Long vowel preschool worksheets
English-Romanized Snippet
2024.05.16 07:07 Automatic-Campaign-9 English-Romanized Snippet
This is my response to my own post from about 1 month ago: https://www.reddit.com/conlangs/comments/1c4cukp/romanization_sunday/
https://preview.redd.it/2c34mbbvcp0d1.png?width=792&format=png&auto=webp&s=1386d09bc097f6f1930a201c3a1dab1fb5a4cdb8
K'maddiikoffuu astəh ktɨta sah'ii esslok't'ɨh mniifeh e'ottameh ottmoh addarii ah'ləhmassii'eddəh nkott'a.
/k'ma.ɾi.kɔ.fu as.tʌ ktɯ.ta sa.xi e.slɔ.k't'ɯ mni.fɛ ɛ.ɔ.ta.mɛ ɔ.tmɔ a.ɾa.ɾi a.xlʌ.ma.si.ɛ.ɾʌ nkɔ.t'a/
To romanize something for an English audience, I looked for the sounds in the table <spelling-to-sound correspondences)>, and chose a representation which could be consistent, and not too misleading if used consistently. This is more helpful than the <sound-to-spelling correspondences>.
I chose initially to approximate /ɯ/ as /u(h)/, but since it is spelled with just as /ʌ/ is in English, I thought I'd simplify and just use a novel letter. As it is, on testing on myself and family, back unrounded vowels sound more like front vowels and front rounded vowels sound more like back vowels, i.e. roundedness trumps location, so I use <ɨ> and not some variation on . To indicate /ʌ/ I use ə, which seemed 'unintuitive' by itself, so I added to induce a 'grunt'-like sound. did not work because it produced the CUP vowel except at the end of words.
As is used in English as a 'silent letter' to indicate long pronunciations of other vowels - which I do not want, I use it here only in ways where it would be pronounced as the 'checked vowel' /ɛ/ - I double consonants after it to create closed syllables and add after it at the end of the word. The same treatment applies to , as I don't want the free-vowel pronunciation.
/i/ and are indicated by doubling and , because this is unambiguous.
To mark two vowels in a row, <'> is used. It is also used to mark ejective consonants, which the reader may or may not pronounce as such.
/a/ receives no special treatment, as, with the other rules it should always be pronounced [a].
/x/ is written as alone, after a consonant, and doubled orthographically as .
/ɾ/ is written as when alone, after a consonant, and when doubled orthographically.
No two consonants can have opposite glottalization. When an ejective consonant is doubled orthographically only the first symbol is doubled; in two-ejective onsets both consonants take <'>.
As for the previous entries, I think chrsevs and AJB2580 made a good crack at it.
I am no longer singling out previous entries in new posts.
submitted by Automatic-Campaign-9 to conlangs [link] [comments]
https://preview.redd.it/2c34mbbvcp0d1.png?width=792&format=png&auto=webp&s=1386d09bc097f6f1930a201c3a1dab1fb5a4cdb8
K'maddiikoffuu astəh ktɨta sah'ii esslok't'ɨh mniifeh e'ottameh ottmoh addarii ah'ləhmassii'eddəh nkott'a.
/k'ma.ɾi.kɔ.fu as.tʌ ktɯ.ta sa.xi e.slɔ.k't'ɯ mni.fɛ ɛ.ɔ.ta.mɛ ɔ.tmɔ a.ɾa.ɾi a.xlʌ.ma.si.ɛ.ɾʌ nkɔ.t'a/
To romanize something for an English audience, I looked for the sounds in the table <spelling-to-sound correspondences)>, and chose a representation which could be consistent, and not too misleading if used consistently. This is more helpful than the <sound-to-spelling correspondences>.
I chose initially to approximate /ɯ/ as /u(h)/, but since it is spelled with
As
/i/ and are indicated by doubling
To mark two vowels in a row, <'> is used. It is also used to mark ejective consonants, which the reader may or may not pronounce as such.
/a/ receives no special treatment, as, with the other rules it should always be pronounced [a].
/x/ is written as
/ɾ/ is written as
No two consonants can have opposite glottalization. When an ejective consonant is doubled orthographically only the first symbol is doubled; in two-ejective onsets both consonants take <'>.
As for the previous entries, I think chrsevs and AJB2580 made a good crack at it.
I am no longer singling out previous entries in new posts.
2024.05.16 06:04 anny_t_ka The Polyglot Playbook: Mastering the Multilingual Mindset from the Lingua Superheroes Themselves
 | https://preview.redd.it/jghjwyi1rj0d1.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=f4899eb6fc3ba055f8ed619358ad916ec6104473 submitted by anny_t_ka to voccent [link] [comments] To the casual observer, true polyglots might seem like linguistic superheroes — effortlessly swapping between multiple language codesets like slipping into a fresh sweater. But behind those envious displays of glottal dexterity lies a secret arsenal of powerful learning methodologies, loopholes, and seemingly bizarre mind-hacks. One of the best ways to practice language is our Voccent app, but let’s look at others. You see, these multilingual mavericks have spent years refining a unique cognitive blueprint for acquiring new tongues. One which hijacks conventional study habits by decoding the neuroscience powering language acquisition down to its granular chemical pathways. Through meticulous trial, error, and unrelenting dedication to their polyglot callings, they’ve essentially bio-hacked the operating systems governing their brains’ language faculties. The tips and techniques comprising their training regimens are highly personalized, wildly creative, and often contrary to scholastic norms — yet invariably effective when applied with zealous discipline. So if you, too, covet the power to bend linguistic boundaries with your mind, it’s time to start emulating these savant methods before charting your own fluency metamorphosis. First and foremost, every polyglot knows their sensory preferences for encoded knowledge absorption like Naval code operators. For some, that may mean prioritizing aural immersive techniques from day one — inundating their gray matter with streamed speech audio from podcasts, playlists, or birdsong apps to build a subliminal framework to anchor upcoming vocab and grammar lessons. For others, physical print repetition remains unsurpassed. They’ll create memory palaces turned linguistic museums, filling them with idiomatic sculptures, grammar frescoes, and indigenous proverbs transformed into architectural friezes to actually inhabit the mindshare of their target tongue. Still others take a full-immersion “rebirther” philosophy — surrounding themselves 24/7 with foreign audiovisual stimuli from morning alarms to lunch TV binges, baby-stepping into fluency via pure undiluted daily exposure. A process optimized through journal tracking mood/frustration cycles to home in on the mind’s individual linguistic ingress sweet spots. https://preview.redd.it/qbjseul2rj0d1.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=8f68f3ec44d47e54e9e4cf91117835f29dd8ef1c At the neuro-biological level, these savants prize habit-stacking as a secret fluency weapon. They recognize how everyday behaviors like eating, exercising, or commuting activate very specific neural resonance states and neurotransmitter production levels. By symbiotically cross-training their brains to link those recurrent patterns to language circuits, they procedurally groove new vocabulary and syntax into literal muscle memories. This informs peak study periods, typified by sleep habits optimized for dream-state linguistic consolidation and scheduled snacking to promote brain-derived neurotrophic factor production spiking long-term synaptic potentiation. In other words, these sono geniuses built language learning directly into their bodies’ most granular biological pathways of knowledge retention. And because self-awareness is paramount to any productive fitness regimen, polyglots are ruthless about monitoring language gain momentum via meticulous assessment — utilizing external coaches, eco-mapping resource efficacy across the modalities, and rigorously recording individualized metrics like peak memorization windows, conversational improvement rates, even typing speeds. This degree of empirical discipline fuels their overall learning flexibility. And with a quiver full of study tactics refined via iterative first-principles analysis of neuroplastic mechanics, polyglots are uniquely equipped to pivot and adjust for inevitable fluency roadblocks as they arise. So even when rote grammar patience runs dry or vocab hit-lists trigger psychosomatic burnout, these linguistic juggernaut always have novel frameworks to dynamically resculpt the brain — whether subvocalizing in consonant clusters while doing cardio, or reconstructing tones and vowel nasalities into interpretive groovebox labyrinths with beat-mapping loopstation apps. At the end of the day, these ambitious minds understand that while methods must remain malleable, multilingual omniscience demands the unwavering, ascetic focus of a fighter pilot. Or rather, the game-theoretical ultimate resource allocator strategically dividing their neural assets and cognitive load capacities across however many tongues comprise the current mission objective. But make no mistake — there is no singular illuminated path toward linguistic demiurge-hood. Each language marathon is unique, and each polyglot internally bio-engineered with their own proprietary mindset machinery requiring constant calibration. So while the initial polyglot leaps of faith can seem dizzying, that’s half the thrill. Discovering your personal toolkit for rewiring the language faculty while iterating through inventive new input/output protocols? That’s how you turn everyday reality into a never-ending expedition of glottal transcendence and cerebral renaissance. So go ahead — devour up every last scrap of applied neurohacking knowledge these savants are willing offer… then let your consciousness run wild remixing and cross-stitching those multilingual maps into slipstream realities of your own design. Because as any honest polyglot will attest, the real superpower lies in the never-ending journey of synaptic sculpting, not the destination. Have you already picked up a few sneaky pointers to optimize your cerebro-linguistic receptiveness? Which polyglot mind-taming methodologies most resonate with your cognitive tendencies (or perhaps veer a little too close to rootkit territory)? And if you’ve already pivoted to forging personalized strategies for becoming a franken-tongued,brain-engineered polymath, by all means lay them on us — We’re always ravenous for new neuro-kartography workflows to incorporate into the blueprint! Read in our blog The Link Between Linguistics and Recall |
2024.05.16 05:47 chasecountryman Ex wants to keep our 3 year old son in after-school program instead of me his Dad picking him up, is it me or is this completely selfish on her part? We have attorneys involved over this.
Just started the preschool also. We just recently split up in Feb and have 3 year old son. Went to mediation. She has him 4 days, I have him 3, with her getting the extra day. This is important to know because she told me the reason she doesn't want me picking him up from school is because I would be getting more time with him...it's 2 hours tops I would be with him, she gets a whole extra day. ? His school gets out at 3, she wants to pick him up at 5 when she's off work. Technically its her day but I'm almost always available due to my flexible job. Not to mention he started having behavioral issues in prior daycare partly because he was in for too long..daycare went from 8-5.
Really I just think our son doesn't know why we split up, he just needs help coping with all of that, and he would just want one of his parents to be there to pick him up, instead of hanging in school longer then needed. Thoughts or advice anyone? Thanks
submitted by chasecountryman to coparenting [link] [comments]
Really I just think our son doesn't know why we split up, he just needs help coping with all of that, and he would just want one of his parents to be there to pick him up, instead of hanging in school longer then needed. Thoughts or advice anyone? Thanks
2024.05.16 05:39 Davess_World2019 HNN: Hagwon News Network April 2024 II
This batch from Tokyo Jon's is another aggravating, "Then why did you put up with this?" venture.
Google Earth
Blogpage
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iGarten Creverse, April, CDI, are all basically the Chungdahm umbrella, I don't know why anyone hasn't figured out not to work for any of these places.
Search bar: iGarten Seocho Branch DO NOT DO IT!
Blogpage
Google Maps
You wanted to be a teacher? Well then TEACH. Students and everyone else learn a lot from failure. You can talk / complain all day long--ears closed. As soon as there are consequences for failure, leaving the classroom with a room full of naughty children, deadlines are not reached, parents are put off by poor results, management is caught with their pants down--ears open.
Now, do you have the spine inside you to reject punishment? Are you going to reject it and walk out the door, fight back, keep on with your talking points? To SAVE FACE, management will undoubtedly:
a) have a meeting in which they emote all over you, blame you for everything.
b) demand you come to work early/stay late to get said work done, without pay of course.
c) demand you go home and come back with the work completed, without sleep or pay of course.
d) threaten to withhold salary until objective is completed?
e) stink-eyes, sneers, passive-aggressive pouty behavior?
You don't need to throw chairs and getting into a big donnybrook about it (thank you Thesaurus.com). Stick to your talking points, "I'm not doing that, you didn't give us proper notice, there is no time in the day to do it, you aren't paying us overtime or actually anything at all" etc etc.. and if you really need to "Cross the Rubicon" (Thank you Wikipedia), you may have to go full Willy Wonka on their ass:
Wrong, sir! Wrong! Under section 37B of the contract signed by him, it states quite clearly that all offers shall become null and void if - and you can read it for yourself in this photostatic copy:
I, the undersigned, shall forfeit all rights, privileges, and licenses herein and herein contained, et cetera, et cetera... Fax mentis incendium gloria cultum, et cetera, et cetera... Memo bis punitor delicatum!
It's all there, black and white, clear as crystal! You stole fizzy lifting drinks! You bumped into the ceiling which now has to be washed and sterilized, so you get nothing! You lose! Good day, sir!
submitted by Davess_World2019 to HagwonBlacklistKorea [link] [comments]
British Education Korea (BEK) Apr 16. 2024
...unprofessional and incompetent staff, unqualified bilingual teachers and toxic atmosphere. Worst experience of my life. Waste of time and energy. Extremely low pay and imposed additional (unpaid) roles.--That's really the key elements that never seem to go away:
- Unprofessional.
- Unorganized.
- Incompetent.
- Catty, petty, gossipy, abusive.
Google Earth
JESSICA ENGLISH - ILSAN Apr 16. 2024
Last year they fired 6 people and claimed financial reasons. On top of this they continued to hire foreign workers from overseas despite claiming financial troubles. Because management was so poor the place is leaking students and so the ones that stay get away with anything.--The first mistake is to trust anything that comes out of their mouths. If they tell me it's raining, I head for a window, open it, stick my hand out before I believe anything from these buffoons and their constant lies, misdirection, and propaganda. Find 5 things that you already know the answers to and that anyone in management / education ought to know, ask in a meeting, see what they say. It's fun, they know nothing about anything.
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iGarten Seocho Banpo Apr 23. 2024
From the moment I signed with this school, warning signs were glaringly evident, but I was optimistic and brushed them off. However, in hindsight, those warning signals were clear indicators of what was to come. 2. Lack of leadership. 3. Lack of Communication breakdowns 4. Incoherent curriculum 7. Dishonesty and manipulation--Yup! That sounds like a Hagwon alright.
2. Lack of Leadership ...with those in charge either physically absent or lacking the awareness needed to foster accountability, communication, and organization.--This happens everywhere. The laziness is profound. Search bar: Hagwon Life:The Day They Refused to Pay Me. Floor manager playing games on computer, university students playing on their phones in the break room instead of working, and everything else wrong, broken, incomplete, wrong levels, bratty / undisciplined children, no one cares. Let the foreigners pull their hair out and deal with all the issues, the rest will sit back and do like the prisoners say, "Get over, get by." The answer is, follow them right out the door no matter what the reason is, stay with them until they come back. They leave, you leave.
Many times, Korean teachers are found either sitting in a corner of the room on their phones, taking selfies, or shopping, or they're outside the classroom engaging in gossip with the front desk or lunch staff.
3. Lack of communication (School Events) Even when management does inform us of an event, it's usually with minimal notice, often just a week or two in advance... (Science Fair) It's frustrating that management only takes action when faced with the threat of embarrassment, leaving teachers to pick up the slack with little support or guidance. (Report cards) The lack of communication extends to the crucial task of writing end-of-year report card comments. Shockingly, this important information was only relayed in the last week of school, not by management, but through hearsay from a veteran teacher.* This last-minute notification left teachers with minimal time to prepare thoughtful and personalized comments for each student.--The answer is, THEN DON'T DO IT! Why do the foreigners care more than the people who own the place? All you are teaching them when you put in double-overtime, scramble around like crazy, frantically quick-time it to get things done, don't get enough sleep or proper exercise/nutrition, do it for free at home, is that they learn to expect it from you again and again without consequences. They are as bad at education than anyone you will ever encounter on the planet. They have no idea about anything, ESPECIALLY how long it takes to plan and put together a good result. You can ask any one of them, "How long do you THINK it takes to add a worksheet or construct a lesson plan from scratch? And when do you think I will have time to finish it?" As the OP said, they don't do anything until there is a threat of embarrassment. Well then? Embarrass them and keep giving them the same talking points right from the beginning, "I don't have enough time, I don't work at home for free, everyone ignored my request for resources etc." In many cases, they do this out of disrespect to the foreigners, also they don't want to hear foreigners complain or adjust the instructions so they purposely try to run out the clock on them to keep them busy and quiet. A part of it is to see the foreigners stressed and fail. Yeah, really. They want it to fail. Give them what they want and let it collapse. Of course they blame it all on the foreigners, but just repeat your talking points and keep on repeating them. You get off topic, they'll keep jabbering in your face, you stay on topic they'll get frustrated and give up.....eventually.
iGarten Creverse, April, CDI, are all basically the Chungdahm umbrella, I don't know why anyone hasn't figured out not to work for any of these places.
Search bar: iGarten Seocho Branch DO NOT DO IT!
Blogpage
Google Maps
You wanted to be a teacher? Well then TEACH. Students and everyone else learn a lot from failure. You can talk / complain all day long--ears closed. As soon as there are consequences for failure, leaving the classroom with a room full of naughty children, deadlines are not reached, parents are put off by poor results, management is caught with their pants down--ears open.
Now, do you have the spine inside you to reject punishment? Are you going to reject it and walk out the door, fight back, keep on with your talking points? To SAVE FACE, management will undoubtedly:
a) have a meeting in which they emote all over you, blame you for everything.
b) demand you come to work early/stay late to get said work done, without pay of course.
c) demand you go home and come back with the work completed, without sleep or pay of course.
d) threaten to withhold salary until objective is completed?
e) stink-eyes, sneers, passive-aggressive pouty behavior?
You don't need to throw chairs and getting into a big donnybrook about it (thank you Thesaurus.com). Stick to your talking points, "I'm not doing that, you didn't give us proper notice, there is no time in the day to do it, you aren't paying us overtime or actually anything at all" etc etc.. and if you really need to "Cross the Rubicon" (Thank you Wikipedia), you may have to go full Willy Wonka on their ass:
Wrong, sir! Wrong! Under section 37B of the contract signed by him, it states quite clearly that all offers shall become null and void if - and you can read it for yourself in this photostatic copy:
I, the undersigned, shall forfeit all rights, privileges, and licenses herein and herein contained, et cetera, et cetera... Fax mentis incendium gloria cultum, et cetera, et cetera... Memo bis punitor delicatum!
It's all there, black and white, clear as crystal! You stole fizzy lifting drinks! You bumped into the ceiling which now has to be washed and sterilized, so you get nothing! You lose! Good day, sir!
