I've posted several times here how much I adore Jim Gavin, both in his sublime short story collection Middle Men and the perfect television show he created, Lodge 49. I've been keeping tabs on him since it seems he's out of show business and learned he's started his own publishing imprint, Tiger Van Books.
The first Tiger Van books is a reissue of the 1999 book LA Breakdown by Lou Mathews and it seems very much an RSbookclub type read. It is about street drag racing in LA in the mid-60s and the young men who are in the scene. Mathews apparently wrote it over the course of a decade or two while he was working full-time as a mechanic. It is macho in the best way- a lot of vivid descriptions of the cars and the races punctuated by a real sense of melancholy and listlessness in the twentysomethings who hang around drive-ins every night. It's not nostalgic at all and really seems like as accurate a picture you can hope for for this scene. Real salt-of-the-earth, working class literature.

(Repost since original got removed) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GwAle-_Wya8
I stumbled upon this video, many probably already know who the guy is, but I thought I would share it anyways. This 14 things make me wonder, how many better Christians would be out there, if they understood this 14 things Seth talk about here from Jim Palmer.
Here are the 14 things described in the video which can also be read in his FB post, not linking it here or it will get the post removed.

1. Toxic religion is rooted in fear, especially fear about the afterlife. It leverages the false doctrine of hell to win converts and demand holiness. The fear of God's disapproval, rejection, abandonment and punishment is another hallmark of toxic religion.
2. Clergy have no innate authority. Holding a church leadership position or having a theological degree does not imbue a person with special divine authority or superiority. The terms "anointed", "called", or "chosen" or titles such as "pastor", "priest", "bishop", "elder", "evangelist" or "apostle" do not confer any innate authority on an individual or group.
3. We hold sacred what we are taught to hold sacred, which is why what is sacred to one community is not sacred to another.
4. The stories in our sacred books aren’t history, nor were they meant to be. The authors of these books weren’t historians but writers of historical fiction: they used history (or pseudo history) as a context or pretext for their own ideas. Reading sacred texts as history may yield some nuggets of the past, but the real gold is in seeing these stories as myth and parable, and trying to unpack the possible meanings these parables and myths may hold.
5. Prayer doesn’t work the way you think it does. You can’t bribe God, or change God’s mind through obedience, devotion, or groveling. The underlying theistic premises of prayer are untenable.
6. Anything you claim to know about God, even the notion that there is a God, is a projection of your psyche. What you say about God—who God is, what God cares about, who God rewards, and who God punishes—says nothing about God and everything about you. If you believe in an unconditionally loving God, you probably value unconditional love. If you believe in a God who divides people into chosen and not chosen, believers and infidels, saved and damned, high cast or low caste, etc. you are likely someone who divides people into in–groups and out–groups with you and your group as the quintessential in-group. God may or may not exist, but your idea of God mirrors yourself and your values.
7. Nobody is born Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, Catholic, Protestant, etc. People are born human and are slowly conditioned by narratives of race, religion, gender, nationality, etc. to be less than human.
8. Theology isn’t the free search for truth, but rather a defense of an already held position. Theology is really apologetics, explaining why a belief is true rather than seeking out the truth in and of itself. All theological reasoning is circular, inevitably “proving” the truth of its own presupposition.
9. Becoming more religious cannot save us. Religion is a human invention reflecting the best and worst of humanity; becoming more religious will simply allow us to perpetuate compassion and cruelty in the name of religion. Because religion always carries the danger of fanaticism, becoming more religious may only heighten the risk of us becoming more fanatical.
10. Becoming less religious cannot save us. In fact, being against religion can become it’s own fanaticism. Becoming less religious will simply force us to perpetuate compassion and cruelty in the name of something else. Secular societies that actively suppress religion have proven no more just or compassionate than religious societies that suppress secularism or free thought. This is because neither religion nor the lack of religion solely nullifies our human potential to act out of ego, greed, fear, hostility, and hatred.
11. A healthy religion is one that helps us own and integrate the shadow side of human nature for the good of person and planet, something few clergy are trained to do. Clergy are trained to promote the religion they represent. They are apologists not liberators. If you want to be more just, compassionate, and loving, you must do the personal work within yourself, and free yourself from the conditions that lock you into injustice, cruelty, and hate, and this means you have to free yourself from all your narratives, including those you call “religious.”
12. Religious leaders claims that their particular understanding and interpretation of their sacred books should be universally accepted. Religious leaders often say, “My authority is the Bible.” It would be more accurate for them to say, “My authority is what they taught me at seminary the Bible means.” People start with flawed or false presuppositions about what the Bible is, such as: the Bible was meant to present a coherent theology about God or is a piece of doctrinal exposition; the Bible is the inerrant, infallible and sole message/"Word" of God to the world; the Bible is a blueprint for daily living. Too often religious leaders make God about having "correct theology." There are a lot of unhappy, broken, hurting, suffering, depressed, lonely people in church with church-approved theology.
13. If your livelihood depends on the success of your church as an organization, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that you will mostly define and reward Christianity as participation in church structures and programs. Christian living is mostly a decentralized reality or way of life, not a centralized or program-dependent phenomenon. Church attendance, tithing, membership, service, and devoted participation, become the hallmarks of Christian maturity.
14. You are capable of guiding your own spiritual path from the inside out and don't need to be told what to do. You naturally have the ability, capacity, tools and skills to guide and direct your life meaningfully, ethically and effectively. Through the use of your fundamental human faculties such as critical thinking, empathy, reason, conscience and intuition, you can capably lead your life. You have the choice to cultivate a spirituality that doesn’t require you to be inadequate, powerless, weak, and lacking, but one that empowers you toward strength, vitality, wholeness, and the fulfillment of your highest potentialities and possibilities.

I do disagree with some of them, but nonetheless, a lot of Christians could learn a thing or two about these 14 things, but I guess the ones that need to hear them the most will just retreat more into those beliefs without even giving a second thought to the first of the list.
Obviously this is not about deconverting Christians, but trying to make them re-evaluate the red flags that a religious thinking can bring to the table, hence, making them "better Christians", less able to be manipulated and more considerate to others at the very least.

Opinion Opinion When desegregation came to Harlan County, U.S.A.: An oral history

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2024/05/28/desegregation-brown-v-board-harlan-county/
What was gained, and what was lost, in the words of those who lived through it.
By Karida L. BrownMay 28, 2024 at 6:00 a.m. EDTA teacher sits with students outside Lynch Colored Public School, circa 1950. (Courtesy of EKAAMP Collection)ShareComment0Add to your saved storiesSave
Karida L. Brown is a professor of sociology at Emory University and the author of “Gone Home: Race and Roots Through Appalachia.”
As we commemorate the 70th anniversary of Brown v. Board of Education this month, let us not forget: It was Black children who did the work of desegregating our schools. Like soldiers conscripted onto a battlefield, these kids were thrust onto the front lines of the American struggle to live up to our nation’s founding creed.
It was not until I was in my late 20s that my parents shared their experiences as children of desegregation. They attended the Lynch Colored Public School, a K-12 school in a company coal town in Harlan County, Ky. They grew up in a time of industrial boom and economic prosperity. But they were still subject to the racist architecture of Jim Crow, including legally mandated separate and unequal education.
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The narratives in this piece come from oral histories I conducted from 2013 to 2016 with African Americans who, like my parents, remember the “colored schools” of Harlan County, particularly those in two small Appalachian coal towns, Lynch and Benham. Their experiences — revisited from the vantage point of their 60s, 70s and 80s — give texture to a complex transition from a pre- to post-civil rights era.
Herein lies a story of painful losses and immeasurable gains. It is a crucial part of our history that must not be forgotten.

‘You better learn something’

Segregation was a fact of life in Harlan County. The close-knit African American community was bound by the strength of its large families, church gatherings and schools filled with dedicated Black teachers.
“These are two things they hammered into my head,” Victor Prinkleton recalled of his teachers at the Lynch Colored School. “You get an education because ... you are not going to be able to get no job in no coal mine, so you better get your education so you [can] get something to do.” As mechanization advanced in the mining industry, Black teachers encouraged their students to aspire to livelihoods different from those of their parents.
“Second was, you better learn something ... and learn how to compete in an integrated society, because segregation is going to end. ... From first grade all the way through high school I heard that, I don’t know how many times.”
Lynch Colored Public School faculty, circa 1950. (Courtesy of EKAAMP Collection)
Lee Arthur Jackson, a 1968 graduate of Lynch High School, the White school that would be desegregated, reflected on this nurturing environment: “They took an interest in what you were doing education-wise, and they saw to it that you were prepared.
“You know, when I came down to University of Kentucky, I was not afraid that I could not compete or anything like that,” Jackson said. “I mean, that just was not in my nature. And so I can do the same thing you’re doing. And that’s the way they prepared us: to be as good — better than — anybody else.”
Black educators were well aware of the changing tides, though change was slow to reach the county. Despite the thunderclap of Brown v. Board in 1954, resistance persisted. White school boards and communities across the South, including in Harlan, balked at the federal mandate, with many calling it “tyranny.” Desegregation did not arrive in Lynch and Benham until 1963.
Cheryl Baskin Brack remembers the moment she and her classmates learned that their world would change. John V. Coleman, the last principal of the Lynch Colored School, broke the news: “When Professor Coleman announced in the gym that that would be our last year, it felt like something stabbed me in my heart. Because I didn’t want to leave.”
Desegregation went forward under a cloud of caution and reluctance. Older students, grades 10 to 12, would go first. Meant to ease the concerns of White Harlanites, this gradual desegregation nonetheless met with resistance from White faculty, and generated profound hurt and anger among Black students.
“Sometimes I try to go back to that, and I’m not sure if I can remember — and that may be one of those kinds of things that you try to put out of your mind,” said Porter G. Peeples, who was sent to the White school in Lynch for his senior year of 1964. “Because it was something that I didn’t want to happen. All the way through high school, you look forward to the day when you’re the big dog, that you’re the senior. And they took that away from us, just flat took it away from us.
"I looked through one of the yearbooks, and I looked at a lot of the awards. ... They were all White kids in our senior year.”
“We were mad because they closed our school down and we had the newer building,” said Albert Harris, who had until then attended Benham Colored School. “So we were forced to go to their building and stuff, you know. So that part angered us, too.
“All the stuff, it just got thrown away. I remember I was with some of my boys, and we went and broke into the old colored school, and we took some of the trophies and the basketball warm-up pants. There were four of us, and we stole those and we would sport them [the pants] around and wear them. But yeah, they just did away with our stuff. So that was our anger in that.”

Crosscurrents of race and class

Harris, who would graduate from Cumberland High School, the White school in the next town over, also noted the economic impact of integration on the Black community: “You got to realize that we had our own school, so you had from principal, assistant principal, math, biology, science, all the way down to the janitors. So the majority of them lost their jobs, and it was the same way with Lynch: It was just a few teachers that maintained their jobs. The rest of them had to leave the area.”
“The teachers that I had all my life,” said Harriett Callaway Hillie, a 1959 graduate of Benham Colored School, “they no longer had a job there.”
The Black segregated schools were anchored by a profound dedication and tenacity among educators — a legacy deeply etched into the community fabric. In contrast, upon desegregation, Black students felt indifference from their White teachers.
Jack French, who desegregated Lynch High School his senior year as a part of the experimental cohort of Black students, observed: “Their mentality was, ‘These Black kids are here, we got to accept the fact that they are here, but I am not going to deal with it to the extent to which it is beneficial to the school.’ To me, that was their mentality. And I watched and observed a great deal of the teachers, because when I came in, it was nothing but all White teachers — that’s all.”
“To me, when we integrated it seemed like the teachers, the White teachers, they didn’t care whether we learned or not,” said Brack. “They were just there, and that was it.”
Ravern Whitt, who integrated the White school in Cumberland in sixth grade, discovered resilience and unexpected revelations about racial and class dynamics: “We had a background from the Black school. I honestly say this with all my heart: They gave us a foundation that learning was everything. So it didn’t matter if I was in school with White people talking about me. I didn’t care. But I wanted to know … what they meant. What made them so different to everybody else? …
“We all thought White people, all of them were well-to-do, all better off than we were. Well, as time went on, we started running into people that didn’t mind telling you how poor they were and the different things they had to deal with and their environment, you know. And I began to see a different class of people among themselves — White people — as we went through school, especially freshmen in high school. There were people in there that didn’t have it like the rest of the White people, and they seemed to be attracted to the Black people, for some reason. ... But that was an eye-opening moment for me because before, I wondered why White people didn’t want to play with us.”
In time, Brack’s fears about academic preparedness gave way to a surprising realization: “And I tell you, the funny thing about that, when we integrated, I was kind of afraid because, see, we always got the books that they had. They had sent us the leftovers. And when we integrated, I was kind of nervous because I thought that we were not going to be prepared like the Whites. But when I got out there, it was totally different. I was surprised: We know more than some of them!”

‘As good as and better than’

Clara Clements, a graduate of Lynch Colored School who went on to teach at Black and White schools in the town — before and after desegregation — remembers the initial optimism: “When they were talking about their integration, there were many people who were excited about it: ‘Our children can get a better education.’ I remember this vividly. ‘They can take chemistry so they can be nurses and doctors,’ and when they got an opportunity to take chemistry, I went down there and took chemistry voluntarily.
“But we lost [the Black teachers who] had interest in children.”
Vergie Mason, a former teacher at Lynch Colored School, shared a mixed reflection on the tangible improvements that came with integration: “I know in Lynch we got hand-me-down books. The White school used the books, and then we got them and we paid for all of our supplies — the teachers paid for them. When we integrated, we got new books. … I got all the paper I wanted for typing — you know, the reams of paper you print your exams and things on. Everything was paid for. …
“But I think really that in the Black school, Black teachers understood the Black kids, and I think that made a difference with the Black kids. When they integrated, some of those White teachers didn’t know anything about the life and livelihood of Black people. And I don’t think they were as patient with them as the Black teachers were.”
Teachers chaperoning a dance at Lynch Colored Public School, circa 1950. (Courtesy of EKAAMP Collection)
Rosie Ivory Pettygrue, who taught third grade at the Lynch Colored School until its closing, captured the poignant revelations of self-worth and equality that emerged from the integration experience. “We lost and we gained,” she said. “This is how we gained: I think that some of our children thought that they were inferior to Whites, and they found out that they knew more than a lot of them did. And then some of the Whites thought that we were inferior, and they found out that we knew more than what a lot of them did.”
Charles Price, a former teacher and the last principal at Benham Colored School, points to the broader cultural costs and psychological benefits of Brown: “The cost, I think, was the community. … It dissolved, and there was sort of an acclimation to the people, and we sort of lost our identity. The benefits were, I think, more psychological than anything. We learned that we were as good as and better than.”
All archival materials featured here can be found in the Eastern Kentucky African American Migration Project Collection No. 5585, Southern Historical Collection, Wilson Special Collections Library, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.When desegregation came to Harlan County, U.S.A.: An oral history
What was gained, and what was lost, in the words of those who lived through it.

Considering the information I've been seeing about Tommy Tallarico lately (not going to speak on that, as this isn't about him), I am now curious as to who might have worked on the Genesis Earthworm Jim 1 soundtrack.
The Genesis game is the original version, and the music was composed originally for the Genesis. The only credit given for a composer is Mark Miller, however, Tony Benetrich has been said to have contributed two songs to the original game, while being the mastermind behind the second one aside from two tracks (one is Christophe Beck). For that, I urge to only speak on the Genesis version as, judging by the sound production, the game seemingly has more than one composer. (SNES sounds uniform enough to only have one, which I hear is Mark Miller)
The songs of interest to me are New Junk City, Down the Tubes/Level 5, For Pete's Sake, and Buttville 1 and 2. I am debating on if Psycrow fits in with these as well.
The thing with Mark Miller writing these tracks, is that Earthworm Jim 1, especially the most tracks on the Genesis version, sounds nothing like Mark Miller's usual Genesis composition. Mark has a very distinct sound on the Genesis. The only music in Earthworm Jim 1 that sounds anything like something he'd write are Snot a Problem, Intestinal Distress, Rodeo Jim and Lost the Race. Other than that, the rest sound nothing like Mark's usual stuff. I hear a slight hint of whatever is often attributed to Tommy for the remainder.(Benetrich?)
The only thing I can guess is that he wrote, at least some of the tracks, but someone else handled the sound engine driver when it came to making the music. If so, I would love to know who.
I really don't think they did it, but the closest sound design I can think of to how the songs of interest to me is the TMNT Tournament Fighters soundtrack on the Genesis by Miki Higashino and Masanori Adachi. If someone can find another ost that sounds that much like EWJ1 let me know.

