Reading street frindle

Impressed you even know the term Limerence - your wife is in a Limerent episode for a 'Limerent Object' - this online 'friend' - an opportunist, prepared to be involved with a break up of an 18 year marriage..he has nothing to lose - doesn't care about you and I doubt he cares for your wife - never mind loves her..
You got the classic "ILYBINILWY" - for sure this usually means there's 'someone' the Limerent (person) 'is in love with' - or so they think - it's their brain ON DRUGS....The love and care you obviously show for your wife is admirable - to be prepared to wait and 'pick up the pieces' ....
You're doing everything 'right' it seems, according to 'Limerence' sites or people knowledgable in this area ; You're not berating her, you're not denigrating him, you've told her you'll be there for her no matter what..
I, as a wife, didn't get the "ILYBINILWY" sentence, but had the devastating consequences of my husband telling me he "loved, missed, 'she needs looking after, and why don't you INCLUDE her"....a so-called 'friend' of mine initially...and at the height of the Limerent episode and his disclosure on D-DAY - he called her "his only friend"!!!! - he's got a handful of great male friends by the way..
I did everything WRONG according to the limerence advice - I FOUGHT, I denigrated his LO, as I KNEW her for what she IS - A NARCISSTIC, MATE POACHER - we also had the 'perfect storm' with so many things going badly in that year (married at the time only 3 years, but together 10)...I had been forced to be in contact with my estranged mother (estranged from all the family) - because she was showing serious signs of dementia, falling in the street, falling downstairs, stealing people's milk off doorsteps at 5 am etc...a breast lump scare for me, aged father also unwell (lives with us) my husband's son and I had some silly arguments - son moved out...and our COMMUNICATION was really not good, intimacy disappeared, distance created..
In steps my ex narcissistic, mate poaching 'friend' - she was also fully aware of my situation with my mum...she had been INCLUDED in our lives way more than she should ever have been - invited to to social gatherings, held a birthday party for her in our house, allowed her to use our property to hold her own gatherings (for profitable gain) - listened to her AD NAUSEUM about her childless, partnerless, lonely single life "Oh how my skin hurts from not being touched", "I'm beautiful, sexy, kind, intelligent, fantastic, blah blah, oh why not me, my sister, my brother, YOU, all of you have partners and kids, boo hoo, me me me me me" etc...
I empathised, sympathised, listened and took her under my wing as a friend - she was treated like a sister..and then in our WORST year ever - was mysteriously absent from any event going on - although I invited her to EVERYTHING..she declined..and was never around despite being OMNIPRESENT before this year from hell - funny that..But behind my back, she was asking my husband to help her with things at her flat, loving and liking all his posts on SM, asking him to meet her and her friends for a coffee, the usual constant bemoaning her single life...He said she was 'vulnerable', she needed looking after, she was 'funny', 'zany', 'intelligent'..and it was "nice going round there" - he confessed that he visited her flat three times in one month - when the whole thing exploded ..in my face.. had told her "I have (very) strong feelings for you"...also I KNOW he made clear he wanted SEX with her...it wasn't Tidliwinks he wanted to play!!!!!!!!
She apparently, magnanimously says "Not behind her back" (mine)...to which he responds, he tells me "What about a threesome then?" to which she also DECLINED!...but then said she was "open to explore"! ....red rag to a bull right, offering it on a plate, so desperate an individual, sorry excuse for a friend, that she was prepared to explore with her friend's husband...was a particular trait of hers actually, another massive RED FLAG, that I ignored - she was always on about other women 'friend's' partners - and how she was attracted to them!!!!1
There was no sex, but oh boy did he want it..he told me it was a threesome fantasy that got out of control...The D-DAY disclosure "I love ----, I miss her, she needs looking after, why don't you include her!" - I replied "what, in our bed?" - he said "yeah, why not".....the evening then descended into me raging, numb, crying, silent and then I confronted the LO, my ex friend by text...saying "thanks for the sisterhood"!, "didn't expect you to step into the breach as it were!"....
Fast forward now, sorry, you might not have needed my story...but..I want to tell you Madmuppet006 - you are doing the right thing...I still loved my husband - he told the bitch that "I still love my wife".."It's not happening between us!"....she didn't let go easily...she was out to devastate me, held me at arms length and did not speak to me, obvious guilt, despite her protestations it was "all him" (my husband), told mutual friends that she "had some sad and stressful things going on".....She was evicting her single mother of three kids tenant, who was suicidal..."I don't want her spilling blood on my grandma's carpet"...
Anyway - my husband - was in Limerence for a totally unsuitable LO - Limerent Object - we are two and a half years past the LE or emotional affair that nearly turned physical...the effects on me still devastating - had loads of BLAME, DEFENSIVENESS, EXCUSES and ANGER from my husband -alongside, remorse, loving behaviour, apologies and kindness...but it's been a battle, and I'm bloodied and wounded from it all and the scars are there - but we're still together - communication better than it ever was in our whole relationship, intimacy restored in all areas - I think your wife will come back - but I'm unsure about you going with it now, without telling her you don't want her to go with this guy or meet up with him at the end of June,...but they say "if you love them, let them go"...I also did this really - I told my husband to leave, I told him I wanted a divorce (heat of the moments) he came to his senses, eventually....he did a lot of things wrong - defence of him, her, the situation, excused, blamed and projected - but I researched, and read, and educated myself, and him I think, on Limerence, affairs, attachment styles, etc etc..
The 'bubble' will burst with your wife and this guy, that I'm sure of...The experts site 'limerence' as the first stages of love - but it wears off, then a different 'love' takes over - the one that's not a feeling but a verb - one that continues for a lifetime - but it takes work..you sound like the sort of guy and husband that's prepared to put the work in...your wife is in her 'affair bubble' her brain 'on drugs', an emotional bond created or re-created with this online 'friend'..it's all a fantasy and it will end...I made sure there was NO CONTACT between my husband and his LO, after stupidly allowing them communication..such a people pleaser and a person with loose boundaries am I...but it didn't last long - I now insist on boundaries..
I wish you luck and love for you and your wife Madmuppet006 - she's a lucky woman to have you - you know you did wrong - you admitted not being there for her - My husband told me "your mother's situation made you cold"!... It's true, I'd shut down, was stressed to the hilt and overwhelmed dealing with an estranged parent and her dementia - but we've made it through I think - I tell my husband I STILL love him, despite how he hurt me with his words, not sex with another - but his intentions, declarations and desires...emotional affairs affect women so badly, for men it's the physical affair that his SO has with another man usually that hurts so much..
You've done all you can I think...except tell her you don't want her to meet this guy..I wish you all the best

Recently came across a post from J Sanjay Kumar IRTS on X related to Gutka.
It seems that there is an extreme ill effect of Gutka in the Indian society, streets and public places. With the current govt having 10 years in power and again re-elected, having the same finance minister. Isn't it possible and about time for the govt to have a special case Scenerio where the tax on these items can be raised a 1000% ? Farmers to be given incentives to grow alternative crops. Individuels in the industry who are skilled workers to be introduced to reskill development program. States to pay up 90% of the income made from such sources to the centre.
What am I missing? What factors effect in these decisions being not being able to be implemented? Are the players in the market so strong that the saffron Indian government can not implement tougher laws again the spraying culture? One the statistics I read was that the IRCTC spends around 1500 crore Rupees cleanig it!!!! 😳 Can this saffron effect be changed in modern India?

