to the development of Visual Snow and other symptoms. Remember that there is a lot of vital information that I do not know, and may greatly benefit our understanding of this condition. Visual snow is described as an "epileptic" firing in the visual system in the brain. (Tinnitus behaves very similarly but it is occurring in the auditory nerves) NMDA glutamate receptors, which are overexpressed after excitotoxic injury may well be the trigger of an increased spontaneous firing in the nerves. In turn, the brain would decode this increased firing as "visual snow" The idea is that remaining nerve endings have been damaged enough to overexpress NMDA Glutamate receptors, thus increasing their spontaneous firing.There are various factors that contribute to the development of this condition. Everybody first had an initial trigger, and this varies from person to person. Common causes include stress, trauma, recreational and prescription drugs, Lyme, mold, heavy metals, and other toxic exposures. But what they all result in is brain injury and neuronal damage. The severity varies from person to person. The consequences of such injury doesn't just cause break in communication between healthy neurons, but a cascade of events that can lead to further neuronal degeneration and cell death. That is where visual snow comes in. Think of a broken radio or a TV where it isn't able to receive and process incoming signals so the outcome is a lot of visual/auditory noise. Our brains behave in a similar manner when there is an interference with proper neuron function and communication.Another good example is a type of neuropathic pain called paresthesia where you experience tingling and pricking sensations in various parts of your body. When nerves are damaged, they can't communicate properly and that miscommunication causes symptoms such as pain, tingling or numbness.Medical researchers searching for new medications for visual snow often look to the connection between the nerve cells in the brain and the various agents that act as neurotransmitters, such as the central nervous system's primary excitatory neurotransmitter glutamate. Visual snow can be caused when damaged brain cells emit an excess of glutamate. Many treatments use ingredients that work as glutamate antagonists, or inhibitors. Communication between nerve cells in the brain is accomplished through the use of neurotransmitters. There are many compounds that act as neurotransmitters including acetylcholine, serotonin, GABA, glutamate, aspartate, epinephrine, norpinephrine and dopamine. These chemicals attach to nerve cells at specific receptors that allow for only one type of neurotransmitter to attach.Some of the neurotransmitters are excitatory; leading to increased electrical transmission between nerve cells. Others are inhibitory and reduce electrical activity. The most common excitatory neurotransmitters are glutamate and aspartate while the primary inhibitory neurotransmitter is GABA. It is necessary for excitatory and inhibitory neurotransmitters to be in balance for proper brain function to occur.Communication over synapses between neurons are controlled by glutamate. When brain cells are damaged, excessive glutamate is released. Glutamate is well known to have neurotoxic properties when excessively released or incompletely recycled. This is known as excitotoxicity and leads to neuronal death.Excess glutamate opens the sodium channel in the neuron and causes it to fire. Sodium continues to flow into the neuron causing it to continue firing. This continuous firing of the neuron results in a rapid buildup of free radicals and inflammatory compounds. These compounds attack the mitochondria, the energy producing elements in the core of the neuron cell. The mitochondria become depleted and the neuron withers and dies.Excitotoxicity has been involved in a number of acute and/or degenerative forms of neuropathology such as epilepsy, autism, ALS, Parkinson’s, schizophrenia, migraines, restless leg syndrome, tourettes, pandas, fibromyalgia, multiple sclerosis, Huntington's, seizures, insomnia, hyperactivity, OCD, bipolar disorder and anxiety disorders.(Doctors use two basic ways to correct this imbalance. The first is to activate GABA receptors that will inhibit the continuous firing caused by glutamate. The second way to correct the imbalance is use antogonists to glutamate and its receptor N-methyl-d-aspartate (NMDA). These are termed glutamate or NMDA antagonists. By binding with these receptors, the antagonist medication reduces glutamate-induced continuous firing of the neuron. This explains why some drugs like clonazepam and lamictal are able to help relieve symptoms in some patients. They help reduce excitatory action in the brain temporarily)Anxiety, depression, brain fog, depersonalization, visual disturbances (including visual snow, palinopsia, blue field entoptic phenomenon, photophobia, photopsia) headaches, tinnitus, are all common symptoms associated with increased excitatory activity in the brain. Excessive glutamate is the primary villain in visual snow.I strongly believe there are some genetic components that play a huge role in the development of Visual Snow and makes some individuals more susceptible to developing it. Normally, glutamate concentration is tightly controlled in the brain by various mechanisms at the synapse. There are at least 30 proteins that are membrane-bound receptor or transporter proteins at, or near, the glutamate synapse