WrestleMania
Date: March 31st
Attendance: 19,121
Stadium: Madison Square Garden, Manhattan, New York
Match Card:
WWF Intercontinental Championship
Greg Valentine w/Jimmy Hart vs. Tito Santana
(Santana defeats Valentine, becoming the new Intercontinental Champion and winning the first match in Wrestlemania history.)
Ricky Steamboat vs. Matt Borne
"Rowdy" Roddy Piper vs. "Superfly" Jimmy Snuka
WWF Tag Team Championship
The U.S. Express (Mike Rotundo & Barry Windham) vs. Nikolai Volkoff & The Iron Sheik
Bruno Sammartino vs. King Kong Bundy
(A true heavyweight Dream Match, Sammartino vs. Bundy, could easily be the Main Event of the night, but with Bruno in the twilight of his career that could no longer be the case. 10-minute exhibition match that ends with Sammartino making King Kong submit with a powerful "Bearhug" taking the victory.)
Body Slam Match - If André loses he will have to retire or if John loses he will have to pay 15,000 dollars to André
André the Giant vs. Big John Studd w/Bobby Heenan
WWF Women's Championship
Leilani Kai w/The Fabulous Moolah vs. Wendi Richter w/Cyndi Lauper
(Wendi regaining the title, in celebration Cyndi sings "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" before being interrupted by a furious Leilani Kai & Fabulous Moolah.)
David Sammartino vs. Brutus Beefcake w/Johnny Valiant
(I think that Bruno would have asked as a requirement to participate in the event that his son would fight in a match, so Sammartino's son defeats Beefcake in less than 5 minutes. Even with this victory I wouldn't have gone far, lol.)
WWF Championship - Muhammad Ali as Special Guest Referee
Hulk Hogan w/Mr. T vs. Paul Orndorff w/Cowboy Bob Orton
(The Hulkster defends the WWF championship against the malevolent Mr. Wonderful, who is accompanied by the Cowboy Bob Orton, while Hogan will have the help of Mr. T. Main Event full of emotions and near falls with the public full, after Almost 15 minutes of non-stop action, Hogan finishes the match by performing an "Atomic Leg Drop" on Orndorff, retaining the championship, celebrating with Mr. T and his brothers, thus ending Wrestlemania.)
Notes:
(The original screwed with The Spider Lady never happened, The Fabulous Moolah is fired from the company and never appears or is mentioned again.)
(Volkoff & Sheik loses the titles against the Dream Team in the middle of the year.)
King of the Ring '85
Date: July 8th
Attendance: 23,000
Stadium: Sullivan Stadium, Foxborough, Massachusetts
KOTR 1st Round
The Magnificent Muraco vs. Junkyard Dog
Les Thornton vs. Steve Lombardi
Paul Orndorff vs. Bob Orton Jr.
Pedro Morales vs. Ivan Putski
Tito Santana vs. Jim Brunzell
Terry Funk vs. The Spoiler
Ricky Steamboat vs. Greg Valentine w/Jimmy Hart
The Iron Sheik vs. B. Brian Blair
KOTR 2nd Round
The Magnificent Muraco vs. Les Thornton
Paul Orndorff vs. Pedro Morales
Tito Santana vs. Terry Funk
Ricky Steamboat vs. The Iron Sheik
KOTR 3rd Round
The Magnificent Muraco vs. Pedro Morales
Terry Funk vs. The Iron Sheik
WWF Championship
Hulk Hogan vs. Nikolai Volkoff
KOTR Final Round
Pedro Morales vs. The Iron Sheik
(A brutal and bloody final between two heavyweights, with the Sheik making the former world champion surrender, becoming the first King of the Ring, being known as The Iron King.)
Notes:
(The Wrestling Classic is not a PPV, only a Live Show.)
(Tito Santana drops the Intercontinental title to Randy Savage in late 1985.)
Wrestlemania II
Date: April 7th
Attendance: 14,500
Stadium: Los Angeles Memorial Sports Arena, Los Angeles, California
Ricky Steamboat vs. Bret Hart w/Jimmy Hart
WWF Women’s Championship
Wendi Richter w/Cyndi Lauper vs. Velvet McIntyre
Jake Roberts vs. Tito Santana
WWF vs. NFL – 20-Man Battle Royal Match
André the Giant wins
Other Participants: Bruno Sammartino, The Iron Sheik, Pedro Morales, Big John Studd, Magnificent Muraco, Jim Neidhart, George Steele, Tony Atlas, Haku, Hillbilly Jim, Junkyard Dog, Corporal Kirchner, Harvey Martin, Ernie Holmes, Bill Fralic, Russ Francis, William Perry & Jim Covert.
WWF Tag Team Championship
The Dream Team (Greg Valentine & Brutus Beefcake) w/Johnny Valiant vs. The British Bulldogs (Davey Boy Smith & Dynamite Kid) w/Ozzy Osbourne & Lou Albano
Steel Cage Match
Jimmy Snuka vs. Nikolai Volkoff
(Snuka gets the win after making a great leap from the top of the cage.)
WWF Intercontinental Championship
Randy Savage w/Miss Elizabeth vs. Paul Orndorff
The Funk Brothers (Terry & Hoss Funk) w/Jimmy Hart vs. The Killer Bees (Brian Blair & Jim Brunzell)
WWF Championship
Hulk Hogan vs. Roddy Piper
(Rowdy challenges the federation champion to a match at Wrestlemania where his title and honor will be on the line, constantly provoking and disparaging the United States, the typical America vs. the world story. In a thrilling match that would surely have caused much conflict backstage, Hogan retains over Roddy, and once again raises the American flag to the world, thus ending Wrestlemania.)
King of the Ring '86
Date: September 4th
Attendance: 12,000
Stadium: Rosemont Horizon, Rosemont, Illinois
KOTR 1st Round
The Iron Sheik vs. Billy Jack Haynes
Harley Race vs. Mr. X
André the Giant w/Bobby Heenan vs. George Steele
Roddy Piper vs. The Magnificent Muraco Double DQ
Nikolai Volkoff vs. Dan Spivey
Pedro Morales vs. Rudy Diamond
Paul Orndorff vs. Junkyard Dog
Bruno Sammartino vs. Mike Rotunda
KOTR 2nd Round
The Iron Sheik vs. Harley Race
Nikolai Volkoff vs. Pedro Morales
Paul Orndorff vs. Bruno Sammartino
KOTR 3rd Round
The Iron Sheik vs. André the Giant w/Bobby Heenan
Pedro Morales vs. Bruno Sammartino
WWF Tag Team Championship - Steel Cage Match
The British Bulldogs (Davey Boy Smith & Dynamite Kid) vs. The Dream Team (Greg Valentine & Brutus Beefcake) w/Johnny Valiant
KOTR Final Round
André the Giant w/Bobby Heenan vs. Bruno Sammartino
(A great dream match between two immovable forces, André manages to break the great Bruno and get the victory, becoming the new King of the Ring.)
Wrestlemania III
Date: March 29th
Attendance: 93,173
Stadium: Pontiac Silverdome, Pontiac, Michigan
WWF Tag Team Championship
The British Bulldogs (Davey Boy Smith & Dynamite Kid) vs. The Hart Foundation (Bret Hart & Jim Neidhart) w/Jimmy Hart
King Kong Bundy vs. Hillbilly Jim
Harley Race vs. Jimmy Snuka
WWF Women’s Championship
Wendi Richter vs. Rockin’ Robin
Junkyard Dog vs. The Honky Tonk Man w/Jimmy Hart
The Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff vs. The Magnificent Muraco & Bob Orton Jr.
WWF Intercontinental Championship
Randy Savage w/Miss Elizabeth vs. Ricky Steamboat
Jake Roberts w/Alice Cooper vs. Adrian Adonis
Loser Leaves WWF Match
Paul Orndorff vs. Roddy Piper
(The intense rivalry between two classic rivals concludes with a match where the loser will leave the WWF forever. Ending controversially with Paul performing the 3 count on Roddy leaning his legs on the ropes, Rowdy is forced to leave the company, but not before giving a beating to Orndorff and saying goodbye to the public, receiving a standing ovation. After this Roddy would go to Hollywood to record They Live.)
The Dream Team (Greg Valentine & Brutus Beefcake) & Dino Bravo vs. The Killer Bees (Jim Brunzell & B. Brain Blair) & Tito Santana
WWF Championship
Hulk Hogan vs. André the Giant w/Bobby Heenan
(The same great showdown that rocked the entire world, culminating in the same way, with Hogan performing a Body Slam on the giant and successfully retaining, ending Andre's legendary 15-year undefeated streak, the Hulkster would celebrate his victory in front of the crowd by raising the American flag high in the air, thus ending Wrestlemania.)
King of the Ring '87
Date: July 14th
Attendance: 14,000
Stadium: Providence Civic Center, Providence, Rhode Island
KOTR 1st Round
Haku vs. Brutus Beefcake
Rick Martel vs. Dan Spivey
King Kong Bundy vs. One Man Gang
Sika vs. Special Delivery Jones
Pedro Morales vs. Ron Bass
Tama vs. Junkyard Dog DQ
Nikolai Volkoff vs. Randy Savage w/Miss Elizabeth
KOTR 2nd Round
Haku vs. Rick Martel
King Kong Bundy vs. Sika
Tito Santana vs. Junkyard Dog
Pedro Morales vs. Randy Savage w/Miss Elizabeth
KOTR 3rd Round
Haku vs. King Kong Bundy
Tito Santana vs. Randy Savage w/Miss Elizabeth
WWF Intercontinental Championship
Ricky Steamboat vs. The Honky Tonk Man
KOTR Final Round
King Kong Bundy vs. Randy Savage w/Miss Elizabeth
(Same final, same winner, Randy Savage manages to prevail over Bundy and crown himself as the new King of the Ring, being known as Macho King.)
Survivor Series '87
Date: November 26th
Attendance: 21,300
Stadium: Richfield Coliseum, Richfield, Ohio.
~Team Macho Man (Randy Savage w/Miss Elizabeth, Ricky Steamboat, Junkyard Dog, Bob Orton Jr. & Jake Roberts)~ vs. Team Bundy (King Kong Bundy, Paul Orndorff, Rick Rude, Butch Reed & The Honky Tonk Man)
Sole Survivors: Randy Savage & Ricky Steamboat
WWF World Tag Team Championship
~The Hart Foundation (Bret & Jim) w/Jimmy Hart~ vs. Demolition (Ax & Smash) vs. The British Bulldogs (Davey Boy Smith & Dynamite Kid) vs. Strike Force (Tito Santana & Rick Martel)
~Team Richter (Wendi Richter, Rockin’ Robin, Velvet McIntyre, Itsuki Yamazaki & Noriyo Tateno)~ vs. Team Sensational (Sensational Sherri, Leilani Kai, Judy Martin, Donna Christanello & Dawn Marie)
Sole Survivors: Wendi Richter & Jumping Bomb Angels (Itsuki & Noriyo)
Team Harley (Harley Race, Don Muraco, Dino Bravo, Ken Patera & One Man Gang) vs. ~Team Hacksaw (Jim Duggan, Brutus Beefcake, Jim Brunzell, B. Brian Blair & Bam Bam Bigelow)~
Sole Survivors: Jim Duggan & Bam Bam Bigelow
WWF Championship
Hulk Hogan vs. ~André the Giant w/Bobby Heenan~
(The great rematch takes place here, being much more intense and with a shocking ending. After receiving a strong whistle from Heenan, the Hulkster is crushed by André, and although he tries to escape the count, it is too late, officially his reign of more than 3 years is over, the 8th wonder of the world has become the new champion of the World Wrestling Federation.)
I hope you liked it, see you in the next part where we will observe a much better structured Wrestlemania IV, the birth of the Big 5 and the rise of Macho Man. Stay tuned, take care, I wish you good afternoon, good evening and good night.

Live Music

• Jim Lamb, Mill Top Tavern, 12:00 pm – 4:00 pm
• Alexis Peramas, Pierre's Pub, 1:00 pm – 5:00 pm
• Joshua "Tennessee" Worthy, Colonial Oak Music Park, 2:00 pm – 5:00 pm
• Joshua "Tennessee" Worthy, Mill Top Tavern, 4:30 pm – 8:30 pm
• Bill Sabo, O.C. White's Seafood, 5:30 pm – 8:30 pm
• $5 Jack and The Dry Tortugas, Borrillo's Pizzeria & Beer Garden, 5:30 pm – 8:30 pm
• Stu Weaver, Harry's Seafood Bar & Grille, 6:00 pm – 10:00 pm
• ZaZa Flamenca, Pierre's Pub, 6:00 pm – 10:00 pm
• Cortnie Frazier, Chez L'Amour, 7:00 pm – 10:00 pm

Mickler Mile

• The Ancient City Road Runners (ACRR) host the Mickler Mile road race on Monday, May 27, 2024 at 7:00 a.m.
• The run begins at the corner of Pope Road and Mickler Road and is perfect for amateur runners building up endurance for tougher races and seasoned runners looking to vary their training regiment.
• The registration fee includes a race bib and the exclusive Mickler Mile t-shirt. To guarantee your shirt size, register by May 13, although you can still sign up after this date without a size guarantee.
• Registration: A $20.00 donation is required to register, which directly supports the ACRR's Youth Running Program. Participation is limited to the first 150 registrants. Runners are advised to register early.
• When: Monday, May 27, 2024 at 7:00 a.m.
• Where: The corner of Pope Road and Mickler Road in St. Augustine Beach, Florida 32080.

# Massing of the Colors on Memorial Day

• Honor veterans on Monday, May 27, 2024, at the St. Augustine National Cemetery from 10:00 to 11:00 a.m. The service begins with music and the presentation of massed flags from area veterans organizations.
• Speakers will read the names of local veterans who have died in the past year.
• The guest speaker for 2024 is slated to be Brigadier General Richard Coffey III, FLANG.
• This event is presented by the Ancient City Chapter of the Military Officers Association of America and the Veterans Council of St. Johns County.
• Guests are encouraged to bring water and chairs to the event.
• Admission: Free
• When: 10:00 to 11:00 a.m. on Monday, May 27, 2024 — Memorial Day
• Where: St. Augustine National Cemetery is at 104 Marine Street in St. Augustine, Florida 32084.

# STAAA: Monday Night Figure Drawing

• The St. Augustine Art Association hosts the Monday Night Figure Drawing studio session every Monday at their gallery in Historic Downtown.
• This non-instructional studio time enables aspiring and accomplished artists to capture human form through various art mediums. This foundational practice helps to build a strong sense of anatomy, proportion, structure, and human movement.
• The St. Augustine Art Association encourages artists to work in the medium of their choice -- each artist is responsible for bringing their own supplies while essential studio furnishings such as easels, tables, and chairs are provided. The Monday Night Figure Drawing sessions are open to artists 18 years and older and to young artists with written parental consent.
• Admission: STAAA members pay a $10.00 admission fee while non-members pay $15.00.
• When: Every Monday Night from 6:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m.
• Where: St. Augustine Art Association's art gallery at 22 Marine Street, St. Augustine, Florida 32084.[](tel:+1 (904) 824-2310)

I am unable to post the sources because they are getting flagged as spam since they are all similar in name. So please visit this site for the list.
Written out urls here tinyurl.com/yjkw32kd

For future events please visit the Discord.

https://discord.gg/NG4eZSWAgR

Live Music

• Jim Lamb, Mill Top Tavern, 12:00 pm – 4:00 pm
• Alexis Peramas, Pierre's Pub, 1:00 pm – 5:00 pm
• Joshua "Tennessee" Worthy, Colonial Oak Music Park, 2:00 pm – 5:00 pm
• Joshua "Tennessee" Worthy, Mill Top Tavern, 4:30 pm – 8:30 pm
• Bill Sabo, O.C. White's Seafood, 5:30 pm – 8:30 pm
• $5 Jack and The Dry Tortugas, Borrillo's Pizzeria & Beer Garden, 5:30 pm – 8:30 pm
• Stu Weaver, Harry's Seafood Bar & Grille, 6:00 pm – 10:00 pm
• ZaZa Flamenca, Pierre's Pub, 6:00 pm – 10:00 pm
• Cortnie Frazier, Chez L'Amour, 7:00 pm – 10:00 pm

Mickler Mile

• The Ancient City Road Runners (ACRR) host the Mickler Mile road race on Monday, May 27, 2024 at 7:00 a.m.
• The run begins at the corner of Pope Road and Mickler Road and is perfect for amateur runners building up endurance for tougher races and seasoned runners looking to vary their training regiment.
• The registration fee includes a race bib and the exclusive Mickler Mile t-shirt. To guarantee your shirt size, register by May 13, although you can still sign up after this date without a size guarantee.
• Registration: A $20.00 donation is required to register, which directly supports the ACRR's Youth Running Program. Participation is limited to the first 150 registrants. Runners are advised to register early.
• When: Monday, May 27, 2024 at 7:00 a.m.
• Where: The corner of Pope Road and Mickler Road in St. Augustine Beach, Florida 32080.

# Massing of the Colors on Memorial Day

• Honor veterans on Monday, May 27, 2024, at the St. Augustine National Cemetery from 10:00 to 11:00 a.m. The service begins with music and the presentation of massed flags from area veterans organizations.
• Speakers will read the names of local veterans who have died in the past year.
• The guest speaker for 2024 is slated to be Brigadier General Richard Coffey III, FLANG.
• This event is presented by the Ancient City Chapter of the Military Officers Association of America and the Veterans Council of St. Johns County.
• Guests are encouraged to bring water and chairs to the event.
• Admission: Free
• When: 10:00 to 11:00 a.m. on Monday, May 27, 2024 — Memorial Day
• Where: St. Augustine National Cemetery is at 104 Marine Street in St. Augustine, Florida 32084.

# STAAA: Monday Night Figure Drawing

• The St. Augustine Art Association hosts the Monday Night Figure Drawing studio session every Monday at their gallery in Historic Downtown.
• This non-instructional studio time enables aspiring and accomplished artists to capture human form through various art mediums. This foundational practice helps to build a strong sense of anatomy, proportion, structure, and human movement.
• The St. Augustine Art Association encourages artists to work in the medium of their choice -- each artist is responsible for bringing their own supplies while essential studio furnishings such as easels, tables, and chairs are provided. The Monday Night Figure Drawing sessions are open to artists 18 years and older and to young artists with written parental consent.
• Admission: STAAA members pay a $10.00 admission fee while non-members pay $15.00.
• When: Every Monday Night from 6:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m.
• Where: St. Augustine Art Association's art gallery at 22 Marine Street, St. Augustine, Florida 32084.[](tel:+1 (904) 824-2310)

I am unable to post the sources because they are getting flagged as spam since they are all similar in name. So please visit this site for the list.
Written out urls here tinyurl.com/yjkw32kd

For future events please visit the Discord.

https://discord.gg/NG4eZSWAgR

Today I was following this John Deere tractor down the road, and I couldn’t pass it because there was a solid white line.
He was going 2-3mph on this wide open road with kinda no traffic, and I almost lost feeling in the left hand feathering the clutch, but there still were cars incoming like one every two minutes, so it wasn’t safe to overtake, and then again, the solid white line was. right. there.
Guy was hauling some fertilizer tank so the smell was foul, I was about to faint almost twice for the smell alone.
It was two people in there, this guy with a mullet, a toothless young lady and a big opossum hanging from the ceiling. The guy noticed me, and he started to brake check me every few seconds, while his gf was throwing me empty Busch cans and Jim Beam bottles. I briefly thought again about overtaking them, but the mere thought of my wheels touching that solid white line was making my whole body shiver.
Then the cars behind started honking, they surely weren’t honking at them because - I - was the one right in front of them, how could they even notice the multiple tons vivid green agricultural machine in front of me. Now I would laugh at the irony of them honking at me, but there I started to panic so I started crying (very dangerous, my eyesight was compromised) while flipping the bird to those rude drivers.
That’s when the cars behind me started throwing trash at me, two of them people got off from the passenger seats and started bashing my back and my head with baseball bats. They weren’t even running, we were going so slow that they were walking back and forth from the cars to pick up sticks and shovels when the bats broke.
Fortunately AGATT so I only got a light concussion, two broken ribs and a sprained shoulder, but I was in panic because there was no imaginable way to escape.
After 15 minutes like that I was exhausted (scorching sun, sweat was building inside my black leather one piece racing suit), but after another 5 minutes, right when multiple people were reaching for their guns, the possum ate some wires and caught fire, bringing the John Deere to stop on the shoulder, after crossing the two empty lanes on his right side (yes, the guy occupied the left most lane when multiple empty lanes were available, preventing me from overtaking on the other lanes because that meant overtaking on the right side).
I then finally could crank my 125cc to warp speed levels (almost reached the speed limit in under a minute), to finally escape from that hellish situation. Glad of being a survivor albeit shaking, I finally made it home.