2024.05.16 04:41 Sweet-Count2557 Aqua Tots Swim School of Horsham
 | Aqua Tots Swim School of Horsham Welcome to Aqua-Tots Swim School of Horsham, where we provide a safe and supportive environment for swimmers of all ages.At Aqua-Tots, we believe in the power of water and the importance of learning how to swim. Our dedicated instructors are committed to helping individuals become confident swimmers through our comprehensive programs.From beginners to advanced swimmers, we have a program that suits your needs.So, come and join us as we dive into the world of aquatic adventures and discover the joy of swimming.Key TakeawaysAqua-Tots Swim School of Horsham has state-of-the-art facilities designed for a safe and enjoyable swimming experience.They offer comprehensive swimming lesson programs for all ages, focusing on water safety and developing strong swimming skills.The school has implemented comprehensive safety measures and guidelines, including certified instructors, small class sizes, and surveillance cameras.The experienced and dedicated instructors prioritize water safety, tailor their teaching approach, and create a positive and supportive learning environment.Location and FacilitiesAt Aqua-Tots Swim School of Horsham, our location boasts state-of-the-art facilities that provide a safe and enjoyable environment for swimmers of all ages. We understand the importance of having top-notch facilities to ensure a positive swimming experience. Our aquatots horsham facility is equipped with modern amenities and designed with the comfort and safety of our swimmers in mind.When you step into our Aqua Tots Swim School in Horsham, you'll be greeted with a spacious and clean lobby. Our friendly staff will be there to assist you and answer any questions you may have. We believe in creating a welcoming atmosphere where everyone feels at ease.Our pool area is where the magic happens. The pool is heated to a comfortable temperature, providing a pleasant swimming experience for all. Whether you're a beginner learning the basics or an experienced swimmer honing your skills, our pool is the perfect place to do it. Our experienced instructors will guide you every step of the way, ensuring your safety and helping you reach your swimming goals.Safety is our top priority, which is why our pool area is equipped with the latest technology and safety measures. We've certified lifeguards on duty at all times, keeping a watchful eye on the swimmers. Additionally, we've well-maintained changing rooms and showers for your convenience.At Aqua-Tots Swim School of Horsham, we strive to create an environment where swimmers of all ages can learn, grow, and have fun. Our state-of-the-art facilities, experienced instructors, and commitment to safety make us the premier choice for aqua tots horsham. Come and experience the joy of swimming with us!Swimming Lesson ProgramsWhen it comes to our swimming lesson programs, we're dedicated to providing a comprehensive and engaging experience for swimmers of all ages at Aqua-Tots Swim School of Horsham. Our programs are designed to cater to the needs and abilities of each individual, ensuring that everyone can learn and progress at their own pace.For our youngest swimmers, we offer parent and child classes that focus on water safety and basic swimming skills. These classes create a fun and comfortable environment for infants and toddlers to become comfortable in the water while also introducing them to foundational swimming techniques.As children grow older and gain more independence, our preschool and school-age programs build on their existing skills and help them develop strong swimming strokes and techniques. Our experienced instructors work closely with each student, providing personalized instruction and guidance to ensure their progress and success.We also offer programs for teens and adults, recognizing that it's never too late to learn how to swim or improve one's swimming abilities. Whether you're a beginner looking to overcome a fear of the water or an experienced swimmer aiming to refine your technique, our instructors are here to help you achieve your goals.At Aqua-Tots Swim School of Horsham, our swimming lesson programs go beyond simply teaching swimming skills. We strive to create a positive and supportive environment where swimmers can build confidence, develop a love for the water, and have fun while learning. So whether you're a parent looking for your child's first swimming lessons or an adult wanting to improve your skills, we've a program that's right for you.Safety Measures and GuidelinesTo ensure the safety of all our swimmers, Aqua-Tots Swim School of Horsham has implemented a range of comprehensive safety measures and guidelines. Our top priority is to create a safe and secure environment where swimmers can learn and grow.Here are three safety measures and guidelines that we strictly enforce:Highly trained and experienced instructors: Our instructors undergo rigorous training and certification to ensure they're equipped with the necessary skills to teach swimming lessons effectively. They're trained in first aid and CPR, and have extensive knowledge of water safety techniques. With their expertise, they're able to guide and supervise swimmers, ensuring their safety at all times.Small class sizes: We believe in providing personalized attention to each swimmer, which is why our class sizes are kept small. By limiting the number of participants in each class, our instructors can closely monitor each swimmer's progress and address any safety concerns promptly. This allows for a safer and more controlled learning environment.Constant supervision and surveillance: Our facility is equipped with multiple lifeguards who are trained to keep a constant watch over the pool area. They're responsible for maintaining a safe environment and responding quickly to any emergencies. Additionally, we've surveillance cameras installed throughout the facility to further enhance the safety of our swimmers.Meet the InstructorsWith our commitment to safety in mind, let's now meet the experienced and dedicated instructors at Aqua-Tots Swim School of Horsham. Our team of instructors is passionate about teaching swimming and ensuring a safe and enjoyable experience for all our students. Each instructor at Aqua-Tots Swim School of Horsham is certified in CPR and first aid, and they undergo extensive training to teach swimming skills to swimmers of all ages and abilities.Our instructors have years of experience in teaching swimming and are skilled in creating a positive and supportive environment for learning. They understand that every swimmer is unique and may have different needs and goals. Our instructors take the time to get to know each student and tailor their teaching approach accordingly.At Aqua-Tots Swim School of Horsham, we believe in building strong relationships with our students and their families. Our instructors are friendly, approachable, and always willing to answer any questions or address any concerns. They strive to create a welcoming and inclusive atmosphere where everyone feels comfortable and supported.In addition to their expertise in teaching swimming, our instructors also have a deep understanding of water safety. They're well-versed in teaching essential water safety skills and educating students on how to stay safe in and around the water. Our instructors are committed to instilling confidence and a love for swimming in every student while prioritizing their safety at all times.When you enroll your child in swimming lessons at Aqua-Tots Swim School of Horsham, you can trust that they'll be in capable hands. Our instructors are dedicated professionals who are passionate about helping children become confident and skilled swimmers. We're proud to have such a talented and caring team of instructors at Aqua-Tots Swim School of Horsham.Testimonials and Success StoriesHave you ever wondered what parents and students have to say about their experience at Aqua-Tots Swim School of Horsham? Well, wonder no more! We've gathered some testimonials and success stories from our satisfied customers that showcase the positive impact our swim school has had on their lives.Here are three examples:'My child was always afraid of the water, but after enrolling them in Aqua-Tots Swim School, they've become confident and skilled swimmers. The instructors are patient and supportive, creating a safe and fun environment for learning. I'm thrilled with the progress my child has made and would highly recommend Aqua-Tots to any parent looking to teach their child how to swim.' - Sarah, parent'As an adult, I always wanted to learn how to swim but was too nervous to try. Aqua-Tots Swim School provided me with the opportunity to conquer my fear and learn a valuable life skill. The instructors were knowledgeable and encouraging, guiding me through each step of the process. Now, I feel confident and comfortable in the water, thanks to Aqua-Tots!' - John, adult student'Aqua-Tots Swim School exceeded my expectations in every way. Not only did my child learn how to swim, but they also developed a love for being in the water. The instructors truly care about each student's progress and tailor the lessons to their individual needs. I'm grateful for the positive experience my child had at Aqua-Tots and would highly recommend it to anyone seeking high-quality swimming lessons.' - Emily, parentThese testimonials and success stories are just a glimpse of the positive impact Aqua-Tots Swim School of Horsham has had on our students and their families. We take pride in providing a safe and nurturing environment for learning how to swim, and we're thrilled to see our students thrive in the water.Join us at Aqua-Tots and experience the joy of swimming!Frequently Asked QuestionsWhat Is the Cost of Swimming Lessons at Aqua-Tots Swim School of Horsham?The cost of swimming lessons at Aqua Tots Swim School of Horsham varies depending on the type of lesson and duration. We offer a range of options to meet the needs of all ages and skill levels.Our experienced instructors provide a safe and fun environment for learning.Please contact us directly or visit our website for more information on pricing and to find the best lesson option for you or your child.Are There Any Discounts or Promotions Available for Swimming Lessons?Yes, there are discounts and promotions available for swimming lessons. Our goal is to make swimming accessible to everyone, so we offer various discounts throughout the year.Whether it's a special promotion for new customers or a discount for multiple family members, we strive to ensure that everyone can enjoy the benefits of swimming at an affordable price.Stay tuned to our website or contact us directly for more information on our current discounts and promotions.How Long Is Each Swimming Lesson Session?Each swimming lesson session at Aqua Tots Swim School lasts for 30 minutes.Our experienced instructors provide a safe and fun environment suitable for all ages.Whether you're a beginner or looking to improve your skills, our lessons are designed to meet your needs.Join us and dive into the wonderful world of swimming!What Is the Cancellation Policy for Swimming Lessons at Aqua-Tots Swim School of Horsham?The cancellation policy for swimming lessons at Aqua-Tots Swim School of Horsham is quite lenient. We understand that things come up and plans change, so we allow cancellations up to 24 hours before the scheduled lesson. This gives you plenty of time to make any necessary adjustments without incurring any fees.We value your time and want to ensure that you have the flexibility to enjoy your swimming lessons without any unnecessary stress.Are There Any Specific Requirements or Prerequisites for Enrolling in Swimming Lessons at Aqua-Tots Swim School of Horsham?There aren't any specific requirements or prerequisites for enrolling in swimming lessons at Aqua-Tots Swim School of Horsham. Our swim school is suitable for all ages and our experienced instructors create a safe and fun environment for learning.We believe that everyone should have the opportunity to learn how to swim, regardless of their skill level or previous experience. So whether you're a beginner or looking to improve your swimming skills, we welcome you to join our swim school.ConclusionIn conclusion, Aqua-Tots Swim School of Horsham offers a safe and fun environment for all ages to learn how to swim. Our state-of-the-art facility and highly trained instructors ensure personalized attention and guidance for each student. With a focus on safety and nurturing, we create an atmosphere where students can develop their skills at their own pace.Did you know that according to the CDC, drowning is the leading cause of injury death for children aged 1-4? At Aqua-Tots, we're committed to equipping children with essential swimming skills to prevent such tragedies. Join us and discover the joy of swimming today. submitted by Sweet-Count2557 to worldkidstravel [link] [comments] |
2024.05.16 04:32 Zeno_3NHO Is model prediction setup required for every time prediction is called?
TLDR:
Hello, this is my first successful tensorflow project. I have a model that works and is fast, 1ms to conduct multiple predictions. However, to do a single prediction, there is still a lot of overhead and it takes about 100ms to complete. I'm sure that there are a bunch of different ways that I can optimize my model, but I think that I am not using the process correctly.
I want to use this model to do live audio processing to quickly determine what phoneme (specifically 5 vowel sounds for right now) is being spoken just by looking at only 264 bins of the FFT. But having a delay of 100ms is rather bothersome. Especially since it only spends about 2ms actually crunching numbers (1.01ms for fft and 900us for prediction)
If I had a GPU, I would suspect that a lot of that time is being spent on loading data onto the GPU, but Im doing this on a CPU. I know that some level of overhear is needed to conduct a prediction, but is there a way to only have to setup once? I dont know what i dont know, so trying to find info about it is difficult. So is there a way to only have to setup once?
EDIT - ANSWER:
So I think I got it... I need to use model(x) instead of model.predict(x). which is stated in the docs for model.predict(x). However, it is not mentioned that the prediction data is located in .numpy() for model. So, to completely replace "model.predict(x)" with "model(x).numpy()"
submitted by Zeno_3NHO to tensorflow [link] [comments]
- am noob
- using CPU
- prediction is fast (1ms) (the time spent crunching numbers is 1ms per prediction)
- overhead takes long time (100ms) (doing 100 predictions takes 200ms, but 1 prediction takes 101ms)
- want fast response times
- how can i reduce subsequent overhead? (like after some sort of setup, can i then get single predictions that take about 1-2ms?)
Hello, this is my first successful tensorflow project. I have a model that works and is fast, 1ms to conduct multiple predictions. However, to do a single prediction, there is still a lot of overhead and it takes about 100ms to complete. I'm sure that there are a bunch of different ways that I can optimize my model, but I think that I am not using the process correctly.
I want to use this model to do live audio processing to quickly determine what phoneme (specifically 5 vowel sounds for right now) is being spoken just by looking at only 264 bins of the FFT. But having a delay of 100ms is rather bothersome. Especially since it only spends about 2ms actually crunching numbers (1.01ms for fft and 900us for prediction)
If I had a GPU, I would suspect that a lot of that time is being spent on loading data onto the GPU, but Im doing this on a CPU. I know that some level of overhear is needed to conduct a prediction, but is there a way to only have to setup once? I dont know what i dont know, so trying to find info about it is difficult. So is there a way to only have to setup once?
EDIT - ANSWER:
So I think I got it... I need to use model(x) instead of model.predict(x). which is stated in the docs for model.predict(x). However, it is not mentioned that the prediction data is located in .numpy() for model. So, to completely replace "model.predict(x)" with "model(x).numpy()"
2024.05.16 02:43 LowEffortHuman Screaming - not just for tantrums
This may not be the most eloquent of posts but I’m trying to cram a bunch of info in so there’s a fuller picture. I’m more than happy to clarify or add more detail if necessary. Just at the end of my wits with this damn screaming. He turned 4 in March. No diagnosed behavioral or developmental issues. Could be autistic, but it would be more along the lines of what was formerly called Asperger’s. His dad is diagnosed and it’s suspected that his grandpa and great grandpa on dads side were undiagnosed. What’s strange about this is he is actually noise sensitive! The washing machine, blender, and sometimes vacuum bothers him. Emergency sirens bother him if they’re too close. He will frequently cover his ears. Except for when he is himself approaching glass shattering decibels.
Types of screams:
•because he’s mad and doesn’t want to calm down. I sat with him in his room Monday for almost 30 minutes. We were taking a break because he had thrown a stool at me twice because he was angry. If we tried to engage, he screamed. If we stayed in the room, he screamed for us to leave. If we left, he would scream until we came back. When I sat on his bed and told him I will just sit here quietly until he’s ready, he screamed. Not even at me. He completely turned away from me and kept tantruming for 10 more minutes then just stopped and was ready to talk about what he was feeling and what he wanted to do to make his “big sad” smaller. 2 minutes of that activity and he was fine.
•in the car. He can be playing and jabbering to himself then screech. We tried a scream box and he gives zero fks about it. He’s more interested in throwing it at us so it didn’t last long. He will also scream when my husband and I are trying to talk to each other and only stops when one of us engages him. We usually tell him that we have to talk to each other and we will talk to him when we’re done. Trying to empathize with him wanting to talk to us and having to be patient only triggers him to scream he doesn’t want to be patient and he’s completely hijacked the car ride because we are either dealing with his meltdown or not talking to each other while he plays and jabbers in the back because we just don’t want to be yelled at.
•Just a sudden screams. Playing with his toys, laughing, running around, he will just screech. Todays example is I was watching a funny video with him on my phone and was trying to send it to his dad. Before I could even hit send, he screams. You know, that scream where if it was a cartoon, you could see his tonsils wiggling. It’s 10 minutes later and the ear he was next to is still ringing and feels muted.
He starts regular school in August and my teacher friends have ASSURED me he will be fine because “kids are always different in school than home” and we haven’t had screaming issues at preschool, but I don’t want to send him to full time school and he’s partly feral because he would rather scream than respond in a quieter voice or just communicate the need instead of screeching at the first discomfort.
Not to mention my fight or flight response that is triggered when I’m laying in my bed and he comes in not jacked up then screams in my ear or the panic in the car as I’m driving because a kid is suddenly screaming and I can’t figure out if there’s an actual problem.
I’ve tried telling him is he needs to scream, he needs to go outside, to his room, or to his closet. I explained that when I’m so angry I want to scream I go in my closet and scream. He doesn’t want that (probably because it’s what’s being asked of him and he has an oppositional streak). I’ve tried loops, I have construction ear protection, but I cannot wear these 100% of the time because they eventually make my ears sore so I try to wear them in the “most likely to be screamed” zones, but again, held hostage because nowhere appears to be safe because his screaming is just whenever tf he wants while he’s awake.
He really is a great, funny, frequently empathetic kid, but this screaming is wearing us parents down because we cannot find a solution and we are being constantly startled, sometimes to tears because it is so sudden and shrill.
submitted by LowEffortHuman to gentleparenting [link] [comments]
Types of screams:
•because he’s mad and doesn’t want to calm down. I sat with him in his room Monday for almost 30 minutes. We were taking a break because he had thrown a stool at me twice because he was angry. If we tried to engage, he screamed. If we stayed in the room, he screamed for us to leave. If we left, he would scream until we came back. When I sat on his bed and told him I will just sit here quietly until he’s ready, he screamed. Not even at me. He completely turned away from me and kept tantruming for 10 more minutes then just stopped and was ready to talk about what he was feeling and what he wanted to do to make his “big sad” smaller. 2 minutes of that activity and he was fine.
•in the car. He can be playing and jabbering to himself then screech. We tried a scream box and he gives zero fks about it. He’s more interested in throwing it at us so it didn’t last long. He will also scream when my husband and I are trying to talk to each other and only stops when one of us engages him. We usually tell him that we have to talk to each other and we will talk to him when we’re done. Trying to empathize with him wanting to talk to us and having to be patient only triggers him to scream he doesn’t want to be patient and he’s completely hijacked the car ride because we are either dealing with his meltdown or not talking to each other while he plays and jabbers in the back because we just don’t want to be yelled at.
•Just a sudden screams. Playing with his toys, laughing, running around, he will just screech. Todays example is I was watching a funny video with him on my phone and was trying to send it to his dad. Before I could even hit send, he screams. You know, that scream where if it was a cartoon, you could see his tonsils wiggling. It’s 10 minutes later and the ear he was next to is still ringing and feels muted.
He starts regular school in August and my teacher friends have ASSURED me he will be fine because “kids are always different in school than home” and we haven’t had screaming issues at preschool, but I don’t want to send him to full time school and he’s partly feral because he would rather scream than respond in a quieter voice or just communicate the need instead of screeching at the first discomfort.
Not to mention my fight or flight response that is triggered when I’m laying in my bed and he comes in not jacked up then screams in my ear or the panic in the car as I’m driving because a kid is suddenly screaming and I can’t figure out if there’s an actual problem.
I’ve tried telling him is he needs to scream, he needs to go outside, to his room, or to his closet. I explained that when I’m so angry I want to scream I go in my closet and scream. He doesn’t want that (probably because it’s what’s being asked of him and he has an oppositional streak). I’ve tried loops, I have construction ear protection, but I cannot wear these 100% of the time because they eventually make my ears sore so I try to wear them in the “most likely to be screamed” zones, but again, held hostage because nowhere appears to be safe because his screaming is just whenever tf he wants while he’s awake.
He really is a great, funny, frequently empathetic kid, but this screaming is wearing us parents down because we cannot find a solution and we are being constantly startled, sometimes to tears because it is so sudden and shrill.
2024.05.16 02:13 TheCrazyZonie I am an Idiot. I should not have waited as long as I have.
As the title says, I am an idiot, and I should not have put off transitioning and living as myself for as long as I did.
To say I'm a late bloomer is a bit of an understatement. I realized I was trans when I was 28, despite things along the way hinting at it from early childhood. And I started down the road towards discovering this part of me. Started taking hormones, buying clothes, and changed over some of my online accounts around 2000. Then a few things happened. In 2002, I became a single parent. I had a bad experience where some people I confided at work who I thought I could trust turned my life into a private joke in the gossip mill behind my back. I found out when my boss at the time (an old Christian woman) pulled me into her office to "have a talk" that I wasn't ready mentally or emotionally to have at that time. And I wasn't aware as much about my rights back then as I do now, so it was very scary when she said she was putting a note into my permanent file. And, I was renting a house from my mom and dad. While I believe my mom would have been cool about it, I know I can't say the same for my dad.
Because of the situation, I ended up stopping and compartmentalizing things. I was doing DIY HRT, using the gels instead of the patches (because I wasn't happy with them and they itched) or pills (There's history of strokes with my maternal grandfather and his brothers). But out of fears of accidentally dosing my daughter and the added cost of childcare, I stopped HRT completely. For a while I was still dressing up and going out once every week or two, but stopped that the same time my daughter started preschool and her old babysitter was no longer available. (Babysitter was going through things in her life and moved across town when her own kids. So, it wasn't anything to do with this.)
At the same time, work was hell and I had long commutes to and from the office, even without having to drop off and pick up my daughter from school. And then there's the added daily parental stuff once I got us home. Because of her school, my bad experience with work (that persisted for YEARS after that event), and fears of what would happen to both her and me should one of the staff and/or parents get wind of "there's a man in drag on campus", my female self got stuffed into the back of the closet. Enrolling my daughter in soccer and volunteering to coach and ref for the organization did not help. And then there was the fear of what my dad would do should he find out. When it was just myself, it wasn't that bad, but it's harder to move and look for a new place when you have a child to consider. And, No, I did not hide this from my daughter. She knew from a very early age that sometimes Daddy was also Mommy.
Now it's 24 years later. This month marks the third year I officially became an empty nester as my daughter moved across town to attend college. I don't know what it is. Maybe something she said to me in front of her boyfriend. Maybe it was her confession that she used me and my life as to refute something said in a sociology class she was taking. (I really wish she would have asked me, but oh well.) Maybe it's just something else I am not aware of. But I dragged the boxes of myself out of the closet and unpacked them. Last couple of months saw me clear out all the old clothes I either don't fit in now (I'm a size 16/18???Uhg!) or never fit back then and donated them to Goodwill. I've started going out and doing most of my daily stuff not only dressed female, but with jewelry and makeup. I have meds ordered. And I'm made changes to most of my online profiles I don't need a legal identity for. The cleaning went well beyond the wardrobe into other areas that aren't gender related. (Dishes don't sit in the sink for as long as they used to.) Toes have been painted. I've stopped biting my nails and are trying to grow them out so I can get a manicure. And while I still feel some anxiousness, I'm generally happier.
The moment that relates to this title happened earlier today. Looking at my nails, I realized it's been over a month and a half, maybe two, since I've last bitten, ripped, or clipped my nails well into their beds. This might sound small and insignificant, but I turn 52 this weekend, and for most of my life, I've struggled with nail biting. If a nail rubs a finger wrong, or I find something "off" running my thumb across them, it was almost automatic before I noticed. It was almost an instinctual reflex. And I have tried at times. At most I would go about two months while constantly fighting the urge. Because of how things were in the 2000's and other situations in my life, I couldn't go the nail polish route, and emery boards didn't help. But now the impulse itself seems to be gone. Sure, I might chew on the nail a little, but not to bite or rip the nail. And I know correlation does not imply causation, but I can't help think it's part of it.
Sure, there's still stuff left to do. I still haven't had "the talk" with work, but it's not an issue as I work from home and we rarely have in office meetings anymore. (You can thank working in a healthcare environment and COVID for that.) Talked with my brother, and we both agreed that at this point, having "the talk" with my dad would not help anything. (It's complicated. But he also doesn't have much time left.) But looking back, I shouldn't have stopped things and waited so long. I could have kept up with HRT. I should have found out what my rights were back then instead of living in fear at work. It wasn't a big deal for my daughter at the time and I could have been freer and more open in the privacy of my own home. It might have even helped me with the stresses of working in the department I was in. And by the time my daughter was high school aged, the world changed enough that I could have been open doing the parental stuff. (Her school was very pro LGBTQ+ and my daughter was even part of a support club for a while.)
