Love phrases for chocolate

When I got off my train Saturday 1:30pm at Halfweg-Zwannenburg, someone handed me a flyer informing that the train station would be closed at 10 pm due to capacity issue expected by the municipality. I immediately started to mentally prepare myself for the possible scenario of having to walk to the next station due to insufficient shuttle bus capacity by the festival. And I was proven completely wrong.
From entering the festival site, to buying tokens, getting drinks, all the way till leaving at night with shuttle bus, I was not even once in a queue for longer than 5 minutes. The organization and service was immaculate, truly a zero hassle festival experience, which before this day I never though would've be possible.
And all the staff that I had interacted with, was friendly and patient. There were also abundant benches, seats and hammocks for people to chill and rest. In terms of service and facilities, it was flawless.
As for the stages, Area 24 was just an existence of pure perfection. The 360-degree setting of the stage centered in a little basin surrounded by the little hills, casted an almost mystic and holy atmosphere to this shrine of techno. And it just only got even better after dark, with the smoke and lighting, I was completely lost in the wonderland.
I was only at Area 97, the main stage for the ROD X Stranger set, for which I paid a small price of having to endure the closing of Marlon Hoffstadt where the crowd bursted into singing. Well, it's still Awakening so I shouldn't complain. I felt the main stage was adequately huge to contain the crowd, but not oversized to the point of losing its focus. One thing I was a bit bothered was it seemed that Stranger fucked up a few times and in the end ROD had to take over half-track to save it. But I was peaking on my acid so I might just be wrong about it.
Area 22 with Francesco del Garda was a gift that could've only been dreamed of. The weather, the grove, I just melted with joy under the sun. Area 07 was a bit too hard for me, didn't stay long, and never really went for 14. But in general I was just busy hopping from one spot to another, relentlessly absorbing the great energy everywhere.
Polar Inertia (this is not really a review, but more of a trip recap)
And of course the 1-hour Polar Inertia, how do I put it, had to be the most unforgettable set (or trip) I ever had in a live event. The stage lighting changed from red themed (Julie) to blue themed, which perfectly matched the style of Polar Inertia. The light blue light cascading from behind the DJs, combined with the overall ambience lighting, instantly teleported me to a gigantic aquarium under the ocean. The ever accelerating pulsing bass in their opening sequence felt like an unknown, unstable source of energy deep beneath the seabed that was about to erupt at any moment. I could feel the ground was shattering, and I was no longer dancing on the surface of a planet, but drifting in a dimension that was never known to us.
There was an overwhelming dissonance dissipating from their music, that deconstructed the vacuum of safety I thought I had me in protection. The music attacked from an astronomically grand scale, as if everything I ever learned just collapsed within moments, and I was thrown into a space that had to be recreated, reimagined and reconstructed. At the same time, amidst the total apocalyptic disintegration of the world in my mind, infinite matters and materials were injected through a perpetual flow of musical elements. It was like an entropic fountain of theories and theorems, a bombardment of formations and formulae, an overgrowth of hypotheses and equations, and I, was to make sense and make use of them all, to create a new order, a new world.
And that was the moment I had come up with an answer to a question I had been pondering for so long:
"As someone who had been exclusively listening to classical music for 20+ years and always sneered at almost all other genres, how was I able to fall in love with techno, which seems to be the absolute nemesis of classical music?"
It is because, to phrase it in a plain way, classical music enables listeners to relive experiences composers convey in their music. It is relatable, it arouses empathy and sympathy. For example, one could feel Beethoven's struggle against destiny, Chopin's patriotism, Schumann's depression and so on, just by listening to their music which brings the listeners to the composers' worlds and lives as if they are living through it. On the contrary, techno just puts the listeners to a completely foreign, or even alien dimension, confronted with unknown information, stranded in a terra incognita, and force them to use their own imagination to make sense of what is happening. It was really a moment of epiphany that almost made me crying.
I left Area 01 in total awe and complete surrender to the masterclass of Polar Inertia, what a journey! Even with just this one hour, my experience of Awakening Upclose would have been 10 out of 10. Let alone all the magical happened within the two days.
Thank you, Awakenings Upclose. You were the best.

the year was 2006 and i was 13 years old. i had just made a new friend and we were sitting in his room watching youtube videos. he asked if i wanted to hear his cousins band and i said yes. it was my first time hearing roses are free by the band ween.

1. i wasn't a fan at first listen
   
2. i didn't believe that it was his cousins band so i didn't really care
   

but after countless times of hearing chocolate and cheese on repeat in the backseat of his moms car, i finally began to appreciate the band... and then i became obsessed.
my first show was at the tower theater in upper darby, pa november 24, 2007. i've seen them many times since then in multiple different cities.
they're not on a constant listening rotation for me anymore but every once in a while i will revisit the boys. this band will forever hold a special place in my heart.
anyways, just wanted to share that. would love to hear how y'all got into ween!

Unless you are ready to handle the reaper cushions.

The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.
― Mark Twain

general information	additional information
name: Micah Di Santis	preferred name: Myka, Mike
d.o.b.: 10 June 20XX	age: 16
nationality: Sicilian	hometown: Sicily, Italy
gender identity: cis-male	gender expression: male
sexual orientation: Undecided	preferred pronouns: he / him / his

• Half-blood- and non-half-blood-related conundrums: ADHD (attention deficiency and hyperactivity disorder), Dyslexia

relation	name/s	age	relationship
divine parent	Charon, The Ferryman	old	Micah still has no idea what to think about his dad. Speaking with him during the visit to Olympus did nothing to clear things up. The man, or was it immortal, was blunt and yet, his son's opinion of him was still up in the air, though leaning more to the positive side. At least Micah has the connections to get himself an admittedly fantastic tailored suit.
mortal parent	???	???	Micah has no idea who his biological mother is. The only reason he knew who his father was before he came to camp was because the spirits told him.
mortal adoptive parent	Maria Di Santis	32 years old	If Marco was a saint then Maria was a saintess through and through. Everything she did, she did with someone else in mind. From the day she adopted Micah to the moment Marco died, Micah did not see her cry for herself at all. She'd cry when a little boy got hurt and would offer help or cry when she saw a cat get kicked by some drunk douchebag.
mortal adoptive parent	Vincino (Vinny) Bertelli	37 years old	Vincino is an absurdly rich man who was born and raised in Sicily. He found Maira through her singing on the side of the road to raise money for Micah's trip to the US. He offered to take her in because he liked her and sponsored Micah's trip by giving him some money and a ticket onto a transatlantic cruise ship headed to New York City. All things considered, he's a kind and considerate man who loves Maria.
adoptive brother	Marco Di Santis	14 years old, Deceased	Marco Di Santis was a saint. Ever since he learned the word 'kindness', he was absorbed and defined by it. He loved seeing the smiles bloom on people's faces when he shared some bread or helped them with something but what he truly loved more than anything else was sailing and playing the piano. He was handsome beyond reason, having pale blonde hair and clear blue eyes, though he never had a chance to grow into it fully.
dead guy	Chris	16 years old, Deceased	Like Marco, Chris is one big ball of sunshine. The only difference is he's a ghost. Micah met Chris on the cruise he stowed away on to get to the US and the ghost promptly joined him, though reluctantly because he was watching over his parents and little brother, due to finding him interesting. Like Marco, Chris is handsome though he had more time to grow into his looks. Framed by golden hair and chocolate brown eyes, Micah wouldn't have doubted it if the boy was very popular during his living days.
friend	Willow 'Will' Crest	16 years old	One of the more laid-back campers Micah had met, Willow became something of a friend to the son of Charon, though they started off more as discussion partners than anything else. And besides, being chill-buddies is pretty fun on its own. Who knows where things can go from there?
friend	Rachel 'Rocky' Williams	17 years old	Rocky was one of the first people Micah met upon arriving at camp and her enthusiasm, uncharacteristic for a child of a chthonic god, immediately made her stand out. Though he genuinely has no idea what goes through Rocky's head, Micah considers them close, and okay, maybe he has a minuscule crush on her.
friend/former cabin-mate	Ramona Herrera	16 years old	Being another camper who met Micah's criteria for friendship (i.e. Be chill and relax), Ramona is someone who Micah doesn't know too much about. Much like Kit, who Micah has seen around camp and the Hermes Cabin, she is a mystery to him. Though he does enjoy trying to spot which corner she's hiding in at any given camp gathering.
acquaintance (?)	Mathew Knight	15 years old	Matt is, as far as friendship is concerned, a work-in-progress. Micah's father had recommended getting to know the son of Hades and though he'd lost himself in school shortly after, Micah had made introductions.