Author: FrostFireFive
<< < > >>
Book: New Titans
Arc: Time Out
Set: 96
“Roy?” Wally West asked freed from the machine Slade Wilson had tied him to. It had only been a few hours, but Kid Flash felt that he had been awake for three days. The Flashes had made a mistake, traveling back into the speed force had given Hunter Zolomon a chance to rewrite history, and now, they were all paying for it.
“Did you expect Superman?” Arsenal said as he looked around at the machinery. He had overheard some of Deathstroke’s ramblings. Time travel, lost family, and the fact that whoever this guy was could be the key to making something better. “Pretty sure he’s dealing with the Amazons or Atlanteans. I can never get that one right,” Arsenal explained.
“I didn’t expect you,” Wally asked as he looked around the complex. What is this place?”
“Ou-his home,” Arsenal explained. “We call it Castle. When the Wildebeests unleashed the Plasmus bomb, this place became a quarentine zone. With Saphire’s help the old man was able to clean up the area and convince the city we deserved to have this. To watch over them.”
“Plasmus bomb? Sapphire? Where’s Rex?” Kid Flash asked.
“He was the bomb,” Arsenal explained as he moved to his arm’s built-in computer, pulling up a virtual read of the schematics for the Castle’s prison floors. Slade had ensured there would be a labyrinth of false exits and hidden labs. He needed fresh bodies to test the latest weapon, no matter what the cost. “He tried finding a cure for Sapphire after she pushed him out of the way on that machine they developed. Her brother used him to cause a total meltdown.”
“Oh god,” Kid Flash said as he slumped to the ground, he could still feel his connection to the speed force, even if it was a bit weaker due to Slade’s machine. “That’s not how that went, that’s not how any of this went.”
“You keep saying that without any proof, Sspeedy,” Arsenal responded as he planned a quiet path for them to take. He knew that the moment he began hacking through the system, Red X would know, she always knew. “You could be another of Slade's projects that got loose.”
“I’m not some…lost project,” Kid Flash responded as he looked at the unconscious Slade still on the floor. In a blur he had managed to pick up the man and tie him to his own machine. Wally hoped he would stay put in there. “In this other timeline…you and I are friends. We’re a part of the Titans, not the Ravagers. We’ve been through hell together. We fought the Wildebeests and won. And I think I’m the only one to babysit your daughter. Well, besides JIm.”
“You’re talking nonsense. I have no family, not after Brick sent me a message after finding out I was working for Slade. I’m the last Harper. I’m all alone,” Arsenal explained as he looked away from the speedster.
“It doesn’t have to be that way, I’m here. And I can tell you, when we set things right…you won’t be alone. But you have to trust me,” Kid Flash explained. “And I know that sounds crazy, that everything seems right, but deep down…something’s missing right?”
Arsenal took a moment before the prison doors swung open around them. With metahuman prisoners seeing the sun for the first time in years, the chaos would perfectly cover the two heroes.
“You had me at nonsense,” Arsenal explained. “So what do you need from me?”
“How do you feel about breaking into the main databases?” Kid Flash explained.
…
Red X stood alone in her room, it was close to the top of Castle. A beautiful view of the city could be seen. The city was recovering, with trees and new buildings being erected. But Red X never bothered to look outside. She had to ensure that what had happened in Chicago would never happen again. And as the cables drifted down to back at the base of her neck, she prepared to drift along the internet. Looking for the threats that may or may not come.
But before being uplinked, she could hear the soft footsteps of someone who found himself more comfortable in the air than dealing with people on the ground.
“What do you want Dreadwing,” Rex X asked as Dick Grayson entered her room. They were Slade’s longest wards. Taken from the Gotham sewers and trained together to be the best, to protect the world at any cost. Jas…Rook, had to be tossed aside when his incompetence had damaged Barbara. And the cause for her obsession with perfection.
“To see how you’re doing,” Dreadwing began. “A lot of the team is shaken up by this…speedster. Element Girl hasn’t been able to keep her shape, Arsenal is brooding more than usual, and Mammoth is Mammoth. Only cares if the check doesn’t clear.”
It’s his greatest strength,” Red X said. “And what of you,Dreadwing?”
“I believe in the mission. But…he seemed so certain of a world that couldn’t have existed,” Dreadwing said with a hint of doubt.
“And would you want that world?” Red X asked.
“No clue,” Dreadwing said. “I mean, the way he talked about us. It seemed different, hopeful even.”
“Hopeful,” Red X said, her voice distorted from her helm. “We are hope. We protect those that need protecting and punish the guilty.”
“I know we do, but how much of our souls…our bodies do we need to sacrifice,” Dreadwing said as he moved closer, his hand holding hers.
“As much as we need to,” Red X explained as she pulled away. “That’s what Deathstroke taught us.”
“Tell me that without the helmet,” Dreadwing said as he pulled down his mask, revealing the shaggy hair of Dick Grayson
“You don’t want to see that, no one does,” Red X explained.
“I do. I want to see my friend again,” Dreadwing responded.
Red X looked down for a minute before touching the back of her helmet. The mechanical aspects wheezed to life as it slowly peeled off, revealing the face of Barbara Gordon. Her green eyes shined, contrasting against the bits of tech grafted to her face. She had been paralyzed, nearly blinded, and maimed. But every time, Barbara Gordon would sacrifice a piece of herself for the greater good.
“I know you don’t like staring at me, I know you think I’m…some monster. But I have to do it, I have to protect everyone. No should get hurt.”
“Oh Babs,” Dreadwing said as he pulled her closer. “Maybe we were wrong. Maybe…there is a better way. Maybe…”
The entirety of Castle glowed red as a loud siren blared through its walls.
“Warning! Prisoner Release! Warning Prisoner Release!” The electronic voice called out.
“Maybe we have work to do,” Red X explained as she restored her helment, and ran into the fray. There was no time to think just how little of her soul was left.
…
“So what the hell are you looking for exactly!” Arsenal said as he slammed his mechanical arm against one of the escaped prisoner’s collarbone. The crack was loud and satisfying to him. Slade had always taught when you hit, you hit hard and you hit fast.
“Information I guess,” Kid Flash said as he zipped around, pushing forward with Arsenal. “We need to find out where this…Flash is and any other changes that were made. And then…hopefully find my family.”
“Oh so I don’t count,” Arsenal said as his arm turned into a blaster and sent several prisoners flying back into their cells. The two had made quick work of the riot, but Roy knew two things. One, that the supermax area was next and two, the others didn’t necessarily believe in a better world like Roy did, and would come for them. “Nice to see we’re so close.”
“It’s not that,” Kid Flash explained as he unleashed a flurry of punches towards one of the goons before him. “I’m kinda part of two groups. Where I come from the Flash, the real Flash isn’t alone. You can kinda say I’m part of two families. Just hard to split time.”
“You’re telling me the fastest man alive struggles to balance his time? Now that’s comforting,” Arsenal explained. As the two continued to fight a rumbling could be heard as several of the Castle’s guards were thrown past the two heroes. “What was that?”
“Judging by the concrete dust on them?” Kid Flash explained, proud that listening to Barry had been paying off. “My fellow prisoner.”
“Arsenal! You’re going to pay for imprisoning me!” Cinderblock roared as he charged towards the two heroes.
“Shit! Going to need the big one for this one!” Arsenal yelled as he got onto one knee and held his arm. The metal and servos move to become a giant cannon. The energy slowly charged up as Roy closed his eyes and prepared to fire. Until the whizzing of a certain speedster blocked both of them.
“Whoa, whoa!” Kid Flash said. “We do not need to be enemies here.”
“He imprisoned me, and you beat me up,” Cinderblow said with his usual growl.
“Yeah well where I come from you’ve given me some nasty bruises,” Kid Flash explained. “But if this day has taught me anything, it is that I can’t play by the rules I do at home. Help us, and we’ll help you.”
“Help him?” Arsenal said as the blaster slowly became an arm again. “He’s a criminal.”
“And you’re a fascist who locked me up without getting a trial first,” Cinderblock explained.
“And together we can handle whatever comes our way, we just need to trust each other, just until we get out of here, and I can make things right,” Kid Flash explained. “Can we do that?”
Cinderblock and Arsenal both looked at each other.
“Fine,” They both muttered.
“Good, because we got to world to fix,” Kid Flash muttered before the three raced off, deeper into the castle, unaware of the secrets Slade had been hiding from all.
…
Slade Wilson slowly woke up as he dangled from above the machine where he had imprisoned the speedster. He didn't think the speedster's false promises would get to one of his soldiers. He had trained them, molded them, and provided them with order and a code. Instead, Arsenal had listened to a false prophet. He would have to pay for that as soon as Slade escaped from the machine.
The red lights flashing from the intruders releasing the prisoners overwhelmed his senses. The experiments the government had done to him had made him a peak specimen, but came with drawbacks too. His senses could be overwhelmed, he felt every ache and scar that riddled his body, But his memory was perfect. And as he stood there , hung by the machines above, he replayed one night in his head repeatedly over.
Joey’s throat, Grant’s failed attempt to fire, Adeline holding both their sons’ cold pale bodies in her hands. All because Deathstroke had taken a job for the wrong people. HIVE had wanted a better tomorrow for their demon lord. Slade spent the next two decades killing, maiming, and crippling the HIVE with his soldiers, his personall designed Ravagers.
Slowly he began moving his arms and legs from their restraints. He could feel the tubes and the needles covering him. It was meant to drain this interloper; instead, Slade could feel the pain again. But he could feel a crackle, a connection to something more. His movements grew faster as the tubes and restraints fell to the ground as Slade Wilson landed swiftly on his feet.
Everything had become slower…as it dawned on him that his little science project had actually worked. Not enough to finish the mission, but enough to get that damn yellow and red blur back.
Slade Wilson picked the black and white helm that stood on the lab’s workbench as it clicked into place, lightning crackled in his eye. Deathstroke was one step closer to finishing the mission.
…
“When you said we were facing high security guys I thought they’d be tougher,” Cinderblock yelled as he slammed one of the more brutish prisoners to the ground hard. The three had made their way through the bowels of the Castle. With Kid Flash sending guards and prisoners to his two “teammates”. He hated to be beating up guards, but there was no other choice. The mission had to come first. Even if compromises had to be made. Arsenal and Cinderblock had a ruthless efficiency that the speedster wasn’t so sure of.
“Well we usually kill the tougher ones,” Arsenal responded as he shot electric blasts from his arm. “Slade says it's simpler.”
“Simpler isn’t always easy,” Kid Flash explained, zipping around and accessing every computer terminal he could to find any information the speedsters could use to make right, It seemed when they all mucked around in the speed force they had acted like a bullet, shattering time and forcing it to repair itself. Lara, Clark’s mother, had made it to Earth, Bruce Wayne had been dead for years, Kara was with Aquaman, And Vic Stone was a high-ranking secret agent. It was all wrong, and deep down in the Castle basement, Wally doubted that they could even fix it.
“No, but it gets us through the day,” Cinderblock explained as he sent a few of the guards into cells. He wasn’t as ruthless as Arsenal, showing a care Wally would have never considered back in his timeline. “Simple makes people think there’s good and evil. And that in order to do the most good you have to extinguish any sign of evil.”
“Pretty philosophical for a guy who’s just a bunch of sentient cinder blocks,” Arsenal responded as he looked around, a large door separated them from the mainframe.". Slade had always ensured this was the most protected section of the base, to him, information was the only way to be prepared for anything. To Arsenal, it was just another blockade in their quest. Quickly he plugged into the door and began hacking it open.
“You do a lot of thinking when you’re not exactly human anymore,” Cinderblock explained. “Feeling a cold beer in your mouth on a hot summer day. You’d turn to crime if you couldn’t feel any of that. And know there’s no one to blame but yourself.”
“Sometimes bad things just happen,” Kid Flash explained as he slowed down. It was something he learned to do with the Titans. Being a speedster meant wanting to do everything at once and could do it. It meant other people felt slower than Wally, and in his earlier years, he would haveignored them. His friends had taught him differently. “What matters is that we don’t wallow in it. We’re heroes, we fight for the greater good, even if it means we lose. We’re Titans. It comes with the job.”
“Titans huh,” Cinderblock said as he looked around. “I like that. Sounds…heroic.”
“Yeah, well it’s just a name, it’s what you do that matters,” Arsenal said as he finished the touches on his hack. It wasn’t elegant, but it would get them in. “And let me tell you Cinderblock, this world got no heroes. Just people making the wrong choice.”
“It doesn’t have to be that way,” Kid Flash responded.
“A broken world can’t repair itself when its core is rotten. It’s why we’re sending you away once you get that data,” Arsenal explained. “Maybe clean all the blood from our hands.”
“I can only try,” Kid Flash muttered as the door to the mainframe slid open. “Now lets see if we can find something to turn back the clocks.”
Kid Flash moved to access the large computer amidst the data banks. Slade had kept several key project notes. Some were boring, such as materials for a new sword. But others proved more fruitful. The obsession with fixing things had led Slade to try and study and track this timeline’s only Flash.
“So Hunter disappears from time to time, no traces, and no signs on Earth,” he mumbled as he looked at the energy readings. Slade didn’t understand exactly what he was tracking, but Kid Flash immediately knew. “He’s in the speed force, of course. No one can bug him, and if he screws up…he can try and change more.”
Kid Flash began to move away from the console and turned to his allies, but before Wally could respond, metal hands rose from the ground and flung him to the floor. The hands climbed out from the floor as Sapphire Stagg’s form appeared.
“You know…you shouldn’t have broken out, Slade was going to go easy on you,” Element Woman explained.
“Yeah, by making me a lab rat to try and make things better for himself,” Kid Flash responded.
“That’s…that’s how science works,” Element Woman stuttered.
“Mad science,” Cinderblock said as he charged into Element Woman, sending her flying back and freeing the speedster. “I swear that’s all you nutjobs love to do. I mean look at you, princess.”
“It was an accident!” Element Woman said as she leapt into the air, her arms turning into acid.
“Uh huh,” Arsenal said as he prepared his arm into its sonic cannon formation. “I saw the footage, Princess. You experimented on yourself and managed to get your boyfriend and brother killed. You act ditzy, but you’re just as bad as all of us.”
He popped up and sent a sonic wave at the elemental powerhouse. As it hit, it ruptured her concentration, sending her toward the ground in a blobby mess.
“Roy!” Kid Flash yelled out.
“Relax, Sspeedy,” Arsenal said. “She’s not dead but she can’t reform for a bit.”
“Cold,” Cinderblock said. “You know Arsenal, you’d make a go-”
CRASH!
Mammoth broke down the walls and slammed Cinderblock to the ground. Before Arsenal and Kid Flash could help their ally, shurikens in the shape of a red x rained down as Dreadwing and Red X entered.
“Traitor!” Red X yelled as her fist slammed against Arsenal’s head. “You didn’t think I wouldn’t know when someone hacked into my systems. Or that you freed the prisoner!”
“Oh I knew Babsie,” Arsenal said. “I was just hoping you’d show up so I can kick your ass.”
“I always knew you were weak Harper. Unfaithful to the mission. Still angry I cut off your arm because you tried going back to…what was her name again? Jade?” Red X said. “The mission always comes first.”
“Yeah, well I got a new mission,” Arsenal explained as he punched Red X in the gut as the two faced off exchanging blows and strikes, matched by their cybernetics, and hatred for each other. As the two continued to fight. Kid Flash was left face-to-face with Dreadwing.
“Dick, we don’t have to do this,” Kid Flash explained.
“I think we do, Prisoner. Slade needs you, that’s good enough for me,” Dreadwing responded.
“The Dick Grayson I knew was many things, but a bootlicker?” Kid Flash said. “Whatever happened to you here, you have to realize Slade is not the person you should be following.”
“He took me in, he took all of us in,” Dreadwing explained. “He saved my family.”
“Yeah, well looking at his files I saw what he did to Jason. And I know why he gathered you all. He’s using you Dick. Using all of you so he could go back and damage things more. You’ve got to let me go. I can make things right.”
“Right?” Dreadwing asked. “You keep telling people our world is a dream, but this is all I’ve known. What right do you have to tell me this is wrong.”
“Because deep down, you know it is too,” Kid Flash explained. “Dick. Where I’m from you lead the Titans, you wear the colors of your parents. You fly. But I can’t give that back to you unless you let me go.”
Dreadwing paused momentarily before looking up at the speedster in front of him. The yellows and reds of his costume stood out in the dull greys and blacks that made up the metal walls of Castle. As much as they claimed they were heroes, Dick and the rest of the Ravagers had blood on their hands. And if there was a better world…why wouldn’t he fight for it?
“I have you Harper!” Red X said as she grabbed the hero by the collar of his tunic, lifting him in the air with her increased strength. “And now you d-”
KZZZT
The EMP Dreadwing tossed onto Red X paralyzed her and sent her to the floor.
“Dick…why,” Red X asked as fell to the floor.
He looked away, for so long he denied just how far the woman he loved had gone for their mission.
“Because we have a chance for a better tomorrow,” Dreadwing responded.
“Holy shit Grayson, you fr-” Arsenal began.
“I don’t care. What matters is we need to get Kid Flash out of here,” Dreadwing said as he began to move to the terminal.
“Yeah, we need to figure out how to make things better, and he’s the only way to do it,” Arsenal said. “Glad you’re finally on the right si-”
Slade Wilson’s blade went through Arsenal’s chest as the last bit of the speed he had stolen from Wally faded away.
“I am the right side,” Slade explained as he dropped Arsenal to the floor.
“NO!” Kid Flash yelled as he grabbed the Arsenal from the floor. Dreadwing ran to fight Slade. But it didn’t matter to the speedster. He had failed in saving his friends. Rex was dead, Barbara a monster, and who knows what other changes he would have to face. He had failed the world, and he didn’t know how he was going to continue on.
“It’s not that bad,” Arsenal mumbled. “Besides, you’re going to fix everything.”
“You don’t know that,” Kid Flash said.
“I do,” Arsenal said. “You’re what’s been missing from this world. Heroes. And for a brief moment…you reminded me what they’re supposed to be. I…had…hope. Now…go…fix the world.”
As he cried Wally knew that with his last breath Roy was right. He had the information he needed, and the more he stayed here the more he risked fixing what they had broken. It was time to run, time to save the world as ran out of the castle, past the new Ravagers, and into the world once more.
…
Wally West ran quickly from the Castle, far away from the death of a friend in another time, in another world. He knew where the others were, he knew the details he needed, but he couldn’t help but feel like something was wrong.
The past year had taught Wally what gift he had found when the lightning hit and the world slowed down for him. He had nothing, just a brother that could not love him like he needed, and a harsh world that seemingly put down the dreamers. But his Aunt Iris, his Uncle Barry, they offered him a better way, a better life.
He had found friends, first with the Titans. And while his tenure was never as perfect as he would have liked, he couldn’t say it broke him. From Donna to Rex to Roy…to even Dick, his friends were there for him. And when they weren’t he had built something new with Frances and then Hartley.
He had found love, and while he didn’t know the future, he couldn’t live in a world where none of that was found. As he ran the lightning crackled around him and tatters of his the yellows and reds of Kid Flash. It was dumb name, but one that protected Wally from thinking that he was worthy, worthy of the title and legacy his uncle had started and would be happy to share.
With each step pushing him forward the lightning engulfed Wally West once more. Unlike the journey into the speed force that led him to this broken world, it was comforting. As if something was calling him home. Wally West could no longer afford to be afraid, to feel like he didn’t belong. And as the lightning faded away, the tattered costume was gone, and metallic red and gold shined brightly as Wally headed to meet his family, to make things right.
Wally West is the Flash, and damn anyone who gets in his way of putting everything right…one last time.
NEXT: Read Flash for Stunning Conclusion to Time Out! And Be Back Here on the 15th as We See a Day in the Life of the Titans!

I had a rough time as a kid. I suffered from both hemangiomas and spotty hair loss – two conditions that would go away the closer I got to my teenage years. But for thosse first few years, I was a social pariah. I looked strange, which was enough to draw unwanted attention. Some kids thought I had a kind of mange, while others just didn’t like to look at me. My parents didn’t make it easier for me, forcing me to bring various creams that I had to apply during school hours
I ended up trying to make my own fun. I made up my own friends in my head, and I played a lot of board games on my own. My parents were going through a divorce, and both swore off having anymore children, so I ended up an only child.
Most of my made-up friends were just a plaything. I could tell it was all just for fun, and that they weren’t real. I didn’t see them or hear them. I made up little stories in my head, trying to imagine what they would do if they were there. I could get really into it. I had this one imaginary friend who always tried to cheat in games, so when I played with him at the table, I’d move the pieces in a way he would (and thus, cheat). Another friend was obsessed with lemonade, so I always brought an extra glass for him.

When I was seven years old, there was a new friend. This one was different. I could really see him. I knew he was just as fake as the rest of them, as he only appeared when I was alone and playing, but he was strange. I hadn’t imagined him for a specific purpose. I didn’t come up with a name for him, I didn’t know anything about him. Even if I would pretend not to know the cheater and the lemonade-enthusiast (to drive conversation), this one was a genuine mystery.
He was scary. He looked like a person, but sort of… stretched. At least 7 feet tall. Pale, flaking, gray skin. He was super thin, and had this sort of hanging face; like his skin was slouching. It reminded me of a wet towel hanging off a rack.
And his eyes, well… they were empty. There was nothing there.
He was super quiet, and rarely moved. I'd usually forget he was even there, unless he made his little sound. A sort of teeth chatter. It was like a tic. Sometimes, a single click. Other times, he’d just stand there – chattering excitedly. Clack-clack-clack.
At first, I just asked him to go away. He didn’t talk, and he didn’t answer any questions. No matter what I played, he refused to participate, or even acknowledge me. He just wanted to be there.