that control or modulate neuronal excitability. But in Visual Snow sufferers, my hypothesis is that we carry a faulty gene that results in dysregulation of the proteins that control and regulate glutamate excitability. They are unknown as more research will be needed.We live in a society where we are stressed emotionally, financially, physically and exposed to a range of toxins in our environment. Combining underlying genetic susceptibility with these other factors creates all the ingredients for a perfect storm.Stress + Infectious Agents (if any) + Toxins + Genetic Susceptibility = Health ConditionIncluded below is a list of things that can lead to excitotoxicity. The list includes trauma, drugs, environmental, chemicals and miscellaneous causes of brain cell damage. (Keep in mind everybody's bodies behave and react differently to various substances)-Severe Stress (Most people that are stressed out don’t realize that once the fight-or-flight response gets activated it can release things like cortisol and epinephrine into the body. Although these boost alertness, in major concentrations, the elevated levels of cortisol over an extended period of time can damage brain functioning and kill brain cells)-Free Radicals – Free radicals are highly-reactive forms of oxygen that can kill brain cells and cause brain damage. If the free radicals in your brain run rampant, your neurons will be damaged at a quicker rate than they can be repaired. This leads to brain cell death as well as cognitive decline if not corrected. (Common causes are unhealthy diet, lifestyle and toxic exposure)-Head Trauma (like concussion or contusion) MRI can detect damaged brain tissue BUT not damaged neurons. -Dehydration (severe)-Cerebal Hypoxia-Lyme disease-Narcolepsy-Sleep Apnea-Stroke-Drugs (recreational or prescription) -Amphetamine abuse-Methamphetamines-Antipsychotics-Benzodiazepine abuse-Cocaine-Esctasy -LSD-Cannabis-Tobacco-Inhalants-Nitrous Oxide-PCP-Steroids-Air Pollution-Carbon Monoxide-Heavy Metal Exposure (such as lead, copper and mercury)-Mold Exposure-Welding fumes-Formaldehyde-Solvents-Pesticides-Anesthesia-Aspartame-MSG (Monosodium Glutamate is found in most processed foods and is hidden under many various names)-Solvents-Chemotherapy-Radiation-Other toxic exposuresInside the Glutamate StormBy: Vivian Teichberg, and Luba Vikhanski"The amino acid glutamate is the major signaling chemical in nature. All invertebrates (worms, insects, and the like) use glutamate for conveying messages from nerve to muscle. In mammals, glutamate is mainly present in the central nervous system, brain, and spinal cord, where it plays the role of a neuronal messenger, or neurotransmitter. In fact, almost all brain cells use glutamate to exchange messages. Moreover, glutamate can serve as a source of energy for the brain cells when their regular energy supplier, glucose, is lacking. However, when its levels rise too high in the spaces between cells—known as extracellular spaces—glutamate turns its coat to become a toxin that kills neurons.As befits a potentially hazardous substance, glutamate is kept safely sealed within the brain cells. A healthy neuron releases glutamate only when it needs to convey a message, then immediately sucks the messenger back inside. Glutamate concentration inside the cells is 10,000 times greater than outside them. If we follow the dam analogy, that would be equivalent to holding 10,000 cubic feet of glutamate behind the dam and letting only a trickle of one cubic foot flow freely outside. A clever pumping mechanism makes sure this trickle never gets out of hand: When a neuron senses the presence of too much glutamate in the vicinity—the extracellular space—it switches on special pumps on its membrane and siphons the maverick glutamate back in.This protective pumping process works beautifully as long as glutamate levels stay within the normal range. But the levels can rise sharply if a damaged cell spills out its glutamate. In such a case, the pumps on the cellular membranes can no longer cope with the situation, and glutamate reveals its destructive powers. It doesn’t kill the neuron directly. Rather, it overly excites the cell, causing it to open its pores excessively and let in large quantities of substances that are normally allowed to enter only in limited amounts.One of these substances is sodium, which leads to cell swelling because its entry is accompanied by an inrush of water, needed to dilute the surplus sodium. The swelling squeezes the neighboring blood vessels, preventing normal blood flow and interrupting the supply of oxygen and glucose, which ultimately leads to cell death. Cell swelling, however, is reversible; the cells will shrink back once glutamate is removed from brain fluids. More dangerous than sodium is calcium, which is harmless under normal conditions but not when it rushes inside through excessively opened pores. An overload of calcium destroys the neuron’s vital structures and eventually kills it.Regardless of what killed it, the dead cell spills out its glutamate, all the vast quantities of it that were supposed to be held back by the dam. The spill overly excites more cells, and these die in turn, spilling yet more glutamate. The destructive process repeats itself over and over, engulfing brain areas until the protective pumping mechanism finally manages to stop the spread of glutamate."Recent research has confirmed that hypermetabolism has been primarily found in the right lingual