Hello all! I've been stalking this subreddit for the better part of two months trying to learn as much as possible. This has been so helpful and uplifting that I truly do feel like I'll feel better with time.
While I was only diagnosed a week ago I had suspected I had thyroid issues from the moment I started browsing here.
A few questions I still have though are regarding treatment.
Doctor prescribed levothyroxine 50mg. I have started taking it but as I do more research I'm starting to wonder if I should or should not take it at this time. Today marks the 4th day that I've taken it.
I've had blood work 3 times in the last 6 months.
In Nov TSH was 5.05 T4 was 1.2
In April TSH was 5.64 T4 was 1.0
A week ago TSH was 4.24 T4 not tested. TpoAb 442 Thyroglobulin 8
I understand the antibodies being present very likely indicate hashimotos. However my TSH levels were back within the "green" range on the mychart app.
Doctor wrote the prescription after the most recent panel.
Reviewing my current symptoms
I have a noticeable but not debilitating goiter. Seems to be getting worse lately. I felt cold today (it was 87 degrees outside but the AC inside was chilly). Then I started to feel super hot. Before taking the meds I used to have palpitations but they seem to have gone. I had overwhelming dread and anxiety but they seem to be gone too.
As I'm sure many of people are searching for answers I'm just trying to find out if these symptoms are common as I work towards balance or if I should be more concerned.
As with any autoimmune disease I want to make sure I'm not missing anything.
Thank you in advance!

I had to replace my OEM charger late last year and I noticed today that the sticker on the bottom of the after market charger has air bubbles from how hot its getting. I'm not sure if its a bad sticker or if its getting too hot. It's hot enough to be uncomfortable for me to hold for long time but its not burning me. I know these things are meant to run hot but I was wondering if there was any way to not have it run as hot. I have a ASUS ROG STRIX SCAR that was a newegg exclusive build that I have since upgraded ... A lot. I guess I'm just kinda worried. My floor is also carpet tho and the sticker is usually facing down into the carpet. I have no way to hold it up off the carpet because the cable from the brick to the laptop itself is not long enough. I guess I'm just looking for suggestions. Maybe some peace of mind that its not too hot. I've been running games all day so its been under a lot of use ... That could also be part of why its so hot ... (It also got to 85°F today if that makes any difference? We don't have an air conditioner yet)

I (16y) found out my boyfriend (18y) was cheating on me with my younger sister (14y).
It all goes back to when I was in high school. My family is very strict around the subject we call “love”. My parents didn’t allow me to date, not until I graduated from high school.
However, being a teen, I was a bit of a rebel. After I met my now ex, I instantly fell in love with his charm and stupid grin.
I didn’t want my parents to know so I dated him in secret from my family of five, her older brother (who, surprisingly, got to date BEFORE graduation), herself, and her younger sister.
One day, when I went out with my boyfriend, he would start to act very weird. He would guilt trip me, saying I was hiding the truth from my parents and making up lies about where I was.
I was confused…
I told him that if my parents knew, we couldn’t date so why was he pressing me telling them? He gaslighted me, saying he cared more for his family than I did. It appeared he wanted to break up with me. Perhaps he did, being a cheap cheater.
Around mid April 4 years ago, my phone buzzed at around 5 pm, a text message from my boyfriend. He said he was going to be on a “long vacation” with his family in some far away place.
I asked him if I could see him before he left, but he immediately said I was always nagging him and how I was too desperate.
A week later, after we had barely spoken, I saw his location at my house. I was coming back from a summer slumber party, which I had told both my family and my boyfriend about. I thought it was super strange and I texted him.
A minute later, his location was turned off and he didn’t respond back.

As soon as I got home, I went straight to my sister's room because my parents were out of town and my brother was running errands with his now fiancée.
My sister quickly opened the door and asked what was wrong. I asked if so and so had been here at the house.
My sister, looking very guilty, said she had not seen him.
My sister didn’t know it was my boyfriend, only that we were good friends. He had visited their house before and talked with my younger sister. I tried calling back, but he didn’t answer.
I texted one of his best friends, but NO RESPONSE.
Past forward a couple weeks later when my ex made a ENORMOUS mistake.
I was looking for popcorn for our movie night as a family, when my sister's phone rang. Being nosy, I looked to find it was a familiar number. I answered it to find out it was my boyfriend's voice. I immediately hung up.
I opened her phone ( it was too easy), and saw ALL their messages. He had been sending her selfies of himself and, he was also sending photos of himself at OUR DATES! The typical cheater type, saying he misses her and he wants to see her while he was on his “family vacation”.
I was heartbroken… he was my first boyfriend and I really did love him. But, I have no time for cheaters and, especially, no time for someone who cheats on my sister.
I don’t blame her, because she didn’t know he was my boyfriend. We can all be naive so, after watching the beautiful movie Pride and Prejudice, I took my sister aside and told her everything. We were both upset, but we both agreed to get our revenge.
I am grateful we both share petty minds.
My boyfriend had a very expensive Nintendo Switch in his bedroom that he basically lived on. ( which I gave him for his birthday)
He would cancel plans just to play on that thing (no offense to the gaming community). As my sister had him at our house while I said I was hanging out with my friends, but really I was his house.
The funniest part of it all was he left his room's window open and his Nintendo Switch right out for my grubby hands to take back. Probably going to give it to a more mature child.
Then, I took all the keyboard keys from his computer and hid them in random places, lost like his love for me.
Then I unplugged all of his appliances, even his air conditioner because he could be hot without me.
Then lastly I messed up his diet plan on the refrigerator door, listing all the calories he was supposed to have every day. If he can cheat on me and my sister, he can cheat on his diet.
I have to say, I love being petty. He tried calling me, but I blocked him.
Simple as that.
My sister said she was very sorry, saying they didn’t do anything. Our relationship is stronger and we now understand each other better.
Thanks to my ex, I have had a better life and I have graduated and found a perfect college, with an added boyfriend. Joke is on you.
I noticed on his social media that he hasn’t left home and he is still searching for a victim, which all girls have noticed because some reliable source warns them. My sister is finishing high school and hoping to become a therapist. Cheaters are never successful.

Soo, I'm pretty well just realizing how I've been emotionally neglected most of my life growing up. Not to mention the lack of respect my mom and sister have towards me anymore..
Tiny Background: My family has always been the "tough love" type of family. Didn't tell each other that we loved each other much, we just kinda knew we did. Didn't hear it from mom much.. never was the lovey dovey type of family with all the hugs and kisses and such. You fall over "ahhh, get up you're finee.." Never was emotionally open with each other.. if we were it somehow lead into some kind of argument.
Anywayyy...
A lot of the time growing up and even currently to this day I am deemed as the "sensitive" one. I cant take a "joke." So on and so forth.. Times I would come to my mom about things going on in my life and instead of the listening to me with support and understanding I was met with criticism or judgment. Anytime I would go to my sister to tell her things you should want to talk to your sister about and trust that she would keep in confidentiality she would break that trust and go to mom about whatever it was. And lately I have noticed that since moving out in 2020 that my family never really has checked up on me.. they don't even text to ask how I am doing, only time that I hear from them is if there is some family event that occurs in us having to talk and plan out whats going on, and who's coming or who is driving etc. Not only that but anytime I am with my family (mainly my mom and sister) I am suddenly the butt of the jokes that they make, usually including my dating life.
Most of the time I would be excited to tell my family about some new interest I have whether that be with someone new in my life or whatever new hobby I may have picked up. But it always would result in them laughing and claiming how apparently an ex of mine looked like my dad (my parents divorced when i was approximately 8yrs old) and laugh about how I have a type in the men I choose...
Something that pushed me over the edge this past 2023 family Christmas was a comment my sister made and then my mom chimed in with some other "joke"/hurtful comment. We were all playing Cards Against Humanity as we do most holidays and something about the card that I had pulled brought up the topic of my dating life.. and my sister brought up apparently having "daddy issues" and then my mom chimed in with her comment, I don't remember what she said because I was simply over here being stuck mentally about why tf my sister would make a "joke" like that, and they both were laughing about it. THAT HURT! I played the game for like 5 more mins and I said I was done and moved out of the way to sit across the room. Anyway as the day went on I was driving back home to my place from my moms since we had all carpooled at the time. And all I could think about was what my sister had said earlier that day and was bawling on the way home hurt by her "joke."
At that point I had told myself to never tell my family anything about my life that essentially had made me happy within my dating life. Cause all that they would do is "tease me" and make fun of my life and the people I was enjoying life with.
I will say that it hurts though.. cause I had dealt with this bs from my family my whole life, and to not feel safe in telling them personal things anymore has been more of a grieving process for me.
First it was my sister betraying my trust in telling her things I would think a sister would keep to herself, and continuing to even do so today. And then it was the fact that my sister and my mom now essentially team up against me anytime i see them just to make me feel like shit. Now anytime there is a family event all I can think is what bs are they gonna pull out of their asses to make fun of me this time?
I just never understood it.. why me?

So I was hospitalized for an attempted sewerslide and today I got out of the psych ward. I thought it was a good idea to go to school and see the friends who were concerned about me, right? Well none of my friends who I’ve been going to school with from 3-9 years said anything to me. Half of them didn’t even say hi. My best friend who I’ve known for almost a decade didn’t talk to me and she was the only one who knew that I tried to off myself. If y’all know what an FP is she’s also that for me so that makes it extra bad. I feel awful, they were all laughing and joking around me and I feel selfish for wanting attention idk man fuck.

I'm an altar server at my church, and have been for several years. Over time, I've encountered several different types of people, some nice, some not so nice, but this one takes the cake.
First Encounter: (Mid-summer, 2015) I'm enjoying a nice evening out, relaxing at a local casino, sitting at the sportsbook deli counter, watching baseball. I hear a voice to my right say "How's Dagwood?" (obviously not real name). I figure since I'm in a deli, it's someone asking about the sandwich of that name. Then, I get tapped on the shoulder, and there's a lady standing there. She asks, "You work at St. Anonymous church, right?" Well, no, I'm just an altar server, but whatever. She proceeds to clarify that she's inquiring about our associate pastor, Father "Dagwood." She hasn't seen him in several weeks, and wants to know if he's okay. He was on vacation. This was announced. I reassure her of his okayness, in fact I had even seen him earlier that day. She thanks me, moves on. Off-putting, due to her not calling him Father at first, but overall not too bad. If only it had remained that way.
Second Encounter: (Fall, 2015) I'm enjoying a nice evening out, at the same local casino. This time I'm in the restroom, fixing my hair, which had gotten messed up a little. I'm not really paying attention to the other women in the restroom (I never really do). Suddenly, I hear the same question again, "You work at St. Anonymous, right?" Well, no, I'm just an altar server... She proceeds to ask my about the "old gentleman in the wheelchair" that attends the Mass I serve. That would be our founding pastor. She insists no, not the "Old Father," the other gentleman in the wheelchair. Spoiler: There is none. The only other regular at that time in a wheelchair is decidedly female, comes with her husband. The woman is insistent, there is another man in a wheelchair, his daughter is the young minister with the long brown hair. I'm just "not recalling, and will know who she's talking about when I see him." Not only is there no other man in a wheelchair, there is no young female minster with long brown hair. Just for giggles, I double-check with our coordinator that following weekend, ask if there's ever been a minister whose father was in a wheelchair. Nope. Never. Overall, this encounter was slightly more annoying, but again, not too bad in the scope of things. If only it had ended here.
Third Encounter: (March, 2016) My mom and I go out for a lovely St. Patrick's Day buffet dinner. On the way home, she suggests stopping off for some grocery shopping. We're strolling through the store, and as we're about to turn onto the next aisle, the same woman from before is coming off that aisle. She instantly recognizes me, and starts gushing. Then, she notices my shirt. It's a skull wearing a green Irish tam, surrounded by snakes in various shades of green. The woman switches from the happy gushing to having a mild meltdown over the shirt. It's "evil", it's "Satan", "snakes & skulls mean the devil". She says I shouldn't wear it. Well, I figure she wouldn't know if I ever intend to wear it again or not, so I try shrugging off her mini-rant, and move on, but she stops me, and continues to insist I shouldn't wear the shirt. "You should take it off!" My brain finally processes that she expects me to take the shirt off, right then & there in the middle of the store, and either finish shopping in my bra, or at the very least make my way to the exit, then drive home in only my bra. I know some women are comfortable doing things like that, but I'm not one of them. My mother tries reassuring the woman, telling her it represents St. Patrick expelling the snakes from Ireland. The woman is not convinced, and it visually disappointed that I will not remove the shirt on the spot. She finally walks away, shaking her head, and continuing to advise me to get rid of the shirt. By this encounter, I'm certainly wishing I lived on a different planet from this woman. Unfortunately, the story does not quite end here.
Fourth Encounter: (Summer, 2022) I'm sitting in the room where we get ready for Mass, talking with one of the ministers. We get there early to set up, and it was still just us at this point. Suddenly, a woman appears in the doorway. Since it's been over 6 years at this point, and the lady had gone gray, I didn't recognize her at first. We ask her if we can help her with anything, and she suddenly walks right in (you're not supposed to do that, there's a very large sign on the door stating AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY). She stands in front of where we're sitting, and starts telling me I shouldn't wear shorts, because "Father's human." Doesn't specify which priest she's worried about (we have 2 assigned currently), just keeps repeating that I shouldn't be wearing shorts because "Father's human." I try explaining that, being summer, and we live in the desert, I wear shorts because the robes I have to wear are very hot, and if I wear pants, I will get sick from overheating (been there, done that, multiple times, almost passed out during a livestream once). In fact, just 3 weeks prior, I wore pants because the weather was stormy, and I started feeling woozy during Mass. However, before I can get more than 3 words out, the woman just asserts again that I shouldn't wear the shorts. She even starts gesturing to my reflection in the mirror (rather than actually to me), trying to get the minister to see where she's coming from. However, the minister is on my side, and also tries explaining that I'll overheat if I wear pants under the robes, but she also gets cut off with "Yes, but, Father's human." We try pointing out that due to how early I get there, I'm always robed up before the priest even gets there, so he never sees me in the shorts, but she won't hear it. Then, there's the icing on the cake. She says that she'd been meaning to "remind me" of this for several weeks, but kept forgetting, until "Jesus & Mary spoke to her last night, reminding her to remind me." That Father's human. Good to know. I often worry that the priest celebrating Mass is a robot, or an extraterrestrial. Anywho, she goes on like this for a good five minutes, before finally walking out, clearly under the impression that I'm agreeing with her not to wear shorts anymore, even though I've done nothing but reaffirm that as long as the weather is hot, I'll be wearing shorts. When I went out to light the candles, I saw she was sitting in the front row, on the left side. I joked with the minister that when I get up there at the beginning of Mass, I should hike the robe up, and sit with my legs in full view. (I didn't). It wasn't until later that I realized it was the same woman from before, the same temperament, the same demeanor, the same voice quality, etc. It had been long enough I'd almost forgotten her, but this episode brought it all back.
I haven't encountered her again since, but I keep an eye out for her. I'll do my best to avoid her. And continuing wearing shorts in the summer. Oh, and I proudly wear my Irish Skull shirt every St. Patrick's Day.