Most of the time, he was a nuisance. He’d scare me. I’d wake up to that noise of chattering teeth at night, or it’d click right next to my ear when I played with my board games. Over time, it went from scary to frustrating. He was just being a bother.
But there was that time in middle school that changed the way I viewed him. There was a new kid in school who was an infamous bully. Let’s call him ‘Ian’. He’d been moved from another school where he’d been a menace. No one really knew what to do with him, so they just sort of… moved him around. And now it was our turn to deal with him.
And of course, I was a clear target. Ian started calling me “Scabs”, and it kind of caught on. The “sick dog” of the class now had a name that the others clung to – and it wasn’t a good one. But it didn’t end there.

One day after school, he took things too far. Spurred on by cheers and laughter from my classmates, I was beaten bloody. While I was beaten, the others went inside to get some scissors. They were gonna cut "my mangy hair".
When it was just me and the Ian, I heard that teeth chattering noise again. I could see the strange figure in the background. My first thought was that he was there to mock me too. But, to my surprise, it had other plans.
It leaned in, unhinged its massive jaw, and took a bite out of Ian’s ear; tearing it in half.

It was instant pandemonium. Ian turned around, not looking at me; but straight at his assailant. He could see him too. Blood and screams. Panic. Ian scrambled like a scared dog, tripping over his own legs to get away. The others came running back out, but as they saw what’d happened, they all had a collective gasp. Seeing them step back was... empowering. They turned and ran, screaming and pointing. They hadn't seen what Ian and I had - they thought I'd done it.
“He took his ear!” they shrieked. “He took it! He took Ian’s ear!”
The kids ran. They ran like their heads were on fire.

I sat there for a moment, my body pulsing with bruises and shock. The strange creature approached me. Its teeth had stopped chattering, replaced with chewing – slowly. Savoring a meal. For all the help it’d given me, this was… grotesque. My adrenaline had spiked, and I just said the first thing that came to mind. Maybe it didn’t really want to hurt me. Maybe it was there for some other reason. Either way, I said what I said.
“You’re just a... big softy, aren’t you?” I sniffled. “You’re… you’re a big softy.”
“B I G S O F T Y”, it wheezed back.
It was less of a voice, and more of a throbbing wind. His lips didn’t move.
“B I G S O F T Y” it continued. “A M.”
“Yeah, you are,” I nodded. “That’s you.”

It leaned in close, inspecting me. It didn’t breathe.
“N A M E,” it hissed. “F R E E.”
I stared into those hollow sockets, waiting for something to happen. A smile, a breath, anything. But no. I blinked, and Big Softy was no longer there.

Sometimes, violence solves things. While that brawl didn’t make me popular, it stopped kids from teasing me. Classmates began using my regular name again. Sure, there were still whispers and the occasional side-eye, but that was still an immense improvement. No one spoke about that fight though. I didn’t want to get in trouble for the ear, and they didn’t want to get in trouble for bullying me. So we kept it to ourselves, and never spoke of it again. Ian seemed fine with sitting quietly and not talking to anyone about it. He'd changed.
And Big Softy, well… he sort of disappeared. It’s like he’d done his job and went on his merry way. For a couple of years that followed, I thought he just might’ve been a figment of my imagination. Maybe I was the one who really bit Ian, and this whole thing was just a way to cope with that trauma?
It had to be something of the sort. Imaginary friends don’t affect the real world. Then again, giving him a name, even a nickname, seemed to have encouraged him.
Or something worse.

Most of my afflictions cleared up in high school, and I found a solid group of like-mined youths. Over time, all little dream-friends faded from memory. The one who cheated. The one who loved lemonade. A hundred others who I can’t even remember. The way they looked, they way they sounded, their names and quirks… they all went away.
But Big Softy stayed on my mind, realer than any of them. The hollow eyes, the chattering teeth. It was strange how the most horrifying of all my imaginary friends turned out to be the one who stuck around the longest.
But time passes. High school turned to college. College turned to work. And by the time I was 27, I had a pretty cozy life going. But even then, despite not having seen or heard that childhood friend of mine, Big Softy still drifted into my dreams every now and then.

I wish I could end the story here. It’d just be a strange anecdote about something that happened to me as a kid. Sadly, that’s not the case. What began as an unusual childhood curiosity turned into a waking nightmare.
Back in 2019, I was in a pretty good place. I was six months into a promotion that added a flat 15% to my salary, and I was finally getting back into dating after a messy breakup a couple of months earlier. Nothing serious, but it felt good to shake off the cobwebs.
I was coming home from a long day of overtime and had to stop for gas. Nothing I hadn’t done a hundred times before. I got myself a Slim Jim and told the long-haired man behind the counter that I wanted $30 on pump two. I handed over my card and checked my phone for a moment.

Clack.
Teeth.

Turning around; nothing. I could feel my pulse spiking for no apparent reason. I became hyper-aware of my surroundings. The overhead lights, the faint whiff of gasoline. That one noise brought me straight back to middle school. It sent this cold spike straight into my head, as if I could picture that hollowed-out face in front of me.
I snapped out of it with a beep from the cash register. I thanked the cashier and headed for the door. Just before I left, I turned back to them.
“Excuse me, but did you hear something strange just now?”
“N… o. Can’t say I did. Sorry.”
“Did you click your tongue or something?”
“Can’t say I did, sir.”
I nodded. Of course they didn’t.

The same sensation came back to me on four different occasions. Once when I was closing the blinds in my bedroom. Once when getting the mail at work. Another time when stuck in traffic, and once when I was about to answer a phone call. I ended up missing it.
It was such a strange reminder. It’d come out of nowhere, and now it was starting to become a daily annoyance. For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out where it was coming from. There wasn’t really a direction, it was just like… in my head. It was there. Everywhere, nowhere, and inside.
Clack.
And yet, Big Softy was yet to be seen.

I was having trouble focusing on work. I couldn’t push my intrusive thoughts out and I ended up doing some digging on social media. Looking up old acquaintances from school. Folks I hadn’t seen or heard from in years. Some had started families; others had moved far away for work or studies. There were only a handful of them still left in Minnesota.
One face stood out to me though.
Ian.
Turns out, he was still around.

The moment I got home from work, I went straight to my computer. I looked up Ian on some of the more common social media sites. The man had no privacy settings.
Most of it was just nonsense. Pictures of him having beers with the boys. A couple of nice cars. Group pictures of random people with generic nicknames. This was a man that wanted to express nothing more than being #fridayblessed.
But looking a little closer, there were a few cracks in the façade. For example, there were a couple more recent comments he’d made to a few friends of his.
“God doesn’t just send angels to protect you,” he said in one post. “Sometimes he sends Demons to test you.”

Looking a bit closer revealed a lot more pain than was readily apparent. Ian was taking medication for schizophrenia. He was overcoming a drinking problem. He seemed to constantly be bouncing between complete disregard for others and hysterical regret for his actions. He could be fighting for forgiveness in one post and bragging about stealing from work in the next.
The man was a mess. A complete mess. And that half-missing ear of his didn’t do him any favors, no matter how many tattoos he put on his neck to divert the attention.
But one particular post caught my attention. He was discussing lifestyle challenges with a local youth pastor (an old acquaintance we had in common), and they were at a disagreement. Ian spat out;
“I don’t deny my goddamn problems. I know what they look like. I know their names. I see their teeth.”

See their teeth.
Huh.

Furthermore, no one seemed to have seen him for a while. For all intents and purposes, Ian had sort of fallen off the face of the earth, leaving behind one last cryptic post.
“It’s getting too real,” the post read. “It’s too close.”
And with that, he’d posted nothing more. I checked the dates, my notes, and made some deductions. That final post of his was written the same day I first started hearing the teeth chattering noise again.
That couldn’t be a coincidence. It just couldn’t.

I didn’t find out anything else about him, and the sound of teeth chattering with horrible timing was getting worse. Once, I had to pull over in traffic to stop my heart from racing. I could’ve sworn I saw that hollowed-out face in my rear-view mirror. I was so frustrated that I smacked my hands on my dashboard so hard I got a bruise.
By the time I got home, I was nervous and stressed. I threw off my jacket, stormed into the kitchen, and cracked open a coke. I slammed the door shut so hard I knocked one of the fridge magnets to the floor; a little blue sunflower. It came with the place.
Leaning back against the fridge, my heart skipped a beat.
Big Softy was right there. Just a few feet away; looking right at me.
Clack-clack-clack.

I dropped my can of coke. As it hit the floor, I blinked. In the next moment, I was alone again.
Clutching my chest, I picked the can up. I wiped up the spill with a couple of paper towels, trying my best to calm down. This was getting out of hand.
I hadn’t regained my composure before there was another sound – a knock on the door. It surprised me. I wasn’t expecting company.
I lumbered over to the door, flustered and shaky. I put my hand on the handle – then stopped. Maybe there was a reason I’d seen that thing. Maybe it wasn’t just a psychosis. What if it meant something? Could it have something to do with whoever, or whatever, was on the other side of the door?

“I can shoot you through the door,” a muffled voice said. “Open.”

I froze. One hand on the door handle, another hand on my phone. I was stuck. I couldn't make myself move.
"I won't ask again. Open."
I didn't know what to say. I turned the handle, and carefully stepped back.

Ian.
He looked like he’d gone through hell to get there. Unwashed hair, unkempt beard, and a shiny new handgun pointed at me. His hands were shaking. He wasn’t kidding around. His fingers trembled. He was trying to pull the trigger.
“Ian?” I said, reflexively. “You… what are you-“
“Shut up,” he spat. “Just… shut up.”
He raised the handgun, staring me down. The sound of his own name shook him.
“It has to end, I can’t-“
His aim faltered. He looked away. Second later, he pushed me back and entered my apartment; closing the door behind him.

He lead me into the kitchen. There were still wet paper towels on the floor from my spilled drink.
“Sit down,” he said, pointing to a chair. “Keep your hands on the table.”
I did as he said. There was a sudden quiet between us, as if he hadn’t planned this far. There was a clear uncertainty to his actions; which just made it worse. I couldn’t tell what he’d do next.
“I need you to… to make it stop,” he said. “It has to stop. It has to.”
“I can’t just-“
“Don’t tell me you can’t!”
He raised his gun, stepping closer. My whole body felt cooler as blood rushed to my arms and legs.
“Don’t you tell me that!” he repeated. “Now make it STOP!”

Before I got a chance to say or do anything, he sat down across from me; gun still pointed in my direction. One wrong move, a twitch, anything, and it’d be over. I almost forgot to breathe.
“I know it’s yours. It’s been yours for… always,” he continued, scratching his hair. “But it’s too much. It’s gone too far.”
“So… okay…” I tried to collect my thoughts. “You’re talking about… him. With the teeth.”
“Don’t act like you don’t know his fucking name,” Ian groaned. “Don’t you fucking dare.”
We looked at one another and said it, in unison.
“Big Softy.”

The moment we said it, I could see him emerging from the shadows in the back of the kitchen. I tried my best not to gasp, or look his way.
“He’s in my head every night. I hear him… all the time,” Ian continued. “That fucking click-clacking, right in my ear. Sometimes in… in my face. Like he wants to take a bite.”
“I’m not controlling that,” I said, carefully picking my words. “I haven’t seen him in… decades.”
“You even know how bad you fucked up?” he said, squinting with disbelief. “You named it. That’s all they need to… to go off. They need a name. They need to be made real. And you-“
He raised his gun, growing more determined by the second.
“…you made him real.”

We moved. This time to the bathroom. I didn’t have a say in the matter, having a gun pointed straight at me. Somewhere off in the background, I could see the vague shape of Big Softy, moving soundlessly from one room to another.
“I-I can’t control it,” I said. “I have nothing to-“
“I don’t care.”
“But this is pointless! There’s nothing-“
“I don’t care! If you go away, his fucking name goes away!”
"You don't know that!
I was pushed through the bathroom door and to the back of my shower. I tripped, coming down hard on my tailbone. The ceramic tiles felt icy cold against my sweaty palms, and I could smell a bit of chlorine from the cleaning supplies.

He raised his gun. This was it.
“Big Softy!” I said. “That’s… that’s all I did! I called it a goddamn nickname! I don’t deserve to die for that!”
Ian’s resolve faltered. He scratched his head again, groaning. But more so, I could see Big Softy just outside the room. Was he getting closer?
“Big Softy,” I said again, my eyes darting to the door. “I was a scared kid. It just slipped out.”
“Don’t you dare put this on me,” he said. “Don’t you dare.”
I observed the creature. It was approaching. Every time I said its name, it got a little closer.

Looking Ian dead in the eye, I took a deep breath. This was it.
“Big Softy,” I said. “Big Softy. Big Softy.”
“What the hell are…”
I kept repeating it. Over, and over, and over. It might do something – it might not. Either way, I had to try. By the sixth time I said it, that enormous, looming creature was inches behind Ian. But more so, it was changing. Not a lot, but enough for me to notice.
It was smiling.

Ian raised his gun at me and pulled the trigger. At the same time, I said the name for a seventh and final time.
The shot went wild as an unhinged jaw came down on Ian's shoulder. There was a scream. A spurt of blood on the bathroom mirror. A flailing arm hitting the light switch, turning a gruesome scene into a shadow theatre.
Impossibly thin hands wrapping around a throat, twisting his neck like a toothpaste cap. Crunching. Ripping. Chewing. Teeth. Teeth. Teeth.
Clack-clack-clack.
Laughter. Otherworldly, ethereal laughter.

I have no idea how long it went on. Ian didn’t even have time to beg. The handgun clattered to the ground. It was just me and this… thing, alone in a dark bathroom. I couldn’t speak. I just curled up into a ball and tried my best to ignore the viscera running into the drain next to me.
There was a slight creaking sound as old knees bent. A hot breath on my face. Big Softy could breathe, it seemed.
“Nice… name,” it said.
The voice was different. Real. Tangible. I could hear vibrations in his throat. This was no longer a figment of my imagination.
“Going,” it continued. “Bye.”

I could hear something getting dragged out of the apartment. I heard doors open and close. And after God knows how long, I realized I was sitting there, shaking like a dry leaf in the wind. My stomach turned at the idea of turning on the light, but I had to. I got up and reached for the light switch, almost tripping on the handgun, and something slippery clinging to it. Fingers?
I flipped the switch.
And I broke.

I won’t go into detail what I saw. Most of the body was gone. Not all of it, but most of it. There was a blood trail leading into the hallway, then disappearing just as it reached the front door.
I’d brought that thing into the world. I’d named it. I’d reinforced it. I’d believed it, called out to it.
I'd made it real - all it had to do was answer.

You can’t unlearn something. And even if I could, I think it’s too late. I think Big Softy got just enough of what he needed to become something else entirely. He took a life, and now he's got one of his own. Maybe we still have some kind of connection, I don’t know. I think we do, or else he might’ve just killed me too right then and there. Then again, there’s no way to tell.
I’ve obsessed over this for years, looking through articles about mentions of Ian. There were no search parties. No one came looking. Even the people who missed him were reluctant to work with the police, and with his history of schizophrenia there was a higher likelihood of him just… doing something he shouldn’t.
But I knew better. Ian hadn’t been schizophrenic. Big Softy had stuck to him and just… tortured him, for God knows how long. Decades.

Looking back at it, I think that was the plan all along. To drive Ian to a point where he would try to kill me. It is in their final moments that a person gets truly desperate, and that’s what I felt on that floor. Desperation. I reached out to whoever would answer, and I couldn't fathom the consequences.
He’s out there. Right now. He probably looks like us, walks like us, and sounds like us. But wherever he is, and whatever he does, I don’t want a part of it.
I don’t know what to say. But if you meet a strangely tall man, who does that thing with his teeth, just know that there might be more to him. A lot more.
He’s more than just a big softy.

Inspired by someone claiming to have read "almost all" UF series, I decided to try and gather the "top" 100 UF series from GoodReads, for some arbitrary definition of top. The following list is based on the number of times people have shelved the first book from each series under Urban Fantasy (which has the advantage of de-prioritising series that are only tangentially considered UF such as Mary Poppins).