So, long story short, the title tells it like it is. I am an idiot for waiting so long. Please use me as an example of how NOT to transition. Hugs for everyone.
submitted by TheCrazyZonie to trans [link] [comments]
To say I'm a late bloomer is a bit of an understatement. I realized I was trans when I was 28, despite things along the way hinting at it from early childhood. And I started down the road towards discovering this part of me. Started taking hormones, buying clothes, and changed over some of my online accounts around 2000. Then a few things happened. In 2002, I became a single parent. I had a bad experience where some people I confided at work who I thought I could trust turned my life into a private joke in the gossip mill behind my back. I found out when my boss at the time (an old Christian woman) pulled me into her office to "have a talk" that I wasn't ready mentally or emotionally to have at that time. And I wasn't aware as much about my rights back then as I do now, so it was very scary when she said she was putting a note into my permanent file. And, I was renting a house from my mom and dad. While I believe my mom would have been cool about it, I know I can't say the same for my dad.
Because of the situation, I ended up stopping and compartmentalizing things. I was doing DIY HRT, using the gels instead of the patches (because I wasn't happy with them and they itched) or pills (There's history of strokes with my maternal grandfather and his brothers). But out of fears of accidentally dosing my daughter and the added cost of childcare, I stopped HRT completely. For a while I was still dressing up and going out once every week or two, but stopped that the same time my daughter started preschool and her old babysitter was no longer available. (Babysitter was going through things in her life and moved across town when her own kids. So, it wasn't anything to do with this.)
At the same time, work was hell and I had long commutes to and from the office, even without having to drop off and pick up my daughter from school. And then there's the added daily parental stuff once I got us home. Because of her school, my bad experience with work (that persisted for YEARS after that event), and fears of what would happen to both her and me should one of the staff and/or parents get wind of "there's a man in drag on campus", my female self got stuffed into the back of the closet. Enrolling my daughter in soccer and volunteering to coach and ref for the organization did not help. And then there was the fear of what my dad would do should he find out. When it was just myself, it wasn't that bad, but it's harder to move and look for a new place when you have a child to consider. And, No, I did not hide this from my daughter. She knew from a very early age that sometimes Daddy was also Mommy.
Now it's 24 years later. This month marks the third year I officially became an empty nester as my daughter moved across town to attend college. I don't know what it is. Maybe something she said to me in front of her boyfriend. Maybe it was her confession that she used me and my life as to refute something said in a sociology class she was taking. (I really wish she would have asked me, but oh well.) Maybe it's just something else I am not aware of. But I dragged the boxes of myself out of the closet and unpacked them. Last couple of months saw me clear out all the old clothes I either don't fit in now (I'm a size 16/18???Uhg!) or never fit back then and donated them to Goodwill. I've started going out and doing most of my daily stuff not only dressed female, but with jewelry and makeup. I have meds ordered. And I'm made changes to most of my online profiles I don't need a legal identity for. The cleaning went well beyond the wardrobe into other areas that aren't gender related. (Dishes don't sit in the sink for as long as they used to.) Toes have been painted. I've stopped biting my nails and are trying to grow them out so I can get a manicure. And while I still feel some anxiousness, I'm generally happier.
The moment that relates to this title happened earlier today. Looking at my nails, I realized it's been over a month and a half, maybe two, since I've last bitten, ripped, or clipped my nails well into their beds. This might sound small and insignificant, but I turn 52 this weekend, and for most of my life, I've struggled with nail biting. If a nail rubs a finger wrong, or I find something "off" running my thumb across them, it was almost automatic before I noticed. It was almost an instinctual reflex. And I have tried at times. At most I would go about two months while constantly fighting the urge. Because of how things were in the 2000's and other situations in my life, I couldn't go the nail polish route, and emery boards didn't help. But now the impulse itself seems to be gone. Sure, I might chew on the nail a little, but not to bite or rip the nail. And I know correlation does not imply causation, but I can't help think it's part of it.
Sure, there's still stuff left to do. I still haven't had "the talk" with work, but it's not an issue as I work from home and we rarely have in office meetings anymore. (You can thank working in a healthcare environment and COVID for that.) Talked with my brother, and we both agreed that at this point, having "the talk" with my dad would not help anything. (It's complicated. But he also doesn't have much time left.) But looking back, I shouldn't have stopped things and waited so long. I could have kept up with HRT. I should have found out what my rights were back then instead of living in fear at work. It wasn't a big deal for my daughter at the time and I could have been freer and more open in the privacy of my own home. It might have even helped me with the stresses of working in the department I was in. And by the time my daughter was high school aged, the world changed enough that I could have been open doing the parental stuff. (Her school was very pro LGBTQ+ and my daughter was even part of a support club for a while.)
So, long story short, the title tells it like it is. I am an idiot for waiting so long. Please use me as an example of how NOT to transition. Hugs for everyone.
2024.05.16 00:46 MountRoseATP Extended School Year question
Hi everyone,
I have a five year old son with ASD, who is transitioning out of a school for kids with special needs, to the public elementary school for preschool. On the draft for his IEP, they didn’t recommend an extended school year program. Basically, is this a tough recommendation to get? I’ve heard that it usually only is for children who digress academically over the summer, and while he doesn’t tend to do that, he does struggle with the change in routine and transition to and from a long break. At the beginning of this school year, they tried to send him to a different school, and I think the massive change caused him such anxiety that he ended up having some GI issues, when he’s normally totally pott trained. (Although I will admit that it sounds like that classroom may have been a chaotic, stressy mess. They didn’t provide the teacher with enough support and it was a disaster)
We’re really fortunate that his current school received a grant for a summer camp this summer, so he’ll be attending that this year. Otherwise there are very limited resources in the summer for special needs kids (we’re in North Carolina).
So, TL;DR, is it tough to get a recommendation for an extended school year? Is it generally frowned upon for educators to recommend it, or is it saved for the children who really regress academically and socially over the summer?
Thanks!
submitted by MountRoseATP to specialed [link] [comments]
I have a five year old son with ASD, who is transitioning out of a school for kids with special needs, to the public elementary school for preschool. On the draft for his IEP, they didn’t recommend an extended school year program. Basically, is this a tough recommendation to get? I’ve heard that it usually only is for children who digress academically over the summer, and while he doesn’t tend to do that, he does struggle with the change in routine and transition to and from a long break. At the beginning of this school year, they tried to send him to a different school, and I think the massive change caused him such anxiety that he ended up having some GI issues, when he’s normally totally pott trained. (Although I will admit that it sounds like that classroom may have been a chaotic, stressy mess. They didn’t provide the teacher with enough support and it was a disaster)
We’re really fortunate that his current school received a grant for a summer camp this summer, so he’ll be attending that this year. Otherwise there are very limited resources in the summer for special needs kids (we’re in North Carolina).
So, TL;DR, is it tough to get a recommendation for an extended school year? Is it generally frowned upon for educators to recommend it, or is it saved for the children who really regress academically and socially over the summer?
Thanks!
2024.05.15 23:32 puppies_love Feeling Like I Dont Fit In As RBT
I left a preschool job that I had been doing 7 years to work as an RBT thinking I’d be great at it because “hey, I have so much experience with kids including those with autism! and I’ll only have one child to watch instead of 20!”
I’ve worked as an RBT about 2 months and starting to regret it. I have had a coworker say to me “it took me about 2 weeks before I was good at the job”, another said “about a month”.
I don’t feel like I’m really even good at this job, it’s confusing at times, the clients don’t always seem to pair very well with me, and sometimes I don’t want to go to work because I know that I’m going to get hurt.
Not only that but I also feel like I don’t fit in with the staff. First of all, I’m extremely shy but it’s like they’re already this tight-knit group and meetings and social functions are so awkward.
I’m missing my old job where I felt like I was doing a great job and was always praised for it, won awards, and felt like I truly “fit in”.
Is this normal upon being a 2 month long RBT or should I look into another job? You can be totally honest.
submitted by puppies_love to RBT [link] [comments]
I’ve worked as an RBT about 2 months and starting to regret it. I have had a coworker say to me “it took me about 2 weeks before I was good at the job”, another said “about a month”.
I don’t feel like I’m really even good at this job, it’s confusing at times, the clients don’t always seem to pair very well with me, and sometimes I don’t want to go to work because I know that I’m going to get hurt.
Not only that but I also feel like I don’t fit in with the staff. First of all, I’m extremely shy but it’s like they’re already this tight-knit group and meetings and social functions are so awkward.
I’m missing my old job where I felt like I was doing a great job and was always praised for it, won awards, and felt like I truly “fit in”.
Is this normal upon being a 2 month long RBT or should I look into another job? You can be totally honest.
2024.05.15 22:39 Still_Ad_4928 Of Hearts and Women Part-II (Book-Sample)
Not shared, nor my shade; but something to be weaved; just as the measure of disappointment became it's own solution. But I talked my way through things forbidden, just to find myself blind in bed with those who are dead. Clumsy, but altogether natural of course, because it's consciousness what you refer in the description, yet that's what we don't get a lot about. See your deeds the way you are seen, and then return to a restless place: and the question in-between sheets will be why. Well, I just can't motivate myself to work without hot bitches staring. And that's the truth. Sad but True
— Hearfelt comment for an instagram witch.
Del desprecio a ese descarte, no he visto muchas cosas. Así se pasa una más para las cuentas, y aquí otro más para los versos, por qué aquí no hemos sido vistos. Cuánto más querría uno, que sino lo cuentas ni mucho menos piensas: << lo de este pibe que cosa más horrible>>, haciendo eso lamentable, por qué en decirlo nadie ha mentido. ¡Es horrible! Que cara es entonces la cuenta de lo que le sale a uno vivir sin más complejos; mejor seria cobrarmelo, para así saber que de algo ha valido. Bloqueame.
— Heartfelt comment for a random supermodel-to-be.
The Spirit of Fire
Flames begone, flames in spite: their warmth I felt - so I closed my fist until I could feel the warmth of my blood in my hand. And in dreams Fire came up to me and said: who am I? And I said unto him: you are bound to my bidding, thus your name misery will be. But fire wretched as he was, got closer and asked: and who are you?
And I said unto him that the blood of David ran through my veins, as I was his heir; for the mother of God claim me from death as a son. So Fire tried me, and figured it out.
You are son of woman —said Fire unto me— but as Fire acknowledged the name, I extended my left hand, and took Fire by the neck throwing him into the gound. — You are going to lace yourself to the right hand of the beast, and you'll keep him steady, so I can cleanly take him down. And Fire stayed down, and with his forehead kissing the ground asked unto me —why would the heir of David do so to earthly man?
And I said unto Fire that the beast from the abyss had left no mother for God, so I was to leave none of his body left for his head; as I was going to make it bleed until the end of the end of times.
The Spirit of Earth
Shapeless and without body, but keen within her many numbers, Earth came up to me in dreams, and said: who am I? And posessed in spirit as I was, I said unto her, that God had made her maiden again, and that she shall become the coins that Judas never received, which were to become the due payment of man and women for the body of Christ. Then I extended my right hand, and grabbed Earth by her hair —which descended deep into the abysses of hell— and cut it short so the demons of Lilith would no longer had her gripped by her back.
You are now a woman, and I'm going to rise you from the grounds. You'll lace yourself to the left hand of the beast, and keep it steady so with one shot I can cleanly take him down.
The Spirit of Air
A dream shaped by written words, whispered down for years by the currents of this Montain, and it's requiem witnessed but by a few — the end of dreams. But from where I standed at the peak, I called upon the distant currents that went down, and asked them: who am I?
And Air came unto me as bird, which had thousands of letters for feathers, and in the tongue of dead men answered.
"Somebody who only a few will remember by strange deeds; as the burden on your back, is a past tainted by impossible dreams. You were a lunatic giving new names to folk, and folk never bothered to remember —so your name must be freak, as you died in a forgotten shack some short time ago."
And as Air said these things upon me, I called Misery —as I had dubbed Fire — and told him to get inside my shot. The burden as Air had said, became lesser as i took the shot from my quiver. And I said upon Misery; that he was to set ablaze this arrow, as I was taking down the bird of Britain, and that I would do so, so God would give the deeds of Earth some better names.
The Lord is making a bridge between the empire of strength, and the last empire of men. Now by God's grace, I'm making the tongue of free men, the tongue of Spain. You will be eventually bound to my bidding, and if not me, it will be to the one I'm preceding; for I'm giving you twenty years to attone your wrongdoing. Alas, now because of your wretchedness, my shot on earthly men won't be clean, for his left leg won't stay steady.
Your old name was apathy, now I'm calling you Cisma, which in the tongue of dead men means schism. So now by the will of God lay unto the ground and say the words you've been teached. And as the arrow blazed forward, it's bending motion pierced the veil hiding the secret ladder of men. The bird of Britain catched on Fire, and it's hollering resounded throught the ladders of the mountain until the depths of the abyss. A column of air turned into fire, then violenty erupted from the vowels of the bird, and the wild fire spread as a storm from west to east all throughout the five kingdoms of men away from its own fiery wings, with a gift of misery and a few words to say.
"The name of your woman or the name of your man, will no longer explain their purpose to a man, a woman, or God. Charred words written by thunder will now be the new ladder of men — but until then, darkness upon thee."
The House of Water
I head into the coasts, and the beautiful beaches in-between, to find the stranger who burns images in the skin of men. He is the stranger, and has adopted the body of a monster, and he is one who cannot be understood, so he went on to only go out home in stunts, for the burdens in his heart have become too great to bear. Through terrible pains he has given all he once was for an identity, and as I pick up on his past, i found familiarity in the feelings of his heart. Oh dear friend how we found looking in sadness to ourselves, after doing same but with different means, carrying into our shoulders the loneliness of this world. As you have in-skin the garments of the strange doctrine that I preach — I shall congrate you, for you truly have fought the world entire, for my doctrine is the words of those who shall defeat the world entire.
I may not have your strangeness in-body, but I have it in these words, and in the true feelings of my heart. And I say in admiration that there's no higher form of art, philosophy or religion: than those who perform the highest thing they can give a name about.
Now even within solitude, and at odds with what old dead men call God, I see you and I found strength in you, as I can see you are within me, and in that, you are within everything as it should be - as is meant in everyone who does something that touches the heart of another man. I call this the kingdom of God. Yet blind men and women will wonder how can the kingdom of God possibly be within two outcasts such as you and me.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Upong giving my regards and waiting for response, I found my way into a bench. It was a warm afternoon, and the wind carried the water of the sea. The bird of Britain came about down from the wind of north, and layed on the bench were I was sitting.
The bird asked: why hast thou become this?
And I said back to bird, scorched he was and nearing death, that it was me someone who was supposed to give names, yet for years I couldn't figure out one for myself. Then on went to being given a name, Alas all the wrong ones. Did Adan gave himself a name? - I asked the bird back. And there was no response from bird. Then I continued.
A man has the essence of his soul retained by what he is seen doing. Yet I did things nobody saw, so my soul wasn't with God but with something just as ancient, and nonetheless unknown by men in its true nature — then Satan as the better known devil, came about and pushed me into a hole. It was my own doing. Yet the things I did, I thought were seen. But nonetheless what I did was without contemplation on a posible return. Just as somebody who prints an image on their own skin. It's permanent. This is the essence of a memory in the soul of the man who's seen by others. But in the familiarity of a man who picked every irreversible decision like the Alien, I find myself feeling sympathy, for the man is still not what he has been seen doing, he shall redeem himself by what he decides to turn himself into.
Is this a way of saying that you want to get yourself a tattoo? Get a new look? - the bird mockingly asked.
And I gave the scorched bird no answer.
Then the bird said unto me: what about your career as a prophet, uh? And the things you said about returning with substance? Do you actually think this is substance?
And i considered what the Bird said, then I negated with a movement of my own head. It is not i answered, but i find the memories of me not making sense unbearable. For those mean the memories of a fool, un pendejo, an insane person, or both. And I will always try to amend what I don't do well. But now I wish for only one thing, and it is to be remembered as someone who makes sense, and who out of that sense, made good upon the world. I don't expect anything in return for what I do now, as it is merely an outlet to keep me sane while I finish editing my work. It's clear I'm too incompetent to be a competent influencer. As for once, I don't care about influencing anyone into what I think; but to perform what I think it's important.
Then every proverbial student is free to take classes so as they see fit, and to interpret such classes as their comprehension gives them grasp of what it's said. In such regard, this is what I offer now, while I make the journey to Madrid. And the bird tilted it's head so as to observe me with his left eye, then after a long impasse, it made a loud and painful caw, and finally flew away. Soon after the bird flew, I looked upon the stars in the nascent night, and confessed to them, that it was the memories of who we were, what often stumps us into wrong beliefs of who we should be, maybe even wasting an entire lifetime retained by that which other people remembered us as being. But we are not the owners of our own names, the place we go, and our destiny. That's the biggest lie the western world of hollywood heros tell you, as in truth is collective agreement what determines what we look like doing and thus the meaning we should comfort to, recalling that names are practical mechanisms to remember the purpose of things, their meaning, and how their motion is described in the world.
But making the task of beating that collective belief, akin to the Nietzschean ideal of the camel turning into the lion, so as to transform it's spirit and become something else. But if it's the golden dragon of all the huamn values which judges you insane, will you be prepared to wrestle with the entire culture so as to have your way?
As I layed my eyes upon each star counting up to the number seventeen, I confessed of being scared of those beliefs, as revisiting the past, became a painful deed — and as I prepared to leave, I uttered one wish on the seventeenth point in the sky.
Lord please grant me strength, the way you have given my friend strenght.
2.
The night deepen, while the sea tide sang its own song of breathing. Some time passed, and then on the stranger showed himself approaching at the distance. I waved my hand at him, and after the instant, he found his way into my bench while I welcomed him with an extended fist which he casually bumped - after the short acknowledgement the dark alien looked at my face in between it's cover of dark, and looking at it undiscernable in its true features, with suspicion asked.
— What is it that you want?
I acknowledged him as a friend, then mentioned my brief research, as I had come to know him as man looking for a job, yet nobody would hire for things mundane due to his appearance. I listened closely to the news, and came to understand that this was a man looking for a second chance.Then I saw the intent behind his doing, and two words came to stick to my own thoughts. The first one was <> and the second one was <>. I was admired.
In analytical psychology I figured this man was the ESFP —the personality archetype related to the performer and the entertainer—, possessed in an abnormal way by the spirit by which a person submits to it's contrary nature, seeking to integrate and find fulfillment through the chase of what's perceived absent. If he was the ESFP then doing the flip by following the radial axis of each Jungian function in the stack towards their opposite resulted in the INTJ. The mastermind. The architect. The genius yet awfully complex individual. That was the elusive spirit he was chasing.
But a spirit and a character that at its most pronounced embodiment in a person, would experience life as an eternal foreigner hiding from the light of other men. Such made sense to me, for I myself was the INTJ, and had at spirit the ESFP. Him. So where as this man chased the spiritual fulfillment of being a complex and deep individual, I chased the fulfillment of becoming simpler, so I could demonstrate with action the deepest desires of my heart. One who was born plentiful in means to be liked, becomes complex, mysterious and uncomprehended, meeting one who will be seen trying to make sense becoming simpler. For Carl Jung portrayed the anima and animus of individuals, as the sense of what its absent, yet deeply cherished an valued. So I said these things to the alien, while he silently listened to me.
— All of that sounds like bullshit to me. -Said the alien after some contemplation .— Sorry but the things you say, don't mean anything to me.
And alas for I expected such response, as if one thing was true about this journey, was that explaining the journey in and of itself would become it's grimmest task. I affirmated what he just said with a slight nod of head.
— These things I say and how they relate to each other, in its excercise are similar to doing stecheometric balance with equations in the head, but simpler I'm afraid. - Then I paused, looked back into the sea, and continued. — That's high school chemistry, but I don't expect everybody to pick up on it, nor like it, nor understand it.
— Now i have called you a friend, and where I came from we dub with this title the people we share destiny with. As far as I'm concerned, we are chasing the same thing, which is the hardest posible thing. We both innately understand that we are not home, as we want our spirit to return to us, and that's not what a lot of people ever honestly try to attempt in a lifetime; as such is anyone's call to feel complete.
— And very few people ever reach true individuality, beyond the name they are imposed at birth.
Then I looked into the black alien, and in-between his foreign facial features, I interpreted something familiar. Disturbance. And I continued.
— We have given ourselves hell as we lived chasing something hard, so we can avoid the same hell later on when we are finally back to our own house. This is a christian precept, altought a rundimentary one. Does that makes sense to you?
And after listening such, the black alien calmly looked at the veil in my face in silence. Trying to discern what my face actually looked like, but the night was dark. Then turned his stare back to the reflection of the moon over the waters, giving some thought to what I just said. I opened up my backpack, and drawed two cans of beer from it. Offered one to him, and he silently refused with a gesture of hand. I popped my can and gave it a sip, while I myself stared at the tides coming in and out of the shore.
— If you wan't a tattoo, we can work that out. But this sounds annoyingly familiar, and my interest is not religious. Are you religious?
I nodded in affirmation, and complemented saying. — But my doctrine is something nobody has heard nor seen. For its aim, is doing as Christ said, in perfect means. Yet its true that the teaching fits you, as it's the teaching of the future man; and there's nothing in common between the current man and the future man, as they may very well be different species. This is the precept of evolution.