appearance

faceclaim	height	weight	hair	eyes	skin
FC, Art by Charlie Bowater	5’11”	Doesn't care	Black	Amber, fiery like gold	Lightly tanned, peppered with a few more recent thin scars from his time at camp

description: Micah is a fairly restrained person when it comes to clothes. Usually, he'd only grab a long-sleeved shirt and some jeans, feeling content. Most of his clothing is fairly average, what with them being of all sorts of muted colors and sorts of clothing. He isn't used to expressing himself whether it is though clothing or other methods.
equipment:

• Folding Knife; The cleaver-shaped folding knife was a present from his brother and Micah has taken to using it for almost everything in his day to day. When his mother fell ill after Marco's death, Micah had to scrub the docks, cut rope to secure the boats, and even got to work on some boats during outings for extra cash. The knife became like a lifeline, being used for everything he had to do.
• Bead Necklace; Micah has been at camp for a year now.
• Monster Directory; Over the years, Micah has seen one or two monsters in their undisguised forms and has taken to keeping note of them by drawing them in as great a detail as he can remember in a separate notebook from the rest of his drawings while also making notes of tactics that worked against them.
• Sketchbook; Ever since he started drawing, Micah has had a good amount of sketchbooks, most of which he donated to orphanages in Sicily for the little kids to enjoy the drawings if they weren't destroyed by seawater or other kids. After he donated his last one with a few pages blank at the end, he got himself a new book, this one being leather-bound and practically a blank slate. He's glad to have an abundance of space to draw as his story unfolds.
• Art Supplies; A good amount of colored and uncolored pencils, all in different states of use, either dull or sharp, long or short, and an eraser in a dark brown leather box.
• Satchel; The over-the-shoulder bag Micah carries around with all of his items. It's nothing special, just an olive green bag with a good amount of compartments and space.
• Throwing Knife Bandolier; Micah's choice of weapon, the bandolier he carries is easy to hide under civilian clothes, fast to access, and easy to use. The knives are of standard make and easily replaceable with others from the armory, though Micah tends to clean and sharpen them himself after each use.

abilities:
* – modmailed / custom

godrent domain powers: 

a) Dead Communication; Ever since his close brush with death, Micah's powers surged. His father's connection to spirits and those who have died became his and as such he can now see and communicate with the spirits of the dead. They have been his only source of information on his father. He likes to build a network of spirits whenever he goes somewhere new so he can gather information as fast as possible.
b) Shadow Camouflage; From a fairly young age, Micah wasn't much of a social butterfly. Most of the time, he felt most comfortable in a shadowy nook where the lines of his body would be broken by shadows, using the ability unconsciously. After his near-death experience, Micah became more aware of his ability to hide in shadows and learned to use it more effectively than before.
c) Shadow Travel\;* After an unknowably long amount of time spent in Hades, Micah's father, Charon, was aligned with the underworld to which he led the souls of the dead. Similarly, Micah has inherited the ability to travel through shadows in short or long-range teleports.

godrent minor powers: 

a) River Step\;* The connection with the River Styx flows through Micah's veins as much as it does through his father's. The ability this connection granted him was the ability to walk on water, as long as there is no significant shift to the water, such as large waves.
b) Death Buff\;* Being a servant of the God of the Dead, it only makes sense that Charon would draw his own power from his master. As such, Micah has inherited a trait where he becomes stronger when around children of other deities of death, such as Hades, Melinoe, Zagreus, the Oneiroi, etc.
c) Aura of the Harbinger\;* Being a multifaceted deity, Charon passed down his multifacetedness in the form of an aura ability. Micah has the ability to project an aura with two opposite effects that work on separate targets. A calming effect affects any spirits within the aura while an imposing effect like that of Children of Hades affects living beings within the aura's range.

godrent major powers: 

a) Major Watercraft Manipulation\;* Being known as the Ferryman of the Dead, it only makes sense for Charon, and Micah by extension, to have dominion over watercraft. Micah's control over watercraft was one of the first powers he discovered and the power that is most intertwined with him in his entirety. He has inherited the ability to gain absolute control over any and all watercraft down to the rigging and ropes.

skillset 

Over the years, Micah has picked up a good variety of skills, including fishing and rope work. Still, there have been a great many learning experiences for the boy on the streets of Sicily. Free running came as a given to any child of below-average means in Sicily but Micah was significantly worse than most thanks to a leg injury he got at the age of thirteen. Drawing was the only real luxury he had during his time when he wasn't working. A young lady from a carnival that was passing through taught him how to use throwing knives after he helped her find her way around the city. He learned ballet by watching, sitting for hours outside a studio every day for weeks until he'd gotten good enough to practice independently, which led to his interest in gymnastics. One of the older neighborhood boys took to teaching Micah, his brother, and the other kids how to read and write in English. Micah's adoptive mother insisted on teaching him how to speak English from a young age. Now, he can speak English with a barely noticeable Sicilian accent.
personality
Micah is about as quiet as you'd expect from a Chthonic kid. That isn't to say that he is particularly serious or brooding, in fact, even when he's upset, he rarely does either. He mainly remains silent because he isn't particularly talented at talking. His reactions to most things tend to be a bit muted unless something is especially funny or angering. Any of the kids that liked him or trusted him in Sicily did so because they understood that when it was needed, Micah would talk as much as was needed and would do what needed to be done to keep everyone safe.
Fatal Flaw; Vengefulness
backstory
Micah's past year at camp had been simultaneously the most relaxing and confusing year of his life. There had been a unfamiliarity that Micah had with anything to do with relaxation or really anything but working that had slowly melted away. He'd made friends and discovered passions that might have otherwise gone ignored for the rest of his life (Art was definitely one of those).
So, when school started to take over his time, Micah barely gave it any thought, settling back into his old work mentality, though now focused on mental instead of physical labor. Before he knew it, it was summer, school was out, and he was back at the start, not knowing how to get himself to relax.
now
Micah stared at the ground around the Range target blankly, the celestial bronze knives scattered around it refracting light. He was jolted out of his mental haze when a camper a few rows down yelled at him for standing in front of the target for so long. Quickly finishing up gathering his throwing knives, Micah slotted them into his bandolier and left the Range.
For a while, he just walked, until he reached the pier. Boats had been a constant of Micah's life before coming to camp and when he was really out of it or off his rocker, the son of Charon liked to settle at the camp pier and imagine what sort of sea vessel he'd design for himself. Aesthetics might not have mattered to everyone but to Micah, they did. The ship would have to look as good as it sailed.
Now, he fell onto his back in the sand a few meters from the pier and stared up at the sky. Barely any clouds. Gods that was boring.
(Credit to u/FireyRage for the amazing intro format.)