1. The Dresden Files [Storm Front, 2000] by Jim Butcher
2. Mercy Thompson [Moon Called, 2006] by Patricia Briggs
3. Kate Daniels [Magic Bites, 2007] by Ilona Andrews
4. The Mortal Instruments [City of Bones, 2007] by Cassandra Clare
5. The Hollows [Dead Witch Walking, 2004] by Kim Harrison
6. The Iron Druid Chronicles [Hounded, 2011] by Kevin Hearne
7. Fever [Darkfever, 2006] by Karen Marie Moning
8. Alpha & Omega [Cry Wolf, 2008] by Patricia Briggs
9. London Below [Neverwhere, 1996] by Neil Gaiman
10. Rivers of London [Rivers of London, 2011] by Ben Aaronovitch
11. Night Huntress [Halfway to the Grave, 2007] by Jeaniene Frost
12. Sookie Stackhouse [Dead Until Dark, 2001] by Charlaine Harris
13. October Daye [Rosemary and Rue, 2009] by Seanan McGuire
14. Hidden Legacy [Burn for Me, 2014] by Ilona Andrews
15. The Others [Written in Red, 2013] by Anne Bishop
16. Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter [Guilty Pleasures, 1993] by Laurell K. Hamilton
17. Otherworld [Bitten, 2001] by Kelley Armstrong
18. The Edge [On the Edge, 2009] by Ilona Andrews
19. Innkeeper Chronicles [Clean Sweep, 2013] by Ilona Andrews
20. Chicagoland Vampires [Some Girls Bite, 2009] by Chloe Neill
21. Andrea Nash [Gunmetal Magic, 2012] by Ilona Andrews
22. Charley Davidson [First Grave on the Right, 2011] by Darynda Jones
23. Guild Hunter [Angels' Blood, 2009] by Nalini Singh
24. Jane Yellowrock [Skinwalker, 2009] by Faith Hunter
25. Daughter of Smoke & Bone [Daughter of Smoke & Bone, 2011] by Laini Taylor
26. Elemental Assassin [Spider's Bite, 2010] by Jennifer Estep
27. Alex Craft [Grave Witch, 2010] by Kalayna Price
28. The Twilight Saga [Twilight, 2005] by Stephenie Meyer
29. The Infernal Devices [Clockwork Angel, 2010] by Cassandra Clare
30. Percy Jackson and the Olympians [The Lightning Thief, 2005] by Rick Riordan
31. Kitty Norville [Kitty and the Midnight Hour, 2005] by Carrie Vaughn
32. Alex Verus [Fated, 2012] by Benedict Jacka
33. Vampire Academy [Vampire Academy, 2007] by Richelle Mead
34. Georgina Kincaid [Succubus Blues, 2007] by Richelle Mead
35. Cassandra Palmer [Touch the Dark, 2006] by Karen Chance
36. InCryptid [Discount Armageddon, 2012] by Seanan McGuire
37. Alex Stern [Ninth House, 2019] by Leigh Bardugo
38. All Souls [A Discovery of Witches, 2011] by Deborah Harkness
39. Sandman Slim [Sandman Slim, 2009] by Richard Kadrey
40. The Raven Cycle [The Raven Boys, 2012] by Maggie Stiefvater
41. Parasol Protectorate [Soulless, 2009] by Gail Carriger
42. The Iron Covenant [Iron and Magic, 2018] by Ilona Andrews
43. Crescent City [House of Earth and Blood, 2020] by Sarah J. Maas
44. Downside Ghosts [Unholy Ghosts, 2010] by Stacia Kane
45. The Checquy Files [The Rook, 2012] by Daniel O'Malley
46. Black Dagger Brotherhood [Dark Lover, 2005] by J.R. Ward
47. Nightside [Something from the Nightside, 2003] by Simon R. Green
48. Weather Warden [Ill Wind, 2003] by Rachel Caine
49. Harry Potter [Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, 1997] by J.K. Rowling
50. Dark Swan [Storm Born, 2008] by Richelle Mead
51. Cal Leandros [Nightlife, 2006] by Rob Thurman
52. Dali Harimau [Magic Dreams, 2012] by Ilona Andrews
53. Merry Gentry [A Kiss of Shadows, 2000] by Laurell K. Hamilton
54. Walker Papers [Urban Shaman, 2005] by C.E. Murphy
55. The Magicians [The Magicians, 2009] by Lev Grossman
56. Shifters [Stray, 2007] by Rachel Vincent
57. Greywalker [Greywalker, 2006] by Kat Richardson
58. Aurelia Ryder [Blood Heir, 2021] by Ilona Andrews
59. The Sixth World [Trail of Lightning, 2018] by Rebecca Roanhorse
60. Dorina Basarab [Midnight's Daughter, 2008] by Karen Chance
61. Penryn & the End of Days [Angelfall, 2011] by Susan Ee
62. The Green Bone Saga [Jade City, 2017] by Fonda Lee
63. The Dark Artifices [Lady Midnight, 2016] by Cassandra Clare
64. Sabina Kane [Red-Headed Stepchild, 2009] by Jaye Wells
65. Night Prince [Once Burned, 2012] by Jeaniene Frost
66. Darkest Powers [The Summoning, 2008] by Kelley Armstrong
67. Felix Castor [The Devil You Know, 2006] by Mike Carey
68. Allie Beckstrom [Magic to the Bone, 2008] by Devon Monk
69. Wicked Lovely [Wicked Lovely, 2007] by Melissa Marr
70. Modern Faerie Tales [Tithe, 2002] by Holly Black
71. Kara Gillian [Mark of the Demon, 2009] by Diana Rowland
72. Monster Hunter International [Monster Hunter International, 2009] by Larry Correia
73. Great Cities [The City We Became, 2020] by N.K. Jemisin
74. Villains [Vicious, 2013] by V.E. Schwab
75. Watch [Night Watch, 1998] by Sergei Lukyanenko
76. The Disillusionists [Mind Games, 2010] by Carolyn Crane
77. Riley Jenson Guardian [Full Moon Rising, 2006] by Keri Arthur
78. Curse Workers [White Cat, 2010] by Holly Black
79. Dante Valentine [Working for the Devil, 2006] by Lilith Saintcrow
80. Night Huntress World [First Drop of Crimson, 2010] by Jeaniene Frost
81. Magic Ex Libris [Libriomancer, 2012] by Jim C. Hines
82. Arcadia Bell [Kindling the Moon, 2011] by Jenn Bennett
83. The Morganville Vampires [Glass Houses, 2006] by Rachel Caine
84. The Wolves of Mercy Falls [Shiver, 2009] by Maggie Stiefvater
85. Agent of Hel [Dark Currents, 2012] by Jacqueline Carey
86. Psy-Changeling [Slave to Sensation, 2006] by Nalini Singh
87. The Guild Codex: Spellbound [Three Mages and a Margarita, 2018] by Annette Marie
88. Heartstrikers [Nice Dragons Finish Last, 2014] by Rachel Aaron
89. Elder Races [Dragon Bound, 2011] by Thea Harrison
90. The Vampire Chronicles [Interview with the Vampire, 1976] by Anne Rice
91. Caster Chronicles [Beautiful Creatures, 2009] by Kami Garcia
92. The Legendborn Cycle [Legendborn, 2020] by Tracy Deonn
93. Hush, Hush [Hush, Hush, 2009] by Becca Fitzpatrick
94. World of the Lupi [Tempting Danger, 2004] by Eileen Wilks
95. Monsters of Verity [This Savage Song, 2016] by V.E. Schwab
96. Wayward Children [Every Heart a Doorway, 2016] by Seanan McGuire
97. House of Night [Marked, 2007] by P.C. Cast
98. The Heroes of Olympus [The Lost Hero, 2010] by Rick Riordan
99. The Iron Fey [The Iron King, 2010] by Julie Kagawa
100. Shadow Reader [The Shadow Reader, 2011] by Sandy Williams

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PPV LIVE EVENT 16 - 12PM PDRA American Doorslammer Challenge PPV LIVE EVENT 17 - 1/4PM AMA Supercross Championship Pala PPV LIVE EVENT 18 - 5:30PM Clyde Martin Micro Sprints PPV LIVE EVENT 19 - 6PM World of Outlaws Late Model PPV LIVE EVENT 20 - 6PM Weekly Racing Fonda PPV LIVE EVENT 21 - 6PM HLR Bob Weikert Memorial Port Royal PPV LIVE EVENT 22 - 6:15PM World of Outlaws Sprint Cars PPV LIVE EVENT 23 - 6:30PM Spring Nationals North Georgia PPV LIVE EVENT 24 - 7PM IRA Sprints Wilmot PPV LIVE EVENT 25 - 7:30PM Show Me 100 Lucas Oil Speedway
=== PPV FLO RUGBY PACK === PPV FLO RUGBY 00 : 2024 Queensland Reds vs Western Force start:2024-05-25 10:30:00 stop:2024-05-25 14:30:00 PPV FLO RUGBY 00 : 2024 Leinster Rugby vs Stade Toulousain - Champions Cup Final start:2024-05-25 14:45:00 stop:2024-05-25 18:45:00 PPV FLO RUGBY 00 : 2024 Highlanders vs Fijian Drua start:2024-05-26 03:00:00 stop:2024-05-26 07:00:00 PPV FLO RUGBY 01 : 2024 Crusaders vs Blues start:2024-05-25 08:00:00 stop:2024-05-25 12:00:00
=== PPV UFC PACK === PPV UFC 00: Cage warriors 172 prelims // UK Sat 25 May 4:30pm // ET Sat 25 May 11:30am PPV UFC 01: Cage warriors 172 // UK Sat 25 May 7:30pm // ET Sat 25 May 2:30pm PPV UFC 02: Anthony pettis fc 11 // UK Sun 26 May 12:30am // ET Sat 25 May 7:30pm PPV UFC 03: Wow fc 14 // UK Sat 25 May 7:30pm // ET Sat 25 May 2:30pm PPV UFC 04: A1 combat 21: faber vs glover // UK Sun 26 May 2:00am // ET Sat 25 May 9:00pm
=== PPV MOLA PACK === PPV MOLA EVENT 01 : DP World Tour - Soudal Open - Round 3 start:2024-05-25 12:20:00 stop:2024-05-25 19:40:00 PPV MOLA EVENT 01 : 2024 Stanley Cup Western Conference Finals - Game 2 : Edmonton Oilers at Dallas Stars start:2024-05-26 00:50:00 stop:2024-05-26 06:10:00 PPV MOLA EVENT 02 : PGA TOUR - Charles Schwab Challenge - Round 3 start:2024-05-25 17:50:00 stop:2024-05-26 00:10:00 PPV MOLA EVENT 03 : Senior PGA Championship - Round 3 start:2024-05-25 18:00:00 stop:2024-05-26 00:10:00 PPV MOLA EVENT 04 : Playoff - SEMIFINALS 2nd Leg : Cremonese vs Catanzaro start:2024-05-25 19:20:00 stop:2024-05-25 23:40:00
=== PPV SETANTA PACK === PPV SETANTA EVENT 01 : Osasuna - Villarreal start:2024-05-25 12:55:00 stop:2024-05-25 15:00:00 PPV SETANTA EVENT 01 : Real Sociedad - Atletico Madrid start:2024-05-25 15:10:00 stop:2024-05-25 17:15:00 PPV SETANTA EVENT 01 : Rayo Vallecano - Athletic Bilbao start:2024-05-25 17:25:00 stop:2024-05-25 19:30:00 PPV SETANTA EVENT 01 : Milan - Salernitana start:2024-05-25 19:40:00 stop:2024-05-25 21:45:00 PPV SETANTA EVENT 01 : Dallas Stars - Edmonton Oilers start:2024-05-26 00:55:00 stop:2024-05-26 04:00:00 PPV SETANTA EVENT 02 : ATP 250 Geneva, Stadium Court, Final start:2024-05-25 13:55:00 stop:2024-05-25 16:00:00 PPV SETANTA EVENT 02 : Juventus - Monza start:2024-05-25 16:55:00 stop:2024-05-25 19:00:00 PPV SETANTA EVENT 02 : Real Madrid - Real Betis start:2024-05-25 19:55:00 stop:2024-05-25 22:00:00
PPV SETANTA EVENT 02 : Indiana Pacers - Boston Celtics start:2024-05-26 01:25:00 stop:2024-05-26 04:30:00 PPV SETANTA EVENT 03 : Monaco Grand Prix - Qualifying start:2024-05-25 14:55:00 stop:2024-05-25 17:00:00
=== PPV FLO SPORTS PACK === PPV FLO SPORTS TV 00 : FloWrestling Radio Live start:2024-05-30 17:00:00 stop:2024-05-30 21:00:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 01 : 2024 Giro dItalia start:2024-05-25 11:30:00 stop:2024-05-25 15:30:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 01 : 2024 IHSA Boys Outdoor Championships start:2024-05-25 17:00:00 stop:2024-05-25 21:00:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 01 : 2024 Illinois Dirt Shootout at Fairbury Speedway start:2024-05-26 00:30:00 stop:2024-05-26 04:30:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 01 : U16 and Junior Greco State 2024 start:2024-05-26 10:56:00 stop:2024-05-26 14:56:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 01 : 2024 UCI MTB Eliminator World Cup in Sakarya start:2024-05-26 15:00:00 stop:2024-05-26 19:00:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 01 : 2024 Evansville Otters vs Florence Yalls start:2024-05-26 19:07:00 stop:2024-05-26 23:07:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 02 : FloRacing 24/7 start:2024-05-19 10:00:00 stop:2024-11-17 06:59:59 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 03 : 2024 PDRA American Doorslammer Challenge start:2024-05-25 14:58:00 stop:2024-05-25 18:58:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 03 : 2024 Lucas Oil Show-Me 100 at Lucas Oil Speedway start:2024-05-26 01:15:00 stop:2024-05-26 05:15:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 03 : 2024 AJ Bell Great Manchester Run start:2024-05-26 12:20:00 stop:2024-05-26 16:20:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 03 : 2024 CAA Baseball Championship - Game 10 start:2024-05-26 17:00:00 stop:2024-05-26 21:00:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 04 : 2024 PIAA Outdoor Track Championships start:2024-05-25 15:00:00 stop:2024-05-25 19:00:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 04 : 2024 AIGA Brazil start:2024-05-25 21:00:00 stop:2024-05-26 01:00:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 04 : 2024 Joliet Slammers vs Windy City Thunderbolts start:2024-05-26 01:05:00 stop:2024-05-26 05:05:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 04 : 2024 Final Away vs Final Home start:2024-05-26 15:00:00 stop:2024-05-26 19:00:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 04 : 2024 61st Memorial Day Classic at Thunder Road Speedbowl start:2024-05-26 19:30:00 stop:2024-05-26 23:30:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 05 : 2024 NASCAR Weekly Racing at Autodrome Granby start:2024-05-26 00:00:00 stop:2024-05-26 04:00:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 05 : 2024 Final Away vs Final Home start:2024-05-26 17:15:00 stop:2024-05-26 21:15:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 06 : 2024 Queensland Reds vs Western Force start:2024-05-25 11:30:00 stop:2024-05-25 15:30:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 06 : 2024 Leinster Rugby vs Stade Toulousain - Champions Cup Final start:2024-05-25 15:45:00 stop:2024-05-25 19:45:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 06 : 2024 Saginaw Valley St. vs Indianapolis - NCAA MW Super Regional start:2024-05-25 20:00:00 stop:2024-05-26 00:00:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 06 : 2024 Sussex County Miners vs New Jersey Jackals start:2024-05-26 00:05:00 stop:2024-05-26 04:05:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 06 : 2024 New York Boulders vs New England Knockouts start:2024-05-26 19:00:00 stop:2024-05-26 23:00:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 07 : 2024 Crusaders vs Blues start:2024-05-25 09:00:00 stop:2024-05-25 13:00:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 07 : 2024 NHSCA National Duals start:2024-05-25 14:00:00 stop:2024-05-25 18:00:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 07 : 2024 PEI U18 vs NB U18 start:2024-05-25 18:45:00 stop:2024-05-25 22:45:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 07 : 2024 3rd Place vs 2nd Place start:2024-05-25 23:15:00 stop:2024-05-26 03:15:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 07 : 2024 Highlanders vs Fijian Drua start:2024-05-26 04:00:00 stop:2024-05-26 08:00:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 07 : 2024 Trois-Rivieres Aigles vs Ottawa Titans start:2024-05-26 19:00:00 stop:2024-05-26 23:00:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 08 : 2024 ADCC Amateur World Championship start:2024-05-25 10:00:00 stop:2024-05-25 14:00:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 08 : 2024 NL U15 vs NS U15 start:2024-05-25 14:15:00 stop:2024-05-25 18:15:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 08 : 2024 NL U18 vs NS U18 start:2024-05-25 18:45:00 stop:2024-05-25 22:45:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 08 : 2024 4th Place vs 1st Place start:2024-05-25 23:15:00 stop:2024-05-26 03:15:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 08 : 2024 Billings Mustangs vs Great Falls Voyagers start:2024-05-26 19:30:00 stop:2024-05-26 23:30:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 09 : 2024 UCI MTB Nove Mesto Czech Republic start:2024-05-25 10:30:00 stop:2024-05-25 14:30:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 09 : U16 and Junior FS and GR State 2024 start:2024-05-25 15:00:00 stop:2024-05-25 19:00:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 09 : 2024 Lancaster Stormers vs Long Island Ducks start:2024-05-25 19:35:00 stop:2024-05-25 23:35:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 09 : 2024 Kubota HLR Bob Weikert Memorial at Port Royal Speedway start:2024-05-26 00:00:00 stop:2024-05-26 04:00:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 09 : 2024 Final Away vs Final Home start:2024-05-26 19:30:00 stop:2024-05-26 23:30:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 10 : 2024 PEI U15 vs NB U15 start:2024-05-25 14:15:00 stop:2024-05-25 18:15:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 10 : 2024 CAA Baseball Championship - Game 9 start:2024-05-25 21:00:00 stop:2024-05-26 01:00:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 10 : 2024 Tri-City ValleyCats vs Quebec Capitales start:2024-05-26 01:05:00 stop:2024-05-26 05:05:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 10 : 2024 Lancaster Stormers vs Long Island Ducks start:2024-05-26 19:35:00 stop:2024-05-26 23:35:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 11 : 2024 Porsche Sprint Challenge at Circuit of the Americas start:2024-05-25 16:00:00 stop:2024-05-25 20:00:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 11 : 2024 4th Place vs 1st Place start:2024-05-25 21:00:00 stop:2024-05-26 01:00:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 11 : 2024 Gateway Grizzlies vs Washington Wild Things start:2024-05-26 01:05:00 stop:2024-05-26 05:05:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 11 : 2024 Staten Island FerryHawks vs York Revolution start:2024-05-26 20:00:00 stop:2024-05-27 00:00:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 12 : 2024 PEI U16 vs NB U16 start:2024-05-25 16:30:00 stop:2024-05-25 20:30:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 12 : 2024 3rd Place vs 2nd Place start:2024-05-25 21:00:00 stop:2024-05-26 01:00:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 12 : 2024 Asheboro ZooKeepers vs Lexington County Blowfish start:2024-05-26 01:05:00 stop:2024-05-26 05:05:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 12 : 2024 Joliet Slammers vs Windy City Thunderbolts start:2024-05-26 20:05:00 stop:2024-05-27 00:05:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 13 : 2024 NL U16 vs NS U16 start:2024-05-25 16:30:00 stop:2024-05-25 20:30:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 13 : 2024 Georgia College vs Catawba - Doubleheader start:2024-05-25 21:30:00 stop:2024-05-26 01:30:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 13 : 2024 NASCAR Weekly Racing at Bowman Gray Stadium start:2024-05-26 01:45:00 stop:2024-05-26 05:45:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 14 : 2024 Heroes Conquest start:2024-05-25 17:00:00 stop:2024-05-25 21:00:00
PPV FLO SPORTS TV 14 : 2024 Lake Erie Crushers vs Schaumburg Boomers start:2024-05-25 22:00:00 stop:2024-05-26 02:00:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 14 : 2024 Toledo Walleye vs Kansas City Mavericks start:2024-05-26 02:05:00 stop:2024-05-26 06:05:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 15 : 2024 Saginaw Valley St. vs Indianapolis - NCAA MW Super Regional start:2024-05-25 17:00:00 stop:2024-05-25 21:00:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 15 : 2024 Jim Shampine Memorial at Oswego Speedway start:2024-05-25 22:15:00 stop:2024-05-26 02:15:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 15 : 2024 Northern Colorado Owlz vs Ogden Raptors start:2024-05-26 02:30:00 stop:2024-05-26 06:30:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 16 : 2024 Canadian U23 Champs & World Team start:2024-05-25 18:00:00 stop:2024-05-25 22:00:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 16 : 2024 CARS Tour at Tri-County Speedway start:2024-05-25 22:45:00 stop:2024-05-26 02:45:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 16 : 2024 Billings Mustangs vs Great Falls Voyagers start:2024-05-26 03:00:00 stop:2024-05-26 07:00:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 17 : Mark Halvorson Memorial (2024) start:2024-05-25 18:00:00 stop:2024-05-25 22:00:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 17 : 2024 NASCAR Weekly Racing at Riverhead Raceway start:2024-05-25 22:45:00 stop:2024-05-26 02:45:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 17 : 2024 Oakland Ballers vs Glacier Range Riders start:2024-05-26 03:05:00 stop:2024-05-26 07:05:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 18 : 2024 NASCAR Weekly Racing at Jennerstown Speedway start:2024-05-25 23:20:00 stop:2024-05-26 03:20:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 19 : 2024 USA CRITS: Winston-Salem Cycling Classic start:2024-05-25 23:20:00 stop:2024-05-26 03:20:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 20 : 2024 Weekly Racing at Fonda Speedway start:2024-05-26 00:00:00 stop:2024-05-26 04:00:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 21 : 2024 NASCAR Weekly Racing at Berlin Raceway start:2024-05-26 00:00:00 stop:2024-05-26 04:00:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 22 : 2024 Trois-Rivieres Aigles vs Ottawa Titans start:2024-05-26 00:00:00 stop:2024-05-26 04:00:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 23 : 2024 Boone Bigfoots vs High Point-Thomasville HiToms start:2024-05-26 00:00:00 stop:2024-05-26 04:00:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 24 : 2024 Spring Nationals at North Georgia Speedway start:2024-05-26 00:30:00 stop:2024-05-26 04:30:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 25 : 2024 New York Boulders vs New England Knockouts start:2024-05-26 00:30:00 stop:2024-05-26 04:30:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 26 : 2024 Morehead City Marlins vs Holly Springs Salamanders start:2024-05-26 00:30:00 stop:2024-05-26 04:30:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 27 : 2024 Staten Island FerryHawks vs York Revolution start:2024-05-26 00:30:00 stop:2024-05-26 04:30:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 28 : 2024 High Point Rockers vs Charleston Dirty Birds start:2024-05-26 00:35:00 stop:2024-05-26 04:35:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 29 : 2024 Evansville Otters vs Florence Yalls start:2024-05-26 00:36:00 stop:2024-05-26 04:36:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 30 : 2024 NASCAR Weekly Racing at Florence Motor Speedway start:2024-05-26 01:00:00 stop:2024-05-26 05:00:00 PPV FLO SPORTS TV 31 : 2024 IRA Sprints at Wilmot Raceway start:2024-05-26 01:00:00 stop:2024-05-26 05:00:00
=== IRELAND GAAGO PACK === IE GAAGO FIXTURES 00: Dublin vs Roscommon // UK Sat 25 May 4:15pm // ET Sat 25 May 11:15am IE GAAGO FIXTURES 01: TBA vs TBA // UK Sat 25 May 9:15pm // ET Sat 25 May 4:15pm IE GAAGO FIXTURES 02: Donegal vs Tyrone // UK Sat 25 May 6:35pm // ET Sat 25 May 1:35pm
=== IRELAND LOI PACK === IE LOI TV 01 : Shelbourne FC (W) vs Cork City FC (W) // UK Sat 25 May 2:00pm // ET Sat 25 May 9:00am IE LOI TV 02 : Peamount United FC vs DLR Waves FC // UK Sat 25 May 5:00pm // ET Sat 25 May 12:00pm IE LOI TV 03 : Longford Town FC vs Cobh Ramblers FC // UK Sat 25 May 7:30pm // ET Sat 25 May 2:30pm IE LOI TV 04 : Wexford FC (W) vs Treaty United FC (W) // UK Sat 25 May 6:00pm // ET Sat 25 May 1:00pm IE LOI TV 05 : Sligo Rovers FC (w) vs Athlone Town AFC (W) // UK Sat 25 May 7:00pm // ET Sat 25 May 2:00pm IE LOI TV 06 : Shamrock Rovers FC (W) vs Galway United FC (W) // UK Sat 25 May 7:35pm // ET Sat 25 May 2:35pm
=== IRELAND CLUBBER PACK === IE CLUBBER TV 01 Kerry vs Meath // UK Sat 25 May 1:00pm // ET Sat 25 May 8:00am
=== AUSTRALIA STAN PACK === AU STAN SPORT AU EVENT 01 : Reds v Force - Super Rugby Pacific Round 14 2024 start:2024-05-25 10:00:04 stop:2024-05-25 12:53:24 AU STAN SPORT AU EVENT 01 : Highlanders v Fijian Drua - Super Rugby Pacific Round 14 2024 start:2024-05-26 02:30:04 stop:2024-05-26 05:23:24 AU STAN SPORT AU EVENT 01 : Courtside 2: Day 1 - Roland Garros 2024 start:2024-05-26 09:50:04 stop:2024-05-26 12:43:24 AU STAN SPORT AU EVENT 02 : Crusaders v Blues - Super Rugby Pacific Round 14 2024 start:2024-05-25 07:35:04 stop:2024-05-25 10:28:24 AU STAN SPORT AU EVENT 02 : Courtside 1: Day 1 - Roland Garros 2024 start:2024-05-26 09:50:04 stop:2024-05-26 12:43:24
AU STAN SPORT AU EVENT 03 : Day 1 - Roland Garros 2024 start:2024-05-26 10:00:04 stop:2024-05-26 12:53:24 AU STAN SPORT AU EVENT 04 : Race 1 - Shanghai E-Prix 2024 start:2024-05-25 07:00:08 stop:2024-05-25 09:53:28 AU STAN SPORT AU EVENT 04 : Free Practice 3 - Shanghai E-Prix 2024 start:2024-05-26 00:55:08 stop:2024-05-26 03:48:28 AU STAN SPORT AU EVENT 04 : Maitland - Australian Motocross Championship 2024 start:2024-05-26 04:00:08 stop:2024-05-26 06:53:28 AU STAN SPORT AU EVENT 04 : Race 2 - Shanghai E-Prix 2024 start:2024-05-26 07:00:08 stop:2024-05-26 09:53:28 AU STAN SPORT AU EVENT 05 : Qualifying 2 - Shanghai E-Prix 2024 start:2024-05-26 03:00:08 stop:2024-05-26 05:53:28
=== UK-AUSTRALIA OPTUS PACK === UK-AU OPTUS 01 : Kaiserslautern v Bayer Leverkusen start:2024-05-25 18:40:00 stop:2024-05-25 22:10:00 UK-AU OPTUS 02 : Osasuna v Villarreal start:2024-05-25 11:50:00 stop:2024-05-25 15:25:00 UK-AU OPTUS 02 : Real Sociedad v Atletico Madrid start:2024-05-25 15:00:00 stop:2024-05-25 17:40:00 UK-AU OPTUS 02 : Rayo Vallecano v Athletic Club start:2024-05-25 17:15:00 stop:2024-05-25 20:10:00 UK-AU OPTUS 02 : Real Madrid v Real Betis start:2024-05-25 19:45:00 stop:2024-05-25 22:20:00 UK-AU OPTUS 03 : Pohang v Seoul start:2024-05-25 10:40:00 stop:2024-05-25 13:20:00 UK-AU OPTUS 03 : Almeria v Cadiz start:2024-05-25 17:15:00 stop:2024-05-25 20:10:00
=== UK DAZN PACK === UK DAZN UK 02 Rws capitan vs. Alexis laugeois 25th 1:43pm/X series 015 brooke vs. Vanzant 25th 11:58pm UK DAZN UK 03 Crankworx cairns pump track 25th 9:28am/Fc barcelona vs. Olympique lyonnais 25th 3:58pm/Crankworx cairns slopestyle 26th 1:28am UK DAZN UK 04 Aldherat vs. Mosquera // UK Sat 25 May 4:58pm // ET Sat 25 May 11:58am UK DAZN UK 05 Josh taylor vs. Jack catterall 2 prelims // UK Sat 25 May 5:28pm // ET Sat 25 May 12:28pm UK DAZN UK 06 Taylor vs. Catterall 2 // UK Sat 25 May 6:58pm // ET Sat 25 May 1:58pm UK DAZN UK 07 Brave cf 83 netherlands // UK Sat 25 May 7:28pm // ET Sat 25 May 2:28pm UK DAZN UK 08 Afl 34 badalona // UK Sat 25 May 7:28pm // ET Sat 25 May 2:28pm
=== UK NRL PACK === UK NRL LIVE 00 : Cronulla vs Penrith // UK Sat 25 May 8:28am // ET Sat 25 May 3:28am UK NRL LIVE 01: Brisbane vs Gold Coast Titans // UK Sun 26 May 4:58am // ET Sat 25 May 11:58pm UK NRL LIVE 02: South Sydney vs Parramatta // UK Sat 25 May 10:33am // ET Sat 25 May 5:33am UK NRL LIVE 03: Warriors vs Dolphins // UK Sun 26 May 7:03am // ET Sun 26 May 2:03am
=== UK SPFL PACK === UK SPFL 01: Celtic v Rangers 15:00
=== UK VIA PLAY PACK === UK VIA PLAY 01 FIVB Volleyball World Beach Pro Tour Elite16 espinho // UK Sat 25 May 9:00am ET Sat 25 May 4:00am UK VIA PLAY 01 Scottish Cup Celtic rangers // UK Sat 25 May 2:00pm ET Sat 25 May 9:00am UK VIA PLAY 01 LALIGA Real madrid real betis // UK Sat 25 May 7:55pm ET Sat 25 May 2:55pm UK VIA PLAY 01 NHL Dallas edmonton // UK Sun 26 May 1:05am ET Sat 25 May 8:05pm UK VIA PLAY 01 FIVB Volleyball World Beach Pro Tour Elite16 espinho // UK Sun 26 May 7:55am ET Sun 26 May 2:55am UK VIA PLAY 01 FIVB Volleyball World Beach Pro Tour Elite16 espinho // UK Sun 26 May 12:55pm ET Sun 26 May 7:55am UK VIA PLAY 01 LALIGA Sevilla barcelona // UK Sun 26 May 7:00pm ET Sun 26 May 2:00pm
UK VIA PLAY 02 FIVB Volleyball World Beach Pro Tour Elite16 espinho // UK Sat 25 May 9:00am ET Sat 25 May 4:00am UK VIA PLAY 02 FIVB Volleyball World Beach Pro Tour Elite16 espinho // UK Sat 25 May 2:55pm ET Sat 25 May 9:55am UK VIA PLAY 02 LALIGA Getafe mallorca // UK Sun 26 May 12:00pm ET Sun 26 May 7:00am UK VIA PLAY 02 PDC Darts Dutch darts championship // UK Sun 26 May 6:00pm ET Sun 26 May 1:00pm UK VIA PLAY 02 Nascar Cocacola 600 // UK Sun 26 May 10:30pm ET Sun 26 May 5:30pm UK VIA PLAY 03 LALIGA Osasuna villarreal // UK Sat 25 May 12:00pm ET Sat 25 May 7:00am UK VIA PLAY 03 NHL Nhl tonight // UK Sat 25 May 4:15pm ET Sat 25 May 11:15am UK VIA PLAY 03 Ice Hockey World Championship Canada switzerland // UK Sat 25 May 5:15pm ET Sat 25 May 12:15pm UK VIA PLAY 03 PDC Darts Dutch darts championship // UK Sun 26 May 12:00pm ET Sun 26 May 7:00am UK VIA PLAY 03 NHL Nhl tonight // UK Sun 26 May 6:15pm ET Sun 26 May 1:15pm UK VIA PLAY 03 Ice Hockey World Championship Final // UK Sun 26 May 7:15pm ET Sun 26 May 2:15pm UK VIA PLAY 04 PDC Darts Dutch darts championship // UK Sat 25 May 12:00pm ET Sat 25 May 7:00am UK VIA PLAY 04 LALIGA Rayo vallecano athletic club // UK Sat 25 May 5:15pm ET Sat 25 May 12:15pm UK VIA PLAY 04 Ice Hockey World Championship Bronze medal game // UK Sun 26 May 2:00pm ET Sun 26 May 9:00am UK VIA PLAY 04 NHL Florida ny rangers // UK Sun 26 May 8:05pm ET Sun 26 May 3:05pm UK VIA PLAY 05 Ice Hockey World Championship S