gyrus and left cerebellar anterior lobe of the brain in individuals suffering from visual snow. The definition of hypermetabolism is described as "the physiological state of increased rate of metabolic activity and is characterized by an abnormal increase in metabolic rate." Hypermetabolism typically occurs after significant injury to the body. It serves as one of the body's strongest defence against illness and injury. This means that the brain is trying to compensate for the injured areas in the brain by increasing metabolism to meet it's high energy demands. It is trying to function to the best of it's ability under the circumstances. Normally the body can heal itself and regenerate under the right circumstances. But it is extremely difficult for the central nervous system - which includes the spinal cord and brain to be able to do so, due to it's inhibitory environment which prevents new neurons from forming. That is where stem cells come in. Stem cells are an exciting new discovery, because they can become literally any cell in the body including neurons. This is an amazing scientific breakthrough and has the potential to treat a whole host of conditions. Scientists are currently doing research and conducting trials.Excitotoxicity can trigger your "fight or flight" response, as this is the body's primary response to illness, injury or infection. If the brain and the body remain in the sympathetic fight or flight state for too long and too often, it is degenerative; it breaks us down. If this cycle continues, then eventually the system burns out. It is this cycle that results in autonomic nervous system dysfunction. The results are disastrous, digestion is shut down, metabolism, immune function and the detoxification system is impaired, blood pressure and heart rate are increased, circulation is impaired, sleep is disrupted, memory and cognitive function may be impaired, neurotransmitters are drained, our sense of smell, taste and sound are amplified, high levels of norepinephrine are released in the brain and the adrenal glands release a variety of hormones like adrenaline and cortisol.I believe in order to find a treatment or cure for VS and it's accompanying symptoms, we need to address the underlying cause, reduce the excess excitatory activity in the brain, repair the damaged neurons, regain proper communication between neurons, rebalance the autonomic nervous system and prevent further cellular damage. We also need to figure out what genes, if any come into play. There is still a lot we don't know about the brain because it is such an remarkably complex organ.FAQsWon't lowering the levels of glutamate solve the problem? Well, not necessarily. That is just one piece of the puzzle. You have to remember that Visual Snow is a multifactorial and complex condition in which it stems from a number of different causes and influences. Based on my knowledge and the information I have gathered, I can conclude that the overstimulation of glutamate plays a huge role in VS and some other symptoms we experience. But there is still so much we don't know. That's why more research will be needed.Why is my condition worsening over time?That is a very good question. It is because the physiology, biology and chemistry of your brain and nervous system has been altered and has become dysfunctional since the initial trigger set off a domino of effects that leads to further degradation in the body. This puts a huge strain on your body and is constantly activating your stress response system. This will wreak havoc on your entire body. The stress response system was designed to deal with brief emergencies that threaten survival. It isn't supposed to last very long because the body cannot sustain itself for very long in this state. When you remain in "fight or flight" sympathetic state for too long, it becomes degenerative and breaks our bodies down. This affects every system in the body. When you are constantly under stress, the stress response system never turns off resulting in an ongoing destructive cycle. Stress can also exacerbate all your symptoms and makes you susceptible to developing other chronic health conditions. How is the gut related to VS?Having increased intestinal permeability is very common in this modern world because we are constantly being bombarded by toxins and stress. Our bodies weren't designed to handle such a huge burden. So we end up getting sick and become susceptible to kinds of diseases. Common causes include:-Poor diet (from excessive consumption of foods such as grains, legumes, sugars, alcohol)-Chronic stress-Toxin overload-Gut dysbiosis (It means you have a lack of beneficial bacteria in your gastrointestinal (GI) tract. They are overpowered and outnumbered by pathogens such as pathogenic bacteria, yeast, viruses, parasites)-Overuse of antibiotics When you have increased intestinal permeability, the epithelium on the villi of the small intestine becomes inflamed and irritated, which allows metabolic, microbial and environmental toxins and undigested food particles to flood into the blood stream. This event compromises the liver, the lymphatic system, and the immune response including the endocrine system. It is often the primary cause of the following common conditions: asthma, food allergies, chronic sinusitis, eczema, urticaria, migraine, irritable bowel, fungal disorders, fibromyalgia, and inflammatory joint disorders including rheumatoid arthritis are just a few of the diseases