I want to preface this by noting that this is a ramble. I have a lot of thoughts, this is probably too many unnecessary details but at this point that’s one of the things Im struggling with as a (SAH) parent of a little with T1D.
So my daughter was diagnosed June of last year when she was still 3. It’s been a crazy journey, and while I’m grateful we haven’t had to deal with any life threatening incidences since her first DKA and diagnosis I can’t help but worry about her sugar all day, every day.
She’s on MDI, we’re doing a pump class next month (a requirement before her endo will approve), just recently changed her long acting and was seeing improvement in her glucose—but now it feels like we’re back to the beginning somehow?
She’s had so many days where she’s above 200. When I looked at her libre 3 ‘time in ranges,’ she was for the longest only ‘in range’ 38% of the time, any other time was way above. However, a few weeks ago (around the beginning of the month) I played around with her breakfast ratio and it seemed as if I found the ratio that REALLY worked for her—and then two days later she had her endo appointment and they changed her long acting because her sugar was going over 350 3-4 hours after eating lunch. For the first two weeks of this month she went from being in range 38% of the time to 67% of the time! It was so… great? But for the last week, she’s been pushing back into the 300s.
Now, one of the things that makes me feel like a helicopter parent: since she’s only 4 (5 in July ), I prefer to check her sugar myself and do all of her injections myself—one of the reasons being that I’ve noticed during this year that when my husband does her injections her glucose levels are even worse (there was one incident —early weeks of diagnosis— where he didn’t even inject her, the medicine literally sat on her skin and she was about to eat). Recently my little one tried to (very quickly) help me set up her needle and she bent the needle that goes into the pen (unbeknownst to me), and I tried to prime it like 3 times and I thought the pen broke. When i went to disassemble it to toss it was when I noticed the bent needle. Tried again with new one, went to prime and sooo much insulin came out, like there was so much pressure. It was an extremely stressful morning, and I no longer wanted her to help me get her medicine ready.
She knows how to check her sugar, but when it comes to cleaning her finger really well, she does not do a good job and I go behind her and recheck when the number from her test comes back 40+ different from her CGM.
Since she has a libre 3, her cgm is connected to my phone. We have a reader, have not yet used it because my phone stays in her room over night to be within range of her while I have it also connected to my iPad. When she goes low, she doesn’t wake up with the device blaring right next to her—but the notifications coming to my iPad inform me to check her.
I’m at a point where I’m…lost. She doesn’t seem to fully grasp certain parts of this journey? Should I make her check herself throughout the day until she gets the hang of that first? When should I let her give herself medicine (this part scares the ever loving life out of me because I’m terrified she’ll over do it and not want to drink/eat something to fix it because she’s full or something)?
And since she’s turning 5, she ought to be going to school in autumn—but I’m so unbelievably terrified because we live in a small town and it feels like so many people are ignorant to type 1 and assume it’s type 2. I plan to homeschool, but with her attention span I know it’s going to be difficult. But teachers mindlessly hand out candy, and while not everyone has diabetes, I know it’s going to be another crap experience for her because she was dealt a shitty hand. I even struggle with the judgment when we’re at the store trying to check out and she throws a fit for one of those gourmet lollipops that don’t have the carbs listed on it and there’s no guarantee she’s even going to finish it. When I say no, people just look at me like “what a bad mom, let that baby have a lollipop.”
I don’t restrict her diet. If she wants a piece of chocolate or cookie, or whatever: she can have it— if it’s more than 5carbs, I make her understand she has to have medicine for it. She’s a kid. She loves carbs, all the bread, noodles, desserts—I’m trying to do everything right for her.
She’s a kid, she should have all those experiences and privileges allotted to kids—but how am I to navigated this without dictating every single moment of her life?
If you got this far, I’m sorry for the rambling and thank you.

I could use advice about my relationship. Recently I (25F) started seeing a girl (27f). We met through a mutual ex (got cheated on by the same dude) and essentially have been best friends and unseparable since meeting almost a year ago.
I do really love her, I think she is a wonderful person, beautiful inside and out, one of the sweetest people I've ever met. I just don't think I'm falling IN love with her. I was crushing super hard in the beginning of our friendship but I didn't really want to pursue because the situation we came from was fresh, but about a month ago she asked me to start going on dates and stuff and I was SO excited she had feelings for me too.
My thing now is that it feels rushed, even though I was willing to rush too. She is very much a U-Haul lesbian and talking LOTS of BIG plans for our future (she also has a 5 year old son) that I don't necessarily see for myself, let alone so fast. I told her in the beginning I was also nervous about being a large part of her child's life because I've never wanted kids myself, and now that I am spending considerable amounts of time with them I am so tired all of the time. I feel like I'm forcing myself to participate when my mental battery is low, and I know neither me or her want love to feel like a chore. She also talks a lot about how she hopes our mutual ex knows about us, how she wants to vandalize his property (we both already totalled dudes car after we found out) , etc and it makes me feel like a revenge plot a little.
These are just small things I feel already poking at me in the beginning of our relationship. I don't want to repeat my own toxic patterns of letting my feelings build up until I explode. I know I need to talk to her, but I feel I'm going to upset her so much and I don't know how to phrase what I'm even feeling. In my head I'm thinking "if she's too much, go find less" and like I'm an asshole for not seemingly reciprocating the same feelings she has. I want to stay her friend and in her life, I just don't think i can meet her needs as a partner.
Also please don't hate me for how I'm speaking about my feelings, I have extremely bad untreated anxiety and depression due to losing health insurance so my brain chemicals are extra spicy and mean to me, especially about a wonderful girl actually wanting to love me and im trying to let her. I don't know if I'm picking apart something good to self sabotage, or if I'm invalidating my own feelings to not hurt someone else's.