TL;DR: boyfriend (M30) learnt my native language secretly to listen in on what my me (F30) and my family talk about.
Some basic info on us that I think is relevant:
My bf, come from a kind of rich country in europe, and has been living in the secondary country for all of his life. He has a good job but has had bad relationships in the past.
I (GF) come from a comparitively under-developed country and met my bf on holiday to visit my brother in the secondary country.
I met my boyfriend about 3.5 years ago, we spoke for a year while he visited almost every month even though it is far, he sorted out having me move to the secondary country where I have been living with him for 2.5 year. So far it has been great, he's kind, smart and very charismatic. I know all of his friends and family and nobody has said anything bad about him or mentioned anything about him learning my language so I think they do not know.
All my family speaks English fully but we default to a kind of small dialect of a language when I am home, they are here, or I am on the phone. He has no links to this community other than his step-dad who is from the same place as me, but has never hinted or even joked that my bf knows our language.
So. On with the story.
We were both home today, he is working on his laptop and someone from his work comes to the door and he has to leave urgently. This happens sometimes and is not unusual.
After a while I walk by the table he works on near the kitchen, and see that his laptop is still on and unlocked, with a document open in my native dialect, which as far as I knew he only knows a maximum of 5 words. I know it's bad of me, but I decided to snoop. I know that is dishonest of me but you can't not see the screen when you go to the kitchen and this isn't exactly something you would ignore, because its so unexpected.
I looked through the document, and it's basically small notes on a conversation I had with my brother earlier where my bf has listed down some slang phrases we used, which i thought was odd as my bf doesn't speak my language and incredibly intrusive (i know, irony). So by now I have to know more, so I carried on looking at his laptop and I saw a folder titled with my language and can see in there that he has been paying for lessons for almost 3 years and I can see all of his notes, which include writing practice stories in my language, letters and even watching tv shows. So I can see that he isn't just learning basic phrases, he has a very extremely advanced knowledge and understands almost everything, including slang we use.
Following on from this, I see messages between him and his tutor, explicitly saying that he is learning the language not to talk, but only to listen to me my family and my friends to see if we are looking to hurt him and if I mention something to a friend indicating that I'm cheating etc.
By now I'm angry, I know it probably look bad since I just admitted to snooping, but I've never given him a reason to think I'm scamming him or whatever, and I don't intend to.
Also, whenever I have been with family, he has made me translate what they are saying into English almost every day for 3.5 years while he has played dumb like he doesn't understand anything other than hello and give me beer.
Should I confront him and let him know all of this? some of this? I don't think I can ignore it as it is bothering me so much and I'm sure he will be back later tonight and he will know something is wrong. I love him of course, but I feel betrayed and now I'm worried about other things he may be hiding.

This year my school got a new principal and she has made it her mission to make me miserable. I am a 12 year teacher and I teach special education and I love what I do. But goddamn if this woman doesn’t hate my guts for no reason! Constantly picking and bullying and when she can’t come up with a reason to talk down to me, it seems to fuel her fire. Tomorrow I have to take off for court in the am (I’m a witness not defendant lol) and I’m going to the dermatologist later. I put in for ONE SICK DAY and she immediately emailed me asking me to bring a doctor’s note for Thursday. I live in Virginia and the state code says that after three consecutive days an employer can ask for documentation. But ONE FUCKING DAY?! I looked at my absence balances and this year I have taken 7.8 sick days, including tomorrow’s time. Did I mention that SHE has now been out 17 days since winter break?…INCLUDING TODAY.
Also I got so fed up with her treatment that I recently got a job in a different district. Because of this, I have been slowly packing and removing my items from my classroom to make my life easier. She had the NERVE today to have someone come in my room to do an inventory of the items the school purchased over the last 10 or so years to make sure nothing “walked out of the building….” Ma’am. MA’AM. Jokes on her, it was all there. But this has been the theme of my treatment all year. I have never had a single complaint from an administrator, parent, or coworker. This woman has an issue with me on some deep personal level and it’s as if every time something positive is said about me or happens to me, she tries to knock me down a few pegs. I’m just losing my mind at this point and I cannot wait to never see her again.

It only been a month but with how things ended and the people she would always hang around with, it wouldn't surprise me if she already fucked at the very least 1 other person from her friend group... and yet here I am masturbating in my parents basement...
Now I am by no means ready to start dating again but, I saw a girl from my highschool today at the store, and she was one I always found attractive and is known to be a bit promiscuous, but I was to nervous to say hi and I'm beating myself up for atleast not saying hi... I should've atleast said hi. I don't think she noticed me though as she didn't look at me at all, or atleast I didn't notice if she did, but fuck I should've said hi atleast... honestly, I just saw her thought how my ex is probably fucking someone else right now I should see if she (the girl from my highscool) would want to get dinner...
I have no friends, after graduating college we all went our separate ways and lost contact so this break up made me lose the one and only person I really had... my ex fiance got a big new friend group and pretty much since she wanted nothing to do with me other then free dinners and occasional sex. I think she got frustrated that I kept wanting to do things with her and got upset when all she would do was hang with her friends until midnight and yet she'd always tell me she's to tired to do anything with me and she wouldn't ever want me to come with her when she went to hang with her friends...
It's been a month and I'm definitely not ready to be dating yet, but thinking about how my ex easily could have already fucked someone else pisses me off... like she dumps me out of the blue then ghosts me... then starts posting things like "when be dumps you but it's right before summer *evil laugh", "at a new low time to get tinder" and other things like that on her social media's like wtf! We were engaged and you're already planning a hot girl summer and telling everyone I dumped you!!?? I have since removed her from all social media.
I'm horny as shit, angry, and idk man I just need to vent and blow off some steam and bust a fucking nut but I can't stop thinking about how my ex is probably already getting railed by atleast one other person but I have a feeling it's more.
Re reading this post makes me sound like such a degenerate but idc... I went from having consistent sex to none, and I can't shake this feeling about what my ex has been up to and it makes me want to go against my beliefs and just try fucking around in hopes it'll make me forget about her...