As in my previous post, perhaps someone finds this interesting and would like me to make a book out of them. If you have any suggestions or would like to read more, please let me know :)
Here goes the second dream that i wrote down.
(a bit to read, prepare)
Between life and death.
I dreamed that my friends and I all bought mopeds and motorcycles. I had a red Yamaha with seven riding modes. We rode around having fun, but my motorcycle wasn't going very fast. I wondered what to do about it. I looked at the speeds; there were different modes with different speeds, all having a maximum speed of up to 80km/h, except for one, which had a speed of 160km/h. Happy and ready to keep up with my friends, I was prepared to ride, but as often happens in dreams, the scenario suddenly changed, and it turned out I had to participate in a race, but the race was not with motorcycles but with cars.
So I went to the stadium, which was underground, accessible by walking through a dark, stone-covered staircase, and at the end, the stadium awaited me in a rather dystopian appearance. Without any deeper thoughts, I knew I had to participate in it. In the dream world, my real-life car, a red Golf 4, awaited me. I got in and went to participate. The process itself is quite hazy, but I know I didn't win, yet the result was good, and I was glad I successfully completed the event.
After the race, there was supposed to be a concert and event. Although I don't remember the details, one thing remained vividly in my memory. A stand-up comedian who told various jokes. He was very thin, tall, and dressed like scammers from the '90s who sold snake oil and other useless items. With a bright suit and a top-hat. The crowd was thrilled, and everyone laughed at his jokes, but at one moment, he made an offer to marry a redhead. Considering it was a dream, I didn't question it further and simply participated. Two women came, one with red hair and one with dark hair. I lost the image of the redhead's outfit and figure, but the dark-haired woman was attractive, quite short, wearing blue pants and a black sweater, with a very warm smile.
After the comedian left with the redhead, the dark-haired woman approached me, smiled, and said that no one ever chooses her, which I found strange but didn't take to heart. She said every time this happens, she gets free ice cream and dragged me by the hand to a nearby shop. In the shop, there was no one except us and the seller, and there was already at least a euro in change scattered on the coin tray, and the ice cream cost 50 cents. She looked at me, bought two, and said it would be mine if I promised to take her on a date. I thought to myself that an attractive girl was flirting with me, no need to think much, I shook her hand and said I promised. Her smile grew bigger and warmer, as if it meant a lot to her.
In the next moment, I found myself walking up the stone stairs to the top, where I emerged onto an almost infinitely long road, flanked on both sides by cornfields as far as the eye could see. At the top, my cousin greeted me with the words, "Everything will be fine." These words resonated with me for some reason, but I didn't understand them. He then suggested walking down the road, which we did. In the distance, my dark-haired girl awaited me, and upon seeing her, my cousin continued to say that everything would be fine. I smiled and pretended to agree, although I didn't immediately understand. As I walked closer, a sea of negative emotions began to fill me. Fear, panic, stress, I felt it more with each step until tears started to flow, and soon my vision became blurry. In one moment, I realized – I was already dead, and my dark-haired girl was death herself, waiting to take me to the other side.
Meeting the dark-haired girl, she said that on the way to her, everyone understands what has happened to them, and it is completely normal. My cousin explained that I didn't make it to the finish line in the car race, I crashed, and now I am dead. In some way, it seemed that I accepted my fate and my time was over, but I still asked the girl, what happens now? She told me that I am between life and death, and I now have the opportunity to say goodbye to everyone and then be taken either up or down, but there's no rush. She said I have as much time as I want. Somehow, deep in my heart, I suspected I wouldn't get to the top, so I decided it would be best to stay here as long as I could since, according to religious texts, there's nothing good down there.
Curious, I asked death what she could do; she simply replied in one word – everything. I thought that my body had suffered enough, and maybe she could make me 18 years old again. She did it without any problems. Feeling young, strong, and healthy, the first thing that came to mind was to smoke a cigarette. So I sat down right there on the ground, lit a cigarette, and started coughing heavily as I inhaled. My body had not gotten used to it, and I couldn't smoke even if I wanted to. So I gave up on that cigarette, threw it away, and thought it was time to move on.
The next moment, the farewell process began, which everyone gets after death. It wasn't explained to me, but I immediately understood how it works. You are among the living, just like a person, but no one knows you, only the person you go to say goodbye to. They see you, immediately understand that you are dead, and that this is a farewell, and then all memories of this process disappear from that person, but you keep them to yourself. A system that was as old as humanity, but no one ever knew it, only those who had already died.
My father and I were never very close, but for some unknown reason, death brought me directly to him first. I immediately found myself in the warehouse of a chocolate factory where he worked. The warehouse was piled with chocolate boxes, and I want to mention that it wasn't good chocolate, among which my father sat with friends at a table with a bottle and lit cigarettes. I could see from his face that he was distressed by my death, which somehow made me feel a little good, that he did care after all. Seeing me, he immediately entered this farewell phase and looked me in the eyes, asking one question – up or down? Not wanting to reveal my thoughts, I simply said I didn't know and smiled. There was no certainty in his eyes, but he also just smiled. As it was accepted between us, we didn't talk about such soft matters, shook hands, and the farewell was over.
The next moment, I found myself with my half-brother, who worked in a small book and antique shop in London. Seeing me, he immediately understood what had happened and started crying. We weren't very close growing up, but he cared for me, and he has always been important to me. Yet, seeing his facial expression, I told death to let him forget me and end the process; I couldn't bear to tell him that I was dead and it was time to say goodbye. I wasn't ready for it. In a split second, his facial expression changed, and in his eyes, I was just another customer, but the tears in his eyes were still there. The girl understood me and said that I had all the time I wanted and didn't need to rush, for which I was very grateful. After sitting in the shop for a while, watching my brother, I realized that I needed to go somewhere, at least for a walk, to clear my head.
Walking through the city streets, I sat down on a bench in a park opposite a chess shop, where a tournament was taking place on the second floor, filmed by a short man with dark hair and a short beard. He seemed familiar, but I couldn't quite place if I knew him or not. On the bench, I lit another cigarette and started thinking about what I could do, being between life and death. Could I talk to people? Play a game of chess with a stranger? Would they remember me, or would I disappear from their memories too? After smoking and philosophizing about these questions, I thought I wouldn't push my luck and wouldn't ask death these questions now, better to stretch out the time longer, as I didn't want to know where I would end up when this was all over.
Finishing my cigarette, I continued my walk. I reached a large intersection, where across the street walked a tall blonde woman with glasses, and she looked at me and smiled. At least she really saw me, and I thought I knew her. I looked into her eyes and waved; she seemed a bit surprised but smiled and walked on. Crossing the street, thinking if I really knew her or was mistaken, she ran up to me, but strangely she was naked except for a long shirt worn like a dress. It wasn't very warm outside. Running up to me, she asked why I greeted her so warmly. I explained that I thought we knew each other, which is why I greeted her. After talking a bit, we realized we were strangers, but I felt like I needed to take care of her, thinking she might be like me, no longer alive but not gone either. Death had no objections, and we went to my place, where I dressed her in my clothes, which were comically too large for her but looked cute.
Having dressed her somewhat, I looked at death and asked if we had time to get to know each other. Death replied that we did but not to forget that I owed her a date too and smiled. I further asked if death could turn back time, to which she calmly replied she could. At that moment, I thought I could spend my whole life with this woman, and then death would turn me back to the time before I waved to her and then i could finally go on a date with death itself.
Pretty good dream, but the existential dread upon waking up, was not very fun.
8/10

I work local sort currently (began in October 23') with the goal of becoming a driver. Here's my situation... I received a ticket for a non-moving violation 5 months ago. My state requires vehicle inspection stickers each year and mine was expired. I paid the ticket immediately and got the inspection sticker updated.
Fast forward to now, I applied for a seasonal driver position online and thought I was getting hired for it. I took the road test and passed it. I was then told to complete the second part of the application online. This part asked me for my driving record info and background check. I included that I received a ticket for a non moving violation 5 months ago. I had no other tickets or accidents to report. When I turned in this part of the application I received a message that said something along the lines of "thanks for your interest, we are no longer going forward with your application at this time." Seeing this bummed me out. I have some people at work looking into whether or not my ticket disqualifies me for a year. My thoughts on it is that this was a ticket for a non-moving violation. You can receive a ticket for this even when you are not in your car at all; for example if you park your car on a public street and an officer notices your sticker is out of date, you suck and you get a ticket on your windshield. It has no reflection on my driving whatsoever. But I get it, rules are rules. I'm just wondering if anyone here has an answer for me in the meantime because I can't get a straight answer at the moment. Thanks for taking the time to read this.

A couple of weeks ago, I got dragged into one of those swanky, intimidatingly bright electronics stores. I'm no techie, but my laptop had given up the ghost and I was in desperate need of a new one. As I was meandering uncomfortably down the endless aisles of flashy gadgets, a particularly charismatic salesperson, let's call him Greg, intercepted.
"Looking for a new laptop?" Greg's voice dripped with practiced charm, gesturing towards an impressive-looking machine. "Check out this one. It's the latest model and it costs just $3000!”
For a moment, I was shocked. $3000? For a laptop? But then Greg, as if reading my mind, swiftly pointed towards another one. "But we also have this model, not as new and fancy, but for $1500, it's a steal."
Suddenly, $1500 didn't seem that bad. In fact, it seemed quite reasonable. It was almost as if Greg had dropped an anchor, a price so high that anything below it seemed like an attractive bargain. But here's the kicker: I had entered the store with a budget of around $800 in mind.
That, my friends, is anchoring bias at play. Anchoring bias is when we rely heavily on the first piece of information (the anchor), we encounter when making decisions. In this case, the $3000 price tag was the anchor that made the $1500 seem reasonable.
I almost fell for it, too! It was only when I snapped out of Greg's persuasive spell and thought about my original budget, did I realize my perception was being manipulated. So, I ended up buying a $800 laptop that suits my needs just fine, with no help from Greg.
This experience served as a reminder that anchoring bias can sneak up on us in the most unexpected places. The next time I venture into an electronics store, or anywhere else for that matter, I'll be on the lookout for any sneaky anchors that might skew my decision-making process.
P.S.: This anecdote isn't real—I didn't really meet a salesperson named Greg and it was not at a swanky electronics store, but rather a ramshackle one down the street. I just wanted to illustrate anchoring bias in a way that really hits home. Just remember, folks, don't let those sneaky anchors pull you down!