I recently noticed that I never really formalized how to express fully-fledged comparisons in Ntali. I only ever took it half way. I could say something relatively simple such as "This stone is better", but for whatever reason I never determined how to incorporate the second element of the comparison into the utterance. I could not say "This stone is better than that one". And let's be honest - what good is it to be able to say that something is better if you cannot specify what it is better than?
In order to remedy this oversight, I headed over to WALS and had a quick look at how natural languages typically deal with comparative constructions. A comparison typically consists of two noun phrases. The first one is the comparee NP and the second one is the standard NP the comparee is compared to. The authors of the relevant WALS chapter identify four major strategies:

1. using a transitive verb that means "to exceed"
2. using a locational adposition to mark the target of the comparison
3. using two separate clauses with antonymous predicates
4. using a comparative particle

What is interesting about these different types is how they interact with case. The first two types usually come with a fixed case for the standard NP, whereas in the last two types the standard NP takes on the case of the comparee NP.
Speakers of Indo-European languages are probably most familiar with the fourth type. The English particle "than" for example is exclusively used for comparative constructions and doesn't serve any other function. The two elements being compared typically (albeit not always) take on the same case.
Now, I want to ask you: How do your conlangs handle comparative constructions? How do syntax and morphology interact? Are there any redundancies that help the listener parse the comparison, or are comparisons somewhat ambiguous in their structure and meaning? I'd love to know!

i 20M have this friend 21M and we have been really great friends for the past 3 years and it was really fun and intelligent conversations. aside from that we have also had a lot of down and bad times in our friendship. i’ll give you all a short summary.
we found each other in a really bad time in his life, he was going thru depression and a lot of other mental health problems, i was a good friend and i loved and still love him and wish him well, when he got better in this regard our relationships shifted and i realized we don’t have much in common except that love for each other and care.
i decided to try to get to know him better but i was always met with excuses or phrases like ”i don’t want to change u so i will like u, i already like u as a friend”. however deep down even during our one and one hangout time i would always open conversations and try to relate and make him join a convo which for a introvert like me is really difficult already.
due to these reasons we found ourselves really fighting a lot , he started no caring in action but telling me he cares which confused me mentally. i decided to cut back on our interactions until he figures this stuff out. i texted him a little less and make convos more normal and i confronted him a lot about this and told me how i felt and how his inaction and basically avoidant friendship style with me btw and solely me is making me feeling alone and like i am fighting for a lost cause.
he promised to put more of an effort and i believed him, he like any other person in life has periods where he doesn’t wanna talk, usually i try to talk to him about it or thru it but in one conversation he told me that he just doesn’t want that, so i respected his wishes.
around 3 months ago, i saw he was entering that level and i remembered what he said so i decided to give him space, i decided he will talk to me once he is ready, until now he didn’t even text or ask about me, completely ignoring me and not communicating, i know from our mutual friends he is texting hanging out and enjoying life and i am still stuck here.
i really did love him like family and it feels like i lost my brother and dear confidant. i grappled a lot with these emotions and i can’t just drop him the way he dropped me, i want closure and i don’t know if i should confront him or just ignore him or have a conversation but i feel it would be really bad looking in my part to communicate with someone who wants nothing to do with me.or atleast showing me that.
i really need help, i don’t like how all my love turned into anger and hatred and i don’t like hating people i don’t like having to deal with this and i can’t have this stress anymore.
i just need closure and i don’t know what to do.

My sister and her family lost their family home in a house fire three weeks ago. It happened in the middle of the night and initially stayed with our parents on night one. But our parents have a 1 bedroom house and space was not optimal for that. So they asked if they could stay with my wife and I and our kids. We said no. We said no for mostly one reason but kinda two.
For about 2.5/3 years now my sister has been so tough on my wife when it comes to what way she/we feed our kids. She focuses on my wife far more than me. But it does come back on me too. We don't keep sugar or junk food from our kids. We don't deprive them of that. We simply keep things balanced. We make veggie pancakes, we make healthier pizzas, we allow snacks like chocolate, ice cream or cake, we offer our kids sauces and not all of them are homemade but some are. My sister is so judgmental about it. She didn't let any of her kids have any kind of junk snack until they reached school and they can only eat something like chocolate at birthday parties and they limit the number of those they can attend in close proximity so they don't get two days of junk food in a week or more than three days of junk food a month. My sister or her husband will also stay at parties, even ones the 10 year old is invited to, to make sure they go for the salad over the pizza if they have the chips and candies.
My sister acts like our kids eating a chocolate treat or a few chips is the end of the world. She was especially horrified to find out we gave our kids fries with tacos one night and that another night we gave chicken bites with potato cakes and not plain chicken once the potato cakes were involved. Veggies were included both times but the idea of two less "clean" foods horrifies her. My SIL (wife's sister) is a pediatric dietician and she loves how we feed our kids. She told my sister that once. And my sister was horrified by my SILs profession.
This has all become such a problem that it has become my sister disrespecting my wife. So we see her far less. I don't like that. We used to be close. But I won't allow her to shit all over my wife over a difference in how we see things. Oh, and she also doesn't like that our kids get bread with soup.
So when my sister asked if they could stay with us I said no. She told me they really wanted to stay with family instead of at some hotel or strange rental and I told her they would all be happier there when she would be so bothered by the food my wife and I feed our kids. But I also wasn't going to let her stay and disrespect my wife in our home.
My sister has been furious with me since then. She told me I took things way too far. I told her she's been going way too far for almost 3 years now.
AITA?