At the world’s top college of magic and technology, every day brings a new discovery -and a new disaster. The advanced experiments of the college students tend to be both ambitious and apocalyptic, with the end of the world only prevented by a mysterious time loop, and a small handful of students who retain their memories.
Surviving the loops was hard enough, but now, in his senior year, Vell Harlan must take charge of them, and deal with the fact that the whole world now knows his secrets. Everyone knows about Vell’s death and resurrection, along with the divine game he is a part of. Now Vell must contend with overly curious scientists and evil billionaires hungry for divine power while the daily doomsday cycle bombards him with terrorists, talking elephants, and the Grim Reaper himself -but if he can endure it all, the Last Goddess’s game promises the ultimate prize: power over life itself.
[Previous Chapter][Patreon][Cover Art]
“Should I be worried?”
Why would you be worried?” Kim said. “Dean Lichman loves us.”
Dean Lichman had asked the two of them to stop by his office, though his brief message had not said what for. That left Vell to concoct nightmare scenarios in his head.
“He doesn’t love all of us.”
“Alex doesn’t count as ‘us’,” Kim said. She was a looper in purely a technical sense, mostly due to her own refusal to be a team player. “Besides, she’s been behaving lately. She’s only been an asshole, not an active liability.”
“That we know of.”
“If we don’t know about it, Dean probably doesn’t either,” Kim said. “It’s fine, Vell, he probably just wants to ask us for advice or deal with some problem he has.”
“That’s not much better,” Vell said. “How weird would things have to be that the Dean is asking us for help personally?”
“Only one way to find out,” Kim said. She gestured to the door to the Dean’s office.
Kim entered first, and found it in much the same state as it always was. The desk piled high with paperwork, a small bowl of assorted candies shoved into the corner of the desk, and Dean Lichman behind it, frantically tapping away on a laptop. Vell had not been in this office for several years, and it was vastly different than the last time he’d been here.
“Ah, there you are, come in, have a seat,” Dean Lichman said. “Unless you’d rather we have our conversation elsewhere, Vell.”
“Why would I want that?”
“Well, it’s my understanding you haven’t been in this office since my, uh, predecessor,” Dean Lichman said.
“Oh, right, the kidnapping,” Vell said. “No, I’m good, I don’t really get traumatized by things anymore.”
Vell had been killed too many different ways in too many different places to have a functional trauma response. A few days ago he’d gotten his legs chewed off by a vending machine, and still stopped by it to pick up a soda on his way to the office.
“That’s a very concerning response, Mr. Harlan.”
“Yeah. Anyway, what did you need?”
Dean Lichman gestured for the duo to take a seat, and both did so. He folded desiccated hands in front of himself before beginning to speak.
“I would like to ask you two to take a look at an experiment that will be occurring later this week,” Dean Lichman said. “I don’t have any reason to believe it poses a threat, but I would like to be assured it is a safe and ethical environment, and, well, you two have a knack for identifying trouble spots.”
“You could say that,” Kim said. It was more accurate to say that trouble had a way of identifying them -and then leaping at them and ripping their heads off.
“I’d appreciate it if the two of you could simply examine the laboratory and give it your approval, or disapproval, as the case may be,” Dean Lichman said. “Though if you’re too busy, I fully understand.”
“If you don’t think this is dangerous, why are you asking for our help anyway?”
“Simply for my own peace of mind, frankly,” Dean Lichman said. “The school’s policies on animal experimentation are...satisfactory, I suppose, but I do want to take extra precautions when the subject is a creature as smart as an elephant.”
“An elephant?”
“Yes, a resident of a reserve in Thailand,” Dean Lichman said. “An older elephant by the name of Mae Noi. She has cancer, apparently, and she is submitting to experimental treatment in the hopes it will be useful for younger elephants.”
Kim’s digital face briefly flashed with a facial expression of concerned skepticism.
“‘She’ is submitting to treatment? As in the elephant?”
“Yes. Apparently the elephant can talk,” Dean Lichman said. “No, I don’t know how it works, they said it was ‘more impressive in person’.”
“Well now I kind of want to go just to see the talking elephant,” Vell said.
“Same.”
“Well, do try to take a few glances at the experiment’s safety while you’re there,” Dean Lichman said.
“Sounds like a plan,” Vell said. “Thanks for the heads up.”
“I’ll be there too,” Kim said.
“Excellent. Thank you both, and I’ll try not to take up too much of your time,” the Dean said. He then bid them both a polite goodbye and returned to his mountains of paperwork. Vell took a step out of the office and then took a sip from the soda he’d recently retrieved from the evil vending machine.
“So, what do you think?”
“I think I really do want to see the talking elephant,” Kim said.
“Obviously, yeah, we all want to see the talking elephant,” Vell said. “I mean the whole situation. You think the elephant thing is going to be the daily apocalypse for that day?”
“Well, on the one hand, an elephant seems like the kind of thing that would kill us,” Kim said. “But on the other, I feel like the fact we have advance warning means it’s not going to happen.”
“True. The universe probably wouldn’t make it that easy for us.”
“Yeah, but the elephant thing still feels pretty threatening,” Kim said. “Only way to find out is to wait a few days, I guess.”
A FEW DAYS LATER
“Hello you two,” Dean Lichman said. “And Hawke.”
“Hey,” Hawke said.
“He also wanted to see the talking elephant,” Kim explained.
“Well, that’s not a problem, it was an open invitation,” Dean Lichman said.
“Thanks. Still, sorry for not saying I was going to show up in advance,” Hawke said. “It took me a long time to make up my mind whether I was more interested in or afraid of a talking elephant.”
“They are rather large, aren’t they? I suppose that could be intimidating.”
“I’m okay with elephants on their own, it’s the talking part that doesn’t sit right with me,” Hawke said. “What if the elephant doesn’t like me? What if I’m the first person to ever get insulted by an elephant?”
“You’re less afraid of getting trampled by an elephant than insulted by one?”
“I’m a little afraid of trampling, but elephants are chill,” Hawke explained. “They wouldn’t attack unless provoked. I kind of feel like one might call me a dipshit unprovoked, though.”
“You have oddly specifics fears, Mr. Hughes,” Dean Lichman said.
“Yeah.”
In spite of those fears, Hawke happily stepped through the door to the zoology lab. It did not take a long time to locate the elephant in the room, as it was a literal elephant. The towering pachyderm was in a makeshift pen in the center of the lab, with an ample supply of food and a strange pedestal in front of her.
“Dr. Chanthara,” Dean Lichman said, with a polite wave to one of the researchers in the room. “Good to see you. These are the students I told you about.”
“Hm. Nice to meet you,” Dr. Chanthara said. He was, perhaps not unreasonably, skeptical of why three seemingly random students were in charge of a safety inspection. The fact that one of the three was a robot made him even more skeptical.
“Hi, nice to meet you too, and, uh, don’t mind us,” Vell said. “We just have an eye for weird things other people might miss.”
“Sure. I- wait. Aren’t you that kid who got chosen by a god?”
“Yeah, that’s me,” Vell said. “And her too, technically.”
Kim shrugged. She didn’t care for any extra attention on that point.
“Right,” Chanthara said. He was beginning to see why these students might know their stuff. “I suppose we should start by introducing you to Mae Noi. Say hello, Mae.”
The elephant shifted on her feet and poked her trunk at the wide pedestal in front of her twice.
“Hello. Friends,” a synthesized voice droned. Vell stepped a little closer to the pedestal, just enough to see that there were an array of buttons on the side facing Mae Noi.
“Oh, it’s kind of like a keyboard,” Vell said. He’d seen similar things used with dogs, though usually in a much simpler fashion. Mae Noi seemed to have a few dozen buttons at her disposal.
“Smart,” Mae Noi said, with another prod of her trunk.
“We initially put it into our sanctuary as a bit of a novelty, something elephants could choose to interact with,” Dr. Chanthara explained. “Mae Noi took to it a bit better than most. Especially once she found out she could use it to ask for food.”
“Food. Pumpkin. Pumpkin. Pumpkin.”
“No, Mae, no food until after experiment,” Dr. Chanthara scolded.
“Experiment,” Mae Niko said with a prod. “Pumpkin.”
“Yes, experiment then pumpkin,” Dr. Chanthara said.
“That’s not really a talking elephant, is it?” Hawke said.
“It’s more talking than most elephants,” Dr. Chanthara said.
“Elephant. Smart,” Mae Niko said. “Smart.”
“Yes, uh, right, elephant smart,” Hawke said. He took a step back, to avoid any further offense and any further risk of being insulted by Mae Noi.
“You’re very impressive, Mae, don’t mind him,” Kim said. “How many words does she know?”
“Our platform back home has around three hundred words, though she’s still learning some of them,” Dr. Chanthara said. “The ‘travel’ version we put together only has a hundred, just enough to make sure she can get her basic needs met and communicate about the experiment.”
“Right, speaking of, I do believe we should put some time into our reason for being here,” Dean Lichman interjected. “You’re welcome to stick around afterwards, at Dr. Chanthara and Mae Noi’s discretion, of course, but we should get underway.”
“We probably should get to business, yeah,” Kim said. She tapped the side of her metal head. “I’m going to scan the lab. Vell, you talk to the elephant and make sure everything’s above-board.”
“Abov- oh, right,” Vell said. “Sorry, not exactly used to being able to ask animals if they agree to animal experimentation.”
“Experiment,” Mae said.
“Yeah, experiment,” Vell said, as he turned to Mae. “So, Mae Noi, this experiment might hurt, do you know that?”
“Experiment. Hurt. Elephant,” Mae Noi prodded. “Experiment. Help. Elephant. Help. Baby.”
“Help baby?”
“Baby. Baby. Elephant. Sick. Baby. Sick.”
“We’ve explained the nature of her condition to Mae Noi as best we can,” Dr. Chanthara said. “She has several children, and is concerned they might be similarly affected.”
“Help. Baby,” Mae Noi said. “Experiment. Help.”
The way Mae Noi frantically tapped the buttons tugged at Vell’s heartstrings, but he choked those emotions down.
“So you want to do this experiment to help baby, got it,” Vell said. “Even if it hurts you?”
“Elephant. Old,” Mae Noi said. “Hurt. Okay. Help. Baby.”
“Huh. Well, that does sound like informed consent to me,” Vell said. “Passes ethical muster, at least.”
The campus rules allowed students to be experimented on, with their consent, so Vell saw no reason not to apply the same standard to an elephant.
“You speak up if you change your mind about the experiment, okay?”
“Stop. Stop. Stop,” Mae said, mashing the same button a few times. “Yes.”
“You got it. I’m going to go help my friends check things out,” Vell said. “Good talking to you, Mae.”
“Good. Talk. Friend,” Mae said. She waved goodbye with her trunk, and Vell waved back. He wandered away from Mae Noi’s pedestal and found Kim and Hawke carefully examining rows of beakers and various other supplies.
“Nothing sus yet, boss,” Hawke said.
“Nothing caustic, mutagenic, or explosive?”
“Well, something mutagenic, but it’s supposed to be,” Kim said. She had scanners built into her body much like those that had once been in Vell’s glasses, allowing her to analyze the complex chemical formulas at a glance. “They’re going for some gene editing similar to what we’ve tried to do on human cancer patients. Low success rate, but not harmful. Some adaptations to work on elephants, of course.”
“Run it by any of our chemistry and biology student friends yet?”
“A few,” Kim said. “Haven’t gotten anything back yet, though.”
“Maybe run it by Skye, too,” Vell said. “She’d recognize anything that’d mutate an animal.”
“She does love to mutate things,” Kim said.
“Benevolently,” Vell insisted. “Just show her. I’m going to check for any stray equipment.”
The presence of an unusually large test subject had resulted in the lab being rearranged and reshuffled, so Vell did a quick scan for any misplaced equipment that might pose a threat. He found, to his surprise, a tidy and well-organized environment, with any and all extraneous materials securely locked away. There wasn’t so much as a shrink ray out of place. Vell did another loop just to be sure, but returned to his friends empty-handed.
“This place has less safety hazards than my lab,” Vell said. Hawke stared at him for a while.
“Why does your lab have safety hazards?’
“I do runecarving, there’s like, hammers and chisels,” Vell said. “Those can hurt people.”
“Mm, true,” Hawke said. “So you really didn’t find anything?”
“Nothing,” Vell said. “This place is secure as I’ve ever seen a lab be.”
“It’s like I said,” Kim began. “We got an actual warning about it, so obviously nothing’s going to go wrong. That’d be too easy.”
“Maybe,” Vell said. “Things can get teleported in, or someone could cast a spell, or something.”
“Yeah, but that applies to anywhere, at any time,” Kim said.
“Kim’s right,” Hawke said. “I say we go business as usual.”
“I guess,” Vell said. “We have to branch out a little, at least. Can’t keep an eye on one room all day.”
The trio stopped sulking around the outskirts of the lab and returned to Dean Lichman and Dr. Chanthara.
“Everything looks good,” Kim said. “Probably the safest lab I’ve ever seen.”
“I’ll choose to take that as a compliment,” Dr. Chanthara said.
“We have very high safety standards here at the Einstein-Odinson,” Dean Lichman said, defensively. “Relatively speaking. Innovation requires some risk.”
“I understand perfectly. So does Mae.”
“Hurt. Okay,” Mae said.
“Not that okay,” Vell said. “Nice meeting you, Dr. Chanthara. You too, Mae.”
“Wait.”
Mae prodded one of the buttons on her pedestal and then pointed her trunk at the three of them. Hawke looked deeply concerned, but stepped forward alongside Vell and Kim. Mae Noi appraised them with massive brown eyes, and then moved her trunk back towards the pedestal. Vell noticed a distinctive scar on the bridge of her long nose just as Mae Noi pressed another button.
“Joke.”
“...Joke?”
Dr. Chanthara sighed and rolled his eyes.
“Just go along with it,” he said. “She likes to tell her joke.”
“Uh, okay,” Vell said. “Let’s hear it.”
“What. Elephant. Favorite. Part. Tree.”
“Umm...I don’t know, Mae,” Vell lied. He’d heard this joke from a kid, once. “What part?”
“Trunk,” Mae said. She gave a loud bray of amusement and then slammed her trunk down a few more times to emphasize the punchline. “Trunk. Trunk.”
“Oh, ha, I get it,” Kim said, hoping her feigned laugh was convincing. She’d never tried to lie to an elephant before. “Good one, Mae.”
Mae Noi shifted from side to side, looking pleased with herself, while the trio took a step back and stopped their feigned laughter.
“Did you give her buttons just to tell that joke with?”
“She gets upset,” Dr. Chanthara said. “I’m not even sure she understands the pun, she just likes people’s reactions.”
“As long as she’s having fun,” Hawke said.
“We’ll get out of your hair now,” Vell said. “Good luck with the experiment, feel free to let us know if you need a hand with anything.”
“I’ll keep it in mind,” Dr. Chanthara said. Some of his earlier skepticism seemed to have softened, but he did not seem entirely onboard with three strangers mucking about with his experiment. Vell and his friends left before they stretched what little goodwill they had any further. Mae Noi waved her trunk goodbye as the three left the lab and stepped back onto the quad.
“I’m going to try and sneak some classes in,” Hawke said. “Later.”
“I’ll check some of our usual hot spots,” Kim said, before she too left. Once again alone, Vell headed to one of his own classes, and called up Samson.
“Hey, Samson,” Vell began. “See anything interesting while we were playing with the elephant?”
“Well, I thought I clocked someone acting suspicious, but it turns out he was only sneaking around to go see his boyfriend,” Samson said. “Nothing apocalyptic, but I did get called a homophobe, which is pretty emotionally devastating.”
“I’m sure you’ll recover someday,” Vell said. “Keep an eye out. Usually the safer things look, the more dangerous things end up being.”
“Will do,” Samson said, before saying goodbye and hanging up.
***
Vell got increasingly nervous the longer the day went without its daily disaster. He thought about checking in on Mae Noi again, but then recalled Kim’s warning about it being too obvious, but then remembered that nobody had seen anything suspicious anywhere else, but then remember that Mae Noi’s lab had looked perfectly safe-
“Vell.”
“Huh?”
“You’re spiraling,” Kim said.
“I’m not spiraling, I’m just,” Vell said, with a pause for contemplation. “Considering multiple options.”
“In a spiral fashion,” Kim said. “Eat the damn french fries. Honestly, what’s the point of ordering so many if you’re just going to let them get cold?”
“It’s not like they’re going to go to waste,” Vell said. The same time loop that allowed him to eat massive amounts of french fries without fear of gaining weight also allowed him to avoid food waste. One of the upsides of life in a time loop.
“Just eat, Vell,” Kim said. “You worry too much about all this shit.”
“I’m in charge, it’s my job to worry about it,” Vell said.
“It’s your job to handle it,” Kim said. “There’s no point thinking about this shit before it happens, you spend all day thinking about an elephant and then the universe drops, like, a bat with tentacles on your head. Just deal with as it comes, Vell.”
Vell leaned on the table and managed to chomp down on a french fry or two.
“You know, next year, when I’m not running the show anymore, I’m going to call and see if you still think it’s that easy.”
“I sure hope so,” Kim said. “I’m saying all this shit trying to make myself believe it too.”
“Oh good, you’re lying to both of us,” Vell said. “That’s cool.”
“Fake it ‘til you make it, Vell, that’s how it goes,” Kim said. “Eat your damn french fries.”
Vell rolled his eyes and returned to his fries, which were now starting to cool. Thankfully he would not have to worry about finishing them. A loud crash from across campus interrupted him mid-bite and nearly made Vell choke on his fries. He painfully swallowed the half-chewed food and then looked over his shoulder.
“Son of a bitch, finally,” Vell said. A few years ago he’d found it weird whenever he was relieved about a disaster, but now he was just genuinely glad to get it over with. The waiting was as killer as the apocalypse. He tossed his fries in the trash and headed toward the sound of chaos, with Kim right behind him.
“Already told everybody?”
“Well, I may or may not have left Alex and Helena out of the loop…”
“Kim.”
“They’d find out anyway,” Kim said. “I got to use my brain parts to get in touch with them, even over wi-fi that shit feels dirty.”
“Just get in- stop.”
Vell held out his hand. Kim froze in place and did not move. Not intentionally, at least. There was a small amount of unintentional movement. The ground was vibrating.
“Always love a good earthquake,” Kim said.
“That’s not a quake,” Vell said. “That’s...footsteps!”
Vell grabbed Kim and dove out of the way just in time for something to barrel through the walls of the dining hall and stampede across the room. Tables, chairs, and more than a few students were crushed under the feet of a hulking, brown-furred behemoth as it charged. Kim picked herself and Vell up off the floor and tried to trail its progress.
“That’s a- oh fuck me,” Kim said. “Please don’t say you told me so.”
Vell got his bearings and looked across the room at the titanic form of a woolly mammoth. Though it was definitely recognizable as an archaic mammoth, the ancient creature was also heavily mutated, unnaturally large even by mammoth standards, and with multiple curled, jagged tusks protruding from a slobbering maw.
“Well that could be unrelated,” Vell said. “Mammoths can come from a lot of places, cloning accidents, time machines…”
The mammoth reached a wall, and rather than barreling through, turned around, facing directly towards Vell. A prominent scar covered the bridge of its broad trunk.
“Oh, nope, that’s definitely Mae,” Vell said. The scar was in the same place and at the same angle. Even a clone wouldn’t have an identical scar.
Once the revelation had struck, Mae took her turn. Vell found himself staring straight down the barrel of a very angry mammoth coming right at him at Vell-squishing velocity. Luckily he’d been charged at by a lot of creatures over four years of looping.
Vell jumped up and to the side, and latched on to one of the curled tusks, which made for very convenient handlebars. Kim did the same on the opposite side of Mae, and punched her in the head.
“Wait, wait, hold off on the violence for a second,” Vell shouted. He tried to wave at Kim to stop, but Mae was thrashing so violently he had to grip the tusks with both hands.
“Good plan,” Kim shouted. “Can you get Mae on board?”
Another set of tables got crushed underfoot. Thankfully the other students were out of trampling range by now, but Mae Noi’s feet were still coated in the blood of earlier victims.
“Mae’s smart, maybe we can calm her down,” Vell said. He then ducked to dodge a swat from Mae’s mutated trunk.
“Call me crazy, Vell, but I think this is more than just a bad mood,” Kim said, as she climbed up Mae’s seven jagged tusks like a ladder.
“We have to try,” Vell said. The loopers rule against hurting other intelligent life forms had some flexibility for blood-crazed mutants on violent rampages, but they had to at least try to reason first. Vell climbed up on of Mae’s tusks and looked into one of her bloodshot eyes for any sign of recognition. “Mae! It’s Vell, do you remember?”
The only response Vell got was an enraged trumpet, which he didn’t think was a “yes”.
“Come on, bud,” Vell said. “What’s an elephant’s favorite part of a tree, right? The trunk?”
The massive brown eye staring at Vell blinked, and he felt a brief glimmer of hope. He then felt a brief glimmer of his lungs being crushed as Mae swung her head and slammed her tusks into the wall, and Vell along with them. Kim punched Mae in the throat and then jumped across the tusks to grab Vell and carry him to safety.
“You okay, Vell?”
He opened his mouth to respond, and a pint or two of blood came out instead.
“Apparently not,” he mumbled. “I might be down a few ribs. And a lung. Or two.”
Kim carried Vell a safe distance from the fight and set him down on the ground, where he promptly spat out another mouthful of blood.
“Okay, uh, you just lie there and try to die peacefully, I guess,” Kim said.
“Way ahead of you.”
***
“Was that last bit as funny as I thought it was?” Vell asked. “I think the blood loss was affecting my sense of humor.”
“It was kind of hard to appreciate in the moment,” Kim said. “But as far as dying jokes go, it was pretty good.”
Vell and Kim walked into the lair for their morning meeting and joined the loopers that had already gathered.
“Okay, what’d I miss while I was dead?”
“Well, after Alex was done getting herself killed,” Samson began.
“You’re saying that as if it’s something to be ashamed of,” Alex said. “Vell also died.”
“Yeah, but he got killed trying to do something good. You got killed trying to do something stupid.”
“Trying to eliminate a threat is not stupid,” Alex said.
“We don’t kill intelligent creatures,” Hawke said. “Sometimes we punch them into a coma, but we don’t kill them.”
“When a dog bites, you put it down, I don’t see why the same principle doesn’t apply to a mammoth that’s crushed seventy people.”
“That wasn’t Mae’s fault,” Vell said. “She got mutated, or something. On that note: did you guys figure out what happened to Mae Noi?”
“Nothing,” Hawke said. “Looked like Mae smashed up the entire lab, trampled everyone involved in the experiment too. Nothing left to investigate, and nobody left alive to interrogate.”
“Typical,” Vell sighed. “At least we have an easy out. Dean Lichman was really concerned about the ethics of that whole experiment. We raise some kind of complaint, we could probably get the whole thing shut down.”
“The problem is getting the complaint,” Hawke said. “That lab was airtight, Vell.”
“Apparently not completely airtight,” Kim said. “I can camp out in the lab and raise an entirely justifiable stink whenever something capable of making a murder-mammoth shows up.”
“And what if it happens so suddenly you can’t complain about it?” Samson asked. “For all we know that could’ve been some kind of dimensional rift, or time anomaly, or something. It might not be as simple as somebody just putting in the wrong syringe at the wrong time.”
“He’s got a point,” Vell said. “We might want to shut this down before it gets there.”
“Seems like our best option is to plant evidence, then,” Alex said.
Everyone else at the table spent a few seconds brainstorming ways to prove her wrong, and much to their frustration, could not.
“Okay, fine,” Vell said. “But it needs to be something incidental, not something anyone would get blamed for. We want to cancel the experiment, not get anyone in trouble.”
“I could have a seizure on some sensitive equipment,” Helena offered. “It’ll break something and nobody would dare get mad at me.”
“Can you fake a seizure?”
“No, but I’m allergic to elephants, so I’d probably have one anyway the moment I stepped in the lab,” Helena said.
“I don’t feel entirely comfortable sending you into anaphylactic shock for a bit,” Vell said.
“Offer’s on the table,” Helena said. “I’ll live. Wouldn’t have made it through that trip to the zoo otherwise.”
“Anybody have any non-medical emergency suggestions?”
“Seagull in the air vents,” Kim said.
“Will that work?”
“It happens now and then,” Kim said. “Seagull gets in, and Dean has to close down the whole lab for potential material damage and biohazard risks if they shit in the vents.”
“Really? We’ve never had to deal with anything like that,” Hawke said.
“It may shock you to learn that sometimes minor, tedious bullshit happens that we have nothing to do with,” Kim said.
“That is kind of surprising, actually.”
“Enough. Kim, can you grab a seagull?” Vell asked. He shouldered his bookbag, and stuck a hand into the extradimensional pocket that existed within it. “I can probably smuggle it in with my bag.”
“Yeah, I can get you a seagull,” Kim said. Since she did not need to sleep, she had to find ways to keep herself entertained at night, seagull-grabbing being among them.
“Alright, we’ll go grab one and put it in the bag,” Vell said. “The rest of you, be ready to meet us when I call.”
***
Roughly three minutes later, Vell put out the call and they reconvened in front of the biology lab.
“Yeah, that was much faster than I thought it would be,” Vell said.
“I’m great at grabbin’ birds,” Kim said. Seagulls were among the easier birds to snatch, even. They were suckers for food, and many of them were attracted to her shiny metallic body anyway.
“Let’s just get this over with,” Vell said. “I want this thing out of my bag ASAP.”
Even though the seagull was safely within a pocket dimension, Vell would swear he could still feel the bird thrashing and squawking inside his bag. He tightened his grip on the shoulder strap and led the way towards the zoology lab entrance. He grabbed the handle and held it as he froze for a second.
“Vell, what’s up? Is this bird escaping?”
“No, the handle’s vibrating,” Vell said. It was shaking the same way a wall near an incredibly loud speaker might. He pressed his ear to the door and listened closely. He opened the door immediately, and let all his friends hear the frantic trumpeting of a panicked elephant.
Inside the lab, Mae Noi was stomping her feet and trumpeting as loud as he long trunk would allow. She swayed from side to side in her pen, bumping against the walls not quite hard enough to damage them, but hard enough that it was clear she was doing it on purpose.
“What the heck is happening here?”
“Ah, Vell,” Dean Lichman said. He hustled over to Vell’s side and gestured to the entire room. “Maybe you can figure out what’s going on.”
Mae Noi stopped braying long enough to start mashing her trunk against her pedestal, mashing out the word “Bad” over and over again.
“Our test subject, Mae Noi, has been throwing an absolute fit ever since she got here,” Dean Lichman said. “Dr. Chanthara, these are the students I was telling you about earlier.”
While Vell reintroduced himself to Dr. Chanthara, Kim and Hawke stepped up to examine Mae Noi and her enclosure. It was a far cry from the peaceful, orderly scene they had examined on the first loop. They were half an hour earlier this time than before, but Kim found it unlikely that they had been able to calm Mae Noi down, clean everything up, and get back to work in such a short amount of time. They hadn’t mentioned any of this panic on the first loop either. They were soon joined in their confusion by Chanthara and Vell.
“We’ve tried everything; food, water, her favorite toys, even videos of her children,” Dr. Chanthara said. “We’ve even offered to call off the experiment, but she won’t listen.”
“She is an animal,” Alex said. “Sometimes they do things arbitrarily.”
“Not Mae,” Dr. Chanthara said. “Some of our sanctuaries residents from traumatic backgrounds can have outbursts, but Mae was injured in the wild. She’s never been like this.”
“Maybe some experiment on the island is upsetting her,” Vell said. “A sonic experiment only she can hear, or something…”
Vell stopped and thought about it. If there had been such an irritant, it would’ve been there on the first loop too. Everything always repeated exactly the same, except for-
“Could you, uh, take a step back for a second?” Vell mumbled. “I want to try talking to her.”
“Don’t get close,” Chanthara warned him.
“I’m not, I’m not,” Vell said. He didn’t need to get very close to tell a joke.
The massive brown eyes of Mae Noi stayed locked on Vell as he approached, and she continued to mash the “Bad” button on her pedestal.
“I know, I know, bad,” Vell said. “But, uh, do you want to hear a joke?”
Mae Noi stopped. She locked eyes with Vell for a few seconds, and then cautiously tapped a button on her pedestal.
“Joke.”
“Right, joke,” Vell said. He tried to recall the exact sequence of words Mae had used on the first loop. “What elephant favorite part tree?”
Mae didn’t blink.
“Trunk,” Vell said.
After a moment of contemplation, Mae Noi let out one final, fervent, trumpet, and then started mashing buttons on her pedestal again.
“Bad. Help. Help. Experiment. Bad. Help. Bad. Help.”
“Yeah, bad help, one second,” Vell said. He turned away from Mae Noi to look at Dean Lichman. “Hey, uh, excuse me, Dean? Hey, uh, if I remember correctly there are some pretty complicated rules on having intelligent animals on campus, yes?”
“Well, yes,” Dean Lichman said. After hearing of some questionable ethical practices involving an octopus back in first year, he had instituted a few clauses into the school’s ethical code of conduct regarding intelligent animals like elephants, octopuses, and dolphins. “Mae’s presence here is a bit of an outlier, but there were workaround, given her apparent consent to the experiment.”
“Yeah, about that, is she, uh,” Vell began. “Is she registered as a student?”
“Yes.”
Vell pursed his lips. It took a few seconds for his friends to catch on.
“You have got to be fucking kidding me,” Samson snapped. He turned his back on the crowd and leaned against a wall while Hawke put his head in his hands.
“The first rule of looping,” Alex said quietly. “Loopers are randomly selected-”
She looked up and locked eyes with Mae Noi.
“From all registered students.”