The alien seemed surprised.
— These two men don't know each other, for the current man doesn't know where the future man comes from, for he himself doesn't know where he is going. Yet in deep realization of your own artistic concept, I think you might want new ideas to meet with your appearance. So tell me, are you curious about what truly happens to a man after he dies? Do you want to learn how to read someone's mind? Do you want to blast with words of fire the hearts of an amazed crowd?
But the black alien broke his calm contemplation of what I was saying, and slighty disturbed, aggressively rebuked after hearing such.
— But you mentioned 'Christ', so you must be christian. How can a christian even say anything interesting in this current time? Last time I asked, their sayings were dreaded by restriction - so why would anyone condemn themselves to a life of bore? Are you a christian?
And I nodded after the question, in silence. Admittedly, for I knew what the problem was with being what I was, and my new companion was bang on identifying it. Made a pause, then raised my sight to where it met with the sky and the stars in it, and I said back to him.
— I am, but not one of a type you have ever seen, for the Christ that comes, is a Christ of art.
2.
The riptide sang, in its secret dialect of earth and sea. I looked upon the coast, turned an eye blind, and saw the ocean as the scorpio, and the land as the taurus; as it was the struggle between two lovers, never meant to consume each other. Ideal love then - yet not to confuse with this partnership as it was whimsilcally tied by the means in which i arranged my current conversation; for my lady somewhere waited for me. Then i allowed my eyes to rest still.
The alien looked upon me, undiscernable in my intentions, and again figured for himself that my interest towards him wasn’t clear. In suspicion, and after the moment he collected his thoughts asked “In your weird words you dubbed me performer, so what is it exactly that you wan’t from me. To me it seems like you are gathering people for some form of religious clown show. When you forced this meeting upon me, was this a proposal you thought i would find amusement in?”. And after the statement my own stare wandered in my conversation partner. While as he had his say, i returned to my can of beer, and finished it with a long gulp. Tempered in an unwillingness to fall to my new found friend irritation, i said within my own thoughts: “The alien looks easy going, but he is barbed in wit”.
Then i opened the can of beer that the stranger rejected; the loud pop resounded in the relative silence, interrupting for a moment the steady chorus of the sea. Gave it a long sip, and said.
– Theres no proposal in place yet. But im certain of something, and that is that both of us are messed individuals which reached the bottom doing the same thing - but the way my understandment of the human soul goes: two people can act by mere interaction as reactives to each other, creating a new chemical compound after the fact.
– This new psychology is very much like chemistry. But it is not my intention to draw you into something, but to pull myself out of this «something» by doing right on another person and maybe that person reflecting the good back on me. I just need a conversation partner, thats all. And i will do this with you, and with many people more. Presidents included.
The alien reflected on it, and after the hiatus of a long standing position of suspicion he finally gave in, and eased up with a slight smile. A strange smile of relief. But the smile, was all too familiar for me, as i realized the man was a tortured individual: a person in long standing pain. I smiled back the way he did, and continued.
– Our pain has a common name, and is a name that can be written with words unfortunately. It’s the devilish mother of all spiritual ills and its foundation, rests at the concept of a past that wasnt solved. It’s called «inadequeacy», and for people like you and me, understanding one day that such inadecuacy had to be solved by our own means, lead us into an act where our name changed as the changes in our cover up act to solve our inadequacy did.
– We never honored the past or the present in our pursuit, as we desired in passion to find solution to the present, by matching it into the idealization of some future without ever realizing that the old or present essence of ones being would be crushed into non existance by said future.
– Then we found the realization of that new name, only to understand that its demands became a tyranny on the other faces of our soul: as our soul is not something that can be undestood in unity, but something that conceives in the beginning in multiple things which try to give shape to one thing. Theres many people in a village, and our minds, are no exception.
— But happiness is only achieved by those who have their soul entire - or those who are the same person regardless of the context and scenario. And we gave to much to somebody that wasn't us, as our spirit took possession and lead us down.
– This is this the essence by which someone goes to hell, only to do one thing over again, getting an ever lasting pain for all the things that were given up chasing that which was absent. The more someone is forced into being shaped by the thing that was concevied in lust, the more the individual misses the place they used to call home, for that is no longer within ones reach. Does this makes sense to you?
The alien left me with no answer, and as he contemplated the sea, a tear travelled through his strange face.
– In this state of anguish, affliction rarely ever feels company, as the very individual condition that was pursued, became a full suit and persona to be forced upon and wear. Hell, is one lonely place man because we only learn to speak a language, that only makes sense to ourselves. But i think we can find a way out of it. This is why I'm here.
“Look, what you’ve done, it’s not something i can see the way you can see my own doing on me.” The alien replied. “Besides the way in which i canno’t see your face in this night, you seem ordinary — but what you talk and the way you say it, evokes in every word regret. What is it that you’ve done that has you regret like this?”
As the alien finished speaking, I emptied the can of beer, layed my eyes on the irregular grooves that my feet had left on the sand, and then replied back to him, after making a recap of the story i had repeatedly told myself after falling down.
“My story, is the fairy tale of a guy who makes way for the new coming of a new man; a better man for the world, while he casts disarray upon the earth: much to his dismay, at the expense of his own soul as the people who become victims of disasters, were ones who this man deemed unfair; cruel, evil, despicable in past. That was at the beginning."
"Theres a pile of corpses behind that character — even in covid time, people as close as the local priest of the small town he lived in, would break their neck after falling in the shower, as he had the slightest suspicion of their secret deeds. All clean deads for that matter. Untraceable to nothing but sheer randomness. Magic as it seeems. But were this folk truly evil people or even guilty of anything? You may ask - the man never knew it for sure, as he never had faculties such as godly omniscience to actually know it; which has taken a toll on him, as the burden of justice is an unberable one for anything but a god."
"Which leads to another point: spontaneously picturing random numbers in the head, associating them with psychological compounds by angular momentum, and actually being bang on the suspicion. Truth friend, in its stochastic presentation: it's unberable.”
“Consequential of such attempts to rationalize his own story in the eyes of people such as close family, my dude became clinically diagnosed with referenced thinking. Which are fancy words for schizophrenia. Nobody believed the story as it was uttered."
"Yet the consequences are there for everyone to see, altought not visible in their cause and effect by anybody but this guy, which lead him first into regret over ever starting his quest as a reformer; and then repent.”
“Now before he realized of this lets call it «curse», he preached for years over the internet as the disasters started to slowly creep up. He preached in a fashion parallel to Niestzches Zarathustra; Zarathustra meaning a famous philosophical device artificied by the philosopher Niestzche, who’s aim was to portray the best posible man, as something he dubbed the <<Übermensch>> ”.
“Such concept being the seemingly more elegant brand of a humanist ideal for a not so distant future: today - albeit a wrong one, for this guy was not dyonisian himself. The backbone of his framework, is analytical psycholgy becoming a chariot for a true understandment of human nature: and ultimately a facilitator for love within light: not within ignorance; not within darkness. Most philosophers today though would mock anything analytical in it's aim."
"Then on the guy preached and dwelved further into the relative hole of his own doctrine: and became imprisoned by what he didn’t got right at first attempt, making him in the process the character that Nietzsche from the comfort of his own writers seat, never attempted to actually embody within realistic means: eventually figuring out within himself the ultimate Nietzschean aristocrat: a magic pen granted by being capetian by mother: from judah by father."
"But Alas, you have no idea how common suicide is within philosophers after they finish their best work. As language, becomes the ultimate barrier for understandment, and then to ones capacity to feel love. Difference — true saliency in ones individual destiny— leads to the gravest posible pain. Ironic isn’t it?”
“Besides technical work with a new form of psychology inspired by analytical chemistry, as that drawed from his efforts during the light of day, five years ago, once he felt the urge to try to reach out to the world from a position of what he deemed was greater understandment: he primitively preached during night his new set of ideas for people to behave beyond the limitations of manipulative psychology, albeit a harsh doctrine meant to clear the way for a better product: Christ himself."
"This is not a doctrine a human being can actually perform, as such its christianity at its highest capacity to bear fruit. It’s an impossible doctrine, yet solves the oldest problem posed in the bible. All which sounds very sci-fi bullshit-y but actual problems started for the protagonist in this tale, when the preaching matched with terrible consequences. Not figurative, but within tangible reality.”
“So just as we talk, theres a small legion of hackers pretending to be doing internet social experiments while talking in an artsy matter: much in my own style, entertaining the exact same concepts - a legion of dangerous monkeys, i have no control over."
"One of the many unexpected consequences being this, yet prompted by something evil; ancient: essentially replicating what my protagonist developed and then preached over the years, while these "hacktivists" lay their attention on things and people, as they select them and enforce upon them strict surveillance, to behave properly. Then to destroy them, as they did in 2020 with many corporations and institutions.A bizarre combination of theater actors to my own liking, and then cyber-security demigods: omniscient in their claims to surveill, and they are - derivative such of another device of what I've done; which is to build a theater so people can make-believe that they are infact performing within themselves something greater - but that's matter for another story."
“Most of the corpses piling up flat out dead, have no relation to him whatsoever; they became victims as my protagonist took measures to fight back the monster he found at the foundation of the known world. This is not an elaborate analogy for one's own unseen capacity for evil, as i mean this: a monster as literally as it can be. For these things friend, im doomed as in true strenght, i have nothing but the pen i use to write down what i think albeit always at danger of it’s eventual inversion. I have no real friends left. Not one who can understand, or help bear the pain: as friendship and love are all gated by understandment."
"The full story has many more vertients, but i think i’ve done it enough justice. This is the predicament of an insane man chased by his own shadow as he builds a better man: one who delivers heavenly things, and then a shadow stringed to deliver tyranny as the very strings behind him make the better man stumble while he tries to keep a grasp of his own spirit, and then of his own soul."
"That monster behind, is wicked smart — and cannot be outwitted nor overpowered but anything but divine smite."
“I’m heading now to a new country, to try to get friends from the only institution in the world who knows and adresses the current times being, and who by extension, might believe me. And to clarify, these being the end of times; but not the end of the world. Yet now i myself have a damocles sword pending over my own head, and i need to do something about it before it falls.”
And as i said these things, i reached out to my backpack drawing a third can of beer from it — besides my own super laptop, thats what my backpack had: an infinite supply of beer. Corona, Indio, Victoria, Dos Equis, Heineken; you name it. I popped the can, and gave it a long and definite sip as i emptied it complete.
The alien didn't try to show that he understood, but stood still in silence, with his sight in the sand below and pressing lips, knowing by my demeanor; that these things as I've said them was something that I needed to do. Then he said: "I don't follow man. You say you preach and then disasters occur. Like a prophet from the bible?"
"Yes. Then I preached to get rid of the things that are actually making the world worse, and something awoke soon after, and since then; everything I do is subject to being misinterpreted due to the diffamatory action of this thing. Now everytime I do something, it can be twisted and turned against my original intent. Right now the hackers are my worst problem: I may have a degree in computers but I have no fucking idea whatsoever of hacking. I earn my living as an A.I engineer.".
The alien raised his sight to meet with mine, and after doing some contemplation on the fact, quite simply said: "You are insane". Then lowered his own sight, and raised it again to meet with the sea and continued. "If you want a tattoo, we can work that out. But either way and whatever parts of your story are true and even worse; the ones you may be lying about: you sound dangerous in a delusional kind of sense, and my life is hard enough as is."
I pressed my fists, knowing then the old same thing had happened again. For I had never forced anything upon anybody, and I was willing to respect that until the bitter end. Then I released the build up of frustration with a loud sigh, and after this amend, I replied back.
"I understand and respect it. But let me just propose you that if you ever want to figure what is beyond life as it's lived by person who has never seen what is like to be someone you write a great story about; you can pin me, and I'll show you what's beyond that door. Give it some thought."
The alien; The Black Alien Project stayed there sitting, spechless but calm, almost expecting something else to be convinced about. But pointless, for i knew that nobody can be forced into anything without bringing a transgression into play – and i wasn’t one to taint myself in sin if it could be avoided. Not anymore.
3.
I made the distance at steady pace walking along the shore, until i found a small group of pines in-between the liminal space of the beach and the land. I sat with one of the pines trunk behind my back, and drawed the Schizo Pills from my eternal supply of traveller goodies.
Quetiapine 100 mg, and Olanzapine 10 mg, i made a smaller fragment from the olanzapine pill, and swallowed both complete. As their side effects were concerned, they would soon knock me out of conscience, as this little ritual was my own way of calling the day complete – then i layed there, vigilant, waiting for my own drowsiness to claim me into sleep - but the Bird of Britan came flying from above, and stood besides me.
\Chirp, Chirp, Chirp**
I watched the bird, annoyed, as its presence had become an omen for contempt. For me and the death people of my past. I frowned upon the little shit, and said nothing. The bird made a little nod, while tilting its head in excentricity the way birds do, and replied. — Hey Andrew!, do you remember when you tried to penetrate your own computer to make a universe grow inside of it? I just wan’t to know something: did your computer moan? Did it finally learnt how to scream your name?
\Chirp Chirp**
Ignoring the bird, i closed my eyes and stayed like that for a long moment, hoping to make the bird think i was asleep. Maybe that would make him leave.
— Can’t bullshit me like that Sweetheart. So please tell me something; why don’t you command one of your supermodels; these muses, to come here and warm the bed for you. It's a cold night and you seem lonely brah
. \Chirp Chirp**
I opened my eyes, and irritated, pointed menacingly at the bird turning my left hand into an imaginary gun. I had already failed at something today, and wasn’t convinced i needed the memory of the things i failed at before. Not now.
Said nothing.
"No longer care for love unless it's between good friends”. Said to myself. There was certainly a migraine coming, but maybe my dreams would help convince it otherwise. And as far as the hoes were concerned, Furious Angels would be there for them. Like the Rob Dougan song.
4.
Found my own mind after the slumber – asleep, then awake. I realized several hours passed - at least enough to wake up and witness the sun rise above the sea. But as for dreams, the light veil of their memories wasn't something to rely upon. But i did remember something, and it was some overtone in dread; an atmosphere of fear – and a kind of dread sustained in it’s inevitability by the urgency that builds upon dearth.
Now what exactly was it though? I couldn’t remember from my dreams, but ever since i falled to my own death i had always present in mind the future succesion of events that would follow when things started to go very wrong. Iran, the U.S, Israel - now whatever was it in the news; the outcome would be the same. A thousand more cuts to an already languishing economy. Make that corpse bleed, and then fall off a cliff.
As such things would be cooked, just as the bird of britain. The bird was still there though: just in pieces and roasted like the contents of a dropped KFC bucket would. But the little shit would return - as it always did. The economy? Not so much.
Yet i digress. None of the world circumstances mattered as far i was concerned – i had built a small and portable solar system to power my laptop, and my beer supply was well, infinite - i made myself sure that i had my needs covered whatever happened around me. Not tied to even a house for that matter. I incorporated myself and gave my back a stretch. The morning breeze coming from the sea evocated in my memories some time that had long passed – late childhood. I rejected those memories as they beared with them things i didnt wan’t to remember - then wen’t on as usual in my morning routine scrolling through my instagram feed, figuring if there were any new hoes to maybe motivate me into doing my God imposed labour.
Labour which was to either write, or to finish the House of Water — then after scrolling i did in fact saw a new hoe; i dropped a Faux Pas comment. Maybe she would play along, maybe not. Whatever. Sometimes I would put in a lot of effort to do a rhyme. But the effort depended on the insta-hoe in question. I know. Not the best of habits, but back in elementary school i was the kind of kid that would only get motivation when the girls in the classroom were present in physEd. And then i would run faster: whole lotta faster. Run Forrest! Run! Women love used to fuel me; and the habit sticked — and at the moment, i was kinda done with the idea of female trascendence. Would rely on their love, but not on their validation. Not like a simp. Fuck that.
Furthermore, what results did i demonstrably mustered after pursuing true egalitarianism and sharing it? Exactly. A bitch gonna do what a bitch gonna do, and so does the human female. After publishing the comment, I locked my phone and walked towards the highway, as i was planning to pay a visit to somebody long forgotten - I had kind of a schedule that i was going to follow, before taking the plane to Madrid and become hispanic Jon Snow from the walgreens Nightwatch.
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— Hearfelt comment for an instagram witch.
Del desprecio a ese descarte, no he visto muchas cosas. Así se pasa una más para las cuentas, y aquí otro más para los versos, por qué aquí no hemos sido vistos. Cuánto más querría uno, que sino lo cuentas ni mucho menos piensas: << lo de este pibe que cosa más horrible>>, haciendo eso lamentable, por qué en decirlo nadie ha mentido. ¡Es horrible! Que cara es entonces la cuenta de lo que le sale a uno vivir sin más complejos; mejor seria cobrarmelo, para así saber que de algo ha valido. Bloqueame.
— Heartfelt comment for a random supermodel-to-be.
The Spirit of Fire
Flames begone, flames in spite: their warmth I felt - so I closed my fist until I could feel the warmth of my blood in my hand. And in dreams Fire came up to me and said: who am I? And I said unto him: you are bound to my bidding, thus your name misery will be. But fire wretched as he was, got closer and asked: and who are you?
And I said unto him that the blood of David ran through my veins, as I was his heir; for the mother of God claim me from death as a son. So Fire tried me, and figured it out.
You are son of woman —said Fire unto me— but as Fire acknowledged the name, I extended my left hand, and took Fire by the neck throwing him into the gound. — You are going to lace yourself to the right hand of the beast, and you'll keep him steady, so I can cleanly take him down. And Fire stayed down, and with his forehead kissing the ground asked unto me —why would the heir of David do so to earthly man?
And I said unto Fire that the beast from the abyss had left no mother for God, so I was to leave none of his body left for his head; as I was going to make it bleed until the end of the end of times.
The Spirit of Earth
Shapeless and without body, but keen within her many numbers, Earth came up to me in dreams, and said: who am I? And posessed in spirit as I was, I said unto her, that God had made her maiden again, and that she shall become the coins that Judas never received, which were to become the due payment of man and women for the body of Christ. Then I extended my right hand, and grabbed Earth by her hair —which descended deep into the abysses of hell— and cut it short so the demons of Lilith would no longer had her gripped by her back.
You are now a woman, and I'm going to rise you from the grounds. You'll lace yourself to the left hand of the beast, and keep it steady so with one shot I can cleanly take him down.
The Spirit of Air
A dream shaped by written words, whispered down for years by the currents of this Montain, and it's requiem witnessed but by a few — the end of dreams. But from where I standed at the peak, I called upon the distant currents that went down, and asked them: who am I?
And Air came unto me as bird, which had thousands of letters for feathers, and in the tongue of dead men answered.
"Somebody who only a few will remember by strange deeds; as the burden on your back, is a past tainted by impossible dreams. You were a lunatic giving new names to folk, and folk never bothered to remember —so your name must be freak, as you died in a forgotten shack some short time ago."
And as Air said these things upon me, I called Misery —as I had dubbed Fire — and told him to get inside my shot. The burden as Air had said, became lesser as i took the shot from my quiver. And I said upon Misery; that he was to set ablaze this arrow, as I was taking down the bird of Britain, and that I would do so, so God would give the deeds of Earth some better names.
The Lord is making a bridge between the empire of strength, and the last empire of men. Now by God's grace, I'm making the tongue of free men, the tongue of Spain. You will be eventually bound to my bidding, and if not me, it will be to the one I'm preceding; for I'm giving you twenty years to attone your wrongdoing. Alas, now because of your wretchedness, my shot on earthly men won't be clean, for his left leg won't stay steady.
Your old name was apathy, now I'm calling you Cisma, which in the tongue of dead men means schism. So now by the will of God lay unto the ground and say the words you've been teached. And as the arrow blazed forward, it's bending motion pierced the veil hiding the secret ladder of men. The bird of Britain catched on Fire, and it's hollering resounded throught the ladders of the mountain until the depths of the abyss. A column of air turned into fire, then violenty erupted from the vowels of the bird, and the wild fire spread as a storm from west to east all throughout the five kingdoms of men away from its own fiery wings, with a gift of misery and a few words to say.
"The name of your woman or the name of your man, will no longer explain their purpose to a man, a woman, or God. Charred words written by thunder will now be the new ladder of men — but until then, darkness upon thee."
The House of Water
I head into the coasts, and the beautiful beaches in-between, to find the stranger who burns images in the skin of men. He is the stranger, and has adopted the body of a monster, and he is one who cannot be understood, so he went on to only go out home in stunts, for the burdens in his heart have become too great to bear. Through terrible pains he has given all he once was for an identity, and as I pick up on his past, i found familiarity in the feelings of his heart. Oh dear friend how we found looking in sadness to ourselves, after doing same but with different means, carrying into our shoulders the loneliness of this world. As you have in-skin the garments of the strange doctrine that I preach — I shall congrate you, for you truly have fought the world entire, for my doctrine is the words of those who shall defeat the world entire.
I may not have your strangeness in-body, but I have it in these words, and in the true feelings of my heart. And I say in admiration that there's no higher form of art, philosophy or religion: than those who perform the highest thing they can give a name about.