TLDR Version:
I repeatedly punched and kicked a woman beater in the head, do I turn myself in or hope the police continue to not be able to find me?
Long version (and this is pretty long):
So I know this makes me sound like a complete scumbag but I'm currently wanted for assault. The guy deserved it as he hit a woman (not tfor the first time either), but I did more than just punch him. I threw a glass at his head (which missed), then repeatedly punched him in the head/face, giving him at least a bloody nose. Got thrown out with him then it carried on in the street, I hit him again then repeatedly stomped and kicked on his head and face (which is really bad I know, but I was pretty drunk and furious that he hit this woman, who I know and he has repeatedly abused before), there was blood on my shoes and the floor. Got dragged off him after about 3-5 kicks. I wanted to kill him, honestly only the fact that I quickly got dragged off him plus I was too drunk to kick properly saved him. Obviously there were loads of witnesses and cameras everywhere as this was in a busy pub then the street. Some kid phoned the police as I was stomping on his head, I think I said I'd kill this guy too as he was on the phone. Got out of there then, the police didn't know where I lived for a while as they asked my mother, who lied and said I was with my imaginary girlfriend in another town lol, but they came eventually when I was just out the shower and completely naked. Luckily they didn't know I was in and went eventually. They've visited at least once since then, probably more as I'm often out, and once they seemed to recognise me as they turned round as soon as they saw me, I lost them by quickly going round a corner and down an alley. Other times though they've driven straight past me, seemingly unaware of who I was. Yesterday I got really paranoid as the police were everywhere in my town, I don't know if they were looking for me but one of them was bound to notice me again so I left town for the day. I'm not a habitual criminal or anything, I don't like the stress of constantly having to worry about them breaking my door down or seeing me again in the street and there being nowhere to run or hide this time (I don't think I'm fit enough to escape anyway if it actually becomes a chase tbh 😂). Then again they might not find me, I mean it's been like a month already, and if I do turn myself in I might go to prison (from what I've read I probably won't as it's my first time and he wasn't seriously injured, but head stomping is taken seriously apparently), but even if I don't I'll probably get a criminal record and a conviction (the guy won't press charges but the camera footage is enough apparently), which obviously will mess up my life. So do I get it over with and turn myself in before they arrest me naked or at an equally inconvenient time lol, or do I just hope that they give up eventually and continue driving past me (except for that one car)? Like I would've thought every cop in this town would have my pic, it's a small town with a tiny police station. Maybe they're not that bothered after all 🤷‍♂️. And they're not asking for me on their website either, I looked at their most wanted list and I'm not on there luckily. Any info on how the police will actually be dealing with this right now would be appreciated, thanks. Also any ideas on what punishment I'm likely to get as I can't find any real info online. This is the UK not America too btw so obviously laws and such will be different.

I seem to remember that was an option, a long time ago. I am driving in Greece now, with an English voice with street names, but the English pronounciation of the Greek names combined with me slowly deciphering the Greek characters on the screen and street signs is a horrible combination. Despite the funny fact I am slowly getting better at reading Greek (without knowing what I am reading of course). A Dutch voice would perhaps save me one translation step… I cleared my tts cache, but no luck. Is it gone for some reason? (iOS/Carplay)

I really do need to try a new medication. I’ve cried twice about things that do not warrant tears and it’s not even 11am. I partly think it’s not a very fair test though given I got into such a slump while weaning off plus I can’t visit my parents/be out in the country a couple weekends a month and things. But still, I think this one just isn’t the one for me which is a shame because I read so many promising things :(
Some people are such selfish squeaky wheels. Work people. Like BE QUIET THE WORLD DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND YOU.
I had vegemite toast just now, it’s so yum. I didn’t toast the bread right though but that’s fine.
He’s mentioned his old neighbour a small handful of times lately, 90% of me thinks whatever but 10% of me wishes he would shut up. If he had never said anything then it would be 100% whatever, but he DID say she’s pretty and he DID ask how I would feel if he slept with her. So that 10% of me feels uncomfortable. It’s silly I know, it’s not worth bringing up either - I don’t feel strongly enough about it to do so. But still, he’s brought her up like three times in the space of a week? I realise she’s not single and he hasn’t been spending time with her - I don’t think - but still. Like here’s a thought, if you’re so invested in her life why not go F off with her and be a part of it. I don’t actually think that, well 90% of me doesn’t. 10% of me is thinking why does she seem so important. I know I’m being ridiculous and unfair, like all stupid feelings aside I know it’s nothing and I know he’s not being weird or anything - but still. He just has a whole social life I know nothing about and normally that’s fine but sometimes it just makes me feel… unsure, I guess. Like he has all these women friends which is fine but I don’t know anything about them I don’t even know their names and when he casually mentions one or two he seems so familiar which yeah sure one would be familiar with a friend but it’s the fact it feels like he keeps them a secret that makes me feel unsure. Anyway. I make his life a living hell and make himmiserable, so I’m glad he has friends that clearly don’t. I sound so annoying. I am annoying. I don’t even feel negative about any of this, like I’m not upset or angry or jealous or anything, I just feel.. something. I don’t know what. I’m not very good at articulating my feelings am I? Anyway I just needed to vent for a moment I guess. I think if old me had this topic on mind she would go berserk with ten thousand possible scenarios and how he’s with her and things, whereas current me still feels uncomfy but is choosing to focus on the fact that a) I trust him b) she’s literally just an old neighbour who I’m pretty sure is married or something and c) I’m trying to not be a psychotic idiot. I get kind of (very) down about my slow progress really often so when I realise I’m now acting differently and thinking differently than I used to do… it makes me feel good. Except I just wrote that sentence and burst into tears. 0-100 in three seconds. I think if I’m good at anything in life it’s getting upset really quickly out of nowhere. Especially considering I wrote the bulk of that hours ago and I haven’t thought about it since and then I spent one minute writing how my thinking is different and bam - tears left right and centre. I’m such a wet blanket.
I still don’t really know what my personality is. I do and I don’t. I just have a lot of uncertainty and if someone asked me to describe myself I wouldn’t know what to say. Through therapy I feel like I know what kind of person I am, or the kind I am deep down anyway. The sessions we spent on working out what my values are and prioritising them helped more than I realised. I think about it a lot. Let’s see if I remember them, but in order:

1. Kindness
2. Love
3. Family
4. Loyalty
5. Health
6. Beauty
7. Humour
8. Curiosity
9. Harmony
10. Generosity
11. Solitude

I think I’ve forgotten one. I did, it was forgiveness. I got them in order pretty well, though it should be:

1. Kindness
2. Love
3. Family
4. Loyalty
5. Health
6. Beauty
7. Humour
8. Generosity
9. Harmony
10. Curiosity
11. Forgiveness
12. Solitude

And then I looked at the pictures I took of the cards because I picked out lots but then we put them into categories, so under kindness for example I have equality, respect, inclusivity, civility, diversity. Under love I also have romance, so that’s way up there, which is why I hope Andy is romantic because it’s probably more important to me than most - I think he is though. Under harmony I also have environment. So. They’re what are important to me the absolute most, they’re what I need to base my decisions and actions off of in order to be the person I am. She said that will help shape me further into the person I am deep down, and to get to know myself better. We did this a long time ago and I still don’t know myself very well. But like we talked about the other night, I get confused between what’s my personality and what’s depression - I don’t really know the difference. I think maybe it’s hard to understand how difficult it is to have zero idea of what you’re like as an adult without being depressed. I have a general idea of course, I’m stupid but not that stupid. Maybe I am though. I’m certainly not bright. Anyway. I was meant to pick 8 or fewer values/cards and this was me whittling them down. There were like 70 odd to choose from though! Like I didn’t include a lot, does that make me a bad person? I think mine all make me very selfish. There were also ones like:

• purpose
• spirituality
• intuition
• fun
• contribution
• self awareness
• openness
• social connection
• wisdom
• gratitude
• honesty
• genuineness
• optimism
• activism
• adventure
• empathy
• risk taking
• self respect
• passion
• integrity
• resilience
• leadership
• excellence
• vulnerability
• stability
• collaboration
• creativity