Something I was thinking about when I watched the final moments of the most recent EFAP was Mauler’s observation that the internet content creator landscape used to be different when AVGN clones ruled Youtube and his question of how that shifted into video essayists and commentary channels. I thought about that for a while and I thought of some reasons why the landscape changed that I would like to share.
Managers
Something that people might not be aware of is how many Youtubers have people managing their content in the form of things like setting up brand deals and other services that I am not familiar with. Some of them are very public about what they do, some of them are more private. The important thing is how managers worked in the past.
One thing that I liked about Machinima, ScrewAttack, and Channel Awesome that the creators probably didn’t like is that they forced the older creators to stick to a set schedule of uploads and some of them forced creators to follow a set formula. This meant that the manager would make sure that if a creator uploaded a video every Friday at 2pm, they would have an upload every single Friday at 2pm.
How would this work if the creator wanted to take a week off? Well, the creator would have to have a video to upload in advance. What if the creator wanted to spend 3 weeks on a super-duper big video? Well, they could absolutely do that, but it would be a passion project and they’d still have to follow the set schedule for regular uploads.
This created a content landscape that I actually enjoyed a lot as a consumer because it’s probably the way it should be for reviewers. Every week, or every day in rare cases, a movie reviewer would need to review a different movie, which meant that a reviewer might have to force themselves to sit through a movie they don’t want to see like Fifty Shades Of Grey to give it a chance to subvert their expectations and earn a glowing review, or dig deep to find a new indie movie to review to fill that quota if they really didn’t want to sit through Fifty Shades Of Grey.
The promise of Patreon and creators becoming more independent was that creators would exclusively make videos on topics they wanted to do, but I personally think that was the wrong way to go. I’ve maintained a position that I prefer it when content creators are encouraged, or even forced, to talk about things that they don’t want to talk about because oftentimes that’s when reviewers are most interesting. Some of my favorite Roger Ebert reviews were when he reviewed a children’s movie like Space Jam or Pokemon: The First Movie, and some of my favorite Zero Punctuation reviews are when he has to pick out a random indie game and commit to reviewing it regardless of what the indie game turned out to be, like when he reviewed Hell Pie.
What I think has happened is that the lack of managers has encouraged content creators to upload whatever they want, whenever they want, which has usually translated to videos about ‘easy’ topics, like videos about Disney movies, being uploaded weeks, or even months, apart, which has made the content creation landscape, at least for reviewers, a lot less interesting, and a lot less engaging.
It’s actually one of the reasons why EFAP has been losing my interest lately, because although they upload a stream every week the topics they choose are generally ‘easy’ topics because I genuinely think the hosts don’t have the ability to make an EFAP on something more obscure, or even just ‘difficult’ like Baby Reindeer, very interesting, or they just won’t do streams on those topics because, as Rags said: “This is our show, and we can do whatever the fuck we want.”
Honestly, my hot take is that I liked you better when you couldn’t do whatever the fuck you wanted all of the time. In fact, one of my favorite Rags moments on EFAP was when he clearly didn’t want to be involved with the debate with Twin Perfect.
Sponsors
I remember the Adpocalypse and how Youtubers transitioned to sponsors over relying heavily on ad-revenue. What that event transpired into is that audiences were far more accepting of basically any form of making money that Youtubers would use. Patreon became a very dominant part of Youtube, but sponsors also became extremely common and audiences would even cheer in the comment sections when creators would have their first Raid: Shadow Legends sponsorship.
Sponsors are what I want to talk about because I have seen Youtubers show that they have a bunch of videos on their computer that they simply aren’t releasing to the public because they don’t want to upload a single video without a sponsor on their main channel, as well as Youtubers having a second channel where they upload ‘slop’ content without sponsors that most of their audience is usually unaware of or isn’t interested in.
The problem is that the appeal for pretty much all content on Youtube is the personalities of the people creating the content, which is less about the actual personalities and more like “That’s an actual person doing what they actually want to do, that’s so cool,” but that is usually undercut by the presence of sponsors. The fact that Youtubers will sit on a video they made and not upload it unless they can get a sponsor to pay for it always seemed strange to me, especially for Youtubers where the image they present is “I’m just a normal, chill guy who makes Youtube videos for fun,” which needs the caveat of “Uhhhh, I’m actually really poor and if I don’t take this BetterHelp sponsor I can’t afford my rent this month. Please understand, I’m barely making any money on Youtube,” when a sponsor is included in the video.
As weird as this sounds, there are communities of creatives online that don’t expect to ever make any money putting hours, days, weeks, months, and years of work into a project. There are modding communities, bloggers, game developers, fanfiction writers, and artists that only want comments saying “You did a good job,” and Youtubers used to be that way, or they used to present themselves that way before sponsors became as common as they are now.
I don’t say this often enough, but I remember when Youtubers would make videos about not just random pictures on Deviantart, but on fanfictions and pornographic videos. They’d do those videos for things like clout, which is something that I don’t see too often on Youtube.
People might say that there are a bunch of Youtubers that talk about obscure media and Youtubers that make things without any expectation of earning money, which I say “Well, yeah, but that’s not what I’m talking about,” and then I’d point to things like AVGN’s Atari Porn video, and old videos where commentary Youtubers would branch out from their niche to say “Hey, just for fun, we’re going to check out this weird fanfiction story,” or how Yahtzee would include fun projects he created at the end of his Zero Punctuation videos, like how he’d dub over scenes in video games like Half-Life and Painkiller, or how he made a slideshow with Garry’s Mod that depicted a love story between Heavy and Medic.
What I’m saying is that a large part of what made Youtube fun was that not every video from an established creator with 100k subscribers needed to be monetized, or even created with the expectation of being successful or well-received by the community. There was a time when the expectations people had for, say, Jim Sterling was for a high-quality Jimquisition video to be produced and uploaded to the main channel once a week, and for the other days to feature a minimally-edited video where he showed himself trying out a game or reacting to a trailer on his main channel.
In the past I said that I would like it if EFAP would talk about comments and read fanfictions on-stream and I was mocked for it, but I stand by that statement because, although EFAP clearly doesn’t want to do it regularly, when they do read comments on-stream it tends to result in some of the best content because it showcases a side to them that I like. Instead of being totally normal dudes talking to each other about a movie they saw or reacting to a video, they have to use text-to-speech or read the comment using a silly voice or, well, use just a little bit of creativity when reading those comments out-loud.
What I’m kinda saying is that, yes, I think we all like professionally-produced content, and we all accept that sponsors for videos are necessary. But, like, I don’t like how for most successful Youtubers only the monetizable content, often with sponsors, is presented on the main channel, while the other content doesn’t exist, is uploaded to a secondary channel, or is locked behind some kind of paywall.
It just feels strange that these normal, chill, relatable people have gotten themselves into a position where they can earn real money, in some cases a lot of money, to stand in front of a webcam for 10 minutes talking about their favorite movies, chat with a group of friends, or even just play their favorite video game, and in quite a few cases they won’t do any of those things unless there’s a way to monetize it. Imagine how it looks to say “Well, I can’t talk about this cool fanfiction story I read on my main channel to my audience that enjoys my content about that franchise because I can’t get a sponsor for it.”
I wonder if Rags, a regular host of EFAP, appreciates the irony of him criticizing Chris Stuckmann for advocating that filmmakers “Get as much time and money as possible to make their films in the ideal circumstances and for the process to be easy,” when he’s in the position that he’s in where, on EFAP, he has as much freedom as he wants in the ideal circumstances to make money with EFAP, and it’s easy, yet he still will complain if he’s asked to step out of his comfort zone, even a little bit, on stream.
Insecurity
A while ago I had a theory about Cancel Culture which was that usually Cancel Culture is incredibly exaggerated by the audience of the people being canceled, and that most of the people being canceled are perfectly fine. The go-to example is the poor lady who made a joke about AIDS before going to Africa that got off the flight and got fired from her job due to her joke going viral. What people often don’t mention is that she got fired because it’s a terrible look for the company’s PR person to be involved with such a massive PR disaster, and that she got hired at another company a very short time later. Plus, like, she made a racist joke and people were calling her a racist, it wasn’t like she was targeted for absolutely no reason.
My theory is that people think that Cancel Culture absolutely ruins the lives of celebrities and influencers online because of their intense reactions to being canceled. An early example being Seth Macfarlane, who was mocked for his poorly-received hosting of the Oscars and who seemed incredibly bitter about it, making Cancel Culture a plot point in multiple episodes of Family Guy, talking about how bitter he was about it in interviews for years, and even apparently getting emotional support from his friends and family after the ordeal, even going as far as to ask celebrities to say “I liked what he did and I thought he was hilarious, and very handsome.”
What I’m saying is that I think that in the early days of content creation on Youtube the people making videos were more willing to appear on camera and embarrass themselves, like with Spoony screaming at a big gaming event on camera, because even though they were aware of Cancel Culture being a thing they weren’t going to be reduced to tears by someone saying “You’re totally cringe and annoying,” and even went as far as to incorporate those kinds of comments into their video because it was extremely easy content to create. You probably know what I’m talking about, where a creator would read out “This content creator is SOOOOOOO CRINGE,” in a video in a silly voice which you can’t really do as easily with “OMG, I love your content,” and make it entertaining.
That’s changed a lot today with content creators seeming to project an extreme amount of insecurity in every video they’re a part of, which gets even worse in formats like podcasts. It feels like every commentary creator is a chill dude that isn’t offended by anything and only wants to have a good time talking about things they like because, well, that’s what they need to be to avoid being criticized too severely, but they constantly allude to being a very immature and thin-skinned person that is mainly concerned about earning money, to the point where they’ll say “I’m not even having fun producing content at all.”
In college I remember one of my professors saying: “When you were high school kids you were insecure and weren’t confident in your abilities enough to volunteer when you were asked. You’re adults now, and when you graduate you can’t do that at a real job. Part of growing up is being confident in yourself, and if you don’t want to do that, you can always work in fast food where you never need to grow up, while the other adults in your friend group are becoming doctors and construction workers.”
It’s something that I realized with Youtubers which is that a decent amount of them started their careers young and never had to ‘grow up’ the way that my professor said that we needed to. Even with millions of subscribers you still see a lot of Youtubers struggle to commit to any statement they make, and I hear “I’m just a dumb Youtuber who doesn’t know anything and is stupid and socially-awkward and is fat and smells bad,” too many times from rich and successful people.
The thing is, when you’re a teenager, or you’re in your 20s, that insecurity is charming and relatable because you're trying to find a place in the world and discovering the role that you will fill in society. But, when you’re 30 and your role is “I tell people about the latest internet drama and make references to Spongebob,” or “I talk about Star Wars for hours at a time,” even if you make $2 million every day there’s likely a part of you that says: “I don’t like who I am. I don’t like what I do for a living. Yes, I’m rich, but I don’t like why I’m rich, and I don’t like my audience.”
I think that this insecurity leads to people trying to make their content more ‘mature’, but the way they do it isn’t by presenting themselves as a more confident person, or by making a clear separation between the personality in their content and their actual personality so that they can have a good work/life balance, it’s by creating the same content with very superficially mature elements. So, you end up with the video essayists of the past that gained fame by describing the events of a movie and then giving their opinion on whether they liked or disliked it doing the same thing but with quotes from smart people, like Socrates, and making conclusions like “Some people are gonna like this movie, some people are going to hate it. The important thing is that everyone involved with this movie tried really hard and had fun.”
The thing is, teenagers and 20-year-olds get value from a relatable person that comes across as an insecure loser who is too afraid to take a proper stance on anything to commit to a statement. When someone is actually mature they find more value in someone who is willing to do a good job and defend the job that they did, even if they’re like Neil Breen who thinks they did a good job but clearly did a terrible job. A 20-year-old might declare that Twin Perfect’s debate with EFAP wasn’t embarrassing because he was just being himself or something, but a 40-year-old might not tell Twin Perfect that the debate was embarrassing, but they would no longer respect him, and I imagine a lot of 40-year-olds don’t respect a lot of Youtube video essayists because of how eager they seem to be to engage in self-deprecation.
Conclusion
Despite everything that I’ve said, I do think that the content landscape on Youtube is generally ‘better’ than it was in, say, 2010. We weren’t getting a 4+ hour video by The Little Platoon about Rebel Moon, for instance, in 2010.
What I would compare modern Youtube and classic Youtube to is the 1970s movie scene vs. the 1980s movie scene, which Quentin Tarantino has labeled as “The worst period in movie history,” which the EFAP crew have pushed back on.
The thing is, in the early 80s we got Blade Runner, in the same way that nowadays we got the 4+ hour Little Platoon video, but the theatrical release of that film was famously sabotaged by the company that wanted Harrison Ford to provide voiceovers for the film that ‘ruined’ it, or at least, ruined the ending of the movie.
Throughout the 80s films were made which satisfied audiences more than films from the 70s did because Spielberg was producing hugely successful films that are still highly regarded, but there was also a bunch of shady practices going on and a bunch of notoriously poor studio decisions made in order to appeal to a wide demographic, such as the fiasco with Supergirl and Masters Of The Universe, or changing the ending of Brazil.
In the 1970s we not only got more challenging films, but there was also a thriving independent cinema scene that gave us Death Race 2000, Eraserhead, THX-1138, and Duel. There was also Jaws, Star Wars, and A Clockwork Orange, which were big-budget movies that took serious creative risks that paid off immensely which just wouldn’t happen in the 1980s, or would happen very rarely.
I think that I do prefer Youtube back in, say, 2015-2017 when it seemed like we generally got the best of both worlds, challenging content about a diverse range of subjects with production values comparable to what we have now.
To close this, I would like to include a paraphrased interaction I saw on a podcast featuring a pretty big Youtuber that I think illustrates why Youtube has changed in the way that it has.
Youtuber: Look, I don’t need to work as hard on my videos now because not every video needs to be an event. I just want to take it easy now, pump out a video whenever I feel like it, get paid by the sponsors, and then spend time with my family, is that so wrong?
Host: It kind of is. I know your audience of teenagers will be like “He just wants to spend time with his family, dude, have a heart,” but a lot of Youtubers, especially younger Youtubers look up to you for inspiration. If you’re in that position and your attitude is “I’m going to half-ass every video that I make from now on and if anyone calls my content lazy I’ll use my 8-year-old daughter as a shield against criticism,” that’s the attitude that a lot of young Youtubers are going to have. They’re going to half-ass their content and when criticized, they’re going to find their own excuse, like “I have a kid now,” or “I have to eat,” or something.
Youtuber: That’s not my fault, though. I never asked to be a role model.
Host: That’s not how that works. You don’t get to decide whether or not people look up to you, have expectations of you, and emulate your approach to content creation. You only release 2-3 videos a year, and with your status every video should be a major event, but instead every video is half-assed, as you admitted, and then you use your daughter as an excuse for why you don’t put as much effort into your content as you used to. I think you need to have someone in your life, like a friend, that actually makes you feel some shame for your content and encourages you to do better, rather than your social circle being composed of supportive people like your family and the people who pay you through Patreon.
Host 2: He did have that. He fired him two years ago, remember?
Host: Oh, yeah, you fired your friend, or made him quit, whatever the story was. Did that not make you feel bad at all?
Youtuber: Friendships end, that’s just life.
Host: That’s the attitude that I hate that comes across in your content. You can’t just brush aside everything and bumble through life, except if you’re an internet personality, apparently.
Host 2: It worked for the MCU.
Host: It’s not working for the MCU anymore, though, and it isn’t working as well for this Youtuber. It’s probably going to get worse and when he decides to do more work and make better videos, like he used to do, it’s probably going to be too late, or he’ll need to make really good videos to get the views he once did.
Youtuber: My videos are really good, though.
Host: You admitted to half-assing them.