that can originate from having poor gut health.This sets the stage for chronic systemic inflammation, oxidative stress, mitochondrial dysfunction, impaired detoxification, gastrointestinal dysfunction and immune system dysregulation.Some toxins have the ability to damage and destroy neurons, myelin sheaths, synapses and even DNA. An overload of toxins that the immune system is not able to get rid of disrupts normal brain function. This eventually initiates an autoimmune response where the immune system attacks the brain and nerve cells as it tries it’s best to eliminate the toxins.The mitochondria are the energy producing section of your cells. When they are damaged by the toxic overload in the brain cells and are not able to produce energy to fuel the cell, the cell dies.In order to stop this vicious cycle, the underlying biological mechanisms of VS needs to be understood. That is the first step that needs to be taken. Any other stressors also needs to be addressed in order to reduce the overall stress load.It is important to know that VS is just a symptom of underlying physiological stress in the brain. Symptoms are your body's way of communicating with you, letting you know something is wrong in the body.I've come across some research indicating that microglial activation and elevated nitric oxide is involved in some neurological conditions. Basically the microglial cells are our brain's immune cells and when something triggers an inflammatory response, they activate and release harmful neurotoxic compounds (such as nitric oxide and pro-inflammatory cytokines) which results in neuronal injury/death. Microglial activation can also result in a loss of synaptic connections in different regions of the brain. It's basically an autoimmune response in the brain. The neuroinflammatory process appears to be an ongoing and chronic cycle of central nervous system dysfunction. This can deplete glutathione levels in the body. Glutathione is the body’s most important antioxidant which is capable of preventing oxidative damage caused by reactive oxygen species such as free radicals, peroxides, lipid peroxides, and heavy metals. This only further exaggerates the problem, which only leads to a cascade of increased inflammation.Nitric oxide plays a vital role in this process. Elevated nitric oxide levels reduces and impair natural killer cells which leads to a vulnerable immune system that is susceptible to a variety of systemic infections. -Phobe Zhang

everyone’s been telling me to get it checked, and i agree that i should given my symptoms. however, many of my symptoms are caused by other health problems. the concern comes from the fact that they’ve gotten worse lately and are no longer responding to treatment. i also happen to have a genetic predisposition to hashimoto’s.
unfortunately, due to medical trauma it is completely impossible for me to have my blood tested. i have developed an uncontrollable reflex, which make placing and keeping the needle in me unsafe. i also don’t respond to benzodiazepines as they make me even more anxious.
it’s something i’m working on in therapy, but it would likely take years for me to process the trauma enough for this situation to become bearable. i also receive little to no understanding from most doctors. this is years of institutional abuse that i am trying to work through. i can also understand why trying varying doses of hrt until something helps could be dangerous, especially if i don’t actually have a problem with my thyroid. so, are blood tests the only way to diagnose thyroid problems?

I started LDN last night to help with the neuropathy I’ve started to get in my feet (but he’s also hoping it’ll help with my cfs, fibro, migraines, and GI issues), and I’m kind of worried because in everything I’ve read says you start low at like 1mg and then work your way up to 4.5mg….but my neurologist has me on 4.5mg right off the bat. Is that him being careless or is it really ok to start at 4.5mg?
After my first dose last night, I’ve had a low grade headache that feels different from the type of headaches I usually get, very thirsty, and my neuropathy actually got WORSE. It went from its usual light, all over pins and needles…to that PLUS more concentrated feelings of being stabbed in the nerves, which caused my feet to reflexively jump and spasm like crazy, as if being stimulated by electricity. It was pretty awful.
And I can’t even cut the pills in half because they’re capsules 😩
Edit: and now a few hours after posting, I feel truly awful, feeling like I have a flu coming on (I don’t go out anywhere to get the flu, I’m almost entirely housebound) with a sore swollen throat and post nasal drip. WTFFFFFFFF

I have been on 150XL for 1.5 years for depression. In the last week I decided I wanted to stop vaping and went to 0 nicotine. I had a doctors appointment yesterday and I expressed to him that life has been very hectic and high stressed. I also mention the want to stop vaping. He suggested for the next month to increase to 300XL(take 2 - 150XL once a day) and I will come back in for a follow up to see how I was doing. I have been reading the internet and I have seen a lot of 300XlL is high dose and can cause seizures. I did take 2- 150XL (300XL) yesterday early evening (when I typically take my meds) and I slept horrible because I kept waking up worrying about the stuff I had read before bed. I also have a slight headache. Can anyone tell me their experience? Any recommendation?