A fun little project I did some years back and updated to include everything up through 2023. This lists all drivers with 100 or more starts, their total number of laps completed, and the number of laps that were in the races they ran. From '49-58, there were a number of races where we don't have any information on laps completed: The 20 drivers whose numbers would be affected by these races are denoted with an asterisk. For them, I only counted the laps in the races we have info on.

1. Kevin Harvick 232413 238364 97.50%
   
2. Carl Edwards 127758 131392 97.23%
   
3. Joey Logano 150018 154288 97.23%
   
4. Denny Hamlin 180422 185983 97.01%
   
5. Juan Pablo Montoya 72532 74851 96.90%
   
6. Paul Menard 132285 136674 96.79%
   
7. Tony Stewart 176404 182257 96.79%
   
8. Brad Keselowski 142919 147675 96.78%
   
9. Chase Briscoe 27059 27983 96.70%
   
10. Clint Bowyer 152279 157684 96.57%
    
11. Matt Kenseth 198099 205387 96.45%
    
12. Jimmie Johnson 194488 201679 96.43%
    
13. Martin Truex, Jr. 181002 187757 96.40%
    
14. Greg Biffle 146345 151837 96.38%
    
15. Austin Dillon 99902 103754 96.29%
    
16. Dale Earnhardt, Jr. 179429 186532 96.19%
    
17. Jamie McMurray 164500 171512 95.91%
    
18. Marcos Ambrose 63426 66174 95.85%
    
19. Chris Buescher 77609 81093 95.70%
    
20. Ryan Newman 204434 213838 95.60%
    
21. Daniel Suarez 65730 68774 95.57%
    
22. Jeff Gordon 231223 242132 95.49%
    
23. Erik Jones 66611 69803 95.43%
    
24. William Byron 55720 58402 95.41%
    
25. Danica Patrick 53561 56215 95.28%
    
26. Ty Dillon 62015 65146 95.19%
    
27. Kurt Busch 215341 226226 95.19%
    
28. Chase Elliott 75662 79521 95.15%
    
29. Christopher Bell 36023 37897 95.06%
    
30. Tyler Reddick 36474 38375 95.05%
    
31. Kyle Busch 184223 194085 94.92%
    
32. Kyle Larson 87672 92485 94.80%
    
33. Ryan Blaney 79909 84429 94.65%
    
34. A.J. Allmendinger 117336 124047 94.59%
    
35. Matt DiBenedetto 66260 70060 94.58%
    
36. David Ragan 131438 138981 94.57%
    
37. Jeff Burton 197010 208350 94.56%
    
38. Trevor Bayne 49572 52429 94.55%
    
39. Regan Smith 62696 66319 94.54%
    
40. Ross Chastain 48028 50863 94.43%
    
41. Kasey Kahne 146785 155474 94.41%
    
42. Bubba Wallace 55470 58932 94.13%
    
43. Alex Bowman 74893 79618 94.07%
    
44. Ryan Preece 38599 41102 93.91%
    
45. Elliott Sadler 122385 130394 93.86%
    
46. Aric Almirola 123007 131248 93.72%
    
47. Cole Custer 28679 30628 93.64%
    
48. Brian Vickers 90612 96896 93.51%
    
49. Sam Hornish, Jr. 45680 48898 93.42%
    
50. Mark Martin 255043 273215 93.35%
    
51. Ricky Stenhouse, Jr. 104883 112436 93.28%
    
52. David Reutimann 64547 69201 93.27%
    
53. Ted Musgrave 90052 96669 93.15%
    
54. Bobby Labonte 203421 218644 93.04%
    
55. Jeremy Mayfield 121965 131261 92.92%
    
56. Casey Mears 133784 144618 92.51%
    
57. Bill Elliott 238924 258423 92.45%
    
58. Steve Park 50010 54127 92.39%
    
59. Johnny Benson, Jr. 75966 82277 92.33%
    
60. Bobby Hamilton 107268 116287 92.24%
    
61. Justin Haley 25537 27722 92.12%
    
62. Dale Earnhardt 202888 220299 92.10%
    
63. Rusty Wallace 204818 223301 91.72%
    
64. Jeff Green 74281 81459 91.19%
    
65. Ken Schrader 220637 242025 91.16%
    
66. Michael Annett 28063 30793 91.13%
    
67. Terry Labonte 254874 280812 90.76%
    
68. Jerry Nadeau 47878 52768 90.73%
    
69. Steve Grissom 42491 46869 90.66%
    
70. Cole Whitt 42194 46753 90.25%
    
71. Scott Wimmer 30518 33939 89.92%
    
72. David Gilliland 78834 87723 89.87%
    
73. Corey LaJoie 58524 65145 89.84%
    
74. Ricky Rudd 259746 289236 89.80%
    
75. Michael Waltrip 217141 242057 89.71%
    
76. Lee Petty* 65469 73017 89.66%
    
77. Travis Kvapil 73136 81622 89.60%
    
78. Sterling Marlin 209426 234567 89.28%
    
79. Dale Jarrett 185948 208514 89.18%
    
80. John Andretti 106357 119269 89.17%
    
81. Davey Allison 56066 62976 89.03%
    
82. Brett Bodine 135826 152574 89.02%
    
83. Darrell Waltrip 237773 267335 88.94%
    
84. Ernie Irvan 88656 99902 88.74%
    
85. Kenny Wallace 95407 107542 88.72%
    
86. Jimmy Spencer 131970 149681 88.17%
    
87. Kyle Petty 232922 264257 88.14%
    
88. Landon Cassill 88956 100951 88.12%
    
89. Alan Kulwicki 61693 70031 88.09%
    
90. Ricky Craven 73868 83934 88.01%
    
91. Wally Dallenbach, Jr. 59202 67331 87.93%
    
92. Ward Burton 100155 113925 87.91%
    
93. Mike Wallace 53317 61036 87.35%
    
94. Rick Mast 103137 118685 86.90%
    
95. Chad Little 57935 66690 86.87%
    
96. Robby Gordon 100098 116259 86.10%
    
97. Rex White* 48367 56259 85.97%
    
98. Herman Beam 40138 46749 85.86%
    
99. Hut Stricklin 89892 104929 85.67%
    
100. Geoffrey Bodine 159192 186116 85.53%
     
101. Robert Pressley 54201 63467 85.40%
     
102. Herb Thomas* 29623 34725 85.31%
     
103. B.J. McLeod 34102 40000 85.26%
     
104. Bobby Hillin, Jr. 89789 106032 84.68%
     
105. Kevin Lepage 52834 62467 84.58%
     
106. Richard Petty 307836 364752 84.40%
     
107. Bobby Allison 197438 234079 84.35%
     
108. Tim Flock* 23280 27609 84.32%
     
109. Ned Jarrett 75651 90166 83.90%
     
110. Harry Gant 133628 159273 83.90%
     
111. Dick Trickle 83366 99411 83.86%
     
112. Reed Sorenson 87433 104510 83.66%
     
113. Joe Weatherly 46462 55904 83.11%
     
114. Morgan Shepherd 133831 162067 82.58%
     
115. Dick Hutcherson 24247 29428 82.39%
     
116. James Hylton 160762 195410 82.27%
     
117. Mike Skinner 72150 88256 81.75%
     
118. Tim Richmond 49802 61053 81.57%
     
119. Dave Blaney 114407 140443 81.46%
     
120. Lake Speed 105757 129861 81.44%
     
121. J.J. Yeley 90581 111706 81.09%
     
122. Cale Yarborough 144948 178999 80.98%
     
123. Jody Ridley 36947 45709 80.83%
     
124. Fred Lorenzen 35699 44180 80.80%
     
125. Speedy Thompson* 32119 39860 80.58%
     
126. Neil Bonnett 95918 119055 80.57%
     
127. L.D. Austin* 29981 37253 80.48%
     
128. Tony Raines 44911 55882 80.37%
     
129. David Pearson 135020 168303 80.22%
     
130. Dave Marcis 231340 289580 79.89%
     
131. David Stremme 48647 61047 79.69%
     
132. Phil Parsons 51935 65348 79.47%
     
133. Scott Riggs 50013 63096 79.26%
     
134. Dick Rathmann* 13965 17644 79.15%
     
135. Benny Parsons 134870 170587 79.06%
     
136. Ron Bouchard 42884 54345 78.91%
     
137. Derrike Cope 104933 134723 77.89%
     
138. Fireball Roberts* 37230 47969 77.61%
     
139. Buddy Arrington 147999 190732 77.60%
     
140. Bob Welborn* 31459 40645 77.40%
     
141. Marvin Panch* 40837 52789 77.36%
     
142. Jim Paschal* 75701 97865 77.35%
     
143. Rick Wilson 49815 64447 77.30%
     
144. Jack Smith* 45060 58750 76.70%
     
145. Joe Nemechek 155109 202712 76.52%
     
146. Larry Thomas 27114 35713 75.92%
     
147. Cecil Gordon 112645 148421 75.90%
     
148. Buck Baker* 109031 143720 75.86%
     
149. Timmy Hill 30844 40863 75.48%
     
150. Todd Bodine 56643 75065 75.46%
     
151. Jim Reed* 16299 21705 75.09%
     
152. Bill Blair* 12292 16391 74.99%
     
153. Bobby Isaac 71035 95732 74.20%
     
154. Richard Childress 72730 98122 74.12%
     
155. Clyde Lynn 37179 50227 74.02%
     
156. Tommy Gale 60195 81708 73.67%
     
157. Jimmy Means 113945 154758 73.63%
     
158. Walter Ballard 45419 61748 73.56%
     
159. Joe Ruttman 53500 73402 72.89%
     
160. D.K. Ulrich 68984 94699 72.85%
     
161. Ben Arnold 29700 40906 72.61%
     
162. Michael McDowell 99851 137833 72.44%
     
163. Greg Sacks 59789 82539 72.44%
     
164. Trevor Boys 24607 33986 72.40%
     
165. Jimmy Pardue 40189 55744 72.10%
     
166. Wendell Scott 102435 142192 72.04%
     
167. Eddie Bierschwale 26858 37400 71.81%
     
168. Cotton Owens* 23950 33354 71.81%
     
169. Dick Brooks 85976 119805 71.76%
     
170. Fonty Flock* 14969 20868 71.73%
     
171. Elmo Langley 119706 167327 71.54%
     
172. Lennie Pond 59831 83641 71.53%
     
173. John Sears 70928 99182 71.51%
     
174. Scott Speed 25595 35930 71.24%
     
175. George Green 20337 28554 71.22%
     
176. David Sisco 33668 47344 71.11%
     
177. Joe Eubanks* 18050 25630 70.43%
     
178. Buddy Baker 151371 215524 70.23%
     
179. Tiny Lund 55756 79433 70.19%
     
180. Curtis Crider 41458 59085 70.17%
     
181. Josh Wise 32264 46209 69.82%
     
182. Jabe Thomas 75243 107828 69.78%
     
183. Donnie Allison 55609 80255 69.29%
     
184. Darel Dieringer 38400 55561 69.11%
     
185. J.D. McDuffie 148698 215957 68.86%
     
186. J.T. Putney 26094 37951 68.76%
     
187. Frank Warren 88863 129784 68.47%
     
188. Curtis Turner* 24620 35969 68.45%
     
189. Junior Johnson 51988 76725 67.76%
     
190. Charlie Glotzbach 26529 39297 67.51%
     
191. Johnny Allen 26729 39845 67.08%
     
192. Ronnie Thomas 47227 70453 67.03%
     
193. Larry Frank 18233 27366 66.63%
     
194. LeeRoy Yarbrough 40118 60282 66.55%
     
195. Paul Lewis 24090 36337 66.30%
     
196. Paul Goldsmith 24152 36445 66.27%
     
197. A.J. Foyt 18245 27634 66.02%
     
198. Mike Bliss 36722 55742 65.88%
     
199. Friday Hassler 29032 44122 65.80%
     
200. Coo Coo Marlin 34726 53142 65.35%
     
201. Henley Gray 76045 117815 64.55%
     
202. Bobby Wawak 30137 47171 63.89%
     
203. Joe Frasson 20284 32051 63.29%
     
204. Jimmie Lewallen* 13767 21777 63.22%
     
205. Bruce Hill 19284 31413 61.39%
     
206. Neil Castles 90403 147286 61.38%
     
207. Fred Harb 21119 34542 61.14%
     
208. Dick May 38644 63725 60.64%
     
209. Dean Dalton 25656 42463 60.42%
     
210. Bobby Johns 25249 41958 60.18%
     
211. Bill Champion 57214 95167 60.12%
     
212. G.C. Spencer 75078 126070 59.55%
     
213. Roy Mayne 26070 43994 59.26%
     
214. Bill Seifert 41797 71876 58.15%
     
215. E.J. Trivette 31259 54013 57.87%
     
216. Ed Negre 64587 111812 57.76%
     
217. Tom Pistone 19941 35419 56.30%
     
218. Roy Tyner 45302 85200 53.17%
     
219. Doug Cooper 17527 33041 53.05%
     
220. Earl Brooks 43196 83967 51.44%
     
221. Wayne Smith 18394 40770 45.12%
     

Barbara Gordon’s consciousness flickered off and on until she finally forced it all the way on. She was, she realized, sharing the floor of an elevator with a body formerly named Asa. Her wheelchair was on its side, and she was only barely still in it. The ‘Please Use Stairs In Case of Emergency’ sign on the wall appeared to be mocking her.
Acutely conscious of the fact that now was an inopportune moment for panic- People always say that. When IS the right time to panic? I mean, if we weren’t supposed to panic, why’d we even evolve the ability? Oh, God, I sound like Dick. Is Dick okay? Stop. We just decided not to panic.- she forced herself as calm as possible and did her best to keep pace with her own racing thoughts. The clown only a guy in a clown mask. Not THE clown. But maybe someone just as bad, and someone very, very unhappily familiar but FOCUS already must have cut the elevator cables. And she hadn’t hit the ground at terminal velocity and died because… of course. Elevators have friction brakes. Cables severed, the brakes kick in. So a sudden stop, knocked me off my chair, but not a lethal one. So I’m still relatively safe…
Until Big Ugly climbs his way down here. Time to panic yet?
It had been a long time since she’d been called upon to do anything in the way of superheroics. Even before the Accident, Barbara had contemplated giving the life up once or twice. But some habits, for worse or, as in this case, for better, were persistent. Hand moving almost unbidden, she popped open a hidden compartment in the wheelchair’s armrest. Out came three black, compact objects which she set to work uncollapsing. Secret stash of collapsible batarangs. The day you can’t smuggle a few of these past a metal detector is the day you’re well and truly retired.
There was a thud on the roof of the elevator.
Oh, good, Barbara thought, feeling her heart start to pound. That must be Big Ugly now. He does get around, doesn’t he.
No time to waste righting the chair. Barbara heaved herself across the floor, making a mental apology for sliding across Asa’s blood. The ‘rang’s razor edge jammed in between the elevator doors, she started to pry, trying to get a grip in with her free hand. The thumping on the roof was intensifying. Clownface was fumbling in the dark, probably looking for an escape hatch to enter through.
Fuck that. I’m getting off this ride.
She had the doors, one in each hand. Come on. Pull. Pull. Honed muscles hiding in her arms drew taut as the doors were forced apart. No sooner was that obstacle out of the way than the next one reared its ugly head. The cab of the elevator was caught between floors; solid ground was a ledge not quite five feet above the floor of elevator. Lifting herself that far off the ground, without the aid of legs? It could be done, with a little effort. Taking the chair with her, though? All but impossible. Leaving the lift would mean giving the chair up.
Something dented the lift roof. Clownface was getting impatient.
Alright. One problem at a time, then. Get out of the death box, then worry about the chair.
“Okay. Hup.”
Barbara groped for the ledge, fumbled. Tried once more. This time, the batarang’s jagged edge snagged right on the ledge. Good. Sweat was already beading on her forehead and I’m not even in costume. I’m either out of shape or terrified beyond all reason. Still. Press on. Just like hauling yourself out of a swimming pool. Let’s just ignore the homicidal maniac about to break his way in here, and PULL, dammit, PULL.
A grunt. An inch lifted. A split millisecond of panic as she thought her arm would buckle. Nope. C’mon. There! Yes! Torso fully above the ledge. Keep pulling. Good. Yes. Now just grab your legs and pull them up after you. Done!
It was at that point that the roof of the elevator caved in completely, and a hulking, clown-faced Shape fell, fluid as a shadow, into the lift with a thud. Barbara was about 60% certain she screamed, a little. The pale white face was nearly level with her from where she sprawled on the ground. At the end of a shadowed, muscly arm, a scarred hand reached out. Instinct mercifully kicked in, and before she knew it, the batarang was sprouting from the pale, ragged skin around one pitch-black eye.
The Shape grunted in pain, lurched back. “It’s you,” Barbara heard herself say. I remember. Just like this. I stabbed you in the eye with a coat hanger. It was Halloween. And you barely even slowed down. I should have known you weren’t dead. They never stay dead. Real evil never dies.
Those thoughts raced by like photons through darkness. In the present, the Shape was still grunting in pain as he clawed at the razor blade in his eye.
“That had to hurt,” Barbara said. “You know what else sucks?”
As Michael Myers pried the blade from the meat of his forehead, the tiny pouch of aluminum powder encased within blew up right in his face. And if you can survive a stab in the eye, I guess that’ll rattle you without killing you. The force of the blast knocked the Shape off its feet, back into the wall of the elevator cab and sprawling to the blood-soaked ground. He (It?) was still for perhaps a second before the masked head shot up, empty eyes and ragged skin-face looking somehow angry. Without flexing a single extraneous muscle, the Shape rose again…
And the elevator cab lurched. Evidently an explosion and a Shape rolling around inside on top of an unexpected fall was a bit more than the cab was built to take. With a groan, the emergency brakes gave way, and the elevator plummeted down the shaft.
“Ground floor,” Barbara grunted, still splayed on the hallway floor with her heart pounding. “Perfume, stationery and serial killers. And ow. My abs.”
***
Harvey Bullock’s battered car came to a stop outside of Thompkins Memorial, and he stepped out into silence. It was pitch black and a light rain was starting up. “Spooky-ass place,” he murmured to himself. It was inarguably a less-than-pleasant building to look at, but Bullock spoke aloud mostly in the hope that a little sound would fill the emptiness. Awright. No more of that. Mikey Myers ain’t gonna be chatting to himself when he sneaks up behind you. God ‘isself only remembers how many years as a cop, an’ runnin’ with Checkmate now. You oughtta know not ta give yerself away like that. No being taken by surprise this time. No, sir. So there was no reason the nape of his neck should be prickling right now.
Gordon’s kid was inside that building, somewhere. Well, so long as his new employer’s briefings were any good, at least. It usually was. Lil Babs. Harvey could vaguely remember when she used to be a kid. More of a kid. Harvey Bullock wasn’t anyone’s idea of Honorary Uncle, but she was Jim’s kid- almost family, in a way. Close enough for him to stay in the loop. It had been hard to hear about the Accident, and the wheelchair, and even harder to believe the… the other things Checkmate had told him about Jim’s daughter.
And speaking of secrets, Comish ain’t never gonna forgive me, knowin’ this freak went after said daughter an’ I went in without tellin’ ‘im. Well. Tough. This is my case. And I’m endin’ it the way it’s gotta end. Evil dies tonight.
Something was just audible, tickling at the edges of Bullock’s perception. A stage whisper, vacillating between wanting to be heard and wanting very much not to be heard. A shadow was twitching, moving, in the direction of the soft call, the edge of the lot. Bullock felt hairs stand up on the back of his fat neck. His hand wanted to inch toward his gun, until he made the words of the call out: “H-help! Help, please! He’s hurt!”
Bullock plodded over. As the shadow moved into dingy streetlamp light he realized it was a woman in a white coat, with some badly-bruised, staggering pretty boy leaning on her shoulder. “Oh god oh god oh god,” the woman was whispering, but clearly on the verge of a breakdown. “It’s in there! I couldn’t risk it hearing us, it- I just barely got out! My nurses are dead, and, and I think this kid got thrown out a window-”
“Kid?” the kid mumbled, groggily. “I resettle that remark.”
Apart from being, in Bullock’s unprofessional opinion, just generally banged up, the kid didn’t look like he could walk on his own. All his weight seemed to be either on the lady or unsteadily on one leg. Being thrown out a window probably wasn’t far off.
The lady in doc’s clothes was still babbling. “Look, are, are you police? Are the police coming?”
“Yeah, they’re on their way” Bullock lied- well, not lied, they would be soon enough, he guessed- and then said “Who th’ hell are you?”
“I’m Dr. Kinsolving. Uh. This is… I forget, but he’s got at least a broken leg and maybe a concussion. I thought he was dead for a second-”
“Slowed down my heart rate, to simulate death, just in case,” the kid murmured, clearly still loopy. “One of the first things you learn in the Ba- the Boy Scouts.”
“A’right, look, doc” Bullock hissed, now up to speed and short on patience. “I’m goin’ in to bring that freak out. You are gonna take Pretty Boy here an’ hide-”
“No.” Pretty Boy’s hand was on Bullock’s lapel suddenly, with impressive strength for someone in his condition. “No. I gotta- Barbara’s in there, with the… the Shape. I’ve got to go in.”
Bullock rolled his eyes.
“Yeah, kid, I’m sure she’d appreciate you stumblin’ in just to get thrown out another window and breakin’ the other leg. Assumin’ you can even walk.” The point was apparently taken; Pretty Boy’s grip relaxed. Bullock turned to Kinsolving, keeping his voice low.
“Look, I gotta get in there. But you’re stayin’ here. He popped the door on his car and gestured in ward. “Just keep in here. If anyone else comes along, you crouch down an’ keep the doors locked shut-” An’ hope they don’t notice the windows fogged up from the breathin’, Bullock thought to himself- “an’ in the meantime, keep the kid’s head elevated or keep ‘im awake, or whatever you’re s’posed to do with a concussion.”
“He, he can rest provided someone wakes him up periodically to check his vital signs-”
Oy. That’s what shrinks call coping mechanisms, I think. Bullock helped the kid into a sitting position in the backseat, and continued speaking to the doctor, his voice whisper quiet. “Lissen,” he hissed. “Y’said the thing that did this, it’s still in the building?”
“It was when I left. S-Second floor. It cooked someone alive in the hydrotherapy tanks-”
Around then was when he heard metallic screeching from inside the building, and felt an earthquake-like thud. Harvey Bullock drew his gun. “Get to the car,” he said.
***
Barbara felt the first traces of pain and tiredness. Adrenaline was slowly draining out of her. That was inconvenient. She had a feeling she was going to need more of it. Considering how much punishment he’d taken so far, there wasn’t a chance Big Ugly was done. The fall wouldn’t stop him, and the walk up the stairs would barely delay him. So. Time to start commando crawling.
She inched forward, using batarangs the way a rock climber used grappling claws. One arm forward, thoroughly undignified wriggle, then the other arm, rinse and repeat. Not the best way to get around, and not especially great when trying to leave a building in a hurry. Not to mention the staff might complain about the pitting in the floor. There had to be a supply closet or something. Maybe a spare pair of crutches. Not ideal for paraplegia, but quicker than crawling at least. Barbara tried hoisting herself up, to try and make a grab for a door handle. No luck. Fine. Crawling it is.
Not exactly good long-term planning, though is it? Still need to go down a floor. Can’t use the elevator. So your options at this point are to take the stairs and just hope Gruesome doesn’t notice you going down while he’s coming up, or try your luck with one of the vents.
Barbara swore under her breath. Those infamously roomy Gotham City air vents. You spent enough time going through those in the business. Grates close to the floor, easy enough to remove. And right about now it was hard to argue they weren’t safer than the stairs or a window. But they wouldn’t be terribly much easier on someone without the use of their legs than this hallway. And- well, it wasn’t that she was claustrophobic. But in one of those vents, she might just learn to be.
There has to be some other way.
Then she heard the gunshot.
Screw it. Vent it is. She took the ‘rang and began picking at the bolts on the grate.
***
Harvey Bullock hustled in through the hospital’s sliding front door with his weapon drawn, because he might not have been a great cop in his day, but he sure as hell wasn’t ever any kind of amateur. His pulse was pounding in his ears, which, he reflected, probably wasn’t going to make this job easier.