To start this story off, I suppose it's best to talk a little bit about myself and my experience in the TTRPG space. I've been an avid TTRPG enthusiast for almost two decades now. Yes, I'm a bit of an old hat/old fogey. I started my enjoyment of the hobby with Pathfinder 1st edition, eventually transferring over to DnD 5e when it first arrived on the scene, mostly because it was the new hotness, but I ultimately found that it was better suited for the type of games that I enjoy running at my table. While I very adamantly enjoy the structure that a game's mechanical rules bring to the table, 5e provided a rules system that wasn't invasive, and so me and my friends were able to focus on the things about the game that we enjoyed the most - the roleplaying, the storytelling, and (most importantly) the fun.
Many years would go by, as well as a couple of what I would consider to be successful campaigns - basically anything that managed to survive longer than 3 months. Scheduling, right? I digress. Eventually, I arrived at a point where my current circle of friends and I were itching to play a new campaign, and for the shits and giggles of it we decided we would livestream it on Twitch. At the time, we had managed to get affiliated on Twitch, and one or two of us would occasionally have a couple of viewers pop in when we were streaming whatever video game we were playing, and we figured it would be fun to do the same thing with our next campaign. So we did. As you might expect, nothing really ever came out of it. We were just doing it for fun. The campaign only lasted about 3 months or so, and we never set out with the expectation that what we were releasing into the world was anything amazing - we were just four normal dudes having fun playing a game we enjoyed, and if you happened to find yourself on our Twitch channel to see it, awesome! If not, cool. We weren't doing it for you.
So, yeah, that campaign eventually fell off, and we would eventually return to just streaming whatever video game excited us. One of friends got married, and had a kid, and was too busy for DnD. Another friend got a new job, and his schedule just didn't give him the time. Hell, even I managed to land a pretty decent job at the time, and I struggled to make time for our weekly video game nights, but I managed. But ever since that streamed campaign had ended, I had an itch in the back of my mind that I really wanted to scratch. I thoroughly enjoyed everything about livestreaming our campaign. Sure, it was nothing to write home about, but I fell in love with the showmanship of it all. Maybe it was because of the thought of the potential for someone to eventually watch it, but whenever we would stream, I would get in the zone and pretend I was putting on a show for thousands (even though we may have only ever had three or four viewers at max). Basically, I had fallen in love with the idea of putting on a show for others, and I knew I would jump at the chance to do it again in the future. Enter Wayne.
A little over a year ago (at the time of this posting), I was perusing through the /LFG subreddit and not looking for anything in particular, when I stumbled across a post that checked off all the boxes.
I don't like to admit that I'm picky, but that fact that this sub exists should give credence to that fact that one should, at the very least, have a criteria when looking for games to invest yourself in when looking at advertisements. And if my little backstory above should inform you, there were a number of things on my checklist that this post had. For starters, it was longer than a few sentences. Clearly, the person who posted this was meticulous about what they wanted and what they didn't want (I would learn, much later on, that Wayne was not the one who wrote the post, but one of his players). Secondly, the post was very adamant about what was of paramount importance at the table - rich and compelling narratives, deep exploration of characters, and a passion for roleplay. And thirdly, the plan was to turn this into a "production". The post even included a promo video of respectable quality. Clearly, the people involved with this had a plan, much more of a plan than my friends and I had when we streamed. And, I considered myself a pretty decent roleplayer, so I applied. They were only looking for 1 applicant, but I figured I had a decent shot, with my previous livestreaming experience, and the fact that I already owned a (what some would call excessive) microphone and camera. So I shot my shot. If I didn't get picked, no biggie, life goes on. But when I received a discord invite and told that I had made it to the second round of the application process, I was ecstatic.
It is around here that I should introduce you to our cast of characters (names have been changed, of course:

• There is, of course, me, Dave - a guy who fundamentally believes that fun and safety at a table supersedes everything else, who happens to really enjoy hamming it up in character, and telling exciting stories.
  
• Ava - an already confirmed player at the table, with a past experience of playing with Wayne. I would come to find out that Ava was the one who had written the LFG post. Ava was also in charge of Discord moderation, and the second round interview process. She has her own story, which I will allude to here, but is ultimately hers to share.
  
• Jelly - Wayne's significant other. Jelly was supposedly not involved with the upcoming campaign at all, but had a presence on the Discord, and have previously played in Wayne's campaigns.
  Seth - another already confirmed player at the table. Admittedly, Seth plays a minor role in the story, but his inclusion is necessary.
  
  • and Wayne - the lead character of our story. The DM of the upcoming campaign. The visionary. The guy who plans to have the next big thing in the TTRPG actual play space.