Now even within solitude, and at odds with what old dead men call God, I see you and I found strength in you, as I can see you are within me, and in that, you are within everything as it should be - as is meant in everyone who does something that touches the heart of another man. I call this the kingdom of God. Yet blind men and women will wonder how can the kingdom of God possibly be within two outcasts such as you and me.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Upong giving my regards and waiting for response, I found my way into a bench. It was a warm afternoon, and the wind carried the water of the sea. The bird of Britain came about down from the wind of north, and layed on the bench were I was sitting.
The bird asked: why hast thou become this?
And I said back to bird, scorched he was and nearing death, that it was me someone who was supposed to give names, yet for years I couldn't figure out one for myself. Then on went to being given a name, Alas all the wrong ones. Did Adan gave himself a name? - I asked the bird back. And there was no response from bird. Then I continued.
A man has the essence of his soul retained by what he is seen doing. Yet I did things nobody saw, so my soul wasn't with God but with something just as ancient, and nonetheless unknown by men in its true nature — then Satan as the better known devil, came about and pushed me into a hole. It was my own doing. Yet the things I did, I thought were seen. But nonetheless what I did was without contemplation on a posible return. Just as somebody who prints an image on their own skin. It's permanent. This is the essence of a memory in the soul of the man who's seen by others. But in the familiarity of a man who picked every irreversible decision like the Alien, I find myself feeling sympathy, for the man is still not what he has been seen doing, he shall redeem himself by what he decides to turn himself into.
Is this a way of saying that you want to get yourself a tattoo? Get a new look? - the bird mockingly asked.
And I gave the scorched bird no answer.
Then the bird said unto me: what about your career as a prophet, uh? And the things you said about returning with substance? Do you actually think this is substance?
And i considered what the Bird said, then I negated with a movement of my own head. It is not i answered, but i find the memories of me not making sense unbearable. For those mean the memories of a fool, un pendejo, an insane person, or both. And I will always try to amend what I don't do well. But now I wish for only one thing, and it is to be remembered as someone who makes sense, and who out of that sense, made good upon the world. I don't expect anything in return for what I do now, as it is merely an outlet to keep me sane while I finish editing my work. It's clear I'm too incompetent to be a competent influencer. As for once, I don't care about influencing anyone into what I think; but to perform what I think it's important.
Then every proverbial student is free to take classes so as they see fit, and to interpret such classes as their comprehension gives them grasp of what it's said. In such regard, this is what I offer now, while I make the journey to Madrid. And the bird tilted it's head so as to observe me with his left eye, then after a long impasse, it made a loud and painful caw, and finally flew away. Soon after the bird flew, I looked upon the stars in the nascent night, and confessed to them, that it was the memories of who we were, what often stumps us into wrong beliefs of who we should be, maybe even wasting an entire lifetime retained by that which other people remembered us as being. But we are not the owners of our own names, the place we go, and our destiny. That's the biggest lie the western world of hollywood heros tell you, as in truth is collective agreement what determines what we look like doing and thus the meaning we should comfort to, recalling that names are practical mechanisms to remember the purpose of things, their meaning, and how their motion is described in the world.
But making the task of beating that collective belief, akin to the Nietzschean ideal of the camel turning into the lion, so as to transform it's spirit and become something else. But if it's the golden dragon of all the huamn values which judges you insane, will you be prepared to wrestle with the entire culture so as to have your way?
As I layed my eyes upon each star counting up to the number seventeen, I confessed of being scared of those beliefs, as revisiting the past, became a painful deed — and as I prepared to leave, I uttered one wish on the seventeenth point in the sky.
Lord please grant me strength, the way you have given my friend strenght.
2.
The night deepen, while the sea tide sang its own song of breathing. Some time passed, and then on the stranger showed himself approaching at the distance. I waved my hand at him, and after the instant, he found his way into my bench while I welcomed him with an extended fist which he casually bumped - after the short acknowledgement the dark alien looked at my face in between it's cover of dark, and looking at it undiscernable in its true features, with suspicion asked.
— What is it that you want?
I acknowledged him as a friend, then mentioned my brief research, as I had come to know him as man looking for a job, yet nobody would hire for things mundane due to his appearance. I listened closely to the news, and came to understand that this was a man looking for a second chance.Then I saw the intent behind his doing, and two words came to stick to my own thoughts. The first one was <
In analytical psychology I figured this man was the ESFP —the personality archetype related to the performer and the entertainer—, possessed in an abnormal way by the spirit by which a person submits to it's contrary nature, seeking to integrate and find fulfillment through the chase of what's perceived absent. If he was the ESFP then doing the flip by following the radial axis of each Jungian function in the stack towards their opposite resulted in the INTJ. The mastermind. The architect. The genius yet awfully complex individual. That was the elusive spirit he was chasing.
But a spirit and a character that at its most pronounced embodiment in a person, would experience life as an eternal foreigner hiding from the light of other men. Such made sense to me, for I myself was the INTJ, and had at spirit the ESFP. Him. So where as this man chased the spiritual fulfillment of being a complex and deep individual, I chased the fulfillment of becoming simpler, so I could demonstrate with action the deepest desires of my heart. One who was born plentiful in means to be liked, becomes complex, mysterious and uncomprehended, meeting one who will be seen trying to make sense becoming simpler. For Carl Jung portrayed the anima and animus of individuals, as the sense of what its absent, yet deeply cherished an valued. So I said these things to the alien, while he silently listened to me.
— All of that sounds like bullshit to me. -Said the alien after some contemplation .— Sorry but the things you say, don't mean anything to me.
And alas for I expected such response, as if one thing was true about this journey, was that explaining the journey in and of itself would become it's grimmest task. I affirmated what he just said with a slight nod of head.
— These things I say and how they relate to each other, in its excercise are similar to doing stecheometric balance with equations in the head, but simpler I'm afraid. - Then I paused, looked back into the sea, and continued. — That's high school chemistry, but I don't expect everybody to pick up on it, nor like it, nor understand it.
— Now i have called you a friend, and where I came from we dub with this title the people we share destiny with. As far as I'm concerned, we are chasing the same thing, which is the hardest posible thing. We both innately understand that we are not home, as we want our spirit to return to us, and that's not what a lot of people ever honestly try to attempt in a lifetime; as such is anyone's call to feel complete.
— And very few people ever reach true individuality, beyond the name they are imposed at birth.
Then I looked into the black alien, and in-between his foreign facial features, I interpreted something familiar. Disturbance. And I continued.
— We have given ourselves hell as we lived chasing something hard, so we can avoid the same hell later on when we are finally back to our own house. This is a christian precept, altought a rundimentary one. Does that makes sense to you?
And after listening such, the black alien calmly looked at the veil in my face in silence. Trying to discern what my face actually looked like, but the night was dark. Then turned his stare back to the reflection of the moon over the waters, giving some thought to what I just said. I opened up my backpack, and drawed two cans of beer from it. Offered one to him, and he silently refused with a gesture of hand. I popped my can and gave it a sip, while I myself stared at the tides coming in and out of the shore.
— If you wan't a tattoo, we can work that out. But this sounds annoyingly familiar, and my interest is not religious. Are you religious?
I nodded in affirmation, and complemented saying. — But my doctrine is something nobody has heard nor seen. For its aim, is doing as Christ said, in perfect means. Yet its true that the teaching fits you, as it's the teaching of the future man; and there's nothing in common between the current man and the future man, as they may very well be different species. This is the precept of evolution.
The alien seemed surprised.
— These two men don't know each other, for the current man doesn't know where the future man comes from, for he himself doesn't know where he is going. Yet in deep realization of your own artistic concept, I think you might want new ideas to meet with your appearance. So tell me, are you curious about what truly happens to a man after he dies? Do you want to learn how to read someone's mind? Do you want to blast with words of fire the hearts of an amazed crowd?
But the black alien broke his calm contemplation of what I was saying, and slighty disturbed, aggressively rebuked after hearing such.
— But you mentioned 'Christ', so you must be christian. How can a christian even say anything interesting in this current time? Last time I asked, their sayings were dreaded by restriction - so why would anyone condemn themselves to a life of bore? Are you a christian?
And I nodded after the question, in silence. Admittedly, for I knew what the problem was with being what I was, and my new companion was bang on identifying it. Made a pause, then raised my sight to where it met with the sky and the stars in it, and I said back to him.
— I am, but not one of a type you have ever seen, for the Christ that comes, is a Christ of art.
2.
The riptide sang, in its secret dialect of earth and sea. I looked upon the coast, turned an eye blind, and saw the ocean as the scorpio, and the land as the taurus; as it was the struggle between two lovers, never meant to consume each other. Ideal love then - yet not to confuse with this partnership as it was whimsilcally tied by the means in which i arranged my current conversation; for my lady somewhere waited for me. Then i allowed my eyes to rest still.
The alien looked upon me, undiscernable in my intentions, and again figured for himself that my interest towards him wasn’t clear. In suspicion, and after the moment he collected his thoughts asked “In your weird words you dubbed me performer, so what is it exactly that you wan’t from me. To me it seems like you are gathering people for some form of religious clown show. When you forced this meeting upon me, was this a proposal you thought i would find amusement in?”. And after the statement my own stare wandered in my conversation partner. While as he had his say, i returned to my can of beer, and finished it with a long gulp. Tempered in an unwillingness to fall to my new found friend irritation, i said within my own thoughts: “The alien looks easy going, but he is barbed in wit”.
Then i opened the can of beer that the stranger rejected; the loud pop resounded in the relative silence, interrupting for a moment the steady chorus of the sea. Gave it a long sip, and said.
– Theres no proposal in place yet. But im certain of something, and that is that both of us are messed individuals which reached the bottom doing the same thing - but the way my understandment of the human soul goes: two people can act by mere interaction as reactives to each other, creating a new chemical compound after the fact.
– This new psychology is very much like chemistry. But it is not my intention to draw you into something, but to pull myself out of this «something» by doing right on another person and maybe that person reflecting the good back on me. I just need a conversation partner, thats all. And i will do this with you, and with many people more. Presidents included.
The alien reflected on it, and after the hiatus of a long standing position of suspicion he finally gave in, and eased up with a slight smile. A strange smile of relief. But the smile, was all too familiar for me, as i realized the man was a tortured individual: a person in long standing pain. I smiled back the way he did, and continued.
– Our pain has a common name, and is a name that can be written with words unfortunately. It’s the devilish mother of all spiritual ills and its foundation, rests at the concept of a past that wasnt solved. It’s called «inadequeacy», and for people like you and me, understanding one day that such inadecuacy had to be solved by our own means, lead us into an act where our name changed as the changes in our cover up act to solve our inadequacy did.
– We never honored the past or the present in our pursuit, as we desired in passion to find solution to the present, by matching it into the idealization of some future without ever realizing that the old or present essence of ones being would be crushed into non existance by said future.
– Then we found the realization of that new name, only to understand that its demands became a tyranny on the other faces of our soul: as our soul is not something that can be undestood in unity, but something that conceives in the beginning in multiple things which try to give shape to one thing. Theres many people in a village, and our minds, are no exception.
— But happiness is only achieved by those who have their soul entire - or those who are the same person regardless of the context and scenario. And we gave to much to somebody that wasn't us, as our spirit took possession and lead us down.
– This is this the essence by which someone goes to hell, only to do one thing over again, getting an ever lasting pain for all the things that were given up chasing that which was absent. The more someone is forced into being shaped by the thing that was concevied in lust, the more the individual misses the place they used to call home, for that is no longer within ones reach. Does this makes sense to you?
The alien left me with no answer, and as he contemplated the sea, a tear travelled through his strange face.
– In this state of anguish, affliction rarely ever feels company, as the very individual condition that was pursued, became a full suit and persona to be forced upon and wear. Hell, is one lonely place man because we only learn to speak a language, that only makes sense to ourselves. But i think we can find a way out of it. This is why I'm here.
“Look, what you’ve done, it’s not something i can see the way you can see my own doing on me.” The alien replied. “Besides the way in which i canno’t see your face in this night, you seem ordinary — but what you talk and the way you say it, evokes in every word regret. What is it that you’ve done that has you regret like this?”
As the alien finished speaking, I emptied the can of beer, layed my eyes on the irregular grooves that my feet had left on the sand, and then replied back to him, after making a recap of the story i had repeatedly told myself after falling down.
“My story, is the fairy tale of a guy who makes way for the new coming of a new man; a better man for the world, while he casts disarray upon the earth: much to his dismay, at the expense of his own soul as the people who become victims of disasters, were ones who this man deemed unfair; cruel, evil, despicable in past. That was at the beginning."
"Theres a pile of corpses behind that character — even in covid time, people as close as the local priest of the small town he lived in, would break their neck after falling in the shower, as he had the slightest suspicion of their secret deeds. All clean deads for that matter. Untraceable to nothing but sheer randomness. Magic as it seeems. But were this folk truly evil people or even guilty of anything? You may ask - the man never knew it for sure, as he never had faculties such as godly omniscience to actually know it; which has taken a toll on him, as the burden of justice is an unberable one for anything but a god."
"Which leads to another point: spontaneously picturing random numbers in the head, associating them with psychological compounds by angular momentum, and actually being bang on the suspicion. Truth friend, in its stochastic presentation: it's unberable.”
“Consequential of such attempts to rationalize his own story in the eyes of people such as close family, my dude became clinically diagnosed with referenced thinking. Which are fancy words for schizophrenia. Nobody believed the story as it was uttered."
"Yet the consequences are there for everyone to see, altought not visible in their cause and effect by anybody but this guy, which lead him first into regret over ever starting his quest as a reformer; and then repent.”
“Now before he realized of this lets call it «curse», he preached for years over the internet as the disasters started to slowly creep up. He preached in a fashion parallel to Niestzches Zarathustra; Zarathustra meaning a famous philosophical device artificied by the philosopher Niestzche, who’s aim was to portray the best posible man, as something he dubbed the <<Übermensch>> ”.
“Such concept being the seemingly more elegant brand of a humanist ideal for a not so distant future: today - albeit a wrong one, for this guy was not dyonisian himself. The backbone of his framework, is analytical psycholgy becoming a chariot for a true understandment of human nature: and ultimately a facilitator for love within light: not within ignorance; not within darkness. Most philosophers today though would mock anything analytical in it's aim."
"Then on the guy preached and dwelved further into the relative hole of his own doctrine: and became imprisoned by what he didn’t got right at first attempt, making him in the process the character that Nietzsche from the comfort of his own writers seat, never attempted to actually embody within realistic means: eventually figuring out within himself the ultimate Nietzschean aristocrat: a magic pen granted by being capetian by mother: from judah by father."
"But Alas, you have no idea how common suicide is within philosophers after they finish their best work. As language, becomes the ultimate barrier for understandment, and then to ones capacity to feel love. Difference — true saliency in ones individual destiny— leads to the gravest posible pain. Ironic isn’t it?”
“Besides technical work with a new form of psychology inspired by analytical chemistry, as that drawed from his efforts during the light of day, five years ago, once he felt the urge to try to reach out to the world from a position of what he deemed was greater understandment: he primitively preached during night his new set of ideas for people to behave beyond the limitations of manipulative psychology, albeit a harsh doctrine meant to clear the way for a better product: Christ himself."
"This is not a doctrine a human being can actually perform, as such its christianity at its highest capacity to bear fruit. It’s an impossible doctrine, yet solves the oldest problem posed in the bible. All which sounds very sci-fi bullshit-y but actual problems started for the protagonist in this tale, when the preaching matched with terrible consequences. Not figurative, but within tangible reality.”
“So just as we talk, theres a small legion of hackers pretending to be doing internet social experiments while talking in an artsy matter: much in my own style, entertaining the exact same concepts - a legion of dangerous monkeys, i have no control over."
"One of the many unexpected consequences being this, yet prompted by something evil; ancient: essentially replicating what my protagonist developed and then preached over the years, while these "hacktivists" lay their attention on things and people, as they select them and enforce upon them strict surveillance, to behave properly. Then to destroy them, as they did in 2020 with many corporations and institutions.A bizarre combination of theater actors to my own liking, and then cyber-security demigods: omniscient in their claims to surveill, and they are - derivative such of another device of what I've done; which is to build a theater so people can make-believe that they are infact performing within themselves something greater - but that's matter for another story."
“Most of the corpses piling up flat out dead, have no relation to him whatsoever; they became victims as my protagonist took measures to fight back the monster he found at the foundation of the known world. This is not an elaborate analogy for one's own unseen capacity for evil, as i mean this: a monster as literally as it can be. For these things friend, im doomed as in true strenght, i have nothing but the pen i use to write down what i think albeit always at danger of it’s eventual inversion. I have no real friends left. Not one who can understand, or help bear the pain: as friendship and love are all gated by understandment."
"The full story has many more vertients, but i think i’ve done it enough justice. This is the predicament of an insane man chased by his own shadow as he builds a better man: one who delivers heavenly things, and then a shadow stringed to deliver tyranny as the very strings behind him make the better man stumble while he tries to keep a grasp of his own spirit, and then of his own soul."
"That monster behind, is wicked smart — and cannot be outwitted nor overpowered but anything but divine smite."
“I’m heading now to a new country, to try to get friends from the only institution in the world who knows and adresses the current times being, and who by extension, might believe me. And to clarify, these being the end of times; but not the end of the world. Yet now i myself have a damocles sword pending over my own head, and i need to do something about it before it falls.”
And as i said these things, i reached out to my backpack drawing a third can of beer from it — besides my own super laptop, thats what my backpack had: an infinite supply of beer. Corona, Indio, Victoria, Dos Equis, Heineken; you name it. I popped the can, and gave it a long and definite sip as i emptied it complete.
The alien didn't try to show that he understood, but stood still in silence, with his sight in the sand below and pressing lips, knowing by my demeanor; that these things as I've said them was something that I needed to do. Then he said: "I don't follow man. You say you preach and then disasters occur. Like a prophet from the bible?"
"Yes. Then I preached to get rid of the things that are actually making the world worse, and something awoke soon after, and since then; everything I do is subject to being misinterpreted due to the diffamatory action of this thing. Now everytime I do something, it can be twisted and turned against my original intent. Right now the hackers are my worst problem: I may have a degree in computers but I have no fucking idea whatsoever of hacking. I earn my living as an A.I engineer.".
The alien raised his sight to meet with mine, and after doing some contemplation on the fact, quite simply said: "You are insane". Then lowered his own sight, and raised it again to meet with the sea and continued. "If you want a tattoo, we can work that out. But either way and whatever parts of your story are true and even worse; the ones you may be lying about: you sound dangerous in a delusional kind of sense, and my life is hard enough as is."
I pressed my fists, knowing then the old same thing had happened again. For I had never forced anything upon anybody, and I was willing to respect that until the bitter end. Then I released the build up of frustration with a loud sigh, and after this amend, I replied back.
"I understand and respect it. But let me just propose you that if you ever want to figure what is beyond life as it's lived by person who has never seen what is like to be someone you write a great story about; you can pin me, and I'll show you what's beyond that door. Give it some thought."
The alien; The Black Alien Project stayed there sitting, spechless but calm, almost expecting something else to be convinced about. But pointless, for i knew that nobody can be forced into anything without bringing a transgression into play – and i wasn’t one to taint myself in sin if it could be avoided. Not anymore.
3.
I made the distance at steady pace walking along the shore, until i found a small group of pines in-between the liminal space of the beach and the land. I sat with one of the pines trunk behind my back, and drawed the Schizo Pills from my eternal supply of traveller goodies.
Quetiapine 100 mg, and Olanzapine 10 mg, i made a smaller fragment from the olanzapine pill, and swallowed both complete. As their side effects were concerned, they would soon knock me out of conscience, as this little ritual was my own way of calling the day complete – then i layed there, vigilant, waiting for my own drowsiness to claim me into sleep - but the Bird of Britan came flying from above, and stood besides me.
\Chirp, Chirp, Chirp**
I watched the bird, annoyed, as its presence had become an omen for contempt. For me and the death people of my past. I frowned upon the little shit, and said nothing. The bird made a little nod, while tilting its head in excentricity the way birds do, and replied. — Hey Andrew!, do you remember when you tried to penetrate your own computer to make a universe grow inside of it? I just wan’t to know something: did your computer moan? Did it finally learnt how to scream your name?
\Chirp Chirp**
Ignoring the bird, i closed my eyes and stayed like that for a long moment, hoping to make the bird think i was asleep. Maybe that would make him leave.
— Can’t bullshit me like that Sweetheart. So please tell me something; why don’t you command one of your supermodels; these muses, to come here and warm the bed for you. It's a cold night and you seem lonely brah
. \Chirp Chirp**
I opened my eyes, and irritated, pointed menacingly at the bird turning my left hand into an imaginary gun. I had already failed at something today, and wasn’t convinced i needed the memory of the things i failed at before. Not now.
- Hol’ up cowboy ! you wan’t to bang my bird ass when you should be banging a bitch ass. What happened with Tyrone huckleberry? Did you managed to make him as impotent as you are right now? —I held steady my hand; and tired, the tempation to pull again the trigger on the bird was growing larger. I saw red roses in my own sight, making a terrible omen for a migraine forthcoming. Said nothing.