Etc etc etc. Yes I googled them. But I want them written somewhere as a reminder of the options, I kind of want to buy the deck for myself. Anyway. But what does that say about me? The ones I picked versus the ones I didn’t? It makes me a bad person, doesn’t it? I mean h didn’t pick honesty, I didn’t pick empathy, I didn’t pick self respect or self awareness, I didn’t pick integrity, I didn’t pick wisdom, I didn’t pick genuineness, I didn’t even pick fun. Is this evidence that I’m a bad person? It feels like it is. It has to be. Doesn’t it? From what I recall she said it’s about choosing what’s the most important that all of these can be important to you but you base decisions on the ones you whittle it down to. And look - he literally told me to stop lying two nights ago and here I am realising I didn’t even pick honesty as a top value. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME WHY AM I LIKE THIS? If I showed Andy this he would drop me, surely. He wouldn’t want someone like this. I don’t want to be this, how could he want someone like this? How could anyone? I truly am a horrid, selfish nasty girl. This is proof. Isn’t it? I don’t know. I know if I bring it up in therapy she’ll say no then we’ll talk about why I think that etc but I mean let’s be real for a second, look at all the options I may have picked at first but that I culled. This must be the reasoning for why I hate myself, no? I have so so so many reasons as to why I detest myself, but this seems like further proof, no? I feel… kind of stunned. Seeing it all laid out.
Puppy’s here :) :) :) He’s super hyper and won’t settle down for a proper cuddle but he will eventually I hope. He’s had a haircut so he’s a bit shivery but he was getting to shaggy I think. He sat on my shoulders before, sort of, on the top of the sofa behind me, he always does that, he’s so much like a cat in so many ways. He also always wants to slip into a spot where there’s barely enough room for him, like if I sit in an arm chair he’ll squeeze himself in so we’re side by side in the arm chair but like excuse me little dude I have some hips that don’t lie here I wasn’t built to share an armchair but he makes it work and it’s cute and he’s so snuggly. Andy’s softening on the idea of spaniels, which makes me so happy. Sometimes I want us to be a lil family with just us and some pups and a car maybe, sometimes I want us to be a lil family with that and a lil baby. The idea of him being a daddy to a cute little him makes me want to explode with cuteness. Like if I see him with it on his shoulders? Being cradled? Him feeding it? Him playing little games? I think I would spontaneously combust and out would fly rainbows and butterflies and puppies and baby pandas and all of it. CUTE. Also I have an excessive amount of love to offer, I don’t think Andy could handle it all, I think maybe it would need to be split elsewhere. Like horcruxes, split up my love into different special things. But no that’s not really it at all, is it. Nevermind.
I read a thing on here today and it was a bunch of men saying what they don’t think women should feel insecure about. And women are commenting being like oh this has made me feel so much betteyou are all so nice/ this has made me love myself more etc etc. I don’t believe a single damn one of these men and these women are gullible as hell. No one wants to be the asshole who says the “mean” thing and the ones saying they don’t care actually just mean they will tolerate or accept something if they like the woman, but let’s be bloody real if they could design their dream lady they wouldn’t have these things - they’re considered flaws for a reason. If you see another woman out and about or online or wherever who doesn’t have any of these things and is perfect they think she’s perfect. If you could have any woman they would look perfect too. Maybe they love their partner sure, I can believe that I guess, but to say they wouldn’t change a thing about her is utter BS. It’s such a lie. I know for a fact if a man loved someone but could alter their appearance without anyone ever knowing they would. I’m not saying women wouldn’t too, but I don’t care about that so I’m talking about what affects me. And it’s different for men, no one judges a man for his looks the way they do a woman. No matter what anyone says a woman’s value in this world is partially dictated by her appearance. You see beautiful women with average/less than average men all the time, when do you ever see it the other way around? Never. Men don’t get it. Andy doesn’t get it. They just DONT GET IT. They just lie. They all lie. Lies lies lies. Put me at a table out for dinner on a date, put a beautiful woman at the table next to me - whatever guy I’m with is going to admire her more than me, they’re going to resent me for not looking like her, they’re going to compare me, they’re going to realise I’m not exactly what they want. All I want is to be everything to someone and I never will be, Andy can be incredible and show me so much care and patience but I will never be exactly what he wants. Ever. No matter what I do. I will always look wrong no matter what he says. I will be tolerable because he likes me and he’ll put up with it, but I know he will wish he could have ended up with someone better looking. Any man would. This isn’t even being negative, this is just being realistic. I’m not crying, I’m not angry, I’m not upset - I’m resigned to this reality. I have always felt this way. And then I let a man in and he goes and tells me he wishes I looked like a literal supermodel. So exfuckingscuse me for knowing this is reality. I set aside my DEEP fears and insecurities for it only to be proven to be time and time again by someone who loved me. He said I was the first girl he ever loved, the first he ever had genuine feelings for, the first he ever wanted a life with, the first he cried over etc etc. He was complimentary to me, he liked that other men would look at me - though hated when they’d hit on me in front of him - and he would tell me his friends thought I was pretty blah blah blah. Nothing I took seriously because I mean, let’s be real. But all this. I believe he loved me the way he said he did, he was a prick but I know he did. And he still wanted me different. He still said he ”WISHED” I looked better. He said something similar another time too, this woman had insane legs and we were walking behind her and her partner on the street and I said wow I’d kill to have legs like that and he said god yeah they’re amazing I wish you had legs like that too - or something to that effect. See? I know it happened other times too but they’re the ones that stick out to me. So I agree that one will tolerate a less than perfect partner but they will always wish their partner looked better. And I could say the fact I wouldn’t change Andy means he could feel the same but it isn’t the same. It’s just not. Anyway I’ve ranted enough.
I felt awkward last night. He can be so… blunt. We were talking about HP takes and I agreed with him about something and he said “don’t take this the wrong way but I don’t believe you and I think you’re making that up” - so anyway I proceeded to take it the wrong way. Internally though. I need to get a thicker skin and I don’t want someone tiptoeing around me for fear of upsetting me. I don’t want to be that sort of person. I like that he says things like that to me, I just don’t like how it makes me feel… but I’ll get better and learn to not get upset. I can’t even remember what it was about. I do have a tendency to be agreeable - I can’t shake it. I just don’t feel comfortable sharing my opinions sometimes with him, I want to but I just don’t have any clever thoughts and if I do say something I can’t just spit it out I have to go round and round in circles trying to explain it. It makes me feel unbelievably stupid. And he’s the complete opposite of that. Every time he sees me being particularly dense I worry it’s the time he’ll finally realise he shouldn’t be with such a brick for brains girl. Anyway. It’s all fine I just got more practice in trying to not be a pathetic baby.
I’m glad my period is almost over and done with. Men have no idea how lucky they are to not have to deal with it every single month.
I wish I had had dinner later. I’m hungry. I didn’t even have a proper meal, I microwaved one of those uncle Ben tomato and Basil rice sachets and put soy sauce in it because it doesn’t taste like tomato or basil whatsoever. So it was filling enough at the time but not now. I haven’t had any vegetables today. Fail. Fail fail fail.
Okkkkay night
P.S some of this journal is negative but I haven’t felt that bad? So idk. I just needed to vent I think. I guess that’s get another fail of the day.

Hi all,
This is going to be a long post but I need help finding our cat who ran away due to our mistake.
We’ve had our cat for 2 years, she was adopted from a shelter, before that she lived with a few other cats under the bridge. She’s 4 years old, spayed (castrated?), FIV-positive and because of that also indoor-only and toothless. 9 days ago we accidentally left the door to the garage open, didn’t notice she went in, opened the garage gates, and she ran away scared. We live in a neighborhood with private housing (not apartments), and many neighbors have fences.
We’ve been searching for her since. What we did: - notified the police (they take care of stray pets here), the vet and surrounding shelters about her missing, gave them pictures of her - put up flyers in the neighborhood and beyond, including all the mailboxes in 300m radius - shared in local groups and in a specialized pet search groups - went through all the neighbors on the street we saw her when she escaped and checked every yard, nook and cranny - went to search for her every night from 1am to 4/5am with her food in a bowl we usually shake when it’s time to eat - put cat food in the garage, left the garage gate slightly open for a cat to enter, and installed an indoor camera. Monitored the movement notifications and closed the gates when a cat was inside. Caught a few street cats this way, none of them her. - put up her favorite chair, blanket and her scratching board outside to give a familiar smell - installed a humane trap in our yard with cat food. Caught 2 cats this way, but not ours - had her litter box out for 7 days, but then read an article advising against it and removed it
I was already getting desperate thinking she died or was adopted by someone in town, but exactly a week after she got lost I accidentally saw her on the street passing by our house from the window at 3am!!! When I called her name, she ignored me and continued on her way, so we went out to search for her, and after 2 hours, we saw her walking out of the field next to us and into the territory of a wine making facility. We were able to surround her 5 mins later, put up some food for her, but she hid under the barrels and then seemingly escaped through the fence behind her again (we didn’t see it because the barrels were very tall).
So, we know that at least as of yesterday, she’s alive and didn’t even look hurt or as if she lost weight. I borrowed more humane traps so now we have 3. I’ve put up one in a place we saw her out the window, one at the edge of a field where we saw her walk out, and one next to the place she climbed a fence. We caught 2 cats (or maybe the same cat twice) into a humane trap next to the field last night, but not our Cory. Tonight we didn’t see her at all.
What else can I do to return her home?
Note: she’s a bit of a scaredy cat and doesn’t like to be picked up, although she likes to lay down on us as we watch movies. When she had teeth problems, sometimes we had to take her out of her hiding spots to take her to the vet and get her treatment (that was over a year ago), so she might be scared of us surrounding her because of that.
Note 2: we are based in the Czech Republic so US apps don’t work here
TL;DR: our indoor-only, previously-street cat (FIV-positive, toothless) escaped home by accident 9 days ago. We saw her outside our house on night 8, but couldn’t catch her as she climbed the fence to a private territory. How do we catch her to return her home?

Hi all,
Just returned from a 4-day trip to Scotland with my friend, and I'm excited to share our adventures. We planned this getaway right after finishing our college exams to celebrate our graduation.
Day 1:
We finished our last final exam at college, then drove to the airport. We departed at 2:15 AM local time from DMM to AMS to EDI. We arrived in Edinburgh at 11:00 AM.
We flew with KLM. When we arrived at Amsterdam Airport, we strolled around, grabbed Starbucks, and waited for our flight to Edinburgh.
We reached Edinburgh at 11:00 AM on June 3rd, took a bus to the city center, and it seemed like a sunny and delightful day. Everyone was out enjoying the sun—old folks and young people alike. We headed straight to our Airbnb accommodation.
Day One Highlights:

1. We arrived at our accommodation at 2:00 PM and put away our stuff.
   
2. At 3:00 PM, we went to the city center and had lunch at La Locanda. We liked the starters, although the main dish (Ravioli) wasn’t our favorite.
   