I don’t know what to do. I have tried absolutely everything.
So I’m a woman in my 30s who has a degree, a good enough job and all I do is work, come home, eat alone and loneliness is eating me up.
I have felt this way since I was 23 years old.
I don’t have a community of friends. I have around 3 fairly close people who were from different parts of my life (one an old job, one from high school, one from college) who I see now and then but there’s no intense, talk constantly, I can tell them anything kind of friendship, they are just people I can grab lunch with now and then months apart.
My dating life has been horrendous. I can’t even explain how bad. It makes me feel like I’m this disgusting rat. All 3 friends and family members plus random people I’ve known throughout my jobs and things have all commented on how strange it is that I don’t have a partner and how badly things go for me.
The people I have dated in my past have all treated me very similarly. As in, I’ve never had an amicable breakup that ended nicely. They’ve all left me feeling awful. Everyone has always been extremely blunt in telling me I’m basically not good enough. Some phrases I’ve heard were: “you make me feel like I want to get myself back” “I didn’t ever see a future with you and didn’t know why I didn’t tell you this before” “you’re boring” “I understand why your friends and family don’t bother with you” “I just don’t care about you” “
I don’t drink alcohol and all these people told me at the start it wasn’t a problem for them. But sooner or later they would comment on how nice it would be if I joined them for a wine out on the porch after work or be able to go to a cocktail bar. And they would pressure me into doing it despite my strong stance on just not enjoying it. It almost seemed like everyone I dated was a disguised alcoholic even though they weren’t because that was the topic of a lot of our arguments … even though I know they weren’t in their “normal life” but just with me alcohol seemed so important that I didn’t do it.
I always came away feeling awful. I have an array of hobbies and find myself interesting - care for animals, reading, hiking, nature, skiing, cycling, I draw, and also write stories - nobody was ever interested in reading any or caring.
Whenever I go out with friends their partners… care. It’s something I noticed a lot. They’d text or call and ask for updates. Even when I was in relationships this didn’t happen. I’ve never, EVER had a partner or boyfriend who cared about me. This is not normal and I’ve never felt loved.
Both of my parents aren’t here either and I have a weird relationship with my brother. He’s married with kids and we aren’t close. I’ve tried and again I feel “not enough”. He tells me he doesn’t WANT to go on vacations with me because I don’t drink and he likes to go to bars and sip wine at nice places and I’d just not be compatible with him on holiday. He therefore doesn’t ever ask to hang out with me in our own country.
I was only ever close with my mother and miss her so much it hurts. I don’t feel connected with anyone and feel my personality must be so awful that nobody wants me around.
I’ve travelled a lot and even lived in other countries and feel deflated. If I do something pretty cool or a nice achievement I can’t tell anyone. Sure, a couple of my friends might send a nice text but I have nobody to hug, kiss or hype me up. I come home to my empty apartment and just have my own thoughts.
Every date I go on recently is a reflection of my past. People just seem to be super interested in the start, as in.. I have no issues getting matches and getting a good conversation flowing, sometimes even up to three moths of dating but then it ends. The same patterns occur where they suddenly don’t want a serious thing and are gone.
I’m broken making these constant deep connections with strangers only to then feel like I never knew them at all.
Friends have told me in the past I am too nice and fall too hard and people can see this but I don’t get it.
I pour my heart and soul into connections I do make, am sweet and caring and it’s never enough for people. I’ve never ever felt anything was ever reciprocated.
Everyone around me has a marriage - a stable, grown adult marriage with house problems and real life stuff, kids or engagements, stuff like that. I want that so much. I want a person to share my life with. I am so tired of being alone and being on this age on apps and going through the same things feeling so unloved and unwanted.
I look around - and this is going to sound judgmental and I don’t mean to be. But I look around at others I knew from school and friends and things and even people who are either not very attractive or even people with horrific personalities (mean, screechy, drama central kind of people) have good loyal husbands and a fairly decent enough life.
I feel like I’ve witnessed multiple situations where people cheat, so awful things and still someone is FIGHTING for someone to stay, fighting for love, somebody is a staple in their life worth it.
For me that’s just exactly what I feel I don’t have. Nobody has ever fought for me. Never cared enough to even go into a serious, let’s live together, maybe get married situations. Nobody has ever made effort the way I do. I’m good looking enough, not the most sexy person in the room but get told I’m natural beauty, cute and stuff like that. I try and take care of myself. I have that “sweet shy gentle” type personality and everyone I meet tells me I have such a good heart and soul. I really do everything for people. So I don’t understand.
I’m terrified of this continuing and I’m exhausted. I don’t feel like I belong anywhere. I’m absolutely broken with feeling like my whole life has been loss around me, in terms of death of my loved ones and also loss of people I’ve cared for and wanted something with, loss of friendships that were once more solid and now are casual, just loss of everything.
Like I said I’ve tried travelling, lived in other countries, joined so many hobby groups and clubs, the amount of nights I’ve sat at a random meet up of a social night with a soft drink and chatted and gave it my all for nothing to come of it is hard to remember, I’ve even reached out on social media to old friends from random hobbies and school and nothing comes of anything.
I don’t know what else to do. I enjoy my own company but I’m now at a point where it’s depressing me so much. I don’t want this to be my life. I want to go to theme parks with someone and feel alive. I want to book holidays with someone and get excited. I want to pack together and prepare their bags. I want to ask someone about their day. I want to share plans. I don’t want to just come home anymore and stare at a wall. Constantly see people thriving on social media. Have no family at important holidays. Nobody to celebrate things, I feel so empty and not even a part of society when I see the beach packed with people, gifts for sale in stores, etc. it’s not for me because I have no one.
I don’t know what else to do. If something cool happens in my day it didn’t really happen because I am literally by myself and have nobody who cares. I feel like other single people still have close friends or a mother or father who is interested, even a community of some sort. But I am literally alone.
Even when I do stuff with friends it’s only for an hour or two and I’ll get a taste of what a nice happy life is like, maybe an hour walking along a nice beach or a nice dinner somewhere with people around us then I’m back to being alone when they go back home to their husbands and have a cute night.
I cry everyday and don’t understand this. I’m so envious of people who have tons of people in their life. I never will have that even if I find a partner. But it just kills that even that part doesn’t exist. I can’t even explain how empty I feel. My birthday went by with one text message from one of my close friends and the other two sent one days later saying they forgot and had been busy. It’s like I don’t exist. And I’m terrified and don’t know what to do.