I knew had I PCOS and my husband and I are going into our late 30's. So when we started trying 3 months ago, I tried to do things ahead such as taking letrozole and hcg shots (twice already). It didn't work and it prompted us to have my husband get a sperm analysis - and he had low sperm count, motility... basically low in everything. I also took the HSSG test (which was very painful) and further found out I one of my tubes were blocked.
We started our first IUI and double dosed my letrozole (from 2.5 to 5 mg a day) and it was very very painful. I powered through it... and thankfully my prominent follicle was from the left side. We did the IUI procedure and was advised to still have contact in the next 2 days.
Then.. my husband couldn't do it. He seemed pressured and tired (bec of work), and while tried to do it, I had to ask him to stop bec it was just painful for me.
I was just so angry... I took all the meds and the ultrasounds, shots, tried to do everything by the book and I felt like he couldn't do his part. Like he himself didnt prepare the way I prepared.
I understand where he was coming from... but it just pains me. I'm just scared that we didn't maximize this round, and that it will fail... and the idea of doing it all again gives me so much fear. I don't want to talk to him because i might say things that are not right. Although, He has not even asked me about it - and just tells me to be positive.
I just feel so alone. What else can I do? This whole two week wait is also making me anxious!

We've been caring for a community cat at my grandmother's for almost 2 months. He's very sweet, lets us pet and hold him, and loves coming inside, but my grandmother's cat doesn't get along with him. We've looked after him since he was young, and he's over a year old now.
He's not feral, unlike the other two we're caring for there. One day, we found him with blood dripping from his neck. The ER vet diagnosed a cat bite abscess with fever and prescribed meds, requiring him to stay inside for 14 days. He also had diarrhea, which was diagnosed as Giardia—which we found out about ever since we brought him indoors at ur own house.
We've been treating him with meds through our primary vet with Metronidazole and he completed Pancur. Metronidazole liquid was a no go for 2 weeks because he kept spitting it out. Tablets have worked better in giving it to him. We're trying to resolve the Giardia and diarrhea first. We supervise him around our other indoor cats, but he doesn’t use the litter box correctly, so he uses pads instead.
He cries every night from 3am-7am. The vet said it's because he's used to being nocturnal, and prescribed Gabapentin 100mg every night, which helps but only gives him 4-5 hours of sleep. Recently, I've been giving him a half dose if he wakes up early. The vet said Gabapentin is safe long-term and can be tapered off, but the vet is not very concerned about the Giardia or Gabapentin.
We're keeping him inside until the Giardia is gone, supervising him to avoid litter box issues. Gabapentin sometimes doesn't work. I'm worried about long-term effects on his organs. I plan to move him to my apartment once repairs are done (weather stripping on ceiling from storm). Currently, he’s in a separate room at night. We try playing with him using toys, treats, catnip, and Feliway, but he's still wide awake before bed. I fear releasing him back outside where he might get hurt again or worse. He's so young and deserves better.