3. Finished lunch at 4:30 PM and walked along the famous street, Royal Mile.
   
4. Climbed Calton Hill at 5:30 PM to see the beautiful city view. Stunning!
   
5. Had coffee at 6:30 PM at Haute Dolci, located in St James Quarter. The mall was fancy and worth the visit.
   
6. Returned to our accommodation after a very beautiful day.
   

Day Two:
We woke up at 6:30 AM and left the house by 7:00 AM. We rented a car through the Turo app, scheduled for pickup at 7:30 AM. We were in such a good mood that we stopped by a local bakery called Storries and got some pastries, which didn’t turn out great.
As, the picky one, i didn't want instant Nescafé which was the only coffee they offer, so we went to another cafe right next to it called Artisian Coffee Leith, which I found very worth it. I loved the flat white.
We reached to the car pickup location almost 20 minutes late at around 8:00 am. I had assumed the Turo check-in was self-service, but it wasn't! The Turo guy had been waiting for us for half an hour. He texted saying he had already left, but we convinced him to come back.
Then he arrived, driving like he was mad with his Range Rover engine roaring loudly. He got out looking ready to explode, but we kept our 100m distance and apologised ._. We just blamed it on "circumstances," and took the car after he gave us some instructions.
Our Road Trip Route plan was as follow:

1. Stop at Artisan Cafe & Deli
2. Hike at the Lost Valley in Glencoe
3. Final stop at Fort Augustus (2nd Airbnb)

We started the road trip with MJ still getting used to driving on the right side. We stopped at our first service station at 10:00 AM. I enjoyed the beautiful scenery while MJ drove. We reached our second stop, the Artisan cafe & Deli, at 12:00 pm. It had a cozy, quirky vibe. We had coffee and delicious coffee cake and discussed some controversial topics for an hour before hitting the road again at 1:00 PM, heading to Glencoe.
When we reached Glencoe for the hike, the weather was very rainy. I'll never forget the feeling of the fog coming down over the green mountains. Due to the weather, we couldn't complete the hike, so we continued driving to our final stop, Fort Augustus, where our 2nd Airbnb (Keith's RV) was waiting for us.
We arrived at Fort Augustus at 4:15 PM, and Keith came running to greet us. His RV was impressively equipped with everything we needed—a 10/10 experience. After Keith showed us around, MJ and I strolled through Fort Augustus. Keith lent us an umbrella just in case it rained, joking that they had never used it before, although it rains a lot here.
We went to the SPAR supermarket to pick up groceries for our pasta dinner. MJ was determined to make the best pasta, and they certainly delivered. After enjoying a delicious meal and watching a movie "The Usual Suspects" with the sound of light rain in the background, we slept soundly.
Day Three:
We woke up late at 9:30 AM, packed up, and said goodbye to the RV and the amazing Keith at 10:00 AM.

1. We embarked on a hike along the Great Glen Way.
   
2. Enjoyed stunning views of Loch Ness from above, experiencing all kinds of weather—rain, sun, and wind.
   
3. Reached to Invermoriston village at the end of the trail, saw beautiful waterfalls, and took a bus back to Fort Augustus at 2:30 PM.
   
4. Arrived back at Fort Augustus, and it was my turn to drive. Yay! At 3:00 PM, we filled up with petrol and continued our journey.
   

We arrived in Edinburgh and headed to an Indian restaurant called Kebab Mahal at 7:15 PM for an amazing curry. While there, we met a guy who was eating and chatting on his phone. We exchanged glances and soon found ourselves in conversation with him. He told us he was on vacation, traveling around the UK with only his bicycle! Just living life. He was so comfortable with us that he even shared what he had for lunch the previous day.
After dinner, we made our way to our third Airbnb: Domenico and Maria’s place. We arrived at 10:50 PM just as they were coming in from outside. Exhausted from the day, we showered and lay down. The creaky floorboards still echo in my head. The Airbnb house was charming but a bit fragile and thin. We parked our car outside ready to be dropped 7:30 AM tomorrow.
Day Four:
We woke up 6:50 AM at Domenico's place, anxious that we were late for the Turo guy since it is 30min drive to the drop-off location! We hurriedly got into the car at 7:00 am. I nervously opened the Turo app to tell him we may be late. (I don't want to hear the Range Rover engine again). The first message from him was: “Can we meet at 9:00 AM?” I was so relieved
We had a relaxed coffee and then returned the car to Turo guy, who seemed a bit grumpy. He charged us £140 for a rim. Well, well, shit happen.
After finishing up him, we took a bus to Portobello Beach. We had breakfast at a nice restaurant called The Beach House—scrambled eggs and strawberry pancakes. We walked a bit and then went to Edinburgh Castle arriving at 1:30 PM and leaving at 2:30 PM.
Next, we went to the amazing steak restaurant Chez Jules. We had planned to go to Papilio, but it was closed, and Chez Jules turned out to be a fantastic choice. Food and ambience were excellent. I also highly recommend visiting for lunch to take advantage of their lunch offer.
Afterward, we headed to Arthur’s Seat at 4:00 PM, climbed halfway, but couldn’t continue due to time constraints since our bus to Glasgow was at 7:30 PM. We finished at Arthur’s Seat at 5:40 PM and headed to the bus station for our trip to Glasgow.
The bus ride from Edinburgh to Glasgow was relaxing. I was on my phone listening to music and eating snacks, while MJ, as always, was peacefully reading his book. We arrived in Glasgow at 9:30 PM, had a quick dinner at Jollibee (the strips were amazing), and then went to our fourth Airbnb and slept.
Day Five and Final Day:
We headed to the airport at 7:00 AM for our 9:20 AM flight home.
————
Our Itinerary Pros:

• We managed to see a lot of attractions in just 4 days.
  
• Exploring the Highlands was definitely a highlight of the trip, offering breathtaking scenery and unforgettable experiences.
  

Cons:

• Our return flight was from GLA instead of EDI due to the price difference.
  
• We stayed in multiple Airbnbs throughout the trip, but given the short travel time and varied destinations, this was understandable and didn't detract from our overall experience.
  

————
My final opinion: Scotland is great 💯

Hi all,
Just returned from a 4-day trip to Scotland with my friend, and I'm excited to share our adventures. We planned this getaway right after finishing our college exams to celebrate our graduation.
Day 1:
We finished our last final exam at college, then drove to the airport. We departed at 2:15 AM local time from DMM to AMS to EDI. We arrived in Edinburgh at 11:00 AM.
We flew with KLM. When we arrived at Amsterdam Airport, we strolled around, grabbed Starbucks, and waited for our flight to Edinburgh.
We reached Edinburgh at 11:00 AM on June 3rd, took a bus to the city center, and it seemed like a sunny and delightful day. Everyone was out enjoying the sun—old folks and young people alike. We headed straight to our Airbnb accommodation.
Day One Highlights:

1. We arrived at our accommodation at 2:00 PM and put away our stuff.
   
2. At 3:00 PM, we went to the city center and had lunch at La Locanda. We liked the starters, although the main dish (Ravioli) wasn’t our favorite.
   
3. Finished lunch at 4:30 PM and walked along the famous street, Royal Mile.
   
4. Climbed Calton Hill at 5:30 PM to see the beautiful city view. Stunning!
   
5. Had coffee at 6:30 PM at Haute Dolci, located in St James Quarter. The mall was fancy and worth the visit.
   
6. Returned to our accommodation after a very beautiful day.
   

Day Two:
We woke up at 6:30 AM and left the house by 7:00 AM. We rented a car through the Turo app, scheduled for pickup at 7:30 AM. We were in such a good mood that we stopped by a local bakery called Storries and got some pastries, which didn’t turn out great.
As, the picky one, i didn't want instant Nescafé which was the only coffee they offer, so we went to another cafe right next to it called Artisian Coffee Leith, which I found very worth it. I loved the flat white.
We reached to the car pickup location almost 20 minutes late at around 8:00 am. I had assumed the Turo check-in was self-service, but it wasn't! The Turo guy had been waiting for us for half an hour. He texted saying he had already left, but we convinced him to come back.
Then he arrived, driving like he was mad with his Range Rover engine roaring loudly. He got out looking ready to explode, but we kept our 100m distance and apologised ._. We just blamed it on "circumstances," and took the car after he gave us some instructions.
Our Road Trip Route plan was as follow:

1. Stop at Artisan Cafe & Deli
2. Hike at the Lost Valley in Glencoe
3. Final stop at Fort Augustus (2nd Airbnb)

We started the road trip with MJ still getting used to driving on the right side. We stopped at our first service station at 10:00 AM. I enjoyed the beautiful scenery while MJ drove. We reached our second stop, the Artisan cafe & Deli, at 12:00 pm. It had a cozy, quirky vibe. We had coffee and delicious coffee cake and discussed some controversial topics for an hour before hitting the road again at 1:00 PM, heading to Glencoe.
When we reached Glencoe for the hike, the weather was very rainy. I'll never forget the feeling of the fog coming down over the green mountains. Due to the weather, we couldn't complete the hike, so we continued driving to our final stop, Fort Augustus, where our 2nd Airbnb (Keith's RV) was waiting for us.
We arrived at Fort Augustus at 4:15 PM, and Keith came running to greet us. His RV was impressively equipped with everything we needed—a 10/10 experience. After Keith showed us around, MJ and I strolled through Fort Augustus. Keith lent us an umbrella just in case it rained, joking that they had never used it before, although it rains a lot here.
We went to the SPAR supermarket to pick up groceries for our pasta dinner. MJ was determined to make the best pasta, and they certainly delivered. After enjoying a delicious meal and watching a movie "The Usual Suspects" with the sound of light rain in the background, we slept soundly.
Day Three:
We woke up late at 9:30 AM, packed up, and said goodbye to the RV and the amazing Keith at 10:00 AM.