Video Link: https://www.youtube.com/live/cjn8w8j06ik?feature=shared

• They're having a jam session when we join
• 3:45 Neo and Luke are improvising a song about all the guys. I'll just translate the lyrics that Luke sings in Thai because he also sings in English a bit too. When you hear Neo talking/singing, he's trying to translate what Luke is singing, but sometimes he's a little off.
  • Mix: "can be good but also bad. Likes to eat a lot with Pond"
  • Phuwin: (sings in English)
  • Pond: (sings in English) "Everyone knows that he always wants to eat rice with Thai omelette (extra salty)"
  • Neo: "He's probably the most annoying in the house, but he's also cute. He loves annoying everyone a lot, especially Earth. That's the kind of person he is. He plays guitar really well."
  • Khaotung: "I like how he likes similar things as me. I like how he plays darts with me. I like how he also wins games like me."
  • (pause while they laugh)
  • 6:30 Earth: "Everyone who's watching this livestream knows that he likes to wear this red sweatshirt." (pause because Neo needs to think of what to play) "Red shirt, red shirt, has nice stuff in his hair" (then sings in English) (pause because of Neo's mistranslation) "Actually, he should be the best in the house, but right now he has the lowest score. But that's alright, because there's lots of time for him to win more games."
  • Gun: "Yellow shirt, like the Sang Sang that he's the presenter of. He's really tiny, but his smile is huge. He's also very good-looking and the nicest in the house" (then Luke says something a bit funny but rude, which makes Gun get up and try to push a pillow in Luke's face)
• 9:50 Mix and Gun go to the kitchen. The others realise that they can watch the footage of the kitchen from the TV.
• 10:45 Neo and Khaotung consider improvising a song for Luke since he didn't get to sing about himself, but Luke declines.
• 12:15 PD asks everyone to assemble in the kitchen. She makes a notification sound before speaking so that the guys don't get startled, which they appreciate
• 13:20 Medal competition sponsored by Sea Me Now. Gun reads the rules. They will divide themselves into two teams. Each team will send two members to prepare "yum" (a type of Thai salad served at room temperature, often involving some kind of noodles like glass noodles) within 15 minutes, using the seafood from Sea Me Now. Meanwhile, the remaining 4 guys will wait in another room until the dishes are ready, and they will come and blindly taste the dishes and vote on which dish is better. Winning team gets one medal each.
  • 16:00 PD asks the teams which member each thinks is the best cook in the team. Phuwin is the best of the left team, and the right-hand team are undecided between Gun and Khaotung. At 17:30 PD asks which member from each group is the worst at cooking. The guys start to figure out that PD is going to pair the best cook with the worst cook, so the right-hand team try to blag that Khaotung and Gun don't know how to cook that well after all. At 18:30, Neo is the only one who hasn't caught on to PD's plan, so he raises his hand to indicate that he's the worst cook on that team because he thinks it means he won't have to cook. Final cooking teams are Phuwin/Neo and Gun/Pond. The rest go to wait in the play zone.
  • 21:00 Phuwin has only just realised that they are required to make "yum," which he doesn't know how to make. He mistakenly thought they could make whatever they wanted. Gun is also not confident.
  • 23:00 Cooking timer begins. Both teams decide to use the salmon. Phuwin/Neo decide they're going to leave their salmon raw. Pond asks Gun if they're going to leave theirs raw too, and Phuwin accuses him of copying them. Gun decides they're going to lightly blanch their salmon.
  • 28:00 Neo goes to look for a food processor. Gun asks if he can process enough chilis for both teams, and Neo initially jokingly declines, but then agrees.
  • 30:15 Phuwin asks Neo to make the glass noodles. Neo isn't sure how to prepare them, and Phuwin guesses that they're supposed to just put them briefly in boiling water (which is correct)
  • 31:30 We cut to the play zone where the tasting teams do a light brand plug for Sea Me Now. They teach Luke a new word that basically means "great." (I guess it's kind of like "sick" in English how the actual definition of the word is different, but it's slang when used in context). Mix is confident that Gun/Pond are going to make the better dish.
  • 37:00 PD announces one minute remaining, and that "the customers are complaining." Gun/Pond finish with some time to spare and present their dish to the camera, but Phuwin/Neo finish a little late (but it's fine; there will be no penalty. PD just keeps rushing them to finish)
  • 40:30 PD asks the teams to write the names of their respective dishes on the mini boards provided. Pond originally writes a name that indirectly reveals that he and Gun made that dish, and PD says that the names can't have any hints of who made which dish.
  • 43:30 PD asks the teams to pose with their respective dishes, and invites the audience to screenshot and caption them. Gun/Pond's dish translates to, "Definitely delicious; try it and see," and Phuwin/Neo's dish (roughly) translates to, "Just making a 'yum,' but don't know how to make it" (It's a rhyme/pun in Thai)
  • 44:30 Cooking teams leave the kitchen and go sit in the living room so they can watch the tasting on the TV. PD warns them not to cheat while the teams are changing rooms.
  • 47:15, the tasting team goes to the kitchen. They each get 3 ping pong balls with which they can vote. Phuwin/Neo's dish is the white side, and Gun/Pond's is the blue side. The votes can be cast by dropping the balls into the coloured containers corresponding to the dishes.
  • 48:00 It is immediately obvious to all of them immediately which team made which dish. Transcription starting from 48:20:
    • Earth: "Why don't we start by judging the presentation before we taste?"
    • Mix: "Looking at these two dishes, this one (blue) is definitely wins."
    • Earth (trying to help his team): "I think I'm going to go with this one (white). Listen, none of us know which dish was made by which team..."
    • Luke: "But we have theories."
    • Mix: "I just want to know in what way this (white) dish could possibly be more beautiful than that (blue) dish."
    • (pause while they think of some nonsense) Luke: "The vegetables. They just look so nice. And there are so many of them."
    • Earth: "I'm giving it to this team (white)."
    • Luke: "Me too."
    • (audio cuts out for a few seconds)
    • Mix is saying "The truth?!" to implore Earth and Luke to admit the truth, but they stick to their decisions
    • Luke: "It's my personal opinion. I'm not changing."
    • 49:55 Mix comes up to the camera and mouths, "There are cheaters here."
    • Earth and Luke say, "Who knows? This plate could have been made by anyone."
    • 50:15 Mix: "Okay, let's move on to the flavour." They taste Phuwin/Neo's first.
    • Earth: "I hear laughing outside. Who's laughing?"
    • 51:00 Luke: "Very good."
    • Earth looks at Luke. Luke: "It's actually good. It suits my palate."
    • Mix: "I mean, it's alright. It's not bad. The salmon and imitation crab are good. They taste really fresh. But the noodles are awkwardly super cold. Like, is this bamee yen (a cold noodle dish)? Also, there's just something not right. It's sour, and it's like trying to be spicy but not spicy, trying to be salty but not salty. It's not balanced. What do you think, Earth?"
    • Earth: "I'll give it to you honestly."
    • Mix: (puts his hand on Earth's shoulder and looks into his eyes) "Yes, give it to us honestly."
    • Earth: "Okay, honestly, I like the raw ingredients. I like that the imitation crab meat is in large chunks. But..."
    • Mix: "Look, he's talking about the raw ingredients. He's not even talking about the flavour of the dish."
    • Earth: "The flavour is like how Mix described. And honestly, it's sour. It's so sour. Uncomfortably sour. Like, too sour. Can I have some water?"
    • 52:40 Luke: "I really like how there are lots of vegetables here. That means that dish is really healthy for you. If you ask me if I can eat the other dish, I can eat it, but it won't be as healthy as this dish."
    • Earth: "Oh, okay, so he's talking about the health value of the dish."
    • Mix: "But we're talking about the flavour of the dish, here, no?"
    • Luke: "I'm a person who doesn't like eating things too spicy. (uses the vocab word he learned earlier) So I like that this one is a good balance. It's not too spicy for me.
    • 53:35 Earth looks at Luke and says, "Is it not too sour? I think you've already helped our team a lot here."
    • Luke: "No, I don't think so. I honestly think it's good. But we haven't tried the other dish."
    • Earth: "That's true. Different people have different flavour preferences. Some like super sour, for example. And if those people also don't like spicy food, this dish is for them."
    • 54:05 They ask for Khaotung's review. He pauses and then quietly says, "Um... Sour. It's sour."
    • Mix: "How about between the words 'delicious' and 'not delicious'?"
    • Khaotung: "Well, I can definitely eat it. But it's super sour. It's not well-rounded."
    • 54:35 They move on to taste Gun/Pond's dish. Mix comes to the camera and enthusiastically whispers, "It's SO good!"
    • 55:15 Earth: "I like the creativity of this team. The salmon was raw, but this team lightly blanched the fish so that the inside is still raw, which adds a lot of layers to the flavours and textures of the dish. I like it."
    • Mix: "Can I speak extendedly? It's SO good. It's amazing. It's well-rounded, yummy, the textures are amazing, and it's easy to see that the person who made it really knows how to cook. I'm pretty sure I know who made it." Khaotung agrees.
    • 56:40 Luke decides to still vote for the white dish because the second dish is a bit too spicy for him. Earth sees that there's no way that the white dish can win anymore, so he puts his last ball into the white container anyway.
  • 58:00 More brand plugging for Sea Me Now
  • 59:45 PD calls the cooking teams back to the kitchen to announce the results.
  • 1:00:35 Luke says to Phuwin/Neo: "I tried, guys." Neo says, "I love this guy. He said the truth straight from his heart." Earth says that he tried to say the truth too. Neo complains that he was working with so many ingredients he had no idea how to use. I was just putting everything in randomly. Mix asks who did the seasoning/flavouring, and Neo said, "Me, but we didn't have time to taste it because we ran out of time."
  • 1:02:00 The cooking teams try each other's dishes (and Phuwin/Neo try their own dish for the first time too). Neo tries Gun/Pond's dish. Earth immediately feeds him a huge bite of his own dish. Neo pauses and says, "It seems like it's missing something." Mix and Earth say, "Not something. Many things. Like deliciousness." Earth feeds some to Phuwin, and he also doesn't like it.
    • 1:02:45 Neo looks at Earth and says, "You did the right thing." (in reference to criticising this dish and voting for the other one). Earth says, "So you understand me now?!"
    • Neo makes fun of how Gun was previously dramatic about not knowing how to make "yum." Gun says that he truly wasn't sure, and Neo feeds Gun some of Phuwin/Neo's dish saying, "See? This is what it means to truly not know what you're doing." Gun's eyes water while eating it, and he says, "It's so sour," and goes to hug Neo and Phuwin.
  • 1:04:00 More brand plugging for Sea Me Now
  • 1:05:00 Neo says that he's glad that there's at least someone (Luke) who enjoys eating his food. He then realises that Luke has only been eating the seafood and the vegetables, none of which have been flavoured/seasoned. Luke then takes a bite of the noodles to appease him.
• 1:06:00 Seafood lunch. Menu includes (professionally-made) "yum" with salmon and imitation crab topped with salmon roe; oysters with a seafood sauce; scallops fried with garlic, salt, and pepper; and grilled salmon steaks
  • 1:17:45 Khaotung and Mix go to the kitchen to make some more food with the fresh seafood they have
  • 1:19:15 Luke asks Earth why he's sitting so far away from him, and Neo turns it into a pun about Earth wanting scissors ("sitting far away" sounds a bit similar to "looking for scissors")
  • 1:21:10 This is Pond's first time trying mashed potatoes. Luke and Phuwin explain what they are to him and explain that in some Western countries, they eat less rice than they do in Asia, so sometimes they eat potatoes as the starch (a lot of the dishes for this meal were prepared in a Western way)
  • 1:22:30 Neo teaches them Isan slang that a more polite phrase to basically say, "BS-ing." They also mention the Central equivalent of the phrase. They ask Luke what an equivalent in English would be, but Luke can only think of "BS-ing," so he says that he can't say it out loud. He eventually goes with "spinning stuff." Neo says that he feels like English doesn't have as many rude/swearing words as Thai does, and Earth makes a joke that he wouldn't be surprised if Neo's name was rude in English.
  • 1:23:55 They like how Luke seems especially giggly today, so they try to keep him laughing. Neo says a Thai phrase/idiom that basically means that he's not even being funny to his full capacity right now, then Earth and Phuwin give some sarcastic remarks that are like playful insults to Neo, which Luke continues laughing at.
  • 1:26:00 Phuwin and Gun join Mix and Khaotung in the kitchen to cook some more seafood. They're prepping some salmon, scallops, and oysters. Gun wants to make lightly floured and pan-fried tofu.
  • 1:27:30 The guys at the table are joking to Luke that it's Thai culture to be polite to people, but then the closer you get to them, the more you insult them. You start the insults behind their back, but then you can eventually insult them to their face (it's not technically false, especially for some friend groups, but the way they were explaining it is a bit too much, hahaha). Then they demonstrate that, actually, the best thing to do is to be polite to someone's face, and then behind their back, you compliment them again.
  • 1:29:00 They exchange the English and Thai versions of the phrase "fishing for compliments"
  • 1:32:20 Luke is trying to tell the story of why he came to Thailand, but he's still in his giggly mood. He wanted to be an actor in the US, but he was scouted from IG to come and be a model in Thailand, so he arranged to come for 3 months, but he liked it, so he stayed.
  • 1:34:10 They mention that they're glad they have Neo in the house because otherwise it would be so much quieter and less entertaining.
  • 1:40:15 Gun brings the tofu for the guys at the table to try. They struggle a bit because it's still very hot, but they approve.
  • 1:43:45 The guys at the table talk about ventriloquists. Luke explains how in the US, ventriloquism can either be creepy or funny depending on the act, but in Thailand it tends to mostly be creepy. They start discussing some related film/series plots.
  • 1:59:30 Pond, Neo, and Luke dance a bit for the cameras
• 2:01:00 Relaxing time. Mix presents the dish he made to the camera: spaghetti pad kee mao (drunken noodles) with scallops, crab, and salmon roe. He brings it to the living room for everyone else to try.
  • 2:08:40 Some language lessons. Phuwin and Luke ask Neo some questions for him to answer in English. They also ask Luke some questions in Thai. They try to ask Neo and Luke to speak English and Thai (respectively) for two minutes each, language exam-style.
• 2:13:50 PD asks the losing team from the last game to go wash dishes. They say that the sink area is small, so two people will wash at a time.
  • 2:36:05 Earth drops and breaks a dish. Earth tells a story about how when he was very young, he hated washing dishes, so sometimes he would secretly break some dirty dishes behind his house so he wouldn't have to clean as many. Eventually his mother started wondering where all the dishes were disappearing to, but she just kept buying more
• 2:41:15 PD asks for someone to wake Gun (who's napping on the sofa) and assemble in the area in front of the medal board for the next medal game. She asks Mix "the one with many medals" and Earth "the one with hardly any medals" to take the lead in reading the rules. Earth is offended, but PD says, "Earth, you have to accept the truth."
  • 2:42:40 Game sponsored by Super Coffee. They will divide into two teams. King of the Day chooses the pairs that will compete together. Each person in the pair will wear a sumo costume with a bag of Super Coffee attached to their back. Whoever is the first to successfully remove the bag of coffee from their opponent's back wins that round, and their team is awarded one point in the game. Once all the pairs have competed, the winners will compete to determine the final winner. Winning team gets one medal each. The rules say nothing about singing or having dancing breaks during each match, but the guys do so anyway.
• 3:21:20 PD asks everyone to change into swimming clothes and meet at the pool. Phuwin has to study, so he won't join for the next activity.
• 3:39:00 Neo reads the directions. They're going to play the Werewolf (ma paa) game. Between the 7 of them, they will randomly get assigned roles: 2 werewolves (who can kill people), 1 bodyguard (who can choose someone to protect from death each round), 1 seer (who can privately uncover the identity of one other player each round), 1 hunter (who, if they are killed, can choose one other person they suspect of being a werewolf to die with them), and 2 villagers. PD will be the narratoreferee. The game is basically between the werewolves and everyone else. Each round, in order, the narrator will instruct the werewolves to choose someone to kill, then the bodyguard to choose someone to protect, then the seer to privately uncover the identity of one other player. Then everyone must talk and decide on one person to kill out of suspicion of being a werewolf. If both werewolves are killed, the common people win. If there's at least one werewolf left at the end of the game, the werewolves win.
  • [PD is a very dramatic and colourful narrator, which is why everyone is reacting to most of her lines throughout the game. Werewolf in Thai is "ma paa" and villagetownsperson is "chao baan," to help you guys understand what's going on. All the other roles are called in English, although sometimes they call the bodyguard "moh" which means doctor]
  • 3:45:30 First game: Werewolves=Gun/Earth, Bodyguard=Neo, Seer=Khaotung, Hunter=Mix
    • First round: No one dies
    • Second round: Pond dies. They vote to kill Khaotung
    • 4:04:45 Third round: No one dies. Neo says that Mix is a common person because he saved this round. They vote to kill Earth
    • 4:13:30 Fourth round: Neo dies. They vote to kill Gun. Common people win.
  • 4:19:00 Second game. They're no longer allowed to say whether they saved someone or not. Werewolves=Khaotung/Mix, Bodyguard=Gun, Seer=Luke, Hunter=Pond
    • First round: Earth dies. They know someone is lying because too many people are claiming to be villagers. They think they should believe Neo because he was so honest last round. They vote to kill Khaotung.
    • 4:34:10 Second round: Pond dies and choses to kill Mix with him. Common people win.
  • 4:37:50 PD asks them to vote on the best and worst liar. They aren't sure yet, but Khaotung is voted the worst liar. Punishment is cleaning one of the bathrooms tomorrow.
• 4:41:15 Relaxing time. Neo gets thrown in the pool.
• 5:08:00 Fan talk
  • Group 1: It's supposed to be the 4 top scorers on the medal board, but Khaotung is still showering, so Earth goes in his place because he's lowest. Neo did a bit more exercise with Luke this morning. They recap the walking doll game from the morning and how random and unpredictable it was. Mix was bitter that he felt like being King today was more of a burden than Luke's experience the previous day. Luke says it's probably because Mix's Thai is better, so they felt like using him for more jobs/tasks. They recap the cooking competition; Gun/Mix say they were lucky that they were on the team that had several options of people who knew how to cook. They talked about how the judging was biased, but Earth said that at the end, he had to admit the fact that Phuwin/Neo's dish was so sour that he could feel it in his brain. Gun/Mix were glad that they didn't have to wash dishes today because there were so many dishes to wash, and they made fun of Earth breaking the dish. They all enjoyed the sumo game. They started to regret that they started the singing/dancing gag, but they committed to it for entertainment purposes. They agreed that Khaotung is indeed the dark horse because no one expected him to be that quick in the sumo game. Everyone also had fun playing Werewolf.
    • 5:18:45 Fan comments: They like how Gun seems like the eldest brother in the house, taking care of everyone. People made fun of Earth's childhood dish-breaking story. (The guys eventually start talking amongst themselves, mainly about how Earth doesn't think he has a chance to win anymore, and they say that there are many more opportunities for medals in the coming days, so anything can happen)
  • 5:26:15 Group 2: They talk about how much Pond likes rice with Thai omelette [note: pretty much everyone in Thailand loves it, but Pond feels like eating it all the time], and he likes to make Phuwin make it for him in this house. They're all impressed with how good Khaotung was at the sumo game. Phuwin/Neo explain what happened during the cooking competition: Phuwin usually never eats "yum," but last week, his family made some but he didn't have any, so he regrets not having it so he would have a better idea of how to make it. Neo said he was just randomly putting things in without knowing for sure if they were supposed to go in. They made fun of Neo's dishwashing "technique." They recapped Werewolf, and everyone was unsure whether to trust/believe the things Neo says because he talks rubbish a lot.
    • 5:32:45 Fan comments: They mention that this has turned into a pure comedy show. They like how everyone works together and the vibe isn't overly competitive.
  • 5:37:00 Late-night meal. Menu includes fried chicken wings, spaghetti carbonara, spaghetti with bacon, sticky rice with pork, sandwich, pizza, more spaghetti, and minced pork wrapped with noodles.
    • They feel like today was very full/busy, and they're all feeling tired, but they've had fun.
    • 5:47:00 Earth and Neo say that they may not have many medals, but at least they're funny. They get up and try to entertain the rest of the guys.
• 5:52:45 Everyone bids farewell to Gun because it's his last night. Gun says to the audience, "Thank you so much for watching all of us these past three days. I hope you've enjoyed seeing our dynamics in this more relaxed environment. I hope you'll continue watching the rest of the guys for the rest of the days and see what fun is in store."