I’ve considered rehoming him but due to him being overly playful, I fear that he would repeatedly be rehomed or dropped off in the streets. It’s like he has ADHD :o
EDIT: my cats don’t mind him but also don’t want to play with him because he can be rough when playing. He’s very lean for a 1 year old. But he’s not aggressive either. My cats are between 3-16 years old! My 3 year old was like him when she was his age but not this hyper. She definitely has competition lol

Hi all, Male 40 - After 3 months on Sust250 (dosage: 125 mg p/w, dose was higher to start with) I was to lower my dose by 50% and add in hCG for 15 days. I was to take 1000 iu of hCG every 3 days for 15 days however I only got 3 doses out of the vial (instead of 5). That's 3 x .4 ml doses. I have run out I obviously didn't mix enough water into the vial initially. I don't think I wasted any. My question is should this suffice? so first hcG shot I took was last Wed, then the following Sat and I was going to take another today Tues but maybe I would be better holding off for a day or 3? Anyone any advice . The reason I added hCH was to keep the balls somewhat right in case I ever need to come off TRT (no immediate plans to come off)

My psychiatrist was supposed to review me because I've just started lamictal. He left and I have to accept my new psychiatrist but then I won't see him until the 20th of September. I'm afraid the lamictal will send me manic. I'm supposed to be trying to come off the quetiapine and going onto something else so I can wake up early enough to get to morning lectures as I'm going into my final year of university and my grades matter most then. I don't know what to do because if the lamotrigine triggers mania I won't be very aware of it and I don't want to go to hospital just because the lamotrigine has sent me manic. I'm tired of feeling like a zombie but at the same time I domt want to relapse. I really don't know what to do. I'm running out of my lamictal and I have to wait 72hrs for a new prescription... guessing that will be Friday and I'll be like ughh because I have volunteering that day now I might be late. I'm literally panicking. How am I supposed to start a new medication when I can't even see a doctor to talk about if it suits me and whether to add something else in. I haven't even got my anxiety under control and this is just making it worse. I honestly can't wait to go out tomorrow and buy myself a new build a bear and base it of a character from a british TV show... any advice? I felt like yelling at the receptionist but I didn't. She's nice but I wish My psychs wouldn't just leave me like this. No one even tells me when they leave. I'm just so tired of it. I dont know what to do. I'm gonna be out of lamictal for like 2 days then I'm hoping to get it increased a little bit to see if it will let me feel anything. I'm still on promethazine for anxiety which I'm trying to take as little as possible. I'm so stuck at this point. I'm not even sure what to do with myself. I kinda wanna get a service dog because at least then if I have another episode my dog should be able to tell me. Just as I was finally getting somewhere.... I don't even wake up to an alarm. Honestly what am I supposed to do?

TLDR: Went to AA to stop drinking, ended up picking up the idea of "being of service to God", completely obsessing over it, being basically full-time in service to AA and fucking my life up good and proper.
I did AA for 1.5 years, it worked - I didn't drink - but I ended up with some kind of "God Addiction" whereby I was wandering around in some kind of craziness where I was trying to do the "will of God".
I ended up completely fucking my life up and relapsing in a spectacular fashion.
More recently I found https://www.worldwidesecularmeetings.com/meetings (Secular AA), which doesn't involve God of any kind - and in these meetings I've met so many AA's that seem to understand what I went through and have what seems to me to be really simple & positive sobriety (which was much more rare to me in 'normal' AA). In the few meetings I've been to I can share about my addiction to God, my experiences in traditional AA, and I don't feel judgement. This has helped a lot.
Even though AA's traditions state non-alignment with religion, AA was a offshoot of the Oxford group - which was indeed a hyper-Christian movement (This is how the founders got sober). Christian theology, combined with new-age movement flows through the literature of AA. However I think that - at least for me - considering what the will of the 'higher power' has led to a greater degree of disconnection from the important things in my life: family, career, and solving the very practical problems I had. I was so engaged in AA that I excluded my entire life outside of AA, additionally I started doing service at a church on a Sunday. None of this was good for me, and the entire time I was feeling absolutely insane.
At this point in my life I'm actually recovering from the 'spiritual experience' that I had in AA, and actively trying to get my own obsessive idea of god out of my head that I developed while being a part of that group. The addiction to god for me was worse than my addiction to alcohol, and has completely upended my life and made it in every way unlivable. My friends and family could not recognise me and I lost everything.
Quoting from elsewhere on the Net:
"Someone who is addicted to God is using the concept as an escape from their own lives. The balance is off. Instead of seeking help, they dissolve into an idea that God is directing every thought and action in their lives. They want to be a puppet and destroy those very things that God values in independent human beings. One can admire and appreciate a doll, but just as we can only love a real person, God doesn’t ask us to be robots in his service, but real human beings.
The damage comes in the same way it arrives with other addictions. God addicts sacrifice their relationships, jobs and families in what they believe is service to a higher power. But it’s just as toxic and out of balance as any addiction. And just like other addictions, the obvious problems only seem to have one answer for the addict – increase the dose. Ever more is required to get them into the fantasy life. The answer is more prayer, or reading the Bible more, or striving ever harder to get the satisfaction and release of their own version of an enlightened state."
That was me. I do not wish the same for you.
I am still recovering from this experience, and over the last nine months only recently have I began to get my "new obsession" out of my head and start thinking normally about solving the practical problems of my new reality.
Of course, your experience may vary.