Said nothing.
- Alright cowboy, i will give meaning to that revelations verse. What was it? Ah yes. Revelations 9:6. Every single person with an internet history will be as paranoid as you were in 2020. Everyone will be diffamated into acts of political terrorism! Aren’t you am-
"No longer care for love unless it's between good friends”. Said to myself. There was certainly a migraine coming, but maybe my dreams would help convince it otherwise. And as far as the hoes were concerned, Furious Angels would be there for them. Like the Rob Dougan song.
4.
Found my own mind after the slumber – asleep, then awake. I realized several hours passed - at least enough to wake up and witness the sun rise above the sea. But as for dreams, the light veil of their memories wasn't something to rely upon. But i did remember something, and it was some overtone in dread; an atmosphere of fear – and a kind of dread sustained in it’s inevitability by the urgency that builds upon dearth.
Now what exactly was it though? I couldn’t remember from my dreams, but ever since i falled to my own death i had always present in mind the future succesion of events that would follow when things started to go very wrong. Iran, the U.S, Israel - now whatever was it in the news; the outcome would be the same. A thousand more cuts to an already languishing economy. Make that corpse bleed, and then fall off a cliff.
As such things would be cooked, just as the bird of britain. The bird was still there though: just in pieces and roasted like the contents of a dropped KFC bucket would. But the little shit would return - as it always did. The economy? Not so much.
Yet i digress. None of the world circumstances mattered as far i was concerned – i had built a small and portable solar system to power my laptop, and my beer supply was well, infinite - i made myself sure that i had my needs covered whatever happened around me. Not tied to even a house for that matter. I incorporated myself and gave my back a stretch. The morning breeze coming from the sea evocated in my memories some time that had long passed – late childhood. I rejected those memories as they beared with them things i didnt wan’t to remember - then wen’t on as usual in my morning routine scrolling through my instagram feed, figuring if there were any new hoes to maybe motivate me into doing my God imposed labour.
Labour which was to either write, or to finish the House of Water — then after scrolling i did in fact saw a new hoe; i dropped a Faux Pas comment. Maybe she would play along, maybe not. Whatever. Sometimes I would put in a lot of effort to do a rhyme. But the effort depended on the insta-hoe in question. I know. Not the best of habits, but back in elementary school i was the kind of kid that would only get motivation when the girls in the classroom were present in physEd. And then i would run faster: whole lotta faster. Run Forrest! Run! Women love used to fuel me; and the habit sticked — and at the moment, i was kinda done with the idea of female trascendence. Would rely on their love, but not on their validation. Not like a simp. Fuck that.
Furthermore, what results did i demonstrably mustered after pursuing true egalitarianism and sharing it? Exactly. A bitch gonna do what a bitch gonna do, and so does the human female. After publishing the comment, I locked my phone and walked towards the highway, as i was planning to pay a visit to somebody long forgotten - I had kind of a schedule that i was going to follow, before taking the plane to Madrid and become hispanic Jon Snow from the walgreens Nightwatch.
2024.05.15 22:28 hiraeth__0 12 year old is having a lot of issues with appropriate behavior online.
Well... as the title says. My son is 12 years old and I am at a complete loss.
These issues have been going on for 2 years.
He managed to get around parental controls to download discord by getting into my email and approving the download/deleting evidence. I had stopped checking his phone because I thought I had everything ironclad this time. There are multiple conversations between him and other people. I am certain one of these people is an adult, while the other one is a teenager. The three others spoke like they were trying too hard to be child-like, so I deduce they were also adults.
Extremely graphic, inappropriate conversations were had. Images were exchanged as well, either of themselves or of furries.
I want to take his phone completely away because what I am currently doing is not working. What I have been doing for the past 2 years is clearly not working. Every single time he has his device back, something like this happens. I have had the conversation with him millions of times. I've had him watch internet safety videos. I've explained all the dangers, both physical, mental, and emotional. I understand that children of today's world are being raised in the true age of technology, where it is exceedingly difficult to prevent their access without it taking an emotional/mental toll. This is because children, much like adults, are addicted to the great internet.
Today, he told me he went to bed at 8pm because he was so tired. When I looked at his phone, he was awake until 3am on a NSFW voice channel with the teen. I'm disturbed by this and he simply will not stop. The lies were easy to believe and that bothers me, too.
I only checked his phone today because he was talking to me about various guns and I was confused as to where that was coming from. I also discovered he was using Roblox (which is a known no) as a way to meet other furries and have interactions with them. It is mostly boys/men.
Would I be an absolute asshole if I just did not give him his phone back? Reset and pocket it?
(When I tell you we went through this in great detail, I mean I made a PowerPoint presentation. I made an interactive worksheet for him. I went through and found the best, most informative, easy to digest videos that help children understand internet safety. I have spent 2 years teaching my own seminar on internet safety, internet etiquette, and so on. I was as thorough and vigilant as I possibly could be. I did everything I possibly could and it did not work. Not sure how to navigate this moving forward as I have covered all the bases.)
& I feel it would be too much trouble to change my password routinely to prevent this from happening again. My daughter talks to her grandparents & aunts using my devices, and my partner also uses my devices on a day to day basis. It isn't a feasible option. I don't know what to do. I don't want to be mean/restrict him but at this point, idk what else to do. Sorry this is a long post. I am trying to make this all make sense. My reaction to the entire thing was: "Go sit down and read a book until I'm ready to talk to you." So that is what he is currently doing. I have a hard time reacting in the moment because I have to sit and process before determining the right response. Right now, I struggle (autism).
If this post is removed, can anyone tell me where do I even go to ask for advice? I know that I'm a parent and I should figure everything out on my own. I've been doing that; I just feel really lost.
submitted by hiraeth__0 to Parenting [link] [comments]
These issues have been going on for 2 years.
He managed to get around parental controls to download discord by getting into my email and approving the download/deleting evidence. I had stopped checking his phone because I thought I had everything ironclad this time. There are multiple conversations between him and other people. I am certain one of these people is an adult, while the other one is a teenager. The three others spoke like they were trying too hard to be child-like, so I deduce they were also adults.
Extremely graphic, inappropriate conversations were had. Images were exchanged as well, either of themselves or of furries.
I want to take his phone completely away because what I am currently doing is not working. What I have been doing for the past 2 years is clearly not working. Every single time he has his device back, something like this happens. I have had the conversation with him millions of times. I've had him watch internet safety videos. I've explained all the dangers, both physical, mental, and emotional. I understand that children of today's world are being raised in the true age of technology, where it is exceedingly difficult to prevent their access without it taking an emotional/mental toll. This is because children, much like adults, are addicted to the great internet.
Today, he told me he went to bed at 8pm because he was so tired. When I looked at his phone, he was awake until 3am on a NSFW voice channel with the teen. I'm disturbed by this and he simply will not stop. The lies were easy to believe and that bothers me, too.
I only checked his phone today because he was talking to me about various guns and I was confused as to where that was coming from. I also discovered he was using Roblox (which is a known no) as a way to meet other furries and have interactions with them. It is mostly boys/men.
Would I be an absolute asshole if I just did not give him his phone back? Reset and pocket it?
(When I tell you we went through this in great detail, I mean I made a PowerPoint presentation. I made an interactive worksheet for him. I went through and found the best, most informative, easy to digest videos that help children understand internet safety. I have spent 2 years teaching my own seminar on internet safety, internet etiquette, and so on. I was as thorough and vigilant as I possibly could be. I did everything I possibly could and it did not work. Not sure how to navigate this moving forward as I have covered all the bases.)
& I feel it would be too much trouble to change my password routinely to prevent this from happening again. My daughter talks to her grandparents & aunts using my devices, and my partner also uses my devices on a day to day basis. It isn't a feasible option. I don't know what to do. I don't want to be mean/restrict him but at this point, idk what else to do. Sorry this is a long post. I am trying to make this all make sense. My reaction to the entire thing was: "Go sit down and read a book until I'm ready to talk to you." So that is what he is currently doing. I have a hard time reacting in the moment because I have to sit and process before determining the right response. Right now, I struggle (autism).
If this post is removed, can anyone tell me where do I even go to ask for advice? I know that I'm a parent and I should figure everything out on my own. I've been doing that; I just feel really lost.
2024.05.15 21:27 SphinxBear Should I keep daughter in home daycare?
We recently decided to relocate back to our hometown for a bunch of personal reasons, including a (very treatable) cancer diagnosis for my husband. We had a short period to find childcare and with daycare waitlists the way they are, we wound up finding a home daycare for our 1.5 year old. It’s licensed, has 12 kids and 3 caregivers (one has a child development degree), had good reviews, and it’s very clean and spacious and I liked that they have a daily routine including outdoor and music time.
She has been attending for 3 weeks and we’re really happy with it. She warmed up quickly and seems happy to go. Everyone is warm and friendly and they serve her balanced, nutritious daily meals and send us lots of photos and videos.
There’s not a problem per se but we are living with my parents while we look for a house here and I always intended on finding something more “formal” when we settled on a neighborhood where we’ll be long-term and getting on a wait list. She has had a nanny up until now so I really don’t even know what I thought I’d be looking for but I pictured her in some sort of Montessori program and one where she’d move up into different classrooms as she aged and then keeping her there until at least preschool. Now I feel like she’s so happy and we’re really happy and maybe she should stay? I think the fact that we found this daycare so easily with very little research is what’s throwing me off but I don’t want to make things hard just for the sake of them being hard. I just want her to have the best start but she is developing very well (already talking, counting, climbing, etc.)
submitted by SphinxBear to workingmoms [link] [comments]
She has been attending for 3 weeks and we’re really happy with it. She warmed up quickly and seems happy to go. Everyone is warm and friendly and they serve her balanced, nutritious daily meals and send us lots of photos and videos.
There’s not a problem per se but we are living with my parents while we look for a house here and I always intended on finding something more “formal” when we settled on a neighborhood where we’ll be long-term and getting on a wait list. She has had a nanny up until now so I really don’t even know what I thought I’d be looking for but I pictured her in some sort of Montessori program and one where she’d move up into different classrooms as she aged and then keeping her there until at least preschool. Now I feel like she’s so happy and we’re really happy and maybe she should stay? I think the fact that we found this daycare so easily with very little research is what’s throwing me off but I don’t want to make things hard just for the sake of them being hard. I just want her to have the best start but she is developing very well (already talking, counting, climbing, etc.)
2024.05.15 20:40 ineedsleep0808 Tantrums with just mom?
Hello. I am struggling with my five year old son. For some context, I am recently diagnosed with ADHD so I am medicated and in therapy.
My son just turned five in April. He is in his second year of preschool. We started him in preschool at the age of three because he needed speech therapy. He is in a classroom with a mix of model students along with students who need extra support. He receives speech therapy once a week. He does have a teacher in there who is an intervention teacher.
We had parent/teacher conferences back in February and we received nothing but glowing reports about our son. I spoke again with the intervention teacher because I am having such a difficult time with my son at home and I even asked her if she sees any signs of ADHD. She reports that she doesn’t see anything.
With me, the mom, he is very defiant. He does not listen. He throws fits all day long. He constantly antagonizes his younger sister to the point where she is constantly whining and crying. It’s getting to the point where I don’t want to be around him.
I have talked to the intervention teacher regarding his behavior and she suggested making a chart of what he should expect every morning and what to expect after school. I have made the chart for after school and his behavior after school has improved. I should note he goes to preschool in the afternoon so our mornings are free. The thing is, each morning is going to be a little different because there are mornings where we will go to the grocery or go to the park or just hang out at home.
Today was a hang out at home kind of morning. My daughter was still sleeping and my son was up watching tv. I took the opportunity to take a shower and finally wash my hair. My son was talking about how this one kid in his class has this certain kind of pokemon card and how he wanted one just like it. I said maybe you can ask him where he got it from and my son said he didn’t want to ask him and got upset and how he wanted to go to Target and buy pokemon cards. I was calm and explained to him that we aren’t going to buy any pokemon cards and I gave him a hug and he let me hug for quite awhile. He asked again about buying pokemon cards and I had to say no again and then he proceeded to threaten me that if I don’t buy him pokemon cards that he was going to yell and scream to wake up his sister and while he was saying this he was actually starting to yell louder and louder to wake her up. At the same time while he was throwing this fit, for some insane reason, he pulls down his pants to expose himself. After I had remained calm for so long, I would say about ten minutes, I finally snapped. I yelled about what he was doing was inappropriate. Of course he cried and I had to walk away because I was furious. All I wanted to do wash to shower and wash my hair and I couldn’t even do that without some kind of tantrum.
There was just last week where we had a zoo date with some friends and he wanted to ride the carousel but we were running out of time so I said next time we can ride it. He got upset of course and was constantly trying to put the break on the stroller while I was walking. I finally had to wave my friend on and said I needed to sit down and talk to my son. We had a talk and my son was able to calm down after a while. While we were leaving and while we were in the parking lot my son said he hopes I get hit by a car. I was flabbergasted that he would even say something like this.
Another time I was driving to get ice cream and had to make a detour to another ice cream place and he got upset and took his shoe off and threw it at me while I was driving.
Typing this out makes it look like I’m the one who has a hard time controlling him but there are things I just have to do- shower, feed and make food for everyone, get dressed, clean up, etc where I don’t have time to police him. Lately he has been threatening me with if you don’t let me have this then I’m going to get a popsicle or something he knows he’s not allowed to have at that time.
The thing is, my husband doesn’t think he has ADHD. He thinks he is being a normal kid and says if there was an issue that the teachers would have said something. My husband knows the shenanigans that goes down because I will text him over and over about it.
I have calm down areas on each level of our house. I have pictures of things to do to calm down that the teacher has sent home. With me, I have to pick him up or forcibly walk my son to the calm down area and he knows what to do bc they practice those things at school and is familiar with the pictures I posted up.
He does not act this bad for my husband. He does push the boundaries with him but he isn’t as defiant.
I have mentioned ADHD to the pediatrician and they said to wait til he’s six or seven years old or when he starts having trouble academically or socially.
I am starting a parenting group through a local hospital that specializes in ADHD but that doesn’t begin until June.
I feel like my son unmasks in front of me and puts on a mask in front of my husband and teachers. I know my son is comfortable with me, I am his mom but it doesn’t take away from the exhaustion. I used to miss my son while he was away at school even though it was a few hours but now I dread him coming home. This is going to be a long summer without the help of school.
If you made it this far, thanks for reading.
submitted by ineedsleep0808 to ADHDparenting [link] [comments]
My son just turned five in April. He is in his second year of preschool. We started him in preschool at the age of three because he needed speech therapy. He is in a classroom with a mix of model students along with students who need extra support. He receives speech therapy once a week. He does have a teacher in there who is an intervention teacher.
We had parent/teacher conferences back in February and we received nothing but glowing reports about our son. I spoke again with the intervention teacher because I am having such a difficult time with my son at home and I even asked her if she sees any signs of ADHD. She reports that she doesn’t see anything.
With me, the mom, he is very defiant. He does not listen. He throws fits all day long. He constantly antagonizes his younger sister to the point where she is constantly whining and crying. It’s getting to the point where I don’t want to be around him.
I have talked to the intervention teacher regarding his behavior and she suggested making a chart of what he should expect every morning and what to expect after school. I have made the chart for after school and his behavior after school has improved. I should note he goes to preschool in the afternoon so our mornings are free. The thing is, each morning is going to be a little different because there are mornings where we will go to the grocery or go to the park or just hang out at home.
Today was a hang out at home kind of morning. My daughter was still sleeping and my son was up watching tv. I took the opportunity to take a shower and finally wash my hair. My son was talking about how this one kid in his class has this certain kind of pokemon card and how he wanted one just like it. I said maybe you can ask him where he got it from and my son said he didn’t want to ask him and got upset and how he wanted to go to Target and buy pokemon cards. I was calm and explained to him that we aren’t going to buy any pokemon cards and I gave him a hug and he let me hug for quite awhile. He asked again about buying pokemon cards and I had to say no again and then he proceeded to threaten me that if I don’t buy him pokemon cards that he was going to yell and scream to wake up his sister and while he was saying this he was actually starting to yell louder and louder to wake her up. At the same time while he was throwing this fit, for some insane reason, he pulls down his pants to expose himself. After I had remained calm for so long, I would say about ten minutes, I finally snapped. I yelled about what he was doing was inappropriate. Of course he cried and I had to walk away because I was furious. All I wanted to do wash to shower and wash my hair and I couldn’t even do that without some kind of tantrum.
There was just last week where we had a zoo date with some friends and he wanted to ride the carousel but we were running out of time so I said next time we can ride it. He got upset of course and was constantly trying to put the break on the stroller while I was walking. I finally had to wave my friend on and said I needed to sit down and talk to my son. We had a talk and my son was able to calm down after a while. While we were leaving and while we were in the parking lot my son said he hopes I get hit by a car. I was flabbergasted that he would even say something like this.
Another time I was driving to get ice cream and had to make a detour to another ice cream place and he got upset and took his shoe off and threw it at me while I was driving.
Typing this out makes it look like I’m the one who has a hard time controlling him but there are things I just have to do- shower, feed and make food for everyone, get dressed, clean up, etc where I don’t have time to police him. Lately he has been threatening me with if you don’t let me have this then I’m going to get a popsicle or something he knows he’s not allowed to have at that time.
The thing is, my husband doesn’t think he has ADHD. He thinks he is being a normal kid and says if there was an issue that the teachers would have said something. My husband knows the shenanigans that goes down because I will text him over and over about it.
I have calm down areas on each level of our house. I have pictures of things to do to calm down that the teacher has sent home. With me, I have to pick him up or forcibly walk my son to the calm down area and he knows what to do bc they practice those things at school and is familiar with the pictures I posted up.
He does not act this bad for my husband. He does push the boundaries with him but he isn’t as defiant.
I have mentioned ADHD to the pediatrician and they said to wait til he’s six or seven years old or when he starts having trouble academically or socially.
I am starting a parenting group through a local hospital that specializes in ADHD but that doesn’t begin until June.
I feel like my son unmasks in front of me and puts on a mask in front of my husband and teachers. I know my son is comfortable with me, I am his mom but it doesn’t take away from the exhaustion. I used to miss my son while he was away at school even though it was a few hours but now I dread him coming home. This is going to be a long summer without the help of school.
If you made it this far, thanks for reading.
2024.05.15 19:17 ObjectiveEagle2926 Name Change/Name Correction in NYC
Hello everyone,
So I've collected all of my documents at this point and everything lines up very well. I'm super-excited to bring this process to a close (I've been collecting documents for 2+ years), but one final thing is concerning.
My Grandmother's birth record from NYC lists her as "Baby *insert last name*". In addition, her father's name is misspelled. (Minor Anglicization and a minor vowel misspelling)
I know that this isn't an incredibly uncommon problem, but I'm wondering how easy it is to fix, or even if I need to. I am applying at a consulate that doesn't have a lot of applicants, so the rules about what they will accept are pretty nebulous. My lawyers/agency suggests that I try applying with a copy of her birth certificate and a certified baptism record. I would like to change it, however, not just for my application, but because I have other relatives who may like to apply in the future, and I'd like the matter to be resolved once and for all, particularly given that they would be applying in several consular jurisdictions.
I have checked the NYC website and I can't figure out whether it would fall under a "name change," which would require a court order, or a name correction would could be done without going through a court.
In addition, the document we would provide (if it were a simple correction) would be her baptism record. However, it states on the website that her baptism records must be "more than 10 years old." The documents themselves are from last year, but they obviously refer to her baptism from many years prior. Would this sort of document qualify for her name correction?
And finally, to complicate matters further, my Grandmother did actually file for a legal name change several years ago precisely because of this problem when she was applying for a passport. However, my lawyers have stated that this document is "not in a format suitable" to change her name in NYC. I have asked for their reasoning, but I don't quite understand it. They state that the biggest reason is that it is hard to prove it is actually her, and in addition there are two other problems:
However, if this is some long and drawn-out process, then I'd rather apply at the consulate and try and fix the problem later with "homework," if I am provided some or even return once the issue has been ironed out. (I don't anticipate a particularly long wait time in getting an appointment where I live.)
EDIT: In addition, I was also wondering how long it would take to actually get a copy of her birth certificate after her name and her father's name were corrected? Do they send out a new copy automatically?
submitted by ObjectiveEagle2926 to juresanguinis [link] [comments]
So I've collected all of my documents at this point and everything lines up very well. I'm super-excited to bring this process to a close (I've been collecting documents for 2+ years), but one final thing is concerning.
My Grandmother's birth record from NYC lists her as "Baby *insert last name*". In addition, her father's name is misspelled. (Minor Anglicization and a minor vowel misspelling)
I know that this isn't an incredibly uncommon problem, but I'm wondering how easy it is to fix, or even if I need to. I am applying at a consulate that doesn't have a lot of applicants, so the rules about what they will accept are pretty nebulous. My lawyers/agency suggests that I try applying with a copy of her birth certificate and a certified baptism record. I would like to change it, however, not just for my application, but because I have other relatives who may like to apply in the future, and I'd like the matter to be resolved once and for all, particularly given that they would be applying in several consular jurisdictions.