1. We embarked on a hike along the Great Glen Way.
   
2. Enjoyed stunning views of Loch Ness from above, experiencing all kinds of weather—rain, sun, and wind.
   
3. Reached to Invermoriston village at the end of the trail, saw beautiful waterfalls, and took a bus back to Fort Augustus at 2:30 PM.
   
4. Arrived back at Fort Augustus, and it was my turn to drive. Yay! At 3:00 PM, we filled up with petrol and continued our journey.
   

We arrived in Edinburgh and headed to an Indian restaurant called Kebab Mahal at 7:15 PM for an amazing curry. While there, we met a guy who was eating and chatting on his phone. We exchanged glances and soon found ourselves in conversation with him. He told us he was on vacation, traveling around the UK with only his bicycle! Just living life. He was so comfortable with us that he even shared what he had for lunch the previous day.
After dinner, we made our way to our third Airbnb: Domenico and Maria’s place. We arrived at 10:50 PM just as they were coming in from outside. Exhausted from the day, we showered and lay down. The creaky floorboards still echo in my head. The Airbnb house was charming but a bit fragile and thin. We parked our car outside ready to be dropped 7:30 AM tomorrow.
Day Four:
We woke up 6:50 AM at Domenico's place, anxious that we were late for the Turo guy since it is 30min drive to the drop-off location! We hurriedly got into the car at 7:00 am. I nervously opened the Turo app to tell him we may be late. (I don't want to hear the Range Rover engine again). The first message from him was: “Can we meet at 9:00 AM?” I was so relieved
We had a relaxed coffee and then returned the car to Turo guy, who seemed a bit grumpy. He charged us £140 for a rim. Well, well, shit happen.
After finishing up him, we took a bus to Portobello Beach. We had breakfast at a nice restaurant called The Beach House—scrambled eggs and strawberry pancakes. We walked a bit and then went to Edinburgh Castle arriving at 1:30 PM and leaving at 2:30 PM.
Next, we went to the amazing steak restaurant Chez Jules. We had planned to go to Papilio, but it was closed, and Chez Jules turned out to be a fantastic choice. Food and ambience were excellent. I also highly recommend visiting for lunch to take advantage of their lunch offer.
Afterward, we headed to Arthur’s Seat at 4:00 PM, climbed halfway, but couldn’t continue due to time constraints since our bus to Glasgow was at 7:30 PM. We finished at Arthur’s Seat at 5:40 PM and headed to the bus station for our trip to Glasgow.
The bus ride from Edinburgh to Glasgow was relaxing. I was on my phone listening to music and eating snacks, while MJ, as always, was peacefully reading his book. We arrived in Glasgow at 9:30 PM, had a quick dinner at Jollibee (the strips were amazing), and then went to our fourth Airbnb and slept.
Day Five and Final Day:
We headed to the airport at 7:00 AM for our 9:20 AM flight home.
————
Our Itinerary Pros:

• We managed to see a lot of attractions in just 4 days.
  
• Exploring the Highlands was definitely a highlight of the trip, offering breathtaking scenery and unforgettable experiences.
  

Cons:

• Our return flight was from GLA instead of EDI due to the price difference.
  
• We stayed in multiple Airbnbs throughout the trip, but given the short travel time and varied destinations, this was understandable and didn't detract from our overall experience.
  

————
My final opinion: Scotland is great 💯

This just happened last week. So, I'm casually sipping on my evening cup of joe, right? My cat, Muffins, lounging next to me while we both browse the daily news. Suddenly, I stumble upon a news article about this big stock market crash. Of course, the journalists declare they saw it coming from a mile away.
Now I’m no Wall Street whizz, but this got me thinking, “Wait a second, isn’t this just...hindsight bias?” For those who haven't heard of it, hindsight bias is a sneaky little cognitive phenomenon that makes us believe we could have predicted an outcome after the fact, even if there was virtually no way we could have known beforehand.
So, there it was, as clear as day, a classic case of Hindsight bias - right smack in the middle of this Wall Street Article. The funny thing is, it's not the journalist’s genius insight that predicted the crash. It was good old-fashioned Hindsight bias, making it seem like they had seen it coming when they really hadn’t.
As I continued sipping my coffee and skimming through the article, I started using the mental model of Inversion. Instead of merely accepting the article at face value, I started thinking about the event in reverse: what were the market conditions before the crash? Were there any clear indicators or was the journalist just being a Monday-morning quarterback?
The deeper I dived, the more I realized that the article was heavily skewed by the Hindsight bias. It made me realize, we should always read news articles with critical thinking, employing mental models like Inversion, and not just gobble up the information like my Muffins would her tuna treats.
And no, Muffins didn’t find any Hindsight bias in the article about the new local dog park. Go figure.
P.S. This is just a hypothetical tale, folks. The stock market didn't crash, and my cat Muffins isn't really a news hound. She spends her days watching birds and napping, oblivious to the nuances of cognitive biases. But hey, wouldn't it be an interesting world if our feline friends started catching on to journalistic biases?

From what I’ve read online, seems the area might be a bit rougher but the prices seem good value and street view shows most of the homes in the area are well enough cared for. Looking for an honest opinion of the neighborhood. Pros and cons. I found a property renovated for 130k that seems nice but I’m not sure if I’d be overpaying or should look for other options.
Thanks!

Background: - Place of origin: France for me/Latin America for wifey - Expats in: Germany - GendeEthnicity: White Male / POC Female
I have to share this because this country and these people are getting on my nerves. They had me/us believe I/we was/were the problem. Married couple here, one white European dude with a POC non-European wife. We moved to Germany with two big salaries working in tech, thinking we would have a nice life. It did not take long for us to realize this was the worse mistake of our life. We got a shitty extremely overpriced apartment in a fancy area of Berlin without kitchen. A classic. You have to know that Germans fit their kitchen, take them with them. I am not gonna debate the stupidity of that. We spent so much in furnishing that shitty apartment when other countries would offer unfurnished apartments with a fully equipped functioning kitchen as well as bathroom. Let me tell you, it was far from that. But at least we had a toilet seat (yes, some Germans rent apartments without the toilet seat). The isolation was crap and we woke up every morning to the sound of the binman or Germans yelling at each other because they were stuck behind the binman on their way to work. I need to talk about the mailbox PTSD. That’s a thing! A large part of our evenings went to fixing the stuffs that would arrive by mail. Paper! Extra work to scan, fix, answer. And often, they made mistakes along the way that we had to fix. So… every time we would go to our mailbox, we started stressing we might find something inside, and more often than not, there was something inside.
But we had a big salary to compensate for that misery, or did we? Germans pay a shit ton of taxes! I don't know where it goes because nothing works! I even let myself get convinced to switch to Private Insurance to pay less on HealthCare. BIG MISTAKE! The pain! They don't understand what is digitization. Their apps that are supposed to make life simpler makes it harder. Instead of replacing dinosaur systems, they add apps on top to "make it look" like digital. I had to pay out of pocket, even large sums. Digitize paper bills, send them through apps with the worst user interface. Then wait for weeks for them to reimburse, only to realize that most private doctors will charge a lot of extra stuffs that won't get reimbursed. One way to screw people and the system. And bills would come late! It would take them up to 6 months to bill you. I just received one last week. But they would demand payment immediately or within 2 weeks.
You don't want to pay late. They are really quick at sending you the debt collectors. We received a fine for the payment of a bus ticket that bounced back, 2 years after it happened. We had to pay 40€ with interest for a ticket of 3€. They would have told us on the spot, we would have paid. 2 YEARS! We did not even know what they wanted because we only had the information of the debt collector and not the public transport company. We thought it was a scam. Go figure that out after two years.
Did I tell you that we had to take a lawyer to fight our shitty landlord and the extremely pricey and illegal rent? That is a very common story for you in Germany. Never took a lawyer in my life but that was the best decision ever. I took a German legal insurance. Useless. They always find ways not to pay. We had to pay out of pocket, but we were free. That landlord paid our way out of Germany. Thank you Landlord! Go f*** yourself! We have been out of Germany for a year now after 2 horrible years in Germany, and I am still receiving medical bills or trying to cancel contracts. I went to cancel in person, but no, they don't do their job and tell you they did. My bank account says otherwise.
The immigration service is just shit. But we should have read the signs when it was already bad at the German Consulate back in the other European country we used to live in. It gets worse once you get to Germany. It took them 6 months to issue a VISA. They made a mistake, we had to wait another 6 months. Like… they make a mistake and you are not even prioritized. We came with a translator because you need level Z2 in German when the language scale stops at C2. They go on a coffee break in the middle of the appointment and had us wait over 2h for them to scan papers, and they still managed to fuck it up. I am European, I don’t fully understand how it feels to be on a Visa and have your life on a thread, but I have seen my wife and have stressed with her with this situation, worrying that she might get deported or something.
I haven’t even started on the people. We found some nice Germans, but they were few. They have a macho attitude and I always have to represent my wife for them to take us seriously, when she is the main breadwinner. On top of that, most Germans are so frustrated with their life and rules that they are very aggressive and keep on yelling at each other. I got yelled out countless time by the cashiers, because of my broken German. I saw a dude run over a grandma and leave. Or a driver yelling at my wife when she was pregnant because she was crossing the street too slowly. Where is the kindness? The compassion? I get it! I almost became one of them. No wonder you want to kill everyone when you work 40h a week, on top of breaks, go home, have to deal with shit, and still do not make a lot of money because you are paying a shit ton of taxes or their bad quality healthcare services.
It is a dog-eat-dog life where you try to survive and only care about yourself. The country is literally not made to help its people. Customer service is nonexistent and incompetent, and if they are responsible, they will flip it on you. They don’t care if you do not like their service, they’ll find plenty more naive people to buy their bullshit.
They almost had me believe that I was the problem. That it was my German, that should take more courses. Thanks for the advice. Go experience 5h of German a week on top of the 40h work week and the German usual bullshit on top. I tried really hard to learn. But how can you stay motivated when they will put you down everyday for not "being German". Honestly I sometimes almostbfelt jealous about the refugees. (/s) You came without a job. The immigration centejob center is paying for your German classes (never paid for any of us even when one of us was temporarily unemployed) and you have all the time in the world to learn. Meanwhile, I am highly qualified, working my ass off, paying a shit ton of taxes and being treated like second class citizen whenever I interact with Germans. Germans, I am sorry for not being German. I am actually glad I am not. I am just starting to recover from all that shit and realizing that life exists out there. A life that is easy and almost worry-free. Where I have time for myself after work to do whatever I fancy.
If you are not German but living in Germany, I hope you are okay. It is not your fault, you are not the problem. Jump off the German reddit downvote train. They will try to convince you that you deserve it because your German is not good enough, or you live in the wrong city, or whatever other excuse they have to be arrogant assholes. You most likely speak two languages on top of your mother tongue, experienced more cultures. That makes you more open-minded than any of them. Don't take advice from people who only speak their language and have never experienced how tough it is to move to a new country. You are way braver than them and deserve a good life.