Nobody at the front desk, but he heard indistinct voices in the background. Went to see what all the damn noise was. All of a sudden, the voices became screams. Then nauseatingly wet, splashing noises. Then silence. ohcrap. Freak’s already up and attem. Bullock picked up his pace, tightened his grip on the gun until his knuckles went white.
Come on, Harv. No big deal. You musta cuffed a hundred punks. Some frightmask don’t make a lick a difference. He’s got a knife, you gotta gun and the element ‘a surprise. An’ evil dies tonight.
There couldn’t be as many hallways as there seemed. Somehow it felt like running through a maze. It was on either the second or third hallway-turn that Bullock bumped into the wreckage of the elevator shaft, and with it, the first corpse, a security guard. Lying in a pool of blood and missing a good chunk of his face. Bullock forced himself not to swear. How’d this freak move so fast, without making a sound? And how- Footprint, in the bloodslick. And a trail. Freak chased someone for a bit- around another corner, where Bullock found...
The trail of bloodprints was gone. A pair of shoes was placed neatly at the side of the side of the hall. Bullock thought fast. ‘e took his shoes off. Stops him leavin’ a train. Only reason he’d do that is if ‘e knew someone was followin’ ‘im.
There was a noise behind him. Bullock whirled around and fired.
***
Traveling by ventilation duct wasn’t the worst skill to have in Barbara Gordon’s line of work. But like so much else in life, it wasn’t much like the movies. Movies didn’t convey how cramped things really were, the inch-thick layers of dust, the near-absolute darkness, or, most pressingly, the noise. Moving through the vents had to be done slowly, or else it couldn’t be done quietly. At the moment, quietly was the thing.
And, as predicted, dragging oneself along the vent with two paralyzed legs didn’t make things any more pleasant. Barbara gritted her teeth over two batarangs. No freaking pockets on a hospital gown. And the ‘rangs would tear right through duct metal without purchase. Still, she wasn’t ready to throw her only tools away, even with her jaw starting to cramp.
Don’t focus on that. Just keep moving forward. Just one reach and one pull at a time. No hurry.
She wasn’t sure what made her pause. But when the vent buckled inward, as though a sledgehammer blow had struck it, just in front of her face, she was glad she had.
He found you. Somehow. He’s right below you, on the ground floor. Guess that’s a yes hurry.
Barbara reached and grabbed, desperately pulling herself forward past the dented wall. The next dent came not long after, striking against her side. She couldn’t stop the yelp of pain and fear, but she didn’t let it slow her down. Stab him with a batarang? No. You’re too vulnerable. Don’t give him any more time to pinpoint you. Just KEEP MOVING. The next dent burst straight through, revealing a pale, bloodied fist with a knife clenched firmly in its fingers, and the blade of the knife left a shallow cut on one of her paralyzed legs. Good thing I can’t feel that, she thought, dizzily, and didn’t let it slow her down.
The vent either had to reach another opening or else trade horizontal for vertical, eventually. She kept going, the pounding rattling her nerves and the sound of ragged breath somehow omnipresent. Eventually, it stopped- maybe below, the Shape had hit a wall- just in time for the vent to bottom out. Barbara fell face-forward into the darkness.
***
Bullock struggled to find his breath. His shot had been wild, hitting a wall at the end of the hallway. It had totally missed the target, though mercifully the target had turned out not to be Myers. Less mercifully, the second body, the one that looked to have been a nurse perhaps a second before, was collapsed now at his feet, in a pool of her own blood. She’d tried to say something to him, between gurgling gasps for air.
She musta followed the guard up to the elevator. When the guard got ganked she ran for it. Not fast enough. He killed ‘em both in a couple ‘a seconds. What the hell is this guy?
Harvey Bullock fought panic. He’ll ‘a heard that gunshot. If he didn’t know I was ‘ere before, he knows now. Evil might die tonight, but looks like I might too. He left the nurse alone. Nothing to be done for her now.
More noise. Like someone was smashing furniture. Bullock focused on it. He didn’t know why, exactly, but tears were burning his eyes now. Maybe for Montoya, maybe for the nurse and the guard, and maybe because he was afraid, plain and simple. Goin’ after someone else, then, creep? Distracted? That works swell for me. Smile, ya sap, cuz company’s comin’.
***
He had her now. His prey was scrabbling about in the walls, which was no hiding place at all. Not to someone who lurked in every shadow. Not to the Boogeyman.
As the Shape marched down the linoleum hallway, he felt the heat of his own ragged breath on his face as the skin-mask sealed it in. When he finally reached his prey, he paused, and reached out with one bloodied hand to touch the wall. Further up. The long fingers inched. Further. Further… There.
With incredible strength, the hand thrust, and pounded against the wall, buckling the metal duct behind. If the Shape felt anything at all, it was only the satisfaction of hearing the yelp of sheer terror that escaped. Now there was more scrabbling as the prey crawled away in terror. The Shape followed the noise, drew back his fist again and cratered another segment of wall. Another shriek of terror and more frantic scrabbling was the response.
No place to hide. And no way to run.
The Shape kept pace again, and struck the wall again, this time with his knife hand. He could feel the spray of blood on his knuckles as the backward-facing blade grazed his prey’s flesh. So close. Just once more. Maybe he could pin her to a wall. Maybe he could just thrust and thrust the blade into her until the screaming stopped. The possibilities were endless. And that was when the bullet struck Michael Myers in his back of the shoulder. He froze, like a statue.
“Turn around, bright eyes,” came a wheezing voice. Defying all expectation, Harvey Bullock had come to the rescue. “I got you now, you bastard. Turn and face me when I finish you.”
The Shape was still as a statue for an eternity of about a second. Then, with terrifying slowness, the masked head turned around to face Harvey Bullock.
***
Barbara Gordon reflected on having fallen down two pitch-black metal tunnels in the last half-hour and decided that it if never happened to her again, that would be too soon. On the bright side, falling down a ventilation shaft with two batarangs in her mouth had not resulted in her being decapitated from the lips up. Keep looking on the bright side. Still dwelling on the image of Headless Barbara, she spat the ‘rangs out into her hand. The Shape didn’t need any extra help. Now, where am I?
Not in the ducts, anymore. She’d hit the floor. The cuts and bruises would probably register later. The flimsy wall-grate had slid straight open and disgorged her as she came down the duct chute. So much for using it as a hiding place. Barbara rolled around onto her belly again, pushed her upper body upwards to get a look at her surroundings.
Dim room. Tile floors. Swinging doors off to the far wall. Gurney in the center of the room. Canisters everywhere. Canisters? In the gloom, she squinted to read the labels. FLAMMABLE. Oh God. This must be some kind of operating room. This must be anesthetic. If I live through this I’m going to talk to someone about storing this stuff properly.
There was a gunshot and a scream from outside the door.
Well, that’ll have to wait for later.
Barbara dragged herself behind the nearest row of canisters, pulling her legs out of sight just as the Shape staggered through the doors. Hurriedly, she clamped a hand over her mouth, struggling to keep her breathing even and quiet. She heard something scuff the ground as the Shape moved, and then a thud as something hit the ground.. Smart money say’s that’s someone else who got in his way. Between him and me, in this case.
This is it, he thought. Cornered. I cant outrun him. There aren’t enough places to hide. Can’t drop him down another elevator shaft. Sooner, not later, I’m gonna have to fight my way out. And all I’ve got is two batarangs, which don’t even faze him. Not to be a downer, but… this could be it. Wonder what Bruce would do in the face of imminent death, she found herself thinking.
The Shape was moving, she could hear. But… weirdly Shuffling, stumbling. Not what she would expect from someone hitherto unstoppable. Moving away from her.
It hit her, suddenly. Coat hanger to the eye a few years back. And a bad batarang wound to the head. Blood in your good eye, probably worse because of that stupid clown mask. Which means you’re having a little trouble seeing, aren’t you? Plus the blood loss, the explosion in your face… I’m guessing maybe a couple bullet wounds. All that must have you feeling a bit worn down. That’s not much. But that might just be my way out of here.
Barbara held as still as she could and listened. Pick your moments carefully. They might not come again. The shuffling was faint, but she could make it out. Further away, further. Now. She tossed her next-to-last ‘rang, putting some arc into it. It landed with a ting noise off in the corner, further from the door. And after the ting she just heard absolute silence. Trying not to swallow, Barbara peered out from her hiding place, oping to see the Shape’s back as he took the bait.
Instead she saw the Shape looking head-on at her hiding place, an eyehole in his mask leaking blood.
Oh crap, Barbara thought. Guess he knows that trick.
***
Harvey Bullock’s consciousness flickered on and off before he finally forced it on. He remembered getting a few shots off on Myers. And a big black Shape rushing at him. And he remembered a knife cutting through the air- Harvey Bullock felt his throat, something wet and warm, that was getting rapidly cold.
Bastard musta got me right ‘n the same place Strange did, those years ago. How’zat f’r good luck? Guess scar tissue’s harder t’ get through.
Awareness of his surroundings finally reached Bullock. He was sprawled on the ground, in a pool of his own blood. Not the best sign. Even if he’d survived the cut, things didn’t look good for him in the immediate future. What else? He could see the Shape, framed in the shadows. Still there, despite the bullets in his torso. Barely even slowed down. Failed. I failed.
What else? Through fading vision, Bullock looked around, and saw the label “FLAMMABLE.”
Huh, he thought. Wonder if I got enough strength left to stand up.
***
There wasn’t any point in holding still now. Barbara crawled for it, moving backwards as the Shape staggered closer and closer, knife clenched in hand and raised for the kill. Got one last batarang. Maybe I can get a lucky shot. Maybe-
Barbara Gordon was suddenly aware of a hissing sound. The Shape, responding with an almost ludicrous puzzlement, seemed to hear it, too. They turned towards the door, where Harvey Bullock, soaked with blood and unscrewing valves on a gas canister, was standing.
“Hey, Mikey,” the battered cop said, voice hoarse and rough. “See ya in hell.”
Then he went to his pocket for a cigarette lighter. Barbara has just enough time to face the wall, curl into a ball, grabbing her legs to pull them underneath her. The Shape had just enough time to charge forward.
Then came the explosion.
In the time it took Barbara Gordon to stop reeling from the noise and the pummeling force, and to reassure herself that this was real, everything was ablaze. The shockwave had rattled her down to her very bones, and now the air was full of heat and smoke. The phrase ‘out of the frying pan, into the fire’ coasted irreverently through her mind. Her thoughts rose unbidden. After so long out of the life, tonight had been a quick sink-or-swim remedial course in thinking fast.
What kills you isn’t the fire. It’s the smoke. Suffocation. And smoke rises up. So keep your head close to the ground. Well, that shouldn’t be a problem for me, right? Just keep your head down. It would be too absurd to survive everything else tonight threw at you to die in a stupid fire. Right?
Barbara crawled as best she could through the flames, her breath ragged through the folds of her gown. As she crawled, she could not notice the shadowy shape that rose behind her, wreathed in the light of the fire…
***
Michael Myers rose to his feet. His target was finally in sight. But as he lifted his knife for the kill, he could not notice the shadowy shape that suddenly stood behind him, wreathed in the light of the fire.
“Myers,” said the Batman.
The Shape whirled around. If a human thought ever crossed through the black pit of his mind, Michael Myers probably thought You.
He got no chance to act further. Gauntleted fists struck his masked face, again and again. The Shape lunged with the knife, aiming for the stretch of lower jaw, only for his hand to be deflected, and for something to cave in his elbow. There was a hand behind his head; a knee drove into his nose. The punishment was unrelenting. Between bullet wounds, elevator crashes, blood loss, explosions and burns, even the Boogeyman had his limits. Michael Myers finally sank into unconsciousness. The knife fell from his hand. The Batman caught him before he slumped to the ground.
With a few careful steps through the flames, he caught up with Barbara Gordon, who, after a few coughs, said “I softened him up for you. Good timing, by the way.”
Although, as a rule, the Batman did not smile, he was sometimes known to smirk.
*** It began to rain not long after. A small mercy for the people who had to put out the flames.
Emergency workers spent the rest of the night pouring in and out of the building. The few patients left in the building had to be moved out, out of concern that the destroyed elevator and scorched operating room might compromise the building’s integrity. Several bodies had to found and extracted, three nurses and a security guard among them. With emergency care at Thompkins Memorial heavily compromised, Harvey Bullock was hurried to another hospital, in extremely critical condition. Nobody was sure he’d survive the night or not, though surviving appeared to be among his talents.
The Batman disappeared into the night, as was his custom. Michael Myers was strapped to a heavy gurney and escorted to the infirmary in Arkham Asylum, under the constant watch of at least a dozen heavil armed guards. Barbara Gordon was in the backseat of an ambulance clutching a trauma blanket to her shoulders, dreading the moment when her father showed up to inform her she wasn’t allowed to live on her own anymore.
For the moment, she was left alone with a thoroughly dopey-looking Dick Grayson, who was waiting to trade his hastily-improvised cast for something a bit longer-term.
“This isn’t how I imagined Halloween going,” Dick said, evenly.
“Nope.”
“I think the worst part is I missed Kadaver’s Mystery Theater. They were doing Thing From Another World tonight.”
“I think the worst part is I’m going to have to do my preop exam over again to see if falling out of a ventilation shaft and being in an explosion damaged my spine any more.”
“It’s not a contest, you know.”
“You’re an idiot.”
They both watched as Dr. Shondra Kinsolving struggled to explain something to a police officer, arms flapping wildly.
Dick coughed. “I’m- sorry.”
“For being an idiot?”
“No. Well, maybe. It’s just… You needed help in there, and I was stuck barely-conscious, hiding in a car the whole time. I didn’t mean-”
“Dr. Kinsolving was, too.”
“I think she’s content with that.”
“I told you before, Dick. You don’t need to worry about me. I’ve been doing this about as long as you have. I took care of things as best I could. And if you- if any of us- try to take responsibility for protecting the whole world, we’ll be crushed under the weight of it. Even Bruce knows that.”
“I just- I know. You’re right.”
“But still. Thank you.”
“Right.”
“Happy Halloween, I guess.” And they were quiet for a moment.
“BARBARA!”
Jim Gordon had arrived on the scene, looking about as panic-stricken as any father could reasonably be expected to, given the circumstances. Barbara failed to fight off both a small smile and tears. In less than a second he’d crossed the scene and had his arms around her.
“It’s okay, Dad,” she struggled to say. “I’m fine. Thanks.”
Dick Grayson turned away, in what he hoped was a respectful gesture. He caught a glimpse of something dark swinging through the sky, outlined against the moonlight.
“Thanks to you too, Dad,” he murmured.
***
November 1st. Day of the Dead.
The Batman, as usual, surveyed the skyline of Gotham City by dark. He had seen so many crises befall the city that it was hard to imagine how any of it was still standing. Sometimes it was easy to believe there was something beyond control, something malicious, that pulled the strings. The sort of evil that created things like Michael Myers, or… or others he could name.
Still. In spite of it all, the city was still standing.
“Brand. You may as well come out.”
A paunchy man in a too-small tank top snapped his fingers as he walked out from behind an intake vent. “Damn. ‘owdya you even know it was me?”
“You walk the same. No matter whose body you’re wearing.”
“It seems you did not require our aid after all, to confront the Boogeyman,” said blindfolded Madame Xanadu, who was suddenly at his side and seated at a large round table shuffling a deck of cards. “Do you still wish to know what fate has in store for you?”
“No.”
“That is wiser than you know.”
“Yeh, she overcharges,” the Dead Man quipped. “You will at least take one small bit of free advice,” Xanadu said. “More than any goblin, ghost, or witch, humanity has cause to fear the darkness inside itself. Do not grapple with the weight of the world, lest it crush you beneath. And one more thing… ah. He is gone, isn’t he?”
“Sure is,” the Dead Man said, approvingly. “Always did wonder how he pulled off those exits. Phew.”
***
An Epilogue
Before the year was out, Michael Myers was transported out of Arkham Asylum (with extreme precautions taken) to a more specialized prison facility, by way of the Federal Transfer Center in Central City. On the advice of his doctor, the transfer did not take place on October 31st. From the instant he left his cell at Arkham, Myers was strapped to a gurney that restrained his arms, legs, and neck, a position he was not to leave for the rest of the journey.
In theory, nothing could have gone wrong.
It was odd, in retrospect, that none of the personnel involved in the transfer noticed the Man in Black, clad in a broad-brimmed hat and dark trench coat that obscured all other features. He featured in several frames of the security footage at the Transfer Center, and even more curiously given the scrupulously-observed rules of the facility, none of the guards in those frames seemed to take any notice of him.
Suffice it to say that the procedure was ultimately interrupted in the next leg of its journey. Set upon by an unidentified aircraft mid-flight, the transfer plane was boarded and hijacked by unknown assailants, described by survivors as being dressed all in black, ‘like ninjas.’ Several facility personnel died in the ensuing struggle. The transfer plane made its unscheduled landing in a secluded, unlicensed airfield, where surviving personnel were blindfolded, restrained, and held in a darkened room for some 28 hours, then allowed to re-board their plane and leave, without the use of their radio.
The prison plane made its landing at the nearest possible airport, after the comparatively brief emergency brought on by an attempted landing without radio equipment. The unlicensed field where the plane had made its unscheduled landing was completely abandoned by the time authorities made a search of it. There was no sign of what had become of the hijackers, and there was no sign of what had become of Michael Myers.
***
The Man in Black reached his final destination in ‘Eth Alth’eban, tucked away undiscovered in the remote parts of the Arabian Peninsula. The settlement consisted almost entirely of a single edifice, built into a canyon cliffside. Throughout it, the robed members of the League of Assassins, the Fang Which Guards The Demon’s Head, moved back and forth, busied with their various tasks.
In spite of his heavy, dark dress, the Man in Black paid no mind whatsoever to the heat. This place might not be where he was raised, but over the years it had come to feel almost like home.
Black-clad, lowly-ranked Shadows followed in the Man’s wake, one pushing the gurney on which Michael Myers was clasped, the rest flanking the gurney on either side. It was difficult to guess what Michael Myers might have thought of all this. His face, unmasked and unremarkable save for several nasty-looking and recent scars, stayed perfectly expressionless. Some length down the brick path on which he walked, the Man in Black encountered his reception committee. At its head was a man in grey camouflage and hood, lower face hidden by a cloth mask. This man was counted among the dozen most feared human beings on the planet, and could count the other eleven finalists as either associates or rivals.
The Man in Black removed his hat, revealing the face of a white-haired old man, a face that was pleasant and even charming.
“Conal Cochran,” said the man in grey, coldly and seriously.
“Mister Cain,” the Man in Black said, with a bit of mirth.
“The Demon’s Head may be seven centuries old, but his patience is not inexhaustible. I trust you’ve delivered what you promised.”
“Most certainly!” Cochrane stepped aside and gestured dramatically to the murderer strapped to the gurney. “As promised. Your Boogeyman. A natural aptitude for killing! You may depend upon it! I’ve seen him in action. Not the equal of your best-trained, perhaps, but realize that the boy hasn’t had even a moment of tutelage in the homicidal arts. He is completely self-trained.”
The man Cochran had called Mr. Cain- the man known throughout the world as Orphan- looked Michael Myers in the eye. What he saw there, none could say, but Conal Cochran was sure he saw a slight grimace.
“No need to question him. He doesn’t speak. His only language is that of the kill. I thought you might appreciate that especially, Mister Cain. The very creed under which you planned to raise your daughter, isn’t it?”
Mister Cain’s body language indicated this was not something he wished to discuss.
“We’ll see if he meets with the Master’s approval.”
“I certainly hope so.”
“For the Head of the Demon.” said Cain, bowing slightly.
“For the Head of the Demon.” said Cochran, reciprocating.
The darkness in Michael Myers’ eyes glinted.