(Originally meant for UnsentLetters but they wouldn’t let me post for some reason.)
Dear F,
Hey. I’ve written a few letters to you before. Under other aliases— even sent some dumb shit out into other places for venting ‘n some meant for advice ‘n junk.
I think with this one, I’m gonna try really hard to force myself to write one of these letters whenever I get the urge to message you— I know you don’t want me to, and that’s alright. It makes sense. I know you don’t care about working through or unpacking things anymore, and that you just want to move on with your life.
I fucked up. If I was better to you, everything in my life would be better— not just because you’d still be with me, but I’d be… better. I don’t think I would’ve gotten into acting as much as I have, but I would’ve kept up with my art more. I would’ve had all of our friends, creative and talented people I loved building things with. That’s a selfish point of view, though.
At the end of the day, there’s no reality where I could want you in my life for unselfish reasons. I was bad to you. You deserve better and always have, and begging to be a part of your life again would be… well, yeah. I already said it. Selfish.
I see you in every person I meet. Every time I feel even the slightest bit of fondness for someone I always unpack it to being because part of them reminds me of you. I think about how you saw art and life and— Augh. You make me want to cry— Wait, no. That’s not fair.
I’m the one who put myself in this position. You aren’t the one doing that to me. I love you. I’ve always loved you. I’ll never stop loving you. I’m sorry I ever thought that I did.
Part of me likes to imagine you’ll see this and realize I really am still worth talking to. I know there’s basically no shot you check out a place like this, though. I’m also doing a piss poor job of writing a letter that conveys any reason for you to think that, but still.
That reminds me. A while back, when everything was fully falling apart, you asked me— “Why did it take hurting me for you to become a good person?” That reverberates in my head all the time. I’m not sure I was a good person then, and I’m even less sure if I am one now. There’s definitely some truth to that’s though, even if it’s not so cut and dry. I’m not sure why I’m… better now, more mature? I get the feeling it was a bit of a coincidence in timing— hitting my mid 20’s and losing most of my immediate family probably just sent a shock to my system. I think that’s also part of why I didn’t fully grasp the gravity of how badly I was ruining our relationship.
Some choice phrases, specific moments where I could’ve guaranteed everything would work out and we’d all be happy— the pop into my brain like a knife. It always hurts.
My only comfort is imagining that even if I had done everything right— You’d still be happier with whatever your life is like now than you would have been with me. I can only hope as much. You deserve that.
—The Boy Who Was Once Your Doofling