What would yall do if your boyfriend, at the start of your relationship, lied and said a girl with a heart next to her name on snap was his sister, turns out she was a girl he was messing with before, then you seen he slid up on two girls stories actin flirty, then had flirty conversations with two girls on tik tok, then he texted his ex secretly for a few days and deleted every message including the only one that you could’ve potentially seen had he not of deleted right in front of your face, don’t know why but you let it slide.
A few months go by you were doing good and as soon as you gained a little bit of trust for him you went through his phone and turns out he was texting his ex again but this time you actually saw the texts. When you read them you saw him saying how much he loved and missed her and how he missed kissing her neck and told her bye and he loved her just because you were going to be around so he’ll text her later when you’re gone. Whenever you confronted him about it he started trying to calm you down while you’re having a insane panic attack and wouldn’t really say anything. Then when you calmed down and actually came to your senses you told him he was disgusting and he needed to leave and then he started bawling his eyes out saying that he always does this shit, just self sabotages everything good he ever has and apologizes so much you can’t even count.
The way he said everything made me want to actually believe him but I really don’t think I could ever trust him again he’s alr killed my trust so many times and not just with girls he just lies about little random shit for no reason.
He lives with me and my family and has no where else to go except somewhere that is multiple states away and I’d feel bad for just kicking him to the streets because I feel like nobody should ever be treated that way. He makes me feel like almost everything I want to do or do is just a chore to him he makes me feel unlovable sometimes. The only problem is is that when he’s good it’s so good and I love it so much, I feel like no one could ever love me as much as he does in those times. I know I should probably break up with him but I feel like I can’t, like I can’t kick him out because he will be homeless and I can’t kick him out because who will love me like he did or better than he did. There’s so many reasons I should’ve left but I just love him so much I feel like I can’t do anything without him. I’m sorry if this seems all over the place but I honestly am atm.

In 1993, he graduated from The Chapin School in Manhattan, where he started his university education a year early with advanced courses. In 1994, he was admitted to Colombia University, where he studied economics, and then was admitted to New York University in 1998 for his graduate studies. He graduated magna cum laude with a master's degree in international finance from New York University's Stern School of Business. During his studies, Orson was mentored by professor Chris Logan, and learned about the history of Wall Street in the United States through his lectures and many informal conversations. Orson was very fond of the story of the rivalry between Alexander Hamilton, the first Secretary of the Treasury, and Thomas Jefferson, the third President of the United States. As a result, he learned about the history of stocks and markets and developed a strong interest in them. During his college years, he studied macroeconomic development and microeconomics, combined with concepts from K-line analysis to integrate diversified and compound stock selection criteria. He achieved a profit rate of 64% in his first practical trading experience in the stock market, and later achieved a profit rate of 64% through his own trading in the stock market. Continuously improving his trading rules, Orson has created innovative trading ideas such as the Waltz Mechanical Manipulation Rule, the Three Point Resonance Principle, and the Institutional Trading Rule. He has also created high quality investment concepts such as the "Three Day Speculation Guidelines," "People with Reverse Thinking in the Stock Market," and "Family Investment Portfolios," which have been repeatedly regarded as classics by investors in the market. From 2002 to 2004, he was admitted to Harvard University in the United States for further studies and obtained a certification as a Chartered Financial Analyst. In 2005, at the age of 30, Orson entered the securities investment department of Merrill Lynch, the third-largest investment bank in the United States. In the following three years, he rose from an analyst manager in the securities investment department to vice president. After years of experience in the field, Orson has developed outstanding financial analysis skills, which have cultivated his unique investment thinking. He collects a large amount of financial information and conducts comprehensive analysis on it, which serves as the basis for investment judgment. Along the way, he met the love of his life, Brittany Megan, and started a family, which is even more important to him than his career. As Orson entered the upward phase of his career, most of the wealth he gained was used to invest in physical industries such as real estate, stock market, and medical devices in the United States, which further expanded the scope of his investments. On September 15, 2008, the global crisis broke out and Wall Street was in chaos. Bear Stearns and Lehman Brothers went bankrupt, and Goldman Sachs and Morgan Stanley transformed themselves from investment banks to bank holding companies. Affected by the subprime crisis, Merrill Lynch suffered losses of over $50 billion and asset write downs. In September of that year, it was acquired by the second largest bank in the United States, Bank of America, for a total transaction value of approximately $44 billion to avoid facing bankruptcy. Merrill Lynch's 95 year independent corporate operation had come to an end. Orson's portfolio also suffered its worst loss draw down that year. He resigned from his position at Merrill Lynch. At that time, Orson, like most investors, was also hit hard by the subprime crisis, making him despondent. He no longer held any hope for the financial future of him and his family. Finally, it was under the friendship and encouragement of his life mentor Chris Logan, his wife, and a group of family and friends that Orson regained hope for his financial future. In 2009, he joined UK Polar Capital Holdings as the Chief Investment Expert and was promoted to Senior Partner. During this period, he helped clients with his investment philosophy and expertise, as well as developed and protected their family/personal investment assets, enabling them to achieve their goals. He is committed to developing a combination of environmental and social governance (ESG) analysis and financial analysis to quantify the company's long-term potential risks and returns. Orson Merrick's core philosophy in financial education: 

Hi,

I’ve been lurking this subreddit since 2020 but this is my first lyrical analysis!

The Crux of my analysis here is that when Taylor uses “home” she is writing about a place where she can be openly queer. I read through every single lyric that involves the word home, and I think this fits well throughout her albums.

I also think Taylor juxtaposes her use of “home” with the use of “town”. I think when she uses town she is speaking about a place where she has to closet and cannot be her true self. I didn’t read through every use of town for this analysis like I did for home, but a cursory glance at her uses of it makes me think my thought is correct. I’m going to include some town lyrics below to highlight this.

I followed the instructions from The Manuscript, and started my analysis at the beginning with her usage of home from Debut onwards (I didn’t look at lyrics from songs that didn’t make it onto an album). The most interesting part of doing this analysis was seeing how the way she writes about home changes throughout her albums, especially after Lover. I also think that her use of home = openly queer evolves some throughout her albums. In her earlier work openly queer seems to be more just around the people she’s closest with, while in her late albums I think she’s writing about being openly queer to the public. This shift happens around the 1989 album.

Note: I didn’t include in my analysis when she uses the word “home” to refer to someone else’s home, only when she references her home.

I’m going to give some examples of her usage of home from each of her first seven albums (I’m not using all the examples, just the ones I find most interesting under this analysis), and then after that I think her usage becomes really interesting (and devastating, ending on a note of hopefulness).

Debut – Our Song:
“The first date: 'Man, I didn't kiss him, and I should have'
And when I got home 'fore I said amen
Asking God if he could play it again”
Fearless – The Best Day:
“And don't know how my friends could be so mean
I come home crying and you hold me tight and grab the keys
And we drive and drive until we found a town far enough away”
Speak Now – Enchanted:
“I'm wonderstruck
Blushing all the way home
I'll spend forever”
In these three instances, it’s clear the her home is where she is safe to just be her open self, pinning after her muses (women) and even crying after being picked on for being different.