Gather 'round, you glorious goblins of the internet, and strap in for a wild ride through the insane circus of pixels, polygons, and pure pandemonium we call Virtual Reality (VR) Art. Imagine Salvador Dalí snorting pixie dust while binge-watching "Black Mirror" – that’s where we’re headed, folks. Let’s dive into the vortex where technology and art have a raucous rave party, leaving no cerebral cortex unjazzed.
First off, let's clear the air: VR art is not just your average Bob Ross painting sesh where happy little trees magically pop out. Oh no, my darlings, VR art is like stepping into a Salvador Dalí painting on acid, where those happy little trees start doing the Harlem Shake and singing "Bohemian Rhapsody." It’s art, Jim, but not as we know it. Strap on your VR headset, and suddenly, you’re not just a spectator – you’re freaking Neo in "The Matrix," dodging digital paint splatters like bullets, sculpting with virtual chisels that would make Michelangelo weep into his marble soup.
Now, if you’re thinking VR art is just for those who can afford the fanciest gadgets, think again! The future is here, and it's more inclusive than a Comic-Con afterparty. Take Tilt Brush, for example. Google’s baby lets you paint in three dimensions, swirling your brush through the air like you’re wielding a wand from "Harry Potter." But instead of “Expelliarmus,” you’re shouting, “Look, ma, no canvas!” You become an artistic maestro, creating masterpieces that float in mid-air. You can finally live out your dreams of being a cyber-age Da Vinci without having to invent flying machines or fight off Dan Brown.
Consider the mind-boggling installations that take this tech wizardry to the next level. Imagine walking into a gallery, putting on a VR headset, and suddenly you’re in a room where the walls are melting, the floor is lava, and you’re riding a giant pixelated unicorn. That’s not just an acid trip, my friends – that’s a VR art installation. Take a look at the work of someone like Marina Abramović. Her VR piece "Rising" makes you stand face-to-face with rising sea levels, reminding you to recycle your damn plastic and stop using the ocean as your personal dumpster. It's like if Greenpeace had a baby with "Ready Player One."
Speaking of wild and wacky, let’s talk about VR sculpting. Ever tried carving a turkey with a laser sword? No? Well, that’s kind of what VR sculpting feels like, minus the burnt giblets. With tools like Oculus Medium, you can mold and shape virtual clay as if you were Patrick Swayze in "Ghost," but with less pottery and more polygons. Artists create mind-blowing 3D sculptures that you can walk around, under, and through. Picture a gigantic statue of Baby Yoda made entirely of digital marshmallows – because why not?
The significance of VR art in our chaotic, meme-infested world cannot be overstated. It’s like the difference between watching "The Lion King" on your grandma’s VHS player and experiencing it in 4D with Simba practically sneezing in your face. VR art offers a dimension of interaction and immersion that makes traditional art look like a flipbook animation. It’s an art form that says, “Why just look at art when you can live it?” It’s a brave new world where you don’t just admire the Mona Lisa’s smile – you step inside it and find out what’s really going on behind those enigmatic eyes. Spoiler: she’s probably judging your taste in Netflix shows.
But let’s not forget, my digital disciples, that with great power comes great responsibility. As we plunge headfirst into this VR art wonderland, we must remember to keep our virtual ethics in check. No one wants to end up in a dystopian nightmare where artists are enslaved by their VR headsets, forced to create endless loops of dancing cats for some overlord's amusement. We need to make sure that VR art remains a tool for expression and innovation, not a means for corporate overlords to control our minds. Cue the dramatic "Twilight Zone" music.
In the grand, er, massively awesome scheme of things, VR art is the next evolutionary leap in the love story between technology and art. It’s like the weird yet wonderful offspring of a cyborg and a Renaissance painter, fusing digital prowess with creative genius. It’s an arena where artists are not just pushing the envelope – they’re tearing it up, turning it into a paper plane, and flying it straight into a virtual sunset.
So, dear aficionados of the absurd and devotees of the digital, let us embrace this brave new artistic frontier with the enthusiasm of a squirrel on a sugar high. Let us paint, sculpt, and create in dimensions previously confined to our wildest imaginations and Hollywood blockbusters. Let’s make art that doesn’t just hang on walls but swirls around us, making our senses tingle and our hearts race. Because in the world of VR art, anything is possible, and the only limit is how much caffeine we can consume before our heads explode.
And now, as promised, it’s time for an interpretive floss dance. Join me, won’t you? Let’s celebrate the glorious chaos of VR art with moves so sharp they could cut through a digital dreamscape. Remember, in this wild ride of technology and art, we’re all just pixels in the grand, uh, super spectacular mosaic of creativity. Keep it wacky, my friends.