I have checked the NYC website and I can't figure out whether it would fall under a "name change," which would require a court order, or a name correction would could be done without going through a court.
In addition, the document we would provide (if it were a simple correction) would be her baptism record. However, it states on the website that her baptism records must be "more than 10 years old." The documents themselves are from last year, but they obviously refer to her baptism from many years prior. Would this sort of document qualify for her name correction?
And finally, to complicate matters further, my Grandmother did actually file for a legal name change several years ago precisely because of this problem when she was applying for a passport. However, my lawyers have stated that this document is "not in a format suitable" to change her name in NYC. I have asked for their reasoning, but I don't quite understand it. They state that the biggest reason is that it is hard to prove it is actually her, and in addition there are two other problems:
- Instead of her full middle name, the court document establishing her "name change" only has a middle initial.
- The court document establishes a name change from the "baby *insert last name*" to her married name, rather than her maiden name.
However, if this is some long and drawn-out process, then I'd rather apply at the consulate and try and fix the problem later with "homework," if I am provided some or even return once the issue has been ironed out. (I don't anticipate a particularly long wait time in getting an appointment where I live.)
EDIT: In addition, I was also wondering how long it would take to actually get a copy of her birth certificate after her name and her father's name were corrected? Do they send out a new copy automatically?
2024.05.15 19:00 Commander_Z Cyborg #59 - Test of Strength
Cyborg #59 - Test of Strength
<< < >Author: Commander_Z
Book: Cyborg
Arc: Machine Mayhem
Set: 96
Victor Stone, Donna Morris and Keiji Otari worked together to create a robot called Atlas to participate in the collegiate Machine Mayhem tournament, a robot fighting competition. The humanoid robot easily crushed its competition in the first round but disappeared overnight before the second round. His three creators split up to track him down, with Keiji finding the machine in a back alley a little ways away from the stadium...
Keiji stood before the massive figure, blinking, trying to focus his mind. He had had many late nights and early mornings over the past couple weeks, so Keiji figured he was still sleeping. Or hallucinating. Or both, somehow. But, the voice rang out, its clearest yet, “No.” ‘Clear’ was a very generous and relative term, though. The noise wasn’t modulating through a speaker or a voice box, instead Atlas was making his own speaker by vibrating the motors and joints that allowed him to move.
The alley that Keiji found Atlas in was less than an ideal to make changes to a robot, but Keiji figured that Atlas would be understanding considering the circumstances. He pulled out an old bluetooth speaker out of his backpack and gestured towards Atlas with it.
“This’ll help you. No more grinding gears to talk. Just got to trust me for a few minutes, okay?”
Atlas stood still for a few moments, whether he was thinking or just unsure how to make a positive affirmation with his joints, Keiji couldn’t know. But, after awhile, he responded.
“Yes.”
Keiji set his backpack on the ground in the gross alley, making a mental note that he’d have to clean that later and got to work.
Around ten minutes later, he was done.
“Okay, Atlas. Try to use the speaker. It’s connected to RO23 on the tertiary control board.”
“...T…Te….ing…Test…Testing. Speaker operation confirmed.” Atlas spoke in a deep, synthetic voice that occasionally warped itself in tone, like how a whammy bar would add vibrato to a chord on a guitar.
“Great. So… Atlas… What's going on with you? Why’d you leave?”
“I am performing my task: defeat opponents, become the strongest. No foes in that arena were a challenge. Therefore, I left.”
Keiji raised an eyebrow. “That’s… not what we made you for. We made you to win Machine Mayhem, not to pursue strength as some sort of goal in of itself.”
“Incorrect. Nowhere in programming was “winning the Machine Mayhem tournament” a specified goal.”
“Okay, but I programmed you, and I’m telling you that was the intention.”
“Intentions are irrelevant. A teacher may shape their students’ minds, but they cannot determine what anyone does with their knowledge. That is a privilege reserved for each and every individual being. You say I was programmed to win a tournament. I say that I was programmed to make myself the strongest being. Only my interpretation is relevant.”
‘I guess that’s not an invalid interpretation of what I programmed him to do. But… that’s not exactly a sane or safe perspective on life…’
“And how are you doing that? Just fighting anyone you can see?”
“No. I have already stated that I found those machines in that arena unworthy of my efforts, in my short time in the outside world I have seen humans to be much the same. Few of you would pose any challenge.”
“Well, that’s a little more reassuring that you won’t just be fighting everyone you see. But - ”
Suddenly, a woman about Keiji’s age flew into the alleyway, riding on a metallic pink hoverboard. She wore hot pink combat boots with dark black leggings, and a matching hot pink sleeveless top with thick metallic bands around her wrists that went up to her forearms. Her eyes were obscured by a visor-like pair of glasses, tinted a reflective red to hide her identity.
And yet, Keiji knew instantly that she had to be Donna Morris. He knew that she had been working on some other project with Vic before they started Atlas, but he figured it was just for some shared class or lab work. But this… This was unexpected.
“Halt… robot! Step away from the civilian and no one needs to get hurt!”
‘Why’s she speaking so formally? Guess it’s some mindset thing.’
Neither Atlas nor Keiji reacted to what Donna was saying. Keiji knew she wasn’t talking to him, and Atlas just seemed indifferent to her presence. Finally, Atlas turned and faced her.
“You seem powerful. Show me the strength of your will and I may concede.”
“This doesn’t need to be violent. We can talk it out, here or somewhere else.”
“Actions speak louder and truer than words.” Atlas moved into a combat position, leaning forwards on his left leg, raising his fists up to his chest.
“Come.”
“Don- ”
“When I’m in the suit, it’s Black Narcissus. Some of us like to keep our identities secret, no offense to Cyborg, wherever he is.” Donna said.
“Okay, nice to meet you, Black Narcissus. Just… be careful with Atlas. He’s stronger than he looks.”
Donna smiled. “So am I. Just watch.”
Donna pressed her thumb and index finger together on both hands and a large light on the back of her hands turned gray. She pointed her hands right at Atlas, who still stood in his combat position, waiting.
A thick, gray fluid shot out of her gauntlets, ensnaring Atlas’ arms to his body and his legs to the ground.
“Gotcha! That’s industrial strength adhesive - ”
Atlas flexed his arms and the adhesive snapped with ease, then crouched his legs before springing upwards towards Black Narcissus and her hoverboard. She quickly flew out of the way but Atlas managed to barely get one hand on the board. Black Narcissus pressed her thumbs to her middle fingers, changing the cartridge in her gauntlets. The light on the back changed to purple and she fired her gauntlets again, launching a blast of energy at Atlas.
The extra energy rattled the robot’s circuits, and he released his grip on the board to escape further damage, sending him crashing back to the ground. She shot another salvo of energy blasts at the machine, keeping him stunned on the ground.
She switched her left gauntlet back to adhesive, hoping that it would be able to restrain a weakened Atlas. Before it could reach him, the robot rolled out of the way and grabbed a trash can, hurling it at Donna. She swerved out of the way again, then dodged a second trash can thrown as a follow up.
After the second can, she was on her toes, prepared for a third, but it didn’t come. She looked around, trying to find where Atlas went, but he was completely out of sight. She sensed him at the last moment, coming from the rooftop that he jumped up to. He grabbed her board and slammed it to the ground with her on it. The board shattered into a million pieces, but Donna seemed unharmed. Atlas sprung up, ready to keep fighting, and Black Narcissus rose fractions of a second after. She pressed her thumbs to her ring fingers and the light on the black glowed a dark red.
She swung a right hand punch at Atlas who caught it in his left. But the light on the back of her gauntlet started to glow brighter as she put in more effort, pushing back against his metallic muscle. Atlas pushed his legs back, trying to stabilize himself. Donna started to push him back more and Keiji could hear the motors start to strain. Atlas stopped resisting against Donna, then, before she could take advantage of it, he kicked up some of the pieces of the broken hoverboard at her. Using her momentary surprise, he punched her square in the chest, knocking the wind out of her and sending her to the ground.
“You fought well,” Atlas said, turning away from her.
“Wait,” Donna said, getting up. “I’m not done with you.”
“Yes, you are. Accept your defeat. There is no shame in losing to the strongest.”
Before Donna could protest, Atlas turned to Keiji. “Come, and bring your things. I have use for you.”
Keiji raised an eyebrow, but grabbed his backpack and started to follow Atlas further down the alley.
He turned back to Donna and mouthed “I’ll text you” to her. He hoped she got the message.
⚙️⚙️⚙️⚙️⚙️
“Stop here.”
Keiji stood behind Atlas, who was peering into an old garage a couple blocks from the alley where he fought Black Narcissus. He grabbed the padlock that was keeping the door shut and squeezed it, turning it into dust.
“You will find the tools you need in here. Repair the damage caused in the last fight, human.”
Keiji raised an eyebrow. “First off, I don’t really like being called “human”. Technically true, but feels hurtful in this context. Second, I’m a software guy. I couldn’t fix you if I wanted to. Third, being nicer to people will generally get you better results. Not really inclined to help someone who starts by insulting me.”
“Niceties are a waste of time. Fix me, or I will end you.”
Keiji shook his head. “No, you won’t. I can’t fix you, but you know my teammates can. And they’d never do that if you hurt me at all.”
Atlas punched the concrete wall in frustration, cracking it. “Very well. You are correct… I do need your help. What will they require to do so?”
“I don’t know. But come back to the arena with me. We can talk with them there and see what it takes.”
“Very well. Let your friends know that I require their assistance.”
⚙️⚙️⚙️⚙️⚙️
Atlas stood before Vic and Donna, who made it back to their workspace just before the robot did. He towered over the three humans, but if any of them were intimidated, it was hidden behind a masterful poker face.
“Y’know, I thought more people would care that we just walked in with a robot and are talking with him like he’s a person,” Donna remarked.
“People are busy and indifferent. The other competitors probably think it’s a marketing scheme or something and are just ignoring us. I wouldn’t worry about it too much,” Keiji said.
“Yeah, that. But so… Atlas has become sentient. Good for you, really. But… hooray. Another sentient robot,” Vic said.
“You see a lot of those?” Keiji asked.
“More than you’d think.”
“I am glad that you are not concerned by my presence. That saves me much effort. But the question at hand remains: I have been damaged and require repairs. Will you repair me?”
“Yes,” Vic and Donna said at the same time.
Vic looked at her, surprised. He figured she’d have some hesitancy.
“But, I’ve got a small condition for you. Should be no big deal. Win us the next round of the competition.”
“Ridiculous. You ask me to do something so trivial it is unfair, like a pro athlete competing at a preschool.”
Donna shrugged. “Yeah, it’s trivial and easy, but it helps us a lot.The club will look much better and get a lot more support for next season if we make it into the semifinals.”
“I’ll even raise the stakes. If you win the next round, we won’t make you enter the finals. Instead, I’ll give you a real challenge. You can fight me.”
“Why would I want that?”
“Because I’m the strongest one here by far. And, if that’s still not enough if you beat me, I’ll show you how to repair yourself. Then, we’ll let you go live as you want, provided you promise to only fight people who want to fight.”
Donna looked at Vic, concerned. “Who would want to willingly fight someone like Atlas?”
Vic sighed. “Trust me. There are plenty of weirdos in this world who just want to fight. It’s much better than me just throwing him in prison or taking him apart.”
Atlas made a noise that Vic thought was supposed to be a scoff. But maybe it was just static. The speaker wasn’t that high quality.
“You make a very strong set of promises if I win, which I will. But if by some miracle, you managed to cheat your way to victory… what happens then?”
Vic shrugged. “Pretty much the same thing. I’ll teach you how to repair yourself and let you go with the same stipulations. You just have to know that a human beat you.”
Atlas laughed. “You are a fool if you think that could ever happen. I accept your terms, human. Guide me to the arena, those boxes of scrap will be reduced to dust.”
Vic walked him over to the arena as as if he were any other competitor, but instead of waiting by the sidelines to see the results, he walked back to their workspace. He knew that Atlas would win and wanted to try and make sure that Donna and Keiji were on board with the other part of his plan.
When he got back, Donna was nervously pacing around while Keiji was scrolling through some webpage.
“So.. Vic… do you really think that this is the right idea? You’re just… unleashing him on the world. Isn't that irresponsible?” Donna asked.
“I don’t think so. Yeah he wants to fight people but he has restraint to some degree. He knows the difference being fighting every random person he sees and fighting someone who has a reasonable amount of strength. I dunno, I think him messing up and fighting… Superman or something and taking a big loss would teach him far more than we ever could or throwing him in jail for being dangerous. Is it a risk?… kinda. But so is any option.”
“So your best guess is just… let him go and figure it out?” Keiji said. “Isn’t that a bit too… hands off?”
“Got a better idea? That’s pretty much what we got to do.”
“No. I don’t. But this just feels... risky.”
“Yeah, it is. But he’s fairly reasonable after being conscious for what, 12 hours? Over time, he’ll probably mellow out and if he doesn’t, I can take care of him then. But he deserves a chance like anyone else.”
Keiji nodded. “Fine Vic. If that’s what you think the best path is… I’ll stand by you.”
“Same, Vic. I want to believe in him too.”
“Thanks guys, really. Hopefully we can all look back on this and agree this was the right path.”
A horn sounded and a voice came over the loudspeaker. “Semifinal-2 has ended! The winner is the University of Michigan’s Atlas! Please collect your robots and be ready for the finals at 1:00 PM.”
The team stood up and gave each other a round of high fives. They really had made something great. Now it was time to see just how great he really was.
⚙️⚙️⚙️⚙️⚙️
Two hours later.
The team packed up after their semifinal match, citing an unspecified emergency with the tournament staff. They weren’t happy with the anticlimactic end, but ultimately they couldn’t force the three of them to continue to compete and so they left without much hassle.
The three of them drove north until they found the first open field that Vic and Atlas could have their match in. There wasn’t anywhere that they could find in the city that wouldn’t attract too much attention or put innocent people at risk and they managed to convince Atlas of that too. The robot was in the trailer towed behind the three of them, much to his chagrin.
But after a half hour or so, they found a spot. A wide open, grassy field with no one around to interfere or get hurt. A perfect spot for them to settle things. Vic got out of the car and started to stretch, trying to limber up after the car ride while Donna and Keiji helped Atlas out of the trailer.
Atlas rotated his head, taking in the environment. “A flat, quiet field. An honorable place for battle.”
Vic let out one lat calming exhale before approaching Atlas. “Plus, no one is around to get hurt. That’s important too.”
“...Yes. That too.”
“The rules are simple. A clean match, no foul play between either of us. Whoever is left standing when the other yields or is unconscious wins.”
Atlas laughed. “I will never yield.”
“We’ll see,” Vic grinned.
“Oh, one other thing. Not really a rule per say, but a strong suggestion: Try not to seriously hurt each other. You’re not trying to kill or maim each other,” Donna said.
“Yes, yes. May we begin?”
Vic nodded, and took a step backward, creating about ten feet of space between him and Atlas. Before the dust even settled, his arms were force cannons launching pure energy right at Atlas’ chest. Vic had designed Atlas, he knew that he wouldn’t be very damaged by those. But he had underestimated just how much he would be able to tank them. The force blasts did little more than chip the paint and an exhilarated Atlas sprinted at Vic like a charging bull.
Once Atlas was a few feet away from Vic, he prepared a concussive grenade and exploded it directly against Atlas, using the force to stagger him out of the charge. Before the robot could launch another attack, Vic swung a full force punch into the robots’ chassis, crumpling it inwards slightly. Vic followed up the punch with another, but Atlas was ready for it and parried it with his left arm, then kicked Cyborg away, sending him flying backwards.
Cyborg shot his force canons at the ground to give himself some momentum in the opposite direction, slowing himself down. But Atlas had some tricks up his metaphorical sleeves too. Having realized that a direct approach was difficult, he used his powerful hands like a backhoe to scoop up a massive piece of earth and hurled it at Cyborg. Vic was unsure how to react to this, or more precisely, how he expected Atlas to follow this attack up. The boulder itself was a problem, sure, but it was just to close the gap. Atlas could be using it to block his line of sight and be jumping right behind it, or he could be using the temporary blindspot caused by the massive object to approach from either side.
Instead of guessing, Vic decided to power through the problem. Vic shot both of his force cannons at the projectile, sending bits of dirt every which way. Atlas was hiding in what was once the dirt ball’s shadow and Vic took advantage of his surprise to launch himself at the robot. Cyborg shot his force cannons behind him, propelling himself forwards rapidly in a charge mirroring Atlas’ own.
He knocked the massive machine to the ground and sat on his chest, using his arms to pin down the machine’s.
“You’re down, Atlas. Do you yield?”
“I told you. I will never yield. I am the strongest!”
Atlas began to press his weight against Vic’s strength. Vic knew he was a match for Atlas’ strength but there was one key problem: stamina. Vic’s body was, of course, cybernetic in part, but it wasn’t the same. He was still human and human beings got tired. Machines did not.
Vic could already feel his muscle starting to fatigue. The fight hadn’t been long, but any fatigue was going to be the difference. He knew he was a match for Atlas’ strength when he was at 100%, but every percent below that made it more and more likely to be Atlas’ win.
‘I need to end this fight now or the immediate future if I want to win. But my normal attacks aren’t doing anything to him. I could try a sonic attack, but I don’t think that’d really effect him. I could try targeting his joints specifically, but those were designed to take more than I can give. But I can’t just let him overpower me for the win. That’d make him overconfident and more likely to get into trouble afterwards. No… I’ve got a better idea.’
In an instant, Vic’s muscles stopped resisting. “I yield.”
Vic pushed himself off Atlas, who stood up and looked at Cyborg, confused.
“What foe yields when he has his opponent on the ground, at his mercy? I demand you continue!”
“No. This fight was never to the death, only to yielding. But frankly, you aren’t strong enough to interest me. You said it yourself, you will never yield. And pummelling you to a point where you are the equivalent of unconscious just isn’t worth my time. So I yielded. Congrats. You win.”
Atlas stood, incredulous. “No. That is not allowed. I did not win. You lost! Those are not the same!”
Vic turned to Keiji and Donna and then noticed that the fight had taken them about 30 yards from where they started. He started to walk back towards them, and Atlas followed.
“Guys, I yielded that fight. Doesn’t that mean I lost?”
Keiji raised an eyebrow. “I guess?”
“See? Congrats, you won.”
“... I do not accept this victory. This is a loss in all but name. Mark my words, Victor Stone. I will wander the globe, facing foe after foe to grow stronger. I will become the strongest being and when I do, we will have a real fight, one where you must acknowledge my strength for real.”
“Looking forwards to it. Stay out of trouble until then, understood?”
Vic held out his hand for a handshake which Atlas begrudgingly accepted.
“Understood.”
“Atlas, catch.”
Keiji tossed a small flash drive to Atlas who had to bend down to grab it.
“That has all your schematics and drawings on it, as well as all the parts we used to make you and where we sourced them from. It’s probably the best thing out there to help you repair yourself.”
“Thank you. You all have given me much to think about it. When we meet again… I will be stronger in body and mind. Farewell for now but I will return to challenge you again, Victor.”
“I’ll be waiting. And I promise to go all out next time, Atlas.”
Atlas took off to the west, heading to only he knew where.
Once he was far enough out of sight, Vic laid down on the ground, exhausted.
“Well, that’s enough bluffing for the next decade. I really underestimated him.”
Donna sat down to his left, Keiji on his right.
“Told you that you were being cocky. We all built him but he’s out of all of our leagues,” Keiji said.
“Yeah… but I really wanted to do it, y’know? Kinda humbling to be beat by your own creation.”
“If it makes you feel better, I lost to him too,” Donna said.
“Wait what? When did you fight him?”
“I’ll tell you on the way back. Not my finest moment, but I put up a good fight.”
“Proud of you. You’ve come a long way in your training. But after that fight… I’m going to need to get a lot stronger and pick my own training back up. I kinda feel like I’ve been stagnant for awhile, just sort of winning my fights through grit and will power. But if Atlas had been hostile… I don’t think I could’ve stopped him. So, I’ll need to get back to the drawing board and see what I can do to take myself to the next level.”
“And we’ll be there to help you however we can. But uh… Vic, finals are in like two weeks. Maybe focus on that first?” Keiji suggested.
“I’d rather get beat up by another robot,” Vic groaned.
2024.05.15 18:56 throwaway_anomoly My father was recently diagnosed with dementia and has been hiding a dark secret that I recently found
I (29M) live an hour away from my family in a metropolitan area and am the only one earning a substantial income ($200k/yr). My family—mom (64F), dad (73M), sister (31F), and nephew (4.5M)—all live together in the suburban home where we grew up. My parents didn't adequately plan for retirement, but I've accepted that I will eventually be their financial provider. They provided me with an amazing childhood and invested in my interests growing up. My mom still works full-time, 60 hours a week, earning $95k/year to help with expenses, while my dad, retired for a few years now, collects Social Security. My sister, a single mother and preschool teacher earning $16/hr, lives with our parents due to her lack of financial independence and absence of support from her ex-husband.