i
i 20M have this friend 21M and we have been really great friends for the past 3 years and it was really fun and intelligent conversations. aside from that we have also had a lot of down and bad times in our friendship. i’ll give you all a short summary.
we found each other in a really bad time in his life, he was going thru depression and a lot of other mental health problems, i was a good friend and i loved and still love him and wish him well, when he got better in this regard our relationships shifted and i realized we don’t have much in common except that love for each other and care.
i decided to try to get to know him better but i was always met with excuses or phrases like ”i don’t want to change u so i will like u, i already like u as a friend”. however deep down even during our one and one hangout time i would always open conversations and try to relate and make him join a convo which for a introvert like me is really difficult already.
due to these reasons we found ourselves really fighting a lot , he started no caring in action but telling me he cares which confused me mentally. i decided to cut back on our interactions until he figures this stuff out. i texted him a little less and make convos more normal and i confronted him a lot about this and told me how i felt and how his inaction and basically avoidant friendship style with me btw and solely me is making me feeling alone and like i am fighting for a lost cause.
he promised to put more of an effort and i believed him, he like any other person in life has periods where he doesn’t wanna talk, usually i try to talk to him about it or thru it but in one conversation he told me that he just doesn’t want that, so i respected his wishes.
around 3 months ago, i saw he was entering that level and i remembered what he said so i decided to give him space, i decided he will talk to me once he is ready, until now he didn’t even text or ask about me, completely ignoring me and not communicating, i know from our mutual friends he is texting hanging out and enjoying life and i am still stuck here.
i really did love him like family and it feels like i lost my brother and dear confidant. i grappled a lot with these emotions and i can’t just drop him the way he dropped me, i want closure and i don’t know if i should confront him or just ignore him or have a conversation but i feel it would be really bad looking in my part to communicate with someone who wants nothing to do with me.or atleast showing me that.
i really need help, i don’t like how all my love turned into anger and hatred and i don’t like hating people i don’t like having to deal with this and i can’t have this stress anymore.
i just need closure and i don’t know what to do.

Hey guys! Just looking for some third party input. My older (39) year old sister has been an alcoholic and drug addict since she was a young teen. I have been attending AlAnon for many years. 9 days ago my sister was apprehended and taken to a mental health facility where she cannot leave by order of a judge. After 8 days of detox from every substance you can imagine, she’s finally out of psychosis and is remembering, acting and thinking clearly. She is a naturally very sweet and loving person. She asked for a couple of snacks if possible (chocolate, sour candy). Her nurses and physicians have cleared it as it helps with withdrawal… but the only way she can get it is if I take it to her (as she has no money at all). In doing this would it be helping, or enabling? Any support appreciated. Thank you!