There are at least a half dozen other individuals involved in this story, but ultimately play very minor roles. If at some point while I am writing this one of them pop up, I will update the list above to include them.
Back to the story. I was ecstatic to find out I had been selected for an Discord interview and scheduled it at my earliest convenience. This is where I first meet Ava. To be honest, I don't recall much about the interview, but I remember it being pretty standard and what I was expecting an interview to be. Mostly it was just going into detail about some of the stuff I had included in my primary application and talking about expectations and goals. I was told that after the Discord interview, the next step would be a participation in a practice one shot, to get a feel for how I would play at the table. After the interview was over, Wayne hopped into the voice channel, and this would be when I would meet the man, the legend.
I pride myself on being very good at reading people. I can usually pick up on when someone is trying to sell me something, pretty quickly. I tend to over analyze words and expression looking for intent. I have been gaslit and manipulated several times in my past by people very close to me, and so I have developed this defense when meeting people for the first time. Very rarely do I take someone at their word, or completely buy what they are selling when I hardly know them, and even less so to a complete stranger. In this case, when meeting Wayne for the first time, my defenses failed me.
Perhaps it was because it had been over a year since I last ran a campaign. Perhaps it was because it had been even longer than that that I actually got to be a player in a campaign. Perhaps it was because of that itch of wanting to perform again for an audience. Or, perhaps, it was because Wayne was very good at pitching his plans. Whatever the reason, my first impression of Wayne was that this was a guy who had a plan, and had the means to enact that plan, and I wanted to be a part of it in any way that I could.
Wayne, you see, had two big passions in life. The first was DnD. The second, as he would admit, was being an entrepreneur. He owned his own business in New York City. One of several ventures he had pursued, and it afforded him a premium NYC apartment and the time and luxury to spend on his second passion - playing DnD. And so, he thought, why not marry these two passions together? He had a great head for business. And according to him, the last campaign he had run was fantastic. So fantastic, he thought, that surely other people would enjoy listening to it. And so he hatched a plan - he would use his business knowledge and savvy to launch a Youtube channel that would be home to his next great campaign. But he had the foresight, at least, to know of just how saturated the DnD actual play space has become in recent years. If he wanted to be successful at this venture, he would have to stand out from the rest. And he had a solution to that. He wasn't going to put out just any old DnD actual play. He was going to create "DnD Cinema".
To do that, he said, he needed the right people that share in the same core philosophies that he had. Namely, a "pretentious level of hyperfixation on roleplaying and narrative storytelling". Most other actual plays, to him, were playing "beer and pretzels" DnD. You know, the type of game were you sit around with your friends having a good time and a laugh, where you might spend five minutes on an out of character joke, etc. Shit like that wasn't going to fly in this campaign. When you came to the table, you were going to be in character from start to finish. And recording sessions were going to be seven hours long. Could I handle that?
And I admit that I told him I could. Like I said, he had a way with words. He was clearly passionate about it. And he talked a good talk. And he was friendly enough. So he said he would be in touch. And the wait began.
Over the course of the next month or so, I would come to become friends with Ava and Wayne. We would hop into Discord and play games, talk about the upcoming campaign, etc. It was going to be several months before the campaign actually began recording, and so Wayne was still conducting the interview process while also working on worldbuilding for the campaign. He was also spending over $3000 dollars commissioning an animated table for the youtube video. This was clearly something he was very proud of, as he took every and all opportunity to talk about how amazing and innovative it was going to be.
You see, in Wayne's vision of "DnD cinema", the videos that would be put up on youtube would not include the faces of the players. Or battlemaps. Instead, it would be animated table that he could manipulate in editing at various cue points. It would feature portraits of the characters that would light up when they speak. It was the next big thing in the TTRPG space - a (frankly) audio only experience that was accentuated with the occasional fancy animation that cost thousands of dollars. No one else was doing it, he would say, and that would help him stand out even more.
It was also during these more innocent days that I would come to understand Wayne's obsession with Brennan Lee Mulligan. He idolized the guy. In fact, he would brag on multiple occasions that his significant other's job had her 3 or 4 degrees removed from Brennan - basically, she worked for someone who worked for someone who was involved with the Dungeons and Drag Queens season of Dimension 20, and he would often mention how he was hoping to use that connection to someday have a sit down and meet and greet with BLeeM himself. As time would go on, I would eventually find out that Wayne actually considered Brennan Lee Mulligan as his competition.
About a month would past before I would hear anything about my application. I never brought it up during our gaming sessions, as another core tenet of mine is that I don't want my friendship or acquaintance with someone to give me an edge over other candidates. I want my experience and what I bring to the table to stand on its own merit. This will come up later in our story. Eventually, I would get a message from Wayne asking me if I would be interested in participating in a try out one shot for the campaign. Apparently, he had completely forgotten that I had applied, and wanted to schedule in a last minute try out for me. My fellow players during the one shot would be Ava, some other member of the discord community, and Jelly.
I'll be honest, the one shot was nothing to write home about. And even Wayne would admit it was something he threw together last minute so that he could say I had my chance. I immediately found Ava to be a fantastic scene partner, and even for a one shot, put the time and effort into her character and actions. Jelly, on the other hand, was not that good. To be fair to Jelly, my criteria for grading her performance was strictly on the curve that Wayne himself said he was grading people on. I found her to be a very selfish player, who failed to pick up on narrative cues, and was solely focused on her time in the spotlight. But it was a trial one shot that didn't mean anything. My biggest take away from Jelly was that she was a player that I would not enjoy playing with in the future, and that I wouldn't seek out as a player at a table that I was DMing for. Not horror story bad (yet), but not good. Average.
When the application process was done, it would eventually come down to two choices. I was one. Wayne loved my southern twang, and thought it would sound good in a production. And we had become friends. The other was someone with a theater and acting background, who had been to Julliard. I was not selected. And I was okay with that. The decision did not impact my friendship with either Ava or Wayne, and we continued to hang out and play games together. I then learned of Wayne's new plan.
In the original posting ad for the campaign, it had been mentioned that a possibility for guest character appearing in the campaign could happen. The original idea was that, as members of the Discord community would play in one shots, Wayne would then be able to invite stand out performance to appear in an episode or two of the new campaign, as a gift to the community and to give those players a chance to play in a campaign with other players of similar caliber. This all changed as the months got closer to release date. The idea for guests at the table changed completely. Instead, Wayne's plan was to use the guest spots at the table as a networking opportunity. Don't forget - Wayne is an entrepreneur. This was a business venture for him, and successful businesses need to show growth. And he wanted to achieve growth at an accelerated pace. The plan was simple - as the channel grew, Wayne would scour the internet for similar channels with slightly higher subscriber count than his. Well, I say Wayne would do this. Wayne would actually pawn this off on to someone else. A tangent that I will perhaps need to touch on later in this story - Wayne was very good at finding ways of pawning off work on to others, and then taking the credit. He very much believe himself to be a manager, and other members of the Discord that showed any interest in the success of this venture as his employees. He would then engage in communications with these other channels in the hopes of achieving some Quid Pro Quo. You send someone to be a guest on our channel for a few episodes, and we'll shout you out. In return, he would send someone from his channel to theirs, and get a shout out in return. Something to note here - all of this was done without ever including his players in the discussion. He was offering them up to strangers without even asking if they even wanted to do that.
Time passes, and eventually recording for the campaign begins. It would be about two months into recording when Wayne approached me about being the first guest character. (At this point, I had been an active member of the Discord community for over six months now). He wanted me to be the first guest character for two reasons. The first was because I was familiar, and he wanted to test out the format before bringing in strangers. The second was because of my prior livestreaming experience. I was a part of an affiliated Twitch channel that met the criteria of having a slightly higher subscriber count than his. But for the most part, our old Twitch channel was dead. Sure, we still streamed games into the void, but there was practically no engagement. And I told him so when he asked me if I wanted to be introduced as someone from that Twitch channel. I was more involved in his community as that point, anyway. And so, I finally got what I was wanting - to sit down and play quality DnD with like minded individuals for the purposes of entertaining others.
At this point, only a handful of episodes had aired. The recording schedule had them a grace period of a month or so before release, and I admittedly hadn't watched them. Honestly, I wasn't that interested. I don't know if that's bad or not. There are a lot of actual plays out there of varying quality. And each one requires a lot of time commitment to watch. Already I was regularly watching Critical Roll, and I was having a hard time to find time to watch some of the other really good shows I was enjoying, like Dimension 20 and The Glass Cannon. On top of that, it was an game that I wasn't a part of, so yeah, I admit I hadn't watch any of it. But even if I had, it wouldn't have prepared me for what playing at the table was actually like. The released episodes were highly edited, with sound effects and music. It wasn't until I became actually involved at the table that I would find out just how manufactured the game actually was. And I use the word "game" very generously.
For starters, once recording began, all out of character talk and banter was immediately and explicitly forbidden. We were to remain in character at all times. Secondly, I would find out that Wayne had developed a "formula for success" in regards to time spent recording. No scene would ever last longer than ten minutes. If players spent too much time having their characters engaging with each other and the time elapsed, we were moving on the next scene, regardless of if it was a natural conclusion or not. Speaking of the characters, I would come to learn that the characters that the player brought to this campaign were secondary to the story that Wayne wanted to tell. "This campaign isn't character focused, it's story focused" he would say. The campaign simply did not have time for that. I don't like to toss out the word "railroaded" very often, but it quickly became apparent that there was a good bit of railroading being done here. The only character decisions or choices or conversations that would ever make it to the final cut were ones that provided what he thought would be the most interesting while pushing his narrative forward. And for a DnD game, there wasn't a whole lot of game being done here. Sure, the players had character sheets, and classes, but it was all superficial. Combat was a rarity on the level of a shiny Pokemon. I think mostly because Wayne didn't find combat narratively compelling. But in that case, I have to ask, why use DnD as your game system? If all you want to do is roll clicky dice and improv, there are much better systems out there. And speaking of the dice - I'm sad to say that in most cases they were superfluous, as well. The only real purpose the dice served to Wayne was when they could be used to clip epic moments of success or failure. A natural 20 or a natural 1 was gold for him, because then he could clip it into a Youtube or Tiktok Short and grow those subscriber numbers. For a game in which "every decision hung on the roll of a dice", there weren't a lot of dice rolls, there weren't a lot of decisions, and when there were decisions, most of the time, the outcome was predetermined by Wayne. Everything Wayne did in regards to this game was in service to growing his Youtube channel. And the sad part? It worked.
In a shockingly short amount of time, Wayne was able to grow his Youtube channel from just over a 100 subscribers to over a 1000. This was mostly done by his excessive push of Youtube and Tiktok shorts. For a short period of time, I was deemed trustworthy enough to have access to the Youtube channel's admin, and I could view the statistics. The turnover rate for shorts into actual video views was miniscule. Only a tiny fraction were tuning in for the actual show. At this point, he had just become a Youtube Shorts creator.
And I want to mention at this point - I understand and respect the hustle. The world of Youtube is a dog eat dog world, and you have to have to play the game to stay in the game - I get it. I don't have any issue with being proud of what you've created, and pushing it out to people. I really don't. My issue was with how deceptive Wayne was being with it. And how deceptive he was, in general, as I would come to find out.
You see, before the inaugural campaign had even launched, Wayne approached me one day to see if I would be interested in running a campaign on his channel, as I had experience before in it, and had expressed an interest in doing it again. And I will admit, I was excited about the prospect. But before my words of "Yeah, I'd love to talk about" even had a chance to dissipate into the ether, Jelly would hop into the channel, in the middle of the discussion to say, "You know who should run a campaign? Seth." And then immediately log off.
I don't have a lot to say about Seth. I think he is an amazing, caring, friendly guy. He also happens to be an incredible roleplayer and storyteller, and his character is Wayne's campaign is truly phenomenal. I envy how easy it is for Seth to get into and portray the wide arrange of emotions of a character. He also happens to be a great GM. I understand why Jelly would suggest him to run a campaign. What I didn't understand, at the time, were her motives. Wayne, Ava, Jelly, and Seth had all played in a previous campaign together, and Wayne and Jelly had become enamored by just how good Seth was. And even prior to that, Ava and Seth had a past campaign together. Jelly wanted to be a player in a Seth run campaign. And if Wayne was going to have a second campaign on the channel, she wanted it to be Seth's, and she wanted to be a player in it.
And so, immediately, any and all discussion about me running a campaign was ceased, and the legwork was put forth for Seth to run a campaign. Wayne would approach him about it, and he was interested. Seth would already have in mind the players that he wanted for it - two friends of his from outside the server, Ava, and another player from the Wayne campaign. Noticeably missing from that list - Jelly.
Strangely, Wayne would then tell Seth that if he was going to run a campaign on the channel, he would have to have an application process for the players, and open it up so that anyone could apply. After Seth had already stated he already had players in mind - players who already said yes. I don't know about you, but as a DM, I would never let someone dictate to me who I could have at my table. If I have players in mind already, it's because I have a reason. But Wayne demanded an application process be followed, and a second LFG post would appear in LFG for the Seth run campaign - that was noticeably advertising for 4 players. After Seth had chosen his players. The advertisement came with another well edited and narrated youtube promo that was, and still is, the highest viewed video on the channel. And all of it was a sham. Which I knew it was. And I confronted Wayne about it. It was then that I learned some unsavory backstory involving Ava and Jelly and the prior campaign. That is not my story to tell. I have shared my accounts of events with Ava, and she is considering posting an account from her perspective following this. The most I am willing to say on this is that involves situations that should never be okay at a DnD table, and that Wayne would gloss over and sugarcoat these situations as no big deal. It would lead to Ava not being comfortable with being at a table with Jelly which both I, and Seth, would understand.
Wayne, however, found this to be unfair and manipulative on Ava's part. Those past incidents should have had no bearing on Jelly's consideration for the Seth run campaign. Which is why he would demand an application process. He would then confide to me when I questioned the duplicity of the LFG advertisement that it wasn't completely misleading. There would still be someone chosen from the list of applicants - because he was going to make sure that Ava wasn't part of the campaign. After Seth had already told both Wayne and her that she was. After the players for that game had already come together for a session zero. He claimed that Ava had prior incidents of being difficult to work with, and that because he wasn't involved in the campaign, he couldn't be there to handle any situations that might arise of conflicts between players at the table. At the time I thought that was an odd statement to make - if you are trusting enough of another person, like Seth, to run a campaign on your channel shouldn't you be trusting enough in their ability to handle problems between players? Looking back now, I can only assume he made that statement because he was certain that Jelly would be a player at the table, and that problems might arise between Jelly and Ava. He asked that I keep the conversation between us. But that was something I could not do. None of that situation felt right to me. Wayne, Ava, and I had been friends playing games together for nearly a year now. I never saw any inclination of Ava being a "problem player" - she was great at the table, and a great person to hang out with. And I found it weird that Wayne would say those things about her, and not approach her about it. So of course I talked to her. For weeks she had been sharing her excitement of the new campaign with me, often with Wayne in the voice channel with us. Ava would then share with me her past experiences with Wayne and Jelly. Again, it is not my story to tell, but I am a good judge of character. I believed Ava's account of events. It made sense to me, with how Wayne and Jelly acted.
I wish I could say this story had a happy and/or satisfying conclusion. I'm not even really sure if there is a point to it, or even if it will be a good read. It has been clear for some time now that Wayne has been entirely obsessed with the growing of his Youtube channel, damn any and all bridges burned, and walking back some of his initial promises of what he claimed the campaign and the Youtube channel would be. It's also very clear to me that Wayne is someone who absolutely has to have control over everything, especially the narrative (fictional and real life).
There are so many minor grievances to air about Wayne that I haven't already touched on, and I feel like I've already taken up too much of your time already. Here's just a brief overview, I'd be more than happy to go into more details if you want them:

• Multiple players from the Wayne campaign confided in me about some of the problems they had with Wayne and how the game was being run. When Wayne found out, he blew his lid, and said that he was both Manager and HR, and no one should be complaining to anyone outside of the table. If they were going to complain to anyone, it should be him.
  
  • It turns out, Wayne has a prior history of being an asshole. Long before the Youtube channel, and the campaign, even before the previous campaign, he told his then group that they were playing the game wrong. He then found a new group, sang their praises to the old group, and then even brought both groups together to show the old group "the right way to play"
  • In addition to Wayne, he has two editors working for him. One of which he pays. The other one has had no compensation. The one not getting paid is doing the same work as both Wayne and the paid editor combined.
  • I mentioned way early on in the story that Ava was the Discord Administrator for the Discord server. After the Seth campaign incident, Wayne unceremoniously removed Ava as Administrator, told her it was "by mistake", and never put it back. As far as I can tell, there was nothing to warrant this other than control. I suspect it was because there were certain Seth campaign related channels or other channels he didn't want Ava to see.
  • The unceremonious removal of myself and Ava from the Youtube channel admin. Admittedly, we contributed very little to it, but it was removed without a word mentioned.
  • Recently making a post requiring his "talent" to purchase a minimum $5 dollar Patreon subscription. He has admitted to me the reasoning for this was to inflate Patreon subscriber numbers to entice new subscribers. He has since walked that back after much outcry from the "talent"
  • Asking Seth if it wouldn't be too much to convert his envisioned DnD campaign into a Daggerheart campaign, because Daggerheart is the new hotness, and will attract more viewers.

Ultimately, I suppose I feel disheartened and deceived. Deceived because I originally signed up for what I thought was going to be a bunch of friends sitting around and recording themselves playing quality DnD, and it has shifted so far from that original purpose. Wayne is obsessed over subscriber numbers and views, it's all he ever talks about. He claims that his goal is to reach a level of success to which all 10+ people involved will be able to achieve financial freedom (which he claims is roughly $2000 a month). I'm sure you've done the math, just like I have. Even if you believe $2k a month is financial freedom (I certainly don't), that comes out to $240,000 a year. That's an insane level of success to promise your players. Oh, I'm sorry, your "talent".
I feel disheartened because....there's actually good work being done here. Some of the players are some of the best I've ever played with. Wayne can actually be a good storyteller, when he's not pushing for likes or clicks. The editors do a really fantastic job. I have seen and listened to the work being done on the Seth campaign (luckily Wayne is only tangentially involved), and Seth's campaign is turning out to be something really special. There is something good being done here, but it seems so tainted by Wayne and his obsession for Youtube and Tiktok success. So, maybe this is an RPG Horror Story, maybe it's a cautionary tale. I dunno. I have committed to finishing out my run in the campaign, (I was brought back to the table multiple times because the players enjoy playing with me, and also I suspect I was involved in one of his highest viewed shorts), but my hearts not in it. I've told Wayne I've no interest in any of his future projects, and I wish him well on his Youtube journey. But in the pursuit of clicks, and likes, and subscribers, I feel like he has fundamentally lost what attracts people to actually watch and invest in TTRPG actual plays - authenticity.

I am obese and miserable. I need workout routine advice for this summer. My future depends on it.
I am a 17m who is at a height of 6’2 and weighing about 282lbs as of today. My horrendously unhealthy eating habits began since I was 9.
For eight years I have been binge eating to cope with stress and sadness. I’d consume approximately 4000 calories today and to make things worse I have lived a sedentary life style. I am also autistic which further exacerbated my anxiety which in turn causes me higher levels of constant stress.
Over the years I have gained depression and severe self confidence and inferiority complex issues. My confidence is at a point to where I refuse to walk outside without layers of jackets on me regardless of how hot it is outside because I can’t stand how disgusting and gross I look.
The fat mainly built up in my stomach / abdomen area and the added gravity has put a toll on my spine and caused it to bend inward which caused me kyphosis. The kyphosis has worsened my appearance due to the build up of a hump and gave me an incredibly abnormal posture.
The only thing that is keeping me from dying is the fact that I inherited my fathers metabolism so my weight essentially stabilized itself. But my metabolism will slow down eventually so starting a workout routine is urgent and vital if I want to have a future.
So I ask you guys this, what workout routine would be best for me, a 17m who’s 6’2, weighing 282lbs, suffering chronic back pain, and suffering from muscle weakness. I need a workout routine that can guarantee me to lose at least 50lbs by the end of October and also build up muscle.