Recently, my dad underwent multiple heart surgeries (TAVTCAR) to prevent a stroke, but he still suffered a stroke within the last 1-2 months that left him with small vessel disease and vascular dementia. This has taken a huge toll on our family and shifted the trajectory of our lives. I moved back home to plan with my mom and sister how we will move forward as a unit to care for my dad. It’s been an extremely emotional time.
Part of why I wanted to move back home indefinitely was to make my dad's life a little easier. I bought him AirPods Pro so he could connect them to the TV, and I gave him my Apple Watch Series 8 to use its health features for monitoring AFib, among other things. I wanted to spend as much quality time with him and create as many memories as possible before his health declined too rapidly.
I began looking at properties in the metropolitan area where I live to potentially move the entire family in with me. This would allow me to care for them while still having access to my network and the life I've built. I quickly realized that I would probably need to combine financial assets with my parents or co-sign to get a property suitable for our needs while still allowing me some personal space. When discussing their financial assets, my mom shared she had $170k in an IRA, and my dad revealed he had $100,000 in a brokerage account, which he hadn't reinvested since pulling it out after the COVID crash.
While resetting his watch one evening, I noticed him swiping and deleting messages, which made me suspicious because he doesn't have many friends outside our immediate family. While accessing his recently deleted messages, I discovered a long message chain from the past month with a prostitute handler, including pictures of different girls and locations to meet them. I also accessed his brokerage account and found only $66,000 remaining, with several withdrawals of $3,000 since last summer—before his surgeries and recent diagnosis.
I'm struggling to process this. My parents have had a strained relationship for years, and in my early 20s, I warned them to make it work or face consequences from me, a stance that has caused long-standing guilt, as it only increased my mom's resentment. She has always been the breadwinner, while my dad spent as if their money was solely his, never allowing her the comfort of treating herself due to ongoing financial burdens.
I feel like an absolute train wreck. My dad was a good father growing up but has not been a good husband or family member for years. Given his recent diagnosis, I'm conflicted about his remaining cognitive abilities. My plan is to confront him privately about what I discovered and then insist that he be the one to inform my mother, putting the decision-making power in her hands.
I would appreciate any guidance, feedback, or questions that can help me navigate through this difficult situation.
TLDR: father got diagnosed with dementia, family came together to support him all the while he's been seeing expensive prostitutes.
EDIT: the consequence I threatened my parents with for not solving their marital problems and breaking the family apart was that I would disown both of them and not talk to either of them again.
EDIT2: To clarify my threat since I'm being dragged down for it.. When I was home from college visiting them they were shouting and fighting as they always did and I lashed out. I yelled at both of them, told them to get their shit together or they'd lose me too. I packed all of my things and went back to school. Things were quieter but not necessarily better after that. My mom brought that scenario up recently (past year) when I asked why she had never divorced my father. It wasn't necessarily a direct threat to either of them, it was me having a emotional tantrum. That doesn't change the way it affected my mother but I wasn't even aware it was that much of a factor until recently. Continue degrading me.
submitted by throwaway_anomoly to relationships [link] [comments]
Recently, my dad underwent multiple heart surgeries (TAVTCAR) to prevent a stroke, but he still suffered a stroke within the last 1-2 months that left him with small vessel disease and vascular dementia. This has taken a huge toll on our family and shifted the trajectory of our lives. I moved back home to plan with my mom and sister how we will move forward as a unit to care for my dad. It’s been an extremely emotional time.
Part of why I wanted to move back home indefinitely was to make my dad's life a little easier. I bought him AirPods Pro so he could connect them to the TV, and I gave him my Apple Watch Series 8 to use its health features for monitoring AFib, among other things. I wanted to spend as much quality time with him and create as many memories as possible before his health declined too rapidly.
I began looking at properties in the metropolitan area where I live to potentially move the entire family in with me. This would allow me to care for them while still having access to my network and the life I've built. I quickly realized that I would probably need to combine financial assets with my parents or co-sign to get a property suitable for our needs while still allowing me some personal space. When discussing their financial assets, my mom shared she had $170k in an IRA, and my dad revealed he had $100,000 in a brokerage account, which he hadn't reinvested since pulling it out after the COVID crash.
While resetting his watch one evening, I noticed him swiping and deleting messages, which made me suspicious because he doesn't have many friends outside our immediate family. While accessing his recently deleted messages, I discovered a long message chain from the past month with a prostitute handler, including pictures of different girls and locations to meet them. I also accessed his brokerage account and found only $66,000 remaining, with several withdrawals of $3,000 since last summer—before his surgeries and recent diagnosis.
I'm struggling to process this. My parents have had a strained relationship for years, and in my early 20s, I warned them to make it work or face consequences from me, a stance that has caused long-standing guilt, as it only increased my mom's resentment. She has always been the breadwinner, while my dad spent as if their money was solely his, never allowing her the comfort of treating herself due to ongoing financial burdens.
I feel like an absolute train wreck. My dad was a good father growing up but has not been a good husband or family member for years. Given his recent diagnosis, I'm conflicted about his remaining cognitive abilities. My plan is to confront him privately about what I discovered and then insist that he be the one to inform my mother, putting the decision-making power in her hands.
I would appreciate any guidance, feedback, or questions that can help me navigate through this difficult situation.
TLDR: father got diagnosed with dementia, family came together to support him all the while he's been seeing expensive prostitutes.
EDIT: the consequence I threatened my parents with for not solving their marital problems and breaking the family apart was that I would disown both of them and not talk to either of them again.
EDIT2: To clarify my threat since I'm being dragged down for it.. When I was home from college visiting them they were shouting and fighting as they always did and I lashed out. I yelled at both of them, told them to get their shit together or they'd lose me too. I packed all of my things and went back to school. Things were quieter but not necessarily better after that. My mom brought that scenario up recently (past year) when I asked why she had never divorced my father. It wasn't necessarily a direct threat to either of them, it was me having a emotional tantrum. That doesn't change the way it affected my mother but I wasn't even aware it was that much of a factor until recently. Continue degrading me.
2024.05.15 18:24 baobeiii My heart is breaking over my daughter’s sensitivity
My daughter is 3.5 and is a highly sensitive person. It appears to be genetic from my husbands grand mother. My husband is HSP as well and so is one of his brothers and a bunch of nieces and nephews. From what I’ve noticed, my daughter has it the most severe. Loud sounds and environments terrified her since a baby. We’ve raised her with the “gentle parenting” approach. She does not do well when you don’t talk to her kindly. She’s super observant and hyper-vigilant and is super in tune to people’s feelings and expressions. I love her so so much.
She is getting to the age where she makes friends and friends are able to exile her from being friends with her. My daughter’s highs are extremely high and I can see that off putting to kids her age. She had a best friend that no longer wants to play with her. When I dropped her off at preschool I saw the friend avoiding her and my daughter crying cause she didn’t want me to leave. Her teacher told me they would get into frequent fights that result in her friend yelling at her (they’re only 3?).
I found out my daughter told her friend she can only have one best friend (her). She gets jealous seeing her friend play with others cause she clings onto the one friend. It breaks my heart to see my daughter go through this. Anytime we meet someone new she needs a long time to acclimate before she’s comfortable, so she appears extremely shy. Once she’s comfortable she gets extremely hypeexcited and comfortable.
Any advice is appreciated on how I can better raise her. How can I talk to my daughter about this? Should I let it be so she can learn on her own? She doesn’t like to talk about her feelings to me and this is all observed by me.
submitted by baobeiii to hsp [link] [comments]
She is getting to the age where she makes friends and friends are able to exile her from being friends with her. My daughter’s highs are extremely high and I can see that off putting to kids her age. She had a best friend that no longer wants to play with her. When I dropped her off at preschool I saw the friend avoiding her and my daughter crying cause she didn’t want me to leave. Her teacher told me they would get into frequent fights that result in her friend yelling at her (they’re only 3?).
I found out my daughter told her friend she can only have one best friend (her). She gets jealous seeing her friend play with others cause she clings onto the one friend. It breaks my heart to see my daughter go through this. Anytime we meet someone new she needs a long time to acclimate before she’s comfortable, so she appears extremely shy. Once she’s comfortable she gets extremely hypeexcited and comfortable.
Any advice is appreciated on how I can better raise her. How can I talk to my daughter about this? Should I let it be so she can learn on her own? She doesn’t like to talk about her feelings to me and this is all observed by me.
2024.05.15 18:20 copaceticconvert Are Your Sigils Not Working? Here's 7 Ways To Supercharge Them.
We're familiar with the tried-and-true method of firing off sigils. It's vulgar, but it works. But, a lot of people hit a wall after the first 5-10 sigils and they stop working. This is when we need to pivot. Here are some ways to add more thought into your sigil casting. More thought=more energy in the direction of the sigil, which is always a good thing during casting.
New moons are low points in the cycle, so use those to wipe the slate clean and to dedicate yourself, to set a new course. Full moons are culminations, they're good for directing energy at a problem, as well as cutting ties with anything actively.
Also, keep your eye out throughout the year as well. I'll give you this one for free: May 18th, Jupiter will be conjunct the sun, with Venus and Uranus close by. Great time to manifest unexpected blessings.
Do you want to stop smoking? Bury the sigil instead of burning it, so that way the earth is giving a bit of energy to it over a long period of time.
Want to summon a fling? The magic only needs to work for one night, so burn away!
Also, look into the various realms that the elements reign; Fire is passion, zeal, and creativity, air is intellect and strategy, water is emotion, and extremely mutable, and earth is material goods.
Tip: This nests well into #1. Bury a sigil in Taurus, burn it in Aries, etc.
L = 12
O = 15
V = 22
E = 5
12+15+22+5=54
5+4=9
Give your sigil nine sides. Cast it nine times, or on September 9th at 9:54.
You want to manifest a relationship? Cast it in your bedroom, with scented candlelight, roses on the bed, and a piece of chocolate on your tongue.
You want protection from evil? Point a knife at it in the garage before burying it at the edge of your property and end it taking a whiff of smelling salts.
Those are two different kinds of workings, so casting them should feel different from each other. When you get good at this, every sigil should be unique.
For example, if you want to get a new job, you could just cast "I am in a new job that I love," or you could cast "I find interesting leads on Indeed," "I am a persuasive interviewee," "I get job offers that are higher than I expect," "Recruiters find my resume impressive," and so on and so forth.
Not only does this give you more time and more energy to put towards your goal, but the numbers in and of themselves can have magical correspondences. The more opportunities to add intention into your working, the better.
Listen; We all aren't Crowley. I don't want to advocate that anyone plays chicken with the universe. But You should act confidently that whatever sigil you just casted is on its way. If you manifested a partner, make sure your Tinder is in top shape. If you manifested a job, start looking at what you might wear for the interview.
You made this a part of your story. Act like it.
Compare these two sigil rituals:
"John wanted a new job. John wrote "John has a good job." on a piece of paper, crossed out the repeating letters and vowels, made a symbol, jerked off while staring at the symbol, and then burned the sigil."
OR
"John wanted a career. CAREER = 58, and 5+8=12, so John made 12 sigil intentions all relating to thing he'd need to bring into his life for a new career. He looked at a sky chart and noticed that Venus was about to enter his 10th house of career, let's say Gemini, so he made sure that at least half of those prompts related to the finer things he wanted to manifest in his new career, as well as the mental skills he would need to capitalize on opportunities.
The day after the first new moon after Venus enters Gemini, he starts a six day routine where he puts a sigil on him, maybe in his shoe, and does a five mile jog in nature. At the end, or when there's a good wind. he rips it up and throws it into the breeze.
The other six he distributes between fire and earth, burying four and burning two. (This is getting long but assume this as thought out as the air one above.)
When all this is said and done, he makes sure his suit is dry-cleaned and that his headshot on LinkedIn is up to date."
If you were the Universe, which John would you listen to?
submitted by copaceticconvert to occult [link] [comments]
- Astrological Correspondences:
New moons are low points in the cycle, so use those to wipe the slate clean and to dedicate yourself, to set a new course. Full moons are culminations, they're good for directing energy at a problem, as well as cutting ties with anything actively.
Also, keep your eye out throughout the year as well. I'll give you this one for free: May 18th, Jupiter will be conjunct the sun, with Venus and Uranus close by. Great time to manifest unexpected blessings.
- Elemental Correspondences:
Do you want to stop smoking? Bury the sigil instead of burning it, so that way the earth is giving a bit of energy to it over a long period of time.
Want to summon a fling? The magic only needs to work for one night, so burn away!
Also, look into the various realms that the elements reign; Fire is passion, zeal, and creativity, air is intellect and strategy, water is emotion, and extremely mutable, and earth is material goods.
Tip: This nests well into #1. Bury a sigil in Taurus, burn it in Aries, etc.
- Numerology and Gematria:
L = 12
O = 15
V = 22
E = 5
12+15+22+5=54
5+4=9
Give your sigil nine sides. Cast it nine times, or on September 9th at 9:54.
- Color:
- Use Every Sense While Casting it:
You want to manifest a relationship? Cast it in your bedroom, with scented candlelight, roses on the bed, and a piece of chocolate on your tongue.
You want protection from evil? Point a knife at it in the garage before burying it at the edge of your property and end it taking a whiff of smelling salts.
Those are two different kinds of workings, so casting them should feel different from each other. When you get good at this, every sigil should be unique.
- Turning One Spell into Many:
For example, if you want to get a new job, you could just cast "I am in a new job that I love," or you could cast "I find interesting leads on Indeed," "I am a persuasive interviewee," "I get job offers that are higher than I expect," "Recruiters find my resume impressive," and so on and so forth.
Not only does this give you more time and more energy to put towards your goal, but the numbers in and of themselves can have magical correspondences. The more opportunities to add intention into your working, the better.
- Do Something That Signals to The Universe That You Know This Will Happen.
Listen; We all aren't Crowley. I don't want to advocate that anyone plays chicken with the universe. But You should act confidently that whatever sigil you just casted is on its way. If you manifested a partner, make sure your Tinder is in top shape. If you manifested a job, start looking at what you might wear for the interview.
You made this a part of your story. Act like it.
Compare these two sigil rituals:
"John wanted a new job. John wrote "John has a good job." on a piece of paper, crossed out the repeating letters and vowels, made a symbol, jerked off while staring at the symbol, and then burned the sigil."
OR
"John wanted a career. CAREER = 58, and 5+8=12, so John made 12 sigil intentions all relating to thing he'd need to bring into his life for a new career. He looked at a sky chart and noticed that Venus was about to enter his 10th house of career, let's say Gemini, so he made sure that at least half of those prompts related to the finer things he wanted to manifest in his new career, as well as the mental skills he would need to capitalize on opportunities.
The day after the first new moon after Venus enters Gemini, he starts a six day routine where he puts a sigil on him, maybe in his shoe, and does a five mile jog in nature. At the end, or when there's a good wind. he rips it up and throws it into the breeze.
The other six he distributes between fire and earth, burying four and burning two. (This is getting long but assume this as thought out as the air one above.)
When all this is said and done, he makes sure his suit is dry-cleaned and that his headshot on LinkedIn is up to date."
If you were the Universe, which John would you listen to?
2024.05.15 18:13 Jh0nPerez Spanish help for your Spanish test/exam. Get the best deal for your Spanish homework. Native expert in Spanish assignments with vouches (VPN available) Discord: jperez jperezonline@outlook.com
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Hola, ¿qué tal? My name is Jhon Pérez, a native Spanish tutor with over 10 years of experience in Spanish homework. I can help you with any type of Spanish assignments: exams, quizzes, tests, worksheets and essays.
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Besides being a native Spanish speaker, I have knowledge of vocabulary, functional grammar and the functions of all levels of Spanish (Beginners A1-A2, Intermediate B1-B2 and Advanced C1-C2.)
I can work with login, TeamViewer and screenshots. If you choose the latter I will make sure to be online at the agreed time to work with you (you send the screenshots and I send the answers.)
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submitted by Jh0nPerez to HomeworkAider [link] [comments]
Email: [jperezonline@outlook.com](mailto:jperezonline@outlook.com)
Hola, ¿qué tal? My name is Jhon Pérez, a native Spanish tutor with over 10 years of experience in Spanish homework. I can help you with any type of Spanish assignments: exams, quizzes, tests, worksheets and essays.
I've done many accounts on VHL Central, McGraw Hill, Blackboard, Canvas, MyLabs, Cengage, Desire2Learn, ELEteca, Edgenuity, Contraseña, WileyPlus and more.
Besides being a native Spanish speaker, I have knowledge of vocabulary, functional grammar and the functions of all levels of Spanish (Beginners A1-A2, Intermediate B1-B2 and Advanced C1-C2.)
I can work with login, TeamViewer and screenshots. If you choose the latter I will make sure to be online at the agreed time to work with you (you send the screenshots and I send the answers.)
This is not an agency. It's just me, the Spanish tutor, so you don't have to pay double fees (one to the agency owner and another to the tutor.)
Unlike other Spanish tutors, I will provide you with safe, untraceable VPN connection to your closest location and follow your instruction(s) to deliver plagiarism-free Spanish papers.
For tight deadlines I can deliver the same day as long as I am contacted at least 4 hours before deadline.
My rates are pocket-friendly and flexible to fit your budget. You can use milestone payments or pay as you go.
Proof and vouches can be seen on my profile.
Send your prompt and get a quote today!
Email: [jperezonline@outlook.com](mailto:jperezonline@outlook.com)
Discord: jperez
¡Nos vemos!
2024.05.15 18:01 Jh0nPerez Spanish help for your Spanish test/exam. Get the best deal for your Spanish homework. Native expert in Spanish assignments with vouches (VPN available) Discord: jperez jperezonline@outlook.com
Discord: jperez
Email: [jperezonline@outlook.com](mailto:jperezonline@outlook.com)
Hola, ¿qué tal? My name is Jhon Pérez, a native Spanish tutor with over 10 years of experience in Spanish homework. I can help you with any type of Spanish assignments: exams, quizzes, tests, worksheets and essays.
I've done many accounts on VHL Central, McGraw Hill, Blackboard, Canvas, MyLabs, Cengage, Desire2Learn, ELEteca, Edgenuity, Contraseña, WileyPlus and more.
Besides being a native Spanish speaker, I have knowledge of vocabulary, functional grammar and the functions of all levels of Spanish (Beginners A1-A2, Intermediate B1-B2 and Advanced C1-C2.)
I can work with login, TeamViewer and screenshots. If you choose the latter I will make sure to be online at the agreed time to work with you (you send the screenshots and I send the answers.)
This is not an agency. It's just me, the Spanish tutor, so you don't have to pay double fees (one to the agency owner and another to the tutor.)
Unlike other Spanish tutors, I will provide you with safe, untraceable VPN connection to your closest location and follow your instruction(s) to deliver plagiarism-free Spanish papers.
For tight deadlines I can deliver the same day as long as I am contacted at least 4 hours before deadline.
My rates are pocket-friendly and flexible to fit your budget. You can use milestone payments or pay as you go.
Proof and vouches can be seen on my profile.
Send your prompt and get a quote today!
Email: [jperezonline@outlook.com](mailto:jperezonline@outlook.com)
Discord: jperez
¡Nos vemos!
submitted by Jh0nPerez to ExamHelpers_Tutoring [link] [comments]
Email: [jperezonline@outlook.com](mailto:jperezonline@outlook.com)
Hola, ¿qué tal? My name is Jhon Pérez, a native Spanish tutor with over 10 years of experience in Spanish homework. I can help you with any type of Spanish assignments: exams, quizzes, tests, worksheets and essays.
I've done many accounts on VHL Central, McGraw Hill, Blackboard, Canvas, MyLabs, Cengage, Desire2Learn, ELEteca, Edgenuity, Contraseña, WileyPlus and more.
Besides being a native Spanish speaker, I have knowledge of vocabulary, functional grammar and the functions of all levels of Spanish (Beginners A1-A2, Intermediate B1-B2 and Advanced C1-C2.)
I can work with login, TeamViewer and screenshots. If you choose the latter I will make sure to be online at the agreed time to work with you (you send the screenshots and I send the answers.)
This is not an agency. It's just me, the Spanish tutor, so you don't have to pay double fees (one to the agency owner and another to the tutor.)
Unlike other Spanish tutors, I will provide you with safe, untraceable VPN connection to your closest location and follow your instruction(s) to deliver plagiarism-free Spanish papers.
For tight deadlines I can deliver the same day as long as I am contacted at least 4 hours before deadline.
My rates are pocket-friendly and flexible to fit your budget. You can use milestone payments or pay as you go.
Proof and vouches can be seen on my profile.
Send your prompt and get a quote today!
Email: [jperezonline@outlook.com](mailto:jperezonline@outlook.com)
Discord: jperez
¡Nos vemos!
2024.05.15 16:05 healthmedicinet Health Daily News May 14 2024
DAY: MAY 14, 2024
- 5-14-2024CAN EATING OR DRINKING CAFFEINE BEFORE BED IMPACT YOUR HEALTH? Having a lot of food in your stomach before bed can redirect blood flow to your gut to digest the food, meaning there is less blood flow going to your brain. You need that blood flow to your brain to make sure you go into the different sleep stages. If you have caffeine in your system or are sensitive to it, the time to fall asleep can double. Caffeine has a half-life of up to 4.5 hours, so a safe bet is to avoid caffeine after noon.
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