Dear John also has an interesting use of home in comparison to town which furthers my theory that home = openly queer
town = closeted

“Don't you think I was too young to be messed with?
The girl in the dress cried the whole way home
Dear John, I see it all now, it was wrong”

Here she is allowed to cry on her way home, a place she can be emotionally safe and open about who she is
“I'm shining like fireworks
Over your sad empty town, yeah
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh”
Her language here makes you picture something devoid of character and happiness, I.E. a place where someone cannot be their true colorful and emotional self.

Red – All Too Well:
“I walked through the door with you, the air was cold
But somethin' 'bout it felt like home somehow
And I left my scarf there at your sister's house”
Despite the air being cold, she still feels like she can be openly queer in this area. This gives the same energy as this lyric from Treacherous
“'Cause all I know is we said, 'Hello'
And your eyes look like coming home
All I know is a simple name”
In These instances, she can be her openly queer self with the muse of her song.

1989 – Wonderland:
“I reached for you, but you were gone
I knew I had to go back home
You searched the world for something else”
Using the lens of home = openly queer, it seems like the muse of this song was not in a place where she could go with Taylor down that route, so Taylor had to go down it alone. This makes sense if Taylor was planning her Karma coming out at this point, and 1989 was a soft launch (which I think is likely).
Style:
“Take me home
Just take me home
Yeah, just take me home”
She is literally screaming to take her somewhere she can be openly queer, which again is especially compelling if you think that Taylor was already planning her Karma coming out.

Reputation – Gorgeous:
“There's nothing I hate more than what I can't have and
Guess I'll just stumble on home to my cats (Yeugh), alone
Unless, you wanna come along? (Oh)”
I think it’s really interesting that reputation only has 1 usage of home where Taylor is referring to her home, and it’s her drunkenly going home alone. This makes sense if Karma was her coming out album and it got shelved, and considering all the hate she was getting at the time, maybe she felt like the only time she could be her openly queer self was drunk and alone.

Lover – London Boy:

“I love my hometown as much as Motown, I love SoCal
And you know I love Springsteen, faded blue jeans, Tennessee whiskey”
Now, this to me is really interesting because it’s the first time in her discography she refers to a hometown in such a LOUD bearding song. In my analysis hometown = a glass closet. She’s not openly queer like she is at home, but she also isn’t TOTALLY closeted either. I also wonder if she doesn’t actually like Motown, or SoCal, and this lyric is sarcastic. She doesn’t actually love her hometown, but it’ll do.

“Babes, don't threaten me with a good time
They say home is where the heart is
But God, I love the English”
I think this line shows that her heart is still with the place she can be openly queer, BUT she cannot be there, so instead she “loves the English” (starts to beard again).
Death by a Thousand Cuts:
“It's death by a thousand cuts
I dress to kill my time, I take the long way home
I ask the traffic lights if it'll be alright”
She can no longer take the simple way home (to be openly queer) she has to take the long way, filled with traffic lights stopping her (maybe this is a metaphor for reclaiming her prior work). She doesn’t know if she’ll make it home, so she asks the traffic lights, but they don’t know either
Cornelia Street:
“As if the street lights pointed in an arrow head
Leading us home
And I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends”
What’s interesting in Lover is that I feel like her usage of home is different in some songs, I wonder if the songs she wrote while she was still going to come out are the ones where it seems like she’s heading home while other uses are the ones where it’s not as clear (London Boy and DBATC).

Lover:
“Forever and ever, ah
Take me out, and take me home (Forever and ever)
You're my, my, my, my”
Take her to the place she can be openly queer.

I also think it’s interesting that Lover has so many more references to her home than reputation. If Karma was completely scrapped and she started mostly over, then she would have more room to edit that theme out if she didn’t feel like she was heading home while Lover took a direction change much later, where she cut some songs and added some songs, so it would be harder for her to remove that theme, but instead she pivoted her attitude towards home in the new songs she wrote.

Folklore – Betty:
“But I know I miss you
I was walking home on broken cobblestones
Just thinking of you when she pulled up like”

If this is Taylor reflecting on a situation that happened when she was younger, then to me this line reads that she was waking home (to a place she could be openly queer) but it was on broken cobblestones. She was taking a broken path home and didn’t know it at the time because she was just thinking of her love instead.

My tears ricochet:
“And I can go anywhere I want
Anywhere I want, just not home
And you can aim for my heart, go for blood”
This to me, is one of the most heart breaking uses of home if it really is a place that she can be openly queer. After the masters heist, she could no longer go home Since she can no longer go home, you can aim for her heart and go for blood, the one thing she already wanted isn’t available to her anymore.
Evermore – Tis the damn season:
“And the road not taken looks real good now
And it always leads to you and my hometown
It always leads to you and my hometown”

It’s interesting to me that in the normal version of Evermore the only usage of home is hometown (she does use home in RWYLM bonus track). I wonder if at this point she was thinking maybe she would never get home again, and she was just stuck with her hometown.

Midnights – Dear Reader:
“If you knew where I was walking
To a house, not a home, all alone 'cause nobody's there
Where I pace in my pent and my friends found friends who care”
This to me shows that Taylor no longer has a home. She has lost the place where she can be openly queer. She paces around (which reminds me of The Prophecy where she pads around, I think these two songs are linked).

Sweet Nothing:
“All that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing
On the way home
I wrote a poem”
I have a lot of conflicting thoughts about what this line. But right now I think it could refer to songs she wrote/was writing for TTPD at this point. TTPD is a step towards her getting home finally.
You’re On Your Own Kid:
“The jokes weren't funny, I took the money
My friends from home don't know what to say
I looked around in a blood-soaked gown”
I think the jokes in this line could refer to the jokes made about ME! And some of her more loud lover lyrics, and her friends from home are the people who know she is queer and they don’t know what to say about the jokes being made about her or how horribly her coming out ended up going.

TTPD – The Prophecy:
“Oh, but it's gone again
Pad around when I get home
I guess a lesser woman would've lost hope”
This links back to dear reader. She is begging in this song to change the prophecy, to let her change the house from dear reader to a home. I think she was successful in changing the prophecy which is why she is no longer referring to this moment as a house when reflecting back to it and writing this for the TTPD. She is back in her home now because she laid out a plan and is going to come out soon.
Thank you Aimee:
“When I picture my hometown
There's a bronze spray-tanned statue of you”
Hometown = glass closet. I think this song is about anyone who contributed to keeping her closeted, including Taylor Swift TM and so when she’s picturing her glass closet, she is picturing the bronze tanned statues of Taylor Swift TM.

Florida:
“Little did you know your home's really only
A town you're just a guest in (Florida)
So you work your life away just to pay
For a time-share down in Destin (Take me to Florida)
Little did you know your home's really only
The town you'll get arrested (Florida)
So you pack your life away just to wait out
The shitstorm back in Texas
So in Florida she compares her home to a town in two different ones. I think this signifies her two failed coming outs.
A town you’re just a guest in = Karma
The town you’ll get arrested = Lover.
She was just a guest in her first failed coming out, it didn’t get anywhere near as far down the road as Lover, and she never would’ve been able to go through with it because her label at the time wouldn’t let her. She was just a guest in that home, it was really a town. She got arrested during her second failed coming out, literally stopped in her tracks by the master’s heist. Another town she thought was a home.
Fresh Out the Slammer:
“Now pretty baby
I'm running back home to you
Fresh out the slammer, I know who my first call will be to”
And the last usage of home so far! And we end on a hopeful note, after all the ways her home has been ripped from her, she’s fresh out the slammer and heading home!

I am thinking about doing a full post analyzing her use of town, but here are a few examples that I think add to my theory that town = a place she has to closet

Down Bad:
“Just to leave me here naked and alone
In a field in my same old town
That somehow seems so hollow now”
Clara Bow:
“No one in my small town thought I'd see the lights of Manhattan
This town is fake but you're the real thing”

No one in my small town thought I'd see the lights of Manhattan
This town is fake but you're the real thing
Breath of fresh air through smoke rings” (she literally spells it out here lol)
Cassandra:
“So, they killed Cassandra first 'cause she feared the worst
And tried to tell the town
So, they filled my cell with snakes, I regret to say”
TLGAD:
“Who knows, if she never showed up, what could've been
There goes the maddest woman this town has ever seen
She had a marvelous time ruining everything'”
Daylight:
“Maybe you ran with the wolves and refused to settle down
Maybe I've stormed out of every single room in this town
Threw out our cloaks and our daggers because it's morning now”
There are TONS more, so if a post analyzing her usage of town throughout town is at all interesting, let me know!

If anyone took the time to read all of this, I thank you! I love this community, it’s the only place I feel like I can actually read about Taylor’s lyrics without rolling my eyes, hopefully I did her lyrics some justice here!

That’s all, I just really miss him today. I’ve had a lot of other things going on but the header is just missing him. I’ve thinking about him so much lately. Yesterday I went out of town and to a side of another town I hadn’t been to in awhile, me and him used to live near there and I read a street sign and I could hear him saying it and it was hard because I had forgotten his voice and have struggled to remember what he sounded like for so long, and now I have this silly little street name that used to make me laugh, but now I just feel like crying. I hate him so much and I miss him so much. I wish I had a father still. I just want my dad