Shared Kit 

Brittle Form Kit: 

Forged Form Kit: 

Got a tattoo on the right side of my neck 3 days ago. I work outdoors and with my state and the time of year its very humid and hot. So sweating is unavoidable. Ive kept loation applied a bit more than reccomended to protect the tattoo from the sun.
However today was exceptionally hot and i was worried about bacteria buildup so i decided to do a wash with antibacterial soap to clear away the sweat and dirt, and that is when it came off. I then reapplied some lotion to protect the skin underneath since the protective layer just pulled away.
I know theres going to be some color that gets lost with the scab (from what i understand). But im not sure if i just ruined my chances at a proper heal.
Thinking i over hydrated the scab in my fear of the sun. Is this going to ruin my tattoo or should i moisturize less regardless of exposure?

You know... had to find a place and there is a subreddit for everything. Glad I found this place. I'm just going to write because I want to beat the living shit out of this man every time I see him and I need to calm my ass down. My left leg is itching to land a roundhouse on this man.
A few months ago, I was talking about cars with a neighbor who lived across the street from me. We usually have talks about his car, my car, and my bike, and we talk about old-school cars. Just one dude having a fun conversation with another.
I had left my garage open, and my dogs. I have 2 of them. One I rescued from a family who couldn't keep it. The other landed on my lap and I've been taking care of it and is now considered my own.
Well, these 2 got out, and started roaming around about 70 ft from my property. Started sniffing around and found the scent of another dog and was curious. I didn't notice this at first of course.
They end up in this man's front yard. Who knows maybe they marked their territory a little drizzle here and there on their grass. Anyway, this man comes out and starts yelling "Get your dog off my yard". I didn't hear him at first or could make out what he was saying, and I realized my dogs had gotten out. I call my dogs, and they are well-trained, they both respond quickly and come running back.
I was a bit offended damn man. They meant no harm. Don't have to yell and shit you know. They are smelling another dog. They are interested in finding out more about this other animal that took a shit and piss in your yard. That's what dogs do. Anyway, I yelled back sorry! I meant it, I was sincere about it. I even started walking over there to show concern of course. He does not respond to me other than saying loudly, "Leash your dog". At that point, I'm over it, my buddy and I crack some jokes about the dude to laugh it off.
Like wtf got up this guy ass at 9 pm? Do you stare out the window all night looking for dogs that may end up in your front yard? We have a good laugh and we talk some more car, my dogs are cool with my buddy. Animals know instinctively who is friendly and who isn't. Oddly that's what I've noticed.
The next morning, after I have taken my kids to school. This jackass walks up to me in his version of workout clothes. I have never seen him ever since I've been taking my kids to school every morning but today was a special day. He has his airpods on, sneakers, and running shorts. Then he comes up to me and talks some mad shit. He's obviously spent the entire night thinking about how he's going to put me in my place or some shit. I just tell the guy to walk away. He says to me "What are you going to do about it?" Say what? What is this? Do what, I asked you to get out of my face right?
Jesus man... this dude, is pushing like the mid-50s to early 60's. I'm younger obviously, I'm thinking you trying to go toe to toe? I tell him to walk away. He tells me his wife is Korean and I'm Korean so he's trying to make some level of connection here, implying he knows something about my culture and he is disappointed as he should know there is some level of cultural impact I should have being a Korean and the way I have responded to him is not to his liking. Thus, I must show some level of respect or bend a knee or some weird shit, as if he understood Koreans to be something different than I am. Entitled as fuck this guy. He wants to feel superior and wants to be bowed down to. A total sense of entitlement right? Superiority complex of some kind. Fuck he annoys the fuck out of me. I keep calm and tell him to get the fuck out of my face but nicer. "Just leave man, no need for you to be in front of me, just gotta go move along," is what I told him.
No offense but I'm looking at this white dude here, and look I can say it because my uncle is white, married my aunt and we had a great relationship. No disrespect but who the fuck is this dude to start bringing up Korean this Korean that, we're in the US man. He acts disrespectful to me and gives me the middle finger as he walks away after me telling the guy on at least four other occasions to get going and stay out and away from my personal space. I'm like whatever, I'm over it. He means nothing really. He means less to me than let's say, a piece of rubber or something. I could care less.
Then he went ahead and told the HOA that my dogs had taken multiple shits in his yard, and I have never bothered to pick up after them. I make sure to pick up shit especially if it's on someone else's yard right. Of course, I respond back to HOA, and tell them, they got bigger things to worry about and they really have bigger shit to worry about than some bs complaint.
I'm sure that got that little ball sack of low-life fucking pissed right. I mean I got 2 tiny dogs. Each weighs less than 10lbs. One is around 6 lbs other is around 7.5 lbs. They are not fucking pit bulls here. Apparently, he also said my dogs were vicious.
That never went far. Anyway, yesterday, my kids got home from school, they wanted to visit a neighborhood friend and left the garage open. A lady was walking by. She was Asian, I can tell. How? I have cameras. I was also upstairs and looked out my window which is directly above the garage because I didn't hear the garage door close.
Well these 2 little shits went barking at her. She didn't flinch just kept on walking. I tell the kids close the garage. Today the big man over there and another lady who lives across the street from him, (I suppose birds of a feather flock together) rang my doorbell after I dropped my son off at school. I come downstairs, and this asshole pounds my door to show his impatience. I'm thinking cops? I open the door it's this asshole and his neighborhood lady friend.
I ask them what's the visit for, she tells me that when she was walking yesterday, my dogs "attacked" her and the dickhead standing next to her adds more dramatic impact and says, they even bit her. I'm fucking laughing inside. I saw the whole thing myself from upstairs. The lady my dogs barked at was Asian, her hair was black, I can still see her face from my upstairs bedroom window. I saw my dogs run up and bark at her and sniff her shoes and bark some more before my kids called them in. This lady was covered in long white sleeve and long white walking pants, white sneakers, a hat to cover the sun, and a face mask because she's Asian of course and we all hate the sun. Her walking stature was that of a woman in her mid 40 to 50's, and this lady in front of me that was supposedly attacked was again not Asian, and the lady claiming that she got attacked is about 30 years older, not even capable of walking no more than 200 feet from her property. She does not wear walking attire obviously made in China or Korea. I know because I'm Korean and older women wear exactly that type of clothing in Korea or Asia when they walk in daylight. They like to avoid the sun, but get their walks in. Jesus.... the fucking lies in this shit is humor at this point.
The lady in front of me is too old, let alone is capable to walk past my property or take daily walks. I work at home remotely man, I would have noticed if this lady was to type to take walks at 3 pm. I pick my kids up and I'm active outside during that time.
This lying POS goes a bit further and says, he thinks my dogs even broke skin. I look at her finger. I see nothing. No bite marks nothing, not even a scratch. No blood. Just straight-up lies. I apologize to the lady regardless. I tell her I'll cover her medical expenses (which means medical report, and doctor bill) she stutters a little, says no need. If she broke skin, and my dogs bit her, she would be at my house the minute it happened. Fucking lying ass dumb idiots. This man now dragged this lady into his lies you know.
Then I look at this mother fucker in the eye and my fucking legs are twitching, and in my mind, I want to land a roundhouse, I gauged the distance, and it would land on the right side of his face. Shit would have been a 10/10 perfect kick I'm thinking.... yea dipshit, something else you should know about Koreans, most of us take some sort of martial arts early in our youth and that never really stops. Seeing how you say you know so much about my culture, did that not enter your fucking head?
Anyway, I look at this sorry excuse for a man, a fucking coward and I ask him why he's here? If the lady is the one who got bit, then perhaps this is between me and her, right? He says he's there with her because he cares. Like hell, you do. You dragged this lady in your lies and she's going along with you but it's not the truth. You sorry ass POS, now dragged another individual into your BS. You still can't get over our last encounter and you are dying to come over and start some new shit. I asked you to walk away, but you didn't like it. You felt disrespected. In your spare time, you've been scheming ways to get back because you were never satisfied.
Anyway, he brings my dogs up again and says he'll call the police. I tell him to do what he's gotta do. That pissed him off because I called his bluff and he can't pull through and execute. I'm fucking with his ability to do anything about it. He now feels small again.
He said I should leave the neighborhood. I bought this fucking house, so I tell him you have money? You wanna buy me out? He has none, he says, "I don't want another house" Okay well then shut the fuck up right. I tell him at this point he should leave. The audacity of this little shitbag to tell me to move out of my own house is something else. Once again this sense of entitlement, where do you get it from?
Anyway, he's giving me the middle finger this whole time like a bitch hiding behind his safety blanket or something right. He's doing all kinds of weird shit right now. Like throws both fingers up, turns around does a 180, and gives me another two fingers. He's doing this like 10 times. What the fuck is wrong with this guy right? In front of the old lady which he seemed to have convinced to carry out the lies with him. I can tell at this point, she's about had it. She no longer wants to be involved. Again, if a person got bit by a "vicious dog" and was bleeding, she would not have acted this way right? She got called out on her hand, she tried to play along with his lead, how my dogs broke the skin, getting bit by them... all that, but she's got no bite marks, and my dogs don't bite. I know this. At the end she tells me she doesn't want my dogs on her yard, but she's okay with other dogs on her yard. So it's a personal thing, okay no worries I tell her.
Then he brings up the culture thing again. "You know my wife is Korean.... she's disgusted with you...blah blah" I respond, "I am Korean and my entire family is Korean and they would be disgusted with you," and then I tell him, "You don't understand us Koreans, we have mutual respect and honor, you have none, and that's why you're not getting any"
Guy walks away looking as small as he is, caught in his lies. When I knew all along what happened, his face turns fucking tomato red. Just what the fuck? How sick is this guy in the head? Anyway, I don't expect anything, just thought I'd write, for the internet and the entire world.

Young Avengers film formed by Kamala Khan & Lead by Kate Bishop, will bring together the Young Avengers via Quantum Entanglement.
First seen in The Marvels, where they are Entangled by thier light based powers. connection to Kree based teleportation devices such as the Bangles and the Infinity Stones themselves. Quantum entanglement key element is transportation. Transportation will be the key to the Film, as it is a theme of the Multiverse Saga in general.
The Movie will see Kamala once again being in an entanglement scenario, where a Time traveling Nathinel Richards arrives in Kate’s Pad and warns the teens about Kang’s invasion onto the multiverse. As he was searching for the Avengers in other timelines, but his Armors Temporal pad malfunction after a Kang Fight and lead him to Kamala & Kate’s timeline.
Ironlad is also a teenager, but feels like Kamala isn’t ready for the responsibilities to help save his world. Ironlad attempts to time jump to another universe but actually transports Kamala and Kate to San Francisco in the same timeline. In need to fix his temp pad, he asks where is Tony Stark. Kamala informs him that he died in Endgame. Kate tells him that her parents own a Security company and both of thier partners are Avengers. The girls reach for thier phones, but they left them back in New York. Kamala goes asking people to borrow thier iPhones so she can call Carol Danvers. But Hawkeye and Carol don’t answer. Kate tells them they can try to go find Scott Lang. IronLad is arrogant and doesn’t need the kids help to find a hero, Kamala grabs him before he can fly off. To test thier power he begins a fight with them in the middle of the city.
Kate quickly hits him with a emp arrow, but IronLad advanced armor reboots itself. Kamala uses her newly improved Embiggen powers to protect civilians and stall IronLad. Kate uses several trick arrows in coordination with Kamala and they manage to remove his helmet. (The actor that played Harley Keener Ironman 3) reveals his face, and stops fighting once Antman intervenes. Kate, Kamala, & Cassie meet for the first time at Scott Lang’s lab as they interrogate Ironlad about the validity to his warnings about Kang.
Scott is traumatized that he didn’t actually defeat Kang, and tells the kids that he will buy them a flight back home and to let the adults handle this situation. Kamala ask Cassie what’s it like to have a superhero dad. Even tho her’s is human, Kamala thinks her family is as much of heroes as the Avengers. Cassie & Kate realize their favorite color is purple. Ironlad gets bored of the bonding, and doesn’t think Antman is up to the challenge of helping him. He begins to start his temp pad, but realizes that high quantum frequencies are being detected by his armor. Ironlad demands Scott use his science to help rebuild his pad. For Quantum is the basis to his tech as well. Antman tries to reason with him, but ironlad describes the eradication on his world. Antman and Ironlad begin to fight for access to the basement of his home. Cassie and Scott shrink, while Kamala & Kate try to fight and reason with him. The team crashes into the basement, where ironlad races to the focal point of quantum in the room. Picking up the device that sent the Pym family into the Quantum realm in Quantumania. Ironlad’s nanotech absorbs the device and the temp pad starts to activate. Scott gets serious and starts to enlarge, but Ironlad blasts him back upstairs. The kids all shift and are transported to Westview New Jersey.
They all start having a screaming match, as Cassie is furious that he shot her dad. Kamala tries to calm the team down, but it’s Kate Bishop who makes everyone shut up with a puzzle arrow. This arrow expand an entire acre of land with Purple lasers. She explains it’s a game, that you have to work together or you’ll burn. Cassie laughs and shrinks, ironlad armor is tough enough to not be phased, Kamala has to actually maneuver around to escape the maze of lasers. Kate shows her reflexes and experience by doing flips and evading the laser beams.They all laugh realizing Cassie and Ironlad cheat. As tension dwindles, ironlad explains why he is so serious. That in his future he is a genius prodigy, and learn about the existence of the multiverse in a dream as a kid. Then a week ago Kang invaded his world and eradicated a majority of human life, and took away knowledge and education rights to the slaves of his world. The teens tell thier experience during the blip and how it took away thier own youth, and that’s why the Avengers are an important symbol of hope for them. Kamala starts to fangirl about Carol, Hawkeye, and Ironman… but is stop by Agatha.
Agatha says she saw the kids in her crystal ball, and is aware of the Kang Situation. Using magic to transport them into her suburban home. IronLad is confused why a witch is helping them. Cassie & Kate both keep thier guards up, but hear her out. Agatha tells them that they are on a children’s Crusade, but she can help them all get back home. Ironlad interjects, he needs heros that are competent and ready for war. Agatha uses magic to upgrade thier outfit, then tells them her step son should be home from school soon. Ironlad is tired of waiting as the girls continue to bond and learn more about their abilities. He doubts Billy/Wiccan is as powerful as Agatha claims, and ask why won’t she just use her magic to fight Kang. Agatha says that’s not her role. Billy enters awkwardly, wondering why all these teens are in his house. Kamala ask just how powerful is he, and he simply says he can do whatever he wants.
IronLad test him, and fires a rocket. Wiccan makes it turn into a headband. Picking it up and wearing it, he repeats he can do whatever he wants. Agatha, ask what exactly is Ironlads plan to stop Kang since his Quantum enhanced temp pad can teleport but still can’t take him home. Ironlad says he just needs more power, and rushes Wiccan. Sending his armor to liquidity and consume the sorcerer. Wiccan force pushes back and as they struggle for control, the temp pad activates and sends the group to a new Location; Kahmer Tajh.
Agatha makes fun of the monastery architecture and compares it to her home. Only Kamala & Agatha know this is the home of the sorcerer supreme. Wiccan and Ironlad argue over the consent of letting him suck his energy. And the girls grow more wary of how much they can trust ironlad. Agatha tells them they can find power in teamwork, and disappears into the castle. Kate & Kamala breaks the team into groups. To find Wong or other sorcerers that can help thier fight against the Kang invasion. Wiccan follow where Agatha went. Kate & Cassie search the for more weapons and gear. Kamala and ironlad find Wong & America Chavez.
The 2nd half of the movie has the group coming to face thier teenage fears, as the castle has a horror hex. Ironlad is too afraid to time jump, as memories from his home being overran by Kang haunts him. Wiccan and Agatha are immune to castles spells, as they are magical in tune, however they can’t use thier magic to its fullest extent due to the runes places around the Thaj that prohibits forbidden spells. Wong meets Kamala and tells the young avengers that he didn’t put the horror hex on. There is a Skrull sorcerer in the castle doing this. Kate finds an Asgardian bow and arrows, and takes it for “emergency”. Cassie tells her she is a criminal too, and jokes she spent a day in Jail. Ironlad finds the skrull sorcerer, under stress from the truama spell he is getting beat in the fight. But Wiccan arrives and they team up to defeat him. With a massive display of science meets magic, the young avengers put thier animosity behind them and regroup with Kamala and Wong. Wong is then impaled by a spear by Agatha. Wong’s skin turns Green and it’s revealed he is a skrull too.
America Chavez is distraught, and prepares to fight all the young avengers as she don’t know who to trust. Kamala relates to her humanity, and proves she is just a kid too. She tells her to help them fight off the other skrulls that may be in the castle. Agatha and Wiccan use thier magic sight to determine who is a skrull and who is a real sorcerer. The young Avengers fight off the skrulls, and learn America Chavez can travel the multiverse freely. IronLad sends his armor around her, but she punches and the star impact sends them to Baltimore, USA. The result sends all the hero’s and the Skrulls they were fighting as well.
Inside the Bradley home, Eli is playing video games when the hero’s instantly appear in his house. This sequence is shot from his perspective, as if it’s a home invasion. He runs for his granfathers room, to get his gun. But the safe is only full of a vials of Serum. A skrull breaks into the room and swings an axe at him. He ducks, and drinks the serum. He takes a diluted version of the serum as a hormone and steroid boost, but he never drank the original source of his grandfather saved juiced. He punches the Skrull so hard that his guts explode. Eli runs into the living room ready to box, but see’s the young avengers beating up the Skrulls. Shrugging his shoulders he jumps in and helps.
The team see’s how Brutal he fights and Ironlad likes him. Kamala says they can’t just recruit every teen they see, but looks closer and realizes she seen him on tv. He is the grandson of the first black super soldier, revealed in Captain America Brave new world where they were wrongfully accused of a terrorist attack at the White House. He explains that he has actually been taking his grandfather’s serum and synthesizing it for a hormone steroid supplement. But today he drank the original source out of fear for his life. Making him 10x stronger than he has ever been on the drug. Agatha has a funny don’t don’t drugs PSA, as the kids formulate a way on how to repay Eli for his housing damages. We learn his grandfather is still on trail, and he lives alone. Kate gets everyon back on focus and tells them maybe they can’t help ironlad. They have destroyed homes & Castles today and she needs to get back home to feed her dog Lucky. Kate makes a PowerPoint presentation on how to get ironlad out of their lives, and get Captain Marvel. Ironlad becomes more interested in Carol after Kamala keeps hyping her up to be the strongest avenger of all. Wiccan & Agatha use magic to fix the house as the hero’s finally contact Fury and the whereabouts of Captain Marvel. Fury asks why the hell didn’t she just call him to begin with. Kamala didn’t want to get in trouble for stealing the intel about all these characters
The final act has Kamala & Kate using each hero’s best quality to get Ironlad back to his world, and deflate the Kang dictator in his timeline. Kamala nicknames them Team Red & Team Blue after Captain America & Ironman and Team Purple after Hawkeye since he Don’t get much love.
Team Red; Ms. Marvel, America Team Blue; Wiccan, Eli, Team Purple; Kate Bishop, Cassie, Agatha
America Chavez punches 2 Star portals, one to ironlads homeworld and another to the location fury tells them Carol is. They all wear a harness rope that Kate gives them so they don’t get lost in the multiverse jump. America isn’t sure she can send so may people at once into a diffrent timeline, but Cassie uses her quantum shrinking disk and ironlad’s tech to help keep them from all turning fall off and turning into spaghetti.
While they are preparing, Kamala meets Carol in a New York park and catches up. Ironlad watches them from behind the portal and says this must be what it’s like to have a true friend. Kamala tells Carol that if she keeps asking her for support then she wouldn’t be a hero. Carol gives her the 2nd Bangel and tells her just let her know if she needs backup. Ironlad is still hesitant that going into the fight against Kang with a bangel isn’t gonna do much. Kamala tells them she isn’t a normal human, she is inhuman.
And the team all suit up as the prepare to Jump into the Star. IronLad suddenly laughs and fires his rockets around the building. Knocking out America and collapsing the roof, and shoves Kamala into the future with him.
It’s assume all the young avengers and Agatha are crushed under debris. The perspective changes to Eli who has to save all the hero’s bleeding out or stuck. Eli saves them By bear crawling and dragging them out of the fires. America uses her last strength to send the heros into the future
Kamala fights IronLad alone in a future hala. Ironlad reveals that he is the Kang variant, and his master plan was to go to a past timeline where both bangles existed. These weapons of mass destruction are his way of fighting off other Kang’s tryin to conquer his conquered timeline, following the events of Loki. Due the branching timelines, not even the tva knew he was a variant of Kang since his biological DNA is that of a Reed Richards. Kamala is losing the fight, as Ironlad has one of the bangles and can temporarily stop time. He continues to toy with Kamala and steals her other bangle. Mocking her for playing hero, he kicks her off a platform and into a pit of terrain crystals. Kamala uses the last of her will to let out a furry of punches, cracking the crystals around her and filling the battlefield with mist. Kamala goes through terrgenises, turning into stone. Ironlad fires a missle at her, but ironlad blocks it with a shield formed by Wiccan
Kate Bishop arrives saying Young Avengers Assemble, all the Young Avngers exit America portal. Kate then says that ones for Kamala, and Cassie grows and begins the final fight. The team hold off the firepower of ironlad while Kamalas scales break off. Ironlad can combat Wiccan’s magic with the bangles, and uses time stop techniques to stay ahead of the gang. Kate shoots Cassie’s shrinking disk onto one of the bangles, crushing ironlads left arm. Wiccan uses kamala’s satchel scarf to drag ironlad like a whip. Eli uses his magic shield to block the repulsor blast, and Kate uses the Asgardian bow to pierce his Armor. Cassie uppercuts and shrinks rapidly as the team closes in to fight close quarters. Ironlad makes an energy shield then blows back them all, Kamala is awake and grabs his wrist from far away. Realizing she don’t have light energy anymore, but can stretch her body like Reed Richards. She slams him like hulk did in the original Avengers. Nathinel monoluges about how there will be more conquerors just like history. Tva agents appears, Mobius enters telling the heros thanks for fixing this slight anomaly they better return home or they will all be prune in seconds. IronLad vaporizes and the timeline is erased as the heros return home
The movie ends with Kamala having a to explain to the khan family the events of the film and who all her new friends are. They all are ready to return to thier respected homes, when fury enters and says he heard there was a secret invasion. A running joke about how fury is now last to know anything
Post credit 1: Jessica jones is taking on a private investigator case when she spots a teen couple in an alleyway. She comments that they must be runaways, she zooms in and it’s Cloak and Dagger. They teleport away
Post credit 2: on another planet the Skrull Queen is talking about the failed relations of Kree following Captain Marvel restarting the Hala Sun. The humans are no longer allies after the declaration of war against all allies the President made. She says maybe it’s time we fight back son; and the camera pans to Hulkling
The Young Avengers will return in Avenger’s Secrt Wars

Dilemma with Airbnb host treatment - no long showers allowed and dog peed on my suitcase and clothes - how should I respond? [Spain]
Hey folks just wanted to get your thoughts on this situation I had recently.
I booked a last minute Airbnb for 3 nights recently in a big Spanish city (Airbnb was outside city center for €40 per night). It was shared with the host (a boomer Spanish lady and her puppy dog). Nowadays, I filter with Guest Favorites and only look at listings where the host is rated over 4.80. This host had 50 reviews, was a super host and the listing was a guest favorite and had a rating of 4.92
I arrived midnight (prearranged well in advance with the host as check in is only until 23h according to the listing). I immediately go to bed without showering as I had one in the previous stay and was going to exercise the next day anyway. I spend all of next day outside and return at night and take a long shower (20-30 mins) before going to bed. I sleep in the next day and the host requests that I don’t shower so long (we communicate in basic French as she doesn’t know English and I don’t know Spanish)… I say all good, I’ll keep it shorter next time. I go inside and I’m in the bathroom for about 20 mins, brushing my teeth, taking a dump etc. and am careful to only take a shower between 5-10 max minutes. I get a message from the host later that evening (translated):
Host:
Hi Appliance7717, I wanted to let you know that tomorrow the departure is at 11 o'clock also because I have to leave, I also wanted to let you know that if you would take another shower I would ask you to keep it shorter, thank you Appliance7717.
Guest:
I showered for 5 minutes today. You want it to be shorter than that?
I did spend more time in the bathroom using the toilet, brushing my teeth etc.
Or I just can’t use the bathroom for long?
Host:
No please, if that's the case it's all right.
It's just that it's a huge expense for me.
I’m in the metro when I read this message and get all flustered and take the wrong train etc. and am a bit frustrated but whatever, I’ll check out sharp 11am tomorrow and get it over with. I’d booked a hostel for the next day anyway. I also missed out on seeing the meteorite (!) whilst all this was happening 😆 but I really think I shouldn’t be sweating about this shit on vacation and walking on eggshells over something so petty…
Anyway, next day rolls up and I scramble to get things packed up and ready so I don’t upset her by checking in after 11am. I’m basically on track to check out by 10:30. Now she has a dog, 🐕 which I didn’t mention - doesn’t seem to be well trained, barked quite a lot and woke me from my sleep earlier in the day but I didn’t make a fuss at all. I’m the 5 mins where I happened to be in the kitchen without closing my room’s door, it went and peed over my suitcase and clothes. It also took a sock, chewed it up and took it somewhere else. Mind you, the host didn’t mention anything about the possibility that the dog would be doing this. I’ve lived with dogs in airbnbs before and never had this issue. Nothing in the listing or house rules about taking long showers or what to do regarding the dog like keeping the door closed etc. She dabbed the pee with paper towels, and said that I should have closed the door but did say “Désole (sorry in French). I had to ask for disinfectant spray. I was upset and was banging my hand on the forehead and expressing regret but nothing more. She saw a pair of any shorts I’m soaked in urine but absolutely no offer to clean it, extend checkout etc. It seemed perfectly acceptable that this happened. It really rubbed me the wrong way. Super hosts are meant to go above and beyond in my view, and here she was struggling to be somewhat décent. We didn’t argue or anything there, if anything I was just a bit terse and we said au revoir and I left to go do the cleaning in my next place (took about 3 hours to get vinegar, bleach, hydrogen peroxide etc.)
Thinking of the Golden Rule, I’d never do this to somebody else if I were her. I’d offer compensation or something….
Anyway, my dilemma is that I wouldn’t have any hesitation going after a hefty compensation were it some young dude or couple as host. This lady doesn’t seem financially well off, seeing as taking a long shower has an impact on her profits. And I just feel kinda bad posturing me screwing over this old lady and her puppy dog for some cash. But I absolutely do not appreciate how I was treated and goes fundamentally against my sense of decency and fairness… I also hate how Airbnb has devolved to classify such hosts as superhosts.
What would you do if you were in my shoes? What do you think I should pursue? Should I ask for compensation? Leave a poor review? I see that she already left me a review on the afternoon that I checkout out. I have a feeling that she left a negative review - I noticed this from a previous guests review as well as what the host wrote about that guest.
Host’s review of Guest plus Guest’s response:
Guest, she is a polite and clean girl, but a great consumption of hot water and electricity, I am personally, these guests are not interested since for €134 I believe that as a host I am not interested , as a host I have not had any problems now, now I have only to wait for my electricity , water and gas bills, I am a person with very few resources, and from now on I do not accept promotions, because for it it is not profitable.
Dear Host, during my stay you didn't tell me anything. Other than that, I've never had any issues with other hosts. I was almost not at the house because I was visiting the city. I was just taking regular showers and was charging my phone and laptop when I needed it. What you wrote about me, I don't think it's true or fair and I'm really sorry to read that because I thought we had a great time the whole time.
Guest’s review of Host:
I had a nice stay at Host's place. It's good for 1-3 days since the room is very small and really suitable only for sleeping (no chair, table, ..). The location is okay, a bit far from the centre, but you can get everywhere by bus or by metro.

Soo, I'm pretty well just realizing how I've been emotionally neglected most of my life growing up. Not to mention the lack of respect my mom and sister have towards me anymore..
Tiny Background: My family has always been the "tough love" type of family. Didn't tell each other that we loved each other much, we just kinda knew we did. Didn't hear it from mom much.. never was the lovey dovey type of family with all the hugs and kisses and such. You fall over "ahhh, get up you're finee.." Never was emotionally open with each other.. if we were it somehow lead into some kind of argument.
Anywayyy...
A lot of the time growing up and even currently to this day I am deemed as the "sensitive" one. I cant take a "joke." So on and so forth.. Times I would come to my mom about things going on in my life and instead of the listening to me with support and understanding I was met with criticism or judgment. Anytime I would go to my sister to tell her things you should want to talk to your sister about and trust that she would keep in confidentiality she would break that trust and go to mom about whatever it was. And lately I have noticed that since moving out in 2020 that my family never really has checked up on me.. they don't even text to ask how I am doing, only time that I hear from them is if there is some family event that occurs in us having to talk and plan out whats going on, and who's coming or who is driving etc. Not only that but anytime I am with my family (mainly my mom and sister) I am suddenly the butt of the jokes that they make, usually including my dating life.
Most of the time I would be excited to tell my family about some new interest I have whether that be with someone new in my life or whatever new hobby I may have picked up. But it always would result in them laughing and claiming how apparently an ex of mine looked like my dad (my parents divorced when i was approximately 8yrs old) and laugh about how I have a type in the men I choose...
Something that pushed me over the edge this past 2023 family Christmas was a comment my sister made and then my mom chimed in with some other "joke"/hurtful comment. We were all playing Cards Against Humanity as we do most holidays and something about the card that I had pulled brought up the topic of my dating life.. and my sister brought up apparently having "daddy issues" and then my mom chimed in with her comment, I don't remember what she said because I was simply over here being stuck mentally about why tf my sister would make a "joke" like that, and they both were laughing about it. THAT HURT! I played the game for like 5 more mins and I said I was done and moved out of the way to sit across the room. Anyway as the day went on I was driving back home to my place from my moms since we had all carpooled at the time. And all I could think about was what my sister had said earlier that day and was bawling on the way home hurt by her "joke."
At that point I had told myself to never tell my family anything about my life that essentially had made me happy within my dating life. Cause all that they would do is "tease me" and make fun of my life and the people I was enjoying life with.
I will say that it hurts though.. cause I had dealt with this bs from my family my whole life, and to not feel safe in telling them personal things anymore has been more of a grieving process for me.
First it was my sister betraying my trust in telling her things I would think a sister would keep to herself, and continuing to even do so today. And then it was the fact that my sister and my mom now essentially team up against me anytime i see them just to make me feel like shit. Now anytime there is a family event all I can think is what bs are they gonna pull out of their asses to make fun of me this time?
I just never understood it.. why me?